#idk it's so dumb to explain cause when i think of the argument in my head i'm like ''this is dumb no one will listen to this'' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shijiujun · 3 years

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on the danmei twitter fight

okay guys i didn’t wanna say anything about this and yes it’s that hot danmei twitter translations saga thing that’s going on, because honestly i feel like there’s nothing much to say but when i see dumb posts on tumblr taking about that, by people who present a misleading hot take and their friends or moots run off with it without even knowing what exactly is going on - it really pisses me off.

and also if you shit talk translators for not continuing their translations or locking their translations whatever - the door is that way on your right and left, but anyway here’s a rundown on what happened because i am seeing people make comments without two brain cells put together, without the slightest bit of consideration for the people who bring them translations

here’s my hot take and thesis: if you enjoy english translations made by fan translators, you don’t, in any way, no matter happens, shit talk fan translators. fan translators do this for free, and whatever their intentions are, whether genuine sharing or like some of you like to say, for clout, if you consume, and you enjoy these translations, i’m sorry, you’re not uninvolved, and you don’t get to sit on a high horse and say translators should or shouldn’t do something. you should just keep quiet, honestly, because someone else is doing you a favour, a favour that you are enjoying and taking. that’s what respect is.

i’m presenting both sides or i guess three sides of the story as objectively as i can, altho my support is still for fan translators who were just minding their own business before this blew up.

===

🔺 what happened:

so it started because one of the bigger translators in the fandom did this poll - i’m not blaming her at all, i doubt she had any intentions of shaming anyone or causing any controversy and was plain curious, but her poll asked english speaking danmei twitter how many people buy the digital, print copies of the danmei they read, and who did not.��

in my honest opinion, it’s not strange at all for her to have created that poll, considering just how much work she’s put into making sure things are accessible for the eng-speaking danmei fandom. i mean i’d be curious too, to know out of my thousands of readers, what the reading and buying behaviour is like. do yourself a favour and don’t read too much into it.

obviously in an era where a lot of people do consume content for free whether the underlying content is profit-making (like anime, donghua, manhua, manga etc.) or not (fanfiction etc.), it was unsurprising to see that the last option - the ones who consume danmei without paying a single cent, came out as the majority. i don’t think this is a surprising result at all, for all sorts of reasons that i will not get into now.

anyway, this is obviously kind of a sore point in the fandom especially for translators who want a wider audience to support their fave author’s works - i won’t get into that for now, but the issue began because other translators or fans started to criticize the majority of people who don’t pay for objectively rather affordable danmei and just consume things for free.

and yes, i don’t deny that the argument on both sides got really heated and emotionally charged with both sides calling each other names which i believe is uncalled for, but it totally derailed the crux of the issue, which basically is that the majority of english-speaking danmei fandom - consumes danmei for free.

anyway this whole thing escalated and fan translators were brought into this for no fucking reason at all except that the people who didn’t want, or were unable to pay for the danmei they usually consume, made what i call a LOGICAL FALLACY in argument by going to the extremes, i will explain why later.

the end result is that fan translators were brought into this (most of them, the bigger ones i know at least) without even participating in the direct crossfire. and obviously, you can see why they’re hurt and decided to lock their translations. let me explain why

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🔺 kind of like four camps:

(1) translators and fans who criticized those who consume danmei liberally but do not pay for them in any way - no merch, no digital copies, no physical copies, no audio dramas whatever

*** their arguments:

danmei is so cheap right, that technically people should be able to pay for it in one way or another, even if not all

danmei and its authors are, at the end of the day, out here to earn a living, and the industry, like any money-making industry, is a for-profit enterprise - and unlike public goods, if you cannot afford danmei, then there is no obligation for others to make it free for you (fan translators or otherwise, it wasn’t super clearly stated while this shitshow happened) when it is inherently a for-profit industry

yes, i don’t deny that some of them did call the peeps who don’t pay at all, “leeches” and other sort of names. personally, i wouldn’t go that far or even like venture there to be honest because in general, if it’s something that i’ll get punched in the face for if i called someone that in real life i tend not to do it, but i’ll leave my opinions, whatever they’re worth, for later

(2) the readers and fans of danmei who do not pay in any sort of way for them

*** their arguments:

some of them really cannot afford, even the dollar or more, to spend on danmei for several reasons: upbringing, culture, money-spending mindsets, real poverty, struggling to make ends meet etc. - some definitely more valid than others (and when i say not valid, it’s because SOME, a minority or like those few stragglers, say they cannot afford and then you see them like idk, throwing $50 on other merch on kpop and stuff - i’m just bringing up ONE example. not shaming anyone for spending more money on one aspect rather than the other, but yeah you can see why some of them, when making this same argument, are a little invalid, that’s just a small number of them tho)

if translators are blaming them for consuming free of charge, then the fault lies, at its foundation, fan translators who translate illegally, which i mean, in that definition, all of them including me

did i mention that we were called illegal translators like you know in response to being called leeches? anyway-

(3) others translators who literally were just minding their own fucking business before some smart alec dragged them into it

i don’t think most of us had an argument. we were just quietly munching on popcorn and staying out of it and yeah, can you imagine, we provide a service, however illegal it is, for free on our own time, we don’t even check whether people support legally or not, we just... provide, and pray that those who are able to, at least support in some small way or another do so, on their own time. i mean i don’t check, most of us don’t, not the bouncers at your local club before COVID happened do, and then suddenly, to be used to derail an argument, we were called illegal translators. and that we should stop translating, and that it is our fault that there are free riders in the fandom

(4) people who offered to provide JJWXC credits to those who said they couldn’t afford it etc.

honestly i think they were just trying to help - no different than a gofundme. there’s no shame in taking a free thing that people already weren’t intending to pay for. it’s there, just take it!

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🔺 the shitshow that led to fan translators locking their stuff up:

i would provide some actual examples in the form of screenshots but i’ve blocked most of them, and i don’t want to direct any sort of traffic to them so i guess you’ll have to take my word on it or go search on twitter yourself but-

(1) the affordability issue: i can understand the frustration at being called leeches, and some if not a majority of people, do have valid reasons for not being able to afford something or anything and end up pirating content they enjoy. hey, i am not about to crucify anyone for pirating at some point in their lives. we all have done it at some point, or for example hate disney+ and that $30 they were trying to rip off us for a subpar Mulan live action. i don’t have anything to say about that. inherently, is it wrong and illegal? yeah sure of course it is. do we call people leeches? i wouldn’t go that far.

if anyone cannot afford, cannot access for whatever reason, fine, i’m not gonna go check if jjwxc truly is banned in your country, or is your postal service so terrible that you definitely won’t be able to receive a hard copy of the book you like at affordable rates.

and if you have to pirate? go ahead. i mean it’s always been a rampant thing. the only thing fan translators and fans can do is encourage, motivate and incentivise as much as possible to get people to support legally. they can only put up REALLY COMPREHENSIVE guides as to how to access jjwxc or taobao or whatever.

and if you still cannot afford it and pirate, honestly no one cares about the story behind it. you owe no one justification, just as how no other person is obligated to take it into consideration or understand you or empathize with you. i don’t say this in a malicious way - i do think that in general, you just do you.

(2) the poor people don’t deserve nice things argument: honestly, this was not the point of this entire debacle, altho yes, people were rude to those who could not afford to support legally. but this is not the point of this whole thing.

main point - there are free riders who can support but choose not to because they choose to just consume it for free and if you are able to you should support

everyone going off on a tangent - you guys hate poor people / you guys are leeches

well guess what, no one wins in this argument.

there were a lot of people saying “reading danmei is our only source of happiness, are you saying poor people who can’t access legally don’t deserve to read danmei” (this is just one example i’ve seen, there are other variations), and it wasn’t put across perhaps in the right way, but the other camp of people were saying “you’re not entitled to it for free if you cannot afford it”, which raised a lot of hackles and anti-poor yellings

altho i do not deny that there are those who mean it maliciously, i think what everyone is trying to say is - the danmei industry, like any other profit-making industry, is looking to make profits. the people working in the industry, the authors even, are looking at numbers - traffic to jjwxc or other legal platforms, how much revenue they’re making from their live actions etc., comments, rankings, etc. i think @/hunxi-after-hours made a really succinct post on this aspect which yall should read.

it’s the same as - if you wanted to purchase a standee which costs $20 USD, but you cannot afford it = you don’t get it. there’s no way you can get this standee unless some gifts it to you for free. what the camp trying to ask people to support legally is saying, is that danmei is NOT A PUBLIC GOOD. it is a private, for-profit product. it might be intangible, but it is a PRODUCT that has a price that needs to be paid.

if you cannot afford it, you either don’t get access entirely (i’m saying this objectively and honestly from an economic standpoint). if someone gifts that standee to you for free, count yourself lucky - if someone makes a danmei accessible to you for free, COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. you don’t have to be grateful and treat them as gods or like obey their every word, but it’s not rocket science. someone did you a favour that you accepted and consumed, show some respect.

if you cannot afford to buy the standee - you do not go on twitter demanding that someone ensures that you have access to the standee for free. do you see how ridiculous this sounds once it’s a tangible product? and danmei novels ARE PRODUCTS. they are not FREE CONTENT. if someone cannot afford the standee, this is the equivalent of people going “we didn’t get the standee for free because poor people don’t deserve nice things”

totally missing the point. i don’t even know how it got to this. once again, i do admit that some users were unnecessarily mean, but going to the extreme of this is ridiculous. in argumentative essay writing we call this a logical fallacy:

e.g. “if you cannot pay for merchandise or danmei, it is a fact that you might not have access to it” morphing into “if we cannot pay for food, does this mean we cannot have access to it?!” - this is a slippery slope, and factors are not equivalent!!!! do they not teach people anything in school

don’t confuse fanfiction with danmei - danmei novels ARE PAID PRODUCTS unless for free chapters, just because it’s released online doesn’t mean it’s free public property, and also selected novels (did you guys know the WHOLE of SCI novel is free? about 500 chapters sorry, random, just a tidbit)

there are of course nuances right, like if anyone told me they were pirating disney+ content i’d be like yeah hey get one over those bloodsuckers, they take enough of our money and produce shit content anyway. the difference is that danmei authors, and the danmei industry itself can still be considered a nascent and not-yet matured industry, with a majority of authors if not all, depending on monetary flow, likes, comments, virality on the sites their content is hosted on, for a living, unlike hugeass MNCs trying to squeeze us dry for content that isn’t even interesting.

danmei is priced rather reasonably - and this brings me to another argument that was made, that the value of money is not the same for everyone. i don’t want to make comments on this because yes this is correct to a large extent. a $6 book might be cheap to most of us, but might be expensive to someone else. i’m not gonna comment on how cheap or whatever it is, if you gotta use your money for other things, definitely! i still maintain however, that a novel less than a dollar should be affordable to most people, a majority of people. and i definitely side eye some users who obviously have money but are just creating noise because they wanna continue free-riding

(4) the “they’re losing out on their international audience” argument: honestly, i feel like english-speaking danmei fandom gives themselves a bit too much credit. danmei has long thrived in china in its domestic market - sure the international audience is a plus to have and i’m sure the authors are grateful and flattered that people who don’t understand chinese love their content and love it a lot, but do they and their companies care about fans who basically don’t bring in money? i’m not sure (okay i’ll get to the fan translators doing illegal shit later okay i got it don’t be impatient)

and international fans are great, i don’t deny that - but when i see arguments like “oh but it’s their loss if they don’t cater or deny access to us, they get more popularity and sharing overseas”, i honestly think they don’t care as much as you think. once again, hunxi made a really good argument regarding non-sinophone audiences, but it really irks me, because this is the same as:

an instagram influencer saying they’ll give a restaurant exposure for free to their followers, if they get a free meal

it’s par for par - danmei authors wants earnings, popularity, tangible results that show that they are succeeding. this is life. if i put something out there for sale, i better be getting returns, simple economic logic. they probably don’t care that a non-paying reader is bringing them greater ‘exposure’ - once again, i mean this objectively.

and yes if they’re thriving without the international market then why should it matter that people are pirating right? which brings me to the next point~

(5) it’s fan translators faults for so many people pirating, and fan translators are the ones doing the “illegal” work: this one is like... wow where do i unpack this and how-

firstly, we are talking about assholes who can pay but decide to free ride and not pay for danmei, and we assume that if you really cannot afford and have to pirate, no one’s saying anything as long as you don’t go around spreading how to pirate, how the hell did it get to fan translators from “you guys are anti-poor” and whatever

yes, fan translations are indeed illegal, i don’t deny that, and i also don’t deny that there are translators who translate for clout and popularity but putting these aside - here’s what i have seen from people who ran their mouths and made this argument

“if you guys care about us pirating the book so much than fan translators shouldn’t have translated in the first place” and “if you wanna come after us for reading illegally, then fan translators, you guys should go get the copyright for the book and then translate it cuz what you guys are doing is also illegal”

hooooo i’m telling ya, i am all for translators locking up their translations at this point. see how fucking hurtful that is? you eat from my hand and then now you biting at the hand that fed you the gays in love?

honestly if you’ve made this argument or supported this, you can basically go to hell. yes this is personal because what, you think fan translators don’t take out their personal time and effort and hard work to make translations accessible to you? if you’re ever consumed and read translations, don’t be a hypocrite and make this argument. you benefitted from it, now you wanna say it’s their fault?

most translators want to share and spread the love they have for a novel right, want to show you how wonderful all these authors are, how much enjoyment u get from reading these wonderfully thought out stories of gays in love. yes we all know we are illegally translating, which is why on top of sharing we first, purchase the novels legally ourselves first, and then we try to encourage people to buy etc. and actually put their money to use. it doesn’t make it any less illegal, but we are bridging the gap between danmei and basically the english-speaking fandom, albeit illegally

we aren’t that self-important to ask for gratefulness but some respect would be nice. like i said, you read it, you consumed it, you enjoyed it, you can only access it because of illegal translators - a bit counter-intuitive to yell at these translators, who are simply telling you, if you can, please support. and none of us went “if you cannot afford, begone!”

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🔺 some people tried to help by offering jjwxc credits so people who cannot afford as they say, can get legal access: honestly, just take it right, guess what some of these users did in response

they said the people giving away credits are trying to redeem themselves for their comments by giving away free stuff

they also said that we are trying to shame the people who cannot afford it with this handout to them, to show that they are the bigger person - the fact that they think this is a handout to them is TELLING. the people offering this is giving their money not to these readers, but to the authors! that’s the point of this exercise!!!

one of them even said “instead of trying to do these giveaways, here, there are greater world problems out there, donate instead to these causes” - love the initiative, but how did we get from being able to afford danmei and entertainment content to saving the world? i just- i cannot

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🔺 so why i get why fan translators are locking up their translations, because wow, so hurtful:

you have no idea how many fucking assholes went “sure, lock up your translations, deal with the consequences” - ermmmm firstly, thanks for making a threat. like who the fuck do you think you are?

the consequences is... the authors still don’t get the money these free riders weren’t going to give them anyway, so no loss, and they weren’t reading on jjwxc anyway so you know, the authors don’t lose or gain any readership numbers or traffic they didn’t already have. instead, it WILL push and force people to pay for the PRODUCT. once again, it’s a product.

this works, and i’d say Word of Honor’s payment model worked marvellously for Youku, because they fucking forced everyone to pay to access content. ALL OF THEM. sure ok some people still pirated it, but how many MORE people paid on Youku, on Youku Youtube, watched on Viki etc. than if they didn’t? even english-speaking fandom were wracking their brains trying to purchase a Youku pass even if there were no subs initially - and other examples that lovely hunxi brought up in her amazing piece

and for translators?! honestly me for one, i’m glad i don’t feel pressured anymore to churn out a chapter every week since we get called names etc. most of us are glad to have a break to be honest. we’ve lost all motivation to translate because it’s a free service, at the very least we don’t expect like hate, or rudeass fuckers. for those who are doing a proof of purchase thing - go for it honestly!

hopefully it’ll minimize the free rider problem - some people for whatever reasons really cannot buy or support legally, that’s totally cool and they don’t have to justify it, i get that. but for others making the same argument but obviously are just unwilling to pay because they can’t read chinese, think it’s too troublesome when there are guides and translators provide it for free anyway so what’s the point - we all make concessions and make decisions to grab what we like (not talking about the ppl who have their various troubles and difficulties!)

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🔺 and those who are saying why is it the ‘rest of us suffer’ from locked translations just because of a few bad apples:

IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. where the hell were all of ya when we were getting called illegal huh? it’s about us fan translators getting shot at for no reason, and then people still demanding things for free. i don’t see any of the people i’ve seen on tumblr complain about fan translators stopping or locking translations defend any of us in any way. instead, you’re complaining.

it is the translator’s prerogative to start, stop and end translations, unless of course the original author starts to sue i suppose. i see people on tumblr going like if they were gonna do this, they shouldn’t have started in the first place etc. - i don’t what world you live in, but when i do something for free, then get called names and am attacked or get dictated on how i should do something that’s already like free, i tend to be less generous.

i’m sorry, do us illegal and free translators owe ANY OF YOU? i wasn’t aware any of us were being paid for this hobby. readers, especially those who CAN and just refuse to support, don’t get to say SHIT. translators deal with so much shit and so many entitled readers, i say they get to lock whatever they want as long as they aren’t profiting off of this monetarily.

let me give you an example - nan chan, which is translated by lian yin, completed translations by the way for all chapters. it is all free for viewing, and she only locked up one extra and asked for proof of payment. some dumbfuck quotes that locked up extra chapter tweet and said “honestly, this turned me off reading this novel because they restricted access”.

the. fucking. entitlement. the whole of nan chan is free, that’s like what more than 80 chapters. she locked up the EXTRA and the money goes to the author, she doesn’t earn anything. AND HERE THAT BIJ is (yes, i’m going to call them names because you know, fucking asshole who didn’t bother to check) going “yeah i didn’t wanna read because 1/80+ chapters were locked”.

AN EXTRA. LITERALLY AN EXTRA!!!!!!

at the end of the day, translators are not like DYING to translate, not like some of you are DYING to read the translations. once again, this isn’t a “BE GRATEFUL” message, it’s a please be respectful to the people who put in time and hard work for free and share the goodness ya know? what’s the use of yelling at fan translators as if we owe you anything?

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🔴🔴🔴 TOO LONG DIDN’T READ 🔴🔴🔴

some people may need really need to pirate - and no one needs to justify why they cannot afford to purchase etc. pirating happens all the time, translators only hope that when you can, and in whatever way you can, to support legally - in general we don’t ask and we get it! we’re just annoyed that some people think that it SHOULD BE FREE, when it is a paid product, especially for those who CAN afford it

readers are not entitled to shit on translators for what they do with their translations - once again, you’re not OBLIGATED to have it. so what if i start and stop? i’m the one doing the work, i get the only say. don’t be a hypocrite and shit on translators, whose works you’ve read - it’s no loss for translators, we read and enjoy danmei just fine

yes, fan translations are illegal, but you can’t read and enjoy them like some of you have, and then turn around and point the finger at translators - a lot of us are happy to stop translating - this isn’t a threat, but at the end of the day, shitting on translators simply decreases access, and sure, some people can indeed live with you know, MTL or shitty translations from people who’ve learnt chinese for only six months or whatever, but you’re gonna be reading an entirely different book tbh

the people saying illegal translators are at fault - funnily enough, most of them consume the translations, so what the fuck? i mean we know it’s illegal, we’re trying to share the love and trying to minimize the illegalities of it by redirecting people to hopefully support legally. it’s still illegal yes, but i think it’s hypocritical for people who have read translations, stab translators in the back. and now that translators are indeed ‘restricting’ and ‘removing’ their ‘illegal translations’, yall yelling again? and threatening?

fan translators aren’t “elitist” or “classist” - just looking for some respect in a community which seems to have taken them for granted, and also looking for support for their fave authors - and honestly a lot of us were caught in the crossfires truly, don’t be an asshole and demand things from fan translators - who are you talking about? do you know why they decided to lock? do you know know what their locking system is like and what for?

it’s not EASY to lock the translations up - it’s more admin work, it’s putting together a whitelist of people, if given the choice i’m sure translators would prefer to share everything. but not when there are assholes who have a comment on how they should translate etc. and yeah!!! calling us illegal!! i mean we are but still!!

the last straw was seeing that post on tumblr and people in the comments going like fan translators shouldn’t or should do something, without getting the whole picture, without even considering how hard it is for fan translators being caught in this situation.

whoever puts in the work gets to decide, and everyone else should leave them alone.

be nice to the people who really cannot afford as they say so (or just don’t think about it), be nice to the translators feeding you content, and the people who free ride and shit on translators - honestly, i’d say ready the pitchforks.

edit: i forgot to mention this is my hot take and i’ve tried to like present all the arguments i’ve seen so far. i’m definitely not doing all of it justice and i don’t claim to speak on behalf of any of them except maybe one or two- and i’ve definitely left out stuff, but anyway, lmao we’re just tiny people doing what we love. i wish we could solve you know inequality or poverty or hunger or other pressing concerns. if i was that great i wouldn’t be stuck on tumblr or twitter or have to make posts like these like a loser.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#danmei #danmei twitter #rambles #long post #literally cannot take the stupidity of some people anymore

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heyitsyn · 4 years

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Keeping Up With Seijoh Pt. 10

a/n: based on this post uwu

okayokayokayyeyyy

LOOOK I LOVE THIS SCENE LIKE I CAN GO ON A RANT OF HOW IMPORTANT THIS SCENE IS LIKE SKDJSLDKKSSM

okay so

yuhhhhhh

the way this is set up is basically seijoh simping for you

also they have their own separate gc just for them bc they dont want you to see them just simping for you

even tho oiks ltr does that everyday

but hes not ready for that conversation

there was a few times that you were kinda curious as to what was in the chat

but they would click off and they would blush before diverting you to a different conversation

this might sound hella weird and creepy

idk bout yall but i think its cute that they take random pictures of you doing the sinplest things

this all started bc of one picture

from baby aki-kun

so basically you stayed behind with kunimi during monday to just study and you sat in front of him while sharing his desk

babie took a pic of you just studying and he sent it to the gc with no context

its a known fact that seijoh doesnt practice during mondays so they were all doing something out of school

but they were all missing you so seeing you with kunimi fueled jealousy in everyone

even kyo

oikawa blew up in the chat and was keyboard smashing

the others were just teasing him like hes lucky youre with him

but behind the screen, they were blushing and red and envious and AAAAA

thus spurred on some sort of competition

like they would send the chat pictures of you like 'hA TAKE THAT SHES WITH ME'

unbeknowst to you, these boys have folders of just cute candid pics of you

oikawas insta is filled of you and his snap is full of you in his story and his tiktok is full of screaming simp rants about you

the tiktok comments are all like,

‘IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN SHES ADORABLE’

‘BACK🤺OFF🤺OIKAWA🤺I🤺CALLED🤺DIBS🤺ON🤺HER🤺FIRST🤺‘

random ones like him doing a day in my life type of vids and you appearing and everyone can just see the small blush on his face and the bashful yet happy smile on his lips

its really adorable

but the real ones know that shes been appearing in his insta since day 1

moilk.bread.1

thats practically your account now

welll,,,

its more of a fan account for you and a lot of people from aoba johsai follow that account since you dont have an official one yet so they all simp for you there

the pictures were all from everyone like the boyz group chat was a haven for your candids

you did think it was strange that the boys would constantly ask to take pictures with you and everyone was just trying to get a pic to have aesthetic couple pics w you

and they would put it as their wallpaper or lockscreen

IMAGINE THE BLUSH THEY WOULD GET WHEN COMPLETE STRANGERS WOULD ASK THEM IF THATS THEIR GIRLFRIEND

oooo i mentioned this in the post too that iwa and you went to the gym and you guys took a mirror pic

after, you didnt really like the gym bc its just hard yanno?

iwa went back and while he was setting up his weights and equipments, his gym buddy noticed his phone light up causing your picture to show up

'oh? is that your girlfriend, iwaizumi?'

duh he doesnt have a girlfriend so he was like 🤨 until he saw his phone

the lockscreen was blaringly bright and your 'couple pic' was showing with the notifications

totally not oikawa blowing up their group chat bc he was with you

ofc babie hajime got all flustered and he blushed before shaking his head

'n-no'

he mumbled and his buddy laughed before clapping his back

'well, you obviously like her so do somethinf about it before someone does'

dont you think he doesnt know that?

also with mattsun!

this mans works in a cute cafe that this old granny owns and this thought has been living in my head rent free

and he was working during the weekend at the cafe

there were other people there but granny loves him bc hes been working there sibce he was like 15 and she took care of him a lot

he was like a grandson

so while he was serving, this granny was manning the cashier and checking people out

issei's phone was there on the table behind the counter and it started glowing at the indication of the messages being received

'have a nice day-oh!'

she noticed it right there and she saw the picture on his lockscreen

you were probably being carried by him due to your levelness with his height and you were kissing his cheek while issei smiled brightly

that was a picture you both took during an outing at the mall and the sunset behind you was just perfect to take a picture in

poor granny was like 'oop dont look at the messages' so she turned it over to not go to his privacy

there again you were

it was a polaroid of you two and he was backhugging you at school

hint? 👀

askldfjlsdkf

she knew issei was a very handsome young man so there shouldnt have been a surprise that he would be dating someone

can we name this granny?

granny inko lol

okay so granny inko saw issei coming over to rest the serving board thing and she beckoned him over

mattsun nodded and leaned over the counter to see what she wanted only to be greeted with a flick to the forehead

‘oW what was that for?’

he whined while holding the spot

granny inko tutted disapprovingly before crossing her arms

‘youve been working all week this week when you could’ve taken time off to spend it with your pretty lady. is this how men are nowadays? didn’t i teach you right to treat women properly?’

duh baby mattsun was confused like O_O

‘wha?’

his dumb question made her grab the phone and place it on the counter in front of him

‘your girlfriend, child. women need attention constantly and as much as you want that money, is it worth losing that smile full of happiness?’

okay stop it granny im getting emotional

more like disagreeing bc that wouldnt put food on the table BUT ANYWAYS

baby issei was surprisingly embarassed and scratched his neck

‘um,, baa-chan,,,,, she’s not my girlfriend’

he flustered and gave her an awkward smile

granny inko shot him a confused look and tapped the phone

‘well, she looks like she is. and if not, better hurry your move, boy. girls that make men happy like that only comes as rare as a good scratch ticket’

LMAO

i do not encourage gambling so please save your money kids

you know what

these boys do that just to actually feel like it

okay thats confusing so imma explain it in greater detail

whenever someone mistakes you as their girlfriend, it makes them feel like you are for that split second and its just an addicting feeling

its like what if you were their girlfriend?

i mean, youre already the whole team’s girlfriend but theyre greedy brats and just want you for themselves

ohohohohoh

kyo!!

kyo def has a selfie of you both with the doggie filter but it was actually you who took it while he was just staring at you in the background

that was his lockscreen for like the rest of his high school career

lol

anyways!!

he was actually in a fight and during it, his phone fell off to the ground and conveniently oikawa messaged causing it to light up

one of the thugs had their hands gripping kyo’s collar and was pushing him against the wall while the others were surrounding them

they saw the phone flash and kyo cursed at the terrible timing and he made a mental note on killing oikawa later

a guy picked it up and he smirked, seeing the pretty smile of a pretty girl

‘heh? whats this?’

kyotani pushed the guy who was holding him but other two surged towards him and held him tighter

their leader snatched the device and chuckled

‘oh. its that bitch from his school. what is it’

he snaps his fingers as he tries to remember before stopping

‘aha! l/n y/n!’

kyo growled

‘shut up!’

the guy grinned at him and tapped the phone against kyo’s chin

‘oh yea. i heard shes a cutie. most people here know her, kid. now we know shes connected to you and guess what. you cross us again, she’ll take your place as you are right now. orrrr, we can,,, use her as our pet. thats how she is in your team, right? so let us have a turn. maybe we can send you a pic, hm?’

yea no that wasnt happening

kyotani easily beat those people up after because even just saying that unleashes power he didnt know he had

‘bastard. youre lucky this is just a warning. you touch her and i will kill you’

he landed one last kick on the guy’s face before taking the phone and leaving

now he has to figure out how to hide the bruises

you fussed later and he didnt tell you the reason instead just saying they said something that made him angry

nah

you were a person he didnt want to disappoint and he knows how much it hurts you to see him in that state

that was one of the things he hated but loved at the same time

you were such an empath that you would treat him and wince as if you were the one feeling the pain instead of him

and it made him feel special

you were one of the few things he holds close and he would be damned if anything happened to you because of him

the group chat was actually just blowing up with more screaming and the third years yelling at each other with the first years just casually reading the texts

they were used to the arguments within the team and you would remain so naive with the whole thing

kunimi is the type to keep silent and he didnt really care about anyone getting angry if you were spending time with him

but he does get annoyed if you were with kindaichi because you three were a package lol

like when kindaichi and you were at the arcade, this kid walked all the way there just because he didnt want kindaichi to hog you to himself

duh you thought this was adorable and endearing bc they wanted to hang out w you

no LUV theyre greedy brats who gets jealous over yOU

so like i mentioned before that you and makki would walk over to the bakery and you guys would buy food there and such

and its also canon in here that makki only shares his food with you and no one else lol

why?

because when you eat the puffs, you put one in each cheek and it makes you look so adorable like a squirrel

sorry but squirrels are so cute like AAAAA

makki takes so many pictures of you and a lot are surprise shots where your eyes would be wide with cheeks full of food

aaaaa so cute

like you and makki sat down on a bench in the park across the bakery and you excitedly dug in to your own treat

makki chuckled at your excitement but he placed his hand on you arm to stop you

‘y/n-chan. say aaa’

you lit up and let him put the puff in your mouth and thought he was done but was surprised when there were two

you happily chewed it and went back to looking at your treats

but makki interrupted you again by calling you out

‘princess~’

the nickname made your eyes widen with red painting your cheeks and the shutter of the camera made you realize what he did

‘makki-senpai!’

you whined and he laughed

makki had a lovestruck smile on his face and he wiped the bit of creme on the corner of your lip

‘gotta take care of my princess~’

STOPPPPP MY HEART? GONE MY SOUL? GONE HOTEL? TRIVAGO

OH MY GOD IM IN SUCH A MAKKI AND MATTSUN AND IWA AND OIKAWA AND THIRD YEARS IN GENERAL BRAIN ROT PLEASE HELP

but we gotta give love to the second years :’)

ive mentioned that watari is the only person to ever go into your house right?

well, he comes over to cook and such so you guys spend time making food for the team

watari takes this opportunity to take pictures of you cooking and the group chat cries bc its so domestic and they all start having the same thoughts

they really said seijoh braincells

it was like seeing a glimpse of a possible future for them

you, wearing an apron, cooking on the stove with your hair thrown in whatever with baggy clothes

gosh

thats like you someday being their wife and waking up one morning to see you there cooking in the kitchen

oikawa swears he had a dream that night because of that picture and he continuously thanks watari for YEARS because of that picture

okay are you curious about the dream?

yuhhh

oikawa woke up in an unfamiliar bed in a foreign room

he felt his bones crack when he stretched and his hand extended out to a side that was still quite warm

somebody must be sleeping next to him

then he stood up, catching his reflection in the mirror in front of the bed

;)

why would there be a mirror there hmmmm????

ANYWAYS

he noticed he had a bigger build and his hair was longer

then came the itch of the facial hair that he swore wasnt there a minute ago

this guy even checked out his butt and to his surprise, wow

obviously he was confused and a part of him thought this was the future

tooru walked to the door to go into the hallway and concluded, yep, this was not his house

then he heard music being played somewhere and a mixture of voices coming from a room

sounded like a woman and children

he stops at the top of the stairs, suddenly hit of the thought that this voice was so familiar

‘hm?’

tooru walked downstairs and stopped when down the hallway in front of the steps led to the kitchen where the voices seemed to lead to

‘mama! mama! mama! toast! i wan toast!’

‘in a bit, darling. just let me finish flipping the pancake’

the song was lo-fi with the volume being turned low enough to hear the voices fine

tooru wandered down the hallway and he stopped, finally seeing the owners of those voices

there was a handsome little boy sitting on the chair by the island and his brown hair was a mess of wild curls

there was a woman with h/c hair swaying to the tune and a beautiful little girl curled up in her arms while sitting on her hip

‘hey’

oikawa spoke out and caught everyone’s attention

‘papa’s awake!’

‘pa!’

‘hello tooru’

tooru froze

that was you

he knows it’s you

‘y/n-chan’

he whispered and you looked back at him from the pan

‘yes? if youre looking for coffee, we ran out apparently’

that was not what he was talking about

he hastily walked over to the boy and he blinked rapidly

‘you look like me’

he mumbled and the child grinned

‘eung! papa and yozo look the same! mama and nana say so!’

yozo?

feeling like all the attention was on him, the little girl whined and her hands made grabby motions to him

‘pa pa’

she whined and tooru just felt something in him that screamed to hold the kid

you shushed the little girl

‘dont worry, looney loon. papa’s right there’

loon?

tooru stayed frozen at his spot and you raised an eyebrow at him

‘tooru? luna wants you’

luna

that snapped him out of his trance and he held the little girl in his arms where she smiled at him and then he felt tears welling up in his eyes

then he woke up

okay sorry that was a long dream

so this dragged on for so long already okay

this was only meant to be small but aaaaa i couldnt help itt!!!!

but anyways!

the boys are just simps for you and theyre creeps that take pictures of you and they think about you all the time pls accept their love

also a mild continuation of the dream:

oikawa was holding luna and she was happily laying there when another figure emerged from the hallway

‘iwa-chan?’

he asked, surprised

what was he doing here?

iwa heard his name and grunted before going to a beeline for you

you smiled at him and he leaned in to give you a kiss to which oikawa froze in

iwa noticed his best friend holding his daughter and luna saw her father there

‘daddy!’

she shrieked and tooru blanched

‘uh, what?’

iwa extended his hands out to hold the girl but tooru held her tightly and leaned back

haji narrowed his eyes

‘um, give me my daughter, oikawa’

he grumbled and tooru shook his head

‘no! shes my daughter!’

you blinked

‘your god daughter, yes. but she’s half of your best friend, tooru’

half of his-

god? daughter?

‘so that means-’

‘piece it together, oikawa. did ya get brain damage or something? babe, call the doctor’

oikawa screamed

a/n: lol look WHO ROSE FROM THE GRAVEEEEEEE :) anyways. i really want to deeply apologize to everyone for taking an unexpected break and i shouldve told you guys and im really sorry :( everythings just chaotic lmao and im just like taking a breath for a second uwu and im so AMAZED at how many people still follow me even tho ive been gone for so long like bls yall are real ones :’) i love you all and the req box is still closed at this time as i need to finish the ones i have first soo thankyou for reading thiss and hopefully ill update soonerr!!! :)))

also not me completely messing up my kuws and missing 8 and 9 in my masterlist and having a mindblowing realization that i have 10 keeping up with seijoh fics

305 notes · View notes

kidney9-9 · 4 years

Text

Give Me Your All - Tom Holland

Anonymous asked: heyyy, idk if your still taking requests but could I ask for a Tom smut??? It’s okay if not, just ignore this. But if so, could you write one where Tom has a massive crush on the reader and he’s touching himself to the thought of the reader and records it (moaning and all) , pretending that he was going to send it because it turned him on. But after he climaxes, instead of deleting the video he ACTUALLY sends it. You could take it form there, but yeah phew🥵

Hey there sweetie, hope you enjoy this oneshot of Tom Holland and Reader. Please read the warnings. This oneshot is childhood friends-to-lovers :) Let me know if you’d like a part two, I didn’t get to write everything I’d like to, because it’s already long :)

Tags in reblog, to join a taglist send in an ask or press the link in my profile. Masterlist is linked in my profile.

Tom Holland x Reader (Smut) Warnings: Smut, confessions of love, unsolicited nude video, swearing, nicknames (sexual and nonsexual), teasing, female recieving oral, mention of hand job, unprotected sex, talk of kinks, slight mention of hand kink, biting, some dominance fighting, choking/breath play and some dirty talk. Please do not read if any of these warnings made you uncomfortable, thank you :) Word Count: 7.4k

He’s been friends with you since forever, and he’s been in love with you since then. Your friendship was something he valued close to his heart as well, loving how you were kind to him and how funny you two would get sometimes. He remembers how the two of you met, back in kindergarten. You were playing near the slide, and you demanded people called you the Queen of the court. Being only five years old, everyone was confused, including Tom. He was the one to question you, and your explanation only made it more confusing, making him feel competitive though. He challenged you to a duel using sticks for the title of Queen of the court. You both ended up with bruises and scrapes, but giggled at each other, shouting dumb jokes about chickens and crayons.

You’ve been inseparable since then. You were there when he lost his first tooth and made a letter with him to the tooth fairy for a mighty amount of 1 trillion pounds. Tom ended up receiving one pound and an old copy of Toy Story. You both cherished that movie forever, claiming the tooth fairy loved giving cool movies to Tom, because every tooth he lost after that (until he realized the tooth fairy wasn’t real), he received old copies of movies and a few pounds. He remembered the crush he formed on you by age 11, how he would blush and call you a dumb girl when you’d compliment cute things about him, and then he would apologize and tell you how he thought you were a bit too cool to be a girl (which always led to funny arguments).

By age 16, he realized that it was much more than just a crush, watching you have your first kiss. It hurt him, and he thought it would be the end of the world because he was convinced you didn’t want to be friends with him anymore. Sure, he had his first kiss at 14, but it was a truth or dare game, and he didn’t like the other girl, but it still hurt to see you kiss someone else. He always wished that his first and last kiss would be with you.

And now, he knew for sure he was in love with you. So many years being close to you, but unable to make a move, it was tough.

It’s been hard, hiding his real feelings for you and watching as you would get your heart broken over again. He tried many times to get over you, to date random girls or just have hook ups, but it always ended the same- he’d end up thinking of you. He’d think of how you’d smile brightly to him when he’d make a stupid joke, or how you would nudge him during parts of a movie you found funny. Or when you’d giggle loudly when you’d accidently drop your phone multiple times a day, or when you’d wear his sweaters when you’re cold. He truly loved you, and when he learned to accept it, it only strengthened.

He’d find himself gazing down at your body at moments, and just wonder what it would be like if you were moaning and whimpering under him. He couldn’t count the times he’d catch himself with a hard on just by seeing you in his bedroom, where you two always hang out. He’d excuse himself quickly, rushing to the bathroom and he’d groan quietly, lecturing himself to stop thinking about you.

It rarely worked, and he’d sit with a hard on for hours as you laid back on his bed, scrolling through your phone as you talked to him, without a clue of what bulging pain he was going through.

He couldn’t help it today either, realizing he hadn’t seen you lately and he pulled up your text messages, to read what you two spoke about before. His cock stirred and twitched in his pants as your profile picture loaded on the screen.

It was one of his favorite photos of you, beautifully sat next to him, with your head tucked close to his neck and your lips barely touching his skin as you beamed. Fuck, it was too much. The adrenaline he would have when he’d jerk off, filming in the messages he had with you was addictive. It turned him on so much, it felt so real, that he would actually send it to you, and he could only dream that you would send one back- or even come to him.

Tom slipped a hand under his boxers, after he spit into his hand. It curled around his cock, gently bringing it out from his boxers and sighing in relief as he pumped it to life. His finger swiped over his tip, collecting some of the precum to slide down the rest of his cock. He pressed on the record button with his other hand, facing his cock and him as he moaned quietly at the start.

“Fuck,” He murmured, blinking slowly as he focused on the picture near his bed of the two of you. It was another one, different than the profile picture. You had your legs wrapped around his, in a game of twister the two of your played back on his latest birthday. He remembered the feeling of you so close, touching his bare legs with yours and he remembered your breathing hitting his skin, and he soaked in the memory, almost feeling you against him again.

“Y/n…” He moaned out, closing his eyes now, and his hand started to curl faster up and down, slapping all the way to his skin, savoring the sounds as if it was him pounding into you instead. Oh, how much he imaged your pussy clenching around his cock, soaking in juices and cum, and you’d be stuttering out his name, crying for more. The camera focused on his cock, picking up all the noises of his heavy breathing, and the sounds of his hand moving up and down at an increasing speed over his precum soaked cock.

“I need you so bad,” He whimpered, imagining you sat naked against his sheets while he walked closer to your figure. He’d pleasure you, first. He would beg to hear you moan his name; chant out swears while you’d cum all over his face. “Cum for me, be my good girl, you can do it.” He gasped loudly, head tilting back even more. Your pussy would pulse against his cock as he’d slide it sloppily against your clit to get you even more aroused and soaked.

Oh, fuck, just thinking of you wet made him hang right over the edge. “I- fuck, such a good girl, you can do it, I love you!” He cried out, hand shaking with his phone and the video still capturing the moment. His cock twitched with anticipation, leading up to his orgasm. Tom flicked his thumb over his tip repeatedly before slapping up and down with even more speed.

“Y/n, angel, please- fuck- you’re too good to me.” He whimpered, his cock finally spilling with cum, spurting out in long moments as Tom breathed heavily, keeping his hand on the base of his cock. He sighed, opening his eyes as he wished you were here.

He watched as his cock stopped coming, and he wiped up quickly, making sure he didn’t let any of it fall onto his sheets. He stopped the video, tossing the phone on his bed as he stood up slowly to go wash his hands. He took off his boxers, throwing them to a corner of his bedroom, and walked over to his bathroom. He tried to stop thinking of you, knowing he’d only be even more horny if he continued, and he would have to jerk off again.

His hands lathered in the soap and water and he didn’t care to dry them as he walked back to his bed. He gazed at the phone, trying to press out of the message app, but instead it froze causing him to groan. He irritated tapped at the screen, just wanting to delete the video and get out of the app.

But instead, it replayed the first part of the video, and Tom gulped in nervousness, quickly realizing what might have just happened. He turned off his phone in an instant, shakily pressing the home button again, and unlocking it to see the messages again. “Fuck!” He yelped out, seeing the video had sent to you and he froze as he saw you start typing back.

“No, no, no” He continued, as fear and panic stroke through him, knowing he fucked up completely now. “Shit, how do I delete this?” He groaned loudly, starting to breath unevenly and in a panic, as the video played over again, and he quickly wiped his hands onto his sheets, not caring that it got wet.

He started typing, in shock. He was writing apologies left and right, as tears started to burn in his eyes. He didn’t want to lose you, not like this. It was a mistake, he didn’t mean to do it, he wrote heartfelt, and with passion, trying to explain you were never supposed to see or know any of this. That it was wrong for him to take videos, moaning your name. Tears started to drop onto the phone screen as your message popped up.

“Are you at home?”

Tom gasped after he pressed send to the long apologies, quickly typing that, yes, he was at home. He continued to add an even longer sorry in the message, as he started to cry more. Just mere minutes ago he was moaning your name, now he was crying your name. He didn’t want to lose you; it would be terrible and unimaginable.

That was when his phone started to ring, with your name at the top. You were calling him, and his eyes widened in further shock, wondering what he should do. He hesitated until the third ring, pressing accept and putting you on speaker.

“Hello? Tom?” Your voice came through the phone, causing Tom to shakily sigh out. His face rested in his hands as he groaned muffled, “Hey…” He trailed off, trying to stop his crying and apologize again. He was sat on his bed without any of his clothes, and before he could continue, you spoke up again.

“Do you- are you alone right now?” You murmured into the phone, causing Tom to glance up confused. His eyebrows were furrowed together as he quietly answered you, “Yeah, I am. Listen, I’m really sorry, that was inappropriate and…” He paused as you cleared your throat.

Your question burned through his mind, “Did you mean it? That you love me?” Yes, he meant it, he swore he’s been in love with you so long. The fear that he felt as he opened his mouth to reply was harsh, but he knew that he needed to confess now or never.

That video was never supposed to be sent to you, but he knew if he finally got it out, then there would be some type of light feeling he’d have off his chest. He nodded, silently hyping himself up and pushing out the nervousness as he pulled his face away from his hands and squeezed at his thumbs.

“Yes, I love you.” He confessed, biting down harshly on his lip as silence went through the call.

Panic filled his thoughts and body as he heard you shuffle on the other line. “Y/n?” He whispered, staring down at the phone as he went rigid, wondering if he’s lost you now. Fuck, he wouldn’t know how to cope with losing you. Everything started with you, and you were his best friend. He didn’t care if he’d be hurt, watching you fall in love with someone else if that meant he could still be close and be your friend. But if he lost you, it would hurt the most.

“I’m coming over.” You responded, after those few moments that felt as if they were hours to him. He didn’t know what to do in that second, he almost forgot to breathe until you called his name again softly. “I love you too.” You whispered into the phone, hanging up as you got into your car and sighed out in shock.

Tom sat on his bed, naked as warmth spread through him. You love him back? The same way he did? He fell back onto his bed as one of the brightest smiles he’s ever had appeared on his face, love-doped by the fact his most desirable dreams were real- they came true. But he instantly shot right back up with a loud yelp. You were on your way right now, holy fuck. He glanced down to his figure in shock and stumbled up, rushing to his closet and tugging out new boxers. His eyes searched his closet for over two minutes, stressing about what to wear, and what the fuck was happening.

“Shit,” He pressed out, just tugging out an old but nice shirt he hasn’t worn in a few years. He buttoned it up and threw on his boxers and pulled out a pair of pants before groaning. It wasn’t a fucking business meeting, was it? No way, he pulled out a pair of dark jeans instead, slipping and tumbling as he pushed them on quickly.

You. Just you, he thought of. Everything about you was so amazing, and he couldn’t think of anyone or anything that was more flawless than you.

He snapped out of his thoughts as he heard you knock on the door and his eyes widened once more, rushing to the mirror and glancing down at himself, like he had pre-date nerves but much worse. He ran over to the door after a few seconds, and answered it, tugging the door completely open as you smiled softly to him.

“Hey,” You mumbled, smiling to him as Tom’s mouth opened up, but he had no idea what to say except, “Sorry! Again!”

You laughed back and shrugged. It was very surprising, shocking in fact. But also, just fucking hot, you watched it so many times, just hearing him moan out your name in such a way. You had so much to say and wanted to know- but it was still just incredible to you that he loves you like you love him. You can’t count how many times you’ve accidently moaned out his name when you were with your ex, but it just proved you love Tom so much.

When you developed feelings for him back in middle school, you quickly denied them. It didn’t make much sense at first, but you remembered seeing him in a different way. Noticing the strange but lovely things about him, how he tugged on his hair when he was bored, or nervous. And when he’d smile and look down, as if he was shy or insecure about it. You slowly started to start noticing these things about him, and you started thinking about him more, thinking about how something reminded you of him.

By high school, you thought he was your soulmate. Which wasn’t really a good idea to think. You’d be upset seeing him date other girls, and you tried to convince yourself that he wasn’t the one, that your soulmate was out there- and soon you just stopped believing in soulmates or even twin flames. Maybe the two of you were destined just to be best friends for life, which you thought back at the end of high school would be fine.

Something about Tom was that the had glow ups almost every month, it seemed impossible but each time you saw him, you’d be more attractive to him. Notice his dimples, and how his shoulders developed more muscle to them. Summer was always a mess for you, seeing him in his trunks, you couldn’t look anywhere at him without thinking of the things you wished you could do with him, but most of all you wanted to be with him.

Now with his video, everything seemed so complicated but easy to solve at the same time. You didn’t know what he was thinking though, and you wondered if you’d leave without a best friend, or even happier. You’d hope for the later, but it was up to whatever would happen now. You cleared your throat, as you stepped into his house, after Tom moved out of the way silent.

“Y/n…” He started, watching as you took a seat on the edge of the couch, facing him. You nodded back to him, biting your lip as your eyebrows knitted together in nervousness. Tom walked closer to you, choosing to take a seat on one of the chairs next to the couch.

“I’m really sorry. You weren’t supposed to find out- at all. I know that was just horrible, and I feel really bad.” He rambled, sniffling slightly as he waved a hand through his messy hair. You saw everything, it was so embarrassing, but he felt confused, after hearing you confess back to him. “Tommy, I- um, it’s okay.” You replied, nodding your head back to him.

He groaned, knowing it wasn’t. No one likes being sent videos like that without their permission, and to hear him say your name and what he was saying must’ve been the cherry on top. “And, I do love you, Y/n. I’ve been in love with you for a while now, but I don’t want to lose you.” He went on, gazing at you softly and worriedly.

“You won’t lose me…” You trailed off, glancing around the room. “Unless you want to. I don’t want to lose you either, you’re my best friend and I love you- I’m in love with you too.” You whispered back, feeling your heart start to race. Tom blushed at your words, as his eyebrows raised.

“You really love me?” He questioned, starting to wonder if this was just all a dream. How many times have you said it now in the past hour? It was just all a shock to him now, but it was true, everything was. You giggled back at his question, watching a goofy grin pulled across his face, “Yes Buzz Lightyear!” You replied, laughing even more as Tom let out a loud laugh.

The nickname traveled all the way back to when the two of you watched Toy Story for the first time together. You told him he looked like Andy but acted like Buzz, to which he proudly stood up from the couch and shout, “To infinity and beyond with my best friend!” You quickly bounced next to him, standing on the couch excitedly, “We’re best friends?” You questioned. And that was the story of how you two got even closer, still watching Toy Story together even now.

You both watched Toy Story and lots of other movies together throughout the years. Constantly nicknaming each other by the characters. It was an inside joke you both played by, but you felt especially happy whenever he’d call you something. He’d nicknamed you Matilda after he saw you carrying three textbooks in the hallway and you usually stuck to calling him Buzz.

While you were laughing hard, Tom stood up from his seat, admiring your beauty while he walked over to you. You calmed your laughter, letting your face soften as Tom came closer, and you hoped off the couch, glancing to his lips for a few moments. Tom saw your movement, as he parted his lips and licked them gently. The thought of your perfect lips against his, he almost groaned.

His eyes also drifted down to focus on your lips, favoring the way they sparked in the soft sunlight. You were beautiful, always, inside and out, something he found wonderful. Your eyelids fluttered as Tom stepped even closer to you, where you can feel his breath his against your skin. You leaned up, tilting your head close to his as his hand gently grasped under your chin.

“I love you Y/n.” He whispered, closing the gap between the two of you, landing his lips against yours softly. You instantly responded to his kiss, closing your eyes completely now, as you felt yourself fluster with happiness and excitement. Your mouth opened slightly, letting your tongue out as the kiss deepened. His tongue warmed against your lips, licking them as you wrapped a hand around the back of his head, gasping slightly.

Fucking sparks.

It was perfect, his arm flew around to your back, pulling you closer to him as you tugged on his hair and played with it. You stepped closer to him, as the two of you started to kiss passionately, and his other hand drew down under your shirt, skimming your skin gently as you gasped at the coldness. It only led to him kissing you even harder, as he stumbled with you back around to his bedroom, knocking into random objects of the house.

He cursed as he pulled away, breathing deeply along with you and you pulled him in for another kiss, bumping into one of the floor lamps, causing you to giggle against his lips. You both clumsily and blindly walked back towards his room, still hitting walls and even a pile of scripts he had on the floor.

His hands now were both under your shirt, sliding up and down on your back, feeling your soft skin as you still had one in his hair, tugging it with more force now. Your other arm went down to his neck, circling shapes and pinching at times.

When Tom’s back hit against his bedroom door, you both pulled away for a few moments, taking deep breaths as he pulled the doorknob, opening to the room. He pushed the door opened quickly, before taking ahold of you again, groaning as your lips hit his, instantly opening as his tongue explored your mouth. You both stumbled into the room, but instead of going to the bed, he pushed you against the wall to get closer to your figure. He grunted, feeling his cock twitch again as he felt you grind against his leg, trying to heave yourself up.

Tom grunted, pulling away from your lips, but kept his head against the wall, pulling your body up as you jumped. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and you pushed your hips against his, moaning when you felt a spark of heat run through your body, filling up in your lower stomach. “Fuck Tommy,” You laughed out breathlessly, before pulling his head back to your lips, kissing him again. Tom hummed against your lips, letting his teeth bite down onto your bottom lip, causing you to gasp.

“Like it when I kiss you like that?” He muttered back to you, pushing into your body even more against the wall, causing you to shiver at the closeness. This was your best friend, the man you fell in love with over so many years, and now hearing him talk back to you made you want to roll your head back and moan. It was incredible, being with the person you’ve loved for most of your life.

“Oh, yes,” You responded, nodding as his lips kissed down your neck. Your hips jutted up against his again, causing Tom’s cock to stir completely up into a full erection. Earlier today he wouldn’t believe this would ever happen, but now it was and fuck, he was so in love and lustful.

He bit and nibbled at your neck, causing you to whimper as he licked and smoothed sweet kisses to calm your neck down. “Tom- fuck, babe.” You moaned, as he started to grind against you in a rhythm you found addictive, pushing your hips up to meet.

“Can you believe how long I’ve wanted to do this? See you crying out my name?” He pushed out after leaving a long lick onto your neck. Your eyes widened as his dirty talk turned you on even more, causing you to feel a pulsing at your core, wanting to feel even more of him.

“I wanted you like this too,” You confessed, out of breath as you slid a hand between your bodies, underneath his shirt. Your hand contacted his abs, causing you to shake with delight.

“Really?” Tom retorted, grinning as he gazed back at you as sweat started to pull at his forehead. You nodded back to him as he continued to dry hump against you. “Then show me.” He taunted, causing you to furrow your eyebrows before tugging his head back to yours again. You harshly bit onto his lip, swirling your tongue out after a moment while your other hand curled near his pants, cupping his hard on.

Tom gasped into the kiss as you started to unzip his jeans, making him groan against your lips. You grinned, loving the way he made those sounds, “Mm, pretty boy,” You mumbled, letting your lips disconnect, as you made your way to his ear. Tom clenched one of his fists up against the wall as you pecked messy kisses into his ear and tried pushing his pants lower.

He helped you out, but shivered as you moaned into his ear, “I’ve dreamed of you begging,” You paused, whispering now against his skin, under his ear and onto his neck, “Asking for my wet pussy,” Another pause.

Tom’s face was more than red at this point, as he realized his wishes were granted to him, and he thanked everything around him, but most importantly you in his head. “And hm, do you know who made me wet?” You murmured, grinning widely as you peeked at his face.

“I- I do.” Tom responded, instantly losing all his confidence as you slid your hand underneath his boxers. You licked your lips as your eyes widened, getting a feeling of his girth. Feeling excited, but still playful, you continued your talking, “Who is it? Is it my pretty boy?” You murmured to him, sliding your hand up and down while lightly gripping his cock, giving him a loose hand job to work him up.

“Y-yes, fuck Y/n.” He panted out, head rolling to the side as his legs started to go weak. You grinned even more, before pulling your hand away and grasping his stomach again. He groaned, pushing his hips forward and meeting your center again, as you wrapped your legs tight around him once more.

“You’re a fucking tease,” He cried out, as you bit his ear, moaning. You sighed out again, watching as his eyes fluttered at the feeling of your breath against his skin. “And you know what happens to teasers?” He continued, stuttering as you grinded down against him again. Fuck, he was pounding hard, and he needed to tug the rest of his jeans off.

“What happens?” You questioned back with an innocent tone. Tom pulled you off the wall without a second for you to process that he was kissing you now. You blinked momentarily before responding, wrapping your arms fully around the back of his neck to support yourself more. Tom grunted as he swung you around, licking at your lips as you let out a soft happy sigh.

He carried you across his room, still not to the bed, and instead to his bean bag chair. He moved his head away from yours, breathing heavily with lust doped eyes, “Get off,” He whispered to you, causing your arms to collapse and you grinned, falling back onto the chair. You sunk into it, and almost wanted to laugh at the size, but your attention was all on Tom, your best friend. You weren’t sure what else to call him, because you knew no matter what was happening now, he would always be your best friend, and you’d love to be with him any type of way, whether that be as friends or more.

“Well when you tease someone, darling, you should always expect it back.”

You felt the air leave your body as he slowly stripped his jeans off, leaving him in his boxers and shirt. You tried not to stare, but well, it was hard (both not staring and his clothed cock). Fuck, you gulped as Tom started to peel his shirt away, tossing it to one of the corners of the room. You quickly glanced that way as you noticed you started to feel shy.

Damnit, not the time to feel that way, but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to be perfect for him, he was the one you’ve loved for so long, one you’ve wanted for so long. You wanted to lay flawlessly for him, kiss him as he wanted, just make him happy, but you really wanted to just fuck him in the moment. Were you really into that “making love” thing? Where was the love if you would just sit and take his cock and not cum? Love and passion were two things that fit great together, and your shyness was threatening your desire to fuck Tom out of his mind.

Just as Tom finished taking his boxers off, he noticed your facial expression and instantly paused. “Y/n,” He started, whispering down to you almost nervously, “I- what’s wrong?” He asked, stuttering, wondering if he’d done something bad. He instantly started to swear himself out in his head as you glanced up to him with that smile of yours, the one he’d always recognize.

“I’m sorry…” You trailed off, groaning as you contemplated what to say. It was hard, you wanted to be everything for him, but you didn’t know what his everything was. He didn’t know yours either. You both needed to find out somehow though.

“What do you,” You cleared your throat, gazing up at Tom as he ran a hand through his hair nervously. “What do- what are things you enjoy, or your kinks?” You mumbled out, scratching your leg as an odd habit as Tom furrowed his eyebrows.

“My kinks?” He repeated, as his gazed ran over your figure again. You nodded back, stretching back onto the bean bag chair as your arousal pounded with lust and restlessness. You could smell the sweat already, what it would be like to feel his skin against yours everywhere, how he’d pound into you and whisper things you’d beg to hear again.

Tom kneeled close to you, biting his lip as his hand reached out for your chin, tilting your head closer to his. “I like hearing everything, I like when I hear pleading,” He paused, gulping as your eyes flickered down to his lips. “I want to see you squirm with my hand around your neck,” He stopped as your lips parted in surprise and want.

“As long as you’re okay with that.” Tom whispered after a moment. You instantly nodded, pushing yourself up and kissing him again. Fuck, even though this was the first day of kissing him, you knew that you’d never get enough of it, always wanting more. His lips were something you adored for years, and now you can finally feel them, know their language, and you loved every bit of it. Your lips separated as his tongue slid onto your bottom lip.

“I love you so much,” You mumbled between the messy kisses as Tom fully started to move on top of you, onto the bean bag chair. Tom grunted into the kiss as you wiggled around while pulling him closer to you. “I love you too,” He sighed out, pulling away from your lips momentarily to gaze back at you, smiling.

“Take off your shirt, I want to see you.” He whispered, sliding his hand underneath the front of your shirt, feeling your skin against his palm. His eyes fluttered close as you grinded up again against his cock. You whimpered as he retaliated, pinching your skin. You rushed your hands to your shirt, tugging it off with Tom’s help.

You both broke the kiss as you tossed the shirt over your head, in a rush. Before you could kiss him again, Tom’s hand lingered over your bra, speaking up, “Wait, what are your kinks? What are you comfortable with?” His breath was hitting you again, as you blinked back surprised, he asked. You felt your breath hitch from his hand.

“I um, I like it when you touch me- anywhere. Fuck- it’s just your hands are just hot,” You rambled, feeling your cheeks heat up. Tom smirked at your comment, pushing his hand down onto your bra again, causing you to sputter out a quiet moan.

“Why did we never do this before now?” He questioned, as he brought his other hand behind your back, lifting you up slightly. His fingers curled around the bra as you shuddered at the feeling, shaking your head, “I’m not sure, but I’m happy we are now.”

Tom smiled back to you, before kissing you again. His lips were hot against yours, warming your whole body as you felt your underwear dampen even more. You felt as though you two continued to sink into the bean bag and you grunted, wanting even more. “Fuck,” You gasped out, as Tom finally undid your bra completely and pinch at your skin again.

You shrugged out of the bra, causing him to gaze in awe, “You’re so beautiful,” He whispered. You sighed as he placed one hand onto a breast, squeezing it. “Tom,” You began, as you started to feel as though you couldn’t take it any longer. You needed him; it was bad.

“Please-” You cut yourself off with a gasp as he trailed his fingers down your stomach lightly, sliding it to your pants. Fuck, when you looked down, you felt everything heat up, seeing him clench his fist around the buckle to your belt, tugging it off. “Please what, darling?” He asked back.

“I need you now. In me.” You whined, lifting your hips up to take off your pants and to be closer to Tom. He raised his eyes back to you, shaking his head, “Mm, no, I’m going to savor this.” He murmured back, teasingly. You groaned, but quickly quieted down as Tom unzipped your pants, leading you closer to him. Your panties snapped against your skin as he slid his fingers near the elastic.

“I want to taste you,” Tom paused, whispering as he stood back up. You glanced down to his cock again and licked your lips, just imagining what he would taste like, since he brought it up. But the idea excited you even more, pooling wetness near your thighs now as you slipped off your pants smoothly and standing up close to him. “While you scream my name,” He finished up, pulling you close as your eyes widened.

“Fuck Tommy,” You responded, instantly leaning up to kiss him again. Oh, it felt so good to be bare against him, to feel his heat and fuck- his cock hitting against your stomach as well. He pushed you back against the bed finally, and you collapsed with a sigh as he dug his fingers into your thighs. You let out a whimper as his fingers trailed closer to your panties.

Tom let out a chuckle, watching you shiver, before he bit onto the cloth, tugging your panties down completely with the help of you lifting your hips up into the air, and with his hands. “Woah…” He breathed out, seeing your glimmering wet pussy. You gazed down at him with need, gasping as he blew air close to your hood.

His sweet lips found their way to one of your inner thighs, pecking your skin softly. His fingers twirled around on the other thigh, as he groaned, listening to your heavy breathing. His kisses became slower, and messier, leaving a trail of spit as he lingered closer to your center, breathing into you.

And finally, his lips collided with your core. You gasped, instantly rushing your hands to the back of his head, tugging on his curls. Your back arched as his tongue lapped long and fast stripes against you, leaving you no time to stop the loud cry of his name. Tom smirked against you, finding joy in your moans, and lapped his tongue against your clit over again, pressing hard.

You yelped, crying out again as one of his fingers urged into you, curling and soaking in your heat. “Fuck, you’re- how is your tongue so good?” You rambled out, tugging his head up momentarily to see his face.

Oh shit, it was covered in your slick, and you cried out again feeling him slip and stretch another finger into your pussy. Tom smiled before letting his tongue out, teasing you once more as he licked your outer lips now, instead of your clit. He headed towards your labia, carefully pressing slow kisses again.

“You taste so fucking delicious,” Tom paused, murmuring now against your clit. You moaned aloud from the vibrations it sent through your nerves. You couldn’t believe you were here now, with his head between your thighs, loving and admiring you so much.

“Bet you taste even better.” You responded, watching as Tom glanced back up to you, grinning. His eyes were darker than you’ve ever seen before, and you loved seeing this side of him now finally. “I think I can sit here and eat you out for hours. Everything about you is addicting.” He finished up, raising his eyebrows back to you as you whimpered at the thought.

You didn’t even have time to warn him about your orgasm, it rushed out of you, gushing against Tom’s lips and fingers as he licked you up again. “Tom- fuck- oh my,” You choked out, raising your hips against his face as his other hand grasped around your hip, digging into your skin. You came onto his face, causing him to soak it all up with his tongue, groaning at the taste in delight.

Your head hit back against the pillows again as you dropped your body completely, feeling as if you were floating. “That was,” Tom cut you off, kissing your hip slightly, “Perfect, absolutely perfect.” You let out a laugh, just in disbelief that you were finally with him, in the way you wanted. You shifted slightly, still feeling the effects of your orgasm drift through your body as Tom laid back next to you, kissing your shoulder gently.

You giggled quietly, “Yeah, it was great.” Tom smiled back to you, as you rolled to face him, kissing his nose for a quick second. As you gazed back at Tom, you instantly were reminded of his throbbing cock, as it hit against your stomach, making you gasp. You pulled him in for a deep kiss, causing him to groan, and stumble on top of you.

“I’m ready, are you?” You mumbled through the kisses, pulling and tugging at his hair. Your legs spread wider, gasping again when you felt him pull away from the kisses completely, as his cock barely brushed against your heat. “I am,” Tom responded, smiling back to you as his face softened. His hand grasped your face gently, as he propped himself up above you, lining his cock to your pussy.

“I love you so much,” He whispered, brushing his thumb to your lips briefly, before his entire hand drifted down towards your inner shoulder. Your eyes gazed up to his before you smiled back, “I love you too,” You mumbled back.

Tom started to push his cock in slowly, gazing back to you to check if you were alright, and you gasped as you felt his girth. “Oh…” You let out, furrowing your eyebrows together in surprise before you felt him push all the way into you. He grunted, before pulling back, to start his pace, “Are you okay, darling?” He asked softly, as he saw your face.

You nodded back to him, wiggling your hips, “Please keep going,” You responded, causing Tom to breathe in deeply, holding back his moan. You grinned back to him as his fingers caressed against your throat. You nodded back to his silent question, if it was alright for him to put his hand around your neck, as he slowly pushed in again, and you started to get used to the feeling.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper than before and you instantly let out a moan, feeling the heat build up in you again, during his rhythm. Your attention went back down to his hand, sighing as he grasped around your neck, fuck. You loved it so much, as he started to strengthen his hold, he kissed you again, as he pounded into you.

You kissed him back, groaning as his fist tightened again, and he pulled away from your lips, now going towards your cheek and leaving sloppy kisses. His other hand drifted in between the two of you, finding your clit again, and started to rub harshly causing you to gasp and moan out his name.

“You like that, huh? Louder.” Tom spoke up, gazing back to you in lust and desire, pounding into you even harder now. You gasped his name in return, moaning as you felt his fingers around your throat. Your head tossed back against the pillow, and you breathed in slowly against his hand, blinking dazed and in amazement. You almost felt too out of it, as airflow was limited now, but it felt good still.

Tom didn’t stop moving motions on your clit either, as his pounding started to go into an unsteady pace. He pulled away from your cheek and his hand away from your neck, now gripping at your hips harshly, groaning again. You shuddered as you felt him go even deeper than before and hitting your g-spot again. “I’m going to cum again,” You quivered out, feeling a tear run down your face from the rush of your orgasm building up, and Tom huffed back, grinning down to you.

“I’m going to as well,” He responded, eyes locked down onto your expression as his fingers started to go even faster, rubbing at your clit. “You’re doing so good darling.” Tom continued, praising you as his cock soaked in your pussy. You clenched around him, crying his name again, and bringing his face back to yours, kissing him again. You could taste your cum from before too, and Tom groaned into the kiss, as your legs squeezed around his figure.

You started to quiver as your orgasm pushed over the edge, and you gasped against his lips, losing your grip. “I’m co-” You couldn’t even warn him as you came out quickly, causing you to yell out his name, eyes fluttering closed as Tom continued to push into you.

It felt unreal, how the day had gone. With Tom above you, coming right after you and whispering his love for you. It made you want to scream into a pillow with joy, but you couldn’t find yourself letting go of Tom’s figure as he dropped besides you with that smile. You didn’t know what else to do but to hold onto him like you’ve been doing your whole life. He’s your best friend, and now perhaps a lover, a scenario you played in your head during daydreams for fun, but it’s real now. Your head tucked into his neck, as the both of you laid on the bed, sweating and covered in each other’s cum.

“Hey, Buzz,” You paused, barely mumbling his nickname while giggling. Tom gazed back down to you with a love doped expression, “Yeah, Matilda?” He answered, laughing along with you. His laugh made you beam even more with a happiness you couldn’t compare to any. You shifted slightly, capturing his gaze as his laugh quieted down. Your hand drifted up to his face, cupping his cheek softly as the words poured out from your lips.

“I really do love you.”

In a few quiet moments after, his lips rested against your forehead, “I’ll love you forever,” He confessed, closing his eyes as sleepiness rolled between the two of you. A hum went through your lips in agreement, cuddling closer to him as your breathing settled, fluttering your eyes shut with a smile.

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader insert #tom holland/reader #tom holland/you #tom holland x reader smut

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probably-haven · 3 years

Text

Spoilers Galor ...... it is time.... for me to do what ive been considering for quite some time

this is my arguement... on why, whether romantically or platonically, i think you should ship or bro-ship,...... Childe.... and Albedo

HERE ME OUT I SWEAR PLEASE IT MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD- JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE! rarepair shipping is painful- join me

OR DONT EVEN IF YOU DONT WANT TO GIVE THE SHIP A CHANCE I DO A LOT OF ANALYSIS ON ALBEDO AND CHILDE’S CHARACTERS INDIVIDUALLY, AS WELL AS THE FATUI, THEYRE METHODS, AND THE RELATION WITH MONDSTADT- AND OTHER STUFF- just- if you like reading different analysis-es of the game or ship material or anything-

please just consider skimming it possibly-

so for the first section of my argument, i will cover why this is a largely feasible possibility, so let’s set the stage

- Childe is from Snezhnaya, and he is shown to have a large amount of ties to his home, including but not limited to; his family, ice fishing, and just a large number of nostalgic references in his voice lines.

- Because of this it’s a pretty common occurrence that he finds himself feeling homesick, as with many of the other Fatui.

- This is why he, like many of the other Fatui, so frequently visit and camp within Dragonspine, where the cold snowy atmosphere serves to remind them of home and the things they left behind.

- also in his birthday letter, it says he canonically visits Dragonspine, but explaining it this way gives it feeling

- so considering that he would be in Dragonspine relatively often, and given the large number of Fatui camps in there regardless, it’s pretty clear he’d have heard of Albedo. So onto Albedo (unfortunately i wasnt there for his event so i dont have as much fuel, but it is what it is)

- there’s a few things that need to be asked first- It’s pretty clear that Albedo must have some interaction with the Fatui given the sheer number of them that camp in Dragonspine. Evidentially, he’s still alive so the question is why? and there’s a few possible explanations for this.

- He just sneaks around a lot or avoids them (this i think is unlikely, as it would limit his actions while conducting experiments as well as the places where he’d be able to conduct them, which isn’t a big deal, but when there are other options I don’t think this is the one he’d pick) - He just pulls a traveler and kills them (i don’t think he would do this except for as a last resort, he’s rather disconnected from any sense of empathy yes, but his time is better spent elsewhere. If it comes to that, it comes to that and he will, but he wouldn’t do it as his first option) (also i dont use geo characters much so idk how good he’d be at breaking their shields in this case) - The Fatui don’t bother or attack him out of their own choice

- i think the third is the most likely, which sounds dumb but hear me out.

- something that is stressed time and time again during the mondstadt archon quest is the fact that nobody wants to increase the always present strain on diplomatic relations between Mondstadt and Snezhnaya. - Sure the Fatui do not care very much about this and have many ways to get around this. Signora attacking Venti (technically not a diplomat, and by disappearing she had plausible deniability; traveler’s words against her own, and really both traveler and Venti weren’t supposed to survive that, hence “leave no trace”), or the Fatui constantly attacking the traveler, (who’s canonically travelling alone with only Paimon, always on the move and encountering many unfamiliar dangers, not hard to clear up) - However despite this, I still believe that Albedo’s safety(and by extent that of Sucrose and Timeus) on Dragonspine is maintained by a mixture of political agreement, situational convenience, and Albedo’s own actions

- its difficult for this to work but i believe it’s the most likely answer, combining all three possibilities that i mentioned above. - Albedo is an official Knight of Favonius, so his death would cause a pretty dramatic commotion, and since he’s been in Dragonspine for as long as he has, if he was found dead outside of his lab- or suddenly disappeared, the first person to blame would be the Fatui.

- “But Flurp! what about the stuff you mentioned earlier, with Senora’s attack and the Fatui always going after the traveler?”

- context is key. The traveler is a traveler, and Venti was a necessity to achieve their goal. The traveler is also a huge threat to what they are trying to do, since the Fatui have probably heard of their accomplishments. Them attacking Venti was inevitable, no matter the strain it would cause. The fact that the traveler was there as well was merely coincidence in my opinion

- again “leave no trace” means the intent was that both the Traveller and Venti weren’t meant to survive. This is important because if the traveler disappeared, they would have vanished shortly after finishing what they had to do in mondstadt and thered be no reason to suspect anything had happened to them, just that they had moved onto Liyue.

- Venti would pose risk, but again, the pros outweighed any risk it could have posed to their relations.

- with the Fatui regularly attacking the Traveler, again, that’s easy to clear up and would be difficult to pin on the Fatui, assuming how long it would take to realize they were gone (because despite helping so many people, its still natural to assume they’ve just travelled elsewhere)

- Albedo on the other hand, is technically a legal official, because of his high rank in the knights. He is also only ever really found in Dragonspine and Mondstadt the city. And he is well familiar with the dangers of Dragonspine, so if he were to die there it would be assumed to be either at the hands of the Fatui, or one of his own experiments.

- Thus attacking him is very high risk(unlike the traveler), and since he has nothing to do with their plans, low reward(unlike Venti).

- So most likely he doesn’t needlessly interact with the Fatui, but should an experiment need to expand into the space of one of their camps, it’s likely he would need some kind of documentation to do so. At the same time, Albedo himself would also not be able to harm the Fatui who frequent the mountain. I TOOK WAY TO LONG TO EXPLAIN THAT UGGGGHHHHHHH anyways

- So set the stage, Childe is visiting Dragonspine, right? And he hears from whichever Fatui Camp he happens to stop in about the one Knight of Favonius that they keep seeing around Dragonspine, the one who just last week came to them with a stack of documents saying they would have to move their camp, it’s annoying but they have orders not to attack him.

- and then there’s Childe, who’s been living in Liyue, surrounded by people who basically fear Dragonspine as if its some kind of deadzone, and he just assumed that for anyone not from Snezhnaya, thats exactly what it was. He assumed nobody but the Fatui would dare even visit there, let alone be there as frequently as whoever this person was.

- And he’s got to be pretty important for there to be orders not to attack him, right? - cue Childe’s unique brand of curiosity, so he asks more, apparently the fellow has a geo vision, and had been spotted taking down or even just lurking by a number of Dragonspine’s dangers as though it was merely routine - cue flashback to when he first met the traveler, instantly hesitant, hostile, and potentially even afraid towards him as soon as he realized he was Fatui, even before revealing himself as a harbinger.

- so what was it about this guy that made him so convinced he could walk into a Fatui camp alone, order them around, and still walk out alive. Even Childe could admit how underhanded the Fatui were at times, their true orders could have been anything

- He’s not just going to leave now, no. So he asks more questions and figures out that they did at one point scout out his lab while the Knight was out, and give him the location. He’s a harbinger, what are they gonna say “sorry sir, can’t tell ya” no, these bitches see him with the same amount of fear they’d have for Dotorre or Scaramouche or La Signora or any of the others- you don’t just tell a harbinger “no”

- So anyways Childe decides to check it out

- in the case that Albedo’s mid experiment in his lab when this happens, he’ll probably assume it’s a Knight, since the Fatui haven’t tried anything in quite some time and would just send off a quick “I am in the middle of an experiment right now, I would prefer not to be disturbed” - and Childe would laugh at his voice because let’s be honest, he thinks of himself as a Chad and it just sounds “weak” to him, and then the scenario leads into what would happen even if he wasnt mid-experiment

and now a look into Albedo’s perspective

- let’s assume that the Knights heard about the Traveler’s role in what happened in Liyue, since it’s kind of common knowledge that Childe was the one who did it, and the traveler doesn’t exactly try to hide that he fought Childe. So considering how often the knights and the Fatui clash, and what happened with Signora, they would likely ask the traveler about it, in order to be better prepared, and for that same reason i feel like the traveler would tell them some of it.

- so in this situation, it’s likely that Albedo would recognize him and likely know an amount of his combat abilities, and the thing with the fake seals of permission/Osial, but I don’t think the Traveler would have given told any more than that

- so here’s Albedo, surrounded by Fatui camps, knowing that he knows more about this Harbinger than the other thinks he does and assuming that Childe knows more about him himself, but just how much does he know.

- it’s the first time one of the Fatui has come to his lab in- he doesn’t know how long (other than the occasional instance of a wounded member risking the encounter in a moment of desperation. He’s observed that those who wield hydro have never been present in any of these instances, and are most likely designated as healers, but he isn’t in the best position to find out.) - and the fact that the first Fatui to come to his camp(out of anything other than necessity) is a Harbinger, is certainly very off putting, as he knows that Childe most certainly has the ability to change the orders of the Fatui around him whose cooperation with him is something that he recognizes as very fragile

- and he knows it’s unlikely, in the back of his mind he keeps recalling that this specific Harbinger is the one who resurrected a dead god for the purpose of destroying a city (flashback to the famous “if I destroy Mondstadt” line) but he reminds himself that it’s highly improbable and thus illogical to jump to that conclusion, but he is nonetheless very on edge with Childe’s presence

- However, as with the rest of the Fatui, his hands are legally tied, and unless Childe moves to attack him, any move he makes would only serve to reflect on the rest of the knights

- As such neither would attack the other in this scenario, though Childe would very much want to, and Albedo would very much be prepared to. - and both of these people are very observant (Albedo in the general sense and Childe in the ‘reading body language for combat’ sense) so both of them are completely aware of that, though Albedo would probably acknowledge that it may just be a result of his own paranoia

- However, unless Childe has orders otherwise, he tends to approach interactions with a more amiable attitude, extending his hand and introducing himself as “Childe,” less flamboyant than normal, because yes he’s extra, but not an idiot, he’s not gonna say “hey girlie, hold still” when the guy obviously has his hand tensed like that, “discretely” ready to reach for whats assumed to be a weapon, a melee one based on the position, sword or polearm probably

- Albedo, isn’t really one for pleasantries though, he has a number of things he still needs to do, and he does not want this Harbinger in or nearby his camp. “I’m aware” he says, giving his full attention, so as not to be caught off guard, and to get this over as quickly as possible. “I assume you have some purpose behind this visit. I am rather busy at the moment, so i would prefer that we keep this interaction brief.”

- and Childe is a little shit who still doesn’t know how to associate violence and hostility with any kind of bad vibes so he just laughs and holds up his hands “relax relax, I’m not here on business, no need to be on edge, right?”

- But Childe has a tendency while speaking to, knowingly or unknowingly, give his words a rather ominous tone. That and the fact that Albedo is in his lab, one of few places in Dragonspine where any misfortune that might befall him could be pinned on his own experiments keeps him from letting down his guard just yet.

HOWEVER i cant do dialogue... and this isn’t technically a fanfiction so i can summarize-

- Childe is basically all like “so why the shit are you in dragonspine comrade? i thought yall hated it”

- and albedo is all “experiments and this is where my lab is, is ” but like- not key details cuz he isnt going to reveal stuff to the fatui

-and Childe basically be like “ why up here, isnt there other places,” cuz he legit doesn’t get it. He gets that his mindset isn’t the norm, so he’d assume Albedo would want to do anything to avoid Dragonspine and its dangers like what seems to be the norm for what most people hes interacted with have generally agreed

- and Albedo says some flowery words for like oh “In the pursuit of knowledge if one allows themselves to be dissuaded by potential dangers, then they will find it quite difficult to progress beyond that which is already known”

- which, is important cuz it reflects Childe’s mindset on getting stronger, so he’s like yeah, checks out, and being the extroverted shit he is, he has the guts to ask “aren’t you gonna ask why im in dragonspine?” or something because honestly he likes talking about himself, and thats a topic that doesnt have to do with the fatui so it’s an easy way to make conversation.

- and Albedo, who has by now slightly relaxed just enough to resume preparing the experiment he was preparing before Childe came in. and all passive aggressively is like “The same as the rest of the Fatui, most likely. Now if you don’t mind I do have a number of experiments to conduct and I’m afraid it can get rather dangerous, so it would be best that you take your leave now”

- and Childe gets the message that he’s essentially being told to fuck off but he’s also cheeky as shit and absolutely loves to test his luck so he’d be all “I thought you said not to be dissuaded by potential dangers” sounding all proud of himself for using the other’s words against him

- and Albedo doesn’t have time for this so he just turns back towards Childe, same tone and same face as before, and repeats “it would best that you take your leave”

- Now Childe doesn’t see this as a challenge persay, but he sees how easily it can turn into one, and speaks the two cliche words “make me”

- but Albedo is also a little shit and just turns to resume his experiment, letting out a sigh “Stay if you’d like. I didn’t consider this possibility but I may have to request my lab be made off limits to the Fatui. A shame, I didn’t plan to return to Mondstadt for quite some time”

- and Childe, he’s decently smart- and he knows a number of things, 1 the other harbingers are gonna be pissed if they find out he caused more work for them again, 2 this individual is interesting and he very much wants the opportunity to fight them in the future, and 3 he’s not involved in politics and should Albedo follow through, the Harbingers wouldn’t give 2 shits if he asked them to try and get the change reversed.

- and so he leaves, but he’ll be back

- Albedo’s threat may have given him the upper hand for now, but it also served as a challenge he wouldn’t forget. - of course it’s not really that big a deal though, just if he’s ever in Dragonspine again and there’s nothing nearby to kill, he’d keep it in mind, and hey, best case scenario he can get more information to contribute to the Fatui

OKAY

- so now that Childe is gone and Albedo is able to reflect on the interaction, at first he’s just relieved nothing bad happened

- within the following day he reflects once again, deciding that the Harbinger most likely wasn’t lying about his intentions, he truly did seem seem to merely have been curious as he had claimed

- in hindsight he also realizes that conversing with him may also allow him to confirm or deny a number of the theories he had on the Fatui, or perhaps raise more questions for him to look into that he had not yet considered... or at least it could as long as he was careful about how he asked.

- AND THUS there a few more meetings, many are purely conversational, each trying to get knowledge from the other while being fully aware that the other is trying to do the same - not the type of battle Childe is used to, and it does get boring at times, but it’s all part of the game so he persists

- and eventually, as Albedo recognizes this as a regular thing, he begins enlisting Childe’s help in a number of experiments. Just figuring that since he’s doing an experiment and Childe is there regardless, it’s the most efficient option. That and it keeps the more dangerous questions to a minimum, often redirecting the questions towards alchemy, a much safer topic that he does not need to step so carefully around in order to discuss.

- There comes a point where Childe decides to point out the fact that Albedo most often has him help out with combat-requiring aspects of his experiments, and questions why

- Albedo, figuring it was obvious, reminds him of the conversation a few visits ago, where Childe mentioned his drive to get stronger, and(to requote) said that if he didn’t feel these opponents were sufficient to increase Childe’s strength, he could always bring in a couple Oceanids to fight. He then points out afterwards that ruin guards are a bit easier to fight with a bow

- Mixed responses from Childe including but not limited to - quickly refusing in the language of hydro vision panic, followed quickly by - oh, so he’s been trying to help this whole time, to- - how the fuck would he bring Oceanids to Dragonspine, is that even possible? - followed by curiosity

- and so he brings up the point that he’s never seen Albedo fight, which is a shame. “If you can’t take them down on your own just say so, no need to make excuses.” because heck yeah he’s going to taunt him, I mean this is Childe

- which of course Albedo returns with “If you want to see me in combat, follow your own advice” because of course, by now he knows about Childe’s combat obsession, like you don’t need to know him that long to figure it out, its kind of obvious.

- but he recognizes the intention, so he finishes what he’s doing checking what he needs for his future plans before exiting the lab, Childe following behind him, eager to see his future opponent in action

- so albedo goes to a ruin guard/grader/hunter(one of those), because otherwise it’s hilichurls or abyss mages and he knows enough to be able to tell that’s not exactly the kind of opponent Childe meant, and he would prefer not to have the topic brought up again, if he knew how to avoid it.

- so Childe stands back and Albedo, who is well accustomed to having to defeat the enemies in Dragonspine in order to get components for his alchemy knows exactly how to kill this bitch cuz honestly, the number of these guys he’s probably killed for research purposes is astronomical, so it’s done rather quickly and methodically, as if just another part of routine, exactly the way that it had been described when Childe was first asking the Fatui at that one camp about the alchemist.

- And that interest/intrigue that had started in the side of Childe’s mind and grew over time into one of the reasons(tho not the main reason) that he would often go to Dragonspine... it multiplied exponentially

- cue a few more visits and a new turning point occurs

Klee

- Childe comes to visit, and upon arriving at the lab he sees a child

- cue Childe approaching again, amiable grin on is face “and who’s this young lady” - because it’s literally canon that he’s good with kids

.....

- but Klee isn’t any kid

- and Klee was there for the briefing so she has just as much information on Childe as any of the other higher ranking knights - and only that much information

- a short time later they’re cleaning up the scattered remains of what was Albedo’s last experiment, lucky that the explosion was set off near the entrance so the damage wasn’t too extensive

- “Please don’t tell Master Jean, Dodocco said he was sorry”

- Cue Childe’s “I’m not a bad guy... okay I’m kind of a bad guy” quote - “but I mean no harm, I’m a friend of Albedo’s”

- and Albedo’s standing there like when I agree to that but he wants to see how this plays out

- and I’m really unfamiliar with Klee’s characterization, but you get the point Childe is canonically god at kids, he’s gonna learn that Klee’s basically Albedo’s little sister, Klee’s gonna get attached to him and remind him of his siblings back home, Childe’s interaction with Klee is basically what gets Albedo to start actually somewhat trusting Childe as opposed to just using him from a metaphorical distance and subtly helping in ways that wouldnt really negatively impact the knights

- and now that hes no longer actively distrustful his mind is more open to actually becoming attached, as he now begin to recognize that that which he initially believed to be mere manipulation tactics was actually just... Childe being genuine, or as genuine as a person can be in their situation

OKAY OKAY OKAY NOW THAT ALL THAT IS ESTABLISHED I CAN GET INTO THE DYNAMIC

- so theres the obvious things i already mentioned, like their mutual extreme drive to improve in their respective fields that separates them from others, even within their own respective groups/organizations which already(to an extent) separate their members from most others

now lets talk about this point specifically

- both Childe and Albedo are capable of helping each other grow in their respective fields.

- two things that have the potential to cause Childe trouble and lessen his combat ability and the problems with his delusion and his foul legacy transformation

- these two things are things likely unlike anything that Albedo has been able to study before (tho delusions he might have some experience with- but it’s unlikely) and it would likely be able to expand his knowledge, were he given the opportunity to experiment them, while simultaneously helping childe improve his strength

HOWEVER

- both of them know just how fragile the relationship(whatever it is) between them is, how quickly tensions can shift and orders can change, so in order to protect both the other and themselves they both understand that actually going through with this wouldn’t truly be safe and both sides could get in trouble for it

- because no matter what they do there will always be a constantly present risk hanging over their heads, but ill come back to that

- Dragonspine - in a lot of Albedo ships, the other character has to go through the effort of going to Dragonspine, which tends to serve as an obstacle for the relationship to be overcome (exception of sucrose and... idk do people ship him with Timeus? just in case, recognizing them both as potential exceptions) - However, in the case of Childe, who legitimately enjoys coming to Dragonspine, he wouldn’t hesitate to visit Albedo - with most it becomes “wow, i haven’t seen Albedo in a while, gee, i wish he’d come down the mountain, nonetheless i am a good lover so i shall make the harsh trek to see my beloved” - with this bitch Childe tho it’s more like “oops, feelin’ homesick, Imma see how Albedo’s doing, hope he’s made progress, wonder if Klee will be there” or “Wow I haven’t seen Albedo in awhile. Finna finish up these fatui duties real quick and head over, if i say im checking on the Fatui stationed there, I dont even have to ask to go on leave” (he gets in trouble for not officially asking for a day off anyways)

-anywho, Childe is largely used to interacting with the Harbingers, who always seem to have some other secret second layered plan of sorts that he’s not always informed about (ex: him being intended to fail when he summoned Osial, but being kept in the dark about it), which conflicts with Childe’s relatively straight forward nature - Albedo also possesses the potential to be similar, however he doesn’t often see the need for such things, preferring to be frank about his goals and expectations, so unlike with his fellow harbingers, Childe knows that when Albedo tells him something or asks something of him, what he’s being told is usually exactly what actually is true/intended. And if it’s not, Albedo is the kind of person to explain that it’s something he can’t tell him, which he understands, since he has his own share of things he cant share because of his Fatui alignment.

- there is going to be an interaction where at some point Childe is rambling about his family back home, and Albedo questions him about what they look like, a few days later handing him a surprisingly accurate drawing of his siblings - “I did have to try to check appearance with the traveler but unfortunately they weren’t in Mondstadt, do I do hope there aren’t too many inaccuracies” - Homeboy doesn’t cry(probably) but he gets really fucking close - cue socially isolated Alchemist boy misunderstanding and trying to apologize, which Childe responds to by just hugging him- because both of these boys are touch starved and honestly they fucking need it.

- and now that Childe knows Albedo doesn’t actually have a significant boundary on physical affection, as with most Childe ships... it happens a lot

- headcanon that Childe tends to just lean/rest his head on things like a dog. - additional headcanon that Albedo tends to have a need to keep his hands busy at all times - so just cue the scene where Albedo is working on experiments as usual, Childe watching from behind with his head rested on his shoulder and Albedo just absentmindedly playing with his hair with one hand while the other continues with his work

- also talking with Albedo gives Childe a a lot of harmless fun facts and he loves rubbing it in they’re faces when he gets to correct one of the other harbingers on something because of this

- Albedo does also have a tendency to overthink things though, and Childe’s more straight forward mindset gives a new perspective that helps him work around issues more often than he would have expected

- Also Albedo’s love language is totally words of affirmation (i will die on this hill, he doesn’t even realize he does it probably). So he wouldn’t hesitate to sincerely thank or praise Childe whenever he helps or does something good. And Childe is a Fatui, most of the praise he gets is from the subordinates who admire him yes, but also lowkey highkey fear him, and especially after all of Liyue knows he summoned Osial basically, he is pretty damn starved for affirmation and praise and wouldn’t even notice just how much until Albedo gave that to him. - like Childe is over here melting into a puddle of fluff and Albedo probably wouldn’t even realize what he’s doing, he’s just stating his observations out loud

- Childe and Albedo making a pinkie promise, Childe does the little Snezhnayan chant, and Albedo’s gaze just shifts slowly towards the nearby frozen lake in intense concern

- They go ice fishing with Klee who introduces Childe to fish blasting and it’s a whole new world of possibilities now. Albedo has many regrets.

- the harbingers have all basically figured it out by now and are concerned about security but mostly they just mock him for it - the Fatui stationed in Dragonspine however, probably know because 1 they’ve seen Childe with Albedo almost every time he visits, and Childe brags about it regularly - at this point a majority of them ship it and needless to say Albedo’s risk of death via Fatui has gone down significantly, and it’s had a surprisingly positive benefit on relations between the knights and Fatui overall

- the Knights took a bit longer to catch on, since Albedo isn’t exactly in Mondstadt all that often, but it’s the city of freedom, what are they gonna do? say no? again, they are concerned about security risks, but trust Albedo to recognize what should be withheld.

- also its canon that Childe enjoys cooking, and Albedo has a line about like... let me look it up rq- It’s his “Least Favorite Food” line which talks about how he doesn’t eat at restaurants cuz he has a small appetite and doesn’t want to waste food, which is unfortunate cuz then he has to spend time making his own food - idk its kind of small but i just saw it and thought it was kind of a cute detail

- Childe is a chaotic bean and we love him for it - on the other hand Albedo is more calm and patient, able to put up with this, and realistically, he has enough experience with Klee to not accidentally put him out or down or otherwise dampen his natural personality...... it’s just when the two of them get together that Albedo experiences true fear.

- Albedo: I have an idea for an experiment but the Jean has suggested that the risk is- - Childe: you should do it! - Albedo: -that the risk is too great and has disallowed me from continuing it - Childe: Oh? well she can’t tell me not to it, now can she? - Both: *mutual gremlin noises*

anyway... im probs gonna add more to this later.... I’m just really bad at coming up with ship dynamics- so my main point in this is to get people to realize that it possible and that it could work- because there is... nearly 0 material on it- and i just think it has the potential to be so wonderful but I do not have the potential to make it that way. Like it has the potential for so many different dynamics and iconic moments and theres so many reasonable ways they could meet and just so many possibilities and im just really hoping to show the ship to more people because, y’know, it’s rare and i want them to suffer from the lack of content too, because I’m just a kind person like that.

i would have put it under a cut if i could, but i have no idea how to do that so... apologies...

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catboybatman · 3 years

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Rating batfam members on how likely i would win a debate on any topic:

Bruce, 6/10: i dont think i can win but i do think i can annoy the shit out of him which, to me, is a win.

Cass, 0/10 or 2/10: depends. Mute Cass? No. Neither of us will win. I dont know asl, body language or bad bitch. Speaking Cass? I think i can twist and manipulate her words but i also think thats shitty debating, ableist and dumb so i refuse. Shes smarter than me so she will win

Dick, 8/10: he's good at debating but he has anger problems which can cause him to slip up, use the wrong words or just say something he doesnt really agree with. This will make it easy for me to win but he is also smart and can probably recover after he calms down. Im not above using dirty tricks with him.

Jason, 9/10: dont fight me i will explain. Jason is very self aware but in an insecure way. He knows he isnt morally right which already puts me at an advantage. He's also emotional. He will let his anger or passion take over which will make make him slip up at one point. He will let his own opinions and biases muddy his facts which will allow me to clap back with facts so hard he will be in his second grave. Hes too busy explaining why the Mr Darcy hand stretch is peak cinema he doesnt notice me with my comically large hammer that is the "pirate king" scene from potc.

Steph, 2/10: steph is smarter than people give her credit for. She's an argumentative bitch and we love that about her. I think she uses dirty tricks and will trap me in my words. 1 point bc there is a chance she will just hook me in the jaw which disqualifies her. Id thank her tho

Tim, 5/10: idk i think debating wise we would be equal but he is smarter. Im more annoying so i guess that can count as a win

Duke, -10/10: he would obliterate me and make rhyme. That is all i need to say

Damian, 7/10: same problem as Jason, too emotional. Would let his emotions get in the way of facts which will allow me to attack. Depending on the subject i will be severly hurt tho so i would rather not.

Barbara, -20/10: im arrogant, not stupid. She would absolutely murder me. Jason scoot over im joining you in the grave.

Alfred, 7/10: i dont think i will actually win but i will not go down without a fight. This old man can catch these hands and these words. I am not above using dirty tricks when it comes to Alfred because i know he is using them and more. He's better than me and that gives me the right to obliterate his words. Will i win? Will i surive? Probably not. Did i go down with pride? Absolutely

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buttercupistough · 3 years

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I love a Brickercup friendship.

Literally my favourite way of interpreting the ruffs is Brick is very similar to Buttercup, just more a leader type, and they're best friends. Fiery personality all that. Butch is a little calmer in my version just cause I think it's cooler to not have him a hot head like his counterpart. He still loves a good fight, but he thinks a little more and goads people. Boomer is the dumb one sure, but he's also the one who will say the darkest shit or most twisted plans out of no where, and everyone has to just stop and look at him for a minute while he carries on.

Like for example. *anyone*: "man, the test next week is gonna be suck. I don't know how I'll get through this class.

Boomer: We should just hide some cocaine and molly around the classroom, then call the cops on her the day of the test, that way it'll get canceled. Also, wouldn't hurt to slip some stuff in her coffee that morning too, just to sell the point.

*literally everyone*: WTF Boomer!?

Boomer: what? Not believable enough?

Idk, this way they're not exact copies of the ppgs, but still ring true in some aspects (leader, fighter, ditz) (that isn't to say that's Bubbles role on the team, just that's what I'm keeping the same with Boomer and her. Also like, he's still a happy and friendly guy, it goes along with his ditzy role, he's just dark as well)

ahh this one will be a long one, so here's a pagebreak lmao

I know Butch is Buttercup’s and Brick is Blossom’s counter part BUT i think Buttercup and Brick are a lot more similar to each other!

because of that they either get along perfectly or they hate each other, it changes every week, ever day even.

Brick just likes controlling people more and has a bigger ego than Buttercup, these traits of him are, just like his leader trait, similar to Blossom

Buttercup doesn’t really care about being in charge but she won’t let people control her while Brick wants to be in charge no matter what and hates when he can’t read people

weird thing is Buttercup might be the only person Brick can’t read and Buttercup and Boomer are the only two people who can read Brick

Butch lacks common sense a little (a lot actually) and can’t read anyone… except Buttercup. He knows what every little change means, he knows what buttons to push and what’s off limits. He just knows how Buttercup is going to react so, he also can calm her down whenever he needs to

Bubbles is the same way, she just knows what Buttercup needs and can feel she is down from the other end of the world lol

Blossom can’t understand Buttercup much but she will be on her side no matter what (if she did something bad Blossom will defend Buttercup in public and handle the thing in private)

Boomer is just a cute boy, where he doesn’t need to understand people to know what to do. He somehow always does the right thing. He is a little weirdo and i love him

about Butch…

in my head Butch is calmer, i mean… compared to most people’s headcanons.

Well, not actually calmer but he doesn’t let his anger control him, he controls himself quite well. He also doesn’t get mad as easy as Buttercup or Brick (still he gets mad a lot more quickly compred to most people) but when he gets mad it lasts longer than their’s and he wilder than both of them

Let me explain like it like this; Buttercup and Brick will get mad at the smallest things but if they care about you enough they will forget about it quickly, Butch won’t. He will literally try and get back at you or he will just flat out ignore you for how long he sees fit if what you did also somehow made him feel bad.

(He actually only ignores Buttercup since he doesn’t really care about other people’s opinions of him as much as hers, he is just a dork in love)

So, he does get madder but,, he doesn’t get verbal as quickly as Buttercup and Birck, if he gets verbal at all.

i think he likes to get physical more, while Buttercup and Brick prefers verbal arguments.

So, Butch takes his anger out by hitting something or someone *cough*Boomer*cough* when no one can see him lol

therefore he seems calmer but… nah, he is actually more destructive than his counter part and brother lol

plus I think he also has similarities with Brick, so he is kinda like a combination of the two of them but wilder

in Boomer case, yes, absolutely, he says messed up stuff as if it’s normal because the poor boy thinks it is normal!

Also he is a little dense, like, if Brick pokes him secretly as if to tell him ‘be quiet’ Boomer would fully turn to him and yell ‘why are you poking me?!’ and Brick would literally lose his mind lmao

He makes it up by being a charming boi tho

I don’t mean he is pretty (although he is)

I mean he is such a smooth talker (and a good manipulator, he is not that bright but he can manipulate people pretty well) he makes up for whatever he does/did/will do

I also think people don’t really take what he say seriously or just ignore it when Boomer says something ridiculously dark because they think he is just joking

but if Brick or Butch ever say something dark in public, even as a joke, they’d get a much bigger reaction and they’d end up getting in trouble

pretty privilege really do exist

this is just a random pile of me rambling isnt it

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awigglycultist · 3 years

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Okay hatchetfield zombie apocalypse au bc why not ("but tgwdlm is a zombie apocalypse" shh no that's an alien musical apotheosis and also this is won't be the exact same as tgwdlm)

This ended up being way longer than I thought it would and also kinda ramblely (is that a word??) oops. So read the rest under the cut

Okay this takes place in 2019

Emma and Paul are together, emam ofc suggests they going to her cooky reclusive biology professor

This isn't the apocalypse Henry excepted and he doesn't like that, but hey he still prepped for an apocalypse so he's safe

Since this isn't a musical apocalypse and it'd probably be pretty hard to get money off of someone during a zombie apocalypse, so he's currently not trying to murder anyone

He let's Emma and Paul stay with him

But then Emma is like "hey you have room do you think my nephew, brother in law and his gf could stay with us? The gf's a nurse she could be helpful!!"

He eventually agrees

Then Paul's like "hey my coworkers are kid dumb asses there's know way they're surviving an apocalypse on their own can they stay with us? And also one of them has daughter and the other has a little brother (cough cough HCB) them too?"

And then Hidgens ends up agreeing to that, and then Alice and HCB are ofc both like "wait hold on our friends-" (ie: Deb, Ziggs, Grace Chasity (this would be HCB's friends not Alice's ofc), Cineplex kid (because I said so) Ethan (also Tony, my beloved) Lex and Hannah (once again, because I said so, do we seem them interact? No, but they're friends now)

And Hidgens at this point is like "well fucking fine I guess so! Bring em here we have a bunch of ppl already so why not!!"

All of these people, living under one roof (albeit a very big roof) is ofc chaos!

I'd imagine ppl kinda stay in groups a bit tho. Like the teens stay with each other for the most part. CCRP gang hangs out together most. Ect.

Still, very chaotic. The teens (really mostly Deb, Ethan and Lex) causing plenty of trouble. The adults all being dumb asses. Plenty of arguments between Bill and Ted ofc. And probably several arguments between the nerdy prudes (grace, hcb and cineplex) and the other teens. Probably one fight between Alice and Ziggs but it gets settled quickly and they figure everything out and clear the air and become good friends.

I mean you think this amount of ppl, particularly this certain group of ppl, are going to be well organized durning the apocalypse? Hell no!

Hidgens is the only one that actually understands shit about apocalypse, he's the one who prepared! (once again: although for the wrong one) so he's constantly having to be like "no we can't do that that's dangerous!!" Emma, Alice and Lex are the only other really competent ones.

Hidgens ofc spends his time trying to find a cure, Emma helps him. If life ever goes back to normal she has an automatic A in his class for the rest of college just for going through this shit and helping him.

Tom, Bill, and Tony are the dads. They're obviously dealing with the kids. But the do mainly try and focus on their own kid because... That their kid ofc they care about them the most. But they try to take care of the other kids too.

Bill has a rough time connecting with anyone besides Alice. But Grace was always nice to him church so there's that. And ofc Alice has gf, a gf he doesn't like a ton but now he's very much stuck with so he might as well try and get along with. They eventually do.

Tom ofc like I said cares most about Tim. But after him the next he cares most about are CaliforMIA gang. Lex and Ethan were his students (I know it's not confirmed that Ethan was one of students but he is now bc I want him to be), probably his favorite students, and that Lex's little sister who's only a few years older than Tim, ofc he's also gonna care a lot about them.

Tony also cares alot about Lex and Hannah, that's his son's gf and her little sister, once again, ofc he'll care about them alot too.

Becky absolutely cares about all the kids a ton!! She's a nurse who works with kids, she's very nurturing and mother like. She cares for and about them all fairly equally but Tim is her favorite because... Well that's her bf's son and she's known him the longest out of any of the kids ofc. Lex and Hannah end up loving Becky alot because she's so much kinder and sweet than their biological mother.

Before the apocalypse Ted took care of HCB, now he's still taking care of him ofc. Ted doesn't want to be taking care of any of the kids besides his brother. He wants to drink and party and stuff. I mean it's the apocalypse so why not? But he ends up taking care of Grace and Cineplex quite a bit too. This happens not bc others aren't taking care of them, they are being taken by the other plenty well (like I said the dads and Becky all care for all the kids they just have favorites) but because they see HCB going to Ted for almost everything and Ted doing stuff for/helping out HCB so they're like "well okay guess we'll go to him too" He's not happy about it. He already has to deal with his obnoxious little nerdy prude bother and now there's two more? But part of them reminds him a lot of himself when he was younger. Maybe that's why he doesn't like them, or also maybe that's why secretly likes them a ton?

Hidgens, Emma, Ted, Tom and Lex are the ones that go out most often because they're the only who are really able to fight off the zombies and stay safe a stuff (okay Ted not so much as the others but they bring him anwyay cause Henry's like "he looks like he can use gun or something" and Emma, Paul, Bill and Charlotte are all like "this is a horrible idea don't bring him" but they do anwyay. He doesn't kill any of the others so hey why not keep bringing him? Besides if something goes wrong they can use him as bait or throw him to the zombies to get them off the rest of the group /hj)

Other ppl in Hatchetfield exist of course and are out they're trying to survive. Sam and Pamela are some of the first to die that's karma bitch

Lex and Hannah were living with Pamela ofc when the apocalypse hit, the girls wanted to go somewhere safer but Pam wouldn't let them, then one day she went out and got turned into a Zombie, the girls quickly took that as their chance to escape and they went to Tony and Ethan and then ofc ended up at Hidgens'

Charlotte was with Sam before he turned into a Zombie and then when he did she ran to Ted & HCB and stayed with them before they ended up at Hidgens'

Gary and MIAH are together and trying to survive on they're own. Sylvia, Melissa, and Greenpeace Girl end up meeting each other and decide to gang up together and they're badasses. Dan and Donna are two focused on the news and finding out if Peanuts is surving (which yes, Peanuts, (as well as Papa Ed.. At least for a while) are doing fine) and they die pretty quickly. Holloway and Duke are doing great, Holloway's a witch so yeah she's good and ofc Duke is with her so he's good too.

Lucy is in Hatchetfield and she's already in the woods vibing with Chumby before the apocalypse hits (THAM doesn't happen in this universe and instead Lucy ends up finding Chumby own her own because uh??? Reasons??? Idk bc I said so) the two of them have no idea there's a zombie apocalypse. The Paul clones take this apocalypse as they're chance to escape, Paul23 leading the uprising ofc, they don't kill Paul and take his place tho, instead it's more like "there's a zombie apocalypse? Oh fuck yeah!" *escapes* "oh theres a zombie apocalypse oh no-" some try to stay in a group and live together, some try to go out their own. There's now a bunch of random Pauls and Paul zombies around town. The main gang do end up seeing the clones and they're all just kind like "uhhh wtf???" except Paul, he's absolutely freaking out, the clones kinda are just "uhh haha how do we explain this".

Spoiler alert: the world isn't destroyed. How? Not totally sure yet but probably through Hidgens managing to find a cure and time travel. Emdriod has traveled back in time to replace Emma, but oopsie she didn't travel back far enough so she can't kill Emma in Guatemala, so she goes to Hatchetfield in hopes she can kill Emma when no ones looking and just replace her then, but oh no there's apocalypse so thats a much bigger issue. She survives easily, she's strong af, doesn't need food, all that jazz. She and Emma do meet each other and it's another "wtf?" "how do I explain this?" situation. But Emdriod lies ofc and kinda explains what happened but said that she accidentally time travelled and leaves out the whole wanted to kill her part. Now the Emdriod has found Emma she does try to kill her, that's awfully hard to do tho considering Emma is literally always with a group of people, and Emdriod doesn't want to just kill Emma right in front of everyone bc then they'll all hate her and her goal isn't to just kill Emma it's too replace her. She end up giving up and she runs into Paul 23 and they bond of my doubles of someone and wanted to kill that somoen at first and then fall in love and kill zombies together :)

Ohh uhh other ships: Paulkins, Lexthan, Barneston, Potseed (Alice x Deb) ofc. Charted, Obnoxious Teens (HCB x Cineplex Kid) oh and ofc Holloduke. Uhh Bill x being okay for once, Ted x probably not dying for once (not too sure about that one yet) Hidgens x not actually trying to murder someone for once

Wait wait I just got idea: the zombie apocalypse occurs BECAUSE of Hidgens, he tries too bring back the working boys (remember his original backstory with accidentally killing them and stuff??)

Okay I think that's all I got for now

#starkid #hatchetfield #tgwdlm #black friday #nightmare time

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