#if any of my posts ever go viral let it be this one

[anim-ttrpgs]

Wait does Eureka have its own established lore for how different supernatural creatures work?

Yes, it does!

(I’m going to preface this post by saying that just about everything I’m talking about here, and more, is available FOR FREE for you to read in the free pre-release version of the Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy rulebook that you can download from our website. Go to Chapter 8 to start reading about the supernatural lore. The rulebook itself will do a lot better job of explaining all this than I will, because it has the exact details of how each one works, and I’m just hitting the highlights and going over what those details mean.)

Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is a game about very human and believable investigators digging into dangerous (often supernatural) mysteries way over their heads, and sometimes those very human and believable investigators will be supernatural creatures themselves.

These supernatural creatures are every bit as human and “normal” as their mundane investigators counterparts, they have jobs, friends, families, hobbies, etc. They live among mundane society, not outside of it.

Most modern fantasy settings have some kind of separation between normal society and magical society, like you see in Harry Potter where there is normal society, and then a separate, secret magical society hidden away from it, or Vampire: The Masquerade, where vampires all have an agreement to keep themselves a secret from normal society despite acting within it.

In Eureka’s world, there is no “masquerade,” but that doesn’t mean that magic and monsters are well-known and well-documented phenomenons. Supernatural creatures such as vampires, wolfmen, etc. are exceptionally rare. Don’t take this as an exact number, but you can probably assume there’s about one of these per every 3.3 million normal people.

This rarity, as well as the fact that each individual has little to gain and everything to lose by revealing themselves (try “coming out” as a person who regularly assaults people and drains their blood), has led to them going largely undocumented in the modern day. Sure, this is the digital age, there are videos, but viral videos are not exactly scientific evidence. For every real vampire caught on camera, there are a thousand hoaxes and horror short films.

There is no secret vampire government controlling things from the shadows—most vampires don’t even know any other vampires, let alone enough to form a secret society with any effect on national politics.

As for how they work, well, that’s one of my favorite parts to talk about.

There are five playable monster types in Eureka (The Vampire, The Wolfman, The Fairy, The Witch, and The Thing From Beyond) plus two extras that are Kickstarter stretch goals (The Dullahan and The Gorgon), but in the interest of time, I’m only going to really go into detail with one of them.

Most playable monster types in Eureka are very, very old-school, with an emphasis on actual historical folklore over just making up all our own lore. That doesn’t mean Eureka doesn’t have a unique approach to the supernatural, though. Little of it is “new,” but it is certainly unique, because to my knowledge no other RPG has ever taken the old stuff this far before. A PC being a monster in Eureka isn’t just a few +1s here and there and maybe a little extra damage from silver weapons, it means playing by an entirely different set of rules from fellow investigators.

The vampires and vampire lore you see in movies are not folkloric vampires, they are mostly a 20th and 21st century pop-culture creation. Eureka’s vampire abilities, weaknesses, and other traits are based on pre-1900 vampire legends, with older traits usually taking precedent over newer ones. Thus, a lot of assumptions you might have about vampires going in could end up being very wrong. For instance, in movies, vampires instantly die when exposed to sunlight, but the first ever instance of a vampire in a story being killed by sunlight was in the 1922 film Nosferatu. In Eureka, sunlight is still awful for vampires, it strips them of their vampiric powers, but it doesn’t do any real damage to them. Sunlight is an issue vampires have to deal with, but it is far from instant death. That doesn’t mean being a vampire is inherently easy though, because in addition to having all the powers that folkloric vampires have (which is a TON), they also have all the weaknesses, and it is the emphasis on weaknesses that really makes the moment-to-moment playing of a monster PC in Eureka the most interesting. A few of my favorites for vampires are the refusal to enter homes without a direct invitation, and the compulsion to count large numbers of small objects. I think most vampire media these days considers these to be “silly” weaknesses and don’t want to acknowledge them in the lore of their “serious” scary horror vampires, but honestly I think that the “sillier” vampire stuff can still be used to great effect in horror. Imagine knowing that the only reason a vicious killer at your door hasn’t stormed in to rip your throat out is because they’re being polite.

A vampiric investigator will need to work around these weaknesses, and more, in their daily life, all while being sure not to reveal their true nature to their more mortal friends. It’s something that really changes how a character behaves and goes about problem-solving.

For instance, the rest of the party may be able to break into a house no-problem, but the vampire cannot. They need a invitation. That’s a problem. That’s a puzzle. It makes me excited just thinking about it.

This was originally going to be a much longer post where I went into more of the themes of monsters in Eureka, but I have decided that that would be most cohesive as its own post, an upcoming essay titled "How Eureka Handles Disability." So stay tuned for that.

Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is kickstarting from right now until May 10th! Back it while you still can!

If you want to try before you buy, you can download a free demo of the prerelease version from our website or our itch.io page!

If you’re interested in a more updated and improved version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy than the free demo you got from our website, subscribe to our Patreon where we frequently roll our new updates for the prerelease version!

You can also support us on Ko-fi, or by checking out our merchandise!

Join our TTRPG Book Club At the time of writng this, Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy is the current game being played in the book club, and anyone who wants to participate in discussion, but can’t afford to make a contribution, will be given the most updated prerelease version for free! Plus it’s just a great place to discuss and play new TTRPGs you might not be able to otherwise!

We hope to see you there, and that you will help our dreams come true and launch our careers as indie TTRPG developers with a bang by getting us to our base goal and blowing those stretch goals out of the water, and fight back against WotC's monopoly on the entire hobby. Wish us luck.

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

I'm just thinking about how David Shore and Hugh Laurie talked about Wilson and House's relationship as definitely romantic in their GQ interview.

David Shores said, "I love that we started the series with House and Wilson, and we ended it with House and Wilson. Ending with a non-traditional romantic story is atypical, and that exploration of male friendship is something you don’t see on TV very often. You see a lot of wingmen giving each other crap, and House most certainly did that. But, the idea of guys giving each other crap who loved each other was new."

This is the same interview that Hugh Laurie said, "Way before this idiot word “bromance” was coined—I wish people wouldn’t jam words together like that, there are enough words—I think it’s true that there was a great sort of weird romantic love between House and Wilson. I suppose that was the show’s central core relationship, and it was irresistible to me. I certainly did grow… I’d stop short of saying romantically involved with Robert Sean Leonard, but we became very close and enjoyed each other’s company. He made me laugh an indecent amount. I think the writers too enjoyed writing that relationship. Shore, in particular, had a real knack for it. There was a scene in which House has been suspended from the hospital, so he’s taken the role of the housewife in Wilson’s apartment. Wilson gets home one day, and House has got a basket of laundry, and he says something like, “Your shirts aren’t dry yet, but you’ve got plenty of underwear.” Shore changed the line to “We’ve got plenty of underwear,” in what I thought was one of the funniest rewrites you could possibly have in the smallest number of letters."

I genuinely take this as them saying that Hilson is canon.

(Interview is linked)

[chalametluvrz]

dating timothee chalamet

timothee x afab!reader (mainly gn! expect on nsfw bits)

towards the start of the relationship, i think he'd be pretty anxious

he'd often find himself messing around with his hands a lot on dates

or stumbling over his words a little too much with a small giggle

if you've ever seen old interviews of him when he was younger. you know the ones where he gets all shy and giggly? that's exactly how i envision him to be with you

after some time, that's slowly replaced with his hyperactive ass

and let me tell you, boy never shuts the fuck up that's not a bad thing

because of his schedule, he rarely gets to see you in person

so whenever he does, he just has so much to tell you and so much to talk about that he just ends up coming out with a cluster-fuck of words

he always tries to facetime you at least a couple times a week

and let me tell you, the call will always start with him saying 'oh, i missed your pretty face' or 'seeing you has made my day'

boy is madly in love

and even though he hasn't said it yet, it's fairly obvious he's not hiding anything

he's the kind of person to want to keep your relationship on the down low

because if you're also famous, he wouldn't want to cause any issues or drama through tabloids

and if you aren't, he'd feel awful dragging you into the world of hollywood

eventually though, as most celeb relationships do, you got found out

someone caught you out on your 6 months anniversary

and that was it; twitter was going mental

timothee soon figured out that he probably had to say something

but honestly, he was kind of relieved he didn't have to hide you anymore

the morning you two woke up and saw yourselves going viral on twitter, there was a bit of a mad scramble between the two of you

before eventually, timothee chilled out

'but now i don't need to hide we're together, anymore. i can let the world know you're mine.' he'd say to your confusion at his relaxed state

cute but also now all of timmy's fans are stalking your instagram

cooking meals together!!!

i have a feeling timothee's love languages are more tailored towards physical touch and acts of service tell me im wrong

so cooking together is such a beautiful thing for him

as much as timothee loves taking you out, i think he'd much prefer to cook a fancy pasta dish together with wine over that any day

he also strikes me as a cosy movie date guy

but honestly, it more than likely turns into something else

don't fight me on his, he's a horny guy

like bro would get a hard-on just snuggling with you

when you first started dating, he'd get all shy about it

he'd apologise frantically and his face would be redder than ever

after dating for some time, he'd be less phased

unless you showed and expressed discomfort with it of course

after the shock of you dating slowly weaved out of the fans

timothee would definitely start posting you on his instagram

he just needed the world to know how obsessed he is with you

arguments are rare

extremely rare

they usually only happen when timothee is stressed

feelings get heated and you end up making some snippy comments at each other before one of you gets up and leaves the room

after you've both had time to cool down, you're both mature enough to talk it out and apologise for whatever each of you or one of you has done

communication is a big thing for timmy, so i think arguments are heavily avoided because he encourages you to come to him about anything

any concerns, rants and problems you have, he wants to know

he's a flirter, let me tell you that thankfully not with others

always dazzling you with compliments

you're in the crowd at a press tour? he's staring, smirking and winking at you the whole time

you're supporting him whilst he's on set? the man can't take his eyes off you and is coming to hold you the second the shot is taken

you're on facetime? every odd sentence is him saying some suggestive comment or simply how stunning you are

the man cannot get enough of you

going back to the horny thing...

he has a high sex drive

there's absolutely no doubt about it

he is a giver!!! the man aims to please!!!

could eat you out for days

i've already made a headcanon about him eating you out so i will be brief BUT!!!

he's messy!!! the wetter the better!!!

will overstimulate you with hid tongue any day

and then make sure you cum on his cock as well

you know what they say about tall, skinny boys? wink wink

i'd say he's a good 7 inches, 7 1/2 at a push

he knows how to please you, and he's eager to learn what makes you tick

even though he's mainly a dom, i can see him being a sub at times

only on rare assurances though

being his date to things like the met gala, oscars etc

after being open about your relationship, he couldn't wait to take you everywhere and anywhere with him

loves it when you wear his clothes

but i feel like all boys do?

especially when he's away, opening up a facetime call to see you sat there in one of his t-shirts. he actually thinks his heart might implode.

this boy will actually love you with his whole heart

the cutest, softest and proudest boyfriend around fr

[j-ellyfish]

hetaween2023 - day4 - found footage July 3, 2009. Lithuanian Biology graduate Tolys Laurinaitis, age 26 and a passion for wildlife and wolves, was enjoying a night out with his friend in the woods by the Lithuanian-Belarusian border. Equipped with a camping tent, food and a camera, the two friends were hoping to have a close encounter with one of the many gray wolves that populate the area. Despite being successful in their goal, as the picture above shows, this story is far from getting a happy end. «I remember the temperature seemed to drop all of a sudden» Feliks Łukasiewicz - Tolys' friend - explained «It got like, so chilly and I placed the camera on the stand so I could turn and grab the blanket.» And that's when this story takes a dark turn. «I felt like, so lonely and scared all of a sudden. And then it's like, I fainted, I don't know.» Łukasiewicz wouldn't wake up again until morning, «When I woke up, Tolys was gone. I got into panic and called a friend and somehow he found me and we went to the police.» Despite investigation, the police couldn't find any clue and had no idea what to do. Initially, they thought of a prank, but both Łukasiewicz and anyone who had been familiar with Laurinaitis never believed in such a possibility. «I have known Tolys and Feliks since we were kids,» says Eduard Von Bock, «and I know he'd never do something like that, especially to Feliks.» One month passed before the worst news would find the Laurinaitis. On the morning of August 7, the young man was found dead in the forest, leaning against an oak, no sign of violence found and his body almost intact. «Unbelievable» says coroner Lukas Bondevik «His body has barely any sign of decomposition, which would lead me to think he survived in the forest up until no more than four-five hours before the finding, but the contents of his stomach do not match this hypothesis and show proper signs of a month-long decay.» Despite further investigation, police was, once again, out of any clue and could do nothing but wait, letting this case be forgotten in a dusty archive. ... That is, until a few days ago, when Łukasiewicz finally did something he didn't dare do for all these years. «I never watched the video I took that night. It was like, too painful. The police gave it back to me after investigation, but I just stored it in my closet and tried to forget about it,» the man explains, «But recently, I've been really missing him. I wanted to look at his face again, how happy he was that night, when that wolf finally came to us! We had been waiting for like, so many hours, and Tolys was so happy ...» What Feliks did not expect to notice, however, was a weird, feminine figure standing in the background, appearing just a few seconds before the video is interrupted. «I checked all the documents and the police never noticed that detail, or so it seems. I tried to bring it up, but like, no one listened to me, so I decided to share it on Twitter instead.»

Łukasiewicz didn't have to wait long before the post went viral and reached Arthur Kirkland, head of H3T4, an association that investigates paranormal phenomena. «The figure in the background seems to match the appearance of Natalya Arlovskaya,» says Kirkland, «a young woman who allegedly went missing in those woods 40 years ago.» According to Kirkland's research, the young woman was thought to have let herself die of starvation in the woods after her forbidden love - her older stepbrother, Ivan Braginsky - left Belarus and moved to the US. «Her ghost has been haunting those woods for a long time,» Arthur Kirkland explains, «in fact, there have been several reports of young men going missing in that area throughout the years and no case has ever been solved with a clear explanation. For some reason, she seems to only go after young men.»

A good news for the daring ladies wishing to venture around that area, perhaps.

@hetaween-event

[tarjapearce]

Hello, it's me again! Thank you so much for replying to my last request. I'm really happy! I have another idea that I couldn't get out of my head and had to share it with you, lol.

So my idea is Gabriela having a small tiktok account where she you know post about her new toys or just do tiktok dances which is of course controlled by her parents! One day, she decided to make a tiktok dance with her whole family, miguel, reader, Benjamin, and her. The only problem was that miguel couldn't fully fit in the camera that hid his upper body since we all know he is 6'9, lol. So once she posted the video, it went viral, and the comments were full of "who is that man??" "Dad face revealed when?" "Can you see the height difference??" "If my man isn't like him, I don't want him." When Gabriela showed Reader and Miguel the comment, they couldn't help but giggle at how desperate people wanted to know him.

I'm sorry if the writing seems wrong English isn't my first language and I had to use grammarly.

I'm a very patient person, so even if you respond a bit late, I really don't mind!! Thank you so much for noticing my first request. I couldn't be happier💖

Glad you liked the first request darling 🥹❤️.

And couldn't help but think about this little Gabi and Miguel doing this 🤭

Hope you like 😊

When Gabi first asked you for a phone, you talked through her with Miguel. The duties and rights of owning a phone were set, and so far, everything was going well. Gabi was comfortable enough to show you what she was upto. Tiktok and toys.

She had explained that she had a little toys review account, but since the last trends were dancing with the family, she had asked you and Miguel if you were willing to participate in a dance challenge.

"It's been years since I've danced"

"Ever since our wedding, actually."

Miguel mumbled as he ate his dinner.

"What do you need us to do, Mija?"

Gabi just smirked.

----

With the current routine of the song, exercise wasn't needed. Laughing at Miguel's attempt to dance anything that wasn't mellow and romantic was sure a treat.

"PA! Así no!" (Not like that!)

Benjamin just clapped and laughed

"Pa pa"

"Yeah, Papa isn't that good at dancing. Just like Mama"

"Remember... that time when we got to Peter's carneada, and-" He chuckled

"I taught you how to dance bachata?" You giggled, "You were so stiff and nervous! Stepping on my foot. Ended up with sore feet"

"Good thing there wasn't any of that in our wedding"

"But you did good! I love you dancing"

"Mama! Stop, let's focus now, kiss later!" You could help but laugh at her words.

You smooched her cheek and soon, got the video rolling.

-----

After several attempts to get the dance right, you finally had recorded the video. And as silly as it was, you had noticed that Miguel's upper part, from his shoulders and upwards had been cut out from the frame. Of course, he was gigantic. He didn't fit properly in the phone's camera. Still Gabriela uploaded it.

----

"Uh, Mama?"

"Yes, cariño?"

"Look at this"

Gabi handed you her phone, shock in her face the comment section in her dance video was wild, just like the numbers of plays and likes

"Miguel, mi amor, come." You giggled, motioned for him to approach.

"Look at this. You're a star."

"What?" He adjusted his lenses as he read the comment section.

Whose that man?

Where do you find a man like this?!

Face reveal when?

Is there really people THAT tall? omg

That baby is soo cute!

Cute. But Momma's cuter.

We 👏🏻 need👏🏻 to 👏🏻see 👏🏻his 👏🏻faaaace.

His eyebrow quirked and he shook his head as he continued reading.

OMG, the size difference.

Momma's a pro.

Slaaayyy it Mama!

That baby's curls tho

Dilf on sight!

Lucky Mama, need me one of those.

"Yeah, no. That's not happening."

Gabi groaned

"Why not?!"

"Trust me. For Mama's sake."

You rolled your eyes at his smirking.

[r3starttt]

Rockstar abby/elliein, in interview!!

"Is your girlfriend dating you because the fame and the money?"

The reader was there even before the fame!

Even asking is offensive! How can someone think that of her girlfriend?!

And reader is in their apartment watching the interview on TV concerd because she's scared ellie/Abby would think that's true

Take your time and take care 🫶

English isn't my first language, I'm sorry for any mistakes

High School Sweethearts

> Rockstar gf! Ellie in an interview

a/n: I loved this request, it’s so cute 😭 also hope y’all like this cause it’s my first time writing something like this! Also sorry if it’s short I tried my best I swear 🤞

Warnings: none, just reader getting sad because of hate comments

You’ve met Ellie in high school. She was shy, had her small group of friends and was amazingly smart at science, physics and math, subjects that you sucked at. You’ve always catch her staring at you but whenever you two talked she would act so awkward. You always noticed how her cheeks turned slightly red whenever you were together, how she would toy with her fingers and how her legs would move up and down if she was sitting, making her converse tap on the floor extremely loud. And you also noticed how much effort she added to try and hide it, but she couldn’t.

You were the one to take most first steps on everything, staring with asking for her Instagram thinking you could start to know her more but it failed because her account was empty so you couldn’t get to know anything at all.

Then you proceeded to ask for help at physics, because that was her best subject, which was actually a win because after that you became closer, friends, or so she thought.

You’d had plenty of dates with her after that one class, but it wasn’t until you mentioned the word out loud that Ellie finally understood what was going on, and god she felt so stupid.

When she finally invited you over to her house one of the first things she did was playing guitar to you, to which you asked her if she could sing too, and she did. And when that happened you just couldn’t believe you’ve got such a hot talented smart girlfriend. That’s when you told her she should take advantage of that talent and the idea of making a band wouldn’t disappear from Ellie’s mind.

And that’s how it all started, Dina and Jesse being convinced by ellie to make a band, but not really convinced, they only agreed because how the fuck would a band like this ever work and how would it became famous? it was just for the experience and the fun and to not let her friend die alone.

So they performed for the first time ever at a bar, you’ve asked Ellie to make a cover of bad idea, yeah, from girl in red, and so she did. And for everyone’s surprise (yeah, including you) it worked more than perfectly. By starters, people did pay attention to them, that’s a win right? then people recorded them and asked for any social media to support them and you, from the public’s view, couldn’t be more happier because your girlfriend’s little dream might come true.

Thankfully you were right, they went viral and got a lot of followers real quickly. And so they kept on performing, until they started to make their own music and that just lead them to more fame.

Sooner that you could ever imagine they were already having small concerts, opening shows for bigger artists, being invited to red carpets and big events, appearing on magazines, having photoshoots and of course, being invited to podcast and having interviews as well.

For starters, fans and public in general wasn’t mean to you. When Ellie started to get the girls attention she quickly made sure everyone knew about you. She’d post you on both her own and the bands social media, she’d make you appear on lives, she’d make you go on stage as well. Everything to make sure that you and everyone else knew more than well that you were her girlfriend and she loved you a lot.

There’s the fan girls that hate you a bit and always insist that you’re only there for fame and money, the ones that would do anything to convince Ellie on breaking up with you just because they think they’ll have a chance with her if that ever happens. But after those comments became repetitive you learned to ignore them.

However today you weren’t so sure about it. The band had been invited to a live podcast that was super viral because of the influencers behind it and the type of questions they asked to their guests, as well as a small section at the end where the artists invited would have to read fan comments. They’d make them answer all, and of course they were all the polemic ones. And you knew you will eventually get involved in those comments.

You decided to stay at your shared apartment, you weren’t sure if you were gonna be able to handle the comments. So now you were just laying on bed with your phone on your hands anxiously watching the podcast.

So far everything was good, they’d given some context about themselves and how the band was created. They’ve been talking about how they meet and how it was all the process of becoming famous, and how was fame for them.

That was until they were told about the comments. Honestly at this point you’re way to focused on how fun everything was and how hot Ellie looks to feel anxious, but it does freak you out to see what type of questions they might get, no only Ellie but the whole band, you’re very aware of how annoying and disrespectful people can be.

Most comments are about how hot the three of them are, about how hot Ellie’s tattoo is, the typical fan girl comments that make the whole band laugh and make fun of it. Then there’s also hate comments and that unfortunately where you appear the most. One of the influencers grabs their phone and reads out loud “I bet Ellie’s girlfriend is only there for the fame and the money, she must get a lot from being so close to Dina and Jesse as well. Fucking good luck she has” then he proceeds to say excitedly how many likes the comment has, you hated them and hated this because even though you weren’t there you felt humiliated.

And as much as you try to ignore the whole situation you can’t help but feel like shit, you freaked out because if that comment had so many support that meant there’s a lot of people that thinks that and what assures you neither Ellie, Dina or Jesse have ever thought about it?

The three of them stay in silence for a couple of seconds, everyone just staring at Ellie awkwardly and waiting for her response, including you. And just when anxiety is eating you alive you hear her voice.

“Whoever wrote that comment is jealous as fuck” Ellie says clearly annoyed, her brows furrowed and a very sarcastic smirk on her face “the three of us meet her in high school as well. I was amazed by her when I first saw her but just couldn’t manage to talk to her, I was shy as fuck back then” both Dina and Jesse laughed, nodding their heads as making fun of her because only they know the amount of times Ellie would go with them to speak excitedly about how you had noticed her.

She speaks one more time and you can’t help but feel excited, now you understand the fans “however if she was here for it I don’t mind it at all because she’s hot, y’all wished to be m’ girl, stop being so annoying guys” and you can hear the interviewers laughing at the back, praising her for being so honest and calling fans out since most artists don’t.

And as you’re in bed, watching the live and feeling like a teenager in love. Ellie is dying to grab her phone and make you know how much she adores you and how much she can’t wait to get home with you, but she can’t of course cause she’s live and with her phone way to far from her.

[ysabelmystic]

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[syrikif]

Gamer Etiquette

Kodzuken x Streamer!Y/N

Pairing: Kenma Kozume x Fem!Reader

Genre: SMAU + Written, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Streamer/Youtuber AU

Content Warnings: Sexual jokes/content, mention of death threats, mature language

Upcoming content creator/streamer, Y/N, has gone viral for lots of things. Her infamous dumb moments, her blended cookie recipe (which tastes better than it sounds), the way she rages at her friends during games, and about a hundred more.

But her most recent viral moment? Accidentally knocking famous streamer, Kodzuken, off the Bedwars map and making him lose his two year winning streak.

Now with more attention (and hate) than she ever asked for, her only option left is to go to the source: the man himself, Kenma Kozume.

Created: October 6, 2023 Completed: (Ongoing) Update Schedule: I’m currently in the process of moving so just whenever I can :)

Masterlist:

Important Profiles: Y/N's Group Kenma's Group Prologue: Daddy Kink Cat Distribution System Chapter 1: Thirst Trap Hospital Food Chapter 2: Bedwars 🖊 Boredom 🖊 Chapter 3: Trending One Game Chapter 4: Calm Guilt 🖊 Chapter 5: Unhinged One in a Million Chapter 6: Cuddle Buddies 🖊 Casual Chapter 7: Rating The Cat Girl Chapter 8: A Dozen Men Little Things 🖊 Chapter 9: Scaredy Kitten Disappearing Act Chapter 10: Chapter 11: tbc . . .

Author's Notes:

Hey guys! This is my first post on Tumblr and the first SMAU I've ever written. Which, kudos to everyone else who makes SMAU's because they are a lot of work.

Just some basic info before you begin reading:

Y/N uses she/her pronouns and is feminine presenting.

Every chapter will have two parts, one part from Y/N's point of view and one part from Kenma's; the order will differ depending on the chapter.

Every update will be a double post so make sure you know you’re reading the correct one first, and reading both of them.

Time stamps don't really matter unless explicitly written by me so you can just ignore them :)

There will be both written and social media elements; written parts will be marked with a pen (🖊).

And I'm gonna be honest, while I love the anime I haven't actually watched it in a long time and I was never able to finish season three. That being said, if anything I write seems out of character for anyone just bear with me I'm trying my best lol.

Please feel free to give me any feedback and/or criticism to help me improve. And if any of the links aren't working just let me know and I'll try to get it fixed ASAP.

If you have any questions, don't feel too shy and reach out if possible; I promise I'll answer to the best of my ability.

(Also, just comment if you'd like to be on the taglist.)

Hope you enjoy the story :)

[cruciomione]

"fixing" the panic attack scene to be more platonic ™

im extremely active on twt and have been noticing a sydcarmy tweet go viral multiple times a week (like w thousands of interactions its crazy), and its really great to see how much people love and see it for this ship. recently carmys panic attack scene went viral again, and naturally, some ppl gave their piece about how we are all dumb for interpreting it as romantic. that sydney represents his love for his job or his duty to the restaurant (*sigh*).

this scene imo, is the most concrete proof of this ship. i can excuse (not really) interpreting every interaction between them thus far as platonic but this scene....i just refuse. this is gonna be a long post, not analyzing the scene per se because i can't possibly say anything that hasn't already been said but more "fixing" the scene to fit the narrative of antis, and i hope in doing so really shows there's no other way to interpret this scene as other than romantic. again its gonna be a long post bc im just ranting and i think i will lose my mind if i dont type this out.

lets go.

so first off i like to think of this scene as an equation/experiment. simply a problem that needs to be solved.

problem/reason of panic = ...we will discuss this...

solution # 1 = claire -> failed

solution # 2 = sydney -> worked.

Problem/Reason

s02e09 opens up with carmy and claire finally consummating their relationship, with an interesting song choice might i add and carmy dissociating, looking sad, or broken (???) after. because many have said carmy pulling memories of sydney from his psyche to calm down have to do with work i always remember that, it really doesnt make any sense?

carmy is clearly having a panic attack due to him not being "fixed" as soon as he made it official with claire. he felt pressure from his family both currently and in the past to date claire because she is amazing and perfect. add mikey also being a part of that crowd, and carmy so desperately trying to connect with him when he cannot, is why i think he looks so despondent after that scene. i truly think he thought he would be a changed person after everything with claire and when that didn't happen he flipped...

we know this is the reason bc his panic attack starts with their sex scene and the lyric "I dont know" from strange currencies by REM.

this isn't to say that he isn't nervous or stressed about the soft open but its clear that he's not having a panic attack about work nor have we ever seen him have a work-related panic attack (correct me if I'm wrong). in s1 he has one or two due to him greiving his brother.

platonic fix: To make it about work I would have added scenes like when Carmy started that stove fire in braciole, his meltdown in review, some scenes of his horrible time at EMP, and him grieving his brother. i think these would represent his fear of failure, falling back into old toxic habits pertaining his career, the fear of fostering a toxic work environment like the ny chef and also the idea of "failing" mikey

but theres a reason why none of this occurs bc its not about his job or the opening of the bear. this is explicitly about his personal and romantic love life.

Solution # 1 : Claire

carmy proceeds to try and calm down by thinking of claire through literal rose-coloured glasses...

the music is distorted, he's thinking of his abusive family, he remembers every one pushing him to date claire bc shes a #goodthing.

again...this is not about his job and wouldnt make sense to think of sydneys place in his work life as a soultion to his clear personal problem....

platonic fix: in the story of carmys love life claire and sydney act as narrative foils. they have been compared and contrasted for all of s2. my platonic fix for this would be making the NY chef this first "solution" of a work-related panic attack. he represents a horrible time in his life but also represents a time when carmy was at the height of his career. when carmy gets locked in the walk in and has his monologue, its alluded to that he will revert back to that mind set in order to not let everyone down.

NY chef abused him for so long, it makes sense that carmys psyche would readily go back to his insults and the time he himself was an isolated 'psycho' bc it yielded results.

nothing is black and white and i DO think sydney represents a healthier approach to the toxic mess that is the culinary world and does represent that for carmy. if the show was invested in that, sydney and the NY chef could be overtly contrasted like sydney and claire have been.

BUT again this isnt about his job and dedication as a chef...thus why he tries to think of claire to solve his personal problem, and it fails.

Solution # 2: Sydney

LMFAOOO.

carmy then in a crazy plot twist starts thinking of his platonic work bestie sydney adamu....the love song dedicated by the show to his relationship with his girlfriend is then made clear highlighting some pretty damning lyrics about desire and love.....all platonic btw. yes you are dumb if you think otherwise (*wink*)

I actually have two platonic fixes for this...

platonic fix # 1: if we only wanted to focus on sydney as a person who calms carmy down because shes his work bestie who represents his responsibilty to the bear and the postive change they are trying effect in the culinary world, i would add scenes where they are...you know actually cooking???

i think its pretty crazy how the memories carmys immediately jump to are ones that have little to do with their jobs. when they first meet (would also like to note that when carmy first laid eyes on Sydney, he forgot she was there for a job, so this is his raw reaction to seeing a pretty girl lol) and when she comes back after she quit and their break up fight.

i would add their scenes in carmys kitchen (even tho this is extremely damning bc they were flirting DOWN - they don't make this easy at all). this represents their collaboration skills and the way they WORK and bounce ideas off of each other seamlessly. specifically the scene about him wanting to give her a star, representing his duty to her and the restaurant.

*and no shade to carmy but if his responsibility to the bear/syd as a co-worker was bothering him this much and calmed him down wouldn't he have just immediately called the fridge guy.....anyways*

platonic fix # 2 (the best one): if i was chris storer and joanna calo and i REALLY wanted to sell it that carmy isnt in love with sydney then i would put every single member of the OG beef crew + Nat to calm him down not just Sydney.

im talking to them laughing at family, carmy giving tina his chefs knife, richie in his new suit, carmys one on one w Marcus/trying his donut, nat telling carmy shes pregnant (signifing rebirth/wanting to rid all the toxic abuse from his family), carmy trying sydney risotto, and her face when he said it was tremendous etc etc...you get the gist

and honestly?

even as i type this out im tearing up a little bit bc that would have been really beautiful. carmy is changing. he can and is getting rid of old toxic habits from his family and the mess that is the culinary industry. things are changing for the better....that would be beautiful....IF his panic attack was about any of these things lol.

and to even look at this scene without this need for symmetry and we entertain the idea of carmy thinking about his job as a solution for his personal problem...carmy has said himself (s02e01) that this isnt fun for him. i dont think that means he hates cooking i kinda disagree with the ppl who think he isnt passionate about it. i just think currently its something that doesnt bring him joy but i do think its something hes starting to or at least could have started to enjoy if he just committed to working with syd...

conclusion

theres a lot of....delusion? denial? straight up bias? yes all of that, going on.

idk what is happening bc this show is really great at being subtle. but i dont know whats more in your face, dumbed down, even a toddler could understand, than this scene. if you dont come out of this understanding that carmy is falling in love/currently in love with Sydney...and i hate using this term..but you just arent media literate.

bonus: bc it makes me laugh and connects the purpose and solutions.

i think we need a Snyder Sydcarmy Cut™ of bolognese and omelette.

the start of the episode is when sydney and carmy fight over claires inclusion in the menu, and also when sydney randomly asks him to define his relationship with Claire. the episode would continue until we get to the table scene.

i think its WILD how as soon as Sydney asks him to define their relationship, carmy starts calling claire his girlfriend. then the show proceeds to insert sydney in their romantic montage, shows her tattoo about heartbreak and someone getting in the way of your relationship...THEN proceeds to have carmy compare these two women in his mind and only calms down after seeing Sydney.

i could talk about this scene for AGES. wheres the straitjacket....

[xenosagaepisodeone]

I was reading a reddit thread about lost media you'd like to see recovered and someone mentioned a 9/11 video titled "LOL SUPERMAN". "LOL SUPERMAN" is allegedly an up amateur recording of one of the twin towers jumpers actually hitting the ground up close. it was purportedly a popular shock video in the early aughts that became increasingly difficult to find for reasons unknown. all that exists at this time is a nondescript screenshot of the buildup to the event.

Now, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this video does not exist. There is no way that footage from 9/11, let alone footage of someone dying on 9/11 that was fashioned into viral shock content, could ever go unarchived. Even the title "LOL SUPERMAN" implies a degree of well-recognized memeticism in saving and sharing the video. If this video was real there would have been an encyclopedia dramatica article about it where a low res gif of the person hitting the ground was stickied to the top of the page. There would be a gallery subsection where someone would have edited awesomeface over the face of the deceased. And a sped-up version of the gif with the caption "chocolate raaaaaaiiin". The opening of the article would be something like "LOL SUPERMAN" is a shock video of a twin towers jumper being pwned by gravity".

And yet, a Mandela effect seems to have occurred. Hundreds of people insist that they have seen this video with no detail of the circumstances beyond having a vague recollection of it being online- and despite its virality, they never happen to be any one of the ones who actually saved and sent it to someone. I can't help but wonder if this type of amnesia is induced from a combination of the post 9/11 cultural landscape, where lurid images of victims were weaved into every aspect of reality, and the rise of aughts shock sites ripping videos of people dying from the context of their own lives to induce a similar kind of unease on the internet. The camcorder footage of people waving for help in the burning buildings has the same crunchy, digital consistency of camcorder footage you'd find on liveleak. At a certain point of constant exposure, it all just becomes snuff. I can imagine someone hearing about "LOL SUPERMAN" in 2009 after viewing 2guy1hammer on ebaumsworld and thinking "well, it's gotta exist, right?".

[fallinforerling]

LOVE ISN’T ETERNAL. chapter 4 - jb

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist  

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The weekend arrived without any nasty surprises, which was very much appreciated. Jobe was still a bit bitter towards Jude for all the lies he told the family, but you convinced him to not pick any fights with his brother. Jude didn't deserve it, but you still cared about his family dynamic staying the same regardless of how he managed the breakup and everything that came after it.

Now you were laying in bed, not having the energy to do much. It's not like you were allowing yourself to be consumed by the grief or sadness (which you still felt), but you were a bit apathetic. Luckily, Nikki and Mia were coming over to help you with that. 

“I want this to end.” You whispered after a while, wanting to say something to fill up the silence in your apartment.

Because you truly wanted to get over him. Why bother grieving him? He has been partying and probably sleeping with girls every night since his arrival to London. And what were you doing? Missing him? Wishing he’d call? Having insomnia?

“Fucking prick.” At least insulting him was good therapy.

Before you could enter the space of mind where all you did was hate him and his existence, your phone started to ring. The only connection to the outside world this past week and a half was that little device.

Nikki was calling.

“Yeah?”

“Check my chat, girl. This is fucking insane. Go! We're almost there!” And then she hung up.

“What's up with Nikk and hanging up after saying things like that?” You laughed, expecting something funny or a photo of them. But no, it was a Twitter thread. When you clicked it, you almost had a heart attack.

“The fuck is this?!” You screamed.

The author of the thread simply wrote: “Jobe's new girlfriend???? I'm so jealous, who is sheeee???” followed with four photos per tweet. They were from the park meeting just a few days ago. There were photos of you hugging, when you were sitting together and when you started to leave the park.

At least it wasn't going viral, but there still were lots of people interacting with it. They were trying to guess who you were and for how long you two have been “dating”. A nightmare.

This had never happened in the ten months you dated Jude, mostly because privacy was important to him... And now you were mistaken for his little brother’s girlfriend? You felt like having a panic attack, but your front door opened and closed loudly, interrupting your thoughts. 

“Did you see it?” Mia said, entering your bedroom after a few seconds.

“How did you find it?”

“Oh, you know I love gossip. I was digging for some information and I came across it. Did you see the date? Someone posted it three days ago.” Nikki sat next to you, biting her lip.       

“Yeah…” Your brain started to analyze how it happened… Who took the photos without you noticing? The park was almost empty the whole time. Unless… “Fuck… I know who took those photos.” 

���Who?” Mia asked with apprehension. “Someone we know?” 

“No, far from it” With a sigh, you sat. “We met at a park near here. I've always liked that place because most of the time is empty… But that day I spotted a group of girls near us; I didn’t even payed them attention, they were far enough to not eavesdrop.” You covered your eyes, feeling frustrated. “They were teenagers, so of course they took the opportunity when they recognized him.” 

“Yikes, girl… Someone’s going to cancel you for dating a minor.” Nikki joked, winning a very small smile from Mia and you. 

“That’s not funny, my god.They probably will if they ever find who I am and my age.” You sighed, absolutely sick with the path your life was taking. “Why can’t I have one day of peace, huh? Life sucks.”

“Of course it sucks, that’s the main thing about living,” Mia said, sitting in your bed. “Well, let’s pray for that threat to die soon enough. You know how people are, they’re probably hunting for the next big gossip of the week.” 

“Yeah…” You grabbed your phone again, thinking about your next move. “I probably should send this to Jobe as well, I don’t want him to be taken by surprise if people begin asking about this.” A tiny smile peaked between your lips. “And let’s hope the girl he likes doesn’t find it either.”

“Do you know what else you need to start doing?” Nikki said while you send the link to Jobe, who started to laugh about the ridiculous assumption those girls made about you. 

“What?” You asked without paying much attention, smiling a bit when Jobe started to call himself Mr. Steal Your Girl. 

“Being a soulless, heartless, and cold girl for once. What about some clubbing, some fun… Some boys?” 

“You’re like the devil on her shoulder, Nikk,” Mia said, nudging Nikki’s arm. “But I agree, you need some fun. We forbid you from staying at home, drowning in your sadness. That boy doesn’t deserve it.” 

“Not one bit,” Nikki replied, hugging you. “I promise it will be super fun, just go out with us tonight.” 

Instead of responding, you took a look at the ground. There it is. You knew them too well, there was no way for them to “casually” suggest a night out; they had a plan. Their bags were on the floor, but you noticed a small bag that Nikki only took out of her house if she was planning to party: her makeup bag, which was essential if she was going out clubbing.

“Are you trying to persuade me into partying tonight?” You smiled, not even mad at the idea. 

“Maybe?” Both of them said, trying to look as innocent as possible. 

The three of you looked at each other with big smiles before laughing. 

“We’re going out tonight!” Mia screamed, gaining more laughs from Nikki and you. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The fun part about going out with Mia and Nikki was the part previous to the actual clubbing. There just was something magical about getting ready with them: the makeup with the collaboration of everybody, constantly changing outfits, Nikki persuading both of you to drink a little bit for good luck and Mia insisting that all of you needed smoky eyes, so guys felt intimidated. Most of it was nonsense, but they were your best friends in the whole world and you always felt extremely thankful for their support.

“Promise me you’re going to at least try dancing with the hottest guy that approaches you tonight.” Mia said while doing your smoky eyes (yeah, you gave in).

“I’ll try.” And you will because it wasn’t fair for you to stay in your comfort zone. If this whole thing didn’t cheer you up or make you feel better, then you could always find other ways to keep your mind occupied.

“That’s more than enough for me. Try to have fun, this is a girl’s night.” 

“And talking about girls. Put this dress on, the girls look stunning in it.” Nikki dropped a black dress on your lap. 

“No way!” You lifted it with a smile. “I completely forgot about this dress. I haven’t worn it since…” You paused, feeling uncomfortable. “Uh, Jude’s birthday.” 

“Well, who cares about that? You still look amazing.” Nikki smiled, obviously not about to let you think much about Jude. 

“Done!” Mia said after a few seconds, biting her lip. “This is my best work so far.” Her eyes were sparkling, so you believed her. 

Facing yourself in the mirror, you almost didn’t recognize the face that was looking back at you. You looked amazing; the color of your eyes popped, the glitter was doing the right job of not making it look too dark and the red lipstick was the final touch. You loved it. 

“That’s the face of a heartbreaker, girl.” Nikki admired your face for an instant before smiling. “Ah, I can’t wait for the boys to fight over you.” 

“Very funny, Nikk.” 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The club Nikki choose was wild, especially since a manager was waiting for you at the door, guiding you to the balcony section of the club- which was the freaking VIP one.

“Nikk?” You half-screamed through the music, dying to know how she managed to pull this off. Mia seemed as confused as you were. “Anything you want to tell us?”

“About what?” She kept walking with the biggest of smiles.

“Uh… Us getting into the VIP section wiht no even five minutes of being here?”

“Oh, that?” Her smile grew bigger, if that was physically possible. “I know someone.”

Clearly, that was all the information you were getting. Mia gave you a look and the both of you silently decided that it was better if you didn’t dig into it.

“Tonight it’s about having fun, girls. My treat, don’t worry.” Nikki said once you were at the table, which already had a champagne bottle resting comfortably on an ice bucket. Three champagne glasses were next to it, patiently waiting for you. 

“Oh, so this is luxury, luxury.” Mia whispered, laughing a bit. 

“The fun it’s all that matters, trust me, Mia.” A waiter appeared out of nowhere, silently grabbing the bottle before smiling at all of you. 

“Welcome, ladies. May I open it now?” You nodded, and with one quick movement of his wrist, he had the job done. Impressive. “Hope you have a good night. Don’t forget you can always call a waiter with the button that’s underneath the table.” And then he was gone. 

“You were right, Mia. This is luxury luxury.” You accepted the glass Nikki offered you, excited for the night ahead. 

“Let’s enjoy it without actually wondering how much all this is, babe.” Was all she said before chugging her glass in one sitting. “I’m ready, give me another one.” 

“That’s what I’m talking about!" Nikki cheered, happy to see Mia engaged with tonight’s mission.                                                                                                     

“Come on, you need to chug that thing too, there’s more in here.” Nikki told you, already serving Mia’s second glass. 

“Fuck it.” You said before doing as Nikki said, chugging your champagne as carefully as possible so you didn’t choke. “If I end up vomiting all over the floor at the end of the night, I want you to know, I’m blaming you.” 

“That’s fine to me!” And then Nikki chugged her glass as well. 

Yeah, this night was going to be hella interesting.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Needless to say that within two hours of clubbing you were pretty drunk. Not to the point of falling when trying to walk because the world was spinning or to the verge of unconsciousness, but a good point between being able to not care if something ridiculous escaped your mouth and dancing with strangers without giving it a second thought. 

Nikki had found some friends along the night, and now three more people, which were the nicest ever, were sitting at your table, chatting and laughing along. You enjoyed the their company, but felt the need to give yourself space to drink a very much needed glass of water in peace. 

So there you were, leaning against one of the multiple spaces in the balcony where little chairs were dispersed. It felt almost peaceful if you ignored the music blasting through the speakers or the many waiters going around the place, dealing with drunks and orders. 

“No way! Is that you?” A voice startled you, taking your mind away from the blankness it was immersed in. “I knew I wasn’t mistaking that face!” 

You turned, slightly pissed at the person that was basically yelling at you, until you realized it was Gio. Gio Reyna himself. 

“Gio?!” You didn’t know why, but the excitement made you scream. Maybe it was because you were drunk, but seeing Gio was one of the highlights of the night. “What the fuck are you doing here?” 

“I’m taking the few days off I have.” He hugged you tightly once you stood up, almost swiping you from the floor. “You look amazing! What are you doing here?” 

“Thanks! I’m with my friends, they’re right there!” You pointed to the table, where all kept chatting without noticing your encounter. “It’s a girl’s night!” 

“That’s cool! I thought you were with Jude, since he’s at London and all that.” 

Your smile never wandered from your face, not caring about Jude’s name being dropped from Gio’s lips. You shook your head, letting him know you weren’t with him today. Or ever, for that matter. 

“Nope, just my girls and I.” He kept looking at you like he was in front of a new person, not Jude’s “girlfriend”. You didn’t know if you liked it or felt bad about it. He was one of Jude’s good friends after all. “What about taking a picture? It’s been so long since we saw each other.” 

“Sure! Are you okay if I post it to IG?” 

Oh?

“Of course, go for it.” 

Then the two of you moved to a more illuminated area, he took his phone and you knew this was one of a kind type of opportunity. Time to be the pettiest bitch I know. Taking advantage of him getting closer to you for the sake of the photo, you passed one arm over his shoulders, and after a couple of pics, you decided to give him a tiny peck on the cheek. 

“Let's see.” He said shyly. Aw.

A few of them were blurry, but most were decent and the peck one was fabulous, not only for the sake of your intentions, but also because of how good the two of you looked. Your makeup was still intact, and with the lighting, it shined in a very pretty way. Gio had a light blush due to the alcohol, his smile being evident, giving his already handsome face something else. 

“That one?” You said, picking the one you liked the most. 

“Yeah! We look amazing.” He started to set it but paused before publishing it. “Do you mind if I tag you?” 

Bingo. 

“Go ahead, I have no problem.” And that was it. 

You said your goodbyes, and while returning to the table, you felt some type of triumph. Did this make you a bad person? 

“Where were you? We thought you got lost or something.” Mia said when you finally arrived, sitting beside Nikki. 

“So… I did a thing…”

[osaka-lilac]

Asking you to kindly elaborate on the strollonso football au:

hello raapija my beloved, i would love to elaborate <3

for those out of the loop, refer to my tags on this post!

warning: i am an american with a incredibly basic understanding of footy ("soccer"). there is a reason the actual talk of any gameplay is basic and limited

fernando is this new guy to Lawrence Stroll's footy team right. (because in every universe, lawrence has to own a Team.) i can imagine he's some draft pick from spain for a new striker or something like that. possibly some trade, maybe a mid-season exchange (they do that in american football but idk if they do that in footy) those who know specifics of positions in footy please let me know your thoughts on what position fernando would play

lance: couldn't give two shits about footy. he's seen maybe once in a blue moon on the sidelines tagging along, and he's known for being visibly bored or on his phone during matches. (he has the Pout Blast 3000 for this.)

the reputation he receives from fans is much like the perceived impressions he gets irl: some spoiled kid who shouldn't be there. he's more into hockey than any match his dad's team could ever play.

now when fernando shows up its like a fucking slap to the face. like. "holy fuck i didn't think they could be this hot" type beat.

for the first time, lance shows up to a team practice with his father, not just a match. but he's really not there for the team: he is enamored by fernando. his speed. he's a sly yet devilishly handsome fucker with this wicked grin when he knows he's tricked his opponent yet again, and lance is obsessed.

not only does he start going to way more matches. he also starts showing visible interest and gets invested. and he gets loud. the mumbles online about his "spoiled reputation" turn to joy. he becomes a meme of the team for a few weeks after a clip of him getting frustrated after a poorly-called card is given to fernando ends up going viral.

and maybe this entire time, fernando has been watching this young boy from afar. he totally believes he can't be with his literal manager's young son and jeopardize his spot on the team and a shot at glory. and maybe he believes that lance initially isn't interested. but maybe when he sees lance become more invested in the team, he figures he might have a chance. he just can't figure out why lance has become so invested in what was, quite frankly, a very short amount of time.

so maybe fernando's on the side for a while in a practice. lance is there, but he seems distant. not in the game. not really watching the drills by the other players with much enthusiasm. and fernando's a smart man. and he puts some pieces together in his brain. and makes a move.

he comes up to lance and asks to talk with him once practice is done. when all the other players are gone. in the locker room. of course lance agrees

flash forward a bit. n lance is like. hanging out by the exit outside of the locker room. he counts all the players. and when there's only one left. he goes inside. finds fernando sitting on one of the benches, still in his kit.

they get to talking. what lance does outside of being at games, (i can imagine him being a student but i don't have the will to kin assign him a major right now), what his favorite hockey team is (habs. of course) and of course, the loaded question:

"lancito, what's gotten you so interested in the team now?"

of course, lance doesn't really respond to this, kinda dances around the question. he gets flustered. he doesn't want to be found out. what if he sees right through him, what if he already knows, what if he tells his dad??

fernando leans in slightly, and slides his hand over lance's hip. he cups his chin softly, and slowly turns lance's head to look at fernando straight on.

"be honest, niñito."

and when has lance ever been anything but honest.

[fox-bright]

In Response to the H5N1 Ask:

I'm not answering the ask with your name on it, because I think you came off poorly, and I'm not in the habit of pointing my followers at people when I feel this angry at them. But having had some fresh chocolate chip cookies, some cat snuggles, some sifu-husband hugs, some delightful kindly asks from people who are prepared to behave like equals today and no shortage of groupchat “Would you look at the fucking cojones on THIS one?!” mockery, I now feel settled enough to take this line by line.

So let’s do it.

Hello. I am someone who works alongside people in ornithology. Hi! I work alongside a master of IT and frequently work arm-in-arm with medical doctors. What does that make me? I’m not a sysadmin and you’d better not trust me to install an arterial stent.

Your bird flu post was linked to me and I would like to privately share some reassurance about H1N1 as well as some problems I have with your post.

My post was about H5N1. H1N1 is the swine flu.

Bird flu has been studied for years and indeed is very lethal to humans, but it does not have the same viral characteristics as a mammal-originating virus like COVID does. This is not a useful statement. Bird flu has been studied for decades—over a century, in fact, as the 1918 flu was an avian influenza. You know, the one that killed tens of millions of people, to the point that it derailed a world war? Personally, I have been paying attention to and reading research papers about H5N1 since 2015, and giving my very close attention to it for the last five years.

Since the SARS outbreak, vaccines and treatments for these rare case of direct bird-to-human flu transmission have been developed and have been poised to be deployed immediately should direct bird-to-human transmission ever occur. Let’s be clear: bird-to-human transmission is occurring too frequently. More than eight hundred times in the last twenty years, and more and more rapidly in recent years, and again, more than half of those were lethal. That tends to be from exposure to wild animals hunted for food, or exposure to home-raised animals who get sick from wild animals. Bird-to-human transmission is not yet occurring frequently in the States, where our food is generally factory-produced and hunting is less common, but it is occurring with increasing regularity outside of the US. No vaccine will be useful to a person who is already infected (useless!); currently the treatment for infected people is antivirals and supportive care, alongside strict quarantine. Current H5N1 vaccines may or may not be very effective against any human-to-human variant, as it may have mutated to evade them. We do not have enough H5N1 vaccine doses to go around, and the ones we do will be concentrated first on the military and medical personnel.

The reason monitoring agencies and professionals are on “high alert” for these bird-to-cow-to-human incidents is because they are taking it seriously on a more theoretical level essential to their profession. Why are you so smugly, confidently incorrect? “We have never seen this scale of infections in mammals, and in such diversity of mammals. We have now seen more than 40 species of mammals infected during the last outbreaks, which is unprecedented.”

In this case, the people and cows who contracted H1N1 did not die. It’s literally been days since the human contracted it from the cows, and we do not yet know that he’s the only one. We are NOT in a position to say “okay, so things are peachy!” We also do not know how many cows have it (we’re up to what, fifteen farms now?) and we do not know how rapidly it’s evolving in those massive groups of mammals.

My first concern about your post is its lack of linked to sources and the framing of it as an advice post. The New York Times has an article available on this issue as well as the Audubon Society and various wildlife agencies. Some of these articles are a year or two old, This is the point where I started getting really pissed at you. You demand I provide citations, but you provide none. You suggest I go to the fucking New York Times to read outdated articles? So you haven’t read anything more recent, or from anywhere more reliable, and thus you don’t imagine that I have, either? Arrogance.

but that is because this strain is a very slow-moving development ABSOLUTELY not the case. It is mutating rapidly, over and over and over again. You demanded sources, so I expect you to read those, but if you’ve only got time for one, pick the last of them.

with no immediate signs of consequences for humans outside of people working directly with cattle getting sick— and these humans have neither transmitted the virus to others or suffered anything worse than pink eye from it. So since it hasn’t happened, we don’t need to worry about it happening, hmm? Are you familiar with the term “gain-of-function research?” It’s when an organism is changed, in a lab, to make it more powerful, more infectious, more virulent, something along those lines. When you put a disease into tens of thousands of animals, you’re performing a natural gain of function experiment, as it has tens of thousands of chances to mutate. The “Spanish flu” pandemic, which actually was first noted in a Kansas army base, was almost certainly the result of an avian flu infecting pigs. Pigs are really similar to us, in terms of receptors; what makes them sick is much more likely to make us sick; when this hits pigs-to-pig transmission, it’s time to batten down the hatches. Cows aren’t nearly as similar, but they’re still mammals, so they bring it a lot closer to us; and when you can get unaltered H5N1 from bodily fluids, guess what? Meat and milk are disease vectors. And we don’t actually know that pasteurization of milk inactivates the virus. As I said in my previous post, now is the time to prepare, and to be wary.

This strain is lethal and highly viral between birds and will likely remain this way for a very long time.

This strain has been rapidly, monstrously lethal to MANY animals. Sometimes in huge numbers. You may remember the mink farm where it mutated to spread mink-to-mink (those are mammals), or the sea lions (which I will point out to you are also mammals), where it spread sea lion-to-sea lion and rapidly killed them by the thousands. It’s killing polar bears. It’s killing other predators. It’s killing all manner of US mammals singly and in multiples. However, the mammal-killing mutations don’t stop it from still killing birds.

My final concern— Spring is coming and that means horny birds are about to start hitting windows. Wildlife rehabbers are currently updating the public’s general info on what to do with stunned birds— they often do not recover if left on their own to fly away after a window strike and concerned citizens need to take these birds to a rehabber immediately if found. If people read your post, they will likely conclude that bird-to-human crossover is likely and be afraid to touch a downed bird that needs emergency medical care. I want to be absolutely, painfully clear to any non-doofus reading this right now: I have loved birds since infancy. I grew up with a smalltime conservationist; I have spent no small amount of my photographic hours on birds. I have saved wild birds—poisoned by farmers, wingshot by rednecks, window-struck, sick, attacked by feral cats, orphaned by agricultural machinery--long enough to get them to rehabbers on many occasions, and I have on three occasions assisted with that rehab, including keeping very odd hours to feed nestlings with a dropper. I have assisted with ecological rehabilitation and rewilding programs to provide them with territory; I have written my politicians and donated to wildlife efforts. So know that this is not coming from a place of not respecting or loving the wildlife. This is not “framed as” or “presented as” advice, this is absolutely the advice I would give you face to face, in absolute conviction. This year? If you see a fallen bird? You WALK THE FUCK AWAY. H5N1 gives birds seizures, disorientation, clumsiness and gasping. Or, sometimes, it is completely asymptomatic, and a perfectly healthy-seeming bird could still give you the disease. You can not tell if that bird hit the window because it’s horny and stupid and you forgot to put the stickers up, or because it’s in the grip of a disease that could kill you if the creature breathes too closely to you.

Given all of this, I ask that you please delete your original bird flu post before it has the chance to scare a lot of people and potentially hinder them from helping birds. Yeah, that's not going to be happening.

If you’d like to repost it, please add linked sources and resources for those concerned about avian flu. As previously mentioned, the New York Times has an article with the latest developments on monitoring this virus. Fuck you and your ignorant superciliousness sideways. You do not walk into my fucking Asks with this bullshit like you know ANYTHING when you plainly haven’t read jack shit about the situation as it’s evolving on the ground.

Bird flu is indeed very scary but not nearly in the same league as Covid or even the seasonal flu for most people. You’re absolutely right, in absolutely the wrong direction. If-when this goes human-to-human, it will rapidly outstrip covid’s dangerousness to a shocking degree. Today, it is not dangerous to anyone who leaves birds the fuck alone, but that’s today, and we need to prepare for the potential of tomorrow.

I hope this information helps and please excuse my stiff language. I suspect I sound really angry and condescending when I haven’t had much sleep. Yeah, you came off as a total jackwagon. “This information,” you say, as if you brought ANYTHING with you but attitude.

Sorry if that’s the case, but I didn’t want anything picking up steam before sharing this with you! Please educate yourself more adequately before you attempt again to correct someone. I have myself in the past been raring to go with a correction, checked to make sure that I had my phrasing right, and been caught flatfooted by new information. It’s better to feel that embarrassing moment of “oh, shit,” and realign your understanding silently, than to go in without doing any of the work and waste someone else’s time having to educate you.

If you reply to this in any way that is even slightly confrontational, I'm just going to block you. You aren't worth my time--you weren't worth this time! I have things I am supposed to be doing!--and I genuinely hope you do better in the future.

[the-girl-in-the-high-castle]

The absurdity and stupidity of all shitflix cancelations lies in one simple question: How many of those canceled shows have you actually heard of before they got canceled?

- Warrior Nun - never heard of it until the moment I started seeing its fans spamming every shitflix post. And that was its second season. It had two seasons, for fucks sake, and most of us have never heard of it. You wanna know whose fault that is? Let me give you a hint. No, it's not the viewing numbers.

- First Kill (or whatever its name is) - Never heard of it until, once again, I saw people complaining about the cancelation under shitflix posts. Once again, guess whose fault that is.

- Santa Clarita Diet - Never heard of it. Didn't even know it was canceled until it made it to the list of pissed of people counting how many of them they axed. Whose fault is that?

- Inside Job - Yeah, never heard of it until it got canceled. Also, canceled after they renewed it. Shitflix: guess we changed our minds.

- Archive 81 - Heard of it when the cancelation was announced.

- The OA - Remember just hearing about it through the fog, even though it came out years ago.

- Sense 8 - know about it only thanks to fans' videos and fanart. I don't remember shitflix ever mentioning it.

- Lockwood & Co - I know about it thanks to fans spamming posts asking for renewal news.

And the list goes on with, I assume, shows I have never heard of.

I've never seen any of these shows, but my open wound is 1899 that I believe got treated the dirtiest of them all.

I have heard of it two years before the premiere, thanks to a 50 seconds long teaser that got me patiently waiting for years because it was my cup of tea. It came from the people who proved themselves before by creating a critically acclaimed show that you can find on a top 10 list of greatest shows of all time. Those people have spent years developing a new filming technique for shitflix. What a way to say thank you.

8 out of 10 people around me have seen 1899. Those people haven't even seen GoT or LotR for fucks sake, the most famous show and movie ever, but they have seen 1899. But not because shitflix promoted it, but because people did.

There was zero promotion, zero cast interviews, zero mentions after the release. It was still watched and talked about by so many people. It has more viewing hours than their hit shows running for 3+ seasons put together. It's a show you can't just binge and forget, you have to actually turn your fucking brain on. It was released in the most busy time of the year, during the damn World Cup and winter holidays. It was still number one for weeks. It was given less than 30 days. They decided to cancel it before it even premiered. They deleted the trailer with 10+ million views from YT.

The same goes with other shows. I have seen zero cast interviews, zero promotion or mentions by their own platform and they still have loyal fan bases that didn't stop talking about them.

But then you have dogshit shows like the Night agent that is getting hyped by shtflix every single fucking day. Fake numbers, pumped up to get people to watch a generic, a hundred times seen before, piece of crap. It got more hype than fucking GoT, and yet I know zero people who have actually watched it. Yep, there is no one I know, in real life or online, that has actually watched this show. So you figure it out.

People who have watched the shows I've mentioned probably have the statistics for them, and have probably seen the viewing hours being blamed for it, which was bullshit.

The latest nail in the coffin was Lockwood & Co. They kept fans waiting for months, and then they announced the cancelation during Eurovision so that fans wouldn't be able to go viral about it because everyone talked about fucking Eurovision.

Shitflix has canceled 26 sci-fi/fantasy shows in the last 3 years. 26! Do you all remember when we couldn't even name 26 shows of all genres put together, let alone watch them?

What all these shows had in common is that they were original and more or less unique and creative, not something you can find at least 6 copies of in either streaming or network TV.

It's like they created all these shows just so they can cancel them, because they are doing their best to actually burn every trace they ever existed.

Shitflix is killing creativity in every form, but in the end, that will be their undoing.

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Cater Diamond - Playful Dress Vignette

"The biggest viral hit is waiting"

[Playful Land – Bazaar]

Cater: Hmmm, I can't find any… All the posts on Magicam said I'd be able to see 'em on the bricks or tiles.

Cater: Maybe they'd be easier to find near the show venues or rides… But I feel like there's something off around here.

Jack: ......? What's he doing?

Cater: AHHH!! I FOUND ONE!!

[snap, snap!!]

Jack: Ack!? Wh-what's going on!?

Cater: Oh hey, Jack-kun. What's up?

Jack: That should be my line. Looked like you were just crouching there for some reason, and then suddenly you yelled out.

Cater: Ah～ Sorry, sorry ☆ I guess I got a little carried away.

Cater: So, actually, your boy Cay-kun here's in the middle of searching for "Hidden Foxes." See, look at this!

Jack: You mean at the keyhole in the door? Lookin' a little closer, it kind of looks like a shape I've seen somewhere else…

Cater: That's right, that keyhole is shaped like the silhouette of Playful Land's mascot, the "Friendly Fox."

Cater: These are super rare photo ops that only the people who've come to Playful Land'll have been able to find and post online!

Cater: These are hidden in various places throughout the park… Searching for them is just another fun thing to do here.

Cater: Fellow-kun was also telling me that there's a rumor that finding one can bring you some joy, too.

Cater: I've been looking around ever since we entered the park, and I finally found this one.

Jack: Sounds interesting. Playful Land itself is already supposed to be a pretty mysterious place, so I'm surprised there's even more hidden stuff inside of it.

Cater: Right!? I got a feeling that the biggest viral hit is waiting for Cay-kun!

Cater: Since you're here with me, you wanna search with me, Jack-kun? If you find one, maybe something good will happen ♪

Jack: No, I'm… I'm good. I don't believe in wishes or superstitions, so.

Cater: Ehh～? But c'mon, think about it. This is something hiding in that already mysterious Playful Land, right?

Cater: Doesn't it kinda… Get your heart pumping?

Jack: My… heart pumping?

Cater: Yeah. Think of it like a challenge that Playful Land is giving us.

Cater: I bet the higher-ups of this amusement park are thinking, "There's no way any of them will be able to enjoy everything Playful Land has to offer in one day."

Cater: BUT WOULDN'T IT SUCK TO JUST PLAY RIGHT INTO THAT!?

Cater: That's why I want to do everything and come out victorious over all the little hidden secrets, so that I can say, "I saw everything Playful Land had to offer!"

Jack: Oh, that totally makes sense! …Not.

Cater: Maaan, so you don't feel the same～ Tch.

Jack: Heh. But I guess… I'm not completely against the idea of coming out victorious over all the little hidden secrets.

Cater: Right, right? So whaddya think? Wanna stick with your pal Cay-kun for a bit?

Jack: …Guess so. You might be from a different dorm, but you're still an upperclassman, so I can't ignore your offer. I'll join you for about 10 minutes, then.

Cater: Yay ♪ Okay, let's look around this Bazaar, then!

Cater: There's usually a ton of people that pass through these kinds of places, so I feel like there should be a bunch around here.

Jack: That makes sense. I mean, even if it's supposed to be hidden, it'd be meaningless if no one could find it at all.

Cater: Yup, yup. Mmkay, we'll split up to look for the Hidden Foxes, and meet back up here in 10 minutes!

Cater: Jack-kun, hey-o～☆ …Oooh, based on the look on your face, did you find one of the Hidden Foxes?

Jack: Yes, I found one. I'll show you where.

Jack: The Hidden Fox I found is here on the trash can at the foot of the street lamp. See, right here.

Cater: You're right, this part of the trash can lid is dented in the shape of a fox! Great find, Jack-kun!

[snap, snap!]

Cater: As for me, I found one on the window pane of this building. A part of it was frosted in the shape of a fox.

Cater: But I think this one was an easy find. It's right at eye level, and it's super easy to see even from inside the building.

Cater: I want the next one to be just as difficult to find as the one you got, Jack-kun～

Cater: Don't you think you felt a little jolt of excitement when you found it?

Jack: …Honestly, I was all, "All right!"

Cater: Ahaha! Seein' you happy makes me happy ♪

Cater: I'm gonna head towards the rides and search there next… How about you, Jack?

Jack: I guess at this point, I'm already along for the ride. I'll come with.

Cater: Awesomeee. Then, we're gonna find as many Hidden Foxes as we can before our free time is up!

[Playful Land – Catch The Star]

Cater: Hmmm, I'm not finding any Hidden Foxes around the Catch the Star ride.

Cater: It was pretty easy finding the ones at the Brawl Bungalow and the roller coaster, though.

Cater: Jack-kun, how's it looking for you?

Jack: I went and looked around the queues, but didn't see any Hidden Foxes, either.

Jack: …I'm assuming the large image of the "Friendly Fox" smack dab in the middle of the Catch the Star wheel doesn't count. 'Specially 'cause it's not hidden.

Cater: Ahaha, yeah. But anyway, let's keep searching for a bit longer. I don't want to give up like this… Oh?

???: Ah, hello! What an opportune meeting, you two!

Cater: Hi, hi, Fellow-kun and Gidel-kun～☆

Fellow: It seems to me like you are enjoying a stroll around the park without even getting on any rides… Oh, are you perhaps in search of those Hidden Foxes?

Cater: Yup. We've found 6 already.

Fellow: Oh my! How astounding! You've found 6 already. I should have expected no less from such accomplished scholars of your prestigious academy. Splendid!

Jack: If I recall, we found one in Gentle Square, 3 in the Bazaar, and one each in the Brawl Bungalow and roller coaster areas.

Jack: They're actually pretty hard to spot… I definitely feel like there's one hidden around here, too.

Fellow: Quite right, the one hidden in this area is very difficult to search for, and there are many who are unable to find it.

Fellow: However… You both found all the Hidden Foxes in every other area. This is the last one!

Cater: REALLY!? THEN WE'RE SO CLOSE TO COMPLETE VICTORY!

Fellow: Exactly! I'm sure you brilliant students will be able to find it in no time. Fahahah!

Fellow: Well, anyway, I'm sure you're exhausted from walking around. Why not take a short break and put your feet up for a little while?

Fellow: Perhaps if you relax a moment, and take in the scenery… You may see something that you couldn't see before.

Cater: …?

Jack: Didn't it seem like Fellow-san was trying to tell us something very specific? Something about seeing something we couldn't see before.

Cater: Yeah, he was. Maybe it was a hint for finding a Hidden Fox.

Cater: …Oh, hey! Jack-kun, let's go ride the Catch the Star wheel.

Jack: Huh?

Cater: He said to relax a moment and take in the scenery… Doesn't that sound like a hint to ride that?

Jack: Maybe… I guess our perspective would change if we got on it. Let's join the line right away, then.

Jack: …No success in the end, huh.

Jack: There wasn't one in the gondola we were in, at the very least.

Cater: Hrrrm～ I was looking for something that might have looked like the shape of a fox from high up, but… Guess that was a bust.

Cater: I guess Fellow-kun wouldn't have given us a hint that easy, huh. That sucks.

Jack: Yeah…  But there's no way I'd be happy with giving up and heading to another attraction.

Jack: Cater-senpai. We're definitely going to find the Hidden Foxes in this area, no matter what.

Cater: Yeeah! You're on fire, Jack-kun! Cay-kun'll have to work harder to keep up～

Cater: But man, we're really not having any luck finding it at all. What if it's actually in an easier place to find?

Cater: Since he said to take a short break, maybe it's on a bench… But there's no way it'd be that easy.

Cater: …Hm? Hm? Hm? Hm??

Cater: AAAAAHH!? JACK-KUN, LOOK! LOOK AT THAT BENCH SEAT!

Jack: Cater-senpai, what is it?

Jack: …AH! If I look more closely, it's carved in the shop of a fox. This has to be a Hidden Fox!

Cater: I-It was here the whole time and we didn't notice at all. Right in front of us…

Cater: When Fellow said to take a short break and put our feet up, that hint was basically the whole answer, huh.

Jack: Looks like we just overthought it.

Cater: Ahaha! But man, I feel like we totally accomplished something amazing! Doesn't that really make you feel like we really did see everything they had to offer!?

Jack: Yup. It's a pretty good feeling.

Cater: Hey, Jack-kun. Let's take a pic with this Hidden Fox in the background! I promise I won't upload it onto Magicam.

Jack: Eh? I thought you'd want to post it on Magicam to prove that you were "victorious" over Playful Land.

Cater: Mmm, but after I thought about it a bit, if I uploaded it all to Magicam, then it wouldn't be a secret spot anymore, would it?

Cater: But I do want to snag a pic to remember this moment by. That's 'cause…

Cater: Being able to take a selfie with one of my underclassmen alongside a Hidden Fox that we worked so hard to find…

Cater: Chances to take an awesome pic like this doesn't come often.

Jack: …Makes sense. Then, make it quick.

Cater: Yay ♪ Alright then, pose like the wooden puppet in Wish Upon a Star, and…

Cater: …SAY CHEESE!

Requested by @farfalla049.

[yellobb]

Tell me about ye olde "cold case outline"

Ooooo I was hoping someone asked about this one when I first posted the ask game!!!!

From this ask game

Cold Case Outline

This is another WIP that my sister and I did that we actually fully fleshed out, but I am still holding out a bit of hope that one day I’ll actually write the damn thing.

Simon is a mechanic and Baz is an Instagram model. They first meet when Baz brings his Jag in, and he’s immediately enamored with Simon in his oil-stained tank top, messy curls, and freckles. Simon immediately falls in love with Baz’s Jag and fawns over it, which does not help Baz’s predicament. He starts coming to the shop as often as possible with any excuse he can think of (oil change, tire rotation, “the building is just very aesthetic, Snow, so I need you to take my picture while I pose all sexy”). He even keys his own car at one point to have an excuse to visit him (it was a moment of desperation and he’s not proud of it, but he stands by his actions).

Simon lives with Penny and Shepard. Shepard is very into true crime and is hoping to start a podcast of his own about it. Shep visits Simon at work one day, but he gets very quiet and starts staring at Baz when he walks in to drop off the Jag, looking like he’s seen a ghost. Baz is visibly uncomfortable, so Simon kicks Shep out until Baz is good to go. He asks Shep what the hell that was all about afterwards, and Shep is like “that’s Baz Pitch”. “Yeah, and?” “Like, Natasha and Malcolm Grimm-Pitch’s son?! From the 2002 Olympics! Do you think he’d let me interview him for my podcast?”

It turns out, Baz isn’t just mildly famous for his Instagram presence. In 2002, when he was just five years old, his mother was an Olympic figure skater. The day of her event, she didn’t show up to warm-ups. She was found dead under suspicious circumstances over a week later. There are clips of some of her last moments where she acts erratically that went viral, and her case has fascinated the public ever since.

We didn’t get far on actually writing out this story, but what I did finish is a news report that explains the circumstances of Natasha’s death 👀 I’ve included it under the cut if anyone wants to read it! I’m actually pretty damn proud of how it turned out and have always wanted to share it, so I hope y’all enjoy :)

Natasha Grimm-Pitch Death Still Stumps People 20 Years Later

Natasha Grimm-Pitch, world-renowned ice dance figure skater from Great Britain and 3x Olympic medalist, went missing on February 9th, 2002. That morning, her husband and partner, Malcolm Grimm, woke up to find she had not returned in the night. Assuming she had stayed the night with her sister, Fiona Pitch, who had traveled with the pair in order to watch their 5-year-old son, Tyrannus Grimm-Pitch, while they competed, Grimm got ready for the day’s competition, but began to grow worried when Pitch met him at the Salt Lake Ice Center without her sister. She had met Grimm to take Tyrannus, known as “Baz” by those close to the family, but was shocked to find out that Grimm-Pitch had not returned to the couple’s room in the Olympic Village.

“Nat had come over the night before, yeah,” Pitch said, when interviewed about the disappearance the day after the event. “She came over to my hotel room to get some stress relief. I mean, this was her moment. She’d been out of the public eye for a while, after having Baz, and felt like she needed to medal in order to prove herself. I couldn’t tell you who she was proving herself to, though. She never cared what other people thought of her; not even me.”

Grimm was hesitant to alert the police, hoping that his wife had stayed with a teammate, but couldn’t hesitate any longer once warm-up was scheduled to start and she had yet to make an appearance.

“Nat would never have missed a warm-up, especially not now. She’s always on time. Something happened to her,” Grimm told the press the day of the disappearance. Grimm-Pitch’s disappearance caused a stir in the Olympic Village, especially amongst her teammates.

“I knew Natasha. That woman was a force to be reckoned with. When I heard that Malcolm had forfeited their position, I knew something was wrong. Everyone was uneasy as soon as we heard. I think we all knew, deep down, what must have happened. None of us even saw Natasha take a sick day. There was no way in hell she was going to let something stop her from competing again,” said teammate, Mitali Bunce, a year after her disappearance.

A mass investigation was launched into the disappearance, with state and local police leading the search. Grimm searched the streets with his sister-in-law in the hopes of finding her, often leaving their child in the care of the other British athletes. Though the ice dance competition continued, this would not be the case for long.

Natasha Grimm-Pitch’s body was found, washed-up in nearby Farmington Bay, on February 20th, just over a week after her disappearance. The Olympic Village, and the world, watched on in shock as her death was officially announced by the Salt Lake City Police Department at 11:08 AM. The Olympic Committee officially suspended what remained of the ice dance competition that evening, putting out a statement about the tragedy:

“In light of the recent tragedy involving ice dancer, Natasha Grimm-Pitch, the Olympic Committee has unanimously decided to suspend the ice dance competition for the remainder of the Olympic season. We ask the figure skating community to come together at this time to honor her legacy and mourn her loss. The Committee will reconvene in the next month to determine when the events will be completed.”

Her body was flown back to the family’s home in Hampshire, UK, but the FBI stayed in contact with British authorities for the resulting investigation. In the coming months, the mystery only grew. According to her autopsy, Grimm-Pitch had been dead for around 230 hours, placing her death sometime on the evening of February 10th, the day after she went missing. To make the case more shocking, she had only been submerged in the water for five days upon being found, meaning there was a six day gap between her death and her body being, supposedly, dumped in the bay. Despite this, she appeared to have died of natural causes, with nothing to indicate that she had resisted an attacker. There were already rumors in the news surrounding foul play, but things really exploded once security camera footage was made publicly available in April 2002.

In a now infamous clip, Grimm-Pitch is shown entering the Olympic Village at 3:00 AM, missing her shoes and the bag her sister claimed she left her hotel room with. Grimm-Pitch appears to be disoriented, running to hide behind walls and looking around wildly, despite no one being in the vicinity. The footage lasts six minutes, with Grimm-Pitch circling the building she was staying in, even briefly entering the entranceway before stumbling back out.

Her erratic behaviour combined with the confounding circumstances around her actual death threw the media into a frenzy. Every major news outlet reported for over a month with updates in the case, but no suspects were ever identified. It seemed that there were no leads whatsoever. The figure skating community and the true crime community alike waited with bated breaths to find if her death was ruled a suicide, homicide, or accident.

Unfortunately, the answer never came. In 2013, the case was unofficially closed after over a decade with no new information. The case has gone down as one of the most shocking and mysterious disappearances in British and American history alike. The Grimms and Pitches are still desperate for answers, though.

A year after the death of his wife, Malcolm Grimm officially announced his campaign for Prime Minister in the United Kingdom. Despite critics saying he was using Grimm-Pitch’s death to further his political aspirations, which had begun in 1997 with the birth of his son, he won the seat. With his victory, the most popular conspiracy theory surrounding Grimm-Pitch’s death was born.

Many people believe that Grimm knew their performance would fail, leading to them fading from the public eye. To prevent this, Grimm chose to murder his wife and use the sympathy he garnered following her death to get elected. He, allegedly, drugged her, waited for her to die, and hid her body in their room until, six days later, the police grew suspicious of him, so he dumped her body in the bay as a cover-up. Proponents of this theory claim that the mortician performing the autopsy was paid off to lie about finding drugs in her system.

Another popular theory surrounds Fiona Pitch. Pitch has a record of substance abuse, so theories have circulated about her, accidentally or otherwise, giving Grimm-Pitch more than she could handle (despite multiple sources stating that she never used drugs). The theory states that Grimm-Pitch managed to leave her sister’s hotel room before she started experiencing delusions and paranoia. Her sister, who had aided in the search for her, then found her body six days later, dead from overdose, and dumped her in the bay to avoid indicating herself in manslaughter. Many point to a 1995 case involving Pitch where her boyfriend, Nicodemus Petty, overdosed in their London apartment. Pitch herself barely survived the ordeal, but was saved when Petty’s sister, Ebeneza Petty, happened to visit that morning and was able to call paramedics. Pitch was convicted of illegal substance abuse and spent five years in rehabilitation facilities. She claims that she has been clean ever since.

Others believe that it was simply a case of mania, despite Grimm-Pitch’s nearly spotless mental health record. She had been prescribed Wellbutrin following the birth of her son, but stopped using it after only a year. To this day, the case remains unsolved.

Despite the rumors surrounding the family, they have seen unbelievable success. Grimm still enjoys a successful political career, but the star of the show is Tyrannus “Baz” Grimm-Pitch. He has grown a large following online, amassing thirty million followers on his Instagram since its creation in 2018. Grimm-Pitch enjoys a life as an Instagram model with an estimated net worth of nearly $10 million. Despite being in the limelight since his mother’s death, he has yet to publicly comment on the infamous case. His aunt acts as his manager, but abstains from all public appearances.