#if anyone wants to commission me to write more of my fanfiction now is the time XD

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Consider: one of my gods gives me the ability to clone myself so I can write my commissions and my personal projects at the same time without burning out

[flecks-of-stardust]

Donation Commissions for Palestine (PAUSED)

I am opening commissions in exchange for donations to any particular fundraiser I choose for any given day. I am not asking you to donate to me. Payment involves showing proof of donation to the selected channels, and we will discuss from there.

I am opening commissions primarily for writing and fiber arts patterns. If you are unfamiliar with my written work, my old pinned post has links to the work I've done in the past. Additionally, my AO3 is flecks_of_stardust. I am focusing on fanfiction for writing commissions.

The general run down of this process is as follows: You have the option to donate to either the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund or a selected fundraiser for the day. I will change the fundraiser selected for any particular day at 11 am Pacific Time. The selected fundraiser is chosen from the Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser List. To commission me, you must donate to either the PCRF or the chosen fundraiser and send proof of donation to me through DMs. Please ensure that the fundraiser you donate to matches the one I have selected for today. Once I have received proof of your donation, we can discuss the commission.

More specifics on donations are under the cut.

The fundraiser for now is for the Abu Ramadan family.

General Policies

I am but one person, so there are limits to what I can do. For each donation category, there are a limited number of commission slots that can be taken up. Once those slots are filled up, I will temporarily close commissions for that category. Proof of donation is accepted based on the time you DM me. However, if all my slots are taken, even if you have sent me appropriate proof of donation, I cannot take on your commission until a slot is open. I will notify you when I've taken on your commission should this happen to you.

In the event that this happens to anyone, I will list the overflow slots next to the commission slots. Overflow slots indicate how many people have shown me proper proof of donation, but are not currently having their commission being worked on. This is an estimate of how long it may take for me to get to your commission.

Some notes and rules that apply to all the commission categories:

Donation to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund does not include the processing fee. You must donate the whole dollar to PCRF. This means that if you're donating only a dollar, your actual charge is going to be around 1.35 USD. Keep this in mind for the donation categories; if less than 1 USD goes to PCRF, I cannot accept your donation. Similarly, PCRF must receive at least 2 USD in full for me to accept your donation for the lowest writing commission category.

I will not make anything involving NSFW content, but I am okay with a certain extent of gore and violence. Discuss it with me. I have the right to refuse to create anything I'm uncomfortable with, but I am willing to negotiate.

You will not get anything extra from donating more than the commission category you're asking for, but it's very kind of you if you choose to do so.

I am extremely aromantic. Please keep that in mind if you want me to create something romantic. It is highly likely I cannot deliver, and I recommend you ask someone else.

Do not send me an ask with proof of donation. I need a reliable means to discuss with you, and an ask is not that. You have to DM me. You may request to communicate over Discord if you already know what my username is there, but primarily I will be communicating through Tumblr DMs.

Though all prices are listed in USD, I do not need you to pay in USD. This is just a relative measure of pricing. If your native currency is not USD and/or the payment doesn't display in USD, please let me know what it is so I can confirm how much you've donated.

I will refuse all offers for extensions. While the gesture is sweet, my goal is to get more donations out, not to polish every commission I do to the best I could manage. Quantity over quality, if you will. While I'll make sure to make my commission pieces as high quality as I can manage, if you're really concerned about the quality of what I create, I suggest you commission someone else.

In general, these are the media I am comfortable doing commissions for:

Hollow Knight

Rain World (Downpour included)

Bug Fables

If you'd like to request something that isn't on this list, note that I will only be accepting commission requests for fan media that I am familiar with, and where an exchange of money is allowed. One example is Team Cherry's explicit permission for small scale selling of fan merch. If I cannot confirm it and you do not show me proof that it is allowed, I will refuse your request.

If you at any point violate the rules I have stated in this post and any additional rules I may issue upon discussion of the commission, I reserve the right to refuse future requests to take your commissions even with proper proof of donation. If you do not respect my time and energy, I will not entertain you.

If you are unable to donate yourself, please spread this post around, and I welcome you to follow my lead! There's more than one way to get donations to the people that need it.

Writing (0/3)

Because I want to get through these commissions fast, I will not be spending more than 3 days or 12 total writing hours, whichever comes first, on each commission. I will be churning out these commissions as fast as possible while maintaining as satisfactory a level of writing quality as I can manage. To reflect this, the word counts and the prices for each word count are relatively low:

2 USD - approximately 500 words (hard limit 800) [must donate to PCRF due to donation limitations]

5 USD - approximately 1000 words (hard limit 1500)

10 USD - approximately 2000 words (hard limit 2500)

In the interest of time, I will not be taking original fiction requests. I will allow OCs, but you must let me know specifics on how you'd like me to write them. I am most confident working with canon characters, but please specify the type of characterization you want if you don't want me to use my own characterization.

Once the commission is complete, the completed work will be posted to a Donations for Palestine collection on AO3 unless you decline it. Additionally, you are discouraged from posting the finished commission in public spaces, but if you do so, then you must credit me without making edits to my writing. If you post it on Tumblr, please tag me in your post.

Fiber Arts Patterns (0/2)

I'm also willing to provide you with crochet or knitting amigurumi patterns. I will not send you the finished product. I will, however, send a picture of the finished product alongside the pattern. I will spend a maximum of 10 days on each pattern, and the resulting product will not be larger than 4"x4"x4"/10cmx10cmx10cm in approximate size. Pricing guidelines are as follows:

Baseline price: 12 USD

3 or more colors on the design: +3 USD (be warned that I may not have these colors)

Knitted pattern: +5 USD

I am most comfortable making little animals, and am significantly more familiar with crocheting little dolls than I am with knitting them, though I'm willing to try my hand at that too. I will also try my best to make characters from the above listed media; if you've browsed my crochet and knitting tags, you'll see that I've already made many characters from these franchises, but in much larger dimensions. If I think I'll need the doll to be bigger than my listed dimension limits for the pattern to be viable, I will refuse your request. In either case, please provide a reference picture/drawing of what you'd like me to make, and I'll match it as closely as I'm able to.

The pattern will be delivered to you through a File Garden link to a PDF; please download this PDF, as I may accidentally delete the link later on. Once you have received the pattern, you are not allowed to post it in public spaces. You may, however, post the finished product created from the pattern with credit to me. If you post it on Tumblr, please tag me in the post.

Bonus: Shitty Doodles

If you have less than 2 USD lying around but would still like to donate something, you can still show me proof of donation to PCRF of whatever amount that is for a shitty 10 minute doodle of anything you choose. I will set a timer for 10 minutes and scribble as fast as I can, and what comes out the other side is your commission piece. Do note that this will be a pencil sketch. While I have drawn in the past and consider myself a semi-decent visual artist, it is very much not my forte, hence why I'm not offering it as a serious commission. But if you're down for it, I'm willing to do this too. Just don't expect it to have any sort of quality. Be as ridiculous as you want (as long as you adhere to the above rules)! This is meant to be silly, so pretty much anything goes.

If you have any further questions or concerns, shoot me an ask or a DM. These guidelines will likely be refined as I gain more experience with this.

Major edit on July 10th: I finally noticed that the donation limit for GFM is 5 USD minimum. I have updated the guidelines to allow donation to PCRF as well.

[moonblastbitch]

Yellow card update

Hi ya'll! So I barely use tumblr nowadays, but considering some stuff going on I thought it would be good to do a quick little come back.

So hi! I'm Kit, I write the griddlehark fic Yellow Card with my friend Starr. It's a very silly fanfiction about age difference Harrow and Gideon having an affair and raising a child together. It's pretty well known in TLT fan spaces which I'm super grateful for! It's not an understatement to call this little fic my pride and joy. I've spent the last two years working on it as my little labor of love and it's kinda grown a cult of followers! Really, it's a fun excuse for me and my friend to work on something we care about together. But lately I haven't felt inclined to work on it and I want to talk about why.

Over the last several months I've had some health stuff going on that's resulted in needing two surgeries. Along with that, I moved into a new place and my gf and I are managing some new financial stress. Plus, you know, the general state of democracy in decay all around the world. It doesn't leave me a lot of time or energy to write silly smut fic. Everyone has been very supportive of me taking the time I need to recover and I'm really grateful.

But... this is where I have to address some not great stuff. Today my friend approached me with a fanfiction making fun of my writing. And several posts from someone making fun of the tropes I use in the writing. Now, I want to make this abundantly clear. Absolutely no one is required to like my writing style or fics. I don't write for praise or wealth, just for my own personal happiness. I think everyone is within their right to complain to their friends if they dislike something they read. What I really can't tolerate however is this intense hostility toward myself or my fellow writers. Nor do I appreciate having an entire fic written mocking me or my stylistic choices.

Back when I first joined the TLT fandom in 2020 it was teeny tiny. Now it's a lot less so. It's been so satisfying to see everyone grow and change over the years, and I think I've grown a lot as a writer. Sadly though, I've seen a lot of stupid bullshit. I've seen personal friends of mine targeted in harassment campaigns because they ship the wrong ship. I've been added to public bookmarks complaining about my writing, I've been subtweeted, I've been made fun of. And I think I'm done.

I write for my own pleasure. I write to bond with my friends. I am not writing for homophobic assholes who use my work to mock me, nor make me or my co-writer the target of harassment. So, as a result, Yellow Card and all my other TLT fics are on an immidate hiatus, with the exception of one upcoming commission for the TLT for Palestine charity.

I spent a long time tonight debating if I should even write this post. It seems like by writing this I'd be giving the people making fun of me more ammo. But honestly? I don't care. My feelings are hurt. I am upset. I shouldn't have to hide that because some bullies will take bits of this statement to use in their next bitchy text post.

I want to reiterate something important. I am open to critque on my work. Anyone who has an issue with my writing style is more than welcome to come into my comments and let me know if something isn't flowing right, if there are unfortunate implications of a line I may not have considered, if there is something they personally find a bit distasteful. Sadly, the people doing this skipped right to mockery and ridicule, and that is unacceptable.

What drew me to this fandom in the first place was Muir's openness to her background in fanworks. She clearly takes such pride knowing her book series has spawned into a wild, happy fandom writing crack silliness and serious character study alike. Because that is what fandom is for. Having fun in a big beautiful sandbox, creating art with friends. And I treasure that deeply, even as I am forced to walk away from a space I love.

TLDR: TLT fandom is full of dicks. And not the kind I write about.

Thank you to everyone whose offered me kindness and support over the years! I truly appreciate you all. If you wanna stay in contact, it's easiest to find me over on twitter @moonblastbitch or discord (same name)

[purplebehittindifferent]

FAQ!!!!

before asking, check this out!

How many comic series do you have?

TLDR: As of currently I have 3!

Reconnecting: my deltarune fan comic. It is completed and the masterpost can be found on my pinned.

SpiderVerse: this is completed… for now. I had more plans but they fell through as the friends I had planned to do them with, left. Link on pinned.

IEYTD: this is just little comics scattered about, masterpost in on my pinned :)

RULE5: coming soon!

(if you would like more masterposts send an ask <3)

Is there going to be more reconnecting??!

TLDR: kind of? vvv

There will be no more COMIC/DRAWN content related to reconnecting (at least no more than the occasional doodle.) but I do plan to keep writing fanfiction on Ao3 to continue the story as long as it will go.

Can I send prompts for fics or art?:

Of course! Just know I might not be able to do them all!

Your art is online and your AO3 is open! aren't you scared AI is going to steal it!?:

TLDR: my ao3 will remain open, my art will always be here vvv

I hate AI stealing creators' content as much as everyone else does. However, more so, I want anyone to be able to access real art. I have selected all of the available options to keep my works from being taken, and am very aware that the only way to keep my work safe on AO3 is to close it to guests. 

It took me, an avid fanfic reader, 4 years to get an Ao3 account. I care more about you guys being able to read what makes you happy and feeds your brain worms, than I care about my writing being stolen for this AI boom we are living in. It would tear me apart if you wanted to access my writing but had to wait so long for an account. 

I do not support AI in any form that replaces human beings, and though I know eventually I may never be able to have my work safe from AI on any platform, I will keep sharing it, and downright refuse to take it down. 

Taking all of my art down in fear of AI will be something I never do. In that way AI will kill me just as much as if it started stealing my work. Art is meant to be seen and shared. They will not take that from us.

I believe there is a group of people who like real artwork and writing made by real people. And I keep my trust in those people to see the value in non AI generated content. 

We will persevere.

Is fanart allowed?

TLDR: YES

SO MUCH YES. I BEG PLEASE PLEASE if you create fan content of my content or content inspired by my content, that is absolutely as long as I am either credited or @ on the post so I can see!!!

Where can I read RULE5?

TLDR: Rule5 isn't released yet!

Rule 5 is my original comic in progress, I have posted teaser art and some concept stuff. The hope is that it will start releasing weekly in early 2025. I am completing all the art first, so that it can have a consistent upload schedule and I can relax for a while. Trust me when I say- I will not shut up once it is available.

I want to make a comic but don't know where to start…

TLDR: DM me!!

My DMs are always open to genuine questions! I've actually spoken with many people who wanted to start their own series and have been told it's been helpful!

Though my biggest advice is GO FOR IT!!!!! The first couple updates might not gain a ton of traction right away, but persevere, keep going, and @ me so I can reblog it to help support you!!!

Are you LGBTQ+?

TLDR: nope :) cishet.

Many people have asked me this lol

Where can I find the masterposts and links to your other socials?

They are all on my pinned!!!

You have mental disorders + illnesses… What are they?

Respectfully it is none of your business. I try to spread awareness because I believe that is very important, but I also try to keep my personal things personal. If i'm ever outright about something, feel free to ask questions, and if i'm uncomfortable I will just say I do not wish to answer <3

How do I commission you?

There is a link on my Ko-Fi that goes to my comms!

 If you have any questions before ordering you can DM me anytime. Click the option you want, order it, and it will give you instructions from there. I check my orders once a day. If you set your order and I have not gotten back to you, please DM me it's possible I missed it.

Do you/will you draw NSFW and post it?

Not here.

Are you really in my walls?

Yep. I'm not kidding. That skittering you hear? It's me. Go hydrate yourself or I'll steal all your left shoes.

I found your work reposted without credit, should I tell you?

Yes please tell me!! I have not found any of my stuff randomly reposted without credit but I'm sure it will happen someday.

What art program do you use?

I use procreate! I highly recommend, as far as the brushes go, I use all of the base ones that come with the app itself. Nothing fancy.

Will you draw my OC?

If you commission me! sure!

if theres any more questions you think should be added here LMK

[orphiclovers]

Hmm, now that I've actually read a different translation of Yoo Mia side story I feel way better about my own. In some places they matched almost perfectly, in some places the other person made a mistake, in some places I made a mistake they didn't, in some places the original was unclear and we both made the same editorial choices and in some places we made different ones, where I still have no idea who is right... at least now I know what's what, and that my back alley Yoo Mia side story version was actually real (I had been quietly worried it was fanfiction someone tricked me into thinking was official. But no. Now I've gotten multiple seperate sources confirming it's the real deal.)

I was afraid of accidentally inserting my own bias into the Yoo Mia side story with my fumbling attempts at editing, so I left a lot of unclear parts as they are, even if it looked bad. But, now I had the golden opportunity to double check those parts that I was unsure about, which I'm super grateful for, obviously! I see the other translator struggled in some of the same places I did.

Like, at the very beginning when Yoo Joonghyuk gets into Kang Woohyun's car and they talk. The other translators version is like this.

And here is what google translate gave me when I was making my version the first time.

I thought it was an obvious translation error because wtf why does he say the words twice? So this is how I edited it.

But now I'm thinking maybe it was in the original too, only meant to show Kang Woohyun was repeating the words while emphasizing the sylables. So if I was editing it now, I would do it something like this.

"I still eat well."

"Just lettuce and chicken breast, right? What diet is that? You have to eat rice. Rice! And beef too."

...That's as natural sounding as I could make it, anyway.

I won't do a total side-by-side comparison of every scene, since Yoo Mia side story is more than 12k words long and I'm not that crazy. There's a lot more little things like this. I'll just point out the most important one. (I know I'm the only person who cares this much but let me nerd out for a minute okay?)

I MISSED A PAGE! My back-alley version of the original just...didn't have it, even if everything before and after was the same. Here it is.

This is a totally new part that I've never seen before, but it's so real!!!

I FUCKING KNEW YOO MIA HAD A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT!!! I was actually writing a meta/theory post on it just now, it's in my drafts and everything (might still publish it if anyone's interested) since it was implied in the main story too but I don't know if a lot of people noticed. But because for some reason my Yoo Mia side story was missing the one single paragraph it was confirmed in, it was just a theory of mine. Now confirmed. Holy shit. I feel like fucking Matpat.

I don't know if anyone would be interested in me re-editing Yoo Mia side story with the missing page + fixing the errors I made the first time? I'll make a poll.

(Psssssst. If a real translator who actually knows Korean wants to give me their Yoo Mia side story version I would be eternally grateful and like. give u a free art commission or something 👀😊)

[red-handed-tamarin]

tam is opening writing REQUESTS (free)

CURRENT QUEUE STATUS: DOING THIS AGAIN BUT QUEUE IS CURRENTLY FULL

These are not commissions, though in some administrative ways they may be treated as such (i.e. a queue with limited slots, attempted adherence to prompts, due dates / limited time turnaround etc.). I will be opening up a queue to write pieces FOR FREE. See below for guidance!

~~

How many slots will be open?

For now I'll be opening three slots at a time. This seems like the most manageable number for me at the moment but could change in the future.

~~

What is the word count limit for requests?

The absolute minimum word count will be 300. The maximum word count offered will likely be 1000, but in general, I'll be shooting for the 500-800 word range.

~~

What kind of requests are you taking?

There are MANY things I'd be very happy to write, so don't feel limited by the will-write list below; anything not specifically blacklisted can be requested, but I reserve the right to turn down any request for any reason at any time.

WILL WRITE:

fanfiction, original fiction, or nonfiction (such as meta)

first, second, or third person

OCs, reader inserts

any non-PWP genre

a variety of formats

most kinks

incest

ao3 categorical archive warnings: rape, underage, graphic violence, character death

WON'T WRITE (BLACKLIST):

real people fiction (rpf) involving anyone who is NOT the requester; I'm willing to write the requester into the story if that is desired

harry potter or any jk rowling content

pure smut (I'm just no good at it)

scat/watersports

woundfucking

MASTERLIST OF MY FANDOMS (wip) (don't feel beholden to this, I'm just providing it for inspiration and reference)

~~

What do I need to include in my request?

The following elements are critical for any request (please ensure they are included!):

characters/ships and what media they're from

a specific scenario

a desired resolution

squicks / do not writes (DNWs)

whether you are OPEN to nsfw content or would prefer all SFW

information about an OC or self-insert: name/nickname, pronouns, physical description and style, personality, relevant backstory points

Optional elements include (I can't make any guarantees but I'll see what fits!):

preferred genres

favorite tropes

any and all additional information about OCs/self-inserts. I'm very interested in every little detail, please share!!

Here are some examples of strong, viable requests:

"please write yusuke and kuwabara from yu yu hakusho having a beach day together with a kiss at the end! I don't like poly, so please don't include that, and I'm not interested in NSFW at this time. I also prefer fluff and friends-to-lovers, and I don't mind if it's first person."

"I request dick grayson and jason todd, both batman characters, training together while jason is robin. it can be open-ended, but there should be a mutual attraction there. jason can be and probably should be underage in this, but not younger than 14. would love to see nsfw content if the mood strikes."

"I'm looking for someone to write for my OC, who is a pokemon trainer based on myself. here's a link (x) to my character's profile on my tumblr. it would be really fun if this OC could be shipped with brock; they're both 15 at the time. I really want them duking it out at a pokemon gym. my character should win and then brock should ask my character on a date. please keep it SFW and pretty vanilla, but I really like flirty text messages, so if you wanted to make textfic part of it, that would be cool."

"can you do some analytical nonfiction about anakin's relationship with droids in star wars, and how it has to do with his history as a slave? I personally think he personifies things that people depersonify because of that, but I'd like to know your take. if you have anything to say about sexual violence please tag it and put it under a read more, that stuff upsets me."

~~

How do I submit a request?

You can submit a request either on or off anon on tumblr, or you can use this google survey!

Notes:

Writing pieces will typically have a turnaround of two weeks or less. This is NOT a guarantee.

Once written, the piece will be posted publicly to my AO3 and I will tag you. Please let me know if you want to remain anonymous! Requests CAN be made anonymously on tumblr, but I won't be able to tag you upon completion, so please make sure to subscribe on AO3!

I will never knowingly use AI for any aspect of my writing.

Please signal boost this post!

[youngcollectedtired]

Just finished mha season 6. And yes I’m behind okay. Like leave me alone.

Just have a few things to say uhhh

I couldn’t be a hero. Cause someone in public would come up to me and call me a false hero and I’d slap the ever loving crap out of them. Anyone would say something about Deku and it would be overrrr. Don’t play with me.

Ochago is THAT girl. That is all.

Bakugo’s apology????

Dabi is bat crazy. And idk I find it hilarious.

Twice did not deserve his end.

Class 1a has come so far. It’s unreal??? I’ve read so many reaction short stories and books and I love them so much because just imagine season 1 class 1a seeing themselves in season 6???

I used to have a crush on hawks just based on looks when I started season 1. And then I lost interest when I didn’t see him for like 3 seasons?? But I’m in love. I was a shigaraki girly. And let me just say. He did his thing. He did his thug thizzle (His voice change in season 5 ruined my lifeeee) But idk hawks???? Is just so boyfriend???? And baby hawks>>>>>

And I feel like season 6 is FanFiction or something because that entire season gave me everything I wanted to explore in an mha world. An assassin who worked for the hero commission??? Check. Deku as a vigilante??? Check. Shigaraki having a power increase??? Check. Tartarus having a prison break and all the villains getting loose??? Check. The list goes onnnn.

And did I look back at my old FanFiction seven though I’m an adult who no longer has the time to write??? Yes. Did I start writing a prologue to a book I’ll never finish?? Nooooo what are you talking about? Have faith in me. (Yeah… I did)

Yeah for now that’s all I got. I’m sure I have more thoughts but I’m tired rn.

[shsy7573]

Something

A Voltron Fanfiction by shsy7573 a langst addict

Description: As torturous as a war with the Galra is, it’s nothing compared to the constant mockery from inside Lance’s mind. When the team partakes in a training exercise designed to help them confront their insecurities, and grow closer as a team, Lance knows he’s screwed. No way they’ll want him around once they see how pathetic he really is. Will our favourite Blue Paladin be able to hide his misery, from the team, or will he break, and reveal to the team just how much he hates himself?

Info: Langst. Hurt/comfort. Original Paladins. Tbh this is probably one of my weaker fics. It’s not really descriptive. Mainly just focused on the feelings. Nonetheless, I’ve always enjoyed rereading it because of the concept.

Relationships: Klance, but it’s mild. Barely there.

Note: Tumblr kinda jacked up the formatting. I seriously need to get myself an AO3 account, but writing for that site intimidates me for whatever reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lance scanned the battlefield, his heart pumping rapidly as the supposedly easygoing mission went off the rails. They had planned to take over a small, low activity Galra base to try and find more information on what Zarkon and his people were planning. Unfortunately, this “low activity” base ended up being extremely more well defended than they’d thought.

There were Galra ships everywhere, spread out across the sky like a giant beehive. The Paladins were swamped, and the Castle of Lions had been forced to draw back for risk of colossal damage. With all the chaos, there was no opportunity to converge and form Voltron. Each Paladin was, for the most part, on their own.

And Lance was drowning.

He veered swiftly to the left as a Galra ship charged him from behind. Kieth flew by at the exact same time, and if it had been anyone other than The Red Paladin, there would have been a collision. Kieth banked up, and Lance just had time to shoot a laser at the ship tailing him before he and his lion ran face first into the debris.

“Watch it, Lance!” Kieth spat, and Lance cringed.

“Sorry!” He yelled.

There wasn’t enough time to dwell on it though, because the ship that had been on Lance had recovered from the Blue Paladin’s change in course, and was shooting at him again.

Lance groaned, trying to dodge around the lasers, taking one or two hits to the back. He yelled, his heart jumping as another squadron of battleships came at him from the front. Reacting fast, he sent Blue into a barrel roll, hoping the Galra ships would collide.

Fortunately, they did. Unfortunately, so did he and Pidge. The Green Lion, who apparently had been chasing the Galra ships, met the Blue Lion head on, both going at full speed and sending the Paladins into a tailspin.

“Lance, what the hell?!” Pidge yelled as they both regained control.

Lance chastised himself inwardly.

“Sorry Pidge!”

His mind was screaming at him. Way to go, fuck up!

“Lance! Look out!”

He looked up to see a Galra ship as it powered up a blaster. With how close it was, he should have already seen it.

Shiro flew by in the Black Lion, slicing through the ship with his jaw blade and putting it out of commission.

“Lance! You need to pay attention!”

“Sorry!” He said for probably the 10th time since the start of the battle.

What is wrong with you? Get your head in the game! You can’t even-

His thoughts were interrupted as he was once again forced to bank out of the way of a Galra ship. Sadly, he was too slow to react, and as he swerved upwards a beam of purple light collided with Blue’s underbelly. Lance screamed as he was jostled around in his seat, trying to regain control as another beam hit him on his left.

So now you can’t even fly? What are you doing?! I thought Paladins were supposed to be expert pilots!

“Lance!” Someone yelled as he tried and failed to gain control of Blue. More and more Galra ships getting hits in on his Lion.

Useless piece of shit! They all know it!

“Lance, control yourself!”

“Someone needs to help him!”

“There’s too many of them!”

“Fall back!”

Before he knew it, Hunk and his lion had grabbed hold of Blue and were pulling Lance out of the battlefield. The others joined up with them, and Lance felt tears welling up in his eyes.

As the Galra fleet fell away from view, Lance was able to retake control of his lion. Hunk let go, and they made their way back to the castle. Mission failed.

“Lance, what was going on out there?” Kieth asked, ever the hothead. Lance didn’t reply, only lifting his gloved hand to whisk away his tears. His mind was screaming at him.

You can’t fly for shit, that’s what! You think they’re gonna want you around after that debacle? I’m surprised it took you this long royally fuck. They’re gonna see it now! You’re not fit to be a Paladin!

—

They arrived back at the Castle of Lions, and for a couple minutes all Lance could do was pull off his helmet and just… sit there. Unable to bear the looks of utter disappointment on his teammates' faces. Unable to face the resentment.

Then he heard Shiro’s voice over the coms.

“Post-mission briefing on the bridge.”

Lance sighed, and finally forced himself out of Blue’s seat. He dragged himself to the control room, trying to stay as far back and out of sight as possible.

Shiro began speaking, but Lance could hardly hear him over the scrutiny going on in his own brain.

You don’t belong here! You know it. They know it. They’d be better off without you.

“Guys, this can’t happen again. We cannot lose our heads in a time of crisis. If we’re going to win against the Galra, we need to work harder. Not just individually, but as a team. We were completely divided out there, and we kept getting in each other’s way.”

Lance looked down, mainly me. He was certain that’s what everyone was thinking. He bit his lip, trying his damndest not to cry.

“We’ve been focusing on training our bodies, but I think we’ve been neglecting to focus on the most important part of Voltron: our minds. Our connection to ourselves, our lions and to each other is what powers Voltron, farther than any of our individual skills.”

Like anyone would want to connect with you. You’re the problem, you always have been. They’ll turn on you one day, and you’ll deserve it. Maybe you should just speed up the process. Get out of their lives before they come to hate you on their own. But you won’t, you’re too weak. Too cowardly to face the reality of that decision. Too selfish to give up your friendships for the universe.

“Lance!” A voice cut through the noise. Lance looked up to see Shiro staring at him.

“Are you even listening?”

They hate you.

“I, uh- yeah.” He could feel his skin crawling at all the eyes on him.

“Then what did I say?”

“Voltron is powered by our minds, or something.” It was the last thing he remembered.

The irritated muttering around the room caused him to assume he’d guessed wrong.

“Lance, I need you to be paying attention when I’m talking.”

Lance sighed, looking back down at his feet, “sorry.”

Had he been looking up, he’d have seen the slight edge of concern in The Black Paladin’s gaze before he continued. “Anyways… what I was saying is that tomorrow afternoon we’ll meet on the training deck to go through some mental team building exercises. I’m sure Coran has a few ideas.”

Lance nodded, but kept his gaze trained on the ground.

You’ll probably fuck it up, like you do everything.

“That I do. Don’t you worry Shiro, I’ll get it sorted.”

Lance looked up just enough to see Shiro nod. “In that case, you’re all dismissed.”

Lance turned, and headed out of the control room. His mind swimming with self ridicule. He could feel the tears threatening to fill his eyes. The days’ failures replaying over and over again in his mind.

Idiot. Useless. Screw up everything.

Suddenly, he felt a hand grab him by the arm, pulling him back slightly and forcing him to stop.

“Lance, wait.”

The Blue Paladin looked up to see Shiro gazing at him curiously.

“Is… everything alright?”

No. Lance forced a grin, “of course! Why wouldn't it be?”

“I just… you seem… distracted.”

Lance shook his head, forcing his smile to become even brighter. “I’m fine. I promise. See you in training tomorrow!”

He pulled his arm free, and began to walk (a little too quickly) to his room.

As soon as the door closed, he collapsed on the ground. Tears spilled out of his eyes. What was he doing here? He was no Paladin? He had no place here. Nobody here wanted him around, he was just their only option. If they had anyone else to fly Blue, they’d take them in an instant. Anyone would be better than you!

“Fucking useless,” he whimpered to himself, burying his head in his knees.

“All I do is mess things up.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“No one wants me around.”

“I’m…”

He trailed off, his throat closing up as he voiced his darkest thoughts to the empty room. Sobs racked his body. He sat there, back pressed against the door, letting tears spill down his face. Crying at the truth of it all. That he was the problem, he was the weak link. All he brought to the team was bad jokes and annoyance.

He had no special skills.

No special purpose.

He was nothing special.

He was just nothing.

—

The next day, Lance woke up as he usually did. Early. With a skip in his step, a smile on his face, and a silent prayer that today wouldn’t be the day that the mask slipped. That today wouldn’t be the day they saw how useless he really was.

He went to breakfast with the team. Pidge was still a little irritated at him for running into her. Kieth was broody, as usual. Hunk and Coran were happy. Shiro and Allura were focused.

Lance, as usual, was cracking jokes to try and lighten the mood. To try and drown out the voice in his head. To try and fein cheerfulness.

And the others, as usual, we’re not having any of it.

“Lance, can you shut up for five minutes so that we can eat in peace?!” Pidge snapped. “I swear it’s like you’re trying to piss me off.”

Lance smiled brighter on the outside, but on the inside, his mind screamed.

“Aw, did the Pigeon wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” He teased, and she grumbled, turning away.

He saw Keith roll his eyes, and heard him muttering under his breath.

You can’t let up can you? If you’re not royally screwing up a mission, you’re annoying the shit out of everyone.

But he would rather annoy them into not paying attention than allow them to see how worthless he was.

Selfish? Probably. But, he couldn’t help it.

Besides, if Pidge was angry he’d rather she take it out on him than the rest of the team. Unlike the rest of them, he deserved it.

—

And then the afternoon rolled around. Lance headed for the training deck, something akin to apprehension churning in his gut.

Come on Lance, afraid of a training session? A Paladin should be better than that.

He steeled himself, and entered the training deck.

Everyone else was already there. Lance couldn’t help chastising himself for that. Even though he wasn’t late, he was last. He’d kept them waiting.

“Has Coran said what we’re doing yet?” He asked, banishing the thoughts aside. If today was meant to train his mind, to connect them, he had to keep his negativity as far away as possible.

They all shook their heads as he reached the group.

“No, I haven’t even seen him since this morning,” Pidge said. Lance was glad to see that she seemed less aggressive now. Maybe a bit of time to wake up had calmed her temper at his previous fuck-upery.

Not that she’d be wrong to still be pissed.

Lance smiled wider.

Just then, Coran entered the room, holding a mass of technology in his arms.

“I’m here! I’m here! Sorry, I’d hoped to have this all set up before you arrived but—“

“It’s okay, Coran. We’re not in a rush.” Shiro assured.

Hunk smiled and walked over, “need some help?”

Pidge joined her friend as Coran nodded and they began setting up, the Altean telling Pidge and Hunk how to hook everything up.

Why didn’t you offer to help? Useless.

But then his own mind fired back.

You’re too stupid to help with something like this. It’s too complicated.

Lance resisted the urge to wince, refusing to let his expressions betray his inner rebuke. So far he wasn’t doing a very great job at keeping negativity out of training.

Then again, you never could do anything right.

He was grateful as Hunk, Pidge and Coran finished setting up. It meant he’d have something else to focus on.

His dreams of distraction were crushed as Coran began to explain the exercise.

“Today's exercise will be all about overcoming your mental barriers. In combat, you need to be completely open with each other, and having blockades and hidden insecurities can distract you from working as a cohesive whole. Today, the team will be given the chance to travel into each Paladin’s mindscape. Not actually, of course, mind travel is very dangerous and can more often than not lead to disastrous consequences. That’s where all this technology comes in. This will simulate a sort of virtual landscape for you all to traverse through. It should still be accurate, but it will prevent any serious harm coming to any of you.”

Lance’s stomach somersaulted. Travelling… into his mind… to face his insecurities?!

No way they’ll want you around after this.

Lance took a deep breath. Maybe he could worm his way out of it. Maybe he could delay, and they would run out of time and not get to him. Maybe he could fake illness closer to his turn. The healing pods didn’t cure sickness so he’d just be sent back to his room to rest.

They were feeble wishes, but a boy can dream.

—

Unfortunately for Lance, they did have time for him. All day, dread had been clawing at his chest, and he’d taken every possible opportunity to have someone else go first.

But… he couldn’t put it off any longer. He had really considered faking a migraine or some shit, but if any of them found out they’d think he was being lazy. Or worse, they’d question why he wanted out so close to his turn anyways.

They’d been through Shiro’s mindscape. Forcing him to confront his fears and regrets about his time with the Galra, and helping him accept that it was all just survival. The Galran prisoner he used to be was running purely off instinct, and the Shiro they knew would never be so callous. They also helped him wrestle with the guilt and pain of leaving Adam behind.

They’d been through Pidge’s mindscape. Helping to quell her fears about not being able to find her parents. They’d sworn they would help her, and do whatever it took to get Matt and her father back.

They’d been through Hunk’s mindscape. Helping him through all the anxieties and fears that had taken hold of him over his years at the Garrison, and now in space. They’d consoled him by telling him that he was brave. That it was okay to be scared. And that he would never be alone.

They’d gone through Keith’s mindscape. Begrudgingly, he’d admitted to his feelings of lostness. How he wanted to feel a sense of self, and get to know who he was and where he came from. They’d told him they would help in whatever way they could, but that at the end of the day ‘who he was’ depended solely on him. Not who his parents were. They’d even gone as far as to say Voltron could be his family if he let it.

And now… now Lance had to go.

And he was terrified.

Coward! Afraid of what they might find? Afraid they’ll see how worthless their Blue Paladin really is?!

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he stared at the mindscape device in his hands. He looked up at Shiro, who smiled down at him.

“We’re right here with you.” He assured.

Lance smiled.

But for how long?

He pushed the voice away, pushed everything away. All his thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Then, he put on the device, and closed his eyes. The world around him melted away, and when he reopened his eyes, he found himself standing on a beach. The ground beneath him which he knew technically shouldn’t, felt soft. Having been through several mindscapes by now, he was used to the strange faux sensations they caused. Making it seem like you were actually there.

He looked around as the other Paladins faded in, and took in their surroundings.

Finally, it was Pidge who asked, “where are we?”

Lance smiled as he spotted a house on the hill, not far from the beachfront.

“My home.”

—

They made their way up the hill, Lance making absolutely certain that everything they saw was what he wanted them to see. Keeping the nasty voice that haunted his conscious locked behind the walls of this fabricated world.

Okay, fabricated wasn’t exactly the best word. This was all still very real. It was just something he was more comfortable showing the team. Something understandable. Something sweet. Something wholesome.

Something better to the alternative. Something easier.

They reached the house, and Lance grinned as he saw his little niblings playing in the front yard. Rolling around the grass, wrestling over a yellow toy truck.

They didn’t see him though, nor did they see the other Paladins. At the end of the day, they were just spectators to a virtual reality. They weren’t actually in Lance’s mind, and thus, couldn’t interact.

“Aww, they’re so cute! Who are they?” Pidge said, cooing as they drew nearer.

“Those are my niece and nephew.” He said, smiling fondly. He’d missed them so much. He’d missed them all so much.

Almost as if his mind was reflecting this, the house seemed to pull away, just slightly. Not quite letting the Paladins reach it.

Lance frowned.

“Woah… what was that?” Hunk asked, looking at Lance.

“I’m… not sure,” he admitted.

He could feel the fringes of his paradise shudder as an insult tried to break through. He didn’t let it. He couldn’t. Not with the Paladins watching.

But he could see their unease as the trembling surrounding the area scape passed.

Fortunately, his mother emerged from the house before they had time to question it.

She began spewing how she missed him, and he felt tears prick his eyes.

Each time they got close to the house it shifted away again. Pretty soon they caught on.

Homesickness. Homesickness was the barrier he was choosing to show the Paladins. The guilt for leaving his family behind. It was one he found much easier to bear. One he felt they would understand and accept.

And they did.

They comforted him, and told him it was okay to miss home.

And he thought, just for a moment he thought he’d done it.

He’d really done something right. He hadn’t fucked it up.

“Is this why you were so distracted yesterday? In the battle? You were missing your family?” Shiro asked.

Lance nodded.

And then the voice came rushing in, faster than he could stop it.

A venomous, icy echo twisted around them, filling up the atmosphere.

Liar!

He forced it back, but it was too late. The Paladins were looking around, frightened and confused.

“What was that?” Pidge exclaimed.

Shit.

“I- I don’t know…” he said, his voice dejected. But he found lying much harder in the midst of his panic.

“Lance. What aren’t you telling us?” Keith demanded.

Then it happened. A sharp sound drew Lance’s eyes to the ground, where a crack was beginning to spread beneath his feet.

“What the hell’s happening?!”

“Lance! What’s going on?!”

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t speak. He was frozen. Fear was creeping through his veins, sending a wind rushing through the mindscape.

A Paladin. Afraid of his own brain.

Pathetic!

More cracks. He closed his eyes, and tried to shove the voice away.

There was still time, still an opportunity to hide this, to get past this. He could do this.

“Lance!”

He looked up. Everyone looked scared. He was making them scared. And this was just the surface. No way he could let them see the full force of it!

Nobody would want you around then.

The voice crackled in the wind around them, sharp as a knife, but also sweet as honey. A perfect tone of intoxicating mockery. One that had haunted him for years.

Shards were beginning to fall away, revealing a world of empty blackness, and Lance was panicking.

How disappointing. Paladins aren’t supposed to panic.

“Lance, Lance it’s okay! Just breath buddy. Tell us what’s happening. We can help you!” Shiro assured.

They’ll hate you.

“We won’t!” Hunk tried to reassure, reaching out a hand.

And then the world fell away. The cracks gave way and Lance was falling. Falling. Falling. Falling. Away from the hill. Away from Cuba. Away from his little paradise.

And down

Down

Down

Into the bitter darkness.

Into the truth.

Into the nothing.

—

Lance inhaled sharply, his breath echoing all around him. All he could see was darkness. Darkness above, darkness below and darkness all around. Yet somehow, he was standing on solid ground. He tapped his feet curiously, a faint ringing echoing at the back of his mind. Like when you listen to the silence for too long.

Then he turned around, and found the other Paladins facing him.

His heart lurched. They were here… with him. Dios what has he done?!

“Lance… what- what is this?” Hunk asked, looking at his friend in deep confusion. Concern etched his expression.

“I- I don’t know…”

You never know! Came the voice. Harsher and clearer than it had on the beach house. Pounding in his head and vibrating in his skull.

He turned to see the faint outline of a person against the darkness. Inches from his face. It shoved him with a hiss, that’s the problem!

“Lance!” Keith started forward, sword in hand, but a voice interrupted him.

Are you gonna let him fight your battles?!

Another grey figure appeared in front of Keith, blocking Lance’s view of the Red Paladin.

I thought Paladins were supposed to be strong?!

Another figure appeared to the right of Lance.

But you were never much of a Paladin to begin with, were you?

Lance backed away. He closed his eyes and shook his head, begging it to stop.

Why? Why should we stop? Can’t handle the truth?

“Lance! Lance, it's okay! Look at me!” That was Shiro’s voice. It sounded so far away. Lance looked up to see the other Paladins, slowly disappearing behind a mob of grey.

They pity you.

You think any of them actually want you around.

Something latched onto his arm, digging its claws into his flesh.

After all you’ve done? After everything you’ve messed up?

Images of the earlier fight flickered all around them. Then it was all the fights before. All the times he’d done something wrong.

You’re a screw up, Lance! You don’t deserve to be a Paladin.

Lance was being dragged down. Dragged down by thousands of latching hands. Swarming and smothering him. Suffocating him in his own greatest faults. His biggest insecurities.

And he was faintly aware of the other Paladins screaming for him.

They were seeing all of this.

He hadn’t wanted them to.

Did you really think you could keep this from them? That they wouldn’t find out how weak you are?

How useless you are?

You’re stupider than I thought.

And that’s saying something.

Tears pricked his eyes as more claws dug into his flesh, ripping and tearing as he tried to fight them off.

Nobody wants you around!

I’d say go back home, but I doubt they’d want you either!

More hostile, hungry claws stretched from the crowd, latching onto his skin and screaming in his ears. Lance cried as the claws dug into his skin, but his voice was drowned out by the icy, honeysuckle tone of the never ending voice.

Pathetic

Weak

Selfish asshole

Can’t even deny it.

Lance curled in on himself, tears flowing down his cheeks and sobs racking his body. Surely they would all hate him now, after seeing all this. After seeing what a mess he really was.

Can’t even fight back?

You were never meant to be a Paladin!

You don’t belong here!

You’re just a cargo pilot!

Nothing to offer!

You’re not special!

Pain raked his body as he felt himself being torn apart. In the back of his mind he wondered how they were touching him. Coran said they wouldn’t be able to. But of course, Lance always did seem to do the impossible when it came to screwing up.

They would be better off without you and you know it!

There’s so many better options to pilot the Blue Lion.

Shame they had to settle for you.

He tried not to listen. Tried so hard.

You’re hopeless!

But they were right, weren’t they?

Stupid!

Deadweight!

And in that moment, Lance found himself lost. Succumbing to the sea of his own insecurities. They’d come on this mission to connect as a unit

But…

He had never felt more alone in his entire life.

It was just him, and the voice echoing over and over in his mind.

You’re nothing

—

Lance jolted upright, phantom claws still tearing at his skin as he looked around frantically.

He was back on the training deck. Sitting on the floor. He was fairly certain he hadn’t been on the floor when they’d gone in.

He was breathing heavily, his body shaking as tears ran freely down his cheeks. The only positive right now was that whatever wounds the figures seemed to have inflicted were gone… if they had ever really existed in the first place.

“Lance…” came an empty, uncertain voice. The Blue Paladin looked up to see the other Paladins standing a foot or so away, watching him completely break down after…

After…

Dios! They were gonna hate him. More than they did already!

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered.

If it was possible, he began quivering harder.

At that moment, nobody seemed to know what to do. They were all frozen in some sort of silent shock, mortified by what they’d just witnessed.

And then… to everyone’s surprise… Keith began walking towards Lance.

The Blue Paladin began scrambling away, trying to pull himself to his feet and failing as he stumbled backwards. He raised a feeble hand to try and hide his crying eyes.

Kieth grabbed his arm, catching him as he fell. He tried to pull away, letting out a frantic whimpering sound. But Keith held his grip and pulled Lance towards him.

And then they were hugging. Lance felt slender, firm arms wrapped around his back. He fought against them for a few seconds, but the Red Paladin didn’t let up.

So, Lance folded. Keith dropped to his knees as the boy buried his head in the Red Paladin’s shoulder, clutching the back of his shirt with trembling hands. Sobs raked his body, and Keith only seemed to hold him tighter.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Lance murmured through his sobbing. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. What would they think of him now?

Another pair of arms joined them, and Lance heard Hunk whisper in his ear, “It’s okay, buddy.”

Then something small weaselled its way between the hands already around Lance, and he heard Pidge murmur, “we’re right here.”

A hand fell on his shoulder, and Shiro spoke in a calm, affirming voice: “we’re not going anywhere buddy.”

And Lance cried harder. He was sure he was squeezing Keith too hard. He was sure he was making a fool of himself. He was sure they all just pitied him.

“I’m sorry.” He sobbed again wetly. Voice thick with misery. The embrace became more secure, and Lance was acutely aware of Shiro joining it fully.

Then, someone moved their hand into Lance’s hair. Working it between their fingers, and combing it gently. “Don’t—“ Keith rasped. If Lance wasn’t sure they all hated him now, if he wasn’t sure this was just pity, he’d say he heard a quiver in his voice, “don’t apologise.”

And they sat there, Lance sobbing into Keith’s shoulder as the team embraced him from every angle, smothering them in their warmth. This smothering, it wasn’t like what the figures had done. It wasn’t suffocating. In fact, with each passing second it seemed to breathe more life into Lance.

And even though he knew it wouldn’t last, even though he knew his time with the team was at its end…

He didn’t feel so alone anymore.

—

Keith was shell shocked. He couldn’t comprehend it. Lance was supposed to be the happy one. The one who cracked jokes, and… and kept everyone optimistic, and annoyed everyone with his dumb, extremely endearing pick-up lines.

He wasn’t supposed be sad. He wasn’t supposed to be the one falling apart. He wasn’t supposed to believe so little of himself that his own mind turned on him the second it got the chance.

Yet here they were. Lance in Keith’s arms as he carried the Blue Paladin to his room after he’d cried so hard he’d passed out from exhaustion.

It wasn’t right, seeing Lance so broken.

How long has he felt like this? How long had he been hiding it? How long had he been pretending?

Keith wasn’t sure he really wanted to know. Because if his instincts were correct (and they usually were): he never hadn’t been.

The Red Paladin approached Lance’s bed. He propped the boy’s body against him as he pulled back the covers. Then, cradling him gently in his arms (strange that this had happened twice now), he lifted Lance up and set him down on the mattress.

Keith couldn’t believe it. Salty tracks stained the Paladin’s face, and Keith had to fight to keep his own tears down.

Because seeing Lance like this… it hurt.

It was wrong.

It felt more wrong to him than anything had ever felt in his life.

And Keith knew why.

Because ontop of how unbelievable it was that this was how Lance really felt… Keith loved him. He loved Lance so much.

And seeing him like that, completely helpless. Completely broken…

It hurt worse than anything Keith had ever felt before.

And he swore to himself, right there and then, that he would make sure Lance never felt that way again. He wouldn’t give the Paladin room to doubt. He would make him see just how beautiful he was.

—

Lance awoke to a hand in his own - grip weak - and something pressed against his side. He looked around disoriented for a moment. He was aware of a couple things: the person beside him (obviously), the exhaustion and aching in his limbs, the dim lighting, and the stiff skin on his cheeks that came with dried tears.

So he had been crying? Why?

He moved a bit, sitting up to try and see who was with him.

Had they seen him cry? Dios he hoped not.

As he moved, he felt the hand atop his twitch, before the grip grew tighter. Lance gasped as the figure sat up, and blue eyes met black. The hint of violet in them was a dead give away as to who it was, as was the black mop of hair.

Lance would reckognise that mullet anywhere.

“Keith?” He asked.

“Lance!” And the boy in question had never seen Keith look so happy, so relieved. He wasn’t sure why, not like he was in a healing pod or anything.

“What’s goin’ on?” Lance asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

And then he remembered. The mindscape, and the figures, and the sobbing and the hugs… and he dropped his gaze.

“…oh.”

He knew his voice sounded small. Weak.

Pathetic.

He couldn’t hold back the wince.

Then a hand squeezed his. “Lance…” Keith tried to turn his gaze towards him, but Lance couldn’t look up. He feared he’d see scrutiny and disgust. He was certain now why Keith had waited by his bedside. He wanted to tell Lance he was off the team. Tell him he couldn’t be the Blue Paladin anymore. Tell him they didn’t want someone on the team who held them back.

And tears flooded his eyes.

“Lance, hey, it’s okay.” Keith brushed a soft hand against the boy’s cheek, brushing away stray tears.

Lance lifted his hands, pushing Keith’s out of the way as he frantically tries to wipe his own eyes. He felt guilty and embarrassed and stupid.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, though whether he was apologising for the tears or his very existence he wasn’t sure. He supposed it could be both.

Hands grabbed his face, grip gentle but firm. “Hey, none of that.”

And the tears came even more. Even now he was disappointing Keith with his stupid crying.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I’m sorry. I- I tried—“

“No, Lance! Don’t apologise.” Keith reiterated.

Of course, Keith didn’t want to see him grovelling. Didn’t want to see his pathetic attempts at asking for forgiveness. He was done with him, and nothing Lance said would change that.

But… dammit a part of him begged to be allowed to stay. Allowed another chance.

He cried harder.

“I know— I know you want me off the team. I know I’m a disappointment. I know I’m just holding you back. But please. Please, I can do better. I’ll work harder. I’ll train every day. Please! Please, Keith, don’t send me away. I- I can’t— I don’t—“ his pleas died out in exchange for desperate sobs.

Look at you. You think this will make him take you back? You’re disgusting! He’s disgusted by you! He’s right to send you away.

You don’t deserve his forgiveness.

You don’t deserve Voltron.

Keith’s voice broke through the terror.

“Woah, hey, hey, hey!” Lance could hear the awkwardness in his voice. Keith never really was good with people. Good with emotions. And here Lance was making it harder by crying all over him.

Deadweight. Dumbass. Worthless.

“No one’s goin’ anywhere. Okay?”

Lance stilled. He sobbing stopped, and he felt like the ground had just been pulled out from under him.

He dared look up, dared meet Keith’s gaze, and was met with nothing but soft, gentle eyes flooded with concern. Concern and heartache.

“What?” He asked weakly.

It didn’t make any sense.

Nothing makes sense to you.

“We're not kicking you out Lance.” Keith said, pain evident in his voice.

Lance was… so confused.

“But…” he couldn’t find the words.

Keith sighed. It wasn’t exasperated, or irritated. Just… heavy. “We need to talk, Lance. You, me, and the rest of the team.”

Oh. So they weren’t kicking him off the team. They were just gonna reprimand him.

I bet it’s because they pity you.

They don’t have the heart to send you to the whims of space. They don’t have the time to drop you back on earth. So once again, they’re just stuck with you.

The deadweight.

The burden.

“Why don’t you come with me.”

And then gentle arms were wrapping around the Blue Paladin’s waste, helping him to his feet. Lance’s legs wobbled, and a new bout of shame engulfed him as he clung tightly to Keith.

Fuck!

—

Keith led him down to the lounge area, keeping a stable, comforting grip around the shaking boy’s form the whole way down. The half-Galra could tell Lance was still exhausted, and for a moment he wondered if he should have told Lance to rest before dragging him all the way down here.

But, Lance was convinced that the team didn’t want him around, and the thought of letting those feelings simmer any longer made Keith’s heart ache.

No, they needed to talk to him. Before Lance regained the ability to try and cover it up… he was rather good at that. Despite all of this, Keith found himself admiring just how good an actor Lance was. He’d managed to get past Keith’s scary accurate instincts, the Red Paladin not having thought for a second that the boy he paid attention to the most on this ship was hurting so much. Not until it all came crashing down.

Which begged the question: What else had Lance been hiding?

Hopefully nothing. But that wasn’t important right now.

What was important is that Lance got help.

—

The others were already waiting for them when they arrived. Lance refused to meet their gaze as he was led by the Red Paladin over to the sitting area, where he was lowered onto a couch. Shame churned in his blood as he stared at his shaking hands. He was pathetic, couldn’t even manage to walk himself.

The tension in the room was thick, Altean space goo thick. The longer the silence grew, the worse Lance felt.

Just berate me already! Then we can all move on with our lives! He pleaded.

Not that you’d have anything meaningful to move on to, his mind filled in kindly.

Finally, Shiro decided it was time to put the Blue Paladin out of his misery. “Lance… we need to talk about yesterday. Your mindscape-“

Lance thought he would be able to bear it. To sit through another ridiculing lecture about his incompetence. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t bear to listen to the disappointment of his team members. Couldn’t bear to withstand the disapproval. So, against his better judgement, he interrupted desperately.

“I know! Okay, I know. You don’t have to say anything. I know I fucked up! I failed the exercise and made a complete fool of myself. I know behaved in a way no true Paladin of Voltron ever would! I know I compromised Voltron’s bond and probably put you all in danger, and I know- I- I know you all think I’m stupid, and weak and unworthy now! I know I’m not good enough, I know I’m only here because you don’t have time to find another Paladin for Blue, I know none of you actually want me around! I know! I know, I-“ Tears had begun streaming down his face again, his palms pressed into his eyes as he tried desperately to hide his obvious despair.

A firm grip on his shoulders caused him to look up with a start. In an instant he regretted it as tears spilled from bloodshot, tired eyes.

Weak!

But before he could wipe them away, or hide his face again, Shiro said something he was not expecting.

“No, Lance. No… no to all of that. You didn’t mess anything up, and none of us think you’re weak, or stupid, or unworthy. We do want you here. You belong on this team Lance, and it’s okay to not be… okay sometimes.”

Lance’s tears didn’t let up, despite the obvious genuinely in Shiro’s eyes. He should be grateful… happy. They weren’t mad. But… that… that couldn’t be right.

“N-no. No you’re- you’re lying. You don’t mean that, I know! I already know! I’ve always known! You- you’re just trying to make me feel better. You just- you- you’re trying to keep Voltron together so you don’t have t- to waste time f-f-finding someone else. But you w-w-want to. You want someone better. I know I’m not-“ his choppy, shaky voice cut off at a an angry voice coming from behind Shiro.

“Do you really think that?! After everything we’ve been through! You really think none of us actually care?!” It was Pidge, small, angry, heartbroken Pidge.

“How can you fucking say that shit when we’re supposed to be your friends! How can you fucking- think that shit about yourself— you don’t- how could you not trust us to tell-“ Pidge, smart, intellectual, tactful Pidge, was at a loss for words.

And then her anger broke. Taken over by guilt, regret, and most of all, fear.

“Did we really treat you that badly?”

Lance’s heart was thumping in his chest. No. No he made Pidge upset, now everyone was gonna be mad- he couldn’t- “No- n- no -o no no no, no, no! No! No! It was- you guys never! You guys were always so great! So good! I’m the one that’s the problem here! You never- I just- it’s just the truth. That’s just how it is- I didn’t-“ he paused for a beat, staring at everyone as they watched the interaction. Then, finally, he returned his gaze to his hands, “I’m sorry.”

“Okay, everyone just… take a breath,” Shiro said, stepping away from Lance, and sitting down on a chair across from the couch he was on.

There was silence as everyone situated themselves around the area. Keith sat next to Lance on his left, and Hunk sat on his right. Pidge sat next to Shiro on a stool, while Coran and Allura shared another couch situated next to Pidge and Shiro.

Then, finally, Shiro asked something.

“How long have you been feeling like this?”

Lance was confused. Again.

Idiot.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re not good enough… for Voltron.”

Lance was glad for the final specification. That made the question a little easier to answer. Even still, he found the words tangled in his throat as he feared the reaction the answer would recieve.

“I…” his body tensed as he felt all eyes on him. His heart started racing. He was trying to answer but he couldn’t. Of course he couldn’t. He could never do anything he was supposed to! They were asking him a question and he couldn’t even find it in himself to answer!

Stupid!

Weak!

Worthless!

Deadweight!

Fingers brushed against his thigh, and he looked down to see Keith’s hand slowly inching towards him, clearly trying to comfort him. To get his attention.

“Take your time,” the Red Paladin said. “We- we’ve got nowhere else to go.”

Lance looked away. Look at him, having to be placated like a child. Still, he hated to admit that the removal of pressure helped.

“I… I guess… I guess I… always?” He said uncertainty. Shrinking in on himself as he braced for backlash. Surly now they would see how inadequate he had been from the start.

But Shiro’s voice remained calm, and the room remained quiet.

“Why?”

Lance scoffed at that, leaning back against the couch, but keeping his eyes on his lap. “Isn’t it kind of obvious?”

“Tell me anyway. It might not be as obvious to some of us.”

Lance was pretty sure that wasn’t true, but he was already on thin ice with the team as it was, he wasn’t about to disobey Shiro.

Still though, it took him several minutes to be able to say the words out loud.

“You- you guys are all so… so good at stuff. Pidge is smart and good with technology and determined. She can hack into anything and we’d be dead like 10x over without her. Hunk is gentle, and big hearted, he’s a good cook and a great engineer for Voltron. He gets along well with aliens and he’s always there when people need him. Allura and Coran are the last of their kind alive! We need Allura to run the ship, she’s got altean magic plus she’s like royalty. She’s important. And Coran keeps everything running on the ship. He knows so much about space and planets, and he’s the best doctor we have - besides the healing pods. Keith’s our best pilot and our best swordsman. He’s confident and brave and insanely talented! Without him I don’t know if we’d have survived half the battles we were in, he’s a great soldier! And Shiro is… Shiro is our leader. Shiro’s been through so much. He’s so calm and level headed and determined and we need him. Without Shiro we’d be nothing! Without any of you we’d be nothing!”

He paused, taking a moment to catch his breath, recollect his thoughts, and brace himself for what he was about to say next. For the truth he’d kept inside for so long. There was no hiding it anymore, they’d all seen it first hand and now he had to explain it.

“But me? I’m nothing special. I’m not… any of that. I’m not smart, I’m not creative, or a diplomat. I’m not brave or talented or a leader. I don’t know things! I’m not important! I’m just Lance! I’m stupid and weak and annoying and useless and I don’t contribute anything but subpar shooting skills that any of you could probably learn faster than I ever did! I’m just a fucking deadweight, I hold Voltron back, I’m a fucking joke of a pilot! I’m not even really a fighter pilot, I got in a technicality! I always fuck things up! I’m a fuck up! A stupid, weak, good for nothing, worthless fuck up who doesn’t deserve to be a Paladin! Voltron would be so much better off if I just stopped being selfish and fucked off already so you guys wouldn’t have to deal with my shit anymore! Maybe then we’d actually be making progress against the Galra!”

He hadn’t meant to say that much. Actually he’d planned on stopping after ‘I’m just Lance!’ But, once he started, he found the words just poured out of him faster than he could collect them back up. And now… now here he was. With everything he’d ever felt about himself being laid on the table. Everything his own mind ever fucking screamed at him coming out in a convoluted mess as he finally found the words put to it’s mockery.

Lance lifted his hand, trying to whisk his still very much present tears away, when a gloved hand caught it.

He looked at Keith, making eye contact. Suddenly he was stuck. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think (not that he usually could).

Because Keith, warrior, closed off, emotionless Keith… had tears in his eyes.

“That’s not true! None of that is true! You’re not stupid, or weak, or worthless, or any of that! You are Lance! Smart, skilled, funny, beautiful, amazing, wonderful Lance! Lance who always seems to know how to lighten the mood or offer up a joke! Lance who keeps everyone positive and innocent in the middle of a fucking space war! Lance, the sharpshooter, who we know always has our backs in battle. Lance who cares so much about everyone around him, and who would give his life in an instant to save any one of us! Lance who hid for so long that he was suffering because he didn’t want to make anyone else upset! Lance who thinks of everyone so highly that he thinks he isn’t good enough! But you are Lance! You are good enough! You’ve always been good enough! You’re not a deadweight, or a cargo pilot! You are so much more than that!”

Lance just stared as Keith tried to drive home a message that he just… that Lance couldn’t comprehend. This wasn’t… this couldn’t… he’d always known that he wasn’t… and now Kieth, Kieth who hated Lance’s guts was telling him…

Hunk joined up, bringing Lance into his arms as he began to speak. “We care about you man. Me especially. Whenever I’m feeling nervous or overwhelmed, you are what keeps me grounded. Keeps me from completely freaking out. You’re my best friend, and I would be devastated if you left. I couldn’t do this without you.”

Pidge nodded, staying where she was as she added her own two cents. “I know I haven’t always been the nicest towards you… especially in our early days as friends. I made you feel like you were stupid and not worth my time, and I didn’t even realise or try to apologise because I had other things going on. But I’ve always admired you Lance… the way you embrace everyone around you so easily - except maybe Keith - and the way you’re always so aware of everything going on around you. You always know exactly what to say or do to take the edge off, even if it means you end up getting yelled at or in trouble. You take care of us out here, and I never told you before but… I am extremely grateful for you.”

Lance was speechless. They were all saying such… nice things. Things he never saw as passably notable or important. Things he’d always said he had to do to make up for the fact that he was a complete fucking pile of nothing. And of course they weren’t! Not up to the standards of everyone else. None of that really helped in the fight against the Galra… did it?

“Lance,” Shiro began, “you are a valued and inconsequential member of this team. Your bond with the Blue Lion is the strongest out of all of us. Your ability to trust so deeply and so completely in others has been life changing in our diplomatic missions. There’s something about you that is just… so disarming that people want to be around you. I just wish…” he sighed, “I just wish you’d trusted us enough to tell us that you were feeling like this. You didn’t have to suffer alone Lance, none of us ever have to go through anything alone.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Pidge asked. She always wanted to know the why.

Lance, completely taken aback by everything, took a minute to register the question.

“I… didn’t think anyone would care. I thought it was just common knowledge… or that if I told you then you’d realise I was right. I didn’t want to jeopardize our objective with my stupid problems, not when it was just as easy to go about my day pretending everything was fine.”

Shiro’s eyes grew soft, “Lance, we would never ever kick you off the team for talking about your problems. I promise. You should never be afraid to talk to us. You don’t have to lie, or pretend you’re okay when you’re not. We’re a team, we’re here for each other, and nobody is going to be angry at you for telling us how you’re feeling.”

Lance’s lower lip trembled. The tears, which had subsided by the time Hunk started talking, came back. He pulled his hand out of Keith’s grasp to wipe at his eyes… again.

“I just- I- I didn’t want you guys to hate me.” Lance had given up trying to sound okay. His voice was wet, broken and oh so afraid. As if any minute they would realise that everything he was talking about was indeed true, and that they’d send him off into space. It’s what he deserved.

Hunk pulled him in again, this time it was a proper bear hug. Lance cried. It wasn’t the raw, terrified, pleading sobs that had taken over his body in the training room. These tears were drawn from a place of relief and mild fear. After all this time he’d finally let it all out, he’d finally opened up and showed them what he was - what he really was - and so far… they didn’t hate him.

They could. They may one day just decide they didn’t want him around. But right now they wanted him… all of him.

So he cried; and when Keith wrapped his arms around Lance from behind he didn’t resist; and when Pidge and Coran came over to join he didn’t fight; and when Allura and the space mice nuzzled their way in he didn’t try to run; and when Shiro finally decided to join in fully on the embrace, he stayed put.

He didn’t scream, or kick, or claw or try to get away. He embraced them, all of them. Embraced their warmth and their love, and their desire for him to be okay.

And he cried.

And though those tears would not be able to wash away the toxin of his brain. The poison that had built up after years of his life feeling like he was just some second rate cargo pilot from Cuba… they were a start.

A start to the long road to healing. A start to seeing himself as equal to his peers. A start to seeing himself deserving of Blue and his Paladin uniform.

They were a start to his long journey to feeling like he was worthy.

Like he was something.

[celestiall0tus]

Welcome to my Madness

You've traveled to a dark place. Turn back now else your mind be lost now.

My Insanity:

I am a mildly functioning adult in my late 20s. I am a Taurus that loves long walks to the fridge. I am aroace (romance positive/sex adverse) poly, lesbian (for a lack of a better term), and non-binary. I use all pronouns, but most people use she/her.

I spend most my days drawing, writing, or playing video games, mainly Elder Scrolls Online. I am currently too deep into the miraculous fandom to see the light of day, so save yourselves.

Links

Patreon || Discord || DeviantArt || Ao3 || Ko-Fi

Announcements

Requests and Commissions:

Commissions are now available!! See link below!

Commission Sheets and Prices

Changing up how I do requests. General requests are only available for Patreons, but I will have requests open on here. I will accept them so long as they follow these set of rules:

Must be submitted to my ask box. If they are through DMs or Discord, I will not do them as I'll undoubtedly forget.

Miraculous only

I will draw only from my AUs

No kwami swaps

Fanworks:

On top of the designs, I do write AU fanfictions that greatly deviate from the show with their own system of how the kwamis work, their powers, their lore, etc. You can find them and the following platforms:

DeviantArt || Ao3

For here, you'll find them here:

Miraculous:

Miraculous AU || Salvation || Absolution || Separate Worlds || Paradise || All That Remained || Amaranthine || Court of Miracles || Scions || Tales of Bloody Bug and Chat Noir || Siren's Song || Into Another World || Belle || What If It's Us

Steven Universe:

Rejuvenation (Finished)

AU Fanfic Status:

Miraculous AU: Indefinite Hiatus

Salvation: Hiatus

Absolution: Hiatus

Separate Worlds: Hiatus

Paradise: Hiatus

All That Remained:

All That Remained: Finished

Reawakening: Finished

Lady and the Scoundrel: Finished

Into the Fire: Finished

Long Road: Finished

Calm Before the Storm: Writing

Amaranthine: Finished

Court of Miracles: Hiatus

Bloody Bug:

Prelude: Finished

Tales of Bloody Bug and Chat Noir: Writing

Siren's Song: Hiatus

Into Another World: Hiatus

Belle: Writing

What If It's Us: On Request/Suggestion

Rejuvenation: Finished

As per asks, I have a pieced together explanations of the AU system I use for my miraculous fanfics here:

Avatars || Miraculous Miracles || How the Kwamis Work || Holders Powers || OC Kwamis and Gimmi Powers || Kwami List || AU Ship Names || Holder Names || Bloody Bug Power Upgrades

Siren's Song Acknowledgements

I want to add this for anyone curious about my goals when it comes to writing. Check it out here

Designs:

To make some designs easier to find, I'll be including some main posts with all the designs on them.

Kwamis || Miraculous AU Hero || Miraculous AU Civilian || Miraculous AU Gala || Salvation || Absolution || Paradise || Amaranthine || Bloody Bug || Siren's Song || All That Remained || Separate Worlds || Court of Miracles

I do create a variety of designs and swaps that can be used for free by anyone. No credit is needed, but is appreciated.

Free to Use Designs Master Post

Extra:

To everyone with me so far, thank you. I've met some wonderful people in this fandom and look forward to meeting and getting to know more of you.

I am always open for discussions, questions, and more. Never hesitate to reach out. I don't bite unless agitated.

Thank you all and welcome to my realm of madness.

[gothamstreetcat]

Hi everyone, I know everyone is going through some pretty severe times right now, but recently I’ve found myself in a rough predicament. A week ago I suffered a pretty severe fall, where I fell 20ft off an overpass. It was really dark, raining pretty hard, and there were no traffic lights where I was at. I could barley see in front of me and I didn’t have on my glasses because they were useless at the time. I was walking home.

Because of the fall I hurt my back and chest pretty bad and I wasn’t able to move myself much when I was first admitted. I also broke my heel which resulted in surgery. Between the EMT’s finding me, the ambulance ride to the hospital, and being admitted it was extremely disorienting, scary, and frustrating.

Due to the surgery I will be out of work for a minimum of three months but probably more. I am unable to put weight on my foot for those three months and even after that it will be very hard - if you’ve ever broken a bone before you know it’s no joke. And if you live in the US, you also know what a rip-off our healthcare system is. I had not even reached my own outrageous deductible before this occurred and I’m not even sure what my insurance is even going to cover after that. I will also have to pay for physical therapy and on top of everything, I just got a notice for my rent going above 1k - which is extremely outrageous where I live.

I am also being moved into a psychiatric facility under the false assumptions that a jumped off the overpass. Despite that there was no evidence before or after the incident that supports this assumption. I have tried time and time again to prove how unfair this is to me to no avail. While being in the hospital on suicide watch, they confiscated all my belongings (despite that I could barley move in the bed due to how much pain I was in) and have since lost my wallet, keys, shoes during this time.

I have some money saved up in an account and enough paid time off to late me a month but I know it’s not going to be enough to sustain me being out of work.

I have spent so much of my life doing for others. Helping them, making things for them and doing for them all because I care about them and like to make them happy. I don’t regret any of it - it is truly one of the few things that bring me joy in this world, but now I need to ask for some help.

I’ve been on this site for a long time making gifs. I also do lots of crafts, like modifying jackets, making buttons, and painting. I write fanfiction and have made some fan videos over on YouTube. I plan to do some jackets and painting to try and cultivate a source of income while I am not working, but I am worried it won’t be enough.

I am willing to do commissions for stories and videos if anyone in interested. (But please keep it literally within my capabilities, I know it’s so limited but I’d be willing to go to the depths of hell if someone would pay me for it). I am also open to gifset requests. And I would be open to selling some of my art on here.

I have also set up a ko-fi for small donations and here is a link to my PayPal.

I know everyone hates these kinds of posts and there are A LOT of people in A LOT worse situations than my own. But I would literally be so appreciative of any support anyone is willing to give.

If you have any questions, comments or concerns/want to know more about my fall - please feel free to ask me. Thank you all for listening and those who have been supportive thus far.

Here is some of the work I’ve done:

[mcalhenwrites]

Cal's Goals List

I'm trying my best to work hard as I can, despite my disabilities, so I can make a steady living. I work part time around dogs, but I also write books, draw dragons and take sketch commissions, and even sell crocheted items at tables (but I'd love to stop monetizing this and only have it as a hobby - so I can crochet my dragon OCs when it isn't physically hurting to crochet). My goals? One: I need a car to get to work. I work two towns over - will be even further away if I get this second part time job at the same company - and have three people juggling to give me rides. Two: I do need to buy a new laptop, and I'm extraordinarily picky with writing laptops. The one I use now is over 7 years old and still going, but only barely, and she can't support Win 11 so she'll lose support by October of next year. Three: I'd love to help out with more bills that my roommate currently covers for both of us. Four: I want to make enough money to save up for a house. I'm very sad my dog lives with my parents. He is turning 10 in October, and he's a pyr mix. I miss him. I'm rubbing my face against toys before I mail them so he can smell me on them, and I talk to him on speaker phone, but... it's not the same. I miss my baby.

Now, I have a book out for sale, and it won't be the only one. I hope to release some short stories and other novels within the next few months. For now, there is Geckos, Automata!

I have a Patreon and Ko-Fi as well. I have tiers for $1, $3, $5, and $10 to subscribe to on Patreon, plus some higher ones that I don't expect anyone to actually sub to, but admittedly I'm paywalling all my crochet at a high price to show I'm not really interested in monetizing it, but... I will, if it helps me get my dog back. Right now, Ko-Fi only shows a car goal, but I'll switch it to something else once I reach that goal. I'm saving from my part time job each paycheck for a car as well, so that $2500 is just to help, not the total. If you want to help out one time and give me physical gifts, you're free to hit up my wishlist as well. These allow me some comforts, though I ask if I have medical stuff or indie books on that list that are only sold through that site and nowhere else, you focus on those. That benefits other authors or helps with my healthcare. Thank you! :D You can also read some of my writing - original and fanfiction - on AO3! It's free, and you can use it to decide whether or not Geckos, Automata is up your alley. Thank you so much if you buy anything, boost anything, cheer me on, etc. I just need some wins in life. I'm going to keep chugging along, head up as much as I can keep it up. I think my writing and dragon art can be really intriguing for the right audience. I love what I do, and the more I write, the happier I am. But also: I love my dog and he deserves the best. Also, I think my roommate's kitties would love the space, and one of the cats would for sure be happy with more animals to play with. (The other is a bit skittish, but he'd warm up too, I'm pretty confident about that.)

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

If DCLA characters had Tumblr 🕺🏼

🌟 supernova-number-one follow

Thanks for all the comments on my latest fic update! Chapter 140 should be up any day now <3

#continue to give me comments! #it makes me so happy! #except for that one person please stop giving comments i’m scared

5 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead follow

I am convinced I have found one of the girls in my school’s fanfiction account. I can’t confront her about it because she will never admit it, so I have left cryptic comments on her fics to leave hints that I know.

♻️ 🌟 supernova-number-one follow

So I’m obviously not her, but on my fics, someone has left a bunch of really weird comments and I am so afraid that it’s someone I know irl. I wouldn’t want anyone to know I write fanfiction, as I am paranoid it would lead to my mom finding out, and that could lead to her looking through my fics. And I swear she’d look through every single chapter of my 139 chapter long fic.

Though, it’s kinda funny that you do it to the girl from your school. Hope she gets busted haha.

♻️ 🌼 punk-not-dead follow

Oh yeah, I really get that! Let’s hope whoever it is leaving cryptic messages on your fic is someone nice, or just a troll.

I’m close to busting her… I’ll give an update >:)

10 notes

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant follow

You ever see a girl and you’re just… yeah.

♻️🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi follow

Felt this.

♻️✌🏼 arodarmivida follow

Not sure if this is about girls being pretty or not but I choose to believe the gay view

♻️ 👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant follow

Good. That was the intention 😉

♻️😎 rapmiro follow

LOOOL not me thinking it was about someone starting to rap the second they saw a girl

33k notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am follow

Tfw you don’t remember if that thing you recall happening in your childhood happened when you lived in the UK, France or Congo, or if it happened in your home country at some point

♻️📸 felicityfornow follow

OP, respectfully, how many countries have you lived in, and why?

♻️ 🎤 singing-is-who-i-am follow

I have lost count.

Long story short, my dad thought moving to new countries would help him deal with his issues :-)

#he was SURPRISED when I said I needed to go to therapy

80 notes

🎨 biamakesart follow

Hi! I just wanted to say, I’m open for commissions! Check my pinned post for more information.

Everyone remember to keep cool and always be yourselves 🌈💖🫶

2k notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi follow

Another day of being painfully in love with your female best friend while everyone thinks you’re in love with this annoying boy, because ”you seem so annoyed with him, thus you must care and have a crush on him”. Like shut up??

♻️ ✌🏼 arodarmivida follow

Oof yeah I hate everyone assuming you’re straight. Sadly I was in a comphet field for so long and had this mindset both about my friend and of others.

I also have a crush on my bestie. Everyone says she’s in love with a boy but she herself dismisses it. Hm. Do you think I should ask her if she likes girls?

♻️ 🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi follow

Uh!! Yeah!

Please update when/if you did!

Maybe I should confess to my friend too… hopefully it goes well.

♻️ 🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector follow

It’s been 3 days. How did it go? Did anyone confess?

♻️ 🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi follow

So, here’s a funny story…

Turns out @arodarmivida and I know each other irl. I should have guessed by her username, that’s literally my bestie’s favorite song.

♻️ ✌🏼 arodarmivida follow

Yeah guys plot twist we are the two best friends who secretly pined after each other and anyway we’re dating now 💜

♻️ 🌼 punk-not-dead follow

Happy 2 years to this wonderful post

♻️ 😎 rapmiro follow

Am I the only one curious about the boy they thought one of them had a crush on?

22k notes

💍 queenoftherink follow

Not my ”mom” trying to shape me to be exactly like her and then becoming surprised when I have the same stubborness and willpower as her.

♻️ 🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi follow

Why do you have ”mom” in quotations?

♻️ 💍 queenoftherink follow

There are some things that are too complicated to explain, my dear lesbian on the internet.

999 notes

📸 felicityfornow follow

It’s so funny because I’ve had this blog for so long that I forget that not everyone knows that my real name is not Felicity.

♻️ 🌼 punk-not-dead follow

Lol, reminds me of people who wonders why I have this url.

What can I say, it was 2012 and I had a phase. Now I am too lazy to change it.

♻️ 👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant follow

My url’s backstory is so funny because it’s from one (1) conversation I had with a girl where she called me an ant and then it just got stuck like this

♻️ 🌟 supernova-number-one follow

That’s so funny because I called my best friend an ant once. I guess it’s a common thing to call people 😁

My url is self explanatory obviously 😚😏🤩

60 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon follow

Fell out of my bed again 🤣🤣🤣🤣

♻️ 💍 queenoftherink follow

I’m so glad I decided to stare at you sleeping tonight so I could see that action.

♻️ 🧢 everythingscominguponmaxi follow

Why did you stare at her sleeping?

♻️ 💍 queenoftherink follow

We live together.

♻️ 🎤 singing-is-who-i-am follow

It still does not answer the question?

40 notes

🎸 beanie-guitarist follow

Here’s a reminder for @rollerskatingonthemoon to take her adhd meds, bestie I know you have forgotten

♻️ 🎸 beanie-guitarist follow

@ queenoftherink can you remind her if she does not see this

♻️ 🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon follow

I didn’t forget 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

♻️ 💍 queenoftherink follow

She ran into the kitchen and said ”WHERE IS MY MEDICINE I FORGOT” and then sat on the counter kicking her feet in the air as she took it.

Needless to say she did forget. Thank you for reminding her.

♻️ 🍓 chico-fresa follow

It’s so funny following y’all, because you sound exactly like people I know irl 😃

7 notes

[tell-me-a-story-maybe]

Commssions

Hello everyone! My name is Ayce, and I am here to tell you that I write commissions!

This is the first post I am making about this on this account, which is my commission account, to keep track of as well as allowing anyone to message me and send me asks!

Onto the content!

I write different things, to order, such as Fanfictions, Ficlets, Character stories/backstories (with provided details), and even ships! If you don’t see exactly what you’re looking for listed, feel free to shoot me a message with any questions you may have! I’m more than happy to work with almost any idea you have!

I have 15 slots available for commisions, and the turn around time for work, right now, is about three to a month, unless I tell you otherwise. This is due to the fact that I have a full time job.

I write all of my commisions on google docs and send sharable links

I take paypal but am also setting up a ko-fi, patreon, and more. Let me know!

My Prices

SFW (Two Characters)

$15 > 1k

$20 - 1k-2k

$30 - 2k-3k

$40 - 3k-4k

$50 - 4k-5k

+$5 for every 250 words over 5k

+$15 to each word count price for each additional character

NSFW (Two Characters)

$20 > 1k

$25 - 1k-2k

$35 - 2k-3k

$45 - 3k-4k

$55 - 4k-5k

+$10 for every 250 words over 5k

+$25 to each word count price for each additional character

What I Write For! (All caught up unless specified otherwise)

A Silent Voice (SFW ONLY)

Assassination Clasroom (SFW ONLY)

Arcane

Avatar the Last Airbender (SFW ONLY)

Blue Exorcist (SFW ONLY)

Bungou Stray Dogs

Demon Slayer

Fullmetal Alchemist

Genshin Impact

Gracity Falls (SFW ONLY)

My Hero Academia

Honkai: Star Rail (SFW ONLY FOR NOW)

Hunter x Hunter (SFW ONLY)

Legende of Korra (SFW ONLY)

Miraculous Ladybug (SFW ONLY)

One Piece (on fishman island pre timeskip)

Original Characters (DEPENDS)

Ouran High School Host (SFW ONLY FOR NOW)

The Owl House (SFW ONLY FOR NOW)

The Promised Neverland (SFW ONLY)

Steven Universe (SFW ONLY)

Soul Eater (ONLY ONE NSFW CHARACTER)

Voltron: Legendary Defender

Welcome Home

And many more! Feel free to shoot me a message or an ask if you don’t see something you want on here!

Types of Genre I write!

Angst

Fluff

Hurt/Comfort

Gore (depending)

AU’s (depending)

Who I’ll Write!

OC’s

Canon Ships

x Reader

OC x Canon

Self Insert

—

BxB

GxG

BxG

Trans/Enby/Gender Nonconforming/etc. Reader/OC/Character

Polyam

LGBTQIA+

What I Absolutely WILL NOT Write!

Pxdxphilia

Prxgnxncy

Chxldrxn

Sxxcxde

Rxpx/NonCon/CnC (ask if you do not know)

Chxld Nxdxty

Examples of my Writing

These are both SFW but my NSFW is very similar in type

[blueywrites]

I get what previous anon was trying to say. I dont think u need to write hair color or skin color for us to know that in the 1940s in the united states poc we're not happily welcomed. Eddie being white most likely was with a white woman. And i say this as a poc. Matter of fact whenever i read fanfiction i imagine reader being white in every fic even though im not white. 🤷‍♀️ Now the history of the US is not on ur hands and this is just a fun fanfic to get lost in but i do feel representation matters and i think as the author of this fic posting how u see reader kinda puts the idea in our minds that reader is white (with big boobs 🤪)This is in no way hate towards you cuz i seriously crush on you and will read anything u write. Please take this with a grain of salt as this just my 2 cents in the matter. ❤️

Hey babes! 💙 Believe me, I absolutely understand what you're saying here! My other major AU fic (TKYM) is set in modern day and, thus, it's totally believable that Sweet Girl could be any race whatsoever. I do agree with you that it's much harder with TD&TC. Inherently, considering the setting of this story is 1940s America, there has to be some MAJOR suspension of disbelief and disregard for the country's problematic history to cast Dove as anything but white. A friend of mine made an excellent point that in order for her not just to speak with her white male neighbors so comfortably, but also for the reason that they can't court to be because of fault with him and not her... Yes, 100% you would need to ignore reality and just read this story as a little escapist piece of fiction if Dove were not white. That being said, I am also very much ignoring the Great Depression and WWII as I am writing this version of the story btw, so that's in the same vein of playing pretend for the sake of enjoyment haha.

And certainly there's something to be said for the author putting an image out there of how they imagine a character, like that adds more weight to a particular interpretation. Maybe think of that this way: this is a reader insert, and I may be writing it, but I'm also reading it and loving it because I wish it was my life 😩. So I commissioned reader-insert artwork of this story where I'm very much the reader, and I just so happen to also be writing it 😂

So if anyone else wants to hit @toomanyacorns (or whomever!) up for some TD&TC artwork starring yourself as Dove, by all means, please feel free!! Or draw it yourself and please share with me because I would LOVE that! Any and all versions of Dove are welcome here 💙🪺

[whosbex]

*drops my pile of questions like a stack of heavy books* I decided to ask a little of everything:

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

13. What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

29. What’s your revision or editing process like?

31. Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

33. Do you want to be published some day?

34. Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

38. Would you ever write commissions?

39. Share a snippet from a WIP.

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

41. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

46. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

47. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

48. What do you look for in a beta?

52. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

57. Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished? 

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc) 

60. Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

62. Thoughts on cliffhangers?

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

67. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

70. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

71. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

72. What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Okay so I’m not even gonna number these cuz this is a lot 😭.

My creative process is like an on and off switch. Due to ADHD I’ll have an idea for a long time decide to map the story out then procrastinate…for a very long time

TBH I get inspired by other people’s fanart and fanfics.

Now pls don't copy your Auntie Caspian over here but I really just do what ever POV I want to do and feel in the moment if I want to change it I just go back and write it all over again if it's not too late.

If I do receive feed back I feel great! I really enjoy seeing comments and stuff and when I don't I feel fine but kinda overlooked if I'm being honest.

Prep the storyline and lore before anything. If you have all that sorted out you'll be given the liberty to choose what you want in the story or not.

When I have block I just make fanart or make the chapters in my head until I make myself so excited that I want to write again.

Really depends right now I'm doing a DK Fam AU/what if series but IDK what to call it except that (if ya'll have any suggestions pls DM me)

I only have one fic on AO3 so it would be tangled and tts characters lol

One thing that I have noticed( other than always finding a way to add Hispanic/Filipino culture in my fics) is that I tend to be very descriptive about surroundings and how the character feels.

Um I'm fairly new so idk about a lot of genres but all I know right now is that I will never make a story where the main character or any characters that have made it to the end to have a bad ending,if that makes sense. Like I want them to be happy after all the trauma I put them through.

Best advice: to plan things out and to have a draft

Worst advice: that I can't wing it. I do think planning is important but sometimes the best ideas come last minute.

Favorite part of writing: that I can put myself in the characters and what they go through and that I can use it as therapy for myself.

Least favorite: actually writing XD jk but kind of not lol. I also don't like how long editing can be but it's more fun when you can do it with a friend/beta reader yk?

It's long I can tell you that. If I don't have block editing is probably whats taking the longest.

I start with the characters and as I find out who the characters are then I make the plot as I see fit for them and how it can make them stronger and better.

YES ABSOLUTELY!!! I hav this OG story I'm working on and I really want it to be published some day and hopefully that day will be reality!

That I have improved and that I have put a few chapters out.

Depends on what they ask for.

Okay so a small thing I'm doing for my 'What if series' for tts is that I'm making Andrew a good guy and prince of Saporia. and I am also doing a lot of lore for that and giving him an angsty back story.

I'd like to see some Cass and Andrew fanart or some art of the DK cousins which would be Eugene,Cass,Varian and my two OCs Elana and Caspian.

Yah I would re-read fics I haven't because I have a lot to read but I would.

Angsty and wholesome. I wanna try to add a smidge of dark romance but I'm not that good at it so I might practice on that before I publish anything lol.

It's not too long but it can be painful. (if yk yk)

I like them to be honest but not mean when it comes to constructive criticism. and if you have any ideas for the plot or story I honestly would like to hear them out!

YES!!!! I like to respond and see what y'all think. I haven't gotten many but I do like to respond.

How I put a piece of myself in my characters.

It goes back and forth between my OCs and Cass from tts.

How detailed I can be.

I wait until I finish the chapter then I edit.

The lore planning.

She haven't commented ( at least i don't think she has) on a fic but they've helped me brain storm. And it felt nice and cool that I can call her a friend.

If I'm making a second book then yah I like cliffhangers,BUT THEY ARE SO PAINFUL AT THE SAME ASS TIME!!!!

Cass and Andrew scenes,Saporian lore,and Andrew's background. And ofc Erin and Hector moments.

I don't mind prompts.

Look at other people's work.

I'm very enthusiastic,and most of the time others say they can tell lol.

Honestly I don't think I've come across this problem the only thing I have trouble is finding the right words to put the scenes is play.

I write the scenes I'm excited for on paper and then write start to finish on my lap top.

What I think makes me stand out are the characters I create. All of them have either a part of me or have gone through the things I have or are modeled after people in my life.

[pjunicornart]

Hi! Read this please!

Welcome to my playground! You'll mostly see art here, as I am an artist. This is your warning: I AM NOT STRICTLY SFW. I post whatever I feel like, and that includes NSFW art/potentially triggering artwork. Rest assured they will be tagged and marked properly.

My commissions are open! Before you request a commission from me, please refer to this post: here.

About roleplaying: Not currently looking to do that sort of thing. I might make a blog dedicated to that in the future. But for now, no roleplays, sorry!

Send me asks! I take requests, and I love answering questions!

Please use she/they pronouns when addressing me, and you can call me PJ or Rosey. I'm 20, queer (aroace), suspected autistic, and a huge chocoholic.

Right now I'm working on Student's Echoes, a take on the Undertale NaJ AU owned by Dreamy's Mess, with some extra l o r e. You can check out Student's Echoes here: @studentsechoes

On this blog, I am working on Researcher Lewis. A very dark, twisted version of Lewis from Meet the Robinsons. Yes, he will be connected to my other major project (Student's Echoes). How? You'll have to wait and see... This is Researcher Lewis' basic concept. (cw: vent art/disturbing imagery) (to find Researcher Lewis posts, use #researcher lewis)

I am also working on Pasteltale. A very dark - but brightly colored - Undertale AU. It's gonna be bright, gorey, grotesque... everything I love! It will mostly appear as still images with some small comics here and there. This is Pasteltale's basic concept. (to find Pasteltale posts, use #pasteltale)

Other minor things I have here: Vampireverse (my reboot) - I have a version of the Vampireverse originally created by someone I do not wish to name. A version where Jasper is part Siren, and in love with a village girl named Lucy. PJ's Daycare (my reboot) - A story more geared towards older/mature audiences, it follows PJ - a recovering addict sentenced to community service and reform via therapy. Along this journey, he discovers a lot about himself. Various Lewis AUs - I LOVE Meet the Robinsons, and its main character, Lewis. I make tons of AUs of Lewis, and may occasionally share them here. Unicornverse - Underverse. But they're magical sparkly unicorns. This is a self indulgent thing, to be honest.

Themed Playlists - I like making playlists around a certain character, ship, or theme. You can check them out on Spotify! (Names act as the link.) Calamitree - A playlist for Bradilo (Bradley x Milo) from Milo Murphy's Law. Featuring two distinct sides of the relationship. Freckles - A playlist themed around my reboot version of Lewis from Meet the Robinsons. Missing Summer with PJ - Doodling on the bus seats while wishing it were Summer is better than going to school, says PJ. (NaJ PJ themed playlist.) Subject 07 - He has every right to be miserable, but he has a lot of love to give. Rainbow Trinkets - Jam out with Kawaii Lewis with all of your best colorful accessories on!

My persona's name is Rosey, and you can find her reference sheet here. Use #rosey's log to find out more about her.

I have two besties on here. @arinthehunter and @thecrispykoala! They're dating each other, and I couldn't be happier for them. Arin specifically is not only helping me write for Student's Echoes, but she's also writing her own fanfiction over on AO3. Go to her blog for details~

Do not interact: MAP/MAP supporters (pedos get out), TERFs, queerphobic/LGBT-phobic, crpyto-bros/NFT supporters, proshippers, ableists, misogynists, white supremecists/pretty much anyone who doesn't support movements such as BLM, racists, super straights I want this blog to be free of hate, so take your ass and shove it. Content Warnings Researcher Lewis: Blood, gore, psychological horror, disturbing imagery, grotesque imagery, torture, dehumanization, abuse (all forms), needles, alcohol(?), drugs Pasteltale: Blood, gore (pastel variety), extreme violence, grotesque imagery Special note for minors: Posts that might be triggering or too explicit for you will be marked as mature or tagged with "tw" type tags. I am not responsible for anything that happens to you. You have read the warnings, it is your call whether you heed them or not. Scroll safely and cautiously.

Enjoy my playground! Please be civil!