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#if i dont have any other hobbies lined up
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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bigwishes · 15 days
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Forced Freak
Tyson was a uni drop out, nothing special about him other than his pretty face and dedication to his diet. He had no real hobbies and no real friends. The only reason people paid him any real attention was because of his body. However guys got pretty turned off after a one night stand with him when they'd wake up and Tyson would have written them critiques about how to improve their bodies and performance in the bedroom.
Tyson was the worst kind of gym bro, not because he had no real personality, but because he was an asshole with no real personality, in fact when he wasn't coming home from the gym, taking selfies in the mirror or scrolling on grinder for someone to bounce on his waist he spent a large portion of his time staring in the mirror admiring his own perfection.
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"fuck yeah, I'm probably the hottest guy alive" he'd say as he rubbed his own crotch.
His arrogant attitude had essentially transformed him into a self obsessed autosexual, whilst he enjoyed sex and having a guy put in all the work whilst he laid back in pleasure he still preferred a night to himself and his mirror.
Tyson flexed his arm one last time, admiring the perfection before him before he turned off his alarm and got up to go to the gym.
"well, I'll see you when I get home handsome" he said winking at his own reflection and snapping his underwear band.
He threw on the folded red tank top and black gym shorts he had lying on his dresser, the ones he had steamed the night before. As he walked out the door he picked up his glass from his morning water and placed it neatly in the dishwasher before turning it on and leaving for the gym.
Upon arriving at the gym Tyson walked into the welcome area where he found 3 tall bodybuilders lined up at the key scanner. Tyson rolled his eyes and tried to avoid contact with them, he hated those freaks. The guys who willingly chose to inflate themselves with disgusting amounts of muscle. Who could barely fit in their cars and he huffed and sweat like bovine beasts when they got on the treadmill.
Tyson quickly got impatient and began tapping his foot as the 3 meatheads were holding up the line.
"are you beasts gonna scan in or am I just waiting here all day"
The three turned their heads to them almost in unison
"yoo you think we are beasts huhu" one flexed his enormous bicep that dwarfed Tyson's head
"hey Ty, what up lil dude. Wanna hit bench with us today? we we can help you grow that chest"
Tyson was disgusted at the thought of working out with the three of them and smelling their terrible stench or listening to them heaving for air.
"no thanks, its hard to improve upon perfection" Tyson said with a smirk
"aw come on dude, you can always improve and get bigger, you aint even close to your limit"
"and I dont want to be" Tyson said with a disgusted frown and one raised eyebrow
There was a loud ding and the three bodybuilders began waddling and shuffling their way through the electronic gate into the gym, having to turn sideways slightly to get their hulking frames in the turn gate.
"This is what I mean" laughed Tyson
"haha, can't blame us for being absolute units man"
"But doesn't it annoy the fuck out of you being like that?"
"no way bro, being this big is fucking awesome"
the three bodybuilders all began laughing and flexing
"I'm sorry I really dont see how turning myself into a...freak would be awesome"
There was a dead silence as the three bodybuilders stopped laughing and turned to him.
"that's a bit of a harsh word bro"
"yeah man don't diss the hobby coz you aint into it"
Tyson smirked flicking as he polished his fitness watch with the edge of his jumper "dude I dont think anyone is into it"
"what the fuck is that supposed to mean"
"umm being so big you have no style because you cant fit into anything, constantly covered in sweat marks, you reek after just a few minutes of exercise, you gulp down water like an elephant who hasn't drunk in a year, can barely fit in your cars and take up so much space, plus I like when guys find me attractive and aren't grossed out by my monstrous body" Tyson turned his back placing his gym bag in the locker completely unaware that the three men he had just insulted looked so red their heads could pop with anger.
"I'LL LET YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND LOOOOVVVEEESSS MY SIZE" the bodybuilder in the middle yelled through his teeth
"whoooaa jayce" the two others said in unison as they grabbed him by the chest and stopped him taking a step forward
"don't shoot the messenger buddy but Im pretty sure your husband wouldn't be disappointed if you lost 30-40lsb of muscle, pretty sure he'd enjoy date night without sitting across from a behemoth stuffing himself so full of protein like a slob"
Jayce threw his arms up in the air and pushed his two friends off of him turning around and walking away.
Tyson ignored the interaction implying pulling his towel and drink bottle out of his gym bag.
"You know what you need Ty..."
"and what's that Mark?" Tyson tiredly asked rolling his eyes
"A real good bulk, make ya real big, that'll change your mind" Mark smirked looking at his friend who was smiling back.
"whatever" Tyson groaned as he walked off into the gym.
---
A few hours had passed and Tyson was in the changing room admiring himself after his workout. It was enough to pump him to that perfect spot where he looked just slightly bigger and was a little sore, but not enough to make him sweat or stimulate the sort of growth a lot of gym guys were after.
Tyson flexed one bicep and ran his other hand down his thigh feeling himself get hard.
"Oh yeah handsome, just wait till I get you in my bed" He smirked at his own reflection.
Just then he heard the sound to the changing rooms open, his hand quickly shot up from his thigh, not wanting anyone to see his moment of lust.
He watched in the mirror as Jayce rounded the corner, his massive and wide shoulders causing him to bump into subway tiled wall. A massive smile lit up on Jayce's face as he saw Tyson standing there.
"Yep" Jayce yelled out
Dylan quickly followed behind and began walking towards Tyson, not that he thought much of it.
"Grab his left Dylan?"
"No worried Jayce"
Tyson was shocked as the two hulking bodybuilders suddenly grabbed hold of his arms and used what felt like all of their strength to sandwich him between them.
"h-HEY WHAT THE FUCK GET OFF" Tyson struggled and squirmed to get out of there grip but it felt like he was being pressed between two stone walls, he was unable to do anything other than pathetically kick his legs.
Just then Tyson heard the door to the changing rooms lock as Mark rounded the corner.
"Mark!, tell your fucking boys to let me go!"
The three bodybuilder's laughed as Mark walked closer holding a strange metal container in his hand that resembled a protein shaker.
"Hey lil dude" Said Mark with a big smirk across his face
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THREE WANT" Tyson snapped.
"to prove you wrong man" Jayce whispered
'w-what" Tyson continued to flounder and squirm to no avail
"you said being a bodybuilder sucked, well we are gonna prove you wrong" Dylan smirked tightly squeezing Tyson's arms
"h-how, Im not gonna start bodybuilding because you three threaten me"
"oh there is no threat bud, we have got something we want to try but dont know about the side effects wanna test it"
"ARE YOU GONNA JAB MY ASS FULL OF ROIDS" Tyson squeaked pathetically
"no dude, of course not" Said Mark
"we already know the side effects to roids" laughed Jayce
Mark grabbed onto Tyson's perfect hair and forcefully pulled his head back, Tyson couldn't see but he felt Jayce wrap his giant muscular arm around his pinning his between Jayce's bulky bicep and forearm and grabbing his cheeks forcing his jaw open.
"bottoms up pretty boy" Mark said as he flicked the cap off the contained with his thumb and shoved the mouth piece into Tyson's mouth.
"MMMMM -MMMM -MMMMMMM!!!!!!" Tyson tried to yell but his mouth was full of a strange thick liquid.
Mark dropped the contained and grabbed Tyson's nose still forcing the container to his lips
"gotta drink if you wanna breathe buddy"
Tyson couldn't hold it any longer
GULP...GULP...GULP.....GULP
Tyson sucked down what was in his mouth and what continued to pour from the container, when the last drop was drunk and all he could taste was air the three bodybuilders all let go in unison and Tyson dropped to the ground gasping for air.
"How long does it take to work Mark?"
"errr container says a few minutes for a start and a week for full effects"
Tyson couldn't concentrate on what the three were talking about, his body began to feel like it was being super heated, like his muscles and bones were being fried into pudy.
Tyson's hand began to tremble, as he looked at it pressed against the cold tiled floor he noticed his thumb enlarging, getting longer and thicker, it spread to all his fingers and his hand, at first he thought it was an allergic reaction but it wasn't puffy or fat, it was hard solid and defined, like all the muscles in his hands were suddenly expanding, he watched as his handed swelled up to the size of dinner plates as veins in his arms and forearms pumped in sync with his heart beat.
His forearms stared growing outwards and he felt his already tight and pumped biceps ache as they swelled even bigger. Seeing his reflection in the mirror he looked like a bad art project as different parts of his body were swelling with size and different times, his shoulders got wider as his calves got bigger, his pecs inflated as his feet grew out of his shoes, his abs bloated into a semi roid gut as his quads quickly filled with blood, and his ass pumped up into a big meaty globe as his traps crept up his back swallowing his necks.
after just a few minutes the three bodybuilders were stunned looking down at the sweaty bulky mess that was Tyson on the floor of the changing room.
Tyson had watched the whole thing in the mirror but still he couldn't recognise himself, what had happened, what they did to him.
He looked like one of them, a bodybuilder.
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"w-what did you do to me" Tyson moaned, out of breath and out of energy
"damn, he got huge so quick, and he still has a week to go?"
"please, no, no bigger, turn me back"
the three bodybuilders began to have a conversation around Tyson like he wasn't even there as he tried to pick himself up off the floor. A few minutes passed and Tyson finally stood up. He felt uncomfortable, muscles he didn't even know where near each other rubbed up against each other like every aspect of his body was fighting for space.
Tyson looked at himself horrified in the mirror at the big bulky freak he had become.
"oh fuck..m..my perfect body" he turned to the three men behind him "please, please you gotta turn me back"
"you still got a week of growin left bud" Mark replied
"PLEASE I CAN'T GET BIGGER"
Jayce smirked trying to contain his laughter
"Look dude, we said we were gonna show you how being a bodybuilder is awesome, let it go for a week and we'll check back in and if you still hate it, we'll turn you back"
Tyson turned back to his reflection and flexed, freaked out by his bicep being larger than his own head.
"see, its already awesome, see you later dude"
The three bodybuilders started walking out of the changing room
"no WAIT!!"
Tyson ran over to his bag feeling the weight of his new body with every step and feeling his hard muscles bounce. He leant over and swung his bag over his shoulder. He watched as the door closed behind the three and he ran to catch up. Every step was a chore, it was like an entire workout for just one leg to hold up the weight of his new massive body.
By the time he reached the door Tyson doubled over gasping for air, he placed his giant meaty hand on the wall and slid down the the floor, he had only run a few feet but it felt like he had just done and three hours of cardio without a break, he felt the sweat running down his back and struggled to come up with a reason anyone would want to be this big, why guys would dedicate their lives to become titans.
it took 15 minutes, for Tyson to catch his breath and stand up again and by the time that happened the three he was after were already gone, he walked through the gym defeated hoping nobody would recognise him. He made it to the turn gate and as he went to go through he felt a hard pressing against his shoulders. Not at all used to his new size Tyson hadn't adjusted the angle that he approached the gate and found himself stuck between the two steel bars. Tyson pushed with his back leg but didn't realise the power behind his colossal quads as he easily pushed himself out but he couldn't stop the moment and he came tumbling forward face first onto the floor in front and multiple gym attendants.
"woah, you okay big guy" one of them asked,
Tyson looked up and saw the other two doing their best not to laugh.
"yeah I'm fine!" Tyson tried to get up as fast as he could but the sheer weight of his frame meant it was an awkward step by step process that took almost a whole minute.
Tyson quickly raced out the doors as fast as his could but once again misjudged his giant muscles and his two shoulders slammed into the automatic doors not realising they weren't wide enough for him. A loud bang rang out and Tyson looked back as the glass automatic doors wobbled and shook, and ounce more pressure and they would have surely crashed down around him.
Tyson waddled through the car park desperate to get to his car. Swinging open the door he quickly realised why he had never seen a bodybuilder in a sleek sports car, he didn't fit, just one leg stepped in and there wasn't any more room for him to squeeze in. He tried everything, moving the seat back, moving the wheel up, but still he didn't fit. After about 10 minutes of doing everything he could think of to get in he just decided to force his way in.
Sliding into the car he felt cramped, and when he closed the driver's door it bounced off his arm and swung back open denting the car next to him. Tyson tried again leaning all the way into his car and shutting the door. It shut but as he sat back up he found himself on an awkward angle to the wheel, he tried to adjust himself to roll down the window so he could stick his arm out and get more space but as he placed his arm down on the leather seat to push his own body out the way he heard a loud tearing. His clothes didn't feel loser and he couldn't see what had torn but it sounded bad...
When Tyson arrived home he squeezed himself out of his car, it felt like being freed from a sardine can but as he turned around to shut his door he had found the source of the tearing noise from earlier, in the centre of the seat, directly under where he was, was now a large split right down the leather, seats that cost over a thousand dollars to fix split apart like paper, and that wasn't the worst of it, he looked at the lower back of the seat to see how the leather had warped and swollen from the amount of sweat that had been pressed against it.
"AW MAN" Tyson moaned slammed his car door, not realising the force his arms were able to put behind it and as the door lodged into place his hand carried the momentum behind it straight into the metal of the car leaving a large dent from his palm.
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME"
Tyson stormed over to his front door just wanting the day to end. He pulled up his keys to the front door and fumbled for a few minutes as he struggled to sort though them with his massive meaty fingers, finally he got in the door and shut it behind him as gently as he could which still resulted in a slam.
His stomach let out a loud groan, he had never felt so hungry so sudden in his life, Tyson tried to walk to the kitchen but realised it was more of a waddle has his massive muscular thighs slammed into each other. Arriving in front of his fridge he opened it up and grabbed one of his already made meals out and placed it in the microwave to heat up. He watched in spinning round and heard his stomach grumble as the 2 minutes felt like an entirety. Finally he heard the beep and opened up the microwave to devour his meal. What normally would have left him feeling full for hours didn't even make a dent in his hunger. Tyson opened up his fridge and moved on to his next meal without even heating it up, then another, then a protein shake to wash it down, then another meal and a couple apples, along with a banana or two, and of course he had to pull some of the muffins out of the freezer to defrost to have a bit later.
Tyson sat on his couch, feeling groggy and finally full. He looked around him, plates, protein shakers, wrappers and plastic containers were spread out all over his lounge room from the floor to the coffee table. He felt so heavy he didn't want to get up, he just wanted to pass out on his couch and go to sleep. As his eyes began to drift close...
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
The loudest belch he had ever heard forced him to jolt awake.
"aw fuc-uuuuUUURRPPP, this place is a mess"
Tyson finally realised he had trashed his lounge room in his feeding frenzy, he got up to try and clean but he didn't get very far. His body was so massive it was hard to move between his furniture and it was hard for him to constantly bend down to pick stuff up. On his second trip back from the kitchen to clean the last of the mess he finally noticed where he had been sitting, and the enormous sweat patch pressed into the fabric.
He pulled his tight tank top out from his body realising it looked like he had never washed it in his life.
"god, I need a fucking shower"
He made his way down the hall to the bathroom where he was shocked by his own reflection. He knew he had been turned into a hulking behemoth but, he looked like a completely different person now. His tank top was tight and clung to his body as his pecs hung out the sides. It was covered in sweat patches and strains from spilt protein shakes and food. His face was covered in a coat of sweat and his hair was oiler than he'd ever seen before. Tyson's gut churned as he let out another belch. He suddenly felt a tightness in his pants and he got hard.
"what the fuck..."
Tyson lifted up one arm to flex his bicep, he watched the sweat running down from his pits to his lats, he swallowed a quick gulp of air expecting maybe a small burp but was greeted with a massive room shaking belch. Tyson couldn't help it, he got rock solid staring at his sweaty body and hearing his own manly belching.
He worked his hand down awkwardly to his dick and started to pleasure himself.
He couldn't work it out, he missed his perfect body, he missed his old self, he was grossed out by being such a freak but god he was too horny to not please himself.
Right before his big moment he felt a wave of heat surge out into his body, his clothes felt tighter and suddenly the left strap of his tank top snapped as his shoulder, pec and arm practically doubled in size.
"AAH NO, NO NOT AGAIN"
Tyson watched as his dirty tank was torn to shreds by his growing body. His shorts felt tighter and tighter, soon he felt the sound of ripping fabric. As he turned to the side to inspect his growing legs he saw as his muscled ass split his pants in the back and the fabric quickly tore through making his shorts look like a bad loin clothe prop from a Halloween costume.
"OH FUCK NO, STOP, STOP AHHHH"
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Tyson could only watch as his body continued to rapidly grow in the mirror...
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3 weeks later
Tyson leant back on the workout bench groaning and gasping for air. It was the most he had ever lifted, not that he wanted to get bigger but it was the only thing he could do with his day at this point.
He heard the noise of 3 guys cheering as Mark, Jayce and Dyaln approached him.
"HEY BIG MAN" Said Mark
"oh great, what do you guys want"
"relax big guy, just wanted to bring you a snack" Dylan laughed as he pulled out a paper bag of drive through crispy chicken and handed it to Tyson.
"Dont forget to wash it down" said Jayce handing him a protein shake
Tyson didn't have the will power to hold back, his new muscle and size burnt so much fuel from simple existing he was practically starving constantly. He immediately reached into the bag and started eating as much as he could as fast as he could, washing it down with a swig of the protein shake, only taking breaks to gasp for air.
A river of chocolate protein ran down his cheek and dripped onto his XXXL tank top, which looked more like a medium crop top on him.
A young handsome gym attendant walked over to the group with a smile on his face.
"hey guys, just a reminder, you can't eat like that in here save it for outside okay" He smiled as he looked straight into Tyson's eyes.
Tyson's mind was racing, this guy was the most handsome guy he had ever seen in his life, we wanted to apologise for being such a slob, hell, he wanted to ask the guy on a date.
Tyson rubbed the crumbs and protein from his mouth away with the back of his hand and opened his mouth. Immediately he gritted his teeth and almost by instinct at this point cocked the side of his mouth open.
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPP!!
Tyson couldn't help but belch and burp as he struggled to get a word out.
"bro..that's nasty" the gym attendant laughed as he walked away.
Mark, Jayce and Dylan all erupted with laughter.
"DUUUUUUDDEEEE" yelled Dylan
"You aren't gonna get a date like that dude I tell you that" laughed Jayce
"They probably wouldn't date him even if he didn't burp every couple of minutes, I mean who wants to date a bodybuilder freak right guys" Mark laughed as he rubbed Tyson's shoulders
"Yeah, you're right Mark, nobody wants a freak like Tyson" Dylan chuckled.
Tyson couldn't control it, the sound of their laughter, the way the three called him a freak and a slob. His dick got hard and he felt as a mixture of pre and cum leaked into his underwear.
They were never going to change him back, he was going to be stuck as this good for nothing muscle pig, forever....
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he threw himself back down on the bench..
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP
970 notes · View notes
urwonnly · 3 months
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— ꩜ ENHYPEN BF HCS !
# hyung line ver.
# genre : fluff
# format : bulletpoint
# warnings : none :3
# note : i'll be posting maknaes soon! there may also be a nsfw ver. for legal line... (these r my opinions, they are not meant to be an accurate portrayal of any of them. this is me being delusional lmao)
# tags : @hoonigiris @kimsohn bc i would not have finished this without them <3 thank u for helping me with this
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⟢ HEESEUNG
loves seeing you get along with his friends. like it genuinely makes him feel like you can fit right into his life so perfectly 
wants something long term, looks to be with someone he can spend a long time with
casual intimacy; holding your hand in a crowd, hand around your waist when you stand next to each other, resting his head on your head. just likes to feel close to you :( 
likes taking you places, like you tell him you wanna try this new food spot and he says hes picking you up in ten minutes 
uses cheesy one liners just to see your face scrunch up before you laugh, thinks your laugh is the most beautiful thing 
rarely uses your name, he is always calling you some sort of pet name (and when he wants to be silly he calls you shit like “beautiful sweetie muffin cake”) 
he will pout if you dont use a term of endearment back
is also super supportive and encouraging; you mention slight interest in a new hobby and he’s immediately sending you videos of things you’d need and asking if you want him to get it for you
he loves seeing you succeed in whatever you put your mind to and loves to know that he can be a motivation behind those achievements 
you call him your muse one time and he almost cries 
hates to see you down, is the type to immediately try and cheer you up. but if you tell him you need space he will respect that (but he’ll still stay near you and fidget nervously because he doesn’t like not knowing what to do) 
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⟢ JAY
the most supportive™︎, like you just know he's always there for you whenever you need him
wants to feel needed; he just wants to know that he's taking care of you well, i imagine him constantly checking up on you and asking if you’ve eaten or drank water etc
more of a quiet lover; his love language speaks through actions more than words 
loveslovesloves dinner dates, likes to see the both of you dressed nice and looking good and loves to take pics of you eating good food
i dont see him doing matching couple outfits but he Does do coordinated couple outfits; his tie is gonna match the color of your dress, matches his accessories to yours 
i dont think he frequently uses pet names but he says your name so gently, your name is a term of endearment in itself 
loves to buy you things!! especially stuff you can wear or use everyday. he spends so much money on you and wont bat an eyelash abt it
likes to take pics of you, has an entire album on his phone full of pics of you and keeps a polaroid of you in his wallet 🙂‍↕️
you Never have to ask to wear his things, he literally doesn’t care. he won’t even ask for them back, he wants you to keep it. you asked one time to wear a hoodie and he’s like “of course babe, whatever you want.” and then tells you you don’t need to ask ever
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⟢ JAKE
he becomes head over heels so fast, just absolutely enamored 
he had a crush on you for soooo long, like all the other members were painfully aware of it way before he was and it lasted so long, u ended up realizing before he ever confessed
i think if he was a bit intimidated by you, you may have had to be the one to ask him out first
he loves going out just as much as he loves staying in but when you two do go out, he likes to be doing something fun 
also big on casual intimacy; wants to be holding you in some way at all times. he rests his head on you, has his pinky intertwined with yours, plays with your fingers while you're talking, keeps an arm around your waist or shoulders
wants to show you all the things he’s interested in; soon enough you start sharing interests just bc of how much he talks about them 
the most caring, is always willing to listen to you vent if you’ve had a rough day or celebrate with you if you’ve had a good day 
he will absolutely go on long-winded rants about some niche subject only he's well-knowledgeable in and you sit there listening to him with hearts in your eyes bc he gets so animated abt whatever it is (...even if you have no clue what he's talking about)
even after dating, he still acts like he has a crush on you; getting flustered when you call him baby, blushing when you catch him staring, etc
also loves to have pictures of you, any pic you’ve sent him is immediately saved in his camera roll and added to his collection; you’re probably his wallpaper on All his devices 
in a non idol au he would most definitely flood his insta story and feed with all the pics he takes of you
talks about you all. the. time. (save jayhoon atp) 
he swears he falls more in love with you every day. like if he looks at you for too long he starts having heart palpitations (real). every time he sees you smile he feels like he has a crush all over again and he can’t help but follow you around with hearts in his eyes.
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⟢ SUNGHOON
takes his time; you two have probably established you like each other for some time now but he doesn’t want to rush into things
also wants something long term; has no patience for games lmao 
i think he’s cautious about his heart, he wants to fully know he’s ready before he dives into anything
once you do make it official, he brags about you to anyone who will listen any chance he gets 
so supportive and knows how to push you when you start to lose motivation, will always want the best and more for you 
wants you to confide in him, even about the little things; tell him what you did today or who got on your nerves at work he lives for it 
he is a listener; feels like he can never know enough about you so he’s constantly keeping you talking 
also likes when you show interest in him and his passions; he gets shy about it but underneath that he loves it
the pictures he takes of you are almost always you being silly or cute; you wear one of his hoodies for the first time and he cannot keep the smile off his face because he thinks you’re adorable 
power couple vibes; likes when people gawk at the two of you in public (he likes to show you off) 
is possessive but not in a “you're mine.” way….. like he thinks he's subtle about it and he's definitely not. he leaves his hoodies at your house in hopes you'll wear it one day or he keeps an extra jacket in the car for you in case you forget yours. and when the day comes and you complain about being cold he's like “you can wear my jacket… you know if you want to..” and of course you know he's been waiting for this but you think it's funny to see him try and play it cool. 
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fullsunfilm · 11 months
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svt hyung line as your bf hcs
im not sure what inspired this but here are some hcs for svt's hyung line being your bf >.<
svt x f!reader, all fluff
wc: ~1.9k
read the maknae line ver
seungcheol
☆ always "accidentally" leaves his clothes at your place (and loves when you wear them or return them and they smell like you)
☆ puts his arm around your waist whenever he can. he loves how you both look in photos with his arm around you
☆ lets you put kkuma's pins in his hair and poses next to her ("arent we cute? we look alike, right?")
☆ takes you out to eat at fancy restaurants just to see you all dressed up. he likes the way everyone in the room turns to stare at you as you walk in. you look gorgeous, and hes so smug about being your boyfriend its almost annoying.
☆ loves matching couple jewelry, especially rings. will always buy them and give them to you saying "look, these are so cute! we can match!!"
☆ buys you literally everything you look at (hes definitely a big gift giver) and wont take them back even if you leave them in a box at his doorstep.
☆ the type to pull up anywhere at any time with just one text from you just so you dont have to drive. even if youre not a passenger princess, youll turn into one while dating him
☆ possessive; definitely demands that your lock screen is a photo of him kissing you to ward off other guys. hes even asked you to start wearing his cologne so that they know youre taken
☆ loves to pout at you until you give in and give him what he wants (usually, a kiss)
☆ you basically cure his insomnia. he always tightens his grip on you when you try to get out of bed in the morning and makes you late to work ("babe, if you leave i won't be able to sleep. just stay for five more minutes..")
jeonghan
☆ loves to tease you and see your reaction, but reads you well and knows when to stop
☆ a bit mean, but in the most endearing way possible. the type of start play fights in front of your friends and suddenly burst out laughing when they get all concerned
☆ lets you hold on to him for as long as you need to, especially in situations where he knows youre uncomfortable
☆ whisks you away from crowded areas to be alone with you and hug you
☆ keeps a candid polaroid of you in his wallet
☆ sets your lock screen as an extreme close-up of his eyes that jumpscares you the next morning
☆ a bit shy about showing affection in front of others, but eventually gets used to it and becomes more bold as time goes on
☆ knows exactly how to press your buttons and does so all the time, only to relieve the tension between the two of you with a boop on the nose or a kiss that makes you laugh
☆ enjoys spending time with you at home more than outside, but does take you on spontaneous shopping sprees when he gets a burst of energy (you leave the mall after an hour of looking around because he's tired)
☆ listens to you and comforts you when youre having problems, but is able to gently tell you when its your fault without making you upset (its a gift!)
joshua
☆ always thinks of you whenever hes out shopping and ends up buying you gifts that remind him of you
☆ loves to surprise you and see your reaction with back hugs and kisses
☆ remembers your dietary preferences/restrictions and puts in extra effort to buy foods that fit them
☆ pulls up with two drinks instead of one without even needing to ask you
☆ hand-makes you something related to his newest hobby (a bracelet, perfume, etc.)
☆ loves to watch you talk about things youre passionate about. he loves the way your eyes light up and (although he cant understand a single thing about your tangent) tries his best to keep up with you
☆ always up for a challenge, specifically ones that end in him receiving kisses ("really? alright, bet.")
☆ loves to play with your hair and helps you style it whenever he can
☆ listens to you when youre upset and just allows you to rant it all out while rubbing your back and holding you close
☆ makes the cheesiest acrostic poems for you and laughs when you cringe at him
jun
☆ loves hearing your laugh (and he'll do anything to keep hearing it)
☆ goes out of his way to do weird things to make you crack a smile and distract you if youre sad/uncomfortable
☆ likes it when you run your hands through his hair. he lays his head on your lap and lets you massage him
☆ takes photos of you whenever you make a weird face in your sleep and looks at them when hes bored (they give him something to smile about when hes away from you)
☆ hugs you from behind and lays his head on your shoulder whenever he needs comfort
☆ up for anything! a late night drive to get the most unhealthy burgers in existence? sure! dressing up in stupidly large mustard and ketchup costumes for halloween? absolutely! waking up at the asscrack of dawn to prank minghao with silly string? hes already on his way!
☆ tries his best to stay up with you for as long as possible, but finds you so comfortable that he ends up falling asleep with his head on your lap
☆ hangs out with your friends and lets you hang out with his, too. definitely the cause of a friend group overlap/merger
☆ gives the worst advice as a joke before he gives you his actual advice just to see your dumbfounded face
☆ gives in to the kitty agenda and lets you jokingly paint whiskers on him with your eyeliner. the selfie he takes afterwards is saved as your lock and home screen.
hoshi
☆ makes you horanghae for a photo and sets it as his home and lock screen
☆ helps you paint your nails on your non-dominant hand, but ends up leaving a mess. he pays for a manicure afterwards to make it up to you
☆ tries to teach you how to dance and is genuinely encouraging. he doesnt laugh or make you feel bad when you make a mistake, instead just helping you through the movements until you can dance a simple routine with him
☆ is always bragging about you to his friends and is super proud of you and all your achievements ("guys.. my girlfriend is literally the smartest, prettiest, most loving person ever.. how did i even manage to pull her?")
☆ always supports you on your endeavors! he makes constant deep-dives into your hobbies and interests so he can enjoy them with you and talk about them with you
☆ is super affectionate when hes drunk (hes been latched on to you and peppering kisses on your face for the past hour and he has no plans of stopping for the rest of the night)
☆ seems to get into the most odd situations that you bail him out of, but hes thankful every time
☆ hes a big hit with your friends and family. they all love him and he prides himself in that
☆ gets way too excited while spending time with you and ends up spilling the drink hes sipping on (he cleans it up while you laugh at him)
☆ takes you with him everywhere he goes. his friends are accustomed to the two of you being a package deal
wonwoo
☆ normally wouldnt go out of his way to do anything, but commits to any silly bit you have in mind with full passion and force (even if it makes him blush like an idiot afterwards)
☆ likes to have you in the room/next to him when he plays video games (the type to say "gg gf buff" after he wins his ranked games)
☆ he silently cares for you; he puts his hand over sharp corners so that you wont get hurt if you bump into them, he walks on the outside of the sidewalk so that you wont get hurt by the cars, he always puts out your work shoes so that you can just slip them on during the morning rush
☆ hes always watching after you and keeping an eye on your surroundings. he wraps his arm around your waist and is extra affectionate when he sees a creep staring at you
☆ the type to let you hog the blanket on cold nights without much pullback. he resorts to cuddling closer to you to stay warm
☆ reassures you that even though he doesnt show it as boldly as others do, he loves you and plans to stay with you forever
☆ goes grocery shopping with you after his afternoon nap. his hair looks like a bird's nest, but he doesnt mind and follows you around the market fondly, making sure to hold your hand as he walks
☆ loves it when you need help getting things off the high shelf. he loves to tease you about it and likes your frustrated expression
☆ he wears his glasses more often because you like them on him
☆ when he wakes up every morning, his arm is numb from you laying on it for the night. still, he doesnt move a muscle until you stir
woozi
☆ even with one of the busiest schedules on earth, he still makes time for you. for the time he cant see you, he leaves you small, thoughtful gifts
☆ he has a small part of his studio decorated and furnished just for you
☆ he always lets you listen in on what hes making, and asks for your opinions. he really takes what you say to heart and even makes the members re-record some parts just so he can see how your suggestion fits in to the song
☆ he takes you to the gym. regardless of whether or not youre actually working out with him, he likes having you there with him to cheer him on. it pushes him and makes him hit a new PB every time!
☆ even though he doesnt show much affection physically, he shows it through his music. he has countless songs saved in his drafts with lyrics about you, about how perfect you are, and about how youre constantly running amok in his mind and heart
☆ writes lots of his solo songs for you, and even records drafts of them, but can never manage to sing them to you without blushing like a madman and having his voice crack from the nerves
☆ he honestly thinks youre the most wonderful person hes ever met. he loves you completely and has no doubts in his mind about his feelings. you complete him.
☆ his apartment, previous cold and empty, is full of life thanks to your decorating skills and the scent of your lingering perfume
☆ he loves it when you wear lipstick and kiss him. when he looks in the mirror, he can see the hues of your pretty red lipstick all over his face and neck
☆ the type to make you look at him by grabbing your chin and turning your head. he likes your flustered reaction and kisses you to help you regain your composure
a/n: this was so fun to write!! maknae line next :3
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catwhispers0 · 7 months
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✧༝┉˚*❋ Silly Pickup Lines ❋*˚┉༝✧
Featuring - 
Cyno, Al Haitham, Tighnari, Kaveh, Zhongli, Xiao, Scaramouche, Neuvillette, Wriothesley
gn reader - pronouns: you/your
Tw and authors note - might be a lil suggestive for some lines, i dont play genshin 😭😭 so if any of the characters are kinda goofy its cause im too poor for that game, ooc, bad grammar 😬 VERY LIGHTLY EDITED, annoying reader lol
minors shoo shoo as always
✧༝┉˚*❋ Cyno ❋*˚┉༝✧
“do you believe in love at first sight, or should i walk by again?”
finally, its my time to shine
“do you have a bandaid? because i scraped my knee falling for you.”
“are you a time traveler? because i see you in my future.”
“if we were socks, we would make a great pair.”
if anyone were nearby, they would be gone now. you would surely attract a crowd of people who appreciated the little pickup line competition more, if you werent in the middle of a library. 
“are you a loan? because youve got my interest.”
“if you were a vegetable, youd be a cute-cumber.”
that was the breaking point of the poor librarian, who hoped you two would just stop on your own. but nothing could stop you before you could fluster cyno, and he could go all day and night before he would fluster you. 
so, yea, yall got kicked out of the library, but at what cost? honestly, yall never stopped throwing terrible pickups at each other, much to the pain and disappointment of anyone around you (cough tighnari cough).
but depending on your strength against cynos charms, you may last either forever, or give cyno a new hobby of flustering you whenever and wherever he could.
✧༝┉˚*❋ Al Haitham ❋*˚┉༝✧
“do you have a name, or can i just call you mine?”
Al haitham just looked up from his book, confused. 
“i have a name, did you really forget it?”
well this was odd, he thought you were smarter than this. forgetting his name, really?? of all the things you could forget, his name was one of the most, no, THE most offensive one. 
maybe you tripped and hit your head on the way in. he didnt think you were the smartest person in sumeru, but surely you werent stupid enough to forget the scribes name. 
“no, i know your name, but can i call you mine?”
he somehow found a way to look even more confused. ‘can i call you mine’ who is ‘mine’?? oh. wait. mine!! 
by the time he finally realized, you walked away with a cheeky grin. he was left in the dust, flustered. and to think he thought you were dumb. 
now, how was he going to work for the rest of the day?
✧༝┉˚*❋ Tighnari ❋*˚┉༝✧
“arent you tired of running through my mind all day?”
he put his head in his hands in defeat, dropping the papers he was working on. with his ears flat against his head, he groaned. 
“...are you ok nari?” 
“no.”
“...”
after a moment, he looked up at you. he had a disappointed, dead-panned expression. his ears were still flat and he just stared at you, ridiculing you in awkward silence. 
he thought he would only have to deal with one idiot in a life time. why were you so..? annoying? no, thats not it. alluring? maybe… he didnt understand how through all of the shenanigans you pull him through, all the terrible jokes and one liners, youve sill managed to capture his heart and let him keep you around. so yea, alluring.
“... do you wanna hear another one?”
*sigh* “sure, but only if its good.”
his reluctance was apparent in his voice, but the agreement was a good sign. 
you gave it a beat of time to dig through your head for a clever one that would sweep tighnari off his feet. 
“i think i need to see an optometrist, because i cant keep my eyes off of you~.”
“...”
“...” “get out.”
“...ok”
✧༝┉˚*❋ Kaveh ❋*˚┉༝✧
“i must be in a museum, because youre a work of art.”
The architect nearly chokes on his drink and spits it out. you scramble to help him out of concern though there was little you could do in the first place. 
so pat him on the back awkwardly as he endeavors his coughing fit. sometime through the hacking, you notice it has shifted to laughter. 
“what are you laughing about?? are you ok??”
“-yea, im fine, you are just too cute! you caught me off guard.” 
with this, he picked you cheek adoringly. you gave him an incredulous look, this man really choked on his drink and now he demeans you? absolutely not. 
you turn on your heel and walk away after giving him a look of a mix of disappointment and exasperation. 
he follows quickly after to try and pester you for the rest of the day on ‘how adorable you are’.
✧༝┉˚*❋ Zhongli ❋*˚┉༝✧
“are you a geo user, because you rock my world! *wink*”
a small smile and a giggle does little to hide his growing flush. he looks away for a moment, letting your words settle in the air. 
why did you have to be so cute? and you look at him expectantly - waiting for a reaction. you didnt think he would fall that easily, hm?
-though, he does appreciate a challenge. 
sure, hes heard plenty of one-liners in his time, most when and about his dragon or archon forms. but he didnt expect you to exchange one with him, he doesnt know what to do or how to feel. 
“you are something, my dear. are you hungry? its about time for my lunch break, i thought you wouldnt mind the offer, seeing as you seem to want to sweep me away so badly.”
“something?” 
what was that supposed to mean? a good something or a bad something? his reaction did little to answer, but you took him up on his offer. maybe tomorrow you would get him. 
gotta keep that old man on his toes afterall. 
✧༝┉˚*❋ Xiao ❋*˚┉༝✧
“are you an adeptus, because youve reached a depth of my heart.”
at first, Xiao thought it was some adepti pun, but as the day went on, he wasnt so sure. 
it had become such an issue, the yaksha had began pacing around with his finger to his chin and a furrowed brow. 
he was overthinking it, he knew that, but he needed to know what it meant to be in a “depth of your heart”. did you mean it as friendly dialogue? or was there something more…? 
was this a sign? a hint? a clue? a puzzle? he didnt know. how could you do this to him, what is he supposed to make of this?
could you have put him in a depth of your heart that noone else was? Perhaps it was wishful thinking. archons, why were mortals so complicated?! 
by the time he had worked himself up to confront you about the issue that plagued his heart, the sun set and the stars had risen. 
‘maybe tomorrow then, ill let you rest for now.’ he thought as he watched you sleep peacefully, protected. 
✧༝┉˚*❋ Scaramouche ❋*˚┉༝✧
“im not a photographer, but i can picture us together.”
*silence*
“scara?”
“no.”
“what?”
“no, you are not doing this.”
aaaand he walks away…
as much as you try to talk to him after that, he avoids you. it doesnt last long though, maybe 2-3 days. 
still, not very nice. you knew he wasnt the best person in the communication department, but wow.
anytime you tried to bring it up, he would shoot it down or avoid confrontation. 
how nice would it be if he would just tell you if he was uncomfortable with teasing like that? 
with all the teasing he makes you go through, you would think he could endure some himself. maybe he wasnt used to it though, or maybe you connection with him didnt abide by the rules of hypocracy. 
maybe you should shun him back? a taste of his own medicine. 
so thats how you ended up with indigo eyes piercing into you soul. as soon as you gave him any hint of a cold shoulder, his disappeared. 
hes a stubborn man, he wont just go talk to you like a normal person. and all this over a cheesy pickup line. 
its more than that though, the way he treats you is much more that what he can handle himself. be gentle on him, he doesnt know these things. 
he doesnt know this feeling that arises every time he looks at you, when you say his name in that pretty voice of yours, the faces and reactions you make that are too precious for anyone else to see. 
so when you hit him with a one-liner, maybe the feeling is too unbearable for the guy. 
go reassure him, he needs it. 
✧༝┉˚*❋ Neuvillette ❋*˚┉༝✧
“your lips look lonely, can mine keep them company?”
Neuvillette nearly dies on the spot. this is the most romantic gesture hes ever heard of - he loves poetry, you know.
“why of course, my love.”
okay
okay, you just kissed the chief justice of fontaine. wow wow wow cool cool okay dont freak out. 
his face is still so close to yours - hairs away. his eyes meet yours, full of love and adoration. 
his lips are still parted, you can feel his breath against your lips. 
they were soft and gentle. would he mind if you went in for another? surely not..?
and just amd you closed your eyes, they were startled open. a melusine opened the door and interrupted your moment. 
oh well, how could you be mad when the look neuvillette snuck you screamed 'meet me again and we can pick up where we left off'.
✧༝┉˚*❋ Wriothesley ❋*˚┉༝✧
“you should lock yourself up, ya know, stealing is prohibited. “
he plays along immediately, smiling, but doesnt lift his eyes from his paperwork. 
“and i am so very sorry for your lunch, perhaps you could let me go with a fine, my generous love?”
your lunch? oh, hes gonna pay for this! you didnt even know about it until now, too! 
“my lunch?! what did you do to it?!” 
he looks up finally. 
“you dont know? oh well never mind dont think about it, love. its for… the better…”
how mysterious. if you could deadpan him harder, you would. 
“...so, what else did i steal?”
the audacity.
“well if you have to know, it was going to be cute and romantic, i was going to say you stole my heart but you can just give it right back, along with your lunch.”
and you walk away, off to check where you put your food. 
some wishful thinking said that he was just joking for a bit, but knowing him, you cant always be sure…
---------
if u want any other characters, drop a request in my mail/ask box ❤️❤️
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drdemonprince · 9 months
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When other people say that they do not have enough time to get something done, they (often, if they're quite healthy) mean they are taking into account the time it takes to do the laundry and arrange new pieces of furniture and cook dinner and meet up with friends to see a movie and run to the post office or the hair dresser and take the dog for walks and do the dishes and paint their nails and drive to the store and go to their cousin's wedding and go to the barbecue their friend is throwing on the weekend
they don't winnow their life down to just spending time at the computer, working from when they wake up until they cannot focus their eyes anymore, granola bars, coffee, and bottles of water all around them because of course they did not take time to have lunch or breakfast, only dragging themselves away from work when they are truly too exhausted to do any of it anymore, and then lacking the energy to do much of anything that remains of life but to eat a tiny bit more, sponge themselves off, and go to sleep.
i just saw a video of a fursuiter on their bed, legs kicked back, head propped on their hands, delightedly announcing that after many years of hard work they had finally finished their Master's degree. And some part of me, some sick withered part, thought really? you had time to do a Master's degree while also getting a fursuit done? and going to conventions, presumably? you had time in the day to research fursuit makers, have a sona designed and drawn by someone else (or to draw it yourself), to contact a maker to make a duck tape dummy of yourself, and to have a friend over to help you make it and to cut it off of you, to send it in the mail to the maker, to then get it and make videos? you had time to set up this beautiful bedroom that i see in your video, with a soft pink sham on the bed and LED lights behind your bookshelf and lamps and all kinds of stuffed toys? you had a life? you were out playing, and dancing, and pursuing your hobbies, and you did a master's degree?
because when i was working on my doctorate, there was nothing. three layers of foam on the floor with a fitted sheet over it. a folding card table from aldi that had cost $40 that my grandparents got me. no food in the fridge. no time to even get the internet installed, just stolen wi-fi when my laptop could pick it up. i woke up, got dressed, and slunk into the office. i sat alone in the dark working until my hunger made me furious and i could not write another word. and then i walked to the grocery store, got something to subsist on, went home, ate, kickboxing video, went to sleep. every day. with almost nothing breaking the routine.
and ive gotten better, so much better, but my brain still kind of works that way. i feel like i have to quit my job and stop being a writer if i want to have hobbies. to paint my bedroom. to marinate a meat for longer than fifteen minutes. to get a driver's license again. to take a trip. but i dont want to be like that any more. how do people know when to stop? i feel like i have to give everything my absolute all until there is nothing left or else i have done nothing. i feel that i would have to treat a hobby like a job to get it done. I feel that anything that takes more than two minutes is a huge waste of time i must feel guilty for. i am working on all these things. jesus i have been working on them for years at this point. but because i have been so successful at telling people to do less, i get pulled in. interview. workshop invitation. email. urgent in the subject line. call from my agent. meeting request from my boss. new book idea, better sell it now while my sales figures still look good. recording studio session. deadline. writing. can you talk about this. can you talk about that. tag. email. book idea. deadline. long heartfelt email. still so often i have to take my own damn advice.
and this is why i am getting a fursuit made!! and going to cons! and going to leather and latex events! and making socials that are separate for these things!! i am going to let myself be silly and soft and do frivolous things. i am so sick of what i do to myself, all the pursuit of seeming like a strong mature adult.
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weirdmageddon · 3 months
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ok. let's finally talk about this thing i've been wanting to go public with for ages
so i am not a fan of needing THC to help me curb the embarrassment i have in being happy talking about my real realll special interests, because perceived rejection of my interests feels like rejection of myself since i put so much of myself (my time) into them. i anticipate rejection from others because the stuff i find myself occupied with is detached, abstract, highly technical, or niche, and i'm aware of the surrounding cultural assumptions. some of them, and the level at which i am in involved in understanding them, are really specialized or esoteric, so even opening up about them is like "fuuuck im gonna be made fun of or it’s gonna be too technical that they zone out and dont understand why this is so meaningful to me" ive even posted about that feeling before.
see if i start accumulating too much self-context made in my own mind without sharing it i start to feel more and more isolated from other people around me, that they’re not seeing the full extent of what im seeing myself. i don’t share it, because i fear rejection or superficial judgments in other people’s eyes (probably because it’s happened to me and i’ve seen it happen to others). but at the same time it has to be shared with more people around me or else i feel like i have an intestinal blockage in my mind. what happens is my mental colon explodes from all the shit accumulated over time and vou get a post like this. i’m sorry for that mental image btw. anyway back the point of this post
anything where i can systematize archetypes in real, everyday situations has always been my strong suit. so when people ask me my hobbies im like ... uhhh what am i supposed to say? i analyze stuff about the world and rotate it in my mind. when carl jung wrote there are “as many archetypes as there are typical situations in life” i know exactly what he was talking about.
i’ve been toeing the line to really talk about this thing for two years, so let me tell you about socionics. if you already know what im talking about i love you. if you don’t (or even if you do, keep reading there’s probably stuff you don’t know in here), it is part abstract cybernetic model, part jungian concepts, part philosophy of information exchange. it classifies how people communicate and exchange information. it was created in eastern europe in the late 70s, developed primarily in the 80s-90s by other authors and it’s been an endlessly fascinating, elegant, and reliable tool for me.
usually people dismiss personality typology systems because the mbti became so watered down and pop-culturally saturated that people seemed to collectively take a stance of not taking anyone that genuinely cares about it seriously, or at least that’s the impression i got.
(btw — i need to go on this brief rant — i will never forgive 16personalities for being the big five rebranded and people thinking it's mbti. 16personalities gives you your big five type. they explicitly state on their website that they don’t borrow any concepts from jung. -A and -T don’t exist in the mbti and correspond directly to low and high neuroticism respectively. i figured out myself they mapped each letter dichotomy to the other four measures on the big five: extraversion (I/E), conscientiousness (P/J), agreeableness (T/F), openness to experience (S/N). which is stupid and it’s false advertising. take 16p and a big five test see for yourself how they match up. your personal mbti type can be different from its correlated big five type. the actual mbti using jungian concepts as a base is alright though. oh, and the best neo-jungian mbti stuff is by far michael pierce’d takes on it. if you actually fw that heres a carrd i created a few years ago about the cognitive function axes.)
but i always end up going to the bottom of the iceberg in anything i get really into, and i basically integrate it into my own understanding of the world around me for a while. maybe it was because i had a bad experience genuinely talking about it a few years ago from some people who made superficial judgments about it that made me sort of quiet about my interest in typology systems. i assume it’s because myers and briggs used the tool towards racist ends; it acquired negative connotations, bullshit intuition supremacy, and left the study of psychological types tainted in the united states. even if the individual’s study of the system is neutral, unbiased, out of pure curiosity as a way to classify and relate different personality structures to each other, as was the case with me. in addition to 16personalities being an invalid “mbti” test that bought their way to the front page of google, and rampant superficial information at all levels of study, finding anyone who was into it like me was basically impossible. the reason i have a preferred interpretation of jungian + mbti concepts is because i’ve tried different ones on and sensed how well they conform to reality as a way of describing phenomenon, ditching old ones that werent as clear. michael pierce’s i’ve found are the closest to what i sense jung's intentions were. (actually quite likely this is something i would attribute to being because all three of us are types LIl (and also all infj too, how about that?) brain-to-brain communication LII (carl jung) to LII (michael pierce) to LII (me)). so i felt like michael pierce kept the things that worked in real life and ditched the things that didn’t, leaving behind his elegant integration of the concepts.
anyway, i was under the assumption that anything that could be mistaken for it—which socionics often is at a glance—would be dismissed out of hand, even though it’s entirely different. plus, there’s all the context i’d need to clarify about how “it’s different from the “fun” unserious pop-psych mbti and also absurdly more technical” and what's the point in doing that if they don't respect you enough to hear you out anyway? so it just made me closed off.
they share a common ancestor though. the concepts are still based on carl jung’s book ‘psychological types’ which is why there is some shallow overlap, but the scope, structure, and application of it is different. i feel like this system is a lot more “living” and relevant to real interactions and communication between people in our everyday lives. i am always seeing specific examples of these concepts in play in real life and in characters depicted in media. it’s also been more empirically studied and successfully implemented over in eastern europe, and has gone under constant development and contribution. while since the 50s, mbti had crystalized and become stagnant with diverging interpretations to the point where it’s become basically meaningless to try to talk about because nobody can agree on concepts or semantics; there are virtually no distinctions between “schools” or “models” to differentiate interpretations — (although i have my preference for what i think are the most meaningful and reasonable one; as i said, that goes to michael pierce.) eastern (not so much western) socionics is incredibly more well put-together than mbti or kiersey for squeezing the potential from jung’s original ideas, and goes much deeper. that said, i will ALWAYS advise self-studying typlogy concepts over taking a test. the algorithm of a test can never possibly know you and your individual biases in interpreting the meaning of the words better than the knowledge you just have about yourself. if you learn the theory underlying it you will actually learn about yourself and others and it will actually mean something to you instead of a being an empty decoration for your profile.
here is a comparison chart i translated into english so you can get some idea of where these systems actually differ.
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Букалов, А. (2019). On the advantages of socionics over other post-Jungian typologies. Socionics, Mentology and Personality Psychology, (6), 5–7. Retrieved from https://publishing.socionic.info/index.php/socionics/article/view/2603
for me it’s been super insightful applied to real life. it is like a toolkit for interpreting why some people just rub me the wrong way and our communication feels disjointed. or why some people pass my vibe check to enter my personal inner circle and i feel like talking with them is easier and not an uphill battle. who i feel drawn to and want to get to know better. to deconstruct why i and other people interpret information in the world the way they do, and how that explains the kind of people i end up curating in my life. it has put into words the concepts i haven’t been able to find the words for beforehand, and thus enables me to retrospectively pinpoint exactly what unconsciously makes people feel more at ease or why communication is just easier with some and why it’s harder with others, regardless of any other factors. there are other factors of course, that are the result of unique circumstances—nurture, culture, and upbringing—and i of course account for those, it’s not as pertinent to me as the framework that provides the skeletal structure regardless of those individual variations that are simply already a given for me. that was actually the whole point of its creation.
the system gives me a common language to communicate these ideas with, at least to the few people i talk to who have learned it, but i can adapt the concepts in how they relate to specific circumstances and convey it to a lay audience. i’ve been doing just that to explain why, of the people who have been made aware of the hs rarepair john-aradia, i have seen no one object to it, and instead, everyone i saw found it intriguing the more they thought about it, even when they initally thought was “so random”. and i realized, “hey wait! i know how to explain that!”, but that's in another post i've been working on.
[i was actually originally writing this post in the middle of said aradia and john analysis but i felt like there was way too much i wanted to talk about as its own thing. i figured people are going to be reading that post for john-aradia explanation, not public updates about my mind. i just didn’t want to rewrite this to account for the context because the point i made was still relevant]:
but now i’m thinking okay… i’m talking to a bunch of homestucks. why am i prostrating myself here? why am i so defensive? they’re probably creaming their pants at the idea of another symmetrically divisible system of classification to get their hands on. homestuck itself is founded upon a bunch of ideas with symmetrical divisions and classifications (divisible products of 2). aspect dichotomies, quadrants, cards, black-white, yin/yang and literally countless other abstract systems. if there is a common word to refer to these sorts of things, please let me know.
but in socionics terms, all of this sort of stuff i’m refering to would be within the domain of extraverted/black intuition (Ne) information, and classifying or positioning someone within those frameworks would be introverted/white logic (Ti). you can read more about these “elements” here. homestuck has familiarized you with notionally irreducible aspects present in everything, dual yin/yang forces permeating everything, so if you understand all of the sorts of abstract classification systems in homestuck you’re basically already 75% the way to fundamentally grasping model A socionics. it is way more structured and stable than the typologies in homestuck though. but you will perceive there to be similarities in the need for archetypal/thematic sense skills.
if you want to learn socionics, for the love of god start here. there are many weak places out there to start out with that will set you up with a faulty and loose understanding, but school of classic socionics is the best foundation to start with. i saw it emerge from the beginning when it was founded, having been part of it since late 2022.
this is an introduction to SCS, what makes it special, and and how differs from other socionics schools. i find SCS to be the most comprehensive, and i’m active within a side discord to discuss theoretical constructs related to model A. i’ve helped find the links between some concepts in model A that weren’t fully substantiated in augusta’s original works, specifically the importance of the asking/declaring reinin dichotomy, how it fits with regard to the rest of model A’s structure, how it underpins the ring of social benefit (which was missing from her writing), and how it can be used as an information element charge just like positivist/negativist can (i.e. all process types have positive asking Ne (+Ne? and all result types have negative declaring Ne (-Ne!). i’m still working on transfering my essay on that to a document.)
i know the intricacies of this system like the back of my hand but yeah i never post much about it because it’s so niche and i dont know who would even want to hear it besides people who i already know would, like in that small specialist group, but they actually been quiet lately even though i’m still active in there sharing things i realized. and i even feel alienated in most casual socionics discussion groups, especially larger ones. i need people who can match my freak about it.
because i have nowhere else to talk about it i’m starting to feel guilty yapping my friends’ ears off about it when i deconstruct everything i come across in light of this system like i’m being annoying about it. but at the same time when im doing that i am constantly reinforcing the merit of the system in successfully finding some dynamic i see in the drama of real life in connection to some idea from the model. i can immediately lock on to the core principles that are at play in any situation, validating the patterns that have been observed by others. by what measure do these people / characters / groups relate to each other, how do we define the specific “feeling” of the energy between them together? i could do a socionical analysis for anything that captures my interest.
it’s also been incredible for self-insight. i can now accurately explain my thought process.
i can change my perspective of the scope of my thinking on different levels. depending on the urgency of a situation developing around me and my respect for other people’s time, i can expand my reasoning from splitting hairs at the smallest pedantic specifics—although i prefer not to, to the most holistic global hard binary 0/1 (no/yes) judgment.
it’s fractal-like; once i know how to classify and compare the features of something to another, everything else with overlapping logical relationships instantly rises up in the same way, which of course is what leads to me having insights that reinforce the potential inherent in the things around me, because my way of thinking is isomorphic. i also experience strong animated mental imagery accompanying my conscious thoughts about these systems, minimalist shapes or lines of the barebones motion happening. i feel like my mental activity and what i actually write down is trying to capture what im seeing in my head.
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i prefer to be brief, but that requires sharing contexts with someone. once i've established similar ways of talking about the same thing with someone so that we’re on the same page, our messages basically become exchanging code words with each other. all of the potential densely packed into these efficient little terms.
the effect is that i am reducing the amount of time and energy i have to spend trying to explain things to someone. i just want to communicate easily and be understood by the people i talk to so that i can enjoy my time with them. this is why i felt like such a long, clarifying, in-depth post was necessary, which would rip the bandaid off and pull it all up at once, instead of on a private, individual-to-individual level. i had to have it engraved somewhere i could just point someone to instead of repeatedly having to explain the same thing over and over cause that’s a waste of time and energy.
in fact, that revelation i had about myself just now can be explained by model A too! my own type is LIl and this type’s id block houses the information elements +Te! → +Ni?, which aushra describes as “The quality of deeds and actions and the efficient expenditure of energy in work—only performing for what is truly necessary—leads to peace of mind in the future.”
or, for example, coming at it from another angle, here is an older post i made before i was even aware of socionics. i was already talking about my experiences, patterns of thinking and self-awareness in a way that was so on the nose for a socionics analysis.
is that not the clearest example of phase 2’s sensitivity (for me it is information about sensorics)? -Fi? → -Se! superego block, anyone? and did you see how much i gave attention to the time i spend working; +Te! -> +Ni? id block? [information element descriptions here]. you could also derive the progression of the information metabolism stages in my own psyche (phase 1: Ethics -> phase 2: Sensorics -> phase 3: Logic -> phase 4: Intuition).
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(from The Characteristic of SLI)
so through socionics it’s like i can find an explanation for just about everything i observe in others and myself just because i’ve extrapolated the logical relationships from that system and can isomorphically apply them to anything.
and i don't say that lightly! i'm not saying anything in this post lightly. like i have a degree in biopsychology from an honors college (ncf; yes, the liberal arts college desantis got his soulless hands on because it was “too woke"). having taken courses in statistics, research methods in psychology, and others, i know all about proper research design (and designing them myself). and of course i ended my four years there with my undergrad thesis, examining temporoparietal synchrony in autistic individuals when working alone and together, where for months on end i was doing nothing but reading and interpreting the validity of research papers. i even deconstructed poorly designed psychological constructs commonly used in autistic research in mine.
i also took personality psychology as a course during my time there. i got a birds eye view of most of the popular paradigms and still felt like i was more knowledgeable in the discourse behind some of the topics we glossed over since the course material was more of a broad comprehensive thing than an in-depth one for anything specific. in totality, all of the models i read about in relation to each other seemed so fragmented into different cuts and perspectives in trying to understand and find the patterns in people’s mental life. and yet none of the models i read about hold as as great of an everyday explanatory power as socionics does for explaining ways of thinking, people's proneness to certain tendencies, and the energetic tension that happens between certain people.
people can say otherwise that it’s pseudoscience. even though there are numerous studies built on real-world observations, the large-scale statistical data like from victor talanov. there's school of system socionics who emphasize its practice. it would be impossible to add all the evidence i can to support my claims to this post but you can see for youself - there are still countless new articles being published from different authors. regardless of that, even if it isn't accepted within the rigors of “scientific canon” i really dont give a fuck since it absolutely does indeed have explanatory and predictive power, and that’s all i care about. i’m confident in this not only through firsthand experience, the ability to frame what i know to be true about the real world within it and have it successfully describe those things, as well as talking to other people about my observations.
additionally, i see people make conclusions about interpersonal dynamics where they unknowingly repeat information that can be derived from socionics concepts.
something i noticed a LOT and ive repeatedly thought about and come to the same conclusion multiple times is that i think i naturally might "embody" the most optimal ways of interacting with other people for myself. it gives me insight into the nature of the personal relationships that i already procure in my life, but it’s not really a self-fulfilling prophecy because i dont use socionics to prescribe who i "should" be friends with. that's silly. thats a silly thing to do because people do have idiosyncracies that don't perfectly align with a system if you rigidly adhere to it, so you're bound to be set up for failure if you try to force that and you will be disappointed. it's better to let these feelings happen naturally without pretense, because that's where the observations that fuel my insight comes from.
i have a subconscious sense for who i will be able to get along with in the long term almost instantly without the need for any kind of system, just based on their actual mannerisms and “vibes”, but that alone is not good enough for me, i want to know why. socionics just gives me tools to figure out why so that i know what im dealing with and its not just ineffable energies, but i can put a name to those energies to think and talk about it and compare and discover patterns in what ive curated in my inner circle over my life, what i feel drawn towards. and indeed i do find plentiful amounts of recurring patterns. the simplification and abstraction is not to destroy the soul and expression of individuals but to wrap my head around them and understand them deeper in relation to everything else, including myself.
i am aware it can be confusing for many people which turns them away. but if theres any questions you have or youre confused about any concepts i can answer them
but yeah um, i’ve really only scratched the surface of this cognitive cybernetic tool. if you are genuinely interested in what i have to say and want me to talk more about it please openly tell me since i’m not a mind reader! i assume disinterest by default.
anyway if you got to this point thanks for reading. i wanted to just put it out there for context about any posts i make in the future. just stating my honest thoughts and whats been occupying my mind for the past two years.
be on the lookout for the john and aradia analysis soon where i’ll use it in practice to deconstruct some things about those characters. and if you’re coming to this post from that analysis after ive posted it, i’m sorry this post is so long in the middle of an already long-ish post. i just thought the context was important.
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captainzigo · 4 months
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so unfortunately very few entries here are going to properly be vintage. also what i consider vintage might not line up with what you do. i am not old.
also i am not wealthy. and my family isn’t wealthy. this is an expensive hobby to have. i get most of my stuff from loving it and refusing to throw it away… and digging through the trash at university. you would be surprised with the stuff people throw away. planned obsolescence has nothing on the fact that people can’t be bothered to fix a sour harddrive.
i actually fix computers as a sort of second job. it’s nice to work on computers i can’t afford and that aren’t from the trash. but i love old tech. i love breathing life in to things long dead. i’m a technonecromancer. i am not including pictures of things i haven’t finished yet for the most part. and i simply am not including most things. this is but a fraction of my power
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ok so these are all my computers that work. i didn’t include ones that im still working on. they all worked but needed repairs variously. mostly they just needed new hard drives.
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my game consoles. again not including ones that don’t work. i actually bought that 3ds, but the rest my parents gave me after they got them used. that gameboy has needed a screen replacement that required soldering. the ds is my little trooper and has needed nothing ever. the wii needed a new disc drive. and the 3ds came in japanese and i hacked it to english.
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there’s a back view of my stickers
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these are some of my various devices. again not including ones that don’t work. that nano needed a new battery which was actual hell and i’m surprised it survived. that ipad is the first ipad and she works beautifully and one time i fastened it to my tummy for a tellytubby costume. i was slutty lala and i played the old spiderman movie trilogy in glorious VHS quality. i couldn’t find my iphone 3gs for this picture :( but it will turn up. i’ll include an old picture instead of cleaning my room to find it lol
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here are some novelties i just like. thats an old radio i swiped from my great grandfather. i got it working but it broke again. i dont know whats wrong with it and its so old that the parts are impossible to find. on the right is the browser for DS which is just so quaint. i love it. it barely works at all but i loaded a wikipedia page one time so xP
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this is my terrible stupid tiny phone i got from aliexpress that barely works BUT IT DOES WORK and is technically loaded with all modern smartphone features. i attached a video of it barely playing roblox
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this is my og imac. with the og keyboard. i didn’t include it with the working computers because it doesn’t. the harddrive died and im trying to fix it but its really hard. i’ve already sought out two different adapters that haven’t worked
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and this is a commodore 64 that i also got out of the trash. it does not work but im hoping to make it work. someone clearly loved it. enough to paint it crazy colors and enough to
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write some weird scifi quote on the inside of the case under the RF shield. but maybe they died, or it just became too much of an undertaking.
not included here is:
• several more apple products that i just don’t think look good. all the iphones between 6 and 11 are just so ugly. and i don’t actually like the way apple watches look
• the phone, tablet, and smart watch i actively use
• various bits and bobs like the official speakers for a imac 4, an electronic pocket dictionary, various wii peripherals and so on
• all of my audio equipment
• my iphone 3gs. i just never found it or any pictures of it. i love it tho. it was my first phone (hand me down. i’m not that old) and i have had to repair it so many times and i love taking bad photos with it
• all of my monitors
• my many videogames
• my old fridge that i love and cherish and use
• anything i have fixed and then given to someone else
• a bunch of other stuff
so if you are a beautiful trans woman, are you in love with me yet? or do i need to make a part two
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the-s1lly-corner · 2 months
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Can we get silly fluff scenarios where the bishops partner or friend (whatever would spark more creativity for you) is a baker and test out new things they make with the bishops if it's successful or not
Bishops x baker!reader
bro i just had a burger and it was so good got me peeling my skin off frfr notes: reader is gn, can be read as romantic or platonic, reader is any creature, bishops are still bishops here cws: none
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LESHY
putting size aside, hes going to eat anything you hang to him in one bite, just shoving the entire thing in his mouth.... though does it count as shoving if hes so large its all just.. naturally one bite?
does not take the time to take in the texture and flavors because of it so you may need to remind him to slow down
thanks to him having an advanced sense of smell he can pick up on a lot of the flavors more than others... beelines for you the second he gets a whiff of any of your ingredients
though not much of a sweets person himself, hes willing to try anything you bake! though be warned he may suggest you make foul combination to give to a poor unsuspecting follower
HEKET
i like to think that despite being the god of famine, shes bit of a foody.. kind of misses eating from before she ascended to godhood, you bring back those memories
sometimes brings you stuff she believes may help your hobby as well as introducing new flavors- whether its something she finds in anura or gets through trading with others
does not take her time with eating your baking though, much like her younger brother... though shes no where near as intense about it as leshy
focuses a lot on texture and let you know what works together and what doesnt
will get very possessive over any baked treat you make for her, assuming theres anyone who wants to attempt stealing from her
KALLAMAR
loves that hes your taste tester, youve come to him first for advice and opinions- it makes him feel important, even more so if baking is your job rather than a hobby
gets you the highest quality ingredients as well as stuff from all over- similar to heket, though hes more likely to get you things he deems "fancy", something pricey and rich in flavor
lets you know his honest opinion, at least most of the time.. you can tell when he thinks something doesnt exactly work... he just doesnt want to hurt your feelings is all- even if sometimes he just lets his words spill anyway
makes requests and will sometimes ask you to cater for cult wide events if he really feels like winning over his followers (to keep them in line, usually.. if the threat of illness doesnt work all that well)
SHAMURA
doesnt eat, like the other gods, and they dont miss eating all that much- that being said they do partake in your baking because its something youre interested in
headcanon that they keep a lot of books on hand, kind of just getting a little bit of everything- if they have a book with older recipes and any historical stuff theyre going to be sending it your way!
very honest but unlike kallamar they have the mind and skill to say something gentler if something isnt... the best.. will keep encouraging you to try again until you find something that works
very polite when eating what you make for them, they take their time... even if it means taking incredibly small bites to actually process and taste things
will always finish what you make regardless of if they like it or not
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scribbledpage · 1 year
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"Fictional...?"
you're part of a fictional series the tmnt2k12 turtles watch
(THIS IS INSPIRED BY THAT ONE LMK POST WITH THE SAME CONECPT AS THIS!! CREDITS TO THE ORIGINAL CREATOR!!)
><><><><
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[Leo]
this boy here is a space heroes fan (a super fan), and he's very open about it, so it would be no surprise that he'd be open to being a fan of your show.
he would binge watch the episodes that have you in it, or a you-centric episode constantly or whenever he's feeling down or demotivated.
no matter if it's an action series or a slice-of life series, you inspire him to become a better leader and example to his brothers.
you know that random feeling of motivation when you watch a study vlog or anything inspiring? he'd get that random burst of motivation to train while watching some episodes (in secret, of course).
his brothers, mainly raph, tease him for liking your show and talk about how childish it is(when in reality, they think its a decent series to watch).
no doubt this boy secretly makes 'x reader' fanfiction.
even if you're a side character or comdic relief, he still enjoys the scenes you're in and hyper analyze your traits and makes headcannons.
he'd sometimes use the episodes where there'd be mental health awareness as a guide to look out for signs in his brothers and friends so he can make sure they're okay ♡
he'll rant about your charcater the moment he hears anything related to you(or his headcannons), for example: your favorite colour, a word/phrase you use often, the style of clothing you wear etc.
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[Donnie]
he is obsessed with your character.
considering with how obsessed he got with april (within seasons 1-3, i think), he'd have a chart or a notebook dedicated to you.
like, he'd have one whole notebook or chart listing the things you like, dislike, in between, headcannons, things the fandom agrees with, your style, etc.
he can't go about his day without thinking what you would do with him if you were real.
he loves your sass, jokes, and character development in the series (even if most watchers dont see the development at all).
this guy will drop everything at a second he sees merch of your character or a new season release.
he definitely thinks you're underrated in your own show and relates to some of the episodes a bit.
he definitely stayed up late to binge watch episodes instead of working on projects that can help them defeat the kraang.
if you can speak languages other than english, he'd go out of his way to learn said language because of you.
if you dont speak other languages, then he would try out (and love) your hobbies that he found boring at first.
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[Raph]
casey had introduced your show to him and he'd rather die than admit that he liked it.
he'd secretly quote some of your underrated lines, and no one would notice (to his relief).
like leo, he'd get random bursts of motivation watching the episodes you're in.
he actually watches the whole series instead of skipping to the part you're in.
he enjoys the plot and your character, and he'd get giddy whenever he sees your character merch or your show's poster if he's patrolling.
he develops some of your habits yet no one pointed it out, until casey.
casey knew raph liked the show, and he'd never stopped teasing raph about it, occasionally ending up with bruises.
thankfully, casey keeps quiet about it.
he doesn't do things all out like donnie but enjoys your character.
his anger issues actually decrease when watching your show
he reacts very heavily to some of the plots like some arguments you had in the show, a betrayal by your trusted ones, you falling in love
like he'll want to scream at each of them(in a good and bad way)
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[Mikey]
this man is obsessed.
any reference from your show, he's ranting to the first person he sees (leo is often a victim of this).
he doodles ur character on whatever space he can find. walls, tables, donnie's papers, receipts from april. that's right, he's doodling u
he daydreams. literally.
he'll create little fantasies (no nsfw stuff tho, that's gross) like what it'll be like when ur here in the real world or when u try his homemade pizza for the first time.
like raph, he is bound to squeal or grin whenever there are funny scenes
i feel like he's the type to go crazy whenever a single thought of u or ur show comes to his mind. he's on another level of hyper fixated
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bensonluvr69 · 8 months
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TW: S/A
so I've been watching hazbin hotel on websites other than prime.
my toxic "friend" watched the scene where sir pentious gets dragged away and s/a'd.
i ask her what she thinks about the episode so far and she says something along the lines of "hahaha i feel bad for sir pentious, he fucked up when he said he'd have sex with everyone!" and i just sit there wanting to tell her off but she doesn't know how much viv is a horrible person and i dont want to cause any conflict right now because im already in a horrible mental state.
but... what i wanted to say was even if he said that, he immediately was being dragged away, CRAWLING ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING. even if he was actually willing to, 1. he was intoxicated. 2. consent can be revoked at any time and his body language SHOWED that he didnt actually want to do it.
this is the same friend that shipped radiodust until i told her alastor was aroace, said "i can fix that" when i told her angel dust was gay and didnt like women (she meant she'd turn into a boy apparently but that was still really weird), constantly misgenders me and blames it on her "stupid brain", and is more upset at the fact that she can't buy cheap shit at hobby lobby anymore than knowing that they DONATE TO CHURCHES THAT SUPPORT CONVERSION THERAPY. that's not even all.
before you say anything, the only reason i haven't dropped her is because i actually wanted to give her a second chance. and i dont know how to drop her because i want to prove a point to her that she can't just blame her actions on her brain or her adhd. i have adhd and i at least know critical thinking skills.
but yeah on the topic of hazbin, im only watching it to please my younger self but i also love some the character designs and very few of the characters. i like looking at other peoples analysis and criticisms of this show on here. this mostly turned into a rant about someone but i wanted to rant about hazbin as well. i hate how sa is taken seriously in one episode and then played for laughs in the next.
also if i say something wrong or got something wrong please tell me gently
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cowboyjen68 · 8 months
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hi jen! i've know im a lesbian since I was 12, but because of my problems with socializing i've never actually had ANY romantic interactions(my lesbianism making things even harder, as you can imagine)
i'm almost out of high school and going to college, so i'm feeling very down about missing out on teen romance but dont want the same thing to happen again. do you have any tips on what i can do to avoid this problem in the future? i am genuinely clueless on what to do when looking for a partner, really
even if you dont actually have any advice to give i still really love your blog, it reminds me that lesbians can actually grow old and live happy lives💖💖thank you for hearing me out and i apologize for any grammar mistake!!
This is pretty easy because, while it was pretty outgoing and friendly, it was often not as my full self. I kept my horse girl, lesbian, butch and weird music and hobby side of myself under wraps from most of my friends. I had no word for lesbian or butch but my high school best friend knew I probably liked girls, we just never discussed it and it didn't bother her. It might have been harder on our friendship had I tried to come out in the 80's, not because it bothered her but the insinuations of all the others about our relationship would have been A LOT for a high schooler.
I waited until after college graduation and I used to sometimes look back and wonder how many times I missed out kissing a girl in high school or other women in college. How had twinges of regret for not having sex or even attempting intimacy with women.( I mostly avoided boys too because ew)
As I was sitting in a miserable passionless marriage to my wife of 17years, I pined for that passion and tingle that i had with my first girlfriend from ages 23 to 30. How many times did I miss that feeling with girls in my high school or college or at summer jobs because I was unsure of myself and not confident that any woman would find me attractive. I was even unsure if loving a woman was something I could do. Was it a real thing?
Looking back now I realize I just was not ready and most of my young friends in high school were not ready for me to be out and opening attracted to the same sex. I had fun in high school, made friends and had a small group of girls I was very close to. I enjoyed those friendships perhaps because I did not come out and cause those bonds to be strained.
In college I was concerned how my parents would react and I was in no way independent from their financial and emotional support. My friends were all around me experimenting with their sexuality and I was watching from outside, really wanting what they had but not willing to give up my security and college education to be open about being a lesbian. I knew I could just "do it and hide it" but I was not built for the stealthy life. I know if i was loving loving women it would be hard to be quiet.
Here is the point I am getting at with the sharing of all these experiences. If you were not ready to act on dating and attempting to date it is probably good that you listened to yourself. We are not on a time line and many young people feel pressured to date when their confidence, sexual maturity and social skills are not ready yet which can lead them to be vulnerable to abusive, controlling or unhealthy relationships. It is hard to listen to your own intuition and set and keep boundaries when you are trying to date just to not be the only one not dating.
What you more likely missed out on was not the thrill of dating but the hassle of pretending you want to date when it didn't feel right, at all.
You are heading to college. You are now becoming interested in the excitement of dating on your own and not because others think you need to date. You are craving the touch, the tingly feeling and the companionship of women. These are all good signs you are ready to date.
My advice:
1.Be honest with yourself and then her (your date) every time. Do not go on date number two if it does not feel right. If you are unsure go on another date but continue to listen to yourself.
2.You deserve passion and mutual excitement to be in the company of a woman. If one of you do not feel it, move on.
3.Do not stick to a relationship because it is "ok" or she is "nice" . You have the right to sexual, emotional and intellectual stimulation. Look for it and don't settle.
4.There will be other women so don't cling to the first one or the one willing to stick around just because she is there. If you don't feel all the afore mentioned excitement, be honest with yourself and her and move on.
5. Dating a woman with whom you share many wonderful moments and lots of joy does not mean you will be together forever or have that expectation. Short term love is a thing and neither of you are failures when that fades out.
6. Ask her. If you see a woman that interests you be clear that you would like to take her on a date and you have romantic interests. Don't be vague or try to use hints. This leads to miscommunications and false expectation every time.
7. Finally, use all the dating and flirting and breakups and heartbreaks and joy and fun and memories to form who and what you are looking for as a partner. All that experience is giving you a better idea on what makes you truly happy.
You missed out on nothing. The adventure is just beginning and it can start with a simple "Hi, I think you are cute. Would you be willing to go on a date with me?" She might say "no", but she MIGHT say "yes".
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meanbossart · 8 months
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Some art-advice asks I've been meaning to reply to!
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I use Clip Studio Paint Pro, though I'm not sure what tips I could give just in general. Just experiment with new things often, draw as much as your lifestyle allows, watch how other people do their work but try to avoid "Dont do THIS thing ever" type lessons and tutorials. Use as much reference as you'd like and take your time! To this day a simple sketch can still take me several hours to do depending on what it is.
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Thank you so much!!! I didn't do any kind of formal art schooling but I've always been inclined towards arts and crafts, and started taking drawing semi seriously when I was about 17 (I'm 27 now). I draw a lot of inspiration from western comics and my favorite artists are jason shawn alexander and sean murphy.
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Oh I'm so flattered to hear my stuff's inspired you to take up drawing again, I have a bunch of little crafty hobbies but art is by far the most fulfilling one to me - largely because you're constantly learning and improving.
You're definitely onto something already, I am constantly looking at other people's art (even If it isn't a style I would want to emulate) and analyzing how the pieces come together to create the final product. In my opinion this is pretty much the best way you can go about learning besides real-life reference drawing. You can even take something into your software of choice/print it out and trace it (just to yourself, of course) to get a sense of hand-motion and line use.
As a beginner I think there's no shame at all in taking heavy inspiration from your favorite artists, as long as you aren't straight up copying things and calling them your own. Your personal style Is likely to come out naturally, with time. That's very much how I started myself!
Also, just be patient with yourself, try to have realistic goals for your skill level while simultaneously being proud of everything you do. Even if you absolutely despise a drawing, you still drew something! And even if it doesn't feel that way you most definitely learned from it. Use learning tools and tutorials to whatever point you feel comfortable with but don't get stuck on people's arbitrary rules - unless we're talking about something tangible like real-life application of traditional art tools, things like anatomy, perspective and light are to be referenced from - but It's not the goal to emulate them 100% unless you ARE going for hyperrealism. As someone who uses a ton of reference these days, I can tell you first-hand that I often find myself straying from it on purpose to make a piece look more interesting.
Lastly, draw things you enjoy! Don't let anyone else dictate what you SHOULD be doing and don't fall into the trappings of wanting to stick to one specific style, process, or subject matter.
Good luck!!!
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LOL thank you so much for your very evocative compliments! I haven't ever done a timelapse, not that I remember at least. I'm not sure how they work but I do so much of "I'm gonna try this thing 5 different ways and then decide what I like" that I'm not sure how comprehensive that would be LOL
I could put together a process showcase or something though, I feel like that might be better even, since I get to explain a little of what I'm doing through text and display how I use reference. Something to consider!
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inchidentally · 4 months
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there’s a weird inversion that’s happened
LISTEN I’m genuinely having fun w landoscar and happen to also enjoy the real life dynamic they have and bottom line happy w whatever they actually are to each other since we literally don’t know how much any of these drivers actually like each other vs what’s just for fan enjoyment
where ppl have taken the fact that Oscar and Lando don’t play a joint hobby sport outside the track but all their friendliness we see is spontaneous and fond and Oscar is terrible at media and can’t fake anything and McLaren people saying how similar and in sync they are and Lando being more himself in media with Oscar than just his Fun Time Goofy Lando self and Lando’s best friend being Oscar’s friend before Oscar was even in F1 and them being so bad at PR fakery that even Netflix can’t drum up a drama around them and their ship name is barely even known outside fandom let alone being useful as PR - as them being “just PR/work friends”
and that even though he’s said none of the drivers that a journalist kept calling bromance count as his real private life close friends, the fact that Lando and several other drivers publicly post PR content of them doing activities together or riding the same jet and both of Lando’s other teammates publicly pushing their ship names and them being PR currency used across official accounts and sponsors and Netflix literally marketing the Netflix Cup around one of them - means those are “non PR real friendships outside of work”
and the one driver Lando actually consistently spends time with fully outside of the F1 season and shares friends with who aren’t in F1 but they almost never post content with each other for PR and are simply spotted together a lot - isn’t even counted among those Lando ships (Max V) bc fandom at large hasn’t decided they’re friends because… they don’t post enough about it on their main accs…
like Lando is absolutely friends with half the grid and easy to get along with! he’s not lying about those guys even if they’re very handy PR as well!
but very weird to literally interpret actual PR content as proof of genuine friendship and in same breath view landoscar - who flop so hard at being PR that even McLaren stopped using them for content the way they did w Carlos and Daniel - as clearly just being work friends all bc Lando complained that Oscar won’t play golf or padel with him and Oscar famously doesn’t post much about his life outside of work… like idk that’s kind of opposites day stuff ???
again it’s not so much about who Lando is more “really” friends with it’s taking the one teammate Lando’s had who famously fails at PR and won’t even fake smile unless there’s incentive but who cackles at everything Lando says and is friends with Lando’s literal best friend and say he’s got nothing to do w Lando that isn’t PR?? bc they don’t knock a ball around and when they do hang out outside of work we only find out through fans spotting them or one of them mentioning it after the fact like that’s literally spending time together - like that is actually not PR I’m ???
DONT GET ME WRONG I love landoscar staying firmly under the radar and not becoming the new larries and attracting heinous fans who hate real life girlfriends like the other Lando ships - but also very weird to see reality flipped and then being accused of faking a friendship for cameras when they… are the worst at PR of all Lando/driver pairings and them being cute and fun together is genuine…
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sciderman · 5 months
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When i transitioned i had to give up my versatile singing voice and all my skirts and heels. I miss them all equally even though i dont regret a single thing about transitioning. I haven't worn a dress in five years but that doesn't mean i don't want to. My four-inch-heeled blue sequined boots still fit me and sometimes i wear them around the house even if i'm too shy to be gnc in public.
These feelings stopped me from transitioning for a long time and they didn't change when i finally did. I hope that resonates with you
bless you anon! i'm really glad that it's something you don't regret, and i'm glad you're living closer to the you that you want to be - but i also hope you can conquer any fears you have and present to the world the way you want to be seen. i think life's too short to make compromises!
me, i don't think i could go all the way - i think there's a lot about myself i just - i don't want to change. (i'll be honest, the biggest thing i'm scared about with T is what goes on between your legs. i'm terrified of that. i know it's different for everyone, but that makes it even scarier. i'm so familiar with what's down there. i don't want to wake up one morning and it's different. the horrors of one puberty was enough for me. i'm still recovering from my first puberty. i don't want to go through it again. not again. oh dear god.)
i think that's another part of why i thought "oh, i must not be a boy. because i don't want to transition. i have top dysphoria, and Dear God I'd love Top Surgery, but i like what i have between my legs. i like my voice. i like being soft. i like my girlish hobbies. if i like being feminine so much, how does it make sense to claim i'm a boy?" and i think that's a silly line of thinking i had. and i only realised how silly that sounded when other people said it to me. someone said they were worried about identifying as non-binary because they're very pink and very femme. i said - the whole point of non-binary is that it's something you define. pink and femme have nothing to do with it. it's a label you don't have to qualify for! you don't have to qualify to be trans. i know a lot of people trick you into thinking that but - it's just not true. whatever shape you are, whatever preferences you have, whatever you're comfortable wearing, whatever you're comfortable proclaiming - it's on your terms. nobody can tell you what you're meant to feel or how you want to be seen. that's you. you have to define yourself, i guess. nobody else should be able to do that on your behalf!
so i'm a boy, i guess. right now. i'm allowed to be. i declare it so! i'm allowed to be a boy. even in my pink sneakers and my little love-heart chains and all my girlish ways.
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mchib · 4 months
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I need some Rize and Shuu friendship headcanons!
thank u anon!
i want to say ive never written a fanfic or anything of the sort so im not experienced in that field of writing but i do like do do character analasys and like headcanoning things so feel free to share any opposing views!!
first and foremost i feel like they have a common character flaw that they expect nothing less of an extravagant lifestyle even though both of them attempt to uphold and fulfil this different ways i feel like they would find great company in like luxurious or over the top things and they could perhaps be one of the only people that dont harbor distaste or skeptical feelings towards each other upon learning of the others hobbies. they also have certain tastes and are both picky eaters in their own ways so i imagine a lot of discussions would be had about what characteristics make someone more tasty. that being said i think shuu would continuingly tell rize that shes way too messy and she should invest in self control or at least be more private about her eating habits lolol.
i also feel like they would find solace in each others company talking about like art and philosophy although i imagine shuu already had more than enough people to rant to i think that rize would definitely genuinely listen and engage. if they fought or had a disagreement i imagine one of them being stuck head first in a concrete wall and then shuu would refuse to to her for like a day and call her a barbaric hoodlum behind her back but no real feelings or resentment would comply. i feel like a normal person having a conversation with any of the two would somehow contain an interference of something along the lines of 'woah woah woah you cant say that man thats too far' because they both make pretty morbid jokes but if it were just the two i feel like they would feel as though they could freely speak their mind without anyone wondering how they were raised or what set of events led to such absurd jokes being recited in such grim circumstances.
i feel like shuu would feel sort of be offended meeting rize upon hearing that her insides were used to turn kaneki half ghoul as even when kaneki loses all sanity his and rize's personalities are not compatible in the slightest, and so before learning to get over it he would feel kind of awkward around her because he wants to be mad at her but he knows it wasnt her fault at the same time so hes trying to be civil about it. meanwhile she would think of him as an antisocial snob and try to brag to him about how she made something of herself without being spoon-fed and is able to manage her giant appetite while on the run from the ccg and ghouls alike.
when shuu is like in his terminally ill granny state i feel like she would stay by his side but also be discouraging saying stuff like 'men should suffer in silence' and 'a public execution would be more appealing'. i feel like when they go out together shuu would try really hard to convince her to clean up so they can look fresh as hell and go fancy places but rize always ends up consuming some random homeless guy on the street. rize gives off 'i want to be with the bourgeoiseses' vibes but when they come around she just doesnt want to put in the effort. 'just kick reason to the curb and come with me!' (can you tell i do lyric analasys).
i feel like rize would like use shuu's rich people resources to make stuff like lets pose a hypothetical that ghouls could eat cookies. rize would use shuu's kitchen and ingredients to make the most foul tasting cookies and then put a sticky note on them telling shuu not to touch. then he flips out. rize is also very not used to not having to do dishes or anything in his household so she feels weird about being emptyhanded while others make the food. she'll be trying to hide her pleasure with being treated with such luxury but you can definitely see her grinning at the dinner table. we know she has table etiquette from her and kaneki's date but whats to stop her from completely disregarding all manners when shes in the presence of ghouls? i feel like she'd be kinda gross the first few times over cuz men aint shit but she kind of grows into being at least presentable at dinner.
when they r in the car shuu wants to be passanger princess but he doesnt trust rize behind the wheel. hes not the hero we deserve, but hes all we have right now. irrelevant but if rize was driving she'd like crash on the highway for fun or something. she has a fake license that says something like risse kaminishi from district 12
ok thats all i can think of rn & sorry if i mischaracterized shuu im not nearly as much of an expert on his character but i do enjoy him a lot
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