#if i need to be able to read things quickly in the future that's when i will write in print
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haltderpyy · 2 days ago
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Uhhh Brave Trio backstory headcannons go
Not well put together at all btw, plus I might make some more broad ones in the future. These ones are mainly related to their backstory with the witch
GINGERBRAVE:
-woke up in the oven while the rest of his batch was being overbaked (the witch forgot to take them out) there was a lot of fire and burning cookies, the only other still living one in there was Dozer. The only reason those two were alive was because they were in the center of the tray
-The two of them escaped the oven but quickly ran into the witch, who grabbed Dozer and bit half his head off before dropping him again (because he tasted like shi-) and chased after GingerBrave
-GingerBrave ran away and hid after that and is totally not traumatized for life
-Ever so slightly overbaked, a little bit numb to pain as a result
-The whole fiasco gave him a fear of fire
-Feels really guilty for not being able to save Dozer
-Very attached to his Candy Cane as it was the first thing he ever held, and it saved his life when he had to escape
-After grouping up with Wizard and Strawberry, he was the main one that explored around to find supplies, information etc, had to run from the cat and the witch A LOT
-way faster and braver than he should be because he needed to be
STRAWBERRY COOKIE:
-Woke up on a plate alone, was able to wander off when the witch was in another room. Very lucky and knows it
-Watched GingerBrave and Dozer escape and was going to try to meet with them, but then the witch came in. She watched helplessly as the witch ate Dozer and chased GingerBrave
-Found her lollipop pretty soon after that as a precautionary weapon
WIZARD COOKIE:
-Woke up in a pile of other identical cookies, escaped and wandered around a bit before finding the witch’s wand. He was drawn to it and took it
-Heard a commotion going on and went to check it out, witnessed the same thing as Strawberry
-Immediately noped the fuck out of there
-Underbaked, kind of frail as a result (that’s also why he’s so short)
-The first time he held the wand it shocked him pretty badly, gave him a scar over his eye. That’s why he covers it
-taught himself magic by reading the witch’s books
MISC STORY STUFF:
-They all ended up meeting in the cupboards and agreed they had to get out of there
-None of them really had names so they decided to name each other. Wizard was originally called ice cream cookie cuz of the hair, but he wanted to be a wizard soooo. Strawberry was automatically called strawberry because she smelled like strawberries. GingerBrave was originally Ginger Cookie/GingerBread Cookie (interchangeable) for like a week, but changed it to GingerBrave because Wizard made a pun and GingerBrave didn’t know it was a pun and liked it (something something transmasc GingerBrave headcanon)
-they were in the castle trying to survive for a while (about two weeks) before they all got separated and escaped through different ways
Strawberry - door was open, ran out
Wizard - zapped the cat to distract the witch (and also save GingerBrave’s ass) and ran out a different door
GingerBrave - was being chased by the cat and fell out a window. Somehow didn’t break his legs
After that you know the rest
(Hope I didn’t forget anything)
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If you noticed any writing errors no you didn’t
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luvo27 · 5 months ago
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I have very bad cursive handwriting!! To demonstrate, a little behind the scenes for you: Here’s a page from my fic notebook!! For the last and final edits for the last chapters of the thing i was working on, i ended up saving them as drafts in ao3 where i then read them through and took notes on the things i wanted to change before going back in to edit, which is what this page is from.
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plus, sticky note i made for myself regarding cass's characterization:
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bunnis-monsters · 5 months ago
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Hybrid Shelter Prologue
warning: mentions of abuse, injuries, some yandereish behavior, and violence
You’ve been working at the hybrid shelter for a few weeks now. It wasn’t an easy job, tending to injured, abused, and scared hybrids, but you did your best.
This was just a part time job until you were able to find something better. Of course you cared about the hybrids, but the money you made wasn’t enough.
You had two other part time jobs that took your time away, and although you loved working at the hybrid shelter, it was only a temporary thing.
Most days were full of games, movies marathons, the occasional check up, and lots of bonding. After all, the goal was to help these hybrids figure out what they wanted. If they wanted to be independent, be a pet, or return/live in the wild.
Today was a bad day, though.
You woke up at 3 am to a call, asking you to come into the shelter early.
“It’s an emergency,” your boss said, taking a moment to breathe before continuing. “A new hybrid came in… you’ll understand when you get here.”
And your boss was right, you understood the second you walked in.
In the corner of the lounge was a cat hybrid. He was backed against the wall, hissing and spitting as his tail puffed up.
“Stay away from me, don’t you dare get any closer!”
All the other workers were covered in scratches, glancing at one another in concern.
“His file,” your boss said from behind you, handing you a folder. “A tale as old as time. Human buys a cat hybrid from a backyard breeder, doesn’t know how to take care of him. The owner abused the poor thing then dropped him off at our door… he was scared and confused, and when we said his owner abandoned him…”
Your nods gestured to the cat hybrid, sighing. “This happened.”
You took a moment to read his file, frowning before you handed the folder back. “Alright, I’ll give it a try. Get a room ready in the infirmary, we’ll need to do a checkup and make sure his vaccinations are up to date.”
The cat hybrid’s ears pinned back as you approached, his tail lashing dangerously. “Don’t take another step closer, I’ll-“
His ears unfolded when you sat down a few feet away from him, giving the scared hybrid a kind smile. “Alright, I’ll stay right here then. Is that alright?”
Though his tail continued to sway erratically, the cat hybrid slowly lowered himself to the ground to match your stance.
“…”
He stayed quiet, eyeing you. All you did was sit there, watching his body language and slowly scooting closer.
“You don’t have to be afraid. I know it can be scary coming to a new place, but there’s other cat hybrids just like you here. They’re all happy, and I take care of them myself.”
He sniffed the air to confirm your words, picking up the scent of other hybrids on you. “… and… you don’t hit them?”
Those words tore at your heart, but you didn’t let it show. You kept a calm smile on your face as you nodded slowly. “No… there’s no hitting here. No punishments either.”
He hesitantly reached out a hand, placing it on your leg before pulling it back. Testing the waters was a good sign. “Will my owner come back?”
“Most likely not… and even if we did, we wouldn’t let them hurt you. Never again.”
With that, he slowly moved forward, leaning until his head rested on your lap, a sign of trust. You gently scratched behind his ears, a soft purr coming from him.
“There you go… that’s a good boy.”
Your boss watched this interaction from a distance, picking up his phone. “Yeah, I think she’s the one. I’ve never seen a hybrid calm down so quickly, she might have the thing we’ve been looking for.”
The rest of the day, the cat hybrid cling to your side, enduring the medical exam only if it meant he got to hold onto your arm.
Already he was scenting you, just like many of the other hybrids did. You were unaware how many had already put their “claim” on you, and how that would affect your future at the shelter.
Leaving wasn’t easy, the cat hybrid, who you named Midnight because of his dark hair, was attached to your hip. He cried and buried his face into your neck when you got ready to leave, only agreeing to let go of you with the promise you’d be back tomorrow.
“Mine… don’t want you to go…” he murmured, just quiet enough for you to not hear.
The next morning you woke up to a text message from your boss. Through your bleary vision you were barely able to make out what it said.
‘Dear (Name), you have been offered a chance to work as a full time employee. You’ll be paid $30 an hour, and you can start tomorrow. Please reply to confirm.’
Although you felt happy, something about the message felt off. Regardless, you needed the money and accepted immediately.
Soon your life would become hectic and full of mystery, but you wouldn’t find that out until later.
Now, you rolled back over and went to back to sleep until your shift began.
——————
Comment to be added to the Hybrid Shelter taglist. There may be some nsfw and yandere elements in the future! For now I’m using the nsfw taglist, but the next post I’ll be tagging those who comment.
NSFW TAGLIST: @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljra @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @enchantedsylveon @mysticranger575 @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @filthybunny420 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @blubearxy @omglovelylaila @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog @slightlyusedfloormat @bubblez-blop @sunshineangel-reads @heroneki-neko @soapybabyboop @anonymouskiwi
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xximperioxx · 2 months ago
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Peace
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Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x fem!reader
Word count: 1.7k
Warnings: spoilers?, depression, anxiety , swearing, pregnancy mention, suicidal tendencies,
Notes: not beta read (thats too scary for me) I literally wrote this at 3 in the morning and I just want to give this man a hug. Obviously inspired by Peace by Taylor Swift.
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You didn’t need to ask where Robby, your attending, was. You already know he slipped to the roof before anyone could see him. Hiding your “secret” relationship has never been harder than today. There was nothing more you wanted than to be able to hold and support him as you saw him cry and breakdown. People who were close to you knew of your relationship but neither of you acted upon it in public. More specifically at work.
You find him looking down at the city below him.
“If you jump, I’ll find a way to save you and then kill you myself.”
He turns his head to see you. He sighs, “Don’t.”
You sit yourself into the railing and swing your legs over, your arms balancing you as you look out at the lights of the city.
“I came here to be alone.” He mumbled.
You glance at him, “Well, I came here to be with you.” He sighs.
The two of you sit in silence for a while. Robby finds himself taking a step closer to the edge, looking down. He could never jump off but the thought is always there. It’s lingering as if taunting him that he could finally catch a break. He continues to blink away tears.
You finally speak up, “I am so proud of you.”
Robby scoffs and looks away. You slide off the railing, now leaning against it.
“I’m serious, Michael.” He looks at you when he hears his first name. “You are the strongest person I know.”
Your heart breaks when you hear him sniffle. You had been by his side for the majority of his breakdowns but this was the one the worst you’ve seen. Normally you had been in either your or his apartment when he needed you to calm you down. Since Adamson’s death the breakdowns had been frequent.
He stifles out a sob, “I-I broke and-and I shut down.”
You reach for him, guiding him to lean against the railing with you, “Michael. You’re allowed to be vulnerable at work. It’s not you being weak.”
“People n-needed me and I let them down.” He quickly wipes his tears away.
“If you ask anyone down there, they would all tell you the same thing. You are the glue that keeps us together as a team. You reach out and intertwine your hands.
“You’re our rock,” you pause, “And rocks will break down and wear away because of what comes their way but regardless, they are always strong.”
Robby lets his body droop and his head falls into your chest while shaking, trying to stop his tears. He leans his ear against your chest to focus on your heartbeat. You don’t realize you’re crying until you notice the specks of tears splattered on your glasses which are foggy from condensation.
You lean your head against his. You hold him in silence. The both of you occasionally sniffled, finally beginning to calm down.
“I will continue to love you even if you’re a pebble.”
“Stop comparing me to a rock.” His voice muffled from your chest.
You let out a small laugh. He slowly pulls away from you. The two of you stare at each other, taking in tired and bloodshot eyes. You softly wipe his tears away. Your hands linger on his face, gently holding it. He reaches up and puts his hand on yours.
Robby’s voice cracks, “W-What if I can never give you peace? The peace that comes with life you want with me,” he pauses. Pressing his lips together hoping to prevent himself from crying again, “I-I don’t know if I could ever give that to you.”
You shake your head trying to ignore what he was saying. You had discussed it–both of your hopes and dreams. A family, a house, a wedding. A future together.
You wanted to laugh and tell him it was too late for that. To kiss him and tell him the news but you knew the time wasn’t right. Your future already future growing inside of you.
“I will be by your side no matter what. Even if you decide you don’t want to do this,” you gesture to the hospital, “anymore. I’m not going anywhere.”
He blinks away more tears. “I love you.” He brings your hand to his lips and places a light kiss on it.
You reach up and give him a soft kiss. The kiss was salty but neither of you minded. “In every lifetime. It’s you and me. Forever.”
Neither of you hear Abbot approach you until he clears his throat. “You guys could have waited until you were off the clock.”
You pull away from your boyfriend with a roll of your eyes.
“You always gotta complain about something, Jack.” You joke.
Robby lets out a sad laugh before he turns away looking back at the city. Abbot gives you a look, silently asking if he can help. You give him a nod.
You give Robby’s hand a squeeze. “I’ll meet you downstairs, ok?” He nods.
Ducking under the railing, you walk up to Abbot and place your hand on his shoulder, “Let me know if you guys need me.” He nods.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You find yourself walking ahead of the two attendings, letting them talk amongst themselves. You knew that if anyone knew what Robby was going through it would be Abbot.
The voices and laughs of your coworkers catch your attention as you walk into the park. You see Donnie and Princess with a large cooler sitting at the benches. “Well well well, look what we have here,”
The two of them raised their beers in greeting you. You sit down on the bench with a tired sigh, waiting for Abbot and Robby.
Donnie holds up a beer, offering you one. “You want one?” You shake your head no in response.
Your boyfriend drops his backpack on the ground as Abbot takes a seat with a groan.
Donnie grabs two beers, tossing one to Robby and Abbot. Robby catches his with ease, cracking it open before squeezing down next in your bench space.
Abbot fails to catch his beer. He bends down to pick it up. “Nice catch,” Robby jokes at the same time you say, “That was sad,” with a laugh. Abbot reaches over and gives a whack to the back of your head.
“To the Pitt crew,” Donnie raises his drink.
“To the people we saved,” Princess added.
“And the ones we couldn’t.” Abbot concludes. You feel Robby put his hand on your thigh. You hide your surprise. You give him a smile and a gentle squeeze.
“Here, here.” The group of you toast.
Robby takes a few sips of his now almost empty beer. He gestures to you, offering a drink. You shake your head. He looks at you with concern and you give him a reassuring look, mumbling something about not feeling too well and it’s probably just a headache.
Mateo, Mohan, and Javadi greet the group with smiles and Donnie hands out more beers. You rest your eyes as the group makes small talk.
Robby’s sudden laugh jolts you. You give him a nudge and he looks at you with a sorry grin. He rubs a hand over his face still laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Mohan questions as her and Javadi look at each other concerned.
Robby sits up, “I just realized it’s your first shift.”
The intern nods.
“I’m so sorry it was a shit first day.” You feel bad for the girl. Javadi gives you a meek smile.
“I’m not,” Abbot interjects, “That was baptism by fire, baby.” He lifts his drink up.
“I can pretty much guarantee you the next one will be easier.” Robby tries to be reassuring.
You nod in agreement before speaking up, “I promise you it’s not always as bad as today was.”
“I really fucking hope so.” She jokes but you can tell she means it.
Before anyone could say anything, sirens echoed through the park. Your anxiety spikes and the group all turns to see what’s happening. Robby tenses up at the sounds and stands up. He knew he couldn’t stay longer. He looks down at you. “Well, I’m going to call it a night. Please, everyone get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day.”
You stand up with him, “I'm gonna head out too,” you give everyone a smile, “Have a good night everyone.”
A bunch of good nights and smiles were given in return.
“I’ll walk you home,” Robby says in front of the group to you. You nod knowing you’re probably just going to his place. He grabs one more beer for the walk.
The two of you began walking to his place. Robby reaches for your hand as you walk into the night. The two of you enjoy the silence, listening to the sounds of the city.
As the two of you reach the end of the park, Robby speaks up, “You sure you’re feeling ok?”
You look up at him with a raised eyebrow, “You’re asking me that?” He rolls his eyes at you.
“Normally you have a beer or two at the end of the night.”
Your feet come to a stop and Robby looks at you. He has a concerned look and you debate on just letting it out.
“Is it a bad time to say I’m pregnant?” You blurt out with a nervous laugh looking up at him.
His eyes widen. You begin to panic, blabbing out apologies.
He cuts you off, “Are you serious? Like you’re not joking right now?”
You shake your head and continue to babble, “I’ve known for a few weeks now. I’m about 11 weeks I think. I-I just didn’t know when to tell you.”
For the second time that night, Robby drops his backpack. With the biggest grin, he lifts you off your feet causing you to squeal in surprise.
He lets you back down before cupping your face and giving you a heated kiss. You hold onto him as you kiss back him immediately.
You smile into the kiss before pulling away, sudden tears filling your eyes. “I love you so much.”
He kisses your tears away, before looking down at your stomach. He gently places his hand on it and smiles. “I love you too.”
You lean up and give him another kiss, “I don’t need peace, I just need you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“They’re totally together, right?” Princess asks the group but it’s pointed at Abbot.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Abbot says with a smirk before taking a sip of his beer.
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hwnglx · 6 months ago
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pick a pile - what does your fs love about you?
hi dear reader! let's see what your future romantic partner loves about you. pls remember that this is a general reading so not everything will apply to everyone! breathe slowly, take your time and use your intuition to go with the pile that speaks to you the most. take what resonates, and leave what doesn't. 𓆩♡𓆪
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➳❥ pile 1
your fs loves the way you balance these two sides within you; the fun-loving and joyful side, and responsible and reliable side. i feel strong sagittarius or aquarius energy in terms of your ability to detach from others and just live in your own world, according to your own terms, but also carrying a sense of responsibility within you, especially concerning your work or finances. it's very much giving “yes i work my ass off, not for anyone else, but for my own satisfaction” there might be some earth influence giving you this sense of groundedness when it comes to the things you deem as important for your own life. you just know what you want for yourself.
your fs will definitely love the way you can switch into focus and work-mode when you need to. they themselves might be a bit of a work-horse, someone who can often bury themselves in work. they feel like you're such an interesting person though, and might wonder how you manage to be so multi-facetted, because i do believe you're good at keeping your work-life balance in check, probably better than them.
i feel like they might have a more conservative approach or more traditional belief-system in place, that you have the potential to make them question. you seem to be someone with more of a progressive mindset in life, and your fs is likely to feel quite intrigued by that.
one major thing that keeps coming through for me, is how they love the thought of being the one who can break down your potential walls. although you can have your outgoing moments, some people might think they're closer to you than they actually are. you give off such an independent vibe, you're just not someone who's overly concerned over being romantically involved or surrounded by people all the time, and might moreso enjoy having your own freedom.
i feel like this person is someone who's gonna be very consistent in their efforts to get to you, because they're aware of what a special and unique person you are. they just feel like they wouldn't be able to find anyone like you again, so they're absolutely willing to chase you if it means receiving your approval and your love as a reward in the end.
you just give me this vibe of someone who enjoys letting someone chase you for a little; you just need to feel someone's sincerity and genuine interest, and might feel like patience and consistency is a way for them to prove it.
your fs might've thought about marrying you very early on, they might've fantasised about it quite quickly after meeting you. you either might be oblivious to this, as they're giving strong “friends” vibes here, or you're yet to meet them; i do believe it's likely for you to meet them through your friends or acquaintances though, maybe even during a party. i think you might not see this connection as romantic at all for a good while, while again, this person could already be thinking about you as marriage material. some of you might even meet this person either online, or overseas. they might be a foreigner. there's a clear difference in views, culture, belief systems.
a cute aspect; some of you might communicate in a unique manner first. even if you do not speak each other's languages, somehow there'll still be this natural and effortless understanding between the both of you. your differences are more likely to attract each other, rather than repulse you.
your fs will love how you aren't afraid to stand up for what you believe in, and how you're the type to defend your stance till the very end. you might even be quite stubborn in some areas you feel strongly about; however, i can feel your fs genuinely liking that about you. you're just not someone who'll be all available and open to everyone out there, and you have your very own strong values and principles in life that you've built over time, and would not back down from for anyone. your fs might've seen you in that defensive and argumentative mode a few times, maybe even experienced it first hand, but it made their attraction for you so much stronger. almost all cliché-like, confirming for them that “this is the person i want to be with.” there's this strong sense of them fantasizing, and feeling like it'd be an actual accomplishment to be with you in the end.
i do feel like you're likely to have the upper hand in this relationship. i don't think your fs is someone overly submissive character-wise, but it's almost like you bring that side out of them naturally. they're willing to cater to you, sincerely wanting to listen to your opinions on things and moreso follow your word, just because they're so infatuated.
it's also likely for them to for example, go on trips with you, although they usually aren't someone who likes travelling; but you manage to bring out a different side in them and expose them to things they're not too familiar with, and vice versa!
i feel like some of your fs' might be younger than you, or just in general more of an emotionally immature type (they might have strong aries or pisces placements, there's some delusional and childlike energy here) and your maturity has potential to draw them to you in a major way.
they just admire how, even though you can definitely have your moments of “oh you will not let me shut up about this!” in the end you don't let things actually get to you that much, and have built thick and immune skin after going through your fair share of challenges and obstacles in life.
i do believe that this relationship has the potential to bring out your more dreamy and youthful side out as well; this might be a factor in which you two balance each other beautifully. like they allow you to look at things in a more idealized manner, help you not to always take things too seriously, whereas you might bring them down to the ground a little more when needed and give them a reality check.
oh let me tell you pile 1, your fs will be so genuinely in love with you, and i can see their infatuation lasting for a good while. they'll feel butterflies at every sight of you, and feel like the world is beautiful again because they get to be with you.
potential messages from your fs for you
“i'm sorry i put my career before you. i'm willing to put in the time & effort now because i don't want to lose you.”
“i'm used to getting my way, but you put me in my place.”
“it was easier to lie than to tell you the truth. i wish i could take it all back.”
➳❥ pile 2
this pile gives me the strongest introvert vibes. i feel like you're also the pile, who's the hardest on yourself. the immediate message i got, which is incredibly sweet, is that your fs will love everything that you don't like about yourself. i heard one direction's “you don't know you're beautiful, and that's what makes you beautiful” in my head. you guys seem to be people who can prefer to just stay in your own little bubble, and live in your mind moreso than the outside world; your fs will take notice of that. i'm getting a lot of “i wonder what they're truly like..” there's this strong feeling of wanting to know you on a deeper level.
i get the feeling this pile is actually genuinely radiant in many eays, and has this strong presence and aura to them, which others take note of, but you yourself might still be unaware of and oblivious to. i don't think you've fully tapped into your potential and confidence just yet. you might even have some suitors who aren't outspoken about how they feel towards you, just because you can give off a more unapproachable vibe. your fs is quite likely to be included here.
they admire the way you're so adamant on just focusing on what needs to get done, concentrating on self-improvement and always striving to be the best version of yourself. they love how you're so perfectionistic, never really feeling fully satisfied, and continuously striving to reach higher levels.
also random, but i feel like some of you guys might have gorgeous and beautifully lucious hair, and some of your fs' might agree with me on that. i keep getting this feeling that they're just admiring you and gushing about you without you even knowing.
i have to say though, you two have the potential to have extremely interesting and deep conversations. i feel like you're the type of person who doesn't really enjoy speaking up a lot, i'm definitely sensing some trust issues, but once you actually get asked or approached by someone you feel like you can trust, you might have the tendency to overshare or trauma dump. i can just see your fs loving to listen to what you have to say, and although it's likely to be majorly consisting of very sincere stories, they'd even be ready to listen to you talk about.. actual nonsense, all day long. they just love seeing you light up and talk from your heart's content.
your fs will love how you aren't shy to be open about the things you've been through once you actually feel comfortable talking about them with someone. it's just part of who you are. like they'll just feel so eager to truly understand you as a person. not just your present, but especially your past and your history; how you came to be the way you are, your past struggles that had a profound impact on you.
life was hard on you, pile 2.. some of you might've had a childhood where you had to grow up faster than others, perhaps you were in a very competitive space or environment early on, or had to face a lot of external influences that threatened you in a way. others might've dealt with a lot of academic pressures, and had to prove themselves very early in life, so much so that you don't know much outside of doing your 200% best all the time. perhaps you grew up with a lot of siblings and had to be the mature one out of them, or your parents were incredibly strict.
either way, your fs will admire your sense of inner maturity and be in awe of how much you've been through for your age. you could be someone who's younger, but has a deep and wise soul, and this is something that's gonna be intriguing them in a major way. like pile 2! 🥹 all i keep sensing is them just wanting.. to genuinely hear what you have to say. they really want you to speak to them, so badly, and they're absolutely willing to listen to you for ages, if only they could.
this is one of the piles, who i feel like might have the deepest and most emotional bonds out of the three. you two just give me this vibe of, bonding over potential shared traumas or past experiences which have shaped you both in a significant manner. there's this major feeling of laying your soul bare, making yourself vulnerable in your most “unattractive” ways, but feeling accepted for it by the other party. i believe this pile might have this surprising and almost overwhelming experience of “wow, somebody.. actually sincerely loves me for everything i am, including my wounds and scars i thought were the most unlovable things about me” it might be an unusual but beautiful feeling you truly deserve.
you guys are so so extremely hard on yourselves, and your fs seems very empathetic, and has the potential to make you feel accepted and unconditionally loved, regardless of your flaws and faults. which i believe, is one of the most beautiful things about intimate relationships. rooting for you, dearly! <3
potential messages from your fs for you
“i was hiding my true feelings from you because i was scared of commitment and i didn't want to lose my freedom.”
“i couldn't give to you like i wanted because i'm still healing from my past.”
➳❥ pile 3
so to start, this pile was a little confusing to me, the energies were all over the place; maybe some of your lives are at a chaotic place right now as well.. bare with me while i try my best to explain. excuse the mess 🥹
this pile is po-wer-ful, to say the least. what's coming through right away, you guys know how to make the best out of situations. i feel like some people who chose this pile might know or might've already been with their fs, doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic connection, but there might've been some sort of emotional involvement. if not on your side, perhaps moreso on theirs. (like you were kinda meh whatever towards them, while they genuinely liked you) strong likelihood for them to be a past acquaintance or friend of yours, perhaps a past fling. nevertheless, your fs is noticing how you're the type of person who took whatever situation happened between you two, and turned the negativity into a fuel for power. i heard “your loss, not mine.”
you're someone who's pretty aware of what you want and need in life, and your fs is impressed about that. i do think you learned to comprehend your personal needs better over time. not only does your fs admire your ability to wholeheartedly welcome and embrace what serves you in life, but also your ability to reject the things that don't serve you in any way; and the way in which you express is it in this strong and clear manner. you seem very fair-minded, nicely balanced sense of judgement here; so you're likely to be good at assessing certain situations and weighing out the pro's and con's, saying no and yes according to what you think is right for yourself.
you aren't a person who is gonna accept, stay put and simply run with injustice because you don't wanna cause any drama. if you need to stir some things up in order to get the justice you deserve.. you will be doing that.
i do feel like you might've caused some other people, potentially your fs, feelings of disappointment before, however they're not able to actually be mad at you in retrospect, because in the end they know you're right. there's some situation here where you had to just turn off your emotions and approach things in a more rational manner. there might've been some direct and straightforward (perhaps a little hurtful for some) communication about certain things you weren't happy about or dissatisfied with, and you just truly felt the need to speak up about.
your fs applauds how you can emotionally detach yourself from people when needed, like literally not give a damn, and act according to your own will. they might feel quite jealous of that, envy it to an extent. like “wow, they really don't allow anyone to tell them what to do.” they see a lot of things they wish they were, in you.
i have a feeling you haven't always been like this, but as you matured, you needed to learn how to assert yourself in a stronger manner. at this point in time, you're very much focused on satisfying yourself on your own, before relying on anyone else to do it, so it's giving your fs this message of “well.. i don't really need you.”
your fs might've not enriched your life anymore, you just felt like things got boring and stale, which is why you cut them off. you simply aren't someone who will beat around the bush and walk on eggshells to please anybody. you prefer honest communication, since that's fair in your eyes.
i believe that this pile's fs is eager to work on themselves more in order to be better for you. they might even be waiting for you two to reunite at some point. there's a clear physical distance here, and a waiting period here.
i truly have the feeling they might feel a little inferior to you, and feel intimidated by you to a degree. you might give off a very proud or almost smug vibe to them, even if you yourself don't see it; your fs seems to view you in that light. almost like you got the good side of things, while they're struggling because of the separation.
they might be going through some situations or conversations they had with you in their head over and over, and wonder where exactly they went wrong. they're wondering how they can improve to not make the same mistake again, and i do think what happened between the two of you sparked a lot of personal and spiritual growth for the both of you.
i do feel like this relationship is likely to be a very slow-burn connection that doesn't develop quickly. i feel like the universe is working hard on showing both of you the signs, and letting you two meet again, but it all appears to be a slower work in progress. it's strongly giving a karmic relationship; there's some clear messages to be learnt here.
potential messages from your fs for you
“i know you are my soulmate. our bond is magnetic. i'm seeing all the signs.”
“i'm going through a lot right now. i need space and time to gather my thoughts.”
“i want a second chance, not being with you is killing me.”
“i keep looking at your pics.”
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dragonsbluee · 1 year ago
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I need everyone to acknowledge the fact that KRS!Cale is a MASSIVE bookworm. He's able to thrive in Birth of a hero because he read it and enjoyed it. (yesyes record helps him, but you can't ignore the fact that he knows the characters, not just the plot. That comes from liking the thing you're reading!)
Give me the young master spending his afternoons reading under the shade of a tree with a new book series and absolutely devouring it in one sitting. He's missed being able to read a whole series and not having to hunt for the next books through a destroyed city.
Give me Cale with a little notebook full of books he'd like to read, the titles collected from the people he talks to. He'll read anything or at least try it out, but fantasy remains his favourite genre.
He also writes little opinion blurbs for his favourtie books, or jots down quotes and favourite lines. Sure his record ability means that he doesn't really have to, but it's an old habit he enjoys.
Cale, who starts collecting books on his travels, just one or two from every place he visits. His friends and allies pick up on this and start bringing him books they think he'd like. Cale has a very speicifc and rare smile when someone gifts him a book. Its small, but it somehow takes over his entire face, and you can almost see his eyes sparkle in delight. It quickly becomes a smile everyone looks forward to.
Cale, who never turns down a book given as a gift, and so he starts picking up bits of knowledge from across the continent. He learns about the edible plants in the Jungle, the different variations of marble and stone throughout the Roan Kingdom, the fables and myths of the Dark Elves. He keeps them on a shelf in his room in the super rock villa, and every once in a while, the kids pick one to have read to them. When the shelf is full, Eruhaben pulls some out from his hoard as a gift to Cale. They're almost too gaudy, but Eruhaben enchants them to protect the books from dust, damage, and pests. Cale spends an entire day reorganizing his collection.
He never thought he would be able to build his own personal library, but here he is.
Cale loves to compare the books he has in this world and the ones he knew before. Sometime in the future, he sits down and uses record to copy out his favourite series. He gifts it to Choi Han so he can have a small piece of home he never got to experience.
It becomes known that the best way to get Cale to stop and actually take a break is to plop a kid on his lap and give him a book he's been looking forward to. One year for his birthday, Alberu gives Cale free rein to explore the palace's secret library. They find him curled up in a corner a couple hours later surrounded by stacks of books.
Cale is 100% the type of person to insist that more libraries should be available to the public so that he can read easily when travelling to different places. It's definetly not because he wants more kids to be able to learn how to read, and he was able to grow into loving books because of his local library.
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requiemforthepoets · 8 months ago
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this is me trying 𖦹 OP81
PAIRINGS: oscar piastri x female!reader
SUMMARY: growing up, the only thing you know is that you need to be strong, provide, and take care of your sister. but being with oscar, it was different, he made you feel things—that it’s okay to not be fine, vulnerable, and to be taken care of.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: i have this fic finished the other day but i was debating on whether to post it or not, but here we are. it’s been a while too since i last wrote for oscar, and this is like a comfort (?) fic idk lol. also, can i just say that LANDO ON POLE FOR THE SG GP!!! 😭🧡 ok, i hope you guys will have fun reading this one. enjoy! :)
REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.
WORD COUNT: 3.6k
WARNINGS: not proofread, typos, eldest daughter syndrome, no use of y/n, cursing, unnamed sister, named friend, and parents death
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You were sitting in the living room, surrounded by case files and legal books, trying your best to prepare for the court trial that you’ll be doing soon, but your mind was elsewhere. You can't focus on the work that you’re working on in front of you, no matter how hard you try. Your phone buzzed, and you almost didn’t answer, thinking it’s just another work call, but when you saw Blaire, your friend’s name, flash on the screen you quickly picked up, expecting a casual chat.
“Hey, Blaire, how are you?” You greeted her, trying to mask your exhaustion.
Her voice on the other end was hesitant, not the usual warm tone that you’re used to. “Hey…I really hate to bring this up, but I was wondering when you would be able to repay the five thousand dollars?”
Your stomach dropped. “Repay?” You repeated, utterly confused. “What do you mean five thousand dollars?”
The conversation between you and Blaire unraveled quickly. She explained how she had lent the money to your sister out of need, thinking it was for you or with your approval. Rage bubbled in your chest, your pulse quickened, at this point all you can see is red. You thanked her hastily, barely able to end the call before fury overtook you. Without thinking, you dialed your sister’s number, the beeps echoing in your ear like a countdown to an explosion.
“Hello?” Her voice was casual, completely unaware of the storm coming her way.
“What the actual fuck did you do?!” You yelled, not caring if it was late at night. “You borrowed five fucking thousand dollars from Blaire without asking me!? How could you?!”
There was a pause, a brief moment where you could almost feel her shrug through the phone. “Oh my god, can you relax? It’s not like you can't afford it. It’s not that big of a deal, you can just easily pay for it with how big you’re making, it’s barely a scratch on your bank account!” You couldn’t believe what you were actually hearing.
“Not a big deal? Did you spend the money already? Do you have any fucking idea how humiliating it is for me that you did this without even consulting me? You think just because I make good money, I’ll fix every mess you create?” You were seething.
“Well, yeah,” she responded with a laugh, clearly not grasping the gravity of the situation. “You’re my older sister. Isn’t it your job to take care of me, right?”
Your grip on your phone tightened. “I’ve been taking care of you your whole life! I’m working myself to the bone just to make sure you have everything you need, sending you to that fancy school that you’ve always wanted so you can have a better future, and this is how you repay me? By lying and stealing?”
The silence on the other end of the line felt heavy, but your anger has not subsided. She mumbled something that sounded like a half assed apology, but it was already too late for that. You immediately hung up and slammed the phone down on the table, heart racing, pulse pounding in your ears. Anger still swirling inside you like a storm, the words of your sister still echoing in your mind. You can just easily pay for it with how big you’re making. Her carelessness, lack of respect—it hit harder than anything you had experienced before. It wasn’t about the money, you could handle the five thousand dollars easily, but the way she completely dismissed your hard work, as if it was nothing, as if your sacrifice and years of struggle meant nothing—that was what burned deep. It hurts like fucking hell.
You sat down there on the couch, trying to calm yourself down, tears started to prick at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them back. You didn’t cry. You cannot cry. You have always been strong your whole life—the provider, carer, and protector. That’s who you were. No one had ever taken care of you, not since your parents passed away when you were fifteen and your sister is only ten. It has always been you, alone, against the world, and now, it felt like even your sister was against you.
You didn’t hear Oscar enter the living room until his voice, soft but firm, broke through the silence. “Hey, I heard you from our room. Are you okay?”
You swallowed hard, your body automatically stiffening instinctively and continued browsing through your documents like nothing happened.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry,” you lied, though the quiver in your voice betrayed you.
Oscar walked over and sat down beside you on the couch, his hand gently resting on your shoulder. “You don’t always have to be fine,” he said quietly. “Tell me, what happened?”
You exhaled sharply, your hands trembling as you ran them through your hair. “It’s my sister,” you muttered, trying to keep your voice steady. “She borrowed money from Blaire. Five thousand dollars. Without even telling me. Now, she’s acting like it’s my job to fix it.”
“Five thousand? That’s a lot.” Oscar frowned, his brows knitting in concern.
“I know,” you said, “she doesn’t even care. She just assumes I’ll take care of it, like I always do every time she gets into stupid situations. She thinks just because I earn good money, I’m supposed to fix everything.” Your voice cracked, and before you could stop it, the tears you had been holding back for so long finally broke free. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this, Oscar. I’m always the one fixing things, I’m always the one who has to be strong.”
Oscar didn’t say anything for a moment, he just stared at you, his eyes filled with understanding. Then, without a word, he pulled you into his arms. You tensed at first, still not used to being vulnerable, but Oscar’s embrace was warm, grounding. Slowly, your body relaxed into his, and the weight of the world seemed to lift just a little as you rested your head against his chest.
“It’s not fair,” you whispered to him. “I’ve always had to be the strong one. I’m tired, Oscar. I’m so fucking tired. I don’t know how much more I can take.”
His hand gently stroked your back, his voice soft and reassuring. “I know. It’s okay to be tired. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Not with me.”
You pulled back slightly to look at him, your eyes searching his face, “I just don’t know how to let anyone help me,” you admitted, voice barely audible. “I’ve been doing this for so long, I don’t know how to not be the one in control.”
“I get that. But you don’t have to do it all alone anymore. I’m here. Let me be strong for you, too.” Oscar smiled gently, brushing a tear from your cheek with his thumb.
For a moment, you didn’t know what to say. The idea of letting someone else carry even a fraction of the weight feels completely foreign to you. But as you looked at Oscar, his eyes full of sincerity, something inside you shifted. Maybe, it’s time you let it all fall down, you didn’t have to carry everything on your shoulders all the time.
“What am I supposed to do about her?” You asked, your voice small but steady now.
Oscar sighed softly, thinking for a moment. “You have all the right to be angry and upset. Your feelings are valid,” he said. “She needs to learn that actions have consequences. But at the same time, she’s your sister. She’s young, and sometimes young people tend to make mistakes. You’ve been doing everything for so long that she probably hasn’t learned how to take responsibility for herself yet.”
You nodded, wiping your eyes. “Yeah, maybe. But I can’t just let her think she can keep doing this.”
“No,” he agreed. “But you also don’t have to do this alone. We can figure it out together.”
You looked at him, really looked at him, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you weren’t alone. Maybe you didn’t always have to be the strong one, the provider, the protector. With Oscar by your side, you could learn how to let someone else carry the weight with you.
“Thank you,” you whispered, leaning into him once more. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Oscar smiled, pressing a soft tender kiss to your forehead. “You’ll never have to find out, I’m not going anywhere, my love.”
The next morning, you stared at the screen of your laptop, fingers moving quickly over the keys as you finished drafting the contract. The legal jargon was familiar, comforting even, but the fact that you had to use it against your own sister left a bitter taste in your mouth. The contract was firm, direct, and laid out the consequences clearly: five thousand dollars, to be repaid in installments, with interest and penalties if the deadline is missed. You hated doing it—your heart never felt so heavy—but you knew it was necessary. You had been too lenient for far too long, if she didn’t learn this now, she might never understand the true value of money and the responsibility that came with it. It was time for her to learn the hard truths you had known your entire life.
Oscar was sitting across the table, sipping his coffee, watching you in silence. “You’ve finished it?” He asked gently. You had told him last night that you need to straighten everything out, and told him your plan, in which he quickly supported you.
You nodded, eyes scanning the contract one last time before saving it. “Yeah. She’s not going to like it, but this has to be done.” You sighed, “I’ve been too lenient, too forgiving. I can’t keep cleaning up after her messes.”
“You’re doing the right thing.” He said as he reached over, placing his hand over yours. “It’s tough, but you’re teaching her a lesson she won’t forget.”
“I hope so,” you sighed, glancing out the window, the weight of responsibility pressing down on you once more. “I’ve never been one to ask for anything back, but she needs to learn that she can’t just treat me like this. I want her to be successful, but she can’t rely on me forever.”
Later that day, you booked a flight for her to Monaco, and notified her about the flight schedule. She was studying in Switzerland, and it would be a four hour flight from Switzerland to Monaco. It was time to have this conversation face-to-face. You couldn’t keep allowing her to avoid responsibility just because you were miles apart. This is a conversation that is long overdue.
A couple of days later, she arrived at your and Oscar’s shared apartment. She seemed different—more subdued, perhaps. You could tell the weight of your anger still lingered in her mind. She greeted you cautiously, her eyes flickering to Oscar, who stood nearby, his presence calm but protective.
“Sit down,” you said, pointing to the couch.
She looked at you, clearly trying to gauge your mood, but she did as she was told. You sat across from her, with Oscar by your side, and the freshly printed contract lying on the table between you. The tension in the living room was thick.
“I had already settled your debt with Blaire,” you began, your voice calm but firm. “But this conversation is not just about the money. It’s about respect, about responsibility.”
“I said I was sorry.” She crossed her arms, trying to play it cool.
“Sorry doesn’t fix this,” you snapped, your patience was already running thin, barely hanging on by a thread. “I have been providing for you because I want nothing but the best for you. But what you did was careless, and you disrespected everything I’ve done for you. You didn’t even ask me before borrowing that money, and then you just blatantly assumed I would handle it. You do this every time to me, you always get me into awkward and humiliating situations.”
She bit her lip, her attitude wavering. “I know, but you make so much—”
“That’s not the point!” You cut her off, about to lose your cool but Oscar had managed to calm you down by softly caressing your back. “Yes, I make good amount of money, but that money just doesn’t magically appear. I have worked hard, harder than you can imagine, to get to where I am. Do you want to know what’s worse? What’s worse is that you’re not even thinking about how hard it is to earn that money, how I burn myself off everyday. So I’m making you earn it back.” You slid the contract towards her.
“What’s this?” She looked down at it, then back at you, looking all confused.
“It’s an agreement,” you said. “I’ve decided to give you the five thousand dollars. Consider what you bought from that money as a gift, because I know you’ve been doing well in school, and it’s been a while since I’ve given you anything. But this will never happen again. You owe me that money, and you're going to pay it back. Every cent of it, with interest.” Her eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to protest, but you cut her off before she could even speak.
“This is not negotiable. I’m still going to support you, I’m still going to pay for your tuition, but you need to learn how hard it is to earn this kind of money. You’re going to work for it, and I'll expect proof—payslips, records—everything. If you miss a payment, there will be penalties added, and if you refuse or try to make a fool out of me, I’m not afraid to take legal action.”
“You’d sue me? Your own sister?” She stared at you in disbelief.
“Yes, I would,” you said coldly. “I don’t want to, but you’ve left me with no choice. You are already eighteen and will turn nineteen in two months, you are already capable of knowing what’s right and wrong. You need to understand that I’m not going to bail you out every time you mess up, this is your responsibility now.”
For a long moment, she didn’t say anything. Her face was a mix of shock and anger, but you could tell the gravity of the situation was already starting to sink in.
“I’m not trying to be harsh,” you said softly, leaning forward. “But I’ve been in your shoes, and I know firsthand how hard life can be. I have shielded you from that, and maybe that was my mistake. But if you’re going to succeed in this world, you need to understand that nothing is free, nothing in life is free. Everything comes with a cost.”
Oscar then leaned forward, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. “Look, we’re not doing this to hurt you,” he added, tone gentle but firm. “But this is a wake-up call. You need to understand how your sister has worked so hard, and how important it is that you start contributing. No one’s saying you have to do it alone, but you have to start doing something.”
Your sister’s eyes shifted between the two of you, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of guilt in her expression. She glanced back down at the contract, and you handed her a pen.
“Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll do it. I’ll pay you back.” Her attitude and defiance slowly faded from her face.
“Good.” You nodded, “then sign it.”
She hesitated for only a moment before scribbling her signature across the bottom of the contract. You felt a strange mixture of relief and sadness, knowing you had to be this tough, but also hoping it would be the turning point she needed.
“You can stay with us while you’re in Monaco,” you told her, “but I expect you to find a job as soon as possible. If you fail to keep up with your end of the deal, there will be consequences. Understood?”
“Understood.” She nodded, though her expression was still a mix of resentment and defeat.
You exhaled, feeling a small sense of relief wash over you. This wasn’t easy, and you hated having to be this strict with her, but it had to be done. Oscar wrapped his arm around you, his touch grounding as soon as you watched your sister head towards the guest room.
“You did the right thing,” he said quietly.
“I hope so,” you whispered, leaning into him. “I just want her to grow up.”
“Don’t worry, she will.” Oscar assured you, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your head. “With you as her sister, she doesn’t have much of a choice,”
Later that evening, the apartment finally fell quiet, dinner was definitely awkward and quiet, but with your sister already tucked away in the guest room, the weight of everything you had said and done began to settle in. You were sitting at the edge of the bed, heart heavy and mind replaying what had happened earlier over and over. The way your sister had looked at you—hurt and angry—it cut deeper that you were willing to admit.
You had always been strong, but this strength had come with a cost. Now, sitting in the stillness of the night, the reality of your actions hit you like a tidal wave. It wasn’t just the contract or the money, it was the fear—the fear that in trying to teach her a lesson, you might have pushed her too far. That in being the disciplinarian, you had damaged something that might never fully recover or heal.
Oscar entered the room quietly, sensing the shift in your mood. He sat beside you, his presence had always been comforting, but it wasn’t enough to stop the flood of emotions you had been holding back.
“Was I too harsh, Osc?” You whispered, voice barely audible.
He frowned slightly, tilting his head to look at you. “No, you weren’t. She needed to hear all of it.”
“I know,” you replied, voice trembling. “But what if I lose her because of this? What if she hates me for it?”
You felt your tears welling up again, but this time you couldn’t stop them anymore. They spilled down your cheeks, unchecked, as you finally let go of the tension and frustration you had been carrying.
“I’m not being harsh to punish her, I just want her to understand how hard life is, how much I’ve sacrificed. But what if all she sees is me being cruel?”
Oscar pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you as you broke down. You rested your head on his chest, sobs coming in waves, guilt and fear crashing over you. You had always been strong for so long—too long—and now, it felt like everything was unraveling.
“She’s my baby sister,” you choked out between sobs. “I don’t want to lose her. But I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want her to think I’m just some heartless person who only cares about money.”
Oscad held you tighter, his voice calm and steady as he spoke. “She won’t hate you. Not forever. She’s upset now, sure. But she’s young, and right now, she probably doesn’t understand why you’re doing this. But she will, trust me. One day, she’ll look back at it and realize that you did this because you love her.”
You shook your head, your chest tightening with the weight of your emotions. “I feel like I’m always the one who has to be the bad guy. I never get to be the one who’s just there for her, to support her without judgment.”
Oscar stroked your hair gently, his voice soothing. “You’ve done more for her than anyone else ever could. You’ve given her everything. You’re not the bad guy, you’re her protector, even when it means being tough on her. Yeah, maybe this will cause a rift for now, but it won’t last. She’ll come around, she’ll see that you’re doing this because you care.”
You pulled away slightly, wiping at your tear-streaked face. “What if she doesn’t?”
“She will,” Oscar said firmly. “But even if it takes time, you can’t keep beating yourself up for doing what’s right. You’re teaching her a lesson that no one else will. You’re giving her the tools to grow up, to be responsible. Sometimes, that means being tough. That’s tough love.”
You nodded, but the guilt still gnawed at you. “I just wish I didn’t have to be this person all the time. The one who fixes things, who keeps everyone in line.”
“I know. But you’re not doing this alone anymore, okay? I’m here. Whenever it feels like it’s too much, rest on me. You can always rest on me.”
You leaned into him again, his warmth easing the ache that you’re feeling inside of you. “I just hope she understands someday,” you whispered.
“She will,” Oscar said softly, kissing the top of your head. “And until then, you’ve done what you needed to do. You’ve set her on the right path, and that’s what matters.”
As the tears slowly subsided, you felt a flicker of hope, knowing that even though this was hard, it was necessary. Even if your sister doesn't see it now, you could only hope that one day, she would understand that everything you did was out of love.
The weight on your shoulders became a little lighter, knowing that Oscar was right. Even if it took time, even if there were still battles to fight, you knew you weren’t facing them alone anymore, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to breathe. You had done what needed to be done. Now it was up to your sister to follow through.
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mysillycomics · 1 year ago
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Hi everyone! This is Claire. I am writing to let you all know that we did it. We saved Bailey and Tiger Fluff, and we all live together in an apartment in Illinois, my home state. We really, really did it!!!
You can read our thanks, thoughts, and more under the read more :0)
(note: Oliver also goes by Bailey! She has two names.)
There are many important people on this journey that we would like to specifically thank.
First, all of our friends (especially Peregrine, Sophie, and Jackson) who were there on the day Bailey was evicted, who listened to me and helped me figure out what to do when I felt more lost than I’ve ever been. Without them we wouldn’t have been able to act so quickly and efficiently. Because of them, we were able to formulate a plan.
Speaking of Jackson, he and his partner Cherri need to be thanked once again. Jackson drove all the way from his home, Bailey’s motel, and back to get both her and Tiger to a place to stay while we figured out what to do next. They provided a warm, quiet, and safe place for both of them in a time when something like that was so far away. For the first time in a long time, I knew that Bailey was truly somewhere safe. For that, we will be forever grateful.
While we do not have their names, we would like to thank the staff of the airport and airline who helped make this journey objectively possible. They also made Tiger into a little celebrity on the flight, and everyone, including the pilot, went to greet her and congratulate her for being so brave. She really is the bravest little kitty we know.
Next are my very close friends Elle and Callan, who invited Bailey and Tiger to stay at their house not far from mine while we secured a place of our own. They, like Jackson and Cherri, gave both of them the space to simply be. I was able to visit a couple of times, and being with my favorite people made an extremely difficult time so much better. It made me think “this feeling is what we are fighting for”.
Finally, we’d like to thank you.
To all of you who read and shared our story, you helped us to feel seen and heard and not alone. Reading words of support in the comments, quote retweets, and tumblr tags truly made me feel like we could do this with everyone cheering us on.
To everyone who donated, your generosity this financially possible. As of writing, we received $19,381 from the GoFundMe. We are now able to use the rest of funds that have been tucked away in savings for rent, food, and bills. I cannot overstate how grateful we both are. What you did for us will never leave our hearts.
While Bailey and Fluffy were at Elle and Callan’s, we found an apartment. It was small, but perfect. We toured. We applied. And we got it.
And on December 9th, 2023, we moved in and started living together! Our goal, our dream, our driving force for so long was achieved. After three years of long distance, we finally made it.
Our home is small, and has some quirks as all homes do, but it’s ours. The love of my life, the best little cat in the word, and I are all together. We are safe, warm, happy, and loved. The future we fought so hard for us now the present. Forgive me for being long-winded. I just have so much to say about all of this! Sometimes I still can’t believe that we actually did it. But we did, we really did!!!
I’m going to keep the GoFundMe up for a little bit, but once things settle more I will close donations.
Thank you!!!!!!!!! 🧸💕
____
Hey everyone Bailey here, I cannot overstate just how grateful I am to every single one of you and how thankful I am that this journey has been able to come into fruition. It was very scary being in that motel not having a plan or knowing what I was gonna do next while everything was crumbling around me. If it wasn't for Claire and our incredibly kind and caring friends I don't know what I'd do. They helped me press on and get through this with Fluff and we finally did.
Finally we're in a place that brings nothing but peace and comfort, my anxiety has dropped and I'm doing things I've never thought possible and building up strengths I never knew I had, I feel whole in a way that I've never felt before and I'm just, happy.
I am so grateful to have Claire, for years she's been so supportive and comforting and has brought this dream we've had into reality and every day I am so thankful to have her, she is the love of my life and my best friend. The life that her, myself and Fluff now share will forever be together and we can finally begin living. 💚💜
Thank you everyone, thank you to our friends who let Fluff and I into their lives to be able to be safe while we get our bearings, thank you to everyone who said such kind and wonderfully compassionate words, cheering us on as we go, every day I was looking at the community post I made on YT and it was just filled with people being so supportive, and thank you everyone who donated and got us into where we are. We could not have done it without all of you. 🐟 ❤️ 🐟 ❤️
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sxorpiomooon · 9 months ago
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YOUR FS FEELINGS AFTER YOUR FIRST DATE - A PAC READING
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Pile 1-
I think pile 1's fs will meet them right after their breakup with someone or right after they had let go of something very big, something that no longer served them. Also the first thing I got was shutting down so they might be really tired when they first see or meet you and I also think it'll be late at night. I also think this late was very much delayed for some reason? It's almost as if accepting your fate like you try to avoid something so hard but can't stop it from happening so you just give in by the end. That's sort of the vibe for some reason? Lmaaao this is so funny bc right after the date they will immediately feel the need to rush things and they will be scared of rushing things too. This sort of reminds me of how people always say that the moment they met their fs they immediately knew and wanted to marry them that's the vibe. I see things going quickly too right after the first date, i see you guys going on alot of dates together I'm getting a vision of like a roller coaster date? Also you girlies are PRETTY PRETTY I had a vision of those trendy skirts and softy haha. This pile might have girlies with Libra placements I heard venus as well ANYWAYS I think your fs will immediately know it's like they will forget everything and now they are so hyped up to sum up the entire thing I heard "i belong"
Pile 2-
Hmmm I see a conflict here or two people meeting together after years? This kinda second chance romance type shit imma NGL. I also think that there is some history there as I said it might be you guys starting as enemies or simply second chance romance. Right after I wrote this my father started singing a song which basically translates to "don't leave me now" or abhi na jaao chord ke for those who want to give it a listen. Whatever it is oh y'all gonna have your LORES. Anyways I see two people legit being so grumpy on a date 😭😭 sipping their drinks this might be near water or a really pretty scenary I also hear beautiful instruments playing. Anyways all this won't last long bc I see and hear very warm laughter of both of you it's like you know in movies two people fighting something happens and they crack a laugh there's this eye contact and then one of them says or admits that "I missed you" THATS THHE VIBE OML. I see a familiar feeling that you have with an old friend. I heard "old habits die hard" out of nowhere. I also see you guys sort of making a note of learning from your past experiences to build a good solid future. This connection will be tested alot but I do see you guys being resilient. Honestly very beautiful vibe.
Pile 3-
HELL NAWWW LMAAAAAAAAAAAAO THID MAN WILL THINK THAT HE HAS TANKED THE DATE COMPLETELY DESTROYED OVER THIS HE WILL THINK THAT HE IS ABSOLUTELY DONE AND FINISHED AND THAT JE WILL NEVER GET THIS CHANCE AGAIN AND THAY JE IS A LOSER WHO FUCKED THIS CHANCE UP AND FUMBLED A BADDIE LMAAAAAAO. I see this man losing his shit legit whining wailing crying that he fucked up😭😭 I think he sort of a loser when it comes to communication. I jus see him shuttering n shit for those who are watching serendipity embrace(kdrama) the vibe is exactly like that second lead pt teacher lmao. I see him being so anxious after the first date bc he will think that he has tanked it. I think he might come across as someone who's very formal and has alot of attitude but in reality he will just not know how to talk😭 I don't even see him being able to gather the courage to hold eye contact with you. However, I do see something out of nowhere happening whether it will be him being able to meet you again or you texting him something good with happen and he will be very surprised to receive this chance or opportunity
Pile 4-
I don't see a very good vibe overall I won't lie. I see your fs being very confused with the entire date. I just think that things will perhaps not go well for this pile and I know exactly why it'll happen. One person will try to speed things up too much and it will scare the other person off. I just see one person trying to hurry everything up and it just being a big turn off for the other person. I think what this pile can try to do is perhaps not take things too fast and let the other person take their time as well. The more you try to speed things up the more it'll scare the other person off and it will end up in a disappointment. I'm sorry I couldn't give you much positive my pile 4<3
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hedwig221b · 8 months ago
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Do you by chance have BAMF Stiles recs? I'm reading your stories and all you rec so thank you for being awesome!!
Thank you so much! One wouldn't know by looking at my fics, but I absolutely adore BAMF!Stiles lol. He's a delight!
Daybreak by TheObsidianQuill
"There . . ." Stiles swallowed and looked down at the bottle in his grasp as he slowly swirled the amber liquid inside. "There's really nothing left. For me. Everyone is . . . gone, and it feels like I haven't thought of tomorrow in years." His words rang in the air like a gunshot, he took another heavy drink. "I would trade every last breath I take to just have another shot—not even a guarantee, just a chance to make things right and bring back even one of them." The pack was gone. He had nothing left. He had no one. With nothing to lose, Stiles puts everything on the line to go back in time to try to prevent the future from becoming his past. Broken, guarded, and haunted by his past, only one overgrown-pup of a wolf seems able to get past his defenses. Changing the future? Easy. Finding a place for himself in the Hale Pack? Impossible.
The Roads Not Followed by SylvieW
Scott decides to leave Beacon HIlls with Allison and her father. Stiles is left alone to deal with the supernatural troubles of his home town, so he turns to Derek. Years later, Scott’s new pack is threatened, and the only ones who can help them are the Hale pack and Derek’s powerful mate.
Not Your Disney Romance by Wrennefer
After a long-forgotten agreement of an arranged marriage between Derek and the daughter of another pack's alpha resurfaces, Stiles takes it upon himself to become the most amazing fake fiancé that a clueless, desperate alpha werewolf could wish for.
This is Ridiculous by zosofi
There's a unicorn in Beacon Hills. A fricken' unicorn. In fricken' Beacon Hills, California. And it turns out that unicorns aren't drawn towards virgins in a happy-go-lucky let-me-lay-my-not-at-all-metaphorical-horn-in-your-lap way. No. They kill them. And guess who's the only virgin idiotic enough to get sucked into the Beacon Hills supernatural scene? Stiles, that's who.
A Tangled Refuge by wanderingeyre
The Hale House has been rebuilt for the past five years and for all five of those years, it’s been a sanctuary for supernaturals that needed a place to stay, a halfway point, a place to recuperate, or a place to be safe from whatever was on their tail. Word traveled quickly in the small world of the supernatural and now they rarely had to seek out people who needed help. Most came to them.
What Fresh Twilight Bullshit Is This? by isthatbloodonhisshirt
“I am not Bella!” he insisted, shaking his fist angrily at Jackson, as if he’d been the one to suggest he was. “I am not Bella! I am, like, a Jacob, at least!” Lydia made a noise of debate from his right and he whipped around to look at her. “What?! What was that sound?!” “You’re more of a Mike,” she insisted, shrugging neatly and flipping some curls over her shoulder. “Wha—” Stiles had never been so offended in his life! “I am not! No way! I am a solid Jacob!” “Mike,” she argued. “Who’s Mike?” Scott asked. “Shut up, Scott!” Stiles insisted, pointing a finger at him but still glaring at Lydia.
Came For The Spark, Stayed For The Flame
Derek felt the panic build up in his chest as Jezebel held out a hand. He smelled it before he saw it, because who could forget the scent of what destroyed your life? Fire and spark and smoke curled from Jezebel's hands, and the wood stacked at Stiles' feet flared up. When Stiles and Derek get bonded as Emissary-and-Alpha, hidden attractions become a lot harder to hide, secrets are kept and secrets are surfaced, and an evil teenage girl is planning even more ritualistic sacrifice. Canon divergence from the end of 3a.
Dangerous by jjmash
There are a lot of things that the pack doesn’t know about Stiles. Some of it is little things he simply has no reason to mention, like how he almost failed organic chemistry his first semester at Stanford. Some of it is bigger stuff that he just can’t bring himself to think about, like the nightmares that still plague most of his nights and trap him inside his own mind in increasingly horrific ways. But most importantly, the pack doesn’t know all the ways in which Stiles has transformed during his time away from them. He doesn’t need fangs and claws to be dangerous.
The Person You'd Take a Bullet For (is Behind The Trigger) by SadieHerondale
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but until he gets Derek back, Stiles' actions are going to be worse than bad. And he will get Derek back, come hell or high water.
Something More Than Human by gatergirl79
Stiles Stilinski has a secret, a huge secret. A secret that will change the way everyone sees him. No, he hasn't been bitten by a werewolf. Stiles Stilinski is the product of a government experiment to create the perfect soldier, a human weapon. As a second generation transgenic, Stiles has been living a normal life with his dad in Beacon Hills, playing the role of klutzy sidekick to his werewolf best friend. All that changes however when Derek saves his life, Stiles finds himself slowly embracing who he really is. - But at what cost?
Red Witch by rootbeer
The red hair of a banshee. The red eyes of an alpha. The red hoodie of a mage. The red of fire burning. Derek Hale has been a prisoner to the hunters since they burned his family alive. But now someone has come to save him: skinny, defenseless Stiles--147 lbs of skin and fragile bones. Turns out, sarcasm isn't his only weapon.
Oh my (let me look at those eyes) by Gorgeousgreymatter
A few months ago, he might’ve been able to solve this with some force—a little man-handling, a snarl, a glimpse of teeth. But he looks at Stiles’s broken face, knows he’s seen too much horror and blood and evil, the whole Big Bad Wolf routine is just going to fall flat. Because Derek looks at Stiles and he doesn’t carry himself like a teenager anymore. He carries himself like a soldier.
Now with part 2!
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Hey I was wondering would it be possible to do the dorm leaders with an s/o that suffers from Essential tremor.
And Essential Tremors is a nervous system condition, also known as a neurological condition, that causes involuntary and rhythmic shaking. It can affect almost any part of the body, but the trembling occurs most often in the hands, especially when doing simple tasks, such as drinking from a glass or tying shoelaces.
I have it and I was just wondering how they would deal or help with it
Disabled Yuu
I actually know a bit abt this but I did keep it vague as I don't have it myself. I also hope to do more disabled ayuus fr. I made Yuu assertive and exasperated in some parts– like Honestly if ur being an ass or demanding info abt someone's disability you have full right to return the energy.
I avoided the whole fixing thing in this too– though Azul’s part does bring it up. Platonic as I focused more on the hand aspect. Azul is Pre Overblot!! Hence why hes 2x as sleazy. I didn't Malleus cause it came out corny af. Also this is old and I wrote this on no sleep. Sorry this took so long I have like 70 reqs. Enjoy.
***
Riddle 
Since the first Unbirthday party you shared with Heartstabyul he got educated very quickly on the subject. He sees you shakily bring a cup to your lips and guiltily assumes it was because of his overblot. He doesn't blame you, I mean come on, he tried to kill you after all. It was then you explained to him your condition
Since then, he actually read up on it in his own time. He's honestly one of your biggest supporters– though you do need to remind him at times you don't need coddling. Still, you can appreciate it…
“Prefect.” You pause and turn your attention to the housewarden beside you. “Your tie is unkempt today. Will you allow me to fix it?” He asks thoughtfully, not wanting to intrude or risk coming off as rude.
“Ah, can you really? I'd appreciate it.” You presented your neck to Riddle, allowing him to reach over and adjust for you. His gaze was focused as he untied it, re-wrapping it with perfection as if it were second nature. Given his upbringing, you don't doubt it is.
“Thank you by the way, today I just didn't have the energy to deal with it.” When he's finished you pull away and nod at him. “Of course. Should you ever need help with anything in the future let me know. I'll be glad to help.”
Leona
Leona doesn't notice and doesn't really care. It's only when you share a room with him where he sees it, watching you tremble from where you lay. You have a blanket and the dorm is warm.  Why are you shaking?
“Look at you trembling in the lion's den. Do I scare you that much?” He quirked an uninterested brow at you as you turned your head to him.
“... It's a neurological condition…” You spoke bluntly, hoping that would be the end of it. “So it causes you to tremble like this?” 
“Yeah pretty much.” Leona merely hummed, and the subject dropped. No invasive questions. No taunts. No pity.
He's not mothering you or bending over backwards in the future and don't expect him to. It's clear you've been able to handle yourself well enough. Still, he takes it into consideration. He'll bite his tongue when you take a bit longer to do things.
You don't need to be babied, but when he sees you struggling to open a wrapper of some sort of a candy he offers his hand “Give it here. I'll help you out” You wordlessly handed over the candy and watched him slice through it with the claw on his thumb.
“Tch. You make me do too much…” It's an insincere remark as he hands off the candy bar and continues on his way.
Azul
“... I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly Azul, can you repeat what You said?”
“Cant believe your ears?” Azul wore a smirk as he put a hand on his chest, speaking once more with his confident tone. “The Mostro Lounge has quite a special deal just for you, dear Prefect! A special cure to your ailmen–”
“That's what I thought you said.” Azul paused for a moment taking in your annoyed tone. Did he miscalculate? “Something the matter Prefect–”
“Azul.” You now looked at him with a cold glare, clearly pissed. Azul swallowed, steeling his anxiety behind his businessman persona though the slight widening of his eyes gave away some of his true emotions. “... Yes, Prefect?”
“Why the fuck do you think saying that is okay?” You couldn't tell right now if your hands were trembling from your condition or rage. “Are you dense?” you ask, voice harsher.
“N-no, Prefect. I'm sorry if anything I said has caused you offense…” The deepened glare silenced him. “Think for a moment the implications of you wanting to cure me, and even if I did accept then what? You'd seriously hold something as sensitive as this over my head? Would you even be able to cure it long term?”
How badly you wanted to tear him a new one and let him have it, insults resting on your tongue. Instead, you sighed, exhausted from this conversation already. It wasn't worth your time.
“I'm not some ‘charity’ case though I doubt you know the meaning of the word. I don't need your ‘cures’. Just… leave me alone from now on. Don't talk to me, don't approach me.” you turned away and sped off, more frustrated than ever.
It would take until after his overblot for an apology.
Kalim 
Oh Kalim… he really does mean well but…
“And this spoon is designed for shaky hands!”
“I don't need…”
“And these are silk ribbons you wrap them with!”
“Thank you but–”
“And these magical devices are to help check blood pressure–”
“Kalim.”
Kalim blinked and tilted his head, still in the middle of putting the excessive amount of gifts into your hands “Ah?” He blinked for a moment. “Ohhh I know that tone, that's the same one Jamil uses when he tells me I go overboard…”
Kalim's brows knit together and he rubs his head through his white hair. “Did I go overboard again?” He's so genuine it's hard to be mad at him.
“... A little. Hey‐” You hold Kalim's face and pat him on the head. “Thank you though. It's very sweet of you to look out for me, but… I don't need all of these things. I'll be alright okay?”
“Oh! Okay! Well if you ever need anything I'm here!” Kalim pumps his fist then turns to the massive pile of boxes behind him. “So um… what should I do with these…?”
"Donate them maybe?”
Vil
Another example of doesn't really care. He inquired about it once, asked some polite questions and left it at that. There's no need for him to bother you.
When the VCD tournament comes around and he spends more time with you, he takes note of how it affects you. Many expect him to make comments or give you products to take care of your hands more, and he does, however he would have done that regardless of your condition.
Your disability doesn't define you and you're capable on your own. You don't need an able-bodied outsider to tell you what to do or how to feel. A really good ally. 
As he collects all the data on how your condition affects you specially, he's able to give you some welcome help. 
“This potion is good at helping with seizures, but it can also help with your Tremors. I will show you how to make it.”
Idia 
“So your hands can't stay still? Oof, bad RNG.” He immediately realizes he used video game terms out loud and dies just a bit. 
Really it's only Ortho that inquires about it. Your body's not any of Idia's business so why should he care? After all, how many times has he seen you irl? Yeah lol, he's cool. He barely knows you aside from a few random encounters on a bad roll. 
However Ortho cares. He cares a lot. And he's always trying to find ways to potentially help or cure you. Idia watches his little brother researching every book he can find on your condition and sighs.
“There's no cure right now Ortho. now even magic. Besides that's Yuu’s choice, isn't it?” He shrugs and looks off to the side apathetically. 
Sad beeps come from the humanoid. “Yeah I know that… I think I upset them but I didn't mean to…” The child's mournful expression suddenly perks up. 
“But! I'm not trying to do that! I'm researching the best way to make a game controller!” 
“A game controller? Isn't that pretty easy?”
“Well yes but…” Ortho pauses, reflecting on his earlier conversation.  “I asked Yuu if they enjoyed any video games and they said that they do. However, it's hard to play certain games because of their hands. So!”
Ortho shows Idia the 3d model he sculpted in his program. “I'm working on one that will work for them.”
“Working on one that works for them…” Idia looked to the side. He couldn't imagine a world without video games… and he doesn't have much to do… and he supposed the Prefect is okay…
“Send the file to me. I'll get to printing it.”
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theliving-radio · 2 months ago
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I know I haven’t posted in a while, still working on some things and trying to get life sorted out. I work a full time job in retail, which isn’t where I wanted to be in life so I’m trying to work things out.
Either way- I’ve been coming up with some things with Big brother Malleus, most of it just goofy shit.
So I hope you enjoy this small prompt:
Malleus didn’t know what to do with himself at this very moment. He came to pick you up after class so he can walk you to your next one, but unfortunately you weren’t here. So instead he was standing right in front of your desk…
Where a white envelope and a red heart sticker was placed carefully upon it.
The fae stood there in the empty classroom as he glared down at the paper, as if it insulted him.
Was this… a love letter?!
Was someone trying to court his baby sibling?!
Which heathen was trying to take away his baby sibling’s innocence?!
Without thinking, Malleus snatched the letter from your desk and ripped it open. He was hoping that maybe whoever left this horrendous piece of display wrote their name down.
So he would be able to hunt them like the animal they are.
Dear (Y/n),
I do apologize for leaving this letter for you to find, it must be quite a shock. But I can’t contain my feelings for you any longer. When I first saw met you, I didn’t think much about you. But as time progressed, you turned my world upside down and I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be able to turn it back around. You changed my views on certain things, and for that I am grateful. At first I believed this was just a small crush that will pass over time, but now I realized, I am in love with you. I love you, (Y/n). You don’t have to feel the same, but I felt like I needed to say it. For you to acknowledge it. I thank you for taking the time to read this letter, and I will see you around.
Love,-
“Horton?”
Without warning, or a second thought, Malleus shoved the letter into his mouth and quickly turns to face you.
Both of you just stand and stare at each other; all that was heard to fill the silence is the ticking sound from the classroom clock, and then the sound of Malleus gulping down the paper.
“… I’m going to ignore that.”
“Please do.”
Both of you went silent once again, and again, you broke it.
“Anyway… we took our class outside today. I came here because I figured you wanted to walk me to my next one.”
“Yes, I wanted to make sure you arrived to your next class safely...” Malleus moved his hand to cover his mouth, already feeling a small burp coming up but was lucky to cover it.
This was so unlike him, but he doesn’t know what to do in this situation!
Malleus, ever the kind big brother he was, took some of your school books and held them for you. “Shall we go then?” You nod and both of you make your way out of the classroom.
You weren’t going to bring up on why Malleus decided to eat paper, so you avoided that topic and began talking about the lessons you did on your field day. Though, the whole time you talked, Malleus was only partially paying attention…
He never got to read who the sender was… and that fact irked him.
So as he walked along side you, Malleus was planning to investigate on the matter. He needed to know which Gibface Bachelor is trying to swoon his sweet, innocent, darling Baby Sibling! He will not rest until he able to find them!
With a head filled of ideas of torture, and a belly filled with paper-
Malleus was ready to hunt.
————————
I’m hoping to maybe continue this idea later on in the future if you guys want more! At the moment I’m working on a Big Brother Malleus comic, along with finishing up an Ask that I got.
But I wanted to share this with everyone!
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bootsukki · 8 months ago
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“Hey Reddit, an update”
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aita series masterlist previous part
author's note: tysm for the incredible amount of notes, reblogs and likes the series has had. i'm completely amazed by it :D i would love to read your opinions on this! hope you enjoy this part! there is just one part left to the series and that makes me really sad but life goes on (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥`)
this has 5k words!!!! sorry!
warnings: a bit of angst, fluff and SMUTTTTTTTTT (smut will start and finish after this: *****) so please, mdni!!! p.s.: haven’t written smut in ages so……….
The university was buzzing with the usual midday energy when Tsukishima stepped through the front doors. Multiple students were going in and out of the several buildings, ready to go home or get some lunch. Tsukishima fixed his tie, nervous. It was two days after their painful phone conversation and even though he didn't want to admit it, talking to Akiteru about everything made him more aware of (Y/N)'s feelings. He couldn't let things stay the way they were. He didn't want to lose the woman of his dreams just because he cannot deal with his plans and his nerves towards his future proposal.
Clutching the bento in his hand, he made his way through the education building. (Y/N) was in her last days of finishing the first draft of her book so she was likely to be at the small office Fujimoto-san, her mentor, had given her to work on it. The smell of (Y/N)'s favourite food wafted from the bento and, despite the knots in his stomach, he hoped this would be the first peace offering that would get them closer.
He had tried his best to get her to come home, texting her the previous day with little success, only receiving a yes/no answer to his texts. He had even tried contacting Yachi but the smaller girl was completely blinded by rage towards him ("Tsukishima, you're a fucking asshole and if you think I'll let you hurt my best friend, you're terribly wrong about it. I may be 5 feet tall but I know how to punch someone, especially tall guys like you.") He regretted his actions from that night, including the complete silence he gave her when she was just trying to get an explanation from him.
When he reached her office, Tsukishima took a deep breath, stopping at the doorway. He was nervous to even see her as she had been staying at Yachi’s, knowing she had been at home showering and taking clean clothes whenever he was at work thanks to the smell of her coconut shampoo and the missing socks from the pile of laundry he needed to get through. As he was about to knock on the door, a voice called his name and he turned.
"Fujimoto-san."
"I knew it was you, Tsukishima." Fujimoto-san was a 55-year-old university professor that had been (Y/N)'s professor during her first year. He had been with her through every stage of her university degree and he was the one to who proposed writing a book on second language methodologies to her and the one who accompanied her during her research in the US. Tsukishima was grateful that (Y/N) had found someone who was giving her the support she needed to get over the project, almost acting like a father figure towards (Y/N). "What are you doing here?"
"I was bringing (Y/N) some lunch."
"Oh! That's so nice of you, boy. She hasn't been out of the office for the whole day." Fujimoto knocked on the door and without even waiting for an answer, he opened the door.
(Y/N) was sitting at her desk, completely absorbed in her work, clicking the keys on the keyboard quickly as she wrote, brows furrowed in concentration.
"(Y/N)."
"Fujimoto-san, sorry, I haven't been able to find the document you asked me for." She looked up, surprise flashing across her face as she saw her boyfriend next to the professor before her expression hardened slightly. She wasn't expecting him here. "Kei."
"He brought you some food, isn't that great?"
(Y/N) gave her mentor a soft smile and stood up, getting close to them. With a smile, she reached for the bento on his hands.
"I just wanted to let you know that he's here. I'll leave you two lovebirds eat alone."
"Thank you, Fujimoto-san."
The man waved his hands, leaving the office and closing the door behind him.
"Kei," she said, her tone uncertain, guarded. "What are you doing here?"
Tsukishima shifted, feeling awkward. "I thought you might be hungry," he said, voice softer than usual. "And… I wanted to talk."
Her eyes flickered to the bento, then back to his face, her expression unreadable. For a moment, she didn’t say anything, and Tsukishima’s heart pounded in his chest, nervousness gnawing at him. What if she didn’t want to hear him out? What if she was done?
But finally, she sighed, gesturing for him to sit down.
Relief washed over him as he sat down on a chair. "It’s your favorite," he added quietly, watching her reaction.
(Y/N) looked at the food, then back at him. Her walls were still up, and he could feel the distance between them. But she was here. She was listening.
"Thanks," she muttered, but there was still tension in her voice. "But you didn’t have to bring me food just to say whatever you came to say."
"I know," Tsukishima said, sliding his hands into his pockets. "But I wanted to."
There was another long pause before (Y/N) sighed, leaning back in her chair. "I can’t talk right now, I have a meeting in 10.”
“Oh.” Tsukishima shifted on his feet, feeling the weight of rejection settle uncomfortably on his shoulders. “I didn’t know.”
(Y/N) sighed softly, the tension between them palpable even in her small office. “I really can’t talk right now,” she repeated, glancing over at her desk again. “But maybe… we could talk after work? At home?”
Her voice was quieter on that last part, as if she was extending a tentative olive branch. Tsukishima nodded immediately, relief washing over him despite the lingering tension. “Yeah. Tonight, at home. We can talk then.”
She nodded, and for a moment, their eyes met—there was something fragile in her gaze. It made his chest ache. “Okay,” she whispered, opening the bento. “Thank you for the food.”
He didn’t press her further, didn’t try to fix everything in that moment. Instead, he turned to leave, hoping that maybe, just maybe, they’d be able to find their way back to each other that night.
*****
Later that evening, Tsukishima sat on the couch, waiting, his fingers tapping rhythmically against his knee as he tried to calm his nerves. His mind was racing, replaying everything that had happened between them—how distant he had become, how his silence had hurt her more than he’d realized.
When (Y/N) finally walked through the door, she looked drained from the long day. She dropped her bag by the door and glanced over at him, offering a small wave.
“Hi,” she said softly, as if unsure of how to start.
“Hey,” he replied, standing up awkwardly. “You want to sit down?”
She nodded, walking over to the couch and sitting down next to him, but there was still a noticeable gap between them. The air between them felt heavy, weighted down by everything they hadn’t said.
For a long moment, neither of them spoke. The silence stretched on, thick with tension and uncertainty, and Tsukishima felt the guilt gnawing at him. He hated how far apart they felt, how much he had hurt her without meaning to.
Finally, (Y/N) took a deep breath, her voice small and shaky when she spoke. “Kei, I… I don’t even know where to begin.”
He swallowed hard, his throat tight. “I know,” he muttered, his gaze dropping to his hands. “I’ve been terrible about all of this. I’ve shut you out, and I didn’t realize how much it was hurting you. I’m sorry.”
(Y/N) bit her lip, looking down at her lap. “It’s not just that you shut me out, Kei. It’s everything… You’ve been staying late, coming home at random hours, and… Mia—”
Her voice broke slightly as she said the name, and Tsukishima’s heart sank.
“You obviously don't notice but I’ve seen the way she looks at you,” she continued, her words trembling. “I've noticed since that time you were out with your coworkers and I had to give you your keys and from that moment, she’s always around, and I just—I couldn’t help but think that maybe you were spending time with her. Maybe… maybe you were choosing her over me.”
Her voice cracked, and she quickly wiped away a tear that slipped down her cheek, trying to maintain her composure. But Tsukishima could see how much this had been eating at her, festering under the surface.
“I felt so stupid for thinking that,” she whispered, her shoulders shaking slightly. “But I couldn’t help it. Every time you were late, every time you didn’t answer my texts… I thought maybe I was losing you to her.”
Tsukishima’s chest tightened painfully as he listened to her. The thought that she had been feeling like this—feeling jealous, insecure, like she wasn’t enough—it tore him apart inside. He had completely ignored her, left her on the dark on everything and his words from two nights before were eating him alive, seeing her like that. He had been so focused on keeping the surprise, on managing everything on his own, that he hadn’t even seen how much he was hurting her.
“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice filled with regret. He reached out, gently taking her trembling hands in his. “Mia means nothing to me. I don’t even notice her like that. She’s just a coworker. You... You’re the one I love. You’re the only one I want.”
Her lip quivered, and more tears fell from her eyes. She looked away, trying to compose herself, but the pain was too raw, too fresh. “But you...” she whispered. “You never told me what was going on, so I didn’t know… I didn’t know what to think. All those nights at the museum or with the computer here at home... I don't know, I felt so...”
Tsukishima squeezed her hands gently, his heart aching. “I should have told you sooner,” he admitted, his voice low. “I didn’t mean to make you doubt yourself or us. I was just… trying to plan something special for us. That’s why I’ve been working late. I’ve been trying to get everything ready for our anniversary. I've been looking for the best place where we can relax and I've been trying to get days off by just... overworking, I guess.”
She looked up at him through her tears. “Our anniversary?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, his voice soft. “I’ve been planning a trip. Just the two of us. I wanted it to be a surprise, but in trying to keep it secret, I ended up shutting you out. I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t enough. I'm the worst at these things. I hate surprises.”
(Y/N) blinked, more tears falling, but this time there was a flicker of relief in her expression. “You were doing all that for us?”
“I was,” he said, brushing a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “But that doesn’t excuse how I handled it. You shouldn’t have had to worry about Mia or think that I didn’t care. I should’ve been open with you, told you what was going on, not leaving you like nothing was happening. I was a complete asshole with you.”
Her shoulders trembled, and she let out a shaky breath, wiping at her eyes. “I felt so stupid, Kei,” she whispered. “I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you, like I was… like I was losing you to her.”
Tsukishima’s heart clenched, and without another word, he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. “You’re not losing me,” he murmured into her hair, his voice soft but firm. “You’re never going to lose me. She isn’t even a thought in my mind. You’re the one I want, Y/N. You’ve always been the one.”
Her hands gripped his shirt tightly, and she sobbed quietly into his chest, letting out all the emotions she had been holding in. Tsukishima held her close, his hand gently stroking her back.
After a few moments, she pulled back slightly, her face streaked with tears. “I don’t want to feel like this again,” she whispered, her voice broken. “I don’t want to keep thinking I’m not enough for you.”
“You are enough,” he said firmly, cupping her face in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. “You’re more than enough. I’m sorry I made you doubt that. I’ll do better. I promise I’ll be honest with you from now on. We’ll talk about everything—no more shutting each other out.”
She sniffled, her fingers curling around his wrist, holding onto him like he was her anchor. “I just want to feel like I matter to you, Kei.”
“You do,” he whispered, his thumb gently brushing her cheek. “You matter more than anyone. I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I’m sorry I didn’t show that enough. I’ll do better. You are my everything. I won't hurt you like this again.”
She nodded, tears still clinging to her lashes, but the weight between them seemed to lift, just a little. “We’ll figure this out,” she whispered. “Together. I also need to communicate my feelings better."
Tsukishima leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, lingering there for a moment before moving onto her lips, kissing them for just a second. “Together,” he echoed, his heart swelling as he held her close.
"We really suck at this sometimes," she muttered.
"Yeah, we do."
They both laughed softly, still holding each other tight.
*****
(OP) tsuk113_:
Hey Reddit, an update.
Seems like we just needed to have a long and conversation between us. I took your comments and advice from friends to heart and explained everything to her. I told her about the surprise trip (but not about me proposing on that trip, surprise, I guess) and everything has gone well. WE are working on our problems and I promised her to be better. I need to be better for her because she is truly the best thing that has happened to me.
Anyway, trip is just a few days away and I'm actually nervous about proposing but, I hope it goes right.
*****
The drive up the mountains had been long, winding through dense forests and past breathtaking views, but the destination was worth it. Tsukishima had booked a secluded cabin that sat high up, surrounded by towering trees and overlooking a serene, glassy lake. The autumn air was crisp, carrying the scent of pine and earth, and the sky above was a brilliant expanse of deep blue. It was the kind of place that felt untouched by time, peaceful, and far removed from the hectic pace of their daily lives.
(Y/N) had been in better spirits since their talk. Tsukishima had worked hard to open up to her, to let her in on how overwhelmed he had been. And while she didn’t know the full reason for the trip, she had let herself hope that this weekend away was his way of making things right between them and celebrate their anniversary as well.
After they had settled into the cabin and left their small suitcases by the beautiful bedroom that had amazing views to the lake, (Y/N) found herself touring the place as Tsukishima started to cook them dinner, standing by the long railing at the balcony, appreciating the views and fresh air, the view of the mountains and lake calming her completely. She smiled softly as she took it all in, admiring the leaves on the trees and their vivid shades of gold, red and orange, making the entire scene look like something out of a painting.
Tsukishima had been looking at her from his place at the kitchen, the weight of the ring in his pocket settling in, waiting for the right moment.
As the sun began to set, casting the sky in shades of pink and lavender, Tsukishima suggested they take a walk before they have some dinner.
Taking their coats and putting on more comfortable shoes, they stepped outside into the cool evening air, the path they followed covered in fallen leaves that crunched beneath their boots. (Y/N) held her boyfriend's hand, leaning against him as they walked in comfortable silence. He had found the perfect place to relax and she was grateful for it. (Y/N) breathed deeply, feeling the tension of the last few weeks melting away in the serenity of the surroundings.
As they reached the lake, (Y/N) walked away from Tsukishima, leaning towards it, looking at the sky. "This place is amazing," she said, voice soft as she looked at the lake glimmering under the fading sunlight. "If this were a movie, we would see a proposal right now."
Tsukishima's heart skipped a beat as his hand made his way towards his front pocket.
"Is that so?"
(Y/N) laughed, completely unaware of the scene that was about to happen behind her. "I think we are the only people here, though, but..." She streched her arms out to the horizon. "Wouldn't that be something?"
When she turned back around to make another playful comment, the words died on her lips.
Tsukishima was no longer standing behind her. Instead, he was down on one knee, his tall frame somehow looking both awkward and incredibly graceful at the same time. In his hand was a small velvet box, the lid open to reveal a delicate, sparkling ring.
(Y/N)’s heart stopped. Her breath caught in her throat, her hands flying to her mouth as she stared at him in disbelief.
For a moment, neither of them said anything. Tsukishima, for all his careful planning, looked almost… shy. His usual sharp gaze softened as he looked up at her, the words he had rehearsed for weeks suddenly feeling far more significant now that she was standing there, her eyes wide and her lips trembling in surprise.
“(Y/N),” he began, his voice low and steady, though his heart was racing in his chest. “I’ve never been good at showing how much you mean to me. I know I’ve messed up, more than once… but you’ve been with me through it all. And I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. These 5 years with you as my girlfriend have been the best years of my life. You have taken care of me, loved me and I can't be more grateful that you are mine.”
(Y/N) was already tearing up, her hand still covering her mouth as she let out a soft, breathless laugh.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.” Tsukishima continued, his voice just a little quieter now, as if speaking the words made him feel vulnerable in a way he wasn’t used to. “I want us to have forever. So… will you marry me?”
For a moment, the world seemed to stand still. The only sounds were the gentle rustling of leaves in the breeze and the soft murmur of the lake below. (Y/N) stared down at Tsukishima, her heart pounding so loudly she could barely hear anything else. (Y/N) got on her knees, looking at Tsukishima, the man in front of her blushing.
“Yes,” she breathed, her voice cracking with emotion. “Yes, of course!”
Tsukishima let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, his lips pulling into a rare, genuine smile. He, carefully, took the ring away from the box, slipping the ring onto her finger with careful precision, as though it was the most important thing he’d ever done. Once the ring was in place, he cupped her face in his hands, leaning down to press his lips against hers.
(Y/N) closed the distance between them, her arms wrapping around his neck as she kissed him, the taste of salty tears on her lips from the emotions spilling over. In that moment, it felt like everything had fallen into place.
When they finally pulled away, (Y/N) laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I just joked about you proposing.”
Tsukishima raised an eyebrow, his smirk returning. “Timing is everything.”
She laughed again, glancing down at the ring on her finger. It had a parti sapphire as a centerpiece, a gem with a blend of rich forest green and subtle blue hues. The sapphire, in an oval shape, was set in a delicate gold band surrounded by what it seemed like small diamonds. It was, elegant and perfect—just like him, in his own way.
“Wow, Kei... It is beautiful... I can’t believe you managed to keep this a secret,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “You, the guy who hates surprises.”
Tsukishima shrugged, a slight flush coloring his cheeks. “I figured you were worth making an exception for. To be honest, I thought you were going to find the ring at home.”
"What!?" (Y/N) gasped. "Where was it?"
"I know you hate grocery shopping so I hid the box between the bags I take shopping."
(Y/N) laughed, her heart swelling with so much love she thought it might burst. She reached up to brush a stray piece of hair out of his eyes, her thumb tracing the familiar curve of his jaw.
“I love you,” she whispered, her voice full of everything she felt but couldn’t quite put into words.
Tsukishima’s eyes softened, and for once, he didn’t feel the need to hold back. “I love you too.”
Their lips met in a kiss that was soft, sweet, and filled with everything unsaid. It wasn’t hurried or desperate—it was gentle, almost reverent. Her hands slid up to cup his face, his glasses cool under her fingertips as she pulled him closer, deepening the kiss just a little. It was a kiss that spoke of promises and forever, a merging of relief, joy, and love so deep it made their heart ache in the best way possible.
Tsukishima’s hands tightened around her, pulling her flush against him, and for once, he let himself be completely open, pouring all the love he had into that single kiss. As they finally pulled apart, their foreheads rested together, both of them smiling breathlessly, the world quiet except for the pounding of their hearts in sync.
*****
(Y/N) hugs Tsukishima from behind, enjoying the warmth of his body as he washes the dishes of their dinner. Tsukishima can't help the smile on his lips as his eyes glance down to her ring, sparkling under the lights of the kitchen. For a moment, he is grateful about the lack of signal of their phones because for once, (Y/N) is not checking her emails constantly (seriously, Tsukishima reckons she has a Gmail addiction) and secondly, because she's been teasing him all night, running her fingers, especially her ring finger, through his arm, chest and neck, kissing him slowly, running her tongue over his lips, well, teasing him more and more as the night went on.
Tsukishima dried his hands and turned around, pulling (Y/N) flush against his chest, cupping her face as he slowly leans down to brush their lips together, hands around her hips, massaging the eposed skin between her sweatshirt and her soft pajama bottoms. Without a second though, (Y/N) pulls away, taking his arm, leading him upstairs. As soon as she reaches the bedroom door, she opens it, pulling Tsukishima by his T-shirt to get him inside.
As their kisses grow deeper which every passing second, the man quickly takes off his glasses and T-shirt, leaving them at one of the bedsides tables before running his hands through (Y/N)'s body, undressing her slowly. First, her sweatshirt, leaving her bare from the waist up.
"God, you're so beautiful."
(Y/N) blushes but doesn't waste a second and takes off her pajama bottoms and underwear, pushing them aside with her foot before siting down at the end of the bed and spreading her legs.
Tsukishima can't help it and his eyes slowly make their way towards her most intimate part and he slowly, gets down on one knee and grabs her leg, kissing her leg and inner thigh, before, after what it seem like an incredible amount of time, delving in like a starved man.
Tsukishima lifted one of (Y/N)'s legs up, placing it atop of his shoulder as he parted her lower lips and started to lap his tongue in her.
He moans out, the vibrations of it sending a shiver all over (Y/N)'s body as she cries out his name, hands making its way towards his blonde hair.
Her breath hitches when Tsukishima makes a slurping sound as if he was tasting the most delicious meal in the world.
Tsukishima, eyes closed at the taste of his fiancée, cups her heat, one of his long fingers pressing against her walls.
"Oh, Kei..." (Y/N) opens her mouth, a loud moan leaving her throat, chest heaving. "Right there, baby. Jesus...."
"Right there, pretty?"
"Uh-huh, please! God, yes."
The combination of his mouth and fingers curling inside her shocks her with a wave of pleasure and she pulls on his hair, a gasp leaving his lips as he looks up at her. He can't believe it. He can't believe that the beautiful woman in front of him, so overcome with plasure, is his, forever. Tsukishima smirks, adding another finger as (Y/N) glances down to look at him as her body goes still, climaxing in a long and wonderful orgasm, moaning a mixture of what it seemed like Tsukishima’s name and several curse words.
Tsukishima looks at her once again, soflty massaging her thigh for a few seconds, letting her relax a little bit before rising to his feet and pushing her into the mattress, laying on top of her as her arms make their way around his neck.
From then, (Y/N) slowly reaches to take off his sweat pants, the sight of him that hard making her mouth water, still feeling a bit hazy from her orgasm. Teasing, she fondles with him for just a few seconds, hand slowly inside his boxers, touching him. Her hand moves up and down as she keeps her eyes on him, Tsukishima's eyes closing due to the feeling of her soft hand and the coldness of her new ring on him.
"I love you."
Tsukishima nearly comes at the sound of that and he inhales sharply, smiling. He can feel her everywhere, her hand moving the way he likes it, her lips moving and kissing along his jaw, neck and lips, the sight of her bare pussy... God, he is in heaven.
She pushes his boxers down, straddling his lap as she slaps his throbbing tip on her clit a few times before alinging it with her entrance, slowly making her way down, the sound of his name leaving her mouth as he fills her up.
"Fuck..." Tsukishima bites his lip as (Y/N) slowly moves her hips slowly, splaying her hands on his chest as she moved up and down, an animalistic look in her eyes as she watches him whimper. Without thinking, she grabs two of his fingers and places them inside her mouth, biting and licking them.
"Jesus, fuck."
"Tell me... Tell me what you want, pretty boy."
"You... So bad."
(Y/N) smiles, leaning down to kiss him slowly, the eye contact between them so suffocating that Tsukishima feels like he is going to explode. The feeling of her body on top, the pressure and warmth of her walls. It's too much. Tsukishima doesn't let her move and he cups her cheeks, sucking on her tongue as they both sigh in pleasure.
"Baby..." Tsukishima grabs her breast. "You're so pretty. You're so pretty when you fuck me."
(Y/N) pants, laughing and her hand wraps itself about his throat, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Yeah?"
He nods, biting his lip.
"You're mine, Kei." (Y/N) hisses, bouncing on top of him with more strength. She was close, so, so so close. "You're mine forever."
"Forever."
(Y/N)'s back arches for just a second and Tsukishima notices her movements are getting sloppy and without even thinking about it, she grabs her by the waist and rocks their hips together, thrusting into her at an alarming pace, bed shaking a bit due to their movements.
"Oh, fuck!" (Y/N) moans, her hands touching his chest, reaching for his shoulder. "Like that, baby. I'm so..."
"I know, me too."
(Y/N) leans down to tug on his earlobes wit her teeth as she growls something not even him can't understand. Tsukishima quivers at the feeling of his cock reaching even deeper and for a moment, he feels like he is seeing stars.
"I'm going to cum, Kei!" Please, please, keep going!"
"Cum with me, baby. Cum with me." His voice becomes deeper as he feels his own orgasm approach him, looking at (Y/N), who had her face on his shoulder, sweat running through her forehead. Tsukishima kisses her slowly, hands moving her hair out of her face. "Fuck, (Y/N), where do you want it?"
"Inside, please." (Y/N) begs, her lips still brushing his. "Please, baby. I need it so bad."
"Yeah?"
"Yes, yes!"
Tsukishima's cock twitches inside of (Y/N), gasps leaving his mouth as he cums inside of her. They both jerk, the feeling of their orgams making them feel dizzy and light-headed.
"Fuck."
"Yeah..."
"That was..."
"So fucking good."
(Y/N) laughs as Tsukishima kisses her cheeks repeatedly, lips swollen from all their kissing.
"If I knew we were gonna fuck this good after proposing, I would have done it at 18."
"Kei!"
Tsukishima laughs loudly and (Y/N) melts, the sight of him like this... So happy and perfect... She hums, hiding her face on his neck for just a second.
"I love you so much."
"Me too."
"No. I don't think you understand." Tsukishima adds. "You really taught me what is like to love and even though I may not be perfect at it, I promise I will love you every single day of my life and even after death."
"Kei..."
"You are my everything, you know that, right?"
"You can't say things like that!"
"Why?"
"Because..." (Y/N) blushes, placing her hands on her face and getting up from the bed. "Because! I'm going to take a shower."
Tsukishima laughs, looking at her as she walks towards the bathroom door, biting his lip.
"Don't look at me like that and come shower with me."
"Yes, (Y/N) Tsukishima."
"Shut up!"
*****
(OP) tsuk113_:
I'M GETTING MARRIED FUCK YES
User 1:
Congratulations! After 20 years of being married, let me give you a piece of adivce: listen to each other. Enjoy the little moments together. I am sure your love is pure.
taglist: @lavanderdreamve @lizzymizzy-blogg @quilyzayaki @uhnanix
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olderthannetfic · 5 months ago
Note
Hi OTNF and everyone,
I am finding that it's harder and harder and harder to get into anything - book, show, movie... most things seem, you know, to just not be doing it for me, be it fanfic or original stuff.
In part, I think, it's a general restlessness and that it's become harder to give anything enough time to get into the stories, the characters, the settings, the narrative voices... I guess you can call it attention deficit on my part, just a need for stories to deliver those sweet, sweet hits quickly, but they're not.
I'm not currently ficcing but I did for years (might again in the future, who knows), and it's made reading, specifically, harder. It's like I've become more aware of what goes on behind the scene, I guess? I feel like I can see the writer giving up on a sentence, skipping a scene because fuck this, trying hard to not repeat a word although it's the only one that fits, etc.
Or maybe it's just the *everything* around us in the world that is weighing on me too much? I could say it's adult life, but then again I have more free time than most (and boy do I need hours of doing nothing to survive the other hours), and no family/partner (all that would put even more pressure on me): what is wrong, to make everything so UGHHH?
I feel like I'm stuck in a rut with a brain moaning feed me, feeeed me, and whatever I try to give it, it spits everything out. (Yes, I've tried hobbies, and nothing sticks there either. I've never really found rewards or satisfaction there, so...)
Decades ago as a kid, I was a voracious reader, although studying literature took the pleasure of it away from me. It took time and discovering fanfic that brought me back to reading, but at the time the internet was starting to be a thing, too, and it can't have helped the attention thing. AFAIK I'm not ADHD but then again, I couldn't get a proper diagnosis (the therapists I saw were either dismissive or just about The Talking, which was pointless for me).
I just wonder how it all disappeared, you know? Sometimes I find something that catches my attention for a while - a book (but I read quite quickly when motivated), a fandom... but it's been a while now, and it's just so frustrating! When is it going to come back? Will it ever? *gulp*
I know that books were escapism when I was a child, and then fandom was escapism, but at the moment I find myself grabbing at air and my empty hands are mocking me. Give me my escapism baaaaack!
So, uh. Anyone here with me?
--
Yes.
I felt like that during part of lockdown. Anhedonia is common in those kinds of circumstances.
Getting your mojo back is certainly possible, but you may need to go see a professional about depression and have some chemical assistance (yes, even if you don't feel sad per se), or you may need to change your lifestyle to one that doesn't have the thing causing you to need eleventy billion hours of downtime.
Aside from serious interventions like that, you can consider a social media detox. Remove every source of doomscrolling and time wasting of that type. When the attention span is zero and nothing brings joy, the tiny and useless hits from finishing a game of solitaire or seeing one more instagram post become very attractive. This is a trap. It will suck what little energy and joy you have and make your muscles flabby for the work of getting into an in-depth book/hobby/experience.
I know the feeling of being able to see how the sausage is made, but... well... first, being in a better mental state will make that matter less, and second, reading prose that is more competent will make that less of an issue. A lot of mainstream tradpub genre fiction is not, in my opinion, very well written these days. Obviously, people are still enjoying it, and that's fine, but if you're noticing writers fumbling around, it might be time to check out some literary fiction or some other category known more for prose quality than anything else.
It's also important to have some structure and some things to look forward to. Even if you feel tired, overwhelmed, and busy, sometimes, the answer is to do more... But it must be things that are distinct and significant and that get you off of the couch, like going to one museum every weekend.
I saw some advice once about this kind of thing that phrased it as "One big adventure; one small adventure."
Every week, you should have those two things to look forward to that matter. Check out a new coffee shop. That could be the small one. Go to an event: a gallery opening, a concert, whatever.
Physical exercise and doing some things that aren't as verbal and conscious thought-involving is important too. Painting is a better hobby for zoning out than writing is. Taking long walks in nature is good for most people.
--
The kind of intense, obsessive love I had for reading as a child and that I sometimes have for fandom requires a lot of attention and some time. It's escapist, but that masks how much work it actually was. It didn't feel like work only because we were in training.
If you've filled your brain and your day up with a thousand petty annoyances or minor and useless attempts to feel something, you won't have the capacity for those deeper things.
Because you are already at a point that's equivalent to a bad sprained ankle, trying to get back to running right now won't work. You have to stay off of the ankle for a bit, then build your strength and stamina back up.
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sightseertrespasser · 7 days ago
Note
"I have a whole other tangent I could elaborate on about Tacnet specifically" Staring at you with big HUGE eyes. I would love to hear the tangent
Alrighty then.
First things first, what is Tacnet?
Sometimes also referred to as a Battle computer, Tacnet is short for Tactical Network and its ostensibly the worlds most demented excel spreadsheet.
In more literal terms, Tacnet is a type of supercomputer.
Supercomputers are incredibly useful pieces of technology. Able to run simulations, predictive algorithms and utilizing real world statistics to essentially speculate the past, present or future. The bottleneck for a regular old supercomputer is that someone has to sit down and manually input all the information necessary for those calculations.
You want to know what kind of gun made that specific bullet hole?
Well first the supercomputer needs the ballistics data off as many kinds of guns as possible, then it needs data on the material that was shot, and it also needs as much information as possible on the bullet hole in question.
You skip out on any of that input and the odds of the supercomputer being correct gets progressively lower.
Problem is, the supercomputer can’t actually think, and therefore can’t estimate how accurate its own calculations are. A computer works in total binary. If it only has the ballistic data for three kinds of guns, it doesn’t matter how much the bullet hole doesn’t match the data sets its been provided, the supercomputer will select whichever of the three matches the hole the most closely.
A computer, no matter how advanced, is incapable of knowing when it doesn’t know something.
But people on the other hand. . .
We turn now to an ambitious young R&D developer many millennia ago.
Once upon a time, this member of Research and Development was on the team responsible for designing new Cold Constructed mechs for Sentinel Prime. And they had a GREAT idea.
“I’ve got it!” They say, unaware of the ominous music rising in the background.
“The great powers of the supercomputer cannot be realized within its current limitations! Its greatest flaws are that it must be stationary, it must be manually fed information and all calculations it does generate must be reviewed by a thinking mech!”
Their coworkers groan. It’s too early in the morning for this shit.
“Therefore!” The mech says, quickly sketching out a box full of smaller boxes that is supposed to be a computer and the miserable approximation of a mech.
“We simply remove the separation, and make the mech itself the data intake for the supercomputer!”
Lightning crashes in the distance, someone tiredly gets the fire extinguisher. Again.
It’s not a hard sales pitch for a totalitarian government to go “Yeah we want super-cops. Here’s the money, make it happen.”
And in a tale as old as capitalism, an untested feature was rolled out with catastrophic consequences.
If you’ve read my tangent on how Crashes work, then you already know about logic cascades.
Tacnet is a supercomputer. A tool. Like any tool, it’s only as good as the person using it, and someone who really doesn’t know what they’re doing is liable to hurts themselves.
So what can Tacnet really do in the hands (or processor) of a master?
Some psychic-type level nonsense. Anyone who’s gotten the hang of their Tacnet, in their own fields of expertise, are able to know exactly what will happen before anyone else.
Let’s compare Smokescreen, Bluestreak and then Prowls Tacnets and how they’re used.
Every Tacnet starts the same, but can be developed and trained to excel at different things.
Smokescreen - Place Your Bets
Smokescreen has trained his to work best for gambling. “Training” can be anything from downloading tables of statistical analysis to personally observing the phenomenon and making notes.
Let’s look at rolling dice. If you rolled a six sided die, any number is equally likely to be rolled. Or 16.67 % odds for each.
So if 3 dice are rolled, then every total value outcome from 3 to 18 must be equal odds as well, right?
Nope! If three six sided dice are rolled, there is a 12.5 % (or 25% if you combine them) chance it’ll be a 10 or 11. And that’s out of sixteen possible outcomes.
So if you know the difference but your opposition doesn’t, then suddenly you have a huge advantage while betting. And this is just the most simplified example I can think of.
If you’ve got the time, statistics are absolutely wild and there’s a mathematical equation for pretty much anything.
All Smokescreen has to do to get good at a game is learn the rules and then plug in the numbers. You know how card counting will get you banned from most casinos? Well Smokescreens worked that out too. Talking to other players (collecting preexisting data points) he can find the average of how much he can win in a night before people get too pissy.
Another thing Smokescreen has going for him (especially over Prowl) is that Smokescreen is much better at reading people. He doesn’t just have statics on the games, but the players.
Mapping out the connections between individuals and taking personal motivations into account, Smokescreen at his peak can not only predict who the winners will be, but he can also predict who will loose on purpose, who will bet the most, who will cheat and who will seek to take their winnings by force.
Experience, experience, experience is the golden ticket.
Also, it’s Smokescreen himself who has to craft the profiles of his victims gambling buddies. Once fleshed out, Tacnet can do wonders mid game, giving Smokescreen room to focus on his social schemes instead.
Luckily, after the burning of Praxus, most people don’t really know what a Tacnet is truly capable of. So Smokescreen looses just often enough to keep folks from realizing that he always knows how every game will play out before they even start.
Bluestreak - Shoot Your Shot
Going in the opposite direction of utility, Bluestreaks Tacnet is all about kinetic calculations.
This fucker is doing the type of math that’s more letters than numbers. Constantly.
Air resistance, velocity, acceleration, gravity, weight, density, temperature, vector, displacement and time.
There’s equations that call for each and every one of those factors, usually in combination.
Your average sniper, even a good one, is usually considering wind speeds, the pull of gravity and the distance from the target when lining up a shot. Bluestreak is taking in all that and then working out the influences of about 15 more factors on top of that. Even before he’s picking where exactly on the target he’s going to hit. Since remember, if he’s got data on not just his own weapons but his enemies defenses, then it really becomes as simple as “would you like them disabled or dead?”
Aim is no longer a question of ability, but an equation to be solved.
Still, physical capabilities does play a part since a steady hand goes a long way towards realizing those calculations.
Tacnet may crunch the numbers, but Bluestreak is the one who has to find all the details relevant to the shot and pick which ones to feed to the machine.
Additionally, Bluestreaks Tacnet in particular has the experimental feature of massively increasing the amount of sensory data he can take in per second, effectively causing him to perceive things in slow motion. This is less something Tacnet is doing, and more a case of Bluestreaks own processor utilizing the bandwidth normally taken up by Tacnet.
Tacnet itself takes a substantial amount of power to run. Normally, it causes problems by siphoning too much power from other systems to do its job (see logic cascade crashes). But Bluestreak has the funny little quirk of somehow doing that in reverse. So when his sense of time dilation becomes maxed out, Tacnet isn’t running the formulas to help him shoot anymore, it’s just Bluestreaks own skills at that point.
Outside of that rare circumstance, Bluestreak is effectively playing with aimbot in real life.
Prowl - Know Your Fate
So we’ve established that Tacnet is powered by mathematical formulas and data collection.
What would happen if someone just, kept going? Kept feeding it? Building up more and more infrastructure for Tacnet to grow around until it has a point of reference for almost anything?
You get an oracle.
Prowl puts the Tactical back into Tacnet. He’s essentially the Jack of all Trades and Master of several of those subjects actually.
Sure, Smokescreen has him beat for behavioral analysis, and Bluestreak is leagues beyond what Prowl can calculate for trajectories. But no one has doubled down on what Tacnet can really do like Prowl has.
You know that (not actually true) statistic about how humans only use 25% of their brains? That’s your average Tacnet user.
Prowl just happens to be insane.
He is constantly taking in new data. He is constantly taking notes, making observations, stripping it down to the raw numbers involved and packing it away into monumental resource centers for Tacnet to refer to.
You ever see someone who’s really good with excel sheets and then see them do some shit you didn’t know excel sheets could even do?
It’s kinda like that.
If you’ve ever read the classic Sherlock Holmes stories, a lot of what makes Sherlock so effective is having such a detailed knowledge of the world around him.
Let’s go back to the bullet hole analysis.
Prowl could look at the bullet hole and tell you after two minutes: “It was this specific Cargo vessel at this time with an illegal weapon.”
From the outside, this looks like a baseless guess. But to Prowl it looks like this:
a) The gun must be a new imported weapon as nothing he currently has on file matches the marking its made in that kind of material.
b) The shooter not only missed their shot, but was shooting downward at an excessive angle. Indicating this was a very large mech firing downward at a much smaller target, likely a mini bot.
c) The shooter can be exactly tracked by looking at the local registry for recent out bound flights, specifically ones with no cargo.
Why? Because the shooter is most likely a transport shuttle. Easy access to imported goods, very large but not a war frame (hence the missed shot) and having failed to kill their victim, would flee town immediately without waiting to take on cargo.
Of those two minutes it took, he spent 1:30 waiting for the flight records to load so he could look up the name of the shuttle.
Scale those skills up to a war room, and Prowl not only knows why an enemy troop is retreating, but where they’re retreating to, what losses they must have taken and whether or not it’ll be worth it to finish the job.
Prowl isn’t smart because he has a Tacnet. Tacnet is OP because Prowl is that smart.
When I write his perspective, Prowl often has an accuracy percentage attached to his calculations. Tacnet isn’t the thing making those estimates. Prowl is the one judging how accurate Tacnets suggestions are.
Dudes just a freak.
—————————
In summary, Tacnet is like if you had every kind of calculator in your pocket and the only limit was how many equations you’ve added on and the amount of information you can feed it.
That last bit is the biggest challenge for Tacnet, as conflicting or flawed data can cause. . . Issues. Aka Logic Cascades. Aka “Why can’t I make it make sense.” Disease.
Let’s just say there’s a reason not many people know what Tacnet is capable of, as a lot of early Praxian Enforcers could be taken out by confusing emotions, plot holes, and particularly well executed magic tricks.
Doesn’t exactly inspire confidence when your new shiny police force can be hospitalized by watching Back to the Future 2.
Being one of the first Cold Constructs built with a Tacnet, Smokescreen figured out how to mostly get around that glitch early on and taught Prowl and Bluestreak how to do the same. In this particular setting, Tacnet is poorly understood and best kept mostly secret for those reasons.
(Bizarrely, between Tacnet and the radar uses of doorwings, Prowl and his brothers would actually be really good at predicting the weather.)
———————————————————————
Bonus bit: Good fucking lord it would absolutely terrifying if you could somehow combine Smokescreen, Prowl and Bluestreaks skills into like a Tacnet hivemind or something.
Though with wing speak, to an outsider that’s probably what it already looks like.
———
The three brothers look at the same bullet hole, silently communicating in a way the local non-Praxian officer couldn’t pick up on.
“Oh yeah, looks like Rotor didn’t like Brick cutting into his half of the dirty money. Slippery little guy but you can find both their hideouts here and here.” Smokescreen, the eldest, pulls up a map for reference.
Prowl is already out the door, Bluestreak is lining up a shot through the window.
“What is he. . ?” The other officer looks from Bluestreak. Then to Prowl, trailing off, “Where is the other one. . ?”
“Oh Prowls off to arrest the shooter.”
“But he’s a grounder, can’t Rotor fly?”
A shot rings out.
“Not anymore!”
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wolfhoundwitch · 10 months ago
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Grounding and Centering
If you haven't already, visit my visualisation lessons for the background info needed for this lesson.
Being able to ground and centre your energy is very useful in meditation and spell work. Using basic visualisation techniques, you can change and manipulate the energy you are putting out, raise your vibration, or bring yourself back to reality after spellwork. Let's go over the specifics and how to do them, but the TLDR is that grounding is connecting to the energy of the universe around you, and centering is aligning this energy with your intention.
Grounding
Grounding can be done before or after spellwork, and it depends on what feels right for you. The idea is to draw neutral energy from the earth and the universe, as the energy within ourselves can often be unstable because of our emotions or other external influences. It can also be used to send excess energy back into the earth, preventing feeling wired or unable to sleep after spellwork. Here are some easy ways to practice grounding.
Visualise tree roots spreading down from your legs, connecting you to the earth, and branches spreading up from your arms into the sky connecting you to the universe. Consider the energy of the universe being drawn into you through these roots and branches.
Consider your energy as running water, perhaps from a tap or a river. To prevent excess energy, visualise this tap being turned off, or the flow of the river being stopped.
When I practice divination or dreamwork, I sometimes visualise my third eye opening before and then closing again after to prevent using this energy constantly.
Eat something or take a shower after spellwork to quickly ground yourself.
You can try standing barefoot in the dirt or even rain as a quick and more literal way to ground.
Centering
Centering involves drawing energy inward before spellwork, allowing us to align this energy with our intention and the mentality needed to carry out magick. It prevents passing thoughts, feelings and distractions from making our energy and spellwork less effective. Where you feel your energy centering is different for everyone - it might be behind your third eye, in your heart, your stomach, or in the palms of your hands. Wherever it may be, the point is to draw this scattered energy inward. Here are some methods.
Visualise your energy fragmented around you, as shattered glass, water droplets, or whatever feels right. Consider drawing this energy towards your centre, as though you are a magnet pulling these fragmented pieces back into a whole.
As you are drawing your energy in, meditate on your intention and the end goal of your spellwork. Or why you are centering your energy - is it to have better control over the existing energy in your body, or to set an intention for the neutral energy drawn in through grounding? The aim is to have a concentration of energy with a specific intention.
Centering can be used for changing your vibration specifically for different kinds of spellwork - where a protection spell would require a different type of energy to that of cursing.
Note: Some people will use these terms interchangeably or to mean one overarching thing, and others will specify whether they mean centering or grounding as I have done here. The two practices are very similar and can overlap, so don't worry about getting them confused. The important thing is to do what feels right for your practice and whatever helps you.
As always, thanks for reading! If you have any questions or suggestions for future lessons, feel free to message or send an ask. Visit my tags for previous lessons!
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