#if you dont understand how bad it is then I suggest you do some fucking research

[pastadoughie]

i dont know how to say it or what to even do at this point

i am in an abusive housing situation. witch isnt really new info nor something i talk about often. i have learned to deal w/ shit on my own overtime, aswell as my situation getting slightly better with my distancing from certain family members. but its still bad.

my mother & my brother are both extremely abusive, my brother is phisically abusive, and my mother is a pedophile. they are the only other familial ties i have aside from my dad, and they obviously arent viable and would be worse for me.

my dad is my best option in terms of family and the only person i live with currently. when hes drunk he can be actively cruel & abusive, regularly threatening sexual abuse via forfeiting custody of me to my mother. but im still semi able to reason with him while he isnt drunk. most the times hes simply neglectful, witch is preferable to the alternative atleast. & can somewhat be manipulated into caring about me, or at the very least signing & agreeing to things if i do all of the other legwork

i have a disability of some sort, i have alot of theories but overall doctors refuse to properly test me. i smoke so, they just blame every single issue i have on that & dont listen to ANY of my concerns. somewhat similar to pots in terms of symtoms. i just call it "the slop", this sortof sludge that clouds all my thoughts and everything i do. when it gets bad i cant move properly, often knocking things over, completely losing my train of thought. it can be really hard to have conversations with me, i spend alot of time being silent, keep repeating the same simple few words, dont really listen properly. i can sometimes spend hours just staring off into space. it gets better when im laying down, but sometimes not even that helps. it takes a certain kind of determination to get literally anything done. witch is really hard given my lack of any kind of support.

if i am not extremely ontop of things, if i cant force myself to do things through the slop, then i end up getting into these sludge spirals. i dont eat. i dont drink. i just lay in bed. you get so dizzy and your mouth gets so dry, and so hungry, and the slop is just unbarable. not even really existing as a person, sleeping 18 hours a day, sort of halfheartedly & extremely badly trying to do basic tasks, like eating or drinking, and then after 4 hours i just. go back to sleep. its unbarable & dehumanizing. & its not like i have anybody that can help me. i explain this to people and then they always make suggestions on how to manage it that requires another person to help, and then they never listen when i say i do not have anybody.

i need to get some kind of treatment and i need to get some kind of testing, but doing so requires so much work so many phone calls so much effort that i HAVE to do on my own, that i just. dont have the energy for. its not that im intellectually or phisically incapable i just, im just always in slop. its just always a barrier i have to work around. and the fact that just. the entire fucking medical system is so rotten to the core w/ incompetance & malice twards queer and disabled people means that its just.. so hard to get anything done at all for treatment.

and beyond the fact i have to get meds, i also really need to work on moving out. while i dont think my dad would realistically kick me out until im 18, as that would require actually doing paperwork. i dont trust him to be nice to me beyond that point.

and incase i need to say this to some sheltered fuck who does not understand this. no i cannot go to dcs. i have dealt with dcs my entire life. dcs is not an organization made to help people. it never HAS been. any good they do is incedental. they are at their core a government organization that is supposed to sound good. they do not help children. my tharapist submitted a dcs report about my brother trying to kill me back in december, and i had a dcs worker come to my door and start defending pedophilia to me. every single encounter i have had with dcs has eaither done nothing or actively been harmful to me in having a dcs worker actively encorage my families various abusive behavior.

in summery, i need some kind of help figuring out a way to. deal with everything. ideally something that would help me with practical stuff like medical paperwork, scedualling appointments, that stuff. ideally focused on & or primarily targeted to queer autists in the 16 to mid 20s range of ages. and also that is within arizona. most of the stuff ive been reccomending is stuff like housing and independant living programs, witch while helpful what im looking for is primarily medical help & that is centered around more chronic issues & disabilities that like, need more testing & such to be diagnosed, and not really in the vein of teaching me how to do appointments & such, i know how. i just. am not super good at functioning in general.

dont dm me saying "oh im always here if u wanna talk!!" thats weird. i dont know you.

[just-null]

How do we feel about Beach wear Noritoshi....

Everyone thinks he'd go covered head to toe wearing those wet suits divers use, but no. Noritoshi isn't the type to want to attract attention to himself when it's not needed, so he'd try to blend in. Emphasis on try.

He's the guy wearing a covering or some shit. I think you'd have to fight him to wear a translucent one. (if you splash him with water, you'll acheive the same effect thoughahahaha) even though it's a beach, he's trying to find an appropriate way to cover up, hes just like that. yes to sunscreen ofc. I can see him in a sun hat, but it's not his.. maybe he took it from one of the girls

HIS HAIR WOULD BE UP BC ITD BE TOO HOT AND THE SUN HAT WOULD HELP HIM FROM GETTING OVERHEATED H.H....H IS FACE WOULD BE FLUSHED BC OF THE HEAT AND. AND. AND.. he's like the beach babe on the shore, soaking up the sun and reading a book or smth. if you splash him with water, i can see him trying to get you back. then boom bam, hes in the water with everyone else.

OH FUCK that's even IF he goes to the beach. it's like seeing God in the flesh, idk man I'd go blind........... hed probably come along when he realizes theres hot people at the beach. he cant have you looking at people in that state, hold on hes going. give him five minutes..!

EXTRA

[untied covering version under the cut. like his booefjehsaf are out aha.]

ahahahahahahahahaa *froths at the mouth*

mf dont even begin to look at me like that

[forsty]

feels like we need to be way more vocal about bullying people who do AI generated stuff

no fucking tolerance for that soulless piece of crap

[yuri-is-online]

ace has the biggest, fattest crush on yuu and it's amazing how he's winning against the rest of the cast. and yes even malleus is losing against ace and i said what i said!

he canonically commuted during winter season when yuu sent an SOS, offered to sleep next to them twice, was the first one to worry about them when everyone vanished in the spectral soiree and had a mini tantrum when they didnt realize how worried he was!! and lastly had the guts to tell malleus to his face, a top 5 magician in the twst universe, that what he did wasn't cool just cause he was worried sick abt yuu (and grim and deuce ig) !!!! Also he was so fucking worried when Yuu went to STYX and him and deuce couldn't contact him?!!

Also spoiler warning if u guys dont want spoilers on his vignette on the japanese event with stitch

Like!! When he thought that gantu's robots were there to attack them and the only one present was him, Yuu and Grim, he told them to run away and get help and he'll slow the robots down until they returned!! He was like "I won't let you pass me!", and he was so embarrassed when he found out it was just floyd and stitch 😭😭

End of spoiler

He's so down bad that it's endearing !! He's the bestest boy and its sad how ppl dont like him much!! (His fucking fault tho he's so mean to deuce, i want to punch him in the face then kiss him)

*want to make it clear that i am not trying to suggest this is cannon. it is my cannon though so it goes on my blog

Thank you for sending me more aceyuu propaganda I need it on my blog and people need to see this. He is winning against Malleus for me too (b ᵔ▽ᵔ)b He is a supportive and caring friend and there is so much there in game to fuel the aceyuu agenda. Honestly his little spats with Deuce are kind of funny to me. Deuce hits back just as hard (he actually has some of the better burns imho) Grim actually roasts Ace pretty good too sometimes, he's really easy to make fun of.

I do understand why people might dislike him, tsun isn't everyone's bag. Hell it isn't usually mine, but I just love how loyal of a guy Ace is. Aceyuu supremacy fr fr

[alicentsgf]

why are people so pressed about how Alicent ends up this season??? Like hotd hasn’t been good since s1 people also criticized everything back then but tbh Alicent from s1 was always headed to where she ends up?? I thought it was common knowledge that her last choice would always going to be duty vs love and s1 stated very well that Rhaenyra is that freedom for Alicent???? I absolutely hated the things they put Alicent through (alicole sex and for what? All of her sons being a dick to her??) her arc this season was badly executed but to blame and think that the writers are catering to rhaenicents? seems a bit stretch when the ship is hated by the majority of the show. We can argue in the journey of how Alicent get to the point she is now but it was clear for the beginning that the head of TG?? She would never be, sometimes I think that thanks to most of the general viewers didn’t understand Alicent as a character the writers thought if we put her in these humiliating scenes the viewers would understand that she is a victim of the patriarchy and the men who surround her, but I guess not even with that the GA and fandom as whole could ever understand her character and honestly im good with it, she’s a walking contradiction and i have read her character like that since the beginning, good riddance tho to the obnoxious people that kept bad talking Olivia for only doing her job (this is not a dig to you but the extended fandom that are attacking Olivia again for her character)

Why are we upset now? Because we dared to hope lmao. And now we're realising theres absolutely no coming back from this (it was already mostly ruined i know).

I think the issue is the choice between duty and love should have been made when she chose her children and grandchildren over viserys wish for rhaenyra to rule. Choosing love didnt have to and shouldnt have meant choosing rhaenyra. Like finally FINALLY she lets herself cast duty aside, because "what is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms", "you never love anything in the world the way you love your first child", "you imbecile (affectionate)", etc etc. That is what works in line with the original story AND the sympathetic sides of alicent we saw with in season 1. Sure motherhood shouldn't define women but this is a story abt a fucking lineage !! What do people expect. Of course its going to be about parents and children.

F&B might have been bare bones, but it at least had a strong political backbone to it thats been completely removed this season. That direction would have offered more oppertunities for alicent to be explored as a multifacted character. The problem is that because they angled this as a story primarily about misogyny rather than a story about the inevitability of the targaryen line imploding, they maybe thought they couldnt do that without making alicent look like an unsympathetic agent of patriarchy. (Most of the audience read her that way anyway so they did a pretty crappy job avoiding it). Rhaenyra represented a certain freedom for alicent in the story, sure, im not against that at all, but for the writers to suggest literally being with Rhaenyra is what alicent needs to do to achieve freedom from duty? To free herself from the shackles or patriarchy?? (🙄) Its so laughable. Alicents little grandson had to have his head sown back on for his funeral and Rhaenyras faction sent the assassin. Her daughter was traumatised. You dont just fucking come back from that. Really we should have known when viserys died how this was gonna go and I think in some ways we did because a big number of us were upset with the misunderstanding then, we just didnt want to believe what this signaled about where they were taking alicent. People are upset now because alicents character has become totally unrectifiable. We just never believed they'd diverge so much from the known plot points of fire and blood.

As for this bit you said:

" I think that thanks to most of the general viewers didn’t understand Alicent as a character the writers thought if we put her in these humiliating scenes the viewers would understand that she is a victim of the patriarchy and the men who surround her, but I guess not even with that the GA and fandom as whole could ever understand her character and honestly im good with it, she’s a walking contradiction and i have read her character like that since the beginning."

I have thought this myself and unfortunately I think you're right. In an effort to make alicent sympathetic they have created the most convoluted character i've ever laid my eyes on. Towards the end of season 1 we were already saying her being so forgiving after driftmark made no sense, but i was compelled enough by her because of olivias performance of that scene with the knife to be willing to wait to see where they took her this season. And its been an exercise in more of the same stupid shit. The issues in season 1 have just been amplified by the realisation that season 2 is just the same thing again and again and again for alicent. Shes just a punching bag and im sure thats in an attempt to get the audience to feel bad for her, because i cant see any other reason for it, but its just so badly written that shes no longer compelling or interesting or likeable really at all. Theres nothing to root for when you dont know who someone is. I have so little to say about her this season and that hurts honestly. Olivias performances deserved much better writing.

[charmedbystars]

you don't get it (e-1610 miles morales)

pairing: e-1610 miles x reader (unrequited)

summary: you try to understand miles, but you cant.

a/n: this is the first time i try writing something so i'm so sorry if it's bad. plz leave suggestions and stuff if ya want! also debating a part 2 but i hate this sooo i don't know yet...

you and miles grew up together. making an oath to stick together for the rest of your lives in the sandbox of a park about two blocks from miles’ apartment. and you guys sure stuck to that oath. from crying about getting sand in each other’s eyes, going through the awkward teenage phase (and miles still going through it), to being accepted into the same school. you guys were inseparable. 

recently, you found out about miles’ secret vigilante identity. you didn’t take it very well and constantly scolded miles about his safety, but you were glad he chose to trust you. 

of course, when it came to trust it came with knowing other stuff too… such as knowing who gwen was. and to make it even better, since you were the only person (other than ganke) that he can go on to talk about her, you became a victim of listening to the constant babble of gwen this and gwen that. you literally didn’t know how much longer you can take it, especially with those feelings of yours bubbling in your stomach. 

of course… how cliché of you to be in love with your best friend of years. plus your best friend being the super oblivious miles did not make it any better. 

anyways going back, you didn’t know how to tell miles that you’re in love with him without ruining your years of friendship or how to just simply ask him to shut the fuck up about gwen without hurting his feelings. you literally didn’t know how he could talk about her for hours without getting tired (although if someone asked you about miles, you would go on for ages, but that’s different) and the number of times you’ve caught him sketching her in his journal has become freaky. 

you love miles but this is just getting tiring. you want things to be how they were. when you guys would sneak up to the roof and talk about the stars or sneak out to do some graffiti. now it’s just cancelled plans, late texts backs, and constant excuses. and that’s how you are now, sitting outside the steps of miles’ apartment waiting for him to arrive with the cakes for his dad’s promotion party. you look down at your phone and open it again to see if he responded.

you: hey miles im outside waiting 4 you

you: dont forget the cakes and stay safe

you: lemme know when you arrive plz

Delivered 

you sighed for the twentieth time, wondering when miles was going to arrive. you just sat outside on the steps to his apartment when about ten minutes later you hear a crash. you stand and squint looking up. 

“y/n! come upstairs so we can enter the rooftop together,” there was miles, head handing outside his window. you nodded your head and headed upstairs to his apartment. you didn’t even bother knocking and simply just barging into his house. walking into his room, you see miles rushing to get his shoes on. 

leaning against the wall, you stared down at miles, “so what was it this time? it better be good enough that you’re late to your own father’s party”

“yes i knowww, i just got caught up doing some stuff. the villian today was super weird though and then i almost lost the cakes, but you know what? none of that matters because i’m here now!” he gave you one of his wide smiles.

you couldn’t stay serious with him when you gave you that smile. you yourself cracked a smile, shaking your head. “okay, noted. crazy day for spiderman, now hurry up and get your shoes on faster because one more minute longer and your mom is gonna freak.”

“well seems like my mom is already freaking,” miles smugly looked at you while standing up, grabbing the cakes and leaving you behind. you grumbled and just followed behind him. 

arriving to the rooftop, you can already see miles’ mom looking around and as if she sensed miles, she quickly walked over to you guys. 

“miles donde estabas? you’re late to your own dad’s party? y/n thank you so much for getting miles here,” miles’ brows furrowed as his mom gave you all the glory for him being there.

“mom what? i got here just fine!” 

“no, thank y/n because i know she’s the responsible one out of the two of you,” you gave miles the same smug look that he gave you earlier and tilted your head a little higher.

“anyways, grab something to eat. miles, ven porque your dad and i want to talk to you for a minute” rio gave her son a look. 

you simply nodded your head and strolled off to make yourself a plate. sitting down on a bench somewhere, you tried to block out and avert your gaze from miles’ parents yelling at him. you felt bad that you couldn’t do anything especially when you know so much about him that others don’t understand. 

about an hour has passed since miles’ scolding and you didn’t want to approach him directly after to save him from embarrassment and allow him to take a few minutes to himself. you assumed that he went to his room and would come back in a couple minutes because you knew he wouldn’t completely miss his dad’s party. 

you engaged in small conversations with miles’ cousins and family members, but after a while they left to go eat or do their own thing. resorting to scrolling through your phone and watching a couple tiktoks when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“mija, quien es esa que esta arriba con miles?” rio tilted her head in the direction where miles was. surprising you completely, miles was on the water tower with gwen laughing and nudging each other. looking and them and snapping your head back to rio who seemed a but agitated with her eyebrows quirked up. 

“uhh.. i think that’s gwanda? one of miles’ friends but she’s usually out of town. miles’ never mentioned her coming though…” you simply shrugged your shoulders. feeling a heavy weight in your stomach, you tried not to look over at them again. 

approaching behind rio was jeff. he had a similar expression as rio, brows furrowed and scratching his head. 

“she looks old enough to vote… and i bet she doesn’t even speak spanish,” rio kept talking about gwen which didn’t help you trying to block out the sinking feeling. jeff crossed his arms and kept looking over at them. 

somehow, rio convinced you and jeff to go up to the water tower and meet gwen. now, you’ve never met gwen but you sure have heard enough about her to know that she’s not a bad person. 

rio was stumbling to get up the tower and introduce herself to gwen. crashing into miles slightly, not caring a bit if she interrupted anything. “hello! i’m miles’ mom,”

“rio! i’ve heard so much about you!” immediately hearing those words come out of gwen’s mouth, you winced. you knew that rio was not about having first name bases with any one of miles’ friends. you glanced over at miles’ expression who seemed a bit worried. 

looking at the interaction was a bit odd and very awkward, especially with you standing next to miles’ parents doing nothing. you didn’t want to make a move to introduce yourself either, you didn’t know if there was anything for you to say really. honestly rio’s jokes weren’t making it any better either. hearing “don’t take him from me.. oh! you can’t cause he’s grounded haha” and “don’t break his heart” coming from rio’s mouth was just making you want to get bitten by a spider so you can turn invisible in that moment. 

gwen trying to escape the moment made up that she needed to get her steps in and go. turning around to give miles a handshake, she glanced over, noticing you in the corner. not wanting to be rude, you just gave a wave. she gave you a small smile until taking off down the stairs. 

once she left, jeff also left to return to the party leaving miles, rio, and you behind. miles ignored both of your presence and leaned against the railing, shoving his face into his hands. you went up to miles and rubbed his back.

“i’m sorry miles,” he glanced over at you and gave a sigh. you looked over you shoulder and looked at rio. she seemed to be thinking. deciding to give miles and his mom a little time to talk, heart to heart, you descended down the stairs. 

looking down at the city below you, millions of thoughts run through your mind. almost all of them being about miles. you wanted to help him, you wanted to be there for him in every way, but you just don’t seem enough. you didn’t know what to do and you don’t want to try to seem understanding when you have absolutely no idea what he’s going through. you just want him to feel at peace with you. there’s nothing you want more in the world than seeing miles happy. although the feeling in your stomach of knowing that miles’ happiness lies with gwen and not with you just made you nauseous, you knew you had to let him go. but, before you let him go… maybe you’ll try. 

seeing miles and his mom done talking, you see miles about to leave. getting a feel of adrenaline through your veins, you ran after him before he managed to take a step down the stairs. 

“miles! where are you going?” you cocked your head to the side.

“i’m going after gwen. there’s something going on and i’m going to follow after her,” he tapped his feet and glanced around as if he’s if a rush. 

“wait, miles what? you’re leaving? do you even know where you’re going?” 

“no, but i know that i’m needed y/n. i gotta go now like i have this feeling.” 

“wait so you’re skipping out on your dad’s celebration for a girl?”

“n- no! there’s something going on and i need to fix it” miles was starting to squirm eager to put on his suit and swing through the city.

“is there gonna be a day where you live for yourself? i understand that you’re spiderman and you help out the people, but you can’t be doing this constantly miles. you’re a highschool student and have so m-” 

“no, you don’t understand! no one understands! but there are people out there who will-”

“c’mon miles, don’t be like that. i know i don’t exactly understand because i was bitten by a spider or anything, but i’m trying to understand through you and being there for you!” the tone in your voice starts getting a bit higher.

“i just learned that there’s a way for me to see other people who are just like me! i need to go!”

“you know what miles? go. i’m trying so hard to be supportive but-”

“well you’re not. i don’t want to escalate this any farther. i’m going… bye y/n” before you could respond miles ran down the stairs leaving you with a lump in your throat. you didn’t want to start anything, you just wanted miles to try to get a piece of normality within his crazy spider life. 

sighing once more, you decided to sit on the ledge and look off into the distance wondering how you were gonna fix it between you two. 

[billshxsband]

can you do 2011 tom and hes your college professor and the reader hates him, she walks into class with a short skirt and he doesnt allow the skirt in class so he takes the reader to detention and hes there and you are the only two there

(have a blessed day :D)

OFC SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY YESTERDAY 😭🙏

Im assuming its smut so im sorry if its not 😔❤️

(P in v, hair pulling, a bit of degrading!!)

————————————————————————

Another day with this annoying teacher, i will admit he may be cute but i do not like him. Every girl is obsessed with him i don’t understand what they see in him..

I decided to wear something kinda showing today, just to piss him off i guess, didnt go as i expected it to..

“Y/n.. that skirt is way too short.” He pointed me out again. “You’ll survive. Whyre you looking anyway?” He immediately looked away, a bit flustered.

“Whatever, i need you to stay after class we have to talk about your grades.” Theres nothing wrong with my grades.. i get As and Bs, Ds at worst but nothing under!?

Eventually class ended and we walked over to my desk, everyone had already left. “Why would you wear that, do you know how distracting that can be for some people?” He asked. “So what? If they fail they fail. They can keep their eyes to themselves and their own work!”

“Wanna keep giving me attitude? I will say it wont end well. I suggest  you stop, now.” Was he trying to scare me? If so it was not working at all. I ignored his warning and rolled my eyes, then he grabbed my face making me look at him. Ok.. was not expecting that ill admit..

“Did i not just tell you to stop? Do i have to punish you?”

“I dont know, do you?” I gave him a small smirk, he sat down in a chair and pulled me onto his lap. “Do i?” He made me look down at him.

It was kinda hot not gonna lie.. he grabbed my hand and placed it onto his crotch. Fuck i didnt know he meant this.. im not complaining tho..

“Wait mr kaul-“ he immediately interrupted me with a kiss, which then turned into a makeout..

Eventually he bent me over the desk. “G’na fuck you dumb.. cant listen then ill teach you.” He pushed my skirt up, moving my panties to the side and unzipping his pants.

“You on the pill?”

“Yes..”

“Perfect.”

He took off his boxers and without a warning rammed his dick into my cunt. “Shit! No warning!?” “I warned you didnt i? I told you it wouldnt be good, now shut the fuck up before someone hears us.”

He started pounding into me, not gentle at all. He grabbed my hips, slightly digging his nails into them. “Fuck.. so tight..” he grabbed my hair, pulling it slightly so he could see my face, i was a moaning mess.

He slapped my ass roughly. “I told you to shut up didnt i!?” “I-i can-t.. t’much.. ugh mmhhh!..”

“You’ll survive.. im almost there.. shit.. g’na cum in this tight little pussy..”

He started rubbing my clit fastly, my legs starting to shake as i came on his cock. He kept thrusting, overstimulating me. “P-please i cant! It hur-rts..!”

He slammed in one more time, coating my insides with his cum. He then pulled out, shoving the cum back in with two fingers, wiping my cunt and his dick with some tissues.

“Now go to your next class. You should listen to me more often if you don’t want that again.”

I nodded.

Well.. looks like i wont be listening any time soon..

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

Cᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛ (Fʀᴀɴᴋɪᴇ Mᴏʀᴀʟᴇs)

ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: Frankie Morales × Transmasc Reader.

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 2,6 k.

𝕊𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: You weren't feeling well, not after the memories resurfaced that night. Luckily for you, Frankie is always willing to support you through your rough times and help you feel better... in more ways than one.

𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: au, angst, mentions of nightmares, mentions of shots being fired, mentions of death, mentions of killing, mentions of anger problems, mentions of scars, fluff, frankies a sweetheart ofc, hesitation when having sex, smut, eating poosay, unprotected piv (dont do this at home), both reader and frankie are switches, rubbing, teasing, similarities with the series "time", not detailed physical descriptions of reader, no use of Y/N (reader is referred to as Lost). (lmk if i missed any).

𝔸/ℕ: STOP RIGHT THERE EVERYONE. this is a small drabble that i guess you can read alone, but if you want to understand the plot i suggest you go read the actual and first fic. im pretty happy with this short thingy, i wanted to do some transmasc reader being taken care of (if you know what i mean) and i think i did good (or so ive been told, tysm @pedritofics for helping me out (˵ ͠ಥ﹏ ͠ಥ˵) check out his fics hes an absolutely FUCKING AMAZING writer, seriously his help was so useful im crying rn ily ted). enjoy <3

𝕡𝕥 𝕚 𝕞𝕪 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟

𝕡𝕥 𝕚𝕚 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

You woke up with a loud gasp. Your chest hurt from breathing as heavily as you were. Your knuckles were white from gripping the bedsheets so forcefully. A shaky sigh left your mouth, then you tried to take a deep breath in an attempt to calm down a little. Moments like those made you grateful that you weren't sharing your cell with another inmate to whom you'd have to explain your nightmares. One less thing for you to worry about.

You weren't able to sleep any more for the night. The adrenalin kept you awake long enough for you to witness the cops knocking on your door a couple of hours later. You sighed again, not wanting to have to start the day like that.

But you remembered him.

You would do it for him.

Soon enough, you were in the dining room, grabbing a tray and looking for a table to sit at in the back. Unsurprisingly, he was already there, eating his own food and scanning around the room to try and spot you. The sight of him searching for you reminded you why being in that prison was not so bad.

You walked up to him, trying to ignore the way the other inmates were looking at you —it seemed like three months was not enough for them to get used to you not being like the rest of them. As soon as he noticed you approaching, he smiled at you as wide and beautifully as always. And like always, it made your heart flutter.

"Hey", he waited until you were sat to take your hand and kiss the back of it. "Mornin', beautiful", he smiled again. You gave him a small, brief smile of your own.

"Hi", you squeezed his hand.

"How'd you sleep?", he stared into your eyes. You could see the concern in his expression. He knew something was wrong. But you tried to shrug it off.

"Good. I'm good".

"Don't lie to me, you know you can't", he shook his head slowly, his eyes not leaving yours. You took a deep breath.

"It's fine, it's nothing, you know how I always get like this", you tried to give him a sincere smile. "I'll sleep better tonight, when I'm exhausted, you'll see", you cleared your throat. "You have to eat".

"You too", he pushed your tray in your direction with a warning look in his eyes. You sensed a hint of something similar to anger, and you could feel your insides burning with another one of your attacks. But you remembered it's him. You couldn't do that to him. So you just swallowed it down and nodded once more before starting to eat.

You spent the rest of the day avoiding him and giving him evasive and short answers every time he asked you if something was wrong. Part of your attitude was due to your lack of sleep. You couldn't lie to him about that, but you tried to keep the rest to yourself. Even if you knew he was there to listen to you, you didn't want want him to have to deal with more of your shit than he already had to.

At least you tried not to make him deal with more of your shit than he already had to, until you inevitably found yourself being alone with him.

You entered the shower stalls to find him already there, naked under the water, with no one else around. For obvious reasons, you preferred to shower as late at night as possible so no one would see you. Not even Frankie, until you randomly came across him.

"Hey", he tried to keep his eyes on yours, despite having his body already responding to the naked sight of you. You quickly wrapped yourself up in your towel, then turned around,ready to leave. But Frankie grabbed your wrist, then waited until you turned back to look at him. "Where're you goin'?".

"I just... thought you might want to shower alone", you looked down at your feet, avoiding eye contact.

"C'mon, you've been tryna stay away from me the whole day", he stared at you with hooded eyes. "What's wrong? And I want the truth this time — you're clearly not fine".

A heavy sigh left your mouth. You looked around the shower stalls, letting your eyes wonder anywhere but his. You tried to gather your thoughts and finally found the words to speak to him. When you did, your eyes found his at last, and you turned around to completely face him.

"I didn't sleep", you started.

"That's obvious. Lookit ya, y'have huge bags under here—", he reached out to trace the black underside of your eyes with his thumb. You gave him a dissatisfied look for how he had interrupted you, and as soon as he saw your expression, he cleared his throat and apologized; "Sorry, keep goin' ".

You sighed again.

"I had a nightmare. A... really nasty one", you looked down at the floor. You could feel your throat closing around your cracking voice, but you tried to swallow it.

"Fuck, hun...", he put a hand on your shoulder and pushed you to sit down with him on one of the benches nearby. You took a shaky deep breath.

"I was... My... He was there, with the baby... And he shot me, and the little thing... I couldn't...", your wide open eyes got lost staring at the floor again as you lost track of your own words. 

Frankie stood still, watching as you mumbled something he couldn't make out. When he saw the tears starting to stream down your cheeks, he wasted no time wrapping his arms around you. You laid your head on his chest, letting small droplets fall from his body to yours as he gently cradled you, hushing you softly and whispering "it's okay" constantly. You hugged him back and let out all the built-up tension inside you. It had been so long since you had cried for the last time, and you felt that the only one who could help you through it was Frankie, but you didn't want to cause him any more trouble than necessary. In the end, he was always the one to coax your feelings out, good or bad, just so you knew you could talk to him and feel safe with him. Although he didn't want to push you too hard, he wanted nothing more than to help you work through your emotional traumas. And you hated to admit that it was working.

You finally pulled away when your tears were completely dry on your face. Then you looked down, unable to look anywhere else. Your fingers squeezed his arm gently to call his attention.

"Frankie...", you said, still not looking him in the eye. Frankie then looked down at where your eyes were fixed, and he noticed his manhood hard against his stomach.

"Oh", he frowned lightly. Then, he laughed. "Sorry, I know you were talking about something serious—", a giggle interrupted his speech; "—but you gotta admit, you walked in on me naked, I couldn't help it", he kept laughing. You just couldn't help your own chuckle from coming out.

"You're just a perverted old man", you shook your head between laughs.

As you both kept giggling at the situation, Frankie reached for his towel and got up to put it around his body. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of his covered hardness, and you immediately got up to grab his wrist to keep him from tying the towel back on his hips. He looked down between you and your hand, his surprise and confusion mirroring yours.

No words were spoken. Frankie let the towel fall to the floor. You got on your tiptoes to kiss him passionately, tongue and all, as he untied your towel from around your body. Your hands grabbed ahold of his strong arms, and you pulled him into one of the shower stalls. His lips slid down your neck, his tongue leaving a wet trail as he kept going downwards. When he finally opened his eyes, he saw the scars going across the underside of your chest. You suddenly felt hyperaware of your own body and tried to cover your scars. Frankie wasted no time taking your hand, entwining his fingers with yours. He kissed your knuckles, then your chest, then your scars. You gasped at the sudden feeling of his lips on your sensitive skin, but you didn't try to push him away. Instead, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and urged him to keep going. He chuckled at your antics, his kisses never stopping.

Before you could wake up from your spell, Frankie was teasing the inside of your thighs with his tongue and teeth. You opened your eyes wide as realization hit you. You hesitantly put your hands on his hair, again not trying to push him away. He looked up at you with hooded, darkened eyes, as if asking for permission. You swallowed, feeling a bit unsure. Even now, you were hesitant to let him explore your body —a body you didn't want.

But he wanted it.

You nodded. Hesitantly, but you nodded. He wasted no time to start exploring your wetness. First he kissed the surrounding skin, then the upper part of the inside, to then finally find your sensitive nub. He started tasting it slowly, being gentle with you at all times, humming at the saltiness of your juices and sending vibrations up your spine, only to start sucking at your most sensitive spot with fervor, almost as if he had forgotten how careful he wanted to be when exploring your body at the beginning. That didn't seem to disappoint you tough, since you even forgot how to formulate correct sentences.

"Oh god... Frankie... Shit shit shit... Fuck yes...", was all you could mumble, your voice slurring your words.

You buried your nails in his scalp, scratching lightly every time he sent a jolt of pleasure through your body. Your hips were moving against his mouth, and your feet were kicking the shower floor and splashing water on both you and Frankie when the pleasure became unbearable. You weren't really aware of the situation anymore. The way he was making you feel better than you had ever felt before clouded your mind with desire. And before you could even warn him, your juices exploded into his mouth like a volcanic eruption. He lapped up your release like it was nothing, as if he had been starving for a long time and only you could provide him with the meal he wanted.

You collapsed on the shower floor, your back laying against the wall behind you. The cold feeling of the tiles made you jump for a moment with how sensitive your body was after the intensity of your climax. A heavy sigh left your lips, then you chuckled lowly.

"Damn... Haven't come so hard in like forever", your voice was hoarse when you spoke. Frankie laughed as well and sat up to wrap his arms around you.

"I aim to please", his lips found the side of your head. "I'm gonna need your help, if you don't mind", he whispered, kissing the top of your head again. You looked up at him with hooded eyes.

"You don't have to ask. I'll help you", you said slowly, your face expressionless despite your darkened eyes.

Frankie then leaned in to kiss you. Softly at first, then he opened his mouth to let your tongue in. Your hands went back to his hair, pulling slightly and eliciting a groan out of his mouth that died inside yours. He grabbed you and gently put you to lay on your back on the floor. You slightly pushed him away to look into his eyes.

"Don't", you whispered breathlessly.

"Don't what?", he asked, his own breath ragged.

"Don't be so careful", your gaze went down to his lips for a split second before going back to his eyes. "Stop being so gentle, I don't like it", your boldness made his heart skip a beat. For a moment, Frankie thought he had fucked up, that you weren't into him like he was into you. Then, you kept talking; "I want it hard", you felt your pupils widening instantly at your own words. So did his own. "Don't you want it hard?", you gave him a seductive look, your hand reaching out to grasp his erection. A sharp sigh left his mouth.

"Fuck yes", he breathed out. A small smirk formed in your lips.

"Then do it", you whispered, your voice just as seductive as your look. Your hand slowly rubbed his dick, until he pushed your hand away and turned you onto your stomach. You gasped once more at the cool feeling of the tiles against your skin. And you gasped louder when you felt him grip your hips to pull them upwards and thrusting roughly inside you.

Your hands retorted on the floor when you found nothing to hold onto. Cries of pleasure came from both of you as you lost yourselves in the intense pleasure of the moment. His thrusts only grew harder, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing in the shower. One of his hands gripped your hips and the other held onto your shoulder to keep you in place. Once again, you lost track of time and space, as if the world had vanished around you two. For a second there, you heard him moan louder than you, and then he spilled himself inside you with no warning, just like you had done not long before.

He tried to keep going, wanting you to reach your peak as well, but overstimulation soon got him and he stopped. You took a moment to catch your breath, then pushed him onto the floor on his back and got on his lap.

"What're ya—?", he was interrupted by your hand on his mouth.

"Shut up", you positioned yourself so your mound would be enveloping his now semi-hard manhood, but not pushing him inside you. "I wanna fuck you", you said breathlessly. His eyes lit up and his cock started to grow hard again as soon as he saw your intentions.

You started moving your hips back and forth, his dick rubbing against your clit as you chased your release. He tried to grab your hips, but you held his hands down against the floor so he couldn't move. That only made his desire burn brighter, and overstimulation soon got to him again.

Before you could think of a sentence to warn him of your release, he spilled his own on his stomach, and you exploded again —even harder than the last time— all over him.

Both of you collapsed on the shower floor without saying a word, the silence being filled with your ragged breaths and leftover moans. Frankie wrapped his arms around you and left feather light strokes on your back. The sudden gentleness compared to how hard he was fucking you just a minute ago made you giggle. You wrapped your arms around him as well. He giggled back, and it made you laugh a bit louder.

"What a way to comfort me", you chuckled, your voice muffled as you nuzzled your face against his neck.

"Well, I wanted to help", he laughed lowly, his own face buried in your hair.

You stayed in place, in silence, for a while longer. Soon enough, the guards outside the shower stalls knocked loudly on the door, urging the both of you to finish. Surprisingly enough, they didn't seem to have heard you doing your things inside the shower stalls.

Neither of you even thought of actually finishing the shower, and just got dressed, grabbed your towels and walked outside.

You were both escorted to your cells without saying a word. Only sharing smiles, giggles and nudging the other playfully whenever one of the guards would tell you to keep your mouths shut. Frankie gave you one last smile and whispered a "goodnight" when he took the turn to his cell. You replied with a smile of your own.

That night, you closed your eyes and fell asleep almost immediately. It was like you'd never had a nightmare before that night, and like you'd never have another one after. Your pains, your rage attacks, your negative emotions, they all went away that night, and seemed like they would never return.

At least most of them, with the exception of the pain in your legs that you tried to ignore the next day, to no avail.

[queerbatboy]

Jegulus drabble, maybe a minific?

Thinking about Biker James Potter... him and Sirius would be really into motorcycles and i can totally see them being besties who post abt their bikes like they're actual ppl.

ALSO besties Remus and Regulus who like to meet at the local cafe that Lily owns and gossip about books and people walking by when James parks outside to grab some coffees and pastries on the way to meet up with Sirius-

Remus and Reg are doing one of their favourite activities which is judging passerby's as potential dating options because Regulus is always whining about being lonely and hating seeing happy couples bc eww 🙄🙄[Remus is just as bad, only less vocal abt it.] When James walks in, Regulus is immediately VERY unsubtle about looking him up and down. Remus is now judging him bc "Mate you cant even see his face."

"Shut up. just the other day you got a glimpse of some guy at the club and have been waxing poetic about him since. i mean, honestly? all you saw was some black curly hair and a leather jacket dude."

"That's different! there was something about him i swear! and his dancing; oh the way he moved was fucking sinful you dont understand-"

"Yeah yeah i get it he looked like an angel who moved like a devil; you've told me a million times in the past 48 hours I swear. -Wait shut up shut up hes taking off the helmet look!"

"Oh? yeah i guess hes good looking, pretty face. not really my type though" Remus looks over to Regulus whose jaw is now hanging open while his eyes look as if they'll fall out of his skull if he strains them any further. "Reg, you're drooling."

"Am not."

"You so are. Go ask him for his number" Remus nudges Regulus, trying to get him to go over to the counter where James was.

"Fuck no. i'm not just going to go over there and talk to him! 'oh hi i've been staring at you since you came in because you're so hot i feel like i'm going to die if you don't look at me' i mean are you kidding?? Remus? rem- NO. nonononono don't you DARE! oh i'm going to fucking kill you."

Remus calls out and waves at James to come over, smiling at him. "Hey, my friend here was wondering what model your bike is, it looks sick."

Regulus is so fucked. Not only is the handsome stranger even hotter now that he's facing them, big brown doe eyes looking at Regulus with curiosity and, maybe, interest? shit. But the gorgeous stranger is looking at him, waiting for him to say something, and Regulus knows absolutely fucking nothing about motorcycles.

should i continue this? definitely not my best writing as its just me getting thoughts out of my head but oh boy does this AU have a chokehold on me. I'm also thinking artist reg for this au, because duh, ofc im projecting onto him. not sure what remus is doing with his life tho... open to suggestions.

Ps. btw in this AU sirius and regulus are still brothers, but they don't talk much and havent really seen eachother in a few years after a big argument about how sirius left him alone with their parents as a teenager etc.

[cringelordofchaos]

Disability + Queer headcanons for some South Park characters i like

(warning: u might not agree w everything i have to say !!! :shocked emoji:)

(also sorry if im inconsistent w some characters pronouns ill probably refer to a character with their canon pronouns in the show and then when i remember trans hcs of said characterr suddenly ill refer to the w different pronouns)

Craig Tucker

- gay (no fucking shit sherlock)

- level 1 autistic, low empathy, difficulties communicating and understanding emotions, yada yada u get the gist

- some form of anxiety? idk probs not to a disordered amount but its there.

Kenny McCormick

- Chronic pain (everywhere)

- Epilepsy

- dude LITERALLY got a seizure from simply playing a video game (in thepokemon episode) this dudes physical health is so bad prolly cuz his constant deaths still leave an impact on him even after he gets revived?

- autism !? (idk im not 100% sure just yet)

- selectively mute

- probably some form of (complex?) PTSD from the constant traumatizing deaths he endures though again like im not sure

- but yyeah ok i just remembered thispost is about disability AND queer hcs so uhm kenny. I like the genderqueer hcs but he could also just be really gnc and i love that for him too. either way likes women a lot and i cant exactly imagine him liking a dude? like idk maybe but nah i dont see it

Tweek Tweak

- im sorry but i personally dont view him as having adhd cuz his parents tell others hes hyperactive bc of it but really its because they keep drugging the fucking eight year old so idk. like idk he could possibly have it but i cant decipher cuz we dont know what tweek would be like if he wasnt drugged and a coffee addict at such a young age. and causes of symptoms matter

- but yeah he def has GAD and panic disorder bc of the drugged coffee

- oh also gay

eric cartman

- NPD (i know hes a really stereotypical and harmful portrayal of it and there should be better representation of it but theres no way he doesnt have it im sorry)

- sexuality and gender are whatever benefits him at the moment

(ok but if ur actually wondering abt my hc hes probably gay)(in extreme denial obviously though)

Butters Stotch

- has some form of disorder related to trauma and if he doesnt hell get one when he grows up because like dudes been through SOME FUCKING SHIT. (and he canonically falls asleep to and wakes up to the sounds of his own screams so like. uhm)

- seems like hes straight? like could be bi though idk. he DID have a crush on princess kenny though? take it as you will lmao

- SHIT i forgot about marjorine. yeah just like w kenny either genderqueer or gnc, love both hcs

- may i suggest aroace butters though

- or no sexuality butters (he doesnt have a sexuality :broke heart:)(dont aks me how that works it jst does)

Stan Marsh

- Major depressive disorder

- literal alcoholic at age 10 thats bound to mess him up for life one way or another

- canonically diagnosed with asperger's syndrome but it was his obvious depression being misdiagnosed

- bi but like only gay for specific chars. but yeah confused abt sexuality

- gender questioning too and its pretty canon as shown in 'the cissy'. though then again stans really empathetic so u could say stans confused feelings of gender identity were just being influenced by cartman and wendy recently telling the school theyre trans. idk WHICH way stans trans though and neither do they

- emo

kyle broflovski

- im gonna hes say asexual cuz of human kite's character chart thingy and also bc why not

- have got zero clue as to what his sexuality is like. im a style shipper (big surprise ik) so u might think i think he likes dudes but idk. ive never seen anyone hc him as aroace before but i think it could fit him. he does seem like he could just be cishet too. or maybe bi? ive also seen gay hcs of him. idk man i think multiple fit depending on how u interpret his character?

-

Tolkien Black

- his roleplay character chart thingy said ther character was gender neutral so im going w that hc

- likes girls (canon as shown in cartman finds love)

Bradly/Bradley (the one from the conversion therapy episode)

- gay (SHOCKER)(BIGASS SURPRISE)(

Timmy

- canon wheelchair user (whats the term again i forgor) and also intellectually disabled (but also there was one point where it was revealed he was actually a genius i think?? so maybe hes not intellectually disabled but rather he lacks the capacity to express or communicate his inner world? idk)

- timmy

thas all i got for now im too lazy to continue but yeah pls dont kill me for these

EDIT 11/JUNE/2024: forgot to say this but also kenny has more physical disabilities than listed and also Cartman is dyslexic in my hc

[narwhalandchill]

anyway on a completely unrelated note (not) wrt prev post and while im on that ajax fanon hater rant energy still.

(Seriously youve been warned. im getting heated)

Just. Im sorry Where the FUCK did the idea that childes constellation has ever "changed" as in. confirmed canon 100% happened. thing. and not just as like. A Normal speculation theory thing whatever like thats not the problem (as much as i dont care for it). but as this Wildly popular widely accepted headcanon for essentially the larger "abyss and trauma whale corrupted and brainwashed my kitten baby pookiemeow and stole his true good celestia approved fate from him at 14" crew whose only "canon" source to my knowledge is basically entirely based on a misreading* of one of his boss drops. fucking come from and why is 4 out of 5 ""theories"" i see about ajax acting like its literally the gospel now and actually hes being torn apart in an inner struggle of trauma and identity between GOOD fate and GOOD destiny when his vision works and BAD fate and BAD destiny when it doesnt because defying celestia and the gods is evil and this does not clash with the themes of gnosticism at all and breaking the shackles of demiurges false divinity and their unjust hold upon humanity is actually just a red herring trust me bro youre not Actually supposed to awaken true divinity within humanity to finally attain freedom for mankind i super pinkie promise uwu

like im just. What. Yes this shit pisses me off but its also just genuinely perplexing and i have. Absolutely no fucking clue HOW its become this widespread. is there a massive fanon ajax fanfic where the constellation changes???? Some fanart comic with 136k likes and 32k retweets on Twitter? where did this COME FROM i dont understand 💀💀💀

*to be very clear. his DEEDS twisting his fate is the concept brought up in the shadow of a warrior item lore. his DEEDS brought on by a will to fight thats been honed over Countless Slaughters. Mind You. literally WHAT deeds and slaughters do you suggest he had accrued at age 14 at the INSTANT he fell into the abyss to his narwhal do you suggest there being???? To be doing some og good fate twisting??? To be ""changing"" his constellation right that instant??? does the abyss or surtalogi or skirk or his narwhal canonically mug ajax' mythical True And Correct constellation at gunpoint 12 seconds into his 5 kilometer fall into the abyss and swap it out for monoceros caeli and dawei told yall this personally???? or can we let this shit rest and agree that the lore of this drop is explicitly About the path hes taken POST ABYSS as a warrior leading him to twist/defy celestias intended destiny for him?????? Leading to him becoming the eye of the storm?? That its a development??? that it began in the abyss right but that isnt some one-off event either????

[single-malt-scotch]

Bdubs' speech patterns & quirks

i made a post a while back about Bdubs' typing habits and ya know what. ill be a little stupid obsessed and unhinged again and do this one. might be useful for fics.

been watching this man from day one and im trying to throw together everything i can in my head. he really hasnt changed that much if we arent considering a shift of humor and energy-- but i will regard it at certain points for clarity of how his speech is handled.

General speech pattern

Through time Bdubs has gained more energy in his voice, and more confidence in how he speaks as a person presenting in his videos. But he still has his quirks, quirks that have remained forever.

biggest one. There is a big habit of stuttering in some sense. Either on the same words with the intended phrase:

Example: "You-- you don't- you don't understand!"

or a phrase that is altered during the stutter:

Example: "Yeah but-- you-- I don't think you get it..."

They aren't the stutters people default to in most cases (no "y-yes" "i th-thought.." etc-- in *some* cases you can throw this in but i suggest the bigger ones and never make it too frequent).

Theyre long and very obviously, and make him take longer to get his words out. sometimes it cuts his train of thought and he stops his sentences, maybe even starts over entirely.

in addition to that, bdubs also cuts words in a way i think most people will- goin', gonna, thinkin' etc. however at times he will enunciate the whole word for effect (plays into his "exaggeration" described below)

With his awkward pacing and stumbling, there are times where he fumbles and might say something in a "weird" way. sometimes, it becomes purposeful! he'll keep doing it when its funny, but you can tell its more of a slip than on purpose at first. there are far too many examples of this, but its obvious that he picked up the funny way of saying 'hermitcraft' on purpose at a certain point, for example. this may be hard to get across in writing however and its not as important.

bdubs loves to exaggerate. personality wise, hes like this obviously. and it plays into how he talks. boisterous is the best word. dont be afraid to go hard on the exclamation points or question marks! "!!" and "??" may describe what you want when you need to imply more of his noise.

Exclamations, regarding swearing

Bdubs doesnt swear anymore, but its worth addressing it, in context to what... replaces it, in a sense. or if youre writing something based in the years when he did swear.

Lets get one thing straight. bdubs does not say fuck. like, even back when he swore. there may have been some very light instances of words slipping (the old video where he completely bleeped out his words may have likely had that) but it is not how he spoke on the regular.

bdubs' most used 'bad' words were "damn", not as often "ass". he used a lot of 'safe' words-- shoot, crap (crapper, directed at someone/thing), frick (fricker, directed at someone/thing), dang ('dang man'), freaking (this is exclaimed very strong when it comes up, as if he was saying "fucking". comment phrase "very freaking funny!")....

these are the most frequent choices. id say bdubs has the capability of more swears, but it would be a last resort/under extreme duress.

Other notable phrases

Some of these fall under 'exclamations' at times, but i wanted to address the phrases he says in response to things, one subject is what people like him say in place of things like "oh god". you can see this in some hermits too, but bdubs does not say "oh (my) god". there is no exclamation of "god" when he needs to say something like this.

some are more or less frequent in the overall timeline, but you will likely hear...

"judas priest!" "oh goodness!" "oh jeez/jeezer!" if there is any phrase regarding god its a sorta "dont use the lord's name in vain" situation. none of the "oh god" stuff.

in terms of other frequent phrases,

"Trying my heart out/off" pops up a lot, and it means that he is trying hard at something whilst also saying he is 'putting his whole heart into it'.

Older/less frequent these days:

the good ol 'pet names'. it is/was never a super frequent thing (that bdubs/etho ooge video was surprisingly frequent...) "sweetheart" is most likely, "baby" but not always in a 'pet name' way, just a casual word to throw out at nothing. might get a "darlin'" in there too. the instance of calling someone specific those things is not super common, but still important to note.

a final notable one is "boy", directed at others in a more like. jokingly stern way. "What are you doin' boy?" a direct aim at a person, perhaps in a (joking) accusatory way at times? (wanted to comment there was an early ooge instance where etho picked it up as well lol). and imo i saw this way more in the early days, less so now.

Conclusion

bdubs has a variety of expressions in his speech. generally very relaxed and sometimes even careless, hes not tryin to focus too hard on every word he speaks. which is only natural! imo i think his personality is what affects this more than anything. hes silly, extroverted, and acts first.

his 'loudness' and stutter is important and it can be hard to express through words. outside of the way you describe the way he tackled talking in fics, seriously dont be afraid to double those punctuation marks imo. definitely dont be afraid of those big 'stutters'!! its probably the most defining part of his voice imo. i hope this is useful and feel free to add on or ask about it!

[cupoftaae]

also could you write one where tae and y/n had a small fight before a party, but they still decide to go, then y/n drinks way too much bc of the fight, and then taehyung takes care of her and they make up the next morning or smth like thatt 😊 I love your writing!🫶🏻

OOO I love me some angst, *rubs hands together*

Thank for the suggestion, and thank you for reading my writing, it means a lot to me anon <3

word count- 2.1k

warnings- alcohol consumption, body image issues, a fight and some yelling/swearing. wicked hangover and mention of vomit.

Enjoy!!

"I dont understand why you are freaking out, y/n. You look fine"

Taehyung sat on the end of your bed while you stood in the bathroom, rambling about yourself. "because, we are already late and im not really in the mood to go to this party. I hate the way I look in this dress, nothing is working out" you exhale, a tear falling down your cheek as you attempt to curl your hair.

Both of you were getting ready to go to Yoongi and his girlfriend's engagement party, something that has been in the works for months and is finally happening.

You knew you were already a half an hour late, which looks bad not only for tae, but you too, considering you and Yoongi's girlfriend, Jihyo, were friends.

"then just stay home" he shrugged, standing to go lean against the doorframe to the bathroom.

"oh yeah just that easy, let me miss my friends party" you sarcastically spoke. "bet you would like that, to go alone because you are so ashamed of me" you went on, spraying hairspray.

Taehyung ran his hands over his face. He loves you, he really does, but its impossible to convince you to see the bright side of things when you got in your head like this.

you slammed down the can of hairspray and stormed out of the bathroom, bumping into taehyung on the way out. "you are being way too dramatic right now, its not a big deal." he sternly spoke, turning his entire body to watch you rummage through your shared closet.

you stood and looked back, "oh okay" you laughed sarcastically. "you are a man, you dont have to think about yourself the way I do" you huff and walk towards the mirror.

"im tired of looking like this, I want to just be able to put something on and feel beautiful for once" you whisper while running your hands over the front of your dress.

"I think you look sexy" taehyung mindlessly shrugged, making you scoff. "God, thats all you think about, huh?" you shot back.

"What? no-"

"lately you've been incredibly invalidating of how I feel and i'm sick of it"

"How the fuck am I invalidating? Im trying to help, Y/N!!"

"no, you arent. you think you are, but you dismiss what I say, every time I fucking open my mouth Taehyung." you yell, grabbing your purse and walking to the door as your boyfriend followed.

"fine then I will just not talk" he mumbled, making you roll your eyes at his childish behavior. "Yeah, you do that. In fact, dont talk to me all night." you mutter and turn to head for the car, leaving taehyung to follow.

He didnt mean to upset you, he really didnt. He just doesnt understand what you couldnt like about yourself. Perhaps there were better ways to approach you regarding this topic, but right now, the priority was at least showing up to the party before yoongi or Jihyo gets upset.

The car ride remained silent the entire time Taehyung drove. You looked out the window and had slapped his hand away the moment he tried to reach out and squeeze your leg lovingly.

He just doesnt get it, he doesnt understand how you feel, and its not like you can talk it out with him because he always shoots back some fucking stupid line thats is supposedly trying to make you "feel better". Its getting old, and the only thing you wanted to do right now was be away from your boyfriend.

-

Once you both had arrived at the party, Taehyung parked the car along the curb with the other guests vehicles. You hopped out the moment the car came to a stop, practically skipping inside and leaving him in the dust. He scoffed and locked the car, getting out and walking in at his own pace.

"Y/N!" Jihyo smiled and ran over once she saw you inside her home.

You pushed through some of the guests and made your way over to your friend, hugging her affectionately. "Hi, congratulations! im sorry Im late" you pout and pull away to see her. "No worries love, is taehyung coming too?" she asks, pulling you into the kitchen.

"mhm...unfortunately" you laugh and grab a cracker off the snack plate. "unfortunately?" Jihyo smiles and nudges you. "yeah. We had a fight before we got here" you whisper to her, eyes darting to see Taehyung walk into the living room with a wide boxy smile as he greeted everyone.

"Ohhh.." she nods, understanding. "Im sorry, hun" she rubs your arm. "its ok, I just need alcohol." you joke, making her laugh as she dragged you into Yoongi's wine room, something he was immensely proud (and pretentious) of.

"I think he wont mind If we use this one" Jihyo spoke, reaching for the top bottle and bringing it back into the kitchen for the both of you.

"Taehyung!!" Yoongi cheered, walking back downstairs to see his friend standing in the living room. He hands him a bottle of beer and hugs him.

"Hyung! Congrats again, you and Jihyo have a very lovely home. Its changed so much since last July when I visited." He smiled, thanking him for the beer as they engaged in conversation. "Thank you, we renovated the kitchen and expanded it, wanna see?" he asked with excitement, tae nodded, following him.

"yeah so then I came home and he just kind of blurted it out, it was really sweet and intimate, I actually preferred it over a public proposal." you watched as your friend refilled your glass, telling you the story of how Yoongi proposed.

"ah, Jihyo thats so sweet" you put your hand over your chest, taking another sip as you lean against the counter. "I hope I get to experience that"

"taehyung is a sweet guy, i have no doubts he will pull out all the stops for you" she smiled

"hm?" taehyung mummers, walking in and hearing his name.

your eyes dart open, mad he had found you. "yoongi!" you walk over and hug him, congratulating him.

"Y/n! its nice to see you again, been way too long" he laughed and patted your back. "do you like the kitchen? he cuts, Taehyung watching as you sip on your wine.

"its lovely!!"

"indeed" taehyung adds on, stepping in front of yoongi to stand behind you.

"hes always talking about his kitchen" Jihyo giggled and walked up to her fiance, hugging him. "well yeah it was a lot of work" he shrugged and laughed

you smile as you watch them both be cute little shits, reluctantly turning when you feel your boyfriends hand tickling your lower back. "what??" you bit, making his hands raise in defense.

"youre still mad?....baby..cmon" he whined, trying to pull you into his embrace but you step back and leave the kitchen, going to have fun with the other guests in the living room.

yoongi pulls away from his soon to be wife and raises his eyebrows, full of questions. "they had a fight" jihyo giggled and patted his chest, walking out of the room as well.

"ah jihyo, wait" Taehyung runs up, whispering

"hm?" she turns

"make sure she doesnt drink too much, please?" he asked with serious eyes, making her nod. "shes a big girl, I think she will be okay but yes, ill keep an eye on her" she smiled

"thank you, shes not usually a drinker but tends to overdo it sometimes when shes angry..."he spoke, laughing a bit at the end.

Jihyo giggled, "gotcha"

he looked over at you hugging your friend and dancing slightly. you looked so beautiful and all he wanted to do was wrap you up in his arms and kiss you, but he couldn't. He needed to apologize for hurting your feelings, but there was no way you would even let him go near you to do so.

He sighed and sat down, accepting another beer as he silently ate chips.

-

"IM A GROWN WOMAN, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!!!!" you slurr-sing as you and your friend Chae sing along to karaoke after having a few drinks.

most of the guests had left, and it was nearing midnight, so the remaining party-goers were you, Taehyung, Chae, namjoon and Jungkook.

Taehyung was ready to tap out. He was exhausted, and didnt think he was going to be here this long. The only reason he still is, is well, you. He sat on the couch between yoongi and jungkook, fighting sleep as he watched you let loose with your friends.

You still hadnt talked to him for the majority of the party, but somewhere deep down he was actually glad to see you happy for the first time today.

Jihyo giggled and ran back downstairs as she watched them sing, sitting next to yoongi. He sternly looked at her, "what did she drink?" he asked, taehyung leaning over to look at jihyo as well.

She smiled and mumbled, "some wine..."

yoongi sat up "what wine?"

"your....wine..."she tried not to giggle as taehyung glared. "I told you to not let her drin-" taehyung was cut off as you ran over and sat on him.

He blushed and lightly placed his hands around you, "you ok?" he asked, "im tired" you yell, meaning to whisper but failing to do so.

"okay baby...you wanna go home? good job singing by the way"

you sat up immediately and crossed your arms. "im supposed to be mad at you" you slurred, turning to walk away but stumbling and almost falling, "be careful!" tae spoke, jumping up.

"Ill be whatever I want!" you bite back.

"i think we are gonna go, im sorry guys" tae spoke, holding you up by your arm.

"nono dont apologize please, its late and you guys stayed long enough" yoongi laughed, "yes go take care of y/n, shes gonna feel that tomorrow im sure"

Tae smiled and picked you up gently, managing to get you into the car outside without a fight.

"we are going home now ok?" he whispers as he drives safely down the street. you dont talk, rather mumble in response to everything. Once you are outside your apartment, he holds you up the stairs as he puts his key into the door.

"uehhhh" you whine and pull away, leaning off the railing and suddenly throwing up. "oh!" tae drops his key and runs over, rubbing your back and pushing your hair out of the way until you were done.

"im never drinking again" you slur and fall against him. "i know baby" he consoles, picking his key up and getting you inside to help clean you up and get into bed.

Once he managed to get you into the bathroom, he carefully put you on top of the counter as he changed you into you pajamas. you remained staring with a mean glare, making him laugh.

"what?" he smiled and put one of his old tshirts over your head and onto your body.

"Im mad at you"

"ok...we can talk about it tomorrow ok?" he sighed and washed your face with a cloth before ushering you into bed. he placed Tylenol and water on the bedside table and got close to you, beginning to talk but realizing you were already asleep.

he smiled and cuddled into you, falling asleep eventually.

-

The next morning, Taehyung was awoken by the sounds of you throwing up in the bathroom. He rushed out of bed to be by your side, knowing how much you hated getting sick.

"you ok, baby?" he whispers, watching you lean back against him on the bathroom floor, groaning.

"I shouldnt have drank so much"

he hums and runs his hand through your hair, kissing your head.

its silent for a moment.

"Im sorry for being such a dick yesterday, it was wrong and I should have been more understanding"

you grab his hand with yours, shaking your head. "its ok, I was also being irrational and mean. you are a good boyfriend, tae" you closed your eyes and breathed deeply, feeling lingering nausea.

"I love you" he spoke

"I love you too" you managed to smile.

"no more fighting?"

"no more fighting" you nodded.

he kissed your hand. "if we ever get into another fight just know I have you singing beyonce at the party on video, blackmail for days"

you whipped around, "no...."

"yes...."

"I will cut your dick off if you do that, watch it, kim" you glare, making him laugh. "now get out, before I puke on you"

[constesplanetarium]

☼⚠︎ Marcus (Yandere! Bartender) x Reader Canons

his small "fic" is down below :)

Right here! Take a look please :)

if ur new here. i suggest reading the oneshot ver. of him to understand the story a bit better. totally not necessary though!!!

Right here!

the story may not fully collide, but its fine :) treat this as the new canon, if you will

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

CONTENT WARNINGS!!!

Mentions of stalking.

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

Both of you knew each other for a long time, but had never sat together to just sit and talk.

You were always busy with other things, including your ever-possessive best friend.

It wasn’t until college that you two had a class together, and decided to team up on a project together, since neither of you knew anyone else.

He hadn’t thought you were anyone special at first. Just someone riding off the work he was doing for the project.

That was the first time. Nothing special.

Then it happened again, later in the semester.

And again.

On the fourth time, he had known you for a little bit of time now, and he thought you were really nice!

He thought you were really, REALLY cute, but of course he wasn’t going to tell you that.

You both talked here and there, but it wasn't anything too crazy.

It wasn’t until you had to demand him to let you do some of the work, that he took an interest in you. Everyone just lets him do all the work, so why did you insist that you do some as well?

In all honesty, you just felt bad, and wanted to do your part. He had gotten you an A on all 3 projects in the past, after all. But he felt like there was something more. You were so sweet, and kind.

Oh wow…

As you turn back to your computer, typing away endlessly, he clenches his fist and looks away, strangely excited.

There was something there after that. Something special.

But he still had to know more.

He started watching you, even when he didn't realize he was doing it himself.

He even started following you to places where you would be, watching you in your "natural environment", as he called it.

Only then, did he get to know how much of a wonderful person you are, both inside and out.

He was hooked in an instant.

It didn’t take long for him to find out your hobbies, where you live, and every part of you, down to the last-minute detail.

Countless nights he was up thinking about you, thinking about how it could be to at least touch you, even once would be enough.

He even started taking your things to keep. His own little collection of you. Pens and pencils you’ve touched, old tests that you did that he stole from the teacher's desk, cups you’ve drank out of…

He had stalked you for months, so he even knew about your annoying best friend, and his habits too.

He couldn’t believe you hung around someone like that. He was so…

Fucking disgusting.

But he was just a small obstacle, really.

Imagine his excitement when you went into the bar that day? You didn’t notice, but his hands were trembling when he saw you outside the window.

He had to take his chance. He wanted you to know him so bad…

Keeping you in the bar after they had already closed was such a good idea, so you two could get to know each other more, one one-on-one.

He made you drink after drink in an attempt to please you, and he was so happy you liked all of it.

After he had dropped you off, he was so happy to have another piece of you. Sort of.

Two cherry stems and pits, that he took from your delicious shirley temples.

He couldn’t wait to get more. So much more of you.

What a dream come true...

ngl i dont like how this turned out but WHATEVER!!!

[youngpettyqueen]

for prompts, might I suggest a number 14 with Julian takin care of Kira, and a ‘it feels worse than it looks—no wait-‘ with Julian being a bad patient?

oh my god I finally fucking finished it.

I am SO SORRY this took so long I got hit with. the most violent writer's block ive had in a HOT minute and this had me fighting for my life. I dont even know how many times I wrote and rewrote this. I went through so many different ideas it was actually ridiculous. at one point I had something finished but it Was Not Good and I dont believe in posting writing I dont like so I scrapped it and started again

I keep waffling on whether or not I like this, but thats entirely because ive spent way too long staring at it. im sure in a few days ill actually really like it, cause I really like the dialogue, which was what I wrote out first. pulling myself out of my perfectionism, I do think I like this, and at the very least im proud of getting it down when it gave me so much trouble

again, im so sorry it took so long, but writer's block is a bitch and ive had a lot going on lately, so I hope you understand <3

for the readers- 14 on the list is "Stop pretending that any of this is ok. It's not." I did adjust that one a bit cause I was having trouble making it flow. but, without further ado, here's what I've got! 

Kira slides down with her back against the wall, grinding her teeth as she clutches at her wounded shoulder. The pain is still hot, the hole burned into her skin practically still smoking. She hisses as her palm makes contact with the sticky, raw flesh, but she still clamps down. 

“Anytime you wanna get over here, Julian!” She calls, her voice strained. 

“Doing my best, Major!” Julian calls from where he is, hunkered down behind some debris as a makeshift shield against the barrage of disruptor fire. 

This is, in eloquent terms, a right fucking mess. Getting into a fight with a bunch of Jem’Hadar soldiers is never a good thing, even when they’re prepared. When they’re not prepared, it’s even worse. And this time, they weren’t prepared. Because there weren’t supposed to be any Jem’Hadar on this planet. This was supposed to be a quick pit stop for the Defiant, replacing some whatsit that O’Brien said was damaged in their last firefight, but then there were Jem’Hadar soldiers and they’ve managed to land themselves in a whole different firefight. 

It really just hasn’t been a great week. 

Kira inches closer to the wall’s edge. Her grip on her phaser isn’t stable, but it’ll have to do. She takes a deep, steadying breath, and then she twists over so that she’s peering out from behind the corner. She spots the Jem’Hadar pinning them down, quick count tells here there’s 3 of them, and she snaps her phaser up to hit them with some fire of her own. The motion pulls at her injured shoulder in a way that makes her want to scream, but she bites down on it. 

Julian, bless him, takes the opportunity to lunge out from behind the debris. He scrambles across the gap, barely dodging the returning fire from the Jem’Hadar, and manages to throw himself down behind the security of the wall. He plasters himself up against the wall beside Kira, right as she ducks back behind cover as the Jem’Hadar’s fire intensifies. 

Kira looks at him. He looks at her. He’s breathing hard and heavy, his hair a mess and dirt and blood staining his face. She musters up a grin to tell him, “You’re late.”

Julian gives her a flat look as he turns to her. “Forgive me, it’s a bit difficult to make house calls in the middle of a battlefield,” He replies, sounding very, very tired. But then his eyes flick to her bloody hand, still clamped over her wounded shoulder, and she watches his expression shift as he clicks back into what’s affectionately referred to as doctor mode, “Let’s see that shoulder, then.” 

Kira moves her hand, letting Julian get a look at the wound. She winces as he pulls aside the burnt fabric, taking a deep breath in through her nose and resisting the reflex to jerk away. “How’s it look?” She asks, mostly just to distract herself. 

“Like it needs more than what I’ve got,” Julian replies, frowning, “The dermal regenerator I have will do for now, but this is deep. I’ll need to immobilize your arm,” He tells her, giving her an apologetic look, “If you move it too much, you’ll risk tearing it open again.”

“Just do what you have to,” Kira tells him, “Won’t be the first time I’ve had to shoot myself out with only one arm.” 

Julian nods, and returns his attention to her wound. “Right,” He pulls his kit up and rifles through it for a second. The first thing he pulls out is a hypospray, which he quickly sticks into her neck. Kira relaxes fractionally as the painkillers immediately start to work, dulling some of the burning in her shoulder. Then he’s pulling out the dermal regenerator, and bracing his hand against her shoulder again, “Try to hold still.” He advises.

Kira just gives a tight nod, already gritting her teeth and bracing herself. She feels the dermal regenerator start to work. The hypo helps, but it doesn’t take away that burning, itchy sort of feeling of muscle and nerves and skin stitching itself back together inch by inch. She clenches her fists tight, breathing hard through her nose as Julian works. 

“Sorry, I know this stings,” Julian says, “I’m doing the best I can. This regenerator wasn’t meant for a wound like this.” 

Kira grunts a wordless acknowledgement. If she says anything, it’s just going to be a string of curses. Instead, she focuses on keeping her ear on the sound of disruptor fire, making sure it isn’t getting closer. If the Jem’Hadar decide to come after them, she wants to be ready. 

“Done,” Julian pipes up. She looks over as he puts the regenerator back in his kit, taking the worst of the pain with it and leaving her with a dull ache, “That’s the hard part done. I’m going to move your arm now,” His hands are gentle, taking her arm and carefully easing it away from her side, “There we go. Alright, hold it there, please.” 

Kira does. Julian sits back, and unzips his jacket to get at his undershirt. “This will have to do,” He tells her, tearing a couple of strips from his undershirt, “These won’t be the most comfortable, but they’ll have to do. I’m out of bandages.” He leans back in, starting to bind her arm with the torn fabric.

“Sorry about your shirt.” She cracks weakly.

“I’ll get a new one.” He replies, without so much as a smile.

She hates how flat his voice is. Hates how… unlike him, it is. Quiet, with no bite. “C’mon, Julian, where’s that boyish optimism of yours?” She asks, “I could really use a hit of it right about now.”

Julian secures the bandage around her arm. “I must’ve dropped it when they started shooting at us,” He says, not meeting her eyes, “Do me a favour, Major. Don’t pretend any of this is ok,” He sits back again, still not meeting her eyes, all caught up in taking in his work, “Cause it’s really not.” He does look her in the eye, then. And he looks so… tired.

But then, he’s looked like that for a while, hasn’t he?

Kira gives him a smile. A sad, quiet little smile. “I never said any of this was ok,” She corrects, “I’m just… used to it, at this point.” Very, very used to it. Used to it in a way she hopes he never is. 

Julian considers that for a moment. His expression is hard to read- sad, maybe. Sympathetic. Then he sighs, and breaks eye contact. “Well, I suppose I’m getting used to it, too,” He scrubs a bloody hand through his hair, “We should get going. Can you walk?” He asks.

No time for sentiment, then. Kira nods. “It’s just the arm,” She assures him, “I can do a hell of a lot more than walk.”

“Good,” Julian starts to push himself up to stand, “Let’s-“ He doesn’t get far. He wobbles suddenly, his eyes widening slightly as he nearly topples right over. He barely manages to catch himself, bracing a hand against the wall before he can fall against it.

Kira quickly reaches out to steady him. “Julian?” She sits up, frowning, “What’s wrong?”

Julian frowns, confused. “I… don’t know,” He says, looking down, “I can’t feel my-“ He cuts off, suddenly, his eyes fixing on something, “Ah.”

Kira’s brow furrows. “Ah? What’s-“ She follows his gaze, and comes to the same abrupt halt as she sees just what he’s found, “Ah.” 

Julian has a substantial wound in his thigh. A chunk of his pant leg has been burned away, revealing a raw, painful-looking burn that’s steadily oozing blood down his leg. Kira’s eyes widen at the sight of it. That doesn’t look good. That really doesn’t look good.

“Well,” Julian says, “That’s not ideal.” And then he sways alarmingly, nearly crumpling right to the ground.

“Julian!” Kira lurches forward, manages to catch him by the arms. He grimaces as he eases himself down, taking his weight off his injured leg, “Damnit, Julian, what were you thinking ignoring this? Gimme that tricorder-“ She reaches for his medkit, not waiting for him as she rummages through it herself.

“I wasn’t ignoring it!” He exclaims, “I couldn’t feel it! Honest!” 

Kira finds the tricorder and pulls it out. “Don’t tell me they augmented the ability to feel pain out of you,” He shifts again, adjusting his position to give her a better angle to scan him, and it draws a painful hiss out of him, “Guess not.” She hums.

Julian manages a weak chuckle, the first one she’s gotten out of him all day. “Not as such,” He confirms, “I’ve just been- gah!” He grinds his molars as she pulls the burnt fabric away from the wound, “Preoccupied.” He growls.

Kira huffs softly as she reads the results on the tricorder. It’s not a fun wound. “So busy trying not to get shot that you didn’t realize you got shot?” She asks, arching a brow at him, “I’m almost impressed.”

“Only almost?” Julian asks, all mock indignation, “I’d hate to see what I’d have to do to actually impress you,” He mutters. His eyes drift down, then back up at her. He looks worried, “How bad is it?”

Kira puts the tricorder down. “How bad does it feel?” She dodges. 

“Pfft, this little thing?” He scoffs, gives a weak little wave that’s probably went to ‘wave off’ the pain, “It’s nothing. Just a scratch. It feels worse than it… no. No, wait, that’s not right,” He blinks, and she can almost see the gears in his head turning as he tries to figure out the order of the words, “I don’t mean to alarm you, Major, but I think the shock might be setting in.” He tells her.

Kira can’t help but roll her eyes. “No kidding,” She says, “This isn’t my first time, Julian. Hand me the regenerator, I’ll do what I can with it.” She holds her hand out expectantly.

Julian hands it over. “Now who’s being serious?” He asks.

Kira adjusts how she’s holding him, making sure she’s holding the burnt edges of his uniform away from his skin so that she doesn’t accidentally fuse any fabric to him. “Oh, so you can make jokes,” She takes the dermal regenerator and adjusts her hold on it, making sure it won’t slide out of her hand, which is slick with blood, “I thought you dropped that along with your optimism.” She gets the regenerator going, doing what she can with the wound.

Julian chuckles again, grins at her. “I told you, the shock’s setting in,” He replies, all charm, “I’ll say anything just to say anything. Apologies, but I’m going to be talking your ear off until we get out of here.” He warns.

Kira keeps her eyes on her work, keeps her hand braced on his thigh to hold him still. “As opposed to when you don’t talk my ear off.” She counters. After a few seconds, she can see that the burn’s healed as much as it’s going to. She switches the regenerator off and hands it back to him.

“Rude,” Julian huffs, taking the regenerator and putting it back in his medkit, “How’d the regenerator do? I don’t want to look.” He’s looking even as he says it, like he can’t help himself. 

“It’ll hold,” She tells him, not seeing any point in sugar-coating it. He would see right through her in a second, “For now. I’m gonna bandage it, just in case,” She adds. Now it’s her turn to get at her undershirt, tear it up for strips of fabric, “I liked this shirt, you know.” She informs him as she does.

“I suppose we’re even, then,” Julian cracks weakly, “Have I ever told you you’d make a great medic?” He asks.

There’s the Julian she knows. “Flattery will get you nowhere,” She tells him. Satisfied with her bandages, she gets them ready, “I do have one question for you, Doctor.” 

Julian frowns, confused. Yeah, the shock really has set in if he can’t see what she’s doing. “Go ahead.” He invites.

Kira starts wrapping his leg. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?” She asks.

He looks even more confused. “What are my-“ She yanks the bandages tight before he can finish, and he cuts off with a pitched yelp, “Fuck!”

Maybe it’s a bit mean to chuckle, but Kira can’t help it. She doesn’t often get to hear him curse. “Oh, language,” She tuts as she finishes tying the bandages off, “There. Nice and tight. That oughta hold you together till we get out of here.” She gives his knee a pat. 

Julian pouts at her. “You enjoyed that.” He accuses. 

“I did no such thing,” Kira replies smoothly as she pulls his medkit closer to her and starts rifling through it, not bothering to ask him, “Want a hypo?” She offers.

“No,” Julian shakes his head, making her stop short and give him an incredulous look, “I’ve only got the one left. Save it for someone who needs it.” He reasons. 

Her look quickly flattens. “Don’t start with the heroics, Julian,” She advises, “You’re not gonna be treating any patients until after you’ve been treated. On the Defiant.” She doubts he can even stand on his own, let alone treat people.

“I can hold out till then,” He insists, “Someone else might-“

“Julian,” Kira cuts in, not giving him any room to argue, “Take the fucking hypo.” 

Julian’s brows shoot up and he looks a little stunned. Just for a moment, though, before he huffs a bit of a laugh. “Now who needs to watch their language,” He says, his tone light and teasing, “Alright, go ahead.” He nods.

Kira takes the hypo out of his kit. “Oh, thank you,” She replies, making sure her own tone savours strongly of sarcasm, “You’re a terrible patient, you know that?” 

There’s that grin again. All charm. “So Nurse Jabara keeps telling me.” He replies, like the pain in the ass he is.

“You should listen to her. She’s always right,” Kira sticks the hypo in his neck, and watches his shoulders instantly sink down a notch. She didn’t even realize how tense he was, “Better?” She asks. 

Julian takes a deep breath. Probably the first one he’s taken all day. “…Much,” He admits, with the decency to look a little sheepish, “Thank you, Major.” His smile’s a bit less charm now, a bit more sincere.

Kira finds herself smiling back. “Anytime,” She says. She shoots a quick look around, regaining her bearings a bit now that they’re both taken care of. She can still hear blasters firing, but not as close. They might’ve moved off somewhere else. Or they could be waiting, “We should probably get moving.” She suggests.

“Probably,” Julian agrees, “Just one problem, though. I don’t think I can walk.” He tells her.

Kira figured. “Can you limp?” She asks, “I’ve still got two good shoulders, both perfectly good for leaning on.” She offers, patting her shoulder for emphasis.

There’s that glint in his eye. First time she’s seen it today- stubborn determination, or, in another word, cocky. “I think I can manage that.” He says.

Kira grins. “Great,” She ducks in and gets her arm around his waist, pulling him in snug against her as he wraps his arm around her shoulders, “Alright, lean on me. Steady. And…” She pushes herself up, and brings him with her. He leans heavy into her side, and she tightens her hold on him to keep him steady, “Up we go. Ready?” She asks.

Julian takes a moment to find his balance, shifting most of his weight off of his injured leg and compensating on Kira’s shoulder. “As I can be,” He tells her with a nod, “Let’s go.”

And they’re off. Making quite the sight as they hobble back into the action, pressed hip to hip and clinging tight to each other. But, hey, they’re still kicking, and they’ve still got their phasers, so they’ll make do. They always do. 

[its-no-biggie]

thinking about post-implantation wash again.....

cause like. the rvb writers dropped a lot of balls, but this is the one i find personally the most upsetting. like. a soldier getting irreparably fucked up by an experiment gone wrong is the kind of premise i read fanfiction about (that probably says something about me but im not gonna examine it. moving on). especially since he STAYED with freelancer???? you could take this in so many different directions- his fellow freelancers are worried about him but he pushes through anyway. his fellow freelancers ARENT worried about him and push him harder than he can handle. the director pulls the ai fragments and theres hostility from more than just the one-dimensional "raging bitch" character. the director DOESNT pull the ai fragments, which seriously calls into question the ethics of the whole operation (which i believe is more in line with the pfl that was described in earlier seasons, but thats a story for another time) AND puts potential pressure on wash to get another implantation (oh my GOD. show me THAT version of pfl).

and of couse. how could i possibly forget epsilon. there is something so uniquely tasty about 2 characters who went through something traumatic together and then didnt see each other again until ages later- ESPECIALLY when one of them was the cause, even though they werent directly at fault, and the other was just unlucky enough to be involved. like holy shit????? the TENSION that would cause???? the discomfort being around each other? the guilt? having nowhere to place the blame except the director?? oh my GOD literally any interaction between them couldve had so much FLAVOUR. im not saying they need to be the main focus of the story or anything but we didnt get a single interaction!! not even a crumb!! like. do something with the fact that wash needed to have alpha in his head in season 6 despite refusing to ever have another ai after epsilon. do something with wash needing to SEE and HEAR and TALK TO epsilon again. do something with epsilon remembering fucking exploding in washs head!!!! im not asking for a lot here- asking for a lot would be suggesting a scenario like the one from season 6, except wash needs EPSILON in his head for some reason and gets legitimately triggered by it or cant bring himself to do it. thats the kind of shit i want to see, but i understand that that isnt carolina-centric enough so ill get it from fanfiction as god intended. but cant i ask for at least some awkwardness? maybe an uncomfortable confrontation? irrational hostility? SOMETHING. it doesnt have to be the focus but it should be THERE.

and like. youd think that this is an issue with retconning. and it kind of is, but its more about missed opportunities. like. i dont mind the retcon that freelancer was always its own thing, or that church was always an ai. those things are cool! they take the story in a more interesting direction! yeah it makes things more confusing and id prefer if the retcons werent necessary, but. its not the end of the world. but the thing with wash is. they did a really cool and interesting thing by having an ai COMMIT SUICIDE in his fucking HEAD. and then they went back on it! they very quickly went from "this clearly left a lasting impact on him" to "oh well it was bad, probably worse than hes letting on, but some of it was an act! so he could take em down from the inside!" to "yeah i mean he screamed while it was happening but he was fine when he woke up. no lasting consequences" and then it was never addressed again. and im mad about it!! they didnt even properly retcon it- they just decided that it had no consequences anymore, and it made washs character LESS interesting.