#if you need support

[harry-styles-obsessed]

hi amber! could i request something about harry helping reader through grief? if it's too heavy or triggers you in any way that's completely understandable and you don't have to write it! i just need some comfort right now, i lost my grandpa a month ago and i'm struggling a lot with it and i feel so lonely and like no one cares, so yeah... :(

thank you so much and i hope you're doing well! <3

Hi lovely, thank you for the request! I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is tough but take your time with it okay? It’s hard but I promise it gets better. I hope this brings you some comfort. And please know you are loved and cared for, sending you all the healing energy. All the love, A. xx

The safety of your arms

©️ please do not copy or translate my work.

Harry was a firm believer of the saying grief was love with no where to go. He knew you often overwhelmed yourself with such a thing, it tore him apart, it truly did. But now he was focusing on the fact that your grief was becoming unbearable… you had become more quiet. Less talkative. More emotional and very anxious. He always told you to talk to him and that if you needed him he would be right there, but you were afraid of bothering him but that morning- you awoke feeling worse than ever, the grief was getting to you, it felt like the weight of the world had been pressured upon your shoulders and here you were knees up to your chest as you stared down at the covers on your bed, tears streaming down your cheeks as your breathing grew heavier and heavier. Your chest was very tight and it was becoming increasingly more difficult to breathe

Your lower lip trembled, eyes wide, as your hand soon trembled towards your phone grabbing onto it and immediately calling Harry’s number. You and Harry were a couple but didn’t live together just yet, he had offered to stay with you, but you explained the fact that you needed time to grieve and he accepted that. Soft sobs left your lips your eyes squinting as you struggled to calm down “y/n? Hey… what’s up?” Harrys voice came through the phone, voice croaky and slightly raspy proving he had just woken up “h-harry… I-I need you… I-I cant do this anymore.” You sobbed out and the man’s heart instantly dropped into his stomach “oh y/n” he whispered, “hey… darling I need you to calm down. Breathe okay? I’ll be over in ten.” He spoke keeping the phone up to his ear as he threw on a random T-shirt and some navy blue shorts “Harry I cant do this anymore, I’m so scared… I miss him so much… I don’t know what to do. I miss him” you cried out to him your voice cracking over the phone as your sobs only grew heavier and heavier “I know baby… I know… I’m coming now okay? Keep talking to me sweetheart. You’re going to be okay.”

His words barely got through to you, you felt as if nothing would be okay anymore, and so you didn’t respond you just cried. Seconds turned into minutes and soon enough Harry had walked through the front door, hanging up, as he rushed into your bedroom. Your hair was a mess and your face was covered in tears- dry and new. You clearly hadn’t been taking care of yourself. The sight of you made his heart break. “Harry” you sobbed arms wide open, needing him, and he happily but sadly obliged as he got onto the bed beside you the bed dipping beside you, your arms wrapping around his neck as his arms smoothed around your waist pulling you into his chest- he slowly sat down, back against the headboard as he held you in his embrace- pressing soft kisses to your head as you sobbed into his chest your sobs breaking him, fingers curled into the material of his T-shirt your sobs only growing louder. “Shhh shhh… I’ve got you… I’ve got you… oh baby I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His hand snaked up and down your back slowly and gently as he gently tried to sooth you “shh my love… shh… I’m right here. I’m right here.” Your shoulders jerked with every sob that rocketed throughout you before an anguished scream left your lips, the scream muffled by his T-shirt, it wasn’t necessarily a scream- more so a yell of pure agony. You didn’t know how else to deal with these unbearable emotions and so you were letting these feelings out and Harry was allowing you to do just that,

“Let it all out… good job… you’re doing a good job sweetheart… you are… I’m so sorry baby. So sorry.” He whispered holding onto you tightly your sobs growing louder and louder, you were practically inconsolable, and soon enough you began to panic because you couldn’t suck in your breaths properly- hiccups leaving your lips, your lungs contracting harshly as you squeezed your eyes shut, hands gripping onto his T-shirt “I-I-I can’t breathe- I can’t…” you could though, you just felt as if you couldn’t due to the panic and pure grief you were going through. You needed support. “Hey hey… baby… baby…” his hand caressed against your cheek making you look at him “focus on your breathing… hey… focus… you’re breathing. You’re okay. Listen to me sweetheart… hey…” he looked deeply into your eyes before he gently grabbed your hand placing it down onto his chest allowing you to feel his heart before he began to slowly exaggerate his breathing, attempting to get you to follow his breaths, “I love you so much darling. Love you so much… just breathe okay? I’m here for you.. right here…” your eyes, full of trust and desperation, gazed into his eyes fearfully your grief stricken gaze breaking his heart “I-I’m so scared” you whimpered out and he shushed you gently “I know you are but you’ve got no reason to be scared darling… I promise… I’m here. Right here. Shhh.” He ran his fingers through your hair as he gently and slowly rocked you back and forth in his embrace “I-I- don’t leave me… please.” You whispered out and he shook his head “won’t leave you. Im staying I promise.” His fingernails gently scratched against your back in a soothing manner, before he slowly lifted his hand up to cup against the back of your head, scratching your scalp slowly and gently trying to sooth you, your head coming to rest against his chest as he continued gently scratching your head soothingly your sobs continuing but little by little your sobs slowly began to die down,

“That’s it… good… good.” He soothed quietly as he pressed soft kisses to the top of your head “you’re okay… you’re okay…” he held you close to his chest as you whimpered quietly. “I miss him…” you whispered and he nodded “I know darling. I know. You’re allowed to miss him. You’re allowed to be sad. You’re allowed to cry. You’re allowed to not be okay…” he soothed to you gently as he rubbed up and down your back slowly and gently “let me take care of you… okay? Let me take care of you… you don’t have to do anything anymore… let me look after you, yeah?” And as you nodded weakly he pressed a kiss to your head, soothing you lovingly “I-I feel like no one cares for me Harry… I’m so sad… I don’t know how to do it anymore.” You sniffled weakly and he nodded, trying to show you that he understood you “I understand darling… but listen to me… please. Y/n…” he cupped your face in his hands your chin resting against his chest, eye to eye as he looked deeply into your eyes “you are so loved…” he spoke to you quietly before leaning in, lips pressing against your forehead “so loved… I care for you… you have so many people that care for you. I promise you. You’re so important…” he stroked his thumb against your cheek gently and lovingly “you’re very loved.” He studied your eyes attempting to get it through to you that you were loved. That even if it was difficult you mattered and were very important. He soon fell silent just holding you in his embrace, allowing the silence to wrap around you both as he rocked you back and forth in his embrace staying quiet for a while until eventually he spoke to you quietly,

“Want me to run you a bath?” He asked gently and very softly and you just weakly nodded “yeah? Okay sweetheart.” He murmured gently “please don’t let go of me.” You begged out and he shushed you keeping a hold of you “I won’t my love… I won’t….” He held you close to his chest “bath later…” you whispered and he nodded his head “okay darling… okay… that’s okay.” He murmured softly rubbing up and down your back slowly and gently “if you want to sleep you can… I’ve got you… it’s okay. You’re safe with me.” He pressed multiple kisses to your forehead, arms squeezing around you as he held you close his arms tight and loving around you. “You don’t have to do this by yourself sweetheart… please let me help you, okay?” You nodded snuggling into his embrace and he simply held you, loving on you, pressing soft kisses to your forehead every now and then as you began to rest in his embrace. He hummed a soft tune to you, a random tune, no specific tune just a random one to sooth you and it certainly helped. Your breathing became a lot calmer and now you were half asleep on his chest

“Love you so much” you muttered out gently as he stroked his fingers through your hair “love you just as much. Forever and always.” He murmured softly not daring to let go of you and just like he promised: he took care of you. He pampered you and loved on you as best as he could, whilst also getting you out of the house, buying you flowers and chocolates to try and make you smile again. Your happiness was important to him and he wanted you to be okay… it was tough… it always would be… but grief took its time. And he wanted you to know that you had to let it take its time… it was torturous, and exhausting but soon enough it would become easier. It might take years…. Months… or never… but I promise you… one day it’ll all become a whole lot easier.

Be kind to yourself. You matter. You’ll get through this. As Harry would say: we’ll be alright<3

[allow-me-to-ruin-that-for-you-2]

Pro tip: start taking care of yourself like you would take care of your partner/best friend

Don’t want to make breakfast for yourself? Pretend that your favorite person hasn’t eaten yet today and goddamn it your going to make sure they eat, and then you eat the food.

Don’t want to get dress because you feel like anything you want to wear is too fancy or not fancy enough? WEAR THAT SHIT. Your bestie is either treating you today or you guys are going to stay home and binge Netflix. (Here’s another secret: most people are too insecure about themselves to notice if your clothes don’t exactly match or that there’s grass stains on your jeans. They’re a little busy trying to make sure you don’t hate them.)

If that tactic doesn’t work, then act out of spite. For example:

Bad Voice In Your Head: This is pointless. Who cares about you?

You: Fuck you, I’m going to give it a point and I’m going to care about it.

Having trouble with that? Spam my inbox and I’ll do it for you.

You matter, and if you can’t see that, let me show you.

[blogalreadydoesntexist]

ive been slowing on posting stuff outside of asks or comments on stuff thats happening, this is why.

i am not allowed to talk in depth about it, as i am unaware if people mentioned own this application. i have been avoiding talking about it since i learned due to that issue and what has happened with similar issues of being 'found out' in the past.

if you think you are/you are one of those/are related to those people, please stay the fuck away from me, my mother, and any animal you come across. i dont wish to speak to you ever again, and you clearly dont wish to ever build a relationship with me.

my adoptive fathers dog has been dead since the 1st of july and i didnt learn this until the 5th or 4th, its hard to remember.

i only learned this through my mother telling me, because she was scared that one of my siblings had told me because i said my 9 year old sister 'revealed some information' (we were going to watch nimona and i wanted to make sure that her parents were okay with it due to a gay kiss and clarified with her, she said something along the lines of 'we can watch gays, we cant be gays' shit like that)

i had asked if i could get his collar and it was revealed to me that my adoptive father didnt even take it off the body. nor was there a burial for what had happened. my best friend was left to rot in the woods by the people who abused a sweet, loving dog into biting and fighting to kill as self defense.

my siblings are now terrified to go into the woods because they might find him, and i will never be able to see my best friend again.

they said that 'he always had shown violent behaviours' when that is a blatant lie outside of him killing small rabbits and shit that normal dogs do. he would bite or growl only when your animals were irritating the shit out of him

he was stressed out enough around a tiny puppy who couldnt even move much or open its eyes, what did you think would happen when you force him into small spaces with 21 other animals?

yet again, if you are my adoptive father or his wife, i want you to know that my first words when i learned what you had done was ' i hope they kill themselves'. and i stand by that. i wish me and my mother had the time and patience to have full custody over my siblings. i wish that i was strong enough to say things to your faces, to tell you how fucking disgusting you are. i hope that someday, when my siblings are older, i can finally come out and say this all fully and show the world what fucking horrendous people you are. i wish moose was with us instead of fighting back in his final moments.

i doubt this will ever find you. part of me doesnt want it to. but if it does, i hope that you are plagued by the knowledge that the child you tried so desperately to re-brainwash into coming back will never, never forget what you did.

i hope him and the other dog under your care are in better places now. i hope the other 20 dogs in that house are rehomed.

and i fucking hate you. both of you. i want my best friend back.

[madohomurat]

trans women are everywhere and are so eager to be seen and heard but only if they feel safe around you. if you hardly ever have trans women interacting with you, especially online, then consider there might be a reason for that and you should address it

[dont-read-this-im-dead]

Me: *talking to my 13yo niece about gay guys vs gay girls*

Sister: *walks into the room mid conversation* what?

Me: I'm just teaching her not to gay-shame.

Sister, pointing to 13yo: you...you know she's gay, right?

Me: yes.

[i-am-confused-always]

together

You know, I heard that many times trauma survivors and people who have experienced trauma often want nothing more than to sit in silence with someone who went through the same thing they did. Misery likes company and there is not much that can bring more comfort than being fully understood. My chats are always open for people who need to vent or be distracted from life. I am struggling too and I would like nothing more than to be together with others like me. ❤️‍🩹

[hansoeii]

stede bunnet

[moonsidesong]

don't panic buy games because of the eshop shutdown!!!! the memes are not lying It is genuinely very easy to hack your 3ds!!! please do it!!!!

3ds.hacks.guide

(don't follow video guides they are very often outdated and it's easier to make mistakes that way. this guide is very detailed with step by step instructions and they even have a support server in the event you have any trouble! i understand it might seem intimidating but risks of bricking or banning are very minimal at this point you will be glad you did it)

[girlfictions]

thinking about this poem by noor hindi today.

(donate to palestine here)

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[thebibliosphere]

Whenever I talk about the medical neglect and ableism I've encountered as a victim of the healthcare system, there's always some cockwaffle who feels entitled to come into my inbox and make the argument of "not all doctors" while talking about how "people like them" (because it's always someone in a field of medicine who does this) are doing their best and it's really hard because so many people fake being ill to get on welfare (Yikes), but like, yeah, obviously #not all doctors, because if all doctors were negligent, bullying scum bags, I'd be dead.

But here's the thing: while I truly believe that the majority of doctors are doing their best in a system stacked against them and their patients, their presence does not negate the mass harm caused by the bad ones. And there are far more bad ones than you realize.

Fuck, John Oliver literally did a segment on this last week:

Yes, the truly bad, malicious doctors are in the minority. Most are just horrifically burned out and fighting a losing battle against a system, killing both them and their patients through a lack of funding and resources and profound overwork.

But the malicious ones do exist, and they will go out of their way to harm patients who don't kowtow to them.

I almost lost my life because when I was in my early twenties, I told a doctor I didn't think she was listening to me, and I disagreed with her assessment of my mental health (she was not a mental health doctor, and I was there for heart palpitations and chronic pain). She retaliated by putting "non-compliant" in my file.

There was also a fun little "doesn't show respect" note too that lives rent-free in my head because I know I wasn't rude. I was polite. I just didn't agree with her, and my refusal to accept her off-handed comment that "you probably have bipolar or BPD" (again, I was there for heart palpitations and chronic pain) meant I was "refusing care."

I wasn't. I just refused to be slapped with a mood/personality disorder when I was there because I kept fucking fainting when I stood up.

(Spoiler alert: it was dysautonomia)

That "non-compliant" marker followed me around for years. It followed me across an ocean and effectively ensured that any doctor I saw was going to treat me like absolute dogshit because no one wants to help Difficult Patients. It wasn't until I was so undeniably ill, literally on the brink of death, that anyone helped me.

I'm alive because of a good doctor. And all the good ones that came after him because of him.

So, I know they exist. You don't have to tell me that.

But I really fucking need you to acknowledge the bad ones and that you're part of a system with a long, long history of abusing minorities and vulnerable people. I need you to acknowledge that because it's the only way we're going to survive this godforsaken nightmare and make things better.

So yeah, #notalldoctors, but if you feel the need to say that because someone talking about being literally left to die by the medical system hurts your feelings, I'm going to have to ask you to take a step back and ask yourself if you're going into medicine for the right reasons.

Namely: do you want to help people, even the "difficult" ones?

Even the ones who might disagree with you?

Even if they're on welfare?

Even if they'll never get "better" in a way that means "cured"?

Just a thought. But hey, what do I know. I'm just someone who experienced hemolytic anemia because doctors kept telling me I was anxious and needed to exercise more 🤷‍♀️.

[vyhonella]

family 🦈🐈‍⬛🐶

[paularoseauthor]

How Should Christians View Mental Illness in Themselves?

Coping with Mental Illness as a Christian Some Christian communities may understand mental illness as the result of spiritual causes, such as sin, demons, or a lack of faith. Such perceptions will likely influence how Christian individuals view and experience their mental and spiritual health. Not raised a Christian, I found faith in Christ in my early 20s through a dramatic conversion…

[savagegood]

after my friends expressed horror watching professional hockey player nathan mackinnon spray suncreen straight in the face, i'm actually curious...

[bababaka]

Yall need to interact with fanfiction author's more.

So. After the ddos attack on ao3.

I was encouraged to write more comments and make my love known to fanfic writers.

I dont really like commenting. Because im a bit shy and soooo lazy.

Now though. I am writing more comments. And dude. This is so heartwarming. Ya'll need to treat writers better. They are doing the lord's work.

Take for an example, couple of days prior, i was searching for something interesting to read, and found an oneshot quite compelling.

I read it. At the end of it, i was blown away by how good it was. It promised me something and it went beyond my expectations. But then i saw a crime, zero fucking comments!

At that moment, i wasn't feeling up to writing a comment. Because, normally i like to write huge paragraphs. But because im lazy i decided to be brief.

Next day, the author answered that the comment lift their mood for the whole day.

That warmed my heart.

Duuuuuuuude! Write comments! Suport the writers of the fics you like! No need to be something super elaborate. Just give your thoughts. Freak out. Ramble. Ask something. Make theories. Compliment. Make a joke about how you wished to give kudos every chapter but ao3 sucks(not true bby) and won't let you.

Truly. Just. Comment. It can make someone's day. And that is part of the apeal of writing fics. Interacting with people.

Just give love to fanfic writers yall. They deserve this and so much more.

[rubysevens]

anyway in the past week the irish government has voted down two motions which would have condemned the genocide in gaza.

i need everyone to stop lionising ireland as if its not also a european government with strong ties to the us. american weapons pass through shannon airport and will continue to, because yesterday the motion to stop that was voted down 83 to 50.

other governments have done much more but somehow people still act as though ireland is the ultimate palestinian ally and exempt from criticism on its handling of palestine bc it was once colonised, even though that past experience clearly isnt being taken into account by the irish government when creating policy.

i live here i know there’s a lot of public support and sympathy for palestine, which is great, but that isnt reflected in government, and i think ireland should be treated like other countries whose governments have done nothing.