#ik i tend to talk a lot in the tags when i could just post all my thoughts in the regular post but i feel like that clogs it

[lime1991]

in my dsmp canon cdream is like close in age to cwilbur, just slightly younger, so just keep that in mind lol

[azulas-lightning-bolt]

guys I just want you to know that azula is my fav atla character (right above katara/toph/suki can you tell I like girls) but I’m actually going insane about mako right now.

also for the like,, five people who liked my last mako post please please please go look at @/jade-of-mourning’s blog. they’re so cool. they make such super awesome mako posts and his writing is really good and she also posts some stuff on ao3 so like. yeah. I’m obsessed with them.

anyway back to losing my mind over mako,, (a LOT more under the cut)

so okay I’ll admit I’m not typically a fan of angsty male characters (zuko is the exception. he’s too funny to not, and his character and development are really well done) because they all feel like copy-pastes of each other and they’re generally uninteresting.

but mako. mako is the female experience. not sure if I reposted it (as I tend to do with,, everything on here) but I saw a post talking about how what happened to mako’s character (all potential being discarded after romantic plot) is what happens to the vast majority of female characters. and as I’ve probably said at least fifty million times, he’s SO eldest daughter coded. I’m trans (they/he) but I grew up an eldest daughter and he’s like?? literally me??

as I was yapping about in a reblog—I just checked (lol) and it was in fact the post about mako having the female love interest treatment and tags about his eldest daughter syndrome—mako is somewhat made more ‘relatable’ than katara even when sending a similar message for the general audience. I think people should just be less brickheaded and appreciate my wonderful waterbending girl but mako being a guy makes people not immediately put his character into the lens of ‘ugh, dumb feminism’. (which, again, should not happen)

okay so why does this redeem him so much? I said I hate copy-paste angsty backstories meant to exacerbate a character’s edgy mysteriousness and mako is literally batman with a more violent aang for a little brother. he was basically the messiest character on the show, cheated on both his gfs with each other and fucked them up so bad they turned gay for each other (which was funny as hell of the writers by the way. his reaction to them coming out in the comics was GOLD. ik my boy was fighting back tears.) so, logically, I should hate him like 90% of the fandom, right?

well obviously 90% of the fandom HAS NOT WATCHED THE FUCKING SHOW is MISOGYNISTIC or HATES CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

I have. so much to say about this.

for one. did we watch the same show. mako is one of the most selfless, hardworking, and considerate characters, which he shows multiple times—it’s a major point of his character, actually. he’s the protector, the nurturer (*cough* the eldest daughter). down to his backstory, he shielded bolin from the worst bits of the underworld as best he could while still providing. from eight years old, all alone, he provided. that’s honestly what sets mako apart from literally being Batman (lmao) and why I don’t actually mind his backstory. he was put in an impossible situation, and told to figure it out. he was given no reprieve from the extremely traumatic event of watching his parents die by the element he wields, the one that he has to learn on his own to use to protect bolin.

the other thing is that a lot of his actions are selfish in a way. he doesn’t really care much about the street rats in the same position he was once in the beginning. but even that selfishness isn’t in his own interest—it’s selfishness for the sake of bolin’s well being. one thing that really hits me hard is the brothers’ relationships with food while on the streets. I’m going to make another post about that soon because I don’t want to ramble too endlessly on here. it’s really personal because. eldest daughter who grew up poor. yeah.

second, fandom misogyny. this makes like. no sense but I swear I know what I’m talking about. okay so misogyny is about gender right? but let’s step away from the cutout copy idea of gender, like genitals or fem/masc presentation or pronouns. think of gender as a set of inherent preconceptions, ideals, or societal expectations. that’s what it is but specifying that makes more sense. mako is a dude who is referred to with he/him and he looks like a guy but he represents a girl. mako is expected to be nurturing but not overbearing. present but not annoying. a provider, but don’t ask for anything in return. mako can’t cry in front of bolin, it’s not right for a little boy to look up to someone fragile. mako needs to work, but tiredness is not allowed. don’t be overly cheerful, it’s annoying and unfitting, but too much gruffness is just haughty.

did you feel like you were reading the transcript for that scene about how hard it is to be a woman in the barbie movie? good, because that was the intention. mako, to me, represents the idea of a sibling who is forced to also be a parent, whether or not they are the eldest, and often a girl to a boy. it could be because parents are absent or dead or bad at parenting or just foolish and inattentive. mako is hated (aside from that messy ass romance plot) for almost all the same reasons as katara and that just. infuriates me. like I have this one perfect representation that reminds me of my own background (sorry katara ily and you represent my rage) while aligning with my identity and everyone is shitting on it?? fuck mako haters he’s my special boy

last point. have you never heard of character development in your lives. did you not all love Zuko’s redemption arc, and then as soon as a dumb teenager who’s never had romantic relationships fucks up JUST AS BAD AS THE OTHER TWO PEOPLE INVOLVED (sorry korrasami ily but y’all were nasty for not asking to kiss mako) you’re all like ‘unforgivable’?? like he didn’t even have a redemption arc because HE WASNT AN EVIL CHARACTER. he was a poor kid looking for a sense of stability and he fucked up. he felt bad. I don’t think any of them apologized, despite the fact one was needed all around. he grew as a character because he let himself find stability and mature before seeking someone new to use as a life raft who was already sinking themselves. I truly believe that korrasami—had it not occurred at the end of the series—wouldn’t have worked out either.

all of them were unstable and lost and scared for their lives almost constantly. that’s not a healthy place to be in to seek a relationship and they none of them were good for each other until they gave themselves time to step away from romance and heal.

anyway stan mako to not be a bigot (im unwell about him)

[histriothing]

um hi. ik there're a good handful of posts here tht are js ppl asking for help with symptoms they experience and whether it lines up w schizophrenia. weve been trying to figure out whether we have it or not lately. which ik strangers online cant exactly know for sure but i at least want to know whether we r on the right track.

we know for sure we experience psychosis (delusions, namely) and negative symptoms, esp avolition and asociality. others in the system thought we had szpd since they dont think we have [constant/intense] enough psychosis.

i dont rmember when we started experiencing psychosis. teen years i think. weve always been a bit paranoid. trauma didnt help w that lol. anyway. around a year n a half ago our delusions started to get a lot more noticeable and wed have to actively try to double book keep. talked to our psych about some of them and he gave us antipsychotics. we never took them. since we felt we could cope without them fine at the moment and we just didnt want to deal w potential side effects. we alr take so many pills it jst didnt seem worth it. we still have them in case it ever gets to a point where we think well need them tho.

where was i. u,m. right. we just dont know because we dont seem to have episodes the way ppl seem to describe them. we kind of have delusions that never rlly go away n just vary in intensity/noticeability at times. i lost it again. right. sometimes well have delusions that will pop in and never pop back up. or that go away and come back. most of the 'permanent' delusions tend to be identity/species based ones. i also get a lot in connection to parasites. i think i hallucinate more than the others too. at least. i have lots of times where it feels like bugs are crawling on/under/into my skin. ill also hear things. never anything big. if its voices then theyre never distinguishable. these hallucinations kinda come and go. i think. i dont remember. its hard to remember. i think thats all i can say for hallucinations. its difficult. to gauge. i dont know how im supposed to figure it out. i guess i could just talk to a medical professional. i stopped going to therapy early this year bcz it just felt like it wasnt helping. and i havent seen a psychiatrist since late last year. anyway.

i mentioned we have negative symptoms. theyre difficult to deal with. weve also been told we have flat affect. but idk how much that matters to mention here since our other disorders can cause relatively flat affect too. i dont remember the other negative symptoms. i know theres ones i didnt mention. but yea. i dont know if we have disorganized thinking. i dont think its common for us to experience it. but i know we do at times. i think one we tend to do is thought blocking. dont know about the others.

but if anyone has any, advice? i dont know if advice is the right word here. just. if anyone out there is able to lmk if these sound like they might be schizophrenia id appreciate it. or if we might just be psychotic in some other form. ik no one here can diagnose me. id just like some help. im just unsure whether we would have it bcz our symptoms seem really mild compared to what ive seen everyone say in these tags and such. thanks

[redheadbigshoes]

hello… i can’t tell if i’m a bisex with a hyuge preference for women, or a lesb. i’ve had crushes on guys before, but i tend to crush on every male i come across (i went to an all girls school so they were few and far between), plus i only saw these males irl for at MOST 14 days, usually only about 3 days, the rest was online, and i didn’t see them. i’ve been very internalized misogyny and homophobic and always been afraid of/disdainful of lesbians because of falling down the alt right pipeline when i was 10 (out of that now thank gawd). last time i thought i was a lesbian i cried because it made me so upset… but being with a woman long term is sooo much more right than being with a male. this being said, i’ve found a journal entry from when i was 14 detailing how i loved men and how they dress… of course, this was before i got my sex drive (at which time my affection for women became unavoidable), but i do remember feeling very intense admiration writing that. im just… confused. i don’t want to appropriate lesbianism but at the same time i recently had my first kiss with a male (currently a freshman in college), and once i realized he really liked me i just… got so bored. there was nothing wrong with him beyond his pretentiousness and boringness but like. bleh. nothing compared to the girl i like now. i just hate males. sorry, but i do! i cant help it! i’ve had all positive male role models growing up, but i just don’t like to be around most of them long term. but when i am i get obsessed with quite a few them/start “crushing” immediately. what does it all mean ?!?!? im so lost, and afraid of being a lesbian, but disturbed by being a bisexual. it just doesn’t feel right!? but also i am biphobic which complicates everything. argh. ik it doesn’t matter but it does stress me out a little bit (a lot).

Hi. I think you should first question if all those crushes were actually crushes. From what you said it makes sense you (without realizing it) choosing every guy you meet to be your crush, because 1) you were probably taught that girls are supposed to like boys 2) considering you used to go to an all-girls school it also makes sense you immediately trying to find boys you like.

The second question you should ask yourself is: when you think about guys you think you like, whenever you think about them do you feel something positive? Like you feel you could date them, kiss them, perhaps have sex with them? Or maybe you feel a kind of nervousness that doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable? If the answer to all those questions is no, you’re probably mistaking finding men attractive with actual attraction.

I went through the same experience you mentioned about the guy you kissed. Whenever I tried dating men the second they showed interest I’d “lose” that interest.

You should read the bisexual manifesto and see if you relate to the experiences there. Try reading the lesbian masterdoc as well (it’s on my pinned post). I posted some videos of a girl talking about comphet and other lesbian experiences here, to watch the other videos you just have to click on the tag #source: patronsaintoflesbians

[angered-box]

thank you for tagging me @immortal-florist !! making my own post since it became long but here's the link to the original post for the questions since i did skip one or two of them!

1: What idol/unit(s) do you produce? Have you always produced them? Is there a story behind it? Aaaa that’s a hard question, i like all the units so i tend to just produce for all of them? But in like, a list of the higher on the list i’d say uhhhh Eden, Alkaloid, and Valkyrie ig? No story behind them though ehe

2: What's your favorite es song? Aghhhh either Perfectly-Imperfect or Awakening Myth. i have so many faves but it would be a whole list

3: Favorite song that isn't from a unit you produce (ik we're all a little biased) Ryusei Hanabi!!! i always listen to it when i feel sad actually

4: Favorite solo?  OUKA KENRAN SEISHUNKA. SOUMA MY BELOVED CHILD. First solo i ever listened to and it will forever be my fave

5: Favorite ship? Tatsumayo, it’s the one ship that i’ve found myself thinking about a lot

6: Favorite beat map? I loveeee Your Speculation, any beat map that has note spam i tend to enjoy it they’re fun :3

7: Favorite card? Kanatas Hatsuyume Sheep card from ! and Kogas fs2 :)

8: Favorite story? The only one i can remember rn is Preformance since it’s the most recent one i’ve read and remember, very enjoyable though :D

9: If you were to Isekai yourself into ensemble square which idol would you talk to first? In the sense that i would not be anxious to hell and back maybe Kanata, i think i could get along with him.

13: When did you start playing? erm whenever the en server came out is when i started playing. HOWEVER i might have started playing a year prior because of fucking OSU cause i had some of the songs as maps on there. Super funny.

14:Favorite quotes? the entire rooftop scene from ep:link. like just all of it every word.

15: Favorite food (for funzies) Mushroom or potato soup <3

since this is an ask game i'm tagging @misano17 and anyone else who is interested can do this :3

[jinxedpanda4life]

DamiRae Hospital AU?

  No I am not writing one, if I could write well I would though! So here are some HCs for a hospital AU.    If someone decides to write this then I’ll be your first reader. Also I am sort of basing things off of Grey’s Anatomy just a bit and my limited knowledge of the medical field.

- Starts of as 1st year residents, specialties may vary

- The “Titans” are residents and 1st years that show great promise, this doesn’t really play a role its just what people call them behind their backs

- Dr. Kori Anders is a OBGYN (women parts and birth) resident, a year or two away from finishing

- Dr. Richard “Dick” Grayson is is a surgery resident, trained by the hospital owner Bruce Wayne (who is a world renowned surgeon, has awards, etc), specifically general surgery

- Dr. Garfield Logan is pediatrician (kid doctor) res, bonds well with kids, but is considering going back to school to become a vet instead

- Dr. Jaime Reyes is an oncology (cancer doctor), having had cancer as a teen and is now forever trying to rid the world of it, works mostly with kids and teens

- Dr. Jonathan Kent is a physical therapist that works with pain management. Up beat guy and is always trying to brighten his patient’s lives.

- Dr. Damian Wayne is a surgical intern, blood thirsty little thing, hoping to become a neurosurgeon (brain, spine) (or cardiothoracic (heart, lungs) both are competitive)

- Dr. Raven Roth is an anesthesiologist (the drug person that knocks you out) and is starting her surgical internship (she wanted to do more than just help people get high essentially or whatever) has no current preference for any specific surgical field

- Add in characters:

-- Dr. Jason Todd, trauma surgeon (fits too well)

-- Dr. Timothy Drake diagnostician (medical detective basically) 

-- Dr. Donna Troy gynecologist

-- Terra Markov is a nurse (i don’t like Terra but nurses are the actual best)

- Story stuff:

- Damian and Raven meet as they are put under the guidance of the same resident

-Damian has an automatic dislike for Raven because she knows everyone already and is equally, if not much more, knowledgable about surgery, the OR, the ER, protocol, etc  He also thinks she is cold because she rarely shows emotion (pot kettle Damian)

- Raven can always be found in the medical archives researching old cases and studying new ones, Damian stumbles upon her when looking for an old cardiomegaly case (enlarged heart).

- Raven gets along with all of the past ‘Robins’ making her a go to intern

- Garfield can be seen whenever he is not needed trying to flirt with Nurse Markov and often goes to Raven to sulk 

- Damian and Raven are always early to pre-rounds and are typically the first ones there (usually early in the morning, getting there before 500)

- Jon bumps into Damian more often than not and they start becoming friends (Damian is reluctant at first and is still you know Damian about everything), Damian even recommends patients to him 

- Though Damian doesn’t want to really ‘hang out’ with anyone he reluctantly hangs out with the Titans, because of Jon and Dick

            - When in a large group when at a bar, club or whatever Damian tends to stay close to Raven because 1) they actually have things to talk about 2) she isn’t loud

- Raven & Damian are both assigned to a case that is frankly befuddling and have to start spending long nights and early mornings together to figure it out

- Over that period of time they learn things about each other:

-- Raven learns: 

Damian has a dog (Titus) and cat (Alfred) 

He is single (Kori told her) and lives in an apartment close to the hospital

He has lived in various countries

He is trained in multiple martial arts 

He prefers his tea with brown sugar and a slice of lemon 

His eyes are a true emerald color with a ring of gold and flecks scattered within 

He may hide it well but when Raven compliments him he becomes flustered

He speaks to himself in Arabic when he curses, trying to remember something, doesn’t want anyone to know what he is saying

He isn’t always an asshole

When he actually smiles a true and genuine smile, she has heart palpitations

-- Damian learns:

Raven has two tattoos (neither are a bird), a gang tat (she is saving up to get it removed), and a mantra in Azarathian; Azarath Metrion Zinthos

She immigrated from Azarath when she was around 8

Her notes are in Azarathian

She actually feels a lot of emotion and knows how to control them

If she is not reading about a current or past case she is reading any book or file she can get her hands on, he has caught her reading in multiple different languages; Azarathian, English, French, Russian, Arabic, Dutch, Mandarin, (could be more or less)

She lives alone and has a cat, Nevermore, and thanks to Dick he already knew she was single

She likes all tea, no matter how prepared, but prefers the sweetener to be honey

Her hair is black but shines purple, especially under the ER lights

Her eyes are a purple that at first glance look blue, like Elizabeth Taylor, he realizes though her eyes are galaxies on their own 

When she smiles the world actually stops moving, her eyes shine like stars and he never wants the world to start moving again

She always wears a necklace with a gold and ruby ring at all times (it was her mother’s wedding ring)

- When Damian starts having le feelings for Raven he considers actually seeking medical advice as this has never happened to him before

- Raven tries her best to contain her feelings when at work, going so far as one day a month staying home just to scream, cry and feel her feelings

- It does not help that new feelings towards Damian start popping up, especially since he starts bringing her tea and hanging out with her at work

- During the middle of their 2nd year of residency someone holds Raven hostage in the hospital to fix someone that person loves (this person had connections to Trigon and knew who Raven was)

- That was not a fun time for either Damian or Raven; Damian was outside the hospital pacing trying to figure something out with the other Titans trying to calm themselves and him down

- Shots are fired and when all is said and done, Raven gets shot in the abdomen and the hand (she was in ICU for a hot sec)

- Damian seemed to be there every time Raven woke up, he was always checking on her during rounds even though he wasn’t on her case

- Raven did have to have surgery on her hand and in her abdomen (idk where i’m not getting that specific), she hated being, in her words, coddled 

- Even though Raven was right handed (the one that got shot) she learned how to do everything, writing, eating, going to the bathroom, etc. (many of the other residents are impressed since she keeps working on it after her other hand heals)

- Raven’s room also becomes a space for other residents to destress and just vent about their day. She listens and gives advice, all without looking up from whatever she was doing. 

- During this time Raven becomes hooked on Pretty Pretty Pegasus

- Raven’s room is also full of cards, flowers, etc all from fellow staff and some from patients. When she leaves (she spends a couple weeks in thanks to multiple surgeries, recovery, and other minor injuries) all of the gifts litter her apartment, the cards end up in a box by her desk, she presses the flowers, and stuffed animals are donated to children’s shelter (she keeps some that she has grown attached to)

- During this time Damian is more of an ass than usual (people notice and tease him)

- Damian at some points keeps working without breaks/sleep for hours on end. Dick pulls him aside after noticing, scolds and forces him to sleep in one of the on call rooms. (He really wanted him to go home, but Damian wasn’t leaving)

- Once Raven was discharged Damian and Garfield help her back home (clothes + gifts + Raven w/a healing hand/other injuries = need help) the other Titans would have helped but were needed at the hospital

- Garfield leaves after dropping off Raven and Damian (and her stuff) as he is called in on a Peds case (could be fake, may not be) and Raven & Damian spend the rest of the time basically watching terrible movies. (with Nevermore sitting on both of them)

- That is the night Damian realizes that not only does he like Raven, but he like likes her. He starts devising plans on how to get her to date him. 

- All his plans basically are thrown out the window because of one reason or another (he kept overthinking it)(poor guy)

- It is not until their 3rd year of residency that Raven realizes her feelings towards Damian (Have I made it clear she likes him? I can’t remember...)

- She realizes her feelings when she has to crash at his place for a night (because he lives ridiculously close to the hospital, like how expensive is that??) and he tries to make sure that she is as comfortable as possible 

- She never realized how much he cared for her? Like she was always helping him out and there for him but she never realized he reciprocated that care? *Shocker*

- Raven becomes kind of a mess because of all her emotions that she is trying to bottle up. (all the corks are disintegrating and the jar is overflowing)

- Raven is during her Ortho rotation (bone surgeon people, they are cool, ik from experience) that she actually gets a good release for her emotions (setting peoples bones and drilling and hammering in pins is actually therapeutic) 

- Raven thinks that may be the specialty she chooses

- Damian saw her as a mess and could not fathom why she was said mess, he figured it was about a romantic interest after someone made an offhand comment about her love life and she became a blubbering mess (very un-Raven like)

- After all of well *motions with hands* that Raven asks why Damian doesn’t have a s/o or someone

- He says there is only person that he has been meaning to ask out (looks pointedly at Raven)

- All Raven says is “Go for it.”

And that is where my HCs end. Now if anyone who happens upon this post decides to write a Medical AU with any of these please tag me, tell me, message me. 

You do not have to give me credit, I just want to read it. 

This took me a couple of days to write up, so if it is disjointed I apologize. 

If anything needs to be corrected for any reason let me know!

 I hope this fuels some imaginations!

-I may post more HC AU things if they come to mind, we will have to see.

[breadstyx]

Tagged by the incredible @sunny-day-sky and since for once I'm on desktop instead of mobile I'll actually do it. ✌️

1. why did you choose your url?

It's a pun that came to me like 5 years ago and that I found so good that I instantly took the url. I started using it maybe 6 months after that and I'm never going back.

2. any side blogs?

Nah. I'm putting it all in the same pot, making a content stew babeyyy.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

I think we're reaching 10 years in like, less than 6 months.

4. do you have a queue tag?

No, because I've never used and will never use the queue.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

No clue. I think one of my twitter friends had one and I decided to check it out ? I quickly let my Twitter wither as I moved here tho.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I like robots. I like the absurdity of this robot trying to "eat" an admittedly pretty good-looking hamburger. At this point I couldn't see myself switching to smth else now after years.

7. why did you choose your header?

Because it's one of the most satisfying pictures I've ever seen. I love it when stuff is neatly aligned and perfectly regular. I definitely could've done it myself so I felt like it matched my vibe.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

Technically it's the "Kettle that boils your water by lowering the pressure" one — I think it's near 13k. But I'm 50% sure my screenshot tags on that one 100k notes post are the reason people have started using "tags passing peer-review" to talk about adding someone's tags to the main body of a post.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

Technically around 150, but most of them have long left tumblr. I actively talk/interact to like.. maybe 10-20 people on here I'd say? And on top of that there's maybe that number again that I don't actively talk to but feel like I could hit up and start chatting with again.

10. how many followers do you have?

A smidge over 1000. Most of them are inactive and/or bots, even if I block the really obvious ones.

11. how many people do you follow?

Just under 350, but a lot of these have been inactive for years.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

A couple.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

There's huge variations in my tumblr use. These days I tend to come less and less as I'm finding more interesting ways to spend my time and attention, but there are still days here and there where I'm gonna spend a couple of hours on here during the day.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Once or twice. Never too bad, never got in any drama.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

Oh fuck those. I either ignore or reblog from someone higher up in the reblog chain.

16. do you like tag games?

They're pretty fun ! Especially if they're image-based or p lightweight. I actually have a backlog of tag games like this one where you just really can't do them on mobile (and I'm on mobile most of the time) so I'm sorry to anyone that tagged me on smth like this and I never did it.

17. do you like ask games?

I don't reblog them often but I like to send some to ppl when I see those getting reblogged.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

A couple actually !

@queerlynx has that one Neko Atsume as real cats post that's just huge.

@sassypixiestrashcan got that one solarpunk post going, too.

@p0stmarxed is both famous (many good posts, renowned chef and knife owner, milf) and infamous (turn signal discourse, velociraptor sloppy) on here - a fact I know she despises.

@turing-tested of many good takes, even if he's more known for some of his funnier posts.

@asundergrowth for a bunch of things, even if not all of them on this one blog, because they're talented in more ways than I can count.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

If you don't have a slight crush on any of your friends that are on here (and some of your cooler mutuals), you're missing out.

20. tags?

Let's see.. @queerlynx, @jaffre, @elinaline (ik you were already tagged), @p0stmarxed (I don't think I've ever seen you do one of those so I have no idea if you like them or not), @wheatlev, @sassypixiestrashcan, @hatcrufle, @asundergrowth, @cry4judas, @fiul-risipit, @sweetbeansraych, @thatsthenorthstar, @kr1g and @flammedoudoune.

As usual, feel free not to do it if you're not into those.

[literaphobe]

user dreamquackity you have great energy and opinions and i love hearing them! BUT speaking of rsd, it’s kinda Physically Painful to try to start a convo with you via ask and get hit with a ‘Anyway! I had a salad today :)’ or whatever else. like oh!! ouch!! what i wanted to talk about was clearly dumb as hell!! i have been presented as an irrelevant backdrop to your own random thought, ok! i understand you don’t like making separate posts for your thoughts (right? i’m sure you said that once?) but what do you think about maybe trying to respond your asks a little more? of course though it’s your blog!! just thought maybe you hadn’t considered this side of it. really hope this doesn’t come across as mean, i’ll still follow you and enjoy your posts no matter what you choose to do!!

hi i’m really sorry if i ever gave off the impression that i don’t care about your ask if i responded w something irrelevant! when i do stuff like that i tend to try and find short asks that aren’t more than a few words or asks people send me w the intention that i’m gonna use it to talk about some random thought that ran through my mind. sometimes i do accidentally do that w actual asks tho, and usually the thought behind that is ‘oh cool! i have nothing else to add bc this stands fine on it’s own’ or its something old enough that references something i no longer remember that was usually stuff like. i answered an ask asking a question and people answered it by sending an ask that’s like. yeah! but i realize that can definitely come across as rude n i’m really sorry if i made any of you feel like ur ask wasn’t good enough/i didn’t care about what you had to say. in the future if answer an ask n say something irrelevant (the reason why i do this is because i wanna Say something but i don’t think it warrants a Text Post, its strange, ik n i apologize) i’ll write something addressing the ask in any way i can if its something i wouldn’t answer w a long response, and i’ll try not to publish asks that warrant actual responses

i want y’all to know that ur asks are NOT dumb and i loved reading each and every single one of them. i care and i love reading what y’all say. i would publish each one if i could but i don’t wanna lose followers etc etc but not answering doesn’t mean what u said didn’t matter enough to publish and if i published it talking about something else that’s NOT a reflection on the quality of ur ask at all. i have had a Long habit of doing this n to my memory i used to answer asks in the tags when i did n i just. forgot to do this as of recent n i’m really sorry for that once again!! i really love u all and i love the things u have to say :( please keep saying those things u guys have no idea the smiles u put on my face. my anons r god tier n make me laugh a lot n i def don’t deserve u all. please please know that you are valued and wanted and important. i’ll do better from now on!!

[feliciohno]

I'm back but not without a quick psa

Okay ik I do like these little psa bullshits all the time and I am sorry and ik only like maybe 5 people care I'm just the kinda person who feels the need to over explain constantly even though ik I don't have to. Anyways, this is hopefully gonna be a quick thing and done but I just need to talk a little bit about my coming back and some changes to the blog so lets go.

So, I'll be honest, I'm not fully ready to come back. Just being frank but the only reason I'm coming back after about a month is because I wanted to take part in a Chaggie month during may and this is the blog I use for that kinda stuff. But I didn't want to reopen the blog and then just post about Hazbin cause honestly I'd feel bad. I know I say time and time again that this blog isn't JUST Hetalia but I'm not dumb, I know what you guys followed the blog for. And it's not that I blame anyone because where the content isn't only Hetalia it tends to be mostly Hetalia.

If it wasn't for the Chaggie month I probably would have stayed away longer ngl. Don't get me wrong, I do feel much better than I did when I first left. I just still don't feel great. Without getting too much into it, my brain doesn't really do great things sometimes. Whenever something bad happens to me it often will latch those emotions to things in the moment. Sometimes it's stuff like food or a song but a lot of times it's shows and characters and ships. It sucks cause it very often tends to hit special interests the most. There really isn't a special interest I have that I can enjoy without issue except maybe bats. And ik this is typically a trauma response but like? My brain recently has started to do it outside of trauma? Like I'm pretty sure I haven't gone through any trauma recently?? So idk man it's dumb and hates me. Anyways, there's still some characters and ships and stuff for Hetalia that I really can't look at without panicking lmao. But honestly it's okay. I'm kinda use to this kinda stuff by now?

Basically my hiatus was so I could step away from people and just like the show by myself. I blocked tags, I only interacted with the show and drew stuff for it when I felt like I wanted to or could. I only talked about the show with an extremely small select group of friends and even that was on rare occasion. There's a word for what I was trying to do but I can't remember it rn it's like re-something therapy. But whatever so yeah. And honestly? It was working really well. It's still working really well. I feel better than I did before. But like? It's still not great. There's gonna be stuff that still messes me up. This isn't the kinda thing that goes away over night and I knew that going into my hiatus. But! You guys stuck with me (from what I can tell) and I genuinely thank you all for that! So like yeah I am coming back to the blog including Hetalia posting. I'm probably gonna keep the tags blocked though and only look at like certain mutual content and stuff. Just stuff that I know for sure isn't gonna idk set me off (I desperately don't wanna call any of this stuff triggers cause then that's admitting how much they actually emotionally affect me and I'm not even gonna go there lmao).

That's basically it in regards of my hiatus BUT now I gotta talk about some changes to this blog. Nothing huge just two minor things.

The first thing is this blog is now my Problematic Media blog AND my blog to put Gore/N S F W content on. The main reason for this is I got accepted to be an artist on a blog called @/ponydoodles (if you like mlp related content go give it a follow :> ). One of the rules though of being an artist is the main blog you use and that is associated with your mod title can not have any extreme gore or N S F W content on it. Which like, I don't blame them for making that a rule. The mlp fandom has a lot of bad rep cause of older and probably even still modern fans. I have my own opinions on that kinda stuff but that's neither here nor there. So yeah! Any content of mine that is too suggestive or gory will be posted here no matter the source. Please make sure to block any tags of stuff you don't wanna see. And just a quick note, I will not be tagging N S F W content as such because those posts get blocked and it's FUCKING annoying. Instead I will be using the tag NSFT (not safe for tumblr) which from what I've seen is what most people are using these days. As for gore I always do my best to make sure everything is properly tagged with more intense or triggering content.

The last small change to this blog is this- I will no longer be posting about non blog related content on here. Lemme explain a little. I'm sure a lot of you noticed that I tend to make little posts here and there about myself, my life, cartoons just anything on my mind. The problem with this is I ended up almost killing my main blog @hext00ns because I was never fucking using it. And because I never used it for so long I don't get much interaction from people on that blog but I did start to get it here. From there it was a loop. I'd post more on here, causing less attention on my main, causing people to interact more with my side, causing me to want to post more on my side and less on my main. And honestly? It actually made me kinda depressed? In a weird way? It's kinda dumb but Hextoons is like my brand. Being the weird cartoon freak that knows way too much about animation and anything involving it has always and will always be my main and in some cases only personality trait lmao. It's also where I post my original content which is really important to me. So, here's what's gonna happen. I'm only gonna be posting about content that pertains to the sources and content that I use this blog for. Any other content or blogging or whatever will go on my main @hext00ns So like if you liked that kinda stuff or if you like other cartoons, anime, and video game stuff, just god please go follow that account. Genuinely. I promise that blog is full of the same F- bullshit quality all my content tends to be.

And one last thing cause I feel like some people are gonna be curious, yes you can still talk to me about Hetalia and send asks and shit. I still love asks and interactions more than life itself and that hasn't changed. It really is what motivates me to do shit. Comments, tags on reblogs, asks, this kinda stuff puts a fire under my ass to continue and create content that, I assume, you guys like. I'm always open to that kinda stuff on either blog. And where yeah, Hetalia kinda makin' me sad still just a bit, I am better. And honestly? I have the physical ability to just? Not check my notifs for a day or so if I need a short breather or I'm not feeling up to it? Like tech is so amazing how you can exit out of apps and windows like wow guys it's so crazy (/s/j).

So yeah, your fruity little Italian is back from superhell what's up bitches

[gerberbabey]

euphoric | one | JJ Maybank

a/n: this post isn’t showing up in the tags and idk why😔😭

ive linked both the outfit and the makeup look, and will continue to do so in the future. this is mostly bc im not rlly good at being descriptive sorry 😔 . For the aesthetic and looks in particular i might link a lot of Cierra Nia, cus her vibe and fits are very much what i had in mind. (when it comes down to it a lot of the inspiration im going off of is very Kali Uchis, Princess Nokia, and SZA.)

ik that this kinda cuts into the inclusivity (w aesthetics and fashion sense at least, bc i understand that some of these outfits might not be smth other people are comfortable wearing), but even w the concept ill try my best to widen the range of outfits as i go forward

the chad bit is inspired by @yourlocalauthor

also... im lowkey loving Isaiah as a character and i might invest in him more than i planned to lmao. 

summary: You get ready for dinner with the Cameron’s but you meet a certain Pogue instead. 

masterlist | previous | next

warnings : cursing, lack of pogues and action (i gotchu next part tho), also terrible writing

one - ♫ Only in the West by Yeek  ♫

After being told that you would be interacting with people in just a few short hours you’d rushed off to your designated room. Your parents were generous enough to leave name signs on the doors (likely for the movers to put your belongings in the correct rooms) and you tore yours off the front before you slipped into the room, closing the door and locking it behind you. 

You took in the room for a moment. It was already pretty much furnished, just not decorated or arranged in a way that you would like it to be. Everything was just kind of there, from the bed sheets to the vanity that you actually couldn’t really complain about.

Your suitcases had been placed at the foot of the bed and you moved to open the one that contained your makeup. You transferred your makeup products onto the vanity before a buzzing at your waist made you pause. 

“Oh shit,” you pulled your phone from where it was being held against you by the waistband of your shorts. The FaceTime caller ID had “that bitch maddy ” displayed at the top of the screen and you cringed because she was probably pissed that you hadn’t been responding to any of their texts. Pressing the answer button you pulled out the little seat of your vanity and leaned your phone against the mirror. 

“Oh shit, she answered!” BB’s voice echoed out of the speaker of your phone and you let out a laugh. 

“Are you serious dude, we’ve been trying to contact you for hours,” Maddy drawled out, clearly annoyed.

“I just got to the house Maddy.”

When it came to your group of friends, Maddy Perez was someone who constantly sought for attention. This wasn’t shit talk either, it was just the fact of it. You’d been friends with Maddy for nearly your whole lives and something that she loved was praise and attention. You were one of the few people who knew how to keep up with some of her antics. You were also one of the few people capable of calling her out on her shit without her lashing out at you for it (Although the topic of Nathaniel Jacobs was one she seemed to be especially hard headed on). 

The girls started to talk over one another, Kat’s voice drowned by the energy of Maddy and BB. You nodded along as you moved around in preparation. You’d stripped off the top you had flown in, tossing it aside in irritation and instant relief as the sweat that was being trapped in by the fabric immediately began to be cooled by the touch of the air conditioned room. 

“I mean what the fuck right?” Maddy concluded her story and you could only imagine Kat rolling her eyes. 

“Maddy the longer you complain about Nathaniel the more I begin to tone you out,” you admitted and Kat let out a laugh. 

“Daaaamn,” BB drawled out from somewhere off screen. 

“What the fuck (Y/N) you’re supposed to be on my side,” Maddy was clearly angered by your comment, you could hear it in her tone. 

“Babe I am on your side. I’m on your side no matter what the fuck that psycho does. I just really don’t need to hear about what he does because it doesn’t change anything,” you leaned in close to the mirror to focus on your eye make up. You looked over at your screen for a split second and from Maddy’s body language alone you knew you’d eased her irritation.

“So (Y/N) how’s North Carolina,” Kat question, emphasizing North Carolina with a misplaced old-time cowboy-like accent. You’d only spoken to the movers from earlier so far but people from North Carolina and the Outer Banks in particular didn’t seem to have a distinct type of accent. 

“It’s…” you leaned back to look at yourself and shrugged, “sticky.”

“Sticky?” Kat laughed and Maddy let out a small ‘ew’. 

“Yeah. Yeah it’s sticky.” 

_____________

It took nearly two hours but you’d finished getting ready and damn did you look good. You’d ended the call with the girls after they showered you with compliments and sentiment and you find yourself letting out a heavy sigh to try and release the tension in your chest. You missed your friends. You missed being a short drive away from Maddy’s house. You missed Kat and BB laying around in your room arguing about one thing or another. You missed sleepovers at Cassie and Lexi’s house. You missed heading out to the gas station and talking to Fez and Ashtray (which was an experience mind you). You missed the suburbs and not being on an island all the way across the country.

You missed all of this and you hadn’t even been on this island for a day. 

A knock on your door interrupted the growing weight you could feel throughout your body. 

“(Y/N), are you ready? We’re gonna head out soon,” your mother’s muffled voice called to you and you nodded before realizing she definitely could not see you. 

“Yeah I’m good just give me a second!” you called back. 

“Ok,” her voice drifted off and you took one last look in the vanity mirror, concluding that you definitely needed a full body mirror in this room. 

For tonight you were dressed to ensure the weather on the island knew it could fuck off. Maddy had pleaded for you to wear one of the dresses/outfits she’d gifted you at your farewell party (although you’d specifically told her not to get you anything, you also weren’t gonna complain about the amount of money she’d made Nate drop just to get you presents). So there you were, dressed in a dark purple, suede-textured, bra top with a long pleated skirt that was a lighter, softer shade of purple. You accessorized with two different chains hung around around your neck, a purple bucket hat, a small light purple shoulder bag, white socks bunched at your ankles and silver sneakers. The look was topped off with your makeup matching the purple color scheme. 

Concluding that you were good to go, you made your way out of your room and then out of the house. You took in everything as you passed it, from boxes that were yet to be unpacked to new pieces of decorations your old house definitely did not have. 

“Y’know sometimes I wonder how it feels to need to take 3 hours getting ready,” Isaiah drawled from where he was leaning against the car, scrolling through his phone. He’d dressed in some cutoff tan pants and a polo with a logo that you couldn’t make out on the left breast. 

“It would really help you out,” you shot back and he scoffed. 

“My look is effortless ok, I have natural beauty-”

“Oh, natural beauty bullshit-” 

“I’m not the one with layers on my face-” 

“Say that the next time you wanna use my face masks-”

“Ok ladies! You’re both absolutely gorgeous,” your mother interrupted your bickering as she made her way outside, “Do you wanna know how I know because you both got it from me,” she struck a pose and you let out a laugh while your brother rolled his eyes. 

“(Y/N) are you not gonna bring a jacket?” your dad questioned as you slid into the car. You blinked at him before turning to Isaiah who shrugged. 

“You’re not serious,” you stated and your jaw dropped at the serious look on your dad’s face, “Dad you can’t be serious, it’s so hot.” 

“(Y/N) you’re not even wearing a shirt, it would give me peace of mind if you had something to cover yourself up.” 

See now, while your family got along well, there always was something within families wasn’t there.Your dad’s opinions always seemed to clash heavily with you and your brother’s (yours especially). The man disapproved of Isaiah’s group of friends and lack of participation in sports. The man also disapproved of your friends (aside from Kat and Lexi) and heavily disapproved of your fashion sense and the outfits you tended to wear. He usually didn’t have to see any of the outfits you wore considering he was at work practically all the time, but he always had something to say when he was present. 

“Man people are walking around shirtless and stuff dad it’s fine,” Isaiah tried to defend you. 

“I wasn’t talking to you Isaiah.” 

Your dad was also the only person who didn’t call you or your siblings by your nicknames. 

Isaiah rolled his eyes. 

“Ok ok, it’s fine,” you’re mother piped in, “here (Y/N), you can have this cardigan,” You gave her a look of disbelief and she only shot you a pleading one back. Her expression alone told you, ‘please, just leave it’. You grit your teeth and snatched the cardigan from her, slouching into your seat aggressively as your dad nodded and started the car. Bea continued to watch whatever show she had preoccupied herself with and from the corner of your eye you could see Isaiah’s hand clenching and unclenching on his lap. You couldn’t see his face but you wouldn’t doubt he was as pissed as you. 

_______________

The Cameron house was packed with people. 

Well, not the house itself, but their large backyard was crawling with people. When Bea had told you that you guys would be heading to the Cameron’s for dinner you thought it would’ve been with the Cameron’s and the Cameron’s alone. 

“Welcome to your welcome party!” a man walked up to you and your family and you and Isaiah shared a look. 

“Ward, you didn’t have to do all this,” your mother laughed and the man waved off her concerns before giving her a hug in greeting. 

“This was the least I could do for my new business partners. Now, this must be the (L/N) kids,” the man, Ward, turned to the three of you and Bea stepped up with the confidence that surpassed you and your brother’s. 

“Hi I’m Bethany, but everyone calls me Bea!” she introduced and Ward let out a joyful chuckle. 

“Nice to meet you Bea, I’m Ward Cameron. I work with your daddy.” 

“I know,” Bea said matter of factly. 

“Oh, well then, it’s still great to meet you. And you two are…?” He trailed off offering a hand out for your brother. Isaiah stepped forward, taking his hands out of his pockets and shaking his hand firmly. 

“Isaiah,” he greeted with a nod and Ward nodded back.

“Then you must be (Y/N),” Ward guessed and you nodded with a polite smile. 

“It’s great to meet you three. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you kids,” Ward praised and you tried not to roll your eyes. There was no way your dad was bragging about his kids and you assumed your mom just talked about your antics. She loved talking about your guys’s antics. Bea was likely the only one who actually got any praise from either of your parents at this point. 

“Well there’s food on those tables, take as much as you want. Seconds, thirds, go crazy,” Ward motioned to the long tables displayed with food, buffet style, “Bea there’s a few kids over there who I know would love to make a new friend,” Bea ran off at that, “and you two. My daughter Sarah and my son Rafe are somewhere over there with some others your guys’s age. I know you guys definitely don’t wanna hang around when the old people start talking,” Ward laughed and your parents chuckled while you tried to hide your wince with a smile. 

Ward ushered your parents off, leaving you and Isaiah to stand awkwardly looking over the crowd of people. 

“Wanna go get food?” Isaiah offered and you nodded eagerly. 

_____________

Kiara was on enemy territory. If there was one thing she definitely had not wanted to do, it was go to a Kook party (in Sarah Cameron’s house nonetheless) to welcome a new Kook family, but her parents practically threatened her. Now she was here, trying to avoid all the Kooks (i.e Sarah) while her parents mingled with other parents. Kie had done a pretty good job slipping off so that she wasn’t forced to talk to any one and was sitting on a chair that was basically hidden away from the rest of the crowd.

‘SOS. god pls get me out of here’ She texted her group chat with the other Pogues and threw her head back in irritation as she waited for a response. 

“Y’know I think I just saw Chad, Brad, Tanner, and Hunter over there,” a voice she didn’t recognize startled her and Kie looked up as you and a tall boy made your way over to the spot she’d claimed. You were laughing, your cardigan sliding off your shoulders and both of you had a plate of food each.

“Yeah, they’re waiting for their homeboys Bryce, Brock, and Tucker,” you shot back and the boy barked out a laugh. 

Kie smiled as she caught onto the jokes you guys were making. Yet her smile dropped as she realized that from your unfamiliar faces and your unique sense of style she could tell you two were two of the new kids from the new family. Aka the new Kooks who moved into Figure 8. Kiara’s phone buzzed and she looked down at it. 

‘want us to crash?’ Pope had responded, though from how it was worded, Kie could bet that JJ had sent the message. 

As down as she was for that, her parents were in attendance and they’d probably ban her from ever seeing her friends again (not that something like that would stop her). 

“Hey uh,” Kiara jumped and looked up, making eye contact with you and your brother, “Oh shit sorry, we were just wondering if we could sit here?” 

“Yeah no, go ahead,” Kiara motioned to the empty chairs.

“Thanks,” you smiled at her and Kiara admired your makeup now that you were much closer. 

“I’m Isaiah by the way, but call me Zaya,” Isaiah raised his hand before motioning to you, “This is my sister, (Y/N).” 

“I’m Kiara, but most people call me Kie,” Kie introduced and you and your brother nodded. Kiara’s phone buzzed again, drawing attention to it. 

‘kie want us to come get u?’ John B texted. Kie quickly picked up her phone so she could respond, she glanced between her phone and you and Isaiah before deciding. 

‘nah it’s ok’ 

‘?’ was the immediate response from Pope and Kie could almost hear the confusion. 

‘met the new kids. theyre cool so far’ 

‘If you say so. But jj says dont fall for it’ 

Kie rolled her eyes but could understand the sentiment. She told them not to worry about it before putting her phone off to the side. You and your brother had started a different conversation while Kie had been otherwise preoccupied. Kie watched and listened to you two talk, justifying that it wasn’t eavesdropping since you’d come and sat with her in the first place. 

“That sounds dumb but ok,” you offered and Isaiah scoffed. 

“I mean I looked up if there was one around here but there isn’t so what else am I gonna do.” 

“Sorry, what isn’t here?” Kie interrupted, curious about the context of the topic. Isaiah glanced at you before turning to Kie. 

“Skate park,” he answered, “There isn’t one in the Outer Banks so I could just street skate, but there’s nowhere to drop in. But I was also thinking of just going somewhere and bombing a hill.”

Kie wondered if she was losing her mind. She knew there wasn’t a skate park on the island, the closest one was on the mainland. Most people who skated rode on longboards rather than actual skateboards and as far as she knew most people in the OBX just preferred to surf. But what had lost her was “drop in” and “bombing a hill”. 

“Closest skate park’s on the mainland,” Kie confirmed and your brother seemed to deflate. 

“You skate?” You questioned and Kie shook her head. 

“I’m a surfer. Not much to do when you live out here,” she joked. 

“No shit?” you asked and Kie looked up in thought but shrugged. 

“Well me and my friends, we usually either surf, or we go out to the marsh. We swim, drink, smoke. Either out at the marsh or just at my friend, John B’s, house. Sometimes we throw keggers. Have bonfires. We usually know how to occupy our time,” Kie wondered why she was speaking to these two so comfortably. 

“Parties?” Isaiah questioned and Kie winced. 

“Aside from keggers, people on the Cut don’t really throw house parties. The Kooks are always throwing stuff like this though,” Kie nodded over to the event that was meant to welcome you and your family in the first place. You glanced back at the party/gathering that you’d practically forgotten about. Since you’d arrived you and your brother actively avoided interacting with the teenagers all dressed like they were pledged into Kappa Beta Who Gives a Shit. 

“Sorry, Kooks?” Isaiah questioned. 

“Oh um...Kooks are like the rich people, anyone who lives in Figure 8. Boarding schools, trust fund money, private tutors,” Kie explained. 

“So...we’re Kooks? Because we live out here?” you questioned incredulously. Kie nodded her head and you raised a brow. Sure, you weren’t poor, you’d already established that. Back in California you lived just a few houses down from Cal Jacobs, who owned practically the entire town. You acknowledged that you were definitely more financially privileged than some people, but you’d never had the luxury of going to a private school (shoutout to East Highland) or having a private tutor. And even with as much money as your parents seemed to make, the idea of a trust fund was laughable. 

“OBX is kinda split. John B always described it like...two tribes, one island,” Kie smiled as you and your brother gave her deadpanned expressions, “So y’know who the kooks are, but the other half are the Pogues. Basically the bottom of the food chain. Pogues live on the Cut, the poorer side of the island. Kooks and Pogues don’t really get along.” 

“I’m gonna be completely honest with you, that’s like the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” you stated bluntly. 

“Wait is this like...Soc’s versus Greasers? Like The Outsiders?” Isaiah questioned and Kie’s eyebrows furrowed at the comparison. 

“You're telling me your whole island follows basic labelling like it’s an 80s high school movie?” you questioned in a state of shock and all Kie could do was nod. Kooks and Pogues and even Tourons were just something people knew growing up in the Outer Banks. She’d never really let it sink that other people probably found the concept ridiculous. 

“Do you have bad experiences with...Pogues or something,” you questioned and Kie shook her head firmly.

“Nah, I’m no Kook. They’re entitled, narcissistic, assholes.” 

“So you’re a Pogue? Then why are you here?” Isaiah laughed and Kie slumped in her seat. 

“My parents forced me here. I go to school with these assholes...but I’d never be like them,” Kie shook her head as she caught sight of kids she recognized from the Kook academy. Her family was less upper class, and more working middle class if she really thought about it. Unlike a lot of the highly privileged Kooks, Kie knew what it was like to need to work for the money they had. 

“So then how’s being a Pogue going for you exactly?” you questioned. Deep down you knew that  you probably shouldn’t have been entertaining this whole Kook vs. Pogue thing but you’d also never encountered an entire county of people that was so blatantly classist. 

“Literally great. I surf all day, I get to hang with my friends. The best part is that it’s away from all of...this,” Kie motioned to the crowd that you had separated yourselves from, “Speaking of, we’re actually having a kegger tomorrow. Would you guys be down to come?” Kie looked between you and your brother. 

“Uh yes, please,” you were quick to answer and Kie laughed, “Honestly I was preparing myself for the most boring fucking summer of my life, but I’m really glad we met you,” you admitted.

“Definitely won’t beat back home though,” Isaiah mentioned and you groaned. The thought of missing all the parties that were probably being thrown back in California made you frustrated. 

“Man don’t remind me.”

“You guys moved here from California right?” Kie asked so that she could keep herself in the loop. It wasn’t hard to pick up that you and your brother tended to go off into little conversations of your own but she understood that it was probably because neither of you knew Kie and therefore didn’t know what to bring up in conversation. Kie was an extroverted person but this was something she noticed Pope doing a lot.  

“Yeah, LA actually,” Isaiah confirmed, “Definitely not ‘Paradise on Earth,’ but...” 

“There’s no place like the Outer Banks,” Kie said, though the sarcasm dripped from her entire being. 

“Meh,” you shrugged off with a tone of disinterest and Kie laughed wholeheartedly. 

_________

The three of you ended up talking for the entirety of the night. Kie was determined to stay completely hidden away from the rest of the party’s residents, meaning she had kept herself planted in her chair for quite literally the entire time you guys were there. Isaiah, being how he was, had gotten up a few times to get more food or to grab something new to drink. He had come back with something for Kie each time. 

Kie was interesting, she led the conversation a majority of the time and constantly kept it flowing. You appreciated someone who could work past awkwardness and still keep up a conversation. You ended up exchanging phone numbers and social media and had talked about a whole lot of shit; from keggers, to your outfit, to how moving felt. Isaiah and Kie had even gone on a pretty long debate about music, (something about the top 5 albums of all time, or was it how meaningful a playlist was? or maybe it was about whether it was ok to separate an artist’s actions from their music?). 

Kie was a down to earth, do shit for herself, actions speak louder than words kind of girl. She spoke her mind about everything she was passionate about and though you weren’t preaching about sea life and turtles, you could obviously understand where she came from with her frustrations, you’d just never really met anyone who was so deeply passionate about it. 

The feeling of your phone vibrating against your leg took your attention off of Kie. 

“Hello?” you answered it and Kie paused.

“(N/N)! Where are you?!” Bea’s voice screeched and you furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance. 

“I’m with Zaya, we’re sitting by like some trees, I don’t know.”

“Mom says we’re leaving right now!” 

“Bea stop yelling,” you said firmly, “Ok, we’ll just meet you guys by the car then.” 

“Ok!” your sister yelled and before you could snap at her she ended the call. You shook your head and put your phone into your bag.

“We leaving?” Isaiah asked and you nodded as you gathered yourself and your belongings. Kie began to clean up as well, standing up and helping you and your brother out while you gathered up the empty water bottles and cans of soda. Now that Kie was standing you could see that she was actually a little taller than you originally thought.

“It was really nice meeting you Kie,” you said sincerely and Kie smiled. After the three of you cleaned up she helped lead you guys toward the front of the house without having to deal with whoever was left over at the party. You wondered for a moment about how she was pretty familiar with the layout of the home.

“I’ll see you guys at the kegger tomorrow?” Kie asked. 

“Uh, where’s that gonna be again?” you questioned as you spotted your family’s car.

“Oh it’s on the Boneyard,” Kie explained and you only stared at her blankly, “Ummm, y’know what. I could just pick you guys up?” 

“Yeah for sure,” Isaiah said and you tried not to think about how weird it was going to be arriving at a party at the same time as your brother. That was something you tended to avoid doing when you were back home considering you usually went with your friends. 

You and your brother bid Kie goodbye. You’d never been the type of person to initiate hugging, so when she gave the two of you a wave you found yourself just waving back awkwardly.

Now you were settled in the car, heading back home after a ridiculously tiring day. Bea was going off on a tangent about one thing or another and Isaiah had fallen asleep, wedged rather uncomfortably against the car door. You were texting in your group chat, telling them all about Kie, Kooks, Pogues, and everything in between. 

You wondered if you could finally get a dog.

taglist: @sspidermanss​

[kuroopaisen]

@kacchand (i couldn't tag your main but i wanted to make sure you saw this fdlkjfdlkj) 

hello dear! i’m sorry it took me so long to respond to this dflskjfdlkfdj i decided to answer your ask in a text post so i can link my thoughts to yours more easily! also, i know i'm going to Ramble, so i wanted to be able to keep it under a cut sdlkfjd

Hi rowan!! I've just finished the final chapter of aot and I just wanted to ask your opinion on it!

(SPOILERS THAT DEPICT MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE STORY'S MEANING AHEAD. READ ONLY IF YOU'VE FINISHED THE CHAPTER)

(FR )

(THERE'S STILL TIME TO BACK OUT)

(DO IT NOW. SPOILER ALERT)

I'd also like to ask a follow up question about it, because it seems that I've come to a different concl. from many of my friends and I'm feeling dumb abt how i feel w it.

first of all (and i say this as sincerely as possible, and if i'm coming off as condesending please let me know hh), please don't feel dumb because you've come to a different conclusion :(

we all read media at different levels (i’ve been told it’s ‘not that deep’ before fdljkfsdlkj) and identify different aspects in it, so the fact that you've had a different experience to some of your friends is absolutely not a reflection on your intelligence. and if anyone's making you feel that way, drop their @. i just want to talk :) furthermore, you’re not wrong for responding to something emotionally, especially if it really... makes you uncomfortable, you know? 

i'm from the PH & I've put off determining whether i'm comfy w the manga til the last chap,,,, but is it wrong that I can't shake the feeling that it's a justification of japanese expansionism and genocide? ik this manga has always been in the grey area, and that's what I love abt it! It often shows that no choice they make is absolutely good or bad, and does such a good job at showing you how each complex character came to that understanding (role of environment, etc...) but this last chapter felt too positive abt the rumbling? Like it was justified because paradis was able to advance and there wasn't much choice? idk.

that's totally valid! some of the best think pieces on the show i read mentioned that the concern with the narrative is less "is isayama a nazi sympathiser?" (he most likely isn't), but if he's a imperial japan apologist. and...

well, let's just say that my father is british, and when i was trying to say that colonisation was bad, using british india as an example, he said "well, we gave them railroads." it's... it's uncomfortable and gross and i think it encapsulates how countries with imperial pasts tend to talk about them; even if they don't officially endorse it, there's often a lot of talk about how "well colonialism was good for this country, actually--"

and if the manga felt like it was justifying japanese expansionism, then chances are it had elements that very much did point towards that. i've had a lot of trouble grappling with reiner, annie and bertolt, because they've existed in this grey area of 'victim of oppression' and 'war criminal'; and their existence raises the question of "do people who commit war crimes simply do what needs to be done?" and by victimising them it... it plays into the whole nuremberg defense of "i was just following orders". it's making you feel bad for the people committing said war crimes (and similarly with eren, and all the awful things he's done). but i'll get more into this point later dsfkjfd

i haven't read the last chapter yet (and don't worry about spoilers! i've been approaching aot from a very... specific perspective anyway, so i actually don't mind spoilers -- i read a bunch of analyses of the series before i'd even watched it hh), but... i think if it came off as too positive about, you know... an awful thing that happened, then it absolutely makes sense that you'd feel uncomfortable?

the modernisation narrative in general is one that always skeeves me out. it's one japanese imperialists use to justify the invasion of korea (and even those infamous tweets from the one account purported to be isayama talk about how the population of korea boomed under japanese imperial occupation, which... stop.)

it's also commonly invoked in cases of development. certain members of society (usually the poor), just 'had' to die for the good of the future. who gives a damn if they consent to that? they have to.

similarly, the 'we had no choice' narrative. that's... a concerning one that crops up time and again with history apologists, the argument that "oh if x country hadn't done y, then someone else would've!" or that acts of aggression were done as pre-emptive self-defence, which is so... ugh. i just. i just hate it.

It also feels really weird w the ymir and the whole loving fritz thing. i wish we got to see more of her thought process and what conclusion she came to that led her to destroying the power of the titans.

i... hate this so much. i get that abuse is complicated and victims often have multifaceted feelings towards their abusers, but... most people would focus on that in their story? the story would be about that? but instead, it's just... a thing in the history of the world and that's... icky.

also having the genesis of the titans come from a slave girl in love with her captor... there's many levels of ick to it and i highly doubt it was handled with the appropriate level of grace and sensitivity.

honestly, this might be one of the things that pissed me off the most because of how... contradictory her backstory was with That One Chapter (you know, instead of ymir crying because she wants to be free or because she’s been trapped she........ wants to see mikasa kiss eren’s decapitated head? i guess? what the fuck?) 

idk...I just think that context is sometimes everything. and i understand that media can portray incorrect things,,,, and that isayama likely didn't intend for it to become a global sensation, but i guess i'm just uncomfortable w the right wing nazis getting a comfort book ahaha.

i totally get that! even if attack on titan is meant to be anti-fascists, the fact of the matter is... a lot of fascists love it. and relate to it. which is... alarming. especially given just how popular aot is worldwide.

it’s hard because before the ending, attack on titan did feel like it was more grey; i remember saying that i wouldn’t know how to feel about it until the ending because the story was either saying “the military is corrupt and war is hell”, or it was saying “the military is corrupt and war is hell, but it is necessary.” 

still sorting out my thoughts, but yeah. I think i'm having a hard time understanding what they really accomplished with the rumbling and how they gave eren a sudden lelouch role and a lot of how they made it out to be a happy thing? perhaps I'm too biased to see it fully but to me it gives a "woah. eren was a hero. he saved us from destruction. those people needed to die for us to achieve this temporary peace and new start". i suppose the rumbling gave them a levelled playing ground?

OH MY GOOOOOD okay. i haven't finished code geass. but i really don't like lelouch. i mean... i think i just don't like characters that sacrifice other people for a purported 'greater good' (i could write an Essay about how much i hate erwin smith looking at him is enough to send me into an unhinged rage), but where i'm up to in the anime, i don't like the direction they're going with eren? i mean, i've never liked eren, but... that whole "martyr for the eldians" is just. ew. especially when you see several eldian characters disagree and resist him. 

why does this one guy get to make choices for everyone else? because he’s sPeCiAL? fuck off 

sorry for not being coherent. maybe i'm basing this too much on feelings ahaha. trust aot to finish it's scandalous run with a scandalous end.

no omg you're being perfectly coherent :( also, if anyone's making you feel bad or stupid for how you experience media, they’re... definitely not as smart as they think they are fdslskjfdlk. 

i'm of that mind that, while media consumption is in part an intellectual exercise, it is inherently very emotional; narrative media tries to make us feel as much as it makes us think. that’s what stories are for, you know? intellectual analysis is well and good but what’s the point of a story if it doesn’t make you feel anything?

that's to say, i don't believe there's such thing as basing your opinion too much on feelings :') especially since it's your personal experience with a piece of media; you don't owe anyone 'objectivity' (which is always a farce when it comes to this sort of thing) or 'logical analysis', because nobody's got any right to criticise you for engaging with media the 'wrong way'.

tl;dr I feel like the mood was too celebratory abt the rumbling, and didn't entail enough on the tragedy so much that it felt like a justification for genocide and expansionism. how do you feel abt it's ending and the message it leaves? is isayama responsible to give a morally correct answer to the cycle of hatred? you're not obligated to answer! and sorry for the rambling.

hhh yeah i guess that’s the thing at the end of the day... is isayama responsible for giving a “morally correct” answer? no, but the way the ending plays out is very telling. 

like armin thanking eren? mikasa’s e n t i r e character boiling down to being in love with a mass murderer no matter how poorly he’s treated her? and one could argue that kind of ending is supposed to be unsettling, supposed to hint that the cycle will just continue, but...

framing is everything. and it’s framed like a Good, Emotional Thing, Aren’t We So Grateful Eren Did All Those Awful Things 

YI think I would've been fine if we got to see more of Eren's or Yif you have a different perspective on how eren is being portrayed please do share! I just felt really yucky watching armin say "thanks for murdering all those people for us" with love,,, I suppose he was trying to make eren feel better. ach maybe I'm just overreacting. idk. im dumb ahaha . i'll send this in anyway cuz I'd love to hear your take!

HHHHHHH i just hate eren and i never got him. i felt bad for him in the beginning, but he's always been too... violent for me. there was a very short period of time in season 2 where i felt bad for him, but otherwise it’s just been... ugh. the main three have always been the weakest part of the series imo, so it’s really not surprising they’re part of the reason the ending was so. bad. 

and... well, that one infamous quote pretty much sums up my issue with armin. he's supposed to be the 'intelligent' one, but he's hopelessly devoted to a homicidal maniac with whom he has a very artificial, unbelievable bond with.

at the end of the day, the "thank you for becoming our monster" thing just makes it seem like attack on titan's core message is "war is horrible, but it is necessary." it feels like it's justifying massacre. and while fiction is fiction, and sometimes it's as simple as that, i think something as politically loaded as attack on titan needs to be looked at with a critical lens when discussing what it’s trying to say or what it means. 

do i think it makes someone a Bad Person for liking aot or being attached to it in some way? no, because that’s dumb, and what media someone likes =/= their Moral Goodness TM. ofc trends are a thing and certain pieces of media appeal to certain types of people, but it’s a false equivalency that misses the point. 

but by that same breath, nobody is wrong or stupid or has Less Valid Opinions just because what they took away from it makes them uncomfortable. 

i’m sorry this is So Long i have so many thoughts about this dskljfslkj 

but at the end of the day, 

levi sexy

[bi-lesbian]

how should I go about being a good ally to bi lesbians? as someone who has also had my identity heavily scrutinized by other queer people it breaks my heart to see people give bi lesbians a hard time, but I find myself at a loss for words when it comes to explaining why people should be allowed to describe their experiences how they please. What would you recommend saying when someone I know is displaying a distaste for bi lesbians?

first off i wanna thank you for wanting to support us by trying to do this sorta thing ♡♡♡ i defintely feel that, its very hard to have an in-the-moment thought on how to explain things to people when theyre against certain identities- and honestly im not even quite sure what to say for you to say to them, bc theres just so much information about the identity to describe all of the specifications and history and why people like the identity... id say the best bet may be to point them to my blog and check out my #explanation tag? bc its full of a lot of posts from me and others explaining all sorts of things about the label, and in detail! but for Some things you could specifically point out:

the lesbian label never always meant women exclusively attracted to women, bi women always belonged under the label and was part of the lesbian community until terfs, biphobes, and political lesbians forced them out of it and tried to erase the shared history between bi women and lesbians. a good post to point to for this would be this one by @star-anise, and it has a lot of sources.

blaming women for mens shitty thoughts and actions towards other women is never okay. bi lesbians can not be blamed for corrective rape of lesbians and the idea that lesbians secretly like men. its harmful to ever take any of the blame away from the men actually doing and thinking these things and put it onto other people, and is just a waste of time and energy. i have some posts talking more about this in my #explanation tag too.

theres a lot of ways the label can be used, and this is one point thatd be good to point them to my explanation tag, or to some specific posts in it (esp for any where i have several example ways listed out). itd also be good to note that:

anybody who can fall under any of the ways people use the label does not have to be a bi lesbian, its simply a label that comes down to preference in how people want to call their own identity. nobody is ever "actually" bi, lesbian, or bi lesbian- its up to the individual to decide for themselves.

bi lesbian doesnt simply mean "bi with a preference to women." it can mean that for some, but theres so many reasons for why people use the label and it absolutely can not be summarized by this.

bi lesbian doesnt mean that lesbian alone doesnt inlude nb people, some lesbians simply are also attached to the bi label as it describes their attraction for liking multiple genders (girls and enbies). anybody with an identity like this can identify as either bi lesbian or just bi or lesbian.

bi lesbian was not created by terfs, bc bi lesbian was a thing that always existed and was actively tried to be erased by terfs. also can source to star-anises post i linked above. and bi lesbian does not mean "liking cis women and trans women" bc thats a thing that terfs made up bc they hate bi lesbianism, they just want to try to ruin the rep of the label to further keep lesbian exclusionary.

i think those would be some good few points to talk about! these address a lot of things people tend to say against the identity, and sorry i dont have many posts linked to go to, i just am a bit exhausted atm! but i hope this helps!! and thank you so so much for backing up bi lesbians, it means so much to me ♡♡♡♡♡ just remember to not push urself too much defending things when you dont have the energy!! ik it can be very draining!

[orangecrane]

no fault of mine (ch. 2)

Part 2 of a request by @violetwolfraven

Part 1

A/N: So this certainly got out of hand... I think I’ve got one more scene or so that I’d want to write for this if y’all are interested that would mainly be the aftermath of all this so lmk if you’d wanna see that. Also if you need something else tagged please let me know. Cross-posted on Ao3.

CW: Mild injury (you don’t actually see someone get hurt), Swearing

Race froze. Inhaled sharply. What? There’s- there’s no way, he must’ve misheard. His ears were just playing tricks on him.

“Spot’s in the refuge?” His voice broke. Tears stung his eyes.

Flicker, upon seeing Race’s reaction, seemed like he’d rather be anywhere but there. “Yeah,” he winced, “but you can’t go spreading it around, I wasn’t supposed to tell you in the first place.”

The words swam around Race’s head, he barely heard a thing after Flicker confirmed one of his worst nightmares. Spot was in the refuge. Spot could be hurt. Bad. Race had had no idea. Race had been upset with Spot for something that wasn’t his fault. That was an idea that was going to hurt later. Hell, that hurt now. Spot hadn’t forgotten or wanted to break up with Race. That idea hurt a lot less.  So that’s what he chose to focus on.

Race shook himself from his thoughts, this was fixable. This wasn’t a fucktangular mess of emotions, this was a tangible problem that had a solution. A solution that didn’t involve breaking up with Spot and breaking his own heart in the process, People could be busted out of the refuge. Jack had done it before and so had some of the other boys. They could do the same for Spot. Hopefully. “What are you doing to get him out?” Race demanded.

“What?”

“What are you doing to break him out of the Refuge? Manhattan-” Wait, maybe he shouldn’t promise all of Manhattan’s help without first asking them, “-I can help.”

“We’ve tried a few things but none ‘ave worked so far.”

“Let me talk to Hotshot then.”

Flicker hesitated before nodding and opening the door to allow Race inside. He gestured for Race to stay in the entrance while he left to go track down Brooklyn’s second.

When Hotshot arrived, dragged along by a very determined red-head, he took one look at Race before turning to Flicker in exasperation.

“You told him?”

Flicker spluttered. “Nevermind, we’ll discuss that later, for now,” Hotshot turned to Race, “Brooklyn can handle itself.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t, wouldn’t I, of all people know that? I just wanna get Spot out as soon as possible.”

Hotshot gave Race an appraising look. “Well, what’ve you got then?”

“Let me talk to my boys and I’ll be back by tomorrow noon with a plan.” Race didn’t know how he’d kept his composure this long. He desperately wanted to cry, the unfairness of it all tore his insides to shreds. But he had spent enough time wallowing in pain, admittedly a different pain, but it was time that could have been used helping Spot so Race was going to hit the ground running. Who knew what had happened to Spot since he’d been locked up?

Hotshot glanced around, taking in some of the reactions of some of his fellow newsies before deciding. “All right Higgins. Talk to Manhattan and see what you can come up with.”

Race nodded. Then he turned and nearly sprinted out the door. Oh, he was going to Manhattan alright, but he had somewhere more important to visit first.

---

Race was out of breath by the time he arrived at the Refuge. Running a frankly unreasonable distance and fast as one could tended to do that to you. He took a second to catch his breath and formulate his plan of how to get to the window and get Spot’s attention. His thoughts on the way there had been nothing but a constant stream of Spot Spot Spot and he hadn’t been able to think of less important things, like how he was actually going to get Spot’s attention and talk to him, or how he was going to avoid getting caught.

He eventually comes to the conclusion that he could probably climb the drain pipe and perch on the small ledge of the window and use either the pipe or the metal bars for balance. Yeah, that’d work. And with both things to hold on to he wouldn’t fall. Hopefully. So that’s what he did.

Race waited until the coast was relatively clear and shimmied up the pipe closest to a bunk room, it was harder to keep a grip on than he expected but he made it without falling. The creak the drain let out as he partially swung himself to the ledge was concerning, but again, nothing came of it. 

Once precariously balanced on the ledge and clinging to the bars, he did his best to get someone’s attention. The boy who noticed him looked to be no older than Les. It made Race’s anger simmer beneath his skin and his grip tightened around the cool metal. He hated this place, no one deserved to be here, especially kids that young. He knew from experience. Race quietly asked the boy to find Spot and bring him there, and wished he had the forethought to bring food or something, both for Spot and the other children who clearly needed it.

Race quickly glanced around the street below, trying to gauge if anyone had noticed him. Thankfully he still seemed to be under (or in the case, over) the radar. He kept scanning until he was ripped from his thoughts.

“Racer?”

Race whipped around to find none other than Spot Conlon. He tried to check over as much of the boy as possible, he looked a little worse for wear, but the Refuge would do that to anyone, and Race couldn’t see any clear injuries besides a bruise or two from where he crouched. “Spot,” Race breathed out, relief overtaking him.

“Racer what’re you doin’ here? You’se could get in real trouble.” Spot was clearly concerned. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “And how d’you know I was here in the first place?”

“Your boys gave you up, Conlon.” Race’s attempt to be lighthearted found moderate success. “‘Sides, they probably knew I’d tear the whole city apart lookin’ for ya if they didn’t. I was pretty upset when I got down there.”

Race removed one hand from the bars to scratch the back of his neck, then popped his fingers against his jaw. 

Spot winced. “I thought I’d be out a bit sooner than this an’ I didn’t want you to worry.”

Race met his eyes, for all the world looking like a broken boy, “There’s a lot worse things to be than worried, Spot.” They both looked away, Race to the street once again. Neither spoke for a minute, until Race broke the silence.

“So, how’d you wind up in here anyways?” He still didn’t look at Spot.

“One a’ my kids picked the wrong pocket and had a run in wit’ the bulls. I had to intervene and give him an opportunity to run, but by the time he was gone I wasn’t quite in good enough shape to get away myself.”

Race turned back and looked Spot in the eyes. He was remorseful. “‘M sorry about our date, by the way. Promise I’ll make it up to you once I’m out.”

Race’s chest felt tight at that. Spot really did care. And Race was going to break him out no matter what.

Suddenly a door bangs somewhere behind Spot. He glanced behind himself, panicked, before turning back to Race. “You gotta get outta here ‘fore Snyder sees ya. We’ll see eachother soon.”

Spot shut the window. 

Race managed to maneuver his way back over to the drain pipe and slide down without getting anyone’s attention. Now he just had to get back to the lodging house and let everyone know what was going on. Race thought back to the young boy who he’d seen earlier. Maybe Spot wasn’t the only one they would help.

They’d see eachother sooner than Spot thought, though, Race would make sure of that.

---

Race burst through the lodging house door, gasping for breath. He really needed to learn to take his time getting to places. Most of the boys looked up from where they were lounging around. Finch, Specs, Elmer, and Romeo were all having a discussion by the window while Mike, Ike, Blink, Henry, and Albert played some card game on the floor while a few other boys watched. Jack and Davey were huddled in a corner talking in hushed tones.

“We need to plan a heist!”

Just about everyone rolled their eyes and went back to what they were doing, Albert included. Race was a little offended.

“And what might this heist be for?” Romeo inquired. Race knew there was a reason he was his favorite.

Race was glad someone enjoyed his theatrics. “The prize being my boyfriend, and if possible, as many other kids in the refuge as we can!”

That got the room's attention. “Wait what?” Jack sputtered.

“Spot’s in the Refuge and we need to get him out, and I figured why not bust everyone else out as well. They can’t stop all of us.”

“Woah, back up a second,” Albert said, “Spot’s in the Refuge?”

Race met his eyes guiltily. “Yeah, an’ I’m not leaving him there to rot, or any of those other kids, so I’m bustin’ them out, whether you guys are with me or not. It’d be a lot easier if you were with me though.”

Race was determined. He remembered his time in the Refuge and he’s sure the other newsies did too. He wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t want to risk getting caught or bringing up old memories. It was why he hadn’t gone there since he was released, at least until today that was. But those old memories only fueled his determination. He’d hidden from the place of his nightmares for so long, as many did, but in the process allowed it to continue to hurt innocent kids. Kids like him. Spot’s imprisonment was the kick in the pants he needed. That ended tomorrow.

Everyone could see the fire in Race’s eyes.

“That’s a stupid idea Racer, a jailbreak? Really?” Romeo piped up. 

“You’re one ta talk,” Finch scoffed.

Race glanced around the room. Most of the boys seemed hesitant. But hesitation was not a ‘no’ and he could work with that. He looked to Jack.

“Whaddaya say Jack?”

Jack was conflicted. “‘F you got a plan Racer, I’ll listen.”

And that was all he needed. 

Race explained the basics of his idea to everyone, taking input from those who had it (Jack, Davey, Specs, and Finch) and ignoring the heckling and jokes from those who had them (Mike, Ike, and Romeo). In the end, Jack, Albert, Finch, and Kid Blink agreed to help him with the plan. They spent the next few hours strategizing and hammering out the details until Kloppman came and sent them all to bed.

---

Race got ready for bed, nervous for the coming day. This was a huge risk and one thing going wrong could end poorly for so many people. He lied awake, running through every possible scenario of how this could go wrong.

“I kinda feel like I owe Spot an apology. I know I didn’t do anything to him, but still…” Albert’s voice came from the bed below.

The sick feeling from earlier returned full force. The guilt wracked his body. Race had been so mad at Spot. He’d been willing to break up with him over this. Over something that wasn’t his fault. If only Race had known, he could've- he could’ve-

“Racer I can hear ya thinkin’ a mile a minute, come down here an’ talk to me.”

Race climbed down the ladder and into Albert’s bunk, immediately wrapping his arms around his friend and burying his head in his chest. He was shaking.

“I was so upset with him,” Race said shakily. Albert took a deep breath and started running his fingers through Race’s hair in a calming gesture.

“And you thought he was ignoring you, I’d be more concerned if you weren’t upset.”

Race sniffled. “You don’t get it, I- I was ready to…” Race trailed off. “But it wasn’t his fault.”

“Well how were you supposed to know that?”

Race gave Albert an inquisitive glance. He continued, “I mean, you had no way of knowing he was in the Refuge and the Brooklyn newsies certainly weren’t forthcoming with information. You were right to be upset given the circumstances. Hell, I was upset on your behalf. But now we know better and aren’t mad anymore. This whole thing is a mess but it isn’t really anyone’s fault and you just have to accept that.”

Huh, Race forgot that Albert could be pretty smart when he wanted to be. He’s suddenly very glad that Albert and him are friends, he doesn’t know what he would do without him. He should also work on remembering that Al is a good friend and that isn’t something to take for granted.

“You’re my best friend Albie,” Race said snuggling closer to the other boy.

Albert snorted. “Don’t I know it, no one else would put up with your needy ass. But you’re my best friend to Racer.”

Race drifted to sleep, more confident in himself and ever grateful for his best friend. They’d get Spot out tomorrow no matter what, even if it was just him and Albert, because Albert always had his back, and together? Together, Race believed, they could do just about anything.

---

The next day everyone was jittery while at distribution. Trying not to seem suspicious but not exactly succeeding. Those who were helping in what Race had dubbed ‘The Heist’ were shifting around, trying to not let their nervousness shine through. The whole plan could go horribly wrong. They could all end up in the Refuge, or worse. But if it went right? Not only would they free Spot, but they’d help so many other kids who have been locked away and hurt by those who should never have been given that power.

Even those not participating knew what was at stake. Jack had given a run-down to everyone that morning: The “‘Heist Team’ would sell in the morning as to avoid suspicion and then head over to Brooklyn, where they would strategize and finalize their plan, then put it into motion by sunset. Everyone else would sell as many extra papes as they could to cover for the boys missing work as well as any boys who may be returning to or joining the newsie life once free. Some of the older boys would also try to lure any extra officers as far from the Refuge as possible to keep them out of the team's way.

---

The Manhattan half of the team arrived at the Brooklyn lodging house at noon, just as promised. Quickly surrounded by Brooklyn newsies, not out of the ordinary, but met with a mix of suspicious looks and relieved sighs, very much out of the ordinary.

“Well Higgins, what’ve ya got?” Jack narrowed his eyes at Hotshot, he was well aware that tensions were high and this wasn’t exactly a situation anyone wanted to be in. That didn’t excuse him being so short with Race.

“It’ll go down in the history books,” Race smirked. Full of false confidence. All of his boys behind him. Well, all but one. If there was one thing Race could do without fail, it was bluff. Sometimes Jack could barely tell. The twitch of his fingers, probably aching to crack, was what gave him away. 

“We’ll need someone on the ground from Brooklyn to lure as many bulls and guards away as possible, and Finch’ll take three shooters up to the rooftops, they’ll distract anyone remaining. Jack n’ Blink ‘ave volunteered to handle Snyder so you don’t hafta. Me, Albert, an’ anyone else who wants ta join will break one of the window bars usin’ these,” Race gestures to the tools Albert was currently carrying. “From there I’ll go in an’ grab Spot and you’ll work on getting out anyone else we can.”

Jack thought it was a pretty solid plan. It let every participant play to their strengths and was probably the best chance they had considering the handful of previous breakout attempts. Hotshot clearly wasn’t ecstatic about it but seemed willing to go along with it.

A shaky voice piped up from the crowd. “So we’s for sure breakin’ everybody out?”

Race turned stoically to the kid. “We’re certainly gonna try.”

---

The sun was just starting to set, casting the world in an orange glow and allowing the boys to slip through now prominent shadows. They moved into position.

Flicker would lead as many guards as he could on a wild goose chase.

Finch and some Brooklyn slingshotters would distract the rest.

Jack and Blink would sneak past the clueless guards and keep Snyder occupied.

Race, Albert, and Hotshot had the actual break-in, with a few other kids for backup. It hadn’t been too difficult to get their hands on the tools to dismantle the window bars, but that was only because one Manhattan newsie’s dad was a smith and he’d ‘borrowed’ them for the night.

Soon the sun was half-set and the Heist was in motion. And it was up to Flicker to start. Well, if there was one thing a street kid knew how to do, it was cause a ruckus. And boy did he.

Flicker was fast. Could outrun everyone he’s ever met. Grins like a madman when he felt the wind on his face and heard the pounding footsteps behind him. Doesn’t go too fast, yet. If he lost them now they might go back to their posts. He stayed just on the edges of their vision, ducking around people and in and out of alleys. Once he’s far enough away from the Refuge he’ll lose them in proper, let them scour city blocks where they won’t find him, far away from his friends.

Finch was a shot and a half. Hiding on a nearby rooftop, a few Brooklyn boys scattered around doing the same thing, he felt on top of the world. He kind of was. Had more ammo than he knew what to do with and shooting the remaining guards who were too stupid to look up made him feel powerful. These men, who knew what happened in the Refuge, facilitated what happened there, distraught over a couple of kids with slingshots. It was hysterical. Even once they noticed where the attack was being led from they couldn’t do anything about it. Too big and clumsy to climb up like they had shitty enough aim that they couldn’t hit back from the ground. Hah. Finch could do this all night, and it looked like his allies felt the same.

Jack was nervous. Confronting Snyder scared him. He also was aware that he was one of the few people who would actually keep Snyder’s attention without drawing too much suspicion. Of their rag-tag team, it had to be him. And he wasn’t alone, Blink was right there at his side and despite what he let some people think, he could pack a real punch. And if they pulled this off Snyder would be humiliated. That was always a plus in Jack’s book.

All they had to do was trap Snyder in his office or lure him out of the building itself. Easy-peasy. Snyder might not even realize who it was if they were careful enough. Together they quietly slipped through the gates. Blink followed Jack’s lead, he was the only one who’d been here before and escaped. Jack guided them through the halls, halting  at a partially opened door. He peered inside.

Kid Blink hadn’t even seen Warden Snyder like this, up close, before. If he didn’t know better he’d’ve thought that he was just some old man. But the things he’d heard…

 Well, let’s just say Blink wasn't going to be getting comfortable anytime soon. Jack motioned for him to stay, then disappeared back the way they came. He reappeared about a minute later, carrying a solid wooden chair. Blink got the idea. He darted across the doorway to the other side, glanced at Jack for guidance, slow he motions, and Blink was. He, deftly as he could, reached into the office and closed the door with a soft thud and click of the handle. Jack immediately secured the chair under the handle. Hopefully that would hold him. If not they could always run, that’d still be a distraction. For now though, just sitting there and keeping an eye out was good enough.

Meanwhile, Race and the Bar Boys, as Race had so aptly named them, were preparing to strike. They had waited long enough that everyone should be taken care of and they could get access to one of the windows (on the ground floor this time) open.

Albert and Hotshot quickly get to work dismantling the whole contraption. They move together in a way that surprises Race, diligent and in sync. They’re done in a matter of minutes and then Race is crawling in through the window to go find Spot and they’re off to dismantle another. If they’re going to get every kid out using only one window would take forever. Most of the other boys followed them with two staying behind to man this entry point.

Race felt dizzy the moment his feet touched the ground inside the Refuge. The last time he was here was under much different circumstances. Circumstances that made him queasy when he thought about them too hard. Shook himself, unconsciously cracking his knuckles, he wasn’t a prisoner this time. He was here on a mission, he was here because Spot needed him to be. He could do this for Spot.

One foot in front of the other, out of sight and on the edge of cautious, Race maneuvered through the empty halls. Deep breaths, forcing down the bile as memories resurfaced. Just think about Spot. One foot in front of the other.

 Spot was probably still in the bunk room upstairs. Step. That would be the best place to look for him. Step. And once he was there it’d be easy to address the other kids. Step. Then he’d have to check the more isolated rooms. Step. Free anyone there. Step. He wished someone had freed him while he was there. Step. Memories flashed through his mind. Step- and he’s at the bunkroom door.

One more deep breath and he’s opening the door.

Some of the kids turned to face him in surprise. Eyes combed over the room frantically.

“Where’s Spot Conlon?”

They glanced among themselves wearily until one boy spoke up. “He’s in one of the rooms.”

Race froze. That was bad. Very bad. Swallowed hard, avoiding eye contact. “We’s gettin’ you out, all of ya. The windows on the ground floor are open and everyone is distracted, but you hafta be real quiet and fast. There’ll be kids waiting outside to help you if you need it.”

The surprise is evident on nearly everyone’s face. Instantly most kids are grabbing their meager belongings and practically dash out the door behind him. Race waited for each kid to begin their escape before he forced himself to head towards the isolation rooms.

He walked in a daze, a hollow, aching feeling having taken up residence in his chest where his heartbeat should be. He could hear the muffled sounds of the escapees trying to be silent.

He braced himself.

The first room was empty. As was the second.

The third was occupied. A boy no older than thirteen huddled in the corner, cowering away from the intrusion. Race made it clear he was here to help and pulled the boy to his feet. Told him the same things he told the others and watched the boy run out the door. Race was shaking, just slightly. He never wanted to be in one of these rooms again. He still soldiered on.

Four was empty too.

Race didn’t want to see what was on the other side of five. Spot was on the other side of five. There was nowhere else he could be. Man, this place was messing with his head. The sooner he got Spot out the sooner they could leave. Race opened the door.

Spot was sitting in the corner as well, knees pulled up to his chest, head down and tense beyond belief. From what Race could see, there was visible bruising on his face that certainly hadn’t been there before. If Race hadn’t felt sick before… 

Tears gathered in his eyes. “Spot?”

“Racer? What- how- I-”

“We’re getting out of here, right now.” Race helped Spot to a standing position. However, the moment Spot put weight on his left foot he yelped. Getting a better look at it revealed that his ankle was clearly hurt, probably sprained.

Race tightened his grip on Spot. He had been able to walk just fine yesterday. If only he had-

Spot steadied himself, leaning into Race. Tilted his head so Race had no choice but to meet his eyes.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay. I’ll be okay.” Spot sounded so reassuring, so- so sure. Race had no choice but to believe him. Race rubbed at the tear tracks lining his face. Still slightly shaking, he nodded. They just had to get out of this place. Finally having Spot back with him allowed Race’s determination to shine through.

It was a long way home.

[korezlee]

Ayo, TW// I talk about weight, body image, body dysmorphia, EATING DISORDERS

Im not gonna tag the SuperMega tag cause it’s a lot and it’s a “downer” lmao

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WOOOO BOY I’ve been wanting to discuss or talk about this for awhile and I saw a mutual make a post about it so now I feel kind of safe and validated to talk about it too:

Ok so kinda off topic but this goes into what I have been thinking for a long time but IKKKkk ik comments under SuperMega videos when it’s live action mean well and don’t mean anything by it, but it’s always bothered me when people comment about Ryan losing weight.

Like at first it seems very light hearted and nothing too deep. It’s just a nice little “hey look Ryan lost weight! (Because he always brings up how he is self counscious about his body/weight etc.)

I relate to Ryan a lot and obviously many other people do to, I relate in the sense of not always being comfortable in one’s body and having some kind of body dysmorphia.

The thing is though, his weight fluctuations make me kind of concerned and I wonder if others follow behind that as well. Like ik it’s none of my business, I’m just a viewer and I only know as much as they (Matt and ryan) want their audience to see.

But putting two and two together makes me feel kinda icky.

Ik they’re human, and they’re not perfect, but the way they talk about food and eating sometimes makes me like... not want to listen to it them anymore lmao.

Like Ryan talking about not eating all day, (and Matt,) or trying something to lose weight is kind of triggering to me personally, and of course, it’s their YouTube channel, blah blah blah, I can choose to not watch them, but I think I just wanted to shed some light on it either way?? Idek I think it’s good to critique people you follow/look up to whether they want to be or not because their job is being on social media essentially, so I feel I can have a say and have an opinion on the matter.

I tend and have gone through weight flucations over the past... my whole life I guess, haha. Not just a few or several pounds, but I’ve been pretty plentiful in weight range. I wouldn’t say (nor have I been diagnosed with and eating disorder,) but I have relaizes recently that I have/had the tendencies of one.

I think sometimes they don’t realize that while yes talking about and venting about their struggles with food and body image and what not is valid, BUT it’s interesting because it seems like they don’t realize that how they’re talking about it is toxic? I don’t wanna say that because I have an obvious bias towards them, but it’s weird realization when you hear people talk about something and you’re like “do they not realize that’s like not good and they probably shouldn’t be talking about it that way?” But idk if that just my ego talking?

In essence, it just feels like they forget sometimes that while most of their audience are college students, a lot are teenagers too. (Not that college students can’t be affected as well, but they’re not are kids.)

Like... I’ve been watching them since I was 15, and my stupid little 15 year old brain hearing that stuff probably didn’t help with my issues as well too.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. On one hand I wanna be like “I’m being ridiculous and if I don’t like it then I should just stop watching it OR ignore it,” but on the other, I feel as if this goes deeper and is a fundamental flaw in them I suppose that unintentionally inflitrates into their young audience due to the normalization of diet culture and eating habits especially in America.

I don’t know if I have to go into examples of what I’m exactly talking about but I guess I mean this... *here’s a made up and simplified example of what I can recall just from memory*

Ryan: I hate my body

Matt: why you look great you’re not fat Ryan

Ryan: but I feel like I am and need to lose weight

Matt: but you’re not fat

Ryan: yeah but I still feel gross

Matt: but you’re not fat

*talks about not eating all day and then inevitably talks about losing weight in the same breathe, making the connection whether they had wanted to or not that not eating much obviously = weight lost. And then praising it.*

It just feels kinda not fucking good when it’s implied that being fat is gross or not good.

Like I feel bad listening to that shit cause I’ve gained weight back from losing it, and sometimes I think would they think I’m gross for gaining weight ya know?? And I think if a teenager who already probably has low self esteem hears that (or adult, using teenager because more impressionable,) it’s subtly telling their viewer that yes being fat is gross and not eating all day is admirable.

My rebuttable for this is my head are people saying “but Matt and Ryan usually say that they feel like shit and it ISN’T healthy.” Yes, they usually do joke and comment about their habits not being the best. I’m not saying they’re the end all be all role models for young people either, but I just think it’s something to note when they don’t explicitly say it’s bad, but it’s implied that it’s ok and normal.

I don’t necessarily blame SuperMega for not recognizing this or even really seeing a problem with these conversations, I do think it just shows how human and flawed they are and in a way trying to relate to those that have similar problems.

Again, I do know this problem goes wayyyy beyond them, and they are also part of out society where diet culture has been placed onto them and normalized.

Idk if anybody is reading this, but take it with some salt I suppose? Has anyone ever had this problem while watching and browsing their content? It’s something that I always think about but never talk avout because I feel bad for pointing out that Ryan’s weight loss is “bad,” because it’s none of my business. (The connection between that and how they discuss their eating habits and insecurities makes me think they are connected. I don’t want to say that it the CORRECT assumption to make, because I could and probably am wrong hopefully. I don’t want to come off as purely bashing to dude for wanting to look and feel better about himself.)

And if I do recall, I think I remember (I can’t remember if it was them,) saying that commenting on someone’s weight loss isn’t good because you don’t know how it was lost.

(I think I’m thinking of someone else I have no idea.)

Anyways, just trying to always looks at them in different lights instead of just praising them?? Yea lol.

Maybe I’m projecting my insecurities onto fucking YouTubers way too much but I do think that there are other people that would agree with me, but if not please let me know because I would interested to see those that think differently than me.

[nonbinaryresource]

ive been thinking abt this for a little while & have been needing to ask someone abt it. i am nb & have always considered myself trans but recently ive not been vibing with the trans label bc i am so sick of seeing ppl exclude & invalidate nb ppl. ik that i shouldnt stop doing smth just bc other ppl r being assholes but its so tiring to see ppl constantly say how u dont belong or arent valid. srry this is long & kinda rambly i just dont really know how to feel abt it

I will directly address your ask, but I’m going to start by telling you a story about my journey with identifying as asexual and queer.

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When I was about 11, my friends suddenly started drooling over magazines and calling people hot, and I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I did not feel whatever it is my friends were feeling.

Until I was about 16/17, this part of me remained a mystery to me and to my friends. I never had crushes, I never found people hot, I never liked complimenting people physically, I was uncomfortable with sex on TV, and I didn’t even like platonic touch. Now my group of friends were all repressed and closeted queer folk, so I didn’t have to deal with “being left behind” as my friends dated. But the later we got into high school, the more my friends began discovering and exploring their sexualities.  A freshman became a part of our friend group and was openly trans and gay. One friend came out as gay. Another as bi. They started commenting more and more about other’s looks and having crushes.

Still, there was nothing on my end. My friends used to think I was just being vague and secretive because this is what I tended to be like. I don’t think they’ve ever realized how much of it was that I truly didn’t know or understand what my lack of sexual feelings meant or that it could even mean anything. I used to just consider it a “nothingness” of myself. Until, by complete chance, I came across the term asexual. I immediately connected with it. It explained so much that I didn’t even know I needed explained.

I came out quickly after that and I was really excited and happy and proud to know who I was and what how I felt meant. My friends were great and supportive. My mom was a little ignorant but overall supportive. AVEN was great and a community for me. But if I tried to talk about it anywhere else online…

Well, the effects of how people treated me would fester for years. See, I came out as asexual before exclusionism (the specific movement of anti-aro and anti-ace erasure and gatekeeping from lgbt+ spaces) was a movement or a named thing. Yet exclusionist attitudes were exactly what I faced. My queer friends all completely accepted me as one of them and I helped co-run our school’s new GSA with the rest of them. But online, as a teen, I was facing 30+ year olds telling me I wasn’t queer and that I was just trying to seem special and that I needed to shut up about my asexuality and my experiences and that I wasn’t valid and that asexuality wasn’t a real thing and that even if asexuality was a real thing it wasn’t valid and it certainly didn’t matter.

I graduated high school and went to college and was no longer really in touch with my group of friends. I therefore completely cut myself off from any lgbt+/queer community, even though a friend invited me to join the college’s queer association. I stopped participating so much in online asexual spaces. I become wrapped up in other things.

A couple of years went by and a lot of things in my life changed. By chance, mod applications for a blog about aro and ace headcanons for a fandom I enjoyed came across my dash. I had extra time on my hands and thought I could help, so I applied and was accepted. This increased my exposure to the aspec community again and thrust me back in… just around the time exclusionism was becoming a specific and named movement of bigotry.

At the same time I resisted these ideals, I was also still hurt and unhealed from what I’d gone through as a teen. I internalized a lot of the hatred and gatekeeping. I was so hurt and so tired. I just wanted to be able to exist in peace. And people I considered myself one of were harassing me and dismissing even my biromanticism. So I struggled with my identity and my asexuality. I did not specifically become an exclusionist, but I turned my back on the lgbt+ community and spaces. I did not consider myself lgbt+ because I learned that doing so only brought pain and upset and made me feel alone and isolated. I didn’t speak a lot on exclusionism or inclusionism, but at some point I did make a plea to my fellow aspecs to just let the larger community go and be our own community and accept that maybe we could be straight. I did it out of desperation and hurt, wanting to stop feeling targeted and attacked and to stop seeing the fighting on my dash and in the tags. I just wanted us all to be happy and feel accepted and supported.

On that post, one wonderfully kind and patient person opened up a discussion with me, explaining their own hurts over exclusionism and being so damn exhausted of them and fellow aspecs being targeted and excluded and written out and not supported and feeling like they had to split their asexuality from their other queer identities and how being asexual was a part of them and how it had strongly shaped their experiences, especially with realizing and coming to terms with the other parts of their queer identity. And through their raw honesty I came to realize… I had never stopped to process the harassment I had faced and the pain and hurt that cut me so deeply.

It was a changing point for me. I realized that I had handled my pain in a bad way and had ended up lashing out at other aspecs instead of the people who were actually hurting me. I realized how much I had hurt myself and held myself back and cut myself down and dismissed parts of myself trying to fit into the box exclusionists had laid out for me, as if I could ever made them happy enough to stop harassing me and just let me exist. I cut myself down for them, but the truth is that exclusionists don’t just want aspecs “out” of the community. They want to hurt us. They want us to hurt. They want us to doubt ourselves. They want to feel strong and powerful, and they feel they can achieve this through bullying us. Perhaps some, like myself, are trying to appeal to their oppressors by pointing out another vulnerable group they could target more/instead. They are passing on hurt instead of standing up to it and so they are actually festering in hurt instead of changing anything.

Today, I am a staunch inclusionist. I understand myself and the issues aspecs face much better. I am a more compassionate person regarding the confusion and upset aros and aces have over their identity and their place in the world. I feel more stable and confident regarding my identity as an asexual - and now as an aromantic - queer person who is lgbt+.

But it was a long, hard, difficult journey to get here. It was full of a lot of turmoil. I wish I would have had a happier journey where I felt more supported and accepted, and I hope I can help provide more stability and support for future generations to not have to go through what I did.

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My point (or one among a few, anyway) is that I deeply and personally understand how you are feeling and the decision facing you now. As someone who went through a very similar experience, my advice to you is to take care of yourself and to prioritize your mental health.

It’s okay if you can’t handle identifying as trans right now. Maybe you do need some space from the label (and definitely from the hatred and gatekeeping). Maybe you need to pull back from certain communities or blogs or discussions.

However, I will say that not identifying as trans may not bring the peace you desire. It may end up making you feel even more isolated. Not identifying as LGBT+ certainly didn’t help me. It was reactionary and it only made me feel like there were less spaces for me. That said, you may find peace in this. But I think the bigger action to take is to separate yourself from those who are saying harmful things more than to separate yourself from a label you feel really suits you. Use your block button liberally. Don’t force yourself to partake in spaces where gatekeeping is allowed or encouraged. Follow and listen to more people who are inclusive.

I think burnout like this is unfortunately pretty common. You do not have to force yourself to face this hatred or exhaustion because you think it’s the right thing to do. It’s okay to pull back and just take care of yourself. Just work on some self-care. Work on building up a community of people around you who don’t resort to bigotry and hatred and exorsexism and gatekeeping and identity policing. Engage only with what you can actually, honestly handle.

We will confront and move past this bigotry only by acting as a united front. The responsibility for improving things isn’t on any one person’s shoulders. And no one needs to be on the front lines 100% of the time, especially at the cost of their own wellbeing. Take care of yourself and rest now before you completely burn out and break down.

You do not have anything to prove, okay? I have both hope and faith that there is a lot more to your journey - a lot more good things and a lot more happiness and belonging. Take whatever time it is you need to help heal yourself and recover from the hurt and harassment that’s been plaguing you. You are important and you matter, much moreso than whatever label you use at whatever point in time. It will be okay.

I am here for you.

~Pluto

[mikeshanlon]

do you like astrology and if you do what signs do you think the losers are

Okay so shoutout @denbrough (mo) for helping me with this, also @stenbranlons (claudia) for nodding alongin our gc, I’m sorry we talked about this for like a week RGLKNRG. To preface,we are in no way astrology experts lmao, we pulled from several differentsources and picked which ones we felt fit best. Which, that being said, we didnot consider any of the canon birthdays for this, just vibes. Ik some peopleare very particular about astrology headcanons LGRNG so these are just our ownopinions, any differing ones are not less valid or whatever. Also, charts arevery complex and have many different factors, like Mercury for communicationand Venus for love, etc, we just decided to do the main three placements. Incase some of y’all don’t know, someone’s Sun sign is essentially their basicidentity and personality, it’s how we act in the world, and our conscious mind.Our moon sign is our emotional self, our unconscious, how we react tothings, our deepest needs. Some astrologists say this is more like our “trueself”. One’s rising or ascendant sign is our social personality, it is howpeople perceive us, and often how we perceive the world and new experiences—it representsthe “outward”. Some refer to it as the mask we wear around others, though thatdoes not mean our rising/ascendant is fake, but rather how we act and thinkwhen interacting with our environment. Anyways because this is me, theseexplanations became super fucking long so I’m sorry about that! This was superfun though, thank you for asking!

Bill:

Leo Sun: Leos are leaders, theyare very charming and pull people in with their loyalty, humor, and confidence.All of the losers love Bill and are very enraptured by him, Leos tend to be inthe spotlight and adored, so I think this is very fitting. They always want tohelp people but sometimes they can also get fixated and arrogant and end up neglectingwhat others need—for instance Bill being so fixated on finding Georgie that hedoesn’t totally realize the other losers are really scared and getting hurt. Still,Leos are very inspiring and fearless and want their people to be happy. Leosare also quite romantic and generous, which I think are traits that can beattributed to Bill.

Cancer Moon: Okay so I have alwayssaid Bill has Big Cancer Energy, but I think it makes most sense as hisemotional self. Cancers are caretaker types; they want the best for theirfriends and do whatever they can to help them. They are persuasive—sometimes tothe point of manipulation. Many Cancers are afraid of rejection/abandonment(hello Bill’s shitty parents and him holding onto the idea of his brother foras long as possible!) Because they are so caring and sensitive towards theirfriends, they can be quite moody—both anger and sadness. (Bill be Crying andpunching his friends sometimes doe!) Cancers like art and are very imaginative(Bill’s art and writing). When I think of Cancers, I think of tender h*rniness.They fall in love very easily and crave a deep love and can be v thirsty attimes lmao, to me that really encapsulates Bill. Cancer Moons are also verydomestic and love comfort, and while I think Bill likes to go on adventures, Ithink he is someone who enjoys a sort of domestic routine with the people heloves from time to time. Cancer also rules the moon so he’s Extra EmotionalLNRGRG.

Aries Rising: Those with Ariesrising are often leaders, lively, generous, warm, and have a reputation ofbeing a troublemaker. They are rash and jump into situations (HELLO BILL KINGOF DUMB IMPULSE DECISIONS). But, they are very engaging and can be greatmotivational speakers (Neibolt speech teas). They want to help friends to thepoint that if they refuse, an Aries rising individual will refuse to acceptthat rejection. Furthermore, sometimes they can come off a bit like arrogantassholes, but they really do care about their friends and just want to helperklgneg. Aries rising people are very emotional and their impulsiveness cansometimes translate into rushing serious relationships.

Mike:

Libra Sun: Libras are very diplomatic;they bring harmony and balance and can see multiple sides. I think this fitsMike very well, for instance during the scene where the losers are by the PaulBunyan statue, Mike understands why Stan is looking at this logically but healso understands Bill’s emotional reaction. He also understands why Bill andBeverly think they should stay together and help, but he also understands whyRichie/Ben/Stan don’t want to keep going. He tries to get everyone to calm thefuck down and cooperate. Libras hate conflict, aside from Mike’s nonviolence(not wanting to kill the sheep and hesitating to hurt Henry until he knew itwas life or death), he also avoided telling all the losers about why he askedthem to return, showing sometimes his aversion to conflict can be a negative. Librasoften get fixated on one thing—the crazy conspiracist Mike of it all… Iunderstand why people think he could be a Taurus because of his commitment tothe losers and staying in Derry for 27 years, but I think that is super tied tothe idea of bringing justice for those who P*nnywise killed and will try to kill,Libras are super into fighting against injustice. Also, Libras are ruled byVenus and love love and are very charming, I think Mike has a certain pull andmagnetism about him.

Taurus Moon: Individuals withtheir moon in Taurus are very warm, affectionate, and sentimental. They like togather all the facts but can be somewhat impressionable, again I think thismakes sense with how he decides that he believes pennywise exists and hisresearch as he stays in Derry. Speaking of, this line from Mo’s book killed me:“when you’re confronted with a problem you look for the most effective way todeal with it, and even if it’s personally painful for you, you get it handled”.Like. Oh my god. They also like creature comforts—often Taurus is linked withluxury but I think in this sense his ‘luxury’ is his kitschy clutter of thingsthat hold sentimental value—supernatural items, knick knacks from his childhood,his favorite books, etc. He holds these dear and this is probably why his homeis a big ol mess but he likes it and finds it cozy. Speaking of, they are veryromantic and want a life of domesticity, which feels very Mike to me! Theyinvest a lot in their friendships, I think this is true of Mike as well seeingas you know.. he sacrifices years of his life so they can be happy.

Capricorn Rising: Those withCapricorn rising can be quite shy with strangers, but once they get to knowpeople, they are very friendly and warm. They are very dedicated to theirgoals, these goals are often to strive for a better life (Mike wanting to savethe people of Derry, Mike wanting to travel, etc). But sometimes this strivingcan make Cap risings feel unfulfilled and they continue to search for somethingmissing. Capricorn rising individuals are smart and concentrated, they are ableto parse through information and plan ahead, though sometimes they go overevery detail too much—Mike is very into research and understanding things andsearches every possibility. They love deeply and are very loyal and protectiveof those they love. They can worry a lot. Mo also added that cap risings are dependent,reliable, and stable. which can be attributed to mike staying in derry allthose years and keeping that promise to call them. Overall he’s very groundedand down to earth with his rising/moon!

Stan:

Virgo Sun: Virgos are veryanalytical and pay attention to the little details. Often times, this leads tothem being very critical of themselves and others, and they are prone toworrying. I think Stan is someone who tries to navigate through life logically,but he can get caught up in the anxieties of everything going wrong and getoverwhelmed. They often like animals and nature (not to be like Stan likesbirds and plants and shit but he does GLKNRG), and value cleanliness, sometimesthis leads to germaphobia or hypochondria especially because Virgos tend toworry (and we know Stan is a germophobe and deals with OCD, he has to clean thebloody bathroom in a certain way, the painting needs to be perfectly straight,etc.). In friendships, Virgos usually play a role of an advisor—they are veryloyal and want to solve problems but sometimes that means they find problems ineverything (I think Stan tries to advise the group but also Bill is like okaylet’s do it like this

Pisces Moon: Some people view Stanas very emotionless or even angry, but I think he’s quite emotional, he justtries to operate with logic first. Pisces moons are often described as ‘dreamy’and want to escape reality (Stan being like it’s summer let’s just forget what’sgoing on and… other stuff lmao). They are very emotional, but those emotionscan be hard for others to read because they are very mysterious, and even hardfor the individual to express. They have a strange sense of humor (kookiekookie lend me your bonessssss). Those with Pisces moon are very sweet andsensitive to others suffering and are drawn to those in crisis often (like.Literally all of the losers LKGNRKRG) and can be overly trusting (I swear Bill!!!).They are also very afraid of the past coming back to haunt them… :(. Mo the ultimate Stan stan also had this to say: ever since claudia tagged one ofmy posts about stan being one of the most emotional losers but no one evertalking about it, i'm constantly thinking about how stan reacts to things. myinitial reaction was scorpio moon, but scorpio moons are really good at hidingtheir emotions. think about stan's reactions to big events in his life: gettingleft alone in the sewers, his bar mitzvah getting mike's call. he has distinctemotional reactions. pisces is also the sign of sorrow and self-undoing, sothinking back to some canon events it just makes a lot of sense to me. piscesmoons are also really selfless when it comes to their friends, but very strictand disciplined when it comes to themselves.

Aquarius Rising: There’s thissection in Mo’s astrology book that just like. So completely encapsulates Stanand how he interacts with the losers imo: “You are often intolerant of otherpeople’s shortcomings and can be wickedly sarcastic and very funny at the sametime. Your razor-sharp powers of observation help you uncover flaws that youcan poke fun at. You are a system of paradoxes. You enjoy being with people butare perfectly content to be alone. You like to travel but love relaxing athome. You are friendly and outgoing but, at other times, moody and reserved.” Like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Also, those with their rising in Aquarius are very idealistic and want theworld to be happy and harmonious (Stan being like its summer can we chill andnot wanting to be part of any conflict). They can also feel impatient towardsthose who don’t share the same vision.

Beverly: (imma be honest Bev was the hardest toplace so don’t judge lerngerg)

AquariusSun: To me, Aquarians are the epitome of like… chill/friendly stonerthat likes to talk about conspiracy theories and injustices of the world whiley’all are seshing but they are also kinda mysterious bc you never really knowwhats going on in their head …. which is v Bev to me RLGKNNKRG. Aquarians lovehanging out with friends and are really good listeners, which I think is trueof Beverly—they also have odd senses of humor. They are humanitarians that liketo fight for justice, I think Bev is someone who wants to fight for those whoare being hurt bc it’s something she has experienced and wants to provide thehelp that she didn’t get. For instance, she’s the one who’s like we need to gosave Mike, and she also wants to help save Derry and agrees with Bill that theyshould keep fighting Pennywise during the big fight after Neibolt. Aquarians canbe quite paradoxical—at times they are shy, other times loud and eccentric, Ithink this makes sense for Bev, another quality is that those with their sun inAquarius like to have some time alone, both of these things make me think ofthe moments she enjoys on her own and the other times she seeks out fun withthe losers and does crazy shit like jump off a cliff LKGNKNRG. They can bekinda bad at emotional expression and are very guarded with their emotions,sometimes coming of cold/bitchy until they know they can trust someone (Bev toBen at first on the stairs elrkgnerg).

Aquarius Moon: okay Mo wrote this explanation and I thot it was perfect so: Moon in Aquarius brings upthe qualities of sensitivity and perception. Since aqua is the sign of rationalthinking and humanitarianism, moon in Aquarius gives a person a clear mindsetand kinder outlook on life. Moon in Aqauarius are rational, intuitive, andimaginative, which i think can speak for a lot of beverly's character traitsand actions like her monologue in it 2017 where she tries to rationally explainwhy pennywise is going after them and how they have to defeat it, whereaseveryone else is struck by fear and emotional, or at the end of it 2019 whereshe tells richie that eddie is dead, and being intuitive enough to know thatshe has to tell him and tell him in a specific way, the imagination quality isa clear call to her artistic vision as a designer. aqua moons have greatvitality, they're witty conversationalists, and all around great friends. ithink that the friendliness and sociability of her aqua moon can be offset byher sag rising so there's more balance and nuance to her characteristics there.they're interested in the unusual, specifically in people, which could link herto vibing so well with the losers club. they can't stand possessive or jealouslovers, but they unconsciously choose people who aren't available to them (herfirst husband). they need a fine line between commitment and independence,which i think speaks to her behavior as a kid. she needs the stability and thespace to grow she didn't have from her dad. they deeply value platonic love. overall,aqua moons are independent, they have stimulating minds, persuasive charms, anda side of their personality that will always gear towards the unusual

SagittariusRising: Sagittarians love hanging out with their friends, but they alsohave the desire to be free and have adventures (I want to run towardssomething, not away! Queen). They are wise but optimistic, again I think thisties with things like her understanding that they all have to stick together tobeat pennywise, but also believing that they have the ability to kill It aswell. They are humorous and can be quite outgoing and confident, there aretimes when Bev is v confident and wild (teasing Ben, jumping off the cliff,initiating the rock war, etc). Sag risings are also v brave—like every single timeshe fights It or the Bowers or her dad or her husband. They’re good at tellingstories. They are also people who fight for the oppressed and want to createideas that help the world.

Ben:

Pisces Sun: Pisces are super friendlyand will do anything to help others even if they don’t get anything back(Ben!!!!!!!! Ben!!!!!!). They are very compassionate and gentle with others, I thinkthis is very true for Ben as he is p much always super sweet and understanding withthe losers. Their compassion can sometimes lead to being way too trusting—this canbe a problem bc they could fall in with bad company and hate being criticizedand sometimes views themselves as a victim. I don’t think Ben ever tries to like…capitalize on being a victim or anything but I think he does feel that waysometimes especially in regards to Bill/Bev, but he understands that’s her owndecision, again being very compassionate and not expecting anything out of hisactions. Sometimes their strong emotions can manifest in negative ways, likebeing scared, sad, and feeling misunderstood—they also can cry p easily (Ben criesquite a bit for his friends like in the sewers and his own romantic feelingsand stuff). They are super romantic and love unconditionally. They are also quiteintuitive, I think this makes sense (in tandem with the romanticism) withthings like kissing Bev to save her, understanding where to look into stuff inregard to the pennywise bullshit, etc.

Taurus Moon: We’ve talked aboutthis a bit with Mike, but I think Ben is also a Taurus Moon! LunarTaureans are very sentimental and have deep, strong emotions. They are vromantic and hang on to their relationships, both platonic and romantic, (thepostcard…….) they want a devoted and committed relationship that providessecurity. Those with their moon in Taurus really invest a lot in their friendships,I think friendship is one of if not the most important thing to Ben so thismakes a lot of sense to me. There’s a line in one of the sites I looked at thatfeels SO Ben to me: “Taurus moon sign energy has two speeds: relaxed andcontented […] or hyped-up and ready to charge”. That totally reminds me of howBen is usually p chill and easy going but when the people he loves arethreatened he goes crazy to protect them (the rock war scream and him going crazyduring that LGKNNRG and fighting pennywise, etc). While Mike’s affinity for luxuryis more like…. Kitschy clutter trash GLNRG, I think Ben’s interest in architecturefeels v luxurious and the importance of a home base makes sense for him. TaurusMoons also like to gather all the facts first—this makes sense in how heapproaches his friendships/relationships but also other things like investigatingDerry.

Libra Rising: Let’s go diplomatic romanticslet’s goooooooooo!!! Libras want harmony and are therefore good mediators, theywant everyone to have a good time and are good at teamwork. I think this makessense for Ben and can especially be seen in scenes like the reunion dinnerwhere he tries to calm everyone down and let Mike be heard. They are persuasivebut often do so with a ‘nice guy’ approach rather than like Charm andConfidence like Leo/Aries. Again, Libra Risings are SUPER romantic and havegood intuition, they usually know when they have a chance with someone and willcreate an ideal vibe for their relationships to bloom. They like to plan aheadfor the future with their loved ones (hello argument scene where he’s like imgonna be 30 and far away from here). They also feel like they need anotherhalf, which i think is true for romance but also just like. He needs hisfriends and really loves/cares about them. Those with their rising in Libraalso really care about home aesthetics and having a balanced space, again I thinkaiding in his architecture career.

Eddie

Sagittarius Sun: Tbh, I was v tornbetween sag and scorpio for Eddie’s sun, but I think Sagittarius best describeshis sun and Scorpio for his emotional self. Sagittarians are curious and fullof energy, and they value freedom (hello let Eddie be free!!!!!!). They can besuper impatient and tactless with some of the things they say, which is a veryEddie thing to me lernrgge. Furthermore, they can get angry pretty quickly aswell, and often talk quickly too (Eddie speaks so fucking fast and snaps easilyat everyone erglknegr). They also have good senses of humor; they like to teaseothers. Those with sun in Sagittarius are dedicated to their friends and arewilling to do anything… like defy their awful mother and crawl through a sewerwith a broken arm to fight a murderous clown. Sometimes they have blind faithin others, which I think could be translated to his relationship with Bill andto a more intense and negative respect, his mother. Sags want to find knowledgeand understand other people’s beliefs, and they are very vocal about their own,even to the point of exaggeration (like every single rant Eddie goes on LMAO).They also like sports which like LET EDDIE RUNNNN. Also, not to be a reddie butin looking at compatibility with the signs Gemini/Sag fit so much better forthem and made a lot of sense to me.

Scorpio Moon: Those with theirmoon in Scorpio are very emotionally intense and can be quite dramatic. Thiscan allow them to be quite perceptive of the emotions of others. However, theyare very good at hiding their own emotions because they often disprove of themand deny that they are motivated by their strong emotions. (hello repressedEddie). This helps Scorpio moons feel in control, but it can be detrimental. Ireally love this line from Mo’s book: “you must learn to let go emotionally andfeel your pain, and through the experience expand your phenomenalability to love”. Yup lover!!!! Scorpio moons are also very determined andpersistent…. fighter eddie!! Lover and fighter eddie!!! This made me kinda sad,but it says that there’s usually sorrow/trouble in the lives of Moon-Scorpiosand those are often tied to family and health… :/ and that they think ofescapist fantasies to cope with that. Scorpio moons are sensual but thestereotype of ~super sexy scorpio~ is kind of misleading. They have huge trustissues and don’t want to be controlled (oop… also they usually get married multipletimes lmao), it takes a lot for them to be trusting in love but when they do it’sa very deep love.

Virgo Rising: Those with theirrising in Virgo are BIG worriers and are super analytical, they often noticetiny details. (Maybe a dumb thing but Eddie is always the first to notice whenone of their friends is gone in the sewers, also in more funny and little wayslike him sniffing Ben’s perfume—that also ties in with his Sag curiosity imo).However, even though they notice details and can be intuitive, they miss out onemotional nuances. Sometimes they can be a little too forward and matter offact with people—I think Eddie speaks before he thinks a lot LKRG and can saysome rude shit sometimes without realizing it. (Ik this is kinda like my own stuffbleeding through but in general I think Eddie can be oblivious to other’semotions LRNGKNLG). They are very critical—often towards themselves, they areinsecure and beat themselves up over just about every little thing they do (SUCHan Eddie thing to me). Furthermore, they are guarded with their emotions untilthey have analyzed the situation and feel comfortable (again. Very Eddie tome). This often means they come off as timid and at times cold/stand-offish,which I think in new situations or times when Eddie’s unsure (aka has not analyzedeverything and feels unsafe whether physically or with his emotions), he tendsto draw in on himself and stay quiet. (But, then, his fire Sag side comes burstingout when he just can’t take it anymore and goes bonkers LKGRNG). Virgo risingsare organized and care about hygiene and cleanliness and are very in tune withtheir body (of course, Eddie’s obsession with cleanliness and hygiene/healthhas a lot to do with his mother’s abuse, but I also think there are some parts withinhim inherently who care about those things, it just got exacerbated in anextremely negative way bc of his mother). Interestingly, Virgo risings are veryenergetic, often with nervous energy, and have a hard time staying still—this feelsvery Eddie to me, his pacing and emphatic hand gestures, etc.

Richie:

Gemini Sun: Geminis are superwitty and funny and love to have a grand ol’ chaotic time with their friends,but then can turn serious suddenly. Oftentimes they feel restless and feel likethey are missing their other half so to speak (the yearning… the emo moments…).They’re very sociable and hate being alone, they love to entertain others, theyare strong communicators. Their love for communication often means they feelthe need to talk A LOT, even to strangers. (Trashmouth Tozier always talking!—Mopointed out that Richie’s talking is so bad that they had to create a separate phase,beep beep, just to be like We Seriously Want You To Shut Up, which I thinkmakes sense for all his placements bc they’re all like. One’s where the person talksso fucking much GRLNRG my annoying king

Gemini Moon: Yup double geminilove this obnoxious legend!!! (jk I like geminis but. It’s true. I am also sayingthis as a gemini moon). A lot of the stuff about his sun can be applicable herebut I’ll add on bc I am incapable of shutting up (the gemini moon of it all…) Thisis from Mo’s book again, I’ll just add some commentary/examples as to why Ithink it fits with Richie: Gemini moons are mutable and erratic. they have anactive mind, and imaginative and creative personality, and are inclined to intellectualpursuits. they have extraordinary quick sensory impressions of the outsideworld and they rapidly sift through info in their minds to make judgements.fast learners, high iqs probably , good critics and have the ability to bothanalyze and verbalize (despite some fanon interpretations, Richie is actually reallysmart, he’s good at math/science, I believe he’s also into politics later in college?).they have great charm. conversations with gemini moons tend to go off onunexpected tangents and take sudden turns and reverse (This feels SO Richie tome lekrnglenr). at heart, a lunar gemini is essentially restless and needsconstant stim (Makes sense for Richie for me, also with his ADHD, he needs tobe playing video games or reading a comic or doing this and that, he hatedhaving to be look out and do nothing for like an hour ergklnerg). lunargemini's are always mentally assessing their feelings. they tend to dissecttheir feelings and emotions to analyze why they think or behave in a certainway. they're quick witted and vibrant and can change their minds often. inemotional relationships they display a free spirit, going on the whims of theother person's emotions. at times their talent can be isolated because theylose interest in this quickly and drop their projects. they perform well whenin a relationship with someone practical and hardheaded (inch resting……..)

Pisces Rising: Taking some morestuff from Mo’s book, these lines I think really resonate with Richie’s outwardself and how he deals with the world: “You want life to be perfect and since itisn’t, you choose not to see what you don’t want to see”. That is SUCH a Richiething to me. “At parties Rising-Pisceans are vivacious and verbal (sometimesyou talk too much); you enjoy performing in front of a group. A talent formimicry makes many Pisces Ascendants turn to theater”. Literally Richie… the Voices,the talking too much and wanting to entertain the losers…. Those with Piscesrising are also very romantic and want to live a fantasy life, but they can bevery sad and moody especially because they feel like they are destined to bealone. (Richie yearning gay….) They are also quite disorganized but work wellin groups (let’s go loserssss clubbbbbb!!!).