#im also posting this on ao3 bc this is a MONSTER

[reggiestein]

nobody sees them the way i do i am different i am alone

[delunesnumberonefan]

SO

saskia and belialah. the empress and her shadow.

...im breaking my own rule of not posting any more original creations here but idgaf---i'll post some sketches and if there's interest i can throw this fic i'm working on up on ao3 for the monsterfuckers in the audience

so, backstory on THESE TWO:

i'm gonna go in real life order of events and talk about some of the inspos that went into some of these moments and where they were in our real life timeline of Experiencing these two

under the cut bc i must remain polite in the face of my hyperfixations

HELLO I MAY BE POLITE BUT IM RABID LETS GOOOOOOOOO

ok so, canonical order of events: saskia (matriarch) and belialah (demon lord) meet, they establish an alliance, belialah does stuff for saskia. at some point, saskia starts amassing her generals (we'll get there) and chooses belialah. somewhere in here as well, saskia splits from the empire and starts doing her Evil Deeds for her Evil Plans. I'm not sure which of the last two came first. in either case, lost later meets belialah, we haven't seen her (physically) since (but that's not a good thing i don't think)

irl order of events:

Saskia throws a Fit, kills her nephew, and withdraws from the empire at large. we make fun of her because though she's the big bad, she's also weirdly wet and pathetic. we hate her. she's so sucks. and also so sexy. its bad

time goes by, things happen, eventually there's a big party with all the matriarchs!!! yaaaaay

lost and gilt go because ofc we do, and there's a big dance where everyone keeps changing partners. at the end of the dance, lost gets belialah

...elven ish woman. obviously weird. too pale skin. black hair. disheveled appearance. ill-fitting dress. holds herself weird. talks with a tremble and a breathiness to her voice that immediately makes us uncomfortable (my mans can do some fuckin VOICES and don't get me started on the sound effects). belialah says she's a huge fan---of lost's father. the being from before creation whose whole thing is "immortal life but not in the good way" instead of "you won't die" it's "you can't die" there is no death to escape from life, no matter the suffering.

so--red flags.

she tells lost that she's one of saskia's generals, and that saskia sent her to give lost a message: saskia is so excited for her to come home, and that lost should bring her brothers (6 beings of various otherworldly heritage like lost--saskia has a type and it is monsters) when she comes home. Lost tells her to tell saskia, from her and gilt, to fuck off.

belialah goes...monstrous. red eyes start popping open all over her skin and she gets quiet and threatening about how lost is disrespectful and how--yeah, she will tell saskia that. and she leaves in a cloud of black vapor

i turn to chase. i say "oh they're fucking"

and he hits me with "...belialah would probably like to!"

and i hit the ground running. sprinting. i was off into the distance without another fucking word. little roselyn-shaped dust cloud left behind.

fic. art. works. stuff. so much. headcanons. throwing everything at the wall. attempts at first time. attempts at canon. saskia bitchiness. belialah wanting to smash despite the great danger to her personal health. weird fetish fic. modern!au. headcanons about modern!au. deep dives. analysis. narrative foils. sex. so much sex.

it's everything. they're everything

i want them to be terrible together. that's all i want. that's all i've ever wanted.

i set about creating for them in a frenzy--it's been love and war time for...since early may of last year?? some coming up on a year, now (again---150k words written in this time, with april's word count unknown but already above 10k. jan ALONE was 32k). love and war time means that it's always love and war--it's just different people inside the campaign. oh it's saskia oh it's freya it's gilt and lost let's bop over to adele what about gilt's parents-

FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR

it's been great.

Chase messaged summer and i a few weeks ago like "hey. i got a belialah meeting saskia inspo video, but i need to show you in person bc i need to get your reaction live."

he showed me this

we had a moment of "...oh my god its from a gacha game?" and then i made him play it three times in a row just Absorbing the vibes

chase: it's saskia and belialah when they first meet, with belialah thinking she has the upper hand and saskia proving that she is very, very wrong. but i don't know what a ball in the abyss looks like...

me: say no more

and i hit upon them meeting at an event where it's basically like---demons from all over gather, have a civil time---when bloodshed eventually happens (which it always does bc they're literal actual demons) it's a free for all and it's expected to be a bloodbath, that's part of the appeal

belialah's there, as you do, and saskia's there to talent scout from the pool of winners for her big evil plans. belialah's like "wtf is a stupid little mortal doing here why are you unaccosted where is your collar" kinda behavior and goes over there, they talk, they dance (also a ploy for power among demons, it's a sizing up thing instead of a fun thing), saskia reveals that she's got 1/8th of the power of a god in her soul and belialah's like "cool im fanatically devoted to you now i've never wanted to smash a mortal before can we make out"

and that's how they start their history

with me writing books about this campaign (again--pipe dream) i've been deciding on when and where i want these two to get highlighted, bc, again---we've never met saskia in person, she's spoken to lost and gilt directly once, and we've seen belialah once outside of saskia's bitchy announcement to the empire at large where she reveals she's got 12 generals and you better not try shit bc we're at WAR now (she's stupid i love her dearly)

and recently i've been working on their...first time? an epilogue for one of the books. the actual thing won't have sex in it if it gets to be part of the book for realsies, but im not stopping there bc IM ME

and i've been tinkering with like...ok how do we show in isolated little epilogues and snippet scenes that saskia and belialah have INSANE sexual tension so that when they do get together, its weird but satisfying bc again---belialah is a demon. she's got a human form. that is not her true form. i've drawn it, it's sexy to saskia, i'll post it soon.

but i need these two to snark at each other with saskia resisting belialah's advances bc "im trying to take over the world stop distracting me" while belialah's like "SASKIA LEMME SMASH. PLEASE" until eventually it happens because they're terrible and i love them and it needs to happen, frankly. im overruling my boyfriend. at the point we are at, they are fucking already. he does not have a choice. im overruling him.

chase, if you're reading this--the goal with this first time fic is to make it plausible enough that you accept it as canon. thank you.

bc like--they're terrible. they're perfect. they've both got bratty younger sibling/cocky hotshot who thinks they're invincible kinda energy and belialah has no doubt in her mind that saskia can achieve her goals and saskia is getting someone who will stroke her ego and is having the thought of "im being recognized for how amazing i am it's about time"

the generals have made deals with saskia---saskia is planning on following through with 0% of these deals. belialah is the only one who didn't--she's here by saskia's side of her own free will.

they're fucking. at this point, they are fucking. decades of sexual tension kept alive by distance and "hello old friend" energy is suddenly coming to head with Belialah Always Being Around and saskia having to plan out her evil deeds with her being nutso devoted 24/7 and listen, man. this woman has an ego the size of the planet. she's gonna smash someone who inflates her ego, it's just how she works

ok lore dump over. sketch time now.

[the1weepinqguitar]

tally hall sketches and other assorted doodles

Here ya go guys! I also have improvement pics from last year! Almost two years in the Tally Hall fandom! Woohoo! My Marvin's CD is gonna hate me even more after all of this

A Ross sketch! I'm super proud of how it turned out! Below is a close-up!

The aforementioned close-up, showing the shading on his face and the folds of his sleeve!

Zubin! I love the side profile, and I used his picture in the MMMM booklet as a reference! Close up below, so you can see some of the more fine details/shading

the close-up!

Here's Andrew! His hair is kinda hard to not fluff-ify, but I dealt with it anyways and tried my best to keep it close to reality. Obligatory close(r)-up below.

next will be some other random stuff, mostly tally hall, but some of it is oc art

drew this drawing of Ross last September. Not amazing but very stylized, which I love/hate. the tag on the bottom left reads, "he's rather disheveled but this is the best I could do back then"

wtf is he doing? He in an action movie or something? btw this was last-year's andrew. very stylized. i hate it.

decided not to include the other last-year Rob cause i hate it deeply. this one's much better. very fluffy. i dont like the collar tho

just me poking fun at my horrendous attempts at stylizing joe. im not gonna draw him as much as the others btw.

This is from an au created by @bonkdd, but i did rob and andrew's designs bc i never saw his designs for them. i also added a lot of lore and plot stuff because i really liked the concept. in simple terms the tallies are robots that were abandoned by Marvin after he passed away so now they're falling apart n stuff without him to care for them (that's why rob hides his face). Anyways, huge thanks to Bonk for the original idea! They're a great artist, you should go check them out!

Edith, drawn/sketched with a ballpoint pen.

Another one. I like this one better, but I spent two days on this one versus a half on hour on the other so i guess it makes sense

Adrian and Reuben (OCs), done in a college-ruled notebook bc i ran out of pages in my sketchbook. next is a close-up so you can see more shading.

probably my favorite gay couple i've ever written ngl

Ace again, but wearing Reuben's favorite sweater.

Looking mighty fine!

He's lookin' tough, he's got the stuff, he's got the spiffy shades... (/lyric)

pose practice

Boll weevil, why don't you get out of your home? (/lyric)

old art jumpscare - i actually kinda like this one, might redraw it. Below is the full thing

why is zubes staring like that??? its creepy

here's another. i don't know why it's sideways. andrew is scared of joe btw, this isn't the entire drawing

Did an embossing peice. It's the Mojo Chessmaster! I tried by best to make it as detailed as possible, and I think I did pretty alright. The neck was probably the worst part to do. Below are close-ups

the head of the guitar was a pain in the ass.

This part was also pretty tricky but it came out okay. the dials at the bottom are raised as much as I could get them to go, so I'm not worried about them. My issue here was the pickups.

I also added Flansburgh's little signature guy but i drew his hair because why not? Anyways this piece took me a good hour or so to finish, I think it'll fetch a good grade (it was for my metal design class).

I'll add a sketch I just did as a bonus:

it's from a tally hall fanfic/au i made back in may after my grandpa passed away. It was a great stress-reliever and I still really like how it turned out. It's about cryptids and monsters and shit. I'll post a summary on a different post because this one was mostly for the drawings. I might post a few installments of it on my ao3. It could be a weekly thing since i usually have time on fridays to write.

Once again, a close-up is available below.

I put literal hours of research on cryptids and of the area (ann harbor, MI) while writing this fic. It was fun though, and it helped me a lot. Feel free to ask me anything about the plot or world-building !

[bi-demon-ium]

AO3 Tag Game!

Tagged by @mvshortcut :) I did it here as well but now I'm doing it for this fandom/account bc I CAN (a lot of this will be directly copy/pasted if applicable im sowwy)

How many works do you have on AO3?

116. (Including snippet collections.) For this fandom/account. Far more if you count others,

What’s your total AO3 word count?

Okay this one it won't let me separate by pseud or fandom so you're just gonna have to live with being lumped in with all my MBS and a few other misc fics at "653,461". Didn't get the other accounts though. Man, I'm a mess

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Okay, well, this one by nature is also not solely for this fandom,

(number in parentheses is number of ao3 works posted)

The Mysterious Benedict Society (116) (including snippet collections)

Ted Lasso (44) (also including snippet collections)

Instinct (2) (one is a small snippet collection--)

House MD (1)

Death by Dying (1)

Gravity Falls, technically, but it was one crossover (1)

ditto with The Legend of Zelda (1)

King Falls AM (1)

The House in the Cerulean Sea (6)

Shadowhunters (??? at least 36) (some now hidden/lost)

Professor Layton (1)

The Librarians (2)

The Sandman (1)

The Mentalist (2)

Star Trek (AOS) (1)

Sanders Sides (at least 1)

Miraculous Ladybug (1)

Rosewell: New Mexico (2)

The Dresden Files (1)

That's stuff posted to ao3/finished. There's also, technically,

for stuff I published when I was twelve and I now refuse to acknowledge (not all bc of the fandom but bc the fic was Bad):

Doctor Who

Supernatural

Sherlock

Psych

Castle

Welcome to Night Vale

Avengers

A Series of Unfortunate Events

And then stuff I've written for but never finished:

Warehouse 13

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016)

Dirk Gently (2010)

SurrealEstate

Zoo (podcast)

Once Upon a Time

Scooby Doo

Person of Interest

The Goes Wrong Show

Spy Kids (???)

Ace Attorney

The Adventure Zone

Criminal Minds

Star Trek (TOS, TNG, and DS9)

Haven

MacGyver

Trollhunters

exactly one (1) joke The Magnus Archives fic

Percy Jackson and the Olympians + The Kane Chronicles + Tales of Apollo

Leverage

Pushing Daisies

The Sarah Jane Adventures

Megamind

Bones

Avatar: the Last Airbender

Lucifer

Some of these are deeply questionable and/or only have like two (2) wips or even posted works at most, but I'm thorough. Also, I will write about almost anything bc my brain loves to process things like this. I may have even missed something

Top five fics by kudos:

I was gonna have the snippets collections not count but I've got so many exact ties it doesn't matter.

gemini schmemini (136)

kate and her bucket sitting in a tree, S-P-Y-I-N-G (98)

caught (81)

[insert poetic title here] (81)

affectionate gestures<3 (81)

of rube goldbergs and weather machines (74)

tumblr snippets: mbs edition (74)

keeping out the cold (70)

birdsong (70)

Number Two Regrets Her Life Choices™ (68)

timeline? i don't know her (68)

That's actually 6 bc I made a mistake but I've already color coded them so whatever

Do you respond to comments?

I really try to, but then I get all in my head about it and/or am really really tired and put it off so long it then feels like it would be weird to respond because it's been forever. However, if there's a direct question or something I want to address/respond to, as in, I have something particularly unique to say or a question to answer, then I'll usually respond really fast.

And this fandom's smaller so if I'm slightly more likely to respond 😭

Also when I know who's commenting personally which is al ot more likely

What’s the fic with the angstiest ending you’ve ever written?

Honestly, I'm not a huge unhappy ending person, but. uhhh

solo

bring me home (in a blinding dream)

hollowed

seasalt

checkmate

dark side of the moon

wretched clarity

cruel kindness

green-eyed monster

the naming of cats

curled & crushed

oops

I didn't even look at the snippet collections lkgfhjh

Do you write crossovers?

Not often, but I rotate them in my brain. Honestly, though, I'm more inclined to write a fusion than a crossover proper. And even so, I tend to just be thinking about it rather than actually writing it. I've only written one crossover in recent memory (recently, that is) and it was mostly a joke about a shared actress made into actual angst. :)

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

Yeah lmao

Do you write smut?

😏 ......not for this fandom. That I'd post anyway

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

👁️👁️ not. Directly in this fandom

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!! also not in this fandom

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

In this fandom? Nicholas/Milligan. Overall, ever? Recency bias/hyperfixationitis says whatever I'm into the most at the moment. But generally for MBS I prefer gen (although I've written a lot of Nicholas/Milligan, that's partially because it's blissfully easier to find gen already)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

:(

SO many

Particularly minotaur, the dearly departed, and the "paralyzed" series. Oh and the hanahaki AU

What are your writing strengths?

I think I can write a really funny string of dialogue, and I'm also fond of fun metaphors, both in the elegant poetic way and in the more Douglas Adams/Terry Pratchett way (which is to say, still potentially elegant but also comedic as hell)

What are your writing weaknesses?

Motivating myself to write anything; being overly self-indulgent

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I'm extremely bad at linguistics in general, so if I must include someone talking in another language in my fic, I think I'd tend to cheat and do italics or some other indication that this is 'in another language' (ie "Where are you going?" she asked in Russian), but that's admittedly a lazy approach. But I also think it's probably better than butchering it with an auto-translator? Also, when people just include the translation in the end notes, even with a link (although that makes it marginally better) it breaks the flow of the story and makes it hard to read. Making an effort to at least match grammar is good (which I would do if it was for longer than a single scene, probably) but I think the best solution is when people know what they're doing and like, have an actual translation with a little html code so you can click on it and it reveals what it means? Or if you're clever, revealing what it means using context around it, but that has its own limitations. So that both like, uses the actual language and doesn't break up the flow. It balances accessibility, flow, and respect for the other language in question well. But you've got to both know what you're doing with the language (either asking someone/hiring someone/knowing the language yourself) and the html (although there are guides for that you'd have to spend time figuring it out + know it exists in the first place to look). And this is fanfiction, something we ultimately do for free in our spare time, so the lazy approach, I think, can be understandable. Maybe not in every context, but it's not worth stressing a lot over in a few random lines or anything, you know? It is really cool when people do know a language well enough to include it properly in a fic, though, it can say a lot about a character or dynamic; and their background(s) and like. it's neat :)

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Ever? Doctor Who. In a shitty little notebook in middle school. Then there was some Star Trek (both TNG and TOS) and Avatar: the Last Airbender and Marvel and such, and then Supernatural (my first smut? extremely terrible Destiel smut. rip) and I think the first thing I ever posted was Welcome to Night Vale? Not sure.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

Oh, man. I have no idea. Here's a few favorites from this fandom:

cain's lament

minotaur

shades of green

a hope in hell

Number Two Regrets Her Life Choices™

tagging:

PLEASE, if you want to do this, I'm begging you, tag me in it and do it. i'm too tired to come up with names im so sorry

[save-the-spiral]

okay im just now getting into w101 fanfic even tho ive had an account since 2008.

FIRST OF ALL.

holy shit did you know theres an official wizard101 fanfic page STILL HOSTED ON THEIR SITE updated as recently as 3 years ago. what the hell

your nb wizard fic where they become a prof wrenched my heart open. belladonna crisp trans headcanon is so goddamn real

cantrips. like. okay. so. let me explain this one: i just got back into the game like a month ago and cantrips BLEW MY MIND. as a kid i LOVED the spell quests where the rules of w101 were seemingly broken and spells were cast outside of battle. it always felt like early w101 "deep lore" was about the spell circles -- go into Dalea Falmea's tower with the classic textures, for example, and there's a really fascinating visual that represents all the possible points of the like... swinging compass thing. it got removed in the new texture rerelease but it's super striking! we see the spell circle ALL THE TIME and we have NO IDEA what the symbols on it mean and why and then when cantrips were introduced and we can just. DO ANY MAGIC ANYWHERE?????? that blew my mind is there fanfic with cantrips or that examines spell circles (more spell circle headcanons: the only reason such a young wizard is allowed to fight monsters is because the spell circle stops these beasts from tearing them limb from limb, instead forcing them to fight thru the magical proxies of cards. another hc: being sent back to a world's hub when you run out of HP is the spell circle activating a failsafe for you.) (be interesting to see a p101 fic which deals w the pirate like. PERSONALLY SMACKING PEOPLE AROUND vs the wizard w their protective magics... that always interested me) but yeah! cantrips, archmastery, all the Weird Edge-case Lore

wizard101 fanfic is so real im gonna post a homestuck crossover soon

HI <- saw this ask and forgot to respond/post it!

YEAH .

I've never actually checked out the official fanfic page!

unfortunately i have memory issues so i cant remember if/when i wrote this fic but based if i did

I Also Love The Edgecase lore and the stuff abt the like, constraints of the game. which i know you can easily bypass in fanfic (like saying the pet snacks are objects, not cards, etc) but its FUN to work with a unique and interesting system already implemented in the game as the structure of this universe. Also YEAH . pirate101 fics are so different bc when i write them i haven't really written any with gunslingers so its all Up Close and personal fighting (i have a pirate101 tag i think you can look through for that, also one extended fic on my Ao3 for it)

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS POST THAT HOMESTUCK CROSSOVER FUCK YEAH

[louiscarrotsxoxo]

louiscarrotsxoxo pinned post!!

includes: masterlist, general about me, likes/dislikes, what my blog will have/writing

hi darlings this is louiscarrotsxoxo's blog! i mainly go by jamila/mila but yall can call me jam or moo boo if want!

about me so yall can know me better!

i'm seventeen as of before october, im bisexual (heavy male preference) i go by she/her/they/them, i am a black american 🫶🏾 and i am trying to be a positive force in the world, always here to emulate love, peace, and kindness and forgiveness in this dark and crooked world! i'm a music lover, my fav color is pink, and im going to college to be an NP (hopefully i'll make it <3) and i literally love blogging, shitposting, freaking tf out on feed, all of dat hehe.

likes and dislikes

likes:

generally: the color pink, books, writing, art & music, dancing, positive vibes, movies, periwinkle, chris sturniolo, harry styles (hehe)

likes: musicans: harry styles, louis tomlinson, liam payne, zayn malik, niall horan, 1D, lorde, olivia rodrigo, taylor swift, 5sos, katy perry, R5, little mix, fifth harmony, paramore, johnnie guilbert, sabrina carpenter, the neighborhood, noah finnce and so many more!

likes: tv: girl meets world, jessie, star vs the forces of evil, a lull in the sea, toradora, spongebob, TMNT 2012, strawberry shortcake, barbie, winx, ever after high

likes: movies: under the amalfi sun, under the riccione sun, barbie princess charm school, monster high thirteen wishes, barbie swan lake, bratz girls really rock, bratz kids sleepover

dislike: racism, homophobia, terfs, zionists (literally, fuck off), sexism, haters, bullies, people who bully people for the fun of it, negative people, manipulators, abusers, gaslighters, mean people in general, mood-ruiners, people who literally have nothing good to say

fics

now i only write larry stylinson (for now)

but in the future i could?? possibly write chris sturniolo fic?? idk dont count on it tho bc i cant write straight stuff for shit LOL

gentle reminder that all of my fics are au's, they're not meant to represent the celebs/people irl or in reality whatsoever, think of them as a totally different realm of 'things that would never happen in the history of ever'

i mainly write: long fics over 30K at the least, fantasy, romance (#1), friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, fics with really super deep lore, fantastical things such as:

princes/royalty/magic/vampires/superpowers/supernatural

my fics!

also before i put them here, here's a link to my longer old pinned post that has all of the links for future and current fics!

berryhill (friends to lovers, childhood friends, romance 70K+, wip)

blue ice (friends to lovers, murder mystery, romance action/adventure, 30K+ , wip)

the secret charm (enemies to lovers, action/adventure, royalty, fantasy, lots of lore/background info)

where to find me + my writing/stuff i make!

ok i dont have any social medias bc i feel like i dont need them, but i am on some VERY obscure places where i write/interact

quotev @.stylez

wattpad @.louiscarrotsxoxo

ao3 @.louiscarrotsxoxo

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

I think the difference between PC and other long fics is Twitter. There is a huge drag queen au that is very long, but it’s only on here and ao3. The ex fundamentalist Christian Lady!Stede au is only on ao3 and it’s got like 10 active readers. Twitter, and the nature of SMAU’s made the monster. It’s like a loot box. Lottie is basically using random updates to trigger the same part of your brain gambling does until people get addicted to it. It’s like doing drugs or buying scratchers.

i don’t think the author is intentionally triggering dopamine hits like that im pretty sure they’re just a fan whose fic got unexpectedly popular. they probably post randomly bc they just update when they have enough stuff (edits or prose or whatever) for an update lol

ur not wrong tho that it’s triggering the same part of the brain that gets addicted to stuff. but that’s more of a twitter problem and just a problem with modern social media as a whole. that and the algorithm creating a coladas feedback loop are probably why this fic is so popular (and also a lot of people having bad taste lol)

[clementinecoastline]

20 questions for writers

i was tagged by @isnt-it-pretty! thank you for the tag!!! this looks so fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

currently 4 (but there's another on the way soon)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

30,992 atm !!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i've posted my work for haikyuu!! and genshin, but i also write for mdzs/cql and honestly. whatever fandom gets my attention. (i have an inuyasha wip im working on, and some orv stuff too)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

i actually only have 4 works but:

follow the tide (with the monsters on your shoulder) for genshin

the world is simplified for kings (to them, all men are subjects) for haikyuu!! (yeah the title is really long but. i'm fond of it)

to touch the sun (and keep on soaring) for haikyuu!!

i will die facing the sun for haikyuu!!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

as far as i know, i've responded to every comment i've received !!! i love engaging with my readers. it's also easier since i don't have any really popular fics.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't tend to write unhappy endings and i also only have 4 fics posted. but to touch the sun might have the angstiest ending in the sense that tooru's issues still aren't resolved by the end of the fic. my snf au (current wip) ends on a bittersweet note on account of the mcd inherent to the premise.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

my happiest ending so far is probably the world is simplified for kings, since the brazil fling get to have a nice time as they fall in love with volleyball. i will die facing the sun also has an optimistic ending, but it isn't guaranteed that oikawa will win at the olympics.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i'm not well known enough for that LOL

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i haven't yet but it's in the cards !!!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i don't write crossovers for the most part. i write fusions/AUs and those can get pretty wild. the craziest is probably my wolf's rain au. i don't think i'll ever write a crossover but i wouldn't count it out!! i've read some good ones. maybe i can be convinced.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of. i don't think any of my writing has enough traction for that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope but maybe ill translate some of my own work. and i'm open to it if anyone offers.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

none currently posted!!! but i do have a project i'm working on with a friend.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

all-time favorite is really hard bc ranking the strength of my hyperfixations against each other is just cruel. my all-time favorites (plural) are probably haikaveh, iwaoi, and levtsukki.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

ideally. follow the tide is not one of these. i have a lot planned out that i just haven't written or posted. the one that i probably will never finish is living tomorrow. it's an iwaoi relationship study that i really, really want to write but have lost my connection with. i need to find my thoughts on them again and recalibrate and rewrite my current draft if i'm ever going to finish it. but maybe i will!!

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm not sure. i think i have a remarkable ability to commit to the bit with weird fusions and au's but i haven't really posted those. no matter how silly the idea, i can usually get pretty invested (like my wolf's rain au writing and fanart), and that doesn't really depend on how interested other people are in it. support is nice but not always necessary.

one of my main goals in writing is to get in a character's headspace. i'm a big fan of immersion and understanding who they are and how they think. i try to capture that in writing while adding lots of small personal details to help flesh out the character's life. based on some of the comments i've gotten, i haven't completely failed.

of course, if anyone has any ideas on what my writing strengths are, they're free to let me know <- blatant fishing for compliments

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

erm. well i have thousands of words in unpublished wips so. probably motivation. poor planning. a lot of it is inexperience. my imagery, repetitiveness, poor dialogue or description. those are all things to work on. if i were to look back at my published works, i'd probably cite a lot of the things i've improved on since then.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

oh no this one's controversial. well, i think that if you're writing dialogue in english (or whatever language the fic is in) and your characters are speaking another language. you have a few choices. if the characters say something in another language but you translate it, i would italicize that (ie. "Thank you," he said in Spanish.) if the characters are saying something in another language and it's written in that, i don't really mind whether it's italicized or not, BUT i think it has to be well executed. sometimes that depends on using the term properly, or also on. how in character it is for that character to do that. as a bilingual person, switching between languages/speaking other languages can get pretty complicated, so it really all depends on execution. i don't think that everything has to be translated in the text at that moment, but i think that everything should be translated eventually. footnotes are a good idea!!!! or it should be revealed later in the text, or in the author's notes. but i don't like it when it's never revealed or translated at all.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

warrior cats on ff.net but we dont talk about that. haikyuu on ao3. i wrote some inuyasha stuff in google docs in between but never finished or posted it.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

that i've posted? follow the tide. that i'm writing? ack. i really really like the snf au!!! but i like a lot of my other ideas too (daemon au my beloved). im very fond of my mdzs pacific rim au.

i'm tagging @conartisthaiji @monstrsball @wormcoded and anyone else who wants to participate !!

[angelboybreakdowns]

whenever you rb one of my posts i’m like yess picked a good one 😌 also gimme more fic recommendations bc i am fighting for my life with ao3 filters to find some and the ones you sent were fun

im the same way when you rb my posts 🤝 also i dont have that many recs bc i just. fully keep forgetting to bookmark fics i like and then i cant remember the title and i lose them forever its just awful. but uh

spirit of the west (wouldnt be surprised if youve read this one already its super popular. but if you havent you should its really good !!!! dean is a cowboy :))

meet cute again wouldnt be surprised if youve already read this one. its great though very sweet its a soulmate au and theres kind of a twist :)

where black stars rise this is by the same person who wrote sotw actually. amazing beautiful showstopping incredible

thisll be the day that i die idk if ive recommended this to you already. its possible i have but regardless its SO GOOD and its so so awful and sad and heartbreaking but then it gets happy again so everythings ok

jack goes to kindergarten this one has kid!jack which im not like the worlds biggest fan of but its great its hilarious. dean and cas are not well adjusted individuals and everyone who isnt a hunter would be unnerved and/or annoyed by them and honestly i think we shouldve gotten more of that in the show. all of tfw are kinda just like weird and slightly off putting if you dont know theyre monster hunters why are ppl so ok w them. unrealistic

sorry ik i said i didnt have many recs and then gave you 5. i was wrong 👍

[nikomedes]

(i am sending you writing asks) can i get a uhhhhh... number #1, #13, #19, and a #23 please thank you

[drive thru speaker crackle] ask machine broke

jk thank u luke!!! i am sorry this is so fucking long

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

so adhd is a disorder where--

im joking but uh. off the top of my head:

fallout 3 mlw/charon fic that i just. have put way too much time into mostly as a challenge to myself to understand the ship (13k+ words)

disco elysium time loop fic which is so close to done. its short and sweet. CAN I CROSS THE FINISH LINE? no (4k words)

pokemon swsh trainer/hop fanfic about their friendship during the gym challenge as reflected on by hop as they prepare to part ways for college. another "haha im playing this game this might be a fun challenge" that got so goddamn out of hand (8k words)

murderbot fanfic ive posted about before where ART tries to hold hands. its also short, mostly written, and something i SHOULD finish. but will i? (i keep saying "no" but i mean "hopefully") (3k words)

original story closing the book on a character i played in a dark fantasy intrigue ttrpg. hey! this game ended 4 months ago! why is this still not done (12k+ words)

a visual novel? a whole goddamn visual novel about h3x, another ttrpg character? this game has officially been ended prematurely due to gm burnout so realistically i will prob never finish this. but also, i kind of want to just to teach myself how to make a visual novel? OOPS? (??? words bc figuring that out would require booting three different programs. but it's at least 15k+)

my locked tomb western au fanfic that i started for the 2021 tltbb and then basically dropped due to mixed reception and getting burned out on that fandom. another project i will probably never finished but with the new book coming out who tf knows (22k+ words)

an outlined lesbian southern horror novel about a woman being seduced by a haunted house. this project is so exciting but. please scroll up. when am i gonna start it. and DON'T say nanowrimo i'll cry (2300 words)

worldbuilding for a beam saber ttrpg game i want to run very badly but realistically won't run for 3 years. but yknow. its not like ive got anything else to write (2k words)

worldbuilding im behind on for a magical realism 1930s monster of the week ttrpg game im running this fall. i literally need to get this to the players by the end of this week ideally lmfao (??? words bc its spread out over 3 documents and a google slides presentation)

more. there's more. im just going to stop now but i need u to know there's more

13. Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

much to the chagrin of anyone who wants me to, you know. make a living writing, publish again, "do something with my talent," i almost exclusively write WAY TOO LONG stories about the tabletop roleplaying games i'm in on my wordpress. i also write approximately one fanfiction every two years, mostly for wildly different fandoms, here on my ao3.

i would honestly say about 40% of the writing i do is just for me? (unless we want to talk about the nonexistent traffic to that wordpress blog or how often my fellow players have to go "alex i simply do not have the time to read 20k words about the blorbo you created for our game," in which case it could be argued that 90% of my writing is only consumed by me slkdjlfjg) i think it's super important to write for yourself and not attach your enjoyment of writing to engagement/web traffic. the internet will make u insane about that

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

oh man this character has a complex relationship w their mom

characters talking "flatly" or delivering something deadpan

"trudged" (insert paul bettany's monologue about trudging from a knight's tale here)

"the moral of the story is, it's not about building something that outlives you, it's about enjoying the life you're living with the people you love" character arc (i stole this arc from my life)

having characters do fucked up and evil things to coffee bc i can't stand the taste of it

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

i'm restraining myself only to what i've already listed above. the visual novel is the oldest, bc i love my terrible son and i do actually really want to learn how to write and program VNs

[aliferous-ly]

I've never really asked for a drabble before... If it's okay with you, could you do 7 "I almost lost you" and 32 "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified" with Logan and Deceit? I just kinda thought that it had the potential to make some angst with a happy ending. Oh and I only found you recently, but I love the writing that I've seen so far. I always love finding amazing writers. (I'm sorry, I'm a total suck up)

im gonna start this with if you’re on mobile, i am So Sorry

i started this and was like “ha im getting a little carried away” and then went “oh no” 

and thank u dear!! that’s v sweet of u awe 

summary: Declan is a loud and proud aromantic. Then he realizes why he feels weird, and off, and awkward around his best friend, Logan, and his world starts to crumble. 

warnings: f word twice, lying, parent being imprisoned, angst, questioning identity, if there’s anything else lmk!!

It starts, Declan thinks, when Logan smiles. 

The situation starts out innocuous -- they’re sitting in Logan’s room, Declan tossing a tennis ball up and catching it unsuccessfully, making a right disaster of Logan’s room with all the objects he keeps knocking to the floor. Logan, naturally, continues doing his homework. 

And they’re just -- talking. 

Declan likes to think his world should shift on a more momentous occasion, maybe with fireworks, fingers brushing against one another dramatically, Jason Mraz playing in the background. 

But it’s the smallest thing. Declan throws the tennis ball up in the middle of his sentence -- “You can’t tell me you hate white pines, they have the softest needles” -- and he misses it on the way down. 

So he takes a tennis ball to the face and sits up, sputtering, rubbing at his nose, arm reaching out to snatch it before it rolls too far. 

Logan chokes out a laugh, eyes squinty and wrinkled at the edges. His laugh fills the room for a few thrilling moments and Declan thinks it’s the most beautiful sound in the world and he can’t stop staring at Logan’s engaging face, in the upturn of his lips and dimples carved in his cheeks. 

He’s radiant. 

Declan’s heart squeezes, lungs filling with something heavier than air, a foreign feeling washing through his veins. Like rose petals or sunlight. Woodsmoke or freshly fallen snow. 

The gears in his chest shift and settle and he feels… right. More right than he’s ever been. 

Which is, of course, why fear swiftly follows this gorgeous wash of emotions, because this is unusual and anything unusual is often bad. 

Declan forces down the incoming wave of anxiety, schooling his expression into one of smooth disdain. 

Just in time, too, because Logan opens his mouth and says, “It was only a matter of time until you paid for your crimes.”

“I’m too pretty to die,” Declan replies, thanking the heavens that while his brain may be steadily turning into mush (have Logan’s eyes always been that striking? Or his shoulders that broad?) his tongue still works. 

“Implying Death themself has a type, intriguing,” Logan says. He flashes a look over his computer, the after effects of joy still written on his features. “Bold of you to declare what Death likes.” 

Declan tries for a smirk but can feel the way his mouth turns to genuine grin, the traitor. “Aw, Logie, are you saying I’m not everyone’s type?” 

“That would be rather ironic, wouldn’t it?” Logan says wryly. He types away at his computer, dutiously finishing an English assignment that Declan is currently ignoring for bigger and better things. “The aromantic everyone pines over.” 

That strikes an odd chord in Declan’s chest, like he’s a half-tone off; not quite wrong, but not quite right, either. His expression must change, because Logan pauses in his typing. He blinks at Declan. “Something wrong?” 

Of course, that’s when Declan’s brain decides that those words are simply too much, too much, his shoulders tightening, back tensing. It’s like his rib cage is squeezing his vital organs, which seems rather counterintuitive. He hates this unknown, this awkward buzz against his skin, the prickling feeling through his bones. 

The resounding crash of everything happening all at once is overwhelming and Declan can’t seem to decide whether to sit as still as humanly possible or bolt. 

Or, of course, do what he does best. 

Lie. 

“I forgot to do something for my mom,” Declan says, barely registering the words before they fall from his lips. He hasn’t lied to Logan in a very, very long time (he knows it’s because they have been best friends for ages, but his mind twists it into something of a foreshadow, even though it’s not, it’s not) and the resurgence of his bad habits leaves a nasty taste in his mouth, but. Desperate times. Desperate measures. 

“Oh,” Logan says, disappointed, and Declan longs to explain -- what? 

He angrily shoves the emotions deep into his chest. If he can’t explain them, he’s not going to give them the right of control over his actions. 

(He ignores the prevalent fact that he has just lied to his best friend in order to escape his presence, but denial, evidently, is not just a river in Egypt). 

“Sorry,” Declan spits out, meaning so much more than it seems. He stands, grabs his backpack, shoving papers and folders into it haphazardly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow,” Logan calls out hollowly. Declan takes that as his leave and he slips out Logan’s bedroom door, backpack in tow, keys clicking in his pocket. 

Something deep inside him aches. But he doesn’t know why. 

Frustrated, Declan gets into his car and slams the door shut, fingers white-knuckled against the steering wheel. He takes a breath. He’s fine, he’s fine. He’s probably just sick, or something. 

Or something. 

Not for the first time, Declan longs for a working aux connection. 

Because flicking through radio stations does not help. 

Lewis Capaldi croons Someone you loved on one, Sam Smith singing Dancing with a Stranger. He woefully flips through two channels on commercial break, groaning when the last one has Adele, which, really?

He remembers Virgil’s favorite station, and turns up the volume to forty, My Chemical Romance’s Mama screaming from his speakers. He pulls into his driveway with Hallelujah by Panic! at the Disco blowing his ears out when he remembers that Logan once spent hours rambling about Brenden Urie and a conspiracy about curses and he slams his palms on his steering wheel, furious. 

Can he not escape Logan for a moment? 

As Declan slams the car door shut, throwing his backpack over his shoulders, and freezes at the sight of the stupid Beware, dog sign that Logan had vandelized to read Beware, snake, he realizes that no, he really can’t. Because Logan is his best friend, his favorite person, and his life is irreversibly intertwined with Logan unless he up and leaves with absolutely nothing, starting from scratch. Which would be worse than death. 

He trudges up the stairs like a funeral dirge and when his door shuts with a click he leans against it, steadily sliding down until his knees almost touch his chin. 

“Fuck,” Declan says out loud, unable to keep the emotion termoil inside like it should be. 

His phone buzzes where it fell from his hands, angry against the carpet. Declan sighs. Rubs a hand down his face. And picks up the phone. 

There’s one text from Logan that reads, “are you okay? I’m not irritated but you left rather…” 

Well. The beginning reads as such. Declan assumes there’s more, but he’s unwilling to open it for the time being. 

Then he has three from Virgil, two of which reference an obscure meme video and the third which reads “r u home i wanna play dark souls on ur ps4”. 

And there’s a text from Patton asking if he wants normal chocolate chips or mint ones, and a followup that proclaims “never mind i got both! :3c”. 

He sends a quick “no” back to Virgil and merely opens the texts from Patton, leaving only Logan’s unopened. I’m not irritated but you left rather… suddenly? 

A strange emotion flutters about Declan’s chest and he groans. He doesn’t feel this way about his other friends, not even Virgil, who he’s known for ages and has gone through four too many devastating arguments to not be close with. Nor does he feel like this with Patton, his brother. Those bonds are, he’s certain, platonic--

Declan lurches forwards with a gasp, the realization bowling him over and leaving him breathless. He curls his fingers into the carpet, focusing on the texture instead of the immediate swirl of panic. 

He -- does he have a crush on Logan? Him, Declan, the aromantic king, who once boasted the world could never produce a human Declan could fall in love with?

And it doesn’t track with him falling for Logan either because Declan would have loved him months earlier, suddenly falling in love with someone he’s loved platonically… it just doesn’t make sense. Declan can’t wrap his mind around it. 

Maybe he’s just reading the emotions wrong. How can he -- what can he do that -- which -- 

What would Logan do? 

An experiment, Declan’s mind supplies helpfully, so, well. Declan pressed his back against the wood of his door and thinks. 

Hypothesis: he’s in love with Logan. 

In love? A very rational part of his brain yells. You were talking about a crush before!

So Declan thinks, and revises. Hypothesis: he’s feeling romantic attraction to Logan. 

Then he takes a few minutes trying to remember the following step in the scientific method and ends up looking it up on his phone, and it’s really long so he’s just going to cut some corners. 

Procedure: 

Well, Declan can’t think of any way to do this physically without making an entire fool of himself, so he changes the experiment into a thought experiment. 

Procedure: Consider emotions of other relationships and compare to feelings for Logan. 

Okay. Declan settles. He considers. He tries to imagine holding hands with Virgil and giving him flowers, but he can’t really picture giving Logan flowers either, so if it’s weird for both -- but he wants to hold Logan’s hand, not Virgil’s, and sometimes Patton’s, and Patton is his brother, he knows for sure his emotions are strictly platonic. So if Patton is the control group, the certainty of platonic emotions, Virgil is the one with normal emotions, and Logan has some weird emotions, so if Virgil and Logan’s are merely two different shades of friendship then Declan will know. 

Declan closes his eyes and imagines kissing Logan, because that’s what romantic partners do, right? He imagines stepping closer to him until there’s inches of space between them.. Declan thinks about leaning in, brushing lips before pressing in, heat curling in his chest and oh god, oh god Declan’s face is on fire. 

His eyes shoot open and he can only imagine how panicked he must look right now. He presses his hand against his chest, taking deep breaths. Then, reluctantly, he thinks about kissing Virgil -- nope, nope, eugh he physically shakes his head, gut rolling uncomfortably. 

So that is a big contender for Declan has romantic feelings for Logan. 

He sighs and clunks his head against the door. This sucks. Declan hates feelings. 

The door downstairs sounds, opening and closing, followed by a resounding, “HEY, CICI, LOVE YOU!” 

Dee sighs, a smile flickering across his face. He pushes to his feet and exits his room, wandering downstairs, aloof. 

“Hey Pat,” he says, leaning against a wall. 

“Ci, I’m making lots of cookies!” Patton declares, beaming at him, and Declan’s heart drops. 

His expression must, too, because Patton’s features are suddenly painted in concern. “What’s wrong?” 

“I should be asking you that,” Declan says, and he feels bad, unexpectedly, for not replying to Patton’s text earlier. “Lots of cookies? With mint and chocolate chips? Enough to feed an army?” 

Patton’s arms wilt and Declan reads the tremor in his shoulders, the glisten of his eyes. Patton tries for a smile and misses by a mile. 

Declan crosses to where Patton stands in five steps, wrapping his arms around his smaller brother, pressing his cheek against Patton’s head. “What’s wrong?” 

Patton takes a shuddering breath, returning the hug. “Nothing, really. I’m glad you’re home.” 

“Ah,” Declan says. He tightens his grip on Patton. “Do you want help?” 

“No.” Patton presses his face into Declan’s chest. He’s shaking, ever so slightly. “Can you talk with me at the counter, though?” 

“Of course,” Declan agrees, mentally side-tabling his emotional turmoil. 

“Okay,” Patton says. He’s quiet for a few more moments, then says, “And Steven Universe later?” 

“Anything,” Declan says. He makes a face. The word had slipped out unbidden, but Patton doesn’t tease him for it. 

“Alright.” Patton pulls away, takes a breath. “I’m about to make the best damn cookies the world has ever seen.” 

“Damn straight,” Declan says, grinning. Patton pauses for just one moment more before moving to the kitchen, dropping various ingredients onto the counter and moving smoothly to gather more. 

Declan wonders at his influence on Patton’s vulgar mouth, then shrugs. Patton’s a teenager. He can do what he wants. 

“Weren’t you hanging out with Logan?” Patton asks conversationally. He’s pulling down bowls and sugar, obviously expecting easy small talk. And normally Logan is easy for Declan to talk about. He talks about him all the time.  

So when Declan winces, Patton turns and addresses him with full attention, brows furrowed. “What? What happened?” 

“I…” Declan considers for a moment to just lie about it but dismisses the thought. This is Patton. “I think I have a romantic attraction for him.” 

Saying it out loud only cements the certainty in Declan’s chest. No, he hasn’t quite completed the experiment, but he just… knows. 

The knowledge is both relieves and spikes his anxiety about the whole situation. 

“Oh,” Patton says, eyes wide. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Not really,” Declan says honestly. 

“Alright,” Patton says. He turns back around and a wave of affection flows through Declan. “How did Roman do on his audition?” 

Declan hums, eternally grateful for Patton’s ability to turn the conversation away. They talk about Roman’s skill as an actor for a few minutes, jumping to Patton’s involvement in VEX robotics (focusing on the robotics instead of the people) and they kill about forty minutes with Patton talking about his baby bot, Pat Jr. 

When the clock strikes seven, Declan throws together two grilled cheese sandwiches and they eat in front of Steven Universe and the gems, Declan stretched out along the couch and Patton creating a throne of blankets for himself. 

“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” Patton murmurs, eyes never straying from the bursts of pastel on the screen, “but if you do have a romantic attraction to Logan it’s okay. You weren’t wrong in saying you’re aromantic. Because that fits you, you like it. There’s just more strings attached than you originally thought.” 

Declan blinks, the smallest smile growing on his face. “Thanks, Pat.” 

Patton hugs a pillow, eyes bright. “Love you, Ci.” 

Declan pushes his foot against Patton’s blanket pile in response. 

--

“Do you think we have to move?” Patton says, three hours into their movie night. 

Declan breathes, slowly inhaling as if it gives him an excuse to not reply. “I didn’t. I don’t want to. But probably.” 

“That’s why you haven’t told anyone,” Patton says. He shifts, turning to look at Declan. Declan maintains eye contact with the screen, despite having seen this movie countless times. “And why you told me to keep it under wraps.” 

“Yes,” Declan says, because really, he lies to the world, but he doesn’t lie to Patton. 

He tries not to lie to Patton. 

“But something changed yesterday.” Patton’s not asking questions. Somehow, he just knows, despite being left out of the loop. “And you were going to tell Logan today.” 

“Yes,” Declan says. Static thrums through his veins. Aladdin ignores a buzzing genie on screen, swatting him away to benefit his own desires. 

“What happened?” 

“Mom’s not getting out,” Declan says simply, because that’s it, really. Their mother is not getting out of jail. And with no father, their final hope is their uncle, three states over. Their father’s brother. 

Two months away from eighteen, and Declan is forced to concede. 

“When?” Patton asks. He’s trembling, but he’s not crying. Declan knows that will come later. 

“Because of the legal mixups and leaning on Sasha, two weeks, probably,” Declan says. Sasha is, of course, their next door neighbor, the crazy cat lady of the street who “watches” the boys “all the time”. 

“Two weeks,” Patton whispers. There’s a sheen in his eyes. Declan tries not to look but his gaze is like a magnet and Patton stares, stares, stares. “That’s not enough time. That’s not…”

Declan closes his eyes. 

He really thought he would win. 

He thought he could win. 

They only had to last two more months. His deadbeat mom had to last two months and they couldn’t even keep the legal proceedings--

He takes a breath. “Uncle Thomas is nice, at least.” 

“I don’t want uncle Thomas,” Patton snaps. 

“Well we don’t have a choice, Pat,” Declan bites out, stomach rolling at the words, eyes snapping open. 

Patton recoils, hurt flickering behind his eyes, but Declan knows it’s not enough to overpower the fire roaring in Patton’s lungs. “We did, we could have put more savings into mom’s defense, we could have found a place to live before it was our last resort but now we have to tell all our friends that we’re moving hundreds of miles away in two weeks!” 

“Mom doesn’t deserve to get out,” Declan spits. 

“I don’t CARE.” Patton’s fingers are clenched in fists. He stands. “I don’t care if mom deserves it or not. We deserve to stay.” 

“The world doesn’t work like that,” Declan says. 

Patton opens his mouth and snaps it shut, obviously restraining himself. A thousand emotions swim behind his eyes. Declan hates every single moment but he doesn’t say a word. 

He leaves. 

He leaves Declan sitting alone on the couch, watching Patton’s favorite movie. A door slams shut and Declan exhales heavily. They don’t get into fights, it’s just not -- Patton’s normally too upbeat to bother, Patton hates being angry, Declan normally doesn’t -- there’s nothing to get angry about, not in the grand scheme of things. They share easily, they have chaotic conversations, they… 

They’re fighting. 

Declan buries his head in his hands. He was too hopeful, too caught up on the possibility of the future to notice the sinkhole of reality. 

He really thought -- things would work out, Patton has his lucky charm of a personality and Declan works, he works hard, so things should -- Declan’s a senior in high school, halfway through the first semester, he should be worried about grades and school dances and friends and crushes and --

Logan. 

Declan curls, releasing something like a sob or maybe a dry heave. Whether or not he’s in love with Logan (most signs point to yes but there’s no way Declan’s addressing that) he still loves Logan, he loves being with him and talking to him and ordering his ice cream before Logan gets there to see the surprised and fond expression cross his face. 

Two weeks? 

To say goodbye to his best friend? 

Before moving, before picking up his entire life and his family (just -- Patton. Just Patton) and going somewhere Else?

Declan doesn’t feel like an adult. 

He doesn’t want to be an adult, either. 

Even if the world is asking him to be one. 

--

“You’re acting strange,” Logan observes. 

Declan shrugs. “I’m always strange.” He takes advantage of shoving fries in his face to avoid expounding. 

Logan sighs and puts down his burger. “Declan. Something’s going on.” 

Several somethings are going on, actually, but thanks. Declan shrugs again. “Haven’t been getting much sleep.” Which is a true statement. He’s written about ten different ways to tell Logan he’s leaving, nine of which are ripped up in the trash, one of which Declan just burned because he doesn’t want even scraps of that disaster to exist. 

Five days to go and Declan still hasn’t told him. Five days.  They don’t have many classes together, otherwise Logan would have pieced together the weird treatment from the teachers. Declan wonders if just disappearing into the void is an alright way to go, but a little Patton in his head chastises him for even considering it. 

Then again, at this rate…

“Hm,” Logan says. He has a thoughtful look on his face that’s absolutely devastating to Declan’s heart and general health and coherence of thought, let alone considering what’s about to come out of his mouth. “Is there a reason?” 

Declan considers, eyes narrowing as he stares at nothing. “I neglect to answer that question.” 

“So yes,” Logan says. The words fall from his lips with crushing sorrow. He takes a breath. “Why aren’t you telling me?” 

“Telling you what?” Declan says, internally wincing at the hurt flickering through Logan’s eyes.  

“Okay,” Logan says instead. He turns back to his food. 

They eat the rest of the meal in silence. 

-- 

Declan watches absentmindedly as Logan attempts to make a tower out of pens and pencils. With the addition of Roman’s copious amounts of colored pens, the tower is quite impressive. 

Two days. 

(Two Days).

Declan’s all packed. Sorta. Not really. He’s going to skip some classes in the future and pack all at once, throwing everything into the boxes (the empty boxes lining his room), not caring if anything breaks. 

He… 

He hasn’t told Logan yet. 

Or anyone, really, but Logan’s the one that -- the one that matters the most. 

Logan did, however, ask him if he was okay three times before leaving him be, because Logan knows that Declan becomes testy if asked the same question consistently. 

So basically, as far as Declan can figure, Declan’s a tool. Logan is trying, and Declan is giving him jack shit to work with. 

Patton has told all his friends, which means it’s only a matter of time before Logan finds out, right? Patton’s a sophomore, they’re seniors, and the school is large, but it’s also not as big as it seems. 

Roman, sitting next to him, hums under his breath as he types. He’s editing his college essay, which Declan would be doing if he had a college essay to edit and also cared enough. The atmosphere is strikingly calm, which leads to an anxious buzzing under Declan’s skin. 

Tell him. Just tell him. Just open your mouth and tell him. You’re in a library, he can’t get loud and yell. 

Declan wonders if yelling would be better, actually, than wide eyed stares and wounded expressions. 

He’s contemplating the merits of writing a letter (absolutely not, he doesn’t know why he’s even considering it) when he spots Patton out of the corner of his eye. 

Patton in and of himself does not scare Declan. 

The fact that he’s bee-lining for Declan and his friends does make him a bit nervous, though. 

“Cici,” Patton hisses. The cutesy play on Declan’s middle name sounds odd in such a harsh tone of voice. He glances at Logan before staring at Declan. 

Declan’s starkly aware of Roman and Logan’s attention when he says, “yeah?” 

“You told them?” Patton says, and Declan--

Well. 

A combination of fear and fury and regret zip through his veins at warp speed.

But Declan’s well trained in the art of deception. 

He schools his expression into one of cool indifference. “That I’m taking you for ice cream? Nah. I didn’t think they’d care. You wanna go right now?” 

Roman huffs a laugh, turning his attention back to his computer. Logan doesn’t look away, though, hand resting on a bright yellow flair pen. 

Patton’s brow furrows. “I mean the--”

“Man, if you were that impatient you could’ve texted me,” Declan interrupts with a long, drawn-out sigh. He stands, swinging his backpack over his shoulders. “I’ll see you guys later.” 

“Get me some ice cream next time,” Roman says, grinning. His gaze doesn’t leave his screen. “Bye, loser.” 

“Bye,” Logan echoes. 

Something registers in Declan’s brain-dead skull that Logan sounds lifeless because his best friend has been distant (Declan. Declan is Logan’s best friend). 

Declan pauses, sighs. Patton looks outraged and about two seconds from outing Declan. 

“I’m sorry,” Declan says. Logan looks up at him. “It’s not your fault. Just… I’m going through some things. You deserve to know. I shouldn’t shadow you without any info.” 

Patton looks even angrier, if possible, but then Logan’s talking and Patton hates interrupting people. 

“Okay,” Logan says, soft as ever. “I’ll wait for you.” 

And if that doesn’t make Declan feel like the nastiest motherfucker. 

“Let’s go,” Declan says, pulling Patton along before Patton lets loose. 

He opens his mouth, but Declan beats him to it, whispering, “Shh, we’re in a library.” 

“I cannot fucking believe you,” Patton hisses instead. 

“Language.” 

“You haven’t told them?” Patton exclaims. He yanks his wrist from Declan’s grip but continues following him, arms gesturing wildly. “You’re the worst.” 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Declan mutters. 

“You better get me ice cream now,” Patton says, crossing his arms. “After making me watch that.” 

“That’s fair,” Declan concedes, and then realizes he’s going to have to spent the next thirty minutes listening to Patton chastise him and -- 

Honestly, he deserves it, but he doesn’t want it, but before he can say anything, Patton says, “don’t even think about escaping this.” 

So he’s stuck listening to Patton chastise him for the next thirty minutes until their next class starts. 

But he gets a turtle sundae out of it, so it’s like, at least 20% a win. 

--

“CICI,” Patton screams from the living room. 

Declan shoots to his feet, tripping and slamming his knee into the doorframe, scrambling to reach Patton as swiftly as possible. He appears at the edge of the living room, hand pressed against the wall, chest heaving, eyes blown wide. “What? What is it?” 

He assesses Patton for damage, but Patton’s standing with his phone clutched between his fingers, shaking ever so slightly but appearing physically fine. He’s staring at Declan, lip trembling. 

“Patton?” Declan says. 

Patton opens his mouth, tears dripping down his cheeks. He sniffs, making an angry noise in the back of his throat as he wipes at his face. “I shouldn’t tell you! I should let you suffer because you’re mean.” 

“Patton,” Declan says, approaching his brother like one might a wild animal. 

Patton shakes his head and Declan stops. 

“I’m upset!” Patton says. Then he lets out a laugh, choked. “But I’m so relieved.”

Declan doesn’t say anything. 

Patton sniffles a few more times, then peeks at Declan through his fingers. Declan tries for a smile, sheepish. Patton smiles back, watery and soft. His shoulders shake as he laughs softly, his phone pressed against his cheek. “I was so scared.” 

“Me too,” Declan says. 

“I’m sorry,” Patton says, the anger draining from his face and leaving a wide-eyed pile of nerves. “I didn’t mean it. You’re not mean. You’re just scared.” 

“It’s okay,” Declan says. His arms hand limply by his sides. He wants to do something with them, to cross his arms or put them in his hoodie pockets or something, but he also wants to leave them available for when Patton wants a hug, so he stands awkwardly instead. “I forgive you.” 

“I’ve been calling Uncle Thomas,” Patton says. 

Declan’s heart does something funny in his chest. 

Patton pulls his hands away from his face, rubbing his cheeks clean, staring at his phone for a few moments before his hand drops, dangling at his side. “He’s -- he said he’s coming here. His job can be done online and the stuff he can’t do online he’ll fly back for which won’t be often, he said it’s important to him that we -- have a support system throughout highschool, and he wants us to finish here before doing anything else.” 

The information barely filters through Declan’s mind because when Patton exhales another sob Declan steps forward and envelops him in his arms on instinct. Patton’s legs go weak. Declan sinks to the ground, Patton pressing his face into Declan’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry,” Patton mumbles. “I don’t know why I’m crying. This is good. This is good.” 

“Sometimes emotions have a funny way of showing,” Declan says. He runs his fingers through Patton’s hair, untangling the curls. “You’ve been stressed. It’s okay.” 

“Why aren’t you crying?” Patton says. He taps his palm against Declan’s chest, reminiscent of a smack without any of the power. “It’s not fair.”

Declan laughs, sort of. “I might later. I don’t know. Emotions are weird.” 

“You never told your friends you were moving,” Patton says. “Will they ever find out?” 

“Probably,” Declan says. He squeezes Patton. “I know you told your friends. It’s better your way. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.” 

“Mm.” 

Declan can feel the rise and fall of Patton’s chest. It slows as Patton calms down. “We don’t have to move,” Patton murmurs. 

“We don’t have to move,” Declan agrees, and Patton presses even closer. 

--

Declan doesn’t know how he finds his way to the beach but at one point he’s baking Patton cookies and the next he’s sitting on a slab of concrete overlooking the pitch dark waves. He knows Patton is sleeping, or is at least pretending to sleep. He vaguely remembers writing a note in case Patton looks for him. 

It’s been three days since Patton discovered Uncle Thomas’s moving plans. Discovered? Convinced? Declan isn’t sure. 

And he doesn’t really know how to react. He’s been moving on autopilot, making dinner, doing homework, putting in minimal effort into his friendships so they don’t abandon him on the side of the road -- 

No. Declan shakes his head. Putting minimal effort into his friendships because his friends don’t deserve to be cut off without a word. 

Nothing feels right. 

(Something is off). 

He hears footsteps and before he can whip around, before fear has the chance to truly take over his body, he hears, “this seat taken?” 

“No,” Declan says, and Logan sits next to him on the concrete. They’re quiet for a few moments, watching the reflection of the moon, tasting salt on their tongues. 

“Will you tell me what’s going on?” Logan says finally. 

Declan closes his eyes, breathes. His emotions are all tangled up in his chest and he doesn’t want to tap into it for fear that if he lets out a little he’ll let out everything. 

But Logan deserves to know. 

(He deserves someone better.)

“My mom lost,” Declan says, which sounds nicer than it did in his head. “She’s unfit to care for us, anyway, but now she’s officially calling prison her new home.” 

Logan’s quiet. Declan listens to his breathing. He spies Logan’s hand against the concrete and longs to close the distance and entangle their fingers, just for a modicum of physical comfort. The slightest hint of warmth permeates the air around Logan and Declan wants to lean closer, to press their arms together. 

“My Uncle, on my dad’s side, is taking care of us. He… wasn’t originally going to move here, but Patton talked to him and he decided moving here is the best course of action.” Declan shifts. He doesn’t know how to say it. He doesn’t know how to explain. 

Logan stops breathing. 

“I almost lost you,” he says, and it’s barely a whisper. 

Declan glances at him and can barely comprehend the amount of horror shining in Logan’s eyes. Logan’s staring at him, expression open and terrified. “I almost…” He exhales, shaking. Declan watches him so closely he can see the sticking of his chest as he breathes, the tremor of his shoulders. 

Declan’s heart stutters and he wants to tear his gaze away but he owes, he owes Logan this. Even though the only thing he wants to do is run away, to preserve himself. “I -- I never told you,” Declan says, more scared than he has been in a long time. He opens his mouth and stops, shrinking away. He looks over Logan’s shoulder, unable to maintain eye contact. “We were supposed to leave two days ago. I was going to tell you and then…” 

Then I found out that I’m in love with you, and it freaked me out so much I closed myself off. 

Logan’s truly shaking, and Declan doesn’t know what to do. You caused this. This is your fault. 

“Ugh! I’m sorry,” Declan exclaims. He can’t stand this, these tentative moments, fragile as glass. He wants to take a hammer to the whole affair. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not much but I was scared, and it’s not a valid excuse, but I was terrified, Logan, I couldn’t leave you! You mean too much to me!” 

“You mean a lot to me too,” Logan says, but Declan’s on a roll, now, there’s no stopping the hurricane in his heart. 

He moves his gaze to the waves, finding solace and energy in the constancy. “I was going to tell you when we were hanging out a few weeks ago in your room, and then I freaked out because -- and then I left, and haven’t been able to figure out how to word it since, and Patton’s better than I am, he told his friends almost immediately, imagine, having worse emotional competency than a fifteen year old--”

“Roman found out,” Logan says, grinding Declan’s tangent to a halt. “He mentioned something to me but I needed to hear it from you.” 

Declan stares at him. 

“I asked Patton if you were at home,” Logan explains. Declan can barely tell in the shadows, but Logan’s face seems to darken. “When he said no, I knew there was one other place you would go. Probably.” 

Declan worries his lip. He’s that predictable? 

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Logan asks, quiet. 

“Because…” Liquid anxiety slogs through his veins. His voice drops, quiet, quieter than the sound of waves. “Because I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.” 

For a second all he can hear is the crash of the sea and his heartbeat pounding in his ears. He doesn’t know why the moon isn’t falling from the sky, why the stars haven’t combusted, because his world feels like it’s falling apart at the seams. 

“I discovered that,” Declan continues, the words slipping between his lips before his mind has any say in the matter, “and didn’t know what to do, and then I needed to tell you I was leaving, and I love you, and I couldn’t. Because I’m a coward.” 

Another beat. Declan takes a long breath. “I still love you. And I’m no longer leaving.” 

“I suppose… now would be a bad time to bring up demiromanticism?” Logan tries. 

“It would be a terrible time, but thank you,” Declan says, and he can’t help the small puff of laughter that escapes. 

“I love you too,” Logan says, then, and Declan can’t breathe. 

He turns to Logan without thinking, searching his sapphire blue eyes for deception even though Logan has never, ever lied to him. He can’t hope, he can’t dare to hope, the world would never give him two miracles. “Don’t trick me.” 

“I’m in love with you,” Logan clarifies, nervous. His hands are wringing together and he’s biting his lip. 

Declan reaches out, fingers trembling, to brush against Logan’s cheek. “You…”

“I’ve been in love with you,” Logan says. He’s looking down, away from Declan’s gaze, but he leans into his touch. “For awhile. I never wanted to bring it up because… you were so adamant about being separate from romance…”

“I thought I was,” Declan says honestly. “Which is why this is a real fucking trip, let me tell you.” 

Logan laughs, and some of the tension in the air dissolves. “I can imagine.” 

“God, I love you,” Declan says. He brushes his thumb underneath Logan’s eye. 

“I love you too,” Logan says, eyes wide and sparkling, then he moves forward and cradles Declan’s head in his hands and Declan short circuits because he’s right there he’s RIGHT THERE and he’s touching him he loves him he loves him--

“You’re gorgeous,” Logan says, and Declan just stares at him dumbly because his mouth stops working. His heart is barely going, the only reason he’s not dead is because his body has some sort of instinctive survival instinct, or something. 

Emotion clog his throat and Declan doesn’t know how he’s not sobbing already so he’s unsurprised when the smallest tear slips out of his eye. 

“Oh,” Logan says, wiping the tear away. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s -- it’s not -- it’s not you,” Declan chokes out. “God. This is so embarrassing.” 

“I don’t care,” Logan says. He leans closer, pressing their foreheads together and staring into Declan’s eyes. “It’s okay to cry.” 

Declan smiles thinly, blinking away tears. “I don’t deserve you.” 

Logan stares at him, brows furrowing. “What?”

“You’re so beautiful,” Declan says. His trembling hands hold Logan’s jaw. “And you’re so smart and passionate, and you have the most wicked sense of humor, and you’re my best friend.” 

“No,” Logan shakes his head. “I mean, I am your best friend, but there’s no deserve in a relationship. We’re just people. People make mistakes. I make mistakes. Please don’t sell yourself short.” 

Declan wants to say that only proves how good Logan truly is, but he settles for a simple, “Okay.” 

Logan brushes hair out of Declan’s eyes, then sighs, dropping his head to Declan’s shoulder. Declan’s hands slide down to Logan’s upper back.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Declan says. 

“I’m glad you’re here too,” Logan replies, muffled. He pulls away for a split second, eyes blurry and a crease already showing from his glasses pressing into his skin. “But if you withhold life-altering information like that from me again there will be issues.” 

“I won’t,” Declan says. He swallows. He hates promises. He hates them, because he never feels like he can maintain them. “I’ll… I’ll try my hardest.” 

Logan searches his gaze, nods, and then presses fully into Declan. 

“Woah, okay.” Declan shifts as Logan clings to him like a koala bear. Logan’s basically in his lap and Declan, well. Declan has no complaints. 

“I can do this as much as I want because we’re in love with each other,” Logan mutters, and wow, if that doesn’t send a thousand vibrations across his skin. In love with each other. 

Declan grins. He likes the sound of that. 

“You know,” Logan says conversationally. His fingers trail up to press against Declan’s face, outlining his lips. “I love it when you smile.” 

Declan hums, his smile broadening. Me too, Logan. 

Me too.

[whumpwillow]

Yooo saw that you're into Genshin whump so how about some Kaeya stuff? Idk, anything that you want to do bc I'm not creative enough lol

aw ye i LOVE genshin whump! especially kaeya he's my bias

here's a whump fic i posted on ao3 and never finished oop

also in this ask are some spoilers for Kaeya's story i guess

monsters! there are monsters in genshin impact! Kaeya getting hurt by them and being too far from Monstadt to receive help, having to make the trek back with his injuries

Kaeya being injured and not wanting anyone to know, instead treating the wound himself. self-stitching!!

Kaeya has been known to hang around criminal groups, which aren't known for being friendly

Kaeya has also been known to run his mouth off too much and act cocky and aggravating, which might not go over well with said criminal groups

bar fights

hit over the head with a glass bottle

beaten in an alley

tied to a chair and punched

kaeya would absolutely be a defiant whumpee. he'd be the most defiant of whumpees.

oh and yeah his backstory??? here's the spoilery bit

like the whole thing with him being a spy

him feeling out of place, like he doesn't belong, like he doesn't deserve the kindness the other residents of Monstadt are showing him. They're all so bright and happy, such a drastic change from the place he was born in. He fakes his smiles and his charm because he can't bring himself to muster the real affection

can't forget about his relationship with his brother, Diluc, and that whole thing

but that's pretty self-explanatory

kaeya is just very whumpable is what im saying

[mourninglamby]

just saw a post about your walking dead au and i gotta ask if its published and if so what is your ao3? those clips were really well written and sweet, i'd love to read more!! zombie apocalypse aus are my favourite but its so hard to find good ones! no pressure ofc :)

i havent finished it yet but when i do im gonna post it ^__^ im just a little apprehensive bc i dont rly like au fanfiction especially in this fanbase so i dont want ppl to take it too seriously or god forbid make like animatics or tik toks abt it lol. i know that kinda sounds like im hyping myself up but literally half my fyp is au animatics from fics its so weird. fanart would be cool but even that makes me itch for some reason.

im also not a very good writer i just like dsmp characters and also zombie apocalypse shit/specifically twd so idk how well recieved itll be. its gonna be true to twd in how bittersweet it is (i have the entire thing planned and an outline written, two and a quarter chapters out of 5 are done so its not like its a monster of a fic but its def heavy) however its also gonna stay true to dsmp characters arcs (ie very ccrime lmanburg to pogtopiacore and also tntduo/fiances shit) so im ADDITIONALLY terrified ppl wont get that and think im writing abt the ccs which 1. why the fuck would anyone do that and 2. i dont care abt these boring men outside of their funny little fictional characters. so idk. anxiety making me think in circles like a sick dog.

anyways. heres another blurb as a treat ty for being interested <3333

[wickedpact]

Crim pls do a J/N fic rec post at some point in the future I trust you more than I trust myself looking rouge through AO3

im kinda eh abt the concept of fic recs myself just bc the whole 'Different Strokes For Different Folks' thing (idk how many times someone i liked in a fandom made a fic rec list and i ended up not liking anything they posted). plus i have weirdly specific tastes and i.. .. honestly havent read a ton of joenicky fic! (i have a FAT to-read list) but ive been asked this a couple times now so i will slap together a couple joenicky fics i like (not comprehensive, i only spent like 15 minutes making this. also not in any particular order.)

Kiss Each Other Clean by moodlighting

i like this whole fic, but the last 6 or so paragraphs in particular SEND ME TO SPACE, i love cuddling. also [joe voice] nickel neekee

what you seek is seeking you by bankrobbery

i actually recced this one once before. idk its cute i just Like It. (also nicky pretending not to know english bc a customer is pissing him off is Very Funny and i love it)

with every inch of my heart by smilebackwards

i like this one a lot, i think nickys pov should Always be this tender. i dont like miscommunication trope much, (esp with joenicky) but i do like this fic-- the miscommunication in question is far-fetched but its joenicky so of course it is. just enjoy the Angst™

i love michelangelo seeing nicky all dirty and bloody after a fight and being like 'DAMN this bitch is fine' (same). (AND the fact that nicky only agrees to travel with him in the name of wasting the pope's money lmao). the fact that joe and nicky broke up But They Still Snuggle. nile knowing like 2 things about joe and nicky's breakup & pretty much immediately taking nicky's side. joe looking at the creation of adam and bein like 'EH'.

nicky carrying around his little joe drawing? nicky carrying around a spare toothbrush for booker? nicky telling little children stories about a princess locked in a coffin under the sea? ('perhaps someday, if an iron coffin is caught in a net or washed up onto the shore, they’ll remember the princess, a victim and not a monster' EXCUSE ME)

(also 'I have drawn you a thousand times since we parted. I sculpted your likeness, just so that I could pretend to cup your cheek. You are so much warmer than marble, hayati.' R O M A N C E)

Pas Un Ange by inlovewithnight

there are a lot of fics i love in a way thats like 'this fic is fun but it doesnt feel like something that would happen in the Actual Canon' (which is fine!) but this one Does feel like it could happen in The Actual Canon which is cool

this fic also has probably my favorite depiction of nicky's relationship with god/religion in any fic ive read ('[nicky's] peace had come only after walking away from faith as a competition of intensity in favor of faith as a steady compass that he followed like the beat of his heart in his chest.'). i love the whole Drama played out by the background characters and how they all have their own ideas and motivations & nicky is just kind of resigned to being caught in the middle of it.

(also love how near the beginning joe's like 'the Right thing to do in the situation would be stay at this river and help these people.... ... ....... ... .... ... anyways see ya guys later gotta go find nicky'.)

also joe chatting up a pig and the five minutes later chatting up some goats was so cute. & nicky trying to tell the baby's mother how to save it!!!! </3 AND THEY ARGUE ABOUT CHARITY on the way home (not before joe injects a comment abt nickys ass into regular conversation bc Romance™) its a bit of a sad fic tho, that poor baby 🥺

Intercession by PrincessDesire

can i interest you in some Swamp Man Nicky in this trying time?

someone recced this fic to me and i dont remember who. but note that the major character death tag is not, in fact, for a major character but for a background one. neither joe or nicky perma!die in this. also normally i dont like fics where joe or nicky are bi bc Thats Not Canon Babey but i do like this one, i love joe's relationship with Grace and how nicky's perception of that relationship gets flipped on its head halfway thru the fic. i also love joe's Weariness Of Immortality, like when joe talks about how 'youthful' nicky makes him feel. his pov just kind of Feels like an old man and i like it

theres a smut scene in this fic which im personally not big on smut scenes but theres this bit where joe tries to figure out condoms and its very cute. also 'You have many kinds of magic, Nicky. All your spells have worked.' ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

also i just like how WHIPPED joe is from like the first 3 seconds he sees nicky. theres one bit where nicky's like 'ill come visit you!' and joe's like 'when🥺' and nicky's like 'as soon as you like!' and joes like 'now?????🥺🥺🥺 literally come home with me???' incredible.

also the Magic System was cool. i also love how nicky just Accidentally made himself immortal. what a man. also i like this line 'it would never occur to [nicky] to attend any service that wasn’t going to have a direct outcome. Grace takes comfort from it, so maybe that’s the only outcome needed.' idk its so sweet

edit: also i cant believe i forgot the iconic line 'Yusuf is a man of two minds, one large and underutilized, the other small and underutilized.' absolutely iconic & relatable

[bi-demon-ium]

for the wip ask game <3

☔🌪️

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

okay this one is really really stupid but ive got this like. sea monster/merman milligan au in my brain purely bc a) imagery. symbolism. ough. b) i had the extremely vivid image of an underwater kiss beamed directly into my brain and i had to write it c) specifically thinking about the legend/lore that a mermaid's kiss can save you from drowning/give you the ability to breathe underwater.

(which of course also made me think of merman nicholas and milligan falling over the cliff post-amnesia/escape, which is. a whole other thought spiral that will never become a full au but nonetheless lives in my brain)

anyway i do have several snippets of random shit from this au but i will never make them a coherent fic bc i have too many like. it's like i can see the idea but its a shadow in the water below me. too vast to get the whole picture but i can feel the movement. i can't get the whole thing in my brain but not getting it would make it feel like a tiny fraction of what im trying to communicate. so i guess all that exists is some brief snippets

🌪️Sum up a WIP with a few fic tropes/Ao3 tags.

i'm gonna cheat a littlea nd just give you the tags i made for the little draft on ao3 i did to help organize my thoughts:

:)

[blush-and-books]

Hey! Do you have a fic rec post and if not, would you mind sharing a few of your favourites?

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. TURN IT UP!!!!!!

*all of these are juke so hopefully thats what you were looking for*

**list is subject to change when my dumbassery fades for a moment and i remember all the ones i probably forgot**

Multi-Chapter Fics:

A Hundred Bad Days (Make A Hundred Good Stories) // Just a Casual, Casual Easy Thing by @pearlcaddy - if you haven’t read this. what are you doing. please read it. also read pearlcaddy’s entire body of work, especially Some Killer Queen You Are which made me sob

i’ve got a crazy feeling this isn’t our first time around by @lydias--stiles - once again. i cried. the yearning is lovely. 

We Found Wonderland by @pink-flame - oh my god it took me so long to actually start reading this and i regret every day that i put it off. i have sobbed so hard (BUT ITS NOT SOLID ANGST ITS JUST THE PINING OF IT ALL) and the talent here is so palpable and this could literally be a novel and gahhhhhh consistent updates too which is v legendary

Beating Like Thunder by petalpusher on AO3 - look i am not a werewolf girl but this shit FUCKS!!!!!!! i love it so much and author im sorry idk if youre on tumblr if you are please follow me 

Who Could Deny These Butterflies? by @xxprettylittletimebombxx - there’s only one chapter but its the way i am so excited for the continuation!!!

there’s an ache in you (put there by the ache in me) by jukulele on AO3 - i love the slowburn thats happening in this one and cant wait for an update!!!!! again author idk if you have tumblr but follow me if you do!!

relight that spark by @ruzek-halstead - literally so amazing, also consistent/relatively consistent updating, the cinderella story juke au that i never knew i needed but dont know how i lived without 

The Best Shades of Life by @captainkippen - oh my god. just. OH MY GOD. IT IS SO GOOD. 

One Shots:

Can I Keep You? & Ray Molina, Crime Scene Photographer and Matchmaker are both by @bluefirewrites who also has amazing multi-chapters that she is working on but her oneshots are iconic!!!!!! 

dead of night by @ruzek-halstead - they have so many amazing oneshots so like, read them all, but this one has to be my favorite!!!!

anyway, here’s wonderwall by encroix on AO3 - i dont know how to explain it but this one fucked me up good and simple

at long last, love has arrived by @lydias--stiles - monster 40+k royalty au that will make your day

We play pretend by fanfics_she_wrote on AO3 - THIS MASTERPIECE IS SO UNDERHYPED. MAYBE ITS THE THEATER KID IN ME BUT DAMN THIS HITS HOME, THE YEARNING IS SO INSTENSE IT HITS ME SO HARD EVERY TIME I READ IT AND I READ IT LIKE. MOST DAYS. OH MY GOD 

not an avocado by @pawprinterfanfic - you’re laughing. i laid in bed with tears running down my face over a fucking purple bronchitis and you’re laughing

Let These Petals Fall Where They May by @wisdomofme - this whole thing is so beautiful and so creative and i literally panicked when i had to write a secret santa gift for this actual goddess. another one that i reread all the time bc it makes me feel just as strongly as i did my first time around

Pearls by @pawprinterfanfic - luke gets his wisdom teeth out and all of the simping just hits full force as it fucking should

Wizard Love by @pearlcaddy and every one shot in the series - i know this list is like the same three authors over and over but. what can i say. we have talent in this fandom

Finally: If you haven’t read any of my works, I have a healthy blend of multichap and oneshots. Here’s the link to my AO3 page!