#im also scared

[churchyaoi]

DID has many things that suck but also just. yes i go by several names and pronouns. but you cant just use them randomly since each belong to a different alter. everyone knows us as church but thats just one of us, im here as much as he is and its soooo annoying. and i want to just tell people "hey my name is greed" but i feel like ill be judged and not every space is safe to do this. i know im not another person physically but my brain works like this and i'm me. its obviously fine to just generally call us church and anything else would be a wild guess unless i straight up announced myself u know. am i making sense. and ik its probably even more annoying for my alters who use she/her lol. i wish there was an easy cure for this cause come on

[thegothicchangeling]

If you voted for Trump, you're not allowed to enjoy The Hunger Games, or Mexican food, or Arcane, or having women in your life. You're not allowed to enjoy soul food, or ATLA, or the 4th of July, or gasoline, or Hozier, or having anyone in your life whose rights you voted away.

[amigac0debasic13]

inhaling so heavily so so heavily,, hey guys its me im back. ninjago. This is just a huge rant about me HATING how trauma is handled in this show. ignore this if you do not want to see my HORRORS.

WHY. IS TRAUMA NOT A FUCKING THING IN THIS STUPID ASS SHOW. Im on another rewatch because im FUCKING INSANE but it drives me actually mad that there are so many downright horrific things that happen to these characters that are just NEVER addressed. lets talkabout the fucking first one that caught my eye when I was first watching the show!!! Im basically going from least infuriating to most infuriating, im trying to cut this show some slack but dear god. !!WHY IS COLE OKAY MAN. HE LITERALLY DIEEED. HE TURNED INTO A GHOST. listen Iknow ninjago death means nothing, and im going to talk about that too but he literally could have ceased to exist if he so much as touched water. after he got his body back, why was this never FUCKING mentioned. I think. if I was in a perpetual state of being horrified my existence would amount to nothing and id just stop BEING when I touched some clear shit coming out of my sink id be pretty scarred for life. I loved possession man, but this happened to TWO CHARACTERS. TWOOO. AND THE OTHER CHARACTER IS LLOYD. lets not even MENTION that hes been exploited the moment everyone found out he was a green ninja, and before that a bunch of grown ass people were bullying a CHILD WHO IS ACTUALLY HOMELESS, lets talk about how his fucking body was taken over by Morro while he ALSO worries about his DAD BEING STUCK IN THE FUCKING UNDERWORLD. IM LOSING IT. IM LOSSINGG ITT. On a smaller note, MISAKO ABANDONED LLOYD. KILL HER. I am the hashtag misako hater garmadon deserves better. The show made no attempt for them to bond or try to make amends for what happened when Lloyd was a kid, she barely appears at all really and it just makes me fucking despise her. ALSO MORRO. this kid. reminding you, CHILD, fucking died in a cave. the cave we SAW in the pilot, if i remember right which is FUCKING INSANE>,,?? we SEE HIS SKELETON. THAT IS A CHILDS SKELETON. never mentioned again after episode 8 I don't think. now the MEAT. THE MEATT. whatever the FUCK went on with garmadon after he got resurrected. They actually did cover this a bit with how Lloyd acted around garmadon, but crystalized also sucked ass and really gave us nothing on how Garmadon felt about this. on god im so sick that hes so normal shaped in crystalized too, He was literally growling with every breath in sons of garmadon why is he normal now. Its been years, i get it. also the Garmadon comic. but he SHOULDNT be a normal person whos just an asshole, I want him to be feral okay?? ok??? I am playfully gesturing to Devils Horns by TeuthidaRegina (did i spell that right. idk man. Its a super fucking good fanfic.)

ALSO Vinnys apartment is very inaccurate there should be scratch marks on the walls and then they should kiss. ANYWAYS Besides this, Lloyd being mad at Garmadon was really all we got for how *he* was effected by his once loving father now randomly coming back with his ribs exposed and only being able to say like. 3 words. and also him immediately trying to kill Lloyd. I feel like we should have gotten a LOT more man. Now this isn't really a problem with the show (Its a huge problem in crystalized but that's a given) but more a problem with the fandom, so that's why I'm putting it at the end. this does not hold relevancy over garmadon becoming a BEAST. (also garmadon becoming a beast is the best thing that ever happened in this show btw. you all are wrong and he should have been animalistic from the beginning. still nice. but he should have also growled. all the time.) My issue is with how people portray harumi. I already had my Harumi spout in a post I made earlier, but I only mentioned the toxicity of the ship with her and Lloyd a little bit. Let us THINK BACK on how she literally feels nothing for Lloyd at all. He was a stepping stone in getting Garmadon back, and she probably straight up hates him. She pretends to like him to manipulate him into helping her resurrect garmadon ok?? do we understand?? Ive seen actual tags on AO3 that say "no harumi hate here" and I am so done. all the harumi hate. dont FUCKING talk to me if you want to justify the downright horrendous things shes done. That ship is toxic as hell and Lloyd is downright being abused AGAIN for like the FIVE BILLIONTH TIME IN HIS LIFE. I dont care man. shes an abusive bitch. i HATE HER. Crystalized made the worst fucking decision trying to justify her and I genuinely hate whoever thought that was a good and right decision to make. If she comes back in dragons rising i hope she dies AGAIN, but Im honestly rooting for them to ignore crystalized's existence. Now finally, this is the absolute peak of how Ninjago shittily handles trauma. the ICE EMPEROR. Zane was stuck in a fucking hellscape of a realm for like. what was it. EIGHTY YEARS??? he went fucking mad man, he turned into a bloodthirsty tyrant during that time. and when this seasons conflict was fixed with the "power of friendship" the show literally mentions that the ice emperor is STILL INSIDE ZANES NOGGIN. AND WHAT DOTHEY DOO?? THEY MAKE IT INTO A FUCKING JOKE. its honestly almost disgusting to me how they handled it, Zane has DIED BEFORE. that's bad. he should have trauma. BUT Zane LITERALLY HAS A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. DO NOT JOKE ABOUT THIS SHIT. ACTUALLY. HE SHOULD HAVE SOME RELUCTANCE TO USING HIS POWERS OR SOMETHING, ANYTHING MAN. HE KILLLED AN ENTIRE RACEE. Genuinely this is one of my favorite shows, and I love adding onto the shaky ass plot and making it better, but I cannot DEAL with this. Im going to throw in the shit that happened in the spinjitzu brothers book, because oh my god Wu and Garmadon should be fucked up with all the stuff they have had to deal with for like. 5 thousand years. but its fine. its okay. its the book series. I wont mention it. (that book series is so good please release the final book please) ((I LOVE wu and garmadon they are some of my favorite characters in the ENTIRE series im blinking my eyes at you. please go indepth on those two. also give Wu a dragon form, or an Oni form, or literally anything he IS NOT HUMAN.) Also if anyone tells me im ignoring skybound its because I do not need to say anything about skybound. we all know what happened. we ALLL know what the fuck they did to Nya. and fucking. mister possibly a pedo creep man who does not care about consent. I dont even remember his name thats how bad I hate him .

[h4venpha]

guys i think its time i join trigun twt

[inkskinned]

it's extremely critical that you see the photo of the perp walk for luigi mangione as being propaganda. i've seen so many people wave it off and instead fawn over his looks. and trust me, i know it ended up being kind of pathetic and weird - but please don't brush it off as a "modelling opportunity" for him. it's a fucking terrifying message the police are sending.

i want to make a few comparisons here, in case you're not from the US or familiar with why the perp walk thing is something to pay attention to. just to set the groundwork for why this is a purposeful, unusual, and cruel act by the nyc police - for why this is not a common occurrence and for why that matters.

the prosecution alleges the show of force is due to the charge of "terrorism." for comparison, in june 2015, tsarnaev was found guilty for the boston marathon bombing, which killed 3 people and injured hundreds. his actions are considered to be an act of domestic terrorism. i have spent the last hour looking through google for pictures of similar to mangione's perp walk - and so far, i have found zero. i also just do not personally remember a moment like that, despite living in boston at the time.

they allege that luigi is a stone-cold killer who carried out a longterm plan, making him particularly dangerous. again for comparison: in nyc, recently cory martin was found guilty of the killing of brandy odom. the murder was planned and premeditated to steal insurance money. and yet no staged perp walk. why didn't her life matter enough for a "show of force"?

but mangione gets paraded by a veritable army of police officers as if he is a rabid animal. for a single citizen who allegedly killed one other single citizen, the "largest perp walk ever" occurs.

so what is the "strong message" that the mayor and the police were trying to send here? the mayor speaks as if mangione is already convicted of terrorism. there is a very thin number of people who feel threatened by the CEO's death. none of us felt like mangione needs to be under massive armed guard.

the message is that you shouldn't resist. they are trying to "make an example" of him - that if you behave badly and kill a single rich person, you'll be treated as if you killed hundreds of people. you will be treated worse than a man who was found guilty of terrorism. you will be considered guilty without trial. the message is that the rich are a protected class, and you cannot touch them without massive punishment. they are trying to prevent a revolution by showing dominance and force against you.

the message is that the police are a puppet of the wealthy and that the law is not equally applied across class disparity. it is "some are more equal than others." it is "one life is more precious than another."

the show of force wasn't for luigi. it was for us. it was a warning. they are trying to remind us who is really in control.

[pyrus-salicifolia]

“Normal” test results are not the relief people think they are. When you wake up in pain and continue to be in pain for hours every day and your tests come back normal you don’t stop being in pain.

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy print!!

[monophobix]

lesbian situationship vs gay situationship

[mikqchoux]

I like to think i'm funny:,)

[scruncheduppaper]

metamorphosis

[hotdogmchiggin]

Company Mandated Fancy Fits on the Tulpar 😏

Also had to include the REAL star of the show (and a bonus)

Based off of this and this. Thank you very much joetastic for being inspirational 👍

The REAL reason this is late

[starry-bi-sky]

I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt

“Woah. You look like shit."

Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.

The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.

"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."

And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.

The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.

If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.

"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.

"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.

"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.

The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.

He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."

There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.

"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."

Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"

"Daniel? Is that you?"

His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.

[hinamie]

this is an ideal illusion .

[arolegos]

who let this freak get a job

[fairsweetlonging]

svsss horror game au where shen yuan is first in line to buy the pidw-inspired rpg where you play as a wandering cultivator with amnesia, and are taken in by the cang qiong sect during the head disciple days of the last peak lord generation.

because pidw knows its audience, a large part of the marketing was focused on the romance and action aspect of the game, with additional lore from deleted novel scenes—how could shen yuan not buy this game? maybe the peak lords will finally be more than props in the background! the romance aspect seems to be at least somewhat tastefully done, if he can trust the leaks, with more emotional depth than fetish fulfillment (shen yuan swears that if there is even one unskippable cutscene of some peak lord's feet he's going to chuck his computer out the window).

shen yuan customizes his character, going all out on the clichés because why not, giving him white hair and peerless beauty and all the characteristics of an A+ wife (beauty is power in pidw), actually excited to play the game. the first part is standard, you wake up in a barn with amnesia, only a sword and some items to your name, and have to do some tutorial quests to get used to the game mechanics. it's simple enough. eventually, you end up in a village that shen yuan is certain is possessed, because all the NPC's act very unnatural and strange, and it's pretty unsettling. here, the player is supposed to meet the cang qiong head disciples on their own quest, who naturally think the player is the most interesting person they've ever seen, a super special cultivator, and will take him in because the player is the most coveted character in the universe (apart from luo binghe, that is).

of course, before shen yuan can get very far, he ends up being transmigrated into the game as his own character. it could be way worse: he's a cultivator, peerlessly beautiful, destined to be picked up by the most prestigious sect, and has his own protagonist halo of sorts. he's honestly pretty excited about this

until he finds out that the marketing heavily downplayed the horror elements of the game.

shen yuan is calmly eating a meal in an inn of the village, waiting for the next quest point to start, when suddenly,

[ system notification ]

"you are being observed"

observation level: ???

entity classification: unknown

engagement protocol: do not acknowledge

right after, the windows go dark, not closed or shuttered, dark, as if something large has just leaned against the side of the building. no one else acknowledges this.

shen yuan shakes it off. it's just a game, it's... ambiance, that's all. build up.

he walks through the streets of the town, using his low-level talismans to try and find traces of the entity he's supposed to defeat or uncover to complete the quest. he pauses beside a broken cart, one of its wheels is half-sunk in the mud. the system pings again.

[ system notification ]

"it's behind you."

note: do not turn around.

(option to suppress message: [ ] not recommended)

the street is utterly silent. a prickle begins at the base of his skull. something is there. some deep animalistic part of him is already screaming not to look.

it disappears. he earns 5 survival points. he hopes he won't have to earn any more.

later that night, shen yuan looks for shelter, finding an old shrine visible from the road, just at the side of town. he steps inside and sees old incense sticks, some forgotten offerings. it's simple, but dry. it will do.

he crosses the threshold—

[ mission triggered ]

mission objective: hide

time limit: unknown

condition to complete: remain unnoticed

footsteps crunch in the leaves outside. every nerve in him goes rigid—not human.

too heavy. uneven. it's coming.

shen yuan ducks behind the offering table, body pressed flat against the ground. he slows his breathing, barely daring to blink. a screen in his peripheral vision blinks to life.

[ environmental mechanic activated ]

microphone mode: ON

sound detection level: HIGH

a semi-transparent sound meter appears. with every shaky breath, the bar pulses red. shen yuan clamps his hands over his mouth.

something passes, just beyond the shrine's opening. large. the system does not count down. there is no timer. the floor boards moan faintly beneath a ponderous weight, something drags across the ground.

shen yuan forces his body still, trembling so hard it hurts his teeth.

it leaves. the system congratulates him for surviving. it doesn't tell him what he just survived.

it's a relief when the head disciples of cang qiong show up, and the story delves into romantic cliches and relationship prompts. he gets to see liu qingge shirtless. shen qingqiu is typical tsundere. yue qingyuan is the soft gentle type. shang qinghua acts... off. he isn't what shen yuan thought he would be, less cunningly charming, more, well. nervous. of all the head disciples, he's the only one who actually seems like he doesn't want shen yuan to be here, always looking around.

like he knows shen yuan didn't come alone.

more instances like this occur. one moment, he's farming reputation points and relationship points with the other characters, doing quests and gathering memory fragments that will help unlock the player's backstory, the next, the system seems determined to make the game hell.

it always comes out of nowhere

[ system update ]

"warning: your heartbeat has been logged by another entity."

would you like to mute heartbeat tracking?

[ ] yes

[ ] no

[ ] it's too late.

he can never figure out what's following him, what that creature from the village is, but it's always there. no one else seems to notice, not a single talisman or ward can stop or detect it.

it comes even when he's in bed, still faintly blushing from a wife-plot equivalent where he fell from a ladder and was caught in wei qingwei's arms. he got to pet the pangolins too!

he's just about to fall asleep when the system pings:

[ mission objective: survive until dawn ]

hint: do not scream

somewhere beneath the floorboards under his bed, something begins scraping. like claws trying to memorize the layout of the house from below. shen yuan doesn't dare move. sleep never comes that night.

*

he can farm intelligence points by attending classes, and being the monster and plant nerd he is, qian cao peak is his first choice (it's either that, being beat up by bai zhan disciples that aren't even liu qingge, or running into shen qingqiu).

in the middle of a lesson on demonic poisons, the system pings quietly

[ system message ]

"one of the bodies in the infirmary is not a body"

objective: don't lose sight of it

shen yuan turns his head, slowly, to the curtained recovery beds along the wall. the curtain on the last one is slightly open.

it wasn't before.

mu qingfang continues speaking. shen yuan doesn't dare to look away.

*

one day, the thing starts to catch up

[ mission failure ]

"the sound you made has been registered"

estimated proximity: 00:00:17

do you want to run?

[ ] yes (not recommended)

[ ] no (not recommended)

*

[ emergency notice ]

"you were seen"

objective: hide

time limit: expired

success rate: 2%.

do you want to proceed?

[ ] yes

[ ] yes

*

[ achievement unlocked: it found you anyway ]

*

anyway, can you tell i had fun with the horror prompts? ^_^

i just have sooooo many ideas for the player's backstory, where it seems the character is just a blank slate for the player to project themselves onto, but there is so much more to them than you think. im also having loads of fun with the creature that follows the player around, i love making it as disturbing as possible.

mild spoiler: the creature is real and connected to the player. other characters can't detect or interact with it, but it's slowly growing stronger. shang qinghua is, of course, airplane, and as he was directly involved with the production of this game, he knew that as soon as an OC showed up, that thing wouldn't be far behind.

also, i love the idea of shang qinghua being stuck in a dating simulator as one of the options to romance. now shang qinghua has to play along with his own cringy cliche meetcutes, like showing the player around, flirting with the player, and generally playing the role of suave administrator with a dark secret (he's terrible at it). he had to do the "there's an eyelash on your cheek allow me" move on the player (shen yuan), and almost cringed out of his own skin. though, shang qinghua is the only one who can properly emphasize with the player, because he actually knows what horrid creature is stuck to him and what kind of horror scenarios the player has to go through (accidental cumplane? it's more likely than you think).

it's a bit of a mindfuck too, because shang qinghua can't tell whether the player is also a transmigrator, a puppet controlled by someone from another dimension, or a fleshed out OC of the system. he's also not allowed to ask, so it remains ambiguous. until, of course, they find out they're transmigrators and shen yuan has to deal with the fact he almost romanced airplane.

shen yuan makes a joke about defeating the creature with the power of love. shang qinghua says he wished it was that easy.

[inkskinned]

i'm a little afraid to go to pride this year. many of us are, a little. sitting around our tapas and video games, the silence that hangs over the discord server. it feels different, we say.

we're privileged. the community that came before us laid the groundwork so i could be raised in a different world, and i will never forget their sacrifices and dedication. they gave us this: a pride that feels like community and celebration and joy. i remember the first few times i went to a queer event - i'd been raised so catholic. feeling safe like that, for the first time... it saved my life. i go to pride to celebrate that feeling - my people, laughing. out in the sun, the way we couldn't have been even 25 years ago. that feeling: no wonder we call it "pride."

who am i to be afraid anyway. there are parts of the world where people are doing much better work than i am. but it's just: i felt at home there, you know? and this year feels different. we are waiting on the dam to break. last year, at boston pride, there was a whole gaggle of sign-holders shouting about jesus. you walk around them and try not to let it get to you.

this year, i'm going to DC's pride with my girlfriend. google sends me concerns about if it's safe to exist in trump's america, if World Pride is a bigass target on all of us. every article uses the words "safety concerns" many, many times. three days ago i witnessed a shooting.

even straight people keep telling me - people are weird lately. sometimes we blame it on Covid and sometimes we blame it on the full moon. but i do remember a time before this, right. it's not just that people are more comfortable being rude. it's this strange, outwards violence. a comfort in being cruel.

it's a big hole to fall down anyway. it's not like they're going to do anything to make pride safe, not really. i don't want a police presence as the solution. and what if this is just fearmongering! what if this is just to get us to stop attending our own events! what if everything is actually fine, and i'm just freaked out by the stated intentions of our president!

and what if i'm just listening to things that are being said. what if i'm weighing the shape and size of this america accurately.

my mother calls me. she's been getting the articles too. i assure her i'll be careful, but i put the phone down and stare at it. i'm going to go to pride. other people made it safe for me, it is my duty and my honor to show up for my community. the only thing we've ever had was each other. it was always an act of bravery. being ourselves is brave.

but i am afraid. i lay out my outfit and i kiss my girlfriend. i cut my nails and clean up my undercut. i hold her hand and hang the sunset flag. the sound of this america feels different. like a volcano trembling. i will love her and i will love being queer and i will sing over the noise of it.

but ... still. in the back of my mind. that feeling, like something terrible has been shifted. like somewhere in the night - they remembered we're different.