I need people to realize how horrible 'stalking/constant surveillance/breaking into each other's homes is how the Batfamily show love' is. Like i really need someone to just acknowledge how horrific saying this bullshit is.
Like even fics where they're shown as happy and healthy and with good ties, you've always got this thing where none of them have privacy or any boundaries with each other. Which is directly antithetical to actually having good relationships. And this invasion via hacking and stalking and breaking into homes is portrayed as a positive, good thing; it's just how they show love and care to each other, after all. But for some reason I just personally don't find stalking, lack of privacy or boundaries, and emotional manipulation funny, endearing, or healthy, and just end up disgusted at the attempt to sweep it all under the rug.
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Rules!
It's time to have a chat! I've posted about this before, but I can tell when requests are just intended to be You and not X Reader.
Ask yourself: "is y/n just Me here?" and "Am I requesting an x reader fic for me AND others to enjoy, or am I using the author for my own self fufillment fantasy?"
And if that's the case, please don't send it. I write x reader, not x You Specifically.
Like there is a world of a difference between an ask like:
"What do you think about [situation]", "here's my ideas on this", "can you write [situation]", "I can totally see him do [situation] like awww", or "omg imagine [situation] i'm simping so hard" (these are all great!)
Versus...
"Me and [character] would absolutely [situation]. I just want him to [situation] with me and I'd be so good to him and he sees that, he loves me. I'd respond this way, because i'm a very [trait] person. This is so me and him, because then I would start doing [situation]. So can you write that?" and then blink at me expecting me to write fanfiction based on that ask. That's not y/n, that's just You, and I'm not writing fanfiction of You Specifically. Also you're not talking with me, you're talking at me.
Y/N is all of us and none of us at the same time. Everyone should be able to enjoy the writing! And going forward it is canon in my fics that Keigo is weirded out by anybody who treats me like a request machine for their personal spank bank (sfw or nsfw) and not a person to bounce fun ideas WITH or request ideas from, if that's any disincentive lmao.
Especially if you're gonna word it in a "chop chop, gimme my personalized content, I don't got all day" way. Be nice.
95% of you are incredible and amazing and wonderful, and I don't like paying attention to the vocal minority, but ya know. It is making me feel a bit Dehumanized and Used here.
(This is not about any specific person, ask, comment, or tag, it's a trend. This post has been sitting in my drafts for a long while, since I started this blog actually. And I have posted about it a few months ago.)
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a reflection, based on events of some people near and dear to me today, plus some additional notes from life experience.
you owe no one a relationship.
when in doubt, see rule one.
you can break up with anyone for any reason. this can be for easy reasons, such as a build-up of petty things, all the way up to them being abusive.
even if the person is on some sort of identity intersection that makes their life hard, even if they have had copious amounts of trauma, if they are being abusive, you are allowed to break up with them.
you are not obligated to stay and "try to make things work."
you are allowed to run of the mill fall out of love with people too. not every relationship works out, and that's okay. you're not a bad person for falling out of love.
you do not have to date someone for societial expectations either (this bullet point is for you, arospec/acespec people.). It's perfectly valid to not want to date.
you do not have to say "yes" to any relationship you dont want to be in. this also goes for rejecting people. you do not have to say yes out of pity.
a full and enthusiastic consent is required for any relationship.
for any other questions, refer to rule one.
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Evil is cumulative. It happens. People believe that they've got to do a job, they've got to take on an ideology, that they've got a life to lead; they've got to survive, a job to do, it's every day inch by inch, little compromises, little ways of telling yourself this is how you should lead your life and suddenly then these things can happen. I mean, I could make a judgment myself privately, this is a terrible, evil, horrific man. But the job was to portray the man, the human being. There's a sort of banality, that everydayness, that I think was important. And it was in the screenplay. In fact, one of the first scenes with Oskar Schindler, with Liam Neeson, was a scene where I'm saying, "You don't understand how hard it is, I have to order so many-so many meters of barbed wire and so many fencing posts and I have to get so many people from A to B." And, you know, he's sort of letting off steam about the difficulties of the job.[14] — Ralph Fiennes
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almost every Gay Debate amounts to like people who’ve experienced extremes on one side unaware of the existence of an equally bad extreme on the other side & therefore unaware that what they actually want is balance and common sense in general rather than a certain Stance to one side or the other but anyway. it is FINE to not want to date someone who isn’t out. it is never okay to expect or demand someone else come out on your behalf, but your partner not being out impacts you as well, and impacts your relationship, and not everyone handles that well and not everyone wants to. as with EVERY other relationship boundary its just a case of drawing a line that looks like “this is not something I want for myself right now so if that’s where you’re at i’m not going to pursue this relationship” rather than an ultimatum that demands the person obliges ur needs
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Being a systeen in an adult system while also being the host is such an experience because like yeah there's the obvious "I have to act the body's age most of the time bc singlets don't know how to interact with systeens" thing but like you'll end up playing therapist for your headmates toxic girlfriends who tell you to call them mom like ok points for accuracy but ma'am I am 15 and I do not want to bear the brunt of your relationship problems. You know this all of our dynamics hinged around the fact a systeen was frontstuck why are you talking shit about me and putting all this pressure on me I am internally a child come on
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all i wanted to do with the semester ending is relax and not stress or think or worry about anything for a few goddamn days and people have been screaming on and off outside my window all night and im stressed to high hell about my stupid ass housing situation and how badly i dont want to go out of my way to go physically sign a lease by myself which will take two fucking seconds it’s so stupid to not do it online or whatever and that’s If yk cause the guy seems kinda crazy and is making me think of oh yeah the fucking legal situation that ill probably never be fucking free of like what do these old guys get out of intimidating young women i think all landlords should kill themselves esp weird old racist ones and im not gonna be able to relax till it’s just over and that hinges on me either going there or backing out yk. um and anyway. my brain is exploding and im so fucking tired of being stressed abt a million things and im just tired and once i finally get a glimmer of hope of just the tiniest fucking break something else happens like im sorry i cant go on like this life!!!!! u need to give me some more nice stuff too. jesus
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I want someone to look at me like I look at them. With undying love and softness because they can make me feel again. But all I got from somebody is just a look full of lust only for my body. I'm not a person for some people I'm just a game and object that they can throw away like I don't have soul too.
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