#im figuring this out and i will make it work through trial and error and hopes and dreams

[nyxaffixed]

I told my bestie that i was gonna practice self care. Instead i started the worst possible hobby for my mental health.

Dont tell her. Please.

But at least i finally started that doom/cult of the lamb animation that i wanted to do. :)

[snekdood]

i love my gma but man I really wish she didn't take on Every Household Responsibility Ever growing up bc she did for a long time take care of my cat for me, which I think is partially why hes such a loud demanding asshole who thinks hes owed the world because she has a tendency to let people (and sub-sequentially animals) walk all over her .-.

[angelicgirlmj]

simple skincare routine (+ product recommendations based of skin types)

hi angels! skincare has been a big passion of mine since i was around twelve and began to develop some hormonal skincare issues. these really made me insecure and i still struggle with my skin. but being consistent and developing my routine, working out my skin type, eating with my skin as a focus and trial and error has got me to a place where im much much happier with my skin - and id love to share some tips and products with you!! remember your skin is exposed to so much and such a delicate part of your body, treat it with the love and respect it deserves. ˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

firstly: figuring out your skin type

im not exaggerating when i say the basis of a good skincare routine is knowing your skin type. it makes it easier to buy products, work out what your skin needs and how to achieve the look you want.

dermatologists agree that there are four skin types:

oily (skin produces more oils and sebum).

dry (produces less oils and sebum).

normal (produces a normal amount of oils and sebum).

combination (areas of skin which are dry and areas that are sebum heavy/oily).

so…

how do you work out your skin type?

well there are two easy at home methods!

watch and wait (requires cleanser): wash your face with a gentle cleanser and pat dry. wait for half an hour or so and observe your skin. shiny all over = oily. tight and perhaps flaky = dry. shine in t zone = likely combination. hydrated and comfortable but not too oily = normal.

blotting sheet method (requires blotting sheets and cleanser): wash face with gentle cleanser, pat dry and waist for half an hour or so. press blotting sheets to chin, cheeks, forehead etc and examine the oil left on the sheets. lots of oil = oily. almost no oil/no oil = dry. oil mostly in t zone = combination. minimal all over face = normal.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

secondly: building a routine

now youve worked out what skin type you have it’s time to build a routine! i personally have combination skin that verges more on the dry side.

my am and pm skincare routines look like this…

am: cleanser, ice face, oil face and do gentle gua sha routine, moisturiser and spf. applying facial sanitising spray regularly throughout the day.

pm: double cleanse, ice face (only if feeling puffy/sore), moisturiser, 1 - 2 spot treatments and sanitise face.

am products:

cerave hydrating cleanser.

corsx moisturiser (great for dry and spot prone skin, little goes along way).

la roche posay spf 50+.

jojoba face oil.

vital baby face spray.

pm products:

la roche posay effclar duo.

avene hydrance aqua cream.

two over the counter spot treatments.

you may need to cleanse your face more/less, use less moisturiser etc. developing your skin care routine is through trial and error, just be observant of your skin and take notes on any effects or changes a product seems to have.

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

thirdly: product recommendations

here’s a list of some product recommendations! some i have personally tried (they will be starred), others are popular ones based of your skin type loved by many.

cleansers

dry: cerave hydrating cleanser ⟡

oily: la roche posay effclar duo cleanser ⟡

combination: neutrogena skin balancing purifying gel cleanser

normal: paulas choice perfectly balanced foaming cleanser.

toner

dry: laneige cream skin toner

oily: body shop tea tree toner ⟡

combination: innisfree green tea toner

normal: la roche posay toner

moisturisers

dry: corsx moisturiser ⟡

oily: glow watermelon pink juice moisturiser

combination: byoma moisturising gel cream

normal: la roche posay cicaplast baume B5+ ⟡

spf

la roche posay spf 50+

black girl sunscreen

supergoop unseen sunscreen

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

thank you for reading angels! feel free to give any skincare product recommendations or reviews. im planning on doing an in-depth personal skincare routine post soon. hopefully you enjoyed!!

love, m.

[xhollowfaerie]

Anticipación

a/n: ok this is by far the craziest one i've written sdufhdsfisdjfsf oh my god im so nervous about postin gthis LMAO please lmk if this was any decent bc i did my best, i was really running out of synonyms for moan/whine/cry etc tags/warnings: demi4demi inexperienced Rookanis, (very slight) soft dom Lucanis, submissive fem Rook, plus sized Rook, praising kink, Lucanis discovers edging, also Lucanis discovering some things abt himself......, squirting + a surprise at the end hehehe

Kore’s moans filled the dining hall, echoing back around Lucanis, only driving him further. Their cold coffees laid long-forgotten by their side, his fingers slowly, audibly sliding in and out of her as she held onto the front of his shirt, foreheads glued together. She was sitting on the table, legs spread apart as he dipped his fingers into her, his other arm steadily holding her waist as she trembled in his grip. He’d always wanted to ravish her in that pink chemise, driving him insane from the very first time he’d seen it on her figure. His eyes flooded with desire, watching her lashes flutter helplessly.

She was panting, inadvertently dragging her nails down the back of his neck, causing a shiver to run all the way through him. His brown eyes were trained on hers, observant, taking in every microexpression on her beautiful, round face, memorizing every freckle. The way the dim light of the fireplace hit her glossy lips imprinted itself into his mind, swallowing back the thought of seeing them wrap around him. He took in a breath to gather his courage before his fingers hit deeper inside her, feeling her suddenly clamp down around them. 

“Lucanis!” Rook whined, arching her back. Fuck, she was so close-

He widened his eyes and gingerly pulled his fingers out, watching her carefully. “Lo siento, mi amor… I did not mean to hurt you.” Rook looked at him through half-parted eyelids, feverishly breathing against him, voice meek. “N-No… y-you, didn’t, I almost…”

Oh.

He flushed, embarrassed by his own lack of expertise. “I-I, I thought-”

She painfully clenched around the emptiness inside her, running her hands over his neck. Kore felt the overwhelming wetness between her legs drip down her thighs. Her pink nails held onto the lapels of his shirt, mouthing her words against his lips.

“Please.”

He closed the space between their mouths, lovingly kissing her as he slid his middle and index finger back inside - after she assured him many times that no, two were not too much, even though it had taken a bit of trial and error to figure out the best ones for the job - and she moaned into their kiss, desperately grabbing his face and bucking her hips into his hand as she started shaking.

“Lucanis, Lucanis-!”

His ears picked up a noise outside, making his heart stop dead inside his chest. He moved the hand from her waist lower, pulling her closer to the edge of the table by her ass in an attempt to cover how exposed it was, horrified that Davrin or whoever else was just about to walk in - also halting his fingers inside her.

Kore mewled in protest, collapsing her head against his shoulder as she breathed heavily.

“P-Please, L-Lucanis… you’re killing me…”

He mentally cursed himself, but something caught his attention; they had only made love a couple of times before, and while she always cried for him so sweetly - the way she said his name made it very hard to focus - he’d never seen her quite this worked up.

Almost as if…

Humming, he moved his lips to the particular spot on her neck that made her squeal, feeling her thighs tremble as he moved inside her again, gently curling his digits and quickening his pace - she shrieked and grasped a handful of his hair, her moans growing louder and louder.

“L-LUCA-NIS-”

He stopped again, smiling against her neck as she trembled from head to toe, breath hitching. The way she whined pulled at his heartstrings, but the intense influence over her was bringing something out in him that he hadn’t previously considered - that something he used in his profession could be so easily applied to pleasing her, more than he’d ever expected.

He pulled away just enough to watch her, the deliciously needy expression on her face, the blush over her ample chest and shoulders, the drops of sweat running down her forehead; the very light smears of makeup under her eyes. 

Spite growled behind him, eagerly watching Kore. 

“Nnnngh, Lucanis! Fill her already! I. Need. Her.”

They had convened (well, she had agreed for his sake- truthfully, she was not at all averse to the idea…) that no, Spite will not be coming out while they were intimate with each-other; frankly, after the things Lucanis had heard him say about her (the things he wanted to do to her), he was horrified of letting Spite out; not yet, at least. They’d barely begun their romance, and he was not about to let his uncontrollable demon lay a finger on his Rook.

“Ours!” Spite snarled at him, but Lucanis was easily distracted again as Kore leaned back, grabbing a hold of his tie to pull him towards her as she rolled her head, impatiently tightening around him until he felt his fingers go numb. Those eyes, the sweet, innocent expression he adored so, replaced by an uncontrollable lust, the gaze of a siren eating him alive.

Fuck, he wanted to please her until she was sick of him.

Cheeks flushed, pupils dilated, hair lighty tousled… she tugged on his tie again, biting into her lip. 

“P-Plea-se?” Her voice wavered, and it was an almost impossible task for him to not just give in; but he was, quite frankly, desperate to see more of the insatiable side of her, the complete trust she had in him, the absolute control she surrendered to the hands of a trained killer.

A primal desire to dishevel her further rose inside Lucanis as he very tentatively started pulling his fingers apart inside her, making her gasp. Pleased with her reaction, he leaned in closer, his hand tracing the fullness of her shapes as he whispered in her ear.

“Beautiful, Rook” his voice rumbled lowly; the elf squirmed as her walls collapsed around his fingers, tugging on his tie more decisively than before. Lucanis very quickly discovered that he really, really enjoyed the feeling of his tie tightening around his neck, watching his elven lover tug him around as she pleased.

“Vhenan…” she croaked in response, shyly glancing away as her lips trembled. He felt her hands shake, urging him to angle his digits better and gently push them further in, inhaling sharply when she threw an arm around his neck, almost straddling him as she hung off the edge of the table.

“Oh, oh, Gods, Lucanis!-”

Swiftly, but carefully, he pulled his fingers out again, hearing her voice break into a frantic sob. Her chest rose and fell erratically. He kissed her ear, her cheek, along her neck and beneath her chin, circling his lips to the other side of her head. “You’re doing so well, my rose.”

His words made her whimper; she almost came from his voice alone, reeling from his praise, barely holding herself steady as more beads of sweat rolled down her skin; Lucanis watched as they beautifully rolled down the curve of her chest before disappearing in her generous cleavage, feeling his hands grow restless. Agile, skilled - the hands of an assassin. Cool, controlled, calculated. Twitching in anticipation.

Her gaze was fully bound to him, entranced; honestly, the pleasure was so intense, she was unsure if she was actually awake or if this was one of her many dreams of him - her heart was rattling so violently inside her ribs, she thought it would burst at any moment - especially as she watched him put his fingers in his mouth, relishing the taste of her as he licked them clean. She stopped breathing, lips agape - the smallest trickle of drool lingering around the corners of her mouth; without a second thought, he softly wiped her lips, tilting her head back.

“I must admit… I’m concerned” he whispered, holding her like that as he analyzed her, “concerned that I might grow much too addicted to seeing you like this.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and squeaked in embarrassment, trying to turn away; he gingerly took her hands and motioned for her to wrap her arms around his neck, moving his own down her wide hips, the thickness of her thighs, before finally reaching behind her, grasping her ass and lifting her with so much ease, it made her heart flutter. Her legs wrapped around him instinctively, feeling his hardness brush up against her very damp core as she let out a long, sultry sigh.

He rolled his hips, rubbing himself against her; it barely took more than a few moments for her wetness to permeate the fabric of his pants, easing the friction between them. She tightened her grip on him, pressing their chests together; he felt the aggressiveness of her heartbeat colliding with his, the way she pulsated against him with lust -  and almost lost himself. 

“Please… Vhehan…” she pleaded, threading her fingers in his hair as she placed kisses over his face, covering his breathtaking features in a pink, shimmering shade of lipstick in the shape of her lips. He smiled between her pecks, moving his hips against her again ever so slightly. His voice was almost teasing, murmuring intimately. “Do you want me to stop?” 

She didn’t answer, burying her face in his neck as he grinded against her again, grasping his shoulders and digging her pretty nails into him so much it almost pierced him through his shirt.

Maker, did that feel - incredible.

He wanted - needed her to scratch him more.

“Should I help you finish, mi vida?” He lulled into her ear, preemptively smirking as he waited for her answer. “N-not…yet…” Kore bashfully glanced at him, surprised by the confidence he exuded as he placed her back on the table and guided his hand back between her legs, slicking his fingers in her juices with one, quick sweep that made her shudder. “Mm… I thought so.”

He slowly laid her down on the table, supporting himself with one arm as he curiously explored the sweetness between her legs; lovingly watching her squirm, gasp, contort under his touch. “Eres mi vida, mi mundo, mi todo (You are my life, my world, my everything)” he purred against her flesh, feeling her grasp onto him for dear life. “Eres mi alegria, la mujer de mis sueños. (You are my joy, the woman of my dreams.)” His voice only seemed to err her further, so he kept talking. The unabated huskiness of his voice rattled her to her core. "Quiero ver como mi Rosalina se deshace para mí. (I want to see how my beautiful rose comes undone for me."

Her thighs trembled violently as he brought her close to the edge, squeezing his sides with more strength than most would give her credit for. He moved so he could hold her thigh up with one hand, pushing her leg back and exposing her to him fully as she cried out in shame, feeling his thumb agonizingly circle her.

“Sathan (Please), Lucanis!” Kore wailed, feeling a flurry building inside her so violently it almost scared her. A heat unlike any other, a pressure threatening to spill at any moment. She brought a hand to her mouth and helplessly bit into it to stifle her screams, curving her spine so much her back lifted off the wooden surface, her chest spilling out of the pink satin of her chemise. 

The sheer self-control it took for Lucanis to not sheathe himself inside her then and there…

The dining room was a lewd mess of sounds; her wetness, her panting, the creaking of the table as she struggled atop; not to mention the sheer magnitude of her broken voice as she squealed and mewled for him uncontrollably, chanting his voice in between elven pet names and implorations. 

“Mierda, I want to make you sing like this for me forever.” The look on his face was one of absolute focus as he drank her depravity in, lowering himself to rest his forehead in between her chest, taking a deep breath in. The scent of her threatened to make him come undone, too, overstimulated by her hoarse cries, her tantalizing appearance, her slickness on his pants and the dull ache beginning to set into his wrist - one he immediately tossed to the back of his mind as he satisfied his Rook.

Her skin, her sweat, her perfume, his scent on her intensified the yearning in his hands, finally sliding his fingers back inside her, hooking them deeply into her core as he kept his thumb caressing her sensitive bundle of nerves.

Kore got to take a single breath into her lungs before she saw white; she might have even passed out for a second as she vehemently coiled around Lucanis, thrashing under him with a high-pitched prayer of his name.

His eyes widened in surprise as a flood of liquid met his hand, squirting all over his fingers and palm, over the hem of his sleeve, the front of his expensive shirt and all over her thighs; that, and the way she twisted and shrieked in utter pleasure while burying his face in her chest, pulling his hair. A low chuckle rumbled in his chest, feeling an increasingly insatiable need gnawing him alive.

He was so hard it hurt - and despite him usually being able to ignore it, this time, his arousal for her was almost unbearable.

“Ar lath ma, Vhenan…” Kore panted deeply, feeling his face lift back up to hers. He kissed her, trembling fingers cupping his face as she twitched under him, intricately defensiveless.

“Ar lath ma, Vhenan” he responded, lacing the Elven confession with his irresistible Antivan accent. She let out a groan, feeling herself throbbing still, jittery and breathless.  “Te amo con todo mi ser (I love you with all of me)” Rook whispered, trailing her fingers down his jaw and neck, feeling him shiver. “You are a dream come true. My safe haven.”

Her eyes slid to a close, clinging to him; he more than happily obliged, rolling them over so she could rest on top of him, cradling her sweetly, holding her tight as he kissed her forehead, brushing the beautiful length of her pink hair with his fingers. “Look who’s talking” he murmured, leaning his head back to rest against the table. He adored the feeling of her in his arms…

And Spite, well, Spite found it much harder to dismiss the overpowering arousal coursing through him.

Lucanis tried to part his lips to warn her as he felt his consciousness slip - instead, his eyes overturned with a eerily incandescent shade of purple, trailing his hands hungrily over Kore’s body. A growl dragged itself out of his throat, his hands closing around her ample chest, making her weakly squirm as he played with her breasts. “Mercy, Lucanis…”

He bucked his hips up against her ass, reaching a hand between her legs and wrapping the other around her throat, baring his teeth.

“Rosalina. I. Missed you. Need you. So. So. Badly.”

“S-Spite?!”

“Nngh. Yes…” 

She squealed as his grip on her throat tightened, shivering incessantly as he rubbed her clit - fuck, fuck, fuck, she was still so sensitive, she might come again right away if he doesn’t stop - his touch contrasting aggressively with her Crow’s - her demon was rough, impatient. 

Starving.

Kore felt his lips curving deviously against her ear, melting a little too easily into his possessiveness… oh, Gods, she was as horrified as she was excited.

His hot breath tickled her, feeling the dam inside her close to breaking again as he spoke. 

“Finally. Spite’s turn.”

[omagpies]

HEYHEY HAIHAIHAI

I JUST READ THROUGH THE WHOLE DEERVERSE TAG. LOVELOVELOCELOVE

i has questions :3

1. how did Agonist's diet/dietary needs change during his transformation? his outward physical body and some of the mechanics(vocal cords, color sight, etc) changed, but did his nutritional needs or diet tolerances?(i would assume so because of the mint post but im curious on more specifics)

and if so, did he find this out by trial and error? eating something he has all his life and suddenly it makes him doggedly sick?

2. is the scourge a naturally-occuring disease, just sort of a fact of life for this world, or is it something more recent and sinister?

3. i imagine that the Oracle from the nightfall cult is a NIGHTMARE to draw, have you ever tried?

:333

hi hello, welcome haha

1. agonist's diet has changed quite a lot actually. he can't eat many of the things he used to eat (like bark, for example, which is why he is so awfully thin in the middle of winter here), but once selene found the deer and took them into her care, the trial and error of human food began. selene is, among other things, a baker, so when it became clear that agonist is very interested in the smell of fresh baked goods in comparison to offered hay and oats for the horses, his life markedly improved.

(sometimes, though, he does get weird cravings and eats things that neither man nor deer would find compelling to eat. go figure.)

3. i haven't tried beyond this little sketch, no xD i might though at some point, i feel like a gif format would work well for it.

2. could it be time to talk about the Cradle a little? :)

[thelaststranding]

@fragilehiggs

HOW TO IMPORT HIGGS 3D MODEL INTO BLENDER / MODELS FROM GAMES INTO BLENDER

figured id make this a post because it’d be easier.. might help other people too!!! on how to put higgs into blender. you probably know some of the stuff i’m gonna explain but for good measure will bring up. this is extremely long because its the sort of thing i wouldve massively appreciated but i unfortunately instead basically had to figure it out going off of little to nothing

—

blender is a 3d program that allows you to import models from games into there which can then be rigged, posed, and animated. people take these models from games using programs called ninjaripper or greyhound. essentially this just goes into the files of the game and takes out the assets. if it’s an asset, it can be taken out. you would then have to rig the model yourself (basically put a skeleton to pose it.) this takes very long and is inconvenient.

luckily, people do this for you. you don’t need to rip your own assets out and rig, which is a hassle and you usually need to pay for these useful programs. a great spot for getting models that have been ripped from games is deviantart. however, there is no telling how these models can perform. they could be badly rigged, or could have messed up textures. unfortunately, such is the case for the one and only higgs model… https://www.deviantart.com/kanbara914/art/Death-Stranding-Higgs-XPS-864224744

the good news is that i fixed the textures. the bad news is that the rigging is absolutely beyond busy. he is poseable, yes, but the amount of points there are makes it really hard to. i’m yet to figure out a better way and might start ripping and rigging my own models. despite having fixed the textures i am unsure if i can export the fixed version. thus.. another tutorial will come through on to do that. unfortunately it takes awhile. all of this requires lots of patience, trial, and error.

so, now, how exactly do we start? FIRSTLY, we need to revisit downloading blender. the current up-to-date blender will NOT work. you need to download blender 2.80, NOT anything else. well, how do you get an older version?

in order to get an older version, navigate to blender.org/download/previous-versions/ and scroll down a bit to you see ‘download any blender version.’ here is a good tutorial but i believe that it is a little outdated so i will explain it furthermore. https://youtu.be/WmlijP9D67o?si=QHhpOQ_D_0LWJP9M this is the one i followed however so, the premise is the same.

we click on download any blender version and it looks quite overwhelming. dont be too worried, you just need to look closely and scroll till you see Blender2.80 . we then click on that and you need to find your operating system. im going to assume you run windows, and if so, pick blender-2.80-windows64.zip from the list.

navigate to your files, and then open up the zip file that you just downloaded. click blender 2.8 again and then what you see is going to look a little busy. dont be fooled, its actually not. just scroll down and find blender.exe. press this and itll bring up a simple process -- all you should have to do is press a few buttons and optimize it like any other download for an application such as blender. it should be installed like regular blender, and if its not on your desktop, simply go to blender.exe in your files in applications. i recommend pinning it to your taskbar.

here comes the next step. there is something called xnalara. i will keep the history of it rather brief but its quite interesting. xnalara was an older program that allowed people back then to rip models from games and import them into the xnalara program. that program is rather old and i rather not use it, however, im thinking about looking into it. its good to use blender regardless because of its studio-accredited attributes. its professional.

some awesome dude later down the line created something called a xnalara add-on for blender. this allowed you to download models ripped from games posted on deviantart that are optimized for xnalara. the file name for these xnalara optimized models end in .xps . these will not regularly be imported into blender, because it doesnt support it. however, this add-on will allow you to do such.

im going to explain how to download it but watching this video regardless is essential. you will probably need to go back to it now and then.

since youre particularly interested in importing higgs, i will keep it relatively broad but touch on his model a bit more because i am more familiar but this process applies to most models. navigate to https://www.deviantart.com/kanbara914/art/Death-Stranding-Higgs-XPS-864224744 and scroll down into the description of the post. click on the link, mega.nz/file/y88wyQpS#eDkcsSmW… so on and so forth. it will ask you if you want to leave deviantart and click the link again to go there.

you're now in MEGA. this website will allow you to store downloads for people, and i can assure you its safe. i would never download anything im not sure of -- my PC is my baby lol. look down to the bottom right and youll see "SAVE" and "SAVE TO MEGA." pick save. it will download, and you need to look to the top right and click where your downloads are. this will take a couple minutes, grab some water and a snack. when its done, click on it in the tray to open it.

youre going to be overwhelmed by everything you see. do not fret! just close it, dont unzip it. just make sure it exists. you can close MEGA and deviantart now. you now need to refer to the video i linked if you want to follow along with more resources. we need to install the XNALARA add-on for blender 2.80 which can allow us to put it into blender.

before i continue i want to say, being familiar will blender as a whole will be an insane help. unfortunately the only way i figured out some of the stuff that i did was because i knew how to just going off of the program. most tutorials will not have answers for this small issues... but i most likely do especially for this specific model.

here is the add-on. https://github.com/johnzero7/XNALaraMesh . github will look relatively the same as it does in the video. look to your right, youre going to see a bolded 'releases', and under it, XPSTools v2.0.2 or something along the lines of that. you dont need to see the other releases, it's best to have the latest one. click on it.

its going to open up the description of the file. the above is important to note because it says it works with the blender that you just downloaded. if there are any issues for whatever reason with using blender 2.80 (approximately the version from ~2020) those are other versions which are applicable. for the sake of my sanity im gonna explain how to open it in blender 2.80 .

go down to the bolded 'assets'. under it you will see 3 links -- click on the first one which ends in .zip . it will download in the download tray. if your computer tries to flag it or anything as unsafe, click away from that and allow it anyways. this program has been used by thousands for years. it will soon finish downloading. MAKE SURE THE XNALARA ADD ON IS SAVED ON YOUR DESKTOP!!!

go ahead and open up blender 2.80 now. if you have the newest blender installed already make sure youre picking the older version. it will open a terminal alongside of blender, while its running. dont close it. click general.

if you have never used blender, please watch a video on the basics such as this one. https://youtu.be/Z8sg0nHNTTo?si=zjR4aBHVF8XX_Qdn this is the only way to realistically be able to attempt messing with said model, unfortunately. unironically, rendering roblox avatars was a huge stepping stone and aid to my experience with this. i genuinely recommend you do it before you try and do something like this. here is an amazing, step-by-step tutorial that needs no explaining out of the video. https://youtu.be/kpALOtLhX-Q?si=4UrhkBTIK5qYOBfS

from here, this is a much better tutorial to follow >> https://youtu.be/8mqUqob3P3o?si=14a50v88IPZx6O8Y . find yourself at the time stamp of 1:46, the previous is the steps you have already done. go back to blender if you have made it this far, lmao. click on the cube and delete that motherfucker.

look at the top toolbar. it says things like file, edit, render, window, etc. you want to pick edit and scroll to preferences. youll see many options but youre going to want to click add-ons on the left. then, at the top left, click install. go to DESKTOP and click XNALaraMesh.2.02.zip and click install add-on from file on the top right. make sure its the ZIP. this is gonna bring you to a menu with potentially many other downloads. scroll down till you see XNALARA if so. MAKE SURE IT HAS A CLICKED CHECK MARK ON THE LEFT.

go down to the three bars on the bottom left and make sure to save preferences. you can then close that and go back to blender. it will now be one of your downloaded add-ons available! go to the top left again and hit file, import, and XNALARA / XPS. itll hover and youll see another option. make sure to pick XNALara/XPS Model (ascii./.mesh/.xps) . click it and pick Load an XNALara model file.

this will open up your file explorer within blender. click desktop and click on the higgs model you saved earlier. clicking it will lead to 2 files, click xps.xps . press Import in the top right. it will take a hot minute to pull everything into blender, be patient. once its imported scroll inwards and look at the son of a bitch. the rig is gonna be highlighted orange and hes gonna be gray. click to anywhere other than the model and face the enemy.

due to the shading settings, his textures arent showing. simply go to the top left where you see 4 ish circles, the second one should be selected. select the one to its right, viewport shading, and give it a second to load his textures in. its gonna look nothing like him. youre gonna have to fix the textures, brave soldier.

--

will post another tutorial if you decide to go through with this or if anyone does because unpacking all of that is such a pain in the ass but i promise it isnt rocket science. just not gonna do it if it isnt asked for because i spent 3 hours figuring out how to fix it the first time i imported his model -- the creator says nothing about this on the download or how to fix it unfortunately and its quite janky :(

if you even made it this far in reading, congratulations, youre a winner. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK and i will answer them to the best of my ability.

SAVE THE IMPORTED MODEL TO REVISIT!!!!!!

[rainyobservationperson]

I had a merthur fic idea that it's keeping me awake at night and I just had to write it down (METHUR PROMPT)

OK, so hear me out. What if merlin after having lived 1500+ years has forgot Camelot?

Like not the idea of Camelot, he knows what happened and knows it's true, but like the specifics are blurry. He suddenly can't remember how did the castle looked, or what was the name of the cook, things that, to him made all of the experience, personal. But it gets worse, he can't remember the face of his mother, or Gaius's voice, he can't remember Arthur, so he panics.

He has had SO MUCH TIME, and so he has studied a lot about his magic, most of it through trial and error and personal experimentation, because most of the magics in the world have already vanished, so he tries to create a new spell, to make himself remember, fearing that he won't recognize Arthur when he came back.

This new spell is meant to help him remember, relive if you will, the memories that he lost. He pours every bit of knowledge into this project, practicing with very advance Alzheimer patients (because of course Merlin is a doctor, and a chemist, and a profesor... he has had time alright) and he makes a lot of progress. He spends years into this, but the progress is too little, he can make an Alzheimer patient remember up to 10 years in the best of the cases, but he has lived thousands, 10 years was virtually nothing.

Frustrated, and honestly more than a little drunk, and sad, he decides to wing it, he shouts the spell sobbing and uses all of the magic that he can, begs the gods to listen and he also threatens them for good mesure and then he passes out.

Basically he time travels, but he DOES NOT KNOW THAT. He thinks the spells work so fantastically he is having a really fucking amazing lucid dream of sorts, he doesn't remember the specifics so he can't know that he is not exactly following his original steps.

So we have a homesick Merlin running around Camelot, way to happy just to be there and maybe a bit high on magic (because of course in the past there's so much more magic than he's grown used to with the years).

Obviously shenanigans ensue, a 21 century mind in a medieval setting, a wizard that is used to using his powers regularly because nobody believed in magic anyways, a doctor with modern techniques, a slightly shortsighted profesor who is use to wearing reading glasses, a lovesick idiot who forgot the face of his first and most true love... He does something (I am yet to figure that part out) and make a big change in the course of the events and finally finds out that he timetraveled and that he is probably fucking up history for good, and tries to fix it maybe.

That's basically the basis of the idea, I think there a lot of possibilities this could go and I really love it. I wanted to write it here so if anybody wanted to write something with this idea or expand on it it could be fun

English is not my first language so im sorry if I made a mistake. Pls let me know what you think about it. I might expand this with more head canons later.

[ace4thespades]

(( OOC BUT I'M CLAWING AT THE BARS OF MY CELL I'M CLAWING AND SCRATCHING AND OHHHHOHGGHH IM BEING FED SO WELL I'M BEING FED I'M sorry I forgot I need to be normal. um. Wooww hahaSORRY i'll be normal.

Tahnk you very much for all the food you're feeding me and for all the art and even the writing and all the yummy interactions . Uum.

Hey by the way why are you Cooking . Genuinely Why do you cook not only with chance hcs but with like. 007n7 hcs. and with writing two time.

So Sorry I couldn't send in anything for when 007n7 was around I've been hopping in and out of the forsaken fandom but! I'm still here! I still scroll all the new asks on this blog every morning and scream in the dms of everyone I know about how awesome this blog is Please keep cooking ^_^

also I adore how u write interactions with other blogs, like. Ok from my experience mods are usually pretty biased and only respond properly to stuff from their friends or other in universe characters but the fact you actually let people interact freely regardless of whether they're an anon, an oc, an au, or a canon character makes me so jolly I wish more ask blogs were like this

I Might start an askblog for my main forsaken au since I don't have any solid headcanons yet so if u have tips for running an askblog I would: appreciate ^_^

have a lovely day, mod !! ))

-☼

\\\ Getting this ask really made my day when you first sent this, ☼ anon. Your support is appreciated greatly and I wish I have the better vocab to express how much these sort of things really mean to me. I honestly never expected people to enjoy my art and writing— through the drawings or dialouges I make.

[IM GONNA START YAPPING HERE !!]

Happy to have fed you! 🥹 Characters that lack of information about themselves give other people alot of opportunities to try and work out what their personalities are like with the very few information they have. I did that with Chance, 007n7 and definitely the other characters.

With the little information [personality based] of a few characters like 007n7, I work with what I have usually. A single father who was the entire world to a child, now in a damned hell with no recollection of his own son? Now that I can work with— along with other characters and how it affects them. Two Time is from a cult so of course I made them religious. Too religious. Theres still much to write about them!

[Here are a few drawings I made when I was figuring out how I wanted them to act. I made sure they kept mentioning the Spawn to make them seem like they’re too deep in their beliefs. Sorry if you can’t read my handwriting LMAO. TW// Sacrificial self harm scars…]

When it comes to other blogs, I happily accept their interactions! It’s always so nice to see roleplay alot as it contributes to my writing and it helps me A TON with working a character’s personality. Thats why I draw comics— mainly characters speaking to each other to show their traits, subtle or not. It also helps me think: ‘How would this guy act in a situation?’ or a ‘How would they respond/act if this happened?’ I LOVE thinking of the many possibilities— testing out one’s character.

☼ anon, if you ever do make a Forsaken AU blog, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEA/ref/nf. Do not EVER back away to interact with this blog, me or other blogs. Seeing other people’s creativity really motivates me and I would be SO HAPPY to see yours— ESPECIALLY IF YOU EVER INTERACT! If you ever reveal yourself of course, but thats up to you. ;]

For tips? I would suggest observing other blogs and see the rules they enforced. With rules, you can know what fits you best and apply the same on your blog. For my first blog @/blackrocks-king, there was alot of trial and error— things I realised that I didn’t like doing and had to edit the introduction of the blog MULTIPLE TIMES with new rules and other warnings. So when I started this second blog, I made sure to see what I was okay with and NOT okay with so I could work at a steady pace so everyone is satisfied including me.

You’re free to try new things but always tell your audience whats new, they’ll always be supportive and considerate. Don’t be afraid to give a heads up for others… and NEVER STOP GAMBLING ! ! ! /j

I do hope you see this, ☼ anon. I hope all goes well for you! :] Even if you don’t make that blog, just do what makes you happy. Work at your own pace, you don’t need to feel like you need to appeal your audience all the time.

I hope you have a wonderful day. Feel free to hop in the askbox and ask me a few things or just little comments! I’m always so happy reading other people’s appreciation for this blog.

[Ignore King on the right I missed drawing him 🥹💔]

[witchynek0]

why I think Ultraman:Rising a one of the better movies in the last months

I watch ALOT of movies, and im not joking, I have alot of free time. and recently I have taken notice that alot of movies, especially animated ones, feel rushed. MAJOR SPOILER ALERT ultra man rising although a long movie, feels really slow. you get to meet Ken Sato. a cocky baseball player, but also; Ultraman! he accidentally picks up a kaiju baby, and is asked to raise it till the baby can go back to its native land, all while fighting the KGB.

ken sato is a cocky baseball player playing for ‘the giants’, with no family, and no friends. he is confident and full of himself, and sure he will make the Giants Great again. all on his own. he doesnt care about his team, and he doesnt care about his reputation. the night of his game he has to work on a Kaiju attack where he saves kaiju baby and takes them to his base. keeping it safe from the KGB, who want to use the baby to find Kaiju Island and kill all Kaiju

i've watched this movie on repeat since it came out, the buildup of the story and the small details and secrets that get revealed as the story progresses keep you guessing and grasping for more. the movie lets you form an attachment to the character, and doesnt rush you by telling you all the ‘lore’ as quickly as possible and then moving on to the problem and how they solve it. 

Ami seems to play a key role in Ken his development, the ‘off the record chat’ seems to open his mind. he asks her how she juggles her job and kid, since he is having a hard time with it. ami says “...they are trying to discover who they are, and what they want. and the only support they have; is us. imperfect messed up us dealing with our own issues. trying to figure out who we are…” 

this strikes ken to free the baby Kaiju, and teaches her Baseball. with trial and error the baby kaiju, named Emi later. explore their bond. safely in the base. the next day when Ken is on a promised follow up interview with Ami, Emi gets out of the base, follows a blip with one of Satos commercials on it. and climbs a tower. ken saves her for falling but breaks her arm in the process and has to ask his dad for help. all of this happens in roughly a hour, see how much that is? how much ive written down about Ken sato and how you got to know him? now this is not all that is shown in the movie, so do watch it if you havent. because this is just the tip of the iceberg. and there is another hour left. 

and in that hour, Emi changes and learns alot. Ken his dad gets more involved. and i havent even mentioned the AI robot that helps ken during this first half of the movie. i dont mention the KGB and their underlying motive. this movie offers so much compared to others ive watched. lets take for example disneys Wish. (dont come at me disney i do still love you) it was fast, i barely got the plot the first time around and i felt rushed and hurried. i watched Wish $ times i still dont really get it. and feel like i havent seen all of the movie. and not just disney, but alot of ‘BIG’ companies lately, have made rushed movies that werent thought through. the story isnt rich and flavourful Pho. but more like a diluted murky beef broth, still good, but less satisfying. the animated movie industry ahs been through some hardship lately, new techniques. and mostly the animators, who work hard for little pay, under alot of stress to make good content cause our attention span doesnt last. and the internet is fast paced. ive made animations, by hand, and its so hard to get it looking good. im here to tell you, Ultraman;Rising is the movie id show people when they ask me “what do you want to do as an animator?” and i say “make something as good as this is.” 

id also like to make it clear that yes, there are good if not better OTHER animated movies, but this is recent and is the best example in the moment.

[monkeyislandtwo]

tumblr is NOT letting me answer this ask directly for some reason so i screencapped it HDFHDG anyways here goes

i vagguelly knew abt otherkin stuff beforehand but that was like. very vague and more in the lense of "eww cringe" bc that was all that was talked abt it

fast forward to me being 16 or so (maybe 17?) and i decide that today on www.tumblr.com im gonna go through the werewolf tag, and between all the art and poems abt werewolves i view a few werewolfkin posts and i go "huh.. thats interesting" bc i only vaguely heard of it but never really looked into it

so i dip my toes into it, and fall into the lake completely, and now im here

from which i will give some advice:

disclaimer: most of this advice comes from a psychological kin perspective, for spiritual stuff i can gather some info if you ask me but overall im not spiritual kin

1: sometimes the answer is not too clear, being alterhuman can stem from many reasons and overlap with many other things, furryness, autism, psychosis, spiritual beliefs, familiarity and importance to an animal or myth, a lot can play into it! for some beings, the experiences are very separate from each other, for others, they may cause each other or be linked or overlap, it can all depend and change around, so dont stress too much on whats what, but if you wish, you can play around and see what belongs to what, ive had the fact im a furry sometimes overlap with the fact im otherkin, and even fuel each other, but i still see them as separate identities, its all a big complicated soup. and i will say to just fuck around and see what labels you see fit

figuring out your kintype can take a while, and its not uncommon that what you first consider to be your kintype may not be the one that you actually feel you are. for example my first through upon discovering kin stuff was that i may be a cat, ive loved cats since i was practically born, ive always wanted to be a cat and themed myself around cats, hell my fursona is a cat! turns out im not one, ive tried and figured stuff out and experimented and well a cat just wasnt it. from this i'd just say to explore different animals or mythic beasts or types of robot etc etc

from that, what has helped me personally to figure out kintype stuff is to see what you desire feel and act, what kind of environment do you crave for? forests? mountains? deserts? theres a lot! what do you wish your body looked like? everyone talks about wanting claws and fangs and such but really think about it, what do you want for your body? what would make you happier? what would make you see your body more as your true self? any particular diet you have or wish to have? any behaviors you've derived from a being? maybe you hiss maybe you bark maybe you knead. do you feel limbs that arent there? such as ears? tails? horns? just look around outside and inside to see what you crave what you do what you want and such

one thing that i did while trying to figure out kin stuff was to just. draw how i view myself in my mind, and not concentrate on design or what i like and dislike on character designs, just like, draw what comes to mind on an "ideal body", you shift around features from the vague idea of who you are in your mind, draw different tails draw different snouts draw different body shapes, and see what fits and sticks, sometimes you can land on yes "thats exactly me", sometimes you can land on "its a vague idea of me but can aid me in figuring it out". thats kinda how it lead to me figuring out im primatekin, i had multiple different attempts and sketches of what i think i look like in my mind, and i just kept going until much trial and error later i found something. it went from "humanoid?" to "halfly animal-like" to "has a long tail" to "small and expressive" and eventually to a primate! (and thats how my mizamonkey design came to be QSHFHD). again for some this may bring a concrete design while to others it may be just a vague guide, not every tip works for everyone.

despite a few points ago where i stated that being obsessed with an animal or myth doesnt always equal to it being your kintype, it sometimes can be! and its sometimes how kintypes can originate to people (if we're taking the psychological otherkin route, this doesnt work too well with spiritual otherkin). sometimes youre just so obsessed and interested with an animal or myth or fiction trope that your brain kinda, adopts it for your identity. this is what happened to me for werewolves, since i was a wee lad ive been OBSESSED with werewolves and i read about them and drew about them and made stories about them that my brain has seemingly just. grabbed it and went "thats you". so look into your childhood or current state of living and see what animals and beings and such you connect with! again just as a few points ago, it doesnt always mean its your kintype, but it can be!

being alterhuman is different for everyone, i sometimes still think of this message i saw ages ago that went "ask 10 therians what being a therian means for them, and you get 11 different answers", so just because this otherkin experiences xyz, doesnt mean everyone does, and vice versa! i used to have a lot of stress about this bc i felt like i was a faker bc i didnt experience like others but after a while i managed to mellow out on it and its making me feel better!

related to that i would be careful about the resources you seek out bc from my experience seeking out resources has been a very 50/50, some tips and advice is great! while others are just why would you follow that. use your critical mind and see what suits you and what helps you.

this is more a personal opinion but i feel like the whole "choosing your kintype" debacle doesnt have a correct and concrete answer. to me if you were to just choose whatever kintype you want it may not actually be the kintype you feel like you are. i would absolutely choose to be a wolverine if i could! but it just doesnt align with my kintype and i cant force it as my kintype even if i tried. i would say that you can "try out" kintypes to see if it fits, its all about experimenting after all. its just that for most, its not as easy as pick and choose. its mainly bc your freely chosen kintype may just not be who you are, if you wanna choose a kintype either way, the community has adopted the term "copinglink" for such. for most alterhumans they did not choose their kintype. again its about trial and error

overall its going to be a lot of trial and error to figure stuff out. it took me 2 years to finally land on my proper kintypes! you may find kintypes and you may drop them. you may find yourself to not be otherkin after all! if you want more personal tips and questions you can message me here or on discord! (but i prefer discord bc tumblrs dm system is kinda cramped and buggy).

[psiirockin]

do you have any advice for opening commissions? i feel like you have them very professionally set up, and i have pretty bad social anxiety, so it might be helpful to hear tips for communicating with customers and such, or setting up a fair tos!

hi so, maybe i do have some advice!!! <33 thank you so so much for the kindness & seeing me as professional lol i’ve been doing comms for 2-3 years and i must say.. still getting the hang of a lot of things. you go through a lot of trial + error trying to figure out what works best for you, so remember theres no truly right way to go about comms! they should all fit the needs, pace, and benefit of you and your work ethic!

what i did personally is start off at some lower prices just to test the waters and get the ball rolling. i priced rendered characters at i think, $24 per character? possibly lower, i cant quite remember. and then i gradually went up as i started to progress in my art style more + had more people coming in.

with customers, i have a lot of anxiety as well! im autistic, so i never like making a customer feel like i dont truly care abt the commission by accidentally sounding too flat or anything. i tend to RLLY overthink it lol so we make sure we are extra talkative + kind about their comm! giving them compliments on the character, showing genuine excitement so they know theyre in good hands! (we love engaging esp when the customer seems VERY excited or enthusiastic abt the commission!)

a lot of irl turmoil tends to happen in our life which can make a comm delayed sometimes. could be severe mental health problems, just being busy w/ shit in general. its important to just keep your customers up to date, especially if its going to take a realllyyy long time or the customer likes frequent updates.

i used to be able to get shit done in like a night. but, with an actual line up/queue of comm work we progressively started taking longer and longer esp as we transitioned from a teenager starting out and into a busy adult with persistent mental health issues. (plus our art becomes more complex as time goes on, so that has to be taken into account) tbhs, depending on your availability and how much effort goes into your work, and as the demand grows, you need to charge accordingly and just be honest with your clientele.

as for TOS do what makes you comfortable! make your limits known and put your foot down when a request or any topic makes you uncomfortable. dont let your customers get inappropriate with you or try to make you feel bad if they dont wanna pay for what they ask for, etc. i also recommend requesting payment after sketch/half and half when starting out just so you can get some experience under your belt + assure future clients that youre professional n wont scam them! (if you plan on switching to payment upfront in the future)

just remember that u are not a machine, you are a human being making art for someone else. putting love n effort into your craft, time and effort. take your time getting the hang of comm stuff, things dont have to be perfect in your setup at first.

[waddingham]

would love to hear some happy news today, hows poppy doing 🥺

aw im sorry i didn't see this before i went to bed so here have this <3

When she pushes her hair back for the fifth time in half as many minutes, this time with an adorably tiny huff of frustration, he intervenes.

"Poppy, honey, is your hair botherin' you? You want me to put it up for you?"

She nods, scowling at the game in front of her, and Ted makes a mental note that it might be about time for a haircut.

Poppy pops up and disappears without explanation, so Ted follows her up the stairs to the bathroom. He finds her on her tip-toes digging into a drawer filled with colorful hair contraptions.

"Whatcha lookin' for, hmm?"

"Here," she says, holding up two tiny yellow hair ties to him. "Can you do the plaits like Mama does, please?"

"Oh," he says, taking the hair ties. Shoot.

He has no idea how to do her braids. And he really is certain it won't be as neat and efficient as Rebecca does it.

But she's pointing those doe eyes up at him and it can't be too hard. And he would love to know, to be able to do it as easily as Rebecca, so it's about time he learned.

"That depends," he says, squatting down. "I've never done your braids before, Pop. But if you're patient while I learn, I think we can do it."

Poppy nods and he smiles, sweeping her up onto his hip as he rises.

"Alright, c'mon."

He gets her settled in front of him on the chaise end of the sofa, occupied with a coloring book. They're French braids, he knows that, and he's watched Rebecca do it, but at speeds he couldn't follow if he tried, so his first order of business is a consultation with Mr. Google.

He watches a video as he mindlessly combs his fingers through Poppy's waves, which seem to have less and less real curl by the day. He works out any little tangles with his fingers as he gets the gist of the twist.

"Looks simple enough," he mutters mostly to himself.

He gets her hair parted all the way down, knowing she wants two braids. That should make it easier, maybe, he thinks as he ties up one side to keep it out of the way.

He starts at the top of her head scooping up some hair. He splits it into three sections, then goes back to the video to make sure he's got it right when he starts crossing the side strands over into the middle. He doesn't even get to adding hair before he realizes he is way too close to her part for it to be right, and starts over.

It is tricky. Way trickier than the video or Rebecca makes it look. The first twists are easy enough, but trying to pick up the right amount of hair and add it to the bundle without mixing it in with the other two strands or dropping any is difficult.

"Oh, this takes practice," he mutters as he combs it back out, having accidentally made one strand twice as big as the rest.

"This might take a minute," he warns Poppy. "You okay with that?"

"Yeah. I'm colorin'," she assures him and he smiles. Of course she doesn't care as long as it's out of her face.

He tries to figure the best way to hold onto the strands to not make a mess of this, asking Poppy about what she's coloring as he does some trial and error. Very slowly, he starts to get it, and learns how to backtrack without having to take the whole thing out and start over when he messes it up. Which really speeds the process up.

"Okay," he says slowly, smiling as he braids the ends of her hair until they're too small to work with, bundling them together just below the edge of her shoulder. "I think we got something here."

He holds a hand out in front of her.

"Hair tie me."

She hands him the little elastic and he ties it off. It's a little lopsided as one third grew too fast, maybe a little loose at the top where he was wary of pulling too tight, but it looks like success.

It's easier the second time, now that he's got the motion down, even though he still fumbles a little bit with it. But Poppy's unbothered and he goes slow, trying to get it smoother than the other side.

He grins wide as he secures it, satisfied with the mostly-symmetrical, somewhat messy result.

"How's that, Pops?" he asks, leaning forward. "That feel okay?"

She nods, bringing her hands up to feel it.

"It ain't pullin' or anything?"

"Nope," she says, turning around with a smile. "Good job, Teddy."

He grins at her heartfelt praise as she gives him a little hug before climbing down from the sofa.

"Thank you, pumpkin," he chuckles.

She goes back to her game on the floor and he goes back to his laptop, finishing up his chunk of the coaching report. He kills some time with Poppy then, letting her explain the baffling rules of the game she's made up with the Guess Who? boards. He's just starting to think about what they might do for dinner when he hears Rebecca come in the front door.

She calls out a greeting and Poppy hops up, always eager to greet her mother. She meets her in the doorway to the living room where she gets lifted up with a, "Mummy."

"Hi, baby," Rebecca smiles, kissing her little girl's cheek. She does a double take when she pulls back though, sweeping a hand over her hair. "I didn't do this this morning, did I?"

Poppy shakes her head, smiling. "Teddy did it."

"Teddy did it?" she says, turning to where Ted is still stretched out on the floor. He gives her a smile at the look on her face.

"Well, let's just have a look," she says, setting Poppy on her feet on the couch, where she spins around.

"How'd I do, boss?" he asks.

She nods, the corners of her mouth pulled down in an expression of impressed surprise.

"Very good for your first time and not having someone to teach you," she says, giving him a smile.

"Poppy was very, very patient with me," he praises.

"He only pulled once," Poppy says, turning to her mother with a pointed look.

"Oh, unlike your horrid, evil mother who just lives to tug on your hair," she says dramatically, pulling Poppy into her arms again. She cradles her against her, tickling her belly and squeezing a giggle out of her as she continues to lament, "Oh, how terrible, how cruel she is."

Ted snorts, having heard this particular topic argued probably a dozen times now.

Rebecca drops down onto the couch with Poppy in her arms, letting out a sigh. Poppy wiggles until she gets herself upright on Rebecca's lap, who looks over her hair again with a soft smile, tucking one loose bit beneath another.

"Did you thank Teddy for painstakingly teaching himself how to manage your hair?"

She frowns as she thinks, then gasps, "I forgot!" before she climbs off Rebecca completely.

She comes to him with a sweet, "Thank you, Teddy," and presses a teeny tiny little kiss to his cheek that has him smiling wide.

"You're very welcome, baby."

[spacexfucker]

I'm in a couple of autistic parenting autistics groups (and had to leave some too) and honestly it makes me want to pull my hair out how many times I see someone ask for advice because their autistic kid is doing something "frustrating" or their mood has gotten significantly worse and they ask how to "fix" that behavior and its like...being autistic yourself doesn't mean that you don't need to be reading up on child development stuff or looking into autistic testimonials. Especially if you're a low support needs autistic person with a high support child.

Like more times than I can count someone will say that their kid has been melting down more than usual but will deny changes in routine or a burnout and then eventually admit outright to going out unpredictably or a big life change like a new baby or moving.

And so so many will say "oh well my kid has the tablet to regulate" and that just pisses me off so much because your kid being autistic isn't like a pass to just give your kid a tablet and call it a day. People need more than one way to regulate. People need support. Being autistic doesn't mean we don't need a parent! My daughter doesn't like full body hugs or traditional cuddling but she still likes parallel play and for me to be present and validate her feelings! Someone being nonverbal doesn't mean that they don't have anything going on in their own head.

Kids don't have to be autistic to get overwhelmed or tired. Kids don't have to be autistic to get thrown by change in routine. Being autistic impacts how intense it can feel for those things to happen. And how much harder it is to calm down and reset. Just because you didn't have to take long or do much to center after the holidays doesn't mean you can just sit your kid down with a tablet and call it good. Just staying in but doing regular stuff at home isn't enough to regulate everyone.

Being autistic yourself does not mean that you are going to know what to do for your autistic child! Because not all autistic people are the same! Especially when our support needs are different. Especially when there's trouble with communication. Listening to your favorite music on blast may help some and may make others worse! Isolation may help you and may disregulate someone else! I'm begging you to treat your autistic kids like whole and complete people.

And im not saying tablets shouldn't be used. They're a great tool. But they can't be the only thing you use for any kid, autistic or not. Kids struggle with self regulating whether they're autistic or not. And if your kid is high support they likely are developmentally in a place where they need co regulation longer.

Just because your kid had a fun time at grandma's for Christmas doesn't mean they won't have a meltdown later. Just because the suprise fun day out was fun doesn't mean that they don't need to be regulated later. Stopping at a fast food place for their favorite fries is still a change in expected routine! Positive things can be overwhelming too!

I'm low support but if I get upset enough, the show I watch every day (for years now) will make me worse. Because I'm too worked up for it to comfort me.

You cant just employ a single regulatory technique like a tablet after the stressor has happened. You have to be doing your best to make the whole experience from start to finish less of a nightmare and then put actual focus into figuring out what regulation techniques would work best for your kid. My daughter's special interest is Bluey. it's on near constantly. All bluey all day every day. But sometimes I know what she needs is me to lay with her in a dark room in silence. Or a nice warm shower. Or a ride in the car. Etc etc. But I give her options. And then she'll want bluey after.

Behavior is communication! Not something to "fix" as in make go away because it's bothering you but "help" as in figure out the cause through trial and error and do your best to help through the process. And you're not always going to get it right or get ahead of the meltdown. Mistakes happen. Some things are unavoidable. But you can't just act like it's ridiculous or whatever. You have to accept that it was an eventuality and do your best to keep them safe and be there for them through the meltdown. Work on developing a way to communicate even if it's not with verbal or tablet aac. It's going to be work but your kid deserves it. They deserve to feel heard and cared for. Their feelings are not an obstacle for you to just bulldoze over. They're still kids!

[paalove]

just reread nothing to lose and i am once again thinking about "pran doesn’t listen to his parents about much, right?" pran doesn't listen to his parents about much... pran doesn't listen to his parents about much... AHHHHH!!!

also thinking about how the week I finished bad buddy I was like PRAN ELLA ENCHANTED AU and just rotating this in my mind along with that concept. idk if you have read ella enchanted but as a possible prompt— a bad buddy, pran cursed with obedience! au

HEY. YOU SENT THIS MONTHS AGO AND I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT WEEKLY SINCE. 🥰

first: thank you ily, im glad you like that tiny little au it's one of my favourite pocket-universes <3

second: main fic coming in... hopefully the next couple of weeks? meanwhile here is a scattered little multi-pov intro to the fic i HAVE been calling "ella enpranted" xoxo

...

“Listen to me, Pran,” his mother says.

He does, because she’s his mother, and he does because he has to.

Concern etched into the lines of her face, deep deep worry and upset in her eyes, she orders him, “Stay away from that boy as much as you can,” and Pran will, because he has to.

As much as he can.

…

It’s hard to track him down this week – sometimes Pran gets skittish – but Pat finds him on Wednesday! It’s just been art, and Pat is taking the not-allowed-but-whatever shortcut that goes behind and around the weird little separate building that’s been used for art since they switched where all the languages rooms are, and there-

“Pran!” he calls, running over.

As he does, Pran’s head jerks up and he looks over and his eyes go wide, face startled, but he doesn’t look mad so Pat knows he’s only stashing his books away because he likes an escape route, he’s not mad at Pat.

So, Pat grabs the folder furthest from Pran and picks it up, flipping through and seeing a bunch of physics notes in Pran’s neat handwriting and smooth, black ink, because Pran never seems to have a pen go dry in the middle of writing anything, it’s all so even and careful.

Pran reaches out for it, then his hand freezes like an inch away from it and he says, “Pat, give that back.”

“No,” Pat says, but he’s smiling at Pran and Pran smiles back.

Shaking his head and turning – saying with his shoulders I’m not waiting for you and saying with the half smile but you can follow me if you want, I guess, it’s whatever – Pran says, “I need the folder back at some point.”

“I’ll give it back later,” Pat agrees.

Pran runs off when he doesn’t have something hostage, but he’s never mad about Pat taking his stuff. It’s just a game they play.

…

“Has someone told you to do something you don’t want to?”

She’s genuinely concerned, he knows that.

But she hasn’t ordered him to be honest, so he’s got enough leeway to not say you, Mae, it’s always you, because that would hurt her feelings and it wouldn’t change anything anyway, and Pran instead says, “The teacher assigned us both to be in the band,” and lets her remember all that trial and error, years ago, when they had to figure out how the orders worked.

Pran’s parents know that his too-powerful, too-flighty aunt’s gift was for them, so their orders normally take precedence over anyone else’s; they also know that their later orders take precedence over earlier ones, unless they specifically build something in, like telling him to disregard later ones that contradict the one they’re making right now. This pause is, he’s sure, letting his mother remember telling him to always consider teachers’ orders to outweigh all but a select few of her own.

Of course, most of what Pran’s figured out, he hasn’t told them.

Or even written down.

It’s safer to keep what he knows to himself.

His mother closes her eyes, nods, and says, “I suppose it couldn’t be avoided at that school.”

Pran wishes he had any way of stopping what comes next.

…

Dissaya’s son is honest, kind, and good.

Those are things she knows about him, things that she needs to protect and nourish and help to grow, and things that can’t be poisoned in him the way they were in her. She doesn’t like making him sad, dragging him away from his friends, but Pran is so vulnerable.

Moreso because of the gift.

It made her heart freeze in her chest the first time she saw him on the playground, some smaller child cheering him on, Higher! Higher, and the face of frozen fear on Pran’s face not even slightly getting in the way of how high he was swinging-

She still shudders to think of it.

Her sister-in-law was unrepentant when she called. Of course a gift of obedience doesn’t stop at the walls of their household, she’d laughed, but it’s always going to be stronger for family, isn’t that nice?

It’s not in her nature to yell, really, especially not at her husband’s beloved little sister, but she made an exception that day.

And then she had started to plan.

The idea that her careful planning and careful instructions to Pran haven’t been enough, haven’t kept him safe…

She’s never a coward except when it comes to Pran.

Dissaya sends him away.

…

It’s not written down, not anywhere, but Pran has a list of things he knows to be true about his gift.

His parents’ gift.

If his parents tell him, directly, to do something, he can’t help but do it. There’s no resisting directly, from the second he hears the order he begins to carry it out.

Physically impossible orders are an absolute exception – they arrive at Pran’s ears like normal, non-magical words, just the way a normal sentence works for anyone else on earth. He won’t try to fly if someone tells him to.

If anyone outside his family tells him directly to do something possible, it depends on what his parents have said first, but normally… he has to do it.

Pat telling him to race counts.

Pat whining at him to stop ignoring him also counts.

Pran has some leeway in deciding what counts.

In fact, Pran decides what an order means. He can know his parents meant one thing, but if the actual words they used mean something else… Pran can pick, kind of. Only kind of. He’s been experimenting with those limits for years.

The final part of it, the part that he’s known from the start and can never let himself forget or forgive, is the part that’s least useful and most essential.

8. It’s not a gift.

Because Pran has those old orders – keep yourself safe, don’t hurt others, and always prioritise teachers over other kids – and they make something like a shield, but one that it hurts to hold. The order to ignore other people’s orders no matter what never, never worked.

They must be physically impossible. Or something like that.

[crazylittlejester]

Got slammed into a fatigue wall so I'm lying in bed and thinking again. :>

I spent a few hours yesterday translating a Skyward Sword fic from English (American) to Portuguese (Brazilian) and I think it turned out okay. (It's probably also half the reason I'm so drained right now but I'm ignoring that.) I swear I have a point I'm trying to make, but it's going to take a few roundabouts to get there.

I've been doing Fic Rec Friday, and I think people like it. I like it, anyway. I've got way too many bookmarks and people keep writing new things, and I think it's fun to look through what I've read during the past month or so and pick something to showcase for the week. I've got a format figured out after a little bit of trial and error and I'm happy with it.

Back to translating. I'm not very good at it because I'm still learning. I haven't taken composition class yet, which is a whole other side tangent, so I'll stop there. But the point is I'm wondering if maybe I should post the links to what I've translated here in a similar format to how I've been posting Fic Rec Friday. I highly doubt many people would read them since there's like... 5 LU fics in total if you put the French and Spanish translations together. And I'm also self-conscious because I'm practically glued to my ENG-POR dictionary at this point. But it's a thought.

Which sort of leads to my next thought being whether or not I should go back to posting the fics I've written here or not. I was posting the Whumptober fics during October but I stopped doing that once the event ended even though I'm still chugging through. I'm definitely doing something to celebrate getting to the end once I finish.

All that to say, I'm not 100% sure what I want to do. I know I want to organize things again (the brain demands it), I'm just not sure if people mind seeing my Ao3 posts of dubious quality. I have more confidence in other people than I do myself, I guess.

Either way, don't feel like you have to give me advice, I just wanted to get my thoughts out there on the topic in case someone else was thinking about the same things. You're always really kind and empathetic and willing to listen to literally anything, too.

PS: I am planning to work on an EAH & LU crossover AU thing once I get myself together.

Okay first of all it’s really cool that ur translating fics. That sounds like a lot of work, but it’s so cool and like damn, good for you dude that’s awesome

Second: I LOVE UR FIC REC FRIDAY, i think we as a fandom should recommend more fics, i love when people share stuff they like and ive found a lot of awesome stuff that way! Plus it’s always fun to talk to people about really good fics :)

If you do decide to post ur fics on here that’d be really cool, I dunno if you mean like whole fics or just ao3 links or a combo of both, but i think that’d be nice to see em. I love opening tumblr and seeing people share their writing, and even if i cant read it right then, i almost always save it to come back to later :)

I’ll always listen to anything people say, and while I may not be the greatest at giving advice, i’ll try my best!! and if anyone else has any thoughts on this im sure they’ll leave a comment of some sorts

(i look forward to the au whenever you get around to it!!)

[tedlebred]

if youre comfortable sharing, whats your rendering process? what are some ways you learned? your art is very yummy

HSHSHHSHS hello!!!!!!!!!! first off omg,,,, thank you so much,,,,🤭🤭

secondly!!!! heres my attempt at a rendering process explanation. uhm. warning ive never really been asked to explain it before please bare with me

BUT. here goes. this'll probably be ungodly long apologies

so when i render my biggest rule is basically Do Not Blend Ever. what i do is do my sketch, then flats, then basic placement of blush/shadows+darkest parts/etc and then i go in and just colourpick the inbetweens+place them between colours in small strokes until the changes in colour don't look too sharp/jarring

here's some examples of the process;;;

(still a wip but HSHSHHS) so i work on 3 layers primarily (sometimes i do the hair+items that cover the face on another layer, too, though they might end up getting merged):

^ with just the sketch layer n flats / and then with the render layer added

i go in with a bigger brush to block in colour variation on the face on the flats layer and then paint over that, as well as over the sketch, with smaller strokes on a render layer- i never do lineart lol, and any "lineart" thats visible is just the sketch peeking through. I try to rely on colour and shadow to create shapes and boundaries instead of lines though this isn’t a hard and fast rule.

i also try to stick to the same pallette the entire drawing- once the flats and shadows are first roughly blocked in all the other tones/midshades/colours are basically just inbetweens picked directly from the drawing. Just me zooming in real close till I can see the pixels and colour picking where they sort of mix. (any smaller shifts in hue/tones are just colours with saturation slightly turned up or down, usually) im also not sure if this helps but i use the Sol brush from the clip studio assets store for literally everything from sketch to render, which is basically just a slightly soft opacity brush which ive deluded myself into thinking helps give my art a softer look. idfk if it does or not.:)

I like to use really saturated blush and for shadows I usually use two base colours; a warmer one and a colder one- a warmer one for smaller shadows and shadows near light and then colder ones for planes more in darkness. Also, usually, at the very end of the drawing I’ll add a layer that’s just fully yellow with colour burn or linear burn or multiply turned on and the opacity turned low just to make everything warmer. (a little thing I like doing for shadows sometimes is never making them reach the edge of the plane; the actual edge is usually a slightly lighter shade and it sort of looks like stylised bounce light that would probably not be there but anyhoo)

but yeah,,,, Never Blend But Make It Look Almost Blended. I’ve been doing it forever,,,,,, and I really like the almost shiny feeling it gives things:)))

And where did I learn. Ough. A lot of what I do I figured out through trial and error and just drawing a bunch (IM SORRY THATS REALLY NOT HELPFUL) but some sources I looked towards were sinix design and bluebiscuits on YouTube!!!!! Sinix has a really good video on rendering skin which is where I sort of took my principles from and ran. And bluebiscuits was a huge inspiration for me when I started trying to render things beyond flats!!!!!!! They’re also where I found the sol brush, lol. Also just,,, the impressionist movement as a whole is a massive inspiration. The use of light and shapes to create form is just,,, omg. Especially Claude Monet in particular. (and for the basics of drawing I learnt from my aunt!)

and honestly, just observing people. A lot of the time when I’m watching a movie or on a walk or even just talking with someone I tend to start looking at their face, and the different planes, how light hits it and how shadow interacts with it, where the shadows are harsher/softer……….people are wild man

I really hope that made sense!!!!!! I’ve never tried explaining it before and honestly, I’m not even really sure how I do it. I just sorta. Switch off and start drawing, yk? BUT I HOPE IT HELPED!!!!🫶🫶💞💖

in case that was all utter nonsense here’s a speedpaint that’ll hopefully demonstrate my process;;

I also have straight up screen recordings of me drawing but. I don’t think anyone wants to sit though that

thank you for the ask!!!!!have a nice day/night and SORRY THAT ENDED UP THAT LONG