#im getting too emotional about my own improvements

[lactoseintolerentswag]

Hm. Cake box mix in the cabinet and we bored so we made some and it didn't taste good. Like it didn't taste bad it just wasn't good. I used to get so anxious abt baking because everything had to be perfect. The first time I baked I actually accidentally set our only oven mit on fire. My dad used to joke that a meal made by someone else always tasted better because you didn't have to waste your energy to get the product. He said that to me when I apologized for the pancakes I made him being on the crispy side. And I mean yeah I got it. None of the treats I made were as delicious as the store bought ones in plastic squeaky boxes. Some of that was some ignorance of baking techniques like the time I cried because the frosting kept melting off my fresh out of the oven cupcakes. And some of that was because I only had a handful of years of baking things under my belt. My early chocolate chip cookies still had chunks of flour in them because I didn't stir enough, while my Mom's were smooth and buttery. But this cake box mix doesn't taste good. Not like the cake I made for my best friend's surprise party, or the pumpkin muffins I made for a family that let me stay over more than 2 nights. Ten years of baking under my belt. And I'm thinking I actually crave some of my own food instead of something I can buy in a plastic box. All the love, passion, and time I put into something really was worth it. This box mix is dry and too sweet. We can't quite shape those little frosting flowers right yet, but I know I can make some pretty fucking good frosting. And hey, I'm still bored.

[animeshotsh]

Chains P2 | Yandere!Alastor x Overlord!Reader x Brother!Husk

Notes: I havent seen the season finale so this may have OOC characters/events/ canon divergence in terms of time.

Warnings: Yandere!Alastor | mentions of blood, fight, violence, cursing | Mentions of Alastor eating habits | grammar mistakes |

Tags: @lorkai

Staying at the hotel has proved to be both, good and bad. Good, because you got to be with your brother everyday, feeling his soul so close made your mood improve a lot. When in the past you would be more cruel, angry and always hissing now you found a part of yourself you thought you had lost. Smiling and purring (the last only with Husk), its was a good Change. You also could see the good the Hotel was making in your Brother. Now sober and less grumpy towards others. Showing sings of trust and affection.

Now the bad, or terrible was that Alastor was always around.

Always.

His shadows could not mix with yours thanks to your power, but they would follow you and then tell Alastor where you were. And Alastor knowing how much you hated him would appear, calling you "sweet" nicknames that made you give him the death stare.

On Alastor part he was trhilled to have you so close and without having to do something for it. He never undertood why you cared for Husk so much but he took it for his advantage, he knew you would not try to pick up a fight with him because of your brother. And seeing you, your eyes showing just how much you wanted nothing more to destory him but could not made him feel things he was not sure what they were but the feeling was not an unpleasent one.

~☆~☆~☆~☆

Husk prepared himself an early drink only for it to be snached form his hands. A glass of milk now replacing it.

He shoot an annoyed look but still decided to drink the milk, he took notice of the fish sandwich you have made for him too.

Oh, you could be so sweet.

"You need Real food" you simply stated, crossing your arms "I can just smell how bad you have been taking care of yourself"

"Im fine, you dont have to worry" Husk dismissed. He did not want you to find out how truly fucked he had been.

"Oh~ I would not say that!! As your owner I had to stand your smell and poor hehaviour. Its nice to have a sweet sister to be around right?" Alastor spook towering over Husk them appearing besides you. "A sister who's soul its tainted but has such a good smell and so powerfull" Alastor was salivating by now "I wonder if you teast such as good as you look my Dear! No other overlord could compare to-" Alastor was stopped when a very pissed Husk trow the rest of the milk towards his face.

"Stop talking about my sister"

"Husk-"

"And what did you just do" The voice of Alastor changed, its shadow getting bigger. His eyes now a deep black with no emotion with his clawns being out and ready to attack Husk.

"I say, dont, talk, about, my, sister," Husk responded his love for you overcoming his fear of Alastor's power. He could crush his soul if he wanted.

In response Alasto's shadow started to grow, his teet got sharper, horns bigger as well as his claws and body. His eyes now a deep black with pupils like radio ones. A green chain appear, showing how Alastor owned Husk's soul.

"My, my, looks like I have left you be too free in here" Alastor sinister voice said pulling Husk towards him who tried to remain emotionless.

"Maybe I should show you what happens when you missbehave" Two claws went for Husk's left eyes ready to pull it out. "Maybe I should pull this thing out and eat it. Let you see how truly bad I can be" he half joked.

Before anything could happen Alastor was pushed hard away from Husk by you. Your own true Demon form now on display. You got bigger, your wings now with a sharp end as well as your tail, your eyes just like Alastor deep black with no pupil. You got two pointed horns as well. And your hands were now with black furr, red claws out.

"Dont fucking dare to hurt my brother" you roared sending off your poker cards to cut off the black tentacles Alastor had called.

He smirked, pulling out his shadows to try and get you down only for them to be vanish when a sudden fire erupet from your hands.

"My dear! This is New, I never know you could control fire!" Alastor said pretty much now into the battle with you forgetting Husk.

A wall was crashed as you two rolled outside the hotel, getting everybody's attention.

Alastor ended on top of you a tentacle firm around your neck, however one of your poker cards was against his neck. Just one move from any of you and both of you would be dead.

"WHAT IS THIS" A very Angry Charlie called, besides her Vaggie came looking just as angry.

Alastor smirked letting you got, going back to his usual form as you did as well.

"Ah Charlie! This was just a small fight between old Friends" Alastor said moving his hand to repair the wall.

"SMALL? You two broke a wall" Vaggie called getting just a smirk from Alastor and a blush from you.

"Im sorry, this wont happen again" you promised seeing Alastor from the corner of your eyes.

"It better not, or you are out" Vaggie finally called. In reality she would prefer for you to stay and Alastor to leave but she knew that saddly they needed the radio Demon in the hotel.

~☆~☆~☆~

As night fell you went to Alastor's room, knocking with Force the door opened revealing himself with a fake suprised look.

"(Y/N) I was not expecting you"

"Lets get to the Point. What can I give an no. Not my soul so you wont hurt my brother"

"Well, you need to know it was his fault" he started getting a hiss from you. "Can you blame me? He trow milk at me, my suit was ruined"

"We both know you were looking for a reaction out of him. Just tell me what you want"

Alastor seemed to think, you were proud and firm. Too proud to negotiate your soul. Even if you loved your brother you knew it would not change much. Sure, Husk would be free but how free? He could very much try and give his soul back to get yours out of Alastor's hand.

"Well, what I was saying was true. I wish to know if you teast as good as you look" he smirked taking your chin in his hand " you might have something to give me"

~☆~☆~☆~☆

Alastor stood in his room. Carefully drinking from a tea cup with a black liquid inside. Besides it a full bottle with the same liquid was.

He closed his eyes, feeling the flavor of your blood. If your blood was like this what would your flesh be like? Could he ever dream on getting a bite from you?

And why did he find the small fight against you so....he had no words. He felt alive full of something he could not understand.

Oh, he had to get your soul somehow. No matter how.

~☆~☆~☆~

[loveushijima]

ushijima bf hcs!!! like how would he be as a bf?

thank youuu!! <33

ushijima wakatoshi as your boyfriend!

fluffffffffffff, clueless ushiwaka | female reader

a/n: hi pookie bear im so sorry but i have no idea how to write headcanons so i hope this is acceptable n i did ur request justice <3 😭 also not proofread!

Let’s start from the beginning:

Ushijima would not understand that his feelings for you are more than just platonic.

In the beginning, Ushijima would see you as a great friend to have.

But overtime, he would start to feel weird. The slightest touch you give him would send electricity all over his body, he’d memorise your daily schedule and subconsciously alter his path so he’d be able to bump into you more, and he’d take notice of the way you smiled or the way you put your hand up to cover your lips whenever you laughed.

He thought your smile and laugh were beautiful and contagious, why would you ever feel the need to do that?

Ushijima wouldn’t think much about it, he’d brush it off as him treating you nicer because you’re one of his only girl friends.

Tendou, however, isn’t that dense.

Tendou took notice of the way whenever something reminded Ushijima of you, he’d immediately ask out loud, “I wonder if she’d like this…” or, “If she was here right now, she would probably enjoy this very much.”

He sighs, his friend is not very adapt to his own feelings.

Tendou has a loooooong conversation with Ushijima before Ushijima finally realises that his feelings for you aren’t purely platonic.

“Wakatoshi-kun, do you get butterflies in your stomach whenever I lay a hand on you?”

“No.”

“Do you ever think my smile is beautiful and contagious?”

“…not really.”

“Ouch. But there you go, Waka-kun!”

“Ah.”

Ushijima isn’t the type to beat around the bush and get shy and blushy once he comes to terms with his feelings. Actually, he would be the type to not confess to you at all in case the confession completely ruins the friendship. But with Tendou’s relentless peer pressure, Ushijima eventually gives in and asks if you’d be available to meet around the dormitory buildings one evening after all classes at Shiratorizawa Academy has ended.

There, he confesses.

“I have feelings for you.” He confesses… rather bluntly.

“Oh?”

“Yes. I would rather we just pretend this did not happen and go back to being how we normally were before this confession.”

“What???? But you didn’t even let me answer!”

“Oh. My apologies, go on.”

“If you would’ve let me talk, I would’ve accepted your confession! Idiot.”

Ushijima blinks in surprise and lets a small smile spread across his features.

“Thank you for accepting my confession.”

Now, Ushijima Wakatoshi as a boyfriend:

You would 100% be his first girlfriend, so please be patient! Whatever he says or does that gets on your nerves, he promises he means no harm — he’s just super oblivious.

Canonically, Wakatoshi is very well-mannered and polite. The epitome of a gentleman.

However, sometimes social cues fail him and his low emotional intelligence can be the death of him. Sometimes he can appear too blunt or aloof.

“Gosh, how did I fail this test?”

“I think you did not study hard enough. Try harder next time.”

“😡.”

He genuinely thinks he’s giving you constructive criticism and helping you out but in actuality, all you wanted was a listening ear.

There are certain things you have to be upfront with Wakatoshi about, such as certain wants. Wakatoshi is an upfront person himself, so as your boyfriend he’d be more than grateful if you just communicated your feelings to him straight up with no filter.

Setting all that aside, he tries so hard for you.

“So when I say, ‘Oh noooo, I failed a test!’ What are you supposed to say, Toshi?”

“I can’t believe you failed. That damned professor did you so wrong. The school system sucks.”

“Yes!!!!!!!!!” And you kiss him all over his face after his new and improved response. He smiles and leans in even more.

Wakatoshi’s love languages would also definitely be Acts of Service and Gift Giving.

He isn’t a man of many words, so he tries to make up for the lack of poetry by showing you his love, through his gestures. It could range from the bare minimum such as holding the door open for you, pushing your head gently onto his shoulder if you were nodding off to sleep, or whenever you’re both walking on a path beside an open road with traffic, he makes sure you stand safely inside and he stands on the side nearer to the road.

Or, it could be things more evident to show you he loves you. Such as making you bento boxes from scratch (all the ingredients fresh from his farm, of course), letting you wear his jacket if you get cold and blushing because of how cute you looked in it, or sometimes just being present with you. During the weekends, if he doesn’t have volleyball training and you have some errands to run, he offers to follow you and help run some of the errands on your list to make your life easier — it warms your heart but you always decline and tell him, “You don’t have to! I can do all this myself, Toshi. How about you just keep me company for the day while I run these errands? I would love to hear more about that match you played last Friday against that one school!”

He loves you so much.

As I mentioned before, Wakatoshi is not a man of many words. So, he would definitely enjoy the idea of gift giving very much. It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about, it could be the manga you and Tendou were currently reading together or how many different types of rice you could name, Wakatoshi listens to every single thing you talk about.

And he remembers.

Wakatoshi walks up to you one Monday morning, a bag in his hand and his normal aloof expression on his face. He hands you the bag and you look up at him confused. You open up the bag and gasp loudly, beaming ear to ear as you pick up the box from inside the bag. It was a figurine of the main character in that manga you and Tendou were reading. You jump into Wakatoshi’s arms as his aloof expression turns into one of fondness. He could stay in that position forever if God wills.

Remember the bento boxes Wakatoshi would make for you? He’d 100% remember your favourite type of rice and use that specific grain type for your bento boxes.

Wakatoshi remembered all the small, funny and mundane things about you, but sometimes that’s all you need. Everyone always remembers the exciting and thrilling things, like that one time you shop-lifted or that one time you got into a disciplinary case. Wakatoshi felt like a breath of fresh air from all the chaos. It felt nice to have someone remember your favourite flowers, or your favourite type of rice.

It’s a type of love that’s so innocent and pure, and sometimes that’s the best kind of love.

Wakatoshi would also definitely share more about himself with you than he has with anyone ever. He would tell you about his father leaving, his left-handedness being his mother’s biggest shame in life, and if he ever feels overworked or burnt out at times with volleyball. Wakatoshi was never one to moan and groan about his problems, but he just felt so safe with you, as if he could tell you anything and you’d still be there with him every step of the way. He felt so, so safe with you.

He’d want you to tell him about your problems too if you are ever facing any troubles. He wouldn’t force it out of you but of course he hopes that one day you’d be comfortable enough to share more about yourself with him. Wakatoshi really wants to know more about you as the relationship progresses more.

Wakatoshi is definitely the type of boyfriend who’d walk you to class in the morning and back to the dormitories in the evening. He’s a busy student — being the captain and ace of the volleyball team and juggling his academics was no easy task, but he always makes sure to accompany you whenever he has free time. Wakatoshi could spend just 5 minutes with you and he’d already be in a better mood after chatting with you.

The Shiratorizawa Volleyball Team Year 1s™ thank you for your service, as ever since their captain has gotten together with you, he’s become better vocally during trainings and so much more approachable. Of course he’s not hooting and hollering across the gymnasium, but he actually mumbles out a small “Nice kill.” now if impressed by one of his members.

One time Wakatoshi told Goshiki that his serves that training session were good and the junior swore he heard angels singing and he almost ascended to heaven on the spot.

You definitely brought out the best in Wakatoshi, and he loved you for that.

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Hey dude. It's me - anon with that SAGAU!kid!reader idea. Well, I was thinking about Liyue or Sumeru men (I'm that kind of person, that's into guys LOL). If there is a relationship, then only platonic one (or maybe father-child in Zhongli's case).

So I will try to go with Zhongli, Baizhu, Alhaitham and Cyno (probably Gaming, cuz he's like a son to me) That's it for now Hope I didn't ask for much tho 😅

CONNECTED TO THIS IDEA!

Aye aye, Anon! God!Child! Reader Platonic Meets Ups It is!

Also plz note that I might not be able to list every Sumeru/Liyue man there is in Genshin bc Im doing this at the top of my head—

Sumeru And Liyuen Men (And Gaming) With The God Child.

(Warning: Might be OOC!)

Cyno

The General Mahamatra may not exactly be well-versed when it comes to comforting words (except his puns—and even then, many people would say otherwise), but Cyno is a sincere man. You can trust that he will stick to his word.

And he does, when he promised to look after the Almighty Creator who is a child (not unlike Nahida, but they certainly have more of a mindset of a child—). But was he expecting your chaotic behavior (explosives Klee Style)? Yeah...No.

Bro nearly thought you were held at gunpoint or tricked/manipulated into doing it until he realized you did on your own.

"...Your Grace...Please don't blow up the store again." So instead of protecting you from harm by others, Cyno is more focused on protecting others from harm by you. As much as he doesn't like to think of it that way, you were a lot more dangerous than any eremite or sand monster there was out there.

At least he's still doing his job, being the General Mahamatra! You gift him a flower crown, and he has to take it or else. :)

Tighnari

Since he works with many young forest rangers, and tutors Collei, Tighnari is probably used to dealing with children. Dealing with the Almighty Creator certainly wasn't going to be an issue under this Forest Watcher's eyes.

That was...until you blew up a rishboland tiger. By yourself. On your own. Without getting hurt.

He was not the only freaking out, mind you. Collei was losing it, and Tighnari? He's internally screaming and getting metaphorical heart attacks.

"Your Grace, what were you thinking, running off like that? I know you're strong and you want to protect everyone, but you can really hurt the environment and—" He tries his best to hold back his sassiness while he scolds you, considering some children are much more emotional than others.

He sets up some basic rules for you to follow to make sure that you respect the Avidya Rainforest grounds, but also protect yourself from any form of harm.

Bro becomes a helicopter parent while you're under his care. Have fun, and I hope you enjoy mushrooms. Collei will cook you something else if you don't like what Tighnari cooks, though. :)

Kaveh

This man. He will BUILD you toys. He will DRAW you stories. He may even tell you stories himself.

Mehrak is your best friend when you're around Kaveh. And that man tries his best to make sure your time with him is good. He also refrains from drinking, which is nice! He's improving a little! :D

Absolutely gets worried if you run off without him knowing or if you're hiding from him for too long while playing hide and seek. He goes into an utter MELTDOWN.

And if you blow something up? Boy, if you thought Tighnari getting metaphorical heart attacks was bad, think again—Kaveh might actually get a heart attack.

"Your Grace! What—What were you thinking? Where were you? What did you do? Why did I hear an explosion?!" He's trying to keep himself as calm as possible, but Kaveh is an emotional man. He's kind of failing—

Luckily, with your go-lucky attitude, you pull Kaveh around and take his mind off of work and your explosions! Win-win! :D

Al-haitham

The moment Nahida assigned him the task of taking care of the Almighty Creator, who is a child, bro is planning his things carefully. He is safe-keeping his books, he's renovating Kaveh's bedroom (bc yes), he's buying a few colouring books and crayons.

What he caught him by surprise was not how trusting you were to new strangers you barely knew. It was how you had fun with explosions and exploding everything in your path.

You can imagine as you're being carried away by the Scribe, he's giving you a one-sentence scolding.

"Your Grace, don't ever do that again, it's not nice." He would go into further detail, but he's sure you wouldn't care all that much about data and analysis and stuff like that, so he just ends it as it is.

You're still gonna do it, there's no doubt. It's just now Al-haitham is preparing for your next incoming attack as well.

Zhongli

Grandpa gramps is here woohoo! He's probably the most calmest out of everyone on this request list LOL. You can imagine he's following you calmly, apologizing and paying (through Childe's money cough) for the damages you caused.

Believe it or not, but it was Hu Tao who found you first and decided to take you to Mr. Zhongli for babysitting. He contemplates how the Director found you and brought you back.

The first time you explode something, he is definitely surprised. And concerned of the people who got hurt. You can't fault him for being worried for the mortals that were involved—Liyue Harbor is basically his child. Bro's been governing it for thousands of years.

"Your Grace, Little One, let's try not to put strain in the efforts of an adult's day-to-day life." He scolds you, and will definitely be more keen on your whereabouts, but he does this in a gentle tone. At the very least, you give him something to do that doesn't require him to present himself as the supposedly "deceased" Geo Archon.

Baizhu

With the guy's health issues...it's hard to say if he'll be able to keep up with you and your constant outings all around Liyue Harbor. Changsheng is definitely worried about Baizhu's stress levels as he has to figure out what you did this time and make sure no one was harmed.

He constantly has to ask Qiqi to go find you since he literally cannot keep up with your speed, lest he actually faints or something. You were that quick.

Luckily, if he hears of your whereabouts, he will definitely arrive just in time to apologize and give free check-ups to everyone involved in your explosion party.

"Now, Your Grace, please refrain from hurting others. It's not good to hurt someone's health." You can certainly expect Baizhu to give you a scolding—as well as a basic understanding of medical care in case either you or someone else will need it, and he can't make it there in time.

Like Kaeya (And Tighnari in this post), Baizhu will definitely write you some rules in a notebook and makes you recite them at least twice a day so that you remember not to hurt other people or damage your own health.

He is a doctor for a reason. It's his job to look out for others—even chaotic children with explosives.

Gaming

HAVE NO FEAR, GAMING IS HERE!

Bro is basically your Big Brother who does cool dances and gives you snacks and protects you. Since he's a real foody, you'll definitely know which places are the best to buy snacks!

You find his Wushou Dancing cool as well. He takes pride in it tbh. I mean, who wouldn't be ecstatic if the Almighty Creator loves it?

He does get a bit panic-y when he sees you blow things up, though. As much as he wants to pursue Wushou Dancing as his daily career, he still needs his job as a Shipment Guard.

"Y/N! No! Don't blow that up—!" Yes, he took you out once to travel with the shipment goods for one time, and he's never taken you with him again unless you promise not to blow anything that are near the goods.

He usually leaves you in Liyue Harbor when he's making these Shipment trips, but once he returns, you can certainly count on him to give you some tasty snack or a fulfilling dinner, as well as a free small Wushou Dance.

Big Brother Gaming does not disappoint!

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: I AM VERY DEAD. I AM SO SORRY SOBBING. Life hits you hard and fast sometimes sigh. I've been so busy I haven't been posting much—but rest assured, I have quite a lot of posts for you guys very soon!

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

[depressopax]

hiii! im not sure if you write for gus (brba/bcs) but if you do, could i request a few headcanons (sfw or nsfw) of him with a gender neutral partner if possible :0 maybe qualities he finds attractive/would like in a partner, physically or personality wise or whatever you have in mind:] tysm ! i hope youre having a good one ♡

Tysm for the request!! <3 I made it into some relationship headcanons but tried mentioning what he likes in a partner etc… It may have turned out a bit dark lol, sorry ‘bout that 😭 Anywaysss hope ya like it! Have a good day anon!! 🫶

Gus Fring relationship headcanons

Fandom - Breaking Bad/Better call Saul

Gus x gn!reader - (N)SFW headcanons

Pairing: Gus Fring x gender-neutral reader Genre: Fluff, smut, (kinda angst too??), headcanons Warning(s): Slightly possessive Gus, cuss words. Sexual content (marked further down as “NSFW”, MDNI! Dom/sub dynamic, degradation. Words: 1.4k Summary: Being in a relationship with Gus Fring would include…  English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 || AO3 link || Masterlist || Request ||

SFW

First time Gus saw you was at Los Pollos Hermanos.

You were there with some friends and you immediately caught his eye.

Maybe it was your smile, your eyes or the way you talked to your friends that made his heart skip a beat

That, or the fact you and him made eye contact at least 4 times. 

But because of his dangerous life and past relationship traumas, he let you slip through his fingers, to not drag you into his chaos.

Or so he thought at least.

Truth is, you felt a spark, too. There was something dangerous about him, but also something charming.

Curious as you were, you went to LPH more often, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mysterious man - eventually learning he’s the manager. 

Gus of course noticed you being there more often. Ignoring you got harder.

One day you decided to shoot your shot - the same day he decided to strike a conversation with you. 

You learned his name is Gustavo Fring.

There was something about his smile and way of talking that charmed you.

But he also seemed very reserved and troubled. He seemed afraid to answer your flirting and got really flustered from it.

Just as you were about to give up your flirting attempts, he surprised you by asking you out on a date.

Of course, you said yes.

Gus enjoys good food and luxury, so it was no surprise he took you to a 5-star restaurant for the first date - his treat.

Not having been on a “real date” in over a decade, Gus was a nervous wreck lmao

Luckily he is good at handling stress. You barely noticed the emotions he kept under the surface. 

The date went really well. Gus is a good listener and listened to you in a way that was rare.

Even when you got a bit too nerdy about your interests, he listened with a smile. 

 But it did make you a bit concerned when he dodged questions about his own personal life. 

He realized himself how weird that must've come across, getting anxious that you wouldn’t contact him again.

Luckily, you did. 

Gus kept taking you on dates. 

The more he got to know you, the harder he fell in love. 

Actually - he figured he was in love already after the first kiss. 

Once getting clarity in what he felt, he knew what he had to do - Telling you the truth about who he is.

The fear of losing you was big. 

…But the fear of you staying, becoming part of his dangers - was bigger.

He explained to you how he had fallen in love with you, before dropping the bomb.

You were shocked, of course. 

After some days of thinking about what he’d told you, you made a decision.

Upon telling him; Gus felt a wave of emotions: Confusion, happiness, relief but also anxiety. But he put all that aside. 

Gus officially became your boyfriend and you couldn’t be more happy - neither could he.

All dangers aside - Gus does everything to be “boyfriend material” lol

His love language is touch, and words of affirmation.

He doesn’t let a day go by without telling you how much he loves you. 

He always wants you close - just holding your hand makes him feel good. 

He also likes spoiling you - expensive gifts, homemade dinners, road trips with him etc… 

He basically spends all his spare-time with you.

You spend a lot of time in his house, with or without him.

He has money, enough to provide you safety. 

Because of his enemies, and dangerous life, Gus gets very overprotective and a bit possessive.

Ngl he’d probably hire a bodyguard for you whenever you are away in another town with friends/family 😭 Or ask Mike to keep an eye on you lol

He’d be too paranoid to openly be in a relationship with you - but tell a few people he really trusted. If he could, he’d tell the whole world tho. He loves you and it frustrates him to not be able to tell people.

Gus is very good at reading people, so he often can see if something is wrong.

He’s a good listener and tries to always see things from your POV

He rarely gets mad at you either. 

Most of the time he’s calm and understanding.

He tries to always be there for you, if not with advice, at least with support and to offer you comfort. 

He also gives really good hugs 😌✨

Same goes for your interests/hobbies. He learns for example how to crochet, paint or whatever so you can make it a date.

He’ll let you talk about things you like for hours

Gus is not the type of person that likes indoor activities. Of course he appreciates movie nights, but I feel like he enjoys spending time outdoors.

Going hiking, walks in the forest, sightseeing etc etc

Weather doesn’t really matter to him. He’s def one of those that tells you to “Dress depending on the weather 🤪🤪” 

He enjoys cooking food for you, but also with you.

He’ll teach you some old family recipes 

When eating, he lits candles and makes it cozy so it feels like a restaurant. 

Gus appreciates movie nights too. Snacks, wine and cuddles whilst watching something.

Gus is cheesy in the way of envisioning his future with you.

He knows that one day, he wants to marry you.

As for starting a family, he’d like that - if you want to have kids too, ofc.

Otherwise he’ll just be happy to marry you and always have you by his side.

To summarize: Gus is very overprotective when it comes to you, but his criminal lifestyle aside - he loves you deeply and a relationship with him would be passionate.

NSFW

I feel like he’s definitely a dom

But more of a soft dom.

He’s on top, always. Convincing him otherwise is not easy.

He can get pretty rough, but would never hurt you or make you uncomfortable.

His sex drive isn’t that high, but he makes an exception for you.

Besides, you just happen to turn him on a lot 🤭

He prefers to do it at home and in bed

However… If you happen to tease him when in public, he’ll find a private spot and just take you there. “You couldn’t wait until we got home? Pathetic” …As he thrusts into you and muffles your moans with his palm

He prefers to take you at a fast pace, one that’ll leave you breathless.

He has a lot of pent up frustrations and releases all tension in the bedroom. 

He’ll have you laying under him, pinning your wrist over your head as he makes you into a moaning mess.

He has a lot of stamina and can go at it for hours.

If he’s feeling rude, he’ll have you beg for him and/or plead for him to slow down to give you a break.

Only for him to laugh and tease you for it “My poor baby… Look at me.” “I’m not done with you just yet.” “Be good for me, my love.”

When it comes to you, he likes both praising and degrading you - doing so equally.

He’ll have sweet nicknames for you as well as insulting ones.

After sex, you’ll be covered in hickeys, which he’ll praise you for.

He prefers giving oral, merely because he’s in full control of your pleasure. 

When going down on you, he’s a tease.

He’ll have you begging for him to use his mouth on you.

And he knows how to do it, too.

Gus likes using his hands too, to stimulate your area or other body parts.

He’ll grab your hips, thighs etc roughly, hard enough to leave marks.

When receiving, he likes being in control too.

He’ll hold your head still and move his hips to his own liking.

Gus prioritizes aftercare. He wouldn’t go to sleep without being reassured you’re ok after a rough session.

He’ll clean you and the bed up, run a bath for you, cuddle, give massage etc

Although he can be meanie during sex, he gives affection, praise and love afterwards, putting the dominant act away. 

He falls asleep after you. 

Since he’s rough in bed, you often end up falling asleep faster than usual - especially when he hugs you lovingly too. 

He likes seeing your sleeping figure and falling asleep knowing that you’re all his… 

[etherealspacejelly]

i am once again feeling emotional over the fact that i get to be the trans adult role model i wish i could have had when i was a questioning teenager for a whole new generation of trans kids

hi, im a 21 year old genderqueer demiboy. let me tell you some of my wisdom

you dont need to have dysphoria to be trans. if being a different gender would make you happier and improve your quality of life then do it

you dont have to want top or bottom surgery to be trans. you dont have to want hrt to be trans. if all you want to do is change your name and/or pronouns, thats perfectly ok. if you dont even want to do that, thats ok too

not everyone gets their name or pronouns right first try. theres no shame in changing them multiple times

gender =/= pronouns. you can be nonbinary and use he/him. you can be a cis guy and use they/them. you can be a girl and use ze/hir. its all made up anyway do what makes you feel good

multigender people exist. you can be a boy And a girl. you can be a girl And nonbinary. there are literally infinite options

the only persons gender you should care about is your own. everyone elses is none of your business. if you see someone being trans the 'wrong' way, no you fucking didnt. shut up. what are you, a cop? no one wants to be a cop.

if you fuck around with your gender and realise you're cis after all, you're not a faker or a trender or whatever. you were just figuring yourself out. thats allowed. detransitioners are valid. but! that doesnt give you an excuse to shit on trans people!!! just because You realised you werent trans after all doesnt mean no one is. your experience is not universal

dont engage with terfs/transphobes. dont send them asks or reply to them. just block and move on. trolling them only gives them more ammo to hate us. it doesnt actually help. if someone sends you a transphobic ask, dont answer it. just block them. its better for your mental health in the long run

i love you, and im proud of you.

[system-of-a-feather]

is there anything you wish youd known about DID-specific therapy before you started? sorry if thats weird or vague, i just finally have a therapist that treats DID and im both nervous and relieved about it, so i guess im just wondering if you have advice as someone who has made so much progress with your own DID

God yeah there is a lot honestly. Like there are a lot of general rules of thumb that I've seen get mentioned here that I can say are usually really good things I found to be mostly true in my experience like

Persecutors are frequently demonized and they can be INCREDIBLY hard to work with, but they are incredibly important, often are parts that are capable of having the most growth and tend to add the most to the system once you figure out a good way to communicate and work with them; that said, don't push anything you aren't capable of handling, if they are being too much, safety first; just remember that they're probably some of the best allies you can have should you make things work with them; there is little stronger bonds - both between parts and as a whole - formed when you can befriend and trust someone / the part of you that you've always hated / avoided. Loving persecutors is self love and self love is important for healing

While keeping track of your parts can be helpful, try not to obsess and fixate on trying to find all the parts and figure out when and where everyone came from. It can become overwhelming (especially if you have a lot of parts), you might find parts and things you aren't ready to deal with if you try to look too hard, and it can take away from the important processing, bonding, communication, and present issues you might be facing as a whole

Its okay to relapse on maladaptive behaviors, especially if it keeps you safe and/or from relapsing or starting potentially more risky / dangerous / harmful maladaptive behaviors. Two steps forward, one step back, it's still progress so try not to be hard on yourself. Struggling and fumbling is part of recovery, you aren't bad, or wrong, or uniquely "broken" or anything for struggling through recovery. Recovery is just fucking hard and engaging with it at all is a really amazing and powerful thing.

Integration =/= Fusion. Integration is just improving and increasing the communication, connectivity, and fluidity of information and coordination of parts. Integration is inherent in any form of DID treatment.

On top of that, I think some of the ones I don't see talked about as much would be...

Splitting, while often assumed to be a negative thing and a result of trauma (true and sometimes!), can be very healing when you look at it from a larger lens. This isn't to say that you should want to split or seek to make new alters as a coping mechanism, because I'd probably say in most situations that is probably not healthy. This is more so saying that if your brain wants to / needs to / does split, its okay to just let it happen. Trying to actively prevent splits can cause a lot of emotional / trauma overwhelm and risk crisis states and honestly, sometimes its easier to deal with two (or more) contained and stable parts than it is to deal with one complex and unstable part. Likewise, sometimes it is easier to be two (or more) contained stable parts than it is to exist as one complex and unstable part. Splitting sometimes - and often is - a mechanism to maintain stability and keep life for all parts within a relative "window of tolerance" that you can function in. Splitting isn't a moral failure or a recovery failure or anything special. Splitting is just part of the journey of recovery and a lot of people split after they start recovery cause it can be a pretty hard thing to go through. You aren't alone if this happens and it is just part of the process and journey.

Similar to that and something that we've been talking on this blog a lot and trying to spread...

Fusion does not have to be a final thing. Fusion does not have to be a huge and notable event. Fusion can last anywhere from a few minutes, to a few hours, to a few months, to forever depending on what works for you. If a fusion isn't working for you or isn't sticking, your brain will likely re-split and if it doesn't, you can always actively try to undo it and we've done it multiple times pretty successfully. Fusion ALSO isn't anything special, it's something that just happens. Fusion and splitting are two sides of the same coin and really aren't anything as permanent or anything that carries any inherent value to it beyond what it means to you as an individual / whole.

And probably one of the things that I was the most astonished by

You don't actually have to process all your trauma to be at a place with your DID where you are considered to be "in remission" or to even reach functional multiplicity / final fusion. A lot of the meat of DID-focused therapy and recovery and improvement to life is not as much in the trauma processing as much as it is in the stabilization period; that is just to say, the main meat of growth, recovery, and improvement is found by working with your parts to establish an internal support system, internal trust with one another, and deeply getting to know each of the parts. Of course, trauma processing will happen along the way, but you can get EXTREMELY far with recovery simplly by focusing on the stability of the system, how you each support and communicate and coordinate with one another, and dealing with the trauma topics that come up in the immediate present. A good way to think about it is that the stabilization period is essentially creating a strong foundation and a strong base so that you feel secure and confident navigating basic day to day life with a lot of internal love and support and the trust that you and your parts can support eachother through a SHIT ton of stuff. If you can develop an internal relationship with your parts and your system that is very strong and built on trust and care, then dealing with trauma and adversities become WAY easier. Thus it can be a lot easier to postpone any heavy trauma processing that is not actively relevant and actively necessary to help improve internal relationships until AFTER you have a stronger and more secure realtionship with your parts. Thus I would suggest focusing on the present issues, the things parts are feeling and experiencing in the moment, and addressing those rather than trying to uncover every secret and trauma that you may or may not remember. If the trauma is something you are ready to deal with and it's relevant, your brain will bring it up when the time is right. Trust your brain thats protected you thus far and kept you alive thus far to let you know things when you are ready to know it, but also don't be afraid to ask parts for help if it does share more than you are ready. That's just to say - Don't Dig for information you don't want to know, but if something comes up that you don't feel equipt to deal with, its completely okay to seek internal or external help to try leave it behind. Again, especially early on, the focus should be on stabilization rather than trauma processing.

And just a little small one about online spaces and what not, but try not to worry too much abotu whether your experiences with the disorder align with others, or if you look "fake" or what not. A lot of recovery will look like things people who don't know better would think is "impossible with DID" and online spaces tend to be a place where a false image of what things "should" look like is kind of developed. Whatever you experience is what you experience and is inherently a real and true experience. Don't try to force yourself to fit into the expectation and boxes of others as it will often slow down your progress.

[aannonn]

I FINALLY FINISHED ITT LETS GOOO

(to anyone who wanna read it on ao3 instead! ><)

not-actually-so-funfact; my computer started to burn in the middle of the translation :D (im brazilian so i write my fics in brazilian before translating them to english- xd)

anyways!! hope u enjoy the read just as much as I did while writing it! <3

- , "Ruined. All Ruined."

(updated/fixed) Tags ;

Rating : Teen and Up Audiences Warning : Graphic Depictions of Violence Tags#1 : rated t mainly because of the swears // violent thoughts // threats of violence // whump // self hatred // self depreciation // self esteem // self esteem issues // angst // angst and feels // heavy angst // hurt no comfort // emotional hurt // crying // selective mutism // talking in musical notes Tags#2 : hurt/comfort // comfort // emotional hurt/comfort // emotional // inner dialogue // minecraft mechanics // neurodivergent // {not exactly the focus but y'k- its there} // author is projecting

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Ruined.

All ruined.

   Green sat on his bed, the tie tied carefully around his neck crumpling from the tightness of his knees being hugged close to his chest. A crumpled tie was certainly not something he would take lightly, and he would quickly fix his posture so he could tidy it up and leave it the way it was before, perfect as it should be. But- honestly? Green felt no motivation to do so right now.

   He doesn't understand what he did wrong. Did he prepare too much? Did he create a lot of expectations? Did he let his anger and arrogance get the best of him again?

   Everything seemed perfect, everything was perfect, but then that silverfish suddenly emerged and, in the blink of an eye, everything around him seemed to be shattering; All the months of planning and preparation and so, so many songs he wrote and scratched because none of them felt perfect enough felt like they had been stepped on, crushed and thrown into lava, slowly burning right before his eyes.

   Is not fair. None of this was fair. He worked so hard to get to this moment, to improve his musical skills and impress an entire audience with his music, his passion. His friends, friendly acquaintances - everyone he knew was there - even Orange was there! They were all there for the concert, for the performance, for him.

   He felt like he was on cloud nine, happily boasting about the praise and applause floating around him like birthday confetti, roses being thrown at him as a sign of love and admiration - His friends and family were congratulating him and looking at him with so much admiration and love and affection for his amazing and so well-planned, so well-done, so perfect performance.

   He felt so adored, like the celebrities he saw on YouTube, being praised and complimented and talked about by many, many people, with so much admiration and adoration in their voices when talking about them. He felt so envied, as if several people adored him so much that they wanted to have his talents, they wanted to be him. He felt so loved, friends and family being so proud of him that he felt himself laughing happily, smiling so big that his cheeks hurt.

   ...Then a silverfish rised onto the stage, stepped on his noteblock, and the adoring, gazing eyes of the crowd - of his friends - were on the mob, and suddenly it seemed like it wasn't his concert anymore, but rather a random silverfish who just invaded the stage and stole his place, his audience, his moment.

   Green clenched his fists, bringing his knees even closer and crumpling his tie even more; Is not fair. None of this is fucking fair. He worked so hard for this, he worked so long for this, and now it's all ruined. Everything is ruined.

   The audience applauded and the show was a success, but the silverfish was the one in the spotlight; It was what was being boasted about, congratulated, adored, happily applauded for its' incredible performances.

   Meanwhile, Green was collapsing in pain in the middle of the stage and suffering from a horrible concussion.

   He felt humiliated, awfully humiliated. Shame, disappointment, and anger flooded his entire being, and the moment he woke up in his room, in his bed, with an ice pack on his head and a potions kit right on his desk, the only thing he did was have a staring contest with the ceiling with hazy eyes, his mind was a complete fog as he felt himself swinging his leg from side to side, jiggling it repeatedly distractedly.

   They cheered, the audience cheered, his friends cheered, but none of the cheers and joyful whistles were directed at him, as if the show had never even belonged to him in the first place.

   Green clenched his fists so tightly that he felt the faintest hint of blood coming from his palms, tears stinging his eyes distressingly, falling and spilling and wetting the mattress like rainfalls.

   Small bubbles appeared in his throat and made him let out soft sobs while small melodic notes came out of his mouth, making unbearably unpleasant and hostile noises, seeming as if a million instruments were being played at the same time, forming a loud and unpleasant noise for the ears. Fortunately the canorous notes that came out were small and therefore you wouldn't be able to hear them properly if you weren't close enough to his face.

   He felt so pathetic, so ridiculous. It wasn't even that bad; Everyone in the audience loved and genuinely enjoyed the show, his friends even formed a band and Orange finally played the electric guitar he had after years of not even touching it! So why was he so sad? Why did he feel like his entire world had just collapsed? Why did he feel so angry at the silverfish that only wanted to play with him?

   Because he was so selfish. So selfish and arrogant the little musician.

   He wanted to pull his head off, his stupid head with a stupid brain that only knew how to think about itself - He wanted to find that stupid silverfish and sink the tip of the diamond sword at its' stomach, jab it and stab it and all over again until all that was left of the mindless mob were little white clouds signaling its permanent death.

   He wanted to punch himself, spank himself - He wanted to be vengeful, he wanted to scream - He was so angry at himself, so angry at the silverfish, so angry at his brain, so angry at his feelings, so angry at his friends who didn't even try to help him get the silverfish off the stage and bring everyone's attention back to him, so angry at the world that was never merciful to him, hurting him again and again and again and again and again and again like a fucking punching bag.

   He wanted to isolate himself from everything and everyone to show the world how fucking angry and tired he is right now. He wanted his friends to invade his room to shower him with love and affection, hugs and apologies and promises that they would take better care of him, that they would never try to hurt him again, that they would never let the world hurt him again.

   He wants the world to burn, he wants the world to hold him like a baby.

   He's so selfish. Selfish and arrogant little adorable musician.

   His mind was a fog full of thoughts as his emotions took control, his body swayed slightly from side to side like a mantra, all of this making his brain unable to register the sound of footsteps approaching his position on the bed or even extra weight being added to the green mattress.

   Green jumped when he felt a hand holding his arm gently, rocking his body serenely and distracting his mind from thoughts for a few brief moments. He still didn't take his face off his knees, but he didn't take the hand off his arm either.

   Faint sobs and small musical notes echoed through the spacious house, the fog of dark thoughts in his mind gradually fading until all that was left were just faint sobs and dry tears gracing his face, a few tears still running down his chin towards the bed, small drops of water, some already old, wetting the mattress.

   He didn't register and didn't want to register how long it had been since he and the familiar but currently unknown stickfigure had been sitting on the bed. The stickfigure just rocked him calmly and slowly, distracting him from his thoughts that only got darker and darker, while also giving him time to calm down at his own pace, which Green deeply appreciates.

   Eventually, his breathing seemed to have finally eased and he opened his eyes, raising his head slowly and groggily, somewhat destabilized after the horrible mental breakdown he had just had.

   Yellow's composed and slightly worried face greeted him, the gentle movement of his head cooled off the nervous spasms he felt in his body after his brain had correctly registered the pathetic and disappointing scene he had just made, right in front of one of the last people he wanted for to see him in this state.

   Yellow remained quiet, his hand still on Green's arm as he continued to rock him gently, his movements filled with nothing but pure affection and concern for him. For Green.

   Green raised his head groggily, feeling light bubbles rising in his throat again and a new spiral of crying emerging before he pushed it back by force, several carefully chosen words in his head ready to start a conversation and break the suffocating silence, even though none of them had any actual desire to actually produce real sounds.

   He coughed, a hoarse, noisy wet cough, taking a deep breath - with some difficulty - before merely forcing a sound out of his throat, words in his mind all jumbled together - he just wanted to break the silence, a silence so quiet and still and suffocating.

   - W.. what." His voice was hoarse from crying and small musical notes were muddled with the words, making the words that came out of his mouth a confusing cacophony of sounds and verbs without a correct direction.

   Yellow patted his free hand on his knee nervously, whispering softly; - I just wanted to check up on you."

   Green no longer felt any motivation to actually form words and say them out loud, so he just shook his head sharply and pushed Yellow's hand away from his arm, a small musical note faintly leaving his mouth; a twisted, angry, broken sound.

   Go away.

   Yellow quickly understood the message the older one wanted to convey and tapped his hand on his knee nervously again, a slight, almost imperceptible movement of his shoulders lowering in defeat before he stood up and walked to the door, his steps light, but steady, echoing in the now empty space; where a single green stickfigure sat on his own bed of the same color, hugging and consoling himself from the world that only knew how to hurt. The only sounds that could be heard were his own whimpers and small melodic notes that the form curled up like a ball of the arrogant little musician emanated.

   It's so quiet. The world seemed so much lonelier and more dangerous when it was quiet.

   It's just him, and the world that hates him.

.

.

.

.

   At some point in his breakdown; round two(2), Green fell asleep; spilled tears still dripping onto the mattress while light, dry remnants clung to his cheeks. Honestly, Green isn't sure if he actually fell asleep, all he remembers is that his perception of his surroundings was momentarily desensitized and he found himself lying in his bed, a pair of hands on his shoulder shaking him with enthusiasm to side to side, presumably being the reason why his brain seemed to have regained awareness of his surroundings when he felt a sudden and unexpected physical contact stirring him impatiently.

   Red's excited and unbearably happy face was what greeted him this time, determination and enthusiasm adorning his movements as he continued to shake him the way he normally would when he had done something cool and desperately wanted to show to someone.

   Noticing the slight movement of Green's head moving towards him, Red let go of the shorter stick's right shoulder and jumped back, his arms bobbing up and down happily before grabbing Green's hands and pulling him in a way so that he was now sitting on the bed, relinquishing him and quickly rushing to the door, giving him one last look (still jumping up and down and waving his arms happily) before jumping out of the house, his steps happy and hurried resonating even outside the household.

   Green just stared at the door now open to him, not moving a single inch to follow Red to wherever the latter wanted to show him, an internal debate in his head with the decisions he could make.

   Getting out of bed, let alone walking to the door, seemed like a challenge. His body had little to no motivation to exercise and his head was still a fog that momentarily distracted him from his surroundings. He really didn't want to get up.

   But there would be no more silence if he did. The world would no longer seem so dangerous and immense for him if he went outside.

. . .

   Green sighed, staring at the floor for several long moments before merely forcing his body to stand, stumbling a bit in disorientation after sitting for so long, before practically dragging himself to the door, his slow, sloppy steps echoing through the silent residence.

   The entire time he walked towards the open door, Green stared at the ground, absentmindedly counting the pixel particles of the blocks he passed in his mind.

   He really had no desire to do anything... But the silence he was in was too suffocating and oppressive for him to bear.

   As he walked, Green quickly noticed that the light gradually dimmed with each new block, getting darker and darker until he couldn't even see the color of the staircase.

   Green took his eyes off the floor and raised his head, noticing how the computer's lighting seemed to have suddenly faded, enveloping both him and the programs and the PC's characteristic background in immense darkness - Much like when he himself removed the brightness of the computer to blast his latest music at that time.

   Green straightened up, feeling goosebumps all over his body as he took his cell phone out of his pocket and turned on the flashlight, quickly taking out his diamond sword from his inventory and holding it tightly, keeping his guard up for any possible mobs or whatever it was that could suddenly jump on him.

   He slowly descended the steps, his steps light and careful as he illuminated the darkness around him and kept his ears open for any sign of movement or noise.

   He wonders where his friends are...

   Suddenly, red and orange and yellow and green and blue lights illuminated the computer and momentarily blinded him, causing him to stagger back in fright and throw his sword and cell phone into the air before quickly grabbing the sword in alarm, pointing the sharp tip towards the light source as he vaguely registered the sound of his cell phone falling to the ground with the flashlight still on.

   A stage - his stage - his concert stage - greeted him back, colorful lights enthusiastically illuminating the center of the stage, where stood his dearest friends that he had known for as long as he could remember.

   Friends who also just watched as his concert was ruined by a fucking silverfish.

   Green shook his head sharply to dispel that thought, slowly lowering his sword as he quickly settled down, no longer feeling the impending danger scratching the back of his neck, though that also didn't mean his irritation had disappeared.

   He simply stared at the four(4) stickfigures on the stage, irritation was obvious in his movements as he gave them the silent treatment.

   Blue clasped his hands together nervously, Red dragged his feet on the floor without looking at him while Orange shifted uncomfortably; The only one who seemed more balanced and stressless of all was Yellow, although Green could detect a slight touch of nervousness in the movement of his shoulders.

   None of them said or made any movement as an indication that they were going to break the silence, Green just stared at them demanding an explanation while the others just moved and looked at each other nervously.

   Blue turned to Red, grabbing his shoulder before pushing him forward. Red stumbled before immediately shaking his head roughly and pushing Blue forward, to which Blue grabbing Orange's hand and pulling the shortest one in front of him, pushing him nervously to be in Green's gaze. Orange looked back and forth between Blue, Red and then Green, staring at the ground while rubbing his arms nervously, before finally taking a single step forward before Yellow suddenly stopped him by grabbing his shoulder and pointing at himself, to which the youngest nodded in thanks and quickly went to Red's side.

   Yellow took a deep breath, only taking three steps forward before finally breaking the silence, his voice a soft whisper with varying degrees of guilt and apologetic tone emanating from it.

   - We're sorry."

   Green bounced in surprise, confusion adorning his movements.

   At the sound of Yellow's voice, the other three(3) seemed to find courage and quickly echoed their own apologies with equal degrees of guilt and apologetic tones, a cacophony of voices over one another as they made several sudden and clumsy movements.

   - We had fun but you didn't have fun and that wasn't- It wasn't what- It was not cool. Nothing cool."

   - We're really, really sorry- The show was horrible- It was horrible to you- It was scary, wasn't it? It was terrifying... We laughed but- And- We didn't even think how hurt would you be..."

   - We didn't try to help you when you needed it most, and we completely understand if you- How angry you might- How angry you are and we won't force you to forgive us or anything-"

   Sincere. Genuine. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Don't forgive us. You don't need to forgive us. We are really sorry. We will take better care of you.

   Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry-

   - So we thought about- Ah. To repair. Give you the concert you truly deserve."

The firm tone emanating from Yellow's voice quickly interrupted the fog that was beginning to form in Green's head, turning his head towards him to realize that the taller one had raised his hand and stopped everyone from continuing with the cacophony of voices. Of I'm sorrys. Of apologies-

   Oh wait.

   Oh. Oh.

   The stage was for him?

   - I know nothing will fix the damage that silverfish caused- The damage we didn't even try to cease- But." Yellow paused, clasping his hands and fidgeting nervously in his seat before taking a deep breath and continuing; - That's- The concert really mattered to you, so. We wanted to- Give you a chance to- A second chance to. Show to the world-

   - The world being us."

   Yellow elbowed Red. - Your performance. And just your performance only. No silverfish to take your place."

   The stage was practically the same as the show, although it was significantly reduced to fit the computer and not cover the entire space to the point of being almost claustrophobic.

   The instruments from before - from the villagers who agreed to help him with the concert - were not there, just the blocks and noteblocks that had been used previously in the concert. On his concert.

   It was his show. It is his show.

   The stage is his. The performance is his. The audience is his.

   Green just stared at the stage, then at the instruments, then at his friends.

   Millions of emotions flowed like musical notes, the fog in his head forming like fluffy, adorable clouds, and suddenly he felt an immense urge to jump and bounce and play and scream and stim and-

   A single musical note, so small and confused and twisted and broken - yet joyful and hopeful and excited and free - floated from his mouth, the harp-like sound echoing so low that Green is sure none of them would have heard it if the room was not in a complete silent.

   For me?

   Yellow tilted his head gently, Blue touched his hands like he always does when he's excited, while Orange nodded and Red happily waved his arms up and down, encouragingly signaling the older one to come on stage.

   For you.

   Green timidly walked to the stage, Blue and Red quickly helped him by grabbing his hands and pulling him up, Orange walked towards him and gently pushed him to the center where the noteblocks were carefully placed in a way that formed a piano, patting his back in encouragement before going to join Red and Blue on the chairs in front of the stage, sitting right next to Red who was resting his parrots on his shoulders.

   Yellow had the staff in hand, placing his hands on his hips in a sign of lighthearted annoyance, confusing Green momentarily before realizing that the taller stick was looking at the crumpled tie with small traces of dried tears.

Oh.

   Green looked down at his shabby tie, dismay filling him at how careless he had been with his beautiful tie, before perking up when yellow hands suddenly grabbed his tie by the ends and stretched it, trying to straighten it back to the way it was before. Finishing, Yellow walked away and placed his hands on his hips as a sign of pride, while Green just stared at his tie, now even more messy and shabby than before.

   Such a mistake like that would freak him out, reprimand the causer and quickly fix the damage done.

   Now, somehow, he found no reason to care.

   It was perfect. It is perfect.

   Green took the staff extended to him with such delicacy and care, as if the staff would break with a single sloppy touch, holding it close to his chest like a plush.

   Yellow patted his head, touching his forehead to Green's in a tender and gentle manner, before retreating and getting off the stage, sitting right next to Blue and putting all his attention on Green, on the show. On Green. On the performance. On Green.

   All eyes and heads were on him, all attention was on him and him alone.

  Playing his slightly altered melody as he now played solo, he felt on cloud nine. Gloatingly boasting of the enthusiastic applause and whistles of his beloved audience, who adored every performance he performed no matter how imperfect they seemed to him. Of his friends, who would always be there welcoming him with open arms and would help him in any way they could. Of his family, who adore him and love him so, so much.

   It was perfect. It is perfect.

   He is adored. He is accepted. He is loved.

   He always was. And he always will be.

.

.

.

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[fernacular]

Could you tell us more about your version of batman? Maybe the batfam too? Boop!

I can try! To be honest I don't have a ton to say, im not the most knowledgeable when it comes to the Lore(tm) and I'm mostly making stuff up with each drawing I do, whatever makes the initial concept or joke work.

So what I have is this:

He's not physically powerful but he has a lot of speed, flexibility and endurance and mostly focuses on avoiding fights and being a good detective, and when a fight is unavoidable he leans a lot on technology and being a pragmatic fighter so he can take people down quick with minimal risk. I don't know much about martial arts but his fighting style is probably similar to Akido?

The Joker is less of a huge villain, I have nothing against the character I just feel like he gets leaned on too much in batman stories, like an overexposure thing. He was a gangster with a gimmick who become a problem every once in a while but he was never Batman's arch nemesis. (That would be two-face, they got the most personal history). After the Jason Todd of it all Bruce stuck him down a stinky hole and no one liked him enough to help him get out.

There's not actually a huge age gap between Bruce and Dick, only about ten years, and the father/son relationship is getting slightly more awkward as time goes on. Like it's one thing for a 22 year old telling a twelve year old what to do, pretty different when it's a 35 year old trying to lecture a 25 year old. Dick respects Bruce immensely but he's getting frustrated with Bruce not seeing them as peers yet, and it's part of why Dick has physically distanced himself. (Some familial relationships improve so much when you live in different cities)

He's in an on-and-off again relationship with Selina, who has her own apartment but splits her time between it and the Wayne manor when they're on, and sometimes even off (Alfred usually let's her in regardless, when she feels like using the front door). They're just two very independent people who do love each other but every so often need their space and don't know how to communicate that constructively.

What else what else... Babs is Oracle but her spine was injured in a different way, probably while kicking ass and saving lives.

Bruce is better friends with Diana than he is Clark because Clark has a little bit of a country chip on his shoulder when it comes to wealthy property owners and Bruce isn't jazzed about the press. Its getting better with time though!

Bruce is very good at masking (I mean, clearly, he has to fool everyone with Brucie after all) but his relaxed affect is very blunt and not outwardly emotional. This does not mean he's always brooding or overly serious, he just has resting bitch face and his sense of humor is very dry. His family can read him pretty well but most other people just assume he's perpetually pissed.

Uuuuh thats all I can think of off the top of my head, hope you like it!

Also boop

[mochiiniko]

i dont have the time to make a whole special drawing for rhythm doctors 3 year anniversary, so i decided to redraw the first thing i posted in the rd server (around late 2022 i think??) because honestly rd was one of the things that got me to improve so much 💀

original drawings + me being emotional about rd under the cut because while ive only been into the game for a year it means EVERYTHIGN TO ME GRAHHH (lots and lots of rambles youve been warned)

originally i was gonna make these redraws when act 5 came out because of this?? like i just find it really funny how things came full circle

that time i was dealing with school and the stress from assessments were just. pretty bad LMAO. i had some steam credits from commissions and one of the core rd memories™️ i have was just going "oh rhythm doctor, i remember seeing a video about it i should check it out an-" BRAINROT BLAST PAST ME DID NOT KNOW

fast forward to 2023, october-november was just as rough as the previous year and i know its kinda stupid to say, but rd genuinely helped me get through it. act 5 especially since it was something nice to look forward to despite all the awfulness that happened that time. then playing act 5 made getting through that awfulness genuinely worth it

i had to play act 5 outside because i was on a trip, but i just vividly remember looking out the car window and feeling the happiest ive been during that time. and i didnt even play it yet!! just knowing that its finally out and knowing it was gonna be good was already enough

november 4 being the same time i got into the game, plus the fact that act 5 literally felt like playing through the game for the first time, made things much more emotional. act 2 was what made the game click for me (i dont have to explain why its already so obvious from my art posts 💀), and experiencing 5-X was like 2-X all over in the best way possible (i vaguely remember my own classic 2-X reaction with the window dancing, so again the whole "things coming full circle" with the window resizing lol)

im also thankful about it basically reviving the community?? i wouldnt really say it was dead pre act 5, but there wasnt too much going on especially on tumblr

theres probably stuff that im forgetting but its pretty late and i need to sleep so yea, happy 3rd early access anniversary to the silly spacebar game :>

[zankaboo]

(this post is going to be kinda chaotic because I have many thoughts to share but I'm struggling with being coherent right now)

I'm 28 and I still live with my parents. But I think I need to seriously start considering moving out, or something.

Living with my parents never bothered me much. Part of me was happy about it because like, why should I move out and take care of myself if I can live with someone else and not worry about anything?

But recently I've been trying to work on my issues and I feel like I'm never going to fully heal unless I escape my mother. She is abusive. She's been messing with my mind for so many years that I don't really feel like my own person. I'm almost 30 and I don't know who I am, I don't know how to be an adult. I don't even know what kind of clothes I like to wear. My mom doesn't care much about my emotional well being, she criticizes everything I do. She cares about me in general, I know that and I know that she loves me in her own way but the way she treats me is destroying me. Now that I've started to really think about where all my problems came from, the only source I can think of is my mom. She made me hate myself. I self harmed because of her. I shed so many tears because of her. Nothing else fucked me up as much as my mom. She hates herself too and she projects all of her issues on me. And because of her I believed that I'm ugly and worthless as a person. My dad kinda sucks too, not as much, but he hurt me deeply a few times.

I love my parents tho. Even after all the shit they did to me I love them. My mom can be a very funny person if she wants to be. My dad too. But they hurt me so much. And I want to be away from them.

I've been trying to love myself, my looks, my personality. I stopped all the self depriciating jokes, I stopped calling myself ugly or saying "I hate myself" or "I'm going to kill myself". It's only been like two months but I can already feel the difference. Sometimes I look at my body in the mirror and I see something desirable now. And it's an awesome feelings. I'm really starting to see that change is possible. A better life is possible. And I really want it. For the first time in my life I really want to change things.

But I just don't know what to do. My mother controlled everything in my life, she made most decisions for me. So despite some improvements in my mental health, it all feels so out of reach right now.

I'm very lonely. Despite living with two people, I'm lonely. I get to hang out with my coworkers often and they're all cool people but those aren't really meaningful relationships. I don't have people that I can hang out with after work, or chat with, or call. But I spent so many years in isolation, I don't even know how to make friends. I think I have ADHD too which also might make those things harder for me (I heard that people with ADHD struggle with making friends and stuff). I lost every single school friend, even those that I considered to be close friends. I don't know if it's all my fault or if other people were at fault too. But for some reason almost no one wants to try to maitain a friendship with me and it's so upsetting.

I'm afraid of even looking for friends. I'm afraid of letting anyone know that I can't take care of myself, that I don't know the basics of adulthood. It is very embarrassing. I can't let people know that I'm like this, so helpless and clueless. Getting a boyfriend is completely out of the question at this point. I mean who the fuck would even want to love me romantically now? No one wants an adult baby. And this stings so fucking bad now because I've become infatuated with such a nice and funny guy and I haven't been able to think about anything else but him. If I could at least be friends with him, I would be so fucking happy.

I don't even feel alive to be honest. I'm just existing. I want to live, I want to meet new people, I want love and sex, I wanna go to concerts and find new hobbies. I want to make more art and improve my skills since it's my main hobby, I've always loved drawing. I want to try new mediums like painting or sculpting. I'd like to play some instrument too. But it feels out of reach now.

I really don't know what to do, where to start. I'm so lost.

I can't ask my parents for advice. I really wish I had someone who would teach me how to be a person, how to be an adult.

I don't want a life like this.

[hwnglx]

Hey im actually curious if you can rate it from 1-10 how much is possessive and jealous enhypen members?

so i already described the way they'd act when they're jealous here, but i'll rank them and give you some additional thoughts i've gathered recently.. since that post is a few months old 🖤

mtl possessive and jealous enhypen member

this is all just according to tarot and my observations.. pls take it lighty! ᰔᩚ

#1 jake 9.7/10 so.. i kept on debating between him and sunghoon. however, the reason i put jake as no 1, is because he's a lover who's likely to be more emotionally attached to his s/o. in addition to that, his mars is in nonconfrontational libra. this can make him much more passive-aggressive, he won't enjoy openly displaying his jealous nature and will struggle being direct about it. he's someone who will just hold long grudges (scorpios and their lifetime lasting grudges 🥹), find ways to pay you back by making you jealous too.. it's all a bit more dramatic and complicated for him. but it's neck on neck between him and hoon.

#2 sunghoon 9.6/10 the more i read on sunghoon, the more shocked i get about his intensity in love. he's a member who can get much more scary in relationships, since there is such a gap between him as a person and as a lover. he seems to be a big push and pull lover, someone who might give off the first impression of a pretty free-spirited and light-hearted guy.. but boom have him spot his s/o with some other male figure, the man's eyes will turn dark. his energy is pretty heavy whenever i do love readings for him, meanwhile in other readings it can be pretty comfortable.

#3 jay 9.3/10 jay is definitely incredibly possessive. he's someone who holds a lot of responsibility over keeping his loved ones safe and sound, he's very very protective and territorial. his ideal scenario is for you to never leave his side, so that there isn't even the possibility for you to get hurt or be treated badly. this deep desire to never let you go anywhere can definitely express itself in an overly possessive manner.

#4 jungwon 6/10 so, jungwon isn't really the easily jealous or overly possessive type, but he'll feel pretty let down if you manage to get him to that place. i've known a guy with very similar placements to him (aqua ☼ virgo ☾ aries ♀), and he's very easygoing and accepting in general.. however, in love he's immensely passionate. jungwon gives me that same vibe, he's someone who's quite picky and has high standards. so if you manage to date him, he'll expect you to be "all in" and just as dedicated to him as well.

#5 sunoo 5/10 sunoo is a gemini venus.. he isn't really someone who gets jealous a lot, since he usually doesn't take love or relationships seriously enough. but, i remember reading for him, and seeing that he can actually get pretty hurt about people betraying him. i think he kinda stands in his own way by seeming so blasé and unattached to people, when in reality there seems to be a deeply rooted desire to make more meaningful connections, and not just run away from them. i do believe he just needs to mature a little more in order to realize and embrace that.

#6 heeseung 4.5/10 so, heeseung is a very understanding and patient lover. he's someone who's willing, even eager, to put in the work needed to improve his relationships. even when obstacles arise, he isn't really the type to get discouraged or overly emotional about it right away. let's say he caught you texting some other guy.. rather than getting all jealous and vengeful, it's likely he'll just calmly ask you about it without jumping to any conclusions. however, one of his problems in love, can often be the high standards he has for himself. he can be prone to immediately look back on himself, in a more negative manner and blame himself for not having done enough to keep you happy enough. like every problem somehow goes back to him, in heeseung's eyes.

[anyalovesu]

tolerate it.

xiii. all is well if it ends well with you.

—"all is well if it ends well with you."

necessary notes:

contains 🔞 content if ur not into that or u r a minor, do noT READ

the 🔞 is pw authenticated but the password just somewhere around this series hehe ( i did this to save face bc im that is the first time i wrote straight up smut and i'm seriously slowly getting delirious if it's good or what ) ( skl: embarrassingly i had a friend who has the experience that clearly i don't, read it and give me feedback if shit i wrote actually happens (basically validating the shit that i wrote) and it's safe to say that was the most awkward phase of our friendship 🥲🤡 )

ur feedback will be appreciated ( you can send it here ) tell me what i can improve or which parts did u enjoy or whatever u want to tell me ( pls be nice ) and i will read it and respond if u ever send me ur thoughts hehe

this is the last chapter of this series but i might be writing more about this in the epilogue or in the side stories hehe if ur interested in that, i will link the bsides on the main post !!

most of all, thank you, to anyone who read this. for a good amount of time i was convinced that i would be the only one reading this over and over until im delusional that someone is reading this other than me but it turned out that someone is actually reading whatever this is that i write 🥲🥲 sooo thank u sm, i will always appreciate u guys 🤍

anyways...

“Cielo, oh my god, you need to stop crying, papagalitan na tayo ng coordinator! They’re looking for me na!” Bianca whined, handing Cielo another tissue as Cielo asked her to accompany her before they went to the venue. “It’s not like she’s not gonna be your sister anymore!”

“Hindi mo nga kasi naiintindihan!” Cielo whined, breath hitching as he kept on crying. 

“I’m gonna get kuya. I’m so sorry I don’t know how to comfort you anymore, Cielo!” Bianca was in a verge of tears as well, being all stressed out and needing to excuse herself from the situation because she didn’t want to ruin the hard work that the make-up artists did on her. 

That being said, as Bianca was running towards the men’s dressing room when she came across Leon, who was all ready to go. “Oh bakit ka andito? Hindi pa kayo nakakaalis nila Ynes?”

“Cielo is still crying, kuya! I don’t know what to do anymore!” Bianca was clearly in distress. Her and Cielo have been friends for a long time too, and getting overwhelmed when a friend needed her really made her feel gutted.

“Pumunta ka na sa sasakyan. I’ll handle this, okay?” Bianca nodded before making her way to the front of the resort where the vans were waiting for them, meeting the rest of the girls.

Leon headed to where Bianca seemingly came from to find Cielo in the courtyard garden of the exclusive resort that they rented in Batangas. He was sitting on one of the benches, sniffing with the pack of tissue that Bianca had left him before she went to get someone to help.

“Hi,” he smiled, sitting next to him. Cielo was surprised to see Leon next to him that he jumped a bit when he heard his sister's soon-to-be husband. “Still worried about your Ate Ellie, no?”

Cielo nodded in honesty. Leon would not help but notice how adorable he was, realizing how much he is like his sister. So emotional and sensitive. Even the way they talk is so similar he finds it uncanny sometimes. It really shows how involved Eli was in his life. She did raise him after all, more than their own parents did, which only made Eli even more beautiful in his eyes despite not being able to see her since yesterday. At such a young age, Elijah raised this emotionally intelligent and sensitive young boy, which turned out to be one of the warmest people he ever met in his life. 

“Please don’t take my ate away,” he sniffled, pulling yet another tissue from the pack to wipe his tears and blow his nose. “I don’t wanna be left alone.”

“Ellie is still going to be Ellie, Cielo,” Leon chuckled, putting a comforting arm around the younger. “Wala akong inaagaw. She’s still gonna be there for you the moment you ask her to. Kailan ba humindi ang ate mo sa’yo, ha?”

Even before Eli moved out for college, she was there for him. Natrouble that school? Eli would be there. Naiwan ang baon sa bahay? It’s alright, Eli will just buy him new food or give him money. Nakalimutan magsabi na kailangan ng illustration board or ng cartolina kinabukasan, don’t fret, Ate Eli would be there before the time period when you need it with anything you might need. Eli always showed love by being there and doing things for other people. Everyone pretty much knew that. So it’s a surprise that Cielo is worried that she’s not going to be there as much for him when she gets married when it’s always been him who’s always at the top of her priority list.

“When you have children, she’s not going love me as much,” he sobbed, body shaking as he finally says what his main worry was.

Leon sighed. “I doubt we’re gonna have children until you’re ready, Cielo.”

“Hindi naman kasi para sa akin ang desisyon na ‘yon, kuya,” he argued.

“Yes, it’s for us to make. But knowing your ate, she’s not gonna do it until kaya mo na ng wala s’ya.”

“I’m always going to need, Ate.”

“Maybe just until you need your Ate Ellie less,” he smiled at him. “We’re young, Cielo, and at the peaks of our careers. Trust me when I say na hindi pa kami rin ready rin na magkaroon ng anak. So if waiting for you will be our sign to actually be ready, then you’re doing us a favor.”

“Are you really going to wait for me?”

Leon nodded and before he knew it, Cielo’s arms were around him already. “Thank you, Kuya.”

—

“You may now say your vows,” the officiant then steps aside before Leon takes the mic and opens his card that is eloquently decorated, a design that Elijah remembers she drew herself during the week that they were asked not to go to work because of the incident.

“Ellie,” he starts with a heavy sigh, before shaking his hands to relieve himself of his nerves. “Don’t worry, hindi naman ako kinakabahan dahil hindi ako sure. Kinakabahan lang ako baka kasi magkamali ako and I don’t want to mess it up.”

The crowd laughed at his remark before he glanced at her parents before glancing back at her. “It’s been approximately 23 years since I’ve had the privilege of meeting you. You have been my best friend ever since I could remember having one. And I must say 13-year-old Leon would go full on cardiac arrest if he found out that this would happen. That 10 years later, I would be standing in front of our loved ones, reciting my vows to you. That being said, I promise to always scour the internet and everyone and their mom just so I would know how to cook whatever you are craving the way you want it to. I promise to wait, everytime, especially when you’re still afraid to tell the truth. I promise to sit with you until you’ve already recovered from your emotions. I promise to always drive back 2 hours, give or take, whenever you forget something at home. I can promise so many more things but I’m afraid, for once, to say it. Hindi dahil hindi ko kayang gawin. Natatakot ako na baka hindi ko masabi lahat. Dahil d’yan, I must repeat a promise that I have already made before just to remind you that if you want me to, I will, dahil ikaw ang palaging masusunod. Ellie, I promise to never let you work for anything ever again unless you really want to. I know you come from a long line of families who worked hard for what they have right now, but Ellie, I promise to never let you work to be loved ever again. I promise to never let you try at all to be someone that people would love, dahil hindi na’tin sila kabati kapag hindi ka nila gusto. I promise to never leave your side ever again or ever meet death face to face again unless you tell me that you are ready for it. And although I don’t have to promise it, I promise to love you, always, in your highs and lows, and occasionally in the in betweens. I promise to be there, or here, or anywhere you want us to be dahil sa totoo lang, masaya na ako na magkasama tayo. Iyo ako, Ellie, palagi.”

“Hala,” Ellie sniffed as Ynes ran in front with a box of tissues to hand Ellie. “OMG ka, thank you, babes.”

“How do I start this, wait lang naiiyak talaga ako.”

“I can wait, baby,” he chuckled, reaching for her hand and squeezing it before she let out a heavy breath, gathering herself. “Okay na?”

Eli nodded before finally letting his hand go and opening her card. “I still wonder up until now how we always end up in the same route, to that house by the beach in Batangas, and somehow things would be alright when we go back. If I had known that pattern I wouldn’t have spent four longing years without you, because those years burrowed the pain so deeply inside me that it felt normal. And you waltzing back in my life like it was fucking nothing made me so mad because it felt like you were uprooting that pain again that I so badly didn’t want to feel ever again. But now that it’s uprooted and thrown way past me, I realized why it had to be done. I was never going to heal if the one causing the pain was still in me and really, thank you, because even if you don’t try, even if you just sit there yapping about how annoying I am for always insisting to do things for you, for always working for things I can just ask for, for making myself think that I am less than how you see me, you heal me, Leon. Every bruise and wound, somehow feels so much better when you’re the one who makes it feel better.”

“When we were young, Myla told us that it was possible that love was born at the same time that humanity emerged and it never stopped existing from then. It was as if humans were made to love. I was too young to realize it back then, but now that I’m old enough to admit it, Leon, I have known love ever since the day we first met. I had a clear vision of what love was like with you. I remember this memory with you in a preppy preschool daycare and me being the push over little kid that I am did what every little kid there asked me to and while now that I’ve thought of this, nothing was wrong with conformity, you took my hand back then and told the kids to do it themselves. Then it was you stepping in front of me when I was being bullied in Elementary school, then it was you always picking me in group activities because people would just ask me to do it on my own when we were in High School. You’ve protected me from things that could hurt me because as you said, there’s already too much pain in me for some lazy lowlife to add more into it. You’ve always made space for me to grow. I used to think it was unfair why you chose to let me go during college but now that I’ve reframed it, I realized that I needed that growing space. And even though it hurt you too and you were a little bitch to not admit it right away, thank you so much for giving me that space to grow. So I promise to protect you too, in the most deranged ways that you could think of. I promise to send anyone who tries to hurt you bankrupt. I promise to hold you when you’re full of emotions too. I promise to kiss you good night and good morning or whenever you ask for it. I promise to actually play the games that you put on my computer. I promise na hindi na ako magiiwan ng gamit sa bahay para wala ka nang babalikan. I promise na hindi ko na tutulugan ang mga pinapanood mo. I promise to take care of you, even when you object. I promise to get better, everyday, for you and for the life we’ll live from now on. Because in the same way that humans were made to love, when love emerged at the same time as humanity, it must not be a coincidence that I knew love from the very first day I met you. I was made for loving you, Leon and all is well if it ends well with you. Kaya pinapangako ko, na magduda man, magtaka man, maligaw o mawala man, ang bawat daan ko, Leon, ay palaging pabalik sa’yo.”

continue here (bianca and eli's conversation)

Bianca engulfed her sister-in-law in a warm embrace as soon as she opened the door. Soon after that, sniffles followed as her hold only got tighter.

The two sat there and talked about everything. Even going as far as talking about her recent split up with Liz Sim that broke Elijah half as much as it broke Bianca. It turned out that after Eli sent their company in the States bankrupt, Liz blasted her about how cruel and evil her family was—especially Elijah. And as cold as Bianca’s demeanor may be, she did not know how to take all the words said to Ellie not after everything she learned about what Liz’s family did to her Ate Ellie.

“It’s gonna be alright, bunso,” Ellie smiled at her kissing the side of her head as she cried, make-up now half ruined from all the crying she’s done. “Right now, let’s just enjoy the night, alright? We’re gonna meet people out there that’s going to treat us so much better than they did.”

“Right, hindi na’tin sila kabati,” Bianca sniffed, reaching for her handbag to retouch her makeup. 

Ellie chuckles at her. It really can’t be denied that Bianca really was raised on Leon and Tobi’s back, because behind all that cold demeanor is a childish heart that is sensitive and will break at the mere sight of their loved ones getting hurt. Leon mentioned before that he was afraid that maybe Bianca was growing up to be hard and cold, unlike how he sees Cielo, who was the complete opposite. Right now, Ellie really can’t understand why he thinks that way, because all three of them are just softies hiding behind cold facial expressions. 

“Let me help you with that,” Ellie smiled, picking up the makeup from the younger’s bag to help her do her retouches.

As soon as they were back, even with Leon still not being able to read Bianca’s messages earlier, he already knew Bianca had just finished crying. After all, he can feel his sister’s mood even from a mile away. It’s not hard to do for him anyway, especially when he had to study her facial expressions even as a baby just to know what she could possibly need even if they had nannies to do that for them.

“Girl talk, kuya,” Bianca told him right away before he could even ask. “Wag mo na muna tanungin kung anong pinagusapan namin, bukas mo na alamin.”

“Alright, well, can I have my wife back?” He chuckled at her. Bianca made a face and let go of Ellie’s hand, handing it over to her brother.

“All yours,” just then Alonzo Park arrives and asks for a dance with her youngest daughter leaving the newlyweds with each other.

“Hindi n’yo talaga sasabihin sa akin?” he asked, even trying to make puppy dog eyes to convince his wife to tell him, but Ellie already promised she would let Leon find out for himself so she really wasn’t going to say anything. So she shrugged her head.

“Did you have your things good to go na for Balesin?” Ellie asked them, starting to worry that they’d be late for everything as they’d be heading straight to their honeymoon destination straight after the party.

“Baby, Balesin is owned by Amina Myoi, what are you worrying about?” Leon laughed.

“Oh my god, Leon, don’t tell me hindi mo pa inaayos?”

Leon laughed at her wife even more before planting a soft kiss on her lips. “Naayos ko na po. Okay na, pinakaba lang kita.”

“I’m just saying na ayoko lang na makaabala tayo sa iba natin na kasama,” Ellie rolled her eyes at him. “Especially when your cousins offered pa to be the ones to bring us there! I don’t want them to think-”

“Anong sabi na’tin tungkol sa iisipin ng iba?” Leon cuts her off with a cheeky grin on his face, knowing all too well that it was discussed in front of everyone in their vows earlier.

“Yeah, whatever, it’s me you have to worry about. I don’t like being late, alam mo ‘yon,” Elijah replied to him.

—

“Baby,” Ellie calls out sternly as Leon plants yet another kiss on her neck while they were waiting in the private lounge of the airport waiting for their boarding time. “Keep your hands to yourself muna, please.”

While most of the people in the lounge were just their friends, they had some family members joining them too which meant that their little siblings could see Leon as bright as day, well, literally unable to keep his hands to himself. “Kahit ba quickie lang sa cr, baby?”

“I’m gonna have to keep you waiting, Leon. I’m sorry,” she chuckled at her husband, visibly in distress from how long he already has been holding himself back. He has already been planning how to ruin her the moment they left the wedding reception and it’s taking too much time waiting in this godforsaken lounge with so many people. 

For a good moment he regrets agreeing that they should come in the getaway destination after considering that they could literally have an entire villa to themselves and fuck the living daylights out of each other without being disrupted. His patience was running thin but he knew he had to be on his best behavior if he wanted to keep Ellie’s mood to its crisp condition right now if he wanted to get what he’s been fantasizing about for 4 hours already.

“Leon, calm the fuck down,” Ellie curses as soon as Leon pushes her down the white duvet, not seeming to give a flying fuck if they were on the bed with their outside clothes on. 

“I’m not sure if I can do that, baby,” he smirked as he hungrily pressed his lips against her, hands stealthily picking on the buttons of her light blue shirt.

“I’m all yours, love,” she chuckled, holding his face on both sides, forcing him to look at her. His eyes were dilated, blasted with both pure adoration at the woman lying under him, for the first time while they’re at their intimate activities. “Take your time, please?”

Leon then pauses, looks Ellie straight in the eye trying to see if there was hesitation lingering in her expression. There wasn’t, which was confusing to Leon, but he didn’t want to do anything that would make Eli uncomfortable. A blush creeped into her face when she realized that she might have to explain herself. 

“Are you okay, baby? P’wede naman bukas na kapag okay ka na?”

Oh god. Ellie just wanted the floor to open and swallow her whole when Leon blurted that out.

How the fuck is it possible to explain that she was fully aware how fucking big he was and she had been questioning every saint she knew of if she was capable to taking that big of a body part inside her? 

Elijah shrugged, eyes glossing in embarrassment as she tried to hide her face. 

“Baby, we can do it some other time, it’s okay-”

“No,” Eli retorts immediately, pushing herself up to a sitting position as she gathers up courage to actually say it.

“Are you sure? Saka nalang, baby–”

“Leon,” she calls, holding his face once again, forcing him to focus on her, leaning in to kiss him once again. “I want to do it, baby.” She mumbles quietly, as she turns to kiss his neck before nestling her face perfectly between the space connecting his neck and shoulder blades.

“What’s holding you back, Ellie?” he finally asks his wife, trying to pull her away from his neck but the younger remains unmoving. “Hmm?”

“I haven’t done it with anyone for quite some time,” she hummed. “And you’re malaki, Leon. I don’t want it to hurt.”

“You think it’s going to hurt?” he chuckles, finally managing to pull her away to kiss her once more making Ellie hummed against the kiss. It would be a lie to say that he didn’t take that as a compliment—the fact that she thinks he is big and the fact that she’s still willing to do it despite the impediment of it possibly hurting her.  “You want me to make it hurt less?”

“Please?” She looked at him, eyes round and glossy which really is just the most enticing thing Leon has ever seen her do.

“Okay,” Leon smiled at her fondly before carefully laying her down once again, kissing her slowly, lips moving in sync as his hands travel down to her jeans, fiddling on the silver button before finally pulling down the cold zipper.

continue here: honeymoon avenue (password authenticated; clue: color of ellie's engagement ring, 3 words, english, 15 letters, no spaces)

continue here (keeping up with the yangs chaos)

continue here (housemates' gc)

continue here (leon and eli's convo)

“Oh, bakit umiiyak ka nanaman?” Leon asked as soon as he entered the room after brushing his teeth in the bathroom. They had just come back from dinner and Elijah was, at most, tipsy from the Sangria that was served earlier.  “Bakit ka umiiyak?”

Ellie looks at him with a look that assures him that she’s not hurt. She’s just overwhelmed with emotions that feel too big for her own heart to process. Considering the amount of Sangria she had consumed with the girls earlier, her emotions were just flowing out of her. “Si iyakin talaga,” he chuckled before crawling on the bed, over the fresh bed sheets that were changed when they were in dinner.

“I’m just really happy,” she mumbled before climbing on Leon’s lap to hug him properly for comfort while Leon does what he does best, giving her deep compression by squeezing her. “I can’t believe everything turned out okay. I really hoped it was going to be okay.”

Everything was all so overwhelming but she knew she was safe. At last. All the pain, all the wandering around aimlessly in life—everything seemed to be falling back into place, here with the love of her life, holding her like nothing can take her away. 

And she really hoped it would be like that.

Because then, she knows that this was the agony was for and it was all worth it.

All that matters is that it ended up here where she is celebrated for her mere existence and for the love that she gives—it doesn’t even matter how much there is to share, the mere fact that there is love is already celebrated.

She’s finally where she truly belongs. Back to where all the turns and roundabouts lead her to. 

“I love you,” he hums, against her shoulder as he calms her down from her emotions.

Home.

“I love you, Leon.” she mumbled.

Back to Leon.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ characters ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ previous ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ main post ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[fluffyartbl0g]

Ohh my God the most recent comic, when it's spelled out like that, speed running paradise, fighting an admiral sun God thing happening way early than any of this should be it's any wonder ace isn't in worse shape in this let alone seeing sabo again because it's two years early and he would probably be fresh into white beard crew im picturing *jinbei the warlord I just finished fighting days on end to exhaustion is joining your crew?* "I give up, it's too much at once, there are to meany others to be more concerned about" their concern on white beards ship should be warning about black beard before the bastard gets the 1st stupid strong devil fruit.

YEYSYEYSYESYEYSYRFSEUDYGTYUHSDOGUHFDGUDFUH!!!!!! Like I drew Ace getting kinda choked up in the second page when listing things because,,, man he really was worried. I dont think he was like losing sleep type worried until he found out Luffy and his gang had a pretty intense encounter with an admiral.

It's only been like 1.5 to 2 years since Ace last left Dawn Island and sparred with Luffy, so even if he's improved a lot, there just cant be any way his 15 year old baby brother would be able to handle an Admiral- HECK he can barely handle an admiral. So when he found out they had an encounter, I assume his stomach just dropped and full on big brother freak out mode started happening.

Like he always had a mild worry niggling in the back of his mind, but Ace has his own adventures and his own nakama now, he's got stuff to do and at the pace Luffy is going at, it seems like explanations will be coming soon anyways.

Luckily this whole admiral encounter thing happened shortly before Luffy found Ace again, because every second Ace was waiting on Whitebeard's ship after he found out about it was another second away from Ace just going completely ballistic and shooting off to find his baby bro. The Whitebeards were real good at getting Ace to just calm down and wait a bit, soo good job to them :D! Though, that like idk,,, week or two??? (im not good with timeframes tbh), that he was just waiting to see if his brother was okay was prolly one of the worst weeks of his life.

U know I really debated if I was making Ace recognise sabo too quickly and if I was making him like too emotional or what not,,, but like YEA HE'S SO CONFUSED AND TIRED AND WORRIED!!!! IF THOSE BROTHERS DONT SPEND THE NEXT HOUR JUST SOBBING AND GRASPING AT EACHOTHER LIKE NO ONE ELSE EXISTS THAN I DONT KNOW WHAT I'LL DO!!!!!!

[bibimbinge]

Mark Pakin appreciation post cause why not

THIS IS MARK.

Hes a cutie and I am convinced we are buddies (I have never met this man irl in my life)

teensy background on him, he was a professional badminton player before he decided he wanted to try out acting.. which btw an insane move cause we saw him play in Starlympics, mans have SKILLS!!

Like everyone, he started with a tiny role to test the waters. Yall wanna know what was his first role was??

He was Teh’s college roommate in I Promised You The Moon!! *sidenote @ MARK PAKIN BRING BACK THE LONG WAVY HAIR PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

This was way before BKPP was as huge as they are now but still!! What an iconic debut amirite!!

Anyway, I wanted to write an appreciation post cause we saw with our very own eyes how fast he grew as an actor. In just a year he played 4 characters who are in very different age groups going through very different things. Not an easy task to pull off but he did it. He did it all so well!!!

We got Mark as a high schooler (Thiu in My School President)

Mark played two dudes in their early 20s (Saleng in Moonlight Chicken & Nick in Only Friends)

AND Mark ins his late 20s / late young-adulthood (Night in Last Twilight)

this is ALL WITHIN A YEAR!! after the teeny role in IPYTM he immidiately got signed under GMM and got. to. WORK!

and this isn’t counting him originally getting casted in Cooking Crush before having to do a re-cast cause… well obviously he was over-booked.

What is up with the Marks of the world and wanting to be constantly busy??? We got Mark Lee debuting like 5 different groups + as a solo artist and now we got Mark Pakin who’s booked more roles than many actors whos been in the industry for as long as he has. LEARN TO TAKE A GOOD BREAK MY DUDES!!

anyway SKILLS!! This dude can act!! from playing a best friend whos fed up with his bestie being a loser over his crush to playing a guy committing crimes out of pure jealousy.. he has range and he improved a whole dang lot.

Compared to Mark in the warp effect where we saw him in like.. 10 scenes max.. to Mark as Night in Last Twilight which also about the same number of scenes ((so far)), he's done really good.

the greatest example is Mark as Nick.

duuuude when I tell ya, whenever he popped those heart eyes at Boston I was convinced I knew exactly what he was feeling. He did great at conveying feelings through his eyes and subtle body movements. When he cried, I cried even though Nick was in the wrong.. like he did great!! When he was jealous, I was jealous. I might be an empath who tends to mirror other peoples emotions OR it could just be.. he is THAT good.

Maybe I'm biased or whatever but I believe he's one of the upcoming thai actors you gotta look out for cause.. bros been getting that bag, and he will continue to do so and I will happily watch any series or movies he'll be in.

Alrighty I'm off to take a nap now 😴💤

im tagging a few people who listens to my rants because I love Mark and you should too. @dramalets @markpakin @drama-nonsense @mooniyuta @ayansbff

[ganseyenthusiast]

anyways since the theme of post-TRK seems to be that every single character ignores any development they had and gets worse, I'm listing everything out here + with a rating of how likely I, the authority of everything ever, think it was. greywaren spoilers obviously

1. Declan: Decides Dad was good all along, disregards real actual emotional abuse and parentification as "misremembering" how great Niall was. 6/10. CDTHEU Declan is a very different character to TRK Declan, I still think he's been too self aware throughout to suddenly walk it back THIS severely. I predict a severe breakdown for him age 30 since I've never witnessed someone do Denial as their last stage of grief.. it’s gonna be explosive

2. Ronan: Disregards his family for the majority of his arc, is worse to them than in TRC. does not call gansey for months. finds a new FP instead of a therapist. emotionally worse off. does find himself via terrorism I guess? 9/10. pretty on brand for Ronan to go scorched earth and suffer zero consequences. I do wish he was made aware of his birth circumstances and displayed the same love/grief for aurora/niall that he's shown in every book except greywaren. are you telling me he can look at the New Fenian and be OKAY?????

3. Adam: ‘Reinvents’ himself, suffers, lies, suffers again. Does not call gansey. Suffers in the VoidSpace, apparently with no lasting consequences. becomes a narc. 7/10. I was hoping for a more self aware adam post TRK but him choosing to pull a Henry Cheng is also pretty on brand. wish he'd actually broken up with Ronan for at least a week. him becoming a narc is unfortunately pretty accurate to character but government jobs are not famously well paying so it really does feel random? the only thing he’s done that’s close to sleuthing is inventing pedo murder charges for his teacher/keeping with the bryde stuff. plus he's still not utilizing his magic skill so this just feels like a continuation of the Harvard arc for the rest of his life which is REALLY baffling when u compare how many times TRK insists he's a magician and will remain a magician/psychic despite everything. seems he's growing MORE disconnected with himself. i’m all for negative development but it’s really being framed as a happy ending which is baffling ngl

4. Gansey: has a sociology degree + is only associated with blue (and nobody else) in the 4-5 years since TRK. Completely reversed his stance on henrietta being home, on "I'd take all of you anywhere with me", on his dedication to history/archeology. does not seem too concerned about Ronan going insane, still odd despite the time he's had to get used to it. 5/10. horrible representation of gansey but I DO like that he's focusing on himself instead of raising pynch. as i say this i remember the ring thing and grit my teeth. complete ignorance of Henry AFTER his whole "friends forever and ewer" TRK thing gives me a good playground to make things worse so I like it but it's definitely weird. how did being a teenager specifically suck for you king because I think Being Dead trauma is unrelated to age

5. Matthew: nearly found independence + love in the abrasive way that lynches give it, then was disregarded emotionally and still not given an apology for the Everything from declan. 8/10. extremely on brand for the lynches to not hold each other accountable. Matthew seems to have improved somewhat + Declan is less overbearing about him, so I like it, I'll take it

6. Henry: went into Seondeok's black market low level mob business, got divorced?, does not speak to bluesey. 10/10. it’s so bad. absolutely off brand for the entire theme of him rejecting the Orders his mother who Literally Forced him to come to henrietta gave him (did not begin this game looking for a friend etc). refutes the entire "find your own something more" theme, refutes the "three of us" theme, refutes the "im going to make something great" motives. and I love it. TRULY my worst ending for Henry is becoming yet another fairy market nepotism casualty. he will Literally never escape and it’s FANTASTIC it is so much fun. Ha Ha You Have Become Your Mother

7. Fenian/Mor: live at the fucking barns now. 1/10. you are telling me a series whose entire THING is based on growing up/overcoming grief/moving on ends with THE FUCKING LYNCH FAMILY BACK AT THE BARNS?????????? WHAT THE HELL???? WHY IS EVERYONE OKAY WITH ANY OF THIS??????????????????????????????????????????????????