#im gonna go sleep my good old 4 hours of sleep now

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Summer Glow up: creating new habits 🎀⭐️ *࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ!

Hi Dolls!! Welcome Back 2 Dollies 2 Months of Summer Glow Up !! 🎀⭐️ Today im gonna talk all about implementing brand new habits in my life !!

> Hobbies !! 🎀

> Academics !! 📒

> Beauty Care !! 🧖‍♀️

> Scheduling !! ☀️

> Taking Baby Steps !! 🛼

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Hobbies!! 🎀

…: This Summer I Plan on Taking up Some brand New Hobbies to keep my self busy and learn about brand new things bc everyday is useful!! and so i can use my time more wisely some hobbies i have in mind are…

- Yoga

- Painting

- Creative Writing

- Learning Japanese + Spanish

- Reading

- Puzzles!

- Blogging

- Learning To Code

- Doll Collecting

- Book Collecting

- Sewing + Crocheting

- Digital Art

- Piano

and obvii im already a blogger but i still added it anyways i will watching videos on how to get into these hobbies and videos on learning Spanish and more Japanese, also fun fact i’ve actually been studying Japanese sine 2021 but i stopped bc it got to hard but im starting back up!! anyways, after i watch the videos im gonna set up a financial list bc i have the fund all of these but its okay bc i can easily get money!! 🎀

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Academics !! 🎀

More Goals of mine are to raise my grades in an academic space bc i do have decent grades but i wanna aim higher and have PERFECT Grades so in turn that means i must study more and have more discipline and not so irresponsible with my time!! and i also wanna study subjects outside of school bc its always good to learn something new!! now for learning tips so far i have..

- Flash Cards

- Practice Methods

- Teaching Someone Else

- Trying to explain it to a 5 yr old

- Study a Week Before

- watch ted talks on topics

- SLEEP

- write out notes

Now i Also Have a list of subjects i want to learn about!!

- drawing facial expressions + bodies

- Sewing Stiches + How to Hem and Crochet

- How 2 Draw Bodies + Poses

- Full Anatomy 4 Both Genders

- Japanese + Spanish + French + ASL

- Color Theory

- Learning Cursive + Improving Handwriting

- Expanding Vocabulary

- Religious Cults

- Case and Law

- Poison and Toxicology

- Astronomy

- Medical Surgical Instruments

- Matriarchal Societies

- Socialism Societies

Now i definitely won’t be able to do all of this all at once bc it would definitely we too stressful so im gonna choose as least 2-3 to start with and study them and just learn! 🎀🧁

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Beauty Care !! 🐬

📧: Now I already have my regular beauty care regime skin,hair,eyebrows,eyelashes etc. but im also more focused on getting weekly treatments & weekly beauty care habits like…

- Nails

- Hair

- Eyelashes

- Face Mask

- Hand + Foot Mask

And i wanna try and find people in my city that can do this especially for nails bc i would go to the nail salon but i feel like they won’t be able to do it exactly how i want it to be !!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Scheduling !! ⭐️

Now That im gonna be so busy i need to make sure i also stay organized with my time so it doesn’t lead to stress so ill have my regular school classes on my regular schedule then making dedicated hours to studying Things i wanna learn about + Language Learning!

My Workouts are always early morning before school in the evening hours before i got to bed so i won’t have to worry about that affecting my academics. With my Hobbies i feel like only some of them really need scheduling so ill also make time dedicated to those as well !!!!

Beauty Maintenance will probably always be on weekends for the stuff that weekly/bi weekly like face masks,manipedis,hair etc!!

and last but definitely not least!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Taking Baby Steps !! ⭐️

This whole process is still all new too me so i’ll definitely only be doing a little at a time and working my way up and i get more familiar with the change in my daily life and i won’t pressure my self to complete everything extremely quickly and just take my time with everything! bye bye dolls tysm 4 keeping up with me while doing this kisses 4 all of u!!! 🎀⭐️

[keen-li]

Is there gonna be a part 3 for renegade? Please make a part 3. I’m just curious if reader is gonna accept Jungkook. And if she does if Jungkook is going to be a good dad. Also Your writing is really good! Glad I found this.

(I understand if u don’t wanna make a part 3🥲)

Part 3

Thank you so much 😊 I'm gonna make a part 4 cause I didn't want this to be very long. I hope you like it.

Maybe it's your tiredness or the lack of energy but you allow jungkook to hold your child. You didn't want to argue honestly, isn't this what you wanted anyways. You watch as jungkook holds his baby in his arms, he identifies all his features and laughs warmly at her. Before you let him do skin to skin you made sure he'd showered.

"I'm clean y/n. Why would I come see my baby dirty" you laugh and nod. Its true he must've showered well before coming here cause you can barely smell his usual chemical smell. You appreciate the fact that he did take the time to do that for you, or for the baby.

"How did you even know it was a girl or that i was here?" You say looking cautiously at him as he places the baby in to sleep.

He chuckles deciding to sit next to you on the bed. You allow him to not wanting to ruin this moment.

"Does it matter?" He reaches to touch your hand and when he does all the feelings you've tried to suppress flood back. Your really getting vulnerable now.

"What matters is that I'm here and I care now." Normally you'd scoff at that and chase him away, that's what you should do. But you don't, you really want jungkook. You're not sure if him coming here means he's gonna change, you doubt he's capable of change.

.....

Ever since you've been back from the hospital, jungkook seems a little different, a lot different actually. He's been around more and even gives you money for you and the baby. Money was never a problem for him, so you wonder why he was so harsh about not having a child. Over the five months of your baby's life he's been with you to all the doctor's appointments. He'd even proudly tell the doctor that he was the father, and it'd always put a smile on your face which he'd smile to.

"Y/n you're seriously going to let this man into you and your child's life." Hobi, your best friend and the only person who knows about jungkook, says strictly to you.

You roll your eyes and he scoffs at that.

"He's the father, you want me to shut him out"

"He's a junky who's never gonna change"

"Don't say that. He's changing" you defend jungkook. You always had to bust your ass defending jungkook in front of hobi.

"Changing? Are you fucking delirious." You're taken aback by his language. He never yells like this but you're frustrating him.

"Language" you say pointing to your almost year old.

"Im sorry" hobi says finally calming down. You understand where he's coming from. Hes been there for you during this pregnancy when jungkook was not and it hurts him to see you going back to a road that's bad for you.

"I'm not getting back with him" you try and reassure him.

"He's only here for her" you look at your sweet little girl playing with the toys her dad bought for her.

He's also here for you, hobi wants to say but doesn't. He can tell by the way jungkook does things that he wants to get back with you but you don't notice or maybe you do but ignored it.

....

Its been a long day at the park with yuna and her uncle. You were drained, she's honestly getting very active nowadays and you can't handle her. You're glad you've got hobi to help you though. After about two hours of playing on the swings, slides and sand box you decided it's time to go home.

Hobi carries a crying yuna as you walk back to his car.

"You want me to help you out tonight?" he says talking about yuna. He's noticed how tired you've been lately so he offers to help you with your little long haired girl. He always loved looking after yuna, his favourite and only little girl.

"It's okay, I'm taking her to her grandparents anyways for the night." Hobi nods understandingly.

"Let me drive you there then" he offers and you couldn't agree any faster.

For your night of rest, you put on some music and soak yourself in the tub with a red wine. After you're done you wear your silk night dress and throw a silk robe over it.

You're cooking yourself a steak when you hear a knock at the door. You groan, who could be bothering you now.

When you open the door you see the familiar figure of jungkook. He's in a white shirt and black jeans on. He looks so good. You were surprised he was here, he never told you he was coming like he always does. He's got a tiny little gift in his hand and a bottle of wine in the other.

"What are you doing here" you ask and can see jungkook's eyes run down your attire, you feel a little weird dressed like this in front of jungkook. So you pull your robe to cover you further. Jungkook notices and chuckles at that, as if he hasn't seen everything before.

"Uh... I came to see yuna and brought you this" he raises the wine bottle to show you.

"Well I'll take this" you say reaching for the wine bottle first then the cute little box he came with.

"Yuna isn't here though" he looks at you with a concerned look "she's at her grandparents' place" he still looks at you confused as to why she's there in the middle of the week.

"I needed a break for one night... and they gladly accepted"

"Okay, thats okay" you look at eachother not knowing what to say.

"Can I come in". You raise a brow at him "i mean you aren't going to finish that bottle by yourself"

"You'd be surprised the things I can do" you say stepping aside to let him in.

He laughs at that. He's being more kind and gentle with his actions.

"Mmm smells nice in here. what are you cooking"

"Just a steak" you say opening the oven to check on it.

"Wanna stay for dinner" You're unsure of whether you should be asking that but you ask it still.

"If that's an invitation then sure" he smiles "I always liked your cooking" he says making you blush.

"How's yuna, haven't seen her for sometime now and I'm kinda missing her" You're surprised to hear jungkook say he misses her. You'd never expect him to say those words.

"Umm she's okay, she's growing up so fast though." You straighten yourself to face jungkook who's leaning against your island.

"I know right, when you just blink she's gonna be three, then she's gonna ten then she's gonna be a teenager-"

"Okay I get it" you say stopping him "I want her to stay a little girl" you pout and jungkook smiles at that. He loved when you did that always made him wanna turn you over and-

"I think I'm done cooking so let me just take this to the table"

"I'll help you" he says happily. You don't know who this is but it's not the jungkook you know.

While having dinner you simply chat about work and personal life, nothing exciting happening in both of yours apart from yuna. Yuna's been a hot topic of your conversation. You avoid bringing up how jungkook was so negative about the pregnancy, cause you were afraid you might lose this new jungkook. You didn't want to dwell on the past only wanting to go forward. Hopefully he's truly changed.

"Let me clean up y/n. You've already cooked" you two are 'arguing' about who gets to wash the dishes. In the end jungkook wins and you don't mind him doing the dishes.

You stand leaning next to the sink watching him eyes wide open just incase he isn't washing them right.

"Why you looking at me like that" he says jokingly as he sprinkles some water on you. You flinch at the feeling and rumble some childish complaints as you wipe it off. Jungkook laughs at your child-like act as he dries his hand.

"I don't know who's my baby between you or yuna" jungkook say in a sultry voice.

You blush at that and watch as jungkook traps you between him and the island. He's so close to you you can smell the wine from him. You two have been drinking that wine all night leaving only a quarter in the bottle. Lately you haven't smelt that chemical and smoky scent in a while, did he stopped his old habits finally deciding to get clean for yuna. You aren't sure cause you haven't visited his place or investigated him to know, just hoping that he's actually clean now.

"Hm, who's my baby you or yuna" his voice is quiet and soft drawing you into him. Your body moves on its own as your back arches off the island and you're now against his crotch.

"We both are" your eyes move from his now low and dark eyes to his rosy lips which he bites and when you notice that you almost clench around nothing. Jungkook really did this to you, had you round his finger sexually.

He moves to your neck running kisses up and down your neck and all around your throat. You happily let him kiss you wherever he wants, you're not really thinking cause of how good it feels. You haven't had sex with anyone since you got pregnant with yuna and even if you didn't noticed you've been very needy. If hobi played his cards right you would have let him hit but you doubt he sees you like that.

"I've missed you so much you know" he says and the vibration from his voice sends electricity to your core. You latch onto his shirt with your hands as you moan at his kisses. His hands slowly hike up your already short night dress. Jungkook seeing you in this made him want you even more, the silk showing him your perky boobs that definitely got bigger after having yuna. Everytime he watched you breastfeed her he could feel his zip almost break from the hardness in his pants, cause you looked so good that pregnancy glow still on you even after giving birth. Sometimes at home he'd think of sucking your boobs filled with that milk that belonged to his daughter, but he was just curious on how it'd taste.

You release another needy moan as you feel his bulge grow right in front of you.

"I haven't found anyone who makes me feel like you do" he says his sweet words to draw you in and they work because you need this so much. You need him so much.

"Jungkook" you say through moans when you realise he thinks you're moaning his name instead of calling him you push him away to stop.

"What's wrong" he asks looking at you concerned.

"We shouldn't" you say thinking about it thoughtfully. Jungkook knows what you're saying.

"What? Do you have a boyfriend?" He asks so seriously and you shake your head 'no'. It's not like that would change anything for him anyways. He just wanted to know the answer.

"Then I don't see what the problem is." He places a long peck on your lips.

"Im just trying to spend some time with my baby" he kisses your lips again. It feels so good you just want more.

"Do you want this?" He asks to be sure. Even though logic says otherwise you really want jungkook. You want to feel how much he's missed you, you want him to make up for all the times he could have fucked you but didn't. You want him to make up for everything.

"Fuck I want this. I want you. I want you so bad jungkook" and by the way you say his name he knows how bad you want this. And he takes that as a yes to continue.

"Then I'll give it to you."

Immediately he connects your lips and kisses you like there's no tomorrow cause you know this happening again is not guaranteed. He lifts your body and places you on the counter. your lips are still connected as he pulls away.

"You want me to eat you out?" He asks as you're still chasing his lips. You shake your head moving your hands to unbuckle his belt, he smiles against your lips as you finally get it off and pull out his hard throbing cock.

"No I just want you" you say breathless as he agrees and pulls you closer and finally pulls off your panties which were uncomfortably sticking to your core due to how wet jungkook's got you.

It isn't long before you feel the tip of his cock glide against your folds, you spread your legs hoping jungkook would just do it already.

"Are you sure your cunt can still take me" he asks teasingly as he smirks knowing you're impatient.

"I can. I pushed out a whole baby do you think your dick can hurt me" you answer him sharply, breath still heavy waiting for some action from him. He chuckles as he slowly goes through your tight hole. You feel every inch of him, his little veins more noticeable. Has he gotten bigger or have you been needy for too long.

"Fuck you're so tight, I wouldn't even have suspected you had a baby"

"My baby" he says as he starts to move faster knocking the breath out of your lungs. You moan carelessly his name falling out of your mouth here and there.

"Shit" you curse as you grip the counter for some support. Jungkook watches your boobs bounce up and down and he can't help himself but latch onto your clothed nipple.

With the way he's thrusting into you and sucking your nipple you feel that long-time-no-see knot in your stomach. Jungkook grunts as you pull his hair, he can also feel himself nearing.

"Fuck. do you want me to cum in you" he asks raising a brow at a wrecked you.

"Please" you plead not able to formulate long sentences.

"Want me to fill you up huh" he thrusts grow faster, hungrier and the knot tightens.

"Want me to give you another baby?"

"Fuck jungkook" you can barely control your moans anymore.

"Im gonna fill you up so good. Gonna make yuna an older sister" he continues to hit the spot with his fast thrusts.

"What do you think?" He asks you but you cant give an answer.

"Hm? Baby" he presses for an answer and gives you a slap on the thigh to remind you to answer. You clench, jungkook's movements stop for a bit and he knows you're about to cum.

"Where do you want it" he askes trying to keep himself in longer.

"Inside" he hears you say and he chuckles.

"Oh, you're serious about the baby thing" no you're not. Ever since you got pregnant you decided you'd always use birth control. Even though you didn't have sex with anyone you just wanted to be safe, and birth control helped with your periods anyways so it was a plus.

Shortly you feel the knot in you snap and you're breathing heavily also feeling jungkook's seed in you. Honestly the thought of getting pregnant for jungkook is exciting but yuna's too young for it.

Jungkook rests against your neck as you both collect your breaths your hands still running through his hair.

"I missed this" he says against your skin as he rubs your thighs.

"I missed this too"

......

[mirandapriestlyswife]

Mirandy fanfic- Apocalypse Au; Chapter 4

Hi everyone! Sorry this took so long Ive been busy :) this is mostly just fluffy filler, im hoping to make the next few chapters more angsty. Enjoy!

Prologue- https://www.tumblr.com/mirandapriestlyswife/747204446805704704/mirandy-fanfic-apocalypse-au-prologue

Chapter 1 https://www.tumblr.com/mirandapriestlyswife/747303362291286016/mirandy-apocalypse-fic-chapter-1

Chapter 2 https://www.tumblr.com/mirandapriestlyswife/747419492186996736/mirandy-fanfic-apocalypse-au-chapter-2

Chapter 3 https://www.tumblr.com/mirandapriestlyswife/747593307288403968/mirandy-fanfic-apocalypse-au-chapter-3

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Waking up with your old bosses head snuggled tight in the crook of your neck is a nice feeling, but an odd one at that. It’s what Andy has been dealing with the last 6 weeks. After that first night Miranda was quick to move all of her things to the studio apartment she resided in. The floor was practically shaking under the pressure of the dozens of suitcases Miranda had brought with her. Eventually, as she assumed, Miranda got sick of the pull out couch. Its what she expected. What she didn’t expect was for Miranda to insist they inhabit a place that required less stairs to climb.

“Maybe a nice first floor hotel room?” Andy suggested

“No room on the first floor is nice.”

“Maybe we could go to queens? See if theres any abandoned places there?”

Miranda snorted, “Queens.. Be serious, Andrea.”

“Maybe we could take a trip like I suggested?”

“No.”

“Alright..”

Miranda let out a deep sigh and a grunt, “Maybe.”

Maybe was good enough for Andy!

Over the weeks they had finally decided on a beautiful brownstone, probably abandoned by some rich upper class losers who had ditched the city to go hide in one of those bunkers upstate.. At least thats what shes assuming since Miranda made her look through every room, under every duvet cover, in every bathtub, for any corpses but none were to be found. It took the two of them what felt like hours to haul Mirandas suitcases inside (with Andy doing most of the work).

Now the two sat, with Miranda sitting at the kitchen island reading some old magazine as Andy prepared “lunch” (a combination of canned green beans, spam, and canned corn), she didn’t bother telling Miranda its spam so she’d actually eat.

“Whatcha reading?”

“Runway.”

“Really? I never would’ve guessed.” She smiled and slid Miranda her plate which Miranda looked at with only mild disgust rather than her usual “oh my God I used to have a private chef, now look at me” face. She sat down next to the editor and took a bite of the salty green beans. It was weird, having this almost domestic relationship with Miranda of all people.. I mean- they slept in the same bed for Gods sake. Andy couldn’t tell what she felt for the older woman anymore, something between love and slight fear, alike before the outbreak, but maybe with a bit less fear after sleeping in the same bed as her for nearly a month. They haven’t spotted another living person in all of New York City, it felt as Miranda said, “A waste of time” to keep looking.

“Sooo.. Anything new in Runway?”

Miranda let out a displeased grunt.

“Can you at least eat?“

Miranda visibly rolled her eyes and shut her magazine before poking at the meal.

“You slept in late today.” The editor noted aloud.

“Yeah.. Guess I was tired-“

“I was worried you died.”

Andy snorted and took a bite of her spam when she saw Miranda staring at her with her piercing blue eyes, somehow scarier in the afternoon light. “Im serious.”

Andy paused, unsure how to act. “Mira- what-?? Im not gonna just die on you!” She awkwardly sputtered out.

“Well.. Good.” The editor stared at the other woman’s facial features for a minute before turning back to her plate and continuing to poke at the food.

“Can you actually eat something? Im tired of watching you poke at your food like some snooty house cat.” She watched closely as Miranda rolled her eyes and finally took a bite of the corn with a displeased look.

“Good?”

“Its fine.”

Andy chuckled, “Thanks.. I worked all day on it.” Miranda was not amused by her attempt at humor.

The two ate in silence until Andy spoke up. “I think im gonna head out today.. Look for some more food or something.. You want anything special?” The editor rolled her eyes

“A ribeye would be lovely.”

“Sure ill add it to the list next to the lobster dinner.”

Miranda grumbled and took a bite of meat which she visibly cringed at. She sighed woefully as they ate in silence.

“I like your shoes.”

“They’re last seasons.”

“Im sure no one will notice.”

Miranda smiled. Andy found it rewarding to see the editor smile. It felt as if she was playing a constant game of try not to laugh and she was always losing, but sometimes she had a small victory.

“We should go to MoMa soon.” Miranda suggested as she pushed her half eaten food away and stood up.

“We could go today?”

“I thought you would be searching for more cans of vomit to serve us.”

Andy frowned, “Hey! Its good. You’re just too privileged to appreciate the effort that goes into-“

“Into opening a can?” Miranda smirked, she always got that smug look of satisfaction when she was right, it made Andys heart flutter.

“I don’t just ‘open a can’, I have to go search for things I’ll hope you’ll eat, touch dusty crates in the back of bodegas, its gross.” Miranda simply scoffed and turned on her heels, setting the magazine she had been reading on the slightly dusty table that displayed photos of the twins Miranda had taken with her along with two urns.

Andy never asked about the twins. She was sure Miranda didn’t want to talk about them. She sighed and scratched at her arm awkwardly as she leaned on the kitchen island.

“Well. If you must.. Scavenge, then go ahead. But I would like you back before dark.”

One thing new shed learned about Miranda Priestly was that the woman was absolutely petrified of the dark. Whenever the two went to bed the room had to be illuminated by battery powered candles just for the editor to sleep through the night. Andy might’ve found it endearing if it didn’t always put a time limit on all of her out of the house activities. She had to be home at 5:00 due to the shortened December days. Oh how she missed summer.

“Yeah. I’ll be back before dark.” She walked over to Miranda and grabbed a few of the massive grocery bags stored under the table. “Any requests before I head out?”

“Fruit. But get water with it. I dont like the sugary concoction that slathers the stuff.”

“Canned fruit, got it.” Andy sighed and to her own surprise leaned over and gave Miranda a kiss on the cheek goodbye.

Miranda froze, not looking displeased but a bit surprised as did Andy. She smiled and awkwardly said, “I’ll be back in two hours tops, okay?”

Miranda made a noise of approval and as Andrea was leaving the older woman piped up.

“Andrea?”

“Hm?” She turned on her heels to face Miranda.

“Be safe. I love you.”

Andy stared at Miranda in disbelief, “..I love you too.” She finally sputtered, the editor smiled and nodded before turning down the hall, most likely to go nap.

Andy was shocked, Miranda loved her?? Miranda Priestly loved her?! Maybe she was looking too much into it.. She might mean it as platonic love.. But still, the words made Andys heart skip a beat.

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────

I hope you enjoyed! Again, sorry for the wait

[suchagallabitch]

🫵weekly wednesday tag 🫵

omg I (simple old me?) have been bestowed upon the honour of coming up with these questions??? i would like to thank the academy for this most sacred honour 😋

1. if you could switch bodies with anybody for only one hour who would it be and what would you do? I think I gotta say taylor swift OBVI. first off im gonna dropping ME! acoustic version. Then I’m gonna hope lover deluxe is already recorded, drop that. If not i will make sure to text Jack and tell him that we need to record it so that i get it either way 😼. Then I would find out the definite truth of what happened between her and Karlie Kloss. I’d wire myself (as in me- me) a few million dollars, pet the cats and then post something really random on her instagram story. Literally want to make the public go absolutely bananas trying to figure out why taylor posted a random twitter meme. I have a lot of faith to believe this could all happen in an hour but I would try. SO hard.

2. whats your most trivial / dumbest hot take?I don’t think we should still be discovering animals. like what do you mean in the year of our lord 2023 we are STILL finding animals?? no they should all be discovered and if they havent been then i think they should stay undiscovered.

3. if you had to teach a college course what would it be in? I feel like we’re all expecting me to say something Taylor related but honestly I could teach a masterclass on the psychology of Ryan Murphy. I hate that man and i have so much to say about him and his productions

4. season 12 of shameless is suddenly happen and youve been put in charge! what plot point(s) are you gonna make happen? I cant think of anything substantial to actually contribute but i want Carl Gallagher to have a fruity little vape. I also want to see him quit the force and flourish in a new job!

5. who would be your godly parent? (can be any mythology). I’m gonna go with greeks as a Percy Jackson stan. I asked my bsf who is an expert in greek mythology. She said: “you’re a Aphrodite child cuz you’re a hopeless romantic and you appreciate beauty. You’re very particular in how you’re viewed and how everything you produce is viewed (what you write, how your feed looks like, etc.)” - I’m gonna have to agree with her on Aphrodite

6. what’s something you love about yourself? I think i’m so very very funny

7. describe your day in 5 emojis: 😴👁️👩‍💻✈️☕️

8. what shameless character do you think you could beat in a fight? Realistically i think the ONLY person i could beat in a fight is Liam and honest to god im not even sure i could.

9. tell us 2 truths and a lie, we’ll try to guess the lie!

- I’m double jointed

- I sleep on the left side of the bed

- I’ve never had pumpkin pie

10. do you have a pet(s). if so how did they get their name? I do! my son (cat) is named Chidi after the good place!

11. show us a meme (or picture) that captures your essence

self explanatory.

12. whats your typical coffee / tea / beverage order? see i gotta have a special lil drinky drink everyday and i mean my little drinky drinks are free so i am likw 80% gingerbread chai at any given time. Alternatively, an iced chestnut praline latte w/ praline cold foam.

13. use a song to describe the last 5 years of your life?

2019- its nice to have a friend- taylor swift

2020- ribs - lorde

2021- nothing new - taylor swift

2022- first love / late spring- mitski OR orlando- leith ross

2023- true blue - boygenuis OR now that we don’t talk - taylor swift.

Thank you friends thats all i got :)

I Tag: @deedala @darlingian @michellemisfit @mybrainismelted @too-schoolforcool @gallawitchxx @gardenerian @sam-loves-seb @thisdivorce @xninetiestrendx @scarcrosseduntouched @juliakayyy @y0itsbri @grumble-fish @grumpymickmilk @transmickey @surviving-maybe @metalheadmickey @heymrspatel @auds-and-evens @deathclassic @flamingbluepanda @crossmydna @sleepyfacetoughguy @vintagelacerosette @depressedstressedlemonzest @thepupperino @squidyyy23 @energievie 🫶🫶

[safetyobstacles]

starting o segredo na floresta now, im either gonna finish this in a week or its gonna take months good luck me

update - i love joui

joui, its a little cloudy out, roll for sanity. joe, you stubbed your toe, roll sanity. joui did you just frown???????? roll a sanity test with disadvantage. that was cool joui, you gain 1 sanity. just kidding somewhere in the netherlands a child tripped and scraped their knee, you lose 10 sanity.

i think im going to put my updates under the cut instead of spamming posts B) beware of spoil

UPDATE

if cellbit takes liz or thiago from me ill never forgive him

this bar has to be its own paranormal entity, thiago would have died if the gun had a bullet in it and cristopher nearly got knifed to death in their first fight loll

EP 2

npc thiago about to be the most useless mf ever i swear if he dies to a stray ant or something ill cry just put him in a box for safe keeping

what would i do without the mental image of joui dropkicking every monster he sees

liz why are you finger painting with the ooze monsters remains and why did it give you 1 hp ?????? NEVERMIND

EP 3

RACCOON bro has 8 health but he sure is happy

faz um teste de sanidade

when i said thiago was gonna die to an ant i didnt actually mean kill him with giant spiders

cristopher no please dont climb a tree these are spiders they can climb nah bro cristopher is dead af im gonna miss him. bro cellbit just kill him already bros dead 2 hp

damn

ep 4

at this rate luba doesnt even need to roll sanity we all know hes gonna fail anyways joui's having the worst two days of his life

jesus christ i just woke up i cant handle this shit cesar's punching a hole in my itty bitty heart bones

please stop talking about leticio's cacetinho

EP 5 how long is too long for a tumblr post btw

the starting soon screen replaced cris with arthur notlikethis

cellbit is far too happy about them going to this house i hate it i hate it

i would like for them to leave a casa now :))) they got gregório time to go :) DAMN JOUI JUST GOT STEAMROLLED BY THAT ZOMBIE ROLLED A 99 VS CELLS 1 jesus christ thiago LOL NO WAY GREGÓRIO IS DEAD AF bro was just taking a nap in the car and this is what he gets

that was horribly stressful its 3 am how am i supposed to sleep after that

to be fair, if i was rodolfo and liz didnt use the tazer, i would have just dragged gregório in front of arthur and killed him in right in front of his face soo...

ROLLED 100 LOOOOOOOOOOOOL a caverna

COOL GUY ALERT HOPE HE DOESNT KILL BRULIO HAHAhahaaa

EP 6 I HAVE GREAT ANXIETY THIS MESTRE GUY IS ABOUT TO KILL HALF THE SQUAD

luba i know youve been rolling absolute dog shit the last 5 episodes but this one really counts buddy brulio :(

most stressful hour of youtube ive ever sat through i cant believe they all lived

A PORTA FORTE

EP 7 im so glad they're going back to the house im so happy ive never wanted anything else this is great nothing could go wrong in this house nothing

7 episodes in and ive just now realised that he keeps talking about circles and spirals and those have significance with a certain element and now i want them to leave carpazinha go back home forget this ever happened

undressing with the homies in the haunted basement next to a dead old man

not thiago canonically talking to a bookshelf after complaining about joui's whispering to his shotgun

THIS GRAVE IS SO COMPLICATEDDDD I BET ITS FUCKING EMPTY THEYRE ARGUING ABOUT HOW TO "knock out" AN OLD LADY AND ITS PROBABLY JUST WORMS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GRAVEEE

this whole graveyard scene has me in tears thiago staring at nothing while they try to get him to unmute, old guy on the phone, joui picking up the old lady i just laughed so hard i feel ill

the one time joui doesnt fail a roll he loses 6 SANITY?? 8 SANITY?????????????? SENHORA VOCE TA BEM????? YOU JUST CHOKED HER OUT JOUI WAIT SHES GONNA DIE??????????? SHES GOING TO DIE???????????? THE GASOLINE IN THE MOUTH??

grounded from the shotgun for 1 week

EP 8

Thiago's pants are still fucked up from last episode btw

about to have a tpk over alchohol poisoning

if cesar survives this campaign hes gonna put as many points possible into forgery

a caverna im goign fuckign crazy the god of tdeath pr spomething is in this cave theyre gonna walk inside trip on a pebble and get eaten by hundreds of tiny cave beetles

Victor is absolutely about to get his face eated by a spider and/or be swallowed by the cave

ok but santo berço looks kinda cool like i would live there

EP 9 he just (re?)released osnf merch but i refuse to be spoiled by absolutely anything ive done so well i will not be tainted by cesar's really cool green on black long sleeve

wait i love the gatekeeper its a shame this town is probably a hallucination and theyre all actually slowly dying in the middle of the forest GIANT COWS I LOVE THE GIANT COWS WITH REGULAR SIZED HEADS

????????????????????????????????FELPS??????????????????????

buttery butter

thiago this is why you should have quit smoking

?????FELPS?????????

EP 10 so if thiago hadnt used the lighter would felps still be alive, probably just would have died later B)

bro joui has got to buy new dice this is crazy

this is gonna be the average 2 star motel experience BRO JUST DABBED ON CESAR liz is about to get bodied by the hallway ghosts this is just like a regular motel HUH UHHHHHHH

no joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy joui kill the hotel guy

mom i want to go home i dont want to stay in santo berço anymore jesus christ

EP 11 how am i supposed to just start the next episode after that i think the mental image of brulio beating arthurs skull in is burned into my brain space

sandwich sandwich

i love the giant cows so much i want one GIANT CHICKEN LAY GIANT EGG I LOVE THE GIANT CHICKEN intimidating the human sized pig

EP 12 still thinking about how cellbit thought new zealand was so close to europe, he was so sure of it that he was making me unsure of where i knew new zealand was

both times thiago was played by cellbit some horrific shit happened so with arthur being an npc this episode im prepared for the worst also this starting soon screen is fucking wicked

are you telling me joui's max sanity is now 12 bros been losing it for so long hes stuck like this joui is the "damn, you live like this?" meme

CELLBO ROLEPLAYED TOO HARD HIS HEADSET JOINED AS AN ENEMY AND BEAT HIS SETUP

"that sounds like a book title" bro let the intrusive thought win

baby nidere

no way the cow has been suffering this whole time ill cry

theyre about to rp their way into an angry medieval mob when they get found with the body of the dead gatekeeper B) does santo berço have dungeons, bc if they do thats where theyll be sleeping tonight nvm the gatekeeper has demons inside him sorry joui HUh no way they killed the gatekeeper dude wtf

EP 13 chat's a bit excited to go in the cave guys if anyone reads this what am i supposed to do once i finish this season. what do you mean i just have to go onto desconjuração. what do you mean i have to leave this story behind. please let me keep all the characters in this one.

THE CAVE MAP IS COOOOOOL THE LIGHT MOVES WITH THE MINER everyone struggling to flip their characters 5 mins into the cave made me laugh so hard i had to pause to breathe

I LOVE MOLES DUDE THEYRE SO COOL ok but i dont love this many moles BRO I LOVE MOTHS TOO THIS IS AWESOME wait no i hate bats THIS MOTH IS SUFFERINGGGGG

THE SUCC hes about to kill them all with the Succ out of spite thiago never mock one of cellbit's monsters again ARTHUR ZIUM

door door door door door door door door door door the gatekeeper is alive???

ih arthur nah dude let go of cesar :(((((((((((( gotta hand it to arthur hes survived two of these situations now get it, hand it to him, CAUSE HE LOST HIS FUCKING ARM WTF HIS ARM DETATCH LIKE A LEGO sorry i vote we still kill the gatekeeper just in case just to be safe

EP 14 did cellbit have a past traumatic experience with a vacuum is that why he created the Succ

agatha?????? bro agatha's life sucked big pp

every time cellbit says hes excited for something i grow more afraid

if they kill and eat the gatekeeper would he also taste delicious just wondering

i think i might know the reason why 12 sanity joui has a funky grey form but 55 sanity thiago doesnt, but maybe im crazy nevermind thiago had the funky grey within him this whole time wait does that mean hes gonna die if santo berço dies DAMN

joui just really wants to see thiago naked also hes just blatantly stealing arthur's knife he really is losing all his sanity that was possibly the most unconvincing "nada" ive ever heard

EP 15 before i start a new episode i always go to the vod on twitch and watch the memes first so i can go "hehe" for five minutes, and then go "oh no" for the next 4 hours

hypothetically, if joui managed to get the symbol on him before anyone noticed would he have just lost all 12 of his sanity and gone mad cuz that would have been crazy :,)

this is it cellbit is finally going to kill npc thiago joui is so very happy about his shotgun i thought maybe he was getting better but hes whispering to it again

alright whats up with cellbit and the outwards opening doors because i swear i have never seen a door that opens out instead of in, are all the doors like that in his home these doors are made to have creatures attack from inside ih i just checked like 3 times to make sure i was on the right episode lmaoooo

"pobre martha" DAAAAAAMN MARIANA ICE COLD

one buff woman vs all 3 equipe kelvin who will win (1 woman) crazy that equipe kelvin managed to accomplish what took our group 9 episodes to get to lool they even got the leticio cacetinho dlc, but they did skip the spider boss fight and the entire house level

THE BLACKSMITH IS MIGUEL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 16 the joui, liz, and arthur cosplay look like theyre going to a nice dinner meanwhile thiago, kenan, and cesar just look homeless

idk if thiago's making it out of this one :,) maybe we just take thiago's weapons its not like he can do much to help anyways kenan wants to skin him listen brother i dont think thats gonna work im at the 52 min mark and cellbit is acting sus af the blacksmith is about to appear and stomp them all or something

joui would roll a 99 and nearly knife cesar and liz is trying so hard not to metagame her way to the explosive backpack loving how trigger happy joui is right now go on guys give him more explosives what the worst that could happen

is kenan also a wellspring do they have to kill him cuz thats gonna be kind of awkward and on that note since thiago has the symbol on him does that make him a wellspring too ill cry i will cry

NOT JOUI APOLOGIZING FOR LYING ABOUT HIS SAMURAI ANCESTRY

damn that scene between joui, liz, and thiago was the best in the entire season

i would like to take this moment before they all get swallowed alive by some horrible sludge tentacle monster to proclaim my absolute hatred of Santo Berço. I know i said at the end of episode 8 that i thought it looked cool but im over it ive moved past that point in my life i hate Santo Berço

BIG GOOEY MEATBALL

"the people are happy here!" says the blacksmith as he currently has 5 people forcefully locked up for decades that have gone mad with probably no way of ever regaining their sanity i just realised miguel and the old blacksmith fucked so hard they had a kid

final boss aboutta come crawling out of the meatball please stop trying to skin thiago the symbol isnt gonna come off

THAT WAS SICK AF THEYRE ALL DEAD AS HELL

???????????????????? "kenan you have one last sane move before i take your character and throw him off a cliff"

:(

post i made after i finished osnf (made like 3 days later because i was so so so so so so so so so so sad)

https://www.tumblr.com/safetyobstacles/739056899257942016/i-finished-osnf-after-almost-2-months-and-you-know?source=share

[lilacs-world]

I feel like I’m chronically not okay but idk if I’m valid enough to label myself as chronically ill. I am able to work 40h a week but with the cost of laying in bed the rest of the day when I’m back home. In the weekends I sleep mostly. My room is a disaster because I never have the energy to tackle the chaos. I wished I was able to walk to work and back but standing for more than 15 min is already exhausting me and I get dizzy and lightheaded. I am constantly in pain, my normal pain level is on good days at a 2 on bad days it’s at a 4 or 5 but maybe I’m too modest about my pain due to fear of admitting I’m not okay. I am always tired even if I sleep usually enough. At times I feel more refreshed with only 4 hours of sleep hell knows why. I am waking up daily at 5:45am to get myself ready for 8am work. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be a functioning adult. I am scared of the moment I will unmask bcs im masking daily due to Audhd. Plus daily I’m confused because we are often switching and my quality at work at times fluctuating and my TLs wondering wtf bcs we know u know all the processes so wtf. Daily I feel like I know only a specific part of the processes and I have days where I ask so many questions that one of the TLs told me they are growing gray hairs bcs of me asking so much. The doctors in my country are shit when I mentioned suspecting we are a system they said nah it’s just ur anxiety. When I questioned if I have adhd my former psych said nah only kids can have it. My former therapist said yeah after unofficially diagnosing me with it. Autism I suspect that too and I got my confirmation more or less from my bf who’s on the spectrum as well. He got his confirmation he has adhd as well by me noticing lots of adhd things in him and he has now meds whilst me is in this godforsaken country that isn’t taking me seriously. I got my confirmation I have adhd when I took speed and realised for the first time "so this is how neurotypicals experience their life?" I for once had a train of thoughts in order and not a carambolage of luggage’s getting stuck in the baggage claim belt. I sobbed so hard. On good days I am able to remember and memorise lots of shit. But on bad days I barely anything. My body is out of control. I have pcos and it’s ravaging my body. I grow hair on my chin and arms and it’s making me uncomfortable and I developed anxiety about having hair in my face to the point over pluck and over shave it. My period is out of control. I either bleed for 2 months consecutive or I don’t have my period for 6 months. I am anemic due to it. I am such a pale human that I’m constantly being asked if I am okay. Oh yeah not to forget having an autoimmune disease since I am 2 years old. Having to deal with psoriasis break outs each winter where I end up being covered on my legs, arms , ass with skin patches of psoriasis. At times it’s even in my eyebrows and on my scalp. Each winter is a torture for me. I am battling with depression as well. Luckily this last year it wasn’t so overbearing and I felt more human than I used to in the past. Nonetheless my anxiety is ravaging and leaving me crippled daily. I sound ridiculous talking about myself rn bcs in my brain I feel like you aren’t this sick or unwell you are faking this you are a horrible human for saying all this things but I know it’s probably my internal ableism and the internal critical subconsciously developed voices of my surroundings telling me I’m not actually sick and I need to go to work even if sick etc. Sigh. Idk where I wanted to go with this whole post. I know you guys don’t see often a personal post from me or posts from me and more reblogs of stuff I enjoy seeing and stuff I wanna boost and stuff I find important or relatable or stuff that I think might make someone feel better and less anxious or feel seen. I hope this is fine. I hope being more real is helpful. Maybe I should do this rambling on my other blog @unfilteredrealities where I tried to talk about life in a real way , unfiltered. You can even send in your own submissions if u want to.

Anyway thanks for reading my ted talk.

TLDR: I don’t know if I’m actually chronically ill and if I’m valid enough to label myself as that and then I rambled about my life experiences with audhd, did, anxiety, depression, pcos, psoriasis and there are more but I’m exhausted.

[violentviolette]

can't sleep. my cats been missing since yesterday afternoon. this'll be her second night not here and the longest she's ever been away from home. its been raining all day. its still raining. my wife thinks she might have gotten stuck up a tree. she hates the cold and being wet. also heights. she doesn't like jumping up to high places. we think she fell out of a tree when she was a kitten before I found her.

I looked for her all day and into tonight. stopped once it got too dark. gonna keep looking once the sun comes up again and I know I need go sleep before that happens

ive never actually bonded with an animal before but ive also never had one as long as ive had her. its been 10 years. ive also never had one go missing. i dont like new feelings. ive had 3 panic attacks and started crying like a dozen times. ive checked all over the house, every floor every room top to bottom over and over again. pretty much once every hour. I checked outside 4 times but I didn't search the trees in the backyard. thats the first thing I'm gonna check in the morning. I want to check now but its pitch black and I dont have a good enough flashlight. but its raining. its raining and she hates the rain and heights and the cold

I dont actually know what I'll do if shes dead. not finding her would somehow be worse. id just worry forever.. I still don't know how she got out, if she got out. my wife keeps telling me there's no way she's just dead inside the house. she wasn't sick. or old. theres nothing she could eat that would poison her. if she'd fallen inside and snapped her neck we'd have found her by now. the dogs would know and be acting weird. by tomorrow wed start to smell her.. shes gotta be outside

I just want her to be somewhere. anywhere. Its driving me insane that I dont know where she is or what's happening to her or where to find her. I dont even have a clue. she just disappeared into thin air. she's not an outside cat. everywhere I look and everything I do is a guess or a shot in the dark. I dont know what to do so im not doing enough. I could look for her better if I knew where she was. if I knew anything at all other than that I saw her in the kitchen yesterday afternoon and then haven't seen her since. I hate not knowing things I hate not having information I hate not knowing what the right thing to do next is. theres too many variables and too many options and I just don't know.

I spent all day tearing apart the house looking for her. what if shes been outside the whole time. I could have been looking outside more. I could have found her by now. what if I keep wasting more time and more days go by because I just don't know

I hate not knowing. it makes u make the wrong decisions. u dont know and then u do the wrong thing and then u get the bad outcome because u didn't know. I hate it I hate it I hate it. this is why I need to know everything all the time because if I just know things I can fix it. I never have enough information to just fucking fix it

I need to go to sleep. I want my cat back.

[somemetallyillbitch]

My love

Okay so I didn't find a fanfic anywhere with him so I am just gonna project my fluffy fantasys in this fic. Also Reader is Harpers kid in this one. I hope you will like it

!!Not prove read!!

-------------------------------------------------------

Warnings: fluff, a bit of angst and just comfort, yelling, Happy ending,Herassment, abusive ex tell me if I left anything out

She/her pronouns

------------------------------------------------------

I was in the bar with friends including my mom and her friends. "So tell us more about this mystery man." Lopez said with a smile on her face. No one knew that it was John since my mom was his TO. "Ya like a Name, that would be helpful." my mom added "so you can spy on him ya not gonna happen, and why is it so important to you to find him, he makes me very happy" I say. "And from what I've heard he makes you scream to" Lopez said. Oh she was playing dirty. "what?! Now u really need his name I wanna know who my baby is screwing" My mom said. "Oh that is so not gonna happen and how do you know about this anyways?" I turned to Angela. "I have my sources" she simply said.

We where having a good time when I went to get another round for us. That's when he appeared. My ex. The man who was abusive and absolutly shit. I just prayed to all the gods that he doesn't see me. But that did happen.

"Oh well hello my love, it's been so long" he said with a smug smile. "yes I wonder why?" I said sarcasm dripping in my voice. "hey you know I dont like ist when you are Sarcastic so cut it out" and with that he grabbed my arm and wanted to jank me out of the bar but I freed myself somehow and came back to the table.

"Hey im sorry but I don't feel well so I'm gonna head home." I said just wanting to get to John, the only man I wanted right now. "Are you okay should I give you a ride?" my mom asked but I politely declined and walked home, or to John. Lucly he didn't life far away so I was there soon.

"John? John im home." I said. "Hey dove, I didn't think you were gonna be back..so..soon, what's going on you seem upset." he said taking my face in his soft warm hands. "I saw my ex again" I said tears welling up "what ex?" he asked afraid he'd knwo the answer. "David." I said breaking down crying in his chest. "he grabbed me and wanted to drag me outside." I sobbed. He just hugged me tight and strocked my back. "im so sorry dove, but you are here now. You are save now, no one is gonna hist you anymore, not if I can help it." we went to the chouch and I sat on his lap hidding my face hin his neck, I want to stay like this forever.

I was so exhausted from all that that I fell asleep on his chest, so he carried me into the bedroom and he layed down next to me and I snuggled up next to him.

A few hours later I woke up from the doorbell, I looked over to John who was asleep like a rock, lucky, I thought. When I went to open it I already regreted it. "Mom? What are you doing here at *looks at clock* 4 am in the morning?"

"I wanted to know if you were okay so I pinged your phone-" "You what?! Why on God's name would you do that?" "you weren't home and I got worried but the bigger question is what are you doing here?" she asked and in that moment John came it "what's going on sweetie who's at the door?" "Amor I love you but you have bad timing sometimes." "Nolan you are sleeping with my kid? She's 21 years old. Shes a baby!" my mom said. John looked very scared so I jumped in "I am not a child I am a grown adult who happen to be with someone older then me and it gives you no right to torment him at work just because I am dating your Rookie, got it?" I said hoping she'd understand. "Mom?" "Alraight but if he hurts you that will be his last day on earth." She stared John down with that comment. "Harper I wouldn't even dream of hurting her" he said while snaking his arms around my waist. She seemed like she wanted to murder him. "Okay okay but don't PDA infront of me got it?" "Got it" we said in uinon. She walked away and I closed the door. "So how many pushups do you think you'll have to do before she's satisfied?" I ask. "Oh my love there isn't a number that will satisfy her, I am dating her one of her daughters so I will get pushups till my Rookie year is over. Now its 4 am in the morning do you wanna go back to sleep or...?" he asked with a smile. "Oh I like your thinking Mr. Nolan." I said and took his hand and led him the bedroom where we kissed and closed the door.

[andnatiabrosca]

so uh starting the hissing wastes with cadash while tipsy & having difficultibg regulatng attenuton is. bad idea. i play just now too many hours (4? math.) and now No Sleep because need to learn Dwarf Lore. and forgot about actual plotm . who cares about coryhphes. who cares about solas. i want to know why dwarves went surface before blight and wether its tied with the titans / fall of titans from the city of the old gods as suggested by cole in the fade. also why is all the good stuff in this game hidneed under 15 laters of annoying. give more dwarf please. less fighting in the dark cant see computer chugs along from veilfire. also why veilfire. it makes my computer have a fit. why do I need to learn about dwarf in veilfire. go away. also maps. stop giving maps and do more quest markers its dark all the time I cant see where the meap goes and its so hard to pick anyrhtong out even in OK light because color ddifferentiateing is hard. game devs please give us "i have great color vision but bad discernment" please. i want to emjoy games and do the puzzles and sutff but it feels like Im just stumbling into answers all the time. also how does reading the old dwarven work with non cadashes? cand they read it? do you need varric? are we taking it as a game mechanic or does it say somehtibg about the anchor and dwarf, if the anchor lets you read olsd dewef. what did I actually want ro say here? who knows. gut shabbos and uh dont recommend plum wine if you dont wanns be tipsy. im gonna have a headache. the wine was local and really good (a gift from myne aunt) ttho. but I never drink except for little sip for shabbos and now. neoe drank too much.

[theatrekidstatus]

Chapter 4: TW:too much rizz and s/h (fr)

Y/n pov: i wake up and I'm the first one I hide Greg and get changed into this

Not the book,candle,phone, "cute fit" "thanks" i turn around and see

"can-t sa-y th-e sa-me" god why did I try to be a smart mouth "can't say much can you" (a/n:bully rizz) "🙄" "no finger?" "🖕🏾" "nah I ment your ring finger" "smo-oth" "like your lips" "ok ca-lm do-wn" "shit my bad" "you're good" "aww there flirting" lin took a pic of us "what the fuck are you doing" "nothing" "can we get breakfast" "sure" "WAIT WHERE IS MY BONNET" jazzy yells "probably in Africa by now" nea says "for real" I add (bonnets are the real Ops)"oh there it is" "everyone get dressed we're getting food" "cool" everyone got dressed up and we went to Waffle House (a/n:shut up) Im getting waffle,bacon,grits, "y'all isn't that waiter kinda cute" jazzy ask

"ooooh jazzy's crushing" "🖕🏽" "hey that's mine thing" the waiter comes over "hello pretty ladies what might you be ordering" "can I get eggs and waffle" pippa asks "can I get bacon eggs and a waffle" nea asks "waffle,bacon,grits,please" jazzy looking at him like a dork "ma'am" "huh" "what would you like" "your number" she whispers "excuse me" "grits and bacon please" "ok "aww" "shut up" 25 minutes later "jazz call your boyfriend over" pip says "oh he's coming over" "ah shit" jazzy wipes food off her faces and puts lip stick back on "do I look ok" "👍🏾" "good" "are you pretty girls ready for the check" "yeah" "oh I think you need this" he puts the plate shit in the middle and gave jazzy a napkin we got to the car "jazzy there something right here" "wait do y'all that's why he gave me the napkin" "🤷🏽‍♀️" "ugh" she pulls it out and squeals "what happened" "he wrote his number on the napkin" "eee" we all squeal "omg he heard me" "damn" "shush y/n this a good thing jazz" nea said we make it back to the theatre "how was y'all food" Lin ask "good" "we all said "jazzy left with a new boyfriend" "I did that shit" "for real twin" "we got 5 hours till rehearsal so let's just chill - and no you can't go back to sleep" "ughhh" we said "wait I saw the cutest puppy on insta imma show y'all" "k" "cool" "sure" I get on my search thing and I see Lin posted it was me and ant "favorite couple" was the caption "🙄" I check the comments "she's so ugly" "he could do better" "ant I thought we were better than this" "she's so fugly" "man Ramos check my dm's you'll move on real quick" I throw my phone and run to the back I took my bag i was crying so hard "I check my bag I found my old blade I was gonna throw it away but it looked REAL helpful right about now I held it to my wrist I hear  long repetitive loud knocks" "y/n please you've been clean for so long please please please the comments aren't true your beautiful and I love you I'll delete the post and all the comments please" Lin cried through the door while trying to break the door "y/n please I love you" I hear it was ... ant he loves me I stand up and open the door Lin ran and hugged me "I love you don't ever scare me like that" I just start crying "let it out sh sh sh let it out come on" he picks me up "y/n are you ok" the girls ask "mhm" I Mutter "today has been a stressful day so everyone can leave and head to my apartment to check on y/n" at the apartment "wait did you want people over DONT LIE" "yeah I love them" "ok..." "I hear a knock at the door" "you're the only without a car yet you're here first and you brought gifts" "can I see her" "sure" "I look up it's ant" "hi do you want some chocolate?" "Hell yeah" he snickers "so you... love me" he looks down "I think so" "I think I LIKE you " "really" "yeah" "do we date now?" "Can we" "sure" he had a little smile "you smile is so cute" "thank you" "look how the table have turned I use to be the nervous one" "I'm not nervous" "what happened to the boy whit w rizz and confidence" he's right here" "wha-" im cut of by his lips on mine I just look at him "im sorry" and ran away Lin came in and I told him everything "I'll call him" "no lin please" "ok" everyone came over and I  said everything from the comments to ant "yn/n I'm sorry"  "it's ok it's been a hard day I kinda wanna eat and sleep" "oh of course" "I'm sorry" "DONT say sorry it's just boundaries" "let's go ya'll" "k" they all left "I made your favorite" "thank you chef Lin" I eat it and the food was really good I hop in bed and sleep my ass off.

Anthony Ramos pov: I wake up i notice y/n is up she's not at my side I go to the bathroom and get ready I see y/n I saw "cute fit" "thanks" "can-t sa-y th-e sa-me"  "can't say much can you" "🙄" "no finger?" "🖕🏾" "nah I ment your ring finger" "smo-oth" "like your lips" "ok ca-lm do-wn" "shit my bad" "you're good" "aww there flirting" lin took a pic of us "what the fuck are you doing" "nothing" "can we get breakfast" "sure" "WAIT WHERE IS MY BONNET" jazzy yells "probably in Africa by now" nea says "for real" y/n added "oh there it is" "everyone get dressed we're getting food" "cool" everyone got dressed up and we went to Waffle House oak was talking bout his plan too ask pippa same with davved and nea "Ramos when are you gonna ask out middle" "WHO?" "y/n" he whispered "ohhh idk why'd you say middle" he just 🖕🏿 me "ohh" "yeah" "y'all are grown men and can't talk to your crush" Chris chimed in "I can't imagine not dating your crush" groff says as he touches Lins hand "yeah baby" "get a booth"

A little later

"how was y'all food" Lin ask "good" "we all said "jazzy left with a new boyfriend" "I did that shit" "for real twin" "we got 5 hours till rehearsal so let's just chill - and no you can't go back to sleep" "ughhh" we said "im so tired I tell the guys" "same" "for real" "yeah" I see y/n running away crying "what happened we ask the girls" "we don't know" i pick up her phone and read some strange comments i was nauseous i show them and Lin said "on no" we run after Lin he dose long repetitive loud knocks" "y/n please you've been clean for so long please please please the comments aren't true your beautiful and I love you I'll delete the post and all the comments please" Lin cried through the door while trying to break the door I was so upset I just yell "y/n please I love you" everyone looked at me and tears down my face as i didn't hear anything from her she and opened the door Lin ran and hugged her "I love you don't ever scare me like that" she just started crying "let it out sh sh sh let it out come on" he picked her up "y/n are you ok" the girls ask "mhm" she muttered Mutter "today has been a stressful day so everyone can leave and head to my apartment to check on y/n at the apartment" "you're the only without a car yet you're here first and you brought gifts" "can I see her" "sure"  "hi do you want some chocolate?" "Hell yeah" he snickers "so you... love me" i look down "I think so" "I think I LIKE you " "really" "yeah" "do we date now?" "Can we" "sure" he had a little smile "you smile is so cute" "thank you" "look how the table have turned I use to be the nervous one" "I'm not nervous" "what happened to the boy whit w rizz and confidence" he's right here" "wha-" im cut of by his lips on mine I just look at her "im sorry" and ran away

[chrissypoox2]

R U N A W A Y 🖤 Chapter 2

Pairing: Bangchan x Female reader

Genre: Fluff 

Word Count: 1,088 

a/n: So ive deiced to turn this into a 4 chapter series buut i actually odnt know how im gonna end iy anyways enjoy. (This chapter might seem weird because im switching up the plot a bit, from what the orginal is supposed to be) 

TW: Alcoholism

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You wake up in the morning feeling next to you. Chan had already left for work, and even though he said this weekend was his weekend off he still left to go to the studio. He was a determined person when it came to getting things done. Which was no surprise. You get out of bed and head to the washroom to ready yourself for the long day ahead. You're still thinking about the little runaway date and want to make sure everything is perfect for when the date is official. 

Sometime next week should be good. He is on holiday break all week so the date could last longer than just one day. 

You got on your computer and worked on the date for almost 4 hours before you finished the draft plan from the date. Looking up venues and restaurants and budgeting with whatever you got from your job was a tedious task. Your phone rings and when you look it's Chan. You pick up your phone and answer.

"Hey babe, what are you up to right now." Chan started conversations where he was all sweet and then ended up asking you to bring things to the studio for him. He is sweet regardless but he does go the extra mile to butter you up.

"Nothing much just playing games. Why? Do you need me to bring you something?" You knew Chan forgot something why else would he call you?

"Haha no I didn't forget anything I genuinely just wanted to check up on you"

Awwwee how sweet, but there has to be a catch this 

"Oh okay, well I'm fine. How are things at the studio?"

"The studio?" Chan sounded a bit confused by your remark.

"Yeah isn't that where you went? That's why you left early this morning? I assumed you were just at the studio working on music?"

"No actually the others and I are in Busan right now for a promotional, I just wanted to call to also tell you I won't be back home till tomorrow morning. So you don't have to worry about dinner tonight just make sure you eat and sleep well k?"

MORE TIME TO PLAN WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED HELL YEAH 

"Oooh okay, don't worry about me I'll be okay."

"Alright call me if you need anything. love you" 

"Will do, I love you too. Bye." You hang up the phone and get up to eat something, at the pace you working at you could get this done by the afternoon and pick up a couple of quick and easy commissions to do for some extra change. 

You continue your day as normal after finishing the date and also setting the budget. You're on your way to a babysitting commission, but it's on the part of the town that you are not familiar with. You look down at your phone and continue to follow the route. You look up with it saying that you've arrived and the house looks sketchy, but you're getting $75 for watching the kids for only 2hrs, it was a good deal and one that you couldn't easily pass up on. You knock on the door and some old guy who recks of alcohol opens. 

"y/n?" the man looks at you squinting his eyes and chugging down a beer. 

"Yes! Hello Sir, I'm here to babysit-" The man rolls his eyes and interrupts.

"Yeah, I know, come inside please." You walk in hesitantly and the man continues to give you instructions.

"I'll be out for 2 hours the kids are sleeping but when they get up there is food in the fridge in containers with their names on it. Our dog is in the backyard and isn't allowed in the house. He leaves a weird smell. If you need anything my number is on the fridge door. If my wife gets home don't leave her here with the kids. She needs her sleep after a long day of work. Also here.." the man hands you half of the payment while standing there. 

"Here is the first half, I'll give you the rest when I get back. Have fun." and with that, the man left. You didn't wanna assume where he might've been off to, but when you continued into the house it was messy and he was so worried about the dog leaving a smell, the house smelled bad already. You wanted to go the extra mile even if they didn't tip you for it and clean up the house just a bit. 

-TIME SKIP- 

an hour had passed by and you got the smell out of the carpet, the dishes were clean, and you lit a couple of candles you found and organized the bookshelves and the Cds. The kids' toys were all neatly packed away. You even did some yardwork too just for the heck of it. Then the door opened and you had assumed it was the wife. You walked to the door to greet whoever came but you were met with a strange man. 

"Hey you, do you know where the owner of the house went? Tall dude, black hair that's up the ear length, he has a mole on his right cheek?" You weren't sure what to say, so you didn't say anything, you just nodded no. The man looked disappointed but left after standing there for a couple of seconds he left. As soon as he left you went and locked the door, and with that, you locked all other points of entry. 

They better give me more than $75

The wife came home and the kids woke up, you played some games with them to keep them occupied and cooked some popcorn so they could enjoy their movie. It made you wonder what married life would be like with Chan. It would be wonderful for sure.

The father came home and gave you the money with a $50 tip for cleaning and handling the strange man and told you not to worry about it when you brought it up. The next commission was also babysitting but it was in a completely other part of town. 

-TIME SKIP- 

It was about 9 pm when you finished your commissions. You did a total of 5 commissions and were able to make $700, which would be more than enough for your trip on top of what you're already putting in. 

You finally get home and you are so exhausted that you fall asleep as soon as you touch the couch. 

TO BE CONTINUED

[n0ct0urn1quet]

all excluding 11

THANK U PEEPR!!!!!! mwah mwah mmmwaaahh .... <- me kising u :)

Age : img not telling u <33 (u already know so SJDJKG) Sexuality : UH. UHhhhhmmmmmm. maybe a lesbian? maybe? probably?? i think so Pronouns : tbh. idk. i go by xe and it too but i kinda rly just wanna go by she/her now SDJKKJG Are you in school? : no lmao Nationality : a. american </3 Sun sign : aries, apparently Rising sign : pisces, apparently Moon sign : uh. fuckin idk. taurus ig? Myers briggs type : I ODnt know i don rember Do you have siblings? : 4 <333 2 older brothers n 2 older sistrs :3 Godly parent : what Dream job : idfk. as long as it pays good idc If you could live anywhere, where would you live? : anywhere but here <3333 probably with u somewhere in texas or in anothr state or something idc! Do you have any pets? : i hgave. cat :) Who do you live with? : my mom (and my cat) </3 Whats your favourite piece of clothing you own? : bgbguhhhhh i have this one green sweatr that has. a drawing of plants on the front in white. i think its cute :) Relationship status : taken!!!!! duh!!!!!!!! JKDKJJKG Favourite book? : hgeh waror cat :3 (i dont have a favorite book but wc is my favorite. book series!) Last movie you watched? : uhhh. fight club i think? its pretty good ,, we should watch it somtime :) Last song you listened to? : there's a place by red vox ,,, is good song <3 How many hours of sleep did you get last night? : like. 5. went to bed at like 3 n was Up at 8/9 so SDJKJKG How long have you had tumblr? : this acc is only 2ish years old or so (maybe more) but ive been Using tumblr sinc like. 2018 lol Do you play any instruments? : yehag :) i only rly play piano anymore but i stil kinda play ukulele and i wanna learn how to play acoustic guitar again , What was the last video game you played? : roblox .... (specifically warrior cats ultimate edition bc. yknow) Whats your favourite album? : right now its afterthoughts by red vox i am fuckinf obsessed with it and havent listened to anyuthing else besides MAYBE panic at the disco but thats abt it. red vox my BELOVED How many languages can you speak? : 1. lol. i cant fluently speak any othr languages besides knowing a handful of norwegian words from my eddsworld tord kinnie phase.... *shudders* Do you like chewing gum? : yeghhahg :) Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate? : hot choccy ,,, White, milk or dark chocolate? : white :3

tumblr is rly not enjoying me answering these asks so im just gonna go ahead n post these in segments so heres. the first part of asks JKDSKJG

[officialkatie]

decided all my vents are gonna be tagged so if you don’t want them on ur dash block the tag

it is midnight. it is monday. i am pmsing terribly. i have to be up in six hours to go do school observations i don’t want to do but have to do and im nervous. going back to my high school makes me nervous. its different and some people i went to high school with work there and that’s nice for them but i don’t want to see them. i had fun in high school but i don’t associate it well now. i don’t want to be a teacher anymore. it makes me sick to think about going to a school especially my old school. i outgrew it but i need to go back so i can finish this degree. i feel like my insides are being scraped by a cheese grater. and im hot and itchy and im going to cry about nothing and i am just alone. no one to help me. it is midnight i got 4 hours of sleep last night coming back from a vacation i didn’t want and i didn’t enjoy. it wasn’t a vacation. it was horrible. i don’t understand why my family doesn’t like me. i try and they exclude me and still treat me like a little kid. im 23. not that you’d know bc you all always forget my birthday. you belittled my excitement at going to the aquarium and made it not fun for me. i love you but i don’t like you. you ruined what little joy there was left in that trip by taking over like you always do. i didn’t want to go. i know im pmsing but that doesn’t make it any less bad. i’m scared to go tomorrow. i don’t know what room is where anymore and im going to be exhausted from not sleeping bc im too anxious. im going to have cramps. i have class until 10pm tomorrow. i want to work in the aquarium to make people happy the way i should have been. im the one walking behind everyone else on the sidewalk when all i’ve done my entire life is be nice. if i died they would never know. “oh we loved katie” not in any way you showed. all you did was show me that you loved yourselves. its 12:10 now and my hips hurt from pms and sitting in the car for 30 hours. i hate this career path. i don’t want to be a teacher. its not too late for me i know i have time for careers and actual real love and it will come but 12:10 monday morning 5 hours and 50 minutes before my alarm i am sick and i cannot see the sun. the time of feeling good is not in sight. this week is going to be so hard. i don’t even want to go to museum wednesday anymore. i don’t find joy in it im tired im hormonal. i will feel better but not now. i have no joy this week. looking forward to nothing except its end. what kind of sadness is that i don’t even have the joy of the mundane its just dragging. the best part of the week will be friday afternoon. i will nap. i will have less hormones. i will have another paycheck for one day of work but it will be mine. i have no weekend to look forward to but the absence of responsibilities will be there. then a presentation tuesday. and then a movie thursday. it will all suck until it doesn’t and tgen i can rest but until tgen i will have (?). the sleep i get tonight and tomorrow and Wednesday. maybe i’ll be better by then.

[serpentthecrow]

Today's gonna be fun

Edit: omgf Idk if I am stupid but the first episode just might come out in precisely an hour and 1 minute if my math's not wrong. I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS.

Edit ep.1: so. I just finished that. Damnnn okay. I can already tell this will indeed be the best game adaptation of all time. If I didn't see the visuals at the Sarah scene (yk what I mean) I would think I am listening to the cut-scene in the game and not a life-action adaptation of it. The acting is fucking unimaginably great and Ellie is just unbelievably cracking me up. Casting Pedro Pascal as Joel should be rewarded by the Nobel prize for perfection tbh. I love how they kept it true to the game but still added somethin new. Idk how am I supposed to wait till next week, but I will be updating this post after every episode. I it's already obvious to me why this game got so high reviews. And yeah I also cried when I heard the intro soundtrack, almost forgot that.

Ep.2: holy fuck. I love this shit sm. I knew it was gonna happen but Tess stunggg. It was a cute little trick they did there, including her more in the whole episode. The graphics in this show are amazing, so familiar, now just life-action. I am telling you; SHIVERS when I heard the clickers, it was pretty comforting to know what we're afraid of just by hearing it, it was no less scary nonetheless. As always, Ellie's so funny. I always found her personality being so dynamic in the situation she's in. She's both though and humorous. Joel was.. Joel, I think there is nothing to add to that, other than the fact that all of the characters are portrayed amazingly. I have to say, -it sometimes happens that the first episode sets a higher standard and the rest of the show can't keep up- with last of us that didn't happen. It was equally good as the begining. Can't wait for Monday(for the first time in my life)

Ep.3: THIS MF SHOW MAN. the fucking queer joy I felt the whole ass episode, I was smiling sm. Until I wasn't. You see, I like being traumatized the same way, just in a different media. The emotional connection I formed for almost an hour just got smashed. I don't think I even cried more during a show/movie/book. (I cried like that during Crooked kingdom, but I dare say I cried more today). "I am old. I am satisfied. And you were my purpose." I was sobbing. And then when I wiped my face and thought 'okay it's Ellie and Joel again, no more sad shit' it all crumbled with a "-to keep Tess safe". I couldn't fucking breathe. The begining of the episode tho. Ellie fucking slays and so does Joel. When she had her 'dora the explorer' moment I thought 'okay and now there's gonna be a jumpscare and imma shit myself' I DIDN'T EXPECT HER TO GO SO BADASS THO.(to explain, I saw a bigger part of a playthrough of this game years ago, don't remember much and I didn't wanna rewatch for it to feel like the first time). Also, we just saw post-breakout!Joel show some emotions! Hurray! First, he twist his face into a somewhat smile much more than he did before, actually allowing himself to show amusement at Ellie's antics and second, he low-key looks like he's about to actually cry outside the house, but goes to distract himself with something else. That's about it for this ep, just fucking masterpiece. Also YAY SEASON 2! TLOU 2 SPOILER- *idk if to be happy or sad cuz I don't wanna play golf*

Ep.4: so late sorry. Oh my lawd the masters of getting caught in situations of others in action. Can I just say I went "aw that's a cute lady with a very cute voice" and then went "OH OKAY I TAKE IT BACK IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW WHO U WERE" I got pretty much nothing much to say to this one except the begining!!!! I love the scenes in the forest. First, Ellie finally shows she's afraid and Joel sees it's so unlike her that he lies into her face about being safe then and sacrifices his own sleep to make it a truth, at least for one night. Second of all, the cooking scenes. 20 years old ravioli were gold. And then the coffee sceneeeee. "It smells like burnt shit" and then immediate shot on Joel who's SLURPING the coffee so damn loud on purpose. Also the genuinely surprised "you don't like coffee?" Is so me whenever my friends say it. The end tho. "Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?" I COULDN'T BREATHE. and Joel's lil "Jesus" "this is so stupid" was so great. And the GIGGLES. MELTING.

Ep.5: this was a ride. I am so glad it came early, with the anticipatory ending they pulled last week. This was so good. "He just sounds like that, he has an asshole voice" lmao slapped so much. Most of it was pretty calm too, but when Henry said "idk what you're waiting for man. I am the bad guy cuz I did a bad guy thing" I almost YELLED at the screen "YA U DID A BAD THING BUT WITH A GOOD INTENTION". the ending thoooo. I can say I gasped and flipped off my phone when that bigass motherfucker showed up, ripping people apart. Loved the slow motion before he climbed out, the anticipation moments are amazing in this series. Seeing Ellie so afraid, was really new, both from the game and the series. I am not used to such expression of emotions at all. Also love the way Joel covers her and she's dependent on that cover,looking over at him to have her back. He goes 'go, I've got you' pulling tunnel vision on solely her and her savety. And when u think everything is gonna be okay, "when you turn into a monster, is it still you inside?" I CRIED. The way Ellie doesn't show her fear, the way she's strong for Sam but the way she tries her best to save him. She's told she's special, told she's the cure so she tries to save him. And it fails. I WANTED TO JUMP THROUGH THE SCREEN AND HUG HER THE WAY SHE CRIED. In the end, Kathleen was low-key right. My babes looked fresher than ever after digging two graves tho. "I'm sorry"- Ellie is feeling useless. Contemplates what is this 'imune' shit for anyway when she can't save the people she wants to save. Joel the master of miscommunication pulls a 🤨🤨🤔 and doesn't say shit. They are both just incredibly emotionally constipated.

[regulationlistener]

a sort of continuation of the tags on the fictional death post, while not a death per say, the time i cried most at a movie was when i watched straight outta compton, it starts with this like compilation of police brutality, basically, and i think its purpose is sort of to set the scene of why a song like fuck the police would exist and be a big deal, for people who are ignorant. but it was like five minutes long and i just immediately started just full sobbing, like i was worried other people in the theater would hear me even though there was probably only 5-10 other people in there. and i remember my girlfriend at the time was like “???? are you okay?” and im like “are you not watching the same thing i am”

i guess it balanced out though cause at the end of the movie when that one guy died i was out of tears and probably massively dehydrated so i just watched it with a straight face and she was sobbing and shes like “why arent you crying. whats wrong with you.” and im like “im drinking a dr pepper dude you think i can make tears with this. im out of em.”

in a similar vein in 2020 there was a compilation video going around of police brutality again and i thought, i should watch this to see whats going on, and then i cried for maybe 3 or 4 hours straight, went to sleep, got up, started crying again, went to work, and was there for maybe two hours before i had to go home because i couldnt stop crying for longer than 30 minutes. i was out of commission for like two full days.

anyway im also notorious for crying at parts of movies that im obviously not supposed to cry about. ive cried more than once at the climax of the movie footloose [a scene in which everyone in the town that outlawed dance starts dancing, for reference]

what im saying is i cry a lot and often and also a lot of the times for no particularly good reason [though the first half of this post is a very good reason even though it was helpful for anyone, least of all me] so its always weird to me when people pit crying as some master manipulator tactic when for some people its just a very common unwanted and sometimes unwarranted response. not that it cant be manipulative but Not Always, is what im saying.

yesterday i cried because i was frustrated at my job and couldnt fix my machine. the day before i started crying because i was tired and also earlier in the day i cried cause one of my coworker friends is about to get fired. i cried once cause i was looking at a sunset. like i cry a lot. i dont really like it, its usually not helpful, but its something i do probably three or four days out of the week.

one thing thats weird is that my mom, for example, thinks i cry less now than when i was a kid - cause you can imagine if i have this problem now, when i was a kid it was a lot worse - but its not really that i cry less its just that as an adult i get to be alone sometimes and as a kid i wasnt ever really allowed to just be alone. like less than ten years old im talking. and maybe it was because i did cry often but usually when i was a kid and crying people acted like i was doing it on purpose, which is so crazy cause even then i Didnt Want to be crying.

i specifically remember one time my mom was whipping me with a belt, which didnt often happen, and i dont remember what i did but i remember that i was crying, cause i was in trouble and getting hit and i was probably 6-8 years old, and my mom said “stop crying, its not gonna make me feel bad” like. as if thats not a natural emotional response from a kid getting hit. like what a wild fucking thing to think.

[aphrorite]

-ˏˋ sweetheart diaries ˊˎ- #6 !! 💫🧸📔

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡༘

⋆ ✧₊ june 5th 2022 📝💛🍰 ⊹ɞ

oh diairy i m not feleing too well ): i am very sad and tbis is one day aff ter i snuck out bcos i feel sad ,, )):

tw vent // vent regression

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

im rewrite this morning later bcos i was 2 sad to write last night n couldn finish sentence...

idk i jus. super sad diary,, im hug bear as i write this bos he comfor but he also kinda col so i hope i warm him up w blankie

i jus really sad. i am. i hate m ocd and i feel totally homebound. it make me concerned for finances, even necessity like buying food, watar, or rshampoo, i cant make decisions bcos my mind love to destroy it... and it hard to cope w my ocd bcos i used to handle it for 5 years but now that i kno i really hav it an im diagnose... grade drop n everything TT

they say med start work 3 month but idk if i can suffer tht long w this silly thing. the medicine was good for 2 week then back 2 normal which is inconsistent n unstabl.

so m guess i shoul apply 2 some jobs to see where it take me. i appli to one shoe place already but they enver call back, same go for grocery store. maybe something wron with my resume ? or mayb the opportunity jus not for me, im guess. i told myself id apply to som more so mayb i should do that.

im also jus.. really sad bcos unrequited feeling. last stranger thing hangout w guy i sorta like,, he kept saying stuff i didn like cos i got jealou of the chars and i hate dat bc its rocd tellin me im gonna lose him when its. a. fictional char!!! no one really understand ocd either )): i cant just 'stop overthinking' or 'relax' whch in the moment it helped but it always come back.

so that night (friday night) after he elft call i went out n snuck out. i wore my plaid skirt, my long adidas sweater n stocking so socks = quiet footstep, and was out for an hour ish,,,. i wasnt suppos to but i really didn know hwho to talk to so i .. call my ex, and he listened. he listened even though ir eall y hate him but also dont.

jus walking on the road at 3 am, freezing cos it was 8c in summer, n staring up at the sky at the million of star. i hav never seen them so bright before and it was mesmerizing, but i felt so alone. i like going outside at night alone bcos no one there but this time? i felt alone w my pain.

so i fcalled him, start cryin, end up at the park, laid down on the field and.. stared at the stars. curled up,, talked about my pain,, cried,, and cried,, bcos it was painful 2 say it cos i nevert old anyon before, and then he had 2 go, so then i ran home crying,,, got in bed around 5 am,, did some astronomy sites becos i took some photo and wanted to see wht constellation they were, and went asleep around 7 am.

im sad diary. whenev i go on walk alone outside, it like a relapse to me. idk if it a compulsion becaus, i DO wanna go outside walk alone bcos its nice and i can breathe and restore my energy, but also not good becaus i fee l like i betray god and my family, which is the obsessive intrusive thought. i mean when i go outside ther eis nothing forcing me to except for my mind syain, ''cmon, youw anted to, heres your chance'', etc. so im not sure.

but its over now i guess... i am not very content. because i dont like my ex despit venting, its just bcos he'll listen. idk i am very conflicted when it comes to him, and then i looked him up and saw his new ex,, and it made me laugh becbaus it look like just his type, no wonder.. no. wonder. seeing her sort of made me inadequate, but u cannot compare apples to bananas. we r not the same.

it wa hard.. tryignt o make myself feel bettter. i mnage to try and organize my seagate file ,, tried playing sims 2 before realizin all my data was deleted ,, ): ,,, but reinstalled sims 4 and let it install over night while i sleep.

m gonna write how my past week was n then do to do list.

sory diary ): bear luv u lots. so do unicorn.

╭┈─────── urs truly, ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈➤ sweetheart xx