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livingdreams97 · 2 years

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Emily Dickinson- "The past comes back" (part 4)

Emily Dickinson x fem! reader/oc

Summary: An old friend of Lavinia's returns to Amherst after years out of town and not seeing each other. But what happens when Lavinia's friend turns out to be not only her friend, but two more girls and one of them turns out not to remember her.

Words: 4.642

Masterlist

NOTE: If you see any spelling mistake im sorry, english is not my first lenguage and i try to do it the best possible.

Emily's POV

It's been two weeks since I last met Y/n at Sue and my brother's party. She hasn't been to my house one day and it's always Lavinia who goes to her house to spend time with her.

So she don't have to stop by our house and see me. I tried to go to her house to talk to her, but I don't know where her house is and I don't want to ask Vini or Sue ; because they would ask.

They will want to know why I am asking about her house and what I want to talk to her about. But I don't want to tell you that Y/n disappeared from the party because I admitted not remembering her and because of the argument we had.

Lavinia warned me from the beginning not to tell her, to act as if I knew her and to avoid at all costs admitting my lack of memories with or of her. Even when Sue found out about my memory loss, she suggested that I follow my sister's plan and not tell her the truth.

So if either of them finds out I argued with her and ended up telling her the truth, they'll kill me. I'm not entirely sure if Sue would kill me, but the one I'm sure would kill me is Lavinia.

My sister expressed to me the importance of not telling her, since Y/n held me in such a esteem and told me that when we were children she adored me. That's why I couldn't tell her, because it would hurt her a lot to know that I didn't remember her and that's exactly what ended up happening.

I feel incredibly guilty about it, I am not able to write feeling the anguish in my chest and the continuous emptiness due to a longing that I do not fully understand.

Besides that since my publication in the newspaper and the delivery of all my poems to Samuel, I have not been able to write a single thing. My mind is blank, the words no longer flow and I feel like a dry water well.

So I'm completely attacked, lost even and I don't know what to do to get out of this misfortune. My mother had even taken us to a spa to relax and try to make me feel better. But it hardly had any effect on me. The only good thing about that trip was seeing my friend George again.

Adding to all my problems, I think in a ghostly way I saw as Sue ; my Sue , had sex with Samuel. I don't understand how she could do something like that to me, after everything we've been through together and almost forcing me to have feelings for him.

Betrayed would be saying little for how I feel. My whole world collapses and I can't stop thinking about Sue and Samuel having sex, and the image of the little girl bleeding.

I'm sure that image is a memory, a memory of Y/n and how she got the scar on her eyebrow. But I can't check with anyone first because I don't know where Y/n and I doubt she'll want to talk to me, second because Lavinia asked me more about how the memory came to me, and lastly, I'm not going to ask Sue anything .

Lavinia: Are you okay? - she asks me taking me out of my thoughts and calling my attention.

Emily: Yeah, just that I was thinking and stuff.- i shrugged it off by looking at her. -Where are you going ? - I ask confused to see her ready to leave the house.

Lavinia: Where are we going, you mean?- she answers somewhat confused.

Emily: I don't understand what you mean by we.- I comment and she looks at me like I'm stupid.

Lavinia: It's the baptism of Jane's son.- She reminds me and I pat myself on the forehead.

Emily: I had forgotten.- I whisper, exhaling hard. -But it doesn't matter at all because I'm not going, I don't feel good to go and pretend interest in something as simple as a baptism.- I assure her, getting up from my desk and approaching her.

Lavinia: Okay, we're leaving now and we'll be back later.- She tells me, shrugging her shoulders and I nod in understanding.

Emily: Well, we'll see each other later.- I say goodbye and my sister walks out the door, closing it once outside.

I sigh when I'm alone in my room again and I scan the place with my eyes as if it were the first time. But as I look around the closet, something catches my eye and I focus my gaze on my closet.

I stare at it from top to bottom, trying to find what has caught my attention and finding myself with a slightly raised floorboard. I approach cautiously, kneeling on the floor and touching the protruding part of the board with the fingers of my right hand.

I lift it up a bit and when nothing comes out from under it to attack me I fully lift it up all the way. I set the small board aside and reach into the hole unceremoniously. As soon as I reach in, my fingers brush against something soft yet rough and I immediately know what it is.

I wrap my hand around the papers and, careful not to tear them, pull them out of the hole. I sit back on my heels, laying the cards on my lap and seeing that they are addressed to me. Completely confused, I sit on the floor with my back against the closet and decide to open the first letter.

I take the paper out of the envelope, finding myself with a somewhat irregular and difficult to read handwriting. I inspect the handwriting carefully, realizing that it must be a child's and remembering when I used to write the same way.

But when I see the date on which the letter is dated, I open my eyes completely surprised and decide to read it. The letter is from 13 years ago, it is dated October 25, 1842.

Letter

Dear Emily,

Hello again Emily, I write to you like every week to tell you what I have done and the things I have seen. In addition to telling you how much I miss you and how much I want to go home.

I miss Sue so much , Vini and even Austin. Of course I miss you a lot too, because you are you and you are the most amazing person in the world. But today has been incredible.

Dad had the day off from college and we went to something called the beach. Can you believe it; the beach. Although maybe you don't know what it is and you don't understand what I mean.

I don't know how to explain it very well, but for you I will try and if you don't understand it you can tell me in your next letter so I can ask my father to explain it for me. The beach is a place with a lot of sand, it is similar to the soil but it is pale in color and weighs much less. Sand is thiner and makes a lot less mess than dirt, although it gets everywhere and is very difficult to remove from clothes.

So avoid the sand. Oh, and it has a sea, the beach has a sea and people bathe in it. But not bathing like we do at home with soap, they just get in the water and wave their arms and legs for something called swimming. I'm not sure but father says that the sea water is salty and that it is good for the body. And Dad said he's going to teach Amber , Brandom and me how to swim when he's free.

Can you believe it ? I'm going to learn to swim and go into the sea. Mama says that the sea is part of the ocean and that they are very, very, very big. It also says that there are many animals in the sea and that some are as big as your favorite tree.

But still Cambri or whatever this place is called is not the same as Amherts . You're not here and neither are Sue and Vini . I get bored without you, my brothers don't want to play ladder like we do and they say our games are boring.

Can you believe it? Our games are not boring and they are dumb.

I miss swinging from the rope in my garden, we don't have a rope here and father said to try to get one. But it won't be the same because you won't be there to push me.

Did you finally do it ? Did you move your table in front of the window like I had it ? Isn't it much more fun to do homework looking out the window ?

I look forward to receiving your responses and I look forward to hearing from you about your adventures of the week.

With lots of love,

Y/n Harvard

End of the letter

Emily: Oh my god.- I mutter, surprised, covering my mouth at the end of the first letter.

This is real, she really was my friend and by the way she wrote to me at only 10 years old makes it clear to me that she really cared about me. I don't understand why the cards where hidden, but right now I'm glad they were saved and that I was able to find them.

Who knows, maybe my mother or even myself would have thrown the cards away as if they weren't important and I wouldn't have physical proof that Y/n and I were really friends.

I watch as a drop falls to the paper, surprising me and making me frown in confusion . I bring a hand to my face and my fingers meet my wet cheeks. I'm surprised, since I don't know when I started to cry and I don't understand how I didn't realize it before.

I wipe away my tears, looking up and meeting my desk directly. I smiled helplessly, reminding myself at 12 years old moving the table towards the window and now I understand why I did it.

I return my gaze to the letters and begin to read them one by one. Looking at the date before, so I can read them in chronological order and avoid getting confused about what they say. As I read the sixth letter with an amused smile, someone knocks on my door and I immediately stop reading.

Emily: Who is it? - I ask and the door opens revealing Maggie 's head.

Maggie : You'd be interested to know that the newspaper man just got out of his carriage.- She tells me and I open my eyes completely surprised.

Emily: Really?- I ask hopefully, getting up from the floor and leaving the letters on my desk.

Maggie : Yes.- She answers me in the affirmative.

Emily: Good, because I'm going to demand my poems back from him and he won't leave without giving them back to me.- I assure her and quickly go down to the first floor with her behind me .

Maggie : I think it's very good, miss.- She supports me with a smile.

As soon as I'm done going downstairs, I hear someone knocking on the door and I walk towards it to open it. As soon as I open it I find a smiling Samuel, who doesn't wait for me to invite him and goes straight into the house.

Samuel: The house seems calm.- He comments and I look at Maggie for a few seconds.

Maggie : If the family has gone out to a baptism.- She tells him and I close the door. -It's a quiet Sunday and my day off.- she tells him and I walk two steps away from the door.

Samuel: I don't even rest on Sundays, the news doesn't rest and therefore neither do I. - He answers with a superior smile, taking off his hat and cleaning it with his hand.

Someone knocks on the door again, but this time Maggie walks towards it and opens it while I decide to ask her the reason for her presence in my house.

Emily: What are you doing here ? - I ask about his sudden presence in my house.

Samuel: I'm leaving and I've come to say goodbye to the family.- He replies by leaving his hat on the chair at the entrance. -Anyway, I'm starving.- he says and I look at him confused. -Do you have something I can eat ? - asks the redhead next to me.

Maggie : There will be plums in the kitchen.- She answers him directly, closing the door of the house and he looks at her strangely.

Samuel: You don't have roast beef ? - he asks and I see the disgusted gesture that my maid makes.

Maggie : I'll go see.- she replies without much encouragement. -I think you already know where Miss Lavinia's room is, right?- I hear someone say and I turn to meet the person I wanted to see.

Y/n: Yes, don't worry Maggie .- she assure her with a small smile. -I'll leave the shawl in her room and I'm leaving.- she comments and looks up, meeting mine .

Emily: Y/n.- I whisper without taking my eyes off her.

Y/n: Excuse the intrusion.- she says and walks by my side starting to go up the stairs.

Emily: Prevent her from leaving at all costs.- I whisper to my maid and she nods.

Maggie : If you'll excuse me, I'll go see what I can bring this man to eat.- She apologizes and walks towards the kitchen with the laundry basket in her arms.

Once I am alone with Samuel, I ask him to speak in the living room so that I can retrieve my poems. I plan to avoid looking at it, so that I can't be convinced and keep my poems. He is evil and with his way of looking and talking he deceives everyone.

Y/n's POV

I leave the shawl that Lavinia forgot in my house yesterday on her bed, seeing at least four cats in the room and one of them looks at me badly. I decide to leave the room as soon as possible, to prevent that cat from getting upset and ending up attacking me.

I walk downstairs, careful not to fall and find Maggie pressed against the wall next to the living room. I finish down the stairs and approach her quietly.

Y/n: What are you doing?- I ask in a whisper, leaning forward.

Maggie : Oh for the Lord.- she murmurs with her hand on her chest. -Don't do that.- she claims and I look at her amused.

Y/n: Wait, are you listening to the conversation between Emily and the stuffy guy?- I ask with an evil smile.

Maggie : What? No, of course not.- She denies and when Emily screams she snaps at me, sticking to the wall again.

Y/n: What are they talking about?- I ask interested and placing myself under her in the same position.

Maggie : The stiff is a newspaper publisher, he's the one who published Emily's poem a week ago and she ended up giving him all her poems.- she tells me and I open my eyes in surprise.- But now Miss Emily wants the poems back , but it seems that the gentleman does not want to return them.- He explains to me and I narrow my eyes annoyed.

Emily: Mr. Bowles, do you still have my poems?- I listen as he asks the stiff guy.

Bowles : Of course, I carry them in my bag so I can read them on the train.- he replies and I look at Maggie with open eyes.

I look down, spotting a brown leather satchel on the floor, and look over to the maid for confirmation. When she nods, confirming that the bag on the floor belongs to that guy, I open it quickly, trying to be as quiet as possible, and search inside for Emily's poems.

I find a handful of papers of different sizes and show them to Maggie confirming that they are poems. She smiles back at me and I close the bag back up and we both back away from the wall as the discussion becomes clearer.

Hearing hurried footsteps, Maggie and I run to hide behind the stairs. We see Emily grab the bag off the floor, but Bowles grabs the bag too and starts a tug of war for her.

We watch the little fight in surprise, seeing how the man grabs his hat and runs out of the house with Emily behind him . We leave our hiding place walking calmly towards the entrance, seeing from the door an Emily in the middle of the road and how Mr. Bowles ' cart moves away.

Y/n: Do we tell her now or do we let her bask in her sorrow a little more ? - I ask the maid.

Maggie : Let's leave her a little longer, I'm sure this will inspire her and get something positive out of it.- She answers me and I nod without taking my eyes off the one who was my friend.

We stare at her for a while longer, seeing how she hugs herself and stares at the road where the carriage has disappeared. When I think enough is enough, I whistle to get her attention and when I get it, I gesture for her to come back into the house.

Maggie and I walk back into the house, but she just gives me an encouraging look and disappears into the kitchen. I walk to the living room and decide to wait sitting on the sofa. I hide the poems behind my back and look at the decorations in the room.

Emily: I hate my life.- she growls falling into the seat on my left.

Y/n: I don't think your life is that bad.- I assure her with an amused smile.

Emily: Says the university student whose parents accept and allow her to attend conferences.- She says sarcastically and I look at her raising an eyebrow.

Y/n: And what does that have to do with anything?- I ask confused by her comment.

Emily: Once, only once have I been able to go to a conference and it was because Sue and I dressed up as men.- She tells me and I can't help but laugh at the image that comes to mind.

Y/n: With hat, cane and everything?- I ask somewhat amused and she looks at me with narrowed eyes. -I'll take it as a yes.- I comment, unable to help but laugh.

Emily: I don't want to sound rude or anything like that.- She says, straightening her posture in the chair. -But why are you talking to me? The last time; you said that it was better that we keep our distances.- she asks me and I sigh remembering that night.

I don't think I've ever cried as much in my life as I did that night two weeks ago. Knowing that the person you appreciate the most and with whom you were in love at some point does not remember you is hard. Especially when you have practically grown up with her and you imagined anything for her silence except the lack of memory.

Knowing that Emily didn't even remember me has been hard, especially when the vast majority of my happiest memories were with or around her. And it could be said that her lack of memories has hurt me more than any possible rejection.

Emily: I mean, it's not that I'm not happy that you're talking to me and we're not arguing, but I don't understand.- She speaks quickly and I look at her sad.

Y/n: Somehow I still believe that the best thing is that we have as little relationship as possible.- I say a little sad. -It would be absurd to make you go through a bad time, trying to force you to remember something that for some reason your mind has erased and only for the two weeks that I have left here.- I explain and I see how she shakes her head.

Emily: But it doesn't have to be just two weeks.- She assures me with a gleam of hope in her beautiful brown eyes.

Y/n: I'm leaving in two weeks.- I remind her obviously. -Besides, somehow knowing the truth has liberated me in some way and I no longer feel the guilt I used to have before the thousands of possibilities for your lack of response.- I tell her with a small smile and she makes a face.

Emily: What if we keep in touch this time?- she asks me with hope, looking like an excited puppy and making herself be seen as the cutest thing in the world.

Y/n: We tried it once and it didn't work.- I remember her somewhat sad. -I haven't called you for that anyway.- I explain to leave this conversation behind.

Emily: And may I know why you whistled at me then?- curiously questions and i can see some amusement in her eyes.

Y/n: For this.- I respond by moving my hand behind my back and showing her the handful of his poems.

Emily: No.- she denies completely surprised.

Y/n: Yes.- I confirm looking at the poems in my hand and then at her.

Emily: But how ? What... ?- she asks still in shock.

Y/n: Going down the stairs I found Maggie gossiping and she made me curious.- I begin to explain. -She told me a little about your poems and while you were arguing I stole them from his wallet.- I reply, shrugging my shoulders without giving it much importance.

Emily: You are the best!- She screams excitedly and suddenly jumps on me throwing us to the ground.

Y/n: Ouch .- I growl when my back hits the ground hard.

Emily: You are the best, you are the best, you are the best.- repeats hugging me by the neck; although rather it is suffocating me.

Y/n: Yes, but I need to breathe.- I tell her and she loosens the grip of her arms around my neck.

I simply laying still, holding her poems in one hand and not really knowing where to place the other. After a few moments Emily separates a little from me and her face is inches from mine.

Emily: I remember this.- she whispers in a calm voice, moving one of her arms to delicately touch the scar on my eyebrow. -During the discussion I noticed your scar and when I was alone it was as if an image flooded my mind.- she tells me and I observe how her eyes move all over my face.

Y/n: Em.- I call her but she tells me to shut up.

Emily: Please, let me try to remember you and have you in my life again.- She begs me with some pain in her eyes.

Y/n: I don't know if I can go through it again Em.- I admit with pain and I watch how her eyes travel all over my face again.

Emily: Please.- She asks me in just a whisper, bringing her face closer to mine if possible and making our breaths mix.

I am only capable of swallowing nervously, not fully understanding what is happening and somewhat stunned by her proximity. From one moment to another I feel her lips on mine and I open my eyes completely surprised.

I'm in shock, the girl I had a crush on for a while is all over me and she's kissing me. Well maybe I'll never stop being in love with her, but that's not the case right now. Emily Elizabeth Dickinson is kissing me, I never thought this day would come and less because of the type of society we live in.

So I decide to take a risk and enjoy the moment. I start to move my lips against hers, kissing her back, and move my free hand to rest on the back of her waist.

Emily: The summer of '42.- she whispers suddenly separating from my lips and I open my eyes dazed by the kiss.

Y/n:What? - I ask trying to understand what she means.

Emily: The summer of '42, I fell off the couch playing with Austin and Lavinia and hit my head.- she tells me with her eyes wide open. -I was unconscious for a day and a half, and then it took me a while to identify people for a week.- she remembers, impressed, and now it's me who opens her eyes in surprise.

Y/n: And why did Vini never tell me anything about that?- I ask confused not understanding anything.

Emily: You're talking about Vini , she loves to call and be the center of attention.- She reminds me of a bit of fun.

Y/n: Of course.- I roll my eyes laughing and watch her while she laughs too. –And why mention the fall now? - I ask calling her attention.

Emily: Because I didn't remember it until now.- She answers me with a small grimace. -They have been like flashes, in which my brothers, my parents, Sue and you appeared.- she whispers with a small smile.

Y/n: Wait, are you saying what I think you're saying?- I ask trying to suppress the smile of happiness that wants to escape me.

Emily: What? That I remember you and that this is not the first kiss we give each other?- she asks me raising an eyebrow and looking at me with some suggestion in her eyes.

Y/n: I don't know what you're talking about.- I deny, pretending not to know what kiss she's talking about and feeling my heart beat happily because she reminds me.

Emily: This will make you remember.- she whispers and leans back, bringing our lips together again.

We keep kissing for a while, until we decide it's too risky and that anyone can see us on the floor of her living room. So we end up going to my house, where she decides to spend the night and we create new memories together.

We spent the next two weeks glued to each other and listening to Vini 's complaints about ignoring or leaving her out. The worst thing was saying goodbye, because I didn't know if I'd be back soon or if I'd be back at all.

But as soon as we got back to our house in Cambridge, Father told me and Mother that from Friday to Sunday we would be residing at Amherts . Apparently that was the reason for the trip and so we had to take care of fixing some things in the house.

So that it can be habited again by us. The best part of my father's surprise was when we returned to Amherts that same Friday and I knocked on the Dickinsons ' door to surprise both Emily and Vini .

I even managed to convince my father so that one week a month I would stay alone in the house, with a maid to "take care of me" but alone in the end. Those days were the best of the month, since my friends spent the day with me and Emily stayed the night.

Nights in which we made up for all the lost time and connected as only we did. Emily has been the person I loved, love and will love the most in the whole world and with total security she corresponds to me.

(In this story after Sue slept with Samuel, Emily didn't sleep with her and after the memory kiss Emily and Y/n became a secret couple.)

THE END

#emily dickinson x reader #emily dickinson #emily dickinson x female reader #emily dickinson x fem reader #hailee steinfeld #hailee x reader #hailee steinfield x reader #hailee steinfield x fem reader #emily dickinson x fem oc #dickinson series #love #lgbtq #dickinson #drama #reader #female oc #female reader #oc character

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craw-dacious · 6 months

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Review of made weak by time and fate, but strong in will by dialux

Summary: I really really enjoyed this fic, the characterizations made me actually like the characters like A LOT. Some characters were underdeveloped, but thats alright because it’s such a lily/James focused fic. Ending was good but a little unfulfilling. I do think some of the dramatics and action became more confusing than true plot devices, but it would have gotten very very long with full transitional throughout the book. Criticisms aside, incredibly well written, amazing prose, and truly beautiful symbolism. I read this in about 24 hours.

SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE

Chapter by chapter review, from someone brand spanking new to marauders fics (not harry potter)

Chapter one

Wait why is lily calling him Jimmy is that a thing

This chapter is long asf

I need to read up on how magic works, I know Lily is a super good witch but this seems unrealistic even for her

But also the hurt comfort is going to go crazy I already know

Just leaving your baby and almost dead husband alone in the woods is wild

I sincerely hope Snape still sucks complete ass, I hate him and his little monologue does nothing to help

NO WAND BRUHHHH

Overall: I am currently crying. That poor girls mom is dead. Am I confused about pacing? Yes. Am I cringing at the little “I am Thanatos” line to end it? Yes. But, overall the vibes are fantastic and I’m loving it.

Chapter Two

OMG lightning scar!!1

Thor as a wizard is funny bc im imagining like the marvel actor with a big fat wand

Literally how did they forget about Sirius bruh

Calling him Jimmy is getting on my nervesss like I guess its cute but it just does not fit his vibe

Why am I crying again

“Courage dear heart” my mommy captioned an insta pic of me chopping my hair off with that when i was like 9

Recap: the lightning is throwing me big time, like im so confused by what it means. Seems very symbolic and shit but also cool as fuck for James

Im excited for Sirius to be involved

Chapter 3

Crying again bruh Sirius never found out abt regulus in canon so sad

Recap is just that the fic is fire, I like all the dynamics other than thinking remus is a little underdeveloped and I dont understand the earth magic stuff. Excited to see baby harry again

Chapter 4

Crying AGAIN this regulus bullshit is so sad

Wtf are remus and James up to bruh

Lily is so convincing like she’s a genius

I really want to understand lily more as a character. Had a dream we were friends during my sick nap today and she was just Gracie and I called her a mudblood :/

This ritual magic shit is cool as fuck, im sure its not as prevalent in other marauders fic but its slaying

Remus and Sirius being so gay but not enough brother

Recap:

Huge plot shit,, how could this possibly get wackier sillier love it. (I know it’s like scary I just like the creativeness a lot) worried about Narcissa and craving some redemption/mention of Draco bc Im me. Need to see harry. Need to see harry baby harry

Chapter 5

THEY’D SAY HARRY DID IT I FORGOT IT WAS HER MAGIC THAT KILLED VOLDY

Threatening to raise Malfoy as not racist and it working is insane

James is actually so dumb racism is always bruh

But Severus is stupider how does he think his poetic shit is going down in Lily’s head??

HOW DID SIRIUS NOT DIE

HOW DID NO ONE DIE

No baby harry is criminal. Like actually criminal. Im losing it.

RECAP FULL:

I really really enjoyed this fic, the characterizations made me actually like the characters like A LOT. Still feel like Remus was underdeveloped, but thats alright because it’s such a lily/James focused fic. I do wish we’d had some sort of epilogue, I want baby Harry so badly. I do think some of the dramatics and action became more confusing than true plot devices, but it would have gotten very very long with full transitional throughout the book. Also Lily definitely told Petunia shed leave Harry for a couple days and then was gone for weeks. Like its insane.

Numerical: 8.2/10, lost one full point for "Jimmy"

#marauders #wolfstar #fic rec #fic reviews #jily #lily evans #james potter #peter pettigrew #harry potter #gay shit #remus lupin

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hoeforalbedo · 2 years

Note

zodiac — leo ( im not well informed abt the moon, sun, rising stuff lol )

initials — kw

deck — aphrodite ( second )

personality — both emotionally and materially, i am a genius. big claims, ik but no ones gonna brag for me so ill simply take it upon myself ;) ive also been told that im very conversational w the way i have friends that r all so different, but im also incredibly literal and pretentious so its a small wonder how i dislike people so silently.

im heavily opinionated and enjoy arguing w someone in a way that makes them wish they kept their mouth shut ;) i love material things such as the value of education or money in abundance, it always made me feel sure of myself.

id like tartaglia from gi pls !!

sorry if it was a mouthful, but this was very fun :)

A/N: Shawty I love your attitude I swear. Also I definitely agree with the last paragraph. Having money is like that sort of reward you get after working hard to get where you are. Nothing wrong with having those values for money. I’m a bit materialistic myself.

"It was worth a try."

"I loved you since we were kids."

"Honest feelings and bad timing makes the most painful combination."

Warning: Arguing, Angst no comfort, I’m so sorryyy

You both were once genuinely in love. Key word, was. When both of you got into a relationship, it was much different than being friends. When you guys first met, you were just innocent children you saw the world as nothing but cupcakes and rainbows. That was until Tartaglia fell into the Abyss. When he came back, he was different. No matter how many times he tries to act like his old self, there was always that lack of light in his eyes and all his words were all just lies.

Still, you love him and he said yes because he does have some sort of feelings for you. He knew that he’s still fucked up and he knew the dangers of being involved with you but at the same time, he needs you and so he hid everything. He continued to deny his past and every single day, you wake up to a cold bed and a cold house, wondering, worrying where the fuck he is.

When he’s home, he genuinely tries to make you happy and even when he’s away he would send you expensive gifts. As much as you loved being spoiled by him, what’s the point when he’s not there?

When he left for a whole week, each night you would stay awake in hopes that you’d be able to catch him when he walks through the door and give him the biggest hug. Unfortunately that never happened. As the days past, the more you lacked sleep and the more you lost hope.

The night he finally came back, he caught you in the living room with you back to him. You heard him though. “What type of job takes you a whole week without coming home and always leaving you all bloody and bruised?”

“It’s just some hustle, Y/N. No need to worry,” He laughs it off and once he makes his way in front of you, it was no longer a surprise that he had cuts and bruises and his past scars.

“I don’t understand why that side hustle leaves you coming home on the brink of death,” You say, your voice never changing yet your eyes say all the emotions there is. “Are you part of the fatui?”

“No.”

“Don’t think of me as stupid because I know, Tartaglia.” You know his job is wrong. He may have killed people and that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. You have values and despite your love for Childe, you can’t handle the fact that he’s dangerous.

“So what if I am? Are you going to go like everyone else?”

“Yes.”

“Wait no I can be better. I’ll be better for you! I love you Y/N!” He begs but once your mind is set, there’s no turning back.

“It was worth a try but you need to fix your shit up.” It may have come out very harsh but you didn’t go back on your words.

#genshin impact #genshin x gender neutral reader #childe x reader #Tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #ajax x reader #fatui harbingers #harbinger x reader #genshin x you #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader

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goldengoddess · 3 years

Text

you & the stars - jesper fahey

pairing: jesper fahey x reader

request: Hii Could I request head-cannons for dating Jesper and getting hurt on a job. I love your work so much !!

a/n: thank you so much<3 oh my god i totally got carried away with this,,, this might be one of my favorite things i’ve written holy fuck so self indulgent because i love jesper with every part of me

warnings: angst (but comfort at the end), bullet wounds, injury, blood, almost dying, curse words

you saw the blood before you felt the pain in your side. it dripped down your stomach and into your hands. and then came the horrible vision blurring pain that followed. black spots flowered in your vision as you fell to the floor on your knees. you clutched your stomach as if your two hands could stop the bleeding of a bullet hole.

this was meant to be an easy job. it was meant to be in and out. you and the crows had escaped the ice court, the hands of jan van eck, and the capture of multiple countries. a re con mission at a merchant party should have been a joke. it was meant to even be fun.

you had been looking forward to it for weeks. looking forward to dressing up. feeling nice fancy satin on your skin for one beautiful night. being able to see jesper all cleaned up and in a suit.

you had woken up that morning ready to let your fantasy world take over, to pretend that this job was just a date between you and your boyfriend. that you two fit into this world of luxury and ease, and not the world of street fights and bullet wounds.

how wrong your day dreaming had been, you thought to yourself.

you didn’t remember falling to the floor completely, but suddenly your back was pressed onto the street and you could see the night sky above you.

it was pitch black, filled with clouds of smoke and pollution, a staple of ketterdam.

you could vaguely hear voices calling your name in the distance, muffled by the roar of pain your body was in.

where were the stars, you wondered. i need to see the stars.

the tears in your eyes made it hard for you to see but suddenly jesper’s face appeared in your line of vision, followed by inej’s.

a string of curse words left jesper’s mouth as he gently cradled your head and upper body.

inej unwrapped her scarf and pressed it into the wound in your stomach. you winced in pain every time she moved or shook from fear.

“y/n, sweetheart, you have to stay with me” jesper pleaded.

he looked so worn out, so scared. his eyes were wide and sad. his mouth turned into a frown. you hated when jesper didn’t smile, his grin was just too bright for this world.

“please smile for me” you groaned. everything in your body hurt, your vision was blurry, and it was getting harder and harder to form coherent thoughts.

jesper’s frown only deepened as he rubbed your cheek with his thumb, “just stay with me please. i’ll smile for the rest of my life. just stay with me.”

you let out what you hoped was a little whine and not a blood curdling scream.

you guessed it was the latter as both inej and jesper looked at each other with wide eyes.

jesper started screaming nina’s name at the top of his lungs, his voice raw and desperate cracking at the end of each scream.

she won’t get here in time.

you used every ounce of energy your body had left to lift your hand up to jesper’s face.

your touch shocked him and he turned his attention back to your face, you in his arms. he leaned into your hand and you could see tears at the corner of his eyes.

“i love you.” you wheezed out, “i love you so much. you are the best person i’ve ever known. i need you to know that and remember that when i’m not there to tell you.”

his face grew angry at your words and his grip tightened on your body, “no. you are gonna be there. you’re gonna be there for the rest of my stupid life telling me how great i am and sometimes how obnoxious i can be. you are not allowed to die, we aren’t finished.”

you removed your hand from his face. the blood on your hands staining his cheek and shirt. jesper saw the blood on him and let out a small gasp.

the sky caught your attention again.

no stars.

you wanted stars.

you registered the feeling of being lifted off the ground by jesper, his arms hooked under your knees and supporting you head at the same time.

he was walking as fast as he could without hurting you and every small protest of pain from your mouth squeezed at his heart.

you gripped his shirt, “jesper.”

he looked down at you and even scared and covered in your blood you couldn’t believe how beautiful he looked.

“what baby?” he asked as gently as possible, still moving towards, what you hoped, was the slat.

“the stars aren’t there” you said deliriously, resting your head on his chest, “i want to see the stars.”

“stay awake and i’ll take you to the stars sweetheart. just stay awake.” you heard him say before you closed your eyes and the world went silent.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you opened your eyes and you let out a sigh of relief at the familiar sight and smell of your room at the slat.

you craned your neck to the side, and you were met with nina zenik sitting in a chair with her head in her hands, mumbling prayers and nonsense.

“saints zenik, i never took you for the religious type” you teased, your voice coming out sounding wrong thanks to your scratchy throat.

her head snapped up and she rushed to your bed side, clutching your hand.

“oh you absolute idiot, you are not allowed to do that again. do you hear me?” she threatened.

you let out a little laugh, “or what zenik?”

her eyes got sad all of a sudden and she squeezed your hand gently, like if we squeezed just the right way she could transfer all of her love and strength to you. “im sorry i couldn’t get there earlier. by the time you got to me i thought there was nothing i could do.” she sighed and puffed out her chest slightly, “but this is me we’re talking about so of course i fixed you right up. but i didn’t have time to worry about the beauty of all of it so it’ll leave a pretty nasty scar.”

you nodded your head as she talked. you had assumed as much, everything in your body was sore but you were happy that it wasn’t screaming in pain like before.

“god jesper was about to kill me dead as i worked on you, i swear he was so worried and pissed he would have bitch slapped me right there in front of the crows and- oh my god jesper!?” she shrieked the last part.

she got off the floor and opened the door, “jes! get your ass up here.”

she turned back to you, “y/n he was here the entire time. we finally convinced him to go get something to eat i promise. he’s going to be so angry he wasn’t here when you woke up.”

and even thought you’d almost died, the thought of jesper waiting at your bedside made you blush.

nina noticed and rolled her eyes, “yuck, the two of you are so in love it hurts.”

suddenly jesper was at the door, his breathing labored making it very clear that he had run up the stairs at full speed to get to your room.

nina gave you a small smile before slipping out of the room and closing the door.

jesper was at your side before you could blink. his forehead pressed into your arm as he held the same hand nina had held only a few minutes ago.

he kept repeating “you’re okay” and “i’m so sorry” over and over. and you couldn’t speak. because you couldn’t believe you had this beautiful boy in your life and you were making him worry.

you lifted his head so he was looking at you and you placed your hand on his cheek. you got a horrible sense of deja vu. jesper felt it too because he immediately tensed. you pulled your hand away and when you both saw there was no blood, you put it back.

“jes, you incredible idiot, this is not your fault. you don’t have to say sorry. i’m okay. i’m still here. we are okay.”

you punctuated each word to make him really get it. you couldn’t live with yourself if this moment destroyed the happy boy that you had fallen in love with.

he let out a breath and motioned for you to make room in the bed. you wiggled to one side, wincing a little bit. jesper climbed in and you rested your head on his shoulder as he played with your fingers.

“don’t ever scare me like that again” he grumbled.

you laughed and jokingly responded with “no sorry babe i can’t promise that, i just love getting shot in the stomach. quiet enjoyed it”

he glared at you for a second before laughing with you.

he traced a little heart into your palm with his pointer finger. “you’re my favorite person in this world. i couldn’t live without you.”

“then you’re lucky you don’t have to” you hummed in response.

“yeah i am, who would annoy the crap out of me if not” he teased.

you giggled into his shoulder and left a little kiss.

“when you’re feeling better, you know, not on the brink of death by bullet, i’m going to take you to novyi zem.” you looked up at him, shocked because jesper had never suggested visiting his home country. but he was still looking at your fingers like his life depended on it. “we’re going to spend a week at my da’s farm and we’ll stay up all night looking at the stars and making up stories.” he said. it didn’t sound like a request but more like a plea. like he had to give this to you.

you only vaguely recalled mentioning the stars and jesper holding you in his arms but you nodded your head anyways.

“as much as i’m incredibly excited for that, i already have the brightest star right here.” you grinned, tapping his nose.

he rolled his eyes and kissed the crown of your head, “cheesy sweetheart. even for you.”

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l4verq · 3 years

Text

dumb theories | b.b

bucky barnes x reader

in which you have an incredibly dumb idea in hopes of seeing him again

warnings : angst, fluff

fic : one shot

a/n : kinda inspired by new moon, yall DON’T do this shit lol Bella was dumb. and so is y/n 😳

|| gif by @love-ha-fge ||

The first time it happened, you thought you were going insane.

You had to take the subway that day cause your stupid car wouldn’t start for some reason.

It would be the third day in a row that you were late if you wasted any more time and you were already tottering a treacherous line of possibly being fired due to “mandatory cutbacks”.

So, you make a mental note to ring up your sister cause she’s always known her way around cars and rush towards the metro station.

It’s a Wednesday, quite possibly the busiest you’ve seen the subway.

You clump your way through the swarm of people, eyes on the ground, trying not to step on others.

But it’s hard cause you’re in these ridiculously high heels that you were sure you’d love during a late night shopping spree.

And your worst fear comes true when your ankle buckles, legs wobbling as you try not to fall.

But a strong hand grips your arm, steadying you on to your feet.

It takes you a spilt second to whip your head around because you know it’s him, his touch.

You look around frantically, searching for those blue eyes that you’ve missed so desperately.

Your hope dwindles with each bump into a passerby, harsh reality sinking in again.

Which hurts the same as when he left you, a solemn farewell on the rooftop of your apartment.

“It’s safer for you if I’m not around.”

You could only stand and stare as he left, metal arm glinting in the afternoon sun, hoping he’d turn around.

The second time, you’re black out drunk in a random club with your co-workers.

Not your best look but you were too miserable to be alone that night.

A pep talk to yourself about how you deserve someone better than him and five shots later, he’s off your mind which feels nice, for a change.

But you could never really take alcohol that well so you’re bent over a toilet seat, hurling next to a couple making out.

You just wanted to go home.

But home wasn’t where your apartment was.

It was in the arms of a grumpy 106 year old supersoldier, who looked way too good for his age.

The next day, you’d woken up in your bed, neatly tucked in.

Everything the same as before, only the window, you always kept shut, was wide open.

Sometimes you could swear, you see a tint of ivory out of the corner of your eye, while in the grocery store, in the park, on your way to work.

But you always find nothing when you glance over.

Your sister claims your misery is progressing to delusions, that you need to get laid.

You flick her off, half convinced by her theory.

Yet here you are, hands clutching on to the railings as you try not to look twenty stories down.

You had your own theory to test out.

Not your smartest idea, could possibly be the last idea you have.

But the consequences somehow seemed to dull at the thought of possibly seeing him again.

You teeter to the very edge, hands slowly letting go as you fall.

It’s all a blur of wind and glasses until everything goes black.

“You got lucky,” The man smiles, “Bucky took most of the hit.”

He introduces himself as Finnick, a pudgy man with thick rimmed glasses.

“Are you a doctor?” You croak, eyes skimming over the tubes jammed in your arm.

You were propped up against a pillow, a machine beeping next to you.

He gets up to leave, “Close enough. All you need is one more good night’s rest and you’ll be good as new.”

You close your eyes as your stupid decisions come rushing back to you.

“Is he-.”

“Pissed, yeah. He’s been waiting for you to wake up since Tuesday.” Finnick smiles, sadly.

Tuesday? How many days had it been?

You don’t have time to think cause he arrives at the door, in his daunting kevlar suit.

The stupid mask over his pretty face once again.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble as you brace yourself for him to chew you out.

But instead he storms in and pulls you in a tight embrace, stoically.

Your free hand limps around his waist.

You smile cause you’ve missed this so much and so has he.

But he pulls away and gruffs, “That was stupid.”

You avert your gaze to the floor, gnawing at your lip.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it. You could have died.” His voice breaks.

All the what ifs had haunted him for the past two days as you laid unconscious, regretting ever leaving you.

“I kinda did when you left.” You confess, unable to meet his eyes.

His rugged hand reaches to lift your chin to look him in his coarsened blue eyes.

It’s at times like this when he wants to run away with you somewhere safe, where he could tell you how much he loves you.

But he knew his demons would catch up to him, they always did.

And he couldn’t let them taint you too.

“You’re dramatic.” His face softens underneath the mask.

You smile and he smiles too thinking about how he’d fall off another building just to see that again.

Hand slowly reaching out to the back of his mask, he flinches slightly as you pull it off.

The only person he’d let touch his face willingly.

You notice a new ridged line leading from his mouth to his ear.

“S’nothing.” He assures you, your finger tracing the mellowed scar.

“Did it hurt?” You ask, already knowing what he’d say.

You never asked much about what he did, but you knew enough.

Why he couldn’t stay the night, why he sneaked out your window each time.

He shakes his head, kissing your hand.

“Do you have to go?” You whisper, heart sinking again.

He had to.

Hydra still did daily check-ins though the ‘treatments’ stopped years ago and he couldn’t risk anything.

Not when so much was on the line.

“Only after you fall asleep.”

“And when I wake up?”

“I’ll be right next to you.”

a/n : smone stop me frm commiting infidelity, tfatws is making me fall for bucky even more and steve’s pissed😳🏃🏻‍♀️ lol im still cringing as i post this👁👽

#james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #winter soldier #sebastian stan #mcu #marvel #bucky fanfic #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x reader #the winter soldier #bucky fic #bucky

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docholligay · 3 years

Note

Tracer/Emily “on a scar”

Talk about stuff I've meant to write for ages, this moment is finally out in the world. ANYWAY THANK YOU 1600ish words, all of my OW universe is here.

Tracer kissed her shoulder.

It should have felt good. She wanted it to feel good. She was incredibly attracted to Tracer, who had been a perfect lady over the past few weeks. Tracer, who was handsome and charming and gallant, who had treated her to dinner and walks in the park and made her laugh with all her stories, brought her flowers and told her she looked wonderful in purple, who had never invited herself up even though her eyes clearly wanted to be invited up.

But instead, there was a sort of deep grim that lapped at the corner of her mind. Emily was not good with women. She wasn’t good with anyone really, over the age of six, she thought, quiet and shy and awkward, the way she’s been all of her life. She wanted this, and she was afraid of it. She was not a casual person. Sometimes she wished she were.

The hard part, for Emily, was knowing when to tell someone. When she had been younger, it had been easy to blame her being trans for every ounce of hesitation she felt in a public setting, for every stumble through a conversation, and every bad date where her calls were never returned. It some ways, it had made things easier, to know that there was an immutable reason for such things, but life is rarely so kind, and she had met so many other women like her who glittered and had full dance cards, who lived life loudly.

So her own hated timidness had to, at least in some capacity, be an organic consequence of being Emily McNair, rather than anything else. It was disappointing.

But because she was Emily McNair, and because she had no idea of what it meant to be casual, and because she, like the silly fool that she was, was dangerously close to being truly in love with Tracer, she had to tell her. She wanted to tell her. Because if she was going to love Tracer, she had to know that Tracer could love all of her, even her history.

She tried not to expect too much of people in that vein.

“Em?” Tracer pulled away from her, ‘Can’t ‘elp but notice you don’t seem particularly engaged. You,” she seemed disappointed, “you not want to?”

“Oh, Lena, I do, but it’s only..” She tucked her hair behind her ear, “I have to speak to you, first.”

Her eyes darted around the room. “What ‘ave I done? Or not done?”

“No, no, of course no. It’s only me.”

“Alright. All ears.”

Emily was sure there had to be a perfect way of doing this, but over the twenty odd years of her life, she had never quite found it. Words were, most people would agree, not Emily’s strong suit, and generally she was as content to listen to others talk as they were. The handful of times she had gotten far enough to want to tell someone, it had never come out the way she’d imagined, and as Tracer looked at her, she realized that new and better speech she kept planning wasn’t going to reveal itself this time either.

“I’m trans. I just--thought you should know, before.” She swallowed and looked off to the side, waiting.

Tracer rocked back on her heels and looked at Emily.

“Is that all? Doesn’t matter, I don’t care about that,” she stopped for a moment, “Sorry. You know,” she tilted her head quickly and leaned forward, trying to put herself back into Emily’s gaze, “it’s just now occurred to me why me Dad put it that way when I told ‘im I was gay, can’t really think of a better way to say it--suppose it didn’t urt that ‘e wasn’t the slightest bit surprised by the news--but wasn’t helpful to me then either.” She took Emily’s hand. “Thank you for telling me. I feel all the same about you as I did. I think you are absolutely beautiful, and I cannot believe me luck, sitting on the sofa with you. You ‘ave no reason to be shy with me. Still buzzing about being invited up, love.”

Emily let her shoulders relax a little. “I’m shy with everyone.”

“I ‘ope sincerely that it’s not that people ‘ave been cruel to you.”

“Not, I think I’m just a bit awkward, I mean,” Emily shook her head. “Most people haven’t known since I left school. But I don’t much,” she fiddled with the strap of her dress, “you know, see women.”

Tracer smiled. “Right. Let me show you something.”

She slipped her shirt off under her CA with a speed and grace Emily would not have guessed was possible, leaving only her CA and a sports bra. The first thing she noticed were the bright toucans on Tracer’s bra. The second thing she noticed was that Tracer was as spectacularly toned as she might have guessed given her quick strength, and she blushed.

The third thing she noticed were two deep and heavily puckered scars, right at the edge of her rib cage. Her eyes widened and she brought a hand to her mouth, without thinking, and then immediately realized Tracer must be seeing her, after being so kind to Emily, showing shock, and she might think it was disgust--

But Tracer gave that loud peal of a laugh that Emily loved so much. “I know! Terrible, innit? Man shot me.” She scowled a moment. “Thought ‘e was me friend, once upon a time, but ‘e did disabuse me of that notion, as Fareeha put it, you know, love, for all the times she pretends she doesn’t understand a bloody thing I’m saying she manages to put up quite the English vocabulary when it suits her, right? Right, absolute tosh--listen to me waffling on, me Dad always said I could talk for England--what I mean is, love, you ain’t the only one with a thing or two unusual. Say nothing about the machinery. I’m loads of things to get used to, right? So you and I are of a kind. Me more than you, even, ‘ave no doubt you look better with your clothes off than me, if you don’t mind me saying so, right? So you never need be shy with me, for I’ll always do me best. I ‘ave no doubt that I will say or do something unbelievably bloody stupid, and when that happens, I want you to say, ‘Lena, you bloody stupid cunt,” Emily laughed and shook her head, “--No love, I’m being very serious just now--Lena, don’t do that” and then I won’t.”

Emily looked at her. Tracer’s eyes were bright and sparkling, but full of sincerity. Even now, she had that little resting smile on her face that Emily had come to realize just sat there, as unhappiness did on others. There was something about Tracer that drew Emily in, that made her feel safe, and suddenly it felt true, that someone like Tracer could not mind. Suddenly it seemed silly to Emily that anyone had ever minded at all. She had so many explanations planned out, ways to make it okay for Tracer and assure her that there wasn’t much different about Emily, but it all seemed completely unnecessary in the moment.

She had been honest, when she said she didn’t care.

Emily reached her hand out and brushed her fingertips against the deep crater on Tracer’s stomach, and Tracer did not flinch away from her touch, even for a moment.

“It must have hurt terribly.”

Tracer shook her head. “You know, actually, I lost a great deal of blood very quickly, which doesn’t necessarily recommend itself but I will say made the pain a bit of a non-issue.” She laughed again. “Honestly, Winston’s more traumatized by it than I am, I only remember little bits of the thing. Lost some of me liver though, and I am sore about that, as I make quite a bit of use of it,” she looked down, “ as you can see by the fact that I lack a bit in the definition department.”

“You’re very handsome, Lena.” Emily said, still looking at the scar, unable to look Tracer in the eye when she said it.

“Well, you’re kind to say so.” Tracer put her hand on top of Emily’s. “I still am keen to root about the cabbages, so to speak, and I want you to know I won’t be put off so easily in future,” she grinned, “but if you’d rather not tonight, I understand that, as well.”

“Oh, but I don’t want you to go!”

Tracer took Emily by the shoulders. “I can stay then, love. ‘Appy to ‘ear it. Can stay all night, if you like. But we don’t ‘ave to do nothing.”

Emily leaned forward and put her head on Tracer’s shoulder, letting herself fall into her embrace. Tracer kissed her forehead.

“We can stay just like this, love.”

I love you, she wanted to say, I love you, and I feel excited and happy and utterly terrified at the fact. But, she reasoned, she had tripped over her own tongue enough for one evening, and in this moment, she thought she would have plenty of other chances. Tracer would stay. She kissed Tracer’s cheek and settled into her arms as Tracer laid back against the couch.

“You know, the scars aren’t even the worst of it, with me. ‘Ardware neither.”

“Oh?”

“Right, there’s the entirety of me personality to deal with, as well. Messy. Can’t pay attention to save me own life, sometimes quite literally, depending on who you ask. Touch of P--well, honestly, just ask Fareeha, when you meet her, she’s got a list of me negative qualities, I think. Probably alphabetized. Maybe categorical.”

Emily felt herself melt into Tracer and allowed herself the joy of a laugh.

The cool wind of October shook the trees outside, and litter blew along the street next to her shabby little London flat, and Emily had never been happier.

#touch prompts

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wesimpforxiao · 3 years

Text

Say My Name and I’ll Be There: 10.3: The FINAL Chapter!

Author’s Note: IM SO SORRY IM A DAY LATE I ENDED UP BEING BUSIER THAN EXPECTED AND HAD TROUBLE WRITING BUT HERE IT IS!!!! THANK YOU FOR READING! Be sure to stick around for Inception(Childexreader) ;)

"Xiao! Come here real quick!"

The yaksha glanced your way but didn't bother to get up since you were the one approaching him. It took a moment to register that your hands were entangled in his hair, placing something in it. Your smile was unusually bright today--so much so that it was blinding. Not that he minded though; you've been through a lot these past few months. Maybe this was the happiest you've been in awhile.

"I knew it," you beamed as you admired the flower crown atop his head, "You look so cute!"

"C...Cute?" His gaze flicked away from you for a moment while the tips of his ears reddened. "I-"

"Oh, take the compliment already. We've been together for awhile now. You don't need to be so shy around me." You let yourself fall back onto the grass that was shaded by a large orange tree. Is it a gingko? I need to ask Aether next time he comes in here, your mind trailed.

"I..." Xiao returned his attention to you and lay down next to you, careful not to invade personal space and always leaving an inch or two of space between the two of you. He let his hands lay on his abdomen until he jumped a little from you scooting over without a word. When he looked at you, he was greeted by a cheeky smile.

"I know you're not used to this type of thing called affection, but I can tell you don't mind it."

"Hmph. You've gotten smarter."

"Hey, I told you I'm not a stupid human!"

"You're beginning to sound like Aether's companion."

"Okay, there is a huge difference between emergency food and a stupid human."

"So you admit it?"

"Ugh, keep this up and I'll have no choice but to put more flowers in your hair."

"Do you dishonor every adeptus you come across?"

"Well, you're the only adeptus I've met besides Rex--Er, Zhongli!" The filtered sunlight peeking through the leaves above blinded you when you broke eye contact with Xiao, so instead you propped yourself on your side and admired the view behind him.

Aether's Serenitea Pot was massive. It had to span a mile or two in every direction, and the entire territory sat upon five tall cliffs that were connected via wooden bridges and held flowing waterfalls. The weather was always pleasant day-round. There were several pets outside of the main house on the main cliff that you had befriended, while Xiao seemed to connect the most with one of the gray tabby cats near the entrance. You had caught them sitting quietly together on several occasions.

"Granny would've loved this place," you sigh.

"I shall go with you to visit her grave." He didn't look at you as he said this, but the sincerity of his words rang as clear as the sky above. "...She'd be happy to know you're safe."

"All thanks to you." Despite originally admiring the scenery, your eyes had drifted downward and landed on his stomach. Both of you were fully healed by now because of Bennett, and neither of you had any lasting effects from your battles minus the required resting time. Your side held a prominent scar both at your front and your back, but did Xiao even get scars? He never revealed the answer--mostly because you were too embarrassed to ask--and thus leaving the idea to your imagination.

"I should probably check on the situation outside soon; it's been awhile since Aether updated us." Xiao sat up and summoned his spear--he had mentioned a few times that it was difficult for him to relax here and needed to keep himself busy since a comfortable life is a foreign concept.

"Oh, right..." Your gaze followed his figure as he rose to his feet. Sensing your--what was it, disappointment?--Xiao turned to you and removed his flower crown before gently placing it atop your head. That action was followed by a faint smile, then his lips lightly pecked the tip of your nose.

"I shouldn't be long."

"You two love birds have made quite the nest here! I've gotta say, Aether's got great taste." A familiar voice caught both of you off your guard and Xiao's stance became aggressively defensive in an instant. You and Xiao were supposed to be the only ones in the teapot at the moment, and even then, those who did occasionally stay in here didn't greet you like this. The person that voice belonged to wasn't welcome--or at least, belonged to a presumably-dead man--regardless of that savior act he pulled in Snezhnaya.

"Childe?" More shocked than afraid, you too rose to your feet. "What're you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious? I came here because I had something to say." The harbinger was as carefree as ever, but as he walked towards you a slight limp became noticeable in his steps. He was hiding an injury, but was it from Scaramouche or from Aether?

"What did you do to Aether?" Xiao's voice was as low as a growl as he raised his spear higher. He stood slightly ahead of you to ensure your safety since you no longer had a vision and couldn't use those mysterious anemo powers ever since the rescue. And knowing you and your idiotic tendencies, he had to make sure you didn't do something stupid like try to fight Childe if provoked.

"Haha! Relax! Aether and Mr. Zhongli are doing just fine; in fact, they allowed me to enter!" Childe hid a wince when he stopped walking, but noticed the flicker of recognition in your eyes. His lips curled upward with flattery. "Don't worry, ojou-chan. A little scuff isn't going to take me out."

"I-I wasn't worrying about you."

He seemed unconvinced but faced Xiao again anyway. "You'd be pleased to know that both Aether and Zhongli let me in on their own accord--no manipulation from me whatsoever." The fact that he had to clarify that! "Why don't we chat over lunch? I'll cook. Show me to the kitchen, girlie?"

.............

To say that you and Xiao were staring was a bit of an understatement. Here you were, both sitting at the dining table in the main hall of Aether's adeptal house watching Childe cook up a meal fit for a large family while expertly navigating the kitchen like it was his own. And when he served you, the delicious aroma that wafted into your nose was nothing short of enticing. You and Xiao withheld your utensils--one out of weariness, and the other because it's not almond tofu.

"What?" Childe let out a slight chuckle as he took his seat and dug into his plate. You have no idea how thankful he was that there were forks in the drawers instead of chopsticks. "Oh, perhaps you two already ate before my arrival? More for me then I suppose."

"Um, so why are you here?"

"I figured I'd give you an update regarding our little situation outside."

"'Little?'" Xiao couldn't contain his scoff. He hadn't dismissed his weapon either, and it levitated beside his seat.

"Seems like the quiet life hasn't changed you one bit, yaksha." The harbinger stopped stuffing his face and set his fork aside to look at you. "Regarding what happened with Scaramouche, I think it's safe to say I won."

"If it weren't for you coming here today, I would've assumed your untimely demise." Ignoring Xiao's look of disapproval, you reached for your utensils and started to eat. Both of you hadn't taken your eyes off of the harbinger as he cooked, so the chances that he may have tampered with the ingredients were low. Plus it'd be out of his character to go about eliminating enemies like that. "I'm grateful that you saved my life, but don't think for a second that that makes up for everything you've done to us."

"Oh, I wouldn't dare. I know I've been aggressive for lack of a better term, but I'd like you to know that I'm only like that when it comes to my duties as one of the eleven harbingers. Aside from that, I'm happy to call you a comrade just as I view Aether and Zhongli."

"Woah woah woah," you nearly choked. "I'm certainly not going to start viewing you as a friend now."

Childe simply laughed at your objection. "Think what you may, but I do respect you and the rest of Aether's party. As for my motherland and it's affairs, I think you'd be happy to know that the Tsaritsa has stopped her pursuit of you and Xiao. She's not exactly appreciative of you wrecking the palace and would like to avoid any further destruction that can hamper her current plans."

"That's all it took for her to leave us alone? You must be joking." The archon had spent so much time and resources on hunting and imprisoning you--the idea of her giving up just like that had to be unrealistic, right? And the fact that Xiao managed to bring the entire palace down...there's got to be some sort of bounty on your heads.

Childe met your gaze and held a level of sincerity equivalent to the time when he confessed his feelings and offered you a position among the harbingers on Dragonspine. "Not in the slightest. Regardless, you're free to lead carefree lives from now on. Though if you'd like to rejoin the Fatui I'm sure I can pull some--"

"Nope. I'm done with that."

"Ha! Very well then." Childe resumed eating with an amused grin on his face, but Xiao wasn't satisfied with this conversation yet.

"You've given us no reason to trust your words." His stare was hard and calculating as he tried to decipher any hidden motives behind Childe's friendliness. It wouldn't be unusual for this to be some kind of trick. In fact, he expected that there'd be some sort of catch.

The harbinger sent a brief glance Xiao's way before guiding another forkful of food into his mouth and shrugging. "...Like I said, think what you may. I don't care if you two choose to live in this realm or in Teyvat with the rest of us. But then again it must be incredibly boring for a guardian yaksha to be lounging around in this domestic place. I know I'd be driven mad if I had to live in such a quiet place for so long."

Xiao didn't flinch or give any indication that he was right, but your eyes briefly flicked his way. It was uncomfortable for him to be 'relaxing' here with nothing to do. It wasn't surprising that he'd be yearning to go out and uphold his contract with Rex Lapis again.

............

"Childe, wait." Your hand gripped his forearm rather aggressively as he reached for the door handle to take his leave. Xiao had heard a disturbance outside and went to check on the realm just in case, so it was only the two of you inside the mansion.

"What is it, ojou-chan? Miss me already?"

"Yeah right." As he turned to face you, your grip lightened until you let go. He hadn't called you 'Mezzetin' once since he got here, only referring to you with this nickname like old times...Childe raised a confused brow. "Why?"

"...Why? Why what?"

"Why did you save me? You could've just let Scaramouche kill me back there. So...why did you risk your life to save mine when you didn't care less when I was tortured?" Your stance was firm as you faced him head-on. "I need to know."

"Ah," Childe awkwardly scratched the back of his head, "that." Some sort of conflict flickered in those blue eyes of his as he formulated an answer he didn't quite know himself. "Like I said earlier ojou-chan, I've always seen you as a com--no. As a friend. Just as Zhongli and I converse despite the Osial controversy, I see you in the same light despite my loyalty to the Tsaritsa."

"That doesn't answer my question, though. You had several opportunities to stop what was happening, and it was only then when you decided to step in. So why then? What changed your mind?"

"I don't know."

"Bullshit, Tartaglia. There's got to be strings attached to this, right? You expect something in return from me? Just get on with it already and tell me."

"I doubt you'd be satisfied with my answer regardless," he muttered mostly to himself. "I may be kind of a bad guy, but I'm not completely heartless." He observed the stumped expression that sat on your face as the gears turned in your head. Then, he turned to the door again. "When you're ready, you should join Mr. Zhongli and I for drinks sometime. Farewell, girlie." He was gone.

Despite the deep-rooted grudge you held against the harbinger now, you couldn't help but still hold some sense of familiarity or gratitude for him. You might just take on that offer if only to purposely antagonize him at the dinner table.

......

"Xiao, how did you get your tattoo?" The two of you were sitting beneath another one of the many trees native to Liyue in the adeptal realm, still waiting for news regarding your return to the mortal realm. Several days have passed since Childe paid you a visit, and Zhongli and Aether still had yet to check in on the two of you. To keep Xiao occupied and keep him from worrying, you'd ask him questions. "I don't have any of your memories of it."

Despite his memories being shared with you due to your bond, the further back in time they're from, the blurrier they got. The oldest memory you could 'remember' dealt with the god that enslaved him, and even then, there was no mention of the mysterious green markings that sat on his arm.

"I've always had these markings," he answered gruffly. He had sat up a moment prior with the intent to exit the teapot out of concern for your companions, but your random question caught him off guard. His amber eyes narrowed cynically when your fingers traced them.

"Do they have a special meaning?"

"'Meaning?'" His gaze averted for a moment as he decided whether or not to indulge such a topic. But your eyes were so full of life as you traced his arm, and your touch was so warm... "They represent my true form."

"True form?" You tilted your head and attempted to picture whatever the heck he would be, but all you saw were a bunch of random shapes. The other adepti in Liyue are shaped like deer and cranes, but what the heck was this mosaic supposed to be picturing? "And, uh, what would that be?"

Xiao let out a tiresome sigh and realized he may have made a mistake in answering these questions. Now that he had told you, you weren't going to stop asking until you got to see for yourself. He never uses his true form; very few had ever seen it and those who have have already passed. Zhongli had only ever seen it once.

Seeing his apparent concern made you raise a brow. "No way. Don't tell me your true form is a bug or something!"

"Tch. Is that really what came to mind?" Xiao shot you a glare before standing. He was planning on walking away and ending the conversation, but your silent pleading made him reconsider almost instantly. We are alone, he thought. Perhaps I could show her once. "Fine," he grumbled. "Close your eyes."

You obeyed. He didn't exactly say 'no' when you asked if he'd be a bug. He wasn't going to appear as such...right? Butterflies fluttered in your stomach at the anticipation. And just as your excitement grew, so did the winds that brushed past you. Even the leaves in the tree above were shaking violently. Then, everything stilled. Something soft brushed your fingertips, which were resting on your knees. It was a cue.

"Hm?" Xiao was no longer standing over you. Instead stood a majestic bird with blue and green feathers that shimmered like glitter in the sunlight that filtered through the tree branches. "You're--!"

"--a bird," he finished. He didn't say anything for a moment and allowed you to take it all in, seemingly shy or even embarrassed as you instantly reached out to touch him.

The blush that rushed to your cheeks was ignored by the both of you while your fingers grazed over the feathers that stuck up from the top of his head. He was beautiful; as breathtaking as a peacock, even. Your fingers trailed down the back of his long neck, earning a rise of feathers as Xiao contemplated your movements. His feathers were softer than the finest textiles in Liyue! And the tail feathers he had must've been as long as you are tall. They glowed a light blue that's similar to the eyes of his mask.

"So beautiful," you whispered in adoration. Xiao shifted his wait to his other foot. "Thank you for showing me." The fact that he did showed how much trust he placed in you--

The sound of a twig snapping scared the crap out of both of you--so much so that Xiao immediately transformed back into his mortal self. Since he was so close to you though, it looked like he was sitting on you from the front angle.

"Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to check in--" Aether nearly stumbled when he approached you. "Um...am I interrupting?"

"No!"

"The Vigilant Yaksha is BLUSHING?!" Paimon squealed so loud that the three of you scowled. "And what's with that sitting position?! You--"

"Paimon!" Aether swatted at his companion before she could say something that angered the yaksha. "We came here for a reason!"

"Hey! Paimon is NOT a fly!"

"It's confirmed to be safe now. You two can come home!"

"Wait, really?" The two of you stood up. "Are you sure?"

"Yep! There's no issue with the Fatui anymore. Everyone's backed off. We'll see you at the Pavilion for dinner to celebrate, okay? Don't be late!" The two partners exited the realm in a flash.

"Ready?" Xiao turned to you.

"Right now?! It's so sudd--"

"You don't have any belongings here anyways." The statement cracked a smile on both faces. "Let's go." He reached to tap the symbol on his hand.

Your hand grabbed his. "Wait! Let me see you a little longer." He was confused to say the least, but you didn't bother explaining how gorgeous he looked in the light right now. Those amber eyes mirrored your own--though perhaps it'd be more accurate to say the opposite. This is the last chapter of the crazy 'adventure' and the dangerous waltz with the Tsaritsa. In just moments you'd be back in reality, return to Liyue Harbor, return to your Granny's grave, and he would return to his duty of protecting Liyue. One more moment in this peaceful environment is all you need to admire him before life got hectic again.

Now your new adventure will be permanently at Xiao's side for however long your lifespan is: training with him, supporting him at his darkest moments, and loving him. No matter what Teyvat brings next, you'll be able to take it on head-first despite lacking a vision and at his side. You'll both thrive, not just survive. And as you peered into his eyes, you could tell he felt the same. "Okay," you nod. "I'm ready."

#wesimpforxiao #wesimpforxiaoupdates #genshin x reader #xiao x reader #genshin impact #say my name and ill be there

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bennifits · 3 years

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fuck it.

imma talk about millie im so sorry

- Millie was homeless before the apocalypse. kicked out of her house at 17 for trying weed once. Her mother being more into the idea since she’s more traditional than her father. Her father was military, and used to take her on hunting trips, which is why she knows her way around a gun a bit. She had a younger brother as well who was 6 at the time of her getting kicked out.

- to earn whatever little money she had, she busked on the streets with her guitar, writing a few songs in her time as well. She made a few friends on the road, but eventually had to move on. With train hopping being her main mode of transport.

- at time of the end of the world (s1) she was 24-25

- good friends with Jesus, since those two like to bounce around a lot they tend to bump into each other.

- she uses sound to herd walkers away, she’s read books on how clocks work and made ‘time bombs’ where she winds them up and throws them to draw them away n shit

- more often than not, if she’s out in the wild she’s got a big ass cloak on that’s covered in walker guts. She’s quiet, knows how manipulate sound n shit like that.

- she wears a bandage or a long sleeve bc aha angst winky face (heavy angst if you know what i mean, hides the scar.)

story:

- first appearance would be in the prison era. (yes i will be talking like she’s part of the show im cringe stfu). Be one of those one off episodes, Daryl goes on a small run, just to case out an area and runs into her. He’s apprehensive of her, seeing how she deals with walkers, but he puts that aside bc a herd comes from nowhere and traps them overnight and tadaaa they bond.

- he offers her a place to stay, after seeing that she’s some what capable with a weapon and knows her way around. She declines, she was never the type to find a group and stick with it, she’d always leave in the middle of the night and strangely, felt like she couldn’t bare to hurt his feelings if they got closer than just strangers to friends.

- she was in the surrounding area for a little while longer, actually bumping into Glenn, Daryl, Michonne and Rick a handful due to runs. every time they asked Millie to come with them and every time she declined.

- in the sick arc of the prison era. a mysterious sack of medicine ends up at the front gate in the middle of the night. with a note saying “stay safe D” - Mills.

- she leaves and heads towards the kingdom after that. on her own right up until...

- until she meets Ezekiel.

- They met as she was walking the road, going through buildings to look for food when he and a group got trapped in a building. So with nothing really to live for, she started playing a song to lure them away to give them a chance to escape.

- she rounded back to check on them. Ez promised her a place to stay in exchange for her services. (Jerry was very into her using sound and calling it badass)

- it’s not a good first impression really. She’s covered in head to toe in blood and guts from covering her smell from walkers, she’s smelly and just horrible looking.

- the kingdom took her under his wing, showed her how to trust someone.

- she was dubbed the court’s bard / king’s bard / whatever

- she hones her skills, becoming an incredible shot with a bow and honing her skills with her bat with melee. She turns into a type of scout, keeping tabs on alexandria and helping make relations with other communities

- shiva took a particular liking to her music.

- for some reason she ended up saving ezekiel’s life more than once. he can’t really find a way to return the favour, every time he brings something up she just tells him

-”being able to stand by your side and have a roof over my head with a hot meal at any hour of the day is all that i need your majesty”

- she helped him negotiate terms with the saviors. the one they have with the once a week drop off thing

- she went out on recon, looking for places to hit with supplies when she gets injured in some debris under a collapsed part of a building. Lucky for her, she doesn’t die, hearing voices.

- and she wakes up in Alexandria.

- she has wounds and cannot return to her group, she doesn’t tell them about the kingdom because she simply doesn’t feel like it would be useful info.

- eyyyy then the gang shows uuuup

- reunited with the walking gamers.

- she assures them it’s somewhat safe, they’re all stupid and don’t know how to fight walkers. She’s happy to see everyone beyond comprehension, like they’re long lost family or something.

- she finally and formally meets everyone, actually introducing herself as a travelling bard

- bonding with everyone ensues. Deanna thought she’d be a permanent resident, but after she’s all healed up she immediately bounces. (right before rick goes coo coo and and bloody and michonne bonks him on da head)

- leaves a note and present for daryl, a basket of flowers with a smiley face. she also kinda left bc she realised she might have caught feelings,,, and she’s afraid of that shit

- goes back to kingdom people are like ‘sick she’s alive that’s epic’

- time passesssssssssss

- She’d have been there for a while. Meeting Carol for the first time. Feeling drawn to her even after she left, she would often visit her while in that little cottage. She remembered the name, so she asked about the group, saying they were okay. Millie felt relieved, wanted to go out and look for them to reconnect but didn’t wanna do anything to jeopardise the kingdom.

- then the group came for help. Strumming away at her guitar when they wander in.

- “holy shit is that you D? Oh hey Jesus”

- was like a small mind blown, two worlds colliding.

- When daryl had to stay behind she followed him around everywhere, thinking it was a sign or something like damn 3 times she’s run into this group that’s gotta mean something. She even showed him where Carol was, and escorted him back to Hilltop

- “Don’t gotta babysit me”

- “Can’t have you being found by the saviors. that would suck”

- sticks with him right up before the big fight at the season finale where she goes back to the kingdom to relay the message and helps keep alexandria safe in the fight.

- that’s kinda all im up to atm in the series n shit im currently watching the episode titled ‘Mercy’

#millie #the walking dead oc #twd oc #stfu bennijie #bennijie writes #hehe #daryl dixon x reader #might do the meeting daryl one #hehehehe :)c

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stormyoceansmain · 3 years

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[im very much NOT a writer - i cannot stress this enough - but i truly mean it when i say sambucky is making me go insane. i find no other explanation for ending up writing 3.8k words of sambucky, alpine, and movie night. thank you if you decide to read this, i hope it's not too terrible]

Sam shows up at Bucky’s place for movie night with a case full of beers and ten minutes to spare.

Sarah makes fun of him for this Friday tradition they’ve been carrying out for the past few months, says he should just muster the courage to ask Bucky out on a proper date already. It doesn't matter how many times Sam told her he is just helping Bucky catch up to the 21st century, she always ends up giving him that Look that says she's not believing any words coming out of his mouth, which is kind of unfair, if you ask Sam.

Well, fine, maybe Sarah is right. Maybe Sam does want to take Bucky out on an actual date and hold his hand and kiss him goodnight and do all those sickeningly romantic stuff he used to daydream about when he was 16. Turns out former assassins who are incredibly annoying but also surprisingly kind are very much Sam's type. Go figure.

Still, they worked hard to reach the kind of friendship they currently have, and Sam doesn't want to lose that. He's also not blind to the way Bucky flirts with Sarah, and despite her insistence that Bucky does it more to rile Sam up than for any real interest in her, he’s not about to risk it all on a whim.

This resolution almost crumbles into dust a moment later, when Bucky opens the door wearing sweatpants and a blue shirt that matches his eyes. He is barefoot and his hair is getting longer, losing the harsh edges of the cut and curling slightly behind his ears. He is still all chiseled jawline and defined muscles, but he looks softer, more comfortable in his own skin, and the easy way he smiles at Sam makes a heavy warmth pool around Sam’s stomach.

“Hey,” Bucky greets him, sliding his metal arm around Sam's shoulders to pull him into a brief hug.

This, too, is something of a novelty. There's always been a sort of intense physicality about Bucky, both in how he carries himself and in how he is always aware of the bodies moving around him, but the casual affection, the playful abandon with which he touches and lets others touch him these days, feels like a wonder. Sam would have never expected it, and he had come to love and hate it at the same time.

“Hey yourself,” Sam greets back, splaying his free hand across Bucky's back, allowing himself to hold him there and breathe him in for a second, a fresh lemony smell coming off his hair, before giving him a quick pat on the shoulder and putting a respectable amount of space between them.

He buries his hands deep into the pocket of his jacket and follows Bucky inside, trying to resist the urge to slide his fingers under the hem of Bucky's shirt and feel the warm skin underneath it.

It's the first time Sam steps into Bucky’s apartment since Bucky took home the stray kitten he found on the side of the road three weeks ago, and the changes around it are staggering. Sam was used to empty spaces and few, essential furniture, but now the space in front of the window is occupied by a giant cat tower, and lots of smaller scratching posts are scattered all over the living room, along with different kinds of cat beds and toys.

“I see you redecorated,” Sam says with a grin.

Bucky shrugs, opening two of the beer bottles with a quick twist of his metal hand. “Cats need stuff.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I'm glad.” Sam grabs one of the bottle and clinks it against Bucky's. “Pets are great company and the place looks much better like this. I wouldn't have pinned you down as the crazy cat lady type, but it's always better than Robocop.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, takes a sip of his beer. Sam catches the smile he is trying to hide anyway.

Sam knocks their shoulders together, asks, “So where is she?”

“Hiding, probably,” Bucky says, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. “She doesn't like strangers.”

Sam stops with the beer halfway to his mouth. “Excuse you,” he exclaims, outraged. “I very clearly remember accompanying you to the vet the first time you brought her in. I also sacrificed two of my shirts for her and have scars on my forearms where she scratched me to death. I think I deserve more than being considered a stranger. We basically co-parented that cat for the first few days!”

“That's nice,” Bucky deadpans. “Why don't you go tell her that? I'm sure the speech will convince her to keep the claws to herself.”

Sam glares at him and Bucky pats him on the arm. “Just relax,” he adds, turning to open the fridge and taking foods out for dinner. “If we let her be, Alpine will come out eventually.”

Bucky is right, of course. Sam had a few experiences with strays growing up, cats and dogs alike looking for shelter from Louisiana's storms under their porch, and no amount of treats he and Sarah tried to give them had been able to lure them out from their hiding spot. The best course of action in these cases was to wait, letting them come out when they felt safe enough.

It still weirdly feels like a rejection of some sort, but he tries not to let it show.

Sam takes a swig from his beer and asks, “Alpine?”

Bucky turns on the stove and shrugs again. He remains silent for a moment, a distant look on his face that Sam has learned to associate to memories better buried and forgotten. He is about to start telling Bucky about the science fair at the boys' school to change the subject, when Bucky speaks again, low and careful.

“She reminds me of the snow on the Alps.”

He doesn't elaborate on that, but Sam nods anyway, like he understands. He doesn't, like Bucky will never be able to fully understand what it means for Sam to carry the shield, but it's okay. They have each other, and that's still something.

Sam taps his foot against Bucky's bare one, watches Bucky's entire being exhale and relax. “Couldn't you have named her Snowflakes or something like that?”

Bucky levels him with a stare that tells him he would rather jump off another plane rather than calling his cat ‘Snowflakes’, and Sam laughs.

The far off look in Bucky’s eyes melts away and they fall into an easy rhythm, Sam sitting at the kitchen table and talking about some renovations he and Sarah would like to do to the house, Bucky cutting the vegetables to sauté.

They have moved on to argue about the best way to season chicken breasts – you cannot leave cayenne pepper out of the spice blend – when Sam catches a flash of white out of the corner of his eyes, and interrupts himself mid-rant.

A second later, Alpine jumps on the kitchen counter, sniffing the air.

It's been only three weeks since Sam last saw her, but she's already grown a lot, and looks much better too: her fur is shiny and clean, her eyes bright, and the slight sprain that caused her to limp around seems to be completely healed.

Alpine lets out a soft chirping sound and headbutts Bucky's arm, rubbing her head against him.

The smile Bucky turns to her is blinding, and Sam has to look away before he ends up doing something stupid, like climb over the table and kiss him.

“I know you're here for the chicken,” Bucky tells her, scratching her behind the ears. “But you can't eat this one.”

He scoops her up with a single hand, ignoring the disapproving meow that follows, and deposits her on the table right next to Sam's arm. Sam freezes, unprepared for the sudden proximity and recalling how quickly she can turn around and scratch, but as soon as Bucky's hand retreats, she is moving away, giving Sam a wide berth. She doesn't go back into hiding, though, just settles on the corner farther away from him and stares him down in a way that reminds him so much of Bucky, Sam doesn't know if he wants to laugh or cry.

He is also struck by the sudden need to make Alpine like him.

“Is she gonna maul me if I try to give her a treat?” Sam asks.

Bucky tilts his head, considering, which does very little to reassure Sam about the safety of his fingers.

“I wouldn’t try hand-feeding her,” Bucky answers, fishing out a bag of treats from one of the cupboards. “But she likes to chase them.”

Alpine observes with quiet intensity as Bucky dumps a few treats into Sam's hands, and when Sam tosses one a few feet away she jumps down the table and runs after it, grabs it with a paw.

“Alright,” Sam declares, “that's pretty cute.”

Sam spends the next few minutes throwing treats at Alpine, inching them closer and closer to himself to test how willing she is to get near him with the proper incentive. The last one he places right in front of his feet, then he sits back and waits. Alpine hesitates, eyes flitting between him and the treat as to evaluate if it's safe enough, until finally she starts to move, slowly, slowly. She gets close enough to stretch her paw out, pull the treat towards herself and take it out of reach to eat somewhere else. Sam still takes it as a win.

Bucky clears his throat and announces that dinner is ready, so Sam leaves Alpine alone and helps him set the table.

Dinner is nice. Bucky makes a glazed chicken with honey and garlic that it's to die for, which Sam finds utterly unfair, considering he comes from a time where spices were believed to be a menace to the public.

He still goes back for seconds, and by the time they move to the living room to watch the movie, Sam feels full and content.

He finds Alpine curled up on one end of the couch, and while he believes they made some progress in their relationship, he doesn’t think either of them is ready to bring it to the next level, so he takes the seat on the other side, careful not to disturb her.

Bucky doesn’t say anything about it, just flops down between Sam and the cat with ease, his knee bumping into Sam’s.

This week they are watching the second movie in The Hobbit trilogy, if only for the horrified look in Bucky’s face when Sam told him that not only they made a movie out of the book, but that they actually managed to stretch it into three. Bucky, it turns out, is one of those people who notices every little changes from the original material, disapproves of them on principle, and is very vocal about his displeasure, exactly like the old man he actually is.

Sam had almost fell off the couch laughing during the first movie, and it had taken him a while to convince Bucky to give the other two a chance. Maybe it was a little assholey of him, knowing that it only gets worse, but just because he likes the guy it doesn’t mean Sam doesn’t want to subject him to some bad cinema for his own entertainment. After all, that’s what friends are for.

It doesn't take long for the comments to start up again. Bucky holds up for thirty minutes, rolling his eyes and grumbling under his breath from time to time, but then Legolas and Tauriel show up and Bucky turns his head to look at Sam, face completely blank, says, “Who the fuck are these people.”

Sam bursts out laughing, and it only gets worse when they reach the scene between Kili and Tauriel in the Woodland Realm: Bucky throws his hands up, exclaims, “Oh, come on,” and starts complaining about how they made the dwarf hot just to add a romance. It has Sam in stitches, and he has to grab onto Bucky's shoulder to stay upright and not end up falling into Bucky's lap.

The tirade ends with Bucky sulking and shaking his head, and Sam is glad for the temporary reprieve just so he can catch his breath. He feels flushed and warm, cheeks hurting from smiling, and the quiet is comfortable, familiar.

After a while, his eyes grow heavy, and he realizes he nodded off only when a light weight sets on his shoulder, jerking him awake.

The movie has ended, screen back on the Netflix title page, and Bucky fell asleep as well, head drooping until it had come to rest against Sam’s body.

The metal arm is glinting gold and blue in the light, and Sam stares down at it, then up at the lines of Bucky’s face, the soft waves of his hair. It always surprises him how vulnerable Bucky looks like this, how younger, and it’s so hard to remember there was a time Sam had actually been scared of him, of what he could do. Now, he would trust Bucky with anything. His life, his family, his home. His heart, too, if Bucky ever wanted it.

Sam knows he should wake him up, send him to bed so he can sleep comfortably there while Sam stretches out on the couch, but he also knows that Bucky still has trouble sleeping sometimes, and Sam doesn't have the heart to wake him up if it isn't really necessary. He’s well aware it's also a little bit selfish, because it's nice, having Bucky this close, warm and solid and smelling of lemon.

Sam takes a deep breath and rests his head on top of Bucky's. He thought he could handle this thing he has for Bucky, keep it under control, but he’s starting to realize he might have actually underestimated the size of his own feelings, which could become a serious problem in the future.

For now, though, Sam closes his eyes and lets himself have this.

The next time Sam wakes up, it's to something walking all over him. He blinks against the sudden light and when his vision clears, he finds Alpine sitting on his lap.

Sam stares at her, wondering for a moment if he is still asleep and dreaming all of this up, but his neck is sore, his arm heavy from Bucky resting against it in his sleep; there’s the beginning of a headache pulsing behind is eyes, and a pressure in his bladder telling him he should probably get up.

Alpine sniffs at his shirt and Sam tentatively raises his free hand, strokes a finger between her ears. She leans into the touch, head tilting up and guiding Sam's hand under her chin. Sam tries really hard not to shriek with delight.

“Oh, you're a sweetheart,” he says, a grin spreading out across his face. “Just like your owner. All tough and fierce on the outside, but adorable and charming on the inside.”

Alpine meows back at him, like she agrees with that statement, and Sam tenses up, glances at the steady rise and fall of Bucky's chest.

“We gotta be quiet,” he tells Alpine, petting her down her side. “We don't want to wake him up.”

“I'm already awake,” comes Bucky's voice next to him.

Sam's entire body jerks in surprise, and Alpine leaps off him, startled.

“Man, don't you do that ever again,” Sam says, a hand placed over his chest. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

Bucky hums, sounding way more amused than he has any right to be, and sits up.

Blood rushes back into Sam's arm, and while Sam is glad to start feeling it again, he's already mourning the loss of contact between them. Except Bucky doesn't go far, just adjusts his position to angle his body towards Sam and rest his head on the back of the couch. It's easier to look at each other, like this, but they are now so close that Bucky's soft breaths are hitting the exposed line of skin above Sam's shirt, the hollow of his neck, making him shiver.

“So,” Bucky says, dragging the word out, lips tilting up at the corner. “I'm adorable and charming?”

Shit.

Of course Bucky would hear that, that's just Sam's luck. God, he is never going to speak again. He will take a vow of silence like in one of those monastic orders and move some place far and secluded where he won't be able to embarrass himself anymore.

He swallows, makes himself let out a laugh. It's meant to be mocking, but it sounds more nervous than anything else. “I think old age is making you hear things,” Sam still tries to deflect, “I clearly said annoying and self-centered.”

Bucky jabs him in the side with a metal finger. “Nice try, Samuel,” Bucky says, grinning widely. “But I've been told I'm a sweetheart.”

Sam's cheeks heat up. “I was talking about Alpine!”

He wonders if maybe T'Challa would let him hide in Wakanda for a while, just long enough for Sam to regain some kind of dignity. He hopes against all hopes that Bucky will have mercy of him and drop the subject, but of course Bucky doesn't. Sam wouldn't either, if their roles were switched.

“You said she is like her owner,” Bucky points pout, eyes bright and so very blue. He pokes Sam in the ribs again. “Which means, you think I’m a sweetheart, too.”

Sam bats his hand away. He may have embarrassed himself and he's lucky if he ends up this night without Bucky realizing Sam has feelings for him, but he is Captain frigging America. If he has to go down, he will go down fighting.

“What you are, it’s a nuisance,” Sam says. “And a creep. Who the hell pretends to be asleep when they are actually awake?”

“I wasn't pretending, you just assumed I was still sleeping.”

“Anyone would assume that, if you don't say anything.”

“I thought you were going to move as soon as you woke up, it's not my fault you didn't.”

“I was trapped between your heavy ass and your cat. What's your excuse for not moving?”

The argument comes to a halt, an awkward silence stretching between them as Bucky lowers his eyes, scratches the back of his neck. He clears his throat, shrugs.

“Your shoulder is nice,” he says in the end.

It's Bucky's turn to blush, a darker pink dusting his cheeks, and Sam feels like he missed something important.

“My shoulder?” Sam repeats.

Bucky doesn't answer him for a moment, then he straightens up on the couch, rolls back his shoulders like he is bracing himself. He looks up at Sam, and all Sam can see are his eyes.

“It’s comfortable,” Bucky whispers. “And I always sleep better when you’re around.”

Sam's mouth is suddenly very dry, and his heart is drumming against his chest in a way he has come to associate with diving down in midair, or dropping from a high place before his wings open up. This, too, feels a little like falling.

“Buck,” Sam says, because he thinks they are on the verge of something here, but he needs to be sure, doesn't want to mess this up and do something he's going to regret just because his head wants so desperately to see what's not actually there. “You gotta tell me if I'm reading this wro--”

Bucky kisses him.

It's a short kiss, just a soft press of Bucky's lips against his own and he's already gone, moving back to look at Sam with wide eyes, face open and vulnerable.

“Okay?” Bucky asks, and if he didn't sound so uncertain, like he's expecting Sam to push him away at any moment, Sam would laugh at how much of an idiot they both are.

Instead, he holds Bucky's chin between his fingers and pulls him back in. The kiss is deeper this time, turns into a wet slide of tongues and a harsh grate of stubble that makes Sam's insides feel tangled and hot. Bucky's arm slides around Sam's waist, and Sam moves his hand from Bucky's chin into his hair, grips it in a way that makes Bucky exhale sharply into his mouth. Sam wants to touch him everywhere, and he moves his free hand to do just that when a long, loud meow interrupts them.

They break apart just in time for Alpine to jump on the couch and sprawl in the space between them.

Bucky huffs out a small laugh, pets her from head to tail. He looks lovely, with his hair sticking up in odd places from Sam's fingers raking through it, his lips red from kissing, and Sam itches to go back for more, to lay him down and map every single part of Bucky's body with his mouth. He has, however, a horrible feeling about this.

“We will never be able to do anything with her around, won't we?” Sam asks, voicing his thoughts out loud.

Bucky sends him an amused smile. “Someone feels confident.”

Sam rolls his eyes, bumps their knees together. “Says the one who was about to climb on top of me.”

He's pretty sure he was the one grabbing and pulling Bucky closer, actually, but it doesn't seem like Bucky is going to call him out on it.

“It was a good kiss,” Bucky says, smile going soft at the edges, turning shyer.

“It really was,” Sam agrees, and because Sarah is always right, even if he'll never admit it in front of her, he adds, “Wanna go out on a proper dinner, see a movie? Maybe do the kissing part again?”

He's not expecting the way Bucky's lips drop down at those words, and Sam's heart sinks. Maybe he did read this wrong, after all. Maybe Bucky wanted to keep things casual, no string attached, and Sam just ruined everything. He tries to tell himself it was better to know that now, before things got too serious on his side, but it gives him very little comfort.

Bucky takes a deep breath, lets it out in a huff. “I don’t know, man,” he says. “If you make me watch another one of these godawful movies I’m afraid I'm gonna have to break up with you before this relationship even starts.”

Sam blinks at him, then bursts out laughing, sudden and loud. “God, you're an asshole,” he declares, but there's no heat behind it, and when he searches for Bucky's hand, Bucky intertwines their fingers together, places a kiss on the back of Sam's hand as an apology.

“I’m lucky you have terrible tastes, then,” Bucky says.

Sam really has questionable tastes, and if you had told him a few years ago that this was how his life was going to turn out, he would have probably laughed, or worse, tried to stop it from happening. But now, sitting there with Bucky grinning at him and Alpine purring between them, he feels lucky too.

#i don't have a solid enough grasp on the english language for any of this and yet here we are #you can easily spot where i didn't know what the hell i was doing #when i say im literally losing my mind over these two..#most self indulgent thing i've ever done im sorry for subjecting you to it #sambucky #winterfalcon #sam wilson #bucky barnes #alpine #also - embarrassingly enough - i started to write this before the video of bucky saying he wanted to move in with sam #otherwise i would have made them roommate

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autisticzukka · 3 years

Note

what is this hakoda zuko arranged marriage you speak of? i am intrigued

okay so the long story short is that it’s a slight rebuttal of a popular post that is very fun but i find like... unrealistic in a really intriguing way like, how would this ACTUALLY play out. I’ve talked about it at length in my server a few times, and it’s one of those AU’s -- like the genderbend zukka ATLA rewrite or the zukki fic that starts with sokka failing to assassinate zuko -- that lives rent free in my head and I’ve written a couple thousand words for.

tw for like VERY unrequited zuko in love with hakoda and the inherent comedy of sokka being in love with his fire nation stepmom.

so here’s hakoda, chief of the southern water tribe, happily not-married to Bato. and here is a more balanced war, where the north and the south are actually allies, rather than whatever the fuck they were in ATLA. Yue already has a fiance and the Northern chief refuses to remarry. that leaves hakoda responsible for biting the bullet and doing a political marriage even though, as he points out at length, he is an elected official and if he stops being elected it’s no longer a marriage with the chief of the south pole. intelligently but mostly selfishly motivated (yue’s fiance is his nephew, after all) pakku points out that its not like the fire nation knows... that. the fire nation is dumb. ozai’s stupid.

faced with such inarguable points hakoda stiffens his upper lip, pre-emptively ends things with bato on the understanding that if this is another kya situation they’ll get back together and that he’s still the most important person to him but the tribe comes first yada yada, and deals with katara throwing the mother of all tantrums. it is slightly softened by the fact that in return for him marrying the fire nation noble, a thing everyone can agree isn’t traditional, the north has finally agreed to train katara. she heads out before the wedding, in protest but also so as to not cause an international incident.

(on her way, she’ll find aang. with the war less dire, katara will be sympathetic towards his desire to live without committing violence, even if she deeply can’t relate. they’ll have a hot girl romcom summer of self discovery and coming to terms with the dichotomy between duty and love as they become master benders. at some point they pick up toph. they ARE a throuple.)

sokka meanwhile is like.. not cool with it.. but ? kind of relieved? like. he’s the eldest kid. he’s 18, and he’s been a man of the tribe as far as legalities for several years. it would have been entirely understandable if his dad had asked HIM to do it. he had his emotionally crushing romance with yue, and as much as he was like ‘im kind of a prince’, he finds he doesn’t actually want some of the responsibilities and demands that would bring. yue’s life sucks.

back in the fire nation, zuko never demanded a quest and never went on it. he’s spent years hardening into something that, while brittle, can survive the pressures of the court around him. he still has his scar. he still wants his father to love him, but he knows by now that it’s not something he’s capable of earning. he watches his sister, never the most stable person, start to have complete breakdowns of sanity once she hits puberty, and helps her cover for it and receive medical treatment on the down low. he’s the heir, but he lives knowing that if he was ever in a position to inherit his choices are to abdicate or have the baby sister who he raised kill him and destroy herself and the country in the process.

when he realizes the plan is to marry azula off rather than someone more reasonable-- mai is RIGHT there, for fucks sake-- he doesn’t realize ozai’s true intent is to fuck this up through malicious compliance and false shows of good faith. he panics, and does the zuko thing: he blurts out that this is unacceptable and immoral and she’s only 16 and Ozai sees the true opportunity for two birds with one stone. send zuko, let him piss someone off so badly he gets killed or divorced, and he gets rid of zuko from the line of succession permanently. there are those who are incredibly attached to teh idea of a firstborn for firelord, and it’s been a constant thorn in unpopular ozai’s side to nto be able to name azula his heir apparent without costly rebellion. but if he can taint him in the mind of the fire nation so much that birthright is easy to supercede-- yeah. this’ll work PERFECTLY.

so zuko is sent to marry hakoda, chief of the water tribe.

literally NO ONE was expecting it to be a member of Ozai’s immediate family. besides the fact that his oldest child is half hakoda’s age and his brother has 20 years on hakoda, it would have been sus as fuck - the treaty is not favorable enough to grant that kind of secession of interests. it becomes quickly apparent that this young man -- hakoda reminds himself of that repeatedly. not kid. not kid. young man. don’t think of him like a kid, it’s hard enough on both of us already. -- is not a horrible threat. he’s scared shitless and shakes with what he thinks is bravado. he’s desperate to make the marriage work. he’s desperate to not go home. he’s got a giant fucking scar on his face from where the fire lord punished him for some grievous but unstated offense.

zuko “daddy issues” fire nation sees his husband to be and, despite being scared shitless, immediately begins to soften a little. like... he’s not nearly as scary as he thought he’d be. his face can be stern, but it just as easily breaks into huge smiles, and his eyes are crinkled with laughter. he’s incredibly handsome. and his biceps are. his biceps. are. his hands are...

like. zuko thinks. okay. maybe. maybe his marriage duties. won’t be so horrible as he thought. maybe he’s ready for this. and he knows what to expect, Uncle had discreetly provided him the means and the contacts to acquire an intimate education in the whirlwind of activity that was the two months before leaving. and like, once he’d gotten past the nerves, it was often even... good? or at least... not bad? he thinks that even if hakoda isn’t a professional expert, he has a certain.... je ne sais quoi, if you will.

((DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF DILF))

sokka sees his new stepfather and immediately falls in love because he’s that kind of dumb bitch. (the core of this au is that i cant breathe thinking about sokka falling in love with his hot young stepmom his age who his dad doesnt even want to fuck. like. i CANT. sokka masturbates to ‘hand caught in the washing tub’ fantasies which are even more absurd for requiring zuko to be DOING LAUNDRY. i find it so funny.)

bato watches them at the wedding feast while hakoda is very clearly trying to treat zuko as an Equal Adult Partner and mostly managing to seem like someone having a serious conversation with a seven year old about the game they’ve made up. zuko is clearly enamored with it, soaking up the attention, blushing and doing his best to Bravely Flirt, which at one point includes awkwardly attempting to feed Hakoda by hand. bato has to excuse himself to have a teary eyed giggle, hoping that Kya is in the spirit world looking down and laughing with him. he can’t resent the kid even a little bit, when hakoda is sitting there looking so incredibly fucking befuddled as to what he’s supposed to do with this star struck infant he’s legally wed to

anyways all of this... is very funny. their wedding night... is less so. zuko does not take the rejection from hakoda very well, especially because he’d been caught wanting. HE’S the one who should be rejecting hakoda. and he catastrophizes almost immediately about his potential value to the water tribe, his future treatment, that endless inescapable freezing cold loneliness is the good ending for him here... hakoda, meanwhile, drops zuko off at his home, reassuringly informs him that there’s NOTHING else expected of him and he will be well taken care of, and books it to bato’s. bato refuses to let him in on grounds of ‘you can’t sleep under the same shelter as me on your wedding night to that kid, have a fucking brain’, and he ends up crashing at sokka’s.

sokka, who had KNOWN that his dad wouldnt, but also upon seeing zuko and zuko’s awkward flirting was like... but how COULDNT he???? sokka is relieved.

the core of this fic is that i find it endlessly hilarious for zuko to try and seduce his husband while sokka simps around zuko and bato tries to be heartbroken or betrayed but mostly ends up with a giant case of hysterical schadenfreude. but the thing that CLINCHED it for me, like THE scene. several years after being married, settled into their life. they’re partners and they see each other as people. and zuko just fucking snaps one night

he just kisses him, desperate and clawing and climbing and maybe a little drunk. he knows hakoda is going to push him away, maybe even hit him, but he doesn’t care anymore, he doesn’t care. he can do anything he wants to him as long as he just-- finally does something. zuko is 21 and married to the surface of the sun and the surface of the sun jr is his best friend and clearly in love with him-- so clearly not even zuko can miss it-- and like. listen. listen. zuko is not a patient person. but he’s been patient for this. he waited and he matured and he is a fucking amazing husband and he wants this, he wants him. he wants to be wanted.

but hakoda doesn’t push him away. hakoda doesnt yell at him, or hit him. hakoda gentles the kiss into something soft and closed lipped. he pulls away slowly, and his eyes are so sad for zuko, so pitying. he strokes his cheek with the back of his hand so gently. he says, I’m sorry. I don’t want you.

and zuko daddy issues fire nation swallows

and he nods

and he leaves, even though its his own fucking house

and he knows he’s never going to be good enough

like FUUUCK i am OBSESSED WITH THAT

#long post #lmao i am NOT fucking main tagging this #op #asked and answered #i just want zuko to fall in love with hakoda and for hakoda to gently reject him #noncommittalhum

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obeyme-kaidii-writes · 4 years

Text

Alone (2/2)

Leviathan x gn!MC

Content Warnings - implied/reference self harm, self harm scars, LOTS of angst, kinda Yandere Levi, setting healthy relationship boundaries, happy ending

Summary - After talking to Mammon, you manage to figure out what’s wrong with Levi and the two of you have a serious heart to heart, setting some important boundaries. PART ONE HERE

Chapter 2 - After

You had barely been able to concentrate during school. Your thoughts were full of Levi and what had happened this morning. You weren’t sure what had caused him to snap like that, but you were willing to bet it had something to do with why he was so upset yesterday. Now if only you could figure out what had upset him then, you might be able to figure out a way to help.

You sighed again, as you poked the food on your plate. It was lunch time now and normally you would be texting Levi to see how things were going in his classes and to update him on your day, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do that until you got your thoughts in order and had a proper conversation with him.

“Whattya sighin’ for? Ya been doing it all day and it’s startin’ ta get on my nerves.”

Though he was trying to sound annoyed, you could tell that Mammon was concerned. He had apologized to you while helping you prepare breakfast for crashing your date with Levi yesterday. He knew he should have changed his plans once he realized everyone else wanted to tag along. (He didn’t bother to try to deny the fact that he still would have shown up on his own if it had been possible.)

You had been quick to forgive him, which Mammon appreciated, but he also wasn’t sure you had been really listening to him all that much. Your mind had seemed to be elsewhere. Normally he would have called you out on it too, demanding you pay attention to The Great Mammon and act a bit more grateful he was helping you out. But he got the feeling that even if he had said anything it wouldn’t have made a difference - you just seemed that distracted.

“Hey. Ya gonna tell me what’s up?”

His voice had softened now, the teasing tone gone. You looked up to see Mammon watching you intently. You tried to offer him a smile, but you were unsuccessful and the face you made was somewhere between pain and worry.

“I...ummm...promise this stays between us ok? You can’t tell ANYONE. And you have to promise that you will not try to do anything about it. Ok?”

Mammon did not like the sound of that. He furrowed his brow, but agreed nonetheless.

“I...I got in a fight with Levi. I think at least. I’m not sure. This morning he just wasn’t...well, he wasn’t himself. And it kinda scared me. So I left. And we haven’t talked yet. I don’t even know what to say to him.”

Mammon listened closely to your words. He still didn’t know what happened, but he could tell you were doing everything you could to avoid saying it. A fight with Levi? Pfft. What did you do? Insult Ruri-chan? How could you not be sure if you had a fight? And what do you mean Levi wasn’t….

“HE WHAT?!” Mammon jumped to his feet, ready to head home immediately and beat the living daylights out of his younger brother. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. That pathetic, whiny brat transformed on you?! What the fuck was he thinking??

“Mammon! Please! Calm down!”, you pleaded with him. People were staring now and you really didn’t want to cause a scene. The last thing you needed was more trouble with angry demons, upset because you disturbed their lunch.

Taking one look at you, Mammon sat down with a huff. He was still ready to rip Levi limb from limb, but had promised you that he wouldn’t try to do anything about what you had told him. He’d just have to come up with some reason to teach him a lesson later.

“Fine.”

“Thank you. It wasn’t like it was on purpose…”

“That’s even worse!”

“...He was just so upset. He was scared of something, but I don’t know what. And he just kept asking me not to leave.”

“So what are ya gonna do? You’re not seriously going back to him, are ya?”

“Of course I’m going back to him! Don’t be ridiculous. He didn’t actually DO anything. He got upset, but he let me go.

I just...need to find out what happened to him that got him so worked up. Everything seemed to be going so well until yesterday afternoon when y’all showed up at the tea house.”

“Oh.”

“What do you mean ‘oh’? Do you know something I don’t?”

“Errrr...well…kinda?”

You were glaring at Mammon now. ‘Kinda’ my ass, you thought.

“Alright alright! Stop lookin’ at me like that! I’ll tell ya! Sheesh.

Ok. So look. Levi’s the Avatar of Envy right? Means he gets jealous real easy. Up until now, y’all have sorta been off in your own little world and haven’t paid much attention to the rest of us.

But yesterday, we all showed up durin’ your date, yeah? When Levi wasn’t even at the table.

So I’m thinkin’ he saw us all talkin’ and havin’ fun and whatever and got jealous. And that’s what set him off.”

Ah. That made sense. Why didn’t you think of that earlier? How could you possibly be so dense as to not notice that your own boyfriend was jealous?? He’s the personification of Envy for crying out loud! You knew that! Jealousy should have been the first thing you suspected given the timing of everything.

“Ughhhhh,” you groaned, leaning back in your seat, covering your face with your hands. Just how oblivious were you?

“So, this morning, when he was saying all the stuff about not wanting me to leave….”

“Probably ‘cause he was feeling insecure and scared ya’d leave ‘im for good.”

You let out another loud groan of frustration at your own stupidity. You didn’t mean to, but you had hurt Levi unintentionally. No wonder he was upset. You knew that didn’t excuse his behavior, especially him grabbing you, but it at least gave you a place to start so that you could try to work things out with him.

“Thanks, Mammon. Don’t you dare let anyone ever make you feel like the stupid one, you got it? You’re a lifesaver.”

“Whatever,” Mammon replied, blushing. You couldn’t help but laugh. He really was a great best friend and you had never been more thankful that he was part of your life than right now.

————

“Levi? Hey, I’m home.”

You knocked on his door again, but still no response. You had been expecting that though. So taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you opened his door and let yourself inside.

What greeted you, was an absolute disaster. Figurines, plushies, books, and DVD cases were scattered everywhere. One of his computer monitors was even on the floor, cracked and ruined beyond repair. Your chest tightened as you surveyed the damage. What had happened after you left?

Careful of where you were walking, trying to avoid stepping on anything as best you could, you moved further inside the room to look for your Leviathan. When you found him, he was curled up in his tub, still in his demon form with his shirt removed. Seeing him like that made you gasp, and you had to fight back tears. He just looked so broken. His face was red from crying and stained with dried tears, his hair was a disheveled, tangled mess, and you saw what had appeared to be claw marks all over his chest, that by now were mostly healed but still appeared very fresh.

Without another thought, you slipped into the tub with him, spooning him from behind, pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder. You knew you still needed to talk to him, but you had to make sure he was alright first before anything else. He wasn’t going to be able to listen to a thing you said if he was still as worked up as he had been. Levi continued to sleep, breathing steadily, and you knew he must have been exhausted. Pulling the blanket up to cover you both, you settled down, snuggled behind him and went to sleep.

————

As Levi started to wake up, the first thing he became aware of was the blanket covering his body. He didn’t remember covering himself up and wondered when he had managed to do that. But while he was pondering about the origins of the blanket, he started to become aware of the warmth that was pressing against his back, and the arm draped over his side.

His breath hitched, and he desperately fought the urge to immediately turn around. You couldn’t possibly be here. There was no way you could. After what he did...he choked back a sob as another flood of memories and anxieties washed over him.

“Levi, you okay?”

That was your voice. There was no mistaking it. It was so soft, and clear, and soothing. Cautiously, Levi rolled over so he was facing you.

“Hey babe,” you whispered, brushing the tangled mess that was his bangs out of his eyes so you could get a better look at him.

Levi couldn’t hold it back any longer, and broke down again, in a mixture of relief and regret now that you were right in front of him. His guilt still weighed heavily on him, but he was so incredibly happy that you were here.

As you watched Levi cry, you did the only thing you could and wrapped him up in a hug. You didn’t want to tell him everything was “alright” because it honestly wasn’t, so you decided on “I’m here” as you rubbed gentle circles on his back.

“I’m here, Levi. I’m here.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.”

“Hey, shhhhh. We will talk later ok? Just calm down right now, alright? I’m here. We will talk later. I promise.”

Levi nodded, burying his face into your shoulder, careful not to stab you with his horns. He had tried to shift back to his human form when he first noticed you, but he was still too anxious and agitated to manage it.

It took a good hour for Levi to finally calm down enough to talk to you. At some point his tail had become entwined around your leg, but his hold was gentle. You could tell he was being cautious and you appreciated it and the intimate gesture.

After another moment of silence as Levi gathered his thoughts, he started to apologize:

“I’m sorry,” Levi said, “I shouldn’t….I shouldn’t have grabbed you….”

Levi struggled to get his words out. His throat burned and felt so raw. But he knew he needed to say this. He needed to tell you how he felt and that he knew it was all his fault. He knew you were going to leave after you finished talking, so he had to make sure he said all he had to say before that.

“Thank you for saying that,” you replied, kissing his forehead, “I mean it. I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

You could tell he had more to say, so you calmly waited, rubbing his back gently and resting your cheek against his head, reassuring him that you were still here and ready to listen.

“I saw you with my brothers yesterday and...I just...I got jealous,” his voice was scarcely above a whisper now, but he kept going, “And, I...I...I know that you have to be disgusted with me after that. I know that...who wouldn’t…”

“Disgusted? Why would I be disgusted with you?”

“Because. Because I was jealous. And that’s not good, right? Good boyfriends aren’t supposed to be jealous. If I’m jealous that means I don’t trust you, right? Or that I’m a loser...which I know I am...but still. I shouldn’t have been jealous…”

“Aw, Levi, sweetie, there’s nothing wrong with jealousy. That’s normal. Everyone...”

“No! You don’t get it. I was really really really jealous,” he pulled back so he could look you in the eyes, desperate for you to understand just how despicable he was, “Really jealous. Like lock-you-up-and-never-let-you-go, yandere type of jealousy.”

“But you didn’t Levi; you did let me go.”

“It doesn’t matter! I still felt that way! I...I...I...still feel that way. Even now. I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay here. Forever. And I don’t care if it makes you hate me. I still….I still don’t want you to leave me.”

You listened carefully as Levi spoke, piecing together how he was feeling bit by bit. This sounded like it was more than just the incident at the tea house that had bothered him. It seemed like this is something he had been struggling with and battling all on his own, hiding it from you out of fear. The thought made you pull him close again, and he didn’t even attempt to resist you, he just melted in your arms.

There was so much you had to say to him now that you had a clearer picture of what he had been dealing with, that you scarcely knew where to begin.

“Ok Levi, I’m going to talk now alright? And I need you to listen. Don’t interrupt me. Just listen. Ok?”

He nodded against your chest, he knew what was coming. This was the part where you would tell him how awful he was and how you never wanted to see him again and how much more wonderful all his other brothers were and how you regretted ever…

“I love you, Levi. You’re...well you’re my favorite person. The first one I always think of. The first one I want to share good news with. The first one I want to see when I’m upset. It’s you. It’s all you.

I want you to tell me these things. Please. It’s ok to be jealous. I get jealous sometimes too. And well, I think because you tried to hide it and keep it to yourself...I think that’s what allowed it to fester. But if you had talked to me about it? If you had talked about it, we could have worked something out. Together.

I mean, we’re supposed to be a couple right? So aren’t we supposed to solve problems together? That’s all I want.”

“How am I supposed to tell you that I want to lock you in my room and never let you leave? How is that supposed to help? It’s not like you’re suddenly going to let me do it. All it would do is prove what a twisted pervert I am…”

“...I might.”

“Huh?!” Levi jerked back once more so that he could see your face. He had to be sure of what he was hearing. You...wanted…him to lock you up…? That can’t be right. There’s no way you’d sink to his level of depravity, even if you were only doing it to comfort him.

“I said, if you were to ask me, I might let you lock me up.”

Levi was now frozen in place. His brain was misfiring and he didn’t know if he should laugh, cry, or just be plain embarrassed. Why were you saying these things? Did you even understand what you were saying? You couldn’t just say something like that. Here he was trying to control his darker urges and you were...encouraging them.

“We could do it like any other kink. Come up with a safeword. Have a plan in place. Talk about what was allowed and what wasn’t. I don’t see any reason not to, honestly. And if it’ll make you feel better, and give you some sort of outlet for your anxiety, then all the more reason to.”

He really didn’t know how to process this. He had just revealed the darkest, ugliest parts of himself to you, and you weren’t even batting an eye. He had assumed you were going to take off running at some point during the conversation and never look back, but you were still here. You were still talking to him, still trying to understand him. And he just couldn’t believe it. How could you love him so much?

“Hey, I mean it, Levi,” you reached out and cupped his cheek, stroking it gently with your thumb, “This isn’t something I want you to keep to yourself. You should tell me these things. You HAVE to tell me these things. If it’s something simple I can fix, then I can fix it. And if it’s not, then we can come up with a way to reassure you, and help you work through those emotions. Just...trust me a little, please?”

He wasn’t sure when, but at some point he had started crying again. But these weren’t the sad, angry, bitter tears from before. No, these were tears of pure relief. You understood him. You accepted him. You weren’t disgusted by him. He couldn’t put into words how happy that made him right now, so he just nodded again and held your hand closer to his cheek.

“So now that we are on the same page...do you think you could tell me what it was you were so worried about yesterday?”

Levi didn’t even need to think about it now, of course he would tell you. He’d tell you everything. His demonic form was finally fading away, and he curled up as close as he could manage next to you, wanting to feel more of your warmth.

“I...umm...just...well…you looked like you were having a lot of fun with my brothers. And I well, I wondered if you had been having that much fun with me...because I didn’t really talk with you yesterday. I just sorta did my own thing while you watched…”

You were struggling not to laugh now. You really needed to keep it together because you didn’t want Levi to get the wrong idea, but it was a battle that was more difficult than you would have thought possible under the circumstances.

“I’m sorry Levi,” you gave him another kiss to his forehead before resting yours against his, closing your eyes, “I’m not laughing at you I swear. I’m just laughing at the situation I guess? I mean, I don’t know what you saw when you found me sitting with your brothers, but I can promise you I was not enjoying myself. Frankly I was beyond pissed. Mammon I understood you know, because he’s always tagging along...but for everyone else to show up? It infuriated me.

And as for you being excited and ignoring me...sweetheart, that’s why I took you there in the first place. I know how much you love that stuff. And you are just so incredibly cute when you’re in your element and enjoying yourself. So I took you there knowing full well what I was getting myself into. That was the entire point.”

Well, now he just felt foolish. Everything he had been worried about...the anxiety that had been eating at him for the past 24 hours...he could have avoided it all if he had just talked to you earlier. He hated how simple it was.

“Is there anything else?” you asked, checking in on Levi as he continued to come to terms with the fact your idea of a good time included watching him be the biggest dork he could.

“Oh yeah, I guess. I uh, I wasn’t trying to ignore you yesterday. After we got home I mean. It was just like...like I couldn’t even hear you. I mean I could hear you...I knew you were talking...but I didn’t know what you were saying.”

You had to smile at his confession just now, maybe he hadn’t realized it before, but that was far from the first time he had stopped being able to verbally respond to you. There were plenty of other times where he had been stressed, that he just opted for laying near you and zoning out while you played with his hair or you cuddled and watched a movie together.

“I know, Levi. I get it. I don’t know if you realize this but...that’s not the first time something like that has happened. And I didn’t think for a moment you were ignoring me on purpose, ok?”

Levi breathed another sigh of relief. You were amazing, so incredibly amazing. How did he manage to be this lucky? He knew there had been other times where he had struggled to respond to you, and he thought you hadn’t noticed because you never said anything to him. But it turns out you knew the whole time and had already decided to embrace that along with the rest of his quirks.

The two of you continued to lay there in comfortable silence, holding each other close. You were hoping against hope that you had gotten through to Levi, and that he knew how much he meant to you and how willing you were to work things out with him. Telling you everything, and laying it all out there couldn’t have been easy for him. He was self conscious enough as it is about normal things, you couldn’t imagine how much resolve it had to have taken for him to open up to you about this.

Now that the anxiety, tension, and fear had left Levi’s body completely, he found himself struggling to remain awake. He wasn’t ready to sleep yet. Sleep was a waste. If he slept, you really would have to go.

You could see how much of a fight he was putting up to remain awake. His eyelids kept drooping, and his head would occasionally bob, before he’d jerk himself awake once more. So cute, you thought.

“Hey, why don’t you get some rest? I’m gonna get started cleaning things up. But I promise I’ll still be here when you wake. I won’t go anywhere without telling you, ok?”

Levi nodded, he was so exhausted at this point, and your permission was all his body needed to stop its attempts at resistance. The last thing he remembered before he drifted off was the feeling of your lips on his cheek as you climbed out of the tub, and tucked him in.

————

Leaving Levi in the tub, you set to work tidying up his room. If you were being honest, you wished you could stay by his side and get some rest yourself, but you knew that this had to be taken care of first. You didn’t want Levi to see the damage he’d done to his room when he had been in his demon form, because you were sure he wasn’t even completely aware of what he had been doing. If he saw things as they were, you imagined it may only send him into another guilty spiral of anxiety, and you didn’t want to chance it. You would just have to explain things to him later.

As you worked, you couldn’t help but think of just how upset he had to have been. He loved his collections. He treasured them and went through great pains to preserve them so that they could always be enjoyed in perfect condition, as intended by their creators.

But seeing everything scattered about how it was only served to remind you of the depth of his self loathing. He had been doing so well as of late, that you nearly had forgotten just how dark his thoughts tend to turn. For every thing you loved about him, he had something he hated about himself.

And while he was proud in his declarations of love for his interests, he also was very much aware how people viewed him because of it. You wished you could get him to see himself as you did. Then maybe he could learn to have just a tiny bit more confidence, and just be slightly less anxious all the time. You didn’t want to change him - you just didn’t want to see him suffer.

Just as you placed the last figurine back in its rightful position, you felt your DDD vibrate in your pocket. It was Mammon, and he was checking in on you.

“Hey. Everything goin’ alright? He’s not refusin’ to let you leave, is he?”

You were about to type a reply, when another message came through soon after,

“If ya don’t answer me I’m comin’ over there and kickin’ his ass.”

He was looking out for you, and it warmed your heart. You had dumped a lot on him earlier, and he had been so supportive and understanding. It couldn’t have been easy for him, you knew, to let you go back and see Levi again after the things you had confided in him. Mammon was insanely protective of you. And you really couldn’t blame him, especially considering you had had a couple near death experiences at the hands of his brothers, Levi included.

“I’m fine. Levi is asleep.” You sent your message through quickly, before deciding to send along another with a new selfie attached as proof of your condition.

“Good. Stay that way. Dinner is soon.”

You smiled as you flicked the screen of your DDD off, and slipped it back into your pocket. Looking over the room once more, you felt a tiny bit proud at how well you had done restoring order.

You didn’t notice it, but Levi had woken up a little bit ago and had been watching you work. He was so grateful to you for cleaning things up, even if he was embarrassed that you had to have seen him like that. The fact that you managed to return everything to its rightful place was a testament to how much time you had spent with him, and how much attention you paid to things he was interested in, and it made him feel so incredibly loved.

His memories from most of the day were fuzzy, as they usually were whenever he lost control of himself like that. He was thankful he had managed to keep it together long enough for you to leave this morning too. He didn’t know what he would have done if he really had hurt you, instead of just taking out his anxiety on himself. The thought made him shiver, and as he pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders, he realized his shirt was missing.

His cheeks flushed once he remembered that only a few hours ago you had been snuggled up close to him, and therefore had to have noticed. Even though it made no sense after everything else that had happened, the realization embarrassed him greatly. You may have already been intimate plenty of times before, but letting you see him naked outside of those times still felt awkward.

When he looked up again, he saw you smiling at him. You had been watching as he tried to cover his body with his blanket. The fact that he was blushing and embarrassed about his state of undress helped you relax. If he had the wherewithal to care about that, you knew he was going to be alright.

You walked over to him, and knelt by the edge of the tub, crossing your arms and resting them on its side. Levi looked away from you now that you were close, and you reached out to tuck some stray hairs behind his ear. It was a sweet gesture, but entirely unproductive given the state of the rest of his beautiful purplish, blue locks.

“Hey you. How are you feeling?”

“Better. Just a little tired, I guess.” He gave you a sheepish smile, “Umm, thank you. For cleaning up. I know it had to have been a hassle. Sorry you had to see things like that. But ummm...thanks.”

You shook your head, “Don’t worry about it. That’s what I’m here for. I mean, you’d do the same for me right?”

Levi blushed again, and gave you a small nod. Of course he would do the same for you. How could you possibly think anything else? He might not be as eloquent as you, but he definitely would have done his absolute best to be there for you. He wouldn’t have abandoned you, that’s for sure.

“I uh...think I need to shower. Before dinner, you know.”

“Hmm, maybe I should join you,” you teased, a smile playing at your lips.

“Yeah, maybe you should.”

Now it was your turn to be embarrassed, and your face flushed crimson. You were used to being the one with the upper hand, and you weren’t sure how you felt about this sudden role reversal. But one thing was for sure - you certainly enjoyed that hungry, needy look in his eyes as he waited for your response.

#gn!mc #tw: self harm #tw: self harm scars #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me levi #levi x mc #obey me fanfic #obey me comfort #obey me angst #levi comfort #levi angst #levi fanfic

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snickiebear · 3 years

Note

Hello hello nadia, i’m in a leesaku mood today so pls indulge me with a three-sentence fic for this lil prompt “you are my best friend and I’ve known you platonically for years now but every time you look at me I get fireworks in my chest and butterflies in my stomach” tysm ilyyyy ❤️❤️❤️❤️

haha... this is, two days late. NIASDUKDSK IM SO SORRY THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST YOURE THE BEST ILY

side note: this is.... kind of what you wanted? AND LMAO ITS NOT THREE SENTENCES AGAIN WHOOPS

side side note: this is now crossposted bc i liked it a lot tbh :")

a cocoon in the heart, a spark in the brain.

It starts with a glance. An innocent, fleeting look. Naruto’s smile is too bright to look at for more than a handful of seconds and Sasuke’s glare is too dark to find anything of interest, so Sakura glances away, as she always does.

She glances away and there is Lee, dirtied and bloodied but he holds Neji’s hand, Tenten tucked under his arm, and is laughing, tears streaming down his face. He must have felt her eyes because he looks over and sends her a beaming smile.

And. And her heart picks up, her breath catches.

She quickly looks over to Naruto and Sasuke, being blinded by the light and dark both, and tries her best to not think of why one look from Lee can breed butterflies and moths in her stomach.

They rebuild the village and everyone endures. Sasuke leaves once more because he is a boy who has never known staying, he has never stayed long enough to put roots in, to know how to stay. So, Naruto and Sakura let him go.

(If she is being honest, Sakura is more than happy to have him leave. Sasuke will always be a rotten fruit in the tangle of her feelings, something that she will never quite understand, something that will haunt her no matter what she does. If he is not there, she does not have to think about it. He’s like a curse, and it hurts her to think that but it is true.)

Kakashi is the Hokage and Sakura is still laughing at him, clutching her stomach and howling at her friend’s “misfortune” as he calls it.

“Mah,” Kakashi half drawls, half pleads. “Must you laugh at your poor ex-sensei?”

Naruto is losing his absolute shit as they clutch each other to stay standing. “Kaka-sensei you do not look good in white.”

“It,” Sakura gasps, wiping tears from her face, “It-It really washes you out!”

Naruto’s knees give out and they both tumble to the ground, a mess and tangle of laughing limbs and leaking eyes.

Kakashi sighs heavily from his desk but she knows he’s having just as much fun as they are. Kakashi is her best friend, she knows how he is when he’s drunk out of his mind and when he’s trying to bite back laughter.

The door swings open and Lee steps in with Team Gai flanking him. Neji recovered incredibly well thanks to Sakura’s magic hands (as Naruto has deemed them) and they’ve been taking low ranking missions since he was deemed fit to return to duty.

It takes a few moments for Sakura and Naruto’s heaving, snorting laughter to subside as Kakashi clears his throat, his eyes crinkling up in the way Sakura knows he’s really trying not to laugh.

She looks up and glances at Lee, to find him already watching her, his eyes soft and smile softer. Sakura is a God Slayer along with Naruto and Sasuke, she has faced down hundreds of opponents with only her raw fists and come up victorious, she has dragged people back from the brink of death with a tap.

Sakura does not blush. Out right refuses to.

“Hey,” All breathless and raw from laughter.

Lee’s smile widens as he steps forward to offer his hand, she takes it without hesitation and thanks the God whose heart she ripped out that he was wearing gloves. She can feel the heat through them nonetheless. Sakura does her best not to shiver as their eyes meet.

“You guys heading in or out?” Naruto asks after he hauled himself onto his feet, not hiding the way he eyes Lee and Sakura’s hands. The entire room’s eyes are on them.

“In,” Tenten says slowly, and Sakura does not blush as she carefully extracts her hand from Lees and does not think about why there are fireworks exploding within her mind, why she misses the heat and the way his hand encompasses hers.

She sees him everywhere now.

At the Rusty Kunai, at the training fields, at lunch, sometimes even in the hospital. And every damn time he smiles at her, she feels like she’s coming back to life and being stabbed in the heart.

Sakura has no idea if this was love or just lust. What she felt for Sasuke was not love, that was obsession and cruelty. She had crushes on civilian boys but they were too soft, unmarred compared to her countless scars, visible or not.

Ino stares at her as if she’s the stupidest person in the world and Sakura smacks her for it. She hopes it leaves a bruise. The Bitch. “Stop giving me that look, Pig. I’ll hit you again, don’t tempt me.”

Ino glares as she rubs her arm, sticking out her tongue. “It isn’t my fault you aren’t using that big forehead of yours! You’re telling me that you two drink together, train together, you go to lunch together, he even visits you at the hospital because he knows you haven’t eaten or slept. And then you tell me you get all those stupid fluttery feelings and you don’t know what it means?”

And well. When she puts it like that. . .

Sakura pouts and crosses her arms, “It's confusing!”

“You’re a genius. An actual genius, Sakura.” Ino deadpans. “Your IQ is literally right next to Shikamaru’s. Lee has been in love with you since we were twelve! There is no way you don’t know what this means.”

Groaning, Sakura slumps into Ino’s lap, hiding her face in Ino’s thigh. “When did you become so smart?”

“When I made out with Hinata and then fucked her.” Ino says easily and Sakura laughs. “What? Don’t laugh! It's true!”

Ino cackles when Sakura pinches her calf.

Lee moves with such elegance that Sakura aches with it.

This boy made man who had known nothing but sweat and hardship, who still cups things with such tender and care, who moves so fluidly and hits so brutally.

They are both the earth, solid and unyielding, they are the water, the hills, the mountains. They are unbreakable because they have broken themselves apart, pushed themselves past the very limit to reach where they are.

Sakura and Lee are 20 and they have saved the world.

Now, they tear apart the training grounds just to keep life interesting.

With every dodged fist her heart quickens because Lee is smiling and laughing, calling friendly taunts as she grins right back.

This is nothing like Team 7’s spars, all bloodied teeth and snarling as Sasuke underestimates her again and again and again. Kakashi, Sai, and Yamato know better. Naruto is learning slowly. Sasuke never pays attention enough to know.

No, sparring with Lee is like dancing, is like thriving, and a fresh breath of air at night as fireworks light up the sky and a butterfly lands on your nose.

She lands a kick to his ribs and spends him flying back as she advances swiftly, pinning him down with a hand on his chest, knees on either side of his hips.

A long pause as they try to catch their breathes.

They’re both breathing heavily, Sakura cannot tear her eyes away from him as he reaches a hand to tuck loose hair behind her ear.

“Lee,” She breathes, ignoring the way her face burns and the way butterflies have swarmed her insides, how her heart is raging against her ribcage. “Lee I-”

“Sakura.” Lee says, voice deep and rumbly and cracking. “Sakura, will you go out to lunch with me? Forever. Well, hopefully forever- you are so very Youthful, you are incredibly Strong, you do not need my protection, but Sakura, let me protect you anyways, just as you will me. Sakura-”

She channels her inner Ino and leans down to kiss him, all lips, teeth and tongue. His hands settle on her waist and he flips them without breaking contact and if they weren’t in public, well. . .

Sakura pulls back breathless and wide eyes before forcing the words out, “I’ve known you for years Lee, you’re one of my best friends.” Her hand on his chest can feel the way his breath catches, the way his heart is pounding. “Everytime you look at me I get fireworks in my chest and butterflies in my stomach. They’ve bred and infested my very insides, my brain blooms and rots with the thought of you.”

He is shaking beneath her, staring at her as if she is Divine and Righteous and she cannot think of anything else she would want except his eyes on her.

“Lunch?” She breathes, hand at the base of his neck. “I would like to have lunch with you. Forever. If the offer still stands.”

Lee smiles wide and bright as he stands, pulling Sakura up with him, “The offer will always stand, Sakura. For you, there is very little I would not do.”

She kisses him again and hand in hand they go to lunch.

Facts:

The very first day Lee saw Sakura a cocoon formed within his heart, everytime after that more would form, more would crack.

The butterflies and moths have a home in his heart but only come alive when they see her.

They never die, no matter what he does.

He saw her crack the world open with a first, saw her tear open a God’s chest. He was the first thing she looked at after. He thought he would become alight with it all.

Lee loves Sakura. He always has, he always will. His heart has a butterfly garden full of fireworks just for her.

Her laugh makes his skin prickle, makes his muscles loose. He is addicted to it.

She looks at him like she sees the green of the trees and the blue of the sky. Lee revels in it.

Sakura loves Lee and it nearly breaks him.

He will take her out to lunch until the day they die and well after.

The butterflies and moths and fireworks never go away for either of them. It is the beauty of it all.

#leesaku #silly things from silly friends #sakulee #a shared pen

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lollybliz · 4 years

Text

bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights. Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm. “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

#fic rec #bnha #mha #tododeku #todobakudeku #kiribaku #shinkami #shindeku #erasermic #To Be Continued

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Text

Decided to post chapter 2 separately because I’m proud I finished something for once lmao

Part one here —>

Sasuke pulled his phone out once again to call (now both of them) a Lyft, but Naruto stopped him by lightly swatting at his arm with both of his hands.

“Naaaah Sasuke, lets walk! It’s not too far.”

“It’s fifteen minutes. And for some reason you don’t have a jacket.”

[[MORE]]

Sasuke kept his phone in his hand, but he paused his thumb over the screen. It was after midnight. He was looking skeptically at the drunken boy beside him when Sasuke’s mind flashed back to the challenge they had both accepted earlier.

He decided that he wasn’t too eager to get home to his bed where he would be forced to confront...whatever emotional ramifications that whole situation would definitely cause him.

“M’not even cold.” Naruto supplied casually, throwing his arms back behind his head with a grin.

Sasuke thought he could hear his heart in his ears again, but sighed in resignation and started walking forward, leaving Naruto staring dumbly after him.

“Fine, let’s go then.”

Naruto caught up easily and they walked in companionable silence for the first few minutes, enjoying the way the alcohol made the night sky swirl pleasantly above them. It was surprisingly clear.

The moon was nearly full, or maybe it was just waning, but it’s glow provided a dim white lighting that paired well with the warm buzz of the occasional street lamp.

Naruto particularly enjoyed how the differing hues colored the dark hair of his walking companion, and the way the shadows contrasted on Sasuke’s notably paler skin.

But he realized suddenly that he’d been openly staring at Sasuke in the near darkness and tried to discreetly turn his head away in fear of being caught.

He wasn’t sure what made him want to walk home, but something was bothering him.

“I can’t believe you almost turned down a dare, Teme.” His voice was sudden in their silence, but the softly teasing tone as he bumped their shoulders together felt natural to Sasuke even while it caused them both to stumble a bit as they walked.

“Idiot, I wasn’t the only one they dragged into that dare. I wasn’t about to accept something that made you-“ uncomfortable? Disgusted? Question my feelings for you- no-

He snapped his mouth shut and felt his lips tug downward at the corners slightly. He opted to leave the thought unfinished as they rounded a street corner, finally turning onto the street that led to their neighborhood.

Shit. Shit shit. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but he thought for sure Naruto would just let the situation slide by, at least during their walk home.

Naruto snorted.

“And you call me an idiot,”

Sasuke glared at him reflexively, but it was admittedly softened by the variety of booze currently in his system, leaving him with more of a pout than anything. The expression on the Uchiha’s flushed face had Naruto’s grin widening even further as he finished his thought.

“You know I’d do anything for you.”

Sasuke was about to reply when Naruto suddenly jumped up onto the long, narrow edge of the cement planter they were walking alongside.

“You’re drunk. Get down.” Sasuke continued walking as he spoke, his words lacking conviction. There was no stopping Naruto from doing whatever reckless thing he wanted to do in the moment.

“Alright, let’s do it.”

Sasuke closed his eyes as Naruto’s words from earlier rang in his ears once again.

“Yeah, right. Unlike some people, I don’t back down from a challenge.”

“Nobody challenged you to make a stupid decision on our walk home.” And as if to punctuate his words, Sasuke turned his head just in time to see Naruto slip a bit on the edge of the concrete before steadying himself and holding still for a moment to ensure his stability.

The blonde boy gave him an overly confident double-thumbs-up before starting to walk forward, only to immediately slip once again from atop the slippery, raised concrete.

Sasuke instinctively reached out to catch Naruto by the arm before the idiot could fall back entirely into some stranger’s yard; the only problem with that being the poignant lack of coordination both of them were currently inflicted with.

The shocked gasp pulled from Naruto’s lips was the first and only thing Sasuke managed to register before the reckless boy’s body collided with his own, landing roughly on top of Sasuke as his back met the pavement, effectively knocking the wind out of them both. It was a graceless crash; a rough slide of fabric and skin against damp grass and gravel in the near pitch blackness.

“This-“ Sasuke managed to get out, both of them catching their breath, “-is why I call you an idiot. Just by the way.”

Naruto winced as he leaned up on one elbow from his fallen position over the Uchiha, opening his mouth to defend himself before snapping his jaw shut as realization struck him about just how close they’re current positions left them.

Sasuke watched with rapt attention as Naruto’s words left him suddenly- head pounding from both the collision with the pavement and the alcohol that still coursed through him. Naruto didn’t stop his eyes from falling heavy-lidded to Sasuke’s lips, causing the boy beneath him to lick them instinctively. Naruto licked his own in response.

Sasuke swallowed thickly, mind racing.

“We need to get home.” He spoke softly, shocked at the gentleness in his own voice. The crisp stillness of the night air and their close proximity made the moment feel incredibly fragile and Sasuke couldn’t stand it. But he made no move to push Naruto off of him just yet.

The deepening blush on Naruto’s face had nothing to do with the alcohol.

“Shit, sorry, you’re right-” He moved to stand up but Sasuke groaned loudly as Naruto’s knee pushed down on him painfully hard. “-fffuck, ah, Sas, I’m so so sorry-“

Sasuke slapped his hand over Naruto’s mouth, raising his other arm to bury his eyes in the crook of his elbow. He let out a slow sigh.

They lay quietly on the sidewalk for a moment before Naruto gently removed Sasuke’s hand from his mouth.

“...are you okay?” He spoke much more softly this time, truly concerned and clearly feeling guilty.

Sasuke moved his arm a fraction away from his eyes to glare up at the boy still on top of him in the damp grass.

The light from a single streetlight several feet away was enough to cast a faint, warm glow along the right side of Naruto’s face as the boy looked with worry down at his friend.

Sasuke thought the soft orange hue suited him nicely as it caught on his cheek bone and wrapped along his jaw, casting shadows alongside the three pale scars across his cheek, accentuating them drastically.

Sasuke was tired and his body hurt and he was starting to think that maybe he was sobering up, but evidently not enough to stop his hand from reaching toward the warm, glowing face just a few inches above his own.

He traced his thumb across the symmetrical lines that marked Naruto’s cheeks for as long as he could remember, noting the warmth beneath his touch and feeling mesmerized by it.

Sasuke swore Naruto was holding his breath as the Uchiha raised his other hand to mirror the first on Naruto’s other strikingly warm cheek.

“...I’m okay.”

He felt Naruto leaning down just as Sasuke decided to pull him in.

His lips still shocked Sasuke with their soft warmth, despite having tasted them less than an hour ago.

Naruto let the breath he was holding out through his nose as their lips moved in time with one another slowly and deliberately, vulnerable in the open night air amongst the shadows and colliding hues.

Sasuke was just sliding his hands back into Naruto’s hair when the sharp clang of a metal fence startled him enough to break their trance.

Both boys turned their heads abruptly, faces burning in embarrassment over having been caught red handed, but Sasuke immediately felt his shoulders relax back into the grass when all that met his gaze was an orange cat sat beside a fence one yard down from where they lay on the sidewalk.

Their bodies were halfway in the walkway and halfway in the grass that lined the pavement on the side of the road. Anyone walking down the street would have stumbled across the two of them.

“We should get home.” Sasuke spoke without turning his gaze from the cat, despite seeing Naruto turn his head back down towards him.

There was a prolonged beat of silence between them as Sasuke continued to watch the cat stroll languidly across the street.

Without a word in reply, Naruto got to his feet (being extra careful where he placed his knees) and offered a hand to Sasuke.

Sasuke regarded him briefly before accepting the warm offering and allowing himself to be pulled back up to his feet. He hissed through his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut as his head pounded angrily in response to the shift. He cursed himself and immediately tried to quell his physical responses to the pain.

Naruto looked at him apologetically as Sasuke rubbed the back of his head, carrying most of his weight on his left leg, although Naruto didn’t think anyone but himself would’ve noticed the slight change in posture. Sasuke opened his eyes only to see Naruto grinning at him in a way that made him instantly wary.

“What are you doing?”

“Lemme carry you.”

“Tch. Don’t be dense, you’re too drunk to even properly carry yourself.”

Naruto ignored him and turned around, kneeling down in front of Sasuke and holding his arms out in the offering of a piggy back ride. Sasuke dragged him back up by his collar and started walking forward without releasing his grip.

“Wha-Oi! Oi-Oi-Oi- Sasuke!” Sasuke snorted satisfactorily as Naruto floundered at his side. The boy could definitely break out of Sasuke’s grip if he really wanted to, but instead he snaked both arms around Sasuke’s waist from his position behind the slightly taller man, startling the Uchiha into releasing his grip on Naruto’s shirt.

“Naru-oh fuck, Naruto!”

Naruto cackled triumphantly as he lifted Sasuke by the waist and brought him up to his chest in a bridal-style carry.

“I swear on everything you love, put me down right-the-fuck now, Naruto-“ But instead of listening to the seething boy in his arms, Naruto simply gave his most wicked grin and took off in a sprint in the direction of their apartment. He hadn’t even let Sasuke finish the threat.

Sasuke gripped Naruto’s shirt like a vice in response, more than sure that they would both eat shit before they made it home. Again.

But Naruto’s hands seemed firm and steady where they held him close to his chest. Fuck, Naruto was lucky he was still a little drunk. He would absolutely still kick his ass for this later, though.

The thought of his sweet revenge kept Sasuke sane as the wild boy kept on trudging toward their shared appartment with seemingly wreckless abandon.

Sasuke Uchiha does not get carried.

But when Naruto set him down at their front door less than a couple minutes later he found himself speechless, even though he wasn’t the one currently out of breath.

The blonde boy was panting harshly at his side but he rested his hands on his hips triumphantly, standing tall. Sasuke rolled his eyes and pulled his keys out of his pocket, turning to unlock the door as he spoke.

“I’ll go ahead and add the fact that we’re both still alive right now to your list of drunken achievements.” The door swung open and Sasuke heard Naruto shut it behind them only seconds later.

“I’m going to bed.” Sasuke said once he’d somehow successfully taken his shoes and jacket off.

“Wait- Sasuke.” Naruto’s tone sounded incredibly too sober and intense for Sasuke’s comfort but he paused in his tracks and glanced back at Naruto nonetheless.

“What is it?” He was rightfully proud that he was able to control the tremor threatening to bleed into his voice.

“What happened earlier, between us..”

“You mean when our so-called friends forced us into a physically vulnerable moment while drunk off our asses? Or when you fell like a novice and made us both eat shit in the middle of our neighborhood?”

“The, uh...the physical vulnerability.”

Sasuke glanced down, he couldn’t help but think that that response could apply to either moment.

He remembered how good Naruto’s weight had felt fully pressed on top of him on the sidewalk, despite the pain of the fall. And how close they’d been- how it had felt to finally, properly kiss Naruto instead of the agonizing, shadow of a kiss they had felt during that damn Pocky Challenge-

“What about it.” It wasn’t so much of a question as it was a challenge- a challenge for Naruto to just come out and say it.

Say what Sasuke was dreading- to confront the tension that had started between them the moment they began living in the same room together in their freshman year- and the unrelenting, confusing and mesmerizing bond they’d felt even before that, before either one of them could remember. That strange tension between the two of them that felt both comfortable and terrifyingly electric, like the smallest breeze could send it all crashing down around them, all the while knowing that they could remold the broken pieces into something even more beautiful-

“Well, I mean, about the challenge- we really didn’t-“ Naruto swallowed, stepping closer to Sasuke “-we didn’t really finish it did we? I mean, the way they showed us...”

Naruto didn’t stop approaching him until Sasuke felt his back hit the wall of the hallway leading to both of their bedrooms. He hadn’t even realized he was backing up until that moment and he decided that he was never drinking again if it made his reflexes this bad.

“I just wanna-“

“Naruto...”

He felt an all-too-familiar and impossibly warm grip on his hips, the warmth on either side of him lowering his defenses despite his ingrained apprehension. He found his space was crowded with a mix of their energy, like a palpable buzz between them as Sasuke closed his eyes.

“The way they finished it...”

Sasuke felt Naruto’s breath against his own lips and parted them ever so slightly in response.

Sasuke’s mind raced as their mouths collided for the third time that night. The rhythm this time around came to them as naturally as the changing of the tide, ebbing and flowing to accommodate their occasional gasps for air.

The fingers on either side of him tightened as a tentative, exploring brush of tongue eased his mouth open.

Naruto tasted like tequila and warmth and, though he’d never admit it, everything Sasuke had imagined countless times before.

“Naruto-“

Sasuke broke their kiss as the name escaped his lips, leaning his head back against the wall, suddenly overwhelmed and apprehensive.

“S’uke..”

Sasuke shuddered involuntarily beneath the breath of the blonde in front of him and felt himself swallow thickly. He dared to raise his gaze, eyebrows drawn closely together as he took in the flushed, tan cheeks before him. Naruto’s own gaze was hooded and dark in the dimly lit hallway of their apartment and Sasuke braced himself with a harsh grasp on each of Naruto’s exposed biceps.

“You’re..you’re drunk. We should go to bed.”

“Come to mine?”

Sasuke closed his eyes once again, his mouth suddenly going dry. It was a bad idea. It was a terrible idea. Why was he so tempted? Why couldn’t he even begin to form a refusal on his lips? Dammit.

“You’ll regret it in the morning.” He spoke, impossibly soft, which he instantly regretted, cheeks flaring up despite his frustration because Naruto was laughing at him-

“Teme, this isn’t anything new. Don’t you see it?” His eyes sparkled, shockingly clear as they searched Sasuke’s.

And he was right. Sasuke knew he was right, but it still felt like a punch to the gut to hear Naruto admit it so openly. After all the years of agonizing over his own feelings, Sasuke had truly begun to think it was hopeless.

Sasuke snapped his mouth shut, not realizing he’d let it fall open until just then. He glared daggers at the boy still only inches away from him, Naruto hadn’t even removed his hands.

“Idiot. And you waited for our stupid friends to dare us?”

“Oi, you’re one to ta-“

Sasuke dragged Naruto back toward him by the collar before he could finish, once again crushing their lips together in a way that he was sure would never get old. They both smiled into the kiss, any reservations having flown rapidly out the window at this point.

A light scraping of teeth against Naruto’s bottom lip earned Sasuke an instantly addicting groan and warm fingers digging deeper into his hips.

“You mentioned something about going to your bedroom?” Sasuke spoke quietly into the space between their barely parted mouths.

“Oh, hell yeah.” Naruto spun on his heel and began dragging Sasuke down the hallway.

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he was once again being dragged around by Naruto, but he didn’t even try to fight the smile quickly taking over his face.

#oop #naruto #naruto uzumaki #sasuke uchiha #sns #sasunaru #narusasu #mine

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