#im listening to odin again

[bugsinthebayou]

hrgh awagh. ough. raphaella la cognizi.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Hello Im happy your request box is open again. Can I request yandere ror x kagaya ubuyashiki!reader?

Ubuyashiki family is known for their soothing personality and presence, causing everyone who listen to them feel at ease and they show respect at the family especially to the leader. The yandere characters are not an exception and they fall hard to the reader. They want to protect her also because she has sickness/curse. Its your choice what will happen in the story.

Gods are odin, thor, loki, poseidon,hades, hermes, heracles

Humans are lubu, qin shi huang, jack the ripper and nikola tesla you can add adam but yandere platonic

-When the gods and warriors of humanity had been invited to meet with the leader of the Demon Slayer Corps, after demons led by Muzan invaded Valhalla, they didn’t know what type of person to expect.

-Many thought being the leader of the Demon Slayer Corps, after meeting many of the corps members and the strongest of the bunch, by the title of Hashira, that you were going to be a fearsome warrior, one that drove fear into the hearts of many.

-They were not expecting you, a petite little female, wearing a beautiful dark green yukata with a haori covered in fall maple leaves all over it, being guided in by your much younger siblings.

-The curse that had taken you when you were alive on earth was still apparent on your otherwise beautiful skin, covering your eyes, leaving you completely blind. While you were no longer in pain due to this curse, as you died in your prime, shortly after your eyes were taken, you still carried the curse and were weak as a result.

-Due to your curse, you never had children, it wasn’t safe to do so, but your younger siblings who you died protecting before they followed, were still young enough to be safe from the curse, and they would never be infected as they couldn’t age.

-All members of your corps, including the Hashira, all kneeled, bowing their heads to you, greeting you as the leader and your guests were all quite surprised to see that you were the leader.

-Despite not being a warrior yourself, the warriors under your care and guidance, and Kojiro, a longtime friend of yours, all treated you with so much respect that it was a little unnerving.

-Your voice was gentle, like a ringing bell, it was smooth and calming, “Thank you all for coming, Rengoku, you were the one who came on behalf of these warriors, you may lead this discussion.”

-Rengoku bowed his head to you as your little sisters helped you kneel down onto your floor pillow before they sat on their own pillows behind you.

-You mostly listened, hearing your corps members talking about where the demons had been spotted while the gods and warriors provided layout information of the different pantheons and more information about where the demons are attacking.

-When things started to get heated you lifted a hand and instantly your demon slayers went silence, bowing in apology as you spoke, your voice soothing, “Anger will solve nothing my dear ones, it will only lead to more problems. We’ve been discussing things for a few hours now. Everyone is dismissed for a break.”

-Your corps members thanked you, not willing to argue but Zeus approached you, sitting nearby, “Wouldn’t it be wiser to continue and wrap things up?” you looked in his direction, your smile soft, “I know you and many others, myself included, would like to have a solution to everything at the moment. But taking a break and getting some to eat would refresh our bodies and minds and make it easier to think more clearly.”

-He chuckled softly, stroking his beard, “You are young, but you are very wise. Very well, we shall take a break.”

-The room quickly became quieter as everyone left to go get something to eat or rest and you dismissed your sisters to do the same, Tanjiro beaming at you saying that he would take them with him, Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Nezuko, which you smiled softly at, thanking him.

-Once everyone seemed to be gone, you turned your head to the side, “Are you not going with them?”

-He flinched, surprised that you had sensed him so easily as he stood and approached, taking a seat in front of you.

-He was silent for only a moment, “How did you sense me so easily?” you smiled gently, it looked so beautiful, “Losing one of my senses years ago helped me train my others to be more sensitive.” He nodded softly, not bothered before he asked you more questions, asking about the corps and how it was that you were the leader when you were so young. He felt a sort of pull to you, wanting to protect you, keep you safe, you seemed so helpless, but he knew you were anything but. His desire only seemed to grow when he asked why you weren’t married and you gave a soft, humorless giggle, “Not many want to marry a woman who is doomed to die from her curse. I can’t even have children safely without risking myself or the child. I was unmarried on earth, and here I remain the same.” His eyes instantly hardened, feeling anger for you before taking the plunge, “Would you marry me?” you were honestly stunned, lifting a hand to your face, “Oh my- you’re quite bold aren’t you. Please don’t tease me like th-” his hands cupped your own between his, “I’m not joking, I would love you, Y/N. I don’t care if you can’t have children, I only want to love you and be at your side.” your cheeks warmed, turning red as you pulled back, your free hand lifting to hide your mouth, “Hearing you actually say it is so different than seeing it in a precognition vision.” He chuckled softly, relaxing, remembering Brunnhilde mentioning that you were able to see glimpses of the future. His hand was gentle, holding your own, stroking the back of your hand gently as you gave him a small nod, which made him inhale deeply, feeling overwhelmed with happiness, but did nothing other than lifting your hand to his lips, pecking the back of it as he made a promise to make you happy. You knew he was telling the truth, he was going to make you so happy, if he survived your Hashira who were rather protective over you.

            -Odin, Poseidon, Hermes, Thor, Lu Bu, Hades, and Jack

-He chuckled softly as he stood, coming over, “You’re quite sharp, aren’t you?” you smiled gently as he took a seat beside you, to look out at the garden, “I could hear your breathing. Having lost my sight helped me strengthen my ears.” He chuckled warmly but nodded softly, not that you could see it, “You’re pretty amazing, Y/N, I hope you know that.” His words took you a bit by surprise, “Oh- you’re very sweet. Thank you.” He chuckled again before speaking, his tone a bit more serious, “But I’m serious, you’re fighting a curse but still leading all of your warriors, and you’re even leading us. You’re so calm!” You felt the breeze drift in from the garden, bring the scent of flowers with it, “A gentle breeze brings no damage, it only soothes, while a gale will only bring destruction and anger. Anger will solve nothing, it will only bring more problems, that’s why I try to keep others calm.” He chuckled softly, putting a hand on your own, surprising you, “Yeah, I get that, and you do it so well. Just sitting here with you, I feel so at ease, it’s almost like we’re married!” you smiled softly, reaching a hand over to his cheek, cupping it after you touched it, “You wouldn’t want to marry someone like me, I can’t even see you, and I can’t have children. You should be with someone who makes you happy.” His hand gripped your own, holding it gently, “That’s for me to decide, Y/N, and you make me happy, I don’t care about having children if I can just be with you.” You were stunned by his words but smiled softly, your eyes closing, “You’re very sweet.” He chuckled warmly, keeping ahold of your hand, but you did nothing to pull it away, it felt so warm, and you felt happy. You could feel what he was feeling, you felt so at ease.

-Loki, Hercules, Nikola, and Qin Shi Huang

[saraakpotter]

y\n babysitting Loki and Thor for 4 mins

y\c\n=your character name. your the actress and fans made this. (this is a start for a series and its not always the same story)

y\n was tiered. she just came home from filming y\m\m\n (your marvel movie name) she played y\c\n. she was Loki and Thor s sister and also the goddess of life. she quickly changed to her comfy clothes and opened her phone while eating the food she had cooked before leaving. Tom (Hiddelston) had send her a video ''y\c\n babysitting Thor and Loki for 4 full mins''.

y\n laughed at the title before clicking on the video. the intro came in that included some pictures of marvel movies and the name of the video then it started. the first was for Thor Ragnarok, it was the scene were doctor strange was talking about were Odin was.

"so earth has wizards now?" Thor said

y\n rolled her eyes: "just tell us were our father is!"

then it was time for him to bring back Loki.

strange opened a portal to were Odin was standing and Thor was about to go in "wait!" y\n said before he can go in   "something wrong?" asked Thor

"what do you think?" she turned her look to strange "Loki?"

"oh yes!" he opened a portal in which Loki fell from.

"I HAVE BEEN FALLING, FOR 30 MINS!" Loki shouts angry then pulls out his daggers. he wants to go forward when y\n uses her magic to make the daggers disappear Loki look at her confused."nope! not now." she says before Loki looks at strange with a threatening look.

"ummm.....bye!" strange says before pushing them into the portal.

The next video starts. its for (y\m\m\n:1). y\n remembers Thor s line! it was something humiliating for Loki. exactly then Loki made an innocent look at y\c\n but then she said "no Loki, no you cant stab Thor. again!"

"oh come on! he deserves it!" he says annoyed

"NO!"

he rolls his eyes.

the next videos were also from y\m\m\n. in this scene y\c\n was going to shield to check some files while leaving Thor and Loki alone.

"ok so i will be leaving for 2 hours! in that paper is everything you should not do" you said putting your cote on

"this just says 'no' you sure its correct?" Thor asks confused

"yeah i just wanted to stop you from making any possible mess."

in the next one y\c\n was reading a shield file when Thor and Loki come to her

"y\c\n i was thinking......" Thor starts

"no" she says not looking up

" you did not even listened!" Loki says

"i have seen your planes before, i dont need to hear this one!"

"but...." Thor tries to continue

"no"

"y\c\n....." Loki retries

"NO!"

the next one was also in Ragnarok. it was when Y\C\N and Thor were ,meeting Valkery.

" you know i wanted to be a valkery when i was younger!" Thor starts " but then i got older and found out they were only women s and.....i mean no...not that i have problem with women i love them! sometimes to much i just....."

"Thor.....shut up!" y\c\n says rolling her eyes.

"ok"

the next one was in the first parts of the movie. Thor was yelling at Loki " how could you? i thought you were dead! we mourned for you!" then he turns to y\c\n "can you believe him?"

"yes of course! he never dies!" you rolled your eyes at Thor s confused face

the next one was for 'Loki s1':

"wait so there are other versions of my brothers?" y\c\n asked mobius

"yes there is!" he answered

" oh no.....to of them are bad enough!"

the last  two ones were for for y\m\m\n: 2

in this one Loki hurt himself trying to protect some important object and y\c\n was healing his wounds. when it finished, she looked up and he smiled at her but she slapped him and then hugged him.

the last video was Thor snapping at Loki for something he did and ended lit by looking at y\c\n.

" i agree with Thor, we trusted you! how could you?" she shouted at Loki but before he could answer she turned to Thor and slapped him twice in the face "and....im the only one who can shout or hurt any of you! got it?'' they both nodded confused.

" now we will continue this later. we are in the middle of the road!"

the video ended with a 'thanks for watching'

y\n could not stop laughing and it got worse when she saw Toms text: i still think i didnt deserved the slap.

[agoracactus]

GOW x Reader - Real Life AU Pt.1

i couldnt fit everyone in here so i thought id do a part two for the aesirs. if u got anyone u wanna see lemme know!

question, would ppl wanna read odin x reader?

or mimir?

Warning: no proofreading as im doing this late with my eyes half closed again

Kratos

He came from a military family, was raised with strict discipline, which gave him a stern and rigorous manner.

He's a huge man, tall and very well-built. Very. Intimidating. You would have stayed as far away from him as possible if not for your curiosity.

At the start of your relationship, you relied a lot upon Atreus- Kratos's son- to be the middleman of your conversation. After a lot of "practice" and determination, you're now confident to read his emotions and have a general understanding of what he's trying to say (but not saying).

He was a general in his country, then got a dishonorable discharge. Got into business with the local cartel for a while, brought down the cartel single-handedly, and is now an independent contractor doing construction work. You often joke that he should get his life story made into a movie.

You love that under all the hard shell and tough demeanor is a big warm heart. While he secretly admires you wearing your heart on your sleeves- although he worries from time to time for you rarely let your guard up.

He doesn't talk about his past much, even after dating you for some time. It was frustrating at first, you thought he either didn't trust you or wasn't serious about the relationship. After some heated arguments, you two finally talked it out. You'd patiently wait till the day he's ready to open up about his past, and it would be perfectly fine if he never want to.

Speaking of heated arguments, it is rare to happen. He's a very logical person and straightforward. And slowly he's learning to open up and communicate more.

He had 2 marriages before, both gave him bitter-sweet memories. On your anniversary, with Atreus's help, you dug out the very few photos he had of his family, framed them yourself (with handmade wooden frames, you had multiple cuts following those tutorials on youtube), and gave it to him over dinner.

You were so nervous that he might see it as crossing his boundaries that you thought you'd throw up, instead he almost choked up.

You helped him hang up the photos on the entry wall afterward.

And he started liking his pictures taken especially when it's with you.

Atreus gave him a film camera for his birthday. So he started the hobby of photography, and even learned how to develop photos.

He writes poems for you.

You submitted some of his photos to a local photography contest, and he won the second prize.

He prefers the old-school stuff, for the life of him couldn't catch up with all the new techs. And he hated using smart phones. Later you found out it was because his fingers are too thick for a small smart phone screen, so you got him an ipad. Now he facetime everybody if he needs anything and puts the tablet by his ear to listen.

Drives a 4 -door pickup, and wouldn't let anyone drive his precious car. Not even Atreus.

You often buy him clothes, knowing he would look good in either style- also knowing that if you don't care about what he wears he would wear whatever flannel he has in his closet- often with some holes.

He does not care about whether it's hot or cold, he basically wears the same thing all the time. You don't know how he is warm when he's only wearing a t-shirt in the snow, while you wrapped yourself up like an onion

Not like you wanna complain though, it's nice to have a human heater in bed keeping your feet warm.

Has a friend called Mimir, a somewhat hippy-looking man. He helps with Krato's company's finance and other paperwork stuff. Unlike his appearance, according to Kratos, he's actually very smart.

You often wonder how these two people become friends in the first place.

adult!Atreus

Works at a wildlife rescue organization, and travels all the time to help all sorts of animals.

You two met on a rescue mission. He admires your compassion and love towards the animals, and you love his capability of handling hurt and tense beasts.

When you first met, he had a full head of braided locs. He claimed that since he couldn't grow a full and luscious beard, he overcompensate with his hair.

Likes braiding your hair, and you'd let him do it because he can do all sorts of braids and does it better than you.

Used to participate in archery tournaments when he was still in school, won lots of trophies and medals. Now he plays amateur games.

He brought you to an archery range for your first date. You being competitive thought it would be a piece of cake. But couldn't even draw the bow string.

You thought you were going to impress him, instead, he impressed you with extreme patience and well-articulated instructions. You were able to hit a target after half a day's training thanks to him.

He loves to read. You planned a treasure hunt at the bookstore for your anniversary, looking for books to gift each other and to read together. He always talked about it to his friends, showing off how thoughtful you are.

He just loves showing you off to people.

He's as stubborn as a mule. Whatever he set his mind to, no one could change his mind. Sometimes you admire his level of determination, other times you wanna bang your head on the wall.

He has a huge dog named Fenrir, Atreus rescued him when he was just a little puppy. The first time you visit his house, Fen tackled you- it was almost traumatizing. Atreus told you it was because Fen really liked you, and he doesn't usually take a liking to people.

Of course he would be a prankster, often pulling small pranks on you (harmless though), you are constantly amazed at how creative he is, and would often laugh at these pranks together.

At first you were scared of his father, a big man who rarely speaks let alone smiles. Sometimes you wonder if he really loves his son, when he barely gave Atreus any response to whatever he was sharing

Plus , what loving parent lets their kids call them "sir"?

Later in your relationship, after many childhood stories Atreus shared with you, you realized how wrong you were. You apologized to Kratos over family dinner.

When you two have a fight, he'd storm off, usually out of the house. He'd return after a few hours with flowers or other gifts to apologize, and would be cool to sit down and talk about your issues.

Freya

She's a florist/herbalist, has a dainty flower shop on the street where you live. Before you two got together you often went and got flowers for your mother.

She'd insist that you pursued her first.

Has lots of plants in the apartment, and a small herbal garden on the balcony.

If you're good with plants, she'd argue which plant loves her the most. If not, you're forbidden from even going near her babies.

The pair of you each own a cat before your relationship, but somehow both of the cats seem to like/obey her more.

She has published several books about herbalism, led a few workshops, and there's a small community on social media praising her work. You often joke that it's her little cult.

Your parents adore her, especially your mother. Whenever you two went over for dinner they'd hang out in the kitchen, cooking and chatting. To your parents, Freya would be the one to go to for opinions of stuff instead of you.

Your mother knits her a sweater every winter. You don't even get a hand-made sweater from your mother that often.

Had a marriage with a businessman before, and had a son who died in an accident. She has the son's photo on her phone's lock screen, and would curse every time the businessman shows up on the news.

Has a twin brother who she worries about all the time. He travels around and is rarely home, when he's home she'd cook him a meal fit for a king.

When she was young she had to work several different jobs to raise herself and her brother. Even though she doesn't have to worry about finance or her brother anymore, a lot of the time she still acts as a "mother", you'd have to remind her to lean on you more.

You two often go for a weekend drive, have picnics at the beach or in the forest, enjoying nature together. For some reason small animals like birds or squirrels- sometimes foxes and rabbits- love her.

Every month you two go help at the local rescue center on at least one of the weekends. It still amazes you how she knows herbal remedies for animals.

You'd apologize first every time when you had an argument. Most of the time it would be your fault anyways. Your queen could never be wrong.

Freyr

He's the lead singer/songwriter of a popular band, doing alternative music. The band has a decent amount of followers but their music is mediocre. You had a theory that most of their fans are in love with the band members, not their music. (He wouldn't agree though)

Very charismatic, often is surrounded by a bunch of people in social situations. It's hard not to feel jealous, but every time when he sees you from the crowd, he'd pish whatever conversation aside and get to you.

Sometimes you go visit him when he's on tour, his band-mates adore you, but would constantly make fun of him, saying he talks about you too much.

An indoor person, doesn't like going out very much. He claims that it's because he travels a lot for work, and he wants to be as still as possible in his spare time.

Has long hair, and often has it in a messy bun. Sometimes you'd feel playful and ask to braid his hair. He'd let you, and if he has a show in a few days he'd make sure the braids last till then, and would tell the whole crowd you did his hair.

He's a great cook, often cooks for you. He explained that he used to cook a lot when he was a kid.

Definitely a gamer, and is very competitive. Although he is not a poor loser, and would let you win if you lose too much.

Sings in the shower. Before you moved to a better apartment with better sound-proofed walls, your neighbors often come to knock on the door to complain about how loud he is. (yes other aspects as well he is looooud)

Obviously, he sings for you all the time. He claims that after you two got together, all of the songs he made are either for you or about you.

And he praises you all the time, you often giggle at the creative compliments.

He's more into anniversaries than you, insists that you celebrate every one of them. From the day you first met to the day you move in with him. Even when he's away on the tour, he'd make sure to send you presents/flowers and facetime you.

Also very into holidays, he makes sure he would be home during any of the holidays. Sometimes you two visit Freya and celebrate together.

Bought you a puppy for your birthday, though in fact he was the one who wanted the puppy. He fell in love at first sight at the store and insisted on getting the pup. He named the golden retriever Ingrid.

Has a twin sister, you've met her a few times. Every time you see her you think that "majestic" is the perfect word for her. Though she's very friendly.

You'd ask her about his favorite food, and cook it for him, surprising him when he gets home.

You two don't really fight, he'd make it up to you before you even get upset. And you are absolutely perfect in his eyes.

adult!Angraboda

She's an artist, known for her unique way of utilizing color.

You first met at her exhibition, you didn't expect to be fascinated by this random artist at the exhibition your friend dragged you to. Soon you became her number-one fan, showing up at all of her exhibitions.

She'd recognize you and come greet you every time, greetings gradually evolved into coffee and dinner dates. Then it became nightly phone calls. One night she just blurted out a confession over the phone.

You two share a studio apartment, allowing you each to have your own space while enjoying each other's company.

She's pretty messy. When you first moved in, her stuff was left everywhere, you could find brushes on the stove, remote in the fridge, and clothes on the back of every chair you own. You had to teach her how to be more organized (her manager was very grateful). Now she keeps her messiness in her own space.

She's an animal lover, owns two dogs and three cats. Whenever you two watch something together and some animal shows up, she'd wanna have them as a pet.

She doesn't drive, she either takes public transport or rides a bike.

She doesn't really like living in the city, and is saving money to buy a little country house.

A spiritual person. You always find some crystals in the house, sometimes, she'd drop some rocks in your bag claiming it would help with fatigue or anxiety. The apartment always smells nice with the burning incent.

She also loves to bake, often experiments with different recipes, adding a sweet and buttery smell to the apartment.

You learned how to meditate from her. When you start working from home, she'd grab you every afternoon to do a 30 min meditation.

You do weekly pamper nights together, having face masks on, rubbing each other's feet, watching movies, and catching up.

Eventually you two would move to a nice little country house. And slowly but surely she would turn it into a small farm with sheep and chicken and goat and other animals.

You would get a secondhand car so it's easier to get groceries. You'd give her a ride if she has work in the city, and have a launch date in your favorite cafe.

You two never fight, whatever problem you have you are always comfortable talking to each other.

[random-wyvern]

im listening to the bifrost incident again. i used to not care for odin (the song not the charcater) but i stand corrected. raphaella is so good......

[wolffoxnation2]

I said i was gonna rant and by the gods im gonna rant

[This is not gonna make sense and more me shrieking at the gods cus Loki is my blorbo and i hate that Rick fucked up and made him abusive when the first book was litterally implying that he cares about his kids and making him sympathetic.]

Love how i completely forgot Heimdall was there too between reading this in school and getting home lmao. My phone guy is just that forgettable.

ALSO THATS WHY YOUR DOING THIS? THATS THE REASON YOUR GOING WITH RICK?

They got roasted too hard so theyre gonna kill two innocent kids, mulitate their corpses and use those corpses to chain their father while dripping acid on him?

It was (slightly) more understandable when it was cus Baldur (even tho hes probably happier with Hel anyways) died.

Cus like an eye for an eye.... (even tho that was much more than an eye, more like two eyes, a heart and a leg.)

Actually no scratch that killing Baldur technically was an eye for an eye if you think about it.

(Odin took three of Loki's kids, Loki took his son, his daughter in law and then the same son again when he refused to cry to bring him back. Thats also three. Thats one of the reasons i excuse Baldur dying)

I know Magnus probably either didn't realise what was going on here or if he did it didnt register in his brain the whole story. Which, fair enough, directly after this he listens to Kvasir getting cut up by a chainsaw (good, its clear if it weren't for him Loki, Narvi, Vali and Sigyn would've been probably fine) and then watches Alex get thrown out by his.....sperm donor. So what happens to Loki is not at the top of his concerns rn but i really hope he confronts Frey about it later. Cus Magnus has been shown to emphasize with Loki on this. AND THOSE WERE FUCKING CHILDREN! AND THEY WERE KILLED BECAUSE THEY WERE LOKI'S CHILDREN!

WHO ELSE ARE CHILDREN OF LOKI THAT HE CARES DEEPLY ABOUT?

SAMIRAH AND ALEX

Basically i want Magnus to yell at the gods the way Percy does. Because like Luke everything was probably WAS the gods fault.

And before you come at me with the whole 'prophecy has to happen' thing. Save your breath because most of you have no problem with blaming the gods when it came to luke in pjo and this is kinda similar.

Who was to say that Fenris, Hel and Jörmungandr would have caused ragnarok if the Aesir (mostly Odin) didnt take them from their home and seperate them?

Whos to say Loki would start Ragnarok if Odin didnt break their oath and take his children?

Or :

Let his mouth get sewn shut after he got everyone shit (Sif's new hair, Mjollnir, Draupnir, Gungnir, Skidbladnir and Gullinbursti) because suddenly oaths matter now, Odin.

Kill his innocent children (its not stated in myth or mcga how old Narvi and Vali were/are but the general consensus is that they were young), possibly made him watch said children get murdered (Sword of summer its stated by Loki that the gods watched in amusement as Vali disemboweled Narvi but that could be hyperbole) and had a snake drip acid onto his face.

If there was any good in Loki at any point (which there might be. He actually seems pretty chill in sword of summer) then its been snuffed out now.

Thanks Odin.

You signed your death warrant.

Whats that saying again?

He who tries to prevent fate is doomed to cause it?

Or something like that i cant remember the phrase.

I have more to say yet i cant quite articulate it. So im gonna end it here.

Also i am really in the mood for writing a oneshot of the day they caught Loki in Loki's—or maybe Sigyn's? Pov.

[whumpdoyoumean]

A/N: So, I watched the new Fire Country and was annoyed at the lack of Bode whump. So here's a little something with my ideal version of how that scene in the woods would have gone down (with Vince having managed to actually keep Sharon from going to the fire which was definitely a trap). Spoilers-ish for 1x11, Mama Bear xxx Bode wants to kill him.

He wants to kill Odin.

He’s been angry before. Hell, he’s spent years of his life angry. Had plenty of reason to be, too. But never, ever has he felt fury like this, hot and raging inside of him like a living thing and he wants to destroy the man who’s threatening his family, both blood and found. Who’d almost killed Dolly and Paulie. Who’d set fire to the place that’s become something like home. 

Who’d tried to hurt his mother.

He wants to hit him until there’s nothing left.

Before he can, though, someone is grabbing him from behind, holding onto his raised arm, preventing him from landing a blow.

“No, no. B.” Surprise finds its way through the blinding anger as Bode realizes it’s Jake that’s speaking, his words breathless but firm as he keeps his grip on Bode’s arm. “Hey, listen. You hit him, and you become him.” 

The rage is still burning and Bode tries again to hit the man on the ground. Jake still knows him, though, despite everything, and he must sense it coming because his grip tightens before Bode even has the chance to move and all he manages is a small jerk of his arm. 

“Bode!” Jake is almost desperate now. “Hey. That is exactly what he wants. To take away your chance at the life you deserve. I swear to god, don’t you let him.”

Jake’s words somehow cut through the rage, and Bode finds himself calming enough to speak. “He wants to hurt my mom.”

“I know. I know, but we won’t let him,” Jake says, and Bode allows himself to be pulled backwards as two police officers run forward, dragging Odin to his feet and cuffing him. “See, the police are here, okay? He’s not going anywh--oh my god. Bode. You’re gonna be okay.”

Bode frowns in confusion at Jake's sudden shift in demeanor. “What?”

He looks down, following Jake’s wide-eyed gaze, and his eyes land on the small knife handle sticking out of the middle of his left side, wet dark blooming out around it, staining the orange of his uniform a deep crimson. Bode’s hands shake slightly as his right one reaches up, fingers wrapping around the cold metal. 

“Wait, Bode, don’t--” Jake begins, but Bode is already pulling. 

That’s when the pain hits. He’d had too much adrenaline before to notice the knife but shit he notices it now and he lets out a pained grunt as the knife slips from his grasp and hits the dirt. Blood starts flowing in earnest now, and Bode is hit with a sudden wave of dizziness.

“Oh, shit.”

“Okay, B, easy. Easy,” Jake says, easing Bode back so that he’s lying on the ground. Bode groans as Jake puts pressure on the wound, squirming slightly under his touch.“Hey, I need some help over here! Someone call an ambulance!”

There’s the sound of running footsteps, and then Manny says, “Bode? What the hell happened? Oh, geez…”

“Cap,” Bode gasps, looking up at the concerned face hovering above him. “Go--go get Gabby, please. Keep 'er away. She doesn’t n-need to see this.”

“I’m not leavin’ your side, Bode.”

“Please.”

“I got ‘im, Cap,” Jake says. “Bode’s right, Gabby doesn’t need this right now.”

Manny stares at him for a long moment and then nods. “Okay. Okay, Jake, but you--you don’t--” He swallows hard and lets out a loud breath. 

“I’ve got him,” Jake says firmly, "and we need a first-aid kit over here." Manny nods again before standing and walking out of the clearing. Jake watches him for a moment and then turns back to Bode. “How we doin’?”

“Hurts,” Bode says. “ But ‘ve had worse.”

Jake snorts. "Yeah, okay tough guy."

The circumstances are… less than ideal, but in that moment things almost feel the way they used to, and Bode feels a pang of something close to regret. He's about to say something when there's a sudden commotion, and he can hear the sounds of yelling and branches breaking. He tries to sit up but Jake quickly puts a hand on his chest, keeping him down.

"Whoa, hey. Steady there," Jake says. "It's just your crew."

"They okay?" Bode asks, trying to ignore the worsening pain as he grabs Jake’s wrist, trying and failing to move his hand. He cranes his neck as much as he can manage. "Someone hurt?" 

"No, B, they're fine. Fire’s out. They're just worried about you, man. You're the one who's hurt, remember? So you need to stay still so I can keep pressure on it, right?”

Bode frowns slightly. He’s not hurt that bad, and his guys need him. Jake takes his hand off of his chest and moves it back to keep pressure on the stab wound, and Bode seizes the opportunity to try and sit up. He regrets it immediately--the pain is deep and sharp, and he lets out a cry, his vision going black at the edges as he falls back into the dirt. 

“Damn it, Bode, stay still!”  Jake cries, as another familiar voice says, sounding distant and strange, “Oh my god. I--I got the first-aid kit. Is he okay?”

“Thanks, Freddy,” Jake says. “I need you to get out some gauze for me while I keep pressure, okay? Bode--Jesus--you still with me?”

Bode’s heart is pounding, breath coming in small gasps, but he manages a nod. 

“Do you believe me now?” Jake sounds like he’s trying to sound angry, but his worry is too obvious for Bode to buy it. 

Bode doesn’t say it, but the answer is yes. It’s starting to sink in that maybe Jake is right about him needing to stay still. Even as Jake presses gauze to the hole, Bode can feel the blood soaking his jumpsuit, can feel his own hands growing cold. 

“It’s bad, isn’t it,” he finally says. 

“You’ll be fine.” It’s Freddy that says it, but he sounds terrified and not at all reassuring. 

“He’s right,” Jake agrees. He sounds only marginally more sure. “You’ve just gotta hang in there til the ambo gets here.”

“It’s--it’s bad,” Bode repeats, and his heart sinks as realization hits him like a ton of bricks. “Oh my god, I fucked up.” He barely gets the words out before the tears start, feeling hot against his cool skin. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Bode, hey! What’s goin’ on, man? You’re gonna be okay!”

Bode squeezes his eyes shut tight in an attempt to stop the tears, then looks back up at Jake with watery eyes. “No, you don’t--you don’t understand. I--I got tested to see--to see if…”

“To see if you’re a match,” Jake finishes. “Bode, you can’t think about that right now, okay? You have to focus on you.”

“What if I’m a match and I can’t--oh god, I never should’ve g’n after him…” His tongue feels thick and heavy, and the words come out slurred and strange. He blinks heavily, and he can feel unconsciousness pulling at him. 

“No. No, Bode! Don’t sleep! Stay awake, damn you!” 

Freddy’s voice joins Jake’s, frantic and loud. “Bode, stay awake!” 

Bode forces his eyes open, fighting against the darkness at the edges of his vision, the sick dizziness that makes him want to close his eyes to get away from it. 

“Tell my parents--”

“Bode, no--”

“Jake, you gotta…tell my parents ‘m sorry.”

There are hands on his face and shoulders, shaking him, voices saying his name, but there’s nothing he can do to keep from slipping into oblivion. 

xxx 

[seen-the-stars]

found this in my drafts from like. years ago but go ahead. feast

marvel characters as shit my friends and i have said

bucky: at least i wasn't born a plant

tony: i want the dirty bean juice

peter: he's coming to get our asses with feels

scott: rip to odin but im different

wanda: time to be depressed while listening to atl,,, deprevibing

shuri: if im gonna end up at mcdonalds at least ill end up at mcdonalds with a masters degree

loki: snek

maria: she makes me wanna ✨jump out of a window✨

carol: the shookness in your face is beautiful.

valkyrie: AY lesbian shark

fury: vroom vroom motherfuckers

steve: i'm a specialist in going crazy over my own artwork

sam: imma not kick the box.

nat: im good now, 100% bad bitch again

clint: *raptor-like screech*

[love-islike-abomb]

Renegade: part 9

Roman reigns x OC Scarlet

Gif credit: @romanreigns

Warnings: im a practicing pagan witch And I asked Loki if it was ok if I used him in my story because I had a dream that was very similar to this chapter. As long as Loki says it's ok (he usually does) I will have him in my story. If you are a pagan and a fanfic writer and want to use one your deities in a story ALWAYS ask first!!

Tag list: @angelreigns444 @acknowledge-reigns

_____

After breakfast I packed a bag for him so that when he changes back he wouldn't be naked although I don't complain because... DAMN!! But it's little awkward for him.

"You ready baby?" He asked

"I'm still getting use to your gargoyle form but I'm ready" I smiled.

After he changed into his gargoyle form I hopped on his back"no spinning this time!" I giggled

"No promises!" He smirked.

He flew out the door and over the city. It looks so much different up here at night then it does during the day. "Its beautiful!" I smiled

"So are you baby girl" he smiled

I blushed and hid my face in his back. "What did I tell you about hiding your blush from me?" He smiled.

"Not to" I said lifting my head up.

"We're almost there!" He smiled.

I looked up and saw a beautiful lake with a waterfall. It even had a little cave behind the waterfall! When he landed and changed back into his human form I couldn't keep my eyes off him. I handed him his bag and he put on a pair of sweatpants.

"Did you bring your phone?" He asked

"Yeah why?" I asked

"When I was being taught how to change in command I found music helped me focus" he said.

"I have a song that I was playing earlier this morning when my hands glowed. I don't know if it had anything to do with it or not though" I said

"What song is it?" He asked grabbing a water out of the bag and taking a drink

"Valhalla calling" I said as he spit water everywhere

"What?" He said his eyes wide.

"Valhalla calling! It's a song I've listened to for years now" I said trying to figure out why he slit his water.

"Play it and let's see it if does it again" he said

I grabbed my phone and handed it to him leaving my headphones out so he could hear it to. The first verse of the song nothing happened. At the start of the second verse I felt heat in my face and the light started to come out of my hands. "fires are rising and the bells are ringing! Glory take us into Odin's halls" the green light for more intense when Odin's name was said "golden glammar and the sound of singing" my heart pounding I felt my own consciousness fading and someone else taking over "ASGARDS CALLLLLL"

My voice wasn't my own anymore "hello Joe my old friend! It's been a while!" I heard a male voice come out of my mouth "Loki?"

"Oh don't be so surprised! It's not like you couldn't have known!" I couldn't stop the things I was saying and oddly enough I didn't feel threatened. I felt relaxed and protected

A voice in my head began to speak "Scarlet don't worry! I'm not hear to hurt you. I'm here to help!"

"I'm not afraid!" I said "I'm worried about Joe!"

"Joe know who I am! We're old friends"

I heard his voice calling my name and slowly began to come out of my trance. "Joe" it was my voice again. I couldn't hold myself up any more. I felt my legs go and then everything went black.

[noodlecupcakeswritings]

A Second Chance - Chapter 5 (LokiXOC)

After the snap and losing her husband, Raven tries to settle on New Asgard with Thor and Valkyrie. But even after losing Loki twice before this time around doesn’t make it any easier. Until a variant of Loki shows up looking for her. Could this be the second chance they both need?

This the next fic in my canon Loki/Raven series. Obviously theres a big time jump from Thor (2011) to Avengers: Infinity War but this fic will tie up lose ends and cover that time jump at some point. So you will be filled in on what I have not written.

A/N: I am very sorry for the massive wait between chapters for this fic, was dealing with burnout and took a break and Im still dealing with day to day mental health struggles. But I will do my best to upload more regularly.

Warnings: Angst, Feels, Flashback chapter, Canon Character death, Technically no Raven in this chapter 

Chapter 5

Loki

After a drastic change in clothing and scenery, I was only given the bare minimum information by a small orange talking clock that called herself Miss Minutes. I was still just as clueless now as when the TVA had shown up. And what was more frustrating was learning that my magic didn’t work here, meaning I would have to go down the more difficult route if I wanted to escape. But if I could get one of their portal opening devices, I could go anywhere I wanted. And I wasn’t just limited to time and space. I could travel to an entirely different universe. Somewhere they wouldn’t find me.

Now I was sitting in what felt like an interrogation room, opposite Mobius. Whilst he claimed to be a fan and wanted to help, I couldn’t help but feel he was mocking me, being patronizing, and asking me completely irrelevant questions. Eventually, he grew tired of my metaphors and my refusal to believe that the TVA were the ones pulling the strings on everything in my life, in everyone’s lives. Pressing a few buttons on his computer, a scene was projected on the wall for us both to view.

It showed me being led into Asgard’s throne room in chains before there was a cold interaction between my mother and I. Whilst my mother was trying to lessen my punishment; I was still determined to push her away, as if she were to blame for all this. The scene changed to another interaction between us, mother was still trying to get through to me, but I was too stubborn, too angry to listen.

I didn’t understand what I was watching. It couldn’t be real; I didn’t recall any of this. “What is this?” I asked. “Your timeline. All the things that were supposed to happen, that have happened to another you. This is more of a highlight reel, though,” Mobius explained. “Another me?” “We’ll get that in a second.”

The scene changed again, showing me giving directions to a horned beast. “You thought you were telling them where Thor was,” Mobius spoke, “when really you led them to her.” I watched in horror as my mother’s death played out before me, a pit forming in my stomach. My eyes glassed over, and I averted my gaze, unable to watch any longer. “Stop it! If this is some kind of torture method, then you’ve made your point!” I declared.

Mobius fast-forwarded the tape, the audio continuing to play even as I refused to watch. “Loki, this is beautiful,” came Raven’s voice. Hearing her voice again hurt more than I thought it would, but it regained my attention. Even if it was just to see her through someone else’s memories. Raven and I were standing at the edge of a meadow on Asgard.

“I know I haven’t spent a lot of time with you lately, but I wanted to make sure we had our wedding anniversary together,” I said to her. We were soon sitting on a picnic blanket, sharing food, before I produced a square box and handed it to her. Raven opened it, her smile growing. She pulled out a gold choker shaped like a snake, its eyes made from emeralds, and put it around her neck. “It’s perfect, this is perfect. Thank you,” she said.

Scene after scene played out before me, Odin dying, Thor and I fighting side by side, the destruction of Asgard, and finally Thanos invading the ship for the tesseract. This was all too familiar to me, only this time it wasn’t Raven that was murdered by him. It was me. The footage ended and Mobius turned the computer off. “So, if I hadn’t taken the tesseract and escaped. If I hadn’t lost my wife and avenged her, I would have still died. All of that would still have happened?” I asked.

“It, technically, has happened. When you escaped The Avengers with the tesseract, you made an alternate timeline, meaning another you, he explained. “And Raven is alive in that timeline?” “Yes. She’s still alive.” Now I began to put two and two together. Mobius was using her as bait to get me to do what he wanted. But if it meant I could see her again, I’d do anything. It would be like her Loki had never left, I could replace him with ease and vice versa.

“I need your help catching a variant. I need someone who thinks like a Loki and who better than you? You do this for me, catch this variant, then I’m sure I can work something out and you can go to that timeline, be with Raven, and live happily ever after. But if you try anything or double cross me, then I’ll prune you myself,” Mobius warned. “Where do we start?” Mobius smiled, happy to hear I was going to be cooperative. The sooner I caught this variant, the sooner I could be with Raven.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mobius had agreed to let me have a few of Raven’s tapes, only when I made progress. It proved to act as further incentive, although he was very selective about which tapes he gave me. Thankfully, it was nothing from her past before she had met me; I didn’t wish to see the abuse she’d suffered as a child at the hands of her father. Each tape came with a timeline number, date, time, and location. November 23rd, 2013, Asgard.

Raven was led into the throne room before Odin by two of the guards. Her wrists and ankles were shackled together, the cuffs likely special so that she couldn’t use her abilities to escape, much like I hadn’t been able to use my magic. “Those won’t be necessary,” Odin declared. The guards freed her from her bonds before being dismissed by Odin, leaving him and Raven alone.

“What do you want?” She spat, “unless you’re going to let me go back to Earth after I have buried my husband, I don’t care for what you have to say to me.” “Raven-“ “You know, whilst I didn’t agree with all of Loki’s actions, I know that he only did them based on what he’d seen or heard you do as a boy. Everything he ever did was to impress you so that you would love him in the same way you love Thor! But nothing was ever good enough for you! You're nothing but a cruel old man who didn’t deserve either of his sons!”

I watched, completely stunned by Raven’s words, her bravery to stand up to my father in a way I never could. I half expected him to banish her or strike her down there and there. But strangely, he only smirked before his form changed to her Loki. He’d been pretending to be Odin after having faked his death. This took both me and her by surprise. “Darling, is that any way to speak to your king?” He asked. Raven’s surprise turned to anger in a matter of seconds.

“You had me believe you were dead this whole fucking time?!” Raven yelled as she stormed over to him. “I had to make it seem believable, I didn’t want to keep the truth from you, but I needed you to play your part,” Loki explained. She still wasn’t impressed and slapped him across the face. “I deserved that,” Loki said.

There was a knock on my door, and I paused the tape, calling Mobius inside. It was only ever Mobius that knocked, anyone else barged in thinking that because I was a variant, I didn’t deserve privacy. Mobius stood in the doorway, smiling kindly. I had to admit, over the few months we had worked together; he had grown on me. “I got a lead for you,” he stated, “it might not be much.” “Something is better than nothing.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The female variant had been successfully captured and pruned after a year of chasing her across timelines and universes. A part of me doubted Mobius would stay true to his word, mainly because Judge Renslayer was still not a fan of me, nor I her. But thankfully Mobius managed to talk her round.

Mobius opened his tempad and input the details before an orange doorway appeared before us. I knew this would likely be the last time I ever saw Mobius, and I had to admit I felt a little heartbroken at the thought. He’d been a good friend in a time I had needed one most. “Well, this is it, one-way ticket to freedom,” Mobius smiled, “maybe if I ever get some time off, I could come visit.” “I’d like that. Perhaps we could rent a jet ski for you to finally try.”

Mobius chuckled, “I’d like that.” He offered his hand to me, but instead I pulled him into a hug. Mobius was surprised at first, but soon accepted it. “Thank you. For everything,” I said. We pulled away and Mobius wished me luck before I stepped through the orange doorway, ready to find Raven.

Taglist: @jana-banana-fana​, @afangirlshideaway​, @kittyofalltrades​

[lovely-english-rose]

Hi Hunter, I actually bought Fates Conquest recently! I had never actually played it since I hadn't finished Awakening when it came out. It also looks like it released right around the time I got into Dishonored, so it makes sense that I didn't prioritize Fire Emblem. I finished Awakening last year, though, so with the closure of the eShop I figured it was time to get Fates. Anyway, I don't think I'm going to prioritize it for now since I really do need to play Three Hopes before Tears of the Kingdom releases, but! I did quite enjoy playing up to the route split! The soundtrack is nice, I like the introduction of daggers and shurikens, and the characters so far are likeable! Once I'm able to pick it up again I'm looking forward to learning more about the characters. I've only seen, like, a few of Xander's, Odin's, Laslow's, and Mozu's supports, so a lot of 'em are a bit of a mystery to me despite absorbing some knowledge from you, fics, and a few YouTube challenge playthroughs over time.

I am attaching a poor quality picture of my Corrin to this.

Ooooh i hope you have a great time with it when you get around to it!! Conquest can be challenging, but its great and fun to play ^^ and im glad to hear you've enjoyed what you have played so far! There's so much to love about the game! The music is so beautiful, i love listening to it while doing other things. I sorely miss the gag weapons and non gender locked classes </3 . The games really knew when to have fun and when to take itself seriously. And yeah! The whole cast is great imo, lots of likeable and interesting characters. I hope you have a good time getting to know them better when you play again! And your Corrin is very cute!!

Omg and speaking of finishing games before totk release, im hoping to get engage before then and ideally finish, because once totk comes out im dropping all other games lol. Im looking forward to playing it tho! Ive heard good things about it, and that its more in the same vein as fates, so that is very promising to me ;w;

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Great to see you again! Im so happy to see you posting again.

I was wondering if we can get a reader helping one of odens ravens who was injured during a mission in the human world.

The white one wpuld be seen more as rare so many greedy humans try to claim that they own the raven (I can remember its name) but reader is good with reading animals and is quick to protect the poor bird until it is either healed enough to find his owner or until oden is able locate him.

Would that be okay thank you and have a good day/night!

-When Muninn would up missing from Valhalla, nowhere to be found, his brother, Huginn, sounded the alarm to Odin, worried for him.

-Odin, while he never let it show, was worried, as the pair of birds had been with him since the beginning, they were a part of him and he did care about them.

-He rallied the Valkyries to assist him around Valhalla, so they could also ask around in the different pantheons if anyone had seen the white raven.

-Huginn was very confused, as this was very unlike Muninn, as usually if they had a fight, he would be back in a few hours, calling his brother an idiot, before they made up and returned to Odin’s shoulders, where they belonged.

-It was the youngest Valkyrie who brought news, running into Odin’s office, bowing deeply in greeting, “It seems that Muninn somehow went down to earth!”

-Odin rose, towering over Goll who internally screeched in fear, freezing but then was stunned when Odin put his hand on her head, giving her an affectionate pat before leaving.

-When he arrived down on earth, he was surprised to find himself in a woodland area, large towering trees all around, and as he found himself by a large cliff after a bit of walking, he could see a massive city stretching out before him.

-Odin knew that his companion wasn’t in the city, so he didn’t bother, turning to return to the forest, Huginn listening closely for his brother.

-It was your voice that they heard first, speaking gently, “It’s all right now- you’re safe.” Odin kept his presence hidden, finding you tending to an injured Muninn on a tree stump, wrapping up one of his foots.

-Odin glared darkly, wanting to know what happened to his friend before Huginn flew over, “Brother!!” you couldn’t understand it, as you were mortal and still alive, so all you heard was a cry of a raven.

-Huginn landed next to him and you leaned back, “Oh- is this your friend?” you didn’t seem bothered, returning to your task in tending to the pure white raven you had just rescued.

-Muninn told both his brother and Odin that he came down for a flight through the trees, something he did from time to time to clear his head, when poachers spotted him, a pure white raven and threw a net on him, causing him to crash. He had been thrown into a cage as they were planning on selling him, then you broke him out while they were all eating and drinking, sneaking into their camp, and set not only him, but a bear free as well to do as it wished.

-You tied off the bandage with a little bow, leaning back with a smile, “There- all done!” Odin asked him, with you not hearing him, “So this human rescued you and tended to your injury?”

-Muninn tried to act tough, “It was just a minor wound, no means for fuss, but this human seemed adamant on helping me, so I guess it can’t be helped.”

-Odin could only stare down at you, seeing you smiling at the pair of birds, stroking their chests gently, thinking they were adorable. It was rare to find a human with such a kind soul, willing to risk their own safety to save the life of a simple, in their eyes, raven.

-Odin waved his hand over you, a shower of magic falling down upon you, protection magic to keep you safe, because someone like you should always be protected.

-He was curious if you were going to come to Valhalla when your time came, if you did, he would seek you out and thank you properly.

-The two ravens took to the skies, flying off and out of sight which made you smile before you continued on, pulling your backpack back on, continuing your search for Bigfoot!

[cantdance]

10 fandoms 10 characters tag game

rules: name 10 of your favorite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people (i wont do that)

tagged by @lolotr almost a month ago. it took me a while to get to this, half because i kept forgetting and half because i legitimately struggled to come up with ten different fandoms i can claim to be in, but whos going to pass up a chance to rave about their blorbos

Final Fantasy XIV Online (FFXIV) - i love so many of the characters from this game. its not hard, the game is designed to make you love them. they feel like real people, especially in the last two expansions which emphasized their relationships with each other and with the wol (aka the player character). its difficult to choose one favorite but if i have to id say its gotta be alisaie leveilleur. despite not being relevant to the main story until the second expansion, her character is so rich and compelling. shes just a girl who wants to understand why her beloved grandpa left her to save a bunch of strangers, and she also wants to find out who she is and become her own person out of her familys (and especially her brothers) shadow. she also likes violence and explosions and how can you not enjoy that in a girl. unlike a lot of people who like alisaie, i also love alphinaud, and i love the way they interact. alisaie is my preferred twin but only by a slim margin. you can blame the backwards ass way i played this game for the fact that i love alphinaud even in 2.0

Marvel Comics - obviously its loki laufeyson! name a bitch more iconic. canonically genderfluid since 2014. your doomed by the narrative fave. raised by a father and a society that hated them for who they were, forced into the role of a villain to juxtapose their brother who was the only person to ever believe they could be more, at least until he didnt. killed and ate and burned themselves over and over to become something new. literally broke free from the narrative to become their best self but still a morally dubious shithead trickster in any (well written) form. my absolute blorbo of all time, dm me for a reading list

Norse Mythology - loki laufeyson again lolol. name. a bitch. more. iconic. canonically genderfluid since the viking age. born from a forest fire after lightning struck a tree. canonically hot but in a fucked up and dangerous way. odin was like "whos this hot weirdo" and decided they were brothers. your ultimate doomed by the narrative baddie. prophesied to end the universe. the god of fucking around and finding out. there are so few verifiable facts about this bitch, he is a complete enigma even among the rest of norse mythology which is already so fractured and weird. we straight up dont know how, why, or even IF he was actually worshipped. hes the only god to not have a single village dedicated to him. there are, like, two or three runestones depicting him. snorri made him into a jesus figure in the eddas but he serves so much cunt that he is repeatedly misinterpreted as literal satan. your fave could never.

LegendLark/Dames and Dragons - this is another difficult one because the characters are all so great, but im giving it to laika because i have a funny story about it. my first listen through i was in the middle of the gray manacle arc when i started asking myself who my favorite was. i decided it was laika literally the episode before she leaves 🥹

Dungeons and Daddies - i feel like my favorite should be scary, as someone who was once a goth/emo teen girl. however im gonna have to give it to my boi normally lee oak-swallows-garcia, the perky peppy chipper cheery mixed up mascot who doesnt know who he is anymore. imagine knowing your parents are disappointed with you at like, 14. imagine inheriting a generational curse except its a literal eldritch curse that you cant do anything about. imagine connecting with the mind of an incomprehensible eldritch being that is killing your reality out of loneliness and fear and hatred and deciding to show kindness.

The Locked Tomb - probably an obvious pick but its gotta be gideon nav. shes your butch sword lesbian. shes your jock trapped in a science convention. shes your tragic unloved child. shes your doomed by the narrative/came back wrong double threat. shes everything to me.

Paranatural - im not actually current, unfortunately. ever since zack changed formats ive found it difficult to read. i understand why they decided to do it the new way, but my attention span is simply not long enough. eventually i will catch up probably maybe. that said, my favorite is of course max. i just love how sassy and exasperated he is. he literally didnt ask for any of this shit. like he just moved to a new town where he doesnt know anyone and suddenly theres ghosts and he has to join an organization to fight them and his bat has a monster inside of it and he almost gets run over by a train, how fucking exhausted must this kid be all the time

Hunter X Hunter - its the only anime on the list baybee. i thought about including others but none are super current and hxh is the one that i still feel strongly about. my fave from hxh is the one, the only, killua zoldyck. my son. my angel. my precious catboy murder child. a boy who was tortured by his own family and trained to not care about other people and who was so lonely he latched onto the first boy his age that hed ever met. he is so full of love and he would do anything for his best friend, including kill people, but to be fair he would also kill people for literally any other reason

The Wheel of Time - my most recent experience with wot was rereading the eye of the world in preparation for the amazon show, which was a huge letdown for me and a lot of fans of the books. my last experience with it before that was when i was, like, 12. as a kid my favorite character was egwene, and now my favorite is...still egwene. she is a strong, confident young woman who knows what she wants and doesnt shy away from going after it. shes very strong-willed and doesnt bend to the will of others, she is unrepentantly herself. she also reads very heavily as a lesbian despite being in a (rather annoying imo) het romance with the mc. i dont think this was intentional (given the aforementioned het romance) so i wouldnt call it coding but like. shes a young adult who eschews traditional female roles and aspires to be unmarried and spend her time with other women how ELSE am i supposed to read that

Homestuck - very much NOT a current fandom, but it defined a great deal of my life, so i feel like it should be included. my favorite for this one may be the most difficult to predict, or maybe not idk, but its kanaya maryam. i remember the first time i was reading, waiting for my patron troll to pop up, and it was her. at first i paid attention to her just for that, but i fell in love with her pretty fast. i have a thing for female characters who go through arcs of self discovery and learning to value themselves outside of the opinions of others. something about starting out thinking youre a prop for other people and ending as a whole ass person is so *chefs kiss* also shes sassy and wields a chainsaw which is badass. i personally think her arc fell flat and she was underutilized in the end, but shes hardly the only one that got overlooked tbfh

im not tagging anyone mostly because i have no idea who i would tag. if youre reading this and want to do it, please do!

[larrikin-is-a-himbo]

My friend watches Merlin: Part II

How many fucking things are under this castle The water supply, catacombs, dragon cave, the dungeons, and now mystery death cave

Killing magic stuff seemingly runs in the family Great-something grandpa ordered to kill a wizard just because he was powerful

“This isn’t more than just a story” ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME.

This motherfucker just straight up ready to replace Merlin after all the things he’s done for him Or at least seemingly so far

Arthur better get the fucking Zuko treatment in the end or I’m suing

AH FUCK I hate gargoyles Unless they’re designed specifically for monsterfuckers

Mmmmm I know it’s in the mythology but I’m not sure I like the Gwen X Arthur ship

Back to the fucking dragon I suppose

Oh the fucking king is going to be even more insufferable this season isn’t he God bless Merlin’s patience

Oh we playin’ switcheroo

Also I saw the name Odin on the wikipage about Nimue and I was expecting the actual god, not just some random king I’m low-key disappointed yet again

Merlin just absolutely spilled his feelings and he’s 100% correct No wonder he’s tired He’s been doing everything in this fucking kingdom

For a bounty hunter this guy is surprisingly charismatic

GO TELL HIM GIRL TEAR HIM TO SHREDS

Gwen single handedly carrying the friend group

Girl you think letting the guy who never touched a spatula cook the dinner is a good idea

See, told you Merlin has to do everything. Again.

Morgana is doing magic unknowingly And she’s scared And Merlin is like “let’s ask the druids” You know, the people who the king tries to murder for no reason Surely that’s a wonderful idea

WHY ARE THERE SCORPIONS IN ENGLAND

See I told you They’re on a hunt for the druids

This is bad this is bad this is bad

DEADER LIKE DRUID GUY SEE I FUCKING TOLD YOU

Damn Mordred is really something isn’t he According to the myth he’s like evil or something from what I remember And I 100% see why he would turn that way after all this bullshit

LMAO Arthur was like “Stop hitting on her, she’s out of your range”

Really when Gaius dies (which I fucking hope he’s not going to but he probably will) my heart will shatter

Nooo they got best girl

“She’s more than just a friend for us” I’m sorry but I can’t unsee the queer in this

Noooo I hate these things I’m usually fine with naked mole rats But these are so bad

Woooh boy they kissed I low-key like this pairing more honestly Just on vibes

This motherfucker is going to die in the most glorious way By a naked rat

You know how this series should have ended Poly relationship Morgana, Gwen, Lancelot, Arthur and Merlin

A troll is about to catfish the king I’m only like, 50% seeing the problem here Cause for all I care the king could just marry one of those rats from the last episode

Nu uh, you ain’t talking to my boy Gaius like that

Eeeewwww

Seriously? THIS is the first double episode? The fucking troll? I’m about to throw up from this fucking Troll

NGL Arthur is finally growing on me He’s having his moments

The king is bad as he is originally, but now under the curse he’s even worse

This bitch needs to die as soon as possible Cause I can’t take the king being like this one more episode I’m done with his bullshit on regular mode

NA AH YOU FUCKER YOU WON’T LET THE GANG’S HARD EARNED WORK ON ARTHUR TO GO TO WASTE

LISTEN IM A MONSTERFUCKER BUT I DRAW THE LINES

FINALLY

We’re done I never want to think about these episodes again Ever In my life

Awkward almost hug is awkward But I guess it’s a start

These two episodes Were probably my least favorites from the series so far

MERLIN YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT YOU HAVE BEEN ALMOST KILLED WAY TOO MANY TIMES WHEN YOU *HAD* TO USE MAGIC, AND WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE TO, YOU JUST DO IT FOR FUNSIES LIKE “OH I’M SURE THIS WILL BE FINE”

Oh goodie, one anti magic freak wasn’t fucking enough

DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE HURT GAIUS YOU HALF BALD MOTHERFUCKER OR I SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS

Morgana honey, you’re not helping

OHH THIS FUCKER

Yet again, Gwen is the MVP

Hah, get fucked

LEAVE MORGANA ALONE

YEAH, GET FUCKED

“Yeah I sentenced you to death despise everything you’ve done to me over the years, but I’ll pay for everything my people trashed in your house. We good, right?”

TELL HIM GAIUS MY MAN

I feel like magic ladies in shadowy places is going to be a recurring theme in this show Also stalking the royal family

Dang girl I always love a women who has “I can kick your ass” energy

Why do I feel like the king is lying about not knowing this woman

What’s with all the people and their names starting with “Mor” Morgana, Mordred, Morgause

Mmmm She’s weird I don’t know if I like her vibes or not

I’m gonna give the misogyny a pass because this is like, around or older than the middle ages

Yeah the king definitely knows her

LMAO Why did he think letting MERLIN hold the rope was a good idea He’s a fucking twig

Bonding over dead parents, how nice

Ooooo family drama Half sisters

Arthur is growing on me

Dude I’m gonna cry

Mmmmm girl you’re a little sus

I would be ABSOLUTELY GLAD if he killed his father right then and there MERLIN W H Y I really fucking hope he knows he’s cutting the branch under himself everytime he says something bad about the magic, cause I can feel it all my 206 bones there will be a liar reveal episode or 2 where he tells Arthur about him being a wizard and it will be nasty

Yep, yep, fucking here we go again Merlin gets 2 black dots for this action, 1 for making the magic look bad and 1 for letting the king live

That’s exactly what I’m saying Gaius

Merlin you’re also a better person than me

Freya is so pretty

Aww, Merlin is trying to pick up a girl

Merlin trying to convince Arthur that he’s getting fat is true comedy Like how does he expect this won’t bite him in the ass later

Oof, there’s something wrong with this girl and it’s out of her control. It just reeks that energy

Oh shit I’m gonna cry by the end won’t I

✨kiss✨

Merlin you can’t just raid Morgana’s closet

LMAO Gwen

Arthur doesn’t even want to ask questions anymore At least he doesn’t judge 🤷‍♂️

KC I WENT THROUGH TOO MANY OF THESE SITUATIONS BEFORE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KC IT’S SO CUTE I WENT THROUGH SO MANY EMOTIONS IN SO LITTLE TIME

Poor Arthur They keep fucking with him by making him fall in love with random women

Oh she’s a bitch

Ah shit, Mr. Magic Man

Oh my god This is going to end very bad

Gee, Merlin, it’s not like we had this exact fucking scenario last season KC THIS IDIOT IS CLIMBING A WALL

Woah there, that’s not consent Nevermind

Poor Gwen, she’s the real victim here

Damn, Arthur is getting his ass kicked Of course the answer is love What else would it be

Gwen saves the day

Oh shit Mordred is with bandits Oh i dont like where this is going Mordred is so cute tho And I love Morgana

Merlin what the fuck He straight up set up Mordred to be killed I wouldn’t forgive him either honestly

Ah shit, future vision spoilers

Honestly I’m still pro magic people in almost every way I’m also on the same side with Morgana Morgana is on thin fucking ice honestly But I get it I would do the same

Uther is just cutting the branch under himself day by day He got almost killed by his biological kid and got disowned by his adopted kid now officially after 2 times she tried to coup against him Honestly at this point if he doesn’t realise he’s doing something wrong then there’s no hope for him at all

Magic lady bringing back the dead: check

Couple of girlbosses having a chat in the middle of the woods Oh she’s back at her room, convenient

Oh no Plagues?

Baby’s first battle scar

Oh shit, we Sleeping Beauty now?

Mmmmmm girl, that’s sketchy

Props to Gaius’ actor for keeping that face

Holy shit even the fucking dragon’s asleep Nevermind

Oh my god KC I’m so worried Whaaa Holy shit he’s about to Socrates Morgana NOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOO

As much as I hate this dragon If I were in his place I would burn this place to the ground too

I hate how much I sympathize with the villains in this series Well “villains” There are no sides in this series

Oh my god Off to find daddy Well damn, daddy’s not half bad honestly

He is 101% correct

Such a nice moment I honestly teared up a little Yep, that’s what I expected It was too good to be true

They grow so much since the beginning Oh Merlin, you’re so humble You deserve the world Yeah close that window And never open it again Holy shit this was a good episode And a long one

[maximumninjavoid]

rewrites for Mining for Unobtanium

@indigosaurus she's AMAZING and really helped me....

so I took another dive at it and fixed some things.

the breaks aren't where they were.....Asterisks indicate emails

if you're under 18 or offended by secks and consensual BDSM, GO AWAY

feedback is always welcome

I'm not even certain how it happened. I was just slogging along like everyone else, checking off plagues on my 2020/ 2021 bingo card, trying not to lose my mind. I couldn't watch the news, THAT was an exercise in insanity: watching allegedly grown-ass humans argue about the benefits of their rights versus the health and wellbeing of thousands of others....fish tank cleaner, for crying out loud.....Horse de-wormer. I had been going to work every day. As an *essential* I quickly figured out THAT meant the same thing as expendable, but I loved my work, and loved my clients even more.

Home, work, home, work, occasional trips to the grocery, mask, gloves, wiping things off before I bring them in the house, and praying that I don't get sick. As an extrovert, all the things I would usually do to replenish are prohibited. So, no gathering with friends, no going out, no dinner parties, no seeing people, no performances, nothing. Sure, zoom. But that's not the same.

And then the phone rang.

And I looked at my cell, and I didn't even recognize the sequence of numbers, and the program I have that blocks Unknown callers kicked in, and that was that, or so I thought. It rang again. And again. Fourteen times from that odd sequence of numbers, no area code I was familiar with. When I'm home, the phone is on its charger. No one calls me. Truly. I'll get messengered. I get IMs through various programs, but almost no one calls. Especially with my work schedule. I honestly didn't know there were that many calls. I'm headed out to work in the morning, it's about four am when I leave, and that when I see how many calls have come from that odd number. " Determined little bugger aren't they? " and I hop in my little black Club Edition Miata MX5 and turn on Pandora to my 80's Euro-pop and start shredding gears.

I'm not going to apologize for my musical taste. Some of it's a function of my age. I happen to like ABC and Scritti Politti. I think "My Aim Is True" was LIGHT YEARS ahead of its time. Besides, it's great to listen to while driving a six-speed manual, and I get to work in a great mood. So far, pretty much like any other pandemic day. Phone appointments with clients, stay on top of my documentation, grab a smoke where I can, and Google that phone number.

Which is where it got weird. Turns out, it's a what do you call it? A Solicitor? Some firm in the UK. Lots of names; their website looks lovely, but that doesn't tell me much. Why in the name of Odin's panties would a solicitor be trying to reach me? I mean, that didn't make any sense. I've never even been to the UK, and the closest I got to Europe was three hours in Orly airport about a hundred years ago when they took all our luggage off the plane, had all of us deplane; in the rain, I might add ..... So we could all identify our bags and get back on the plane. I was eight.

I added the solicitor's number to my contacts, figuring that would stop it from getting blocked by Robokiller, and then perhaps they might leave a message or something. I went on about my day and didn't give it another thought.

Soon, it would consume my every thought. How was I to know....

They left a message. A rather cryptic message. I must have played it six times and when I pulled over I read it an additional four times.

“We are trying to contact you at the behest of our client to set up an initial meeting to ascertain if terms may be agreed upon for a mutually beneficial relationship. The client wishes your knowledge and expertise in certain areas and would insist upon the utmost discretion. ”

Reasonably certain I am nowhere in line for the throne, and even more certain I have not been left a peerage, I’m at a loss as to what this is even about. I mean at one time I had been told that my biological father was English, a subject of the Crown. Having gone looking for medical insight and falling into that rabbit hole known as “every genealogical and DNA site known to humankind” I now know that is a fiction. There goes the last imaginary stab at long lost relations across the pond, right? I put it in the back of my brain and then I got an IM from a dear friend and MC I have had the pleasure of working with, “you’ll never guess who wants to talk to you!!!!’“

I look at the instant message and assume it is a prank. I send him love, inquire after his husband and cats, and then, almost ladylike, I tell him to sod off. “Oh you’ll be eating those words, you will. I swear on her Majesty the Queen’s diamond tiaras". OK. Surely he was serious. Gay men do not swear on crown jewels frivolously. John calls and regales me with the story of his last gig pre pandemic at Fringe Festival in Edinburgh and the massive crowds, and how well it was going...John says “One day this bloke comes backstage with his mates and they were quite taken with the international man of leather bit. It seemed they had a tonne of questions”, and while Jon said they’re good-looking, they…..didn’t play for his team. So we chat a bit about that, and then he says he has to ring off.

I’m still befuddled.

I get home, kick off my shoes, take off my damned bra, and there’s a knock on the door. I look out the little window and it’s a person in a polo, from a courier service. I open the door a crack, they ask my name, I confirm my identity, show proof, and they hand me this envelope. Very mysterious. Ok. This is some next- level weird shit. Is there a cell phone in the package? Will it direct me to take the red pill and meet Morpheus? Become unplugged from the matrix? So, I light a cigarette, grab my reading glasses and see just how far through the looking glass we are about to venture.

It appears to be a non-disclosure agreement. Pretty serious shit, I might add, that will penalize my sole descendant and her descendants, which by the bye do NOT exist as of this date, in many courts, in several languages, in perpetuity. If I agree to the terms, I am to sign it, scan it, email it, and upon receipt, a link will be sent for a secured video call, but not with the principal. Well, it wasn’t worded that succinctly. The language was a bit more flowery. And in Legalese. Oh for crying out loud….. I cannot even imagine for whom THIS level of crazy would be necessary, but now, my curiosity has got the best of me, and I’m in.

Not only do I sign, I add a drop of blood and the retinal image from my last eye exam ( what? You didn’t ask to keep yours?) I figured if we’re going to be extra, well, by all means, let’s be extra as FUCK. No sense in trying to disguise my sense of humor, either.

Off it goes, inconveniencing electrons, and then there’s the email notification. Secure video call. My God. I click the link, seven extra steps and I’m video chatting with a very nice man in a very nice suit who explains that his client would like to engage my services.

"My services? For what, exactly?” I’m running the possibilities through my head. Slapping drinks out of the hand of a Kardashian adjacent ne’er do well? Certainly not as an MC or a joke writer. I don’t know how to write jokes. I can tell stories, but that doesn’t seem likely as an engagement of this magnitude. No one pay that much money for a story teller. By process of elimination it appears safe to assume that this might be connected to …… umm……. My extra curricular activities.

This seems as good a time as any to explain, I suppose. I’ve been a part of the Leather Community for some time now. Kink, sure, but Leather is different. Not just in the material.

If kink encompasses a whole list of things; think you may have seen, things you might even have done, and you may not even identify yourself as kinky. That’s really ok, perfectly fine. At some point you might decide “ hey, I AM kinky” and we’ll be right here waiting for you, eager to show you all our toys and the cool things we learned along the way, various tips and tricks, wardrobe options, all the things we gush over with other like minded folx.

And while I did say Kink, and you’ve probably connected the dots to BDSM being a part of that- I did specifically say Leather. Leather, TO ME, and I really do need to clarify that this definition is situational, contextual and not universal, is about a set of shared values. Honor, service, duty, community, family; it informs the way in which I move in the world as much as the twelve Steps do. It is about how I treat people, how I would like to be treated, it encompasses integrity, honesty and my personal ethical compass as well as my love of mixing sex and power. It’s between consenting adults, there are rules, protocol, a hierarchical structure, AND it makes my heart happy.

Back in the day, all right not THAT long ago, I was a Femme Domme of some renown. I had submissives, slaves, people in service to me. I travelled around this part of the globe teaching classes at conferences about interpersonal dynamics within hierarchical relationships, classes on negotiation, safety, the ins and outs of entry in the Community and I loved giving back that information which was freely given to me at the start of my journey. I played in conference dungeons with all manner of implements of destruction. I had written more than a few published articles and I still MCed and judged contests.

It HAD to be that, right? But why me?

“Well, we would like to retain you, as an advisor. You’ll be compensated, of course. Your travel will be taken care of, as well as the quarantine period and any testing. Should you travel while we are still experiencing restrictions due to the Global Health Crisis, you would fly privately, and expect to spend fourteen days in a superior accommodation until the end of the quarantine. Then, you would travel with our client. Your meals would be provided, you would be paid a generous per diem…”

“ Exactly how long did you imagine you might need my advisory services, do you figure?

"Well…..we were thinking approximately six months with the option to extend.”

And I didn’t say a word. I couldn’t. My brain had vapor locked. SIX MONTHS? I had a job, a life, and a home, and bills and things. Regular people stuff. I couldn’t just chuck it all for half a year, could I?

“I do have a career I’m quite fond of, and I’m not ready to retire…. ”

“Your compensation will be more than worth the inconvenience….” And he threw out an almost incomprehensible number. Six figures. For six months of work. And no expenses. I actually could retire. “Ok. Who is your client, and in what capacity do they want me to advise?”

“ We would have to calculate the time difference, coordinate schedules, and get back with you. You’ll be hearing from us in a few days. Good to have you onboard”. And the phone call ended.

Right as that happened my phone notification went off. My bank showed a wire deposit of eight thousand dollars.

Indecorously, I’m certain my mouth was agape. Eight thousand dollars, for a phone call? Surely they were barking mad. Criminals, perhaps. Something. This was just so…..weird. I took the documents to bed, picked out my clothes for the next day, then re-read them as I wound down for bed.

Thankfully there was the usual amount of sheer chaos at work to occupy my thoughts and I got through my sympathy unscathed.

The drive home was fun. I can always fix anything with six gears, loud music, and ignoring the posted speed limit. I had a few hours, so I did dishes, tossed in a load of washing, and was about to get a few more chapters done in my edX Harvard class when the phone rang.

An odd set of numbers? Check. Similar to the Solicitors office? Check.

“ Hello? Yes, this is. How can I help? Secure call? Yes, I’ll hold… ” and I’m sure that my heart could be heard pounding through my chest…. “Hello.” This lush beautiful full-bodied husky voice on the other end…. “ do I have the pleasure of speaking with miss Y/L/N? ” “ yes, this is. You appear to have me at a disadvantage, I don’t believe I got your name? ”

“You didn’t.”

“ Are you shy, cautious, or just a bit of a rake, kind sir? ” He laughed, and it was an infectious sound. Women wanted to be with him, men wanted to be him, charming. Very charming. “Then how do you prefer I address you? Sire? My Lord? Sultan? Or perhaps Daddy is more to your liking.” That got me a sharp intake of breath…..I smile, make note of that.

“Was there some purpose for this call, or do you usually make secure phone calls for no apparent reason?” Silence. I could hear background noise, but he didn’t speak. “ You’ve paid for my time, if you would prefer we spend it silently, so be it. I will put you on speaker, so I can at least continue with my classwork. ”

“Classwork? In what subject? ” That voice. Twenty years in radio and I process everything through my ears; his voice was dynamic, rich tones, well-modulated. “It’s a class on the Opioid Epidemic. When I finish, I’ll have a certificate from Harvard to add to my collection.”

“ Collection? ”

“Yes, I collect alphabets.”

“ You what? ”

I laughed. “It’s a bit of a euphemism: for letters, after my name. Professional certifications. ”

“I hope you don’t think THAT’S why I’m contacting you…”

“ Truthfully? It crossed my mind. There’s no shame in getting help if you need it, and I can see where having a personal sober coach would be a benefit. That would explain the drop everything and travel. ”

More silence. Not awkward, but not at the companionable stage, either.

“Well, I’m not planning on calling you by some honorific, and you still haven’t provided your name, so I shall give you a name. Yes. From two of my favorite book titles. Hero Solo. All right, Mister Solo… What is it you need from little old me?”

And then he laughed again, a deep belly laugh, like there was a great joke, but, clearly, I wasn’t in on it. When he stopped laughing he said “ I ran into a friend of yours. I was with friends and he was doing stand-up comedy, and some of the things he talked about were…… Intriguing, shall we say? So I went round after and one thing led to another and he said you were the woman I needed to find. ”

Now the gears are spinning, processor speed doubling every few seconds, a United Kingdom stand-up act…. and it clicks into place. "I can teach you what I know, and what I like. But there are still issues that may prove insurmountable.

For you see, Mister Solo, I know who you are, and why you came to me. “

Having finally figured it out, who the caller was, I was amazed I hadn’t freaked out and hung up. Internally I was fangirling my ass off, OMG I am on the phone with HENRY CAVILL.

And I can’t tell anyone. Damn my ethical standards to seven hells, and that Non-Disclosure Agreement didn’t help, either. But, it made sense. I had gotten some scene vibes from watching him. From some of his roles, August Walker, if I have to tell you, but also in interviews, and thought there might have been something else besides Big Dick Energy there.

Thankfully, he spoke. “ Issues? Like why I had to have solicitors involved? ”

“Well, that, of course. But there are other considerations. While what it is we do has become more mainstream, it is still taboo, and playing with sex and power can have consequences. Especially for dominant men. Too easily twisted, and too easily misconstrued. And, you have a bright future to consider. Fifty shades of crap did a great deal more PR harm. I mean, if Christian Grey hadn’t been wealthy, it would have been an episode of Criminal Minds.”

He laughed again “ John said you were funny.

“Oh I’ll have you holding your sides, but I’m not professionally funny. I do like your laugh, so that’s an incentive. But, here’s something you may not have considered. How do you explain me? I cannot just pop into your universe, and become some orbiting satellite. I mean, look at you for fucks sake.” I knew I was starting to sound a bit exasperated, but it couldn’t be helped. “I’m ….. Well…..I’m …. Well shit. I’m at least twenty years older than you are.You can’t be seen with me. You’re not Keanu Reeves, and even Keanu Reeves took a ration of flack for dating a woman his age. And, besides, I look like, well…. Me. ”

“I wish you wouldn’t talk like that. You do realize I have seen photos of you. I don’t believe they do you justice.” That voice. Those words. And I wanted to let it pour all over me like a balm for my bruised soul. I could feel it oozing into the dented places, soothing the hurts. “ So you admit to being a stalker too, Hero? I hope you got great shots of me on my way to work. Or did you pay someone to hack my social media? That’s rich! ” Now I was laughing.

I could genuinely like this man, and that was a great place to start. But, I still had a mirror, and he still had paparazzi. We’d been on the phone for three hours, and it felt like minutes, but, I had to go.

“ This has been delightful. I’ll send your money back. I feel terrible for taking it. The NDA will remain in effect until the stars fall from the sky, or the end of the world. You’re safe. Thank you for a lovely conversation. Goodbye. ”

And I hung up.

I only wished I could stop thinking about it. And him.

As though the Gods themselves had conspired to create a perfect man.

Tall, broad shoulders, thick dark hair, blue eyes that I swear could see through me, with that brown part in one eye, so he’s still mortal. Strong chest, covered with the perfect amount of hair….. Which I was willing to bet was the right combination of crisp and soft. So you’d want to play with it, bury your face in it but just rough enough to harden your nipples.

Well as it turns out the solicitor was having none of that. They sent a rather tersely worded email reminding me I was under contract and that the funds would not be able to be returned and that I may wish to rethink the terms I had agreed to and they expected me to fulfill my obligation. Damn my sense of leather sensibilities and that ethical compass. Now I had to figure out how to make this work in some way shape or form.

Days pass. I go to work, do my thing, help a friend through a rough spot, and find myself reading entertainment industry sites. Can you roll your eyes at yourself? Is that internal, or is there a facial expression that accompanies that action?

I deduce he’s in Hungary, try and fail to calculate the difference in time ( I have always sucked at time mathematics) and while I know there’s an app for that, I have no idea what a production schedule looks like. I also have no comprehension of what a typical day might be, or if there even is such a thing. I send an email to the Solicitors General and suggest that email may be a temporary solution, given scheduling constraints, and make a call.

“Benji! I am so glad I caught you! You aren’t currently dressing anyone fun? …Not that you can tell me at the moment…..did you ever get contact information for whoever did those designs for Patti Lupone in Ryan Murphy’s Hollywood? I know!!!! "We both squealed. "She looked AMAZING! " we said practically in unison. "So do you have a few minutes? Can I pick your brain? What does a typical day look like for a principal, on location?”

I took notes. Good intelligence and reconnaissance are always important. Turns out there isn’t any typical. It'sseldom what they need to shoot, but rather what got screwed up, what requires different angles, or lighting, or even who needs to be worked around. Maybe the horse is having a bad day.

Maybe I could find out what his interests were, what he’d done, what worked, what didn’t, what he wanted. See if he’d read anything or if he needed to unlearn any foolishness, and in the meantime, I’d do my best to keep my mind from wandering off on tangents about hoping he was switchy. That maybe he wanted to feel what it was like to not be in control, or there were sensations he was very interested in exploring.

Oh, I’d very much like to restrain him and tease him. I would love to see what sorts of noises he might make…. Moans? Growls? Threats? Promises of retaliation? Sharp intakes of breath? I wondered how fun it might be to edge….see how close I could get him to cumming, and then stop. With my hands or my mouth, show him what a woman with very little gag reflex is capable of. Or slow down, or change gears. How many times could I do that, I mean before he exploded?

Part of me KNOWS that he is busy, working. But the asshole who lives in my head cannot resist the opportunity for a stroll around my neuroses. He’s not going to contact you….. Because LOOK AT YOU. It’s good that you’re funny. At least you have that. You had your few minutes. Be grateful for the call and the laughs that you got. It’ll never be anything more. Don’t kid yourself loser.

And can we just talk about THAT for a minute? As someone who spends a bit of time in the public eye, granted a different public, but still.. and who had gotten misquoted and had it taken out of context and then there was a shit storm, you completely understood where that whole debacle had come from. His parents raised him and his brothers to be gentlemen. If he ever even did anything that would make his mother wince, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

And we’re not talking about “ alternative” sexual activities between consenting adults, right? We’re talking about actual consent violations, Harvey Weinstein stuff, the things that make you need a Silkwood shower. He likes wooing women, loves flirting, enjoys that whole interplay, but in the current climate, he could see where there might be a potential minefield.

He’s famous. Why do you think he had to have you sign a non-disclosure that was binding three generations forward? As in your great-grandchildren, yet unborn, couldn’t talk about this? Some people look for an easy out, sell their stories to tabloids. I mean that triad, where one of them was a fucking sex doll? And they ( the other two ) talked about her ( I am assuming her gender pronouns based upon her looks and I shouldn’t, but as the doll is mute it cannot verbalize any other preference) as though the doll were an actual third party in the relationship WHO WAS AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT.

And when people started talking about it on social media, had all the nerve to be offended that misconceptions were being fostered. Darlings, YOU gave the interview to the tabloid.

So in interview he said ““There’s something wonderful about a man chasing a woman,” he said. “There’s a traditional approach to that, which is nice. I think a woman should be wooed and chased, but maybe I’m old-fashioned for thinking that.” Cavill went on, saying, “It’s very difficult to do that if there are certain rules in place. Because then it’s like: ‘Well, I don’t want to go up and talk to her, because I’m going to be called a rapist or something.’ So you’re like, ‘Forget it, I’m going to call an ex-girlfriend instead, and then just go back to a relationship, which never really worked,’” he said. “But it’s way safer than casting myself into the fires of hell, because I’m someone in the public eye, and if I go and flirt with someone, then who knows what’s going to happen? Now? Now you really can’t pursue someone further than, ‘No.’ It’s like, ‘O.K., cool.’ But then there’s the, ‘Oh why’d you give up?’ And it’s like, ‘Well because I didn’t want to go to jail?’”

And I can see that he’s a) old school and b) loves women.

To silence the asshole that lives in my head, I researched. There’s not a lot of anything about this man to be found on the interwebs. Pictures, Photoshoots, Ad campaigns, that horrid GQ Australia interview.

I can also see that he has no idea what the “new rules are” if one could put words in his mouth.

And he thinks that it would be easier to go back to someone he already had a ‘ relationship ‘ with because it’s a known commodity, even if it didn’t work.

And you can’t fault him for THAT, we’ve all done it.

Oh come on, a show of hands, everyone that had sex with an ex because you really needed sex and the battery-operated boyfriend was not cutting it.

I keep trying to do research, see who and what I’m dealing with. I mean between living my ordinary mortal life, paying bills, fretting about clients, making my productivity numbers. What surprises me is the utter lack of anything even remotely negative about this guy. No one has anything bad to say about him. His third-grade teacher, the kid down the street who used to play toy soldiers with him, heck, even the women he’s no longer dating have NOTHING bad to say about this man.

That tells me one of two things. Either a ) he really is some kind of a pod person and he’s an artificial construct; or b ) he really actually is that nice.

I’m cynical. I have a hard time believing B. But, all the data tells me otherwise. I watch hours of video, read all manner of articles, talk to people that work in the industry. Everyone says the same thing. “ What a great guy, Lovely, really. Nicest man, So kind. Someone you could really just talk to , I mean if he weren’t a world famous superstar. Not at all stuck up”

But, there are some interesting tidbits. Like that whatever that was with that actress from Big Bang Theory. That was a PR stunt. I think they were together for a coffee. He was with Marisa Gonzalo, who is a game hunter……. Odd choice considering his causes, and well she went and posted pictures of their vacation to social media, and whoops, trap door opened and she fell through. I think she engineered that whole thing, finding out the gym where he worked out and putting herself right in his path.

The women he seems to have stayed with the longest are Gina Carano ( The Mandalorian) and The professional show jumper…. what was her name….. they were ENGAGED for crying out loud….. but, the common thread is, I think with those women he didn’t have to hold back. I mean, he could. That’s always an option, to be gentle, soft, tender. But at over six feet, all that training, all that muscle, all…. that….. thrusting power……to HAVE to hold back, because you’re afraid you’ll damage your partner? Actually hurt them? and , you know not in a nice way? Like not in that “ oooh every time I sit down, I get that twinge in my nether regions and then I recall how I got that_ particular_ soreness and it makes me blush, and my undergarments get dampened” that sort of thing? More like “ I think I may have torn something and they might have to put an episiotomy stitch or two in that” sort of thing.”

Come on. We’ve all seen the pictures.

Blue sweat pants. You know EXACTLY the pictures I’m talking about. That is NOT the introductory class. Not by any ( pardon the pun ) stretch of the imagination. { I know, I’ll see myself out }

So I think that is part of why he is looking for additional dimensions to his extra curriculars, as maybe that might be a key. And I can see it. A submissive or a slave would inherently be more willing, more geared to his wants and desires, and if he were the proper sort of ethical owner operator, then he would be more geared to hers. It is after all power exchange, not power theft. If you’re going to surrender your will to another individual it’s based upon a deep level of trust and love that they’re going to cherish you and care for you and not do anything to damage you. That everything is consensual, negotiated and communicated.

It’s like a very complicated but elegant tango, really. So stunning to watch. Mesmerizing, looks effortless, but so much goes into it, years of work and practice, to make it look that seamless and easy. But that’s how he approaches things. This is the person who thought that the leather jerkin for The Witcher needed to look ‘ lived in’ so he lived in it. Slept in it, wore it constantly. Didn’t have some production person do it, HE did it. Does his own stunts. He doesn’t have to, he’s just that invested, and just that authentic. So , if this speaks to him, this power exchange, this Dominance and submission, then he’s going to approach it the same way, I would imagine.

Makes me wonder what he’s up to, wherever he is……

The phone rings.

It’s that odd series of numbers again, and it’s been a while but, I know, he’s busy. International superstar and all that. Filming, training, playing with his Bear Dog Kal. Yes, I know, not actually a bear, but a pretty good impersonation, really.

“ Yes? “

“ Is that how you answer a telephone?”

“Only when I know it’s you, Hero.” Trying to calculate the time difference is making my brain hurt. I light a cigarette and wait.

There’s a few moments of static and silence and then he speaks. Gotcha.

“ I read some of your writing. It’s …… not traditional. I rather like your perspective.”

“Thank you. Was it difficult to locate?”

“ No, not once I had the right parameters.”

“ Well, I do apologize for some of the drivel that surrounded it”.

Again, that laugh. “ That was more what I had come to expect, and not at all what I was looking for, really. “

“ Where do you find the time? “

“ Well, my schedule is a bit unusual, so I have time, it’s just not when one would expect. And I also found those two books. The Third Piano Concerto? Rachmaninoff? That was really quite a tale.”

“It’s one of my favorites. I read it at least once a year, despite the fact I can probably recite it from memory. I’m surprised no one’s made it into a film.”

“ Was that a..?”

“No, no not at all”, and I laughed.

He had some questions about my take on D/s dynamics and how I saw it a bit differently, that I didn’t think it possible that oneperson’s needs could be met simply by meeting the needs of another person. And that it wasn’t possible for it to be elegant gold chains and constant cocksucking, with a platinum butt plug in twenty two hours a day. Real life, you know? We have jobs and families and parents and responsibilities and interests, and fiction isin fact fiction, for a reason.

He talked about how it intrigued him, and I asked him which side of the dynamic. There was a long silence. In fact I wasn’t certain if the connection had been lost, but I waited. He said he wasn’t sure. I said that there was no shame in not deciding, and that it was perfectly reasonable to want to explore prior to making any determination.

“ Did you buy the first Bentley you saw, or did you drive one or two? Maybe take an Aston Martin for a spin? Pretend you were a Bad Guy in a Bond movie and get behind the wheel of a Jaguar? Drive a high end pasta rocket until you realized there is no place to put take away? “

“ Yes, exactly” .

“ What you need is a test drive. You have no idea what you like, but you probably have a better idea of what you don’t, perhaps.”

He paused again. “ Late at night, when I’m by myself, I know what excites me. I know what gets me hard. And it isn’t always the same things. And I’m not certain what to do about that.”

“ They’re fantasies. And they’re yours. You do whatever you like with them. If you want to try them out, great. If you want to keep them to yourself, that’s great too. Some of them are meant to stay in our heads. There’s no judgement. But, you won’t know unless you try. And I’m the safest person to try.”

“ I had hoped you would say that. I really had hoped you would say that “

“ I know. My role is to figure out what it is you want, even if you can’t tell me , or don’t quite know, and then serve it to you, on a silver platter. The term you’re looking for is Service Top.”

The phone calls continued, at odd hours. He would occasionally leave voicemails, saying things like “ I know you’re at work, but I wanted to pick your brain about….. ” or “you’re probably asleep, I don’t know what time it is there…” At one point I suggested emails, so if he wanted to discuss something then he could just send it, and not have to concern himself with time constraints .

I almost wish I hadn’t. I found myself checking my email more often, and my pulse racing when I saw one from him. He was sharp, inquisitive. Had stellar questions and a brilliant mind. Rather unfair, really, to be that good looking, nice AND smart. At this point now I’m starting to look for his Shakespearean tragic flaw. Like, there has to be SOMETHING wrong with him, doesn’t there?

He tells me how production is going, the training and the fight scenes. I give him shit about the comment he made in an interview about Geralt’s leather pants and how they had to change that because the leather would stretch out and then look….. Baggy. “ You ride a Ducati, don’t you? ” “You know that I do.”

“And do you ride in khakis? ”

“No, that would be excessively foolish. One dresses for the fall.”

“ And your riding gear is leather, yes? Does it get…. What was the word you used in the interview? Baggy? ” I was thankful in that moment we weren’t doing video calls. I don’t think I could keep a coherent thought in my head with that face looking right at me, while that voice was speaking to me at the same time. That’s enough to fry a woman’s circuits. Well, mine, anyway. And there was that damned laugh again. It turned my insides to goo. If the heat in my face was any indication, I was probably blushing. And I’m reasonably certain I do not blush.

“So you’re saying if they were made out of the right leather…..?”

“ Exactly. Leather pants should fit like you were dipped in leather, and left to dry. That spectacular ass you work so hard on should be framed like the work of art that it is, and if I’m to be completely candid… ”

“As if I could stop you…”

“ You did contract for my opinion …. You’d be sin personified in the right pair of leather pants. And the right cock ring. But I’m not certain I’d share that vision with anyone. Certainly not the media. There’s quite enough speculation about your endowments, and if we gathered all that up and prominently displayed it, well, I daresay I wouldn’t want to be responsible for the cardiac incidents. ”

I ask him to have his costuming measurements sent. I may have a trick or two up my sleeve. I know someone who does couture leather. Works with theaters and television. He tells me they will be wrapping up soon, and hopefully won’t need reshoots. I ask how much time before the press tour and he says he has maybe a month after they finish shooting, maybe more. “ Hmmmm. A month. That would be a start. Are you ready? ”

There’s a pause. I hear him breathing. I hear ice cubes in a glass. I wait.

“Yes. I mean, I think so. Or, I will be. That didn’t come out right. I sound like an idiot.”

“ You sound honest. Which is the perfect starting point. ”

“ So, what now? ”

“All sorts of things. Fun things, boring things, logistics, because you’re a royal pain in the ass, do you have ANY idea how difficult it is to locate an evil overlord impenetrable lair on short notice? Much less to MY exacting standards? And some basics. Ground rules. Limits. Interests. …I have assignments for you.”

“ Ok. ……Ma'am ”

“Oh, you’re going to be delightful, and probably evil on the other side of the switch. That’s why we need ground rules. And safe words. Ma'am….. Oh you make my cold black heart go pitter patter, Hero. Anticipatory behavior gets rewarded. I’ll mark that in your book. ”

I told him to find an exhaustive list of activities, fetishes and kinks and mark all that he had done, and loved, done and liked, done and didn’t care one way or the other about, done and never wanted to try again, NEVER EVER wanted to try, was interested in but hadn’t done, thought about, and which ones got him harder than Graduate Calculus. He said he would and rang off.

After that phone call I laid there, covered in a light sheen of sweat, panting, cunt throbbing, aching to be completely full of cock, and having to be content with the orgasms I had. I rolled over, lit a cigarette and contemplated the twists my life had taken of late. It was almost incomprehensible. And it occurred to me I hadn’t been paid lately, and I wasn’t entirely certain that I minded. But apparently thinking about it triggered something at the solicitor, and sure enough, another balance notification. I called my friend that did couture leather and asked if they had time to construct a few things. Measurements sent and funds transferred, I felt rather pleased with myself. Very cat with a saucer of cream, you know?

I had gotten the list back of the kinks and fetishes, and, as I expected, he was thorough, and precise. There were things he was interested in exploring, and things he wanted to experience, and he specified which he had done, and which he wanted to do, and from which side of the equation. I smiled. I KNEW he was switchy.

It didn’t change the fact that he had yet to lay eyes on me. That he hadn’t come face to face with the age difference, my additional pounds, and all of that could still be a deal breaker. Oh. Great. Hello, asshole that lives in my head. I figured you would show up about now. I was having too good of a time for you not to destroy it. So, sure, hit the highlight feel and let’s revisit EVERY bad decision I’ve made since third grade. I lit another cigarette. This was going to be a long night.

Now, in the right frame of mind, for the right individual, I can be very submissive. But I’m much more of a bottom. I’d prefer to still be in control….. Ok, we’ll do this ,this, this, you’ll do this to me, this to me, and, then, we will fuck like wild animals…..ready? Go!

Nothing jumped out at me as I went down the list, face fucking, choking, some August Walker shit…. Not surprised…bondage, edging, orgasm control, restraint, ice, wax, knives…..ooooh… I LOVE knives….hair brush spankings, I’ll bet that goes with the Daddy thing…teasing, spanking, hair pulling, oh, yes…..this was going to be fun!

If this was actually going to happen, then I needed to start putting things into motion. I called a friend at Mr. S in San Francisco, and gave them my shopping list. Butter soft leather, custom construction, suspension cuffs, wrist and ankle restraints, a few brand new floggers, one in certain for warm ups, one in buffalo that’s thuddy, almost like a massage, and then I started searching my stored toys.

Paddles, canes, needles, first aid kits, my singletails, harness, dicks, it had been a while since I had a submissive of my own, but, some things a Domme can never part with. It gave me something else to focus on rather than my rising panic. Even if I strapped myself to a treadmill and ate a rice cake a day…..just stop. We are not even going there.

Having extra money means things get done faster, shipped faster and in a matter of days I had the leather pants and all the custom work from Mr S. Yes, I wickedly overpaid. I even bought new leather suitcases. Well, toy bags. Suitcases. Whatever.

The next time the phone rang, it caught me off guard. I had been daydreaming, I suppose. Thinking about actually meeting him. Seeing that face, those eyes, and looking at me, and smiling. I don’t even think I registered the ring tone. “ Hello? ”

"Oh, it’s hello now, is it?“

” Yes, well, one must try to keep some air of mystery…. You must be completely done in. Any new injuries? “

” So far I have been fortunate, the training has really paid off. I am looking forward to not wearing contact lenses for a while. “

We talked about Kal, the press schedule, what was next, the new Netflix movie and I said I really like the longer curls. "Just enough to grab a hold of” and he got quiet.

“ And where do you think we’ll be going? Know of an island, do you? Where they won’t impound Kal? Someplace you don’t get mobbed? Wait, I know… Another planet? You haven’t even told me your name.

"Did I cross a line?”

“ No. … I …. Just….. ”

“You think you might enjoy that. You’re surprised I mentioned it. I think there’s a great deal you may enjoy. And I’ll have you know I’m working very hard to not sing ’ A Whole New World’ from Aladdin very off key. I’m a terrible singer but enthusiastic. But that’s….”

“ not the point” he interrupted. “These phone calls and emails are great. But I… We…. Can’t make any inroads this far apart. I know you’ll need a two week head start, for quarantine, even if you have a negative Covid test. ”

“And you haven’t even asked my name. “

And I hung up the phone and I had a good cry.

I did a few laps in my pity pool, a bit of water ballet, since I was already wet, and then I shook it off. You’re too old for that flavor of foolishness, I told myself, and I tried to get on about my business. All right, maybe I did need a bit more concealer than usual, but, that’s not the point.

My work was rewarding. Exhausting but rewarding and I dearly loved my clients. About three hours into my day a delivery man arrived, asking for me. My director pointed my office out and an enormous floral arrangement came around the corner. It looked like it was moving under its own power, since the person carrying it was actually obscured from view. White roses, green roses, hyacinth and Lily of the valley. Fresh start, new beginnings, and deeply traditional apology flowers. They smelled heavenly. I had no idea where I was going to put them. They were bigger than the clear space on my desk. I thanked the delivery person and went to get my work bag to tip them. “Oh, no, ma'am, that’s been taken care of, more than generous, really, thank you.”

I reached for the card.

My darling, can I call you that? Of course I DO know your name, Lord knows I’ve moaned it a time or two in the recent weeks, I’m surprised you didn’t feel me. I feel that connected to you.

I knew right the moment it went pear shaped, and I didn’t mean to come off as such a wanker. I just thought you felt it too. If you don’t forgive me, I shall have no other alternative than to learn the Rach Three, and join the French Foreign Legion.

Yours,

Henry William Dalgliesh Cavill

ps did I mention how absolutely sorry I am? Can I make it up to you over dinner? At four, your time?

What the apricot flavored fuck was he up to?Dinner? At four? Ok, that completely fits with my schedule,but he’s on the other side of the planet, and I’m not sure how this works. Instead, I wafted on the intoxicating fragrance of the flowers, tucked the note VERY close to my heart, and smiled when everyone and their cousin wanted to know why I got flowers.

“Just because I’m amazeballs."

” Damn straight.. That in fact you are! “

“All right I’m handing out homework for group, cause Miss Rona is no fun at all. Get it back to me TOMORROW, or you don’t get credit! “

I wish I had video of me trying to get this arrangement of flowers into my two seater. That was all flavors of funny. There was no way it went in the trunk, it didn’t quite fit on the floorboard, I didn’t want have to put the top down and let the wind at highway speed have at it. But, I prevailed, got it in the house and managed to make a section presentable for a zoom date. I stood in front of my closet for a good 45 minutes, freaking out. What do I wear? All dressed? Casual? Waist up? Alluring? Slutty? Screw that. It’s August. The temperature is best described as Satan’s front porch. Elegant and comfortable. Maybe my stomach will settle and I won’t throw up.

At precisely 3:45 my doorbell rings, and it is delivery people. I open the door and they come in and set up a small table , set it, plate the food, put some things in the kitchen and leave!

Food’s out, my mouth watering, and you have an upcoming video talk with possibly the world’s most good looking man. Nothing to panic about, at all.

I look and find a case of all the different flavors of No 1 water and remind myself to thank him for that as well. Mint. Ok. Let’s give that a try.

And throwing any and all caution ( and self preservation, I suppose) to the wind, I power up the laptop, and click the zoom link in the email.

Yes, by the way, it IS possible to drink a half a bottle of No 1 mint water in one swallow, especially if you’re desert parched and nervous as fuck.

And then my heart stops. And I swear to every God and Goddess I can recall, time stands still, and I’m praying that my mouth is not hanging open, because he is perfection. The angles of his cheekbones. That jaw line. Oh my God those blue eyes. Literally I could just fall into them, and never be heard from again, and I would be ok with that. The slightly messy sable curls, begging to have hands run through it, and all of this is short circuiting my poor overloaded brain in the space of SECONDS.

"Hi”

Seriously? Hi??? Is that the best you can do? You blithering idiot. Just turn off the computer, and find a hole to crawl into.

" Thank you for accepting my apology, and my dinner invitation. I really am sorry that I made such a dog’s dinner of it. I just, well, we were getting on so well, and it was comfortable, and I made a cock up of it. “

I remembered to breathe. In and out. You’ve been doing it for years…

” Well, I suppose I will let it go this once, but I reserve the privilege of punishing you later. “ And I smiled.

He looked down for an instant and then back at me, through his lashes, and there was a wicked twinkle there that wasn’t present before. "Deal.”

Dinner was delicious, and if I told you I recalled what I ate, it would be a bald-faced lie. It was eleven in Hungary, and the end of a long day for him, I’m certain, but the conversation was easy and light and a little flirty. I have no idea when I grew a set of balls that big, but, since no one had come back to tell me that reincarnation was a thing, I might as well swing for the fences. At about the two hour mark, I realized I was probably being very selfish and I should let him get to bed, and said as much.

"That’s the thing that technology lacks…“

” what’s that? “ I asked

"At the end of a marvelous date, I would see you home, and then I would take you in my arms, and I would kiss you. First kisses are important. You can tell a great deal about a person from how they approach a kiss.”

" You mean like long, slow, soft, wet, deep kisses, that last three days? “

"And the small of a woman’s back, and opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve”

"Thank you for a lovely evening, Henry"

"Thank you, y/n"

The next morning there was an email.

***The other thing I rather dislike about current technology is that I would have preferred to write this to you on proper paper. With an actual pen. There is something about the right paper stock, the feel of it, how the ink glides along the page. I do so love handwritten correspondence. Perhaps we can make that part of our dynamic. That is what we are constructing, is it not? I would hate to think we were not, for I feel as though we are, and I find myself floating in it, and at the oddest moments.

I spend, as you might guess, a great deal of time in make up and hair, and I use the time to go over lines and scripts ,changes, fight choreography, and then I see your eyes, laughing, with me, and I feel warm inside, and content. In a way I can’t quite put into words, but I definitely want more of, and soon. I think of things I want to talk to you about, and there is so much that I don’t know. I really should start keeping a list. I think about how your hair fell in front of your face during dinner, and the way that your voice changes in tone and how that does something to me. I want to lose myself in you. Can I do that? Will you allow me that?

The difference in our age doesn’t make a DAMN bit of difference to me. I find you captivating, elegant and so very real. You intrigue me and I need more. I suppose you may already know I had a relationship of some importance with a woman older than I, when I first came to the US. It’s odd, talking about it, now, with you, and when I think back to almost being cast in ‘50 Shades’, well, it’s rather ironic, isn’t it? And, oddly no one batted so much as an eyelash when I was romantically involved with a girl not old enough to drink in a pub.

I would love to be able to run away with you. Please let’s make that a reality. I have about four more weeks here and then I could get away. Anywhere you like. I want to be able to court you properly, hold you, kiss you, feel your hand in mine. If you leave in two weeks, your quarantine will be completed by the time I arrive.

Are you up for an adventure, y/n? Take a chance, on us? On this?***

I’m certain the word I was looking for was gobsmacked.

I had a difficult time staying focused all day and started and rewrote at least seven or eight emails in response. But my mind kept wandering off of its own volition.

He and I laying in the sun, laughing, Kal playing in the shallow end of the pool, secluded enough that I was working on an all over tan, and didn’t feel the need to dress. The kitchen was stocked, so we had no need to go anywhere and were free to enjoy each other’s company.

I got up and walked to the outdoor honeymoon shower to cool off and Henry came over and stepped behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his head on top of mine. He pulled me into his embrace and we were both standing under the fall of water. I turned, and lifted my face to his. He gently brushed his lips with mine and I pressed my lips to his and leaned into the kiss. His tongue darted between my lips and I moaned, my nipples pebbling with desire and the added friction of the hair on that rock solid wall of a chest. My hands slid up his back and I pulled myself closer to him, still kissing, our tongues dueling for dominance and I can feel Henry getting hard.

"You’re incorrigible, like some randy teenager, aren’t you?“

” And maybe I’m just happy to see you"

“Maybe you’re just like Big Dick Richie and you finally found the pussy that fits that monster. How long has it been since you didn’t have to hold back?”

"About an hour or two" and he picked me up and slowly impaled me, inch by delicious inch on that weapon he calls a cock.

In between clients and panty dampening daydreams, I managed to formulate a response.

*****Ok, Hero,

Somehow, I knew you’d be a pen and paper sort of gent. And I would wager you’re particular about your choice of pens. Has to have the right heft, glide just right across the paper. I have specifications about pens myself.

Somewhere secluded. No press. I can go anywhere, and no one will notice me. You, on the other hand will cause a stir anywhere you go. Has to be someplace Kal can go. This isn’t going anywhere if the baby bear decides I’m not ok. I wouldn’t have anything to do with someone my dog didn’t trust.

I’ve probably spent more time than I should have thinking about kissing you, holding your face in my hands, losing myself in those eyes, and building this whatever this is. We will need some ground rules, safe words, and I would imagine your preferences, needs, wants and requirements will come into play. You’ll need to keep up your training, I’ll need to be aware of any dietary issues. There’s probably someone you trust enough for me to coordinate with on this, I would imagine.

I apologize. This is rather choppy, stream of consciousness, isn’t it? Multitasking, let me show you it. Or, maybe you just want to go home? Simple enough to get me into the UK, stick me in a hotel for two weeks and then it’s done and you have all the comforts of home. I can bring what I need and with minimal fuss, we can begin.

Your choice.****

So how IS this going to work? I mean , really? I keep telling myself this is ridiculous. I mean, for all of the reasons that my brain keeps playing on death loop; and then some. Let’s see, I could:

Go do medical tourism, have a frame off restoration, get an entire body lift and then MAYBE feel good enough to perhaps get caught by a photographer within twenty miles of him.

Invent a really good cover story about who I was and why I was anywhere near him.

Become some long misplaced relation who was lost to adoption two generations ago. Some charity case he took pity upon.

Believe me, it just gets worse from there. My brain is a very inhospitable place.

Instead, I forced myself to think a tad more pragmatically.

I looked at the list of things he wanted to do, and thought of the things I was willing to do and decided it was time to begin something that looked like negotiation in the time of the pandemic.

****Hello Handsome:

How are things in Dorking? Which, I have to say is probably the most aptly named place in the hemisphere, since you’re there, you dork. I hope they’re at least being kind to you and not beating you up too badly. With any luck, you’ll save some of that for me.

I’m compiling a list of *activities* and some of them intersect. I can’t say I’m too keen on arm wrestling you to see who gets to top first, so we shall defer to age before beauty. Treachery over youth and skill? There is a skill set that goes with some of these toys, and while it is referred to as play, some of them are considered weapons, and can do damage.

First things first. Safety and trust. If you didn’t trust me, we wouldn’t even be considering this, and at any point you can use a safe word. I won’t assume you know what that is. I will go from the concept that you know nothing and we can adjust from there. it should be a word that doesn’t come up in every day conversation, that’s unique enough that it won’t be misunderstood, but not so complex that you may forget it. For instance, the word I usually use is aardvark. But, in your case, maybe I’ll change that to kryptonite.

I am imagining you laughing. I hope you’re laughing. I’m laughing.

I will never damage you. I will hurt you, and ideally, you’ll like it. I hope to cause you exquisite pain. Erotic anguish. It is what you said you wanted. Been spending any time thinking about it? I have.

Anything that might cause marks will need to be healed back up by the time you have to be on set, or be able to be camouflaged. How do you tend to heal? Do you bruise easily? And never the face. Dear Gods no, not that face. We’ll start slow and go at what ever pace you feel comfortable. I honestly don’t think I can harm you and I’m probably more likely to injure myself on the mountain that is you.

Speaking of injuries, I expect you’ll pay for any damage you do. We may need to find a concierge physician who makes discreet calls. I might have a hard time explaining how I was injured. Should things go really sideways and I perish, I would only ask that you provide for my daughter. Nothing extravagant, just so that she is ok. And she doesn’t need to know where it came from, and it just needs to be enough to keep a roof over her head and gas in her car. Other than that, I don’t really think anyone will make that much of a ruckus. You’ll figure out a way to dispose of my remains. Make me into a diamond, put me in a pinkie ring.

I don’t think I’m destructible. I’m pretty hearty. Now if you want to have a training buddy, I’m down for that too. I could stand to be more fit, and would love a bit more flexibility. I can cook, and will learn what you like. But, there are some ….. concerns. I smoke. You drink.

I know you used to smoke and you’re extraordinarily health conscious, but I don’t have any intentions of quitting. So we will have to figure out some compromise. You drink and I’m twenty seven years clean and sober. I’m not going to tell you not to drink, but I don’t ever want that flavor profile in my mouth, not even in kisses. Something tells me I am going to love kissing you.

We’ll have to figure out a work around for that as well.

However I do think the part you’ll like the best is not having to hold back. Whatever it is, I can take it. And I look forward to you trying to wreck me.

Sweet dreams*****

And then I hit send. And cackled

Instead of an email, I received an attachment.

Not a picture, but a video. I guessed it was a “This is where we are shooting, and here’s my dog, and see how I look before they put this wig on me, or I thought I’d say hello while I was waiting for all the prosthetic scars to dry. “

You know, cell phone video of Dorking, wave hi to my cast mates, here’s where Joey fell into a mud puddle, that sort of thing.

Oh. No. While that may have been what I was expecting, that was not what I got. I clicked the link and damn near died. It was cell phone video, no doubt there, and I knew precisely whom. Panning down that rock solid chest sprinkled with all that chest hair he kept teasing to the women ( And men) of the planet…. and I thought about the nights I dreamt of my face buried in that chest hair, sweaty, satisfied, using him as a human weighted blanket. In my dreams he protested, said he was too heavy, surely I must be crushed by him, and I smiled trying to find the words to tell him how happy it made me, how safe I felt.

My eyes traveled down the eight pack…yes. Holy smokes he has an actual EIGHT pack. Is that even possible? Can humans do that? And I can hear him….

“Do you see what you do to me? One dinner? A few phone calls, some emails and look at this…..”

And God help me, I could not tear my eyes away. His hand, stroking up and down his very erect ,even bigger than I had extrapolated, beautiful thick huge cock. It took my breath away. My heart started to pound. I wished I was closer. I could see the pre cum leaking from the tip and my tongue licked my lips in anticipation. What I wouldn’t give to be able to show him in person what a grown ass woman with no gag reflex can do.

He was purring. That’s what it sounded like, a back of the throat kind of growly thing and his hand was moving faster, and I swear he said “ I’m hard like this almost constantly, dreaming about what will happen when we can actually be together, I want you…..” and he moans, and tightens his grip , and speeds up. His cell must be propped up, because I can see his other hand cupping his balls.

And his abs tightened up and ropes of cum splashed all over his taut stomach, watching some of it slide down those sinful iliac furrows……now I know why gay men call those cum gutters, and I swear I was drooling. I just wanted to lick him clean. My nipples were so hard they hurt and my pussy throbbed with need.

Muttering and cursing under my breath about the time difference I sent back a text message.

* Breakfast looked delicious. Wish I could have helped with that. I’ll see what I can do to make that worse, later. Flights and scheduling are up to you. Good night and sweet dreams, Solo.

You bastard.

Destroyed me, for days you did. Can’t even think properly and all I see when I close my eyes is that…..Dear God above. I’m dripping. Just dripping wet.

W A P indeed. This is ridiculous. My thighs are sticky, my panties are ruined, and I cannot stop thinking about that concealed weapon and how well you wield it.

You owe me a slew of sex toys. So many of those poor defenseless mechanical bastards lost their lives because of you, their numbers decimated, families destroyed….. “ mum, why won’t daddy ever be coming back to the bedside drawer? He’s been gone so long. I’m worried…. ” She doesn’t know how to tell her poor insertable battery operated offspring bout the power surge that cost da his life, and how hurled across the room in frustration, he had shattered on impact, and they couldn’t even have a proper burial…..

Oh I’d get so goddamned close, feel my center coiling up, tighter and tighter, nerve endings on fire…muscles tensing, cunt throbbing

, My toes would curl, and my legs would shake, and I’m making all sorts of noise…….And then…..

Slipped through my grasp, and I’m whimpering in frustration. What’s worse, is I can see you doing that for little lip biting thing that you do, trying to appear sympathetic, whilst at the same time trying not to laugh, and failing that, you actually laugh out loud. A deep resounding belly laugh. The infectious kind that has everyone else laughing. Mocking me.

So I don’t dare mention it.****

And the tension builds. I become testy. I descend into irritated. I have genuine concerns that I will make the complete transition to bitey angry velociraptor and lose the ability to morph back, or occasionally pass for humanoid. A best friend took pity on me and sent me this fantastic toy her girlfriend swears by. One end is insertable, it’s rechargable, has a billion different intensities, and then the other part is , how do I describe it? Well, there’s an indentation. More like a hole, really. And that’s where your clit goes.

It isn’t like it actually comes with instructions. That’s fair. Neither do we.

So, I messed with it. Some of the intensities were lovely. Some of them were waaay too much. A few of them annoyed me. I’ve never been a fan of the start stop thing. Apparently, there was some sort of harmonic convergence, and everything lined up, nudge nudge wink wink, and between the internal stimulation and the external felt almost like sucking, I swear.

Well, the top of my head came clean off, the skies opened up, the choir of angels sang to me, and you KNOW they all looked EXACTLY like him.

I think I passed out. I’m not certain how long I was blissed out, but I can say it put a smile on my face, and restored my faith in humanity. I was also no longer evil.

Once again fit for human consumption I resume sunshine and rainbow emails. “ Hi! How’s your day been? ” That sort of shit. He’s pretty but he’s not stupid. Video call request. Uh oh.

" Would you like to tell me what is actually going on? “

” Since you were kind enough to give me a choice, no, I would rather not. It’s embarrassing. Would you be satisfied with I have it sorted now? “

” No, I don’t believe I will. And, I love the haircut. Quite fetching"

I blushed, which was even more embarrassing. I don’t blush.

"Thank you. I needed a change. They pushed my start date back on my new job, and I was struggling a bit “

"You’ve been uncharacteristically quiet about that video I sent, and that took a great deal of trust and nerve on my part…”

" oh my stars! I can ONLY imagine and I may never have the words to tell you what sort of an effect that has…. Ummm…. Had….. I really think this is a conversation better had in person…… This is…. gah…..I …. Damn you. I used to be articulate. “

And then he laughed. I slapped the webcam away so it stared at the wall. I was going to need a minute to pull my shit together.

"Y/n? Are you there? Where did you go?”

" Just a second. …. “

I flipped the camera back, features all in place. ” Sorry. I know. I’m hysterical. If I’d had the opportunity to do stand up school you might have seen me rather than Jon at Fringe Festival. “

"But I want to see you. I hate that you have to quarantine.”

"Montenegro and Rwanda have no quarantine requirements. However, I don’t know that either of them are a ) recommended or more importantly, safe for Kal. There’s always Dubai and French Polynesia" I said laughing .

" I’m pretty sure you just want to go home, sleep in your own bed and have your own routine. I get that. There isn’t anywhere you can be invisible. I on the other hand, already am. So, if you want me somewhere, then, you make that happen. My needs are simple. Books, coffee, life water, or maybe you know someone who can actually hook me up with that botanical water I keep hearing about, that I can’t freaking get in the middle of the US? IfI have to stay put in one place for two weeks, ideally I’d love to smoke, I’ll need to eat occasionally, and a treadmill would be the cherry on top. Don’t you have people for things like that, Hero? “

And I smiled at him, with a devilish twinkle in my eye, because, now, it’s ON.

In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned that they pushed back my start date. I mean, I didn’t think anything of it. He was working , for fuck’s sake. Damn Netflix to eight hells for telling me there is a thing that exists called Inside the Episodes, and then when I go to play it? Oh, NO, y/n. You may not have this viewing pleasure. I’m starting to think it’s a conspiracy.

Two days later, there’s a knock at the door. I get my firearm, and I answer. Look, I’m American. I know that the neighborhood I live in can be a bit touch and go and don’t get me started on the “entertainment” that emanates from next door, but I don’t get visitors, and no one just knocks on the door. I look out, and it’s a man in a well tailored black suit, and there’s an SUV in my driveway. What the fuck?

I open the door, Glock at my side, behind the door frame, “Can I help you?”

“ Are you Y/n L/n? ”

“ Yes, but there must be some … ” the man hands me an envelope.

“I’ve been instructed to wait in the car”, and he turns on his heel and walks back to the SUV, gets behind the wheel and states straight ahead. I’m looking for a camera. What kind of stunt is this? I shut the door, put down the gun, light a cigarette and open the envelope.*****I’m tired of waiting. I enjoy the getting to know each other part, but distance is not helping. Throw some things in a bag, and come on. If you forget something, I’m certain it can be duplicated. You had mentioned you may have picked up a few things. I hope you don’t forget those.

And he signs it;

“Tired of being Solo”

Did I mention it was on?

Well I’ve had a bit of experience packing for trips, there was a time in recent memory when I was traveling thirty six weekends out of fifty two. I am quite talented at gathering what I need, making sure it fits in an appropriate case, that I can manage, and have the right things in the requisite number of carry on bags. In precisely thirty seven minutes, I locked the house, engaged the alarm and startled the driver by knocking on his window.

“Did you want to unlock the door so I can put this in the back seat, please? ”

Myself situated, bag on the floorboard opposite side and my purse and carry on next to me, I assumed this would be a very short ride to the airport. I’m literally minutes away. The driver asked me if I wanted to smoke. I laughed and said I did but it wasn’t allowed in hired cars. He told me it was in this one. I said that I didn’t see the point as we be at the airport in minutes. “No, ma'am. Begging your pardon. I’m to take you to ….” and he looks at a screen. …And says “Spirit Airfield”. Ok. NOW, I’m smoking.

[kaunis-sielu]

Schoolyard: 9

It’s fun watching Thor work. He charms and chats with people, making them feel important and listening to their suggestions. You know that you’re just eye candy here, but when one man starts talking about vaccines and how ineffective they are you can’t stay quiet,

“I mean herd immunity right?” He says with a laugh.

“Actually, herd immunity should only be used in cases where a person physically cannot get immunized due to other health conditions. It shouldn’t be used just because someone doesn’t want to get an immunization.” The man laughs uncomfortably then gives Thor what you assume is his attempt at a charming smile.

“It’s like she’s a doctor or something.” He laughs and Thor looks coldly down at the other man.

“Mr. Pierce, my wife is a doctor.” He says shortly.

“W-wife?” Mr. Pierce says looking embarrassed.

“What kind of doctor are you?” T’Challa, the King of Wakanda and a friend of Thor’s asks.

“Pediatric. I just worked my last few days for a while but plan on getting back to it when I can.”

“Being Queen is a lot of responsibility.” T’Challa’s wife Nakia says, “it takes dedication to have a job outside of that but it’s possible.”

“I don’t need full time, just something to make me feel like I’m doing something good with my time.”

“I understand completely.” She says with a kind smile. You’ve got a feeling that you and Nakia are going to be good friends.

The rest of the night goes smoothly, although it seems that Mr. Pierce has a big mouth because several people come and congratulate you and Thor on your marriage. Some even seem a bit put out that they weren’t invited to the wedding. Neither of you give them any answers, you still don’t know how this conversation is going to go but you’d rather keep quiet until you can get it out of the way.

You step out for a moment, just needing a second alone, well with Bryn on your six, for a minute. Frigga was right, when you’re not in the crowded room it’s chilly and the little gauze fabric isn’t really enough. You’re looking over the pediatric wing when the soft material is draped over your shoulders.

“Elskede.”

“Thank you, krigeren min.” He smiles at the nickname.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, it’s just a lot. Now everyone knows that we’re married and I don’t know how I feel about any of this.”

“I know it’s a lot, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have called you my wife but I lost my temper.”

“Ah, so you’re not perfect.” You tease and he laughs.

“No, and if you ever need reminders just ask Loki. They will tell you.”

“Yes they will.” You agree with a little smile.

“We can leave whenever you’re ready.”

“One more glass of champagne? I’d like to say goodbye to Nakia and T’Challa too.”

“Of course. We have an open invite to go and visit them if you’d like.”

“That would be wonderful. I’ve heard Wakanda is incredible.”

“One of my favorite places to go.” He agrees as you turn and walk back toward the party. You slip your hand into his as you walk, it’s so natural now to just be touching him. When you get back into the room one of the men gives you a look that you don’t like then approaches.

“Excuse me. I read that you were cheating on the Crown Prince with people in the States. Is that true?” You stare at him, surprise on your face.

“Volstagg. Remove this man.” Thor orders, his deep voice carrying causing several people to look, “I will not allow such disrespect.” Volstagg hurries the man away from you.

“I’d like to go.” You say softly and Thor nods. He gives T’Challa a handshake and you and Nakia hug then he places a protective hand on your lower back and guides you out of the building. While you wait for the car Thor takes your hand and gives it a little squeeze.

“Don’t pay him any mind Elskede.” He says when you look up at him.

“It’s hard not to. I know what he said isn’t true but it still makes me look bad.”

“Min dronning,” he practically rumbles the words, “how can I make it better?”

“Just, let me process this okay? Be patient with me?”

“Of course.” He agrees pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. God he makes you weak in the knees. You follow Bryn down the the car then curl into Thor on the drive home. He keeps an arm around you as you ride back to the house, neither of you say much, he just trails his fingers up and down your arm.

When you get back you say goodnight to Sif and Volstagg then head to your room. Before you can get there you run into Odin.

“Father? You should be resting.”

“I’m fine. I need to speak to you.”

“I’ll leave you alone.” You tell them before pressing a soft kiss to Thor’s cheek.

“No, both of you.” Odin says gesturing for the two of you to follow him back to his rooms. Once you’re there he points at the seat for you to sit.

“I’ve come to a decision.”

“About what father?” Thor asks and when you look at him he looks as puzzled as you feel.

“I’m going to abdicate the throne to you.”

“Yes, father we’ve talked about this. After we get our annulment I’ll take the throne.” Thor says and you’re surprised, you had no idea this was happening.

“No, I’m abdicating in two days.” You gasp and Thor cries,

“What?” As Odin holds up a hand to silence you both.

“I have less than six months to live. The doctor told your mother and I tonight. I still have things I need to teach you but the best way to do so is with you as King. Besides, I want to live the remainder of my time with my wife. Being an old married couple.”

“Father-.”

“Thor, my Son. My first born and my heir, I know this isn’t what you wanted or had planned but this is what needs to happen.”

“This isn’t what the plan was!”

“I know.” Odin is calm but Thor is anything but. He storms out of the room and you’re left sitting there with Odin. He goes to follow him when you stand,

“I’ve got this. Please, rest, give yourself as much time as you can with them.” You tell him and he gives you a tight smile before you follow Thor out the door nearly crashing into his sibling. “Loki?”

“I saw him leave, I know where he will go and I’ll bring you there but you can’t tell him it was me.”

“Why?”

“Just in case he’s mad, he won’t get mad at you like he will me.”

“Deal.” You tell them and they lead you away from Odin’s room. “Do you know what Odin spoke to him about?”

“Yes, father is abdicating. We don’t have much time left with our father do we?” Loki asks softly as the two of you move quickly through the palace.

“There are some things we can try, but they won’t cure him. Just give him more time. I’m sorry.” Loki nods once, they don’t say anything until they stop before a short corridor with a tapestry hanging in it. They move the tapestry to one side and you see another small hallway.

“He should be in there, left hand door way at the end of the hallway.”

“Thank you Loki.” You tell them giving their hand a squeeze. Sure enough you find Thor storming back and forth in the small room. You don’t say anything, he throws a bottle across the room where it shatters into pieces, then sinks down onto the older couch in the corner of the room.

“I’m sorry.” He says gruffly and you move slowly into the room. You step in between his legs and he wraps his arms around you. He takes a deep shuddering breath and you rest one hand on his shoulder and card the fingers of your other hand through his hair.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” You assure him softly, it’s then his shoulders begin to shake and soft sobs escape him. You let him cry against you, just carding your fingers through his hair.

“I’m not ready.” He says, his voice thick.

“You’re not ready for what?”

“To lose my father.”

“Oh Honey.” You soothe, that’s what this is all about. You thought maybe he was upset about having to become King too soon, or not having time to annul your marriage before doing so, but that’s not it. This is about a boy being afraid to lose his father. “You still have time min kjærlighet, there are things we can try. I’m not making promises that they’ll work but we can try.”

“Thank you.” He says into your torso, before falling silent again. When he speaks again it’s in a much more steady voice, “Did Loki bring you here?”

“I am not supposed to confirm or deny that.” He gives a small huff of a laugh.

“I’m glad they did.” He’s quiet again before he says softly, “Jeg elsker deg.”

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