i just went to some church thing and i found someone who said they remember me from high school 😦 which means they probably remember me walking round the school looking like this
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
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wanna be put in a room with craft stuff for 10 years
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I hate executive dysfunction because it's like-
I have something i need to do/want to do,
But then my brain just decides that
I AM BUT A WORM ON A SUMMER'S DAY, CAST UPON THE SIDEWALK AND LEFT THERE TO WITHER AND DRY ATOP THE STONE WHILE THE CURSED DAY STAR GLARES UNCARINGLY DOWN AT ME.
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are you the most annoying person in the world or do you just need to eat something: a memoir by me
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grief is such a weird emotion bc i can be fine most of the time even if it think about it, but then sometimes thinking about it digs it up all over again
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ADMITTEDLY it’s a very “teenagers first alcohol” kind of vibe so I prommy it’s not popular with any demographic that’s older than 25 gdgdgd
I’m only just recently leaving my baby tastebuds please bare with me (and give me drink recs so I can leave candy hell)
(Also sidenote but I genuinely didn’t expect so much uproar over GRAPE FLAVOURING because I’ve never heard anyone hate it so much so once again I’m convinced this is an American problem and not a problem with my beloved grape flavour 🙏)
passport you are GROWN im fucking crying looking at all of this. this is the equivalent of whiteclaw.
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after discussing with qpp like philosophers, im thinking very much abt making a ramble blog (to anyone who cares)
(EDIT, twas in my q) @angeldigital92 hey... its here.. if you even care.... /j
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wha dyou think is a good meda witrh sexual tention so palpbl you can taste it in the air but the relationsp is ver toxi c and so so ofucked up. inedd this for schuool i prommy thank yu creme and pelase exculed ace attorney thasnk sss uou
asks that had me going on my ao3 and looking through all my romance bookmarks and what i have found out is that 40% of these are ace attorney, 20% are disco elysium, and the other 40% is erasermic in specific. and i don’t think any of there really fit except maaaybe disco elysium? like. kim and harry don’t have a Toxic or Super Fucked Up relationship or anything, but it’s very clearly unhealthy as harry just pretty much idolizes kim and treats him as a saint. it’s not explored deeply in the game but it’s definitely There it is Shown. and sometimes people like to explore how weird and unhealthy their post-game relationship could be; though the most i’ve seen is just ppl having them be together and be happy which is like. fine i gouess . i just think their unhealthy dynamic is really interesting. uhmmmm. Oh definitelyyyy venom. everyone knows venom is gay as fuck but also really fucked up. ig spideypool too ? but like. literally anything involving deadpool. any relationship. it’s going to have sexual tension off the charts and be extremely fucked. because deadpool is there. you dont even need to get into the spideypool comics for this you can just watch the second deadpool movie scene where …. you know . uhmmm. i dont knowww. steven universe??😭😭 it has a fair amount of fucked up and toxic relationships and some of those definitely have Some sort of tension. um. checks hand. the owl house …? idk if raeda is that fucked up but ehh ….. oh i think Amphibia definitely counts tho. they don’t have sexual tension but the main three definitely have Some sort of tension going on and their relationships are allllll so fucked. yeah i don’t know chief. i’ve heard hannibal is prime very toxic and fucked up relationship with sexual tension but i haven’t seen it. idk good omens?? that pirate show ofmd or something?? do the gay ppl in there have a toxic fucked up relationship or are they just gay???? i havent seen those either. bbc sherlock. superna
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also i admire dws refusal ever to engage with language barriers
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marriage hcs with mithrun and kabru? im a huge sucker for domestic stuff lol
Ya!!
2,500 words
Dungeon Meshi Spoilers ‼️❗️
no tw I don’t think
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
♡︎ Mithrun ♡︎
Mithrun’s proposal isn’t big. He just slips the ring on your finger and tells you it’s happening.
He wouldn’t care what the wedding is like, just tell him where to be and when. Though if you insist on his opinion he’ll tell you that something simple would be most comfortable.
I wonder if there’s like a formal outfit for the Canaries… Or elven wedding garbs. Idk!
If you have a reception and you force him to dance, then you get to see Mithrun’s nobility training in effect! He can waltz!
He ends up throwing the bouquet because reasons but he just straight up launches it into Pattadol’s face.
Anyway, onto home life. Mithrun actually cleans a lot, just out of habit. So you don’t have a messy husband, yay!
But he doesn’t care much about decorating his surroundings. You’re the one who fixes up the house how you like it.
He teleports around the house but he’s very careful to always know where you are. He often sneaks up on you, not on purpose at first. After a while he starts sneaking up on you because your reactions are funny.
Every good couple finds ways to torment each other. It keeps the romance alive.
Mithrun puts his cold fingers and feet on you in bed. He does it with a straight face but you see the evil intent in his eye…
You reorganize on a regular basis, and sometimes move all the furniture two inches to the left. You do this when he’s gone and honestly he doesn’t notice until he starts running into things without explanation.
Mithrun is a very touchy person with you. And only with you. Nobody else.
He wraps his arms around you from behind a lot. He kisses your neck. He buries his face in your hair. And he’ll do it anywhere, this man does not care who sees.
People new to Melini hear about the fearsome, dangerous, cold Captain of the Canaries. And when they hear he has a spouse they’re like ??oh??
Then they see him cuddling you. His face is blank but he’s holding you tight, closing his eyes as he rests his head on yours. And they wonder if this is the fearsome guy they heard about.
Marriage looks good on Mithrun. He never thought he’d get married, ever. But he craves your company, he wants you around all the time, he wants every inch of your attention. Your affectionate smiles should be only for him. And he has no problem telling you that you’re his and your attention should be on him.
I mean, you’re one of the few desires he has. He’s going to soak up every bit of you, inject you in his bloodstream, graft you into the fabric of his soul. He’s not going to say that, but it’s true.
My guilty pleasure is making Mithrun into an obsessive partner, but that’s honestly just my headcanon/preference and not something I would insist is canon to his character.
Obsessive as in following you around like a lost puppy, always finding some way to touch you, overwhelming attraction, getting a bit irritable when you’re away, being very possessive, etc. But then again, that’s just my preference talking.
At night, he holds you like he thinks you’re about to disappear.
You cast sleep spells to help him rest at night or else he’ll be awake for hours and hours until his body gives out.
Mithrun likes being the little spoon, even if you’re smaller than him. But he also likes being the big spoon sometimes. #switch
You think cooking together will be sweet and fun, right? Wrong. It’s horrible. The first time you try to cook together you just keep bumping into each other, getting in the way, picking up things and setting them down somewhere and forgetting where that was. It gets a bit tense.
You don’t cook together again.
Mithrun actually likes cooking and will probably want to take turns making the food. Except his food is crap at first. Total shit. He’ll learn.
When Mithrun is irritated or mad at you gives you the silent treatment. He’s grumpy. He’ll mutter under his breath a little. Just love on him until he softens up. Wrap your arms around him from behind and harass him a bit.
Speaking of harassment, Mithrun does that all the time. You’ve got some paperwork or whatever that you’re working on? Well he wants your attention. Right now. And he’s going to get it.
You just see him walk into the room with that look in his eye, his pupils focused, his mouth set in a line. And you groan because you know he’s about to do everything in his power to distract you.
That means flopping down like a rag doll in your lap. Or kissing your neck, biting a bit. His hands are going places. He won’t outright say he wants attention, but it’s clear he wants it.
Then the moment you actually give him attention, he gets up and wanders away.
He steals the blankets at night, but fortunately does not spread out much.
I feel like Mithrun would have a bunch of weird hobbies. He’s just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks. There’s pottery, of course. But that’s kind of messy. He makes really dumb bowls too. Idk, they’re just dumb looking bowls.
He takes up gardening. But one time he didn’t realize he was getting too hot and he kinda collapsed face first into the squash patch. He tasted dirt that day. It was fine.
He tried knitting! He makes a horrible little stuffed pig and sends it to Milsiril. She doesn’t respond with a thank you letter or anything. She hides it in a box in her attic so she doesn’t have to look at it.
Mithrun isn’t concerned with being good at these things, he’s just doing them to do them. King behavior
I think you’d both eventually adopt a pet. And by adopt I mean Mithrun found this dog digging through the trash and brought it home.
You share each other’s clothes a lot. It doesn’t matter how small or big you are, Mithrun is pulling on your sweater and drowning in the scent of you. He also likes seeing you in his clothes! I imagine he wears tall-man clothes half the time tbh, idk I just like Mithrun in baggy flowy tunics that are rolled up at the arms… But elf clothes physically fit him better because he’s so smol.
Generally, your life is peaceful. You might go with him on monster surveys, or help at the noodle shop. You’re a team, you move in sync with each other, able to tell what the other is thinking just from a look.
Often around other people, you and Mithrun silently communicate through passing glances.
He never takes his ring off. Never. He gets grumpy if you take yours off.
Mithrun’s brother likes to visit. I headcanon that his brother has a family by now (UNCLE MITHRUN!!!) and they all love you. (One night he’s putting his niece or nephew to bed and they’re like ‘uncle Mithrun, the hat man doesn’t like you’ and he’s like ..okay. Thank you for letting me know.)
You two have a routine! Mithrun lives by routine anyway, so you quickly follow and do your daily things. It’s not boring though because you’re happy to be doing them together.
Life is calm and he’s content. It’s so much more than he ever thought he’d get. He’s going to savor every second.
♡︎ Kabru ♡︎
Kabru’s proposal is simple and intimate, but he makes sure to do things right. He tells you to meet him at a certain spot and that you’re ’going shopping’ for something. But lol no he’s proposing
Except of course something goes terribly wrong and Kabru is left a stressed out mess and wants to redo the whole thing. But tough luck buddy, you’ve already accepted. He sighs and furrows his brows and smiles, giving you that look that tells the world just how he feels. It’s soft and adoring and so in love.
Kabru is involved in the wedding planning for every step of the way. He’s almost a bit controlling with it.
He knows so many people that the guest list quickly reaches the hundreds.
Eventually Kabru gives up and you two plan to have something small and private instead. Which is a relief, because with something private he won’t feel the need to mask himself the entire time, to play the part.
He’s so! Excited! To see you in your wedding clothes!
He’s actually a bit gushy about it. Like he’s trying to hide his excitement. He puts his hand over his mouth to hide his smile, but his eyes are wide and he’s all riled up.
At the reception you honestly just sit in the corner together and whisper all night. For once he doesn’t intend on using this opportunity to gain information or insight.
Onto home life! Maybe for a tiny bit, you two live in his little room? Just until you get a house.
His landlord teases constantly.
Once you do get a place to stay, he actually doesn’t care about decorating all that much. He’s got stuff though, books and notebooks and random things he’s gathered over the years.
Kabru is a mess. He isn’t gross, but he’s unorganized and kinda just tosses his clothes on the floor. He leaves drawers open, and cabinets open.
He sleeps spread out, limbs everywhere. He drools sometimes. He makes you promise to not tell anyone that ever.
Kabru doesn’t cook. He’ll attempt it for you, though. He’ll try a lot of new things for you. He tries to eat more, to sleep more, and actually take care of himself. He knows you’d like that.
Kabru is pretty social. He keeps you up to date on every little endeavor he has going on. You have a routine of going to this restaurant or tavern frequently and he’ll lean in close to you and whisper about the people.
That guy over there? He’s got some information on this. Kabru’s going to buy him a drink.
This isn’t as effective as it was before Melini became a nation, though, when he was just an adventurer on the island. Because now Kabru is the King’s advisor and people are a little intimidated by him.
This frustrates him. When you get home and sit on the couch, he’ll lay his head in your lap or wrap his arms around your waist and complain. He likes being the advisor, but he doesn’t like how people think he’s intimidating and royal or important.
You visit Kabru at the castle often! Hell, maybe you even live in the castle with him! Idk how that works.
He has a lot of stuffy meetings with diplomats and important people, and you’ll often be on his arm. Galas, parties, dinners. It’s kind of exhausting. But Kabru loves every minute of it. He’s got you next to him, and he’s got the Kahka Brud diplomat tipsy enough to openly discuss the Queen’s affair with a servant. It’s so great.
You also share a lot of knowing looks with Kabru. When Laois does something Laois-y, you just look at each other.
Kabru isn’t much for PDA, he cares about who’s watching and what they think. He’s actually a little paranoid that people might find a way to use you against him. So he’s constantly planting these little ideas in people’s heads, about what might happen if anyone messed with you… It’s more subtle than I’m able to exemplify but you get the point.
Your husband has a room dedicated to his thoughts. His sherlock holmes mind palace.
It’s actually just a dark room where he puts pictures of people on the walls and connects them all with red yarn. You walk in with a lamp and he just flinches and squints at the light. Little freak.
He will talk your ear off, explaining each and every thought he has in his little web. Actually, doing that helps him sort things out and come to realizations!
He likes sitting on the floor with you in his lap, his arms around your waist. Idk he’s just the kind of guy to sit on the floor and stare at the wall in deep thought.
Kabru doesn’t really get mad at you. He gets very concerned if you do something reckless and might look a bit frustrated on the outside, but he generally keeps his cool and speaks respectfully.
He can be a bit snarky though.
Different from most couples, you don’t terrorize each other that much. You might terrorize him, but he doesn’t do that. Kabru doesn’t do pranks or cute little revenge things. Kabru’s idea of terrorizing someone is slowly gaslighting them into insanity over the years. He won’t do that to you, obviously.
He never takes his ring off! He’s hurt if you take yours off.
He dances a lot with you when you’re alone. He’ll come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and sway a little. He’ll grab your hand and your hip and spin you around the kitchen. There’s no music, he doesn’t need it. He just wants to see you laugh.
If you make horrible crappy food he’ll still eat it. He hesitates to tell you it’s bad. It’s only when you insist on his opinion that he’ll admit it’s shit. (But he does so nicely)
Wear his clothes. Please. Please wear his clothes, it drives him crazy. You’ll be the death of him.
Y’all are weird, you match each others freaks. He adores your quirks and hobbies and is genuinely interested in learning about everything.
Seriously. He wants to know everything. Every thought that passes through your pretty head, every inch of you, every beat of your heart. He explores your body a lot. He worships you.
Kabru never thought he’d get married, actually. Not that he was opposed to the idea, he just wasn’t considering it until he met you. He’s extremely loyal, though, and you’re stuck with him forever. He reminds you of that often.
He keeps a mental list of people who have flirted with you or checked you out. He has his eye on them.
Kabru likes being the little spoon!
He likes bathing with you, washing your hair. It’s just intimate for him.
Your evenings are spent talking about everything and nothing. And he’s not digging for info, he’s just enjoying himself.
He likes to watch you sleep sometimes. Don’t ask why, just let him do his thing.
Milsiril visits often. She’s a relatively chill mother in law, if not a bit clingy. But she won’t just cling to Kabru, she’ll cling to you too (after you prove your worth)
Milsiril unfortunately shows up without warning sometimes, and her timing is horrible. It’s usually when you and Kabru are kissing and your hands are everywhere and you’re being gently laid on the bed and—
Oh there’s elf mom.
He gets embarrassed with her. She tells a lot of stories she thinks are cute. Kabru does not think they’re cute.
Once she leaves there’s a huge sigh of relief.
Kabru speaks other languages to you sometimes, but he refuses to tell you what he’s said.
Life with Kabru is interesting! You’re always busy. You’ve always got something going on. But it’s those moments when you’re in bed together, when your limbs are tangled in the dark, that he treasures the most.
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i was just minding my business like scrolling to find new fics to read since i was so so bored and while i was finding some delicious fics (ahem ahem: yandere big brother bakugou x little sister reader) ur post suddenly idk the word (lumitaw (its a filo word)) and i was screaming and immediately dropped what i was supposed to read to read yours 😭😭😭
i got the worst memory ever to exist because i keep forgetting their names but i think i'll grasp them once the next chapter is out (hopefully) but yeaaah!!! baris reminds me of abbas in a way but ig he's a bit more.. brute yk what im talking about????? ig he's ok..
OH! and i have a theory about the painting, y/n's face getting smudged maybe because baldwin or SALAUDDIN decided to smudged it to forget how they look due to heartbroken (prob not baldwin,, but i feel like salauddin would do that ??) i guess im getting married again 😔😔 i feel like im betraying my pookie salauddin 💔💔💔🙏🙏 BUT ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE SNOW!!!! AMAZING AS ALWAYS!! can't wait for the next one already!! 😭😭😭 i think i'll send more of my thoughts if something crosses over my mind (prob when im in the shower)
ooohh i like your theory(portrait pictures at the end). i like it a lot. expanding on it:
Baldwin would probably cause the painting to be smudged because he's kissing it, kissing your lips, drunk off his mind, tears streaming down his cheek as he spends hours sitting in front of it, talking to the painting as if u still exist, begging u to come back from heaven, even apologising for all he's done, just please- come back, angel...
Meanwhile Salauddin would probably be staring at your portrait angrily. He understands why you had to leave but.... you couldnt have told him where you were goinh? Do you not think he couldve protected you? He wouldve used his whole army, gathered Muslims from all around the world to protect you. Did you... did you not have the least bit faith in him? deep down, he knows u did this to prevent a war between him and baldwin but.... Salauddin wouldve gone to war for you. Happily. This wasnt your decision to make alone. Now, he stands in front of your portrait, he has it in his palace now, and he doesnt say voice it out like baldwin, but he has complaints. HE keeps them inside, mentally talking to you, telling you just how stupid you were for sacrificing yourself, for jumping off that stupid cliff. How u shouldve just- just asked him for help ONCE, and he wouldve fought until his last breath if it meant keeping u safe. In his mind, u sacrificed yourself to protect Baldwin from murdering innocent muslims or anyone else u wouldve seeked help from.
And now? All Salauddin can do is pray for you. He wakes up late into the night and sits on the prayer mat, making dua for you for hours, reading Quran for you, has animals slaughtered on eid on your behalf, even doing charity and hajj (pilgrimage) on your behalf, just so that you can have more good deeds in your name. He still has the chess board u gifted him, but he's stopped playing chess. He never played the game again, it was only a painful reminder of you. The one person who he could never beat.
As for your painting, why it was smudged? Salauddin didnt want anyone to see your beauty, thats why he kept the portrait hidden in his room, but then he feared that one day when he's not around anymore, someone will see you. So, he used a rag soaked in turpentine to smudge your face, but couldnt do more than just the bottom half of your face. He thought that was fine, after all, thats how u did often appear when you were around, wearing a niqaab, a veil that covered your face.
Now that he looks at your eyes, he realises his mistake. He heard the wise tell him-
"Eyes are the windows to the soul."
He now knows it to be true.
This is what I think the portraits look like:
Notice that this is the earrings Salauddin gifted Y/n when she was in the market with him:
How Baldwin's been:
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Distractions
Summary: Despite how close the two of you are you're sick of waiting around for Jace no matter how much you like him, so you decide you’re going out on a date! but he doesn't like that.
r.q: childhood friends to lovers with modern frat boy Jace and he's like rlly popular and known to go from girl to girl. reader is like really smart and different from Jace so people get surprised when they find out you two are really close. Jace is always dragging you to parties and you’re always at his football games and he gets really protective over you. idek where im going with this 😭 but w smut too, your fics are acc amazing ty for your work 🙏
w.c: 2.5k
c.w: reader has hair (unspecified type, could be a wig wtv), Jace's anger issues, idk what locker rooms look like, cregan <3, fingering (f!receiving), p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), not proofread (as always)
a.n: I CANT STOP WRITING FOR JACE every request of him i get becomes my priority, literally when i woke up and saw this i had to get to writing it immediately like there’s smth wrong w me, anyways hope you all enjoy <3, this ones probably not my best T_T
Knocking on the door cuts through the music playing out of your speaker while your getting ready. “Come in.” you already know who it is. Your longtime best friend and housemate Jace who comes in with a smile on his face before it turns to shock as he looks you up and down, “woah.”
You finish clamping your necklace around your neck and look at him, “what do you want?” He leans against the door with his arms crossed with an amused look. you ignore how your heart flutters at him and turn away to adjust the dress you currently had on. “i just wanted to tell you im about to head out for the game, its a little odd to get all dressed up for a football game no?” The looks falls from his face as you drop your gaze from his in the mirror and fiddle around with your hair. he says your name breathlessly as he pushes away from the frame and takes a step into the room. You finally lift your head and meet his gaze in the mirror. “I'm not going to the game tonight Jace.”
He flinches as if you had thrown something at him and stutters for a moment his face covered in pure confusion as he brings one of his hands to his neck. “what do you mean you're not coming? you always come! if this is about me eating your leftovers then im sorry i thought you left it for me-” “i have a date.”
There it is. You didn't want to tell him. Hes always been, well a little protective of you, but you mostly blame it on your introverted personality while he's more of a people person. Youve had a crush on him for as long as you can remember but he's never been interested in you not the way you wanted him to be anyways, barely staying single or without a girl on his arm for a second you don't even know the girls names or maybe that's the point. He doesn't bring them around you but you know he's with them when he returns home super late with his hair all messed up. You fear he does it on purpose, he must know you like him and he doesn't bring them around you to make you upset.
You really didn’t want to tell him. You had thought maybe he would have just left for the pregame and just shot you a text and you could have faked some sickness or have pretended to go to sleep early. You walk over to your bed sit down grabbing your shoes to put them on. His silence is off putting. and you don’t dare raise your head to look at him.
“with who?” “This guy from lab, mark.” you finish lacing your shoes and stand up, finally looking at him and noticing the blank look on his face. “Jace-” “I don’t like this. i mean i don’t even know the guy how do we know he’s not some serial killer or something? Mark? Why don’t you just push it off for a couple days, come to the game and ill find out if he’d a good guy-” “I'm going whether you like it or not.” you cut him off. You couldn’t let him stop you from forgetting about him even if it was just for a bit. You grab your purse moving to push past him only for him to grab your arm. “Jace-” “You look beautiful.” The skin where he was holding you burns. You don't say anything as he lets you go and keeps his back turned to you. “text me?”
You try to ignore the pit that forms in your stomach at his sudden change of tone. you want to say something to him, you’re not used to seeing him like this. he would usually be pestering you about how you he asked you out or did you really like him but he was quiet. The sound of a horn outside brings you back to reality and you nod at his back as if he could see you and walk out. Putting on a fake smile as your handed a nice bouquet of flowers from mark, gulping to try and swallow the pit in your stomach.
—
“who the hell does this guy think he is?” His fist slams into the wall of lockers he's pacing in front of. All his gear is put on, his helmet is laying on the bench next to cregan who can only watch his best friend act like an idiot with an annoyed face. “Who the hell are you to care? Her boyfriend? No. So you have no say in it.” Jace bites his nails as he ignores the urge to hit the wall once more. “she’s my best friend.” “and? shouldn’t you be happy she’s on a date with this guy. i like mark he’s nice. what you like her or something?”
Jace ignores how is blood boils at the idea of you now sitting in your pretty dress smiling and giggling at some other guy that's not him. that doesn’t mean he likes you…. Jace attempts to come up with an excuse in his head about why he's so upset and why he's always been so upset over you going out with other guys, he usually just tells himself he's all worried about you and then he finds some girl to take you off his mind for the night…. that doesn't mean he likes you.
Cregan watches with a raised brow as Jace has an internal conflict with himself. He expected Jace to turn to him and admit it but all he does is grumble to himself and grab his helmet walking away from him. “I don't like her.” Cregan just shakes his head and picks up his own helmet following after him, “that fucking idiot.”
—
Mark is nice. Hes cute. He told you you could order anything you wanted off the menu since he was paying. He pays attention to you when you talk. Hes not Jace. You try your best to not think about him but you can’t help it. You wonder how the game is going, you’ve never missed one of his games. Maybe you pushed it too far and should have scheduled this date for a different day, but you know if you did Jace would have managed to convince you not to go and you would have fallen into the same cycle you always do. You nod your head and hum as mark tells you some story as you phone begins to buzz. You ignore it but it just keeps on buzzing to the point even mark looks concerned. “You can check it i don’t mind, ill use the restroom.”
You let out a hushed thank you as you check you phone to see what looked like a million texts from cregan.
‘hey i know the two of you are like fighting or wtv but you gotta see him asap.’
‘never seen him lose his mind like that’
‘got himself hurt’
‘nothing too bad but he’s bleeding’
‘know he thinks it cost us the game’
‘now he wont talk to any of us not even me’
‘think his head wasn’t in it’
‘know it’s not my place but he likes you so much’
‘losing his fucking mind over you not being here and being on some date’
‘please, for his sake at least try to talk to him, know you’re busy sorry to bother but I'm worried for him’
You stand out of your seat in shock as your heart begins to race. He was hurt? He likes you? Mark hadn’t come back yet so you open your purse and throw down some bills before running out of the restaurant. You sprint your way back to campus where the field was, thankfully living in a college town meant everything being super close by, you cant hear anything other than your own racing heart and the sounds of your feet as they slam on the floor.
You slam the hallway door open and cregan and some other guys look at you in shock. You stand there and take some steps towards cregan barely being able to catch your breath. Cregan stands up and looks at you shocked, “You ran here?” You just nod as you look at him expectantly, “where is he?” He uses his thumb to point behind him to the locker room doors, “Completely alone, everyone's already left.” You nod as the guys wish you good luck and leave.
You just stare at the doors for a moment, clarity finally hitting you as you realize how ridiculous it was you just left your date and ran all the way here. You couldn't just ignore cregans message. Pushing open the door its dead quiet other than the sound of running water. You walk slowly into the room the door closing behind you louder than you expected causing you to wince before you call out his name. He doesn't answer so you walk around the wall to where the showers were and you can see him outlined in the curtain and almost gasp but you cover your mouth to prevent anything from coming out.
“Jace?” His head finally snaps up due to your voice being so close and he looks in your direction, calling out your name softly in question. “I’m here.” “What are you doing here?” He turns off the shower and you turn your back incase he stepped out of the shower. You attempt to suppress the heat and want that fills your body as you imagine him naked before shaking your head, “Cregan texted, i was worried about you.” He just hums. You wish you could see his face but you hear the curtain open and the sound of him stepping out. “What about your date?”
You freeze as you clutch your purse tighter in your hands as you let out a deep breath. “What about it?” Hes suddenly standing so close to you you can feel his breath tickling your back and you gulp. “You’re here and not there, why?” One of his hands slides down your arm to grab your clenched hand as his forehead hits your shoulder, he's takes a deep breath as he awaits your answer. “Does it matter?” You don't want him to ask because you don't want to have to answer him. you don't want to have to admit to yourself you just wanted to be with him and nobody else.
“You wanna know why it matters? Because i was so fucking mad that you weren’t here i threw the fucking game and hit my head. because nobody makes me lose my mind like you do. Needed you here and you weren’t. You were out with some stupid fucking guy and i was so pissed.” He presses a kiss to your shoulder and you try to suppress the whimper that climbs its way up to your throat. “What are you saying Jace?”
His hands move to wrap around your waist and his head moves to your neck, You can feel his wet naked chest soaking the back of your dress and the heat of his breath on your neck “You know what, That i would go find a new girl to fuck because i couldn’t have you, that i think about you all the time because i like you so much, that it makes me sick when i think about you with a guy that's not me.” He begins to suck at your neck and you now do nothing to hold back the moan you let out as his grip moves to your hips pulling you back against him closer. “You mean it?” His hands slide down to the hem of your dress and he slides his hands under it and upwards pulling your dress up to poll around your hips, “of course i do baby, can i touch you?”
You let out a strained please and he pushes your underwear aside to run a finger down your slit letting out a groan, “fuck..” He quickly sticks two fingers into you and you fall back against him, withering under his touch as he moves at a rough pace, clearly very eager to please you and his other hand comes down from your hips to play with your clit. Your knees almost buckle from the amount of pleasure but he keeps you pressed tightly against him curling his fingers.
You swear he has magic powers because as you were right about to cum he pulls out of you and you whimper. He chuckles at your reaction and twists you around to face him, “want you to come around me.” He pulls you into a heated kiss as you two frantically pull off your dress, kicking it to some random corner of the locker room along with your underwear. “I don't have a condom.” You hear him swear and mumble to himself but you cup his cheeks to stop him, “I'm on the pill.” “It’s not the same-” “what are you not clean?” “of course i am-” “Then fuck me Jace.” He looks in your eyes for any signs of hesitation and when he doesn't find any he quickly pushes himself into you.
You feel like you can’t breathe, he pushes you against a nearby wall and feverishly pounds into you as his hands move to play with your tits. Hes talking but you can’t decipher what he’s saying so lost in your own pleasure. “fuck you feel so good fuck.” You tug on his hair and pull him to kiss you, your on the brink of release as the feeling of his thumbs rubbing on your nipples and the combination of the millions of emotions racing around you. You grip on his hair tightly and he groans, “You close?” You nod you head, “Wait for me.” You open your mouth to complain but his hips begin to move faster and his hands move to your hips to slam you closer to match his thrusts. “Want to come together.” His words are slurred as he’s approaching his release. Your hands scratch down his back as he groans in your ear, taking your ear and sucking on it.
“Come.” He breaths in your ear and you do, he hisses as he feels you pulse against him, your fluid completely covering him and he cant help but follow suit. He kisses you running his hands down your arms. As the two of you settle down he makes no move to pull out of you, seeming content within you.
“I'm gonna get a fucking earful from cregan.”
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young love | T.S
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or check out the series masterlist
summary ; a person from your past makes an appearance.
warnings ; arranged marriage!trope , fem!reader , idk what the hell is happening , SLOW burn
a/n ; i promise that i have a plot but i keep getting side tracked????
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"what the fuck are ya doing here?" you pull the front door shut
"hello to ya too."
you look at him again , brows raised "what brought ya here hmm?"
"ya didn't even invite me to your engagement party." he looks down at you, his voice teasing
"oh i'm sorry" you let out a small outraged laugh "i didn't know that inviting your ex boyfriend was an engagement tradition."
"aren't ya glad to see me?" he gives you a sly smile
"what brought ya here?" you grit your teeth , looking up at him
"i came here for ya."
"for me?"
"to save ya."
"from what?" your patience is thinning
"well i couldn't let ya get married to someone like 'im could i?" he chuckles "not after the love we had for eachother."
"jeremy." you pinch the bridge of your nose "that was years ago," you try to not raise your voice "do ya even know who i'm marrying?"
"oh i do."
"ya do?" you laugh "and ya thought trying to convince his fiancée to run away is a good idea?"
"you're making a mistake."
you just look up at him, laughing. "jeremy, ya slept with your sister in law, i don't think you're qualified to give me any kind of guidance."
"i'm a changed man" he leans down to whisper to you
"no you're not!" you let out an angry breath , trying to compose yourself "what do ya think tommy shelby would do if he found out you're here? hmm?" you hiss at him
"i love ya." he looks at you, his eyes bore into yours , inching closer
"oh my god" you put a hand over your face, turning,
"i do, i can't let ya go" he hand touches your arm
"oh my fucking god!" your voice becomes high pitched , your eyes opened wide "why are ya still talking? do ya want to get killed?" you whisper angrily, keeping your voice down
"i can't let ya do this" he begs , he pleads
"yes ya can, ya just walk away" your hands wave at the door
"did ya not hear what 'appened to his first wife?" his nostrils flare in frustration
your jaw slacks , you feel as if your eyes would bulge out of their sockets
"do ya know what would 'appen to ya if he heard ya say this?" your voice is low.
he closes his eyes, licking his lips before speaking "look..."
"no" you raise a hand , stopping him before he could get another word in "i don't particularly like ya, but i'm telling ya this as a favor for old times sake" you point at the door "leave , and never come back"
"i'm not leaving ya."
"this isn't a joke, jeremy" you can't help the angry chuckles that keep coming out of you "this is probably the stupidest decision you've ever made."
"do ya want to marry 'im?" his eyes scan your face, studying you
"this is none of your concern." infuriated wouldn't even begin to describe what you felt, "what i do with my life is none of your fucking concern"
"i know ya , this is not something ya would do."
"ya said it yourself, you're a changed man now" you try to explain, "we're different, ya and i are so different now, we are not the same kids we used to be. this isn't what it used to be."
he doesn't say anything else in return, he walks out, shutting the door loudly behind him
you have a hand over your forehead , pacing around the living room, renee is still in her place, watching.
"you brought him here didn't you?" your mother stood in the living room with her hand on her hips, looking you up and down
"mum ... please stop." you stop in your tracks , frustrated "how would i bring 'im here? with telekinesis? i didn't even know he still lives in birmingham for fuck's sake."
she comes closer , gabbing your shoulders "we need to forget this, never speak of it in front of tommy"
"what if he comes back again?" you start to panic "what if he does something worse than this?"
she closes her eyes at the possibility, she doesn't answer.
"this is just what i fucking needed" you turn, plopping down on the sofa
"jeremy is a sweet boy... he wouldn't do anything, would he?" your mum picks at her cuticles nervously ,
you look up with a raised brow "he fucked his brother's wife while we were dating, his brother who by the way raised 'im." you rub at your temple "his moral compass is as useless as that brain of his."
"god, now i know why i always hated him."
"and yet ya wanted us to get married at 17."
"well i didn't want him to knock you up."
"so ya tried to talk me into marrying 'im?" your mother's logic made your head spin faster than it already was "ya know what, forget i asked that" you wave a hand
"what are ya going to do now?" renee finally speaks,
you and your mother look at each other, before looking at renee
"i don't know.." you mumble "i 'ave to go see 'im today, to talk about the wedding venues" you groan, the stress of it all comes back to her
"okay" renee gets up, and sits next to you "ya just act normal, ya get this done, ya forget about it for today and then tomorrow ya try thinking about solutions."
you smile when you step into his office, your hands clasped in front of you, and he's on his chair, a cigarette dangling from his lips.
"why do ya look like that?"
"like what?"
"ya're too happy to see me."
you raise a brow "ya don't want me smiling at ya?"
"ya look possessed." he deadpanned, exhaling a cloud of smoke, his thumb scratching lightly at his lips, hiding his smile
you kiss your teeth, "i hope ya choke in your sleep." you walk up the chair and sit down
he chuckles, looking at you with his head tilted slightly "you'll miss me?"
"believe me , i won't."
"what's wrong?"
your brows pinch together "nothing is wrong"
"really?"
"yes."
"you're a very bad liar."
"i'm just ... tired" you shrugged, your voice squeaked
it's not that you're not used to lying, it's that you have a hard time lying to him
"how's your mum?"
a genuine amused smile pains over your lips, "she's good"
"who told ya?" he nods at you
"who told me what?"
"that i talked with your mother" he continues "was it your two nosy friends?"
"hey hey hey" you put a hand up "don't insult my friends"
"they are nosy, it's the truth"
-
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:3 IT'S ME AGAIN HEYYYU
SOOOO HYUNSU, BOTH MONSTER AND HUMAN SIDE'S REACTION TO A READER WHO'S NORMALLY SHY BUT WITH A MONSTER SIDE THAT'S ALL OVER HIM.
Like the monster side literally adores him and likes to annoy his monsters.
And also the monster side being a bad bitch in general cause we slay.
Again, feel free to ignore.
IM GONNA MARRY YOU FOR LEAVING ALL THESE LMFAO WHOEVER YOU ARE
Back from my five hour long hiatus (nap) and now back to my day job
SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2/3 OF SWEET HOME
Cha Hyun-Su x half monster clingy reader
Idk vro that’s the best title ur getting
Probably ooc but I don’t care
Starting with general if/when you turned hcs, and will gradually get into the main plot
Once he saw the signs of you turning into a monster he was extremely worried
He didn’t know if you’d be able to control it, like him, or if you’d turn fully into a monster like most of the people he’s seen before
And because he’s seen so many people turn and die painfully, he wants to make sure you don’t
Once he saw that you were able to control it, even at least a little bit, he was so relieved, and wanted to do everything he could to help you
He knows that since you’re a monster, (I’m not calling them special infectees fuck right off😭) you can’t really get hurt/die for the most part
But he still likes to keep you at a safe distance just to make sure his monster side doesn’t accidentally hurt you
(Not too far tho :3)
He always knew you were shy, so he knew that trying to teach you to control it would be a little bit difficult
That was, until you were in your monster form.
In your monster form, you were a lot more clingy towards him, which came as a stark contrast to your usual shy, closed off demeanour.
Not that he minds, he just finds it to be kind of a surprise
In his human form, he’s not scared of you accidentally hurting him or something as a monster
In his human form, he loves to let you cling to him
It reminds him that you’re still you despite the infection
This man can protect himself for sure. But let’s say you and him are doing whatever, maybe walking around, you’re both in human form and a (hostile) monster shows up.
His immediate thought is to protect you, because even though you can turn into a monster yourself, he forgets.
He goes to protect you, his monster side takes over (cause let’s say one of his desires is protecting you okay hear me out)
And then you, wanting to protect him, or show that you can defend yourself, or who know why , turn into your monster form and fend off the monster in some badass way
God damn. Maybe his human side is surprised but the monster side, if bro was out and saw that. You earned respect
The monster side of him has seen you before the transformation. All shy or whatever. He is also quite surprised when you turn and all of a sudden you’re all up on him
At first his monster side would probably push you away a little bit like “wtf is bro doing who are you”
Sometimes his monster side is a lil emo and has to be a lone wolf or something, but when you show up as a monster and follow him around and doing to him eventually he realizes you probably won’t stop until you turn back
His monster side pulls the whole “how pathetic and weak” thing when you cling to him, and you just go right ahead and let your monster self argue that
No matter how much you adore him as a monster, you can and will win a fight/argument against him
Maybe sometimes he lets you win. So what, a win is a win?
When your human side is out and you’re back to your shy self, both sides of him kind of miss your monster side
He likes feeling loved
—————————————————————
Um so sorry if this sucks
Hyun-su is the definition of this tweet
Tips on how to stop HEALING piercings from falling out r greatly appreciated thanks
Everyone should leave sweet home requests yes yes I do most if not all characters
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