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#incorrect chaos walking
prentissforpresident · 7 months
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Todd: I've defeated you and now I can lead the town.
Mayor Prentiss: Correct. Unless, of course, war were declared.
(The sound of the Land blowing their battle horn)
Todd: What's that?
Mayor Prentiss: War were declared.
(From this scene in Futurama)
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cissa-calls · 5 months
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Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 669
Agatha: “On the count of three, who should we steal 20 bucks from for ice cream? One, two, three:”
Wanda: “NO ONE?!”
Y/N: “STEVE!”
Agatha: “NATASHA!”
Wanda and Y/N:…
Wanda: “Agatha - do you have a death wish?”
Agatha: “l want a challenge”
Wanda: “You’re begging for a black eye”
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Enemy soldier: And who might you be?
Willow: Not a word.
Elora: Yeah, don't tell them anything, Kit.
Soldier: *writing on a notepad* Alright, we've got a 'Kit'.
Elora: Crap.
Kit: Nice going, Elora.
Soldier: *writing* And 'Elora'.
Kit: Dang it.
Willow: Would you two just shut it?
Graydon: Hey, there's no need to yell at them, Willow. I mean, it's an honest mistake, it could've happened to anyone.
Elora: Thanks, Graydon.
Graydon: *blushes*
Soldier: *writing* 'Willow' and 'Graydon'. Anyone else?
Boorman: Sorry, I've just got a quick question. So uh, if we tell you our names voluntarily do we get rewarded with maybe less torture than everybody else?
Jade: Seriously, Boorman?
Boorman: What? I think it's a valid question, given the circumstances, Jade.
Soldier: *writing* Alright, and we've got 'Boorman' and 'Jade' rounding out the party. Well, would you look at that? You're exactly the group of six renegades the Crone is looking for! So Congratulations; KiT, eLoRa, WiLlOw, GrAyDoN, bOoRmAn, and last but not least, JaDe--you're all going to JAIL.
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pr3ttym3ssy · 2 years
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Steve: Excuse me while I go get Dustin out of trouble.
Billy: might wanna put a pep in your step, I saw Eddie heading in his direction.
Steve: oh shit shit shit
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redhead-reporter · 10 months
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º ✧ 。 gosh all these people who LOVE mj all over my blog has me :'''')
it would sure be a shame if something BAD happened to her ...
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bookwyrm03 · 1 year
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Todd: So that’s my plan.
Viola: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.
Todd: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Viola: It fucking sucks.
Todd: That’s not constructive criticism.
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drchucktingle · 1 year
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Hi Dr. Tingle!
I was wondering if you have any advice for anxious buckaroos that are a little scared of putting themselves out into the world?
Maybe some advice you would tell your younger self?
Thank you for all you do <3
yes bud. part of my way on autism spectrum is that when i used to create EVERYTHING HAD TO BE PERFECT i would get so riled up by every small imperfection and if one little dang problem popped up then everything was ruined and chuck was in a BAD WAY.
there is no 'cure' for autism and i do not want my way to be cured, i LOVE being autistic, but this particular part of my trot was not healthy for me and i learned to adapt. part of my adapting trot was to start letting things be perfectly imperfect. it was small steps at first but now i can swim in a beautiful ocean of chaos pretty dang well.
anxiety and autism are not the same thing of course but maybe you can relate to this philosophical lesson of chuck:
when you create, whether that is with VISUAL ART or FOOD or A WALKING PATH THROUGH THE PARK or a BREATH OF AIR you have already made the perfect version of this thing, because it is a reflection of that moment on this timeline. you have CAPTURED THE NOW
any anxious feelings of 'am i doing this wrong?' 'is this weird?' 'is this incorrect?' 'is this awkward?' can always be answered with 'well this is perfect representation of right NOW'. if you are trotting with love in your way and fueling your path then THAT will shine through at the end and you will move towards something great, and the STEPS to get there are ALL perfectly imperfect.
to move it back to art, lets say you are trying to paint a field but you get out there with your canvas and you forget your dang GREEN PAINT. you might think 'DANG what a disaster i cannot paint the green grass gotta use red now this is the worst painting ever'. but here is the thing, that painting is not broken it is a PERFECT REFLECTION of what led to it and it is a PERFECT REPRESENTATION OF NOW because now is not perfect. what that painting says is 'this is the field of someone who forgot their green paint at home' and there is nothing WRONG with that. in fact that is exactly the kind of thing that makes trotting through this timeline fruitful and wonderful.
if you get anxious worrying about mistakes, maybe try thinking on idea that most mistakes fall into this category. dont worry bud we are ALL just bumbling through this timeline trying our hardest and making perfect imperfections.
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doumadono · 1 year
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Many things to discover (NSFW) Savoring the moment (NSFW) Douma - psychological portrait Hard-earned - Douma x Reader (NSFW) Anxious amidst the crowds - Douma x Reader Undiscovered desire (NSFW) A fit of jealousy Inked by desire (NSFW) Vowed to avenge (NSFW) “I love you more than life itself” Two shadows in love - Akaza & Koyuki (NSFW) Douma & Akaza - incorrect quotes Akaza & Douma KNY - incorrect quotes 2 KNY - incorrect quotes 3 KNY - incorrect quotes 4 Even though Senne koszmary - Urogi x Reader (NSFW) For the chaos and mayhem - Sanemi Shinazugawa x Reader (NSFW) When the stars align - Urogi x Reader Who’s laughing now? - Aizetsu x Reader (NSFW) The stalker - Muzan & Reader (NSFW) A decision - Sekido x Reader Fresh sheets - Sanemi Shinazugawa x Reader (NSFW) Pretty pussy - Muzan x Reader (NSFW)
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Upper Moons 1-3 & submissive s/o - NSFW headcanons Muzan & car sex - headcanons Threesome with Urogi & Karaku - headcanons Upper Ranks Demons & s/o having hard time orgasming - headcanons (part 1) Hashiras & s/o having hard time orgasming - headcanons (part 2) Upper Moons & Muzan & blind s/o - headcanons Upper Moons & Muzan in heat - headcanons (NSFW) Upper Moons 1-3 & injured s/o - headcanons Becoming the fourth wife of Tengen - headcanons Preening Urogi’s wings - headcanons Being an apprentice of Haganezuka - headcanons Akaza & male reader - headcanons Akaza & the puppy - headcanons Yandere Akaza headcanons Douma, Akaza & s/o walking a dog - headcanons Taking care of Douma when he’s hurt - headcanons Douma & period sex - headcanons Douma & s/o practicing Tessenjutsu - headcanons Douma learning about human emotions Douma & a puppy - headcanons Yandere Douma headcanons Douma & rainy days - headcanons Douma & a devoted s/o - headcanons Douma & car sex - headcanons How to capture Douma’s heart: the perfect personality Douma & sick gn!reader
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MAIN MASTERLIST DEMON SLAYER EMERGENCY REQS 3K FOLLOWERS EVENT 5K FOLLOWERS EVENT KO-FI COMMISSIONS
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trashogram · 23 days
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He Chose You (Pt. 12)
Lucifer/Reader: Lucifer chooses you to be the mother of his child. Rated E for Explicit.
(LISTEN… this story has gotten out of control and I need help.)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13
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“It’s alright, child.” Sera’s moods swung round like a revolving door. She could change and bend from someone motherly to a raging Force to an uninvolved observer in a millisecond. “You don’t know any better.”
She reach out and placed a hand on your cheek, perfectly warm and loving in her caress while her eyes remained like flint against the loveliest of features. “Everything has come to pass as it should. You’ll understand in time.” 
It made you sick. Your skin grew clammy as an acidic substance shot up your esophagus and your whole body pitched backward to escape.
You would’ve taken hours locked away with that asshole Adam before you stood another minute being condescended to by the Seraphim.
You were sulking, and you knew it, but you couldn’t stop. 
The building that you had been taken into to meet Sera in the first place served as some sort of Capital. It was grandiose and reached so high up that you couldn’t see where the damn ceiling ended. Perhaps it didn’t. 
You had to take great pains to escape it, navigating among high-ranking angels of all kinds filtering from both the ground and air above you in orderly chaos. It quickened your step to notice that a number of them did a double-take at seeing you. 
           They resembled different things, just as the angels outside did, although most of them appeared human-like. You wondered briefly if there was a rhyme or reason to it, or if God chose to make the woman you barely avoided running into resemble a moose because it made Him laugh. 
Once you’d escaped the war room, you had immediately breathed a little easier. Still, you continued on until you physically felt the tiny shocks and electric currents of warning ebb from your skin. It was as if Sera’s essence had stuck to you, her presence clinging to your frame to make a longer impression.
It had your skin tightening, muscles clenching as a chaotic flood of anxiety and fear prevented you from walking solidly. Too many ‘what if’s’ took you in and out of awareness, making you stumble over nothing. 
It had crossed your mind that Emily did not appear before you’d made yourself scarce. A part of you had wondered at that, feeling as though she’d have waited for you out of some concern for your wellbeing. 
Perhaps that was all for show, however. Sera was clearly excellent at appearing benevolent, and Emily had looked toward the Seraphim for guidance in front of you. It stood to reason that Emily could also be two-faced. 
The logic was sound and yet it made you wince, whether from shame at your incorrect judge or character —
‘Or how much she reminds me of Lucifer.’
You imagined Emily looking at you while stripped of any warmth and compassion. She quickly changed, morphing into Lucifer with hollow, unfeeling red eyes. 
It hurt.
Panic had you frozen in place a time or two before you’d gained a wide enough berth to stop. 
Beforehand you’d walked clouds so polished and flat you’d swear they were glass, amidst the more general population of Heaven with your arms wrapped around yourself. It felt needed when even those outside the Capital looked at you with interest, as if they knew. 
Maybe they did. Was it against the rules to keep secrets in Heaven? 
“We are literally judges, juries and executioners in Hell.”
“Executioners?” 
“What’re you talking about?” 
The recollection of a seemingly insignificant moment drew you to a halt. You stared at the pristine ground, fists knocking at your sides. The confusion on your face doubled when you looked up. 
Your ‘wide berth’ had led you far away from the crowds of perfectly content angels and their sleek, futuristic buildings. Farther than you’d anticipated, as ahead of you lay a line of trees that thickened into a dense forest. 
Like Earth, Heaven had a variety of terrains — or so it would seem. Child-like curiosity had you crossing the line between airy openness and into the thicket of pines. All varieties of fir, pine, and larch coexisted with one another, bowing and swaying in the wind. There was nothing to be afraid of, but a sense of oddity hung in the air as you walked a perfectly sculpted path. 
The smell of damp earth and lilies rose from the ground at your feet. A warm breeze rustled the hair that hung limply around your face. Birds sung merrily above you, flitting from branch to branch. 
It occurred to you that no matter how deep you traveled into the woods, the sunlight never waned. 
And yet faintly you heard roaring. It was distant but growing louder with every step you took. 
It was not an animal nor man calling out to you from far away. You felt the change as the smell of sap intermingled with that of salt on the wind, and the floor turned from nettles and moss to pale sand. 
You rubbed your eyes as the trees parted and seemed to disappear as they revealed a beautiful, sparkling sea. 
Sun cast off the surface of the ocean, bouncing against a kaleidoscope of multicolored clouds surrounding it. And you had Dejá vu before blinking away the flash of purple and honey in your eyes. 
You watched tiny waves as they fell against the shoreline, seafoam disappearing within moments. It continued, mesmerizing you, as you ambled toward it. When the water finally rushed over your feet, it carried tiny seashells that scuttled around you. And unlike the ocean you were familiar with, this one was a perfect temperature, no acclimation required. 
For the first time since arriving in Heaven, you felt yourself smiling genuinely. 
You gave into the urge to squish the wet sand between your toes and waded into the water up to your ankles. Your worries began to wash away with each pull of the tide, slow and steady. 
Eventually, you meandered away from that singular spot and began to trek parallel to the shore. The sun never got in your eyes nor did the sand get whipped up and blow into your mouth. Everything from the waves to the breeze was gentle. 
As were the eyes that were upon you. 
As soon as you felt that stare, you stopped in your tracks. Just the thought of turning to them was daunting. 
You don’t have to look, but you do. 
There’s a woman with you now, with hair so long and blonde it’s almost white. Her chin, lips, nose, and eyes are delicate and soft.
Eve had lingered upon your every step once you’d arrived in her neck of the woods. 
She was glad to see that the effects of the beach it hid were enough to soothe you, even if it was more of a distraction than a cure. You deserved something good, even if it was relatively meager compared to everything you’d endured up to this point. 
Your figure grew smaller as you crossed the sand, away from the first woman’s hiding spot. You were none the wiser, engrossed in the soothing give and take of the water. It made it easier for Eve to creep up the beach only a few paces away, free to follow your path without ruining your tranquility. 
It reminded Eve of a simpler time when she was the one being eyed curiously from afar. 
*** Tag List: @crescent-z, @for-hearthand-home, @undertale-is-sansational, @loslox, @navierkalani, @yaimlight, @ivoryviness, @crystalplays28, @flowerempress, @wally-darling-hyperfixation, @altruisticradiodemon, @moonlight-readings, @halparkebitch, @charliecharlie65, @sockgoblin, @cocomollo, @caniseethefourthsword, @squeegeeclean, @crow-twink, @an-emovision, @marydragneell, @lafy-taffy, @fandom-imagines1, @loquacious-libra, @glowymxxn, @avadakadabra93, @froggybich, @hamthepan, @ukor02, @adaizel, @boogiemansbitch, @vinillies, @lbcreations-blog, @thesoundresoundsecho, @serenity-loves-red, @alientee, @aquaamythest96, @0strawberrysorbet0, @fluffy-koalala, @washeduphazbin, @rebecca-hvnstn, @velvette3, @kermitdafroggy, @wpdarlingpan, @apatcheworkofproblems, @cherry-cola-100, @pink-apples001, @al-of-the-stars, @backinthefkingbuildingagain, @martinys-world, @alastorssimp, @wobblesthewaffle, @shikiribee, @undertale-anomaly20, @asakura-fangirl-stuff, @ringsofpersonti, @angelicwillows, @wingoodlilboymyway, @cimadreamer, @museofzealoushope, @oneiric-rotaerc, @call-me-nyxx, @darling-angel222, @elementwind91, @bloody-delusion-expert, @martinys-world, @devilslittlebabyxx
Forgive me if I forgot to tag you or the tags don’t work, I don’t know what that keeps happening.
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writingoddess1125 · 8 months
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Fight for Pleasure
Mihawk x FemReader
Now this is some true Kinky shit- 👍🏽 Enjoy 😉
Sorry it's late!
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MUST BE 18+ TO READ!
⚠️Warnings:⚠️ Hard Sex, Unprotected sex, Biting, Blood drawn, Fighting.
Day 3. Hate Fuck
"Good Evening Ma'am" the handsome Marine bowed respectfully to you holding a arm out to you which you ignored and stepped off the dock of the ship and passing him. They constantly tried to do this, bringing the prettiest of their Marines in order to woo you into cooperation.
Being one of the Warlords on occasions you were summoned to nice places like this as a 'Show of Good Faith' in this case it being a resort which was emptied for the Warlords and paid in full. The World Goverment finding it cheaper to just let the Warlords indulge in whores, food and drink then letting them roam at times.
That and this was usually what they did in order to ask for some sort of favor which you imagined would be arriving by tommorow morning. Walking into the Resort you could already hear the Chaos- Mainly one source of it being the newest member Buggy the Clown.
Chaos which was the drunk floating clown having a field day with some booze and laughing with someone that was obscured- truthfully not wanting to bother checking.
You made a B-Line right for the bar. Seeing the other Warlords there already having their fill of paid for delights. Even passing by Boa who seemed just as unamused as you and you two gave a brief nod at each other.
Stepping into the bar you saw the lone Bartender, clearly not as heavily used since the bottles of ale, rum, and other strong liquors were out in the main resort area were most of your fellow Lords were gathered.
"A Daiquiri please" You asked, putting some berries in the tip jar. The Bartender smiling at this and quick to start making the order.
"Another bother of Tarapacá" You heard from the voice you loathed the most- Sending a glare up to your left to see non other then Dracule 'Hawkeye' Mihawk. Aka the stuck up asshole you were forced the share air with.
"You know a please to him wouldn't kill you-" You hissed in annoyance, Typically not caring for impolitness from your peers but Mihawk was an exception to this rule.
He sneered down at you, waiting for the bottle as he rolled his eyes not even bothering with you.
"Ah isn't it the tramp- Don't concern yourself with how I speak to others" He growled at you, But your own temper flaring at his insult.
"Tramp!? Oh you're one to talk- Everyone knows you probably have more spawns then Big Mom" You snapped back which made him glare hard at you, His yellow eyes staring hard at you as his face twisted up- The Bartender gently setting down the bottle for Mihawk then the Daiquiri for you.
"Let's not forget that little girl you keep on your island" You chime in a sing song voice, His hand clenching as you stood up with a smirk- You were one of the few who knew of Perona and while you were aware he most likely hadn't been intimate with her didn't mean you wouldn't throw it back in his face.
"How are you aware of that child?- Let alone got the incorrect idea of my relationship with her. Or My Island" He said hissing at you, You turned back with a sarcastic smile sipping your drink.
"I have my ways Hawkeye" You say sweetly, which made him grab the bottle and fling it in your direction which you dodged.
"You spied on me and went to my home?-" He guessed correctly which made you smile. Downing your drink you kicked one of the chairs in his direction which he snatched and tossed away, Marching towards you pissed. His eyes practically glowing at this imformation you toss the glass at his feet and glare at him- This making him stop.
"So tell me...What keeps me from killing you" He hissed out, rage and hatred pouring from his lips like venom.
"Cause you like me too much~" Hou chimed, walking from the bar completely- Warmth blooming in your stomach at how his eyes stared at you the sour taste of remembering it was Mihawk snapped you from those thoughts.
Walking down the hall to were your suite was, you tried to push away the small argument from Mihawk, whistling a mindless tune before the world spun- Feeling yourself slammed against a near by wall you glared hard as you saw it was Mihawk again- The smell of wine on his breath made you sneer.
"What do you think you're doing you drunk asshole" You hissed, reaching forward and roughly grabbing the collar of his shirt. After a moment of silence he crashed his lips into yours, Biting them roughly as he did so- Growling you pull him closer as the taste of blood and wine filled you senses. You pulled back to get air in your aching lungs and bit down on his neck earning a pained hiss from the fellow Warlord. "Perverted Bastard"
"Vile whore" Mihawk hissed at you- your hand shooting up and grabbing a handful of hair and yanked his head back which earned him growling moan. Quickly he yanked you towards the suite pulling at his coat as you practically tore open the hotel room door.
"F- Fuck!!" You screamed out, feeling him slam you into the nearest wall hard. Picking your legs up and wrapping them around his waist he glared hard at you in what could only be described as disgust, before taking his free hand and ripping your top open to see your exposed breast and attacking them with his mouth.
You moaned out as his hands ripped away at your bottoms, his teeth pulling and Biting your nipples as his hands dug into the flesh of your ass. Your own hands ripping away the wide brim hat and tossing it to the side which earned a glare from the Man. Smirking at this you take the opportunity and lean down, Running your tongue up his neck earning a rumbling moan from him, Until you bit down hard, feeling blood touch your tongue and him grab your hair to yank you away glaring hard as blood dribbled down the side of his neck.
"Fucking animal-"
Hawkeye mutter before harshly tossing you onto the large bed, earning a surprised yelp from you as you bounce on the bed- Glaring at his smug face as he followed after you and crawled towards you quickly moving to pin you but you slipped from his grasp. In a flash you grabbed at his pants and ripped them from the side with a smirk on your face and a scowl from him.
"These were expensive-" He growled as he tosses his ruined clothes to the side, his throbbing cock now on full display.
"Aww can't take what you dish out~" You tease gesturing to your shredded clothes on the floor. The two of you glared at each other at a stand still to see who would attach first- Mihawk suddently springing I to action as he dove for you once more, this time grabbing your leg and trying to pull you to him.
You laugh at this and instead scoot yourself close to him throwing him off completely as you pounce on him- knocking him to his back hard enough that the bed snapped and tilted in the directed of the force, You Sitting on his chest with a evil smirk.
"Not fast en- EEP!" You yell as he sits up suddently and grabs your waist keeping your upper body high as you fall against his stomach. He smirked down at you, seeing your face red before dived his mouth inbetween your legs.
Arching your back in pleasure as you felt him aggressively eat you out, trying to pull yourself up from the position but he only tightened his grip- The feeling of his hardened member pressed against your upper back from the upside position, as well as the head rush from the blood rushing from your head.
Moaning loudly as your legs tightened around his head. His fingers digging hard into the flesh of your hips as you came into his awaiting mouth and cut air from him. Feeling how he lapped at every drop you gave as your body shuttered and spasmed from pleasure. He then tried to pull away till you locked your legs keeping him from pulling back, a evil smirk on your face. He struggled for a few seconds, until you felt his mouth open again and his teeth brush far too close to your clit like he was going to-
"YOU BETTER NOT!" You yelped and released him quickly, moving yourself away from the cackling man as he ran his tongue over his teeth and lips like he savored the taste.
"Aw can't take what you dish out Darling?~" He growled out smiling at your defensiveness and suspicion. Glaring hard at him your hand shoots out and grabs his cock.
He grunted as your grabbed him roughly, your sharp nails gently running up the side of his shaft like a pleasurable and silent threat. Leaning down you place a long slow lick over the length of his shaft, earning a hissing moan at the sight and feeling.
"Aww you got quiet quick~"
You smile at his reddened face as you made him come undone your fingers squeezing on the swollen head of his cock earning a angry growl from him at your teasing.
"Don't tease me women" He hissed, grabbing your wrist and yanking you so you were on him your bare chest pressed onto his as he went to bite your neck once again pushing forward you headbutt him which knocked him back off the bed but he pulled you with him as you both landed and crushed the nightstand.
Taking advantage of your dazed state he rolled the two of you over on the rubble and pinned your hands next to your head, A dark gleam in his eyes at this.
Tossing your head back as you gave out a forced moan as he entered you quickly and hard. Still sensitive from the brutally forced orgasms of before as Mihawk snapped his hips to fill you body and soul, setting a brutal pace he began to fuck you like an animal. Your body sliding across the carpet as he fucked you as far as possible, your moans of bliss ripping through your throat at the speed. His fingers releasing your hands which fly to wrap around his back.
Mihawk grunted hard as he slammed into your hips again, ignoring your cry in bliss from the multiple orgasms at this point and his own hips losing its rhythm from his own coming undone, his fingers digging into the carpet around your head as he gave a few more powerful thrust- Your nails slicing into his back and drawing blood as you screamed to another hard orgasm drew him in finally. A howl in pleasure ripping through his throat as he stuffed you as deeply as possible, he fell onto you from the force as the two of you laid there a panting mess.
You foggy to the brain feel him run his tongue over the cut on your lips, parting your lips at the request you kiss him deeply in the after glow of it all. You two pulled back only when Mihawk finally gets the strength to pull out of you and roll onto his side with a tired sigh.
"Must we always fight in order to fuck?"
You question still exhausted and laying there on the carpet fairly sure you had some level of carpet burn on your back. You hear a questioning hum from Mihawk, Clearly not wishing to think of that question further as he laid there relaxing.
You sit up from the floor a familiar ache between your legs, seeing the destroyed furniture, the ripped up sheets and clear dent in the wall from were Hawkeye slammed you. In short it looked two beast had destroyed this room in either battle or fucking- in this case both.
"You're paying for the damages for this room" You point out, Mihawk opening one eye from his lounging position on the floor hands behind his head and comforbly dozing.
"Hmph.... fine-"
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DIHWYF Incorrect Quotes but it's mild Carmine sisters chaos
Because ✨sisters ✨
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Clara, staring at newly adopted Vaggie: Um...want a beer?
Odette: She's like...five!
Clara: I DUNNO, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER?!
Clara: I'M BREAKING THE WINDOW!
Odette, whispering into her phone: Uh, hi- we locked our baby sister in the car and people are judging us.
Clara, now running around looking for a rock: I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA BREAK IT!
Odette, whirling around: DO NOT BREAK THE WINDOW, YOU'LL GET GLASS ON HER!
Odette: But if you keep making up words, no one will understand you.
Young Vaggie: Clara will. Watch. *tugs on Clara's arm*
Clara: Yeah, squirt?
Vaggie: *complete gibberish*
Clara, immediately playing along: Whoa, are you serious?
Vaggie: *more gibberish*
Clara: I'd never considered that before!
Vaggie: *very serious gibberish*
Clara, patting her head: This changes everything.
Odette, facepalming: You're both crazy.
*Odette, spotting Vaggie trying to sneak out of her bedroom: Oh, not again. Come on, go back to bed before Mamá sees you.
Vaggie: But I don't want to go to bed!
Odette: Too bad, manita.
Vaggie, pouting: Why do I have to go to sleep? Why can't I just stay awake all night?
Odette, sighing and getting up to walk her back bed: Because that's the way the world is.
Vaggie: Well I'm going to make it so that's not how the world is!
Odette, tucking her in: That sounds like a big job. You're gonna need a full night's sleep for that.
Vaggie: Yeah, I will! *triumphantly snuggles in*
Vaggie, ten minutes later: Hey, wait a second-
Vaggie, curled up in front of the fridge: :(
Clara, spotting her: You alright, hermana?
Vaggie, sadly: I just miss Odette**.
Clara, sitting down next to her: Aw, I know.
Vaggie: And the fridge doesn't like me :(
Clara: I...know?
*Odette: Bed. Sleep. Now.
Vaggie, trying to hide behind Clara: But I'm not tired!
Clara: Yeah, 'Dette, she's not tired!
*they're both asleep in Clara's bed in ten minutes later*
Clara, snuggling lil' Vaggie: Big sister's going to drop-kick anyone that touches you 🥰
Odette, without missing a beat: And bigger sister's going to bail big sister out of jail.
Carmilla, cuddling Vaggie after she tripped and fell: I know it's tough, mija. But hey, how many times have you bumped your head or gotten a bruise while you're playing with your sisters?
Vaggie, holding an ice pack on her knee: Um...lots.
Carmilla: Right. And what do they always tell you?
Vaggie: ...don't tell Mamá?
Carmilla, who was fully expecting a different answer: What?!
Clara, who'd walked into the room to check on her little sister: Uh...I'll maybe come back later?
Clara, holding an ice pack to her sister's head: How much do you remember?
Teenage Vaggie, who'd just gotten into her first fight: Just the ambulance ride to the hospital, I think.
Odette: That wasn't an ambulance ride, I drove you.
Vaggie: But I heard sirens?
Clara: That was your girlfriend.
Charlie, clutching the largest teddy bear the hospital sold***: I got nervous!
Charlie, fresh into their relationship: If something happened to Vaggie, I...I couldn't live with myself.
Odette, completely straight faced: You wouldn't have to. Clara and I would kill you.
Vaggie, trying to sneak off with Charlie at a party: Guys, I need your help.
Clara: Oooh, ok. I have an idea.
Odette: Is it a bad idea?
Clara: *darts off in Velvette's direction*
Odette, jumping up to chase after her: CLARA, IS IT A BAD IDEA-****
Vaggie, walking by with a teapot:
Clara: Whatcha doing?
Vaggie: It's for Zestial. I'm planning on making some bad choices tonight and I want him on my side when Mom finds out.
Clara: Oooh, smart. I'll have to remember that.
Odette, not looking up from her laptop: I never realized the forethought that went into raising our mother's blood pressure.
BONUS:
Carmilla, trying to calm Lucifer down after he came to her for advice about Charlie: Look, I've raised three fully functional, well adjusted children and-
Luci, sniffling: You have three kids I don't know about?
Carmilla: ...
BECAUSE I LOVE THEM ALL
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Here's a link to the AU!
*these exchanges definitely took place less than an hour apart.
**Odette is fine, she's just on a business trip and her sisters are sad.
***That bear is not for Vaggie. She has a different one for Vaggie. The older Carmines got her that so she would calm the fuck down
****is this a hint as to how Charlie and Vaggie meet? 🤫
397 notes · View notes
cissa-calls · 5 months
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Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 673
Wanda: “When Hela asked us to dog sit this is NOT what I had in mind!”
Agatha: “Quiet…we need to move calmly and slooowly, I think it can smell our fear
Fenris: *growling from under the kitchen table*
Y/N: “I got this!” *bounces a tennis ball down the hall* “go on, fetch!”
Wanda: “THAT was your ingenious plan?!”
Agatha: “Oh we’re fucking dying now.”
112 notes · View notes
ellaa-writes · 2 months
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The Beast Within
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author note: part 8, masterlist here. This is more of a filler chapter, ending coming soon. A lot kind of things happening for a filler lol. barely edited, also think im losing the plot of this series. Next 2 chapters are going to be longer just to tie everything together. Might redo/rewrite this at a later time.
summary: Omegas are rare, in a world full of Alphas and Betas. Being a Omega was not only dangerous but they were highly sought after. After living your life has a Beta in disguise, you meet a scary Alpha, but not any normal alpha. But a gaint Apex Alpha who won't stop at anything to make you his.
tags: Mentions of lots blood, violence and dead bodies. A/b/o dynamics. Vauge and probably incorrect medical terms. No smut and barely any fluff. Lots of Angst.
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The door to the elevator opened, revealing a mess. König's head tilting to the side as the smell of crimson infiltrated his senses.
The Beast perked up, nipping at his skin. Stepping out the elevator he was greeted with an unholy site. Broken pieces of furniture and dry wall laid strewn about, bodies and parts mixed in with the chaos, the once pristine carpets now stained with blood. Stepping over the rubble he made his way into what use to be the front door of his home, busted off the hinges and thrown to the side.
He knew you weren't here, he could smell it in the air. The home was cold and empty, remnants of what use to be, shattered and scattered around. Broken glass crunched under his feet as he walked around taking it all in.
His head snapped down the darken hallway, the heavy oak door barely attached to the frame, cracked and broken, almost like someone clawed their way in. His desk was littered with files, papers and photos. The gun he kept in the top drawer missing, it looks like it was pried off the hinges.
Digging his cellphone out, there was only one person on his mind has he dialed them up. Sitting down in the worn leather chair, laying his laptop across the mess on the desk. He brought up the security footage, watching every second before the line finally picked up. A deep rumble answered from the other end.
"I'm going to need your help, level red." König didn't know where you were but he had an idea. The man on the other line told him not to trust the women. In all hell's fury he wish he would have listened. "On 'm way." it sounded like he just woken up. "It's time sensitive, high priority. I forwarded the details. I want a list of who all will be on your team. Will meet up at 21 hundred." König ended the call abruptly.
Simon sat up from his bed, just having laid down before his Boss called. It wasn't long before he was dressed and watching the security footage over. Roze... He never trusted her, could smell the rot in her lies but the big guy trusted her and he trusted him. Holding his phone to his ear the line eventually picked up.
"Gots' a job fa' you" all he could hear was heavy breathing. "да" and the line disconnected.
You awoke to bright lights and white walls. Your head was pounding and it felt like you were going to throw up. The surface you were laying on was hard and cold, the sanitary paper crinkled under you as you shifted, sticking to your dewy skin. You could barely raise your arms to block out the intruding fluorescent light. Heavy like a stack of bricks, you could feel the medical tape holding down the IV tubes, itchy against your skin.
You didn't know where you were or how you got here. It looked like a surgeons room, the floors were white tile and the cabinets off the side, also white. You could hear voices coming from behind the double doors.
Sitting up you realized you were nude, not even the necklace you always wore, completely naked and cold. Your body sore and stiff, trying to shift off of the exam table, your legs straining to hold you up right. The IV's tugged against you has you managed to stand on two legs, wobbly. You yanked the tubes free, blood dripping down your arms.
Grabbing at the now torn sanitary paper that covered the table, you haphazardly wrapped it around yourself. Using pieces of it to dab at the blood. A shiver racked your body, you didn't know what was happening. Trying to recall the last moments, your mind was foggy but you remember standing in that office but after that everything was fuzzy. You couldn't help but think he had something to do with this. Whatever this was?
The voices abruptly stopped, the double doors to your room swinging open revealing a familiar face. But not a face you expected to see, not here.
Dr. Roze
That's when it all came rushing back to you. The walk you both had, her words about you being pregnant. The images you found in the filing cabinets, all the blood or death spread across those pages. The sound of the front door being broken of its hinges, the shouting and yelling. Glass shattering and gun fire being exchanged. You hid under the desk, König gun in your hand, the one you took from the drawer. Then you heard her voice, telling you it was safe and she was here to rescue you. And that's where it all went black.
You stared at her, eyes wide and lips parted. Clutching the thin paper to your exposed body. "Oh, you’re up?" Dr Roze said in surprise. Taking small steps towards your shaking frame. "Everything is ok, your safe here." she tried to explain and to calm you down. Eyeing your bleeding wounds and discarded IV. "Nothing to worry about dear. Why don't you sir down and we can talk." pointing at the steel chair to your left. You eyed in before slowly sitting down.
"You must have a lot of questions and I'll do my best to answer them all." she explained. She sat in a similar chair but on the opposite side of the room, giving you enough space.
"We've been working on a cure, well not really a cure but a solution to a very serious problem." Dr. Roze paused before taking a deep breath. "When I met you, I knew you could be the key. The key to helping us unlock a gene code we have been stuck on for year’s now." she waved her hands around.
"Why me?" your voice was so quiet and coarse, startling you as you spoke.
"Well when König, your former Alpha mentioned that he had himself an Omega but he was unsure...-" she cut herself off before continuing. "He was unsure about your origins, you smelt like an Omega but didn't act like one. He requested that I observe you, to figure out him your Omega origin was natural or manmade." Dr. Roze had her hands clasped in her lap. Her eyes boring into yours, she had a tight smile on her face, forced and unnatural.
You shook your head, confused. Former? Origins?  None of it was making sense.
"I know this is a lot of information that may seem helpless to you. But I want you to know that without your DNA the surviving Omega population would have come to an complete extinction. You are a true hero, really." the doctor tried to comfort you.
"Where's König?" you shifted uncomfortable in the cold steel chair. Dr. Roze's smile faltered a little but she held it tight.
"You don't have to worry about him anymore." your mind was racing with questions. "Why?" did he just hand you over? Was that all part of the plan. Was that why he was ignoring you? Does this have anything to do with the photographs you found?
"I know it's going to be a hard transition but we have plenty of surrogate Alphas here. You can even choose one if you would like." Choose a new Alpha? What the hell is going on.
"I-I don't want a new Alpha." you whispered.
"Well, we can discuss that later. Nothing has to be done now. How are you feeling?" she brushed off your question.
"I don't know." and it was true. You didn't know how to feel about anything.
"That's fine, I know you’re confused and scared. Why don't I show you to your room and you can have a shower and some fresh clothes? How does that sound?" Dr. Roze stood from the chair, her hand stretched out in front of her. Beckoning you to her, and you went, slowly.
Dr. Roze took your hand and led you out of the room, the hallways were much the same. White and sanitary. She took turn after turn before stopping in front of a locked door. Raising her key card to unlock the door and dragging you through.
She brought you to a room, your new home, she called it. Watching as you walked around the confined space. It had a bed in the corner, a bookshelf, a small table with one chair, a sink and counter, a small open closet and another door leading to your private bathroom.
You sat on the bed, still only in the thin paper sheet. "If you need anything you can push this button right here" she motioned to a red button by the door. "I'll have some proper clothes dropped off for you. Why don't you get cleaned and rest." and with that she left. The door sliding into place with a click.
You felt trapped and doomed. The events replaying over in your head. You didn't believe a word she said, still not trusting her.
Trying to believed that your Alpha wouldn't abandon you. He couldn't, he can't.
The words bouncing around you head. You've heard stories about Omegas being experimented on. Locked up like cattle, their only purpose to behave and breed.
You missed your home, the one you created with König. The smell of the sheets, König's heavy scent filling your nose. The warm feeling in your tummy every time you looked at him.
It's been at least 3 weeks since you saw him last, maybe even longer at this point. You have no idea what day of the week is or how long you've been out.
You took the doctors suggestion and say yourself under the hot water, steaming bellowing around you. Your silent tears mixing in with the water as they danced down your face.
The meeting was brisk, the task easy. He was treating it as a hostage situation. Retrieve the prize and leave unharmed. But the only difference is that it was you. König knee bounced restlessly, up and down. He never had the discipline to stay still, ever since he was a child. The ticking of someone's watch matching his heart beat. He tried to rid his mind of the horrible things, the images of you diced up like meat. Nothing left of you, the only thing he could identify being your sweet smell.
The ride to the warehouse was brief, but it stretched on for what felt like hours. A perfect line of black alarmed vehicles, surrounding the building that housed this "cure". König barked out orders before charging forward, using his whole body weight to slam into the metal door. The weak screws and hinged snapping under his weight. The Beast clawing at his throat to be released, König's eyes turned black and his blood began to boil.
It didn't take them long to find your scent, a trail of destruction behind him like petals behind a bride. He tuned out the call outs coming from his headset, the only thing one his mind was finding his precious Omega.
The Ghost and the Russian stood off to his side, eyeing the giant, their own Alphas trying to hide itself in the darkest corners of the mind. Anywhere to get away from the intense energy of The Beast.
The lights were flashing red, a lockdown initiated. Most doors sealed themselves closed but nothing could stop The Beast. Ripping the reinforced door right off its hinges without breaking a sweat. Your smell stronger now, he was close he could almost taste you.
After a few minutes under the hot pelt of the showers water, your tears long dried up but your eyes still red and sore. You pulled yourself out of the glass enclosure, finding a pair of grey scrubs one size too big resting on your bed. The bed itself was made of steel, loosely wrapped in a sheet that felt like sandpaper against your skin. The thin black like cardboard as you tried wrapping it around yourself.
You don't know how you managed to fall asleep, or how long you were asleep. But the sound of an alarm awoke you. The lights were out, the only thing illuminating your cell was the red light from the button beside the door. Unsure of what was going on and unable to sleep any longer, you pressed your ear against the cold metal of the door. Trying to listen for anything, but all you could hear is the whines and whimpers of the other Omegas locked up here with you.
It wasn't long after when you started to hear the shouting and gunfire. Whatever was happening beyond your door sounded serious and it put you on edge. Not knowing what to expect you tried moving the furniture towards the door but found everything was bolted down. So you grabbing the sheet and blanket off of the steel bed and found yourself cowering in the bathroom. Waiting out the war zone happening outside.
You would think this was your end, but the smell of burning oak engulfed you. Your Omega whining, begging you to go after it, so you did. You didn't know how you ended up outside of the safety of your room. Stumbling over bodies, slipping on their blood. The only thing on your mind was finding the source to whoever that insatiable smell belonged to.
Corner after corner you passed through what use to be a door, it's counter parts laid flattened on the ground. The smell was so close, your nose sniffing the air trying to get just a little taste.
"Стоп! (Stop!)" the voice came from behind you, making you freeze in your tracks. Turning slowly to face a man, an Alpha, in all black wearing what looks like a dog mask. His gun pointed at you, he spoke something to quiet into the mic strapped to his shoulder. His black sunken eyes watching you. His smell was strangely fresh, like ripe lemon begging to be plucked. His stance was wide like the rest of him. It didn't take long for whoever he called for to enter behind him.
It was the skull face man, Simon, you think is his name. Soon as he saw your terrified face he forcefully lowered the other man's gun until he holstered it completely. Both men stepped to the side at the sound of thundering footsteps. The Beast was in charge has he nearly crashed through what was left of the passage. The surrounding walls cracking and buckling under his force. His eyes were red, like blood sap. His aura a bright orange like he tree set ablaze. The smell of burning amber knocking you off balance, causing you to fall on your ass. He was on you, quick and hard. Shoving his nose into your neck, his hot tongue lapping at the skin.
You were trembling, gripping onto his biceps has he manhandled you. This was your König but at the same time it was not. You've never seen him like this, geared up and strapped with weapons.
He was leaving blood smears all over you, his chest heaving like a bull after a fight. His nostrils flaring.
"We ought get goin'" the skull face said from somewhere behind your Alpha. König's grip on you tightened has he curled himself around you, lifting you up and wrapping your legging around his middle as he pushed forward with the two men close behind.
"Have you located her?" he all up growled out, his voice animalistic. It made the hairs on your body stand at full attention. A low ripple of fear washed over you, you don't know what was going on, what was wrong with him.
"да, she been located." the dog faced man moved ahead, gun raised. "Good" you hated it, hated the sound of his voice, the way it vibrated his whole body and ripped from his throat.
"Ooooomegaaa" it didn't come from his mouth, no it came from within your mind. You looked up into his blown out red eyes, he was looking right into your soul. You wrapped your arms around his neck, burying yourself into his chest. Closing your eyes tight, allowing this man carry you to safety.
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Tag list: @plumdreadful @traumaramacenter @kaylp-godly @napalmfairy7 @hisa-plush @ramblingsofachaoticthinker @winters-doll @joyfulfxckery @purebeskar @collete25 @fandomsinthegalaxies @xo-konigs-little-princess-xo @jamieelol @luc1ddreamersatnight @cringeycookies
(sorry if I forgot to tag you, i haven't looked at my tag list in a while and probably needs to be updated)
145 notes · View notes
agendabymooner · 8 months
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the vibing allan and the reluctant ken ! mick s. x ofc (filipino!ofc)
summary: mick schumacher just wants a break from arthur leclerc.
OR the young monegasque has a bad habit of third wheeling. thankfully, mick learned how to be patient as he took care of sebastian vettel's kids with his girlfriend. will he be able to apply these skills as the couple and their third wheel travel to another country?
content warning: use of explicit language, platonic!third wheel!arthur leclerc x ofc, mentions of sebastian vettel x ofc (bel vettel), bf!mick x bbf!arthur banter, chaos and crack fic, arthur drives for ferrari, baby kimi vettel is of age for karting ❤️
note: i've had this in my mind since this morning. enjoy xx
masterlist
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i. this ken's job is karting coach
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ii. the vettel child treatment™ (philippine edition)
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arthur_leclerc posted a story !!!
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tagged barblanco
liked by arthur_leclerc, charles_leclerc, estebanocon
arthur_leclerc no credits for the photo?? i didn't take you as a thief
user1 this man riles up mick for no reason and i love him so much for it
mickschumacher thank you to our photographer i guess 🙄
arthur_leclerc you're welcome!!! anything for my best friend (not you)
user2 maman et papa 🙌
user3 i'm no better than a man 😩🥰
landonorris did you at least bring your sunscreen this time? liked by mickschumacher
charles_leclerc i ship ❤️‍🔥 liked by mickschumacher
user4 charles the barmacher stan. been real since day one 🤝
barblanco 🥰😽 liked by mickschumacher
mickschumacher 🤭😊
user5 someone call the simp police 🤧
user6 omg hes so back welcome him 😭
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tagged mickschumacher
liked by arthur_leclerc, pierregasly, landonorris
arthur_leclerc everybody say "thank you arthur~" 🙄🙄 liked by barblanco
barblanco thank you artieeeeee~~
user1 thank you arthurrrrr
charles_leclerc thanks artie 🙏
user2 look at our biggest stan!!!
arthur_leclerc this trip is a blast!! danke barbie!!! liked by barblanco
barblanco i never break any promises i make, art! 🤩
user3 ok but cute???
user4 i love 😍
belongvettel ughhh i love!!! ❤️ liked by barblanco
barblanco i can't wait to bring some souvenirs back bel!!! ❤️
mickschumacher best trip ever (excluding arthur) 🥰 liked by barblanco
barblanco 🤣🤣🤣
arthur_leclerc ok mICK 🙄🙄
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tagged barblanco
liked by mickschumacher, charles_leclerc, olliebearman
user1 ARTHUR NOT TAGGING MICK 😭😭😭
user2 i love my petty king 🤭
charles_leclerc i want souvenirs, arthur!! liked by arthur_leclerc
arthur_leclerc beg.
user3 ARTHUR PLS-
lorenzotl i want mine too 🤨 liked by arthur_leclerc
arthur_leclerc bet.
charles_leclerc 😲😲
user4 GUYS WHERE CAN I FIND ARTHUR IN MANILA 😭
user5 you can't 🤧 i think they're somewhere around palawan rn because they've been touring everyday
mickschumacher i see how it is 🤔 liked by arthur_leclerc
arthur_leclerc you called me a donkey 🙄
charles_leclerc was he incorrect?
arthur_leclerc shal whose side are you on? 🥲
user6 charles is being unnecessarily funny and shady 🤭😭
barblanco glad you're liking it!!! liked by arthur_leclerc
arthur_leclerc ofc!!! i don't think about the killjoy in the room most of the time and i pretend that he's a ghost so that's why!!
mickschumacher you are so not invited to the next trip, leclerc 😠
arthur_leclerc now mick-
user7 bf vs bbf in the comments??? god. take it in a parking lot guys 🤩🙄
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tagged barblanco, arthur_leclerc
liked charles_leclerc, landonorris, lance_stroll
landonorris mick just entered his reputation era 🤩
user1 IS THAT ARTHUR SLIPPING 😭
user2 naw mick is out for blood guys 🤣🤣
user3 arthur is hysterically crying at this post rn 🤣
charles_leclerc art kinda deserved that 😭
arthur_leclerc hella mean of you mick 😠
mickschumacher sorry i don't talk to people who slipped and ate shit on camera 😌
user4 NOW MICK-
barblanco you two are my walking migraines 🤕 liked by mickschumacher
mickschumacher no i'm not, liebe 😻
barblanco do i have to tell you two to kiss and make up?
arthur_leclerc i'd rather jump to hell than do that 🤢
mickschumacher arthur_leclerc i already was in hell when you came along in the trip 😒
arthur_leclerc stay mad mickie 😝
barblanco god love testosterones 🙄
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iii. ken says no more allan
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253 notes · View notes
the-carlos-cow-eyes · 7 months
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Incorrect quotes & Rp's based around the relationship between Junior Wheeler and my OC, Lydia Wheeler. Otherwise known as the ‘Chaos Cousins’ (( @barclaysangel ))
*Jake and Lydia Wheeler had lost their Dad. Just like that. And to make matters even worse? They watched It happen. But that was the thing, the twins didn't know how to feel about the whole thing. Their Dad was horrible. Nobody knew It, but they did. They didn't know whether to be sad, pissed off, or both. Now, they were going to live with their aunt, uncle, and cousin. Lydia was close with her cousin, Jake not so much. He wanted to be, but he was always being pushed away or antagonized by him, so he barely said a word to him. Once they walked In the door, their Aunt Bree hugged them and sincerely apologized for what happened to their father. Were Jake and Lydia sorry though? They didn't know. But with that apology, Bree called after her son, Junior, asking him to show his cousins to a room, with the twins looking up at him before glancing at each other with a shared look on their face*
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bookwyrm03 · 1 year
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Todd: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!
Viola: Really? Name one law
Todd: Don't kill people?
Viola: That's on me. I set the bar too low.
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