#intolerably stupid

[egoschwank]

al things considered — when i post my masterpiece #1295

first posted in facebook march 30, 2024

nicolae vermont -- "reading" (1919)

"the person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid" … jane austen

"… but for my own part, if a book is well written, i always find it too short" … jane austen

"i declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! how much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book! -- when i have a house of my own, i shall be miserable if i have not an excellent library" … jane austen

"give her a book, and she will read all day long … happy birthmonth kathryn" ... al janik

[gay-otlc]

The urge to ask my friends if I'm really annoying vs the knowledge that asking that question is in itself annoying: who will win

[realbeefman]

i thiunk chase is allergic to peanuts. my proof is that he’s blonde

[autisticlancemcclain]

“You’re a dumbass.”

Keith takes a moment to stick his tongue out at him. “Am not.”

“Are too,” Lance says, shaking his head fondly. “You do not think before you do things. I love you, babe, but you have zero risk assessment abilities.”

“I do so have risk assessment abilities! Right now I am assessing the risk, and I used my abilities to asses that it is so, totally worth it!”

“It’s worth it for you now, you goober. But in a few hours you’ll be singing a different tune.”

Keith shrugs, shoving another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. “That sounds like a future Keith problem.”

Lance rolls his eyes. “Seriously. You’re such a dumbass. Hunk makes you various other treats that no one is allowed to touch specifically because you can’t eat ice cream without Suffering the Consequences. And yet.”

“And yet,” Keith agrees, like the dumbass he is.

God, Lance loves his dorky boyfriend so much. He is going to have so much fun being smug when Keith is suffering later. This dating shit is great.

———

Lance is a light sleeper. Always has been. And when he was sleeping on his own, he dealt with it pretty easily with an eye mask and headphones and other such things. But sharing a bed every night means that it’s kind of difficult to wear a bunch of sleep gear without disrupting Keith, and besides, as much as being a light sleeper is kind of annoying, it does mean he’s up easier for any kind of light night…activities. So it kind of cancels out.

But right now, Lance is very happy about being a light sleeper, because he’s up the very second he hears his boyfriend mutter a low “oh, fuck” and try to extract himself from Lance’s arms and to the washroom without waking Lance up.

Lance smirks to himself. Ha. As if Keith is going to escape his mocking. Lance warned the fucker. It is high time that he rubs it in and says ‘I told you so’ as many times as he possibly can.

“Where’re y’going?” Lance mumbles, pretending to be more asleep than he is and tightening his arms around Keith’s waist.

Keith sees right through him easily. “You know exactly where I’m going, you dick. Let me go.”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Lance says, smirking. “You’ll have to enlighten me.”

Keith sighs. He knows damn well that he is at the disadvantage here, and like hell is he going to out-stubborn Lance when he’s the one on the time limit.

Ha. Sucker.

God, Lance loves being in love. This shit is the best.

“If I admit that you were right, will you let me and my poor stomach go suffer in peace?”

“Mm. You have the call yourself the king of all dumbasses first and admit that I am correct all of the time.”

“You’re correct some of the time.”

“I can hear your stomach trying to kill itself, babe. Don’t think you’re in the position to be negotiating.”

Look. If Keith was really desperate, Lance wouldn’t be stopping him. He’s not cruel. Plus, as much as Lance is no slacker, Keith will always be able to kick his ass at hand to hand, so if he really needed to flee that quickly, he could.

But if there’s one thing Keith is, it’s a total sucker for Lance and all of Lance’s bullshit. And Lance loves taking advantage of that, because he’s a known butthead.

“I am the king of all dumbasses and you are always right,” Keith deadpans. “Now let me go, asshole.”

Lance does, smirking as Keith scrambles to their ensuite and re-burying himself in the blankets. Keith’ll be a while.

Lance is half asleep by the time Keith finally crawls back into bed. “If you listen to me more often bad things wouldn’t keep happening to you,” he mumbles as they get comfortable again.

“You are so mean to me,” Keith grouches back. But he presses a kiss to Lance’s cheek anyway.

Ha. Sucker. He’s so lucky he has Lance.

[thaliasthunder]

as an atheist that was even physically forced to hear unsolicited religious discourses of "how wrong i am", how "im gonna burn in hell" or "god hates/is dissapointed of me" from believers after saying im atheist, magnus being atheist without being antagonized or questioned for it is something so fucking personal to me

[arctic-hands]

My milk journey has been

First meal: rice porridge with breast milk

Start dropping weight and can't stay out of the bathroom by age seven, get told to avoid dairy so mom buys Lactaid milk for a year. Whole family despises it and Mac and cheese in particular is now terrible and avoided. I'm still very sick anyway

Be diagnosed with Crohn's at age nine. Resume consuming regular dairy

Twelve-ish: begin to feel a little distress at eating ice cream. Does not stop me from accepting a Dairy Queen cheesequake blizzard reward for single handedly winning a science class quiz game that was supposed to be played in teams but no one wanted me. By sheer force of will and remarkable sphincter control for an IBD patient, mange to wait it out get home that day before having a violent reaction.

Thirteen: throw up violently at school after having cheese sticks for my free lunch. Convince myself it was just the greasiness of the meal that set me off

Fourteen: go into high school conceding the point that I'm lactose intolerant. Unsuccessful at lobbying the head principal to provide lactose free strawberry milk. Start paying more money than a lunch would have even cost if I didn't qualify for free lunch at the snack bar for juice or V8 in order to not go thirsty at lunch. Repeatedly throw up when the only option for lunch other than the very popular spicy chicken every Wednesday that I couldn't tolerate mouth-wise or gut-wise was the same cheesesticks that I had in middle school

Sometime later in high school: discover the Meijer's house brand of lactose free milk actually tastes decent.

Seventeen-ish. Find a hair in the carton of Meijer's lactose free milk and swear off it forever. Try rice milk

(Also an aside at seventeen: develop celiac disease and I thanked my lucky stars that it was polite enough to have waited until I was done with wildly ableist school and too old to trick or treat)

I forget which age but I was a fresh and new adult: discover rice milk ice cream. Desperately pretend it tastes and feels like real ice cream.

Shortly after: try coconut milk. It's tasty, but hardly a neutral milk-like taste and doesn't go well when mixed with other ingredients. Coconut milk ice cream is likewise lackluster

Nineteen? Discover the boxed and shelf stable almond milk. Begin to have hope.

Twenty: find out they started making a cartoned and refrigerated almond milk that tastes brilliant

Twenty three? Realize I have forgotten the taste of dairy milk. Almond milk reigns Supreme

Twenty-six: find out what an environmental menace the non-native aimond trees used in American almond milk is to drought-stricken California. Feel guilty but also feel like there's no real way to avoid drinking almond milk

Twenty-eight: Oat milk explodes in the plant milk scene. I ignore this because there's a high likelihood of cross contamination with wheat in both the field crop and in the processing of oats in the same facilities of wheat. No major and common oat milk brands have any gluten free signage

Twenty nine: Oatly converts its American version to gluten free oats brown in dedicated fields and processing facilities. Try it and it's decent. (CAUTION: some celiacs have a reaction to oats themselves regardless of any cross-contamination. I, however, am not one of them.) Become mostly fully converted to oat milk but still keep ordering almond milk when I get an iced coffee because Dunkin and the anarchist coffee shop/bookstore never label which brand of oat milk they use and you're a millennial and despise phone calls

Thirty: Planet Oats is a bit cheaper so I try it on a lark and like it better. Be bummed that it comes in a smaller carton that Oatly and thus is more expensive in the long run. Start putting oat milk in my oatmeal and have a religious crisis because it seems like a decadent and cardinal sin. Remember I'm an atheist and it's okay to be a lil hedonistic and perverse esp where food is concerned

Nearly thirty-one: realize halfway in making this post that it's entirely boring and pointless and is too long for such an uninteresting subject but goddammit I've sunk the cost and will finish this stupid post.

[ratcandy]

got to hold big scorpion again today everything is right in the world

[rillils]

going on a trip for the first time in forever and of course it has to be raining most of the time :'D

[goji-pilled]

i wish every person that goes "ugh picky eaters need to grow up" or "they're so ungrateful" a very die

[halogalopaghost]

I just found out that a tilt table test isn't like, getting tilted back and forth for a while, you lay there for thirty minutes and then they tilt you upright REAL QUICK, im gonna fail that test so hard lmao

[ittybittybumblebee]

Why is there so much good food in the world that i cant ever try because my stupid food intolerance like.

[silawastaken]

im so tired 'hesisitatting' yeah okay buddy time for bed

[neige-leblanche]

i think vil is a chocolate person tbh i think he eats those lil dove dark chocolates like vitamin pills

[sodrippy]

mealkits are so prevalent now youd think at least one of them would do gluten free

[marsosims]

gonna be real with y’all, kinda wish they also redid the traits for the new pack.. like make it so teen sims have 3-4 traits and adults have 5 traits just like in TS3

[minyicho]

I can’t believe that I have to buy lactase for 31 dollars at the chemist just because my body randomly decided to stop producing it when I was fifteen