#involuntary commitment

[marasamsara]

If you want to read about cold childhood, fear of involuntary commitment, and healing from deep, old wounds, you might want to check this out:

That's my brand new website, btw. There, I post stuff for which tumblr is not the right place.

[schizodiaries]

my experience at a mental hospital

Being involuntarily held in a mental hospital can be a frightening, uncomfortable experience. I want to share my experiences at a mental hospital in hopes that, if this ever happens to you, you will hopefully know what to prepare for.

(Note: Every hospital is different and will vary depending on your location, state, country, etc.)

They should give you a booklet that lists all your rights as an involuntary patient. Try to familiarize yourself with these rights.

Phones, watches, and other electronics are generally not allowed. Hoodie/sweatpants strings and shoe laces are also not permitted and will be removed.

Upon admission they may strip search you, to check for scars or smuggled items. They say it’s for safety, but it’s degrading as hell.

They will probably take your blood when you get there, in case they have to prescribe you medication.

You will see a psychiatrist while there. Be honest about your symptoms and try not to mask. The more authentic you are to them, the more they can help you.

They may ask you odd questions, like who the president is, where a certain item in your house is, what month it is, or ask you to spell words backwards. This is to check your orientation and cognitive abilities.

Most hospitals will have group therapy or activity sessions. It’s not necessary to attend these, but they are beneficial.

You might have a roommate and they might be weird. I say this as someone who was the weird roommate. You can ask staff to switch rooms if you feel unsafe.

Staff routinely checks on you roughly every 15 minutes. It can be annoying especially if you want privacy. Bonus points if they shine a flashlight in your face while trying to sleep.

They will check your vitals every morning, usually quite early in the morning. Try not to be put off by the machinery, which might seem scary during an episode.

It’s cold af. I don’t know why mental hospitals are so cold, but you can always ask the staff for extra blankets.

If you have allergies or dietary restrictions, let them know and they will offer you the proper food. I was able to ask for vegetarian options.

It is incredibly boring at a mental hospital. Keep your self entertained with whatever they have to offer, and take advantage of the limited outdoor time they provide you.

Don’t be afraid to ask the front desk for toiletries, menstrual products, grippy socks, clean underwear, etc. You can also ask for earplugs if things get noisy or disruptive.

They will do your laundry, but don’t expect to get your clothes back. My roommate lost all her clothes after they collected it for laundry. It’s better to wear their hospital gowns.

Try not to be put off by the other patients who might exhibit strange or violent behaviors. Unless they are a direct threat or danger to you, it’s best to just ignore them.

Remember that not the end of the world if you have to be hospitalized. It’s not indicative of a personal failure and it doesn’t make you a bad person. Mental hospitals aren’t perfect, but they exist to help stabilize people during a crisis. Don’t feel bad for needing help.

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"Decade in asylum without cause - Shulman," Windsor Star. March 6, 1970. Page 42. ---- TORONTO (CP) - The case of a man who claims to have been held 10 years in an Ontario mental hospital with out cause was used Wednesday in a plea for the immediate appointment of a commissioner to defend the rights of citizens against the actions of government.

Morton Shulman (NDP-Toronto-High Park) told the legislature there is reason to believe that Polish-speaking Mikolas Gilewicz was held only because of a language problem, and little evidence to show he ever suffered from mental illness.

He demanded the immediate appointment of an ombudsman, immediate transfer of funds from other departments to improve staffing conditions in mental hospitals, and an end to unnecessary government secrecy which he suggested was used to hide the facts in the Gilewicz case.

In describing the Gilewicz case, Dr. Shulman said the man came to Canada in 1951.

He worked as a laborer on the St. Lawrence Seaway, saved $14,000 as a dowry for the Polish girl he hoped to find and marry, learned no English and, because of the language problem, made no friends.

In January, 1960, he 'drank too much one night and "his nightmare began."

He passed a group of monks on a Cornwall street, jostled them and was arrested.

A doctor in the health department told Shulman he had looked up the man's chart and reported "there is some thing very odd - no doctor saw this man for 4 years according to the chart."

Dr. Shulman then saw a report by Frances T. Hart, nursing supervisor at Cornwall. The report said Gilewicz "no longer can be certified as a mental patient since it has been determined his problems arose through a language problem and poor communications."

The magistrate who tried him thought him "peculiar" and referred him for a mental examination.

"He went to the Brockville Psychiatric Hospital. And he was there for 10 years.

"And, worst of all, there is evidence that for at least four and a half years he was seen by no doctor, examined by no doctor and discussed by no doctor."

The man's condition was discovered only in 1969 when some patients were transferred from the overcrowded Brockville hospital to the St. Lawrence sanatorium in Cornwall.

Although a social worker who saw him in Brockville reported that he sat constantly in his ward with his head down talking to no one, the first doctor at Cornwall who spoke to him "opened up the floodgates and for the first time Gilewicz told his story."

The doctor "concluded the man was not mentally ill and should not remain committed."

[novacallaway]

The Injustices of Wrongful Involuntary Commitment

[brightlotusmoon]

...and I also remind myself that by trade, cops are liars and are skilled at making up stories to cover their crimes.

Extremely unpopular opinion but the concept of bodily autonomy needs to FULLY extend to extremely depressed people who are at risk of self-harm. Like, essentially arresting people for it doesn't fucking help, and violates their right to determine their own care. Get people some peer support, therapy, material assistance with daily tasks, get them help that helps. Don't make them walk on eggshells around twitchy medpros who will call the cops on them and throw them in crazy bitch jail for wanting a fucking break.

I'm sick of having to walk on my tiptoes while simultaneously disclosing my trauma to people who could send me off to be further traumatized. Either let me talk or YOU shut the fuck up and don't ASK me about it.

Especially if you aren't my psych or therapist! Sorry, GP's nurse, you don't have my trust. You are some random person I have never seen before. Let it fucking go.

[sysmedsaresexist]

Psych Critical

This post is highly related to this post, and I hope you'll read both. This was written second.

I've sent a couple asks to anti psych blogs talking about my own situation.

My goal isn't to change their minds, but to see what options they think are available to my family. Not every attempt at communication is an attack on a stance. I have real questions.

If there are other options, I'd love to hear them. I want these options to exist. I want more than what my family is going to get.

However, no one has responded to my asks. Maybe they think it's bait and I'm trying to catch them in a trick, maybe they don't know the answer, maybe they don't care (if you're one of those blogs, you've forfeited an opinion on my life).

So I'm going to post, under my own name, and ask again.

This isn't bait. This is my life, my every day normal. This is my father's life, every single day.

Psych Critical is a stance that I don't have a choice in. The psych system is only one thing that my family will turn to for help, and if we don't approach it first, it'll approach us on less kind circumstances. And that's genuinely what we're looking for.

Help.

And I think blanket generalizations like the above are about as useful as trash. I shouldn't have to hate myself and my family for needing help and seeking it out.

My father has something called NF (Neurofibromatosis). You might know this as "elephant man disease," though these are distinct disorders that are different from each other. It's the easiest way to describe it, though. He has tumors all over his body, inside and out, in his case. Visible lumps all over his body.

Unfortunately, these tumors are also on his brain. This causes him to have seizures, strokes, hallucinate, and have bouts of violence towards anyone and everyone. Specifically concerning is the voice of God telling him to punish his (now adult) children, and threatening to harm people based on the colour of their skin and religion. These hallucinations likely stem from the fact that he was raised as an orphan in the church (yes, it's exactly what you think).

There was a time when he could have gotten treatment, but we're past that. Initially, he refused. He was scared, I'm sure he didn't think it would end up like this. Now, he's unable to consent to treatment, and it's so progressed that surgery isn't an option. Chemo never was. To make matters worse, he's an alcoholic, to the point that not drinking will cause seizures and will likely result in death. Not to mention the damage to his liver that's slowly killing him. It's not functioning well these days.

There is no POA or will, and he's not able to consent to signing either. He will not go to any doctors at this point. You can't even have a conversation about this with him. Every plan he's set up on, retirement, pension, disability-- he calls them constantly to fuck around with it, cancel it, take his children's names off it, tell them he doesn't need it. They've stopped talking to him and will only discuss with my mother, despite there being no POA in place.

He is only going to get worse. He is going to die, and he doesn't understand.

My father is already dead. The man that raised me is gone, the man that cared isn't in that head anymore. It's a cruel soul using his body like a puppet until it finally gives out.

At this point... my siblings, mother, and I have had to cut him out of our lives. He's mean. He's so goddamn mean and cruel. His words cut harder than his fists, only because there's nothing left to him. He's skin and bones.

I don't know how much longer my cousin can let him stay there. Then what?

At some point, he will need to be forcibly committed and treated, if only to make him comfortable during his final... years? Months? Days? Because of the unique circumstances, there's likely not a drug that can help curb any of the symptoms. Drugs might be able to get him off the alcohol, but he's not going to like that at all, and that's not what's causing the hallucinations. His memory only gets worse by the day. Simple daily things like using the stove are becoming more of a danger, because he keeps walking away and forgetting.

I have about as much choice in this as he does, and the sooner he's committed, the better for everyone, including him. I mean, he can continue to stay out, and pass out on the streets trying to get home from the bar after getting kicked out for starting fights or getting angry when he's cut off. I don't know if or when he's going to forget the way home, and even if I try not to care... I'm scared.

I fear the day he's picked up by the police. I want him in the legal system even less than the psych system, and I think he'll fight any police that try to approach him. This is a man that, I promise you, would rather be homeless than denied alcohol.

This is not my biological father. He came into my life when I was only 1 year old. My biological father was, surprise surprise, also an alcoholic. He was in a drunk driving accident before I was born that killed other people. He was the driver.

My step dad, the only dad I've ever known, scares me sometimes.

I don't want to be the child of two murderers.

So I ask again, what do you suggest? How is this ableist? Your focus is psychotic people, but that's not the only people in these facilities. That's not the only disease that they treat. I read a couple posts from a linked resource (it's tumblr posts, let's not lie), and one of them mentioned something akin to outpatient treatment. @trans-axolotl because I'm using your post. I actually appreciate the "I don't know" of your answer.

It's a lot better than, "you're ableist for even thinking about this."

Friendos, I don't have a choice but to think about this.

This seemed silly to me, though, because psych wards already act like that. Many of the patients leave during the day to work, shop and visit family, and return at night. Rinse and repeat for them, every day. There's a surprising amount of individualized treatment, freedoms, and steps for each patient.

But not everyone can adhere to that. If my dad got out during the day, he would be drinking, and this would exacerbate the symptoms. He's a dick when he's drunk on the best of days. It's why my mother divorced him originally, before the hallucinations started.

A dry house wouldn't work, either. The places this man has hidden alcohol... he's like a squirrel, it's just everywhere, and he comes across them like,

Inside the WALLS, my guys. Hidden in the basement, the wall goes up to uncovered beams and there's a gap, and he hides them down behind those walls.

Do you know how many spiders are in there? He can fucking drink them, he wins that battle. Touché, dad.

When they tear the house down in the far future, I'm willing to bet they'll find a full liquor store down there. And again, the first time someone says, "you can't bring that in here," he'll turn around and say, "then I'm not going in there, diddles," because his fucking language part of the brain is broken and no matter how many times you explain that "diddle" is a CSA word that you can't just use randomly like that, he forgets.

When I first got married, I had him over to my apartment to spend a few nights. The amount of alcohol that got into my house... I don't even think he brought boxers, just alcohol, and it ended in a fight, and I made him leave. After that, he refused to come visit me. He's never been to my sibling's homes. It was the final straw for me, the things he said to my husband are unforgivable. I keep watch from afar now, talking to my cousin about him.

I said a few paragraphs up that the man that cared is gone. Sometimes, I look back, and I'm reminded of all the doubts growing up that he ever really cared. But I still care, and loving him is painful. The fear of what he's going to do next is even worse.

I want to finish this off with one of my... I don't want to say favorite, but this documentary was one that helped me, a fair bit, when it came out. I'd genuinely like the opinions of anti psych people on this documentary, and the true extent of violence and self harm that some patients display. Heavy trigger warning for severe self harm and violence toward others. Obviously.

For some of these patients, do you see another option for treatment? If not psych wards, what do you suggest happens to some of the patients in the video? What role did the staff actually play in some of the events portrayed?

As a general reminder, this isn't to change minds but open dialogue.

"Psych crits are ableist," is a pretty harsh statement considering the number of people in similar positions to myself. I feel like there's a huge disregard and ignorance for the violence that real people are experiencing.

Again, I'm psych critical, I don't accept the system as it is now, I think there's many improvements to be made. I think there is a need, in a very not small number of cases, for this type of system. I understand and appreciate the intersection of race, poverty and mental health that leads to anti psych sentiments, and I agree. There is a large number of people in psych wards that shouldn't be. This needs to be addressed.

But how do you reconcile both? I can't figure it out. I don't know.

[kataraavatara]

sjm is actually hilarious for having the inner circle give Nesta a choice between being imprisoned at the HoW or straight deportation during their “intervention” could you imagine for a second if social services showed up at your door like whelp. you failed your wellness check. you can either go to this inpatient facility or option number two, mexico,

[stormyoceans]

THE WAY PEEM SPEAKS SOOOO SOFTLY TO PHUM WHEN HE IS WORRIED THEY MAKE ME SICK IN THE HEAD

[lamiaoflilith]

my gal calliope in her regular fit and her nurse scrubs!!! done by @crownedinmarigolds thank you so much they’re so amazing!!!

[dumbsofsuperficialtextonlysearch]

Alien invaders socially engineering society so that discussion of or belief in advanced technology or aliens is viewed as signs of a psychiatric medical condition and a doctor can have an individual accused of having such a condition committed against their will to a psychiatric hospital and locked up there and drugged against their will without the requirement of any sort of trial or review prior.

[intertexts]

what does grizzly put in his fucking characters man -_-

[pghlesbian]

Update on My Legal Situation

I'm still waiting for the wheels of justice to turn. I did learn yesterday that I may need to hire yet another lawyer (three!) to handle a specific piece of my situation. That's vague, but so it goes with most things legal. I can't give you details without permission. It may be quite a doozy. One solidly good thing is that over 150 people have donated to this crowdfund. You believe in me, you are showing up for me. That's tangible evidence I can cling to when I'm overwhelmed and frustrated. I appreciate that so much. I don't have much family at all so feeling supported is not my baseline. And I must admit that I think a lot about all of the peope who don't have this support or investment in a basic family law attorney. What happens to them?

[ereh-emanresu-tresni]

.

[possumteeths]

My iud was all fucked up way outta place hurting me so i had to remove and replace and motherfucker what i have never been in so much pain its so much worse than the first time like good fucking god how are u not idk HELLA MEdICATEd I took 1200 mg ibuprofen, a fucking vidocin and tylenol and tbe pain is genuinely indescribable and also im bleeding and also i got way too good of a look at the needle they shoved up my pussy

[eggthew]

scared and tired. phone call about inpatient stuff tomorrow. dont know what to expect and I really hope I dont have to go to deep into mental health history bc i cant do that over the phone. the date for it all is coming up really quickly

[stormyoceans]

FOR FREE???????????????????