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kafus · 7 months

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i did some ridiculous technical BS in pokemon again

NOTE: not only is this post a very very long infodump from yours truly, it is also specifically an infodump involving a lot of pokemon glitches and exploits. even though i don't tamper with my games and everything achieved here can be done on original hardware with no hacking or what-have-you, some people still may consider this Cheating based on their own personal standards of legitimate gameplay. i ask that you please don't try to start arguments with me about pokemon legality and just take it all as an interesting technical infodump about gen 3 pokemon okay thank you <3

SO. i decided that before pokemon bank eventually shuts down one day in the probably-not-so-distant future and makes old gen transfer impossible, i need more ribbon master pokemon (AKA a pokemon with all the ribbons it can possibly receive from its gen of origin to the most recent gen it can transfer to) from gens 3 and 4. i've been meaning to ribbon master a pokemon from gen 3 based on my favorite singer, KAF (you don't need to know anything about kaf for this story whatsoever but you should check her out LMAO) and while musing over what pokemon would suit her best, it came to me.

FARIGIRAF IS JUST KAF'S FURSONA!! the monster teeth hoodie with the eyes. even has the dangly bits. like come on it's perfect. AND girafarig is obviously available in gen 3 so i could RM a kaf girafarig and then evolve her once i got to SV. Cool! Awesome! but here's the problem. I CAN'T SETTLE FOR JUST A NORMAL GIRAFARIG. I HAVE TO GO ALL OUT!!

i started brainstorming my ideal gen 3 kaf girafarig, and came to the following conclusions:

i obviously want the girafarig to be shiny. i mean come on

i want her to be a girl for obvious reasons, and gentle nature to match her personality. just because Armor Tail is better on Farigiraf i also want it to have girafarig's second ability, Early Bird. i'm not concerned with IVs because i think random IVs add flavor and that would add more tedium than i was already dealing with

i want her to be japanese language origin since kaf is a japanese singer (i can nickname her かふ that way too!)

i want the original trainer (OT) name to be PPさん (PP-san) in reference to the person who scouted out kaf's talent in the first place - he goes by Piedpiper online and my friends and i call him PP as a joke sometimes

i want the trainer ID to be 02018 because 2018 is kaf's debut year

since girafarig only spawns in gen 3 in the ruby/sapphire/emerald safari zone, i wanted to hatch a girafarig egg in firered/leafgreen for the kanto origin, which is impossible otherwise. FRLG are also really important games to me, leafgreen being the first pokemon game i ever owned or played, so that's a bonus

now you may be looking at this entire list and being like. What the fuck. how do you intend to shiny hunt girafarig with all of these hyperspecific parameters, especially in FRLG where the everstone passing nature doesn't exist and flame body doesn't even exist to hatch eggs faster. you will be doing that long after bank shuts down. and you're intending on doing this on original hardware too??? WELL. that's where ACE and RNG manipulation comes in babey. i am GOING to attempt to make this comprehensible even if you've never touched ACE or RNG manip in your life, even tangentially, but sorry if this is a bit of a mess it's pretty technical LOL. the rest of this post is going below a cut cause it Goes Places!!

ACE and RNG manipulation explained (kinda)

first off a quick overview of ACE, ACE stands for arbitrary code execution, which is the ability to run your own (arbitrary!) code within the game. this can be set up with a series of elaborate glitches, that break open the gen 3 pokemon games into letting you run your PC box names as code, enabling you to do pretty much anything you want. to be upfront, i'm not an expert on ACE - i understand it in an overarching conceptual sense and am able to follow ACE guides just fine, but i cannot write my own ACE code, which essentially requires you to know some GBA assembly. doesn't really matter for the purpose of this story though.

you can see an example of a tiny snippet of a larger ACE code with the PC box name below. it looks like gibberish but that's because every character used in the name corresponds to a specific internal value, which when all run together, is code!

i need ACE in FRLG because resetting for, or RNG manipulating (more on that in a moment), trainer ID (and secret ID, also more on that later) is pretty much impossible. ACE will allow me to change my TID to 02018 by essentially just telling the game to do so with my PC boxes. this requires me to set up ACE in emerald first since that's the only game with a viable entrypoint, and then use emerald ACE to make glitch pokemon that can activate ACE in FRLG when traded over.

as for RNG manipulation, that's a bit more straightforward, especially if you've ever watched a speedrun of... pretty much anything with random chance in it. games with random chance are not actually fully random because computers can't really be fully random, and in the older pokemon games with unencrypted and less advanced RNG (random number generator) algorithms, this is pretty easy to exploit.

this is a heavy simplification, but whenever you encounter a wild pokemon in RSE or FRLG, the amount of frames that have passed since the game was turned on are compared to a number that was generated upon boot, called the RNG seed. if you've ever played minecraft you can compare this to world seeds - the pokemon RNG seed determines all possible wild encounters in that play session in a similar fashion as minecraft determining the infinite terrain layout. this comparison determines every aspect of an encountered pokemon; its species, nature, IVs, and so on. so, if you were able to time your wild encounter (or any other type of pokemon encounter) down to the 1/60th of a second frame, you can get the game to spit out whatever pokemon you want at you! you just need a bit of typically invisible information first - the RNG seed, and if you're RNGing a shiny, your secret ID aka SID, which is like an invisible second trainer ID generated alongside your TID that is paired up with the TID and compared against any pokemon you encounter to determine if it should be shiny or not. both of these things can be figured out without hacking or tampering with games/save files.

the most common program used for all things RNG manipulation is called pokefinder and you can see an example of it spitting out what shinies are available on hoenn's first route in the first 100000 frames of the game being on with an RNG seed of 0 and my old TID/SID combo below. it's pretty damn cool to me tbh, i love RNG manipulation and i'm way more versed on it/experienced than i am with ACE

TLDR; rng manipulation is essentially a frame perfect, speedrunning-adjacent trick to get the game to roll the RNG in your favor, including for perfect IVs or shininess. for reasons that will become clear later, this is much easier to do in emerald than any other gen 3 game, so i will be using emerald for the RNG manipulation of the girafarig egg

with ALL of that context out of the way, this was the gameplan:

play through a fresh file of japanese firered (i don't own japanese leafgreen, RIP) all the way through the postgame to unlock trading with hoenn with the name PPさん, not worrying about TID for now. the guide i was following did not have a code for changing name with ACE in japanese FRLG specifically, so i figured playing the game again real quick would be a better alternative to trying to teach myself assembly in an afternoon LOL

set up ACE in my new emerald file i completed recently

use ACE in emerald to generate the glitch pokemon needed to run ACE in FRLG and trade them over. finalize the setup process over in FRLG too

look up possible gentle, ability 2, female, and shiny egg frames, and pick one that looks good to RNG manipulate in emerald, noting its PID (an encounter-specific ID number, pretty much)

figure out what SID, when combined with a TID of 02018, will cause that egg frame to be shiny - that way when the egg is traded over and hatched in firered, it will be shiny

do the RNG in emerald, trade over the to-be-shiny egg to firered, and hatch it after changing the TID/SID with ACE appropriately!! bam female, gentle, early bird, shiny, JP origin girafarig with an OT of PPさん and a visible TID of 02018. Pog!!

to execute that gameplan would take me an entire day, though...

step 1: play through firered

ok gonna be honest this is the ONE part of this entire process that i did not play on original hardware. i wanted to get to the Cool Parts of this process so i decided to play through firered on emulator. absolutely terrible picture sorry but i do actually own japanese firered, so i could dump the game legally to my computer to use speedup in mGBA with a little device called the Joey JR which connects the cart to my computer by USB like so

after that it was pretty much a relatively normal playthrough but obviously with emulator speedup. i used solely my starter blastoise to, well, blast through the rest of the game LMAO. after just a couple of hours or so i was right before the elite four, which i completed while in the car after moving the save file back to my cartridge with the same device, since i had to leave the house to go to a doctor appointment. i tried to take pictures of me beating the game but the sun was not doing the photos any favors lol. blastoise ended up being level 76 by the end. was easy with surf and an ice beam TM from the game corner (i just bought the coins)

unfortunately beating the game isn't the only requirement for trading with the hoenn games, so i also had to complete the whole sevii islands postgame quest... which required me to have 60 registered owned entries in the pokedex, which i wasn't really doing while speeding through the game initially, so i had a lot of mons to catch. i was still out of the house at this point (and playing at normal speed lol) so i wasn't really taking pictures, but i did make a stop at the power plant to look for an electabuzz despite it being an inefficient 5% since i needed a spare anyways for my leafgreen file unrelated to this story lmao. took a pic of it since it took a while to show up. anyway soon enough the dex had 60+ entries! i've played FRLG so many times that the encounter locations are memorized in my mind... i did all of this with no googling asdfkasfd

at this point i got home and was able to do the ruby/sapphire postgame quest on emulator with speedup again, so it was pretty easy. moved the save back to cart and i was done with step 1! obviously this didn't actually take me 21 hours of playtime, that was the emulator speedup's fault loool. from here on out i didn't touch any emulators again!

step 2: set up ACE in emerald

ACE time! i've actually set up ACE in an old emerald file before but i wanted to do it again fresh. i was following a guide pretty much to a T so i'm actually going to skip over the details of some of the steps since you can read about those more in depth over at the guide i was using if you want

TLDR; you have to trade for the NPC trade pokemon, DOTS the seedot and PLUSES the plusle, then EV train DOTS a specific way. these EV values cause DOTS to turn into a glitch pokemon egg 0x0611 when corrupted with the pomeg glitch (more on that in a bit), which, when hatched, runs the PC box names as code, aka ACE! why does it work? if you really want to know, there's plenty of stuff online about it, i'm not the best person to ask haha

it's worth noting that volbeat is really annoying to capture in emerald as it's literally only available as a 1% in one patch of grass, so i caught an illumise instead and bred them until a volbeat hatched lol. was much more efficient

also lol "Take good care of DOTS!" sorry i will be corrupting your son into demonspawn that lets me wield godlike control over your universe

after getting the necessary NPC trade pokemon all ready and moving them into a specific pattern in box 2 (i cloned them with the emerald tower cloning glitch) i had to perform the pomeg glitch. this involves using a pomeg berry to decrease a pokemon's health to 0 without causing a whiteout. this is achieved by getting a pokemon with at least 8 HP EVs to 1 HP and then using the pomeg berry on it, decreasing the EVs and taking off a point of health in the process (it's slightly more steps than this but whatever). i decided to use the camerupt i had during my playthrough of the game for this purpose. just took him to fiery path to get poisoned and walked until he was on 1 HP and healed him with an antidote lol

by doing the pomeg glitch and entering a wild battle, the game gets a bit confused since all the pokemon in your party are fainted and just sends out some sort of glitch decamark pokemon. in this situation, after viewing my camerupt's summary in battle and exiting back out of the summary screen, i was able to corrupt the DOTS and PLUSES sitting in my PC by scrolling up above the usual limit of the party menu, which reaches into data used by the first two PC boxes and fucks them up, ending up with, assuming that i EV trained correctly, a glitched egg that is about to hatch in a nest ball named DOTS with pokerus. this will run ACE when hatched! (if you want more info on this corruption pomeg stuff, check out the bulbapedia article for glitzer popping. yes that's what they named it)

step 3: use emerald ACE to set up firered ACE

so once again you can find a lot more detail on this process over at the guide i was using, but the TLDR of the matter was, i needed to put a bunch of codes into my PC box names to generate a few different glitch mons. specifically, i needed a egg that would hatch into a crobat (yes, fully evolved lol) with a singular glitched out move, that when used in battle in firered, would cause ACE to happen similar to how hatching the corrupted DOTS egg causes ACE to happen in emerald. i also needed a specific buggy shiny umbreon and a very strange glitchy egg.

even though this step was mostly a lot of tedious typing on the gen 3 keyboard (+ i had to redo things once because i made a typo at one point in the process LOL) it was so much fun! the game breaks in so many ways that you would just... never see during normal gameplay and it makes for some really good pictures and whatnot

first of all, when you hatch the 0x0611 egg, it hatches into a decamark of varying colors, in the case of the picture below it's almost imperceptible because the whole sprite is just a black circle, blending in with the background (sorry for the quality on this one, it's a screencap of a video clip i took).

additionally, trying to scroll over the hatched decamark in the PC or viewing its summary screen will crash the game, so to get rid of it, it has to be moved to the front of your party in the party menu, and then you go to the PC to release it through the deposit menu. since the cursor just defaults to the first position of the party and you don't have to scroll over to it, it's possible to release it from here.

oh yes and the umbreon/other glitch egg? similarly screwy - actually after generating them, their sprites are glitched out until you reset the game, so they look like this. behold their nonsense summaries:

after i had all i needed to trade to FRLG, i cloned an extra set of them with the emerald tower glitch again just in case i messed something up and got to trading! here's me receiving them on the firered side:

and last but not least, i'm a little obsessed with the way the glitch move looks in FRLG on the hatched crobat, absolute nonsense:

i finalized setting up the FRLG ACE (check out the guide i linked earlier for more info) and put everything into their proper positions, but before i could actually execute any code... i needed to know what SID i was going for!

step 4 + 5: look up potential egg frames in emerald and find an SID

soo now for looking at potential girafarig eggs. instead of using the program pokefinder which i mentioned earlier, i used a program called pokenav egg rng tool, which is exactly what it sounds like, a tool specialized for rng manipulating eggs with the pokenav in emerald. using it, i was quickly able to generate a whole list of gentle, female, ability 2 (early bird) eggs, and i picked one that was around 1300 frames in since that made for quick resetting attempts, but not so quick that i could barely make my inputs in time. the one i picked was frame 1381. with a TID of 02018, the PID D2C5EF55 would be shiny with an SID of 14962, so i noted that for later in firered. (i figured this out using an old program called RNG Reporter which is what i'm familiar with but i don't recommend using lmao. it's the "Pandora's Box" feature of that software though if you happen to look it up)

i won't make an entire guide on how to do emerald egg RNG here because it's a lot of steps, but i might at some point because the most up to date method isn't super well documented. anyways, here's a very paraphrased version of the process (this is also assuming that you aren't dealing with "redraws", which i wasn't... like i said very paraphrased):

get a pokemon with the ability lightningrod in the front of your party (i used electrike) to make pokenav calls happen more frequently, and a pokemon with flame body or magma armor (i used slugma) to make eggs hatch faster

get a male and a female of the pokemon you want to hatch, in my case girafarig. if you were RNGing IVs, the parent's IVs would be relevant, but i am not RNGing IVs so i didn't care and just caught the first girafarig i could in the safari zone

an egg is attempted to be generated every 255 steps after the parents are deposited in the daycare together, so by timing the usage of a max repel in such a way, it's easy to save the game exactly 10 steps before an egg is generated. do this

using a timer such as eontimer, soft reset and try to take that last 10th step on your target frame. this will also trigger a pokenav call (or lack thereof) and by looking for the phone call you got in the call column of the egg rng tool and whether or not an egg generated at the daycare, you can tell what frame you hit. didn't hit your target? just soft reset and try again, calibrating the timer for your own human error. this can take a while since the timing is precise to 1/60th of a second

once you hit your target frame, woohoo you did it just take the egg and hatch it! if you're RNGing IVs you would actually save before taking the egg and then RNG the IVs separately but that's a whole different thing i'm not explaining here since i wasn't RNGing IVs

i've avoided mentioning it this entire time till now, but emerald is particularly easy to do rng manipulation in because due to a programming error, the rng seed is always 0 - all encounters are predictable and you don't have to dedicate a frame perfect input to getting the right seed, making emerald rng a matter of one frame perfect input instead of two (there ARE ways to get emerald to generate a proper rng seed but that's unrelated here). additionally, its pokenav system means you can see if you got the right egg BEFORE taking it and hatching it... doing egg RNG in any other gen 3 game is basically a death sentence due to multiple untelegraphed frame perfect inputs that have to be executed in a row, plus really long wait times due to hatching eggs on a slower bike without flame body. there's a reason i was not doing this on four island in frlg.

but yeah now i knew what egg frame i was going for and was all prepared to do the RNG, so now it was onto actually executing it all:

step 6: getting kaf girafarig babey!!

before doing the RNG manipulation in emerald, i needed to change my SID and TID in firered finally! this required me to run two different codes, one for SID and one for TID. it was actually pretty painless since the code is nearly identical for both, you just swap out the values of each ID and one character changes in one box name to decide whether you're changing TID or SID. you can find the list of codes i was referencing here.

i was saving my one allotted video clip in this post for changing the TID with the glitched crobat move though because LMAO

^ shoutout to my qpp @/spikyearr for this one i fucking chokedSKFDDSFK

anyway, after doing that i went through the process of the egg rng in emerald (unfortunately no pictures because it's kind of hard to take pics mid-rng) and actually saved before taking the egg so that i'd be able to soft reset after hatching it - i just needed to check to make sure it was gentle and everything, and then i could soft reset, take the egg again, bike around to decrease the egg cycles in emerald since hatching in firered is super slow, and then trade it off before hatching it to go be hatched in firered. i knew it wouldn't be shiny in emerald, so i wasn't concerned with that. it only took 40 or so minutes of attempts before i got her!

and then AT LAST after spending my ENTIRE DAY ON THIS SHIT (like 10x the amount of time on the ACE stuff for the TID instead of the actual RNG itself LOOOL) i just had to trade the egg to firered and hatch it and i was golden!!!!! AAAGH here she is next to my kaf plushies!!!

also a picture of her summary screen after being traded to my english leafgreen!! i am assuming this will be easier to read for most of the people reading this post LOL

THAT'S IT. POST OVER THIS WAS SO LONG. IF YOU MADE IT THROUGH MY RAMBLING GOOD JOB. I HIT THE PHOTO LIMIT HELP ME

anyways yeah i'm gonna be ribbon mastering her and idk i might post about the process as i go. not immediately though i have a platinum playthrough to finish teehee. also if any of this was interesting to you i highly recommend trying out RNG manipulation, it's a really fun way to play pokemon games! gen 5, BW specifically and not their sequels, is REALLY beginner friendly for RNG manipulation as the timing is a lot less precise. check it out, there's plenty of guides online!!

#pokemon #pokemon rse #rse #pokemon frlg #frlg #rng manipulation #arbitrary code execution #girafarig #ribbon mastering #kiki was here #kiki.txt #long post #kiki plays games

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oceanwithouthermoon · 5 months

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Talking about Saiki and SA here a bit, btw, just a warning~

Thinking about how you said Saiki was a victim of SA and you’re literally so right. I feel like people sometimes just blow right past the fact that Kusuke is like that with his brother, but I think it can add a lot to interpretations of his character. But even if it only goes as far as what is shown in canon — which I almost doubt — it still remains the fact that Kusuke is doing all of that knowing fully well that his brother can hear him. It’s literally sexual harassment.

People point it out more often with Teruhashi and her brother (back to the reasons you said, people think it’s more serious if it happens to women). But the things he does, that’s all sexual harassment. And yet when Kusuke does similar things, it’s often brushed aside. Just,,, a bit crazy to me.

(And that’s not even mentioning when people completely disregard this part of Teruhashi’s story and act like she’s one-dimensional,,, but that’s another story)

But all this to say you’re literally so right. Anyways love you mwah =^•w•^=

THANK YOU SO MUCH. I NEEDD PEOPLE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS MORE.

(heed the sa warning + abuse and incest warning before opening, i talk a LOT here.. im mostly just reiterating what happens directly in the manga though.. ALSO EXTREMELY LONG POST WARNING..)

I always viewed kokomi and makoto + kusuo and kusuke as like.. paralleling each other ? not sure if thats the right word, but IMMEDIATELY when i saw both of these dynamics i made the connection.. i guess since it was so clear to me, i assumed that it was so obvious and on purpose that everyone else knew too, but so many people just.. ignore it..

i think most people that read/watch saiki k have recognized the fact that most main characters are meant to parallel or relate to saiki in at least some way, (if anyone who doesnt know what im talking about is reading this, im sure at least someone on here has done a better breakdown on that, i just.. dont know where to find that..) but this particular connection is one i dont see often and i genuinely believe that its almost entirely because of the whole "sexual assault/harassment isnt as serious when it happens to men as when it happens to women" thing.. most of the fandom acknowledge that what makoto does is awful and kokomi is a victim, so why is it different when its kusuke and kusuo ??

its EXACTLY the same.. what we see on screen with the saikis is WORSE, actually.. and what WE see from these two relationships isnt the full extent of what the two victims experience off screen, and i strongly believe that its heavily implied that both kokomi and kusuo have been through much worse with their brothers than whats shown..

we have no idea what kusuke couldve done BEFORE moving away and creating the telepathy canceler (and dont say that he couldnt have done anything cuz they were kids, cocsa [child on child sa] is still a thing and still valid, ESPECIALLY since they were both kid geniuses and kusuke definitely KNEW better.. but yea, kusuo implies that hes been like that for a long time, way before we ever saw them, sooo..) and its highly likely that whatever happened that we didnt see, before or after the move, was WORSE than what he does ON screen (i honestly dont want to think about what a guy with an incestual obsession with his brother does with cameras everywhere in his brothers home..) and what we see him do is already insane..

literally using his brother to get off, manipulating him and forcing him to play the games that give him sexual pleasure.. actually, speaking of, ive seen some people say that what kusuke does isnt really incest because the only reason he uses kusuo is because hes a masochist and kusuo is the only person that can overpower him.. this is a total misfire LOL, his upbringing alongside kusuo and his relationship with him is the REASON that hes a masochist, the ENTIRE REASON why thats what he gets off to.. its not just CONVENIENT that kusuo is there to get him off, he SPECIFICALLY seeks kusuo out and forces him to do things that give him sexual pleasure.. he believes that kusuo is the only person in the world that can ever give him sexual pleasure, what about that doesnt sound incestuous?

and one of the worst parts of it is, kusuo BARELY acknowledges how weird it is.. in fact, he's COMPLACENT in a lot of the games, obedient even, being bribed into them the same way he does with simple things like bringing kuniharu to work.. this is the biggest reason why i believe the off-screen stuff is probably worse, because kusuo is obviously conditioned to think that letting your brother get off to you is just.. fine.. we hardly see him try to get away from this situation beyond simply calling him gross.. theres one moment during the cat tank situation where kusuke tries to get him to grab the limiter off of his crotch specifically so that he can see him in that position and kusuo looks terrified and cant do it, BUT its unclear whether the expression of fear was entirely his concentration because he didnt wanna break the limiter or because he didnt want to let his brother get off to that, and i think its mostly the former ? idk, i dont remember this part that well but im preeeetty sure..

he does acknowledge that MAKOTOS behavior is bad when he sees it, but he never thinks its a big enough deal that he needs to help her or anything, (except for maybe the okinawa situation) which i know is probably just for the sake of not letting the gag manga get too serious, BUT it can also be explained pretty easily by this whole thing.. the way kokomi is treated is literally the same way kusuo lives his life, even down to their incestuous brother being possessive to the point of berating their potential love interests.. (which in this case happened to be each other, kusuo and kokomi..)

so yeah, kusuo just. doesnt really know how bad it actually is ? or maybe he does, but doesnt acknowledge it because he doesnt WANT to.. him barely acknowledging it and being complacent is part of why some people dont really get that its sa and incest, but his complacency obviously plays a big part in how its effected him too, like thats purposeful.. like i said, hes been CONDITIONED not to acknowledge it..

to me, it looks like a classic situation in which kusuo doesn't acknowledge his trauma because he knows that if he did, it would change his outlook on his life, his family, and his childhood FOREVER. he would never be willing to tell anyone or ask for help on his own accord, and accepting that there was anything wrong in the first place means, to him, dealing with that issue by himself for the rest of his life.

why would he ever admit that anything was wrong if nothing would change either way? the only thing that WOULD change is HIM, and why would he want that? isnt it better to be blissfully unaware than to knowingly suffer in silence?

plus, he genuinely does love his brother and knows in the back of his mind that kusukes feelings toward him comes from their unhealthy upbringing and relationship and its more complex than just "hes an evil guy blah blah.." because he isnt really evil and kusuo KNOWS that.. actually, he might be the only person in the world who COULD understand..

so yeahhhh.. kokomi and kusuo are both CANONICALLY victims of sexual harassment.. (and incestual abuse at that..) and, by my interpretation, implied victims of sa as well !! (im not really sure where the line can be when it comes to this sometimes, like when your brother sniffs your bedsheets and rubs himself on them or gets off to you right in front of your face or tries to get you to grab something positioned over his crotch so he can see you in.. THAT position.. but i already said that its pretty likely that both brothers have gone farther than that off-screen..)

anywayyyy.. this is so important to me and i wish people would talk and write about it more instead of pretending it never happened and mischaracterizing every one of these characters, especially for the sake of a ship like i was talking about in my other post.. it sucks that people so often just cast kusuos canon issues aside..

#i really wish this was talked about more..#i referenced a really old draft to write this that i never posted because i couldnt figure out the phrasing #so thank you for giving me the opportunity to finally talk about this in detail lol #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo #saiki kusuke #teruhashi kokomi #teruhashi makoto #sa tw #incest tw #abuse tw #meows post #meownalysis

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melit0n · 5 months

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I read ur tags about the new ST masks and honestly, I agree, it's very different (very Slipknot and gore-ish) and right now, the discography and overall vibe doesn't match(like a handful of songs have a true metal quality to it) and unless they're gonna start releasing new stuff the vibes kind of...clash? And so far Vessel is the same, so I'm wondering if the others just wanted to stand out more and were given creative freedom or if everything is going to shift at some point :/ I also think its a bit been there done that (but the simpler black and gold mask I like) the others remind me of the Joker or a Shrunken Head

Thank you for the ask anon! To be honest, I saw 'I read it tags about the new ST mask...' and I panicked thinking I was about to get left-right-goodnighted in an ask, but I'm glad it wasn't so, lol.

Further, I'm glad someone agrees with me. I said what I said in my tags on twt and within the hour I had 20+ people in my replies quote tweeting me saying how I 'wasn't a proper fan for not liking the change', how I 'should leave and stop listening if I was going to be negative', and (my personal favourite because it was so absurd) 'you're so one of the people that found them through TikTok. Good to have a cleanse of the fandom if you were only here because you have a mask kink'.

Even had someone tell me to off myself! Which was, y'know, lovely. I don't have any screenshots because I was just sat there trying to figure out how to reply to them, then saw the one that told me to off myself and just had a little overwhelmed cry and deleted the tweet, in which I then got tagged in a now deleted tweet calling me a pussy. You are so loved my ass.

I deleted it because it made me feel really shit about myself (for obvious reasons), but it made me feel more shit when I woke up the next day seeing people say the same things I did (like hoping it was only a Wembly thing, but considering the amount of detail and effort that's been put into those outfits and masks, I think not), and getting nothing but acceptance and neutrality in the replies. I'm not particularly popular on twt since people are fond of copy and pasting my post about Euclid, not giving credits, blocking me when I ask them to, and when their mutuals see that I'm blocked by them they just have at me for no reason, but I think it says a lot about a fandom if they can go from getting everyone to hold up a three for iii at the concerts out of pure adoration to telling someone to off themselves because they don't like the new designs. (sorry for the rant about twt anon)

I'll repeat what I said in my tags; they feel very out of place to me. Again, maybe it's just the fact I'm used to the balaclavas since I've been around here for a while, so all I've really known is Vessel's custom mask and the collective of balaclavas, but they just don't match. They stick out more than Vessel does, both design and colour pallet wise. Vessel is in full black with white accents and a white, red and gold mask, the Esperas are in full black with white accents and a red mask. And then the guys are there, y'know? Don't get me wrong, the amount of detail and effort that's been put into the designs are amazing, and they definitely have to have given each member creative freedom because each mask and design matches the lad's vibe immaculately (especially iii's), but it doesn't match Sleep Token's vibe as a collective. I like IV's design best because his matches his stage presence and ST's vibe (as you said, the simpler gold and black mask), as well as ii's (minus the hair).

I think maybe the hair on ii's and iii's masks in general are throwing me off lol.

Furthermore, Sleep Token's only full on trad metal songs are Gods from Sundowning and Vore from TMBTE, so I got really surprised when I was basically looking at Slipknot masks curated for Sleep Token. ST are known to genre bend constantly, so maybe we will get new stuff. But, considering they've had the same vibe in their music since 2016, I'd be a bit surprised if their new single/new album was just all trad metal, or at least has a lot of aspects of it, but who knows! Maybe change for them is inevitable.

I think it's well known on this blog that the passing of time and change in literally anything is my mortal enemy so seeing this kind of randomly happen gave me whiplash. I don't think I can love the new designs as much as I loved the old balaclavas, but that doesn't mean I don't like Sleep Token anymore, y'know? All I can really do is apologise for having a non super positive opinion and hope people don't hound me on here for it (which, so far, they haven't, and I appreciate you very much for being really chill about this anon). Give me a week and I'll probably be on the boat of liking them and making analysis posts on all the little details, lol

#thank you to anybody who reads my rant #I'm hoping Tumblr treats me a bit better than Twitter but we'll see #if this post randomly disappears just know it's probably because I got met with mass negativity (again)#I'm fine with people having opinions (obviously) and therefore not liking mine but having at me because of it doesn't sit right with me #thank you for the ask anon!#appreciate it #anon asks #mel's asks #mel's rambles #sleep token #st #iv sleep token #iii sleep token #ii sleep token

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lostxmelody · 6 months

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Not really a question but i’d just like to express that i’m a huge can of your fic, i’ve read it since chapter 1 and have been sucked in ever since. majority of the 0309 content made by fans often have them terribly mischaracterize making lots of people end up hating the ship instead cause all they think the fans are capable of doing are creating terrible stuff of them and just set a bad impression on the ship even when is just supposed to be a silly pairing cause milgram doesnt run on romance!! T__T including me i used to like (not like it too much) to say the least though i tried to be more open to it cause i was starving on fan content and just went on ahead on ao3 and said “fuck it i’m reading a fic of them” to which i did .. some of the fics are questionable though when i found yours i just knew it would be good from the start. The way you characterized Fuuta and his experience with his crime was just ODBAJhsjsjd /pos. The way you potrayed Mikoto’s social life, ideals and personality is so so close to his canon one if not that its quite exactly the same!! (to how i imagined it atleast) its refreshing to see people characterize him as someone that isnt a ‘big top hottie thats overly flirty and is an asshole and doesnt care about anyone’s feelings’ and the way you really showed and expanded the dynamic they’d have together (in an au) atleast was just well done, you elaborated it well in the fic. most of the people i’ve seen just makes them grumpy x sunshine, etc etc tropes not that its bad but i think they’d have more to if than just that especially with their crimes and ideals involved and how they view life. if you’d open a twitter account i’d totally support you like hell, big time i’d love to hear more about your thoughts on 0309, Mikoto / Milgram in general and maybe give your fic more attention it deserves one way or another <33 chapters are already 8/10 done! i cant believe its nearly done aswell. i’m not huge into shipping but i love the way you write the characters (even the side! Yuno + Mahiru + Shidou’s characterization is so good) pleaase give yourself more credit as a good writer in the milgram fandom!! i know you’re a busy person anyway (you seem like one) though i just wanna say thank you for taking the time to write life’s reflection and the other oneshot you wrote. Take care of yourself :D<333

thank you so much!! i havent delved much into other milgram fanfics, in this case talking specifically about 0309 because i know from past experiences in different fandoms that whenever i did that i'd become so worried about my own characterization that i just ended up dropping the entire idea and never writing it again.

writing a slash pairing the milgram fandom is a bit... i guess probably frowned upon, depending on who you ask. it's not meant to be a shipping scene but where theres a will theres a way lol. ive become really fascinated by their made-up dynamic. mikoto and fuuta have barely any canon interactions and whenever they did-- it was obvious that they don't even like the other. why ship that? well i can't provide an answer for everyone, but for me it's just because i like reading about two broken people healing and why not add a tinge of almost-enemies to lovers in there? lol

its funny you mention a twitter because i did make one about a month ago but immediately abandoned it because i didn't plan on using it... i guess i could though! i just end up overthinking everything i post but it would be nice to engage a little more with like-minded (read: 0309 truthers /hj) people

you can find that here! (barebones rn... but feel free to interact or whatever and i'll make it look better eventually)

thanks again for such a sweet comment!

#milgram #milgram fanfiction #and i am busy but...#(aside from work)#the truth is i just end up watching video essays all the time #i try to watch them as i write but i get too distracted wwww

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mlynar-nearl · 1 year

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the amount of pulls you just said was insane sorry, did you just say 290 for ling/lee? and 170 for gavalter/pozy? absolutely insane that is some. wow. (can i say anything i hand mhy my wallet like it is free)

ok but yeah i can see like.... why. i mean. i love old man nearl i want him, i want him now so i can finally get started on my nearl family agenda and have to m9/mod3/maxlvl everyone in the nearl family (i love them little lovelies) and i have only done this with nearlter but blemi needs rocks and i hate rocks i hate farming 1-7 with a passion i have literally postponed farming rocks so much i have like 7??? un-e2'ed 6*s just bcs they need rocks (and also bcs they are not meta lol)

ur wallet is terrifying. anyways will u max pot the old man? i feel like u wld tbh but like complete guess.

and yeah most ppl will talk abt honkais story instead since it is pretty good, but i like the gameplay very personally, like... im a sucker for good hack-and-slash games (that i can play on mobile bcs idh a pc oop) that also dont require *that* much brain and honkai has honestly filled up that for me lol. its nice its flashy i press buttons its a win-win

but yeah before that, for the longest time, it was just arknights that stuck with me and its really obvious why bcs its a really good game (even now ofc tho sss pains me in every way possible) and i still do is2 all the time for fun even tho ive maxed out my candle level for weeks alr like hell yeah !!! i love this game!!! i burn out sometimes but i usually get back within one or two events (hence my incomplete guide ahead + the one medal missing from lingering echos + i only completed medal set for tw on the rerun) but yeah i love arknights and sometimes i wish i had more friends to yell abt it !!! watched the concert (the one with phenomenal agents and i was rly sad that i couldnt talk abt it to anyone properly)

ah once again sorry for the length, but i would love to hear what other gacha games you play as well ! personally i am a gacha game only person (my standards are a bit low sometimes) and i dont play much outside of gacha tbh. ah and of course, have a nice day !

i pretty much only pull on limited banners which is why i could put in that many for gavial and pozy without dipping into the wallet that much. ling and lee, on the other hand, THAT shit hurted my money. for my arknights pulls i basically set myself a number of rules that rely on the slight delay between CN and global that let me think out ops in advance and such. essentially, i allow myself one operator release between limited banners to actually invest in, based on how they look, their mechanics, and what i like in a character. so mlynar is my one between gavialter/pozy and omertexas/penance, simple as. GG was a previous "one." so was surtr. unfortunately this system does mean i have to skip characters that i do like- for example, i prio'ed GG over gnosis and fiammetta, who i both really enjoy as characters- because i ruled that GG has the most utility that i can take advantage of in my average playstyle and her global range is just too good at covering for my smallbrain moments. so for that reason, i normally have around 17 ten-pulls saved for each limited banner including the free ones that you get (meaning i average around 175 pulls since i throw in a few singles to make it nice and even.) ling and lee were an exception since mr lee just decided to fight me on it. to this day the only operator released on a limited banner that hasn't come home is irene and that's because i put foresight in myself and reminded myself that gavialter and pozemka would be upcoming in a much shorter gap than between ling/lee and specalter/irene, and i would regret it if i went all in for irene. the primary goal is always the operator who will be impossible to get at any other time of the year. yes i plot these things that far in advance like a general going to war. it's how i Survive . i've been doing it pretty much since i started when the limited to save up for was W.

i don't intend to pull for maxpot on mlynar for this reason. even with him sitting at my all time favorite character in the game, it doesn't fit my standard of pulling. eyes are ahead to omertexas and penance once he's home. though i do have idle plans to use any royal guard tokens i get on him. i would like him to be maxpot someday but given that i generally roll with the broad goal of collecting as many characters as possible, it's incompatible for the moment.

rn i indulge at feh and genshin at the request of my friends who do play them. i do enjoy genshin and it's a fun time killer- it's a shame the fanbase is So. i try not to indulge in gacha games unless they're recommended to me by friends, and arknights was, in fact, a rec when it was fresh enough (i think right after partial necrosis dropped because i had the frostnova lore explained to me as a hook.) i started right at the tail end of nian's banner. most of the vibeo games i play are non-gacha to avoid the hurts to my wallet that mr lee put on it. at least with arknights i can feel like i'm actually paying them for a good game PFSDLGH.....

#ash answers #anonymous #i tend to be of the opinion that a lot of gacha games are exploitative which is why i dont really do them unless recommended #though when i was younger i was very into mobile gaming

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misqnon · 27 days

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hi its march! my anon name changes with the months /j

ok thats fair if u didn't have a guess. maybe it just felt really obvious to me because i am... myself...

its hard NOT to ship op characters. they all have such fun dynamics!! hannyabul and magellan is like.. im being silly when i say i ship them,, but also they ARE kinda real boyfriends to me.

its such a shame when ppl ignore the silly side of zoro. he has a few extremely wholesome, adorable, fun moments with luffy in wano and.. yeah ... im excited for u to see the interactions they have. add that to the list of things i am excited for!! lol. do the 3 dangly earrings signify he uses 3 swords??? i Never noticed this but if so... thats genius?? either way they r so pretty and in wano they zoom in on his earrings multiple times and show them like . waving in the wind or something idk. its so .. i love it. one more thing im excited about LOL

IT *IS* THE SILVER FOX LOOK!!

HELL YEAH.. i honestly am not a huge fan of the wci arc. i really disliked it the first time i read it but i think there r a lot of things that contributed to that. i couldn't remember a lot of the story from before, i started it in the anime and then switched over to manga at some point so it was a bit of a jarring difference, i have complicated feelings about sanji, and i was really sleep deprived when i was reading it. it was super difficult to get through cuz it just felt like everything dragged on and on.. so when i was rereading i was really dreading coming back to that arc and having to slog through it again. but actually it wasn't that bad. its still nowhere near being a favorite for me, but it does have a lot of good moments. anyways i think u will have a much better time than me and im looking forward to seeing ur reactions!! (as usual)

dragon: "i miss my husband, sabo. i miss him a lot" /ref

one of the sanji tiktoks is actually extremely topical considering what arc ur on so ill probably send it when ur done with wci!!

i watched the scene u sent and!!! robin puts her WHOLE SOUL into that "i want to live!!!" i dont remember the japanese version that well tbh cuz its been so long since i watched it. so the dub is probably what i will remember when i think of that scene now...

i wont kill u for liking la luffy.... because i havent watched it yet LOL. i might end up agreeing with u (although tbh i doubt i will,, i tend to be more fond of things im familiar with). i like edgelord zoro but its only when he has a healthy amount of silliness to go along with it :( im very very sad to hear he isnt nearly as goofy in the live action. ive seen a few moments of him joking around but.. i miss u silly guy... i miss u....

live action usopp seems like he has more rizz than anime/manga usopp (forgive me for using slang. i have been told it sounds really odd when i do bc it sounds like an old man using it LOL). i think that is a very interesting choice!! cuz i love usopp and i do think hes really charming and a lovely person,, but i feel like him having 0 confidence in himself is so important to his character?? but he seemed like he was an enjoyable character to watch so maybe i shouldnt get too hung up on it.

tongue piercing doflamingo is canon to me too 🫡 its very fitting considering hes always doin something with his tongue

straw hat crew supports and encourages sanji to explore his gender because at the end of the day their friend is their friend and gender doesnt matter

im glad i didnt spoil anything phew!!

i will accidentally influence u to like law more. just like u influence me to like sanji more. tradeoff /j

penis death... yeah... penis death.... i love it.. its so insanely funny to me. penis death. also i find it funny that he seems to have a milder reaction to chopper saying it compared to luffy. like is that his soft spot for the cute reindeer showing?? is it bc theyre both doctors?? idk i like to analyze his relationships with the straw hats..

im procrastinating on the tierlist (im actually very busy irl with moving) but i will no t forget to send it,, i swear!!

u probably have turned on sending images in asks but i do this on my phone and im also.. kind of a tumblr noob.. so i dont know how to .. i will look it up. or just send the tierlist (when i make it) in a separate ask on my computer.

in terms of favorite characters we have in common: link, sesshomaru (i still haven't finished inuyasha. its been .. 10 years or something), kagamine rin (although tbh i like len more (im not actually that into vocaloid.. just a little?)), crowley, robin, doflamingo

i do know a lot of the characters on there but havent actually consumed the media theyre part of to feel super attached to them. i have too many things i plan to watch/read/play and i just end up not doing any of it LOL

i will keep trying for sure 🫡 ive been drawing a lot more recently. because.. im hyperfixating on anime characters. did i already say that

im pretty sure that any characters that have black eyes oda just makes them brown whenever their eye color is visible. and similarly, the anime just makes anyone with black eyes have grey or white. i dont know if oda has thought abt most of his characters eye color,, or if he actually does just plan for them all to have brown eyes. but headcanoning crazy eye colors is more fun imo!!

the anime notoriously does NOT know what colors things are. my favorite guy law has grey eyes in the anime and theyre gold in the manga.. which is devastating!? cuz gold is way more interesting and fitting and... yeah. i will forever be upset abt that. if they're gonna whiten all the characters to such a crazy level why cant they change the eye colors that are objectively WRONG (following manga canon)

brown is a good choice for luffy!!

i also love nami having brown eyes. they're pretty!!

grey definitely does work for zoro!! idk hes pretty no matter what.. and i cant clearly picture any color for him. i think most muted colors would look good

usopp having brown would look good too!! i was trying to think of the characters color pallets when i was imagining their eye colors and tbh hes worn a lot of brown so.

YEAH i saw that colorspread n that was why i was like . . yknow what... brown eyed sanji.. bc he looks very pretty there tbh. to go on a bit of a tangent, im kinda a blue eyed hater because my whole family (outside of my dad) has blue eyes . I've seen too much of it.. its boring. my mom has literal baby blues tho theyre so bright and. yeah its.. its striking.. its cool. its interesting. but the rest of us just have regular blue eyes. theyre dark and kind of grey. its too boring!!! and . therefore.. brown eyed sanji.. brown eyed sanji is best .

i am so .. i miss robins early design .. they kept her blue eyes (which again.. are objectively wrong according to manga canon) but they just had to make her like. the palest member of the straw hats. i love her having blue eyes so im not complaining that they didnt fix it but its like ... why did u fix one thing and not the other... i find that very frustrating. i wish they had just kept both her skin color and her eyes LOL. also cowgirl robin was so cool 😢

franky with pink eyes is SO GOOD??? tbh no matter what eye color he has i think it should be bright and vibrant

thats what i was thinking too!! the purple goes with his color scheme.

no worries abt not being able to reply <3

dressrosa is by far my favorite arc!! and then next i think is wano, egghead (the most recent arc), and impel down

those are my absolute favorites but other ones i like are arlong park, syrup village, punk hazard, sabaody/post war/return to sabaody, marineford (this would be another absolute favorite if not for the fact its so painful), whatever arc zoro joined in, drum island, skypeia, and.. controversially i do like fishman island despite also finding it a bit boring

i also rly enjoyed the reverie (it counts as a separate arc on the wiki) this one is apparently directly after wci.. i can never remember when it takes place chronologically. theres not really any action but i dont even care... i dont read for action

people dont like post timeskip one piece as much for some reason? its confusing to me bc almost all my favorite arcs are post timeskip.. im loving the focus shifting to the whole world.. and i love reading about huge world events. and i love theorizing about things. its all very fun

its really hard to choose just a few favorites LOL. i keep wanting to add other arcs i really enjoyed . augh.

what are YOUR favorite arcs :o

hello!!

no u’ve put me on the hannyabul and magellan train now. its my new otp. sorry. u did this

YEA HIS 3 EARRINGS ARE FOR HIS SWORDS!! and yes im. so excited for so MANY wano moments (that i know of but havent been completely spoiled for: everyone in beast pirate disguises, zoro and luffy reunion (+ everyone else ofc!) sanji’s raid suit and subsequent Germa Angst, THE ZORO / SANJI DEATH PACT??. DEMONIO FLEUR!?!??! (GOING TO LOSE MY MIND AT THAT ONE) AND MORE. and if theyre gonna be animation zoro’s earrings like that then damn. i got even more to look forward to on top of tht

i like wci but mostly for the sanji arc. i dont care much for the setting (although the alice in wonderland insp is cool!) and i actually love pudding but the fact she’s apparently 16 puts a bad taste in my mouth every time she’s on screen. it doesnt feel like its dragging on yet but as much as i do wanna continue i keep not having the motivation bc i know i still have quite a bit to go through vjbjfdkn. im glad u enjoyed it more ur second time tho!! (katakuri….gotta get to katakuri at least)

NOT THE DRAGON ROBOTNIK QUOTE JCCNSDKJN “i miss my wife tails”

and yes…YES……SANJITOK/…

HELL YES IM SO GLAD U WATCHED THE ROBIN SCENE. SHE DID PUT HER WHOLE SOUL INTO IT. FUN FACT I WATCHED A PANEL OF THE VOICE ACTORS ON YT AND THAT WAS THE FIRST AND ONLY TAKE . INSANE

yea the opla is so fun and a great ride but like anything it has its problems! although im still just amazed that it somehow seemed to break the live action anime curse and be the only one to do so with moderate success and yet it adapted. probably one of the hardest and longest anime to adapt ever. like how. do tell me if u watch it!!

jacob is just too hot to play usopp is the issue- KNDFSJSKL /HJ. it’s definitely still played as fake confidence but its a different flavor of it for sure.

and yes beautiful. gnc sanji my beloved. transji my beloved. sanji forced to lipsync for his life by iva my beloved

i am completely ok with this character influencing btw. tradeoff initiated. i actually saw a law post and thought of u the other day!! i was gonna send it to u but i was like i’ll wait for the next letter…so here

idk if this is fanon or canon a lot but ppl say law has a cuteness to weak animals bc of bepo. robin core

THATS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY BC IM IN THE MIDDLE OF TRYING TO MOVE TOO AND AM ALSO BUSY FROM THAT JVBFJD

omg tumblr noob…i’ve been on this damn website for more than 10 years 😭

slay im glad we have some in common >:^) inuyasha was my first actual anime! and sesshomaru my first anime crush…wow. love that guy. [don’t watch the yashahime sequel. i dont wanna talk abt it 😐] and thats valid i love both the kagamine twins!!

i havent had time to draw but man…i draw like. in my mind. u know. i…i think about things…i COULD draw…that counts right,

i agree! i was surprised no one has asked in an SBS but i know it HAS to have been a question so maybe he has a reason he isnt answering??

I HEARD HIS EYES ARE GOLD IN MANGA WHICH IS SO FUCKING COOL?? GOLD EYES ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAV IN CHARACTER DESIGN!! and god. yea. yea. like oh okay you can get the colors wrong on everything and not change them to be right but u can make usopp whiter than a sheet. ok. i see how it is. they even lightened CHOPPER FOR PETE SAKE???

im not a blue eyed HATER but i definitely prefer brown eyes. as a brown eyes haver im pushing back on the blue eye supremacy with spite ‼️

dont even get me started on post timeskip robin. biggest downgrade. like at least franky is still himself and can change his hair and his face is still franky. someone else worded it best in saying oda took away so many features that made robin’s character design recognizable and unique that she feels like a completely different one. APPARENTLY robin was never supposed to be tan and anime assumed that too, but idc if u keep the blue then keep the skin color…its like. blatantly just colorism there

omg…DRESSROSA WAS VERY GOOD! that makes me think…hey have u seen this video . made by the same editor as the last one i sent u also…that makes me so excited to move forward. AND MAYBE ITS JUST BC IM GAY AS HELP BUT I LOOVVED IMPEL DOWN !! 70% FOR THE NEWKAMA AND 30% FOR CROCODILE

i didnt think fishman island was anywhere near as boring or badly paced as i heard. it was literally fine imo. not my favorite but not bad! except um. fishman island sanji can burn pls stop making me hate my favorite character (THOUGH I STAND BY RETURN TO SABAODY SANJI BEING WORSE THAN FISHMAN ISLAND. AT LEAST HE WASNT SNIFFIN PPL WHAT THE *FUCK* WAS THAT]

and i defintely see the post-timeskip haters points sometimes. there’s less time spent with the characters just. getting to interact and chill- partially bc the anime doesnt really do filler now but also partially bc now the crew is so large that oda never writes them all in one place. theyre always splitting up. and also the obvious things like robin getting sidelines and her design change, zoro is less silly, overall there’s less lightheartedness (although at times i can appreciate that). but the thing that bothers me most is it feels like oda got more brave with the off color jokes and sexualization and such. it was there pre timeskip (esp starting around thriller bark) but post timeskip its just like. sexualization and perv jokes are turned up to 200%. and yea im bitter bc sanji got worse in that aspect (although i actually prefer his post timeskip design! i like his stupid little goatee and his new suits/outfits are very nice! and his character development has obviously. gotten some spotlight) but damn if they couldnt give that to some of the other crew members too! though i digress. and ur right- the arcs and story HAVE improved and been super epic!

hmm..i think my favorite arcs would have to be [as of where i am currently] water 7/enies lobby, impel down, and dressrosa. whole cake will probably be up there when i finish it just bc of it being the My Guy Arc.

help im running out of one piece questions…uh…uh…any other strawhat headcanons? about anything!

p.s. i saw this and it made me laugh so hard

#asks #replies #march anon #long post

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madafact · 10 months

Text

this is a surreal feeling. ...this experience of reality and the story i was raised in. south of real sur-real... i think thats my plates for the future.

i used to want fatshm but now i think they will say sur-real..because i am below this shit. i am literally in the longest hold down ever, and i think ive not stopped tumbling under water for a bit over a month.

i am back in california and it might as well be the most desolate island on earth. truly a desert, truly an island.

but here i find myself. in the house i wanted to leave because of awful management and a serious use of the pawn card. not a home, a building. even after combing through old photos and reliving being a child, this house just feels.....dead.

biggest sigh yet.

the yard, the style, anthony is all over this house. he really was a massive push in shifting the energy here away from hoarding to making a semi tolerant environment. we combined on the yard and al the needs of the house...i mean building. we really tried to make it a home. who denies a home to their children? people in my family.

this house was purchased by terrie in 1991. and its been a dumping ground ever since. just baaaaaadd energy. lots of death and just....sigh..

but thats why the yard was the gem in the rough. its an orchard basically and could keep a person happy, healthy and psyched for the rest of time. kind of interesting.....the light, and the dark.

i only found comfort being in the yard, it was the only place the 'inhabitants of 1644 corte verano" never went. so i learned a whole class on biology because i found escape and purpose.

pretty basic.

but now this building and its contents are going to soley be mine. all the horrible energy, useless items, and things of value that first must be mined. all mine. for the taking, or in my mind, the leaving. maybe just insure it and burn the mother fucker down. poor trees, that would hurt. but essentially thats where i am. would you burn down a pile of sticks that was stackd perfectly, in the text "burnmedown"

i wouldnt blame you. but back on the track of what is causing me all this daze and confusion. i dont know what to call it, or call doing it.

i sent my dad a loaded text message just laying out how i am dissapointed. i went from hearing, you're the most important thing in my life, to 'the masters family died with anthony' inferring that he was going to have kids, and....yeah you can figure out what he meant about me. lol i have to laugh because thats probably one of the most hurtful things ive ever heard, it confirmed what ive always felt but, only recently could articulate and act of....my dad does not like me.

its so obvious that i cant really even comprehend much past that.

...lol...sigh....lol...sigh...lol....sigh.....lol

so i guess hes right, the masters family did die with anthony.

i dont want the legacy of sadness, shame, deceit, denial, anger...blah blah blah ..sigh....blah...lol

thats bascially what my brain has done, turned into 'saftey mode' and its just either nervous laughter, or a constant sigh.

and the wheels keep rolling..

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its-an-inxp-again · 3 years

Text

SP/so vs SO/sx

Not sure how much this can be generalized since it's only my personal experience. When I was a pre-teen my best friend used to be a so/sx 6w7, while I am 9w1 sp/so. Sp dom vs Sp blind... some stuff went down and it’s fascinating to analyze such differences to me (I feel like I'm fascinated by sp blinds in general wtf).

She was the V immature of the pair, throwing herself in any possible weird experience she could have just for the sake of it. She would always cause so much drama it was legit concerning and I always was on the sidelines, not participating and sometimes suggesting her to stop, but did she listen to me? Never, and also, in some ways, I think I did in fact understand her desire to feel alive and feel stuff and do dumb stuff, possibly in that I am sx-blind and I won't fucking allow myself to do that, while she totally did. I guess, I don't usually pay any mind to my sx-blindness but the only time that it kind of felt like I was missing on something was when I would spend time with her? And also now that I'm actually studying the instictual variants I guess I'm starting to realize it (but also not really there's a shit ton of work to do). She would always act as if she was the protagonist of some weird 19th romantic novel but, make it dumber (we were 11-12 after all, how smart could we be?).

I deeply, deeply understand her need and wish to be like a novel protagonist. I do think of myself in that way quite often. But while she did it by acting and getting actively involved in stuff, I’ve always done the same by hyper-interpreting my simpler, more boring experiences (9 basic bitch here, feeling attached to something while being withdrawn and out of touch with your body results in amazing fantasy sky castles). She was never satisfied by this.

If she wanted intensity, she would create it by idk, doing some dumb stuff she would for sure later regret. While she went on to feel so alive, I would stay in the back overthinking my more boring life. An example would be that while she actually acted so that everyone around us hated her and shunned her, I would simply feel and think I was being shunned as well, but in practice I would never do something that would elicit a strong reaction out of others. I basically fantasized about it. As you can tell her being a Social Dominant I guess she got the sx juice she wanted through social stuff (her reputation, going against the social system (social 6s often do that)).

In so many ways, if I were to simplify it, she was a mixture of Dorian Gray and Heathcliff and I was Des Esseintes. She was an edgier version of Dorian Gray, wanting to experience everything but make it dark and painful and tormented (a là Heathcliff), not once holding herself back. Des Esseintes, on the other hand, would also feel like a misfit and a tormented soul but he did so by staying inside his house and hyper-interpreting his experiences to an insane degree, until he basically starts to hallucinate. He barely goes outside of his home and when he does everything seems weird, scary, magical in its own way, and while a bit creepy that’s also part of being sx-blind I think? You secretly want that way of feeling alive via the dark things in life (not sure if my fixes have a part in this as idk other 9s may not relate to this maybe) but also you want to go about it safely (sp) and by not exposing yourself (9), so it becomes like wearing a pair of glasses that adds a layer of poetry and beauty and suffering to an otherwise normal, boring and inane reality (again, 9 fantasy shit). But that’s about it. It’s a magical pair of glasses that at times I feel like I can remove and put on at will when I’m bored and I feel like I want more out of life. Outsourcing sx if you will w/o ever acting on this shit. I relate to Des Esseintes even though he was possibly a sp 4 but whatever I guess...

My old friend, being sp-blind, of course did not feel the same need for “safety” and had nothing to hold her back, really... the 6w7 sp blind brings a lot of energy and a way to never be able to fucking stand still, so yeah... it was so fascinating to see her act that differently from me, but also empathizing with her desire to get MORE out of life and dive into the darker aspects of it. I guess that’s why I sticked with her even when I thought she was being unreasonable and annoyingly melodramatic. Most people would shun her and don’t get her ways and while I can’t say that I got her, I would at least sympathise with her wish to experience more and be dramatic, even if I couldn’t quite elaborate it at the time and I superficially thought she was being too immature (this is so funny, we were fucking 10 and we were already doing instictual stuff with me acting like the adult one idk. Also w1 may play a part in this shit. Me being sp dom felt like I was supposed to check on her but also I didn't really do it because it was fun to tag along with her dumb stuff). But while she had the courage(?) to act on such a wish, I did not - I never had it, and instead compensated by having an hyperactive mental landscape...

There was a Wilde’s quote that went like, “the artist always represents what they themselves cannot live and experience”, or whatever, and I’ve always related to it way too deeply, lmao. I would represent, think, imagine, write the stories, and instead she would actively live them. Also Wilde was a so/sx so I guess that means something

While I may be bitter, because even as a sx-blind I at times feel....... like I want to live and get involved in stuff more? also I guess 9s have a way to dissociate with their life quite easily so that doesn't help (a sx-blind 7 would probably feel like they're getting involved more). Plus possibly having a 5fix makes it worse? it kind of sucks tbfh. Like it feels I've been dissociated since I was 4 yo and never got back to actual earth wtf. 95x sp/so may be the most fucking boring thing on earth + it may bring a neurotic need to keep your little bubble untouched by real life and finding security in that bubble, to the point that you're actually missing out. Idk. I may *do* stuff to make me feel like I'm going around with people more but it doesn't really affect me that deeply so yeah... fuck all of this. It's not even the same as being stuck in your comfort zone? I guess it is but again I may at times challenge myself in some small ways and have new experiences but it's like nothing really reaches me idk.

Again, I usually prefer to go about stuff safely (aka not disrupting my little bubble too much), and in this way, I’ve always had way less regrets than her - so in this, I’m actually fine with my way of playing it safe. I like letting myself wear that pair of glasses when I feel like it and call it a day. I’ve always been content with very little...

Though honestly I’ve not been hanging out with her in years (at least 8 years, wow) and while I do hear from her I can’t say I can get to see how much she’s changed, lol

It was weird, you’d expect that with such a melodramatic friend the break up would be at least as dramatic, instead it has been quite the opposite - we simply slowly stopped reaching out to each other once we had nothing much in common anymore, and something else going on with our lives, lmao...

Also I mistyped her as a 4w3 in the past but it's so funny I got that little about the enneagram and IVs and somehow got her IV right at first try wtf I guess she's just that obvious

#enneagram #enneagram 5 #enneagram 4 #instinctual variants #so/sx #social instinct #long post #sometimes i say stuff #ennea5 #ennea4 #enneagram 6 #enneagram test #ennea9 #enneagram 9 #ennea6 #ennea 6 #ennea 9 #sp/so

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honestlyandrogynousnightmare · 3 years

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magic reveal

So ive been thinking about the magic reveal we did get and also the different magic reveals we COULD have gotten so i thought id project all my thoughts into another massive tumblr rant:

personally, i dont think the magic reveal was bad at all. yes, i wouldve done it slightly differently, i think it was done way too late in the show and left little time to explore how that reveal affected merlin and arthurs relationship, and obviously we never actually ended up seeing if magic was legalised and all. but i dont hate the magic reveal we got. the key part i really love is that it was done on Merlins own terms, he could have just lied, but instead he finally told Arthur the truth and i think that there were many reasons for that decision being made.

firstly, Merlin definitely felt guilty and blamed himself for Arthur being stabbed, he must have at least partly blamed himself because everything he did directly led to Mordred turning into a little shit. Part of him might have just felt as if he owes Arthur that explanation yknow. secondly, i feel like by that point he was tired of lying in general, he needed to get that secret off his chest. those two things combined with the fact that Arthur was dying may have pushed him to telling the truth, because deep down he did know that it was probably the last chance to tell Arthur the truth.

i liked how they presented Arthurs reaction too, the clear message there was that Athur was angry at the lying, thats the part he saw as betrayal, not the magic itself. he didnt want to believe that Merlin was a liar, when he always saw him as the one person that was entirely honest with him. hell, he still trusted him enough to send him back to Camelot and Gwen so he knew Merlin wasnt evil. If the writers actually did a good job at developing Arthurs character, i feel like itd be more obvious that Arthurs stance on magic was different from his fathers, but yknow bbc and their shoddy writing. I love that moment of acceptance as well, when he tells Merlin that he doesnt want him to change. He doesnt even now about all the things Merlin sacrificed and lost in order to protect Arthur and Camelot but he still accepts him. I think that when he first fund out it was all like “holy crap i dont even know him” but after spending a few hours with Merlin he realises that its still the exact same person he knew the week before.

anddddd as much as i like the way they did that magic reveal, the ending of the show left me with no closure and a lot of tears. my ideal magic reveal wouldve happened earlier, either at the start of season 5 or near the end of season 4. It would give us a chance to see them talk it out, and god we know that there would be arguing, and if arthur wasnt dying he would probbaly be shouting but the key part here is that arthur wouldnt hurt merlin. i think he culd consider sending him away if his father was still king just to protect him but we all know merlin would reply with “no <3″. but since i cant see the reveal happening when uther is king, i will be ignoring that scenario. and again, theres many ways this could play out.

the one way that ive always found interesting was arthur figuring it out on his own, because he may be an idiot, but hes not stupid. *if you like this sort of thing read “so close and im halfway to it on ao3, its a merthur fic and the magic reveal in that one makes me cry so much and the fic is so well written* I feel like at one point, he would just put the pieces together, and it would all make so much sense to him? Merlins random disappearances and scars would make sense, the luck he had when it came to fights, Merlins weird reactions when someone mentioned magic, how on earth merlin of all people managed to survive every battle and fight arthur was in when some of his best knights didnt.

then theres the very cliche “merlin using magic mid battle to save everyone” reveal. because its mid battle, i really cant picture them talking it out there lol, i picture a lot of ignoring but also if other people saw him using magic, we all know the first thing arthur would do is give the knights a good old “if you kill him i will kill you and then myself”, it wouldnt be until later that they would actually talk.

and then like the canon magic reveal, theres Merlin doing it on his own terms. i personally really like thhis one because it gives him so much more control over the situation and over his words. *another fic rec here if you like this sorta thing, its called “to the world that let you by” and its really beautiful and made me cry at 1am so there you go, and as you guessed it, its another merthur*. i love this reveal because it gives merlin a chance to explain, and arthur a chance to listen and try to understand.

now there are loads of different sub categories that could go into those, like Arthur finding merlin creating butterflies out of thin air lol, but i wont go into those. whatever reveal would happen, i feel like “the talk” after would usually end up in a similar way. Arthurs reaction would be similar to what we got in the canon reveal, because the actual magic isnt what would hurt most. it would be the lies. Arthur has been lied to and betrayed by so many people you cant really expect him not to react badly to being lied to. the magic sure would confuse him and put him in a difficult position, because you have to keep in mind that his entire life he has been told that magic is pure evil, and to him, merlin is the polar opposite of that. i think it would just make him question everything, like does he even know this man? has he won any of his battles or has it always been merlin? why is he in camelot? why would a sorcerer be serving him? but he wouldnt hurt him. he wouldnt even consider that imo, sure, he will demand an explanation, but he wouldnt actually thin about hurting him.

and merlin would understand why hes angry about the lying, that much is obvious. and he would be reluctant to tell arthur about the things that were happening behind his back all those years, but he would be honest. and go that conversation would be hard for both of them, i cant really imagine them having it without a lot of crying, shouting and even more wine tbh. arthur isnt good at listening which is why this would be so hard for him too, but merlin has to be honest, completely honest with arthur for the first time in his life and thatd be difficult.

and i think merlin would handle arthurs reactions well, even if arthur decided to lose his temper lol. but i can still imagine him being a bit bitter if arthur judged his choices and stuff when it came to poisoning morgana and freeing the dragon, asking what on earth HE would do in that situation. where the only choices he sees are bad ones, and he has to pick the one thats least evil.

arthur would probably be most pissed off at the thing about his mother tbh, because merlin outright lied there, usually its just deflecting but he made that deliberate choice to lie. but i really do think he would understand all of this, while not every choice merlin did was good, he did it with good intention.

and then arthur would remove the ban on magic and they would kiss and get married amd live happily ever aft-

thanks bbc.

anyway if you want any more magic reveal fics (or links to the ones i mentioned, ao3 can be bloody annoying sometimes) feel free to comment or message me or anything, i have a couple more in my bookmarks.

thanks for reading this rant, scuse the bad grammar, id love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this and magic reveals in general so feel free to comment! have a great day<3

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 3 years

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Hakuoki Yuugiroku 3 drama: Please teach me, Yamazaki-san! English translation

Special thanks to @nollatooru for extracting text again since there’s no way this would have been translated anytime soon since the majority of drama translations that I’ve found as videos only are near the very bottom of my to-do list.

This is my translation of the 薄桜鬼遊戯録隊士達の大宴会店铺特典「教えてください山崎さん！」, the Yuugiroku 3 (too much of a hassle to look up the actual name) drama: Please teach me, Yamazaki-san!

Ended up doing a bit more research that I would have liked to translate this since the names of the positions in the Shinsengumi’s organization for spies didn’t translate well from Japanese into Chinese (huzzah for google translate and for biographies that list names in Chinese and Japanese so I was able to find the information I was looking for in English)... Also, i didn’t look up the gameplay for anything since I had to uninstall KW and EB for space when I was taking things off my damaged passport, not that it would have made much of a difference since I can’t recall a point when the “Watch” was actually voiced... so I might not really be consistent with a few things in this translation since I only did research during the latter half of this...?

oh well. i don’t know Japanese and don’t do the editing for my subtitle videos until I compare everything to the audio later so I can claim ignorance. i suppose that’s an odd benefit of not understanding Japanese hahaha.

Anyway, as always, my translation not be 100% accurate since I translate from Chinese. final edits will probably take a bit longer (in comparison to the other things i’m still sitting on) to do since im still debating about what im do with all the Watch-related words since I really don’t like it when the things I translate aren’t consistent....

PERSONAL RECOMMENDATION: I HIGHLY ADVISE AGAINST READING THIS AND WAITING FOR MY SUBTITLE VIDEO.

Hakuoki Shinkai Yuugiroku, Please teach me, Yamazaki-san! Drama CD

Translation by KumoriYami

Yamazaki: (I think that since there haven't been any large manhunt operations lately [reword later? tl can also mean "to hunt and arrest"], things have been quiet.)

(However, what is that guy doing/is that guy's purpose?)

The one out there, I'm not going to run.

So come out and tell me why you're spying on me.

~wind blows~

(Not planning on coming out...?)

-grips sword-

Then, I'll take the imitative to attack.

(movement in bushes)

Souma: Ah, please wait a moment!

Yamazaki: Oh. You are... Souma-kun?

(movement in bushes again) Saito: Sure enough, I was immediately found/discovered/I was detected immediately. As expected of Yamazaki.

Yamazaki: Based on just the breathing, I thought there was only one person, yet Saito-san was also still here. Exactly what are you doing?

Souma: Sorry! I didn't mean to do anything strange.

It's just that I wanted to observe Yamazaki-san work.

Yamazaki: Observe me work?

Although it's fine if you want to watch, but aren't you the Chief's page?

Saito: I recommended that he try this, But he was immediately found. Still it's better to ask the person himself directly.

Yamazaki: You two, what are you talking about?

Souma:...Um, Then, Yamazaki-san, please show me how to [/you] work! ----

Souma: Hakuoki Shinkai Yuugiroku, Store Bonus Drama CD, Please teach me, Yamazaki-san! ----

Yamazaki: In other words, you now understand the duties of a page, and still want to know what sort work the other warriors do, and want to try monitoring/surveillance/doing the Watch's work?

Is that how it is? Souma-kun.

Souma: It's just as you said. As the chief's page, I work hard every day, but I still don't know a lot about the Shinsengumi.

That's why I went and asked Saito-san [about this].

Saito: I know that Souma is working very hard. Though that will naturally be [more/become] obvious as time goes by/Though as time goes by, that will naturally be understood/Although this has been said for a while, this will naturally be understood. [check audio]

Yamazaki: But you don't want to wait for/until then, and want to be of use as quickly as possible?

Souma: Yes. Can you help me with this, even if it's [for] just a little bit?

Yamazaki: Hm.

Souma: Yamazaki-san.

Yamazaki: No, I was just reminiscing the past/thinking about the past.

I used to be as anxious as you are.

Alright, if I can, permit me to teach you.

Souma: Thank you very much!

Saito: Then can I also accompany/join you?

Yamazaki: Saito-san also wants to? That won't be a problem.

Saito: I also have experience following people while on patrol

I'm very interested in how the Watch [im pretty sure it's the Watch here and in the earlier instance. tho i can't say for certain since CN doesn't exactly do capitalization and ive never played the game in Chinese] fulfills its duties.

Please allow me to learn again. [check audio]

Yamazaki: In that case then, I'll ask you to please look after me.

----

Yamazaki: Although it normally referred to as the Watch,

the Watch is actually divided into two sections.

Souma: In terms of how it organized, sorry but please review it for me again.

Saito: The part of the organization for spies which acts by itself to gather external intelligence is called Shoshi shirabeyaku ken kansatsu*, and within that, those who are responsible for investigating/monitoring the conduct of [the/our?] members/the investigators whose duty is to supervise the conduct of/our members are known as the Kansatsugata**

* Shinsengumi's organizational post for investigating movements of the opponents and keeping the Shinsengumi members under control. (source: https://japanese-wiki-corpus.github.io/person/Kuwajiro%20OISHI.html)

** had to look this up on the Shinsengumi wiki.samurai-archives

Yamazaki, who holds both positions/is capable of accomplishing both duties, is at the core of the Kansatsugata.

Souma: Shoshi shirabeyaku and Kansatsugata...

After hearing this again, I really feel that Yamazaki-san is quite amazing.

Yamazaki: Uh, do-don't say that out loud. I'm not used to it.

Souma: But, monitoring/investigating/supervising the conduct of the other members...

Saito: It's to secretly investigate whether or not members are conducting themselves in a manner that is befitting as members of the the Shinsengumi, and whether or not they have done anything improper.

Souma: In other words/That is to say, that also includes my actions so far.

Yamazaki: At the moment, you have no problems [there are no problems with you?].

Souma: Is-Is that so...

Yamazaki: There are almost two hundred members. Among them, there will be people who do not abide by the regulations, and those who clearly show their dissatisfaction/obviously dissatisfied or are treasonous/or even rebellious.

Souma: I see. Indeed there are people who obviously show that.

Saito: It these people incite trouble within the team, it would be very troublesome.

That's why the Kansatsugata are needed to investigate people like this.

Yamazaki: Having said that, the three of us have been quite noisy so it would be helpful if we quickly correct that here. Ah. The two of you, over there.

Saito: Say who is there [more like "name" i guess? probably more "identify who is over there" ]

Souma: That is... Nagakura-san? There are several other people [He's with some other people/several others].

Yamazaki: This is a rare opportunity to train one of the basic skills for spying/[needed] as a spy. I'll give you a demonstration. Afterwards, you'll eavesdrop on their conversation without being discovered.

Souma: Yes, I'll do my best.

--------

Saito: Almost 15 minutes have passed. But it's really bold for you to have come up with this practical training, Yamazaki.

Yamazaki: For his first time attempt at doing this, Nagakura-san is suitable [to practise with]. As long as one isn't murderous [being bloodthirsty? think of something later], he'll basically ignore you.

Saito: Nn. If it was Souji, he would immediately draw his sword for a harsh/ruthless interrogation.

Yamazaki: No, Saito-san would do the same thing, and immediately get rid of your pursuer [not sure if this is in the "dispose of" sense though the tl i have can be translated that way lol].

Saito: Well, it doesn't feel good to be tested when I obviously haven't been disloyal.

Yamazaki: It's as you say, but this is my job.

Souma: AAAHHHHHH!!!!

Saito: Uh. [That’s] Souma. Why is he being hunted down [chased/pursued]?

Yamazaki: By whom/Who is it? Ah, Okita-san, at this time?

(frantic steps) Souma: Sorry! I didn't mean to do anything else!

This was just training for surveillance work!

(sword swung) Souma: AAAHHH!!

Okita-san, please forgive me!

Saito: An unexpected situation.

Yamazaki: He needs help to get away/escape from that situation, he isn't his opponent at all/he's no match for him.

Saito: I'll figure out a way to deal with Souji. You escape with Souma/You take Souma and run away. --------

Souma: Truly thank you for just now. Okita-san was already behind me before I realized it I really thought that I was going to die/I was dead.

Saito: Dying is a bit of an exaggeration.

But I'm certain he would have stabbed your neck with his sword and left you half-dead.

Yamazaki: I didn't expect Okita-san to be nearby, but there was way of knowing that you'd encounter him/but nothing can be done about meeting him [check audio].

Well then, change your mood for the next training [reword later]. The target is that room. Remain quiet from this point onward.

Souma: What's next?

Yamazaki: Take this letter and swap it with the letter in that room. But, in the next room, there is someone you must not be detected by.

Saito: Training for intelligence work? If this goes well, then it's possible that the other party won't even notice you.

Souma: That would be good, so it's just this letter? Then, I'll be right back.

Yamazaki: Ah, be very careful.

---------

Yamazaki: He entered the room without any problems.

Saito: Ah. So, who is the person in the next room?

Yamazaki: Well, it shouldn't matter since that person is asleep during the day.

( door slides open, then frantic steps)

Souma: Saito-san, Yamazaki-san! I'm sorry! I couldn't do it! As soon as I entered the room, I felt that someone was staring at me through the door of the next room! There was also this creepy laughter/ing!

Saito: Laughter? The eyes staring at you, were they red? [i swear this is going to become fanart one day lol. for both the spying and souma talking about what happened]

Souma: Yes! they didn't look like human eyes at all!

(door slides open.... slow creaking footsteps)

Saito: Does that mean that one over there was...

Yamazaki: Ah, damn it! He's awake!

Saito: Yamazaki, you go first! I'll deal with this!

Yamazaki: Sorry! I'll leave the General Secretary [so... i don't really like the English localization translation of Sanan's position being a "colonel" so i looked up what it said on wikipedia and used that] to you! Souma-kun, come here!

This training/Training ends here!

Souma: Eh, eeehhhhhhhh?!

Saito: I'm sorry that it was noisy while your rested [that this noise disturbed your rest?], this was as a result of... --------

Souma: What the hell that just now...

Yamazaki + Saito: It was just your imagination.

Souma: Eh. But, "General Secretary" was clearly said...

Yamazaki + Saito: You imagined hearing it [tl is more "it was an illusion" and one that is heard... maybe "you're hearing things"?. kinda gave up on thinking about that right now. ]

Souma: Is, is that so... uh. That being said...

Saito: What's wrong/What is it?

Souma: Although the Kansatsugata feels quite unremarkable, each individual/everyone posses outstanding abilities, and I've been made aware of that again. [However] I 'm incapable of doing this sort of work.

Yamazaki: Hm. It can be said that you're not talented at this.

Souma: Eh?

Yamazaki: In the first place, not everyone can do this.

All of us within the Kansatsugata are constantly working on improving our skills.

We're always fighting in the shadows for the Shinsengumi.

What you think of being outstanding abilities is the results of our hard work. [remarkable capabilities?]

Souma: Truly, Yamazaki-san is amazing. I understand why everyone trusts you!

Yamazaki: Th-That's why you shouldn't look at me like that. But for you, I think that you're better suited to doing honest work [tl can basically mean "honourable," "not devious" or "out in the open" in the straightforward sense] and not this secret monitoring work/surveillance in the shadows [reword later].

Saito: Indeed, compared to secretly taking covert actions in the shadows, you are better suited at working in the open, Souma.

Souma: I-is that so...

Thank you very much for this/that. If it's possible, I hope to still learn some things from you.

Yamazaki: There will be opportunities for that. Then, we'll end today's training here. Souma-kun, is there/do you have anything else you want to ask?

Souma: [Something] I want to ask.... ah. then, Yamazaki-san, may I ask you one last question?

Yamazaki: Ah, if I can answer, I won't hold back [will/do so].

Souma: What sort of technique is the "Tatami flip"?

Yamazaki: Ta... Where did you hear that name from?

Souma: Just now during this investigator training/spy training, Nagakura-san mentioned it/Nagakura-san mentioned it while doing the operative training. It is said that it is Yamazaki-san's most powerful technique.

Yamazaki: That guy said something unnecessary! No, Souma-kun, that's.... It's not something amazing like a secret technique..

Saito: Why are you being modest? That move is indeed capable of being referred to as/called a secret technique. If it's possible, I'll ask you to please teach me it. Perhaps I will be able to apply it to kenjutsu.

Yamazaki: Even Saito-san, what are you saying? [Even Saito-san is saying this? check audio]

Souma: Please, Yamazaki-san!

Saito: I'll be requesting the same of you, Yamazaki. [tl is more "i'm also requesting (you) to do so/asking"]

Yamazaki: Bo-Both of you, please raise your heads. I-I get it! I'll teach you.

Souma: Really?! Thank you very much!

Yamazaki: But, you can't tell anyone else about this.

Saito: Nn. Understood.

Yamazaki: Then, please get behind me. Aoyi***, Tatami flip!

This is the literal Mandarin pronunciation of the tl without tones. CN tl can mean “profound argumentation” (in Chinese), tho it's also used to refer to some of the highest level of martial skills in JP (so says a baidu search on the term).

The English google translate of that page puts this phrase as "Ogi," and after reading this page that mentions "ogi" (http://www.aikiweb.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-9948.html#:~:text=Yielding%20is%20called%20%22ju%22%20as,an%20open%20heart%20without%20ego.), so i will probably change this to either "Secret move" or "hidden technique" based on what it mentioned there

Souma: Uoh!

Yaamzaki: Ju-Just now, that was the Tatami flip.

Souma: Amazing, that was amazing, Yamazaki-san! How were you able to do that without any tools [check audio]? Please tell me how to do this!

Saito: This can be used indoors while fighting defensively/can be used as a defence when fighting indoors. It can also be used to hinder an enemy's movements.

Yamazaki: Yes. This requires focusing your strength into the centre of your palm, and within a single breath, smack/slap the edge of the tatami, and then lifting it up when the edge bounces.

Souma: So it's like that? Hoh.... tatami flip! Uh. Areh? It didn't bounce at all.

Yamazaki: Haha. It's not something you can master right away. It also took me a long time to do it. Concentrate/Focus a bit more strength into the palm of your hand.

Souma: Ha! Ah! Yah! It-It's not moving...

Saito: Practise makes perfect./Won't practise make perfect [check audio]? Alright, I will challenge this. Should the position of my hand be around here?

Yamazaki: Yes. [Though] It's better to have it moved a bit forward [moved up a bit]/ if the if the center of gravity is moved forward.

Saito: Understood. Then, I'll be going. Secret technique: Tatami flip!

Yamazaki: No way...

Souma: Uoh.

Saito: Nn. That happened naturally [reword later...? tl is is basically "letting nature take its course was achieved"] .

Souma: Sa-Saito-san, that was amazing! You actually succeeded in one go!

Saito: No, there's no guarantee that this will succeed every time. The accuracy and speed can be further improved upon.

Souma: Really, the Shinsengumi has assembled some amazing people. I can't fall behind and have to work even harder.

Saito: Ah , work hard. I am always willing to practise kenjutsu with you.

Yamazaki: Ah, but, to have it actually done it so easily, my confidence...

Saito: What is it, Yamazaki?

Yamazaki: No, I just feel that need to train a lot more. Let's improve together, Souma-kun.

Souma: Yes! Please look after me!

Souma Kazue, Kaji Yūki Saito Hajime, Toriumi Kōsuke Yamazaki Susumu, Suzuki Takayuki

-end-

sorry but this is the only souma thing i have scheduled for april.

also i wanted some Yamazaki content translated, but i unfortunately don’t remember if i ever found Yamazaki’s route from Yuugiroku 2... so I settled on translating what I hope is a certain complete chapter (as viewed via the extras menu) of Souji’s route with him in it... sorta. scheduled for july!

--------

image from suruga-ya

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki yuugiroku 3 #hakuoki drama cd #hakuoki drama translation #Saito Hajime #Yamazaki Susumu #souma kazue

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adamsvanrhijn · 4 years

Note

not to be very annoying, but do you happen to know any good books/resources about lgbt slang/identities in victorian/edwardian/etc england? (i mean, things such as lesbians calling each other "toms" and the like). don't worry if you don't know any, but i just figured i'd ask since this was kinda in your Area Of Interest so you might know some off the top of your head.

the not annoying at all but this is a more complex question than at first glance hahaha

TL;DR: there are many types of queer language / we have way more info about men, who have their own lexicon / this era is widely seen as the era in which the concept of identity is actually coming into play / books list at the end, scroll down til you reach bolded text if you don’t want my commentary.

so when you’re looking at mid 19th - interwar lgbt communities, whether in europe or the uk or the usa it doesn’t really matter bc this is quite universal, you’ve got at least three registers, for lack of an easier word:

how self-identified homosexual, inverted, queer, abnormal etc men (henceforth gay men) speak with each other

how self-identified “” women (henceforth lesbian women) speak with each other

interactions between these groups

these naturally intersect with other socioeconomic class factors.

back to england specifically:

despite legal considerations gay men have the most agency and ability to move around and therefore are more likely to interact with each other and form communities. so now you have additional registers:

upper middle / upper class

middle / lower middle / working class (more registers here but nobody asked me and i promise i will give you recs soon)

again, interactions between them

the latter category has limited applications; most of them have to do with prostitution or casual sex and tend to be about categorizing people in terms of what sex acts they participate in. (this is universally true of most forms of gay slang and/or their origins for obvious reasons) think locker room talk. OR, we’re looking at cross class relationships and how other people view members of cross class relationships. not to generalize bc there are other things than this but what is best documented here is the upper class pov of these interactions

for the first category there is much less slang & unique community language, when you look at letters and works of literature etc etc people are picking and choosing from both medical/psychiatric terminology, which is developing rapidly from the 1860s on, and like, classical works; you get a lot of alluding to things. artistic communities (bloomsbury group, natalie clifford barney’s harem in paris and what have you) meanwhile are sort of all over the map. but bc this isn’t Polite Society talk, most of the sources for this kind of language tend to be limited in scope. which is true for all subculture language really but like in this case, authors of the day who are writing what they know are we think giving a pretty accurate picture of what their actual communities were like... but it’s put through a filter for publication.

by the 20th century urban working class gay men in certain circles are using polari, a subcultural lexicon which came from mid/late 19th century theatre and music hall slang, which came from fairground cant, seafaring , labor slang, Yiddish, cockney, theatre slang, fishmarkets, French, Italian, underground crime rings literally i could go on and there’s lots of debate about this. it’s turn of the century when it comes to be used very widely within the gay community, and while its origins are in london it made it to other uk urban centres fairly quickly. this lasted well into the latter half of the 20th century and is the base for a lot of community slang today, which leads me to

lesbian women, who also used polari, albeit to a lesser extent. these were primarily lesbians who were also in the 3rd camp above - ones who are involved in the community and interacting w/ gay men regularly. (”straight women who work in theatre” is another category of woman polari speakers haha but performance slang went thru many changes and eventually things got p separate so you had fairground & theatre cant and gay subculture slang having similar roots but very distinct in usage)

for lesbian communities the same thing as w gay men applies for the upper classes just to a lesser degree due to the relative lack of a community experienced by women

but a very important point here is that, ESPECIALLY during the victorian period, less so moving into the 20th century, intimate relationships between women are viewed very, very differently than those between men - male relationships have hard and fast boundaries of what is and isnt acceptable, those of women do not.

the development of identity w/ sexuality for women i think in many ways had a lot more to do with women who expressed their gender differently than women who had intimate exclusive relationships w/ other women

anyway the point is there unfortunately is no like comprehensive text for All Queer Language at this point in time, nor for the development of sexual identity, and the nature of this field (linguistics + history + sociology about queer stuff) means that a lot of the good work is in academic articles which i do NOT know off the top of my head. :-( but here’s some stuff !!

LIST OF THE ACTUAL BOOKS SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT

ok so these are all nonfiction, mostly academic nonfiction, but i want to stress that contemporary literature is a REALLY good way to get a (often rose tinted but not always) look into subculture and there are many novels that play with and/or poke at the ongoing development of sexual identity, especially in edwardia, especially especially in the 1920s, so if youve got endless time to read on your hands it is absolutely worth poking around there.

i have a list in the works of 1920s literature that has lgbt stuff in it and i realise thats a bit late for you but even so!!

also: compilations of letters, memoirs, etc are like super super invaluable

anyway ive bolded the most important ones:

Kosofsky Sedgwick, Eve. Epistemology of the Closet. 1990. University of California Press. [required lgbt theory reading, literally the foundation for soooo much]

Marcus, Sharon. Between Women: Friendship, Desire, and Marriage in Victorian England. 2007. Princeton University Press.

Robb, Graham. Strangers: Homosexual Love in the Nineteenth Century. 2003. [this is like, functionally prerequisite reading for any gay male stuff for the 19th century & robb is an excellent popular historian who also has an actual academic background]

Rupp, Leila J. Sapphistries: A Global History of Love between Women. 2008. NYU Press.

Russett, Cynthia. Sexual Science: The Victorian Construction of Womanhood. 1989. Harvard University Press. [touches on things but is not About sexuality/identity]

these are both already on my downton abbey research list but they both discuss language thruout and identity very thoroughly:

Brady, Sean. Masculinity and Male Homosexuality in Britain, 1861-1913. 2005. Palgrave Macmillan.

David, Hugh. On Queer Street: A Social History of British Homosexuality 1895-1995. 1997. HarperCollins.

for polari, see basically everything paul baker’s done. the 2019 might be the most accessible but i havent read it yet:

Baker, Paul. Fantabulosa: A dictionary of Polari & gay slang. 2002. London: Continuum.

Baker, Paul. Polari: The Lost Language of Gay Men (Routledge Studies in Linguistics). 2002. London: Routledge.

Baker, Paul. Fantabulosa! The Story of Polari, Britain’s Secret Gay Language. 2019. London: Reaktion.

while it predates the era youre asking about, this book is good reading that leads up to the changes of the victorian era in sexual morality & how that affects identity and language:

Donoghue, Emma. Passions Between Women: British Lesbian Culture 1668–1801. 1995. HarperCollins.

also i hate to do this but like. foucault lol. obviously not focused on britain but very much focused on the development of identity and sexuality.

ive been working on this for like three straight hours im gonna go eat lunch now

#da resources #community culture tag

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theunconcernedembalmer · 3 years

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what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships.

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative.

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear.

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me.

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

#mun rambles #its me the mun #unconcerned ramblings #posting this now cos this is a question ive been getting #although this has been worded in the most unnecessarily passive aggressive way possible that i do not appreciate #im wary about all u so called social justice warriors championing this n that liberal idea when all u want to do is stir shit #thankfully i dont have much experience with this but just passively seeing all these ppl run their mouths is getting very annoying #but just know that i will not tolerate any of that bullshit here. because if u really do care about ppl as much as u say u do #then why r u attacking ppl period #ur really just hiding behind a righteous excuse to harm people. thats disgusting. i dont want u here

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juni-ravenhall · 3 years

Text

reactions (mild spoilers!) on sso comic song of darkness

bc i read it before bed. this is a mix of random reactions + commentary/criticism. no pics sry! under cut bc spoilers, but i dont spoil the story itself, just some content -

- the pages at the intro with character information for some reason made me feel really nostalgic and happy, like, “wow this is a real comic” idk its hard to explain. it reminded me of reading stuff like W.I.T.C.H. as a kid (ive read a billion comics in my life but i compare to this bc its closer in general vibe)

- anyway wow sso comics. on paper. wow (yeah i have clouds over silverglade but that was a while ago)

- hhehehehehhe south hoofers and raptor in the bg!!!!!! after this panel i kept looking at the bgs for other cameos kjhdsfg

- i can tell the swedish translation is... a bit... meh. like, yeah this is standard, especially today’s standard, but it could be smoother and more natural, which would make it more fun to read (and supportive of the language in the country where sso was made like? idk...)

- AVALON?? U HAVE A FACE??? he looks way more like evergray than i’d have thought though, youd have imagined he wouldnt want to style himself similar to him lol

- its a bit depressing how even tho this comic tries to express everyone’s personalities, lisa still barely feels like she has a personality. she can sing! ok... and... we’re wating... what else? (there are plenty of “boring” people irl, but in media you usually want to exaggerrate or simplify things a little bit) the current lisa seems like she could have more anxiety/depression in her narrative, the old lisa looked like she was tough in a different way than alex, both of those are things that could be pushed. or anything else.

- my only like, “art related criticism”, also relates to the above - i think more work could be done in using individually unique expressions. im generally not a person who agrees with the idea of “same face syndrome” (often its a stylistic choice which is fair) but i think here it could be a good idea to work a bit more with various expressions - you can have charas who would almost never make huge shocked eyes for personality reasons, charas who always have a very obvious expression (alex does have this a lot in this comic!), charas who always look annoyed or frustrated or scared alongside whatever new emotion they get, etc. just very simplified description bc im already rambling. but basically, letting all charas emote in a similar way also removes layers of personality expression.

- it’s cool that kora is in here!! love to see many known charas!! not rly interested in random new charas since sso already has a ton to work with

- was a bit surprised when they said “mistfall, so youre a long way from home?” to kora when they.. were riding to firgrove from valedale? i could have understood this if they were in like epona or golden hills.. but firgrove?? shes specifically not a long way from home? confused

- i do like that the horses’ personalities get expressed, altho it does feel a bit shoved in, it’s still nice to see them. many of us are here bc of loving horses after all, and this comic delivers in featuring them a lot, even if they dont talk. i get that theres a level of “explaining everything to newbies” in this whole comic, even though i could wish that wouldve been done less blatantly. (kids arent dumb!)

- i do kinda wish the overall story hadn’t been a standalone random thing but something more tied to what we have, exploring parts of the story & charas in sso in more detail, BUT, i think thats a valid direction to go with comics and its more just a personal preference for me. i would anytime take more sso comics that are standalone random stuff than to not have sso comics at all.

- it seems like the reason concorde is an alive adult in this comic, is bc its an AU where concorde “almost died” but didnt, if i understood it right (they just said “she almost lost concorde”). i think thats a bit weird BUT valid, its ok to have differences in canon between different media of the same story, it tends to be like that between books and movies for example. however personally i wouldve preferred to see comics that explore, for example, the 2 years (?) between SSL and SSO, or each soul rider’s life history in general until now, or exploring in more depth events that happen in the main storyline (in sso or ssl which counts as backstory to sso)

- there were times i committed small giggle during this comic even as an adult man, tho arguably a childish adult man, but just to say that it was enjoyable, and overall i thought it was really exciting and fun to read a full sso comic book, and i hope to see a lot more (even if i’d prefer stuff like what i described - more exploration of existing story/charas). like i said at the beginning, i also got good nostalgic feels etc. i feel a bit sad now that its “over”, i wish i could have a whole pile of volumes to read for the rest of the summer.

(when i criticise something, it means i care enough about it to criticise it! i tend to criticise stuff i love - aka sso - way more than stuff i have no interest in or dislike, which i just dont talk about much bc that would be a waste of time.)

#sso #spoilers #mörkrets sång #song of darkness

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the-kipsabian · 2 years

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wrestling asks: 1, 2, 5, 13, 14, 16, 19, 24, 26, 27, 28, 30, 37, 39 ~

1. favorite current male wrestler im trying to think who ive been flipping my shit over the most recently, but yeah i think we have to go with trent. youve heard me literally cry over him the past few days and while yeah theres a lot of names up there with him, currently i think i can name him my number one. greg just makes me very weak fucking fight me

(rest is under a read more cause man there ended up being a lot of things lol)

2. favorite current female wrestler god this one is. so much harder tbh. i love so many girls but i also dont know if ive really ever picked any faves from the current rosters. tho now that i think about it, i might just have to give it to deonna purrazzo? shes amazing and watching her recently has been an absolute treat, god what a queen

5. favorite tag team why would you do this to me. how am i supposed to choose. my brain is fighting over so many rn but i think. it has to go to breezango? theyve been so entertaining since the very beginning and i still very dearly love these bois, they are talented as hell and deserved so much better than what they were given tbh

13. the best looking diva female superstar i can answer this one again since theres a many lol (i say and immediately my brain locks up as i cant think of anyone LOL)

buuuut lets do zelina. cause she makes me gay and shes tiny and just. helluva cute. fight me. also a literal queen so hell yes we stan

14. the best looking superstar uuuUUUH. fuck do i need to pick another one LOL

lets go to the other end of the spectrum, kip sabian! hes cute, i love his hair, his smile could destroy me for days, CROP TOPS and. i dont mean to objectify but dat ass tho

16. the best gimmick i already talked about seth so lemme bounce around a bit and mention mjf

not only is he better than you (and you know it). but he takes that to such extremes its amazing and hilarious at the same time. hes so over the top it works perfectly for him, and how he keeps the kayfabe going outside the ring too is fucking fantastic. hell he literally puts his own parents on blast on social media sometimes its fucking wonderful. he absolutely owns that shit, despite not being like the top guy of the company or even having held any titles recently, but there he just goes - being better than anyone else cause fuck you thats why. its fucking amazing i tell you lol

19. the best mic worker god theres. probably like ten million people i could mention in this one lol. im just trying to think who i love listen to speak honestly, but im trying not to be biased to my. other tastes lol (looking at you jay, i love your accent but my god it gets hot in here when you get angy and that doesnt work for this one LOL)

..you know what i think i gotta give this to cm punk. thats kinda outside the box for me but its also a very obvious answer, cause this man is very good tho. the way he speaks speaks volume and the way he talks is high key just mesmerizing. you just gotta listen to every word he says whether you like it or not. and im not even talking about the legendary promos rn, but just in general. this man is a god on the mic honestly

24. which wrestler would you like to see make a return? oh my god.. well i mean. define a return tbh. if we're talking about ppl that have retired officially, im heavily leaning towards aj lee tbh cause man i miss her in the ring.

if we're talking about just someone that hasnt been in the ring for a while due to, well you know, company bullshit releases. definitely breezango. i know dango is active but i havent seen him in anything cause im too lazy to try to look for stuff, but breeze hasnt done anything and im like. pls my boi come back i miss you and your precious face and in-ring abilities :(

(..also do kip and trent count for this like they are both out with injuries and i miss them both dearly i need my dumb bois back on screen pls)

26. one unpopular opinion of yours. ..impact is the best wrestling there is on television right now. dont even fucking @ me you know im right LOL

27. who do you consider underrated? ..how much can i repeat myself if i say kip sabian? man is hella talented, absolutely unrecognized about it, and he deserves the world. also a huge ass sweetheart and im just ugh. pls return soon kip ive seen your 'underrated and over it' stuff i need you back to kick ass soon plEASE

28. what about an over-rated wrestler? how many toes am i ready to step on is the question LOL. im gonna take the easy way out on this and just say charlotte, i never really got behind her hype and while im not denying her talent or anything, i just think theres more deserving girls in the roster that could easily take her place and at least slow down her title reigns cause man. i get it live up to the dad hype cause you brother couldnt but holy shit creative calm the fuck down okay

30. you get to make your own stable. who would it consist of? what is their name? listen i think we already know im bad at names so im just completely gonna sidestep that one LOL. also im taking this question as like. who would i put in a stable together, and not as who i would be in a stable together with, so lets roll with that lol

..tho ive been sitting on this for fucking ten minutes now and my brain is completely empty. get back to me about this at some point maybe i'll eventually have an answer for you lol

37. if you were on the original nxt who would you choose as your pro? are we only including ppl in that timeframe or can i pick whoever i want? cause if its whoever, its sami zayn. he has a style i adore, i feel like that would include some really fun on-camera chemistry, and he would either just enjoy being there or make it into a very dramatic "reality tv" which would also be fucking hilarious. also its sami, its a really good chance to actually learn something really valuable even tho this isnt like. probably actually couching and shit but you know. i'd never miss that chance tho

39. what is your best wrestling related memory? can i name three? cause i think i have three lol 1. when i introduced this interest to my wife like last year. im very selfconcious when it comes to telling ppl about my interests that are kinda out there, cause ive been dealing with a lot of shit that comes with it for a loooong time tbh, but its a huge part of me and shes my best irl friend and i was like. im gonna do it she can judge me all she wants. and she got SO into it and was super excited that i shared this with her and we watched a whole lot of stuff that weekend and everything was super great. god i love her

2. my first ever live show. so wwe took like a ten year break between coming to finland, and then they decided to show up again in 2019. now me and my brother are both adults compared to the last time they were here, we were both making our own income and were like FUCK IT LETS GO. and thus we ended up in our first ever live show. i still fucking tear up thinking that oh my god i saw all these peeps live. i was one of the few people (there was like. four of us, me and my brother and some kiddos across the arena) chanting 'sami zayn sucks' which is still one of my fondest memories ngl LOL. such an emotional and amazing night, would do again in a heartbeat and i dont even watch this company anymore lol

and 3. those two nights we watched battle in the valley with @ss-trashboat (feels high key weird to tag you in this since you asked this LOL). the first night the whole karl thing happened and i fucking lost my mind, you literally heard me cry on voice. and the second night just. as a whole. seeing buddy again after months since his release, you freaking out over will, just juice, both of us losing it over jay. and being sleep deprived to hell and back on both nights cause lol timezones and just man. i love wrestling and i love you so much this whole thing honestly meant so much to me im ah <33

wrestling asks ~

#ss-trashboat #thank you for asking! <3 #have i rambled enough am i now free lol #also putting this under read more cause theres. a lot. sorry not sorry woo

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