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#is there a secret third thing? like is there a way to not take a side but to still HAVE ideals and opinions?
chongoblog · 1 day
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HOW TO READ BINARY MESSAGES
Hey there all you gamers out there! Have you ever seen a bunch of ones and zeroes in a television show and wondered "Huh. I wonder if this binary here is some sort of Secret Code?" and instead of googling it, you wanted to try to figure it out yourself? Well I know how to do that, and people always go "WHOA" when I tell them that, and I figured I would teach you all as well!
Now just a warning ahead of time, translating binary yourself will take some time and require a little bit of math, so don't say I didn't warn you.
So let's take a binary string like this frame from the Gravity Falls episode "Soos and The Real Girl" (which, spoilers, IS a secret message)
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So the first thing you're gonna want to do is divide the binary into groups of 8. If it is a secret message, then each group of 8 bits will represent as ASCII value (or, for the sake of this explanation, letters). So let's divide them up.
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That gives us: 01010011, 01010000, 01000001, 01000011, 01000101, 01001010, 01000001, 01001101, 01010100, 01010111, and 01001111. Now, you might have noticed that all of these binary strings have something in common. They all start with "010"! That's gonna be your first tell that you've got a secret message on your hands. Every letter in ASCII starts with either 010 or 011 for lowercase letters. So if you see the groups don't start with either of those, then it's just random gibberish binary that someone just keysmashed 1 and 0 for. So now we know we have a message, so we can begin translating. And to show off how that works, we're going to translate the first set together!
The way binary works is that each digit from the right to the left represents a power of 2. The farthest right digit represents 1. The second to last digit represents 2. The third to last digit is 4. Then 8. Then 16. When reading more complex binary stuff, you go further than that, but for reading ASCII letters, we only use 5 digits. For each of those digits, if the digit is 1, then you add the value that the digit represents. If it's 0, then you don't. From there, you add up the numbers you've got, and then run the sum through the handy dandy a1z26 cipher (A = 1, B = 2, C = 3, and so on)
So again, let's have a look at that first string: 01010011
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And there you go! Now you just need to repeat this for every letter! It sounds harrowing at first, but over time you get the hang of it to the point where you can do it in your head. Feel free to give is a shot yourself and decode the rest of the message from the Gravity Falls episode
Now obviously there are a few exceptions. For example if you have a number or punctuation it will start with "001", and from there translating a number from 0 to 9 is easy since it's the same thing but without the A1Z26 cipher, but with punctuation you have to remember specific values, which is a pain in the ass, but if you're translating a decoded message, you don't really need to know the punctuation.
And that should do it! Hope you enjoyed this little explanation.
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tencrushesperday · 3 days
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Blood runs thicker than water
pairing : matt rempe x hughes!reader
warnings : angst, and some description of bruises, sort of forbidden lovers, 1k
a/n : instead of studying for my exams next week i do this, i was listening to The water is fine by Chloe Ament and felt inspired
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You wanted to stay until the end of the match. You wanted to congratulate your brothers on the win. You wanted to party with the team after such a huge win against their rivals.
But the blood was pounding in your ears and you didn’t know what to do with your hands. The crowd was so loud. Jack’s last conquest and Bratt’s girlfriend were chatting next to you. Yet you were feigning interest in the game to ignore them. Even though you could barely focus your sight.
Luke had gotten into an unnecessary fight during second period and Jack was right there to back him up. Both were okay. But the other guy wasn’t.
As soon as the second intermission started you excused yourself to the restroom then texted Nicole on your way to your car saying that suddenly you weren’t feeling good.
Fortunately, you’ve driven down this road so many times you didn’t have to focus to get home because suddenly you were in your apartment. You were on autopilot the whole time doing your night routine and then you were in your bed trying to fall asleep.
Sleep wouldn’t come. Every time you closed your eyes you would see him taking hit after hit. Him struggling to get up. His bloody face.
Then you heard keys turning in the lock and the front door shutting. You got up from your bed and marched out of your room, ready to send one of your bothers home.
“Matt”, you stopped dead in your tracks right outside your bedroom door.
There he stood, in front of the entrance, cheeks bruised, lip cracked.
“I’m sorry”, he only managed to whisper it.
He wanted to say a thousand other things but everything was pointless and painful. Looking at you was painful. Nothing was more appropriate than “sorry”.
He was the one who hit first. Even though Luke asked for it. He chirped Matt’s girlfriend without even knowing it was his own sister and Matt couldn’t let it slide. He also couldn’t tell Luke the truth.
The truth being you weren’t even his girlfriend.
You were just hooking up, keeping it casual, secret.
He would have loved it, have it been any other girl.
But he was so desperately in love with you. He wanted to hold your hand and take you on dates and have you cheering on him at his game. He loved waking up next to you and the casual evenings you spent at each other’s apartments, watching a movie, cooking together and telling each other about your days. He loved when you talked about hockey and he would promise you to take you play again, like when you used to do when you were younger. He even loved the stupid reels and tiktok’s you would send him in the morning on your commute to work because then he knew that you thought about him.
However, it has never gotten out of your apartments. His promise to take you to the rink to play hockey together was never fulfilled.
That he hated.
You kept looking at him. You couldn’t sleep because you kept seeing him getting hurt. But now that he was actually in front of you and even in the dim light coming in from the street you could see the bruises.
Not breaking eye contact you get closer to him as he silently takes off his shoes. He knows the rules in your home. He has a spare key. He knows you inside and out and he still can’t call you his and that’s worse than any hit from your brother, he thinks to himself.
“You left before third period.” He wants to wrap his arms around you and feel the warmth of your body to forget the cold of the ice.
You look at him before taking his hand and leading him to the kitchen. “So did you.”
You drop his hand and reach for two glasses in your cupboard.
He watches your every movement and anticipates your every word. You’re too calm but he knows there’s a storm brewing inside of you. You always go quiet when you’re upset and feeling too much. He knows that growing up with three brothers toughened you up and that, even if you’re working on it, subconsciously you still think that showing emotion is a weakness. Still he awaits your next words and actions. You have him wrapped around your finger so tight he almost wants to laugh at his poor situation.
You turn on the tap and let the water running until it’s at the right temperature before filling up your glass.
Matt can’t wait anymore. His patience thins with every drop of water. It’s pouring out of the faucet and going down the drain.
He’s right behind you when you turn around. You wanted to ask him if he wants water but your words die in your throat. He looks even worse up close.
If you weren’t holding in your breath you would have sobbed at the sight.
Despair fills his eyes when you look up to him. He crashes his lips on yours and you can taste it right there.
You’re not mad he fought Luke. You know how it is on the ice, you know how Luke can be a little shit when chirping, you know how Matt can fly off the handle in such a situation.
You taste a metallic taste in your mouth as the slit on his lip cracks open at the fierceness with which he kissed you.
It doesn’t matter who he fought, he’s hurt and that’s what upsets you.
The metallic taste mixes with the saltiness of the tear that slid down your cheek. He catches the next one with the thumb that is caressing your skin, as he cradles your face.
Your fingers run through his hair. You can’t let him go. You tug him closer. You can’t tell your bothers. Not now. Every thought in your head contradicts the previous one. His other hand is wrapped around your whole body and pulls you impossible closer. You’re caught up in such a mess, one you made yourself.
But for tonight you’ll kiss Matt even harder. You’ll take care of his bruised lip. You’ll kiss the pain away.
Leaving the mess for tomorrow morning.
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dnd-smash-pass-vs · 10 hours
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Inevitable been thinking about how that one anon viewed Laios as a monsterfucker, and I think it made me realize the source of that confusion:
I think many monsterfuckers, and also many (dare I say most) monster devourers like Laios, both derive their desire from the same source: a latent wish for apoteratosis, the wish to become a monster.
Linguistic side note: apotheosis, becoming a god, breaks down to apo- (towards the end point), theo (god), -osis (turn noun into verb), so I swapped in the root for monster, hence apo- terato -osis. Side note over.
Monster devourers are a rather rare archetype in (mainstream) fiction, but they do exist. Those who seek to mimic or emulate the monster's power, those who find them endlessly fascinating and study them well past the point of obsession, those who wish to show their dominance over the monster by proving that they can kill and eat it... and I think Laios is the first I've seen who takes the title quite so literally, where his obsession goes straight to monsters-as-food.
Monsterfuckers, meanwhile wish to become close to the monster in a non destructive way (or at least a typically less destructive one, usually the only casualties are furniture and few bandages are needed, but I'll acknowledge that exceptions definitely exist). They wish to bond with it, to connect to it through lust or intimacy, to be able to stand at its side. They wish, on some level, to join it. Side note, I'm not saying this is true of all teratophiles, some are just kinky and driven by the thought of positive physical pleasure, or who find the personality of a given monster appealing, but I do think the apoteratotic desire is an underlying driver for many, I'd guess well more than half, it's just a subtle enough thing that I don't think most are consciously aware of it.
There's also a third point to the secret apoteratosis triangle that might surprise you: the monster slayer. Sure many, even most, slayers are driven by something like disgust or xenophobia or even rationality, but a significant minority land in the "if you can't join 'em, beat 'em" a.k.a. "I can't be you, so I'll destroy you" camp.
And these three reactions are, I notice, the three most common reactions that people have to one thing: the unattainable desire. The sentence begins "I cannot have it..." and these three camps end it different ways.
The teratophages say "so I shall dominate it." They seek what power they can grasp so they can have some modicum of control, so they can try to "have" it anyway. The kaiju corpse scavengers in Pacific Rim including refined and suave mob boss types just smacks of this attitude.
The teratophiles say "so I'll get as close as I can." There's a werewolf romance book where they're considering trying to turn the girlfriend, though they have no idea if she'll survive it (boyfriend was turned by accident then abandoned, so he's clueless, and they haven't found any others to teach them), and she says that she's fine remaining human, because she shares the power through him. "I have it, because you have it." The façade eventually breaks and in a vulnerable moment she confesses that she'd be willing to risk even a likely death to try to be turned. When they get in contact with an elder who can turn her safely she doesn't even wait a week.
The teratophobes write that whole sentence as "if I can't have it, then no one can." I'm sure everyone has seen enough examples of this behavior to understand that it's just a kind of love turned corrupt.
I'm not the first to notice the underlying apoteratotic urge: the aforementioned werewolf story, indeed many werewolf and vampire stories romanticize the transformation of a human into a monster. Back to Dungeon Meshi, author Ryōko Kui is fully aware of it with how Laios's underlying desire is eventually brought out of the subtext and explicitly named as his dysphoria with humanity, and his wishing that he could be a monster. For Laios that desire skipped right past the socially unacceptable monsterfucking, explicitly a form of bestiality in that world, to the socially acceptable devouring, though tempered by his respect and admiration of monsters into a desire for symbiosis with them. He cannot become one in truth (or so he thought when younger) but he could become part of their food web. It's as close as he thought he could get. Of course, that's the Watsonian explanation; the Doylist explanation is that Ryōko Kui wanted to subvert expectations, and also wanted to explore this angle of it.
So, all taken together, I think people read Laios as monsterfucker coded simply because teratophiles, teratophages, and teratophobes all share the same root motivation: apoteratosis. Thus, all three branches are coded very similarly.
It's similar to something I've seen in Batman fandom: some fans project romantic love between various members of the Batfamily, which is both wildly against canon and thoroughly hated by some other branches of fandom. But it is understandable, since familial love and romantic love both come from the same root, love of another. If someone doesn't recognize the simultaneous similarities and distinctions, it's all to easy to conflate them. If you don't actually understand the distinction, then the signs of affection between siblings might look the same as the signs of affection between lovers. Likewise, if you don't understand the distinction, the urge of the monster devourers (or ecologists) might look the same as the urge of the monster fucker.
I've sat on this for near a month, partially because of my repeated absences, partially because I wanted to honor it with an equally in-depth response. But 24 days later I've still got nothing, while I can't speak for that particular person I think in general you hit the nail right on the head for the base roots. I got no notes. Even with Laios...like all I can add is how supplemental materials actually confirm he did want to be a monster researcher but found books too dry, the only one who seemed to really *get* monsters was shunned. and how wild he goes when talking with an actual werewolf, "The existence I thought unobtainable is now right in front of me".
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hxlda-hxlda · 3 days
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sunday morning snippet!! it's 12AM so it counts for sunday!!
“My mum would have a fit,” Sirius said sort out of nowhere. 
He was listening, he was. But then his mind had half-drifted off, thinking of conversations at dinner tables where he was forced to wear the dress robes with the too-tight collars and well, okay, maybe Sirius had lost track of all of the words a little while ago. 
Remus stopped reading aloud immediately, looking up. “What?” he asked, lacking his usual irritation when interrupted. 
Remus wore a rarely open expression. One that drove Sirius to continue, saying something he otherwise might not have. Maybe if the sun was in a different position or if it was a Wednesday instead of a Saturday, or maybe if it was James instead of Remus, or maybe if it was two o’clock in the afternoon instead of five o’clock. Maybe if any single thing had been different Sirius might not have continued the thought, which pressed at his ribs with a steady ache — a bruise begging to be pressed. 
“Queers, poofs, whatever.” Sirius waved a hand dismissively. “My mother would throw a fit knowing we’re reading a novel by one of them.” 
Remus’ face remained as blank as ever, if not for the slight crease in his forehead. 
“She thinks they’re about as bad as mudbloods,” said Sirius, getting to his point after a bit more time had passed. That was about all there was to his point, but it felt significant for some reason. His heart was thundering loudly in his ears. Sirius wondered vaguely if Remus could hear it with his freaky hearing, then realised he probably could. 
“What about you?” Remus asked quickly, watching Sirius intensely. 
Sirius found looking at Remus to worsen the state of his rapidly beating heart as nervousness, or something, worked its way up his throat. Sirius swallowed, finding Lupin’s gaze too intense. He preferred the sight of his already half-picked thumbnail. He scraped at his thumb a bit more, swallowing again. 
“Well, y’know, I don’t think mudbloods are all that bad. Evans is alright when she takes the quill out of her arse for three seconds, I guess.” 
Sirius heard a snort of laughter that helped him relax his shoulders some. He continued speaking to his torn thumbnail.
“So… how right could she be about the rest of it, y’know what I mean?” Sirius said it quickly, as though it was a secret he wasn’t supposed to tell. It felt like a secret, in some odd way. 
He was met with a silence that immediately made his heart lurch again. He forced himself to glance up, just enough to catch Remus’ eyes. Shockingly, Sirius found that they’d softened. They were far less intense, and even the crease between his eyebrows had disappeared. He was looking all, well, soft. It was a funny sort of look for Remus, Sirius thought. It suited him, yes, but not in the way his usual stoicism did. 
“What?” Sirius asked after a while, feeling sheepish under the prolonged eye contact. 
“Nothin’,” Remus replied immediately. 
“No, no, what?” Sirius shuffled closer on the couch cushions, so close their knees were centermetres from touching. “You have to tell me now. You know how I get when you keep all your little secrets.” 
Remus huffed. “Insufferable,” he said with a shake of his head. 
“Exactly! Insufferable.” 
“This is classic manipulation, you know, threatening poor behaviour like this?” 
Sirius shrugged, quirking a smile. “Yes, well, I did have to learn some things from my mother, didn’t I?” 
Remus shook his head again, pretending not to laugh in that way he did. “I was just thinking,” he said after a beat. 
“About?” 
“About how you’re brilliant.” 
Sirius’ throat immediately felt thick. “What?” 
“Dunno.” Remus somehow managed to avoid and catch Sirius’ eyes simultaneously. They were caramel in the afternoon sun, his favourite kind of sun for Remus’ eyes. “Just… dunno how someone so awful made you. And– and you’re so good.” 
Sirius blinked rapidly, swallowing once then twice then a third time to try and rid himself of the lump in his throat. His cheeks burned, his throat, his eyes. He ducked his head. 
“Oh,” he said stupidly. And then, “You’re not so bad yourself, Lupin,” he coughed out, having to first compose himself enough to do so. 
“Shove off.” 
“Go on,” Sirius said, wiping at his eyes as surreptitiously as he could manage. “Read more of the book written by the poof. Maybe I’ll write a report for good ol’ Walburga.”
tagged by my abosolute darling @fiddleleafedfig ! it's a bit longer than a snippet, but i was scrolling through my docs for something and stumbled upon it. it was too cute not to use.
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liminalmemories21 · 3 days
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There’s a way that panic can make you feel nauseous, and he has to swallow hard before he can get the words out.  “Tell me what you need me to do.”
Trudie gives him an approving smile, like a teacher with a student who’s given the right answer.  “You’re going to help me steal a statue.”
The Knave of Clubs . . . swears he'll take her part
liner notes below the cut
First things first.  Yes, Iris is in this alot.  No, there is no secret marriage. This is not a spoiler, this was referenced in the previous story in this series. The Carlos in this universe is a step to the left of the Carlos in canon, and he has different experiences.  Also, this is my unhinged AU, which means I get to pick and choose which bits of canon I work with.   I did not vibe with that one.
Second things second.  This was going to be a caper, y'all.  It was going to be a short caper.  Carlos and TK were going to go to NOLA and help the Leverage crew take care of some business , and, I don't know, eat beignets and popsicles.  Why popsicles and not po'boys?  Because the last time I was in NOLA I had the best popsicles of my life - they sadly no longer exist, but I can resurrect them for fic.  I also had excellent po'boys, but the popsicles were better.
[eyes fic] I don't know what happened?  Okay, I do know.  One of the weird upsides to writing a series is that you get to deal in consequences and messy afters, and the way that making a decision isn't the end to that decision, and what you did last time around keeps echoing in what you do this time.  Nothing exists in isolation.  And, I love love a story about what happens after - after the war, after the quest, after the reveal.  How do you rebuild, what happens next.  That is my die-hard kink.  Also, there was S4 of Lonestar and I had . . . thoughts, questions, concerns, reactions.  I worked them out in fic.
Third things third.  My characterization of Trudie in this fic owes a debt to Mags Bennett in S2 of Justified.  She was terrifying, and ruthless, and totally in control, and one of the most interesting characters - she's why that season was so good.  Also, go watch Justified, it's fantastic.
Fourth things last.  As ever, don't try this at home y'all, this is not how any of this works.
Reference links in final chapter, because see previous notes about being too much of a geek not to footnote.
And finally, the chapters aren't for @rmd-writes, but they're not not for her either (sorry @freneticfloetry- but this time, the structure did actually lend itself to chapters).
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livingformintyoongi · 11 hours
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Misunderstanding | Kim Taehyung
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a/n: I'm so bad with titles lol. At least you get the idea a bit :). In one part it is mentioned that Y/N is not a public figure like Taehyung, even though she is a chaebol. This is because her family is somewhat like that of Samsung's owners, they keep their children's identities secret until they make their own place in the company.
Summary: It's basically your reaction to hearing about the dating rumours between Taehyung and Jennie while the two of you are still in a relationship. And obviously, he is trying to fix things as quickly as possible.
wc: 2.9k (I didn't think it would be so long honestly).
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When you started dating Taehyung, you never thought it would be a big problem. You knew that his schedule was complicated, but you didn't have any drama with that because yours was pretty much the same. You also knew that you wouldn't be a public couple because of the criticism you might get, but that was even better for you because you didn't like being in the public eye either. Problems on tour? Phones were there for a reason, not being able to have children? You were too young, can’t go out in public? Loved the cozy, private dates, little quality time together? Even better! Every moment with him would feel even more special because of how exclusive it was. Yes, you were willing to accept all these disadvantages because you never saw them as an insurmountable problem. At least until now.
You and Taehyung started dating in 2020, during the pandemic. You met him at the concert in cooperation with Lotte Duty Free, one of the companies your father founded, because yes, you were the youngest daughter of the Shin, the family in charge of the Lotte company and all its subsidiaries.
The two of you got along very well while preparing for the concert, so you decided to exchange numbers to keep in touch. It only took a few months before you started dating him officially, and you were very happy at first. 
His schedule was busy, of course, but he had time for you. He would greet you with a big smile, hug you from behind, and take you to the dining room where he had a whole show set up for you. Jazz in the background, scented candles, rose petals everywhere, and two plates of food of dubious origin that you would enjoy anyway because your boyfriend made it. 
You were willing to put up with all those cons if he gave you moments like this every chance he got, moments where it was just you and him. 
Once the pandemic was over and your schedule returned to normal, things got complicated.
And no, time, work, dating, none of that was the problem, because it didn't even have anything to do with you two as a couple.The problems were caused by a third person. Kim Jennie, one of the members of Blackpink and one of the most beautiful women you will ever meet.
You never had any problems with her. You had bumped into her once or twice in the hallway on your way backstage, but obviously she wouldn't recognize you, you were always covered from head to toe.You thought that your friend had the same relationship with her, something casual that couldn't even be called a friendship because you barely said hello to each other when you were together, in fact Taehyung never looked at anyone when he was with you.So why did this happen now?
Your boyfriend was on tour and it was the time of his concert, so you couldn't just call him and ask him about it. You looked at the screen of your cell phone for the sixth time, the headline in big, dark letters seemed to mock your feelings.
"Dispatch confirms, V of BTS and Jennie of Blackpink are in a relationship," you muttered to yourself, trying to get your brain to catch the words, to process them, to react. It didn't.
You scrolled down the page until you stopped at the myriad of photos they had as proof. None of them looked doctored. 
You saw the blue short-sleeved shirt with flowers that Taehyung was wearing in the photo and put your phone down to go to the closet you shared. You pulled out all of his clothes until you found it. You grabbed it and crumpled it in your hands. 
Only then did you burst into tears. You covered your eyes with your shirt and screamed until you felt your throat couldn't take it anymore. Your heart hurt so much that you even had trouble breathing. 
You looked around the room you both shared, trying to understand why he would do this to you. You thought you were fine, everything seemed fine, so why were there hundreds of videos and pictures of your boyfriend with another girl? You felt like all these people were making fun of you by being happy for them. What about you, why don't they think about his real girlfriend who had to put up with years of being locked away in secret while these two were fearlessly dating?
The sadness soon turned to anger, and it wasn't long before you got up and grabbed the biggest suitcase you could find, whether it was his or yours.
You stuffed it with as many clothes as you could, taking your time because you knew he wasn't coming. You lifted the suitcase as high as you could and carried it into the living room. You looked at every single picture of the two of you as a couple. Another few tears fell from your eyes and you let them out as you took the frames and threw them away. 
You threw out everything you could. Mugs, matching pajamas, pictures, rings, absolutely everything. When you were done, your eyes were dry and your head hurt too much, but you didn't care. You grabbed your suitcase and headed for the door.
The only thing that stopped you from leaving was Yeontan, who stood in the doorway, staring at you while wagging his tail from side to side.
"Tannie, mommy has to go do something, okay?" you nuzzled behind his ear and sobbed softly. You knew he wouldn't understand. "Don't worry, I'll visit you every day until your owner comes."
You stood up, took a breath, and walked away. You didn't know where you were going, but that apartment was no longer an option. 
You stood in front of the buildings where you lived and watched for taxis to pass by. Just then you received a phone call. For a moment you thought it would be Taehyung, but no, it was just Jimin's girlfriend, Soyeon, to whom you had become very close over the past years.
"Yes?" you mumbled hoarsely.
"Honey, it's me, Soyeonie," she said in a much calmer voice than usual. She was probably aware of your situation. "I read the news, are you okay?" You opened your mouth to reply, but she interrupted you so quickly that you didn't have time to say anything, "Of course you're not," she sighed, remaining silent for a few seconds, "Look, I know maybe I shouldn't pry, but I understand that you're hurting and the last thing you want is to be in a place full of... him."
You sob softly, wiping your cheeks as quickly as the first tears came.
"I haven't sold my old apartment yet, it has some furniture, enough to live decently, why don't you stay there for a few weeks?"
"Soyeon-ah," you cried, wanting to hug her until you fell asleep. That's what you needed, a long nap.
"Relax, everything’s gonna be okay, Unnie will come and see you there, I'll send you the address, just wait."
"Okay," you nodded, even though you knew she couldn't see you, "thanks."
"It's nothing."
And she hung up.
You looked around. It was full of cars and buildings that looked too big. 
You felt so stupid as you mentally wished that Taehyung was here to comfort you.
You saw a taxi coming your way and you made it stop. You weren't sure if this would be the end of your relationship, you were willing to hear his side, but you weren't willing to have to live with him or a place filled with his presence.
This was best for you.
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Taehyung called you the next day, about twenty times, not counting messages. You didn't answer any of them, mostly because you were asleep until 4 pm. You had a hard time falling asleep. Every time you closed your eyes, you could see the two of them holding hands, together in the car, on a date to some kind of zoo. You cried every time your brain projected those images.
Your phone rang for the 21st time. You were still a little groggy from sleep, but you answered it anyway.
"Y/N!" You turned the phone away from your ear. It was too painful to hear his voice so loud with the headache you were feeling, "Oh God, I was so afraid something bad had happened to you. I called the girls, but none of them knew anything about you, so I got worried and..."
"Why did you call me?" you asked curtly. You thought maybe you were being a little cruel, but you didn't care. Answering him like that wouldn't make him feel a thousandth of the pain you felt and still feel since last night.
He was silent for a few seconds. You'd never answered him like that before, you guessed that's why he was so quiet.
"I..." he cleared his throat, sounding a little more tense than when you answered him, "I was a little worried, my manager told me about the news and I thought maybe you were feeling a little depressed-".
You interrupted him again, but this time with a mocking laugh, "A little depressed? Is that how you think I felt? A little depressed?" you laughed again. You had completely woken up this time, "Tell me, Kim, how would you feel if overnight it was all over the news that I was dating an idol? Huh? What would you do if this news came to you on the fucking Dispatch, while I was on the other fucking side of the world enjoying a concert? Would you be a little depressed? A little hurt? Would you even have taken the fucking trouble to answer my calls?" you began to raise your voice with every word you said. You didn't even notice at what point your voice broke. "You have no idea what I'm going through, and you never will, because unlike you I'm not a public figure! I could be fucking any man in Korea and you're never going to see an internet media outlet post it and 'celebrate' my relationship, you're never going to see any fan of mine go on social media and celebrate my relationship with someone else while you're behind the curtains" You sobbed, wiping your cheeks awkwardly.
"Honey, I know it's-"
"Don't you dare call me like that" you growled, clenching your jaw, "I don't even want to hear you say my name, do you understand?"
"Y/N" he muttered, his voice trembling. You assumed that at some point in your verbal vomit he had started to cry, "Just give me 1 minute, I'll explain everything, I promise."
You tried to control your anger by taking a big breath of air, it worked enough to stop you from sending him to fuck off... for the second time.
"Do you want me to listen to you?" you mumble, looking down at your hands, remembering all the times he came home late, wondering if all those times he was at her house, doing god knows what while you tried to stay awake just to see him before bed. 
"Y-yes, please, I just need a minute".
"Fine," you smiled half-heartedly, "then come and explain it to me in person. If you're really sorry and say it's a misunderstanding, come here and tell me."
Your more conscientious side chided you for your request. It was his job, you couldn't just order him to make a trip from the United States to Korea just for you. Maybe that's why you gave him that condition. You knew he wouldn't come all this way just for you.
The line went silent, you could barely hear his breathing. You ended your conversation.
"I thought so," muttering much calmer than at the beginning, "I guess Soyeon was right in saying that the only one who would have to make sacrifices for our relationship would be me."
And you cut the call short.
You put your phone on airplane mode and plopped down on your bed, ready to go back to sleep for the rest of the weekend.
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It had been a day since you heard the news, barely 17 hours since you last spoke to Taehyung, because yes, you counted the hours. You hadn't eaten anything, you'd barely had a glass of water, and the only thing you felt like doing right now was taking a very long shower and then crying yourself to sleep. Yes, it sounded like the perfect plan to try to get over your ex, if that's what you could call it.
You got in the tub at 10am, didn't get out until 12:30, and when you did you could barely feel your fingers and toes. At least your muscles had finally relaxed.
You dressed more slowly than usual, in just your pajamas, the only ones that weren't your partner's, and went to bed.
Until the doorbell rang.
You changed direction, confused. You were sure that no one besides Soyeon knew you were here. It crossed your mind that maybe she was worried about you and that's why you'd decided to open up and politely turn her away.
Except she wasn't the one waiting for you on the other side.
"Y/N," Taehyung said, trying to regulate his breathing. "You really were here," he whispered, entering the flat and closing behind him. It wasn't until the door rattled that his arms wrapped around you so tightly that you almost stopped breathing. "Why did you leave home? I got so worried when I saw our stuff in the trash and the wardrobe almost empty" he cupped your cheeks, inspecting your face.
You didn't understand what exactly was going on.
"What are you doing here?" you mumbled, letting him search your face. 
"You told me to come" he looked into your eyes and, almost instantly, his eyes began to fill with tears. "I couldn't let you because a misunderstanding made you hate me to the point of breaking up with me, I... I don't want to be without you, at this point I don't think I can be," he bent down until he could place his forehead against yours, his thumbs caressing the skin of your cheeks, "You're the best thing that ever happened to me, I don't plan on losing you over something stupid like this."
You looked at Taehyung, still not understanding what he was trying to say. 
"The pictures are real" he exhaled deeply, "but it's not like you think" he pulled his phone out of his trousers pocket. His hands were shaking slightly. You wanted to hold them, but you completely erased the thought, "We dated for a few months, it was a very short thing, about two or three months before we met".
He showed you some conversations from a few years ago. He was asking her to bring him the shoes he had left at her house last time, and that he would appreciate it if she would bring the leash they had bought Yeontan. You also saw the last messages they sent to each other, it was only a few days ago.
Jennie told him that someone had hacked into her phone and most likely found the pictures they took the time they went to the zoo. She apologized and sent him stickers of crying puppies, saying that the lawsuit against the hacker had already started and that she would try to speed up the process so that he wouldn't be affected. 
"I totally understand how angry you were, and obviously I also understand that you want to talk about this face-to-face, so I took the first flight I could find so I could come talk to you and-".
You didn't let him finish. You couldn't do that, not after everything you've been feeling the last few days. So you did the only thing you could think of since he came into the flat. You kissed him.
It was much more awkward than your kisses usually are, but you didn't care. You were so relieved that it was all a misunderstanding that no matter what kind of kiss it was, it would still be amazing to you.
He followed your kiss as soon as he came out of his surprise. He clung to you as if his life depended on it. He was the one who deepened the kiss and lifted you off the floor so he could kiss you better.
"I'm so sorry" you whispered in the middle of the messy kisses he was giving you, "sorry for doubting you" you sobbed softly, hugging his neck with all your strength.
He shook his head, holding your cheeks, "Don't apologise, it was a normal reaction, you said it yourself, I wouldn't have even answered your calls if I had been in your place" he kissed your shoulder softly, letting out a soft sigh. It felt so good to have you with him after all the tension he experienced during the flight.
"You were right about everything you said" he murmured, pulling away enough to look you in the eye, "so please don't apologize to me".
You nodded a little calmer, closing your eyes as you felt Taehyung's nose on yours.
"Now let's go get your things, I don't want to go back inside the house and not see your things in it."
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Masterlist.
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quillkiller · 18 hours
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pleasepleaseplease elaborate on bartylus as orpheus and eurydice variants please if you want
mil!!!!! you sent this to me 2 minutes before my shift started….. i was losing my mind…. they’ve been in my head ever since…. i just got home thank god !!!!!!
anyway. so i have this au/wip which is loosly (very loose!!) based on the eurydice and orpheus myth but also set in canon. i have a tag for it ’fic: don’t look back’ <3
here’s a little snippet:
”Barty,”
It comes out as a breath, as an exhale— but it almost shatters him. If he wasn’t on his knees already he knows they would buckle. Knows he would fall down at Regulus’ feet. He almost looks.
so regulus still goes to the cave, and he still dies. he doesn’t go out of the kindness of his heart, but because he’s tired and he did it all wrong and he can’t win and he just wants it to be over. he goes because he misses his brother and he wants his brother to live. he doesn’t care about the rest of it, the war, the two sides, voldy or dumbledore or the prophecy. he wants out and he’ll never get his brother back so he’ll do this one thing to (hopefully) save his brother even if sirius will never know <3 after that he’s done. he goes to the cave knowing he’s going to die and he wants to. he yearns for the dark and the quiet !!!! he’s 17 and he thinks he’s lived way too long and he just wants out now
he leaves barty a letter. it’s vague but barty figures it out. they spend one last night together because regulus is selfish and greedy and want him just one more night. they used to fumble around back at hogwarts. they were each others firsts and they trusted each other but they were never together. not actually. just stumbling into each others beds, shakey hand jobs, clumsy blowjobs, sloppy kisses. they didnt really talk about it either but not in an awkward way, they just didnt really need to. it was about comfort and love and boyhood and fear and safety and they’re just. so special to me. not dating, not best friends, but a secret third thing. just so completely intertwined but so different from each other.
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- virginia woolf. this is the bartylus dynamic to me. like. everything was awful, their homes, their circumstances, their surroundings, their expecations. but they were also just boys. everythings awful but sometimes they’d sit in the slytherin common room and they’d make each other laugh. sirius left but barty is waiting for him at kings cross with a grin :,)
anyway. it all sort of stopped after they both took the dark mark. they still had each others backs and they’re always best friends and intertwined!! but i guess there’s just too much else to think about now ahdhdjajfjkd. but reg comes to barty the night before he leaves for the cave and they properly spend the night together. its messy and miserable and lovely and it feels like a goodbye. reg leaves before barty wakes up the next morning.
barty!!!!!!!! goes mad. mad with regret and anger and desperation and love and hatred and every other emotion under the sun. he wants him back and he will get him back. barty is smart, was top of his class, is a quick learner in all things magic. i don’t know how long it takes, if its months or years, but barty is on a rampage and he’s seeing red and he’s not sleeping and he’s not at all himself. he sees reg as a ghost, talks to him, he’s haunted. he aquires several forbidden books from shady sources about magic that has long since been banned. he will bring regulus back if it’s the last thing he does. eventually he finds either a spell or some magic ritual (haven’t figured it out yet) that existed back in the 1700s but has been banned almost immediately due to people just. coming back wrong. miserable and wailing. barty’s not seeing that though. he’s just seeing that he can bring him back. so he learns everything there is to know about the spell/ritual and then sets out to go to the cave. months or years later, i still haven’t decided. i think it would be a little sexy if it was a couple years after reg died.
that’s where the eurydice & orpheus myth comes in. basically barty isn’t allowed to look at regulus until they both get out of the place where he died. but it also differs because regulus so desperately wants him to look. regulus is miserable when he’s brought back. miserable and young and confused and angry.
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by paul tran is and always will be rab when he enters the cave!!
so reg is trying to seduce barty to please look at him. please look at me. and barty wants to more than anything. the first time he finally takes a breath since regs death is when he finally brings him back. the relief overwhelming. and it lasts for 0.01 seconds because regulus doesn’t want to live. he’s so angry and he’s sobbing and wants to go back. but barty doesn’t want him to. and he’s telling regulus it’s going to be okay and they’ll be okay and he’ll protect him and take care of him. but regulus doesn’t care. and barty is desperate:/
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sadly barty is greedy. and weak. and it’s been years and it’s desperate and he can’t remember the shade of blueish gray regs eyes were. and regs pleading hurts. and barty just wants him. he just wants him and wants to keep him and he was never ready to lose him and he isn’t ready now. but it all boils down to the fact that barty is equally impulsive as he is strategic. he spent years (?) trying to figure out a way to being regulus back and more of his friends died during that time. he’s done what he set out to do. so he looks. because reg is asking him to and because barty isn’t strong enough not to look at what he wants
and yeah.
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whats hollyleaf like in your au?
I'm gonna be completely transparent. With all the talk about canon!her recently, I'm terrified of talking about WCR!Her. But, screw it. Let's be brave!
Hollyleaf
Well, let's start with the basics! Hollyleaf is a large, long-legged, pure black molly with a rip in her ear post-OOTS, long, soft fur, a big bushy tail, and pale green eyes.
Yes, Post-OOTS. Hollyleaf manages to survive the Great Battle when Dovewing slams her full weight into Thistleclaw, who is attacking Ivypool for being a 'traitor'. Since she isn't attacked by a Dark Forest cat the way she was, she makes it through the battle.
Hollykit is born to Leafpool and Crowfeather, and given to Squirrelflight and an unknowing Brambleclaw to raise alongside her 2 brother, Lionkit and Jaykit.
From an early age, she is inspired by her father and wishes to be the best cat she can be for Thunderclan.
She is initially ambitious about being a Medicine Cat, with the freedoms and power the position easily applies to its holder. She and Lionpaw are both assigned to Leafpool, but with Hollypaw being squeamish and Lionpaw being... Lionpaw... They're both reassigned. Lionpaw is assigned to Brightheart, and Hollypaw is assigned to Ashfur...
Ashfur is an AWFUL mentor. He constantly berates Hollypaw, drilling Starclan and The Warrior Code until her as hard as he can. When things come down to it, I'm not sure if Hollypaw fights him or Lionpaw steps in to try and help his sister, only leading to that horrible fight... But I know that no matter what happens, Brambleclaw STILL fails to see the real problem, and Hollypaw STILL takes guilt on board and begins to obsess over being a "thinker", a politician, someone who will fix a problem, no matter the cost.
When Swallowkit, Thistlekit and Sedgekit go missing in the tunnels, Hollypaw, Lionpaw, Jaypaw, Heatherpaw and Breezepaw go through said tunnels to find them. However, there is now a twist to it. Lionpaw tries to keep things a secret, and Jaypaw has doubts that kittens would go into such an eerie place, but Hollypaw?
Hollypaw can hear them. She can hear a lot more than she wants to, and she can't control it.
Hollyleaf! Third cat of the Prophecy! The Clairvoyant, capable of hearing and sensing things over a great distance. Lionblaze's eyes turn red, Jayfeather's turn silver, Dovewing's turn blue, and Hollyleaf's eyes turn a bright amber... The same colour as Leafpool's.
She has the hearing power until her mental breakdown, where she begs Starclan to take it away from her and give it to a "better cat". Starclan picked Dovekit, and swapped her would-be power. The ability to sense disaster. For any Pokemon fans, think Absol. Can sense when a disaster is about to strike. Time stops, just for a moment, and she can sense what is about to happen. When she controls this, it can give her a major advantagetk strategically think about her move, but she'll have to do it quickly. You can feel when something will happen. This doesn't mean you can prevent it. Hollyleaf is no longer The Clairvoyant, the title goes to Dovewing. Hollyleaf is The Sighted.
Before this happens though, she goes back into the Tunnels to hone her power, making friends with Fallen Leaves and getting close with the ghostly trans molly. She connects with Fallen Leaves and the two care deeply for one another. At first Fallen Leaves is apprehensive, it's been so long since she's had a real connection with anyone, and Hollyleaf could just leave... But when Hollyleaf gives her reassurance that she will always come back, and that she really does care, it allows Fallen Leaves to not only get closer to the entrance of the tunnels, but to begin aging alongside Hollypaw/Hollyleaf. Finally beginning to not only accept her death, but heal from the traumatic experience of it.
She stays in Thunderclan after the reveal and her murder of Ashfur, but her mental state is frail and all eyes are on her, she suffers hallucinations, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts... She is given Dovepaw to mentor, the kid who Starclan gave Hollyleaf's power to. Hollyleaf does her absolute best to support Dovewing, and she's doing a better job than Lionblaze is, especially as he is now Ivypaw's mentor.
Hollyleaf and Dovepaw go on the Beaver Journey together, and from that point on it solidifies Dovepaw's place as the 4th Prophecy cat.
She and The Three work together, gathering information on Starclan and The Place of No Stars, while also trying to get through life in a time of heavy political unrest. Ivypaw and other Dark Forest trainees are manipulating political figures into battle.
Hollyleaf had no idea how bad things were getting for Ivypaw, how deeply she was falling into a trap. She ripped into Lionblaze, who had been neglecting his apprentice a bit to focus on Prophecy work. If she could do it and still be a mentor, so could he.
Hollyleaf is kinda popular in Thunderclan, her attitude mellows throughout OOTS as she learns to be a member of her community rather than a servant of Starclan.
It starts with the new Novella-turned-Super-Edition; Hollyleaf's Nightmare. Hollyleaf is in a small, safe tunnel with Fallen Leaves after losing her overstimulating hearing power. Only a single day later. They head deeper into a tunnel, when Hollyleaf suddenly gets sleepy. Fallen Leaves promises she'll wake Hollyleaf up.
"I will wake you up when you've snored 100 times!"
"Thanks, Fall, I.... Wait a minute, I don't snore!"
"Hollyleaf. You could wake the dead."
So she has a nap, and during this time, her new disaster power is about to come through... but... The Tunnels are not a place that is easy for any spirit to reach. Starclan or Beyond.
Hollyleaf dreams about a swirling misty field, but it's cold, and gray. There are no signs of life aside with the tiny plants that seem to struggle in the thick, heavy air... She steps through, only to no-clip fall through the ground and into The Dark Forest, where she is quickly ushered by an invisible force into one of the many prison cells.
By this time, Hollyleaf's sleeping body is in visible distress. Fallen Leaves is unable to wake her, and demands that Rock, the God of Time, do it. When Rock refuses, Fallen Leaves uses a tiny tunnel to get to Midnight, God of Dimensions. She begs Midnight to help, to do something, anything...
Midnight, seer of different dimensions and teacher of Fire to the cats, sends Fallen Leaves into the Dream World, to rescue Hollyleaf.
But Hollyleaf is clever, and able to escape the prison, setting off a riot. She and Fallen Leaves escape; though... When she gets out of the tunnel... The Lake looks quite different.
She and Fallen Leaves have gone back in time, as time and space are unstable in the tunnels. She lets Fallen Leaves go and see her family, though they will not be able to see her, while Hollyleaf stays and heals from an injury she got escaping Hell.
In the meantime, a baby Badger wanders up to Hollyleaf, starving and scared. Hollyleaf starts a fire, just like her mom... Aunt... taught her to, and cooks up some grilled pheasant. The baby Badger is thankful, and says so, startling Hollyleaf. She asks Hollyleaf how to start a fire, and when Hollyleaf shows her, she introduces herself... as Midnight.
The young god goes along her way, leaving Hollyleaf alone to think about her aunt. Her mom. Her other mom.... What even is Squilf to her anymore?
It's a lot to think about, and even more to miss.
When Fallen Leaves comes back, she and Hollyleaf head into the deepest tunnel to get back home. Hollyleaf heads back to Thunderclan, and finally sits down to have a talk with Leafpool.
Later, during Squirrelflight's Freedom, when Squilf steps down as deputy in a final act of defiance, Bramblestar chooses Hollyleaf for his second deputy. She knows what game Bramblestar is trying to play, and she's not interested. She takes his offer, but not his apology.
During TBC book 2, Hollyleaf sprains her leg BADLY. She was just out hunting when some thawing dirt gave way and the next thing she knew Jayfeather was fussing over her while his new husband Fuzzyleaf (Fuzzball) was gently massaging her hip. He confines her to her bed and Squilf is made temporary deputy against her will... She does it for Hollyleaf.
In time, he legs heals up, and she is torn between doing what is easy (killing Bramblestar's Imposter, as many times as it may take) or doing what is right, which is letting him at least have his body back. She dislikes her former father, but she isn't cruel. She knew if it was her in that situation she would be desperate for help from anyone.
She helps him, because helping people is the right thing to do, even if you dislike them.
During ASC, everybody is gunning for her to be leader. Dandeliontuft most of all wants another cat to replace her father, and places down the very first Thunderclan Leader Vote.
Bramblestar hates it and lashes out against them all before Starclan's divine intervention strikes hard and fast...
Hollyleaf quickly made aware that going to the Moonpool is not any sort of option to take. Something has cursed it, and no cat an get through. Breezepelt was mauled and may not survive, simply for trying to claim 9 lives.
Until things settle, Hollyleaf will call herself Hollystar, and will fight against Berrystar and Splashstar with clever tactics while others try and see if they can break the curse that withholds Starclan's blessing.
In the meantime, she'll be training Bristlepaw, and keeping a close eye on her as Starclan's angels close in to choose another "special" young cat...
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yujeong · 3 days
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Favourite Underrated Ship? Simple answer: Every single Pete rarepair! -> PorschePete? Iconic! Brilliant! Phenomenal! Most people love "best friends who kiss", I love "secret third thing". However one enjoys them, though, they're delicious to consume😌 (You might think it's not an underrated ship, but I'd like to inform you that it has, in fact, less than 100 fics on Ao3, so it very much is in my book. I'm happy to have contributed to it by posting two of them, but I'd love it if there were more. Hopefully, I'll get inspired anew one day.) -> KinnPete? Oh please, the power dynamics make me giggle like a 10 year old girl playing with Barbie dolls. Such glorious toxicity, such perfect ways Kinn could use and abuse Pete to his benefit, either with or without knowing he's doing it. You can do so much with them, either pre, during or post canon and I get so excited thinking about it. (This one has less than 50(!) fics posted, so I'm super thankful to the few authors who have gifted me some amazing works. Sharing my personal favourite because it deserves to be cherished 🥹) -> ArmPete? Do I even need to sell this one? It can do fluff, it can do angst, it can do smut, it can do it all. My personal favourite flavour of it is Arm having unrequited feelings for Pete because it's just so deliciously angsty 😇 I love me some pain, I can't help it. (This one doesn't have any fics to its name, besides one in Chinese. I'm devastated. I did personally have an idea for a multi-chaptered fic with 3k words already written, but if I manage to focus on it properly one day, it'll end up being a simple one-shot.) -> KimPete? Oh, you mean the ship I got so obsessed over I wrote 25k words of them platonically bonding, while having Kim think to himself more than once how pretty Pete is? You mean the ship that shares so many similarities with VegasPete, while still having its own identity based on the differences between Kim and Vegas? You mean the love of my life? (Again, fics for this one are almost non-existent, which is a shame, but understandable. One day, I'll manage to enrich the tag. One day.) -> TankhunPete? Take KinnPete's fucked up power imbalance and twist it in a more peculiar direction. What you get is this ship, which makes me so uncomfortable but so, so intrigued. (Incredibly underrated with how few fics it has, but a special thanks to this one for altering my brain chemistry when I first read it.) -> BigPete? Rivals who might engage in hate sex from time to time? Pals who share the same fate and understand it and bond over it? Pick your poison and roll with it, because it's delicious either way. I'm personally team "They hate each other" because it's more fun that way 😉 (Almost nothing here again, which is a shame, but again understandable. I had forgotten they shared 2 lines of dialogue together in the show, I deadass thought they never talked to each other, which was great for me lol. Here's one fic written by the same person who wrote the KinnPete one, in case you'd like something cool to read.) -> TayPete? This one's for pure aesthetic reasons because have you seen Tay, have you seen Tay at the auction, have you imagined Pete and Tay fucking at the auction, because I surely have 🙂 It's such a gorgeous image, I lose focus for a hot minute when it comes to me. (This one's tricky, because most people write Vegas/Pete/Tay, which is a glorious choice and I support it, and my talented friend is writing a very good VPT fic, but I'd love it if there were more fics that focus on these two only. They're too powerful, I can't get enough.) I think those are all the ones I'm personally obsessed with. All I have to say is, Pete deserves all the beautiful men and what they'd like to do with him ❤️
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welcometogrouchland · 2 months
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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dick grayson#talia al ghul#batfamily#dc robin#nightwing#anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther#like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it#they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc#but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself#anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did#it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios#also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul#you will always be famous to me#son of the demon origin...bwahhh#anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic#but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up#so go look at that as well#anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy#i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!)#so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!)#when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself#it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on#I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue#i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :]#idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups#so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat#(it's me they should hire me. please DC i have ideas listen to my red hood pitch PLEASE-)
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ryssbelle · 3 months
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Thought of this while at work, sorry it's a bit hard to read I sketched it out really fast before my last shift lmao wanted to get it done so I could work on other stuff hehe
If it's any consultation Floyd is mostly talking about himself
#my art#trolls#dreamworks trolls#brozone#trolls 3#trolls floyd#trolls john dory#trolls branch#trolls poppy#the way i imagine their 20 years in troll village is that one meme where its the two different nothing in life matters pics#but one is super sad and the other is happy looking and radical#thats floyd and jd#but they switch places depending on the day#branch is a secret third option#also idk what id do with the 3rd movies plot#this scene in my head is 3rd movie era but i like havent decided what theyre doing yet#theres a few possibilities on whos in the bottle or if theres a bottle at all#this would take place in a timeline where clay or bruce is in the bottle#but like heres the thing any of the brothers could be bottled and itd make for a good story#i drift more towards clay only for the irony of finding out your brothers alive but its a race against time cuz hes literally dying#so it adds to the urgency but then its not much adventure cuz they just gotta get bruce and go#cuz we have 3/5 brozone here already#same goes for if its bruce#so like for story purposes that means it would be most likely JD or Floyd which is just most aus and canon#cuz after world tour Floyd would travel with JD on their own tour Floyd going solo with JD as his manager#and in this scenario they came back to tell Branch about finding whoever is in the bottle#but the story of these guys could also work without any bottle so idk we'll just have to see what i decide to do later#also im slowly coming up with a name for this#very slowly but it'll happen#i actually have a google doc that has a name so i may just use that
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outism-had-a-purpose · 8 months
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Ryoshu and Rodya friendship where they sometimes sleep in each other's room when it gets too much in theirs.
When the candlelight in Ryoshu's gets too bright and suffocating with the heat and reminds her too much of the fire her daughter died in sometimes she knocks (more of. just letting herself in lmao) on Rodya's door to literally cool off.
Sometimes when Rodya's room freezes her down to the bone to the point where that she can't sleep, and the stench and sight of her dead neighbors haunts her every senses, Ryoshu gets a quiet knock on her door, and an even more surprising, a solemnly quiet Rodya outside, asking her if she can take a quick snooze here because she doesn't wanna go out and do the night watch.
Something something the only bed worth sleeping is the one right next to you (sad). Fire and ice duo. you get me riht
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moregraceful · 2 months
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I had a good meeting today, I want that on record. I want it on record that I had a good meeting. I had a meeting that did NOT make me want to take to the sea in a little rowboat.
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katyspersonal · 7 months
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#personal#internets#at this rate I've unfollowed both of the kinda.. 'controvercial' blogs I've been following#since there was a good chunk of actually good takes about how bad media is now and society and braindead internet 'activists' that-#-had it too good in their western countries and NEEDED to invent the reason to bully and excile people#could honestly resonate with it despite some other posts causing genuine pain. but mostly about terribly handled media#like you know that thing when corporations do terrible ass rep to pretend that they care for minorities#or artificially fabricate online backlash against their new actors to show investors that people show interest for their product because-#-of all the clicks on their article?#like discussion of this kind sorta keeps me sober#as a person with BPD I get contaminated by opinions VERY easily and as an autist I will believe everything if it is put together 'logically#that's why I HAVE to be exposed to every possible opinion so I am forced to make out my own rather than being swayed anywhere#but at this point those blog became kinda.. bad? like they don't just have 'opinions' but they hate just to hate#but now my dashboard and recs are full of exclusively things I can fully agree with and I am scared that it will rot my brain#like.. emotions are always the same. where is the 'wait WHAT' effect? where is anger? where is self-reflection?#but ALSO I realized that 'those' blogs are no better than those western 'warriors' I despise and they become narrow-minded too in the end#they advertise themselves as 'open to debate' only to always sway debate into trying to win and not into actually discovering the truth#I cannot trust any side because they're all narrow-minded and hostile but I cannot trust people without any side because-#-they're fence-sitters without morals that side with the winner#is there a secret third thing? like is there a way to not take a side but to still HAVE ideals and opinions?#my problem is that if I am not exposed to people that trash everything I value I forget why AM I valuing [a thing] to BEGIN with#and that won't do will it
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jlf23tumble · 11 months
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"Maybe I drink too much for a singer. Maybe I smoke too much for a singer. But it can be quite demanding, this life. So, for me to have those little vices, it's important." - Louis for The Telegraph
He even acknowledges himself that he smokes and drinks A LOT. but he sees it as his little pleasures in life. He says he needs it because he finds the life he lives demanding. He also once said that he needs a drink before the show to calm his nerves. So that sounds very much like he uses alcohol and cigarettes as a coping mechanism. That is NOT healthy. Wherever the memory loss comes from, he still has a problem with drugs and alcohol. He admits it in almost every interview! He just doesn’t see that it is a problem. Just like you :) instead of making fun of people who are concerned about Louis, you should at least acknowledge the fact that these concerns are very reasonable to have at this point. You don’t have to agree but making fun of it makes you look like a fool who is deeply in denial about reality.
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speaking of your coming of age movie that never happens & your narrative non-narratives, shoutout to the arcs that’d be supposedly “worse” lmfao like posts about people-pleasers being like “i’m in my villain era” when it’s just consciously prioritizing themselves at all / noting when boundaries for their own wellbeing are being trampled, and the like. wherein i’m like, well i like talking to people i suppose, i can do the hours of monologue at a wall for one mode, got chatterbox mode, funny guy theatrical mode, etc, but in actuality also, i do not like talking to people lmao. the “yeah, that’s me” movie ending with another voiceover while upbeat music plays & you’re cheerfully walking along in 0.75x speed through some picturesque arena filled with socializing people like =) putting on headphones, turning up the volume, ignoring everyone, dodging people according to the berth one wants to maintain,
#i mean in person i like to be somewhere Parallel to other ppl; but there By Myself technically lol#i also am down for / enjoy spontaneous fleeting interactions w/randos but ofc only the actually good ones; which can sure be rare#and naturally Online interactions have a lot more flexibility than [not having that option] but even then.#like on just one point: being in a ''fandom'' like no thanks at all ever lol even when it comes to relatively niche things#j'etadore quantent being Just Me Posting To Myself. i absolutely do not want to talk to anybody about winston billions.#posts are scrolls i've nailed to a door to be perused if someone wants. take it or leave it; i've given it & left#meanwhile Not In Person chats aren't even enough lol like; need more Delay than a live chat; also too much to say just like irl anyways#gotta be down for short essays at w/e weird pacing & inadvertent caginess abt what ig other ppl would find matter of factly easy to share#i.e. like What Are You Doing? type ye olde facebook status prompt material. well that's a secret / weird / not entertaining enough isn't it#not like i think oh scoff i Should be popular likable & beloved lmfao like no ofc i Know i'm not gonna come off like that. l'autistique.#to be thusly is to be generally considered unlikable / disliked. i probably don't like interacting w/an nt rando too much either.#& w/the power of [adhd] it's like yeah sure i can be the chatty Fun But Annoying person lmfao But. rather than really being begrudgingly#tolerated until ppl are just more used to you / forgive the annoyances it's like no it's just the Annoying part lol beyond that it's like#well you're also somehow still too weird & quiet so worst of both worlds right. And ofc i have Other Traits aren't just for everyone.#some classic easy to embrace shit like bit of a hothead; argumentative; opinionated; stubborn; spontaneous; a hater; cagey....lmao#much of that For Fun but the [autistic Friendly] social cues don't get read that way. plus i Can be unfriendly too ofc lmao. get outta here#like a friend group seems charming & adorably heartwarming in theory until it's like oh god but drawing on all relevant experiences?? No#the third or fourth or nth wheel falling behind on the narrow sidewalk / talked over / finding a chair on the end & ppl dont notice ur here#lowering expectations even for exchanges that Do happen. ppl can enjoy the novelty of a lengthy exchange for like; a day#on the other side of that if what's initiated is like; Brief General messages i'm like oh god lmfao now Eye can't keep up w/this style#beyond that spontaneous shit is like oh god masking. oh god double empathy misinterpretations & being treated horribly b/c of it.#Recognizing & Respecting my actual experiences rather than hypothetical ideals like no i'm Not failing by Not putting myself in more damn#situations lmfao....if i stumble into good ones then great lol. sure have done that & i don't discount the Value therein at all#just sure like [points to the wisdom of e.g. autistic ppl talking abt having to be lonely but at the gain of looking out for / appreciating#themself] like Being ''Unlikable'' or having friends(tm) but not Really / the treatment is shit / you're having to mask a ton anyways...#sure can recall experiences like idk. ppl ''being nice'' & whether on purpose or not it's like actually I'm In Hell I'm In Hell lmfao#and then even if it's not on purpose it's like ah i can't actually talk to them abt it & that's not a great endorsement for the dynamic huh#or just noting like i'm duly accepted to be on the sidelines but what am i doing wrong lmao sweating How To Earn proper Normal participation#lot of anxiety & blaming oneself & it turns out like nah can't excise the Fault of autistic / adhd / cpstdness & you're fine actually#that was ye olde times more so but it's gradual & still fairly recent being like Oh Right. more accurate ideas re: Talking To Ppl At All....
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