#theres a few possibilities on whos in the bottle or if theres a bottle at all

[ryssbelle]

Thought of this while at work, sorry it's a bit hard to read I sketched it out really fast before my last shift lmao wanted to get it done so I could work on other stuff hehe

If it's any consultation Floyd is mostly talking about himself

[im-yn-suckers]

virgin mary?

delinquent niki x student reader

warnings-high school bullies, mention of inappropriate things (sex, lingerie, gangs,) underage drinking, and crying

you were a good student, good grades, good looks, and you were a virgin, surprise. you were known for not having any bodies, while the people bullied you, well, weren't virgins. you dressed much more modestly than the others, who wore tube tops and shorts that exposed their behind.

but why?

oh, the reason in simple. you were bullied for your body, nothing was wrong with it, it was beautiful, but Yuna and her gang gaslighted you into thinking you were ugly when you were freshmen. it went from wearing crop tops and short ish skirts to jeans and long sleeved tops that covered your entire body. up until senior year.

now niki was a trouble maker but only sometimes. in school, he was a straight A student and got in trouble often but not enough that he got suspended or expelled. one day, he got called to the principals office

'so, the janitors found this in your locker last night. Yunho said you and some others were drinking after school hours' he placed 4 beer bottles on his desk and sighed. 'you wont be suspended or expelled, but you have to clean between classes and tutor on saturday mornings at 8 am here at school.' he scoffed at the principal and left.

saturday morning comes and the bus picks him up, ten minutes later, you get on the bus. he watched in admiration as you picked up a book. he talks to you and you become friends.

over time, you trust him more and you know he wont pressure you to anything. one day at lunch, Yuna's friend, Yujin, talks to you/

'you know, youd be so much prettier if you bought makeup, but in he nicest way possible. youre just so cute and.... innocent. eat lunch with me!'

she grabbed your wrist, forcing you to follow. you get there and everyone stares at you, gasping and whispering. Haechan and Minji are making out, like always and they come up to you, staring.

you look at the paper in Yujins hand and tear fill your eyes. they edited a picture of you. they cut out the face of a lingerie model, wearing a hot pink set of lingerie, posing in a way that shows her cleavage and behind, replacing it with yours.

the picture said 'virgin mary? maybe not!' you backed up and ran, bumping into nikis chest as he pulls you into a hug.

'hey, hey, shh its okay im here' he reassures you its alright without even knowing whats happening. he walks to Yujin and snatches the paper.

'no wonder you guys have been so close these days, youve got little virgin mary give it up to you and send you nude photos.' Haechan scoffs and goes back to making out with his girlfriend.

niki punches him in the face and runs away with you, taking you to his car.

'hey, hey, look, its okay. theyre just a bunch of shitheads who are insecure'

you sobbed into his shoulder and he placed a kiss on your forehead.

'i love you, riki' you let out a sob almost immediately.

'i love you too'

a few moments of silence go by and he speaks up

'hey, theres stil three hours until we go home, wanna drive around?'

you nod slowly and get in the car. you drive around the neighborhood and get some lunch, due to not being able to eat because of the whole fiasco.

he confesses his true feelings, not daring to make eye contact. you reciprocate and kiss him, cleaning up your food. he drove you home and you flopped on you bed thinking, 'the worst and best day of my life'

[jaybutnotthebird]

IMAGINE MEETING ROCKY ON THE ROAD

-Imagine meeting Rocky on the road when you were both homeless teenagers.

-Imagine being slightly bigger than him, since he's buildt like a noodle, and of more thought appearence, just 'cause you can't possibly be as cheerful as him

-imagine that you can play some short of instrument that fits fine with the fiddle, like a little flute or a guitar, and the two of you hit it off right away

-imagine Rocky telling Freackle about you in one of his letters

-imagine you two geting to know each other deeply, little by little. Soon there's a point where you know the sadness behind his grins, and he knows exactly how to tease you and when not to do it

-imagine one of you geting into trouble, and expecting the other to get away only to have them come back and risk it for you

-imagine that, for a while, its the two of you against the world, playing little songs and telling stories to earn enough to eat while on the road

-imagine the inside jokes, the hours spent just walking and talking together, the nights cold as fuck but good enough to make do, the feeling of compañerism between you two

-imagine the few fights and arguments between you, wich, no matter how bad they could get, were forgotten as soon as they ended

-imagine joining the cyrus together, maybe even starting a simple, fun musical number to entertain the audience

-imagine that one of you lost the job at the cyrus and the other doubted not a second to follow, to stick together

-imagine what may have been the reason you went your separate ways

-maybe (and this is just my imagination) maybe you two realiced what you felt for each other and panicked. Had an argument. Decided it was better to put some distance between you

-imagine regreting that choice, as you spent night after night alone on the road, wondering if the other is ok and if they miss you as much as you miss them

-imagine going back at one point and trying to find the other, but theres no use, so you just give up on It and keep only the memories

-imagine ending up at St Louis, doing odd jobs, from playing on the street to the more dangerous, ilegal kind

-imagine meeting by chance on the street, and its just sudden joy without second thoughts

-imagine Rocky just passing by, hearing the familiar sound of music. He knows what that instrument is but it didn't occur to him it would be the exact same, played by the same person. When he comes closer and sees you he just runs at you exclamig your name. You abruptly stop playing and return the hug, lifting him in the air, no matter who's watching

-imagine the sweet, exciting joy of a chance sudden reunion with an old friend like that

-imagine how you both have changed, becoming older, stronger... He looks good in blue. You are still dressed humble, tho not in rags like when you first met

-imagine talking for hours, catching up. He brings you to the little daisy café, gets pancakes, then takes you downstairs, introduces you to everyone

-imagine making a little demonstration of the songs you use to play. You havent done this in years, but one of you starts a familiar tune and the both of you fall right away into it, in sinc

-imagine you finding some odd job with the Lackadaisy crew, maybe somehow fiting your little instrument in with the rest of the band, but also joining Rocky on his dangerous runs

-imagine you two talking up to late hours like back in the day

-imagine finding a little place to bunk in together, at last. A place of your own.

-imagine geting upset with Rocky, and telling him to his face that his life is worth much more than three meager bottles of shit water. Imagine breaking them in a fit of rage just to drive the point home.

-imagine threatening him with burning the speakeasy down if he gets hurt. Imagine his face.

-imagine him being pensive and quiet after this

-imagine the two of you finally acting up on your feelings after years of constant struggle and distance

-imagine your life together from there

[thefandomchaos]

AU where Dean died in a hunt John sent him in 2003.

John sents Dean in a hunt, Dean get badly hurt and tries calling John for help. John doesn’t answer the first few times and when he does he just tells Dean to ‘man up’ and that ‘he doesn’t have time’. Dean ends up dying, becoming a Spirit, not being able to move on.

Dean, after realizing everything, goes to Sam in Stanford. At first, Sam thinks is actually Dean and is confused (and admittedly excited) to see him; but then Dean is looking at him with a sad smile, and the air is cold, and theres a lot of injuries on him and then Dean fritz’s on the spot and suddenly Sam can’t breath because his worst nightmare just came true and now his crying and Dean is trying to calm him down even as a spirit (THE ANGST POTENTIAL WITH THIS HERE-)

Eventually, Sam calms down enough to ask Dean what happened. Dean, reluctantly explains the hunt and how John sent him and ignored his call. Sam is, rightfully livid, and long story short goes to find John at whatever Motel his staying with Dean telling him not to do anything stupid yet.

Sam finds John; who is very confused on why Sam is there and they start arguing and yelling and when Sam tells him he let Dean died, John tells him his crazy until Dean appears besides Sam and he argues a bit with John because of course his mad, his own dad got him killed. Eventually, Sam goes to leaves and when John ask where his going, Sam says “To put my brother to rest” and with that he leaves, Dean following Sam.

Sam finds where Dean (and the Impala, which was left on the road) body is, and is even worse because his body is cold, pale and crawling with insects over the injuries and Sam almost vomits. Dean tells Sam to wait for a moment and he’ll try moving his own body because he knows Sam is having a hard time just looking at it. Sam stands farther away while Dean tries moving his body when he sees a truck approaching, and it doesn’t take long to realize is John’s truck. John, very drunk, stumbles onto the field, glass beer bottle in hand. Him and Sam start arguing again, which leads to fighting. Dean, who still can’t do anything, tries to get them to stop.

But then at some point the bottle was broken…

And when John raised his hand enough toward Sam’s throat…

Sam is clutching at his bleeding jugular as he tries to keep the blood from spilling, he can’t breathe…

Dean yells, FINALLY being able to snap and throw John across the field, making him collide with something and knocking him unconscious. Sam falls to the ground, still struggling as Dean holds him, trying to reassure him everything fine and he’ll fix it everything even if they both know is not possible. It doesn’t take long for Sam’s eyes to close, as his hands go limp and his breathing stops. Dean just keeps holding onto his now dead brothers body, crying himself when he hears a noise behind him.

Sam is there, but the slash in his throat prevents him from talking and is still now forever dripping blood; and his crying and scared and Dean just pulls him close and finally hugs him and he tries to be strong but they’re both dead, their bodies are besides them and there own father killed them. Dean was barely a adult at 24 and Sam wasn’t even legally one at 20. After a moment; Dean, who can now actually do things, grabs Sam body and puts it beside his own.

They leave John there, let him wake up to see both his sons dead body due to his own accord; Sam and Dean leave, they don’t know who they’re going to go to but they only have one goal.

Revenge on John

(Don’t ask how their spirits are moving places, just imagine they are attached to family or smth)

[biribaa]

Fantoccio with a reader who is a writer hcs!

TW/CW: None, I think?

This little folk doesn't mind at all with you showing him your last drafts! Fantoccio would be even more happy if you asked his help to read it and so he can show his honest opinions or to just report a few mistakes here and there so you can edit later, regardless of whether it's a single poem or a whole scene. Fantoccio, just like you, is a artist who searches for the perfect narrative, and for what reason he wouldn't help you?

Sometimes, when Fantoccio doesn't have nothing to do in particular and you are doing your usual writing time in your routine of the day, he likes to check on you, asking if theres any dificults you're going through, about what happened to the current characters, or just to motivate you.

Normally, when you are way too much time in that chair typing and typing in a no stop rhythm, Fantoccio feels forced to tease you to make you stop for a little to continue tomorrow. Or to at least take a break to eat a snack or take a bottle of water. Oh and trust me he's going to convince you in the most annoying way possible(maybe in the cutest way possible, if you have a different point of view).

It's obvious Fantoccio isn't the best at helping people with their feelings and stuff, that includes your burnout days. Of course he had his own burnouts as a theater artist, but he just don't know what to do when it comes to helping another artist in burnout. Should he motivate you with words? Make you inspired with a play, perhaps? He wants to help, but the main question is 'how'. Fantoccio just really hopes you understand he really wants you to get better about this situation even if he isn't the best in making it better.

However, if we are talking about writer's block, Fantoccio knows some tricks to help your writer's block problem up on his sleeve. Sometimes, your partner recommends you to just take a break and in the next day your mind will be good as new! Just do try avoiding distractions(that sadly means he won't be able to walk in your room and ask how that one plot twist you mentioned earlier went or how your poem is going :/ ).

Some time or others Fantoccio asks himself if you would like to make some collaboration together! You write, he acts, for him sounds like a perfect bonding time together! Two artists, together, helping each other to make the flawless tale with their talents mixed, for him that's way more cool and romantic than a date!

[underratedandoverit]

Afterhours

~2k words orangekip (orange cassidy/kip sabian)

i have no explanation or excuse for this really. it just kinda happened. the new kip photo did me in really badly and yeah he obviously needs to be punished for it a little bit lmao

its technically not spicy, nothing really happens. theres some making out. some biting. oc is very possessive. this happens in the shower. uuuuh fade to black before anything really mature or explicit happens. and kip says fuck once. i think thats all? its like all smoke but no actual fire as i like to describe these things i do lmao

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate

on ao3

---------------------------

Kip sighed, trying to close the hotel room door as quietly as possible. The night had dragged on far later than he had wanted or originally planned, but when work called, it just couldn’t be helped, he had to participate. Kip just really didn’t prefer it after a long travel and show day, especially when he could have spent the evening with Cassidy instead.

A little smile crossed Kip’s lips as he spotted the figure on the bed in the dark room, Cassidy not reacting to him entering into the room, clearly being asleep already. Kip parked his suitcase by the bathroom door, carefully opening it and fishing out some fresh clothes he could sleep in before retreating into the bathroom.

He flicked on the lights after closing the door, wincing a little at the sudden bright lights, following with a roll of the eyes at his reflection. While the makeup and hair crew had helped him to perfect the look for tonight and the photo shoot that followed, that also meant many more layers and products on his skin and hair than he usually wore, making Kip incredibly aware of the fact that he was caked in things that he needed to wash away before he could even think about sleeping comfortably, let alone next to someone else.

Kip dropped the pile of clothes from his hands to the counter, double checking his reflection again. Eyeliner needed to be gone, same with the eye shadow. He just in general needed to wash his face. The hairspray was showing on a few lone, thick strands of hair sticking out of place, making it very clear that sleeping with it was going to make washing it in the morning an absolute pain.

He turned around, hand reaching for one of the bath towels hanging on the door, throwing it on the counter as well. Kip would have much rather just went to bed directly, but if he didn’t take care of all of this right now, it was going to be even worse come next morning. He sighed, stripping out of his clothes with ease, knowing that just taking a quick shower was going to be so much easier than trying to get himself cleaned over the sink.

Kip stepped in the shower, closing the curtain after him, turning on the water. Feeling the quickly warming droplets against his exposed skin made him hum quietly as a wave of content washed him over, Kip leaning his head forward to let the water run on his head and through his hair, hoping it would make getting rid of the wax and hairspray at least a little bit easier.

Kip jumped a little as he heard the bathroom door close suddenly, but the surprise was soon replaced with a soft smile as he remembered who was staying in the room with him. He reached for the shower curtain, pulling it to the side slightly, peeking his head out of the shower to spot the sleepy looking Cassidy standing in the bathroom, looking back at him yawning and rubbing his eye.

“Did I wake you? Sorry babe, I’m just taking a quick shower, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

Leaning back into the shower Kip pulled the curtain back to place, hand reaching for the shampoo bottle sitting on the shelf by the shower. He wasn’t really a fan of hotel provided care products, but in a pinch like this it was fine, as long as it got rid of the things in his hair. As he poured the shampoo out of the bottle into his hand, as soon as he brushed it into his hair Kip heard the shower curtain shuffling behind him, making the Brit turn around just in time to watch Cassidy climb into the already rather cramped space with him.

“Cle-clementine?” If his surprise wasn’t so obvious by the blush creeping up his cheeks very fast, his stammering voice sure was. Cassidy just smiled at him, that still slightly sleepy sweet smile that Kip loved seeing so much, before he leaned in for a quick kiss, hands carefully directing Kip as Cassidy turned him back around, back towards him. Before Kip could question him after silently following his confusing directions, he could feel the pair of familiar hands slipping into his hair, carefully starting to run through the wet strands, slowly massaging his scalp.

“Let me help you a little,” Cassidy whispered as he leaned closer, pressing a quick little kiss to the back of Kip’s ear. The Brit felt a shiver run up his spine, coming out of his mouth as a soft moan as he almost forced his eyes closed, trying to focus on the hands in his hair, the fingertips gently drawing circles on his skin. The shower water suddenly felt much warmer than before against his body.

“How’s that?” Kip just whined back at him a little, Cassidy quietly chuckling as he pressed another kiss on his skin, this time on his shoulder. “You like that, don’t you?”

Kip nodded his head, hearing the smile in Cassidy’s voice as the blond hummed quietly, hands slightly pushing his head forward. Kip followed the movement, allowing his head to be pushed under the shower, letting Cassidy to remain in control as he thoroughly rinsed the shampoo out of his hair, just letting Kip stand there and enjoy the care taking.

Unfortunately for Kip though, that wasn’t all Cassidy was going to let him enjoy as when he finished the rinsing process, his hands easily slipped back into Kip’s hair with the far too familiar, almost comforting possessiveness. Trapping some loose curls between his fingers, Cassidy gave his hair a good tuck, Kip leaning into the touch with a moan as Cassidy pulled his head away from the water.

“I’m so glad your hair is so long now,” Cassidy purred at him, pulling Kip’s head close enough that he could press a little kiss on his cheek. “It makes this so much easier. And it makes you hotter.”

As Kip didn’t vocally respond but Cassidy could see him biting his lower lip in hopes of not letting out anymore unwanted sounds, the blond’s hands almost tauntingly slowly slipped away from his hair, down Kip’s neck and along both shoulders, ghosting against his skin, sending a visible shiver down his spine. Cassidy pressed a kiss on the back of his neck, arms wrapping around the other man’s midsection, pulling him as close against his own body as possible before Cassidy’s lips were on his skin again, going for that very specific spot on the side of his neck that they both knew was Kip’s weak point.

“Fuck.” It was the only word Kip was able to breathe out coherently, feeling the lips against his skin, the little bites Cassidy was leaving on him, the pressure of the shower and the water making the sensations even stronger, almost incapacitatingly so. “G-god, Clementine…”

“Mmhhmm.” His voice vibrated against Kip’s skin, just enhancing the bite against his shoulder. Kip could feel the tension shooting through him, hands on instinct reaching for the shower wall for some support, even though he was very steady in Cassidy’s arms, tightly wrapped around him, fingertips dancing along his sides. Cassidy continued like nothing happened, leaving little bites just strong enough to bruise the skin along the back of his shoulder, listening Kip’s desperate moans get louder with each bite.

“Shh,” Cassidy finally stated, his lips lifting up from Kip’s skin just long enough to give him a break he desperately needed, his breathing tight in his throat. “It’s very late. You don’t want to wake up our neighbors, do you?”

Kip whined something incoherent at him, his wordless protest just getting louder as Cassidy pulled away, unwrapping his arms from around him. Kip took a moment to steady himself, still feeling at least slightly overstimulated by it all, but eventually he managed to turn around to face Cassidy, watching the blond just softly smile back at him as if he hadn’t just been sinking his teeth into him and teasing the living hell out of him.

Before Kip could get a word out of himself, Cassidy’s hands were on his face, pulling him into a kiss, unsurprisingly a very passionate one. He tried to protest, only to feel Cassidy take advantage of it, slipping his tongue into Kip’s mouth with ease. He knew it was pointless to fight it, as much as he didn’t want to take this further after where Cassidy had already gone, knowing it was only going to take more out of him, but at the same time his kisses were mesmerizing, almost hypnotizing. Kip slowly melted against his passionate showcase of love and care, just allowing Cassidy to suck the air out of his lungs, leaving Kip with nothing but static for thoughts and one hand slipping to the back of his neck, deepening the kiss even more if possible.

Kip only came back to some coherent thoughts as he felt the cold tiles of the shower wall against his skin, making him gasp in surprise enough to break the kiss apart. Cassidy pulled away, but remained close enough that Kip was sure he could basically hear his heartbeat, the blond’s thumbs running across his cheeks, only after him pulling his hands away Kip noticing the black runny streaks on his hands that had formerly been his eyeliner.

“I always think I’ve seen the best of you,” Cassidy muttered, eyes traveling the Brit up and down, watching the fire creep up on Kip’s face as his eyes landed back on his face. “But then I see you some way new and…” The smirk on Cassidy’s lips was so obviously teasing, if Kip wasn’t already embarrassed he would have been now.

“You’re just gorgeous when you’re all wet, you know that?”

Kip’s mind went blank for a moment, his body taking over responding to what he assumed was more of a tease than a compliment, his feet suddenly wanting to make their way out of the shower. Unfortunately for him, Cassidy had other plans for him, his hands quickly grabbing a hold of Kip, with ease taking a hold of his hands and pinning him back against the cold shower wall, hands above his head.

“I told you you’re gorgeous and this is how you say thank you?”

Kip averted his gaze, the deep blush flushing over his features, the heartbeat in his head getting louder as he could feel Cassidy pressing his body against his, as closely and tightly as possible. Kip’s eyes fluttered shut, the man taking in a shaky breath as his thoughts were racing everywhere as he felt Cassidy's hot breath against his lips, just before a small teasing kiss was planted there.

“You like that, don’t you?”

Kip didn’t reply to him, but at the same time he didn’t need to form any sensible words, as Cassidy even slightly moving his body against his erupted an unintentional moan out of him. If Kip could see him right now, if he was brave enough to open his eyes, he could have bet on it that Cassidy was wearing the biggest grin on his face right then.

“Well… We could continue this elsewhere. The bed is rather comfortable.”

The Brit barely nodded his head, feeling one hand disappearing from his before he heard the shower turning off. Cassidy’s breath quickly returned to his face though as he kissed Kip again, just as quickly as before, hands untangling from his, Kip’s eyes slowly opening as his mind tried to catch back up to the situation at hand.

“Sad that you’re so clean now,” Cassidy chuckled at him, stealing yet another kiss from Kip’s lips, this time the Brit being coherent, and honestly desperate, enough to try to chase after it, watching the smirk never leaving the blond’s lips. “You might need another shower when I’m done with you.”

[dabisqueen]

Awe imagine finding out you’re pregnant with rockstar Dabis kid.

We’ve already established you and dabi are that grossly “too opened” type couple who will literally do anything and talk about anything to each other and not care how gross or off the thing is or request is. Since y’all are so open you two have weird sense of humor as well where one of you is always like “I’m gonna fucking vomit all over you if you say something that dumb again” and one day you say something around the lines “I’m about to vomit” to that man and he laughs at first thinking you’re joking until he sees you try to quickly hop up from the couch but not making it and spewing just everywhere. He’s literally so horrified and is like “WHY DID YOU ACTUALLY PUKE” and you’re whining like “I don’t know! I told you I was gonna puke” and it’s a whole moment.

Little moments of sickness would be looked over because dabi and his s/o is definitely the type who is like pfft us having baby? Please- we are so safe and never gonna have kids and literally in the same breath will be raw dogging it in the back. Like be so fucking fr right now.

Anyway it would probably start to worry him when you start not going to things with him anymore like you use to because you’re too tired or don’t feel good. Usually you’re always down to have a few drinks or maybe smoke a little weed or just fuck or running around town just doing stupid shit and running from cops or paparazzi but you’re just been laying up in bed.

Some how Dabi probably knows you’re pregnant before you do and just shows up to y’alls little apartment with a few bags and Is like “I don’t know what color you wanted or even if it matter but I started buying stuff” and you’re like “?” And when you open the bAG THERES LITERALLY BABY CLOTHES IN IT??? and this stupid fuck is like “what? You’re pregnant aren’t you?”

He’s also definitely so ready to meet the baby. When they are born he will be talking to it and making it dance or move their lips to make it look like they are cussing or something. Like he just thinks it’s so funny. He’s definitely a really really good day and surprisingly does extremely well with kids and babies. He’s constantly feeding the baby. Like if that baby isn’t feeding off of you it’s taking a bottle and he’s holding them so close to his heart while just staring at the tiny little bABY AH! ���️

Aaah nonny! We have the baby hots now 😫

Thank you for this, I love Dad Dabi. He would be the best dad ever - at least he would everything possible to be one!

💙💙💙😘😘😘

[inmydeepestdreams]

“You will not BELIEVE what this man said to me,” Mel said as a greeting as she strolled into my house, her phone in one hand and an overnight bag in the other.

I stood at the kitchen island. The door was unlocked, I was expecting her. I uncorked a bottle of wine and got to pouring as my best friend in this world described her latest tinder failure.

“I cant, with these apps. I swear, I’m losing it,” Mel complained. She locked her phone and tossed it onto the island. She snatched up her wine and turned away to throw herself on the couch.

I walked over too, patting her ankles to get her to lift her legs. Her legs immediately fell back into my lap. I pinched her thin black leggings absently and listened to her bitch about dating apps.

Mel is my best friend, but we’ve only know each other for two years. Ever since I moved into the area and we became coworkers. We hit it off right away. We actually initially bonded over us accidentally going on a bad date with the same man in the same week. We’ve been close ever sense.

She sat up, placing her cup on the coffee table. The screen was just the purple entertainment image. I watched her unclasp her bra and pull it out from under her grey t-shirt to get more comfortable. I wondered why she even bothered, I certainly didn’t have a bra on under my cheap Walmart night shirt. Hell, I only wore panties as a courtesy, as she was sleeping over.

“I really don’t know what to do, it’s so tiresome. And then I say, I’ll delete the apps and meet someone naturally, but that never happens. Ever. So I’m stuck in this hell loop of maybe it’ll be different this time, and it never is.”

Mel sat up, throwing her arm over the back of the couch. Her eyes searched my face, possibly hoping for a crumb of wisdom I didn’t have. I was in the same boat as her. I had a terrible second date a week ago with a guy that made me delete the app for the fifth time since my initial download.

She reached over and tugged at my ponytail, sighing.

“And none of them, none of them can fuck me right.”

I giggled, finally we were getting to the meat of it.

“Tell me about it.”

“I point to the clit, I take their hand and fucking guide them, and still they poke at nothing and think they’re gods. I can’t do it anymore, I’m exhausted, Nicky. Fucking exhausted.”

“The last guy that tried to finger me just rubbed all up in my folds for thirty seconds and asked if I came. He was thirty-two years old.”

We cackled and continued to discuss our hatred of the dating world for several minutes. We both finished our glasses but neither moved to get up. The night was young, the sleepover just started.

“Theres only so much a vibrator can do, I mean, seriously.”

“It can do more than these guys online.”

“Fuck, I mean, yeah. They aren’t like the men in porn, are they?”

No, I laughed. They absolutely were not. Mostly because those were trained professionals and porn was a circus. But still, it would be nice if the average guy took care about pleasuring their partners.

“I watched this video last night, it was just like, twelve minutes of him eating her out. Fuck. I’ve never had someone focus on me like that. Most guys make a face if you bring up head.”

I had similar experiences, but I did have a boyfriend a few years back that loved to give head.

“That video sounds boring, mellie.”

Melinda scrunched up her face, ready to argue.

“What? Boring? Well fuck, Nicky. What kind of porn do you watch?”

I shrugged, not ready to share all my dirty secrets with my friend.

“I guess I just like a bit more adventure.”

“Give me an example of one adventure. I demand it.”

We laughed, but Mel was serious. And fuck it, whatever.

“Mm, okay. The last one I watched was roleplay and ended with two women tied up and one man…ugh.”

“What!” Mel shouted, grinning. I covered my blush. “Now you have to finish!”

“He just like, edged them for a while. Whatever, it’s stupid.”

“You have a thing for begging?”

Well, she just got right to the root of it.

“Sure, who doesn’t.”

Mel looked off into the distance, a glint in her eye.

“Well, now I have to see the video.”

“What?”

“The video. Show me.”

What? Put on porn right now?

“Uh…”

“What? Scared?”

My laptop was on my coffee table. Whatever, this night may as well get weird.

I opened an incognito tab and went searching. Mel hovered over my shoulder the entire time.

I had no look finding the video. I looked up key words and kinks but nothing. Lost in the deep sea caves of internet porn.

“That one looks good,” Mel said, pointing at a video after I told her I couldn’t find mine. She didn’t realize the laptop had a touch screen and it started to play.

She took it from me and placed it on the coffee table. Mel pulled her legs up to her chest, angling away from me as it began.

It started similar to the other one. A woman in a sundress opened the door, a very handsome man was there to do yard work.

Mel and I laughed at the cliche. I thought about shutting it off there and calling it good.

We watched the girl watch him through her window, her hand shaking under the pretty yellow dress. She had massive tits that absolutely strained the halter top.

Another woman appeared then, so this video had the same threesome element I had found in the other one. She was also wearing a sundress, blue cotton. She had short cut hair that was bleached, her ears were filled with rings and her chest was smaller than the first girl.

She had walked in on the first girl, touching herself to the shirtless man. The first girl was embarrassed, but quickly encouraged to continue by the new arrival, as it was porn and that’s the nature.

Soon, both girls had their hands pushed up under their skirts. The pixie cut girl bit her lip and moaned prettily. She reached over and pulled at the girls top, but it bounced in place, keeping her chest concealed.

They were staring at each other with open mouthed lust. I was snapped back to reality when Mel said:

“I didn’t realize it was lesbian porn.”

But neither of us moved to turn it off. The blue dress girl pushed the other woman’s boobs up, playing with them over the fabric.

That’s when the camera panned out, showing the man doing yard work staring at the girls as they acted inappropriately in front of the window.

“Are you gonna punish us?” The yellow dress asked when he came in to confront them. A close up shot of her pussy showed wetness, her panties were drenched.

The blue dress girl got on her knees while the other watched, touching herself.

And they were off, the two women on him in a mess of tongues and touches. The man was not an excited participant, but he also liked watching them touch each other. Porn logic.

I felt a familiar tingling down below. It’s been, what, a week since my last orgasm? For no particular reason, I’m just a busy person.

And these people were hot. All three of them. I’m not gay, but I can admit I like to admire a pretty lady. I can easily get stuck on a nice chest. And the man was all rippling muscles and long, pretty hair.

I found myself rubbing my legs together, which was embarrassing. Mel was right there beside me, and sure, this was her idea, but she was acting like an adult. I was starting to feel too horny to think.

He had the yellow dress girl on the ground, he fucked into her roughly, her arms pinned above her head.

Her dress was still on, but it only covered her torso. The other woman ripped off her bra and pulled the dress down, revealing enormous tits and pink nipples. My mouth watered.

I should shut it off, I should. But then the girl started to roll one of her nipples between her teeth. Girl number one mewled so prettily, it was music to my ears.

He was saying things to her, calling her pussy wet and tight. Soon, he was off her and fucking the other girl, positions totally switched. The other girl was a screamer, every thrust seemed to send her into another dimension.

I couldn’t help but glance over at my friend. I wanted to find an excuse to slip away, go into the bathroom and relieve some pressure. But there’s no way I could be quick about it.

When I looked back at the screen, one girl was sitting on the others face, the guy was roughly stroking himself while the woman was waiting with her tongue out.

“Fuck,” I looked to my right again. Mel was fixated on the screen. She had a pillow in her lap and realized, right then, she was using it to cover her hand, which had dipped below her waistline.

I looked back at the porn, blushing profusely. This was wrong, totally wrong.

But fuck, if she could touch herself, why couldn’t I? I was being good, sitting here, and frankly, it hurt. I needed something or I was going to cry.

I tried to shuffled discreetly, slipping my hand up my night dress. My panties snapped against my skin when I failed to get my hand under them the first time. I was caught, Mel looked at me.

But she didn’t say anything, so I didn’t either. I slipped my hand into my underwear and found my clit.

I bit back a sigh as I finally, finally got the friction I needed. On screen, the man had come but the girls were still going. One woman licked his come off the woman’s face.

I imagined myself there, riding someone’s face while a man used me like a towel. I felt a rush through my body, maybe I would be able to come.

I looked over at Mel, she had loved the pillow,

I could see her hand moving furiously under her pants. She looked frustrated, or like she was concentrating.

The girls were scissoring, letting out small, sharp noises of pleasure. I wondered if Mel ever sounded like that, if she was biting back noises like their own.

I moved a bit quicker, focusing on the women and their bouncing. The jiggle of their chests, the sloppy sound of their pussies rubbing together, pretty plush lips perpetually open.

God, it felt good.

It felt so, so good.

Beside me, though, I heard Mel come. Damn her. She let out a soft moan and I could see her hand stop moving.

So I had to stop too. I had to, or else it would be weird.

Mel looked over at me. Miserably, I pulled my hand from under my night dress. It was wet, I pressed it against my leg.

They were still going in the video, which had to be almost over by now. Had to be.

Mel reached over and traced her finger up my neck, finding the back of my head to dig her hand into.

What was she doing?

“Lean back, Nicky,” she said, her voice low and unfamiliar.

I did as she asked, staring at her in shock all the while.

She slid off the sofa and moved the coffee table off to the side so I could still see the video.

I watched her push her hair behind her ears. She looked up at me, there was no denying this was my friend on her knees in front of me.

“Pretend im him,” the man on the video was back and eating the girls out again.

She slid her hands up my thighs, raising goosebumps where she touched. She wrapped her clever fingers around my soaking underwear and pulled them down. She left them hooked around one ankle as she pushed my legs apart and moved in.

She lifted one of my legs, pressing a kiss to the skin and putting it on her shoulder.

“Youre so wet,” she said.

The girls in the video came. It was over officially, a new one played automatically.

She licked a slow stripe through my folds before landing on her target. And wow, oh wow, that’s a sensation I haven’t felt in a while.

Warm, wet, and intelligent. She swirled my clit around, causing awkward shuddering breaths and wild fire spread beneath me.

The new video didn’t even have a man, it was just straight up lesbian porn. Fuck, all this was pretty gay.

As if sensing my thoughts, Mel pushed closer, locking her lips around my clit and sucking.

I couldn’t help my loud moan as it tore its way from my lungs. She took the encouragement to continue.

I kept my eyes closed, my bottom half was prickly stars and fire, I wanted to feel it forever. I wanted what she could give me.

“Oh, fuck, Mel.” I whimpered my friends name, I was going to come soon. My friend was going to make me come.

“Mel, oh god.”

This was as hot as it was embarrassing. She was seeing me like this, she was making me feel this way. I couldn’t take it, it was too much.

I fell over the edge with a cry that matched the women on the screen. Mel kept licking me all the way through it, finger pads digging into my legs.

She finally pulled away when I was shaking. She looked up at me, on her knees, mouth covered in my juices.

Beside us, the women were fucking, singing the chorus of our relationship.

That was pretty gay, and I’d like to do it again.

[anhay-hootenheimer]

1 Year

Today marks the anniversary of being Diagnosed with Diabetes. I had been feeling shitty for quite some time beforehand and in retrospective, the signs were all symptoms of undiagnosed diabetes.

Theres no weaselling out of responsibility, taking the easy way out of blaming genetics or unfortunate circumstances, the diabetes was a devil of my own making. A result of imcredibly destructive and unhealthy lifestyle choices over a prolonged time.

I still remember the day My gp's asistant called and insisted on a fast appointment. It was a bit unusual, I just thought it would be another "be aware of the future impact of your choices" pep talknfro my doc. It wasnt, he flatout, no mercy smacked the diagnosis into my face. An incredibly harsh, yet effective wakeup call. Instantly Inwent home, poured all tge coke in my fridge into the toilet (bottles were opened and prepared withnfreshly squeezed lime juice, the closed ones i had i donated to a coworker) and gave away all overly unhealthy food items i had in my possession.

Called and made a Diabetologist appointment the next morning. hbpa 11 % Hardcore bad. I was enrolled in a course for Type 2 Diabetics, I had to attend once a week over a few months. I learned the basics and got taught a few tricks and was told that for starters, just switching out things for healthy alternatives is fine, change needs to come slow, carefully. I was probably the only one who 100% religiously followed the courses lessons and brought weekly blood sugar measurement values in.

What was the most incredibly hard to pull off change was carbs. You dont realize how carb heavy your diet is until you look to change it. I tried to keep my pure carb content at 100g daily, maximum!!! That led me to stick with a very heavy protein and low fiber diet. Naturally that took only a short time till that caused a whole row od side issues i still struggle with now (to a much lesser degree, but still).

This april things hit a dead stop and over a period of 1 month I hit the lows and highs of digestive problems too grtesque, horrifying and panful to publically disclose. It was at times so bad it drove me to a place too dark too describe. But witg perseverance, help from my friends, physicians and even coworkers I made it through that time aswell.

I stll occasionally struggle with issues and have a bad say now and again, often to the detriment of my mental state. But thats also something I am now seeing someone about.

One year later from the startbof everything, I sit in my favorite cafe and reflect. It was an insanely eventful and difficult year. A year defined by willpower, change, endurance, struggle, pain but also by health, new perspective and positivity. All in all, I think its been a rather positive change altogether. I lost more than 60 kg over this year and my hbpa is now 4.8% (really excellent for a diabetic) and even my blood pressure has stabilized by alot.

I thank my friends, family, coworkers, therapists and all physicians who stood by me during this difficult time. I sincerely could not have done it wthout all of you. As I sit here in my cafe, I lift my triple espresso (no milk foam) and have a cup for all of you and hope for a better future and more positive change in the coming times.

So take it from me: always have enough fiber in your diet and use healthy alternatives wherever possible (wholegrain pasta instead of white flour)

[wooahaes]

ooo wb tsundere asahi - mysterious class asahi hits different so how do you think he would be like :o

tsun asahi aka the only asahi i write tbh /j like he fits the trope so well...

florist asahi au. u are coworkers. for the longest time, you don't think asahi likes you because he's not the warmest around you tbh? like you get along okay because you're coworkers (although you do think hes rly cute--have u seen the way he carefully puts together arrangements?? he cares so much), but he's not super talkative with you (or with most people, but you swear you've heard him talk to yoshi and a couple other coworkers more than he's ever spoken to you). hyunsuk is the one whos just dropping massive hints that asahi Does like you, he's just too shy to say it.

its around valentines day that u stay rly late at the shop to work on orders tht ppl will be picking up. you fall asleep for a bit at ur station, just wanting a few minutes of rest, and when u wake up theres an energy bar and ur fave bottled drink waiting for you along with a note to rest well. u ask around to find out who left it, and everyone denies doing it. ur talking in the back with someone (jaehyuk maybe) about who it could possibly be and go through the entire list of ur coworkers. he asks why you skipped asahi, and you say tht asahi hates you. clearly he wouldn't do it.

asahi looks up from where he's wandered in for a moment and says he doesn't hate you. you point out tht his behavior says otherwise, and he just kinda implies that just bc ur not close friends doesn't mean he hates you outright. jaehyuk sitting there watching this :) knowing exactly why asahi never talks to you. jaehyuk waits until he leaves to be like "why don't you try talking to asahi more?" before saying something about how he can be awkward with people before he rly gets to know them. insert ppl switching to try and push u two together. insert jaehyuk also mentioning that asahi also gets awkward around ppl he rly likes too but hes a good dude, rly. u just kinda roll ur eyes like yeah ok whatever hes awkward i get it.

hes still quiet and not rly talkative toward you but you spot an energy bar in his bag one day while he's putting it up and its the same one tht was left for you. you confront him, he gets flustered and says it must have been a coincidence, and you push him on it further and ask why he would leave you things when he doesn't like you. he kinda gets at a loss for words, and it just suddenly clicks in ur mind that he doesn't hate you. he likes you. thts why jaehyuk literally gave u the answer. maybe some sort of teasing 'you shouldn't ignore ur crush then' before he outright asks if you're busy this weekend and if you want to go to the art museum w him.

[eternal-spiral-blog]

holy shit, where do i begin?

theres so many thoughts bouncing around in my brain recently it's been so difficult to formulate a voice to narrate my thoughts like i used to be able to have, but it's so hard now. it's hard to even make sense to myself. this post is sort of a diary entry.

i feel that i should make a separate blog for posts like this, something feels releasing about posting something into the void and not caring who sees or not, like a message in a bottle. i never thought i epuld have the problem of having too many eyes on it and being embarassed. but here i am. i have public links on my public website to yung-roachie, here. so i have no idea how many people come to my personal blog and see what i post here.

i'll start by just listing a few things that happened in my life recently. i got a job at a restaurant which was a catastrophic failure and was fired after 1 month. i do not want to go into the details but it was catastrophic. i cried in front of customers. i'm actually furious at myself for not being able to handle such simple tasks. i want to find another job but i feel like food service is not going to work out. i wish i could have tried harder. it's easy to say i fail at everything. but i do feel that i definitely struggle with things that most people find easy. i really wish it could have worked out but i can't give up.

the good thing is that i did make some money with this job, enough to pay rent and have a little left over.

i wish i could talk about this stuff anonymously but i feel that my online presence has become so public recently.

i havent drawn in what feels like a week but is probably 2.

i've been distracting myself with my pitiful javascript experimentations. recently i figured out how to automate uploading files to my server remotely.

ive cried so much due to so many stupid things in the past two weeks, i'm so pathetic. but crying feels good and certainly feels better than how i feel now, and now i feel like a tangled frayed mass of wires that are barely making connections.

the huge thing is that i owe so much art to people that i just have been avoiding but i need to face it and just do it. my mind keeps trying to steer me away from this but i just need to get back and just try to get as many done as possible as i can manage before may. i hate myself for letting this happen. i wish all of my debts would just disappear. theres so many angry people in my inbox wanting their art and i have kept avoiding it because i thought, i will look at it Tomorrow, every day. some people have been waiting over a year for art. the longer it takes, the worse i feel, the more i avoid and distract myself.

it's 4am. tomorrow i will try to get 5 commissions done. that is the goal. if i don't manage to do that, please kill me

i wish i could make it out of this soon, because more and more i feel so trapped. i rarely leave my room now. my roommate kicked me out of the living room so i cannot work in there anymore and have been confined to my room. it's very cramped and hard to get work done without feeling trapped.

i feel so trapped and confined and stagnant and stationary and i want to break free.

[voxxyboxxy]

Practicing in Secret

Table of Contents

I.Introduction

II.Practicing in Secret

not so Subtly

III.Personal Findings

Introduction

Theres a lot of reasons why someone may practice in secret. Whether it be for personal safety, on the other hand nd of just personal preference, or anything in between. You may find yourself now in a place where you need to/prefer to practice your path in a more secretive manner, or a more private matter. This post is going to detail many things that you can do to keep that secretive practice, while still doing many things that “aren’t so secret” in a way.

To elaborate, there’s a lot of things we do in the day that no one would question. It would just “be.” I mean, how often do you see a random person wearing a ring and go “That’s so peculiar Im going to ask them why they chose to wear jewelry!” Or see someone getting ready to eat and question why they’re eating? The chances are not many, unless it’s a specifically odd circumstance. (I mean, I would also wonder why someone was eating a five course meal in a back alley Lady and the Tramp style.)

So what are ways to practice in secret that aren’t really all that secret? Why would someone need to? How did es one go about it?

Practicing in Secret not so Subtly

So I already mentioned a few things, very briefly. Let’s dive into some wider and more detailed possibilities. We’ll start with the example: Eating.

Food is fuel. Whether you’re at work, home, school, etc, not many will question your choice to have breakfast, lunch, or dinner. But how does food play a role into your practice like this, and how does eating on your lunch break count as “secret?” There’s many ways to include these meals, even if public, with your practice. First one being Kitchen Witchin. Spices, Herbs, blends of all kinds have properties that you can bank on. And no one will think it’s witchcraft, they will simply thing you know your way around a seasoning bottle.

Then if you’re more on the religious side, there’s always dedicating a meal to an entity, or even possibly making food as an offering-but intended for your consumption. This one is a little different than the normal, but essentially making foods you know the entity enjoys, and “sharing” the meal. Leaving the last bite or so is another common practice.

Jewelry is another common everyday item that can be heavily related to our paths. For example, I wear rings often, and dedicate certain pieces to specific entities I work with. This can be an option even if the jewelry isn’t related to that entity in any outwardly manner! For example, Lord Mammon is linked to garnet, any garnet piece could be related to him, even if there is no outward sigil or sign it’s for him. No one questions when I wear rings, as I always have. I always tell people I fidget a lot and rings help me do so.

Another option for secret practice is art magic. I mean, who questions the real meaning behind art often? Usually if someone asks why you painted Aphrodite “I really like Ancient Greek statues!” Or if you painted something as a spell, no one is going to question a pumpkin painted around Halloween. Plus who doesn’t love to practice their skill? So when your cranking out drawings people will usually just assume you love to doodle, not that you’re some nefarious witch with a penchant for sacrificing children.

Personal Findings

So, I’ve listed a few items here, but there are so many more and so many that may be unique to you. I do things magic with makeup I wear, jewelry I wear, good I cook. It can be completely unique to you. You may find that practicing in secret is much easier than you ever imagined when you learn to put it in your own hands! These are so few in the grand scheme of how many options there are. And hopefully, this helps you feel like you have more wiggle room in your practice than you may of had before.

While I can talk about things I do and things I’ve seen others do, ultimately, you’ll be the best source on what does and doesn’t work for you!

[lord-shitbox]

entire ask game. send me asks too or ill bite you really ahrd

assuming you said this for the 'weirder asks' game. godbless

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

Gozu and mezu

lighter or matches?

I like lighters more but i only have a matchbox (the striking paper on it is shit anyways)

do you leave the window open at night?

ye

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

none

what color are your eyes?

brown

why did you do that?

do wot

hair-ties or scrunchies?

Hair ties

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

None. 2 glasses and a mason jar though 

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

Cold. on ice

would you slaughter the rich?

Idc about killing them i just want their wealth redistributed

favorite extracurricular activity?

Fucking around at the grocery store en masse

what kind of day is it?

Did not do a single piece of schoolwork but i did every other possible task

when was the last time you ate?

Within the hour. Had a bowl of rice on my desk

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

ya

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

no

can you drive?

no

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

nearsighted

what hair products do you use?

none

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

If you want me to ya

do you say soda or pop?

soda

something you’ve kept since childhood?

A lot of things. Stuffed animals, jewelry

what type of person are you?

chilling

how do you feel about chilly weather?

👍 but i prefer mild temperatures. The kind of just-barely cold that isnt really cold. I don’t like wearing lots of clothes

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

Depends on who you are. for u specifically, probly not much

perfume/body spray or lotion?

Mmmm…i dont own any body spray but i have mixed feelings about the texture of lotion. It’s not actually that bad but i don’t like putting wet stuff on me (same genre of sensory dislike as wearing lots of clothing)

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

Uh.. like daydream? There’s one i used to have but its really really edgy and embarrassing 

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

Last night, 12. On weekdays its like 6

do you wear a mask?

No sorry

how do you like your shower water?

warm

is there dishes in your room?

Yes leave me alone

what type of music keeps you grounded?

Heavy stuff. Like fast and hard noises. Nothing slow

do you have a favorite towel?

yeah

the last adventure you’ve been on?

Went 2 bowser movie wth an extended group of people last night and afterwards we walked to winco and did funny things in shopping carts

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

Tbh…no. Im really good at remembering song lyrics in general but i dont think there are any in particular i memorize

what’s your timezone?

Doxx me why don’t you

how many times have you changed your url?

Never <3

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

Uhh.. not really? Am not in much contact with childhood close friends (theres one ive seen a few times recently but we haven’t actually talked). I believe i’ve known tuna for upcoming 8yrs though

a soap bar that smells good?

I dont like bar soap i like the liquid kinds. Old spice

do you use lip balm?

During dry lip season (i forget when this is) my lips get dry as fuck 

did you have any snacks today?

ye

how do you take your coffee?

With ice and chocolate in it

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

Discord & instagram 

what’s your take on spicy foods?

yum (reasonable spice tolerance)

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

Nobody…i hate some people 2 death (i dont think about them so i forget who they are) but theyre not bothering me rn so idc

can you remember what happened yesterday?

Bowser moive

favorite holiday film?

Year without a santa claus (IM MR FREEZE MISER)

what was the last message you sent?

“so far i think the only red text thats restricted to origin is mhin's”

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

Idk ive had sips in young youth. Parents would give me some so i could go “wow this tastes nasty” and not crave any ever (they were right for this)

can you skip rocks?

I may have done it successfully like twice in my life

can i tag you in random stuff?

Ya sure

[pixiecaps]

I remember like, the first time I saw you. I hadn’t recognized your pfp, and after seeing it a few times on my dash I decided to click. After scrolling a bit, I came to the realization I had followed you on accident (something that happens plenty to me). I usually would’ve unfollowed, but you seemed just interesting enough for me not too. A few months later, I’m surprised when you follow me back, especially since I don’t make original posts, and am not ranboo-centric.

Nowadays, you’ve managed to become one of my favorite mutuals. I always get giddy when I see you in my notifications, and 90% of the time I make note to see what post you liked and/or reblogged. It’s the “I’m getting a good grade in reblogging, something that is both possible to achieve and normal to want.”

We aren’t close mutuals, though I definitely wouldn’t mind it. I’d love to send more asks, however I’m horrific at carrying conversations and also have some social anxiety that makes me nervous. I also don’t want to intrude, as previously mentioned we aren’t close mutuals, and I don’t want to be pushy or annoying, haha. And I would start by responding to some of the posts you make that expect responses, but I don’t refresh my dashboard enough to see them in time. And I don’t know if it’d be appropriate to ask for a discord, which I’m better at checking, because I know it’s usually used for friends.

All in all though, you are funny and witty, and I often to stop and read your posts when otherwise I’d scroll. I like your opinions when you do decide to get serious, and despite some non-common interests, you present them in such a way I can easily engage in anyways. I wish you lots of love and luck, take care of yourself, and keep your chin up, king!

(P.S. sorry for the rlly long message whoops, I hope I’m not too late to send this.)

helllooo anon i think this was for the ask game:0 im sorry i didnt see this hours ago im pretty sure you sent this around the time i went to sleep but yes hii hello!!

“interesting enough” LETS FUCKING GOOO. okay! i usually follow back people i’ve seen around a lot on dash or urls i recognize in my notifs!! i must have recognized you:)

thats so sweet thank you i appreciate it😭 also wanna thank you for sticking around the idea that you’ve grown to rlly be fond of me after accidentally following me is heartwarming

ah dude don’t worry about. look i started this blog because i had horrific social anxiety and my irls were encouraging me to make new friends!! so even though i was shaking and wanted to throw up (that bad ik) i started posting and slowly but surely it wasn’t as scary anymore. it takes time so you can take your time dont feel pressured to interact if you dont want to. that being said i don’t mind if people who arent “close mutuals” send an ask or dms me. you become a close mutual by doing these things ya know😭 oh!!!! you can ask for discord too!! all mutuals are allowed to :) i however suck at holding conversations too so be aware of that lmao

AW TY!! ehehe you like my takes🤭 genuinely though i try to stay away from discourse or serious topics cus it may come off intimidating and thats the last thing i want to come off as but im glad whenever i do make a few posts like that you found it easy to engage:) i will! i am trying my best to take care of myself and for u i shall hmmm i was gonna say go outside but i already have plans to do that so it’d be disingenuous. i’ll just drink a lot of water today 👍 omg have u ever noticed theres no water bottle emoji on ios. i wait every update to see if they added one but nope. i would use that emoji so much…

anon congrats on getting the award of longest ask ever sent BAHSJD i woke up and saw this and my eyes popped in a good way

( also adding this after i posted this. i know anons dont usually like their own asks to stay hidden so i need you to know you seem lovely:D )

[iamirissss]

Purging  harm reduction for us mia girls (and boys n enbies ofc) - copy and pasted from MPA with some tips of my own

Okay, to dispel some of the harmful “Pro-Eating Disorder” tips, I’m going to share a list of safety tips. Mainly since I know if I ask you to quit doing what you are, it will fall on closed ears.

1a. Somebody just messaged me with this, thank you to that person, this is a huge risk and very important!! vocal cord dysfunction, its fucking terrifying, i thought i was dying when it started happening to me. i’ve never purged, but my stomach sphincter is weak and stomach acid leaks into my throat daily. it burns my vocal cords, giving me VCD. it can happen to anyone who commonly has stomach acid coming in contact w/ the vocal cords. the sensation of VCD is similar to being strangled. the extreme constriction of the throat is terrifying. Laryngospasm is the worst form of VCD. were NO AIR gets through the vocal cords. you are literally choking at this point. you can help reduce the risk of developing VCD by drinking, eating or taking something to neutralize the acid in the throat. pepto bismol is honestly best for this, but milk or creamer also can work if you dont have it i really dont want people to have this happen to them and freak out because of it, since there is literally nothing you can do when it happens but stay calm and focus on doing breathing exercises but when you suddenly feel like your being strangled and your making a noise you’ve never made before, its really fucking hard to stay calm

1b. @strwbrrypoundcake reblogged with this and i thought it’s important to add: flushing" is horrible. Do not drink water in between to get it out. It dehydrates you even more and is not worth it.

Pro Anorexic sites say, to purge, you “Tie a small candy to a string, and swallow it, then pull it up and you can purge” THIS IS NOT TRUE: - What if it goes down the wrong hole? - You will choke. - It doesn’t work. At all. Don’t try. - According to a study, those who came into the emergency room for choking, a portion of them tried this method. It didn’t work and two people died.

DO NOT USE: - Spoons, Toothbrushes etc. Choking is prominent.

WASH YOUR HANDS RIGHT AFTER. The stomach acid will burn and damage you’re hands.

After you purge. Have an electrolyte replacing drink. Hydrolyte, Gatorade, Powerade, etc. You don’t want to have a heart attack. A girl in America, after being bulimic for only 6 months, was normal weight and died from a heart attack.

If you purge a tablespoon of blood, that’s enough to go to the ER.

Don’t use ipecac syrup. That stuff is death in a bottle! Seriously, they don’t even use it for poisoning anymore because so many people have died after taking it.

If you do purge regularly it is worth asking your doctor from time to time to have your blood electrolyte levels checked.

If you must purge, use a saline rinse and wash out your sinus cavities. Stomach acid and food particles can make it up into these areas and cause serious infections, chronic breathing problems, etc.

If you’re purging via laxative abuse: - 2 full glasses of prune juice is as effective as pills and is kinder to your body. - Eat things like grapes, oranges, cabbage to help the difficult process of weaning yourself off of laxatives. - Drink plenty of water. And do NOT be an idiot and take both lax and water pills, or you’re going to seriously dehydrate yourself and pass out.

If you feel dizzy or lightheaded stop immediately.

If you repeatedly blackout during/after purging, take a break for a few days if possible.

If you heart flutters during, stop immediately.

If you lose sensation in your legs and feet stop immediately.

After a purge, dissolve baking SODA in warm water. Gargle it, rinse your mouth, etc. Wait about 20mins then brush your teeth.

Do NOT brush your teeth right after a purge. It’ll actually rub the stomach acid into the enamel!!!

Helpful things: -avoiding acidic foods -avoiding spicy foods -drinking LOTS of water -avoiding soda and other carbonated drinks -avoiding or limiting caffeine consumption 

my own things to remember: 

make sure theres at least one person you know irl who knows in some capacity about ur ed in case something goes wrong and you need someone to talk to doctors for you

avoid purging things you’ve heard are hard to get up as they can be a choking hazard! these include bread, peanut butter and thick oatmeal.

DRINK WATER!!! lots and lots of water, before, during after

if you cant purge, up your cals for a few days if ur restricting, take a week long break or whatever, if you still cant, go to the doctor, something might be wrong

my biggest tip of all:

DONT PURGE!!! if you can help it

if theres any chance of recovery, recover! im just posting this because bulimia is a illness and not everyone has the chance to get better

[worworler]

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