#is this obsessive compulsive? maybe

[harmonicabisexuals]

rewatching the x files and have decided to keep a running list of whether or not a episode is worth watching or skipping, for my own sake so I don’t waste my time on future rewatches and also for anyone else who wants to get into it lol

[charon-cries]

when OTHER people try to distract or comfort themselves, they call it "coping" and "self-soothing," but when i do it, it's a "mental compulsion" and "you have OCD"

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

Seeing prats say they "got" OCD from ppl calling out literal racists and predators is so infuriating. You did not "get" OCD, it doesn't fucking work like that, you've just realized that people aren't gonna stand for your shit anymore and now you're scared of facing consequences and feeling guilty.

[themillipedeslaw]

A bit of a mental health tip from someone who experiences heavy paranoia especially at the end of the day / at night:

If you have paranoia, especially paranoia involving someone besides you / your housemates being in the building. Specifically any worry about the paranormal.

Do not get cheap auto-moving house cameras. Sometimes they move and face directions they are not supposed to regardless if you are moving in front of them, which could induce irrational paranoia.

[whywoulditho]

has anyone ever written a no capes DC AU where Jason's pit rages are switched into OCD/intrusive thoughts?? because that's a concept i literally can't get out of my mind. i tried to write a pit rage once and i noticed the way i'm describing it is a literal projection of my intrusive thoughts back when my ocd was that awful. so i thought i might try to write something like an OCD!Jason fic but if anyone's read something like that before please let me know!!

[miscreantahead]

I've always felt like Zolf and Wilde were the type who could be away from each other for any amount of time and their connection never begins to fade and when they see each other again whether it's been 12 hours or 12 months it's like the last time was yesterday. No matter how far away they go they'll keep coming back. (Which absolutely carries on into the afterlife too I'll have you know!!) But I've decided that once things really kick off Tjelvar and Carter are very different, attached at the hip at all times and when one's not there the other feels like something's missing.

[outeremissary]

9 People to Get to Know Better

Tagged by @kitabasis. Thanks! I'm doing this in bed, the sleepiest version

Last Song: uh. I opened my YouTube history to check what the last thing I listened to last night was and it's this. Does that... count as music??? If not 365 by Charli XCX

Favorite Color: dark blue

Currently Watching: Akuma-kun, very slowly, with a friend

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Depends on my mood...? I could go for spicy right now. On a related note there's a place near me that makes really really good hot chicken and waffles

Relationship Status: single

Current Obsession: organizing my dumb character playlist spreadsheet to make sure the YouTube playlists and their Spotify mirrors match and the chronological ones have the correct orders on Spotify

Last Thing You Googled: chess board. I was trying to not get murdered by lightning in Durlag's Tower. The dungeon really is That Good btw I'm ready to admit it. Although GOD the Ghost Tower of Inverness chess puzzle is brought down BADLY by RTwP. Imagine if this had a turn based mode the world could be so beautiful

I am NOT doing 9 but tagging @kuroimarzipan, @lizrich, @prettycatgirlwinter, and @bearvanhelsing, if you would like.

[halfpricedpages]

I feel paralyzed by the unknown.

recently ive come to the realization that I think I have OCD. it is something I pushed away for a while because I thought that horrible intrusive thoughts and obsessive involvement in patterns and all these other things I did were just regular anxiety or a symptom relating to my autism but then I started to think more about it and ive been taking so many fucking tests and every single one is like "yeah you have a moderate form of OCD" but I just think that im lying to myself and that really im fine.

ive always been self aware and so what is bullshit is that I know the obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors are irrational and so my brain is like "well if you know its irrational then you're just doing it for attention or you're just being dramatic and you dont have OCD". whether or not I have OCD I still have intense anxiety around these obsessive thoughts and compulsive bahvoirs and I think thats what counts.

more on the unknown: even if online tests tell me that I have OCD I cannot believe it unless a professional tells me. I really can't. because what if its wrong? it could be wrong and I could be just dramatic. this all really fucking sucks.

there is no moral of the story to this post or resolution I just felt the need to put it out there that I think I have OCD and it fucking sucks and im scared and if anyone else is feeling this way then we're scared together <3

[paging-possum]

was going to start writing an essay about the possible overlap between christianity and OCD and then I remembered im on Tumblr dot com and also a fucking idiot when it comes to putting things into words

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[for-the-love-of-javert]

I saw your post on how you think Javert may have Schizoid Personality Disorder, and whilst I'm not opposed to that Idea I was wondering if you considered Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (also known as OCPD, not to be confused with OCD), because I think it fits him to a T.

I am rolling that Idea around in my brain lol. I actuall didn't know that there was an Obsessive Compulsive Persanlity Disorder. I hear OCD so much I thought that was the the thing. bt alas I was wrong. I have read a little into OCPD and yes I think that is also a possibility or maybe a comorbidy of both SPD & OCPD. He definitely has obsessive tendanciesand they seem to be a part of how his brain is wired as opposed to something that can be treated and eventually managed/controlled. Though they wouldn't have had those kind of therapies etc back in the 1800's. I also think that besides anxiety, he was also depressive but hid it well.

He is for sure a very complex character. It's either these things which is something I'm exploring for fanfiction narrative and also how I have interpreted his personality so far from reading the book. Or the dude hated people, generally. I mean it would be understandable I have odd days when I find people loathesome for whatever reason.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

questioning NPD + diagnosed OCD culture is relating to almost everything you've ever read about NPD and having it affect your life in numerous ways, but the moment you don't relate to one tiny thing about it you second-guess yourself and tell yourself you're faking it for attention

.

[dumbponyboykinnie]

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER IS SCARY I WASHED MY HANDS SO MUCH THAT THET GOT SO DRY THAT CRACKED TILL BLOOD AND I DONT HAVE HAND CREAM OR ANYTHING AND IM JUST IN PAIN

[papermint-airplane]

I haven't had an intrusive thought that has caused actual panic in a long time. I've gotten really good at facing my intrusive thoughts and being like "you're an intrusive thought and I'd like you to go ahead and shut the fuck up". That sounds unhinged af but that's an actual legitimate strategy that therapists tell people with OCD and anxiety (like me) to use. And it works well after a certain point (getting to that point is its own battle though). Now I can shut them down fairly quickly so they don't cause as much distress as they used to.

Sometimes, though, some of them slip through my defenses and make me have A Very Bad Time™. This is one of those times.

Hit the cut if you're interested in how I combat these.

Last night, as I was laying in my bed trying to sleep, my OCDemon was like, "I'm going to ruin this bitch's whole life". I knew, I just knew that a car or low flying plane or something was going to crash through my bedroom window and game-end me right then and there. That is extremely unlikely to happen for multiple reasons I don't think I even need to enumerate to people whose brains don't hate them, but I was so sure it was going to happen and I was going to die.

I fought it the way I've been taught. Facts and logic, baby. "My bedroom does not face the road". Check. "In order for a plane to hit my house, they'd have to be flying so low that I would hear it coming and have time to respond in some way". Check. "I need to sleep. I have work tomorrow and there's nowhere else for me to sleep. I have to be here." Check.

It didn't work right away. It never does. I had to keep going over and over it in my head while forcing my body to lie still. At this point, the fight or flight mode had already kicked in. I was shaking, feeling irritable, feeling scared, heart beating super fast and skipping beats, sweating, all your classic physical symptoms. I wanted to get up and get as far away from that bed as I could, but I held myself down. I kept repeating the facts. "You're not in any danger. Nothing is coming through that window."

Eventually, I relaxed enough to sleep but it must have been fitful. I don't remember anything because I was zonked out but I woke up to my sheets and pillows halfway on the floor so I must have thrashed around like a dying fish all night.

I am exhausted and I'm still feeling a heightened sense of anxiety, but it's way more manageable right now. I just keep wanting to check the news which is unfortunately an OCD compulsion of mine whenever I'm feeling anxious because I guess my brain wants a reason to be anxious. Wouldn't ya know it, this shitty world loves to give it those reasons. Lucky me. I am fighting it as much as I can. My rule is no checking more than twice a day (I will literally do it hundreds of times during a bad flareup) and if it gets too bad, I have to text my therapist. I'd rather not bother him off-hours so this means I'm fighting my existential dread with my fear of being a nuisance lmao.

This is rough and anyone else going through this, I am right there with you. It sucks not being able to trust your own thoughts. It sucks having to fight your own body. If I had a cure, we'd all be fucking cured right now. But all I have is an arsenal of techniques that work just barely at best and not at all at worst. All you can do is keep fighting.

I need a nap.

[mainfaggot]

so anxious while wide awake -> it feels like i will explode into smithereens vs. so anxious while fatigued -> it feels like i will dissolve into a pile of vibrating dust particles. if u know what i mean

[peemil]

if i'm going to be so honest i think right now more than anything i would really benefit from cooking something savory from scratch however i do not have the spices i would need to do so :(