#it does NOT help that we usually order the identical meal and have the same phone case

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is telling most people you're in a monogamous relationship so people don't try to ask you out or set you up on dates

.

[artzee-bee]

Now and for eternity| Lucifer Morningstar x reader

Fandom: Lucifer ( netflix)

Request:” Can you write an imagine where Lucifer’s wife is like this well known social light that owns her own luxury fashion brand and she starts receiving gifts from an obsessed secret admirer and Lucifer is unknowingly being targeted by the secret admirer who is trying to kill Lucifer in order to get the reader and Lucifer thinks it’s his father trying to ‘strike’ him down for some unknown reason until Chloe point out someone that correlates with the readers secret admirer and Lucifer’s attacker. Feeling some type away about it Lucifer decides to taunt the secret admirer by upping the PDA and romantic gestures getting a kick out in it much to Chloe’s dismay. And once the secret admirer is caught Lucifer rubs it in their face that the reader is his for now and all of eternity before showing the secret admirer his true face. ”

Genre: fluff? I guess

Warnings:death threats, stalking, attempted murder

~~~

It wasn’t unusual to receive gifts and flowers at your office. After all, with the job you worked and the wealthy people you collaborated with, the presents simply represented one of the many perks of being a designer. Except, one friday morning, while examining a particularly beautiful bouquet of pink lilies, you noticed the little card that came with it

“I know they are some of your favorite - <3 “

Usually, work associates would leave a name. Some way for you to know that they value your work and are thinking of you (and maybe to flatter you into giving them a discount), but there was no name on this card, just a tiny heart in a glittery, pink gel pen. Pink lilies were, indeed, your favorite.

You brought the flowers home and told your husband, Lucifer, all about the mysterious gift. You had talked to your secretary and even she didn’t know where the flowers came from, since no one came to drop off lilies that morning. You presumed the sender must have simply forgotten to sign the card, and perhaps your secretary had forgotten about them, with the busy morning she’d had. You and Lucifer had a laugh, imagining the shy and anxious intern that was probably assigned the job, and the scolding they’ll get when their boss finds out about their mistake.

The next morning, a box of your favorite chocolates were waiting for you on your desk. There wasn’t any note, just the same heart, written in the same glitter pen. You dismissed it as a weird coincidence and moved on to working on your designs.

Without you knowing, this also happened to be the first time Lucifer would be faced with a very interesting note. As he was getting ready to leave the police station, he noticed a piece of yellow paper, stuck to his windshield

“Back off of Y/N. Consider this your first and last warning” no signature. Anyone in Lucifer’s place would have lost their shit, but he paid it no mind. He was the devil after all! If anyone wants to take his precious Y/N away from him, well, they can try. It would make things all the more fun. He folded the paper and stuffed it in his pocket before heading home.

The couple shared Y/N’s chocolates that night, talking about who this person might be. Lucifer wasn’t as amused as he had been the night before, if anything he was rather concerned but he didn’t want to say anything about the note to Y/N, because she would freak out. 

Nothing really happened for the next week. Anonymous gifts stopped showing up at Y/N’s office, Lucifer didn’t get any more notes and things were falling back in their place, until the day right after Y/N’s latest photoshoot went public and viral. It was all to promote her upcoming clothing line. As soon as she walked into the office the next day, she spotted a red, velvet box, the size of a notebook, in the middle of her desk. On top of it, a note written in the same glittery pink as the other gifts

“Congratulations on your new line. Those photos are gorgeous - J.P. <3”

Inside the box was a gorgeous diamond necklace, looking like it was worth millions. If you hadn’t been concerned about the sudden apparition of all these gifts so far, you sure were now. You immediately called your husband to tell him about the mysterious jewelry, but he didn’t pick up. Unbeknown to you, he was busy ranting to detective Decker.

“I mean, not to be dramatic, detective, but the situation does feel like it’s spiralling out of control. Death threats, sure, those come every other weekend, kind of like fanmail, y’know? But actual gun shots fired at my head, well, that’s where I draw the line.” he ended with a giggle. Lucifer was leaning on Decker’s desk as she was examining the bullet casings Lucifer had brought her from his apparent ‘attempted assasination’

“Where did this happen again?” she said, not taking her eyes off of her work

“Right by that coffee shop ms. Lopez always talks about. I may have lost a bet to her the other day and have to get her coffee for the rest of the week, so I was just exiting the shop when a masked man in a dark blue BMW zoomed by, pointing his gun at me and shooting blindly. I mean, that is the most basic attemp at murder I have ever witnessed. At least make it interesting!”

“Lucifer, if someone is out for your life, it’s serious business”

“Why would it be? It’s not like I can actually die, detective! Plus, it’s probably not that deep anyways. Just, dear old dad coming after me again for no particular reason. Very characteristic of him.”

“ You’re getting ahead of yourself. Whoever sent this wants you and Y/N apart, why would your dad want that?”

“Because he’s a prick who disagrees with everything and anything that makes me happy?” Lucifer concludes with an innocent smile “And, of course, Y/N being moral, our marriage goes against the heavenly rules of the almighty, so he’s trying to break us apart, but worry not detective! Me and Y/N are stronger and more in love than ever. My father will simply have to accept that. Nothing will break us apart” he said, puffing his chest out with confidence

“That’s good to hear Lucifer, but I still think we should stay open to different possibilities”

“Oh, come on detective, that would be a waste of our time. I know my father better than anyone, believe me when I tell you this is his hand and no one else's. Case closed! Now, let’s move to the next one! Chop chop detective, murders won’t solve themselves!” Lucifer said, marching out of the precinct. Chloe rolled her eyes at her partner, before hiding the bullets and the note in her desk and going after him.

Although it didn’t bother you, you couldn’t help but notice how much more touchy Lucifer had been with you, ever since the necklace incident. He needed to touch you at all times: when you were out for coffee, at lunch, at the station, in your office, in Lux. His hand was always either around your waist or tangled in yours. You felt sort of bad, thinking he must be a little insecure with this secret admirer being after you at all times, but you wanted him to know that you loved him more than anything and that no matter what, you would never leave him for a faceless man, no matter how many pearls and chocolates he bribes you with. And so, you decided to play along with him, giving him as much attention as you could. Your visits at the station almost doubled, you always cleared your schedule to make time for him and even decided to start work later in  the day than usual, so you could spend more time with him in the morning. 

One afternoon, as you were enjoying your time with Decker and Lucifer during their lunch time, one of the notes from your secret admirer slipped out of your pocket. You didn’t realise it until Chloe picked it up

“Oh, I was going to throw that out”

“Where’s this from?” she asked, studying the note

“Just one of this week's gifts” you confessed awkwardly. Without a second thought, the detective reached for her drawer, pulling out another note from inside and inspecting them side by side. Eventually, she placed them both in front of Lucifer

“Notice something interesting about the writing?”

“They are remarkably similar…”

“More like identical”

“What is that?” you asked, looking at the unknown note. Your heart sank as you read it

“I’ll explain everything at home dear, I swear” Lucifer said

“You’ve received death threats because of me?”

“I’ll tell you everything at home, I promise”

“You have initials…” Decker noticed

“Yeah, ever since my photoshoot, they’re present on every package”

“What floor is your office on again?”

“5th, why?”

“How can someone enter your office every morning without anyone, not even your secretary noticing, and exit just as mysteriously?” “Unless he found a different way in” Lucifer replied

“My window” you realise “You can step out directly onto the emergency staircase from there”

“He knew when to sneak in without being seen, so he must have known your schedule like the back of his hand. Who could know?”

“The only people who know it are my secretary and Lucifer”

“A stalker?” your husband suggested

“Maybe” Decker turned quickly to her computer “I’m going to check any business owners around that neighbourhood who could have had a close shot of when you enter and exit your studio, see if any initially match the ones on the notes. We’ll go from there” 

You thanked Chloe for the help and went home with Lucifer, who spent the entire car ride explaining the note to you and the events of the previous days. You were angry at him for keeping all of it away from you, but ultimately happy that he was safe. You spent the night drinking wine and rewatching all of your comfort movies, to calm your nerves.

You decided to try working from home for the next couple of days, too scared by the idea of a stranger following your every move. It was a challenging process but Lucifer did his best in helping you get accustomed to this new routine. His homemade meals could not compare to anything you would eat while in a meeting with your business associates. Plus, the company was much more delightful.

Chloe texted you, almost a week later, to come down to the station as quickly as possible. They had found the guy. You hopped into your car and when you finally arrived, Lucifer was waiting for you outside

“They found him?” 

“Yes dear, they did”

“How?”

“Well, as it turns out he lived in the apartment building next door. His living room window had a great view of everything happening in your office. We’ve found a week’s worth of gifts he was planning to deliver. It’s him for sure” 

“Thank you” you whispered before collapsing into Lucifer’s arms and hugging him tight

“It’s alright lovely. It’s over now. Let’s go see how the detective is handling it. I think they’re in the interrogation room now.”

From behind the glass, you watched the man that threatened your marriage and your husband's life, confess to everything. Admit to stalking you, in order to learn your schedule. Break into your office and open fire on Lucifer. More than enough to get him behind bars for a long time. Decker and Lucifer got up and were ready to leave, but your husband requested a couple of minutes alone with the man. The detective agreed, cautioning him to not do something stupid, before leaving them alone. Lucifer turned on his heels to face the man in handcuffs and you could instantly tell he was furious

“Truly an honorable try. Y/N is one of a kind, you were right about that, the only detail you missed is that, you see, she’s taken. By me” the mischievous smile on his face let you know that he was up to no good “Our bond is indestructible and it’s really laughable to think that you’ve risked so much to tear us apart when you didn’t stand a chance to begin with” Lucifer leaned over the table, now his back was facing you “Me and Y/N are, and forever will be, together. There is nothing you or anyone else can do to change that. She is mine and I am hers, now and for eternity” as his little speech came to an end, you noticed the man in handcuffs go pale with terror. He began shaking in his chair, screaming incoherently about the devil. Even tho you hadn’t see what your husband did, you could tell by the man’s reaction. You laughed to yourself, not even mad that Lucifer had used his devil face against this man. You would have done the same if you had the option.

[travellingarmy]

║Venti║Sensitive

Requested from Wattpad.

Female reader as requested.

Warning: Usage of words such as "fat" and "ugly". I don't know about this one, but it will also mention anorexia.

Remember: All of you are beautiful and don't let anyone say otherwise.

Angst. Fluff.

Word count: 2.6k

---

You, on all counts, are very sensitive to the words spoken by others of you. You can't help it but worry about your impression of others, but this did not mean that you faked your identity in front of others. You had wonderful friends as well whom you are sure are the truest of all.

"Hey, (Y/N), wanna go on a mission with me?" Mondstadt's most famous Outrider, Amber, jogged up to you with excitement reflecting off of their eyes. "Ah, well, I don't have anything to do.. Alright, I'll join you," you said which made the female really happy. "Good. I was about to persuade you to some food if you didn't," she laughs. "Let's make this quick since an Outrider still has other things to do."

"But you'll still give me remuneration, right?" you ask, half-joking. "Haha, of course! I'll treat you when I have time, and that's a promise!" You and the Outrider had a little laugh and left the city to clear a couple of hilichurl camps around the premises. She thanked you afterwards and repeated her promise before waving you off as she goes and attends to her other tasks. Now that you were free, you decided to go and meet a special someone and ask if they'd like to join you for a meal since you don't like eating alone-- and you know for sure where they were loitering around at the moment: the tavern.

"Please, Master Diluc? Just one~ I'll play a song for your tavern." You opened the door to Angel's Share to see the person you had been looking for trying to negotiate with the tavern's owner. The male behind the counter notices your entrance and brings his attention to you, ignoring the bard. "(Y/N), what can I do for you?" he asks, completely dismissing the shorter male beside him. "Ah, nothing. I'm loitering around, really," you say, sitting down beside the never-stopping-pleading male.

"Well, since you're here, could I ask you a favour and help me get this guy here to leave?" Diluc asks, referring to no one else but the one who is sitting beside you. "He's being quite the nuisance."

"Eh? I promise I'll leave if you just accept the exchange!" Venti cries. "I am the most famous bard of Mondstadt, I will surely attract more customers for you!" Diluc shooks his head and sighs, turning to look at you once more. "Please, help me out?"

You cracked a smile. "Of course, Master Diluc! Now, let's go Venti." You got out of your seat and pull him along from the collar on his back, all the while hearing Venti's cries for his wine. "Aw, (Y/N), you could have helped me out back there," Venti pouts when the two of you were a good foot away from the sight of the tavern. "You should have your own money. Honestly, how are you surviving without mora exactly?" you questioned, earning yourself a mischievous giggle from him.

Sighing, you dismiss the topic altogether. "Alright, why don't I treat you to something else other than wine? It's always wine this, wine that anyway," you say. "Mm, as long as it's with you!" He smiles and the two of you went to Good Hunter for a small meal. Since you did just come back from a mission, you order quite a lot, but not too much to make you look like a glutton. "It's a shame they don't sell wine here." The bard pouts. You laugh at your friend and shaking your head-- it was always wine with him.

"Maybe you should do something else other than singing and make money out of it?" you suggested, earning yourself an 'are-you-kidding-me' kind of look from the male. "Anyway~" he changes subjects. "What is the deal with you stuffing your face up so much?" He laughs at your adorable face that was buried with food and rests his cheeks on one of his fists.

"But you'll still like me when I'm fat, right?" you ask, stuffing yet another delicacies into your mouth. The bard giggles at the cute question and decided to play a little joke on you to see a reaction. "Hm, I don't know.." he starts, grabbing your full attention. "I mean, I guess I might still love you since you already kind of are.. " Unbeknownst to him, you were actually hurt by the 'joking' words and made you self-aware, but you weren't going to show it to him. Although you know it was a joke, you don't know if he'd actually still love you when you're 'ugly'. Right now, it might just be empty words, but who knows if his views will remain the same when that time actually comes?

You have noted that every time you go shopping for clothes, the size seems to be getting bigger, but you didn't really think much about it then. You sat in silence, pushing away the food as Venti goes on chatting about. He didn't even notice how you haven't touched your food since the comment when the two of you left Good Hunter or your quietness throughout the day. It was saddening, but didn't say a word about it.

"Um, I think I should be going home now, Venti," you say weakly, eyes not once looking up from the ground you were so familiar with. "Hm? Oh, okay, good night then!" Venti says and kisses your cheek before you walked the opposite direction of your house.

You walked all the way to your room, not turning on a single light and lied down on the bed, not changing your clothes as you crept underneath your blanket and curled into a ball, allowing depressing thoughts into your head. Maybe you should change your style? If you were wearing larger clothes that hides your body, that might make him think you are gaining weight, or so you think to yourself. Then, you'll just have to change and make him see the best sides of you.

And so, the next day when you went out, you wore clothing you never thought you would- let alone other's. You wanted to prove that you haven't gained weight by exposing much more skin, but still keep yourself comfortable. People gawked when you pass them out on the streets, a bit disturbed by your sudden change of clothing. It wasn't wrong to do so and they understand that people will change their style, but to the extent that you were on?

"My, look who we have here," a cool and smooth voice of a man comes and greets you. You look to your right and see none other than the Cavalry Captain of Mondstadt with his usual smirk on his face. He stares down at your smaller stature and snickers. "A sudden change of style, I see."

"Does it look bad?" you question. "Well, I wouldn't say it looks bad. Let's just say it's quite new to me," he says and shrugs. "Say, what is the reason for the sudden change anyway? Suddenly got bored of the former?"

You honestly knew that someone will ask you about it, but didn't want them to know. It was quite embarrassing. "Yeah, I guess," you said, not meeting the captain's eye. You had a habit of not looking directly at the person when you are either trying to hide something or lying and people had caught on to that, which was a huge giveaway that something is up for the all-knowing Kaeya. "Oh? This is interesting," Kaeya says to himself. Hearing him, you look up to meet the gaze of the male who only chuckles and ruffles your hair a bit. "I have to go do some cavalry work. I will see you later, (Y/N)," he says, his back now facing you, a hand raised. He took no more than two steps before looking over his shoulder and smiles at you. "Oh, remember one thing: don't let others' words get you down." You weren't sure what he was getting at, but you couldn't ask him as he was now further from you.

"(Y/N)?" Another voice calls your name and you turned around to see none other than the famous bard of Mondstadt- Venti. "Oh, wow! It really is you. I almost didn't recognize you from your back because how different you look," he says, scratching his head and chuckling awkwardly. "It seems like something is off about you..?"

This was the moment of truth. Will he see it or not? "Does it look bad?" you ask, looking at his eyes for some sort of answer. He inspects you, which made you kind of embarrassed. You want him to never leave you alone, so that is the reason for the clothes. If you could prove that you are worth staying by his side, you are more than willing to change. "Ah! So, you've change your clothes.." he finally says, though it didn't seem like he was happy about it.

"Hehe, I think you should go back wearing your old clothes, (Y/N)," he says, "because now everyone can see how chubby you've become." He laughs, pulling the skin of your cheeks in a playful manner. You, however, didn't feel like going back now. You want Venti to stay by your side forever and make it so that he won't be ashamed of his lover to the point he rather not be caught dead with you. You had to change. You have to lose weight.

And so, that day was the last day anyone has seen you around. At first, no one was concerned and thought you had other things to do that was taking up your time, but when two weeks went and no one has seen you around, they start to worry. The guards at the gate had said that they haven't seen you left- just in case you went on a mission without their knowledge. Your Knights of Favonius friends were the first to worry. Venti, however, kept on saying how you were probably fine while drinking away at Angel's Share.

"I think you should go check on her," Diluc says behind the counter, cleaning a glass while his back is turned towards the bard. "Eh? Why?" the shorter male questions. "Aren't you her lover? If so, you should check on her since she is obviously locking herself in her house." Venti was about to say something back, but decide to choke it down with a drink. Deep down, he was worrying as to why you aren't stepping outside. He had gotten lonely.

He got off the stool and left the tavern. Diluc turns around and heaved a sigh of irritation, forgetting to remind the bard, again, to pay for his drink.

Venti was at the foot of your door. He sees that your light were off, even through the curtains, before knocking lightly on the wooden door. "(Y/N)?" he calls out, but was answered to silence. He did not wait to knock a second time and got out a spare key that was entrusted to him by you. When he opened the door, he was greeted with the coolness of the air and silence. The furniture was clean and in place, yet it lacked the warmth from its owner. He walked to your room, but was greeted by an unused bed. However, it was a mess-- meaning to say that you are indeed home.

Eventually- to his horror and ache- he found you sitting down beside the toilet, back against the wall and eyes closed. "(Y/N)!" he shouts your name and quickly walked to your side, kneeling to see your pale face. He put his ear close to your face and was relieved that you were breathing, worried you might not have been when seeing as your bones were seeming as though it were about to pop out.

He carries you to your room and lie your body on the bed and stayed by your side until you woke up to get answers from you. How come you were in this state, he questioned himself. He was worried but thought nothing of that feeling in the pit of his stomach telling him to go check on you. He thought you were fine, but to his guilt, you weren't.

When your eyelids fluttered open, his heart never felt any lighter as it was now. "(Y/N)!" The tears that had slowly crept, was finally trailing down his cheeks. "Venti..?" The call of his name made it so irresistible to hug you, so he did. "What happened to you?" he asks, his voice cracking.

Staring at his face, you felt ashamed. You had locked yourself inside without light, food, or water and constantly vomiting everything out. Knowing this, you push him away and stare down at the mattress.

Venti was hurt upon seeing as you pushed him away, but that doesn't mean he would stop there. "Hey, let's get you something to eat. You look like you're malnourished," he says. You didn't say anything so he took it to go and make food for you in the kitchen before returning to your side once more. "Here, I've made you soup, so open up," he says, moving the spoon close to your lips, urging you on to open up. Soup may not be enough to return you from your pale and frail state, but it was easy for you to gulp it down. He has also chopped some meat into little pieces to help nourish you.

You refused, not looking at him. He sighs and looks at you sadly. "Please, (Y/N)?" The way his voice was tainted with sadness made your heart ache. You ate it obediently, but immediately coughed it out, the food now on the floor opposite of where he was at, sitting down on the bed with you. "(Y/N)!" He puts down the spoon in the bowl and put his free hand on your back. Your body was too weak that your system can't even take in food, which worried the male. "Can you please tell me why you're like this?" he pleads, another wave of tears forming his eyes.

You were hesitant, but you would feel that ache if you see him tear up again. "I.. I want you to stay with me forever," you finally confessed. He was confused- you could see it in his eyes. "Why would I ever leave you?" he asks.

"Of what you said.. Two weeks ago.. I don't want you to be ashamed of me and leave me," you continued, answering his question. He recalls the joke from then and felt guilty and ashamed. "I, I'm sorry for what I said.. I was joking about it, but I guess it hurt you," he says. "What I said then, please don't take it to heart."

"What I said were empty words. Even if you were to become chubbier, I would never leave you for the world nor would I be ashamed of you. I love you for who you are and not what you look like." The words comforted you and you finally look at Venti. His eyes were stained of tears, but he pulled of the smile that was reserved for you only. "Let's finish this, alright?" He hints at the soup. You nodded quietly and tried your best to finish the food.

"Once you're feeling better, let's go eat every food you want to eat, okay?" he says, watching you ear the food obediently. You smiled and nodded at the suggestion. Throughout that day- after finishing the food- he stayed and cuddled with you whilst reassuring how much he loves you.

---

[fukurodaze]

if i ever get lost

pairing/s: third year!haiba lev x gn!reader genre: fluff, romantic tension aka best and softest tension word count: 3.2k warnings: like, one curse word this was also requested by anon! “3rd year Lev w a reader who’s struggling to pass all their homeworks, projects and quizzes (bc they piled up their works ;;) while thinking of how should they study for college/uni entrance exams?”

special thanks to nat @natszoo​ and ellie @lcnelyinthesky​ for beta reading and helping me w this!! 

LISTEN TO: somebody loves you - jeremy zucker; glitter - benee

lowercase intended!

you throw your head back when you forget the term written on the flip side of the flash card haiba lev is holding. it’s a friday night, far past anyone’s bedtimes, but final exams for the first semester start on monday and you’re not sure where to start. haiba lev, being the person who has nothing better to do, agreed to come over and flip cards with random kanji, english, and biology terms on it.

lev might also be here because it’s an open secret that he’s liked you since first year, and you’ve never answered to his feelings, but you’re thinking friends for now - until you memorise all of this semester’s kanji, english vocabulary, and biology terms, that is.

“the phospholipid bilayer is made up of...”

lev gives you time to think, his wide eyes going between the answer on the card and your thinking face.

“shit, uh, the phospholipid bilayer is made up of two layers of phospholipids?”

“makes sense, but no.” lev answers, flipping the card to show you.

“the phospholipid bilayer is made up of a polar, hydrophilic area containing a phosphate group bound to glycerol, and a non-polar, lipophilic area containing fatty acids...” you read aloud, trying to memorise what’s currently going out your mouth, in one ear, and out again through another ear.

“you know, your flash cards are pretty comprehensive.”

you raise an eyebrow, “is that... a good thing?”

“i mean, yes and no,” he takes another sip of the tea your mom had insisted to bring to guests, “it’s harder to memorise, but it’s better for details. but-”

“but?” you watch as he takes another sip. 

“i think if you really don’t know where to go, just understand the basic concept of everything. for one - what is the function of the bilayer?”

“why do you sound smart?” you question, tilting your head jokingly.

“hey! i am smart! most times! with tests like these that have essay questions, you just gotta learn the basic concept of each term and connect them.” lev advices, recounting his former volleyball captain and nekoma high school alumni, kuroo tetsuro’s, words when lev himself was barely scraping past his first semester finals when he’d just transferred.

“easier said than done in two nights,” you slouch your head on your desk, “plus! it’s not just biology. or exams.”

if memorising all these terms in the span of two days sounds bad enough, you’re still crushed with the supplementary course work and projects due next week as well. 

you let out a deep groan. you’re so tired. it’s like biology information only comes up when you’re studying for english, biology only coming up for modern literature, and mathematics somehow being inserted into the little unknown kanji in modern literature. it’s all too much at once.

“it’s all too much at once, huh?” lev places his head on your desk, only a few inches away from your face. normally, you’d push him away, pull your head back up, or maybe even give him a light slap on a bad day, but today you welcome him. 

you nod, quiet. you haven’t been able to get a breather. it’s essay this, quiz that, lab report here, test there. your mind is blank.

now, lev sits back up on the extra chair from your dining room, “have you eaten dinner?”

“why are you asking... it’s like, midnight.”

“the question still stands.”

you sigh, “nope.”

lev hums. he takes a pen, then twirls it, like his fingers possessed polar magnets that somehow let the pens never fall from his hands. but it does eventually, and when it falls with a plastic click on your wooden desk, lev visibly takes a big breath and says, “do you want to get ramen?”

you exhale through your nose and smile. “are you asking me out, haiba?”

“is it inappropriate to ask you out now?”

damn this tall dork. come to think of it, he’s never actually asked you out despite the obvious ways he’d vouch for your attention in the past. you’re quite surprised, frankly, as he’s always been so loud in the ways he’s wanted to be with you but never really made it seem like anything was going to happen. 

but, hey, it’s late enough for you to put down your doubts about him away. after all, he’s been in your room for four hours, just helping you study. he wasn’t even studying himself - he just sat there, doing almost nothing. and for a guy like him, you wonder how he’s managed to keep there for so long.

“sure.”

lev’s eyes widen. “wait, really?”

“yeah,” you begin to set aside all your study materials, “we can go to a twenty-four hour place in the city, too.”

“alright! let me get you your coat!”

“my coat?” you raise an eyebrow when he hands you the coat you wear the most, feeling both flattered and slightly surprised that he recognises it straight away from your messy room. the boy comes to retreat his coat as well from one of the hangers in your room, and he even offers to get you your socks and boots.

“alright, alright, you don’t have to be that ready to go,” you joke. 

he makes sure there is no noise when you two walk out of your house, through the suburbs of tokyo and to the nearest train to the city. 

“aren’t you two a bit young to be here so late?” the shopkeeper, an old lady, mutters under her breath. you catch it through her croaky voice when you and lev enter the place together, but you pay no attention because all you care to focus on is the smell of broth and your empty stomach.

“for two, please,” lev says, undoubtedly hearing the woman’s remark, but answering with a smile. she smiles too, and so do you, and it makes you remember all the times he’s smiled and you’ve wanted to either punch him or hold his hand. 

today just happens to be one of those days where you want to hold his hand. you shake the thought off.

when you two are seated at the ramen bar, your head falls onto your palm, tilting back to face lev, his chin covered partly by his usual maroon scarf. you had whispered to him earlier on the train what you wanted to order, and lev quickly speaks to the waiter as your tired gaze rises from from the squiggly wooden patterns embedded in the polished wooden table to the boy that’s sitting right next to you. 

at first glance, you remember haiba lev’s face to be satisfying to look at. you remember when he had just transferred to your class in the first year, and you developed the annoying habit of looking forty-five degrees to the right every time you were bored in class, as you thought his face was much easier on the eyes than complex quadratic equations or japanese history. 

for a while you wondered if it was because he certainly looked different - not only was he practically a giant, but he had eurocentric features that stood out from the majority of the student body as well (it also didn’t help that he quite literally and figuratively filled any room he was in). though, maybe, after a while, when everyone got used to the sight of a new face, you kept your line of sight at a forty-five degree angle, just peering above his cheekbones. the same way you’re looking at him right now.

and really, the only word for it is handsome. dashing. good-looking. you’ve always known that, but now that you put it into words in your head, you notice the chiseled jaw, pointed nose and emerald green eyes feel a bit more-

“what you staring at?” his baritone voice cuts through your thoughts cleanly.

you don’t like where this conversation will go. “haiba, are you doing any college entrance exams?”

lev cocks his head to one side, thinking, before nodding, “i think i am. why?”

“how are you studying for them?”

lev clicks his tongue, and it brings you to surprise, “get your mind away from studying! we’re not here in the city at, like, one in the morning to talk about college entrance exams!”

you sigh, “okay, fine. but, still, answer my question?”

“i just do practice problems for twenty minutes every day,” lev shrugs, “okay, now, can we move away from studying?”

you hum lazily, watching as two bowls of ramen arrive at the bar. he had ordered what you told him you wanted to order, both bowls almost identical in smell, shape, size, and content. almost, because lev didn’t have any spring onions in his bowl.

“haiba,” you call, earning a quick call of your name in response, “do you not like spring onions?”

lev nods so obviously that he seems proud. his chopsticks mix the entire bowl together before picking up the half-boiled egg and eating the slice whole. when he swallows it down, he asks you, “you noticed.”

“i mean, yeah,” you reply, “why do you not like them? they’re like, essential.”

lev takes a slurp of his noodles, and then a spoonful of the broth, “i just never liked their texture - which is funny, since my entire family loves adding spring onions.”

now it’s your turn to slurp into your ramen, one bite turning into two, and two turning into the entire content of the bowl. lev seems to eat twice as fast, seemingly having a strategy to cooling down the hot noodles on his spoon while simultaneously folding a piece of pork charsiu in between the loops of each spoonful of noodles, making sure that the little wrap is bathed in a little bit of broth. you find yourself smiling at his act, almost like he has a system of his own when it came to eating ramen - well, he usually had a system of his own when doing just about anything.

the meal is quiet for the most part, with little mumbles of how your tea needs a refill and the ruffling sounds between sheets of tissue to wipe off the broth around your lips. it’s fulfilling, and the look on lev’s face says he’s happy too.

when you two make it out of the ramen bar, 1am feels the same as 9pm. somehow, you’re no longer the kind of sleepy you were when you were flipping through flashcards on your desk, and instead, you’re almost dreading to go home. you think it might also be the neon lights, but there’s some kind of electricity you’re not yet willing to let rest for the night.

luckily, lev doesn’t feel the need to rush. although his steps are big and his voice is loud, he takes his time when you two make the silent agreement to make the walk to the train station as long-winded as possible. his voice is lower, and softer, this time, and when he speaks to you about his friends from his old school, you convince yourself it’s the most interesting topic in the world - because it is. because it’s lev.

when he stops in his tracks, you stop too, watching him go into a small trinket shop you’ve always seen but never had the means to afford to go in. you reckon you might own something from this store, though.

“haiba, you like little trinkets?” your eyes scroll through the shelves of delicate and virtually useless items, eyes landing on a small lion cub made of clear resin with a small blob of gold floating in the middle of its clear body. you’re not usually drawn to any animal trinkets, as you’ve gotten used to decorative objects like bows or feathers or lace, but today you think about the lion cub. despite it looking severely overpriced, you take it in your hand anyway, not noticing lev’s figure coming right behind you.

“do you want that one?” you yelp in surprise when he says that, turning around to find yourself so close to him you could smell the dried raindrops on his padded coat.

“i’m pretty sure it’s overpriced. trinkets are usually overpriced anyways.”

“wait, let me check it,” you hand lev the trinket, “how much is your keychain?”

you furrow your eyebrows, “what?”

“you know, the keychain on the bag you bring to school.”

“oh,” you try to remember the time you had saved up for that keychain, “i think it was about three thousand yen? it’s overpriced. definitely.”

“well, this one’s only two thousand and five hundred. i’ll get it for you.”

“wha- lev!” you whine, “you’re going to make me feel bad- wait what’s wrong?” you see the boy freeze up in front of you, a big smile creeping onto his cheeky face.

he doesn’t reply for a bit, and you’re faced with raised cheekbones and a wide mouth. you try again, “was it something i did? or said?”

“you called me lev,” oh, you did. 

now his smile spreads from ear to ear, and it’s spreading to you. “you never call me lev.”

“huh, well.” you bite the inside of your mouth, “i guess now i do.”

it’s enough for you to let him spend over two thousand yen on a single trinket. you watch as he waits for the trinket to be wrapped neatly in pretty paper and put in a pink cardboard bag, its motif pretty enough to be its own product in the store. 

you stand by the doorframe of the store, mouth ready to open with the words ‘i’ll pay you back’. but it seems like lev had heard you from the future, and before you could do anything, he tells you, “don’t pay me back. this is my gift to you.”

“for exams?”

he grins. “you know, lev means lion in russian.”

the bell of the store rings as you two make your way out, this time really going back to the station. you answer with a ‘really?’ at his fun fact but you keep it to yourself that you’ve known ever since he first transferred and everyone had asked him about it. 

“yeah, and the thing’s a lion cub, so, it’s like you have me all the time!” 

you giggle, walking up the steps to the train platform. “you’re really something, lev.”

lev stretches his arms out, with long limbs you swear ghost your shoulder. you get that feeling again, in your hands, where you just can’t seem to understand why you want to take his hand in yours so bad, so you ask the boy if you can hold onto the bag with your trinket. lev passes it to you, and you hate how you would’ve liked for your thumb to graze over his thumb for longer. you hate it even more when he motions you onto the train, and in a blur, you take his arm, leading him to corner seats on the train. you feel your face heat up. 

ah, so that’s how it is.

now you’re conflicted. not that lev had ever made you feel uncomfortable - no, never - but you had never known how to return his obvious feelings. he would act on them, as always, and one day, as you fell asleep one day after final semester exams in the second year, leaning back into the plastic seat of a suburban tokyo metro rail (which lev thought was very dangerous), lev had muttered in the quietest and most subtle manner, ‘what do i do with my feelings?’

then, in a haze, with eyes barely open, you had moved your head from your seat to his shoulder, painting his cheeks red - dumbstruck. he thought you forgot about it the next morning, and you barely remember, so nothing happened afterwards. yet, when you think of him, you think of hues of orange peeling the sky into purple; of freshly washed school uniforms; of heads leaning on shoulders and fingers intertwined. you don’t know how to answer him.

with lev, there is chatter and laughter and blunt remarks that almost get him slapped in the face. still, there is a box, bigger than the bag your trinket is in, that contains words that you don’t think you or lev have ever said in pure daylight and wake. 

“hey, lev?”

you want to open that box.

“yeah?”

but you don’t know how to do it yet.

“the phospholipid bilayer is made up of a polar, hydrophilic area containing a phosphate group bound to glycerol, and a non-polar, lipophilic area containing fatty acids.”

lev exclaims a series of ‘oooh!’s in delight. 

“was that correct?”

“um,” lev gulps, “i think so? i mean- i think so.”

but you will open it, sooner or later, and it rings in your head when you step off the train and walk into the neighbourhood. right now, nothing is different - the air is not heavier, his eyes do not sparkle like love interests do in the movies, and you do not look through a rose-coloured lens. monday is finals, and the weekend is studying. you tell yourself this.

lev stops at your doorstep, and you almost feel a sear in your chest at the thought of him leaving for the night. 

“so, good luck with next week, y/n.”

you nod, trinket bag in your hands, “you too, lev.”

you find that your arms are opening up, a small pout on your face as lev comes to wrap his arms around you, coats shuffling against each other as you hold each other at three in the morning. 

when you pull away from the hug, you start to ramble a bit, scrambling for new topics to bring up in hopes of just a few more seconds with him - that, and trying to stop yourself from your newfound want to cup this boy’s face in your hands and kiss him square on the lips. you wonder if he would be good at kissing, and you wonder how much you’ll regret having these thoughts tomorrow. 

but even conversation dies when you know it’s getting too cold, so you bid your sweet goodbyes and promise him not to overwork; he reminds you that it’s better to do short but frequent study sessions than fewer and highly intensive ones. you nod, your boots heavy on your doorstep, the hushed sound of keys in doors slowly becoming the only sound you hear as you assume lev’s left already.

until he calls your name.

your head spins fast towards the boy, watching as he makes long strides to stand at your doorway once again, scarf prodding the tip of his nose, so close to your face. he’s red.

“during exams, or tomorrow, or studying for entrance exams- if you ever get lost-” he pants, and unties his scarf from his neck.

“you’ll find me, okay?” the scarf comfortably hangs around your neck now, covering your mouth. he pats your head twice. it’s warm - literally. 

you barely get the chance to say anything before he darts out of your house with a quick goodbye. you’re left confused, flustered, and excited at once, and this time, you think you might have the words as to why. 

you like to imagine you taste sweetness, see eyes that sparkle, and feel butterflies in your stomach. 

“it might not be so bad,” you whisper, looking down at the pretty little bag containing one unnecessarily expensive item lev had bought you.

right; you have feelings for him too. 

then you make up your mind: you’ll tell him next friday. and if your finals stand between tonight and next friday, then, all the more motivation to get through them, right?

you make sure to set an alarm for seven in the morning, kanji textbooks lined up for tomorrow. 

[saphie3243]

First Solstice

For my Secret Snowflake @tomtenadia

Nesta spends her first Solstice sober in Illyria, unable to bring herself to brave the inner circle celebration for a second year in a row.  

Word Count: 5500+

Read on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28297182

There  was something soothing about a room being so crowded it became hard to breathe. Better still when the music was so loud you can’t hear yourself think. Best when bodies are grinding, booze is flowing, and something to smoke is being passed around. Everyone was here for the same reason, everyone wanted a distraction. Amren had made several comments that she couldn’t believe Nesta got males to go home with her when she smelled like sweat and a distillery. She apparently didn’t understand that everyone smelled the same at places like this. 

The band was better than usual. The music was… actually good. Maybe that’s why the bar was extra packed today. Or maybe it was because Solstice was tomorrow and no one wanted to think about all the ways they’ve disappointed their families this year. 

Disappointing. The male she dragged into the bathroom was just that. He wasn’t even worth the time she wasted not getting another bottle of wine. She didn’t even let him finish before booting him out and stumbling back to her favorite stool. The bartender knows her by now and has mulled wine waiting. 

It’s warm and more mulled than wine. She nodded to him. They know how to take care of her here, she certainly spends enough. Leo is decent enough to warn her off of the less than savory types that might be interested in more than even she was willing to give. She sighs back into the glass. Why she felt the need to judge herself when tomorrow she was going to get 5 times over from Feyre and insipid little family was why she needed another glass. 

She turned around in her stool, facing back out, watching the crowd move in a formless mass. This band had changed over. The new one wasn’t nearly as good. Several months haunting bars and clubs to all hours in the morning had provided Nesta a proper sampling of Velaris’ bands, and, in her mind, gave her a liberty to criticize as she saw fit. This crater-faced crooner was pitchy and couldn’t move a room if he winnowed them. That earlier one had a woman out front. She was unusual for a Fae. She was beautiful, yes, but she wasn’t the wispy waif most fae women were. She was tall and built, covered in a layer of extra fat that filled out wonderful curves and jiggled when she danced. But that wasn’t what made her remarkable. Her voice took your heart by the ears and pulled you into the emotion she wanted you to feel.

“Weird compliment, but I’ll take it.” 

__

“Lor-Cass said you weren’t going home this year,” Emerie placed the breeches she was folding into a pile of identical wares. 

“I didn’t go home last year, either,” Nesta swished the black liquid in her cup as she reviewed the ledgers. Last Solstice only served to remind Nesta how much of a stranger she was to her own family, to Feyre’s new one. She would never be able to call that debacle “going home.” This year, however, she could avoid Velaris. Being banned from the city meant Feyre no longer had the ability to force her into attending farcical family meals, no matter how pissy she was about it. 

She closed the books with a sigh and placed them back into a drawer. “Numbers look good.” 

Emerie moved her pile of pants over to their shelf. “Thanks for looking over them, I haven’t had anyone to check my math since dad.” Nesta nodded and pulled out the books and notepads Emerie kept hidden with her accounting ledgers. 

She leafed through to the furthest marked page. “You didn’t get much further last night,” she commented. 

“Ah, no time, had to process a big shipment.” 

“It’s fine,” Nesta muttered. 5 words underlined. Not the most, not the least. She reviewed the best-guess at the words definition in Emerie’s notebook. Most were correct. She added pronunciation guides next to some. “Macabre means bloody, gruesome.” 

“Why is there an R in it?” 

“Because the gods are cruel.” She heard Emerie’s answering laugh. “You’re doing well though. We can probably move on to actually writing.” She didn’t really think it would be that hard for Emerie to learn to read and write. She ran this business - she was clearly whip-smart, just uneducated. It could easily be remedied.  

“In the meantime, can you answer the orders?” 

This little arrangement worked out nicely. Nesta lended her books and made her literate, meanwhile she would help out with store correspondence and would review the books. Reviewing the books was less about checking Emerie’s math - that she had a natural understanding for - and more about making sure each transaction had sufficient notes. 

She took another sip from her night-black liquid. The best part of Illyria, in her mind, was this coffee thing. It didn’t grow locally, needing a warmer climate for the source plant to thrive, but it had become a staple in the tribes as a way to keep troops moving with minimal sleep. Hot and bitter, it really shouldn’t have been as pleasant to drink as it was, but she found herself unable to stop. 

“When does Lo- Cass head down south?” 

“He should be meeting everyone Solstice morning and be back the day after.”

“What are you going to do?” 

Stare at the liquor bottles he filled with water to tease me.  Drink my weight in coffee and stand outside Devlon’s house at 2 am sending waves of power over the door to fuck with him until some asshole walks by and works up the balls to ask me back to their place - or die of exposure. Whatever’s first. 

“Not sure, why?” 

“Would you… I don’t know… want to spend tomorrow with… me?” Emerie had approached the table, tapping her fingers with each phrase. Nesta looked her up and down. If it was anyone else, she would have thought Cassian put her up to it. But she was also alone for the holidays, and Nesta knew that was probably a much bigger deal for the Illyrian than it was for her. She had mentioned once that she didn’t have many people since her father died. Adding in that Emerie didn’t do anything she didn’t want to do... If she was asking, it was because she wanted to spend this day with Nesta. 

She smiled at her friend, “Come over whenever.” 

___

Dinner was hot and ready when she came in. Cassian always made sure that their meals were piping. His own way of combating the awful wet cold of Illyria. She had to wonder if part of it also had to do with keeping the fires low in the house.  

Nesta kicked off her boots by the door and carried them to the fireplace. She set them down next to Cassian’s - the secret to warm feet, he’d said. Their coat rack was also by the fireplace for similar reasons. She gently felt the socks left hanging there- warm, thank the Wall. She pulled off her damp knits and left them in a pile on the floor while pulled on the fresh clothes. They went up to hang immediately after.

“Do you need to take every peg? Emerie’s store is only 5 minutes away,” Cassian called from across the house. He was standing in the kitchen with two bowls of stew. 

“Five minutes flying, 25 walking,” she turned to him. “Through a foot and a half of snow.” 

She pointed to the bottom of her dress and the crust of ice that had formed there. He grimaced. 

“I would have picked you up if you asked.” 

“Unnecessary.” She pulled the dress over her head and left it to hang on the coat rack. After months of living together, they had long overcome the initial discomfort with mild nudity. Not that she was anywhere near naked. She still had the chemise that ended at her knees, her wool sleeves, her knitted belly warmer, and a double layer of wool hose. She was more covered than either Amren or Morrigan on any given day. Finally in only dry clothes, she marched over the kitchen and took the bowl from Cassian. 

Four months of living with Cassian in Illyria was… surprisingly easy. The mountains were peaceful, simple. The way of life here is more similar to the human society she grew up with than the magical speed of Velaris. Emerie was a pleasant discovery. She still wanted a drink, desperately, but the biting cold had a similar numbing effect if you stood out in it long enough. The worst part was being dragged out of bed at dawn for “training”. Though her training was less about learning to fight herself and more about standing around the training rink terrifying males while Cass tried to teach little girls to throw a punch. 

Coincidently she hadn’t gotten laid in 4 months either. 

“As much as I love seeing you in your underwear, you do have very nice, very warm leathers.” 

“Bite me,” she said as she shoveled food in her mouth. She had made it this long avoiding putting those damn things on. She wasn’t going to cave now. No matter how much imagining the fur lining made her whimper. 

He smiled down at her, making a point of flashing his teeth. “Gladly.”  Whatever mischief was running through his thoughts cleaned itself up as he changed subjects. He was the other surprise. The animosity between them was turned down to a polite simmer. Oh they still bickered, and they flirted. They never said it, and God willing never would, but any edges of disgust in their banter had long been smoothed by fondness. “Az will be picking me up at 7 tomorrow. If you change your mind about coming with me, be ready to go then.” 

“I won’t,” she answered, choosing not to tell him that she would be spending the day with Emerie. 

Surprisingly, he didn’t push. 

“Oh good, you’re up. I’m making breakfast, if you want.” 

__

Nesta woke up in a bed that was far too clean to be her own. Her head ached, her throat was dry, and she was naked. She sat up and took in her surroundings. This room was not hers. She had less furniture and more piles of shit everywhere. She was trying to figure out how she got there when the door opened and a woman came wandering in. 

Nesta recognized her as soon as she spoke and finally recalled the night prior. She was the singer for that band. They chatted each other up at the bar for hours, getting progressively drunker. By the time the bar closed they stumbled home - going to hers because it was closer. They jumped each other as soon as the door closed. It was a new experience for Nesta, being with a woman. And it was good. The singer sounded as lovely when she came as she did when she belted. 

Staying for breakfast would be nice. Something real in her stomach to soak up the alcohol was very needed. And if she played it right, there was a chance for as lovely a morning as there was a night. 

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.” 

Nesta waited until her partner had left the room before she pulled on her dress and snuck out the window. 

Lovely wasn’t what she deserved. 

___

No training didn’t mean that Nesta didn’t wake up at first light. It just meant she didn’t need to get dressed. Part of the initial torture of first arrival was learning that Cass put her in an east facing room with larg windows on the walls - and refused to let her have curtains. Privacy apparently wasn’t as important as making sure she didn’t have oversleeping as an excuse.

She swore at the sun, as she did every morning, and felt around in the bed next to her. Before getting out from under the covers, she pulled on her fluffy robe. This little trick she learned back in the hut. Sleep with the clothes you’re going to wear if you want them to be warm in the morning. 

She trudged out to the main room and kitchen, beginning the process of preparing breakfast. Another rule of the house, if you are up first, you cook first. Same for dinner and coming home. Lunch they were on their own. There was a housemaid when she first arrived, but… she didn’t last long. She found the tea kettle and set about making hot water while she poured oats into bowls. From their icebox - a box they just left sealed outside to let winter keep cold - she pulled out a package of cured bacon. The kettle whistled, and she used the entire batch to steep the coffee. The next round of water was for the oatmeal.

The shadows between the windows grew and darkened. Before he even stepped out, Nesta greeted him. 

“I’m making coffee. Get a cup if you want some.” 

“Thank you. I’ll take bacon, too, if you don’t mind.” 

“It’s Cass’s money,” she answered, adding three more pieces to the griddle. 

Azriel was the only one from Velaris that visited with any sort of regularity, mostly due to how closely he needed to work with Cassian. He would come up about once a week for updates or meetings or to winnow Cass somewhere. He had begun to make a habit out of arriving early to chat with Nesta. Sometimes he just came up to hang out with them. He probably only came up to spend time with Cassian, but since she was usually around, they included her.

No one else from the Inner Circle bothered to visit. Rhysand and Feyre came up once, but that… did not end well. Elain felt too guilty to come see the sister whose banishment she had consented to. Morrigan wasn’t even on the island, so it wasn’t a surprise she didn’t stop by. And Amren… Amren was keeping her vow to not speak to Nesta until she apologised to Morrigan. Something Nesta still didn’t think she needed to do. 

Morrigan spent 4 nights a week at a gay bar. How the fuck was Nesta supposed to know she wasn’t out? 

“Elain asked me to bring this,” he conjured a set of books and hand-knitted socks into existence, placing both onto the table while pouring himself a cup. The books were tied together with ribbons and decorated with small bows, clearly meant to be her Solstice present. The socks - well, Elain had taken up knitting sometime in the last year and had Azriel deliver a pair every time he visited. 

“Why didn’t she just ask Cassian to bring it back with him?” Nesta scooped some brown sugar into her oatmeal. 

The ever so slight blush on his cheeks told her what his answer did not. “She wanted to make sure you had a present for the holiday.” 

“Because she knows how much I care about holidays,” and it had nothing at all to do with you leaving from her room this morning and it seeming convenient at the time. They wanted to be discrete, and Nesta accepted that - no matter how bad they were at hiding it. She poured in the hot water into her breakfast and stirred. “Any messages with that present?” 

“The bacon looks done.” 

“Azriel.” 

He sighed. “No.” 

Nesta tightened her jaw and moved the bacon from the stove to a plate, allowing him to have a piece. She wasn’t sure if she was more pissed that he didn’t have a message or that she was still hoping he would. Either way she was going to play it off. “I’m surprised they didn’t have you hock me about going, too.” 

Az cocked his head. “Cass made it pretty clear you weren’t ready for that.” She snapped up at him. 

“And what was his barometer for knowing if I was ready?” She sneered. 

But Az only shrugged, well accustomed to playing referee for Cassian and Nesta by now. “You not wanting to go.” 

__

Nesta was still thinking about Azriel’s answer by the time Emerie came over. She couldn’t decide if Cassian was being a presumptive ass or if he was being genuinely considerate. He had a habit of being both interchangeably. Like when he finally made his way to the kitchen, fully dressed and demanding breakfast. He added in some last minute jabs about coming back early if she got lonely as Az winnowed away with him. And even through the mocking tone, the message was clear. “If you don’t want to be alone, just say the word and I’ll come back.” 

He still didn’t know she was spending today with Emerie then. 

“Do you not own any decorations or do you just not like them?” she asked, looking around the room. 

“What decorations?” Nesta strained in her thoughts, there was a lot of extra shit in Feyre’s living room last year… 

“Solstice decorations.You know, candles, holly, garlands,” Emerie explained. It sounded like what Feyre had up - and what most of Velaris had up -  but in all honesty she was not sober enough last year to make the connection that it was for the holiday and wasn’t just some seasonal nonsense. Emerie squinted at her and placed a wrapped box on the table. Presents! 

Fuck. That’s right. Fae exchange presents on the Solstice. 

“I honestly don’t know.” 

Emerie squinted at her. “What do you mean you don’t know?” 

Nesta shrugged. “Humans don’t have holidays.” At most they had festivals, but they were distinctly not holidays, just an excuse to drink and dance with as many strangers as possible. The closest thing they had to a formal holiday was Treaty Day, and even that was not the intimate affair this seemed to be. She hadn’t even heard of a Solstice dinner until Feyre asked her to go last year. 

“How do you not have holidays?” she asked. 

“Holidays used to be very dangerous days to be human.” There were plenty of horror-stories around the suffering of human slaves on religious days. Whether they were being traded as gifts or killed as sacrifices...  even if the stories were exaggerations, it led to whole-sale rejection of everything religious by human society. 

“So you know nothing about solstice?” Emerie placed a hand on her hip. 

“It is the longest night of the year.” 

Emerie made it her mission to instruct Nesta on the finer points of an Illyrian solstice. First and foremost, every 5 years it was the last day of the Blood Rite. The theme of doing battle still continued in the other years, most tribes had hunts or tournaments for the men to mark the occasion. Women were expected to work the day to prepare for the night. The night of the Solstice was the only true peace Illyria ever saw. Solstice nights were for feasting, music, and dancing. Fighting after dark was strictly forbidden. Gifts were expected between families, friends, and especially rivals. It symbolized an acceptance that though Illyrians may compete with one another, they were still members of one army. 

“Does this tribe have a tournament?” Nesta asked. Cassian hadn’t mentioned anything about it, or a feast afterwards, but he might not have thought her interested. Or ready, she thought ruefully.

“Devlon hosts a melee tournament. Puts all the entrants in the ring together and waits to see who comes out. The large feast at the end is prepared by entrant’s families,” Nesta knew she meant women in those families, “For the entrants and their families. Dad didn’t enter, so we would just watch the tournament and then spend the night at home.” 

“Do you want to watch the tournament this year?” 

“Yeah but you’re still in your pajamas,” Emerie laughed. 

She watched by the door as Nesta dressed in her warmest clothes. Watching men fight on her day off wasn’t exactly Nesta’s idea of a good time. But Emerie wanted to go. And Cassian had tried to make the decision of whether or not she should go by not telling her about it, so that in and of itself made her want to go. Because neither were entering, and certainly neither were cooking, they wouldn’t be able to attend the feast after. But that’s just as well. A night back at the house with hot drinks and Cassian’s pantry seemed just fine to both of them. 

The tournament took place in the training rings. Normally the 5 or so rings were roped off from one another, allowing different ages and skill levels to train separately. But today Devlon had taken down the separators, providing an obnoxiously large space for his melee. But it was needed. It seemed every one of Devlon’s soldiers signed up for the tournament. About 200 competitors, ranging from small boys to grown men. There were even some father-son pairs helping each other warm up in the ring. 

Outside the rings, there was yet another crowd of voyeurs. Women and girls taking breaks from their preparations to watch, the merchant families - like Emerie’s, and the men too old and frail to compete anymore. Standing at the head of it all was Devlon, a poor-man’s Cassian. He caught wind of them walking up and immediately flared at the sight of Nesta before turning back to the tournament. Being a witch in Illyria had certain perks. Devlon’s apprehension being only part of it. The crowd parting for them, allowing them to stand at his side and have the best view, was another. 

“Soldiers!” Devlon called as he stepped forward. All 200 men turned to him at attention, well trained by now. “You know the rules. No siphons, no weapons, no flying, no killing. You fall, you’re out. You yield, you’re out. You get knocked out of the ring, you’re out. The last men standing at sunset wins.” He raised his arm in the air, making it visible to all. He took one last look around the ring, took a breath, and dropped his arm and stepped back as he bellowed, “Lay on!”

The chaos was immediate. One of the younger kids, there without a father to hold them up, fell immediately. The rest were at each other's throats, kicking, punching, wrestling. Part of her was worried that the battle-royale would be too similar to the war. But without the clang of steel and the geysers of blood, she found this was more similar to the crowded dance halls in Velaris. Devlon, now standing next to the girls, kept his eyes on the mock-battle as he spoke. “I thought you’d be with Cassian today.” 

“And miss a battle royale? Honestly Devlon, do you know me at all?” She smiled at him, relishing how he flinched at her grin. “Can’t help but notice none of the girls are competing.” 

His jaw tightened. “The Solstice melee is not training. It’s tradition.” 

“Now you said the same thing about the girls training, too, did you not?” Nesta had no interest in ever learning how to fight herself, and didn’t really care if girls trained or not. But there was a difference between choosing not to do something and not being allowed to do something. 

“If Lord Cassian wants to insert his views here as well, he should be here to do it himself.” The harsh words were undercut by the bead of sweat racing down his cheek. He wasn’t wrong. That was part of the reason Cass was stationed up here full time. Changing the rules around women required full time intervention. In Nesta’s mind, it also required more input from the women, but that was a discussion for another time. 

“Maybe next year,” Nesta yawned. She watched the battle progress. After the initial early eliminations, they had plateaued into a minor stalemate. Some alliances also became clear. Groups of friends or families fighting together, watching each other’s back, catching each other before they fell. She didn’t cheer as the crowd or Emerie did. Rather, her and Devlon seemed to be the only calm people there. 

Then… something odd happened. One of the teenage boys fell suddenly. He didn’t seem to get hit particularly hard, for one. And secondly, he didn’t get back up. Both Devlon and Nesta leaned forward, looking closer. She saw it first, sniffed it out. Blood. The boy had been hit in the side and was bleeding from the wound. 

“Devlon,” she said very carefully. 

“I know, I didn’t see who did it.” 

“We need to get him out.” 

“His friends will get him out.” 

She held her breath, watching. No one came. She hadn’t been watching him particularly, but she didn’t remember him teaming up like the others. The way they walked around him… “He doesn’t have friends,” she snarled. Even Emerie gulped as Nesta’s anger stirred the well of her power. Cass told her stories. Back when the shakes and cold sweats were unbearable, he stayed up with her and told stories, trying to distract her through it. Trading one dark truth for another. She told him about watching her mother die, he told her that he was alone for years until Rhys. A bastard that was left to fend for himself, potentially to die if he wasn’t strong enough. From the way they walked over this kid, he was the same. She needed to get him out of there. He was bleeding out and no one was doing a damn thing about it. 

“We cannot interfere with the melee,” Devlon said, “it’s against the rules.” 

“So is weapons, but someone clearly has a knife,” she spat. Devlon didn’t say anything to that. He just kept scanning the make-shift battlefield, searching. “There!” he shouted, and his green siphon flashed. Another teenager was plucked into the air by his wings. He kicked and thrashed, a small knife in his fist. Devlon pulled the kid to him, releasing his magic’s grip and decking as asshole as he got in range. The boy went down with just that one hit. 

But the first boy was still out there. He was still bleeding out. Alone in a crowd. He was going to die. He was going to die in this little mock battle where killing was strictly forbidden. Was this why Cassian didn’t tell her about it? Did he have holidays like this? Did older boys gang up on him and try to kill him without anyone noticing? Was he left alone to bleed on his own? 

“Nesta!” 

Emerie’s voice was farther away than it should have been, and muffled by a crowd of idiots fighting with one another. She wasn’t entirely sure how she got here, but Nesta was standing over the fallen boy. As they registered her presence, one by one the soldiers stopped. “The witch.” “It’s the witch.” “Why is the witch here?”  She ignored them all, kneeling down to the injured. He was pale and grimacing, having lost a lot of blood - still losing it, actually. The knife had gotten him just below the ribs, catching who knows which organs. Without another word she picked him up, allowing his head to rest against his shoulder and his body to rest on her torso. 

She turned back to Emerie and Devlon, one watching with concern, the other pissed as hell. She stepped towards them, slowly, carefully. She didn’t want to jostle the kid’s injuries more than necessary. No one came near her as she walked out of the ring. At first she thought it was the same as the audience, that they were simply afraid of the witch. But a glance around gave her a different answer.

Her power extended around her in a sphere, creating barriers of ethereal flowing silver. The grass around her withered and died, and no man here wanted to see what would happen if they touched the walls of silver flames. When she got to the edge of the ring, the rope touched her power and rotted to nothing. She didn’t know how this boy still lived in her arms, but he was still breathing- barely. She spoke to both Devlon and Emerie. 

“He needs a healer.” 

“I’ll find Marta and have her meet you at the house.” 

Nesta nodded to her friend and turned to walk the familiar path to Cassian’s house, her power dying down as she crossed the threshold.

__

Marta arrived at the same time she did. They set the kid down on the kitchen table as the old woman got to work. The boy did get stabbed, but only in the liver. It took longer than Nesta would have thought, certainly longer than the battlefield-healing she remembered from the war, but Marta was able to stabilize him and stitch him up. She left them with instructions to make sure the boy didn’t get infected or pop a stitch in the night. 

“Not how you planned to spend the Solstice, I’m guessing?” Nesta asked. 

Emerie tilted her head, “No but seeing every warrior in the village piss himself is worth it.” She slumped down on the couch. “We have a moment, want to open your present?” she gestured to the box on the table. 

“Y-yeah, just let me grab yours.” Nesta ran back to her room. She grabbed the stack of books Elain bought her, still wrapped from this morning. Definitely a faux paus, but she would never know. 

Nesta came back out with the present and set it in front of Emerie. “Happy Solstice.” The look of awe and excitement was worth it. As Emerie began to untie the books, Nesta began to unwrap her present. Under the paper was a long, thin box. She unlidded it to find a set of leather and wood hair pins - Illyrian style hair pins, made to not get cold in winter. 

“Thank you,” she said, still admiring the etching on the leather thong. 

“I’d thank you but, I think mine goes to Elain.” 

“What?” Nesta whipped her head up to see the first book open on the table and Emerie holding a hand written note. She was clearly reading it but let Nesta snatch it from her anyway. 

“So should I let you borrow the books or-”

“Shush.” Emerie laughed and paged through the first novel as Nesta read the note. 

Dear Nesta, 

I know you are still upset with me, and with Feyre, for sending you away. And you are right to be upset. You were there for me, after the Cauldron and after Grayson. You held our family together after Feyre left. And when you needed us, needed me, I didn’t know how to help. 

I don’t know if it is the power or just my own knowledge of you, but I knew there was nothing I could do. I knew that if I tried to help, I would only fail. And that is not an excuse. Fear of failure does not make not trying ok, but it is what I did. And I am sorry. 

I know putting this in a letter hidden in a book is still the coward’s way, but I don’t think I could face you if I didn’t apologize first. I hope to have Azriel take me for a visit after the Solstice if you would have me. 

Your sister, 

Elain

___

They stayed up most of the night, playing cards, reading, and watching over the boy. Nesta had planned to stay up the full night, but using her power that day and waking up at 6 am had taken its toll. She found herself drowsing into her cards. Around 3am, Emerie sent Nesta to bed, agreeing to stay up and keep watch. Nesta’s head barely hit the pillow before she was out. 

She woke in darkness. Not odd for her. Waking up in the middle night was fairly common. But when she looked to her window, she saw that it was not night. There was sunlight shining behind the makeshift curtain someone had thrown over her window. She pushed herself up. Who? 

“You’re up.” 

She turned her attention to the chair on the other side of her bed. Cassian sat there, watching over her with an indecipherable expression. She sat up.

“When did you get home?” 

He ran his fingers through his hair. It was down and knotted, unusual for him. There were bags under his eyes. “Last night, before dawn. Az brought me back,” he brought his hands together and looked at her. “Emerie told me what happened. You lost control again.” 

“How’s the boy?” 

“Petros is fine. I moved him to my room to sleep off the rest of the potion the healer gave him.” 

“That’s good.” 

“No, you couldn’t,” his hands gently reached out and lifted her face to look at him. “Why couldn’t you?” 

Cassian moved to the bed, sitting next to Nesta. “You lost control for him.”

“I-I couldn’t just let him bleed out,” she explained, staring at a spot on the bedspread.

Because he reminded me of you. She didn’t know if she said the words out loud or not. But Cassian’s answering kiss was so soft, so gentle, so sweet, she didn’t care. She responded to his kiss in kind, her hand cupping his face, finally feeling those perfectly chiselled cheekbones. His tongue passed over her lower lip and she opened for him, inviting him deeper. She met his tongue with her own and wrapped her hands around the back of his head, pulling him closer. He grinned through the kiss, gently placed his hand on her shoulders, and pushed her back down on the bed. 

It was the first time Nesta stayed for breakfast after.

___________

Tagging potential readers:

@perseusannabeth

[winters-void]

100

a/n: this is based off of episode 9 of season 5 “100″ of criminal minds. -Requests are open.

warning: death, blood, violence, angst, George foyet, murder

relationship: dad! Hotchner x daughter! reader, Spencer Reid x reader (light)

____

Y/n felt her heart in her chest. She couldn't hear, over her heartbeat and her vision was blurred due to the immense amount of tears in her eyes. She felt Spencer's hand on her shoulder and that was all it took to break down. She fell to her knee's being caught along the way by Spencer and began to bawl into his shoulder. His cane fell to the side as he held her close as she broke down into his body.

— previously —

Y/n was exhausted. She graciously took a cup of coffee from Spencer as they made their way up to the bullpen. Finally, there had been a break in the Foyet case. She was so tired of this devil. It seemed like he was everywhere she looked. Even if he wasn't there physically.

She could feel him in her dreams, plaguing her with nightmares. Every time she looked at the family photo on her desk, and a picture of her and Jack from her little brother's 3rd birthday she was reminded of the torment he had caused her family. From stabbing her father and leaving him at the hospital, and now threatening Jack and her mother. She was so tired of it.

They were working on a geographical profile now, focusing on the two different addresses from the letters he had sent. Garcia and Kevin where cross referencing a list of Foyet's medications, trying to find something that he couldn't get over the counter or on the streets.

"Okay so what are we going to do about the two cities?" J.J. asked. "Usually we need 3 different points to get an accurate geographic profile."

"That's all we got right now." Derek speaks from beside her.

"Gaithersburg, Rockville, D.C., Alexandria, Bowie, Annapolis." Prentiss begins listing off nearby cities.

"Where the hell are you Foyet?"

Wasn't that the question of the hour? Of the year actually. All Y/n wanted was to have her family under one roof again. Even if her parents were divorced, she just wanted the ability to call her mom after a long case and play with her little brother. Instead, they were placed into protective custody. She knew they were safe, at least she hoped they were.

The team wasn't told where they were going whatsoever, it was safer that way. No way of knowing where your mom and brother were, and not knowing how to contact them. There was a small amount of people who knew where they were located.

"Okay, me and the boy found a thyroid medication that has no substitute over the counter. You gotta get it from a pharmacist, but a lot of people are on it." Garcia said bursting into the bullpen with a laptop in her hand.

"Find the midpoint between the 2 cities." Rossi told her. "And isolate names in a 25-mile radius."

"153 names." Garcia told him.

"He's smart enough to use a different name." Y/n spoke up. "This guy lived off of the grid for years."

"What kind of names should we be looking for." Derek asks.

"He could've easily stolen someones identity." Prentiss speaks up pointing toward Derek, reminding Y/n of the night her father got stabbed and Foyet checked him into the hospital using Derek's credentials.

"No, he's a narcissist in love with his own mythology." her dad speaks up, flipping through a file. "He'd use a name connected with the case."

"A victim maybe, a cop." Rossi adds.

"Okay, let's check the Foyet files for a list of names, and... nothing." Garcia says shaking her head.

"Wait a minute guys." Her boyfriend speaks up. "Foyet likes things to have meaning to him. The eye of providence, the addresses he wrote on the bus that led us back to him."

Spencer stands up, walking to the bored and writing "George Foyet" on it. "Maybe he's doing the same thing with the alias."

"Like an anagram or something." Prentiss says catching on.

Spencer begins crossing letters out and drawing arrows. Y/n wonders what's going on in his mind. He's always been brilliant and she's not sure she'll understand how he does it all.

"You see something Spence?" She asks him.

"Not yet."

"Reid, he named himself the reaper." Her dad tells him and suddenly 'the reaper' appears on the board as well and Spencer repeats his process of crossing out letters and making arrows.

All of a sudden he turns around, with a name. "Peter Rhea." He speaks.

"There's a Peter Rhea in Arlington." Garcia says looking down at her laptop.

"We found him." Rossi says.

___

The team begins to suit up. Y/n pulling on her vest as calm as possible. Her hands are shaking and everyone notices. This isn't the normal Y/n whatsoever. She just wants her life to go back to normal. With a case hitting this close to home, she can't help but feel like her nerves are racking up against her.

"Hey." Spencer says placing a hand on her waist gently. The rest of the team looks away giving them a moment. "You're okay. We're going to get him."

"Are we?" She asks, voice cracking.

___

Y/n, Spencer, J.J. Derek and Rossi were in an empty building across the street from Foyet's apartment. They had a swat team behind them and Y/n was sitting next to Rossi, her back to Spencer who was leaning on his cane.

"SWAT's getting antsy." Jennifer told Morgan. She didn't really listen to what else they had to say. She just focused on the building ahead of them.

Less than 15 minutes later, the decision to move was made. Derek sent in someone with a camera to look under the door of Foyet's apartment.

"What's that on the floor?" Her dad asked from beside her.

"That's his mail." Derek said and the decision to move out was made. They ran across the street, guns drawn, followed by the SWAT team and undercover units.

They busted into the apartment quickly, discovering Foyet wasn't there.

"He's not coming back here, he left an untouched meal." Her father declared.

"You drop your mail like this when you're startled, when you need to get out of dodge quick." Rossi tells him.

"Something tipped him off, he knew we were coming."

"Suitcases are open there's some clothes missing, there's a safe with a stash of guns in it." Derek says coming back into the kitchen with J.J.

"He didn't even bother to lock them up again." J.J. adds.

"If he's in a hurry, he'll make a mistake." Rossi says.

"Yeah but when Foyet gets cornered he starts killing." Hotch says leaving the room.

"We're not gonna let that happen."

"We need Garcia to get on this." Y/n whisper watching Foyet's screen. It's continuously deleting files from its system. As Garcia reworks the files, you notice something in a picture. "Wait, stop, stop! Is that-"

"The US Marshall assigned to my family." Her dad says looking right at her. He leaves a message on Kassmeyers cell before locking eyes with Y/n. "Let's go."

____

The black SUV's halt to a stop outside of the U.S. Marshals house. When walking inside, they find Kassmeyer on the ground, slowly dying. Rossi gets an ambulance as your father tries to communicate with him.

Y/n could hear the sirens of the ambulance now as medics came in.  "Gunshot wounds to each leg he's missing several fingers and he's badly beaten." Spencer said from beside her.

"Clear out of the way" the medics ordered her father before getting to work. As they got into the ambulance Hotch followed him into the vehicle leaving Y/n with the rest of the team breathing heavily. She felt Spencer grab a shaking hand and squeeze it tight.

Later on the team received a phone call from Hotchner, telling them that Foyet called Y/n's mother from Sam's phone.

"We'll get Garcia to trace it. J.J." Morgan said nodding at J.J. to start working on that.

"He told her she was compromised and I was dead, and that Y/n was in critical condition." Her dad told them.

"Well have you called her?" Prentiss ask him.

"No. He said to throw her phone away and to buy a disposable." Y/n heard her dad say. She wanted to vomit. There was too much happening at once. She wanted to be calm and collected but there was too much on the line. This case was targeting her home, her family.

"Hotch we're gonna come get you right now." Morgan told him.

"No, Anderson's bringing me a car."

"You want us to meet you back at the office?"

"I'm hoping that she's just going to call me, at least, to check. Maybe even Y/n."  

"Foyet posed as a Marshal, called from a number that she recognized." Derek told him.

"And then he did what gets him off. He scared her." Rossi added.

"No, He paralyzed her. He overwhelmed her." Prentiss told the team.

"And now, she trusts him. Where do you think he would take her?" Spencer asked him.

"Witness protection had her living in New Jersey." Prentiss told Spencer.

"He has a head start. He could be there now."

"Garcia's got a trace." J.J. told the team a form of somewhat good news.

"He's bouncing between a few towers." Garcia spoke being added to the call.

"Where?" Y/n's dad asked panicked.

"Fairfax County." Garcia told him.

"He's still local?" Y/n asked confused. "He wants to be close."

"Send the coordinates to my phone." Hotch told her.

Hotchner hung up from the phone call, and the team watched as he called another number.

"Wait that phone's on?" Prentiss asked.

"Hotch is calling Foyet."

"Garcia get us connected to that call." Y/n spoke grabbing the phone.

"Agent Hotchner." Y/n heard Foyet's voice on the phone and her blood ran cold.

"If you touch her.." She heard her father tell him.

"Be gentle, like I was with you?" Foyet asks and Y/n is reminded of walking into her fathers empty apartment find his blood on the floor. "What the hell took you so long? I was beginning to think this phone was dead or something. Why so quiet? You usually lash out when you're frustrated."

"I'm not frustrated. You're more predictable than you think." Her father spoke lowly.

"Am I?" Foyet asked.

"You didn't know where Haley was so you made her come to you."

"You make me sound lazy."

"Just another way for you to show control." Hotch told him. "Your mother tried to protect you from your father but she wasn't strong enough and you hated her for that didn't you? You decided that all women were weak."

"Those are your words, not mine."

"What were you 9 when you killed them?"

"It was a car accident."

"That you couldn't take credit for. That had to be hard for you. But poor George got another chance, the little orphan was saved. By the wealthy, sterile Eastside couple, the Foyets and the story should've ended there." Hotchner spoke, analyzing the Reaper.

"I don't believe in fairy tales, do you?" Foyet asked him.

"That's the thing, George. This isn't a fairy tale." Hotch told him. "You don't have to write this story, you don't have to do any of this. I know you're exhausted, always looking over your shoulder." Her father was pleading with the man now. "Always wondering when the other shoe is gonna drop. Haven't you gotten what you wanted? You've set yourself apart from anybody we've ever dealt with. You're not just a famous serial killer, you're the reaper. We're gonna study you and your methods for years and years."

Foyet took a moment to respond. "You know what I've been thinking? Haley looks pretty good with dark hair. She's lost some weight, must be all the stress you've caused her. Where's the little man? Oh. There he is. Does he like Captain America because of you?"

Another phone rang in the background. Y/n's eyes began to swell with tears. This sick bastard was watching her family. He was playing them like a fiddle.

"That's your wife. Hold please." She listened closely as Foyet answered the other phone. "Mrs. Hotchner."

"I'm here." Y/n heard her mothers voice and she closed her eyes to hold back the tears. It was the first time she'd heard it in months. Never in a million years did she think this would be the circumstance.

"Open the gate and I'll drive in." Foyet told her, and not knowing any better her mother agreed. "Aaron? I really got to go."

Her mind wasn't there while the team was talking. She was just trying to think of where they could be. It clicked once Reid recited Foyet's end of the conversation.

"The gate. The fucking gate. He's going to my house." She blurted. "The one I grew up in."

Immediately she grabbed a pair of keys to one of the SUV's and began heading out the door.

"No, give me the key's you're in no condition to drive." Derek said. "I'll call Hotch."

"Foyet's going to your house Hotch." Derek told him.

"I know." Her father spoke.

"We're sending a full tactical unit. We're on our way."

With that the phone was hung up and Garcia's voice came through to the line they were all connected with. "Foyet's calling Hotch."

"Garcia can you get us on?" Derek asked her.

"Foyet."

"Aaron?" Her mothers shocked voice said. "You're okay? What about Y/n?"

"I'm fine." Hotch said and y/n could tell her father was swallowing his tears. Attempting to make it seem like he was okay. "Y/n's fine as well. She's with the team."

"But.. he said that-" Haley cut herself off. "Oh Aaron."

"He can hear us right?"

"Yes. I am so sorry." her mother apologized and Y/n bit her lip. She felt Spencer place a hand on her back.

"Haley, show him no weakness." Her father told him. "No fear."

"I know, Same told me about him. Is he uh-"

"No Sam is fine." Hotch lied. Sam was indeed very not fine.

"Aaron, Aaron, Aaron." Foyet spoke up. The reality of this situation becoming a lot clearer to Y/n ever second that passed. "Is that why your marriage broke up? Because you're a liar?"

"Don't listen to him Haley."

"I have Sam's service phone right here. They sent out a mass text about his death. You can take a look if you want."

"He's trying to scare you." Her father told her. "Did you even tell her what this was about? About the deal?"

"He's just trying to make you angry."

"Well she should be, she's gonna d-i-e." Foyet spoke up, taunting the family. "Your kids are going to be motherless because of your inflated ego."

"Ignore him Haley." Hotch spoke.

" I'm sure you don't want her to know about this part either." Foyet added. "You know, all he had to do was stop looking for me and you wouldn't be in this mess."

"Don't react."

"What is he talking about?" Haley asked.

"Tell Jack I need him working the case." Y/n knew what that meant. Jack needed to hide. She prayed that he would remember and listen to their father.

"What?" Haley asked confused.

"Tell Jack I need him working the case."

"Did you hear that?" Haley asked her younger brother.

"Hi daddy." Jack spoke into the phone causing Y/n to lurch forward. Her heart ached for her younger brother. His whole world was about to change and he was too innocent for that.

"Hi Buddy." Her dad said voice cracking.

"Is George a bad guy?"

"Yes he is." Hotchner said clearing his throat. "Jack, I need you on this case with me and your sister. Do you understand? We need you to work the case with me."

"Ok daddy." Jack said and Y/n hoped he knew what to do. He was a smart kid, and it was one of his favorite spots to be in when Y/n and Aaron worked on a case at home together.

"Jack, hug your mom for me and sissy okay?" Her dad knew she was listening in. She heard some shuffling and knew Jack was giving Haley a hug for the last time.

"Mommy hug me too tight." Jack said unknowing of the situation at hand.

"I'm sorry." Haley's voice said gently.

"Why are you sad?" Jack asked.

"Oh, I just love you so much." Haley said. "You and your sister are the light of my life."

"Mommy, I gotta go. I'm working the case." Jack told her. Y/n heard Jack's footsteps retreat from the room. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. They were still too far away.

"He's so cute." Foyet said. "He's like a little Junior G-Man. I'll be right up, Jackie boy!"

"Is he gone?" Hotch asked her.

"Yes." Haley responded wiping away her tears and sniffling.

"You're so strong, Haley. You're stronger than I ever was." Aaron told her.

"You'll hurry right?" She asked. Y/n looked at Derek almost as if urging the car to go faster and she felt Spencer grab her hand. She'd be squeezing her fist so tight there were imprints left from her nails.

"I know you didn't sign on for this." Her father told her.

"Neither did you."

"I'm sorry for everything." Her father admitted.

"Promise me that you will tell him how we met and how you used to make me laugh." This was her goodbye.

"Haley-"

"He needs to know that you weren't always so serious Aaron. I want him to believe in love because it is the most important thing. But you need to show him. Promise me."

"I promise." Her fathers voice was a whisper. Tears were quietly streaming down her face at this point.

A moment of silence thickened the air, before the sharp sound of 3 gunshots rang out. Y/n broke down in the back of the van letting out a steady stream of quiet tears and flinching at the sound. Derek and Rossi looked back at the girl as Spencer pulled her close letting the girl sob into his shoulder.

"Mom-" She croaked out in barely a whisper. She knew Haley was dead. She knew Foyet would make sure of that. She was in shock at the moment. She didn't want to believe her mother was dead, but she knew that was the case.

The line went dead after the sound of her father throwing the phone and she knew they needed to get to the house as fast as possible.  Morgan sped down the street of her old home, skidding to a stop in front of the house. They found her father relentlessly beating Foyet to death before Morgan wrapped his arms around him and pulled him away.

"Hotch! Hotch!" He yelled. "He's dead. Hotch stop, come on, stop it. It's over, It's over." She watched as her father broke down in Morgans arms. "It's okay it's over man."

Y/n felt her heart in her chest. She couldn't hear, over her heartbeat and her vision was blurred due to the immense amount of tears in her eyes. She felt Spencer's hand on her shoulder and that was all it took to break down. She fell to her knee's being caught along the way by Spencer and began to bawl into his shoulder. His cane fell to the side as he held her close as she broke down into his body.

"Jack-" Y/n said before bolting from the room and into her fathers office. She heard his footsteps behind her. She went to the ottoman that served as a storage unit and opened the lid, not quite knowing what to expect. Her father appeared behind her, a breath of relief escaping both of them to see Jack's face.

"I work the case, just like Daddy said." Jack spoke innocently.

More tears rolled down Y/n's face as she reached into the box to pull her brother out. "Good job Bub" She whispered pulling him into her arms and falling into her dad's embrace.

"What happened to you daddy?"

"I'm okay. I want you to go outside with Ms. Jareau okay?" Hotch told his youngest.

"Come here, sweetheart." J.J. said picking her little brother up and taking her down the stairs.

"Where is she dad?" Y/n asked and slowly they walked into the bedroom where Derek was checking her mothers pulse. She was laying there lifeless, and stained with her own blood.

"I'm so sorry Hotch." Derek whispered and slowly she dropped to her knees next to her mother letting out a sob.Grabbing her hand and falling on top of her not caring. about the blood seeping onto her.

"Mom." She sobbed. "Please, no-"

She knew there was no coming back from this. Still, her mind didn't want to process that the woman who raised her was really gone. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Her mom was supposed to be there while Jack grew up, and to watch them both get married and become a grandmother.

"Y/n." Hotchner spoke laying a hand on his daughters back.

She let out a flood of tears screaming into her mothers body as her body racked with sobs shaking violently. She let go and fell back into her fathers embrace staring at her mother's lifeless eyes as he hugged her tightly.

"Get out of here." She faintly heard Derek say. "Go see if they need any help downstairs."

___

"She was already gone." Y/n told Strauss looking blankly at the table. "My dad could do nothing for her, but there's not a doubt in my mind that he saved my brother from what Foyet would've done to him. He would be dead as well."

"She died rather quickly." Strauss told her. Y/n flinched at the word. It was still hard to process that her mother was really gone. "She didn't suffer much."

"That doesn't make it right." Y/n snapped before biting her tongue. "I'm sorry-"

"I'm sorry for your loss." Strauss told her. "If there's anything your family needs-"

"Thank you."

Y/n stood up and nodded at the director before walking to the bullpen to be with Jack and the rest of the team again. She sat down next to Spencer as Jack ran to his sister.

"Hi Bub." She said pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Hi sissy." It wasn't long after that when her father joined and Jack got down from her lap to greet their father in a hug. Reid placed a loving hand on her back and she felt herself relax for the first time in that day into his embrace.

She grabbed his hand subtly and squeezed it tight. I Love you.

He squeezed it back in response and she nodded. I love you too.

[ageof9thhouse]

Signs in the Seventh House

The house of “the other” is fittingly the domain of the sign of harmony - Libra. Libra is ruled by the planet Venus. Venus’s Greek deity is famously Aphrodite, the goddess of union and beauty. Aphrodite is born off the coast of Cythera from the foam produced by the Ancient God, Uranus's genitals. So there was no sexual intercourse making her existance be a little more on the superficial side. She was so beautiful that Zeus was afraid she’d cause conflict between the gods (which she did anyway) so he married her off to the ugliest but the most unproblematic God Hephaestus. We can see that the theme of “opposites” came into play right from the start. Despite this, she was unfaithful to him and had many lovers. The most famous one of her affairs being with the God of war Ares (Mars/Aries), her exact opposite. Another famous story is the “Venus and Adonis” in which Aphrodite is attracted to a young hunter who has no interest in love. Aphrodite, being used to be the one who is pursued is taking on the role of “the other” and turns into this aggressive seducer. She loses her own self identity in the act of pursuing someone who she sees as her equal. At one point, she even tries to dress like Artemis so that Adonis would think she is a huntress like him… So, this is the house of what you think of other people you encounter initially. The part of you that you want to avoid so instead you see it in other people. You are bound to encounter what you refuse to identify with. More than intimacy, this is a union of the minds the ruler of the house Libra being an air sign. Interacting with other people gives us more clues about who we are than who they are. There can be immediate attraction or repulsion, depending on what kind of a relationship the person has with THEMSELVES.

♈︎Aries / Mars in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to take other people’s actions too personally. They might feel like the whole world is out to get them but that is not the case. One-on-one relationships build the person’s identity. They seek a partner who is fiery and a go-getter. Having a partner makes them feel sure of who they are. They may expect their partners to act or decide for them. People who’s got this aspect put harmony and balance in a relationship first. They expect honesty in relationships and they are very direct people themselves. They also jump into relationships way too quickly and end them abruptly. Even when putting balance first there is a sense of selfishness from time to time. They can expect much more in a relationship than they give. They might view themselves as faultless and be quick to blame the other party. Relationships for these people are always heated but also somehow light-hearted.   

♉︎Taurus / Venus (Day Chart) in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to value other people more than they deserve. At first, they are slow to trust people but once their trust is gained they dedicate their whole life to “the other”. One-on-one relationships have to be forever in the minds of these people. They seek a partner with who they are comfortable around. Someone who is trustworthy and stable and of course drop-dead-gorgeous.These people are not looking for a snack, they are looking for a whole meal. It is also common for those with this position to believe that money can buy them, love. Co-dependency patterns must be watched out for. They might become too attached to people and when they have to let go, they simply don’t want to. They view the people they love as their property almost. In a relationship, they think of themselves as the other party’s whole world. Relationships for these people have got to be based on true love and they have to be stable.    

♊︎Gemini / Mercury in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to be conflicted when it comes to dealing with other people. And they often try to be in multiple relationships at once since they really do think they can be in love with more than one person at the same time. One-on-one relationships can actually make them feel nervous because they have so much to say and share - so, even if they are not nervous they sure do come across as if they are because of the hectic energy. They seek a partner who is intelligent (but not more than them) and someone who keeps them on their toes at all times. They like the idea of teaching their partner something about life, so in all relationships, they come across as bossy or know-it-alls. The attraction for them is someone who experiences the chart owner as a teacher through life – they want someone who looks up to them. Relationships for these people have got to make sense. There is a tendency for these people to listen to their minds than their hearts when it comes to love. They always feel like they have to make a choice between options and it is common for them to change their minds often. 

♋︎Cancer / Moon in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to allow other people to affect themselves on a very emotional level. These people do shy away from one-on-one interactions because when they do, they tend to fall for people way too easily. Even the smallest act of care can win these people over who think of themselves to usually have a cold-exterior. They might seek a partner who reminds them of their mothers. A partner who is nurturing and perhaps older than them. They expect to be taken care of by their partners and be loved unconditionally. The partner in their lives has a lot of impact on their moods and overall sense of security. Co-dependency patterns must be watched out for. These people can easily be insecure when they do not feel like the person in front of them do not actually care for them. The unconditional love theme is highlighted here because if they do not feel like that, they might think that other people despise them. Two extreme cases...  Relationships for these people have got to be gentle and sincere. 

♌︎Leo / Sun in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to have a more naive attitude towards other people. These people usually seek out people who draw attention to themselves - someone who is confident enough to let their inner-child shine. They might also be more interested in people who remind them of something from their childhood. They like to interact with people since being social sparks their creative fires. They might act childish around people they especially fancy. Leo tends to want to dominate. In this case, the person with this placement might want to take control of the other’s personal choices or vice versa. Being in a relationship will boost the ego of these individuals and they just adopt a more positive point of view overall. They really like the idea of people helping each other to discover who they are in a lighthearted manner. Relationships for these people are like out of a movie. Very romantic at heart but often naive when it comes to love. 

♍︎Virgo / Ceres in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to be overly analytical of other people’s actions. These people may be very judgmental of their partners, especially when they don’t meet their expectations, which are pretty high. It is important for these people to remember to do their parts in one-on-one relationships, not just expecting their partners to do all the work. These people are attracted to people who seem to be put together. Interactions with others stress these people out since they are constantly up in their minds about how they come across especially when they fancy someone. In any partnership that a Virgo might form, it cannot be emphasized too much that there must not be a superficial partnership. These people want to dig deep down and knows every tiny thing about other people they encounter. Being in a relationship helps them to get their lives in order. For these people, relationships are based on people going out of their way to help each other.

♎︎Libra / Venus (Night Chart) in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to see other people as a threat to one’s own identity. There is an innate desire to harmonize with others but this desire can turn on them and lead them to do the exact opposite of this... to rebel. Libra is in its natural house here. However, these people may often forget that they have a role in the relationship that is other than receiving. They may perceive the relationship to be all about them and what the partner does to support and balance them while they maintain complete freedom to go off and do their own thing. Even a slight imbalance in the partnership may cause these people to give up on the relationship and go into another one. These people are attracted to good looking and peaceful people. Interactions with others often have a flirtatious vibe. They tend to think people fall in love with them easily when they also get easily attracted to people. Being in a relationship allows them to be in a more peaceful and comfortable mood. 

♏︎Scorpio / Pluto in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to be too intimate with other people from the get-go. Relationships are bound to be deep, intense, powerful, and profoundly intimate. They are all-in when they are in love with someone, sometimes to the point of obsession. With every partner who comes into their lives, they go through a deep transformation. Ending a relationship may feel like the end of the world until they construct another world with someone else. They may find that they attract partners that have depths of intimacy which can get scary sometimes. They are also very possessive over the ones they fancy to the point of losing themselves in the agony of jealousy. In their interactions with other people, they like to bring up the most hidden parts about themselves just to test what they would think about it. They are very attracted to people who are more on the mysterious side and who scream sexual energy. They like to dive deep into things they do not understand. A complicated personality is their ideal partner which can turn toxic real quick. They often confuse lust with love and form deep connections with people they should avoid.  

♐︎Sagittarius / Jupiter in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to try to out-do other people right from the start. They are usually attracted to people who give off the vibe that they do not have a care in the world. Even though they are very easy to form relationships they are mostly attracted to those who are “out of their league” or who play hard to get. They view relationships as a way to prove themselves to themselves... They learn a lot through partnerships since mind-expanding conversations is a way of flirting. Being in a relationship puts them in a good mood but they prefer to keep the emotional aspect of things light. They love to explore and be adventurous…and they love it, even more, when they have a partner on their side to experience this journey. Interacting with other people gives them very high dosages of energy. They enjoy studying other people’s motives and giving them advice about their lives even if it is none of their business. 

♑︎Capricorn / Saturn in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to feel undeserving of the person in front of you’s attention. Interacting with other people causes great anxiety which makes these people come across awkward. But when they work on themselves and push themselves out of their comfort zones they are masters at bonding with people. When they learn their Saturn lessons they are great at dealing with people and usually influence them a lot. These people tend to be attracted to those who remind them of their father or a dominant parent figure. They find ambition to be highly attractive. They are also very careful with who they pick as a partner. If they jump into a relationship too quickly it can cause great distress. Taking their time in partnerships is important for these people. A relationship should be built on solid ground - a tower moment is something hard for them to get over. When they are in a relationship they feel like they have a purpose (which should not be necessary). They take relationships very seriously. 

♒︎Aquarius / Uranus in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to try to play it cool and look unbothered when encountering people. These people tend to fall in love with people who are aloof and interesting. There is also this theme of falling for friends or friend-zoning people once they learn that they like them back. Yes. They usually love the game more than the player - meaning the thrill of the chase is what gets them going in romance. When interacting with other people they come across very friendly and they also view everybody as their friend, so when they are hurt by someone who is just an acquaintance it feels like a betrayal from a close friend. A relationship for them should be based on a very close friendship and once they are in love with someone that person becomes their whole World, and they expect the same in return. When they are in a relationship, they embrace their weird sides and be more bold about expressing themselves with someone who has accepted them as who they are on their side. 

♓︎Pisces / Neptune in the 7th House:

There is a tendency to lose oneself in other people’s ideals. The boundaries are very blurred between the individual and other people. They are huge people-pleasers and want to meet up to other people’s expectations. The good side is they are very capable of overcoming obstacles - the downside is they only do it when someone else asks for it. They are attracted to people who move them in a spiritual way. They like the idea of having a soul-mate. There is magic to this position and the greatest potential for a fairytale ending is hidden here, if only there is enough faith and devotion to reach this destination coming from both sides. These people dedicate their lives to others and lose their selves. Being in a relationship makes them feel like they are living in a dream, they have to watch out for the warning signs though since the dream can turn into a nightmare and they would only realize it after they wake up from it - if they ever can. 

(Art: “Venus and Adonis” by Charles-Joseph Natoire)

[heyheshi]

"Baby, we're going to have our own family!"

2.9k words

written and uploaded: July 13, 2020

🦋 - fluff

🌙 - angst...?

Please like and reblog! Also please don’t post my writings anywhere!

Also this was supposed to be really short, like just about 700 words but I couldn’t help it!

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

_________

"H, are you sure you want to go to the doctors with me?", you asked your husband for the third time in the last 30 minutes.

"Baby stop doing that!", furrowing his eyebrows as he looks at you accusingly - talking about how you're asking him that question again and about your food as you toy it around your plate using your fork.

Earlier after he woke up, Harry made sure that your day starts off as great as possible. He's so giddy. He knows that this day is going to be wonderful. He can just feel it - and so he made sure to wake you up with his kisses and a huge variety of healthy breakfast.

By "huge variety of healthy breakfast", that meant different slices of fresh fruits and organic vegetables, whole-wheat bread, cereals, yogurt, scrambled eggs, bacon (your absolute favorite and he cannot forget to add that), freshly squeezed orange juice, fresh cow milk, and mixed nuts.

He really went all the way with your meal and you're really thankful for that. 2 months ago, you would think that the two of you can't finish all of this food in just one sitting but how wrong could you be? Harry ate a lot but you're kind of having almost the same portion as him, not that he minds, he wants to keep you as healthy as possible for the baby on the way even though you told him that you're not certain about it just yet.

He made sure to talk to the hotel's head chef just to prepare your breakfast and strictly said "just the best and freshest once for my wife and make sure not to add any preservatives, just all-natural", and that's how you got here.

He even insisted on not ordering a coffee for you. You LOVE your morning coffee but H said that it's not good for your heart - which is true. You think he's being kind of dramatic and overprotective but you like it a lot.

It seems like everything he does is way too great; hormones. But it's not like you're gonna admit it to him anyway, it'll boost his ego more, your husband is narcissistic.

"Babe, babeeee, baby??!", you came back into reality. You didn't even notice that Harry has been snapping his fingers in front of your eyes.

"Sorry, just got ca-"

"Too caught up in my handsome looks, huh?", your husband winks at you, he always teases you!

You just rolled your eyes at his antics, "course not!", you said defensively. "Was just thinking! Plus, I wasn't even staring at you!"

"Yeah sure lovie. What's on that pretty little head of yours, hmm?", he leaned his elbows on the table and put his head on his hand.

"Just thinking 'bout how you took my morning coffee away and thinking 'bout what my lunch's gonna be."

"Stop bein' grumpy", he just chuckled at your answer, knowing your sarcasm really well, "just finish your breakfast so we can leave. Already called the clinic for our appointment. It's at 10 a.m., I don't wanna be late.", he just continued eating his part but you're the exact opposite - you froze.

"You what?"

"What? Said finish your food... and that I booked our appointment...?", he asked uncertainty. He's really confused right now and you are too! You're not even sure why you're confused, you just are. Maybe over the fact that H is so excited about this and you might not even be pregnant.

Of course, you're happy with how he's acting. You're just worried that this might just be a false alarm and it will crush him so much.

"Why did you?", you looked down at your plate then quickly stuffing your mouth with the rest of your food while Harry answered.

"Just wanna be the best dad and husband you could ever ask for", he sounds sad, he really thought that you would be happy, you already talked about going to the doctors last night anyways!

"Okay.", you shortly replied and stood up to your seat rounding the table. Harry felt his chest tightening - too much - he thought, until he felt your arms around his neck from behind and tucking your face on his neck. He quickly interlaced your fingers with his.

"I love you", you quietly whispered to his right ear. "You don't know how much this means to me, you're already the best, gunna be the best dad.", you pressed a kiss on his neck. "I just don't want you to get hurt if I'm not pregnant.", your voice seemed to get quieter with each word.

Harry just stood up from his seat and faced you, "whatever happens, we're going to be okay, alright? If we're not pregnant then it's fine, I'm not going to lie and say that I won't be affected by it because I know I will be, but let's always keep in mind that God already has better plans for us, okay?", he leaned in to kiss your forehead.

You just squeezed your face in his shirt, "I'm scared of another heartbreak. I really want this with you.", you said and Harry felt his shirt getting damp.

"Nothing's going to change. I'll still love you more than ever and will always be here to take care of you", he's now whispering while wiping your tears. Everything about this is so intimate. "I love you too, so much Y/N", with that, more tears fall as you kissed him like your life depends on it.

---

"Patient 104, the doctor is ready to see you.", you heard the nurse called your number.

With shaking limbs, you managed to stand up and walk to the doctor's office while Harry assisted you.

"Mister and missus Styles! It's so nice to meet you in person! I'm Doctor Amelia Welsh, just Doc Amy", your doctor looks friendly and it eased you a bit.

"Harry", your husband shook the doctor's hand then slowly turned to you, "and this is my wife, Y/N.", you smiled as you shook her hand.

"Such a lovely couple! Anyway, you called last night, right Harry?", Doctor Amy asked as she sat on her spinning chair while you and Harry take a seat on the opposite side of her table.

"I did, yes. We wanted to have a check-up on my wife", your husband did all the talking, you know he can sense your nervousness.

You're eyes slowly observed the clinic. It almost looked identical to yours, with the office table on the middle and a medical bed on the far left side of the office and a rack full of different medical supplies, the only difference is that your clinic has so many baby pictures and toys for your patients to play around with.

"Okay, so what seems to be the problem? I already got a hold of your medical records, Mrs. Styles, or should I call you Doctor Styles too?", Doctor Amy joked and it made you chuckle a bit.

"I'm a patient right now so I'll just stick with Mrs. Styles", you felt Harry squeezed your hand that he's holding and you smiled to yourself. He always loves it when you claim your self as "Mrs. Styles". He said it makes him all warm and fuzzy and makes him just wanna love on you all day, every day.

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong."

"Ummm okay, so I've been eating a lot - more than usual, it can be because of stress since I'm a stress - eater...", you took a deep breath and look at Harry then back at her, "also I've been feeling nauseated and often having sickness, but in the afternoon not morning so I thought it might be my eyesight."

"Hmm okay please continue", the Doctor continues jotting down on her note pad at a fast pace, you understand it tho, you do the same stuff every day.

"I'm more often bloated than not but this one's different, my abdomen looks bigger than usual..."

"When was the last time you had your period? I know your period is irregular but I still need to know", the doctor pulled her glasses down on the bridge of her nose.

"I think it was November...", you're really not sure, you gave up on tracking your period when it downed to you that your period is never gonna be regular at all.

"Last time you had sexual intercourse?", your face feels hot but you know that these kind of questions are relevant, on your side you can see Harry's ears become reddish.

As if your husband can sense that you're not going to answer that question, he stepped up even though he's shy about it, "last night."

It's not that the two of you are embarrassed about your sex life, it's the opposite actually, you just want to keep it private.

Doctor Welsh just smiled at both of your embarrassment, "well how long had you been feeling this? Did you took a pregnancy test?", she looked back down and continued scribbling.

"Just this January, I never really paid much attention, and I did, a couple of weeks ago, 12 positives and 3 negatives."

"Okay well, why don't we take a look? You can change into this gown and lay in there", she said giving you the gown and pointing at the bed on her clinic, "I'll be back in a few."

You looked at Harry and as if he can hear the voices inside your head, he pulled you into him and kissed your cheek, "we'll be alright", he smiled at you but you can tell that he's really nervous too.

You both are, this is the break it or make it time of your lives. You're not sure if you're ready for it but you shook your thoughts out of your mind and changed into the gown and went to the bed, Harry hot on your heels, quickly took a seat beside the bed and held your right hand.

"I love you", he whispered, he thinks he's as nervous as the first time he auditioned on the X-Factor, when he asked you to become his girlfriend, or when he asked you to become his wife, all combined.

"I love you too", you kissed his knuckles as he smiled at you.

It didn't take long for the doctor to come back.

"Ready?", she asked and you nodded. She set the machine up and made sure you're comfortable before putting the gel on your tummy.

Nobody dared to make a sound and you never dare to look anywhere besides Harry's eyes as he presses his lips on your palm.

"Okay...", you hear the doctor mumbled that made you whip your head up to her.

You looked at the monitor and saw it, there's a heartbeat. You knew what exactly it was but your husband doesn't since he never accompanied someone to an ultrasound appointment before.

And then the silent room heard it, the heartbeat.

"Wa- was that...", Harry slowly looked at you with red eyes.

"Yes", you whispered while nodding your head.

This is it.

"Oh wait", the doctor said suddenly, you froze, this can't be happening! There's nothing wrong with anything! Everything is fine!

You never dared to look at the monitor and Harry too, much too scared of hearing the next words that will come out of the doctor's mouth.

You're finally pregnant and you're going to love your child with everything you have and you just hope there's nothing wrong with your baby.

"What was it?", Harry asked in a croaked voice, still not looking up.

"Well, I'm seeing... not one, but two heartbeats!"

Both of your heads snapped back at the monitor and there you see it! From a different angle are two little heartbeats, two blips, two fetuses, two babies in the future!

You almost felt your heart stop from so much happiness!

"Congrats you're having twins! You're about 8 weeks pregnant!", Doctor Amy rejoiced but you still cannot move, neither can Harry until...

"I- oh my God! Is this real?! Is this really happening?! Oh God Oh God Oh God!", Harry jumped from his seat covering his face with his hands.

"Baby, we're going to have our own family!", H crouched down next to your bed while slowly kissing your nose and that's when it finally sunk in! You're pregnant! And with twins! This is more than you could ever ask for!

You're nodding your head repeatedly with tears running to your cheeks rapidly while Harry tried to catch everything.

"Happy, I'm so so happy, H."

"Me too my love, me too... twins?! I- thank you so much baby, you're so wonderful to me and I-", you didn't let him finish talking as you kissed him, not caring if the doctor is still in the room.

After you pulled away, you only smiled at him and pecked his lips once again. Harry helped you clean up the gel on your tummy and go back to your seat earlier, the doctor is already there typing on her computer.

"Congratulations again! Twins are hefty but I'm sure you can both handle it!", you thanked her and proceeded to talk about the pregnancy.

"I'm assuming you already know what to expect, what to do, and not to do, and what to eat mostly, yes? Hopefully, you didn't consume any alcoholic drinks during the last at least 10 weeks and no birth control at all", Amy asked.

"We do know, yes. And no, I didn't drink, and no, none at all.", you're smiling so big, mirroring H.

"Well then, there's really not much to discuss other than your next ultrasound. You two would be great parents! Do you have any questions?"

"Not for now, I think...", and Harry agrees with you.

"If you do then don't think twice of calling me. I'll print the pictures and have my assistant help you with the next appointment if you need to be transferred to another country then let her know, I'll have her recommend you on my pals", the doctor smiled and almost left the room but...

"Can you make it 5 copies?", H asked suddenly.

The doctor looked back and laughed, "of course, you'll just gonna need to pay extra on your way out", she replied.

"That's won't be a problem, just make it 5 please!", Harry looks and sounds like a child asking for another cookie.

"It's settled!", with that, the doctor finally left the room.

The silence is really comfortable as you change back into your normal clothes.

"H, why 5 copies? We don't need that much!", you laughed as you slowly approached your husband to leave the room.

He only smiled and simply answered, "one for you, one for me, one for your parents, one for mines, then one for their album - I'm getting it enlarged and framed."

You just melted as his answer so you just hugged him tight, “I’m having your baby, and it is your business”, you joked and he laughed, exchanging "I love you's".

---

You're back at the car now, looking at the ultrasound pictures. You can see on your peripheral vision how big Harry is grinning.

He faced you and lifted up your shirt, the car still in the parking lot of the hospital. Thank God you managed to be discreet as possible, not seeing any paps insight.

"Hello bundles!", he greeted your tummy with a kiss.

"See, I know you're both there, daddy can sense it. Can't wait to hold you both and protect you from the world", he looked up at you. "Please don't give mummy a hard time, especially now that there's two of you and daddy's gonna be away a lot, but I promise to be there while you two bake in there as much as possible!", he kissed your tummy once more and pulled down your shirt.

You can't help but grin at him, "bundles? And bake?", you asked your husband while laughing, your shoulders shaking from how many laughs you're producing.

"Bundles, they're two, that's what you call it baby! Like the buy one take one thing on the store, bundles! And bake cause they're a bun in the oven, your tummy's the oven and they're the buns! Bundle buns!", he looks so excited while explaining his shenanigans to you.

You face palmed yourself but can't help but to fall in love with him more, if that's possible.

"Know what baby? Let's just get lunch, yeah?", he only nod but he didn't find your response offensive.

You secretly loved his terms "bundles" and "bake", it makes your heart warm.

"What're you all craving, tell daddy!", you slapped his arms at his double meaning!

You answered either way, "we want pasta, daddy!", then winked at him.

"If pasta is what my babies want then pasta is what we'll get!", his hands found your lap to hold your hand but yours isn't there.

He then looked at you holding your tummy with a fond smile on your face and he joined your hands with his, both of you caressing your babies.

"32 weeks baby, 32 weeks.", you said to H and he smiled at you, looking back on the road.

"I'm already thinking of getting us a customized Gucci family clothes for when they arrive!", H cheekily said to you but you know he's not kidding so you just agreed along with him.

You know you're gonna love this pregnancy already. Not only you got one, but two babies! You're more blessed than ever! Plus, you're sure that Harry's going to be giving you everything you crave for! Midnight ice cream sessions, here we come!

_____

[aer-in-wanderland]

구미호뎐 | Tale of the Nine Tailed - Lost in Translation EP02

Back by, possibly not popular, but certainly very enthusiastic demand: my sister’s and my continued adventures in mistranslation and cultural subtext. You can find EP01 here. Buckle up and settle in for another monster post because, wow, a lot happened in this episode. Contains spoilers. 

Prologue

We open with a sweeping view of Baekdudaegan as Yeon narrates about his past as the god who presided over it. For context, Baekdudaegan is the biggest and most famous mountain range in Korea, taking up an enormous swath of the Korean peninsula (to the extent that it’s often referred to as its ‘spine’ or ‘backbone’). So Yeon wasn’t lying when he said he was a ‘major’ mountain god. ;) 

Yeon: You could say these were my Leeds Days. I was the master of Baekdudaegan, a mountain god who controlled the wind and rain,* and a gumiho who was, from the start, of a different caliber than the mongrel foxes you see in Hometown of Legends.  ...Or, I was.”

[*Note: Can also be taken to mean ‘the natural elements’ in general.]

When Yeon refers to his ‘glory days,’ the term he uses is ‘Leeds Era’ (리즈시절). Originally a sporting term for the height of a footballer’s career, in Korean, the expression has come to be used to describe a person’s bygone glory days. The modern figure of speech (complete with English loan word) makes for a funny counterpoint to the Yeon we see on screen and recalls the mint-chocolate loving American TV show enthusiast we’ve known him as so far. 

The other modern reference he makes is to Hometown of Legends (전설의 고향), which has been the title of numerous dramas and movies (1977-2018) centered around Korean myths and legends. This is basically the equivalent of an alien referencing the X-files. Overall, the narration serves to remind us just how modern our gumiho has become and clashes humorously with the visual onscreen.

Yeon’s above narration concludes with the first appearance of little Ah Eum, who immediately proceeds to pet the mighty master of Baekdudaegan as if he were her pet dog pfft (thus the ‘....or I was.’) 

As an aside, tvN released some backstory information revealing that Ah Eum had gone to find Yeon in order to pray for rain. Which means she pet him in spite of that lol We also know from the past-life sequence in episode 10 that she had actually been warned never to venture anywhere near his mountain because a 1000 year old gumiho lived there. It’s almost as if her guardians don’t know her at all...

For anyone keeping track, Ah Eum uses banmal with Yeon from the very beginning. We find out why later. As a princess (even one who had been discarded), she’s used to outranking everyone around her and therefore speaking almost exclusively in banmal. To be fair, with her temperament, Yeon being a 1000+ year old mountain god probably just wasn’t enough to get him an automatic pass from her. Point for Ah Eum/Ji Ah character continuity. 

Yeon: If I could rewrite* my past just once, I would return to this moment without hesitation. So that that child could never find me. 

[*Note: Literally, ‘A/S my past,’ which I’m pretty sure has its roots in computer usage. So again, thoroughly modern vocabulary from the former master of Baekdudaegan.]

We transition from young to grown Ah Eum with a sweep of the Red Umbrella. According to tvN again, this umbrella was actually a gift from Ah Eum to Yeon, and it’s also the same umbrella Yeon still carries everywhere. It’s somewhat poetic, then, that it was this umbrella that lead Ji Ah to him. So, a meaningful item on multiple fronts. 

Yeon: Some called it, ‘the scandal of the age that shook Baekdudaegan.’ To think, a mountain god who had given his heart to a human... Nowadays, it would have felt like a disciplinary hearing, but I didn’t care a whit. I liked her [presence] permeating my woods. 

As you might have guessed, this love story ends in tragedy. Someone stole her life. Once she crossed the River of Three Crossings, I would never be able to see her again. I couldn’t hold on to her, but nor could I bear to let her go...so I resorted to abusing my power. 

The BGM playing as Yeon narrates the ending of his tragic story is ‘The Parting at the River of Three Crossings,’ which I think of as the epic love theme of TotNT alongside ‘Sad Fate.’ Why do I keep mentioning the BGM? No reason, other than that it interests me. ;)

On a linguistic note, Yeon’s line, ‘Someone stole her life’ caught my attention from the first time I watched this due to his unusual usage of the word ‘life.’ Korean has multiple words for ‘life.’ The one that would typically be used in this context is ‘moksoom’ (목숨), which I think of as having the nuance of one’s life force. So to steal one’s ‘moksoom’ would mean to kill them. Instead, he uses ‘insaeng’ (인생), which is more like the life one leads. To steal someone’s ‘insaeng’ sounds more like a case of identity theft. As we find out later, that actually is what Imoogi did, and this hinted at that linguistically. 

I’m not sure how well this translated, but the gesture of Yeon kneeling is both epic and heartbreaking. Kneeling is a very weighty gesture in Korea, so for Yeon to use his godly powers to freeze the very River to the Afterlife only to kneel and beg for one last moment with Ah Eum is just... It’s a momentous enough gesture for Taluipa, the ultimate stickler for rules, to make an exception and grant his request. 

The fox bead: In Japanese lore, a fox’s bead is often akin to its life force, but that’s clearly not the case for Yeon. In Korean lore, fox beads are sometimes called ‘the treasure of a fox’s lips,’ since the bead is supposedly located within the fox’s mouth (and can thus be stolen/gifted with a kiss). Some tellings claim that someone who swallows a fox’s bead gains understanding of all things and phenomena in the universe, while others say they grant the bearer’s wishes. 

Yeon continues his narration, describing how he’s encountered women with Ah Eum’s face over the centuries, but that none of them were her. For anyone interested, you can find my hot take on that here.

Okay, can we please have a spin-off of Yeon hunting down folklore monsters in Japanese-occupied Korea Gaksital (2012)-style?

Fun fact: Based on some of the still cuts they released, there was actually a deleted scene in which Yeon pulled the late-Joseon era Ah Eum look-alike aside, checked her for the fox bead, and then erased her memories. (And by ‘fun’ I mean, ‘why would you delete that??’)

“I’ve been waiting for you.” Iconic.

Fun fact: Lee Dong Wook picked this as the most memorable line of the drama due to it’s thematic echoing across multiple episodes. 

On the topic of the tranquilizer, there was a deleted scene in episode 1 in which Ji Ah very openly 'borrowed’ it from Shin Joo’s vet clinic because she already suspected Yeon was a fox: fox fur, Fox Ridge... She was taking a pretty big gamble though since he’s not exactly your average fox. 

It’s worth noting that Ji Ah doesn’t say she was ‘looking’ for Yeon (although she was, because she’s a go-get-‘em kind of girl); she says she was ‘waiting’ for him. I took this to mean she was waiting for him to return and make good on his threat to kill her (since, not only had she not forgotten, she’d been actively sticking her nose into anything remotely supernatural or unexplainable), at which point, presumably, she planned to turn the tables on him. 

Episode 02 Title Card: I’ve Been Waiting for You

For anyone wondering how Ji Ah managed to get Yeon back up to his penthouse, apparently she told the security desk her boyfriend was drunk and boldly took him back up in the elevator (presumably with help) haha

Possibly coincidentally, Yeon’s first line to Ji Ah when he regains consciousness is the same as his first line to little Ah Eum: ‘Do you want to die?’ (minus the sageuk speak)

Ji Ah’s line, “I wouldn’t be sipping tea here if I was worried about that,” would more literally be: “If I valued my life, would I be sitting here drinking flower tea?”

Lol Ji Ah. “Want a cup?” is such a classy power play. 

Sub: “After the stunt you pulled, you’re actually offering me tea?” Ha. Also, what Yeon literally says is: “You pulled that variety-esque stunt, and your next line is what? ‘A cup of tea’?” ‘Variety’ here is an English loan word meant in the sense of ‘variety shows’ (ex. Running Man or 1 Night 2 Days), though to my knowledge, no one has ever been tranquilized on one. 

The following exchange was littered with enough small things I would have changed that I’ll just translate the whole thing here for reference:

Ji Ah: When a man and a woman have that level of physical contact, don’t they usually also drink tea or eat meals together, too? These days, the whole pure and noble act doesn’t go far.

Yeon: Whether it does or not, when you’re at a disadvantage, isn’t it considered common courtesy to come [to the table] having put aside either your pride or your self-esteem [i.e. at least one of the two]? 

Ji Ah: Listen until the end before you determine who’s at a disadvantage.

Yeon: (Nodding) In exchange, if my thinking still doesn’t change, you’ll pay the price for having tested me. 

Ji Ah: Price?

Yeon: Your sight (literally ‘eyes’). I’ll be taking your eyes that have seen what they shouldn’t have.

Ji Ah: Deal. (literally, ‘call’ as in poker)

Rang & Yoo Ri Crash a Funeral

In the off chance you were wondering why this is basically the only time we see Rang driving Yoo Ri and not the other way around, it’s because Yoo Ri is ‘in character’ as the daughter of a major conglomerate and wouldn’t be expected to drive herself if there was another person in the car. In Korea, there’s a whole code of etiquette around who sits where in the car. 

Instead of ‘Lee Rang-nim’ the subs have Yoo Ri addressing Rang as ‘sir.’ That just strikes me as so distant and cold...

To my thinking, this scene was peak ‘Hoket-dan.’ It was nearly the same level of over-the-top campy as some of the old supervillains. If I’m being perfectly honest, I was worried at this point that Rang’s character would turn out to be equally 2D. Joke’s on me though, ‘cause this later became a hilarious character quirk when Sajang says to Rang, “It can’t be that you came to enjoy watching me die?” and Rang responds, “I love doing that! Look, I even brought popcorn. I even go about visiting funeral homes and stuff on purpose.” lol

Ji Ah’s Gamble

Okay, but Yeon actually took her up on tea haha I love it. 

Subs: “So you’re a fox that’s pretending to be human.” The word they use here (and throughout the drama) is ‘doongap’ (둔갑), which is literally ‘to assume the form of.’ Unfortunately, there’s no verb in English that neatly conveys that, so this gets subbed a lot of ways. I’ve mostly been translating it as ‘transform,’ but that’s more properly ‘byeonshin’ (변신). Sometimes with translation, the best option still isn’t great. 

It’s also worth noting that this is actually not what Yeon is doing here, since he sees those sorts of tricks as beneath him. Yeon is a cheon’ho; his human form is his own. 

Sub: “What a lame reaction. A normal human being would scream...” More literally: “What kind of reaction is so lacking in sincerity? Generally, if [you’re] a human, I should at least get a scream...” Again, both ‘reaction’ and ‘scream’ are in English, and, somewhat humorously, Yeon uses the verb + juda (주다) form, implying he was hoping to elicit a scream with his reveal pfft

Sub: “No. I knew something like you would exist somewhere out in this world. I started directing a TV show about urban legends so I could catch you myself.” This is mostly fine, but what she says more literally is: “No. I knew something like you would exist somewhere in this world. In order to catch [one] myself, I buried my bones in a TV show about urban legends.” To ‘bury ones bones’ means ‘to devote oneself entirely to’ and implies more drive and dedication than in the sub. The subject is once again omitted, so she could mean Yeon, but I think she actually means ‘things like Yeon’ more generally. 

Yeon’s line to Ji Ah when she asks him about their long ago encounter was subbed as: “I followed the smell of blood, and I ended up saving a little kid. But I can see that she’s very ungrateful.”  I would translate this as:

Yeon: I smelled blood and followed it, and ended up saving some little girl (lit. young child), but now I see that that child is trying to repay a favor with enmity.

The expression Yeon uses here, to ‘repay a favor (eunhye) with enmity (wonsoo),’ is a common turn of phrase. It’s the Korean equivalent of ‘biting the hand that feeds you,’ or ‘repaying good with ill.’ Considering eunhye has actual consequences for Yeon, he doesn’t seem all that put out. 

Lol Something about Lee Dong Wook’s delivery of Yeon’s line, “So you lost your parents...” reminds me of the Oscar Wilde quote: ‘To lose one parent may be regarded as misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.’ 

Sub: “I’m not threatening you. I’m taking my chances.” This should be: “You’re mistaken. I’m not threatening; I’m gambling.” This turn of phrase is rather clever in Korean since ‘threat’ (협박) and ‘gamble’ (도박) are only one syllable off. In terms of the subs, while ‘gambling’ and ‘taking my chances’ are similar on the surface, they’re different enough in nuance that I would consider this a mistranslation. ‘Gambling’ implies an informed, calculated risk, whereas ‘taking my chances’ gives the impression of improvisation and leaving everything up to luck. 

The Funeral Parlour

This scene is Rang in a nutshell. I actually don’t have much to comment on linguistically, but it was definitely an important scene for establishing Rang’s MO and motivations. 

Shin Joo & Yeon

Yeon and Shin Joo meet up at the ice cream parlour to debrief on the situation with Ji Ah, and it’s cute how Shin Joo is more indignant over what went down than Yeon.

Subs: “It’s like we exist to repay people for their kindness.” This has been grossly paraphrased due to lack of cultural context. His line is literally: 

Shin Joo: It’s not as if we’re magpies meticulously repaying our eunhye! Geez, how long do we have to be bound by that sort of premodern contractual relationship?” 

This is another Korean folktale reference, this time to the story of The Grateful Magpies. I elaborated on it a bit here.

Yeon: “It’s old-fashioned but romantic. And it's also a fox’s dignity.”  ‘Romantic’ here is the French loan word ‘romang’  (로망). In contrast to the English ‘romantic’ (which is also used), ‘romang’ is used to refer to ‘anything marked by the imaginative or emotional appeal of what is heroic, adventurous, remote, mysterious, or idealized.’ ‘Dignity’ could also be translated as ‘grace of character.’ Yeon’s preoccupation with style/swagger/dignity is enough of a recurring theme (and occasional joke) that it features in his character profile.

For anyone keeping track, Shin Joo refers to Ah Eum as ‘Ah Eum agasshi.’ ‘Agasshi’ meaning ‘miss’ or ‘lady.’

Shin Joo’s line is subbed, “Does she bother you?” but it should be: ‘Does it bother you?’ where ‘it’ refers to the fact that Ji Ah so closely resembles Ah Eum. 

Sub: “I’ve seen tons of people who looked like her for hundreds of years.” It’s actually not ‘tons of people,’ but ‘a couple’/‘several’ over the course of hundreds of years. Let’s be honest, people as pretty as Jo Bo Ah just aren’t born every day. ;)

Yeon’s line may be overly blunt, but it’s sweet that he calls Shin Joo, ‘Shin Joo-ya.’

Back over to Ji Ah. The way this scene suddenly switches from sentimental to horrifying is great. I also like that it’s unclear when she fell asleep. The boundary between reality and unreality is as blurred for the viewers as it is for Ji Ah, and it leaves us with a similar sense of disquiet.

In case it wasn’t already clear, it’s the tooth on this skull that leads Ji Ah to Eohwa Island. She sees a skull with an identical tooth in the news and goes to investigate. 

Afterlife Immigration Office

LOL Hyeonuiong briefing the newly departed on death via powerpoint is hilarious. The powerpoint reads: ‘A Guide to Hell for the Dead, Presenter: Hyeonuiong.’  The red sigil on the right bears the characters ‘十王’ (the Ten Kings), so I guess this is an official, Afterlife-approved slideshow. heh

Side note: I’m impressed with the way this show seamlessly shifts between genres. We went from emotional to creepy to funny without it feeling forced or jarring (or at least, it didn’t to me). 

The powerpoint (complete with webtoon) continues cheerily: “Hell! What is the Afterlife?” / “The 10 Types of Hell.” pfft Who made these slides? Whoever they are, point to them.

Subs: “You know King Hades, right?” WOW This is bordering on cultural whitewashing if you ask me. This should be King Yeomra (aka King Enma). He’s one of the Ten Kings of the Afterlife, and quite arguably the most famous. 

The sub here says Taluipa is Yeomra’s older sister, which is understandable since the antiquated word Hyeonuiong uses (누이), doesn’t specify older or younger. We find out in the final episode, though, that Taluipa is actually Yeomra’s younger sister. As far as I’m aware, this is not part of the original lore.

Lol Yeon being a drama king: “I’m going to take revenge! Thanks to her, my obligatory military service has already gone on for 600 years~!” (You’re not fooling anyone, sir)

“No way! A man’s hair is his life! My red-brown...” Fun fact: It was actually Lee Dong Wook’s idea to make Yeon’s hair red-brown, both as a nod to him being a fox, and to give him a more otherworldly look. 

Why do the gods keep saying reincarnation is random when everyone we see reincarnated kept their face??

‘Oh my god” lol Watching kdrama characters react in English never gets old. Possibly because there’s something exaggerated or overdramatic in the conscious decision to use English instead of Korean.

A++ response from Yeon. I saw something going around to the effect of, ‘this show really just said love is love,’ and I love that. Point to the writer. 

The BGM here is once again ‘Thread Rings.’ Given where it keeps being used, I’m fairly certain they’re somehow related to Ji Ah/Ah Eum... (So I guess there actually is a reason I’m paying attention to the BGM ;p).  Lee Dong Wook just disclosed the behind the scenes scoop on the rings in his latest VLIVE.

This bulgasari is such a mild-mannered person. Like Shin Joo, he calls Ji Ah ‘PD-nim’ and speaks politely and deferentially. 

Not for anything, but I really liked Jo Bo Ah’s delivery of Ji Ah’s line, ‘I saw a corpse.’ Her little mannerisms really sold Ji Ah to me as a person and not just a character.  

Bulgasari: “That dream, can you sell it to me? I want to play the lottery.” In addition to the concept of symbolism in dreams, Koreans also have a common notion that dreams can be bought and sold. It’s funny, though, when you consider he’s probably just planning to eat the dream. 

I love whenever Taluipa calls Yeon, ‘Yeon-ah.’ She’s normally so prickly that it’s notable when she's affectionate. Also, seeing as Yeon is older than 95% of our characters, there aren’t many who might address him like this with the affectionate diminutive. 

Heh, Yeon refers to Ji Ah’s favor as a ‘civil complaint.’

When Yeon asks Ji Ah for her parent’s times and dates of birth, what he’s actually asking for is their ‘saju’ (literally, ‘four pillars’). You can find my explanation here.

The Snail Bride

Bok Hye Ja: “It’s the first time he’s brought someone (literally ‘a person’).” Normally this would mean, ‘it’s the first time he’s brought a guest,’ but in this case, I’m fairly certain she means, ‘it’s the first time he’s brought a human.’ ;)

“I won’t ask you to understand.” This was another exchange that made me love Ji Ah. I found her frank and sincere apology refreshing.

On a personal note, I loved watching Yeon recalibrate his estimation of Ji Ah in this scene. And it was also a scene in which viewers got to recalibrate their impressions of Yeon. Yeon is feigning indifference, but he makes a point of asking after Ji Ah’s feelings, which is not insignificant. It’s also in sharp contrast to what we’ve seen of Rang so far.

Oh my gosh, THAT PUFFBALL DOG (and it’s name is Bean-ie) XD

Minor detail, but where did Shin Joo get his necklace? Wait. OH MY GOD. Shin Joo is the Aquaman of TotNT. Yeon gets to be Batman and Superman rolled into one and Shin Joo’s power is that he ‘talks to fish animals.’ Dead. 

Lol Ji Ah watching Yeon eat. I feel like this is a running joke. In the tales, gumiho notoriously eat people’s livers, so seeing him eat normal food must be a bit eye-opening. 

The text description for Shin Don was left untranslated in the version we’re watching but it reads: In A History of Goryeo, there’s record of Shin Don, a monk from the time of King Gongmin’s reign (1351-1374 C.E.), having been an old fox.

Subs: “Is it true that the monk of Goryeo Dynasty was a fox?” Us: ‘Yes, the one monk in all of Goryeo and for all of Goryeo. Guess he’d have to have been a fox in that case.’ This should probably have been translated as: "So then, Shin Don...is it a fact that the Goryeo monk Shin Don was a fox?”

Ji Ah: “Oh my god.” heh

Do You Really Want to See It?

Wait, they walked all the way from Insadong to Digital Media City? Okay, this is one of the (few) pitfalls of being fairly familiar with Seoul. Sometimes it’s really obvious when two locations don’t connect and then it pulls me out of the drama. I think we’re supposed to believe that the Snail Bride is in the vicinity of Ji Ah’s broadcast station, seeing as her team are lunchtime regulars, but the the two neighborhoods are nowhere near each other.

Yeon’s line in the subs here is: “A. I’m a busy man. B. We may currently be living in the same world, but there is a big difference between where we come from.” Personally, I would have translated this as: “Firstly, I haven’t got that much free time. Secondly, we may be unavoidably living mingled together, but the world I belong to and the world you belong to are incontrovertibly different.”

Subs: “Those who got a peek at my world ended up going crazy or dying young.” More literally: “In the past, there have been those who got a glimpse of the world’s secrets. Well, most of them either went mad or had their lives cut short.”

Minor detail, but Ji Ah’s response subbed as: “I don’t care. I’ll stay out of your way. Just don’t disappear.” should more literally be: “Just don’t disappear from my sight (lit. ‘from before me’).”

The sub on Ji Ah’s line here reads: “She (Sae Rom) and I both had nightmares.” What she actually says is: “Me and my hubae also had nightmares,” meaning that she (Ji Ah) and Jae Hwan had nightmares in addition to Sae Rom. Which is why Yeon refers to them as ‘contagious’. 

Okay, is it just me, or does LDW look exceptionally unreal in this scene? 

Bulgasari

I’m not familiar with the actor who plays the bulgasari (pretty sure he’s a new face), but he did a great job making his movements uncanny here. The firey CG effects are fun too.

Heck yeah! Yeon sure knows how to make an entrance. Seeing as how he instructed Ji Ah on what to do, I’m pretty sure he was there the whole time......show-off.

Once again, I’m digging the fight scene underscored by ‘The Uninvited.’ I would happily watch an entire series that’s just Yeon and Ji Ah solving supernatural cases and hunting down baddies who disturb the peace. 

The Smirk™ XD  I’m 90% sure this was another LDW ad lib.  

Lol Yeon. Subs: “Really? Then am I the jerk here?” More literally: “Really? Then I guess I’m the only bad guy, huh?” 

On a linguistic note, the bulgasari speaks to Yeon in old-timey speech, once again playing up their mutual identity as creatures of lore. 

It’s only at this point that, prompted by Ji Ah, Yeon finally reveals the bulgasari’s identity. This is accompanied by a brief chyron telling us that they appear when the world is in disorder, and Ji Ah supplies that they eat nightmares. 

To elaborate a bit, bulgasari are one of the better known Korean creatures of lore. There are two different sets of hanja for them: (bulgasari 不可殺伊 ‘can-not-kill’) and (bulgasari 火可殺伊 ‘fire-can-kill’), which explains why, depending on the telling, they’re either un-killable or only die by fire. In traditional lore, feeding them metal makes them grow larger and stronger, which, while not the case in TotNT, is probably what inspired the coin-gobbling. 

Subs: “Yes they are especially fond of broadcasting studios, which are packed with people. Eating metal reveals their true identities.” That subtitle went a bit sideways. It’s not that they like broadcast stations in particular, but crowded places like broadcast stations. So it should read: “They like places with lots of people, like the broadcast station, and if you feed them metal, they reveal their true colors.”

Okay, Yeon’s line that’s subtitled as, “The hostage will answer,” is more literally: “Hey, hostage. Try answering me.” It’s worth noting that, while he calls her ‘injil-bun’ (injil = hostage + bun = the polite word for a person), he’s still speaking to her in banmal, so he’s once again being cheeky. 

It’s taking some license, but I would translate Yeon’s question to Ji Ah here as: “In this moment,* what exactly can you do other than rely on me to save you?” which is essentially what he means. [*Note: literally, ‘at this timing,’ and once again, ‘timing’ is in English.]

We get a series of short scenes lining up some of the side characters who will become our key players on the island: the fisherman find the severed head, Ji Ah grills Detective Baek about the case, and Rang approaches Pyung Hee with his usual devil’s bargain pitch. I didn’t really notice anything here that I think is important enough to the central plot or characters that it’s worth commenting on (especially given how massively long this post is already), so I’m just going to call it good and move right along. ;)

Pfft I definitely wasn’t expecting the bulgasari to be literally chilling in Yeon’s freezer (not that he had a choice). This is somewhat interesting given they’re typically thought to be weak to fire, not ice. 

Subs: “I’ll die even if I tell you where he is.” More literally: “Whether I die in this way [by Yeon’s hand], or that [by Rang’s], it is all the same.” 

Brother Complex

Sub: “Don’t even think of hurting her.” More literally: “Just try touching one hair on her head.”

Oh my gosh Rang’s face ㅠㅠ This was the first time I felt Kim Beom really got to display his acting chops in this role, and boy, was I glad to see it. This was also when I knew Rang was going to make me cry. 

Yeon: “You’re acting like this because you lack affection.” The expression Yeon uses is ‘aejeong gyeolpip,’ which literally does mean ‘affection lack/want/absence,’  but I would have translated it as ‘affection-starved,’ since saying Rang ‘lacks affection’ could also be interpreted to mean Rang is incapable of expressing affection. 

Yeon: “Why’s that?” Lol Lee Dong Wook. Also, this one line is cheekily in polite speech.

Subs: “Just because of a woman you gave up your position as a mountain spirit, left the mountain, and you even...” More literally: “Just because of one mere human woman you gave up your position as a mountain god, turned your back on the mountain, and..!!” 

Yeon: “Yes, I know. I even abandoned you.” Rang-ah~ ㅠㅠ I recently received an ask as to whether or not I believed Yeon had truly abandoned Rang, which I answered here.

Oof, Yeon giving Rang advice as an older brother. In Korea, nagging is seen as a sign of affection. You may recall Ji Ah was very excited for her dad to nag her about her boyfriend in episode 12. 

Sub: “You crazy fool.” Rang literally calls his brother a ‘michin nom,’ ‘michin’ meaning ‘crazy.’ ‘Nom’ is a pronoun that, depending on how it’s used, can mean anything from ‘guy,’ to ‘jerk,’ to ‘bastard.’ 

Sub: “I don’t need to know.” Actually: “There’s no need [for you to tell me].” The two are subtly different. Yeon’s saying he’ll find out on his own, not that he doesn’t want to know.

Fun fact: Kim Beom said in his script reading interview (before they started filming) that he was a bit worried about his onscreen dynamic with Lee Dong Wook because, while Rang has to hate Yeon, LDW is a hyung that KB likes so much in real life. What a cutie. 

We cut briefly over to Ji Ah on the phone with Jae Hwan, asking him to look after Sae Rom while she chases down the skull lead. 

As an aside here, Ji Ah calls Sae Rom, ‘Kim-jak’ (short for ‘jakga,’ meaning ‘writer’). In Korea, it’s common to refer to someone by their role or title. This might indicate distance, but Ji Ah’s shortening it makes the term familiar and speaks of their camaraderie.  In the subtitles, this has become, ‘Ms. Kim,’ which is oddly distant given their frenemyship. 

The Island

Is it just me, or does it feel like there should have been a scene here explaining how and why Yeon came to be on the boat? I’m assuming it got deleted due to time constraints, but I feel like it was needed. 

Pfft The way Ji Ah pops up from behind Yeon, cutting comically into the dramatic shot of Lee Dong Wook’s windswept profile + BGM was great.

In case it wasn’t already apparent, Kimite patches are used to alleviate sea sickness, so this is further undermining the mood of a second ago haha

Yeon’s line is subbed: “I’d like to keep it to myself,” but this should more literally be: ‘Let’s each work individually/play it solo.’ 

Sub: “No, thank you.”  What Yeon actually says: “Hard pass.” hahaha (Literally: ‘I’ll immediately/urgently decline,’ but tonally, ‘hard pass’ is closer). 

The subs have Yeon’s line as: “You need to be careful what you pay attention to.” I would have translated this as: “If that’s the reason [you’ve come], go back. You mustn’t recklessly lend an ear [to such things].” His tone and phrasing are both surprisingly gentle. 

Subs: “My guts keep telling me, that this is a very suspicious combination.” Well, my guts keep telling me, that this is a very suspicious sub haha I would have translated Yeon’s voiceover as:

Yeon: The same boat...the same island...a woman with the same face as that girl. My instincts speak to me relentlessly, telling me there’s something amiss about this combination.

Pfft The contrast between Ji Ah's dismount from the boat and Yeon’s. 

Lol Yeon’s ‘excuse me’ was totally rude 

For the record, from the moment Yeon sets foot on the island, he speaks to everyone in banmal. That’s bad form towards any stranger, but it’s especially rude considering their age. Sure, Yeon’s way older, but they don’t know that. 

Ji Ah mouthing “What?” in English haha

Yeon clocking the effectively creepy villagers. Turns out the right BGM and camerawork can make anything creepy. Point to the director.

Settling in on the Island

Ji Ah’s line subbed as, “I thought you didn’t want to be involved,” should more properly be: “I thought you just said we should each play it solo?”

Yeon’s line is similarly mis-subbed as: “I changed my mind. Don’t let it bother you.” What he actually says is much ruder: “I’ll do what I want! Butt out.” Which explains Ji Ah’s affront heh

Lol Yeon walking right in front of the camera. Anyone who has ever had a pet recognized this moment.

I love how Yeon is being completely tactless and insensitive but then grudgingly course-corrects when Ji Ah glares daggers at him. 

Fisherman (subs): “It gives me a bad feeling in my mouth.” Excuse me, what? haha The line is: “The more I think about it, the more it bothers me.”

Lol Ji Ah: “In the documentaries I watched, they say digging holes is your speciality” (complete with digging gesture).  

Fun fact: Ji Ah blocking the way with her leg and Yeon burrowing under it was something Jo Bo Ah and Lee Dong Wook came up with themselves. Ji Ah’s line was scripted, but I’m nearly positive Yeon’s comeback of, “Burrowing is my speciality,” was an ad lib by Lee Dong Wook. Once again, casting Lee Dong Wook is the gift that keeps on giving. 

WAIT. Subs: “You can’t go.” / “Borrowing is my specialty.” Hahaha What even? Cheon’ho Lee Yeon: professional mooch. 

The way we then cut to Yeon ‘burrowing’ into a freezer of ice cream is just perfect. Point to the director. 

Once again, Yeon is talking to all the village elders in banmal.

“You have a terrible service mentality.” pfft

OH. Ji Ah’s response to the misogynistic fisherman is just A++ 

Her line here is literally: “Oops, I’m afraid I’m overflowing with ‘jeong.’”  ‘Jeong’ (情) can be a little hard to translate. It literally means ‘emotion’ or ‘affection,’ but the way it’s used linguistically can be a bit complex. The sub here was: “I’m afraid I was too generous,” which I actually think is pretty decent. The turn of phrase in Korean though, using the word ‘overflowing’ while over-pouring on the man, made her response doubly witty.

Hah. I love the way Yeon just raises his eyebrows when he comes out of the market and spots her.

Subs: “How dare a witch from outside come here and...” He actually calls her a ‘michin nyeon’ meaning ‘crazy bitch,’ so the line is: “Crazy bitch, where do you think this is that you dare...”

Ji Ah’s line that begins, “If you’re going to hit me...” is just SO great. We stan (1) queen. 

Subs: “Nice. You’re tough.” This is a bit hard to translate. Yeon’s line is literally: “Oh~ What ggang is like this?” ‘Ggang’ can be translated as ‘guts,’ ‘tenacity,’ or ‘persistence.’ Naver dictionary describes it as: ‘a personal trait found in one who never gives in, when put in whatever difficulties,’ which is so spot on for Ji Ah. I might approximate this as: “Woah~ Just how gutsy are you?” 

The way he's just like, ‘I approve. Here, have a shikhye~’ is mildly adorable. Did you buy that for her, Yeon, or were you planning on having two but decided she’d earned one? haha

Ji Ah’s response is equally great. The sub says: “That was nothing.” which isn’t a bad option for a subtitle, but what she literally says is ‘saesam-seureopge’ (새삼스럽게), where ‘saesam’ means ‘now? at this point? after all this time?’ So she’s basically saying, ‘You’re bothering with that observation, over that little stunt, after everything else you’ve seen me do?’ haha

“I plan to mooch off of you as much as possible.” Pfft I love how Yeon actually moves to stand behind her just to underscore the point. That’ll be Lee Dong Wook again. 

Wow, these are some sketchy old people.

Subs: “People aren’t the only ones with eyes and mouths.” What he actually says is, “Are people the only ones with eyes and ears?”

The Forest Spirit

Wow, the lighting in this scene is just A++ Point to the lighting team (or is that just natural? It feels almost too pretty to have just been natural). 

I was too distracted by Lee Dong Wook to notice the first time, but Ji Ah’s face when Yeon shushes her is great haha

On a linguistic note, this scene is one of the few in which Yeon code switches to archaic speech as he’s addressing the tree spirit. It’s the linguistic equivalent of him putting on his ‘mountain god’ hat. (He still speaks to Ji Ah normally, though). 

We cut briefly to the mudang (shamaness), and I’m sorry, I know this is a traditional way of speaking, but it always makes me laugh because it’s so over-the-top.

The spirit addresses Ji Ah as ‘agasshi,’ which would be strange if she was actually a modern young girl, but makes sense for a spirit who’s at least 600. Overall, it helps to remind viewers of her supernatural-ness. 

Yeon telling Ji Ah she did a good job is so cute. I feel like they’re rapidly becoming a quirky tag-team duo and I’m 100% here for it. 

Mudang: “His body returned to shore before his head did! Your father!” This line was explained in the backstory collection.

Okay, the mudang needs to dial it back like 10 levels here. 

Possibly just me, but Yeon swatting the air with his hand as he peers into the cave struck me as vaguely fox-like. 

Minor detail again, but the chyron here is subbed as ‘Jangsansa Cave.’ It’s actually ‘Jangsan sagool,’ not ‘Jangsansa gool.’ ‘Sagool’ is written with the characters 蛇窟 meaning ‘snake hole.’

Lol Yeon freezing mid-motion when Ji Ah tells him to stay put. That is 110% Lee Dong Wook’s sense of humour. Praise the drama gods for Lee Dong Wook - this show wouldn’t have been half as fun without him.

Fun fact: This cave is actually intimately tied to Ah Eum’s past with Imoogi and the story of how she came to be his ‘bride’ (read: sacrifice). I translated the tvN description here. I actually think this was fairly important information, so it’s a shame it wasn’t covered in the drama. 

Sleepover with a Gumiho 

When Ji Ah asks Yeon why he’s insisting on staying at Pyung Hee’s, his response is subbed as: “I have my reasons.” This is more properly: “You don’t need to know.”

Sub: “We don’t eat that crap!” Yeon’s line doesn’t have a subject, but this should properly be: “I don’t eat that crap!” We know from Yeou Nui that some gumiho in this world actually do eat liver. 

“Heard of the Chinese liver fluke?” Ha. Yeon literally says ‘kan distoma,’ i.e. ‘liver distomiasis’ or ‘liver fluke’. While there was a well-known outbreak in China, it isn’t inherently Chinese. There’s a Korean word for it too (간흡충), but once again, Yeon opts for the loan word, adding further humour to the gumiho disavowing liver consumption - for health reasons, no less pffft

The BGM playing as Yeon sees Ah Eum in Ji Ah is once again ‘Parting at the River of Three Crossings.’

Bok Hye Ja’s line to Shin Joo is subbed as: “He went to the island to find this reincarnated girl?” The word she uses is actually ‘gakshi,’ which is an antiquated word generally meaning ‘bride’ (as in ‘the Snail Bride’), but it can also just mean ‘young woman.’

For the record, the Snail Bride speaks to Shin Joo in banmal, who speaks to her in jondaetmal

Shin Joo: “Contrary to how he looks, he’s the devoted type, after all.” Et tu, Shin Joo? 

Shin Joo’s line is subbed: “As if that’s a good thing,” but I would have translated it as: “Romantic, my foot!”

Sub: “At least once in our lives we come across that one person we want to give our lives to.” This should be: ‘risk our lives for.’ 

Sub: “I won’t ever devote myself to love. My goal will be to protect Mr. Lee.” Actually: “I won’t ever risk my life for love. I’m going to protect Lee Yeon-nim!”

“Well that can also be called love, can’t it?” Thank you for this, Show. I know some people think TotNT champions romantic love above all else, but I simply don’t agree. 

When Yeon checks Ji Ah again for his fox bead, the BGM playing is once again ‘Thread Rings’

I love how they did the CG on whatever is happening with Yeon’s powers here. I would have loved to have gotten more of an explanation of the fox bead and its powers (and Yeon’s, for that matter), but alas. 

I love that Yeon tucks Ji Ah in even after re-confirming (or so he thinks) that she isn’t Ah Eum. It was important to me that he came to like and appreciate her for herself before learning that she was, in fact, his lost love. 

Morning on the Island

Ji Ah wakes to find Yeon gone, the blanket tucked around her, and her expression tells us she’s onto him: sure, Yeon can be a grump, but he’s also a complete softie. heh

Yeon is, once again, talking to the elders in banmal. Why do I keep mentioning it? Because no matter how many times I see it it’s still funny.

Okay, Lee Dong Wook has this way of pointing at things with his entire arm that I find ticklish. Yeon ends up coming across like a petulant child. On a cultural note, in Korea, pointing at people like this is considered impolite.

Yeon dangling the ginseng behind Ji Ah as extra incentive pfft Wild ginseng can be massively expensive in Korea (on the order of hundreds of dollars), so this is actually a very effective bribe. 

Also, can we take a moment to appreciate that Yeon woke up before dawn, and, instead of going back to sleep, went into the mountains to hunt for wild ginseng, then set about using it to bribe the elders into answering Ji Ah’s questions for her. Entirely of his own accord. Like I said: softie. 

Side note: Lee Dong Wook’s eyebrows are working overtime in this scene and I’m honestly a little jealous. 

The newspaper Jae Hwan finds at the library is dated August 13, 1954, which Ji Ah immediately recognizes as having been just after the Korean War (if you’ll recall, this is when the forest spirit told them something ominous had come to the island). 

This newspaper is actually really cool. You can see how, in the past, Korean newspapers used a lot of hanja in addition to the phonetic hangeul, similar to modern Japanese. The headline reads, “Headless Corpse, Discovered on Eohwa Island, Investigation Hits Dead End.” (頭 없는 屍身, 漁花島에서 發見, 捜査 迷宮으로). 

Okay, to be honest, this final scene - absent the extra context given in the next episode - made me question Ji Ah’s smarts again. I wondered why she was chasing down the clearly unstable guy just to question him, but it makes sense once you know she meant to warn him his life was in danger. 

As usual, Yeon knows how to make an entrance. Cue ‘Gumiho’ theme. 

Yeon stopping when Ji Ah tells him to never stops being satisfying. 

The BGM playing as we cut over to Rang is ‘The House of Ghosts.’ 

Okay, those shots of Thirsty and Hungry were full-on horror movie and I actually kind of like it? I never watch horror as a genre, but for some reason, I found I missed this spooky element when it dropped out of the later episodes. 

Oh, I like that Yeon went and made her a poultice. Very ex-mountain god of you, sir. 

“Long time no see, Lee Yeon.” Iconic. And creepy. I love the attention to detail Jo Bo Ah displays in the difference between how she acts Ji Ah vs. Imoogi. Imoogi’s voice is higher pitched, and gives off more of a loose-cannon feel compared to Ji Ah, who speaks in a lower, more grounded tone. 

Sub: “It’s me. The person you’ve been waiting for.” Imoogi literally says: “It’s me. That thing you’ve been waiting for.” This is obviously a big clue since normally one wouldn’t refer to oneself in such a way. It also reflects the fact that, unlike Terry-Imoogi, Jimoogi perceives no value in Ji Ah herself. (Yes, I call Ji Ah-Imoogi ‘Jimoogi,’ and sadly, no, I didn’t come up with it). 

Yikes, Jimoogi tracing Yeon’s face was all menace and zero cute. Point to Jo Bo Ah.

Boy, this show really knows how to make an exit.

Blue Mooooooooon!! The guitar (bass?) riff is just so catchy. 

And that concludes Episode 2. Thank you to everyone who commented on the first one. If not for your encouragement, I probably wouldn’t have continued. I also genuinely enjoy hearing from people, so send me your thoughts! This is a weird, unprecedented mashup of a live reaction post, behind the scenes info, and detailed language and culture notes, and I’m still learning how to balance the three. Your feedback is always welcome. 

I’d also like to take a moment to credit my sister, who, in addition to weighing in on a lot of the translations, is also the chief researcher and fact checker for these. I, meanwhile, am in charge of bad jokes and snark. I mentioned before that these take longer than you might expect, but it’s really true. The time we spend watching the episode is actually the least of it, and as much as I enjoy them, they are a huge time suck. 

So. This is what I’m going to do. If you’d like to see more of these, or if you enjoyed this, or if you’ve enjoyed any of the translations or commentary or whatnot I’ve been posting recently, please consider buying me a coffee. If you follow the link, you can buy me a $2 cup of virtual coffee. I’ve never done this before, but I’ve decided to give it a try. It’ll help me to gauge how much interest there is, and, possibly more importantly, it will help me to justify all the time haha. If and when I’ve established there’s enough interest, I’ll proceed with Episode 3. ;)

[kisilinramblings]

I saw many people tweeted that Chloe is not deserved the threatment she received in the show (i.e being her miraculous taken from her, being bashed, etc), she helps lb selflessly only for lb to take her only way to redeem herself, to show she can be better person and the only reason why she's treated badly is because Thomas hate her, that's why he refused to give her a redemption arc and instead keep calling her a villain. What do you think of it? And what do you think of Chloe as a character?

I’ll come off clean right away. I too believed in Chloé. I too hoped for her to get better and gave her a chance. Was I disappointed by the turn she took? Yes. Just like Ladybug and Chat Noir too were disappointed I’m sure. Was I surprised by this development though? No. 

It all comes down to 3 things that lead Chloé’s development to this result.

Chloé’s traits and motivations. 

What the Bee Miraculous represented to Chloé

Chloé’s trust toward Ladybug

Let’s go back to the beginning of Chloé’s development. Despair Bear. Chloé is forced to make an effort and be nicer otherwise she will lose Adrien’s friendship.

Chloé : How can [Adrien] do this to me, Jean-Michel?

She doesn’t understand why she has this ultimatum. She isn’t reflecting on her actions. She just want Adrien to be her friend again. With the help of her butler though, Chloé works her way through. It’s a bumpy road and she obviously doesn’t like doing this. At. All. She always questions the point of this nice action or that other one, but she forces herself only not to lose Adrien’s friendship which obviously means a lot to her, but she finds this whole experience is annoying.

During the Akuma attack though, she does rescue Ladybug from being Catalysmed by a Chat Noir controlled by Despair Bear, but what does Chloé say immediately after she has realized she had been actually helpful for once?

LB : Thanks, Chloé Chloé : Hey! I was really nice just then! Did you see? No?

She boasts about her actions, wanting people to notice her. The whole audience doing the Anime Fall™ illustrates that boasting about being nice defeat the initial purpose. Doing nice actions should be because it is the right and natural thing to do, not to expect glory and reward afterward, even if Chloé instinctively wanted to protect someone she deeply idolizes.

After helping Ladybug out to defeat Despair Bear, Chloé realizes there are some benefits to being nice, yes, but what does Chloé do after showing she is capable of making an effort and secured back Adrien’s friendship? She sighs of relief, a burden lift out of her shoulders, and reverts back to her usual self.

Now I know people will say “It’s just to maintain the statu quo”. But when you look back at this episode after Miracle Queen or even after Miraculer, you realize Despair Bear had a lesson in it that concerns people like Chloé. That is they can make an effort to be nicer and can sometimes be helpful but if they don’t want to become a better person, to be kinder to others, then they won’t change.

Over S2, we see Chloé under a new light. She isn’t just a spoiled rich bully. She is human too. When she is hurt, she hurts back. Marinette -- and by extension the viewers -- learns to see that side of Chloé and empathizes with her. But while it explains it, her snobbish, mean and entitled attitude still isn’t acceptable. Not when living in society. 

But Chloé does make some some progress through S2. Small. But still, progress. Like during Zombizou, where Chloé admits for the first time her actions has hurt people.

Or the end of Queen Wasp where Chloé finally accepts to give back the Bee Miraculous she had found to Ladybug, admitting she had been irresponsible with how to use that power. 

Or during Malediktator, when Chloé opens up to Ladybug, telling her the truth and how useless she feels.

That was a start. Chloé showed us she was capable of doing that when renouncing or not expecting to have a Miraculous. However, after Queen Bee is officially recognized as one of Ladybug’s allies, something else happened. 

After actually saving Paris during Malediktaor, Chloé got a party celebrating Queen Bee, celebrating her.

Marinette was trying to do some positive reinforcement to encourage Chloé.

Marinette : Well, she did save Paris, so... maybe  she just may be able to save herself too, am I right? [...] If she feels like she can be useful, I’m sure she’ll change her attitude.

“[Chloé] just may be able to save herself”

It isn’t Ladybug’s responsibility to change Chloé so she could become a better person, but Chloé’s. Ladybug can help her a bit, by showing support and guiding her, but it is ultimately Chloé who has to work on herself in order to save herself AKA to begin redeeming herself if she wants to. Like how Chloé desired to save her dad and fix her mistake. However, Chloé’s secret identity being publicly known has jeopardized that process. 

Look at the ending of Malediktator. Chloé has a party but instead of taking pics with her and the crowd, or with people she cherishes or is thankful about, what do we get? 

A selfie of her with her with no one else around her posted on her social media, showing us her self-centred image. 

This behaviour repeats itself during Heroes Day as well. Everyone has prepared a nice action for the day and what was Chloé’s? Accepting to sign autographs since now she is a superhero. 

And at the end of the finale, yes, she is included in the group picnic, but how is she staged on the set?

She sits on a lounge chair, not directly touching the ground where everybody else is sitting. She refuses to eat home-made meals, preferring fancy sushis. And finally, she has her butler break apart her chopsticks for her, without even politely asking him by looking him in the eyes.

What does this scene tells the audience compare to the scene where Chloé is dismantling her Bee “Lair” without any help at the end of Malediktator, telling her butler she’ll do it because she has to do this herself. (Translation : I have to fix that error of mine myself”).

As S2 concluded, since Queen Bee is now officially one’s of Ladybug superhero teammates and that everyone knows QB is Chloé, she feels above everyone else, refusing to sit at the same level as them. She still doesn’t care about others’ feelings. She expects people to serve her. Even her “benevolent” action of signing autographs for Heroes Day revolved more around herself than acutally helping others. 

This is where Chloé’s character stands. This is what she values. Herself. Her needs. She feels morally superior. She has ascended to greater heights. She acts entitled because Ladybug has trusted her with a Miraculous once or twice. And it is this attitude Chloé never tries to fix and that has lead her to her descent. 

The people who are mad about Chloé’s development throughout S3 often misinterpret the real reason why Chloé constantly wanted to be Queen Bee to begin with. What the Bee Miraculous truly represented to her. 

Chloé didn’t want to be a superhero because she wanted to help people nor was it because she felt bad about how awful she had been to everyone in general and wanted to make amends. Chloé didn’t need a Miraculous for that. She could have accomplished that progress simply as a civilian if she had wanted to. 

It wasn’t because Chloé still had something to prove to her mother either. That was settled at the end of Queen Wasp. Her mother had acknowledged her and was staying in Paris, with her. Audrey finally gave the recognition Chloé longed for. (Though I admit “you are exceptionally mean like your mother” is a shitty reason, but hey! At least Chloé got her mother’s attention and love now, so little yeah...?) And in Malediktator, we see Audrey taking Chloé’s side, agreeing they should leave for New York together.

As for wanting to be loved by others, Chloé has already the affection and attention from other people such as her butler, Sabrina, Ms Bustier, and even her father who overly spoils her, satisfying every of Chloé’s desires. They were there for her even before she got her hand on a Miraculous. And it wasn’t because Chloé wanted the power to protect the people she cared about either nor was it her symbol for a second chance.

No, Chloé only cared about herself and the reason why she wanted to be Queen Bee everytime she could is because, to her, having a Miraculous means you are part of the elites. 

Miraculous Holders are chosen ones. Litterally! There are only a few select of them. They get to be famous, glorified, celebrated (Heroes Day). They get movies made about them (Animaestro). They get to be on the news, interviewed. To have their image show everywhere. To have fans. To be adulated, respected, listened to. They are exceptional. Superior. 

And this isn’t new with Chloé. Ever since S1, fame and status has always been a motivator for her to do things. To be exceptional. Not just to be seen by her mother (though it started it like that), but for everyone to see it. 

In fact, when there is an Akuma attack, is Chloé helping others around her or is she abandoning everyone and heading straight to light her bee signal while buzzing with excitement? Does she stay steady just in case Ladybug needs her or is she expecting Ladybug to ask for QB’s help every time? Is Chloé resilient about QB not being needed all the time or frustrated to sit on the bench? What does Chloé do to fix this? Does she give herself a purpose as a civilian or does she cling even more to Ladybug to bring her the Bee Miraculous?

Basically when Chloé is offering her help, in reality, she just want to be a superhero for the glory of it rather than actually caring for or helping people around her. 

When Chloé asks for “her” Miraculous and constantly clinging for Ladybug to give it to her, it means she only sees value when she is Queen Bee. And when Queen Bee wants to be reliable to Ladybug or fears to disappoint her idol, ultimately, Chloé wants to not screw her chances to be Queen Bee again. 

Thus, yes, Queen Bee does her part when battling Akumas, but does Chloé actually grow as a person after Malediktator events? Did Chloé work on herself? Does she continue reflecting on her actions? Does Chloé even sometimes try to help her classmates with their normal problems or is she resting on her laurels? How does she treat others in general? Did Chloé truly become kinder or humbler or did she instead got the big head and still is rude to them? Does she views herself as a normal person or as a superior being? If you are unsure about any of the answers, just rewatch Startrain.

Chloé just stops improving because she took her Miraculous for granted. She is an hero recognized by Paris and therefore deserve the hero treatment and doesn’t need to continue to work on herself. 

Sure, Chloé isn’t provoking as much akumatization as in S1 and S2, but she didn’t become better either by receiving a Miraculous. In fact, she is even more condescending. She is Queen Bee, she is a superhero thus she is better than you, peasants!

Chloé : In this world, there are those who work and those who shine. Forever there would be this division between us, Dupain-Cheng.

And this mentality contributed to Chloé’s sense of entitlement to the Bee Miraculous, calling it hers and expecting to have it back as if it was her rightful right. Except Miraculouses belong to no one as illustrated by the Turtle Miraculous who gets shared between Master Fu and Nino. And initially, LB wanted to hand over the Bee Miraculous to Alya because LB needed help and Alya had already been trusted with another Miraculous before. 

Anyway, during Heroes Day, it was part of Scarlet Moth’s plan to use the Bourgeois against Queen Bee. To destabilize her and it worked. And if he could do it once, he could attempt something again.

And this is what motivated Ladybug to be careful and ideally not give back a Miraculous to anyone who’s secret identity is known by Hawkmoth. And for the record, yes, Chloé is the first one truly affected by that rule, but she isn’t the only one through S3.

This decision is made by LB with CN’s approval because they wanted to protect Chloé and her loved ones from HM. And unbestknown to them, their doubts were found as Chloé was being watched over by HM and Mayura.

So it wasn’t because Queen Bee was doing a poor job, nor because Chloé's attitude was getting worse. This was done to protect her. Except they couldn’t protect Chloé from herself. 

Yes, Ladybug did a mistake which is to not inform Chloé of this decision earlier. As a result, in Miraculer, Chloé felt ignored. Rena Rouge and Carapace were often called to help while Chloé was standing there waiting next to her bee signal. 

But even if LB had told Chloé sooner, chances are the result would have been mostly the same. Because Chloé has an inaptitude to let go of things she desires.

After learning the truth, Chloé was clearly not satisfied by this decision. And while Chloé cooperates and hands back the Bee Miraculous, she is in denial.

Chloé : I understand, but I’m sure you will need me again, Ladybug. I know that I will be Queen Bee again someday. I’ll always be Queen Bee.

What allowed Chloé to not be akumatized during Miraculer was precisely because she still had faith in Ladybug then, despite being mad at her. She is still convinced LB would come ask for Queen Bee’s help again. But after that revelation, once Ladybug has left, Chloé tears apart the picture she had hold on to the entire episode. 

By S3 finale, we see Chloé never accepted the reality of ever be Queen Bee again. And since the finale theme revolved about loss, well, it was time for her to be confronted to it.

We all agree that Hawkmoth exploited the situation during Heart Hunter. He planned the Akumatization of André and Audrey Bourgeois. Nathalie was on place to sabotage of the Bee Signal. And finally, they planned to find the Guardian to get the Miracle Box and offer the Bee Miraculous to have Chloé on their side. 

Everything was there to manipulate Chloé, play with her emotions in order to turn her against Ladybug. But keep in mind that during that scene where HM is meeting Chloé, everything he says rings true to Chloé because this is what she internally feels. What he did was only amplifying the feelings Chloé already has since Miraculer and even a bit before that.

Chloé felt ignored, rejected, not allowed to be a superhero, to be a Queen. When Chloé answers Ladybug has done nothing for her, we know it’s not true. Ladybug gave her a second chance. We also know Ladybug is avoiding to give Chloé a Miraculous because she is trying to protect her and her loved ones from HM. Chloé knows that since the end of Miraculers events, however when her loved ones are indeed in danger during Heart Hunter, Chloé expected this would be THE occasion to be Queen Bee again and prove Ladybug wrong by helping Ladybug save her parents. 

Now, Ladybug has been distracted and didn’t think of things clearly and yes, there is a chance that on other circumstances she might have picked the Bee Miraculous to give it to Chloé, but there is also the fact Chloé kept repeating the same mistake. 

We have seen through S3 Chloé is constantly building her expectations up, only to set herself for disappointement. And instead of realizing that about herself, especially after Miraculer, she continues doing that and gets angry and put the blame on others. The only one making Chloé wait is Chloé herself. All the other temporary Holders have other things to occupy themselves and they do what they can as civilians, not expecting LB to come and give them a Miraculous. 

But Chloé’s entitlement to the Bee Miraculous clouds her judgment there and now, HM is there is offering Chloé something Ladybug has denied to give her again.

So, Chloé prefered being Queen Bee over doing the right thing. She had the chance to double cross HM, but she didn’t because of how hurt and furious she was at Ladybug. And even after being deakumatized, that angers and feeling of betrayal persist.

And this is where Chloé’s action matters the most here. Chloé not only tries to be reakumatized by choice again, she blantantly explains she isn’t on Ladybug’s side anymore, doesn’t care if HM who terrorizes Paris is the ennemy, that she will keep the Miracle Box for herself. Chloé also rudly orders the Kwamis around without knowing how it works. She even tries to run away with the new Miracle Box and finally, when everything is falling appart and doesn’t go her own way, Chloé throws at tantrum at Ladybug, insulting her and the other temporary Holders and affirm she will leave with the Bee Miraculous to New York.

Even HM who laughs at this at first, commenting he doesn’t need to do anything, that Chloé is one of the bad guys, eventually is disappointed before leaving her behind.

Ladybug? She tries to reason with Chloé, giving her another chance to fix her mistake like at the end of Queen Wasp. When Chloé is putting all the remaining Miraculous of the Box on her, LB asks to stop because she knows how dangerous it is to combine their powers and still doesn’t want Chloé to get hurt. It’s only after Chloé tries to run off with the new Miracle Box that Ladybug stops her. And when Chloé is done talking, LB has no choice to stop this and take back herself the Bee Miraculous from her, even apologizing for doing this.

Ladybug has been very patient. She knows Chloé. She knows she is hurt and is hurting other because that’s how she copes, but Ladybug cannot let Chloé keep that Miraculous. Heck, she even feel sorry for Chloé when she finally leaves. 

Is that truly the face someone who is satisfied with this result? This wasn’t what Ladybug had hoped for Chloé either.

If, through S3, it was no one’s fault for the Bee Miraculous to not be given to Chloé, her being destituted of the Bee Miraculous at the end of S3 was the consequences of Chloé’s own actions and her refusal to change. And all of this could have been prevented if Chloé didn’t become entitled to the Bee Miraculous, if Chloé had found another purpose AS A CIVILIAN rather than to depend on the prestige of her Queen Bee persona

This isn’t the end though. It only means Chloé has more work to do about herself. And that giving Chloé a Miraculous isn’t the solution to improve her. 

[huihuiheart]

Hongjoong’s Angels - Hongjoong w/ f! Yeosang + f! San

-req by @pirate-hongjoong

Pairing: Platonic Hongjoong (Speaking in italics) + f! Yeosang + f! San + Female Reader (ft. the rest of Ateez)

Summary: The angels are about as elite as they come, but all of them are at risk now. For a mission that they would have assigned a dozen angels to, it comes down to just three. Would that be enough to prevent their whole world from falling apart though?

Warnings: Spies, violent themes, espionage, guns, suggestive themes, seduction, kidnapping, breaking and entering, fight scenes, tasers, explosions, lies, missiles, betrayal, some member x member themes (the couple is a secret to prevent spoilers), death.

Word Count: 8,086

Note: I still have not watched the most recent movie and this is an original piece, so please don’t give me backlash for it. I was very excited to do this though, because the original Charlie’s Angels movies were my childhood, so this seemed very fun. 

“Once upon a time there were three very different little girls....”

“I’m sorry the only spot we have open is for a mascot.” The head cheerleader mocked, but Yeosang simply smiled, her braces on full display.

“Oh my god, that’s great though! It’ll be so much fun! And I still get to dance!” Yeosang practically bounded out of the hall, tripping over her own feet at the entrance and falling flat on the ground.

---

“Ladies and Gentleman, that does it. Your winning rider is Choi San on her prized horse Blue Ballad. The youngest yet to win this competition.” The announcer called over the sound system. Choi San standing proudly on the podium for photos with her horse standing behind her, taking in the applause.

---

“Y/L/N Y/N! You get in here right now young lady!” The principle called from her office, you smirking as you walked in and plopped down opposite her, “ Would you explain to me why we have you on camera spray painting the school wall?”

You snickered as she showed you the film they had, “Oh look that’s my favorite part.” You muse as you watch the clip of you giving the camera the bird before spray painting over it.

---

“Who grew up to be three very different women...”

Yeosang held the little hairless kitten in her arms, giggling at it as people gave her strange looks in passing.

“Maybe you should put that one down Yeosang, no one’s gonna adopt...it....”

“Awe, but there’s nothing wrong with her. Besides she’s so cute...and she doesn’t do that...”Yeosang counters gesturing to one of the hairballs from the other cats in the shop.

---

“Prep OR3 and tell them I’m on my way. We have to move people, this is life or death! Now scrub me in!” San huffs, washing her hands, as one of the assistants puts the gloves and scrubs on for her. San opening the door to the operating room with her back to not contaminate anything.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

---

“Hi, welcome to Good Burger. What can I get for you today?” Y/N droned over the drive-thru headset in the same monotone voice you did everyday, with a huff. 

The car pulling up moments later, a rambunctious group of young men in the car, “Hey sweetheart, why don’t you give us a show with that meal?”

You gave them a deadpan look, before holding up the paper bag with their order in it and shaking it, throwing it into the window of their car before closing your drive-thru window with a fake smile and walking away.

“What they have in common is that they’re brilliant, they’re beautiful, and they work for me. My name is Hongjoong.”

“Good morning, angels.”

“Good morning Hongjoong!” You three replied in unison, sitting on the couch across from the little speaker. The device is your only connection to the mystery man that was your boss.

“So Hongjoong, what do you have for us today?” San questions, hugging your arm slightly as she sits to your right, eager to get a new assignment.

“Well, angels, we’ve recently been hired by Jeong Yunho, CEO of Jeong Technologies. They’re currently the largest private technology and information firm around. Their lead engineer Song Mingi was kidnapped, there’s footage of three assailants taking him from the front of Jeong Technologies science building the other night and there has been no sign of him since.”

 “There any leads so far? Anyone who wants to see Jeong Technologies fall?” You ask, looking over the tape on the screen one last time, watching the poor engineer get shoved into the van by some masked men.

“Bosley hasn’t given you the files yet, has he?” Hongjoong chuckles over the speaker, “Where has my good friend gone off to now?”

“Bosley? I thought you told me your name was Wooyoung?” Yunho’s brows furrow as he walks in with the man in question.

“It is my name is Wooyoung. I’m simply in the Bosley family....it’s a term of endearment at this point.” Wooyoung shrugs, gesturing for Yunho to sit on the couch opposite of you, “I was just greeting our guest Hongjoong, no need to rush anyone.”

“Well, angels, it looks like you’re in capable hands. If you need anything, Wooyoung will provide you with it. I’ll be in touch.” With that, the speaker was off, and Wooyoung was handing you each of your respective files on the case. Almost identical, but each with slightly unique details based on your unique skill sets.

“So, you’re Jeong Yunho then?” Yeosang looks at him while offering her hand, each of you following suit and flustering the young, shy CEO who shakes your hands.

“I-I am. I-I just want to say that whatever you girls need to get him back, I’m happy to help. Mingi is more than an employee, he’s also a friend.” Yunho is flustered at first, but slowly it changes to concern for his missing friend.

“If you don’t mind me asking then, is that why he is so special? I mean, a kidnapping is usually handled by the police, so what about this makes it a better fit for us?” San inquires, barely looking up from the file finding bits of information that might prove useful.

 “Not exactly. You see, we’re a private firm, but we recently landed a government project, and that’s what Mingi was working on. The intelligence involved in this project cannot get out, but Mingi’s the only one who currently knows how to access it or lock it down. Which is why we need to get him back before they can get it out of him.” Yunho explains, catching the attention of all the angels.

“What kind of information are we talking about here?” You finally dare to ask, not sure you’d like any answer that he would give you. 

“Potentially limitless information. The program is designed to screen through all sources public and private without interfering with people’s privacy. What I mean is no person is scouring through people’s information. It uses facial recognition and voice recognition software to track people internationally based on the specs you give it. That person’s trail. With hopes of finding the most wanted criminals who have fallen off the face of the earth. When it pings with that, all the computer saves is the clip with their voice or face. Then it shares that with those who need to find that person. Without sharing private information about the person whose device it was with said investigators. Like an anonymous tip phone call of sorts, but it also provides a location. However, in theory, those safeties can be removed and you could potentially access any information on anyone from anywhere in the world.” Yunho worries his lip between his teeth as he explains the purpose of their latest program.

“And Mingi is the only one who knows the system well enough to do anything with it? To allow or prevent that from happening?” Yeosang sucks in a breath at the sorrowful nod that Yunho answers her with.

“Who would have the most to gain from kidnapping Mingi? People who knew of this program? Of its potential? Or, just have something to gain by taking him?” You look for the page you know you saw when skimming the file, the one that listed off Yunho and Mingi’s enemies.

“Honestly, we kept a tight lid on the information flow only those working on the project and myself knew. Everyone was very adamant about not discussing it outside of the work area for safety reasons, so unless someone got that information elsewhere, I don’t know. However, there is one person I have in mind...Park Seonghwa. My leading competitor, he’s been known to send spies into our staff to steal ideas and information. I wouldn’t put it past him to kidnap our lead engineer in hopes of getting ideas to put out before us.” Yunho shakes his head, “That man never gives up, I’m telling you.”

The angels nod in unison, turning to Wooyoung and handing back the files.

“Yunho we’re going to need access to your building. We’re gonna see if they left anything behind where they took Wooyoung.” San explains, to which Yunho immediately agrees.

“Also, we’ll need to check your systems to see if anyone did get in and access confidential information,” Yeosang added before the two looked at you.

“Then we’ll check Park Industries too, just in case. Though before that, we should probably make sure your home is secure, for all we know they could be after you too.” You try not to worry Yunho too much while still telling him the reality of the situation.

“Alright, angels, let’s move.” Yeosang jumps up, catching the keys that Wooyoung tosses to her so that the four of you can head out to Jeong Technologies to start unraveling this mystery.

“Find anything in here?” Yeosang asks, joining you and San from checking out the scene where Mingi was finally grabbed.

“Good luck, angels! I’ll be checking in!” Wooyoung calls after you before sighing as he sits down again, left all alone now.

“I’m not seeing any immediate signs of someone snooping around, but not that we’re in. I'll have the computer at the base run a more thorough analysis and let us know,” San responds, looking to you and Yunho.

“I haven’t found any bugs or signs of forced entry if there was something here, it would have to be moving in and out on an employee. I say we check them out, just to be safe.” Your suggestion is met with nods from the other two, “What about out front?”

“Ah, I found a few things...our van had some specialty tires on it based on the treads it left behind. We could look for suppliers and cross-reference based on that to find who’s van it is. Also, there was some debris left I’m assuming when the kidnappers jumped out of the van. We’ll see if these little plants can tell us anything about where they were before being here.” Yeosang proudly beams, holding up her prize.

“Okay, why don’t you two get those back to the base and Wooyoung. I’ll go check out Yunho’s house and make sure it’s safe for him there.” You insist, causing the two to roll their eyes slightly at you.

“Please, you just want to go with him because you think he’s hot,” Yeosang mumbles, making San chuckle while you fluster and throw a glare at her.

“Not my fault, the yummy CEO hired us! Now get out of here.” You hiss quietly at the two before shooing them as they laugh. Before turning to Yunho, who was flustered and blushing after watching that exchange.

“C-Come on, I’ll drive us.” He offers leading the way out of the building and to his car so that he can drive you to his home. Of course, solely for professional reasons. Pulling up to a large modern home after not too long, it somewhat secluded in the woods. Yunho welcomes you in and helps you with your jacket, offering you something to drink while you immediately set to work and stumbling across an interesting photo.

“Isn’t this Park Seonghwa with you?” You question holding the photo up to Yunho, who nods in response, only further intriguing you, “I thought you two were rivals?”

“We are now, but things weren’t always that way. In fact, I’d prefer if they still weren’t.” Yunho sighs softly, holding out a glass to you, “We went to school together growing up, even picked the same university to attend. Honestly, he was more like a brother to me than anything. Until he tried to steal my final during our last year...he was found out and kicked out of the school, but money spared him most of the consequences. He blamed me for what happened, though, and now it seems he wants to get me back in any way at all.”

You nod, placing the picture back down, feeling worse for the Yunho now, “So you lost one close friend already, and now the other is missing...that must be tough.” When Yunho nods, you reach out to gently squeeze his arm in reassurance, “Don’t worry, we’ll get Mingi back, and we won’t let anything happen to you. The house is clean, and I’m leaving you this panic button. If anything is wrong, you just press it, and the closest one of us will come right away.”

“So if I pressed it right now, that would mean you would come, right?” Yunho asks, stepping closer as you start to step away, flustering you some.

“Well, yes, but I just checked the whole house Yunho and nothing wrong.” You chuckle despite being shy, thanks to him.

“Yes, there is.” Yunho blurts, a little too quickly, making you raise a brow in question, “W-What if I don’t feel safe being here all alone? I-I think you should stay for a bit...y-you know just in case.”

He was so impossibly close right now, standing right before you. Not even letting you respond, though, before the two of you were kissing. Your coat slipping out of your arms again as you slipped them around his neck, not letting him go again.

Yunho pouts, hearing your phone ring, and you chuckle, answering it.

“Y/N, we need you back here, we’re going to regroup and talk to Hongjoong. How far out are you?” San asks over the phone, and she and Yeosang finish up in the lab, looking over their results again.

“Not too far, I’m just at Yunho’s.” You answer before cursing internally at giving that away, while the CEO besides you blushes.

“Still? Why? Was something wrong?” San’s voice is teasing, but you know she genuinely wanted to know in case there was an issue, and you just hadn’t gotten the chance to ask for their help yet.

“N-No, nothing’s wrong...I-I’m heading over now.” You quickly hang up before she can question you anymore, giving Yunho an apologetic look, “Well, duty calls. If anything happens, though, hit the panic button, alright?” 

Yunho nods, slipping his arm around your waist and pulling you in for another kiss, “ Be careful out there, okay? If you have to leave me, then at least come back in one piece.”

“I will.” You give him one last kiss before slipping out of his grasp to leave, knowing there was still plenty to do before Yunho would be safe and have his friend back. 

San and Yeosang, smirking at you as you walked back into the base, their looks suggestive, now armed with the knowledge that you had spent the night at Yunho’s place. You sighed with a soft blush and brushed them off, taking your seat with them for yet another morning. Wooyoung, laughing, and accepting the incoming call.

“Good morning, angels.”

“Good morning, Hongjoong!”

“Do you girls have an update on the situation?” 

“We looked into the tires, and it leads back to Park Industries. They have an arrangement with one of the shops they like this specific brand on all their trucks and vans. They also have vans matching the make and model of the van that was used in the kidnapping.” San closes her file on the track report, having nailed Park Seonghwa or at least his company to taking Mingi the question now was just where.

“The plant material was interesting, it allowed me to narrow down to a fifty-mile area where they had been before, the only problem was that any way we cross-referenced things, in that area we found no connection to Park Industries at all, whether directly or otherwise.” Yeosang added with a shrug, “Unless they’ve managed to keep that hidden very well from us.”

“The computer didn’t come up with anything either. It looks as though Park Industries never got into Jeong Technologies computer.” Wooyoung continues before looking at you, now that they had pretty much covered all the leads before speaking up for you, “Oh, and Yunho’s house has been cleared.”

“It seems like whoever is hiding those details from us is doing a very good job of it. Get into Park Industries and see if you can find the last few things that you need to find Mingi, we might not have a lot of time left before they get that information.”

“We’re on it, Hongjoong!”

“So what’s the play then, angels?” Wooyoung inquires, leaning across the desk and smiling at you, “And what do you need for it?”

“You know...we could actually use your help on this one, Wooyoung.” You smiled at him, “How would you like to play a young, up and coming CEO? Willing to give Park Industries exclusive access to specialty supplies?”

“I’ll be your assistant, there to help you if anything happens and seduce Seonghwa enough to get the key for San to get in with.” You reassured Wooyoung as you three pull up the building specs.

“I’ll distract the others around, so San will just have to worry about security making their rounds and cameras on the outside. Once inside the room, though, there is a laser grid, moving, very high end. The code to disable them changes every five minutes. so it’s not likely we’ll be able to get that unless Y/N can manage it in Seonghwa’s office somehow.” Yeosang added before looking to San.

“I’ll be in and out with what we need before you even know it.” San nods looking at Wooyoung, “So what do you say Woo, you in?”

“Well...whatever the angels need, the angels get.” Wooyoung shrugs before chuckling softly, “I’m in.”

Sitting in your van outside of Park Industries and doing final preparations, San spotted something watching the building for any last-minute security changes. She couldn’t be sure, though, until she pulled up a still from the kidnapping video.

“Guys, I just realized something we’ve been missing.” San turns to the rest of you, showing the clip where a snake tattoo is visible on the kidnapper’s ankle, “We should have run with this from the start.”

“Well, what good does that do us now? We can’t call this mission off.” Yeosang frowns softly and San tsks, shaking her head.

“We won’t, we just would have gotten here sooner.” San zooms in on the building security guard from the camera hidden in the side of the van, “Considering this is the tattooed man.”

You look at the screen before initiating the facial recognition software and grabbing molar mics for you and Wooyoung, “When you figure it out, let me know. I’m meeting Wooyoung now.” 

You slipped out of the side of the van that faced away from the building, sneaking a few blocks away to where Wooyoung was waiting in the driver’s seat of a black Lamborgini Huracan. Smoothing over your dress one last time, you get into the passenger seat, handing him his mic and earpiece before putting on your own.

“Ready, Mr. Jung?” You smirked softly at Wooyoung, who chuckles in response, starting up the car.

“Honestly, if it means getting to do stuff like this and driving nice cars all the time, I might just have to tag along more.” He drives off to head towards the main entrance of Park Industries, you two needed to be the first to go in. 

“Y/N, we got a match over facial recognition. His name is Choi Jongho, he hasn’t been working for Seonghwa long, but they have a history. We better keep an eye on him though, he has a pretty remarkable rep. Numerous fighting styles mastered, history in dealing with arms. Keep an eye on him, don’t let him catch you off guard.” You hear San over the mic, knowing Wooyoung does too as you notice him tense while driving.

“Relax Wooyoung, just act natural, and nothing will go wrong. Besides, even if it did, you have the three of us there to protect you.” You assured him, leading him to take a breath and relax slightly, as he pulled up. Parking the car and the both of you got out. Showing Jongho your identification in passing, him eyeing you both up for a moment before opening the door to let you through.

“We’re in, work your magic girls.” You whisper, before taking over at the front desk, “Hello, we’re here for the meeting with Mr. Park. His 2 o’clock.”

The lady raised a brow at you, clearly not impressed until Wooyoung spoke up, “Is there a problem here? I’m a busy man, but I made the time to meet with CEO Park out of professional courtesy, I’d appreciate it if you made it happen, doll.”

She flusters, stuttering a bit behind her desk, “O-Of course CEO Jung, my apologies. It won’t happen again.” 

“Good work Wooyoung!” Yeosang cheered over the mic as the lady led the way for you both through the building. That being her cue as she slipped out of the van next. Heading up to the building with a blinding smile as she stopped in front of Jongho.

“Hi, I think I’m supposed to go in here, yes?” Yeosang fumbles through her bag for show, before finding her company id for him, “It’s my first day, so I’m just a little lost.”

Her helpless giggle and clueless innocent nature must have done the trick, Jongho scanning her id and even giving a small smile back before getting the door for her. San drove the van around to the back, preparing to make her entrance. 

“Let me know when we’re good, Yeosang.” She says, grabbing her ‘delivery’ and going in through the service entrance, before slipping into a bathroom to change into professional clothes, hiding her face from cameras the entire time.

“Give me five minutes,” Yeosang responds, stumbling into the room where the various cubicles were by the mainframe, blushing and giggling as people start to stare. Yeosang works her charms, pouting softly and twirling her hair, “I’m new, and I think I managed to get lost. Do any of you think you could help me?” 

Yeosang played further into the act as they scrambled over each other to get to her, and show her the various areas of the building. More than eager to be around a beautiful woman after being cooped up at their desk for hours without end. Giving her verbal cue to San who slipped out after the group had passed and headed in the opposite direction as them, just waiting for the key to be dropped off.

“You make a very appealing deal, Jung Wooyoung. Draw it up and send it to me, I’m more than interested in it.” Seonghwa smiles from his spot across from Wooyoung.

“That won’t be necessary, my assistance already drew it up. I hope it meets your liking?” Wooyoung gestures you forward. You round the desk and lean forward to place and open the drawn up papers on the desk, letting Seonghwa see your form in the process. It is a good distraction as your free hand slipped the key card off his desk, before taking your spot besides Wooyoung again. Slipping the card into his hand as Seonghwa reads and signs the document, Wooyoung signs afterward before collecting up the document, as his phone rings.

“If you’ll excuse me, I forgot I have another appointment. However, my assistant can stay to discuss anything else about the contract with you.” Wooyoung shakes Seonghwa’s hand before answering the fake call and stepping out of the room to hand the card off to San and get out of the building. The exchange, going successfully.

“Just keep him occupied for me Y/N.” San moves towards the room, hiding her face from view as she slips in to look for access. The easy part passed now just came the harder part of slipping through the lasers.

You trailed your fingertips over Seonghwa’s desk as you moved back to the same side as him, “Is there anything I can help you with, anything at all?”

Your hands, moving to massage his shoulders, noticing something sitting proudly on his desk that you hadn’t the first time. The same picture you had seen at Yunho’s house, of the two of them together.

“Oh, angel, as enticing as that sounds coming from such a beauty, I’ll have to pass. After all, I’ve got so much to do you know...with kidnapping people and all.” Seonghwa grabs your wrist-twisting you around and pinning your front to the desk beneath him. The others heard what happened clear as day.

“I’ll get Wooyoung out, you just finish up getting what we came for San and then help Y/N if necessary.” Yeosang is already in the ladies' room, slipping up and into a vent to make her way out without being swarmed again, dropping out and finding Wooyoung, but too late as Jongho pulls him through a door and shoves him into a van, while a man blocks Yeosang. 

“Jongho got Wooyoung.” She announces, flipping a switch in all the angels. None of them were happy that their Wooyoung had been taken.

“San get that stuff back to base, we’ll clean up here.” You say before twisting enough to elbow him in the face. Still, missing something, though, as Seonghwa tased you in the side. The world, going black and leaving the mission up to the other two for the time being.

Slowly you come too, eyes shifting around for any sign of Wooyoung or Mingi as you do. Instead, you hear someone tsking, followed by footsteps, drawing your attention forward and away from the dirtied surroundings. Yunho before you, as he leans down towards your face, pinching your jaw between his thumb and forefinger to make you look at him instead of at Seonghwa behind him. 

“I may have underestimated you, girls...I thought it would be easier to snatch all of you at once. The others got away, though, with something that belongs to us, and you’re going to help us get it back, angel.” Yunho’s glare only hardens further when you smirk at him, feeling the molar mic still in your mouth, even if they took your earpiece, knowing it’d help Yeosang and San even more.

“See that was your problem, you underestimated us. Besides, there are more than just three angels, a lot more.” You shrug, leaning back in your chair, knowing it was only a matter of time before help showed. Not that you couldn’t break out of the chair if you wanted to, but it was more fun letting them think they’d won and spilling everything to you while you learned everything about their security from the inside.

Seonghwa stepped over and joined Yunho, slipping his arms around Yunho’s waist and resting his chin on Yunho’s shoulder, “Oh, we know Y/N. After all, once an angel always an angel, right? And there are quite a few from what we can tell.” 

Seonghwa tilts Yunho’s body away from you, letting you see the monitors working on trying to break into Hongjoong and the angel’s database, not able to get much more than the number of angels at this point. You knew security was the best there was.

“If only there were a way to get access to their personal information, though? You know...so anyone who wishes could get revenge on the angels...oh wait, we have this.” Seonghwa tauntingly waves Wooyoung’s phone in front of your face, “Almost like when Hongjoong calls, we can use his voice to gain access to the system or something of the sort.”

Your heart races, knowing that was the one way to gain access to everything there, even to information on angels who retired, “Why would you want to do that to the angels? Just money? There’s plenty of easier to access information you could sell than this.”

Yunho scoffs, rolling his eyes, “No angel, this one is personal. Seonghwa’s sister was an angel, on a team much like yours...only her team didn’t bring her home. So we’re gonna teach the rest of you a lesson.”

“Once I find the two that left my sister, though...I’ll handle them myself.” Seonghwa hisses before letting Yunho go, gripping on your chair as his gaze darkens, “Now let me guess, they took what they got from me back to your little base and are going to try and find us?”

“Try?” It’s your turn to scoff now, “Don’t tell me you’re already underestimating us again, they won’t try...they will find us. And then breaking into the database would be the easiest challenge you’d have to overcome today.”

Yunho clicks his tongue, pulling a gun out of the back of his pants before putting it up to your temple, the click of the safety echoing in the room, “Just answer the question, or we won’t let you see any more of what we have planned. Which would be a real shame considering things are just now starting to get interesting.” 

You sigh softly, gaze shifting to Yunho for a moment, before back at Seonghwa, “Yeah, that’s what they would do.” 

Seonghwa smirking as he leans back, “See angel, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?” His eyes flick over to Yunho now, “Come on, babe, put the gun away. The little angel is cooperating now, and we want her to see just what’s happening, don’t we love?”

Yunho rolls his eyes, putting the gun away again, pulling out the duck tape and toying with it some, “ I hope you know, you won’t be able to depend on Yeosang and San much longer...they’ve got their own problems to deal with.”

He nods to Seonghwa, who pulls up the coordinates of your base, turning to you again, “I’ll give you a moment to look and say goodbye, they’re about to get quite the bang.” 

“Wha-” Your statement is cut off by Yunho putting the duck tape over your mouth and putting a finger over where your lips would be, shushing you.

“Shh, isn’t that much better?” Yunho chuckles as Seonghwa clicks enter on the keyboard, launching a missile straight at the coordinates of your home base. Leaving, you to hope that Yeosang and San heard enough to know to get out by now, but not quite sure if they did.

“We gotta move fast San, who knows what that could mean,” Yeosang calls, snatching one of the bags of supplies from the base and slinging it over her shoulder so they could have something while they rushed out.

“I know, I’m shutting this down now. I’ll be right behind you.” San responds, finishing up, before grabbing her bag and rushing out behind Yeosang. The two almost at the car by the time the missile hits the base, the force of the blast throwing them tumbling to the ground. Thankfully, though, with little more to worry about than a few scratches.

“Yep, they definitely want us dead.” Yeosang grunts, picking herself up off the ground with a groan and dusting off.

“Well, unlucky for them, I know where they are now...Seonghwa didn’t have any buildings in that radius, but Yunho does...that’s where we’re going.” San pulls herself off the ground too, before getting in the car and putting the location in. Letting Yeosang drive as they head towards the location, and parking a safe distance away from where they wouldn’t be seen.

“Security looks pretty tight, we won’t be able to just storm our way in without help...”Yeosang sighs, shaking her head as she lowers the binoculars she was using to get a better view of the front entrance.

“So, we’ll just have to make our own way in then.” San shrugs, “Come on, I have an idea.”

Seonghwa spotted the tear that rolled down your face before you could spot it and chuckled, “Aw, who knew angels could cry~”

He mocked you before having Jongho bring Mingi in and shove him into the chair in front of the monitors before going back to guard Wooyoung until he was needed, “It’s almost time, Mingi. I’m going to need you to get us set up. Or there’s gonna be consequences.” 

Yunho smirks playfully, brushing a finger over your cheek and collecting the tear, “You know you were rather pretty that night...but I think I prefer you this kind of broken.”

You glared at him, pulling away from his touch, which only made him chuckle. Until Jongho brought Wooyoung in. Seonghwa handed him the phone that was hardwired to the headset he handed Yunho, and the computer.

“You’re going to call Hongjoong for us.” Yunho demands of Wooyoung, pointing the gun at him. Wooyoung looks at you, with big frightened eyes. You nodded as you spotted a flash of Yeosang’s blonde hair in the security camera for the attic of the building. Seonghwa noticed the same thing and sent Jongho to deal with it. Wooyoung dials Hongjoong’s number, but when there’s no answer his hands shake, going to call again until Seonghwa stops him.

“Let Hongjoong call back, it’ll work better for our plan.” Seonghwa insists watching and waiting until the phone rings again, gesturing for Yunho to answer and Wooyoung to keep his mouth shut.

“H-Hello? This is Yunho.” He puts the front on again, despite grinning wickedly at you, “Wooyoung can’t come to the phone this second.”

“Oh, hi Yunho, this is Hongjoong. Are you with the angels again?” 

“Yeah, they had a lead, and since they weren’t sure where it was secure, they just had me go back to the base and hang out with Wooyoung. I think he went to the kitchen or something though, he shouldn’t take too long, hopefully, that’s okay.” Yunho watches Seonghwa and Mingi for the signal saying they got enough to use, to get into the system.

“That’s perfectly fine, Yunho. I’m glad you can be someplace safe right now. I don’t mind waiting for a few moments. Have the angels been doing alright?”

“Oh, the angels are perfect. Thank you so much for all the help, I honestly don’t know what I would do without you guys.” Yunho answers, and you here Hongjoong give an intrigued hum.

“Wonderful...you said you were at the base with Wooyoung, right?” 

“That’s right, I think I hear him coming back right now if you want to wait. Or I can take a message for you?” Yunho licks his lips as Mingi tells Seonghwa that they need just a little bit more.

“That’s interesting cause I thought I heard that the base just blew up.”

Your eyes widen, Wooyoung prepares to yell for Hongjoong to get help, but not quick enough as Yunho hangs up, “You’re gonna have to make that work Mingi, and fast. I don’t think we have a lot of time.”

“I-I don’t know if I can...”Mingi’s hands shake with fear as he works at the computer, Yunho huffing, impatiently as he puts the gun to Mingi’s head now.

“I don’t believe that was a question, Mingi. Now do it.” Yunho insists, taking over and making Seonghwa chuckle with a smirk.

“You’re so hot when you’re pissed.” Seonghwa winks at the other man, the pair cocky until Yeosang drops down from the roof, behind Seonghwa, cocking a gun at his head.

“Put it down, Yunho.” She glares at him, Yunho grumbling, but doing as she asks, only because it’s for Seonghwa, “Now kick it over to Wooyoung...Wooyoung I want you to take the bullets out.”

Wooyoung is obviously scared out of his mind. He does as he’s told, though, knowing that right now Yeosang has the upper hand. The girl chuckling afterward, the three of you from the agency, knowing something that the others didn’t...angels don’t use guns. Wooyoung quickly moved to undo your ties before they had a chance to get the upper hand again, so at least the odds would be a bit more even.

“How did you get past Jongho, though?” Yunho asked, only further infuriated by the current situation. Yeosang’s brows furrowing at the question.

“What do you mean, I never saw...”Her words fade out, glancing at the security cameras to see Jongho making it up to where Yeosang had come in. Her eyes, widening knowing that San was up there right now. Seonghwa, taking the opportunity to grab her wrist that held the gun and twisting it around until she dropped it, picking it up and pointing it at Yeosang.

“That was a mistake. You should have just run away, little angel.” Seonghwa hisses before pulling the trigger, thrown off by the click sound that it gave instead of going off. 

“Wow, for having a sister as an angel, you don’t know much hm?....angels don’t use guns.” You smirk, expecting a fight, but you don’t get one. Seonghwa simply snatched the drive with the locations from the angel’s database on it and clicked enter again.

“That one’s special......that one’s Hongjoong’s.” He growls before running off, with Yunho rushing behind him.

“Wooyoung, get Mingi out of here and call Hongjoong to try and warn him in time. Y/N and I are going after them since San is trying to get to the angels and warn them if she can...plus she has her hands full with the henchman.” Yeosang tells him before you and Yeosang are racing after the two men who hold the key to all the angels’ past and present, confidential information.

San was linked into the satellite they had been using to access the angels’ database, not there in time to stop them, but able to copy and document everything they had gotten. That way, they could get to or warn the angels at risk before the information got out if they weren’t able to stop Yunho and Seonghwa. Seemingly clueless to the fact that Jongho was coming up behind her. Only noticing something when he pulls out a knife, the metal reflecting sunlight flooding in from the window in front of her, sending a glare over her laptop screen. 

San noticed and spun to sweep Jongho’s leg, knocking him over in surprise and dropping the knife over the edge of the floor, dropping floors below. She’s quick to close the laptop and secure it in the case, slipping the strap around her form, where it could safely sit on her back. Jongho flips back onto his feet, to find her tying a knot into a rope hanging from one of the beams in the roof. Stopping her from going anywhere, by grabbing her hair and pulling her back so harshly she stumbles back and out of his hold with a yelp. It is a miracle she didn’t crush the laptop, but obvious that Jongho wasn’t going to let her get away without a fight.

San slipping on her gloves, getting an idea. When Jongho surges forward to get her again, she slips between his legs, sliding across the ground and grabbing the rope. It was supposed to be her way down, as the other end was secured to a sandbag. If Jongho didn’t want to let her slip away so easily, though, maybe he’d rather take that trip instead. 

“You really can’t stay still, can you? You’re a real pain.” Jongho frowns, that turning to agitation when San smirks at him.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be so slow.” She taunts back, hoping to get the response she wants of him. Knowing she’d need an opening to be able to get the rope in place. Jongho gives her just that when he turns and kicks, aiming for her face. Only San ducks, the hand with the rope slipping around his foot, before pulling the knot tight as she rolls out of his way. Moving quickly to get on her feet again, jumping up and grabbing onto one of the beams before swinging and kicking full force at Jongho’s chest with both legs. 

Jongho spills over the edge, plummeting stories down. San, bouncing off the edge after him and grabbing the bag as it reaches the top, now having to use Jongho as a counterweight. 

Wooyoung and Mingi, stopping abruptly and shrieking when Jongho is suddenly hanging upside down in front of them before suddenly heading back up where he came from, soon replaced by San. The pair have paled in shock and fear, trembling as they look at San with shaky eyes.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to join you, girls, on missions anymore.” Wooyoung’s voice is soft as he blinks at San. The whole experience, proving to be far more than he was used to or expecting.

San giggles and kisses his cheek, handing him the laptop bag, “You’re doing amazing, Woo. Take this and warn the other angels, I’m going to help Y/N and Yeosang. I’ll see you soon.”

With that, she runs off, leaving Wooyoung and Mingi to take the laptop and bolt for one of the cars while security was preoccupied with helping Yunho and Seonghwa out. Easily snatching one of their cars, Wooyoung hands Mingi the laptop bag.

“Hold on to that! We have some angels to save.”

Wooyoung pulls up to the carnage remaining at Hongjoong’s house, the whole place gone. He chews on his lip, uncertain where to go now. Until he gets a phone call, answering with furrowed brows.

“I’m sending you an address Wooyoung, meet me there...we’ll have everything we need to help our girls.”

Seonghwa and Yunho closed a door behind them and secured it so that Yeosang and Y/N couldn’t get through. Even as they tried to bust it down, the pair cursed as they can’t get it open, even together.

“Hold on! I’m coming.” San yells, watching the struggle from where she races to meet them, the trio trying again together now. It finally being enough to breach the barrier. The guards, turning along with Yunho and Seonghwa.

Yunho pushed Seonghwa towards the car that had been started right before the angels got through, “I’ll take care of them, just go get your revenge.”

“Yunho’s mine.” You tell the girls, eager to finally be able to pay back the man for the way he’d played you since the beginning of this entire involvement. 

“I’ve got the guards, Yeo you go get Seonghwa,” San tells the other, who quickly snatches a motorcycle from one of the guards, slipping on a helmet and chasing after Seonghwa before anyone can stop her from doing so. Leaving San to handle roughly five guards unless you could finish Yunho quickly and get there to help her.

“Awe, is the little angel angry? That’s too bad.” Yunho jabs, evidently not at all fearful of you or the threat you pose to him, “After I kill you, I’m going to join Seonghwa in taking out each and every angel...painfully.”

“Show me your worst then, tough guy, cause I’m not going down without a fight.” You taunt right back, waiting for him to come closer. Though thrown off as his foot tosses a board up, kicking it in your direction, instead of coming straight for you. It's something you can easily deflect, but it hides Yunho’s form long enough that you aren’t prepared for him to be at you, metal chain in hand, and quickly wrapped around your throat. Leaving you gasping and squirming, barely able to turn around before he presses you against the wall, your hands gripping the metal tightly, trying to pull it off your neck enough to get a breath. 

You’re lucky to get a foot on the wall, using the leverage and walking up the wall to flip over Yunho. The chains now in your hand instead of around your throat. You twist, pulling the chain, and Yunho along with and onto the ground. Hovering over him before landing a hard punch to knock him out, while he was still stunned.

“You okay, San?” You question hearing the sounds stop from the other group, the girl huffing as she flips her hair out of her face with a soft chuckle, before approaching footsteps.

“Yeah, just a normal day on the job. You good too?” She asks, watching you secure Yunho with the chains with a nod. Doing it on the off chance, he regained consciousness before someone came to get him. She laughs at his state, “Was it really necessary to leave a mark like that?”

“Yeah...it was.” You shrug, backing away from him to head towards another motorcycle sitting there and grabbing a helmet, “Come on, let’s go help, Yeo.”

Seonghwa spotted Yeosang in his rearview mirror as he drove away, the latter quickly working to close the gap between the two of them. Seonghwa moving to take a more public road now, weaving in and out of cars hoping Yeosang wouldn't spot one before it could hit her. It didn't matter, though, as she reached his Jeep, jumping off the bike, to grab onto the back of it. Yeosang holds on tightly as Seonghwa made a sudden turn trying to throw her off. Yeosang hanging on long enough to be able to pull herself up and into the back, though. 

Just because Yeosang no longer had to worry about the risk of being flung off the car immediately, didn't mean she had time to catch her breath. She was quick to climb up, punching Seonghwa and trying to gain control over the wheel, though he was not thrown off for long, before shoving her back off him. Yeosang slamming back into the car door on the opposite side. It popped open just as she grabbed the frame of the car to pull herself back in. Shutting the door behind herself, but getting an idea from what had happened. 

Yeosang grabbed the frame of the car, kicking across the center console to throw Seonghwa against the door on his side. It popped open like the other one had his grip on the wheel the only thing keeping him inside until she did it again at least. Seonghwa rolled out of the car as Yeosang hopped into the driver's seat and safely pulled it over and to a stop. You and San, reaching them as Seonghwa pulled himself back up.

"Hongjoong is gone and your base is gone. What can the three of you do to stop me at this point? You're alone and don't have anything." Seonghwa continues to refuse the fact that he didn't stand a chance. Rejecting defeat until the very end. 

The three of you standing, side-by-side in front of him, in the signature angels ass-kicking pose. You shake your head, "You're wrong, Seonghwa. You're the only one here who's alone." 

"Besides, once an angel, always an angel." A voice calls from behind Seonghwa. More angels, currently, and returned surrounding him down, "You picked the wrong fight." 

The three of you looking at each other and smirking, before knocking Seonghwa out while he was distracted. Wooyoung and Mingi driving up, the former immediately jumping out, still frantic.

 "I see you girls got reinforcements. Did I do alright? You're all fine, right?" Wooyoung questions looking over you girls, making you chuckle and nod, to which he breathes a soft sigh of relief.

"What about Hongjoong, is he okay?" Yeosang asks, voicing your worries. Wooyoung smiles, pulling out his phone and clicking the button. 

"Hello, angels. Good work on another successful mission. I think you girls have earned yourselves a vacation... don't get too comfortable though, it's only until you get a new base."

 "Thank you, Hongjoong! We're glad you're okay." 

Wooyoung hangs up, turning back to the car as Mingi flusters and opens the door shyly for Yeosang. His cheeks tinted a bright pink, smiling softly at her as his eyes sparkle.

 "T-Thank you for saving me." Mingi looks her right in the eyes, "M-Maybe I could make it up to you...o-over dinner sometime? U-Unless you're seeing someone?" 

"Yeah." Yeosang smiles, before seeing his face fall and realizing how that sounded, "I-I mean, yeah, I'd love to do dinner or something... I-I'm not seeing anyone."

You and San roll your eyes, laughing softly. Before you finally speak up, "Come on you two, get in the car."

"Yeah, Hongjoong's giving us a vacation, and I want to soak in as much beach time as I can get before we're off again," San adds, Wooyoung rolling his eyes at your antics and getting in the driver's seat once more to drive the whole group of you off. 

The vacation on Hongjoong this time, it being the least he could do to take care of his angels.

[rainbowpacifiers]

Twin Kingdoms (A3! Event story) - Chapter 4

The first day of rehearsals is under way. Some actors struggle more with their portrayals than others. Meanwhile, Haruto contemplates the meaning of continuing work as an actor. 

Chapter 3 | Index | Chapter 5

Reni: We will now begin the read-through. Izumi: (We finally have the first day of rehearsals... The atmosphere is different from usual, so I'm a little nervous.) Haruto: "Father...I am so sorry." Shift: "Where are you going at this hour?" Haruto: "--Why are you here?" Shift: "We have been together since birth. At the very least, I know what you're thinking. Running away won't solve anything." Haruto: "I know that. But my existence creates an idle conflict." Izumi: (Haruto-kun is a little stiff. Shift-kun has grasped Lutz perfectly.) Tasuku: "Tch, that pighead! His brains are fossilising with old age." Azami: "Whatever the circumstances may be, you are going too far, Master Gilbert." Tasuku: "Now while the people are impoverished, it's ridiculous to have a war with North Aria. Neither the high officials nor my father are staring reality in the face." Azami: "It seems we cannot avoid the beginning of a war." Izumi: (Just as you'd expect from Tasuku-san. He does it in a majestic manner. Azami-kun must be a bit nervous because of this atmosphere.)

Reni: ...Hm. With that, we've read through it once. Reni: First, Haruto: I want the spirit you had during the audition. Reni: This might be a read-through, but you're trying too hard to say your lines beautifully. Haruto: --Yes. I'm sorry. Reni: Shift should show the intimacy with Cain. Be more conscious of the fact that you've been by his side as his foster brother since childhood. Shift: O~kay. Reni: Tasuku, the balance between Gilbert's princeliness and his vehemence is good. Keep it up. Tasuku: Yes. Reni: I think it would be better if Izumida's Sasha showed a bit more of his devoted manner in the midst of his hypocritical courtesy. Azami: 'kay. Reni: Do you have anything to add? Izumi: Ah, yes! Erm... Izumi: (Being focused on in the middle of this serious mood is making me nervous too...) Izumi: During the scene when Cain reveals his identity to Gilbert, it weighed on my mind that Cain's feelings weren't really conveyed. Izumi: Because I feel that this is an important scene where the emotions of the two shift, I would like a clearer presentation.  Reni: True, I felt the same way. Haruto, how do you interpret this scene? Haruto: --Eh, erm, this is, that... Reni: What about Tasuku? Tasuku: For Gilbert, I think he may sway between the impression of a prince of an enemy country that he's had for many years and the image of a Cain to whom he felt a sort of closeness. Reni: Hm, that's right. Haruto, think it over a little until the next time. Haruto: --yes. Troupe member A: That's Tasuku-san for you. Troupe member B: He hasn't changed since his time at GOD Troupe. Haruto: .....

Shift: Here is the dressing room of the common room and over there are the changing rooms. Though I think you've been here before. Azami: No, yours is bigger than our theatre, and I wouldn't remember it after one time, so this is a big help. Shift: Well, if you identify even just this area, you shouldn't be in any trouble. Azami: Oh, that's true. Should we get something to eat on the way home? Shift: Ah, today is kind of... Azami: I see. I'll go ahead then. Shift: Okay, see you.

Haruto: ....Sigh. Shift: Haruto-san. Haruto: Uwah! Shift: Your surprise is too extreme. Haruto: Don't just show up out of the blue! Shift: I was standing there for a long time though. Haruto: Your presence is too weak! Shift: There you go again~. Calling the presence of GOD Troupe's top actor weak~. Haruto: Seriously, your self-esteem is too high, it's annoying. Shift: Let's get something to eat. Haruto: Pass. I'm tired; I want to go home early. Shift: If you're going to eat after coming home anyway, we should do it together. A quick meal is fine, so if you wish, let's go to your place to eat together! Haruto: You are the only one I will absolutely not bring home. Shift: Eeeh~, fine, croquette udon then. Haruto: How do you come to that conclusion!?

Haruto: Haah.... Shift: Oh, would you have preferred the kitsune udon? Haruto: That's not it at all. Shift: Today's first rehearsal was fun, wasn't it? Haruto: How. Shift: You know, how Reni-san's instructions have changed too and all. Haruto: Yeah... now, he often asks the actors for their opinions. Shift: What we want to express, how we're interpreting it and such. Shift: It's really fun when a new form is created by combining your own opinion and Reni-san's interpretation. Shift: And he also teaches you what might be good in order to express your own interpretation! Haruto: Although until now, we were required to be something like dolls that were completely devoted in order to embody Reni-san's ideals. Haruto: Now, Reni-san looks like he has fun too. Shift: Are you not having fun, Haruto-san? Haruto: That's not it. It's just that it feels different. Haruto: (Because of the wall so far, I stopped daring to do my own interpretation until the first day.) Haruto: (From now on, I not only have to comply with Reni-san's requests, but will also be asked for my own thoughts...) Haruto: (Precisely because I'm required to do a 180-degree change, the switchover is rather difficult.) Haruto: (Though he, who is like a sponge, just adapts in no time and is enjoying himself.) Shift: Is there something? Haruto: No. Shift: Speaking of different feelings, I'm happy I get to perform with Azami, but it feels weird after all. Shift: Because he's kind of like a relative I've been with since forever, I should say it's sort of embarrassing, I guess? Haruto: The fans will compare us to the actors from their troupe, so absolutely do not let your guard down. Shift: I know that. Shift: But just as I thought, Tasuku-san is amazing. Like, his interpretation and such are perfect. Shift: Reni-san, too, really praised him from day one. Haruto: ——. Shift: We're not going to lose, right? Haruto: That's why I was thinking of returning home early and reading through the script to prepare for tomorrow. Shift: Eh, but your lines already perfect, aren't they? Shift: Isn't it fine if you just believe in the interpretation that simply sprang up in your mind, without reading through the script and thinking it over again and again? Haruto: You--! Haruto: (There are those who can do that without hesitation and those who can't!) Shift: What is it? Haruto: It's nothing! Shift: Weren't you able to do an interpretation of Cain during the audition properly, Haruto-san? Shift: I'm practicing with the image of that Cain with those improvised lines in mind, you know. Haruto: (Back then, my head was full with thoughts of being chosen because I wanted to confront Tasuku one more time.) Haruto: (Also, there was also the envy I felt toward Shift next to me, who did his improvised lines first and without a hitch.) Haruto: (I felt the same thing from Shift, who was discovered by Reni-san just like Tasuku was, as I have felt with Tasuku. Something I can never have myself...) Haruto: (When I took a risk and made lines from those desperate feelings which I noticed in that place, I was able to snatch up the lead role.) Haruto: (And if I think that I shouldn't be excited, it's because of that shameful sight of that first of day of rehearsals.) Haruto: (After all, I...) Haruto: Don't you ever have these moments when you become afraid of continuing as an actor? Shift: Huh? Afraid how? Haruto: Like not attaining success, or suffering setbacks and such. Shift: Hm... well, I am thinking of succeeding as an actor and wanting my family to have an easy life, but if I can't do that, then yeah, I feel scared... Shift: Since I was promoted to a regular troupe member, the stage performance fee and the royalties from the merchandise goods have been steadily increasing, which has helped my household budget. Shift: To be honest, I don't think I'm very worried about the current situation. Haruto: ....so it's like that in your case. Shift: On the contrary, if it's something other than a financial matter for the actor, what else would be the cause for failure? Haruto: ...Something like fear that you might not be the "real thing"? Shift: The "real thing"? Shift: So no one but "really good" people should act?  Haruto: No, that's not it. Haruto: It's just that, as long as you're acting, anyone would think that they probably have real talent and that they want to be acknowledged. Haruto: But the reality isn't like that. If someone is chosen to be the lead, someone else is not. Haruto: There are only a small number of "real deals" that are acknowledged by a lot of people. Haruto: If you know that you're not one of those handfuls, you'd normally become scared, right? Haruto: As a "fake" that will soon be replaced by another actor, should I cling to acting? Or give up on being an actor?... Shift: But if you continue, you might become the real thing one day. Haruto: ——. Haruto: (In any case...you're already one of the people on that side. I can tell by looking at you when you are on stage.) Haruto: (Though it's not like I can say that to your face.) Haruto: (Supposing I can never become the real deal... what would be the meaning of me still continuing with acting?)  Haruto: (Just what am I continuing as an actor for?...) Shift: You will definitely be just fine. I acknowledge you. Haruto: Even if you do... Shift: So let's do our best together from now on too. At the reborn GOD Troupe! Haruto: I'm tellin' ya not to just call us reborn as ya please!

_______________

Chapter 3 | Index | Chapter 5

[luvskywalker]

prideful piloting- ch 4

warnings: language probably, mentioned gambling

word count: 1.2k

series masterlist !!

a/n: HI GUYS!! it’s been forever lmao i am sooo sorry i haven’t gotten this chapter out sooner :( ! hope you enjoy it though💞💞

damerons suspension had ended a solar week ago, and you saw less of him since then. he had begun to make better decisions, which made your job a whole lot less irritating. you spent the time you were usually using to tell off dameron for being reckless to train with your aunt. you had searched deep within yourself for this week, and the determination to find your father and bring him home helped you overcome your fear of the power you held. leia had taught you a lot already in such a short amount of time, including how to properly use your own lightsaber. she had told you that now it was crucial you learned the ways of the force, the ways of the jedi, for you needed to help restore balance to the force. you trusted her judgement, your aunt had never led you wrong. you also knew within yourself that you would continue what your father- even your grandfather- had started, what they had devoted their lives to. gossip was spread like wildfire all over base about the map to your father, so you started spending less and less time with the people on base and more time training and studying the jedi way on your own, until this week. today, the morning was a regular morning until you had been very rudely interrupted on your warm up run. a dreadfully familiar pilot was now jogging alongside you, before cutting you off and forcing you to stop your run.

“what is it?” you were quite irritated already, could he not see you were busy?

“what’ve you been up to?” you wondered what he was getting at, but he answered the question before you could ask.

“the squadron misses having you around, you’re never out on base.” huh, you really didn’t think they cared about you that much. you had always gravitated more towards solitude, and even when you commanded the squadron you didn’t think of you all to be close. i guess i was wrong, you thought, and your heart suddenly swelled. you were really missing out on friendships, and even though there was a war going on, they were still important.

“what are you suggesting?” you asked dameron, after snapping out of your racing head.

“just that you eat in the mess at our table.” he and the squadron had to have noticed your absence, and you appreciated the invite.

“im a little busy, i have a lot of training and a mission in a solar week. sorry, i just don’t think i can.” you felt bad for declining, but you know that if you started spending more time with people, they’d eventually find out about your parenthood. you didn’t want them to think you were given the rank of admiral simply because leia was your aunt; no one other than the general herself knew of your identity.

“come on, amidala.” he urged.

you had taken on your grandmothers last name in order to protect your identity without destroying it completely.

“i will not hesitate to go over your head and inform the general that you refuse to be involved on base.”

you shot him a glare.

“you wouldn’t dare.” it was childish almost, but you knew leia wouldn’t stand for you being so antisocial, in the same way a mother would.

“oh but i would, and i think i should right now” he sent a quick wink, before jogging away in the direction of leia’s office. you sprinted up to him, grabbing his shoulder before realizing it and quickly pulling your hand away.

“fine, i’ll eat with you guys.” the man smiled brightly at you, before nodding.

“thanks, and it only took a little threat” before bidding you a goodbye and walking off, leaving you to your training once again.

you spent a mere twenty more minutes training, practicing new moves with your saber before heading off to the mess. meals were served from certain times on base and though you usually caught them toward the end when everyone left, tonight you walked over to the table the black squadron sat at and found yourself sitting next to jessika pava. the chatter and liveliness made you realize you actually had missed the comradery that the squadron offered, finding yourself joining in. you loved to laugh and you had realized that you were throwing yourself into your work too much, for you missed laughing with your friends dearly.

“we missed having you, admiral amidala.”

you offered a bright smile at wexley- snap- you corrected yourself in your head.

“thanks for having me back, i missed you guys a lot!”

the group smiled at you, and you found yourself content for the first time this solar week, all worries of your father slipping your mind for the time being.

“so, does karé still suck at sabacc?” the girl rolled her eyes at you, and this caused a debate followed by several sabacc games, won by either you or jessika.

“i think i’m going to call it a night” you told the group, after winning your third game in a row of sabacc.

it was poe’s turn to address the squadron,

“i’m gonna turn in too guys, mind if i walk with you?”

he put you in an awkward position, you would seem rude to deny him; he was just a friend offering some company on the walk back to your quarters.

“not at all, let’s go dameron.”

little did you know, immediately after you and poe had left the table, they erupted with chatter.

“they’re literally perfect for eachother!” karé had exclaimed as soon as you both left.

“i would know, (y/n) and i used to be super close” jessika started, and as the karé and snap agreed, she continued.

“they’d be such a good couple, they’re both idiots yet such amazing leaders.”

the group continued agreeing and soon, they vowed to do whatever it took to make you both get together.

meanwhile, you were actually enjoying your walk with dameron, probably because it was relatively silent.

as you arrived at your quarters, you turned to him and exhaled lightly. “please don’t let this go to your head” you began, looking straight at him now.

“no promises” he gave back, a smug look on his face.

“i really appreciate what you did for me today, you know, making me come eat with you guys.”

a small smile graced your face, and he returned it.

“no problem. i- we all noticed that you seemed even more distant, and you were probably stressed. nothing helps more than friends.”

shockingly deep. you looked away, breaking the newly overwhelming nature of the eye contact.

“thank you, really”

he grabbed your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. you both looked down at your joined hands, and as sudden as the touch arrived it vanished. you looked back up and met his eyes, finding something you couldn’t seem to read.

“anytime.” his words came out quick, and he all but ran off. if you looked hard enough, you would’ve been able to see how his hand flexed as he quickly left you. you stood alone outside your tent for a moment, wondering why everything seemed to feel so electric when his hand had touched yours.

[acciomalfoy]

PRANK WARS (GEORGE WEASLEY X READER)

Warnings: none

“You have been chosen. Within this box contains hundreds, if not a thousand Weasley Wizard’s Wheezes products. This year, we have elected one wizard from the houses of Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin to assist us in popping the vein on Snape’s head. None of you know the others identities. Your job is pranking every house mate you have, and avoiding suspicion. If you are caught, you will become our number one target. Winner takes all, and the prize is worth more than it’s weight in gold. Good luck.” I breathed, reading the letter in the parcel. Luckily the package had had a note on the side warning the receiver to open in their room. I hadn’t been expecting anything, and I hadn’t seen if any owls had flown in with a matching parcel. I opened the package, and I grinned. It was bright, bursting with colours and tricks. My brain was already planning just how I was going to trick the rest of Slytherin house.

I walked silently, pondering about whether or not my plan would work. I hoped it did. I didn’t want to disappoint Fred or George, however annoying they were in classes. I wonder how they had chosen me, and then I wondered who else they had chosen. They didn’t choose anyone from Gryffindor I noticed, which meant they had big plans for their house. I hoped mine didn’t pale in comparison. The Great Hall was already open, as it opens before five on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday’s. Unsurprisingly, the room was empty of people.

I walked over to the Slytherin table, and fished my bag of tricks out of my pocket. I dropped a couple of Weasely’s Snaps into each goblet. Once the goblets were shaken, or even moved in some cases they would pop, causing the drink to explode in the drinkers face. In order to not arise suspicion, I put the Snaps in every goblet, so even I would fall victim. They were also charmed, so when I said the word “fumious” they would explode. Then I snuck back to the common room, and more importantly, my bed.

My roommate, Astoria, woke me up by shrieking into my ear, and I almost bit her nose off.

“Shove off, Tori.” I groaned, getting out of bed despite my protesting. She laughed and began getting changed. I turned my bisexual ass around and got changed facing the other direction. My wand was on my bedside table, and I accio’d it to me as we walked out the door. The common room was loud as usual, and it resembled my anticipation for breakfast.

“I’m starving. What did we have for dinner last night again?” Astoria walked like she was on a runway, and I laughed.

“What do you think you’re doing? Walking like you’re actually cool makes you look like you’ve got a stick up your ass.” She winked at me.

“Maybe I do.” I mimed vomiting.

“You’re gross! Go kiss Flint!” I laughed again at her reaction.

“Ew! I do not intend to touch that bastard, let alone- let alone- no, I can’t even say it.” We were still laughing as we entered the great hall. Everyone was chattering, and it seemed my Snaps hadn’t gone off yet. Just wait for it. We sat down, and piled our plates. I lifted my goblet, filled with water of course, and made sure as many people were holding their goblets as possible.

“Fumious.” The beautiful word was spoken by yours truly, and the Snaps flew into everyone’s faces. Pandemonium struck, and screams erupted from the Slytherin table. The water in my face was actually quite refreshing, but I feigned a look of shock. If only these bitches knew. I saw McGonagall stand up in surprise, followed by Snape. I snuck a look at George, and he was grinning at me. I grinned back proudly, and snickered at the rest of my house.

Later that day we had potions. Snape was assigning us our partners for the term, and it was shaping up to be a Slytherin-Gryffindor mix.

“Y/n L/n and Fred Weasley.” I looked up when someone sat beside me.

“George? Why are you here?” George winked at me, and I raised an eyebrow.

“Nice prank this morning. It was pretty cool. How did you get them all to go off at the same time?” He asked curiously. I assembled the potions ingredients and smiled mysteriously.

“Little trick I learnt. You didn’t actually think you two were the only ones who prank people at Hogwarts, did you?” One look at George’s face told me did. I laughed.

“Hey! How did you do it? It could drastically improve our performances!” He pleaded. I shook my head smugly.

“Sorry, Georgie. This spell is for my family only.” I laughed when he scowled, but I saw a looming presence headed our way.

“Ten points from Gryffindor for distracting Miss L/n.” Snape walked away as quickly as he arrived, and George’s classmates groaned. Fred grinned.

“So, how did you choose the three people?” I asked, preparing the potion ingredients.

“Tell me how you did the spell and I will.” George tapped his nose.

“No way. I don’t care that much. I think I’ll go tell Snape that you’re in the wrong seat.” I went to stand up and George yanked me down.

“You do that and you’re dead. You’ll become the target of every prank we pull.” He glared at me and I laughed.

“Only kidding, George. Lighten up a little, anyone would think you’re related to Snape.” He scowled at me and I smiled, adding asphodel roots to the potion.

It was two days before my next prank. I had been practising this one like crazy, because levitation was hard enough when you weren’t levitating sixty plates at once. The other houses had done their first pranks throughout the two days, and meal times were the prime time. Every time we sat down for meals, students anticipated the prank, but never who it was for, and never what it was.

When we sat down for dinner, I fiddled with my wand under the table, practising that damn swish and flick. I piled some pasta onto my plate, and I scanned the table to make sure everyone had food on their plate.

“Wingardium Leviosa!” I muttered. The plates, sixty fucking plates, all flew up. The hall was filled with loud laughter and groans, and the Slytherins tried to reach theirs, which was settled above their heads. The plates only went higher, always just out of reach. Snape stood, and marched over to the table. The plates all moved towards Snape like he was a magnet. He was surrounded, and still out of reach from them. All we could see was a tornado of plates, no Snape.

“Oh my god!” Astoria squealed, and I gasped with her.

“Where did he go?” I laughed and tried to peer through the tornado.

“Is he dead?” Shit, I fucking hope not. I moved the plates away, and they settled back on the table, in completely different spots.

“Who the fuck eats meatloaf?” I stared at the lump in front of me. Hmm, that would be a good prank.

“Just get a roll and put it in there. Tastes slightly more bearable.” Astoria had a tuna salad, that stunk.

“Tuna smells, but it doesn’t taste that bad. No, I am not swapping for your meatloaf.” I groaned, and poked the meatball with the fork. Snape slunk back to the teachers table, and that was the end of that.

George caught my eye when Astoria and I were leaving the Great Hall. He winked, and I winked back.

Two days later I had a new plan. This one, like the plates, didn’t involve one of the twins products. This was just me and my words. With the help of the house elves, of course.

I made up an excuse to skip our free last period, telling Tori I had to talk a professor. I didn’t say which one, and she didn’t ask. I went to the kitchens, and with a tickle of a pear I entered. House elves were bustling about, and I stopped one.

“Hi!”

When I left, it was with a smug smile and chocolate around my lips.

We sat down, the food already appearing. It looked delicious, as always. I didn’t quite know what to grab, knowing it all tasted the same. I decided on my usual, delicious cheesy pizza. I put on my plate, and filled my goblet with juice before hearing the shouts.

I feigned shock on the off chance anyone was looking at me, and I craned my neck to see the commotion.

Astoria spat out the pizza she had just taken a bite of, and took a gulp of her goblet.

“What the fuck is wrong with this pizza?” She looked so disgusted, and I laughed.

“What do you mean? I know you’re picky but damn, did you have to come after pizza? It didn’t do anything wrong-” She shoved her slice in my mouth and I groaned, biting down. It tasted like shit. Personally, I’ve never eaten shit, but it tasted like the scent of Astoria after she ate baked beans. I spat it out into my napkin, and almost threw up.

“Ew!” I didn’t realise it would taste quite as bad as this. The house elves had truly outdone themselves. With a flick of my wand the taste of shit was vanished from the food, and I picked up my pizza.

“Let’s try mine.” I took a bite, and the cheesy goodness overwhelmed me. I sighed in happiness, and practically shoved the slice in Astoria’s mouth. She glared at me as she chewed, but it turned into a dreamy look. I picked up another slice and took a bite. Delicious.

“Hey, it tastes good now!” Millicent Bulstrode, a girl a couple years below us, belted out. Everyone hurriedly took another bite, collective sighs of relief filling the room. Astoria and I shared relieved grins, and I wondered what the hell I could do top my previous pranks.

We heard the next morning on our way to breakfast. Roger Davies had been caught by Filch trying to slip frogs into the Ravenclaw’s breakfast! Pansy, a girl in Millicent’s year, spilled the news excitedly.

“Apparently there’s been a competition, it’s not just pranks for fun. I heard that two people from each house were chosen by the Weasleys to battle it out it pranks. See you!” She whisked off to spread the news to others, while Tori and I shared a look.

“This does sound very, how will I put it, Weasley.” I said, and Astoria laughed.

“True. I wonder who the Slytherin students are.” We looked around at the group that was with us, trying to figure out who it was. Or, in my case, trying to act like it wasn’t me. We reached the Great Hall, to see the Weasely twins with Roger at the front, talking with Dumbledore. That couldn’t be good. Tori and I took our usual seats, when Malfoy sat on the other side of me.

“Hey L/n.” I eyed him suspiciously.

“Morning Malfoy.” He gave me a small smile before turning to his friend on his other side.

“That was weird.” I murmured to Tori, who shook her head.

“He likes you. Godric, Malfoy likes you!” I laughed hysterically, choking on my orange juice. Tori was funny.

“I’m serious-“

“Attention, please. Could the two students from Slytherin and Hufflepuff involved in the Weasley twins, ahem, contest, please make their way to the front.” The hall fell silent, and I eyed the Hufflepuff table. Who was going to stand up? When Cedric Diggory, the dreamy curly haired boy stood up, I gasped.

“Where’s Slytherin’s competitor?” Tori glanced around the table, and when I stood up, she gasped.

“You bitch!” I hid my smile as I walked up, my cheeks burning red. This was so embarrassing.

“In case students were unaware, these three students recently undertook a challenge set by the Weasley twins. Best pranks win until someone gets caught. To determine who’s pranks were the best, the loudest applause takes the title of Vice Pranker. Applause for Davies.” The Great Hall erupted in chatter and claps, and I knew that it would be silent when my name was called.

“Diggory.” Hufflepuffs are loud, I’ll give them that. The screaming that was heard was deafening, and I grinned at Diggory. I never would have guessed him.

“L/n.” The Great Hall shook, and I covered my mouth. For what must have been the first time in Hogwarts history, Slytherin and Gryffindor were on the same side. Who would have guessed?

“Y/n L/n, I now pronounce you Vice Pranker. Will you please step forward and close your eyes to claim your prize.” My eyes searched Tori’s in the crowd, but I couldn’t see her. I stepped forward hesitantly, closing my eyes. I heard shuffling, and when lips met mine, I opened my eyes. George stepped back and grinned.

“Vice Pranker. Pleasure to meet you.”

[primasveraas-writing]

This is Home

Request: “Finnpoe where Finn keeps slipping into First Order habits/has culture shock with the Resistance?”

Thanks for sending this in!

Ship/drabble requests are open!

WORD COUNT: 2855

XXX

Finn knows he was reborn the day he left the First Order.

Out of blood and pain, he reentered the world. He was given a name. He was held in the embrace of friends who would become family, and the moment they saw him, they loved him.

He was struck down, and he awoke again, taking teetering, unsteady steps as he relearned how to walk. There was fire and water and darkness as he stumbled confusedly on the ship until he ran into Poe, and the universe began to make sense again.

And Finn was reborn.

Yet the past never left him. The sensation of freedom, at last, overtook him- a weight off his chest, blissful as he’d never known before. Finn wasn’t sure if it was rational to expect complete liberation when the ideals of the First Order were so deeply ingrained within him, but he was given a new life and a new identity to make his own.

If he was reborn, then FN-2187 is the ghost that haunts his every step.

On a surface level, everything is fine. He has friends, Poe and Rey, and the whole of the Resistance seems to welcome him with open arms. He is free to do as he pleases, so long as he pitches in around the base, and he doesn’t have to fight in combat unless he chooses to. He has full meals three times a day, and people who smile at him when he passes in the hall. On their new base, he can go outside and smell the fresh air and explore the natural world.

Every morning, Finn wakes up at 0600. It’s the same time the claxon went off in the First Order barracks, and true to his earliest memories, his eyes open routinely, even before the sun dawns over Ajan Kloss. Since duties don't start until 0700 or 0800, depending on rank, Finn watches the sun rise through his window, and tries not to think about how for the first time in his life, he has a window to call his own. He has his own private quarters, and they are deathly silent each day.

Regardless, Finn dresses promptly, then turns to face the light. The sun hasn’t yet crept through the trees into his room, but he knows it will soon. He glances at the chronometer sitting on his bedside table. Yesterday, the sun rose at 0641, the first beams coming through the window slowly, almost one by one. Today, he waits for the sun to rise just a few minutes later. 

This is how Finn bides his time, counting minutes of sunlight because he cannot escape a lifetime of conditioning.

At 0705, Finn rises, stretching his limbs, which are aching after an hour of sitting idly. Poe rises at 0700, and Finn has quickly learned that his friend is someone who can be considered a "morning person." It's a choice, apparently, to wake early and be productive at the start of the day. They make a habit of eating together before much of the base has come to life. In this sense, they are unique: few others willingly wake so early. Even Poe’s activity and enthusiasm are special, but Finn discovers that this is due to his two cups of caf taken daily in the morning. Even so, he's still brighter than Jessika, who refuses to talk until her first cup is empty, consumed slowly and accompanied with tired, sulky eyes.

Poe greets him loudly, smiling wide and clapping the other man on the back. Finn can’t help but respond just as happily, although it’s dampened with exhaustion, even after being awake for just one hour. Poe doesn’t notice, however, or attributes it to the normalcy of life during the war. Either way, Finn is glad no one else knows. He hasn’t told anyone of his sleeplessness, that he can betray the First Order but not shake them in his daily habits.

When they get to the mess, Poe heaps his plate with food, gleefully exclaiming about the freshness of a new dish that has appeared among the standard breakfast options. Finn takes small portions of a few staples, remembering how his stomach ached when he ate too much rich food immediately after joining the Resistance.

Jessika is already at their usual table, glowering at Poe when he says good morning. After Finn asks her why she’s up so early, she tosses back her dark hair, preparing to unload her grievances.

“Someone assigned me training duty,” she says, pointing a finger accusingly at Poe, who only grins in response. “I’m teaching a few new recruits the x-wing basics.” And although she rolls her eyes to puncuate this statement, Finn knows that she doesn’t really mind, aside from requiring an extra cup of caf and some pretend sympathy for the lost hour of rest.

The female pilot sighs, returning to her plate and half-emptied mug. She looks at Finn and shakes her head. “Man, I cannot understand how you don’t eat more. I wake up and I’m starving.” Almost to emphasize her point, she shovels a pile of eggs into her mouth decorously.

“Charming, Pava,” Poe says, snorting. Finn chuckles too, ignoring the sensation of his stomach dropping into the floor. The food provided by the Resistance is far more than he’s used to- so much more than the First Order had ever allotted for their soldiers. It was never enough then, but it didn’t matter. Their job was to function, not to be satisfied.

Still, Finn considers taking more food. His portioning had led to embarrassment one day when his stomach had growled loudly during a Resistance meeting. Most paid him no mind, but Poe, standing next to him, had offered Finn a ration bar, furthering the heat already burning Finn’s cheeks. He had promptly refused, ashamed that his body had ousted his hunger. He was already receiving plenty of food; he shouldn’t need even more.

Despite his thoughts, the meal continues, the pilots beside Finn drawing him out of his reverie. They are a reminder; he is a part of them now, but Finn does not get up to add more food to his plate. He starts the day still hungry.

Most of the day passes normally; by now he knows to smile at his fellow Resistance members in the hall and relax his posture when he walks. Only once does he catch himself looking around in fear of being reprimanded for breaking protocol, but he manages to remember where he is and the right way to behave. He attends a strategy meeting, laughs with his friends, and as the day continues, the knot of anxiety in his stomach begins to unwind.

It’s clearly fine, and Finn tries to show it. Most of the time, Finn doesn’t even feel his heart beating out of his chest; the fact that he can disregard it demonstrates his progress. Even when his voice falters midconversation, after missing Snap’s layered sarcasm minutes into a debate, he recovers quickly enough that they all can laugh and move on. Finn laughs the loudest, failing to notice how Poe refrains, moving slightly closer to his friend.

It’s been a good day, Finn decides, with significantly fewer blunders made than the day before. Finn tries to maintain the conversation before he lets himself get lost in review, thinking over what he should have done better. But by the time he’s in the command room, even after the last meal of the day, his mind wanders, and General Organa, made haughty by extended hours, barks out his name suddenly.

Finn instantly stiffens, snapping to attention. His gaze hardens, staring straight ahead, and his heart thuds in his chest, so loudly that he’ll be scolded for that too. His arms are rods at his side, and Finn braces for Phasma’s raised voice-

“Relax, Finn,” the General says softly. Her tone is as gentle as Finn’s ever heard it, mirroring her comforting touch as she reaches out to grasp Finn's shoulder. "We don't do that here. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

Finn nods, shame burning inside him, fueled by the anxiety that’s made its home within every part of his being. She is looking at him with pity in her eyes, and Finn cannot meet her gaze. Perhaps she realizes this, because she speaks again, this time assuming something closer to her typical conviction.

“To win a battle and to return scarred is still a victory. You have been fighting this battle ever since you got here. Nobody expects you to lose, but no one expects it to be easy, either.” Her words become conversational, as if Finn’s plight were the changing of the seasons. “But one good thing about living on a rebel base is that you’re surrounded by good, patient people. And most of us know a thing or two about change, too.”

She leaves it at that, but her eyes are sparkling. Finn comes back to himself, nodding. That one of the biggest differences between his old life and this new one- he's never felt a mother's gaze until Leia had looked at him, with such an unfamiliar sympathy and love. It's inexplicably wonderful; Finn wants to burst into tears and hug the General all at once. Sometimes he wonders if she would ever let him, but he can't allow himself to ever decide. Instead, he nods again, clearing his throat so he can manage a soft “thank you.”

Leia smiles briefly, then dismisses him for the night, declaring to the whole room that they have free time until duty begins again tomorrow.

***

Weeks pass, and Finn does better. He still doesn’t take more food, but each day, even each hour, he becomes more and more unrecognizable as a First Order trooper. He becomes Finn, who is part of the rebellion all around, born of his friends’ humor, love, and loyalty. It is good, even if he can still sometimes hear his heart pounding in his chest or stiffens whenever an admiral passes by.

At night, he collapses into bed, exhausted from the effort of assimilating into the Resistance. As soon as he’s left off from duty, Finn usually retreats to his quarters, preferring a few moments of peace and quiet to himself, lying on his bed as the world spins around him and he tries to regain a sense of balance between his new life and the one he left behind. He doesn’t wish to go back- of course not- but when he’s exhausted and depleted at the end of the day, he wants something familiar. Which in turn makes him angry, because all that’s ever been familiar was the First Order, and he certainly doesn’t want that. So the cycle continues, and Finn is helpless to it, even if it gets easier day by day. He is still resigned to the hurricane of emotions and tiredness at every quiet moment available to him, when the bustling life in the Resistance slows enough for him to think.

It’s on one of these nights, when Finn is halfway undressed and slumped in bed, that Poe comes knocking on his door. Finn, mostly asleep and lethargically watching the sun set through his window, scrambles to his feet, pulling on a pair of pants frantically.

“Coming!” Finn shouts, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, although his heart is racing enough that he’s fully awake already.

Poe is smiling when the door opens, but it quickly fades upon seeing Finn, wrinkled clothes, messy hair, and all. Tenderly, he reaches out to touch the other man’s shoulder, but Finn fights to keep a smile on his face still.

“Can I come in?”

Finn steps aside, allowing Poe into his quarters, almost regretting it when Poe’s critical eyes sweep over the room, taking in the emptiness of it all, including the bed that has already been slept in that evening.

“Take a breath, Finn,” Poe tells him, managing an easy grin once more. “I was just stopping by.”

Finn nods, relaxing his shoulders and posture, leaning into Poe as he speaks, showing calculated interest beyond his genuine appreciation at Poe’s visit.

“So,” the pilot continues, “is this where you disappear to every night?”

Freezing momentarily, as if he’d been caught, Finn has to remember how to talk. Perhaps Poe realizes this, because he speaks again, his tone gentle.

“I was just worried about you, buddy. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Finn shifts uncomfortably, dropping his gaze. “It’s a lot. Every day” His words are timid and painfully soft. “I just want to fit in but it’s all so new.”

Stepping closer to Finn, Poe reaches out to grasp Finn’s arm. “I understand, Finn. But you aren’t alone in this. I know how overwhelming this can be. We’re surrounded by all kinds of beings from around the galaxy during the middle of a war. I know it’s harder for you, but if you ever need anything, just ask.”

Wordlessly, Finn nods, and Poe draws him close, wrapping his arms around Finn’s waist and letting the former stormtrooper bury his face in Poe’s neck. 

***

So Finn does ask. In the morning, when Poe offers him a bite of his food, he tries it and asks for more. Not every day, but sometimes. He asks about species of beings he’s never seen before, to try and understand all parts of the Resistance. He asks how he can help, how he can reach out to people he’s never talked to on the base. He asks how to fit in, how he should address his superiors and compose himself during meetings. He asks medics and Poe and everyone he knows who has faced impossible odds and the anxiety that comes with it on how to find and keep calm. He asks for help when he doesn’t understand something, even after the relevant moment has passed, because Poe is always there afterward, his eyes kind and knowing, and Finn learns that Poe will never stop being there for him. It is gradual and slow, but soon enough, Finn isn’t embarrassed or afraid anymore, to need Poe’s help and patience, and life becomes easier.

So Finn later asks, only partially shy, if he can kiss Poe.

(Poe says yes.)

Then Poe is there, in the early hours, when Finn wakes before dawn. His boyfriend is a light sleeper; as soon as Finn stirs in in his arms, Poe rises too. At first, they start their day together, beginning their daily duties hours earlier, but as time goes on, and Finn feels more at home in Poe’s embrace, he stays in bed longer, even if he can’t fall asleep again. Until, one day, Finn opens his eyes and sees Poe smiling above him. Finn is confused, but upon checking the chronometer next to him, he realizes that it is far past 0600. This does not happen the next day, nor the one after that, but it is the start of a gradual change, one that will continue through to the rest of his life.

They share a cup of caf after, especially when it becomes routine for Poe to wake Finn, despite the latter's grumpy protests. Finn starts by sipping the dark beverage, made strong and without sugary additives, even though it's far too bitter for Finn's preferences. Poe laughs at him when his nose wrinkles at the flavor, but he doesn't mind it when their kisses shortly thereafter still have the lingering warmth and taste of the drink.

Finn discovers his favorite food, a dish made from exotic fruits. The recipe has been passed on from Shara Bey to her son, who recreates it for Finn after a particularly bountiful supply run, and all Finn wants is more, a thousand more lazy afternoons watching Poe cook and mutter to himself in languages from Yavin IV, and kissing Finn periodically as he does it all.

They hold hands in the hall, and Finn finds himself grinning back at his friends, heat flushing his cheeks when Poe tells him how beautiful his smile is. That’s new too, the ease with which he can navigate teasing and sarcasm, and he is overjoyed when Black Squadron falls to pieces at one of his jokes.

Leia smiles at him brightly as ever, and after Finn suggests a new strategy, he realizes she's beaming at him. Once the meeting adjourns, she wraps her arm around his shoulder and tells him she's glad he's home. He does get choked up then, turning away so Leia doesn't see the shine in his eyes, but she is merciful enough to squeeze his arm and walk away, leaving the statement hanging in the air, and Finn to his joy and thoughts.

But she’s right, he thinks, as the Resistance celebrates another victory that night. He’s curled in Poe’s arms, watching the flames of the bonfire flicker into the night, listening to the laughter and shouts of joy from the rest of the base as they drink and party with a sense of carefreeness that is surprisingly common here, even during the war. 

This is home.

[ketoxtremeshred]

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This supplement assists you to get involved in ketosis much faster and also see better final results than you will definitely by dieting by yourself. {Careklub.com}To become more info, the following are some of the benefits and advantages that you'll uncover before you start using the Xtreme Shred Keto BHB weight loss supplements:

• Speedier Bodyweight Lowering

• Brought up Weight Loss

• Increased Metabolic process

• Ketogenic Assistance

• Lean Body Mass Repairs and maintenance

• Increased Vitality

• Far better Mood

• Slandering in Tough Parts

• Discharge of Unwanted fat Shops

Xtreme Shred Keto Elements

The whole label of the system is Xtreme Shred BHB Formulas, and also as you may have suspected, it possesses a material identified as BHB, short for beta-hydroxybutyrate. BHB is an exogenous ketone, and if you already know a {Careklub.com}whole lot about the keto diet plan, you likely know why an exogenous ketone can help you a lot, but if you do not there's no need to stress. We can let you know what you should acknowledge.

Ketones are an all-all natural part of your body's process of accomplishing ketosis. They are unveiled when body fat is metabolized, and once you have a very high enough concentration of which in your system, the human body takes the process of ketosis as a result. Exogenous ketones are the same as the all-all-natural kinds; nevertheless, they originate from a useful resource beyond your system, producing a dietary supplement such as this fixed.

The bottom line is that Xtreme Shred Keto HB pills help your body enter ketosis within days instead of the weeks it can normally take. And in addition, the full process goes to be added, reliable and more productive than it commonly is. {Careklub.com}This really is a total support group of people for the weight reduction routine.

How to apply Xtreme Shred BHB Capsules

We can inform you that taking this formula could not be easier to add to your day-to-day routine, although we know that some individuals assume that taking a supplement like this one is going to be some type of difficult system{Careklub.com} that is tough to stay with. Because we can understand the complication, we can offer you the Xtreme Shred Pills directions right here as well as now:

Before you start taking the supplement to make sure that you can tr4ack your progression in tim, • Break an image of yourself

• Get two Xtreme Shred Keto eating plan drugs in the morning having a cup water

• Make certain that you happen to be outstanding full of energy in addition to working out normally

• Eat keto-friendly recipes together with pleasures

• Immediately after four weeks of reliable application, review your new system into the 1 consciousness you took, and we think you will see the benefits which you see!

Xtreme Shred Keto Pills Unwanted Effects

There exists a small possibility that some individuals will certainly experience some form of side effects after they get started using a dietary supplement such as this 1. Most of these issues are not going to occur for all those personal, and in addition, they have a tendency to be modest and effortlessly managed, nonetheless they could happen, so we'll provide you with the health and safety details that you require just before ordering.

Take advantage of the Xtreme Shred Keto system only as guided. Individuals under the age of 18 need to not take this dietary supplement. Before{Careklub.com} you begin making use of the Xtreme Shred weight management pills, quit using any other dietary formula.

Stop use as well as speak with your physician right now if you do discover some type of extreme side effects when you begin making use of the supplement. Many people decide to have a talk with a medical doctor before they start using the nutritional supplement to make certain that they recognize more regarding their well-being.

Xtreme Shred Keto Expense

An increasing number of people are utilizing the keto eating plan for his or her weight management, and also the interest in superior quality nutritional supplements the same as this has in fact never been higher. Once the requirement for a specific thing climbs, the expense is generally suitable behind it. Since we don't {Careklub.com}plan to promise a Xtreme Shred value that isn't precise, we have a few other recommendations for you somewhat.

To make sure you are receiving the least expensive possible Xtreme Shred Keto expense, obtain right this moment considering the cost will simply climb with time. The most effective area to discover the recent prices info will be the formal Xtreme Shred internet site. Go there using the online backlinks on this page!

The Best Way To Acquire Xtreme Shred Keto Drugs

You desire quick weight loss outcomes. As well as, you don't plan to shell out months and perhaps many years performing exercises along with consuming healthy and balanced to view alterations inside you. We pick you up. That's why you need to browse the Established Xtreme Shred Keto BHB Slimming Pills Web page yourself. {Careklub.com}There, you can order this quick-working method and initiate accelerating your excess fat managing outcomes. If you started shedding severe pounds, think of how pleased you 'd be. Nicely, which can be your actuality once you utilize this highly effective supplement. So, don't wait, go get this before it's gone! If it's sold out, we'll position one more just as an effective keto tablet in its spot so you can still obtain your results, remember. Go now!

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