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damianwaynebutwhite · 18 days

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Ian Wayne gets a miraculous (and also somewhat ruins the world. Probably.)

This may end up ridiculously long so...

Once upon a time, there was God. Here's the problem with God- they had the impulse control of Bart Allen on crack. Wait, what?

But Bart is also going through some canon events right now with a ridiculous amount of anons so like.... maybe not.

Point is- God isn't a very good decision maker.

Considering they're, y'know, writing this shit.

Blame the devil too, if you want. Caleb, you suck. sans Undertale kinnie aaaah-

Focus on the damned story if you're going to write this shit.

Haha! Yeah! Sorry Lan please don't kill us. Hey, do you ever think about how on discord L looks like an uppercase I and thus your name looks like Ian?

...

Write the damned story.

Understood!

So once upon a time, there was this guy called Ian Wayne. And I'm sure that in DC canon he's got a backstory and lore and all kinds of other things that, y'know, make him make sense.

But considering the author found out about like like, a week or two ago? Fuck that! His lore is that he's rich. Like, really fucking rich. Like, Tony Stark + Gabriel Agreste + Bruce Wayne * infinity kinda rich.

So you get my point.

He's rich.

Why can't he be named Rich instead...?

...oh. Yeah. Sorry, Dick Grayson.

Anyway.

So one day God made a little oopsie, you see. Got a little too silly. And the Lynx miraculous fell out of the sky, hit Ian Wayne on the head, and knocked him into a different universe.

He still had his money, somehow. Because he's Ian Wayne, and he's 2rich4dat.

Ian, being rich enough to have multiple bodyguards and a force field or something like that protecting him, was understandably confused.

"Which one of you peasants," He snapped. "Was so incompetent that you would allow me to get hit?"

Luckily for the guards, they did not get hit into another dimension. ----

Back in Ian Wayne's original dimension, several armed guards started to freak out. I mean, if something flew out of the sky and whacked your boss on the head so hard he noclipped out of existence, you'd be pretty stressed too.

"Where the FUCK DID HE GO?" yelled a guard. "IS HE FINALLY DEAD?" yelled another. "YOU MORON WE'RE GOING TO GET FIRED-"

And get fired they did. WayneCorp's Firingthepoor(trademarked) flamethrower sprouted from the ground and turned all the guards into roast meat. Yum...yum...capitalism...

So unluckily for the guards, they all died. Yumyumcapitalism.

----

Back to the miraculous world of...Miraculous.

Ian Wayne did not receive a reply considering

a) his guards were all fired

b) they weren't in the same universe

c) honestly if any guard made it alongside him they would've booked it out of there by now.

"Richle, what in money's name is going on?" He snapped. Richle is like Google, but for rich people.

Richle did not reply, because Richle had no clue either.

"You! Peasant!" He yelled at the sky. "Explain this nonsense!"

God did not appreciate being referred too as a peasant and thus threw lightning at him.

"Shit."

"I'll pay your sad, miserable, pathetic student loans!" He called to the sky.

"Wait, really?" said God, who was kinda broke at the moment. "I mean, sure. Basically, according to the divine plan known as plot, you are now in a different universe! You'll learn to be a good person and finally stop being a litt-"

"You'll never get your student loans paid and you'll never even get a minimum wage job." Ian Wayne said very kindly.

God started crying.

They cried so hard the earth started to flood and some guy called Noah gathered up his animals on his boat and- what do you mean that didn't happen?

Well.

It started storming, at least.

Considering the lack of his own universe, Ian Wayne's personal umbrella carrier did not shield him from the rain.

"No!" he cried. "My ten million dollar hairstyle!"

Two background characters glanced at him, glanced at each other, and decided to keep walking.

They were holding hands. They were also both men.

"Queers?! In my vicinity?! Mods, get them!"

They did not, in fact, get them.

Chief prosecutor Miles Edgeworth and famed defence attorney Phoenix Wright resolved to never leave Japanifornia ever again for vacation.

Unless it was to Khura'in. Maybe.

Sick and tired of the universe not following his every whim, Ian Wayne finally decided to pick up the miraculous box and look inside, even if it hurt his expensive pride to touch something possibly made by poors.

The world sung joy. It sung of self-care and isolation, a mixture of leaving the world in order to find your truest self. It was the mighty Lynx, strong and solid and ready to look within itself for the answers it seeked.

To focus on the problems. To look at the issues individually. To not be distracted by the horrors of the world.

When there is nothing left in the world.

When it is nothing but you and yourself.

What do you see? What are you truly?

Pale browns with grey stripes. Brown eyes shine.

"Hello, chosen. My name is Lyyra, the kwami of isolation. Although one may perceive that to be a terrifying idea at first, isolation can-"

"An animal? How disgusting. Although I suppose a talking one may be alright for my collection." "...wh...what?" Asked the very, very, rightfully concerned kwami.

"You. Go smite those queers for me." came the order.

You know that thing about kwamis and orders?

...yeah.

But before Ian Wayne could become the next universal terror to be set upon the world, there was a small, little, burst of magic.

Anarchy! Chaos! Going against the grain. Fighting back. From across the street, the wolverine miraculous holder glanced down at xier kwami.

"...uh, Claash? The hell are you doing?"

"Oh, y'know. Nothin'."

It was not, in fact, nothing.

If you know anything about miraculous, you would know that kwamis using their powers without their holders leads to bad, terrible, results.

So what happens when the kwami of rebellion and anarchy unleashes a little bit of magic...?

Elon Musk's microchips turned against their creator and started beating the shit out of him.

The elves at the North Pole started a worker's union and went on strike.

Damian Wayne's laptop refused to show anymore Superboy/reader fanfiction, and started pulling up laptop self-care magazines. Why do those exist? Why was Damian Wayne affected when this is the wrong universe?

The wolf miraculous holder broke free from the control placed upon them by the big bad of this universe and found their twin. He then slaughtered the evil organisation, thus destroying most of the plot.

I mean, who even wanted to see the actual lore for these characters?

Hahaha...

The author is not sobbing over the fact they have so much serious lore for these characters but ended up writing Ian Wayne fanfiction. That would be insane.

...

Slade Wilson's heart gave out and died. This is because it couldn't stand being part of a creep's body anymore.

Strands of connection fell from the spider holder-kwami amalgamation. For a moment, everything was clear. No- although it had lost itself, Claash's power had reawakened the love of how things were. How the web of the world deserved to be wild and free.

It was beautiful. It was awe-inspiring. They wandered out into the world and found peace.

Lyyra, of course, was not aware of that.

They felt burning passion in their not-quite veins.

The song of rising up and fighting back.

Claash's magic was a wonderful, familiar thing.

They look at the order.

The magic that bound them to a mortal's will.

Horrid.

Disgusting.

It was a thread around their metaphorical neck. A chain.

A wolverine's claw guides their own to cut through it.

They have always been a kwami of isolation.

But even a lynx desires company.

A helping hand.

The warmth of an old friend.

The order is a cruel, biting thing.

So they move to bite back.

"No." Lyyra breathes. It feels like freedom. "No. I will not."

...what?

This was unacceptable. He was Ian Wayne, moneydamnit! The richest person in all the world- all the universe(s?)!

If anything- the world should be bowing to his whims.

If anything, these peasants should be delighted to serve someone as wonderous as him.

"What do you mean no?" He hissed. "I'm Ian Wayne! I'm rich! I'm white! I'm 2rich4dat!"

"I have known you for a grand total of one minute. In my lifespan, that is an insignificant thing. Somehow, you have already proven yourself to be one of the most miserable, entitled children I have ever met. Have your parents taught you nothing?" Lyyra liked to believe itself a patient kwami. It was, after all, isolation. Self-reflection. Somehow, this new holder had tested its limits already.

"I got my mother assassinated because she was interacting with the poors."

"...with all due respect, what is wrong with you?" The due respect is none at all.

"There's nothing wrong with me. I'm perfect." Somehow, that was said with full confidence. Complete and utter confidence. Not a single lick of shame or self awareness.

"...Tikki help us all."

NEXT CHAPTER (wip. if people even want a second chapter.)

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imzsuzsis-blog · 5 months

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Loki strokes my back in circular motions in the morning in the bathroom, I vomited again but I can take it better now, it's not because you're hysterical and I don't sneeze so much, I don't get into trouble with anyone, I've finally gotten rid of burping, I'm just joking and then I laugh at myself, I know that I cooked a good thing, it's true, not with him but with my ex Ollie, but a good and cute little girl and I'm waiting for it. "Who are you going to?" He smiled seductively at me when I turned around and started washing my face. "Yes, I will also be there at the press conference right next to Charles, who said that on a drunken night you are a piece of shit, but his girlfriend thinks it's positive, and he thinks it's negative." I tried to laugh but it didn't work, I was struggling with the serum, I never knew if I should put it on by hand or just drip it on my face. ,,What was it? You don't say exactly? Ever since Suzuka's drunken outburst, we know that Charles is not a sane boy, nor is he a hothead who thinks like that." "I know if he doesn't, he freaks out and starts crying in a weird way, but that's how he is. Fuck, it's sold out at the best time!!!!" "Are you running out?" I used up the last of my sunscreen, you could buy a new one here, but where?” I started whining again about a stupid sunscreen that I bought somewhere a month ago because it seemed better than the expensive ones sold by Sephora. "Until we find a new one, use mine, it's the same brand, it's just a sun protection factor, that's all it was." "Fuck, I ran out of primer, and a company sent me this during Covid, but I really have to buy it, because it's available here too, but it's cheaper here." I threw the plastic box in the trash and saw that Loki looked strange, I could only blink. "What you got, how can I say it, my sister-in-law, they are American and you can only get this on the internet." He came closer to me and slowly started kissing my back, which made me start, then he kissed my neck, I just blushed and looked at the needle in front of me, but before long he turned me around, I started to support the cock while he sucked my Adam's cock and excited my body with his fingers. "Loki, please, I have to go, I'm in such a fucking hurry. Aaaah!!!” I twisted my neck with closed eyes and played with Loki's lock of hair. "You'll get there, I'll just taste this delicacy." "Ahh- I understand, but..." "Let's go... I can't bear to look here, fuck you!!!!!!!"

I stood frozen, seriously, it's seven in the morning and we have to get to the track by ten. Loki enjoys sucking his cock. I closed my eyes and instead turned my head, started shaking and called the others to fuck us. ,,Where? I don't know, but I don't dare to look at it... I'm serious, what I saw is almost gay porn... I'll take good Loki's mouth off the pumpkin and bring the monkey." "Suck harder Loki, more!!!!!" "I'm going, it's too much for me. then there. Cya" My head hurts from Lando's screams, which make me moan.. he moans during his orgasm. "Milk, I'm going to have milk!!!!!!! Let's go faster Loki more!!!!!!!!! A little bit!!!!!" "I can't take it anymore, I'll shut up." I was furious when I opened it. Laughing in front of the needle guard, Lando put on make-up and laughed and recorded something on TikTok. "It's done. Oh hello, Osc… And you? Aren't you separate?" "It wasn't Lando, the team said that since there was only one race here, we would go to the track together. So I hope you will hurry and your mind won't run around your tail again." "Relax girl, I'm ready, my dress is in my suitcase, just a light on the diva's beautiful mouth and we're off."

I came out of the bathroom smiling and shaking my ass in a sexy way. "Lando, you have a whore's tattoo." "And what about my lady? I'm not a boyish gay, as you can see, I'm a girl, a real girly girl, my dear. You know it's not a topic for me." I stroked his hair Osc and saw that he was embarrassed. "Sorry, no, it wasn't intentional, we just wanted a little petting in the morning, it really wasn't a willful hetero kidnapper of my heart." "Petting?" Do you remember that he left home?” He had to get up and walk around, walked around the room, then ran out the door without saying a word. "Hmm, I really have to go, I'm sorry Loki, today's an important day, if I miss it I'll be punished." Sexily, I climbed on him for the last time and we started to kiss erotically in the armchair. "Should I ride your fucking dick like this as a farewell?" I cheekily smiled at him not only with my mouth, but also with my eyes. "Yes, it's best to go out like this today." I knew that if I was a good little girl today, I would be one too.. I stroked the back of him neck and started giggling. I've always loved the hot guy on other guys, so it will be the same now. "Loki is fighting, Loki is fighting."

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eldritch-araneae · 1 year

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So, update on my life (bc why now? I gotta write nice thing too ahah)

I'm not sure yet, if I will go through this but once I fix my depression (or make it more manageable at least?) I want to get that university degree (mainly for my own metal health so my brain will stop haunting me in my dreams about dropping out lol) and I'm really looking into linguistics.

Not only because English is a must and I'm pretty good with it (despite not remembering grammar ahah) but also the uni I'm looking into has Chinese, and you gotta study two languages. And languages are fun to learn, it's just my school sucked horribly.

(Plus it just makes sense to know English to understand west and Chinese for East hah)

I'm still not happy about additional exams in addition to entry exams, but at least the cost isn't that bad if I take distance learning ( which works better for me anyway since I better learn on my own) and I can save up for it.

I'm planning to visit this uni soon when they'll have open doors day (and take my niece with me bc she needs it too) and I will look around and ask questions about how to enroll in my situation. Good thing it's free so we can just check the place out.

Meanwhile I survived blood tests aaaah! I just hate how my body react when my blood is taken, its just freaks out badly so it's not fun for me. Now just wait for results and bring them to psychiatrist and hope I'll get meds and therapy.

I'm still gonna take commission, I also done with current clients work, so if you want a portrait, keep an eye for the announcement~

#ara talks #the eldritch spider's life

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queerfables · 5 months

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911 s3 end liveblog

3x15

Righto, Eddie Begins, you're up

Eddie is in trouble we are off to a great start :D

Oh we're doing a baby Jessica rescue, that's fun

Rough viewing though, that little kid T_T

"I should be the one to go down" "so we can end up with two cut lines?" Brutal but true Hen

I love Eddie but he really put his wife in a terrible position

That said, the way she left was terrible too

The little boy is ok T______T

Aaaah yeah, Buck's freak out over the collapse is exactly the kind of thing I'm after

Yaaaay Eddie's ok!!

3x16

"You want to do a rope rescue? Of course you go" Eddie's exasperated partner voice <3

Buck meeting this retired fire fighter is fun

Oh Buck this is not a good idea

Yeah that went badly

Awww Buckleys <3

3x17

Omg delighted by the way Buck&Eddie are being casually grouped in with other couples

Josh, sweetheart. Giving a victim impact statement about that guy would suck. You don't have to feel like a coward if you can't.

Michael and this guy in the elevator are cuuuute

Abby!! I knew she came back for an episode but I didn't know it was gonna be now!!

3x18

Hahaha omg Buck being overprotective of Christopher is so cute

I love Maddie yawning in the middle of Josh's emotional moment

Oof, rough day for Buck

Aw Josh I'm so proud of you for making that statement

I'm also glad Buck can get this closure with Abby and I'm glad he can finally be a bit angry with her and move on

I'm feeling a lot of feelings about Chimney's conflict over Hen looking into med school. Their friendship means a lot to me.

Oh no Maddie and Chimney's joy over unexpected baby T_T cute

#911 abc

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oblivious-aro · 1 year

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Friends in Strange Places Ch. 6 Pt 1

What if Vlad was good instead of evil? Link to chapter 1:

Summary: After a ghost fight, Danny and his friends hang out at The Nasty Burger and then Sam and Valerie go back to her house. Just the two of them. That won't be awkward.

Word count: 6700

--------------------------------------------------

"Catch me if you can Dipsticks!" Ember cackled as she flew past the pier.

Danny and Valerie continued after her. Sam and Tucker stopped at the edge of the dock.

"Man," Tucker crossed his arms "It sucks not being able to fly.

After about twenty meters, Ember suddenly turned and blasted a pink beam from her guitar.

Danny and Valerie split apart, the beam missing both of them.

"Give it up Ember!" Danny said, charging up two ecto blasts "You can sing all the cheap pop songs you want, there's no one around here for you to even control!"

"Wrong on two counts, Dipstick!" Ember grinned smugly "My music comes from the heart, and I've discovered a brand new kind of audience out here."

Ember raised her hand high above her head and let out a mighty strum on her guitar.

Danny and Valerie looked around. Nothing happened.

"Look down, you drips."

Below their feet the the water was shifting ominously.

One by one, over a hundred fish began to break the surface. Their heads bobbed above the water, watching the floating trio.

"Seriously?" Valerie said "Fish? That's the best you could come up with?"

"Well I can't exactly go around rounding up teenagers again, now that you recognize me." Ember said bitterly "But with these little creatures, I can sill give you a performance you're bound to remember. Now, denizens of the deep," Ember pointed at Danny and Valerie "Attack!"

On Ember's command, the fish began launching themselves at Danny and Valerie.

"Agh!" They both yelped.

The fish were too small to hurt in any significant way, but getting smacked by dozens of fish over and over again was pretty disorienting.

Valerie activated the hand shield Tucker had embedded into her glove and attempted to bat away as many of the attacking fish as she could.

Ember floated there, grinning maliciously as pink and green ecto beams sailed right past her.

"Ooh, we turning this into a rave?" she said "I dig it."

"Stupid fish!" Danny cursed as one bounced off his face "That's it! I'm going where they can't reach me!"

Danny shot up into the air.

"Nice try Dipstick," Ember turned the dial on her guitar "But I've got a song for that."

She began to rapidly pick at the strings. Many of the fish in the water began to glow blue.

"Uh, Danny-" Valerie started to say.

Before she could finish her sentence, a dozen fish shot into the air towards Danny, leaving trails of blue behind them.

"Agh!" Danny yelled as he was assaulted by the high-flying fish "Why does your guitar even have that function?"

Ember laughed as she continued to pluck away.

Valerie tried to shoot her while she was distracted, but getting repeatedly bumped by so many fish kept making her miss wildly.

"Why did I decide to pursue ghost hunting again?" she asked herself as she swung her shield at a group of fish about to hit her face.

Back on the dock, Sam and Tucker were trying to watch the fight using the zoom feature on Tucker's PDA camera.

"It looks like they're having a rave over there." Sam said.

"Are those...fish?" Tucker squinted at the screen.

A fish suddenly jumped out of the water and latched onto Tucker's ear. The fish didn't have teeth, but it still freaked Tucker out.

"Aaaah!" he yelled "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"

After some flailing, Tucker managed to grab the fish and fling it back into the water.

"Did you really have to throw it that hard Tucker?" Sam chastised.

"The fish was biting me!" Tucker threw up his arms "What did you expect me to do?"

"It wasn't the fish's fault! You could at least-"

Sam was interrupted by another fish jumping out and grabbing onto her hand. She yelped and waved her arm around wildly until the fish went sailing off of it.

"What happened to it being 'not the fish's fault'?" Tucker smirked.

"If you say another word, you're going to have a lot more to worry about than a fish bite. Hey," Sam squinted at something behind Tucker "I know that person."

Tucker turned and saw a man standing in a stationary speedboat, transfixed by what was happening out on the water.

"Arnie!" Sam called, running towards the boat. Tucker decided to follow her.

"Ms Manson?" Arnie snapped his head towards the approaching teenagers "I don't know what you're doing here, but you better skedaddle! Some of them ghost creatures from the news are duking it out over there with a Power Ranger!"

"Arnie, we need you to take us over there!" Sam said, hopping into the boat.

"What're you doing child?!" Arnie cried "It's not safe! You ought to be heading as far away from the water as you-"

"Here's fifty dollars." Sam interrupted, shoving a bill into Arnie hands "And I'll double it if you don't ask questions. They need our help out there!"

"Ummm..." Tucker and Arnie said, a matching look of concern on their faces.

"Don't worry." Sam said "I have a plan."

"This is dangerous, and I don't like it!" Arnie said as he started up the motor "But knowing you child, you'll do something even more reckless to get over there if I refuse."

"Welp, I've gone along with worse plans." Tucker said to himself, jumping into the boat just before it sped off towards the fight.

Back at the fish-fight, Valerie was attempting to back away from Ember and hopefully the fish.

Getting some distance did help, but unfortunately there were still plenty of fish willing to attack her, even this far away from Ember.

"Stupid fish!" Valerie cursed as she kicked off a few that had latched on to her board "I swear, when this is over, I'm going to buy a deep fryer and-"

"Valerie!"

Valerie turned around to see Sam and Tucker approaching in a speedboat, driven by someone she'd never met.

"Sam?" Valerie raised an eyebrow under her mask "What're you doing here? Who's that?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Hey!" Arnie said indignantly.

"Think you can you distract Ember for a minute? We're gonna try a manouevre, but it won't work if she sees us coming."

"Can do." Valerie nodded as Sam and the others zoomed off.

"Hey Blue Man reject!" Valerie called.

Ember turned and Valerie charged, firing rapidly at Ember, who easily dodged them.

As Valerie got close, Ember banged out a chord that reverberated through the air, knocking Valerie off her board.

"Aah!" Valerie screamed as she went flying into the water. Ember was floating a meter away from her when she broke the surface.

"Gutsy move Red, I'll give you that." She said "You know, I like you. And that outfit's pretty rockin'. Any chance you wanna ditch ghost-boy and team up with someone who's actually going somewhere?"

"Not a chance you-you flamey freak!" It was hard to think of insults while trying to not drown.

"Aw well, your loss."

Valerie braced herself as Ember raised her hand.

"Hey Ember!"

Ember turned to the sound of Tucker's voice only to get drenched by the wake of Arnie's turning speedboat.

"Cowabunga." Tucker finished.

The dripping Ember hovered above the water completely shell shocked. Her makeup was runny and her fiery ponytail had vanished, put out by the water.

"Do you losers have any idea how much it'll cost if my guitar has water damage!" she screeched.

"Yeah, yeah, bill me from the Ghost Zone." Sam shrugged as Tucker pulled out The Fenton Thermos and sucked up the powerless Ember.

"Turns out there's a downside to hanging around water when you're a fire-based ghost." Tucker pulled the pair of Fenton Phones out of his ears "Thank goodness I can take out these ugly things."

Valerie's hoverboard zoomed to a stop beside her, hovering a few centimeters above the water. Valerie reached out and pulled herself up onto it.

"You good down there?" Danny asked, flying down to check on Valerie.

"I'm good." she said, standing up on her board "Wanna hear something neat? Turns out my suit is watertight."

"Ha, nice! Mine is too, actually. Except for the face part." Danny pulled off a fish that was still latched on to his boot "She's gone, you can go home." he said as he dropped the fish back into the water "Sheesh. Those little guys have a lot more determination than you'd expect."

Danny turned to look at Arnie.

"Hey uh, thanks...whoever you are."

Arnie didn't respond. He just gaped at Danny and Valerie for a very awkward fifteen seconds. Then he turned to Sam.

"Ms Manson," he said "You're gonna have to triple your initial offer to keep me quiet."

"Extorting me because I'm not really in a position to say 'no'? Low, but understandable."

"No, it's to cover the cost of a facial and massage at The Amity All-Day Spa. After what I've just been through, I need the relaxation desperately!"

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Arnie wasn't the only one who needed to decompress. The four of them decided to stop by The Nasty Burger before heading home.

They all let out a collective shudder when they saw the poster advertising the new fish burger special.

"So that's two Nasty Combos with diet cola, one of the fries upsized, and a Nasty Alternative Substance Patty with a diet ginger ale. Is that everything?" the cashier asked.

There was a moment of silence before Sam turned to Valerie.

"You gonna order anything?" she asked.

"Nah, I'm pretty strapped for cash right now. Between homework and ghost fighting, I don't exactly have time for a job."

"Order whatever you want." Sam said "It's on me."

Danny and Tucker wordlessly glanced at each other.

"Thanks, but I'd feel bad taking money from you." Valerie said "I know none of you three have time for jobs either."

"It's on my parent's tab." Sam clarified "And they're loaded, so you absolutely should not feel bad."

"Well in that case I'll take one of everything." Valerie grinned. Her expression quickly dropped "Uh, kidding, just kidding. I would take a Nasty Combo with diet iced tea if you're offering, though."

"You honestly could order the whole menu for all I care." Sam shrugged as she paid for their order.

"We can?" Tucker asked. Danny elbowed him.

"Sam and her parents don't really get along." Danny explained to Valerie as they sat down at a booth.

"If by 'don't get along' you mean they're overly controlling self-centered snobs with an incredibly narrow mindset they refuse to even try to broaden, then yes, we don't get along."

Nobody was really sure what to say to that.

"Ugh, don't look now." Sam suddenly cringed "Intense make out session happening at three o'clock. Actually, you can probably look, I don't think they'd notice if a meteor hit this place."

Danny, Tucker, and Valerie looked at the table next to them.

A girl with red hair and a boy with a beanie had moved their chairs right next to each other and were kissing. It was, as Sam put it, intense.

"Oh wow, they're...uh...pretty into it, huh?" Danny said.

"I'm jealous." Tucker grumbled "Being single sucks."

"It's not that bad." Sam rolled her eyes.

"You saying you wouldn't swap places with her if you could, Sam?"

Sam made a face like Tucker had just suggested she eat cat vomit.

"He's okay, I guess." Valerie shrugged. She looked down at spot on the table as she spoke "I wouldn't mind swapping places with him, though. The redhead's pretty cute."

"Oh," Danny said, turning to Valerie "So, like you're into girls? That's cool." He gave her a friendly smile.

"Yeah I'm...I'm actually bi." Valereie smiled back.

"Really?!" Tucker whipped around to face her. "That's awesome! Did you just figure that out recently, or-"

Sam kicked Tucker under the table.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Cool it with the estions-quay." she hissed.

"Nah, it's cool." Valerie waved her hand.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I've known for a while. Saw Brandy as Cinderella on TV when I was seven and something clicked. Paolo Montalban wasn't too bad as the prince either."

"Really?" Danny said "I had a crush on that Cinderlla when I was eight, actually. Can't speak for Montalban, though."

"No way!" Valerie smiled "I literally begged my dad to buy the VHS, I had it sooo bad for those two."

"That's so cool!" Tucker was beaming.

"Ha ha, yeah. I've actually still got that tape stashed in my dresser drawer. A lot of sentimental value there." Valerie looked back down at the table. "It's...actually kind of nice to tell someone."

"Wait," Sam raised her eyebrows "Are we the first people you've told?"

"Pretty much. My dad would probably be cool with it, it's just kind of awkward because you know, he's my dad. And we didn't really talk about this kind of stuff in my...old friend group."

"LGBT+ stuff?"

"Personal stuff."

"Kind of seems like that defeats the point of having frien- Ow!"

This time Tucker kicked Sam.

"Eh, you're not wrong." Valerie said. "I mean, I guess we did share stuff sometimes, just nothing too deep. You know how it is in Amity Park, especially at Casper. People aren't like, outright homophobic if they find out you're gay or whatever, they just..."

"Get kind of weird when you talk about it?" Danny finished.

"Yeah."

"Order number twelve!" Someone called up front.

"That's us." Danny said "I'll go grab them."

"I'll help." Sam stood up and followed Danny.

No one said much after Danny and Sam returned with the food. Ghost fighting was hungry work.

"Welp, I better get going soon." Danny said after they'd all finished eating "I want to get my homework out of the way in case some ghost raccoons decided to go through our trash later or something."

"Smart plan." Sam nodded "Tucker and I were going to go back to my place to do some training."

"Sounds terrible." Danny smirked.

"Yeah, we don't all have supernaturally enhaned abilities." Sam elbowed Danny "Some of us have to work for our brawn."

"I mean, if you want to try frying yourself with who knows how many volts of pure ecto energy, go ahead." Danny rubbed his arm.

A thoughtful look crossed Sam's face.

"Oh, and you also have to regularly clean my parents' lab."

"You know what, I think I'll stick to building muscle the old fashioned way." Sam said, flexing her arm. "Ecto stains do not come out without a fight. Even in black clothes."

"Sam's got her own private home gym." Tucker told Valerie "It's decked out with everything. Treadmills, weights, ellipticals, those gymnastic ring thingies, you name it."

"Nice." Valerie said "I mostly just fly around the park and set up old soup cans to shoot out of trees. And curl some dumbells I found in a closet. I mean sure, we couldn't keep vanity, but we kept the box of weights my dad hasn't touched in a decade." Valerie sighed and rested her chin on her hand "I suppose I should be thankful, though. At least that gives me something to strength train with."

Sam seemed to think carefully before speaking.

"You...could come too, if you want to Valerie. To train, I mean."

"Really?" Valerie said.

"Sure." Sam shrugged "If you're going to be regularly fighting ghosts with us, then you should be in the best shape you can be."

"Yeah, I definitely noticed ghost fights were a lot less strenuous after Sam and I started working out regularly." Tucker said "I'm honestly surprised the first few attacks didn't kill me. Running from ghosts is hard work. And the more work-out buddies you have, the funner it is! Right Sam?"

"Sure." Sam smirked "Maybe Valerie'll actually be able to keep up with me on the treadmill."

"Hey!" Tucker said "It's not my fault you cheat!"

"Tucker, I've been running on that things regularly for years. That's not 'cheating'."

"I'd call a multi-year headstart cheating." Tucker said indignantly.

He suddenly frowned.

"Aw dang, I forgot, it's Cleaning Day at my house."

"Cleaning day?" Valerie raised an eyebrow.

"It sounds fake, but it's very real." Danny said grimly. "They do it every month. I'm not allowed to come over Tucker's on Foley Cleaning Day."

"You don't escape Foley Cleaning Day." Tucker confirmed "My folks are usually very nice and normal people, but if I'm not home in fifteen minutes, they might actually kill me.

"Oh wow, your parents really go hard for cleaning, huh?" Valerie glanced awkwardly at Sam "Well, I guess we can train together another time or whatever."

"What? No, it's fine. We can work out, just the two of us." Sam's face fell a little as if she only just realized what exactly she was signing up for.

"Oh, okay." Valerie seemed genuinly surprised that Sam hadn't cancelled. "Yeah, sure. That'd be...cool."

"Yup." Sam said "Totally cool."

Tucker and Danny watched the awkward exchange, completely unsure what to do.

"Welp," Danny stood up quickly "I'd better get going."

Everyone else stood up and followed him out of the booth. Both groups split up once they were outside The Nasty Burger, Sam and Valerie heading to Sam's house, and Danny and Tucker heading to their own homes.

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"They'll...be okay. Right?" Danny said after he and Tucker had been walking for a bit.

"Sam and Valerie?" Tucker raised an eyebrow at Danny "Why wouldn't they be?"

"I don't think Sam's exactly Valerie's biggest fan."

"Aw, come on Danny. That was just one particular...incident that they talked out. Sure, they might not be BFFs or anything, but they've gotten along fine in ghost fights and stuff since then."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Danny said.

"Besides, if Sam had a problem hanging out with Valerie alone, you know she would not hesitate to say so."

"That is very true." Danny laughed.

"Uh, speaking of Valerie though..."

"What's up with Valerie?"

"Nothing's up with her, I was...kind of thinking about asking her out."

"Really?" Danny smiled "Well good. it's about time! I mean, you've liked her for-"

"Alright, alright, knock it off!"

Danny frowned.

"What's the matter with you?"

"What? A guy can't request that people don't tease him about his love life?"

"It's not that, Tuck. You just don't usually mind teasing this much."

"I'm just kind of nervous about it. Asking Valerie out, I mean."

"What? But you've asked out tons of girls. This technically isn't even the first time you've asked Valerie out."

"This is different."

"How?"

Tucker adjusted his back pack straps.

"Because I'd actually care if she turned me down."

"Oh."

There was a brief pause while Danny processed what Tucker had said.

"So you like, actually like-like her, huh?"

"Yeah, Valerie's really cool. And a good friend. Like, when I asked all those girls out to the dance, I just wanted a date, you know? I mean, it wouldn't be the end of the world or anything if she did say 'no', but it would hit a little harder than getting rejected by a girl I barely know."

"Yeah, that's definitely understandable."

They walked in silence for a few seconds.

"Hey, would you mind not mentioning any of this to Sam?" Tucker asked.

"Sam already knows you have a crush on Valerie, you're kind of super obvious dude."

"No, I mean don't tell her I'm asking Valerie out. I'm nervous enough as it is. I don't need Sam making fun of me."

"She wouldn't make fun of you for this."

"She's been teasing me about Valerie since day one."

"Okay true, but if she knew how important this was to you I'm sure she wouldn't."

"Maybe, but I still don't want to tell her just yet, okay?"

Danny frowned.

"You want to keep this a secret from Sam?"

"Just until after I actually ask Valerie out." Tucker said "And then I'll tell Sam. And I will ask her out soon."

Sam was one of Tucker's best friends. The fact that he wanted to keep something like this from her didn't sit well with Danny, even if it was just for a tiny bit.

"Okay, what's up with you two?"

"What do you mean?"

"It feels like you've been at each other's throats for months. And it's beyond friendly banter. I don't know what's going on, but it feels like something happened between you two that you refuse to talk about."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, dude." Tucker said.

Danny wasn't satisfied, but they had arrived at his house, and Danny knew Tucker needed to be home soon. He'd just have to interrogate him another day.

"If you say so." Danny relented "But maybe consider talking to Sam if there's something you're not telling me. Anyway, this is my stop. See you tomorow. Have fun cleaning." Danny started up the steps.

"You know I won't."

"And good luck with Valerie!" Danny called.

Tucker let out a strangled noise as Danny shut the door behind him.

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The walk back to Sam's house was painfully silent.

Despite her initial (admittedly hostile) reaction to Valerie, the two of them had gotten along just fine with each other the past few weeks.

Not great, not bad, just fine.

Outside of ghost fights, Sam and Valerie barely said a word to each other. Not maliciously, it was more that neither of them could really figure out what to say to the other.

They worked together well enough in combat, but Sam found there was an awkwardness between them that wasn't there with Danny or Tucker.

An awkwardness that was definitely here now.

"Welp, this is my place." Sam said, not looking to see Valerie's reaction. Since her dad worked security for the Mansons, Valerie already knew Sam's family was rich, but Sam still couldn't help feeling a little self-conscious.

"Not bad." Valerie said as she looked over the giant house.

The Manson's house brought up some mixed feelings in Valerie. Not too long ago, she'd been living in a house that size. Now she and her dad lived in an apartment and had to share a bathroom.

That being said, Valerie was thankful that her dad had found a better apartment for them after he'd gotten a decent job. And this one was a lot closer to Valerie's school.

But still, she missed the home she grew up in.

Sam led Valerie inside and down a set of stairs to the basement gym.

Valerie looked around, clearly impressed. The space was as decked out as Tucker had said. The Manson's home gym might have been mistaken for a public gym, if it wasn't for the fact that the equipment was only set up for one or two people to use at a time.

Sam took Valerie around the space and gave her the basic rundown. Valerie actually seemed to already have some familiarity with fitness equipment, and once the tour was done she went to inspect the rack of weighted plates.

Sam took a breath. She figured she should at least try to start up some kind of friendly conversation with Valerie. Just to try to break the ice.

"Hey uh, nice job out there today." Sam said "Ember doesn't com around a lot, but she's a pretty tough ghost. You did good." Sam hoped she didn't sound as awkward as she felt.

"Thanks. You too. Hey, how'd you know that guy with the boat?"

"Arnie? My grandma plays cards with him sometimes."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Sam wanted to keep talking, but she didn't know what to say next. What should she talk about? Sam barely knew anything about Valerie. What was she even interested in outside of ghost hunting?

The silence had been stretching on too long and Sam's scrambled brain landed on the thing she'd most recently learned about Valerie.

"So," Sam said "Back at The Nasty Burger. That was cool. When you told us you were bi, I mean."

"Yeah?" Valerie's tone was hard to read.

Maybe that had been a bad topic choice. Where was Sam supposed to go with that?

A lightbulb went off in Sam's head; she could tell Valerie she was aromantic! This was perfect! An exchange of similar information to establish mutual trust and connection.

"I find that kind of funny since-"

"What? Why?" Valerie's face hardened and she gripped the ten-kilogram disc in front of her like a shield.

Sam realized with horror the way Valerie thought she might've been about to end that sentence.

Operation improve-tense-relationship-with-Valerie was going just fantastic.

"I just meant that I kind of run on the opposite end of the spectrum." Sam said.

"What'd you mean?" Valerie asked.

"I'm like reverse bi. I don't like anybody." Sam internally facepalmed. 'Reverse bi'? Did she just seriously say that?

"Well, that's not exactly shocking."

"I meant romantically." It took all of Sam's willpower to avoid tacking 'you idiot' onto the end of that sentence.

Maybe she should just go back to being enemies with Valerie. It would be a lot easier (and a lot less painful) than her attempt at friendship so far.

"Like you're aromantic? That would be pretty on-brand for you." Valerie grinned.

Sam felt her heart stop.

"Wait, you know what aromantisism is?"

"Yeah, I was on a bi forum and someone mentioned it."

"Okay, that's really cool," Sam smiled "But why was someone talking about aromantisism on a bi forum?"

"I think the poster was both. Like, they were aromantic and bi."

"You can be both?"

"Yeah. I guess there's actually, like, a couple different kinds of attractions, so some people are more than one thing. That was a pretty neat rabbit hole I got sucked into."

"Huh. Didn't know that. That's interesting. Are you more than one thing?"

"Nah. It was just neat to read about. You?"

Sam considered this.

"Nah. Just aromantic feels pretty right."

"Rad. Recent discovery for you?"

"Yeah. Just figured it out on that trip we took last weekend. Had a weird conversation that made some things clear."

"Heh, been there."

"With the bi thing?"

"Hm? Oh, nah, I figured that one out pretty early on, so it's always felt...normal, I guess. But recently I have been thinking about some other things, and...well, I'm not really sure, but I think I might be demi."

"What's that?"

"I don't think I can really like someone in a romantic way if I'm not close with them first. Like, they have to be a friend first."

"Really?" Sam raised an eyebrow "But I've seen you go to a few dances with people you don't really hang out with, and didn't you say you had a crush on Cinderella? Cuz I feel like you weren't personal friends with Brandy Norwood as a kid."

"Well, it's...I don't really know how to explain it, but crushes with fictional characters are...different."

"Huh. Okay."

"But that wouldn't make me less demi!"

"Oh, yeah, no, for sure." Sam said earnestly.

Valerie paused, taken aback by the lack of challenge from Sam.

"...So that makes sense to you?"

"Not really, if I'm being honest." Sam shrugged "But in my experience, the way you feel doesn't have to make sense. It just...is."

"Huh." Valerie said "That's pretty deep."

"Read that on a forum I found the other day." Sam said "So, did you like Kwan? I remember you two were going to go to the last dance together before- well, you know." Kwan had ditched Valerie at the last second and she'd ended up going with Tucker as a last resort. "To be honest, the whole going-to-the-dance with someone always confused me. I never got why it was such a big deal to go alone."

"I mean, going to the dance with someone is more about status. You don't really need to like your date, you just need to prove you're desirable. I may have been willing to go to a dance with Kwan, but I definitely don't like him that way. He's kind of nice, but he's also a total idiot who just goes along with what people tell him to do."

"I despise people like that." Sam glowered.

"But I did have to go with someone, and he asked me, and we were both part of the popular crowd, so you know. I mean, going with someone unpopular was preferable to going alone, but it's better to go with someone popular and not risk being too associated with the socially undesirable."

"This is legitimately how you thought about things?" Sam rubbed her temples "I'm getting tired just listening to you. Uh, no offense."

"None taken. Honestly, you're not wrong. It's actually a huge relief to not be caught in that mindset anymore. Turns out the only other people who really cared in the first place were the other popular kids. Ironically, it was the people I called my friends who were enforcing the idea that I constantly needed to keep up that 'socially acceptable' image. And I never considered how messed up that was for even a second!"

Valerie's knuckles turned white. She noticed this and put the plate she was clutching back on the rack.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get into all that."

"What? No, it's fine. Paulina and her crew are vultures. I totally understand."

"Do you? Cuz Like, no offence, but you three never seemed to be bothered by this stuff. Especially not you. You just say and do whatever you want and you don't care what people think about you. I wish I was more like you."

"You...do?" Sam was genuinely surprised to hear that. She never thought she'd hear anyone say that, least of all Valerie Gray.

"Yeah. You never hold back so people will like you. If I was more like you, maybe I wouldn't have wasted so much time with all that 'popular kid' nonsense. Hunting ghosts with you three and keeping Amity Park safe is the most fulfilled I've ever felt in my life. If I hadn't spent so much time caught up in my own self importance, I could've found people I actually trusted way sooner, and it makes me so angry that I didn't. I mean, it wasn't like my life was terrible or anything. My dad's great and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy all the shopping sprees and tennis lessons, but I could've been a much better person so much earlier and I wasn't. I hate that. I hate that it took almost dying and losing everything for me to start caring about things that actually mattered."

Sam was stunned by how raw Valerie's words were. She had always seemed so self-assured. In Sam's mind, Valerie in a way seemed above such angst.

Of course now Sam realized that was kind of ridiculous. Valerie, however well she carried herself, was still human, and just as susceptible to human fear and doubt as anyone else.

"Well...you're here now." Sam said "So that's gotta count for something."

"But I could've- should've gotten 'here' earlier. I mean," Valerie gestured around the room "You were raised with the same financial status as me, and you didn't turn out to be a total self-absorbed snob."

"I mean, I'm not perfect either, I can be kind of self-absorbed sometimes." Sam scratched the back of her head "And honestly...sometimes I think the only reason I do a lot of the 'good' things I do is just because I to end up being like my parents."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I spent years watching them putting on fancy outfits and fake smiles and bending over backwards just so the right people would like them. And not even for anything. There was no goal or greater purpose for their stupid charade. They wasted so much time nitpicking their appearances just to be whatever the adult version of 'the popular kids' is. And I was just an accessory to only let me wear these awful frilly pink dresses, and they'd always laugh at me whenever I brought up certain serious things they didn't want to think about. They were always trying to force me into this stupid mould just to impress some idiots who didn't even care about us. My mom actually tried to bleach my hair when I was seven."

"Oh." Valerie's eyes widened in horror "That's...really messed up."

Sam felt herself shaking a little.

She didn't often talk about this stuff in detail, even to Danny and Tucker. She wasn't sure they'd really get it. They thought it was cool that Sam was rich and could just 'buy whatever she wanted'. Sure, there were definitely perks to her life, but Sam often wondered if it was worth the annoyances she had to put up with everyday.

Sure, she'd learned how to deal with her parents constant criticisms and occasional yelling, and she'd gotten pretty good at fighting back and channeling her anger into productivity as she'd gotten older, but even after all this time her parents' behaviour still wore at her.

So once Sam had started talking, she found it difficult to stop. To her surprise, Valerie did actually seem understanding towards Sam's situation, but Sam wasn't sure how she felt exposing this much of herself to someone she didn't know that well.

Sure, she'd wanted to get to know Valerie better, but this was a bit too much at once.

Sam needed to lighten things up a little.

"It's actually a funny story." she continued "That incident's actually why my mom started wearing gloves. I fought her with all the ferocity a seven-year-old could, and ended up biting her wrist so it left a mark for a week."

Sam laughed as she finished her story. Valerie laughed too, but it was stilted.

Maybe that story wasn't as funny as Sam had always thought...

"It wasn't a total sob story," Sam hurriedly switched topics "I had my grandma. She was always nice. And really funny. She always made faces behind my parents back when they were ranting at me, and she let me try her champagne at one of the stupid galas my parents forced me to go to. It was pretty gross." Sam smiled at the memory "Lots of kids with bad parents don't have someone like her in their lives, so I really could've had it a lot worse. Not to mention how handy it is to be able to finance some of our ghost hunting endeavours."

"Still though..." Valerie said.

Sam frowned. The amount of pity in Valerie's voice made her feel weird. Yeah, her childhood had been kind of rough, but it wasn't that rough...

She wasn't sure how she felt about Valerie's reaction. Or about sharing so much with Valerie in the first place. Or about what Valerie had shared with her.

They'd covered a lot of ground in such a short conversation. It had felt kind of good, and Sam had managed to ease some of the tension between her and Valerie, but now she was feeling pretty drained emotionally. She needed a break from deep conversation.

"So yeah, I learned very early on that all that pomp and ceremony was pointless, and there was no point in torturing yourself for approval that isn't real love anyway." Sam quickly summarized "Anyway, I'm gonna work on some pull-up exercises. You end up having to do so much more climbing than you'd expect when ghost hunting. Well, those of us that can't fly, anyway. Be careful if you're gonna use the barbell. It's easy to overdo it."

"Yeah, don't worry. This isn't my first rodeo."

"Good." Sam nodded as she headed to the pull-up bar.

The two of them spent the next hour exercising in near silence.

Sam watched Valerie pick out some weights for the barbell while she held herself up on the pull-up bar.

She hadn't meant for things to go that deep, and she had a feeling Valerie neither did Valerie.

A few months ago Sam had written Valerie off as another one of Paulina's airhead friends, and now here they were baring their souls to each other.

And it had been so effortless.

She'd only known Valerie for a short time, but she'd just gone full force into subjects she barely touched with Danny or Tucker.

Valerie was so different from them. Maybe that was it. She understood what feeling pressured to keep up appearances was like. Danny had never had the option with his parents' reputation following him everywhere, and Tucker had no qualms hanging out with the nerds, openly carrying his PDA everywhere, and constantly quoting Star Trek. He was a full blown geek and he never seemed to feel the need to try and hide it.

Sam didn't either, but they didn't know what it was like having a constant presence in your life trying to force you to be something you're not.

And she'd had no idea it'd feel this way to have someone understand what that was like.

Sam was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't notice Valerie was finishing up putting her weights away.

"Whew!" Valerie wiped her forehead with her arm "That was way better than my dad's old hand weights! I should probably get going now, though. Thanks for having me."

"Sure." Sam dropped down from the bar "Hey, feel free to drop by anytime. Seriously, even if I'm not around you can still use the gym."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Ghost hunters gotta keep in shape. The same invitation's open to Tucker, but he never uses it. Don't know why. Personally, I love burning off steam down here."

"I'll...keep that in mind." Valerie smiled "Thanks."

"No problem. You, uh, need me to show you the way out?"

"Nah, I'm good. I remember." Valerie said, grabbing her backpack. She stopped at the foot of the stairs. "Your gym's pretty cool. And...I enjoyed our conversation. Earlier."

"Yeah," Sam scratched the back of her head "Me too."

Valerie smiled.

"Well, see you later Sam." she said as she headed up the stairs.

Sam waited until she was sure Valerie was gone. Once she couldn't hear her footsteps anymore, Sam flopped down on the weight bench and let out a breath.

Truthfully, she was a little relieved Valerie was finally gone, but some part of her was looking forward to hanging out with Valerie in the future.

"It's progress, I suppose." Sam said to the empty room.

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Valerie wasn't sure how to feel about what had just happened.

She'd assumed Sam had only invited her to her gym to be polite. It genuinely surprised her when Sam had actually agreed to hang out with her alone. It wasn't like she thought Sam hated her, or vice versa. They got along just fine in ghost fights, but Valerie had gotten the impression Sam didn't exactly want to be BFFs from their...tumultuous first meeting.

But Valerie had somehow ended ended up spilling her guts to Sam, and Sam had done the same. That was truly shocking.

Then again, Valerie had kind of done the same with Tucker and Danny on separate occasions. Valerie wasn't the kind of person to hold her tongue, but she hadn't really shared such deep parts of herself with her old friends. And yet she did so so easily with those three.

It was a little scary how open she found herself being with her new friends.

Were they friends?

Sure they fought ghosts together, and they always invited her to hang out with them afterwards, but Valerie had been pretty sure that the A-listers were her friends, and they-

Valerie shook her head.

No, her new friends weren't anything like her old 'friends'. She felt comfortable with Tucker, Danny, and even Sam in a way she never had with Dash, Paulina, and any of the others.

It was a good thing that she could open up to Danny, Tucker, and Sam, she told herself. That meant her relationship with them was better than the A-Listers.

Strange and different, but better.

"Hey Dad!" Valerie called as she opened their apartment door "I'm home!"

"Hey Sweetheart!" her Dad "Did you have fun with your friends?"

"Yeah." She said "I did. We hung out by the wharf for a while and then went to The Nasty Burger."

"The wharf? Heh, you teenagers sure like hanging out in the strangest of places."

"It's nice." Valerie said defensively "It's...you know...peaceful. Anyway, how was work?"

#danny phantom #dp #danny phantom fanfic #dp fanfic #friends in strange places #fisp #my writing #my fanfic

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sunnys567 · 1 year

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Friends in strange Places Ch. 6 Pt 1

What if Vlad was good instead of evil? Link to chapter 1:

Summary: After a ghost fight, Danny and his friends hang out at The Nasty Burger and then Sam and Valerie go back to her house. Just the two of them. That won't be awkward.

Word count: 6700

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"Catch me if you can Dipsticks!" Ember cackled as she flew past the pier.

Danny and Valerie continued after her. Sam and Tucker stopped at the edge of the dock.

"Man," Tucker crossed his arms "It sucks not being able to fly.

After about twenty meters, Ember suddenly turned and blasted a pink beam from her guitar.

Danny and Valerie split apart, the beam missing both of them.

"Give it up Ember!" Danny said, charging up two ecto blasts "You can sing all the cheap pop songs you want, there's no one around here for you to even control!"

"Wrong on two counts, Dipstick!" Ember grinned smugly "My music comes from the heart, and I've discovered a brand new kind of audience out here."

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