#it helps me get in the zone of how to write them bc they are complex and they are stunted and they do have issues w each other

[bluegarners]

i guess the key, in my opinion, to writing a young dick grayson and bruce interaction is to make them gut-wrenchingly sincere. that's what gets me in fics, is the sincerity in their interactions, their every word. they have banter, and they have arguments, and they don't always say the right things to each other, but, to me, a well written dick and bruce interaction is one that is so tooth-rottingly sincere that it sticks out from all the chaos going around them. it is a beacon in the dark. they are each other's light, hope, and heart, wrapped up into one person. if they can't be sincere with each other, what is even the point?

[erensonly]

thinking about sweet data analyst!reader being quiet as a mouse always scaring the boys. scares them so much they think abt getting her a bell. lets get into some backstory bc this may be a mini series 😈

contains: extreme fluff, ooc writing, love is used as a pet name, no pronouns used, references to DV pls read at your own discretion.

you were the new data analyst for the 141. before, you only worked with Kate, gathering and analyzing data for her but she thought you would be so much more helpful to the task force since their old analyst had retired. you were hesitant at first, not really wanting to be around a group of men. why should you leave your comfort zone?

this did not work with laswell. she had taken you in after you stumbled to the gates of the base, attempting to stop crying to give them an explanation and sporting bruises on your face and hands. luckily she had been there to meet with john when she had heard the guards complaining about a crying woman refusing to leave. she had helped you in more than one way. even allowing you to stay with her until you could find a job and move by yourself.

when she had found out you knew your way around computers, her face lit up like a christmas tree, telling you she had the perfect job for you. you were hesitant to take the job, knowing the work she did involved the military, you didn't know if you wanted to take the job. you had tried to convince her that it was fine, but once laswell has her mind made up, that's it.

thats how you ended up here, wanting oreos. you didn't mean to scare them at first. they were a little scary and you wanted nothing to do with them at first.

you just wanted the oreos but ghost was in the way, facing the opposite way with his head in his phone. you stood there awkwardly at first,not wanting to ask the big man to move but you really wanted those cookies. you stand there for a bit debating if you'll wait for him to leave the room or grow some balls and just ask him to move. you decided on doing neither.

you made your way towards him as quickly as you could; the plan was to just reach up and grab the chocolate cookies so you could go back to your desk before ghost could say anything. trying to get closer to the cabinet, you find yourself pushed up against the counter, a large hand wrapped around your wrist. when he realized it was you, he let you go with a big sigh. "scared the shit out of me. when did you get in here?"

"uh.. not too long ago." that was all you could muster, the man was too intimidating. you awkwardly shuffled towards the cabinet with the cookies and reached up to get them. mission accomplished, you thought to yourself. slithering back to your desk, you leave ghost stunned and only able to mutter a quick "bloody hell" before going back to his phone.

----

the next time you interact with the 141 outside of working it's with gaz. from the small conversations you had, he seemed very nice with a kind smile and calming aura. this time you were trying to make your way to price's office to give him a manila folder with the information he requested. you had walked to the door but heard talking, maybe he was busy. you decided that you would wait to give him the folder so you wouldn't have to speak to whoever was in the office.

it felt like time was going so slow and by the time the person had walked out, you were leaning against the corner of the wall, head against the wall in a way that you had have to almost round the corner to be able to see you. you looked up, and the man look like he just had a heart attack. clutching his chest like he was clutching his pearls and purse and breathing heavily. "Jesus, love,gotta say something. have you been waiting out here long? you could've just came in, y'know?" all the questions were becoming overwhelming when you just gripped his lips to silence him.

it took his look of surprise and a bit of thought to realize what you did. you had just grabbed the lips of a soldier. not just any soldier but a heavily decorated soldier who was apart of The john price's task force. he could kill you faster than you can say you're sorry. "oh my god, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to, you just kept talking and i didnt know what to do. please don't kill me." you had finished your mini rant only to see him doubled over in laughter. he was in tears.

"did you just silence me?" he asked between laughs. you didn't understand what the hell was funny, this man is going to kill you. while he was still laughing and trying to get soap on the phone, you tiptoed into price's office to give him the folder, telling him that if he found you dead on base it was gaz before scurrying out of his office. john was left looking confused because he had just heard kyle laughing a few seconds ago.

----

next was soap. sweet, sweet soap. he genuinely did his best to welcome you into their group, but you didn't really seem interested. he eventually just took any interaction you two had and replayed it in his head over and over again. you were just so sweet, how could he not? you still got lost on base sometimes since everything was one monotone grey and everything looked the same. and it was just your luck that the only people around were new recruits and other people you never spoke to. turning, you see soap heading toward the mess hall.

when you sped up to catch him, he's surprised. he even did that cartoon cat jump they do before running off. he started saying something in a language you don't understand when you cut him off. "not sure what you're saying but i agree. anyway, where's the gym? i need to ask ghost a question." he was shocked to see you turn around and wait for him to lead the way. he couldn't help the smile that came across his face. such a hasty girl; you always said everything you needed to say as fast as you could before turning away, giving him a look at allat movement back there.

he laughed again before helping you find ghost. and you still don't get why these men find you so funny. there is nothing funny about them being so scary.

----

lastly, we got my husband john. he was made aware of your situation and why you acted the way you did before you started working under him. he couldn't help but think you were a sweet, hard working little thing. never with much to say, and so skittish. he may have told you that he doesn't know how to access the files on his computer just so he can see you come to his office with a folder. is it a crime to want to see such a sweet face?

john had told you he would like to see you after debriefing and that he would just let you know. but you had already finished your work of the day an you spent your free time playing whatever games you could access on your computer. you eventually started to feel restless so you decided to sit in price's office until he got there. there was a couch in a corner of the room, worn but comfortable. you could imagine the boys laying on the couch talking mindlessly to john.

you had sunken into the corner of the couch, curling up in a way that you would have to step completely into the office to see you sitting there. it had been a good 10 minutes of sitting in silence before you heard footsteps approaching the door. you couldn't hear exactly what was being said, but it sounded like john was on the phone. he, not long after, walked into the room, holding his phone between his shoulder and ear with a stack of folders in his hands.

"-exactly. yeah i'll be on it right away. bye." and as he's turning around, you're sitting up straighter and he yells. and i mean one of those old people, "help i've fallen" type of yelps; and he drops his files on the floor. you just give him a blank stare.

"good God. when did you get in here?" you just shrug, brushing over the question. "what was it that you needed from me sir?" that's when he knew, you were going to be the death of the 141. literally.

[aezuria]

hiii i love ur writing sm!! i was wondering if u would do leo valdez x reader headcanons? ty!!!

*ੈ✎ keep your head still, i'll be your thrill

—all the small things, blink-182

content: leo valdez x reader

warnings: cursing again

librarian's annotations: the title has no connection to the hcs but it came up while i was writing this also IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER 🙏🙏🙏

super clingy i do not make the rules

oh you thought you were gonna get up and be productive?? not today!

fuck everyone else tbh

LOVEEES gossip sessions with u

hes so invested in all the drama u have

probably laying on his stomach and swinging his feet and gasping incredulously. "what!? no she did not..."

got very pouty that you did not invite him to the girls night bc he didnt want to "miss out on the tea" (lwk stealing from my own work oops)

who can blame him tbh

LOVE LOVES DANCING

loves teaching u too (even if u suck)

like imagine him holding your waist and moving you to the beat as you fumble along, his chest pressed up against your own

GOOD LORD

"forward, back, left- there you go," he murmured into your ear, looking down at your feet. you stepped on his shoes a lot more than you should've; did he ever think that his proximity was why you were messing up!?

"you suck at this, don't you?" he laughed, but twirled you around anyway.

"did you ever think you're just a shit teacher?"

"rude!"

also this man was born a star

can probably hit super high notes as if its nothing

ok so we all know how hes a genius right

oh my GOD imagine him explaining how his stuff works and using words you're sure don't even exist and he's so into it and he just sounds so SMART

intelligence is so attractive why does no one talk abt that

you wanted to watch him work on the engine, so you pulled up a stool next to him. you stared at his side, his tank top dirty with grease and sticky with sweat. how long had he been working since you got here?

you'd get mad at him for not taking a break later. right now? you were admiring the view. who wouldn't?

"hey leo?"

he hummed in response, still hyper-focused on the engine.

"how does all that work, exactly?" you were never one for machines—good thing you have a mechanic boyfriend!

he looks to you, a happy glimmer in his eyes. "you really wanna know? so basically— this part connects to that part and then..."

you don't know how long you've been zoned out, too busy staring at his perfect

"y/n?" he finally realizes you haven't been paying attention. "you with me, now?" he raises an eyebrow with a grin on his face.

"huh? what?" you straightened up, fumbling over your words. "yeah! why wouldn't i be?" you tried to act as if you weren't just ogling him seconds before.

"oh y'know.. cause you were checking me out." he winked, leaning back against the engine as he put himself on display. "i mean, you obviously couldn't help it. i mean, look at me!"

someone humble him

its not like he doesn't do the same tho

if he accidentally walks in on you he'd be like "oh my gods-! sorry!" and cover his eyes with his hands, but his fingers are parted so he could still look through. literally the 🫣 emoji

"GET OUT!"

"OKAY I'M GOING DON'T HIT ME- OW!"

he is SUPER ticklish and you WILL use this to your advantage

esp his ears

one time you touched them out of curiosity cause theyre pointer than average and he was like "eek!"

pause

"aww i didn't know you could make that sound!" you poked some more fun at him because that was adorable

"shut up!"

another time he's laying on you, ruining your plans of getting up early and being active. you tried rolling out from underneath him but his arms snake around you like a vice, squeezing a groan out of you.

"leo get off!" you tried shoving him off, but that didn't work either. he simply buried his face into your neck, mumbling a tired no.

you really had shit to do, so you resorted to the last possible tactic. "i didn't wanna have to do this..." you warned. (you so wanted to do this)

you slipped your hands under his shirt and started tickling his stomach, effectively getting him writhing off you with laughter.

"stop-! that tickles!" he tried doing the same back, but he was squirming far too much.

ok real talk now

love loves staying up late with you until its past midnight and you guys are just rambling about random topics. he's just so relaxed with you, his heart feels so full and there's no space anymore, so his bottled up emotions spill out

which is usually a closely-guarded secret because he's just the funny guy of the group, right?

what does he know about feelings? isn't it his job to just keep everyone else happy? joking about everything will take away the pain, won't it?

(it doesn't)

"i don't know, i just- feel like i don't really fit in with everyone. they all have these cool powers, and i'm just.. me." he laughed dryly, face devoid of his usual happiness as he stared at the ceiling. "sometimes, i feel like you could do so much better. but at the same time?" his voice lowered as he rolled onto his side, staring into your eyes. "i want to keep you to myself. i really, really don't want to lose you."

you were glad he finally opened up to you, but your heart ached at the way he thought of himself. how could he not see how highly everyone thought of him, especially you?

"just you? leo, you're the coolest person i know. you're so, so smart, you can fix just about anything, you're funny, you're kind, you can cook; what's not to love?" you smiled softly. you could go on and on about this man. for him to think that he was the lucky one? it was quite the opposite.

"and you don't have to worry," you whispered, cuddling closer to him and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. "i'll always be with you."

[yandere-daydreams]

Feel free to ignore this! I'm just v sleep deprived and having brain rot inspired by some things I saw in ur writing and thought it may be up ur alley. Also this brainrot thingy is mainly aimed at readers who have the ability to get pregnant so if that don't sit right with you feel free to ignore it or change aspects of it!

Hear me out right. A mix of the sex doll au and hybrid au (either fox or husky) for childe. But like in the doll au how he replaces components as a form of trying to live out the dad fantasy? Yeah that but in the hybrid au. Like reader is trying to rehabilitate this poor little baby fox kit/husky puppy that's really sickly and was abandoned. Childe basically looks at the reader playing nurse/mommy for this poor thing almost 24/7 (his attention is being deprived lol) and goes "oh yeah that little one is ours duh". He starts exhibiting protective dad behavior while simultaneously being like "look at how good of a job I can do".

Follow up to that the pup/kit either gets better and can be handed off to another conservationist who has other young hybrids and would do a better job at caring for them in a group environment with other hybrid kiddos so there's less of a risk of em becoming too domesticated. And reader is supper bummed out about it for a while bc all their attention was zoned in on this one really precious little one and now they've moved onto bigger pastures 🥲. Meanwhile childe sees this and is like "oh now I can both console my mate in their grief, I've proven I'm a capable partner, I can totally help them make new little ones!"

Take all of that inspo/brainstorming as u will. Also if you consider people submitting ideas as commissions I apologize for misunderstanding! Did not intend to overstep 🙇‍♀️

tw - implied violence, child neglect/abandonment, and obsessive behavior.

fjdkljdfksdj i think this would probably be more plausible with husky!childe, but something about this scenario with fox!childe is just,,,

it'd just be so sweet to watch him dote over the tiny, terrified kit one of your friends found shivering in a snowbank. you really aren't qualified to take care of such a young hybrid, but while you scramble to get a hold of a more experienced volunteer, childe picks up the slack. despite being old enough to walk, the poor thing barely leaves his arms. he handles their near-hourly feedings, modifies the ill-fitting clothes you pull out of storage to accommodate their tail and hind legs, even lets them crawl between you and him at night and violate his cardinal rule (no one else gets to so much as touch your bed except for him - an unspoken law that's resulted in more than a few bitten hands and bleeding guests). he does his best to put a dent in their never-ending energy, and when it's time for you to take over, he's never more than a few feet away, wagging his tail as you take the kit's temperature and try to convince them to swallow a few drops of medicine. and, when you finally contact a volunteer with a small shelter and a pack of orphaned kits, childe seems as happy as you are, rubbing his cheek against theirs as he tells them that they'll be home soon enough. it's sweet, even if fox-hybrid dynamics are, admittedly, a little lost on you. honestly, you're just relieved you'll be able to sleep through the night again.

at least, you're relieved until you get back from work the next day, until you find your door unlocked and your apartment wrecked, furniture overturned and rust-colored stains soaked into your carpeting. you find childe on the foot of your bed, bouncing a crying kit in his lap and gushing them quietly, but he doesn't look concerned. if anything, his posture is slack, the smile written across his face nothing short of ecstatic. he looks calm. he looks happy.

he looks like someone who only just found his way home.

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Black Widow

Summary: How a Black Widow made it out of the Red Room, and onto the 141.

Warnings: there’s a lot of talk of trauma in this, explicit smut, threesomes, jealousy, spitroasting, etc, etc, weirdly long (5k)

Notes: the reader was raised (ish) in the red room but this fic is not at all a part of the mcu – it’s just supposed to be the story of a defector, and how she became a part of the 141

kind of felt guilty while writing this bc it made me feel like ghost was cheating on red fox from the fics by @charnelhouse lmao

feedback and comments are very much appreciated!!!

Masterlist | requests are OPEN! | hmu to be added to one of my taglists!

The first memory you have of an outsider is at eleven years old. You and the other girls are sleeping in the dormitory when Madam Ivanova bursts in and opens the handcuffs binding you all to your beds. She pulls the others from their cots, and you almost don’t notice the man that grabs you by the arm.

He’s wearing a hat you’ve never seen before, and that immediately scares you – you don’t recognize him.

“I’ve found the girls!” he shouts, and others pour in, armed to the teeth. Madam Ivanova is still guiding other girls out of the room, and you can see the fear in her eyes. She’s not a kind person, but she takes care of you. Nothing bad has ever happened to you when you were with her.

Nothing like this.

So you turn around, and punch the man square in the face. It takes him aback, and he stumbles backwards. It gives you just enough time to run from him.

Later, you learn that his name is Price, and that he is with the British. An enemy of the Red Room.

Seven years later, you come face to face with him again. You’re three years into active duty, serving the Red Room, and you look drastically different from what you looked like at eleven.

It’s a mistake from another girl that causes your capture. It’s his face that you see first when the hood is pulled off your face.

In the past few years, he’s been the face of your nightmares, so you stay silent. It surprises you when the British don’t torture you. Instead, they offer you a deal. Provide them with the intel they want, and be free of the Red Room.

It takes you three months to accept that deal, and one more to get Price and his colleague Laswell the things they want.

They give you your pardon, and you move to New Zealand, as far away from Russia and Great Britain as you can.

With a fake passport, fake birth certificate and fake story, you leave all of it behind.

You wake up early, shrieking out of your sleep from a nightmare. Your first thought is to call Sarina, an old colleague who also made it out, but you know that she’s still asleep – at least the people in her time zone are. Instead, your feet carry you outside to the lake.

You fish around in your jacket, finding a cigarette and lighter. There’s a nervous feeling in your gut, ever-present. Trained into you since you can remember. This country is the safest and most isolated you could manage, and yet, there’s always the imperative of looking over your shoulder.

You hear Price walking onto the gravelly beach before you see him.

“You know I moved here to be left alone, right?” you tell him, taking another draw from your cigarette.

“I’ve got a job for you.” Price says instead, and you shake your head.

“I’m done with contracting work.”

“So you live off of government support and the intel you sell on the dark web?” he asks.

“That’s my business.”

“It’s about the Red Room.”

You pause, glancing over at him. He looks sincere, but you can also see the earpiece he’s wearing.

“Laswell on the comms?” you asked. You still remember the woman, distrusting as fuck from the moment she met you.

“Yeah. She’s helping with coordinating the team.”

You snort with disdain. “I don’t work in teams. We aren’t trained to.”

“You’ll like them.” Price promises.

“I doubt it. I don’t like you very much.”

Price gives you a dry laugh, and you know he doesn’t take it as personally as you want him to.

“I know that this is personal to you. You got out at eighteen – that’s later than most. You know what they do.”

“Ask any other defector. Sarina, or Antonya. I’m not interested.” You tell him firmly.

“We’re not taking many prisoners from the Red Room.” Price begins again, and you’re about to cut him off. “You can kill the head. Get the girls safe, and you can do with Dreykov whatever you want.”

The offer is too tempting to turn down. To be able to kill the man that ruined your life? The man that ruined the lives of all those other girls?

“I’m in.” you say, and Price gives you a grim smile in return.

“Pack your things. You can meet the team in England.”

Soap

Price had said that he was going to New Zealand for business. He hadn’t realized that ‘business’ entailed a woman.

“That yer girlfriend?” Soap asked, and the woman gave him a look so mean that she almost compared to Ghost.

“I’d hope not.” Price replied. “I’d be dead before morning.”

The woman sat down at the end of the table silently. She looked around, before her hands grabbed a pack of cigarettes from her jacket, lighting it up again.

Ghost was quiet too, but fuck, he knew Ghost. This woman didn’t say a single fucking word, but Soap still knew that Price didn’t have any kind of power over her.

“What’s the mission?” he asked impatiently, and Price set down a stack of Manila folders onto the table.

Laswell pushed off from the wall she’d been leaning against, pulling one of the folders from the stack.

“To most special operatives, the Red Room is a myth. A story made up by the KGB, and nothing more. But the Red Room exists, and we’re going to take it down.”

The woman made a sound for the first time, and it was a disdainful laugh. The others turned to stare at her, but Laswell cleared her throat to redirect their attention back to the right person.

“Over the years, the US and Britain have worked together to take the Red Room down, but it’s evolved from a KGB branch to a human trafficking ring. They take young girls off the streets all over the world and turn them into trained killers, mostly targeting politicians. Taking down the Red Room would mean putting a stop to their ongoing crimes and potentially explain some of the most unclear assassinations of the past seventy years.” Laswell said.

Soap glanced over to the woman, who was watching Laswell with close to no emotion on her face. Stubbing her cigarette on the steel table she leaned back, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“And she’ll be a part of that?” Gaz asked, nodding to her.

Price nodded. “Her call sign is Black Widow.”

“Got a name too?” Soap asked, and she told him, quickly. Quietly.

“What do you do in the field?” Gaz asked her. Soap noticed that Ghost was watching her closely, as if he expected her to pull a gun on the team.

“Hand to hand combat, espionage, sexpionage. I can be a sniper if you want me to.” She answered quickly.

“She’s here to show you the way into the Red Room and make the girls there trust you enough to get them out.” Price added.

“What, don’t want to get punched by a kid again?” she said, and Price rolled his eyes. They knew each other, but they didn’t like each other at all.

When the meeting ended, the team began to file out of the room, but Soap stayed behind, hoping to catch her and introduce himself. Ghost shot him a warning look, that Soap chose to ignore.

“Welcome to the team.” He said.

“Thrilled.” She replied dryly.

“I’m John. Everyone here calls me Soap though.”

“I know. I read your file.” She deadpanned. She could have been funny if she hadn’t been constantly mean.

“Ya got access to that?” he asked.

“No.” she replied.

Of course she didn’t.

Ghost

They’d tried to get into a smaller base of the Red Room first, to gather some more intel. None of the team had expected there to be any people, much less a bunch of teen girls armed to the teeth.

It didn’t end well.

Out of the thirty girls there, they’d managed to get seven out alive. The others had either died via cyanide pills or while fighting them.

Black Widow had explained that they were brainwashed, and that was why they’d immediately committed suicide when other options ran out. She didn’t seem to be affected too much by it. At least, she tried to pretend that it was that way.

He’d taken a bullet to the thigh, and it had been her to stitch him up in the safehouse before he could call the medic. She’d been grazed by something, and she took care of that herself as well.

They’d all managed to get some time under the shower, and now, they sat in the living room together. She was in the cargo pants she’d worn on the mission and a black tank top, and Ghost could see the tattoo on her right shoulder blade while her back was to him.

The square hourglass symbol, followed by a number.

1047.

He didn’t have to ask to know that she was the 1047th girl they’d taken. He wondered how many of them had died at his hands, while he didn’t know that he was fighting children.

Price was working on the radio they’d found in the safehouse, but finding an enjoyable station in the middle of Russia was proving to be harder than expected. Eventually, he landed on a classical music station.

She didn’t seem to mind, scraping her can of tortellini clean, until a new song played. Ghost did not recognize it, but he saw her hands curl around the can tightly, knuckles turning white.

“Change the station.” She said. Price looked up. It was the first thing anyone had said in a few hours.

“Why?”

“Just change the fucking station.” She snapped. “Please.”

Price nodded, turning it to something else. A Russian voice chattered into the room. Ghost could see that she was listening, probably understanding every single word.

“What are they saying?” Price asked.

“That there was a fire in the warehouse we were in.” she said.

“Nothing about us?”

She shook her head. “From what they’re saying, they don’t have a clue. The Red Room will know.”

“Why?” Ghost asked.

“They chipped us. They know the last location of the girls, and they know that seven of the chips moved without the rest. I had the medics take them out, but it took them a while to get here. By now, Dreykov will know that something is going on.”

It was the most she’d said in one go so far.

Ghost didn’t trust her, but he didn’t mind her either. Most of the team disliked her, and Price couldn’t seem to stand her. Soap had his mind set on talking to her. But Ghost… he didn’t know who she was, only that she was as quiet as he was.

He knew that Soap wanted to ask about the scars that littered her arms and what they could see of her back, and he knew that she would not answer.

Suddenly, there was a shout of frustration from Gaz.

“What happened?” Price asked, immediately on his feet.

“Heater’s out.”

Glancing outside, Ghost saw that it was snowing heavily. Black Widow got up from her spot in the room. Ghost could hear her shuffle inside one of the cabinets.

She returned with blankets, dumping them in the middle of the room before taking one for herself. Ghost said nothing as she sat down next to him, an arm length of space between them. The snow only got heavier, until it turned into an all-out blizzard.

“We’ll be snowed in tomorrow.” Soap noted.

“Let’s worry about freezing to death first.” Gaz said. He was chattering, despite the blanket around him. Black Widow had gotten herself a second already, and she still looked cold.

“Taking first watch.” Ghost muttered, sitting down by the window.

“I’ll join you.” Soap said. Ghost knew that Soap wanted to chatter about something idle to distract himself from the image of 23 dead fourteen-year-olds.

The others shuffled together for warmth, except for her. She stayed where she was, leaning against the counter of the small kitchen.

“Ya think she’s from the Red Room?” Soap asked under his breath.

“Course she is.” Ghost replied.

“I heard they take the girls when they’re three. Teach ‘em ballet and how to be all pretty while killing a man. Then they send them out when they’re fifteen.”

Ghost nodded, letting Soap know that he was listening.

“Ya think that’s why she wanted ta change the station?”

“Huh?”

“They were playin’ sum ballet song.” Soap said. “Maybe she knows how to dance to it. “

“Doubt she does much dancing.” Ghost replied.

“Sight for sore eyes though. But after what she did today…” Soap mumbled.

Ghost still remembered it. How ruthlessly she’d fought against those girls. Wasn’t she supposed to know that they had no choice?

They had all obviously gone through the same combat training, but she was older and stronger. Those girls knew that. She knew that.

Ghost had watched her snap the neck of one with a twist of her hand. Something like that was so grotesque that even Ghost seldom did it, but with her it looked like the starter to a five-course-meal.

“She ain’t happy.” Soap said.

“No shit.”

“Ya think she’s a good person?”

“I doubt it.” Ghost replied.

“I think she could be. Maybe she’s an ass due to circumstance.”

Ghost snorted. Only Soap would say something like that. When he glanced over to her, he saw beady eyes glancing back in the darkness. He wondered if she’d listened in to their conversation.

She didn’t sleep for most of the time Ghost and Soap were on watch. A few hours in, she picked up her pack of cigarettes and lighter and offered them to take over watch.

Ghost nodded, about to get up and go back to bed, but Soap was hesitant.

“It’s fucking cold sleeping on tha ground.” He said.

“We can sleep close. For warmth.” Ghost replied.

“Nah. I’ll stay on my feet.” Soap said.

Ghost shook his head. What the fuck was going on with Soap?

You

You were back to square one, thanks to some wrong intel. On top of that, they all saw what you did to the other girls. You weren’t sure if their pity was worse or whatever they did now.

All of them except Soap, who still seemed determined to chew off your ear. Currently, he was telling you about his hometown in Scotland.

“You’re from New Zealand, aren’t ya?” he asked finally.

“I just lived there.”

“Then where are you from?” he asked. You shrugged in response. Russia was where you were raised, technically, but you did not know where you were taken from.

Soap smiled at you brightly, completely unguarded. It threw you off. He was a special ops, and yet, he sometimes behaved like anything but.

You didn’t need classes in the Red Room to know that he was attracted to you. Yet, you weren’t sure whether that would help or hinder you.

“Who raised ya? Masked soldiers?” he said, and you were sure he’d meant it as a joke.

“A woman called Madam Ivanova. She was in charge of us.”

“Was? Who killed her?”

“Price.” You replied curtly.

“I’m sorry.” He said quickly. You could see that he was regretting his words.

“Don’t be. She wasn’t a good person.”

“You say that as if she killed your friends.”

“She did.” You replied.

“What?”

“If recruits aren’t good enough, you don’t let them into your ranks.” You shrugged.

“Recruits? Fucking hell, you were girls.”

“Yeah, at the beginning of the program. 1 in 20 makes it through.”

Soap didn’t say anything else that night.

***

You stayed on after taking down Dreykov. By going back into this industry, you’d given up New Zealand, and in your gut, you’d known that when you made that choice.

The team had grown to accept you, and even Price was alright with your company by now. In return, you tried to be less snappy towards them. It worked, most of the time.

The last mission had been a good one. No one innocent had died, you’d gotten the intel, and the bad guys were dead. It was like out of a story, and the group was celebrating.

Price had gotten an empty bar, and Soap was playing bartender, giving out drinks like there was no tomorrow, and chugging his own just as quickly. Ghost was in the corner, mask rolled up to drink whatever Soap handed him.

You could see a bit of blond stubble peek out, along with a small scar. You knew how he’d gotten it. It had been in the Red Room, the actual Red Room, and an eight-year-old girl had slashed at him with a sharpened letter opener.

Ghost hadn’t defended himself. You’d pried the girl off him, taking the weapon from her and making sure she wouldn’t jam it into his neck next.

“Here.” Soap said, handing you a shot of Tequila.

“I’ve had enough.” You replied. “If I drink any more, I’ll get tipsy.”

“That’s the point.” Soap said, firmly putting the shotglass down. “You’re lucky we’re not playing any drinking games.”

You snatched the glass from him, ignoring his smug smile as you downed it, holding out your ahnd for a lime wedge. Soap dropped it into your hand quickly.

You laughed at some stupid joke he said, ignoring the stares on your back from the rest of the team. You couldn’t deny the fact that Soap could make you feel less…

You weren’t sure, but when you were with Soap, your past faded into the background. It wasn’t as important anymore. All the blood and fucking gore of it.

Ghost

He wasn’t sure why, but he hated that she was laughing at Soap’s idiot jokes. Somehow, he had convinced her to get tipsy, and it was a good look on her.

She was pretty when she smiled. Not that she wasn’t without, but it made her look careless. At some point, she walked over to him, another shot glass in hand.

“Soap insists you drink another. He wants to see you tipsy.”

Ghost took the glass from her, ignoring the fact that he enjoyed their hands touching.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. Ghost paused.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re quiet. You always are, but you’re like… quiet tonight.” She said. He wanted to scoff at her.

“You and Johnny fucking?” he asked. He wasn’t sure why.

“What?” she asked. “Where the fuck is that coming from?”

“Don’t want my team messed up.”

“Oh in that case, you don’t have to worry Lieutenant.” She spat. Her entire body language had shifted in a moment, and it was telling Ghost to fuck off. “I’m going for a smoke.”

Ghost watched her storm out, before glancing over to Soap. He’d stilled his movements, looking after her.

Ghost followed a few seconds after, leaving the bar. She stood outside, clicking on her lighter angrily.

“Don’t fucking say anything stupid.” She told him, throwing the lighter away with a frustrated movement. Suddenly, Ghost surged forward, grabbing her jaw softly. He had to lean down to look at her, even if she wasn’t short.

“Wha-“ she began

“I thought you learned about all of this.” Ghost mumbled, suddenly unsure what to do. Her hands surged forward, pulling the lower half of his mask up.

His hand moved the back of her neck, covering pretty much all of it. He could taste the sourness of limes on her lips. Her lips were so soft Ghost thought he might forget about everything else.

He ghosted over her jaw, and felt the tenseness in it. Carefully, Ghost broke contact.

“Relax.” He told her.

“I am.”

“This isn’t a mission.”

“I just- I haven’t done this just for the sake of it.”

Shit. Ghost felt terrible when she said that.

“Don’t stop now.” She whispered, and Ghost obliged, his lips meeting hers again. Her jaw wasn’t as tense as it had been, and her arms hung loosely around his neck. Slowly, he let one of his hands slide down to her waist, pulling her in closely.

She let down a quiet oof as she hit his vest, letting him guide her towards the wall of the bar. His other hand pillowed her head, making sure that she would not hurt herself.

He hated to admit that kissing her was everything he wanted in that moment.

It was so perfect, the taste of her lips, her small hands on his chest and his own encircling her waist. Their closeness.

And then, the illusion shattered.

She sprang back from him, looking towards the door of the bar.

“Soap?” she asked, voice hoarse.

Soap

He’d only come out of the bar to check on her and Ghost, expecting them to be at each other’s throats. They were, just not the way he’d thought.

“Soap?” she asked, surprise apparent on her face. Ghost’s hand was still on her waist, but she’d backed away from him as soon as she’d heard his steps.

His stomach dropped. He wanted her. Simon fucking knew that. He’d wanted to do that to her since he’d met her, and he’d told Simon. He’d told him about what he thought of her and he did this?

And from the look on her face, she knew how he felt as well.

“Fuck you, Riley.” He spat, turning back around. Ghost stayed where he was, but she followed him.

“Please don’t go.” She said. “It was- I didn’t mean to-“

“What? You looked like you were about to fuck him right there.” Soap replied. He knew his accent was thick due to anger, and he didn’t care. He didn’t expect her to push him like a petulant child though.

Soap barely stumbled, and that only seemed to enrage her more.

“It was a heat of the moment thing!” she finally said. “He got me angry, and it worked, okay?”

“I don’t know why you’re so upset.” He finally replied. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“But I like you.” She blurted out. Soap blinked dumbly.

“What?”

“Don’t make me say it again. It makes me sound so childish.” She said. Behind her, Ghost moved.

“So why’d you make out with him?” Soap asked. She didn’t reply, but for the first time since he’d met her, she blushed. Furiously.

Oh.

He glanced over to Ghost, who towered behind her. He saw it too. Their eyes met, and Soap saw the idea that was coming to his mind mirrored in Ghost’s.

Oh.

They’d never even come close to something like that, but maybe…

Softly, he tipped up her chin, There were the beginnings of tears in her eyes, but her cheeks were still flushed from kissing Ghost and the Tequila she’d had. Her pupils were still dilated.

She was so fucking hot.

He could share with Ghost.

This wasn’t the first kiss Soap had imagined, but imagination be damned, it was still fucking amazing. Soap pulled her closer by the loops in her belt, feeling her body press against him. Her hands grabbed his neck, pulling him closer.

Soap could practically feel Ghost hover behind her, feel the impatience rolling off of him.

“Let’s get outta here, yeah?” Soap offered, and she nodded, grabbing him by the hand. Ghost followed, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He leaned in, whispering. “She’s never had sex for the sake of sex.”

Soap nodded. If she knew they were talking about her, she ignored it.

“I wasn’t planning on not focusing on her.” He replied.

Ghost

They found a dingy motel, and Soap barely managed to scrape money out of his wallet before he was already sprinting up the stairs to their hotel. The woman behind the desk gave them a look that told Ghost she knew exactly what they were planning.

Not that he cared much.

He caught up with her, grabbing her by the waist and throwing her over his shoulder. Soap shook his head, unlocking the door to their room as quickly as he could.

Ghost let her down on the bed, crashing lips onto lips. She gave a surprised squeak that turned into a moan as his hand wandered to her tits, greedily squeezing.

Blindly, she pulled Soap onto the bed, causing it to groan from the weight.

“Might break it if we keep going.” Soap said.

“That’s the goal.” She replied, before kissing him. Ghost didn’t know why he didn’t feel jealous but he was glad. Carefully, he set to work on pulling off her jacket, and then, her shirt.

He paused when he saw a massive scar, running from under her left breast until her hipbone. Ghost ran a thumb over it carefully. There was another, low on her stomach. Ghost didn’t want to think of where they’d come from. Kissing up her breasts, she felt her hands tug at his vest.

He shrugged it off, watching as she wrapped her legs around Soap’s waist, flipping him onto his back.

From under her hair, he saw the tattoo. It disappeared again when she leaned forward to suck on Soap’s neck, softly biting his shoulder.

Soap groaned and Ghost suddenly felt his pants grow uncomfortably tight.

He moved to kneel behind her, feeling her grind against the bulge in Soap’s pants. His hand snaked onto her neck, and she turned to kiss him.

“Good?” she asked. Simon and John nodded at the same time. She’s the most naked out of all of them, bra and pants still on, and God, it’s not enough for him. He picked her up, knowing exactly that she knew this was nothing for him, and beginning to open her pants.

Soap sat up, looking almost offended at being left out but then, he leaned back, giving her an appreciative smile.

Simon had almost managed to not feel guilty for making out with her behind the bar despite what Soap had told him.

She’s a pretty lass. I think she’d kill me if I told her.

That was the first thing Soap had told him, and Simon had silently agreed. He’d had no idea that Soap’s simple attraction would turn into a full-blown crush, like that of a lovesick teen. He’d had no idea that he’d follow so closely behind.

It had happened to him after the mess with the Red Room. She’d come out of Dreykov’s office, covered in blood, slick with it, and collapsed at his feet. He’d picked her up and carried her to the medics, but not before he’d caught a glimpse of the office.

Dreykov’s body, scattered across the room, his bodyguards dead with him.

He’d seen her carnal violence, and she’d held his hand afterwards, as they stitched her back together. Three bullets and six stab wounds, and she’d squeezed his hand so hard he was sure it would fall off.

They never spoke of it afterwards, but there was something there then.

There’s a moment of awkward rustling where Soap and Widow pull off their clothes, and Simon stands off to the side, unsure whether he should take his off as well.

Instead, he lowers himself to the end of the bed, pulling her towards him until her cunt is in front of his face. She crosses her legs for a moment, and Simon begins to work on her thighs. It takes her a moment, and then she lets him touch her.

Soap is somewhere above him, making out with her so intensely that Simon can see her chest heave with each breath. He’s so hard in his pants it almost hurts.

But this is about her. For her.

The first moan he coaxes from her is muffled, almost swallowed by Soap’s kiss, but the second comes more loudly. Simon stays where he is, until her legs wrap around his head with a trained strength and he can barely breathe.

He’d die happy between her legs.

Soap

Everything that’s happening turns into an avalanche once her clothes are off. She’s still sweaty from the bar and walking to the motel, but he couldn’t care less. Her tits are in his face – he has no right to.

Ghost is somewhere, doing something, and he can barely concentrate on what he’s doing with the sounds that are coming from her mouth. She’s not fragile – he knows she isn’t. And yet, he feels like he has to hold her like she’ll break apart.

“I want…” she begins, but trails off again, into another moan. Johnny throws a look behind his shoulder and sees her legs wrapped around Ghost’s head, so tightly that he isn’t sure his friend is still alive.

“What do you want?” he demands from her. She could ask anything from him right now. He’d shoot his own brains out if she wanted him to.

“Please, I need you.” She begs, and he thinks he’s going to lose his mind in this shitty motel.

Slowly, she lets Ghost go, and he stands up, pulling his mask over his face again. He’s still wearing his clothes.

Soap lets her get on top. Ghost is somewhere, holding her somehow, but all he can focus on is the feeling of him inside her. It’s never-ending, golden, and Soap knows nothing has felt more right.

“Fuck.” She mumbles, her arms shaking as she tries to steady herself on his shoulders. Ghost had done a number on her, and it looked amazing.

When she began to move, the scar on her stomach stretched, pulling on her skin. Soap wanted to take her away from it all. Him and Ghost, they could protect her. Let her truly retire.

She was younger than both of them, and had worked this kind of stuff long before them. Only Price had more experience.

Suddenly, she leans forward, her lips grazing his ear.

“Ghost feels a little left out.”

“We don’t want that, do we now?” he replies.

“I have something that might work.” She says, and Johnny trusts her. She turns around, offering her cunt to him from behind, facing Ghost. He takes out his cock, stroking leisurely, and Soap wants to gulp with her.

It’s fucking massive. She wants to suck him off when he’s that big?

But then she’s practically begging him to fill her cunt again, and all thoughts of possible or not possible are gone when he’s inside her.

He watches, through a haze, as Ghost feeds her his cock. She gags on it, and Johnny can feel himself twitch inside her. She feels it too.

Ghost is careful with her at first, whispering praises.

Good girl. You’re doing so well.

And then, he kind of forgets all about that, slowly guiding her head. The enormity of him causes her to rock back against Soap, and he wishes he could see her face.

He feels himself growing close, and suddenly he panics – there’s no condoms.

So he pulls out of her, and both Ghost and her halt their movements.

“You on the pill?” Soap asks quickly.

“I can’t have kids.” She replies. He halts at that for a moment, but then, she and Ghost are back at it, and he doesn’t want to miss out.

His hand snakes down to her belly, finding her clit. It causes her to clench around him and it takes Soap all of his willpower not to come then and there.

He doesn’t know where to look. The perfect fucking curve of her back. Her ass. Her face in Ghost’s crotch, taking him as if that wasn’t a fucking challenge.

Soap barely manages to coax an orgasm out of her before he cums. He's so close his brain has turned to mush. She shudders against him, and he has to hold her up, feeling her pretty ass bump against him, always begging for more. He gives as much as he can, making her moan around Ghost’s cock so loudly that the woman behind the desk downstairs has definitely heard.

One last time, he grabs her hips tightly, cumming inside her, before he pulls out and leans back.

He gets to enjoy the view as she continues to suck off Ghost, his cum dribbling out of her cunt. His handprints are on her hips, already beginning to bruise. Ghost doesn’t take much longer before he comes too, holding her head down. Soap hears her choke, and it’s enough to make him hard again.

She collapses onto the bed next to him, sweatier than before and hair in tangles thanks to Ghost.

Soap takes the stringy towel Ghost gets him from the bathroom, wiping down her thighs and offering it to her for her face.

“No need.” She says with a proud smirk.

“God, stop. You’ll be in for another round otherwise.”

Ghost sits on the bed across from them before she waves him over. It’s barely enough space, but she manages to squeeze between them. Soap scratches her back carefully, and she purrs like a cat.

“Was that good for a first?” Soap finally asks.

“Oh no it was totally terrible.” She answers, her voice sarcastic. “It’s not like I came all over your dick.”

“Jesus.” Ghost manages, but Soap sees his massive hand already on her ass.

“Round two?” Soap asks, and she gives him an adoring smile. There’s a moment where he feels himself falling in love with her even more, and maybe even with Ghost, for taking care of his girl.

“Give me a moment.” She says finally. “But yeah, let’s go for a round two.”

[foreststranger]

VARIOUS - FORESTSTRANGER TRAIL MIX: I

ꜱᴛᴀʀʀɪɴɢ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

↳ 『honkai: star rail』blade, jing yuan, gepard, luocha, sampo x gn!reader (seperate)

ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

↳ how various HSR men feel/react being away from you for long periods of time.

𑁍 ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 0.7k

ɴᴏᴛᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

↳ I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO WRITE FOR SAMPO BC I DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE HIM BUT I WANTED TO WRITE HIM 💔

ALSO, the texting part in this fic (sampo’s section) might be messed up on different screens (I know it works on an ipad bc that’s what i typed this on but i’m not sure about phones or browser/desktop)

ʙʟᴀᴅᴇ

𑁍 away a lot for Stellaron Hunter missions.

𑁍 he won’t call or text most of the time but will constantly have you on his mind.

𑁍 sometimes, he’ll just zone out while doing something because he’s thinking about you

↳ “Bladie? Are you in there?” Kafka snaps her fingers in front of his face, startling him slightly.

“What?” Blade’s eyes narrow at her. As if she’s woken him from a blissful dream.

“You were thinking about someone, weren’t you?” A knowing grin crosses her face.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ ALSO

𑁍 in my (correct) opinion, Blade has a super low social battery and as much as he likes being around you and how you make him feel, it just becomes too much for him sometimes (not projecting at all).

𑁍 you just won’t see or have any contact with him for a week or so sometimes and then he’ll pop up again.

𑁍 he usually just wanders around the Luofu when he wants to be alone.

𑁍 comes up with ideas for what he might do to make it up to you for disappearing again when he’s ready to talk to you.

↳ “Blade, you know you don’t have to do that for me! I get that you just want to be alone. You dont have to ‘make it up to me’ or anything. Maybe tell me next time, though, please?”

“…I understand.” He nods with his eyes shut.

ᴊɪɴɢ ʏᴜᴀɴ

𑁍 off doing General things because he’s the General (surprise).

𑁍 texts you almost every day to check up on you and sometimes invites you into the Seat of Divine Foresight just to hang out (“hang out” as in you sit on his lap while he blankly stares at scrolls on his table).

𑁍 literally only wants to be with you all the time (“be with you all the time” as in napping and snuggling with you when he’s supposed to be working) but you tell him that he has to do his work because it’s important and people depend on him and blah blah.

𑁍 but almost every time, you can’t resist when he begs you to stay with him in his office for just a little longer.

↳ “Jing Yuan, I should really get going. You have stuff to do and-“

“[name], please, humour me. Would you stay for just another minute?” He pouts slightly, looking at you with pleading eyes just as you were about to head to the door. The look he gives… how could you say no? You wouldn’t be there for long, anyway. Just another minute, he said.

“…Fine.”

ɢᴇᴘᴀʀᴅ

𑁍 the Captain of the Silvermane Guards is a busy man but he always makes time for you.

𑁍 will come find you on his lunch breaks so he can take you out to eat.

𑁍 if he’s been away for especially long, he often can’t focus on his work because of how much he wants to see you again.

𑁍 he knows that as the captain, he should be setting a good example to his subordinates, but he can’t help but always think of you. it’s getting to the point where it’s embarrassing.

↳ “Captain! You’re here!” At the sound of Dunn’s voice, Gepard quickly jumps up from his seat, his face completely red as if caught doing something he shouldn’t be (daydreaming about you).

“Uh… Captain? Are you okay?” Dunn approaches, worried that something’s wrong.

“Y-yeah. Yes, yes, I’m fine. What’s the issue?” Gepard’s voice is shaky as he tries to get ahold of himself.

ʟᴜᴏᴄʜᴀ

𑁍 definitely sends you letters while away on business. he finds them more heartfelt than a text message and you find them endearing.

𑁍 he collects trinkets/things he’ll think you like and give them to you when he comes back (akduanaisuahka I love him).

↳ “To my dear [name],

I hope you’re doing well. Work has been difficult and I miss you so much.

Don’t worry though. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Yesterday, I found a collection of books I thought you’d like on sale. I cannot wait to give them to you when I return.

I’ll write again soon, [name]. I love you.

𝐿𝓊𝑜𝒸𝒽𝒶”

ꜱᴀᴍᴘᴏ

𑁍 spam texts you like a hundred times a day just for the sake of interacting with you.

𑁍 accidentally sends you “business offers” instead of sending them to his clients lmaoo.

𑁍 never tells you when he’ll be back so he can surprise you.

↳

Sampo: Heyyyy fam

So

I was wondering

Do you wanna make an investment?

No?? :You

Sampo: ???

Oh

sorry

wrong person

Ignore what I said

Why? :You

Wait!!!!

What if I want to make the investment?

Sampo has gone offline

ask before translating, taking inspo from (not copy), reposting, etc. my work. remember to credit me and if you’re taking inspo from it, please @ me as I’d like to see what you do with my ideas!

[creative-caramel-coffee]

I miss your writing😂 I need me some weems, now idk if you’ll consider writing age regression ? Bc I have another idea if you do.

So r is depressed bc they ran out of medication and forgot to refill it since they’ve become ill (me rn it’s horrid and messing with my head) no one’s seen or heard from r and weems has to do a welfare check. Here she finds a depressed and very sick reader. She knows of readers bad back ground (they are a shifter and was found hanging onto life after being abused in a facility like hydra for shifters) so when r becomes all clingy and very child like it confessed weems. R is so touch starved it’s insane, but with weems rn she’s like a child wanting and craving the affection just needing to be held. So naturally weems does that and that’s how she discovers the fever r has and that r ran out of her meds so weems nurses her better. Oh! Could also add r isn’t sleeping bc of nightmares due to their background?

Sorry for the long request and I’m not even sure it makes sense. I need my Damn pills lmao.

🕯️

A little sick

Pairings: Weems x Reader (platonic)

Word count: 1.4K

Summary: you're sick and regressed.

TW: agre? Sickness, depression, medicine (prescription),

A/n I’ve never written this kind of thing before so tell me if any of its wrong. Cute request tho :) let me know if you like it or want to see more of this kind of thing.

Part 2

Waking up and feeling like your bones were made of lead was not the way you wanted to start the day. It took all of your strength to pull yourself upright. Standing on shaky legs you wobble over to your dresser pulling out the pouch of pills that helped you with the aftermath of the facility and the depression it left. You knew firsthand how bad it could be to be a shapeshifter. Hunted and experimented on. You drew a deep breath pushing the thoughts away and exhaling slowly and shakily.

Unzipping the pouch, you frowned. All the blister packets were empty. You were out. You slouched dejectedly. It was going to be a long day. Yoko had already left for classes and to be honest you didn’t really think you could make it to the wardrobe to get changed let alone all the way to class. You sighed dejectedly and hobbled back to bed and laid down on your back staring at the roof. The feelings were getting harder to push away.

Your chest felt hollow, and you choked back a sob. The last time you were sick … was back there and to be honest you had no idea what would happen if someone found out here.

You zoned out feeling a familiar fuzzy feeling swallow your mind. You tried to push it away which only seemed to make you headache unbearable. The pain was what made you slip. Dropping hard, you felt your body shift. Soon the bed felt much bigger as you curled into a ball and cried. You were tired but scared to sleep, the nightmares seemed to be ever persistent.

You had no idea how long you had been crying, small sobs wracking the tiny body on the bed. Soon a knock sounded on the door.

Weems had had reports all day that you had been absent. Knowing your history with depression she knew it was imperative to do a welfare check as soon as she could. Looking at her calendar she swore. She had a copy if the nurses schedule for meds and prescription refills. Yours were out and it looked like nobody had picked up more for you.

She finally signed off the email she had spent the morning drafting to the mayor. Closing her laptop she toed on her heels, opting to take them off to give her feet a break when sitting and stood smoothing out her skirt. She hurried out the door and to your dorm. Hearing small noises inside she hesitated before knocking, she knew you were in there was was slightly terrified of what she would find inside the dorm.

Hearing the soft knock on the door you wiped a small fist over your eyes and sat up still silent tears running down your cheeks. You waited and heard the door open.

Weems peered into the dimly lit room; the windows still drawn. She saw a small lump on the bed and slowly walked over. The closer she got the more shocked she became. Why was there a toddler in the dorm and why did she look exactly like … y/n?

Small sad eyes looked up at her and sniffled. Weems stood awkwardly not really knowing what to do. She had a suspicion. She knew you were a shifter like herself. She looked down at you and it clicked. It made sense with the amount of trauma you had. You had regressed both physically and mentally to a child. Looking down at the sad child, you looked up at her and extended your arms.

“Up?” You asked with childlike innocence. Weems felt her heart melt. Gently she placed her hands under your arms and lifted you onto her hip. Almost straight away you buried your face in her neck, and she let out a soft gasp.

You were face too warm. Gently she peeled your face from her neck so she could look you in the eyes while she bounced you on her hip. You let out a soft whine at the loss of contact and weems shushed you as she placed a gentle hand against your cheek then forehead.

“Oh honey. Are you not feeling too good right now?” She asked. “Do you feel icky?” She said and you nodded and sniffled, the tears slowing.

“Alright. Well, we are going to get you some medicine then we are going to come back to my place for some sleep.” She said and you whined.

“No sleep.” You pouted and Weems frowned. “Cuddles?” You asked.

“Ok sweet girl you can have cuddles but why no sleep?” She asked.

“Mean dreams.” You pouted and she felt her heart break. Of course, you had bad dreams, that was almost assured with what you had been through. Why didn’t she think of that. Patting you back she used a hand to guide you back to her neck as you put your thumb in your mouth.

Weems winced knowing it probably wasn’t clean but there wasn’t much she could do about it right now and she preferred it to the crying. Holding you on her hip with one arm and the other on the back of your head she saw a small white fluffy thing under your blanket walking over and pulling out the stuffie you brightened as she tucked it between you and her chest as you wrapped you free arm around it.

“Alright honey let’s go get some medicine for you.” She said and left. She knew the school week enough to make sure nobody would see the two of you, God the rumours would be endless if students saw weems with a child. Careful to avoid any class windows Weems made it to the infirmary. As a shapeshifter herself she knew that the doses of medicine would need to match the physical size of the body. Balancing you on her hip she looked into your eyes.

“How old are you sweetheart?” She asked and you looked at her shyly holding up four fingers and puffing your chest out.

“Im four.” You grinned.

“Wow. Big girl huh?” She asked and you smiled wider.

Weems pulled out the bottle of medicine labeled 3-6 and any other supplies she would need. Carefully making her way back to her office she slipped back into her own quarters to take care of you.

You whined as she set you down on the couch but stopped as she lifted you back into her lap. You sure were clingy like this. Measuring out a dose of medicine Weems coaxed you into drinking it which made you stick your tongue out in disgust after.

“Yucky.” You said. Weems chuckled.

“Im sure it was sweet girl.” She said and stroked your hair. You buried your face in her chest and fisted your hands in her shirt.

“Alright bedtime. I think someone needs a nap huh?” She said and you whined.

“Nooo.” You said.

“Alright how about some cuddles instead?” Weems asked and you smiled.

“Cuddles?”

“Yes. Cuddles.”

“Yay cuddles.” You celebrated.

“Alright sweet thing lets go to my bedroom and we can cuddle.” She said knowing you would fall asleep in no time. Curling into her chest more and wrapping you small arms around Weems she felt her heart melt again as she ran her nails up and down your spine. You shivered and enjoyed the touch.

After a few minutes you seemed to be fighting sleep, eyes drooping before flying wide open again with a small whimper.

“Honey whats the matter? Why won’t you sleep love?” Weems asked softly.

“Bad dreams.” You whimpered softly and weems patted your back running her hands through your short hair. It was much shorter than normal probably from the shift.

“Honey, you need to sleep, I’ll be here the whole time. I won’t leave your side, ok? Do you think you could be a brave girl and get some sleep for me?” She asked softly.

Burrowing your face into her neck you nodded and shuffled around to get comfy. Weems knew either way based off how exhausted you seemed you would be asleep soon regards of what you wanted.

And as predicted after about five more minutes weems felt your breath even out against her chest and heard small snores coming from you. She smiled softly down at you and decided then and there she would never let anything hurt you again.

MASTERLIST

[yanderepuck]

Ikevamp au where everything is the same except the suitor falls in love with you, but you hate them.

Imagine. An otome game, but you constantly turn down the guy.

Napoleons route: what makes you think I want to be your body guard?

You: what makes you think I want to be near a panty sniffer?

Napoleons route later: wait... I think I'm in love with her

You: why won't he leave me alone.

Wait why is this actually hilarious

Mozart's route: no one likes you and no one wants you here.

You: what makes you think I want to spend my time with a man who meowed at people?

Mozart's route later: so I actually really like your company

You: I've never enjoyed being around you for a moment after you called me a nuisance.

How would you expect me to fall in love with either of these two after they both tell me they want nothing to do with me. Please explain

Leonardo's route: I'm going to drag you around the city and have you help me with things

You: please just let me be depressed in the mansion

Leonardo's route later: I've really been enjoying our time together

You: please just let me be depressed in the mansion.

Just let her do her thing. She wants to go back home with no strings attached. Make sure she doesn't try to kill herself but please don't drag her along against her will.

Arthur's route: you're a pretty little thing

You: touch me and I will scream and bite you myself. Never speak to me. Don't even perceive me.

Arthur's route later: so it all started when I was a wee lad

You: didn't I tell you to stop acknowledging me? I'm not interested in your trauma. I didn't even know who wrote Sherlock until I got here

Let be real. Most of us didn't actually know. We knew Sherlock didn't write Sherlock but we didn't know it was some crazy fairy man.

Vincent's route: you're really sweet and I think we should be friends

You: yes. Friends is nice. You seem very nice

Vincent's route later: so..I..um...I want to be more than friends.

You: learn how to have a negative emotion and stop acting like being sad is a bad thing.

The boy is honestly toxic. He's going to invalidate your negative emotions I feel it.

Theo's route: hondje! You saw my scar and so now you're going to work for me!

You: shouldn't I be the one trying to blackmail you??

Theo's route later: you're actually a really good worker and have a good eye for art. I like you hondje

You: so you like capitalism? Am I even getting paid? I didn't travel through a door just to run around the city and sell art work

I'll never understand how it makes sense that Theo thinks he can make her do things bc he assumes she noticed some random ass scar. WHAT'S WRONG WITH EVERYTHING LEARNING YOU GOT SHOT. YOU DIDN'T COME FROM THE FUTURE. THEY CAN TECHNICALLY LOOK UP HOW YOU DIED.

Why did I have a hard time coming up with one for Isaac. Ik that boy is problematic but why am I having issues

Isaac's route: HOW DONT YOU KNOW ABOUT *insert very complicated scientific theory*

You: I went to public school my dude. Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

Isaac's route later: she's very kind and patient. Is this what love feels like??

You: IF HE COULD SHUT UP ABOUT HIS WORK FOR 5 SECONDS THAT WOULD BE GREAT

I know once I post this I'll think of a better one for Isaac. But oh well. Boy needs to let you talk about your day.

Dazai's route: you're so cute. I'm going to adopt you as my little sister

You: you're a little weird... But I guess this is okay

Dazai's route later: so I really like you, but I need to push you away and act like I don't care because it's what's best

You: I have been here for two weeks and you've tried to kill yourself 4 times. How did you think I could mentally handle that let alone want to date you, PLUS YOU KEEP CALLING ME YOUR LITTLE SISTER

He sibling zones you up until the very end. What kind of Alabama kink do you got going on, Dazai

Jean's route: I'm not sorry that I bit you. Don't talk to me, I don't want friends. No one understands me anyway.

You: if Comte doesn't beat your ass for biting me then I'll do it myself.

Jean's route later: I think I'm learning what love is. She's helped me with so much and I want to repay her

You: he bit me and never apologized or got in trouble. Why the hell would I ever be interested in him. He's treating life like a SURVIVAL GAME

I have many complaints about Jean. But my main one is the biting and him never getting in trouble for it bc he's the favorite child.

Will's route: you found and read my note book and now I have to keep an eye on you so you don't tell anyone that I'm using this information against them to possibly get them killed!

You: sooo...you aren't writing all of this because you have bad social skills and are just trying to better understand everyone because they are all from a vastly different time period than you? Thanks for telling me your plan.

Will's route later: so I've realized the error of my ways and I'm not going to do the deed any more and I hope you can forgive me

You: LET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN VILLA

Will became a little too obsessed. Oops

Comte's route: it is my fault that you are here, so I will protect you and take care of all your needs while you are here. You'll be the daughter I never had

You: thanks! I'll work around the mansion to pass the time and get to know everyone better

Comte's route later: I know I have pushed you away multiple times but I really love you and I want to spend centuries with you

You: I have seen how bad of a parent you are and I've picked up your dirty clothes off the floor I don't think this is going to work

Comte just keeps daughter zoning you and then is like "so I love you" IS THIS WHERE DAZAI GETS IT FROM.

Sebastian's route: every time you do something wrong I'm going to flick your forehead

You: do that one more time and I swear to God I'm slapping that grin off your face

Sebastian's route later: being with you is making me miss home and consider going back to our time. I would love to go back with you and spend our lives together back in Japan

You: there's so many reasons why this wouldn't work out and staying at the top: YOU TOOK SOME RANDOM PILLS SOME PRIEST GAVE YOU. Not to mention you didn't tell ANYONE you were dying

If you're gonna fall in love with me at least tell me you're going to die in a few months.

Also not going to do the trio in this moment. Oops sorry

[outro-jo]

new moon, new vibes

pairing: bang chan x gn reader

type: one shot

warnings: practicing witchcraft, mentions of deities, use of florida water, kinda spicy alluded at the end but nothing at all in detail… i can’t think of anything else 😂

notes: this is how i would practice but this is not a tutorial nor am i teaching you how to do things. if you want to practice witchcraft, please do your own research! this is just a self indulgent piece of writing and it is fiction 🫰🏻don’t come to me for questions lmao i’m sorry but i’m not a teacher. i just study for myself and incorporate things as i see fit. there are practitioners who teach, i am not one of them for my own idk… safety isn’t the right word bc like i’m protected but like mental health… i’m in and out of my practice sm it feels hypocritical to teach so just don’t ask 😂 i can give resources tho and google is ✨free✨ 🤍 also, i wouldn’t really request another one of these. the new moon in virgo said, “bitch, do something” 😂 sorry for the long disclaimer

please read info before requesting!

masterlist | info

—————————————————

chris tracks the moon better than you do sometimes. never for any reason in particular other than sheer curiosity but this time it all just worked out. yes, he’s like three albums ahead in recording with bonus 3racha songs that will never see the light of day, but he was feeling the need to start working on a new album too. the boys creativity was spiking as well and they were getting restless. in other words, it was time to get to work, but chris needed a refreshing in his work space. normally he loved his studio, it was all you could do some days to get him out of it. sucked into his kaleidoscope hole of creativity until it finally set him free once the album was done. but the vibes were stale. he felt trapped lately, like his mind was racing with ideas of lyrics and melodies but none of them were clicking.

that’s where you come in.

nothing felt better to christopher after he just helped clean the house and then you banish the negative energy and cleanse the space. he knew it was time for some of that in his studio or he was gonna go insane.

your spirituality was nothing you hid especially from him. he grew up in the church so he kept his distance but was quietly observing. he still remembers the first night he watched you work.

the living room was dimly lit, windows open with the moon cascading light into the living room on your makeshift work station on the coffee table. the air swirled with smells of incense, oils, and herbs and you sit quietly as you worked. your playlist of music softly played in the background. chris didn’t say a word but he was enthralled with everything you did, almost attempting to ask what each thing was and how it worked but you seemed to be in a zone.

“ask, christopher.” you spoke up, not bothering to glance his way.

he awkwardly shifted in his seat on the floor as he cleared his throat, “what’s that do?”

he cringed at himself a little for sounding like a child but you couldn’t help but smirk at how adorable and clueless he was.

“well, this is a pretty basic banishing spell.” you continued into detail of your work and the reasoning, which worked out well for you because then you could further set your intentions into the spell. eventually that’s just how you would do your spell work, explaining things to him in detail and why you were doing things.

also, it always blew his mind how you always seemed to know things before they happened but you were never super obvious about it. one time you had warned him about a presence at work. his questions at the time went unanswered but then he came home in shock.

“how the hell did you know about Beomseok?” he was in utter disbelief.

you simply shrugged, “you have family on the other side wanting to protect you.”

ever since he thought there might be something to what you do and after some time of thought he came to you and said that however you wanted to use him in your practice, he was willing. you started out slow and decided that apollo would be a good fit to work with for him and his music. it started with regular cleansing and a sun charm you enchanted for him, but now chris was feeling the pull for more to be done.

“i need your help.”

you glanced up at him from your spot on the couch to give him your full attention as he moved to take a seat next to you. he seemed nervous as he shifted a bit.

“so, the moon is moving into pisces tonight and the guys and i are feeling a shift in our creativity and it’s a new moon but the energy in my studio is awful. so i was wondering…” chris stopped looking for you to finish the sentence as he wasn’t quite sure what he was even asking for.

you mimicked his head motions, trying to pick up what he was putting down. “you want me to cleanse your space?”

“i think so…” he breathed out a chuckle. “something, i dunno. whatever you do in here when we clean the house.”

you let out a laugh, finally understanding what he was trying to ask. “ok, yeah, so some incense, crystals?”

“yes! i like crystals.”

fuck, he was cute.

“yeah! let me get some stuff. oh! and by the window over there, grab a water bottle.” you pointed as you walked down the hall.

“one of these?”

“yep! it’s moon water. it’ll cleanse you too.” quickly you rushed out, stopping in front of him as he drank and showed the spray bottle in your hand. “florida water. gets rid of bad vibes. if we’re gonna do this we should cleanse ourselves.”

“oh! uh-ok.” he stood up straighter and squared off his shoulders in preparation.

“close your eyes and take a deep breath in…” you paused as he complied. “and out. good! now imagine a bright, warm, golden light surrounding you.”

after a minute, he nodded, “ok.”

“keep your eyes closed, and i’ll spray this now, ok?”

he nodded.

“perfect. keep drinking your water. do you remember what incense you liked best?” you rushed off again to gather supplies.

“ummm… oh! the dragon one!”

you giggled to yourself, “dragon’s blood?”

“yeah! it sounds cool.”

god, his intuition is insane.

you finished packing up your essentials and as the sun was setting you were able to head down to his studio. immediately when you walked in, you could tell exactly what he meant by the energy being off. the room, while not having any physical changes, felt stagnant and almost moldy without having the physical smell, but nothing you couldn’t fix.

“ok, top to bottom clean. dusting, clearing out trash, everything.” you told him.

chris nodded and immediately got to work. he was thankful to start with something he understood. while jype had regular cleaners, chris usually told them not to bother cleaning in here since he has things a certain way and he always intended to clean himself… he never did. the room already started to feel better with just a deep cleaning.

“what next?” chris asked eagerly.

“cleanse with some florida water and incense.” you explained, pulling it out of your bag.

this time when you used the florida water, you explained the history of the perfume to him and explained the use of herbs and ingredients, since you usually made it yourself. next was the incense and the properties of dragon’s blood, saying that it’s good for courage in pursuing creative projects that might be out of his comfort zone and that how there’s even science to back how the essential oils have increased activity in the left hemisphere of the brain.

“next, crystals. we charge them in the moon or sunlight.” you told him, raising the first one too him. “citrine, it’s heat treated amethyst that changes the color. it banishes negative energy and keeps you focused. also brings in abundance.” you finished him with a wink. each crystal you pulled out of your bag you gave an explanation and finally set everything up. finally you pulled out a golden stick candle with some herbs. “final thing, we’re gonna ask apollo for some help.”

“oh! the music guy! that’s a good idea!” chris exclaimed as he took the seat next to you at the desk.

everything felt different from the first time he saw you practicing your craft. before he was quiet and timid, afraid to ask questions and even participate. now, he was getting fully involved by helping make sigils with his intentions, carving them into the candle then applying herbs and oils. the two of you watched the candle burn down and chris already felt the energy in the room shift dramatically with new ideas for music pouring into his head. he couldn’t wait to get started but it was still a new moon and you two had other rituals to attend to.

[nordidia]

hey do you have any tips for unmasking

here are some that help me personally in my current journey! mind u everyone is gonnna be different with their seperate needs and ways to stim but i think some of these can be universal advice to be more comfortable.

surround yourself with people who encourage you unmasking. if your friends dislike you when you unmask... then there is a huge issue. no friendships should be a preformance, they should like you for you

a good example of how it should be: i can be deadpan and monotone and blunt and even sometimes angry (not @ them just in general) around my friends and none of them mind bc they know i mean well. i dont have to preform cheerfulness and happiness for them to be comfortable. they are comfortable because they know me and dont take any of it personally! very important!

learn that it is safe to take off your mask, when safe. especially alone is good to practice this, if you have a hard time unmasking even when you're alone

if you write or draw, by all means, project onto your favorite characters! you dont have to post it if you dont want to, or if its really out of character and just for self comfort. its good not to feel alone, and our favorite characters can help with this

google advice! always great!

find safe and comfortable ways to take mask-breaks during stressful situations such as school or work. i'd often go to the bathroom just to sit alone during school, just to get a bit of a break from being preceived and sitting still, and just to fully be alone for a few. at parties or bars i will go outside sometimes to esape noise and social interactions

avoid anything that could aggravate your senses/overwhelm you when you can! wear comfortable clothes, take off jewlery when you can start feeling them, bring stim toys and earplugs/headphones when you go outside of your safety zones like home!

remember that unmasking and stimming is necessary to regulate emotions, and really really realise that

unmasking is important to avoid meltdowns, shutdowns, and especially long term burnout. trust me, you dont want that.

a big part of unmasking is knowing its okay to regulate your emotions when needed. less dysregulation, less need for masking, easier to safely learn how to unmask when it feels safe!

everyone stims to regulate. everyone, even neurotypicals. you just need it more than others. and that's okay!

i hope you maybe feel better reading this, knowing you're not alone<3 these are all just my personal advice that i still work with, by all means google some advice for yourself and talk to friends!

i hope you are well <3 good luck!

[lixiehugs]

fanmade video : moments when nct were caring and protective of mila!!

warnings : mentions of eating disorders.

a/n : hello!! welcome to my once-a-year upload piece /hj!! i say this every time i come back, but this time i feel like i might actually start writing more. i have so many writings i have been sitting on for my girlies (esp mila), and i am dying to share them!! please wait for me!!

a/n : im not even gonna lie i kinda ate with this photo like💅🏻 (JUST IGNORE HER HAIR PLEASE😭)

"hello, everyone, and welcome back to another video on my channel! this episode will be none other than the boys of nct taking care of our producer, mila!! not to be confused with mila taking care of the boys, however (which will be a future video). these are some of the sweetest moments where mila didn't have her angry protection face on<3 enjoy the video!!"

when the boys give mila their jackets🥹

so, we all know how much mila hates puffer jackets.

like, she will do ANYTHING to get out of wearing a puffer jacket.

except when it is for a photo shoot, then she remains our professional queen🥰

but mila would rather wear like 7 layers instead of a puffer jacket bc she is so stubborn😭

like same but is it really worth it girl???

and my gal is out here in like 4°c in her leather jacket and a hoodie trying to convince the guys that she isn't cold like

MISS MA'AM WE CAN SEE YOUR BREATH?? YOUR TEETH ARE CHATTERING???

i just know that taeyong begs her to put on a heavier jacket every day, but she never does

but on this day, mila said that she thought it wasn't that cold so she thought that her leather jacket would be okay.

turns out it was not!! she was freezing because it got breezy.

most of the other boys were fine with the temperature, even having their jackets unzipped

but when they saw mila getting out of the van clutching her already zipped jacket around herself, practically trying to hide in her coat, they all went 😦😦

jeno, renjun, mark, haechan, and jaemin all came running to her with their coats😭 (jisung and chenle were cold)

she laughed and tried to play it off like she wasn't that cold, even going as far to let her hands poke out of her sleeves and let go of her tight grip on her jacket, but as soon as she did, she was wincing at the cold and looking at her members for help

without hesitation, jeno shrugged his jacket over her shoulders and zipped it up.

jaemin then tried to zip it up fully and have her put her hood up, but mila stopped him because she knew she could not take pictures like that.

basically, mila is never going to be that cold again!! not on the dreamies' watch😡

making sure mila has something to eat🥹

mila has said this herself, i'm not hating!! but she is a PICKY EATER.

like PICKY PICKY

mila said that when she first moved to korea, she would only eat "white people food" because it's all she was used to.

"i only started using the flavorings of the ramen packs after living here for like 6 months"💀

she said that she didn't even feel asian because she hated all the food and didn't know how to use chopsticks🤧

but!! that was a while ago, and mila has gotten so much better!!

as a picky eater myself, i know how hard it is to go out of your comfort zone with food.

just the fact that when she was a trainee, she would have to make her own food and take that with her whenever the boys wanted to go out makes me want to cryyyyy

but now she likes enough foods to go out with them🥹

anyways, back to the situation at hand;

in episode 2 of chillin' in the dream 8lace, when mark and jeno get the punishment of having to cook for the rest of the members, they wanted to make bibimmyeon. when jaemin came into the kitchen to help them (and also to make sure they didn't burn the kitchen down), mark asked if mila would eat bibimmyeon, to which jaemin says "yes, she will"

this is because mila used to hate bibimmyeon!! fun fact~

this situation also happened in the beginning of the 6th episode.

the boys who were awake wanted tuna and mayo fried rice (which needs fried eggs) for breakfast, and jaemin, being the angel he is, remembered that mila didn't like tuna and mayo fried rice. so, when mark asked for jaemin to scramble some eggs for him, he easily decided to make some for mila<3

when jeno stopped her from tripping

this was kind of a shock for everyone imo??

like, it's not CRAZY or anything, i just have never seen mila have any other problems walking in heels before.

but whatever, she still slayed💅🏻

anyways, at the 2020 asia artist awards, nct dream won the award for best emotive award - music.

all 8 of them stood up and walked up the stairs to the stage. though the order left mila and jeno at the back of the line.

they were all wearing matching black suits, except that mila was wearing 6 INCH HEELS instead of normal dress shoes like the guys were.

and these were like STILETTOS!! super hard to walk in for no reason

now we all know that mila can walk in heels. we've seen her slay in some stilettos in the past.

but, that does not take away from the fact that mila has said on many different occasions that she does not like wearing heels.

now, since she already doesn't like them, why on earth would the staff put her in 6 INCH STILETTOS?????? makes no sense

anyway, as she was stepping up onto the stairs, she stumbled and almost fell backwards into jeno.

jeno, of course, being the gentleman he is, caught her gently by her waist and quickly got her back onto her feet. he then made sure she was steady up the stairs by holding his hand.

once they were at the top of the 5 or so steps, he linked their arms together and walked with the rest of the group to the award presenter.

once they finished that and went back to their seats, mila and jeno were also at the end of the line because they knew mila would need a bit longer to go down the steps.

jeno went in front of her and held her hand down the stairs so she wouldn't fall 🫶🏻

haechan getting mad about mila's sasaeng

woo, this one is already making me mad, and i haven't even written anything yet😡

so, mila's infamous evil sasaeng. the one that broke into the dream dorm and attacked mila while the members were sleeping. (a/n : there will be a fic in detail on this soon!!)

not much is known in detail about this incident. all we have is the account of the sasaeng herself and the statements that have been made by SM and the members.

but what we do know is that there was a big change in how the members treated her after this happened.

there was also a big change in mila.

mila went from being happy and giddy to being quiet and reserved for the first time in a while. this was not too long after her nct2018 hardships as well, so that made everyone even more angry as it seemed like she could never catch a break.

the members, most noticeably the dreamies, all became more cold for lack of a better word.

they would go outside and have this slight look of betrayal on their faces. they would not be as happy or smiley, they would tell less jokes.

everyone was just upset.

however, haechan was arguably one of the most upset ones.

as we know, haechan is mila's roommate in the 127 dorm. but, mila also has her own room in the dream dorm, which is why she constantly moves around and splits her time between the 2 dorms. mila has said that she stays at the dream dorm more often when she does not have promotions because she likes it better over there and she likes having her own room.

so having her personal space and safety violated like this in the place that she calls "home" is just disgusting to me.

haechan went on vlive a few days after the statements were released to talk about the situation.

"how is mila doing?" he reads before placing his phone down and covering his mouth with his hands while thinking about what to say. "she's okay. she's not great, but she's doing her best. she's been staying in the 127 dorm with us. she hasn't even gone over to the dream dorm since what happened." he pauses, looking down before taking a breath in. he looks back up at the camera with a low glare, not doing a good job at trying to hide it. "mila is afraid to sleep, hell, even be in her own dorm now because of you... i hope you are ashamed of the damage you have caused." he speaks bitterly, his words obviously directed at the sasaeng.

he ended the live not long after, giving a short message to please not wait outside their dorms anymore.

mila not having money on a show to buy ice cream, so doyoung and yuta buy it for her

just mila being the cutest once again, what do ya know.

everyone was buying treats and snacks on this nct life show but mila didn't have any money :((((

she was so excited to go into the store and get snacks, but then she just went 😯😕

she quickly tried to wipe off her frown and look around the store anyway, not wanting her members to think she was upset.

when everyone had finished picking out their snacks and were in line to purchase them, taeyong noticed that mila didn't have anything.

"mila, why aren't you getting anything?" he asks, a gentle smile on his face. johnny also listens for her response. "i don't have any money." she replies, shrugging. "aigoo, i'm sure we can get you something." he pats her shoulder before going up to yuta and doyoung at the front of the line, just behind taeil who was buying his items. "doyoungie, yuta~," he calls. "yes?" they answer. "do you mind buying some snacks for our miely? she doesn't have any money." the leader asks. their eyes widen. "of course!! you can get anything you want, mila!! just be quick!" yuta says, and they grin at her. she smiles and perks up. "okay!! thank you!" she says before quickly jogging back into the ice cream aisle and picking up an oreo cone, then she goes and gets some chocolate. she brings them up to the counter with yuta and doyoung's things. "you sure you don't want anything else?" doyoung asks. "no, this is okay." she smiles. they pay for it, and she is beaming on the way out.

they would do anything for her🥹❤️‍🩹

jaemin, jeno, and mark all being attentive when mila stands up because she gets dizzy

a/n : you're just going to have to imagine that it is mila sitting in the first photo with a member in front of her and that there is no skateboard in the second photo

nctzens have thought for a long time that mila is anemic.

this is due to mila's repeated mentionings that whenever she stands up or even sits up in some cases, she feels dizzy, gets tunnel vision, and gets black spots in her vision as well. she said that these are her most frequent symptoms, but they can get worse, including fainting and having her ears ring.

mila has never confirmed her having anemia. the last time she spoke of the rumors was back in 2021 where she said, "I'm not sure if i have anemia... my older sister has the same symptoms as me, but when she went to the doctor, she was told she didn't have anemia. what i can confirm is that i have low blood pressure. i'm not sure why, as high blood pressure actually runs in my family, but that has been present since i was a child. and i have talked to a doctor about this in the past, uh... orthostatic hypotension? that's what she said my symptoms sounded like. czennies, I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me but thank you for the concern!"

despite no definitive diagnosis for what happens to her, it doesn't stop the other members from caring for her well.

one key example of this happened in episode 6 of chillin' in the dream 8lace. mila was refusing to get up out of bed so jaemin went in to get her. he pulled her to stand up from where she was laying quite quickly, causing her to say, "ah, jaemin, jaem, jaem, slowly, slowly, slowly! i'm dizzy." quickly remembering her condition, jaemin stopped and helped her stand up slowly, allowing her to adjust, all while holding her hands in case she were to fall over.

though this was one instance that jaemin forgot about her condition, there have been many other clips of the boys watching her get up carefully.

most of the time it is subtle actions, such as the members simply keeping an eye on her or lending a hand out to keep her steady. they often let mila walk in front of them just to prevent the possibility of her falling with no one to catch her as she often tries to power through her dizziness, thus making her more dizzy.

renjun and chenle always being sweet and helpful when she tries to speak chinese

mila tries so hard to work on her chinese these days :(( i cry

like my gal speaks 2 languages like a NATIVE and then has borderline fluency in 2 MORE, and is still trying to learn 2 MORE

like gal 😭 i can barely speak my native language (i only speak one language)

she is such an overachiever and FOR WHYYYY

but i love her 🫶🏻

though she often ends up thanking the fans in english (when mark isn't there) and in japanese, once mila tried to thank them briefly in chinese!!

mila has said before that she used to study chinese quite a bit back in 2016 when she was really close with winwin and chenle, but since then, she became more focused on japanese and lost time to study it.

she has always said that chinese was really hard for her just because of dealing with the characters. this is why she is quite good at speaking chinese but not good at reading it!

however, we all know mila is quite emotive when presenting and giving speeches, so her tones often fluctuate with her words. this was another issue for mila as she struggled to remember the tones of the words and tried to keep her voice at a neutral level.

yet despite all of these struggles, mila had been giving a short thank you to their chinese fans at an award show when she stammered and forgot what she was saying.

though this is totally normal for a foreigner trying to speak another language, mila is always super prepared for foreign language speeches, so she was caught a little off-guard.

her face went a little red, and she apologized before turning around to chenle and renjun on her left.

they were both looking at her with the cutest and most loving smiles🥹

the crowd gave some encouraging cheers as mila spoke to them for only a few seconds before turning back to the microphone and finishing her speech like a champ🫶🏻

it's just so cute to me that renle + wayV taught mila all the chinese she knows and how she's still so good at it

and how proud of her they are🥹

we choose to forget when mila was first learning chinese and renjun told her he was teaching her how to introduce herself but she was really insulting herself😭

jeno allowing her to sleep on his shoulder comfortably

mila is such a HARDWORKER!!!!!

if you disagree, you're literally wrong.

she does not have credits on almost every SM release after 2017 fOR NOTHING

so, because of her tendency to overwork herself and prioritise work over sleep and her well-being, the boys are always the first people to let her sleep instead of waking her up if they need something.

it always pains them a little bit to wake her up, even if they are about to be late because they tried to let her sleep in.

basically, if mila is showing ANY signs of being tired (it could literally be rubbing her eyes), they boys are instantly: "PLEASE SLEEP"

so, when the dreamies were in a van going to a mystery location for a fun video, mila unsurprisingly, grew drowsy.

mila was sitting next to jeno in the backseat of this van, steadily growing more and more tired.

but knowing mila, she tried to keep herself awake, not letting herself lean on the window or on her hand. this lead to her dozing off while sitting straight up, her head bobbing down lightly.

jeno was looking at his phone, not paying attention to her.

until he saw her drooping head and was like 😶

he froze for a second before slowly and gently pressing mila's head down to his shoulder, sitting up a little bit so it would be more comfortable for her.

mila did not object. she was so fucking tired.

jeno was so proud of himself as he felt mila kinda relax into him and let more of her weight rest on his shoulder.

he looked up a little with a 😌 look on his face to see jaemin filming him with a grin.

no words are exchanged as jeno's smile grows, and jaemin chuckles quietly before showing a thumbs up to the camera.

jisung and renjun sharing their umbrellas with her

now, while i'm sure all of the members would share their umbrellas with mila under the circumstance that she did not have one, we only have video evidence and jisung and renjun doing so <3

so, on this day where it was raining as nct dream were going to a schedule, mila did not have an umbrella

sooo many fans tried to spin this as mila being mistreated by the staff since all of the boys had umbrellas until another clip was released of mila giving her umbrella to a staff member

the staff repeatedly shook her head and refused, wanting mila to keep it, but she did not accept no for an answer and smiled big when the staff finally accepted.

some bodyguards around quickly tried to cover mila's head with their hands to protect her from the rain, thus catching the attention of jisung and renjun.

they both quickly came over, pushing their umbrellas toward her and not on themselves

mila immediately pushed their umbrellas back over their own heads and shooed them away.

they didn't let up and kept trying to talk to her for a few seconds.

mila laughs lightly and goes next to renjun under his umbrella, leaving jisung with a slight pout on his face.

"you're too big to share an umbrella!" mila exclaims, causing them all to laugh. the rest of their dialogue could not be heard in the video, this was the only thing intelligible.

with content expressions, mila goes under renjun's umbrella and they both put arms around each other; mila's arm going around his waist and renjun's arm going over her shoulders as they walk the short distance to the building.

nct 127 following the sidewalk rule

since the newly publicised "sidewalk rule" on social media, nctzens have brought up all the times that they have preached this before its popularity.

it's not seen as often with nct dream as every time they try (usually renjun, jeno, & jisung), mila just pushes them off and doesn't move.

this leads the boy to be very 🤨😖 because this is what their hyungs taught them to do???? why is she not accepting this gesture that the hyungs do all the time????

so, the dreamies don't really do it anymore, they just keep a watchful eye when she likes to balance on the curb of a busy road.

127 and even wayV however, are a different story.

maybe it's because they're older, but mila always listens when they guide her over to the non-road side of a sidewalk.

sometimes she looks a little 🤨 when her arm gets tugged away, but then she realises where she's standing.

most commonly, the members dragging her away from the cars are taeyong, johnny, kun, xiaojun, and doyoung. but there have been times where ten, jaehyun, and jungwoo have done it.

in the back of many nct 127 videos, most notably the ones where they are exploring the usa, mila can be seen being ushered away from the road by one or two of the members above.

it's just super cute and makes all czennies swoon over the neos' politeness 😵‍💫

the dreamies comforting her when she tries to be strong🥹

this day is not to be confused with the 191117 dream show ending meant!!!

a/n : lmk if i should make something that says in detail what mila said in her ending ment on the 191117 show!!

this was the first of the three dream shows back to back (191115).

mila said her ment not long after jisung did, so she was already emotional when it got to her turn.

jisung was crying as he tried to say his ment, so mila was already sad because she went to comfort him.

now mila HATES seeing jisung cry because it almost always makes her cry with him, so she was hugging jisung (not photo) before her turn.

she had intended for her ment to go a different route, but when it was her turn to talk, she just kinda let her words take her, not following her originally planned direction.

"aw... it's only the first day of the dream show, and i'm already crying ㅠㅠ i thought i would at least be able to be calm on the first day. but because of jisung~~ he made me sad ☹️." there is a brief pause where mila just looks around at the crowd with stars in her eyes. "but really, i can't blame him..." she looks down and swallows thickly before looking back up and blinking back her tears. the other members make various noises of teasing and telling her not to cry, some even coming closer, but mila takes a step back and laughs, telling them to go away. "no, no, i'm okay. i just need a second..." she flaps her hands as a way of shooing them, obviously growing more uneasy, stressed, and upset. with a deep breath, she starts again. "the members don't know this but," she starts, gaining the attention of all the boys. "before the show started today, i was crying in the bathroom because i was worried that this would be the start of our last shows and they wouldn't be strong enough... and i can't help but feel like it's my fault because..." she looks down again, this time for longer as she tries to hold back her tears. she doesn't succeed. tears fall, and her breathing starts to turn into small gasps and hiccups. chenle and haechan both come closer to her, haechan saying "aigoo, mila-yah..." and chenle saying something like "no, that's not..." and mila just taking a step back and flapping her hands to get them not to touch her. she knows that if she lets them comfort her, she will start crying. she wants to finish her ment first. "because i have had big inputs on nct dream's music, and if it's coming to an end..." a particular gasp leaves her lips with a small cry that reaches the microphone, making the crowd whine. the boys come up to her again. she tries to push them away again, but not as much as before. "...then i must have done something wrong." she cries, a deep wail leaving her chest as her hands come to cover her face, muffling her gasps but still allowing them to be picked up by the microphone. the crowd goes quiet, save for the growing volume of whines and telling her that's not true. jaemin pulls her into him, and she wraps her arms around him tightly, her cries into him now being picked up by his mic. chenle, haechan, and jeno are all around them rubbing mila's back as renjun tries to talk while comforting jisung at the same time, who had grown emotional all over again by mila's words.

in less than 2 minutes, mila had pulled away, immediately being met by the faces of her members, presumably asking if she was okay, to which she nods. a tissue is given to her by haechan and she dabs her face clean of tears while fanning her face. chenle helps fan her face, as well.

she keeps the tissue in her hand to repeatedly wipe her running nose as the others continue talking. chenle stays next to her this whole time with his arm around her and his head on her shoulder.

when mila twitched in her sleep and yuta helped 🥹

a/n : you're just going to have to imagine that mila is sleeping in the second one and not on her phone :)

it is a somewhat well-known fact that during stressful times, mila twitches in her sleep.

this info is not from sasaengs btw!!! mila has said this herself along with the members🥰

mila has said that she has done this since she was a kid and it usually means that she is juuust on the edge of falling asleep but not actually asleep.

this is why she hates it.

her stress prevents her from falling asleep when she so desperately needs it.

she will be drifting until she twitches and then she's awake again ☹️

so, when nct 127 were getting ready for a favorite (vampire) stage, mila fell asleep on one of the dressing room sofas while waiting for her turn for her makeup and hair.

in the background of an nct 127 fun video (like in the dressing room) she was waiting on the couch patiently when yuta sat down after finishing his look. she casually laid her head in his lap, which was nothing unusual (as we all know how much she loves yuta🤭)

she scrolled on her phone for a bit, not paying attention to anything and not being bothered by the conversations of her members and the staff.

eventually, she plopped her phone next to her face on the couch and closed her eyes, not moving at all from her original position.

due to her lack of movement, yuta thought that she was still awake. this was until the twitching started. yuta knew what it meant when mila started twitching like this, so he took a quick look at her, saw she was sleeping and leaning back in his spot before bringing his free hand to her hair.

he knew how much mila LOVES having her hair played with and how much it calms her down.

he softly twirled the strands and gave her head a light massage, instantly stopping her twitching and allowing her to sleep calmly before getting ready.

when mila had to be woken up for her turn in the hair and makeup chair, yuta pleaded for her to go last so she could get some extra rest in 🥹

when it was really time, and she had to go, yuta woke her up gently with a pout, cooing at her tired face

mila collapsing on stage

as stated previously, we all know about mila's low blood pressure. this causes her to become dizzy, faint, etc.

but there is one more thing i have neglected to talk about as i do not want to interpret it incorrectly.

and that is mila's history with eating disorders.

everything i will say has already been said by mila herself, her members, or SM.

mila has always had problems not eating enough throughout her entire childhood due to her dedication to her craft(s).

when she was really young and did gymnastics and dance, she would often forget to eat and just do acrobatics the whole day.

this is extremely unhealthy and dangerous as both gymnastics and dance are very demanding sports and require lots of sustenance.

regardless, mila has managed to take care of herself up until around late 2017-early 2018.

mila said that due to a multitude of things that i will not be getting into right now, she spent all of her time working in the studio producing/writing music or perfecting routines, and working on singing/raps. at this time she also focused her remaining time on her studies for her end-of-high school exams.

mila said that during this point in her life, she felt "guilty" taking time out just for herself. she felt like she always needed to be doing something productive.

food did not fall into this category.

mila would sacrifice eating over completing her schoolwork and idol/producer duties.

this caused her to experience a lot of burnout and to faint often because of stress and malnutrition.

though since then, mila has recovered, and takes care of herself (according to her and the members), she still has times where she can revert slightly.

like i said, she has been somewhat this way since she was a child, so it is easy to forget.

one big example of this was in early 2020 after a kick it stage.

this was one of those prerecorded stages due to covid starting to affect the industry.

mila slayed the stage, giving her all and doing her absolute best. you could not notice anything wrong when she was performing.

but after the cameras cut, and all that was left was stuff that would not go on tv, mila collapsed.

she was stood in her ending position, waiting for all the cameras to cut. she wasn't really paying attention, but in the video, you could see just how fast she was breathing and that she was swaying slightly in her stance.

once the other members moved and began to bow to the staff, mila's knees just crumbled, and she fell.

she landed on her knees and hands, her hair covering her face as she heaved in air. then she slumped over kinda on her stomach but still on her knees and elbows.

the other members didn't do anything for a moment. it's unclear whether they didn't notice or if they thought she was just tired from the demanding routine.

the first member to go over to her was taeyong. he looked a little nervous and kinda speed-walked over to her.

he crouched down next to her and moved to look at her face, moving some of her hair out of the way.

none of what they are saying can be heard, so all that we can assume is that he was asking her if she was okay.

he gets her to sit up and holds both of her hands in his. her eyes are closed, and she's still breathing heavily, obviously still really tired.

he asks her something else, and she shakes her head weakly before starting to slump over again. taeyong looks around for a moment before standing halfway up and pulling mila up with him.

she picks her up bridal style with mila barely clinging onto him as he carries her offstage. her eyes are closed as he does this.

there was a lot of fan uproar at this. fans were attacking SM for making her work so hard and demanding to give her more rest.

there was no response or acknowledgement from SM, the nct members, or mila herself.

when mila fell asleep on vlive

this vlive is actually one of my favorites just because of this interaction!!

it's just so sweet!!!

so basically, mila was on vlive in her shared room with haechan at the 127 dorm.

this had been after a day of schedules (we don't know exactly what) and she was just chitchatting about what happened that day and some things she saw on social media.

this wasn't unusual as mila had been going live more recently when this happened.

mila did say that the schedule ran a little later that day and that she was tired but that she also wanted to stay up and talk with czennies <333.

however, about 25 mins into the live, mila had been laying on her bed with the phone leaning against her open laptop screen. her head was resting on her folded elbows as she read the comments and talked contently.

due to this position and her growing tiredness, it was not difficult for mila to fall asleep.

fans thought that she was just resting her eyes for a moment and that she was still awake until it had been like 2 minutes of pure silence.

then all the comments were mixtures of "omg is mila asleep???" and "she's so cute aaaaa" and "sm really needs to let her rest smh"

she had only been out for around 10 minutes when haechan came in.

they share this room, so it is not a surprise that he came in unannounced.

the door cannot be seen from the vlive, but it can be heard closing and footsteps getting closer.

haechan appears behind mila to the side and quietly says "aigoo, mila fell asleep with her laptop on, let's fix this for my twin, eh?" he then reaches for her hands to move them off the keyboard to close the laptop when he notices that her phone is actually on vlive😭. "oh! hello~~" he greets cutely, giving a wave as he picks up the phone. "thank you for watching over mila, czennies. i will take over and make sure that she sleeps well! goodnight!"

he then ends the live, and we can assume that he finished getting all her stuff away so she could sleep<3

afterwards, on twitter, haechan was trending for being a lovely caring member as he acted so sweet without even knowing that he was being recorded

johnny stopping mila from falling off stage

okayyyy, so we all know that mila isn't clumsy, as she loves to remind us, but she lowkey is (don't tell her i said that).

so what transpired, was during the singapore show on the neo city - the origin tour in 2019. the stage was kinda an upside-down T shape with a little B-stage at the end.

mila was not paying attention to anything other than nctzens <3.

during replay (am 1:27), mila was looking into the crowd, as she does, with that big smile on her face.

she was squinting a bit, trying to read some of the signs that fans had up while also trying to dance around at the same time.

she was at the part in the stage where the B-stage starts. at the corner, she was leaning over to look at something. she was standing on that lower platform next to the stage that looks like she's on stage, but she's not really on it, you know???

anyway, once she finished reading, she turned towards the catwalk again and quite literally STEPPED OFF THE FUCKING STAGE

and she says she's not clumsy😑

but THANK GOD johnny was coming to the B-stage and was at the end of the catwalk. he SNATCHED her up and carried her for a few seconds before putting her down in the middle of the B-stage, where he was sure she couldn't fall off.

he looked at her for a minute, hands on her shoulders as they talked. none of what they were saying was picked up by their microphones, so we don't know what they said🤷‍♀️

mila nodded at him, and they both walked back down the catwalk to the main stage with hands around each other. probably just johnny being extra cautious now😖

none of the other members seemed to notice (probably a good thing because you KNOW taeyong would have scolded her).

after the show, mila went on her bubble to respond to czennies.

"i fell off the stage? no i didn't!!!! you're lying!!!" she joked with lots of emojis. she thanked them for their concern and promised it wouldn't happen again <3.

renjun yelling at the sasaengs calling her😳

i do not want to be on renjun's bad side 😳😳😳😳

so this happened in late 2019 when mila, renjun, jeno, and jaemin were all doing a vlive together.

it's very similar to what happened to jeno on the 200114 vlive with renjun, chenle and jeno.

mila was trying to read the comments on their vlive on her phone but she couldn't because sasaengs kept calling her.

she didn't even bat an eye as she repeatedly swiped the calls away, declining them and going back to what she was trying to do.

but IT WAS CONSTANT!!!

this was like 30 calls in 2 minutes like GALLLLLL

with each call, you could see mila growing more and more irritated with her side eyes to the camera :(

it got really bad when she tried to show something to the camera, and she got a call, so she swiped it away and showed the camera again. then she got another call, swiped it away and tried to show her screen again. when she got a third call, renjun stood up and took her phone from her hand, saying "give it to me"

he walked out of frame and began yelling at the sasaeng (as he should 💅🏻)

mila looked at him like 😳😏😊 and then started talking really loudly to cover up what renjun was saying.

it's hard to make out, but renjun can be heard yelling at the sasaengs saying things like "stop calling mila or else i will report your number and press charges"

basically scary renjun

he came and sat back down like 😒 and mila smiled at him and gave him a side hug to express her gratefulness <3333

"i hope you all enjoyed this video!! please keep supporting nct and their activities! stay tuned for my next video! bye!!!"

[skelexguts]

HEY. YOU,, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR ME RAMBLING ABOUT MY COMFORT/FAVORITE CHARACTERS FOR A MOMENT,, ILL TAKE IT AS A YES!!!

Bubba is such a good potential character in writing, honestly he’s like a “that one friend/dad friend who gives wise advice” vibes, I’ve this headcanon that bubba definitely a gifted kid that experience burnout from being pressured onto himself on unrealistic expectations and has a fear that he’ll be a failure.

Add more to this; Bubba probably experienced this due to stress and so much pressure onto himself and don’t want to be a failure to his friends not to mention that he’s a person pleaser which already causes him to not take care of himself.

Yet people overlook him as “ Mr-knows-it-all” like just let him educate his friends, as I headcanon that he has trouble with his emotions cause of bottling up his feelings because he doesn’t want his friends to see that he’s such a mess on the inside.

Adding more bc yes; the cause of bubba experience mental burnout is probably from his parents since in my headcanon that his parents put alot of pressure on him to try to help bubba to be becoming a doctor or a lawyer just like the rest of his family, which cause him to have unrealistic expectations onto himself and even when he did reach one of his goals, he felt like it’s not good enough and tries hard to the point, bubba gets tired both emotionally and physically.

But as it continues, with all the academic pressure and his high expectations get into his head, it causes him to ignore his well mentally being and not take care of himself such as his sleep and eating patterns and the lack of sleep, with this happening, his friends started to worrying about him especially Kickin, who sometimes help bubba getting out of his comfort zone by going out and hang out together just having fun also helping bubba to not overworked about his studies, but even with that, Bubba felt like he doesn’t have a purpose at the moment that cause more mental issues.

Another thing I’m going to add is Bubba has anxiety and bit of social issues due to gifted child syndrome as well as having insecurities about his intelligence and low self esteem also feeling emotionally numb inside as well as irritability and many more.

Last thing to finally finish to say; if the smiling critters was an actual cartoon, I imagine an episode that focuses on Bubba and how burn can affect on children especially those who are gifted, with bubba having a panic attack or even mental breakdown and let his emotions out in front of his friends, then the critters comfort him and tells them that he’s not a failure and tells and even educate him the importance of self care also told him that he need deserve a break as well give support and love in the end!!

It would be great concept for an episode to educate children or even everyone about burnout and gifted child syndrome and how to help and support them as well learning about mental health and how to improve in many different ways.

Well that’s it!! I hope y’all enjoy me rambling about bubba, he’s one of my favorite and comfort characters and I have to give him justice, he like a son to me fr!!!

[lionlena]

You need a better place (Joelxreader)

So I got a request from @rm4sblog

Could you write something about Joel loving a girl with epilepsy, taking care of her, helping her, comforting her, and dealing with the memory loss and other side effects of seizures?

I agreed because the topic of epilepsy is not completely foreign to me. My cat suffers from epilepsy and unfortunately, I have seen his seizures. Of course, it's not the same as human epilepsy, but there are some similarities. Even the medications are so similar that my cat can take human medications.

I hope you will like it.

Warnings: chronic illness, epilepsy, epileptic seizure, anxiety, mention of death risk, hurt/comfort, little angst, little smut (bc you wanted, I guess)

Having epilepsy would suck in the ordinary world. In a pandemic world, that was fucking bad. It was hard to predict when you'd have an attack. Sometimes all it took was someone to shine a flashlight in your eyes. Other times, a stressful situation was enough.

So... As if everything was stressful during the pandemic. And you had a hard time finding a job. Your options were really limited. Even if you were a great shooter, this encounter with the clicker would probably end in your defeat. You would have an epilepsy attack and no weapon would help you.

Of course, there were drugs that helped you. They reduced the frequency and length of attacks, but they weren't easy to get. You'd never get them yourself. You probably would have died long ago if it wasn't Joel who help you.

Ever since you met this surly, rough, soft-hearted guy, your life has changed for the better. Sometimes you didn't know what made Joel Miller love you so much. How did you deserve such a man? He was tough and brutal on the outside with other people, but in the privacy of your apartment, he treated you like a princess. And he hated it when you said you were "broken." Then he would immediately silence you with a kiss, cup your cheeks and look at you with those brown eyes: "Shhh, sweetheart. You're perfect. If any one of us is broken, it's me and only me."

Nothing in the world would make him leave you. Though sometimes you would that he to leave you.

You loved him like no one else in the world, but when you saw how he risked it to get you medicine, your heart broke. Every time you wiped the blood from his face, when you massaged his tense back when you waited for him to come home, when he left the quarantine zone.

Sometimes you've wondered if, for his sake, you shouldn't rejected him. Tell him he's too old for you, that you don't love him. You would hurt him for his own good.

But the selfish part of you couldn't do that. Because you've never been as happy with anyone as you have been with Joel. There were good days, weeks, and even months when you didn't have a seizure.

And there were days when Joel would throw you on the bed and cover your naked body with kisses. And you let him whisper in your ear all the dirty things he could think of. You screamed his name as his head was between your legs and his tongue worked wonders on your clit.

You tugged at his hair and kissed him deeply, letting him know that he was the sexiest man in the whole fucked up world. You praised his cock and laughed at the soft pink that covered his cheeks. Your man was so insecure at times, and you always made sure he knew how wonderful he was.

Maybe that's why he loved you?                                                         

But why did he also love you during the attacks? That was definitely the shitty part of your relationship. There was absolutely nothing romantic about the attacks. It was awful and embarrassing. And yet, Joel always made sure he gave you as much comfort and love as possible after the attack.

So it was also this time.

You had such a good day. Somehow Joel managed to get some chocolate and you decided to make chocolate chip cookies. The whole apartment smelled wonderful, soft music played on the radio. Joel was sitting on the couch impatiently waiting for his sweets. And then it happened.

You just felt your whole body tense up. Anxiety gripped you. You started to be afraid, even though there was no reason to be afraid. A slight numbness in the hand was the final signal. You only managed to moan, "Jo..."

You couldn't remember the rest.

*

Joel jumped off the couch but didn't catch you in time. Your limp body hit the floor with a thud. You had convulsions that shook your body. Joel knelt behind your head, holding it gently. Just so you don't hit yourself too hard. He made sure you didn't choke on your tongue during the attack and spoke to you calmly, "It'll pass soon, baby. I'm here. I won't leave you. Everything will be fine." He knew you couldn't hear him. You once explained to him that you were simply not there during the attack. You felt no pain and heard nothing. Yet he always spoke to you. Maybe because it calmed him down.

After about two minutes, your seizure subsided and Joel couldn't be happier.

*

The first thing you saw was warm brown eyes. You blinked your eyes and looked around. You didn't remember anything and wanted to cry, but then you felt his warm hand on your cheek and heard his soothing voice.

"Y/N, it's me, Joel. Everything's fine now. You're home, you had a seizure."

He gave you a moment to process his words, then asked:

"Can I lift you up?"

You nodded and he carefully took you in his arms and carried you to the bed. He sat you down, making sure you had the right amount of pillows behind your back. He stroked your leg and whispered, "I'll bring you water. I'll be right back."

You slowly came back to yourself. When Joel came back to you, you smiled weakly at him. You were still dazed, but you also wanted to calm him down. No matter how many times Joel told you he was fine. You saw that every attack reflected on him as well.

"Thank you," you whispered as he brought the glass to your lips. "For all."

Joel shook his head and kissed your forehead.

"I always will care for you. You are my love"

You opened your mouth to say something but chose not to. There was no point in explaining to him again that he had no obligation to help you. Joel wouldn't agree with that anyway.

You sat in silence for a few more minutes before Joel said,

"You should take your meds."

You tensed up and grabbed his hand.

"I'll take them later. Sit with me."

Joel rolled his eyes and pecked your nose: "I'll be right back and lay down next to you."

And you already knew you were in trouble. When Joel came back, he had this look on his face that made it clear he wasn't happy. He crossed his arms over his chest and asked.

"Y/N, why are there still so many pills? Last time I checked there were about the same amount of pills." Seeing how sad he made you, he sat next to you and grabbed your hands. "Honey?" His tone of voice was soft again.

You bit your lip and groaned.

"I wanted to save them for later so you don't have to go so fast to get another."

Joel sighed heavily and shook his head.

"But why?"

You could see that he was angry with you, but he tried to hide it.

"Because after the last time, you came back covered in bruises. One day, because of me, you're going to die, Joel!"

Tears started streaming down your face and he pulled you against his strong chest. One of his large hands cupped the back of your head. He kissed your temple and started rocking you gently.

"Shh, it's okay. Calm down. Don't get upset honey. I know you're worried about me, but I'm more worried about you." You felt him squeeze your body tighter, his voice a barely audible whisper. "What if one of the attacks ends in your death? You know it can be. I can't take your loss. I can't go on living without you."

You sighed heavily and started rubbing his back.

"I'm sorry, Joel, but... Sometimes it's so hard for me to accept that you sacrifice so much for me."

Joel pulled back slightly and cupped your face in his large hands.

"Hey, what if I told you I have a plan." You gave him a surprised look. "I'm looking for a better place for us. A place where life is calmer. A place where there's no fucking FEDRA and no fucking Fireflies. A place where you'd have less stress, so fewer attacks." He smiled at you. "How does it sound?"

"Like a fairy tale," you replied.

Joel shifted on the bed so that you could lie down with your head resting on his chest. He started stroking your hair. You were slowly falling asleep. Before you closed your eyes you heard Joel say:

"I will make this fairy tale come true, princess."

*

[miel-ji]

Something Changed

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst, happy ending

Paring: Jisung x fem!reader, barista!Jisung, bestie!felix, Seungmin and Hyunjin are also there

Word count: 5.7k

Warnings: partying, drinking, drunk people, mentions of smoking, implied hookups, some language, kiss scene

Summary: You’re going to your first ever party in university (partly because a certain barista invited you). You swear he’s been flirting with you, but maybe he’s just really friendly with everyone?

A/N: This is my very first writing ever. I have no previous experience and tbh my grammar probably isn’t the best but yeah, I just had the urge to create something. I was feeling kind of down today so I used this as an outlet. Bc of that some of the lines might be cringy and it may be just a bit over dramatic but I still think it’s fun. Plus, it was on an iPhone so I have no idea how the formatting will come out lmao If you did read and enjoy it, thank you so much!

You’ve finally done it. You’ve finally gone to a party where the parents have been replaced with alcohol, and you have to admit that you’re a little terrified. Especially since you knew that Jisung was there which was a common factor as to why you’re at the party in the first place and feeling how you are.

Over the course of a couple months, you’d developed a crush on the barista at the local coffee shop who’d specifically invited you to this party. Of course you had to come, not only for Jisung, but it excited you to be able to have one of those classic youthful experiences like going to university parties.

You knew how to have fun, but you also knew your friends would rely on you to be the sober one and keep them out of trouble. Being the only one sober at one of these parties definitely was not going to happen. You also struggled with getting out of your comfort zone evident with the twinges of anxiety stabbing in your gut as you stared at the frat house overflowing with lights, music, and people from your friend, Felix’s car.

Your breathing started to get heavier as you clutched the edges of your seat at the thought of joining the noise, but Felix put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay,” his soothing deep voice ceased the buzzing in your ears, and he offered you a comforting smile. “You can do this. And I’ll stay by you for as long as you need.”

“I know,” you groaned and leaned your head back against the headrest. “Thank you, Lix. I’ll try not to keep you from having too much fun.”

“We’re going to have fun no matter what we do. If we join in with the people, or find our own space to party.” Felix laughed a little and wiggled in his seat to mimic the dancing he would do at your mini party.

You laughed along with him feeling a little more relaxed before another voice piped up, “Is Jisung invited to this space?” Seungmin asked, smirking a little and leaning in from the middle backseat to properly insert himself in the conversation.

Your ears started to heat up once Seungmin mentioned his name, and you could feel the butterflies building in your stomach. Felix shot him a playful look before turning back to you, “I’m sure he’d say yes.”

“Oh my god,” you laughed and your hands flew to cover your face. “How about we just go to the party first and then worry about Jisung?”

“Sounds good to me, let’s go!” Seungmin answered before enthusiastically climbing out of the back seat.

~~~

Felix started working at the coffee shop a couple months ago which is how he met Jisung. They became quick friends, and Felix wanted to introduce you, joking that he’d found your ideal type. One day when you were ordering your coffee, Felix was already bringing you up to Jisung in the corner of the shop while cleaning.

Before you knew it, Jisung was calling you over to chat, and you couldn’t help but feel a slight blush creep up on you when you realized Felix was right. He was your ideal type. He had a brilliant smile that left you a bit dazed and unaware of the matching one you now wore. It lit up his whole face, and he radiated a certain charming quality that made you feel like you’ve already been friends for years. He had fluffy black hair that fell over his beautiful deep brown eyes that focused on you like you were the only person present.

“Hey, I’m Jisung. Felix was just telling me about you. You must be… y/n.”

Oh, the way he said your name. Say it again. “Yeah, hi. Felix has told me a bit about you too.” Your face felt warm. Please don’t be blushing.

“Oh, really?” He quirked an eyebrow and looked back at Felix who was already slipping away to the back. “Yo, Felix! Where’re you going?” Felix pretended not to hear as the door swung closed behind him, and Jisung turned back to you laughing. His whole face scrunched up as he laughed which caused his cheeks to look even puffier. “Well if it was in the same way he was talking about you, then I’m sure it was all good things.”

“Felix is such a sweetheart. He just likes to talk a lot apparently. But yes, all good things. I think he really likes working with you.”

He propped his elbows on the high table beside him, and leaned closer to you. “He’s a pretty cool guy. Have you been friends for long?”

You found yourself moving forward a little towards Jisung on the other side of the table. “Yeah, all through university actually.”

“Ah, so you go to the university here? What’s your major?”

“I major in biology. What about you? Do you go there?”

“Yeah, I’m a music major,” he dropped his gaze for a second looking a little shy before asking more about you. “What do you want to do after uni?”

“I wish I was talented enough to be a music major. I was thinking-“ you were cut off before you could finish by Jisung’s boss calling him over to talk.

He gave you an apologetic smile before starting to move away, “it was nice to meet you, y/n.” You really like how he said your name. He walked off to his boss while you said goodbye and waved a little.

~~~

After that first encounter with Jisung, Felix picked up on the fact that you were attracted to him. Each time you came to the coffee shop, Felix immediately asked if you wanted to speak with Jisung before leaving to fetch him for you. You weren’t the best at picking up signs, but was Jisung flirting with you? He was always smiling at you, and he seemed interested in asking you questions about yourself. And the way he spoke kind of low and casual seemed… different.

But he was probably used to charming people in order to get tips when making coffee. Why were you any different? That was until Felix mentioned one day that Jisung had called you pretty. You were having a studying session in your dorm with each of you studying your own subjects separately since Felix was a different major too. He had gotten tired of the textbooks and decided to start talking about things that happened at work when he so casually mentioned it. You were so flattered and giddy in that moment that you maybe had a chance.

As Felix and Jisung became closer, Jisung started to hang out with him outside of class. Felix decided not to tell you this when he invited you to karaoke night at the apartment he was sharing with your other friends Seungmin and Hyunjin. Even though you felt like the only one out of the group who wasn’t gifted musically, they still made it fun. Often they opted to sing in a silly manner anyway, but Seungmin did occasionally belt out a ballad that left you all in awe.

You arrived at the apartment when Jisung was the first to notice waving at you from the couch, “Y/n! How are you?”

You tried to laugh a little to hide your nervousness as you weren’t expecting to see him there. “Jisung, hey! I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Hope you don’t mind,” a slight smirk was present as he gazed up at you. You wish you knew him a little more to tell if these flirtatious mannerisms were special or not.

Staying in your comfort zone entailed that you shied away from people and kept to yourself, but you got sick of always having missed opportunities. You’d promised to yourself to take those chances even when anxiety latched onto your shoulders and tried to drag you back into yourself. With Jisung it felt even easier to keep that promise.

So without thinking, you plopped down on the couch next to him, “not at all.” You replied.

He once again leaned in closer to you as he did when you spoke like he was hanging onto every word. That was when the other boys walked in to greet you.

“Y/n, when did you get here?” Felix asked, giving you a smile that said he already knew why you hadn’t tried to find him first like normally. Seungmin and Hyunjin shuffled in the room soon after, both taking seats in front of the couch by your feet.

“Just walked in, actually. Jisung surprised me.”

“Yeah, I invited him because I found out that he can rap,” Jisung’s eyes widened, but the smile never left his face. “He can freestyle too.” Now Jisung’s smile faltered slightly.

“Uh, I think I’ll just stick to the karaoke for now. I’m not that great at freestyle.” He was shaking his head, but his eyes shifted to you once he heard you giggling.

“Aw, but you have to, please?” You asked, amused at the thought.

“Maybe, maybe.”

Felix clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention again, and you saw Hyunjin jump, startled at your feet. “Felix,” He gasped, clutching his heart.

“Sorry, I need everyone to focus to choose a song.” He said while lifting his eyebrows at you.

“No need. I already know,” Seungmin chimed in. He got up from his spot and pulled up the song before handing a microphone to you. “This was the song you were listening to the other day right, y/n?”

“Uh, yeah… why?”

“Because, you’re going to sing it. With Jisung.” He handed another microphone to Jisung.

“Wait, why only us?” You rushed out to ask once the realization set in.

“Because you’re the only one who knows this song, and it’s a faster song. I’m sure Jisung would be the only one able to still keep up without knowing the song since he’s a rapper.” Seungmin shrugged like he didn’t just make up the lamest, most see- through excuse to push you and Jisung together.

Jisung laughed a little, “sounds like a challenge. I like it.”

“But!” Seungmin said, still not finished, “it’s actually a competition, go!”

Without any time to reject what he said, he played the song and the opening was playing through the sound bar. From the many times you’d sang this song, your body instantly reacted and you started. You could hear Jisung struggling to pick up on the rhythm of the song, but once he did, he managed to sing along like he’d heard it as many times as you. The rapping part came up and you stumbled over the words a little bit while Jisung really was in his element. He not only rapped along to the song, but he added his own flavor to the lyrics as well.

Once the song had wrapped up, you had doubled over in laughter from amusement and embarrassment while Felix, Seungmin, and Hyunjin applauded. You turned to look at Jisung who was already looking at you and clapping for you.

“Stop, you clearly won.” You said playfully.

“Yep, Jisung won!” Seungmin declared while Felix and Hyunjin tried to defend you.

“No way, it was all y/n!” Jisung argued.

No one came to an agreement on who actually won, but you continued on with karaoke. Each taking turns or sometimes there’d be a duet or another competition. Seungmin especially loved putting people against each other. You ended the karaoke night by having ditched the microphone to everyone just belting out the lyrics instead. Everyone’s voices were a little raspy and worn out from prior singing, but no one cared. You danced around the living room with your friends and sang along while sounding like a cacophony.

Eventually, the karaoke night shifted into dancing lessons from Felix. He was doing a tiktok dance that caught your attention, so you asked him to teach you. He tried teaching everyone, but Hyunjin groaned and said he’d rather do a real dance. In his dance class, they had been learning Latin dances, specifically cumbia, so he decided to teach that with Felix instead. You were always enthusiastic to learn new things, and while you weren’t a particularly skilled dancer, that didn’t stop you from doing it for fun.

Felix taught Jisung the dance first explaining that he’d be the lead first before showing Jisung to be the lead. Hyunjin did the same with Seungmin which meant you were standing to the side recording each pair trying not to laugh. “Hey, don’t laugh. This is going to be you in a second,” Jisung teased you while trying to get the footwork of the dance. He picked it up relatively quickly, not even needing Felix to teach him the lead before asking to try himself. He wasn’t a dancer like how clearly Felix and Hyunjin were, but he still moved fluidly and light on his feet.

“Very good, now show y/n. I need some water.” Felix panted before walking off. Jisung carded his fingers through his messy hair which just fell back into his eyes as he approached you.

He held out both of his hands for you to take, “I told you. Are you ready?” He asked, lowering his voice. You tried to shake off your nerves as you took his hands and allowed him to lead you through the dance.

He showed you the basic steps before you actually started the dance, but soon you were able to just give in to the music and let him lead you. He’d pull you close into him and then spin you around. You felt more dizzy from being so close to him and holding his hands than you did from the actual spinning. Him engulfing you was intoxicating. Every touch lingered on your skin. The dance was quite fun, and you hadn’t even noticed when the music stopped. He spun you one last time before the dance came to a stop. You gazed into his sparkling eyes and felt everything else had come to a stop as well. There was no denying it now. You had feelings for Han Jisung.

At the realization, you could feel your pulse speed up. You stepped away from Jisung and looked around the room to find your other two friends had left as well. “Wow, did they really just ditch us?” You attempted humor after feeling the shift in the room hoping he didn’t notice the shake in your voice.

“Maybe they went to get water too? Come on, do you want some?” You could swear you saw his hand lift like he was going to reach for you again before he just smiled and headed for the kitchen.

~~~

The next time you saw Jisung would be when he had personally invited you to the party. It was a bit late at night, but Felix and Hyunjin were in desperate need of some coffee. They were working on a routine together and needed to have it perfected for the evaluation in a couple of days, so they turned to you to save them with caffeine. You’d promised to go on a coffee run only if they promised to actually get some rest some time later tonight (more likely early morning). You really didn’t mind since the barista was pretty cute anyway.

As soon as you stepped through the door and the little bell attached to the top rang, Jisung’s head snapped up to see you. Excitement took over his features as he waved you over. “What brings you here at ten o’clock at night?” He asked, leaning across the counter slightly.

“I know how it looks,” you laughed, “but it’s not for me. Felix and Hyunjin have to stay up late tonight and need a little help.”

“Likely excuse…” he gave you a fake suspicious look before his thoughts seemed to shift elsewhere. “Why do you never stay when you get coffee?”

“Jisung, really, it’s not for me-“

“No, I mean like the other times. You always get it to- go… I don’t get to see you much,” he bit his lip slightly. The mood changed faster than you could blink. You hoped that Jisung could feel the tension as well, but he walked away for a moment to start making the coffee. You were a little relieved since it gave you time to process what exactly he meant.

When he came back, he handed you the coffee and rang them up not caring to finish the previous topic. You took your receipt and were reaching for the coffee when he spoke up again, “hey, there’s this party next Friday that you should go to. I mean, Felix was already going, so I’m not sure if you were. But you should. Maybe we can dance again.”

“Sure,” you answered without hesitation. Without remembering why you didn’t go to parties in the first place. Without caring about any of that at the moment since it was Jisung who was asking.

“Okay,” the smile he usually wore around you expanded, and you felt like you just did something right. “It was good to see you, y/n.” He spoke softer.

“I’ll see you soon, Jisung.” You turned on your heel and left the coffee shop excited to tell Felix what had just happened.

~~~

Felix linked his arm with yours once you all filed out of his car. Hyunjin was already inside somewhere since he felt he owed something to the frat. Something about one of the boys complimenting a drawing he was doing by the quad one day, and it lifted his spirits so much he vowed to return the favor. Seungmin, who everyone assumed didn’t like parties, was already many steps in front of you eager to join the crowd. God bless Felix for staying with you because you were already feeling a little shaky.

You crossed into the threshold of the house, and the house was brimming with activity. Drinks, cups, snacks were scattered all along the house, and even though you couldn’t see anyone smoking, the air was hazy with it. There were people dancing on tables, tucked into corners making out, drunkenly yelling at each other, but you couldn’t spot your barista among these people. Seungmin was already headed for the kitchen, and Felix pulled you along which was fine because you definitely were going to need a drink.

“Oh my god! Y/n! You actually came!” Hyunjin slightly pushed Felix off of you to shake your shoulders. “I’m just so happy you’re actually at a party with us.” You laughed as you thought actual tears were pricking up in his eyes. He was clearly already drunk with a light flush across his cheeks.

“Yes, I’m here. I’m here,” you coaxed his hands off of you while you looked around him for a drink.

“Y/n, please do a shot with me. It’ll be sooo fun. Pleaseee,” he turned around and poured four shots of tequila without waiting for you to answer. He thrust the shot into your hand, slightly spilling some of the alcohol on your hand before passing out the rest to Felix and Seungmin. You each clinked your plastic shot glasses and said cheers (Hyunjin being the loudest of all) before dumping the tequila down your throat. You usually took shots well, so you let the alcohol coat your throat before going for another one, “damnnn, y/n isn’t playing tonight!”

You downed the next shot before speaking, “have you seen Jisung?”

“Jisung… Jisung… Jisunggg,” Hyunjin repeated like the name was foreign on his tongue. “Oh, yeah, I think he’s… upstairs… with… some girl,” he said the last part a little quieter as the realization struck him a little too late.

“Oh… well, that’s fine. Just thought he wanted to hang out,” you tried to mask your disappointment as you poured yourself a proper drink this time.

“Y/n, Im sorry, i know-“ Felix placed a hand on your back seeing right through your reaction.

“No, it’s okay. Really. It was just a fun little crush anyway. I didn’t have any real expectations.” You gave them a little smile to really sell the performance and sipped on your drink to avoid their sympathetic looks.

The alcohol finally started taking an effect, warming your body. You could feel your muscles relaxing and your heart get a little lighter from the bombshell dropped on you. This encouraged you to drink a little more before Felix asked you to slow down. “We have all night, y/n. No need to do all the drinking right now. So what do you feel like doing?”

You were really looking forward to dancing with Jisung. You had even continued practicing the dance that Felix had taught you to be able to keep it up longer the next time with him. But maybe it meant more to you than it did to him. You were tired of reading too much into things and decided that you wanted to dance anyway. With or without Jisung. “Let’s dance!”

This earned a whoop from Hyunjin before he eagerly pulled you into the living room where everyone was dancing. Felix and Seungmin followed along, and the next moment, you were all dancing together. Well, Felix was dancing. You and Hyunjin were holding hands, jumping around and shaking your hips while Seungmin had left. Probably embarrassed to be seen with you guys and wanted to find a lay himself.

The dancing continued until you absolutely couldn’t anymore. Hyunjin's hair was drenched in sweat like he had just taken a shower, and the curls from your hair had started to fall. You and Hyunjin leaned against each other giggling and breathing heavily while Felix left to get everyone water. “Hyunjinnie, wait here, please. I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Ew, gross. Go. I’ll tell Felix where you went.”

“Thanks,” you giggled while stumbling your way through the crowd to find the bathroom. You couldn’t find anything not locked downstairs, so you approached the stairs to continue your search on the second floor. You placed your foot on the first step, feeling yourself sober up a little as you remembered what might be occurring up there. You repeated your words from earlier about it being just a fun crush before forcing yourself to continue climbing up the stairs.

Thankfully, the first person you ran into at the top of the stairs was able to direct you to the bathroom at the end of the hall that managed to be unoccupied. Once you finished and were leaving the bathroom, a couple of doors down a girl with a tense face left one of the bedrooms. You didn’t think much of it before you started back for the stairs and heard a familiar voice call out for you, “y/n?” Jisung. Your name sounded like you were hearing it for the first time when he said it. Your first reaction was to turn to greet him before you realized that girl was probably the same one he had disappeared with. You continued walking like you didn’t hear him.

You found Seungmin near the stairs and slung yourself over his shoulder even though you knew he’d be mad. You needed to act like you were busy in a conversation to avoid Jisung. Poor Seungmin had been talking to some girl when you came over, and he turned his head to glare at you. “Y/n, what are you doing?”

“Minnie, you disappeared on us. I thought you wanted to dance?” You moved so you now stood beside him and the girl to be able to face him.

“What are you talking about? I always-“ he didn’t finish when he noticed the figure approaching you out of the corner of his eye. “Of course, I wanted to dance. You just looked like you were having fun with Hyunjin.” He took the hint and engaged in the conversation.

“Hey, Jisung,” the girl Seungmin was talking to acknowledged him, and Seungmin cringed that your plan to ignore him failed.

“Hey, y/n, I’m glad you actually came.” Jisung was only looking at you. You didn’t want to look. You didn’t want to fall for him again. “I hope you saved a dance for me.” He continued once it seemed like you weren’t going to speak up.

“Actually, it was my turn to dance with her,” Seungmin said, noticing how uncomfortable you were next to him.

“Oh… um, actually I wanted to talk to you, y/n… please,” you couldn’t help yourself from glancing at him as he said please, and of course, his doe eyes won.

“Sure, but we need to hurry because I don’t want to keep Seungmin waiting for too long,” You sighed and let Jisung take your wrist. You didn’t want to feel as happy as you did when his fingers brushed your skin.

You didn’t have any right to feel jealous or hurt that Jisung wanted to have a casual hookup at the party. He was a grown up, and he could do what he wanted. You just had to accept the fact that you really were just friends, and all the little flirtations were just innocent. You should’ve known better than to look any further into something when you’d both explicitly called each other friends. It was just a silly little hope that his lingering gazes meant more, that your banter meant more, that you meant more.

Still, your heart leapt into your throat as you let Jisung take you somewhere more private to talk. That was until he led you into the bedroom that he was just in with that other girl. You frustratedly sighed before you noticed that the bed was made up, in fact it looked untouched.

“Are you okay?” Jisung asked as he closed the door. “If you’re uncomfortable, we can go somewhere else. I know how it looks bringing you to the bedroom, but I just wanted somewhere a little quieter to talk.” He moved a little closer to you, but his hands stayed by his side as if to prove that he really meant no funny business.

“Y-yeah, this is okay…” you suddenly felt very nervous, but you wanted to know what Jisung was so eager to tell you. Has he noticed your crush, and he’s here to reject you softly? Or maybe…? But then what was he doing with the other girl?

Jisung’s smile was soft and gentle like he really wanted you to feel at ease. He took a few more steps closer until only a couple of inches separated your bodies. This is when you really took in his appearance. He was wearing a black sleeveless tank top that showed off his arms. He looked strong, and your hands itched to reach out and feel the smooth curves of the muscles. The shirt was tucked into a pair of black leather pants with a belt that showed off his lean body. His hair was no longer in his eyes, but his bangs were swept up in a side part that framed his angelic face. He looked dangerous but safe all at the same time. Tonight he had siren eyes that were locked onto you like he wanted to consume you. He gazed down at you with heavy- lids, but you could see vulnerability in his black eyes. His soft lips parted with the words that were stuck on his tongue.

He leaned a little towards you as he got ready to speak, and you dared to close the space just a little more. You could almost feel his breath ghost across your cheek and his body heat radiate onto you. You felt completely sober now; your head was clear as you were trying to memorize every moment of this. “Y/n, I meant what I said at the coffee shop. I don’t get to see you much, but I want to.”

Your breath hitched, and your eyes widened slightly. Was he really confessing? “Jisung…”

“Y/n, I know you feel something here… I hope you want to see me too.” You felt his hand slide against yours, and your whole body felt like it was on fire. But you needed answers. You jerked your hand away, and Jisung’s face fell a bit, his brow slightly furrowed.

“I- I know you were in here with another girl before me…” you said quietly. You were too scared to shatter the illusion of this moment, but you had to look away. You look down at your shoes that we’re almost touching Jisung’s. That didn’t help in reminding how close you were to having him.

You could see Jisung tense. “I can explain… I- it’s true that I slept with her. But I promise, I didn’t tonight, and I haven’t in a while. Not since that night we danced together. Something changed. I couldn’t sleep with her anymore, and tonight I officially broke it off… It was just casual. I thought I’d always want just casual, but… something changed.”

You finally look up again, and Jisung was dangerous only by name now. He looked addicting, he acted care- free, but now he was completely exposed to you. You knew this must all be new to him and admitting these things to you must have taken a lot of effort. This time you reached out to take his hand. Your palm sliding across his warm skin until you laced your fingers together. He chewed on his bottom lip anxiously as he waited for you to say something. “I do feel it too… something changed for me that night too.”

You breathed out and finally closed the distance between you two. He released his bottom lip that was now plump from how he’d been working at it, and he licked his lips. His eyes flicked down to your lips, and you could feel your body coil in excitement. Please kiss me, you hope your eyes said it all for you. His other hand snaked up your back and left a trail of sparks all the way up to where it came to rest on the nape of your neck. You could feel his touch still on you even after it was long gone. His thumb softly stroked the back of your neck before he pulled you into him. Your lips parted, and he stopped when his lips were just hovering over yours. “Can I…?” He almost whispered. His deep voice caused your eyes to flutter shut as you shook your head yes.

His lips gently pressed against yours as he slowly savored the kiss. Your knees almost buckled underneath you as this is what you’ve wanted to happen for so long. But you willed yourself to keep standing as the kiss grew in intensity. You gently caressed his jaw with your free hand as he started to kiss you harder. You didn’t care if you ran out of breath. You didn’t need air. You needed him. His tongue flicked over your bottom lip, and you slightly whimpered. You cringed in your head, but quickly forgot about it as he sucked on your bottom lip. The fingers in your hair gripped your head just a little as he also quietly groaned. He gently bit your bottom lip and slipped his tongue into your mouth. His tongue slid over yours as he wanted to taste all of you. He continued exploring your mouth until you both absolutely needed to gasp for air.

You stared back at him again as both of your chests heaved. His lips were slick and swollen from your kiss, and it looked as if a slight blush had sprinkled across his cheeks. Your heart warmed at the sight before you leaned up to kiss him again. And again. And again. Never getting over the feeling of his soft lips on yours, and how you could feel how much he wanted you. From the way your lips moved against each other to the hands that remained intertwined at your side to his other hand that didn’t stop exploring over your body.

As you kissed, his hand brushed through your hair, across your jaw, down your shoulder, up your side, over your spine, gripped your hip. He was restless in touching you, and you relished in the feeling of being wanted. Being wanted by him. You weren’t sure how long you had stayed in that moment, kissing, but eventually you came back to your senses. Seungmin was probably wondering why you hadn’t come back, and so was Hyunjin who thought that you were just going to the bathroom. You felt bad since you knew that they were worried about you, but they would understand once you told them why, right?

You looped your arms around Jisung’s neck while both of his hands rested on your hips, “I have to go now…” you pouted.

“Please don’t.” He rested his forehead against yours and mirrored your pout.

“My friends are probably looking for me. But this isn’t over, okay?”

Jisung smirked, “you still want more?”

“Don’t act like you don’t.” You teased and pulled away from him.

He caught your wrist and pulled you back to him, “of course I do, baby.”

Your stomach knotted at the new pet name. You weren’t expecting it so fast, and you had to fight back a smile. “I'm serious, baby. I have to go.”

You giggled when Jisung gaped at you using the pet name back like he didn’t even notice that he had said it first. Taking your opportunity, you pecked his lips and walked to the door. “I’ll… see you at the coffee shop?”

“What? You’re not even going to call or something?” he all but whined.

You giggled and winked, “okay, I’ll call you.” You slipped out of the room to go find your friends

[actualbird]

The cafe event has gotten me into a polynxx mood lately... Just them getting along together, them praising Vyn for his desserts, Marius who keeps asking for Artem's meals, Vyn & Luke making their dishes match eachother like dear god and them just making sure that Rosa is alright while she's walking all over the place as a waitress!!! Your honor, this is my silly polyamorous investigation group!!!

I'm just finding sm comfort in thinking about them right now spending lots of time together and I can't help but get a stupidly big grin on my face.

Bc they're together a lot (not only in the event but as a team in general) I wonder whether they start noticing eachother's weird or silly little habits (i.e. pretending that they're interrogating and waterboarding someone while pushing dirty dishes down into some soapy water). Or even nice little things they do for eachother (i.e. something like peeling an orange for someone while they're on break).

hi hi creckar!!! and gosh mood about this whole event, im enjoying it so much and it's definitely giving me polyam nxx vibes too hHHHHHHHHH. the entire intro scene was so lighthearted entertaining but also so sweet (im never getting over marius calling the others his friends, THEYRE FRIENDS, YOUR HONOR!!!!) and that bit with artem openly praising vyn's cooking and vyn responding by laughing oh my gosh my heart fluttered, THESE PEOPLE ENJOY EACH OTHER'S COMPANY I LOVE THEM AND THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER AND //puts on shipping goggles, ARE ALSO IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER

speaking of being in love with stuff, im in love with ur hc in this ask. they so totally would notice each other's habits because 1) aforementioned THEY CARE ABT EACH OTHER SO MUCH and 2) theyre all just naturally very perceptive people, in regards to how much they can realize and note about others.

little things like how mc writes down orders in a certain manner on her notepad, or how luke hums to himself when hes making drinks, or how artem gets this focused glint in his eyes whenever hes in the zone cooking, or how vyn uses his lunch break to take a nap first and foremost before having a munch, or the irony of marius loving ice cream but being very susceptible to brainfreezes. all these little details compound and are noticed, but in a very casual way. it's like getting to know more about each other without even having to speak or talk. im sure once this cafe thing is over, they both know more than they realize about the other team members

i also like to think that some habits get Adopted. like yknow how when people are close, they adopt some habits or quirks of the ones theyre close with? yeah now everybodys little quirks are The NXX Team's Collective Quirks. our quirks now. so sometimes you'll find vyn humming when hes working, or artem trying out mc's notetaking system. sadly, nobody can take the burden of marius' brainfreezes for him though

all in all, im super loving this event, it's so cozy and cute and fun!!! now if only luke's SR card would reveal itself to me early, thatd really make this event perfect.....LHSVFLSD

[worriedvision]

So uhhh how about maybe a tighnari x reader where the reader is a sibling of dottore's and they find out about his real work through a slip of the tongue (this is when they're an adult). They pursue becoming a doctor, and they decide to apply to Sumeru as well as other areas where they can train, and they get into Sumeru. Somehow they meet, chaos ensues when things are discovered

This is gonna be fun to write.

Translation: prepare to get hurt lol

Reader is gender neutral, please correct me if I slip up BC my brains like mush rn.

Got long af so I'm gonna do a second part lol

--

You never got on with your brother, finding him incredibly creepy. Sure, you were siblings, but something felt really dodgy about him. It didn't fade away at any point either, in fact it got even worse when he finished his education and somehow managed to get work for the Fatui.

You had assumed he was simply a medic, giving the bare minimum care to soldiers if they got wounded. Sure, it wasn't his idea of interesting, but at least he wasn't responsible for the care of vulnerable people who he could take advantage of.

Well, you found out he was experimenting on people who had less than ideal circumstances. See, he had been talking to a communication decide, and you overheard him documenting the age and condition of the 'new admissions'. Peering around the corner, you see the way his mouth just cracks into the most horrific grin. You just know he's trying to hold back laughter.

You never really knew what to do with your life, but you did try in school, achieving good qualifications to fit in wherever you deemed fit.

Now, however, you feel the sudden urge to become a doctor. Not like your evil brother, but rather a doctor that helps heal others, a doctor with a good reputation and an approachable exterior. Deciding to apply for courses, you go for Sumeru, Fontaine and Liyue. You already knew Sumeru would be near impossible to get into with how world renowned it was, you hoped to get into either Liyue or Fontaine.

When you receive the letter of acceptance from Sumeru, you manage to hold back your squeal of joy at the sight. Attached to the letter was a book you were to read up on. You flick through the pages, recognising one of the conditions to be one your brother was fixated on. You feel compelled to specialise in this reading, taking in all the information you can before you were to head off. Your mother thinks you're simply moving to Sumeru for some work, and she doesn't bar an eye when you leave.

--

You decide to take a detour from the usual route, figuring you may as well enjoy what other parts of Teyvat had to offer. Mondstadt, for example, felt like a getaway in comparison to your homeland. That wasn't exactly surprising, considering you had to deal with your brother's less than sane speeches.

Liyue was freeing as well, but in a more controlled manner than that of Mondstadt. You wished you left a day earlier, that way you would have been able to truly appreciate all the world had to offer.

However, you figure you may as well step foot into Sumeru. You navigate through the Chasm with someone who has the time to assist, you paying them respectfully with Mora before you head through into Sumeru.

To your surprise, you are met with a beautiful forest setting. Your mouth can't help but fall open, somehow able to keep ahold of your bag. You zone out for a bit, and you think you hear someone try to rouse you.

"Hello?" You hear a soft voice, a gloved hand waving across your face. You shake your head, promptly apologising before turning your attention to a beautiful looking man. His eyes peer into you, as if he asked you a question.

"Oh, sorry." You start. "I'm due to start a course soon at- uh sorry, one moment please-" you pause, pulling out your letter as well as the book you had been gifted. The man peers over your shoulder, and he lets out a sound of acknowledgement.

"Ah, what a coincidence." He responds. "I have to go into the city for work, I'll guide you." He nods, face still calm.

"...I would like to know who you are before trusting you with my safety." You half joke, the man smiling softly for a moment before he composed himself.

"You may call me Tighnari. I am a forest watcher." He explains. You begin to introduce yourself, only for him to recall your name. "I did see your letter, after all." He explains, smiling when you nod dumbly after realising he wasn't some sort of creep who knew all about you.

The walk wasn't very eventful, but Tighnari kept looking over at the book in your hand. You realise he's curious about the contents, and you hand it over. He looks over at you, surprised you were allowing him to read your book.

"I noticed you looking." You smile, Tighnaris ears twitching slightly. "I've already read through the book, so I think I can survive without it by my side all the time."

Tighnari nods, and he looks up to see the city entrance. Taking a deep breath, he walks up, you next to him.

When you find out you were to get a device of sorts attached to you, your mind already begins to dread the reaction you'd get if people realise you were your brother's sibling. Reluctantly, you do so, and thankfully neither of the people in front of you react. Taking a breath of relief, you walk with Tighnari, him leading you to the building you were to report to.

'Keep an eye on that one.'

--

After talking to Tighnari more, he asks if you would be interested in staying in the forest. Of course, you had some limits, but he told you there was someone that you both would benefit from being around. Eagerly nodding, you begin walking with Tighnari only to overhear a discussion between a parent and someone you didn't like the look of.

"Your son will be safe with us, rest assured." You hear the other person say. You tell Tighnari you'll catch up, and you make eye contact with the parent. Thankfully, it's discrete enough that the other person didn't suspect anyone was listening in. You shake your head, mouthing the words 'dont do it'.

"Thank you for the offer, I truly appreciate it." The parent starts. "However, I must turn this down."

The person sighs, clearly frustrated because this parent didn't fall for the trap that others did. You hide behind a crate, waiting until the other person is away and knocking on the door. They see you, and they demand an answer.

"I have reason to believe your son would be taken advantage of if you were to hand him over." You explain. "Was this organisation the Fatui, by any chance?" You ask after getting a look of confusion. The parent nods, and you can't help but feel relieved you overheard the transaction. "Believe me, their intentions are not pure." You finish, the parent staring at you as they take the information in.

"But my son's condition is complex." The parent queries.

"If you would like, I can keep an eye on your son's condition." You begin. "I started a course on this condition. If you like, you can check me."

The parent does so, and they nod slowly. It's like they're debating on something, but you brush it off. They thank you, accepting the offer and wishing you a safe journey home.

--

The walk back felt tense, for lack of a better word.

Tighnari had an expression of unease, staring ahead and not responding when you asked him if he found the book useful. After you look at him out of concern, he closes his eyes in thought before stopping.

"The book was insightful." He bluntly explains before walking ahead.

You have a feeling he's been told something, but you know better than to ask him to just tell you.

--

You are introduced to Collei, who takes interest in you immediately. You don't disclose where you're from, knowing from her history that she would fear you simply because of your origins. Collei can't help but laugh when she notices you look over at master Tighnari with a look that wasn't purely professional, stifling it when Tighnari raises a brow, asking her what was so funny.

Following her patient journey was certainly enlightening. For whatever reason, Tighnari informed you right before Collei woke up about the Fatui and what they did to her, and you remember the disgusting way your brother took joy in recording the patients he received on that day.

Collei never mentioned it, and you decided you wouldn't press her on it. The time she jolted after you brushed past her, you understood completely, apologising to her at the exact same time she did to you.

Tighnari started trusting you, but he didn't like the fact you never disclosed to him personally your relation to 'the doctor'. He waited, hoping you would tell him soon enough, only to become frustrated when it didn't happen.

One night, you three were out on a job, and Tighnari was asleep, Collei sitting with you while you examined her. Hearing someone in the distance, you look over to see a ginger haired man wave you over.

"Who's that?" Collei asks, you thinking of a good excuse to figure it out yourself.

"Oh, that's one of the parents of the patients I look after." You smile to make it convincing. "I'll be back in just a moment. If something happens, call me over."

You walk over, the man smiling and going along with the act until he was certain nobody else was paying attention.

"You're going to need to come with me." The man starts.

"And who are you go tell me so?" You bite back, the man chuckling lightly at your response.

"Tartaglia, 11th of the Fatui harbingers."

He takes note of how your eyes widen.

"Your brother really doesn't appreciate the lack of patients he's getting from Sumeru, and it started after you moved out." He explains. "He's going to start looking for you personally."

"Oh, thats certainly interesting!" You smile, Tartaglia sighing out.

"Listen, if you come with be back to the Fatui, we will train you to be whatever you want." He tries to convince you.

"I'd rather die." You say without hesitation. Tartaglia raises a brow. "I don't care what the Fatui can give me, I don't want to be associated with my brother's line of work."

Tartaglia rubs the back of his head, awkwardly looking away.

"Listen, you don't have much of a choice." Tartaglia sighs out.

"Give me a week to reconsider, please." You might as well try, right? After all, you knew this guy had siblings, and he would protect them to the best of his ability. Plus, the phrasing implied you would eventually fall into their hands.

"...Fine." he admits defeat. "You aren't gonna put up a fight if I were to deny you that anyway."

--

Returning back to camp, you see Tighnari glaring holes into you. Letting out a shaky sigh, you wave in hopes of him reciprocating it.

The fact he didn't let you know he heard most of the conversation.

You sit down, looking over at Collei who was sound asleep. Tighnari leans over, whispering into your head so he didn't disturb Collei with any of the information.

"Do you intend on handing Collei over?" Tighnari asks, his glare hardening.

"No." You respond softly.

"Why don't I believe that?" He continues.

"Because you know who my brother is." You respond. Tighnari keeps looking, not whispering anything else in the moment. "You associate me with him."

"...And why didn't you admit you were related to him? Don't tell me you're doing this to correct his wrongdoings." He continues to interrogate you.

You tear up, the weight of the situation slamming down on you.

"Because I knew you would label me to be exactly like him." You respond. "Truthfully, I feel stupid for only recently discovering what he does."

Tighnari lets you take a moment to breathe, pulling away from your ear. A tear falls, Tighnari doesn't seem to care. Why would he, considering what he knew since day one.

"...I don't know what I can do." You start once again. "I want to stay and complete my studies, but I trust you know why I couldn't safely do so." Tighnari nods, eyes looking over. "But I don't want to go to the Fatui, especially knowing their less than ethical actions."

Tighnari doesn't talk, hoping to see if you add anything else.

"If I'm spotted by the Fatui in a week's time in Sumeru, not only will I be punished, but anyone housing me will be hurt." You sigh, making sure Collei is still asleep so she didn't hear any of this.

"...I'll take care of this myself." You reaffirm yourself. "Don't look for me. Tell Collei I have a placement, or maybe say I've been moved into another area. " You explain.

"But what about you?" Tighnari suddenly asks out of concern, standing up at the same time as you do.

"Let me worry about that, okay?" You shakily let out, brushing off the hand that manages to reach you before you begin to execute your plan.

First step, you go to the academy the next day and inform them you are dropping out. You will also inform the parents that you have been keeping safe with your personal knowledge of the Fatui. Thankfully, the parents take it well, some of them explaining they had a feeling it was bound to happen. When you ask them to keep each other safe, they nod in understanding.

The next step, you find the parts of Sumeru that the Fatui don't have interest in. At first, you thought abandoned camps would do the trick until you had a very close call, almost being caught sleeping by a Fatui agent. You figure out that chances are, they had an idea of where you usually stayed because of your academic background, you have to think of perhaps going towards the areas where you weren't as likely to spot people who took pride in academic intelligence, but rather in trades.

You had a long road ahead of you, you realise as you set up camp just outside of Port Ormos.