#it is genuinely not that hard to respect people who have different perspectives than you at least i thought it wasn't

[vamptarot]

Why God Loves You | PAC

pile one pile two pile three

how to choose a pile . . . choose whichever you feel drawn to or ask your guides to guide your eyes to the one that is meant for you! ᡣ𐭩

— ⭑.ᐟ before we start I would like to say that this pick a card was made for those who were made to believe that God doesn’t love them, or that their existence is a sin. so if anyone wishes to complain about ‘oh but what if I have different beliefs’ then please simply consider that this pick a card is not for you. I am making it for those who were unjustly hurt. not proof read.

pile one : - coffee stain !

𐙚 : judgment reversed, ace of wands reversed, hermit reversed, two of swords, the devil

bottom of the deck: ace of cups

♡ ⢷why He loves you

You are genuinely not a judgemental person, at all. Even if someone is judged by the masses you are someone that does the ‘investigation’ of the situation yourself and then decide if the person actually deserves to be hated or not.

Even when it comes to unconventional things that other people would judge for, you simply do not. You always do your best to understand where the other person is coming from, and most importantly what are they going through. Especially emotionally, you try to see it from their perspective and not from someone that’s an outsider perspective in that situation, whatever it might be. That only comes second, third and so on. You are just someone very nurturing and smart, a person who walks their own way of clarity rather than blindly following the masses.

You are someone that is hard to influence, but rather than this making you unfriendly, it has the opposite effect on you. This quality of yours makes you very friendly and makes people have trust in you.

You are mature and can meet good people because you don’t let judgement fall in the way of you making good connections. Rather, you aim to understand everyone as much as possible.

You are also someone that is very responsible. When you make mistakes rather than running away from them and denying what had happened in the past you stand on your feet and strive to make it right. To create a better future.

This is something that is very honourable about you, something that is admirable.

♡ ⢷personal message

You don’t have to be religious in order to follow the words of God or what’s in your heart. Neither do you have to be religious in order to be considered a good person.

You are just you, and that’s enough.

You are good as you are, with your flaws, with your strengths and with your history. Don’t feel like you have to put on a show in order to be accepted. By this, I just mean that your existence is not a sin. What happened to you in the past is not a sin either, and don’t shame yourself for your normal human desires. Especially if you know it’s not your fault.

‘Picture perfect’ is picture perfect exactly because it’s not reality. Consider it an illusion if you wish.

— ✮⋆˙ someone in this pile is biologically a guy! , hey ya! - outkast , used to be a player , plush animals , bells , bunnies , wooden house , unfortunate childhood , growing up in poverty and actually managing to have a better life , nose bleeds , pink glittery food ? , hate for ants

my beautiful pile one please know that your intrusive thoughts are not you and I see all your efforts to be the best possible version of yourself, to treat yourself and humans with love and respect. you are pretty cool, please don’t beat yourself up. don’t blame yourself for the way other people have hurt you. I am also so sorry if your pile sounds a bit messy, I wrote it at 2AM. thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile two : - a letter !

𐙚 : the lovers reversed, five of cups reversed, ten of swords reversed, ace of wands, the hermit, two of cups

bottom of the deck: the star & the empress reversed

♡ ⢷why He loves you

In the past you have made some pretty bad choices. I am not judging, because who didn’t? These could be things that you aren’t necessarily proud of and that you know hurt people. At that time, you didn’t have people’s best interest at heart. You didn’t even care much for it even.

The thing is, this changed. You changed it, without anyone having to tell you to.

You changed it because you didn’t enjoy the person you have become. All by yourself. God, and your guides for that matter, are very very proud of you for that. It could feel a bit unreal to hear that, but regardless, you are reading this pick a card for a reason.

Regardless, you made such a huge progress and became someone that you can be proud of. You are doing so well, there is nothing left but to praise you for how far you have become.

There was genuinely such a huge tower moment in your life which helped you become the person that you are today, one that helped you evolve and have people’s best interest in your heart. Not from a people pleasing stand point either, rather, you look at everyone as human and as crazy as it might sound this isn’t a quality many people have.

Rather than seeing people as strangers, obstacles or just an option to pass time with you have become much more empathetic and have way more emotional depth than what you used to have.

This has helped you and other people heal as well, it’s truly adorable. You have every right to be proud of yourself!

♡ ⢷personal message

The past is the past and the present is the present.

People change and this includes you. Don’t give yourself a hard time over things that no longer matter, or no longer can he helped.

Today, you are a just, wonderful and kind person. Someone that gives their all in everything they do, someone who does things with all their might. A person that is doing their best, every single day, even at times where they don’t want to. - It’s not the bare minimum, this is a very wholesome and just thing of you to do. Don’t under-appreciate your own efforts in life. You are doing so much, while getting so little and you are so strong for continuing to stand even though you feel like giving up at times.

You are doing so well, and I hope you will be able to see that.

— ✮⋆˙ zuko from atla , mha , break stuff - limp bizkits , smiley - yena ft bibi , ear ringing , silver jewellery , crying at night ? , porcelain dolls , grandma , beauty and the beast rose , swarovski princess dolls , blood , red lip tint , being distracted , recently finding out something important about yourself

bad people don’t worry about being bad. I know impostor syndrome can be hard, but you are doing so well! the past doesn’t define you but your efforts of self improvement do! thank you for reading. 🫶🏻

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile three : - the sea !

𐙚 : knight of wands reversed, the devil, three of swords reversed, nine of pentacles reversed, seven of swords reversed, ace of swords, ten of swords

bottom of the deck: queen of pentacles reversed

♡ ⢷why He loves you

Alright my beautiful pile three, I see your struggles. You have happened to be born into and grow up in an environment that doesn’t serve you any right. One that doesn’t align with your soul and keeps making you go through hardships.

Your family members are not necessarily people who always have your best interest at heart, and even if they do they don’t always succeed in showing you that.

They are much different from you, and even though you don’t necessarily deem yourself as perfect you know they are at times toxic even if they try to include you in things, try to make you feel good in your skin and so on. You, essentially are the black sheep of your family. Not because you try to stand out, not because you cause trouble on purpose but because you try to not make the mistakes that they do.

Being born into a family which you can love is a privilege, and I do think you got to understand that from a very young age even if not everyone in this pile hates their family you don’t always like them despite loving them. - Ironic, that could be something that people who chose this pile heard growing up. -

So, at many times you have felt lonely.

Despite this, you are doing your best. Some of you were at times severely mistreated, tricked into things or perhaps share wounds you genuinely never want to open up about.

Regardless of this, you don’t seek revenge. You don’t aim to hurt people. If you dislike someone you keep your distance, and focus on your own life.

On having good goals, good morals, being kind to strangers, being kind to family and being a good person overall.

Sure, sometimes you do get annoyed, quite a lot at times even, but you do your best to not react out of harsh and negative emotions, to not lash out on people. You know how it feels and don’t wish to inflict such negative kinds of emotions on people. So everyday, you do your best to don’t.

♡ ⢷personal message

Your surroundings don’t define you as a person, being the one to stand out doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.

Sometimes you are just meant to stand out, to create differences, to be the foundation for a better future.

For yourself and those who are important to you.

If you can’t be, that’s fine. The world doesn’t rely on you, don’t overwhelm yourself if you believe that you deserve better. The world is give and take, you cannot just give and give and give without receiving anything back.

Being a giver is alright, and having a forgiving heart is beautiful, but you cannot sacrifice your well being just to please people.

— ✮⋆˙ ‘I just wanna be one of your girls tonight one of your girls tonight’ , apple watch , an actual apple , lana del rey , ‘back to black’ , late night talks , ‘bye guys! hi ladies!’ , soobin from txt , dipper pines , weird food combos - peanut butter with pickles … ? whatever makes you feel happy my pile 3 - , back scratching , long nails , poverty , gangs (?)

I can definitely resonate with you my beautiful pile three, please just know that beautiful things await you. Like genuinely, you will have so many good things in life which you didn’t even previously think about or consider before. I hope you will be able to find so much happiness my little lamb. thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Costume Meta 7x01

Aaaaaaannnnd we're back!!

OMG I cannot tell you how good it feels to be back writing costume meta - I have missed it so very much and this first episode has given me lots and lots to talk about so lets crack on with it shall we!

Where to start?! Firstly - Its amazing to have Alayna Bell-Price back in the driving seat and she is a genius because she knows the characters better than anyone and I have to say from my perspective there is a pretty clear difference between this episodes costumes and the ones from season 6 - not that s6's costumes were bad, just that you could see the shift of having a designer who didn't know the characters to the same level. I’m going to go in order of character appearance in a non uniform capacity for this one I think so we’re going to jump around from character to character a bit. There is no Maddie or Hen this week, as we don't see them out of uniform, but every one else is accounted for and I've included Norman and Lola as they've got a multi episode arc and their costumes are interesting and playing into a colour theme!

putting it below the cut as its a long post and I on't want to overtake everyones dashes! Enjoy!

We start off with Athena in this pale pink high neck ribbed sweater with large bell sleeves. I've spoken a fair amount about pale pink over the last couple of seasons of costume metas and how, in clothes its representative of childish and immature behaviours or thoughts. That holds true here - the pale pink is playing into Athena's childhood - when she developed her fear of cruise ships - its creating a connection between her childhood experiences and the woman sitting in Franks office.

We get a flashback that shows her in yellow and orange - the yellow for communication and the orange for transformation. A literal moment where we see Athena transform from the innocence of youth to her developing anxiety and fear around cruise ships. Its really clever visual storytelling connecting adult with child and shows us her fear is genuine and founded in something that she may not have been able to articualte fully as a child, but she can as an adult, even if she doesn't actually articulate it to Bobby.

Our next non uniform costume is Chimney. The lighting is really low in this scene, so it's kind of hard to be 100% sure of the colouring, but he seems to be wearing either a dark navy or black button up shirt under a dark green and black bomber jacket. The use of really dark green in combination with black, Back is a colour that can be about hiding ones vulnerabilities - concealment and masking, but it is also a colour associated with magic (generally dark magic) as well as pessimism. The green is growth and renewal, and the hope for a better future. to use them in combination i this way is playing on Chimneys insecurites and fears, his desire to keep the 'magic' alive in his relationship with Maddie, but it also speaks to his growth, that he goes home and talks to her about it (even if he does come up with an insane plan to 'date forever').

Eddie in the locker room - aside from being shirtless for much of it and pulling some epically good faces - was a super interesting costume choice. Especially the use of his watch! first though - Denim shirt time! We don't actually see Eddie in a denim shirt all that often and we've seen him in the super washed out one far more than dark denim shirts. I've been laughing a little bit at a few people (on twitter mostly) claiming its the same shirt he was wearing at the hospital during and after Bucks coma and it being a play on bringing Buck back to life. While I like the theory, its actually a very different shirt - the one in the hospital was black with a grey wash out and was made of velveteen - so different colour and fabric.

This shirt, is however one we have actually seen Eddie wear before and its far more telling than if it were the hospital shirt. You need to bear in mind that this scene is about Buck and Eddies respective girlfriends (or lack there of) and the fact that Christopher has a girlfriend now as well. This shirt is the same shirt Edie was wearing when he (re)introduced Ana to Chris in 4x08 (breaking point my beloved! the gift that keeps on giving!) and this puts a conversation about Marisol and things going well with her into the same category as Ana - suggesting she is ultimately destined for the same fate as Ana. the other thing that plays into this narrative is the use of the watch.

Eddie does not put the Christopher watch on until after he has found out that Buck has broken up with Natalia - so during the entire conversation about their respective girlfriends, he is only holding the Christopher watch, rather than wearing it.

In the picture below from 4x08 you can see that Eddie is wearing his black 'work' watch rather than the brown strapped 'Christopher' watch. Remember that the first time we see the Christopher watch is when he goes for his first date with Ana in Jinx, so he already has this watch and in theory should be wearing it in this scene. The fact he isn't is pretty telling and I'll go into that a bit more later when we get to Chris's (and Eddies) date scene.

Then we have Buck in his outfit of many colours! The white trainers, continue to play into my theory of Buck wearing them when he is in key points on his journey to discover his self - her it is about showing his growth - that he ended the relationship with Natalia - this is a massive thing when we saw how long it took for him to end things with Taylor - The man who clings is growing and getting out before it drags him down!

The jacket is similar in style to many of the ones we've seen him wearing in season 5 and 6, but this one is much brighter and more colourful. I know I go on about white meaning bad things for Buck, but that isn't relevant here - the white bad things happen to Buck theory is much more about t-shirts, jumpers and shirts rather than jackets - its an under-layer rather than a top layer that = danger. So i'm not thinking of its relevance here for this scene. What I am going to say is that this (according to my spreadsheet!) is the first time we've seen Buck in a white jacket of any description. To me, it's playing into the idea of purity and rebirth which is what white is often associated with. This plays into the comment Eddie makes welcoming Buck back to 'the land of the living' but also implies that Buck is starting a new chapter and making a fresh start - the check patterning suggests it might not all be plain sailing though.

The check pattern is an interesting one, obviously check pattern theory comes into play here, but whether its only in relation to the reveal that he split with Natalia, or if its also foreshadowing Buck getting himself into danger/trouble down the line, remains to be seen.

I'm going to quote myself again because I did predict that this scene may be about his relationship with Natalia when we got the stills dropped - the costume department never let us down!

The only thing I can do is scream into the void about check theory because check does't bode well for people - they always end up in the middle of the drama (see my check theory posts linked on my pinned post for more) and while they come out the other side (99% of the time) Buck in check for that scene in 6x18 pretty much doomed his relationship with Natalia (its specific to her and not C&K's baby as Buck wasn't wearing it when he delivered it!) and as that shirt in the still is very un Buck like, has not only yellow ochre in it, but also its a white base (and we all know buck in white is a bad sign!!) and its check patterned - my theory is that this scene is connected to Natalia in some way - either Buck is not being true to him self in more than one way - that things are going to/have come to a head for their relationship (my kingdom for a reverse of Buck to Eddie about Ana in 5x03!!!) and lead to a pretty big change in some way (fingers crossed for Buck to end it and then finally break down and deal with his trauma!!!) Some other things about that shirt - the colour combination - the green blue and yellow ochre are giving me call backs to coma Buck (another reason I think it might be connected to Bucks unresolved trauma around his death and Eddies absense in his dream)

In the quote above, I was also referring to the blue and white check pattern shirt he was wearing when he and Natalia got together, but there was also the fact that in the balcony scene at the end of 6x18, we also saw her in one of Bucks white shirts. I wrote in my 6x18 meta about how those two things combined didn't bode well for that relationship going forward, and thats what leaves me unsure about the check pattern on this white jacket being purely about something that has already happened. If I put my Buddie goggles on, I would perhaps suggest that the troubled times ahead may be more connected to Buck and Eddies relationship, and this would fit in with a couple of the things Oliver and Ryan have said. The thing with check theory though, is that generally speaking if it's on one of the mains, they come out the other side of the dram/trauma stronger than before. So if it is connected to Buck and Eddies relationship, then we can expect it to be in an even stronger position on the other side of whatever goes down (and at this point you can't strengthen their relationship any further and keep them as just friends imo!)

Chimneys forever dating proposal to Maddie, connects with his outfit when he's talking to Hen - it's the same jeans and black shirt, so the meanings of black, can be continued on into this scene - the idea of magic and hiding his vulnerabilities. The addition of the jacket with this brickwork pattern in its weave is a fun choice, it's playing into the idea of building something, but also plays into the idea that Chimney has his walls up - again fitting in with the black meaning of hiding his vulnerabilities - because instead of expressing his fears to Maddie ad then them talking it thorough, he comes up with his insane forever dating concept. the fact that much of this scene is a contrasting parallel with the scene from season 1 when he is pretending to be someone else entirely for Tatiana all ties in perfectly with this costume. The fact that he reverts to wearing blue (ran out of picture spaces so I couldn't include one) later on - when he's realised his plan isn't realistic, talks to Maddie and they end up back on the same page is really good to see - the blue being a signature Chimney colour and is indicative of him being true to himself.

Bobbys blue suit and blue check patterned shirt. The brightness of the blue is a really important choice - it's the only time we see him this brightly coloured on the cruise until he ends up in the bright red at the end. This is important because this is the moment when he's still all excited and hopeful for his honeymoon cruise - everything is good in Bobby's world at this moment in time - the check pattern is telling us that it's not going to stay that way for long. From her on out we see the colours of Bobby's costumes slowly beginning to dull and take on a washed out tone, but here in this moment all is good.

Athena's bright yellow dress is all about making her stand out - communicating with the audience, she is the brightest person in the room (in more ways than one!!). The thing with yellow, apart from the communication aspect, is that it can also be a symbol of anxiety and fear, so this dress plays rather nicely into the theme of Athenas fear of being on that ship.

The colour does have other good traits too - its fresh and bright and is a colour of happiness in its more jewel like tones and I think we can see all of these meanings in these scenes - Athena might be anxious about being on the ship, but she is also happy and enjoying herself with Bobby in that moment.

Lola and Norman. Lola is the one we need to focus on in her very bright very check patterned Victoria Beckham dress. Obviously the check pattern plays into check pattern theory, but the red also acts like a neon sign to the audience - highlighting that Lola is in danger - the ga won't pick up on check theory, although they might connect the dots about the fact this check patterning looks very like a cage - foreshadowing her being held captive later on, but also as a nod to the fact she was incarcerated previously.

The red is also a nod towards romance and love - playing into the rekindling of their relationship and romance in the aftermath of the freeway 'see me Norman' incident.

Ok so Christophers date night and by extension Eddies date night! This is where this meta is goingto get a bit messy and I'm goingto jump around a bit becasue I need to talk about the way colour theory is at play in all the scenes in Christophers bedroom, so we're going to talk about Christophers bedroom as one big thing rather than the two separate scenes that it actually is. They are extensions of one another and build on so much of the groundwork we've already seen in previous seasons.

Chris in plaid check yellow and red check plays perfectly into check pattern theory - it’s a signifier that something is about to go down with him - namely that the fact he’s dating multiple girls at the same time. 

He’s also wearing a white shirt which is not a colour we see on him all that often - in fact, the only times we’ve seen him in a completely white shirt is with his suit in 5x01 when suit shopping and again in 6x08 for his school dance. He did wear a white vest when dressed as wolverine for halloween  So as you can see its not a common colour for him, but the times have seen him wear it as a solid colour have been connected to school/girls and dating (i’m including the suit shopping in this because Ana was there and it was kind of a Eddie and Ana date of sorts - in that it was suppose to be for this Christening - meet the family - date type thing).

The most interesting thing is the plaid hooded shirt though. It was such an interesting choice to go with for a couple of reasons. the colour way is especially loud - we tend to see Chris wearing greens and blues and greys, with the odd other colour thrown in occasionally. So red and yellow are not common colours for him to be wearing.

On the red front we see him in it a couple of times - the adapted skateboarding scene and the scene in 4x10 when he joins Eddie and Ana on the sofa - getting in the way of their date night. We do also see him wear red in Christmas related episodes (so I don’t tend to count them in the same way as the Christmas colour theming will nearly always override any other colour theming intention - the use of stripes or check or other patterning is more important in those episodes!). 

On the yellow front things are even more clear cut - the Tsunami arc, the aftermath of him falling off the skateboard, Mays graduation party and 5x03’s Eddie Ana break up! These (apart from the tsunami shirt) were all bright almost neon yellow.

This new plaid shirt is more into the yellow ochre part of the yellow spectrum, therefore tying much more to the tsunami arc, which is actually really fitting if you think about it in a little more detail - its a connection, not only to Buck, but also to loss and grief. Eddie might have been using his secret weapon (Chris) to get Buck out of his moping (read mourning) over not being able to go back to work, but Christopher is also still grieving the loss of his mother at that point as well, so its not just about cheering Buck up, its also about giving Chris a chance to do something fun and distract him from his own grief. That is why the use of yellow then ties in so nicely with its use on Chris now.

The other thing that really grabbed my attention about this shirt though is the fact that the two times we’ve seen Buck have a conversation with Chris in his bedroom, he has sat in the same spot and has been wearing one of those two colours - post shooting in maroon and this episode in the yellow ochre - if you watch those two scenes side by side, you see that they’ve used almost identical camera angles as well to film Buck.

I've spoken a lot about the use of maroon as a colour connected to parenthood - especially fatherhood , which is how its intended to be read on Buck - connecting to Eddie and his being shot, pushing Buck into a parental role in Eddies absence.

That alone is a pretty loud reference to Christophers connection and relationship to Buck, but then we have the yellow ochre of it all.

I feel a little bit insane about how close my prediction was on what the Buck Christopher scene was going to be about - this is from the meta I wrote when t he stills dropped;

Whatever this scene transpires being about, based on what we've seen with Buck wearing yellow ochre, we can assume its going to continue to play into this idea of Buck not being fully truthful with people and fitting into the role he thinks people want him to pay rather than being true to himself. I do want to add to this theory by looking at Christophers shirt as well. The grey/ yellow combination is a bit reminiscent of Breaking point (the episode that really is the gift that keeps on giving) because we get Chris in grey and Eddie in tan - that is yellowish toned whilst not actually being yellow There isn't a good screenshot of them together, but the placing of Chris and Buck in the new one has echoes of Eddie and Chris in that scene (one that is interestingly enough playing into the idea of changing family dynamics, but also the moment before and the one that happens afterwards at Bucks loft, directly placing Buck into a parental role (as an aside the idea of Buck being a miracle worker plays into the theme of Eddie looking for magic, just saying!))

Indirectly this scene was about Buck not being true to himself with people and fitting into whatever role he thinks people want him to fit into, only this wasn't an active situation - this was a scene where Buck could draw on his experience of having done that in the past to help Christopher - the line from Eddie 'you didn't end up being like you' is such a call to this and actually shows how valuable Bucks own experiences and learnings are in helping Chris (we've all been joking about Eddie choosing Buck to help him with this Chris's issue, but in actual fact he was the perfect person for the job - not just because of his being a 'reformed player', but also because of his relationship with death and the death of a loved one where you are reliant on others for their memories of a person rather than having your own)

The thing with the Yellow ochre (this meta here that i've already quoted from above is the place to go if you'd like more detail on its use on Buck more widely) isn't just its about it's connection to Buck, his place in Christopher's life and more loosely to the will of it all, (the fact that Buck and Eddie are both wearing the same colour ways as in the hospital bed will reveal scene and are both on the same sides of the screen in both scenes is a stroke of genius and is meant to connect these two scenes together) its also its connection to Shannon.

The first time we meet Shannon, she sits on Christophers bed in more or less the same position as we see Buck and Eddie sit, and looks at where Christopher has been positioned in all these conversations, and she is wearing a burnt orange top thats pretty close to the dark yellow ochre we see Buck wearing. Shannon wears a lot of yellow - as in it there are only a couple of times we don't see her wearing something yellow or with yellow in it and those are key scenes (which I will talk about later on).

Shannons appearance in Christophers room to read the letter she wrote him had her in this black top with a floral patterning on it. She was also wearing green trousers (which can be seen in the still below but aren't actually seen during the scene.

I actually really loved the green trousers and black top as a choice because the top is very Shannon - it sits perfectly with the floral patterns we saw her wearing when she was still alive. The green trousers are a bit of a departure for her, but I think its very intentional for two reasons .

The first is that they are very much in the Eddie trousers wheelhouse, especially in combination with black - he wears green khaki trousers a lot. The inference being that the black and green combination is an echo of Eddie.

The second ties to Christopher. Green is also a colour we've seen on Christopher a lot, it's probably the colour we see him in most. It's being used as a reflection of the fact he is growing and transitioning from child to teenager. But having it here in this scene - on Shannon connects a Christopher growing up without his mom.

Both of these combined really connect into Shannon in this scene, tying the three of them together and on Eddies efforts to keep her alive for Christopher - the underlying implication that his growth into who he is so far is as much to do with Shannon as it is to do with Eddie.

Her necklaces were not identical to the ones we saw her in in season 2, but that's most likely because they don't have them any longer, so they've replicated them as best as they can. The other little nod that I enjoyed is the brown bracelets on her right wrist - the same place Eddie wears his brown strapped Christopher watch!

But the top they have her in plays into a couple of other things - the prominent yellow flowers make an obvious connection to Buck from the previous scene, but they also tie into the 'I want a divorce' scene from 2x17 where she is wearing a dark blue dress with bright yellow ochre flowers all over it. the dress is not especially close to the top in the wider sense - blue dress with white squares v black top with florals in a variety of colours, but the yellow flowers are the prominent aspect of both items of clothing and play into the yellow theme connected to Shannon and then to Buck.

This is espeically relevant when you remember that Eddie is in a black suit in that scene and he's wearing black when he gives the letter to Christopher.

The black for this sequence of scenes is such a poignant choice - its Eddie mourning all over again, not for his loss, but for Christophers loss. I did find it telling that again in this scene, we have the absence of the Christopher watch. Eddie has very rarely not been wearing a watch in his scenes, so the times when we don't see him wearing one are very telling.

For me, in this sequence of scenes, it's about the fact that they are not about Eddies relationship with Christopher, but about Shannons relationship with Christopher. The watch is much more about Eddie and Christopher, so to have it absent from this story arc makes total sense and is symbolic of Eddie being a good father

Then we have Christophers grey shirt - I said when we first got the stills from that scene, how it was likely to be connected to complex family relationships - a la when we’ve seen Buck wearing his grey shirt. And what do you know - the scene was about complex family dynamics/ relationships.

It wasn’t perhaps in the manner I was expecting, but that series of scenes played with the full scope of Chris’s complex family relationships - from the relationship he has with Buck -not only as Christophers friend, but also as more or less Eddies co-parent (the way Eddie asked for Bucks help screamed co-parent rather than friend imo - that whole burnt out car scene was two co-parents discussing their child!) to the relationship he has with his dad - which is a pretty great relationship, but it is a complex one.

The relationship he has with his mom - or the fact he feels he doesn’t have a relationship with her despite Eddies best efforts, because as he grows up she feels further and further away. 

Eddies 'date' night with Marisol. Again I ran out of pictures (30 is not enough!) so you're going to have to use your imagination or go back and rewatch the scene for yourselves, but trust me when I say that Eddie is wearing the same shirt he was wearing for this date night as he was in 4x10 - when Christopher interrupts because he can't sleep!

It's also a similar tee to the one Eddie wears when he has his breakdown and trashes his room (that one was more green when this one is much browner). Its slouchy and has cut and stretched raw edges at the sleeves and on the pocket - in the same way his breakdown shirt did. there is an element of being in familiar surroundings and being comfortable at home, but stretched out raw edges and Eddie generally tend to mean not so great things.

Of course there is the element of his parenting skills being tested by Christophers having more than one girlfriend, but if that where the only reason, then it would've made more sense to have him in that shirt when he's listening in to Chris talking to Buck, rather than when he's on a date with a new girlfriend.

This is especially true as the screen time for that tee has more connection with Marisol than it does with Chris. Combined with the fact that once again, like in the locker room scene, he is not wearing his Christopher watch in this scene and that speaks volumes.

If we are to read the scene as being about Christopher soley, he should be wearing his watch because that watch is a physical embodiment of the importance of Christopher in Eddies life - that he puts Christopher first in all things.

Got to say I was a bit shocked to see Marisol in his bright magenta silk spaghetti strap top when you consider the costumes we saw her in last season - mostly dressed down, t-shirts, jumpers and dungarees so this is a complete 180 for her character.

There are a few interesting things connected to her outfit, firstly it low key ties into Natalia - we saw Natalia in a red version of this top for her first proper onscreen date with Buck (when they go to the badge and ladder joint) so there is an interesting low key parallel to draw there. There is also the fact that her bracelet is a chain one - much like we've seen on all of Buck and Eddies previous girlfriends - although those have been necklaces, so I'm undecided if this chain bracelet is paying into the same trope as those.

Then there is the pink of it all.

You see Eddie and Pink on his girlfriends doesn't bode well for Marisol.

Both Shannon and Ana wore pink. Ana wore it a lot - there are two examples below, but generally speaking its her most commonly worn colour - including on her first date with Eddie in Jinx.

The first example below is from the first time we see her in the Diaz house. the shades are different, but the fact that the first time we see both characters in the Diaz house they're both wearing pink, speaks volumes.

The other key use of Pink is when Shannon is at the beach with Eddie and Christopher and she tells Eddie she's pregnant - Eddie takes it as the sign he has been looking for - the chance to effectively start over with their marriage, but this is the beginning of the end for their relationship, even if she hadn't died a short while later. She is wearing pale pink in that scene and it's the only time we see her wear the colour in the show.

The fact we can also contrast the use of pink with when Buck wears it is telling in its own right - we see the relationship between Buck and Eddie strengthening when Buck wears pink - May's graduation party, the tsunami, the Hildy coffee machine - all moments (big and small) that show the development of various aspects of their relationship and its ability to endure.

Essentially all this use of pink on the women he has had previous relationships with, doesn't bode well for Marisol and the longevity of her relationship with Eddie. How quickly it will end I can't say, just that it will end.

I spoke earlier in this post about colour theming for the episode and this is where I talk about it!

Pink - and in particular the very bright pinks we saw scattered across the episode. Marisol above wearing it, isn't just about connecting her to Ana in costume terms (especially as at this point that costume is a departure of her costumes from s6) it also connects her to the other characters we see wearing bright pink in this episode - Lola and Norman.

At this point in time I'm not sure if we're going to see it play out as a theme across the season, but its use in this episode was very loud on characters that are going to be around for more than 1 episode. It suggests that there is some underlying theme that connects them (by this I don't mean that they're gonna meet and hang out I mean that personality traits are going to be similar)

Magenta and bright pink in colour theory means a few different things, and like with all colours, has positive and negative traits. Generally speaking its a loud and brash colour thats designed to stand out and draw attention to it's wearer.

Things that are considered positive traits for this shade of pink are; intensity, acceptance, kindness and it's supportive and uplifting nature. It's connected to naive love (as in lust rather than the passionate and enduring love of red) can also be considered a nurturing colour.

Negative traits are; intensity, volatility, arrogant and impatient, irritability and irritating and frustration. it is also said to be a stress inducing colour and is said to be overly emotional.

Theres a clear and fairly loud connection between Lola and Norman getting into danger - Lola is in magenta trousers when she is kidnaped. Norman also has bright magenta flowers on his shirt at this point as well. My guess at this point is that we're supposed to lean into the stress inducing element, and also the irritating nature of the colour (On Athenas part at the very least!) and we'll see if those are the themes that play out for Marisol as well down the line.

Norman is in bright pink when he's lying and claiming she's unwell from being outside or too long. We also see that he is wearing pink in the ditsy print shirt later on (again I ran out of picture spaces!)

Athena's black top in this scene is much like the use of Chimney in black in his scenes. It's all about power and authority but it's also about her hiding her vulnerabilities. The other thing it does is creates a huge contrast with Bobby and all of the other passengers - she is the only one in black in the scene and it contrasts her with the underlying white of Bobbys shirt - juxtaposing them and visually putting them at odd with one another.

Like I said above about him becoming increasingly pale - here we see Bobby in a sea-foam green shirt - its the palest and washed out colour we've seen him in on this cruise (grey pyjama shirt not being included as its blink and you miss it and a pyjama tee!!!). Sea-foam green doesn't really play into the traditional meanings of green - there is still the element of renewal about it (the sea washes the sand etc)but its mostly a self-conscious and uncertain colour - both things that perfectly sum up how Bobby is feeling in this moment.

The other fun thing about this outfit is the palm tree shorts the patterns Bobby has worn in relation to this cruise, up to this point (and that includes the shirts from season 6) have all been tropical themed but on his shirts, the fact that they've now slipped down onto his shorts is a visual representation of him becoming increasingly dissatisfied with the way his honeymoon is going - that the tropical vacation vibes are slipping away.

Athenas red and white shirt, in my opinion is showing her cross purposes - its the duality of investigating and being on a cruise in a shirt. The bright red ties into the red and blue first responder colour way the show uses (for obvious reasons) while the white and the palm fronds, the lei flowers and the watery theming of the pattern fit into the troipical cruise they're on.

Bobbys red shirt contrasts with the lavender that we see on Athena - its not a colour we see on Bobby all that often and that makes its use all the more important. Especially considering the entire cruise thus far we've seen him in blues and greens - especially pale closer to pastel tones.

This red is bright snd bold and unlike his usual choices. Red is a colour of cross meaning - there is obviously the connection with love and the heart, which is absolutely at play her - his love for Athena is spurring him on and is part of what is pushing him in to investigator Bobby mode - and its representation of love is what is going to be the key player in the up coming episodes on the ship - when he is looking for Athena during the evacuation etc. But the other meaning of red is war, courage and anger and that is very much present here in this episode, and will (i'm assuming) be later on in 7x02 and 3.

The other thing I think its worth pointing out at this point (which is pure conjecture on my part at this moment in time but that I think will become relevant in the next two episodes rather than this one) is the foreshadowed parallel with Buck in season 5 when he broke down Eddies door. The bright red we saw him wearing then was an uncommon colour for him, in the same way it is for Bobby here. It's paralleling the way Buck was prepared to go into battle for Eddie, with the way Bobby is prepared to do so for Athena - going to war for your closest person, your loved one and doing what you need to do to save them.

Putting Athena in lavender the moment she gets to go into cop mode was a choice that had me giggling! Lavender is a colour of relaxation and order so for her to start wearing it the moment she gets to start being a cop again - speaks volumes for her state of being - it shows that her fear of being on the cruise ship and of being alone with bobby, has been overridden by her need to do her job and start investigating things. Its the perfect colour for this moment and for the impeding trouble brewing on the ship - Athena will bring order to things as order has been restored to her inner world.

Hopefully you've enjoyed this little canter through the costumes of 7x01 we're back in business and I can't wait to read your comments in the tags and comments 🥰

Tagging for those who've asked to be tagged - drop me a comment on this post if you'd like to be added to the list for the next meta 😎

@theladyyavilee @mistmarauder @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @mandzuking17 @spotsandsocks @loveyou2thecore @wanderingwomanwondering @oneawkwardcookie @leothil @copyninjabuckley @nathleigh @shammers86 @crazyfangirlallert @missmagooglie @inandoutoffocus @katyobsesses @radiation-run @gayandbifiremenofmine @lemotmo @bi-moonlight @satvojihusana @crazyaboutotps @princesschez75 @mongreloer @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @sherlocking-out-loud

[bao3bei4]

why zines? how zines?

i was on a panel at fanworks con 2023 about zines today. it was a lot of fun! i decided to turn my portion of the talk into a post for my friends who couldn’t make it to the panel. 

this post includes my thoughts on: 

why make a zine

how to generate ideas for zines

how to finish your zines

how to build an audience for your zines

so why zines? what are they? [ZEENS, rhymes with beans], pronounced that way because it’s a shortened form of the word magazine, are basically just that: self published magazines. but why make a zine over, say, a blog post? or any other piece of art. 

i have basically three reasons. the first is that making little books is cool. it’s genuinely awesome to make physical zines and have the product of your labor in your hand. it’s a great feeling to finish a project and feel a concrete reward, and a lot of times we don’t get that in our lives.

the second reason is that zines give you absolute editorial control. you can put anything you want on a page. whatever layout, whatever order, whatever fold, whatever content. you name it, you can do it. this is something other venues rarely give you. for artists, it’s phenomenal. and for the rest of us, it gives us the ability to become artists for a little bit, as we lay things out.

the third reason is that zines can be absolute shit. in fact, the more shit they are, the more diy and punk they are. they have an incredible lineage of stolen copy paper and anarchist politics. all that to say, is that there are no standards. the zine ethos is say what you wanna say. it’s tremendously freeing to go fuck polish and respectability, i’m making my project.

because of these three reasons, i want to encourage you to get started making zines by describing common challenges and worries and giving you several practical tips for each on working past them. so, in order, they’re “i don’t know what to make a zine about,” “i struggle to finish projects,” and “no one will read my zines.” let’s get into it.

first up, “i don’t know what to make a zine about.” i think this one is pretty common, even for experienced zine creators. sometimes you’re in the mood to make things but you have no clue what. a lot of people suggest to just go with random words or whatever pops into your head, but i’m picky! i find that unsatisfying! so here are some tips for people in the same boat. 

ONE: what’s distracting you? work with it. because anything can be a zine, let the things you’ve already done serve as inspiration. photos you’ve taken can be formatted into a zine. is there a game sucking up your attention? make a zine about it. the song stuck in your head can turn into a lyricbook, forgotten works in progress or sketches can be resurrected, cannibalized, or even published as incomplete zines. if you’ve been busy with real life, maybe the recipes you’ve been making—even if, especially if, they’re struggle meals, can turn into zines. interview your most interesting friend. summarize a book you read recently. even if you’ve just been doomscrolling, that’s a zine too! i got a zine last weekend called bay area newsreel which was collecting recent articles about local news from leftist perspectives gathered up into a handy volume. your attention is a gift, so look at what zine fodder it’s accumulated for you naturally. 

SECOND: add a twist. sometimes i have an idea but it isn’t quite right. it just seems too straightforward. so i try to develop along a single axis of content or form. what this means is basically go against your instincts, or rather, your first impulse. that first idea is very hard to walk away from, but doing so often gives you an idea that gets you unstuck. so for content, add a different perspective. for me this is often a theoretical approach. when i was stuck on my scum villain zine, turning it into freud zine let the words start flowing. next, on form: present it differently than your first instinct is to. if my first thought is “essay,” i try to figure out how to chunk out the information into modules or how to add interactivity or what kind of illustrations to add. if my first thought is “this could be a fic or comic,” i try turning it into an essay. saying things a different way often gives you a new perspective on the content as well. 

THIRD: copy! make your take on the same thing as someone else. it’s not stealing—well, ideally it isn’t. make your original take and give credit where credit is due and ask permission if necessary. but engage with the medium!!! making zines without reading zines is the same thing as trying to write a paper without citing sources, or a novel without reading your contemporaries. that is, you can do it, but it’s hard. zines are a genre into themselves so figure out how to situate yourself in their ongoing dialogue. an example of this from my own practice is that i own a zine about queer gods and mythological creatures from chinese history. reading it i was like. why don’t they talk about this. why don’t they talk about that. and that became the basis for my own zine, guaitai the strange and the queer which focused on queer chinese history and literature instead. different zine, same inspiration. 

all of my ideas suppose you have SOMETHING going on. what if you truly have nothing. my advice? adapted from my “how to write an essay” blog post, is to read a book. read an article. read something. and then post about it. and then turn your posts into a zine. don’t start entirely from scratch — give yourself a scaffolding. so first. read something and tell someone about it. i wasn’t lying about calling myself a consummate poster. it’s a big part of my thought process. 

second up, what if “i struggle to finish projects.” i’m no stranger to having a bunch of half finished half started projects lying around. but here are some zine-specific tips i have for addressing that.

FIRST! go smaller; go shittier. reduce the scope of your projects. make one pagers, lists. once when i was feeling stymied, i made a physical zine about movies i’d watched that month, just listing them with a couple bullet points on each film. i eventually turned it into a bigger digital zine where i listed movies i’d watched over the past several months with more thoughts on them, and nicely formatted. but that was something that came out of reducing my scope from “i need to write a manifesto on a movie i’ve watched recently” to “well i can just tell people about it” to “i can say two things about it.” and something actually got finished.

SECOND. your friends are a great tool for accountability. something i like to do is zine jams with my friends. nothing fancy, it’s just we’ll sit down for an hour and go we’re going to make something in this hour. or, for a bigger scope, we might work separately but commit to making a zine that weekend. it’s nice to have community and it’s nice to feel a little bit of a friendly deadline. i recommend this even if you DON’T have problems finishing zines. it’s a good time. 

THIRD. a lot of times if the words aren’t coming easily, it’s because i’m not trying to say the right thing. keep in mind that your zines don’t have to be “content.” this little paper zine i made about movies wasn’t made to share online; in fact, it’s not available online. i didn’t make it according to what other people would see or be interested in. you can and will burn out on making “marketable” content. corollary to this: sometimes what i have to say is something i DON’T want to share online. it might not be that it’s boring, it might be that it’s too personal. and i share a lot online, i write personal essays after all. but some projects i stall on because they’re really just for me, and i’m again, focused on making content. so this piece of advice is about rejecting the tyranny of the imaginary audience. 

and the next challenge is about embracing that audience! what if no one reads your zines, something that’s entirely possible. well there’s plenty you can do about that.

FIRST. cultivate zine community. read other people’s zines! talk to them about their zines! this greatly increases the chance that they will do the same for you. don’t go in expecting reciprocity; do it for its own sake, but it’s a great place to start. try asking people at zine fests if they’d be willing to trade with you, for instance. 

SECOND. write for yourself. it’s cheesy but it’s true. you really have to. if you’re not proud and happy with what you’re making on its own merits, what’s the point. now because this is a cop out tip, i’m not counting it as a tip on its own. 

so SECOND PART TWO. make your zines more accessible. if they’re not free, make them free—yes, you deserve to be compensated for your work, but it’s up to you to decide if you want a bigger audience first. if your zines aren’t short, make them shorter. make them short enough that you can post their entirety on social media or something else easy for your audience to consume. it’s a big ask sometimes to get someone to download your pdf! if they’re physical, hand them out to people you meet. remove all the barriers to entry.

THIRD. related to this, change medium. if you’re not making physical zines, try printing them out. if you’re not making digital zines, try digitizing them. both of these offer access to new audiences and new people who might be more interested in one form than another. 

i hope these thoughts encourage you to make a zine! if you do, please let me see it. i love reading zines. 

[cfr749]

So in the interest of engaging in a respectful way, I wanted to put my thoughts into words about why this situation with the picture is far bigger than the picture for me personally. I also don't think the picture is that serious. I do think the pattern I talk about below is problematic.

If you love everything about the show and how Tim and Lucy got together, I think that’s wonderful. 

But before getting annoyed that people are voicing their opinions and concerns, I hope that people at least try and consider these are layered issues. 

Lucy is a woman of color in the LAPD who ended up in a relationship with her former boss, despite knowing it could come at a price for her professionally. 

For me, it is important to see a story where Tim and Lucy choose each other, respect each other, and support each other. Equally. 

And, for me, that is not at all the story we got in seasons 4 and 5 (and the end of season 3). These are my issues, and why I think it’s important the show be more balanced in its storytelling going forward: 

What we got for Lucy: Multiple instances of Lucy being petty, jealous, immature and unprofessional at work (and mind you this is a character that is hyperaware of how hard it is to be a woman in the LAPD, and specifically the optics of romantic relationships between officers, and I think it's shitty that the writers chose to portray her like this not once, but multiple times)

The Katie Barnes storyline

Webb and the cat personality test + vocally reacting in roll call in front of her fellow officers when Tim chose Smitty over her to be his aide

Being clearly invested and heavily focused on bets and competition with Tim

What we got for Tim:

a retcon of his bad behavior in S1 being because he needed to show Lucy the world could be a scary place. Because, as a woman who was literally threatened with sexual assault and a car jacking in the pilot, she was too naive and inexperienced and "empathetic" to know that.

Tim putting Lucy in her place and reminding her about the seriousness of their work by calling off the bet

***

What we got for Lucy:

Obvious jealousy over Ashley (you're in a relationship? you're dating a lifeguard? break up with her! the reaction to the proposal, etc.)

What we got for Tim:

Setting Lucy up with another man without a second of hesitation.

Encouraging her to end things with Chris (a WHOLE other issue I won't get into), after Ashley had dumped him

***

What we got for Lucy:

Being seemingly more invested in and concerned about Tim's relationship than her own (Tim's planning a vacation with Ashley, while Lucy doesn't want to meet Chris' parents and is very concerned about whether Tim is going to propose)

Dumping Chris, not of her own accord, but because Tim was able to “open her eyes”

Specifically dumping that guy FOR Tim, in a way that made her look like an asshole 

What we got for Tim:

being in a relationship with a woman he was absolutely into, despite their clear incompatibility (we heard from Eric himself that Tim was genuinely interested in Ashley, happy and invested in his relationship with her; we heard Tim say he could see himself marrying her)

Choosing not to break up with Ashley despite all of the indications they weren’t right for each other and being willing to cheat on her

Not being willing to retire for her, but still not ending the relationship

Being made into the victim when Ashley dumped him in a way that made her look like an asshole

Only pursuing a relationship with Lucy after he'd been dumped, while she was still in a relationship

If you don’t feel the story was lopsided and unfair to Lucy, or have a completely different perspective (I'd genuinely love to hear it!!), just don’t care, or find it that serious, that’s great for you, but it’s completely valid that people feel this way.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to see a woman in a relationship be valued and treated well. That has nothing to do with insecurity or jealousy. That has to do with respect and representation. We all come from different perspectives and have different backgrounds that reflect in our perception of how women of color are portrayed on TV.

[the-goya-jerker]

do you have any thoughts on nine inch nails/their song “closer” and the music video for it?

to preface: i am autistic and nine inch nails is a special interest for me. “closer” has a deeper meaning than “the sex song” and is part of a big concept album, and i genuinely think trent reznor is a great artist & director, but people brush off his music/videos because it’s “just” sexual or controversially erotic. well, like klimt or whoever said, all art is erotic!! everything has value no matter what part of your brain it is appealing to. the-goya-jerker dot tumblr dot com i think you are the only guy who actually understands this. you dont have to agree with me i just respect how you view art from the perspective of a nine inch nails fan

Thank you for bringing your special interest to me, dear stranger. I am a king, presented a beautiful gift on a velvet cushion. A princess being given the dearest of unicorn foals to nurture here.

I never knew that The Downward Spiral was a concept album. (My music knowledge tends to be broad and shallow over narrow and deep, y'know?). I knew a few songs (The Only Time is a personal fave) but I didn't know much about the band.

So, just as an overview of the album it's about the narrator's titular downward spiral. Wikipedia lists the themes as: "religion, dehumanization, violence, disease, society, drugs, sex, and finally, suicide."

Just looking at Closer, it's not hard to see why people think of it as a "sex song", honestly. But much like a lot of popular art, I encourage the audience to really listen to the lyrics here, to examine it in a different way.

The backing track (hiiii Iggy Pop! Iggy Pop cameo here!!) has a strong rhythm. The breathy vocals add to the sexual feeling of the song. The lyrics are, on a surface level, talking about sex. But there's some pretty loaded language included. The narrator doesn't just use your typical words like making love or fucking. He "desecrates" he "violates" he "uses". The use of the phrase "I wanna fuck you like an animal" isn't about the intensity, it's about self-degradation.

I think a pretty fair general interpretation (and do come correct me if you think otherwise anon!) is that the narrator wants to escape himself, his flaws, his self loathing, by having sex with people. He wants to be someone else.

This isn't a song about just having sex, this is a song about hating yourself so much that sex feels like it must be degrading for the other person just because it's with you.

There's also some things going on with religion and sexuality here. Sex is a desecration of the partner, it is making them worse, it is using them. But also there's this desperate devotion to this person. The way he says "You make me perfect / Help me become somebody else", the constant pleas for help dispersed throughout, even the section where he offers up himself entirely... it feels like borderline religious devotion. But this contrasts against the desecration in a way that's very fascinating to me.

As a review? I give this a 9/10. It's erotic, but not in the way most people assume. The devotion and degradation as constant themes really sell it. The religious themes add to it wonderfully. And I love to hear a man beg.

The only reason it's not 10/10 is because I know Closer to God (the reworking of this track) gets that honor. I think it just elevates the track even more when the two are presented side by side, and for me Closer to God wins out. The more staticky track is really right up my alley (I enjoy the more industrial and distorted sound of it).

In the end though, both feel transcendentally erotic in their own way.

The songs in question for anyone who wants them:

[zadig-fate]

Thoughts on the choice to write Everyone's Waiting in English

So I've seen a lot of criticism (or implied criticism) within the fandom of Bojan's choice to attempt an emotional song like Everyone's Waiting in English and complaints that his lyrics sound clumsy or less emotional/less genuine because he's not as good a songwriter in his non-native language. While I agree there's room for improvement in that respect, I want to examine and also defend this choice from a different perspective.

More below the cut, but tl;dr: even if the output isn't as eloquent, processing difficult feelings and personal struggles can actually be easier in your non-native language because it provides some distance and forces you to rethink how you view them.

When JO first announced they were moving to London and planning to do more songs in English, there was a lot of pushback, and those of you who remember the live discord Q&A (which I think was moved to IG or TikTok because of video troubles?) might remember Bojan getting a bit annoyed about this and stating that ultimately they make music for themselves, not for the public, and that while they appreciate the resonance their music has found with people, it's still first and foremost theirs.

This statement is always on my mind when I think about their choice to experiment with English songs and new sounds. And obviously I can't read Bojan's mind, but I can imagine that writing songs in English, even if they're not perfect, might give him a kind of personal satisfaction and a tool for working through his feelings that writing in his native languages doesn't.

Disclaimer: the following are just my non-scientific observations.

Some of my mutuals might know that I work as a translator, specifically as a literary translator. I recently translated an incredible book written in German by a Czech author. He is quite a famous Czech writer and this was the first book he had ever written in German, his non-native language. It deals with a lot of difficult themes like WWII, the Nazi occupation of Czechoslovakia, etc. When I met with him to discuss the English translation, he told me that he had to write this book in German because he couldn't write it in his native Czech. It would feel too close, too emotional. So he chose to write it in German, where he could examine these feelings from a distance and write a more honest book as a result.

And honestly, I get it. My native language is English. I learned German, my second language, as an adult, so to me it is and will always be non-native. I struggle with depression and anxiety and have been in therapy in both languages. I have personally made a lot more progress doing therapy in my non-native German than in my native English. You just fall into a lot of familiar thought patterns in your native language... it's easier to think less critically about your feelings in your native language because they feel so natural.

There's a kind of distance you get when processing your own thoughts and feelings in a fluent-but-non-native language that forces you to engage more consciously with them. You have to describe them in different words, in a different language altogether, so you have to reflect hard on what you really think and feel and how to best describe that in your other language. It's not possible to have a kneejerk reaction; you're forced to think things through.

It can also be easier to express thoughts in your second language that might feel uncomfortable in your native language because the words themselves are bound up with so much more emotion and context. And it places you a step away from the family and peer pressure in your native language. Bojan has even said in interviews that he feels more free to be himself in Serbian or English while feeling pressure to be a "good boy" in Slovenian.

All in all, if we take JO and particularly Bojan at their word that they're doing songs in English because they want to and not because they feel like they have to, I can see how writing in English might be genuinely therapeutic for Bojan, even if the end results are not as polished as his Slovenian lyrics. They may be more honest, even if they sound less refined and native.

I guess the question is whether he could have written Everybody's Waiting in Slovenian. From a technical standpoint, of course the answer is yes, but from an emotional one...? I'm not sure. Personally I can imagine that his anxieties might be easier to admit to and examine in another language, and not in the language of the country(ies) where he's so famous and has become such an idol. Maybe he feels like English gives him more distance and freedom in an emotional sense, even if his lyrical output isn't as strong. I can't read his mind, I can only say that I would understand.

[askgildaseniors]

Nikita Privalov reflects on his amazing path of overcoming linguistic and social acceptability barriers as a youngster. He describes his experience in primary school when he was placed in an ESL (English as a Second Language) program with other children who struggled with English. This atmosphere affected Nikita's early connections, as he connected with others who faced similar difficulties learning a new language. His early experiences with being taunted and mocked had an important part in his growth, establishing resilience that has lasted into adulthood and serves as a source of inspiration for him.

Nikita was ridiculed as a youngster, which, while tough, eventually contributed to his character strength. Nikita learned the hard reality of being different after being called "Mr. Toothpick" and "Mr. Sweet Scrambled Eggs" on several occasions. Instead of allowing these events to break him, Nikita turned them into a source of strength and drive. This struggle taught him the value of true relationships in which he was recognized rather than tolerated, and his tale has inspired others who have heard it.

Nikita's story emphasizes the significance of finding and keeping individuals who genuinely respect and encourage you. After being mistreated, Nikita values relationships with those who truly make him feel appreciated. This perspective has instilled in him a strong desire to make people happy, which is most likely a result of his craving for acceptance and compassion throughout his early years. His dedication to sharing joy is inspiring and motivating, reflecting his desire to foster great relationships.

Nikita's tale is one of change and resilience, focusing on how early language and social acceptability challenges influenced his attitude on life. His experiences in the ESL program and the mocking he received increased his determination and instilled in him a drive to convey joy and optimism to others. This narrative emphasizes the importance of early experiences in personal development and the lasting worth of supporting connections, offering inspiration and encouragement to people experiencing similar circumstances.

[angelofthenight]

Hello! Can you please write Ozymandias relationship headcanons with a female reader who works in his company and is not a superhero. The reader is also very soft, sweet and generous. Thank you 🫶

Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias (Watchmen): Headcanons

(Fem!Reader)

Warnings: None(?)

( I feel like this isn’t exactly what you asked for Anon but I hope you still like it! Usually after I write a character as a yandere it’s a little hard for me to write them as a healthy partner so this was a tad harder writing than it needed to be😭. Also these headcanons are a little different than what I usually write coz I’ve been experimenting a bit )

( Side note: when u guys make requests please specify if you want it yandere or not. Once I write for a character as a yandere I will typically always write them as one so it can get a little confusing for me if I can’t tell if a request wants it that way or not. Thank you for understanding! )

~

♡ You caught Adrian’s eye at a little company fair where the office workers would all make little pop up booths of their proposals for the business they’ve been working on as side projects

♡ Yours was a proposal for a charitable initiative

♡ All the stands Adrian stopped at were too bland and uninspiring, ideas that should not have taken these people a whole year to work on

♡ But your genuine passion for helping others and your innovative ideas immediately captured his attention, as well as your sincerity and knowledgeable wit

♡ And you were just so… sweet

♡ And your soft personality did leave him a little breathless

♡ Adrian has a steely demeanor and a relentless pursuit of his goals, so when he finds himself surprisingly drawn to your warmth and kindness, he initially resists the attraction; dismissing it as a distraction from his work

♡ Especially since of your position and status

♡ But he can’t help but find himself increasingly captivated by your ability to see the good in people, something he struggles with

♡ Your interactions start off as brief encounters in the office corridors or during company events

♡ He then finds himself seeking out opportunities to engage in conversation with you, often subconsciously finding excuses to be around you

♡ Despite your differences, Adrian respects your dedication to your work and your unwavering kindness towards others. He genuinely admires your ability to maintain your principles in a cutthroat corporate environment

♡ Over time, Adrian begins to let his guard down around you, revealing glimpses of vulnerability he rarely shows to anyone else

♡ He just can’t help but find solace in your presence, feeling a sense of peace he rarely experiences elsewhere

♡ Despite his reluctance to acknowledge his feelings, Adrian develops a strong fiercely protective instinct towards you

♡ He expresses his feelings through subtle gestures of affection, like bringing your favorite coffee to the office or leaving small gifts on your desk

♡ He wrestles with conflicting emotions as he grapples with his growing affection for you. On one hand, he fears that his feelings may compromise his focus and ambition. On the other hand, he finds himself unable to resist the pull of his heart

♡ Despite his reservations, Adrian eventually musters the courage to confess his feelings to you and he is so surprised and so relieved when you reciprocate

♡ Your relationship is a delicate balancing act between Adrian's demanding career and your personal lives

♡ Despite his busy schedule, he really prioritizes quality time with you, often scheduling romantic dinners or weekend getaways to unwind together

♡ Adrian loves hearing your opinions, he finds your insights refreshing and values your unique perspective on the world. And soon he begins to value your opinion more than others’ on all certain matters

♡ And later into the relationship you basically gradually become his business partner, thus meaning he literally respects, prefers, and utilizes your opinions above all of his other business partners. To him it’s not favoritism if you’re the only one with more insightful and considerate ideas

“sir, we should ship out the products tomorrow.”

“Hm…”

“I think we should ship them tonight.”

“I agree. It’s decided.”

-

“we should paint the walls a britannia blue”

“What do you think, darling?”

“I was thinking a more providence blue.”

“I like that more. We’re painting them providence blue.”

♡ Also being business partners makes the two of you basically play good cop and bad cop in pitch meetings

♡ He’s a really supportive partner, always encouraging you to pursue your passions and ambitions. He admires your dedication to your own goals and does everything in his power to help you succeed

♡ Being in a relationship with you challenges him to confront his own emotional barriers and vulnerabilities. He learns to communicate more openly and express his feelings, gradually letting go of his stoic facade

♡ But only with you, of course. His work persona and his attitude around you are like completely different people. It’s like he has a switch on his back that can go from “Adrian Veidt, Founder and Owner of Veidt Enterprises” to “(Y/n)’s boyfriend”

♡ Despite his reserved nature, your relationship is filled with moments of intimacy and connection from stolen kisses in the office elevator to quiet evenings curled up on the couch

♡ He cherishes your company more than anyone else’s and he often prefers you to be the one by his side for majority situations and activities. Your positivity and warm disposition simply just makes everything more enjoyable for him

♡ Even in his “alone time” he still prefers you to still be in the same room as him. Yeah, nobody gets it

♡ To him, your presence is the equivalent to a soothing water fountain or white noise

♡ Adrian's analytical mind compliments your emotional intuition, allowing you to tackle problems as a team

♡ He may not be the most overtly affectionate partner, but he shows his love in subtle yet meaningful ways. Whether it's leaving notes of encouragement on your desk or surprising you with tickets to a show you’ve been wanting to see

♡ Despite his occasional cold nature and his flaws (that grand ego beneath his surface), he’s your Prince Charming in your mind. Tall, blond, polite, beautiful, gentle with you, mindful of your feelings, always keeps his word

♡ Lots of hand kisses too

♡ The Crimebusters he still keeps in contact with all notice the effect you’ve had on him for the better

♡ Though they’d be lying if they said they weren’t flabbergasted at first seeing how his whole attitude shifts when interacting with you

♡ Because of his assertive confidence and authority, you make him make a lot of your phone-call appointments for the doctor or dentist

“Excuse me, she asked for no pickles.”

♡ Your side of the bedroom kind of stresses his organized self out because of your clutter so it’s often you find him attempting to clean it and tidy it up

*while fanning himself with his hand* “I feel like I can’t breathe on your side of the room”

♡ Despite your differences, his love for you is unwavering and unconditional. You may have your ups and downs, but at the end of the day, he knows he’s stronger with you than he could ever be apart from you

♡ In fact, he can’t even remember how he functioned in his day to day life before you stepped into the picture

♡ But he frankly doesn’t mind forgetting

[just-prime]

I'm not sure if you've been watching The Acolyte, but my critically high levels of sodium over the Ahsoka series have returned with the revelation that Rosario must have fought Lucasfilm over fight/lightsaber training stipulating in her contract.

Manny Jacinto, who came to the role with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do trained for four months for his fight scenes before filming. Rosario repeatedly said in interviews that she trained for two hours a day while filming, and it was clear that she thought this was a lot.

I tried to write it off last year. Budget and time constraints, George Lucas overspent and Disney is doing things differently, the prequel era is dead-

No.

No, this is not the case.

Prequel era love and care in the arena of bringing characters who are expert sword wielders and martial artists to life is alive and well at Lucasfilm.

Daphne Keen fights like Ahsoka plucked from the middle of the Clone Wars and brought to life. Dean Charles Chapman's saberwork is a beautiful hybrid of Obi-wan and Anakin with lightning fast, graceful Soresu and saber spins, lightsabers are deadly once more and used in ways we haven't seen outside of animation and video games, and characters far, far older than 11 ABY Ahsoka have kinetic, energetic choreography because a 42 year old Jedi is nowhere near over the hill, and I'm done with being gaslit about her age.

There are many issues with this show, yes, but there are no cameos (save for one blink and you miss it), no name dropping to make the audience tear up and feel something based on the hard work of previous content. Nuggets are plucked from the EU and made fresh, like the delightful and creative use of cortosis. New force worshipping sects with their own beliefs are brought to life without being the Nightsisters. The galaxy feels large again.

It's everything Ahsoka wasn't and shows just how soulless an effort that show was. Ironically this is the show that's getting raked over the coals while nearly all criticism of Ahsoka was met with dismissal despite the show being desperately mediocre.

If you had asked me to go in without behind the scenes knowledge and tell you if Filoni or Headland was the one new to Star Wars and who was approaching this effort with genuine love of the material and passion for world building and adventure, it wouldn't be the guy who was recently made Creative Director.

I'm sorry for once again paragliding into your inbox (yes, this is the salty anon from last summer lol), especially if you aren't interested in The Acolyte, but it just sheds so much light on everything wrong with Ahsoka and how valid our criticisms were. Salt doesn't have an expiration date, so I hope this is a little bit of vindication!

Hello, hello! Hang up your paraglider, you're always welcome in my ask box.

I have been watching the Acolyte! I'll admit, I saved off answering this until the final ep had come out so that if there were any more cool fight scenes, they were not missed in my response.

Thoughts I had Pre Finale

All in all I agree completely.

While flawed (personally I feel like the acting on Osha and Mea is the weakest part of the show as a whole, as well as the fact that this very much felt like a movie idea stretched into a tv show) the Acolyte has been legions better than the previous slop that Disney Star Wars has put out recently. You know why? Because I had fucking fun watching it. Sure, afterwards I'd usually say something along the lines of 'wow the pacing is a bit weird' but all in all? Actively enjoyable. It never made me angrily close the D+ tab mid episode.

It's also been a facinating litmus test for what people are able to be chill about Star Wars and which ones are not able to handle it. The amount of reviewers and reactors whom I previously had massive respect for who just are acting like utter tools is really getting on my nerves.

Because in sooooo many ways this has been exactly what people have been asking for. A new perspective, with new ideas that isn't just focused on the Skywalker saga. And on top of that, holy fuck the fights are glorious. You are absolutely right, both Dafne Keen's and Tommon's fights prove just how well you can have lightsaber skills look from a single person, as well as the Wookie fight showing off some truly impressive choreo between the three.

And then you have Manny Jacinto...hello ARMS

The man is by far the standout joy of the series (followed closely by Sol) as the man just oozes charisma. His big fight against everyone was brutal and I'm glad to see that lightsabers are once again deadly in the Star Wars universe. Watching him mow through a legion of Jedi was so incredibly satisfying to watch, and again he is just knocking it out of the park with the choreo. LOVE the way that they've introduced cortosis into live action, especially in a fighting style. Headbutting a lightsaber was fucking amazing to witness. Though it's actually not the first time that it's appeared in Canon star wars, as it appears in the second canon Thrawn book, Thrawn : Alliances!

The exploration of the Dark Side is being done in such an interesting way, because none of the practitioners we've seen would self identify as 'dark side users' at all. Because sure, you have Manny Jacinto who is out being evil because the Jedi were going to label him as dark side either way so he might as well defend himself, for him it's just the way he connects with the Force. But you also have the witches, who's mind infiltration is certainly Dark Side, but are just out here living their best witchy lives. They live by their Thread, regardless of what the Jedi would call it.

As always, also the "the jedi need to be the coolest and the morally purest people in the whole wide world" people are having hissy fits, which is just like...no? Stop being allergic to nuance? We've seen time and time again how the Jedi were in fact a child taking cult (yes, yes they are, if you disagree i'd recommend going and rewatching TPM which spells it out pretty clearly) usually we've just been on the Jedi's POV so it seems justified. The Sol flashback episode I think shows off this mentality very well. He had good intentions, sure, but all in all, he wants to take and even Trinity calls him on it. It's a fascinating examination of what decades later would lead Anakin down a path of desperation.

Speaking of Anakin...People getting suuuuuper protective over Anakin's super special status as 'the chosen one' was also rather surreal to witness. Personally, I don't see how this invalidates his 'the chosen one' in the first place? But people were definitely scraping the bottom of the barrel for things to complain about, as opposed to offering actually constructive criticism, of which there are plenty of options.

Thoughts I had Post Finale

All in all, nothing really changed for me, as usual, the pacing was absolutely fucked and the action was absolutely incredible, and in the end, I enjoyed the experience of watching it.

I certainly appreciate seeing more of the Jedi actively covering shit up, both in little ways as well in big ways.

Also *waves* Hi Plagueis!

My main little gripe

I really don't get why they needed to actively tie Mr. Darth Hotpants over here to Venesta specifically? I get the want to connect him to an established character, it just rang a little hollow for me. I think I'd have preferred it if he was just a rando youngling who never even got to being a Padawan cuz the Jedi kept trying to basically de-dark side him ala grade schools punishing for being left handed. Donno, I just think that would have been a bit more compelling.

My main BIG gripe

Why...THE FUCK...did they split up??? They burned waaaay more time having their little heart to heart then had it been all three of them fucking booking it to the ship. I just don't get it. I don't get why Mae or Osha would want to leave each other again, and I don't get why Manny Jacinto would willingly give up an additional fighter. I get the whole "There can only be two" bit, but A) Plagueis is already there on the island, so Osha makes it three and B) Osha's probably going to be more motivated with a little living reminder of the Jedi's lies being right there and present and C) Osha and Mae are both so fucking powerful why would anyone just let one half of the pair walk away????

It just didn't fit with any of the character's previous actions so it annoys me.

Kinda ended as I began, relatively neutral on it all. Think if pressed would give it a 7/10 just because the action was SO FUCKING GOOD, otherwise it would probably be lower due to the rather painful pacing issues and the meh acting on display from Amandla Stenberg which was just such a huge shame cuz I know she's got more range than this.

Mainly, I just really really hope future shows take from this just how good lightsaber combat can be when you have properly trained performers. THIS should be the standards, and it's painful that its not.

As always thank you for dropping into my ask box! You always give me so much to work with it's a joy to respond :D

[moonlightdancer26]

I'd love to hear your thoughts about Percy! What is your opinion on him in general? Do you like how his character arc was handled by JKR? What are your thoughts on popular fandom takes about Percy (him being a terrible disgrace to the Weasley family for siding with the Ministry/Voldemort; him being a secret hero of the rebellion who deserved better; etc)? And your thoughts on Percy ships? Who, if anyone, do you ship him with?

I think he’s wicked awesome and way too hated, I will genuinely defend him with my life. If my family treated me that badly I’d tell them to fuck off too, he was literally so excluded from his family because he wasn’t some Quidditch-loving jock and actually preferred to study and stay indoors. And he got mocked consistently just because he wanted a bright future. Sure he may appear a bit stuck-up to those who don’t know him well, but his family?? Plus after he legitimately got the job of his dreams, his father’s immediate reaction was to tell him he didn’t actually earn it and that it was all just a ploy. I would actually be so hurt. Like sure Arthur did end up being right, BUT YOU COULD’VE SAID IT A BIT DIFFERENTLY?? A simple “you earned it anyway, son” or “I’m proud of you” would’ve sufficed, alongside an explanation of why Percy MIGHT have gotten the job. He went about it way too harshly, if I got shut down like that after getting the job I’ve been working for my whole life, I’d have done a lot worse.

And I totally get Percy’s resentment, he felt as though his father wasn’t reaching his full potential due to his proud showcase of Muggle-fangirling. And since he (Arthur) was basically the sole provider in a large family that lived in poverty, I can see why Percy would feel frustration towards his father. Plus why do people act as if Percy was always “so horrible” even before he “abandoned” his family? He literally went RUSHING to Ronald when he got out of the lake in GoF and refused to let go of him, and he loved Ginny to death. He was protective of his younger siblings and was pretty funny imo, it’s hard not to sympathise with him when he has siblings like Fred and George.

He genuinely deserved so much better, he was constantly shut down for his accomplishments and cared so much for his siblings despite their mocking, plus he still came back to apologise to them and then proceeded to see his baby brother die in front of him????? How could you hate him after DH?? I don’t think he’s a disgrace to his family at all, sure he was shitty to Molly but, with what he must’ve been going through at the time, I get it. And any resentment he felt towards his family was completely and utterly justified. Plus he literally apologised, so even if you disagree with what I’m saying and think he’s scum or whatever, he legit still apologised to them? He still redeemed himself? Whatever he’s supposedly done that you hate him for, he redeemed himself for it. And I feel like people forget how young Percy was when all this happened? He’s only like 4 years older than Harry and was still 18/19 when all the family drama occurred, and he held a huge responsibility in the ministry. And having grown up as the lone middle child with the burden of knowing his family isn’t respected much must’ve had a tremendous influence on someone as ambitious as Perce. People should really see things from his perspective sometimes. Imo the only genuinely shitty things he’s done is 1. his treatment of Molly 2. his letter to Ron about Harry (but even then, I completely understand why Percy said what he said), anything other than that is usually just exaggerated by his haters.

One character he’s always reminded me of is Alex Dunphy from Modern Family (*tries to summon Modern Family fans*), she was also the odd one out in her family because she was super studious and introverted. And she had a desperate need to prove herself and was very ambitious, much like Perce. Her meltdowns and extreme studying was treated as a joke to the viewers and her sister Haley constantly made fun of her for it. She reminds me a lot of him tbh, which is why I love both characters so much.

lol this was supposed to be a quick short ask explaining why I love him and who I ship him with, and it resulted in a whole rant 😭 that’s usually how I get whenever his name gets brought up. Also Nonnie, I ship Percy with Oliver :D and I think he and Penelope Clearwater really deserved more screentime, they were such a delightful couple imo.

And thanks for the ask btw, I missed talking about him!!

[ilynpilled]

I think most people started liking jb as a couple after the bear pit scene, but when I read the books back in freshman year I think it was the sword fight. Maybe it is the fucked up dynamics enjoyer in me, even though jb ends up being relatively wholesome (at least for this series’s standards lmao). The chemistry in that thing was tangible. It is so funny too bc I always viewed it as proof of Jaime’s attraction/admiration/complex feelings for Brienne already being a serious problem in his subconscious from very early on. Ofc once he actually clashes swords with her, his respect grows noticeably because he also realizes her skill and strength, and Jaime is dudebro powerscaler coded like that. Nonetheless, Jaime at that point being a character that just wants to “cut through” his problems puts that entire scene into a very interesting perspective. Brienne is literally a problem that he wants to cut through. “His brother never untied a knot when he could slash it in two with his sword.” He is in such a dark place as a character that his instinct is to kill his problems, even if said problem is a living person.

“Jaime had told him of it often enough. How time seemed to blur and slow and even stop, how the past and the future vanished until there was nothing but the instant, how fear fled, and thought fled, and even your body. "You don't feel your wounds then, or the ache in your back from the weight of the armor, or the sweat running down into your eyes. You stop feeling, you stop thinking, you stop being you, there is only the fight, the foe, this man and then the next and the next and the next, and you know they are afraid and tired but you're not, you're alive, and death is all around you but their swords move so slowly, you can dance through them laughing." 

He uses violence as a means of depersonalization, as by killing he transforms into some beast who operates on impulse. If he is so powerful physically then he is untouchable and does not have to face complex paradoxes that he cannot seem to overcome inside of his mind and heart. This is also why when this ability is robbed of him he is forced to confront himself.

This parallels Brienne pretty nicely bc she too views fighting as an effective coping mechanism, though it is considerably less dark for her. It is less about enacting violence upon your problems and destroying them and more about protecting yourself from them.

"Fighting is better than this waiting," Brienne said. "You don't feel so helpless when you fight. You have a sword and a horse, sometimes an axe. When you're armored it's hard for anyone to hurt you."

This is also present in the fight itself: “yet somehow he could not reach her. It was as if she had an iron cage around her that stopped every blow.”

Fighting is like a different language these two share. It means more to them than it does to most people. It is a means of survival, not just physically but mentally. No wonder their dreams are often them fighting a manifestation of their trauma with swords. Already there will be a level of intimacy at play during their clash. It is also interesting that this established dynamic of Jaime on the offense, and Brienne on the defense, changes as the fight goes on.

Back to Jaime and how he views her though: She is his captor, sure, but she is also someone that is challenging his entire world view that he constructed for himself to enable his behavior and not get crushed by the weight of his self-concept. She is someone whose judgement of him is so thoroughly founded in genuine care about his victims. She faces him with it head on, not behind his back. The way she dehumanizes him bothers him so much, because she already proves herself to be someone whose opinion of him has weight. She stops to bury innocents that fell victim to her supposed “allies”. He stops to imagine her in Cersei’s gowns, and looks at her muscular calves and arms as she rows, even though the only woman he ever wanted was Cersei. She is his other half, after all. She is a woman that is very competent in a role that was not meant for her by the rules of the realm. So much of his animosity towards her is rooted in all of this, especially considering that she judges him so harshly, with her absolutist morality and naivety pissing off Jaime even more. There is a big part of him that desperately seeks her approval.

THEN THE WAY IT IS WRITTEN. I know George gets shit for his sex scenes but this shit is so good idc. That old man went off here.

“Give me the sword, Kingslayer.” “Oh, I will.” He sprang to his feet and drove at her, the longsword alive in his hands.

The swords kissed and sprang apart and kissed again. Jaime’s blood was singing.

“swinging so hard that sparks flew when the swords came together, upswing, sideslash, overhand, always attacking, moving into her, step and slide, strike and step, step and strike, hacking, slashing, faster, faster, faster… …until, breathless, he stepped back and let the point of the sword fall to the ground, giving her a moment of respite.”

The dance went on. He pinned her against an oak, cursed as she slipped away, followed her through a shallow brook half-choked with fallen leaves. Steel rang, steel sang, steel screamed and sparked and scraped, and the woman started grunting like a sow at every crash”

“Come on, come on, my sweetling, the music’s still playing. Might I have this dance, my lady?”

She is stronger than I am. The realization chilled him.

“His point scraped past her parry and bit into her upper thigh. A red flower blossomed, and Jaime had an instant to savor the sight of her blood before his knee slammed into a rock. The pain was blinding. Brienne splashed into him and kicked away his sword. “YIELD!”

Jaime drove his shoulder into her legs, bringing her down on top of him. They rolled, kicking and punching until finally she was sitting astride him. He managed to jerk her dagger from its sheath, but before he could plunge it into her belly she caught his wrist and slammed his hands back on a rock so hard he thought she’d wrenched an arm from its socket. Her other hand spread across his face. “Yield!” She shoved his head down, held it under, pulled it up.

Brienne lurched to her feet. She was all mud and blood below the waist, her clothing askew, her face red. She looks as if they caught us fucking instead of fighting…Small wonder, we were making enough noise to wake a dragon.”

“Well met, friends,” he called to them amiably. “My pardons if I disturbed you. You caught me chastising my wife.” “Seemed to me she was doing the chastising.”

Swords being used as phallic symbolism is nothing new in literature. Also so funny to me that people think jb being “sexual” would ruin the “purity” and “depth” of the relationship. lmao we are way past the point of it being the “the platonic comrades with mutual respect” thing some of you see it as. I am hesitant to believe that was ever really the case with this relationship.

[twothpaste]

I’d love to see you elaborate on how you personally interpret Ness and Paula’s dynamic/friendship! How you write them together is super refreshing.

Aw, thank ya!! I just love the thought of them being very different sorts of people, who get along brilliantly in spite of it. Or perhaps because of it, in a "complimenting each other's strengths" kinda way (y'know, like how they play during combat in the game). When I started fleshing out personalities for them, I really wanted them to bounce off each other first and foremost. Ness is sappy, Paula's snarky. Ness has peanut butter for brains, Paula's an academic genius. Ness is really emotionally grounded, Paula's kind of a volatile wreck. It makes for a lot of fun little points of contrast, especially in dialogue. The big thing they do have in common is that they're both awfully selfless, and awfully insecure deep down. So their different perspectives end up supporting & uplifting each other, if that makes sense… Ness notices stuff Paula takes for granted, like how good she is with kids, and how carefully she looks out for others. Paula notices when Ness is pushing himself too hard, and might be the only person who can convince him to cut himself some slack.

Before they met, I imagine they were both pretty lonely in their own ways. Ness was isolated by childhood bullying & Porky's fucked up "friendship," Paula by her upstanding hometown reputation & lofty expectations. When they're together, they can just be themselves. No risk of being judged or chastised or pushed around. Their friendship feels like a fresh start. I like to think it's founded on mutual admiration & respect, and a sort of pact to always be genuine with one another. Ness doesn't gotta pretend to be smarter or cooler than he is, Paula doesn't gotta pretend to be "normal" or put-together, they're just kids bein' kids on their own terms! (Or dorky young adults being dorky young adults, when I write 'em at age 20 🤸‍.) They're good for each other. They make me smile. Besties.

[krogerkryptid]

Ace/Aro Identities in Media and Fandom

Alrighty I am jumping on the choo choo train of discussing this topic because OH BOY do I have little big thoughts. As someone who identifies as both asexual and aromanitic I would like to say that that is the perspective I am speaking from. I experience no sexual or romantic attraction and while being open to being in a queer platonic relationship sex would never be a part of it and neither would many aspects of romance. All the words after the cut!

Now to the fun and funky part!! OH MY GOD laddies, lassies, lairds please when something is canonized respect that. You know the joy you felt when your identity was seen on screen for the first time and you felt seen and heard? It's the same for me and for many who identify similarly. Those are big steps in inclusion and allow a lot of people to understand themselves sooner and with less stress and fear. Representation is IMPORTANT regardless of if it's something you identify with or not. Because when it comes to be your turn to see yourself in something I would hope everyone affords you the same courtesy to allow you that joy. Now on to talking about wronguns. As much as I wish to give everyone the benefit of the doubt I have seen aspec people pushed down the metaphorical stairs more times than I can count. This isn't to compare to other identities this is not the oppression olympics and nor will it ever be frankly we're all in this together to create a better world for all of us. If you are comfortable with ignoring ace/aro identities when it comes to shipping and speaking about their character but WOULD NOT do so for other identities that is something that you should deeply think about. In addition to this every person is allowed to experience their identity differently. Some asexual people have sex, some aromantic people date etc. etc. but that doesn't mean that can be taken and applied to every person to make them more palpable for the masses. Some people DON'T want to have sex or be in relationships and that is something that should also be respected. People need to understand that using the "oh well some people are ok with those things!!" is not the win you think it is. Because also some people ARE NOT and that is a core part of who they are and is not something that can be changed. Do better to understand both sides of this coin and if the creators and character in the media has stated that they are ace/aro work to understand that. To the Ace/Aro people and the people who got this far congratulations! I wrote lots of words in a fit of thoughts to place on my little blog and sometimes that is hard to read so thank you! To the aspec crew particularly you are all so incredibly wonderful where ever you fall and you deserve to see yourself in media without it being ignored and pushed aside! I genuinely am so happy to be able to be a part of the community and hope to be able to see so much more of us in the future.

[dreamsndmadness]

WOO HOO!! The long-awaited Paul POV!!

Ok so, I absolutely loved it! The progression of Paul's feelings towards Feyd feel so natural and are so well done, I especially loved how Paul's intellectualizing of Feyd as a puzzle both helped their relationship progress and also allowed him to cope with the trauma. And of course, no writing from Paul Atreides perspective would be complete without him being a total mommas boy lol. His relationship with his mother is genuinely heartwarming. Every time they would interact it was so clear how well they BOTH understood each other, the scene where Paul talks about his confusing sexual feelings towards Feyd and she tells him he has nothing to be ashamed of was so well done and emotionally destroying!!! I love their relationship sm <33.

also, THE DREAM SEQUENCES!!! I had ALOT of thoughts about those, especially the first two and last one. I took those to be showing how Pauls future changes as a result of his relationship with Feyd. While the first one showed his past, the second and last dream sequence showed how Pauls future has changed from the one we know and love from the movies/book to the one where he has a family with Feyd. Also, yay Duncan is alive!! and so is Jamis!!!(speaking of the Fremen, do you think you'll ever deal with how their fate has changed with Paul being presumably out of the picture?). I'm also very much in anticipation of the scene where Paul can't move, which I assume was either him giving birth, or the Bene Gesserit coming to retrieve their Kwisatz Haderach which is an interpretation I'm fonder of. The one that hurt the most was the Feyd one, obviously. I felt so bad for poor baby Feyd all alone in the dark, especially after seeing his relationship with Rabban. I interpreted Rabban's hostility as jealousy at Feyd being the Barons favorite (the Baron grabbed Feyds hand, not his) and also a hint to their future brotherly dynamic. I was a little more confused about Feyds relationship with food in that scene. I THINK that the scene was showing how the Baron used food/his general guardianship over Feyd to abuse and control him and Feyd trying to work his way around it by tiptoeing around the topic of food and then quickly trying to grab some without interference (Feyd tries to make the Baron think he isn't hungry and when the Baron stops him from getting the bread he gives it to him himself to remind him who controls him, also Feyd literally biting the hand that feeds him was great lol)

There's other thoughts I had but I didn't want to make this ask longer than it is! As always thank you for your hard work and amazing writing! ʕ̢̣̣̣̣̩̩̩·͡˔·ོɁ̡̣̣̣̣̩̩̩̩✧

Yay!! I’m glad the progression felt natural. I didn’t want to downplay Paul’s genuine fear towards Feyd, but I also wanted there to be those seeds of attraction and affection. Yes! Good old Paul, intellectualizing everything to help him cope 😔.

Paul and Jessica. Such a fascinating dynamic. I looooved writing them. They love each other so much and are able to read each other with such accuracy. Paul is so interesting because truly he never had friendships with people his own age. And his main “friends” were his parents. Like I think he probably grew up extremely fast and didn’t have much of a childhood (in an extremely different way than Feyd. As for Feyd I think he simultaneously never was allowed to be a child and never grew out of childhood. It’s complicated. So much arrested development there).

Yes, they love spending time together and are able to communicate very openly. It’s a huge help and comfort for Paul to have his mother there in a place where he is feeling intensely vulnerable. And while he might not feel comfortable discussing the mechanics of sex with his mother (totally understandable), he values and respects her advice and input. And he’s able to talk through and process his emotions in a way Feyd is not. (Which, sneak peak, the next few chapters are going to dive deeper into that communication gap between them/emotional maturity gap).

Side note: it has been really interesting and rewarding to dig into this relationship between Paul and Feyd. But also Jessica and Paul. And in the coming stories Jessica and Feyd will spend some more time together which should be fun to write. Really just character in general is so fun to dissect and write about. Love it.

Yes!!! The dream sequences. I had so much fun writing those. When I started writing, I actually wrote the first and last one simultaneously because that was always going to be the direction of Paul’s journey in the chapter: from the past and loss and sadness to the future and hope. Yes! Duncan and Jamis are alive! As this universe progresses, we are going to find out what happened to a lot of the Atreides Household. I also am going to touch on the Fremen. However, it’s going to be a smaller part of this story. Also yes to the future changing as a result of his deepening relationship with Feyd.

The no movement scene 😶. We are going to see that scene come to fruition in this fic.

Ah yes. The Feyd dream sequence. So hard to think about. But so important. Because it is vital to understanding him, for us as a reader and for Paul to start contextualizing their interactions so far and how their relationship will be going forward. He is a deeply wounded character which does not excuse his actions but does help us understand them.

His relationship with Rabban, much like his relationship with the baron, is extremely layered and complicated. I will be diving into it deeper in the sequel fic. I wish we got to see more of them in the film, but I liked seeing what we got. It’s such a small moment in the movie, but when they look at each other during the scene with the emperor, it says so much. Like they could understand what the other was thinking and kinda communicate through that look. Even though there is clear hostility in their relationship, there is still a connection.

In my fic, your interpretation is very accurate. There is a layer of jealousy there as Feyd is certainly the favorite. It seems pretty clear that Feyd is the smarter of the two (although I like what Austen said about Feyd and how he isn’t as smart as he thinks he is, because I think that’s also true). But I also think (very sadly) Feyd is younger when the Baron gets “custody” of them. Rabban is a lot older and grown up and able to fend for himself, where Feyd isn’t.

The food thing!!! I’m so glad you brought it up because I have been wanting to talk about it. I have this whole headcanon about Feyd and his relationship to food. What the Baron is doing is certainly a form of abuse and control. My headcanon is that he controlled Feyd’s eating. Yes, I think as a way of demonstrating his power over him and forcing dependence and also dehumanizing him. But I also think he has a thing about Feyd’s weight. The Baron is an obese man who indulges constantly in gluttony of many kinds. But, he seems to be attracted to thin/waifish boys. I think the Baron controlled Feyd’s weight/appearance for as long as possible for his own purposes. I’ve been laying it in there since the beginning, but Feyd has an odd relationship to food and his body. He’s very conscious of his weight and fat and wants to keep his muscle mass, but not gain fat. He’s also a little weird about eating. And when the Baron comes, we see him lose his appetite and then vomit essentially nothing because he hadn’t eaten all day.

I guess I kinda started this headcanon when I noticed how little body fat Austen had in the movie and how he talked about gaining a lot of muscle for the role. And then I started thinking about the Barons canon tastes. And then I started thinking about how Feyd might have purposely started cultivating bigger muscles as a means of protection… anyway. Um. Maybe that’s too much info lol. But I have so many head canons and theories about both Feyd and Paul. I think Feyd is an extremely damaged and messed up person and it’s going to take a lot of time and effort to untangle that…

As always, thank you for your insightful questions ☺️. I love answering them and getting to talk more about Feydpaul.

[cheeriecherrymain]

Viktor with a partner who was autism?

It's hard to give one singular display of autism, so I used some of the traits I'm most (personally) familiar with!

Requests are open, my loves!

---

Viktor x autistic!Reader

-Okay so when he first meets you, he probably thinks you’re a little eclectic, but he doesn’t judge. He doesn’t know you, after all, and you’re friendly and kind to him.

-Once he starts getting to know you is when he really starts appreciating all your quirks, regardless of whether or not you tell him you’re autistic. You two just really seem to vibe with each other, and you’re not someone who’s ever made him feel like he’s less.

-He is prone to asking questions, though. If he doesn’t know you’re autistic, then the questions will probably be more vague, wondering why you do certain things, and why some stuff seems to bother you. And they’re genuine questions, too. He’s just looking to understand you better.

-If he does know you’re autistic, then his questions are more specific and less immediate, especially if you’re stressed about something. He’ll know better than to ask you something when you’re on the cusp of becoming frazzled, since it could very well be the thing that pushes your day into something unbearable.

-Regardless of when or how he finds out, though, he’s generally pretty nice about it. He knows firsthand how Piltover treats people who are different, and he doesn’t want you to feel like you have to hide parts of yourself around him just to stay safe.

-Once you two become closer, he’s more visibly interested in learning about you. What helps you function, what makes you happy, what things and situations are important to avoid. 

-It’s kind of his way of showing love. 

-He’s not super verbal in expressing himself, so instead he Does Things for you. Takes on some tasks that you maybe struggle with or don’t have the energy for, even if they’re seemingly small from an outside perspective. 

-He starts keeping some things in the lab that he knows can help you de-stress, like a weighted blanket folded up on the old couch in the corner, or a little box of fidgets tucked away on a nearby shelf. He probably even keeps stuff like a sleeping mask, and little bottles of scented oils that he knows you find pleasant.

-He just wants you to be surrounded by things that you find comforting. He knows so well what it can feel like for everything to be Too Much, and yeah, it stems from a different place, but in the end it’s much the same.

-He knows what it’s like to be tired and sore, to the point of crankiness and crying.

-Giving you what he’s able to, in ways he’s able to, is how he says that he loves you.

-He also really loves that you are really willing to respect his boundaries, too. He might have to tell you outright at first, but you never forget after that. 

-When he tells you he doesn’t like crowds, you’re very quick to make sure you never spring anything on him last-minute, and that all your social plans are made well in advance (and with an emergency escape route in case one of you is having a bad time).

-When he admits he doesn’t always have the energy or wherewithal to deal with active conversation, you’re quick to devise a little check-in system. “You okay with noise today, V?” And he can answer accordingly - no questions asked, you’ll respect whatever he says, and you’ll either chatter happily with each other, or you’ll sit Near each other and work on your own tasks.

-Another thing he loves is how passionate you are about your interests. Whether or not they overlap with his, it doesn’t matter. Your eyes light up when you talk, and your hands start going, and from an outsiders’ perspective it might look like an average conversation, but…

-He can see how excited you are, how happy you are to be listened to, how much joy this subject brings you. He knows you, and he knows how you emote, and he just. Loves your energy. He could listen to you talk for hours.

-All in all, he loves you exactly the way you are. He loves your quirks and your passion. He loves the way you wiggle around when you’re happy, and he loves making trinkets for you. He loves your compassion, and he loves the way you seem to understand him in a way most people don’t.

-Even when you’re having a crappy day, full of overstimulation and tears and frustration, he loves you. He wants to be a safe space for you, where you can just be your authentic self and not have to worry about being hurt or judged.

[keysmashhhhhhhh]

Tag Games!!! :))

thank you to @fandomchaosposts and @grandprixwinnerlandonorris for tagging me!!!!! dude i love tag games so much :)))

Who is your favorite driver?

SEBASTIAN VETTEL <3333 always and forever ever since i was a kid its always been him :)

Do you have other favorite drivers?

Ex Drivers: Nico Rosberg (started off liking him because it annoyed my gran who is a massive lewis fan but genuinely he grew to be one of my favourites, especially since retiring) and Jenson Button (my first memory of watching F1 is my gran thirsting over jenson haha)

Current Drivers: LANDO NORRIS (grand prix winner ahhhh), Alex, Oscar, Yuki are the drivers who i cheer for most often but honestly i love most of the current grid

Who is your least favorite driver?

Ooh actually a hard question, i dont "hate" any driver particularly if i dont like them i sort of just dont watch them you know? i know some people love to hate but im not really about that life haha

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?

Its 50/50 - mclaren was always sort of "my" team because when watched f1 with my gran she cheered for lewis and jenson so mclaren always felt like the team to support but when i started to become a seb fan i hopped from red bull to ferrari to aston as he moved.

If you like teams, what team do you pull for?

Mclaren all the way 🧡 

How long have you been into F1?

I have very hazy memories of jenson winning in 2009 but i was 4 years old so i didnt have any critical thinking skills to understand what that meant. i wasn't really "into" it until i a couple of years ago

What got you into F1?

its hard to say, id say the nostalgia of watching it as a kid plus the fact that the community has grown a lot more in the last 10 years plus a seriously improved attitude towards women as fans (i remember in primary school one of the boys used to make fun of me for liking a "boy" sport whenever i talked about f1 - this was only 10 years ago which is crazy)

Do you enjoy Fanfic/RPF?

im a tumblr girl for a reason of course

How do you view new fans?

there is a noticeable difference between newer fans and older fans but i think its all about perspective. i mean i talk to my friend at work and he tells me about the races he watched in the 80s and 90s so of course to him im a new fan of f1 but when i talk to people who got into it in the last couple of years they see me as an older fan so i think its all about respecting the people who were fans before you and also welcoming the people who have become fans after you :)

If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?

Williams (my qualifications is i can sort of use Microsoft excel haha)

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?

My gran is the og lewis hamilton fangirl, my mum is into it (she's a george russel fan) and my sister is a charles fan - funny story my dad absolutely hates sports so he's the only one not interested but he absolutely LOVES LOVES LOVES nico rosberg and says he dresses like a bond villain

Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?

OMG YES!!! its so funny though because i always assume my mutuals are like wayyyyyyy cooler than me haha

Tagging (no obligation if you're not feeling up to it!) @love4lando @sof1shticated @multiseb21 @formulapisces @481boxboxbaby @georgeinamerc + anyone else who feels like it!!!!