#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.

[angelsdean]

ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

[thorne1435]

(1st off, i am a trans man) personally, it makes me slightly uncomfortable when other trans men center their own experiences. don’t get me wrong, we have a right to talk about our issues, but i can’t help but feel like there’s a victim complex going on when some guys say that TERFs are “just as dangerous” to trans men or that baeddelism is a relevant issue (while brushing the misogyny and toxic masculinity in the ftm community under the rug). the fact that you made a post about trans unity and the first ask you got was about how trans men aren’t supported enough by trans women? but like, is that true? is it not ALSO an issue that trans women aren’t supported enough by trans men?

Okay, I hear you, and I acknowledge that I (unfortunately) have fairly limited experience with trans men but I don't know if I like the idea of discounting what they have to say as "a victim complex."

They just want to be heard. And I think they have a right to be upset, given how little representation trans men are given in media. I never saw any discussions on transmasc issues until I came to Tumblr. Never saw it on YouTube or Reddit. Online leftist circles--and even online trans circles!--don't talk about trans men! So, y'know what? If they're being a little melodramatic about their issues, maybe it'll off-set the lack of any knowledge of their issues in the first place.

And also, I think toxic masculinity and misogyny are sort of part of being a man, right now? Which certainly isn't to say it's inherent to men, but society does encourage it. That's what I think should change about being a man. This goes back to societal misandry, I think. Toxic Masculinity is just a manifestation of societal forces that encourage men to behave in unhuman ways, and I think it would be immature of me to expect trans men to perfectly avoid that, in their pursuit of masculinity.

Gender is a performance. We are all looking for the role that makes us most comfortable, but the baggage attached to the roles isn't something you can side-step so easily. Cis people have an advantage on this front, in that they are capable of proving their masculinity or femininity via means other than pure performance. Society *expects* them to be men or women and that means they can gesticulate towards genitalia whenever they're called into question. (They don't always do that, and it's sort of transphobic when they do, but the ones who are comfortable with themselves might say something like that, all the same)

A trans man will uphold toxic masculinity the same way that a trans woman will submit herself to misogyny: it is in pursuit of the perfect encapsulation of the role. Unless we feel like we adequately perform the role inherently, we are inclined to tolerate--and ergo embody, to an extent--the negativity present in the roles we desire.

I believe that lowering the standards for who can be seen as valid in masculinity will alleviate quite a bit of misogyny, whether that misogyny be among transmascs or cis men. So, in saying that, I hope I also illustrate why I'm quick to jump to their defense while also tacking on my ideas about societal misandry and its toll on men.

On the subject of whether or not transfems actually don't support transmascs...I guess I wouldn't really know. I'm not in trans communities because I don't live in a place where that kind of community could show up. I imagine this problem is being blown out of proportion a little bit, but the ask I think you're talking about did say that it was sort of a Tumblr thing? And internet discourse is just...fuckin...so unbelievably shitty. So I'm not too worried about it.

I mean, I'm not going to immediately assume any transfem I meet is inherently misandristic or otherwise bigoted towards transmascs, but I'm still gonna go to bat for transmascs if they get shit-talked, y'know?

[ddollfface]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐅𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠…

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘅 𝗮𝗳𝗮𝗯!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘅 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗕𝗶𝗺𝗯𝗼

"Sorry, I texted you when I was drunk...I just think about you all the time :(("

"She's my best friend, and, yeah, I might be in love with her, what about it?"

Trigger Warnings; talking about breaking into your house (it'll make sense later lol), hinting at yandere behaviors, fluff, somewhat gaslighting, reader is referred to as a girl, lesbians ig idk (is that a warning??) If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Just a small scenario about some new ocs! And they come as a pair btw! If you have any other ideas abt them, then request something! Or anything, I'm running out of ideas LOL-! Hope you have a good day/night <333

God, this is horrible...

It's always like this when it comes to them, it's like their water and oil, fire and ice, the moon and sun. They're constantly bickering and fighting, always pulling each others' hair, and there's never a moment where they're not insulting the other. For some odd, reason, which you don't know, they just hate each other.

No matter how many times you've tried getting them to settle this drawn-out dispute, they never solve it. If anything, it makes it worse. It causes them to just argue more and turn to you as the judge, making you choose between the two.

Now, you're stuck in this shitty situation, having to choose between two of your friends. Lovesick!Friend has always been there for you, sticking by your sick through thick and thin, comforting you when you got dumped, and helping you study when you were struggling in math. Lovesick!Friend is a little awkward, but she means well. She can't help if she's a little anti-social, if anything, it's endearing to you.

While, on the other hand, Lovesick!Bimbo has been nothing but a sweetheart, always introducing you to new people, though you suspect they're her ex-hookups. She's always helping you with your make-up, picking outfits, and being a funny companion. Lovesick!Bimbo, though she's an airhead, has a heart of gold and she'll never pass an opportunity to comfort you. She's always hugging your arm, kissing you on the cheek, and providing that feminine comfort.

But now they're putting you in this situation, having to choose between the two. That's the hard thing, you can't. You really can't imagine your life without either one of them. They're both great friends to you and it'd be pretty depressing if you had a fallout with one of them. And the situation hasn't lightened up; it's gotten worse. It's starting to become too big of a problem, one that you can't brush under the rug.

It's escalated to where they're "breaking" into your apartment, and you use that term loosely. As the two aren't even sneaky about it! They both just waltz into your home like they own the place! And all you get in return is a, calm down, I just want to spend more time with you, y'know? I mean, with finals week and all... or a, Come on, babesss!! We're, like, so close! There's no point in trying to get away from me!!

Both trying to spend more time with you. Though, when you think about it, you're not too sure how they got your keys 'cause you sure as hell didn't give it to them...

But that's beside the point, it's getting really irritating for you. You'll be coming home from a tiring day of work, only for you to find LoveSick!Bimbo asleep on your bed or rummaging through your clothes, which you're not too sure on what she's looking for. Or you'll find LoveSick!Friend cooking dinner in your kitchen. Once you even walked into the two having a full-on fistfight in your living room!!

And these little incidents lead to moments like this: where you're pressed between the two, stuck in a drawn-out cuddle session.

...

LoveSick!Bimbo had just stopped by, wanting to drop off some cupcakes for your mama, who was stuck in the hospital after surgery. Such a sweet girl she is, doing such a kind thing for you, though her excitement was cut short after seeing you and LoveSick!Friend lying on the couch. The two of you were far too close for her liking. Baby!!! What are you doing, cuddling without meee! Why are you abandoning me like thiss-!

LoveSick!Bimbo then threw a hissy fit. She stomped her sparkly heels and pursed her pretty lips, you could even see tears swell in her eyes. She set the cupcakes on the counter and ran over to the two of you. She pushed past LoveSick!Friend and squeezed herself between the two of you. She wrapped her arms around your waist, tucking her face into your neck, and holding you against her chest like her life depended on it. Of course, LoveSick!Friend wasn't having it. She tried pulling the girl off of you but to no avail. God dammit, you prick, get off of her!! You're gonna kill her!

LoveSick!Bimbo just held on tighter. She pressed herself against you, not wanting to let go. Not even noticing how her tits were right in your face, causing your mind to go fuzzy and face to flush. She even made a smug comment about how you shouldn't be afraid, babes, you can touch 'em if ya' want ;)

LoveSick!Friend scoffed, pushing against LoveSick!Bimbo's face, trying to push her off the two of you. She tried situating herself so that she was closer to you than LoveSick!Bimbo, but the other was stubborn, not wanting to let you up. The two proceeded to have a mini tug-of-war, with you being the prize. The girls shifted positions and moved you around, not seeming to care if they were groping you too much, until they came to an agreed position.

You were stuck between the two girls, lying on LoveSick!Friend, with LoveSick!Bimo pressed against your chest. LoveSick!Friend had her hands playing with your hair, giving you a free massage, while LoveSick!Bimbo was practically groping your boobs. Her face snug in your cleavage, your arms wrapped around your hips, foundling with your love handles. All the while, LoveSick!Friend pressed her face in the crook of your neck, pressing kisses on the junction of your neck and shoulder. You could feel her bouncy curls tickle your skin, causing you to squirm.

All this was too much, you were feeling too much in too little time. It was all overwhelming, having two, very attractive, girls cuddle up to you. And it feels wrong, feeling this way, seeing as they're your friends. But one can't control their heart...right?

It felt awkward; you really didn't know what to do, so you just wrapped your arms around LoveSick!Bimbo's shoulders, bringing her body closer to yours. This only caused LoveSick!Bimbo to squeal, tightening her grip on you and whispering small praises about how you're so frickin' cute! I could just eat ya' up! Love ya' and 'ur sweet curves! EEK-!

Only for LoveSick!Friend to grumble and tell LoveSick!Bimbo to shut it with the squealing, you're hurting her ears, you dimwit.

You could only chuckle at the scene. The constant bickering was growing on you, maybe this isn't too bad...

[inumakisser]

i already sent something like this in nectardaddy's inbox but like im still thinking about ex!inumaki (who can speak normally here because WHY NOT?) who you also haven't seen in like a year after you both graduated. You attend a reunion party that Yuuji set up and you didn't realize that he would be there too, walking next to Yuta and Maki.

I mean, yeah he grew a bit taller, his hair still looks the same, his shoulders got a bit broader, and his hands—maybe you should snap out of it instead of observing what changed about him?

Yuuji suggests to play 7 minutes in heaven in his closet and deciding who goes in by spinning a bottle. You and your friends sit down on the rug, exchanging glances with a smirk on their faces as the bottle spins.

And the first spin chose you, and light chuckles come out of your friends' lips. You were hoping it would be someone like Maki or Megumi to be in that closet with you, but fate had other plans.

The tip of the bottle pointed to Inumaki, you could, right before you stood up to walk to the closet, see how the corners of his lips creeped into a faint smile.

Well, maybe this might be a good idea? Can't two people reconnect?

So you both get in the really tight closet, because this could be a chance for you to talk to him.

For the first minute, nothing was really going on, except for the husky breaths and how your hands shook whenever Inumaki's fingers brushed against your skin.

For the second minute, it was getting too hot inside of that damn closet, you couldn't even handle eye contact with him during all of this. He was getting more handsy by the second, it was making your cheeks have a hint of red in them.

Three minutes would pass, not a single word came out of your lips. You should speak, but you couldn't. You had the urge to just pull him by the collar of his sweater and just start going at it, but you knew better than that!

(a bit nsfw under this!)

Yet, you still did it. His hands roaming all over you, slipping under your skirt, his fingers teasing your panties. Eventually he slips a finger or two into your folds, his fingers already slick from how wet you were just from looking at him.

Your mind was already too fuzzy to even try to stop your own noises. But, you missed this, didn't you?

You both were so distracted making out that you didn't even notice it was already past 7 minutes. "Wait- i think we should stop..-" You breathed, trying to keep silent because your friends are literally just outside of this closet! They might hear you squirming and whimpering your ex's name and how heavy his own breaths were.

"Don't worry, they're too drunk to realize," Toge plants kisses from your jaw to your collarbone, sending shockwaves through your body. He was knuckles deep in you, curling to hit that spot. "they won't know about it in the morning."

This was a bad idea, right?

(this is my first serious oneshot since last year LMAOO my beta reader responded in 2 days SOOOO..)

[chefkids]

The Worst is Yet to Come

I already posted about the note saying Ziggy, but tldr is that a series of misfortunes are still to come. I think Season 3 will begin jumping straight into the chaos that the end of Season 2 set up.

This whole past season was a build up to tension, a ticking time bomb as all those clocks reminded us. And in the end, yes, Carmy exploded, but everyone around him is also facing their own problems that keep getting pushed aside in order to pay attention to his. I think Season 3 will start right off with the fall out of it all.

We already know Marcus is going to have to deal with his mothers situation. Whether she's dead or is very ill, he is going to have to focus on that, and they only have 4 days until the official opening. Marcus plays a major role in so many dishes like the focaccia, cannoli, sundae, donut, and honey buns. Without him like half the menu is gone. Which might open up a window of opportunity to bring back our second favorite tatted up Chef from Copenhagen.

Unfortunately, I do think Natalie's shoulder pain is more than a passing comment. It can be sign of serious conditions such as preeclampsia, specifically HELLP Syndrome. Which is ironic, because she is always the one trying to help others, but the roles would finally be reversed and she'll be the one having to accept other people's help. HELLP is usually only treated at that point by giving birth or by going on bed rest and taking medications until it's ready to be induced, which she probably wasn't planning on doing for at least another month or two given that she's likely around 7ish months at the moment.

The Carmy and Donna reunion is not a matter of if but when. I think Natalie getting sick will be the catalyst for them coming together again. We know Carmy avoided his family after Mikey died and he still carries some guilt over that, and at this point Natalie is his only closest family member and he would not abandon her. We know Natalie still wants her mother in her life, and even though she still hasn't told her about the baby, she was planning to at Friends & Family. If she felt like there was something seriously going on, she or Pete would call her.

Richie. We saw him at his best but that doesn't mean he's fully changed overnight. After what Carmy said to him I could see him not returning for a while just to prove a point that he can be good on his own and he doesn't need Carmy's handouts. Which would put them in a tense spot at the restaurant.

Sydney, as much as she tries to communicate with Carmy, still keeps her actual feelings and frustrations with him bottled up. She jumps around hoops, just like him, to avoid saying directly what is bothering her. They still haven't discussed the mess at the end of Season 1 that was seemingly brushed under the rug when they decided to jump into the new build. I think she will find out either directly or indirectly that she is essential for Carmy keeping his cool, and that will put a lot of pressure on her. They spend so much time apologizing rather than actually trying to change things and all that has to burst out eventually.

With the chaos around him, the only thing Carmy knows how to control is the kitchen. I think we are going to see him go fully stone cold Michelin Chef because if Marcus, Richie, and Natalie are out, they're fucked.

[gabessquishytum]

I had an idea for an arranged marriage au. This au probably would be set in Victorian England. So Dream is a trans man, though it being Victorian England, he probably wouldn't call himself that. He's just always felt an overwhelming sense of wrongness about his biology, his place in society, and how people regard him and he's always been angry about it. Very angry about it. He's always done his best to rebel against his parents' expectations where he can and as a result his parents regard him as a disappointment to the family and do their best to keep him from ruining the family's reputation. Dream himself is very bitter about his circumstances and is depressed. He spends as much time as he can get away with locked in his room reading and writing stories, because since his family's rich, he was able to get a pretty decent education unlike a lot of afab people at the time.

Enter the Gadlings. The Gadlings are a family of similar rank as the Endless and have only one child, Hob. Now Hob is gay and is very much no interested in getting married to a woman, but his parents are very eager for him to pass on the family name. Hob is able to brush them off for a while, but then he gets caught sleeping with another man. Now his parents are able to sweep this under the rug, for the most part, but present him an ultimatum where basically either he has to get married or they'll disown him, and if he gets disowned, he'd probably have to face imprisonment at the very least, because sodomy laws. So reluctantly, he agrees to get married.

The only problem is, Hob was just in a scandal where he was caught sleeping with another man, so he's not exactly desirable. But the Endless, who are desperate to get rid of Dream and not exactly up to date on the drama and rumors regarding Hob, see him as the perfect oppertunity to marry Dream off.

Neither Hob nor Dream are particularly happy about this arrangement. Dream is determined to make this as difficult as possible out of spite. He's honestly, though he'd never admit it, kind of scared about the whole situation because he's half expecting to be expected to marry a man who's like twice his age and someone he'd doesn't find attractive at all who'd take what little freedom he's painstakingly demanded from his family. He's also terrified at the idea of having to spend the rest of his life (or his husband's life, don't think the idea of poisioning his betrothed after they're married and he's willed all his possessions to Dream, hasn't occured to him), having unfulfilling sex where he's expected to pretend to be a woman and act accordingly.

But both Hob and Dream are pleasantly surprised when they meet each other. Dream, though he doesn't really show it because he's not going to let his parents have anything, is surprised by how attractive Hob is and is a little relieved at the fact that Hob doesn't seem happy about the whole situation, just kind of resigned to it. Hob is surprised that he actually finds Dream attractive, after all Dream has done his best to look as masculine as possible, within his means. Dream's still wearing a dress, as would be expected of a woman, but his hair is short and messy (because Dream cut it himself when his parents hired someone to do his hair), he's not wearing any make up, and it looks like he's done his best to hide his chest with his corset. The thing that surprises Hob the most about Dream is that it sounds like he's done his best to make his voice as deep as possible, and Hob finds it very attractive. Hob is also getting vibes from Dream that Dream might be okay with his own queerness.

Dream is very cold and aloof to Hob while his parents are around, but is a bit curious about him, so is less so when they finally get a moment alone. They realize that they actually have quite a lot in common as far as their interests go and have similar tastes in literature.

At this point Dream is relieved that this won't be a literal nightmare for him.

The night of the wedding (yes Dream absolutely wore a black wedding dress), Dream is expecting Hob to want to have sex with him and is rather dreading it because the idea of having sex as a woman is painful for him to think about, though he's not necessarily opposed to having sex with Hob. So Dream gets very cold and is basically resigned to it until Hob is like, "hey, I'm not going to force myself on you" and then goes on to explain how it came to be that he was forced into an arranged marriage. Of course, Dream being Dream, the conclusion he comes to is "so you don't want to have sex with me" and Hob is just confused and not sure how to respond, and is like "well, not necessarily, but only if you want it." Dream doesn't really respond and Hob isn't sure what's going on in his head because he's getting very mixed signals from Dream, so he asks, "do you want to have sex with me?" and Dream just sighs because it's Complicated.

Eventually Dream explains his feelings towards gender, society's expectations, his biology, and his general discomfort and anger at the world, and how that leads him to have very complicated feelings about sex. And Hob doesn't quite get it, but as a fellow outcast from society who has to hide who he is from most people, wants to support Dream. So he's like "so you want to live as a man" and Dream's eyes widen in hope and he looks away from Hob, half ashamed that he couldn't be satisfied with what society deemed worthy for his birth sex, but he says "yes, that's exactly it, I want to live as a man and be treated as a man, not as a woman"

After this conversation and they've both had a moment to process (they went to sleep soon after this conversation that night), Hob realizes that this might be the best possible outcome for the both of them. So Hob goes out and buys a bunch of men's clothes in what he thinks would be Dream's size and is basically like "I have an idea." Hob suggests that since they have money, they can move to somewhere where no one knows them and Dream can just live as a man from then on and Hob would refer to him as a man from then on and no one would be the wiser, of course, dealing with their families wouldn't be the easiest for either, but once they've moved they'd only have to deal with them and their constant questions about them having children around holidays. But for the most part, they're able to live in peace and no one where they've moved suspects that Dream was born female, and they just pretend to be "close friends." They're happy and people leave them alone, they end up opening up a bookstore that they both run and where Dream occasionally publishes his own work.

In the end, they end up falling for each other and they're both happier than they could have ever imagined that they could have been considering who they are and their circumstances.

I've read this a couple of times and every time I get choked up!! Idk, I love it when queer people get to have a happy ending against the odds. Especially in a historical au like this! And queer allyship is always beautiful - not necessarily understanding the other person's personal struggles, but always empathising with them regardless.

I'm imaging the slow process of them becoming friends and then falling in love - which is funny when they're literally married already. The gentle flirting and loving looks turn into holding hands and shy kisses. Hob learns as much as he can about Dream’s preferences in the bedroom, and they eventually decide that it would be beneficial to invest in a nice sex toy so that Dream can fuck Hob.

As far as anyone else is concerned, they're just a fair of confirmed bachelors. No one knows that they're actually legally married - perhaps the only two married men in the country!! It gives them a lot of joy - more than either of them could have ever imagined before they met <3

[tirfpikachu]

i'm tired of arguing over terminology with tras.

cis can just mean non-trans to me.

let's be the ones to define our often misunderstood cis/biological womanhood. like yeah, we're female and not trans... and we're oppressed bc we're female, and we don't get to transition out of facing daily misogyny. we're born in it and trapped in it. we have certain unique privileges over transfems ofc, but all amab/male ppl have certain privileges over us. we're two differently marginalized groups. they have a certain type of privilege over us on virtue of not growing up facing misogyny, not having to experience misogyny trauma which can be debilitating as fuck and gives amab ppl a leg up in life in some areas (emphasis on some). cis/bio women aren't the one-way oppressor that people portray us as. many of us would even qualify as trans/nonbinary to you but feel more post-gender. we just align with our agab/sex neutrally, we have a weird dynamic with our bodies but we don't want to run away from being female. we're just female ppl who don't identify out of our femaleness. even if we have actual dysphoria we just so happen not to use the trans or nonbinary label and many of us end up healing their dysphoria, like me, through sisterhood & trauma processing. not everyone can do that obvs, but even outside of that radblr can be a space for transmasc ppl to not feel so alone in their afab childhood traumas. isn't leftist culture all about respecting different marginalized experiences? can't we define ourselves? can't we be the ones to tell you what cis womanhood, biological womanhood, being a non-trans female person means to us without being constantly talked over? men fucking hate us and fetishize us for being cis. most cis men are only into afab/female people, we're the target, if they get tricked into being with a transfem without knowing they have the typical throwing up scene bc that's just not what they're into. me being born seen as a girl and growing up seen as a girl and facing grown woman shit isn't a privilege. many cis women have faced worse than some trans people but they're told to shut tf up and be good allies without getting any allyship back. it's not equal and it's fucking unfair. the way that trans ppl are treated on radblr can be super shitty. the way that cis women are treated by trans ppl can be super shitty too. sorry for being a peace-loving centrist i guess. can't we shake hands? as long as shit gets figured out, of course. brushing things under the rug hasn't helped anybody

please have nuance. there are different ways of being oppressed, and both parties may have privileges over eachother. it's not an attack. cis/bio women have to be good allies to people who face transphobia, and trans ppl need to be good allies to cis/bio women for growing up as girls and facing misogyny as adults and medical misogyny relating to female biology, which male/amab ppl do not face. things just need to make fucking sense. we're both marginalized groups!!! we're leftists!!!!! we believe in the same shit why tf are we tearing eachother apart?? the patriarchy is loving it jsyk. ofc they would want us to focus our energy on infighting rather than on the shitty bio men terrorizing bio women AND trans people. we're wasting so much time. you gotta shake hands and return to the battle. gotta join forces. gotta make compromises. you both fucked up in different ways and many ppl got hurt in the radfem-trans battle. you gotta make amends and move tf on and fight the patriarchy!! please. compromises. peace. actually figuring shit out. we're wasting so much time on very dumb things, both sides are, and we're not calling out the shitty ppl within our own communities bc we assume they're fake or they're trolls. there will always be shitty ppl in every leftist movement and you need to root them out and educate them. not everyone needs to do educational activism, ofc, but some of us want to and many of us can make social progress this way. i think trans ppl should give cis/bio women the mic sometimes. we may have more nuanced shit to tell you than you think. and we might still be trans allies, and some of us might even be trans. listen to us!! we still want to be your allies, most of us anyways!!! don't define us by shitty ppl that crop up around radblr sometimes. so many of us are willing to embrace nuance and maintain equal allyship. we're all marginalized and fighting the patriarchy should be #1 priority above all, so let's talk this out, wrap things up and move tf on!!!!

[whumpshaped]

hey i’m really sorry if this is dumb but do you ever feel bad about enjoying whump? if so, how do you deal with it? i’m having a hard time with liking it. i love reading it but it occasionally makes me feel like a terrible person

its not dumb! i have some disorders that make it hard for me to feel bad abt stuff just for moral reasons alone, but i do get the terrible feeling sometimes when im afraid others will think im a terrible person lol if that makes any sense- so yeah i get the shame around it. i was lucky enough to be the quirky fun guy anyway so having slightly stranger interests wasnt a big deal for me.

this got very long bc i always have many thoughts on this

let me just start this by saying u totally dont have to feel bad for liking it. at all. everybody tends to like some form of whump, even if they dont call it that. the middle aged christian woman reading her 100th romance novel packed with fucking angst is an avid enjoyer of emotional whump in my book. and the guy who jokes about whump enjoyers being crazy and then turns around and watches marvel movies with blood and beat up heroes in it, well-

humans are just fascinated with pain. physical, emotional, all of it. it's just how we are, i think. we love to explore pain in fantasy, through characters separate from us, while we sit in our room comfortably (controlled danger! like rollercoasters). it can be cathartic. it can be how we find and understand ourselves. it can be comforting to know hey, this character went through something like that, that means the author must have some experience with it. there's at least one other human who gets me.

enjoying/reading/writing whump can be a perfect outlet, like hitting a punching bag repeatedly. it can be how someone digests their own trauma. it can just be a kink thing. it doesn't have to have deep moral things attached to it, sometimes seeing fictional characters hurt just tickles the brain and that's that. it doesn't matter, because it's all fictional, it doesn't hurt anyone. unless your preferred media is like, literal hate speech and propaganda against real life people, (in which case it DOES hurt ppl), there's literally nothing wrong with looking at a character being beaten and going "hey, thats cool".

also i will never not say this but even the fucken bible is straight whump and no one will ever change my mind. i tried to be a good christian and what did i find? whump.

also, there's like... a huge portion of people who read whump for the comfort of it. yes the character goes through shit, yes it's horrible, but guess what, they come out on the other side unquestionably changed but still worthy of recovery. they find peace, they heal, they find friends and family, they're comforted and listened to. that's something a lot of people read whump for. there's a reason it's called hurt/comfort. and there's also a very good post about how so many of us read it because the whumpees' trauma is always acknowledged. maybe not in the story, but we as readers understand that they went through some shit, and thus their trauma is always validated in some way. that can be a comfort as well, in a world where so many people's issues get brushed under the rug and ignored and overlooked and straight up invalidated.

but even if you're not into the comfort aspect (which i wasnt for a long time!!!!! i was strictly here for the hurt!!!!!!) you're not some sort of monster for it. i'd say quite the contrary. i'd say if you regularly engage with media like this, where the character's emotions are laid out so bare, and explored so deeply, you're more in tune with your own emotions too. i couldve punched holes in walls like some people i know (i have anger issues), but instead i grabbed my laptop and wrote about a character being beaten to a pulp. no damage to person or property. done. others read it and enjoyed it, and i even got serotonin from likes and reblogs, which lifted my mood, so that was a whole net positive.

seriously look at the most popular media too. it's whump. always has been. a good friend of mine whos a little weirded out by some of the gore i write is OBSESSED with game of thrones for example. and he recommended it to me because hey i love bloody stuff dont i? and i loved the torture scenes and he loved to hate and be enraged and a little grossed out by them. we enjoyed the series together. neither of us was terrible for it.

all this to say, you're not the odd one out. even if your interests count as more "taboo", like some of mine, unless you go out there and punch someone in the face, youre good in my books. and again, even punching someone in the face can be morally neutral or positive between consenting adults so. HUMANS JUST ENJOY EXPLORING PAIN. THATS MY HOT TAKE FOR TODAY.

thank u for coming to my ted talk

[quitealotofsodapop]

Oof, the mental image of Wukong struggling desperately to lift his own staff, to try to fix just one of his many, many mistakes. Terified of losing what he had managed to find in this new mortal life of his but unable and unwilling to risk his loved ones through inaction and being willing to throw it all away just to keep his mate and unborn child safe. Him near collapsing in despair when it becomes clear he CAN'T lift it, and he basically and just ruined another set of relationships by revealing his true self to his new family only to be unable to even fulfill the purpose for which he had revealed that information.

And then his family is just suddenly THERE. Pulling his paws from the staff and supporting him and he's probably so confused at that moment. He'd lied to them, tricked them, and took advantage of their kindness! Why aren't they mad at him? Why aren't they disgusted? Everyone else he'd met in his life would have thrown him out the moment he told then he wasn't who he told them he was, why are these familiar yet so very unfamiliar souls he's come to love as family not doing the same!?

Just that whole mental image as his family comforts him after such a big reveal. They're going to have to talk about it, of course, Wu being Sun Wukong isn't something they can just brush under the rug like a broken tea cup. But for now, they're just happy to have found their friend and that Wukong hadn't managed to disappear or do something too self-destructive before they found him.

sequel to this post.

ALL OF THIS!!!

Wukong is willing to break his arms and back if it means pulling the Staff out of the ground. And even with little Red offering him a magical assist, he simply *can't*. Not when his powers have been dampened, not when he feels the furthest from worthy he has in centuries.

Initially Tang had been the only one there, as Red kidnapped him under the false pretenses that the scholar was a trained monk that could help him, and the convo between him and Wukong gets very heated.

Wukong: *is struggling to lift the staff, clearly in pain* Tang: "Wu stop, you're going to hurt yourself." Wukong: "No! I can do this! I just need to pull harder!" Tang: "Wu, please! I don't care who you used to be! Whatever is happening, I don't think it's worth killing yourself over it! Wukong: "But I have to! I need to for Mihou and the Egg!" Tang: "We can help you! Please Wu-" Wukong: "JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME DO THIS MASTER!!" *deafening silence* Wukong: *falls to his knees sobbing. Hands still clutching the unmoving Staff* Wukong: *feels a bump against his hip. turns and sees a familiar pair of firey eyes* Toddler Red Son: *softly headbutts Wukong's hip in a way typical of a curious/concerned bull calf* Wukong: *sobbing even harder as he allows an arm to rest around the calf's body in a half-hug* Tang: *calmly walks forward and leans body against Wukong's. Pets the monkey's head comfortingly*

Wukong is nearly catatonic from the stress of it all. And thats before Pigsy, Sandy, and lil Mei get there! Lets just say Sun Wukong gets a lot of comforting in this sequence.

[dearweirdme]

Tae's lives have diminished any and all doubts I've ever had about his relationship with jungkook. People are taking the first live too casually imo. It was a huge huge revelation. Just replace jk with any lady, and tae saying that she sings that song for him. It's such a sweet and romantic song. People would've jumped with that piece of info and anyone denying it would've been called a delulu y/n. But since it was jk, most of them have straight up brushed it under the rug.

Them being sighted on dates etc has always been justified by the larger fd as just bros hanging out, even if they forget that you don't usually book tables in advanced at very expensive restaurants just to hang out with your bro, or even book an entire suit for filming a dance challenge.

Anyways, even if those dates were overlooked, how is this serenading platonic?

Army are usually quick to pick out even minor details in members' lives but somehow none of them, apart from tkkrs, have picked up the very clear jk phantom from tae's live? It sounds so much like jk that even if you tried you can't deny that it's him.

I think those who still berate tkkrs should instead take a look at their own behaviours regarding tkk. They've been so quick to jump on the awkward bros wagon but can't even fathom the fact that there might be something b/w them.

Tae has never hidden much when it comes to him and jk and its bcs of ot7s that he is able to do so coz he is well aware that anything short of them coming out is gonna wake them from their stupor

Hi anon!

That first live was absolutely something. I think we were all shocked and endeared at the same time. Speaking for myself, I think I have a good idea about how much they love each other, and Tae missing Jk this much is absolutely something I feel is part of their connection. It's what I would imagine, but what I would not have expected to ever see. We pick up these small things and when looking at the whole all these small things combined is actually something huge, but we don't often see something so clear. Imo them at Dream was also huge, but the difference is that this was a spontaneous moment in which Tae just shared something he felt in connection to Jk. He was in his feelings, suddenly wanted to hear a song Jk always sings to him. It's a specific song to him and the meaning of that song is tied to Jk. Just hearing the song wasn't enough, he wanted to hear Jk sing it. It just fits in how I see them. I believe they are very capable of being without each other for times, they have friends they hang out with without the other, they have schedules and events and whatnot's to attend alone and they do just fine with that, but I also think they have a need for each other. A need for the comfort and love they can only get from each other... and that's completely normal to have in a relationship. Did Tae intent to share this with us? I don't think so.. you can kinda see him hesitate for a bit just before he says he want's to listen to the song Jk always sings for him, but he just went for it because it's what he felt and there's really nothing more satisfying than to be able to just say what you feel when the feelings are strong. I think we just witnessed Tae being in the moment.

Ofcourse Jkkrs and anti's were quick to call him an attentionseeker like they always do. But they are just doing that because it fits their own ideas and Tae being honest will stand in the way of whatever it is they choose to believe.

The funny thing is though, that after Tae's latest live (the one in bed with sounds of someone else there) I got only one ask (!) saying Tae was alone in his bedroom. That's it! No "you're delusional", no "it was Jennie", no "It was a friend", no "if it was Jk it's because they're friends"... nothing! And it's been unexpected. I have been wondering if this is going around fandom even, because we all know how Jkkrs and anti's are usually very quick to jump in my asks and get all angry... and I don't actually think me posting Taekook pics really works in keeping them away 😂. So I do wonder what's up with that. Have they all decided to just ignore it completely? Are they dumbstruck? Do they realize it's Jk and they know they can't call Tae an attentionseeker when Jk is actually next to him?

[extralively]

Sooooo, I just caught up to your latest chapter upload 😭 And umm.... I think my heart just grew 10 sizes 🥹.

Dear heavens above, please keep the Gojo-Wakatsuki-Fushiguro family safe. 🙏 I mean, they've been giving family vibes since Book 1, but this latest chapter is a whole other level.

Yura being fiercely protective of Tsumiki (like a real mom), Megumi being supportive and watching over Tsumiki, Tsumiki being concerned for everybody in spite of her condition and her need for recovery, and Satoru being such a provider and an absolute pillar of resilience, doing his best to hold it all together and even bring the four of them back to his own apartment. Like, okay Dad.

And Tsumiki is a sorcerer now! UAHDKGHASDGK

How do I properly compute this information..? Canon-divergence go BRRRRR~ Let's gooooo 🔥🔥🔥.

Also Yura the Curse Breaker is one hell of a title. 🔥🔥🔥

(I am wondering if Tsumiki turning into a sorcerer is because of Yura, or if it's just an aftereffect of Yura dismantling Tsumiki's curse. 👀 Strongly speculating that Tsumiki has Yorozu's curse technique, but I'll be here waiting patiently for whatever you have planned for 'Miki as the story progresses.. I'm so happy she's alive and well istg 🥹😭)

Side note: There's the rare and occasional story where Tsumiki is present alongside Gojo's love interest and Megumi, and I feel so bad for Tsumiki most of the time, because imagine being a normal human in a "family" full of sorcerers. I don't care how loving that family is portrayed to be, it still has to be an isolating experience. Being the odd one out always sucks, but I guess that depends on the person anyways. Some actually revel in being the odd one out... (👀 looking at you, Suguru, and your biological family of non-sorcerers).

And and and... the way Satoru and Yura both notice that there's something different about the way they look at each other throughout this chapter and just can't find the name for it actually kills me (in the best way). 🥹😭

Also her stuff in his closet? HADJSGKG Might as well live together at this point. 😭

These two have been falling deeper and deeper in love as this story progresses and they're hopelessly oblivious, and I know they're getting it together (in baby steps). 💘 It sends an arrow straight through my heart every time. The payoff when they realize it and acknowledge it themselves is going to be sooooo....

...She’d missed this. She’d missed him. Yura didn’t think twice before turning around in his arms, her whole body then sagging into him as pure relief washed over her .....she did push herself closer... and finally, she actually felt at home.

Home is where they're all together as a family... 🏡

Also, home = Satoru... Yura, you're so in love with him, how can you willfully brush it under the rug every time?

he held her close—unwilling to let go. (He’d stayed up a while after she had gone to sleep, just enjoying the way she felt back in his arms, before his own exhaustion took over and he too passed out.) --- Satoru turned his head, his gaze meeting hers. He hated seeing her eyes filled with worry again, and this time it was worry over him. He wanted to make it go away, he wanted to see her eyes lighting up with joy instead of this; he wished one of his abilities were snapping his fingers and making everything right again, but there was only so much that even the strongest could accomplish. So he only turned his body to her, pressing his face against her shoulder. Yura seemed surprised for a moment, but one of her hands eventually slid up his neck, slipping into his hair. Don’t worry about me, he wanted to say. His hands came up to her waist, lightly gripping at her shirt. Don’t worry about me or I’ll worry about you. —he’d lost Suguru, but he hadn’t lost her

"I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends~" 🎶🎧

There's something so sweet and tender and wonderful about being emotionally vulnerable and intimate with someone on this level in spite of the shit storm surrounding you.

Someone play this song on repeat for them until they realize it all, please. I'm begging~ 😭🙏 YOU'RE IN LOVE... They're so in love. 😩😭

One night he wakes Strange look on his face Pauses, then says You're my best friend And you knew what it was He is in love

Satoruuuuu, the signs~ the signs, I'm telling youuuu~ 😭😩

Your fic's an emotional rollercoaster, and I don't ever want to leave. 😁 I can't thank you enough for writing it and sharing it... always~

This message was an emotional rollercoaster, and I appreciated every bit of it ༼ಢ_ಢ༽

Satoru and Yura are so in love that their subconscious have already 100% accepted it, even if they won't actually put it into words. Like they've already accepted that they're a little family, and Yura's brain has already cemented that THESE ARE MY KIDS ILL KILL WHOEVER TRIES TO HURT THEM

(that's also me looking @ canon)

And yes, Yura has a whole section of her stuff in Satoru's closet now, just like Satoru has a drawer full of his stuff at her place too ehehe. Actually, they've got a bunch of each other's stuff scattered around their apartments, they're like halfway living together now--clothes, shoes, toothbrushes, other bathroom products... I mean, if someone were to just walk into Yura's place it would be painfully obvious that she has a boyfriend lol (Satoru's place is big so you'd have to go to his bedroom, but then yep, there's a woman living there too)

Tsumiki is one of them now! I wasn't actually planning for it initially lol but then it just made sense. Now I'm having to plan for more of her presence in later events, but that should be fun hehe. I'll just say that I'm planning stuff, but anything else would spoilers (◡‿◡✿)

But yeah, she was the odd one out in their little family (and any fics that actually bother to include her lmao). I think she might not have felt it so strongly growing up since Megumi wasn't a full-blow sorcerer at that point, but I think she'd eventually feel a little left out whenever she couldn't be included in jujutsu business. But not anymore tho!! ಠ⌣ಠ

Anyway, things are going to get a little bit better for them now (before it gets worse oop), so get ready for some fluffy but emotional moments in the next couple of chapters or so! And as always, thank you so much for reading and commenting like this <333 It truly is what keeps me writing, being able to share it with you guys <333 Thank you so much!

(...also there's a new School Stories oneshot incoming, beware ಠ‿ಠ)

EDIT: also lemme jam to that song while writing the next fluffy moment between them ᕕ(⌐■_■)ᕗ ♪♬

[flycasual]

Thy Dark Brotherhood OCs ..... prithee milord .... I should like to hear of them

Ohoho boy would I LOVE to talk about them!

The main one is, of course, Phora. Who is not in fact a member of the Dark Brotherhood any longer. Because she betrayed them. For the guy who adopted her, Forvyth (my partner's character), and brought her into it in the first place. They're both very traumatized and have SUCH a sad, messed up, turmoil filled father-daughter relationship, but they'd go to the ends of the world for each other.

Then I have a little group for a Sanctuary my partner and I made for Forvyth to fuck up, so my half includes: Fondael - Jaqspur dropout who realized one day that, actually, he just really liked killing people? It was fun and he was good at it, and he had the skills to go toe-to-toe with any actual jaqspur, and he'd rather join a murder cult about it and be around like-minded individuals. Frequently got called "fondle" by his dear family. ("You can fondle me any time!") Not that he was any better. He mostly teased Hyacil, honestly they all mostly tease Hyacil. He'd take his stuff and claim the Rite of Theft just to fuck with him and ultimately give it back. Overall a smug, self-assured bastard that got a sick kick out of murder. None of that saved him, he's the first (and only so far) to die.

Hyacil - my sweet baby boy poor little meow meow Agoraphobic Alchemist Altmer Assassin. One of many children belonging to a well-off family who showed an inclination for alchemy from a pretty young age. The fact that he accidentally poisoned a servant with an experiment was brushed under the rug, but his refusal to enter into the marriage his family had arranged for him? Disowned. Disinherited. He found himself alone and homeless in a world that he was terrified to be alone and outside in. So when the Brotherhood came knocking, he went along. He rarely leaves the Sanctuary, mostly he just provides poisons and potions to the others. He likes bugs.

Aesif - Youngest in the Sanctuary. They were infected with Lycanthropy at a young age and abandoned by their family out of fear as a result. They barely survived multiple times over, but adapted and fought to live. Eventually they were found, taken in, and trained by Mallory Moor, who soon after was given her own Sanctuary. Aesif is young and full of energy and is really just Happy To Be Here. It's nice to have a home, and a family, and a purpose. They like to have fun and don't have like, the best social skills in the world, because Mallory never really bothered to teach them.

Mallory Moor - Little is known about her and little needs to be known. She was a knight, once, but those days are long behind her. She's quiet, severe, and takes her job and her commitment to Sithis and the Night Mother seriously. She hasn’t gone on a contract on her own in years, all of her time is spent managing the Velyn Sanctuary. She raised Aesif in the loosest possible meaning of the word. She brought them into the Brotherhood when she found them because she found an effective killer, and thought it would have been a waste to leave them living like a wild animal when they would be of more use tamed and as an assassin. 

Ciiri - Oh Ciiri. Sithis' favorite little princess. When she's not on a contract she's working in a brothel nearby in the harbor. She doesn't need to, but then you could say she doesn't need to be an assassin. She's good enough at either one to support herself, but she's a little obsessed with both. A little convinced she's the best at both. Queen of sex and murder. She believes they go together, and the only thing that keeps her clients at the brothel alive is that they're clients at the brothel and she likes that job. Most in the Sanctuary just see her as a sex pest who is dogmatically obsessed with her religion, but they just don't quite realize how dedicated or dangerous she actually is. She's a powerful blood mage, and only two people in the Sanctuary know that. Even without it she's a well trained and determined assassin who is frequently given the highest value contracts without any of the others ever knowing about it. She'd kill them all for Sithis in the blink of an eye and wouldn't think twice about it. She sticks to the Green Pact in the laziest, loosest way because she barely cares. Why should she? What is Y'ffre compared to Sithis and the Night Mother?

We also have Drusilla & Regulus Tharn, who are almost never around. Distant, minor, absolute who Tharns - married when they were younger and joined the Brotherhood around the same time; after they murdered Drusilla’s entire family together over their disapproval of her desire to marry a Tharn. Asshole older rich couple who show up at the Sanctuary when they can be bothered and treat it like a hobby. Drusilla sometimes keeps trophies. 

[thesherrinfordfacility]

re: your hard truth meta, you're absolutely iconic for that. i feel like a lot of the season seemed to foreshadow that they're on two entirely different planes as far as what it means to care for someone, especially when a LOT of the flashback scenes we were shown seemed to included him constantly rejecting aziraphale's attempts at authentic communication: in the 1800s one, he straight up yells at aziraphale to be the one to say something that would keep that girl from ending her life, when aziraphale was already trying to do that on his own (never mind that aziraphale already miracled the vial empty & could have done the same with the glass). post-job, he laughs at aziraphale's assumption that he'll be cast out for lying when aziraphale is Visibly distraught about it. and then with maggie and nina, as they said in the final episode, az & crowley were doing what they'd always done with each other: throwing darts at the wall until something seems to stick. so then when crowley's finally put in a position to open an honest dialogue about their relationship and where he wants it to go, and is visibly anxious about it, aziraphale brushes it aside in favor of sharing his Good News, because that's what he's learned their relationship to vulnerability is. imo, crowley has had the time he needs to understand that heavenly/hellish interference isn't even necessary ("every time i think of something strategically cruel, they do it themselves and Worse"), and he expects aziraphale to reach the same level after like. One year of silence from heaven, because he figures that if he could do it on his own with no support system or anybody in his corner, so should aziraphale. meanwhile, aziraphale spent his ENTIRE existence with one purpose, being repeatedly manipulated into quashing his doubts and not raising questions, and then when he finally did the Right Thing for himself (stopping the apocalypse), heaven stopped talking to him entirely. of COURSE he would want to go back. he was cut off and lonely and couldn't go to crowley about it because he knew from experience that he would be brushed off. and of COURSE crowley wouldn't understand that, and like with maggie and nina was just trying to make Something happen However he could, regardless of how ethical it was, and would lash out in the most anti-heaven way he could think of: a temptation. like, my guy had a WEALTH of logical arguments about why heaven wasn't the place where real change could happen based on their lives together and the fact that aziraphale was about to be ERASED FROM EXISTENCE AND THE MEMORY OF EXISTENCE BY THE ARCHANGELS before the metatron showed up, but all he was thinking about was his trauma and he reacted to the shadow of a rejection that was centuries old. in trying to express their love for each other they just ended up treating each other like An Angel and A Demon again and it fuuucking kills me.

god i hope this makes sense, i am very tired. tl;dr i loved that meta

@rollforjackass, bestie, fucking *CHEF'S KISS* ✨💓 yes this is perfect part 2 to my meta and im so grateful you paid attention to the other parts where they fail each other time and time again and just sweep it under the rug... yes you get me!!!✨

aziraphale is as culpable as crowley, but i genuinely think he's trying... crowley feels like he's so wrapped up in his own pain and hurt (again, valid) that he can't see wood for the trees, and certainly not aziraphale's perspective 💀

[kalsiferdraws]

The Deadlights: Let me care for you

Eddie couldn't blame Richie for punching Bill. He knew they had their fights time to time, and for the most part, they were over idiotic things. He always chucked it up to a dominance thing when they were younger. Richie challenging Bill's leadership. But this wasn't one of those times.

He would be lying of he said it didn't confuse him. He knew it was because Bill brought Audrie. But he had brought her to a few outings, and everytime Richie seemed to just ignore it. No matter how much Eddie couldn't.

Eddie didn't like her, not just because she was clingy. Obnoxiously clingy, not just with Bill. He learned that when Bill had invited her out to the Quarry with them. She would lean against Richie and Mike, a lot. It made Eddie's stomach turn and tightened everytime he saw her chest lean against Richie's arm. While, yes Richie and Mike would push her off, she kept doing it. And then when they were getting ready for the jump, he felt her hand on his back, hurrying him into the water below. He thought Beverly was gonna strangle her for it, but thankfully he and Stan calmed her down.

But clingy isn't the only reason why Eddie didn't like her. She was mean, spitting passive aggressive comments like a spitting cobra. She mainly did it to Stan and Ben for some reason. Stan could always hold his own, snapping back at her without hesitation. But Ben was just trying to brush it under the rug. He was nice like that, just wanting everyone to be friendly and together. She tried once with Eddie, but the good thing about a short temper is it makes people you don't like keep a distance.

Eddie couldn't help but wonder what she caused Richie and Bill to fight. If it even was a fight. They used to jump each other, leaving nothing but bruises and maybe some blood here and there. He wasn't sure if it's cause Ben and Mike grabbed Richie so quickly, or if Bill just didn't want to fight back. One punch was short for them, it was a little odd. When Eddie touched Richies face and looked into his eyes, he could see the anger inside them. He could also see when the anger melted off, and his pupils grow. They always seemed bigger when Eddie looked into them.

While the others left the stage, heading to Ben's truck no doubt for their "after concert diner run" Eddie couldn't help but constantly look behind him. He would walk a few steps, look behind him, walk a few more. He was getting irritated, he didn't even know why. So when he heard footsteps behind him he was ready to snap, opening his mouth before seeing Richie. Alone. He looked behind him, expecting to see Stan and Bill, but when he didn't he looked up at Richie confused.

"They're talking," Richie said. His tone was cold, lacking any kind of emotion. Which was... odd for Richie. Eddie put his hand on Richie's chest, stopping him from walking further. Richie's eyes looked into Eddie's again, showing the pupils grow again. They stared for a moment before Richie forced a smile and grabbed Eddie's hand into his own. "I'm fine, Eds." Eddie looked at his hand. He was obviously not fine.

"Don't call me Eds," he muttered pulling Richies hand to him and glaring at it. "Your knuckles are bruising... again." He looked up at Richie, his nose crinkled as he glared. "You gotta ice it dude."

"Not much ice around here," Richie said, moving his gaze to Eddie's hands holding his own. "I can get the diner to give me extra ice."

"Absolutely not," Eddie declared. "Do you know how filthy their ice is? The bacteria that's inside it?" He rolled his eyes huffing. It made Richie chuckle, finally showing his real smile. "I'm being serious."

"I know you are," Richie said between chuckles. "You got a different solution doc?" Eddie looked around. He knew he had to ice Richies knuckles fast so the bruise wouldn't be too big. It would be hard to explain a bruised hand away during a concert or interview. He spotted one of the staff walking, clearing his throat. Richie looked over at the worker, raising an eyebrow.

"Excuse me!" Eddie called out. The man perked up looking at them. He trotted over quickly, looking at Richie with an awestruck gaze and red cheeks. Eddie felt his eyebrow twitch. "We need an ice pack. Do you have an emergency kit or something around here?" Richie could hear his annoyance, making him fight another chuckle. The staff member stumbled his words a bit before nodding and trotting off. Eddie rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh. "Honestly, you're a normal person."

"I'm a rock star," Richie grinned. "I make many tremble just with these fingers - ow!" He flinched as Eddie squeezed his hand slightly. "OK, ok I get it," Richie laughed. Eddie eased his grip, looking back at Richie's hand. "Its not that bad Eds. I can really just ice it at the di-"

"No," Eddie said firmly. It made Richie's mouth shut. "I'm going to make sure it's properly handled." Eddie swore he heard Richie take a sharp breath in, he loosened his grip more on Richie's hand making sure not to hurt him again.

"Youre gonna nurse it back to full health huh?" Richie's tone was soft now, even with his teasing.

"Are you going to let me?" Eddie smiled, teasing back. He looked up at Richie, seeing a sight he didn't expect. Richie's eyes were a deep black only a small sliver of his brown left, his eyes half lidded. His cheeks and the bridge of his nose were a deep red. It made Eddie's heart pounding against his ribs. Richie must've realized he looked different from normal cause he laughed, looking away from Eddie.

"Of course Dr. Kaspbrak." Eddie groaned at the nickname, noticing the staff member come back. He handed Eddie a small ice pack and a wrapping bandage. Eddie didnt think both would be needed but it is always good to have something incase. He thanked the man for his time, before pulling Richie's arm to a set of boxes. He sat Richie down on one, holding his hand.

After a moment of silence, due to Eddie hyperfocusing on Richie's knuckles, he cleared his throat. "Why did you hit him?" He asked softly. Richie shrugged. "Rich... you have never randomly hit him before. What happened?" Richie looked at him and hummed.

"He was being insensitive," Richie said bluntly. Eddie raised an eyebrow, holding the ice back to a new knuckle. "He just... he hurt Stan, a lot."

"So you punched him?" Eddie asked, genuinely confused. Richie nodded. "You know Stan can handle his own, why are you fighting Bill for him?"

Richie was silent for a moment, before he looked at Eddie. "Have you... ever liked someone?" Eddie's eyes widened a bit, caught off guard. His eyes scanned around, before he blushed slightly and nodded. He saw Richie bit his lip a bit before he spoke again. "If you were making it obvious to the person, and even with how obvious it was, they openly dated someone else. Invited them out with you and your friends. How would you feel?"

Eddie thought for a moment before he answered. "I mean.. I do make it obvious but..." his voice was quiet when he answered, a bit nervous. "I suppose I'd be, upset?" Richie just stared at him, waiting for everything to click. But Eddie just stared blankly back. Richie groaned.

"Didn't you notice the song set tonight?" He asked. Eddie thought a moment. They were mostly covers if he remembered right, mostly about confessions or crushes or-

"Oh my god!" Eddie put his hands on Richie's shoulders. "Stan likes Bill?!" Richie covered his mouth with his hand, shushing him. It made Eddie blush a bit, looking Richie up and down. He realized that saying something like that outloud could really hit their band hard. He swallowed as Richie uncovered his mouth. "Since when?"

"Uh, since always?" Richie tilted his head. "You didn't notice?" Eddie shrugged, making Richie drop his head. "God you're dense as fuck."

"I am not, it wasn't obvious!" Eddie said, looking back at Richie's hand. He was debating in his head if it should be wrapped up, at least for the night. He unraveled the bandage, shrugging that it would at least keep it tight.

"It was so obvious even Mike caught on," Richie laughed. He looked at Eddie, admiring how focused he was. "Now I have to know your definition of 'obvious'." He was mainly teasing, Eddie knew that. But still, it made him nervous.

"Yknow, being around him, sneaking off to hang out with him," Richie bit his lip again. "Caring for him, even if he's an idiot." Richie opened his mouth, letting out a gasp. Eddie looked at him, a smile creeping on his face, but he fought to keep it down.

"Wait, Eds.. do you-" Richie was cut off by the sound of heels clicking towards them. Eddie groaned, Richie glaring in the direction of the noise.

Of course.

[alarrytale]

Hi, I know this is random but with the live album dropping even tho I know maybe you don't keep up with their music as much or so I remembered but I was kinda looking forward to your posts cause as someone who has taken a step back but wasn't able to completely detach myself from the fandom cause I like the vibe and the fanfiction /art plus my beliefs didn't change it was just hard and is hard to see others in the fandom often almost overhype him, not to say he is bad but it's like he breathes and it's magical and I understand I've been there but now I can appreciate good work he does but I don't have to lie to myself if a performance is not great or feel guilty for thinking that. It was to the point of not knowing if my fave is actually great like look perfect, sounds perfect all the time or I'm just automatically saying that cause I and some of the fandom in a way programed ourselves into that not just us but other fandoms and their dynamic. I guess what I wanted to say is I love how you're one of the few on here where we and you can discuss things without fear but also be respectful and I appreciate that.

Hi, anon 💚

You're so welcome! I've hardly had a minute to myself this week so i haven't had the time to listen to the album yet! I very much intend to do it. I haven't been to a show and i usually prefer studio versions of songs, so i wonder how i'll feel about it.

And yes, we are allowed to not like everything about our favourite celebrity or artist, and express said dislike. It doesn’t mean we love them any less. We just disagree with some of the choices they make, some of their behaviour and sometimes we just don't like the t-shirt they are wearing because we have different taste. We are allowed to. That doesn’t mean we are right, that doesn’t mean it's the majority opinion, it just means that we, with our own reasons, are not liking this particular thing. No more, no less.

If the celebrity does something that is outside of what we deem acceptable, respectful and wanted, we are allowed to (and should) call them out on it. Celebrities aren’t perfect, but they need to be held accountable for their actions and understand that what they're doing is wrong. It will not be tolerated, brushed under the rug, and it may damage their career. Harry not wearing a face mask during the hight of covid and by that showing lack of solidarity, and Louis cancelling the Asia leg of his tour without showing proper remorse and respect for the fans who lost money and the ability to get to see him are examples of things that are not okay.

I think it's an important skill to learn and develop to be able to critizise without being hateful, and to dare to critizise when it's needed and to give praise and accolades when it's due. It's hard to be in a fandom with people who see everything through rose coloured glasses and blindly idolise their favourite. Especially in this fandom, with all it's history, lore and the incredible complicated and possibly unprecedented situation we're in, the gaslighting, closeting and lies.

[oncetherenowhere]

They're mourning doves. We have lovely new mourning dove neighbors. One of them stays perched over our screen door, she doesn't flutter away when I come and go; she cocks her head and stares at me every time. I speak softly to her whenever I see her. Good morning. I'll be on my way.

Work is fine. My two immediate coworkers are still lovely. The other coworker is still frustrating.

It's really making me dread going to work, especially when my coworker M isn't there; he doesn't say anything to me in front of her, only on the days when she isn't working. That leads me to further believe that he's intentionally messing with me. She believes me, of course- she even told me that he'd done this to another employee a few years ago, and they quit out of frustration. She's actually pretty mad about it. It's kind of nice to have someone angry on my behalf. This is the first workplace where someone has been mean to me, and it isn't being brushed under the rug, so that's good at least. I asked her not to say anything yet, because I'm hoping I can try to resolve it myself.

My plan? The next time he snarks at me, or makes a rude comment, or micromanages, I'm just going to...say something. I've been practicing different things I can say. None of them are rude in turn, just firm and polite. If saying something doesn't work...or if I freeze again and just take it...I'll have to bring it to the owners.

The problem is, I think he's been particularly mean to be because I told the owners once before. He didn't get in trouble or anything like that; if anything, the owners seemed surprised, like they thought I had misinterpreted his behavior. They both told me they thought he was very nice and sweet. I agreed that he had the capacity to be so; part of why his actions had been disorienting was that we had been on good terms for months! We would chat, we were chill, then one day, his demeanor changed. I looked back into our last normal conversations to make sure I didn't say anything off, but to my knowledge, it feels like it happened for no reason.

I guess their comments do sound like it was being brushed under the rug after all, but M is fierce, and said she won't like it slide again. It...feels nice to have someone in my corner. She makes me feel protected, which is something I've very rarely felt.

I'm just afraid that if I try to resolve the situation, and it gets worse...I have issues with this job, but it's also very flexible, and I'm good at the work. I don't think I could find another job in the industry like this. The nature is laid back- or was, I guess- and I just don't think I can adjust to a new job in a new place with its own problems...not again, at least.

My ideal situation would be not having to work for a living in the first place. I'm tired all the time. I have so much I want to do that I just can't. All my hobbies during the week are self-care focused so I don't burn out. It leaves very little time to write or draw. I run, I stretch, because I know the exercise helps me regulate, but then the exercise takes me out, too. I feel like I spent every weekend doing very little to compensate.

I feel like that art piece...that machine that's constantly trying to sweep up its own oil spill. There's just always Something. I'm floundering to hold myself together, it takes constant effort. Regulating myself feels like a second full time job.

I've been having bad dreams about a different place I worked, where something similar to this happened. It started with comments and rude remarks. Then it turned into physical threats and genuine bullying. My boss at that time didn't believe me. It turned so hostile I had to quit. I just don't want that to happen again.

It's going to sound so self-pitying, but I don't know what it is about me that causes this to happen. I never tell people I'm autistic anymore because it leads to bad things, but it seems like people are just able to tell. I've gotten singled out to be bullied at every place I've ever worked, every year in school...

I think it's my looks, too. I look a bit strange. I have huge eyes, and a very small mouth, round cheeks- my nose was broken as a kid, so it's got a permanent tilt. I look awkward. I've always been told so. If I was attractive, I think I could get away with my oddities. The fact that I'm awkward and weird looking? Nuh-uh.

Anyways, I've got to get ready for work. So...we'll see how that goes. I really don't want to go today. Augh!