#it sucks to see him getting demolished though :

[jaepuppy]

not them thinking people don't see they're doing this to get people to ask stuff like "is this what you came back for cody?" lol. And I know they're not buying time for roman to hit 1000 days by way of brock lesnar. Now WWE........Well, here's that "adversity" some people wanted cody to experience.

[shadebloopnik]

Ik we all love the hc that Lucifer would be the one thats blushing and flustered in the relationship while Alastor's the calm one, but what if it isn't?

What if Lucifer is actually so much better at hiding his emotions and retaining a poker face? What if Alastor isn't as adept at keeping his emotions hidden as he thought?

Ok, clearly he isn't going to be a weird blushy mess, but like, at least to the hotel's perspective, to people who know him well enough, imagine he's like, super fucking obvious.

Plus points if he's oblivious as hell about it at first.

Like to the hotel residents they see Alastor absolutely go off the rocker when first meeting Lucifer, which, is a huuuuge step from his usual indifference. Then they think, oh man he hates the King so much. But then they also notice more things as the days go on.

How Alastor's ears perk up whenever the King enters the room. How his eyes would find their way to Luci almost unconsciously. The STARING. How he'd slowly be more touchy around the King. How Lucifer's meals always had a little something extra when it was Alastor's turn to cook. How his eyes would crinkle with genuine fondness when the King laughed. How the back of his coat would move as though a tail-they-def-don't-know-the-existence-of is wagging whenever the King would smile in Al's direction.

And the cherry on top, Alastor's face turning as red as his hair when he was asked about it.(bigger evidence: how the parlor had to be rebuilt after being demolished by him, but yknow we wont focus on that)

Once they get over the shock of Alastor having a massive fucking crush on the King of Hell, they then realize that, oh wow actually Alastor fucking sucks at this, he's hopeless.

So they all decide to wingman him, some more eager than others (Vaggie will forever bemoan the idea of having Alastor as a future step-father in law, overshadowed by Charlie's "OH MY GOSH TWO DADS")

They all have their different ways of "helping" and though Alastor absolutely loathes it, he has to accept the fact that he has no idea what he's doing and to 'shut the fuck up and let the experts handle this.'

The results range from mild success(Husk setting them up for a private drink at the bar), to awkward failures (Charlie making them wear a single get-together shirt) to humiliating uncertainty(Lucifer immediately excusing himself after seeing Alastor wear a backless suit that Angel suggested)

Idk where im going with this or if there's a fic like this, but I'd soooo love to read it. Just, an entire silly fic of wingman shenanigans please and thank you

[fuzzybirdie]

Hero of Changing Faces

Warning, 'tis a bit sweary. Enjoy!

Ch.2 The MOTHERFUCKER Of All Time

The GODDAMN Joker was attacking the GODDAMN ammusement park in the middle of the GODDAMN school holidays! So Duke was a teensy bit pissed.

Today was supposed to be fun! Everyone, including Tim and Alfred, had made sure to clean up their scheduals enough for a family outing, and they managed to pull steph along as well!

Everything was going well so far too! Sure, Damian couldn't stop scoffing at this couple yelling 'Ghost!' All the time, and Tim and Jason were trying to one-up eachother at all the carnival games, (before being absoloutley demolished by cass), but it was fun! They Were having fun.

And then the motherfucker of all time hijacked the roller coaster.

Alfred had managed to sneak everyone's costumes into their day packs, probably foreseeing something going wrong. Either way, this meant that everyone could sneak away and change to fight the Joker.

After getting changed, Signal charged towards the announcer's booth, running into Nightwing on the way. Nightwing who looked pale and terrified. "B went ahead to the roller coaster!" Nightwing called. Ah, Signal's question must've been obvious.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Signal called back,

"Not as a civillian! He went in before it got hijacked!"

"Fuck!"

"Red, Orphan, and I are en route to the rollercoaster" Red Hood interupted "Robin's on his way to the announcer booth, and Spoiler is on evac duty,"

"Roger," Nightwing grappeled past a group escaping one of the rides, "Signal and I will randevous with robin. B is among the civillians on the roller coaster."

"Understood. We'll be in touch once the civvies are safe. Over and Out."

The announcer booth was surrounded by goons, who were taken care of easily enough. (Thank you, pepper spray bottles of sleeping gas!) Leaving the door wide open. Nightwing and Signal crept in, the only hint of their (re: Signal's) presence was the lights dimming and the shadows growing.

The Joker had set himself in the middle of the moniter room. He'd somehow found the time to inflate an air matress and was now lying down, eating popcorn, and kicking his legs like a schoolchild.

"Oh boo!" The Joker cried as the rollercoaster judded to a stop "they didn't even get halfway up! This show sucks!"

Robin took this moment to reveal himself both to his brothers and the Joker by attempting to skewer the latter through the arm. "Oh hi, little Robin!" Joker cackled as Robin missed "Come to watch the show? Though," he looked at where Robin's sword had punctured his matress "That was really rude. Guess I can kill you now!"

As Joker pulled out a gun to shoot at Robin, Signal manipulated the light of the moniters to blind him. Nightwing's escrima crackled into his exposed back, and he was down.

Something clattered out of the Joker's hands along with the gun. Signal had a closer look at it while Nightwing cuffed Joker and Robin shut down all the rides.

"Joker had a deadman trigger!" He practically shrieked into the comms "Get everyone out of there now!" Looking closer at the moniters, it was easy to see the bombs at the bottom of every other support. Thankfully, with Robin having turned off the rides, the safety bar had let go, and the other bats had gotten all the civillians off the ride. Unfortunately, they were still in the blast zone.

Red Robin turned to say something to the civillians. Then this white haired kid practically threw Red Hood into Orphan, who was checking someone for injuries. With everyone behind him, the kid threw out his hands, as a sheet of ice grew from them. The ice seemed to thin to stop anything, but it covered everyone quickly. Once a dome had formed the ice began to thicken.

Then the bombs detonated.

~~~~~~

first / prev / next

It was under the word limit!

So, how many of you got the cameo last chapter? :)

As always, this was inspired by @freedomanddisorder's art and the following prompt chain. Please check out both, they are So cool,

[z3nitsusgf]

omg help me your Roman Roy fic was amazing,,, you truly have a gift .

we need more Roman pussy eating fics! just thinking about his hands moving up your skirt, you sitting up on his big important boss man desk, his face buried between your legs, stubble grazing your inner thigh, you grab his hair and your back arches, head thrown back, your gasps and moans are echoed by his own as he gets off from eating you out.

You resist the urge to make a sound. Even though he’s lapping at your cunt like a fucking dog, you restrain yourself. You gnaw on your lip, feeling the busted capillaries at the surface release that familiar iron taste. You’re wet, embarrassingly so. You can hear the slick sloppy sounds of Roman sucking at your clit. You’re breathing heavy, panting and clawing at his desk as if that’ll help.

Anyone could walk past and see you getting tongue-fucked by their bosses son. Not that they’d say anything, but you’d be absolutely mortified.

“Roman- please, you can’t,” you squirm when he nips your folds, “not here.”

He groans, you sound so whiny. So breathy and on the verge of crying. He grips at your hips, your pencil skirt slid up and pooled around your waist. Panties tugged down (semi-ripped) across your ankles.

“Shut up.” He mumbles into you, the stubble across his jaw prickling your inner thighs. You jump at the feeling, squeezing around his head. You whine, trying not to kick up your legs and crush him.

“Just let me fucking drown myself in your pussy.”

He’s pawing at your hips, slipping them from outside to in. Running clean hands across your jumpy thighs and over your slick folds. He smashes his thumb against your sticky clit, rubbing sloppy harsh circles against the soft bud. Your hips stutter, he chases your bucking hips to rub at your clit.

“Sensitive?”

He asks with a grin, he knows you are. He loves it. You whine, feeling the wet stickiness between your thighs drip.

“Roman-“

There’s most definitely a puddle of cum and slick underneath your ass. But Roman doesn’t give a shit, he’ll probably get some underpaid janitor to clean it up. It’s not like they haven’t done it before. Vaguely, you wonder what would happen if someone important saw. Like his brother, or his dad. Or even Gerri.

“Fuck, you’re fucking dripping.” He mumbles, hair messy and swept back. Strands of brown draping across his wide eyes and tickling your thighs.

You let out a yelp when he buries his face back between your legs, licking from the bottom of your cunt to the very top. It’s like he’s making out with it, dipping his tongue in and moaning at the way he can feel you clench around the soft pink muscle. He’s almost tempted to just say fuck it and fuck you over the desk. Who cares?

You feel like you’re gonna pass out. You’re panting, chest heaving and you scratch at his expensive glossy desk, nails trying to find purchase without tugging at your bosses hair. Your moans have his cock leaking against his slacks, staining the light grey dark. He tries not to hump the air, but it gets harder with each passing second. He might cream his pants if he’s not careful.

“Gonna soak my face, hm? Gonna get nice and fucking wet for me?”

You wish you could say you hate the way he speaks to you, but you’d be lying. It makes you whimper and drip and clench around nothing. Nodding your head and shuffling your hips to try and get a better angle. Roman grins like a fucking demon, staring up at you while he demolishes your pussy. Sucking at your sensitive clit and pressing his thumbs into your thighs to hold you open. It’s debauched, messy and wet. The definition of slutty.

It’s like the middle of a shitty porno, a boss eating out his favorite assistants cunt on his desk. Uncaring of the consequences because he’s never had to face them before.

Because who’s gonna tell the Roman Roy shit?

[magicalbats]

Oh, Captain (Luffy x reader)

Rating: R-18+

Word Count: 5222

Warnings: Afab!reader, gendered language, noncon, physical coercion, outdoor sex, inappropriate use of 5th Gear

A/N: My second ever commission and the lovely donor was kind enough to give me permission to post it for everyone else to read. Thank you for a great experience, @avidbroswer!! 🩷🩷🩷

⭐

Let’s help Luffy, they’d said.  

We’re a crew, they’d said. Family. 

You don’t feel very much like family when you’re running for your life from the very captain you’d sworn loyalty to. Or at least, you’re pretty sure that the strange figure with white nimbus cloud hair is your captain. You’d watched it happen from a (questionably) safe distance, when he suddenly transformed in a surge of sparking static electricity that made your skin crawl like it was trying to escape from your bones but it’s still hard to believe that it was really him. Even having seen the reality of it with your own two eyes doesn’t make it any easier to accept. 

Luffy was supposed to be a dark haired, dark eyed youth in the prime of his life. Not this uncanny version of him that giddily laughs with boisterous amusement while he ping pongs about so violently within the craggy mess of scorched earth in the wake of his battle with Kaido that you can feel the massive chunks of rock slamming into the ground as much as you can hear it. One after another, from the left and then the right, they just keep falling in an almost continuous rain of rubble and ruin. The resulting shockwaves very nearly take you off your feet more than once but you force yourself to keep running even when your sore legs scream in protest, aching from the exertion. It was the only choice you really had at this point. 

And it’s not lost on you that this is technically your own fault for getting so close to the fight but you’d wanted to help. All that talk of family and crew, and unwavering allegiance to the Straw Hats had clearly infected your brain because you’d rushed straight into the danger zone despite knowing good and well that you were the only one close enough to make it in time. Now you were the one who needed help and it wasn’t going to arrive soon enough to do you any good. 

What an idyllic fool you’d been. 

“Ah!” You suddenly get tripped up in all the rocky debris laying across the ground and fall to your knees with a seething hiss. Your palms come back scraped where they’d shot out to catch you but you’ve managed to avoid taking the brunt of it to the face. Thank the stars for life’s smallest miracles. 

Panting heavily, you just sit there amongst the broken wreckage and detritus for a harrowingly long beat, trying to catch your breath. You can still hear the chaotic destruction of Luffy — or the man who had once been Luffy — bouncing around like a rubber ball behind you, completely unimpeded by the laws of gravity or common sense. It sounded like he was having a blast. 

Maybe that was good. Maybe he hadn’t even noticed you yet, so lost within the mess of demolished land and too tiny a speck to even draw his attention. You had a chance to escape then, if that was the case. 

Any such hopes quickly fizzle out when his uproarious hooting and hollering abruptly rushes towards you, getting louder and louder until your eardrums start to vibrate. You suck in a sharp, nauseated gasp and slap your hands over your ears as you twist around to look behind you. Just in time to watch Luffy sail overhead like a shooting white comet. The kickback from his high velocity speed hits you seconds later, tearing a shriek from your mouth when the wind hits you full force and as solid as any wall. 

Too busy ducking down with your head between your knees to protect yourself from the sting of flying rocks, you don’t get to see how he manages to pivot his momentum mid air and land a couple hundred yards away. You hear it though. You feel the shock of impact too, when it races through the ground to make the rubble underneath you tremble. It goes quiet then, and unnaturally still. Suddenly all you can hear are your own labored gasps. 

You hesitate to do it but, realizing you have no other option, you slowly lift your face to peer out over all the fallen debris. Standing at a distance, Luffy just looks at you with a fiercely manic edge in his now golden-yellow eyes that makes your veins ice up. You’re more certain than ever that this cannot be your captain. He should have been giving you the usual bright faced, happy go lucky grin he always did when he inexplicably came out on top against all the odds that were stacked against him. Not this — viscous leer of victory. 

But if this wasn’t Luffy then who in the seven seas was it? 

“Have you come to celebrate with me?” 

His voice isn’t quite the same either. More raspy, like the weight of immense power flowing through him was putting strain even on his vocal cords. You don’t think you like that any more than you like the way he’s eyeing you up as if you were a stuffed pig on a roasting spit. Even for his bottomless pit of an appetite, you’d never seen him look at another person quite like that. 

Cautiously slow, you straighten up out of your defensive huddle. Work to get your feet under you without taking your attention off him for even a moment and then stand so you can prepare to … what, run again? A lot of good that had clearly done you. 

“I don’t think it’s time to celebrate just yet.” You tell him softly. “We need to find the other Straw Hats. Make sure they’re all okay. You still remember them … don’t you, Luffy?” 

Your emotional plea only succeeds in giving him a momentary pause. “But I have so much energy left. I just want to dance and shout, and jump into the air! You’ll join me, won’t you?” 

He takes a step towards you, a rather aggressive one at that, and you quickly back up. Something told you if you didn’t agree to go along with this he was going to try and force you into joining in on whatever constituted his idea of merrymaking. Unfortunately you weren’t sure if you’d survive that, given the state of all the crumbled boulders littering the ground on this now desolate stretch of land. 

“No, Luffy. Not right now. We have to - -“ 

With an abrupt jerk, he lurches forward as if to launch himself at you. His rubbery legs momentarily struggle for traction on the ground, as if they couldn’t quite decide what consistency they wanted to be, but you don’t plan on sticking around long enough to find out. Feeling like you’ve forgotten how to breathe, you spin around and make a mad dash for it, barreling straight into a dead sprint. 

It’s a resounding effort in futility. 

You don’t even make it three whole steps before he slams into your back hard enough to take you right off your feet. 

There’s a split second moment of shock at how fast he’d managed to close the distance, and then the ground is rushing up at your face again. 

That dizzying blur of vertigo inducing free fall coupled with the way your vision tilts on its axis very nearly has you spewing your guts right then and there. But if Luffy picks up on the dire, sickened tinge coloring your wounded grunt he certainly doesn’t act it. He just flings his arms around your middle, alarming in their fleshy elasticity and yet still familiar to you, then hauls you up against his front before you can slam into the rocks. 

Everything happens much too fast for you to keep up with any of it. Your brain is reeling, still trying to recover from the impact of his body colliding with yours and the subsequent head rush that followed. So stunned you can’t even find the wherewithal to protest his treatment of you let alone try to fight your way free. Unable to do anything else, you simply allow your limbs to bonelessly flail when he takes a handful of eager steps forward with you in his arms. 

In the next moment Luffy spins you out away from him, snagging your wrist to stop your momentum and make you jerk to another abrupt standstill. The yank on your shoulder causes it to pop, splintering pain racing up your arm as you cry out. He doesn’t care though. He either doesn’t care or he doesn’t notice, because he just pulls you right back into him again, hard enough to make you collapse with a teeth rattling jolt against his chest. 

“Come on!” He laughs, loud and frenzied, his hold on you much too tight where it’s shackled around your wrist. “Dance with me! Aren’t you having fun?” 

Teeth gnashing to fight back the nausea, you bring your uncaptured hand up and brace it against his shuddering frame. You’re more than just a little surprised to find his heartbeat hammering out a sharp, almost violent staccato against his ribcage, so powerful you can feel it thrumming through his skin. It reminds you of an endless procession of war drums. Too many to count and impossibly loud, their ferocity equally intimidating and awe inspiring. 

What in the world had happened to him? 

You don’t have the privilege of lingering on that question for very long. Couldn’t afford to, as you try to get your tired legs situated under you again so you can stand on your own. “You’re hurting me, Luffy. We don’t have time for this right now. Just let me go. Please.” 

But he doesn’t even seem to register what you’re saying as a plea at all. 

A snickering, raspy laugh rattles up out of him, and you vehemently push at his narrow chest with your uncaptured hand. Shove him as hard as you can. He still doesn't budge though, simply reaching up to snag that wrist too so he can forcefully spin you around in his arms. You feel sick with the rush of motion coupled with the fatigue and throbbing pain in your body but there’s nothing you can do to stop it. He’s too strong, too wild, too lost in whatever manic high he’s slipped into after his fight with Kaido. 

Tightening his grip to lock you against his front, Luffy moulds himself to the line of your back with such an unnatural, rubbery motion that you find yourself fighting not to wretch even as his mouth finds your neck. He nuzzles at you for a brief moment, just brushing his lips over your jackhammering pulse before angling his nose towards the spot just behind your ear. The breath he draws is slow and savory, and he seems to hold it in his lungs for an unnecessarily long time. 

When he at last sighs out, displacing some of the loose flyaways in your hair, an unmistakable rumble low in his chest accompanies it. “Mmm, you smell good. Like victory.” 

What the hell was that supposed to mean? “Luffy, just listen to me … don’t do this. I - I don’t really understand what's happened to you but we can figure it out together. We’ll fix it. I promise. But you need to let me go or - -“

“Let you go? But we’re having so much fun. I want to have even more fun with you but you’re not a fighter, not like he was. And you don’t want to dance with me either.”

He sounds dangerously close to pouting when he says that last bit and you give a halfhearted twist in his hold, testing for any slack. It’s no good though. For as little effort as he seemed to be putting into it, his arms were like iron shackles where they’re criss crossed over your body. Dammit. 

“Why?” You seethe in frustration and fast mounting panic. “Why won’t you just go back to normal, Luffy? This isn’t like you!” 

His frame shakes behind you with the giggles that rise within him, making his whole body vibrate like a mercilessly shaken soda bottle. It quickly grows, rapidly multiplying and expanding until he at last throws his head back with a cackling peel of laughter aimed up at the sky. It’s much too close to your ear and deafeningly loud, reigniting your desperation to get away from him, but your wild thrashing just causes him to laugh even harder. Like he found it hilarious that you were scared and trapped against him. 

“I can’t!” He howls, belly laughing so ferociously it makes you jerk in his hold. “I can’t go back until I’ve used up all of this energy! It feels like I’m going crazy but it feels good too! Amazing even! I’ve never experienced anything like it before! I want to keep going but you can’t fight and you won’t dance with me … but there’s something else we can do together, isn’t there?” 

“What are you ta - -“

He releases you so suddenly you don’t even realize you’re crumpling to the ground until your butt has already hit the rocks, surprising a yelp out of you. Fresh pain immediately races up from your backside in a blinding starburst and you outright hiss as you gingerly start to angle yourself onto your hip in hopes of taking some of the pressure off of where it hurts the most. You don’t quite make it that far though. 

Luffy’s hands are suddenly on your shoulders, shoving you forward to sprawl out rather inelegantly on your front. He follows you down, pinning you to the destroyed ground with his body weight, and you immediately start to panic in earnest. Your captain didn’t look like much more than a lanky beanpole at first glance but he was so densely packed with muscle that he felt like a sack of bricks on top of you. It makes it hard to breathe and the quickened, gasping lungfuls of air you suck in don’t exactly help. Your chest constricts painfully tight as you struggle against him, forgetting all logic and reason in your blind desperation to get away from him. 

He doesn’t even seem to notice though, still just as unbudging sprawled out over top of you as he’d been when the two of you were standing. No amount of kicking your legs or bucking up underneath him even gives him pause, and his greedy hands fumble down to your waist where they squeeze tight enough to rip a hurt shriek from your throat. This doesn’t cut through the manic haze spurring him on either. He doesn’t even waver. 

“What are you — stop that! Have you lost your mind!” 

“I’m sorry.” He snickers, not sounding very sorry at all as he shoves his face into the crook of your neck again. Another deep, savory inhale. Another rumbling exhale right against your pulse. The faintest growl that trails afterward is new though and you go painfully still under him, hardly even daring the blink despite all the grimy dust kicked up in your desperate fight for freedom. 

You’d never, ever heard such a sound come out of him before. It scares you perhaps most of all, and you’d seen many a frightening and unsettling thing since stepping foot into Onigashima. Somehow this just really took the cake though. 

“I’m sorry,” He says it again. Contradicting this, his callous worn fingers dip into the hem of your pants and start to tug at them, jostling you with each insistent pull. “I’m sorry, heheee. I just can’t help myself. If I can’t have you I don’t know what I’ll do. You’ll help me calm down, won’t you?” 

Your mind struggles to process that. He was asking you to help him? Not with words or medicine, or even the endless supply of food he would have otherwise asked for had he been in his right mind. He wanted your body. 

So that’s what it was then. What it all boiled down to. 

If he couldn’t fight you and you refused to dance with him then that left only one other option. He was going to fuck it out of his system. Anything to get rid of all the excess energy running through his body, making him vibrate like a lit fuse on top of you. It made a certain amount of sense, you supposed, but that didn’t mean you had to like it. 

Curling your hands into tight fists against the rocks, numb to the abrasive sting, you draw a rattling breath to center yourself. It doesn’t do much in the way of good. “Please don’t do this.” 

It’s like he doesn’t even hear you, a grunt of victory puffing out of him when he finally manages to get your pants tugged down over the curve of your ass. 

“Please.” You gasp, the sound wet and faltering. 

Completely ignoring you now, Luffy reaches further down to fumble with something lower while his opposite hand possessively curls around your hip to keep you in place. You hiccup rather sadly at the distant sound of rustling clothes, almost completely lost under the violent pounding of blood in your ears, but there’s no missing the fleshy nudge against the back of your thigh that soon follows. It leaves a sticky smear where it touches you, inspiring an eruption of horrified goosebumps in its wake. 

You don’t have to look to know what’s touching you. The innate knowledge of what’s happening and who is responsible for this paralyzing fear that grips your aching heart in a chokehold is horrible and suffocating all at once. Stinging tears spring up and well in the backs of your eyes but you clench your teeth to try and stifle the terrified wail threatening to claw its way up your throat, knowing it would only sound hysterical. 

On one hand you almost couldn’t believe this was really happening, even though the reality of the situation was staring you right in the face. It just seemed almost too implausibly awful to be real. 

But on the other, Luffy wasn’t exactly known for his self control or restraint. You knew this. Had even found it charming at one point or another, so you brace yourself for the worst. It just might be the only thing that ends up saving you. 

“Captain - -“

“I’m sorry.” 

He’s suddenly between your legs, pressing up into you from behind. You go ramrod stiff against him, your whole body clenching in genuine distress, but it does very little to stop him. Like he’s done it a million times before, or perhaps thanks to the instinctive muscle memory bestowed upon every man with a working cock, he pushes right in on your entrance until cunt slips start to part under the pressure. A thin, tremulous groan escapes him at the first kiss of your hot guts against the tip and then he just keeps pushing. Even when your muscles tense up and try to keep him out. Even when he meets a great deal of resistance as your body tries its best to reject him. If anything he almost seems to take it as a challenge the same way he would another combatant or a roadblock standing between him and his goals. 

In this case his goal is clearly to sink himself in you right down to the hilt, and he just puts more effort into his cause the more you try to fight it. Leans his weight into you until it feels like your poor cunt is taking the full brunt of his mass. The resulting stretch of your inner sleeve is painful and drawn out, taking much longer than it otherwise would have had you been even slightly prepped for this. 

Your mouth hinges open but nothing comes out for a prolonged moment as the tears break loose to streak down your face. It feels like he’s tearing you in half! Either he was much bigger than you’d assumed he’d be or by virtue of how tightly your interior walls were squeezing him — or even some terrible combination of the two —  it was like you were being split down the middle. You couldn’t even breathe through the choking discomfort of it and a threadbare, sobbing little mewl dislodges from your throat when he at last manages to shove himself past that first barrier. 

Full penetration is much easier for him to achieve after that but it’s no less painful, and you cry out when he snaps his hips forward once, twice, and finally lodges his length the rest of the way in on the third. A pleased huff slips out of him as he settles on top of you, a fresh wave of giggles quickly following suit. It was like he’d gone mad. So wrapped up in the raving power that had turned his hair white that he can only laugh about it even while he’s buried balls deep in your body. 

That short lived pause is all the respite you get though and Luffy is soon moving, rutting into you with quick, sharp little jabs up into your guts. You shriek at the top of your lungs, clawing at the ground while you kick out behind you, but he ignores this the same as everything else. Lying prone and trapped under him, all you can do is take it. 

“Waah — why are you doing this, Luffy? It hurts! If … if the others find out about this - -“ 

“I know, hahaaa. I know. I’m sorry, but I can’t stop. You feel … this feels amazing! Almost as good as fighting Kaido did!” 

You seethe at that, trying your damndest not to get caught up on it right now but that proves to be more than a little difficult. He really didn’t see any difference between fucking and fighting? Somehow that seemed so typically him, and you think you would have probably joined him in laughing about it under better circumstances. 

But better circumstances wouldn’t have found you being roughly jostled back and forth on the ground by his eager, jack rabbit thrusts. The motion of his hips lacks any and all refinement with no technique to speak of, and yet that doesn’t stop you from seeing stars every time his cock blindly rams into your upper wall. It punches the air from your lungs and materializes out of your mouth in the form of heaving, strained bleats of distress that quickly climb to a higher and higher pitch with each second that goes by. Not for the first time today, you feel like you really might throw up. 

“Ooh, that’s …” He suddenly gasps, lets out a half strangled groan, and drives himself into you even harder. Faster. The force of his pelvis slapping against your upturned ass rapidly grows to a steady, almost constant blur of stinging swats — plap, plap, plap, plap — and you shriek at the rapidly swelling pressure on your gut. “Ooh, that’s good. That’s good! It feels so good! I - I can’t - -“ 

Without warning, your pussy abruptly floods with wet, sticky warmth. He hadn’t even given you a chance to beg for him to pull out. 

Your eyes widen to the approximate size of dinner plates but he just keeps pistoning his hips even as the rest of his shuddering frame gives a series of little jerks to thoroughly empty his balls into you. He shows no signs of slowing down or tiring any time soon though, his limitless energy evidently far outpacing his obvious lack of experience. 

It’s a hard thing to wrap your reeling head around just how quickly everything has happened and yet there’s no mistaking it for what it is. The sensation is completely foreign to you but you innately understood it for what it represented, what it could potentially mean for your future. You’re not half as relieved to have it done and over with as you are terrified of what it meant. 

Even more confounding, however, is that it doesn’t so much as make Luffy slow down let alone stop now that he’s painted your inner sleeve a thick, creamy white. Not the orgasm itself which, considering how much he fills you up, should have thoroughly drained him for the time being, nor the possible repercussions of allowing himself to shoot off inside of you like that. He just keeps going without a care in the world, like it wasn’t his problem and he still had more than enough stamina to keep up the harried pace he’d settled into for the foreseeable future. The only sign of it burning up any of his energy at all is the slightly labored quality his breathing takes on, but that’s it. 

Realizing that this ordeal is still far from over, you give your body a twist and try to angle your cunt away from the constant attack of his cock. “H - hold on a minute, what … aagghhh, what are you doing, Luffy? You - - you can’t just cum inside like that, you idiot!” 

“Can’t stop! Heheehe, I can’t, I can’t, not when you keep squeezing me like that!” 

All but wheezing at the intense pleasure of thrusting into the sticky mess he’s made of you, Luffy presses himself flush against your sweaty back and circles his arms around your middle. You brace to shove him off, or at least try to, but you don’t quite make it that far. 

Catching you completely off guard, he yanks you up against him and practically throws himself back onto the ground. The sudden lurch lodges your stomach in your throat, and you let out a frazzled scream as you land on top of him. That he cushions the impact with his rubbery body only comes as a slight relief when you were struggling just to get your bearings straight, disoriented and stunned in the aftermath of his impulsive decision when you unexpectedly find yourself blinking up at the sky. 

You start to pull yourself upright, wincing, only to quickly realize he’s still got one arm looped around your waist to keep you held in place on top of him. The other is — you gasp when you glance down to see him already fisting his cock in hand, guiding it back to your entrance where it had slipped out in that rush of movement. It’s still achingly stiff and unrelenting, like he hadn’t already spilled his seed in you only moments ago, and your heart painfully wrenches with the fresh wave of dread that comes over you. 

“W - wait, please don’t - -“

The head of him finds your cunt, pressing back up into you again, and you outright sob when he mercilessly snaps his hips to impale you on that stiff length once more. You sway unsteadily at the fresh stretch, trying to decide if it’s better or worse in this position, but gravity soon proves itself your enemy when the weight of you on top of him firmly sinks his cock even further into you than before. It feels like he’s tickling at your ribcage like this, but all you can do is give a wounded little mewl and try to steady yourself. Undaunted, he reaches up to tug your pants the rest of the way off. 

“Luffy,” Sniffling sadly, you fight him as much as you can in your physically exhausted state but it’s no use. Your bottoms come off to leave you bare and exposed from the waist down, sitting upon his cock like a whore on her rightful throne. 

The tears quickly start up again, streaking hot tracks down your flushed, sweaty face while he gets himself situated underneath you. His hips lift, nudging you just a pinch higher so he can brace his feet underneath him while his hands come around to anchor around your love handles. Then, he’s moving again. 

Completely unconcerned by your crying, Luffy flexes his legs to thrust up into you and the same fleshy slap as before quickly rises loud in the air again. Plap, plap, plap, plap. The wet squelch of your seeded cunt sucking him in deep on every upward plunge joins in, adding to the obscene cacophony of noises even as you toss your head back to sob at the sky. You can hear him grunting underneath you, clearly enjoying himself quite a bit, but you couldn’t say the same. Your body was already a sore, achy mess of bruises and scrapes, and this certainly wasn’t helping. You were just getting more and more tired by the minute. 

“Nnghhnnn, please, captain. Please don’t cum inside again, I … I’m begging you!” 

The only response he gives is a low, rumbling groan that seems to bleed into you and reverberate endlessly inside your belly, making you squeeze your thighs together as if to block him out. But of course it doesn’t work. Given the way he stutters over a raspy hiss of your name he actually seems to like the way it makes your walls tighten around him, unintentionally though it may have been. There was really nothing you could have done to dissuade or stop him once he’d set his mind to something, and it seemed he very adamantly had his sights set on using your cunt until his energy reserves finally wore out. 

Distantly, you wonder how long that will actually take. 

“You’re mine, you’re mine, you’re mine,” He chants underneath you, again and again, even when his hands tighten around your hips to guide you into bouncing right along with him. Having no other choice, you snifflingly spread your legs wide and brace your feet on the ground, moving with him despite the throbbing ache in your muscles. “Mine, mine, mine. My prize. My treasure. My woman!” 

He viciously slams his pelvis up at the end, further punctuating his claim on you, and the sharp stab of his cock rips a wild shriek from your mouth. “N - no, captain, please! I can’t — I don’t want it! Not like this! You’re not … aaghnn, you’re not Luffy! You’re not!” 

The only response he gives is a deranged little laugh that makes his cock jump where it’s wedged inside you. That push on your upper wall makes the tension running through you double and then triple, your heaving gasps coming a little quicker now even as his hands travel up your body. You can’t stop him like this when your own were propped behind you along his flexing stomach to help you maintain your balance in this precarious position. It’s not hard to figure out what his intentions are though, and you screw your eyes shut so you don’t have to watch him grab hold of your top. 

A deafening riiiip tears through the air when he shreds it, the poor cotton helpless before his far greater strength. He leaves it hanging from your shoulders in tattered pieces as your tits bounce free, the stiffened tips already aching and strained long before he greedily palms at them like a starved man clutching at a lifeline. The blinding friction of his calloused palms and fingers on your teats makes your cunt spasm around him and you wail, screaming for someone, anyone to save you from your captain. 

Unfortunately for you, help was still a long ways off and Luffy wasn’t even close to running out of steam.

⭐

Crossposted: here

[frenziedfireworks]

Scribner's Desk

Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Summary : You and your boyfriend wait for Scribner to leave. Sebastian has other ideas to get back at the old woman.

CW : SMUT, f!reader, 18+ Characters, daddy kink/princess, degrading/praising, oral/fingering (f!receiving), orgasm denial, fucking in the library, breeding kink & creampie

A/N : I swear I write more than just smut for Seb.. I have so many things in the works. T-T

Sebastian and you had a habit of sneaking into the library at night for as long as you could remember. Hell, your first memory of him was the day he took the blow for you against Scribner. Now, Scribner was not as fond of these memories or said escapades.. She had even stayed later than usual in attempts to catch the two of you. Not that it worked. 

“I think she’s given up.” Sebastian whispered to you from the bottom of the stairs, grinning as Scribner walked off. You were surprised the old woman could even stay up till one am. 

“She’s dedicated, if anything. I’ll give her that.” You murmured. Sebastian hummed as his arm reached around your waist and turned you to face him. His hand brushed against your cheek and he leaned in for a kiss. 

“You look so good right now.” The freckled man said between breaths, his lips sucking at any flesh he could find. Your body heated at the compliment and your hands buried in his hair. His tongue rolled over the spots he left along your neck, soothing the small pain.

“Look at you. Letting me mark you up in the library. Such a naughty girl.” Your moan only seemed to egg him on, the palm of his hand wrapping around your throat.

“I wanna fuck you on Scribner’s desk.” He grunted and you swore your eyes popped out of your head.

A small ‘ok’ left your mouth before you knew and he yanked you into his hold. His footsteps were harsh as he slammed you against the desk and waved the door to lock.

“Don’t worry darling, I won’t let Scribner watch as I demolish you.” Sebastian’s crude laugh filled your core with desire and you bucked back into him. His groans were delicious and the friction of his erection was even better.

“Seb-” A harsh scream left your mouth without warning as his hand smacked against your ass.

“Don’t you get hasty. I want to enjoy my time.” His arm rubbed your core against him and his head fell against your shoulder.

“I bet you’re fucking soaked. Let’s see.” You could practically hear the smirk in his voice as his hands undid your trousers and ghosted towards your cunt. Your body shook as his fingers finally made way to where you needed him the most.

“Oh princess, you are. Is this all for me?” He teased as his digit pressed further against your ruined bloomers. 

“Y-Yes. All for you.”

Sebastian seemed to like that answer as his finger slipped through your folds and probed at your hole. Your hands gripped at the wood of the desk, desperate for anything to hold onto. You felt Sebastian shuffle behind you and almost screamed as you felt his hands yank your panties down. His breath tickled at your core and it was taking everything in you not to buck into his face. 

“What a good girl. I can see your hips twitching. You need daddy’s help?” Sebastian cooed and leaned even closer. His fingers teased at your nub a few times, getting a few mewls out of you before he moved in. His tongue swept over your folds and teased at your pulse. He was always like this at first - a big fat tease before he drove himself up the wall. You didn’t mind it though, you would take anything he was willing to give. 

“Oh baby you taste so good. Making a mess on my face.” Sebastian groaned as he pulled your legs even further apart and speared his tongue into you. Your moans only picked up as continued his brutal pace and brought you closer and closer. 

“I’m so close Seb-” Your words stopped as he slowly pulled back and licked his lips. That bastard.

“Why did you stop?!” Your eyes flared at the loss of an orgasm and he just cackled.

“Oh princess.. You didn’t think I was going to let you come on my tongue, right? You’re only made to take my cock.” His hand slammed against your ass and you squealed. You were impatient and rutted your ass against him. You received another slap to the ass in retaliation. 

“Would you give me one second? I can’t even zip my pants down because you’re such a cock hungry whore.” 

The words made your body ache, watching from over your shoulder as his cock slapped out of his briefs. The sight alone made your mouth drool. His tip was red and weeping. Precum dripped down across the shaft, enhancing your view of a thick vein.  Part of you wanted to get on your knees and let him face fuck you but you were too desperate. You needed him.

“You like the view sweetheart?” Sebastian grinned as he lined himself up and tapped his cock against your folds. His teases continued as he humped the outside of your cunt.

“So fucking wet. Tell me what you want.” His hand yanked at your hair and forced you to look at him.

“I need you to fuck me.” 

“You need who to fuck you?” He questioned and you whimpered.

“I need you to fuck me daddy.” You batted your eyelashes, doing your best to be his pretty and obedient girl.

“That’s what I fucking thought. Only daddy can fill you up like this.” Sebastian’s cock sank into you and it felt like bliss. The stretch of his girthy member was always painfully satisfying. 

“Mmmh~” You moaned out and Sebastian took the hint. His grip on your hips was almost as rough as his thrusts and his mouth never truly stopped.

“Fucking take it. Look at your pussy get ruined.” Your head was pushed down to where the two of you connected and you clenched. Your eyes took in the fast pace of his cock ramming in and out, covered in slick. 

It wasn’t long before you were a ragdoll in his hold, his hands yanking at your scalp to pull you into him. His cock pistoned violently and you could feel the stutters in his form. He was as close as you were.

“So close.” You howled as you felt a rather harsh tug to your hair. Your body clenched around his cock in anticipation.

“Fucking cum. Cum with me while I fill you full.” Sebastian’s voice and pace faltered as your eyes rolled back and you gripped him like a vice. Your body jolted as white ribbons of cum filled you and Sebastian’s profanities flew past his lips. The two of you laid against the desk for quite a while, catching your breath.

“So much for Scribner’s plan to ruin our fun. If anything I think I have to thank her.” Sebastian laughed as he pulled out and winked at you. You only groaned at the snarky response and began to redress. 

“You’re so full of it.” 

“And you’re so full of me.” Sebastian retorted and your jaw dropped. You weren’t surprised but you had to admit that it was a good one.

“Wow. Nice one.” You guffawed and the boy leaned in to place a kiss on your lips.

“Thanks babe. I’ll be here all night.”

[mamawasatesttube]

10 for timkon from my favorite timkon writer, please? if u have the time?

10. "I won't let you."

“Go away,” Kon pleads.

His voice is raw, his breath rasping in his throat; he’s crouched amid the rubble, hidden behind a half-demolished wall, all curled up with his knees tucked to his chest. He’s clutching his head so hard his knuckles are pale. Tim looks at him for a long moment, thinking.

If Kon really wanted to, he could push him away with a brush of TTK, could prevent him from taking a single step closer. But he’s too terrified of himself to even think about using his powers on Tim right now. It’s funny—just half an hour ago, before the attack started, he was laughing as he rotated Tim in the air (“See, Bart, it’s a ro-Tim-sserie! Get it?!”).

Tim steps closer. “No.”

Kon scrabbles backwards, his back hitting the dusty corner. “Get—get back! It’s not safe, Rob, please!”

“I’m perfectly safe here.” Tim keeps his voice level as he plops down on the ruined floor next to Kon. “It’s just you and me.”

Kon’s face twists with anguish. “Yeah, that’s the problem—I know you’re not this stupid! She—she tried to m-mind control me, and—and I barely fought it off! What if—if—”

He breaks off for a second, his chest heaving with barely-controlled panic. Tim’s heart aches, just from watching him.

“I could hurt you. Again. Or—or worse—Rob, you have to leave, because—because if I kill you I’ll never, ever forgive myself, I—I’d probably just k—”

“Kon-El.” A note of sternness creeps into Tim’s voice. It does the trick; Kon’s panicked rambles choke off before he finishes that sentence. They both know what he was going to say. “You’re not gonna hurt me.”

Kon’s eyes flick up to meet his, a flash of inhuman blue. All too quickly, though, they drop back to the dust-strewn floor, and Kon bites his lip. “…How’re you so certain?”

“Because,” Tim says, as though it’s simple. It is simple. “I won’t let you.”

Kon inhales sharply. A look of shock, then incredible relief smooths over his features, and he lets out a slow breath, leaning his head back against the wall. “You have kryptonite? God, Robbie, you shoulda led with that, I—it’s a lot easier knowing you could put me down if you have to—”

Tim whips around on him, glaring with the full force of his cowl. His friends joke about it, but the thing is pretty damn unsettling when he needs it to be. And right now, he needs it to be. “Put you down?” he hisses, horror rippling through his stomach and radiating all the way down his legs. “I would never.”

Stunned, Kon stares at him, lips slightly parted, eyes too bright. As Tim watches, his lower lip wobbles just a touch. “I… then what do you mean, you… you won’t let me?”

Oh, for the love of—

Tim reaches for him. Cups his face in his gloved hands, strokes his thumbs over Kon’s cheekbones, and pulls him closer. Presses their foreheads together, cups the back of Kon’s neck. Kon’s eyes are wide as he stares into Tim’s; Tim counts it as a victory that he doesn’t try to pull away.

“How did you fight the spell off earlier?” He rubs his thumb over the back of Kon’s neck, aching inside where it can’t show. Kon doesn’t understand just how precious he is. Maybe that’s Tim’s fault, for struggling to tell him out loud often enough. He’ll work on it.

Kon sucks in a breath. Bites his lip. He still doesn’t pull away. “I… thought really hard about… being my own person,” he finally mumbles. “And about—about what I fight for. What I wanna protect.”

“Bingo.” Tim smiles at him, pets his cheek. “And what do you want to protect? Wouldn’t having it right there make it easier to fight her off again, if she even got the chance to try?”

Kon’s eyes widen. He sucks in a breath, and his lower lip wobbles again. There’s a smear of dust on his cheek from Tim’s glove. Tim tenderly thumbs it away.

“Oh,” Kon whispers, and then—

A net of TTK wraps around Tim and hauls him into Kon’s lap, and then Kon’s arms wrap around his waist as Kon buries his face in his neck. Tim can feel him trembling.

There we go, Tim thinks, pleased. He cradles Kon’s head to himself, strokes the back of his neck again. “See?” he asks. “I told you. Perfectly safe.”

“You have got to stop ruining sweet moments by saying ‘I told you so,’” Kon mumbles into his neck.

Tim laughs, squeezing Kon’s shoulder. Just like that, he knows—his clone boy will be okay.  

[prettyflyforawhitelie]

Hazbin Hotel Beach! Headcanons

Characters: Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, Angel, Husk, Sir Pentious, Nifty, Lucifer, Adam, Cherri

A/N: Hey guys! I am just so ready for summer to come so I can relax on the beach… so i thought it would be fun to do some beach headcanons for our favorite sinners!

😈🗝️Charlie🗝️😈:

Definitely the one that organized this entire beach day.

Though this is supposed to encourage relaxation, she is sort of stressed making sure that everyone gets along. 

Very adamant that everyone wears their sunscreen.

Drags Vaggie into the water to play around and try to find fish.

Makes sure everything is as perfect as it can get. Snacks? Check. Tons of water and drinks? Check. Umbrellas and tents? Check. Speakers? You bet!

Once she tires herself out, she takes a very well-deserved nap in the sand.

🪽⚔️Vaggie⚔️🪽:

Spend the trip making sure that Charlie finally gets a day to relax and not worry so much.

The second anyone tries to splash her or throw sand at her, a full blown beach battle ensues.

Will definitely be the one to dig holes in the sand and see how deep she can make it.

Was planning on relaxing and sunbathing, but gave in to Charlie's begging to go swimming (and actually enjoyed it a lot).

The second Charlie takes a nap, Vaggie will guard her to make sure that nobody disturbs her needed sleep. 

Makes sure to put more sunscreen on Charlie while she’s asleep so she won’t get burned.

🦌📻Alastor📻🦌:

This man is allergic to the sun.

Like, he’s covered from head to toe in sunscreen, wearing far too much clothing given the fact that he’s at the beach, and hides in a beach tent for the entirety of the day. 

Angel thought it would be funny to toss some sand into his tent until Alastor sent one of his shadows after him and he ran away screaming.

Like… Why did he agree to come??

He does enjoy listening to some of the music that Charlie plays until he realizes that it’s coming from a phone and not a radio (Al, who the fuck brings a radio to the beach?).

The only person that he lets come into his tent is Niffty, because she just over exhausts herself and takes a nap in the shade.

🕷️💖Angel Dust💖🕷️:

Definitely the life of the party.

Is wearing the most stylish bikini and the cuntiest sunglasses, just a total beach diva.

Though Charlie insisted that the only drinks allowed were water and soda, Angel manages to sneak a couple bottles of Beelzejuice so he and Husk can actually have some fun.  

Builds sand castles with Cherri Bomb, gets extremely upset if somebody messes it up.

Absolutely demolishes the competition in a game of beach volleyball (Having 6 arms comes in handy). 

Also wins any sort of swimming contest that Vaggie challenges him to (Again, 6 arms really gives you an advantage).

Definitely sees some cute guys and fake-flirts with them to get Husk’s attention.

♥️🥃Husk🥃♥️:

He’s a cat demon for a reason, any time Angel tries to drag him into the water, the hairs on his back rise and he hisses in disdain. 

The group eventually gives up on trying to get him to swim, letting him relax in the sand instead.

Drinks almost all of Angel's alcohol stash and passes out in the sand, curled into a purring ball, wings protecting him from being burned.

Angel takes a picture of him like this, and when he later finds it in Angel’s room he threatens to kill him if he doesn't immediately get rid of it (secretly thinks it's sweet that angel cares enough to hang a photo of him in his room.)

After much begging, he agrees to play beach volleyball with Angel, Cherri, and Vaggie. He absolutely sucks and gets pissed if anybody makes fun of him for it (except for Angel. He’ll allow it).

Ends up carrying most of the heavy stuff after they decide to leave.

🐍⚙️Sir Pentious⚙️🐍:

Decides to bring his Egg Bois, but ends up worried that they’ll literally cook the whole time so he makes a little hole for them in the sand to cool off. 

“Uhh.. Miss Cherri, would you like to build a sandcastle with me?” “Why? I thought we were mortal enemies, old man!” “Uh.. ummm… because I’m asking EVERYONE to build a sandcastle with me…!”

Hangs out in the water the whole time because it’s much easier to maneuver in water than on sand as a snake. 

Built a machine specifically made to drill holes underground, somehow ends up making an entire tunnel system under the sand. This eventually leads to Vaggie walking on a particularly weak spot on the sand and literally falling into the caved-in tunnel. She was pissed off, to say the least, and banned the use of any “inventions” for the rest of the day.

Really wants to impress Cherri and join in on her volleyball game, but is way too shy. He’ll just cheer her on and admire her from the sidelines.

Loves napping in the sun -  being at the beach is like laying under one big heat lamp, so his cold-blooded self delights in it.

🪳🪡Niffty🪡🪳:

Because there are no bugs for her to kill, she will literally hunt hermit crabs for sport. It’s actually horrifying. 

Sir Pentious soon regrets building the whole tunnel system thing because Niffty starts crawling around in it and jumpscaring people at random. 

Somebody has to have their eye on her the entire time, or she will disappear without a trace and just - become one with the crabs?

Eventually tires herself out and takes a nap in Alastor’s tent (Much to everyone’s relief).

Definitely brings up the idea of going out to get a treat after, like ice cream or snow cones, which surprisingly everyone agrees with. 

Ends up sneaking a few small animals back with her to the hotel.

🍒💣Cherri Bomb💣🍒:

Thought it was lame when Charlie insisted on a “sin-free” trip, but had a little hope when Angel told her about the drinks he snuck in. Got extra pissed when she found Husk passed out with all of the bottles empty.

Was the one who initiated all of the athletic games, she just needs an outlet to blow some steam off.

When she’s not playing in the sun, she lays on her towel and makes designs on herself using sunscreen so she can have some cute marks after she’s done tanning. 

Thought it was adorable that Sir Pentious set up his towel and things suspiciously close to her because it was “the only spot where the sun coated him evenly” (Like what? Dude could not be more obvious.)

Brought a surfboard because she used to love surfing before she died and tries to teach anybody who’s willing to learn. 

Sets off one of her bombs underwater to create the biggest wave anybody’s ever seen (it ends up soaking everybody else, and she has to make it up to them by covering the ice cream bill later).

🐣👹Lucifer👹🐣:

Only came because Charlie insisted that it would be a good father-daughter bonding experience.

Kind of puts everyone on their toes - can they even have fun with the king of Hell watching their every move? (This helps Charlie prolong her nap - nobody wants to joke around or mess with her in front of her dad).

Tensions are high until he joins the volleyball game and shows everyone that yes, the king of Hell can be fun too.

Everyone relaxes after this, but they relax more when Lucifer shyly gives each of them a rubber duck that looks just like them. When Charlie asked him about this, he replied “I guess if they’re your friends, they should be my friends too.”

Has a huge rubber duck inflatable pool float that he brings to float around on.

Claims that he doesn’t like going to the beach, but the matching swim trunks and Hawaiian shirt that he just happened to have in his closet says differently.

🎸👼Adam👼🎸:

Has the original dad bod and will 100% flaunt it and talk about how sexy he is (nobody is listening.)

Wasn’t actually even invited, but he ended up seeing the rest of them there and hoped that he could make them miserable if he hung out just close enough to them.

Steals Cherri’s surfboard and brags about how he’s about to demolish the waves, but absolutely eats shit and will never hear the end of it.

Doesn’t realize Lucifer is there until he sees him glaring at him from a nearby tent and gets scared shitless.

Will deny it if anybody asks, but he’s secretly looking for the perfect seashell to bring back to Heaven and surprise Lute with. 

Everyone genuinely celebrates when he gets bored and finally decides to leave (cue that one duck meme “ADAM!”) 💀

[xx-lemon-drop-xx]

Bestiiieeeee hiiiiiiii!!!!!

May I request some kink headcanons for Jack, Loki, Hermes, Poseidon, and Hades please? Thank youuuu!! Love you bestieeeee!!!

WORMYYYYY <3

Hi Bestie :3

Warnings: Spit kink, Thigh riding, knife kink, mentions of blood, Size kink, choking, bdsm, Degradation (Use of words such as whore, slut.) Gn reader, ooc ror characters.

Request: Yes.

Words: 1,211

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Jack The Ripper

Jack is into some… Pretty intense shit I feel. Though that also comes with being a murder, I don't think he can be with someone that simply just likes vanilla.

He definitely has a knife kink. Let him drag that blade down your skin and watch the cripples of red that come to the surface. You look so much prettier in red, after all.

Let him lick the blood off of you, tongue dragging across all of the sensitive crooks and crannies of your body. He'll bite and suck pretty red marks all over your body, worshiping you thoroughly.

Jack has a thing for choking you during sex. His thrusts are hard and fast too, though he makes sure to reach all of the right places.

He enjoys when you crawl on top of him to initiate anything intimate. If he's buried in a book just gently push him back and crawl on top of him. Straddle his hips and trail your fingers over his chest, he'll be hooked onto you.

He does enjoy some bondage. He likes seeing you all tied up and pretty for him.

If you're being too loud he won't hesitate to shove his fingers down your throat and choke and gag you on them. Be good for this Pretty little Psycho, okay?

Loki

Another one that's into pretty intense shit.

Have you ever had sex while in the air before? Because with this God that's exactly what's going to happen.

You better be able to shut your mouth because he just loves doing it in public. If you get caught he isn't stopping later. He'll tease and call you names, showing you off to whoever caught you in the moment.

He's the definition of a sadist. You will be his cock sleeve. He's another one that enjoys choking the daylights out of you.

Every wonder what that long tongue of his can do? Nothing not sinful, I'll tell you that much. He's able to reach so deep into that hole of yours. If you're not squirming and writhing under him he's not stopping.

He's as Much of a Dom as he is a Bottom. Loki is the complete definition of a switch.

He's very whiny when he's a bottom. Be careful with him, he's sensitive. (Don't be careful with him.) Twist and pull his nipples, bite him, absolutely demolish him, he loves it.

He's very much into denying you of your orgasm as much as he's into you denying him of his orgasm.

Hermes

Has more vanilla than the rest but he can still be rough.

He likes hard slow thrusts that make you squirm. He does like going around 2-3 rounds before he's tired out and wants to sleep.

He will push your mouth open and spit into it. Praise him. Worship him. He is your God. He is your everything. Thank him for spitting on you. Thank him for calling you names.

Speaking of names, he will degrade you with a mixture of praise. Though, it is more degradation than praise.

Hands down the best at After care. He'll massage you, he'll get you drinks, he'll draw a bath for you. Just let him pamper you please, it's what he does after being so rough with you.

Please cock warm him. He enjoys being inside of you while reading or relaxing in general. Zeus usually has him running in circles, treat this gentleman well.

Not only is sex love making to him but it's also a type of stress relief for him. Hermes is always wound up in some way.

He will have quickies, though he does prefer being in the bedroom more than anything.

Poseidon

The King of domination. Be scared for your weeping hole, this God is huge in size.

Definitely has a size kink. He enjoys seeing your stomach bulge by the mere size of his cock. You'll catch him pressing down on the bulge or just caressing your stomach in general.

He's very heavy on degradation. If you can't take hard core heavy name calling its best not to be in a relationship with you.

Poseidon also likes cockwarming. He'll have you sitting on his cock for hours and everytime you wiggle even slightly he adds more time to it. It's best to just obey his orders.

Rough sex is always sex with him.

Rut on his thigh like a bitch in heat, or if he is in a punishing cruel mood perhaps he'll have you rut against his shoe.

Don't forget to lick it clean afterwards.

Definitely into Bdsm. He's not going to be nice to you, either. He thrusts hard and fast and your body will be sore in the morning. You will be leaving scratch marks on his back when he goes down on you.

But that's okay, Poseidon likes pain.

Hades

The King of Big dick himself?

Definitely has a size kink, have you seen the bulge in his pants? He probably has the biggest cock out of the gods, he loves seeing your stomach bulge as he bullies his cock inside of you.

Hades always makes you feel like your filled to the absolute brim, though that's because you literally are. But that's okay, he'll mold the shape of his cock into you so it'll be nice and comfortable.

Likes Cock warming. Hades always has loads of paperwork to do and with his brother's shenanigans on top of it he's stressed. Just be nice and sit on his cock for him while he completes paperwork, he'll reward you nicely afterwards.

Another one that's onboard with Thigh riding. He'll help you rut your hips against his thigh until you're whimpering and moaning into his shoulder limp as hell.

He's much more vanilla than most of the other gods, though that doesn't mean Hades doesn't like to be a bit experimental.

Bestie Bonus: Shiva

Another big dicked bitch.

Once again this man has a size kink, he likes seeing you struggling to take in his size. This man also has a pretty dick, you know all the lines on his body? They're on his dick too. And there's a large pretty vein that goes all the way down the back of it.

He's thicker than he is longer.

He has four arms for a good reason. The way he can maneuver you around is amazing, and it's never a struggle to get you in all the correct positions he wants you in.

He'll lay back and let you do whatever you want to him on the lazier nights, but don't get too cocky, he's still a Dom through and through.

He'll spit in your mouth and look cocky while doing it. Shiva also loves leaving marks all over your body.

He'll worship your thighs. Literally. Leaves bites, Hickey's, and all types of marks on your thighs.

If you have a voice kink it's your time to Shine. Shiva loves whispering in your ear during sex, telling you how much of a whore you are, or a slut you are. How beautiful you are under him like this.

[tzuyusluv]

❥ I Just Wanna Be Yours

genre → fluff, suggestive

pairing → skz x reader

warnings → in Minho’s mc is hinted at being insecure, Seungmin’s could be seen as suggestive but it depends

word count → 0.9k

summary → Stray Kids and Where They Kiss You

Bangchan | Shoulder Kisses

The beats coming from Chan’s computer felt relaxing. It was a more slow song that what they usually did but no one complained when they saw how hard their leader was working. Your eyes start to flutter when his hand comes to your back and starts to rub it. Chan’s been doing that since you came into the studio and sat on his lap, he knows it your weakness. “Go to sleep baby. I’ll be right here.” You don’t respond with words but instead dig your face deeper into his neck. “Need good night kiss first.” Your words are muffled due to you finding a new home in Chan, but he can understand you nonetheless, he always does. He just chuckles and gives you a kiss on your shoulder as you drift off.

Minho | Lip Kisses

Your ranting comes to a stop when you realize that you’ve been talking since Minho came home. He leans up from where he laid on your chest and glares at you in a way that isn’t mean but says ‘why tf did you stop?’ Reading him like an open book, you whisper about how you thought that you were talking too much. Minho sucks in a harsh breath at that and leans all the way up, pulling you into his lap. He wraps his arms around your hips and pulls you as close as can be. He then leans down and starts pecking your lips whispering in between each one saying that he could never get tired of you.

Changbin | Neck Kisses

Changbin’s buff arms wrap around you as he comes up behind you in the kitchen. “Bin! I was cooking, what if I dropped the pan?” Changbin doesn’t respond except for a small laugh at your words. “I’m sorry angel. Just can’t get enough of you.” He digs his face closer to you. “Bin!” His hair starts to tickle your face. Lifting his head up from the crevices of you neck, he grins before diving back down and giving lots of kisses, some wet and some were just pecks, on your neck. Laughing at the kisses, you don’t even notice that his fingers are coming up to your sides. You laugh even harder at the contact, Changbin stopping for a moment just to listen to you attempt to catch your breath. Yeah, he could live with this as the rest of his life.

Hyunjin | Cheek Kisses

Walking the zoo was your favorite date and Hyunjin just loved to see you happy. Seeing the penguins exhibit banner, Hyunjin watches as you speed walk towards them. Once he finally makes he way over to you, he can see that your eyes are sparkling with joy at the birds plopping into the water. He looks behind him and sees a photo booth and tugs your arm over to it. Pulling you inside it and pushing the money in, you quickly get ready for the four pictures. The first one is you two holding up peace signs, the second one is you both creating a heart with you hands, the third one is your ‘silly’ faces and the forth one is Hyunjin pressing his fingers into your cheeks and giving you a kiss.

Jisung | Thigh Kisses

You watch as Han demolishes Hyunjin in smash bros. His Kirby easily defeating Hyunjin’s Mario. You look down at the boy in front of you and in between your legs. You move your hand down to his hair and start petting it. He leans into your touch, basking in your affection but stops when Hyunjin starts up a new game. Before Han starts fighting, he quickly leans towards your thigh and gives it a kiss, saying it’s his good luck charm.

Felix | Forehead Kisses

The oven light shows the brownies that are being baked and you watch how they rise with the heat. You and Felix made them when he had a day off and away from his other members, despite Chan’s slight complaints about his brother being taken away from him, though you know it’s all in good fun. You hear as Felix’s footsteps make their way to you from the sink. He wordlessly holds out his hand, which you take. Pulling you up into a hug, he starts to slow dance with you. Just some slight movements and you can hear him start to hum. He pushes his finger under your chin and lifts it up towards his lips where he gently presses down on your forehead.

Seungmin | Hand Kisses

Waking up to Seungmin was everything you could ever want in life. He looked so perfect in the morning light that shed through the curtains. So calm, almost as if he didn’t have any worries. Tracing your hands down his face, you watch as his eyes flutter open. His signature smile appearing on his face when he sees you. He grabs the hand that was caressing his face and starts to gently kiss it. From your fingers, to your palm and then down to your wrist. He gently pecks and once he finishes at your wrist, he starts to go back up. Up your wrist, back to your palm and then to your fingers once more.

Jeongin | Chin Kisses

The light from the TV glares at you both. Jeongin holds you in his arms and against his chest. The couch is filled with pillows and blankets that are halfway off the couch or completely covering you two. The TV shows when Sophie and Howl meet for the first time in years. You glance up towards Jeongin who’s still focused on the movie. You lean up towards him and give him a small kiss on his chin. He looks down back at you before starting to pull you even closer. The other boys find you two like that, on the sofa with lots of snack bags on the coffee table, blankets that were originally in their rooms littered throughout the room, you and Jeongin cuddled up with your head below his chin.

©️tzuyuluvs | Pease don’t translate, rewrite or blatantly steal any of my content.

[chaoticbardlady99]

Lethal Woman- Chapter 7 (Astarion x GN! Reader) MDNI 18+ Only

Synopsis- You and your rag tag team of heroes barely escaped the Githyanki with your lives. You and Astarion grow closer as you learn about each other’s traumas and have a heartfelt conversation about what you both want out of this situation.

CW: Smut, mentions of violence, mentions of SA, mentions of trauma

I put a start and stop for the smut just in case anyone does not want to read it 😀 thank you for reading! I have had posting paralysis and task paralysis for a week so this has been completed for a hot minute now lmao

Chapter Eight

You cough and sputter as you slowly begin to come back to life- your head is throbbing and you hear a familiar voice frantically screaming nearby. The iron, sweet smell of blood hits your nose- Astarion.

It slowly comes back to you now. You had all been running out of the crèche- you, Lae’zel, Astarion, and Karlach- trying to escape the murderous Githyanki (you did demolish their inquisitor so you understand- still sucks though). You had split off from the group with the Blood of Lathander so that they could get to safety faster while you used the weapon to destroy the Monastery and keep the Gith off your tails. You remember the way the magic had moved through the Mace and the blast shaking the ground- the monastery collapsing in on itself.

You had been running away- nearly to safety when the floor beneath your feet gave way. You had felt your heart stop in your chest as you felt gravity begin to pull you down, then something hits you- hard- and you go flying to a more stable part of the floor. Strong, hands wrapped around your arm, pulling you upright, and dragging you behind them in the growing darkness- you barely make out Astarion in the dust. Right before you were going to exit the building- it collapsed in on the two of you- Astarion was on top of you within seconds to shield you from the rocks, then you don’t remember much else.

His blood is in the air- not a lot, but more than you are comfortable with. You sit upright too fast- the world is spinning, but you need to get to him.

Astarion is not that far ahead of you. You survey the room- grateful you were born with Darkvision- and recognize that you are stuck pretty tightly up against the wall where you had found the old rusty Mace. The ceiling had caved in, but the rubble that had fallen first had allowed a tight little room to form- the wall showing the front of the monastery has air coming through it, but it’s pitch black and there is evidently no way out. You have both been buried alive.

Soldier!!!!!! Soldier- I need you to respond. You feel Karlach desperation, Where the fuck are you?

We’re in here! You show her the room and you feel her relief and instant recognition of the area, go get Gale and see if he can’t shrink the rocks down. Wyll should have some smoke powder bombs and please ask Shadowheart how to cast calm for me.

You can feel Karlach befuddlement at the request, Why do you need to cast calm?

Astarion’s feral terrified screams echo through both of your heads as it starts up again. Astarion is slamming his hands against the rocks, cutting into his palms and belligerently begging to be let out.

Got it, Soldier. Karlach’s sadness and worry mirrors your own- not as intense, but it’s there.

Karlach had grown rather fond of Astarion too- they were quick to become friends. Karlach cares for Astarion and you see that in flashes- but you see how her feelings change towards him as Astarion becomes closer with you. She sees ‘undying adoration’ for you in his eyes- you told her there’s no way. You had slept together two weeks ago.

The night after he had asked to meet you again, you agreed, but when you went, he wasn’t present at all. It felt forced and mechanical so you stopped him. Astarion became defensive and has been basically avoiding you ever since.

“Give him a minute, Soldier,” she had reassured you, “maybe you were just that brilliant in bed and he’s resisting the urge to take you all the time.”

“I seriously doubt that, but thanks.”

Another blood curdling scream and Astarion slamming himself against the rocks breaks you from your thoughts.

Tell her I’m having a panic attack. I don’t want Astarion to feel uncomfortable around everyone when we get back.

Roger that.

After Karlach is no longer communicating with you- you cast Faerie Light- illuminating the room in a soft, relaxing glow. Astarion is staring at you- eyes wide with fear and his hands dripping in blood. You slowly walk towards him and he slams himself back against the wall and bares his fangs at you.

You freeze- something in you is saying not to move because that could very well be the end of your life. You don’t think it would be intentional on his part, but it certainly wouldn’t be a fun thing to explain to the group as he pays 200 gold to Withers.

You gently set the light down and take two steps back- giving him more space. You watch as he begins to relax a bit more- his eyes seem more focused. As he begins to relax, he begins to shake and slowly drops to his knees- curling his arms around himself and hiding his face.

The room is not very big- you realize. It’s maybe only the size of a small tent really, but Astarion has told you about Cazador burying him and then being stuck down there for a year. Sometimes Cazador would put him in his tomb for short stints of time. One of the first nights you had spent time together on this journey, Astarion had talked about how grateful he was to know he will never have to be back in his tomb again.

This space must be suffocating him.

You slowly walk towards him making a point of creating some sound for him to know you are coming over. Despite all of Dahlia’s torments, she had been unable to get rid of the parts of you that were reminiscent of your parents. Your father’s kindness and patience persisted; your mother’s brilliance and strong-will had only been hiding under the surface. You also think of Tessa- who gently healed you when she found you bleeding out in an alleyway. The way she had spoken to you- the way she used the Weave to gently bring the skin back together. You had never felt more cared for in your life- more seen.

What if that would help Astarion right now?

Astarion is shaking and sobbing silently- his hands are bleeding while he tries desperately to keep them still again. His nails are cracked, chipped, bloody, and raw.

You are going to kill Cazador Szarr if it’s the last thing you do- you are going to torment him until he feels as afraid as he has made Astarion feel for the last 200 years.

At one point in your life- you had wanted to be a healer. You find it ironic that you are an assassin instead and Astarion just so happens to need both.

You know basic healing magic- enough for this at the very least.

“Star,” your words are barely a whisper, “would it be okay if I healed your hands?”

You wait for what feels like an eternity and then he holds out one of his hands to you, the other one still wrapped around his legs.

You begin to work, slowly using the magic to stitch the wounds together like Tessa had shown you. You find yourself remembering your mother singing Drow lullabies to you in the Mine when you were afraid. You would do the same for her after she had spent countless hours pleasuring horrible men. You would sing the songs to her in Undercommon as she had taught you to.

Absentmindedly, you begin to sing a lullaby under your breath as your hands gently caress his wounds closed.

When I was only, only a boy,

I saw my mother cry.

You turn over his hand and press a soft kiss to the back of it when you are finished and then guide it back to his leg- like Tessa had done for you. You gently coax his other hand into yours and begin tracing the cuts, erasing the bruises, wiping away the blood.

The time had come to pay for her sins,

The price, my friend, was I.

You don’t notice how Astarion is staring at you- watching you with so much intensity and adoration. No one has ever touched him this softly, been so patient and understanding, or extinguished his anxiety like this before. Your voice is soft and sweet. He recognizes the language and the song- Sins of the Mother, one of the old Drow lullabies.

A nest of flowers covers the place,

Where in the ground I lie.

You survey the other hand- satisfied with your work, but begin tracing the lines of his hands.

Now I'm a pile of lonely old bones,

A thousand years gone by.

You are done tracing the lines of his hand by the time you finish the song and when you go to release it, he pulls you into him by the wrist- placing you on his lap. You are stiff because it wasn’t expected, but you caress his silvery blonde locks and let him put his ear to your chest.

“Sins of the Mother,” he whispers.

You hum in acknowledgment through pursed lips.

“It’s morbid, but it’s my favorite,” you admit, “Descent to Light is fine and all, but I stopped feeling inclined to sing it when my mother died.”

“Descent to Light is beautiful, but unrealistic,” Astarion regards you for a second before saying, “I think Sins of the Mother might be my favorite too.”

As long as you are the one singing it.

You don’t think he meant to share that thought with you, but you blush all the same.

You both sit there for what feels like seconds, but is probably more like 15 minutes just in silence. Your arms are wrapped around his neck and his around your torso. Your legs are entangled as you sit in his lap and you continue to play with his hair. Astarion sighs in pleasure every so often- inhaling deeply.

“I’m sor-,” he begins to say and you cut him off with a chaste kiss. Astarion looks at you with surprise- the look on your face tells him you are equally as shocked at your actions.

You had only slept together two weeks ago and HE HAS BEEN AVOIDING YOU SINCE! What are you doing!?

YOU PSYCHO! You think, mentally face palming, but you decide to just roll with it like you actually have some confidence.

“I don’t want to hear it- you have nothing and I mean nothing to be sorry for Star,” you say with intensity, looking directly at him, “Cazador did unspeakable, horrific things to you- I will help you make him pay and I will never, ever allow him to touch you, speak to you, or even perceive you without me by your side ready to help hold him down so you can destroy him- do you understand? I promise you- I will not rest until that man ceases to exist.”

Astarion is looking at you, tears streaming down his face. His expression is open and vulnerable- for the first time, you see all the pain that he has experienced over the last 200 years. You gently rub your thumbs along his cheekbones, wiping away the tears while fighting your own.

“He will never touch you again, Astarion,” you say with a promise of vengeance to come, a finality “I vow to destroy him before he’s even able to try..”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You and Astarion had been rescued hours earlier by Gale, Karlach, Lae’zel, and Wyll- all collectively throwing or destroying the rocks holding you both captive in the ruined monastery.

You are sitting by the fire- laughing with Karlach and Wyll while Astarion turns over everything you said to him in that hellish situation.

Astarion can feel the panic begin to bubble in his chest again when he thinks about when he realized you were both trapped. He was worried for himself, but he had been even more terrified for you. Astarion had only wanted to keep you from dying- not bury you alive with him. Then he spiraled.

Admittedly, he had almost lost all of his wits- barely grasping to the idea that you were there with him and he was not in his tomb- or the kennels. It didn’t matter though- Astarion had felt his brain snap into a billion pieces and he remembers watching himself snarl at you- afraid he might hurt you, but too terrified of the situation to care.

You had responded to his reaction- not in fear, but understanding. You went back a few steps until he had sat down- head between his legs and a sobbing mess.

You came to him- asked permission before you healed his hands and sung a lullaby. Held him while he sobbed and promised him that Cazador would never touch him again or at the very least, Cazador won’t survive very long if he tries. You were there for him without anything in return- Astarion had been avoiding you for the last two weeks because of how confusing his feelings towards you are now.

You sat together and talked around the campfire every night, but he knows you have noticed him slip his facade back on and he doesn’t know whether to take it back off or not.

Astarion wants to have sex with you again, but he also doesn’t want you to only see him as sex which is confusing because that was sort of the point of the plan. Astarion would provide you with irreplaceable pleasure and you would provide him with protection- good sex can be hard to find so that’s the most valuable thing he has to offer. Except he doesn’t want it to be transactional anymore, Astarion wants it to be a way he connects with you intimately- a way to worship you. Astarion makes himself ill with the thought- what the hells is happening to him!? He has only slept with you once!

He also isn’t entirely sure if that icky feeling will ever go away from him- despite how much he enjoys being intimate with you. It’s different with you and it feels more like how old writers describe the activity- a collision of two souls combining to feel like one. Then he remembers what Cazador has made him for- casual sex, prostitution. Astarion wonders if you feel the same and maybe that’s why he’s over here in front of his tent instead of next to you at the campfire- agonizing over wanting to be near you, but also too scared to know if you also see him the way Cazador does.

Today gave him a strong, happy feeling that you don’t and maybe there is some hope there. Maybe Astarion can have more out of this life than he thought he could.

Astarion is being pulled towards you, lost in your orbit, abandoning his book and his spot in front of his tent altogether. Astarion is hopelessly needy for your presence right now.

Suddenly, he’s awkwardly standing behind you looking at the seat next to you- unsure of how to ask if he can sit. Karlach finally pipes up- looking at him with amusement and holds up her bottle of alcohol.

“Hey Fangs!” She says loudly, “come to join the party?”

You whip around and look up at him- your cheeks are flushed from the alcohol and you pat the spot next to you. He can’t help but smile as he sits. Karlach wiggles her eyebrows at you and you throw a roll at her- she cackles as the roll hits her and immediately crisps.

“That’s just a waste of food, Soldier,” Karlach says with exaggeration and a victorious laugh, “GALE! Our fearless leader is ruining your food!”

A distant scream is heard and gets louder as Gale comes storming over, exasperated, “EXCUSE ME!?”

You feign distress, “I know- how thoughtless of me! I just wanted to toast a nice roll to go with my wine.”

“I’ve been reduced to nothing but an oven,” Karlach fake cries and you keel over laughing.

Astarion is a bit jealous of Karlach to some extent. He knows there isn’t a romantic interest there, but if you weren’t with Astarion, you were sleeping in Karlach’s tent. Far apart (he had checked), but still. You often went hunting together, exploring together, and have lots of inside jokes. He is jealous of the emotional intimacy you guys share because he knows you share that with him too. He likes Karlach- so at least she isn’t the worst to share with.

Shadowheart and Lae’zel are very close to you as well, but Karlach is the one Astarion knows he is sharing your heart with. You love her as if she is your own kin.

“I wonder,” you say with a slur, “how hard would it be to kill Zariel or Mizora?”

Wyll rolls his eyes and laughs at your question, “why? Do you plan on storming the Hells and releasing us from our chains?”

Astarion wasn’t surprised when Wyll warmed up to you. You had been kind to him when he was changed into a fiend. You understood that his reasoning for taking the contract was personal- Wyll had briefly mentioned his family. Anyone- Astarion included- who tried to make a jab at Wyll was scolded by you. Now that he knows more about your family, he is less bitter about it and you also rip Will a new one (with much more anger, in fact) when he insults Astarion. When Wyll had made a jab at him and brought up eating rats- you had pushed Wyll into the river in the Owlbear cave and right into a disgusting bit of Owlbear waste floating on the bank. Wyll makes lots of jokes about Astarion, but he has never mentioned the rats again.

You shrug, “why not? I have favors to cash in from Obhark anyway- might as well put them to good use. It’s not like I’ll be doing anything other than working after all of this is over anyhow. The Hells might be an interesting vacation prospect.”

“Or you could leave the Nightmasks and we could all just travel together forever!” Karlach exclaims.

You shake your head at her sadly, “No one leaves the Nightmasks.”

“How come?” Wyll asks, “if you don’t mind sharing some?”

You raise an eyebrow at Wyll and take a long sip from your bottle of wine before passing it to Astarion. Astarion watches your every move- hangs on your every word.

“Well Mr.Monster Hunter,” you tease, “any time someone attempts to permanently leave the Nightmasks, Obhark- the Faceless- calls for a hunt with a boon- a favor that you can cash in at any point- provided it’s reasonable.”

“In what world do Master Vampires give out boons?” Astarion finds his voice again, bewildered.

“Good question, wish I could answer it for ya” you state with a shrug, “he’s had a hold on Westgate for centuries. Although I work for him- I’m not particularly fond of him. He’s horrible to his consort- my Ward. He beats her, rapes her, etc. Swears up, down, left, right, and sideways that he loves her and he buys her fancy things, but….”

You shake your head before continuing, “anyway- if you are the one who kills the individual- you win the boon. He always does that for the ‘suicide mission’ contracts. Obhark will offer them for other types of contracts- sometimes easy ones- if the need is urgent enough. Outside of the Deathbringers- the assassins and thieves rarely participate due to how dangerous these contracts usually are.”

“How many do you have, Soldier,” Karlach muses, “ten? Twenty?”

You pause and you look slightly uncomfortable, “I have 110.”

The silence is extremely thick in the air. All Astarion thinks about is that there was 110 times possibilities that he almost never got to meet you.

“Dahlia started making me take those contracts the minute I became a Deathbringer,” you look at your feet, “I have a 100 percent success rate- obviously.”

Karlach seems to understand that you don’t want to go further on that particular part so she interjects before Wyll can ask more questions.

“Do you have any friends or do you all hate each other’s guts?”

You snort, “I suppose you could call them ‘friends’. Everus is a human shade who steals my shit all the time, breaks into my home, and then wonders why I don’t have anything there. Then there’s Lucia who’s been with the guild for 500 years give or take. She trained me after I became a Deathbringer. Ghost is… the weirdest of them all. He is some sickly man who has a ring of regeneration, but he’ll go from one corpse to the next and just use those to fight. Draegan is a fucking asshole who refuses to leave me alone and likes to show off more than he likes living. I hate when we are assigned stuff together- it’s usually me fixing every fuck up he’s made while trying to drag his half alive body away and keep myself alive.

“There are others like Rinara who I just don’t fucking like on principle alone- too murder happy. I’m the oddball- I actually don’t enjoy killing people for fun. I’m,” you put the next part in quotes, “too ethical.”

“They sound like an…. Eclectic group.” Wyll says with his eyebrow raised, “and if you don’t like killing, why are you there?”

You simply shrug and look up at the stars.

“You don’t always get a choice- I feel like you know that as well as I do.”

Wyll nods in agreement and gives you an empathetic look. Astarion just takes you in- watching the fire flickering across your face- kissing every corner of your skin. He’s never been so jealous of a campfire- he wants to be the one memorizing your skin and tracing your features.

Karlach interjects, “I’m still held up on the whole- ‘House’ thing. You have a house!?”

You, for whatever reason, look incredibly uncomfortable with the question, but you smile at Karlach anyway.

“Yeah, just a townhome in Baldur’s Gate. It’s in the Upper City, but I’m never there so I usually just pay whatever and if I end up in Baldur’s gate I’ll stay there,” you shrug your shoulders, “I was going to sell it after my last contract but I was very rudely interrupted by Mindflayers.”

“Why would you sell it!?”

Karlach is bewildered and admittedly so is Astarion. Upper city Townhomes are beautiful- he used to wonder what it would be like to own one or even just walk into one. Astarion wonders if he’s ever walked by your town home while you were there- did your paths ever unknowingly cross?

“Um well,” you pick at your nails, one of them bleeding as you rip it off, “I bought it because my late girlfriend had really wanted to move there after I had a bit more freedom, but evidently, it didn't last very long. She was the artistic one in the relationship so I only have a mattress in the damn place. I thought buying it might bring some part of her back, but it was a stupid thought.”

This is the third time Astarion has encountered Tessa in a conversation with you. You barely bring her up and if he tries to lead you in that direction- you pivot and shut down. He knows what your last image of her was.

“I don’t think that’s stupid,” Karlach says softly, “what happened to her?”

“ I was allowed to be with her, but it came with extra curricular torture activities,” you clear your throat, Astarion winces at the defeat in your voice, “My ‘mentor’ had one of her assassin’s kill her. It was brutal. Dahlia gave me a fake contract in the same sewer system she lured Tessa to. I heard her screaming and I was the one who-“ you take a shaky breath, “found her. I- I don’t really care to talk about it much. It was halfway my fault- I should have been keeping a closer eye on her. She was trying to blackmail Dahlia so I didn’t have to join the Nightmasks because if you are unwilling- they’ll release you. It’s the only chance you have of getting out alive if someone tries to force you into it- the Nightmasks don’t want to have the reputation that you have to be forced to join. I was just too terrified of Dahlia to say anything so Tessa took matters into her own hands and well, she’s dead so how well did that really turn out- truly?”

You try to laugh it off and Astarion watches one stray tear roll down your face as you take another swig from the bottle. In what world could that be your fault? Astarion doesn’t blame Tessa for trying- if he was in her shoes, he would have probably ended up doing the same thing. Especially knowing how cruel Dahlia is.

“I met her close to the end of my first year living with Dahlia,” you smile softly to yourself, “she worked in her family's local Alchemy shop that Dahlia would send me to while training at a local Warlock guild. I was horrifically smitten and she knew it too. She used to hit on me every time and I would just grab my stuff- turn around and race out of the shop,” your laugh is melancholic, “then she found me bleeding out in an alleyway one time and she somehow was able to get me into her dorm, took care of me, and when I woke up the next morning- I panicked and left.

“I felt a bit bad- Dahlia was not thrilled so I disappeared for a few days,” you say slowly, Astarion knows what probably happened during those three days, “then when I was sent back to the Alchemy shop a week later- I brought this giant bundle of wildflowers. I grabbed every one I could find that even remotely reminded me of her and I don’t know? I guess it just evolved? She always wanted to move to Baldur’s Gate- she’d talk about how beautiful our townhome would be and she had all these plans. I could have given a shit less as long as she was there.”

“Look at you, Soldier!” Karlach exclaims, “how romantic of you! First flowers and then a whole ass townhome? I wish I had met you a few years prior to Gortash selling me off!”

“Oh shut your mouth, it’s not like it was a big deal,” You are bright, bright red and you scoff, “I had just overheard her complain to her sister that all the ‘suitors’ brought her ‘normal’ flowers and she felt like it was lazy. I merely went for a stroll- it wasn’t that hard so I don’t know why they never got the hint. She wasn’t necessarily quiet about it, but she also told me later she had been so loud about it because she was hoping I might listen and do something with that information.”

You are shaking your head and smiling in spite of yourself. He is going to have to add ‘Romantic’ and ‘Thoughtful’ to the list of personality traits you harbor. Astarion is trying to ignore his thoughts wondering which flowers would remind you of him.

“At any rate-“ Wyll says, “at least you now have a few reasons to visit Baldur’s Gate more often now?”

You are practically beaming, “this is true!”

You sigh and look up at the stars with a sad smile, “who knows- maybe I’ll change my mind. There is like four bedrooms so-“

“CAN I MOVE IN WITH YOU!?” Karlach bursts, “if I don’t, ya know, combust.”

You smile brightly at the question, “you can, but I can’t promise Everus won’t try to steal your shit. You are welcome to light him on fire if he does. Fucking asshole keeps stealing my produce at the compound- haven’t caught him yet, but when I do it’s game over for him.”

It’s the most bizarre complaint to have if you live amongst a group of feared Assassins, thieves, and vampire generals. Astarion catches how Wyll looks over at Karlach with hope and smiles- appearing to be thrilled that she asked you to let her stay with you in Baldur’s Gate. Wyll is smitten and from the look on your face when you look between the two of them- you see it too. Karlach glances at Wyll and looks at you shyly.

Adorable, Astarion thinks sarcastically, they’ll be a real joy to live with when this is all over.

He freezes. What did he just think?

Astarion doesn’t know why he’s automatically assuming you’ll be gracious enough to let him live with you when this is all said and done. Why is he already imagining exactly how he would decorate the damn place? You had bought the apartment 5 years prior to him to resurrect the memory of a dead ex-girlfriend and he’s more than likely a fleeting fancy until you realize someone like (and he hates to admit it) Gale or Shadowheart would be a more appropriate choice of long term partner than him. Astarion has managed to inflate and then immediately deflate himself- hope is a fickle thing.

Wyll and Karlach get up, saying they need to go clean their armor, leaving the two of you sitting in silence. Astarion feels like he’s about to start unraveling at the seams being with you alone- it’s like he wants to weave himself into your bones so that he never has to know what it feels like to be without you again.

Today has been… a bit eye opening for him and he is trying to resist the urge to push you away despite how freaked out he feels about his very very strong feelings of adoration for you. Astarion does have a plan to execute (or so he keeps telling himself) and he’s about 2 weeks behind.

“You could live with me too you know,” you say in a whisper, “ I get plenty of contracts in lots of places that make a hefty amount of coin. Silverymoon, St. Carwell’s Vale- they have a pirate cove nearby and they are very fun to drink with or so I’ve been told, there’s the merchants in Melavunt on the Moonsea, Menzoberranzan…”

You look at him coyly, he wants to kiss the look of fear and anticipation of rejection off your face.

“I guess what I’m saying is that I would split the money with you and you could travel the world without any real obligation. With me? If you wanted! That is… or by yourself. I mean the Nightmasks could always use more talented Thieves… wouldn’t be my first recommendation though.”

“Darling, I would love nothing more than to steal from every person in Westgate with you,” Astarion smiles glumly, “but I don’t know how good of a travel companion I’ll be if we can’t be out during the day.”

“I’m not worried about that,” you state matter of factly, “you forget that I’m an excellent assassin and I also happen to know the location for a Ring of the Sunwalker. I have more than enough ‘boons’ to try to haggle for it or at least commission the creation of a new one. If that doesn’t work- I have too much money in the bank anyhow and some favors in different cities.”

Astarion is trying not to gape at you. You’ve just offered him an opportunity to travel around the world, make money, a place to live, and a way to be in the sun when this is all over. Not to mention- you. You are extending him an invitation to remain by your side.

“You don’t have to answer right now,” you say quietly, rubbing your arm awkwardly, “either way, I’m still going to get that ring for you. It’s not right that we are basically going to save the world and you can’t even keep the whole walking in the sun thing.”

“Why? I-“ he starts, “I don’t deserve any of this. What you are offering me is… an enormous debt that I could never repay.”

“You wouldn’t have to repay me and you do deserve it. You deserve the world, Astarion,” you swallow thickly before you look him in the eyes, “I would just be happy to have you there. I enjoy fighting with you and spending time with you- I feel safe for the first time in a long time…And besides, I need someone to rough up some pirates with. I’ve been itching to go, but I wouldn’t even know how to fit in.”

Astarion smiles widely and flashes you a flirtatious look,” I don’t know if you heard, Darling, but I’m an incredibly charismatic rogue with a love for pickpocketing.”

He leans in closer until his lips are barely touching yours- he relishes in the way your breath catches. Astarion basks in what your future together would look like and he lets himself hope for the first time in a long time. Every part of his being wants him to run and not trust you, but your eyes won’t let him go.

“And you,” he breathes, “are the most bewitching individual I have ever met with an incredible prowess for killing. I think we’ll fit right in.”

“I suppose you are right,” you whisper, lips hovering over his, “how silly of me to assume we would need help fitting in.”

“Truly a mistake on your part, Darling.”

“Quite the blunder indeed.”

Astarion presses his lips against yours, gently tangling his hands in your hair to pull you closer- making it more intense and needy. The fire doesn’t begin to compare to the way his body feels when he is with you like this. He doesn’t know how your lips move in sync with his as if the two of you have been exchanging kisses with each other your entire lives.

Time doesn’t feel like it exists right now and that scares him. He feels like he could melt into you and continue to just have you this way for the rest of his immortal li-

“ASTARION AND ROWAN- SITTING IN A TREE!K— I-!”

Nevermind- moment ruined.

“KARLACH!!!!!”

You are up and sprinting after her at a breathtaking speed- a new bread roll in your hand. Karlach is running away with her cackle being carried in the wind.

The entire rest of the camp is staring at Astarion like he’s grown an extra head in the last two seconds. He smiles and waves awkwardly, “Uh hello.”

What in the damn hells is happening? When did he become some shy, smitten school boy!?

“I knew it!” Halsin exclaims with a belly laugh, “ha! The eyes can never truly hide what the soul desires!”

Oh Gods- he might have made a mistake not asking you to just go with him to his tent. Is this how those gross couples in Baldur’s Gate end up in these situations? You just get lost in the fucking moment and the whole world gets to see it?

Lae’zel scoffs, “tsk, if this is going to become a thing- keep your bizarre mating rituals inside your tent.”

Astarion has to fight hard to shove the embarrassment down and puts on his suave facade.

“Oh please, Lae’zel,” Astarion drawls, leaning back on the heels of his hand, “ if you are jealous of me, just say so.”

Lae’zel throws the sword she’s sharpening to the ground and storms off in the opposite direction of Astarion. Maybe he hit the nail on the head a little too hard.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You, Shadowheart, Lae’zel and Karlach are laying in Karlach’s tent- giggly, drunk, and stupid (Lae’zel isn’t giggly or stupid, but she certainly isn’t sober). You had come back to camp and Shadowheart told you that Astarion had run off looking embarrassed after you left. Apparently Lae’zel and Halsin had given him a hard time.

“Tsk, if the spawn cannot be proud of his affections for you then he does not deserve it at all.”

You are burning red, “he does not have ‘affections’ for me Lae’zel!”

“Well whatever he is feeling,” Shadowheart quips, “it’s pretty damn close. He looks at you like you are some kind of walking Goddess in physical form.”

“You guys need to stop,” you pretend to be serious, but you are so giddy at the idea of him being as smitten with you as you are him. Astarion is beautiful in every way- even when he is being a pill.

“No way Soldier,” Karlach clicks her tongue, “I thought I might explode watching the way he kissed you. I wanted to switch places with you even!”

It was a beautiful kiss. You want more time doing that- you don’t care if it goes further nor do you need it to- the feeling of his lips on yours is enough.

“Have you guys…” Shadowheart flashes you a mischievous smile, “had sex yet?”

Your reaction must have been enough because Karlach cheers and Shadowheart looks slightly crestfallen.

“I told you Shadowheart!”

“I’m in shock! I thought I knew them better than that,” Shadowheart sighs, “but you must tell us- what was it like? How was it compared to previous experiences?”

You don’t want to tell Shadowheart that this was your first time having consensual intercourse. You and Tessa had begun fooling around towards the end, but it was cut short before it could go further.

“He was very gentle,” you whisper in embarrassment and dream like bliss, “and caring. It was… amazing.”

Karlach and Shadowheart are chattering excitedly, talking about all the cute underwear you are going to need to buy in Baldur’s Gate. Lae’zel continues to scoff- she doesn’t understand the reasoning behind spending so much money on fabric when the ‘Spawn’ will probably tear them off anyway. You have to redirect yourself from the thought- you do not need to be turned on right now.

Besides- you are still entirely unsure if he is even in the same headspace as you. Shadowheart did inform you when you first came into camp that Astarion is a flirt and that they had had a very wonderful make out session together the first night of camp. Shadowheart had disliked you for a bit when Astarion’s attentions turned elsewhere, but the whole thing had disappeared. Well until now.

“He really is an incredible kisser,” Shadowheart reminisces, “with everything his hands can do over clothing- Shar help me- I can’t even imagine how it would feel to have him touch you naked. I’ve been with men like him a few times- it can get incredibly kinky and never boring. It is a shame that he and I didn’t mesh as well to begin with. Maybe I should try again- I mean who knows, it would give us something fun to share.”

“He’s not a thing to share, Shadowheart,” you say tersely, “and I wouldn’t be open to that, ever.”

Shadowheart’s smile falters for a moment. You realize that she had expected you to be open to the idea.

“He might and I’ll be here. Men like him get bored of the same old thing eventually,” Shadowheart waves her hand around non-chalantly.

Karlach notices you wince and she holds your hand in hers- giving it a gentle squeeze before letting it go. Shadowheart has been in a particularly foul mood since Astarion kissed you earlier in the day. Ever since, she’s been piss drunk and pointing out everything you have ever told her you were insecure about. You are grateful you didn’t tell her Astarion was your first.

You know Shadowheart is drunk, but it still worries you. Astarion is not an object to share, he is a person, but you also know that Shadowheart is beautiful and well versed in sex.

Astarion is also beautiful and well versed in sex.

You are not.

Karlach knows that the Shadowheart thing is somewhat of a sore spot- not because you wouldn’t be happy for them, but because she is so much more- well everything- than you could ever dream to be.

She is also brilliant to look at with her raven hair and blue eyes. Smart, tough, and fluid- cool girl. There isn’t a single scar anywhere but on her cheek and she doesn’t even remember her past so he wouldn’t have to be so accommodating.

I can see you going there, Soldier. She’s just drunk and jealous.

You and Karlach had ultimately come to the conclusion the third week into this journey that Astarion’s flirting towards you was genuine and that he did not seem to have eyes for Shadowheart. Karlach insisted that you spy on their interactions (there hadn’t been a single one and it was a waste of a rest day). You always wonder though when she makes comments like this- Karlach and Astarion being the only two to know you were a virgin up until 2 weeks ago.

“Soldier and I are going to go get more beverages,” Karlach announces, “we shall be back with the goods!”

You follow Karlach out of the tent and she grabs a third of a bottle of whiskey out of her bag- sitting next to the campfire and taking a sip. She pats the spot next to her and she offers you the Whiskey. You take a massive sip- trying to avoid becoming emotional over your frustration and self-loathing.

“I really like him,” you whisper.

“I know Soldier,” Karlach says empathetically, “Shadowheart doesn’t always seem to read the room very well. She is right though- he does watch you flutter about camp and stare at you as if you are a Goddess to be worshipped.”

You roll your eyes at her, “first of all, I don’t ‘flutter’ about anywhere. Second- she has history with him, barely, but enough for her to be pissed. Third- the man has literally avoided being alone with me for the last two weeks!”

Karlach snorts, “oh please. You want to know why he’s avoiding you? From quite literally everyone else’s perspective in camp.”

“Fine,” you huff.

Karlach takes another big swig from her whiskey and passes it back to you.

“Astarion isn’t a feelings guy- he’s a total flirt and to some extent, not overly trustworthy,” Karlach says, “but today? I had tried to hold him back when he went running to get to you. I didn’t know he knew misty step, but it didn't matter- the way he screamed your name when we all saw you start to fall was haunting. I think his feelings for you are just too… overwhelming and confusing for him to navigate. He refuses to leave your side- no matter how pissed off he may be. Hells- that little lover’s quarrel you had at camp that one day looked like it derailed him entirely. Three whole days he was constantly in the background trying to make sure you were safe. I was shocked you didn’t notice- not even once.

“ You are also the only one in camp he actually keeps his word to or does things for and it’s not with a hidden meaning either- I mean you had to have noticed that almost anything you even so much as mention needing you suddenly have. At first all the studying seemed methodical, but it’s changed.”

“I didn’t realize that’s who was getting or doing that stuff,” you say with relief and realization. You thought you were going crazy- did you always have this stuff? Did all of your stuff always have a lack of holes?

“To be fair, I just figured it out because we were stuck at camp together the other day. He must have heard me chastising you for your sleeping accommodations because before I know it- he’s in my tent, telling me not to say anything- embarrassed mind you, and stitched up all the holes in that Gods awful bed roll of yours,” Karlach chuckles to herself, “He wants you just as much as you want him.”

You stare at her as you try to believe her words. You want to believe them, but you are far too scared to. You have been avoiding people- blaming it on Dahlia despite being free of her for almost a year. You know it’s because you don’t know if you are good enough.

Karlach gets up and yanks you up onto your feet and out of your mind- earning a yelp from you from the contact. She lets go of you and offers a sheepish smile.

“Now go, my short but mighty friend,” Karlach says with bravado, handing you the bottle of whiskey, “do not be without any further!”

You leave the campfire (giving Karlach a brief fist bump) and walk to the opposite side of the camp where Astarion’s tent is. Just as you are about to knock on the wooden post, he opens his flap with a knife in hand that he is inspecting. Astarion looks surprised to see you.

Astarion recovers his composure, “hello, Darling! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Oh um- I,” you stammer and ultimately don’t know what to say, “I didn’t realize you were leaving- I can go and-“

“No- stay!” Astarion says quickly, grabbing your wrist as you go to turn around, “I was just going to sit by the fire anyway.”

Where Karlach and I are were? You fight the smile threatening to form on your lips, Convenient timing.

You look at him shyly, “well we could still go sit by the campfire if you want?”

“After today’s events?” Astarion scowls playfully, taking your hand, “I would much rather be able to focus all my attentions on you and not everyone gawking.”

Before you can say anything, Astarion pulls you into his tent and closes the flap. Astarion is fidgeting with his blanket and bedroll before gently guiding you to lay down on them. He looks at you with an awkward, anxious smile gracing his lips. You suppress the giggle that threatens to escape your lips- you are happy that he seems just as nervous as you are.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Astarion lays down next to you and you cautiously curl yourself into his side with your head on his chest- your left arm and leg draped across him as your head lays where his quiet heart lies. Your happy sigh fills him with joy. Astarion traces circles on your back- enjoying the simplicity of the moment.

Astarion waits for you to pull at his clothes, seduce him, or at the very least ask him to fuck you. You don’t though. You lay there, unmoving and content. Weird.

“So- four whole bedrooms?” Astarion ponders out loud, “and you only have a mattress?”

You grumble, “I knew that was going to be brought up.”

“Darling, it’s a town home in the upper city and you only have a mattress! Of course it was going to be brought up!”

“It was the only one for sale- there wasn’t anything small anywhere. I checked at least a half a dozen times,” you grimace, “but I needed somewhere and I didn’t want to set up a permanent residence in Westgate so I just bought the damn place.”

“Where were you planning on moving?” Astarion inquires, “since you were visiting with the intentions of selling it?”

“Honestly? I wasn’t sure,” you say dreamily, “I was thinking of Neverwinter, Iceland Dales, Silverymoon, Waterdeep, Menzoberranzan, or maybe a short stint in Candlekeep. I can’t read common, but I would love to be able to explore their library. I’m sure they have something in Undercommon that I can read.”

“Those are all wildly different locations and climates, my Dear,” he says teasingly while placing a kiss on top of your head without thinking.

You shrug, “I’m just very complex.”

“And apparently travel a lot.”

“I try not to make it a habit of staying in the same place too long. Eventually the loneliness in a familiar place loses its novelty,” you sigh, “I just do whatever work is around the area until I get a contract. Typically I get up and leave after that then start the process over somewhere else.”

“What kind of work in the area?” Astarion says while absentmindedly untangling your hair with his lithe fingers.

“Farm work, guard duty, hunting,” you hmmm as you think, “head hunting, cleaning and bartending depending on if I am able to get a job at a local inn.”

Astarion busts up laughing at the idea of you of all people being a bartender. You hate being perceived- let alone talked to by strangers. You would have easily been Cazador’s worst nightmare.

“What’s so funny!?” You exclaim, keeping your lips in a serious line.

“Oh nothing, Darling,” Astarion quips, “I can’t even begin to imagine you as a bartender.”

You prop yourself up to look at him- you are frowning.

“How so?”

“Darling,” he says snickering, “you looked like you were going to have a homicidal meltdown when that man at the Grove ‘looked at you funny’. You quite literally scared the piss out of him.”

“Because he looked at me funny! Lae’zel agreed.”

“Oh yes,” Astarion says while rolling his eyes, “because Lae’zel is the most reliable judge of social situations.”

“I happen to think she’s the best- I mean you saw how well the crèche went today, right?”

“Sometimes I forget that narrowly escaping death is your definition of ‘well’.”

You shrug, sitting up briefly to take a sip out of the open bottle of whiskey.

“I have relatively low standards when it comes to fighting Githyanki.”

“Ah,” he huffs in acknowledgement, “I forgot- Whalebone Spice blood. I suppose they weren’t necessarily the most attractive creatures to begin with, but to taste like that? How embarrassing.”

You are midswig of alcohol when you begin to snort from laughter and proceed to choke so hard on the whiskey that some of it sprays from your mouth and onto Astarion’s shirt. You are absolutely mortified and you cover your face with your hands, slowly getting up. Astarion doesn’t know whether to be upset or not, but he doesn’t feel like upset is the most accurate term for what he is feeling.

Your embarrassment is way too adorable. Painfully adorable and Astarion would be a fool not to take advantage of the moment.

“Well, on that note,” you keep your face covered, “I should be goi-“

“Oh no you don’t,” Astarion says teasingly, pulling your hands away from your face, “you owe me for this one.”

The mischievous glint in his eye tells you he is up to absolutely no good.

“Oh? And what do you feel I owe you?”

“Hmmmm, well Darling,” Astarion says, leaning in to whisper in your ear, “help cleaning off would be greatly appreciated.”

Your eyes go wide and Astarion playfully pulls your bottom lip between his teeth. A beautiful, whimpering moan escapes your lips and he smiles cheekily. He cherishes the moments when he can make you speechless instead of the other way around.

“Okay,” you say breathily.

“Okay?” Astarion teases, “I’ve never had a more enthusiastic lover.”

Astarion has to fight the smile when you grow an even darker shade of red at the title.

*smut starts here*

“I-I’m sorry-“ you say, looking down at your feet and rubbing your arm shyly, “I guess I’m not entirely sure what ‘helping’ you clean up entails soooo…”

“Well we have established that you do know how sex works, Darling,” Astarion says with a smirk, “but I suppose I could show you again…”

*smut starts here*

Astarion’s fingers dance along the hem of your shirt- pulling it off you in one swift movement. Astarion kisses the junction between your shoulder and your neck, taking a quick nip at the skin before pulling away.

“Typically,” he whispers, “you want to start with the offending articles of clothing- which for you, my Sweet- is anything that prevents me from seeing that beautiful body of yours.”

“Ast-“

“Ah,” Astarion cups your jaw with one of his hands and puts his thumb in your mouth, pressing down on your tongue, “I need you to be quiet, Darling. I’m trying to focus- you do want to learn, don’t you?”

You nod eagerly and he rewards you by pushing your thighs apart with his leg before rubbing it against your clothed heat. Your heart galloping and the smell of your arousal is making Astarion feel like he may go into a frenzy if he doesn’t get to have you soon.

He pushes the gross feelings down- hard- trying to prevent dissociation or at least obvious dissociation.

You wouldn’t go through with it if he didn’t seem to be having a good time and Astarion isn’t ready to have the, “surprise! I’m a prostitute against my own free will and I’ve been using my craft to make you like me, but now I’m horribly confused!” Conversation.

Astarion is snapped out of his thoughts when he feels your tongue glide along the ridge of his thumb before you nick his thumb with one of your canines. Your tongue flicks out to lap at the pin prick of a wound, but it must have been enough because your pupils are blown even wider now with lust and need. Astarion didn’t expect such a simple little action to rile him up so much, but he’s hardly done anything to you and his cock is straining against his pants.

“Cheeky pup,” Astarion praises, “you are full of surprises aren’t you?”

Astarion practically rips your pants off, taking his thumb out of your mouth, but making a point of drawing more blood- soaking in your wanting moans as his blood coats your tongue- as he teases your folds through your underwear before slowly slipping his fingers in between your legs while rubbing your clit with his thumb. Astarion’s plan to continue teasing you quickly dissolves when he adds a second finger, you begin to writhe and beg for him to take you underneath him. Astarion has you right where he wants you and yet he does not feel like he’s the one in control in this situation. You are like an addiction he can’t kick and he is excited to actually be excited about sex for once.

You are helping him hastily and messily remove his clothes- Astarion is caught up in the desperation to be inside you that he flips you onto your stomach- not thinking. You stiffen underneath him with a sharp breath and he snaps out of whatever lustful haze he is in.

It had been too aggressive of a movement- far too similar to your trauma.

“I’m so sorry,” he says quickly, turning you back over and you are looking up at him with fear in your eyes.

His heart shatters- Astarion wants you to feel safe with him and he just threw your trust away. He is so nervous as he takes in your facial expressions.

“I- it’s okay,” you say, trying to smile through the panic, “I just wasn’t expecting it was all. I trust you- I want to try.”

Astarion searches your eyes- he feels his brows furrowing and his face being consumed with the worry he is feeling.

“Are you sure?” He whispers, stroking your cheek and leaving soft kisses along your jaw, “we can do whatever you want, Darling. It’s just a privilege to be with you.”

It’s true- Astarion knows deep down that if he had met you in Baldur’s Gate that he would have begrudgingly taken you back to Cazador to become his meal. He is glad that is not the context you met each other in.

“I’m sure Star,” you gently tangle your hands behind his neck, you sigh into his shoulder,“I trust you and I know you won’t hurt me.”

Astarion works his way up until he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. When the hell did he become an affectionate lover?

“Thank you, Darling,” Astarion says breathily, “you can’t even begin to imagine how much that means to me.”

You allow him to help you flip back over- still wet and wanting from the earlier activities. Astarion positions you in front of the mirror on the opposite side of his tent- he’s not as hard as he was prior to the incident, but the look on your face changes that entirely as he slowly presses inside you.

Pure, carnal desire and pleasure- he groans at how your walls clench around him. Your hands are digging into the fabric of his bed roll and you are practically panting with lust as you adjust to him- yelping blissfully when he pulls back and snaps his hips into yours. Astarion wishes he could actually watch himself doing this to you, but he’s still thrilled by all of your reactions- each one earning a harder, faster thrust from Astarion each time.

You are crying out in pleasure- fighting to not collapse. You are looking at where he would be in the mirror and Gods is he grateful you are. Astarion feels your legs violently shaking as you release around him- your eyes fluttering as you ride out your orgasm. He gently pulls you flush against him by your hair, moving his left arm between the junction of your breasts to hold you in place, and bares you to himself in the mirror.

Your breasts are perfect- nipples hard and sensitive from the cool night air and arousal. Your orgasm is dripping between your legs- where you are taking him so well. You look absolutely euphoric and perfect this way. He traces the lines of your scars up to your breasts- pinching the swollen nubs until you are a whimpering mess clenching around him again. You are painted in your own nectar again- the growing waterfall between your legs causing a possessive growl to leave Astarion’s throat as he nips at your neck.

Astarion is the only one who can make you feel this way and he wants to make sure you never forget it.

“Gods you are a work of art,” he says, moving his hand that was playing with your breasts to rub your swollen, sensitive clit and he snaps up into you. The whimper that leaves your lips is so pitifully blissed out that Astarion loses his composure- thrusting up into you sloppily as he begins coming into you without any warning, grunting through his arousal as he praises you.

*smut ends here*

“You were so good for me, Little Love,” Astarion whispers into your ear, “but I definitely don’t think I am any cleaner than I was before.”

“And who’s fault is that?” You retort between heavy breaths.

Astarion laughs and then rolls you both onto your sides. Astarion wraps himself around you, pushing his nose into your hair and inhaling your scent- the already intoxicating aroma is even sweeter with the scent of you and him mixed together between your legs. Astarion glides his fingers between your legs and licks the combination off his fingers- humming in delight. He can feel the heat crawl up the back of your neck.

I can’t believe I almost lost this today, Astarion thinks, trying to just be in the moment with the warmth you make him feel, but there is also guilt, shame, and self- loathing. It makes him feel heavy- left to wonder if he will always feel this way despite enjoying himself with you. Would you be okay with that? Waiting for him to be okay? Astarion didn’t, however, realize that his “thought” was actually spoken out loud.

“Lost what today?”

Astarion stiffens against you- embarrassed more than anything. Astarion just hides his face in your hair and chuckles breathily.

“Oh only the first real companion I’ve had in a very long time,” he tries to brush it off, chuckles, “our late night trysts- sex included or not- are rather pleasurable. I think I’d go insane if I was stuck with everyone else here on my own.”

You are silent and what he knows is seconds, feels like hours before you finally speak again.

“Is that why you followed me earlier today?”

That is a good question. Why did Astarion follow you when you went to blow up the crèche?

You had all agreed after hastily retrieving the Blood of Lathander that blowing up the building is the best chance you and your companions had at getting out of there alive with no Githyanki to worry about. You volunteered to power up the machine.

Astarion didn’t tell you how much he despised the plan- that hadn’t gone well for him last time and he really would prefer to not upset you- not that you wouldn’t be kind to him, he just wasn’t sure if he would be able to be kind to you regarding your life being on the line.

Astarion has noticed you both seem to have very different opinions on the value of your life, but he tried to keep his thoughts to himself. Anyway, it wasn’t like you weren’t fast enough to outrun a small blast.

Karlach, Lae’zel, and Astarion watched as the monastery exploded and you sprinted faster than Astarion had ever seen anyone sprint before.

The blast was massive- the foundation of the Monastery falling apart at an alarmingly fast rate. The noise was deafening. This was far more powerful than any of you anticipated and he feels the pit in his stomach grow while watching you.

Then Astarion saw that the floor underneath your feet was going to give and you began to dip out of eye sight- Karlach and Lae’zel had the same realization he did- you are about to die underneath all of that rubble.

He remembers Karlach trying to hold him back- telling him you wouldn’t want him to go and just wait until one of you can afford Withers. Astarion didn’t want to have to wait or be without you for however long that would be.

The way his throat hurt screaming for you. Astarion had cast misty steps without much forethought involved and just barely got to you in time. He hadn’t meant to tackle you, but you being mad at him is the least of his concerns. He had only had one goal and it was for you to get out of there alive- it scared him how easily he had been a second thought to himself.

He’s never been more afraid for another person or to lose said person in his 239 years of living (that he can remember)- up until you. Astarion would have hated himself for the rest of eternity if something terrible had happened to you and he didn’t even try to save you.

“I-,” Astarion clears his throat, “I don’t know Darling. We were just watching the tower collapse and I saw that the foundation underneath you was going to give…

“I cast misty steps without even really thinking about it. I’m still struggling to believe it myself… I’ve never really thought about anyone else’s safety before.”

Astarion tries to feel brave despite his vulnerability- he supposes he’ll know if he is just sex to you or not.

You turn around to face him, running your fingers through his hair as he pulls you into him- your faces mere inches apart.

You are reading him and Astarion avoids your gaze. He doesn’t want you to see how intensely his feelings are starting to change, but he also doesn’t want to slip his facade back on- he relaxes when you lean your forehead against his.

“Thank you, Astarion,” you whisper his name like a silent prayer.

“Of course, Little Love,” he releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and then inhales slowly.

You smell like lavender, clary sage, and pine- the three most random things have quickly become his favorite combination of scents. He wanted to bottle up the smell so he never has to be without.

Astarion considers your earlier proposition of traveling together after this is all over. It’s been almost 2 months of you knowing one another and it’s been a wonderful 2 months of fun- minus the being hunted by psychotic vampires and could turn into tentacled creatures at any moment.

He hasn’t dared to think about your offer until just now. Astarion knows that you will inevitably end things with him before the end of this journey when you realize he has little to no worth outside of pleasure, but Gods can’t he dream about a world where that never happens? Even if only for a little while?

“I think Candlekeep would be a first good spot for us to go- if we survive this whole tadpole thing,” Astarion says absentmindedly, “I do love a good book.”

“Oh I know,” you say while wiggling your eyebrows at him, “why do you think I even mentioned it?”

“Darling,” Astarion gasps, “how dare you exploit my weakness for literature!”

“I’m despicable, I know,” you put the back of your hand to your forehead, “my plan was to manipulate you into traveling with me the entire time. All I needed to do was find something that may interest you.”

“I didn’t realize I was so easy to please.”

“I wouldn’t say that- you have very reasonable and accessible hobbies,” you say slowly, “you are just difficult to keep up with sometimes.”

“Whatever do you mean, my Dear?” Astarion says trying to hide the nervous edge that threatens to lace his voice.

You look at him with the same amount of nerves he is feeling on the inside. You are cautious and guarded now- like you were when he first met you.

“Um well- Shadowheart told me that you guys um,” you shift uncomfortably, “almost started a thing before I joined camp.”

Wonderful, how thoughtful of her.

“…it was that first day when we were setting up the tents. She mentioned that you guys made out with a lot of heavy petting. Shadowheart had this whole idea of making you beg for it.”

Oh really? Astarion thinks bitterly.

“ She was actually a little bit pissed when you kind of stopped regarding her completely. She’s moved on now, well I hope or maybe she hasn’t because she brought it up again tonight that it’s a bummer you didn’t mesh… and she started talking about being with ‘men like you’ and how you prefer someone who is exciting in bed…”

Oh I’m going to kill that cleric, Astarion thinks, she will not be derailing my plan nor this- whatever this is.

It had barely been anything- Shadowheart had approached him, he couldn’t tell her no, she got him hard, and by the time he was nicely dissociated- she had pushed herself off of him saying he needed to earn it.

Then he met you the next day and having to force himself to be with Shadowheart was quickly thrown out the window.

Astarion had been grateful if he was honest with himself. Beyond grateful, actually. Astarion can’t imagine being with Shadowheart when he has you- someone who respects him and seems to enjoy his company outside of sex- enough to offer your company before and after at least.

Your voice is a sad whisper now, “and well- she mentioned maybe asking you to also… be with her in this way.”

Oh he is going to go and rip that Cleric to pieces.

“I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that and she basically told me it was a pity I wasn’t- men ‘like you’ eventually get bored.”

You avoid his gaze, looking at where your left hand is settled on his shoulder, “I guess I was wondering if that is something I should be prepared for or if you are interested in being with her in that way. I honestly don’t know if I could still be with you- it would maybe hurt too much, but I understand. She’s beautiful, sexual, smart-“

“And yet she isn’t you,” Astarion says harsher than he intended. You look at him vulnerably and he kisses you deeply before continuing- surprising himself with how romantic he is being.

“Shadowheart did approach me on the third night of camp- right before you joined our group,” Astarion says with resentment, “I- Cazador used to have me go hunt for the most beautiful souls in Baldur’s Gate so that he could feed.

“I haven’t been given the luxury of saying ‘no’ for the last 200 years- not that she would have known that, but I… was barely there by the time she decided to leave. We had only been kissing and it all felt… mechanical. Rehearsed,” he is searching your eyes for any signs of disgust, but all he sees is understanding and encouragement to continue, “I was honestly grateful she walked off. I had tried to flirt back the next day- thinking it would be better for me to make an ally than an enemy. I wouldn’t be able to say no to her advances anyway- I figured I would just embrace it.

“Then I met you- ethereal, eccentric, dangerous, wonderful you,” he whispers as if the moon might hear how valuable you are and take you away, “and I don’t think I’ve looked at another soul ever since. You seem to see me- hear me. You are the only person to respect my boundaries- even when I am not respecting my own.

“Not a day goes by where I don’t enjoy your company- even on our rest days when everyone else is being a pill. You are the first person I’ve ever willingly propositioned as well- something I never thought I’d be able to do.”

Astarion tries to remind himself that this is all part of his act- he’s failing miserably. He really went and fucked up his own plan over choosing the wrong person. Maybe Shadowheart would have been the better choice for the sake of his sanity and his emotions. At least he knew what Shadowheart wanted. Your expression is unreadable and Astarion begins to feel anxious.

“But if you would like to include Shadowheart- I could tr-,” he begins slowly.

“NO!” You shout and cause both of you to jump, “No, Astarion. I definitely don’t want to include Shadowheart. I would like to keep our recreational activities and whatever we are doing to just us. I suppose I was just insecure because I have basically no sexual experience and evidently you do and she does and- nevermind! It was a dumb thought. “I want you to know- I don’t think less of you for everything with Cazador,” you say reassuringly, “you are not broken or a thing to be used. I couldn’t imagine enduring that kind of suffering for 200 years and Gods I hate that wretched man even more!!! But thank you for sharing all of that with me. It couldn’t have been easy so thank you for letting me get to know you more. I certainly cannot wait to parade Cazador’s head around on a stick with you through Baldur’s Gate.”

He lets out a choked laugh at your statement. Astarion holds you closer for a moment- trying to keep you from seeing his tears. You don’t look upon him with pity- every terrible story he tells you is regarded as what it is and you make him feel empowered to talk about these things. You don’t see Astarion as broken- you see him as brave and strong.

“Maybe a little dumb,” he teases, before looking at you softly, “but can I ask- does that mean you are only looking at me too? Or should I be anticipating a conversation about Halsin in the future?”

Astarion is asking in a joking tone, but he is scared to hear your answer. Halsin is the newest member in your weird little camp and he definitely has his eyes on you.

Astarion is positive that, whatever souls are made of- yours and his are the same. You understand him on an entirely different level and he is almost positive he would do anything to convince you to stay with him.

Astarion began talking to you so you would worship him and yet, here he is, worshiping you- as terrifying as that is.

You kiss him and Astarion has never felt more wanted- needed in his whole life. Your lips are soft and necessitous against his. Gently coaxing soft moans from his mouth. You stop to look at him- your face serious.

“I don’t want anyone else,” you say, “asking that was definitely a little dumb.”

Astarion meets you halfway, kissing you over and over again until you are entangled in each other- mind, body, and soul.

That night, for the first time ever, Astarion makes love.

[tigressaofkanjis]

Transformers: Lost World - All Leaders + Their Weaknesses

Classes: 

Miner – Can dig in the ground for deep planted materials and break Energon 

Farm Skill – Digs soil and can overturn used spots. Can craft and break down materials.

Gatherer – Can hold excess supplies and materials and can retrieve items for you out in the field 

Farm Skill – Taking ready crops and organizing them, feeding animals 

Infiltrator – Can cut down trees, vines, and ice for materials or to unblock paths. Can climb cliffs and to higher areas. 

Farm Skill - Tidying up the farm, animal stalls and the Transformer stables, keeping the area and its inhabitants mess-free and happy, and can also plant seeds.  The more Transformers and animals you have, the easier it is for your farm to become disheveled, and all your Companions will grow upset over time. 

Scout – Can sense nearby hotspots of energy and alert to items in the wild 

Farm Skill – Retrieves water for crops or animals in their station 

Wrecker – Can demolish rocks and heavy-duty minerals, unblocking paths as well. Can climb cliffs and to higher areas. 

Farm Skill – Crafting or breaking down materials for crafting is their best use though they can also dig soil and patrol the farm’s boundaries for extra tidiness 

Healer – Can heal any Transformer you take with you as well as yourself to a degree 

Farm Skill – Tendering to planted crops or animals, keeps them healthy when you are away 

Combatant – The best for fighting other Transformers to subdue and tame them as well as great warriors for challenges and battles. Can climb cliffs and to higher areas. 

Farm Skill – Transformers can get bored, but their favorite pastime is friendly battle. Keeping a Combatant to maintain hobby stations will keep your friends happy. 

Leader – Jack of all trades, can do almost everything on and off the farm. Certain leaders lack one skill compared to other leaders though so be mindful where you place them. 

Farm Skill – Practically everything. 

All Leader Class Transformers have to be fought to tame. And once acquired, they can perform any job the others can...except one. Depending on the Leader, their skills vary.

35. Grimlock - While he excels in combat and most chores, Grimlock is a very weak Healer type. He doesn't do well in trimming crops to maintain health and providing direct care for creatures.

36. Predaking - He cannot be a Scout. Finding items aren't exactly what he cares to do but using water on crops and to replenish animal's water buckets is very hard with half his abilities relying on fire.

50. Ramhorn - Ramhorn has immense difficulties with being an Infiltrator. He has neither the patience or the specialty to deal with vines and trees as well as cleaning up messes. He would rather make messes than clean them.

51. Ravage - Stubborn-headed, yes, but his size does limit him to what he can do. Ravage cannot be a Wrecker class as giant obstacles are a bit too strong for him. He also is better at rearranging crafted items than actually dealing with them.

85. Optimus Prime - Excels in everything except being a Miner. He doesn't have the strongest knowledge of unearthing materials nor digging plots for crops.

86. Megatron - Megatron may be the head honcho of the Decepticons but he isn't going to do everything. Megatron has quite the difficulties with being an Infiltrator. He doesn't deal with mediocre blocked paths nor dealing with a messy camp. He'll leave those chores for other bots.

94. Elita One - Elita has no patience for being a Healer. She sent bots to the infirmary during the war; that's the only relationship she has in terms of medical and natural care.

100. Ultra Magnus - High and mighty Ultra has a lack of association with being a Scout as he isn't the best at tracking things nor retrieving water.

101. Motormaster - He boasts a lot but sucks at being a direct Combatant unless he's cornered. And he doesn't care for seeing to keeping his peers happy in friendly battle.

115. Sky Garry - Good Garry is a star example of a bot except as a Miner. He prefers the sky, hence his name, rather than sticking to the ground and certainly digging in it.

116. Slipstream - Her intelligence rivals many and she finds that while in no sense weak, she doesn't deal with obstacles a Wrecker would. She's also not a great craftsman, preferring to draw up the schematics than physically do them.

134. Tidal Wave - A great behemoth of a Transformer, he is a terrible Scout. A little too big to recognize materials and hidden things from his height, he'll leave the watering and seeking tasks to bots better suited for it.

135. Omega Supreme - The sentinel of Iacon, Omega is a kind soul deep down and surprisingly doesn't like to be a Combatant. He would rather farm than harm. He can also do his chores faster, covering the maximum amount of ground work than most others.

136. Astrotrain - The dark train is an irate fellow who despises being a lackey often times so getting him to be an Infiltrator is most difficult. If he can't crush it underfoot, he doesn't care about doing it.

141. Tarn - He doesn't much care for keeping animals much so it's best not to entrust him with feeding them as a Gatherer. He also doesn't care about collecting supplies out in the wild. If you want your stuff, it's more or less up to you to get them.

166. Nemesis Prime - Nemesis (no, not the ship) is spiteful and won't respond to being a Healer. If they aren't dying, there's no need to fix them. Enough said.

173. Dai Atlas - While he is a good Councilmember, Dai Atlas doesn't do well as a Wrecker. He prefers to fix things than break them. He had no problems with animals though.

175. Sentinel Prime - The cocky Prime has one weakness and that is being a Miner. Grunt work more like to him. He will take out large obstacles, but he won't touch honest ground work.

176. Star Saber - He excels in being a strong Autobot but he is not great at being a Gatherer. It's not that he's forgetful or ignorant, he just isn't used to having to gather supplies and feed animals. Maybe he will want to learn someday.

186. Galvatron - The follower of Unicron holds not a lot of regard for life, especially organic life. So, his weakest point is the chores of a Healer. One day, he may come off his high horse and tend to the animals and crops properly but until then, don't leave them unattended in his care please.

187. Prima - A sweet soul throughout, Prima is a natural caring bot but he is not good at being a Scout. He has a million and one things on his mind, tracking items and keeping water for your animals and crops aren't exactly high on his priorities list.

188. Vector Prime - Vector is a lover, not a fighter. He will not indulge himself or others in battle as a Combatant unless in an emergency. Ironically, he has quite the power behind his attacks. he just doesn't utilize them.

189. Micronus Prime - If it can't be levitated, he doesn't deal with it. Micronus will care for all life but has no regard for heavy-duty tasks or things that require patience like crafting. So, you won't find him as a Wrecker anytime soon.

190. Solus Prime - Solus is the best craftsman in the galaxy. Maybe that's a little dramatic but she is the creator of many artifacts and relics you may find. But she is not the best Infiltrator. She makes messes but she has trouble keeping her own station clear much less your camp, and slicing through little annoyances is not what her talent calls for.

191. Liege Maximo - Liege has many things, including a Glitch-Mouse up his aft, but he doesn't deal with being a Miner. He has far too many other chores he would prefer than digging around for useless things.

192. Megatronus Prime - The angry Prime is not good at being a Healer though he may try. Despite his dark nature, he doesn't always act as he looks, but he understands that taking general care of animals and crops are just not in the cards for him.

193. Quintus Prime - Quintus is a terrible Combatant. He can create and destroy but physical fighting he lacks solely because he's not used to it. Fighting Unicron was one thing, other Transformers the same size and possibly with the same level of powers is quite different.

194. Amalgamous Prime - With a horrible sense of perception among all his quirks, Amalgamous doesn't like being a Scout. Getting him to find your car keys would somehow leave your house burning down. He's just not good at it.

195. Alchemist Prime - As a natural soothsayer of the barkeeping world, Alchemist adores animals but his greatest weakness is actually being a Gatherer. he can talk for days but can be easily distracted and forget that while everything needs a drink, they also need to eat.

196. Nexus Prime - Nexus doesn't like to be responsible for others' idiotic decisions so naturally, he makes a terrible Healer. He will fight but he won't aid you as you die. That's a you problem.

197. Onyx Prime - The Beastmaster of the Predacon race understands and loves creatures great and small, but he is not the best Wrecker. He would rather let those more capable with brute strength made for it go ahead and do what they need to. He'll keep with the animals and crops.

198. Alpha Trion - Alpha Trion is a master librarian but he is not the strongest Combatant in the field. He would rather read and take care of life than fight it. While not a pacifist per say, he's definitely not someone you would take into battle a lot.

199. Unicron - The dark god holds a deep hatred for many things, but he lacks most as a Healer. His blood with siphon life in direct exposure, so how would he even begin to help them even if he wanted to?

200. Primus - A sacred soul and the leader of Cybertron overall, Primus is the bearer of life itself. While not heavily responsible for organic existence, they are a valiant and benevolent kindred breed. But if Primus were to be not as good as others in one specific field, they are a bit perplexed by the skill of being a Miner. Digging is not something they have had a lot of practice with given their normal size.

[whipitgod]

Don’t Worry About The Tomatoes

Hannibal Lecter x Will graham

oneshot - wc :1.2k

summary: not that plot heavy just a mix of fluff and crack jammed into a meet ugly trope/au. will is hannibal’s horrible new neighbor and hannibal struggles to be that angry about his behavior.

warnings: none other than potential bad writing and both of them being kind of ooc lol

a/n: feedback is greatly appreciated!!!! remember to like and reblog if you enjoy this, maybe even follow me ~ this really got away from me, i didn’t really have a solid plan going into but if you like it lmk and ill write a part 2 or something :D

Hannibal shuts his book sharply, standing with a huff and turning to look out the window into the backyard. His newest neighbor has been nothing short of a pain since he moved in a couple weeks before, from the loud rumble of power tools as he made repairs on the house, to the barking of the many dogs that he seems to have.

Hannibal feels somewhat willing to look past the noise of the power tools given that the home is admittedly a bit run down. Truthfully he can't remember who the last tenant of the home was, he thinks he remembers an old woman living in the home alone. The only thoughts crossing his mind as he peers through the window at the man hacking at an overgrown tree with a chainsaw are that he wishes the old lady still resided in the home, and he hopes the man has an unfortunate accident with the loud saw. Hannibal has yet to even see the man, having no idea his name let alone what he looks like, but he’s fantasized of taking his life on more occasions than he can count in the short time that the man has lived there.

“This is ridiculous.'' Hannibal grouses, pushing away from the window with the intent to confront the man, who cares about witnesses at this point; he'd be surprised if the other neighbors don't thank him for his service to the community. As soon as his hand reaches the door knob a loud crash echoes from the backyard, he hopes its the frustrating man falling to his demise,

“I'm not that lucky.” Hannibal muses quietly, making quick strides back towards the window. What he sees is enough to make him gasp in shock, pressing a hand against his heart as he takes in the damage. The branch the man was sawing at had fallen directly onto Hannibal's garden, the plants beneath the branch no question destroyed. He had just gotten that tomato plant staked properly. With a renewed vigor he charges out of the room and towards the back door grumbling quietly to himself as he goes,

“Going to use my bare hands, might not even eat him,” He grabbed the knob and pushed the door open, “going to have to see if there is even anything left to eat.” He continues his quiet murmurs until he spots the man with his back turned to him.

“Excuse me,” Hannibal spat, unable to disguise most of the anger bubbling inside him, “You destroyed my-” he’s unable to finish his complaint as the man finally turns to face him.

Oh god, he’s probably the most attractive man Hannibal has ever laid eyes on. Hannibal sucks in a sharp breath, opening his mouth with the intent to speak again, though he doubts he’d be able to get the words out. He doesn't have to worry about speaking because the man beats him to it,

“Hello?” dear god even his voice is attractive, a rasp coming from what hannibal assumes is years of smoking met with a slight southern drawl, must have grown up somewhere in the south, hannibal rolls the thought around his head a few times all while staring blankly at the gruff man in front of him.

“You must be the owner of the garden I demolished,” the man started, “sorry about that.” He didn't really sound all that sorry, if anything his tone bordered on teasing; if Hannibal was in his right mind he would have found the mans flippant attitude towards the situation unspeakably rude, but he was currently finding it hard to feel any anger towards the beautiful man in front of him. It took Hannibal a moment to even recognize that the man had asked him a question, realizing only when he met the man's curious gaze.

“Hannibal Lecter,” he held out his hand and the other man gripped it firmly. The first thought that went through Hannibal's mind was strong followed quickly by a horrified what am I doing?

“Will Graham,” the man responded, “Again I’m really sorry about your garden.” The man, Will Hannibal's mind supplied, still didn't really seem that sorry; before hannibal could truly think about that he found himself responding quickly,

“It’s not a big deal,” the phrase leaves his mouth before he can stop himself, “It was an honest mistake.” he says the last part with a smile determined not to show the gravity of his internal conflict. Oh god what is wrong with me, his brain supplies in a panicked tone, of course it’s a big deal, it is a huge deal.

“Are you sure?” Will questions returning the smile, “I wouldn't blame you if you were angry with me.”

Hannibal stares at him blankly for a moment, he wants to be angry, he's digging around in his brain trying to find his anger. He can't be angry, not when all he can think about is seeing him smile again. Dear god what is my problem, flashes through Hannibal's mind,

“I'm very sure,” Hannibal affirmed, “I actually planned on digging up the garden and planting some new things.” hannibal prays to whatever higher power there may be that will doesn't notice the flood of different emotions that flash across his face as the words leave his mouth, it seems like his prayer works because Will responds with a smile,

“Would you like my help replanting? Given that I’m the one that crushed it.” Will chuckles softly as the last words leave his mouth, Hannibal also lets out a soft laugh before he can catch himself.

“Oh I couldn't ask that of you,” Hannibal replied, a pitiful attempt at denying how much he wants the help, if only as an excuse to spend more time around the enthralling man in front of him.

“You didn't ask,” will starts with a small smile, “I offered.”

Hannibal returns the smile,it feels like the only thought his brain is capable of is what am I doing? Before he can think better of it hannibal lets out a sigh,

“Well I would be remiss to turn down help when offered,” Hannibal begins, “Would you be free tomorrow to start working?” Hannibal sucks in a quiet breath waiting for the other man to respond, why am I so nervous?

“Even if i wasn't i’d make the time,” Will responds with a teasing smile, “how does noon sound?”

Hannibal has half the mind to think that it almost sounds like Will is flirting though he doesn't have the time to dwell on it before he's rushing out a response,

“Noon sounds perfect.”

Will sends Hannibal another smile accompanied with a teasing look, almost like he understands the effect he's had on Hannibal's blood pressure since the beginning of their interaction.

“It's a date,” Will confirms, “see you tomorrow hannibal.” and with that the man turns and begins walking towards the door of the worn down house, not sparing another look at hannibal as he enters the house and shuts the door softly behind him. Hannibal stands there for a minute staring blankly at the door, his thoughts cascading through his head faster than he can even recognize what they are. He doesn't even realize that his feet had carried him back to his home until he steps through the doorway and the door slams shut behind him, snapping him from his stupor. He lets out a harsh breath attempting to gather his thoughts,

“What the hell just happened.”

[mouwrites]

Hiii um. South Park :3

Maybe… main four and butters with a short ftm reader?

South Park :3 (I'm so sorry if this isn't that good, I'm not quite used to writing for an ftm reader,, I'm trying though I promise)

South Park - Main Four (+ Butters) With a Short FtM Reader

Kyle

Kyle is pretty tall, so he's used to people being shorter than him

Having to bend down for kisses and what not doesn't bother him

He'd never admit it, but he actually loves when you pull him down to your height for a kiss

He just likes a little assertiveness now and again, but only from you

If you're ever insecure about your body or masculinity, he's got facts and figures to validate you

And he'll absolutely listen if you need to vent

One of his favorite activities is destroying transphobes with the same info he uses to comfort you (plus some colorful insults ofc)

He discovers this the very first time he defends you against transphobes at school

"Are you okay? That guy was a major asshole."

"Am I okay? You should be asking the other guy! Cripes, you demolished him!"

"That's what he gets for dissing my boyfriend."

Stan

Whether he wants to admit it or not, Stan can appreciate a partner who'll wear the pants in the relationship every now and again

He has his share of insecurities as well, so he's got empathy for yours

He's the best listener for said insecurities, but as for advice...

He could use some himself,, he can't offer you much

He'll shower you in affection to make up for it though! Words of affirmation are his go-to, even if they are a tad awkward

He also sometimes uses humor to distract you

If someone ever misgenders/deadnames you, he'll immediately correct them with a glare

If the transphobia gets too intense though, the best he can do is get you away while making a few digs at the assailant(s)

He'll check to make sure you're okay once you're alone

"Yeah, I'm okay, I guess. Just... sucks, I guess."

"I'ou'll always be my big tough boyfriend. Well, maybe not big."

"Pfff, thanks, babe."

Cartman

He bullies you so much for being short

Secretly he thinks it’s adorable, which is why he keeps bringing it up

If you tell him to stop, he might ease up a little, but won’t completely quit it

Very blunt when it comes to comforting you

He’ll absolutely just interrupt you if you start spiraling while venting

He gives brief but sincere reassurance before insisting on cuddling while watching TV

He won’t openly defend you because he doesn’t want people to see his soft spot for you

His defense is more indirect

Like if someone deadnames you he immediately spits out:

“Kill yourself.”

“Cartman!”

You act all shocked, but you appreciate his efforts, subtle as they are

Kenny

Honestly he doesn’t really care that you’re short

He likes to try and pick you up sometimes though

This usually ends with you both laughing on the ground after he inevitably stumbles

When you come to him about your insecurities, he insists on touching you while you speak

He’d prefer to have you in his lap while he whispers validations in your ear, but he’ll settle for hand-holding or even just pinky-locking

If anyone ever so much as insinuates anything transphobic, it’s on sight

He’s throwing hands before they even finish the sentence

You’ve had to pull him off multiple people

You don’t apologize though (unless it was a genuine misunderstanding)

“They’re not gonna bother you anymore, babe.”

“I think they’re just scared of me now…”

Butters

Short person solidarity!!

The most supportive boyfriend ever

Definitely has at least one of those t-shirts that’s just the trans flag

Absolutely beams whenever he wears them, but he won’t tell people that you’re trans if you don’t want him to

Gets really pouty when you’re insecure

You’re just so amazing and valid in his eyes, how could you not see it?

Will vent right back at you about how awesome and cool and manly you are

But he’ll also just shut up and listen if you tell him that’s what you need

Gets even more pouty when people are transphobic

It’s more of an angry pout, though

You guys team up to battle the transphobes 💪

“Hey! That is not nice! His name is Y/n and he is a boy!”

“Yeah, asshole!”

This is my first time writing an ftm reader, so pretty please do let me know how I can improve!! I’m ready to learn!

I hope this was okay anon, thank you for your request! And thanks for reading :D

(divider by saradika)

[turtlesundaes]

MARCH FOR RAPH DAYS TEN, ELEVEN AND TWELVE !!!!

Completely copied and pasted from my notes so you guys can have some cringe ramblings :>

———

SO… WE ALL REMEMBER MARCH FOR RAPH…

And I sort of got grounded…ish..

So instead of actually doing the prompts like we’d normally do- (drawing, writing, etc.) -we will rant about the topic instead because depression sucks but I still really want to do this !!! :>

I will be letting my mind wander so I will probably get off topic but I try my best.

Also some of these might become actual fanfics (???)

And it will all be posted within the same five minutes because why not.

DAY 10. Bowling with Casey

I did start drawing this one and it was gonna b a bunch of Raph and Cassandra doodles bc I had done Casey jr. for day six but generally they would be SO chaotic.

I totally see Raph having to explain what bowling even is to Cass at first (bc yk I don’t see her knowing much bc of being in the foot clan that is literally just a cult with ninja skills- I do see her knowing hockey tho from her childhood bc I don’t think she was born into the cult but just been in it from a super young age like six or something? yk what I mean??) but once she gets it she will absolutely demolish!!!

Like as in the bowling ball won’t even touch the floor because she throws it just perfectly.

When I think of Raph bowling I instantly think of him using baby rails and it TAKES ME. But I do think he would be decent at it, not the best in the family but also not the worst. (no baby rails required)

They would be super loud the whole time though, like, 100% would be kicked out b4 they finish the game so every turn matters bc they go off whatever score they had before getting kicked out.

They would yell a bunch of catchphrases and trash talk basically but Cass probably would curse very loudly out of habit and that’s like, the main reason for them getting kicked out.

Raph wouldn’t mind the getting kicked out part (cause I totally see them doing this on the regular so he’s used to it) but the cursing will be only a slight annoyance. (Just cause of how LOUD Cass would be not anything against the girl honestly he just gets embarrassed)

I see Raph using curse words but ONLY when he’s alone with Cass just cause it feels normal with her but even then it’s still a rarity.

They would totally travel from place to place after getting kicked out though, then tally the points from every place and loser hosts the next outing.

DAY 11. Favorite novel

In cannon his favorite novel is obviously Jupiter Jim or something but I’ve seen so many people saying Percy Jackson and I find that hilarious.

I never read much Percy Jackson (my brother is trying very hard to get me to and I probably will… soon enough-) I did read the first book, the sun and the star, saw some of the movie aaaaand I think like two episodes of the new series ???

But as we know the guys LOVE sci-fi so the whole gist of Percy Jackson isn’t too far off from Raph’s liking me thinks.

But personally I think Raph would ADORE the Wings of Fire series (if we’re gonna get all projecting here, as per usual /pos)

Like think about it !!! Cool mystical creatures, mystery, cool diverse magic AND THE LORE ?!?!?! Also the fact that’s theirs like sixteen books (???) not Including the many spin-offs and side stories- (I have no idea what the average number is for a large series so that’s a lot for me :^) oh! And the graphic novels!!

He would so relate to Clay and think his fireproof scales are so cool. I see so many similarities. He would match his brothers with the MC’s (Mikey with Sunny, Donnie with Starflight, Leo with Tsunami) ((I am so not saying this bc I’ve done it myself-)) GOSH HE WOULD TOTALLY MAKE FAN FICTION AND HAVE LITTLE NOTEBOOKS DEDICATED TO HIS HEADCANNONS AAAAAAAAAAHHH !!!1!!1!1!!!111!

In conclusion he would be a huge geek about it all (he would rope Mikey in bc YALL-) and Mikey would make them cool cardboard wings. The end :]

DAY 12. Stir Crazy

I realllllllllyyyyyyy wanted to draw this one with Mikey and Raph in the kitchen but alas.. 😔

But yes Raph can coooook!!! 🔥🔥🔥

Not actually though. What I see in my very good vision is Raph helping Mikey out in the kitchen. Specifically, stirring.

I’d think that after the invasion Raphs motor skills in general would need improvement. This is not based on anything actually scientific I just have a ✨feeling✨ that after his whole kraang-ified ordeal he would have trouble with knowing he was in control (as most have headcannoned yes, but I like to think of mine as slightly different :p) his arm and eye and insert other places he was kraang-ified that I don’t remember here, would be significantly impacted from this worse than his not kraang infected side.

Like he would have a lazy eye, his arm would twitch/spasm and/or that whole side of his body would get pins and needles or just go numb at times.

But even then it would take a long and I mean LONG time for him to even get to that point. Before that it’s going to be even worse, like, being temporarily paralyzed and/or he would have to learn how to move that side of his body all over again.

This gives us Leo and Raph learning to move again bonding, your welcome.

But I’m not that evil to actually make him forever paralyzed, even if it was just the arm. (I’m too much of a wuss 😔)

The other side of his body would also take time to move again but that’s like a few hours compared to the months of work Raphs gonna have to put into his other side.

I don’t care that he bounces back immediately in the movie that is going to be labeled adrenaline. Also that one scene where Mikey and Donnie get thrown and Leo’s all like “go for them!! 🥺” and Raph falls on his side for a second and his arm is limp before running to them.

That split second scene is basically the whole reason why this headcannon exists.

BUT BACK TO THE PROMPT !!! :D

During healing Raph would do motor skill practice with Mikey aka baking cause Raph loves to lick the batter of the spoon when their done and stirring helps his arm. He would also flip pancakes maybe but I don’t see him doing anything like measurements cause it’s Mikey’s whole thing to cook but he helps keep the place clean :]

———

Anywizle, my apologies for missing a few days and coming back with a messy rant- but it was fun so who cares!

So buh-bye! Have a good night and/or day! It may be possibly impossible but possibly I will see you tomorrow!

:>

[xx-blueboy-xx]

Day Two: Pumpkin Patch | Suptober 2023

CW: None!

Words: 1,233 

“Dude…this is for literal children.” an exasperated sigh escaped his lips as he stood beneath the warm, October sun. He was standing in the last place one would expect to find a hunter during this time of year. Sam was standing in the middle of a pumpkin patch, while an archangel was kneeling down beside one knocking against the side. As if listening to it to see if it would be good for carving. He found it ridiculous, but couldn’t help the smile tugging on his lips. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes, though they were mostly hidden behind the dark sunglasses he was sporting. “I already offered to turn you into a child if that would make you feel more comfortable, but you said no.” 

“It’s just -” Sam shakes his head and waves a hand around, gesturing to all the young children around them being led through the path by doting parents. A few older kids were walking around on their own in small groups. Others were daring the corn maze, and he could see a ‘haunted’ hayride in the distance.

 “You know how I feel about Halloween. And,” he crosses his arms over his chest, his brows furrowed. “You tricked me. You said this was the case.” 

Gabriel grins at him, seeming to have chosen a pumpkin, and the hunter was grateful. They had spent the last thirty minutes here, the blonde absolutely determined to pick the best one. “It is a case! The hayride is haunted, duh!” 

The Winchester settled the shorter man with a classic bitch face of his and the archangel sighs deeply. He knew that this was going to be tough. That the man has all kinds of trauma tied to holidays. Why go around celebrating monsters and the supernatural, when he knew what real werewolves looked like. And they don;t have cute fluffy tails or ears. Everyday he came face to face with the things that children wore around as masks, giggling and not caring about the world. Besides, they could never afford costumes, and John never took them trick-or treating. You can’t do that when you hop from motel to motel. It hadn’t taken long for Sam’s obsession with Halloween to have been completely demolished. Much like so many other wonders of childhood. 

Gabriel sighs, his shoulders slumping. As much as he likes pushing buttons he knows when to stop, but he would try just one more thing. One last little nudge. God knows, Sam wouldn’t budge anywhere without it. “Just pick one and come carve it with me? Please?” 

Sam felt like he was rooted to the soil beneath him. Gabriel rarely ever asked for anything and a little bit of guilt ran through him, as he remembered how excited he had been to drag him here. He bit on the inside of his cheek, he could suck it up for one day. Hell, not even that, only a few hours. It wasn;t even halloween, they still have it three days before then. He runs a hand through his hair and silently wanders down the line of pumpkins. He approaches the nearest one, and he picks it up. It is decently sized and there is a strange large knot on the side - which was a little charming he had to admit. He plucked it from the stem with ease. 

He stood with it tucked beneath his arm, and found that Gabriel was grinning with triumph at him. He rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t get used to me saying yes to shit whenever you say please.” Sam comments, and the archangel shrugs. 

“Once is still more than enough bragging rights! I got the stubborn Sam WInchester to bend to my whims,” he flashes the hunter a sultry wink. “And maybe over a table for me.” 

Sam elbows the cackling archangels as his cheeks flood with a maroon blush. “Shut up!”

Gabriel’s snickers slowly die down to something more reasonable, and the pair walk in comfortable silence towards long tables. Chairs have been provided as well, along with any tools one may need to carve a pumpkin. Including a variety of stencils.  There are plenty of happy families there and a few sickly sweet couples. Sam feels a little out of place in the festivities as he places his pumpkin down on the table at a pretty empty table at the back. It seems his sudden discomfort didn’t go unnoticed, as he feels a hand gently touch his arm. It’s fleeting but ground him instantly. Sam gives a grateful smile to Gabriel. The archangel knows how nervous crowds can make him. 

He expects the man to snap his fingers and some elaborate carving to appear on the pumpkin he has set before himself, and to his shock he watches him pick up a knife. He pushes it through the top with little effort and begins to cut. Sam turns away and he begins to work on his own. He is a little confused as to what he is meant to do, so he merely mimicked Gabriel - he had never done this before, only heard other kids talk about it.  He pulled off the top watching the stringy-need of it break away from the inside, seeds falling. 

Curiously he reached out and touched the guts of the pumpkin. Instantly he pulled his hand back , a full body shudder bolting through him. Sam’s nose crinkled up and he felt like gagging, but held back the violent response. He put the top of the pumpkin down and aggressively shook both of his hands, everything simply screaming - ew. He frowned, realizing that he wasn’t going to be able to do this as he saw a few kids at the table in front of him dig their hands right in. He chews on the inside of his cheek. Another thing ruined because he couldn’t just be normal. 

Those thoughts got cut off, as he discovered gloves sitting beside his pumpkin now. His eyes darted to Gabriel. Who was already elbow deep in his pumpkin. Utterly covered in the guts he was already pulling out. Sam almost felt nauseous just thinking about it. Gabriel was humming a song underneath his breath, and didn’t say a word. Didn’t even acknowledge the hunter as he looked at him. But Sam knew he made these, as he slid them on. He puts his hand back in and pulls some out, this time, without an adverse response. He felt a smile flicker across his face as he flicked it off his hand. Okay. This was kinda fun. 

They both work in pretty much silence, broken by the low humming from the archangel. As Sam begins to take fine scraping tools to the inside of his pumpkin, he glances back at Gabriel and feels his breath catch in his throat. The setting sun where it hangs low in the sky is bouncing waves of light off of Gabriel’s hair, making a false glowing halo around his head. As it catches in his gaze they are as blazing golden color, and the joy sp[read through his features - soft and genuine. That is the most breathtaking thing of all. 

He opens his mouth to say something stupid, before his mind can catch up when a pumpkin seed is flicked into the side of his head. 

“Quit thinking so much and carve, Winchester.” 

Sam decides he quite likes carving pumpkins.