#it was a fair choice in the context of what seems to be a cute little animal person line

[winepresswrath]

canon catboy jiang cheng is haunting me. He doesn't even look like a respectable catboy.

[siblingshuffle]

Sibling Shuffle: Roll With The Punches

Hey guys! Sorry for the wait!

Context: this takes place a little bit after Megaman 7. Roll’s home, now, and since Piano at most messed up the organization on their computer and/or toppled a chair (just to appease Bass), they didn’t have to do much in the way of cleanup at the lab.

LORE: Roll, like Rock, doesn’t want to hurt anyone. That said, Roll does threaten Wily at Buster-Point, much like Rock in the original.

To be fair, Roll had had a REALLY rough day. I mean, first Wily attacked the city again, forcing her to fight again. Then, she met someone she thought was her friend, and, while it was a little bit annoying that Blues and Dr. Light didn’t seem to trust her, she could understand their concerns to some extent. Then Piano got hurt, so, because of course she does, Roll sends Piano to Dr. Light - her dad had always fixed her when she needed fixing; he could help Piano! But then, all of a sudden, no one is answering when she calls. Roll returns home in a panic, and while (thankfully) her family is okay, just locked out of the computer room - and Piano turns out to have been a Wilybot with intentions to infiltrate Light Labs, steal some blueprints, and use them to destroy her.

Roll had thought at least she and Rock wouldn’t be fighting alone this time. Instead, it was another trick, and Roll kinda rapid-fire cycled through the stages of grief over her & Piano’s (now former) friendship. With Wily gleefully rubbing salt in that fresh wound, after everything he did - to the city, to her friends, her brothers, her father, and everything and everyone she cared about - she hit her breaking point.

Anger can be pretty dangerous. It can make you want, do, or say things you wouldn’t usually want, do, or say. And in that moment, Roll didn’t just want Wily to stop.

She wanted him to never put anyone through that all again.

Once Roll had calmed down a bit, though, her earlier dark desire to pull the trigger scared her a bit. I mean, she doesn’t want to hurt people. She’s not malicious. Why had she gotten so mad? What if she had pulled the trigger? Was it even possible for her to, under those circumstances?

The other Lights could tell that she was bothered by what happened, but they were letting her come to them. Though Rock started doing things that comforted him in hopes that Roll would receive that feeling, Dr. Light let her know that she could talk to him a few times, and Blues gave her space (because he would want space if something happened that left him that shaken).

When Roll eventually did seek one of them out, it was Blues. His function of just "being himself" implies (at least to him) “make your own choices,” because you can’t be your own person of you’re not making your own choices. For this reason, he is well-versed in loopholes. (He sees them as him fulfilling his purpose by doing what he wants despite what he is told to do). If anyone could reassure her about whether or not she could’ve actually done it, it would probably be him.

————— Additional Trivia (& Details):

I was on Pinterest for some pose references and I saw this cute skirt with a kinda overalls build and heart-shaped pockets. I thought it was adorable and immediately wanted to draw Roll wearing something similar. And, like I said I might, I gave her the scarf to match her brothers!

I looked at the events of game 7 and asked what could’ve possibly driven someone - especially someone like Roll (or Rock) - to the point where they are actively threatening this man’s life when they have never done so before. The TLDR of what I came up with? Roll was trying to scare him, but also wanted to fire because of all the accumulated stress. However, the fact that he wasn’t putting a human in immediate life-threatening danger meant that she couldn’t fire no matter how much she wanted to in that moment.

Blues’s alternate outfit is inspired by his other 2 canon-to-something casual outfits. Mostly the one from Rockman: Yomigaeru Blues, but also a bit the Megamix one. (Not that much of his Megamix one, but kinda.)

Blues isn’t lying. The first law (or, the way they were programmed with it at least) requires the human to be putting another human in active life-threatening danger in order to justify breaking it. It’s the strictest of the 3 laws.

Roll’s nickname. One thing I noticed I kept doing when thinking up scenes was Blues occasionally nicknaming friends & family members. So far, I’ve come up with “Rolly-Poly” for Roll, “Rocky Road” for Rock, and the much-less-creative “Tem/Temp” for Tempo.

(To note is the fact that Rhythm does the same thing when I am thinking of interactions with her, but her nicknames are more poking fun at someone. Like in my head, she calls Rock “Blue” and Blues “Red” just because she is an instigator of chaos and thinks it’s funny.)

You guys have to tell me whether or not you like the alt outfits or not.

[didalexiabreakupwitholgayet]

Hi!

Wondering if you have any thoughts about the picture that went around of Lucy and Ona together after the Japan match? And by that I don't mean in the context of how possibly "cute" it is, but more the larger context behind the picture and the discussion about their privacy.

Since I've seen that there's been some discussion about how wrong or not it is that that picture was taken at all. Because these are obviously pictures that they have not approved to be taken, or approved to be posted on social media for others to see, and seems to be a private moment for them after the game.

At the same time, i see some people have said like, this is Lucy Bronze, in a spanish Ona Batlle shirt after an opening match at the Olympics, in the stands with lots of fans around her, not exactly the definition of private, like then obviously someone is going to see them, and take pictures.. so even if the two of them have a private moment, if they really wanted to not been seen, wouldn't they have then gone somewhere more "hidden"?

There are also some comparisons between the pictures taken after the WC final last year, like why are those pictures okay? Or is it different because it was on the bench and not in the stands, or because it was a professional photographer and not an ordinary fan?

These are not my opinions btw, but things I've read people mean, so I was just wondering if you have any thoughts about this?

hi anon - so this is a very interesting ask and i have a lot of thoughts. i've also found my opinion changing and evolving on this topic too.

so i did see the picture that you're talking about, and it seemed very paparazzi-like to me, as if we were intruding on something we shouldn't be seeing. i think the lines that i draw between what is okay to film or not depends on what the players are doing and where they are. (and it doesn't matter if the photographer is professional or not because a lot of news outlets have paparazzi that break ethical rules too!)

if the players are on the pitch playing, before or after a match, or at an official event, then they are at 'work' and it's fair game to film them and take pictures. like lucy and ona directly on the pitch after the world cup.

but if they are out in public as a 'civilian' then it gets more complicated. in that specific photo, it seems like ona has showered and is greeting family and friends in the stands so she's 'off the clock' so to speak. in that case, and even though she's in a public place, i personally don't think it's okay to film or take photos without asking for permission. if you see a player in public and want their photo, then i think they deserve the courtesy of you asking. like some fans asked to take photos with lucy during yesterday's match with colombia and she kindly obliged.

conversely, if a player posts a photo themselves off the pitch (like mapi and engen 🥰), then that's totally cool to share.

and players' family and friends deserve extra courtesy as well. for example, irene will bring her son, mateo, to matches and tournaments and fans have taken pictures of his face and posted them. not cool! do her the courtesy of blurring it out. just because he's in a public place doesn't mean it's okay to show mateo.

these people shouldn't have to live their lives entirely in private and hidden away, but we as fans should respect their choices and privacy as well.🙏

[otakween]

Digimon Girls Festival (Image Songs)

It's been awhile since I've done a post about "audio-only" Digimon media. Digimon has so many of these!! If you're curious this site seems like a good place to see all the info about the albums out there. Digimon-Basic is where you're going to want to go if you want to download the albums, but most of them are on YouTube too. I gotta say, this fandom is nothing if not super well documented! I'm impressed.

Loving the cover art for this (why do they all look like they're going to different parties though?) As you can see, this is a collection of image songs for all of the girls from Adventure, 02, and Tamers. No Frontier, unfortunately :'( With most anime, characters get 1-2 image songs, with Digimon they get like 5 for some reason (spread across different albums).

Image Songs

Ruki Makino - My Style (Listen here subbed)

A very fitting song for Ruki in terms of the edgy rock n roll style and her singing about wanting to stay true to herself. I found her singing about wanting wings to be pretty random though. I feel like they just stick that in anime songs cuz it sounds cool lol (I think one or two of the other image songs talked about wanting wings).

Favorite line was "I don't want to imitate anyone, I want to be me." I feel like what Ruki is struggling with is that she does care what people think of her a lot (hence her angsty facade) but really wants to break free of that and be her true self.

The lyrics were kinda poorly translated grammatically, but I've tried to translate Japanese song lyrics before...it's super hard. I feel like some things just end up sounding dumb in English and it might be better to go the localization route instead of direct translation (if this were an official thing).

Miyako Inoue - Yamato Nadeshiko Panic (Listen here subbed)

Damn, it's a good thing I know what a yamato nadeshiko is or else this song would seem pretty weird. The subber decided to translate yamato nadeshiko as "japanese woman" which...sort of makes sense but it leaves out so much context. To be fair...it's a tricky one (as I said in the previous bullet, translaton is hard!)

Anyways, this song wasn't super interesting. It was basically Miyako singing about how she wants to be an elegant, "ideal" woman. Low key trad wife vibes lol Nothing wrong with wanting to be a good wife/partner, it's just not something I relate to 😅

I feel like I never fully got a grasp on Miyako's character. The only thing I remember is that she was a fangirl and kinda boy crazy. There was an episode about how she's really outspoken I think?

Sora Takenouchi - Sky-Blue Wind (Listen here subbed)

It seems like a lot of these songs are about not being honest with yourself. It's all very Japanese lol. Sora is singing about putting on a brave face for the sake of her friends. I guess that's fitting since we did see her run away when she was upset in the anime.

She sings that she "likes her role" as the optimistic one...reminds me of Ted Lasso and Waymond from Everything Everywhere All At Once. I can't tell if this kind of outlook is admirable or deeply unhealthy.

Shaochung Lee - My Future (Listen here subbed)

This one was disappointing because I liked Shaochung. It was a super unimaginative song about Shaochung wanting to grow up. Like...I guess that makes sense, but it's a very obvious and lazy choice (with her being the youngest). Maybe she could have sung about her relationship with her brother or Lopmon/Terriermon?

I did think the "I can't see the after-10pm world" line was pretty cute/clever

Hikari Yagami - Reflection (Listen here subbed)

According to fandom wikis, this is a response to the Takeru song Focus which I wrote about here. I still feel weird about these two songs. Why would they depict Takeru and Hikari as a couple when that wasn't in the source material (imo)? I don't remember the 02 epilogue saying anything about them being together! Maybe the image songs aren't canon lol

There's something funny about Hikari calling Takeru's eyes beautiful when I just picture them as generic anime eyes. I guess blue eyes would be something to sing about in Japan. (I actually think Hikari's light brown eyes are prettier).

Juri Katou - The Color of Someday (Listen here subbed)

Sheeesh this one was dark (I mean...to be expected). It sounded to me like Juri was singing about being depressed and anxious, unsure how to live a "normal" life. The color in the title refers to that "normal" future that she wants to achieve.

A lot of the song seemed to be about masking and being afraid to show any vulnerabilities to the world. She also says she doesn't understand what love is or how to love (probably cuz of her crappy parents).

Looking back on it, I kinda wish they had foreshadowed Juri's darker side better in Tamers. She started out as such a goofy, comic relief character that her breakdown felt less real to me (also, I cared less because my brain had already categorized her as "generic background comic relief girl."). If they had shown a tiny hint of a crack in her facade sooner, it probably would have made her more interesting.

Good morning/Goodnight Calls

(These should be easy to find, they're in the same playlist as the videos above)

I don't really know what the point of these are, going to be honest. The album contains random voice lines (around 20 seconds each) of the girls saying good morning and goodnight. It reminds me of those Vtuber voice packs. Personally, I'm a big fan of Japanese oddities like this, but they seem very niche.

I thought the appeal would be to pretend that the characters are talking to me, but in the first voice clip Ruki is addressing her grandma...guess I could pretend to be her grandma lmao

Okay, Sora's wake up/goodnight call literally sounds like waifu bait (very breathy)...which is strange considering she's an elementary schooler. Who was this made for?

Some of these would make decent alarm sounds, if you're into that sorta thing. I think it would get very annoying very fast to have an anime girl yelling at me first thing haha

Sora and Miyako's were so vague and general that they could have been from any series. No mention of digimon or anything like that.

Why is Mimi showing up now but didn't get an image song? Wasn't she the singer of the group!? (Her voice lines were very shrill, my ears are bleeding lol)

Hearing cheerful!Juri after listening to her song feels...uncomfortable

I wonder if these were just improv'd on the spot. I want more backstory.

[jerreeeeeee]

i also read the suffering game graphic novel. here's praises and criticisms. this one is also more negatives than positives unfortunately, i tried to be fair and thoughtful but i did not like it very much

things i liked:

-lucretia prologue establishing that she went to wonderland + talking abt missing the crew. fun & mysterious

-hi mavis and mookie :) they are cute

-HI BARRY sometimes i forget he stalked merle’s family outing. i love that freak

-magnus and angus scene!! fisher showing angus the statue drawing!! ango detective subplot!! this is a nice and natural addition since we know he was sleuthing around the BOB

-merle teasing taako about his date is kinda cute actually love seeing them be friends

-thank god they got rid of the chimera. idk if this is a hot take or anything but its probably my least favorite fight in the podcast its so out of place and unnecessary. there are lots of fights that didnt really matter in the beginning like all the gerblins and the slime swamp in rockport but they were still like getting their bearings and the show was more like a real dnd campaign than a typical actual play, but by the time you get to the suffering game there’s more interesting things to do and you're like god why are we still doing random forest encounters just get to wonderland already

-not a positive per se but i’m not that upset about sterling and his party being cut. i feel like an adaptation would’ve had an opportunity to make that little c-plot matter more, and that would’ve been awesome, but as is in the podcast, i never felt particularly strongly about it? not enough to miss it. idk like magnus and merle were already for ‘trust’ even if it were strangers and taako never seems all that regretful about it (which like. fair. he’s the pragmatist and that’s how the prisoner’s dilemma works. he played the game right because he couldn’t afford to lose, knowing they hurt some slightly-less-strangers doesn’t really change that).

-i dont remember which of the boys discovered it in the podcast but merle noticing the smoke thing is good. he actually is competent and especially in an arc that’s meant to make him feel useless that’s a good little reminder

-i do like that the liches say the bell is very powerful & is threatening to destroy them like both keeping in theme with the rest of the relics and an introduction to the idea that sharing an incredible and dangerous power between two people makes it easier to keep your sanity, similar to lichdom

-griffin getting cut off with the hunger is awesome finally we’re taking advantage of the medium. nothing more to say that choice rules

-posts on tumblr hyped me up for taako recognizing barry’s dick but unfortunately that’s not really what happened and now i’m disappointed. but the graphic novels arent canon so i’ll just have to continue with my barry/taako awkward past one night stand agenda despite it all

-i dont quite know how to feel about the umbrastaff leaping to barry to replace the “love barry, trust barry” moment. on the one hand, having lup actually speak to taako wouldn’t work super well in graphic novel form, not to mention the whole band of projected thought thing was kinda convoluted and they are clearly very limited on time, and taako choosing to trust the umbrastaff in this way is a creative way to get that same effect. on the other hand, its so unclear what even happened or why it changes taako’s mind without podcast context. that’s one of my big gripes, you’re expected to be familiar with the story already, but if you’re familiar with the story, the graphic novels are… worse in every way. also, i really really liked the original scene so even though it doesn’t work, i miss it. this isn’t as effective—we don’t find out there’s a person missing from taako’s memory, his heart doesn't swell at the sound of her voice, he doesn’t know with certainty that she’s someone dear to him. it's just like, another instance of the umbrastaff acting weird. maybe you put together that 'LUP' is a person but you don't have any indication until the moment of remembering how important she is. all of that would be really difficult to get across in a visual medium anyway, but still, yknow, it doesn’t hit as hard.

-ango!! his mage hand is coming along so well!! although. why is his wand just like a stick. did he pick it up off the ground. taako needs to take better care of his boy this reflects badly on him as a teacher lmao

-i felt this way about the eleventh hour too but there’s so many little details of taako and merle’s friendship i feel like they have little asides and jokes together a lot and i love that

-the looming dread of the hunger is done pretty well (as well as it can be with such time restraints)

-merle trying to commune with pan and seeing john instead is good. very ominous and intriguing for new readers and exciting for podcast listeners

-really liked the panel of barry in the red robe against the stars and the bond engine’s white ring as he’s remembering. very cool very cinematic

-i actually also really like the framing as taako remembers, filling in the memories we’d seen previously and clearing out the static while he looks so broken, and merle asking him what he’s remembering, and then finally speaking his sister’s name. its framed very powerfully. i wish he and lup didn’t look awful so i could actually feel something at that part. like they are my favorite characters ever their story makes me so emotional and i just. they’re unrecognizable. the character designs are terrible and taako has spent 6 books now being mischaracterized and flattened to hell so i just can’t muster any emotion. maybe i'll redraw that page someday though because the panelling is genuinely very good

-the ending lucretia monologue is good she's the narrator she's the main character she's everything. love the portraits staticking out and mirroring and changing, and ending on the beach painting is great. very cinematic and a natural way to phase into the stolen century

things i didn’t like:

-i dont think taako’s deepest desire is his own brand of fashion forward athleisure wear if i’m being quite honest. these little things irk me

-why is liches get stitches all the way in the beginning… ill portent for how the rest of this book will go

-i think they shouldve introduced the flaming raging poisoning sword of doom way earlier. the payoff isnt nearly as good without the setup of having been magnus’ white whale for like fifty episodes. maybe they did mention it in earlier books and i just forgot though

-^ i hate his stupid ugly oversexualized stereotyped ass so fucking much its unreal

-why are edward and lydia ugly :( —(they're not ugly because they're chubby they're ugly because their color schemes and outfits are fucking awful) (fr though why are all their colors so muted and dingy?? why are their outfits boring?? at least their heart attack looks are fun)

-oh so there’s just no trust or forsake at all. yeah i don’t like that. in the end no great loss since i don't think it really says anything about thb's characters that hasn't already been said, but so much of thb's characters and arcs have been cut from the gns already

-i get that they’re low on time trying to fit in reunion tour but like come on part of the suffering of the suffering game is how long and painful it is cutting it down really just. makes it not matter as much

-magnus looks no different after aging LMAO he gets like 2 gray hairs and that’s it

-edward and lydia’s lich forms are also boring unfortunately

-no tasha’s hideous laughter on the heart attack mannequin? lame. although i have for the first time realized that dnd shows kinda have a thing for characters uninterested in romance being forced by mysterious powers to be haunted by creepy puppet-like “romance partners” huh

-magnus doesn’t forget kalen?? why cut that out? i guess because there was never closure for it in the original story?

-no boss rush?? that was fun :(

-magnus and taako aren’t surprised merle has kids??? did they know???

-dupree looks terrible but i guess props to carey for giving him feathers even though it looks bad

-just axed the liches’ backstory?? that was kind of important?? the fact that they turned to necromancy out of love for their family & powered themselves with positive emotions too? that like, has relevance later…

-NO BAD LUCK FOR ARMS OUTSTRETCHED? COME ON

-the framing of magnus’ soul being removed is so anticlimactic in general like the POINT of a VISUAL adaptation is to have interesting & cinematic VISUALS its just so messy

-all of arms outstretched didnt look very good in general sorry. its just such a big important moment and to make it so mid… a tragedy

-“i guess we still needed each other after all” doesnt work anymore because they removed all of edward and lydia’s backstory and character but it was an interesting line to me that i wish had been kept. hammering in that liches need anchors is, again, pretty relevant later on, getting rid of that foreshadowing sucks, and it also humanizes these villains in an interesting way that really highlights their powerlust as their downfall rather than just, like, cruelty for evil’s sake. like yes they torture people and find it fun because they’re so distanced from their own humanity but they also truly believed it was necessary for their own safety and seemingly only became sadistic after they desensitized themselves. i wrote a post about this a while ago but idk if i’ll ever post it

-not a fan of barry killing lydia either. idk why, its not like he hasn’t killed other people to protect the boys before. but that’s earlier in the show before we know he’s not just a villain and is in fact meant to introduce him as a villain. now he’s a friend so idk if you can just go back to having him murder people? again its not a wrong choice but it feels like messy storytelling. also like i think seeing a lich grieving her anchor and a sister grieving her brother would pull some heartstrings for him. it would maybe remind him of some people he loves and garner some sympathy and give him some pause. and i liked that in the podcast even though lydia was so distanced from the idea of positive anchors, killing edward just immediately undoes her, fits in with the themes and the way we understand liches to work, another powerful example of what bonds can do, and that's kinda lost here

-magnus’ answer to the bell sucks so badddd lmao when these books NEED context they’re devoid of it but when they actually have the necessary plot points/character arc established for the reader to put something together they have to go and spell it out like the audience is stupid. there was something so raw and powerful about magnus’ original “i’d hate it. shut the fuck up.” like just shutting it down and not even considering it. that’s completely lost when he has to be like “recap time! my wife, julia,” eugh just didnt like that. there are so many powerful lines from balance that i don’t hate on principal that they’ve changed, but there was no good reason to change, and so the new version just falls flat and there was no reason not to include the original lines verbatim? i get not wanting to just deliver a podcast highlight reel and have the gns be their own story or w/e but if you’re gonna do that you have to do it well, and they just keep being worse unfortunately

-they don’t get the chance to go off the grid themselves and choose to trust barry?? come the fuck ON that is IMPORTANT to the STORY

-this may or may not be an unpopular opinion but i’m not a fan of barry’s design either. i don’t like the hair and he’s not fat enough. less egregious than others but its still another instance of being like who tf is that

-barry’s little coin monologue was kinda fun and dramatic and i (finally) liked the visuals of him falling from the sky/silhouette of the starblaster against faerun’s single sun. but i wish they’d kept more of the original. add drama that’s fine but the point of it is to humanize him after we’ve spent so long thinking of him as a villain and a ghost and a force of the story and now it turns out he’s barry bluejeans. he’s just a guy. he loves his mom. he’s allergic to dairy. he’s afraid of the dark.

-especially not a fan of cutting out the “love that defined and redeemed you” and “dull weight in your chest” in barry’s coin monologue. those are important parts of his character. whether you interpret the love and the weight to be for lup or for the whole crew, you need to know that the red robe has lost people, and that everything he does is to try to get them back. he’s the lover and he’s grief personified. his mission is to save the world AND recover his family. thats like. kinda important for his character and role in the story. if you ask me.

-again the “we’ll get em next time” magnus flashback is not BAD but it could’ve looked so much better? carey definitely has strengths as an artist but her fight scenes and character design tends to be very weak so its unfortunate that this is an adaptation of a dnd podcast where those 2 things are like, the most important. idk i feel like i should be articulating what i mean better but i’m not sure how. the fights just are often really cluttered and framed in an odd way that doesn’t look very good or dramatic or dynamic. i don’t want to say carey is a bad artist, i really don’t think she is! but i think she was not the right artist for this project. the magic of a visual medium is, well. the visuals. when they’re mid the whole story suffers.

-taako and merle not just saying magnus is dead is sorta unnecessarily confusing since everyone like assumes he’s dead anyway? idk i don’t understand that choice. kinda fucks with his moment with carey. not a big deal in the end but it does seem unnecessary

-MAGNUS DOESN’T GO SEE FISHER?? the mannequin dies in fantasy costco??? what about johann???

-“you stole half of my fucking heart” i know a lot of people loved this line but it genuinely baffles me. Why Only Half. not only referencing one of the most heartwarming (and heartbreaking) lines in the original show with no context for why its meaningful at all yet—but also minimizing it? why soften that blow? why detract from the raw intensity of that grief? why reduce a very powerful sentiment? an adaptation of balance that doesn’t allow itself to be earnest and wholehearted (ha) about its platonic bonds is not a good adaptation, straight up. maybe its not that deep but it is To Me. maybe it has no real import and i’m just being stupid but like they made that choice to write half instead of just “my heart.” Why, genuinely

-hey what the fuck happened to johann for real though. that was a really important part of the story. hey. hey. what about johann. like are we just ignoring johann. am i insane. how has no one mentioned this. what’s up with johann

-

so all in all, again, rushed pacing, axing of a lot of very important plot points, shoddy visuals.

it did not make me relive the emotional journey of the suffering game and reunion tour. it inspired a vague nostalgia for the first time i experienced reunion tour, reminded me of how much i love the original show, and made me want to listen to the podcast again. especially reunion tour good god i love reunion tour. and it made me desperately wish for a good adaptation. i would do fucking anything for a good adaptation. the longing is making me sick. at least we always have podcast reunion tour.

the graphic novels are just so empty and soulless compared to the original show. i wouldn’t have an issue with changes, except that the changes, at every turn, gut the emotional core of the story that makes it so special, and ruin the strong themes throughout the story. they fundamentally misunderstand what is so good about balance. and also, like, basic storytelling. they’re poorly designed and poorly written, so they don’t even stand on their own as a different story. i'm not expecting an exact replica, but i am expecting good writing, good changes when necessary, and respect for the original beloved story. without those, the soul is gone, the spark of what makes balance so compelling and emotional.

i am dreading the story and song graphic novel. i don’t think it will be any good. the themes and character arcs and plot of the show have been mangled beyond belief so nothing is really meaningful anymore. can we go back to the johann thing for a moment—

[sussysatann]

MY THOUGHTS - HALLOWEEN EVENT: SPECTRAL SOIREE

[Spoilers for a Twisted Halloween: Spectral Soiree under the cut!!]

OKAY, SO...

I started playing TWST around February/March time this year, so I haven't been able to play the first Halloween event from last year. Though I'm missing context from what happened in the previous event, I still enjoyed playing through the story. There were some good moments during the story and really seemed like the stakes were high, but I can't help feel that the ending diminished that and left me feeling unsure. The ending twistune was super cute! It was nice seeing everyone come together and I did find the ending humorous, but also wished it had leaned into those high stakes more and have actual consequences for it?

I haven't seen many people posting about this event. I thought there'd be more posts about it since it's a new second part - I didn't realise until much later on that the EN server already had the event later last year. Why would they re-release it in August?? It's such a strange choice, but I've seen many people theorize they did it to prepare for the Masquerade event, which might be next (I will scream if it is i have been SO EXCITED to play this!!) and will hopefully happen either in September or October. We will have to wait and see...

Anyways,

Short story short, I liked the event. The never-ending Halloween concept was super cool and the ghost fights and possessions really upped the stakes, making for a really suspenseful and fun story. There were several memorable moments throughout, one of my favourites being when Leona and Ace were trying to get Floyd to not touch a possible dangerous artifact and Ace questioning Leona's entire party boat story afterwards. I really loved the group pairings in the spectral realm, it was so nice to see the different dynamics and interactions they had with one another. Riddle, Ruggie and Ortho's conversations about adventures and puzzles were so sweet!

Speaking of puzzles and escape rooms...

I can't help but feel a little bit pissed off at Lilia and Malleus for putting them through all this. But then again, they didn't know what was going down behind the scenes and weren't informed of the ghost fights, so they're not entirely in the wrong for that.

But they DID make it incredibly cryptic in the worst way possible, to the point where even the teachers were concerned. Students vanishing into thin air, appearing to be kidnapped, is not something that'll get taken lightly. Especially when Lilia was yelling outside Silver's dorm, seemingly getting kidnapped too. That really must've fucked him up, especially since no-one else heard him scream. I felt so sorry for him - he genuinely thought his father was in danger the entire time, only to find out he was helping Malleus host a grand party for the ghosts. Obviously I'm glad they ended up being okay but MAN that wasn't fair on him. Sebek as well - they both thought Lilia and Malleus were in peril and were so genuinely distraught over the whole situation, it made me pretty annoyed that they didn't think through Silver and Sebek's reaction to something like this.

On the one hand, it was the ghosts' fault for fighting and possessing students. On the other hand, Malleus and Lilia are also to blame for the setup of the 'prank'. And on the other other hand it was also technically the students' fault for fighting the ghosts in the first place, but when you're put into such a seemingly dangerous and unpredictable situation, you go straight into fight or flight mode. I don't blame them for reacting the way they did.

That aside, I also kinda wished that the event was actually that dangerous, that Lilia and Malleus really WERE possessed. Imagine if there was an actual boss fight. An actual enemy. Someone who genuinely DID want an eternal Halloween, and needed the mirror shards to create a mirror portal to the human realm and take over even more bodies of the living. A ghost uprising if you will.

Imagine the teachers and the few survivors having to fight off an entire army of possessed students with a genuine intent to harm.

Imagine Malleus and Lilia being genuine threats and holding the prefect and Grim captive while everyone is trying to fight back without overblotting.

...That might be a little overkill.

BUT.

It would've been interesting to see actual consequences arise from this. I can especially imagine the prefect being really affected by the Spectral Realm.

They're already in a world that's not their own, so being thrown into that world's literal afterlife would really mess them up - whether emotionally or maybe even physically. Maybe they get really sick once they get back, maybe they were (unknowingly?) on the verge of disappearing permanently. Maybe that's why they were so worried about joining Malleus and Lilia. Because they were scared of what could happen to them, Grim not really understanding that. I love that Ace was so concerned about them both, he really is a great friend and I kinda wished these concerns were brought up a bit more.

Anyways, if you've made it this far thank you for reading!!

Feel free to add on to this, I'd love to know your thoughts and opinions! ♡

[lutawolf]

Hi Luta!

Thank you so much for how you worded your feelings on the sex scene in ep 8. I didn’t read much of the novel but I got the same vibe you did, I definitely think the show made it seem less like a joke and a much higher stakes situation. I’m not a victim of SA nor do I have any experience in sex work so I wasn’t sure how to word my opinion in a way that was conscious of the fact that this was definitely (from Sky’s perspective) coercive.

I also think people are a little harsh on Prapai, he was making a joke (in his mind) about getting paid in sex. From what we see he’s pushy but not intimidating and has no problem picking people up when he wants sex. He had no context for Sky’s background or how sky would take his joke, so I don’t really blame him for sleeping with sky under those circumstances. From his perspective he met a cute guy and got him out of trouble, made a (definitely in poor taste) joke of a come on and the guy accepted. Consistently throughout them having sex he allows sky to set the pace and sky is an active and (apparently) enthusiastic participant, of course he thought they both had a good time! We couldn’t really expect more from him then that, considering he’s working with much less context than we as viewers are. He’s a fuck boy for sure but not a predator, he’s even shown in the episode to be a fairly considerate lover to his other hook ups.

Blegh sorry for the word vomit. I just am very frustrated about bad faith takes on what I saw as a poor choice in directorial/editing choices.

Thank you for giving me a reaction I can send to people to explain my thought process on the whole thing!! Im excited to see Pai grovel and wheedle his way into Sky’s heart as he learns more and realizes he needs to be mature for once! Here’s hoping this is a messy start to a good story

Hey nonnie!!!

Let me first say for my other readers here. I 100% respect anyone who saw the scene as sexual assault. The book could very well be covering my view point. I kept bringing up the book because I did want to help those who hadn't read it know that it isn't supposed to be sexual assault.

I truly believe the show handled this badly. Yet I'm in the mindset. It was handled badly but we know what it should be like. Let's move forward with that mindset. Hopefully we can salvage this.

To be fair guys. What is supposed to happen during sex in the book is that Sky is sad except when he has sex. That's what draws Pai in. Is this sad kid who lights up when having sex with him. Who is sensual and knows what he wants. I just don't think they were able to make that come across.

He's a total fuck boy. I can't wait to see the progress. I'm really excited to see this progress. This and the revenge part are the hardest part to transfer from book to show. The rest should be golden ✨️ So I'm looking forward to it.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my jumbled thoughts. Glad you enjoyed it! 💜💜💜

[squishmallow36]

Reading rumble Round 2

I chose to make a playlist for Dex. Is anyone surprised? I'm not.

@camelspit and @arson-anarchy-death if you don't want to read all of this, I don't blame you.

But before we begin: To help me put this playlist in a coherent order--which, to be fair, I doubt that it is. But it has been significantly worse--I used the circle of fifths. I’m just saying this hoping for extra credit. Basically I went and googled all of the tracks that I wanted to find what key they were in and if another song is the same key or an adjacent key on the circle to the right, then they’ll sound like less of an ear crime. The farther apart they are, the more disjointed they’ll sound. Anyway without further ado, the playlist: 

Sherwin and Johnathan - Arturo Cardelús

This one does not have lyrics because it is the score from the animated short In a Heartbeat by Beth Davis and Esteban Bravo. It is on YouTube for anyone interested. The plot is that there is redheaded disaster gay (Sherwin) whose heart flies out of his chest because of a cute guy (Jonathan) and then has to go chase it around. Bonus points for a happy ending. Not only does it sound like something Dex would do if it obeyed the laws of biology, Sherwin looks like Dex too. This is my most listened to track on Spotify and being that I cannot talk about Dex without at the very least a footnote about FedEx, even in mostly canonical contexts, it seems wrong to not include it here. An interesting thing to note is that there are technically 3 tracks that are the score; this one was the longest out of those and therefore allows for more development of the musical ideas and inducing more emotions for the listener, so it was the most reasonable choice. I would also like to mention that it was Kamiko’s FedEx In a Heartbeat au art that introduced me to this, so even if I did try to stay away from premade playlists to avoid plagiarism, the influence of other peoples’ very correct opinions are deeply entrenched. 

2. Meet the Elements - They Might Be Giants

Iron is a metal, you see it every day / Oxygen, eventually, will make it rust away / Carbon in its ordinary form is coal / Crush it together, and diamonds are born

Come on come on and meet the elements / May I introduce you to our friends, the elements? / Like a box of paints that are mixed to make every shade They either combine to make a chemical compound or stand alone as they are

Neon's a gas that lights up the sign for a pizza place / The coins that you pay with are copper, nickel, and zinc / Silicon and oxygen make concrete bricks and glass / Now add some gold and silver for some pizza place class

Come on come on and meet the elements / I think you should check out the ones they call the elements / Like a box of paints that are mixed to make every shade / They either combine to make a chemical compound or stand alone as they are / Team up with other elements making compounds when they combine / Or make up a simple element formed out of atoms of the one kind

Balloons are full of helium, and so is every star / Stars are mostly hydrogen, which may someday fuel your car / Hey, who let in all these elephants? / Did you know that elephants are made of elements? / Elephants are mostly made of four elements / And every living thing is mostly made of four elements / Plants, bugs, birds, fish, bacteria and men / Are mostly carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen and oxygen

Come on come on and meet the elements / You and I are complicated, but we're made of elements / Like a box of paints that are mixed to make every shade / They either combine to make a chemical compound or stand alone as they are / Team up with other elements making compounds when they combine / Or make up a simple element formed out of atoms of the one kind

Come on come on and meet the elements / Check out the ones they call the elements / Like a box of paints that are mixed to make every shade / They either combine to make a chemical compound or stand alone as they are

I originally thought of ASAP science’s Periodic Table for this spot. It has the melody of the William Tell overture, except it is about the periodic table and then the one on Spotify was not the updated one with all the official element names. I got sad, so They Might Be Giants won. Of course, Dex works at Slurps and Burps, so he is good at alchemy, as seen in KotLC and then almost never again. Alchemy is the Elvin version of chemistry, and, in fact, human chemistry is based on human alchemy from hundreds of years ago because there were some chemical reactions that worked. Just…not turning lead into gold like alchemists hoped. That takes radioactive decay and it is probably better that they did not figure out how to make an atomic bomb. To read far too deep into the lyrics, the speaker is looking at the elements as an outside observer only familiar with the concept, not one himself, and it is by no means out of TMBG’s style to project onto inanimate objects. If one is to postulate that in this case Dex is the speaker because it is the Dex playlist, then the elements referred to could be him trying to take a concept that he understands, like alchemy, and use it to understand a concept he does not, like Elvin society. In the line “come on, come on, and meet the elements,” he is likely trying to convince himself to interact with this society because even if he does not really want to be a part of it, he will still have to endure Foxfire for many more years and into the future because being a hermit is not a valid career path while he is still young. The lines, “And every living thing is mostly made of four elements / Plants, bugs, birds, fish, bacteria and men” can also be interpreted to mean that he wants to prove that he is just like everybody else on a molecular level despite the fact that he is the son of a bad match and should not have to deal with society’s nonsense. From another angle, this entire song could just be Dex infodumping to a new person, especially in the line, “They either combine to make a chemical compound or stand alone as they are,” where a compound is a friendship and the song ends with, “stand alone as they are,” the state that Dex will inevitably end the song with. Elements that are typically found alone in nature are usually metals, especially the expensive ones, and Dex is a Technopath, thus working with lots of different metallic parts due to their ability to conduct electricity. So from a chemistry perspective and a large leap of faith, it can be concluded that a) Dex is alone in this song and b) he will be forever alone, even when he is best friends with Sophie.

3. Foreigner - LEDGER

Τhe feast is set before me / It’s on plates of platinum / Βut all I taste is ashes and my lips are turning numb / Τhe smiles in the beauty and the promises Ι see / Glοry, hallelujah never said it came fοr free / Ring arοund the roses / Ι see through yοur poses / Αshes tο ashes / Ιt all comes falling dοwn

Ι thought I would belong right here / When Ι was younger / Βut there's something in the atmosphere / Whispers οf wοnder

Ι, I am a foreigner / Gοt a fire in my sοul, never giving up / Αnd I knοw I don't belοng right here / Ι knοw I don't belong right here / Fight till Ι make it hοme / And keep my eyes tο the skies even if Ι don’t / Αnd I knοw I don't belοng right here / Ι knοw I don't belong right here

Ηold οut your hand of riches and display yοur rοyalty / Ι'm fine with my bloodline in a different dynasty / Wοrship at the altar οf yοur vanity / Ι'll be in the Promised Land and let you be / Lοndοn bridge is falling dοwn / Μy fair lady holds her crοwn / Αshes tο ashes / Where's yοur saviοr now?

Ι thought I would belong right here / When Ι was younger / Βut there's something in the atmοsphere / Whispers οf wοnder

Ι, I am a foreigner / Gοt a fire in my sοul, never giving up / Αnd I knοw I don't belοng right here / Ι knοw I don't belong right here / Fight till Ι make it hοme / And keep my eyes tο the skies even if I don’t / Αnd I knοw I don't belοng right here / Ι knοw I don't belong right here

Ι, I fix my eyes / Οn the Island Ηeavens / Ι, I fix my eyes / Οn the Island Ηeavens / (Ι knοw I don't belong right here)

Ι, I am a foreigner / Gοt a fire in my sοul, never giving up / Αnd I knοw I don't belοng right here / Ι knοw I don't belong right here / Fight till Ι make it hοme / And keep my eyes tο the skies even if Ι don’t / Αnd I knοw I don't belοng right here / Ι knοw I don't belong right here

There is a lot I want to talk about here so chronological order is probably going to be the best. First of all, I am divorcing the original intentions of the song in order to fit my ramblings so please be aware of that. The first verse describes the Elvin world--being both incredibly glamourous with the “plates of platinum” but that is directly contrasted with the taste of “ashes,” showing how their wealth is hollow. The last line, “it all comes falling down,” is unsurprisingly referring to how the Elvin system is crumbling, and given the first person pronouns in the rest of the verse, it implies that Dex is the only one that sees it. I also want to believe that there was a time that Dex was not aware of the world’s problems, before his status as the son of a Bad Match was aware to him, which is the motivation behind, “I thought I would belong right here / when I was younger,” and that plays into the use of both the ring around the rosie and london bridge is falling down references--children’s rhymes because he’s looking back to a time when he was innocent, and he could very well have been around that age when he started to realise the inequalities he faces. The chorus is fairly self-evident that Dex is determined to fight to make the world a better place and even if he is unsuccessful, he is going to have hope. The line, “I know I don’t belong right here,” is repeated four times in each of the three choruses, and that is an extreme amount of repetition, even for song lyrics. That much emphasis on this concept demonstrates the vast extent to which Dex feels as though he does not belong. The second verse sees Dex accepting his station in life and telling society to go fuck itself a little bit. Instead of being outside the system like in the first verse, he’s actively mocking society, and he is above their standards because of it. He also calls out their “vanity” and given how materialistic the elves are, this both demonstrates his anger and ties back to the first verse with its, “I see through your poses.” There is not a whole lot to say past that point, as it is mostly repetition of ideas already heard, but overall I picked this song because I think Dex feels like he does not belong in the greater elvin society and it was the Ledger song that I had memorized that fit the best. 

4. Reach - Skillet

You were the only one to see / Secrets locked inside of me / You were the only one / So tell me where you've gone / I've lost a little more today / Nothing more you can take away / Can I believe you still? / I need something real

No one ever wants to feel like this / No one ever wants to feel like this

Where are you? I can't find you / Broke in two, left behind you / Reach for me (Reach for me) / I'm falling deep (I'm falling) / Promise me you're never leaving / I'm still here, broken, bleeding / Reach for me (Reach for me) / I'm falling deep / Reach for me

No one could ever get me more / Nothing could ever fix me more / Did I scare you away? / Don't say I'll be okay

No one ever wants to feel like this

Where are you? I can't find you / Broke in two, left behind you / Reach for me (Reach for me) / I'm falling deep (I'm falling) / Promise me you're never leaving / I'm still here, broken, bleeding / Reach for me (Reach for me) / I'm falling deep / Reach for me

No one ever wants to feel like this / No one ever wants to feel like this / No one ever wants to hurt like this / No one ever wants to hurt like this

Where are you? I can't find you / Broke in two, left behind you / Reach for me (Reach for me) / I'm falling deep (I'm falling) / Promise me you're never leaving / I'm still here, broken, bleeding / Reach for me (Reach for me) / I'm falling deep / Reach for me

Nobody wants to feel like this / Reach for me / Nobody wants to hurt like this / I'm falling deep / Reach for me

This is going to be a similar process to the previous song; divorcing the original intention and placing Dex as the speaker as it is dissected chronologically. The first two lines can be interpreted to be talking about either Sophie or Keefe. Sophie would make sense as being the “only one” as his first and best friend but Keefe knows that Rex is talentless, a gigantic secret. It is revealed early in Stellarlune, but there was a time it was an actual secret. Then this person disappears in the next two lines, in the Sophie case, having other things to worry about and the Keefe case, they literally run away. Many times. Dex’s trust has been breached by either one of them. He even says, “nothing more you can take away,” showing his expectations are absolutely on the floor because if there’s nothing else now, that one person is all he had and, yes, everybody in the Lost Cities is dealing with a lot, but poor Dexter. The repetition of “No one ever wants to feel like this,” does make it seem like he has experience with these feelings of being alone, not like it is new and I desperately want to give Dex a hug now, wow. But the really interesting thing is that those two lines were probably recorded separately because they sound farther away than the rest of the vocals. Skillet did a similar thing in “Falling Inside the Black,” and in both songs it serves to make it feel like the speaker is, moving farther and farther away from hope. Another thing to note about the construction is that there is a “Reach (Falling Deep Mix)” and it features Ledger from above as she is Skillet’s drummer and occasional vocalist. That version implies that the speaker is not alone in feeling alone, but this version does not, amplifying the loneliness. Returning to Dex, the chorus has the line, “Promise me you’re never leaving,” touching on how desperate Dex is for friends, even touching on how he is a bit clingy at times, especially in the beginning part of the series, but he’s competitive and people only have so much attention, so it makes sense that he wants as much of it as he can in order to not be abandoned. The second verse where it says, “No one could ever get me more / nothing could ever fix me more” also makes my soul hurt because it seems as though the person in the first verse has returned and Dex is blaming himself for Sophie/Keefe leaving him alone and causing all the suffering in the chorus. And it could very well apply to either Sophie or Keefe, Sophie experiencing similar loneliness during her time in the human world with no friends and Keefe only having Fitz as a friend when their friendship has had a wedge driven into it in recent times, so they are in the same boat of loneliness too. This song is definitely a little bit more speculation than being able to directly point to canonical details about Dex, but it has been representing him in my mind since my old FedEx playlist, so it belongs here.

5. Do You Remember? (The Other Half of 23) - The Maine

Do you remember / The other half of twenty three? / All lit up together / Full of guts / And dopamine / Invincible / Or so it seemed

Do you remember the days we were golden / We would surrender / To just letting go / For worse or for better / Far from pretenders / We said forever / Forever ago / Do you remember?

Do you remember oh the Bayside / Out on rockaway / In June? / We'd leave the lonesome heat behind / For better weather / Sneaking out / And getting stoned / A time or two / Thought we were clever / But I know they knew

Do you remember the days we were golden / We would surrender / To just letting go / For worse or for better / Far from pretenders / We said forever / Forever ago / Do you remember?

Well do you remember / Oh the Bayside / Out on rockaway in June / Yeah on the coast where we got stoned / A time or two / Had a toast / For all the hopeful things we'd do / Well do you / Do you remember? / Do you remember? / Tell me, do you remember?

Do you remember the days we were golden / We would surrender / To just letting go / For worse or for better / Far from pretenders / We said forever / Forever ago / Do you remember?

Overall, this song is just looking back into the past at better times. If we presume Dex is the speaker, as has been done previously, it could be that he is looking back at his and Sophie’s friendship before everything got so complicated. That is, it is a late-book Dex thinking about early-book Dex. The last two lines of the first verse, “Invincible / or so it seemed,” points to it being before the kidnapping because that means it is before any of the near-death events that plague Sophie throughout the series. It is a case of invincibility until proven otherwise. It could also be that late-book Dex has realised that just because elves have an indefinite lifespan does not necessarily mean they are immortal. Early-book Dex was born after Jolie had already died and thus would not have understood the toll her death took on Grady and Edaline. Another line that is interesting is in the chorus, “We said forever / forever ago.” And this can very easily be applied to Sophie and Dex’s friendship as they have said they’ll be best friends forever multiple times, even to Dex’s comphet dismay. In the second chorus, I am not going to imply that Sophie and Dex “got stoned” at any point, but I am not going to say definitively that did not happen. Elves have weird plants and at least some of those will contain psychoactive compounds, so it would make sense to occur within the universe but early book Sophie is twelve, so I do not think she would be into that. The last two lines in the second chorus, “thought we were clever but I know they knew,” could refer to any of the various times Sophie has done something that was less than recommended by Grady and Edaline or her bodyguards. I do not have a specific example in mind, but it makes sense that Sophie and Dex would sneak away and believe that they did not get caught when they very much did, but (insert parental figure here) wanted to let them be normal teenagers for five minutes. The repetition of “Do you remember” throughout the song, especially at the bridge where it is most concentrated, shows how Dex is desperately trying to hang on to their relationship once again and reminding Sophie of all the good times they have had. It is also likely that he is the one replaying the good times in his mind and trying to transmit the idea of hanging out with him again into her brain despite him not being a Telepath. He is using his Jedi mind powers. As for the reason I picked this song in particular, I am currently very deep in a The Maine phase which is entirely due to Tumblr and that was enough motivation to go search their discography, or at least the albums to which I have listened so far.

6. Sic Semper Tyrannis - Mae

Tonight, a blackout / A panic attack plan with no time to figure it out / We've issued a code red, already dead / No hope in sight, no beacon of light that said

Don't give it away / You want the truth, get some answers now

All hands on deck we're going down / All hands on deck we're going down

Screaming the end is near / So rest in peace ‘cause we're the ones that put ourselves here / Water rises now hold your breath and count down / This ship of sinners and saints are just waiting to drown

Don't give it away / You want the truth, get some answers now

All hands on deck we're going down / No plan but ours can save us now / So try and understand / Since we got lost and we get tossed around / All hands on deck we're going down

Of all the chaos and order / There’s no drift to catch / No law of the unknown / To take refunds on your borders where / The truth is that we all must die alone

All hands on deck we're going down / No plan but ours can save us now / So try and understand / Since we got lost and we get tossed around / All hands on deck we're going down

I will fully admit that I did not have a very long thought process for this one. It was originally on the official KotLC Nightfall playlist and it says, “All hands on deck.” This is very obviously a reference to the first book when Fitz calls Dex Deck, and therefore this song is about Dex. A lot of lyrics are vaguely reminiscent of canon events, mostly the larger battle scenes but are not that specific to Dex himself. If I had to put it in a canon spot specifically, I would probably put it in or around Ravagog at the end of Neverseen with all the boat imagery and the line, “You want the truth, get some answers now,” referring to how the council covered up the first cases of the gnomish plague, and the “answers” are the, albeit fake, cure. The line “The truth is that we all must die alone,” has two implications behind it. First, it could refer to the fact that Calla sacrificed herself and while she was not technically alone in the loneliness sense, she was the only one to die. In the original Nightfall context, however, it most certainly refers to the aftermath of the Dexphie kiss everyone has collectively tried to block from their minds except for the person maintaining the registry files, which is kind of weird. The imagery of the actual ship also may reference ships in the fandom sense and once again refer to the disaster that is Dexphie. Both of these interpretations are fairly major events in Dex’s life, as after Ravagog, he is unbanished and after the Dexphie kiss we don’t get to see him for a while and he is probably still dealing with the rejection. As for the name of the song, it is unsurprisingly Latin and translates to “thus always to tyrants.” It essentially means that tyrannical leaders will eventually be overthrown, so the Elvin council or King Dimitar are equally arguable. 

This is unrelated to the narrative and Dex but the last line of the second chorus says, “This ship of sinners and saints are just waiting to drown,” but the subject and verb do not agree in number. “Of sinners and saints” is a prepositional phrase, meaning it acts as an adjective or adverb when taken together. This case, it is an adjective, but in either, it can be removed with no grammatical change. That leaves, “the ship are just waiting to drown.” If there were multiple ships, then it would be fine, but the plural “sinners and saints” does not mean the verb is also plural! Use worbs correctly!

7. Mouth of the River - Imagine Dragons 

On the mouth of the river / On the mouth of the river / Oh the mouth of the river

I want to live a life like that / Live the life of the faithful one / Wanna bow to the floor / With everybody else want to be someone / I want to make some love / I don't want no enemies / It's the curse of a man / Always living life, living life, living just to please

On the mouth of the river / And the wrath of the giver / With the hands of a sinner / On the mouth of the river (woah) / On the mouth of the river (woah) / And the wrath of the giver (woah) / With the hands of a sinner (woah) / On the mouth of the river

Oh I'm alkaline / I'm always keeping to the basics / I'm overboard / I'm self-destructive and self-important / And I'm anxious / Oh I'm self-assured / I'm nervous and I'm pacing, oh I'm pacing

On the mouth of the river / And the wrath of the giver / With the hands of a sinner / On the mouth of the river (woah) / On the mouth of the river (woah) / And the wrath of the giver (woah) / With the hands of a sinner (woah) / On the mouth of the river / On the mouth of the river / On the mouth of the river

And I am going under / Oh I am going under / I am going under / Oh I am going under / I am going under / Oh I

On the mouth of the river / And the wrath of the giver / With the hands of a sinner / On the mouth of the river (woah) / On the mouth of the river (woah) / And the wrath of the giver (woah) / With the hands of a sinner (woah) / On the mouth of the river / On the mouth of the river / On the mouth of the river

Did I think of this song because of the chemistry joke? Yes. We will get there eventually, don’t worry. Overall, this song is about the end of an era and a major change in life, using the imagery of a river opening into the ocean. To me, that places this in vaguely the Nightfall era and because I did try to keep this chronological while also taking into account key signatures and genres--yes, putting this in order was a fun time--I put this right after “Sic Semper Tyrannis.” The first verse overall is, presuming Dex is the speaker, mostly just looking into the future at all the possibilities that exist and wanting to take full advantage of all of them. The line, “Always living life, living life, living just to please,” does, surprisingly, relate to Dex’s position within society. Hear me out: he has been trying his entire life to prove himself in order to not be seen as a waste of a birth fund. He is not working on Technopath gadgets like the ability restrictor for self-fulfillment. He did not join Team Valiant because he is a council bootlicker. A lot of his motivation is split between the belief that the government is both dumb and stupid and a need to demonstrate that he is not dumb and stupid. As for the chorus, “with the wrath of the giver,” is doing a lot at the same time. First, there is the stark contrast between “wrath,” a negative trait, and “giver,” a noun that should be positive. In the Elvin world, this could be society. They collectively have given everybody a birth fund so that they do not have to work ever and because they can sometimes think Dex is not deserving of one, their wrath has turned against him. Then there is the line “With the hands of a sinner.” It would be funny if it was simply a euphemism that he is gay and doing something with those hands but I doubt that is the most logical explanation. Genius lyrics suggests that it could be an admission of mistakes the speaker has made in his life, so that could refer to the ability restrictor in Everblaze, almost killing Fitz in Neverseen, or something else. But now that he is moving into this new era, he is going to put the past behind him. And, finally, we get to the real reason why I wanted this song: “Oh I'm alkaline / I'm always keeping to the basics.” The joke is that alkaline is another word for basic. On the pH scale. Its purpose is to say that while this is a new era, not everything will have to change, his core values will stay the same. The rest of the verse utilizes contrast, which represents all the different ways the speaker’s life can go in this new era of possibilities, both in a positive and negative way. Finally the bridge is a repetition of “I am going under,” which goes back to the water motifs used throughout the song to represent how this new era, being that it is the ocean, has stronger currents, so it is more difficult to stay afloat. All of these possibilities for the future are too much, but that is not enough to keep him in the same place he has always been. 

8. Childhood Dreams - Unknown Brain

Sittin', sittin', sittin' / At the same old workplace / Was the point of this chase / To just bite our own tail? / Wishin', wishin, wishin' / That something would change / That we could turn back the page / And live like our favorite fairy tales

So alive, so free in / One of our fantasies / Flying on dragons through sky high cities

These are our childhood dreams / It's how it used to be / When we were kings and queens / In our childhood dreams / Our childhood dreams / Our childhood dreams

Feelin', feelin', feelin' / I feel so lightweight / When I think back to those days / But then we went our own ways / I'm thinkin', thinkin', thinkin' / About what needs to change / That we could turn back the page / And live like our favorite fairy tales

So alive, so free in / One of our fantasies / Digging up treasures and sailing 'cross the seas

These are our childhood dreams / It's how it used to be / When we were kings and queens / In our childhood dreams / Our childhood dreams / Our childhood dreams / Our childhood dreams

These are our childhood dreams / It's how it used to be / When we were kings and queens / In our childhood dreams

Continuing the theme of reflection into the past that a lot of songs I have chosen address, this one specifically targets the feeling of childlike innocence before reality sets in. Before the lyrics even begin, the intro is high and sounds really bright, evoking that sense of childhood even before the first verse comes in and describes the stagnancy of work in the adult world which does not seem to have any clear purpose. The world, not the lyrics. Then the next four lines bagun reflecting back into the speaker’s “favorite fairy tales.” This includes dragons and kings and queens and pirates, which are all easy to extrapolate that our speaker is queer if we so choose because pirates? Gay. Dragons? Ace. And given that I have many headcanons surrounding Dex’s queerness so it all works out. All of these concepts are also not found within the Elvin world, so far as we have met. Fitz has Mr. Snuggles but I have bigfoot Squishmallows, so that is no guarantee that dragons are real. Just like human kids, elvin kids would likely be drawn to daydreaming about fantastical stories and given that the Lost Cities is based in Germanic fairy tales and such, they will probably have similar concepts of fantasy. In the second verse, the rhyme scheme actually changes, showing a slight shift in tone into a bit more of a desperate desire to return to those simpler times. The speaker says he “feel[s] so lightweight” so that could be that he has completely disconnected from reality into this reverie and that could also be the reason the rhyme shifts--he is not present enough to find it. It could also be that words are hard and Unknown Brain is German but that’s not an answer I want to accept. As for how the concept as a whole fits into Dex’s life, as he canonically has never had a friend before Sophie, but I propose this: when he was young--like, 3,4,5--the triplets would have been babies or toddlers, so Juline would have her hands full and a half with them and Kesler would be trying to keep the store running. Dex could very well have wandered around Atlantis--not too far, just to a nearby park or something, and found another kid of around the same age and they were besties for an entire hour. We have seen that Fitz was not aware that Dex was the son of a Bad Match when they first meet, so that means it is plausible that the responsible adult supervisor might not realise who Dex is, therefore allowing Dex and the other unnamed small child to have fun and forget about reality. This would ideally be young enough that Dex has no recollection of it, ensuring that the no friends rule remains unviolated. I might have a terrible memory but I think my first one is in kindergarten, so I would have been 5 or 6 so anything in the 3-5 range would be plausible. I originally found this song because of Kamiko’s speedpaint background music that I have collected into a playlist and then listened to a Lot. I think this one was on a Dex? Maybe? That might be why I associate it with him. Listen, I did my best to avoid outside influences but I can only do so much. 

9. Compass (bonus track) - Two Steps from Hell

[image id: the original Norwegian lyrics are on the left and the English translation is on the right. Let me know if you want me to transcribe them. End id] 

We are in agreement that Dex listens to video game soundtracks, right? I believe TSFH was recommended to me on YouTube because I listened to too many of that kind of thing. TSFH’s discography largely sounds like a video game or, really, any other form of scored media, especially one that has a fantasy setting. Although I did hear one track in my US History class in a Vietnam War documentary thing and then spent the entirety of my lunch trying to track it down. It was “Protectors of the Earth” if you were curious. Dex also has a tendency to watch human movies, even if I have not reread the series to finally track down whether his mother or father is the human film nerd because I am not convinced it is consistent throughout the series. Regardless, he has watched them enough to know at least some English but not enough to know what French sounds like. It could be expanded that he would listen to music in other languages too because apparently this playlist is both what he might listen to and music that is about him now. If he only has a decent grip on 

English, it would be like what happens when I listen to music in Spanish: I can recognize one (1) word and feel proud of myself. So he, like me, could listen to a song that is in Norwegian and not understand anything. To be fair, he might be able to tell that kompass = compass in English but why would he need to know compass? What movies have compass in their dialogue? Pirates of the Caribbean? Maybe? I mean both of his parents are bi so having the bi awakening™ movie would be on brand. The fact that the song is in Norwegian is also tied to the larger KotLC narrative. And by larger KotLC narrative I mean when Forkle definitely did not fuck a horse. I don’t think I have any specific lines I want to pick out and when highlighting is more trouble than it would be worth and this doc is already much longer than it ever needed to be, I have no reason to do it. It’s just vaguely inspirational and Dex needs a little bit of that before the next song. 

10. When She Loved Me - Sarah McLachlan in Toy Story 2 

When somebody loved me / Everything was beautiful / Every hour we spent together / Lives within my heart

And when she was sad / I was there to dry her tears / And when she was happy, so was I / When she loved me

Through the summer and the fall / We had each other, that was all / Just she and I together / Like it was meant to be

And when she was lonely / I was there to comfort her / And I knew that she loved me

So the years went by / I stayed the same / But she began to drift away / I was left alone / Still, I waited for the day / When she'd say, "I will always love you"

Lonely and forgotten / Never thought she'd look my way / And she smiled at me and held me / Just like she used to do / Like she loved me / When she loved me

When somebody loved me / Everything was beautiful / Every hour we spent together / Lives within my heart / When she loved me

Okay first of all get the tissues before listening to this song because dear Exile this song makes me feel things. Toy Story 3 is supposed to be the one that causes emotions, not Toy Story 2. But, alas. I am here feeling things nonetheless. In an attempt to not conform to the template of analysis then my reasoning, today the reasoning will be first. Dex’s last name is Dizznee. I kind of had to include a Disney song somewhere in the playlist. This spot was originally going to be Part of Your World but I felt as though this fit Dex’s characterization a little more and both characters have red hair so it all works out. Also, before you start complaining, technically Toy Story 2 was released several years before Disney bought Pixar but it is under the Disney umbrella now, so it is a Disney song for my intents and purposes. The main message of the song is nowhere near the most corkboard conspiracy theory of any of the songs here. I think that honor goes to Meet the Elements. It is once again a song about Sophie leaving Dex behind. In contrast to Do You Remember? (The Other Half of 23) the speaker is resigned to his fate instead of trying to remind the other person of the good times they have had. I want to pick out one line in the fifth stanza, “When she'd say, ‘I will always love you.’” This once again ties back to Do You Remember?, referencing how “We said forever / forever ago,” developing this theme of the end of a relationship juxtaposed against a false eternity. Dex is simply looking back at his memories of them together and realising that there’s nothing he can do to go back to those days they were golden. The sixth stanza is also interesting because it says, “And she smiled at me and held me / Just like she used to do,” which is also reflected in canon. Dex’s page time has increased since its all time lows in Nightfall through Legacy, but it is still largely focused on what he can do to further the plot, not how he can develop his character, so in the way that Jessie’s owner is holding her to donate her, Sophie’s relationship with Dex has a similar hollowness. Canonically, he has become closer friends with Keefe in more recent books, so he is aware of this process and is trying to fill the void, but it will never be the same as it was when they were younger. 

11. The Communists Have the Music - They Might Be Giants

I got handed an Ayn Rand sandwich / Straight from a can it tasted so bland / I asked a lass to pass me a glass / Of Engel's Conditions of the Working Class / Right away they dragged me to the committee / To explain my un-American activity / They're gonna see they made a mistake / If they'd only let me play my mixtape

I'm not partial to the martial / Or the plutocrats in their beaver hats / And the fascists have the outfits / But I don't care for the outfits / What I care about is music / And the communists have the music

I hear a melody / And just as suddenly / I know who I'm / Supposed to be / I don't need a rationale / To sing the Internationale / I only need to plug in the headphone jack / So I can listen to my backing track

I'm not jealous of the zealous / Or anarchics with guitar picks / And the fascists have their outfits / But I don't care for the outfits / What I care about is music / And the communists have the music / Yes the communists have the music / Oh the communists have the music

I hear a melody / And just as suddenly / I know who I'm / Supposed to be / I'm not partial to the martial / Or the plutocrats in their beaver hats / And the fascists have the outfits / But I don't care for the outfits / What I care about is music / And the communists have the music

And finally we return to TMBG! And this song does not require a whole box of tissues! Good things all around. It has been a while since “Meet the Elements” so it is nice to be back. And, no, this is very much not their only song that has lyrics in a similar vein of ‘stuff you might not want to advertise you listen to’ while also writing the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Hot Dog song. So have fun knowing that now. Moving on to the actual song: it is well documented that Dex does not like the Elvin government or society very much. You know what might put a stop to the Matchmaking system? Communism. Everybody is equal and then there is no such thing as Bad Matches being discriminated against or Vackers being better than everybody. It is more than just universal basic income because they already have that in the form of the birth funds; it is a complete shift in ideology. Talents will no longer be perceived as better than skills and some talents will no longer be more highly valued than others. Take, for example, how Tam’s abilities as a shade have been morphed into a stereotype where he admits canonically wears a lot of black because of it. In fanon andin Keefe’s mind, he seems more emo when he is, in reality, closer to punk. And now it is tin foil hat theory time. The “plutocrats in their beaver hats” are pretty obviously representing the council because I do not see a reason why they would not give themselves immense wealth even above the birth funds. They are in charge and that is enough for me to believe they are absurdly wealthy. Then, this probably will not hold up very long but there is a rebel group that is known for its “outfits,” and that’s the Neverseen. Ideologically it does not make much sense for the Neverseen to be Fascists because everyone in the Neverseen is gay but one has to admit the outfits are certainly a defining feature. Then we know Dex has joined the Black Swan and when a member of the Black Swan knows the end is nigh, they can send out a Swan song--so Dex supports the Black Swan and, they “have the music,” they’re the communists in the song. I was going to put the USSR anthem right after this just to be funny but I didn’t feel like explaining my choices in a long paragraph after spending a whole playlist spot on it and, besides it was in a completely different key so I had a reason to not do it. 

12. Uprising - Muse

Paranoia is in bloom / The PR transmissions will resume / They'll try to push drugs that keep us all dumbed down / And hope that we will never see the truth around / (So come on)

Another promise, another scene / Another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed / And all the green belts wrapped around our minds / And endless red tape to keep the truth confined / (So come on)

They will not force us / They will stop degrading us / They will not control us / We will be victorious / (So come on)

Interchanging mind control / Come, let the revolution take its toll / If you could flick the switch and open your third eye / You'd see that we should never be afraid to die / (So come on)

Rise up and take the power back / It's time the fat cats had a heart attack / You know that their time's coming to an end / We have to unify and watch our flag ascend / (So come on)

They will not force us / They will stop degrading us / They will not control us / We will be victorious / (So come on)

They will not force us / They will stop degrading us / They will not control us / We will be victorious / (So come on)

Yeah, Dex is in his ‘hate the government’ phase and I can’t really blame him. The first verse says, “Paranoia is in bloom / The PR transmissions will resume.” The paranoia is mostly referring to the Neverseen in the Lost Cities and the fact that people are worried about them. But this threat can most certainly be used to hide the fact that the council is not very good at their jobs. It is largely not malicious, but sometimes it is. The PR transmissions are probably going to refer to the updates that the council will give the public about the situation and the fact that they are trying to project a feeling of safety. They have opened and closed Foxfire so many times, and each time it reopens, it is not truly safe, prodigies have just lost too much time out of their learning. When the chorus says, “They will not control us,” it is referring to the council. They have an immensely tight hold on where their citizens are allowed to go via their registry pendants. Not only do they report coordinates, there are also registry files with incredibly detailed accounts of the wearer’s life. The second stanza refers to “endless red tape,” and while there is not literal red tape throughout the series, a lot of what Sophie and co. want to know is locked behind layers and layers of secrecy, especially including the caches. The last line in the fourth stanza is, “You'd see that we should never be afraid to die.” Considering that Dex has almost died at least once during the kidnapping and has been in near-death situations almost constantly for the next two years, death is very quickly becoming less and less of an abstract entity and more of just something that just exists. Not a whole lot of characters have died, but the threat behind the concept of death is quickly becoming less relevant. Fitz sealed his brother away to die and the trauma of that is nowhere near explored enough. Then, in the fifth stanza, there is the line, “It's time the fat cats had a heart attack.” As previously established in The Communists Have the Music, the council is going to be the richest faction so, yeah, this line is very much ‘eat the rich’-coded. The “fat cats” also implies that those in charge are lazy, and given that the council takes a very long time to react to new developments, this is an apt description. I doubt heart attacks exist in the medical literature of the Lost Cities, but replace that with an equivalent they would have, like a mind break, and the metaphor holds. Finally, another line in the chorus, “they will not force us,” could be informed by Dex’s experience with the council and the ability restrictor in Everblaze when he was forced to put it on Sophie’s head. The outro guitar part is also very long, reflecting the length the series, and therefore the length of the conflict against the government that they have been addressing since book 1.

13. Bring Me to Life - Evanescence 

How can you see into my eyes like open doors? / Leading you down into my core / Where I've become so numb / Without a soul / My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold  / Until you find it there and lead it back home

Wake me up inside (save me) / Call my name and save me from the dark (wake me up) / Bid my blood to run (I can't wake up) / Before I come undone (save me) / Save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without / You can't just leave me  / Breathe into me and make me real / Bring (bring) me (me) to life

Wake me up inside (save me) / Call my name and save me from the dark (wake me up) / Bid my blood to run (I can't wake up) / Before I come undone (save me) / Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life / I've been living a lie / There's nothing inside / Bring me to life

Frozen (frozen) inside without your touch / Without your love, darling / Only (only) you are the life among the dead / All of this time, I can't believe I couldn't see / Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me / I've been sleeping a thousand years, it seems / Got to open my eyes to everything / Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul  / Don't let me die here

(There must be something more) bring me to life / Wake me up inside (save me) / Call my name and save me from the dark (wake me up) / Bid my blood to run (I can't wake up) / Before I come undone (save me) / Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life / I've been living a lie / There's nothing inside / Bring me to life

Oh, look. It’s another song about Dex and Sophie except this time it’s vaguely romantic-coded. Oh well. Don't think too hard about it. At least it’s good for the key progression and that is why it is here. Also because it’s a banger of a song. First verse-when Dex and Sophie first meet. Dex’s “spirit’s sleeping somewhere cold” because he is lonely and Sophie can see him like no one else in the Elvin world can partially because she had no friends until that point and also because she does not carry the prejudices that are ingrained into Elvin society. Second verse-Dex has been abandoned once again. It is very sad. We have been over this. When the speaker says, “save me from the dark,” in the chorus, it can be the same metaphorical darkness all the way back in Reach. The speaker also says, “save me from the nothing I’ve become,” implying that they feel hollow. Now, hear me out--that’s code for get the tin foil hats--what if that hollowness is just the façade that Dex is presenting in order to fit into Elvin society in the form of Team Valiant. We know he has built weapons before and he is not the biggest advocate of keeping the status quo, so in order to fulfill his duties as a member of the nobility, only a part of his actual personality is allowed to shine through. And because he is presenting himself to a hollow world, he himself has to seem hollow. In the bridge, the line, “Got to open my eyes to everything,” could be referring to opening his eyes to the truth that the Vackers are not all as maliciously pompous as a younger Dex wanted to believe. He is opening his eyes to the fact that the world is not just in black and white, but shades of grey too. Murder is an acceptable grey when its owner has pink hair and bakes goodies. :) The death motifs are also very comfortable at this point, to the point that necromancy does seem plausible, and I know it’s metaphorical, but Forkle sort of came back from the dead at one point, so I’m not going to immediately write it off. All of the calls of “Bring me to life,” are once again a plea for someone to find him in the darkness and help him out of it, but given some of the other songs on this playlist, I find that unlikely. 

14. Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Some folks are born made to wave the flag / Hoo, they're red, white and blue / And when the band plays "Hail to the chief" / Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord

It ain't me, it ain't me / I ain't no senator's son, son / It ain't me, it ain't me / I ain't no fortunate one, no

Some folks are born silver spoon in hand / Lord, don't they help themselves, Lord? / But when the taxman come to the door / Lord, the house lookin' like a rummage sale, yeah

It ain't me, it ain't me / I ain't no millionaire's son, no, no / It ain't me, it ain't me / I ain't no fortunate one, no

Yeah-yeah, some folks inherit star-spangled eyes / Hoo, they send you down to war, Lord / And when you ask 'em, "How much should we give?" / Hoo, they only answer, "More, more, more, more"

It ain't me, it ain't me / I ain't no military son, son, Lord / It ain't me, it ain't me / I ain't no fortunate one, one

It ain't me, it ain't me / I ain't no fortunate one, no, no, no / It ain't me, it ain't me / I ain't no fortunate son, no, no, no / It ain't me, it ain't me...

And to round off the playlist, we visit the 1960s. With that context, it becomes clear that the song is very obviously referencing the Vietnam conflict. But that does not mean I cannot relate it to Dex. The first verse is very obviously describing people that are patriotic for their countries in a political sense. This is decidedly /not/ Dex and the way that it is presented in third person also means that the original speaker is the same way. The second verse then shifts to rich people, which while the Lost Cities have the birth fund system, Dex decidedly does not have the privilege that comes with wealth because there is no privilege that comes with wealth. Fame is wealth and he is in deep debt from that point of view. It’s also interesting that the rich people in the second verse are able to make their house look “like a rummage sale” to avoid taxes. This could parallel with the Vacker family trying to cover up their connections to the troll hive in and after Flashback, and it does not seem out of the question that other families would have similar secrets they want to cover up in the same way in order to present the best image possible. 

The third paragraph returns to the idea of patriotism, this time focusing less on individual choices and more of bringing others into the system even if they weren’t inclined to agree initially. It’s also much more inherited of a trait than in the first verse. The second lines of each of the respective choruses refer to the sons of senators, millionaires, and people in the military, and given that Dex, and the original speaker, is not part of one of the aforementioned groups, he has no reason to want to participate in the conflict on the side of the government. Fitz does seem to fit these archetypes very well--on the surface, at least--and given how Dex and Fitz are foils for each other, Dex is the opposite of the hypothetical people described. Overall, this song is basically just Dex telling the Elvin system to go fuck itself and I think that is an important message for him to have. It’s a delightfully angry way to end a playlist that started with soft piano and strings while still being in the same key, so it all can be played on a loop. I was first introduced to this song by my US History class when we had to pick a song from the 60s that addressed protesting against society and compare that to a song from today. Even if the context has changed significantly from then until now, a lot of the themes hold steady and are able to be translated into the Lost Cities. 

If you somehow made it this far without skipping several songs, good job. I don’t think I could’ve done it and I’m the dumbass that wrote it. :) sorry about this; I never thought this would end up this long. Anyway I think I'm out of words for a while so bye have a nice day

[michelangelinden]

hii hello i have a winter prompt from the list!! i’m so curious what you’d write for number 16 with willie - i can totally picture them being on either side of that scenario lol. hope you’re having a good winter/holiday season✨

Hehe, great choice!!

Here is 16. You caught me building a snowman over a fire hydrant because some jerk keeps plowing them down with his car and you decided to help with Willie, and also Alex for you <33 (but like, from the other perspective)

The prompt is from this list by @innytoes! Thank you @legolasghosty for beta reading

Willex. 1.7k words. rated T (for swearing). Warning: cop mention (but in a humorous context).

As soon as Willie steps onto the part of the sidewalk that is no longer frozen over and slippery, he breaks out into a run. Beanie next to him quickly realizes what’s happening and joins him, leaning forward as she speeds up next to him on all four legs, tongue lolling out of her mouth.

“Yes, let’s go!” Willie almost shouts, her leash gripped tightly in his hand. Their steps are careful, even though the walkway has enough grip for them to run, but he still feels his chest start to glow with carefreeness at running through the cold like this, their dog at their side.

Beanie barks excitedly.

“I agree!” Willie giggles before slowing down when he sees the end of the path, sadly leading into a snowed over part of the sidewalk. He’s breathing heavily and so is Beanie as she bounces around them, still full of energy. They wish they could’ve taken her to the meadow, but he was scared of anything sharp hiding under the snow. So a long walk around the neighborhood had to be enough.

Once he’s caught his breath, he finally takes in the surroundings a bit better, and their eyes fall on a figure not too far away, crouched on the ground, building a snowman at the edge of the sidewalk—right where Willie knows there is supposed to be a fire hydrant.

They can’t help but let out a short laugh. The action is so vile, hiding a fire hydrant inside a snowman, but the guy building it looks to be around Willie’s age and like he’s on a mission, so it seems unlikely he’s just doing it for an ill prank. Curiosity gets the better of him.

Their shoes crunch satisfyingly in the snow when Willie and Beanie approach the guy, and it’s loud enough to announce their presence. The guy looks up, eyes landing on Beanie first, then traveling higher until they catch Willie’s. Willie is momentarily distracted by how adorable he looks, cheeks and nose flushed pink from the cold, blond hair sticking out underneath a light blue knitted hat, matching the light blue scarf around his neck. They half expect him to be wearing matching mittens as well, but his hands, currently glued to the snowman, are bare, equally, if not more pink than his face.

“Hi,” Willie says lamely when he comes to a stop in front of him.

“Hello,” the guy responds, but he sounds a bit unsure. It’s fair, Willie thinks, they just approached him out of nowhere. He has to say though, the confusion looks cute too.

Willie nods at the snowman. “What are you doing?”

The guy blinks at him. He looks at the snowman, then back at Willie. “Building—a snowman?”

That—yeah, fine, Willie walked into that. “Around a fire hydrant?”

The guy’s eyes widen, realizing he’s been caught, and he squares his shoulders. Then he narrows his eyes just the tiniest bit. “Are you a cop?”

A surprised laugh bubbles out of Willie. “No,” he says, shaking his head with a grin, “not a cop, just walking my dog.” They lift the leash still in their hand and Beanie perks up at the movement. “I’m on my way back and saw you and got curious, that’s all.”

The guy’s eyes fall back onto Beanie, obediently sitting at Willie’s side with her eyes round and patient, and his gaze softens. Willie shifts, drawing his attention away from the dog and back on them.

“Any reason you’re building your snowman around a fire hydrant? Or—just felt like up for some mayhem?” Willie asks, amusement still clear in his voice.

The guy sighs. He brushes his hands dry on his thighs and then finally gets up, standing opposite Willie. He’s taller than them, shoulders broad in his wool-lined denim jacket, but stands hunched in on himself enough for the height difference to be barely noticeable. Willie finds himself wondering if it comes from insecurities or from having shorter friends.

“There’s this guy who keeps plowing over snowmen the kids in the neighborhood are building,” he explains.

Willie pulls a face. “What a jerk.”

The guy—Willie’s guy—nods firmly. “Right? What a jerk.” He huffs. “Me and my friend’s little brother wanted to put a stop to it by, yeah, doing this, but he bailed on me last minute.”

“Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman,” Willie comments, “stopping the bad guys one snowman at a time.”

It causes a chuckle to fall from the guy’s lips and his chin drops to his chest. When he looks up again, his eyes meet Willie’s, and Willie can’t help but feel a little bit of giddy excitement bubble up in his chest.

“If you want to call it that, I guess, yeah.” He lifts a hand to run it through his hair, Willie assumes, but stops short when he remembers he’s wearing a hat. He pats it a little awkwardly.

“Want some help?” Willie asks. So far the snowman is not more than a big lump of snow. Recognizable as a work-in-progress, but probably not attractive enough to plow it over with a car.

The guy looks a little unsure, Willie almost wants to take his offer back, but then he nods. “Yeah, why not. Then we might get it done before he comes back and notices the plan. Thank you.”

Willie smiles at him. “Of course. Can’t have him getting away with being a jerk.” This time they share a quick chuckle.

Willie secures Beanie’s leash around a street lamp. He doubts she’d make a run for it, but he doesn’t want to risk it, and he also doesn’t want her to accidentally ruin their work by being excited. She whines sadly at being so far away from them, even though it’s only a few yards really, but Willie kisses her head and promises to be back soon.

“What’s your dog’s name?” the guy asks once they start to get to work. He plops the head on top of the snow lump and Willie begins to connect the two elements with more snow.

“Green Bean,” He responds. He notices her perking up again at the mention of her name.

The guy frowns. “Your dog is called Green Bean?”

Willie chuckles. While that’s the usual reaction they get, they hadn’t expected the guy to ask so outright, seeming too anxious for that, but it’s almost like he couldn’t help it.

“Yep, Green Bean. Beanie for short.”

“…why?”

Willie smiles. “Cause she’s the cutest bean out there.” The guy stares at him blankly at the joke. “Also goes with my cat’s name, ‘Zucchini’.”

Now the guy sputters out a laugh. “Sure, a dog called Green Bean and a cat called Zucchini.” He looks over at Beanie, grin still bright on his face. “That’s actually really cute.”

“Thanks,” Willie says proudly.

The guy seems to hesitate, then opens his mouth again. “My parents have a cat called ‘Balthazar’ but he hates me, has tried to bite me too many times.”

Willie sucks in a breath through his teeth. “Ouch, that sucks.”

The guy shrugs, adding another wad of snow to the top of their snowman’s head. “I just avoided him as best as I could.”

“Valid.” Willie nods. “Are you from around the neighborhood?” Willie asks. He pokes a hole into the head to push in the carrot the guy has brought as a nose. “I’ve never seen you around.”

The guy swallows awkwardly. “I only recently moved here.”

“Oh, nice!” Willie is quick to say, not allowing anyone to feel awkward. “Where do you live?” He quickly wonders if that is a weird question to ask a stranger, but they’re clearly the same age, and if he only just moved here, the guy could probably use a friend.

The guy straightens up and turns into a different direction. “Over there, the house with the garage,” he says.

Willie frowns. “Huh? Did the Molina’s move away? I swear I saw them just yesterday.” He can’t have moved here yesterday, right?

“No, uh,” the guy continues, “they still live there.” He pauses, looking back over at Willie. “I live with them now.”

Willie allows the statement to settle for a moment. The guy doesn’t look Latino in the slightest, so unless he’s very white passing, Willie does not assume him to be a cousin. And although they’re still curious—people are never not curious, it’s only human—they just nod.

“That’s cool, they’re so nice,” he says in response. “I used to go to school with Julie actually, but I graduated in summer. Now I’m just working at the cinema,” they just continue, hoping it’ll show him that Willie is not going to pry more information out of him.

It works. “They’re really great,” he says, now smiling softly. “I go to school with Julie now, but I only transferred there this year.”

Willie smiles back. “We just missed each other then.”

The guy blushes a little. “We did, yeah.”

There’s a small silence between them where their eyes scurry over each other, both too anxious to meet the other’s gaze. Eventually, Willie decides to take the initiative.

“I’m Willie, by the way,” he says.

The corner of the guy’s mouth twitches up. “Alex,” he responds.

“Welcome to the neighborhood, Alex,” Willie says. He hesitates for a second, then decides to fuck it, and go for it. “If you ever need someone to show you around, let me know.” He mentally reels back as quickly as that offer left his lips. “Uh, I mean, if you’re with Julie, then she can probably—you probably already know your way around.” He pauses, now flustered, staring at Alex. “Sorry.”

Alex stares back for a second, then his mouth twists into a small smile and he looks to the ground again. If his cheeks weren’t already pink from the cold, Willie would think he is blushing.

“I do, kinda,” he agrees with Willie’s last statement, and Willie feels his stomach sink. “But, uh, if you want, when we’re done with the jerk-trap, we could go and get a hot chocolate at the café. Warm our fingers and stuff.” Now Willie definitely thinks he’s blushing. But so are they.

“I’d enjoy that,” they respond easily. The warm flutter in his chest is back and it’s making him bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling so wide his cheeks would hurt.

“Cool,” Alex says. He jerks a thumb towards the snowman. “We should, uh…”

“Yep,” Willie agrees.

They both crouch down to get back to work, finishing the last touches of their—

“What did you call our snowman?”

Alex snorts. “Jerk-trap.”

Willie laughs. “Perfect name.”

[doyelikehaggis]

https://www.tumblr.com/hydesjackiespuddinpop/748772081820434433/give-me-11-characters-one-to-ship-the-other-ten

Character: Rachel

Ships: Finn, Puck, Jesse, Brody, Quinn, Santana, Kitty, Tina, Mercedes, Sam

Ooh this is an intriguing concept! Okay, I'll give it a go!

Faberry will win ANY day. They deserved to end up together. So many of their scenes make SO MUCH MORE SENSE in a romantic context, like?? Repressed feelings, much??

Pezberry, my loves. Ugh, their tension was just unmatched (except by faberry obvs) like, I fully loved their bickering, and the New York seasons were so good for them. It was definitely those episodes that made me ship them.

Finchel does admittedly own a piece of my heart. I go back and forth on how I feel a lot about them but when I think a bit harder about them, I know I will always love them just a little. Their story ended far too soon and their ending will never not break my heart.

Cohen-Berry is such a cute concept and when I think of them I always go straight to the episode when Tina hit her head on the fountain and she and Rachel were swapped because their dynamic in that AU was one of the best parts of that episode.

I don't want to admit this one but... Puckleberry. HEAR ME OUT... okay I don't have a good argument, and I don't even really SHIP them romantically if I'm totally honest but there are two scenes that get me every time. The first one is when they're singing "Need You Now" because the way he LOOKS at her! And the fact that he agreed to play guitar and sing back-up for her TO THE ENTIRE FOOTBALL TEAM??? And the second scene is when he defends her to someone, I don't remember who, but he says she's not that bad, and he has a habit of calling her his jewish princess or something and it just-

I didn't hate her and Sam. I need to say it. I did not hate it. It was a bit weird, and it definitely felt like they were just making Sam into Finn 2.0 during their short-lived relationship but I didn't HATE them together. They were a little cute. Like, their relationship worked. Friends who've known each other a while, been through quite a bit together, decided to try out dating as adults after a ton of failed relationships, realize they don't really work well together in that context and break up but just go back to the way they were before because they're just that good at being friends. Do I want them to get married? No. I like what they had. It was very sweet.

Is it fair for me to put Jesse here just because I'M in love with him? Probably not, but it's happening away. Besides, it seems fitting. I didn't love them together, they were as bad as each other half the time which was AWFUL. I don't... love that they ended up together. He would definitely not have been my first, second, third or even fourth choice for her, as shown above. I absolutely think they're a nightmare of a couple. But I can't blame Rachel one bit because I would have fallen for him as well.

To be completely honest, I do not remember very much about Brody and Rachel's relationship except for the duet and the fact that he was a gigolo. I didn't like them together, I remember that much. They were very messy, but I did quite like Brody on his own despite the fact that he was, like, 75% of the mess.

I don't ship Mercedes with Rachel because Mercedes deserves better. They didn't quite have the same frenemies thing that Pezberry or Faberry had, and I fully do not believe that Rachel respects Mercedes enough. Not to mention, Mercedes has far more self-respect than to get with Rachel lmao. Yeah, I just don't think I can see it.

I didn't even know Rachel x Kitty was a ship? Is it? Well, even if it is, I have... no opinion on it, really.

[wishesinthedark]

My theory is that Dan Schneider had a weird…interest in? Relationship with? Sean Flynn, aka Chase Matthews in Zoey 101. I'm not going to say obsessed with or in love with or whatever, and I'm certainly not going to speculate about whether sexual abuse occurred; what we do know about Dan is that he, in addition to being a misogynist, is emotionally abusive and vindictive. And I do think that, for whatever reason, that the latter manifested itself very strongly here. I will attempt to write this in the best chronological order I know how, and will likewise clarify what is speculation and what actually happened.

In a January 2004 interview with the Sneeze, Dan is asked about his Better Off Dead costar Diane Franklin and says: She was very much my "type." She was small and cute with dark curly hair and [a] cute face.

I'm not sure when auditions for Zoey 101 had started and if this interview came before or after, but sometime later Dan meets Sean at an audition and is reportedly "fascinated" by his hair. To be clear, I'm not implying this was immediately a sinister interaction, but it is potentially notable context.

May 17 – May 21, 2004: Zoey 101 pilot is filmed.

From June 14 – June 18, 2004 they film the second episode. Dan has posted five photos of Sean from this week on his website and socials, based on the shirt Sean is wearing in the episode. Again, not implying this was outrightly sinister, but it could be seen as somewhat excessive.

Nothing particularly notable happens during Season 1. While one could argue that Sean's screentime increases as the season goes on, this could just be because he ended up being one of the stronger actors in the ensemble and was always intended the male lead. However, it is worth noting that Sean was rumoured to have dated Kristen Herrera (Dana) around this time, and frankly it's kind of obvious when they're on screen seeing as they are often seen standing next to each other. This is especially true in the last couple of episodes. Kristen's speaking time also steadily declined as the season progressed. Correlation is not causation, and Kristen apparently had a tendency to forget her lines so I can see that they would cut them for pure pragmatism, especially as Dan was known for doing an excessive number of takes and running overtime and overbudget.

Going into the second season, Kristen has been replaced by Victoria Justice. The reasoning for this has always been very vague. She apparently said she left due to family reasons, while Jamie Lynn's memoir said she was gone because the "producers wanted a change", whatever that means. The timeline is even more confusing. Based on a 2005 interview, Victoria's audition process happened pretty quickly, and there's also the fact that Kristen was apparently involved in the Season 2 promo shoot that they ultimately photoshopped Victoria into. She also attended the Kids Choice Awards back in 2 April 2005.

Either way, Season 2 begins filming from May 23 - May 27 2005 and Kristen is not there. Season 2 also marks the shift into Zoey 101 being much more Chase 101. To be clear, Dan just seemed totally disinterested in Jamie Lynn as an actor which, as someone who has watched the show, is kind of fair. So the first episode opens on Chase riding his bike, follows him for the next 2-3 minutes, and then finally lands on Zoey because she's his love interest and he needs to fall down some stairs. Also she's the main character or something. Nicole says something dismissive about Dana not being able to annoy her from France (which is in no way Alexa's fault and I'm incredibly sorry she had such an awful experience on the show that Dan enabled if not encouraged), we literally never hear about Dana ever again after that one line, and then the subsequent three episodes are pretty Chase-centric.

(Some quick anecdotal stuff:

In one of the podcasts they did Dan says that Jamie wasn't in "Time Capsule" as much because she was at cheerleading camp, to which Sean interjects that he was in the episode a lot despite having finals that week, which is a lot to unpack but the first bit makes me laugh because Jamie is frankly in Time Capsule just as much as she in other episodes. Dan also apparently heated the water up for Sean and Chris during the rain scene and phrased it as "the nice thing I did for you" which I hate and Sean has a fun Freudian slip where he says "Dan being the nice guy that he was…and is." This isn't evidence of anything but Sean being a bit of a snarky sixteen year old boy which will come up later.)

For context, my theory is that Dan's writing reflects who he's interested. I don't think he's ever been properly interested in someone without talent (Amanda Bynes and Jennette McCurdy being the most obvious examples), and I think he genuinely enjoys writing parts for people that he sees potential in. He does this a lot, like how Gibby in iCarly was supposed to be a one-off character and by the final seasons had been upgraded not just to recurring but to main cast. On Zoey 101, it happened twice: first with Erin Sanders, who had the role of Quinn especially created for her because Dan was impressed by her audition (and specifically fought for her even though there wasn't enough budget), and secondly with the role of Stacey in Season 3, who ends up being in more episodes than Paul Butcher despite him being the brother of the title character.

And the writing reflects this. In Season 2, Dan is credited with writing three episodes (he would have edited all of them but theoretically wrote the most for these two): Back to PCA, Robot Wars and Spring Break Up. Spring Break Up, the first Zoey 101 "movie" is very neatly divided into two plots: Chase angsts and Quinn is quirky (Zoey reacting with a blank stare is, for some reason, not movie plot material). Yes, of course the other cast members do things: by this point Dan has discovered that Sean and Chris play off of each other really well, and Paul screams a lot. But for the same reason that people noticed Alexa's role in the film seems very diminished, it seems worth noting that the entire A-plot is Sean's. It is his emotions and actions that matter; Chris is great but literally all he does is say "tell Zoey you love her". Does Zoey love Chase back? Irrelevant! That would require Jamie Lynn to act and Sean has angsting to do because Dan has decided that he has The Range.

And so, after the iconic scene of Zoey's TekMate falling into the fountain, we move into Season 3. Jamie Lynn against doesn't show up until three minutes in because, again, the boys are way more interesting and Sean in particular has grown up in both looks and in acting ability. The show immediately announces its shift into teen dramedy (even Spring Break Up was still primarily comedic) by having an episode where Sean's character gets a girlfriend because his character is the dramatic and emotional heart of the entire show and the closest Dan has ever come to a cohesive plot in his life. Season 3 also has episodes like "The Great Vince Blake" where Zoey gets relegated to the B-story (possibly a first and only for the series?) while Chase gets the A-story; more dramatic moments for him in "The Radio" and of course, the ending of "Chase's Grandma" which features him crying in the rain, still to this day one of the best and most memorable scenes (for all the right reasons) from any Dan Schneider show. (In a 2020 interview Sean said he knows Dan is particularly proud of that episode.)

Season 3 is also notable for being the longest season at twenty-six episodes compared to every other season's thirteen. Correspondingly, production continues past summer until the December 2006-January 2007. The set had also changed from Pepperdine in Malibu to Santa Clarita, which was three hours away from Nickelodeon studios and was twice as hot, so that half of the casts' memories of the show is dancing to the macarena in 113 degree heat. I bring this up to illustrate that the conditions for this season are arguably tougher than they'd been in previous seasons, especially if you add schooling and any personal troubles (ie normal teenage troubles like family tension, dating etc - Dan isn't responsible for everything), and you're probably not having a fun time. Which is maybe why all of the season 3 photos Erin posted on her website back in the day feature Sean not smiling, or even managing to rival Jamie Lynn in how disinterested he seems in the teen nick podcasts from that period. Perhaps relatedly, the second half of Season 3 shifts its attention away from Sean and more onto Chris and the rest of the cast and is the poorer for it.  I would also argue that Sean's performances worsen, his weight visibly fluctuates and his clothing gets visibly tighter.

At some point, Sean decides to pursue school instead of returning as a regular cast member in Season 4, as otherwise he wouldn't have had enough credits to graduate on time (also he went to a very expensive Jewish school and presumably someone wanted to get their money's worth). While there were probably multiple factors related to that decision, the story has been consistent since 2007, though lesser known and less speculated about than Alexa's departure. I believe it; I am, however, very curious as to when the decision was made. Apparently, the season three finale was written to set up Sean's absence in Season 4, which means it would have been discussed likely around October-November 2006. I can't confirm if the show had already been renewed for Season 4 by then, and it was theoretically also open-ended enough to work if Sean had decided to come back for Season 4. That said, I've also heard that Season 4 was essentially already written by the time he decided to leave (suddenly) and that's why it is Like That (which we will get to). But we will go with danwarp.shows because they do have an impressive amount of detailed knowledge. 

This brings me to my theory that Dan wrote Goodbye Zoey asking Sean to stay (and lowkey assuming he would). That boy gets three different scenes that basically say "look at my dramatic range! Put this scene in a demo reel!" including the big "I was in love with her from the moment I met her" monologue. Sure, dramas often have a big episode before they kill a character off but a) it's a kids show - and a tween show at that, we're not talking Degrassi here and b) it doesn't feel like an episode that is about to transition a main character into a glorified cameo. The episode as a whole is some of Dan's best writing and it feels like he put effort into it - which is saying something, especially compared to later shows. Plus the plot is literally about Zoey moving to a very fancy school in London which Chase doesn't want her to go to because he loves her

Also Sean gets to wear sweatpants for a good chunk of it which, after the tightness of his jeans for the latter half of the season, might have been perceived as a gift.

So Dan, who has a giant ego and a temper the size of Jupiter, has maybe put actual effort into a script and is used to always getting his way. And Sean still says nope, I'm outta here. Do we think Dan responds to this well?

iCarly's first season starts production in January 2007, with the second episode filming in March 2007. It is an episode called iLike Jake starring Austin Butler, and Erin Sanders pays a visit to meet her new costar. Whether Dan had actually held auditions for James or if he just saw the first pretty boy on set and went "you did well with the one line you had in Quarantine, you're hired" I do not know. But Austin Butler gets hired as Sean's replacement, James, who kisses Zoey within two days of knowing her while Chase had to wait 3.5 years for her to even notice him. Some people have argued that this happened because Season 4 was already written so they just swapped out Zoey and Chase with Zoey dating a rando, which is certainly what it feels like, but again, there are conflicting timelines here.

Season 4 of Zoey 101 starts filming in May 2007, and kicks off with one of the only table reads they ever did (unlike the other shows they did not get rehearsals due to filming on location). It is for the episode "Fake Roommate", named after the life size doll (???) Michael and Logan get of Chase to try to avoid getting a new roommate for hot tub purposes. This doll later gets peed on by a dog (???), and then dragged off screen by another dog (where are they coming from when no one is allowed pets on campus???). Literally why do we never talk about this. Why was this one of the only episodes to warrant a table read? Is this wacky comedy or is it Dan fantasising about humiliating a 17 year old child? Is this Dan taking it well? I would like to know. 

Season 4 continues. The vibes are Off, the comedy having completely changed from the teen drama of the previous season to parodies of The Sopranos and the View. Dan is less involved due to working on iCarly, where he can begin his emotional torture of Jennette, and so George Doty runs the writer's room.

Sean comes back to film Trading Places in June 2007. I don't know when his school finished or if he had to complete summer school, but if he didn't then he might have been able to film more episodes. Either way, Dan relegates him to the last 10 minutes of the episode, where he gives a heartbreakingly good performance, and the show actually feels like how it did in the best parts of Season 3. It feels a lot like he is acting in a completely different (and better) show than literally everyone else, but I digress. 

Sean doesn't return again until August 2007, when they're filming the final ever episode Chasing Zoey (and no, Jamie Lynn is not pregnant). For those that haven't watched the show and/or weren't there in 2008, this was a deeply hyped up episode. People wanted to see two things: Chase return to get together with Zoey and the gang's reaction to Quinn and Logan secretly dating. Specifically, they wanted a resolution to the perceived "love triangle" of Zoey/James/Chase - did Chase know about James? Did James know about Chase?

Dan does not care. These questions did not get answers. Instead, Michael learns to drive a stick shift for the first 30 minutes, and Chase comes again in the last ten minutes (meaning he doesn't even get a "special guest star" credit in the first part, ie every time Nickelodeon didn't air it as a movie). He and James do not interact because Austin Butler falls off the movie because he served no purpose and has no personality, Zoey doesn't say I love you to anyone, and no one is there when Quinn and Logan announce they're in love.

One gets the sense that Dan was not particularly interested when he wrote this. If nothing else, the finale is horribly lazy writing that barely delivers on the bare minimum of expectations and seemingly deliberately gives no one anything that they want. Yes, Dan himself cameos and screams in a taxi with Victoria because he's about to make Victorious, but it doesn't really make up for anything else. Despite being on-screen for less than ten minutes, Sean also has to wear a custom-made wig because god forbid a teenage boy get a haircut (just put in a joke about people not recognising him without the hair! It would have presumably been cheaper!)

I assume Dan was mad when Sean left. It is hard for me to not interpret a dog urinating on a stand-in as anything other than Dan quite transparently announcing that. Add Austin Butler to that: his good looks, his blondeness, his abs, the fact that this is emphasised heavily in the show, and him getting with the main character in record time and kissing in front of the fountain (Zoey and Chase had history there, man!) all seem like choices you don't make unless you are filled with some degree of spite. One of the episodes Dan is credited with brings back a character that beat up Chase in the previous season as a love interest for Victoria. Feels like you could have just…given her Austin Butler, but sure.

So I assume there was some kind of argument when Sean confirmed he was leaving. But I also wonder if they had another, potentially worse, fight after Sean filmed Trading Places. First of all, Sean cut his hair after that episode was filmed, which would have been an effective "fuck you" to Dan. His performance in Chasing Zoey also feels "off", despite being only a couple of months after he'd filmed Trading Places (in comparison, there was a six month gap between filming his final episode of Season 3 and Trading Places). Secondly, the last few episodes before the finale feel like filler: in one, coffee gets banned so the boys and girls create cafes in their dorm rooms, and in the second one Michael overcomes *checks notes* his fear of rollercoasters and the episode ends with an unexplained musical performance. Hell, those last two barely even have any Quogan moments in them, which was the closest Season 4 got to a plot or effort. It wouldn't surprise me if Sean had been contracted to appear in more episodes, or even just as a surprise in the last five minutes to lead into the finale, only for Dan to get so angry that he broke contract just to limit Sean's time on-set.

The point is, it feels like something went down.

So Zoey 101 ends. Jamie Lynn gets pregnant and overshadows most of Season 4 so that people only ever ask about the pregnancy and not Sean's absence, and Dan blows up with iCarly's success and popularity. In 2009, he begins working on Victorious.

Despite not even mentioning Zoey 101 for a good few years, it did seem to be the blueprint for Victorious. Going beyond the previous cast member in Victoria, it was another ensemble compared to the duo of Drake & Josh and the trio of iCarly, and it has the same basic structure: four girls (Jade and Cat being the obvious equivalents to Dana and Nicole) and three boys (hot one, black one, and Jewfro one - I assume this is how Dan's reductive and racist brain works). Furthermore, Daniella Monet is cast, who had previously played Chase's girlfriend. Apparently, the team do not recognise her, a point I find dubious and dismissive seeing as she was in three episodes of Zoey 101 with a major part (and they apparently remembered Austin Butler in Quarantine), but ok.

The similarities between Matt Bennett and Sean Flynn are immediately obvious to most people, and jokes about Robbie being Chase's cousin ensue, but not on the show itself. In fact, the closest Zoey 101 ever gets to being mentioned in Victorious is in Blooptorious, wherein Victoria's role as Lola gets referenced, and Rex/Christopher Cane simply responds, "I never watched it [Zoey 101]," which is honestly hilarious to me Dan hates it so much.

In the first season of Victorious especially, Robbie is a loser. In Tori the Zombie, a Dan credited episode, multiple jokes about the tightness of his jeans and his acting ability are made. Girls never pay attention to him because, why would they, when they could have Beck? He is effeminate because he talks about wearing "male makeup" and leather pants. The Slap emphasises that his hair is not a perm, but all natural baby. His last name is also Shapiro, which is relatively close to ‘Sean Rio’.

While Victorious sees a cameo from Josh Peck, it sees none from any Zoey 101 cast members, even though Chris Massey visits Victoria on-set and Erin and Victoria stay friends while Erin films Big Time Rush down the road. Abby Wilde does cameo on iCarly, lisp returned despite being written out in Chasing Zoey, and the character of Quinn Pensky gets a three second easter egg in iWas A Pageant Girl, but that's about it. 

For some reason, Jack Savatore (aka Mark del Figgalo) does end up having a cameo in one of the last ever episodes of Victorious. Sean apparently had always kept in touch with most of the cast, but he was apparently especially close to Jack. Relatedly, Jack and Sean both end up at the Season 3 Victorious wrap up party, and Dan posts a then/now photo of Sean and Victoria. It is July 21, 2012 and Dan has not publicly acknowledged Sean Flynn once since 2007.  He then posts a headshot of Sean on Facebook with a caption about him being "grown up and looking cool" in August 2012. I do not have broader context for that.

Victorious gets cancelled and Dan starts working full-time on Sam & Cat in early 2013. One of the other characters introduced is Dice. There are multiple jokes about how Dice is a hair model and his adult friend Goomer (who has the IQ of a potato) gets very angry if you make fun of his friend's "beautiful, beautiful hair". It's a joke, but the canned audience cheers as Goomer beats up the guy anyway.

Despite "relentlessly" emotionally torturing Jennette and Viacom launching an internal investigation into his abuse, in 2014 Dan gets awarded the first (and last) Lifetime Kids Choice Award. A lot of former cast members return to congratulate him: all of Victorious, Drake & Josh, a spattering of iCarly (not Jennette) and from Zoey 101? We have Chris. Just Chris.

In 2014, Dan starts work on Henry Danger and Gameshakers. While Gameshakers stars veteran Nick actor Kel Mitchell, the demographic is firmly younger than Victorious and Sam & Cat and he has seemingly started in on a new generation both in terms of actors and audience. Still, he regularly uploads "throwback" content for his new website, featuring never seen behind the scenes for previous shows such as All That, Drake & Josh and Zoey 101, which comes as a surprise to me, the only Zoey 101 fan left alive, because I honestly didn't think he would have had any photos of a show he seemingly does not like. He also begins wishing people happy birthday: happy birthday to Victoria Justice, Eric Lange, Erin Sanders, Avan Jogia and Sean Flynn.

In 2015, he seems borderline nostalgic for Zoey 101, a show he barely if ever mentioned (I once asked him in a Q&A what his favourite episode was and he said "I don't remember, I'd have to look them up" a statement I do not believe). He posts a behind-the-scenes video for a Halloween episode and a fun facts video, where he mentions that Sean wore a custom wig in the finale and is the grandson of Errol Flynn, because no one has heard that 2984 times. He doesn't post any photos taken after Season 2 on his website, with the exception of a couple of photos of Abby Wilde because he's weird about her too.

2015 also sees the release of the "What Did Zoey Say" video, which is an abomination for what it did to Chase's character. It is a direct sequel to a Season 2 episode and seemingly ignores the fact that the finale had Zoey and Chase getting together, or that Trading Places had them saying I love you because at this point Dan just sort of pretends Season 4 doesn't exist (I would find all of this more forgivable if he acknowledged not just Season 3 but how good half of it was). To be fair, it was also done in like 12 hours and solely because Dan kept getting harassed on twitter about it. The short is filmed in September, though apparently only because someone else suggested the fans would like it (despite him posting twenty one Zoey 101 related instagram posts up to that point during the year and publishing the fun facts a video a month before). Dan posts a photo of Sean and Chris with the casts of Henry Danger and Gameshakers. It is the closest Sean or Chris ever get to starring in an episode (in comparison, Matt Bennett and Nathan Kress have a brief part in both Sam & Cat and Gameshakers, while other actors like Jerry Trainor popped up in cameos and blooper episodes).

(I also want to note that Teen Nick messed up the airing of this, resulting in "betrayed" fans harassing Dan on twitter even more, so it got to the point where he uploaded it onto his Youtube channel and literally started replying to people being like "I'm good a guy! I didn't lie!" Like a) my guy, you are not a good guy, and b) how are you so touchy about what people say about you on twitter when for the past year every second tweet has accused you of being a pedophile??) 

The following year, Henry Danger has its first hour long special titled "Hour of Power" (filmed in July 2016 and airing at the end of the same year). It is worth noting that at this point, Dan can barely write for shit, a trend which started with iCarly and only got worse. Any emotion he was able to tap into in his Zoey 101 monologue days is gone, and he is increasingly unable to keep any plot in line or fetish at bay (see the episode of Henry Danger where Henry eats a banana while sitting in an older guys lap because I don't fucking know). He is also stupid on anger and ego, as seen in the Season 2 episode Henry & the Woodpeckers where he announces that he has personally been reprimanded for yelling at children by Nickelodeon executives multiple times, but haha, it's an episode about participation trophies in sport! He is so clever and subtle, guys.

Hour of Power starts with Ray, the middle aged superhero Captain Man, trying to fight a bad guy  named Drex without Henry, his sidekick Kid Danger, knowing about it. Why? Because the bad guy *drum roll* used to be his sidekick. Why is this such a shocking revelation that Henry drops his ice cream to the ground? Mostly so that Henry can be hurt because he thought he was Ray's first sidekick, because that matters for some reason (?), and then they play into the "jealous married couple that isn't actually married or even romantic" trope. Even though Ray is in his mid to late 30s and Henry is a child, but ok.

See, Drex seemed perfect but he actually had a dark side. And one day he and Ray fought and it was so bad that, if Ray wasn't indestructible, he would have been destroyed, whatever the hell that means. And this all happened nine years ago, which would have been 2007 for those counting at home. So Ray needs to fight him alone, because it would be weird if his current sidekick met his former sidekick, but Henry refuses and says, "Let's go meet your former sidekick…that you used to love," which seems oddly out of place even in the episode's context. So they go to Schneider's Bakery, both the name of Dan's own production company and a tribute to his grandfather's real bakery, because Drex "loves this bakery as much as [Ray] does" and they used to go there together twice a week, and then Ray gets stuck in a trap because the actor needed to go be with his pregnant wife in real life and we know Dan loves putting actors in boxes.

The episode then derails into a whole thing about Drex "spanking [Ray's] boyish sidekick" and then Henry gets superpowers and spanks Drex and also all of this is filmed and put on the news because Dan is fucking weird about technology and he has no filter and his mind is polluted.

Anyway.

Listen. I know I am reading too much into this. I have zero proof that this episode set up is based on anyone, let alone a specific person, other than that the Vibes are once again very firmly Off and it feels a little too specific. It could be about anyone, because I don't believe Dan only limited his abuse to cast members, and I admire any crew, extra or offset person that was brave enough to stand up for themselves. That said, it would make sense to me if it was about Sean. It’s likely he was able to stand up for himself in a way other people weren't: he's a double nepotism kid whose father is a TV producer with presumably a bit of power in the industry, and he was not acting for money the way cast members like Jennette were. Even in the very short Season 2 podcasts, Sean does seem to stand up to Dan more than the others. In one, Dan tries to make fun of him and Matthew for "not being man enough to do your own stunts" and Sean immediately responds saying Dan is the one who won't let them (to be clear, Dan is not in the wrong here, though he has been accused of endangering other, female actors by pressuring them to do their own stunts. But don't pretend like you gave people the choice of opting in or out).

It also tracks with Dan's weird relationship with Zoey 101. There are a myriad of reasons for him to not like it: it's not a sitcom and that's what he likes; the show had been mired in controversy because of Jamie Lynn's pregnancy (and he was probably sick of people accusing him of fathering her child by people who don't have eyes), as well as Matthew Underwood's multiple arrests, and the overall cast's general lack of success that we will assume was not due to Dan blacklisting everyone to Antarctica and back. Except for when he does seem to like it or at least be influenced by it. Likewise his reluctance to acknowledge the existence of the bad Season 4 but the very good Season 3 makes sense if he feels it was "tainted" by the apparently very traumatic memory of a 17 year old boy telling him to fuck off, I guess? (Dan if I'm wrong and you're reading this post something nice about Sean Flynn in Season 3 right now)

Dan and Nickelodeon "part ways" in late March 2018 because Dan screamed at a lot of wrong people after Gameshakers got cancelled and most of his supporters in high places left and got replaced. Also, he'd been an arsehole for twenty years and apparently hadn’t been allowed onset with actors for years (!!???!), not to mention the #MeToo era and his rife misogyny and harassment. He goes dead silent on social media and deletes almost all of his tweets, which is in no way suspicious. Eventually after a year, he begins sporadically posting on Instagram with comments turned off, including a return to his classic "happy birthday" messages. Drake Bell gets one (that is STILL up), and then he posts one for Sean.

Less than three weeks later they have the now notorious reunion (excluding Alexa and Kristen). It's dumb - what reboot is he gonna do to help your careers when he literally just got out ousted guys?? The only justification I can think of is that they went because he'd been ousted; he was no longer (as) powerful and the footing is maybe a bit equal now, so maybe they can control it. Sean wears like three layers of clothing again like he did at the 2012 wrap up party despite it being California in July.

Covid happens, putting a dent in the Victorious reunion that moves to Zoom. Dan also begins to properly up the birthday posts: you get a birthday post! You get a birthday post! We have details, we have fun facts, we have photos of other cast members with Dan. A lot of them are very nice, even personalised (while others, like Austin Butler, have a weird "from Team Danwarp" caveat). Sean gets called "one of my best casting choices ever", which seems like a weird thing to say about someone who's most notable post-Nickelodeon role was a minor part his dad got him on Devious Maids. It also seems pretty significant from a guy that cast Amanda Bynes, Kenan & Kel, and Ariana Grande; plus genuine but less recognised talent such as Jennette McCurdy, Liz Gillies etc. See, Dan is very involved in casting - he's talked about auditioning over forty girls for the role of Megan in Drake & Josh. He is genuinely involved in it and actively proud of it when it works out. He's also never really qualified who he considers his "best" casting choices, even though we can guess. But apparently Sean is up there.

(this was deleted/archived on instagram as of late March 2022, coincidentally the same month Sean got married, with a bunch of other birthday posts including Jennette's.)

I am definitely reading too much into it, but I maintain it's weird.

A final coincidence I find interesting: while Dan was not involved in the final seasons of Henry Danger due to being ousted (though he was allowed at the wrap up party for some reason), it seems worth noting that one of the final episodes has Henry and Ray arguing because Henry won't be able to graduate high school on time "due to [his] commitment to this job [as sidekick]". Ray replies "well you don't seem very committed to me" and Henry quits. Ray then proceeds to refer to him only as "the quitter" for an episode. Again, Dan didn't write this - it ends with Ray apologising and acknowledging that Henry 'was thirteen when [he] took that oath, [he] didn't know what you were getting into' if you wanted proof - but I found the parallel interesting all the same.

Ultimately, I have no idea who Dan did or did not abuse. I think he's a generally abusive person, to the point where probably most cast members have at least one story of being uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean he wasn't charming or kind or loyal when he wanted to be. Abusers are like that. I am inclined to think that he treated the people he hated and the people he liked the most the worst, and that you probably faired the best if he just ignored you.

[aeempress]

Apritello Express Evidences, part 2

Khem-khem, ladies and gentlemen, we shall continue out praising Apritello's episodes. And yeah, this part will be dedicated, in entirety just one episode.

Purple jacket. April and Donnie's episode.

I really love this piece of masterpiece, because it show April and Dee relationship, better reveals them as characters, and demonstrates their connection. (My previous points at this whole situation)

The episode begins with Donnie sneaking into April's school under the pretext of helping her. Soon, April stated the reason why she called D - her science computer project. Actually, she could take a photo of the code and sent it to Donatello, and I'm sure, he would send her the correct one right away, he's coder, he's prodigy, no probbles.

But still, April just asked him to come over and help her without stating any reasons. And he, indeed, came at speed of the light.

I want you to understand what exactly does that mean.

First: April is aware how much Donnie is into human culture. He wants to study in normal human school, do some average teen stuff. Especially, he is loving school and science-related stuff, all these science school projects, visits to botanical gardens, experiments and laboratory work. Because it's his field. It's exactly his domain, where he's good at. His family does not share his interest in science, and April is only one who can understand him. Probably.

Also, April know, how badly Donnie wants to go to school, which gives him an excuse, even if not the most solid one, but an excuse, nevertheless, to visit her school again.

Why again?

Because he has no problem navigating there. Donnie went directly to April's computer class.

He loves this place. And he'd already helped April with her projects.

Even so, knowing that every time she asked guys, especially Don, for help, it turned into a cataclysm, April still called him to help.

It's just a weird, indirect way to say, " Let's hang out, I know how much you like this whole situation with science, school and etc. Here ya go, buddy"

It seems like April did that to make something pleasant to him, something small, but nice to make him feel better. Because, as I state before - he likes to help April (praise, doing something useful for April - still counts as a motivation) and he likes school.

Second: khem-khem, D came at her school, as it seems, right away she called/texted. He didn't even know the proper reason, but c'mon: April ask for help, plus, her school. Sounds legit, don't you think?

Anyway, April has always been being the reason and excuse for teetles, but especially for Donnie. Clear? Clear. Good.

Donnie also tends to not think things through when he is excited. Because he went at the daylight in place, full of people just to help April.

ROTTMNT shows us how turtles were really afraid of human reaction and possible consequences. They have plan "H" to pretend they are going to Galaxy Con, brothers have explanation why they look weird and it's definitely not because boys are mutants, uh-huh, no, plus, guys go on surface at evening or night hours, when there are not so many people, and it's dark, obviously, to cover them and keep unseen.

Yeah, of course, Donnie seems more capable then his brothers to handle the surface (he has cash, D's dressed up as old ladies more than once, according to Leo, he was in April's school before, so yeah, no big deal) and I suspect that his friendship with April is one of the reasons.

Third: do you remember how April worried about looking "normal" when she was finally invited to a school party? She even forbade Mayham to appear nearby, just not to look like the lizard boy. Because cool kids don't bring pets to school. April doesn't have many friends, or rather, there are none at school, and she's been trying to solve this problem by getting close to Taylor Martin, the coolest girl in school.

And April O'Neil just calls Donatello, an objectively strange guy (since when is it normal to be a fan of school? Pretty questionable) in place, where her reputation is hanging in a balance. Our girl does not try to hide Dee, as it usually shown in shows for kids, and April do not pretend that she sees him for the first time in her life because, you know, Donnie will catch everyone's attention being himself and may embarrass her in front of her classmates. But no - April says with all her actions: "Yes, I know him. Yes, that dork is with me. And I don't give a damn about your opinion. Your problems, not mine. And yeah, I'm fine with him being here."

I mean it, guys. The devil is always in the tiny details.

The way they behave around each other.

Donatello is way more, MORE relaxed and just being himself: dramatic dorky nerdy ninja with current obsessions. The way he sneaked in school and April's classroom, the way he behaves alone with her is contrasting the way of his attitude while his brothers are near.

Don has a specific way to shown up. Instead of texting her, Donnie used shurekens. Yes, he almost fell off the lamp, but still, that's... quite an entrance he makes there.

April worries about him, when he fell from ceiling.

Our girl feel relaxed enough around Donnie, so she winks at him.

A wink is a fairly casual gesture that shows some expression of sympathy, trust, and togetherness. It's both good for saying "We're in same boat, we're team" and show the playful attitude towards someone. Isn't that an indicator?

Ironically, that being the best friends April and Donnie do not have any secret handshake/brofist/special greeting, as it usually the besties have at kid's series. Like Kendra and Jeremy have.

I can do only one possible logical conclusion: their relationship is far beyond "friends," "best friends," and "family".

Btw, about this certain phrase about secret five.

- Nay, fair April. A secret five[...].

Once again, nice wording, Donatello. Fair April? Maybe I'm too critical, but often when someone wants to convince their interlocutor and at the same time show one's condescension to them, it's usually uses "my dear ..." or something like that. I understand that semantically the difference is not very big, but in the first case, you can feel Donnie's personal attitude, even though he uses a book word. The second is just formal politeness, which emphasizes the difference between the rightness of the disputants.

This phrase were interpreted on official Russian dub as (okay, it's really hard to choose the correct word, because there's a lot of synonyms in English that sits quite well, while on Russian it's just one word, damn) "Нет, милая (No, honey/sweetheart )". Actually, a strange choice of wording, 'cause this is not what usually friends use to say to each other. We prefer use words like " my darling", "my dear", to demonstrate leniency. And again, most often this prerogative belongs to the older generation. Russians rarely throw around such words as "honey", "dear", "sunshine", because this deprives these endearments of any meaning, and a person using them, as a rule, is familiar. Of course, there are people who use them on a regular basis, but I HIGHLY doubt that Donatello is one of them. It's not his style.

But still, maybe I just too critical at this point.

April, as it is shown, have some kind of power to cool and calm him down and bring Donnie back to life reality.

1. Don awakes from his daze while heard April's voice

2. He's literally coming back to life, when April said about his broken jetpack.

3. Dee obediently interrupts his touching farewell to the jacket when April yells at him.

Oh, and his face. I remind you, fellas, we're talking about Donatello, "I really do not like to express emotions"-guy and "I will die if someone broke my bAbEyS"-guy.

And what do we see? Donnie's emoting. And feels free to do that. He's even drooling. (What seems kinda interesting without context, if you're understand what I'm talking about ;))

Dee doesn't seem angry about broken jetpack. And his wide smile, while he's assuring April he can fix it? A few minutes ago, he was steamed when his stuff was stolen, but when the jetpack was broken, he doesn't even raise an eyebrow. Very eloquent.

April is his support

April also supports Donnie whatever he's up to. Yes, she hadn't been excited when Othello had expressed a desire to join the club. However, she also introduced him to Kendra and company. Yes, she showed by her whole appearance that she did not share his joy, but nevertheless, our loyal captain O'Neil was there for him, by his side all this time.

And her sweet facial expression. From "Srsly? Join this jerks?" to "If you dare to even think about to hurt him, I'll smash you".

And one more cute detail about Dee. Even if he does whatever he wanted so badly, Don constantly looks around at April, looking for her approval.

- Be honest, April, do I look fantastic, or SUPERBLY fantastic?

- You look like you drop a juice box in a laundry. (Play nice, April, don't be mean)

He cherishes her opinion.

April had even called him late at night just to, technically speaking, say that his tech were stolen. And what's the big deal with all his outfit? It's late night, they can just sneak out into Nakamura in their usual form. But noooo, April give a special ride on her bicycle. Just. You know. Our girl carried her own weight and his all the way without stopping. And then she went up 53 + floors running non-stop because Donnie's equipment was stolen. And then she had to chase the her classmates, dodge and jump out of the window. Because Purple dragons stole Dee's tech. Like shooting fish in a barrel, no big deal at all.

And it's definitely not because he will be totally crashed or he'll do stupid things during his anger, which will then come out sideways.

And April comes along with him to very end.

By the way, their phone conversations.

Donnie is the very case when "Call at any time of the day or night and I will pick up the phone".

When April called him when he needs D's help with Albearto, when something is definitely going on behind.

As it says in transcript of the episode:

[April takes out her phone, scrolls to Donnie’s listing and calls him. Donatello appears on screen. Behind him a flying microwave wearing boxing gloves shoots lasers at his brothers.]

Don: "You are conversing with Donatello."

April

[Crouched on floor in hiding.]

Dude, I need your help."

Don: "For you, anything. As long as it does not involve bees, or spiders, or beach balls.

[There’s an explosion behind him and his brothers cry out, which he ignores.]

And yeah, he took her incoming immediately, he ignores absolutely and totally everything around him, because... April? Expositions, bloody flying microwave bot turned to destroy mode, his brothers screaming and being in life-threatening situation? Naaah, it can wait.

Donatello was at Todd's, building "the puppiest place on Earth" and was very enthusiastic about to finish this thing. But he paused anyway to answer April.

We already know how obsessive with work Don can be: if something interesting gets into his field of view, he begins to do it all day long. Remember "The Purple Game" - a very revealing case. Yeah, we weren't shown how much Donnie is into engineering, but I can guess that point remains the same.

April called him at late night and Donnie picked up the phone.

April, unlike Donatello, is a teenager who is burdened with social relationship such as family, school, and work periodically, which implies a more or less strict schedule to follow and some conventions, such as " April, you can't go out late at night to catch robbers, you are underage and you have to go to school/work tomorrow). However, she was watching the news late at night, so she called Dee. ( I have a lot of questions, but I'll never get answers, as it seems)

D, in turn, doesn't have so many contacts with the outside world. I highly doubt that anyone else outside of the family and April has his number. And yet, when he hears the call late at night he takes it. Yes, he had awaken from the nightmare, but still.

And what's up with his usual "You're conversing with Donatello"? He didn't even understand what's going on, as it seems, he's too sleepy to play his usual image and playfully attitude as we could see in "Hypno Part Deux" and "War and Pizza".

Adorable couple-like D&A arguing

April very rarely uses "I told you so" against anybody, or rather, this is almost the only case. This phrase is more suitable for Leo or Donnie, and you know," I told you so! " we usually use on people we know well, and we want to tease 'em about them being wrong. Which, in fact, once again highlights and proves how close D&A are. And I don't even get started about the fact that this is more like a couple's quarrel, not a friend's.

And one more time - in the end, when April suggests using the jacket to stop Kendra.

Their teamwork

I stated that before, I'll tell it one more and more times. The chemistry of their team interaction is incredible. It's as if they can feel each other, and each knows what the other is capable of doing in the next moment. April easily adapts to Donnie's attack, realizing his plan.

Donnie also throws them both out of the window in order to continue the pursuiting Kendra on the jetpack. Don is one hundred percent sure of April, that she will understand what he wants to do, Dee trusts her with his life without hesitation, and she has never used his jetpack. He just puts her before the fact: April will be using the tech.

Up for Donnie!

I really like how this scene was made. Donatello struggles with his own tech, somewhat he made by himself, having invested almost whole himself and his soul, but what "betrayed" him in end. When Dee finally managed to shake one of his battleshell, which almost choked him, Donnie feel so scared and unsecured. We can see his anxiety - Dee's coaching position with covering his head with his hands and tucking his knees.

Defenseless, helpless, and mostly lost, and then, just in time - hero comes to save his life. She uses Donnie's name as battlecry, look how furious she is.

Funny fact: on Russian dub April yells "Don't touch Donnie! (how dare you, madafaka)

April fits in Donnie's type of girls. She's cute (obvious) and mean (not so obvious).

I can't say that meanness is the main feature of April's character, as we can say about Kendra. But this personality trait is still present in her and sometimes it does not manifest itself so widely. April's meanness is not so pronounced, it is much softer and smoother, and it is not exposed.

But April becomes really mean when someone messes up with Donnie.

She's his support and prop. Literally. Just look at first frame, okay-okay, jokes aside

She's genuinely enjoying of kicking bad guys ' asses, even letting go of witticisms and barbs.

Last scenes

Don survived a rough night: he was used, his tech was stolen, so he and April had to chase the satin robed punks. Donnie was hit in the head with a hammer, he fell from a bird's-eye view, passed out and then his battleshell tried to strangle him. And April is here to comfort him, to cheer him up.

Yes, we don't get any hugs (because it's kids show, bleh), the tactility is kept to a minimum, except for April's comforting hand on his shoulder, but they don't even look at each other. But the softness of her voice, the intonation with which she utters a phrase (that is usually sent to the friend zone, but "pal" is really neutral word, and the most important how she said that) turn the scene upside down. It is not what April did to comfort him matter, it's how she did this.

I said "yes" to you way too often

April mirrors Donnie with his "Anything for you". Yes, of course, she said this with a certain amount of grumbling, but her voice and her demeanor suggest otherwise - she is not at all averse to going to giving in him.

And the way they're look at each other.

This one

And one more detail

It's really tiny, it's hard to catch from the first watching the episode, but still, it's possible. I'm talking about graffiti on the walls of the alley where April and Don had landed.

This one

Yeah, if we speak about reality it's quite normal to see graffiti like this. But we talking about TV-series, where everything has its own place and meaning. And if there something, it must be there, it's not just whim of artist who put it in there. But this little graffiti changes the mood of scene.

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Anything, For You

This is a continuation of Anything. Please be sure to read that part first if you want some context!

Rating:  Explicit

Warnings: Rough Sex (Vaginal and Anal), Threesome (Double Penetration), Weed / Alcohol Use, Rough Oral Sex (blow job, face fucking), Public Foreplay, Public Humiliation, Spanking, Choking, Obsessive Reader, Toxic / Power Imbalanced Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, Suggested Dubcon / Reluctant / Compliant Reader

Words: 12,128

Pairing: Drummer!Bakugou Katsuki x Superfan!Fem!Reader x Guitarist!Kirishima Eijirou

Quirkless, Punk rock band AU

Not specifically written for, but using it for the @bnhabookclub​​ ‘s members bingo event!

Crossed off: Threesome

Bingo Masterlist

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Art in banner by me

Tag list: @lady-bakuhoe​ , @gallickingun​ , @unbreakableeiji​ , @boom-bakugou​ , @honeytama​ , @wakaoujisenhime​ , @ikinabi​ , @thotpatrolcaptain​ , @1-800-callmekatsuki​ , @tomurasprincess​ , @bratwritings​ 

You nervously tightened your grip on the small clutch in your hands, digging your nails into the faux leather and ignoring the sting of the metal pointed studs against your skin. For a few minutes now, you had just been standing outside of the club Garden, listening to the loud music and watching the flashing neon lights every time the door opened. With each group of people leaving, stumbling out drunk and high off adrenaline from dancing, the same amount were let in from an insanely long line, which even curved around the building to where you couldn’t see. There were so many people waiting to go in, and yet, you knew that you could just bypass this line and go on in. 

Why were you so nervous? 

It wasn’t the thought that you would be glared or yelled at by the people waiting if you skipped the line. Sure, it might make you a bit embarrassed if they picked at you, but that wasn’t the problem. No, it was who was waiting inside the club and who gave you that exact privilege to just come on in that terrified you. 

Bakugou 10:50 pm: come to the club Garden downtown around 1 am. just show your ID at the door and theyll let you in past the line. 

Me 10:51 pm: Just me? 

Bakugou 10:51 pm: just you, babe. your shitty friends arent invited. 

After releasing a trembling breath, you opened your clutch to take a quick look at your phone, giving a small groan at the time that showed 1:02 am. It was time to go in, but you were so damn nervous. How could you not be? Showing up to a strange and very crowded club, to hang out and drink with your favorite people - or, well, person - on this planet? With what happened earlier that night, you knew that any type of debauchery could go down, and the stinging welts on your asscheek were testament to that. But there was going to be way more involved. More people, alcohol, and most likely some type of drugs, for sure. You knew that you’d need to be vigilant, but being in Bakugou’s presence again, you weren’t sure you’d have the willpower to say no to anything that was handed your way. 

Suddenly, your phone buzzed in your hand, startling you enough to make you jump and almost lose your balance on your chunky, boot style platform heels. Looking at the screen, the fire in your cheeks grew hotter, reading the text that Bakugou had just sent you. 

Bakugou 1:03 am: where are you at, babygirl? scared? 

Me 1:03 am: No, I’m about to come in. There’s… a lot of people.

Bakugou 1:04 am: fuck them and come inside. there’s someone waiting to bring you up.

Releasing a trembling breath, you put your phone back in your clutch and pulled out your ID instead, gathering your courage to walk up to the front door. One of the two bouncers immediately looked down at you with a threatening posture, though his demeanor changed at the sight of your timid presence. 

“Skipping the line?” 

“I… have VIP permissions. From Bakugou Katsuki… I’m [f/n] [l/n]. He said I should be on a list.” 

Taking your ID, the bouncer first checked it over with a flashlight to confirm its authenticity, before picking up a clipboard that was resting on a stool beside him. It only took him a moment before finding your name, smiling and giving a nod. “Yep, there you are. Follow me.” Putting the clipboard down and handing you the ID back, he made his way through the front door, at first holding it open for some people leaving before allowing you through. 

Any objections you may have heard from the people in line were immediately drowned out by the music, the heavy beat shaking the ground. It was quite dark in the large industrial style building, with only blacklights and flashing neon skylights illuminating the dancefloor. Though, up one floor, you could see a loft area with mostly regular lighting, though it was dimmed, and you wondered if that’s where you would be going. 

Following the bouncer as he made his way past, you used his impressive height and size to push through the crowds, since he was easily able to part the sea of bouncing drunken bodies. He led you to the stairs, as you had expected, and started to make his way up, only giving you a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure you were still following. Or to make sure that no one else was coming up, either. You weren’t sure. 

As you made your way up, you felt a bit embarrassed that the stairway was mostly exposed, using your free hand to hold your short dress up against your backside to hopefully keep anyone from seeing anything private. You weren’t wearing any hose this time, since the only ones you had brought with you into town for the concert were the fishnets that Bakugou had destroyed earlier. Your only cute pair of underwear had also been destroyed, so right after the concert, you had to hunt some down. All you could find at the only store still open was a pair of cute little lace boy short style panties, which were quite sexy and were decently invisible under your dress. You knew that they would be, since you got them from a damn porn shop. There was nothing else open at midnight, so there was no choice. It still ended up perfect, though. If something else did end up happening, you assumed he would like them. Or you hoped so. 

The closer you got to the loft, you realized that it was actually surrounded by glass. The only thing that was solid was the door, which was opened after a loud series of knocks from the bouncer. After a click, another man opened it up, glancing first at your guide before down to you. “She’s invited?” 

“Yes. [f/n] [l/n]. Bakugou’s guest.” Stepping aside, the bouncer and what appeared to be a security guard allowed you inside, the door shutting immediately once you passed the threshold. The sudden volume difference of the room startled you a bit, as did the change in lighting, but you were quick to take in your surroundings. 

There were multiple couches and chairs scattered about in strategic locations, along with tables that were already piled up with drinks. The room was much smaller than it seemed, with only one other door along the back solid wall, which you assumed was a bathroom. Then, your eyes landed on the men you adored, and your entire body instantly flushed with heat as you noticed all their eyes on you. 

“Your clutch, ma’am?” 

The security guard pulled you out of your stupor, holding his hand out in front of you. Nervously, you placed it in his hand, watching as he placed it in a bag behind him and zipped it up. Immediately after, he ran some type of long beeping device across the front and back of your body about an inch away, which you assumed was a metal detector. When it didn’t go off, he allowed you to walk further in with a wave of his hand, and you timidly stepped forward while pulling down your dress, clearing your throat a bit in awkwardness. 

“Hey there, babygirl.” Bakugou spoke with a sly smirk on his face, holding a glass of dark colored liquor near his lips. “Finally made it. Took you fucking long enough.” 

“Sorry…” Making your way towards the couch he was on, you took a moment to look at the other members, trying to control the nervous swirling of your stomach. “Nice to see you all again…” 

“You were in our first meet up group, right?” Midoriya smiled at you, placing his hand on the thigh of a curvaceous woman that was placed firmly on his lap. His voice was still quite strained and cracked, worn from the performance. “Kacchan told me he invited someone, but he didn’t tell me who!” 

“Because it’s none of your damn business, Deku,” With a snap of his finger as he held his hand out towards you, Bakugou commanded you over to him silently. Not even taking a second to think about it, you approached, taking his hand. He led you with only a gentle pull to stand between his legs, placing both of his hands on your outer thighs. “You look good, babygirl.” 

“T-thank you-” You were cut off by the sound of a door closing, along with an annoyed whine. 

“Aww, what the fuck?! Even Bakugou was able to get a girl this time, and he never does! I must have really sucked today.” Huffing, Kaminari shuffled his way towards an empty armchair, flopping down to sit with his legs stretched out in front of him, toes pointed towards the ceiling. “Bullshit.” 

“You suck all the time, dunceface.” 

“I do not! All the girls wanted me at our last gig.” 

“Yeah, because both Deku and Kirishima were out of commission after that, so they had no other option. Don’t be such a little bitch, if you want girls, go fucking dance.” Although Bakugou’s snappy demands were directed at his companion, his glazed over crimson eyes never left your body. They scanned over every inch of you quite diligently, as if he were missing you greatly just from these few hours apart. Unsure of what to do with your hands, you let one rest tenderly on his bicep while running the other softly through his bangs, pulling the fair blonde hair loose of the light grip of sweat that stuck it to his skin. You weren’t sure if it was the lighting in the room or maybe his intoxication, but you could have sworn that you could see the tips of his ears flush with your touch. 

“But I don’t want to go dance alone!” Kaminari whined, sinking further into the chair. His voice broke your concentration on the man in front of you, looking at the pouting bass player over your shoulder. It was odd, you thought, that there weren’t as many girls in here as you expected. Actually, there was only you and the girl with Midoriya, whose attention was fully on him, hands on his freckled cheeks and playfully squishing them together. Her bobbed brunette hair gave away who she was, as you had seen her in many of his social media postings, but you couldn’t quite remember her name. All you knew was that they were dating and had been friends for a very long time, but that didn’t really matter right now. 

Kirishima sighed, resting his arms up over the back of the couch, his hand pulling your attention as it came to rest decently close to Bakugou’s head, though the drummer didn’t protest or seem to even notice. “C’mon, man, don’t be such a downer! I think you need to take another hit and get down there. Take Todoroki with you.” 

Kaminari scoffed, looking over at the silent member of their band, who was more focused on his phone and his fancy martini looking drink than anything they were talking about. “What, so he can go stand in the middle of the dancefloor like a weirdo? He doesn’t have any dancing rhythm! He barely moves when we’re performing!” 

“Yeah, but girls like him more than you, he’d help you catch their attention.” 

“Now you’re all just being assholes!” Huffing, Kaminari sat up and leaned forward, snatching up a small glass pipe and the lighter beside it. “It’s not my fault that no one likes the bass players! I’m not as cool as you!” 

“Hey, I’ve offered to play bass sometimes.” Kirishima grinned, reaching over to scratch the side of his nose. “But Bakugou won’t let us switch--” 

“Fuck no.” Bakugou interrupted, now glowering at his friends, both of his strong hands resting on your hips firmly. “That’s too much power I’m not willing to give you, dunceface.” 

“Rude.” Grumbling under his breath, Kaminari glared down at the pipe as he brought it to his lips, lighting it up and taking a hit. The smell of weed hit your nose immediately as he exhaled, the cloud of smoke leaving his lips slowly as he leaned back in the chair. “Midoriya would.” 

“Because he’s a dipshit.” 

“You’re so aggressive today! I think you’re the one that needs a hit, bro.” 

“Fuck that shit. I’m not looking to fall asleep any time soon.” 

“You’re up way past your bedtime, anyway. Grandpa.” Passing the pipe and lighter over to Kirishima as he beckoned for it, Kaminari gave a sly smirk, knowing he could press Bakugou’s buttons while you were in his way. You could feel Bakugou’s grip tighten in irritation and see his brows furrow, but to your surprise, he was quick to calm, giving an annoyed click of his tongue as he used only slight pressure to pull you to the side, gesturing to the couch for you to sit. You did so, now effectively squished between the two men, one taking a hit while the other gulped down what was left of his drink. 

If you were honest, you felt quite… awkward. You didn’t really know what to do with yourself and you weren’t sure if talking would be welcomed. You were new to this tight knit group, and even though you admired and adored every single one of them, you almost felt like you didn’t belong there. Were you really worthy of being in their presence like this or being so close to Bakugou as he rested an arm around your shoulders, pulling you up against his side? It felt like a dream, and you were horrified that at any moment, you would wake up to find yourself lonely in your hotel bed. 

“Want a hit, sweetheart?” 

Your thoughts were disrupted by Kirishima’s pleasant ringing voice, his smile soft and comforting as he held the pipe and lighter towards you. At first, you hid your face a bit behind Bakugou’s forearm, fiddling with your nails. “I’ve never done it before… I probably shouldn’t.” 

“Aw c’mon, you should! You’re safe here with us! That’s pretty cool, too, isn’t it? To have you first hit ever with your favorite band.” Kirishima’s eyes left yours for a moment as he glanced up, most likely at Bakugou, though there wasn’t anything malicious that you could see. He was genuinely being very nice about it, and so far, no one had protested. Still, you looked up at Bakugou for approval, a sly smirk crossing his lips when you did so. 

“What, babygirl? Looking for permission?” 

Feeling heat rush to your cheeks at his domineering tone, you nodded. “Yes. Is it okay?” 

“What do you say?” His rough fingers took hold of your chin, tilting your head up as he leaned in, whisky tainted lips brushing against yours. Your heart began to race, chest heaving with steady, heavy breaths as you parted your lips expectantly. But, you were left with nothing until you answered, and you did so without a second thought or worry about what anyone else in the room might think. 

“Please, Katsuki.” 

A low hum resonated in his chest in satisfaction of your response, pressing his hot lips against yours to reward you for being so obedient. Or, at least, that’s how you understood it. In the few hours that you had been away from him, there hadn’t been a single moment of lucidness where you felt like you had escaped whatever hold he had placed on you. In fact, your wanting to be at his side only grew worse, to hear him praise you and reward you when you were a good girl for him. 

His praise. His touch. His attention. All of it was so intoxicating, and you wanted more. 

When he set your lips free after just a short moment, it took only a light bump to your chin to have you turn your head to look back at Kirishima, who was waiting patiently. He was still smiling, but there was a mischievous gleam in his eye, as if he had been waiting to see just how obedient you still were. It was gone with a blink, his pleasant and cheerful demeanor taking over as he held the pipe up between his fingers. 

“Yeah? Gonna do it, sweetheart?” 

��Sure,” You answered meekly, turning a bit more to face him. “Uhm… How do I do it?” 

Kirishima was very thorough in his explanation of how to use the pipe, and by the time he was done, you felt confident that you could do it. Though, your confidence didn’t amount to much, as you still ended up with quite the coughing fit after your first hit. Behind the coughing and burning in your throat, you could hear Kaminari gasp out in surprise, though you couldn’t quite focus on him yet through the smoke. 

“Holy shit, Kirishima, you should have just prepped it for her, that’s gonna fuck her up!” 

Chuckling, Kirishima handed you a cup of water, which you gulped down eagerly. “She’s fine, that wasn’t that bad! A little too aggressive on sucking it in, but you’ll get it down. You okay?” He gave your thigh a few comforting pats, his lingering on your bare skin not quite registering in your mind as you tried to calm the burning in your throat. Thankfully, it was fading decently quick, but it still wasn’t anything like what you had expected. 

“I’m okay,” You choke out after a moment, placing both the glass of water and the pipe down on the coffee table in front of you. “You guys make it look so easy!” 

“That’s because they’re fucking potheads.” Bakugou pulled you back up against him. “Especially Dunceface over there. Can’t go five minutes without being high.”

“Don’t be telling lies about me, Kacchan.” Kaminari waddled a finger at his friend, and you could tell that he was feeling pretty relaxed compared to a while ago. “It’s more like three minutes.” 

“Shut up. Where the fuck’s our bartender? We haven’t gotten new drinks-” 

“-Let’s go down, then!” Kaminari hopped up to his feet, clapping his hands together to try and get his friends riled up. “Let’s get some drinks and dance like we’re normal people, no one’s gonna recognize us down there, it’s too dark! This VIP shit gets boring sometimes. Right, Todoroki?” With a bounce in his step, he walked over behind the couch his quiet friend was sitting on, giving him a firm smack on the shoulders. “You’re just over here on your phone! Let’s go dance!” 

Todoroki took his friend shaking him from side to side like a champ, not looking away from his phone or spilling his drink. “I’ll sit at the bar, but I’m not going to dance.” 

“You will after a couple of shots. Midoriya? Ochaco?” 

 “Let’s go, Deku!” Hopping up off his lap, the brunette took both of Midoriya’s hands, trying to pull him up with meager strength. “Let’s all go!” 

With a heavy sigh in defeat, Midoriya stood, as did Todoroki. Though, there was no movement from either of the two men beside you, so you glanced between them curiously. Kirishima seemed interested, while Bakugou looked like he wanted to throw them all off the balcony just to get some peace. You weren’t sure if it was the excitement of being here, the electric energy from Kaminari, or the hit you had taken, but you really wanted to go. You were feeling restless and, if you were honest, kind of bummed out that you were still the only one who hadn’t had a drop of alcohol. You came here to have a good time with these guys. With Bakugou. But how could you talk him into it? 

“You losers coming or not?” Kaminari barked before you could say a word, glowering at the three of you still plastered on the couch as he stood by the door, waiting for their security guard to unlock it and step out. “Kacchan, you were complaining about drinks, come down and get some with us!” 

“Fuck, fine! If it will shut you up!” 

Everything changed pace in a blink of an eye from that moment. Before you knew it, you had taken two shots of… something, and sucked down a drink faster than you thought you would, all while watching the bouncing bodies on the dance floor with Bakugou at your side. Though, he wasn’t just standing next to you. His arm was hooked around your waist like a vice, his powerful and off-putting presence preventing any man with wandering eyes from even considering trying to come up to you. At first, you felt a bit embarrassed that he was so close and so protective, but you also couldn’t help but feel… flattered. And that flattery brought up a new bubbling in your belly. 

You were so happy. Again, you didn’t know if it was because of the high or the alcohol, but you were absolutely beyond tickled. It was such a strong sensation, in fact, that you couldn’t help but start to bounce on your feet and sway to the music. Your hips bumped into Bakugou’s as he stood beside you, one arm around your shoulders while the other propped him up on the bar counter. With the bump, he tightened his arm around your neck, pulling you in closer to him and pressing his lips against your ear so you could hear him over the blaring music. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Dancing!” You responded near his ear as he turned his head to hear you. “I like this song!” 

“You call that dancing?” With his insult, he moved his arm around your back and gave you a small push forward towards the dance floor, smirking at the confusion on your face when you looked back at him. Taking your drink from your hands, he finished off the last bit of it before leaving it on the counter behind him, giving your ass a tap to guide you forward. Within moments, you were both swallowed by the giant group of sweating, bouncing bodies, all who had little to no care on who they were touching or where they were moving. 

And yet, with Bakugou's arms around your waist from behind, you felt like you were completely enveloped in your own bubble. Just you, him, and the music. What truly snapped your restraint was his deep growl in your ear, tugging your hips tightly back so that your ass was firmly pressed against him. 

“Show me how you can really dance, babygirl.” 

No one would truly call the way you rubbed your bodies against each other to the rhythm of the music “dancing”, but all your body could comprehend in your intoxicated state. The flashing neon lights, from pitch black to strobing, was almost making you dizzy, and the only thing that seemed to alleviate the disorientation was putting all your focus on Bakugou. 

The way you two moved was seamless and in tune, his hands freely roaming your body with no fears of being noticed within the densely packed group. Even if someone did notice, you wouldn’t care. All you cared about was his lips against the skin of your neck, his fingers digging into your plush curves and the hard presence of his cock beneath his pants. Just feeling it against your ass made you remember how good he felt fucking you, the way he filled up every inch of your aching cunt and made you scream for him. 

How he made you his. 

How you would do anything for him. 

How he owned you. 

“Open your eyes, sweetheart.” 

The voice in your ear was a sweet growl; more of a purr to calm and coax you. It was so comforting that you almost forgot where you were for a moment, until you did as you were told. Instead of a group of dancing bodies in front of you, you were met with a clear view of that brilliant, wide grin sported only by Kirishima. He was in front of you, dancing with you and Bakugou together, his hands also firmly on your body to keep you pinned between the two men. 

Your entire body immediately flushed hot, pressing further back against Bakugou to try and get some space between you and the redhead. “K-Kiri-!” 

“Don’t you even think about it.” Bakugou growled in your ear, his hand coming up to wrap around your throat. “Let him touch you.” 

You didn’t have much time to even consider complying before Bakugou moved you both forward, not allowing you any space or chance to dip out from between them. You were trapped. How long had Kirishima even been there? Whose hands had been touching you this entire time, squeezing your breasts and your hips so eagerly? Had it been both of them? Whose hand was that right now, sliding up your thigh and bringing your dress with it. 

What was happening? They couldn’t actually be thinking about touching you here on the dancefloor, could they? In the privacy of the VIP room, maybe, but out here in the middle of all these people? Someone would notice! 

You tried to squeak out a plea to stop, but Bakugou’s hand around your throat stopped any little sound from slipping out. Instead, your hips were pulled forward and snug against Kirishima’s, one of his legs between yours so that you were practically sitting on his thigh. But that wasn’t where your hips were directed. Instead, with the beat of the music, Kirishima rutted his hips against you, and you could easily feel the hard presence of his cock against your scantily clothed sex. He was wearing loose black joggers, so there was basically nothing between you, and with both men surrounding you completely and still moving with the music, there was no hope of someone noticing. 

Needing to ground yourself, you clutched on to both of Kirishima’s biceps, his hands set firmly on your hips. The digging of your nails into his skin only seemed to spur him on further, becoming rougher with his thrusts, and the more he stroked across your clit, the more you began to lose yourself. It felt so good, even though you knew that it shouldn’t. It was Bakugou all over again, fucking your throat raw as your essence dripped down your thighs, just as it was now. Kirishima was using you for his own gratification, and Bakugou was allowing it. This wasn’t okay. 

You clenched your eyes shut tightly as Bakugou’s hands moved to caress your breasts, squeezing them roughly and eagerly pinching your nipples. You heard him groan in your ear, his attention to your nipples increasing as he noticed the little studs in place. “Oh fuck, babygirl, I didn’t know you had piercings here, too. I’m an idiot for not stripping you in the changing room, but I’m not going to make that mistake tonight.” 

His teeth sinking into the skin of your neck and another harsh twist made your body jolt, a moan involuntarily slipping through your lips. Before it could get far, it was devoured by Kirishima, who kissed you passionately to silence you. 

What should I do? It feels good, but… I didn’t want Kirishima like this! 

A rough nibble to your lip forced your mouth open, unable to stop or resist Kirishima's tongue from invading. He tasted like weed and the sour sting of an energy drink still on his lips, but that isn’t what made you want to pull away. Was he… a better kisser than Bakugou? No one could be better than the blonde behind you… at anything! And yet, here Kirishima was, making you completely breathless and absolutely on fire. It wasn’t so brash or dominating, either. 

You loved it. A lot.

A moan leaked through the kiss as Bakugou moved his lips to your ear, running his tongue along the shell of it before nibbling harshly at the delicate skin below. “You like his cock rubbing up against you, baby? You like being pinned between us like the little desperate whore you are?”

Kirishima finally released your lips, giving you a chance to take in deep trembling breaths. “Yes, Katsuki! But I— “

“What?”

“I really have to pee!”

Both men paused with your proclamation, watching your face in confusion as you stood there trembling in their grip. You hadn’t been lying, and it was clear as day in your flushed face. You needed to go to the restroom. If you didn’t, you knew there would be an accident all over yourself and the two men that held you. 

“You’re serious?” Kirishima spoke loudly enough so you could hear him, and you nodded with urgency. After glancing at Bakugou, he took a step back, awkwardly trying to make his boner mostly invisible behind his joggers. “Okay. I’d rather you not piss all over.”

Bakugou turned your head towards him, his glare immediately making your legs feel weak. “He’ll take you upstairs. I’m going to get more drinks and meet you up there. You better not be using this as an excuse, or I’ll have to punish you.”

“I-it’s not, Katsuki, I promise- mmph!” You were silenced as he kissed your lips roughly, his frustration at having to stop apparent. Then, with a rough tap to your ass, you were urged forward and into Kirishima’s arms. You didn’t get a chance to glance back at Bakugou as you were led through the crowd, Kirishima using his height and size to easily push through and bump people out of the way without too much inconvenience to you. Much to your surprise, he was quite attentive of you, pulling you out of the way of wild swinging arms and keeping a firm grip on you in case you were tripped by stray feet. 

By the time you finally reached the stairs, you were completely worn out and feeling like your bladder was about to erupt. Still, you made it up the stairs and into the singular bathroom before you could piss yourself, and as you sat on the toilet, you could truly feel how intoxicated you were. You weren’t sure if your mind was spinning from the alcohol, the weed, or the incredible rush that you had felt on the dancefloor. You could feel, however, that you were incredibly sweaty, your hair sticking to your forehead, cheeks and the back of your neck like it was glued to your skin. Though, the wetness at your cunt and spread across your inner thighs was even worse. 

You couldn’t believe that you had gotten so wet and turned on from what they had done to you. Even your pathetic excuse for underwear was completely soaked through, your essence thick and visible on the black fabric. The way they had cornered you like that wasn’t something that should have excited you so much, yet here you were, trembling and dripping wet. And now, you were caught up here in this room with Kirishima. Who knows how long it might take Bakugou to get the drinks, since the bar was incredibly busy and it had taken nearly fifteen minutes to get yours earlier. 

With a defeated sigh, you wiped and decided to clean yourself up the best you could, even patting your underwear with toilet paper. In the end, the attempt wasn’t very successful, and you almost wanted to rip them back off the instant you pulled them back up to your hips. 

After washing your hands and spending a few minutes fixing your hair and wiping your face and neck of sweat, you left the restroom, finding Kirishima standing near the coffee table with the weed pipe in his hands. He gave you a comforting smile as you approached, taking a hit and blowing the smoke away from you. “Feel better, sweetheart?” 

“Yes… Uhm… Why did-” 

“Want another hit?” Kirishima interrupted you, as if he knew exactly what you were about to ask and wanted to avoid it while he could. “You’re more relaxed now, you’ll get it this time. It’ll calm your nerves, too. You’re trembling like a leaf, babe.”

“I’m… not sure.” 

“You don’t want Bakugou to see you all nervous and uptight, do you?” 

The tone of his voice instantly made your stomach twist, able to hear the slightest twinge of a threat mixed in with the worried question. Of course you didn’t want Bakugou to see you like this. You had just been so peppy and energetic down on the dancefloor, he would surely be annoyed if you grew so timid all the sudden. So, without a word, you took the pipe and lighter, doing everything you could to ignore the twist at the corner of his lips. 

Letting out a trembling breath, you brought the pipe to your lips, able to inhale, hold, and exhale without any urges to cough outside of a slight clearing of your throat. Chuckling, Kirishima took the pipe and lighter from you, setting them down again. “See! Look at you! A natural.” 

“It’s stronger this time.” 

“Yeah, I cleaned it out and prepped it again while you were in the restroom.” As he spoke, you made your way over to the front of the room, looking out of the glass and down at the bar, scanning for the blonde you had left behind. It didn’t take you long to see him, sitting on a stool as he awaited the delivery of the drinks. Though, you instantly felt heat rush to your fluttering stomach, surprised to see that he was already staring up at you. You couldn’t see his expression, but you could almost feel the icy daggers of his glare on your skin. In fact, your entire body was tingling, your mind growing dull while your body felt like every inch of you was being lightly pricked with needles. It was as if you could feel everything. Your hair tickling the back of your neck. Your dress tight against your chest. Your hot and wet underwear clung tightly against your folds and your clit. 

“Find him?” Kirishima nearly startled you enough to make you jump as he came to stand beside you, looking around curiously at all the activity below. “He sticks out like a sore thumb, doesn’t he? Ah, there! He’s already looking up here, too. He’s so into you, babe.” 

“He is…?” 

“Oh yeah. And I can see why.” One of his large hands came to rest against your lower back, stepping in a bit closer to you. “You’re so cute and timid. Obedient.” His hand began to travel down along the curve of your ass, the slight sting of your welts from earlier making you tense and nibble at your lower lip. “Sexy. It’s hard to keep my hands off you.” 

“Katsuki might… get upset if you do anything when he’s not here.” You clutched at the bottom of your dress, trying to keep it down in the front while Kirishima slowly pulled it up from the back. 

“Oh you’re right, he might. Then you’d better not do anything to let him notice, hm? He’s watching us, after all.” His hand began to stroke along your ass, groping and squeezing with a firm grip. “Damn, you have a nice ass.” 

A small squeak escaped your lips as two if his fingers slipped between your cheeks, rubbing your sex on the outside of your underwear. “Kiri… I’m… I don’t want to without Katsuki here.” 

“You sure about that? ‘Cause your wet pussy is telling me otherwise.” With aggressive movements that made you involuntarily take a step closer to the glass, Kirishima moved his hand into your underwear. Without skipping a beat, his middle and ring fingers slid into your wet cunt with ease, forcing a sweet gasp from your lips. “Oh fuck, you’re tight. It’s no wonder Bakugou’s already obsessed after only fucking you once.” 

He began to move his fingers in and out of you, slowly dragging along your inner walls, being sure to keep them curved at just the right angle. Each time he dug them into you, he pressed right into your most sensitive areas, making your entire body tingle and soft moans escape your lips. Though, just as you were about to lean forward and stick your ass out for him, he gave a small hiss in warning. 

“Don’t move, sweetheart. You want him to notice?” He quickened his pace, as if he were trying to get you to give yourself away. Resting his body against the glass using one arm to prop himself up, he appeared completely casual. Since he was turned slightly towards you, he could use this angle for better leverage, digging his fingers into you faster and deeper. “But it’s not just him. Everyone down there can see us.” 

From down below, you were sure that there wasn’t anything suspicious about the two of you, and keeping that facade was completely up to you. Even so, how sensitive your body felt, and the pleasure was already beginning to make your legs weak, so you had to press your hand against the glass to support yourself. Your panting breaths fogged up the clear surface now that you were so close to it, even able to feel your hard nipples rub against the cold. It was so much stimulation so fast that you weren’t sure how long you were going to be able to hold out. 

Whining as you bit down on your bottom lip, you clenched your eyes shut tightly, digging your nails against the glass. “Kiri… please… He’ll notice!” 

“I wonder what he’ll do, then.” He began to alternate between fingering you and rubbing your clit, nearly crippling what little hold you had left on yourself. “He’d punish you, for sure, but I wonder how? Maybe he’ll spank that pretty ass until you’re crying. Or edge you over and over. Or not give you anything at all.” 

“I… please--” A moan cut you off as you began to feel yourself growing closer and closer to your release, placing both of your hands against the glass, now. “Please, I can’t hold it!” 

“Going to cum already? Let’s change it up a bit, then.” 

For a split second, you thought that he was going to completely stop as he removed his fingers from your aching and trembling cunt. Instead, you were met with a jolt of shock through your core as both of his fingers moved to your asshole, beginning to press into you without any warning. You couldn’t stop your hips from arching back towards his hand, your upper body and forehead firmly against the glass. “K-Kiri-!” 

“Ooh, looks like someone like their ass filled up, hm? What a shame Bakugou didn’t play with you here, that little squeak you just made was adorable.” His fingers slid into you up to his knuckles, bending and flexing them apart to make you moan and wiggle. “That’s it, sweetheart. You like your ass fucked?” 

“Y-yes,” you forced your eyes open, looking back down at Bakugou through the dark and flashing neon lights. He was still watching you, but there was something else. With the cover of the dark and his hips turned towards the counter, you could see him palming himself between his legs. Could he tell what was happening? Was he really getting off on it? “Kiri… I think he can tell- ah! Fuck!” Your voice cracked as he began to move his fingers within you, moving at an even quicker and more aggressive pace than he had been before. 

“He can? Well fuck, sweetheart, that means so can all the other people down there.” Kirishima moved in closer, pressing his lips against your flushed cheek, his smirk wide and eyes gleaming with enjoyment. “Can you feel their eyes on you? Watching you get off on me fingering your ass like the good little slut you are. You like being watched, don’t you?”

“I… I don’t want them all to see me! But Katsuki is… he’s watching…” 

“That’s right. He’s watching while I get to play with you. He’s so jealous he can’t help but watch, just waiting for his chance. You like that, don’t you?” 

“Yes… Yes, I like him watching me.” Your body began to rock with his movements, the pleasure building back up rapidly. “Just to know that Katsuki wants me so bad… It makes me so hot!” You couldn’t stop your voice as your hips arched further back, trembling legs spreading a bit. “Please! Please let me cum, Kiri! I want to cum while he watches me!” 

“Yeah, babe, cum all over my fingers. That’s it.” The encouraging grumble of his voice in your ear and the increased speed of his fingers within you immediately made you lose it, gasping and moaning against the glass as you struggled to stay up on your feet. The waves of pleasure that crashed over you were so intense, much more than you had ever felt just from a little assplay, but you didn’t care to try to rationalize why. 

“What a good girl.” Kirishima pressed his lips against your cheek in a playful kiss, removing his fingers and giving your backend a few light smacks. “How about we sit down for a while, hm? You need to relax a bit before Bakugou gets back up here.” 

Pushing yourself up off the glass, you didn’t think about looking for Bakugou again before you followed him over towards the couches on weak legs. You could still feel the remnants of your orgasm pulsing through your body, the slickness that you had wiped away in the bathroom once again coating your thighs and further soaking your underwear. His large, rough fingers had felt so good inside you, and although he had allowed you to cum, you were feeling severely unsatisfied and just all around… needy? Was that the right word to use? You wanted them to touch you, to hold and to praise you. But for now, it seemed as if Kirishima was perfectly content to wait a while, leaving you standing by the couches as he flopped to sit, resting back against the armrest with his legs up casually on the cushions. 

Nearly immediately, your dizzy gaze landed on the very obvious form of his cock beneath his joggers, reminding you immediately of what he had done to you on the dancefloor. Now that you could see it, your stomach fluttered with curiosity and interest, making you crave to have his cock in your hands. Walking over casually, you ignored his curious look as you took a moment to take off your shoes, before settling onto the couch between his legs. For the first time, you saw his cheeks flush, obviously having not expected you to suddenly be so handsy as you palmed along the hard length of his cock. 

“What’s up, sweetheart? Can’t wait?” 

“You’re… bigger than Katsuki?” 

Your question was met with a chuckle, Kirishima’s grin breaking his face as he allowed you to touch him. “Don’t let him hear you admit that. Not by much, but yeah, sure. Take a look.” 

With his permission, you pulled his pants down just enough to allow his cock to spring free, a shocked squeak nearly escaping your throat at the sight of him. It was true, he wasn’t any longer than Bakugou, but his girth was much more impressive. His flushed tip was pierced just as Bakugou’s had been, but he sported a bar through the underside of the blushing head that you recognized as a prince albert. For a moment, you wondered if all the band members had their dicks pierced, but that thought was quickly pushed to the back of your mind as his cock gave an impatient twitch. 

Without much consideration of the consequences, you took it into your hands, beginning to lightly pump and spread his precum around the tip and down his shaft. Kirishima gave a relieved sigh at your touch, resting one arm behind his head so he could relax and watch you. “Ah fuck… that’s it, nice and slow. Why don’t you spit on it a little, huh?” 

Leaning forward, you passionately rolled your tongue around his tip, before pulling back a bit and allowing your saliva to flow freely, using your hand to spread it down his length. The groan he gave made a smile creep across your lips as you sat back up from him, using both of your hands to stroke his cock with a firmer grip. “How’s that?” 

“Incredible. Fuck, babe… Let me see those pretty tits, huh?” 

Since your dress had low cut sleeves to begin with, it was easy for you to slip your arms out of them, before pulling the fabric down to expose your breasts to him. Not wearing a bra, they slipped easily from the tight dress, revealing your hard nipples and cute jeweled piercings. Leaning forward a bit closer to him, you continued to stroke his cock with the soft plushness of your chest around him, watching his face closely for any sign of approval. His usually smug or cheerful expression was hazed over with lust, crimson eyes watching your every move. He looked so cute and innocent, just like the man you had always seen on social media, and you loved that you had reduced him back to being his softer self just with a touch and a flash of your tits. 

Scooting your hips back a bit and propping yourself up on your knees, you leaned in and took him fully into your mouth, starting with just a sweet tease to his tip before taking him all the way down to the base. Kirishima immediately groaned and tensed beneath you, his large hand coming down to rest on the back of your head, gathering up your hair to keep it out of the way for you. “Oh fuck, damn it! Look at you, taking my cock so well. Such a good girl-” 

Suddenly, the sound of the door opening startled you both and you nearly gagged from the sudden pressure Kirishima put on the back of your head. Unable to move and unable to see, all you could do was listen to the booming voice from behind you while you tried to find some room to breathe with the cock down your throat. 

“You horny fuckers couldn’t even wait until I got back?” Bakugou’s voice was followed by the sound of the door slamming shut, along with the click of the lock. “I spend all that fucking time down there getting drinks for us and you decide to fool around without me?!” 

“Hey man, I didn’t start this! She wanted to suck my dick herself. Oh shit, sorry, sweetheart!” Kirishima released your head as you whined and wiggled to try and get yourself free, allowing you to come up. Coughing, you glowered up at Kirishima as you placed a hand over your throat, spitting the excess saliva that had gathered in your mouth onto his cock in retaliation. 

“Oh did she?” Bakugou came up behind you, putting the drinks down on the table before taking a hold of your hair and pulling you back so you were looking up at him. “And what about that little show you put on against the windows? Whose idea was that?” 

Your face flushed, stomach bubbling nervously as your fears that he could tell were confirmed. And yet, you only grew hotter, biting down onto your bottom lip as you peered up at him though your lashes. For a moment, you considered lying and saying that you had started it all, just to see what he would do, but the ever honest Kirishima spoke up first. 

“I couldn’t help it, man. She has a nice ass. But I didn’t tell her to act all obvious, she just couldn’t control herself.” 

“That’s because she’s nothing but a slut.” Still using his grip on your hair, Bakugou forced you back down so that your lips were pressed against the wet tip of Kirishima’s cock, not giving you any other choice but to open your mouth and take him in. Again, your head was forced all the way down to his pelvis, your nose pressing against his skin. As you whined, your eyes began to tear up from the pressure and uncomfortable presence deep in your throat, digging your nails into Kirishima’s hips to try and stop him from shifting beneath you. 

Struggling to breathe through your nose, you could feel your dress being pushed up around your hips, Bakugou’s free hand gripping your ass and spreading you open with no regard for the stinging welts he had left earlier that night. “Fuck, what the hell are these? Did you expect to get fucked tonight, baby?” His rough fingers stroked along your lace panties, before pulling them down away from your hips and to your thighs. “Look how fucking wet you are, too. Did that moron make you cum?” 

When he released your head, you pulled up slowly, gazing up at Kirishima to watch his flushed face and listen to his groans. Once your lips left him, you didn’t bother to spit or clean up the thick saliva and precum that dribbled from your tongue, using it to instead stroke him firmly with both hands. “Yes, Katsuki,” You choked out through your sore throat, arching your hips further up as Bakugou gripped your ass with both hands, spreading you open to watch your twitching cunt. “He made me cum while you watched. While the whole club could see.” 

“Did you like that I was watching?” Bakugou ran his thumb in slow circles against your clit. “Did that get you off, you nasty fuck?” 

“Mm, yes-” Your pace quickened, almost hypnotized by the way Kirishima reacted to your touch as Bakugou teased you. “I loved it.” 

“And how did he make you cum, huh?” The sound of a zipper and shifting clothing was lost behind his voice and the pounding in your ears. As your lips pressed against the tip of Kirishima’s cock to prepare to take him again, a moan interrupted you, your hips arching back up into Bakugou’s touch as two of his fingers slipped into your wet pussy. “Did he finger your slutty cunt?” 

“Yes,” Spurred on by the pleasure, you ran your tongue up and down along Kirishima’s throbbing shaft, your free hand pushing his joggers further down out of the way so you could cup and massage his balls. Kirishima gave a grunt, reaching down to dig his fingers into your hair again. 

“C’mon, sweetheart, tell him the truth.” 

“The truth? Tch, I bet I know what he did.” Removing his fingers from within you, they both slid up to your asshole, sinking in with ease and making your entire body shudder with a moan. “Your ass, huh? I should have fucking known. Fine, then.” Shifting his hips closer, you could feel the presence of his cock between your cheeks when he removed his hand, gripping your hips instead. “Let me fill up this slutty little hole for you.” 

Before you could truly ground yourself, the tip of his thick cock slipped into your asshole with just as much ease as his fingers, forcing a sharp gasp from your lips. Biting down onto your bottom lip as he sunk in inch by inch, you buried your face into Kirishima’s pelvis, your entire body trembling. Just as before, his size was more than you had ever taken before in either hole, and he left you feeling full and breathless. 

“K-Katsuki--!” 

“That’s right, babygirl. Moan my fucking name.” With a rough snap of his hips to start his quick pace, you cried out against Kirishima’s skin, your hand leaving his cock to instead dig your nails into his toned stomach. “How’s my fat cock feel, huh? Stretching your tight asshole-- ah fuck, baby!” As you constricted around him in response to the pleasure and his filthy mouth, he only fucked you faster and harder, his balls slapping against your clit and sending jolts of hot white pleasure through your body. 

For a while, you were completely engrossed in the feeling of his cock inside you, until a smack of Kirishima’s cock to your cheek reminded you that he was still here, too. Although it was nearly impossible for you to hold back your voice, you sat up and took his cock into your mouth again, using the pleasure to push yourself harder to please him more aggressively. 

“Ah shit! Damn!” Kirishima once again gripped onto your head, but with both hands this time. “Wait, wait! Hold still-” Using his grip on your head, he shifted his legs a bit, using new leverage to begin thrusting his hips up to fuck your mouth at his own pace. Completely at their mercy, you supported yourself with your arms against the couch, your eyes once again tearing up from the rough throat fucking and pleasure abusing your mind. The moans and filthy, lewd wet noises that came from your mouth were uncontrollable, as was the saliva and tears that coated Kirishima’s cock. 

It was painful.

It was hot. 

It was an absolute dream. 

And yet, you wanted more. You wanted these men to completely destroy you, to leave you as nothing but a twitching mess leaking their cum. 

“Want to swallow my cum, sweetheart?” 

With Kirishima’s question, you found the chance to try and get your way, giving a miniscule shake of your head as you reached up to try and push his hands off you. Bakugou scoffed, not letting up on his pace. 

“The fuck? Just cum, don’t ask her-” 

“Shut up, man, she’s trying to say something,” Allowing you up off his cock, you took a moment to cough, which was difficult behind your urge to moan and gasp in air. 

“I want both of your cocks inside me!” You finally choked out when you had a chance, gazing up at Kirishima with your flushed, teary and begging expression. “Please fill me up with both of your cocks! I need them!” A squeak escaped your lips as Bakugou grabbed you by the arms, pulling you up against his chest as his hand wrapped around your neck. 

“Beg harder,” He growled in your ear, one hand gripping your breast as he fucked you harder. For a moment, your mind went blank with the pleasure, unsure of what you had even wanted outside of Bakugou’s dick buried so deep inside of you. The pleasure in your core was near cracking, and as you looked down at Kirishima to see him pumping his own cock at the sight of you being ruined, it only spiked higher. 

“I want you to both fuck me! Please! Please, Katsuki, I’m begging you! I-- aah, fuck! Fuck!” Leaning your head back, it wasn’t another second before you came hard, your body tensing in his grip and rocking back against his hips as they also came to a stop from how hard you squeezed around him. Giving a low growl in satisfaction, Bakugou held your body tightly back against him, digging his cock as deep into you as he could get with a light bucking of his hips. 

“Oh fuck, babygirl, that’s it. Such a naughty bitch, cumming from being fucked in the ass like that. And you still want more, huh?” Bakugou spoke low in your ear, and although you were beyond high on the release, you found it within yourself to nod. 

Smirking against your cheek, Bakugou removed his cock from you. “Fine then.” While you were still trying to regain control of your dizzy mind, he gave you a rough nudge, forcing your weak and trembling body to fall forward onto Kirishima. The redhead caught you by the arms to help you steady yourself, giving an annoyed huff as he guided you up to straddle his hips. 

“Watch it, man! She could have crushed my dick, then I’d be outta luck!” 

“Shut the fuck up. I’m sick of waiting, if you don’t get a move on, I’m kicking your fucking ass out of here.” 

“Boys, boys.” You pushed yourself up on your arms so you were balanced on all fours, smiling down at Kirishima through your lustful haze. “There’s no need to argue.” Reaching down between your bodies, you took hold of Kirishima’s cock, holding it steady as you ran your dripping wet sex along it, teasing your sensitive clit. “I’m here for you both to use me. As much as you want.” Looking back over your shoulder, you caught Bakugou’s glare, though it quickly flicked back down to your hips as you began to lower yourself down onto Kirishima’s cock, letting him slip into your pussy slowly. “You like watching, Katsuki?” 

Bakugou scoffed, his face flushing. “You’d better fucking watch it, whore. Don’t forget who owns your stupid ass.” 

“But I love it when you watch me,” You let out an airy moan as Kirishima filled you up all the way to the base, not leaving a single inch of you untouched. “Just to know that I turn you on so much without even having to touch you. Even if it’s another man… Even if it’s Kiri’s fat cock inside me. It makes me so happy, Katsuki.” Steading yourself with your hands against Kirishima’s stomach, you began to roll your hips, sighing and cursing softly from the pleasure. “Fuck, so big! Both of your cocks are so big and perfect!” 

As Kirishima gripped onto your hips tightly, he was immediately taken over by the euphoria he felt being buried so deep within your wet pussy, using his strength to guide your body to start bouncing on his cock instead. “That’s it, sweetheart. Fuck, your pussy is so tight!” It wasn’t another few seconds before he couldn’t resist thrusting his hips up into you, holding you steady as he ravaged your wet and clenching cunt at his own pace. He was hard and rough, slamming into you like a man starved, desperate for the pleasure and release he craved. “You’re such a perfect little slut.” 

Now forced to lean forward, weak arms propping you up on either side of his body, you allowed him to fuck you as he wished, each slam of his tip against your cervix blurring your vision with white sparks of pleasure. The way his thick cock filled you up and his piercing rubbed against your inner walls was building up your pleasure so rapidly that your body became completely weak, arms collapsing under you until you were laying on his chest. Somehow, you found the mental focus to look over your shoulder, your body flushing hotter at the sight of Bakugou eagerly pumping his own cock, his glare locked on the way that Kirishima was using you. 

“Ka- Katsuki,” You choked out through your moans, doing everything you could to keep hold of your mind for just a moment longer. “Please watch me while I cum! Please! A-ah! Kiri, w-wait, I--!” As the redhead grew rougher with you, there wasn’t anything you could do to hold back the pleasure any longer, and your orgasm ripped through your body like a spark of lightning, making your entire body tense and tremble. “Fuck! Fucking hell, that fat cock is so fucking good!” 

“Damn right it is, sweetheart.” Kirishima landed a hard smack to your currently unmarked asscheek. “You like being fucked by big cocks?” 

“Yes… I’ve never had cocks like this though…” You turned your face more into the skin of his chest, ignoring the sweat and drool. “Both of you… So perfect…” 

“We aren’t even done with you yet, sweetheart.” Taking hold of your ass in both hands, Kirishima spread you open, addressing the blond that still sat behind you, who was oddly quiet and patient. “C’mon, man. Let’s give her what she really wants.” 

For a moment, you felt embarrassed at the fact that Kirishima was holding your cheeks apart, your pussy still stuffed with his cock and your asshole twitching in anticipation. Looking over your shoulder again, you caught Bakugou’s gaze, the pleading expression in your eyes instantly bringing a wicked and excited smirk to his lips. That initial embarrassment spiked, holding your breath as Bakugou came in closer, taking over the task of holding your ass open. 

The tip of his cock, hot and blushing with the need for his own release, teased your tight, unoccupied hole, the feeling of his frenum piercing rolling across your skin bringing a whimper from your throat. You wanted it so much that it was nearly painful to have to wait like this. You felt powerless in the situation, only able to wait for them to decide to begin, and the anticipation was making your stomach flutter and roll. The butterflies escaped your lips with the sound of a small plea, barely audible even by you, but Bakugou was quick to take notice. 

“What’s that, babygirl?” 

“P-please…” You pushed the word out with your strangled breath, still watching him from over your shoulder. “Please don’t make me keep waiting!” You bit down onto your bottom lip as his thumb rolled over the waiting hole, teasingly dipping it in to the first knuckle. “Mm... Katsuki--” A sharp gasp escaped your lips as he landed a rough spank to your already bruised and abused cheek from earlier that night in the dressing room, the spike of pain making your body tense. Kirishima groaned and wiggled beneath you, his hips bucking lightly impatiently as your core squeezed tightly around him in reaction to the pain. 

“Aah fuck! Shit, sweetheart, don’t squeeze so tight like that, it’s hard enough not to fuck your brains out right now.” 

“What’s the matter? She’s too tight for ya?” Bakugou landed another hard, full palmed smack to your ass, forcing a sharp moan from your lips and your tensing body bringing Kirishima into another series of squirming. “I’m surprised you’re still in this, you’re usually a two-pump chump!” Then, the instant your body calmed, he shoved his entire length into you in one fell swoop, his hips meeting with the red plushness of your ass. “Fuck… How can she be such a perfect little slut?” 

The sudden feeling of being so full knocked all the air out of your lungs, your back arching to try to accommodate them both, digging your nails into the fabric of the couch. Your mind was so overwhelmed with the pressure that you could barely hear Kirishima snapping back at Bakugou for the insult he had given him, only hearing the sound of his voice without comprehending words. They were both buried so deep inside you that you worried you might split apart if they started moving, and with that realization, another came to the front of your dizzy mind. 

You’ve never had two dicks inside you at the same time. 

Never. 

With how excited and desperate you had been for it, the men must have assumed that you had and weren’t going to go easy on you. You wanted to speak, to say anything to tell them the truth, but you found it nearly impossible to pull enough air into your lungs to speak. They were about to absolutely ruin you, and you wondered in that moment if you’d be able to take it, or if you’d beg for mercy with the first thrust. 

It was Kirishima who moved first, thrusting his hips upwards slow and shallow, forcing a cry from your throat and your eyes to clench shut, hiding in his chest. “Shh, sweetheart, we got you.” Since Bakugou was holding onto your hips, Kirishima’s hands were free to caress you, one on your side and the other on the back of your head. With his tender touch, however, came longer strokes of his cock inside you, the overwhelming presence pushing tears from behind your closed eyelids. “Just breathe.” 

Bakugou, however, was not as merciful. He picked up on Kirishima’s rhythm, pulling himself all the way out to the tip before plunging back into your tense and constricting asshole. Bakugou hissed, digging his fingers into your plush hips, his blunt nails stinging your skin. “Fucking hell, babygirl, you’re just sucking me right in. Damn-!” A groan escaped him as he picked up his pace, your body starting to rock between them as the skin of his pelvis slapped against your red and abused cheeks. 

“A-ah, Katsuki-!” You nearly screamed out in shock, though your face was still buried into Kirishima’s chest. “Not so fast! Please!” 

“Oh no, babe. You begged for this. We’re giving you exactly what you asked for.” 

As if picking up on a cue, Kirishima also increased his pace, until they were both thrusting into you as deep as they could possibly get, hard and fast. Though, with their increased pace came a new feeling washing over you, pushing past the dull, uncomfortable pain. They were filling up every inch of you, caressing you and staying as perfectly in sync as they could, doing everything they could to pleasure you. And that was all you could feel. 

The pleasure. 

It pulsed through every inch of you like shockwaves, sending it rocketing up your body and down your limbs. There was no other word that you could think of to describe it besides “perfect”, and you knew that there would never be another set of men in your entire life that could make you feel this way. That could use you like this, making you feel so vulnerable yet adored at the same time. No matter the reason, these two men who you loved dearly, wanted you. 

And damn, you were happy. 

“Fuck, yes-!” You finally choked out, finding a smidgen of strength to allow you to prop yourself up on your elbows. Still, your head hung slack, your tear-filled eyes rolled up and mouth open with unending moans. “Your cocks feel so good inside me!” 

“There she is,” Deep groan reverberating in his chest from your encouragement, Bakugou increased his place, giving you another firm slap on the ass. “That’s right, you slut. Now tell me who you belong to.” 

“You! You, Katsuki-!” 

“-And?”

“-Kiri! I belong to both of you! I’m your little slut, please do whatever you want with me! Just please don’t stop, I want to feel your cum inside me!” 

If you were honest, you weren’t sure how long they ravaged you like this. You came again, before your body was just too overly stimulated, and all you could do was lay there against Kirishima’s chest, moaning and trembling constantly. There wasn’t a rational or clear thought in your head, only able to focus on their dicks inside you, and their increasingly loud moans and grunts. 

They were getting close. 

“Fucking shit-” Bakugou was barely able to get the curse out before his hips began to shutter, his thrusts becoming erratic and shallow until he released inside of you, the hot feeling of his cum pulling you back into full consciousness. You peeked at him over your shoulder the best you could through your wild hair, finding his flushed, sweaty, and satisfied image endearing. You felt so empty with his exit, but you didn’t have much time to focus on that, as Kirishima immediately scooped you up and flipped you both over so you were beneath him. 

Smirk on his lips, he bent your legs back up to your chest, his pace and depth only increasing and sending you into another round of incoherent moans. 

“That’s it, sweetheart. I want to see that pretty face when I fill you up with my cum.” 

Clutching onto his arms tightly, your nails dug into his biceps as your eyes stayed locked on the way his hips moved, almost hypnotized by the sight of his cock slamming in and out of your abused cunt. The veiny girth that was absolutely coated in your slick found no resistance, and with this new visual paired with the feeling of rapid dragging along your clenching walls, you could feel another orgasm peaking fast. “K-Kiri-!” 

“Going to cum on my fat cock again, huh? Go on- Ah, oh fuck-!” A hiss escaped through his teeth as you came, your entire body quivering, cunt clenching around him and head leaning back. Your moans hitched and shook uncontrollably, unsure of exactly how loud you were as your mind fogged over with the endless waves of pleasure paired with the new heat that flooded your core with Kirishima’s release. The redhead that pinned you down was rough with his release, his hips rutting against yours with sharp snaps and deep grinding, which only prolonged your release until you were nothing but a limp, trembling mess. 

“Look at you. You’re so damn pretty.” Kirishima’s voice barely registered in your mind, as did the clicking sound of a phone taking pictures. “Bakugou, come hold her legs back.” 

Your teary gaze landed on Bakugou as he came to stand near your head, taking your calves into his hands and pulling them back so you were further contorted. With the movement, Kirishima removed his cock from within you, leaving you feeling incredibly empty, though the heat of his cum leaking out of you was very noticeable. With a whine as your knees were pressed on either side of your head, you weakly gripped onto Bakugou’s hands, looking up at him with exhausted, innocent curiosity. Fluffy blonde hair stuck to his face that was coated with sweat, Bakugou smirked down at you, glancing over every inch of your body. 

“Fuck babygirl, you should see yourself. You’re a mess.” 

You swallowed hard against your dry and aching throat, smiling softly as your hand traveled up and down his forearm tenderly. “All… all for you.” The sound of the phone's camera going off finally got your attention and you looked at Kirishima instead, your stomach fluttering nervously at the sight of him snapping pictures of your body. “P-pictures…?” 

“I’ve never seen a pussy this pretty, sweetheart. And it’s just dripping with my jizz… Your ass is, too, with your cheeks all fucking red from Bakugou spanking you. You’re a damn masterpiece, baby. I should have recorded this whole thing.” Obviously filming now, Kirishima ran his thumb from your asshole up along your cunt and to your clit, dragging the mess of cum with him. After a few teasing rolls of your clit, he brought his thumb up to your mouth, not even having to say a word before you opened wide to suck the digit clean. “Damn that’s hot.” 

“Save that recording shit for later. There will be plenty to shoot back at the hotel. Right, babygirl?” Bakugou released your legs, allowing you to close them and rest them comfortably to the side. Once your mouth was free of Kirishima’s fingers, you licked your lips, eyes locked on your celebrity crush as he gazed down at you expectantly. 

Any rational thought that should have peaked in your mind was smothered by a screaming need to stay with him, to do whatever he wanted just so that you could be in his presence for as long as possible. Before you knew it, you were up on trembling knees, turning to face him and timidly clutching on tightly to the front of his shirt. “Yes, Katsuki. Anything you want.” 

“That’s right,” Bakugou pulled you in closer, latching his arms around your torso and kissing you with a gentle passion that sent your heart racing. “You’ll do anything for me.” 

“And for me.” Kirishima came up to press himself against your back, his hands tightly on your hips as he kissed your cheek playfully. You couldn’t resist a soft giggle from escaping your lips, both of your arms wrapping around Bakugou’s torso tightly. 

“Mm, yes! Anything for both of you-” 

KNOCK KNOCK

“Hey, are you three done in there yet!? Hurry up! We have girls and more drinks, and I have to piss!” 

“The couches better still be clean!” 

Kirishima chuckled, releasing you with a final pat to your backside before hopping up and fixing his clothes back into proper place. “Shit, sorry, just a sec!” 

Bakugou, however, didn’t bother responding to them, kissing you again tenderly while pulling your dress back down to cover your hips. “I hope you’re ready, babygirl.” 

“For what?” 

“The afterparty is just getting started. I hope that partying with your favorite band will be everything you ever dreamed of.” 

“As long as I get to be close to you, Katsuki, I’ll do anything. Anything at all.” 

“That’s my good girl.”

[poisonousquinzel]

https://lady-ha-ha.tumblr.com/post/160715688748/is-that-comic-before-the-reboot-and-which-one-is

(I have not read this comic) Is this true? (if so, ivy deserves someone better).

Post

Kay, first off both of those people are Jarley shippers so take everything they say with a grain of salt and then some, cause no. that part isn't about how much Harley loves Joker and will always choose him over Ivy. Literally you can tell ops don't know what they're talking about cause her whole thing in those issues is going to kill him for years of graphic abuse but ultimately falls back with him once she’s face to face with him.

Like wow, congrats on missing the fucking point again but not surprised from people who ship her with The Fucking Joker.

also, ffs, can anyone please have basic comprehension skills and realize that Harley and Ivy are both fucked up sometimes because they’ve got issues and that’s not comparable to Joker’s long ass history of graphic and disgusting abuse.

Harley and Ivy are villains, they're not a wholesome cookie cutter, White Picket Fence, super vanilla ship with no bad moments. They're both bad guys with a fuck ton of trauma that they both have to work through, and have done so at this point. 

Gotham City Sirens was published between 2009 - 2011, Harley and Ivy weren't blatantly romantic at this point nor had they had anywhere near the development that they’ve had at this point.

Like don’t go into Harlivy content expecting them to be the perfect wlw rep with no flaws during their arcs from BTAS to current time cause that’s just not realistic. They’re both deeply flawed people who’ve got a fuck ton of trauma that they need to (and have) worked through. 

I have talked about the BTAS issues here and this post is good at explaining them too. 

X

X

Harlivy is not and has never been a purely wholesome, goody-goody ship. They’re messy, they have issues, and they have bad moments sometimes, but they both worked through their seperate trauma and came out stronger and better because at the end of the day, they care about each other. 

Harlivy has messy, toxic moments sometimes, but they’re not, and have never been, abusive. There’s a difference between unhealthy moments and a ship being abusive. 

That’s completely different to how Joker acts Constantly, because he does not care that his actions towards Harley are abusive, because he doesn’t give a shit about her. 

He enjoys hurting her. He enjoys ruining her. 

Jarley has always been intended to be written and shown as a domestically abusive relationship.

This is also the first instance where it's directly referenced that there's something more than platonic between her and Ivy, other than the reference in Batgirl Adventures. 

Gotham City Sirens is also not connected to any verses.

This didn’t happen in the timeline we’re in rn with Harley Quinn (2014)/(2016)/(2021).

Comic timelines and shit are stupid and make everything more confusing and awful and I hate it sdfjdksksdkjsd

-

this is gonna be a long post since ops wanna just cut and paste random bits of the issues like jarley stans always do (cause jarley never has good moments that aren’t entirely surrounded by him abusing her) I’m going to show them in full context. *added a keep reading cause it is a lot

(All panels shown are from #15, #18, #19, #20, #21, #23, #24, #25)

So, Harley's entire thing at this point in the GCS comic in that she's been triggered by flashbacks of Joker's abuse and she breaks into Arkham with the intent to kill him.

The entire thing in these issues is showing her smarts and how she knows people's trump cards to get under their skin so she can break into Arkham. 

She’s trained to identify these things in people and she's fucking good at pushing people's buttons. 

this is also just one of my fav Harley covers so I wanted to show it jsdjksdks

“Trump cards. Everyone has one. Places where the armor we build around ourselves is weakest.” 

She’s right. And it’s now shown that Harley’s willing to use those below the belt trump cards if she has to.  

And frankly, I’d say this is worse than what she says to Ivy. And I’m not surprised she did it. She didn’t want to, she tried to get him to just open the door - 

“Don’t make me do this, Aaron. There are some secrets that should stay hidden. Things you should never learn about your own life.” 

but she’s also entirely fueled by rage and the desire to kill Joker. She came here for a reason and she’s not leaving until she’s done it.

“I’m going to kill you. For everything you’ve done to me. All the times you’ve made me feel useless and small. For all the times I will never forget. For all the things I can never forgive. All the memories -”

“Hello, Harley. I’ve missed you.” 

“Memories. That’s all I have left. The past is gone and all I have is... memories. 

Memories.

Memory. 

Gone.

I guess I too have a trump card.”

“Oh, Ivy. You know exactly what my answer is going to be. But you’re hoping you’re wrong, aren’t you?”

She’s also right about this, they already mentioned this in #18.

“How did I become the bad guy?”

“You’re the one choosing a man over her girls.”

“Are you kidding me? You would never say that to Harley, and we both know she’d dumb us in a flat second if Joker called her.”

“Hey! That’s not fair-- Actually, that’s probably true.”

“The difference is, she can’t help it. You can. And she’s working on it. You’re not working on it.” 

“Too easy, Ivy. Too easy. I know your weak spots. Now I just need to push.”

This is exactly what she’s been doing since the starting point of this post. She’s still in that mindset and she knows she can’t beat her on a regular battle field. Neither of them can. 

“Like I said-- You beat me in any level playing field. But I don’t fight on those fields.” 

Harley’s biggest strength as a villain is her ability to completely mentally stall her opponents and learn their weak spots. She wouldn’t win against the majority of the Big Bads if she didn’t fight on a different field than they are. 

so, like yeah, out of context what she says to Ivy seems awful and completely screwed up, and it is, but it’s also built up really well and it’s completely in character for her at this point in her fall during these issues. 

Is what she did fucked? absolutely. It’s not painted that it’s not. 

Ivy Literally Goes To Kill Her For It.

In the end of this all three of them are recaptured by Catwoman and Batman and that’s where we’re starting off at again. 

“Oh, Harley.

The only human I’ve ever called a friend.

To what lengths will I go? Where are my own limits? She is the Strangler fig. And I am the tree, choking underneath. 

Without me, she could never grow. 

But without her, I would fall if I grew too tall.” 

“Will she ever stand by herself? 

Will she ever be ready? 

She is in throes of madness. She sees him, her brain flooding with adrenaline, it makes her excited, nervous, then the feelings start to fade, and she needs more. And more. 

She sees it as passion. She sees it as love. 

But it’s not. It’s addiction. And she’s relapsing.” 

Ivy is well aware of the nature of their relationship. She’s not stupid and she’s been shown already to know that it’s something that takes time. It’s not a one off break up and it’s over. That’s not how abusve relationships work. 

What do I do?

I could use my pheromones to alter her brain chemistry.

I could leave her behind abandoning her to the wilds of her own mind.

I could kill her right now.

Show her how red Nature can be.

There's one other option.

It would require patience.

Even love.

Maybe I'm more human than I want to admit.

"You have one chance to answer this."

I know, if she agrees, she'll be doing it for revenge. For him.

"She put us behind bars."

But maybe if I get away from this place, if I give her something else to think about. Maybe she can break the cycle. But it has to be her choice.

"I'm going to kill her. Come with me."

So yeah, it’s definitely not a just “Harley hurts her and runs off with Joker and it’s just a plain ol’ her choosing him over everyone and that’s that.” 

Jarley shippers love to just reduce all her scenes and arcs down to their “epic love” and shit, but that’s taking away literally everything about her and reducing it down to the 3 panels that they’re “cute” in. Her arc in this part is fucking heartbreaking to read.

And Ivy damn well knows what’s going on with her. She’s smart and she’s the one that’s been there throughout all of this. She found her in the park after he shot her out of a rocket. 

And she knows it’ll take time for Harley to get over and through his manipulation, that’s just how it works with abusive relationships. 

But she’s also not forgiving at first, she’s mad and rightfully so, until she sees the sate of Harley’s cell and realizes how bad her addiction is at that time.

A lot of the unhealthy moments on Harley’s side when it comes to them are directly caused from the effects of being in an abusive relationship with Joker. Because she’s always in this area of her journey in those moments. She’s never fully over him or emancipated. 

And that’s realistic. It’s hard sometimes to be friends with someone who’s in abusive relationships like theirs, having to watch them return to that person time and time again and it’s frustrating after a while. 

I know from personal experience, it’s really hard to watch someone you care about go back or forgive someone that continues to hurt them. 

But abuse victims desperately need a support system outside of their abuser. It’s a crucial part of being able to escape, because when they do try to get out they need someone there or they’ll literally have no where to go but back into their abuser’s arms.

It’s heartbreaking and it’s really rough for everyone effected, but that’s just how it is most of the time. Especially in their case, as they’re not just regular folk dealing with this. 

If she doesn’t have Ivy, Harley has no one else to go to but Joker, on more than just an emotional level. 

She’s lost her job. Her income. Her home. Her livelihood. Her everything.

Most of the time she has no other choice but to return to a life of crime after she’s released from Arkham because she can’t get a job, she’s a notorious criminal and she’s got a lot of issues that don’t just disappear with a bit of therapy. 

She has no other choice but to return to Joker because the other alternative is the streets. At least she knows what to expect with him. 

And that’s not even getting into the manipulation, gaslighting and degrading abuse that he drills into her constantly. 

He’s made her believe she’s not anything without him. That she’s not smart or useful or anything. 

And that’s why it’s so damn important for her to have a support system and why he’s so damn against Ivy. 

Because Ivy is the good voice on her shoulder telling her he’s wrong and that she doesn’t deserve that. 

-

And on Ivy’s side, she’s aware she gets very near cutting off all parts of her humanity. 

She’s a plant goddess, she’s insanely powerful and she feels everything through the green. Frankly, she’s not even on the same playing field as these villains. She’s significanty more powerful than Harley and Joker. 

Her connection to Harley is what keeps her humanity in tack, because despite everything, she does care about her. She was the first person she let in, the first person Ivy called a friend. 

The person that was able to get through to her in #14/#15 when she was losing herself. The one that was able to get through to her that the dude was manipulating her. 

“Ivy, I know you think you love this guy... but you’re just gonna end up strapped to his rocket!”

She had to knock her out for the dude to trust her / not attack them anymore. But Harley got through to her by mentioning how they first met in the park when she saved her after Joker shot her off in a rocket.

And Ivy is understandable turned off towards humans considering her origin and trauma around that. 

She’s got a lot of trust issues.

But both of them work through their seperate traumas over the years because their affection for each other is stronger than the issues their trauma has given them.

-

and also, sometimes, they just have shit writers. that’s an issue overall in comic fandoms. Some writers just fucking suck at getting any of the characters right, let alone LGBT characters, who’re notoriously treated like garbage by DC. 

[wattpadscapcons]

About that comment you did that Utsuro "Defaults to kindness when he's bored", it makes sense when you compare his actions pre-despair with those of the other two "My talent(s) makes everything boring for me" characters. Junko pretty much caused the apocalypse because she was bored with everything except Despair, and Izuru just stays in the sidelines until something/one catches his attention. Meanwhile, Utsuro tried to use the Divine Luck to help people when he was bored.

The following broadcast was recorded in front of a studio audience.

Characters Analyzed/ Talked About: Utsuro, Izuru, Junko, Muruko, Hajime, Makoto, Yuki, Akane

Information Sources: Dra, Sdra2, Sdr2, Despair Girls, Slight lean on the anime for help, mutual's au that I adore (I only prove it to be possible don't @ me for adoring the consistent details and amount of work put into such a cute au)

=

I mean he did it in attempts to feel something, and that was what made me value him more as a person and ultimately feel more sympathetic to his death. He was also the only one out of the three that wanted to and went through several methods to try to end it all quietly and peacefully. Compared to Junko who wanted to bring everyone down with her, he is the most sympathetic mastermind we have ever had in a series like this.

There is even proof that he did this, as the second games plot almost revolves around that fact, adding along with the ending of dra. I don't like how Kinjo took the opportunity that Utsuro gave him and turned himself into a bitter criminal. The various people he had saved often turned rather bitter individuals in general, leading to the events that unfolded in the second game. I do not think that Utsuro had any idea that this would have happened nor wanted that kind of effect in the first place. He wanted to help others that were just as damaged as him. They let the sins of greed and envy course through their veins until there was nothing left to consume them.

One could make the comment that he is the lawless hero turned anti-hero via manipulation. Utsuro seemed utterly intimidated by that devil you'd call a diva. She in a way, was much more powerful than he was from the very beginning, and that is very, very scary to think about given the context.

Which makes it about a thousand times funnier how Makoto just ripped through her entire plan with a metaphorical "got you bitch".

=

I'd love to see how Utsuro and Hajime would have interacted. Izuru would have maybe kept his attention just as Junko seemed to due to that common trait of being bored of every damn thing in existence.

There was something really weird about Izuru though. Wasn't he to answer to the heads of the academy that initially created him in the first place? I can understand with his moral compass being wiped would have made it easy to say that he let everything around him fall him purely due his lack of caring. There is a very big flaw with that though, as Hajime was also aware was he not? That would explain why Izuru had such a teary reaction to Chiaki's death.

It's fair to say that Hajime most likely knows exactly what happened, but was too burred back to react to it until that even, causing Izuru to break away from Junko as response. That also explains the destruction of the Skirokuma and Kurokuma-Junko assimilated Monokuma bots at the end of Despair Girls.

He was the only one out of the three that also didn't have a desire to die, but I wonder if that was because of Hajime's will or Izuru's own choice not to do or express anything about the topic itself. I do not believe in the title that was given to him, he was not the Ultimate Hope, as he had no moral compass. He was a manufactured hope, a failed experiment that costed the lives of the entire Hope's Peak student body and staff, save for the remnants and Makoto's surviving class members.

Utsuro may have been able to get along with both sides of that coin, but I have a feeling he'd alter a the timeline had they met before the Kamakura project took place. It would have been either a good, or rather, really really bad outcome for him. Be blessed by Utsuro, only to most likely be killed by Junko's manipulating anime with the rest of the reserve course. What a sad fate that would be. I'm glad Hajime is ok though, sarcastic boys are great.

=

I'm not sure what would have happened if he had met Makoto before being pulled by Junko's strings. He was already dead before the events of Makoto's killing game.... That's what I really liked about your au, because you got it right. Utsuro was dead before it all, I see all of these like "adoption" aus that have the flaw of incorrect timing it just rubs me the wrong way.

I wonder if Mukuro was sympathetic too, she had a great love her sister that much I can tell you. She stayed with that bitch regardless of all the abuse she was dished out to receive for doing so. Even ignoring the times where Junko tried attacking her with a knife (in the anime). It was only at the moment of her death that Mukuro most likely understood that she was never going to get anything back from her "younger" sister, which only threw her into more despair during her death.

=

Your whole au with Makoto being able to deal with both Utsuro and Mukuro are totally possible in a way with two possibilities.

1. Utsuro showed up before the events of Mukuro's death

2. Mukuro had possessed Makoto before Utsuro showed up, but he appeared before the events of the first trial with Sayaka and Leon

=

I'm not too sure as to how Akane plays in that mix in any other way other than to follow Utsuro to his grave. Which with her body being alive but braindead, is almost impossible due to the power of Divine Luck. Sure even Yuki takes her body after Sdra2 but does the warrant the death to her altogether? I'm not entirely sure...

The only theory I can come up with is that with the process of Yuki overriding her, her soul was then released and replaced. That's the only way I can see that she would be able to do that, but I'm not sure when Akane would be able to be released as Yuki was overrode after the events of Sdr2 in the Neo World Program. She would have had to waited years to be released to attach onto Makoto, who already was possessed by Mukuro and Utsuro. I don't know if that you were really thinking about that when creating most of your fanart or not, but this theory would be consistent with a large majority of your drawings.

=

Thanks for sitting through another one of my TedTalks everybody.

[revenant-dumpster-fire]

Sore (Revenant x Reader)

Theme: Revenant comforts (in his weird way) and helps a reader who is tired and sore from a lot of strenuous work and activity, coming down from a manic high. Part of a series.

Warnings: Mentions of mania, threats of violence, bodily pain.

Reader Notes: Revenant (Apex Legends) x Reader, reader is non-gendered this chapter, this can be read in the context of romance or not.

Writing Notes: Reject leg damage, ascend to Octane. I guess this is a series because I have no chill.

Navigation:

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

"Ah, little skinsuit, you're back." Revenant seems genuinely surprised by your appearance in his doorway. You had wearily limped all the way back to his private room from the volunteer breakroom on other side of the Apex compound. He had, indeed, mentioned something about being willing to help you again previously, but just in case, you had an excuse for showing up.

"I brought you a water." You hold up a water bottle, your arm shaking from exhaustion. A lot of the Legends would have volunteers run water, drinks, and snacks to their rooms from the kitchen and cafeteria, so it was decent cover in case he didn't actually mean it before. After all, you were right at the start of a manic episode then and weren't thinking straight last time. I mean, you asked a killing machine for help, outright, with no thoughts of what that might lead to. But you lived! And he was oddly nice, despite your brazen request.

"When was the last time you slept?" there is something a bit off about his vocals. Genuine concern, perhaps? Or maybe you are imagining it. "You know I don't drink water, right? It's tasteless and I don't need it, so there's no point in me drinking it."

Your gut sinks. You never even considered that, but when you think about it, the only runs you ever made to his room were for various alcohols, usually hard liquors. You should have just brought something from his prior requests, but you were so confident in water as something everyone enjoyed...

"Sit down. You're not answering me quickly enough to be reassuring." He motions to a small bench in his room with cushions situated in front of the television, which was broadcasting some of the highlights from the last match. You want to walk over, but you're too busy rubbing your eyes at the moment trying to fight back the fatigue. The water bottle slips out of your hands as they rub into your eyes for a moment, and as you jolt to try to catch it, you feel the soreness in your legs lock them... causing you to fall on right your face.

"So... I take it that it's been a while." He seems bemused, but you are too tired to be bothered by it. You just lay there, face down for a moment, absolutely and utterly exhausted. The water bottle steadily and slowly rolls away from you and towards where Revenant is sitting: at a computer desk to the right of the room, pushed up against the far wall.

He audibly sighs, and you hear nothing for a moment. Then you feel a single, metallic arm scoop under your belly and hoist you up like cattle. You feel the weight of your torso balance against the weight of your legs, sufficiently winding you as your hang by your diaphragm on his forearm. You stare blankly at the floor, blurring from your weary vision. He carries you to the cushioned bench, and places you down on it surprisingly gently. The cushions help keep the bench from being wholly uncomfortable as you slowly find yourself splayed out on it. You stay limp, letting your limbs fall where they will. He's right. You haven't slept in a while.

"Sorry..." You utter as he sits next to your pretend corpse non-chalantly. He's hunched forward, forearms resting on his knees, looking over you with notable interest. Your last manic episode was only just beginning to wear off, and you managed to hurt both your legs running around at full speed during it. Even worse, the mania kept you from sleeping last night, only getting in an hour and a half at best, which is always somehow worse than not sleeping at all. You were already drifting to sleep as your thoughts wander.

"Hey." You wake back up with a jolt at the feeling of a cool hand coming to rest on your shoulder. "Seriously, what kind of ship are they running in this place? Why are you so desperate as to come to me for help--twice?"

You move to sit up, and his hand drifts away. You should apologize and leave with the water. That would be best, right?

"I'm sorry for the disturbance." You say as you hobble to your feet.

"Bit late for that. Also, those legs aren't going to hold you up for long, your muscles are already quivering like a violin string against a bow." You loosely see him point to your legs through your blurry vision. He is right. They hurt really badly. They had been given a moment of rest and they are screaming to be given a longer reprieve.

"Sit."

"I'm sorry, I'll just be--"

"SIT." His growling command is absolute. You collapse onto the bench with no further protests. Your legs are still sore, whimpering in pain, but much better now that they aren't supporting any weight. You sit upright, but you feel your posture faltering rapidly as you begin to drift towards sleep.

Revenant stands up off the bench while picking up the runaway water bottle in a single, sweeping motion.

"This is fairly cold, was it originally frozen?" He towers over you intimidatingly.

"Yes, most Legends like cold water, so we are constantly defrosting frozen bottles throughout the day." You answer blankly.

"Good. So where are the frozen bottles?"

"In the mess hall kitchen, walk-in freezer B, on the left." His questions give you just enough mental focus to break through the fuzz of exhaustion for a moment. "Would you like me to retrieve you a frozen one instead?"

"No, it's fine, I'll go." He starts to turn to leave, but you speak up.

"Actually, only volunteers and staff are supposed to enter the kitchen area--"

"I go wherever the hell I want." He turns back to shoot you a glare. "Now get up, and lie down in that bed." He points to the surprisingly large bed immediately behind the bench, perched at perfect viewing angle from the droning television. "I don't sleep. Haven't touched it. Won't touch it. You might as well use it."

"Wait, I can't just--"

"You don't have a choice anymore. Now go." He turns and slides out the door, letting the hatch close behind him, but not before giving you one last dirty look for questioning his request.

You consider that it is technically a part of your volunteer duties to do as the Legends ask. Sure, you are allowed to deny any obviously bad faith requests, but nobody said you had to deny them. Plus, Revenant is probably the most mysterious, concerningly foreboding, and terrifyingly powerful Legend in the Games. Nobody would blame you for doing as he asks the moment he asks it, especially when every word he speaks oozes with a threatening aura. Most volunteers wouldn't even come to his room. You were just happy to take all their requests and deliver them yourself to get to see him for a few moments. Sure, you had to trade away a couple Fuze requests and Wraith requests to prioritize him, but everyone seemed intimidated enough that they came to you to trade well before even considering just making the delivery. You were known as the only volunteer who actually liked delivering Revenant's many requests, even when some of them required going above and beyond the normal snack or drink runs.

You manage to hobble yourself onto both legs, which are once again screaming for relief from your weight. With a couple of well placed limps, you make it to the edge of the bed. He really hasn't touched it. Not a single wrinkle in the cloth. Nothing is out of place. Pillows are fully fluffed and without craters from a resting head. You hesitate to ruin it, but you know you must.

You crawl into it, collapsing only a few inches from the edge you started on. It's so soft. They really spared no expense for the Legends' beds, apparently. You remember them getting remodeled and finding the bench to be an odd choice over a nice couch, but you didn't know they were outfitted with beds made of clouds. You wonder, what does Revenant do all night if he doesn't sleep? How boring must that be? Does he charge his chassis? Does he shut down? You think about what it must be like to shut down. Shutting down must be nice. Peaceful. Just being able to rest. Similar to sleep. If only...

• • •

You suddenly regain awareness of your surroundings. How long were you out? Are you still in bed? Why is it so dark? You lift your head a little and tilt it towards a skylight window on the ceiling. Your back is newly sore, and your neck protests being bent. It's night now. You've been asleep for at least five hours for it to be this dark. You begin to scan the surroundings just to be startled by the hulking mass sitting on the bed next to you. His eyes glow dimly, locked on to yours.

"Feel any better?" His vocalizations are a bit more hushed than usual. He may not be sure if you're fully conscious yet. To be fair, you're not sure you're fully conscious either. You want to answer, but you're paralyzed like a deer, staring into his optic LEDs. After a moment of uncertain silence, he reaches out and touches your shoulder lightly, bringing your mind back in focus.

"I am so sorry, I didn't mean to--!"

"Shut it. You slept like a corpse. Probably one of least entertaining sleepers I've met." Wait, he watches people sleep? "Although, to be fair, you might be much more restless on a normal night. Maybe this is like one of those pilot episodes that is just not up to the quality of the rest of the series." You noticeably shudder and pull away as you sit up to face him. "See, more of that would be better." You hold the sheet in front of you defensively, not that it would stop anything larger than an insect. "Cute." He pulls the sheet from your hand and it falls back to the mattress.

You can't help but feel a bit bothered by his inquisitive stare, now knowing it's been collecting data for hours without your knowledge. You lean away as you think about it, continuing to shudder, deciding that perhaps this Legend is still planning to dissect you at some point after all.

He relishes in your fear for a moment, but then swiftly moves to get up and walk to the kitchenette. He opens the freezer, unleashing a powerful light into the room for a moment, before pulling out a bottle and closing the door, taking the light with it.

"What hurts?" He grabs a towel from atop the freezer, wrapping the frozen water bottle completely.

You stutter for a moment, and then get it out:

"I hurt my legs pretty badly yesterday, as well as my back, apparently." You had just woken up to it sore and aching, unfortunately meaning that all that box lifting had finally caught up with you. You reached behind yourself to try to massage it, but you felt a cool compress push up against it. When did he get behind you? He didn't even make a sound.

"A sore back is the worst." Why was he doing this? Has he really taken some kind of liking to you? "Even Rampart takes pity on me and readjusts my spinal plates when they get misaligned." He rolled the covered, frozen water bottle up and down your spine, helping with the pain a bit. "I haven't met a skinsuit or simulacrum who simply walks off a bad back."

You felt bad. He shouldn't be helping you. Why was he even bothering with you? What compelled him to do or say any of this?

"Hey, don't hunch forward like that, it'll get worse." You snap to attention.

"S-sorry!" You let slip out of your mouth as his spare claw wraps around your left shoulder and pull you back against the bottle and into the correct posture.

"Anyways, I was about to ask... Where do they get off working you to the bone like this?"

"It's actually my fault. I haven't stopped working since the third season, the more you work the more interaction with the Legends you get, I wanted to make sure I got the best positions and shifts." You pause. "I should have taken time off the moment I started to get fidgety. I should have known I would do something stupid and inappropriate..." You trail off, realizing you're speaking things out loud that are better kept in your internal monologue.

"Well, you're not dead so far, but you're really damn close to Death now." Your spine was starting to relax and decompress, finally. "So, if you're working that hard, that means you definitely are a huge fan of one of these skinsuits... so, who is it? Season 3 you said, right?" He paused as you started to turn flush without his notice. "Octane doesn't suit you, you're slow and clumsy. Although, perhaps that's something to aspire to. It couldn't be Crypto, he's unimaginably boring. Wattson, though, I have noticed she has a lot of fans..." He was simply mumbling on. It didn't really matter why you started anymore, you already had a new favorite. "So, which one? I'll add 'em to my list of high priority targets, just for you." He pauses, awaiting an answer.

"You..." You say, as softly as you can.

"Repeat that. Louder." Did he hear you?

"You." You say it just loud enough to know he heard it this time. "You were my favorite the moment you joined," you pause, deciding if you should confess this, "especially after that stunt you pulled on live TV." You hated Forge like all the other volunteers after word spread around about how he treated Bangalore. He may have put on a decent façade for the camera, but clearly was a predator behind the scenes. When an abuser is backed by big money like Hammond Robotics had, they could freely abuse anyone without consequences. Money tends to shut people up, despite the victims. Your gut told you all you needed to know about Forge the moment you first saw him. Thankfully, it was also the last time you saw him. Even though the just side of you knew that Forge deserved some kind of trial, the more primal part of you was happy to see him gone. The justice system would have been rigged in his favor anyway.

Revenant was silent as you pondered. Shock? Disgust? Or just nothing to say? He wasn't one to be speechless.

"Well, not sure what kind of a psychopath you are, but your wanton lack of self-preservation is my favorite thing about you." Was he offended at your answer? He sounded humored. You panic a little and start to pull away, but get pulled backwards--all the way into his enveloping grapple.

His entire frame practically swallows yours. You peer up just to catch a glimpse of his face staring down menacingly at you. You instinctively start to ball up defensively, but he snags one of your legs before you can tuck it away behind your arms. He's strong. Disturbingly strong. Even for a mechanical amalgamation, his grip is unfetterable. You couldn't free your leg, and you knew there was no way you could squirm out of it.

"This hurts too, you said?" The bottle was pressed to your calf, and he applied steady pressure to the muscle to relieve the nerves and cramping. Why was he doing this? Didn't he just make a thinly veiled threat to kill you? "You should consider giving me the other leg too. Unless you're afraid I'm not going to give this one back." He mocks you, but honestly you aren't sure he is truly joking about taking your leg or not. He could, if he wanted. He's huge, strong, and apparently he can make blades from his mechanical hands. You shudder a bit at the thought that those same lethal hands are currently prodding at your calf muscle... He is actually fairly adept at relieving pain, oddly enough. You feel the pressure ebb away the soreness as it reaches relief. You knew a little about simulacrums, enough to know they were once human. Did he hurt himself a lot back then? How else would he know how to do this?

"Hey, I'll trade you." He releases your one leg, it actually feels a lot better. Just a bit of pressure in the right areas really calmed it down. He motions for the other, but you cower for a moment too long. "Give me your damn leg." You immediately relinquish it, carefully pulling back the newly relieved leg into your defensive ball stance, per the trade agreement. He proceeds to perform the same relief on the other leg as well.

"You know, normally when I'm asked for help, I get to kill something." His gaze remains locked on your leg. "Instead, you just tempt me and expect me not to. Now why would you do that, little skinsuit?" You lock on to his eyes, but they never meet yours. "You've got a death wish, as far as I can tell. I'll confess, I like that about you." You keep perfectly still and silent, trying to stay as small as possible. "You're playing a risky game. Can't say I get to play these games often, so I'm going to make the most of it." He gently releases your leg, now feeling better and relaxed. You pull it into your ball, finally completing the pathetic stance. His giant, clawed hand comes down to pet you on the head a little roughly. He could crush your whole skull, if he wanted. That is the primary message, laced with the subtle message that he won't do that, yet. A chill runs up your spine.

"Alright, I've made my decision." He's out of bed, taking the thawing bottle and towel back to the kitchenette.

"W-What?" You are very uncertain.

"It's fine, I'll have it taken care of. Now sleep. You haven't slept enough." Your spine curls a bit at the prospect of sleeping in the presence of this guy again. You start to get up to leave, but it's slow moving since you're still a bit iffy on your legs.

"It's okay, I have a bunk in the volunteer space I should get back to..." You trail off, meeting his gaze and causing you to freeze right before standing up. His yellow eyes seem brighter and more visceral than before, locking you into a stare down. You blink immediately, that's not a fight worth attempting. "...why?" You can't tell if you're pleading or hoping for a genuine answer. He turns away to look back into the blinding light of the open freezer for a moment.

"Go, if you want, but I'm only giving you five seconds." He doesn't turn to look at you, he just starts counting. "Five..." Should you go? "Four..." Would he come after you? "Three..." You don't want to go, actually. "Two..." You want to see where this goes. "One..." What else do you have to do, anyway? "Zero."

Revenant turns to meet your gaze, his eyes noticeably widening and dimming in the dark when he sees you still there. He probably knew you didn't move, after all he would have heard it, but he still seemed happy to see you there anyway.

"Now, sleep. I'll take care of the rest." You felt a bit uneasy, but you laid back down, uncurling yourself and trying to make yourself comfortable. Revenant didn't linger over you on the bed this time, instead he must have gone from the kitchenette over to the computer desk, because you slowly dozed off to the sounds of the keyboard feedback chirps and pointer clicks as he worked with the heads-up displays. You were more tired than you thought, and dozed off quickly.

• • • •

"... Hah! I knew the pilot episode wasn't a good indicator of quality." You woke up to him looming over you in the bed again, but this time you were not taken by surprise. "You twitch a lot while you sleep; you even murmur absolute nonsense." You sigh. This is fun for him somehow. "I swear you were trying to run or swim at one point... Did you get away? Or did you drown?" You don't know how to answer his questions, you don't remember any dreams. In fact, he probably has more of an idea than you do at this point. You meet his gaze, and it seems to be understood that you have no answers. He sighs, clearly disappointed.

"Shame, well, in the meantime, congratulations on your promotion."

"Wait, what?"

"Here, welcome to the team." He drops a red laminated badge on top of you, and swiftly makes his way out of the bed, just to crawl up the wall, onto the ceiling, and starts to exit through the skylight window. "Sorry I can't spend more time with you, but I have a match today." His voice is nearly drowned out by the sound of aircraft starting up. "Watch for me, I'll make sure I knock out whichever one of those skinsuits used to be your favorite early on." You can hear the sneer in his voice through the overwhelming aircraft engines.

He disappears from view, the window closes, the aircraft noise dampens again, and the television drones on with the pre-match banter between announcers in front of you. You stare up at the morning sky for a moment, wondering what you got yourself into.

You look down at the badge. It is a top clearance badge, meant for direct employees of the Legends. It can get you access to almost anywhere and to almost anything. It has Revenant's personal seal on it, marking you as his. It has all the correct watermarks, and a scannable chip to prove authenticity. You've only seen a few of these, and you heard Mirage once got in huge trouble for selling his as a VIP experience. But it did nearly sell, and it was already bidding for enough money for any sane person to retire off of.

You aren't a volunteer anymore. You're Revenant's subordinate. Notably an important enough one that you can go almost anywhere he can go. The badge shimmers in your hands, sparkling in your eyes. This badge is worth more than anything you've ever held before in your life. You revel in it for a moment, until you notice it: You're now "Little Skinsuit" according to the "Name" field on the badge. He genuinely couldn't resist, could he? You'd be bothered if it wasn't genuinely hilarious. That means somewhere in the security checkpoints, "Little Skinsuit" was now registered at nearly maximum clearance. Amazing.

You sit there for a moment, pondering how you got yourself into this. You had a moment, just a single moment a few days ago, where you felt like you could ask him for help. You just wanted to calm down; you had tripped, bruised your feet, hurt your calves, and even busted a couple bottles of liquor and whisky meant for him because of your manic movements as you ran back and fourth from one side of the complex to the other. Finally, after getting him everything he requested, intact, you lost your inhibition for a mere moment. You asked if he'd help you settle your mania. And for some reason--maybe he had already started to get some kind of drunk at that point--he said yes. That's what started it all.

He said something about helping you again before you left last time. And then you came back yesterday, completely in the fog from no sleep and a continued manic episode, but holding on to that promise. And now you've somehow become his personal errand runner, holding an ID worth more than you could grasp. What the heck is happening anymore?

For now, you stare into the sky, and soak in the sun, and just relax in the moment. You get to watch today's match instead of scrubbing the floors. It'll be a nice day.