#it was too messy too rushed too much in general and just not it

[letstrywritingmaybe]

I don’t believe in deleting fics, cause I know how it feels when I go back and look for a specific fic by a beloved author to find that it’s gone. But man some times I think about rewriting and changing my old works, cause I like to think I got a little better at this writing thing. Specifically the memory loss fic, that one haunts me all the time, I had no idea what I was doing it was more let’s just finally finish this so I don’t have to worry about it anymore (and here I am still worrying about it). Look I know it’s over done, but there’s just so many things you could do with losing your memory (and how devastating it was but I’m a fluff lover so we don’t do that here… although… just had a sad idea that will not help my case in not being a Ran hater *sigh I hate the canon ship not her okay) It’s probably why I was so fixated on Lo Lo Love Me, and a counter part that I may never write. Point is, I think about writing/fixing the memory loss fic, but make it Shiho this time, but only because I hate seeing my queen suffer. I always say I hate angst, and I do, but thinking about how alone Shinichi was despite growing up in far better conditions than Shiho to now being alone again cause the only other person who knew all about his time as Conan and experienced it with him forgets it all? You can only repress yourself for so long, losing your partner, losing a part of yourself changes a person.

[shittopi]

[n0tamused]

Jiyaaaan request coming your way~

While training his soldiers, one of them accidentally calls him 'Dad'. This leads to the reader teasing them but Jiyan teases back by calling them 'Mom' (or the gender neutral for it?)

(Was reading tv tropes and Jiyan had the 'A Father to his Men' tropes in his character tab lol)

A/n: Anon this request was so sweet, thank you sm for sending it in! Jiyan the father of an army fr.. I do hope I executed it well. Enjoy!

Content: Jiyan x F!Reader, fluff and playful stuff, nothing more

The morning sun had long since shifted its axis towards the center of the sky, blazing down through cotton clouds that sailed the azure skies. Below them, in the open fields, west of the main base cacophony sounded, consisting of commands, groans and other sounds of effort as the Midnight Ranger performed their training. And today Jiyan had come to overlook the session himself, although it wouldn’t be the first time. He was often so preoccupied with tasks at the front lines that he didn’t have the time to be leading drills too frequently, but when he did get the chance to do so he would take it. While it wasn’t a full reprieve from the battle, it was still a stark contrast to the grotesque and twisted fates he’d see daily on the battlefield.

Jiyan was noticeably more disheveled by the end, hair messy and hanging in strands and clinging to his sweaty forehead, hands on his hips as his voice rose to meet all ears present. You have just been passing by, helping carry supplies that just came in, and loading old and empty boxes back to be refilled in the city. For once there was no rush that would make your legs ache or your lungs hurt, allowing you all the precious time to bask in the views, the soft chatter and, of course, your dear lover.

The sun caught his figure and formed a golden aura around him, his skin glistening, and you couldn’t help but take a seat at one of many big boxes at the side of the training grounds after you had finished your task. In passing you caught a few looks, and a few smiles of the soldiers you knew from before. They looked much  more lively, despite the rigorous training they just went through. It made your heart warm seeing them in better spirits, wishing nothing more than to see them prevail and be happy. And just as you had recognized a bunch of familiar faces did Jiyan conclude his small speech, about to dismiss everyone with advice of rest hanging on every word. He had spotted you from the start, when you were going by with supplies in arms and soon he’d have a chance to speak to you too, he thought.

“General Jiyan! General Jiyan, a word or two- if I may?” 

It was a voice of one of the new recruits, Jiyan noted as he gazed at the face of the youth, a boy of twenty or so years by the looks of it, and eyes full of curiosity and admiration. He had come up to Jiyan just as he had turned towards you, prompting him to stay rooted in his spot a little longer. A few more young rangers came up behind the recruit, sharing the same curiosity but also being aware of whatever the recruit had on his mind.

“Yes? Is there something you need?” Jiyan questioned, looking at the young man. From his peripheral vision he spotted you moving down from the boxes and joining his side, staying quiet after a short word of greeting towards his Rangers, but your presence felt like a cool breeze under this sun, and he appreciated it all the more.

“I just wanted to say how great today’s training session was, we learned so much more than we did with our drill sergeant” he praised, smiling up at Jiyan all the while, “And I just wanted to ask whether or not you’ll be leading our training session tomorrow as well? Or any other day that is, we would really benefit from your teaching. I mean, you've seen it all for yourself at the front lines!"

The other few with him nodded along, prompting a small smile of pride to form on your face from seeing their fascination with Jiyan. To them he was everything they aspired to be - strong, enduring, tough but not lacking kindness or knowledge. There were times where they were scared to approach him, not knowing how he’d react to their questions, but from observing his interactions with others they warmed up to the idea and plucked all their courage. 

A polite smile curled up on Jiyan’s face as he regarded the youth with gentle golden eyes. His presence as the drill sergeant today wasn’t due to his availability, but a simple coincidence and necessity to fill the shoes of their drill sergeant that had been injured due to Tacet Discords, and Jiyan just happened to be able to be there. “Ah, you have my thanks, rangers. If a replacement for your drill sergeant does not arrive tomorrow and I am not required to be at the front lines, then I will be leading your training tomorrow as well” he told them, which pleased them greatly to hear.  “Although I’m sure Sargent Jin’xi has much more to teach you, something much more important for your sound development in this profession. You cannot take his method lightly. He has seen everything I have, as well. His knowledge is as valuable to your growth, and even more so than mine. You need the good foundation he can give you” He was aware of how confusing or hard it could be to listen to Jin’xi, as the sergeant had quite the eye for details and slow progress in lessons due to his meticulous nature - but that also made him all the better for his station. He was observant and could pluck out bad behavior and mistakes like weeds, and that is better to be done here, than in the middle of battle.

“We know, general, but sergeant Jin’xi is just so hard on us.. sometimes it really seems like he has no limit” one of the women standing behind voiced, earning a look from Jiyan that spoke of his understanding but also his disagreement with the subtle message they were trying to send - please, replace sergeant Jin’xi, or, save us.

“Yeah! One time I accidentally mixed up the weapons in the storage room and he had me do everything on my own again, saying how such mistakes can’t happen on the front lines, how it all means life or death” the first young man said, brushing his fingers through his hair and sighing. “I understand it, but we just got here..” he added and looked at his comrades. 

What was supposed to be a short chit-chat turned swiftly into a gossip galore about Jin’xi. Had Jiyan been any different from the man he was currently, he would’ve scolded them, taken offense at how they spoke about his colleague, but he was in their shoes once, always on edge around the higher ups, and he wished not to bring that same unease to them. He didn’t fail to remind them to not speak like this in front of everyone, and to respect sergeant Jin’xi when he does eventually return, and they gave him their word.

The first young man that approached looked at Jiyan after their discussion, both hands on his hips and looking more relaxed. “We won’t forget that, I promise on my last name! Still, we appreciate your kindness, and one more thing dad- I MEAN- GENERAL!” His entire face crumbled into a look of terror, and all eyes of the group shot to him, looks of surprise and amusement appearing before several of them erupted into laughter after taking a wary glance at Jiyan - who was not offended.

“General Jiyan! Oh god- I apologize, general, I don’t know where that came from-” he stammered, shaking his head and his hands, face flushed from sheer embarrassment. More choked words tumbled out of his mouth, desperate to excuse himself and forget about this. 

Jiyan can’t help but chuckle, the corners of his lips twitching in a failed attempt to hold back his smile. “At ease, recruit. You have not done any crime” he nods at the other, his eyes softening and not showing any sign that he’s about to dish out some punishment - that’d be ridiculous. 

You can’t help but crack a laugh too, covering your lips with your hand as to stifle the sound, but your mirth was evident in your eyes. “Have I missed a chapter? I didn’t know you had kids, general Jiyan” you teased, earning a few shocked but heavily amused looks from the group. Giggles erupted once more, all stifled as they waited for Jiyan to respond to the quip.

Jiyan turns his head to look at you, his eyes boring into yours and questioning your intentions - you can read the thoughts going through your head and your smile only widens in a silent call to a challenge of wits. He didn’t expect you to say something like that, but he could only huff, hiding his amusement under an abrupt guise of confusion.

“Kids?.. Why, I had hoped you’d recognize your own kids, Miss (L/N)” he shot back instantly, making your jaw drop at his rebuttal, a gasp flying past your mouth. “General” you said, accusations plenty heard in your tone as the atmosphere melted into one of jest and play.

Many eyes flickered between you and him, taking in the easy way you conversed with one another.

“Yes? What’s the surprise for? The recruits look up to you too, if you fail to notice. You can confirm with them right now” he is shifting the spotlight to you, and the recruits are quick to jump in too. “It is right, miss. Personally I haven’t been around you for long, no longer than I interacted with the General, but you two are alike, you treat us new ones with a firm but kind hand” a young woman said, smiling at you, and you feel your heart climb into your throat. 

“Can we really be surprised, they’re always together too-” "Aren't they married?" Whispering is heard amidst the group, and Jiyan looks amidst the faces to catch the one that said that but fails to do so, or refuses to weed out the individuals, and his eyes go back to you to catch your response. It’d be a lie to say your relationship with him was a secret, everyone knew there was something deeper between the two of you, something you didn’t show in public due to the war and status, but it was undeniably there. Still, hearing it loud and clear like this was like a splash of cold water. Despite their chatter, the group remained respectful, sweet in their musings.

“Ah, quiet, I do not want to hear it. This is about you, General”

“Ah, don’t run from it now. You’re the one that started this” he commented, rolling his eyes as he folded his arms over his chest. “Anyway, you’re all dismissed. I have a word with.. mother over here. Off you all go. I will see you all in the morning for another training drill. Get some rest” he speaks to the group, gazing upon their faces, only to see how they looked at him with some sort of childhood wonder, and that’s when he realized he must be flushed too. A sheepish smile bloomed on his face. 

“Alright! Awesome-” “Yes, sir!"

“Have a good day, General! And you too, Miss!” 

He watched them leave, bidding them all farewell, and when he turned to face you again he saw you pinching the bridge of your nose, hiding away the biggest smile of the day, the apples of your cheeks redder than before. The Midnight Rangers were undeniably close in connection, having spent so many nights and days huddled together for warmth or laughs or protection, and this small exchange only warmed Jiyan’s heart, to witness how positively they felt around him - and you. 

“Didn’t think we’d become parents so soon. Have we gotten that old already?” Jiyan commented, tone softer in a way he only addressed you when you were alone, and there was no one near the training grounds to hear you.

“Oh, shut up, Jiyan-” you playfully snapped, biting your lip as you looked up at him, stifling a giggle. “You are unbelievable!”

“Hm? Did you expect me to stay quiet today or ignore your quips?” he smiled bigger and you have to admire the little dimples in his cheeks as the smile reaches his eyes, making them squint at you softly.

“I don’t know what I expected, but your response was certainly the last thing I expected” you replied and shook your head, as if that would shake off the redness tinting your skin, imitating him now by crossing your arms. The two of you were looking at each other, wordlessly admiring your red faces while throwing these little quips at one another. 

“Ah.. you’ll get used to it, dearest wife”

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[xo-cod]

141 + reader

hc's when you five share the barracks together/just in general <3 (ooc, rushed my bad lmao, can be read platonically/romantically, reader is v close to them!!) kinda long oops 😩 might do a part 2 idk

nsfw version 🩷

there's a whole lot of testosterone and musk in the air when you're sharing living spaces with 4 men ‼️

all four men compete with each other to get your attention, even if it's unknowingly

whole lotta pouting when you're spending time with more man than the other, you're a great companion ;) and the army is lonely. they all need equal love and attention

speaking of, if you're smelling like one of them the other will immediately bundle you in his arms to put his scent on you instead and to cancel out the other (alpha behaviour 😵‍💫)

whole lotta flirting from each of them. they're all very intelligent soldiers, they know exactly what to say to get you going 😙

all of them adore the height difference with you. you get teased about it relentlessly (out of love obvi)

i don't think they're particularly messy men but ghost and gaz are the most cleanest, they like having their things in order and knowing where everything is

price is next because he's slumped with being captain so you'll see a lot of his paperwork around with coffee mugs from pulling all nighters

soap is more organised mess. it might look messy to you but he knows exactly where everything is

you, soap and gaz definitely have rap battles late at night. it starts of quiet but you'll usually hear price shouting at you three from his bedroom to stfu. ghost threatens to pull a grenade if you don't be quiet

assuming you're naturally a good cook, they'd all be so appreciative :") especially on bad days, your cooking reminds each of them of home (or lack of)

face masks! gaz would 100% be down to do them with you, soap would follow next because if gaz is doing it then he too???

ghost would roll his eyes, continuing polishing his guns with a rag "you ain't putting that muck on my face"

price would just look at you, shaking his head "got too much to do, sweetness"

but you're quite the convincer and all four men are on the floor of your bedroom, gossiping about the last mission with their preferred colour of face mask across their faces

assuming you're the only woman, they get very protective when you're hurt. soldiers get hurt from time to time but its different when it's you

"you alright, bonnie?" soap's gentle voice comes through your room as he hands you a warm mug of your fave drink

gaz had you wrapped in a big fluffy blanket, gently stroking your back

"who was it?" ghost's voice is firm, wanting to know who dared injured the youngest member of their team

"already got a handle on 'em" price follows, looking at the computer. whatever enemy dared to raise their hands on wished they'd be six feet under after all four men are done with them

you're the one each man needs when they're having a particularly bad day which are usually far in few between but sometimes it happens

gaz and soap are the types to seek you out, their faces settled in a troubled frown before they place their arms around you. no questions just yet, they just want to feel skin to skin for now. keeping them grounded before they can explain what happened. they're not looking for a fixer, just someone who'll listen

ghost and price are the type to isolate themselves for a while until it's night and then you'll find them gently knocking on your bedroom door and slipping inside, between your covers. their grip is strong, burying their faces deep into your neck whilst trying to wrap his arms as much as he can. these two won't talk much either, just looking to be held and stroked to calm down

ghost and soap are the type to show affection through lingering touches while gaz and price show affections through their words.

but speaking of hugs, each of them have their own special way they like to embrace

ghost thinks he's being slick but you realise just how touchstarved he really is, he gives hugs with his arms around your shoulders bringing you in to his chest. mostly because he's tall and broad but he likes how he can manhandle you from this position and smelling your scent <3

soap's the type to tackle you in a playful hug, maybe a spin to get a laugh out of you before he gently strokes your skin for a few seconds, a gentle kiss to your temple <3

price likes to hug from behind, resting his chin on your head while he looks at what you're doing. depending on you, his big arms are either wrapped on your waist or your shoulders <3

gaz gives side hugs because he likes linking his arm around your hips and he likes how you fit snugly into his body. and this way he can lean his head against yours and can bring you in closer with his other arm <3

all four can immediately smell you before you come in because they adore whatever perfume/spray you have

each of them would absolutely melt into pieces if you joined them/kept them company in what they were doing

and if they catch you in a towel after having a shower, best believe they're quickly walking back around to where they came from to help alleviate the growing... tent in their pants

lowkey kinda pervy 🫣 (never in a harmful way)

each of them have their strong points and would 100% train you in becoming stronger

even if you're a well established soldier, they all worry for your safety

price would teach you sniper techniques, ghost teaches you combat, gaz teaches you how to sharpen your aim and soap teaches you about explosives and how to construct/dismantle each of them

they take the training very seriously with you

a ton of cursing when their fave team loses lmaoo

if you're avid tea drinker, join the gaz/ghost/price club. if you're not, join the hater club with soap <3

ghost/gaz/soap will playfully fight with you, careful not to use their full strength and not to harm you. but it's so cute to them when you're struggling a little under them.

but when price scolds them in doing so, "i'm just helping in case there's an attack!"

if you're arguing against one of them, another will come to your defence. unless you're arguing all four then it's the silent treatment from you 🤭

all four of them melt when you call them by their real name instead of their callsign :")

ghost usually comes to you when his balaclava is broken and he'll keep you company as your fingers work their magic to the fabric, gently leaning against you as you speak to him

price will let you shape up his beard after you begging to do so and he grows to enjoy those tender moments

soap definitely calls for your help to shape up his mohawk, he trusts your hand to eye coordination above anyone elses

ghost will playfully ruffle your hair whenever you both pass each other

price gives you a gentle squeeze on the shoulder

gaz gives you a soft stroke on your arm or back whenever he's passing by

soap will gently tap his head against yours, not too hard to cause pain but just enough to know that he's there

but above all, the barracks you five share is definitely a safe space for each of them the second they come through the door <333

[c00kieguy]

Mornings are sometimes OK

relationships: Feixiao x GN!Reader summary: Feixiao’s morning routine but she’s dating you and you are oh so sleepy.  cw: none, just fluff, reader is called cute once wc: 1k a/n: Last Feixiao thing if I don’t get her today btw. So if you want me to keep writing for her send me your prayers please and thank you 🙏 /s

masterlist

7:00

You groan in your sleep as the annoying continuous beeps of the alarm clock ring through the room. The sharp noise pierces your mind in an uncomfortable way you did not feel like experiencing at the moment. Thankfully the noise stops as Feixiao slaps the clock away.

“Morning.” she utters groggily as she turns to face you. In your drowsy state you barely manage to reply as you feel Feixiao’s lips on your cheek.

Oh.

You smile to yourself, morning kisses were always your favorite, but just as you attempt to reciprocate she’s off. In a split second she’s up and opening the curtains to let in the gentle morning sunlight. You sigh to yourself as the soft rays hit your face, you’ll get her later.

But you still miss her presence. Clumsily you reach for her pillow to use it as a substitute and hopefully get a few more hours of sleep in. Just because Feixiao had to wake up this early didn’t mean you had to as well. Holding the pillow close you get yourself comfortable again, the soft thuds of Feixiao’s footsteps as she uses the treadmill working as good background noise to lull you back into sleep. The way she managed to brush her teeth and change into her workout clothes in such a short time was something you were used to now.

8:30

You swore you had only been sleeping for a few seconds before you were awoken once more by Feixiao. “Morning sleepy head.” she says, but despite her teasing tone she places a small peck on your forehead. You really wished you had more energy to respond to her but in your tired state you only mutter a small ‘morning’ which draws a chuckle out of the general. “Breakfast?” squinting at her through blurry eyes you do your best to sound coherent.

“Mhmm whatever you’re having…” you mumble. As soon as the words leave your lips she’s out the door, you can’t help but wonder where she gets all her energy from. If you had even a fraction of that much enthusiasm in your daily life you were sure you’d be somewhere else entirely right now.

Letting out a yawn you snuggle back into the comfort of your bed, just a few more minutes won’t hurt right?

Too bad. The door bursts open in what seems like mere minutes later as Feixiao rushes to you. You almost feel like you were seeing two of her with just how fast she was. Gentle hands brush your messy hair away from your face and you get yet another peck on the cheek “Food’s in the hot box.” Already? you think to yourself as she zooms away again. Well now you have no choice but to wake up soon. Your wonderful girlfriend went through the trouble of making you breakfast, what kind of partner would you be if you let it get cold?

Despite your guilt you decide to sleep a few more minutes anyway. Who could blame you? Whatever it is that this bed was made of made it incredibly hard to get out of it. You place your hopes in the hot box and once again feel yourself drift off the sleep.

10:00

To your dismay the alarm goes off once more, but luckily at this point you were mostly awake having slept an extra two hours or so. Begrudgingly you switch off the alarm and wonder how it hasn’t broken yet despite being knocked to the ground every morning by Feixiao. Suddenly you hear the roaring sound of a hair dryer, yea you’re definitely awake now…Reluctantly you prop yourself up on your elbows just as Feixiao rushes to check the clock. 

“Still got time” she says under her breath. You can’t help but let out a large yawn watching her get ready, you truly were not feeling it today (or any day if you had to be honest). You don’t even notice when Feixiao stands in front of you, but you do notice the warmth on your nose as she kisses it. “Time to wake up.” 

You let out yet another yawn “Morning…” you whispered to no one in particular as Feixiao had already rushed off to change. It only takes her a split second to get into her formal clothes before she starts running around the room cleaning up things. Meanwhile the greatest thing you managed to achieve today was sitting up on the bed.

“I’ll be home by midnight, you can eat out if you want.” She states. For once today, Feixiao stops to take in everything, and by everything she meant mostly you. There was something really comforting seeing you in this state, drowsy and barely able to hold your head up, hair and clothes an absolute mess, and eyes you could barely keep open. You looked so cute she was almost tempted enough to stay back today, and she really would’ve if it wasn’t for the meeting. 

Feixiao can’t help the small smile that makes its way to her face. She sighs to herself, oh how she couldn’t wait to come back home to you. Taking slow steps she makes her way to your side as you stare up at her in confusion. Wasn’t she running late?

Just then she places your hand under your chin to make you face her and gently places her lips on your own.

Oh.

You lean into the chaste kiss, almost wanting to reach out and hold her closer but you let it be. Some things are best enjoyed as is.

Eventually she pulls away leaving you a little flushed. “Love you.” She whispers, as if the words were reserved for only you.

“Love you too.” you barely manage to get your words out before she zooms out the door and you can’t help but chuckle, only Feixiao.

However, seeing as your early bird girlfriend was off, you felt yourself being more and more tempted by the bed, a short nap should be ok right? You ask yourself, knowing full well the ‘short nap’ would end up as a very long sleep. But since Feixiao would be out the whole day you really saw no harm in sleeping in and having your breakfast for lunch instead. 

Unfortunately for you, your tactics were all too predictable. Just as your head rests on your pillow the door is practically knocked down by Feixiao saying “Don’t you dare.”, the sudden noise nearly knocking you off the bed.

Needless to say you had a very productive morning, against your will.

masterlist

© c00kieguy ➼ do not repost/copy/translate (without my permission) or claim any of my works as your own. Reblogs are appreciated ❣

[absfawn]

౨ৎ tender and careful abby who takes care of you to the best of her capabilities when she wakes up one day to find you with hair sticking to your sweaty forehead, constantly sniffling and wiping your nose with an endless stream of tissues, looking at her on the verge of bursting into tears. she knows you hate getting sick. knows that you feel completely useless when you get in that much pain, you can’t move. it takes her over 30 minutes to even get out of bed, each time, when you fall ill. clinging onto her arm, weakly mumbling not to leave into her shoulder, and while she doesn’t want to, she has to, to be able to get everything you need. always leaning down and kissing your forehead, leaving her lips resting against your skin for a couple more seconds, frowning at the obvious rise in temperature on your forehead, blatantly ignoring your whines about her needing to stay away from you for a few days until you get better. simply getting out of bed with a grumbled “you being sick won’t stop me kissing you, now, shut up and wait here” knowing damn well you can’t exactly get up. 

౨ৎ tender and careful abby who spends almost a full hour in the kitchen making you some honey tea and soup, soup that she knows you don’t normally eat when you’re not sick, but will eat gracefully when you are. her body moves quickly as she reaches over the counter and grabs one of the lap trays she bought for you the last time you had gotten sick, and carefully places the bowl of hot soup with the tea gently, not scolding herself in the process. something she does quite a lot. eyeing up the candy drawer, abby looked back over at the bedroom door, back to the drawer, and dropped her head between her shoulders slightly. it wasn’t that you weren’t allowed chocolate, you were and abby knew that. but it always made her feel worse because when you got colds, or sick in general, you couldn’t taste the food, and sweet treats like you could, but regardless, your girlfriend shrugged, opened the drawer and snatched a few bars of chocolate, and a bag of candy before placing them on the tray too. 

you were still slumped under the covers and blankets when abby appeared in the bedroom. finally. the messy bun she let you do last night, won’t admit she loved it, but you know, now even more messy. strands of hair stuck to her now sweaty forehead, this is what rushing around to make sure her girl has everything does to her.

wiggling her eyebrows at you when she makes her way to the side of the bed, places the tray on the nightstand, and carefully places the back of her hand on your forehead, pulling it away instantly when she feels just how high your temperature has gone up since she left. “s’not good baby, we need to bring it down, yeah?” she mumbled, handing you the mug of tea carefully. “drink that, then eat your soup. i brought you some chocolate, and before you say anything, yes i know you can’t taste it when you’re sick, but it’s there in case” abby trailed off, waving her hands everywhere while you simply giggled behind the mug of honey tea.

“thank you, abs. always taking care of me” you whispered, almost like a secret between you both.

“it’s my job, yeah? and you always take care of me when i get sick. we take care of each other.” the blonde smiled, holding out yet another item towards you.

a damp washcloth.

“what’s this for?” you grumbled, looking at the wet cloth like it personally offended you. taking it from her hands carefully, placing it on your forehead nonetheless, and sniffling quietly.

“for your temperature, you’re too hot” abby laughed like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“you told me that 3 days ago” 

“well, you’re hotter today because you’re sick”

“so you’re telling me i’m not hot when i’m not sick?”

“baby, love of my life,” abby paused to laugh again and shake her head at you. “you are always hot”

“even now?”

“yes, even now. very hot, especially with your blocked nose and wheezy coughs. s’cute when you suddenly sound like a cute duck” your girlfriend winked, disappearing into the bathroom before you could blink. 

quickly gasping in realization at her choice of words.

“abigail anderson, you did not just refer to my coughing as a duck!” 

“i love you!” she laughed from the bathroom.

“yeah, yeah. i love you too” you couldn’t help but smile.

tender and careful abby always being there to take care of you.

[seungisms]

🖇️📁 𝐒𝐊𝐙 ... 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐗

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut, do not interact if you’re under 18

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex, phone sex, fingering, oral (male and female receiving), masturbation, overstimulation, edging, praise, body worship, dry humping, degradation 

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this is absolute dog but i just can’t stop thinking about how hot chan and minho would sound like so please forgive 😭 reblog for a kiss, feedback is much appreciated!

𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍

extremely vocal, especially when it comes to praise

constantly tells you how pretty you look when you’re taking his cock so well <3

generally very soft and sweet during sex

can get really messy with it when he’s about to cum though 

will sloppily groan into your cunt once your fingers tangle and tug on his hair, his own keeping your pretty folds spread open nice and stretched for him to fuck his tongue into - his other hand fisting around his dick and everything is just so filthy 

he’s letting out the most vile moans while kissing your pussy, cum and spit dripping from his chin and every sound he lets out against you drumming against your folds and just edging you further and further towards orgasm

sometimes he wishes you could see how cock dumb you look in these moments :(

will always remind you how well you’re doing for him no matter how rough he goes with you, especially once he catches sight of those cute tears welling up in your eyes 

let’s out a small tut and catches them on the pad of his thumb ever so softly, cock still fucking deep into and you almost wanna curse him out for being so soft with you while his dick is busy ruining your cunt

sometimes buries his head into your neck to muffle his own groans, wanting to hear how good he’s making you feel instead

his words come out extremely rushed and slurred when he’s about to cum

wants nothing more than to soak up your little whimpers and gasps and the cute little twitch in your face when you’re about to spill but he’s soso pussy drunk rn so don’t be surprised that he can’t stfu 

“doing so well for me sweetheart, just hold on a little longer.”

“god you’re so pretty, wanna fill you up so bad.” 

^ a personal fav of his!! he just loves how pretty you look when his cum is dripping past your folds and onto the sheets

the sight of his cum staining your skin really gets him going, you can’t change my mind

also loves the slight look of humiliation that takes over your face when you catch sight of it, crossing your legs in embarrassment but he’ll always be there remind you who you belong to :(

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐇𝐎

extremely mean with his words

especially when you’re sucking on his cock so prettily, he can’t help but get a little carried away and spew absolute filth into your ears

will tangle his hand in your hair, fucking his hips forward to force himself further down your throat and will literally laugh straight in your face once he hears you gagging around him

“aw, is it too much for you baby? i know you can handle it, you’re practically begging for it.”

“c’mon sweetheart, i know you just can’t wait to be filled with my cum so take it.”

has such a bite to his words but you can’t even find it in yourself to be mad at him when he’s fucking your mouth so well and good

let’s out the deepest grunts when he feels himself at the back of your throat and will only urge you to take him even deeper

even when you claim you can’t

actually kinda thrives when you try to resist and dig your pretty nails into his thighs, the sting making him hiss out and he’ll have no problem pulling you off his cock just to hold your jaw open and make you swallow his spit   

cause ‘that’s the only thing little bitches like you deserve’ pls he’ll be so salty

gets r e a l l y loud when he’s about to cum 

grunts, groans, curses and tugs on your hair until there’s tears stinging your eyes 

sometimes when he’s feeling a tad nice he’ll feed you some praise 

but he’ll have to be soso pussy drunk to do so cause he really just loves to treat you like the slut you are

“take it like a good girl.”

the closet thing to praise you’ll get out of this man istg

likes having phone sex with you whenever he’s on tour cause he’s able to get you off with just his voice alone and he gets such a kick out of it

fists his cock once your whines hit his ear, coming out all strangled and choked as you fuck your finger sloppily past your folds - only half listening as he talks you through your orgasm 

“tell me how much you miss me and my cock baby, tell me how you wish i was there to stretch you out real good like you deserve.”

knows how much of an effect his voice has over you and just runs with it istg 

𝐒𝐄𝐎 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐁𝐈𝐍

whiney

when’s he’s domming you he won’t be very vocal though 

maybe a tad demanding but that’s about it

literally just manhandles you and let’s out the occasional grunt against your flushed skin when his cock hits that spongy spot deep within your pussy - refusing to give into your begs and telling you to ‘take what he gives you’ 🤒

whenever he’s subbing you it’s a different story

he’ll be soso needy and it’ll show in his voice

can get really impatient when you tease him, rubbing your naked folds over the length of his hard cock just to push his buttons

and all he wants to do is force your hips down and finally take him until your pretty pussy is on the brink of being completely ruined

can be kinda bratty at the start, looking up at you with big eyes while his hands grab at your hips - silently begging you to finally sink down onto him and all he can do is pout once you continue to refuse 

“c’mon baby, haven’t i been good for you? think i deserve to feel you around me by now.” 

gets more desperate the longer you hold out 

“p-please, i need you so bad sweetheart. don’t y-you need me too?”

and you wanna give in so bad and finally feel his thick cock pounding into you but the sound of him stumbling over his words so cutely and his whines only getting louder with each passing second you continue to tease him only made it more fun 

the poor guy can’t take his eyes off your pussy so you eventually give in cause he’s just so pretty

throws his head back in the most <3 way

lips all bruised and loved on and the cutest whines breaking ripping past his throat as his hips fuck sloppily up into you, cock withdrawing fully only to fill you to hilt with every rut of his hips 

sometimes gets clumsy with it and misses your hole every now and again with how eager he is to finally cum 

and you just think he’s so adorable when he gets so embarrassed over it

tries maintain his whole ‘badboy’ reputation he has going for him but as soon as he gets the slightest bit of pussy withdrawals he’s turning into the whiniest mess ever :( 

𝐇𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐍

on the more silent side when he’s wrecking your cunt 

kinda just wants to soak up all your cute begs and little gasps so he’ll hold himself back a lot

and we all know how much this guy loves to hear himself talk so it’ll be a challenge for him 😔✊

loves playing with you so much and works you up until you’re all hazy eyed and on the brink of tears

swears it’s his fav look on you 

could practically eat up those little cries and sobs you let slip when he’s toying with your aching pussy, fingers rubbing at your swollen nub and cooing down at you so mockingly as you try to cover your glassy eyes from him

if you even try to quieten yourself down he’ll do anything to make you break

will be messily eating away at your sensitive cunt, humming lowly into your heat once your sweet taste hit his tongue

all disheveled hair and glaring eyes gazing up at your from between your thighs, savouring every stutter and twitch in your face

as soon as he sees your hand itching towards your face, clamping itself over your mouth to keep your pretty sighs hidden from his ears he’ll be so >:(

turd lowly after pulling away from you, the sight of your wetness covering his chin making you wanna hide away in embarrassment but his eyes were just daring you to make a move 

slaps your cunt and says shit like

“let me hear you pretty girl.”

such sweet words filled with so much nastiness that it had you squirming under his stare

can be really into degradation too, especially when he’s been edging you for hours on end 

just loves the frustrated furrow between your brows and the little pout that sits on top of those pretty lips of yours when you don’t get your way - knowing he’s not gonna give into you anytime soon

speaks to you so condescendingly that it makes you feel so small beneath him and you can’t even bite back 

not if you wanna get dicked down that is

will continue until you’re squirming and begging for his cock and just loves how far he can push your until you’re on your knees crying that you’ll be good for him

“can’t even act like you’re not desperate for my cock for five fucking minutes huh?”

𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

he won’t stfu istg 😭🤚

very much a whiner

begs will be dripping from his lips the moment he gets a mere glance at your pretty pussy

looks like he saw *god* each and everytime pls

very impatient but gets you off so well despite that

his fingers will be knuckle deep inside of you, curling them against your walls as his lips left open-mouthed kisses against your heat - sucking on your clit and being you to the edge of orgasm soso well

humps the bed sometimes cause he wants to be inside of you so bad and he just can’t help himself from whimpering out against your cunt with every soft roll of his hips into the mattress, desperate for some type of release :(

will mutter shit against you and you so badly wanna tell him to stfu but he’s eating you out like a starved man, tongue tracing your cunt and fingers pumping into your so clumsily that you can’t even wrap your head around the thought of even forming words atm

“just wanna make you cum, wanna be good for you.”

“you look so pretty, can’t wait to feel you hugging my cock.” 

slurs his words a lot and literally can’t think straight when all he wants is to be buried deep inside you  

whines, whimpers, and cries against the skin of your neck when he finally sinks into you - burying his head deeper into your shoulder to muffle his moans but you swear it does nothing to quieten this boy down 

probably have the neighbours knocking on your door every morning complaining cause he’s so loud

he just can’t help it though :( you just always feel so good for him :( 

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐗

big giver and very vocal

very much into body worship and praise so literally everything that leaves this guys lips will be the most endearing shit you’ve ever heard

and you don’t even know how to act when he’s like this cause it’s like,, bro,, that’s all well and cute but,, you’re currently balls deep inside of me???

and he’s just like :) i love u :) ur so pretty :)

“c’mon pretty girl, i know you can hold on for me. you’ve always been so good for me, you’re not gonna stop now huh?”

also extremely big into communication during sex

like he’ll literally be rearranging your guts and will just go

“are you okay baby? you sure it’s not too much for you? 🥺” with t h a t gaze and you just wanna melt right then and there 

almost makes you forget about the cock that was currently stretching you out so well and good

more of a groaner than anything

THE DEEPEST GRUNTS !! 

(sometimes whimpers when he’s about to cum but he’ll never admit to it)

extremely sensitive to even the slightest bit of touch will get this guy going

if you’re teasing him he’ll lose his goddamn mind

like you could be dragging your cunt against his cock, ignoring his begs for you to finally sink down onto him and he’ll be soso whiney about it with no shame 

poor boy just wants to get his dick wet :(

always mumbles sweet praises when you’re done and calls you his good girl 

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍

so fucking vile with it

just likes seeing those pretty eyes of yours welling up with tears :(

the overstimulation of his nipping words and the cock that was drilling mercilessly into your tight cunt making you sob out against him and he’s eating every single whimper and whine up

100% the type to laugh straight in your face when you beg him to slow down, only for your hips to rut up against him like a bitch in heat as soon as he does 

and you just so badly wanna punch him straight in his pretty face but you also wanna get dicked down so-

can get a little carried away sometimes though and doesn’t think before he speaks when his dick is fully seated inside your dripping heat

says shit like

“tell me why you deserve to cum and i’ll think about it.”

“aw, is my baby gonna cry? let me see those tears pretty girl.”

and you can’t even think about fighting back cause the way he’s twitching inside of you and kissing against your walls was all just too much

besides his mean words he’ll be mostly quiet with the occasional groan

mostly wants to hear how well he’s ruining you

as soon as your mouth is on him though he’s all over the place 

groans, curses, fucking w h i n e s

and he hates it sm

becomes a tad nicer when his dick is in your mouth cause he’d rather cum thank you very much

“fuck your mouth feels so good, keep taking me like a good girl.”

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍

gets extremely embarrassed during sex so he’ll hold himself back a lot

buries his face in your neck while fucking into you, muffling his moans against your warm skin

doesn’t really talk a lot except for the occasional

“so pretty for me baby, so good.”

and other shit you can’t make out cause he’s just mumbling all over the place and groaning between his words and just soso pussy drunk

just wants to hear how good he’s making you feel :(

definitely mumbles a lot and stumbles over his words the closer he is to spilling into you

furrows his brows and clenches his jaw real tight when he finally paints your plush walls in his cum, holding his grunts back and you so badly wanna tell him to relax but the way his cock was slowly softening inside of you and warming your insides with his thick cum dripping past your folds had you so cock drunk cock that you couldn’t even find it in yourself to do so

becomes so whiney when your cunt tightens around his dick, the overstimulation of having just came while you continued to milk him making him grip the sheets next to your head - whimpering into your neck and he’s soso humiliated but he can’t even find it in himself to care as begs continue to spill from his lips 

10/10 the prettiest whines ever

the type to thank you after you suck his dick <3

© 𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐦𝐬 — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠/𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝.

[anantaru]

DAY 9 — THREESOME

kinktober 2023. — masterlist | ao3

𖧡 — including — blade & jing yuan (together)

𖧡 — warnings — fem! reader, threesome, oral (fem! receiving) & oral (male! receiving), they fight over you midst fucking lmao, playing with your tits, fingering, rough & needy & messy just how we like it

nobody wants to be alone, right?

and aside from that, you always prefer to end your active, restless days with someone in between your legs, while another uses your mouth just right— so, lets be honest here, to say that you were downright anticipating for night to fall, as a result of countless days without any physical touch, thus far being utterly touch starved, would be an understatement. 

what a special catch it was, to now, finally, have a so called, stellaron hunter in between your legs, and even though blade has no right to be this good at it— he can’t stop himself and graciously dig his fingers into the flesh of your hips before rushing his tongue over your clit, feverishly hiccuping against the trail of wet sucks on your pussy. how was he always so content with your needs? or utterly aware on which pulsing splotches he had to circle his tongue around to have you moan after each incoherent word falling flat from your mouth.

but don't you forget just now— he wasn't the only one relishing in such lascivious setting, because aside from having yourself being pleasured by a criminal bad-guy, helplessly dance around the feeling of ravaging tingles pulling the nerves on your little pussy, another man— a general, softly drags your head to the right to penetrate your mouth with his dripping cock, bemoaning the fact that he too, needs it as desperately as you did.

jing yuan— he likes when you follow his lead obediently, when you don't even bat your soused lashes at him while he selfishly traps his erection between your burning lips, slipping the mess of his pre and your saliva in and out of you whilst groaning out deliciously, craving for more friction on his shaft before you messily moan around his dick, spilling the buried mixture of saliva and cum all over his length when he makes you slurp each and every drop again.

"you know you can do better than that." the general coos to you, sucking a mirage of breaths through his teeth before using his free hand, which wasn't located on the back of your head as the other, to pinch and twist a nipple in between his digits before idly glancing down at blade, "or is he really giving you that much of a hard time?" his voice, ugh, it's obvious but it drips condescension towards the criminal, who really wasn't in a more clear state of mind than you were— considering the fact on how ravishingly fine he was devouring you right now, your sex clenching around his pink muscle and sticking it so far up inside your cunt before spreading your legs further apart, all his focus and excitement on you, increasing in need as he drives you downright mad with the tip of his tongue prodding at your soaked slit.

but for a second, the fullness of bis muscle on you was gone and blade replaces his lusting tongue with his long, slender fingers instead— a small, surprised gasp hitching from your throat as the stellaron hunter curiously tilts his head towards jing yuan, proudly showing off the translucent arousal sticking on his chin and cheeks when the dangerous glow on his eyes was static, trained to remain consistent on their next target.

"who says that you're doing better than me?" blade grins devil alike, sloppily fucking your pussy with his fingers, which he always called his and— obviously, there was someone else in the room right now, but he was the one being down there, in between your trembling thighs, tasting the very thing he always emphasized was his.

with his digits now glistening of your arousal, he happily highlights his point the moment you let out a loud whimper that went straight into jing yuan's cock, rushing back and forth before running back to your mouth. and you're on the verge of it, truly, unable to focus besides feeling how blade's fingers rub at your sensitivity hard, leaving his marks and prints along the velvet flesh of your walls.

"me?" jing yuan laughs back breathily, fucking into your mouth and imagining it to be your greedy, little entrance constricting around his shaft instead, maybe if he scrunches his eyes shut hard enough it will feel just like your pussy moulding after his erection, feeling as soft as it when he grips at your breast to pinch your nipple before lightly smacking your tit, tugging at the roots of your pleasure as your body litters with goosebumps, sweat clinging to your skin while you cry out through a stuffed mouth.

of course, jing yuan knows he's doing a better job, he knows you, inside and out— was aware on how much you liked your mouth being used by him, or have his musky, penetrative scent invade your nostrils until you're practically gushing and hiccuping around his length, once more hollowing your cheeks when he digs deeper to touch the back of your throat with his thick cockhead.

but blade, he won't let this end without a proper fight— his mouth again, latching onto your pussy for the dear life of him, together with his fingers scissoring your slit, his wet tongue glides all over the fat of your folds and drinking up each and every ripple of your cunt. the sensation makes your hips buck up and meet the general's blows on your mouth half way while continuing to pleasure him, while, well, being pleasured yourself and slowly inching closer to a much deserving orgasm.

your lips are aching by now, your hips burning at the tight grip blade had on you as he runs a hand over your bare stomach, pushing down, flicking his tongue over your budding clit, and fantasizing if he was able to feel his cock being buried inside of you later whilst jing yuan— you might guess correctly by now but he wouldn‘t feel satiated without touching the insides of your dripping pussy at least once ..

.. even if he had to fight for it in such, obscene way.

©2023 anantaru's kinktober do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[hazelfoureyes]

A Doe in Fall (part 2)

I have a terrible case of the big bad sads so enjoy part 2 earlier than I planned

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 Part 9 - Shiny Things Part 10 - Good Deeds

Part 2 Liar

You not-stalk Alastor for weeks but don’t find anything blackmail worthy to grab ahold of. But luckily (?) for you, a chance encounter pulls you deeper into his hobbies and therefore his scope of fascination. Most importantly, do murderers go on dates?

「Warnings/Promises: Smut, HumanAlastor x FemBurlesquerReader, Alastor eats pussy like beignets (MESSY), dancing, shoe stress, murder, dead body, food metaphors, stalking, masturbation, Tommy is a bad dude, allusion to coerced prostitution, praise kink?, public sex acts, stage name is a fucking pun GOTCHU BITCHES, Gluttony」

minors dni please

The nights you didn’t work were spent casually looking for Alastor. Not stalking, just …. pursuing. 

You found over the course of several weeks what places he never attended, and a few that he did like clockwork. As much as you wanted to approach him, you knew you’d end up checkmated again. You just wanted to observe the man, surely you’d see something you could use against him, something tangible.

What was he doing? Knife carrying smooth talker who fingers ladies in the park? There was more to him than you anticipated. That addictive adrenaline rush was calling you to chase him. You’d catch him in the act of whatever men like him did, and—- well, you’d figure it out then. Was he a mugger, maybe? The knife would make sense. But he disposed of bodies so well, a month and no mention of a corpse anywhere. You didn’t want to even touch the thought bubbling up in the back of your skull. It was getting louder and louder, heavier than the other thoughts.

A repeat killer.

You decided, somewhat foolishly, if he was a killer it would be best to know that information. So you needed to continue even if the cards all read death. Right? 

Right.

For all his efforts, he hadn’t actually noticed you. While he tended to stay at the back of the room, you were always further back, on the balcony, at the bar. He went about enjoying his nightlife wholly unaware someone was watching. Because of this, he did things that were considered quite dangerous for a woman.

Many nights you found yourself alone in wooded areas. Well, “alone”. 

During your casual stalking you found him to be quite pretty, in a sense. He walked smoothly, always had pressed and tailored suits. Slender fingers, wide shoulders, small waist. Fingers.

Many more nights you buried your face into your pillow and thought about his hands on you, his breath at your ear. His “Shhh.” You couldn’t replicate the feeling. No matter how you tried.

If all else failed, no juicy blackmail available, maybe just endear yourself to him. Bed him. Get the conquest done and let him go on with his little crime spree or whatever it was he was doing when you weren’t watching. Because so far all you’ve seen is a man who loves to dance and enjoys whiskey. 

After another show done, body sore, you did your tour of the theatre. Tommy was snapping his fingers at you from the bar, his attempt to tell you to come over. Every day he seemed to become more and more brutish.

“What can I do for ya?” You tried to keep a bounce in your step, arches aching. 

“I want you to meet someone.” Tommy turned to a small man at the bar, hair thinning and combed forward. You guessed in his sixties. “Give Mr. Wilson a warm welcome. He’s one of your most generous benefactors.”

You nodded, smile slipping as you mind started to consider what was happening. You had heard some girls were taking dates, offering private shows, but you had been under the impression that was entirely of their own free will and desire. Had Tommy turned pimp? Your gaze flashed to Tommy, his stare cold, and then back to the man. “Well, thank you very much doll! Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Wilson.” Tommy saw someone walk by and followed, leaving you with the older man. 

“Your dance was something else, sweetheart.” You nodded, his hand coming to rest on your hip. “I bet those hips do more than dancing.”

Leaning in, you rested your hand on the hand he set on your hip and whispered into his ear, “Touch me again without my permission,” you lifted his tie, a flirtatious move to anyone watching, “And the next time you see this tacky tie, you’ll be shitting it out.” You patted his chest. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

You pushed through the crowd and out of the front doors of the theatre. The air chillier tonight than past weeks. Looking around, you balled your fists. You wanted to hit something, break something.

Without any destination you tore off down the street, angrily huffing to yourself. You looked both ways to cross the intersection when you saw a familiar silhouette. A car honked, your hands coming up in apology as you finished crossing the street to follow Alastor.

Was your luck miraculous? Or malignant? You made it several blocks before a man stepped in front of you. You weren’t listening, trying to look past him to see where Smiles was headed.

“Will you fuck off?!” You pushed him out the way only to have him pull you back by the arm. Before you could let out your frustration, a stranger walked up to you both. 

“Hands off, move along.” The stranger flashed his identification papers, making the offender leave quickly with his head down. “Miss you need to be careful out here. There’s been people missing from this ward. Pretty thing like you should be home.” 

Your mouth formed various shapes, no words fitting.

“Detective Brady.” He handed you a card.

I don’t want this.

“Sure, thanks.” You snatched it with two fingers and practically jogged away. No sign of him, no indication where Alastor went. Were there any forested areas? He often took strolls in shady parks but you couldn’t remember any nearby. Turning around you realized how far you’d wandered from the fanfare and lights. The area was dark and deserted, not just Alastor but no one was around anymore. You stashed the card in your bra and rushed past an alley, giving up and deciding to just go home, when your ears caught the sound of dragging fabric on pavement.

Ice. Your blood chilled. Taking a few steps backwards, you turned to look into the darkened side street. You saw nothing, but heard a familiar wet sound.

Would it matter? Death?

You lifted your heels, walking on the balls of your feet to not make any sound as you approached the black shadow blanketing the majority of the side street.

A glimpse of brown leather shoes peeked into the light, soon your eyes adjusted as you too entered the inky darkness.

“I don’t care for liars.” Alastor was in front of you before you could even shout from shock. You looked around him to see a crumpled body on the ground and a black car.

“Is there a problem?” His eyes scanned your face, his usual smile no longer so inviting but instead manic and wide. You don’t know what possessed you, the adrenaline was flowing again and drowning out your more sensible thoughts. 

Your eyes were locked on his golden brown stare, “Only… if you’re quite attached to his wallet.”

He burst into laughter, wiping tears with the back of his bloodied glove. A small smear of blood was left behind on his cheek.

“I have no need for it.” He reached down and fished it out of the man’s pocket, “And neither does he!”

You caught it with both hands, “Well doesn’t that make me the lucky lady of the evening.”

“Don’t speak too soon. I’m quite cross with you.” He gestured at you with the knife, “We had a deal.”

In what could best be described as an out of body experience you watched yourself rush to his side and lift the man’s legs, “In the trunk?”

Alastor stared at you, teeth showing as his smile grew, “I’ve seen films less entertaining than you.” A stifled laugh as he lifted the man from under his arms and you both carried him to the car. You dropped the legs with a loud thud, Alastor gently setting the man down and opening the trunk.

A waxed canvas was lining the inside, “Clever.” You hadn’t meant to say it out loud. He hummed happily at the compliment and you sank your teeth into the reaction. Everyone wants something; power, money, sex, praise. Find the right combination and even the toughest hearts would swing open. 

After he tossed the man, the knife, and the gloves into the back, you reached for his hand. “Your wife is going to be miffed. Blood is so difficult to get out of cotton.” You scratched at the bit of blood that had stained his cuff. “Spit works really well. But lemon juice and baking soda before any store bought cleaners will help.”

Alastor took his hand back, adjusting his sleeve to hide the red spot, “Oh she has much bigger issues to deal with.”

Your mind raced. A chauvinist? Abuser? A weight settled into your stomach; disappointment. “Is that so?”

Giggling, he leaned against the bumper, one leg crossing in front of the other, “Considering she doesn’t exist, she’s quite terrible at laundry. And I haven’t eaten a meal in years.” A giggle devolving into a full chest laugh. 

A terrible joke, you smacked his chest, “Cruel! Unfunny!” 

“Perhaps I should eat you?” He leaned close. 

“I hear I’m quite sweet.” You smirked, heart pounding in your chest with such force you were rocking slightly with each pulse.

Alastor felt his blood pressure rising. He should kill you. Just to be safe. But—- oh, this was so fun. You hid any fear you were feeling perfectly. He could be forgiven to think he was staring into a mirror. If he met himself in an alley, well, he would feel quite safe. Perhaps you we’re of a similar inclination?

He watched your throat as you gulped. You licked your thumb and wiped at his cheek, “You always make a mess, hun.”

Alastor felt the world spin as you then dragged your blood stained thumb over your lips, red lipstick smearing with it. “Sweet eno-,” he swallowed your words, hand coming to your neck and pulling you into the kiss. No patience, his tongue swiped over your mouth and plunged in at the smallest parting. 

Your mind was screaming, finally, yes. 

His tongue as soft as his hands rolled over your own, every time your mouths pulled away and drew back together was thinning your frontal cortex. Alastor could taste the faint metallic tinge of the man’s blood on your mouth, and he found his sleeping libido shiver awake. Always a fan of kissing, he now found his mind wandering to other parts of your body, other acts of affection, as he felt you’d call them.

No time. He pulled away, “Against the wall.”

You practically threw yourself into the bricks. Alastor pulled a gas tin from the trunk and began dousing the street. You frowned, body relaxing.

“You’re taking the food metaphor too far. Fire? Really?” You took a second to realize there was no odor.

A laugh in threes, “Water, dear.” You watched the blood thin and begin snaking down to the gutter. He set the can in the trunk and closed the hatch. After opening the drivers door he turned to you, “Do you trust me to drive you home?”

“Honestly, no.”

“That’s why I like you,” a wink. “Wear comfortable shoes tomorrow.” He flashed a smile, pushing his glasses up. Before you could question him he  hopped into the car and drove off out of the back of the side street.

Alastor found himself singing a little louder as he drove home. A thrilling evening becoming somehow more exciting. He realized that always seemed to happen when you stumbled into his plans. Still annoyed you had followed him, his thoughts shifted to possibilities. A kindred spirit could make things easier. More fun. Safer. But who were you? Much like himself you wore a mask. He could see it clearly as it always began to slip in his presence. 

He pulled his car behind his home, backed up against a large greenhouse. Still in the idling vehicle, his fingers came to his lips. What a peculiar creature you were. Killing the lights and letting his eyes adjust to the darkness, he considered what to do. The possibilities kept coming in waves. But he stopped himself, never one to live in fantasy. Helping toss a dead man into a car wasn’t the same as killing. Yes, you showed no outward concerns, but he couldn’t be sure you wouldn’t turn tail the second things got more intense. 

He always took his time, sensing out those who were good candidates. The abhorrent, the abusers, the cruel. There was something so satisfying, deep in his gut, to watch a person with power over others cower in fear. The same eyes that relished in the pain they gave to those under their thumb shaking in realization the were now the prey. Begging for mercy they didn’t afford others. Alastor sighed. He remembered your pained sob in the park, frustration and disappointment at his lack of reaction. Eyes fluttering closed, if you had gotten in the car you’d not be disappointed in him now. 

A deeper sigh. But you didn’t. Which was wise. He thought better of you for it. Opening his eyes and leaving the car, he went to the trunk to begin his work.

You couldn’t sleep. Not because of the dead man, you were getting used to that. It was the lack of information. Comfortable shoes? For what? He didn’t give you a time or place to meet.

Tomorrow was Sunday, you realized. Ah, the bar. That was the only place that would make sense. 

Sundays were big nights for your theatre, but you weren’t needed unless a girl was sick. You simply weren’t at that level of fame for your little company and this was fine for you suddenly. You spent your Sunday pacing your small one room apartment and changing shoes.

What did Alastor have planned? With the little you knew about him it a could be a capital crime or a walk in the park. You genuinely couldn’t imagine and it was exciting. A normal man asking you—- was this a date? Was it presumptive to call it a date? You couldn’t quite see Alastor dating. You let the question go. Most men would take you for a movie and perhaps a chaste kiss at the door of a cab. With Alastor it could be literally anything. How do you dress for anything? 

Your friend teased you, arriving early to her bar and chewing on your lip. 

“So, either you suddenly wanna look nice for my dive, or you’re expecting someone.” She was wiping down the counter.

“I adore your customers, Betty.” You hopped from the seat, needing to reapply your lipstick.

Your singing voice was strained, nerves keeping you tense. Looking into the modest crowd you couldn’t find him. A cornflower yellow dress, a little too tight around your waist but you didn’t let that stop you. The collar a loose and folding slit from shoulder to shoulder, you were positively cute, he decided. Leaning at the bar he couldn’t see your face, but under the small lights you were glowing nonetheless. A little ball of pride rose in his gut, noticing you clearly had put more care into your appearance tonight than most Sundays. 

Truth was he had enjoyed a whiskey and your songs for several months now, always at the seat closest to the door, out of sight and out of mind. His favorite of your casual dive bar digs were the trousers you occasionally wore. You looked so sharp.

When your set was done, you tried to be gracious as you left the piano’s side. Alastor watched you from his seat, letting your face light up once again when you recognized him. He gave a noticeable look to your shoes. 

“Those will do.” 

“Do what?” 

“You,” he leaned against the bar, “owe me a drink. And alcohol always pairs well with dance.”

Maybe a date, you thought. You offered him your arm, “Lead the way.”

As you walked, arm in arm, you found yourself not needing to speak much. His arm was so solid in yours. You felt like everyone was looking, the handsome man and the pretty young thing. Did you two look sweet? Like the cleanest cut kids in the neighborhood? Did you look like the kind of people who sat in pews once a week and clasped hands over dinner?

Did you look like the sort to toss bodies in cars? No, decidedly not. And it made you feel powerful. What a perfect act. The feeling of looking nothing like what you were was akin to the addicting rush of your cat and mouse game with most men. 

“Do you like those group dances? Like the Big Apple?” Alastor asked as he opened the doors for you. 

“Not particularly…”

“Perfect, neither do I.” He laughed. 

A small table in a small nook of a booth lining the small dance floor. You clinked your glasses together, no toast necessary, and watched the couples swing around the room. As the 20’s were fading from the rear view, you all hoped dance would be less stigmatized. But part of the fun was how scandalous it was. 

“How was your day? Made it home safe and sound?” Alastor crossed his legs and leaned into the plush booth seat. 

Oh, this was going to be… normal? You choked a little on your drink, surprised. “Honestly?”

“Always.”

“I sat in my apartment changing my shoes repeatedly.”

Alastor’s laugh was loud and sharp, but you didn’t find it obnoxious. You liked it.

“That wasn’t my intention. I just didn’t want to risk you being unable to dance.”

You rolled your eyes, taking a slow sip with your gaze on the dancers, “Ya know how to avoid that? Tell me to wear shoes for dancing.”

A snicker, “Perhaps I’m not quite as skilled with talking to women as I like to think.”

“Then talk to me like a man.” Your glass made a thud as it hit the table. Alastor’s eyes widened as they always did when you said something wildly amusing to him.

“Hmm, I don’t talk much to men.” He thought, “Not for long conversations, that is.” Your mind conjured up the two dead men. “I never asked your name. Is it too late now?”

“You saw it on the posters. Autumn.”

Alastor smirked, “Autumn Hind is not your real name. That is clearly a stage name.”

Swirling your drink in its crystal, you smiled, “It’s a good one though, you have to admit.” His brow cocked, not understanding. “Hind, a doe. And what do does do in the fall?” Your own brows rose suggestively. 

Alastor hit the table, “A deer pun?! Oh darling, we’re going to be fast friends.” He offered you his glass for another wordless toast.

“I thought it was pretty funny, for a burlesque dancer no less. A horny little deer prancing on stage. Better than Allie Way and Frosti Winters.” You grinned into the glass, proud of yourself.

You could see Alastor physically relax beside you, dancers moving about in front of you both. 

“And yours? Your day, that is.”

He hummed, “I slept late, stayed up late. Took care of our newly penniless friend.” 

You wanted to ask more, what did you do with him? Can I come next time? Is there a pool of gators somewhere eating well today?

He leaned in to you, “May I have this dance?”

Your smile was uncontained, all desire to control your outward appearance was lost in the fun of dancing with your newest partner. Was there anyone else in the room with you anymore? Who knows. The music kept playing and that was all you needed. 

Alastor was a marvelous dancer,  you noticed other women glancing his way, eye lashes fluttering but ignored as he focused on the movements. This was how you managed to not-stalk him so well, he was completely unaware of the interested gazes of those around him.

While he didn’t notice the individual stares, Alastor could feel the attention on him and it made his chest puff. He loved it, how he could feed an image to the masses and be seen as he saw fit. It was something you both had in common, even if neither of you had strong enough egos to vocalize it yet.

When the music wound down, a slow number for the lovers, you hadn’t expected Alastor to stay on the dance floor. A slow dance, one arm on your hip, hand in hand. 

Now close, you felt you could speak without risk of others eavesdropping. 

“Why did you invite me out? I have a distinct memory of you saying you had very little affection or time.” You were shorter than him, your shoes not very tall, so you had to speak up and at his neck.

“A man who says he has no time is a man unwilling to make any.” Alastor led you in a small sway along the floor.

“Oh so you just didn’t see me worth the effort before.” You said it half teasingly, half seriously.

He looked down now, eyes meeting yours again, “That was before I knew how entertaining you could be.”

You pouted, entertaining was not the word you wanted to hear. Enthralling, Enchanting, Endearing. 

“There’s that face again. What ever could it mean.” Alastor’s head cocked to the side.

“I’m entertaining at work. You don’t need to take me out to enjoy my entertainment value.” 

He laughed again, making you glare, “Darling, being entertaining is high praise. And you’re not entertaining at work. You’re bewitching.” He pulled you a little closer, “The way you make those men act a fool. Truly a sight. You wield a power many women just dabble in.”

You shimmied a little against his chest, “Well if we’re giving out compliments…” you remembered the satisfying hum from last night, “The canvas was clever, but the water in the cans was brilliant. Nothing suspicious about a little petrol in the trunk.”

His grin widened. “And your precision. One cut and that brute was down. It was remarkable.” The hand holding your waist began to tighten. It egged you on, whether he intended it to or not, “I can appreciate the way you carry yourself.” Your freehand ran across his vest, suit jacket left at the table, “I wish I could see more.”

Your chest pressed against his, trapping your hand. “Ooh, you are observant, little one. Why did you agree to come out? Still chasing my,” his hips pressed against yours, hand sliding down slightly to hold you close, “affection?”

Fingers playing with his buttons, “Hmm, debilitating fascination and your affection. Do you have any to spare?” You smiled sweetly up at him.

Your mouths were on each other before the bathroom door closed behind you. Alastor locking it without looking, one hand staying on your neck. The small room was just a single toilet and a bathroom cabinet with a built in sink. Little tulip shaped light sconces above the mirror made the room brighter than the dance hall. Your nails lightly grazed his scalp, him humming in return. His body was pressing yours against the wall, despite his thin frame he had a power to him. Hands on your hips, holding you firmly in place. Your hips tried to roll against his anyway.

“Is it praise? I’ll sing your song until I’m blue in the face, until my lungs give out just tell me what you need.” You whined. 

His head shook softly, thumb pulling down on your chin to open your mouth. “It isn’t that simple. It’s not something you can say.” 

His tongue swiped over your own, neither in your mouths. He tasted like whiskey, bitter and fragrant. Your eyes fluttered shut, feeling his body against yours. You were vibrating; the way you always did when he was near you.

Kissing, tongues, body presses.  You were tangled together.

“This isn't��� doing anything?” You asked, his lips coming to your neck. Sighing, your hand gripped his hair weakly. “That feels good.”

He shook his head into your skin, “I don’t see any desire to carry it further. But I enjoy it for what it is. And you seem to enjoy it. Is that enough for you?”

You wanted to scream, to argue, but as he pulled away and you stared up into his sharp honey brown eyes, you felt helpless to deny him anything. Did you need sex? Really? It’d been three months now without it and you were only recently clawing at the sheets with thoughts of Alastor. Being in his mouth was better than being strangers. Sliding fingers back into his hair and drawing him closer, your leg came up and hooked on his hip.

Alastor pulled you both from the wall and turned you, pressing your body into the sink. You were staring at your reflection, Alastor’s eyes meeting yours in the mirror, “I’m happy to do many things for you… just not exactly what you’re asking for; not right now. Not in this tiny dance hall bathroom.” 

His hand snaked up your chest and lightly held your neck, you fought back a moan.

“Well, if it’s good enough for your wife….” 

He laughed into your skin, other hand slipping down the front of your dress and cupping your crotch. “I’ve heard no complaints.” The way he anchored you, arms twisted and firm around such vital parts of you, made your whole body relax into his arms. A parachute safely secured around you as you fell. Mouth to your ear, hot and warm breath, “Turn around.”

Head spinning, you turned in his arms. Alastor lifted you up and onto the countertop of the sink, lips crashing back into yours.

The sound of music shook the thin walls of the room, heart erratic in your chest. His fingers slid up both thighs slowly, a familiar feeling for you now. His hands your favorite dance partner. 

His eyes didn’t leave yours as he dropped to his knees, your legs closing in embarrassment before he slid his hands between them. 

“Did you ask for more affection, dear?” He pushed your dress up around your waist, two fingers pulling the fabric of your panties to the side. You wanted to rip them off, damning your garters. You felt feverish as you watched him bury his face into your pussy. Your wetness was evident by how easily he glided through your folds. One hand gripped the counter, the other combing through his chestnut hair. Alastor kept his eyes on you, reading your face as he moved his tongue over your heat.

Mind racing for something clever to say, you opened your mouth but just gasped out his name as he sucked gently at your clit. One of your short heeled shoes you stressed over fell off as your knees came up around his head.

You were confident you made the right answer. With the music thumping along you didn’t feel any need to keep yourself quiet.

Your breathy moans and little hip rolls into his mouth made Alastor smile against your skin. He had learned many ways to keep people satiated. 

With a struggle, you opened your legs again allowing his tongue to drop down and into you. Nose rutting against your sensitive clit with every movement of his tongue in and out. 

A pounding on the door made you jump. 

“People are waiting!” Someone yelled.

Alastor pushed his tongue deeper, wriggling up and down against your twitching walls. Your head fell forward, “Alastor-,” you choked.

He buried his nose into your muff, eyes closing.

The door knob rattled, “Hello!”

“Alastor.”

So warm. Your body was so warm on his face. Your smell was making him feel feral. Gluttony. The way you were twitching and heaving under his tongue, groaning his name. Had he ever felt so powerful while on his knees? Had he ever enjoyed someone else’s body in such a bloodless way? No. Decidedly not.

“We’re gonna get the key!” The man at the door said.

“Okay, okay, affection received.” You patted his head, pushing him away by his forehead. “Don’t need to end the night in a paddy wagon.”

Alastor’s tongue was still out, eyes glossy as he looked up at you.

For the briefest second you considered wrapping your thighs back around his head and waiting for the key.

You hopped off, grabbing your shoe and leaning to get it back on. Crouching down you kissed Alastor’s nose and wiped his chin clean with your handkerchief before pushing it into his shirt pocket. “Up, up!” Hand in hand you barreled out of the door before the staff could see you and rushed to the furthest corner of the hall.

When you stopped and looked back you saw a staff member looking around annoyed, a man putting his hands up and entering the bathroom with a huff.

Before you could say anything, compliment or scolding, a woman was in front of Alastor. Your hand slid from his naturally. 

“I am so sorry. Are you the host of that jazz show?” The woman had her hands in front of her, nervously twisting the handle of her purse, “Sorry if you’re not! You just look like the description, tall… handsome… cute glasses.”

You turned around, partly acting like you didn’t know him at all and partly hiding the way your face twisted. Unsure what exactly you two were doing, you didn’t want to create hassle for either of you.  Alastor laughed, “The very same! Alastor, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” With your back turned you couldn’t see the woman’s face, but she made a barely audible squeak. 

While you were eavesdropping, a man offered you his arm. Your hand slipped to Alastor’s back, giving him a touch as you slid into the strangers arms for a dance.

He turned around to see you hit the floor and smiled, returning to the fan before him. After a few more compliments about his voice and his appearance, the woman shrunk a little, “Are you free tonight? I don’t have an escort home…”

A hum, soft smile, “Ah, I would love to see a fan safely home. But, alas, I am here with someone.”

What an easy excuse. It was nice to not need to lie.

“I see…. Oh, uh, your glasses… here, they’re a little smudged,” she offered him her handkerchief but he declined, pulling yours from his pocket.

“Danced too hard?” She chuckled, trying to elongate the conversation.

Alastor hummed, fogging the glasses before wiping them clear. “Eating, actually.”

“Oh you’re a messy eater, huh?”

“So I’ve been told.” He folded the square into a triangle and returned it to his pocket.

“What a… delicate handkerchief.” She looked at the soft yellow fabric and saw your yellow dress twirling behind him. “Ah. Well….It was a pleasure to meet you.” The woman sheepishly excused herself, letting him watch you dance around the floor with the stranger.

He’d never so explicitly told anyone his proclivities as he had done with you. Growing up he learned quickly his interests misaligned with other young men, but he didn’t really understand it well enough until he entered his early 20s and had to learn skills his peers didn’t. A man can only turn down so many offers for sex before people begin to question him. Certain rumors could be downright dangerous. 

Your eyes kept returning to him, your smile meeting you eyes as you twirled. 

While he had bed a number of partners, it was more often than not the result of physical reactions and what felt like necessity. The few times he genuinely felt he could enjoy in indulging in carnal pleasures he found himself utterly alone. He enjoyed dating, necking, kissing, but he could only keep some people so happy for so long. Quite a few women assumed marriage would solve the issue, and pushed him. Which made the inevitable break up easier. 

His reputation was that of a rake now. The popular host who rarely dates but often canoodles.

He laughed to himself, if rumors spread of his recent antics with you he’d be practically blacklisted from certain clubs. Alastor watched you graciously leave your dance partner and hop up to him. If he were any other man, you’d throw your arms around him and make him swoon for you. But he was Alastor. Your confusingly respectful killer. So you stopped yourself, instead offering him a smile.

“I wasn’t aware you were a radio host.”

“You never did ask my job.” You both walked back to the table where his jacket was lying in the booth seat.

“Honestly did not care. Which is unusual for me. Normally my first question to men is what they do for work.” You tried to avoid looking at the bathroom before settling back into your seat beside him.

He lifted his hand and gestured for another round, “Should I be flattered or insulted?”

“Oh definitely flattered. There were much more interesting aspects to you.” There was a little space between you, a foot or so of emptiness. 

You scooted closer, Alastor glancing to you before shifting his legs and closing the last few inches of distance. Thigh touching thigh, you sat silently while your drinks were poured and brought to your table. 

“To sinning,” you offered a real toast, Alastor laughing his signature laugh and raising his glass.

“To sinning!”

His hand came to rest on yours, both settled on your lap under the table. Your cheeks were hurting, desperately trying to keep your smile looking demure and not stupid-school-girl-in-love. His fingers folded into yours, and you entirely lost the plot, face melting into a lovesick grin.

Alastor leaned into you, “Are you alright? Liquor already gone to your head?”

You squeezed his hand, “Different kind of intoxication, doll.”

The evening was, in a word, divine. You danced with reckless abandon and enjoyed various degrees of affection. You were surprised to see Alastor so open, you had pegged him as less wanting to draw attention to himself. But no, he clearly relished in making heads turn.

He offered you a ride, and this time you took it. You didn’t live far, you just wanted a little more time. When he stopped the car, you jokingly turned around and looked into the trunk. 

“We’re very alone.” You mused. He hummed an agreement, getting out of the car and opening your door.  “Wow and a gentleman.”

“A testament to my mother. If you’re comfortable, give me a wave from the window when you get in.” He closed your door behind you. 

“I don’t mind if you know where I live, you’ll have easier opportunities to kill me, I’m sure of it.” Placing two hands on his chest, you leaned up, “Is a good night kiss too forward?”

Alastor stifled a laugh, “Quite! My image of you is shattered.” before leaning down to meet your lips.

When in the apartment you turned on a light and went straight to the window. Leaning against his car with both hands in his pockets, Alastor was smiling up at you. With a wave from you, he got back into his car and left.

To say you were on cloud nine would be an understatement. Clouds couldn’t carry the weight of your joy. You’d fall to the ground like lead, regardless of the cloud classification. And with that feeling you went to bed smiling, unaware of the dark catalyst barreling towards you.

༻Masterlist༺

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows

ADIF @multifandomfanatic02 ,

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan ,@valkyrie-expeditions

[appleblueberry-pie]

Can u do yandere house wife Yuuta Okkotsu from jjk?,love u

If i could suffocate and kill you with affection, i would. Here's more food.

HUNGRY, STARVING, Greedy....

He felt nauseous, happy, dizzy, light and so fucking horny. The gurgled cough coming from underneath him inspired him to continue jabbing the knife into the disgusting lowlife's lungs and chest. Over and over and over again. He inhaled, raised the knife, a tight and sweaty grip on it. The handle was hot because of how long he'd been gripping it for. And finally, putting all of his upper body strength into fatally puncturing the body, him and it jolting as he repeated this again. The last time felt the best. It felt so easy to do, so messy and blinding with crimson red, yet that scream ripped out of his throat as he gave a passion into the last stab, the corpse now motionless underneath him.

Oh god, he would probably be somewhere better in life if he didn't meet you. But he can't imagine it ever being better, ever. Just knowing he can make you proud by being his again tonight makes him squirm and smile to the ceiling, blood coating him generously. His hard on made him wince and he shuffles off of the body, tossing the knife somewhere onto the ground.

That's the third person this week. A few more, and he'll finally reach the top targets meant to be executed this year. He's been taking his time getting rid of these targets that can't seem to leave you alone. Starting small with all of your exes and moving up to people that had a larger impact of your life, he's ridding all competition so he can finally spend the rest of his life with you permanently. He wishes your beauty and shine could be hidden from the world, but taking extreme measures for you worked just fine by him. So, he'll stay low for now.

Yuuta was your good boy. So sweet and kind. Humming you a song to sleep almost every night and caressing you in his arms to wake you in the morning. Who needs an alarm clock when your fiancé is there to gently caress your face to wake you from your peaceful slumber on time every morning? It's so hard to leave him when he makes you the best meal choices for breakfast, helps you choose your work outfit for the day and walks you to the door with those big beautiful eyes begging you to stay. Fortunately, wrestling your tongue with his for half a minute gives you enough time to rush out the door and make it to the car before he gives another excuse to keep you at home.

And when you come back home, he's there to help you undress. Maybe with some light begging, puppy eyes, a staring match and light convincing, he can jump into the shower with you. His hands would lather you with soap, the light smell wafting all throughout the bathroom. Carefully, working from your shoulders, down your arms, to your chest and stomach only to start shaking when you begin teasing him and baby talking him about how good of a little wife he's been to you. He accidentally squeezes your breasts a little harder than he would, making you wince.

He'd apologize and you slip out that it's fine in a soft tone. It makes him jump across lines to do it again, finally connecting your back with his front, letting his hands roam lower. And like every other time, it starts with him getting confident, taking the lead and feeling you melt into his hands. Your warm and soft skin molding between his fingers and making his cock twitch uncontrollably. It's so embarrassing how much he's panting. You can tell he can't handle taking the reigns, and before he can stop you, you completely control his brain. Doubling back down on him, sloppy kisses on his neck and chest, lightly squeezing and rubbing his tip in a way that almost makes him squeal.

To summarize without going too far into details, he can't ever be the one in charge. He's too scared.

Sometimes you massage his upper body, knowing how tense he can feel when you two sleep at night. Maybe the laundry load was too hefty for him or the groceries gave him a hard time. You can never figure out why such simple tasks make his muscles as hard as they are during the night. You worry for him sometimes and you ask what he could possibly be doing for him to feel that way. Maybe you two should talk about it? But he reassures you it's fine every time.

Sometimes it's hard to believe that Yuuta has always been your good boy, because you found out recently he leaves sometime in the night and comes back a few hours later. Leaves the house entirely. And it's peculiar. You thought he gave up doing sorcerer work a long time ago, so why does he.....?

You tried to let it go, tried to let it slip your mind. But then it kept happening. Once turned into twice, which turned into five times, which turned into no more of this bullshit please. You felt like it was your turn for a massage now.

And each time he leaves, he comes back to bed feeling tense all over again. And it angers you. You and him swore to keep no secrets from each other. He becomes extremely offended when you assume he is hiding something from you, but this is proof that he seriously is. Leaving the house every other night to come back home without your knowledge where just stresses you out. Where was he going? Is he doing something illegal? Is he hurting someone? Is he....unfaithful? Just thinking about it makes your stomach hurt.

One night, Yuuta returns to bed in just his boxers, showered and as relaxed as he can make himself. Eyebags as prominent as the day he first got them and tired. He slips under the covers you kept warm for him while he was gone and he sighs in bliss. Finally, returning home to you once more makes his mind go black. His hand runs up your back slowly, but he scrunches his eyebrows when he sees you pulling into yourself away from him.

"...Baby? Are you awake?" You don't answer, but he can see that you are. Yuuta sits up a little and sees your strained face. He can now also see that your face was glistening with tears and you continue to turn away from him. His heart and face drops at the sight and he sits up some more to try and see your face, his hand now on your arm to try and pull you back towards him. "Y/n? Please look at me. Why are you crying?" His voice was soft and understanding, with heavy concern mixed in, making you more nervous.

Your stomach twists and turns at how much he worries for you, but it just continues to make you assume the worst. You shake your head and gasp out a sob. You can hear him repeating 'no' behind you and he sits you up to properly talk to you.

You stare at his face silently, slowly regaining your composure. "..." He stutters lightly before beginning. "I'm always here for you when you need it, baby. Just please don't hide anything from me. I can't bare it when something's hurting you and you won't tell-" "Where do you go?"

He sits up straighter at the question, not expecting you to answer. "....What?" You wipe your face, quickly growing angry at the irony of his previous statements. "Where are you going when you leave at night, Yuuta?" You watch the color leave his skin and his lips purse. He averts his gaze for a few seconds before looking back at you, a slight panic in his voice and stutters increasing drastically. "I don't.....I-I-I don't know what you're talking about, dear." "Dear?? Yuuta, you just said we don't lie to each other." "I'm not!!" You give him a nasty stare. One he never thought he'd get from you. It makes him close his mouth immediately and you let the silence grow. ".....You just lied to me again." "I can't tell you." Yuuta gains the courage to blurt out the words and he watches your face contort once more, and immediately regrets his decision.

"That's bullshit! You said we tell each other fucking everything! What's so important that you have to hide it from me for who knows how long?? Are you cheating on me?? Oh god." You turn away from him, not wanting to know if you could've possibly been right with the assumption, getting up to create distance. Yuuta immediately yanks your arm back to him and sits you back down on the bed, turning your face to him to make real eye contact with you. "I wouldn't ever think about cheating on you. I love you. That has never been a thought in my mind ever since I first laid my eyes on you." "Then what are you hiding?"

He thinks about the possibilities of telling you the truth. How possible would it be that you would forgive him? How possible would it be that you just stay angry at him for a few days? How possible would it be that you would shove him away? That you would leave him?? He can't tell you. It sacrifices too much. He just wants to be your man. Forever yours and nothing else. No outsiders intervening, no arguments, no fighting. And he always lets you win, but......he just can't let this one go.

Once he started shaking his head, you knew you couldn't just let this happen. You were scared to understand what he was doing. It had to be something horrible or demented, because why can't he tell you? Does it have to do with you? You were tired of thinking. Yuuta watches you look away from him and walk towards the bedroom door. "Please leave." He blankly stares at you for a few seconds, mouth agape and still. Like he couldn't properly register what you said. But you continued walking out and he followed, his mind lagging behind with speech. "......W-wait. What?....What??"

He began to speed his pace, wanting to grab your arm, your waist, something. Because that couldn't have been what you sai- "Get out of my house." You picked up one of his random shirts, one of his pairs of pants, some shoes and threw them at his feet. "Get out. I don't want to see you right now."

Yuuta began feeling lightheaded and dizzy, his veins popping out of his skin from stress, his hands shaking. His worst nightmare was coming true, all because he wanted to keep you safe. Is this what he gets for being reckless? He couldn't even get words to flow out of his mouth, too scared. Just flimsy excuses that seemed to do more harm than good. ".......I didn't even do anything wrong!" "You're a liar, you've been leaving the house at night for over a month and you can't even tell me the truth! Why should I live with someone like that?"

You were yelling at him now. He watched you scoff before putting your own clothes on. You only managed to get some pants on before Yuuta dropped to his knees in front of you, pulling your wrists to his chest and he stares up at you as if he was a crazed man. Tears coated his wide eyes. Fear shown clear as day. You could feel him shaking.

He began to splutter out words, as if his mind was on autopilot, while feeling like he had to drag them out of the corners of his mind just to make coherent sense. "I didn't do ANYTHING, I promise! IpromiseIpromiseIpromise, just don't fucking leave me! I'll do anything you want, please. I just- I-I can't live without you, I love you." He heaves a sigh, still shaking, before continuing. "I love you so....much. I need you so bad. Everything I've been doing has been for you and will always be for you. Please don't leave. Please."

You were scared to say or do anything. The way he held onto you, squeezed your wrists as if you were his lifeline, was terrifying. Was this the man you wanted to marry? One who kept promises and...did something outside of your knowledge to stay with you? It felt like you didn't have any choice but one, even though his life was entirely yours.

Yuuta rested his head on your stomach, wanting to feel and absorb your heat. He wouldn't let you go unless you told him he could stay. "........."

You stayed silent. He stayed silent. You were still and he continued to shake like a leaf. His mind continued running and you stared down at him. Blank stare at his pathetic face. Waiting for what you wanted. He knew what you wanted. But he couldn't tell you. He stared back up at you, tears building in his eyes once again. You didn't have to say a damn thing and he already knew what you wanted from him. That's how it's always been between the two of you. You let him decide to give you exactly what you want, and he'll sacrifice whatever he needs to just to please you. Whether that would be his money, his time, his soul and heart. And you always provided back in return, your love. And it's all he ever needed to keep satisfying you. But you might tear yourself out of him entirely if he gave you what you wanted, needed. And he didn't want to sacrifice anything. He didn't want to say a word. But he didn't have a choice when his sobs racked out of his chest, his chest that hurt as if someone was squeezing the blood out of it forcefully. He didn't have a choice when his headache throbbed from the back of his head to the front, weakening him. And he didn't have a choice when he knew his mind and heart collectively moved his tongue for him.

He slowly choked out the words, "I killed them." He heard you voice your horror and he held you tighter, wrapping his arms around you to tightly keep you against his yearning body even though you resisted, wailing and speaking louder. "I killed them all. They're dead. But- but I did it all for you, I promise!" He squeezes your clothing tightly, and choked out his words. "I just wanted you to love me. Just me." His words were slurred, but you could make out every bit. The killer held you tighter, sobbing into you. You weren't anything but a woman he had an unhealthy attachment towards. Having that realization towards the man you thought you could entrust your life to was like your castle walls crumbling in a matter of seconds.

You didn't know what to do. He was repeatedly calling out your name now, wanting you to say something, anything to him. It was late at night. The cops couldn't be called. And even if they could be called, they wouldn't help you anyways.

Yuuta felt like he was suffocating and dying. You didn't love him anymore. He could see it on your face. His world was disappearing before his very eyes and grasped to have it back again. His world was in front of him, in his arms, but your presence wasn't there. Not like how it usually was. He wanted you back. He wants you. But how could he take you back when you looked down at him as if he was a stranger from the streets that you couldn't recognize? He wanted your warm hands on his face, he wanted to be inside of you again, he wanted to feel your lips on his, he wanted to hug you again.

He seemed calmer now. No longer crying like a baby, but definitely tired and deluded. "Let me stay? Please?" He stares up at you with those eyes you used to love. His cold hand held yours up to his face for him to rub onto. "I told you. So, you'll let me stay?" You gulp, realizing you'll have to decide. Either let him stay and pretend like nothing happened for your safety, or say no and deal with him crying for you to not escape him. You didn't want either of those.

"Baby.....?"

[riordanness]

pick up lines - [p.jackson]

pairing: percy jackson x reader

wordcount: 1.4K

warnings: none

I hated waking up.

Not that sleeping was particularly amazing, being a demigod and all, but waking up really sucked. I'd been resting peacefully (not), when I was rudely shaken from my sleep by the breakfast bell.

Unfortunately, I had never been an early riser, so most mornings, there was a mad rush, involving a lot of mess, losing everything I needed, and desperately trying, (and failing) to clean up my cabin before inspection, which was right after breakfast.

I was generally the one who had the messiest cabin during inspection.

I finally was dressed in jeans and an orange Camp Half-Blood shirt, with my h/c hair pulled away from my face. Then, I ran to the dining pavilion.

I was a daughter of Demeter, the plant goddess. Yeah, I'm sure most of you are thinking: Oh, wow, plants... But seriously, it's kinda cool. I do have some pretty sweet powers. I can grow any plants from practically nothing, control plants and stuff, and sense things in the earth. I can even use plants to travel instantly from one place to another, by just hopping through the trees, or seeds, or flowers, or weeds, or . . . whatever.

I slipped into my seat next to Katie Gardner, my elder sister. She was the counsellor for Cabin Demeter. Katie was super nice, but she was always busy at the moment, mostly hanging out with her new boyfriend, Travis Stoll, Son of Hermes.

"You slept in again," Katie whispered to me, trying, and failing epically, to hide her laughter. "We thought it was best not to try and wake you."

That was probably smart. If someone woke me up, they'd most likely leave that situation with a black eye and seeds growing in their skin. I can be fairly lethal when I want to be.

"I stated up too late again last night," I said back, my voice also low. I didn't like when other kids were listening in on my conversations, especially those Hermes kids.

"Doing what?" Katie smirked, like she knew something I didn't.

"Um..." What was I doing? Hanging out with my best friend of course. Who also happened to be the cutest and most popular guy at camp. The only current Son of Posiedon. Percy Jackson.

"I was with Percy, at the beach. We were finding lost starfish and chucking them back in the water..." My voice faltered. I wasn't good at lying. 'At the beach' was accurate. We'd been laying on a picnic blanket, watching the stars, and just talking about everything and anything, for hours. We did that almost every night. It was the best feeling in the world, just being with him.

"Uh huh." Katie turned back to her food. "He likes you, y/n, I'm sure of it. Just as much as you like him, I bet."

"Katie!" I hissed, my face beet red, but the words pleased me. I'd had a crush on Percy Jackson since the first day he arrived at Camp Half-Blood, tired and bruised and scratched from fighting the Minotaur. He'd limped into camp, stole my heart, and became the coolest guy at camp within a month.

And yes, I was in love with him. We'd been best friends for years, and we hung out all the time. How could I possibly not fall for him, with his stupid trouble-maker grin, his dark, messy hair, his sparkling sea-green baby-seal eyes, and his voice. He was, at least in my eyes, perfect.

***

Later, I was practicing my sword-fighting in the arena, hacking arms and legs and heads off the stuffed straw dummies. I'd never been the best fighter, but I felt like I was getting the hang of my sword.

"Are you a child of Hermes?" a joking voice rang out from behind me. I spun around, and came face to face with one of the Hephestus kids. Leo Valdez, maybe?

I blew my hair out of my face, breathing hard. "Um, no? Demeter, actually. Why?"

The boy, Leo, cracked a grin. "Because you stole my heart."

I blinked, not sure what to say. I never really spoke to any of the kids from Hephestus cabin, especially not this one.

"Uh, okay... thanks, I guess?"

Leo grinned again, then ran off without saying anything else. Okay... that was pretty weird.

I decided to go for a walk, to cool down and to stretch my legs a bit, so I headed for the basketball courts, where a bunch of kids were playing a really aggressive game.

I plopped down on the grass a few meters back from the courts, and watched the game. It looked like Ares and Apollo (a strange match), against Athena, Dionysus, and a couple other kids, like Jason Grace, Nico Di Angelo, and Percy.

I found myself watching Percy more than the other players, but snapped my eyes away from him once I realised. I didn't want anyone seeing me staring at my best friend.

After a while, the players called for a break, and Jason Grace approached me. "Oh, hey (Y/N)," he smiled at me, sitting beside me and taking a swig of water from a drink bottle.

"Hey," I said back. Again, I was surprised at why Jason was talking to me. He didn't usually. Demeter kids were looked over quite a bit, and Jason was one of the big shots - a child of Zeus. Of course, Percy was a son of Posiedon, and he talked to me, but that was different. I'd known Percy for years, even before we came here at twelve years old. I'd know him since he was seven.

"Are you a child of Hades?" Jason asked suddenly.

I frowned at him. "No. Demeter, actually. Why does everyone keep-?"

I was cut off by Jason grinning and saying: "Because I'm dying to call you mine."

I swallowed. "Um..."

Jason got up and walked away, heading back to his game. I was totally confused, so I stood up, brushed off my jean shorts, and decided to go to the strawberry fields, where I usually spent most of my time, among the plants. Plants always calmed me down, and this random guys telling me pick-up lines were a little stressful. I wasn't the kind of girl who normally got guys, anyway.

After a few minutes of walking up and down the strawberry aisles, I ran into Nico di Angelo. Nico wasn't usually the sort of person you ran into in the strawberry fields, so I was surprised.

"Oh, hi, Nico," I said cheerily, waving at him. Nico and I were actually pretty good friends, so I was glad to see him. We got along surprisingly well, considering our parents' rivalry. You know, the whole Persephone getting kidnapped thing.

"Are you a child of Hephestus?" Nico stammered, blushing with embarrassment.

At this point, I was utterly confused.

"No!" I said, frowning. "I'm a daughter of Demeter, and I know you know that, Nico. And why does everyone keep trying these stupid pick-up lines on me? Besides... you like guys, don't you?"

"Well, um..." Nico shrugged and ran off, leaving me in a state of helpless confusion.

I sank to my knees in the soft grass, picking at it with my fingers. "What's happening with me today?" I wondered aloud.

"Hey, are you Aphrodite?" a familiar voice asked. "Because you're divinely gorgeous."

I glanced up, meeting the sea-green eyes of my best friend. "Percy?" I asked. "You too? What's-?"

Percy stopped me, sitting down cross-legged beside me. "Hey, I've- I've liked you for ages, but I never told you because I was scared you'd not feel the same and so we'd lose our awesome friendship, but the guys found out and so they were trying to make me jealous enough to admit me feelings today, by trying out pick-up lines on you, so, well, I- I decided that I should just tell you.”

I sucked in a breath. "Oh my gods," I managed. "You stupid son of Posiedon."

"What?" Percy chuckled nervously.

"Are you a child of the Sea God?" I asked softly. "Because I'm drowning in your beautiful eyes."

Gathering all my courage, I leaned forward and pressed my mouth against Percy's, feeling him smile against my lips, and I couldn't have wished for anything more.

[enkas-illusion]

(Not) Just Another Crush - Part 1/2

Fandom / Pairing: Attack On Titan / Eren x f!reader

Rating: NSFW/Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Content Warning: Fluff, fluff, A LOT of fluff, slow burn, kissing, language, slight make out, emotional edging of sorts (it will make sense)

Chapter Summary: Instead of pining over the mystery man at your gym from a distance, you decide to take matters into your own hands and talk to the guy. And you find out that Eren Jaeger, as it turns out, is akin to a man written by a woman.

Author's notes:  Hello, here’s a meet-cute type of thing for gym bro Eren cause ~I need a big boy, gimme a big boy, gimme a big big boy~; this is a 2-part story so the chapters are super lengthy. Hope you enjoy it – feel free to like, reblog or comment! Thank you for reading! 

-Eren’s Birdie

Song Dedication: Crush by Cigarettes After Sex

Part 1 | Part 2

To the unassuming eyes, it may look like just two people interacting – but to the ones who knew, you and the gym trainer, it was fate intervening to give you this opportunity!

“Bruh, if you don't go talk to him now…” you hear Porco, the trainer's voice as he nudges you in your crush's direction.

As you walk up to your crush you think about how stupid this idea seems. The plan was to ask him to alternate sets with you on seated rows since the gym was way too crowded. 

Honestly, the move was a bit too obvious in your opinion. But you'd set your mind to it – Today is the day you finally talk to your crush!

It had been quite some time since you'd been secretly simping over this guy so what's the harm? All the other equipment being occupied was the perfect excuse, if you had to look for one, to finally talk to him.

Since you’re usually reserved, you don’t talk to anyone at the gym. You've always been this way – doing your own thing while blasting music in your earphones and going home without ever lifting your head up.

But ever since you saw him about a month ago, your eyes had been wandering around to find him the minute you'd enter the gym, stealing glimpses whenever you could without being creepy about it. 

You decided it was just some stupid crush only because the man was ridiculously hot so it'll fade away eventually. But man, were you wrong.

When he didn't show up to the gym the whole week last week, you rushed to Porco, who's always hanging around to enquire – any semblance of subtlety thrown out the window. 

It wasn't like you were planning to make a move (god knows the only reason you didn't talk much at the gym was to avoid the occasional creeps that would try talking you up).... but the fact that it felt like a missed chance with the mystery guy left an itch and a curiosity to know more.

“...you know the one who's always wearing anime t-shirts? Long, black haired pretty dude?” You'd asked, hoping Porco would recognize your crush from your half-assed description.

When Porco was seemingly confused, you'd pestered further, “The one who always has his hair tied in a messy bun but still looks gorgeous? Nothing? Ummm- The emo dude with the perfect proportions!”

“OH! Are you talking about Eren? I can’t quite remember his last name but pretty sure you’re talking about Eren. Yeah… he's a regular– has been here for a year now.”

“How come I only saw him a month ago?”

“I think he recently switched timings to fit his work schedule or something. Maybe he shifted back to the mornings.”

Your heart sinks at the information… there goes your imaginary chance with Eren.

Eren.

You memorise his name anyway… hoping that maybe the gods would be generous enough to give you a chance to talk to him.

And they do. He shows up over the weekend and you secretly cheer that he's back during your schedule. However, another month passes by as you keep on trying to find the ‘perfect’ opportunity to talk to him. 

Which brings you to the present moment, as you walk towards him and wait at a distance while he finishes his reps. He slows down his movements nonetheless when your eyes meet, and before you can stop yourself, you wave at him before abruptly putting your hand down. 

Eren stops his movements and pulls his headphones back, his serious face breaking into a soft smile, “Hii…?”

“Hey, sorry to interrupt but would you mind alternating sets with me? I’ve been waiting for about 15 minutes…” you point at the other equipments flocked by people, “Totally cool if you can’t tho-”

“Okay,” he smiles as he does five more reps before getting up and wiping the sweat off the seat.

“Thank you,” you say as you go to adjust the weights. Your jaw almost drops when you see it's set to 80kgs. You almost want to laugh as you set it back to 15kgs.

‘Dude’s a beast, don’t compare! Upper body never was your best muscle group,’ you think to yourself. You resume your music quickly and begin your set. When you’re done, you get up to wipe the seat as well as the handlebars of the machine with your towel.

You hear a snort from behind and when you turn to look at Eren and see him give you a smile that has you weak in your knees.

“What?” you ask confused.

“Wiping the handles as well? Cute,” he answers. He can’t help but find this action considerate – Most people don’t even bother wiping the patch formed by their sweaty ass cheeks.

Even if his compliment makes you blush, you try hard to not let it show. You simply move away to signal him to the seat. He bends down to readjust the weights.

“No way you’re gonna go above 80!?” you gasp as you see him push it to 100kgs.

“The last one is always till failure,” he states matter-of-factly.

“Oh... that’s crazy, I could never. I’ve got noodle arms,” you joke.

“Didn’t you get your first full pull up a few days ago?” he asks. 

PAUSE. He’s noticed you before???

As if instantly reading your mind, he adds, “I saw you cheering and clapping your hands with Porco when you did it.”

“Oh that… sorry, I try not to bother anyone much usually,” you feel the heat rise to your cheeks out of embarrassment.

“I know, don’t be sorry, it’s a good thing to celebrate your PR… besides, Reiner has been teasing me about not making any progress lately so I need to step up my game for sure,” he laughs to himself as he gets into position.

“Reiner?” 

“That’s the huge blonde who I usually come with,” he explains. You simply nod and don’t speak further, letting him begin his set. He starts well but by the end you can tell that Eren is struggling a bit as soft cusses leave his lips, face scrunching and chest heaving as he steadies his breathing.

“Come on… 2 more.” you cheer, causing him to grunt as he finishes his set. Your eyebrows raise in surprise when you see him wipe the handles along with the seat, imitating your habit.

“Thank you.” you blush as you bend down to readjust the weights to 25kgs, “So, you’re done?”

“Yeah…” he speaks, taking small sips of water from his bottle, “I’ll see you around?” 

You nod and he smiles at you as he turns to leave, but quickly turns back again, “Shit! Sorry… What's your name?”

The blush grows even further at his question as you tell him your name and ask, “What about you?”

“I’m Eren… Eren Jaeger.”

Jaeger. Eren Jaeger.

You memorise his full name and you both say your goodbyes as you get back to your workout. Eren left way before you did, leaving no room for further conversations to occur. 

This interaction hadn’t gone unnoticed by Porco, who rushed to your side when you were stretching, “Soooo, am I your cupid yet?”

“Don’t get your hopes up… we’ll have small talks whenever we see each other at best. Nothing’s going to happen!” you lie with a straight face, but deep down you were dying to check him out on Instagram once you were in the comfort of your home.

Your crush was oh so kind to spare you the stalking when you see your phone light up with a notification later at night.

Eren_j started following you.

You almost jump up out of your bed but steady yourself to call your best friend, Annie, before you even get to checking his account.

“Guess who just followed me on ig?” you giggle when she picks up the call.

“Huh?”

“Guess. Who. Followed. Me!” you repeat.

“Darling… I need context,” she replies dryly.

“Eren… Eren followed me… the gym crush!” you squeal, killing the suspense since you knew it was too late at night for her to indulge in your guessing game.

“Waitttttt… the supposedly hot emo guy who wears anime t-shirts?” you can hear her surprising tone, “you go girl– thought you were too much of a puss-”

“Annie!” you cut her off, “What do I do? Should I text him first or just follow back?”

“NO! Always let the guy text first,” she proclaims.

“Ugh… but okay, I hear you… wouldn’t want to seem like a simp after keeping my cool for so long,” you answer back as you put her on speaker to follow him back. You see the Requested icon turn to Following within seconds.

“ANN! He accepted already,” you almost yell.

“Welp, that was fast,” she chuckles.

“Sooo,” you begin in a sweet sing-song voice, “I’m gonna go stalk his profil-”

“Yeah, alright… have a good night babe.” you hear a dramatic mwah from her. You chuckle as you bid her good night before hanging up.

As you skim through his profile, you can’t help but feel giddy at the fact that this guy actually seems to have a personality, unlike some gym bros who make ‘muscle’ their entire personality.

When you’re going through his story highlights, you see his username pop up at the top of your screen, making your heart race faster. He had replied to your story. You rush to check on your profile what you’d posted, feeling your brain malfunction as you fear it being something embarrassing and goofy.

Phew. It was just a post-workout selfie showing off your wet, sweaty t-shirt.

You open his text.

Eren_j:

Guess u got a good workout in after I left afterall.

Feeling a bit bold, you text back.

I did… would’ve been a lot more fun with you tho.

And you almost want to throw your phone away in anticipation as you see the typing icon.

Eren_j:

Be careful what you wish for. I’ve been told im a strict/difficult gym partner.

I like me a challenge :)

Eren_j:

Is that so? Guess i gotta make it particularly hard for u :)))

I’m a tough girl Eren… i think i can take it.

You swing your feet as you roll around on the bed. If you ever showed this to Annie, she’d probably call it ‘fucking cringe but cute nonetheless’. 

As the double entendre texts died down, seamless conversations kept you hooked. He was putting in equal amounts of effort to keep the conversation alive. You don’t exactly remember how you fell asleep but you remember talking to him for about two hours or so. 

And that’s how you became gym buddies. As another month had passed by, you got to know him as a friend. You want to cuss yourself since your crush has only increased tenfold ever since you’ve gotten to know him personally. 

You realise just how deceiving his looks are – on the outside, he’s this big, intimidating dude but on the inside he’s got the golden retriever energy. Eren is the perfect mix of what you’d call a serious yet laid back/chill guy.

He’s thoughtful, remembers tiny details about you, sends you songs whenever he finds one he thinks you’d like and memes that remind him of you and is a self proclaimed hopeless romantic. You could go on and on about Eren and it would still not be enough – needless to say, you were absolutely gone for him, the kind that they describe as being totally head-over-heels in movies.

And it doesn’t help that a few nights ago, when the gym was basically empty, you two almost kissed. Standing in the corridor, as you were saying your goodbyes, it felt as if he was about to lean in to kiss you before being interrupted by someone walking out the changing room, making you flee the scene, akin to a criminal being caught.

But then again, you weren’t really sure if it was just your delusion overriding the tiny bit of logic left in your romance-ridden brain.

~~~

“Eren… I can’t– fuck,” you groan as your hands shake.

“You got it, come on. You’re doing so good. One more then we’re done. Promise,” you hear his voice as his grip on your waist tightens. 

Eren supports your bodyweight as he pushes you up so that your chin is touching the pull up bar. The first few were bearable but by your 7th pull up, it’s more like he’s working his biceps rather than you working your back.

With shaky hands, you try to control your movement as you come down but your arms almost give in, causing you to slightly stumble as you drop to your feet with a light thud. His grip on your waist tightens to steady you before letting go gently.

Ever since the almost kiss, you’d been extra aware of his touches. So even his guiding touches, without any ulterior motives, have been making you feel some type of way.

You slouch slightly as you sit against a wall in the corner, sipping your water. You close your eyes to calm your breathing as you feel your arms burn. You groan as you realise you’re going to be super sore tomorrow morning.

“Good job bub,” he snickers. You open your eyes to see him bend down in front of you to pat your head lightly.

“I give up… you win, you are a ruthless gym partner.”

“Aww… I'm flattered,” he jokes further.

You roll your eyes as you swat his hand away from your head.

“Let me make it up to you, I’ll give you a massage. How about that?” he adds jokingly, though you know he wouldn’t mind actually giving you one if you ask him nicely.

“You better! I’m not going to be able to make dinner tonight!” you reply as you hold your arms out limply in front of him.

“Then don’t. Let me make you dinner,” he says, taking the opportunity.

“For real?” you ask, taken by surprise by his sudden yet tempting offer.

“Yeah? Got any plans for tonight?”

“No… let’s do it. I'm in,” you agree before demanding, “but, I want that massage as well.”

“Done… my massages can put those Thai spas to shame,” he boasts.

“Are you overselling yourself Jaeger?” you tease him, “it’s often disappointing when reality doesn’t match the hype.”

“You’re gonna eat your words later… I’ve been told I’ve got magic fingers.” he retorts, his cocky smirk wider than ever. You roll your eyes as you grab your things before getting up. 

“That’s for me to decide,” you poke him further, “... the food better be worth the 7 pull ups.”

Surprisingly he doesn’t have a witty comeback in his arsenal this time. You simply hear a low chuckle escape his lips and it’s somehow more mischievous than whatever clever words he would’ve spoken otherwise.

You’d never been to his place before, meaning it took a few minutes for your brain to register that you were going to Eren fucking Jaeger’s place! In the changing room, you freshen up as much as you can to try to not look like a sweaty mess. You change into a pair of jeans and a jumper, slinging the gym bag over your shoulder before giving yourself one last look in the mirror and walking out to meet him near the entrance of the gym.

As you walk out, you see him waiting for you on his bike, securing the helmet on his head. He’s changed into a pair of loose jeans and a denim jacket over his t-shirt. Even when you’d seen his ride for the first time, Eren being a biker never surprised you since it felt very on-brand for him. 

Imagine him picking you up for a date, waiting on his bike with a bouquet of tulips in hand. Ehe. 

You snap out of your daydream when he holds out the other helmet in front of you. You lean your head down when he motions you to do so and he puts the helmet on you.

“Where did the second one come from?” you wonder out loud.

“I had planned to take you home tonight from the start,” he winks.

You snort as you slide the visor of his helmet down his face. You hear his laugh as he adds, “Porco let me borrow his, apparently he keeps an extra one in the cabin for god-knows-what.”

“I guess I really might need to call Porco a cupi–” you freeze midway.

“Hmm?” 

“A good trainer.” you correct yourself, and you’re pretty sure it was far from convincing but Eren decides not to tease you about it. You’re 99.99% certain he heard it – maybe he just wants to save you the embarrassment, you think to yourself.

You hop onto his bike and hesitantly rest your hands on his sides not wanting to seem awkward by straight up hugging him from behind. However, he straightens his back as he grabs the top of your hands, pulling them to the front to wrap them around his waist. You smile to yourself as you rest your cheek on his back and hug your arms around him steadily.

The ride back to his place is barely 10 minutes long. You miss being so close to him as soon as you get off the bike in the parking lot. He parks and guides you to his apartment holding your wrist gently. It’s not a complete holding-hands-fingers-intertwined but that has never stopped you from overanalyzing things, has it?

You take in your surroundings when you enter the apartment and it doesn’t stand out much. It looks like any normal dude’s apartment, except it’s cleaner – probably more than your own.

“Wow, your apartment is clean,” you comment.

“You’re hurting me babe. Did you expect me to live like a savage just cause I’m a guy.”

“No, no… I’m sorry it came out wrong–” you try to clarify but he interrupts.

“Kidding! I know it’s cleaner than usual. I live with Reiner and Levi… while Reiner and I aren’t really shabby, Levi really can’t tolerate a dirty house,” Eren explains.

“Oh, that must be exhausting, no?”

“Not really. That was Levi’s one condition when Reiner and I went to him in search of a third flatmate so we agreed.”

“Ah, makes sense. Are they here?” you ask, curiously as you hang your bag near the coat rack and take off your shoes. Eren returns to your side, having locked the door and keeping all his things in their designated places. 

“Nah. Reiner’s out of town on a work trip for like two weeks and Levi’s gone home for a few days as well,” he answers as he shrugs off his jacket, folding it before placing it on the side table.

You can’t help but find it cute that he keeps the place neat so diligently, being considerate of others… but then again, you’ve been finding all of Eren’s actions cute lately.

“... so it’s just us here tonight.” he says flirtatiously.

“Good thing, I’d hate to share food now… I’m hungry,” you say, dodging it. Usually, you’d flirt back but the two of you being alone at his place suddenly feels so real – anything could happen. You chicken out – there may be a possibility that he likes you back but there could ALSO be a possibility of him only liking you as a friend.

“‘Ight, what would you like to have?” he asks as you follow him to the kitchen. 

“Surprise me… nothing too fancy though.” 

“Phew… I was actually hoping for that answer since I’d prepared the dough for burger patties,” he admits sheepishly as he washes his hand and puts on the apron. You lean against the opposite counter to let him cook in peace without any hindrance. 

“Do you want my hel-”

“OH– just a min,” he interrupts you as he hurries out of the kitchen. You blink in confusion as you follow him out to check on the guy and find him connecting his phone to the speaker.

A soft song plays through the speaker loudly and he walks towards you as if just now he’s truly ready to take on kitchen duties. 

“It’s my cooking playlist,” he smiles.

He’s so fucking cute. For fucks sake!

When you ask him again if he wants your help, he declines saying ‘the only thing you need to do tonight is compliment my amazing skills.’

So you watch him work while chatting away about random things. It doesn’t take long for him to prepare the patties and heat the buns, adding copious amounts of veggies with melting cheese on top of it. He presents it with a ‘Tada!’ and you clap at his presentation with a dramatic ‘Bravo!’

When you taste the first bite, you almost moan at how delicious it is. The burger is huge, juicy and has the right balance of crispy and soft with spicy, sweet and sour. You close your eyes, delving into the heavenly taste.

You open your eyes to see Eren devouring his own burger, unfazed by the masterpiece that he’d created as if it were something ordinary to him.

“Eren!” you squeal, “if this is what I get to eat after, I might just do a hundred pull-ups from tomorrow.”

Eren chuckles at this, licking the cheesy sauce that had trickled down his fingers, “Told ya I only brag when I know I’m good.”

“I’m serious! This is too good,” you add, taking another bite. 

“I know… thank you,” Eren smiles, clearly amused at the way you’re enjoying his burger. And in that moment, a thought crosses his mind – he’d make you dinner every night if it meant that he got to be the reason for you to feel such bliss.

Neither of you talk much till you finish eating. Your reason being wanting to relish in the taste with full concentration and Eren’s reason being not wanting to disturb your peace.

When you’re done, you clear out the plates and Eren cleans the table. As you’re walking out of the kitchen, you hear a familiar tune playing when he resumes the songs on his playlist.

You recognize it – Dope Lovers by DPR IAN.

“I love this song!” you exclaim as you walk towards him. The tension you’d felt at the beginner has almost dissipated and feeling a little courageous, you extend an arm out to him to dance.

He tosses his phone on the sofa before taking your hand to pull you closer to him. You sway your body to the rhythm as you mumble some of the lyrics.

“Is it the art or the artist that you like?” he teases.

“Well, you can’t deny that he isn’t hot… There’s something about DPR Ian, he’s soooo–” you pause to think about the right word to use before concluding, “– babygurl.”

“Babygurl?” Eren laughs as he rests his arms at your hips, “What does that even mean?”

“It’s like daddy –  it’s a state of mind,” you joke but then you purse your lips as you really think about how to explain this endearing slang to Eren, “Babygurl is when a man is so comfortable in his masculinity that he isn't scared of embracing his soft side and being gentle. A man who knows that kindness is strength. Someone who looks so tough but is far from toxic. A man who’s a gentleman in the true sense of the word… does that make sense?”

“Hmm, I think so…” he nods, “Who else is babygurl?”

“You are, Eren,” you smile and lift your hands up to move to his neck but stop when you feel a weird stiffness in your shoulders, “ow, it’s sore already.”

“Okay, let’s give you that massage!” he declares with a booming laugh, taking your hands in his and guiding you to the sofa. He sits you down with your back facing him and gently taps near your lower back to signal you to sit up straight.

“Relax your shoulders,” you hear him speak softly as his hands move up to your shoulders but he pauses his movement. He lifts his hands to comb his fingers through your locks and you jerk slightly when his fingers touch your neck in the process.

“Eren, what are you doin-” you giggle as you turn your head to look at him. 

“Shh, stay still,” he murmurs, knitting his eyebrows in concentration. His hair falls down, framing his face as he takes out his hair tie. You turn to look to the front as he runs his fingers to gather all your loose strands together once again. You feel him gently pull at your hair as he secures it with his hair tie.

“You know, you could’ve just asked for mine. It’s in my bag,” you chuckle.

“Too lazy,” he replies as his hands begin to massage your back gently. He alternates between pressing his thumbs down the length of your spine and pressing his palms flat to cover the entire area, sliding his hands down in slow pressured movements. You slouch in his touch and his hands move up to your shoulder blades to massage the area in circular motion.

“Mmm, Eren– that feels so good,” you breathe out, skin feeling like wax that could melt into his hands at any moment. You’re certain you’d fall asleep in a few minutes if he continued doing this any longer.

Eren changes his movement to bring up his fingertips to your nape, dragging them gently over the expanse of your neck, his fingers dancing over your skin as he dips them under the collar to trace your skin. This causes you to let out an involuntary whimper and your cheeks heat up in embarrassment when his touch comes to a halt.

You’re pretty sure he can see the goosebumps pricking on the surface of your skin and you mumble a soft ‘sorry’ as you create some space between to turn around to face him completely. Your eyes meet and you’re smiling at him awkwardly but he has a poker face. 

He gets up abruptly, breaking eye contact as he hurries towards the kitchen. You look at him, confused and are about to ask him why he was acting that way but he speaks up before you do.

“Want anything to drink? Something sweet for dessert?”

“Umm… okay,” you mutter, still confused.

“Anything specific?” he enquires.

“I wouldn’t mind a cup of hot coffee,” you request, smiling as you abandon your previous thought.

“Coffee? At night?” he counters, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, that’s my talent. I can sleep like a baby no matter how strong the coffee is.”

“Hmmm… Would you like to try the Eren Jaeger Special where I mix loads of chocolate with coffee and cream?”

“So, basically a mocha?” you press your lips together to keep yourself from laughing.

“Yes or no?” he says with narrowed eyes.

“Yes,” you laugh and he rolls his eyes as he turns around, disappearing into the kitchen.

You’re scrolling through your phone when you hear his approaching footsteps after a few minutes. You close your phone as you turn your head to look up at him as he walks towards you with two steaming mugs in hand.

As soon as he places one of the mugs on the table, you pick it up instantly. He sits down in front of you to clink your mugs together with a ‘cheers’. You both take tiny sips together and your eyes widen at the frothy sweet and bitter taste. 

“If you get me addicted, you’ll have to be the one to meet the demands too, just sayinggg…'' you blow over the surface and take another sip.

“Yes ma’am, I’d gladly oblige to all of your demands,” he winks before taking another sip from his mug. You try to hide your growing smile with your mug. For the rest of the conversation you try to change the subject from the two of you to literally anything else you can find – and Eren being the great conversationalist that he is, is talking about each topic just as enthusiastically.

“Aww man, the last of the coffee’s gone cold.” you swirl the liquid in the mug.

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Eren fake yells, already having finished his. You raise one fist up as you gulp the last of your coffee down in one go and slam the mug down on the cushion. Feeling the frothy stache over your upper lip, you lick it off, laughing along with him.

“There’s still some left…” Eren mumbles, pointing at his own mouth to show the spot. Before you have a chance to wipe it, he swipes his thumb over the corner of your lips before bringing it to his lips to lick it off. It’s such a simple act yet it has the butterflies in your stomach going rampant.

“Hey, that was mine,” you try to feign offence but it comes out more desperate than you’d intended as you stare at his lips a little too longer than friends are supposed to. 

He cups your face with both his hands as his gaze deepens before his eyes move down to your lips. Your breath hitches as you see him instinctively wet his lips. He leans in to move closer till your faces are just inches away.

“Then take it back agai–” he’s rudely interrupted by the sound of the front door opening with a loud thud. You pull back abruptly to create some space between the two of you. You see Eren’s jaw clench as he closes his eyes briefly in an attempt to keep his cool.

“REINER MY BROTHER– oh,” you see a man enter the living room with a large backpack.

“Jean.” Eren says, giving him a tight lipped smile.

“Eren. Where’s Reiner?” Jean asks as he looks at the two of you.

“Did he not tell you that he wasn’t gonna be at home for a while?” Eren answers, and you’re almost surprised at how cold his tone is.

“Yes? But I figured he'd leave after seeing me?” Jean retorts.

“And why would he do that?” Eren asks just as coldly.

“Since he said I was welcome to stay in his room while I was in town? Even told me to use the key y'all keep in the space behind the nameplate,” the man explains.

“Great! It's amazing how my roommate fails to tell me about shit like this.” Eren mutters but smiles at the guy nonetheless, “His room is unlocked… feel free to make yourself at home I guess.”

“Thanks. Have fun, I guess,” Jean half salutes Eren, giving you both a smug smile, feeling the satisfaction of having cockblocked his friendly foe. He leaves you two alone, making his way to Reiner’s room. Once you watch him disappear, you turn to check your phone for the time.

This time it was real! You’re not delusional, he really was about to kiss you!

You silence the voice in your head. You don’t know how to feel about the fact that Eren seemingly likes you but he can’t seem to make a move or at least declare his feelings with certainty. And there’s no way in hell you’d confess first since it’s pretty evident you like him, you’ve dropped enough hints over a month’s time – you want him to be the one to do it first.

“It’s late, I better get going,” you make an excuse as you stand up, gathering your things as you prepare to leave. Your cheeks feel hot and you give him a small smile, feeling a bit too flustered to carry on a conversation at this point.

“Let me drop you home,” he offers quickly as he stands up with you.

“My apartment isn’t far from here.”

“It's late,” he adds. You consider it and nod your head. He smiles as he grabs his keys along with his own two helmets this time.

The ride home is quick so neither of you bother with small talk. Once he parks in the parking lot of your apartment building, he tilts his bike to make it easier for you to get off. He gets off the bike, gently taking your helmet off and placing it on the bike. As you fix your hair, he takes his helmet off as well, placing it next to yours.

You slightly shuffle on your feet as you prepare to say your goodbyes. When he turns back to look at you, you smile earnestly. 

“I had a fun time tonight… despite you being a meanie at the gym.” you try to lighten up the tension.

“Only for you bub,” he jokes back, making finger-hearts at you.

“Good night, Eren.” you laugh as you wave at him and turn to walk away. You barely take a step when you hear him say your name.

“Hmm?” you turn around to look at him again. He doesn’t speak but takes one long stride to close the distance between you, wrapping his hands around your waist. As if on instinct, you drop your bag to the ground and place your hands on his shoulders, looking up at him as your breath hitches in your throat again.

He brings his left hand up to your cheek, dipping his head down to kiss your lips without any further delay. His wider frame envelopes yours as the hand on your cheek snakes back to hold your head in place as he deepens the kiss. You wrap both your hands around his neck, standing on your tippy toes for better access while his lower hand wraps around your waist even tighter.

When your lips finally part to catch your breaths, he looks you in the eye, smiling contently. Your legs feel giddy from the high you’re experiencing and you’re glad he’s still holding you flush against his body.

“I’d been dying to do that ever since I laid my eyes on you… figured it’d be pretty stupid of me to let the opportunity go twice in a row,” he confesses, dipping his head down again to kiss you once again.

You’re surprised, your brain reeling at the information but you close your eyes nonetheless, getting lost in the feeling of his lips moving against yours.

“Yeah, it would’ve been pretty stupid,” you smile when he pulls back. You pull him down by the collar to give him a kiss on his cheek, “Thank you for not wasting any more chances.”

You run your hands through his loose strands and he hums as he closes his eyes. You pull him down for another deep kiss. His tongue invades your mouth and he squeezes your ass as he pulls your body further closer to his. When you feel his boner from under his clothing, it causes you to moan into the kiss.

Your hands move down his sides, lowering further but he stops your movement with his own hands holding your wrists firmly. He pulls away from the kiss, eyes still closed as he rests his forehead against yours. His hot breath fans your face as he speaks, “It’s taking everything in me to not come up to your place to fuck you right now.”

“Then do it,” you mewl desperately as you kiss him again. He smiles into the kiss but breaks it once again to speak, “No, I wanna do this right. Let me take you out on a real date first… tomorrow evening?”

You feel your cheeks burn up as you bite your bottom lip to contain the grin threatening to give away your excitement as you nod. You stand on your toes once again to give him a quick peck. He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, enveloping you into a comforting hug.

“Take this with you,” he mumbles as he goes to grab a helmet. He leans down to grab your bag from the floor, handing both the items to you.

“Good night Eren,” you smile. He cups your face with both his hands and leans down to kiss you again – it’s brief but passionate.

“Good night baby,” he smiles as he lightly smacks your ass, earning a yelp from you. Before you can scold him, he gives you a hasty kiss before making his way to his bike. You walk to the elevator and press the button, turning to look back at him as he secures his helmet.

He starts the bike but waits till he sees you enter the elevator. Just as the door closes, you catch a glimpse of him leaving. You lean back against the railing, covering your face with your hands, not really believing what had just occurred. 

The man you’d been pining over for months had been crushing over you all along too. 

Eren Jaeger never was just another unrequited crush – and come tomorrow, he’s going to mean a lot more than just a friend.

[dalamjisung]

as it was ✤ lee felix

word count: 4956

genre: angst, fluff

pairing: reader x lee felix

description: some people claim that it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. you and felix have known each other ever since middle school and if there is one thing he really loves about you... it is the fact that you refuse to lose.

part of Summertime's Special Collab with @catiuskaa | series masterlist here

It’s hard, losing what you once had and loved. 

You think it’s the acceptance part that hurts the most. It’s the speeches and the fact that they are coming from anyone and everyone, but not the one person you want to hear it from. It’s the chin ups and you got this that makes you cringe. It’s the you’ll get through this, as if you’re doing it alone, and, really, you haven’t been alone since him. 

God, you hate losing what you once had and loved, but above all, you hate losing in general. You hate change. You hate having to accept something just because it happened, as if the randomness and the messiness of the world around you has the right to dictate your fate without you being able to get a single word in. No. No this is not how it works, you refuse to let this be how it works. 

You met Felix when you were in middle school, but your relationship only starts when you reach high school. You’re both fifteen and fumbly. It feels like a natural evolution from the friendship you two started ages ago, something all too natural for it to be the end all, be all of teenage-hood. It wasn’t until your first kiss, all stiff hands and awkward movements, that it dawned on you: Felix was your boyfriend. And you, in turn, were his girlfriend. It was a rush like no other, repeating that to yourself, and you still remember how you barely slept that night, bright eyed and wide smiles. You giggled and kicked your feet in the air, lips still tingling from the way his pressed against it, and it took you hours to stop remembering his face, all freckles and blushes, and how proud he looked.

People kept saying that college would be the hardest part. They said that you would be tested then, with new people and new situations. Maybe even new selves, if you were lucky enough to have one of those life-changing experiences that your parents always talked about with a far away look of nostalgia and longing for what once was. Truth be told, nothing really changed. You two still had friends, still went to parties, still graduated in different majors, and still, through it all, walked side by side, not wavering in your love for even a second. Because that was who you and Felix were: each other’s constants. 

So why is it that now, when you two are closer than you’ve ever been, when you live together and share a routine… why is that now is the moment when you can feel him slipping through your finger? 

Why now? 

What changed? 

Why did it change? 

Too many questions make your brain dizzy, and for what feels like the hundredth time just that month, you wake up with a headache. The space next to you is empty and when your hand glides over the made side of the bed, it’s already cold and too perfectly fixed in place– if you hadn’t woke up when Felix got home last night, you would have wondered if he had come home at all. With a sigh, you get up and get ready for work. It’s all a part of this new routine you created, one that is meant for two people but has been carried by only one. Something is missing, when you think about it. Obviously, Felix is missing, but it’s more than that. It’s more than just him standing next to you. It’s more than just his smile and his touches and his rough morning voice telling you to be careful to not stub your toe in the bedside table like you do every morning. It’s more than his wild hair and his fresh baked goods and his nagging about how much coffee you’re consuming. It’s… it’s just more. There is more, there is so much more, but you’re too tired to try and figure out what. Looking around the empty house, you frowned, overwhelmed with the sudden need to cry. You still remembered the day Felix came up to you, excitedly waving a newspaper listing in your face. 

“Babe, I swear it’s the perfect apartment– it’s our apartment!” 

You just laughed, grabbing it from his hand to take a closer look. “Sweetheart, this is like, miles away! It’s close to the beach! You just got a job four blocks away and I’m starting at the office downtown–““The bus stop is a block away and it takes a grand total of thirty minutes for us to get up to the centre,” He smiled, proud that he knew you were going to find something to pick on. “What else?” 

“Felix, have you even gone–“

“We have a visit scheduled in two days, and you can’t say you’re busy because you only start at your job next week!”

“Baby, I don’t know…” 

“And you never will until you see it! But Y/N, I mean it, this is our home.” 

There was something about the way he said it, the way his eyes twinkled with glee and his hand shook that goddamned piece of paper, that made you trust him. It made you trust him so much, in fact, that two days later, there you are, following a real state agent inside the apartment and listening to him rattle off some nonsense statistics about the ‘up and coming’ area. 

Felix had always been an excited person. Everything, to him, was a reason to smile, and you loved that about him. You loved that even through the worst times of your life, he was right there, smiling through it but never demanding you to smile, too. He didn’t impose his happiness and didn’t ignore your pain, he simply existed in what seemed to be eternal bliss. You knew better than to fall for this utopian trap, though, and you knew that when he cried, it was during his long showers, when the noise of the water hitting the tiles would cover the tiny hiccups that escaped him. You knew that he got upset and resentful when he felt ignored or left out and that instead of speaking out, he’d simply go silent for a day or two. You knew Felix, better than anyone ever did, and he couldn’t fool you, as much as he tried. 

This time there was no trick. He was truly happy. His smile reached his eyes and the freckles, peppered over his nose and cheeks, stretched with the way his cheeks pushed his eyes into the most adorable creases. “Baby, did you hear him? They have street parties and we could bring them brownies!” He gasped, coming closer to where you were crouched down checking the corners of the wood floor. “Y/N?”

“I heard him, sunshine,” You mumbled, eyes moving around the room with such careful precision that even the agent took a step back, gulping audibly at your sharp gaze. “That is very exciting. Let’s check the oven then, see if you can make those brownies to perfection.”

You hated to admit, but as hard as you tried, there was literally nothing wrong with the place. The fans worked perfectly, the walls had been newly painted, and both the kitchen and the bathroom had been renovated. It was something about how the last tenants destroyed the place before leaving and they had to redo everything. Besides it being a bit far away from your work, even the area seemed perfect– a bus stop thirty minutes away, two markets nearby, and an adorable high street just ten minutes north. And, of course, they had street parties and your wonderful boyfriend would be able to bake brownies and make friends.

It should’ve been the low, fixed price that drew you in. Should’ve been the offer of a rolling contract in such an incredible rent-controlled apartment or the fact that the neighbourhood was incredibly safe and family-oriented. Should’ve been the combination of all of the above, really, that sold you that freaking apartment.

But it wasn’t. 

It was Felix. 

It was the way he bounced in place as the agent slid a makeshift contract for you to go over.

It was the way he promised you that this was it– this was your home.

It was you both, waking up in that room, cooking breakfast in that kitchen, leaving to work through that door. 

“You don’t mind the commute?” He gasped when you signed your name in the dotted line, more surprised to not hear a peep of complaint from you than to see you actually signing the contract. You were the brain of you two, but you never actually told him no. You just made him consider all his options when he got into his tunnel vision of happiness. It was the perfect balance in the perfect relationship. 

And now, in the perfect apartment. 

Weeks after you both move in, he surprises you with a used car that quickly becomes a staple in your relationship. A car you two share. His job is the furthest away from the house, so Felix drives you to work and picks you up after. He is the one that buys the groceries, and preps dinner, and cleans on Sundays. He takes care of the home in a way that you can’t, but then, so do you. Your chores are the less pleasant ones, but are the ones you actually prefer. You take the trash out, and you clean the bathroom, and you fix the clogged pipes. You are better with your hands than your heart, but it works. You guys work. 

Or you guys worked. 

Throughout the day, it’s like you have a ball stuck in your throat. If you try to speak, or if you let your mind wander– and you do, you let it wander and it always wanders to him– you will start crying. The box of tissues next to your computer is almost empty and you are tired of pretending that ‘it’s just allergies.’ Allergy season is long gone and you know you are not fooling anyone. “Y/N?”

Your head snaps up to look at your co-worker, a girl that has been there since you started and has always been more than nice towards you. “Yeah?” You mumble, clearing your throat and attempting a smile. 

“Are you… are you okay? Work has been over for almost an hour but you’re still… here.”

You bite your tongue to stop the urge to bawl your eyes out. “I am waiting for my ride,” You chuckle a bit awkwardly. “So I thought I might as well get ahead with some of the things I need done by the end of the week.” 

“Ah. I see. Do… Do you want a ride home? I don’t mind, I brought my own car and–“

“Thank you, but it’s okay,” Interrupting her is the only way to make yourself feel less pitiful. Now that you know Felix is an hour late, you can’t help but think the worst, and that always makes you panic. “I uh, I have to make a call. See you Monday?”

She just waves you off before walking away. The noise of the door shutting behind her brings you back to life and you are launching yourself to your phone, knocking a picture frame you’ve had perched on your desk since day one. The rush to call Felix is real– he has never been this late before. Usually, you leave him a window of thirty minutes or so to get there; traffic could be a real bitch during rush hour and you know there is nothing he can do. But usually, he will text you. He will call you. Hell, he will send a fucking pigeon if he has to, but Felix would never leave you hanging in the wind. 

His voice on the other side of the call is the only thing that makes you breathe easier. “Y/N?”

“Felix! Oh my god, Lix, babe,” You gasped, hand over your heart as you fall back on your chair. “Love, where are you?! I was so worried, oh my god, I love you, never scare me like this ever again, I’m so serious!”

“What do you mean?” He sounds genuinely confused. “I’m at home.” 

“Home? Felix, why are you home?”

“Why wouldn’t I be home?” It’s the way he sounds genuinely confused that makes you explode. 

“Because you were supposed to pick me up, Felix! Like you do every fucking day!” You shout, eyes starting to tear up again and this time you do nothing to hold them back. You’re tired of holding back. 

“Oh. Oh shit, I forgot… Y/N, I forgot! I can come pick you up right now, I–“

“Don’t bother.” 

“No, no, I can come, you need a ride.”

You do need a ride. 

Technically, Felix is not wrong. 

Technically, Felix never wanted to hurt you. 

And yet, he has. Again and again and again, Felix has hurt you in ways you never thought he would. 

It’s not like you two never fight. Any couple, as good as they are, fight. It’s a need, even if it’s small and barely there; it’s what pushes a relationship forward when partners feel stuck and frustrated. When you fight with Felix, you tell him things that, otherwise, you just… wouldn’t. It’s not the best way to voice something out and having open conversations is always your preferred method of resolving conflict, but you don’t live in an ideal world and you are far from having an ideal relationship. But the truth of the matter is that ideal or not, this is your relationship and nothing, no matter what it is or how pressing it us, is more important than the beautiful balance you and Felix work so hard to keep. 

Or at least, used to work so hard to keep. 

As of late, you are just not sure anymore. From waking up early and leaving without saying goodbye to forgetting to pick you up, it just feels like that the more you let it go, the more you stay quiet and say nothing, the more you are simply letting Felix push you away. The worst part is that you simply don’t know why he’s pushing you away. You don’t know if it’s work keeping him busy, or if something is happening with his friends, or if it’s something entirely, but what you do know is that you’ve done nothing to create tension between you two and… and you know you can’t continue to do nothing to fix it. 

Stray tears silently fall down your cheeks when you hear the jingle of keys on the other side of the call. This is the most effort Felix has put into your relationship for the past few months and admitting that, even if to just yourself, breaks your heart in half. “I need–” But you pause. 

You don’t know what you need. 

There is an answer at the tip of your tongue– I need things to be as they were– but that’s not true. That’s not the right answer and you know; you know because it leaves a numb kind of pain in your chest, like someone is piling stones on your chest, daring you to take a deep breath and watch it all crumble. You’re so tired of walking on eggshells, so tired of being unsure of what to say when you know that there was a time in which you could say anything and his eyes would shine so bright with joy. 

“I need to sleep. I need to sleep it off and I need… I need you to stay home.”

“No, no, I can come pick you up, it’s no pro–“

“I know you can,” Your voice cuts through the phone so aggressively you need to take a deep breath. You had never dealt well with loss, and as much as you haven’t lost him yet, it surely feels like you are in the turbulent and painful process of it all. “But I need you to stay home. Do you understand? I need… I need space. I need, fuck Felix, I need… I need my best friend.” Whimpering, you hiccup, finally breaking the dam you’ve built  around your hurting heart all this time. There is no holding back anymore. “I need my best friend and I need my boyfriend and I need to understand, Lix, cause I don’t! I don’t understand and I don’t know what’s going on but I’m so nervous and anxious all the time, and I just need…” 

A sniffle. You hear a sniffle on the other side of the phone and you know that he’s crying. Felix has always been more emotional than you. He cries easily and he’s not embarrassed about it, not like you are. When Felix cries, you hug him, no matter what made him cry, no matter what you are feeling; you give him your shoulder to cry on, and you remind him, again and again, that you are not going anywhere. 

This time, you can’t do that. 

“I need to call my mom. I’ll uh, I’ll go sleep over hers tonight and we can talk tomorrow or… or whenever you’re free, I guess.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too. I got to go, but… I lo-love you.” The way you choke on your words scare you.

Even the first time you told Felix you loved him, as a friend and as something much more than that, you never stuttered. 

You never hesitated. 

“…and I know I’ve been playing since like, forever, but it’s not my fault the game is hard! It’s so hard, baby, and the guys won’t stop teasing me because I’m bronze,” He groaned, body falling on your bed in such a dramatic attempt to get your attention that you couldn’t leave him hanging. 

Putting your school homework aside, you scooted closer to him. And then you paused. 

Felix had just dyed his hair blonde for the first time and he had gotten in trouble with the principal, but he looked good. It suited him, the light colour; made it look almost like there was a constant halo shining around his face, framing his smile with pure sunshine and heavenly light. In your eyes, he was an angel. Always has been, and it showed through his actions more than his words. It was in the way he always put others before him, and how his friends were always his top priority. It was in the gentle way he took care of Jisung when he wasn’t feeling all that bright, or how he was quick to reassure Chan that he was doing good. It was in how he worked out with Changbin, despite his hatred for gyms, and how he teased Minho and Seungmin for their inane grumpiness, all to just see those precious, rare smiles they shone to no one else but Felix himself. It was in how he took care of Jeongin like an older brother, and how he was always there for you, reminding you to take breaks and look around you. Reminding you that there was life beyond school and jobs and expectations. 

Felix was your reminder that life waited for no one, but he would always wait for you. 

“Y/N, I can’t be any more clear here,” He grumbled, moving until his head was laying on your thigh. Looking down at him with raised brows, he sighed. “I want you to give me attention.”

“I am giving you attention, Lix,” You say, smiling when you slowly push your fingers through his hair. It feels drier than normal, but it’s still one of the best feelings in the world, especially when his eyes fall shut and that familiar blush spreads through his freckles. 

“I want more,” His voice is barely above a whisper now. “I want all your love and attention.”

“You got it all,” It’s like you’ve zoned out. Your eyes stuck on his face, memorising all the little things you missed when he’s not in front of you, tracing his features with your free hand like you were tracing a secret path you never want to forget. “You got all my love and attention, Felix. I love you.”

The way his body reacted to your words was almost comical. You can’t help rolling your eyes at his expression though– all big eyes and gaping mouth. “What did you just say?”

As much as you tried to play it cool, there was no lying to Felix, not when he could read you like a book and quote dialogues he committed to memory. “Felix, I tell you I love you all the time!” And you really did– you’ve done it  for a long, long time now, but this time it was different. You both knew it was different, and for a second, you just stared at each other. 

“But not like this,” He whispered, refusing to break eye contact with you. Right there and then, in your old childhood room, still wearing your high school uniforms, you two had just created a bubble– a little world no one else was welcome in besides you both and in there, in that safe and cosy space, lived all the emotions, all the doubt, all the insecurities that two teenagers in love carried around hidden in their sleeves. In the bubble, though, you don’t need to hide anything. 

“Yeah, well,” You looked down at your hands, getting a bit antsy now that it had been a while and he wasn't saying anything. “I love you like this now. So, yeah.”

“Y/N, look at me.” You shook your head at his request. “Come on, babe, look at me.” 

His fingers hooked under your chin, raising your gaze to meet his and he’s way closer than before, lips brushing against yours when he gently kissed you. It’s a chaste kiss, similar to the ones you two would share in the early beginnings of your relationship. And just like then, your heart sped up, inhaling sharply when he said– “I’ve loved you like this since always.”

Safe to say, you don’t sleep that night.

You wish you could say it was because you’re not used to sleeping alone, but recently, that is all you have been used to. The absence of Felix. 

You don’t sleep because you can’t stop crying. Your mother did her best, like always, to try and calm you down, but she is not used to this– she is not used to the woman you’ve become when she left you at your campus just a teenager. Her best advice, however, is everlasting, and it just makes you cry even more. “I think… I think you need to talk to him. He’s the only one that can give you any kind of answer, sweetheart. He’s your best friend and he knows you better than anyone. Felix would never do anything to hurt you, you know that Y/N. Just talk to him.”

That’s how you end up there, at the beach just a quick walk away from your apartment. You haven’t called him yet, and in all honesty, you’re quite scared to do so. As confrontational as you are in your day to day, confronting Felix is a whole other thing. He gets that stunned look in his face, and his eyes shine with unshed tears. He cries out of guilt, and not because whatever you are talking about is his fault, but just because he will always fault himself when something shifts out of place. He tried to be good like that, refusing to let you share blame and taking it all to himself. And it doesn’t matter how many times you tell him to not do that, to let you face the mistakes you make as a couple next to him, he doesn’t; because Felix would rather hurt himself, than make you hurt. 

“Y/N.”

It’s a bit of a pathetic scene, the one he catches you in. You are wearing some old clothes you still had at your mother’s, and they don’t fit all that well, but it’s better than staying in your office clothes all night long. If you are not wrong, the sweatpants you’re wearing belong to no one other than the man behind you, from the old times when he used to sleep over on the weekends. The t-shirt is your mom’s and it has a tacky, self-help saying in the front that you don’t even dare to read, your hair is a bird’s nest, and you have your heels next to you, naked feet buried in the sand. But none of it matters. Not to him. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I was taking a walk and I saw you,” You don’t have to look back to know he’s awkwardly swaying back and forth, unsure if he should come to you or not. It’s crazy how accurately you can picture him in your mind.

Sighing, you move your heels to the space between your legs, giving him the unspoken permission he needs to come sit by you. “Y/N, I’m sorry.”

Just as you predicted, he is quick to apologise. He is always quick to apologise, but it confuses you a little in this instance. “What are you sorry for, Felix?” 

“Don’t–“ The frustrated sigh he let out is so guttural that it makes you jump a little, head snapping to look at him. “Don’t shut down again.”

“Felix, I’m not shutting down, I–“

“No, you are! You are shutting down because that’s what you always do! You panic, and then you wait until things pass over, and when they don’t, you shut down, and I don’t want you to shut down because I don’t want you to give up on us!”

“Give up on us?!” Your blood is boiling now, and you turn to look at him with an enraged expression. “You gave up on us! You’re the one that disappeared in the mornings, and never came home during the fucking weekends, and that was late for dinners, and that forgot to pick me up!” The more you speak, the higher your voice gets, sounding so scratchy that you can’t even stand it anymore. But that doesn’t stop you– it doesn’t stop you from screaming and crying and shaking. It doesn’t stop you from fighting, because no matter what he does or doesn’t do, you don’t think you can ever stop fighting for you two. “You forgot about me! How could you forget about me?! We live together and and– and oh my god Felix, why did you forget about me?”

By the end of your speech, you’re panting, trying to breathe through the panic. Now that you’ve said it, it sounds so… real. So true. 

You refuse to look at him. As soon as you see the tears in his eyes, you’ll forget everything else and open your arms to him. If you do that now, then you are no better than the people that resign their love, the ones that would rather not fight, and therefore, rather not fix. 

“I… I thought you were tired of me.”

“Excuse me?” 

“You… I don’t know, it wasn’t anything you’ve done, but I just– I– I thought I was losing you, Y/N. We’ve been together for almost ten years. A decade! And every day is like… like the best day of my life. But… But I got scared. I was afraid you were tired of me, so I tried to give you some space. Some moments at home for you to enjoy some peace and quiet, have a nice bath, go out with your co-workers. I didn’t want to suffocate you, Y/N, that’s all, but I guess I took it too far, and I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to. I really didn’t mean to, you have to believe me. I couldn’t sleep knowing I forgot to pick you up because I was too in my head, baby…”

It’s hard to stay angry at him when he’s being oh so honest. You’ve had your moments before– the days where being next to him felt so heavy and hard because you just couldn’t fathom why he was still with you. Why wasn't he bored, or tired, or annoyed of the little things you did. Why did he keep smiling and laughing like your jokes were new. But even in your worst days, you never wanted space. You will never want space. In fact, this was the first time you have asked him for it, and even then, it just didn’t feel right. “Felix, why would I be tired of you? I love you. I… I love you in all ways I can love you. You’re not just my boyfriend, Lix. You’re my oldest friend, my best friend, and, and you know, the guy I hope will be my forever. I could never get tired of you.” 

“I love you too,” He shifts forward, forehead resting against yours. His sniffling makes you smile. “I love you so much, always have.”

“I know, so please… never make me doubt it again,” With a peck to his lips, you wipe your face dry and get up, holding your shoes in one hand and extending the other one for him.

“I never will,” He swore, squeezing your hand as you walked back home. “I’ll be better, I promise. We’ll be like we were in the blink of an eye, you’ll see!” 

“No, sweetheart, it’s not about going back to how it was,” You say, shaking your head with a knowing smile. “It’s about building something much, much better from here on out.”

-------------------------------------

aaaaaahhhhh I'm so excited for this collab! the amazing @catiuskaa already posted Minho's story and you should all go check it out >.< It's in the masterlist tagged above! I hope you all have as much fun reading this as we do writing it <3

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hi I hope your doing good

So I was wondering if I can get some hcs of Kuai Liang with a female s/o who loves playing with his hair. Like his s/o will 100% Just beg him to let her play with his hair, his s/o just always wants to braid it or put it up for him hell even just run her fingers through his hair

My day could’ve been better but hey, writing makes it better at least. 🦦

Kuai Liang adores having his hair played with and pulled wait what for it acted as an destressor or a therapeutic outlet for him.

So whenever you came up to him, begging and pleading for him to allow you the opportunity to play with his gorgeous hair, who was he to deny such an generous offer; after all it was a win win situation for the both of you. You get to play with his hair whilst Kuai Liang gets to relive himself of his daily stresses.

kuai Liang highly encourages you to play with his hair because he loves the way your fingers would languidly drag through his hair, as though you didn’t want to rush a single thing and wanted him to feel everything, from your nails scratching his head to detangling any knots you come across.

(I honestly don’t think this man has a single knot in his hair, I mean look at him! So when you run your hands through those silken strands, it’s like running your fingertips through water because it’s that perfect.)

Kuai Liang is partial for the moments where neither of you had anything else to do, as it gave him the excuse to keep his head in your lap and gradually being lulled to sleep with a relaxed smile on his face.

‘I’m starting to think you’re enjoying this a little too much.’ You teased as you purposefully dragged your fingers slowly through Kuai Liang’s hair, smile becoming wider upon hearing his moans, groans and sighs of relief.

‘And so what if I am?’ Kuai Liang asked as he opened his eyes to look up at you from his position upon your lap, smirking. ‘What’re you implying, little flame?’

‘I’m not implying anything.’ You began playing with a section of his hair, all I’m saying is that I don’t recall ever seeing you this relaxed before. It’s nice.’ You add, tugging at the ends of his hair playfully, before bringing your fingers back to the top of his head and repeating the motion. ‘Is that so?’ Kuai Liang drawled as he slowly closed his eyes and leaning into your touch, you swore that if you were to listen hard enough, you would be able to hear him purring as though he were an oversized house cat.

‘Yes, very much so.’ You chuckled.

Kuai Liang subconsciously smiled upon hearing the sound. ‘Then I guess I’m guilty on all charges, but can you possibly blame me? I get to de-stress and you get to play with my hair.’

‘I guess you’re right.’ You retorted. ‘I’ll cut you some slack, just this once.’

Kuai Liang would also let you style his hair however you want when asked, whether it was plaited, in a high bun, low bun, messy bun, half up, basic ponytail, knotted ponytail; whatever style you provided for his hair, he will wear it for the rest of the day with pride. He doesn’t give a fuck what Bi-Han and Tomas said.

He’d also use your instance to doing his hair as an excuse not to do it himself. Now to preference this, Kuai Liang isn’t lazy in any regard at all. He just likes the fact that you actually want to style his hair for him, whilst he’s stuck sat on the edge of your bed, as he’s a sucker for the domestic lifestyle.

In short: Kuai Liang acts like a cat when you run your fingers through his hair. (real)

[totheblood]

true blue. (one)

pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie has a new philosophy: don't fall in love and you won't get your heart broken. ellie also has a really cute new friend. ellie admires some birds in this chapter idk if thats significant

warnings: 18+ (as a general rule for this series and my blog as a whole) suggestive themes, eventual smut, drug/alcohol usage, cursing, descriptions of abusive behavior (neither ellie or reader engages in these behaviors)

a/n: i am hoping to make this a series if enough people like it and want me too... i really appreciate support and feedback through asks and replies/reblogs, it all means so much to me. also i have this whole thing planned out and i plan for it to be very messy hehe... i love drama idk

This year was going to be different.

At least that’s what Ellie told herself as she gripped the straps of her worn out backpack. All of the classes her and Cat had planned to take together this semester she had quickly transferred out of by the end of the summer, causing her to rack up an impressive list of classes on her schedule nobody wanted to take. 

“Fuck,” Ellie cursed under her breath as she rushed towards the building her literature seminar was in. “I’m going to be so late.” She was practically cursing herself for waking up so late that morning, her bed seeming much more welcoming than the professor who had 1 star on ‘rate my professors.’ She knew she had fucked up, but at this moment she didn’t really care.

As she made her way down the chestnut lined hallway, she frantically checked the door numbers on each door, cursing each time the door number didn’t align with the one she was supposed to be in. When she did find her classroom at the end of the hallway, she had to steady herself with a few deep breaths before entering. Throughout all of this, however, one thought rang clear through her mind: Fuck Cat.

Ellie never really liked to refer to herself as heartbroken, but that was the nicest way she could put the state that Cat had left her in. Ellie always knew she liked girls and while she had many crushes, and a few kisses, Cat was her first real girlfriend. She was the first person to hold Ellie’s hand in public, post lame birthday posts on Instagram, and the first person to give her an orgasm. But if she was being really honest with herself, her first orgasm belonged to her own hand.

Cat had served as a turning point in Ellie’s life and up until this point she was almost certain  that she had been in love with her. Almost. There was always this sinking feeling that whatever feelings she had for the girl was most likely orchestrated by pure hormones. She couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was that made her feel that way, but there always seemed to be something missing from their relationship. 

Little to Ellie’s knowledge, however, was that was just who Cat was. She made you feel like you were on top of the world, the only person in the universe who could cure her ills, and the only person who got her. She made you feel special, and at the time, that was exactly what Ellie was craving. She needed a person who looked at her like she aligned the stars, and that person was Cat.

Until it wasn’t. Quickly towards the end of the summer Cat got bored and all of the love notes Ellie had written her were quickly discarded within an hour of reading them. She continued to pull away until there was no trace of her left in Ellie’s life. To make matters worse, she broke up with Ellie over text, leaving her dazed and confused. There was nothing left for her to do except to run to Dina’s house and cry in her lap. She hated how pathetic she looked as Dina stroked her hair and shooed Jeese off with the flick of her hand. It was safe to say Ellie was completely over relationships.

Fuck Cat, she thought again, but decided that it being a thought wasn’t enough.

E: Fuck Cat.

D: yea fuck that bitch

Deciding that the text had done enough to calm her nerves, she pushed through the threshold into the classroom. She must’ve not realized how intimate of a class this was when she signed up for it because as she entered all ten of the people in the room now locked eyes with her, and the old man sitting at the front of the table threw her a disappointed look.

“Ellie Williams, I presume?” he questioned, looking at his roster in front of him.

“You do presume.” She awkwardly answered, only receiving a chuckle from a girl sitting at the far end of the table. Ellie looked up to see who it was that laughed at her poorly timed joke but just saw you trying to hide the smile on your face by pretending to write notes.

“You can sit at any open seat, I was just discussing the syllabus.” He told her, his tone sharp. 

“Okay, thanks.” Ellie mumbled under her breath, moving to sit at the open seat next to you considering you seemed like you might be the friendliest person in this room. She quickly moved to get her notebook out but internally cursed herself out for the fifth time that day because she completely forgot her pencil case in her dorm. She decided to save herself the embarrassment of asking if anyone had a pen, so she just continued to ruffle through her bag even though she knew it wasn’t there.

“You looking for something?” you leaned over to whisper to her, still causing her to jump back slightly.

“Yea, a pen?” She whispered back, laughing under her breath to pretend like she wasn’t completely embarrassed right now.

“Here.” A black pen balanced in between your fingers as you offered it to her. She sheepishly thanked you before taking it, making sure your fingers didn’t touch. 

“There will be one main assignment in this class as you can see on the syllabus.” Ellie, obviously not in her element, looked around at all the packets each person was holding. As if you could sense the nerves on her, you shoved your packet in between the both of you, pointing to the assignment the professor was discussing. 

“It is a partner based project and since there are only ten of you I hope this won’t be an issue.” He continued on. “And as you can see it is worth 60% of your grade.” Fuck this, Ellie thought to herself yet again, and fuck Cat too, she added for good measure.

The rest of the 90 minute class went as well as you could imagine, Ellie only having to stop herself from falling asleep three times. When the class was over and she began to collect her things Ellie looked over to where you were stuffing your laptop into your backpack. 

“Hey,” she managed to get out, her fingers fidgeting with her rings. “Would you want to be partners for the project?” 

You let out a breath of relief smiling both to her and yourself. “I would love that actually.” 

“Ok, good.” Ellie chuckled to herself about how nervous she was over something so small “I thought you might’ve thought I was like super unprepared or something since I was late and the pen.” Her eyes widened the pen. “Oh shit, your pen.” Ellie moved to take her backpack off and give back your pen but you abruptly stopped her by placing your hand on her forearm. Your hand right over the very spot Cat had tattooed. 

“Keep it,” you offered her a genuine smile before handing your phone over to her “and put your number in here.” 

Ellie may not have noticed it but she blushed. A part of her knew you were just being kind and you needed her number to work on the project but if this was any other setting this would be considered flirting. Ellie nervously took your phone in her hand and inserted her number and name with a little planet emoji next to it. When she handed the phone back to you she scanned your face for a reaction, smiling to herself when she saw your very own smile. 

“Ellie,” you looked back up at her “nice name.” All Ellie could do was let the tips of her ears turn red as she thanked you. When you offered her your own name and she repeated it back to you, she liked the way it felt on her tongue. She wondered what you wou- No, she wasn’t doing this again.

“I’ll text you tonight about getting started.” You informed her, now slinging your own bag over your shoulder.

“Looking forward to it.” She stated simply, her own feet planted to the floor.

“I presume you are.” You replied with a giggle before turning around and leaving Ellie feeling fuzzy.

Fuck.

The rest of Ellie’s day was uneventful to say the least. She saw a few birds eating a sandwich and thought it was cute, but besides that (and you), her day was boring. She was hoping that this year would be different, that she would be miles ahead of where she was when she met Cat, but she knew she was just worse. She wanted anything, a rebound, a distraction to pull her mind off Cat but all she could do was stare at her ceiling and try not to cry. Or that’s what she was doing until her phone buzzed from it’s place on her stomach.

Y: hey, it’s me

E: Who's me?

Y: pen dealer, duh

E: I thought dealers were supposed to be more discreet.

Y: you know a lot about dealers?

E: I’ve seen a few movies.

Y: nothing is like the movies, be fr

Y: anyways, do you want to meet up to discuss the project tomorrow? we could meet at beans?

E: Yeah, sure. 10?

Y: sounds good, bring cash

E: For? I use apple pay.

Y: for the pens… it was a joke nvm

E: Dumb joke.

The next morning Ellie had to drag herself out of bed so she wouldn’t be late to meet you. She groaned as she watched her roommate sleeping peacefully in her bed while she so desperately wished it could be her. For some reason that she couldn’t place, Ellie found herself smoothing down her hair and checking her teeth in the mirror. She even sprayed some perfume before she left, coughing as she accidentally inhaled some of the liquid. Why was she doing this again?

She saw you through the window of the coffee shop, leaned over your computer screen lost in thought. You tucked your pen between your lips and Ellie couldn’t help but feel like a freak staring at you from the other side. You looked so at peace with your hair tied up and your eyes carefully scanning the screen. Ellie wondered what it would feel like to not have a million things going through your mind at once. 

When she approached you she made a mental note of how your eyes lit up when you saw her. You had known her for a second and you had already looked at her with more adoration that Cat did towards the end of their relationship. 

“Hey, customer.” You joked, as you watched Ellie sit down across from you. 

“You don’t know how to let a joke die, do you?” She questioned jokingly, a warm feeling in both her face and her chest.

“I do not.” You said matter of factly.

The two of you discussed the project, throwing in occasional conversation and jokes when the material got too daunting. After about an hour had passed and the two of you were already feeling burnt out, Ellie suggested you take a walk around campus to “get some fresh air” and “clear your heads.” In reality, she was already growing tired of this project and just wanted to hear your voice ramble on about something other than American Literature.

It was a cool day, and the slight breeze caused both you and Ellie to squint the entire time. There was something so calm about the energy between the two of you. It wasn’t passionate or overwhelming like it was with Cat, but comforting. It was lulling Ellie into a sense of security, but she knew it couldn’t last long. 

“Where are you from?” Ellie spoke up. “Did you grow up around here?”

“Close-ish, I guess.” You answered. “I’m from a town north called Star Valley.” 

“Oh shit, you’re right by Jackson.” Ellie exclaimed. 

“Yea, you’re from Jackson?” The idea that you too lived this close and this was your first time meeting almost seemed criminal to Ellie.

“Yeah, me and my friends grew up there. I’m originally from Boston, though, I moved there with my..” You gave her time to speak, it being painfully obvious she was going to have trouble explaining the situation. “Like my dad? He’s not really my dad, he’s just Joel.” She decided to dumb down her complicated relationship with him for the sake of time. You, however, did not try to get any information out of her, or immediately try to get her to be vulnerable with her like Cat did at the beginning of the relationship. You just smiled at her and continued on with the conversation. 

Ellie liked this. She liked being able to have a conversation with a pretty girl that didn’t make her feel like she was tearing herself open just to bond with you. You two were just bonding in the simplest way people could. The sick and sinister part of her, however, was telling her to leave immediately. To avoid the trouble that another heartbreak would bring her. 

That part of her was starting to win over slowly as she remembered the promise she made to herself. She quickly excused herself and told you she would text you about meeting up again to work on the project. Her brain was telling her run, run, run, but she could tell you were still standing there staring as she walked away towards the direction of her building. 

Later that night, after a cool shower and a few hits of her pen, Ellie found herself ranting to Dina over text again.

E: I’m so fucked.

D: what???

E: I’m working with this really hot girl on a project for one of my classes and today we were walking together and it all seemed normal, like toooo normal, so I left. Like I no joke was like “Bye” mid conversation and LEFT HER THERE. What is wrong with me?

D: what happened to ‘i’m never talking to another girl again’?

E: I’m not.

D: …

E: I’M NOT.

E: IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER SHE PROBABLY THINKS I’M A FREAK FOR RUNNING AWAY TODAY

D: true

E: ?????

D: idk why you would do that so i’m not going to lie to you

D: i would think you are a freak

E: Ok, fuck you.

D: what does she look like?

E: Hot. 

D: oh yes thank you for painting such a vivid picture

D: SEND A PICTURE YOU FREAK

E: You are so mean to me.

Ellie felt the need for validation so she did what any normal person would in that situation: she went to instagram and typed in your full name. To her surprise, there you were, smiling as bright as the sun in your profile picture. Ellie suddenly felt like a kid again scanning through your photos, blushing and smiling to herself as she looked at you, losing focus of her original motive. She didn’t realize how far she had scrolled down until she was stopped by the sight of a familiar face. In a post dated over a year ago it was you kissing another girl. 

And that girl was Cat.

[featguler]

one of those things ────── aurélien isn't ready to let you go.

♡ ────── pairing : aurélien tchouaméni x reader ♡ ────── tags : reader's gender, ethnicity, nationality, and appearance is not specified, but they are described to be smaller than aurel. no smut but aurel is very touchy here... viewer's discretion is advised. kiiiiinda toxic idk they're exes and also drunk. aurel is sorta an asshole but idc he's so hot omfgggg sorry he is JEALOUS. important to mention that he's a bit forceful here but reader (& me) lowkey likes it... NOT proofread!!! it's a bit messy sorry ♡ ────── wordcount : 1,431 ♡ ────── notes : i am blushing as i write this. there is no plot to this, it's literally just banters. the stranger can be whoever you want but i am imagining trent from lfc omggg hes so fine. i GOTTA stop talking so much on the tags. not based on cowboy like my by taylor swift, but i was listening to it the whole time i was writing this ♡ masterlist.

“Stop looking at him.”

Aurélien has his lips hovering against the side of your neck, glowering at the general direction of the bar, like he was a wolf trying to protect his slaughtered prey.

“I’ll look at whoever I want,” you roll your eyes, hands gripping his arms—much bigger, much stronger—that are wrapped around your waist, trying to pry him off you. He has refused to let go of you ever since his drunken gaze spied you on the bar, biting your lips as you tug on the sleeve of a stranger of a man you’ve met only tonight.

You were flirting with him, because obviously you were.

It’s a club. It’s 1 A.M. And you are single.

Why wouldn’t you flirt with the next piece of hot ass you see?

“Come on,” Aurélien whispers, focusing all his hazy attention on you. “Should I go over and talk to him? S’that what you want? What do you think, baby?”

The fun banters were cut short when you felt an all too familiar farm wrapped around your waist, whisking you away.

And before you know it, you are settled on your ex’s lap, thirty feet away from the stranger on the bar, somewhere between his footballer friends, too busy with themselves and too accustomed with Aurélien’s antics to pay you any spare attention.

“I think,” you keep your eye contact with the man in the bar, fingers trying to slip between Aurélien’s hand, “you’re drunk. And stupid.”

“Drunk?” he chuckles, fully burying his face into your neck, an enticing feeling that you haven’t felt in a while, as he breathes in your scent. “Maybe.”

You shift on his lap, knees aching to get up, but he holds you down.

“But I’m not stupid, baby—”

“Don’t call me ‘baby’.”

“—don’t call me stupid.”

“Don’t call me ‘baby’,” you repeat, leaning away from his head, trying to push his face away from the tender skin of your neck. Ex-lovers definitely shouldn’t be all over each other like this. “We’re over, Aurélien. Remember?”

“Remember?” He chuckles, still keeping his chin on your shoulder despite your eagerness to get away. “Ouch.”

“Get used to it.”

You glance back at the bar as Aurélien’s fingers find their way to the hem of your shirt, ungodly intention laced in every stretch of his muscles before your shaky hand stops him, somewhat affected by the couple of shots the stranger had bought you too.

“Fine,” he murmurs, pouting, as though you will melt for that age-old trick. “I’ll apologise for calling you ‘baby’, and then we’ll go home and have some fun.”

You scrunch your nose at his offer, turn to glare at him, only to meet his lazy grin.

“I’m not—”

You breathe in a deep sigh, and you can feel his jaw clench.

“—If I’m going home with anyone tonight, it won’t be you.”

“Why not?” He whines, pulling you in even closer, if possible, and you bite your lips as your ass rubs against his crotch, the friction causing you to shut your eyes as the blood rushes away from your brain.

The night just gets more hazy.

And seeing you distracted, Aurélien steals the moment to continue his way under your shirt, his fingers digging deep into the side of your torso.

“Aurélien,” your murmur, your voice drawing out to a drawl. You almost forgot about the stranger in the bar—when you look back at him for a short second, he is holding a glass of shots against his lips, a smirk etched on his lips like he’s enjoying the show Aurélien is putting on for him.

Aurélien grits his teeth, grazing them against your neck when he notices that your attention is centred on the guy more than on him. “Answer me.”

You huff, gripping his wrist over your shirt. “Because we’re over. We broke up.”

An irritated sigh escapes his lips, somehow returning his lips on your neck, nipping softly on the skin. “You’re being stubborn.”

“I’m being stubborn?”

“Come on,” he pretends that he isn’t in denial. “I’ll take you home and I’ll fix whatever was wrong with us, yeah?”

His hand continues to knead on your flesh, lips moving up your neck, to your jaw, to nip on your earlobes. 

“That’s not,” your grip on his wrist tightened, “how it works.”

“Of course it is,” he whispers, pulling you back. “That’s exactly how it works. We’ll talk, just you and me, back at my place.”

You shake your head, one hand on the velvet couch beneath you two, to find leverage as your feet find the floor—a sad attempt of getting up. “I want nothing to do with you.”

“You sure about that?” His hand leaves your shirt, and finds itself gripping your thigh to pull you back down. He sounds inviting, and you almost fell for the alluring tone of his words. “Don’t make me prove you wrong.”

You slant your eyes. “Don’t be a dick.”

Aurélien laughs, seeming to enjoy riling you up, like he wants to see you break.

“Or what?” He cups the side of your hips, rocking you, his fingers drawing aimless patterns against the fabric of your jeans. “You gonna do something about it? Gonna punish me, baby?”

You grit your teeth, drawing in a sharp breath, a hot sensation stirring in your chest—a mixture of exhilaration, and annoyance, and interest, and anger.

You can backtrack. You can forget about your break up, and go home with him, and let the alcohol take over the night. But your ego is higher than whatever pedestal Aurélien has decided to put you on.

And you? Well, you are just not the type of person to get back together after a break up.

It’s pathetic. It’s embarrassing.

Aurélien tilts his head at the way your bottom lip juts and pouts as you rake your brain for some sort of response. He can’t help pushing you over the edge—that feeling of dominance over your feeble resolve, having you on his lap, small and bothered; he loves it.

And he loves you. He is pretty sure that he does. And he’s pretty sure that you would come running back to him if he just pushes the right button.

“Cat got your tongue, huh?” He kisses your cheek, and you don’t miss the way his eyes dart towards the bar for a second. “I’m tryna talk to you, baby. I can’t have you go home with ‘nother man, now can I?”

“Fuck,” you jolt when you feel him dig even further into your hip, “I’m fuckin’ sick of you, Aurélien.”

He chuckles. “Say it again.”

You scoff, throwing your gaze away, trying to distract yourself with the arbitrary coloured lights on the dancefloor. “You got a sick kink?”

“I do,” Aurélien laughs, fond of the way you are feisty, of the way you hold back out of pride. “Only for you, though.”

It’s what he likes about you, he guesses, you keep it interesting for him. 

“Say you want me back,” he coaxes, his breath hot against your neck, lips just inches away from the one spot he had been lapping on all night. He would love to see you tomorrow morning—he just knows that his bite marks will develop into pretty bruises tomorrow, and the thought latches his teeth on the skin above your collarbone. “I know you want me, baby.”

“You’re dreaming,” you sneer, though it leaves your mouth more like a whine. He raises an eyebrow. “M’gonna say this—last time I’ll ever say it. We broke up.”

Aurélien groans, shutting his eyes, annoyed. “You’re so difficult.”

His large palm rubs against you, returning once more to the warm skin under your shirt, nails lightly scratching on it.

“You’re not protesting against me, though,” he points out. “You still love me, dontcha?”

You bite your lips, and it takes two seconds too long to answer him. “No.”

The way you whine, the way you shift—deliberately or not—on his lap. Aurélien murmurs, “You’re a shitty liar.”

“Fuck off.”

“Ohh, that’s not the language that a pretty baby should use,” his drunken slurs scold. You feel annoyed—and helpless—just listening to him. “Shouldn’t you mind your manners, considering you’re sitting on my lap?”

“Well,” you swallow, turning to look back at him. “Maybe you should consider letting me go.”

“And let you go back to him?” Aurélien shoots another murderous look at the bar. “No. Besides, I’m not done with you.”

You sigh, biting your lips, and a small smirk sprouts on his lips. You’re in for a long, long night.