#it wasn't even lack of opportunity because they were busy or something

[marcsburnerphone]

And they were roomates

(Captain John price x F!reader)

Summary: that captain wants somewhere more homely to settle down and when an offer like yours comes alight on Zillow he must take up on it.

Warnings: angsty (very minimal), injury(very minimal), john not knowing how to handle certain situation.

part 1 - part 2 - part 3!! - part 4

-----------

That's when it started, the weird energy that set the scene for every interaction between the two of you. He couldn't help but start to see this so-called “tension” gaz had mentioned fulfill its way into your lives. Not only was it your beauty, it was the domesticity that settled in your relationship. You need that lightbulb in your room replaced, you politely knocked on his door, car troubles? Yeah John should know how to do that. But what scared him the most wasn't the attraction he felt towards you, it was your lack thereof. He never seemed to catch you sparing him any extra glances than were necessary. Unlike him he couldn't help but catch his greedy eyes secretly soaking in every inch of you when given the opportunity. 

But he couldn't be further than wrong 

Because at the opposite end of your home your mind seems to be obsessed with the thought of john. What a man he was. He must’ve been getting some back on base and you couldn't even be jealous, aroused though definitely. He's actually all 6 foot something of fine, absolutely climbable. But god does that man often look like he wants not a thing to do with you. Especially most recently you rarely even see him and when you do he barely speaks or spares you a glance.

—-----------------

“Hey, haven't seen you in awhile.” you surprise him extremely early in the kitchen one morning.

“Oh um good morning, I’m fine just been a bit busy. Why are you up so early?” He lies then quickly changes the topic knowing being awake during these hours of the morning  isn’t your forte.

“Scheduled a client for 6AM instead of 6PM and it's too late to cancel.'' He hums in response, willing himself to say something more but his mind comes up blank as it often does in your presence. 

So he leaves without a word and nothing in hand he just leaves. And you stand there absolutely thrown through the loop at the moment that you two just shared. 

—--------------

“We were doing great as roommates. You know I was comfortable and he seemed comfortable but now I swear that man avoids me like the plague.” you say to the longtime client in your chair.

“Maybe he’s just not social.” She chimes in, you concentrate while trying to part her hair before replying.

“I could see that being the case if he hadn’t been so social the previous two weeks you know, we’ve made meals in the kitchen together, watched television in the living room so I don’t understand what changed.” you say applying product to the sectioned hair.

“What if he doesn’t like you?” your hands pause for a second as you ponder the thought.

“Well I guess he doesn’t have to like me to live with me.” you say with very visibly discontent.

“But you on the other hand strive when people like you.” she replies, reading right through you.

“Well yeah I think anybody would.” you shrug.

“Not a military man who’s probably widely hated.” She's always right and you hate it.

“What's not to like about me?” you genuinely couldn't come up with an answer yourself.

“Are you a messy roommate or do you bother him a lot or do you nag him for his mess?” You can’t think of doing any of those but maybe asking for his help from time to time.

“I might be bothering him but nothing I would consider too much , just some help from time to time.” she laughs from her seat and you unenthusiastically spin the chair she's in to face you.

“Was it in the contract that he'd have to help you from ‘time to time’.'' You give her a quizzical look and she just continues.

“Men like to do the bare minimum and that's it. They hate being bothered. Take it from me. I'm married with three sons and they're all the same. Oh they have to do the dishes, sure, but will they dry them, or put them away? No, because that's not what I asked.” you hum understanding her point but still finding it hard to see john really feeling that way.

“So then I shouldn't ask him for anything and maybe he'll come around?” you ask in an unsure tone.

“yup.” she replies blunt, fast and very sure of herself.

—-----------

So you listened, this whole week you've not asked John for a thing which was pretty easy up until now. Your luck never fails to run out at the worst times. A flat tire in the middle of the road on your way home. You pull off to the side contemplating what to do as the sun is beginning to set and there's really only two options.

One, call John and ruin your streak of leaving him be. Two, call the car service company and pay their ridiculous prices to change the tire out. Of course you go with option two cause calling john seems to make you more nervous.

It takes 3 hours for the mechanic to get to where you are, change the tire, and point out other imperfections about your car that you pay no mind to. When you finally make it home you’re bothered, exhausted and broke.

John doesn't miss the unusualness of your late arrival but also doesn't question it, even though he wants to. Your groans of frustration echo through the hallway and he immediately can tell it was a bad day.

You change out of your work clothes and go into the kitchen for a snack as you do your daily phone call to your sister to tell her about the events of your day. John creeks his office door open to hear a little better but nothing noticeable. 

“He charged me six hundred dollars, I mean how is that even legal?” You complain into the phone that’s balanced between your neck and shoulder. 

“It was just my tire that was flat, nothing else.” you follow up while chewing on an apple. You swear you could cry by repeating that monstrosity.

John can't help but feel a bit confused and upset that you hadn't just called him instead of calling whatever dick that charged you that much for something so simple. Changing a tire is an easy 30 minutes that he definitely had on his hands especially for you. You had not hesitated asking for help before so what's changed now?

—-------------

“Okay, unscrew the old bulb and screw in the new bulb, very simple.” you reassure yourself as you stand on top of the tall ladder to replace the porch light. It’s icy outside and cold sweeps under your layers of clothes making your normally shaky hands shakier.

“Okay okay- damn it.” You drop the bulb that burnt out onto the floor watching the glass scatter.

You screw the new one in and step down, closing the latter with frustrated groan, then going to pick up the bigger shards to toss out before sweeping. You should’ve known that bulb glass was insanely thin and sharp but sometimes your brain leaves out the important stuff.

“Ow, fuck fuck fuck.” You cry out at the shard of glass that forms a long clean cut on your palm. You cry as you run into your home holding the cut tightly. Finding the sink you turn the water on and rinse it clean. Your ears don’t comprehend the loud footsteps that make their way towards the kitchen.

“What happened?” A deep voice sighs out behind you.

“Nothing.” Your hiccups escape involuntarily as it continues to bleed dramatically. You squeeze your eyes shut as it begins to burn more and more.

“Let me see.” He tries to grab at your hand genuinely concerned.

“I’m fine, it’s just a cut.” You resist him by keeping your hand under the water.

“Cut from what?” he's a bit frustrated at your refusal of letting his trained mind and hands help.

“I was changing the light bulb outside and one broke.” you admit quietly.

“Why didn’t you ask me to do it?” once again what is with you no longer asking him for his very available help.

“Cause I can handle myself John.” You’re irritated at the obvious evidence that you cannot. Your non wounded hand rips a paper towel from the roll and you hold it to the cut to go bandage it in your room. 

You leave John standing in the kitchen and don’t even look back as you make your way to your room. He stays in that same spot for a second wondering where your random change in attitude is coming from but in the end he comes up blank and goes out to the porch to clean the rest of the glass up.

—----------

You feel terribly guilty when you wake up the next morning to see the porch swept clean and ladder put away from the previous night. You toughen up and put your big girl pants on to go apologize. You knock on his bedroom door and hear ruffling on the other side before he answers.

“hey john i'm really sorry for-” you stop noticing him dressed from head to toe in his military attire and damn.

“For what?” He takes notice of your pause and one up.

“For um the way I acted last night I know you were only trying to help and um why are you dressed like that?” You can’t help but question it.

“I have to go on base for a little bit, maybe a day or two. It shouldn't be too long but who knows, let me grab my check for you.” He walks back into his awfully clean room and grabs something out of a drawer and hands you a white envelope that consists of his monthly rent.

“Oh okay.” You can’t even hide the blush that laces between your features and although he notices it he can’t pinpoint the reasoning.

“Also don’t be sorry we all have our days and I shouldn’t have overstepped.” You nod in response not really knowing what to say. 

“Okay bye then I guess.” You awkwardly wave at him even though you stand mere inches away from his tall frame. 

“Bye doll.” He says before you walk away entirely thrown over whatever conversation that was.

----------------------

comments and reposts and appreicated <3

thankyou for all the love on this story so far.

@beebeechaos @ttsbaby01

@arminarlertssword @quakeroaksguy

@rafaelacallinybbay @bumblebeesfromvenus @glitterypirateduck @midnights-song @spyderdoll @lovelythingsinternal @fruitymoonbeams-blog @kkaaaagt @kit-williams @enfppixie @kythefangirl25 @eviltheleon @here4thespice @dclore22

[personasintro]

officially yours | jjk

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; you're his and he is yours on the paper – but what is the reality?

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, smut, arranged marriage au, friends to lovers

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, oral sex (f.), unprotected sex

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4k+

a/n: commissioned 

The tall modern building is not usually a place you hang around. In fact, you could count on your fingers how many times you've been here. The modern and clean interior never fails to amaze you, but that can be expected from such a prestigious company. It looks like the ones people get to see in movies – it definitely feels different to be inside and see it with your own eyes.

Now you're not a complete stranger to wealth and fortune, but you see it from a completely different side than people would've expected. You weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Even if it's a common assumption people have about you. 

“Welcome, Mrs. Jeon.”

The young receptionist welcomes you as soon as she spots you in a crowd full of working employees. Sometimes you wonder if you stick out so much, or they just know your face so much that they've got no problem recognizing you. Which is odd because you don't hang around in this circle of people very often. 

Mrs. Jeon. 

Even after a year, you feel a mixture of butterflies and oddness when hearing people addressing you like this. At the beginning, it took you quite a long time to get used to this. To hold such a powerful surname. Though, you felt proudness even though you're not sure if you had the right to feel it in the first place. 

Just a reminder that none of this is real.

Do you even deserve to be addressed by this surname that is technically yours only on papers? Morally, you're not so sure. 

A polite greeting makes it past your lips, trying not to squirm at the prying eyes of other people passing by. You're not exactly formally dressed, like every employee is. But you're not an employee. 

“Is my husband in his office?” you ask.

Again. After a year of marriage, you feel like you're letting a lie out of your mouth at addressing someone as your husband. 

The woman remains unbothered and completely clueless to your inner thoughts though. You haven't been doing this for a week, a year is a long time for you to improve your acting skills. 

“Yes, he just finished a meeting ten minutes ago. He's waiting for you.”

Giving her a simple nod and a soft 'thank you', you make your way to the elevators and click on the number of his floor where his office is located. 

It reminds you of the first time you settled on a deal that changed your lives. You've known Jungkook, though you never actually became close friends. There weren't actually many opportunities for you to get to know him better, the only heir to his parents company was too busy getting prepared for the new role and position as a CEO of Jeon industries. Funnily enough, two people with completely different backgrounds, you had some mutual friends where you actually met him.

You clicked, even from the few and very casual conversations you had. He wasn't the overly confident and cocky heir somebody would peg him for. He was grounded (in a way), polite and extremely charming. Though his parents were never strict about who he hangs out with or what he likes to do in his free time, one of the things they would pester him about was the need for him to settle down. It was the only pressure Jungkook always found in his parents.

It's not like he didn't have a choice to decide about his future – at that time the young twenty year old man wanted nothing more than to continue his family business. It's actually something he loves to do. He wasn't forced into it.

But with years passing by, Jungkook's parents would grow impatient and rather concerned about their son's lack of commitment. Random women taking their turns in his bed wasn't his strongest part. 

Naturally, they would start introducing him to their partners' daughters. And despite Jungkook's wildlife and freedom he had, they were nothing like him. Not that he's the romantic type who believes in soulmates and all that stuff, he wouldn't want to marry someone for money or any possible benefits for the company. The company was doing very well on itself and he didn't need to do any arranged marriage. 

He loves his parents to the bone. He is grateful for everything they've done for him – even more how they raised him and never were controlling. Not like his peers experienced in similar situations. 

Jungkook knows many people his age and in a same situation. It was bound for him to meet them, considering how many parties and social gatherings he had to attend, especially after being introduced as the new CEO. That's when he realized, after hearing his peers' struggles, how lucky and fortunate he is. 

So when his parents wouldn't let go of the topic of commitment and marriage, it was like a huge slap to his face. No matter what he would do or say, it wouldn't change their minds and eventually, Jungkook found himself stuck.

And that's when you came into the picture. 

The first time you heard his plan, you called him insane. You laughed into his face and told him you don't need anything he's offering you. Though Jungkook assured you he doesn't think of you as someone who needs or wants his money, he was more than willing to help you financially. He told you he would take care of you – something you found offending at first. 

Why would you need a man to take care of you? 

You are completely capable of taking care of yourself. You don't need any Jeon Jungkook to bathe you in wealth and luxury. 

But just like Jungkook – you're a loving daughter who would do anything for her parents. Well, unlike Jungkook, you weren't lucky enough to be growing up with two loving parents. 

The money Jungkook offered you by simply saying 'yes' would take care of any family member. Jungkook was no stranger, he still isn't. And after weighing the pros and cons for many sleepless nights, you found yourself nodding to his insane plan. 

Nobody could know. Rule number one.

The marriage would last for one year. It's the reason why you agreed to it in the first place. You wouldn't be bound to a man based on an arranged marriage for the rest of your life. You want your own family, kids, to fall in love. And a year didn't seem like a long time.

Jungkook made sure it didn't.

Whenever he would have free time, he would take you to places you would never dream about seeing. Countless vacations, trips and activities you would never be able to experience if it wasn't for him. And for that you will be grateful for the rest of your life.

To not make anyone suspicious, you agreed not to mess around with other people. Though, this particular deal wasn't settled at the beginning. It happened naturally. You couldn't risk being seen with other people, no matter how much you would try to hide it.

You will be watched, it was one of the things Jungkook was preparing you for.

And to be honest, you didn't want to go behind Jungkook's back, no matter how fake this marriage was. It's just a year, you will be fine. 

But having to share a bedroom, and two young people who find each other attractive, it didn't take long for you to succumb yourselves to your desires. There was nothing wrong about sleeping together, you were practically married.

You've found yourselves in a healthy and good relationship where two people became close friends. Even if the marriage is fake. The sex is mindblowing, so none of you actually miss the thrill of hooking up with anyone else. For the first time, Jungkook is committed, even though it's not exactly the way his parents think it is. 

And there he is. 

After politely knocking on the door and hearing his voice to invite you in, you open the door and find him sitting behind his desk. He looks fine as always, a few buttons unbuttoned to show how comfortable he allows himself to feel after a two hours long meeting. His suit is draped over the chair while he's slouched on the chair with a pen twirling between his long fingers.

“No lunch this time?” he asks, tilting his brow at you when he sees your empty hands.

You crack a smile, making your way to his desk while you sit on the small white leather couches. “Sorry, came straight from work.”

“It's fine,” he chuckles, “I'm only joking. How's the new employee?”

One of your dreams was to open your business. Jungkook helped you every step of the way, supported you in more ways than financially, while he helped to make your final decision. You've decided to own a clothing brand where you connected with amazing designers who helped to make your dream come true. Two years ago, you didn't even know it was something you'd like to do. 

Opening your e-shop has been absolutely amazing, making sure any body type is able to find their size. It's actually very rare in Korea to do that and you love to bring something new to the table. Jungkook liked the idea. You invested everything from your previous job to this project of yours. Living with Jungkook and not having to worry about any bills allowed you to freely focus and invest in your business. Sure, Jungkook must've helped but he was more than happy to do so. 

With your help, he got his parents off his back. 

After a year, he would tell them you decided to break it off. He's sure they won't pressure him into any other relationship or marriage after the divorce. If they do, he will handle it in a different way.

“He's great,” you smile, “Actually does the job this time, compared to the last one.” 

Jungkook laughs a little, knowing how tense you've been about this one particular employee who wasn't doing his job. Jungkook encouraged you to take care of it, and showed you you have to think about your business more than people's hearts. Especially to someone who's getting paid and not doing their job. 

Jungkook has been your guide from day one. A huge help.

“Great,” he nods, twirling the pen a few times before he tosses it on his desk. “I'm getting off work earlier today, should be home at six. Is that alright?” 

He sounds so gentle, the way he says home makes your heart squeeze.

“Yeah, sure.” you tell him. 

You've made plans for tonight, have been preparing yourself to talk to him about your deal. It's been a year and three months after your marriage, yet it's not ending and he has never brought this topic up.

“I'm meeting Jungseok in an hour, then I'm going home to prepare dinner for us.” you inform him, completely missing the way Jungkook's face drops at the mention of your close friend.

You've met him during your marriage, though there were no boundaries crossed, the man seemed to show an awful interest in a married woman. The worst thing about it is that he can't really say anything about it because technically, you're not really his. He knows you're not having anything serious with the mentioned man, though he's aware of your deal.

And he doesn't like any of it. 

“Oh, I didn't know.” he tries to say lightly, hating how tight his throat suddenly feels. 

“Ah, he texted me this morning. We haven't seen each other for a while now, we usually just text.” 

Oh, like that's not enough.

The amount of times the man decided to suddenly text you is hilarious. Fuck, he would even call when Jungkook was balls deep inside you and he actually feared you will pick up the call, instead of finishing what you had going on. Luckily, that never happened but it pissed Jungkook to the core. 

“Mhm,” he hums, scratching his chin. “Well, I've got one last meeting but that shouldn't take long.”

You both talk for a moment, catching up with each other's day before you discuss the dinner plans. Jungkook sees you're a little on edge these days and though he thinks he knows why, there's this unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.

In the middle of your giggling, you're interrupted by a gentle knock from Jungkook's assistant, informing him of his meeting. 

However, he doesn't go to the meeting board room like he usually does, he actually invites the person to his office. And when that person is someone you've grown to know, someone very well-known in the CEO community, you do everything in your power to be polite and welcoming. 

She's special partner, even you can see that and you know zero fuck about Jungkook's business. He treats her differently.

He welcomes her with a warm smile and of course, you're forced to bid goodbye to your husband as you part your ways. The kiss you and Jungkook share feels great, especially with her eyes on you two.

And you know you're petty.

But it seems to be the least of your worries because tonight, you might end everything you and Jungkook settled on. But it's only fair because in the end – that was the deal. 

You should've known it would end up like this. 

But how could you? 

Could you have really known? 

The dinner was delicious. Just the two of you like every other evening. Talking, laughing, smiling…

Until you brought up your fake marriage. 

“It's because of him, isn't it?” Jungkook chuckles bitterly, throwing a tantrum like a little kid while you gape at him completely stunned.

Out of all responses, you never expected him to get so… upset over something he came up with. 

“What?” You find your voice, breathing out confusingly. “This has nothing to do with him.”

“Oh, please.” he scoffs, turning away from you to grip the kitchen's counter. “You always text, you even meet him during your lunch breaks.”

All of that is true. Well, you don't always text with him. And you want to point that out, but something stops you and justifying your relationship with Jungkook seems like a bigger priority.

“Jungkook, this marriage is fake.” you inform him as if he didn't know. 

You're confused. 

His shoulders tense, knuckles whiten from how tightly he's gripping the expensive marble counter. 

“All of it has been fake then?” he asks, still not facing you which starts to worry you for some reason. 

You haven't seen Jungkook acting like this. Upset, maybe a little. Not in the mood? Rarely but it happened. But this time you're actually left totally confused. 

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, Y/N,” he chuckles, shaking his head slightly as he slowly turns around. 

You're met with a pained expression, a single look at his face causing you to feel a sting in your heart.

“I know we started this as an arrangement, a convenience for both of us… but is that all it's been for you all this time?” he asks, slowly stepping closer to your distraught form. 

“Jungkook.”

“No,” he says, “Answer me.”

And then he stands right in front of you, his entire figure hovering over you as if you were the littlest thing in the room. Like you're this little lost girl – not the confident woman you've grown to be. 

“Do you want this divorce?”

Do you want it? 

What is he even asking?

“That was the deal.” you remind him silently as he presses his lips tightly. 

He doesn't look pleased with your response but you can't bring yourself to say something more. 

“So, what? We get divorce and then you're going to him?”

“Why do you keep bringing him into this?” you ask, brows scrunching as Jungkook clenches his jaw. “Are you jealous?”

“If I was?”

That shuts you up for a minute, eyes widening. Jungkook never really had a reason to be jealous, not that you were together in reality. But you had each other – none of you messed around with other people.

“There's nothing going on between me and him. Never will.” you whisper, gasping when Jungkook suddenly cups one side of your face with his big palm. 

He presses his forehead against yours, breathing slowly and calmly as if his heart wasn't about to explode.

“Give me a chance.”

“A chance?” you whisper.

“Yes,” he says, “To prove to you that this could work.”

“Jungkook–”

“I love you Y/N, don't you get it?” he suddenly exclaims, pushing himself off you while he rubs his forehead in frustration. 

“But–”

“But what? I can't?”

Even being frustrated, he looks handsome as ever. His hair is getting too long, almost always falling to his eyes and hiding the beautiful color in them. 

“I didn't say that.”

That makes him whine. He actually whines – like all the times he has done it when he was frustrated. You would always giggle, finding him adorable for acting like a little kid when he's a whole grown-ass man, a successful and well-known CEO at that. It's one of the things you appreciate about him. 

Looking at him, you realize the three words he confessed to you in the midst of his frustration. It starts to kick in and your eyes widen again.

You might look fine, maybe a little shaken up but fine, but this isn't any easier for you. You've been thinking about every single word you would say, replaying different scenarios every free second you had. You don't know what the afterlife is after Jungkook. In all honesty, you aren't keen to find out. But you had to do this. 

To protect yourself and your heart.

You could go on and on with this for who knows how long. You like Jungkook's company and hearing him confessing his true feelings to you, which is still a bit shocking to you, you might actually feel the same. You've been so in denial, for the longest time actually.

“Do you really love me?” You find yourself asking. 

Jungkook's cheeks redden and he does the typical Jungkook thing when he is nervous. He scratches his ear and avoids your gaze. 

“Isn't that what I said?” he mutters.

You turn your back to him, tracing your shaking fingers over your lips. 

“Talk to me please.” he suddenly whines after a minute of silence. 

Just as you're about to turn around, your back is pressed against Jungkook's chest as you gasp. Jungkook wraps you in a back hug, lips touching the top of your head. 

“I don't want to lose you.” he confesses shyly. The frustrated and upset Jungkook is long gone.

Your heart melts, moving your body into action as you turn around. For a second, Jungkook looks scared you're trying to pry his hands off you to get away from him. But in reality you offer him the sweetest smile. Your hands find his ones as you grip them tight. 

“I… I don't want divorce.” you confess. 

“But you brought it up.”

“Simply because that was our deal. I was scared you're gonna bring it up and it's going to be too late for me. I didn't know what I felt… but hearing you–I love you too.”

Jungkook gasps, searching your face frantically as if you just pulled the biggest prank on him. 

“You do?” 

“Yes. I don't want anyone else, Jungkook.” you admit.

And then his face breaks into the biggest smile, your own soon cupped by his large hands as he gives you a big kiss. You kiss him back, squeezing his wrists because you need to feel him. You need to know he's not going anywhere. He's right where he is supposed to be. 

And so are you. 

“Yes, right there!” 

The sound of crashing waves from the outside is a white noise, no longer properly acknowledged as you barely recognize your own voice and the desperation behind it.

“Jungkook, please, just fuck me.” you whine, raising your hips off the mattress to meet his hungry mouth.

He lifts his head up from between your thighs, lips completely glistening and wet as he frowns. “But I wanna eat you out first.” he whines this time and while your heart does the weird jump it always does when it comes to him, you find yourself smiling his way. 

“There is enough time for that. Please. I need to feel you.” you plead with him.

He's thinking about it. You see the uncertainty on his face and while he loves to go down on you, he can't disobey his wife who's pleading so nicely for him.

Your body aches from your previous activities. You had eight hours (precisely) to recover when you fell asleep in the arms of the man you love. Your husband. It still gives you the same ticklish feeling in your chest and the pit of your stomach but this time, it's actually true. It's not official on the papers but in your heart too. Ah, god… it sounds so cheesy but all you want to do is to giggle like a teenage girl about how much in love you are with this man.

He stares at you with those doe eyes, still wearing the ponytail he made to wear while working out. But you messed up his plans. Flattered those pretty eyelashes at him and the most angelic smile, sheets sliding off your naked and marked body.

Oh, how many times Jungkook made love to you because you felt insecure. He never knew you feel that way about yourself – about the body he loves and wouldn't change for anything. Because it's you. 

You love this man so much that you have to show him. Now it's your turn.

You get on top of him, just how he loves and enjoys having you. Letting him enter you for what seems like the hundredth time over these past seven days, you both moan in pleasure. He holds you close to him, letting you take the charge as he occasionally thrusts his hips into you. The pleasure increases with each minute and you grow weaker for this man.

Bodies becoming one, the sweet “I love you's” are exchanged in breathless moans.

“I love you so much,” Jungkook moans into your ear, your walls tightening around him. “My sweet love. My angel.” 

This is your second anniversary. Technically your first one where you truly celebrate your marriage, making love all day long. And after so many nights of keeping thing adventurous and fun, letting Jungkook to fuck you into the mattress and everywhere in the vila he rented for this special occasion, making love just feels right. 

You both come together in a record time.

Jungkook fills you up like many times before, the sensation making your legs buckle. You calm down in one another's hold, Jungkook's strong arms around you as he peppers kisses all over the side of your face. 

“I was thinking.” Jungkook starts.

“Oh.”

“Hey!” he laughs, shifting on his spot as you finally lay down next to him, ear pressed against his chest where you hear his heartbeat. “How about we start a family?”

“What?” you gasp, lifting your head immediately to look at him as he gives you a shy grin. 

“I know we're together for one year, officially, but I've been thinking about our future and–”

You shut him up with a kiss to his surprised lips while he melts, relaxing under your touch. 

“Yes.”

“Yes?” he squeals, “Just like that? Yes? I didn't even tell you the speech I prepared.” 

You giggle, “You can tell me later.” you assure him as he chuckles.

“So? Are we gonna do it? Us? Parents?”

You giggle how out of his element he seems to be. It makes you love him even more as you caress his chest before you stare deeply into his soft brown eyes. You brush a few of his hair off his face and send him another angelic smile. 

“I can't wait to have your baby, Mr. Jeon.”

Jungkook laughs, throwing his head back before he looks at you all lovingly, cupping your cheek. 

“I was afraid you would never say it, Mrs. Jeon.”

[spacexseven]

no but why is everyone so MEAN to the rat like I know he deserves it but you know maybe be a little nice??

Also imagine if god darling completely ignores him but then starts being all friendly to nikolai and sigma?

cw: yandere character, jealousy

nikolai easily catches onto your plans, especially when it concerns messing with fyodor.

he's thrilled at the realization that you were doing this on purpose, knowing the reason fyodor was looking so distressed lately was because you were refusing to entertain him even for a moment. though you never asked him to help you make him angrier, nikolai would never miss an opportunity to make the unmovable fyodor dostoevsky tremble in anger or burn with jealousy.

the best part of his plan, as he pitched it to you, was that none of this was anything new. you've always liked nikolai for his unabashed honesty, and for how unafraid he was of you. it was nice to be treated as something real, human, even. which was why you've always entertained his silly tricks and gestures, even if it meant he was splayed out on your lap and rambling about something you couldn't care all that much about. he's ready to play it up even more; if only to get on fyodor's nerves.

but it hadn't occurred to fyodor that you'd treat anyone else any more warmer than you treated him.

a strange mix of frustration, shock and a tinge of envy is all you can make out when he comes in as usual only to find nikolai wandering around your room, eagerly telling you all about his plans, and you're actually responding with "yes, nikolai," and "that sounds fun," and "i'd love to see that sometime."

here you were, having a conversation with the clown when you only ever looked at him like one would view a bug. and when he walked into the room, you didn't even spare him a glance, opting to politely clap when nikolai brings out more books from his coat.

sigma, too, had earned your favor.

it wasn't on purpose, at least not at first. sigma is hard to dislike, and harder to ignore. not when he's obviously seeking you out for help. he relies on you more than you think he should, and develops a strange attachment to you. this, too, fyodor notices. and he also notices your lack of a reaction to the fact.

the man who was merely another pawn in his plan had found himself a place by your side. a place where he could talk to you casually and you'd respond, often with some form of advice. you didn't ignore him, didn't glare when he lingered for a moment longer than he should, didn't scowl at him for talking to you or looking at you. it was everything fyodor yearned to have with you, even if he forced himself to be satisfied with the meager offerings he had now

it was quite clear that you were playing favourites.

fyodor is above whining or crying, but he wasn't just going to accept the situation. for one, he sends nikolai away and keeps sigma busy with the casino. and then, he considers changing his approach. was it his plans you disliked? but when nikolai told you all about his homicidal plans, you nodded along, never once complaining. then, was it him you disliked? he thinks back to your initial meeting—you had seemed a lot calmer, then. a lot more receptive to his ideas. you were curious about him, at least, weren't you? so was it the way he treated you that you disliked? the huge distance and enormous respect, the impossible expectations he had of you. or maybe, you just didn't want to play god in his plans. except...he couldn't have that. not when everything he was doing was for you, your lost glory, your forgotten name.

if you knew that he'd do anything to earn back your favor, then, would you finally spare him some time?

[billthedrake]

I was inspired by the latest hot story by @maturedadsandmen. He gave me the blessing to write a riff on the premise. It started out as a prequel but became something else. Thanks to him for the inspiration and for the permission to let me adapt his idea.

WHAT HAPPENS IN FRANKFURT

"So, Trent..." I said as we settled into the business-class seats on the transatlantic leg of our flight. "Whadya have to promise Becky to get to come for a week?"

My friend and golf buddy shrugged. He's a big guy, 6'5", real muscular with a good deal of middle aged padding on his thick, ex-jock beef. Good thing I had scored the plush seats with my miles, because I couldn't imagine the poor guy squeezing into economy. Even now in his jeans and button-down shirt, the sight of him got me going. From the twinkle in his eyes, I could tell he was maybe feeling the same about me.

"It's not a week," he corrected.

"Pretty close," I smiled. We were flying to Frankfurt for the Chiefs-Dolphins game, but tacking on a few days in Bavaria for the typical guy-trip stuff. Beer halls and outdoors time. Stuff our wives had no interest in.

"I didn't have to promise Becky anything... what, is that something Heather expects?" he asked with genuine surprise.

I nodded. "Fuck yeah, that's something she expects," I said. "She's already planning the Napa wine trip."

Trent smiled. He had a personality that was laid back almost to the point of being taciturn, so I always found him especially handsome when he smiled.

Yeah, me and Trent have a thing. A sexual connection, an affair, whatever you want to call it. Sometimes we talk about it, sometimes we sweep the complications under the rug. But it had been a solid six months since our last time having sex and with the prospect of this trip together for six days, there was just this unspoken sexual tension between us. SOMETHING was gonna happen, all right.

"Didn't she just do that for one of her girls trips?" my friend chuckled.

Our wives got along OK but weren't close friends outside of my and Trent's bond. I was always surprised that Trent was able to keep up with my wife's doings.

"Oh yeah," I said. "Only she wants to go back with just me. You know, do something romantic. I don't even wanna know how much the cases of wine are gonna set me back."

That got a belly laugh out of my buddy. It was a running joke between us. He was the hunky ex-football player who ran his own construction company. I was the number-crunching corporate exec who admittedly had the MUCH deeper bisexual streak, to the point I carried around a lot of what-ifs in my middle age. But I was the one who was more bro-ish. Maybe I wasn't quite the sexist asshole I played up, but Trent gave me some real eye rolls from time to time.

"You can afford it, buddy," he chastised me. "And a lot fucking more."

I started to reply but he held up a finger in warning. "Don't you even pull that 'happy wife, happy life' BS." He was smirking.

"Dude... you gonna bust my balls this whole trip?"

I saw a naughty look sweep across my buddys masculine, handsome face as he leaned. "Whaddya think, Josh?"

I bit my lip and did as casual a crotch adjustment as I could. Trent had given me a full-on boner.

I knew Trent was chubbed too. It had been THAT long since we'd fooled around. Sometimes it was lack of opportunity, but my buddy likes to put the breaks on a lot. Probably for the best, since I had zero self-control, around him or in general. When I was 35 I had to vow never to go to Vegas again. This affair had a different kind of high stakes, but it felt like an extension of my addictive personality.

But my hunky buddy was pulling back now, putting in his earbud and pulling up his iPad to watch some shows he'd downloaded.

I had a book. Some stupid spy novel that let me get my mind off of work. Trent teased me for bringing the office with me, and on the first leg I'd caught up on a bunch of emails. I'd have more stuff to do in Germany, but I'd worry about that later. Trent told me I should set boundaries with my company, but hell it was my work travel that was getting us these business class seats and the hotel rooms on points and I'd probably cover the majority of our meals, too...

I took a breath and paused. I had this dickish thing where I'd enjoy treating people in my life - spoiling my wife or picking up the tab with my buddies - then I'd get resentful or controlling. I was lucky to have a travel buddy like Trent. Even if we didn't suck or fuck at all this next week. Though God knows I hope we did.

I put on my noise-canceling headphones and picked up my book.

****

"You gentlemen here for the game?" the concierge asked.

I'd booked us at a chain hotel in the old city. The guy at the desk was in the typical hotel uniform - vest and tie - and I was immediately attracted to him. Early 30s I'd guess, light brown hair, almost boyish in his handsome looks, though he had the kind of athletic build that comes with doing sports, maybe soccer, or rock climbing or something. I had a soft spot for German guys, I'll admit. They always seemed to have that boy next door thing going on, with a naughty side beneath.

Or maybe it was just the slightly clipped, more formal accent.

"Yes, sir," Trent said. "You got a lot of folks in town for it, I suppose." It was a trip to see my not-so-chatty buddy get all Midwest now that he was abroad.

I couldn't tell if the desk man was trying to humor us, but he replied back to Trent's small talk with a smile. "It seems so, yes."

I felt like I had to pull Trent away. He was asking for restaurant and bar recommendations, asking for the guy's first name, the whole works.

"What?" he asked, not quite annoyed as I shook my head in the elevator.

"Dude, you don't know how much I'm looking forward to a hot shower. Wash some of that jet lag off."

He seemed contrite. "You should have told me buddy. I honestly didn't think we'd get into the room early." It was nearly noon, but we were ahead of check-in time a little.

"I guess it'll be good to stretch the legs some this afternoon, get in some sun and fresh air?"

He nodded. "Looks like a nice day."

We rolled our luggage down to our rooms and entered the clean but soulless business hotel room.

"You go first," he said. "I'm gonna call Becky and let her know we're here." I knew from Trent's account that his wife was an early riser, a yoga devotee who got an early start on her day. I'd text Heather in a bit and call her later.

"Yep," I said, already pulling off my sweatshirt and kicking off my sneakers.

The shower felt good. No, it felt great. I could have stood under for much longer, but I didn't want to hold things up. I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair and turned off the water. I was just as quick drying off and putting product in my hair. I took one look in the mirror. Not so bad for 46, I thought. I'd gotten into Crossfit lately and tried to eat clean, saving beer and junk food for game days or the nineteenth hole with the guys. I was shorter than Trent, 5'9" and some, even if I rounded up to 5'10" when I told people my height. Everything was looking pretty sculpted and hard and compact, and the thick blond fur on my torso was groomed and trimmed.

"You fucking narcissist," I thought. I wrapped the towel around my waist and opened the door, letting the steam out.

"Damn, that felt nice," I said to Trent. He was waiting for me, stripped down to his boxer briefs. It took me a second to realize what was in his hand, but it was a portable enema kit.

"I know you wanna hit the sights, buddy... but maybe I can clean out for you, first?" he asked. An excited glint in his eye but also some embarrassment. It had taken some convincing to get my hunky friend to bottom for me and even more sweet talking to get him to do a deeper prep. But it turns out Trent loved getting his ass eaten out, and he knew I'd go at it more freely and fervently if he was squeaky clean.

"God yes," I said. "I guess vacation starts for real, huh?" I said. Already I was chubbing beneath the towel.

He nodded with a grin, clearly excited by how easily I got turned on.

I let him do his thing while I texted Heather and answered a couple of work emails. I set down my phone and took off my towel, hanging it up in the closet. I pulled down the sheets on one of the double beds. My dick wasn't hard at first but as I lay down naked, I thought of Trent's hunky ass and meaty body. I thought of the reception guy and what it would be like to watch him and Trent go at it before I came in and fucked that German stud hard and fast from behind.

I was rock hard now. I thought of picking my phone back up and scrolling through some porn but decided I'd enjoy the more purely mental excitement I was filling. Just enjoy the moment of being in a hotel room with my good buddy and sometimes fuck buddy. For a whole week. I shut my eyes and let my sexual fantasies visualize themselves.

"Dang," I heard, snapping my eyes open. Maybe I'd been dozing some, but apparently my prick wasn't. "I never get sick of seeing that cock of yours."

I'm not huge, but I'm big, and my endowment looks bigger on my frame. I smiled and spread my legs, showing my meat off to Trent.

"OK if I suck it first?" he said, stepping up. In the big mitt of his right hand he had a small bottle of lube, which he set on the night stand.

"When have I ever said no to that?" I asked.

"Bro," Trent retorted, "You're such an ass-man... you can have a one-track mind sometimes." I felt defensive and I was gonna say something, but Trent got on all fours and crawled toward me. He was such a big guy, tall and beefy, that it was never anything short of mind-blowing to see him in such a posture. Already his hand was on my quad muscle, rubbing it in a way that sent electricity right to my boner. "It's OK bud. It's a good look on you," he said in a hushed, sexy voice.

Then he leaned forward to get a closer look at my crotch. Inches away close, and I could feel his breath on my dong. Trent's brown eyes were on my dick, only flitting up to my face occasionally.

"What happens in Frankfurt, right?" he growled.

"Fuck yeah," I hissed. When I started up with my buddy, I just thought I was scratching that bisexual itch. And yeah it was naughty fun. Clearly I fantasized about other men, too. But I was coming face to face with the reality that no one turned me on so much or so effortlessly like my 52 year old friend.

His first licks were a get-reacquainted approach. It had been a while since he'd taken care of me. I sucked him too, and on a blue moon bottomed for the stud. But this is what we did the first time we fooled around, and it felt like our own private anniversary ritual.

"That's it, buddy," I hissed. Trent had that combo of not-quite-skilled and very enthusiastic that appealed to me more than I realized. Outside of my times with Trent, I'd only had dude sex a couple times behind Heather's back, and those guys were better cocksuckers. But not better, you know? They weren't Trent Grayson.

My buddy coughed some on my dick as he swallowed more. Not a gag, but a grunt that said he was fighting back that initial reflex. Instantly my fingers went to the back of his neck. "Easy, bro... you got this."

He did, too. After that initial shock, he was working more of me into his gullet, over and over, faster and faster.

"FUCK!" I gasped, my eyes wide as I watched my best bud deep throat me with silky steady mouth strokes. "Buddy... if you don't let up," I warned, my breath ragged. I normally wasn't this quick at the draw, but I hadn't gotten off the last couple of days. My balls were drawn up tight.

Trent spit me out, a satisfied smile on his face. He knew he'd done a great job.

"You been practicing?" I asked. "You haven't done THAT before," I said.

"I may have gotten a toy to work on," he admitted with a wink.

"Yeah?" I asked, my chest heaving in excitement. My dick was twitching in time with my heartbeat. "When was that, bud?"

Those brown eyes were hungry and playful and sexy as fuck. "When we booked this trip."

"And here I was worried I was gonna push up against some boundaries with you this week," I said.

Trent nodded and leaned up. He was excited all right, his medium-sized tool rock hard and wet at the tip. My buddy had a beefy build that was something shy of a dad bod, but he was real and muscled head to toe, and his size meant he carried the mid-section girth well. "You probably will," he answered honestly. "Hell, I know you well, Josh," he added.

"Yeah," I admitted. Chastised some. I was the one of us who got carried away. But this man was so incredible, body and soul.

Trent didn't seem too fazed. Or maybe the sexual heat was winning out. He turned to face away from me so I could see that broad back, that short hair cut with the gray fringe and the balding spot on top, that round daddy ass fitting a tall, athletic man.

That ass was backing up toward, the buns getting closer. Trent didn't shave down there, he somehow naturally had a smooth ass, except for deep in the crack.

"You gonna...?" I asked. Or started to ask. Already the big guy was leaning forward and spreading his legs, opening that crevice right up for my gaze. Softly furry with that neglected crinkled pucker in the center, freshly cleaned for me.

My hands were already on his butt doing the rest of the work to part the cheeks as I dove in.

"Oh god yes," Trent hissed. "I've been thinking about this... so much."

I licked softly at first. Giving some gentle kisses beween a more exploratory approach to his hole and trench. Then I gripped his ass more tightly and started drilling in. I couldn't even say I was an expert at rimming. I just loved it and went at it, hard. Slurping and sucking. Munching and tonguing. Alternating my moves in part because I just fricking loved it all.

Trent loved it too. I still think he had hang ups when it came to anal. I know I did. We were two men unwilling to relinquish what we considered the more masculine role. I'd probably put up with his misgivings this week, and he might try to break down my hesitation to bottom. We'd see. For now, though, it was clear that I was even more into eating out a male cunt than actual pussy, and Trent enjoyed the oral treatment to his hole.

Finally, I pulled back, practically growling into his spit wet trench. "Dude, I gotta be in you. Now."

I expected some pushback, but instead Trent was scrambling his big body. Moving forward and pivoting around. His prick was outright dripping now, a thin strand of clear sap swayed from his tip. I wondered how many days he'd held off from sex or jerking off.

Hurriedly he reached over and got some lube in his palm, eagerly reaching back behind. "Let me ride," he said. "It's been a while."

I nodded and rode out a deep couple of breaths while he lined my prick up to his wet buns and settled back on me.

The initial penetration stung some for him, but quickly he relaxed.

"That's nice," he muttered as he sank down a couple more inches. He got a grin on his face. "I love how hard you get, Josh."

"Jesus buddy," I hissed. I'd had to sweet talk him into barebacking a little over a year ago. Now, every time I entered him was pure bliss. Silky, warm, and drum-tight. "I'm like that everytime I'm with you."

"I know," Trent replied. "I fucking love it." He settled further back and my cock popped past the last bit of tightness. Suddenly, Trent was sitting all the way in my lap and his guts were gripping my boner in spasms.

"You good?" I asked with concern. But a little hesitant to ask, because this was all VERY good for me.

"Yep," he said. He reached down and wrapped his lubey fist around his hard on, smearing this own sap to add to the slickness. His initial strokes made his ass clench down tighter on me, then the self pleasuring helped his body relax into it.

Within a minute of settling down on me, Trent began to lift his burly body up off my dick a couple of inches, only to swivel back down.

This was the almost feminine part of our mating that Trent felt self conscious about. Working my bone with a slutty hip motion. But I'd told him that starting slower is much better for me, and it turned out to be better for Trent, letting him build up the stimulation of his prostate as we locked eyes.

Our fuck was silent now, other than the sloshy slick sounds where his ass connected to my dick and the soft bounce of the bed. Trent's a heavy man, in the mid 200s on the scale, and my dense muscle added to it, too.

I watched him get into it, watch the pleasure grow on his face. This is what surprised me with Trent. I thought sex with dudes was simply about getting my rocks off, but I loved giving this man pleasure. Giving him an orgasm. I was about to give him one now.

"You're getting close," he said in his deep gravely voice. Not a question. Trent could read it on my face, register my impending cum before I did.

"Oh yeah," I hissed. It was arriving fast now, that crest of pleasure, like an ocean swell that breaks right in front of you. My fingers gripped his hard quads, maybe a little too hard, just seconds before I felt his hot spray of semen jet onto my bare chest muscle. Then another, then another. All heavy wads of bleachy-floral seed raining onto me. I was pounding out a mammoth load from this beautiful man.

My own cock was firing now, matching Trent's in its heaviness. "Fuck!" I whimpered. Trent sometimes teased me for the way my voice would get higher pitched when I came. But our nearly simultaneous O meant we were synched in our lust and deep connection.

Finally Trent's hips slowed and he eased off. Some semen came out on the dismount but he clenched up to stop the rest as he plopped down on the spare side of the bed. The double mattress didn't hold out two big bodies easily, Trent's especially but he kind of snuggled up to me in an uncharacteristic intimacy and rested his face on my shoulder. Lazily his hands ran along my torso, smearing his own cum into my chest fur.

"You have an incredible body, Josh," he said.

My dick hadn't gone down. I was drained and not ready to fuck again or anything, but I was still pretty keyed up. I kissed his forehead. I didn't want to push the guy too far but figured he'd initiated this closeness. "Yeah?" I asked. I knew we enjoyed a physical chemistry, but Trent had never complimented me like this, even though I sometimes gushed over his body.

He ran his hand down my ripped abs. I didn't have the body of a 26 year old, but I kept my core tight and knotted.

"I've been afraid to tell you," he said.

"Really?" I asked. Trent didn't seem to be afraid of things.

"You can get a little conceited," he said, brusquely.

This was the Trent-and-Josh thing. Teasing each other. Humble guy and the corporate exec. But something about his words seemed to cut deeper. "I don't know what to say," I said softly.

He patted my stomach. "You're you, Josh. I understand ya, buddy. And I know I'm not easy to get along with." His hand drifted lower and wrapped around my cock, which was still rigid as just a minute earlier. "In all fairness, you have good reason to be conceited."

I wanted to kiss this guy, so bad, but that was against our bro code. "If I get to be too much, buddy..." I started. "Well, I just don't want this week to be weird."

Trent looked up. "It's not gonna be weird, Josh. Football... beer... hot steamy hotel sex... what more can you want?"

"Nothing, man," I growled. I enjoyed the soft touch of his hand as he explored my dick. Finally with a sigh, I spoke up, "I will absolutely fall asleep if we keep lying here... maybe get out for a bit?"

Trent didn't answer but just scooted away from our tight embrace, edging his big tall body off the bed. I watched him walk to the bathroom to clean off.

Somehow, the spell had been broken.

[inchidentally]

Crown Prince Lando AU idea based entirely on his appearance today in Italy for his trophy and Lawrence writing about how every team is courting Lando

okay so I wrote this rly fast on the work laptop and you have to just ignore the weird interpretations of how royalty and inheritance etc works. and completely fucking with how things went down in F1 history. it's an absolute mess and possibly unreadable but I literally couldn't stop myself.

if you're a fic author then pleaaaaase have a look and see if you can take this and actually make anything out of it even if it needs a lot of changes.

Crown Prince Lando has been fought over by nations since he was seventeen years old. His parents had retired from royal duties to live quietly in the countryside but a series of deaths and lack of heirs resulted in Lando living most of his life being prepared for ascension to the throne. His parents did as good a job as they could to keep Lando humble and "normal" while having to live a kind of sequestered monastic existence.

As he grew so did his future subjects' love and adoration of him. They loved his humor and his cheeky treatment of the solemn institution surrounding him. As he grew into being a beauty the country took endless pride in him and watched his exploits as a touring royal closely.

Fernando Alonso was the first to pledge his troth to Prince Lando because he could see the promise in Lando of one day becoming a truly beloved ruler - a quality he himself had found wanting in his own slow gathering of power. However he was persuaded early on by his advisers and Lando's parents to withdraw due to his 'already advanced age'. Lando's debut at court was postponed by his parents to prevent any other establishment attempting to lay their claim before Lando felt comfortable and ready.

The powerful Sainz Vázquez de Castro family swooped in next and arranged a series of public meetings between Prince Lando and their wicked (meaning "experienced") and devastatingly handsome son Carlos Jr. His charisma and dark eyes charmed Prince Lando immediately and a wedding date was set for the following year. Lando's debut at court was hastily arranged to happen mere days prior. Probably should insert something here about Lando being made to live this period of life in a guarded tower and attendants being present whenever he was with Carlos because chastity being required for marriage. And the only way to keep Carlos' dick out of Lando was the threat of a priest's guard cutting it off. But lbr they manage to sneak around well enough to do everything else.

Unfortunately the royal courts of Europe were shaken by a quick series of upsets: Sovereign Prince Lorenzo of Monaco abdicated the throne in search of a quieter life - his heart had never been in it since his father, the former sovereign, had become ill and abdicated. This left Lorenzo's unwed brother Charles to be hastily crowned Prince Regent at the tender age of 22 (and unable to become sovereign himself due to being a second son, again my weird rules). As a result Charles suffered the loss of his long-time suitor, nobleman Sebastian Vettel, who couldn't bear the thought of being sovereign let alone of a land that wasn't even his own.

Enter the Sainz Vázquez de Castro elders siezing the opportunity and negotiating a deal with Monaco in private conclave with the Papal State (??) to wed their son Carlos to the Prince Regent. Carlos is ashamed at giving in to the temptation… to not just be King Consort but to be Sovereign Prince, to rule over the vast wealth of Monaco and by extension the Holy See, to have the coveted beauty Charles in his bed. So he agrees to be spirited away to Monaco and the ugly business of dissolving his betrothal to Lando is left to members of church and state.

But Carlos experiences a complete conversion when Charles is on his knees in the cathedral - looking up at him with docile green eyes as Carlos' fingertips touch the warm red roses of Charles' lips as he holds the chalice of holy wine for Charles to drink. Carlos was almost hard beneath the ermine and velvet robes in a house of God when the crown was on his head and Charles next to him - and slightly below - smiling up at him with filaments of gold hanging from pendants on his chaplet, framing his achingly beautiful face. If Carlos feels his immense happiness and prosperity darken whenever he sees Lando's picture or encounters him at one of the courts then no one need know.

Prince Lando is of course too heartbroken to consider other suitors and his court is demoralized by their own failure to seal his future. Only brash American tycoon Zak Brown keeps the faith that Lando's appeal as he grows will land him a better match than any Euro old money looking to aggrandize themselves and take advantage of Lando's youth to displace his rightful future as King.

A stroke of genius is the arrival of commoner Daniel Ricciardo whose rise up the ranks of society has hit more than a few speedbumps over the years. He's in the perfect position to act as placeholder and a sort of 'playmate' for the young Prince Regent. Daniel does the job of squiring Lando around and cheering him up beautifully. So beautifully that Daniel begins to see in his charge's wide eyes a future that he had only ever let himself dream of before. He begins to publicly push the boundaries of propriety with Lando like holding hands, embracing him from behind, dancing scandalously close together. The dam begins to break when Daniel opens a public social media account and begins posting adoring and fairly intimate videos of Lando that prove to be a massive hit with the public… and that fan rumours of the Crown Prince breaking with tradition and marrying a commoner.

Exeunt Daniel Ricciardo.

(Yes I know this isn't remotely his role but go with it) Newly appointed Lord Chancellor Andrea Stella proposes that only a candidate the same age as Lando - or ideally younger - should be considered to ensure that his claim to the throne be safeguarded. Because Lando hasn't spent the intervening years doing nothing but swooning over a succession of suitors, he's perfected his role and learned his court and won over the hearts of his people. He's effected harmonious relations with rival kingdoms seemingly effortlessly. The royal coffers have never been so full and trade is booming. Lando and his court all know that Lando could easily rule alone. But the fire that the now King of Monaco had lit inside him refused to go out. It begged to be fueled and to burn brighter.

Then one day Andrea hears a murmur of controversy happening in the middling levels of the aristocracy. The scoundrel Alonso had construed a match between one Oscar Piastri and Frenchman Esteban Ocon as a means of effecting his (Alonso's) escape and aggrandizing the Alpine dynasty. There were further details about a drama between Ocon and countryman Pierre Gasley but all that interested Andrea was that young Piastri had ordered a direct pronouncement be made against the match and any further association with Alpine. He had already rejected the opportunity of being presented at court and clearly had plans for his own future that would not depend on the protection or condescension of any other power but his own.

Imagine Andrea's surprise when Zak Brown announces at the next privy council meeting that preliminary arrangements had been made with young Piastri to be the Crown Prince's companion for the following season. A pretense at Piastri having an interest in royal politics was to be given to everyone, including Piastri himself. But Andrea and Zak shared a knowing look across the mote-stained light straining through the high windows of the old chamber. The Crown Prince barely even hears the details as he wearily signs off on the public notice along with the other endless papers at his elbow. He doesn't even dream that a wildcard is being played for his future happiness.

The eldest son of the prominent and noble Piastri family from Tuscany is suitably beautiful with the characteristic straight brow, fine pale features and soulful deep amber eyes of his people. He is tall and still growing with an effortless regal bearing despite his youth. The first few meetings between him and the Crown Prince are cordial and with a promising warmth. Andrea is encouraged by the pink that rises high on Piastri's pale cheeks whenever he shares smiles with Lando but he's even more encouraged by the steady intensity of his gaze when Lando isn't looking.

For the first few months, Piastri remains a faithful but distant part of Lando's royal retinue. They interact often enough and clearly like each other. But it also comes at a time of unrest in Lando's kingdom as a result of the ascension of an ambitious and possibly ruthless young King in the Netherlands. Lando proposes a visit to Castle Toro Rosso and asks Piastri to accompany them due to the Italian affiliation with the Dutch royal house. Something about Piastri's calm and quiet confidence helps stabilize Lando and he needs all the support he can get.

The visit is strained and the Dutch court is intimidating - and rather grating - in it's brash opulence and show of dominance. The young King is more of a mystery, seeming cold and aloof but flashing a wry smile at Lando's well-known charm and humor. The tide turns entirely in Lando's favor at the tourney. Lando has been barred from jousting following his formal presentation as crown prince due to some finicky archaic British law and it eats away at it him to have to sit and watch while the Dutch King was allowed to ride for himself. More than once Lando moodily pushes at the circlet that keeps slipping over his curls and can feel himself being increasingly bratty and short with his attendants.

Piastri was already reknowned for his prowess in jousting and was automatically given the seat to represent the Crown Prince. When he appeared mounted on a blood bay charger that gleamed almost golden and black in the hot sun (MCL colors kinda??) Lando has A Moment when Piastri tips his visor open and addresses him formally and those intense brown eyes behind the cold armor make him look so much older. Lando causes a stir when he descends from his seat and gives Piastri his favor in the form of a ribbon from one of his full sleeves. They have one of Those Looks between each other before Piastri turns to take his place. He bests every one of his opponents and isn't unseated once.

Then the Dutch King Max Emilian appears and strangely shuns any pageantry associated with a knight's entry, let alone a king's. His Lady sits in his place flanked by both her own and the King's powerful families and court. Lando finds himself suddenly flooded with fear because what would happen if Oscar lost? What would happen if Oscar won? When had he become 'Oscah' and not just Piastri?

The collision unseats both King Max Emilian and Oscar and they draw swords. The fight is precise and clinical and breathtaking. Perhaps it was because of having more to lose or perhaps it was the press of the Crown Prince's lips against the silk ribbon he gave as tribute but Oscar suddenly anticipates a step too far ahead for the young King and a unified gasp is heard when Max Emilian's body hits the dirt. It's instinct that has Oscar's sword held at the King's throat. But when Max Emilian throws his visor back his bloodied mouth is stretched in a wide toothy grin. He barks out a series of high cackles and ceremonially begs mercy. Oscar breathes out in a rush and claps his armored hand around the King's and helps him to his feet. Max Emilian flicks Oscar's visor open for him and lifts his hand declaring Oscar's well-earned victory. Lando forgets himself and leaps up yelling and cheering as his court smiles ruefully over at the stiff, formal "celebrations" coming from the stands opposite.

Holy god I've written way more than I meant to but let's have it finish off with Lando whispering to gain access to the tent where Oscar is undressing and cleaning his wounds. Perhaps his armor has been removed down to the hips the way driver's drop their race suits down after a race. Oscar startles when he sees Lando alone with him and rushes to kneel to him. Maybe Lando puts his hand under Oscar's chin and tells him to rise up and oh maybe seeing Oscar sweaty and dirtied with a cut to one cheek and a few bruises on his body makes him forget himself. Maybe he surges up and kisses Oscar and maybe Oscar is shocked but also feels exactly the same way and kisses him right back. Then probably Oscar decides to make his boldest move yet and says that if Lando doesn't want him then he'll quietly go away - but if Lando does want him then Oscar would welcome the title King Consort, would be proud of it in fact to be in service a king like Lando one day.

Then Lando either passes out because he's been in blue ball hell since Carlos and years worth of arousal hit him all at once or maybe he just whimpers a little and starts wondering how fast a royal wedding can get planned so he can Get That Dick ASAP.

Fin.

[laurentdiroseti]

{Azul Ashengrotto x gn/MC}

"I'll take you deep"

Tags: tentacles, magic potion, smut, tag play, lil bit yandere behavior...

Azul: "you know? Long ago some people said mermaids where fake, what a joke right?"

You didn't know why he brought up that subject. As oblivious as you were, the grin in his face made crystal clear he wasn't having any good intentions.

MC: "what do you mean exactly?"

Azul: "I mean what I mean, mermaids are true and everyone loves them so I found a new way for you to pay the debt you owe me"

You surely don't like where this is going. When Azul has an idea is impossible to make him stop it midway. The chills down your back made you take a slight step back.

Azul: "there's nothing to worry about. You just have to drink this pink liquid and your body will change into a merfolk. But, a word of caution-"

Before he could end the sentence you were running out of his chamber and all across the Mostro Longue. Perhaps, you are lucky it's only the two of you there, since the eel siblings were too busy in a school trip kind of adventure. Those two could stop you for sure, but you knew Azul wasn't that good at sports, so that would give you an advantage.

Or that's what you thought.

Suddenly, something cold grabbed your ankle and you fell on the ground.

When you look down you saw a pitch black tentacle slowly twirling around your leg.

Azul: "I sure don't like to show my true form, but since there's nobody but us here, I don't really care. After all, some sacrifices are needed in business... like your legs I suppose".

He started to come closer. You could feel the gooey and slimmery texture of his tentacles around both of your legs going up your body. You tried to take them away, but he was way too strong and, just for fun, he grabbed your hands too.

Azul: "well, now that you can't move we can start our magic trick. It's a shame you can't use your hands, I suppose I have to make you drink it myself. Now, open wide..."

You fastly closed your lips and gave him a death stare. How could you know that it only turn him on? He loved that situation. After being the one bullied in the past, being in control was extremely exciting for him.

Azul: "don't look at me like that. I'm a predator after all, darling. If you continue being stubborn I'll have to get violent"

Not even a second passed and he was already kissing you with all his might. You felt his tongue pressing against your lips, but you would not give in. Therefore, he moved one of his tentacles up between your tights and made pressure on your intimate parts. That made you jolt and open your mouth a little. Given that opportunity, he didn't hesitate to put his tongue in and explore the inside of your mouth entirely. You didn't know he had such a long tongue, he played with yours, pressing it, grabbing it, making circles around it. You stopped thinking for a frame of a second. Pleasure and lack of air were making you weak on your already held knees.

When you were about to fade, he let go and let you grasp air just to fill your throat with that magical beverage. He watched silently as you swallow everything.

Azul: "as I was saying before. Better beware, the potion could hurt a little. But it's okay it only will be ten seconds".

Your body started shaking and it hurted a lot. Your fingertips were getting numb, you started losing control of your legs, the pain made it harder and harder to breathe.

Azul: "shh, it's okay, it's okay, just hold me tight like that. I won't let you go, so just lay on me".

You did as he said, but you wouldn't let him get away with this, so you bit his neck with all your might. Then, you heard a sweet sound coming out of his mouth as the taste of iron came into your mouth.

Azul: "darling, are we getting agressive? Because, I won't be able to control myself no more".

--- to continue?

[billystoilet]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences.

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence. Major Character Death.

Categories: M/M. F/M. Other.

Fandoms: Saw (Movies). Insidious (Movies).

Relationships: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight/Lawrence Gordon.

Characters: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight. Lawrence Gordon. Diana Gordon. Alison Gordon. Amanda Young. Mark Hoffman. Allison Kerry. David (Saw 0.5). Specs (Insidious). Scott Tibbs. Original Characters.

Language: English

Words: 5,015

**

“I-I wouldn’t lie to you.”

The words repeated over and over in Adam's head, stinging his aching heart as bile rose and settled in his throat. Ricocheting off the walls, echoing louder and louder even though they were only in his mind. He could feel his chest wavering while he tried to catch his breath through the fever, but not even the sound of his ragged breath could subdue Lawrence's voice. Adam was losing track of time and how long he'd been stuck in place as the pitch black swallowed everything around him, but the ticking clock kept going. Synchronizing and pulsing with his heartbeat, which only made his head spin more.

He felt as if his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets as they strained to overlook the darkness, growing a headache that he could feel in the deep depths of his whole cranium. He leaned his head back against the tile, resting the side of his head against what he could only assume was a pipe and squeezed his eyes shut.

He needed to get out of there.

The pressure in his stomach quivered dangerously and it took all of his strength to swallow the tension down, chin shivering through the need to vomit. In fact, his whole body was shivering; tears streaming down his face, knees shaking where they were pressed against his chest and teeth chattering to the point his jaw ached. Adam knew he was losing blood fast, but his focus on the ghost of Lawrence's voice couldn't cease as it was the only thing from making him truly lose his mind.

Or he had already lost his mind.

The glow-in-the-dark paint on the wall had been Adam's only source of light in the couple of hours after the door closed, but it wasn't long before it completely faded and the room had been just as dark as it was when he first woke up. Because of the lack of sight, Adam found his other senses to refine too quickly than he would've wanted and his suffering only heightened. The air's corpse smell only worsened, the blood on his hands and the dirt under his nails felt thicker, the void of silence could only throb louder.

He really needed to get out of there.

The rough metal of the shackle bit into Adam's ankle every time he tried to pull on the chain, a bruised ache forming around his gaunt bones. Rationally, he knew if he kept pulling on it then he could injure himself further, but it was that he wasn't rationally thinking. All he knew was that he wanted the chain off. Soon, there was a warm substance of what could only be blood start to build around his ankle and roll down his foot that made him stop short for a moment. He thought it was a good idea at first, pull on the chain until something happened, but he only stopped when a loud crack echoed in the room and his legs folded under him. Punching the floor, he angrily screamed until he could barely catch his breath, but only ended up crying, curled as tightly as he could on his side.

That fucking sucked.

Sitting now in silence besides his erratic breathing, Adam thought about the time he went to the beach as a kid. He wasn't sure why it came to mind so suddenly, but the memory seemed so vivid. He remembers how his family didn't normally have opportunities to do fun things like going to the beach together—his dad always either too busy getting drunk or too busy at work or just plain right too uninterested—but it was a day he couldn't forget. He was only six years old, straying from his brothers as he was so confident that he was old enough to be out on his own. Walking out in the shore a piece of seaweed had wrapped around his ankle just in time before a wave came and knocked him down. All he could think of was how cold the water was.

Maybe that's why the memory resurfaced so clearly. The way his fingers were trembling, the hairs on his arms standing straight up, his teeth chattering and his lungs growing tight like he was drowning. In his daze, he found it hard telling apart the memory from what he's seeing right in front of him—if he could see at all, at least. The shackle around his ankle shifted from the cold, sturdy feeling to soft and slimy with the likeness of seaweed.

Read more on AO3. (free to guests)

[miseries-mistress]

CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES | COMMANDER CODY

Synopsis: It's been two years, give or take, since the Empire first rose to power. Those years were more often than not filled with desolate loneliness, longing for the Cody you once knew to return to you as his former self. Only that day came sooner than you imagined. 

Warnings: gender-neutral reader, TBB S2 EP 3 SPOILERS, some angst, some fluff, bitter-sweet endings bc he deserves one. W/C: 1309

Notes: this is all over the place... just don't pay too much attention to it

star wars masterlist

The flowers on your bedside table were long dead. You hadn't bothered to replace them- touch them is more accurate since Cody first put them there what feels like a million rotations ago. 

Your room was small, with nothing but a bed and a bathroom, but you should be lucky that the Empire provided this much after you were relocated from the 212th. Your refusal to leave the military was forged by the consequences of doing so because, despite your hatred and burning rage toward the Empire, you didn't have any kind of backup outside of this job. You're sure if you resigned, the Empire would make sure that one of their finest medics never gets a job again, forcing you to rely solely on them for any false sense of stability. In fact, they might not even let you leave at all, given how long you've served the Republic. Though, it didn't matter, for there was another part of you, another reason you refused to leave...because of him.

You worked as a field medic for the last two years of the Clone Wars for the 212th battalion. The job wasn't easy, but the company of the men made up for all the gore and death you had to witness and fix. It's how you met Cody, after all, how the flowers of your relationship bloomed, the petals stretching wide to reach new heights and opportunities like your smile once did. The relationship you and Cody shared was beautiful. No matter how much secrecy it caused the two of you, you flourished under the circumstances, just relishing in the feeling of being his while it lasted. Now it was all lost, the petals rotting and decaying, curling in on themselves with the stench of death, and you didn't have the heart to throw away your only physical reminder of what once was.

You don't see him much anymore. 

When the Empire first rose from the ashes of the Clone Wars, Cody was no longer the same. More noticeably, his eyes were dark; the bright gleam of life you had grown accustomed to seeing was nowhere to be found, his irises devoid of anything other than an end. Nevertheless, it had encouraged you to ask questions when he visited you about a headache, prattling on and on about the Empire and the Jedi turned traitors to all he stood for and fought for; what he was bred for. 

You listened with open ears as you did x-rays and scans, only to frown at the lack of results that something was abnormal. You knew Cody wasn't one to complain, especially when it came to pain- a clone commander's stubbornness- but there was nothing amiss, and that should have been your first sign that something was horribly wrong. 

Cody protested, insisting that something was definitely not right as you sent him off with a smile and some pain medication. Since then, the Empire has kept him busy shutting down rebel insurgents, gaining control of star systems, and making Cody dirty his blood-soaked hands further with the victims of the Empire. As a result, his visits grew far and few, never sharing the same connection you and he once had. However, it doesn't seem to matter to him. No matter how often you tried to talk to him and get him to open up in desperation to return to some sense of normalcy between you two, he reassured you that he was fine, just following orders. You didn't believe him. 

There's an unsteady and frantic knock at the door, echoing loudly throughout your room with a loud thump. You narrow your eyes at the entrance, but somehow, amongst your melancholy, you manage to rise from your bed, already dressed for the day, to greet your visitor.

It's Cody. 

You haven't seen him in six months, and even then, his last visit only lasted a couple of hours before he was deployed again, yet the first thing you notice is his armor. It's stripped of all its former color; the color of freedom he and his brother proudly sported has been leaked from every crevice of the one thing he's allowed to own. A testament to his enslavement to the Empire. 

The door is pulled shut, his shaky hands finding your shoulders like it's the most natural thing in the world, as if it's still you and Cody against the galaxy, not the other way around. You don't know what to feel as he searches your face, drinking in the sight of you with wild distress, and that scares you most of all.  

Your head is pounding as you watch Cody's mouth form words you can't entirely comprehend. A mission, Crosshair, droids, the governor, the finer details go over your head as you're still staggering from Cody's presence in front of you, as though no time has passed since his last visit. He's here and talking to you like he did when droids were the enemy. A weight lifts off your shoulders at the very thought of your Cody, the one who would lay on your chest and let you run your hands through his hair, returning from the darkness he's been hiding in. 

While his explanation is rushed, his tense body continually moving in a state of anxiety, his eyes wander from yours every once in a while to scan the room to ensure his safety. You recognize the look in his eyes, and things begin to click into place; he's scared. 

"Will you go with me?" he concludes his long-winded explanation, and you blink at him. After his strange behavior and detachment, he's come back and asks you to desert the Empire with him. To leave everything you know and hold behind, your lives, family, everything, all to build a better one for yourselves, a life together.  

You swallow the lump that had inexplicably formed in your throat, your blood pumping with newfound energy and purpose, and you collapse into his armored chest despite yourself. He returns the embrace as you crumble into him, offering you the comfort he was unable to provide before, offering every apology he can within his strong arms, providing you safety and security within his wiry muscles underneath his hardened exterior. You can't remember a time when you felt so cared for. 

You have questions, so many goddamn questions, but they all evaporate the moment he sees your lips moving to form words, uttering his own that leaves you reeling.

"Trust me."

And you can't help but do exactly that. You bite back every warning and concern, pushing it to the back of your mind because you will have time for them later. Time. 

You have time with him.

So while Cody holds you tenderly like he's afraid you'll break, you agree, practically sobbing in his chest with relief that after all this time, he still cares for you. Even when he is abandoning his brothers, the once Republic that fabricated him, the very thing he would have died for, he came to you and asked you to commit treason with him. The gesture speaks more volumes than any flowery language or touches ever could, conveying his belief and trust in you that after all that had happened, he's choosing you, and that's worth all the time in the world.  

[deadbydangit]

Because I've been apparently doing this.

With a Reader who overworks themselves.

Mastermind, Trapper, Doctor

Mastermind

He often overworks himself.

So he has no room to judge.

He admires how hard you work.

But when it starts affecting your health...

There's a problem now.

He overworked himself before he had oraborus.

Now that he has it, he can work nonstop.

You don't, so you can't.

He doesn't want to discourage your work.

But Wesker would like it if you took a break now and again.

You fell asleep in your food again.

That was the last straw.

Bed. Now.

He's carrying you.

He isn't angry, and he'll let you know that.

He's just worried.

"Dearest. You need to rest. Please remember to take care of yourself."

Wesker loves you so much, he hates to see you do this.

He's taking care of your work for the day.

No exceptions.

Cooking, cleaning, and everything else you usually do.

And he's spoiling you.

Please allow him to do so.

Any meal you want.

A spa day? He'll force ask one of the female survivors to do that for you.

If you'd like, he'll even carry you around all day.

You do everything for him.

So let him do this for you.

Trapper

Another one that likes to stay busy.

Like Weaker, Trapper often overworks himself.

It has taken a toll on his health, but he'll ignore it.

He's a strong man.

He's dedicated to his work, a little overtime wasn't going to kill him.

He admires your work ethic.

Evan despises lazy people, so your hardworking attitude pleased him.

It took him a while to realize that you were hurting yourself though.

It wasn't until you practically fell asleep walking that he realized the extent of your exhaustion.

Deeply concerned; time for bed.

Don't resist please.

He's doing this because he cares.

He'll draw you a bath, even putting in some fancy bath fizz for you.

He was planning to gift those to you at some point in time.

This seemed like the perfect opportunity.

He doesn't know much about spoiling, but he has a couple other gifts he's been waiting to give you.

Sweets, fancy spa things, new clothes.

He might ask some others for ideas.

He's going to spoil you rotten.

This is for all your hard work.

"Please, take better care of yourself. I can't lose you."

Doctor

Yet again, another hard worker.

He's pumped himself with so many chemicals that he's hardly human anymore.

So he doesn't need to sleep.

But you do.

Herman is more perceptive on this type of thing compared to the others.

He can tell if you aren't feeling well.

He sees you dragging yourself as you walk.

He isn't disappointed.

Herman loves how hard you work.

But he also knows you aren't like him.

So you need to take better care of yourself.

He'll put all his work down for the day to spend it with you.

No working.

If you need something done, he will do it.

But for the whole day, you won't be lifting a finger.

And he'll stay by to make sure.

"To function, a body needs rest and proper nutrition. You're lacking both."

So he'll make you healthy meals.

And, if it helps, he'll even clean up.

To be fair, his office is usually the worst.

And you shouldn't be cleaning up after him anyways.

Just for the day, he'll get you anything you'd like.

He'd propose relaxing activities.

A walk, reading a book, drawing.

Anything that doesn't require too much work.

He does all this because he loves you dearly.

"From now on, I expect you to take better care of yourself."

He'll cup your cheeks longingly.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

[wttcsms]

sorry if you're not comfortable answering this, but I saw you say that you've been diagnosed with depression. how did you know when to seek help?

tl;dr: from a young age, i never lived a healthy lifestyle with an easy pace. i (and maybe even my family) put too much pressure on me, and i never really coped with it in a healthy manner. my attempt at handling things "with ease" and "not stressing" was actually just me bottling up my emotions, and it's not until things started getting really bad that i finally sought help.

nothing uncomfy abt it at all! discussion of mental health is pretty important! tbh, i never thought i would have depression or be diagnosed with it; i started showing symptoms for around a year before i started really thinking to myself, hey, i think there might be something up with me mentally and this isn't just some silly, quirky thing i'm going through. ever since i was around 18, i went through great lengths to ensure i would achieve maximum academic success but while being a full-time college student and consistently working 60+ hours a week (70+ during the summer bc my junior year internship was so intense; i also went to college 2 years early, so i think that's when the internal pressure to "do well in life" began) was taking a massive toll on me mentally and physically. i would survive off of 4-5 hours of sleep, consume concerning amounts of caffeine, i was losing hair, i was losing drastic amounts of weight, i was breaking out and breaking down, and even when i got better, i still wasn't fully ever healed from that experience purely bc my schedule just never slowed down.

i am still a full-time student, i am still working 7 days a week, leading to 60+ hours (40 hours internship, 20 hours at my weekend part-time job). on top of that, i am in the second to last semester of my grad school, i help out around the house bc after my older sister moved out, i took over the eldest daughter duties, i am still holding myself to a very high standard academically (already planning to apply to phd programs, studying for the cpa exam, already have another summer internship lined up). i knew things were getting bad because 1) i am finally older (im abt to turn 21! yay!) and i realized that the lifestyle i'm living isn't healthy and 2) a lot of my behaviors didn't feel "normal" to me anymore. it finally hit me around two months ago, when i realized that i sort of lost my love for fanfiction. i've been in a weird mood where i didn't want to read any fanfic whatsoever, but i chalked it up to being "too busy" and focused on other things. when i couldn't even find the energy to read my own mutual's fanfic, i knew something was up bc i always try to power through and remain enthusiastic on my friends' behalf. more behaviors that were a cause for concern:

my disinterest in everything that brought me joy previously. sweet treats at the end of the day, coffee before work, buying makeup from sephora, cleaning my room (sounds silly, but i love having a clean living space and cleaning my room used to be a source of peace and joy for me), writing fanfiction, reading books, watching youtube videos, catching up on shows that would release weekly and that i used to count down the days to watch — none of it held my interest. i wasn't excited, i didn't care.

it wasn't just a lack of joy from things i loved, either. rejections from programs i looked forward to/rejections from opportunities, abysmal grades in class, looming deadlines that i most likely wouldn't make, growing assignments on my work to-do list; none of this elicited a reaction from me. there was no stress (that i was feeling; subconsciously, i think the stress was still there and i just refused to acknowledge it), but there also wasn't disappointment or sadness. i had no emotional response to anything, and that was very concerning to me, and the main reason i contacted my sister and then her boyfriend (who is a licensed psychiatrist)

i could sleep for 12+ hours a day. there are many days in the week where all i want to do is rot in bed. not even in a "go on my phone and dick around in bed" type of way, either. i would have certain days where i couldn't leave the bed. sometimes, i wouldn't even feel tired, but i would just sleep. my internship is wfh and if it was a slow day with no assignments, i would clock in and spend that whole day in my bed, sleeping. it got to the point where i wish work was busy so i would have something to force me out of bed. yes, i would be aware of my tiredness sometimes, but this felt different altogether. i just wanted to basically hibernate lol.

i had constant headaches. i thought it was because of the nature of my job, where i look at computer screens all day, or maybe it was bc i wasn't drinking enough water. i would also get unexplainable cramps sometimes.

tmi, but little to no pleasure and an extreme decline in interest in sex

i had extreme issues with focusing on work and studying; a lot of my work (and school materials) centers around thinking through problems and applying tax law or guidance to certain situations.

my diet fluctuated; some days, i wouldn't want to eat, yesterday, i gorged myself on food, eating to the point where even i had to pause and go wtf.

not very often was i randomly sad, nor did i ever want to kill myself or self-harm; when i was a teenager (17/18) and probably showing signs of depression, i was very irritable, angry, sad, and had suicidal thoughts, thought i was worthless, an idiot, etc. however, i mostly just feel empty and apathetic during my episodes now.

what helped me seek help was knowing that my behaviors and how i was feeling didn't feel healthy, but also, my best friend recently shared her diagnosis with me and i would have never thought she would be depressed. my sister's bf was also a major help in getting me comfortable to consider the possibility of having a mental illness and also in finding someone to talk to. hope this helps!

edit: forgot to mention it, but i exhibited many/all of those symptoms for around the past 3 months before ever seeking help. those behaviors started manifesting tremendously and seriously disrupting my daily life, and i knew i needed to do something to get my life back on track.

[fluffyprettykitty]

Heart's Delight

Pairing: college! Bruce Banner x insecure! female reader (no other specifications!)

Word Count: 1050 words

Outline: Bruce invites you out for an afternoon at the cinema.

Warnings: insecurities, awkwardness.

Author’s Note: Requested by a nonnie and then you all voted on having this fic with Bruce. I hope everyone will enjoy it!

dividers by @firefly-graphics ​//​ banners by @maysdigitalarts

Main Masterlist ・❥・Bruce Banner Masterlist

You were nervous. 

Well, you were always nervous. 

Just today you were more nervous than usual. 

Bruce Banner, the sweet boy with the dark loose curls and the cutest glasses had asked you to join him at the cinema. He could barely blurt it out at first, his whole face turning into a bright tomato red staring at his feet slurring and repeating his words until you told him that you want to go out with him anywhere he likes. 

So finally you decided on going to the nearby cinema at the mall. It was three stops away from the subway station so it wasn't too far away and hopefully not too busy. 

You didn't have much experience with dating even though you were already in your third year of college, your shy demeanor and lack of confidence kept you behind. But from when you started attending that one class with Bruce, you kept wishing for something to happen between you two. And now it seems it was your time. 

It started with cute messages on pieces of paper then it manifested to study dates for classes and exams until this very morning. Soon he would be leaving for a week on a seminar with his science class and he wanted to squeeze that opportunity now. 

You stare in front of your mirror, dressed in a skirt with thick thighs and your cutest fall boots. After having changed more than ten shirts you settle for the one your roommate suggested hoping someone else's taste was better than yours. Then you stared at the mirror as you started doing your makeup and putting on the final touches. 

Five minutes later you hear a knock on your door and putting on your jacket you shout that you are ready. Grabbing your bag you open the door to look at Bruce dressed in black jeans and a checkered white and red shirt. He looked very handsome and he even was holding a single rose that he offered, you profusely thanked him and placed it on your bedside table. 

The walk and the subway ride went by a breeze as you both were talking still about the morning class. Then easily you chose a movie, you had shared interests before so it wasn't hard to come to a decision. The mall was right at the end of the subway station so it didn’t take you long at all.

But the movie wouldn't start until an hour later and you both weren't hungry, you wanted to try the flavors the cinema provided so you opted for browsing around. After playing a couple of games at the arcade in the back and after Bruce won a teddy bear for you at a machine, he dragged you to the photo booth. 

He nervously placed his hand around you, as you posed for pictures. You tried to ease yourself around his touch, your heart racing at the prospect of him touching you so closely and when you took the film in your hands he looked at you confused. 

"Hey, are you?" Bruce sounds nervous trying to swallow a lump in his throat. "Are you having fun?" 

"Yes, I am having tons of fun." You draw your eyebrows together as you sit down on the bench next to him. “Why would you even ask that?”

"You look…" He seems to be searching for a word. "Like you are not having fun." 

Confused, you look at the pictures in his hands and you immediately realize the problem. You hated your smile because it was crooked and you had long ago learned how to pose for pictures with your serious expression. Which evidently looked very harsh against Bruce's bright smile. 

But you didn't want to tell him that, he would find you superficial or something alongside those lines or he could have thought you were too much or too paranoid so a brief silence filled the noisy room. 

"I don't like pictures that much." 

"I'm sorry I should have asked before dragging you, is it my fault."

"No, Bruce, is alright. Please don't worry about it." 

"You look beautiful though just pissed." 

You laugh and you immediately place the palm of your hand in front of your mouth like you always did in public and that's when he realized. 

"You don't like your smile?" He asks and he seems to be remembering things. "You always place your hand in front of your mouth in class but seldom when we are alone." 

His incredible observational skills have left you both speechless and mortified at the thought that he has possibly been noticing your facial features and expressions too closely. 

He begins to excuse himself again afraid he overstepped a line or has insulted you so you just want the earth to swallow you whole right now. 

"Is fine, Bruce, please don't worry about it ." 

"It's beautiful." 

He is staring at you directly and openly. 

"At first I kept bets with myself thinking I could keep you smiling again and again because you seemed to only be doing it for a couple of seconds." He chuckles and shakes his shoulders. "So I had to keep you laughing just to see you happy like that or…" he shakes his head slowly blushing himself. "Repeat every stupid joke I knew a lot of times till you got probably sick of it." 

Well, you didn't know how to respond to that so you just stared at him. 

"Wait, hang on, I got an idea. " He chuckles and then softly places his fingertips on your cheek, slowly caressing it. And then he started leaning closer and closer, titling his head until his plump lips were softly pressing against yours. 

He pulls away, still gazing at your eyes as you are now smiling at him. 

"There it is, my beautiful Y/N." 

He didn't expect you to like your smile overnight but he was extremely willing to have you at least smiling freely for him. 

When it was time for the movie, it was hard to push back from his face but he delightfully grabbed your hand and lead you first to the booth for a selection of popcorn and then to the cinema itself. 

And somehow you couldn’t stop smiling in the darkness of the theatrical room.

For updates please follow my library blog @fluffyprettykittylibrary and you could even turn on post notifications! :)

[buckttommy]

kissing u on the mouth for the zayn tags

It needs to be said. Zayn is a powerhouse, he always has been. Even back during the band, I remember thinking that when they ended, it would be a tossup between him and Harry as to who would come out on top (the only reason Liam wasn't apart of that conversation is because he lacks the confidence and social charisma to carry on a sustainable solo career, as unfortunately indicated by... whatever he's doing now. Definitely not because he's lacking the vocal ability because I've always thought Liam had the most classically appealing voice). But anyway.

I remember when Pillow Talk came out and the Big Larries (you know the ones) were raking him over the coals for it, but in all actuality, that release did exactly what he wanted it to do: it set him apart and, like he said in that interview, it gave him the rare, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be the first one out of the biggest band in the world. He could have chosen any genre in the world, but he chose R&B, and despite what anyone else might think, everyone else's solo career was built around Zayn's. Because what else were they going to do? Compete for space in the same genres? That would make the discrepancies between their abilities overwhelmingly obvious. So Zayn planted his flag in R&B, and then Harry/HS1 with soft rock, Niall/NH1 with singer-songwriter, and so forth. (Disclaimer: Obviously, it was fairly obvious which direction each 1D boy was going to go, especially in the later albums, and especially with MITAM, where they all had the most creative control over the lyrics, music, etc.)

But back to Zayn. We always talked about Louis's business sense and how he would be a powerhouse in the industry (I still believe that, if he settled down long enough to go corporate) but Zayn's right up there with him. The fact that, even back then, he could look at what was going on within and around their contract negotiations and know, "okay, this is a sinking ship" speaks to a level of profound intellect and insight into the working cogs of the industry itself.

I also find it interesting that he said they got sick of each other because that's the most honest thing I've ever heard any of them say about what happened to their relationship(s). I mean, living in each other's pockets it was bound to happen (and we all know that toward the end of it, there was, is, and will be animosity between him and Harry) but, I don't know. Lots to think about there when I consider how much they tried to play it up for the camera (especially during 2014/FOUR promo, which Zayn was completely fucking checked out of and we all knew, and especially during Orlando, I think it was (when Louis was wearing the green hoodie, like something went down during that time for sure). But yeah! hUh! lots to ponder, lots to ponder

[operatorsdiner]

A full house: Entry 7

Wren sat silently in the farthest booth, staring out the window, waiting for Dante to bring them their order. The rain methodically thrummed against the roof of the building only adding to the boring atmosphere of the restaurant tonight. A sigh left Wren's throat as the soft clacking of a plate on the table in front of them drew their attention away from the outside world. “Order up,” Dante hummed as he wiped his hand on his apron. “Hawaiian roll french toast with honey glaze.” He smiled proudly. Wren's gaze turned to the plate in front of them staring down at the 5-star gourmet food placed before them. Sitting up straight they took the fork out of their napkin and began to dig in. Dante turned; leaving Wren to enjoy their 30 as he went back to share his creation with the others. Wren greedily dug into the food in front of them as they savored the sweet taste on their tongue. It wasn't often that the store was empty enough to allow Dante to work on his culinary skills, but when the store has been empty since 12 AM it's hard not to try and concoct something. Wren enjoyed any food placed in front of them though, not just Dante’s cooking. Compared to the prison food they consumed for 2 years, Dante’s food was like heaven on earth. Prison food wasn't too bad, it was filling; however, so was dirt, and the dirt was preferable. Getting caught shoplifting sucked and snubbed any job opportunity they had of getting a high position in any industry. Being stuck in a dead-end job with coworkers who equally hate their job brought them some solace though, as it meant they were not alone in this feeling of emptiness. Wren continued to eat as they pulled out their phone and began scrolling as they enjoyed their break. They had always done this when work was too slow and even when work was busy. The only time they weren't on their phone and would step in to help was when everyone else was struggling to do their job, which was always a complaint that they heard from everyone else.

Truthfully Wren didn't care what the others had to say about their behavior, because anything that they said could easily be proven as hypocritical. Dante and Enzo were chronic smokers and constantly took breaks in order to satisfy that craving, Alex was a mute and would get overwhelmed too easily by the basic dinner rush despite being the head cook, and Baylen was just Baylen. “Who are they to judge when they have their own reasons to abandon this sinking ship?” they pondered to themself as they continued to scroll. While Wren hated their coworkers' attitudes about their lack of enthusiasm for their job, they did admire their consistency; Dante wearing his evil eye and mixed metal jewelry, Enzo's dry humor, Baylen’s laid-back behavior, Alex's anxiety going full circle to confidence, Adrian's great customer service, and Vesper's ability to match the energy of customers. It was something that Wren could at least say was one positive of working here. The sounds of praise from Adrian and Enzo as Dante took their empty plates were nothing but background noise to Wren as they plugged their earbuds in to have their own personal bubble once more. 

Enzo looked at the clock and signalled to Dante to follow him. Leaning into the office, Enzo whistled to Alex and Baylen to grab their attention, “It's dead as fuck in here. Dante cooked up some recipe he’s working on in school if you want any, but we're gonna head to the back to have a smoke break.” He hummed as he leaned out again, not waiting for a response. Alex and Baylen looked at each other once more before Baylen raised his hands to do quotations, “‘Smoke break’, yeah sure.” He snorted sarcastically as he swivelled his chair back around to face his monitors. Alex chuckled as he swivelled back in his own chair. “I’m telling you, dude, either A) they’re secretly dating or B) they were tragic lovers in a past life.” Baylen hummed in response. “Maybe, or maybe they're just fucking gay but not gay for each other,” Alex grunted as he wrote the schedule for the next week. “Well, you know the deal. 20 dollars will be earned eventually.” 

Outside of the restaurant, Dante held the door for Enzo as they stepped out, pulling out their cigarette of choice, and placing it between their lips. Dante pulled out his zippo and waved Enzo closer as he held up his hand to prevent the flame from going out. They stood close until the tips of their cigarettes glowed crimson, soon pulling away. Dante squatted down to the concrete as Enzo stood next to him leaning against the brick wall behind him. “T’nights so fucking dead, dude,” Enzo grumbled as they took a drag and pulled it from their lips, ashing it to the floor. Dante hummed and exhaled his own disgusting gust of cancer while fiddling with his evil eye necklace. “I’d rather have a dead night than a full house. You know our pay is based on the entire day, so if we didn’t make shit one night it’ll be covered by the day shift.” Enzo snorted and shook their head. “God you're terrible for thinking that way, but I love it when you're right.” He smiled as he took another hit. They continued to chat and smoke, not caring about their surroundings as they enjoyed their time together, their conversation having no care until Dante was reminded of something. “Hey dude, I've been meaning to ask this, but do you know what happened to the freezer? No one really gave me a straight answer.” Dante glanced up to Enzo, hoping for the most deadpan dickhead they knew to finally give him some answer. Enzo stared straight ahead as his face scrunched in confusion; only then did they both realize how quiet their surroundings had become. “Well uh…” Enzo began dropping his arm holding the cigarette to their side. “I actually don’t kn-” Snap. Both their heads snap straight forward, staring at the woods ahead of them. The back of the building always unnerved the night crew. At night the only light there was the one at the back door, and it illuminated only the asphalt before the woods. The inky black of the unknown lurked not even 12 feet away, and it made Enzo queasy. There had always been rumors about those woods since he was a kid; a tall man that sent people mad and drove them to kill, a pale creature that looked human but would rip a man limb from limb with inhuman strength, and a demon made of so many eyes one would see the abominations of the earth reflected in them. All of them were just old folk tales, of course, made to keep kids out of the woods and away from the wildlife that could kill them. Enzo knew that so why were they frozen in anticipation? Why was their heart racing as they stared ahead? Dante was frozen in the same way. They were both grown adults, yet being told the same folk tales from a young age brought them the same terror. Snap. Dante scrambled on the ground and to their feet, moving close to Enzo while reaching into their back pocket to pull out their knife. Their hearts slammed in sync as they waited for something. The snapping of twigs seemed to get closer as Dante pulled out their knife and held it in their fist. The sounds grew closer and more rapid as he took a stance in front of Enzo, preparing for the worst. His heart raced as the noise came straight towards them as Dante sucked in a breath and took a step forward, ready to make the first and final blow. The sound stopped quickly as a small gray rabbit stepped into the light of the building. Dante and Enzo stared at the creature as it sat on its hind legs, cleaning its face before looking up at the two humans who seemed as if they were going to explode. Enzo let out a sigh of relief and placed their hands on their knees as they tried to regain their composure. Dante huffed as he began to chuckle and put away his knife, “Man, I think that's the hardest we've tweaked ever.”

“Hello my-” Dante and Enzo screamed and jumped into each other's arms as someone rounded the corner. The man also jumped back at the sudden reaction and shouted in surprise as well. After a pause, Dante lunged at the man, slapping his arm repeatedly and yelling profanities at him in Spanish. The man only laughed and used his shoulder to defend himself. “I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I know, I'm sorry!” he laughed as he took the beating like it was nothing. Enzo sighed and held a hand to their chest, feeling their heart thumping at a mile a minute. “Jesus Christ, Brian, you scared the shit out of us.” He sighed as Dante continued to slap Brian. Brian Thomas, another regular of the night shift, was one of the beloved customers amongst the crew and was a part of a little trio that frequented the diner at oddball hours of the night. He smiled a crooked gap-toothed smile at Enzo that could almost melt his bitchy, stone-cold heart. Almost. Dante finally stopped slapping Brian's arm and leaned into his chest, groaning loudly. Brian laughed as he wrapped his arms around Dante and rocked him back and forth“. Rough night?” he inquired as he smiled again. “Dead night.” Dante muffled through Brian's chest. “Ahh makes sense. You cancer-filled crusaders at least making it through?” He squeezed Dante. Enzo shrugged. “Yeah, to the best. Are the T’s with you?” Brian laughed and finally let go of Dante. “Tim’s inside giving Alex a panic attack and Toby’s off with friends. Before you ask, we're also shocked that he has friends,” he chuckled. Enzo nodded; straightening out his uniform and pulling open the backdoor. “Well, we’ll be in to serve you now. See you inside, Mr. Thomas.” Brian laughed as he nodded, turning the corner and disappearing into the night again. Dante and Enzo stepped back in and headed to their station to continue their jobs.

Wren leaned back with their phone in hand, occasionally looking up to peer at Alex on the verge of panic as they listened to Tim’s order. While Alex wrote on the notepad, Dante came up behind them and placed a gentle hand on their shoulder before taking the notepad out of their hand. Dante said something that couldn’t be heard over Wren's music as he wrote down stuff on his notepad and poured a cup of black coffee for Tim. Wren’s eyes flickered to the door as Brian walked in, sitting down next to Tim at the counter and patting him on the back. Wren grunted at the sight and sunk into their booth to look at their phone once more, drowning out the world around them. Tim and Brian had gotten up from the counter and moved to a table close to the door out of Wren’s line of sight. Wren scrolled through Facebook, observing all the people's life achievements they’d missed while they were in prison. Most things were to be expected, such as people getting married, having a baby, or getting a house; things that just received an eye roll from them. To their annoyance, their ‘30 minute break’ was interrupted once again by the door being slammed open and a figure looming at the threshold. Wren’s face scrunched in irritation as they looked at the man at the door from bottom to top. Beat-up black Adidas shoes that looked like they were about to tear away from the sole at any second, black pants stitched up with scrap fabric and handmade patches of bands Wren couldn't even imagine pronouncing, and a dirty white hoodie with random brown stains around the chest and sleeve. Wren moved on from the man's clothes and looked at his face only to feel all the judgment leave their mind as they recognized the man. He didn't seem to see Wren as he moved from the door to sit down at the counter. Wren ripped their earbuds out as they rushed out of the booth and behind the counter. 

“Dante, I've got this one. You take your break.” Wren promptly demanded as they yanked the notepad out of Dante's hand. Dante’s face twisted in anger as he turned to Wren. “The fuck’s your problem? I’m with a customer!” Dante hissed at Wren. Wren moved and stood in front of the man directly as they pointed toward the back of the building. “Go.” They said firmly as Dante glared back at them. “You’re a fucking asshole tonight,” he replied bluntly. He took the towel out of his apron and smacked it onto the counter before turning away to the manager's office. Wren kept their eyes on Dante until he was fully gone before they looked back at the man. “I thought you still had 5 more years, Jeff,” they said coldly. The man stayed silent for a moment before he leaned in and grinned his extended smile. “I got out on good behavior, Wren. I’m a changed man.” Wren couldn’t stop the shiver that ran down their back as they looked at the man's face again; Jeffery Woods, a serial killer, sat before them again. His curly black hair framed his scared face with patches of baldness from his burns and half his face and neck were rough and patchy from burn scars that covered most of his body. That wasn’t the part that unnerved Wren though- in fact, it gave them a bit of sympathy for Jeff- the thing that really unnerved Wren was the fact that Jeff did it to himself, completely of his own volition. The jagged, healed scars of where he had mutilated his face left the corners of his mouth extended to an uncomfortable degree, and the jagged form of his eyelids from him trying to cut them off made his eyes seem unnervingly wide. The jagged and rough skin always made Wren’s skin crawl when they were in prison together, but Jeff wore it with pride like it was a badge of honor. “You got new piercings I see,” they swallowed dryly as they looked down at the notepad in their hands. Jeff's milky blue eyes glimmered with joy, “Oh, you're the first to notice. Yeah, I got them as soon as I got out.” He pulled back his hair and showed off his ears. “How long have you been out, Jeff?” Wren asked bluntly. Jeff stiffened as his smile dropped and he folded his hands on the counter. “Same as you, Wren. And I'm staying with a few friends who are getting me back into the loop of life.” His grin slowly started to come back. Wren glared at Jeff when in the corner of their eye, they spotted Adrian stepping out of the office and heading over to Wren with an angered expression. Wren quickly leaned towards Jeff and hissed at him. “Whatever you’re up to, you do not bring it here, you hear me? These are good people. You stay the fuck away from my coworkers.” They quickly pulled away and turned to Adrian as he stood in front of them with Dante behind him. “I think Dante has it from here. You and I can roll silverware together,” he stated. Dante gently took the notepad and turned their attention to Jeff. “Don’t worry, Wren and I go way back. Just catching up with a friend.” Jeff grinned his extended, crooked grin at Adrian. Wren glared as they walked away, turning their back to Jeff and following Adrian. “Hey Wren,” Jeff called out. Wren turned around expecting an insult. The shout also caught the attention of Tim and Brian, bringing them out of their conversation. “With my new job, I want you to know I'll be seeing a lot of you and your coworkers around. We're all going to be very well acquainted.” He smirked. Wren’s face heated up and they turned away, rushing to the back to stop themself from flying over the counter and strangling Jeff. Brian and Tim’s eyes stayed glued on Wren as they continued to walk away then flickered over to Dante looking for an answer. Dante looked back at the two men and shrugged as he turned his attention to the man in front of him. “Sorry about that. My name's Dante, what can I get started for you tonight?” Dante placed a mug in front of Jeff and held up the coffee pot offering him some. Jeff curtly nodded at the offer as Dante poured him a cup and then slid two small bowls of disposable cream and sugar packets. 

“So how long have you been working here?” Jeff inquired as he brought the cup of black coffee to his lips. Dante pondered as he turned around to make Brian and Tim’s usual orders. “I’ve been working here since I was 16. So about 6 years on the 13th.” Jeff tilted his head as he rested his hand on his chin watching Dante crack eggs with one hand and cook them on the grill. “The 13th, huh? What's so important about that?” Jeff took another sip. Dante shrugs, “That's my birthday. So that's how I remember how long I’ve been working here.” Jeff hummed as he continued to sit and drink his coffee in silence. Dante continued to cook as Baylen stepped out of the office; turning on the radio as they grabbed the plated food from Dante. 

A town curfew has been set in place due to the recent uprising in missing people and murderers. Curfew is set at 9 o’clock at night and will be held till 5 am; lock all doors and windows as well as set up home security. If you see any suspicious behavior in or around your house, hide in a dark room and call the police. The emergency line will be on 24/7 for anything. If you see something, say something.

Dante turned his attention to the radio with a frown and turned up the volume, listening intently. Jeff hummed as he took another sip of coffee, “That's a shame. I have so much to do at night now that I’m out. That’s going to make things harder.” Dante turned around with a confused look at Jeff as Baylen placed down Tim and Brian's plates. Brian's eyes shot up at Baylen as he stared at them for a while. Tim looked up from his plate to Brian's face before turning his attention to Baylen as well. Tim squints for a second before having an undescribed look. The sound of Dante swearing took away Baylen's attention from the men as they watched him leave the counter and move to the back. As he made his way to the back Enzo moved to the front, giving him a weird look as the two crossed paths. Baylen looked back at the men and sighed. “Sorry about that, is there anything else I can get you?” Brian hummed as he looked up to Baylen, studying them for a moment, before cracking a smile. “How about that hangout I’ve been asking for for months? You can’t keep me waiting forever.” Tim turned his attention to Baylen as well. “Yeah, man. Come out and hang with us during the day for once.” Baylen shrugged and rolled his shoulders back as she looked over in the direction Dante had disappeared to. “Maybe later this week. If you need anything just holler. I have to check on my line cook.” Baylen turned around as they walked to the back to look for Dante. Enzo leaned towards Baylen as they walked by, “His necklace just broke, it's nothing life-threatening but he is kinda frazzled tonight.” Baylen sighed. Normally she wouldn’t think twice about her employees' antics but when Dante was ‘frazzled’ it could mean many things. Baylen headed to the back to find their line cook only to see the area empty with the backdoor cracked open.  Slipping through the crack and observing the surroundings, Baylen found Dante with his back to the door, leaning his head back with his hand against his mouth, seemingly swallowing something. Baylen sighed as they stuffed their hands into their pockets and walked up next to Dante. “You a’right?” Baylen asked as she looked down at Dante, a puzzled expression crossing her face. Dante sighed and scratched his neck as he reached down pulling out his second cigarette of the night, “Yeah, just... My necklace broke and it made me realize I forgot to take my meds and T shot. I can take my shot when I get home but I definitely need to take my other stuff now.” Dante hummed as he lit up the cigarette, taking a filthy hit into his lungs. He craned his neck up to stare at the stars covering the night sky. “You're usually so suspicious. Why aren't you freaking out about your necklace?” Baylen crossed his arms over their chest as they kept their eyes on the shorter man. Dante kept his eyes on the sky as he took another drag. He shrugged his shoulders and rolled his head over to look at the taller one. “Truth be told, I'm trying more to think logically. I get antsy too easily so I can't let my superstitions get the better of me. I've had this necklace for 6 years from my mama. It was only a matter of time before it broke. Plus she sends me one for every holiday, so I can just wear a new one tomorrow night.” Baylen only nodded and looked at the sky with Dante. They both stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity but was only a few minutes.  

The sound of the back door opening dragged their attention away from the night sky as they turned to see who could have caused the commotion. “Yo,” Wren said bluntly as they stuck their head out of the door. “Brian wants more coffee and I'm on my break.” Dante sighed as they dropped their cigarette to the floor and crushed it with the toe of his boot. He walked to the door and shoved passed Wren. “You've been on your break for the past 2 hours. You're dismissed for the day.” Wren scoffed as they watched Dante walk, turning back to Baylen. “He's not a manager. He can't talk to me like that,” they grunted as Baylen walked past, closing the door behind them. Baylen sighed and blankly looked down at Wren as they voiced their complaints. Wren scowled at Baylen, putting their hands up with attitude as they waited for Baylen to respond. “Hello?! Are you going to say something to him? He can’t talk to me like that.” Wren’s mood soured the longer Baylen sat in silence. Baylen looked down and pinched the bridge of their nose as they took a very grounding deep breath. Baylen’s eyes shifted to Wren’s face, watching as they continued to boil in rage. Baylen looked them up and down one more time. “I don’t have the energy or time for this Wren. You’re dismissed,” They stated, before turning and walking away. Wren scoffed and stomped their feet as they turned toward the coat rack, yanking their jacket off. They swore under their breath and huffed as they turned around one last time, watching Dante as he passed by, coffee pot in hand. Wren swung their hand up with force and proudly gave him the finger. Dante looked over his shoulder, eyeing Baylen, before forcefully smacking the coffee pot down and removing his apron as he made his way to Wren. A wave of fright and adrenaline rushed through Wren's veins as they quickly spun on their heel and rushed out the backdoor to their car. They quickly unlocked their door and hopped in, slamming the door behind them. They looked to the back door of the restaurant, and when they didn’t see a raging Dante burst through to come and key their car, they relaxed and turned the car on. It hummed to life with warm air flowing through the vents. 

Knock knock.

Wren jumped in their seat and whipped their head towards the driver's side door, seeing Jeff standing there with a shit-eating grin. Wren rolled their eyes and rolled their window down a crack to glare up at him. Jeff leaned down and looked at Wren through the crack. “Hey stranger, where you heading off to so soon?” He moved forward, resting his forearm against the top of the driver's side door and resting his head against his fist. Wren rolled their shoulders back as they closed their eyes, attempting to block their vision of Jeff's unnerving eyes. “I'm going home. My shift’s over,” they answered. Jeff hummed and nodded as he moved his head to look at the woods beyond the parking lot. “Well like I said before; with my new job, I'll be around more. Not gonna lie, it's really nice to see you. A familiar face in a new place, ya know?” He shrugged and reverted his gaze back to Wren. “Don’t worry though. I won’t be in your way,” He said as he pushed himself away from the car and slipped his hands into his hoodie pockets. “After all. I’m not here for you.” Before Wren could question what he meant, Jeff had turned on his heels and waved goodbye. “See you ‘round, Wren! Try not to cause any more issues than you already have in your miserable life.” With that, Jeff continued to walk away, out of the parking lot and down the winding road. Wren watched as he was slowly swallowed by the darkness, a stew of emotions enveloping them as they huffed, putting the car in drive. 

Same shit different day.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, I am INTJ 34F, thank you in advance for patience towards my super long post. My life is fine so far at least on face of it. But I have gone through some hardships which are not visible to outside world easily.

I was victim of child neglect where my parents ignored me and gave more importance to my brother as he is male child. The ignorance was hard for me and my self esteem was hit badly. I was deep introvert and hard fast logical thinker. My social or physical abilities were not developed as I never had any friends to play or social setup to mingle. Also, i never felt any need for same. My parents never tried to help me see where I am failing and how I can improve. I used to immerse myself in books and daydream. I tried to reason with my parents at times but I was very straightforward so they saw it as blunt and it didn't end well. I used to do all things in daydream which I don't do in real life.

The only thing I had was, I was good in studies. So I think that became my identity as that was only thing where I can shine and get attention. But lack of skills in other areas had impact on my confidence. This continued in college as well as job. In college, people used to call me reserved and maybe dull. In job, we had teamwork and because of my introversion and non developed social skill, they started calling me like I have ego issue etc etc. I was independent, low self expression and mainly focusing on work, no much small talk.. all ended up my image being kind of dark. I don't know what I did wrong.

At that point, I wasn't aware about my personality development issue or that I am child neglect victim. I never gave deep thought to any of this then. I used to shine in work due to my technical abilities and used to think that people are either jealous of my achievement or they need just entertainment. I was too busy with my life as well because I had family and young kid, so it was battle of time.

I got to know about MBTI in lockdown and realized that,

I have never accepted any issue with my parents even to myself

I have ignored my health a lot while pulling career

I have never paid attention to other people as in their feeling etc

I did not build strong network at work

I am kind of blind to others strength because I value only intelligence too much

I went on to build life I want with such a focus that I totally missed on other thing. Somehow, money and career advancement became point of self esteem for me

The only good thing is, I am very open to people in my inner circle and they know me, value me, respect me

I wasn't self aware, did not handle my introversion properly. In order to open up to people, I have landed in awkward social situations and then gave up getting frustrated

There was huge gap between how I see myself and how others see me. I didn't know why this is happening

I have burned bridges with few people when they were open to have discussions

Now, I feel terrible. I miss people I have hurt or misbehaved. There are few career opportunities I have lost. I am not sure if this is sign of immature INTJ or something to do with my childhood or entirely different issue.

Once I knew MBTI, I researched and improved a lot. Now, I am far more balanced person. My husband and other close people are noticing change in me and in general, I can sense it myself. But, I am not able to let go past. It's like I am carrying it in my head that I was like this. I don't have any shame associated with it. I am ok with my past but I just want to live free and close that chapter in my head permanently.

There are few people who I really miss but now can not go back and make things right. I am having hard time accepting it. I keep on regretting myself like why I wasn't aware about all this little earlier

I would like to hear your thoughts as they help me clear my head

-----------------------

The topic of regretting past mistakes comes up often, search the relevant tags, like this post. It doesn't really matter "when" you learned, as long as you did eventually. If "when" matters so much to you, then perhaps you have some pridefulness issue to work through due to having an unrealistic image of what you "should" be. Unrealistic images are a common path to self-inflicted suffering.

You spend a lot of time punishing yourself for mistakes and not enough time appreciating how they allowed you to progress and grow. What would your life be without mistakes? Without them, you'd have far fewer opportunities to realize the truth of yourself. In other words, your perspective on mistakes is problematic. They should be embraced rather than derided.

People only do what they know. You can't know everything or be good at everything. Once you've learned what you didn't know, you ought to forgive yourself for the past ignorance. Whatever you imagine was the "perfect" way to handle things doesn't really exist. If you could've done better back then, you would've.

Take control of your mind: Let go of the imaginary scenarios you've created of the past or imaginary ideals of what you should've been and proceed with humility in facing up to the current state of your shortcomings, flaws, and weaknesses (requires Te). The process of living is experiencing and growing. Or do you believe it's about being born perfect out of the womb?

[terapsina]

Utterly Translucent - elejah fic

_

ao3

-

He saw her pacing in place, eyes flicking down to her wristwatch, and took a moment to observe. Something about the sight in front of him wasn't quite right.

It was nothing obvious. There were no other covert eyes watching the location from a distance so it was unlikely to be a trap - always something better kept in mind when dealing with Katerina.

And yet Elijah lingered in the spot, trying to identify the feeling.

Her hair lacked the curls he knew she preferred, and though the leather jacket and the heels looked her style, the flowery red summer dress wasn't quite. But that by itself meant very little. There was no way to predict what kind of role she was busy playing at the moment.

But then her face rose to throw her gaze around the street and even with the distance the recognition hit. Elena.

He felt a brief spike of amusement which was less than a fraction of a moment later washed away by a more powerful wave of bittersweet affection. He hadn't seen her since leaving her in Mystic Falls when he'd planned to take the desiccated body of his brother, and run. He hadn't thought he'd ever see Elena again.

And he suspected many things had happened to her since then. Because she was no longer human, he could hear it in the heartbeat which had changed to the fractionally out-of-pace beat which now identified her as a vampire.

The scene now thus clarified, Elijah used his enhanced speed to flash across the street to join her under the roof of the gazebo.

"Hello, there," he said, amusement reasserting itself as he realized the opportunity to recreate their first meeting. He wondered how long it would take Elena to recognize that he knew exactly who he was talking to.

She startled in place, clearly having heard him before she'd seen him. Her eyes clashed against his and he felt it like a breath of heated air hitting his lungs, or maybe deeper than that.

"Elijah," escaped her in a rattled breath, before a mask slid over her face, and the role she was clearly trying to play reasserted itself "you're a little late, aren't you?"

Only by the minute he'd taken to assess her.

"You colored your hair," he noticed now that he was in front of her, the bright streak of red almost calling to him to touch. Usually, he'd resist but there was a reckless air around her that seemed to work on Elijah like a spell. He walked over, narrowing the distance between them, and slowly ran his fingers over the colored strand. "I like it."

He considered a few scenarios in the next second.

Maybe to let her keep thinking himself fooled. There was a certain attractive quality to that too, he could get a taste of what it would be like to have her for a few precious seconds without risking her reading his heart like a book. But... maybe it was time to show his hand, he'd left her to her human life knowing that he could not offer her true happiness in the kind of future she had chosen for herself. But she was no longer human.

To lean closer into her personal space, nose pressed a hair's breadth from her throat so that he could identify every minor difference between her scent now and the memory of the one he'd smelled when he'd first met her, - miraculously human despite the old certainty that Katerina had left no descendants. The same Elena who was no less a miracle to him now, though for far more viscerally personal reasons, - but that would undoubtedly put an end to the game, and Elijah wasn't yet decided he was ready to close it.

And though her heart was unlikely to have changed in so brief a time, there was now an eternity in front of Elena. Maybe making himself entirely clear here would be the smartest thing despite the increased risk of injury to Elijah’s heart.

He weighed his options, letting his thumb run over the skin above her pulse point. The blood heating something within him sparked to life when he felt the pulse skip a beat.

"Thank you, it's actually gonna-"

He slid his fingers deeper into her hair, gently cupping the back of her head, and caught her eye to make sure she'd be looking at him. To be certain he was making himself utterly translucent to her.

"I missed you, Elena," he said, and before she had time to do more than blink he leaned forward and caught her lips against his own.

He felt her breath stutter as the world seemed to slow around them, and then pleasure rippled through Elijah's entire being as he realized that Elena was kissing him back. He felt eyelashes tickle his skin as her eyes closed and she seemed to pull him toward her. He'd been ready to loosen his hold upon the first sign of Elena trying to pull away but the way her lips moved against his, - the way they opened to deepen the kiss as one of her hands clenched around the shoulder of his suit, - made him press her closer instead.

For an extended slip of an eternity, Elijah felt only the nearly savage bliss of finally having Elena in his arms. He didn’t think there was a power on Earth that could make him move. But then he felt something change from her side. She wasn't trying to pull away, if anything she was pouring more into their kiss - or maybe it was more like she was pulling the energy from every spot of shared contact deeper into herself. Whatever it was, he felt it crash against Elena like a wave as her knees seemed to buckle underneath her and he had to encircle her waist to keep her on her feet. She began shaking and he tried to lean back, worry starting to overtake want but his movement made her gasp out a wounded sound of something nearly like agony. He let himself swing back to place a few shorter feather-light kisses against her lips and the pained whimper quieted into rapid gasps for air.

He tasted tears against his lips and his chest tightened with flickers of fear. Something was wrong.

"Elijah," she finally spoke, voice ragged, like her heart was being torn apart "it hurts."

Understanding dawned as he met her agonized eyes. "You’d turned it off."

"No!" she snapped, rage igniting and momentarily replacing the pain of her returning humanity. "My sire told me to turn it off."

The words were a White Oak Ash Dagger slicing into Elijah’s chest, and the metaphor was nearly perfect because everything within him certainly felt like it was going numb and hardening into stone. She was speaking of a sire bond. And of someone who had used it to rob her of her free will.

Quiet fury now pouring from his every cell he collected each line of tears with his thumb, finally cupping the side of Elena’s face so carefully he could only just feel her cheek against the tips of his fingers.

“Who?”

She spoke the name with something nearly empty in her eyes and Elijah took it in the way of a hired killer being given their next target.

[devils-servent]

Can you write something where the reader let's the boys stay but doesn't date any of them officially, but her and Sam make out for energy but they both want more so one day they kiss without the energy drain and its like HOLY CRAP HE FEELS THE SAME for a split second but then the kiss becomes more? Sorry if that's too specific lol,

I'm so sorry anon I thought I had posted this months ago! Turns out I had not!! And I’ve been so busy and distracted I did not notice. But, Not at all too specific! Wasn't sure if you wanted smut or not so I added a line break thingy in case that isn’t your vibe. 

AFAB fem!reader x Sam and this is written in second person so sorry about that if it's rough because that's why this took too long (except the fact that I didn't notice this did get posted so that comment doesn't really matter anymore :P)  -_- but I struggle a bit with second sometimes. 

NSFW: minors preferably DNI but you choose what you interact with so be wise Tags: L-bombs, Slight overstimulation, Creampie, slight praise kink, Vaginal sex, make outs, Crossposted to A03, (lemme know if I’ve missed a key tag).

This work was inspired by Michaela Laws' Seduce me series. I own none of the characters here and you should definitely check out her stuff!! https://www.michaelaamandalaws.com/links

Mutual love Word count: 1.8k 

The sun was beaming down on you as you led in your deck chair on the balcony. peeking down at some of the brothers relaxing in the garden. You smiled as Matthew and Sam began having a water fight much to Erik's chagrin as he was attempting to sunbathe.

“Will you pair quit it?” 

Times like this you were really glad she allowed the boys to stay, no matter how daunting that decision actually was at the time. They were like a little family and you cared for them as if they were their brothers. Except Sam, you felt something more for him. It started small, with you casting lingering looks on his broad, strong frame. Then it grew to deciding to seek his company over his brothers, even when you had first met and he wasn’t too keen on you at all!. You had such a huge crush on him even if you struggled to admit that to yourself. It sucked though. you were almost certain he didn’t feel the same way, why would he? He was an Incubus! he could have literally anyone he wanted and it was unlikely that was you. 

You knew how he felt, how he tasted on your lips, he had made out with you in the past but it was always because he was starving. Like when you first met, and he robbed your first kiss, igniting a desire in you, you had long though you lacked. Or before he fought Malix after he had a shower and you were delivering dinner. But it was always a kiss and nothing more. 

You Sighed and got up, meandering down the stairs to the kitchen. Glancing out of the window and saw James and Damien had joined the other three brothers and they sat at the bottom of the garden talking. That is cute. You plodded over to the toaster in the corner and popped a bagel in and sighed gently, slightly slumped over the counter.

You knew you should probably tell him at some point, lest lose the chance at all. But it was easier said than done. If you just waited for the right moment, the perfect opportunity then maybe just maybe…

“Heya Doofus, Whatcha doing?” 

Sam strode in, shutting the patio doors behind him, plopping himself beside you. He was shirtless, only in his shorts, skin slightly tacky where he had been goofing around. You gave a coy smile at him, gesturing vaguely to the toaster. 

“Cooking, obviously” 

You jumped a little as the bagel popped out, laughing at yourself. Sam had no response, he just looked at you. There was a strange look in his eye, one you were hesitant to identify. Your breath shallows, stepping back a little intimidated. Sam stepped forward, filling the space you had created and you bump into the counter behind you. He brought his arm above you resting it on the cabinet and effectively pinning you in place. 

“Umm, Sam I-”

He cupped your chin and brought your lips up to his, gently grazing them with his own. Your heart was pounding, you could feel it in your ear drums. He probably needed energy, hence the strange demeanour. 

“Is this okay? Do you mind if I kiss you?” 

You nodded gently, anticipating the energy drain. His lips met yours in a gentle kiss, one distinctly lacking something. 

“Wait, where's the energy drain? I thought you needed energy?”

Sam sighed and pulled back, standing awkwardly in front of you. 

“I mean I could take your energy if you want me too but I’m- I…”  He sighed deeply, taking your hand in his and smoothing his fingers over your knuckles. “I love you (Y/N). and I’ve known for a while and it's okay if you don’t. We can keep the dynamic we had. But- I love you. And, I'd like something more, we can take it slow go at your pace but I-” 

You cut him off, your hand snaking to the back of his head and pulling him down to your level and kissing him. “I Love you too, I knew I did- i just never thought you would feel the same.” you smiled tearfully. 

The corner of his mouth twitched into a grin. You were pulled into a kiss. It was sloppy and eager. You raked your hands through his hair and pulled him closer. Pulling away and gasping, cheeks flushed and lips glistening. His hands wandered down your hips, cupping your butt and picking you up. 

“Come on, let's go upstairs and talk” 

He had teleported you upstairs and plopped you down on the bed. His lips found yours again as his hands wandered your body. Fingers dipping into the waistband of your pyjamas and finding your underwear. Running the pad of his fingers down over the seams caused you to let out a whimper. 

“Please, Sam! I-” 

Cutting you off with his lips, you could feel his smirk as he kissed your cheek. His kisses trailed down your neck and onto your chest where he cupped your breasts through your shirt. As he pulled off your shirt slowly, with small teasing touches, before smiling at the sight. He gave you a slow kiss on the lips before pulling away and pushing you down onto the bed. 

“We’re supposed to be talking,” he said, chuckling at your flushed expression. 

You relaxed, settling into the bed, turning to look at Sam beside you. “I can’t believe you love me too”

He smiled and brought you closer “Why wouldn’t I? You’re all I've wanted since we set foot in this house and that will never change” he wrapped his arms around your waist cuddling his face into your neck as he shifted to be the big spoon. You settled into his touch, happy and content that your feelings were reciprocated. 

You had stripped down into a shirt and your underwear and him just his pyjama pants and just cuddled for a while. You just basked in the others presence and mutual feeling for each other, idly discussing your crushes on each other and everything you want to do together. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Soon, his hands began to wander. His hands travelled down your waist, fingers creeping up your shirt and tracing the waistband of your underwear. You sucked in a breath at his touch and pushed your hips into his hands, tilting your head to meet his lips ghosting them over his. 

“Are you sure you want to…” he started, a blush creeping across his face as he took heavy breaths. 

You answered him with a kiss and you felt his smirk against your lips and he shifted to sit up and pulled you onto his lap. You subconsciously began to grind your hips into his feeling his rock hard cock through your panties. You let out a soft moan that was captured by his mouth, soon getting lost in the feeling of his mouth on yours and his cock teasing your pussy. 

Sam’s eyes began to glow a soft gold and warmth pumped through your body. You didn’t notice when he pulled your panties down, you just felt a finger circle clit as you rolled your hips. You buried your head into his neck. Crying out his name as he teased you. 

“Aww, Your so wet and so needy, do you want me to fuck you?” he breathed, voice deep with poorly restrained arousal. He moved his hands, one supported your waist and one wrapped around his own cock as he rubbed it along your entrance. “You're so soaked, you want this cock don’t you”. 

Crying out as he teased, you were barely able to marshall your tongue into responding a weak “yes, please Aomaris” Your use of his demon name set something off in him. He makes a noise somewhere between a moan and a growl as he slides into you with ease. Rolling his hips gently into you at first, cautiously watching for signs of discomfort. Your fingers found their way into his hair. Looking him in the eyes as you cried out for him to go faster. He did what he was told, hips moving at a speed you did not think was possible. His hand had moved back to circle your clit and you gasped at the sensation. Thrusting your hips into his hand desperately. 

Your eyes were screwed shut, panting as he drove you to your orgasm. As sweat began to bead and drip down your forehead, Sam looked at you lovingly. “You’re so beautiful, do you know that doofus? And you’re all mine.” he pulled his bottom lip in-between his teeth, biting as he attempted to control his thrusts.  

Arching your back, you attempted to get him in deeper–pushing your cunt flush against his hips. You open your eyes and reach towards him, placing your palm upon his chest. You admired his chiselled chest. You needed him. “Need it Harder…” You begged.

His eyes screwed shut barely maintaining his control. When Sam opened his eyes, the emerald green had been all but washed away, leaving nothing but dark pupils in their wake. He pulled out of you and flipped you, your face now buried into the pillows on your bed. You arched your back teasingly, spreading your legs weakly as your wetness dripping down your legs. 

Sam cupped your pussy with his hand, running his thumb over your flushed and dripping hole. He plunged his hips up and pushed into you with desperation “Is this what you needed?” The growl that left his throat, only pushed you closer to the edge. He continued to thrust into you his hands grasping at your ass and then tracing your spine. His consistent teasing touches made you melt into the bed beneath you. 

“Please don’t stop, Sam I’m gonna…” He pulled you up from the bed, spreading your legs and pressing his chest into your back and burying his head in your neck without his cock ever leaving you. He dropped his hand back at your clit, keeping his pace as he encouraged you to cum. 

“Do It, cum all over my thick cock baby. Its okay” He kept going murmuring praises and saucy comments as he fucked you. “Im gonna cum Baby, are you gonna cum with me? All over me?” and with that you did. You clenched around his cock as he brought you to your orgasm, you feverishly rode he cock desperate to feel his cum inside you. Soon you felt it, his hips stuttering and plunging even deeper into you as he let out a deep moan. He teased your clit again, the over sensitivity leading to you cuming again and you felt your energy being pulled out of you as you came.

His grip was tight around you as you shook. Eyes shutting again and legs quivering, you basked in the bliss for who knows how long. Soon you felt the call of sleep and you settled in his arms, his magic rolling over you and the bed. 

“I love you” you spoke out, voice hoarse and weak as he pulled you off his cock and tucked you into bed. He soon settled next to you, laying a delicate kiss on your forehead. 

“I love you too (Y/n),”