#it’s a goal I have set to myself so I must achieve it!

[making-my-wey-down-town]

November prompt list challenge 2022, Day 5 - Parental/Caretaker

Look! Gregory has cousins now! Wiggles and Giggles (my OC’s) YIPPEE

The trouble this trio can bring… lol let’s not worry too soon, they need to get along first

[hermajestyimher]

This Is How We Will Own 2023:

We're less than a month away from the New Year, and as such, it is important that we begin to set the foundations and plans we have to not only succeed, but make 2023 a memorable year.

Regardless of how 2022 went for you, regardless of how many goals you were able to achieve, a new year marks a new beginning. Do not beat yourself over how things went, focus on how you can improve them moving forward.

In 2023 we're:

Spending less time being passive scrollers online. The pandemic is over, the world is back in action and so must we. It's time to stop letting our minds be consumed by the opinions of thousands of people on the internet. More often than not, the things we read online come from the psyche of mentally unwell individuals, and given social media's tendency to prompt out the voices of the most unhinged, it gives people that shouldn't have a platform a false sense of authority. In 2023 we're getting off the grid as much as we can and reconnecting with the real world. We will not allow this online façade to swallow us into its void any longer.

Spending more time learning and engaging in high-end activities and hobbies that can elevate our social circle and our taste. Things like polo matches, pilates, ballet, opera, piano classes, poetry, political forums, martial arts, and high-intensity sports, among other things. It is crucial to cultivate a persona that engages in a variety of fulfilling activities that can bring us joy but also help us grow as individuals.

Prioritizing our health and fitness. No more excuses, it's time to cut down on added sugar and refined carbs, time to eat more nutrient-dense whole foods, drink plenty of water daily, invest in vitamin injections every other month, take supplements to improve our body's collagen production, and overcome feelings of laziness by pushing ourselves through fitness goals. 2023 we will make of the gym our sanctuary.

Living below our budget and investing as much as we can. If you haven't already, get a financial advisor, develop long and short-term financial goals and get organized with your income. It doesn't matter if in the past you've felt like your financial habits have not been the most adequate, it's never too late to take control of them and be responsible. We owe to ourselves to spend wisely to have the peace of mind financial security brings. Never go broke trying to impress others.

We're no longer entertaining inadequate men. I must admit I'm guilty of this myself. After years of not dating, getting back into the dating scene has felt extremely disappointing and tiring. Most prospects are simply not up to par with the standards I have and what I want out of my life partner. Sometimes we allow ourselves to become desperate to build these types of romantic relationships that we begin to overlook the things that we really want deep down. In 2023, we're refocusing our attention on living our best lives and being as active as possible in real-life events as touched upon previously, and trust that the right dating prospects will present themselves when we least expect. We attract, we don't chase.

Finally, we're overcoming negative self-talk patterns that hinder our growth. We're investing in therapy, we're unlearning the limiting beliefs that keep us in bondage to people, routines, and views of the world that are not good for us. We have to put an end to the insidious lie of the scarcity mindset, overcome past traumas, and look forward to the good things that are yet to come.

There are many more things I could add to this list, but for now, these are the things I and I know many of you will find helpful on improving on for the year to come. These lists can come out as intimidating to some people, but we have to remember that we are not expected to become the ideal version of ourselves overnight. Growth is a marathon, not a sprint, and it requires consistency. Each day that you wake up and choose to do one or two things differently you're making stride towards that better you. No improvement is ever too little.

Let's make 2023 a memorable year, and every year afterwards.

Daphne.

[iridessence]

I would like to take a moment to acknowledge myself and say that I am elated and proud to have manifested some of my major goals since 2018-2019. Basically before then, 2014-16 I struggled with depression and suicidal ideation quite frequently due to not having steady income, as jobs in retail seemed the only available and “safe” options, but long shifts standing at a registers or posts were damagingly hard on my body. In 2017 I got a desk job that set me on the path of financial stability and reduced physical load, which did absolute wonders for my mental health but it was an absolute blight to my existence over time due to terrible management and the usual corporate garbage. I knew that staying there was fine for a time but not sustainable in the long run, so change must come eventually.

also around then, I continued to explore self portraiture and personal style but I really wanted to perform/create Burlesque acts and book them, and invest in and actually have choreography/technique and beautiful costume pieces that looked like the visions refining themselves in my head through research. I was also perpetually struggling in the dating sphere with the deficit of romantic fulfillment that I deeply wanted. and while they weren’t hostile, things were definitely weird with my family (dysfunctional, literal small town energy, upset that I didn’t want to be around them more in the suburbs but lots of interpersonal toxicity and lack of emotional growth).

I knew that in the coming years I wanted to…

quit my soul sucking job and set out to be a full-time or at least professional level burlesque performer, creating the qualitative and classic show girl acts I dream to see on stage

work on the floor at a boutique or mom-and-pop type shop that sells goods or services that are interesting to me, especially aesthetically, such as an antique shop or a jewelry boutique etc., but a place where I could sit intermittently as needed for my physical disability. Also, ideally it would be a position where I could express myself through style at my choosing and it would be received well, and also my hours would not be very early or very late.

find a loving and supporting partner who I could lavish equal amounts of love and support on to, live with and hopefully marry

Achieve/maintain financial stability enough that I have a reduced risk for homelessness and sometimes treat myself to things that I enjoy.

Figure out why the relationship with my family was such a struggle and do things within my power and desire to fix it.

In a world that isn’t a corporate machine devoid of empathy, none of that seems like a tall order to ask… but I live in America so… It took some time, but I’m starting to see the fruits and returns. Honestly sometimes things feel like a blur and I’m not exactly sure I could say there was a huge system to what I did overtime to make it work, but I know the work was there.

As of today, September 9, 2023:

I am a respected professional burlesque performer with costumes I figuratively gag over and acts that come closer and closer to hitting the aesthetic nail on the head for what I want to embody. (I quit that shitty desk job at the beginning of 2019 and haven’t looked back since. Sent a whole ass company wide message with a long and detailed “fuck you” too.😂🙈)

i’ve managed through burlesque, social media work, donations and savings, and —since the global pandemic—,odd jobs and grants/minimal loans, to continuously pay rent and ward off homelessness 

I live with the love of my life, to whom I am engaged and actively planning our wedding (we looked at a venue yesterday!)

I’ve helped my mom on the growth of her emotional intelligence and commitment to learning more about values under the race, gender, and sexuality umbrella, as well pushed her to examine the enabling and entitlement dynamics with her adult children that take advantage of her. While my relationship with my brother and sister is not great, my relationship with my mom has been steadily getting better since the pandemic. we had a breakthrough at the beginning of this year where she acknowledged and apologized for guilt tripping me for not being around the family more, when I was (she quoted) “actually protecting myself like she should have been.”

and litcherally within the past week I was offered the job at a local boutique I interviewed with a year ago and didn’t get, and I signed an offer letter to begin work within the month. 

To say I’m happy with the way things look right now is an understatement. The world still terrifies me, but I have no choice but to carve out a sliver of its beautiful experiences for myself, and I am doing just that. It may not be perfection, but it’s pretty damn good and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep it that way and make it even better. I am living my ancestors' wildest dreams!!

for anyone reading who might be struggling right now to make things work, I hope you hold on to hope that it can get better. A beautiful life is possible even on this hell scape, even for the marginalized.

[marciaillust]

How long does it take for you to finish drawing?

I'm an artist (beginner) and i unconsciously set unrealistic goals for myself and need a reminder of how long it takes to complete a drawing, Thanks.

Hi! In the context you presented it in, that is a really interesting question, so I'll try to approach it thoroughly. I hope I won't make you roll your eyes too much.

Where to start, where to start... I guess the first thing I should say is that there is a difference between time I spend preforming the action of <drawing>, and the time I spent <working> on a particular piece. The first would be counted in hours, the second one - days. I'm a big believer in slowing things down, and giving things time - going through options, gathering research and references, taking breaks every 1h of sitting and drawing - and seeing things through until I achieve the goal I set at the beginning of the process.

The goals are usually different each time: "quick design", "character exploration", "analysis of an artist's linework and experimenting with the knowledge gained", "creating an aesthetically pleasing image", and so on and so forth. Of course I don't write these down like it's a school assignment, but knowing in the back of my head what I'm actually doing helps me manage my expectations. I also enjoy being conscious of why I create - when I was younger regardless of what I was doing I had the thought "AND IT MUST LOOK GOOD AND PRESENTABLE! BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL LOOK!" ...and I think that obsession is the cancer of creative process.

Since the goals for each picture are different, the time I'll spent on achieving each one will be different as well, because the "satisfactory results" lay in different places. For example, the Marcile sketchpage was created in one afternoon, and took approximately 3 hours. The goal was to play around with a brush that has no opacity forcing my lines to be more decisive. I did that and so it is "finished". There's nothing else I want from it.

On the other hand, the cover of Asterism took about 10 days to create, the goal of which was to make "an aesthetically pleasing cover picture taking colour inspiration from the works of (specific list of artists)". I took my time designing it so that it looks aesthetically pleasing, made sure the anatomy is "correct" (a nebulous statement when it comes to stylised humans), took my time masking, and picking colours, and shading. I wanted it to "look good" to my own eyes so if something was not working I would go back, change it, alter it, move it around... that's the wonderful thing about personal art, you can take as long as you like making something satisfactory.

The funny thing is, with what the Asterism cover actually is (a cellshaded image), it could have been done probably in 4 days by the me 4 years ago. But that person was willing to sit 8-10 hours a day to draw with no breaks, she had little social life, and treated herself as a little circus seal performing tricks so that people clap around her, and the clapping was soooo nice because it meant that people remembered her and she mattered. And it worked for her! For long 10 years! Until her arm gave out, and the reality of never being able to draw again became more tangible than ever, and it's been following her like a fog ever since for the past 4 years. The me today works about 4 hours a day and every hour I take about a 30 minute break. I also don't post half the stuff I draw. There is also another aspect that dictates the speed of creating and that is familiarity with the subject matter. The less you know something, the fast you'll draw it! But as you get to know the intricacies of the process, and see all the building blocks, it will start taking *longer* because you will start accounting for every block. But then you'll eventually get familiar with the blocks and so the time spent on a picture will go down again! The cool yet overwhelming thing about art is that, there are always hundreds of building blocks. Form, composition, ambient occlusion, saturation, hue, light balance, line form...... and those are just the *some* of the generalised *categories*. And each category will have it's own subsection of building blocks! And then those blocks will interact with each other to create completely new area of expertise! This is crazy! Marcille sketch page took me only 3 hours to create because I am already quite familiar with linework - I have drawn 3-4 comicbooks worth of linework. This also means I am familiar with believable anatomy, more or less, which got utilised in the Asterism cover - the main bulk of linework got created during a 3h livestream. So.... what's the answer.... "It's all relative" is so unsatisfactory and probably not what you looked for. But you can draw something in 3 days and kill your body over it. Or you can become an expert in a field and dish the same picture out effortlessly in 8 hours. You can also split that 8h block over multiple days bringing you back up to 3 days. You could even add a whole day of visual research which might make your picture only marginally better. And even if we calculate it in terms of raw working time, pen-to-paper, like a self-inflicted capitalist tumor, that time can fluctuate still due to personal visual library and knowledge base. If I asked Tom Fox how long it takes for him to create his sketch pages his answer would probably be downward of 30 minutes. Yet I need whole 3 hours to create something *less* anatomically correct than him. And so here we are at the end of this perhaps unnecessary essay. And all we learned is this: it depends. Dry, not nuanced tl;dr, my personal timings: single sketch - 30mins; single linework pic 1-2h; Cellshaded illust - 16h; Rendered illust: 20-25h.

[fairestar]

“awakened imagination” by neville goddard · a summary

this post is the first of a forthcoming set in which i summarise and simplify neville goddard’s book “awakened imagination”. you can read the original here, and you can check other summaries here. please note this book is heavily reliant on his religion and, as much as i will try to make it as non-religious and simple as possible, there are still passages and comparisons that i can't take out without hindering neville words’ meaning. take these posts as if i were taking notes for future reference during class.

❁ chapter I : who is your imagination?

“imagination” is the kind of word that has been used for so long it has gathered plenty of different meanings, which often oppose each other: thought, hallucination, suspicion... neville identifies “imagination” with the power that makes achievement of our goals inevitable. there is only one thing in the world: imagination, and all our deformations of it. imagination is the very gateway to reality.

according to blake, man is only a natural organ subject to sense; the eternal body of man is imagination: god itself, the divine body. by imagination we have the power to be anything we desire to be; only as we live by imagination can we truly be said to live at all.

with this book, neville wants you to function imaginatively, to open your “immortal eyes inwards into the worlds of thought”, where you have all of your heart's desires ripe and ready to harvest. imagination is the hidden mystery from the ages, the hope of glory.

“every man is mary and birth to christ must give”.

imagination's birth and growth is the gradual transition from a god of tradition to a god of experience. if the birth of imagination in you seems slow it is because you are unwilling to let go of that comfortable, but false, grasp to tradition.

man is the garden in which christ —imagination— sleeps. man is awakened by his imagination getting lifted up to heaven and being made god-like. in the moment of awakening, he meets the test of sonship, of his imagination being christ: the forgiveness of sin (“sin” meaning failing to achieve one's aim in life, falling short of one's ideal; “forgiveness” meaning identification of man with his aim/ideal in life). this tests man's ability to inhabit the nature of his opposite (go from the state of the undesirable self to the state of the desirable self), to perform the work of an awakened imagination.

is imagination power sufficient to, not only enable us to assume, but to execute the idea too?

suppose i desire to be in some other place, but i lack the social and financial resources to do so; could i, just by imagining myself in such place, cause the physical realization? would only my imagination be sufficient to incarnate my desire? does imagination understand what is deducted from the senses? does it recognise the outer world?

suppose i am capable of sustaining the feeling of the wish fulfilled, of acting with continuous imagination; will my assumption harden into fact? and if it does, will i find that my actions throughout this period have been reasonable? after assuming that i already am that which i desire, must i constantly guide myself by “reasonable” ideas and actions so as to cause the fulfillment of my assumption?

the answer to all these questions is that an assumption, though false, if persisted in, will harden into fact; continuous imagination is sufficient for all things, all of our “reasonable” plans and actions won't ever make up for our lack of continuous imagination.

“imagine that you are and you shall be”.

truth depends upon the intensity of imagination, not upon external facts. you become what you imagine. you have a self-determined history. imagination is the truth, the life revealed.

but the thing is, we cannot get hold of truth with the logical mind (stop thinking and worrying about the how! logic does not come into play here, let it go, you don't need it), it cannot be enclosed by facts: as we awaken to the imaginative life, we discover that imagining a thing is to create it, that true judgement doesn't need to conform to the outer world to which it relates (this means, the truth doesn't always look the same as the 3D does at that moment).

the imaginative man does not deny the reality of the sensuous outer world (3D), but knows that the inner world of continuous imagination (4D) is the force by which the outer world comes to pass. he sees the 3D and all its situations as projections of the 4D. to him, everything is a manifestation of the mental activity present in his imagination, without the outer, reasonable man being aware of it. he knows that everyone must become aware of their inner activity, and the relationship between the inner and outer worlds.

the moment you discover that your imagination is god-like, you accomplish acts that can only be described as miraculous. but until you realise that everything you come across is part of yourself, you won't accept that you are the one that has chosen the conditions of your life, that they are in affinity to your mental activity. you must firmly believe that reality lies within you, not without; although others have bodies and lives of their own, their reality is rooted in you and ends in you.

it is a marvelous thing to discover that you can imagine yourself into the state of your wish fulfilled and escape the prison of ignorance. embrace this new knowledge and let go of your past beliefs for they're untrue. live in continuous imagination and make your desires come to pass.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ© fairestar, 2023.

[atrueneutral]

Hi! I adore how you write from Raphael's perspective, it's so good! I wanted to send you this prompt; I hope you enjoy.

Raphael monologuing and/or being his smug self only to be surprised by "his" little mouse interrupting him by grabbing the collar of his clothing and dragging the cambion in to a searing kiss before she says something like 'You talk to much' or 'I got the gist, thank you' and gracefully striding off before he can even think to react. (your choice if Tav does this when it's just her and Raphael or if she pulls this stunt in front of a group of her companions who would likely be left there stunned for a few moments as well)

Thank you! For this prompt, I had to go with Tav’s POV! —

“-and therefore the Orphic Hammer is your best option - I am your best option. Time is becoming scarce for you and your companions. The quaking of the earth is a tell-tale sign that the end draws near, and decisions must be made if you hope to claim victory over the tadpole burrowing in your brain. The illithid cannot be trusted - relying on such a self-serving and soulless abomination brings you closer to the edge of becoming a soulless abomination yourself! I would hate for that pretty face of yours to be hideously tentacled and saw toothed…”

Raphael paused to leer at what was presently a non-tentacled face. 

“Meanwhile, I am honest and can be trusted. I have proven myself to be a man, well, a devil of my word! There is–”

She knew the human she looked at wasn’t the cambion’s true form, but that didn’t stop Tav from thinking he had nice teeth, a nice tongue, and nice lips.

Overall: Raphael had a very nice mouth.

She liked the way it smiled and smirked, how it sneered whenever her companions spoke instead of her.

Yes, it was a nice mouth with nice, soft lips that… kept moving.

Which was fine; Raphael had a lovely, rich voice to accompany his nice mouth that was soothing to listen to.

He didn’t need to talk this much; Tav had made up her mind to sign the contract days ago - without Raphael’s yammering. However, at this point, she wanted him to work for it.

And work for it he did.

Raphael finished up his monologue, and he stared at Tav with a raised brow and a charming, debonair smile on that nice mouth of his.

Because she hadn’t been paying attention, Tav did not know what he was waiting for - a question or an answer. She faintly recalled his nice mouth saying ‘trust’ a number of times, so she decided to craft her response around that.

“How do I know I can really trust you?” she asked. 

Raphael’s nice mouth frowned as his brow pinched in irritation.

Karlach groaned behind her. “Oh, don’t get him going again! Let’s just get out of here, yeah? We’ll figure something else out - anything is better than this…”

Raphael ignored her companion as he tended to often do; she was their leader (for good or for ill), and she was the lynchpin for achieving his goals.

“Are you not paying attention, Little Mouse?”

She liked when his rich voice became a snake’s rattle - cautioning her to take heed with the game she was playing.

“You claim to be trustworthy and yet you flipped the tables on Yurgir,” Tav easily replied. “You tricked him with your terms. How can I not expect the same?”

His eyes narrowed, but she managed to set Raphael’s nice mouth off to the races again. 

“The wording of Yurgir’s contract was explicit and exact. The developments that occurred—“

His voice hypnotized her as Raphael kept talking, and Tav could not look away. Her thoughts strayed into territory she would be wise to stay out of. She wondered how he kissed; she wondered how his nice silver tongue would taste when it was licking hers; she wondered if his nice teeth would nibble and bite…

She wondered if his nice lips would feel nice against hers…

Mild wariness appeared on Raphael’s smug face at her sudden approach. She did not look away from the nice mouth that was still moving - still talking, and Tav grabbed the collar of his doublet to pull him in. Her eyes closed as her lips landed against his - shutting the cambion up with a kiss.

He made a gruff sound of surprise, and her companions were quick to react.

“What in the Hells, Tav!” shouted Karlach. 

“An embarrassing display,” remarked Lae’zel.

Jaheira simply sighed - in disapproval.

Out of respect for the others in the room, the kiss did not progress into the scene she daydreamed, but that did not stop Tav from gently tugging on Raphael’s lower lip before stepping away and releasing him.

Having stolen his smugness, she left the cambion rigid and quiet.

“I got the gist,” Tav said, secretly pleased at her ability to throw him off kilter. “I will need a day to think everything over but have duly taken your words into consideration. Thank you, Raphael.”

In a blink, she turned heel, striding for the door, and her baffled companions were quick to follow. 

Yes, Raphael had a very nice mouth.

Tav wondered what he thought of hers…

[PART II - Raphael’s POV]

[writingquestionsanswered]

How Much World Building is Too Much?

Anonymous asked: This question is on behalf of my cousin who came to me for advice. When he has an idea, he writes the most detailed worldbuilding EVER, designs the characters and has a general idea of how the story will go, but then when he starts writing he does maybe 2 chapters and it dies. I, on the other hand, do ZERO worldbuilding ahead of time (I don't need much) and end up finishing 80% of what I start out to write. How do you know how much worldbuilding is enough? How do you keep from spending so much time planning that by the time you get to writing, you don't know where you're going with the actual story? I want to help him but our styles are so different, I don't know where to start.💔

(Ask edited for length...)

I identify with your cousin a lot, because this is often how my stories go. I'm first inspired by a place, or the idea of a place, and everything sort of grows out from there. In my early days, I would also pour everything into world building and character creation, only to find myself falling flat with the story. And a big part of that, I learned, was that I didn't really understand how stories worked. It was easy to build a world and set up characters, but since I didn't understand story structure, I didn't understand how to flesh out the nugget of a story idea I had to go with that setting.

So, one thing you might do is try to get a feel for where your cousin is in that respect. You can start by asking pointed questions about the potential plot, and if he doesn't have answers already, it will help guide him in that direction. Some questions I would ask:

1 - Who is your protagonist? What is their "normal world" life like before things are turned upside down with the inciting incident?

2 - Who and what is important to your protagonist? (Stakes)

3 - What past experiences have led to them being who they are now?

4 - What needs to change about your protagonist's life, beliefs, or values?

5 - What happens to turn your protagonist's world upside down? (Inciting incident) Who (or what) causes this to happen? (Antagonistic force)

6 - How does this affect your protagonist specifically, and what goal do they decide to pursue in order to resolve the problem?

7 - What steps does your protagonist plan to take in order to reach their goal? What knowledge, skills, resources, or help must they acquire in order to achieve their goal?

8 - What obstacles does the antagonistic force create that the protagonist must overcome on their way to the goal?

9 - How do the events of the story help to change your protagonist's life circumstances, beliefs, or values for better or worse? How will they change by the end of the story?

10 - How does your protagonist face off against the antagonistic force, attempting to defeat them once and for all in order to reach their goal? Are they successful? What is the aftermath and how is the character's world/life changed--for better or worse--as a result of these events?

If your cousin can answer these questions, they'll have a reasonably well fleshed out plot that should help carry them through the story. How little or much planning of the plot ahead of time they need is something they'll need to discover over time, but if the above isn't enough to help them get through the story, they might want to go back and flesh out the specific plot points. You can point them in the direction of my post Creating a Detailed Story Outline, which suggest several different story structure templates they can look at to help them coax out the specific plot points of their story. And, bear in mind that story structure templates do not have to be followed exactly. They're just a guide to help you flesh out the story. Many writers like to combine different elements of different plot structures as a loose guide as they write their stories.

I hope this helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[lawofattractiodiary]

Positive Morning Affirmations

I am successful.

I am confident.

I am powerful.

I am strong.

I am getting better and better every day.

All I need is within me right now.

I wake up motivated.

I am an unstoppable force of nature.

I am a living, breathing example of motivation.

I am living with abundance.

I am having a positive and inspiring impact on the people I come into contact with.

I am inspiring people through my work.

I’m rising above the thoughts that are trying to make me angry or afraid.

Today is a phenomenal day.

I am turning DOWN the volume of negativity in my life, while simultaneously turning UP the volume of positivity.

I am filled with focus.

I am not pushed by my problems; I am led by my dreams.

I am grateful for everything I have in my life.

I am independent and self-sufficient.

I can be whatever I want to be.

I am not defined my by past; I am driven by my future.

I use obstacles to motivate me to learn and grow.

Today will be a productive day.

I am intelligent and focused.

I feel more grateful each day.

I am getting healthier every day.

Each and every day, I am getting closer to achieving my goals.

Through the power of my thoughts and words, incredible transformations are happening in me and within my life right now.

I am constantly growing and evolving into a better person.

I’m freeing myself from all destructive doubt and fear.

I accept myself for who I am and create peace, power and confidence of mind and of heart.

I am going to forgive myself and free myself. I deserve to forgive and be forgiven.

I am healing and strengthening every day.

I’ve made it through hard times before, and I’ve come out stronger and better because of them. I’m going to make it through this.

I do not waste away a single day of my life. I squeeze every ounce of value out of each of my days on this planet—today, tomorrow, and everyday.

I must remember the incredible power I possess within me to achieve anything I desire.

I do not engage with people who try to penetrate my mind with unhelpful thoughts and ideas—I walk away when a person or a situation isn’t healthy for me.

I belong in this world; there are people that care about me and my worth.

My past might be ugly, but I am still beautiful.

I have made mistakes, but I will not let them define me.

My soul radiates from the inside and warms the souls of others.

I don’t compare myself to others. The only person I compare myself to is the person I was yesterday. And as long as the person I am today is even the tiniest bit better than the person I was yesterday—I’m meeting my own definition of success.

Note to self: I am going to make you so proud.

I finish what matters and let go of what does not.

I feed my spirit. I train my body. I focus my mind. This is my time.

My life has meaning. What I do has meaning. My actions are meaningful and inspiring.

What I have done today was the best I was able to do today. And for that, I am thankful.

One small positive thought in the morning can change my whole day. So, today I rise with a powerful thought to set the tone and allow success to reverberate through every moment of my day.

I set goals and go after them with all the determination I can muster. When I do this, my own skills and talents will take me to places that amaze me.

Happiness is a choice, and today I choose to be happy.

[noodledesk]

been doing some new year planning, so thought i should document a little and share how i like to plan out my years :) MUCH more detail under the cut 🌱💗 and a free template here if you like to use notion for this stuff!

overview 🌱

there are a couple of principles behind why i do this kind of yearly planning in one spot:

awareness — keeping yourself accountable for the goals you set at the beginning of the year

documentation — writing down stuff you’ve done so you can see what progress youve made towards goals. fun to look at

planning — makes it easier to plan your weeks and to be more intentional with how you’re spending time and enjoying life

how it works ✨

my yearly pages are sorted into a "goals" section, and a "records" section. one is forward looking, one is reflecting on stuff that's happened. i usually revisit this page at least once a month.

It doesn't have to be on Notion, but I prefer using a digital tool so things are easy to access. Paper-based is totally fine -- whatever works for you. The main point is to have a structure. Additionally, I don't really need to accomplish my goals, as long as I'm working towards them. However, setting ambitious goals for myself helps me make progress, and gets me excited about working towards them :)

goals 🌻

Whenever I have an idea of something I want to do, I put it down as a goal in this database. But my rule for myself is that, at any given time, I can only have five goals that I can focus on. I give myself double that amount as goals to maintain, to work towards them but without dedicating as much time to them. Then I have idle goals that I want to keep in my head and to work towards when I have the time and energy to, but otherwise don't make any real plans towards them.

After setting my goals (which are not time-bound, i.e. I don't have a specific deadline to achieve them), I set yearly milestones for the ones I want to focus on. These have an end-of-year deadline, and must be measurable so I can work towards them in a tangible way. Then I break the goal into 12 parts, so I have a measurable milestone to work towards each month. Each month, I look at my goal and divide it into weeks, so I know what I'd like to accomplish that week. I keep it pretty open-ended and flexible because life happens and is unpredictable.

I have other goals that I don't focus on as much. They're still important to me, but I want to prioritize the others. To avoid procrastinating and thinking about goals instead of working towards them, I've decided to keep it simple this year.

records ✍️

the next section is about writing things that made the year good — it’s a joy to look back on them every time i open the page and reminds me that there is a lot of joy in every day life, beyond just accomplishing stuff. every month i usually write down what i can think of under the following areas (keeping a diary helps for this):

i’m glad for: people, experiences, accomplishments, things, game changers — things that made your year really awesome

things i’ve been obsessed with — makes it fun to look at the things that took up a lot of your brain space

important things i learned & mistakes i made — for your realizations, understandings. over a year you’ll see how you’ve grown and changed.

that's pretty much it! hope it helps :)

[ros3ybabe]

90 Day Challenge - Intro

Hello! I've decided that I'm going to start a semi personalized 90-day challenge to help keep myself on track with my productivity! I will have certain goals I want to achieve, and the whole goal of this in general, like my desired outcome, is to build some more positive, healthy, productive habits! I'm going to set in place some rules for myself for this challenge!

🩷 Rules for 90 Day Challenge 🩷

Must post an update to my blog every day as a way to keep myself accountable

2 goals per category per day MINIMUM

4 goals per category per day MAXIMUM

Be honest with yourself and on this blog!

Be mindful and compassionate towards yourself in regards to time and energy

Here are the categories:

🏋‍♀️ Physical Health

🧠 Mental Health

❤️ Emotional Health

📚 Intellectual Health

🥳 Social Health

🥰 Self Love/Care

I will post every evening/night with what I accomplished for that day and what I plan to accomplish tomorrow.

*I will lump some things together. such as "complete 3 assignments" instead of listing every assignment. and there will be some overlap, as some days I might take a walk for physical health but other days do that for mental health, etc.

This is a pretty lofty challenge for me, and there will be some repeat goals (like studying japanese, doing homework, skincare, etc) but this will definitely give me som direction in my days so I'm excited!

I'll upload my first post of the challenge soon after this as I want to start today! I'll start with my goals for today and then upload tonight as mentioned earlier.

I'm excited to share this with you all!

til next time, lovelies 🩷

[makingspiritualityreal]

The South Node - An Area of Unfair Sacrifice

The Nodes are where we pay an unfair price for a necessary exchange. It is where we offer an area of a given house in order to have any life progress and growth at all in the area of the opposite.

It takes a human incarnation years to redefine and correct the areas of the South Node, as early in life it is karmically out of our control. So we need to give up on this area in its traditional form, knowing it will never function in a way that is beneficial to us. That becomes particularly painful when there is a planet conjunct the South Node. These areas of life produce a feeling of lack, but it is a sacrifice necessary in order for one to be able to grow in the area of the North Node.

As much as the Nodes are both unstable in their own right, the North Node being friendly to Saturn, offers a stable, reliable progress over time, with effort, maturity and reflection put into it, mixed with its cutting edge, out of the box, freedom oriented mindset. The North Node inspires us to actually set a goal.

The South Node causes so much pain, because the South Node and Saturn are enemies. Saturn is strict, but fair. Saturn is an Earthly life regulator of being given the right opportunities. Saturn offers measurable steps, solutions and rewards, even if it comes with timidness and obstacles. The South Node is the sum total of our karma, that reaches down to past lives, and thus it is responsible for wreaking havoc on our lives in ways that are beyond logical, rational fixing. It requires a completely meditative, surrendered attitude. In extreme cases, it requires one to completely move away from the given planet/house area, or only do the absolute minimum if necessary for survival.

The South Node requires of us to achieve a level of Monkhood, even if on a small scale. Early in life, as we are unexperienced in dealing with that energy, we end up being taken advantage of, and we give ourselves away. A mature South Node instead isolates from all unwanted stimuli, not really taken excessively for oneself, but also setting healthy boundaries through distance. We can actually have gains from the South Node our whole lives, if we don't try to control them or approach them too much.

Only as we mature into our 40s, the Karma of the South Node lets up, giving us exactly what we needed, even if in minimal form, perfectly tailored to our needs. To give you a more tangible example of how the Karma of the South Node works, somebody with their South Node in the 7th house may have an impossible time finding a good life partner on a personal ground. They may have successful, working business relationships from a degree of distance. They may have long-distance online romances. Since their life karma wants them to focus on individuality, self discovery, self expression and independence, the North Node in the 1st house may inflate their ego. That is actually a positive phenomenon with this alignment. The native may find, that the more full of themselves they are, the more they invest in their own brand, the more they attract successful working partnerships. Nevertheless, true intimacy mixed with acceptance of the person's basic identity, remains out of reach.

As a result, this native gives up on their deep desire for a successful, intimate partnership. They adopt a mentality of "This is who I am, and I am going to be myself and express myself to the fullest, and I am not compromising anything for that. Anyone who approaches me, if they want to be close, must accept that, as I fully delve into discovering my individual self every day". Ironically, it is that attitude of complete self acceptance, that solidifies the person's character and teaches them not to compromise. Then, when the South Node karma lets up at its own designated time, sometime after 42, just as the native has completely surrendered to such a lifestyle and given up on one's desire even if deep down they hold it in their heart, they unexpectedly meet their perfect match. They receive exactly what they have been missing all along, after they have completely reinvented themselves.

The concept of unfairness related to the South Node comes from the fact, that prior to that time, the desire of the South Node house and any planet conjunct it, remains emotionally dissatisfying. Any time the native tries to pursue the matters of that house outright, especially on a more sensitive level, they will be denied. There will be no fairness, even with a delay as Saturn would want, no equal payback, no "rightness", only strife, that ensures the native is pushed back towards their North Node.

The difference in South Node functionality and planetary alignment in between charts is in the fact, that as much as it denies emotional satisfaction, a strong South Node is actually a stable support system. Using the example above, the person with South Node in the 7th house, if well functioning, will actually attract an array of partnerships to help them construct their own brand. They will always have somebody available. They may even be the kind, who marry exclusively for status and name, and agree to a level of distance in the marriage in order to advance themselves on a personal level. The other significator of South Node karma is how fast it lets up. The Nodal release starts according to Vedic classics at the age of 42, but a stronger holding, more karmic South Node will delay that progress into the native's 50s and beyond.

The best functioning South Node is one, that fully, naturally, embraces detachment early on in life and doesn't look back. Often, a strong North Node helps, as it gives one a measurable goal to strive for. A struggling South Node is extremely stuck in the past, which manifests as passing up opportunities when they appear, out of a desire to remain within one's comfort zone, being avoidant of the North Node.

Another, more unorthodox form of the South Node, is the aforementioned concept of monkhood. These are people, who embrace servile roles, completely ridding themselves of any earthly desire, choosing an ascetic life with no reward. That may be a necessity one is forced into due to extremely heavy past life karmas.

[thevagueambition]

A concept I'm obsessed with, and which makes a substantial appearance in Enjolras' barriacde scenes, is the concept of moral martyrdom

The ends don't justify the means, but that does not mean that awful means are never not to achieve just goals. The powerful do not give up their power on a whim. All that the people has, the people has fought for.

If natural law can judge all existing law only in criticizing its ends, then positive law can judge all evolving law only in criticizing its means. If justice is the criterion of ends, legality is that of means. Notwith­standing this antithesis, however, both schools meet in their common basic dogma: just ends can be attained by justified means, justified means used for just ends. Natural law attempts, by the justness of the ends, to "justify" the means, positive law to "guarantee" the justness of the ends through the justification of the means. This antinomy would prove insoluble if the common dogmatic assumption were false, if justified means on the one hand and just ends on the other were in irreconcilable conflict. Critique of Violence, Walter Benjamin

When Enjolras liquidates Cabuc for killing a civillian, Enjolras does the necessary and in so doing condemns himself.

"Citizens," said Enjolras, "what that man did is frightful, what I have done is horrible. He killed, therefore I killed him. I had to do it, because insurrection must have its discipline. Assassination is even more of a crime here than elsewhere; we are under the eyes of the Revolution, we are the priests of the Republic, we are the victims of duty, and must not be possible to slander our combat. I have, therefore, tried that man, and condemned him to death. As for myself, constrained as I am to do what I have done, and yet abhorring it, I have judged myself also, and you shall soon see to what I have condemned myself." [...] "In executing this man, I have obeyed necessity; but necessity is a monster of the old world, necessity's name is Fatality. Les Mis 4.12.8

If the uprising had become a revolution and if said revolution had succeeded in making the world Enjolras was imagining, Enjolras would not think he had a place in that world. Achieving the just would not wipe his hands clean of what he has done with them to build it. What he has done is horrible and doing horrible things is the purvey of necessity -- not of the righteous future he glimpses from the barricade's horizon.

"What a pity!" said Combeferre. "What hideous things these butcheries are! Come, when there are no more kings, there will be no more war. Enjolras, you are taking aim at that sergeant, you are not looking at him. Fancy, he is a charming young man; he is intrepid; it is evident that he is thoughtful; those young artillery-men are very well educated; he has a father, a mother, a family; he is probably in love; he is not more than five and twenty at the most; he might be your brother." "He is," said Enjolras. "Yes," replied Combeferre, "he is mine too. Well, let us not kill him." "Let me alone. It must be done." And a tear trickled slowly down Enjolras' marble cheek. At the same moment, he pressed the trigger of his rifle. Les Mis 5.1.8

The sergeant is Enjolras' brother, his comrade, his neighbour -- he is another human being whom Enjolras would prefer to treat with the care and dignity all human beings ought to be afforded. He is not the opressor class, but simply a tool of them -- a young man similar to Enjolras in all but ideology.

There is literal martyrdom, where one dies for the cause, and there is moral martyrdom, where one sacrifices one's clean hands, one's peace of mind, for the cause. Enjolras does both.

"I've given up all chance at inner peace. I've made my mind a sunless space. I share my dreams with ghosts. I wake up every day to an equation I wrote 15 years ago from which there's only one conclusion, I'm damned for what I do. My anger, my ego, my unwillingness to yield, my eagerness to fight, they've set me on a path from which there is no escape. I yearned to be a savior against injustice without contemplating the cost and by the time I looked down there was no longer any ground beneath my feet. What is my sacrifice? I'm condemned to use the tools of my enemy to defeat them. I burn my decency for someone else's future. I burn my life to make a sunrise that I know I'll never see. And the ego that started this fight will never have a mirror or an audience or the light of gratitude. So what do I sacrifice? Everything!" One Way Out, Andor

[multiplicity-positivity]

Source Separation for Introjects

Hello - it’s time for me to make a post here based on my own experience. We get asked occasionally how to go about source separation for those who are interested, and in our system, I (Cecil) am the only one who has achieved this to the degree of which I feel confident enough to write this post. So here we go.

I’ll format this in the way we’ve been formatting our other informational posts, because I’m fond of the question-and-answer format.

DISCLAIMER: The information shared here is from our own system’s experience. And particularly my (Cecil’s) experience. No two systems are alike, and further, no two introjects are alike either. What worked for me may not work for you. I am not trying to portray any information as absolute truths - only my experience with source separation as I understand it.

What is a source?

In plural contexts, a source refers to the person, character, concept, or item that an introject is based off of. Introjects are headmates who arrive in their system with an identity already based off of something outside of the system. An introject’s source is whatever they are based off of.

For example, my headmate Ralsei is a fictive based off of the character Ralsei from Deltarune. Therefore, the Ralsei character in the video game is my headmate’s source. My own source is Kim Kitsuragi from Disco Elysium.

What is source separation?

Source separation occurs when an introject aims to distance themselves from their source and form their own identity outside of their source in the process. Source separation can be small, like enjoying an activity or media that your source was never interested in. It can also be greater, like changing your name, appearance, and other identifying features.

Even recognizing that you are not your source - that your source exists outside of yourself and that you are your own person - can be considered source separation. In this way, source separation, even to the smallest degree, can be healthy and beneficial for many introjects.

Why should I separate from my source?

There are a plethora of reasons why an introject may choose to separate from their source. Whether being compared to their source brings them pain or anxiety, they have difficult exomemories to bear, they want to focus on improving themselves or simply wish to have more agency over their lives, there is no clear set of reasons why an introject should separate from their source. The purpose of this post is not to convince introjects that they must separate from their source - rather, my goal is to explain a bit about what source separation means to me.

How do I source separate?

Introjects may distance themselves from their source in a plethora of different ways. No two introjects are alike, so one introject’s method for source separation may not work for another. That being said, here are some ways that I have separated from my source (written with general “you”s).

1. Recognize that you are not your source.

You are not your source physically, mentally, emotionally, or in any other capacity. You exist outside of your source. If your source suddenly vanished or ceased to exist, you would still be here. You are capable of thinking for yourself and making decisions that your source wouldn’t necessarily make. For me, this first step was crucial. For some, this level of source separation is enough for them to live happy lives. In our system, Ralsei is comfortable still identifying as and with Ralsei from Deltarune, while recognizing that they are not literally their source. For me, though, this just hasn’t been enough.

2. Make small changes… consciously.

After I first learned I was a fictive, I found myself drawn towards things that my source was known to enjoy. Once I decided to try and separate from my source, I started branching out with my interests and tried exploring new things without holding myself to the standards set by the character I was based off of.

You might choose to try baking, coding, rock climbing, building puzzles, or anything else that speaks out to you. Don’t let discomfort deter you from trying something new - it’s normal for things outside our comfort zones to be uncomfortable. Experiment with your likes and dislikes, favorite things and activities, and all sorts of things - don’t let your source or your feelings about your source dictate what you’re capable of enjoying. Finding things to be passionate about can not only help you separate from your source, but enrich your life in the process.

3. Make larger changes, and lean into them.

After you’ve managed to find a few ways to distinguish yourself from your source, if you’d like, you can make bigger changes. This may include changing your name, experimenting with your gender and sexuality, altering your appearance, or finding other, lasting ways to make yourself different from your source.

I did this by changing my name and experimenting with my gender. I also am toying with the concept of otherkin, and am questioning if I even experience the world in a human way. While I still use my source’s pronoun set, I also am comfortable with neopronouns, with a keen interest in xe/xem/xers. This is different from my source, who used exclusively he/him pronouns. By steadily making changes about how you behave, view yourself, and interact with the world around you, you can further distinguish yourself from your source and develop into your own individual personhood.

4. Understand personhood is complex and identities are fluid.

You may wake up one day feeling more like your source than other days. This isn’t a sign that you haven’t been successful so far at separating from your source. Progress is not linear, and this goes for those attempting source separation as much as anything else. Be patient with yourself - recognize that making these changes will take some time getting used to. It may take weeks, months, or even years for you to reach a degree of separation from your source that brings you comfort and joy. Please don’t give up if it’s looking hopeless. A little patience and self-compassion can go a long way in this regard.

And there you have it. Of course, in my experience, being able to speak openly about my source separation with my system’s therapist has helped this process go much more smoothly. If you have a therapist in your life, or someone you trust who you can talk to, speaking with them about your process and how your separation is going may be incredibly beneficial. Journalling and keeping track of your progress in other ways can help give you hope when you worry you haven’t been capable of making much change. In the end, it is up to you as an individual to decide how to separate from your source and how much separation you hope to achieve.

Do I have to separate from my source if I don’t want to?

No. While at least some amount of separation is certainly healthy (see: step 1 of “How do I source separate?”), no one should ever be required to separate from their source if they’re not ready or if they don’t want to. This post is not a plea to convince introjects to separate from their sources. Rather, it is a rough guide for those who are already interested in or curious about this process.

Questions or comments may be directed to me, Cecil. Full disclosure, I am in the process of attempting to fuse with another member of my system. Therefore, that member (Margo) has been present with me as I wrote this post. Fusion doesn’t destroy alters, though, so if you have any questions we can still collectively provide a response, even after our fusion. We’re going to be undergoing a name change soon - so if you hear back from Corrie - that’s still me. That is the name Margo and I have chosen for our collective, shared identity.

I hope this post will be beneficial for those who are interested in source separation. Remember to take things slow, don’t hold yourself to unrealistic expectations, and show yourself kindness and compassion along the way. If you want it, source separation is certainly possible! And we wish you all the best as you attempt to distinguish yourself from your source.

(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)

[72ww]

HEYY cha cha slides into your ask box what are ur thoughts on sashamilla first meeting and what do u think it was like?? are u a li po doc truther or do u think it was something else!!

Thanks for sending me this great question!

I don't know about you, but I have a hard time committing to one idea when it comes to branching off from what is strictly canon. Even then, I am big on character exploration in all forms. Pre-canon, canon, whatever. It is the biggest draw to the game, for me, these characters are lovingly written and set such a fantastic groundwork which a person can really run with if they want to. So, personally, I do not exactly stick with one story… sorry if it's confusing, but I don't commit myself to imagining it happened just one way. There are many ways to take two characters and consider how many ways they could interact. Why limit ourselves? It is a great exercise in understanding others. Below the cut is a lot of writing on trauma, pain, and grief, just a warning.

Sasha wasn’t intended to be her therapist at first. He was called in by his supervisor to see if Milla could be rehabilitated at all. She had promise as a powerful Psychonaut, but her mind was wracked with grief. She had been hospitalized due to her struggles with mental illness more than once, compounding her inability to recover. Milla possessed a strong desire to help others but was unable to help herself through her own insurmountable grief. Sasha, being relatively low in the ranks of his division himself, saw it as just another routine recruiting assignment. He approached it with scientific curiosity and not much else.

Milla's mental landscape before Sasha becomes her therapist: it's constructed from the trauma she went through. It's all she can think about, it is her entire identity. It is all-consuming because she can't cope with it. Every day the walls are closing in more and more, driving her further inward into a mental prison. She can't ask for help, she doesn't feel as though she deserves it, she is afraid of it. She may punish herself due to a self-prescribed guilt. Likely socially withdrawn from all relationships, apathetic, joyless. Any joy may remind her of her emotional pain. The two could be inseparable for her, in fact. In acute grief it is not uncommon for one to paradoxically associate happiness with trauma.

Visually, everything that used to bring her joy is present, though corrupted by emotional pain. Quilts, piano keys, crocheted afghans, a record player, melting vinyl, bedtime storybooks, children's paintings. All of it deformed hideously; burning, or burnt. Her grief has twisted her perception of the past. She cannot enjoy her memories as they once were. They have been overwritten by Milla's tremendous suffering.

As any good therapist, Sasha’s mission is to give Milla the tools to reframe the event that is plaguing her mind. Since she is unable to express any control over destructive thinking patterns such as intrusive thoughts, it is pretty easy to see why Sasha would be the one called in to help her. Maybe at this point in his training/career, he has successfully completed this process in himself and recreated such success in other struggling individuals. When he arrives, Milla is despondent. Sasha feels a strong connection with her immediately through a common thread of distress: acute, unresolved grief.

Well, I am going to go on a little tangent here, but I promise it is somehow relevant. Sasha is a very interesting character because he exists in a delicate and realistic balance of qualities. He is intensely curious. He has a strong sense of morality, but might not always choose to follow it. The two go hand in hand. Sasha must determine constantly whether or not a certain action is worth its moral implications. That is a subjective art, to him. Someone who values scientific progress for the betterment of society might not pay so much attention to the sacrifices he feels he must make to achieve his goals. That is to say, to some extent he believes in justification. A lack of direct (or adequately responsible) oversight can further develop such a mindset. As well, a person can justify much to himself if his actions are endorsed and/or were prior committed by a role model. All this to say I believe Sasha has gone through a lot of learning in his life to get to where we see him in the games. He still struggles with this quandary, obviously, but he is certainly not a cold, heartless scientist. His love for others is likely just as intense as Milla’s, though maybe in a bit more of an abstract way. He understands his role and responsibilities as a Psychonaut. He likes to think he understands when he can or shouldn’t overstep those boundaries. Most of the time, anymore, Sasha is relatively disciplined in his practice through sheer experience. No, I don’t think this was always the case.

Personally, I think he would at first approach the case of Milla with his usual ravenous curiosity. He struggles to stay in the present with her. He gets ahead of himself. He wants her to succeed almost too much, too quickly, not solely for her benefit. I can see Milla daring to put him in his place over this, too. His demeanor doesn’t put her on edge. She may even think to herself that his aloof appearance is comical (perhaps endearing…?). She can tell this man tries to distance himself from the world. It seems to her that he has a need to emotionally separate himself from everyone around him not from a sense of superiority; rather, it is as if he is trying to escape distress. Thus, Milla understands nearly all the time he is successful in enforcing strict interpersonal distances. I genuinely think Milla is the first one to ever get around his defenses, if only to drive him up the wall, because she thinks he is hilarious, and because she gets sick of seeing him so closed off. It’s the only thing she enjoys doing for a time. Rather than feeling humiliated by this, Sasha is humbled, if not outright impressed with Milla. It helps to push their relationship in a positive direction.

It’s a turning point for both of them. Sasha was used to talent alone being his main advantage on missions to help others. He hadn’t fulled grasped what it meant to be a therapist, that it is a give-and-take relationship for both parties. Through Milla’s help he recognizes this was a major cause of his past failures. On the other hand, Milla isn’t miraculously cured. Sasha helps her disable the trauma response and pave the road to her recovery. It’s still there, it just isn’t dominating her mental landscape anymore. Sasha marks her down for having serious potential both in recovery and as an agent.

I have read some great & engaging writing where they start out as colleagues assigned to the same mission. Those were really enjoyable, too, and I think those still adequately explore this interesting antagonistic dynamic they may have had upon first introduction. A lot of people look at these two through their surface level personality traits and are shocked to see them get along so well. I don’t think they are opposites at all, though! Sasha & Milla are totally on the same wavelength. I tend to imagine that neither of them realize their similarities at first, too. Then someday something just clicks and their brains practically fuse together for life. There is.. definitely something to be said about dating your therapist, though, LOL. I can’t say I endorse that. I think it wouldn’t be a problem because they later become partnered agents. The Psychonauts probably have a policy against colleagues fraternizing, but whatever. As if anyone would (could) separate Sasha & Milla.

Ohh and a postscript note. In this little space of thinking I like to imagine that Sasha gives up smoking through Milla’s treatment. She can’t stand the smell of it at first. He has to go back to his hotel and take three showers and rent clothes before he can even do intake with her. It takes ages for Milla to associate the stench of cigarettes with Sasha alone. Eventually, I’m sure Milla does exposure therapy of some sort so she doesn’t feel as distressed around fires/smoke she can’t avoid. This totally is without ulterior motives on Sasha’s part, phobia control is an important part of Psychonaut agent training... He does not miss smoking at all...

Here's a sketch for the concept I didn't do much with because drawing Milla in distress wasn't fun at all.

[gatheringbones]

i have a question that I've been trying to puzzle out the answer for -- I've noticed that some speculative fiction takes a queer is normal approach because "in the future or since there's aliens! and werewolves! who has the time to question gender?" kind of mindset. as much as I treasure the thought of a future where different phobias aren't a thing, and I don't want to be someone who take too much pride and ego in the suffering (perhaps not the right word) I've been through and survived, it also makes me feel strange in that kind of mindset that, of course there's lesbians and trans people in space! without any homophobia whatsoever. my question is, do you think queernorm is possible in a good way in speculative fiction in a setting where it's so far in the future where idk. teleportation or cloning or body modification or cyborgs exist? regency/historical/fantasy novels tend to be set "in the past" and erasing the colonialism, the racism/xenophobia, not questioning why it's ok to murder orcs/an acceptable group of people, and then suddenly having Gays Are Perfectly Fine and Acceptable is definitely weird, considering all these other biases. But what of scifi? Sorry I'm not as concise and cohesive as I wish I was. I'm in a spot where I do read these and I do think it's fun, but it bothers me as someone whose race/transgender/homosexuality/background as an immigrant has informed so much of me that reading these things has been a war of "I should be happy for others that they imagine this future for themselves and it's all just fun imagination anyways!" vs. "this is not the future I'm sure that I want but I'm worried that I'm too attached to my identity and that's why I'm not considering this other possibility of what science fiction or speculative fiction could imagine for me"

that’s it exactly isn’t it— what’s “normal” when we’re in a speculative world where we’ve supposedly transcended all forms of normal? what’s normal in a future we haven’t seen yet?

answering that would mean looking at the quality of the relationships and the dynamics between the people inside of them and seeing how they connect to present day conceptions of normative behavior. You would have to look at how this comforting speculative world arranges power and the relationships between people with various forms of power.

in assimilationist fiction, queer people assume very specific positions in the story. Their existence summons and soothes specific anxieties crucial to the assimilationist mind— will my straight parents accept me? will my straight friends and acquaintances accept me? am I normal? is the way I love valid? Do I have to change anything about myself just because I’m (cringe) queer? can I go on about my life as a normal person who just happens to be (cringe) queer? will I be able to achieve the standard and normal markers of success for a white, upper-to-middle class, able-bodied person even though I’m (cringe) queer?

the assimilationist story will take these anxieties in hand and address them with the goal of seamlessly incorporating queerness into a heteronormative story structure with functionally no difference between queer and straight (which has the effect of making everyone seem incredibly straight).

I hear you on the taking too much pride and ego in suffering, but I want to poke at that as well— is queer difference really rooted in suffering? are our identities nothing more than wound sites? what IS queer difference and how and why must it be assimilated into heteronormativity and its stranglehold on culture? how does heteronormativity manifest in queer works and what needs does it fill for the queer creator manifesting it? what is it about heteronormativity that feels so so reassuring and interesting and good for queer writers?

it all depends on what the werewolves and aliens in your sci fi are doing, in other words— and who they’re doing it to and why. It depends on what anxieties are present in the text and how the text itself chooses to address them. It depends on the author’s relationship to queer culture and how they relate to cultural norms to begin with, because there won’t be anything like our set of norms in a speculative futuristic world, so the whole question revolves around what is purported to be normal and how the people in that world are meant to relate to that paradigm.

it’s tricky! I don’t have answers, just a whole heap of books written by queer authors who just want to fit in and make money you couldn’t pay me to read.

[wishful-seeker]

The complete guide to black mirror scrying: how to interpret visions, how to make a mirror, and beginner advice.

The biggest issue I had when I first started scrying is that there are no set correspondences for the visions you see. Unlike other divination methods: like tarot with card meanings, or pendulums with yes/no/maybe, this method of divination is deeply personal and tailored to the person scrying. Scrying is similar to charm divination where to assign meanings to your charms, the difference is you have no idea what you will see and must come up with your own interpretation each time. I have some tips for accurately deciphering these visions.

Main things you need to know:

1. The feeling you feel when you see the images is IMPORTANT in deciphering what they mean, and your personal interpretation trumps everything else.

For example If you see an eye, and you have a good feeling about it, take note of that.

Next, try searching the symbols common meaning on Google. If the common meaning doesn't feel correct, dig deeper, ask what it meant to you.

The symbolism of an eye according to the internet says "Dreaming of eyes can be considered a very symbolic image connecting us to our soul. Similar to many ancient cultures the eye is understood to be a symbol of good, evil, protection, vision, knowledge, wisdom and mystery."

2. If you can't find the meaning of a symbol try searching it as a dream interpretation. Ex: "what does dreaming of an eye mean." Dream interpretation websites have extremely specific symbols and meanings.

3. Symbols around the world have different meanings depending on location and culture, one symbol may have 2 completely different meanings.

For example, the eye can symbolize both good and evil, this is when personal feelings and associations are important. Did seeing the eye feel good, or bad?

4. You will occasionally see things that cannot be simplified to one symbol, for example, seeing a scene unfold, like a stereotypical idea of a vision. When this happens, break it down into multiple symbols, and combine the meanings.

For example, I saw myself in a forest, looking up at the night sky and stars through the trees.

My personal interpretation of a starry night sky, and a common dream interpretation of it is: A clear starry night sky symbolizes dreams and hopes coming true, happiness and good fortune, relaxation , and achieving goals.

The meaning of trees is: trees have been used to represent life, growth, wisdom, prosperity and more in legends, poetry, literature, and religion.

However, i have my own meanings associated with trees, so trees are also a symbol of peace, strength, stability, and resilience, according to me.

Now you ask yourself how to connect and relate these meanings together. This scene is telling you these symbols go hand and hand in your life.

Personally, I would interpret that as saying through nurturing myself, and growing, and persevering throughout my life, has and will lead me to my goals and peace. I'm on the right track.

I find scrying is the best divination for me because I've also noticed in my experience, even when I see something "negative" my brain shows me in a gentle way through the visions.

For example, once I saw a willow the wisp, I LOVE willow the wisps, I think they're beautiful, but they represent a warning that danger is near. But somehow my subconscious knows how to show me comforting images, despite the negative connotations. I really struggled with tarot cards because the "negative" cards would easily trigger me. It always felt like tarot cards were yelling at me instead of gently guiding me, and I find scrying to be gentle, at least for me.

It makes a big difference to already associate a scrying mirror with good peaceful vibes, just like how if I had a comforting feeling with cards, they'd probably trigger me less.

Everyone will have some divination methods that work really well, and some not so much. I hope this guide can help you learn if scrying is the divination method for you or not.

Some people can be pretty scared of scrying mirrors specifically, because new agers put a lot of fear mongering rules on to those mirrors. Some will say allowing others to look in the mirror is bad luck, or that you should always cover and cleanse it when you're done. I don't follow any of those rules except for veiling it when I'm done, and only because I have a pretty cloth. I've used it for over a year and I have NEVER had a bad or scary experience. I've showed it to friends, I leave it uncovered sometimes, I never cleanse it. I meditate before using it, and I do a very short sheilding visualization, and it's an extremely calming experience. I do it to calm my anxiety after a bad day.

So if it's as peaceful as I say, why is there so much fear behind scrying mirrors?

Well it's actually the same reason why people are terrified of ouija boards: kids act like it's a toy, they do things wrong, and their own fear invites a negative experience.

Here are some tips to avoid a scary session, and general first timer info.

1. DO NOT look at yourself in the mirror! This is only for experienced people. If you do this your face will morph and melt and it'll be scary to someone who has no experience! The mirror should be angled in a way that NOTHING is reflected in it, you want it to be a completely black void in the dark, with a candle far away so it's just light enough to see what you are doing. Angle the mirror towards your blank ceiling. This will allow the mirror to act like a TV screen where you just watch pretty shapes and pictures go by.

2. You have NOTHING to be afraid of, and if this scares you, don't do it! The more calm and at peace you are, the better the experience will be.

3. If you want to scry, but you're afraid of the mirror, you can scry on any blank surface. A black or white one is best. You can use a dark computer screen, you can even scry with your eyes closed! The darkness you see when you close your eyes is perfect for seeing visions, I have a friend who does this.

4. It'll take at least 15 minutes of staring WITH A VERY SOFT FOCUS to start seeing visions, if you want to try making this go faster, try meditation with your eyes closed before hand. When you start seeing things, time will move by fast, what feels like 10 minutes could be 40. Be careful not to lose track of time.

6. Remember that Scrying is best done in the dark with a candle just bright enough to illuminate the mirror, but not bright enough to make the mirror cast reflections. You want a black void unless you're doing the looking at your face method.

7. You may need to listen to trance music, meditate, or do some type of small ritual activity to get you in the zone so you can see things, everyones way of doing this is very different.

Lastly, I know some of you might be wondering, where do I get a scrying mirror?

Well you can easily make one yourself with a picture frame, black acrylic paint, or black spray paint!

First, get a pretty picture frame

Then take out the glass and backing

Paint one side of the glass with black paint, do multiple coats until when looking from the unpainted side, you can't see through it.

If you can still see through it after multiple coats, paint the inside of the frames backing black too, so that when it is up against the painted side, all you see is black.

Put the glass back into the frame UNPAINTED SIDE IN THE FRONT. This is the reflective side.

That's it!

This is one I made:

However, you can probably tell it's not a picture frame, it's a mirror frame. If you want to use a mirror frame you can, but you NEED A CLEAR GLASS PANE that fits it. You cannot paint on the mirror glass and make it reflective.

P.s. I keep a hagstone for protection and connecting to the spirit world, and celestite for spirit guide communication when I scry.

Good luck guys, I hope this helps.