#it’s gotten to the point where it’s like we have to dig up every single minor piece of shit to justify loving or hating something

[halfricanloveyou]

i think we should make ‘be normal to people who don’t like whatever piece of media or art you’re obsessed with’ into a normalized concept.

i think we should go even further and be normal to like…people who HATE what you’re obsessed with instead of vague blogging about them. even if they only hate it based on a surface level and don’t wanna give it a chance.

it’s always ‘let people like things as much as they want’ but for some reason ‘let people dislike things as much as they want’ is unforgivable.

[2-dsimp]

if it’s no trouble could we get another part to DILF/ nanny reader? Maybe like a willing reader? Bc I know of a hot dad wanted to date me who am I to say no? Lol great work!!!!

Cw: fem reader! jealousy, possessive/obsessive tendencies, Quio and Miki butting heads, the plot thickens

Synopsis no.2: 【featuring you being caught in the middle between your coworker and employer literally and figuratively. Miki obviously hates your employer and makes it well known meanwhile Quio does the same vice versa. The Dilf tried his best to put his and Peina’s plan of seducing you into action. But he’s constantly getting interrupted. And He’s honestly so close to snapping at this point.】

☆*:.｡..｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡..｡.:*☆ ☆*:.｡..｡.:

“I wish you’d stop by here more often after all you’re already part of the family."

The Dilf sighs melodramatically, electing a small giggle from your lips. Seeing how he acted so distraught due to your absence. While he led you and your coworker to the living room, gesturing for you to take a seat on the couch.

“Oh that’s kind of you to say Mr. Evinis but I can’t possibly impose on you guys. Plus I’ve still gotta work my boring office job”

You replied with a mirthful tone at his sweet comment truly feeling as if you’ve made a second home within your employers household. You’ve already grown accustomed to his friendly work staff and of course his darling daughter who was l always clinging onto you like a baby kitten. And the fact that her father was so chivalrous and kind didn’t help your own little crush from forming on the single dad.

“Oh perish the thought sugarling~ we’re lucky enough to even be blessed by your radiant grace. In this boring household.”

Quio reassures with a charming smile, as he makes sure to fluff up some fancy decor pillows for his lovely lady. After placing the plush pillows down where you’d sit, He then put a hand on your shoulder giving a comforting squeeze.

“In fact me and the little squirt have always gotten excited at seeing you pull up and we’d be more than happy to keep you hostage here if possible”

The Dilf admits in a cheesy manner, which made you feel at ease. From how sweet his insistence at you dropping by often to hang out was. Being none the wiser to how he was being 100% serious. About the part where him and his daughter briefly molled over the idea of keeping their lovely nanny hostage at their mansion. Since they honestly couldn’t get enough of how addicting your sunshine liken presence.

Lit up every dark lonesome corner of the estate and they’d be damned if they every let you get a chance to escape from their sights. brandishes a pearly grin at the thought of being able to cater personally to his future missus.

“Also if your boring office job is what’s holding you back from spending quality time with us then I can think of a couple solutions to—“

“Um, let me stop you right there man. Whatever you’re pitching would be nice and all but I need my work wife.”

Once again you missed the small micro transgression within the Dilf’s facial features as his eye twitched at the irksome interruption done by that worthless dickbag.

“Aha work wife? With someone like you? I see you’re the type to joke around huh?”

He replied in an tone of condescension giving Miki a mean spirited smile. And an idle glance over full of scorn at the self assured confidence in this boy, who was proclaiming that his darling was his work wife.

“Well I am quite the jokester—wait what the hell do you mean by someone like me??”

You nearly busted out laughing at how Miki got a miffed expression on his face from the subtle dig done by the famous actor. You didn’t necessarily claim to be Miki’s work wife as nice as his company was. He was an utter shitty coworker to have when you’re trying to get shit done. Whenever you two were paired it’d be him cracking jokes while you were working like an effective machine.

“Well If anything they’re my work wife, no my wife, since yknow she’s looking after my kid like the little darling angel she is”

Quio nearly purred with a sharp edge to his voice as he blatantly rubbed it in Miki’s face the sheer difference. Between the two of them and how he was ultimately more important in your standings.

“Anit that right sweetness?”

The single dad hummed with a sickening sweet expression that resembled a hopeful doe eyed buck. His shouldering eyes never failed to make your heart do kick flips from how they always seemed to focus on purely you. Almost as if you were his world, his missing half. You got extremely flustered that you could barely even respond to his words. Until Miki let out a sneer and fixed his apparent love rival a shrewd scowl.

“Oh please as if! She’s your Nanny, not your substitute wife. Plus I already called dibs on her first, my guy.”

The sight of that damned flea mansplaining on the couch with the slinging over his arm right behind your head. Made Quio imagine ripping that same offending arm from our his socket and bitch slapping him with it.

“Dibs? Are you insinuating that she’s an object to be possessed by the likes of a peasant like you?”

He taunts snarkily, dropping his nice guy facade as makes his way to sit right in between you and Miki. Squeezing his bulky frame in the middle of the couch he gracefully crosses his legs as he swats off the offending arm behind your head and replaces it with his own.

“Tch! Now you know that’s not what I meant. It’s always you actors spinning fabricated lies. And the fuck did you just—“

“Miki don’t you think that it’s time for you to go soon? You’re gonna be late for work”

You interjected seeing how things were getting out of hand between the two offending men. Quio merely gave a smug smile as he saw Miki begrudgingly get up with an scowl on his face. You were right he had to go soon since he couldn’t be late for his promotion into higher management. He didn’t tell you that yet because he wanted to surprise you on the day you both worked the same shift.

“Ah fuck your right, thanks for the reminder what would I do without my precious work wife?”

Miki emphasized loudly, Shooting a glare towards the A-listed actor as he then gave you an abrupt hug goodbye whilst still glowering at the Dilf. The two seemed to be exchanging a clash of mixed silent threats behind your back.

Quio “gently” nudged Miki away from his darling with a hard shove with the pointy tip of his shoe upon his midriff. Making your coworker stumble back with a sharp exhaled grunt escaping his lips. Good, he hoped that fucker gets sore down there. The single dad was always about getting his get back by being petty whenever someone blatantly tried to piss him off.

“Alright that’s enough Casanova wouldn’t wanna keep your bosses waiting yeah?”

The Dilf chirped in a sweet noncommittal manner as he briefly pulled you into a side hug. As if to cleanse you from the poor touch Miki had given you. Miki had to bite back his tongue since he really couldn’t afford to waste time with the man’s shenanigans. And rolled his eyes he could only afford to shoot you a word of warning with concern shining in his eyes before he made his way outside of the million dollar manor.

“Be careful… You know how actors are, always so full of shit. Call me when you’re done I’ll come to pick you up okay?”

“Yeah yeah, don’t let the door hit cha on ya on the way out Miki”

Quio sassed as he couldn’t wait to have that cocky fucker out of sight and out of mind. There were so many times where the actor came close to acting out. One of his many aspiring roles which consisted of him being a deranged serial killer. It would’ve gave him peace of mind to choke out that lanky shithead and watch the life leave his eyes.

But he had better things to do at the moment rather than drone in about how he’d murder Miki in cold blood. Like wooing you over for instance which was unfortunately put on pause due to a pest intent on getting in the way between you and him. So he feels a sense of relief wash over him as Miki leaves, knowing that he can finally have you all to himself.

“It seems like you two get along well enough already”

You caught the Dilf off guard with your off handed comment as he gave you a raised brow and an apprehensive smile. He shook his head slightly and gave a dark chuckle at how naive you were to perceive their little spat to be that of a friendly origin. When they clearly wanted to go at each others necks.

“It would seem so… But hey I was wondering if you’d be interested in—“

His phone decided to go off in the most headache inducing way. He could hear the annoying ringtone which indicated that his manager was calling and he bit back a snarl from being interrupted once again. Collecting himself he excused himself from the couch not being fore taking your hand in his and giving it a small chaste kiss as he gave you an apologetic gaze.

“Sorry about this sugarling I’ve gotta take this call I’ll be right back”

With his servants taking leave at his behest today was the day he planned on tying the metaphorical knot with the cute Nanny that stole both his and his little girl’s heart. So his manager had better got a pretty damn good reason for bugging him on his day of vacation leave. Or else they’ll get added to the hitlist alongside that damned coworker of yours.

。

。

。

I’m thinking of making this into a mini series, let me know if I should continue!o(≧v≦)o

[90sbee]

Sometimes a saviour is a soldier afraid of peace

Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader

4.4k words. Also on ao3.

He looks at her in quiet admiration.

He doesn’t deserve her. But again, he doesn’t really deserve anything. He already has gotten too much: spoiled by the sweet possibility of life when all his comrades have fallen, their bodies twisted, mangled by titans and enemies alike.

Levi hardly cries, but he wants to cry in that moment. She turns on the stove for him, and rummages through his cabinets. She finds two cups and a sob is trapped inside his throat.

He doesn’t fucking understand why she stays, why she puts up with his sorry ass but, damn it. Damn it if he at least doesn’t try.

The war is over, but the demons still haunt Levi. Luckily for him, the last member of his Squad seems focused on remaining by his side as they both face this new enemy: peace.

This was !!! My first fic written in English, actually. Also my first (and only time so far) writing for aot. Levi is such an angsty angel, and this story wouldn’t leave my head, so I had to end up writing it, ofc. This has been in the drafts for... months. Too many months already. And tbh I'm not a fan of how it came out. But. Posting it in case someone else can enjoy Levi finally getting some love and comfort, sjsjs.

Content: Use of 3rd person pronouns. No use of y/n. Mostly Levi's pov. Reader was part of his Squad. Post!Rumbling Levi. Written with the manga ending in mind. A lot of fluff, rude Levi even if he doesn't mean it (but reader knows he means no harm). Healing. Spooning (Levi as the little spoon btw. He deserves it).

Warnings: depressive thoughts, self confidence issues. Mentions of past violence (but nothing gruesome, it's all in passing). SFW. No beta reader we die like everybody in Aot here.

They always meet. Every single day, she leaves her little flat to find him near the fountain in the Marleyan park, eager to push his wheelchair and pass some time with him.

Levi doesn’t understand. When Onyankopon, or Falco, or Gabi let her take the wheelchair, he just ponders. He could understand why they would accompany him: because he is old? because they feel pity of him?… But her?

Nonetheless, every single afternoon, she comes to him. He doesn’t recall when this custom began. It’s like slowly, but surely, she started digging a place into his routine. She was part of his remaining squad, and he really didn’t see any point to her bubbling-self still being by his side.

Still, he appreciates her visits. She exchanges pleasantries with Gabi, already smiling. Why is she smiling?

“Hi, Captain,” she says. Should he feel mocked? He isn’t a captain anymore and the title feels too much, even if it’s comforting in some way. Levi doesn’t reply. He just nods, silently acknowledging her presence. “Is it okay if we go to the stalls for a while, Captain?” She inquires, as if it was the first time they did it, and not a weekly occurrence. His jaw tenses. He doesn’t understand, still. She surely pities him. She has to.

He agrees to her proposal, though.

“Sure,” he replies, barely any emotion on his face.

She smiles at him. For a moment, they look at each other. She sees that familiar scarred face, a grey eye gazing into her soul. He sees the older face of her remaining squad member, some wrinkles next to her eyes, her figure dressed in green. For some reason, he liked that colour on her.

He doesn’t share that with her, though.

“Let’s get going,” she adds, a little chuckle in her voice — he can hear it — as she starts pushing the wheelchair. They check out the little shops that are already so familiar. Sometimes she signals a piece of jewellery or clothes. She asks for his opinion, or points at a silly artwork, in hopes of making him laugh.

When the cold starts to set in, she stops them in front of a coffee shop.

“Wait here a second, Captain,” she tells him.

“Where would I go, anyway?” He wants to say, snarky, but he doesn’t really bother in opening his mouth. He stays silent still, perking his head up to see what’s she’s doing.

“Oi. coffee?” He complains.

She directs her gaze to him and chuckles, paying the vendor.

“I know you like tea but it’s time to broaden your horizons,” she explains. She comes up to him again, and hands him one of the cups. He sighs, but accepts the drink still.

“What is it this time?”

“Just chocolate. Hot chocolate,” she answers, already sipping hers.  She lets out a content sigh when the warmth of it starts to fill her belly.

“I don’t like chocolate,” Levi mutters under his breath. He is lying and she knows it.

“Tsk. That’s not true. Everybody likes chocolate.”

“… Fine,” he sips his drink and, admittedly, enjoys it. She hands him her drink so she can push the wheelchair again, and he takes it, guarding both cups on his lap, a familiar action for the two of them now.

“Where do we go?” She asks.

Levi shrugs. “As if I had a choice.”

She looks at him still, and when he can see her, barely from his peripheral vision, he sees a softer face. She’s waiting for his reply. He looks at her, looks at her lips. She isn’t smiling anymore. Levi sighs, suddenly feeling guilty.

He doesn’t understand still why she does this for him.

“Captain?” She says, just above a whisper, since there are people around them and they both just want to have a calm evening, without the risk of being recognised.

Levi nods before he even opens his mouth.

“The bridge.”

“Good,” she agrees as he sips from his drink again, guided by her. He does feel warmer. Levi inspects the people around him in silence, letting himself be carried, taken to a nicer place. “Hange would have like this,” he thinks. He looks down to suddenly realise he is clenching his fist, hard. “If you could even call it a hand…”

“We’re here, Captain,” she announces, letting his wheelchair rest next to a bench, overlooking the water. She takes a seat next to him, and Levi hands her the drink. He wonders if she noticed how tense he’s been feeling today.

“Be quick with that, brat, or it will get cold,” he warns, as if to pre-emptively shut down any words from her. He’s not sure he could handle it.

She just nods.

“It’s still warm,” she mentions after a moment.

The sunset is taking its place on the sky, a beautiful palette of oranges and pinks against a very flat horizon. A reminder of what was once lost.

“Good,” he says.

Levi looks at her. She is still looking forward, features illuminated by the falling sun, breeze caressing her face. There is something in his heart that aches, but he doesn’t want to think about that. He doesn’t dare to. Levi is old, too old, and too broken. And she only pities him.

He coughs to catch her attention, though.

“Hmh, yeah?” She immediately says.

“I heard the Scouts were going back to Paradis tomorrow,” he begins, the question lingering in the air. The small group was leaving first time in the morning.

“Yep.”

Levi blinks, expecting her to say more, but she doesn’t. He doesn’t want to ask. It feels… too much. He feels too exposed doing that, lower lip trembling.

“Are you going?” He finally dares to ask.

She turns back to him again, and looks at him with the sweetest gaze. Levi doesn’t miss how she looks at his lips first.

“I’m not.”

“Why?”

“I don’t have anything there,” she replies, matter-of-factly. Levi wants to hit his head against something, still uncertain about what that means. Does that mean that she has something here? Someone?

She must notice his doubts, so she lowers her gaze. “I mean. You know I lost my family during my first years as a Scout. And knowing that we tried to stop Eren… All the military forces in the island won’t be very happy to see me. Or any of us. I’ve done my part. I do not want more fighting.”

“… Right”. That still doesn’t answer his question, but it is enough to satisfy his curiosity without seeming to eager. He sips his drink again: it’s getting colder.

“You didn’t want to go, Captain?” There it was again, that fucking title that felt like a joke. He chuckles, not looking at her anymore but rather at the sunset.

“Why do you still call me like that?” He spits back.

“Captain?”

“Yeah,” His tone is unintentionally rude, but he can’t help it, not even around her.

“Well… It’s a sign of respect, don’t you think?”

Levi chuckles, amused.

“I never took you for a polite person.” He doesn’t want to look at her still. She hasn’t added anything, said anything else. What is she thinking of?

She looks at him. There’s a warmth in her belly which has nothing to do with the chocolate anymore. She knows: Her Captain has been way more vulnerable and open since the Rumbling. The little gestures that he could so easily hide before are now an open book. Or at least she feels that way, since she was always one to look at him.

It was so easy to just… stare at him. Admire him in every sense of the word, even now. When they were both soldiers they would fight alongside each other, against innumerable dangers. He was barely visible in the spectrum: always so fast, always so precise. A ray of dark hair and strong limbs, destroying everything to provide peace, to provide protection.

There was no point in denying how she felt about him… Except, maybe, to him.

“I don’t think I would like going back to Paradis,” she finally adds, finishing her drink. He seems to reflect on that idea for a moment, before nodding. He wants to ask why but he doesn’t dare to. “I’m just… comfortable here,” she finishes with a sigh. “This is okay.”

“That’s good,” he says, barely a spark of enthusiasm in his voice, but enough for her to notice.

She looks up at him again. And he feels tiny and scared suddenly, because she looks at him with wonder and care. Levi doesn’t mean to, but he ends up letting his drink fall from his hands, whether due to his nervousness or the state of his hand after the war.

“Shit,” he spits, upset.

“Sh, it’s alright, Captain.” In a second she is picking up the cup, handing him a handkerchief to dry his hands. She walks a few steps to throw both cups into a trashcan and is again, by his side. Such a quick interaction so as to ease his shame, he could notice it. “Are you alright?”

Levi still doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why she still treats him with such respect, why she seems to care so much for him. But he wants to find out, somehow. He barely nods, but she notices it.

“Good,” she says, while taking the handkerchief back. She is about to put it into her bag again when she feels a hand grabbing hers.

Levi.

He doesn’t even say anything. He doesn’t know how. She seems to understand, though, squeezing his hand, softly. Levi quickly lets her hand go, his cheeks going red. She gets behind the wheelchair again, as the sun is about to disappear, and Levi can hear her chuckling.

“Let’s get you home, Captain.”

He stays quiet, unsure if he could even say something useful.

There’s so much he doesn’t know how to say. How to do.

While she is pushing his chair he notices it again. A slight tremor in her right hand. “My wrist seems to ache lately… Must be from holding the blades for so many years,” she had explained in passing a couple weeks ago. He realises that it’s probably taking a strain on her to push him every fucking day.

“Oi,” he says.

“Yeah?”

“Stop pushing me. I can handle it,” he explains, tone serious.

“Oh, no,” her hand is trembling still. “It’s fine, it’s no bother for me, Captain.”

“… It’s an order,” he commands after a moment. She stops in her tracks and he can hear a gentle laugh coming from behind him.

“It had been a while since that, huh.” Confidently, she places one of her hands on his shoulder, gently tapping it. Levi smiles. Barely curving his lips, but he does. He is about to be brave, hold her hand on his shoulder when she removes it from him. “Shit,” he thinks. “Too slow… Too slow? Slow for what? Tsk.”

Despite his missing fingers, he can still push his wheelchair quite properly. It also helps that he can see his street far ahead. She walks comfortably besides him, a silence and gentle ghost as his most devoted companion.

Yeah. There’s definitely something aching in his chest. He had been noticing the past days, feeling getting more painful as they both approach his place. And it has nothing to do with his faulty joints or damaged body or excessive age.

When they reach his door, she asks for his key. Levi gives it to her, his hand lingering for a second too long, reflecting on the brief touch of hands as she grabs it to unlock the door.

He is tired.

And he feels incredibly silly when he realises he doesn’t want her to leave.

“There we go, Captain. I help you in?” she suggests with a bright smile, opening the door.

“… Yes.”

She steps inside and pushes the chair into his living room, almost getting it next to his couch.

“That’s enough” he decides, in a semblance of independency he still wants to maintain.

She nods. “Okay… I guess… I’ll get going, Captain.”

Levi lifts up his gaze. He wants to ask… He wants to know… He savours her image for a moment, her tired expression and the way her dress now looks clumsy and wrinkled but he doesn’t care. Before, before everything had ended up like this he would remind every single cadet to iron their uniforms, all the outfits presentable, so as to look like respectable soldiers and honourable bodies if the occasion arose. Now she can have the privilege of looking messy. Of not worrying about death so often.

“No,” he mutters.

“Huh?” she inquires, taking a step forward.

“Shit,” Levi thinks. “I… I want tea,” he makes up a quick lie.

“Oh, sure. Yes, Captain.” She leaves her bag on the couch and goes into the kitchen, getting a kettle full of water.

He looks at her in quiet admiration.

He doesn’t deserve her. But again, he doesn’t really deserve anything. He already has gotten too much: spoiled by the sweet possibility of life when all his comrades have fallen, their bodies twisted, mangled by titans and enemies alike.

Levi hardly cries, but he wants to cry in that moment. She turns on the stove for him, and rummages through his cabinets. She finds two cups and a sob is trapped inside his throat.

He doesn’t fucking understand why she stays, why she puts up with his sorry ass but, damn it. Damn it if he at least doesn’t try.

He stands up. His body still holds that ability, though his legs get tired rather quickly. He can still walk, so he does until he reaches the kitchen. She is still deciding on the teas when she sees him.

“Oh, no, Captain, please, just don’t…”

He interrupts her, grabs her waist carelessly and pushes her towards the couch, barely moving her.

“Let me handle it myself.”

“Levi…” She whispers, their faces inches apart.

“Go. Sit,” he mumbles, biting his lips and sending his eyes lower, so as to avoid her face.

“Are you sure?” She inquires a moment after, still close to him. He notices she has a hand on his waist as well, a protective aid making sure he stays on two feet.

“Yes,” he says, more commanding this time. He grabs that hand of hers and pushes her away gently now.

She nods, understandingly.

“I’ll be in the living room,” she adds.

Levi nods at her, making sure she finally gets that ass of hers in the couch. He is now faced with his kitchen. Most of the cups and teas, everything has been moved lower, so as to accommodate to his wheelchair. Slowly, he kneels, searching for a specific flavour for her. When he finally finds the peppermint and rose one, he mentally cheers. He stands up again, slowly, as if to show confidence, making sure from his peripheral view that she isn’t coming to his aid.

She isn’t. He catches her averting her eyes, though. A confirmation that she has been staring.

He decides to stare as well. Supporting himself on his weakened legs, he waits for the kettle to boil, while looking at her. It’s as if she could notice that, because her head doesn’t move, still fixated on an indescriptible point in his living room.

“Oi, what you looking at?” He says, a bit more light-hearted.

A smile forms on her lips before she even turns her head towards him. She doesn’t answer. Just keeps smiling at him.

“Fuck,” he thinks when he realises he has also slightly curved his lips.

Quickly he turns towards the stove, the kettle already boiling. Levi carefully fills the cups with water, letting the leaves rest. He lifts his gaze up to her for a second but it is already enough for her to notice.

“Need help with the cups?” Her, always so worried, so in tune with his needs. No need for words.

“Of fucking course.”

Still, the only answer he gives her is a polite nod. She stands up, approaching him.

“I’ll handle it, Captain. Just take a seat.”

He lets out a sigh, taking himself to the couch and plopping himself there.

“It’s hard,” Levi thinks as he sees her come back to the living room, two cups in her hands. He accepts the drink, his gaze not leaving her features. “I… I can’t.”

He knows he can’t accept kindness: he doesn’t know how to. Still, he tenses his jaw and forces himself to sip the tea as she takes a seat next to him.

“Peppermint, huh?” She hums mostly to herself.

 “… Yeah,” comes out of his mouth, unsure, less braver than expected. Is he insecure? Has he made a mistake?

“Good choice” She declares and he breathes again, realising that he had been holding his breath. “Bet you already knew that, right?” She adds, cocking her head.

Levi looks at her again. He has been avoiding her eyes but he hadn’t been trained as a soldier to back down in times of peace.

“I did,” he says, his tone firm, a very weak attempt at showing confidence still. “It’s the one you would always ask for when we would have meetings with the Scouts.”

“It’s good tea.” Her tone seems softer now.

Levi hums, too deep inside his mind to notice it.

She wonders. Wonders if he has ever realized that the only reason she would wander through the headquarters late at night was just to be found and reprimanded by him, the way she would be easily entertained by Levi’s stern face. Wondered if Hange had ever told him about the time she had fallen asleep in their office and woke up, mumbling his name, much to Hange’s delight, though they had promised to keep it a secret.

He looks down at his legs, at his carpeted floor.

He wonders if she had ever noticed the way he would mindlessly lick his lips after looking at her, the boring uniform suddenly a beautiful outfit, making her stand out. Wonders if it was too late to tell her that, yes, after Hange and her had found him, and stitched him up, that he had heard every single word she had uttered near his heart, softly pressing her timid hands on his chest. There hadn’t been time then to discuss anything or even think if it had meant anything else than old scouts being protective of each other, but now…

They finish their teas in silence. It isn’t uncomfortable, rather the opposite, despite the fact that Levi has started nervously tapping his feet against the floor. It is dark outside already, the light from the lamps flowing into Levi’s house, a dog barking a few blocks away.

She stands up, makes sure to wash her cup in the sink and put it away before returning to him.

“Captain?” She mutters. No need for more words.

Levi hands her the cup with slow movements, as if trying to prolong that insignificant action for as long as possible. And when she is already about to head into the kitchen, little plate and teacup in her hand, he decides to be brave. No more lying to himself, no more being a coward. Too many people have died, have bleed, have sacrificed the little they had for a selected group of survivors to be able to live. To enjoy the remaining Earth. For the little ones that survived to be able to find some meaning. Something worth all the pain.

Basking in the fear serves no one. In fact, makes all the death meaningless.

So, Levi looks up at her and grabs her hand, even if he is scared still. Trembling fingers dancing on hers until they secure her hand softly in his. He feels warm even if he doesn’t know what to say, how to convey what he feels. Such a shadow of the man he was. So stupid now.

Levi just wants her to say.

She gasps at the contact but quickly composes herself. A shy smile showing up on her face. They stay like that for a moment, neither daring to break the silence.

“Levi?” She asks after a moment, moving closer to his face, as if asking for permission.

He can only look at her lips in reply.

She shortens the distance between them and kisses him on his lips. It isn’t a big kiss, too flashy or provocative: just a tender contact between two broken people. As soon as he has processed what was going on, she has already moved forward, pressing a kiss on the tip of his nose.

And then, even higher, another kiss on his forehead, her lips remaining close to his face. Levi can’t say anything. Barely reacting. But when she looks at his eyes, she is greeted by the sweet glimmer of tears in them.

Levi. Happy, at last.

And as if reading his mind, she utters: “Do you want me to stay, Levi?”

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

She complies. In the quiet, late hours of the night, Levi wakes up, his body feeling too rested already. It was a habit hard to break, he wouldn’t sleep much anyway. He sighs still, feeling her body pressing against his, holding him from behind. She has one hand on his shoulder, the other keeping him safe and secured, hugging his waist close. He dares to smile and grab that hand across his belly with both of his hands, so as to make sure that it is real: he is being held. There is someone else with him. Levi isn’t alone. Someone is taking care of him. Someone he’s been devoted to for so many years.

He wants to nuzzle up closer, hide in her chest or neck and feel more.

But he doesn’t dare to. He can’t allow himself to do that yet. 

So he stays awake in silence, hearing the soothing and steady rhythm of her heartbeat.

Levi still doesn’t understand, though.

He doesn’t want to think of why she has chosen him, how he got this privilege so late in his life, when all hope seems to be lost and the thought of a partner didn’t cross his mind at all. He also doesn’t know what to do with this gift, this blessing. Why? How? He is such a crippled shadow of what he used to be. Slow, so consumed by roughness and violence and so useless now.

He has always had something to fight for: his life, his friends, his Squad, Erwin, Hange. Yet since the Rumbling he has just… fallen behind. He is just existing and it seems like his body has finally caught up to his age: no longer agile and strong, but a weakened man, finally leaving the survival mode that has characterised every single aspect of his life. He doesn’t have any goals or dreams now. Everything had been slowly trampled down like the titans destroying all land and all life.

He shivers, remembering that day and holds her hand tighter.

Once he had completed the promise made to Erwin, his last order, he had nothing more. No more commands. No more slaying titans.

Just existing.

He doesn’t want that. He has been a fighter, a rebel, a monster his whole life. He only knew of endurance and compliance with the spirit of life, of resistance. He doesn’t know of anything else: the calmness, the quietness, the routine walks and just reading books and sitting on his porch… That is not him. That isn’t life. Being able to choose things for himself, devour life gently and enjoy it instead of painfully trying to keep it close, to grip it between calloused fingers… Peace isn’t familiar.

He has nothing to devote himself to, nothing to prove or fight for.

“Yeah,” he thinks. “Everything is… meaningless… Or it was.”

He closes his eyes, relinquishing himself in the warm body against his.

Some things… Some things have meaning still.

Her.

The way she would scrunch her nose when laughing or buy him drinks or attempt to make him laugh or wear that damn stupid wrinkled dress and — “Fuck. I know her so much by now…”

She had been a Scout too. She had fought and devoted her heart and did everything a Scout had to do. She had fulfilled her duty in the same way he did. She has survived and she doesn’t regret a single thing. Not even this life.

She is at peace.

He wants to sob.

He doesn’t understand peace. Sure, it was his goal, what he always dreamed of, but, damn it. Levi had never thought he would actually get to see something resembling it. Unlike her. She understood what it was: she has accepted peace with open arms and a smile that — fuck, somehow— has been shining on her face throughout the years. Despite so much pain and death…  She still allows herself to fucking live in peace. She forgave herself for the death, for the pain and crimes and let go.

He isn’t sure if he can do the same.

Peace is foreign, strange even. An oddity. And he isn’t stupid, he knows that time would run up someday and that things would turn against them for a second time.

But, still, the promise of the rest of his life in peace lingers.

He could have it.

He fucking could.

Levi reflects on those thoughts for a moment, silent still.

He thinks he can get to an agreement. Maybe, when she wakes up in the morning, he can try to spill his soul to her a little. Try to understand how she handles this life, how she can get up in the mornings after killing so much, and just have tea with him.

But for now, in the quietness of the night, as the old warrior he was, he does the only thing he knows: he promises to dedicate his heart once more.

He finally has a reason, a purpose, something worth protecting again.

Levi lifts his hand, crossing it on his chest the way all Scouts would do. But he doesn’t press it on his heart, but rather, moves it to hold her hand, the one resting on his shoulder. He squeezes it gently, suddenly feeling too overwhelmed by her. By the silent love she had been proclaiming to him all these years and that he couldn’t reciprocate before.

Yes. Now it is the time.

Levi would dedicate his heart once more.

To her and only her.

That may have been the cheesiest ending ever written but !!!! He deserves it, I know. Also someone stop me before I write for Hange, the feelings got to me indeed. Dividers by @/cafekitsune @/saradika and @/vase-of-lilies

[bu-blegh-ost]

A short essay about how Caspian is mathematically not a mole (ep. 115 spoilers) (and for the whole series for that matter)

Okay, alright guys, I saw your concerns. I saw it all, and you are right to be worried that your favourite blue wet man's blue and equally wet best friend may turn out to be a traitor. And so am I, trust me. Which is why I went through every single bit of Caspian's past I could dig out to create an unltimate timeline of his entire goddamn life to see it it'd be plausible for him to become a mole at any point in time and ultimately prove his innocence! If that's something you're interested in reading, then buckle up!

"Jay, you come from a division of soliders that were purposely put to infiltrate pirate crews, especially the new and upcoming ones. This is totally seperate from the Black-Ops situation that you learned about in the Stronghold. And you, in this book, can tell that there is a plant on Lizzie's crew."

This, of course is something I need to point out first. Whoever Lizzie's mole might be, they are not a doppelganger. They are not a clone, or Black-Ops, just a solider of the Navy, a person that must have gotten into the Navy via regular recruitment, be trained by them and then put into a spy division. Jay ofc had this entire process sped up, due to her grandma's influence, but no one other than her, especially an Undersea citizen, who would probably have to put in extra effort to be trusted given their shaky political situation few years back, would get the same treatment. What I'm trying to say, Caspian would need time, at least few years of training to become a mole they'd trust to infiltrate a crew, and not just any crew might I add. More on that later. Let's go back to his most early years for now. This is a fragment of episode 84 in which Caspian talks to Gillion abt his early life:

C: We all have family. I consider my life up here, this crew to be my found family. But my previous…tribe with the water genasi in the Undersea, where I was growing up…sort of in a [illegible]... remember me telling you about the outskirts? We um…was very nomadic, quite a, quite a peaceful, tranquil life, but it was always, you know…mixed with this life of poverty and my family wasn’t very…wouldn’t really have much but the water around us, and each other, I suppose, so uh…You know...I mean my mother didn’t make it past old age, and uh…

G: I’m sorry…

C: When my sister left the tribe, my father sort of fell into a depression of sorts and he stopped moving around. And when we stayed in one place, I was 18 or so, maybe 16, it was a while ago, and then…that’s when I left as well. Ventured to the Oversea, and um…and it’s history, so that’s my family. Not sure what they’re up to these days, I mean…I know my sister went to the capital, where you were.

G: Pirating is a pretty lucrative business, maybe if…we managed to find them or run into them, we can give something back, put them in a better situation.

C: …Well um…I mean this was 10-15, 10 to 12 to 15 years ago, quite some, quite some time, so I don’t even know if my father is alive still, I mean I don’t really have the desire to go back to the undersea, Gill.

G: Wha-why not?

C: Because I like my life up here. This is where I’m happy.

So, before we go to what all of that entails, one more quick crazy thing to mention: so, Caspian's sister is an Elder of the Undersea. Like for sure. This is confirmed by this part from ep. 79:

The Triton who you remember as the Elder Odolaf, who looks like he is about to speak, but is cut off by the water genasi, who has been doing a lot of talking thus far, who is Elder Celeste. They stand up and there is a familiarity that you notice now in their face. It’s like you have met them before, but not in the way that you know them because they are the Elder, but in a way that it’s like, they look like somebody you know. And she has sort of these uh, white tied-up like dreads that are tied up in like a bun and they come across the face and then one side is shaved. And there are beads and piercings in her hair, her ears are a little bit more sea elf-like in the way that they are pointed and they kind of like gradient into pink. They all kind of wear the same sort of ornate robes, though hers is more, I guess faded and like cut a bit, look a bit more warriorous, or like tribal, but still very well-made and professional.

Tribal clothing, a water genasi, that looks like someone Gillion saw before in the face. The only water genasi Gillion met after leaving the Undersea is Caspian. Elder Celeste is Caspian's sister. Wild. Anyway, not what we're here for, but I needed to mention that.

The crazier thing is that Caspian left to Oversea when he was 16-18, and it has been 10-15 years since then. That means Caspian is currently 26 at possible youngest, and 33 at his oldest, which was surprising to me, I did not imagine Caspian as a man in his 30s! But that's straight up facts, so holy shit, you know?

Okay, so I'm going to list a lot of small facts that determine a lot of ages in quick succession. I hope it's not gonna be too scary to look at, I'll simplify it all at the end. [Deep inhale]

Right now Gillion is 22. So when Caspian left the Undersea, Gillion was 12-7. Jay is 21 and Ava was 2 years older, same age as Lizzie. So Lizzie is 23 now. When Caspian left the Undersea, she was 13-8. Chip is 19, so Lizzie is 4 years older. Hole in the Sea happened when Chip was 9, so Lizzie was 13. So Caspian left the Undersea around the same time Lizzie crashed on the uninhabited island with Chey after the Hole.

It's a lot, I know, I know. So let me clear this up a little.

Hole in the sea was 10 years ago. Chip was 9, Lizzie was 13. 10 years ago Caspian was in the age between 16 and 23, and he left the Undersea when he was 16 or 18. So roughly at the same time the Black Sea happened, Caspian came to the surface for the first time.

(also pls note that we are talking in estimates, casue in ep. 36 Lizzie says she was 11 when the hole happened, but in ep. 101 she says she was the same age as Ava which by the power of math would put her at 13. Either way, somewhere around that age)

After that, Lizzie spend some time on an uninhabited island with Chey, the Black Rose cook, who sacrificed herself for Liz, so she could survive and died shortly after. We do not know how much time passed, but I assume no longer than few months, and after that she was saved by Captain Shadowbeard where she met Caspian. They were a part of Shadowbeard's crew, Caspian saved her from the massacre where Shadowbeard was killed, and then Lizzie went on to create her own crew, Grandberry Pirates with Caspian never leaving her for a second since he met her. That means that the only time Caspian could have joined the Navy would be RIGHT after he came to the Oversea for the first time, roughly at the same time Lizzie was stranded on an island, and in that short period of time (between Lizzie's crash on the island and her being found by Shadowbeard) he would have to find the time to be trusted and accepted by Navy, get trained specifically for infiltration AND infiltrate not anyones BUT FUCKING SHADOWBEARD'S SHIP. Not a NEW crew. A crew of one of the most legendary pirates on the sea. Cause before Lizzie, Caspian was Sadowbeard's crew member, and since then he never stopped being a pirate, so if he was a solider, he would have had to be one before Shadowbeard. And remeber what Grizzly said in 115: "Jay, you come from a division of soliders that were purposely put to infiltrate pirate crews, especially the new and upcoming ones."

Shadowbeard was not new. Not upcoming. He was dangerous and Navy must have had the balls of steal to send a rookie solider, which Caspian would have been at that point in time, to infiltrate him. The numbers say it's impossible. Guys, the numbers! They don't add up!

Anyway, so basically Caspian could not be a mole. He is not a new pirate, he was not a member of a fresh crew, becaue his pirate journey did not start with Lizzy, it started with Shadowbeard. Grandberry Pirates is a new crew, but Caspian is not a newbie in it. You know who is? Rudith. I mean what kind of doctor lets a bunch of rowdy pirates have a secret base under a place where sick and vulnerable rest??? Like ANY other place would have been better and more respectful! Also you know what's interesting? Gillion could heal these people with lay on hands easily, and yet the only thing Rudith did for them was give them potions that didn't seem to help and look after them on purely non-medical level. Bro didn't do shit. Like, why would you even become a doctor without having access to healing magic? The answer, you are not. You are a Navy solider in disguise.

Okay, okay, I'm done, that's all. If you got this far, you are a hero, thank you for reading this insanely long ramble, but that's kind of the conclusions that I came to, of course, any counter-theories and discussion in general is very much welcome! I'd love to hear your opinions! Love you guys, bye~

[feroluce]

I have been informed by a mutual aid that you are a henghill enjoyer. You've single-handedly gotten me to care about Gepard and I would love to hear your thoughts on Cowborg Menace x Dragon That Can't Catch a Break

Aaaaaaaa I'm really flattered!! I have also been informed by a mutual aid that you have good taste (read: rvb enjoyer) and I need you to know that part of the reason I treat Gepard the way I do, like messing with him constantly, is because he makes me think of Wash. Poor dude was doomed the moment I got my grubby little mitts on him sksjkskdjd

But anyway yes, henghill! They really got me by the throat out of nowhere in 2.2. They're just. Surprisingly sweet?

The two of them get along very well, they see eye to eye on a lot of matters and have some similar mannerisms, they can hold long conversations together, and they have a shockingly swift understanding of the other in a very small amount of time! Platonically or romantically, there's a lot to dig into there. ♡

And I do mean a lot this basically ended up becoming a big long ship manifesto I'm so sorry zmjzznkdjd

Like first of all they're both fucking nerds over each other. Boothill's adoration for the Xianzhou alliance is already well-documented in his About Dan Heng voice line, and is appropriately pointed out in the fandom as sounding gay as all hell.

We know what you are, Boothill.

But then! He further cements it by trying to use Xianzhou sayings in front of Dan Heng haha

Not only that, but Boothill was able to recognize the Jade Abacus of Allying Oath for what it was like immediately, and instantly took it as proof of Dan Heng's identity as a Nameless. The validation of the Xianzhou is clearly a huge deal to him.

And Dan Heng plays it cool but like. I don't think he's actually much better JFKLASJDKL

The in-game Data Bank, which is supposed to be written and maintained by Dan Heng himself, has a pretty positive glowing review of the Galaxy Rangers.

And I feel the need to point out that like. The Galaxy Rangers are essentially a vigilante justice group..."group" being a pretty loose term, there isn't a whole lot of organization in there. Not everyone has a very good view of them because they're outlaws and there's a pretty wide and wild variety of individuals in the mix there, Boothill even confirms it as such.

And that archive entry is a hilariously stark contrast to the one for the Masked Fools, who Dan Heng does NOT seem to respect. So you can tell he puts a lot of his own opinion into the data and you can really see where his preferences lie KFDLAJFKLD

He does let his fanboy slip when Boothill first announces himself as a Galaxy Ranger though, just a little bit haha:

They're like the equivalent of when your favorite big name fandom person follows you back, you feel me fjkdjasflkdjskal

Which. I feel like it does make sense that he would really idolize the Galaxy Rangers and see them as heroes. Dan Heng is someone who was a victim of centuries of wrongful imprisonment and political power plays, and it would have been way worse had Jing Yuan not gone above the preceptors to protect him. He is someone that the system failed, and horrifically so. Of course he would like the idea of righteous heroes who stand for justice and travel the cosmos freely to help people.

And as @hydrachea, CEO of Dan Heng Enterprises and Super Genius with Giant Wrinkly Brain pointed out, this background DOES lay the foundation for Dan Heng to relate to Boothill a lot. You see this displayed beautifully in his Keeping Up With Star Rail video, where Dan Heng gets really protective of him, I adored it so so much. ♡

In it, Dan Heng not only comments that he originally came because he thought he was giving a presentation on how to be friendly with Boothill, but every time the IPC tries to paint him as some violent dangerous ruthless criminal, Dan Heng speaks up to explain his way of thinking and to defend him. It was really sweet!

And Dan Heng is protective of people anyway. He serves as the Guard of the Astral Express for a reason. He had nothing and no one before Himeko took him in, and now that he's found companions to love he is viciously defensive of them. You see it in the way he guards March 7th during fights on Jarilo-IV, in how he goes out of his way to bring important info to the trailblazer, in how he left the safety of the Express and infiltrated the Luofu because he was terrified he was going to lose them. But there's maybe a little extra layer of Understanding in the way he so persistently speaks up in Boothill's defense.

And I'm sure that this is a part of him that Boothill really admires, too, because Dan Heng also displays these instincts in Penacony. He makes the decision not just once, but twice, to use the Jade Abacus to save the Express Crew. And we know from Boothill's earlier reaction to it that like. The Jade Abacus is a Big Fuckin' Deal. It is something of immense value. Even with everything that's at stake, Boothill urges him to really make sure he wants to use it.

And this was something that really got me in the heart later, because! In Ena's Dream, Dan Heng once again decides to use the Jade Abacus, and. I'm not quite sure I can effectively put it in words, but there is something just so so sweet in the way that Boothill tells him no, Dan Heng should keep it. This is a get out of jail free card that could save his life down the line, he wants him to have it in case he finds himself in danger again later.

It really gives the feeling that Boothill actually wanted Dan Heng to not have to rely on this before, but there was no other way at the time. But now there IS something Boothill can do about it, and he wants to do something about it. A sorta-kinda "let me protect you this time"-ish feeling. If that makes any sense. He doesn't want Dan Heng to have to make that sacrifice.

Because I think Boothill would consider that a really admirable and respectable action, especially given his background. The IPC eradicated his homeplanet. He lost his parents, his siblings, his daughter, his home all in one fell swoop, and he has been on a fully dedicated revenge quest ever since. How could he not be a little awed by someone willing to give so much to protect his home and his family?

I think it's something the two of them understand in each other, because as it shows in the dialogue the first time Dan Heng decided to use the Jade Abacus, Boothill caught on immediately. He already knew what Dan Heng was planning before he even said so. And it's not even the first time he does that! Even as early as their initial entrance into the Reverie, Boothill is able to tell when Dan Heng is stressed, why he's stressed, and he backs off and gives him space without any fuss.

And it works! After the Express Crew are safe, they go from Dan Heng correcting him to more just kind of going with Boothill's flow, and I feel like this is a much better basis for their interactions.

Also I'm crying about Dan Heng blabbing that the trailblazer is a vessel of a Stellaron, gossipy little dragon fjdkasjfdklsaj

Like the two of them just GET each other! And so quickly and easily! It's ridiculous! Dan Heng is able to explain the methods behind Boothill's madness. Boothill is able to read Dan Heng like a book. They both had the same reaction to learning Acheron was a Self-Annihilator. They both really believe it's just fine and normal to have a weapon out if you don't trust someone yet- Boothill pulled his gun on Acheron the second he saw her, Dan Heng got his spear out and poked Sampo the first time he met him (valid). And they both act Like That because they're similar flavors of wary and cautious. They had to prove their identities to each other when they first met before either of them could relax.

They're both frank, and blunt, and will openly call shit out or question it when they see fit. They both believe in answering the call to action, and share a lot of their ideologies of The Hunt, like upholding justice and saving the innocent and protecting the weak. Boothill lives to fuck over the IPC and keep them from colonizing more planets like his, Dan Heng didn't even consider his own wants and asked to go to Edo Star to help the population there. They take their creeds seriously, and dedicate themselves to them, enough to be offended by imposters. Dan Heng dislikes Boothill claiming to be a Nameless, Boothill was literally hunting down Acheron for parading around as a Galaxy Ranger.

And all throughout 2.2, Boothill displays an immense knowledge of Paths and Aeons and even Emanators, and Dan Heng is a huge nerd an archiver and a collector of knowledge. The conversations these two could have!! They've both been to a lot of places and seen a lot of things, and I think Dan Heng especially would love listening to Boothill's stories and then adding them to the data bank. They can probably relate on rough travel, too- Boothill refers to the Astral Express as "bunkin' in luxury" and Pom-Pom once said Dan Heng was "used to sleeping on the rope." When March 7th takes the trailblazer to look for Dan Heng, she even phrases this as though he and Boothill have been talking together for quite a while!

Hell, even when they awaken in Ena's Dream, they arrive together:

They were together for almost the entirety of 2.2; literally the very first scene of it was their introduction. They only truly separated when Dan Heng went to help in the fight with The Great Septimus and Boothill to gather the Rangers (and then go shoot Aventurine full of holes fjkdlsajd) but! I'm really hoping we'll get to see more of them together in 2.3! They were a really cool duo, and it was so fun to watch them all through this update, I really want to see more of them now and explore their relationship dynamic more! ♡

[deer-carcasses]

"Great Alastor, altruist, died for his friends"

a deeper look into Alastor's solo part of the final song

The entire soundtrack has been stuck in my head since the show ended, but Alastor's part of the final specifically has been playing on a loop in my brain since I first heard it.

The slow downward pan from the Vee's feeling like they are now finally able to take over the city to the upward pan with Alasto's song starting was a fantastic choice, the contrast in their emotions, in the music, and still it all fit perfectly together.

"This place reeks of death," is such an underrated opening for this song in my eyes. We know Alastor is a cannibal, we've seen him eat a dead deer before, [^1] which would point toward him not having a problem with the smell of death and decay, but he goes out of his way to mention it smells of death. I don't think he truly meant the smell of death in this scene though. He might be talking about the death of his career if he had gotten killed in his fight with Adam. The line "Great Alastor, Altruist, died for his friends" is not him referring to himself as an altruist, it is the headlines he already sees if he truly would have died, seemingly for his friends, for the hotel. The way he follows it up with "Sorry to disappoint, this is not where it ends" shows this. It's him stating how absurd it is, but that this would be the story everyone would be thinking should it have happened. But I also feel like he says it because he knows there's the tiniest of truths behind it. Why did he fight Adam alone? Why did he fight in the first place? For the hotel, for his friends. As much as Alastor hates to admit it, he has gotten closer to the people in the hotel for sure, especially when we look at how he interacts with them all. He seems friendlier, even if it's just for show and to keep up his facade, but he truly does act like he at least cares a little but about them. The look he has while even saying it speaks volumes, he looks truly terrified of the implication that hell could see him as an altruist in this fight.

At first, his smile was an angry snarl, aggression about being humiliated by losing this fight clearly written all over his smile. But then it turns genuinely afraid like he fears the mere concept of being seen as a decent person, not even a good person, just decent enough to fight for the people in the hotel.

He digs his nails into his scalp, dragging his hands down the side of his face, but not at the prospect of dying, but at the idea of what would've come after he had died. [^2] At the idea that all of hell would know he not only died but died for someone else. Before this thought of what other people in hell would think of him, he looked more angry, enraged that Adam even dared be an opponent that Alastor had to run from in order to get out of there alive. His reaction is surprisingly human considering how Alastor normally holds himself. Sure he was alone ignoring the eyes following him around his destroyed radio tower, [^3] There's no one here that he would have to lie to, but he knows better than anyone that you're never truly alone in hell, so it still surprised me how honest he was with the viewers in this moment. It's the most we see of him that doesn't seem to be a character, a facade.

His whole persona is this blatant mask he wears constantly, obvious to everyone who knows him. He even admitted to Charlie that his smile is not real in the slightest. But it works. Every scene where Alastor was talking before his Breakdown Ballad in the finale, I second-guessed every single word that left his mouth. Wondering if it all is a performance. I see a lot of people online with the same thought, looking at everything he says twice, trying to see any hidden meaning, any clue as to what he truly wants to say behind words that, if said by any other character, would've been the least interesting thing ever. And even then, his fake smile keeps in place, even if the actual emotions behind it are clear as day, while alone in his destroyed tower. It might be to fool himself like he fools others, but I think his smile is not able to be dropped, let it be part of his deal or part of his punishment, Alastor will never be seen without his smile. [^4]

Overall i feel like Alastor does care about the Hotel staff and guests to a certain extent. I can't fully trust it, and I'd be less than surprised if I were to be wrong, but there are scenes where he seems too much like he cares.

Moving along on the song, the next lyrics are rather straightforward forward "I'm hungry for freedom like never before. The constraints of my deal surely have a backdoor" circling back to what I mentioned above. His current goal is to escape this deal that is constricting his powers, powers that would most likely have saved him from the injury he sustained. The next and final lines"Once I figure out how to unclip my wings. Guess who will be pulling all the strings?" strongly point towards how he is unable to use his full strength, that his full potential can't be reached while he is still under this deal he made. The thought of Alastor not being at his full potential in his fight with Adam is on some level truly terrifying, a Sinner can reach these kinds of powers in hell that he is able to fight someone like Adam, the first man, someone with approximately the same amount of power Lilith must have? I've just today talked to a friend of one about it. Yes, Alastor lost the fight, but he held up quite well and was a worthy opponent to the point that Adam had to seriously take a second, stop joking around, and concentrate on the fight to get a single hit on Alastor. All of this while Alastor also got a few hits in, not as strong as the ones he had to endure later on, but still. They were hits.

Regardless, in the end, Alastor came very close to dying, and that was for a cause that wasn't just for himself. Seeing what Adam did to the Hotel (or Sir Pentious while we're at it), Alastor has to honestly be glad he even survived that blow directly to his chest. There surely was some plot armor behind this decision, but it's still believable when we trust the theory that Alastor made a deal with someone far more powerful than anyone expects.

This show, and Alastor specifically, has taken over my thoughts completely.

[^1]: in my eyes his being a cannibal points to how he has a need for superiority. To always prove his worth. In his days alive he was a serial killer, a hunter, and now in hell, he has aspects of a deer, a prey animal. The cannibalism is purely to show that he is still on top, that he is superior even to those similar to him, to those that are the same as him. He might have characteristics of a prey animal, but he stays the hunter.

[^2]: this strengthens my theory that Alastor is also afraid of dying whiteout escaping the deal he is currently still bound to. I touch on it in this post a bit more clearly, it's almost at the end of the post.

[^3]: I'd like to link everyone to this post for some thoughts on the eyes in this scene. It's incredibly well written and I couldn't have phrased it better.

[^4]: the closest we ever get to not seeing him, or more part of him, not smiling is shortly before he vanishes from the fight with Adam. His shadow can be seen frowning in the background before quickly correcting itself. It's a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of situation.

[missmeinyourbones]

YOU WISH IT WAS ME, DON’T YOU? 

cw: fake dating, wedding cake testing, friends to lovers, mutual pining, so sweet i suddenly have a cavity, oikawa is a big fat nerd pass it on

You don’t think you hear him correctly the first time. 

But when he repeats himself, brashly confident and clearly enunciating his syllables between teeth and tongue, you know you’ve heard him right.

You can’t stop yourself from blurting out a genuine, “And why the fuck would we do that?”

Your words are harsh but granted, it is a stupid request.

Oikawa has officially decided the two of you should go to a bakery for wedding cake testing—to pretend to be an engaged couple. In public. As friends. Platonically. For fun. 

He must’ve gotten hit in the head at practice. 

“For free cake, obviously,” he shrugs, clearly not seeing an issue with his brilliant idea. “Come on, there’s gotta be a brain somewhere in that pretty little head of yours. You should use it every now and then.”

You ignore his backhanded tease (and the way your heart skips over the word “pretty” leaving his lips in reference to you.) 

You pray your poker face is decent enough as you send him a glare that’s meant to be intimidating. However, the smirk growing on his face let’s you know it’s mediocre at best. 

“Tooru, that doesn’t even make any sense,” you try to reason with the idiotic proposal. His head innocently turns to the side in confusion, so you begrudgingly elaborate. 

“We can just buy a cake,” you rationalize, as any normal person would. “I’ve seen your paycheck and trust me, you can afford it.”

His tongue prods against his cheek in amusement (and pride) at your dig before he continues with his act, whining like a child and pouting his stupid lips. 

“But that’s not the point,” he drawls the word out for at least three full seconds. 

He takes a dramatic inhale, “This makes it more exciting, it's like—a whole extravagant thing!” His hands fly out by his sides, showcasing the grand gesture of how fancy the idea seems in his puny little mind.

While he thinks he’s painting an intricate picture, you aren't seeing his vision. 

“It’s a silly and overdramatic ordeal, all for some lousy cake.”

At your pessimism, he scurries his way over to where you mope on his kitchen barstool. He’s never been one for utilizing personal space, but the conversation topic at hand has you overthinking every single thing he does. He’s so close you can feel the wind of his movements, the air of his dramatic exhales. You do yourself a favor and choose to look anywhere that’s not his face. 

Stopping right before you, his hands clasp together in a begging formation as he borderline pleads. 

“You won’t need to worry about anything, I’ll handle it all. I’ll book it, drive us in—I’ll even pay if they actually saddle us into buying something!”

When you finally pull your gaze away from your fidgeting fingers and up to his face, his eyes are glimmering with excitement. Though your stare would appear exasperated to most, he knows there’s love behind it. He can feel it. 

“All you need to do,” he whispers with a knowing smile, “is come.”

You ignore how your stomach flutters. His word choice has you blushing and fuck, you can’t tell if he’s doing it on purpose or not.

You sigh with irritation and though Tooru knows you’re not quite done putting up a fight, he’s already won. The look in your skeptic eye tells him you’ve already agreed. 

“If we like the cake, they’re going to expect us to follow up, with, like—actual wedding plans,” you try to reason. 

“So we get married,” he easily concludes with a smile. “Well, maybe. We’ll see how this first date goes, huh?”

You overlook the wink he shoots you and how it makes your cheeks flush hot. “And if we get caught?

“That’s what makes it so fun. Our own dirty little secret.”

Okay, he’s definitely doing it on purpose.

“But that won’t happen,” he casually concludes, shrugging his shoulders with blasé confidence, “I can be very convincing.” 

A silent staring contest ensues and Tooru knows he has you in the palm of his calloused hand. He watches as you struggle to fight off the smile that fights to work its way from the corners of your lips and across your entire face. Serving the final blow, he pokes your side gently and watches the grin take over.

“Do you ever tell the truth?” your eyes roll but your smile makes up for it. 

He shrugs happily, “I like to lie.”

…

“And this is our white chocolate ganache filling.”

You don’t know why you’re here. 

The bakery is small, cozy. A family-owned business that sits on the corner of Main Street downtown. You pass it sometimes on your daily commute to work, allowing yourself to ogle at the pastries in the display window if the weather is nice enough. 

The sweet woman scheduled to run your consultation was waiting for you both by the door when you arrived. She’s an older woman, small in stature but her kindness makes up for it. You can tell she loves what she does by how she’s gleaming at the tiny details of your supposed love.

How Tooru opens the door for you, how he fixes your hair when you remove your coat, how you blush when she addresses the two of you as the soon-to-be Mr. And Mrs. Oikawa.

Eager to get the process started and sit you down, she goes through all of the assortments of flavors in what feels like one singular breath. Af if she’s some kind of dessert-wizard, she begins to list all possible kinds of combinations. Some sweet and fruity, others dense and rich. 

It’s an overwhelming scenario in general, and knowing the truth behind the matter makes it all the more intimidating. 

“It all looks so great,” you sheepishly stutter behind a smile, “I don’t even know where to start, honestly.”

The baker continues to overflow with excitement, “Wherever you want! It’s all yours—but we do have one tradition. For your first bite.”

Tooru indulges, now intrigued by the mystery,��“Do tell.”

The woman blushes like a cherry tomato. 

“You have to feed it to each other,” she practically oozes with excitement, “as practice for your actual big day! It’s a good luck thing we like to encourage all of our couples to participate in.” 

She eyes your brief exchange of worried glances before carefully adding, “Only if they’re comfortable, of course!”

The hole you’ve dug yourself in just keeps getting deeper and deeper. 

You slowly nod your head in faux confidence, an act Oikawa clearly sees right through. 

“Yeah, sure,” you reluctantly agree. Almost immediately, a hand is on your shoulder and a pair of lips is skimming the shell of your ear. 

“Look, we don’t have to—”

“Just pick a flavor, Tooru,” you snap. 

He decides on a classic strawberry shortcake blend. 

The tiny sample square is bright and endearing. Vanilla cake covered in a blush white frosting, stuffed with a flavored whip, and decorated with a sugared strawberry sitting bold on top. It looks delicious, almost so perfect that you don’t want to pry your shaky fork into it. But Tooru does, so you follow suit. 

He makes the first move. His grip on the utensil is tight in a way that he hopes comes off as sturdy, as he slowly maneuvers closer to you. Like feeding a child a spoonful of mashed vegetables, he mimics an airplane before teasing. 

“Open wide.”

With a subtle glare, you do. And he does the same. And the two of you are equally guilty of watching one another's lips curl around the metal and savor the airy sweetness dancing on your tongues. 

It’s incredible. It’s delicious. And it’s the first one.

“Oh my god,” your fiancé for the evening practically moans in bliss, “Oh god, I think I died and went to heaven.”

Normally, you’d whack his arm, but given the circumstances (being the faux relationship you need to sell and how delicious the cake truly is), you resist the tempation. 

“Okay, normally I’d call you dramatic, but it’s actually really good.”

Tooru opens his eyes in a daze before placing his hand over his heart in a swoon. 

“And my very own personal angel? Yup, this is definitely heaven.”

...

The afternoon gets easier. You try nearly every flavor the bakery has to offer, every combination the woman recommends. From dulce de leche to lemon raspberry to chocolate mousse, everything tastes incredible and leaves your stomach fluttering with a fullness it's never known. 

At least you think that's the cakes doing, and certainly not courtesy of the man sitting beside you. 

With all flavors consumed and the consensus being weighed, the woman eagerly awaits your thoughts.

Tooru’s hand finds the small of your back as you sit in the cushioned chairs of the bakery. “What do you think, darling? Which one’s your favorite?”

An instant fire dances in the pit of your stomach—burning bright and contagious and terribly loud. 

“I think I like this one the best,” you decide. Pointing at the strawberry shortcake, Oikawa beams.

“Knew you were gonna say that one!” his tongue darts between his teeth as he grins. “Me too. I mean, you do have great taste, after all.”

Tooru generously tips the sweet lady for the free consultation, and you don’t miss how his smile grows in size when she wishes you a happy and healthy life together. He thanks her without a second thought. 

“We’re probably gonna take a day or two to think some things over, but I think it’s safe to say we’ll be in touch!” He practically hollers as he guides you out of the door and back into his car.

Stuffed to the brim with sugar and batter, you're exhausted. Amid the biggest food coma of your life, you crawl inside his passenger seat and immediately close your eyes. Though not asleep, you keep them shut when you hear him curse beneath his breath and close your door. 

“Shit, I think I left my wallet on the table. Be right back!”

…

Oikawa’s car pulls into your driveway. Once the car is shifted into park, he’s removing his hand from the steering wheel and turning to where you ;lazily slump in his passenger seat. 

He raises his eyebrows in amusement at your tired and full appearance. Catching his eye, you groan in response and lean against the window. 

“I’m so full, I can’t even breathe.”

“And you call me dramatic,” he scoffs with a smile on his face. 

You turn to him, sincere and delicate as you ask, “Are you happy? You got your dose of free cake.”

“Ecstatic,” his tone is soft, but he means it. “Iwa-chan’s gonna be mad when he sees my cholesterol levels, though.”

A laugh breathes through your nose, “He’d find a way to be mad at you, anyway.”

After a moment of quiet breathing, you dramatically sit up with a sigh, stretching your body and unbuckling your seatbelt. Tooru uses your movement as a distraction to reach for something in the backseat of his car.

When you face him to say goodbye, a tiny to-go container sits atop his car’s center console. His eyes dart from the box to your face, a silent request for you to open it. 

Your brow crinkles in confusion, so he laughs and answers your silent question. 

“A thank you,” he softly elaborates, “for coming with me.”

You hide your blush, “I think if I look at another piece of cake, I’ll start bleeding cream cheese frosting.”

“Oh, just open it,” he begs.

Inside the box sits a single piece of strawberry shortcake, the very first flavor you tried and your ultimate favorite of the day. It's a tiny slice, but its size isn't what you hone in on—a little frosting heart sits smack dab in the middle of the top, a detail Tooru had personally asked the woman to quickly add when going back into the shop. 

While it’s a small gesture, it’s a reflection of his true intentions. As childish as he is, he didn't bring you along today just for some free cake. He did it to spend time with you—it was just an extra perk that he got to feed you cake and call you darling while doing so. 

You melt in honor at the pretty pastry in front of you. 

It’s no wedding or proposal or confession in the slightest, but it makes you smile, and Tooru hopes it's a step in the right direction. 

[peepism]

Number | Levi Ackerman

modern AU! Levi sees you standing in line with your friends waiting to order some food, he strikes up a conversation in hopes to getting your number. Some swearing, obviously. (Levi is also around the same age, not much of an age gap)

wc: 1,369

The streets of Maria were full of loud bustling this particular evening, with children screaming in joy while continuously going up and down play structures at the local park, people selling their products at the market, and various activities being held.

Everyone was outside, including the college students whom usually would've stayed in their dorms studying for their year end exams.

"I SAY WE GO GET SOME ICE CREAM!" Sasha randomly chimed in, bringing your focus to your large group of friends, that was one way to break your train of thought.

"I agree, the sun is out and everyone is enjoying their time. Surely it won't hurt to get some sweets in our stomachs." Historia- better known as Krista added, her sweet smile making anyone want to agree.

You trailed behind them, keeping your mouth shut just out of habit, occasionally pulling out your phone to check if you had gotten any messages from anyone. It wasn't that you weren't interested in being out spending time with them, not at all, it was just your anxiety from being out in the open and also thinking about how much studying you'll need to cram. Especially your psychology, that class had no breaks what so ever and the content was heavy. "Y/n, you alright?" A small voice beside your whispered, causing a small jump from you. "I'm fine Mikasa."

"Y/n/n.. be honest. Usually you're being loud and obnoxious right now with everyone else. What's going on?" She pestered more, her grey eyes practically piercing into your soul.

– I suppose I'm just a bit stressed, is all.

– About what? You know you can talk to me, it's not like I'll tell the others.

– It's just the studying I need to do, sure, I shouldn't be thinking about it and should be out here enjoying my time with everyone but I just can't. You all know how much I've been struggling lately in Psychology.

– I know, but hey... will those hot guys take your mind off it for even a little while?

Your e/c looked to where she had nudged, a small mischievous smile trying it's best to not appear on your lips, knowing full well she would have proved her point if you allowed her to see it. This caused stifled laughter from the both of you, making everyone else turn around in curiosity, demanding and begging for you both to reveal the secret but to no avail.

"Seriously, what is it Mikasa?" An angry Eren continued, bugging the poor girl. It was incredibly obvious they both fancied one another. You just couldn't stand the bickering, which lead you to pushing past them up to the front so you could order your ice cream.

Unbeknownst to you, Levi Ackerman had walked up having spotted his sister and Eren. Questioning them on what they were up to and vice versa, until his eyes had landed on you.

His slender fingers grabbed Mikasa's arm, wanting her to pay close attention to what he had to say. It was a weird habit of his he had, he also wasn't the most gentle with his grip either. "Who's that?" His eyes squinted, his head giving a curt nod in your direction.

– That's Y/n L/n. A friend of mine, clearly.

– No shit, fuckface. Clearly she's a friend of yours. Is she single?

– Why do you want to know? She's too young for you, besides. Why would I want you dating a good friend of mine. It's weird.

– "I'm not even that fucking old?" Levi scowled, his forehead creasing at the small digs his younger sibling kept giving him.

"Whatever Levi, do what you want. However it doesn't mean I'll be happy with you." She finally warned, giving the short man a little shove towards you who had begun ordering their ice cream.

Now that his mood had been ruined, he grumpily made his way towards, brushing himself off from every inch.

As you began to laugh from something Connie had said, his heart began to skip. Cheezie of him to think, but your laugh truly was the most adorable thing he had ever heard in his life. It up lifted his mood faster than light.

With one last final mental pep talk, he excused himself from cutting in front of the large friend group, making quick conversation with a few and butting into yours in particular.

"I'm so glad most guys don't ask for numbers. I don't think I'd know how to react. It's a bit awkward now a days to ask for a number. The sucky part about it is, if he doesn't ask for your number then you automatically know he doesn't want anything serious, and I'm just not that type of person. Ya know?" You had been talking, answering a silly question that Ymir had asked once she saw the amount of guys that had been taking quick glances at you.

When Ymir noticed Levi standing behind you, a shit eating smirk adorned her face, arms folding over her chest and her finger giving a quick point.

"What?" Your face furrowed in confusion, whipping around to come face to face with the attractive man. The blood that rushed to your face out of embarrassment was unmatched. "Oh fuck, hello!"

– "Hello." He chuckled quickly adding on to have a conversation with you. "I'm Levi, Mikasa's brother. I figured I'd do my rounds introducing myself to everyone. Not that I planned on it. I just saw her with you guys and thought I'd come say hello. Everyone was around when I spoke to her except you two. Didn't want to leave you guys out."

– "Mhm. Is that so?"

An amused look shone in your eyes, a small giggle wanting to force its way out of your throat. He was a bit awkward with it, yet it was cute in it's on way.

– Indeed. Might I catch your name?

– Y/n L/n. Everyone calls me Y/n/n though.

– Noted. So tell me about yourself?

– Well, I'm a (Your major) student. I plan on becoming a (profession).

– Interesting, I'm studying to become a lawyer. So far I have two years of studying left. I wish you luck in yours.

– Must be hard, but yes, you as well! It was nice meeting you!

– It was nice meeting you as well Y/n.

You were practically melting inside, your attention completely on him as he had slowly began to walk away. Yumir was the one who pointed out your ice cream had been dripping down your hand to your arm from not having eaten any yet from being in la la land with Levi.

This caused you to frantically grab napkins and clean yourself up, your friends giggling at you. When you were suddenly being helped by another pair of hands, a pair you recognized but didn't at the same time until your gaze shifted up. Nose inches away from Levi's.

"By the way. I forgot to ask. Can I get your number?" His steel eyes glimmered, knowing full well you weren't going to say no.

"Depends. How old are you?" You shot back now being all cleaned up with his help, heart absolutely feeling as though it was going to jump out of your chest.

"I'm twenty-three. You?"

"Nineteen. Too young?"

"Pushing it."

A row of giggles spewed out, not being able to be held down any longer. You had to admit, he was pretty smooth with it, it probably ran in the Ackerman genes. Gingerly you passed him your phone and he added his number in your contacts, fingers brushing up against yours as he handed it back. "Your ice cream, it's melting again.." He droned out, shaking his head to grab some more napkins and help you out. Not leaving until he tucked a strand of h/c behind your ear.

– We thought you said you were glad guys don't ask for numbers, Y/n/n. Everyone in unison laughed

– Oh shut the fuck up, this is an exception.

– An exception who just so happens to be my older brother. Mikasa finally teased.

It was a nice day. Amazing even. A day you'd never regret skipping studying for.

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

another idea for adams character

"

Adam wiped out the blood from his eye as he crawled out of the hole.

Blood. His blood. The first mortal blood in all of existence. And… it was in his eye.

These… these children had actually cut him. Hurt him, and more than once.

Physically, at least.

Spitting out a tooth, he caught sight of his reflection in a pool of sinner blood as he pulled himself up, clear as a cracked mirror, and it was a face (so normal, the sort he knew that no one could ever pick out of a crowd) he had not deigned to really look at in millennia gazed back at him. When had he last taken off his mask?

He felt his fingers dig into the ground as he looked up, looked at all of those who had dared to stand against God's Plan, against these exterminations. Sinners, Hellborn and that fucking princess the serpent's fucking spawn.

He saw them, all… glaring at him, over the sound of angels dying.

Glaring. Angry, as if… he was in the wrong here!? AS IF HE WAS THE ONE BEING JUDGED!?

He spat out a mouthful of gold blood. "You… don't look at me like that, you… you fucking sinners! At least end this! Kill me! You! You of all creatures don't get to just play the fucking mercy card!"

The spawn shook her head. "We're not going to kill you. Because we're not like you."

The world seemd to crack in the back of Adam's mind, and red flooded his vision. "Are… are you fucking serious right now? YOU!? YOU FUCKING THINGS ARE THE ONES JUDGING ME!?"

He swept his bloody gaze over the sinners in the crowd. "NONE OF YOU WOULD EXIST WITHOUT ME! WITHOUT HER! Paradise… was lost! We lost paradise when those fucking serpents that this fucking princess of yours slithered out of… when they whispered in her ear! In my ear! And yet I still loved her, loved all of you, even after that first bite! We lived to let free will live on, when we could have (should have) just offed ourselves the moment Uriel slammed the gate in our faces! Our fault, but we did it out of love once it started rolling and… and then came THIS!"

He swept a bleeding hand out wide over the bloody sky, the Ring of Pride. "THIS IS WHAT YOU ALL CHOSE TO MAKE OF IT! YOU ALL CHOSE, and you keep choosing, over and over again! As above so below! Cannibals, rapists, liars, murderers, warmongers! And… and I'm the bad guy here!? You think I enjoy doing this!? I'm not the monster here! You think I want to keep killing my children, year after year after year!? And only because that fucking, smarmy serpent and his whore ASKED FOR THIS!?"

The spawn's eyes widened, and yet he could not take any satisfaction from even that, that her daddy had neglected to tell her about that little factoid.

Still, she rallied, that FUCKING LOOK back in her red eyes. "Then why are you the one leading this!? If you hate it… then you could just stop."

At that, Adam felt the rage slip out of him, crystalize into something cold. "Because I've gotten a lot of experience when it comes to disowning wayward children, you little freak. This… this is the bed you and all your little friends made. Don't start pointing fingers just because there are suddenly nails in the mattress."

"

Yeah, Adam learned a long, long time ago that actions have consequences, and it doesn't matter how much you regret them or wish things were different or whine and moan, you have to live with those consequences and carry on. This is a man who lost everything, not only for himself but for every single one of his descendants. Consumed by bitterness and guilt to the point where he can delude himself into thinking his actions against his wayward children are justified, enjoyable even, until confronted with his own misery and he snaps.

Ok

[foliejpg]

44 + 72..

i’ll be real with you bestie i blanked on 44 “I'm addicted to you. You're mine" but here’s some current era peterick<3

72. “I’ve wanted this for such a long time.”

Pete can’t believe this is actually happening. He’s watching Patrick - Patrick, his best friend in the entire world, his twin skeleton - get down on old knees with a little face of exertion. His knees don’t bother him so much as his back does, Pete knows that for a fact. It might be the only thing he knows anymore.

Patrick settles on the pillow he threw down first. That was kind of weird to watch, made him feel even older than he usually does. Still, his hips lift up off the couch on their tour bus when Patrick reaches for his sweats. He pulls them down his thighs and off his legs entirely, then looks up.

Pete is very, very aware that Patrick is staring at this dick, which is unfortunately not very impressive at the moment. He’s forty four, okay? He can’t fuck the day away like he could at 23, but Patrick takes in his half-but-getting-there hard cock for a quiet moment. This is one of those moments where Pete really wished they could read each other’s mind, because the contemplation on Patrick’s face is making him nervous.

When Patrick’s eyes flick up, his face is cherry pink. His eyebrows knit together with intent, he says, “Take your shirt off.”

Who is Pete to deny him? He rips his tee shirt over his head and Patrick’s lips twitch, like he could almost smile. He just kind of shakes his head like he’s talking to himself, his hands finding Pete’s knees. He flinches involuntarily, but Patrick doesn’t acknowledge what has to be terror on his face.

Pete watches him sit up on his knees and scoots closer to the edge, spreading his thighs so Patrick can fit. He stares, eyes wide and open mouthed, untrusting of his own sense of reality, as Patrick opens his mouth and takes his cock in his mouth.

Just the head, just a little bit, but it’s enough to make Pete’s entire body jump. His hands shoot down to grab his shoulders, his hips bucking up into the warmth of his mouth. Patrick recoils, glaring but he doesn’t pull off.

“Sorry!” Pete gasps, his fingers digging in a little tight. Patrick rolls his fucking eyes with his cock between his lips before he actually does anything. He sucks so very gently, like he doesn’t really know what he’s doing and Pete wonders if somehow Patrick has never done this before.

Which, unsurprisingly, makes it better. This is the best blowjob in the entire world, better than not only every beej Pete has gotten but better than every single one that’s ever been delivered. Patrick has, as Pete always knew to be true, a mouth made to give head. Specifically give Pete head.

“God,” Patrick gasps when he has to pull up to take a breath, his glasses askew as he puts his hand around Pete, “you know, I’ve wanted this for such a long time but maybe I wouldn't have been so eager if I knew you talk so much while you’re getting your dick sucked.”

Pete can’t be embarrassed past a hot blush, skipping right to the only part he heard and asking, “You have? Wait, really?”

Patrick looks up at him as Pete goes on, “How - how long?”

“Can we talk about this later?” Patrick scoffs, frowning. It’s not a real frown, one of those special ones Pete gets when he’s being a little much. “Are you going to let yourself enjoy this blowjob or are you going to think about it the entire time?”

Pete blinks at him, stunned. That’s a very good point, but he can admit that later. He nods, slinking down on the couch. His hand cups Patrick’s cheek, holding gently, and his heart skips when the younger man leans into his palm.

“Is both an option?” Pete asks, and there’s that winning smile, another Pete-special. Patrick gives him a sarcastic sneer and ducks his head again, shutting him up.

[aihoshiino]

What are your thoughts on how onk is handling ruby recently

So I've been rattling my brains about this since long before this ask – since the chapter 123 leaks dropped, if I'm honest and I think I'm at a place where my feelings are "I understand why these choices are being made, I just don't like that these are the choices they went with".

(I kind of talked about this elsewhere last week, by coincidence, so sorry to anyone about to see me repeat myself LOL)

As someone who really, REALLY loves Ruby, it feels like there's been a consistent failure to properly center her and give her focus and interesting things to do since around the start of Tokyo Blade. Black hoshigan Ruby (as I've mentioned in a previous post) was a really interesting and exciting opportunity to dig into Ruby's trauma and darker feelings that OnK is comparatively quieter on. But with the benefit of hindsight now that the arc is over, it's clear that the whole thing was just a plot cul-de-sac - if I were feeling particularly uncharitable, I would go as far as to call it filler to waste time until Aqua was back in revenge mode. She might not ping back to white stars until 123 but black hoshigan Ruby essentially ceases to be relevant once Aqua is back in the picture until she can be used to serve his arc again.

And the frustrating thing is - I was so, SO fucking excited to see how Ruby was being handled in the start of the movie arc! It felt like we were building up to a really fantastic examination of Ruby's relationship with all three of her mothers, and the way toxic motherhood in general trickles down and poisons someone for long after they're out of the environment of abuse. The incredibly strong and vivid depictions of Ruby literally triggering and retraumatizing herself by engaging with material that depicted Ai's own abuse and the way it dragged back memories of her own abuse and abandonment were so powerful and so scary - her pain absolutely overflowed out of every single page and the care and tenderness with which it was depicted made me feel so deeply for Ruby. This poor, poor girl who has been in so much pain for so long and has done her best to be happy and strong but is at last reaching her human breaking point - it was so fucking good!

The arc we were promised for Ruby at the outset of the movie arc was, no joke, exactly the sort of thing I had been hoping and praying for Akasaka to do for her ever since I got back into the series in April. I really, genuinely thought this was finally going to be Ruby's time to shine and achieve some meaningful healing and catharsis.

And then the arc completely switches tracks to be about Aqua instead and all we've gotten from Ruby since is incest bait and her simping over her brother.

To be clear, I am 100% aware I am being disingenuous here and that there is way more going on than my eyerolling dismissal of it, but I'm trying to get across how it feels for me as a Ruby enjoyer VS how my Themes And Characterization And Narrative brain logically understands what is going on.

It absolutely completely makes sense for Ruby to be behaving this way right now. Gorou was the first and only person in her short life as Sarina to make her feel safe and valued and cared for and having the miracle of their reunion granted to her after she was sure she'd lost him forever and just as she was at emotional and mental rock bottom? That shit was GUARANTEED to turn her brain into soup and Ruby developing confusedly romantic and unhealthy feelings for Aqua vis-a-vis projecting Gorou onto him when she is so desperately in need of comfort and support is maybe not pretty or flattering, but it feels honestly, authentically weird and messy and uncomfortable. Oshi no Ko's willingness to portray character relationships with enough of that honesty to just let them be weird and fucked up and icky and unhealthy sometimes is something I really, really appreciate about it.

My issue is not that this plot point has happened to begin with - my issue is with how it's been framed. This is partially exacerbated by the manga's schedule getting FUBAR'd just after this reveal dropped and thus forcing us to stew in what I imagine is still the relatively early stages of this new status quo for maybe longer than intended, but we have gotten little to no serious examination of how Ruby actually feels about any of this. Almost every interaction the twins have had since this reveal dropped has been incest bait jokes. The fact that Ruby was in the middle of a massively overdue bit of character development that was finally all about her and her feelings only for that to get thrown to one side in favour of her being all uwu oniichansensei and being treated like a comic relief character is just so, so deeply insulting and betrays such a huge lack of respect for Ruby and her feelings.

The relative shallowness and childishness of them is, I think, intentional and accepting this uncritically as yummy ship bait is clown behaviour - we are playing around in this space specifically to soften us up for when the twins finally have an open and honest confrontation about this, but all that means is that for the time being, I am being asked to laugh at and vicariously enjoy Ruby's unhealthy, fucked up feelings born from her deep trauma and to be perfectly frank that just leaves me feeling fucking insulted.

As a survivor of the little sister incest anime boom and a fan of Revolutionary Girl Utena, I simply have no patience for a series that purports to take itself and its characters seriously then turns around and plays sibling incest for nudgewink laughs and ship bait, especially when it has derailed and, in the short term, superseded and ruined what was shaping to be an exciting and deeply emotional character arc for a character desperately in need of focus.

[lamardeuse]

We’d be so grand at the game

(Buck/Eddie, rated E, c. 12000 words)

visual teaser

First of all, Eddie knew it was a bad idea, okay? But it also kind of made sense.

Somewhere in the last couple of years, he'd gotten stone cold petrified of dating. Fine, let's be honest, he'd always hated dating. The thought of meeting stranger after stranger, both of you desperate to make some sort of connection, was Eddie's idea of hell. Deciding what to do, where to go, whether the restaurant was not fancy enough or too fancy, whether the activity he proposed was too boring or kid-oriented, then actually going on the date and trying to make small talk or be charming  – the point was that the whole thing, from start to finish, was a nightmare.

“You dated a lot,” he said to Buck one night, after Christopher had gone to bed and it was just them and a baseball game the Dodgers were seriously losing, “how did you – you know, keep women interested?”

“Uh,” Buck said, “well, I wouldn't call a lot of what I did dating, exactly. They were hookups, not anything that might have led to something more meaningful – or even a second date. I kept them interested long enough to get what we both came for, I guess.”

Eddie took a long drink of his beer and tried to ignore the way the tips of his ears suddenly felt hot. He'd heard enough stories about Buck 1.0 from Hen and Chimney to know Buck hadn't made the best choices in those days, but it was another thing to hear it from Buck himself.

Buck added, “The first woman I seriously dated was Abby, and that was – the definition of complicated.” He paused. “Now that I think about it, we didn't go out much. But then our first real date ended with her giving me a tracheotomy.”

Eddie nearly choked on his beer. “Holy shit, Buck,” he managed, coughing. “How have I never heard this story?”

Buck grimaced. “Because it's embarrassing? Besides, I always got the feeling you didn't like her very much.”

“I don't,” Eddie admitted. Honestly, he kind of hated her, and he'd barely met her. From what he'd learned from Buck and the others, it seemed to him like she'd used him, only to drop him like a hot rock the minute he'd served his purpose. She'd never really seen him as anything but a pretty young bedwarmer instead of a person worthy of consideration. She'd never seen Buck.

And it was possible he was a little biased. Especially when he'd had to watch Buck pull a dangerous stunt because he thought her happiness was worth more than his life.

“Well anyway,” Buck said, “the point is I'm not a big expert on dating either. I just sort of – go with the flow, let the other person take the lead.”

“Hm,” Eddie said. “Yeah, I've had it with doing that. I went with the flow and ended up married and having a kid at twenty-one.” He held up a hand at Buck's startled look. “Not that I'd trade Christopher for the world. But I've spent a lot of time feeling like I'm being swept along while other people make the decisions for me, and I'm tired of it.”

“I guess we all feel that way sometimes,” Buck murmured. “Nobody is one hundred percent the master of their own destiny.”

“You believe in fate?”

Buck made a face. “Not exactly? Just – Taylor said once that I should let the universe come to me –”

This time it was Eddie's turn to make a face, and Buck laughed. “Man, you clearly hate my taste in women, huh?”

“I thought Allie was nice.”

“She dumped me while I was still recovering,” Buck said, sounding mildly outraged.

“She got scared. I get it – Shannon was terrified when I went overseas.”

“We're not soldiers, Eds.”

Eddie had a sudden memory of the steady beeping of the machines that kept Buck alive, having to dig his nails into the palms of his hands to stop himself from counting every single one. “Last couple of years, it hasn't felt all that different,” he muttered.

“Yeah, I – I guess you have a point.” Buck blew out a breath. “And that makes it harder too, you know? What we do is dangerous at the best of times. Not everyone wants to sign up for that.”

“Geez,” Eddie said, leaning his head back against the couch. “Guess we're going to be alone for the rest of our lives.”

“Speak for yourself,” Buck said.

Eddie lifted his head. “What, so you're dating now?”

“I'm – going to,” Buck said, drawing himself up.

“When?”

“As soon as I remember my Tinder password.”

“You can reset your password, you know that, right?” Buck glared at him, and Eddie looked back at him steadily, his eyebrows raised.

And then they both burst out laughing.

“God, we're a pair, huh?” Buck said, wiping his eyes.

Eddie felt his heart thump against his breastbone. “Yeah. I guess we are.”

Buck hitched a leg up on the couch and turned more toward Eddie, the disastrous game forgotten. “So how do we get ourselves back out there?”

Eddie opened his mouth. Closed it. Shrugged. “Practice?”

“How are we gonna practice if we can't even take the first step?”

Three hours later, when he was lying in bed staring up at the ceiling, Eddie would not be able to pinpoint with any certainty what possessed him to say what he said next. All he knew was that at the time, it seemed like the perfect answer, the obvious solution.

“We practice on each other.”

read the rest at the AO3

[evilwickedme]

Hi there I would like to say I’m interested in the deadpool homophobia rant

hi there! many thanks to you

so the "deadpool homophobia rant" is... a little complicated. I'll try to keep it short because God knows I talk about Wade too much as it is on this hellsite. the point, before we go into literally any detail, is that the writing surrounding deadpool's sexuality is deeply problematic, both in its representation and its consequences in-narrative to him as a person, but I'll try to just focus on the facts.

we all know that deadpool is omni/pan, right? wrong. well, not wrong. just not... quite as solidly canon as we'd like. this is the only reference the actual word gets in canon:

this is from the posehn & duggan 2012 run (my beloved), although don't ask me to hunt down the specific issue, please, that sounds like a nightmare. suffice it to say that it's from the letter section at the end of one of the issues and that it's the only time I can find the actual word referenced anywhere with regards to our boy. you may remember that it was confirmed at some point - yeah, in a since deleted tweet. despite being attracted to anything from aliens to death herself, wade is not allowed to go past plausible deniability when it comes to heterosexuality.

that doesn't mean that wade doesn't express attraction to men, because he does, and often.

(from deadpool team up #887)

(from an early issue of spider-man/deadpool. 2, I think. maybe 3)

(from the daniel way 2008 run, again, don't make me dig up an issue please, but it's the one where he teams up with spider-man to defeat hit-monkey)

(there's also a few panels floating around online where he expresses attraction to cable but I don't have those saved on my laptop. I remember seeing one where wade fantasizes about rubbing sun screen on cable's back? but again, do not have those saved.)

anyway, the point is, wade absolutely gets to express attraction to men, and constantly. but only at his own expense. only when the joke will land. only when he gets to immediately say "no homo". only because he's already quirky and weird and insane, so of course he's also attracted to men, he's not all there, after all.

I'll try not to let this cross over to a connected but wholly separate rant about the ableism in his writing, but it's all connected, at the end of the day.

and it would be one thing if deadpool wasn't a relationship guy. but, although he's absolutely terrible at it, deadpool makes stab after stab at monogamy - always with women. he's a sleezeball, really. constantly asking women out, super and non-super, whether they're in any way interested or not. posehn & duggan pull back from this a little, and instead have him get married to shiklah, in a special issue dedicated to "every time deadpool has gotten married" (or at least thought he did). they got a bunch of previous deadpool writers and artists to contribue to the issue. somehow every single marriage was to a woman, even if she was literally an alien. bc deadpool's attraction to a woman is a tragedy, but at least it's a story; wade's attraction to a man is a joke. his one "relationship" with a man is with madcap, who abuses him from inside his head. they call it "falling in love":

(from deadpool annual #1, from uh... 2013? 2014?)

... but madcap's nothing but horrifically abusive towards wade when they're "together" (as in fused together with madcap playing the role of "white box") and the first arc in the 2015 duggan run is madcap deliberately fucking up deadpool's life because he won't take him back. not exactly a positive canon relationship. shiklah treats wade better.

deadpool also likes to dress in a typical feminine or gay coded fashion, and it's constantly questioned or made fun of by the people around him:

(from the deadpool musical issue)

(I actually had to google this one, I don't know where it's from for sure but it's pre-2012 (cause... boxes) and I'm pretty sure it's from cable & deadpool. no idea beyond that what issue or anything)

we see a constant, then, of deadpool expressing attraction to men and his gnc presentation, and yet the narrative never respects him for it. it plays it for laughs, plays the plausible deniability card, and despite wade himself seemingly being comfortable with his sexuality it is never presented as a good thing or even a neutral thing. deadpool's sexuality shines through despite what seems to be the writers actively fighting against it. and it doesn't have to be this way. nobody made them write him as pan in the first place, although, yes, I'd be sad if he wasn't, and more importantly, nobody made anyone write his pansexuality like this. it's in the movies too, to a lesser extent. it's frustrating and exhausting and it's deeply homophobic.

I love wade. he deserves better.

[bugtransport]

Kamen Rider Stronger finished April 20, 2023

i forgot i finished this on 4/20. LONG POST WARNING!!

Okay, before I start this one, holy shit I’ve done so much since the last time I wrote one of these. Let me get back into the groove here. Stronger is in a weird spot where I feel like I have to recap a lot to talk about what I want to talk about so there’s going to be a lot of that. This one builds. Let me convince you that General Shadow is an interesting character.

AS ALWAYS: I’ll be dropping spoilers willy-nilly for like every series leading up to this + all of Stronger but there's an extra warning before the show ending spoilers. Thank you.

YIPPEE!

I know I've already owned up to it but at this point let's make it official... Showa Rider might be made for me? Every single time I try to think back about what I just watched to write about it I'm hit with the exact same thought: holy shit, that was SO fun. It is, it really is and always is. I had a blast, thanks. This is also the first time I've really felt like the way that I'm watching this (by starting at the very beginning and just blasting through season by season) has actually paid off! The past couple seasons have gotten interestingly experimental but Stronger feels like they were attempting to return to form while still using the knowledge they learned along the way. It's kind of adjacent to how V3 felt like '71 Rider refined; Jo Shigeru came in like "we are SO fucking back." 

The comparison between V3 and Stronger extends to the main characters too; I think that Kazami and Shigeru are more alike than not. We've been rotating protags (sans Hayato, sorry babe but you’re special in my eyes) in a pattern I've described as "sensory issues -> batshit -> wet" where for as much as I compared Hongo and Amazon to each other in the "the world is so loud and scary and I can't trust myself to not lash out and that scares me more" department I have to do the same for Kazami and Shigeru in the "hey boss, I'm gonna go fucking, I don't know, dig this bullet out of my shoulder with a knife I cleaned by spitting on it and then electrocute myself for funsies" department. Like okay, take a look at this list I whipped up here:

Both Kazami and Shigeru wanted to become borgs to avenge people who were dear to them and killed by the organizations in their respective series; Kazami for his family and Shigeru for his friend. Though Shigeru went straight to the source while Kazami tried to convince Hongo and Hayato to borg him first to no avail, you can’t tell me that Kazami didn’t jump into that beam and save the two of them and not think that might win him brownie points that he could then later use to convince the two of them that yes, this is the right thing to do and he would be a great addition to the team. 

Both of them have another Rider with them (I count Tackle!) who aren’t really… fully borged? Yuki isn’t for sure, he’s just got the arm; I’m not sure exactly whether or not Yuriko is a full borg because I don’t believe they straight up address that in the show but they sure didn’t address her like one and I’ve heard some things (...we’ll get into this later) that would lead me to believe that she was meant to be only partially there originally and get to full borgification by the end of the show. Both of them fought with the respective riders they were paired with. Also, both of their mouths are out in their suits! Very cute! 

Speaking of suits, both of them have very silly little suits that I don’t think anyone else in the series could pull off wearing. Imagine if Keisuke transformed into V3 or something. I think I’d cry looking at that. Hayato as Stronger? Man, he doesn’t have the sheer balls for that one. Sorry king…

Which of course leads me to: they’ve both got huge egos. I really don’t need to elaborate on this one, look at the shit the two of them pull… Kazami a little more in the physical department with the stunts he does and Shigeru socially with his cockiness, but you can see the comparison, right? 

And before we go on I think I need to clarify something: Shigeru jumping himself with his bike is very very real. That is actually a scene that happens. Anyway! I adore the way that the show started off and Shigeru and Yuriko had already been through their borg procedures and that the first time we meet them they're already fighting. It's a nice break from tradition! It feels fresh and new! I also think that it's one of the only ways that you could possibly sell how they borged Shigeru in a way that would make sense in a children's show. They gave him electric hands? Like, metal hands that he has to wear gloves over lest he fucking electrocute everyone? There had to have been an adjustment period there but by the time we meet him he's fine with things. I think this was probably the right call; while I love myself some good borg angst and it's interesting to see them adapt to their new lives and Ishinomori back me up here I think you would agree that exploring this idea is fun... for the way that Shigeru is borged specifically I think there's a little too much room for things to go south way too fast. Those two concepts can coexist in my mind. Can you imagine what it would have been like if he had tried to go swimming or something? 

After the first episode we do get a flashback in the second to exactly how Shigeru got borged which was basically:

Shigeru: [walks into Black Satan] hey I want to be on your side I love facism 

Scientists: ok what borgification u want

Shigeru: just fuck me up and make me stronger

Scientist: okay [electric hands]

Shigeru, Stronger: haha fuckin idiot I’m actually here for revenge! you killed my friend and I hate nazis. taste the powers you gave me [explodes them] 

And then he escapes, taking Yuriko (Tackle) with him. From the start he’s really cocky! My remark as I was watching the show was that he really feels like he can do anything because he just doesn’t give a shit about the social implications of anything that he does. Take him just walking into a lighthouse, getting stopped by the guard who works there, patting the guy down and being like “alright, well, you’re not a monster I guess,” and leaving. He’s silly and kind of rude to Tachibana (when he shows up) and has a “Who are you?” “What? Don’t you know who I am?” exchange with all the monsters he meets. He has a whole damn speech he does every time he transforms. It’s so good!

^ HE GOES :D

While this might have set Yuriko up to be the Female Straight Man (which she kind of is for him a little) she’ll rib Tachibana or the two of them will team up and slander a monster together. I love the way they interact… I think it helps them remain on pretty equal footing even though Shigeru is absolutely the primary fighter. He still leaves things to her and trusts her to do them. I don’t think she’s fully borged - she’s never referred to as such and instead gets the term… what’s it in English, electrowave human? So she can do special attacks and such. It kind of feels like a Taki type role but stronger? Not exactly; a lot of Taki’s importance in ‘71 Rider comes from the fact that he is fully human and able to keep up with them to contrast Hongo and Hayato, but Shigeru doesn’t have the same need to connect with his humanity as they do (being borged was his choice, after all) and as such I think Yuriko fits with him much better. If we let Tackle and Taki 1v1 I think Tackle would sweep. 

You see what I mean about Stronger seemingly learning from and refining the previous series? There’s not a way that I can talk about it without contrasting it – I think this is the point where I would stop and say that if you’re thinking about taking on the Grand Prix for yourself in full or in part and would like Stronger to be one of the series you watch to watch whichever of the series come chronologically before this that you are also interested in partaking before starting Stronger. I personally believe that there can be a lot of value in experiencing things in reverse order [<- guy who played the Layton series backwards and loved it] but also… I think that seeing things build up to Stronger as opposed to experiencing Stronger and then going behind the scenes to take a look at the building blocks is the way to go. Nowhere is that more apparently in my opinion than with: 

Hey man, what if the Generals fucked? 

^ he's calling the cops on me for that one

Maybe this was the part of the series I was most excited to talk about. Don’t worry about it. So far I’ve pitched Stronger like a continuation of ‘71 Rider to V3 which I’d say the main cast falls into; there’s not really a lot of the others in Shigeru… but if we’re talking villain generals? We’re talking X, baby. I think that meeting Apollo Geist first is absolutely essential if X is something you’re planning on watching (don’t watch X but like, watch X) so that you can see the fields from which Titan was grown. I have it on anecdotal evidence that doing things non-chrono and going back to watch X and therefore meeting Apollo Geist post Stronger feels a little underwhelming, but meeting Apollo Geist fresh off the heels of V3 feels correct and the ramp up in Stronger comes naturally. All of that to say: we’re back with the sexual tension, but it’s even more nuts this time. 

There’s one scene in X where civvie Apollo Geist shows up at Tachibana’s coffee shop and sits down at the counter to order. He asks where Keisuke is; Tachibana tells him that he’s out, and inquires as to how this man (who has not introduced himself) knows Keisuke. An old friend, perhaps? Apollo Geist shrugs – something like that. It feels like Titan took that scene and decided to build his entire goddamn character around it. 

^ man what the hell was this pick up line

Remember earlier when I mentioned that none of the monsters seem to know who Stronger is? That’s very much true, but Titan absolutely knows. He follows him around and smokes his stupid little cigarettes from his stupid little cigarette holder and just watches him. Titan’s obsessed with this man but whereas with Apollo Geist all the monsters were like “oh fuck yeah, let’s tie up X and drag him back, I’m sure that would make Apollo Geist happy,” it almost seems like Titan wants to keep Stronger for himself and just… doesn’t tell anyone about him. He’s possessive. He’s really intense about it. He is also using X-era techniques which didn’t even end up working against Keisuke to try and get Shigeru, of all people. It’s a fascinating strategy. The two of them follow each other to a concert and just stare at each other across the hall. Titan doesn’t really get his ass kicked, but he knows he’s not strong enough yet for Stronger. He upgrades himself. He fucking goes for it. And Titan… dies.

Well, let’s put a pin in that for a second. In any case, we need a new general, because that’s how these things go. Despite looking like a cross between an anatomical model, an astronaut, and the fucking Joker, Shadow is oddly compelling as a character to me in a way I have absolutely no idea how to describe or talk about? He’s not actually a part of Black Satan – he just kind of heard that Black Satan was fighting Stronger and was like “well shit, I want a piece of that, let me in,” and is just kind of here now. He proclaims so to Shigeru upon meeting him. Shadow really likes to play whatever game he thinks is going on by his own rules and he seems to have a blast doing so. He’s enigmatic, he’s fresh, he’s unlike any general that we’ve had before. His weird secretive nature almost makes him seem more like the leader type than the general type. Shigeru seems to understand that Shadow’s much more of a sinister threat than Titan, but doesn’t really seem to know what to do about it. 

Let me quickly detour you another time just to finish setting up this stage here: throughout my time watching Stronger I was also working on over easy, you know, that Donbros comic I made! Still really like that thing. I know I and others have joked about Tarou being Showa-coded and honestly if you were to pick him up and place him down in a 70’s Rider series I think he’d be right at home; I mentioned up top that Shigeru doesn’t seem to give a shit about societal expectations and while I think that Tarou gives a little more of a shit about the consequences (seems to have less of a grasp on how the implications actually work though) I’m fine putting them in a similar category. Did you know Inoue’s dad worked on Stronger? That’s a fun little fact for you. 

Okay, time to get back to the show. 

Titan gets one funeral (which Shigeru gets invited to in the funniest way, by just Being in a field while this was announced to him somehow) but it was kind of a flop and nobody showed up and they didn’t even manage to use it to capture Stronger, so they decide that he needs another one. It’s at this second funeral that Shigeru finds Titan laying in a casket on a bed of roses (yes, just like Shigeru has all over his outfit) and manages to prick his electric hand on one of them, bleeding like a human, directly onto Titan’s lips, who then revives, licks it, and becomes Hundred-Eyes Titan. Buildup’s over, this is where the mad yaoi really starts. 

You might now be understanding why I brought up Donbrothers earlier; yes, this scene shares really striking similarities with the time that Tarou got the juice sucked out of him at Sonoi’s funeral but even more homoerotic, because it’s actual blood?

Nevermind the actual Showa-era “how human are cyborgs, really” conversation that’s to be had both in the borg angst sense but also about the fact that he can bleed from his what-I’ve-been-presuming-to-be-metal hands. Again, calling back to X, it’s almost like that point after Apollo Geist got resurrected and was going to die unless he took one of X’s parts and put it in his heart, but this actually happened and wasn’t just theoretical. We’re going past where Apollo Geist got to. If first base is fighting the Rider and home base is actually killing them, I think Titan’s made it to second. Uh, but he’s got a problem getting to third. They’ve already brought in his replacement. There’s only one way to fix this one. 

Titan and Shadow Get Divorced 

Titan was kind of a flop in his first life. He’s been powered up a little more with Shigeru’s blood, but Shadow’s also been given Titan’s position pretty recently, and it would be a dick move to fire him. Look, usually the generals don’t come back unless the people they’re working for are the ones bringing them back, and they sure as shit weren’t doing that for Titan. Might as well just make them work it out together? For some reason the Black Satan leader seems to think this will work; really all it does is just instantly sets the two of them at each other's throats, and they begin to fight over Stronger.

They get exceptionally petty about it. Titan shows up, with a rose again, leading Stronger into a minefield, also strewn with roses, just to really rub in the whole “haha, your blood revived me” thing. Shadow at a couple points ends up straight up giving information to Shigeru so that he can get the upper hand on Titan. Shadow (who has a playing card theme, by the way, that’s his whole deal) shows Titan one of the cards that he just did a fortune reading with, and who else appears but Jo Shigeru, dripping wet, in the outline of the spade (cropped with the tail not showing) like he’s being framed in a heart. 

^ the way he looks at that card just takes me the fuck out every time

I feel like I’m losing my mind every time I think about the two of them. Titan staggers up a dune into the good ol’ Toku Desert, dragging himself to Shadow before Shadow kills Stronger so that he can have the pleasure of at least torturing him a little bit before he goes. Shadow pokes fun at Titan for being like “I’ll be the one to kill Stronger!” with a “are you sure you actually can?” and Titan, hand to my heart, blushes. 

Titan staggers up a dune into the good ol’ Toku Desert, dragging himself to Shadow before Shadow kills Stronger so that he can have the pleasure of at least torturing him a little bit before he goes. What the fuck?!

^ DIVORCED BITCHES REALLLLLL

Titan has his own hell! Titan has made his own hell and takes Shadow there to show off his accomplishments in a scene that I can only call “two socialites who desperately need a divorce” in which Titan plays the tired husband who’s got eyes for his secretary (Shigeru) but has to bring his bitch of a wife Shadow with him to work to show off just how much he does for this family while his bitch wife Shadow looks on, unimpressed, and thinks about also fucking his husband’s secretary (still Shigeru) or maybe killing his husband and taking the life insurance money, because there’s no way this plan of his will do anything but collapse down around him, which it does, and Titan once again dies as Stronger throws him back down the crevasse to this pit he’s quite literally dug himself. 

Watching the two of them interact is absolutely fascinating. Titan’s passion for Shigeru seems renewed and completely focused now that he has a rival, Shadow’s ignited something in him, and Shadow seems like he’s having fun playing around messing with Titan while enacting his own plans. Shadow turns out to be superstitious, and bases most of his decisions off readings that he does with his deck of cards, which adds an even more fun element to his character. This is the part of the show where he seems the most… I don’t want to say happy, but how about “in his element.” These are all some really good episodes of television and they’re a blast to watch. 

Black Satan leader susses out that Shadow’s up to some shit (don’t know how that could have happened, it’s not like he’s been telling everyone he meets or anything) and decides to try and bring in another General instead of letting Shadow lead. Shigeru gets captured, defeats the leader, and Shigeru and Yuriko are the FIRST RIDERS IN HISTORY TO CRACK OPEN A COLD ONE WITH TACHIBANA!! 

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL! THE END! 

LET’S GO TO DEMON WORLD! [SHOW END SPOILERS START HERE]

No, things aren’t actually over. This is where you can tell that things got rushed in production as (from what I’ve heard) ratings kind of tanked. Shadow brings in his friends from Demon World (where he lived before?) and decides to start a new army with them called the Delza Army, which he kind of leads. This is what he’s spent his time fighting with Titan and Shigeru and Black Satan secretly working towards - taking over the facilities that Black Satan already had and using them for his own new purpose. And sure, to do this, they need to kill Stronger, yeah. 

In much the same way that Titan and Shadow fought with each other, giving Stronger an edge, the Delza Army part of the show is mostly about these characters showing off their weaknesses through their bickering with each other, but there’s a whole fucking throng of them this time around. They each brought their own themed goons with them, and on multiple occasions the goons even begin fighting with each other while Stronger just kind of looks on in confusion and gets a clean path to the monster he’s actually looking to fight. This being backed by scenes of Shadow (somehow) drinking wine listening to one of his compatriots drone on and on makes it seem like he really misses being on the front lines?

^ look all i'm saying is that it looks like it's 2:55 and he's got another meeting with the guy this dude is bitching about at 3 to hear the other side of this story and he hasn't had lunch yet

The thing about the Delza Army is that it’s absolutely a “too many cooks in the kitchen” situation. Shadow’s brought in a bunch of people with conflicting views and outrageous personalities and different fighting styles who spend half the time using him as HR to work out their interpersonal issues and he just seems… tired. He doesn’t seem like a guy who was cut out for management! This is not a new character type by any means, I could name so many characters who get into a position in their job and realize like “nah, actually, I was way happier where I was,” fucking Jim from The Office does it, but it’s a completely new role for any General and like also, this was what he was working for from the beginning. To finally get here and realize that actually, he doesn’t want this, is kind of weirdly fucked and not at all what I was expecting from this show. All of the characters around him have so much personality and character that they’re completely forgettable because of the oversaturation . They went an oddly adult angle with his character and I can’t tell if it’s at all intentional or if it just happened to turn out this way. I don’t personally think that this part of the show is as good as the part with Titan and Shadow fighting, but I feel like that decrease even more helps support the change in Shadow’s character, so it ends up wrapping around to working.

This is also the part where Yuriko dies. 

There’s not really much that I can say about that one other than the fact that I’ve heard she was supposed to be brought back later as a full rider this time but, because the show had to be cut, isn’t. I have a story in my mind where the rest of the guys – because they all come back at the end, they have to put on one last big show, and they’ve got a lot of science guys there – manage to jump her back to life in much the same way Shigeru did himself and transform her into a full cyborg, like I said earlier, and that she’d fully join the ranks. I know that there was talk of possibly making Taki V3 or even Riderman, which is another reason I compared the two up top. They could have done that without all of the additional angst that it would have caused the '71 cast to borg Taki since Yuriko's already been modified. It would have been so good... I’ll mention this again I’m sure come Skyrider post, but I really liked his little spotted scarf, mostly because it reminds me of Tackle’s suit. It’s like she did get to be with us in a way! 

From there on you get your usual show beats: as mentioned previously, all the previous riders show up which is very fun, they defeat Shadow (who kind of seems relieved to be going out, to be honest) and the rest of the Delza army, and then it’s time to fight the Leader.

^ Tachibana's really silly in this one and but it's the sweetest thing seeing his boys come back to him

The leader this time around is like, I think the quarry come to life? No, but for real: some kind of rock monster that has been pulling the strings of all the different groups that all the different riders have fought. It’s all the same guy behind the scenes. I’ll say it, I kind of appreciated that one as a “no matter what name you put to it, facism is facism” type thing? I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch to interpret it that way. It feels kind of appropriate. The specifics of what they’re fighting change but the root cause and their aim is always the same; though there might be infighting between the groups, Kamen Rider is a show about punching Nazis at its core. 

^ and they all love Tachibana so much!

This is the last time (besides the little special) that we get to have Tachibana on the show. There’s a break between this one and Skyrider and you can absolutely feel it looming in the horizon as everyone rides off again. Despite that, Stronger’s a blast of a show! I think this is one where there are absolutely different ways you could watch it and I just managed to take the path where I ended up probably the most satisfied I could have been during the Delza part since I was just watching the degradation of a man in bureaucracy. Which is always, always fun. 

TO RECAP:

YES fuck yes I recommend Stronger, with the caveat I gave at the beginning that you should probably watch whichever shows chronologically come before this one that you’re interested in watching before you Tackle Stronger. 

Bu dum tss…

[megashadowdragon]

Adam wiped out the blood from his eye as he crawled out of the hole.

Blood. His blood. The first mortal blood in all of existence. And… it was in his eye.

These… these children had actually cut him. Hurt him, and more than once.

Physically, at least.

Spitting out a tooth, he caught sight of his reflection in a pool of sinner blood as he pulled himself up, clear as a cracked mirror, and it was a face (so normal, the sort he knew that no one could ever pick out of a crowd) he had not deigned to really look at in millennia gazed back at him. When had he last taken off his mask?

He felt his fingers dig into the ground as he looked up, looked at all of those who had dared to stand against God's Plan, against these exterminations. Sinners, Hellborn and that fucking princess the serpent's fucking spawn. He saw them, all… glaring at him, over the sound of angels dying.

Glaring. Angry, as if… he was in the wrong here!? AS IF HE WAS THE ONE BEING JUDGED!? He spat out a mouthful of gold blood. "You… don't look at me like that, you… you fucking sinners! At least end this! Kill me! You! You of all creatures don't get to just play the fucking mercy card!"

The spawn shook her head. "We're not going to kill you. Because we're not like you."

The world seemd to crack in the back of Adam's mind, and red flooded his vision. "Are… are you fucking serious right now? YOU!? YOU FUCKING THINGS ARE THE ONES JUDGING ME!?" He swept his bloody gaze over the sinners in the crowd. "NONE OF YOU WOULD EXIST WITHOUT ME! WITHOUT HER! Paradise… was lost! We lost paradise when those fucking serpents that this fucking princess of yours slithered out of… when they whispered in her ear! In my ear! And yet I still loved her, loved all of you, even after that first bite! We lived to let free will live on, when we could have (should have) just offed ourselves the moment Uriel slammed the gate in our faces! Our fault, but we did it out of love once it started rolling and… and then came THIS!"

He swept a bleeding hand out wide over the bloody sky, the Ring of Pride. "THIS IS WHAT YOU ALL CHOSE TO MAKE OF IT! YOU ALL CHOSE, and you keep choosing, over and over again! As above so below! Cannibals, rapists, liars, murderers, warmongers! And… and I'm the bad guy here!? You think I enjoy doing this!? I'm not the monster here! You think I want to keep killing my children, year after year after year!? And only because that fucking, smarmy serpent and his whore ASKED FOR THIS!?"

The spawn's eyes widened, and yet he could not take any satisfaction from even that, that her daddy had neglected to tell her about that little factoid.

Still, she rallied, that FUCKING LOOK back in her red eyes. "Then why are you the one leading this!? If you hate it… then you could just stop."

At that, Adam felt the rage slip out of him, crystalize into something cold. "Because I've gotten a lot of experience when it comes to disowning wayward children, you little freak. This… this is the bed you and all your little friends made. Don't start pointing fingers just because there are suddenly nails in the mattress."

comments toward it

Wr1teAn0n

Wow! Great stuff!

Yeah, Adam learned a long, long time ago that actions have consequences, and it doesn't matter how much you regret them or wish things were different or whine and moan, you have to live with those consequences and carry on. This is a man who lost everything, not only for himself but for every single one of his descendants. Consumed by bitterness and guilt to the point where he can delude himself into thinking his actions against his wayward children are justified, enjoyable even, until confronted with his own misery and he snaps.

I can see it. Obviously, she's the child of his ex and his former 'boss' who conspired to ruin his life, but also the fact that she's so achingly, genuinely wholesome and good despite her heritage, while his son became the first murder victim and his other the first murderer.

I also would think Adam deeply hates Charlie for a number of reasons.

Charlie might even remind Adam of Abel, but in a way that only makes him hate her more.

Also Charlie could have been Adams kid,which has definitely got to sting.

@bottlepiecemuses

[crybaby-bkg]

Week Three, Day Four of Kinktober 2022

Public Sex: Attack on Titan: Eren Jaeger

Word Count: 1.4K

Tags: public sex, car sex, reader is on top/rides, slight exhibitionism/voyeurism

“Eren, are you sure we won’t get caught?” You ask your boyfriend, voice breathy and whispered under the quiet bass blasting through his car. It’s a rainy night, storm clouds rolling through the skies so badly that you two were forced to pull over in some empty grocery store parking lot. You’ve been sitting for entirely too long at this point, and Eren had obviously gotten restless—and handsy. 

“Who the hell is out here in this kinda weather?” He asks against your throat, pressing hurried and wet kisses on your salty skin. You shiver when he nips at your pulse point, sucking on the area before he moves up to bite at your jaw next. You peel your eyes open and look around the parking lot, and despite it being empty, the store’s lights are still on. 

“Um, we are.” You remind him, pulling him back by the tie in his hair so that he can finally look at you. Eren frowns when he’s interrupted, glaring up at you with vibrant green eyes that are almost hidden from his fringe, chocolate brown hair spilling from its bun the more you tug at it. 

“I’ll be quick.” He tries to goad you, diving back in for your neck again, but is stopped when you tug at his hair once more. 

“We could get into serious trouble for this.” You bite at your bottom lip, trying to ignore how he grinds his hips up into your mound from where you sit on his lap in the drivers seat. It’s uncomfortable as hell—one of your knees is digging into the car door, the other digging into something else you don’t even know, but you sure as hell don’t like it, your head practically grazing the roof. 

“Well, that’s all apart of the fun, ain’t it?” Eren asks you with a small smile, head cocked to the side, his hair finally freed from its confinements. You have no control over this little beast in front of you, as he dives in for your mouth to silence anymore of your worried rambles. He pulls you close into him, wraps slender arms around your form and squeezes you hard, mouth engulfing yours. He tastes like some strawberry snack you two shared on the ride home, before having to pull over, all sweet and savory, and it makes you moan into his mouth when he licks at your tongue. Eren can feel how you melt with every kiss, every breath of air you take apart from each other, every whimper when he pulls you back in and bites at your lip. 

He takes that as your sign of giving in, of letting him have his way, even if he has to be quick about it all to keep your worries at bay. He hurriedly starts to unbuckle his belt, watches how quick you are to hike up your loose bottoms until they’re bunched up and your panties are slid to the side with a single finger. 

“You better be quick, damnit, I’m not getting caught with my ass out by some nosy worker.” You try to sound stern, but its hard to when Eren ignores your words to start rubbing his leaking cockhead against your slit and between your folds. He leans forward to spit on his cock, lubricating it as much as he can while he watches your hole start to part for him as he tries to work you open with slow pushes inside. 

“I’ll be quick as can be when you open up for me, baby,” Eren finally mutters when he realizes that its been a few minutes and you’re not even fully sat down on his cock yet. It’s supposed to be a hurried process, but he’s on the thicker side, and you’re not prepped, and he’s not really a fan of seeing you in pain because of him. He wants to bust as much as you do, but he’s not going to rush it and risk hurting you, so he tells you to just deal with it. 

“I’m so gonna beat your fuckin’ ass if we get caught.” You grunt to him under your breath, trying your best to stop squeezing around him as you try to work your hips down, but its hard when he just feels so fat and full inside of you. You finally collapse on his shoulder when you start to feel his curly pubes tickling your ass cheeks, realizing you’re close to finally taking all of him. Mentally saying fuck it, you take a deep breath of his scent before forcing yourself all the way down, groaning at the same time Eren hisses low in your ear. 

“Why the fuck would you—”

“Just hurry up and fuck me, damnit.” You sneer to him, biting at his earlobe to hear him groan and feel his hips stutter beneath you. It makes his cock rub gently against your walls, barely grazing your sweet spot, makes you dig your nails into his old hoodie and hide your face into the curve of his neck and shoulder. 

Eren starts a slow but steady pace, sucking on the skin of your neck as he leans the seat all the way back until it lays as flat as it can, watches how you immediately start to take control to bounce on his cock. You hold onto his shoulders, head down as you watch him from under your lashes, mouth dropped open in a constant moan as you lift and drop your hips as much as you can without tiring too fast. It’s handwork though, and Eren can sense how you slow down steadily, before he starts to pick up where you slack, hips thrusting underneath you to match your pace. 

“What if someone was watching us right now?” Eren suddenly blurts out, eyes darting to where he can barely see over the curve of the window. It makes your hips stutter, your own eyes widening as you watch the devious little smirk crawl up his face. 

“Don’t—Don’t say that, you creep,” you mutter to him, despite how the thought makes you clench down a little harder on his cock, and if it’s from fear or from excitement, you honestly couldn’t tell. 

“What? You like the thought of some old geezer watching you bounce on my cock?” Eren teases, all wide grins now once he sees how much it flusters you. You try to retort back, but its hard when he suddenly has a wet thumb he’s licked on your clit, and starts jackhammering his thick cock inside of you. 

“Like the thought of someone watching you cum all over me? How they get to see just how pretty you look when you orgasm?” You can’t help but cover Eren’s mouth at that with your own, groaning in frustration at just how much you like the sound of someone watching you, getting off on you getting off, of having a hand down their pants as you bounce and bounce all over your favorite cock. 

Even without Eren talking anymore, it still drives you to orgasm, still makes your hips stutter and your cunt clench down tight around him. Eren only throws his head back and groans, grabs at the fat of your ass to chase his own orgasm, uses your body until he can finally shoot ropes and ropes of sticky cum inside of your spasming walls, flood your cunt until it drips from where you’re plugged up. 

It takes you both a few seconds to calm down, panting against each other, before you both realize that the rain has finally stopped, through the fogged windows. You huff, wiping at the windows to see that the lights in the grocery store are still on and that it definitely looks like someone was standing in the window facing your car. Maybe you’re just paranoid, but it makes your hole twitch around Eren’s cock, before you find it in you to crawl off of his lap and situate yourself back in the passengers seat. 

“Okay, we can go home now.” You whisper to him, trying to fix your hair as you guiltily look at the store window again, still finding that same person standing there. Eren catches where you’re looking and snorts, pulling his seat back up and buckling his belt before he puts the car in drive and finally pulls off. 

“Whatever you want, baby.” He says smugly, pinching at your thigh and laughs heartily when you swat at him.