#it’s me i’m the problem

[borderlinebelle]

Someone in my life, someone that pursued a relationship with me, has put up a boundary and chosen to exit my life because I trigger them.

EDIT: Despite what I wrote earlier in the day while emotionally charged (see below…) I’m choosing to believe this decision is what’s best for the other person, so it will be what is best for me.

Sometimes people leave our lives for reasons that have nothing to do with us and everything to do with choosing to care for themselves first… and that’s okay. I’m trying not to internalize and to instead regroup and keeping moving forward in my search for more genuine human connection.

feel the feeling, sit with it, let it go, stretch: grow forward

🧠

Logically I understand this person is doing what they need to do to keep themselves safe but it’s guttting to have it confirmed that I’m the fucking problem.

baby really hurt me, crying in the taxi

he don't wanna know me

says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm

says it was poison

I left this friend on read on Monday while I wrapped up a 20 hour shift that went through the night. It was also my son’s birthday so after working those 20 hours I dragged my bones home to sing my son happy birthday. I fell asleep on the couch and then it was Tuesday and I was rushing to work where I got battered a bit by my inability to get things done on time and so I didn’t respond to him until I was walking into my home Tuesday and … I triggered him. My inability to communicate triggered him and for him it was the last straw.

I had probably triggered him a dozen times before. Too chaotic, too childish, too self absorbed, too scattered, too flighty, too much.

He said he thought he had a problem with alcohol and a problem with our friendship. He never did quit drinking but he sure as fuck quit me.

Too much. Too much. Too much. Between the bpd and the adhd… Always too much.

I thought this person was my friend. I … do not understand why I am so delusional in believing I can make an actual friend but it’s exhausting to keep trying.

People, men in particular, will seek me out looking to fill their needs… she’s so full of life, she’s so funny, she’s so pretty, she’s so wonderful, she’s got such a “good heart”.

I try to be open and kind and honest and myself… I stupidly allow myself to be VULNERABLE…. again and again … and then once they’re done with me, it’s directly to the nearest trash. 🚮

the truth is I am a toy that people enjoy

‘til all of the tricks don't work anymore

and then they are bored of me

i know that it's exciting running through the night, but

every perfect summer's eating me alive until you're gone

better on my own

I’m so toxic he can’t even speak to me anymore. 🙂

Everybody agrees.

Friends communicate. Friends work it out. Friends … TRY. Were you ever really my friend? Why not communicate with me? Maybe we both could have grown… but it’s not even worth the fucking effort. I’m not even worth the effort.

The reality of being the manic pixie dream girl is so fucking lonely and gutteral. It’s being the fucking pretty positive ray of sunshine everyone wants to talk to, but the person no one wants once they get to know.

[runawaymun]

Do you ever just get so caught up in the euphoria of trying to explain how Peredhil work that you wind up late for work?

[the-bi-space-ace]

How is it that I’ve written 11k words in the past five days and yet only one chapter is finished? Explain this to me? Why must words be so many words all of the time?

[milfcodeddean]

Feel like such a traitor bc many of my darling mutuals are bemoaning having assignmence and therefore having limited time for destieliversary whereas I in fact had my students turn in an essay today so I’m busy with grading which like I did self create this problem but I wonder if any of my students are out there mad at their essay bc they’d rather be writing destiel fic

[mafaldaknows]

https://www.gawker.com/celebrity/timothee-chalamet-spittle-landed-on-me-at-china-chalet

Keep defending this asshat, I dare you.

Hello, Anon:

x

So … Jocelyn Silver’s mother keeps a running list of celebrities who have “wronged” her …

Got it.

Maybe Timmy’s not the problem.

Nice try though.

Thanks for your comment. ✨🪞✨

[kingfakey]

love having those “who the fuck blocked m-oh i blocked them who the fuck did i block” moments

[lordbeebrain]

They gotta beard that says “This guy FUCKS (up everything they come across)!” 🥴

[skinnyacidgf]

Where is the post that said something like ”sometimes you’re the villain in somebody else’s story”, I need it.

[erosbites]

Everyone’s in love with the idea of having an enemies to lovers trope with a morally gray sarcastic dark haired guy but have you ever stopped and thought about the fact that you’d break down in tears if anyone said the slightest negative thing to you

[bioshzrd]

this random ass guy who’s entire bit is that he can move like this is the only good wesker fan ever

[mistycreativelilacs]

Chapters: 14/? Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer, Castiel, Crowley (Supernatural), Original Dean Winchester/Original Female Character Child(ren), Original Female Character(s), Gabriel (Supernatural) Additional Tags: Romance, Drama, Angst, Hurt, Abuse, Unplanned Pregnancy, Physical Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Manipulation Summary:

“I’m not saying they don’t exist. What I’m saying is I’ve had enough unanswered prayers and seen enough evil running free in this world to know that even if they existed they sure as fuck don’t give a single shit about Humans or Earth.” I could hear the exhaustion in my own voice.

The more I thought about it, the more what, the angel, said seemed to make sense. Divine intervention would explain the blackouts and the waking up in random places, but why now. Why is this when they decide I need help? Why not when I was little, and being abandoned by the only father I’d ever known? Why not when I witnessed the same thing happen to the Winchester boys the first time John dropped them on Bobby’s doorstep? Why not when my ex-boyfriend was beating me to a pulp every damn day? They didn’t care about me or my safety then, so why should I care about what they want now.

[yaolmao]

simp

[xoxod3adcup1d]

Why?

[the-bi-space-ace]

I JUST GOT THE CUTEST IDEA FOR A LITTLE FIC AND I NEED TO SCREAM IT’S SO FLUFFY I MIGHT ACTUALLY CRY REAL TEARS

ok that’s all move along

[moonof79]

hot girls write the most unimaginable horrors in their cute little journals

[tutuandscoot]

People who are prone to be easily offended and emotionally compromised over tiny things really shouldn’t be allowed to have tumblr or Twitter accounts coz it’s just way too tempting to air grievances on here.