#it’s why I take request too cause like I will just forget to write stuff

[keen-li]

Merry!Ex-mas.

18+ MDNI

22.k words synopsis: you get a notification about plane tickets you purchased about a trip you were excited for, only reason you're not excited at the remainder, is because you had planned the trip with your now ex. At the time you never thought you'd be spending December broken up. So, it felt like a great idea. not so much now. ex!jk x ex!femreader (fem anatomy.) exes to lovers use of 'yn' warnings: angst, fluff, smut: long-distance relationship, exes, second chance, miscommunication, b*tches is awkward, tension, one bed, forced proximity, Jungkook isn't crazy rich but he's got good money, i think he's an accountant, jk has that short ceo hair cut. reader has communication problem, jungkook's freaking green sweater needs it's own fanfic!, think are!you!sure jungkook. protective!jk, there's a creep who approaches reader as jungkook is off skiing, and whilst she's in the sauna(nothing bad happens.), sweet!wants!to!try!jk, jk has issues of not communicating too. they just can't seem to talk. avoiding stuff. teasing. touchy!jk, secret glances. jealousy, reader is very jealous,they're lying to themsleves, jungkook loves to take pictures especially of reader. hot tub jungkook who's looking up at you like you're a goddes. very needy kissing, boob sucking, dirty talking, oral(f!receiving.), handjob, cowgirl, protected!penetration, aftercare. hand kissing. [i don't know what else i need to add, let me know] as per usual, it was edited but if there are any errors, forgive me. A/N: this fic is honestly cause of that Jungkook green sweater I've never travelled to please don't come at me if anything is wrong. I very much world built some things. I've given written from top to bottom so don't except a part 2, unless maybe drabble requests. I wrote this in one week and i'm so proud i was able to write 22k words, in that time. though i was supposed to go up on the 25th[shhhhhh] A/N: i'm still learning how to write smut. so if you think the smut is cringe please don't tell me :) i don't wanna know. unless you want to help me improve it, and you do it kindly, i'd appreciate. likes, reblog, and all positive asks and comments are always appreciated. i hope you're happy with this one. [read under the cut]

You get the notification as you're scrolling through your phone. A remainder of sorts that you had been forgetting something. Cause you had been.

It loomed over you all week. The lingering feeling of remembering what you can’t. You hated it. But now that you know it’s source you couldn’t feel any worse.

Being the recipient of the message, you’re burdened with having to translate the message. Why do you have to do this? Broken up, having to text him feels like opening a can of worms. But the tickets are non-refundable, and it would be unfair for you to not inform him. You did both pay for them, Jungkook of course paying more because he was just too stubborn to split. he'd actually wanted to pay for the full thing but you were at odds with the idea. he settled eventually.

So, it would be unfair to not tell him. Right? Yes. But you don’t want to believe it.

Even if how the hell are you going to remind your ex about the holiday trip you planned thinking you’d be together for; but in turn would celebrate separately. Before the notification of the trip.

To add on, now you have to open your chat. An action you dread to do; for your emotional health.

What are you actually going to say? You think, finger hovering over the keyboard. Something that won’t make you sound like you’ve missed him, were thinking about him or even thinking about going on this trip with him. All which you’ve been doing. You’ve succumb to the thoughts, only because you two broke up in October, still relatively early to just forget a 3-year relationship with someone you thought you’d marry.

Sigh.

You still haven’t answered the question of how you’re even gonna bring it up. Will he even answer?

“shibal” jimin laughs into the speaker, not helping you one bit. “you two are ridiculous.”

You roll your eyes still waiting and hoping he’ll say something sensible. It’s all in vain. “How the hell do you book a trip and break up just before. You couldn’t wait?” He laughs and you just know he’s sat at his computer playing games, from his loud and unfocused speech.

“We didn’t freaking know we’d breakup.” You justify. “Plus, cause of the breakup we forgot. I forgot.” Your voice loses its strength at the end of the sentence, your mind slipping into a deep thought.

You haven’t been able to remember anything of relevance since that day. Maybe only how to breath and live but you’d say your body takes full credit for that.

“Hmm.” is all he says to you before screaming obscenities to someone in his game.

“Jimin are you gonna be of any help or wh-”

“You know what you should do?”

You want to believe his following statement will be of use, but you can never be certain.

“Just send it” he groans from what you assume is an attack on him. Your brow raises. “Send him a screenshot of the notification. If he doesn’t respond go on it on your own.”

“Or take me with you” he whispers. If it came to it, would you even choose jimin to go with? Probably. He’d help make it fun.

You sigh, still in the darkest of analysis. It’s your best option what else could you say. So, you say your goodbye to jimin who is quick to go off to his game, without a second thought. Rude. Talking to him whilst he’s on his game is setting yourself up.

Back to having a staring contest with your phone. And after a long while of panic, thump fidgeting and dry eyes, you click on his contact (yes you still have it.) and just send the screenshot.

As you wait to make sure the picture is sent you catch a glimpse of the last text from your chat. You were avoiding slipping up and seeing it, but your eyes couldn’t be helped.

Jungkook was the last to text.

Kookie<3: I miss you call me back.

Seeing the text makes your stomach churn. Makes your head spin with all the memories and emotions returning. You don’t want to linger on it. You’re quick to just sending the screenshot like jimin said, you only hope he doesn’t ask too many questions. If he does respond. The little thought in your head surfaces. What if he wants nothing to do with you. What if you’re bothering him? You shouldn’t have sent that text. But it’s too late now.

You’re well aware his message was sent before you had broken up. The only reason you hadn’t replied was because you couldn’t. On the same day you’d called him back and told him how you didn’t think you’d be able to do it anymore.

“Mm?” he hums confused. You can hear it in his voice and it only makes you even more nervous to repeat.

“This long-distance thing isn’t working for us jungkook.” You bite you lower lip hoping to hide some of your emotions that threaten to ruin your speech. Your fingers fidget in the silence waiting for his response. But it never comes and for a moment you think he’s cut the call and you’ve been talking to yourself. That’s when he sighs, showing you, he’s been listening but too shocked to speak.

You calling his full name, no nickname, strains at his heart. “Are you serious?” it’s calm, sad even. Of course he’s sad, you’re breaking up with him. Sad isn’t even strong enough to describe what he’s feeling. Shock is just amongst them, maybe even a little anger. You’ve been going through a challenging period because of the difference in cities. But he never thought it’d come to this. Was it that bad?

“Yeah.” It’s weak defeated. You are, your whole relationship is.

Jungkook is awfully silent, he’s not sure why either. “Is there anything I can do?” he’s aware of the only solution available. But it’s not possible. Neither of your work will allow the other to move.

You shake your head like he can see it. but he doesn’t need to see what your silence has already said.

After not much thought cause he’s not able to, he speaks. “Is this what you want?” his question only serves to add to your confusion.

“You know it’s not but- “you try to speak but the lump in your throat chokes you.

It hurts him that this is happening over a call. Wishes he could’ve spoken about it in person, cause there’s more to it.

More that you haven’t spoken about. Never have, and doubt you ever will or want to.

All this just makes the idea of this trip even more worrying. That’s if he’ll want to go or even respond. You never got to know what he thought but you assume he has some sort of resentment for the way you ended things. You would too. That’s one of the things you feel guilty for.

You’ll say the way things ended was not ideal, and honestly it never made you feel good as you thought it would. It made you feel worse actually. But at least now you don’t argue because you don’t talk. Who are you kidding, you miss the arguments, something to remind he was there.

Guilt hovers but, you console yourself by saying that he probably wanted it too if he didn’t try to fight for it. Which is unfair, but what else can you tell yourself as an excuse.

Your focus is now on your screen. You’re about to exit the chat, but then those familiar popups of bubbles appear. Already?

The bubbles disappear and appear, which only serves to grow your anxiety. Is he about to rebuke you for texting him. Gosh, what the hell would you say after that? He’s about to cuss you out. Suddenly your room feels too small to hold you and what you’re feeling.

But what pops up is even more anxiety inducing.

Kookie<3: I’m in town. We should meet and talk tomorrow.

Why does he sound so professional? Why do you care. Oh- your mind, it’s spinning.

He’s in town, when? Why didn’t he tell you. This would be the first time you see him in a year since he moved. And he couldn’t even just tell you he was in town. The reason to him being here is not unknown to you. It’s the Christmas season and his parents do live in the same city as you. And just like you they were not happy about they’re son moving so far away. But nothing was stopping jungkook. Nothing.

You’re probably not important to him anymore but, couldn’t he have just said, hi. I’m in town. How long has he even been here for? You never thought he’d return to the city even for the holidays.

You shake the thoughts out of your head. You can’t be over thinking this.

We?......meet?.....talk?.....TOMORROW!              

Tomorrow couldn’t come any faster (not that you were excited for it.). It’s almost as though it wants you and jungkook to meet.

You both agreed to meet at one of the small restaurants near your place. One you two frequented together, so it holds so much for you. Which only made you more anxious on your way.

When you walked in your eyes unconsciously moved to the table you and jungkook loved to seat at. It was good distance from the kitchen so your food could reach you quicker, and far from others so that jungkook could lean in and say the nastiest thing on earth. It always made you blush even though you’d swat at him. You spot jungkook sat where he usually sat. Coat taken off and hanged on his chair.

 “Hey.” You choke out smiling politely as you reach the table and take off your coat, the inside of the restaurant too warm to be comfortable with it on.

You take a sit and allow your body to get accustomed to the environment. And jungkook.

He’s quick to respond to your greeting just as awkward.

When you’re settled you finally get a chance to see just how much he’s changed in a year. The warm light from the ceiling softens his features which would normally be sharp in the dim lights of your bedroom. His hair is cut short. Last time you saw him it was neck length, but now it’s significantly short. Makes him look professional, mature. You like it, really like it. you wish you could just reach over and touch it, it’d probably be just as soft as you remember it and smell like lavender. You notice how he has it styled and gelled back so you doubt he’d be happy with you running your hands in it.

Jungkook spent an ungodly amount of time trying to get it to look like this, which he doesn’t think is perfect enough, but he was running out of time. Something about this meeting had him wanting to go out. He just hopes you like it. he remembers you last saw it when it was longer. It was a big cut, but after your breakup, he felt like giving up the length, considering your hands loved to live in his hair.

You sit hand in lap waiting for your mouth to catch up with how fast your brain is working. Though if you did speak what your brain was thinking, you’d embarrass yourself.

“We should order first.” He says rolling up the sleeves of his navy-blue denim shirt. The action reminding of the inks on his arm. A detail that adds to how attractive he is already. You’re really hating yourself for your thoughts. In your defence you haven’t seen him in the flesh for a year. “What do you wanna get?” he picks up his menu and you do too, stuttering in your movement. He seems calmer than you right now.

But the only thing is that he’s shitting himself inside. when he was sat before you came, his heart dropped every time he heard the door bells chime. Every time he turned it wasn’t you. Only increasing his nervousness. Maybe he was a little to forward with his message. You haven’t seen each other in a while and it’d probably be overwhelming, especially with a certain elephant in the room. He would’ve definitely understood if you didn’t want to show. On the chime of the door that followed his thoughts, he didn’t turn, only for it to be you. In your full glory, making him fidget with his phone more. Which he put aside immediately you sat down.

Clearing your throat you speak, “something soup-y. Today’s a little cold.” And you don’t feel like throwing up what you eat.

Jungkook agrees and his red nose is evidence of that. Cute, you think.

After your orders are taken you turn back to silence. What could you probably say right now? You can feel the distance between you emotionally. And you hate how this is how you are after not seeing each other for a year. Before breaking up you thought of the many ways, you’d hug him once you got to see him. You were definitely delusional over how serious your distance was. Really wanting to believe it wouldn’t be a problem; until it became one, and you just couldn’t do it anymore.

You don’t know how to behave right now.

“So, when did you get back?” you settle on a soft and casual tone.

“Just yesterday.” He speaks sounding a little hesitant. After not knowing where to look you decide to just look at one thing. The table.

After beats of silence, you continue. Can your food come any faster? “you’re staying with your parents?”

“Yeah.”

You lived together, in your used to be shared apartment before he decided to move. So, his only option was to live with his parents for the mean time. He assumed you wouldn’t want or even let him live with you. And it would be fair, you aren’t together anymore.

“I’m Sure they were shocked to see how much you’ve change.” Cause you are. You haven’t seen his parents in the same time that he hasn’t seen them.

“It was a surprise drop in so I’m sure they were” he says with weak chuckle. He bites into his lip before he’s looking at you again, but you don’t stare at him. It’s only when you realize his stare that you finally face him. “How have you been? You look well.” He’s dreading himself right now for not being able to speak to someone who has been, for 3 years, the only person he could speak to.

You do look good, and he can’t take his mind off it. the camera has not been doing you justice. Your skin looks brighter and you generally are just glowing. Gosh he missed looking at you. The way small dainty jewellery serves to compliment your outfit. Your hair done in a way you like, and he loves.

“I try.” You smile. Every chance you get you take a glace at his lip piercing. You’d forgotten just how it made him even the more--. “You look well too. How’s the job going?”

He sucks in a breath, showing visible stress at the thought of his job. “it’s going okay. Easiest way to put it.” he chuckles, awkwardly. You smile, awkwardly too. “I missed it here though, so much stuff I left behind.”

You just hum, nodding. Avoiding how his eyes glancing over you, just for a second as he was looking for where to keep his gaze whilst speaking.

“But I’m sure you’re having fun that side.” That side. He can hear the strength you put on the words. Instead of fiddling on your lap you decide to fold your arms on your chest. Finding it appropriate for the feelings that are sneaking in.

“You can say that, but there’s just something that feels empty y’know.” You do know, but you both choose to leave the conversation implicit.

And right on time, your food arrives saving you from saying anything. What the heck would you say when you can’t even think.

You two are soon digging into your food. Jungkook in his kimchi jjigae and you in yours.

“I missed this- mmm.” He hums making that little angry face he makes when he likes food. You laugh, a little to loud at that causing him to look up at you. You drop your smile.

“Mrs Kim always asks me about you when I come here.” 6 slices of chopped spring onion garnish you haven’t eaten, yet.

He leans back in his chair, unintentionally watching you eat.

He turns his head towards the kitchen where the lady in question usually spends her time. “Where is she anyways?” he’s back to digging into his food. the steam from the food warming his cold nose.

“she’s visiting sung Hoon in the US.” You inform him, taking in how relaxed you’ve become.

He nods at the info, “Ahh- she finally got to got to the US?” he smiles. He remembers how she would come to the table; she’d complain that her son doesn’t want her to visit, which was not the case. But being the dramatic lady she is, she would think that. “ ’m sure she was so excited.”

“no one could hear the end of it.”

He chuckles and you find yourself laughing too. But as much as you’re seemingly getting comfortable (though not wholly.) silence finds a way to wrap it’s long, cold and slimy finger around you two.

After you’re done eating your meals in silence, jungkook thinks it’s time to discuss the reason you’re even meeting. Cause you have nothing more to talk about.

“what’s the plan for the trip?” he shifts in his seat. “Assuming you’d want to go.” He doubts.

You take a deep breath before speaking, looking over at the whole scene of the restaurant. “I don’t know, we’d leave on Thursday. Assuming you’d want to go too.” You would want to go, that’s why you booked the trip. It’s only your situation that makes it awkward.

“Do you?” his question comes out fast and sudden and he regrets how quick it came out.

“Mm?” you mutter like you couldn’t hear what he said.

He clarifies choosing to speak more calmly and composed. “Do you want to go?”

The question takes you aback as though you hadn’t been asking yourself the same thing.

Reaching to play with the little gem on your necklace you stutter out. “I-I mean- yeah we spent money on it.” you shrug your shoulders as if you’re unconsciously saying otherwise, but really, you’re just trying to keep your statement open. In case he doesn’t want to go, and you’re left embarrassed with an extra ticket.

Jungkook instead takes your action as you probably not wanting to go. “I get it if you don’t. It’s a weird situation.” His hands move to touching his hair.

You trying to jump in but end up speaking a little too fast. “No, I do. Plus, I hate wasting money.” You do hate wasting money, truly. And it is just that and the fact that you would love a trip right now, to de-stress.

“But do you want to go with me?” that churning feeling in your stomach is returning, and you’ve just eaten which makes it all the much better.

Biting down on your lip and releasing it you say, “I mean I wouldn’t want to go on my own.” You hate how you feel your throat choking up. “Who else would I go with?” you awkwardly joke. There are some people you’d go with. But you planned this trip with jungkook and he paid the much for the tickets. So, it’s only fair to go with him. If he wants to.

He skips your question, not in bad taste. it’d be weird for you to go on a trip you planned with him with someone else. Maybe he did think of it, that maybe you’d enjoy it more if you weren’t with him. But then he thought it through. Shit doesn’t have to be awkward unless you both make it. so, you can enjoy this trip if you just agree to enjoy it. “I don’t mind going with you, but I don’t want you to feel forced to have me there.”

“I have no problem with you, jungkook.” You saying his name even though it’s not the pet name he enjoys feels like a warm touch to him. “I just want to know if you wanna go.” You find it in you to ask.

“I don’t mind it at all.” He says, relieving you of your fears.

He sighs. After he silence speaks. “I can’t believe I forgot about it. I was so excited for it too.” he reminiscing on the day. It was such a good idea. Is a good idea, if you just agree to enjoy it.

“So? It’s settled right?“ You sit up grabbing your stuff and preparing to leave. Jungkook’s smile falls realizing that the moment is ending. But he will see you soon still.

“Yeah.” He prepares to leave too.

“We leave Thursday, I guess. We’ll stay in touch.”

And that’s it, your conversation ends with you managing to avoid the larger topic at hand. It’s like a game.

You throw your clothes in haphazardly. You’re in a panic, which is not necessary cause you have enough time, the whole day to be precise. Your flight’s tomorrow. But the whole airport thing has always found a way to make you panic.

You grab some essentials, but in frustration. Maybe you just want to get it over with. The packing, not the trip. Honestly it feels like it’s already started. Is this how you’re going to be.

As you search through your closet you land on a sweater, one you remember too well. It’s green colour and fluffy soft texture makes it the warmest thing you own. A very memorable sweater, for the warmth it brought you and its origin. You can still smell him on it. You dread packing it and resort to shoving it further in your closet. You’ll think about it.

You stare at your zipped up suitcase for a bit before your eyes gloss over to your phone that buzzes on your bed. For a split second you wonder if it’s jungkook. Could he have changed his mind. you sigh relived when you see it’s just jimin.

Who chooses to say nothing of value and just tease you. “Honestly why do I tell him these things.” You throw your phone on your bed.

Jungkook stands over his already packed suitcase. He just has to zip it closed and seal this trip. He sighs rubbing his lower lip. Before you two broke up he had so much planned for this trip. So much he wanted to say and do. But it's different now and it’d be weird and wrong to say those things. Not before talking of course.

Is he looking forward to this trip? Yes-wait- maybe. The trip in itself is fine, a great and good idea and opportunity to enjoy a holiday and relax. But your presence entails something more something he has to deal with (in a responsible and good way) and that he's been running away from.

 "You're excited huh?" his mother smiles leaning against his door frame, watching. He's not sure what about his facial expression, body language or general demeanour would make her think that he's excited. It’s not like he’s dreading or regretting it. it’s more like excitement is the last thing he’s feeling cause of all he’s thinking of.

He doesn't say anything before she's speaking again.

"You need this trip. you've been so busy." He has. Too much at that. So much that he forgot you two had even broken up and was about to go to your place first when he arrived. He’d been so excited to surprise you, then it dawned on him. His tires were quick to turning. His thoughts are cut short by his mother. "it'll help you spend more time with yn."

"I guess." he replies unenthusiastically. Though it’s the same idea they’re both thinking of it in a different context. Something that his mother doesn’t know yet.

He doesn't stare at where she stands only at his suitcase analysing what he's packed and what the heck is actually going on. "Plus, it would be a perfect place to propose." She enthuses, joyous at the thought. He seems to have slightly forgotten about that detail too.

 When you were planning the trip, he made a plan to propose to you on it. It honestly is the perfect place to and he felt like it was the right time. Of course, you'd be arguing but it wasn't something that was holding back your relationship. Plus, he thought you'd talked it out well enough. So, he spent his free time after planning the trip, shopping for rings and looking proposal ideas and even asked some of his colleagues for advice. It’d be a trip where you got to spend some time after being away for so long.

But that's when you called and honestly kicked him in the balls. Too confused he just went along with it.

"Switzerland is such a good choice, you kids are so good at these things." She says probably imaging herself there too.  It’s not long before his eyes are staring at the black velvet box on his dressing table, and his head is spinning all over again. He knows how excited she gets about this and she won’t stop. “You could take a walk and then pull out the Ring with those mountains in the back and-"

"Eomma!" His deep voice stops her, not harshly but whiny. Not telling his parents about the breakup is honestly the most overwhelming thing because of how his mother adores you and finds a way to bring you up in every conversation. she could go on but the tired look on her son's face makes her stop. She wants to pry on why he looks more drained that ecstatic but she chooses against it.

”Is something wrong?”

He realizes just how carried away he’s getting with his emotions. He shakes his head. “no. I’m just stressed.” He finally looks up at her to give a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes but she returns.

"Sorry, you know how I get carried away. I'm sure you have your own plan let me not stress you."

She leaves and he sighs

No. He has no plan of his own. He has no plan at all.

Your suitcase handle is firmly clutched into your hand as you walk into the airport.

Your eyes scan the crowd. Every face. Each bag too, because you know which one he'd probably be carrying with him. Seeing it again is gonna be triggering cause the last time you saw it was the last time you saw him off.

You and jungkook agreed to come separately and since his parents lived closer to the airport he'd be here first and wait for you by security. But now that you're there you can't see him. Maybe he's a little late but why wouldn't he tell you.

You told him you had just arrived but he hasn't even seen that message. Has he changed his mind? is the first thing that pops up in your head. If he has that's a shitty way to do it. Just ghost you?

So, you pull out your phone to call him. “Pick up." You mutter under your breath.

No answer.

You feel stupid. It honestly feels like you're on a Lifetime show or even worse TLC.

Your annoyance bubbles over as you glance around the busy security area. "Where is he?" you ask yourself.

 Though you think he has, you doubt jungkook would just ghost you. It's not what you know him to be. You tap your foot impatiently and try to call him again. Still nothing. Your heart finally relaxes when you spot him already walking to you. "Seriously?" You say a little upset when he finally reaches. "Why didn't you answer your phone?"

"Oh. I didn't hear it." He says pulling it out of his pocket. "Must be on silent. I’m sorry." He looks at you genuinely so. And you can’t bring yourself to be as mad as you want to be. It’s not a big deal, he’s here now.

“it’s okay, we should get going, we’re almost late.” You say frustrated with how traffic delayed your arrival. Jungkook just hums agreeing and surprising you by taking you suitcase. You’d tell him it’s fine and you can manage but he’s already walking ahead of you. Probably not wanting to hear it.

A tense silence stretches between you two as you wait to board your plane. Sitting side by side has never felt so awkward, like the space between you is miles wide. You scroll through your phone, pretending to be so into it. You don’t notice Jungkook stealing occasional glances at you. Or rather, at the sweater you’re wearing—the one he gave you (more like you took.) just before he moved to another town. The green complimenting your skin. He loves how it just melts to fit you. He’s glad to know that you’re warm, he’s aware of how incredibly warm it is.

He wonders if you’re wearing it deliberately, or if it’s just because it’s the warmest thing you own, and today’s even colder than yesterday. Probably no meaning behind it. At least, that’s what he tells himself. Though it’s not enough to stop him from developing a smile on his face, one he covers with his hand.

The low hum of voices and the faint crackle of the airport announcements fill the silence. Someone walks past, dragging a squeaky suitcase, the airport noises the only thing between the two of you.

“I know this is awkward.” He starts randomly, at first doubting he was talking to you but then you move your attention to him, when you realize it’s only you he can be talking to. It’s not like you were looking at anything on your phone. “I want us to enjoy it. I want you to enjoy it.”

“I want you to enjoy it too.” You find yourself speaking before your brain can process.

He smiles and turns to meet your eyes. All of a sudden, he feels so close. “So can we just pretend.” His eyes don’t move, if possible, they stare even deeper into yours. Yours don’t move as well. “Pretend like everything’s okay.” He speaks low as if he doesn’t want others around to hear. “Agree?”

You haven’t said much, instead just let him speak. “Agreed.”

You don’t mind pretending. You’ve been pretending you’re okay all this time, so why can’t you do it now.

-

You watch Jungkook sliding the bags into the overhead storage above your seats. He notices you approaching and nods for you to have the window seat.

“You sure?” you ask only because he called dibs when you planned the trip that he’d be getting the window seat.

He nods. “Yeah. I know you like it more than I do.” You do. He only called dibs because he was trying to ‘one up’ you like everything’s a game.

You squeeze passed him get comfortable in your seat and he’s soon sitting next to you. You’re glad it’s just two seats.

You sit in silence for most of the flight, each pretending to be too absorbed in your own activities to notice the other. Jungkook watches you out of the corner of his eye as you scroll through your phone, then switch to reading a book. This trip can’t be that bad, you tell yourself. Of course, you two haven’t talked about your breakup, but it doesn’t have to come up. You’ll just enjoy the weekend and go back to normal, like he said—pretend---if either of you even knows what that means.

What are the boundaries of pretending.

At some point, you shift in your seat, leaning against him, your head resting on his shoulder. You’re asleep, of course, but Jungkook glances down at you, momentarily startled. He considers waking you but decides against it. Instead, he leans back slightly, letting you stay there.

As the plane hums softly and moves through the sky, Jungkook can’t help but wonder if this trip could be his chance to fix things. How does he want it to happen? Does he even know? All he knows it that you do eventually have to talk about things. Do you even want to talk about it, because you seem to be avoiding it.

But there’s only so much avoiding you can do.

As soon as the plane lands, you stretch in your seat, surprised you managed to sleep for that long. Glancing at Jungkook, you watch as he pulls the luggage from the overhead bin. He looks like he didn’t get any sleep at all, you had been sleeping on his shoulder for most of the time. You exchange a brief look—just acknowledging each other and your present moment—before heading off the plane

The crisp Swiss air hits you as you step outside the terminal, and you follow Jungkook as he gets into a cab and it drives confidently toward a car rental area, which you’re confused about but don’t ask. Jungkook picks up keys from the reception and you walk through the parkin lot looking for what you don’t know. You’re just following. You stare at him puzzled as he dangles the keys. He’s been quiet, and you hadn’t even expected to rent a car. Public transport seemed like the plan, but now that you think about it, you remember how Jungkook feels about it.

“You rented a car?” you raise a brow.

He nods, “yeah, it’d be easier. Thought you’d approve.”

He catches a glance of your face, like you’re trying to figure something out, but can’t.

“Hmm.” You only hum.

“You look cute when you’re confused”.  He takes you by surprise. “Come on.” He says walking and not letting you process his words. You just try to shake them out of your head.

You don’t admit it, but you're impressed. He thought ahead. And you’re honestly glad he did—something you feel he’s been lacking the past year.

Once he’s done packing the luggage into the car, he closes the trunk and slides into the driver’s seat. You’re not sure why you’re shocked to find out it’s a Mercedes-benz g63 amg. You’d always known he had an obsession with luxury cars, especially ones like this. The fact that his job pays so well certainly helps, you guess moving out of town must’ve been worth it.

The car is great-- so comfortable, and the heater works perfectly, keeping you warm against the cold.

As Jungkook adjusts the mirrors, you scroll through your contacts, trying to figure out what to call the person you booked the cabin with, “what do I call them a host?” You mutter under your breath before dialling the number.

Jungkook glances at you as you speak to the host in quick tones. "Got it, thanks," you say, giving a quick wave of your phone toward Jungkook. With the directions noted you can now get to moving.

"Okay, so we head north, then take-“

“North?" Jungkook interrupts, starting the engine. "Are you sure it's not west or whatever?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You glare at him. He glances at one map and thinks he knows his way around Switzerland.

"I just talked to the guy," you say flatly.

Jungkook smirks, recalling a past trip. "Remember last time we travelled, and we ended up on a dead-end street?" he says with a cheeky smile on his face. he’s teasing you.

You roll your eyes at the memory. You had been driving through the outskirts, and your GPS got wonky, causing you to go down a deserted road.

“If you’d listened to me, we wouldn’t have gotten lost,” you reply.

You stop bickering, finally following the GPS. Jungkook decides to follow the directions, and the tension eases as you leave the city behind.

The atmosphere shifts, replaced by a sense of awe at the breathtaking scenery. Low-capped mountains stretch into the horizon, Swiss chalets dot the landscape, and the sun reflects off the lakes. You’re glad you arrived during the day; cause nighttime would not have done the view justice.

You watch out the window, your voice filled with awe. "Oh my gosh, it's so beautiful." Jungkook glances at your direction before returning his attention to the road. "Yeah, it is," he agrees, equally mesmerized by the view.

"Can you grab my camera from the back?" he askes. Recalling his passion for photography, you can’t be surprised he has it with him.

You pull out the camera from his bag, noticing it’s larger and more expensive looking than the one you had gifted him. "Do you still have your other one?" you’re curious.

He knows what you’re hinting to. "It fell in water during a fishing trip with my team, but I'm getting it fixed."

“Do you still have the pictures.” You’d hate to lose them, even though they are null and void now, you still like how happy you looked in them.

“Yeah. They’re in my SD.” He informs you and you’re glad.

You fumble with the new camera, struggling to operate its buttons, he notices. "There's a button just there," he directs. Though you aren’t much of a photographer, you manage to snap some decent shots of the scene. You take a lot to make sure you have options.

Feeling playful, you turn the camera to jungkook and snap a pic of him. You had always admired his model-like features and often joked he should pursue modelling instead of his current path, which kept him 218 miles away. But now you realize modelling would only take him even farther.

He never agreed to the idea but never argued either. He preferred to appreciate beauty rather than be the centre of attention.

"Did you just take a picture of me?" he asks, a hint of surprise in his voice.

"Yeah, just one," you reply.

He doesn’t respond, leaving you to wonder what he’s thinking. Is he upset? Did you cross a pretending line?

"Wanna stop and take pictures," he grins, "y’know for your Instagram."

It’s not a bad idea, but you don’t want to be late and have the host waiting for too long.

"We won't be long." he looks over to see if you’re considering. He smiles when sees that you are. You don't post much on Instagram, and he knows that. But it wouldn't hurt to have some pictures from this trip.

"Let's be quick," you accept.

He pulls over to the side of the road and when you’re out he’s approaching you to take the camera. "Let me take some of you first," you insist. He isn’t so keen on it though.

"Just a few," you whine dodging him trying to take it from your hands.

"We're supposed to be quick." He reminds you. "And you know I'm not a fan of pictures of me."

 You not wanting to bicker. You hand it over to him. "But I will take pictures of you eventually," it’s a promise.

You quickly get posing on a spot you like, and he snaps several pictures. Some you were prepared for, while others were candid of you looking up a bird flying over, like you’ve never seen a bird before. or just in awe of the scene behind. Why do the birds seem so majestic here?

Jungkook smiles as he continues to take photos, forgetting the time. "I think that's enough. We're going to be late," you say, running out of poses to do.

You start walking to the car and he snaps one more picture of the scene before getting back and starting the car.  Whilst adjusting to the warmth he hands you the camera.

"These are so pretty," you bulge your eyes out at how good jungkook is at taking pictures. You can definitely see the difference. Jungkook can’t help but feel a sense of pride. You scroll through the camera, admiring more pictures.

Then you scroll a little too far and notice a series of photos featuring a friend—someone he seems to be close to. In one, she leans on his shoulder, a gesture that causes some type of discomfort or irritation. You couldn’t be sure, you’re too busy scrolling. She smiles too hard, you judge.

gosh you're pathetic. Why are you acting like this. The man is not your boyfriend he can do whatever. The statement causes an unwanted sour taste to form over your taste buds.

You continue to scroll, analysing the photos, each one deepening your insecurities.

"Careful, you're gonna damage the buttons," Jungkook jokes when he notices your rushed movement. He wonders what has you that way.

When he speaks, you’re brought back to reality. Though you’re brought back with an attitude. You switch off the device and lay it back where you found it, sitting back down with a scowl on your face and jungkook wonders the cause.

You had been fine just a moment ago. He doesn’t say anything and focuses fully on the road ahead. The silent drive to the cabin feels anything but aesthetic.

You sigh as the car slows, leaving behind the snow-covered path. When you approach the cabin, it’s instantly recognizable from the photo. At least you weren’t lost or scammed. The place looks serene. It’s blanketed in snow. It’s not like those huge family ones. It’s small just to fit you and jungkook. You’d have no money to buy anything or activities if you booked those larger ones. And they’re unnecessary cause it’s just the two of you.

Jungkook parks the car, and as you both step out, the awkwardness that’s shadowed the trip returns. It had been there from the beginning, lingering beneath exchanges and strained silences. Brief moments, like taking pictures earlier, had been relieving, but even that had soured quickly. Now, neither of you had much to say.

The cabin’s host, a kind older man with a thick Swiss accent, greets you warmly, showing you around the cozy interior and pointing out the back patio before leaving. Once alone, you both quietly bring in the luggage. The silence is deafening, broken only by the crunch of snow you step on.

Due to your irritation that some how still lingered you step a little too hard on the icy ground, and in an instant, your foot slips. You land awkwardly in a mix of snow and dirt, the impact cushioned but still hurting.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook calls, his voice tinged with concern and amusement. He’d drop the luggage to come check on you if you hadn’t brushed him away with your hand.

Still irritated, now cause of the fall, you dust yourself off and move yourself inside. You drop the luggage in bedroom and start taking off your sweater, only to have Jungkook walk in moments later.

“One bed,” he states, looking at the large, centred piece of furniture. “Looks comfy.” You seem to have forgotten the cabin was lover’s themed, so it did only have one bed. The host had asked you if it was a problem when he saw the look on your face but you just brushed it away at you being tired.

You glance at the bed, then at him. “Yeah. Guess you’ll have to take the couch,” you joke, though your tone comes out flatter than intended.

“Nope.” He flops onto the bed, which creaks under his weight, making him pause to check if it’s broken. When it holds, he relaxes. “I’m sleeping right here.”

You sigh, deciding it’s not worth arguing. You’ve shared a bed before—it shouldn’t be a big deal so many times at that. But those times are not now and you have to deal with your new circumstance.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” you announce, expecting him to leave the room. Instead, he sprawls comfortably on the bed.

“Knock yourself out,” he replies casually.

Groaning, you grab your toiletries and head to the bathroom. The hot water feels like a gift, relaxing your tense muscles. If only the whole trip could feel this peaceful.

When you return, Jungkook is gone, though his shoes by the door confirm he hasn’t gone far. You search through your suitcase for a sweater, only to realize you packed just one sweater—the one now wet and dirty. Frustration bubbles as you grab a thin, long-sleeved shirt. It’ll have to do, though you doubt it’ll keep you warm in tomorrow’s outdoor activities.

Meanwhile, Jungkook in the kitchen has immersed himself in exploring the layout of it. whilst on his expedition his attention drifts to a tiny blue bird minding its business outside the window. He leans into it but carefully not to scare it away. Thankfully it doesn’t seem to find him a bother. “Got any advice for me?” he murmurs, taking a peek behind him. The bird doesn’t react, oblivious to his internal conflict. He’s unsure—about you, about himself, about what this trip is supposed to accomplish.

When you enter the kitchen and done talking to his new friend who doesn’t present him with anything viable but his company, he’s quick to point out the lack of groceries. “We should go shopping. It’s on your itinerary, right?” he teases lightly.

You nod, unsurprised he remembers. You’d always been the planner, the one who thought of everything. Maybe that’s why the breakup hurt so much—it came so suddenly, leaving no time to plan how to feel or move on.

As he’s about to suggest leaving immediately, he notices you rubbing your arms. “Aren’t you cold?” he asks, gesturing to your thin shirt.

“I’m fine,” you reply dismissively, though you clearly aren’t.

“Put on a sweater before you get sick,” he insists. His boyfriend instincts linger, even now.

You hesitate but eventually admit, “I forgot to pack an extra one.” The way how stares at you is so embarrassing for you.

Jungkook chuckles softly, though not unkindly. “Of course you did.” You roll your eyes. He moves to grab a sweater from his suitcase and hands it to you. “Here. Borrow this.”

You take it, the faint scent of his cologne that seems to be on everything he wears no matter how much he washes, invaded your senses. “Thanks,” you say quietly, slipping it on and hoping not to ruin this one too.

By the time you return from the store, exhaustion settles in. You both sit in the living room, cups of hot cocoa in hand. Jungkook flips through the channels while you sit quietly, the warmth of his sweater and the fire calming you.

“You’ve made a lot of friends in Jeju,” you say suddenly, your tone sharper than intended.

Jungkook pauses, confused. “What friends?”

“Colleagues, maybe? Customers? I saw the pictures on your camera,” you admit, staring into your cup instead of at him.

He leans back, waiting. He knows what you’re referring to and could explain that the woman in the photos was a client a little too excited and touchy about her wedding rehearsal photos, and had wanted photos with him. But he wants you to ask.

Instead, the silence stretches, filled with unspoken questions—questions about Jeju, the photos, the breakup, and even yourself. You sigh, pushing them aside.

“is there something you wanna ask?”

“There’s nothing I want to ask,” you finally say, though the bitterness in your voice betrays the truth.

Jungkook laughs softly, shaking his head. “I thought we agreed on pretending.” His voice is still soft.

“I know. Just don’t want you pretending if you’ve got other things going on.”

Jungkook chuckles taking a sip of his cocoa.” I’m good.”

“I’m good too.”

“Good.”

You watch him stand a sly smirk adoring his face. “let’s go back to pretending now, okay?” he says looking at you.

You mumble a sure and he walks off. Probably to sleep.

Sleeping the same bed is even more awkward. After spending some minutes you’d decide you were too tired to be awake, you came the bedroom.

Jungkook was still awake staring at his phone, and for some reason shirtless. He likes to sleep shirtless and the tension between you two isn’t going to stop him.

Jungkook tries to keep his eyes to himself as you change into your pajamas. You didn’t want to be childish so you just changed right there. It’s nothing he’s never seen before. He won’t act like the action doesn’t cause a rise in memories and he holds himself to not thinking further. Soon you’re crawling into your side and laying facing away from him. Jungkook chooses to lie on his back, the bed big enough for you to keep your distance. He turns off the lights but your eyes remain open staring into the dark.

As the night continues, none of you are able to fall asleep. Jungkook tries to make himself comfortable, his shifting cause you to think he might be moving closer, but he doesn’t. why do you feel sad. Your brain is used to being close to him and him holding you in situations like this. And he too is used to wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer into him. But there’s none of that.

“I can’t fucking sleep.” he groans frustratedly sitting up. He runs his hands in his hair. He looks over at you thinking you’re asleep, the darkness preventing him from actually knowing. He’s jealous at the idea of you being able to sleep, but when your frustrated voice sounds, he’s relieved. Relieved that he’s not the only not able to sleep.

“Same.” You mutter remaining on your side.

Jungkook huffs and puffs contemplating on asking what he’d been debating. Your bodies are probably used to sleeping closer to each other, so maybe that’s’ why it’s hard. You surely won’t mind if it means you get to sleep right?

He looks over to you and how far you seem from. He doesn’t like, hates the reality of it. “Can I sleep closer to you.” His words and the fact that he actually said takes you aback. You freeze. Your silence is killing him, he shouldn’t have said it. he should take it back, well—but he’s already sai-

“Okay.” Okay? Well, that was easy, he thought you’d be looking at him weird. but no, you just lay on your side waiting for him.

When he said closer you never thought he meant this close. You’re the closest you can be. But you don’t mind it, it actually brings you that giddy feeling, like it’s your first time cuddling. You realize just how much you missed it. He nuzzles his face in your neck and this is when he’d kiss your shoulder and neck but he doesn’t and the detail is gravely missed. He has to hold himself from not doing it.

“We’re going to move to the middle of the bed, darling.” It’s only then that you realize how much at the edge you were. You shuffle yourselves and move into the center and get comfortable in the position.

“Are you comfortable?”

So much you hate to say it. You can’t even bring yourself to be angry. “y-yeah.” You can barely respond coherently with how his voice is so close sending goosebumps all over you.

“Can I put my around you? It’s the only place I can put it.” he tries to explain, but you were actually hoping for it.

You nod for him to go ahead and he wraps his arm around you. Honestly, he should’ve just asked if he could cuddle you, because this is basically what you’re doing. He didn’t have to mask it; you’d have said yes either way. He doesn’t know that though.

Now that you’re close to him and him to you, you both weirdly fall asleep, very quickly at that.

First thing on your itinerary was to visit the Lindt home of chocolate you’d been drooling at the thought of it since you planned this trip. It would honestly be a crime to visit Switzerland and not visit the Lindt factory. Being a lover of chocolate no activity on your list will be as good as this.

“I don’t know why they have us putting our bags away.” Jungkook whines taking off his jacket, as required and placing it in a locker. “How am I supposed to carry my chocolate.” His speech is almost childlike. You just chuckle.

 ” That’s why they do it.” You inform him, with a soft smile and start to walk ahead of him. Jungkook walks behind you, watching how you look around with wonder.

Did he mention how good he feels right now. The sleep he had last night was the best he’s had in a while. And it only serves to tell him how much he’s missed your presence. Just you as a whole. Being away from you for so long has had an effect on him too. It’s only now, that he’s not able to do all the things he used to do, that he realizes how much he’s missed it. And how much you mean to him.

“Oh my gosh.” Jungkook watches how you take in the aroma of chocolate. It invades his senses and when you’re turning around to check on him, he’s nodding. You want him to enjoy this just as you are.

You gasp and it’s when you spot the huge chocolate fountain that you pull Jungkook’s attention to it by his arm. “it’s so fucking huge.” You say still holding onto him.

“that’s what she said.”

You roll your eyes. “Grow up.” You both laugh. and it’s when you’re lost in laughter and admiring the fountain that jungkook looks down to see you still holding his arm. So, in a swift action of no thought, all instinct he moves to hold your hand.

Your head sharply moves to look at him then at his hand holding yours and then back up at him. He’s got this innocent smile on his face and you can’t help but warm up into his hold. You don’t mind the action of holding hands but you fear what it implies. Is he for real or still pretending?

For the first minutes you stay holding hands, until jungkook is pulling away to grab his camera. You rub you hands together to try and regain your sense of independence. What the heck are you doing, holding hands? This pretending thing Is a good idea, but it’s definitely messing with you in some way. All ways. He’s giving you things that you’ve been craving. The cuddle at night, the holding hands, you’ve missed it all. But you don’t know where it’s coming from, does he miss you too or is he pretending. To think of it you never really discussed what type of pretending you’re doing. Are you pretending to still be together or are you pretending to be good friends. Gosh this is so stressful. And confusing. You wonder if he’s stressing like you are. He seems calm. He’s handling this so well.

“Wait—I need a picture of you. Stand still.” He points the camera to you and you’re quick to turning your head away.

“it’s fine you don’t need to-” snap.

He doesn’t give you the time to object and just snaps. “Jungkook stop taking pictures of me.” He doesn’t. you’re embarrassed to be doing this in public. But he seems thrilled. “Okay wait-” he doesn’t so you choose to reaching for the Lense. But jungkook doesn’t mind filling his storage with pictures of your palm. “Kook, wait.”

“Kook?” he questions smiling. You realize your mistake. Honestly you didn’t mean to call him that, it just came out naturally for you to get him to stop. And it worked. Though now it shifts the air.

You groan. “I didn’t mean it like that.” You roll your eyes. You don’t even know what you’re saying.

He doesn’t linger on it more, which honestly helps your case. The blush on your face is deserving of a picture. Snap.

“Stop that before I revoke your privileges.” You threaten. He doesn’t want that.

He raises his hands in surrender. “won’t do it again.”

You ignore him and turn to keep walking.

“Can take more later though?”

You don’t answer, but he takes it as a yes. You’ve always been his muse, it’s not gonna stop now. His camara is now getting some action.

This place is actually so beautiful, smells amazing too. The pictures you saw did not do it justice.

“Look at the strawberries, the nuts. Ah—I’m in heaven.”

Jungkook smiles as he watches enjoy and pointing for him to look at the large container, of everything that goes well with chocolate. He’s really just happy that you’re including him, by telling him how much you freaking love this place or how you want to stay here forever. It makes him feel like things aren’t all that bad between the two of you and it can be fixed.

“Why are you looking at me like that.” You narrow your eyes at him. Gosh he forgot how long he was looking for. You’d been telling him something but he zoned out.

“Oh-nothing.” He clears his throat.

You just brush it off, cause if you linger on it, you’ll melt. Jungkook looking at you has been a weakness for you, there’s just something about him focusing on you and having only you in sight. “Anyway, I was saying try this.”

He doesn’t regain his consciousness before you’re bringing a spoon full of chocolate to his lips. he takes it, tasting the sweetness of it.

He licks the chocolate off his lips when you pull away. “Mmm….so good.” You nod glad that he likes it. Though way he’s looking at you makes you think he might not be talking about the chocolate. You choose to ignore your thoughts with a cough.

As you go on you learn facts about chocolate and the factory and jungkook takes the pictures. When walking around you make sure to not forget to collect little pieces of chocolate from the dispensers. And it’s not long before your hands are getting full.

When your expedition is over, you’re returning to your bags to stuff them with your treasure.

“This is a lot of chocolate.” Jungkook states.

You shake your head. “it’s not that much.”

“Yeah of course an addict is telling me that.”

You gasp. “I’m not an addict.”

“Tell that to all the money I’ve spent buying you chocolate.” Money which it didn’t mind and loved spending.

“Honestly that’s all on you.” You say raising your hands. He chuckles.

Getting tired you both decide to go by the café inside the factory. Whilst there you both order some food to eat which is not chocolate, except you. For your beverage you picked to drink the famous hot cocoa. Which tastes like heaven made it themselves.

“How do I take this home with me?” you say motioning to your drink.

“Just stay.” He meant to say you both could just stay, but his tongue tripped.

You nod, thinking about it. “I could.” Moving to Switzerland and living here would be a dream. But unfortunately, things aren’t that easy. Finding a job would be hard, plus the language barrier would kill you.

“don’t.” he’s almost pleading. “I don’t know how I’d tell your family I lost you to Switzerland.” More like he doesn’t know how he’d fix things.

“Honestly it’s no competition.” You say in deep thought and analysis.

“What? you would leave me for Switzerland?” He says it not realizing causing you to chuckle. And when you look at him, he gets it.

The conversation doesn’t go farther after that. Jungkook just stays in his thought. When jungkook had made the decision to move. He honestly thought it wouldn’t be that bad. He’d plan on maybe moving you out to him when he settled down, but your job was a very hot topic. At the time he hadn’t realized how serious it was. But now he does.

If it was you moving, he’d be just as hurt. And it pissing him off that he hadn’t realize the impact.

For your second and last activity for the day, cause of the way time just flies by; is the largest indoor flea market.

You spend your time there; just looking around, eating, and buying stuff. During your move you make it a mission to take pictures of jungkook. And you do manage to take some good ones.

He also finds an opportunity to ask about your work and how it’s going. And if that co-worker that bothers you is still around. He’s glad to learn that she did get moved to another department. He’s happy with whatever makes you comfortable.

As you’re talking, you’re approached by a couple, older but not old and tourists as well. They ask you to take a picture of them and jungkook is glad to assist. When he’s done, they’re happy and offer to take a picture of you too, jungkook wants to decline the offer assuming you wouldn’t want to but you’re quick to accepting.

“you two look so lovely together.” The lady says and you have no clue what to say apart form an awkward thank you. You wouldn’t blame them for thinking you’re a couple, not with the way jungkook is smiling at the picture.

“Grow up kook.”

“What?” he whines. “It’s a good photo.”

You roll your eyes before walking away. He follows behind you, smiling.

-----

Soon your day on paper comes to an end and you’re returning to the cabin.

You did not know what to expect of your day in the morning. Your night was okay but would the rest of the day go the same? those were some of your thoughts. But to your pleasure the day went well, great even. You just hope it’s the same for the rest of the trip.

Jungkook is on cocoa duty (not assigned but he took the responsibility.) and you’d be lying if you said he didn’t do a good job at it every time.

Leaning against the counter holding your mug and watching him finishes up with his own, you watch.

“How’d you like the Lindt factory?”

He takes a sip before answering. “Great. Honestly enjoyed it more than I thought.”

“What? You don’t trust my judgement?” you watch as he leans on the counter opposite from you.

“it’s not that. Just never thought I was that big of a chocolate fan.”

You hum. Silence fills the kitchen as you’re just enjoying the drink. Why does the air feel so thick, is it the way he just leans there. Pajamas not doing a very good job at hiding his physique. Why the hell does he look buffer. Gosh, his arms look like they’d lift and lay you to your demise. In the morning you caught a glimpse of his shirtless torso, and you were about to lose your cool. To add gasoline to the fire he had just stepped out the shower and had not completely dried. Geez, if it wasn’t for your ability to leave the room, you don’t know what you would’ve done or said.

Jungkook has always had a keen eye for your little frustrated looks, the way you don’t blink, the way you wrap your hands around yourself or how you cross your legs. He knows. It’s the details he’s aware of. No one knows you like he does.

“I like this sweater on you.” He says pointing to the green sweater you’d just gotten back from the dry cleaners.

You look down at it. “Because it’s yours?” you raise a brow as you take a sip of your cocoa.

He shakes his head looking your body up. “no. because you look good in it.” He’s biting his lip, then his playing with that little lip ring. Yn, hold yourself.

You choke out a chuckle. “Jungkook.” It’s a warning for him. But he doesn’t take it.

“What? It’s not my fault you look good in all my clothes.” gosh you’re gonna die choking on this liquid. “Makes me want to just hand over my closet to you.” He’s coming closer to you, gosh what the fuck, he approaches but it’s the sink you’re standing in front he wants. You move. He rinses his mug, tired of the drink.

“Well, that won’t be necessary.” you say sliding away from his towering figure. Just to catch your breath, cause you’ve been holding it. Jungkook laughs at the movement. Just after, you’re rinsing your cup and placing it in the cupboard. You’re not gonna die choking on cocoa, or jungkook as a matter of fact.

“Think I’m going to bed.” You state thinking the bedroom will be your only place of solace away from him.

“Me too. I’m getting sleepy.”

You’re stiff as he walks behind you. You hope you’ll be able to sleep on your own tonight. Cause if jungkook just as much as touches you, you’ll turn into a puddle.

You’re quick to moving to your side and facing away from him as to not see him taking of his shirt. You know because you hear it drop.

“Goodnight.” He says turning off the light.

With all your might you mumble a goodnight to him too.

Tonight, you manage to fall asleep without cuddling. You sleep back-to-back close enough to feel the heat radiating off the other.

Jungkook wanted, so badly to go skiing after seeing an advertisement for it and saw some people do it on your way to the cabin. You’re not one for these intense sports but since he went with you to the Lindt factory, you thought it’d only be fair to go as well. Just accompany him.

Though his won’t be sweet and rewarding.

“You wanna go with me?” he asks teasingly and you shake your head, as soon as you process his words.” come on.” He whines.

“I’ll just cheer you on from down here.” The process of skiing looks terrifying. What do you mean you had to go on those zip line things, and slide down. Not you. Nope.

“it’s not that bad. You’ll be with me.”

Though it sounds comforting it doesn’t change anything. “I’ll just stay here looking around and taking pictures for you.” You smile hoping it convinces him.

He chuckles, his bunny smile on show for you.” baby what are you so scared of?” the pet name comes out smoothly, catching you by surprise. But it does seat itself in and warm your heart.

“it’s just scary.” You wrap your arms around your body.

He sighs watching you closely. “Fine, but can we do something as exciting, later.” He stares at you scattering your brain for what he could be referring to. “Like ice skating.” Oh—he was thinking ice skating. Last night has your mind in a whirlwind.

“That sounds better.” Jungkook laughs cause it’s basically the same thing, but he won’t get into it.

“Okay then.” He says walking to the register. “we’ll do that later.” It’s a promise.

Jungkook is off skiing and you’re sat in doors, still able to watch the outside activities, landscape and events thought the large window. You don’t mind not going skiing, it’s not like it was on your list.

While you’re sat you decide it’d be a good time to call jimin and let him in on your trip so far.

“it’s not as awkward, anymore. It was at first. But then we just agreed to just enjoy the trip for the sake of our money.”

“The sake of your money?” he mocks.

You choke out a laugh. “Yes, for the money.” Is it? “he’s been nice and all. It’s actually not bad.” Jimin hums as he listens, this time at least you have his attention.

You’ve shockingly enjoyed the trip more than you thought, so far. If you just keep on, the whole trip could go well and you’d be back to your normal lives. You hate the sickness you feel at the thought. The trip will end, it is gonna end and you’ll be back to what you were before. Gosh.

“Sounds like the trip is going a little too well.”

You scoff. “it’s not that, we’re both just chill.”

“No fucking or kissing.”

You gasp and look around like someone could’ve heard that, but your phone is to your ear. “jimin! Oh my gosh.” The thought of it has you blushing still.

“Just sayin’. Jungkook’s probably dying. ”

You roll your eyes. He’s fine, you’re fine.

You go on talking but soon you have to end the call. Immediately you cut the call and stuff your phone in your pocket a figure sits next to you. Male, not jungkook. You pay no mind to him. you’re on a public bench anyone can sit next to you. He’s just in his own business. Is what you think until he’s reaching over to talk to you.

“Exciting isn’t it.” when he speaks you catch his foreign accent, not Swiss. Must be a tourist like you.

You awkwardly furrow your brows. “Huh?”

“Skiing.” He points.

Then it clicks that that’s what he’s talking about.

“I presume.” You say modestly. Why the heck is he talking to you.

“Presume? Haven’t you gone?”

“no.” You shake your head chuckling. “it’s not for me.”

“You can’t say that. You haven’t even tried.” You internally roll your eyes. Why does he seem to care so much. “Plus, why come to Switzerland in the winter and not try skiing.”

You don’t know why you carry on this conversation, but you feel like justifying yourself. “Honestly I just came for the Lindt factory.” You say shamelessly causing the stranger to laugh. he doesn’t seem like a weirdo or creep, but you can never know. He’s probably not talking to you out of pure interest. So, you try to keep your distance.

“you’ve been?”

“Yeah. Yesterday.”

He hums sound interested and you know this conversation isn’t ending anytime soon. “How was it?”

You scoff internally. “It was fun. Would recommend you’ll love it.” You don’t even know him; how would you know he’d like it. And to be fair you’d add that Jungkook’s presence made the place more exciting to be at. You assume he doesn’t have a jungkook. Speaking of jungkook, how long is he going to be? You should’ve just gone out on a walk instead.

He nods. “Well maybe you can show me.” You pause, okay now you’re starting to get uncomfortable. “I’m sorry I don’t mean it like that. It’s just that I came alone and it would be nice to have someone show me around.” He justifies but it doesn’t make you any more comfortable. “I’d pay for your ticket if that’s the issue.”

You chuckle. “I’m a tourist to, there’s not much I can show you.”

“I mean you’ve visited the Lindt, so you know more than me.” Gosh he’s so adamant.

You smile awkwardly wishing jungkook would just pop up.

“you’d be better off going with someone else.” You’re looking around as if you’ve lost something. The man catches on to the action.

“Am I making you uncomfortable.” Yes. very.

“No-” before you can finish your lie of a statement, Jungkook’s interrupts, voice anything but kind.

“Yes, you are.” He says firmly, body not open for discussion.

The guy turns to look at you, then jungkook, then back at you. “Do you know him?”

Hesitantly you respond. “yeah” you debate on what to say. “He’s a friend.” He is isn’t he?

Friend? Jungkook chuckles internally. “Excuse us.” He spits out to the man.

The guy is taken aback, but just stands. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” You just nod and give him an awkward smile as he walks away.

You sigh relieved that he’s gone.

 You and jungkook share a glance before he’s sitting down.

“Friend?” Jungkook asks when he sits next to you.

You raise a brow. “What? you wanted me to lie?”

“Lie?” he says even stronger. You don’t know what he’s pointing to right now.

“Are you parrot?” You chuckle trying to get smart with him.

Jungkook scoffs at how you avoid his eyes. “You couldn’t have said I was your boyfriend.”

“But you’re not.” You spit out a little quickly.

When you turn to look at him you catch how his jaw clenches. And if you weren’t arguing right now, you’d think it’s the hottest thing. “But you could’ve just lied so he leaves you alone. Now he’s probably going to try to approach you again.”

“he’s not going to.” You say naively.

Jungkook is getting frustrated with this, a little more than he should. “I know guys like that, he’s going wait for a time when I’m not around and attack.”

“Attack?” you laugh at his word choice. Your laughter only serves to his anger. “You’re being dramatic”

“I’m not being dramatic, I’m being serious” his statement comes out a little strong and louder than you’d like

“don’t yell.” You warn him and he apologizes. “I get you feel like you need to protect me, but relax.”

He laughs at the way you think. You thinking he’s feeling like he needs to, no, he needs to. He wants to.

“I don’t feel like, I need to, I want to.”

You don’t say anything, he knows he’s got you, what more could you say. There’s nothing. Jungkook is the protective type, has always been. He’s shown you that many times in your relationship. And then, it made sense but now you feel like he shouldn’t have to bother himself with it. You’re not his responsibility anymore. “We should get ready to go for lunch.” you stand walking away.

Jungkook follows after you, knowing you’re now gonna give him attitude. Your folded arms are evidence of that. He’d normally just kiss the attitude away but for obvious reason he can’t.

-

“you’re not gonna ask how skiing was?” He tries really hard to open the air for conversation. He hates it when you argue. So, he tries to everything he can to lighten the air.

You stare down at your food. Your eyes not meeting him once. “How was it?” you don’t even sound interested which you hate because you are. You love to hear jungkook talk about things he loves.

“It was great.” He explains not into going into much detail like he wanted to. Your energy demoralizes him. “I’m sure they’re still open if you still want to try. He suggests but you’re quick to shaking your head.

When he’s about to say something, he’s getting interrupted. It’s a girl, the one he met when skiing. She showed him around some routes since she’s a local.

“Yn, this is Lena. I met her whilst skiing.” He says introducing you. “Lena this is yn, my friend.”

Fuck now you know how bad it stings.

“Hey yn. How are you liking you trip so far?” she asks politely in an accent.

You stare her up, taking in her features. She looks about your age, and gorgeous. Why is your body so rigid. Speak. “Umm- hi-I’m liking it well enough. Thanks.” you can hear how stiff and awkward your speech is. Gosh yn she hasn’t done anything to you, chill. Smile.

Jungkook breaks into your awkward encounter. “I’m gonna be seeing you at the ice rink, right?”

He says and she smiles a little too hard. You roll your eyes. What does he mean he’s gonna see her there. Is the a you and him trip anymore? Your food doesn’t look as appetizing anymore. “Yeah. I’m there often during the holidays.”

The way her voice rings in your head is jarring. Make it stop.

Soon your prayers are answered and she’s leaving. Though unlike her your heavy heart stays.

Jungkook turns to you, still staring at her route of exit. “You, okay?” your eyes return.

You shift your eyes to your hands. “Yeah, I’m just tired.” You stand from the table choosing to leave. “I think I’m gonna stop by the cabin.”

Jungkook is confused. But he just takes you as you are.

“Sure, let me get-” he threatens to stand.

“no. I’ll just take a train.”

He sits down. If you want to be alone it’s best if he lets you be.

When you get to the cabin, all alone. You find yourself falling into deep thought.

The pretend play you and jungkook are playing is good for you to enjoy the trip, but you won’t deny how much it only covers your true feelings. You play pretend and feel all these feelings as though you’re still together and then the trip ends and you’re sucked into being apart.  And it’s him leaving all over again.

You’re getting sick of it. There’s only so much pretending you can do.

Jungkook: ice skating later today?

He wants to be sure you haven’t changed your mind.

Not matter your emotions you still want to enjoy the trip.

You: sure. Meet you there.

When you make it to the ice rink, your mood is still tense from lunch, which is your fault for holding on to the emotions for so long. To only sour your mood more, you spot jungkook talking to the Lena girl from lunch.

You roll your eyes and watch how she giggles a little too hard at something he says. Jungkook is a funny guy, but she shouldn’t be laughing, whatever he’s said can’t be that funny. This is so irritating. Why the hell is she even here.

When jungkook spots you, he has on a huge grin, but the sour look on your face has him dropping it. He thought maybe you wouldn’t be still upset by now. But he’s wrong. “Yn you’re here.” He says it like he wasn’t expecting you and you weren’t meant to be here, or that’s how you hear it.

“We made plans, didn’t we?” your tone is nothing more than flat and irritated.

“We did.” He turns. “You remember Lena?” He turns to point at her, like you can’t see her. Why’s she looking at you.

Oh, could you forget her. “I do.” You jeer.

“Hi.” she with her perfect smile. You’d liked to punch it in—your of course—you’d never actually so it.

“Hey.” It comes out awkward and strained. Wanting to get things over with you turn to jungkook immediately. “what’re we doing now?”              

“Um. We’ll have to get the skates.” He turns to Lena for some type of consultation, you scoff.

 “Yeah, this way.” she says turning to lead the way.

Jungkook turns to you, your folded arms the first thing he sees. He stands next to you. “You get here okay?” you didn’t arrive together which means you had to take public transport, which he knows you don’t mind but he just wants to check on you.

“Yeah.” You mutter before walking ahead of him. Do you even know where you’re going?

You want to enjoy it, but the emotions that are ahead of you block you from doing so completely. And of course, Lena is a pro at skating.

Jungkook is fairly good, for someone who’s just taken it up. You’d attribute that to his quick learner personality.

You on the other hand are struggling, and it’s pissing you off. You hold on to the half wall and glide. There’s a good amount of people around and honestly, it’s embarrassing. -like- there are even small kids better at it than you. It’d be better if you just stopped. There are probably other activities you could do. Ice skating (or skiing) is not the end all be all of Switzerland.

Jungkook would probably enjoy skating more with Lena, seeing that they skied together earlier. You question why jungkook even ever liked you in the first place. You’re not cool like Lena or even as adventurous, you do try but you don’t feel it’s enough. He’s better off with someone like her. It’s good you broke up so that he can be free to do whatever. The thought stabs at your heart.

Jungkook spots you from where he is walking out. The look on your face anything but happy. He’s swift to skating to you, making sure not to bump into anymore with how fast he’s moving. “Where you going?”

His concerned and soft voice only intensifies your frustration. Could he not see how irritated and bad at this you are. He was probably too busy to notice. He’s always busy.

 “You haven’t even travelled the while ring.” He chuckles awkwardly as you step off. He follows.

“I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it.” You don’t even dare look at him, because you know if you do your frustration will win and you’ll end up yelling or crying. And both are too embarrassing to do in public.

Jungkook scoffs. Jungkook can’t tell what’s going on with you but it’s definitely disturbing your ability to enjoy anything. He wants you to enjoy. But what’s irritating him is how you don’t want to communicate what you’re feeling to him. He’s always made himself a safe space for you to open up. But you never take it. Ever since he m0ved you’ve been distant, physically and emotionally. It’s frustrating cause all he wants is to be close to you in all ways. “You were not feeling skiing and now you’re not feeling this?”

Is he blaming you for not enjoying this? It’s not your fault you feel this way. You don’t even want to be feeling like this. You do want to enjoy skating, gosh you want to, so bad. But there’s just so much you’re holding on too that pretending can’t solve.

“Jungkook I’m not any good at this.” You gesture around eyes starting to sting when you watch how other people have fun while you argue. “You just go have fun with your Leni or Lena whatever.” You act like you aren’t sure of her name.

It’s the way you say it, the force and strain in the word. The way you look to the crowd in a jittering stare looking for her that let’s jungkook know what this is all about. Did it come off like that? She’s just a girl he met whilst skiing, he honestly never thought that far. Never thought you’d be thinking of it.

“Is this because of her?” he questions eyebrows furrowed trying to look at your face that’s staring down. Why the hell are this shoe laces so hard to untie. you just want to cut them off, but you’d probably have to pay for damages. Shit

Your frustration is replaced with another type of embarrassment, when jungkook is on his knee to replace his hands with yours to help you take the laces off. You just want the ground to swallow you right now. Unlike you Jungkook’s calmness is able to take the laces off. He tries to help you into your other shoes but you just brush him off. He moves.

Standing up and looking at you he asks. Voice calm like usual. “Is it?” you’d even forgotten his previous question. Do you have to answer him?

“I don’t know how it would be when you two are off to the other side of the ring. I’ve barely talked to her.” That’s exactly the problem why the heck do you feel like this when you haven’t gotten to know the girl. You barely know her intentions.

“It is.”

You groan rolling your eyes. “If you want help skating, I can help you. I’m sorry that I got carried away.” It’s probably one of the things you’re mad about. He just fucking left you like you didn’t make plans to come here together. Yeah, maybe your attitude made the distance between you, but he should know how to deal with it by now. Gosh you’ve been together for a good 3 years. He should know how you are.

And he does. That’s why he insists you’re acting like this cause of Lena. well, she’s probably just a catalyst and there’s something deeper that you two have to address.

You stand looking up at him, but he’s towering figure doesn’t make you as intimidating as you want to feel. “You don’t have to be sorry about anything, why? Cause you always know what you’re doing.”

“You know it’d be better if you just said it directly.” Whatever it is, because he wants to know. You want to walk past him but his hand around your wrist stops you. You look at it then at him. He’s not smiling, but not mad. Just concerned.

“I don’t--I’m not saying anything.” You snatch it form his grip and he lets you.

Jungkook’s face scrunches up in frustration. “That’s what you always say, then pull shit like this.”

You pause and stare at right in his--round eyes that are now, siren. “Shit like what?”

“This. Your fucking attitude.” He almost loses his tone but remembers that you’re in public, which is so fucking embarrassing. “You never want to talk about things.” He looks around for any watching eyes.

You just glare at him. Maybe you don’t like expressing yourself to him anymore. You’ve noticed it too. It had been hard for you to express yourself to him over a call, and sometimes shitty network. There had been days where you wanted to cry on his shoulders but only had the screen to rely on, so guess what you did. Nothing. You didn’t cry, you didn’t tell him anything. You’d just cry on your pillow after the call ends. “Maybe I don’t cause I know you won’t listen.”

That’s a hit to his ego. To him as a person.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. I always listen to you.” The blank look on your face has him questioning himself. “of course, I’m not perfect.”

You chuckle bitterly.

“Just go off to your little girlfriend.” And there it is, a confirmation of what he already knew.

You start walking to the entrance. And he follows. Shoes on. He’s not going to be able to skate with the heaviness in his heart. He’d end up sinking into the ice, which doesn’t sound so bad right now. “Come on.” He swiftly moves to standing Infront of you. He blocks you from moving and you just give up and just decide to look at his jaw, not wanting to look directly at him. Which was not a good idea, cause of how he clenches it. You look up into his eyes. “you’re jealous?”

“Who?” he’s a parrot and now you’re an owl, he wants to say but finds it inappropriate for your mood.

“You are so jealous.”

“I’m no-”

“don’t lie to me.” You try to push at his chest for him to move out of your way, but your plan backfires giving him leeway to hold your hand firmly to his chest. Hard as a rock even through he’s sweater. “Tell me why you’re jealous.”

Instead of answering him directly you try to change the topic. You swear you can feel his heart beat through his sweater.

“Don’t act like I couldn’t see you jealous too when that guy approached me.” You try to one-up.

“I was jealous.” His confession has you wanting you dig a hole and hide yourself. It’s so easy for him to say, you weren’t even enjoying your conversation with that guy. “Difference with me is that I can say it.”

Shit. Shit. What do you say now. Get angrier, that always works, well not really.

“Whatever. I’m not jealous.” You look away from him. Are you really doing this in public. Jungkook doesn’t look like he gives a fuck right now, he just wants an answer. One which he’s not going to get.

“Tell me what you’re so jealous about?” his voice lowers

“How many times do I have to say I’m not jealous.” Till you can’t deny it anymore, the thought runs through Jungkook’s mind.  “Just go have your fun.” You finally decide you’re tired of feeling his heart beat perfectly.

“you’re so ridiculous y’know.” He watches you move slight away, anger not faltering one bit. You’re determined to being upset. “can’t we just talk about this. It seems to be bothering you.”

It is. It’s fucking gnawing at your heart, your lungs, your mind.

“Nothing’s bothering me, I’m fine.” You breathe in, relaxing and calming down just a bit. “I just don’t want to be out there all on my own, while you’re having fun with some else.” Jungkook licks his lip. He doesn’t have anything else to say. What he has to say can’t be said here or whilst you’re unable to hear.

“I’m going home.” You pass by him and he doesn’t bother turning to watch you walk out.

“Korea?” it’s possible for you to want to leave. And the thought causes him to bite down hard on his bottom lip. Cause if you leave on these terms, nothing’s gonna change and he’d never get another chance. You’d avoid him like the plague.

“No, the cabin.” You state and he’s relieved. “Have fun.”

“Everything okay?” jungkook is startled by Lena’s voice who walked around to find him after she noticed he was gone.

“Yeah.” You force a smile. “I’ll just get going.” He informs her. He already has his stuff so there’s no need for him to go back inside. “Thanks for getting us in, though we didn’t even stay long.”

“No problem. It was fun, wish I got to talk to her.”

“Yeah, she isn’t normally like that.” Cause you aren’t.

“I understand.”

You don’t immediately go to the cabin. Instead, you go to the sauna you had been eyeing. It could probably be the only way to relax you. The sweat dripping down will mask the real tears falling down your face. You’re glad you’re alone right now.

You have your head leaned back thinking about what had just previously happened. The thoughts not wanting to leave you.

You hear the door open but you don’t bother looking, you’ve got a lot to think about. “hey stranger..” the familiar voice speaks just as shocked. You sharply open your eyes. Wondering if it’s you he’s speaking to but you’re just the two of you in here.

You’re just the two of you.

“didn’t expect to find you here.” He says setting himself down just in front of you and you looking at him oddly. Do you have bad luck?

“hmm” you chuckle awkwardly. You make a plan to gradually scoot yourself to the door. Being with him here does make you uncomfortable but you try to stay to enjoy what’s left of your time. You expect silence but the man doesn’t see on the same level. “Went to the Lindt factory like you said. Was honestly the best of everything.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” you say like you’re a worker at the factory or care.

“It would’ve been better if you came too.”

You awkwardly chuckle and finally decide to sit up. You came here to think and relax but this guy couldn’t be more of a bother. “I’m sure I would’ve just made it worse.”

He chuckles and smiles your way. A smile you do not reciprocate “I doubt.”

“Is your friend around?” Now you should fucking leave.

“Mm?” you ask like you didn’t hear. Fucking sirens are blaring. He’s not giving off I’m gonna leap at your vibe. It’s more of his inability to give up that bugs you. “Oh- ahh yeah. He’s gonna be here.”

He turns to look at the door like Jungkook’s about to walk through the door, but he doesn’t. gosh you wish he would. “isn’t it hard to have male friends like him.” You look at him brows furrowed, confused. You wait for him to elaborate and he’s quick to it. “Protective.” He says.

“how?”

“makes it hard for you to live your live and get to know people.” You laugh. it’s not like jungkook has his hands on you and pulling you away from people who want to talk to you. He’s actually for it but he just has a good discernment of creeps. As you sit here you reflect on his words from before when you initially met the guy. Gosh you should really start listening to jungkook. Makes you realize how right he is—sometimes--

“no.” your tone is sharp that the soft one you’d been giving him.

He shakes his head. He lifts his hands in defence saying, “I think he’s doing too much.” Now you’re getting upset, visibly so, which is not lost to the man. Who the fuck does he thinks he is. He’s the one doing too much, “I’m not some weirdo, I promise.” He hasn’t shown any signs of it yet, but you don’t give a fuck and you’re not gonna wait around for him to show it.

“I think you’re doing too much.” You snare abruptly standing up. He can tell the irritation on your face and is about to defend himself but you’re quick to cutting in. you’re not about to have it.

“I don’t know how your long your trip is but if you see me around, please don’t speak to me.”

“Wait.” You don’t.

Sauna time done you decide to go back to the cabin, feeling anything but relaxed. Daylight already lost.

Today has honestly knocked you out, as though you’ve done anything energy straining. It’s more of an emotional strain. When you walk in jungkook isn’t anywhere to be seen. So, you just assume he never got back. Makes you wonder where the hell he is and why he didn’t tell you, but you’re in no place to convict him cause you never informed him of your sauna endeavours as well. You’re both grown adults and can move around Switzerland without the other—but—why do you feel entitled to know where he is. You lost those privileges when you broke up and now when you left him at the rink.

Maybe a steamy shower will do what the sauna didn’t finish cause of you interruption. After that you decide to end your night early, you’ve got nothing to do after all.

you toss and turn in bed, barely able to get a linear sleeping time. Everything just feels so weird and off. Even worse than in the beginning. It’s all a different type of awkward, which you hate. Jungkook isn’t sleeping next to you which prompts you to checking the time.

1:39am your phone tells you.

Where the hell is he, you’re starting to get scared. You’re not worried about his safety cause jungkook is very capable in that sector, --well unless he got shot—shot?  Why are thinking of that. Who’d fucking shot him, let alone in Switzerland. He’s never been in any trouble with the law or anyone. You’re getting paranoid, if you don’t see jungkook in the flesh, well and not wounded, you’re gonna lose your mind.

Putting on the sweater that has been a staple and carried you through the trip you walk out the bedroom to the open floor living room. you sigh when you don’t spot jungkook. You won’t be able to go back to sleep even if you wanted to. Cause you don’t feel like it and are losing your mind. As you’re standing in the living room like an anxiety ridden mom waiting for their teenager child at midnight, you hear it. It’s wood chopping sounds. Harsh and fast. You do have some cabins around you so it could be your neighbours—but no--the sound is closer to yours, like it’s just outside. So, you curiously walk to the door which would lead you closer to the sound. Maybe you aren’t as afraid cause you assume it’s jungkook. And it is.

You relax when you spot his figure well and healthy.

He doesn’t notice as you stand watching him. bottom lip chewed down on. Why the hell is he chopping wood at 1 in the morning.

You want to say something. You need to. Maybe apologize about what happened at the rink, you have a fair share in the argument. Since waking up or maybe after the sauna you realized how childish your behaviour was. You ruined the moment. When you could’ve just asked jungkook to help you and he would’ve been there, hadn’t you chosen to give into your irritation. Irritation of seeing him with a woman. There you said it.

His muscles flex as he moves to drop the axe down on the wood.

This is not what you want for you and jungkook. Arguing and not able to talk or share air. It’s not what you want. Even if things do officially end, you’d want to end it on calm and friendlier terms.

As you watch him you notice how his jaw tightens. He’s not just chopping wood. You start to worry for him when his movements grow harsher, of the larger chunk of wood.

“What did the wood do to you?” you try to be neutral.

He didn’t notice you behind him. So, he’s startled by the sound of your voice. Turning to look at you holding yourself in the door way, he chooses to take a break. He got so carried away he forgot he was cutting wood for the fire place and had cut too much. He drops the axe into snow. “Ditched me at the ice rink.” He says going to pick up some pieces of wood to bring inside.

Fuck you feel so bad. You stay silent watching him until he’s brought all the wood in and finally closing the door. Which allows for the warmth from the now blazing fire to fill the house. Now in warmer climate, jungkook takes off his large sweater and you drop your arms that were still wrapped around you.

“I’m sorry about that.” You mumble softly. He stands at the sink, you assume to make himself something warm.

“it’s okay, it’s not like I went all the way to stay in touch with some girl so she could get me—us--a good deal at the ice rink. Then I take you there and you ditch the thing entirely.”

You do feel horrible about to, but his tone irritates you causing you to respond as just that. Which you immediately regret.

“I left you with her, weren’t you happy with that.” You have an interesting way of saying things that bother you.

Jungkook pauses his actions and stares at you with a seriously confused face. He scoffs. You’re not making sense. “You know that’s not what I wanted.” He returns to his mug. “I wanted to spend it with you.” His voices calms.

Fuck. Uhm what do you say. You should probably say you’re sorry. “I’m sorry.”

Jungkook just listening. He just doesn’t understand, he wishes you could just be straight forward. Frustrated and tired of hiding behind a task, he drops the cup to give you, his attention.

“Did I say something wrong?” you stand where you are but jungkook moves. To you. You panic but he doesn’t walk closer than a few feet from you. You don’t know how you’d handle yourself if he came any closer. At the rink you almost died. “At the rink?” he clarifies like you’re not fully aware. He just wants to make sure that you’re on the same page. Cause you can think of other times he might have feared he’d said something wrong.  “I honestly shouldn’t even have started talking to her.” He rubs a hand over his face.

Jungkook has never been malicious to you in your friendship before or relationship. Or even now. He’s been cordial. He’s the only man who’s treated so well and calmingly. Of course he has his imperfections, you both do. But it doesn’t take from how well he’s treated you. He never crosses a line.

“it’s not even that.” You’re looking off to the side and holding yourself again,

Gosh, he’s really holding himself right now. He bites his lower lip and clenches his jaw to hold himself back from just walking up to you and making you look him in the eyes. “Then what’s wrong. Please talk to me.” He pleads.

“I don’t know,” you whisper still looking beyond him, your voice is barely audible.

He’s begging, really for you to just tell him something. “Please don’t say that.” He responds, his tone a mix of frustration and pleading. He steps closer just a few centimetres away, if you unfolded your arms you’d probably bump into his chest.

“I don’t-” you start but your voice cuts you off, “it’s the way you-” you aren’t able to finish. What are you going to do with yourself. This is embarrassing, you can barely form or organize your thoughts and your mouth can barely move to speak. You’re not even going to talk about how hard it is for you to look him in the eyes. You just settle with staring at his other supporting features. His hair, his ears (that are red from what you assume is frustration—it’s not--), his eyebrows and then you skip to look at his nose--

“was it me talking to that girl?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You push away slightly.

“But we have--you know what--I want to.” He moves to block your action of walking away. You thought you were strong enough. You thought you’d manage to talk about this. But you can’t. not when it makes you want to cry.  “I want to talk about it.” His voice is stern but not harsh. It’s just strong enough to let you know he’s not letting this go. It’s funny how something so insignificant can cause you to be in this situation. Forced to express and confront your emotions, the one’s you’ve been running from since the trip began, the one’s you told yourselves you’d pretend didn’t exist. You fooled yourselves by dodging the topic.

Now you’re here. “While we’re at it we can talk about why you broke up with me.” He’s not asking if you can talk about it, he’s telling you it has to be talked about and he’s not gonna let it go by. Not this time.

At his words, all your emotions unite to form a single unit of defence. “me? you agreed too.” You point at him face scowling.

“I only did cause it’s what you wanted, and I didn’t want to hold you back.”

You stare confused. “Hold me back from what?” what the fuck does he think you’ve been doing. You hope he doesn’t think you’ve been out and about since breaking up, that’s been the last thing on your mind.

“From living the life, you wanted to, without me.” His upset at the thought leading his voice to come out a little passive aggressive.

He does think that, you can see it. “Without you? I don’t want that.” You state. “But how can I live a life with you when you’re miles away, always busy. And can barely visit.” You just talk. Finally, your gears are moving. But the problem is that so are the tears. “You moving away is you choosing to live without me too.” You choke on your words a little. “Even I didn’t want to tie you to me or hold you back from your dreams that’s why I tried to li- live with it, but it got so unbearable kook. I couldn’t take it. it felt like I was alone. In fact, I was alone.”

Jungkook feels sick hearing that you felt alone.

“You know I did try.” His voice is soft, moving himself into your circle. You let him. He can’t help himself but cup your cheek. The action feels comforting, almost relieving. At least he’s here and you’re not talking over the phone, makes it much easier for you to sink into his touch.

You hold the wrist that’s caressing your cheek. Gosh you want to keep his touch here forever. “I know that’s what hurts more you tried but it still wasn’t enough. I really did want it to work. I still do.” On your last sentence you look up at him and he’s already staring at you, the thump of his other hand coming swiftly to wipe your stray tears. You sniffle. “Cause honestly I’ve missed you kook.” You feel comforted playing with the end of his sweater.  “So much. I miss how we were before you moved. When it was easier for us to be together.” your fingers take a journey from the bottom of his sweater to the neck.

Your palms lay flat on his chest and his hands move to softly hold your wrist, not to move you away but you keep there.

“I know we said we’d pretend. A-and I thought I could. But I can’t kook.” On cue with his name, you look up at him. “fuck- I never knew how much I hate seeing you talk to other—" you can’t finish your sentence, but it’s okay cause he’s finished for you in his mind. “I’m sorry for attitude.”

He glides his hands from your wrists down your arms until they are both on your waist. “I’m sorry too.” He’s pulling you closer, your hands still on his chest, but now for stability. “I’m so sorry I was too distracted for you. You didn’t deserve that. You don’t serve that.” He’s caressing your back. “okay?” you have to answer but you can only bring yourself to nodding. All he’s ever wanted was to know. Know what was wrong and how he could fix it.

“I’ve missed you too.” He smiles lightly bringing his nose to brush against yours. The action has you tilting your head upwards. His lips itch to touch yours, but they don’t they just hover, he still has more to say. And he wants to say it close enough for you to feel it. “If only you knew how I dreaded every morning and realized you weren’t next to me. Every time I just wanted to fly back home.”

“So, what stopped you.” You’re looking at his lips. his rosy and moist lips from how hard he’s been biting and licking on that. You wanna do that. You wanna kiss him, wanna be the only biting down on his lips.  you wanna do a lot of things right now. You wanna run your hands through his hair remind yourself of its texture, you wanna lift that sweater off, that holds his cologne so well, the earthy lavender scent, that crawls its way through your system. You wanna take that sweater off him, --feel, see—just how much that gym membership as proved itself valuable. You know you won’t be disappointed, jungkook loves the fucking gym.

“I don’t even know. But all I know is that it’s not gonna stop me anymore.” Him nudging his nose closer has you tilting your head to meet his lips. the air between you feels heavy. The feeling pulling your lips to meet. And when the do, it’s fervent. His kiss is urgent but slow, not wanting to be apart from you for a second.

 Your bodies are hooked together as Jungkook is moving you back into a wall. The kiss intensifies when he leans your head back with his hand around your neck. You’re gripping onto his sweater for support and breathing him in for life.

Jungkook clings onto your lips for life too, even if he needs to breath he doesn’t stop. You moaning into his mouth will suffice. He doesn’t know where to keep his hands. Should he use them to tilt your head back to deepen the kiss, (if he goes any deeper he’s gonna sink.) whilst he uses the other to pull you leg up by your thighs, his grip surely leaving crescent moons as decorations. He doesn’t know what to do with them. For the moment he uses them to pull he sweater over his head. You’ve been clawing at it to come off.

Now shirtless you can feel his skin for what you remember it to be silky-smooth. So delicate that you fear leaving scratch marks on him, but jungkook encourages it, he begs you to do it. Your hands roam his body, first his large back, muscles flexed, then down his firm chest then down to his defined midsection. “What am I to do with all this.” You say breathless.

“You tell me. It’s all yours.” Your lips are meeting again. Tongues tagging at each other. For some reason the rich, sweet and completely irresistible taste of chocolate lingers on your lips, but he loves it and is drinking it up.

Jungkook finds that his hands are better at gripping your thigh and lifting it to wrap around his waist. His core moves into you and you feel how hard he is against you. You’re thankful for his thin pajama pants.

Your hands pull at the root of his hair, though it’s shorter you make it work, making him groan into your mouth. You both can’t fucking breath at this point, which is the only reason you’re pulling away. Your heavy breaths brushing against each other.

“jungk-” you’re moaning for him to take you to bed but he’s steps ahead of you. Your feet don’t have to fret cause he’s lifting you by the thighs to lay you on the edge of the bed.

You lay back on the bed but legs on his shoulder, he’s kneeling between your legs. Your pants are still on but not for long. In a swift motion you’re left in your plain black panties. The ones with the little bow. He chuckles at the detail. When you see what he’s laughing at you get self conscious. Jungkook looks up at you confused why you’re closing your legs.

“I didn’t know we’d be in this position, so these are the one I brought.” You try to explain yourself cheeks blushing red. He doesn’t know why you’re so insecure about the detail. He loves them.

For a quick kiss he’s on his feet hovering over you. “it’s okay, I like my gifts wrapped in bows.” He smirks and the comment has you calling out his name in shock. peck. He’s back on his knees staring at your core. The bow is a detail he’ll miss but he’d gotta take them off. Fuck is all he can think when your cunt is right in front of him, wet. Is this where he’s meant to die, right in your cunt from suffocation cause he won’t be able to detach himself from you.

Your legs are planted on his shoulder, your ass just at the edge of the bed. When he first swipes his tongue through your folds, it takes you by surprise. Gosh you missed him being right there.

“fuck” you whimper the sound not being able to be masked. Your slick, probably mixed with his saliva, drips down your cunt, down his chin. His nose is so deep in it that some of your juices run up his nose. Is this how fucking cocaine sniffers feel?  He can’t wait till his cock is buried snuggly it. He sniffs in, on purpose this time, takin git once more. You grind on his face making him suck harder at your clit. You’re getting dizzy and gripping hard at the sheets. His nails dig into your thighs harshly, the pain causing pleasure.

Everything is so intense you can’t tell apart your orgasm. Fuck you can’t be coming this fast from just his tongue. Shit. “Jungkook. Don’t stop” You whine the intense feeling approaching quick, your walls tightening and fluttering around his tongue. Jungkook’s so carried away he only realizes you’re coming when your legs are shaking. He drinks everything that leaves and it’s only when you’re pulling his head back from overstimulation that he realizes he should take a breath. He’s starved can you blame him?

“you’re so gorgeous baby.” he says peppering kisses on your thighs. “Wanna do that again for me.” He’d absolutely would eat you out for a second time in a row. And you’d love that but you just want to feel him.

You’re moving up the bed and he’s hovering over you kissing your jaw. Your palms meet his ass in a teasing smack.

“Missed this ass.” You smile under him. jungkook just chuckles. you want to add on but his finger stuffing your tight cunt has you silent, gasping for air.

Jungkook smiles down at your pleasure strained face. “mm? not so talkative now?”

He thinks he’s got you. Then you slide down your hand down his abs, he knows where your hand travels and though it’ll destroy his ego, he lets you do it. “so big” you bite your bottom lip as you start stroking him, using your own juices as lubricate. He’s walls are falling. Your hand wrapped around him, has him burying his moans in the croak of your neck.

It’s a competition huh? he loves those second and fucking your cunt first.

You’re stroking him in his pants and he’s pumping his fingers in your cunt. He’s kissing you to hide his moans. It’s a fucking competition and he’s losing. He can’t lose. His hand leaves your cunt to grab at your wrist. You stop. He pulls you away from him. if you went on any longer, he’d be done for and the night wouldn’t end the way he wants. He hasn’t been touched in a year, unless it’s talking about those times you sexted, but it doesn’t count. It feels different when it’s your hands.

“why’d you do that?” you whine.

“If you did that you wouldn’t have gotten the orgasms I have left for you.” You don’t respond. you won’t argue, you do want them.

His fingers are back to pumping and even sooner than before your climax approaches. He wishes he could count just how much you flutter around his finger but he’s too busy looking at your face, pleasure written all over it. and its pride that fills him, knowing he’s the one giving it to you.

Jungkook moves away and you watch how he licks his fingers clean. The way he smiles at you after, is disgustingly hot.

“Take off your pants.” You tell him.

“You take off your shirt.” He reciprocates, you’d forgotten you’d even been wearing anything.

Jungkook is spoiled by the sight before him, your chest sprawled out for him to taste. So, he leans down and wraps his tongue around a nipple. His hand lost at the other side. You love all the foreplay, really, but you want him. you’ve been thinking about it for forever.

“Jungkook.” You call. He hums saying you have his attention. “I want you.”

There’s nothing more he wants.

“Want you too baby.” He says grabbing his cock and aligning it with your entrance. Then he remembers.

“fuck” he whispers. You sit up and wander what has him holding back.

“what?”

“I don’t have a condom.” He knows he doesn’t have one, it’d be weird, it’s not like he was coming on this trip expecting to fuck you.

“Why?” he stares at you confused.

“I didn’t expect fucking to be on the itinerary.”

Oh yeah, you laugh at himself.

“Do you?”

“Nope. Why would I have them.” He just shrugs his shoulders.

He’s gonna lose it. “Are you on the pill?” it’s his only option.

That’s when you shake your head. “Got off when we broke up.”

Okay so what is he gonna do, his cock hard and your cunt right in front of him.

“Jungkook come on you can pull out.” You whine pulling him forward.

She shakes his head. “god no. I almost lost my mind from your hand. It’d lose it in your pussy.” You smile, you shouldn’t be laughing cause you won’t be able to fuck. But you just can’t help but smile at the fact that he almost lost himself just from your hand. You’ve got no clue on what to do. You really need to fuck him.

“Wait--” he looks at you. “This is a lover’s cabin.” You say but he waits for you to elaborate and make sense.

“wouldn’t they have condoms in the cupboard or something.” He didn’t think of that.

So, as you stand you walk over to the cupboard roughly open it almost tipping it over. “Bingo!” you celebrate pulling out a long string of condoms. Your saving grace.

You carefully pull out one and toss it to jungkook.

“Relax aren’t they the one’s you usually use,” you say when you see the look on his face. They do look like they’ve just been purchased and placed. He’s so thankful right now. He leans against the head board and you watch how he gracefully he strokes himself and slips it on, your mouth drools but you’re too needy. You’ll do that another day.

“Come ride cow girl.” He welcomes you when he’s all done. You stretch your legs over him, centering yourself. His hands are quick to spread across your ass, landing a light tap.

He helps you centre himself at your entrance. His brows scrunch together when he feels your tight warmth slide down him. he definitely isn’t going to last long, maybe he’ll hold on till you come but after that is not promised.

His hand loosely holds at your throat, just enough to tilt it back slightly and leave wet kisses and marks everywhere on your skin.

You sliding up and down him feels great but he couldn’t help himself but move his fingers to touch your clit. In pure pleasure you’re wrapping your arms around him and kissing him. you love this position, how he nudges at your back, how intimate it feels, the way you’re so close after being so far away. The cold is barely in mind. Jungkook can’t express how much he’s missed you.

You love it.

But what you love more is how he pulls at your hair, just softly. “Love fucking my cock huh?” he asks but you’re unable to answer his hips jutting up into you with great speed. Jungkook could get carried away with the way your boob bounce but he chooses to say focus. “You like that huh?” he smirks but your eyes are closed, the pleasure of his intense strokes taking you out.

“Yeah, love fucking you kook.” You whimper out.

He’s thrusting harder and you’re moaning louder. “you look so pretty taking me baby. Wanna fuck you forever.”

You wish you.

Your body melts into his as you’re coming again, jungkook fucking into you for his own high which follows after yours. When he catches his breath, he’s laying you down and beside you just after throwing the filled condom.

“I’m gonna get the bath started.” He says planting a quick kiss on your shoulder.

You’re too drained to stand so when he’s back to come get you you’re dozing off. “come on baby I’ve got to get you cleaned up.”

You groan. “Then after a I can make you cocoa.”

“I’m so tired kook.” You whine.

“I knowww.” he coos. Next thing you know he’s lifting you, bridal style. “it’s okay I’ve got you.”

“Hmm. Don’t move.” Jungkook whines when you threaten to stand and start your day. You two have already slept in because of your late-night endeavours.

“I have to kook. We have so much for our day.”

“Ugh! Fine. But first give me your hand.” He demands the action has you confused but you give it to him. when he has it, he’s giving you a billion kisses. “I love you.” He doesn’t think it’s too soon cause—well he doesn’t know it just felt right to say.

“I love you too now let me go.” He makes sure not to unhand you until you say it more ‘meaningfully’ according to him.

---

You and jungkook decided to retry ice skating (you were hell bent on not going skiing.)

As you’re skating jungkook slides to the half wall, after telling you he has to take a call. You shoo him away after telling you’ll be fine alone (for the meantime).

“Any news?” jungkook was nervous when he got the call from Namjoon. This is a very important call from him, it determines what the hell he’s gonna choose. Quit or get transferred.

“Yeah. it’s been approved.” Jungkook is still for a moment.

“Seriously?” it almost feels like a dream.

“Yeah, had to do a lot of convincing but they agreed.” He’s so grateful for Namjoon. He’s gonna miss him. Jungkook looks over to you, gliding not great but better, and you’re smiling this time. So, he’s happy. You’re happy.

“Thank you, man,”

Namjoon smiles, he knows how much this means. “No problem.” The call cuts.

This just seals a lot “kook look out.” He pockets his phone and as he’s turning to you, you slam into him. You haven’t gotten to the knowing how to stop just yet. Maybe next time.

“You okay, baby.” He says holding onto you by your waist

You let out a dramatic breath that has him smiling. “Yeah, but I’m getting kinda tired.” You say out of breath and letting your weight fall into his arms.

“I’m getting hungry too.” You’ve spent a good amount of time ice skating so you decide to leave it for next time.

--

“what’s the plan for tonight.” He asks as you eat.

“Hmm. For the first time I don’t know.” You both laugh. “We could go out for dinner—ohhh the hot tub--.” You forgot about it cause none of you ever wanted to use it, honestly you didn’t even expect the place to have a hot tub.

“I like the sound of that.”

The steam of the hot tub hovers lazily on the surface of the water. The steam curls around jungkook as his gaze locks on you. Body dry cause you haven’t gotten in yet. You walk onto the deck, the dim but still bright enough lights radiant off your skin, as though the sun has come to pay him a visit at night.

His breath is caught.

The bikini hugs you in all the ways that made his thoughts falter, the curves of your body illuminated by the soft glow of the light. He swallows hard, his mouth dry despite being surround by water. You make him weak, so much that he looks only at you, even though your attention is else were. You try to find a place to hook your towels.

And then you turn around to smile at him in victory of finding a place to hang them. He nods acknowledging but no paying attention.

He leans back slightly, the water lapping at his shoulders as his eyes roam you, mesmerized. There’s some thing unworldly about you, something he can’t quite put into words. It wasn’t just the way you looked, that made him trip for you. It was the way you carried yourself, the way your body swayed as you moved closer to him.

His arms immediately reach out to envelope you. “Enjoying the view?” you tease, your voice relaxing into the tub and his warmth.

The chuckle he releases is low, “you know I am.”

Your giggle like a melody. You wrap your arms around him and he loses his stability for a second before regaining it. “careful.” He murmurs to you, a slow smile spreading across his face. “I might drown.”

“I wouldn’t want that.” you peck his lips.

You relax for a while just taking in the night and each other presence.

Jungkook has been meaning to ask, the question eating at his mind.  “Do you want to go back to Korea with me?” it sounds like a dumb question, you came together so you will be leaving together.

But the double meaning lies within and he’s desperate to know your answer.

“What are you saying?” you coo at him. “Aren’t we already going back together.” You’re talking about the tangible stuff, the tickets, the plane, the flying, even the landing and going home. But he doesn’t mean that.

After pecking your shoulder water sticking to his lips, he explains. “I don’t mean physically.”

You stare down at him eyes softening. “kook” you realize the seriousness of his question. And for a second jungkook senses scepticism. So, he panics.

“If it’s bout my job, I’m working on it.” His voice is quick.

That was a fear of yours, even more that he wouldn’t want to move. Jungkook has thought about it, the move was a rush decision he never spoke to anyone about it to ask their opinion or whatever. And honestly the move didn’t bring him much joy, besides the opportunity to adventure Jeju. But apart from that he was away from his family, his friends and you. Everything that made his life.

“Seriously?” you say more shocked than anything else.

“Yeah, Namjoon called me. My transfer got approved.”

 You gasp the water swashing from your movement. “don’t lie to me”

He laughs. “I’m not.”

“I thought you said getting it approved is hard.” You’re finding this so hard to believe.

“It is, I guess I got lucky.”

You squeal moving in to hug him.

“When did you start all this.” It’s along process so he had to start early.

“Honestly before we broke up. I wanted to surprise you if it got approved. But then-” you shush him from going on further.

“So, what would have you done if it didn’t get approved.” Your tone drops.

Jungkook sighs looking around in thought. “would’ve fucking quit.” it’s funny how easy the idea is for him, former him would have struggled with the question. “I’m tired of being so far from you.”

“Same.” He places a longer and soft kiss on your lips.

“So, you wanna go back with me?” His voice is playful, as he looks up at you through wet lashes.

“Mhm.” You smile, leaning slightly closer to him, your fingertips tracing lazy circles on his shoulder. “I wanna go everywhere with you.”

The words hang in the air for a moment, warm and intimate, as his lips lifts into a small, boyish grin. “We can arrange that.”

Jungkook doesn’t mind being patched to your side like a little purse dog. In fact, the way he leans into you now, his hand slipping around your waist as if it were second nature, says he’d prefer it. His thumb grazes your hip absentmindedly, a small gesture that feels both possessive and endearing.

“I’m gonna miss it.” you say leaning into Jungkook's shoulder with a pout. You wait patiently for your flight. “Feels like we just started the trip.”

Jungkook reaches over to cup your hand in his. He then interlocks your fingers and brings it to his lips; the action causes you to smile softly. He really likes to do that. It’d never been a trait of his before, so you’re intrigued, to why he does it all of a sudden. “We can come back one day. together.”

“Yeah together.” You reassure. You like this. Like having him with you.

[3 months later]

“Jimin if you’re gonna wear that to my fucking wedding you’re not coming.” You announce to a jimin too focused on the light blue suit he’s in. in the mirror you can spot his cheeky grin. He’s not gonna wear a freaking light blue suit, it’s not on the colour scheme, plus he doesn’t like how it makes him look.

He turns to look at jungkook who’s standing on his own pedestal looking into the mirror. Touching and teasing at the suit. “Jungkook you’re not gonna let her do that right?.” Jungkook just shrugs his shoulders at jimin. He’s not pleased with the answer. He knew the dude was down bad, but not this down bad. “Bro!”

“she’s the boss.” Jungkook raises his hands in surrender and you smirk in your seat.

“Come on man…standup.” he fists at Jungkook who just laughs. As Jimin is stepping out to get out of the suit (he stayed so long in it you thought he might actually want to wear it.) and get changed, you swat him with a magazine and he’s quick to running out not wanting you to land another hit.

Now alone in the dressing room you walk up to jungkook. You lean your chin on his shoulder, your hands finding there way to his chest. He welcomes them with his own. “You look so handsome.” Your voices hums sweetly by his ear. Jungkook lifts up both of your hands to place soft and warm kisses on them. The action has you blushing red. The ring on your finger and indication of why he liked to do it before. Plus, now, he just enjoys it., it makes you blush and he likes that.

“Mhm.” He hums against your wrists. “You like it?”

“I love it.” You take a hundredth glance at a preview of what he might wear at your wedding. If he chooses it’s what he wants. You love the cut on him. the colour complimenting his skin, and the style shows off his physique, not too much, but not too little. But all the buttons on the vest and shirt are gonna give you some trouble undoing.

Jungkook stares at you completely enamoured at the way you’re looking at it. You should be looking at him like that. “I think you might love the suit more than me.” He turns abruptly causing you to fall into his chest. He catches and keeps you stable with his firm hand on your lower back.

You place one hand on his chest and the other around his neck, bringing you much closer. “I might just.” Your lips could meet easily with how close you are. But you don’t move them and jungkook pouts at how you deny him the opportunity.

“I’m gonna take it off, not gonna let you love it more.” He nudges his nose with yours.

“Take it off.”

“Jeon Yn! I forgot how freaky you are.” You roll your eyes at how he’s already given you his last name, you like the sound of it though. Reminds you of how real this is, you’re not dreaming.

Trying to tease him more you move by his ear to whisper, “Not here though.”

Jungkook is biting his lower lip. “We should hurry then.” he moves to kiss your shoulder, your off-the-shoulder top giving him leeway to kiss your skin directly. He peppers more kisses from your shoulder to your neck before  you get carried away you’re prompting for him to turn around. He does, though reluctantly.

You giggle.

“Do you like it though?” your voice turns serious, as much as you like it and how you just want to see him in it the whole day. If he likes it matters.

“Yeah, it makes me look so…husband.” He smiles boyishly as he winks at you in the mirror.

“Oh-gosh.” You push yourself away from him to get back to your seat. You’re not gonna be here all day.

He turns to face you. Still standing on the pedestal. “When do I get to see you in your dress” His teeth play with his lip ring as he asks curiously. The thought of you in the gown exciting him.

“When I walk down the aisle.” You stare blankly, no room for discussion. And he doesn’t, you’ve been quite stern about him not seeing you in any bridal wear until the wedding. Which he doesn’t mind, he can wait.

“Make sure it’s a ball gown so that I can slip under and hide.” He gestures his hands to elaborate what he means.

You shake your head. It’s not your style, maybe when you were a child, but you’ve grown. “I’m not wearing a ball gown.”

Ditching the jacket, he places it next to you and stands closing your legs between his. He lowers himself so your nose is touching his. His arms trap you between him and the couch. You didn’t think he was not gonna get that kiss right? He kisses you softly, then again. Then a little harder the third time, this one lasting seconds longer. You hold on his waist for stability. He kisses you once more just for the sake.

“I’m very sure you’ll look divine in whatever you pick, baby.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: so that's that. I hope I've fixed your broken heart from I-redo. there are scenes that i couldn't fit in. Yes of course there are other activities they did, but if i wrote it all it would be boring and too long and would probably be pushed to next month. i wish i could've written more fluff but idk.

i will allow for story drabble request if you guys want that.

but yeah thanks, for reading, liking and commenting. much love. wishing you a happy new year.

story idea copyright of keen-li, 30.12.24

[viinchester]

Shape Of You

Warnings: Mentions of an injury and that it's being taken care of (nothing too graphic), Depictions of Sexual Content (Minors DNI!), Rough/Intense Sexual Content, could be considered Dubcon by coercion (not really imo, but just to be on the safe side), Themes of Possession and Objectification

Fandom: Dexter (TV Show/Series)

Pairing: Brian Moser/Rudy Cooper x F!Reader

Request: by Anon

Summary: Brian takes care of your injury after you've taken a nasty fall, however you can't help but feel like something's off about the situation. Unaware of his dark thoughts and oblivious to the deeper manipulation at play, you clear your mind by focussing on his comforting presence, and things quickly get heated.

Word Count: 3.271

My Masterlist

A/N: For some reason, I really struggled with this.😬 I rewrote it like 3 or 4 different times entirely, I hope it's not too noticable.😅 I was also unsure when exactly to refer to Brian as "Rudy" so I tried to only do it whenever the writing directly represents the Readers thoughts about him.💕 I still had a ton of fun writing this and I hope I could do the idea that anon had justice and that you guys like it!🙏🏼 I would really appreciate reposts/comments with feedback.👀 Feel free to request stuff, I always enjoy getting some inspiration to keep the writing going.💙

Brian knelt beside you, his touch gentle as he pressed the damp cloth to your leg. The sharp sting of the cut made you wince, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as the embarrassment of how it had happened.

You had tripped, just like you seemed to always do. This time, it had been over something small, a simple crack in the sidewalk, causing you to suddenly lie on the ground, blood welling up and staining your skin.

Heat rose in your cheeks in frustration at yourself and the fact that Brian now had to take care of you, but he was ever calm and didn't seem the least bit bothered.

Not saying much, he offered you a soft smile and then continued tending to your cut, his focus entirely on the injury itself.

He’d always been good at this type of stuff, fixing things while being composed and so in control — qualities you usually greatly admired in him.

But as you sat there in that moment, feeling the warmth of his touch, something didn’t seem right.

You knew you should be glad.

Here was your boyfriend, cleaning up your mess, like he so often did. You were fortunate, really, to have someone like him — patient and ready to swoop in when you inevitably fell again. So though you couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something was off, you did your best to simply brush it aside.

After all, this was Rudy. Sweet, dependable Rudy, who always seemed to know exactly what to do and was there for you whenever you stumbled — literally and figuratively.

And even if his fingers lingered just a little longer than necessary on your skin right now, it likely didn't mean anything. The way in which he inspected your bloodstained leg with a look of concentration reassured you further.

“You really should be more careful,” Brian suddenly said, his voice low and soothing. His gentle words and focused demeanor helped ease your nerves.

You chastised yourself for ever thinking twice about his actions. Your boyfriend was simply trying to watch out for you, that's all. Why were you even doubting him in the first place? Maybe it was just the pain from the cut or the embarrassment of tripping again. Or maybe it was the whole thing with the Ice Truck Killer going on at the moment.

Yes, that had to be it. It had probably made you more paranoid than you'd initially thought.

But you had absolutely nothing to worry about, because the sweet man kneeling in front of you was nothing like that monster.

Forcing yourself to relax a little, you sighed.

"I know," you mumbled, as he expertly bandaged your leg, secretly marveling at how steady his hands were.

It was easy to forget how awkward you felt in moments like this, with him so effortlessly tending to you. You crooked a smile at him then, but Brian didn’t meet your eyes right away. He was too busy inspecting his work, a subtle smirk of his own tugging at the corner of his mouth as he secured the bandage.

To you, he seemed satisfied with his patch job, but inside, something else simmered. He felt an almost childlike joy about the way you sat there, so vulnerable, your leg limp in his hands.

He liked seeing you this way — hurt, but not too hurt. Just enough to need him, to be reliable on him.

It stirred something deep inside of him.

“There,” he said, leaning back a little to admire the bandage. His eyes flickered up to meet yours, and for a split second, something unreadable passed between you, but it was gone almost as quickly as it came. “Does that feel better?”

You looked down at your leg and inspected the professionally wrapped bandage. It was not too tight and not too loose. It was perfect. Just like him.

Tension oozing from your body, you nodded and looked up at your boyfriend again, smiling earnestly. “Yeah, much better. Thank you.”

His smile widened just a fraction, not quite reaching his eyes. “You’re lucky I’m here to patch you up,” he said with a lightness in his voice that made you feel a little better. “I’d never let anything happen to you.”

The way he said it — his voice smooth and promising — made you smile, comforted by his presence.

Rudy really loved you, didn't he? He was always right there when you needed him.

He stood up and offered you his hand, and despite the slight apprehension earlier, you eagerly took it. His grip was firm and steady as he helped you to your feet, making sure that you avoided putting too much weight on your injured leg.

You pushed past any lingering odd emotions and focused on the fact that you were grateful for him. You had nothing to worry about — not with Rudy, not with the man who never made you feel stupid for being clumsy, who was always kind to you, the calm in your storm.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” you said softly, your voice carrying gratitude.

Brian's eyes flicked to yours, a faint twinkle in them. He felt content.

As he held your gaze for a moment longer, he could clearly see the relief and appreciation in you. It had him suppressing a grin, the way you were so easily fooled.

To him, you were perfect in your vulnerability, of course. A doll. Beautiful, delicate, and breakable. He liked you that way — liked the way your clumsiness brought you to him, having to be fixed, to be held together. Every scrape, every fall, was a small gift, an opportunity for him to touch you, to take care of you. To make you his again, piece by fragile piece. You were his creation, something he had molded with care and patience, and he was the only one who could keep you whole.

Or take you further apart, if he chose.

But for now, he was content to play the role you expected — your Rudy, the one who would always keep you safe.

He watched you as your eyes briefly flickered to his mouth and up again, and knew what you were going to do before you had even fully decided on it.

Slowly, you leaned in and brushed your lips against his, wanting to show him just how much you appreciated him.

Letting you take control for a moment, Brian allowed you to believe that you were doing something for him, even though he knew better. You were in his hands, for as long as you lived. The thought thrilled him in a way you could never know, in a way he would never let you see.

Keeping his lips perfectly still, Brian decided to act surprised by your sudden gesture, pausing for a few seconds, until he could just about feel you starting to pull away.

He kissed you back then, using every bit of his self-restraint to start softly, and his hand came up to cradle the back of your neck in a tender movement. Slowly, he deepened the kiss, daring to go further by tightening his grip on you slightly, almost imperceptibly.

After a few moments, you pulled back just enough to catch your breath, your heart beating faster. When you looked up at him, his smile was still there, and he looked as warm as ever to you. As you lost yourself inside his eyes, Brian felt that familiar pulse of satisfaction.

You didn’t know it, but you were already his, caught in the delicate web he had woven around you. He could see how much you trusted him and the unguarded naivety you held had been obvious to him from the very first moment that you two had met.

You were simply too brittle for this world. Too easily shattered by its sharp edges, too flimsy to protect yourself from the falls you constantly took. That’s why you needed him. That’s why you would always need him.

As his thumb stroked the pulse point along your neck, feeling the quickened beat beneath your skin, he smiled at you. It was a soft and loving smile, one he had perfected for you.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Brian now addressed your last sentence, his voice calm and encouraging, with only a tiny hint of something darker that you didn't seem to notice. “No matter how clumsy you are, I’ll always be there to fix you when you break.”

The words, meant to comfort you, immediately had their desired effect. You happily beamed up at him while blushing furiously.

“I’m really lucky to have you,” you told him and then leaned in again, kissing him softly and embracing the moment.

Wallowing in the comfort and warmth he provided you with, you slid your hands up his chest, deepening the kiss. You didn’t want to think or talk anymore, just enjoy the feeling of being with him.

Brian watched you through half-lidded eyes, noticing your movements growing more desperate with every passing second. He could feel the tension in your body — the way you were almost pleading for his control — and it amused him, in a way.

You didn’t even realize how effortlessly you fell into this role, how naturally you let yourself be pulled into his world.

Moving his hands down to your waist, he squeezed them a little tighter than usual, but you didn’t seem to notice the extra strength in his grip, too absorbed in your need.

When you grasped the hem of his shirt and tugged it up to pull over his head, he lifted his arms and let you, suppressing a smirk.

It was obvious to him that you needed this physical closeness. Your skin pressing against his, fingers now fumbling with his belt in a frenzy — you were letting go of any lingering doubts and focusing solely on him.

Feeling a sense of smugness, he guided you with quick, assertive movements, prying your clothes away with a roughness that seemed to match your urgency. You gasped as he yanked off your shirt and then dug his fingers into your skin, his touch simultaneously gentle and commanding. Leaning further into him, you longed for release already and how he always made everything else seem insignificant when you were together like this.

Brian’s lips determinedly traveled to your throat, kissing you with an insistent fervor now. You shuddered under the ferocity, but didn’t stop him. Didn’t want to stop him. His teeth grazed your skin, causing your head to fall back in an open-mouthed moan, arching your body against him, desperate for more. The heat of his passion overwhelmed you, pushing any thoughts of discomfort aside. Hands roamed your body, his traces both prodding and tranquilizing.

He could feel the way you were giving in to him and letting him take over, allowing him to guide you, and that’s exactly how he liked it. His grip on your waist tightened, his fingers digging in even more, and when you winced, he knew you felt it — though you never pulled away.

You wanted this. You needed him to be in charge.

When he led you into the bedroom, your discarded clothes left in the wake of his deliberate actions, his movements were filled with a raw intensity.

You shortly cringed at the sudden pain shooting through your injured leg when his weight pressed down on you as he pushed you onto the bed, but his lips crashing against yours with hunger made you almost immediately forget about any hurt. Kissing him back just as frantically, you wrapped your arms around his neck to cling onto him. He slipped his tongue between your lips almost forcefully, licking over every hidden crevice in your mouth with purpose. His hands roamed over your body and you moaned into Brian's mouth, his touch both a source of solace and pleasure for you.

Deep down on the inside a part of you noticed a subtle shift — Rudy was not being as gentle and careful as he normally was — but that part was swiftly drowned out by the sensations of everything else going on. All you could truly acknowledge in that moment was the incredible desire for him to make you forget everything but the feeling of him against you.

As if he somehow knew about what you’d felt, Brian interrupted the sloppy kiss and moved once more with intention and a vigor that sent your heart racing. His hands, bruising but controlled, pushed down the last bit of garment left between the two of you and you gasped as fresh air hit your intimate zone. You hadn't even realized how wet you'd gotten and now felt slightly ashamed at the way your body obviously liked the way he handled you and the way he'd been — and still was — pushing you and testing your limits, teetering the edges of breaking them.

He was still Rudy though, still the man who you trusted most in the world, so you didn't give it much more than a passing thought and decided to just roll with it.

Even though it would probably give you pause if you properly questioned it — the fact that he didn't usually act this way and only when you were injured or reliant on him in some way — for more than two seconds. But you didn’t question it for more than two seconds, couldn't, as your body deliciously responded and distracted you instead.

When Brian finally pushed into you, you cried out, your fingernails digging into his shoulders and leaving half-crescent-shaped moon indentions in his skin. He allowed you to adjust to his size for a short while, pushing his forehead against yours with his mouth hanging open in a silent groan as he relished in the feeling of being inside you.

After enough time passed for you to become used to him, you patted his shoulder and nodded ever so slightly, not capable of words.

Brian understood though, and immediately began to move, quickly setting a pace that was fast and demanding.

Pressing your eyes shut, you clung to him, wrapping your legs around him and pulling him impossibly closer — entirely missing the way his eyes were filled with something completely wild and dark. Focussing on the feeling of your boyfriend pushing and pulling inside of you, he soon began to hit that delicious spot deep in you, and you moaned loudly.

Brian leaned down then and you could feel his hot breath against your ear, his voice low and rough.

“You need me, don’t you?” he whispered, the words sending a shiver down your spine. You frantically nodded while gasping for air, unable to answer anything. “Whenever you need me, I am — and will — be there, every. single. time.”

He punctuated each word with a sharper and deeper thrust, angled directly at your sweet spot, leaving you choking for breath with tears in your eyes at one point. His words, though assertive, felt like a promise of security and care to you.

The room was heavy with heat, your breaths mingling, the sound of your bodies crashing together filling the space. Each push sent a jolt through you that made your head spin. You lost yourself in it all, in these repetitive motions, his touch, the feeling of his skin against yours.

One of his hands now moved to your clit and his movements became even more resolved and driven. He was controlling the moment, steering it exactly where he wanted, and your body responded accordingly. You could feel yourself being pulled in by the sensation, as he pushed you towards the edge.

“God, you’re so perfect like this,” Brian grunted, his voice a mix of command and encouragement. “Come on, it's alright. You’re mine, aren’t you? Just let go.”

Tears rose in your eyes as you felt your body react to both his words and actions, the increasing intensity overtaking everything else and throwing you into a rush of pure ecstasy.

Your fingers dug into his back, your breath ragged, and all at once you fell into the waves, pulled underneath by their impact. You couldn't breathe for a moment, until finally, with a twist from Brian's fingers and a sharp cry from you, you reached the surface again.

The release hit you hard, sending rows of pleasure crashing through your body, and all you could do was lie there and take it, face screwed up in the pleasure of it.

Brian followed soon after, his movements rough and forceful as he found his own release, breath hot against your neck as he groaned, low and deep.

For a moment, the world stilled as the both of you tried to calm your breathing, the overwhelming physical connection between the two of you leaving you in a daze. Your heart pounded in your chest, your body trembling beneath the weight of his body on you.

After what felt like ages, but was likely only seconds, Brian lifted himself up and out of you, leaving you feeling strangely empty at the loss of him.

He collapsed beside you then and the room fell into a heavy silence in the aftermath of what you'd done.

As he lay beside you, Brian's mind was a whirlpool of satisfaction and dark pleasure. He reveled in the way you’d clung to him, completely oblivious to the extent of his control. The contrast between your dependence on him and his calculated dominance over you joyed him immensely.

Lifting his head, he turned to you, his hand reaching out to gently brush your hair back from your face, his caress tender again and a stark difference from the intensity of the moments you’d shared just before. His fingers grazed over your skin, his touch so feather-light and soft, it immediately erased any lingering concerns in you.

It was an act, of course. A way to further embed his influence. The compassion was a calculated gesture, a way to reinforce the illusion of care while keeping you bound to him.

“Are you alright?” he asked carefully, his voice carrying a tone of worry that felt comforting, and you nodded, reassured by his touch.

He always knew how to make you feel cherished, and you clung to that sense of security.

He noted the way your body relaxed against his, your breathing steady and calm. The pretense of concern came naturally to him, a mask he wore so well.

His hand now rested on your cheek, his thumb brushing softly as he leaned in closer.

“I love you,” he whispered, the final nail in the coffin, as always, his gaze lingering on you and studying your relaxed and smitten features. To him, you were more than just a partner; you were a project, a creation he had formed. The sweetness in his voice was a facade that masked his true intentions.

He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, and you felt another wave of affection and safety. Any fleeting worries were overshadowed by his sedative presence. You knew he was there for you, providing the care and support you needed.

“I love you too,” you responded, wrapping your arms around him and drawing him closer, feeling his warmth envelop you.

And as you nestled closer, Brian’s thoughts were filled with a dark fulfillment. The control he wielded was subtle, deeply woven into the fabric of his relationship with you.

And you, in your innocent trust, had made it all too easy.

With the quiet settling in, you allowed yourself to sink into the comfort of his presence and fell asleep.

[mihii-i]

If I was born again.

Pairings: mizu x fem!reader

CW: sfw, female reader, reader’s fvcking dead, angst obviously there’s not enough angst and yeah I’m thirsty for mizu too but can we get some sad stuff cause I feel like some ppl ignore her character just cause she’s hot, wlw, depressed mizu, I mean she’s already depressed but it’s worse here, shame on u for dying reader, actually I came up with this myself why am I shaming the reader, spoilers for episode 8, the ending of the episode takes a different turn so no london, violence, blood, ptsd, mizu my love i feel bad for writing this now I don’t want her to be any worseee, ill post an apology later, not proofread.

A/N: wanted to do my own request that I came up with in the shower this time, and I saw a mizu x reader but in another life and I thought that the reincarnation concept was so cute so I wanted to write about it. But not before I make everyone sad u will be posting an apology later tho.🕯️

Slivers of faint light peeked through the heap of clouds masking the warm tinted sunset, illuminating the thick blankets of snow along the ground a soft pink. Mizu remained knelt outside the rugged wood walling of Master Eiji’s forge, her lips remaining sealed together as she blankly remained in the chilling ambience.

1658. Or was it 1660 already? She couldn’t keep track of the years anymore, the wash of helplessness nearly shutting her mind down altogether ever since the incident stripping you away from her. Everything was a blur throbbing in the back of her head as she stared off without aim, eyes heavy lidded as they bore into the gleaming distance shrouded by a blinding brightness of the sun’s rays. A low sigh pushed past her lips in a slow stream of air, fogging up before her in a cloud of her breath visible from the cold.

The silence was only broken by the howls of chilling wind assaulting the tense atmosphere, ripping through the gold of the horizon in quick rushes. Has it been one year? Or two? Mizu felt awful for being unable to count it. She didn’t want your spirit to presume the notion of your death being nothing of importance. Rather, the sight of your lifeless corpse only spirlaled her into a sensation worse than being cut open, one that drove her into a deep hole of hatred and despair.

Mizu felt every drop of blood in her body tensing in anguish at the memory alone, her throat running dry from the horrible memory. Everything in hindsight seemed unintelligible to her, frequenting the habit of forgetting the most basic of things on occasions as her mind was constantly astray. You were fine moments before—everything was fine before the sight of Edo charred to the ground, erupted in flames that engulfed the city in its scorching heat.

Worst of all, the sight of your lifeless body limp against the floorboards, damp in a pool of crimson as Fowler held the opening of his rifle pressed against the bullet buried into your chest. It remained ingrained in her skull like a tormenting disease, eating away at the remaining sanity of her soul, searing along the ends of her temples as the image stuck with her. It was all her fault wasn’t it? Perhaps if she wasn’t a monster, things could’ve been different.

She could’ve saved you.

It was all her fault.

Mizu couldn’t help but suffer at the cusp of her regret’s palms, the thought that her wrathful desire to seek revenge had finally bestowed its consequences upon her, by ripping away the woman she had loved most right out of her grasp. Her hands always seemed to jitter occasionally after your death, thumb idly tracing the fabric of her clothing, or any object in her grasp in the same delicate gesture she’d caress your face.

The cold sting continued to bat against her bare cheek as Mizu remained knelt, legs tucked behind her as she sank in the heaping snow below her. Eyes fluttering shut, her knee bumped against the rim of her kasa for a brief moment, a momentary disturbance she paid no mind to. Mizu squeezed her eyes shut, brows knitting together with the tension creasing along her face as her hands remained planted on her lap firmly. Almost as if she sought to hide her eyes from the view of this cruel world, masking the part of her that lapped at her as the source of her hatred, and ultimately the goal behind those devilish eyes driving you to your death. 

An eerie creak, followed by the soft crunch of something digging into the crystalline snow sharply caught Mizu’s attention, raising an eyebrow in her disassociated state as she kept herself dug into the snow, unmoving. Eiji’s familiar voice rang within the flushed shell of her ear, his hoarse tone beholding a tinge of sympathy for the child he took in at a point.

“How long has it been since she passed?”

Mizu shrugged, blinking her eyes open to stare down at her hands. The gleaming cerulean was drained of even a slight glint of emotion but sorrow, her eyes practically dead in a wavering blue gradient.

“She’d hate me for even forgetting that. It was my fault. If I hadn’t-“

“Blaming yourself will not bring (Name) back, nor will it alleviate the pain of not having her with us.”

She only shook her head, tips of her fingers curling around the snow until the numbness spread through her hands as she breathed out a bitter scoff.

“(Name) didn’t even have to come with me to Edo, but she wanted to make sure I was safe. Because she was involved with me the consequences of my revenge caught up and Fowler fucking shot her. I couldn’t even protect her how is it not my fault?”

Eiji shook his head in response. Despite his lack of sight leaving him running his hand along objects and relying upon his hearing, he could sense the raw hatred scorching within Mizu. Yet it wasn’t toward anyone in particular. Not towards her targets like it usually was, but rather toward herself.

Mizu’s teeth grit together once more, recalling one painful memory after the other.

“She was covered in ash and burns when I retrieved her body. I couldn’t even bury her clean.” She thought back, a faint quiver racking her already shaky voice as if she was trying not to cry on the spot.

“Perhaps you’ll see her again in the next life. Rather than sulking, go pay respect to her and live on as she’d wish for you.”

With that reply, Eiji simply turned his back to Mizu, creaking the door open once more before shutting it behind him. Left alone with her thoughts in the cold, Mizu eyed the sun setting behind the distant horizon, taking note of the fact that it was getting quite late from the darkening sky in an enchanting scatter of purple—along with a star or two glowing in the distance.

You had been buried in the soil before Eiji’s forge when Mizu returned with your corpse hugged in her arms, held firmly against her chest with a deathly grip. She simply couldn’t risk your body being found by anybody else, atleast hoping to grant your physical form peace after death as a sort of compensation from the gnawing guilt of being unable to protect you in your final moments. In short, Mizu couldn’t bear the thought of even your body being in the presence of someone else. You would always be under her watch, even if you were no longer there.

Even if she could no longer hear your sweet laugh, your kindness in how you treated her, your warmth when you held her close to yourself..

Mizu shook off those thoughts hesitantly as she lowered her head, a pained expression flashing across her face. Pulling her quivering lower lip between the pressured bite of her teeth, attempting to hold back the tears threatening to prick at the corner of her eyes once more, she rose to her feet weakly as her feet dragged along the bundles of snow crowding her body. Even moons after you passed, she should’ve gotten used to this. But she just couldn’t.

Dragging herself lazily along the back of Eiji’s forge, her steps lacking the usual will to move forward reflected the weakness blistered within Mizu’s shattered heart. She could barely bring herself to even perform simple tasks in these recent years, often forcing herself to function normally for the sake of being alive.

Yet she always wondered the question what for? Certainly not for you, as you were deceased. Perhaps to crave the warmth of yours she missed? Pretend you were alive? She didn’t know anymore. Maybe she was just living for the hell of it, going through the motions like a mindless soldier working their ass off day and night.

…

Mizu stood at the foot of your grave, her eyes beholding a somber hint dimmed within as her gaze tiredly traced the kanji scratched onto the stone upright where you had been buried. Her expression seemed to soften at the sentiment of being with you in a way which your soul resided rather than your physical form. As excruciating as it felt for her to not have you by her side knowing you were dead, it was oddly poetic in a way.

Swallowing back the sob crawling up her throat, Mizu knelt before the stone coated in a thick white layer of crystals, carefully extending her arm to run her fingertips along the dusty rock whilst feeling the bumps of the carvings engraved into your tomb. Your voice echoed within her ear in an unending melody, plunging her into the more pleasant memories of you two, like an eternity of sunshine overtaken by an abrupt storm.

She breathed out a contented hum, still trying to control the maelstrom of emotions raging within her threatening to spill out at any given moment. There was only a small flower beginning to wilt beside the corner of your grave, along with a burnt out incense stick buried deep into the snow. Mizu took a mental note to replenish the items near your grave, along with potentially brewing you some tea to share. Perhaps you’d still want to drink with her in the afterlife?

However, Mizu couldn’t help but dwell upon the swordfather’s words that he spoke regarding the next time she’d be with you again. The confines of her mind could only ponder the scenario so far, yet a shred of hope continued to race within her as she smiled to herself at the thought.

Truly being together in another life in the future…maybe you could actually be happy with her.

Maybe she could take care of you. Perhaps even a family if the two of you wanted.

Just maybe in another life, she could protect you. Unlike how she failed in this one, she swears to protect you in the next.

Glancing around, she rasped out a quiet string of words after making sure nobody was around her. Words that she would only say to you even as she spoke to a discolored, lifeless corpse buried deep into the earth. But despite being dead, she knew you would hear them.

“You’re probably sick of me saying sorry for failing to protect you. But if we end up together in another life…I promise I’ll love you forever, (Name). I’ll protect you and cherish you like I couldn’t in this life.”

Her now downturned eyes raked along the sight of your grave, tracing the writing on it once more as her irises fixated on each character carved into the stone. Another soft whisper left her lips, quieter than the last one as a vague shake ingrained itself in her voice.

“I love you, (Name).”

—

Crackles of burning flames cried in the distance in angry orange sparks emanating from the waves of fire tearing down building after building, hovering dangerously close to your wounded body as trickles of blood seeped from the spot where the bullet was dug into your chest. You only caught Mizu’s worried form in the corner of your blurred vision as her palm rested along your crimson soaked chest, the warm blood only streaking along her hand as she attempted to ease your strained coughs.

“Stay with me, I- I’ll find Fowler soon and avenge you, just-“

A loud clank bruising against the back of her neck cut her words short, the broad Irish man towering over your twitching body as Mizu dragged her fingers against the bruised skin of her nape where Fowler had struck her with the stock of his rifle. His tall figure loomed over you as you lay helpless, soaked in your own blood spilled from where he had already fired a bullet into you.

All you could do was lay weakly in the pool of warm blood sticking to your clothes, the tint of red spreading up the fabric of your attire as that murderous emerald stare wrenched into your mind in a surge of fear. You desperately took in rapid, shallow breaths of air in an apprehensive, panicked state as Fowler drew closer to you, hyperventilating as the head of the rifle angled itself directly toward your chest once more.

Instead of firing another bullet to clash against the one already embedded into your flesh, he harshly jabbed the muzzle against your wound, earning a piercing yell from you at the excruciating pain.

Your agonizing screams twisted like a spear cranking deeper into Mizu’s chest, filling her with an aching wave of helplessness as her own wounds limited her to only being able to crawl toward you against her stomach slowly. The grotesque sight of Fowler taking pleasure in spilling more of your blood stung at her, mind nearly breaking in half as she drained her lungs dry with calls of your name in her incapacitated state.

Clawing her way against the floorboards, her fingers dug into the crevices of each plank of wood as leverage to hoist herself forward in your direction, reaching out. The sudden drive of adrenaline coursing through every vein in her body, dipping itself in her blood as it overtook her with nothing but desperation and anger was able to propel her forward, causing her to stagger to her wobbly feet as Fowler continued to torment you with that wicked grin.

Abruptly, the air fogged heavily with a tense atmosphere lingering in the area as the screams came to a sudden halt. Only the indistinct drip of damp flesh dragging against fresh blood bounced off the burning walls, ceasing as Fowler withdrew his rifle from your chest.

Once Mizu finally looked up, her heart nearly stopped in disbelief, dropping to the pits of her stomach as she felt her skin run cold, goosebumps blooming along it in contrast to the flames around her. Met with the sight of your lifeless body, still against the ground as your eyes lost any light that presided in them, while spread out against the ground unmoving.

…

“I’m sorry.”

…

…

…

————

“Hey, wake up.”

You groggily blinked open your eyes at the abrupt voice startling you awake, lashes sticking your eyes together as you struggled to wake back up. Back pressed to the bench, you took in the bright sights of the crowd moving forth in the complex, not paying any mind to your phone buzzing in your pocket and vibrating against your skin. Letting out a deep yawn, you pressed a hand to your eyelid, rubbing yourself awake in confusion.

Huh. You could’ve sworn you just had a strange dream, yet you couldn’t remember much from it—if anything at all in fact. It was hard to even piece together the blur of whether it was a happy or unpleasant dream. It felt like a mix of both, to be frank. Remembering the voice that woke you up, you swiftly darted your head in both directions, finding a stranger staring at you in confusion against your right shoulder.

Something about her seemed oddly familiar. You’re sure you’ve never met this person before, yet that dark hair let down as the front was neatly combed to the side…maybe her lowered expression accentuated by her thick eyebrows? Maybe those gorgeous blue eyes must have caught your attention, you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

The stranger looked equally as bewildered as you, her mouth slightly parted as she stared intently with the same expression, as if she’d seen you before as well. You cleared your throat, breaking the awkward tension fostered between the two of you as you spoke.

“Ah. Sorry. Did you wake me up?”

She nodded bashfully, attempting to turn her fixated gaze away from you, but failing.

“Yeah. You were kind of leaning on my shoulder, and I wanted to walk around a bit.”

“Was I-? Shit, sorry that’s embarrassing-“

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. It’s not everyday you have a stranger sleeping on your shoulder.” She responded with a small laugh, flicking her pointer finger along the orange tinted glasses folded and tucked in the front hem of her shirt.

Still sensing you were embarrassed, she nudged your shoulder, offering you up as she rose to her feet.

“Come walk with me. It would be nice to have some company that I didn’t wanna depart with just yet.”

She urges you, to which you nod, moving side by side to catch up with her as you strolled around campus.

Right. You were currently in your college campus. How the hell did you even forget where you were?

“I never caught your name?”

“Mizu.” She replied firmly, following up almost in an instant. “Yours?”

“(Name).”

She nodded, eyes transfixed on you for a heartbeat as if she recalled your name somewhere.

Strangely enough, you felt at ease by this woman’s side, a peculiar twinge of comfort breathing like an aromatic oil diffused within you. Midway, you caught sight of a small stand constructed by a student paired with a line of others with cash bunched up in a fist, a thick stack of vermillion-orange covered books piled up as the student slid them towards others in exchange for cash.

Mizu clicked her tongue observantly, catching sight of the banner displayed. “Oh. They’re selling a book about Edo Japan. The Great Fire of 1657 specifically.” She blurted out, catching your attention to spin in her direction as she walked. You let out a small breath of laughter, spilling out that bizarre feeling building in you in the form of a joke.

“For some weird reason whenever someone mentions the great fire in Edo I get a weird sense of déjà vu.” You chuckle, hoping to not seem too weird in her eyes.

“Same here.”

…well that certainly caught your attention.

“Are- you being serious? Cause I was.”

She only nods, smiling faintly as you huffed in surprise. The two of you continued walking along the pavement in comfortable silence, the smile remaining on your face as you treaded along the stone shoulder to shoulder with Mizu, along with drags of your shoes against the ground grating in a satisfying noise. After a few eternities of silence, your voice cut through the quiet air.

“You know. I get reminded of this one poem when I think about it.”

“Enlighten me.”

“If I was born again, by Tsurayuki.”

“…I’ll have to check it out. Probably can’t find it online considering how old it may be.” She replies, amused. You found yourself once again growing attached to her upon hearing her charming laugh, taking in every aspect of her with that clouding sense of familiarity.

Maybe you have met this stranger before. In another life perhaps?

Whatever it is, you’ll probably find out what that random wave of affection is soon enough. Maybe it could be some supernatural stuff like the poem?

You recalled the poem’s lines within your head, putting the remaining energy you had left on your spent brain to remember the words strung out.

If I was born again,

I would have loved you longer.

If you’re reborn, wait for me.

Subconsciously reaching over, you took Mizu’s hand in your grasp, not uttering a word in hopes she wouldn’t pull away. Once more, it was an odd feeling. It felt almost natural to hold her hand like this, her skin soft, yet slight callouses defined along her palm ringing that puzzling familiarity again.

Her hand pressed into your touch further, lacing her fingers between yours casually in response.

Perhaps that feeling stems from something you may have shared with her in the past.

A/N: last fic before I go back to school now no more fics for a while because of fucking midterms anyway sorry for making yall cry im feeling evil (I sobbed like a baby making this ngl)

I TOOK SO LONG ITS 12 IN THE MORNING AND I HAVE SCHOOL WHAT also this was so hard to write towards the end so it got lazy because i couldn’t find a GOOD FUCKNG POEM ABOUT REINCARNATION we needed more mizu angst btw it’s necessary

Anyway goodnight me and Mizu are getting married after my midterm exams bring a fruit basket and flowers everyone 🕯️

[redsrooftopprincess]

Hi!! I love the way you write the bayverse boys, especially your headcanons! My favorite has to be your disability headcanons, I'm disabled and I love seeing representation. Would you be willing to write some headcanons of how the boys would act with a disabled partner? I know that's kind of a vague request since there are so many different ways to be disabled, but maybe some general headcanons on how they'd be with a partner that just has a hard time doing the "everyday" stuff, like getting out of bed/brushing teeth/walking around for a long time? I understand if you're not comfortable with writing this!

Hello, my dear anon! You're in luck! Luck? Is that the word? Idk. I, myself, am disabled! I'm only really comfortable writing the disabilities I'm intimately familiar with (without extensive conversation with people who do have them), but I CAN speak to the ol' classic combo of ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, and Sensory Processing Disorder (I have an alphabet full, but these are the main 3 that cause me daily issues).

AuDHD Reader Headcanons

Here are some ways our boys would actively love a Sensory Avoidant Autistic with ADHD (much, non-physical love to my fellow neurosparklies), and a few things they might have a little trouble with.

Leo

Don't worry about a thing, love. He's got you covered.

Need a dark quiet place to hide for a while? His room exists. It's already perfect.

Leo's a light sleeper, so your very soft morning alarm, *will* wake him, but he loves that he doesn't have to endure an obnoxious wake up call.

If he's not there to fix them himself, your current breakfast foods and drinks are already on the counter waiting for you. A lunch box / containers sitting behind them, just in case you can't eat yet.

Always has a portable safe food on hand in case you get distracted or forget to eat AND forgot what he laid out for you, as well as earplugs, sunglasses, a water bottle in whatever temperature you prefer, and a soft hoodie just in case you're having one of *those* days where *everything* is too much.

Expect him to be checking in every few hours. He doesn't want to overwhelm you with constant attention, but will ensure meds, water, and food happen.

If you can't speak, he'll usually be pretty good at picking up on what you need until you can talk again.

Issues:

Leo has OCD. While at first, he may be fine picking up after you when you leave a mess, it could build resentment after a while, so try not to keep your stuff in his room.

Leo's never had an issue with executive function, so expect him not to understand why you can't just *do* the thing. It'll take a bit for him to get that your brain needs to play before it's capable of doing a task that doesn't give you dopamine, and he may give you a hard time about "getting the important thing done first."

Raph

He's got this. Donnie's autistic, so he has an idea of what to expect... at least, he thinks he does. Hopes he does. Regardless, he'll figure it out.

He cleans the HELL out of his room the first time you come over, no chaotic mess or wierd smells allowed. He may have a bit of an issue *keeping* it that way, but if he notices it's affecting you, he'll handle it.

Pressure. Therapy. My guy gives the BIGGEST BESTEST hugs and will hold you as long for as tightly as you need. (This is really all of them, but I have a favorite, okay?)

OT anyone? Existing physically is hard when you feel like you have to tell every part of you, separately, what to do. Posture and overall muscle mass and flexibility suffer. Raph is there to make sure that doesn't happen. He won't be a dick about it, and he'll find ways to make the weightroom more sensory friendly, but he won't be okay with you neglecting yourself.

Similarly, nutrition! Raph has this uncanny ability to make just about ANYTHING into a safe food. Up to and including removing things after the dish is done cooking. If you order take out and you don't like mushrooms (or your disliked ingredient of choice), expect them to be removed before you even sit down. Multivitamins and hydration are also priority, and expect him to occasionally shove a water bottle in your face. He has a vested interest in you staying healthy.

He usually knows how and when to interrupt you to avoid the bulk of hyperfixation rage, and even when you snap at him, he knows not to take it personally. He's used to Donnie's "moments," so he'll just silently raise a brow ridge and wait for you to fully come back to earth.

Loves to sing and when you lay on his shell the reverb of his rich baritone feels niiiiiice. 10/10 for sensory regulation.

Listens oh so patiently to your info dumping. Half the time he has no idea what your saying, but he loves the sound of your voice and he loves how excited you get about your latest hyperfixation. Seeing you bouncy and bright eyed about... cereal or whatever, can fully turn his day around.

Issues:

Raphael is a physical guy, If you are touch averse, expect this to be a problem. He'll try not to take it personally, he knows it's not personal, Donnie doesn't like being touched either, but it does mess with his head for a while. During those times you're okay with physical contact, try and give him all the reassurance.

Can be a bit pushy about your health and safety at times. Usually it's easy to determine when there's an actual threat and when he's just being overprotective. He's getting better about the latter.

Donnie

'Tism twins!!!

While there is the usual social tapdance of "what type of neurospicy are you?" when you first meet, you both know how important it is to get as much information as possible right up front, so you know how to operate around each other.

Infodumping becomes an art form. You can see be working in silence for hours when one of you will start talking, already halfway through your own conversation in your head, and the other is instantly on board. You learn a LOT from each other about the most beautifully random things.

Expect him to keep a small fridge/pantry stocked with safe foods (when he remembers) and drinks (when he remembers). You more or less end up taking turns restocking everything when you notice the other's safe foods are out.

Fidgets. Everywhere.

Understanding that when either of you check in with the other to make sure they're staying on task, it's not passive aggressive, and your genuinely asking if they need help staying focused.

Has a "Sensory Regulation Chamber" in the lab that's essentially just quiet room stocked with anything either of you need to regulate. Sunglasses, fluffy sweaters, a drum set, you need it? He'll get it.

Issues:

Beware the usual issues that arise with Neurodivergent couples, when your 'tism clashes with his. If you need quiet and he needs to infodump, you can direct him elsewhere, but you're his person, and he wants to tell YOU. So expect pouting.

Hyperfixation rage on both sides can be a huge problem, and if you're not careful, it can quickly turn into a full blown fight over nothing.

Mike

It's all good, Angel. Whatever you need.

The most chill about it, and will fully roll with the punches whenever something happens he isn't expecting.

Snacks? Snacks. No need to worry about the stress of sitting down to, or putting together a whole meal. He's got your safe snacks on hand at all times.

His hoodie is now your hoodie. Full stop.

Want to watch the same movie, listen to the same song, play the same game, or eat the same food seventeen times in a row? Hell yeah! Let's go for the record!

Many with SPD (sensory processing disorder), know how helpful cannabis can be. He and Donnie are already tinkering with some plants, so he'll put a few aside to breed into something that tones down the world without leaving you tired and foggy.

Will listen to you infodump for hours with a goofy lovestruck smile on his face. You'll think he isn't listening, but he'll surprise you with something later that shows just how closely he was.

Issues:

OVERSTIMULATION. And NOT in the fun way (maybe the fun way, but that wouldn't necessarily be an "issue"). Both he and his space are bright and loud and there's a lot of stuff with very little organization. which we all know isn't a problem... Until, suddenly, it really *really* is. Set up a quiet space. You will need it.

Similarly, he's got a bit of a codependency issue. They all do, really, but Mike's is pretty extreme. Before you, things were... dark. And now you're here and things are awesome and what do you mean you don't want to snuggle on the couch right now? Did he do something wrong? Handling touch aversion and your occasional need for solitude takes him a WHILE.

ALL OF 'EM

These boys are sensory heaven. It's like they were made for sensory regulation. From textured skin to big strong arms to their churr basically solving every problem in your world, if only for a little while, expect them to be your safe space and refuge.

...

Tag list

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo @sacred-holy-light @celeste-clearwater-06 @pheradream-15 @its-a-me-emmabee

[luveline]

could you please write an early!roan fic where maybe she thinks Y/N is actually just coming around to spend time with her and then she finds out that it’s actually cause of her eddie, and gets all grumpy like “i thought you loved me” and Y/N comforts her “i do love you, but i also love your dad!”

thank u for requesting!! eddie and roan 1k, fem

There's a distinct smell of burned toast coming from the trailer. You trust Eddie but you rush up the steps anyhow, alarmed to find him coughing in the kitchen, window thrown open. 

"Will you take her?" he asks you immediately. 

You spy Roan sitting at the kitchen table and swap her for your bag of groceries. She gasps and giggles at your sudden appearance, quick to wrap her arms around your neck when you offer your embrace. You walk her to the open door and stand there sucking in clean breaths as Eddie fans a dish towel around under the smoke alarm. "What's dad burning?" you ask. 

"Um. Bagels?" 

You rub her shoulder. "Hey, I missed you, huh? It's been a long time since I saw you." 

"I missed you too!" Roan says quickly, eager, wrapping her arms tighter around your neck to squish your cheeks together. 

You smile into her hug. You and Eddie have been busy once again, and when you did manage to steal a date night, Ro was at Wayne's. You really have missed the little girl and you intend to show it, stroking your fingers through her hair gently. She dissolves like always. 

"Shit," Eddie says, throwing two blackened bagels into the sink and running the water. "Shit, fuck. I'm sorry, girls, I don't know where my head's at." 

"Cream cheese can't fix that." 

"It's okay, dad," Roan says. "We can get burgers." 

"I can't always feed you burgers, babe, it's not good for you." Eddie rubs his hair out of his face. "And Y/N just got here from work, she doesn't wanna go out again." You're dying to flop on their couch, but if she wants a burger for dinner, who are you to stop her? Still, Eddie puts his foot down. "No, bub. I'll make some more bagels. It'll be yummy. We have salami and everything." 

"Uh," she whines, laying back in your arms. You nearly drop her. You laugh at her dramatics as she slowly drags herself back up, her eyes practically sparkling with an idea. "Me and you can go get burgers," she whispers. 

"I really am tired. Let's get burgers on the weekend, maybe." You don't like letting her down but you have to be a united front with Eddie. Usurping his authority helps no one, especially when she wants something she isn't going to get today. "And I'd miss dad." 

"Who cares about dad?" she says. 

You laugh. "I do! He's my boyfriend." 

"He's your what?" 

Eddie looks up from where he's cleaning. The burned bagels have been disposed of, the kitchen sink washed out and the toaster cleared of scorched crumbs. "You knew that, Ro." He sounds puzzled. 

"He's my prince," you say. "You know? The prince to my princess Polly." 

"What?" Roan stares at you with an extremely amusing expression, her eyebrows tugged in betrayal. 

"Sweetheart, you know me and daddy are together, don't you?" you ask, hosting her higher on your hip. "That's why we go on dates and stuff. And why he brings me flowers, why we had that anniversary dinner, remember, with the melted chocolate?" 

"I thought you loved me." 

"I love you so much," you say, looking to Eddie for assistance. He seems as lost as you feel. "Like, so much. But I love dad too. He's hard not to love, isn't he? He's handsome and funny, and he makes great grilled cheese–" 

Roan does not look happy. She pushes at your chest to be put down and sprints out of the kitchen to her bedroom, where you hear a clattering of things being pushed over and a whine filled to the brim with attitude. 

"Should I…" 

Eddie shakes his head. "In a minute. Let her be angry for a bit. This is her first heartbreak." 

You meander into him and pinch his waist. "Don't say that to me, that's awful. Poor baby, did she really not know we were dating?" 

"Of course she knows. She just forgets, 'cos she loves you and she thinks you're best friends" He wraps an arm over your shoulders. "Wow. I wonder if she thinks of me as the third wheel when we hang out." 

You take the bread knife out of his hand. "Don't bother with that. We're getting burgers." 

Eddie's laugh is more of a girly, cute giggle, like he's just had a shot. You elbow him in the stomach until he cuts it out, and beg forgiveness for being grouchy with a hug. You press your face into his neck and huff. "I missed you before you got me in trouble," you mumble. 

"Nuh-uh, that had nothing to do with me." He kisses your temple. "She loves you. It's nice. It's… You're awesome. It's great that she thinks you love her more than you love me, even if she's wrong." 

"I do love her more than I love you." 

"Are you trying to piss us both off? You can go get burgers by yourself." 

Roan is face down in her bed when you knock on her door a couple of minutes later, completely still. You pick up the plushies she's flung off her bed and sit them up in pride of place against the wall. "Princess, you know I love you," you say. "Don't you?" 

"Yeah." 

"But you know I love daddy too?" 

"Ugh." She shakes her head in disgust. 

"Ugh," you say agreeably. "You're my favourite, though." 

She turns very slightly to peek at you. "I am?" 

"Obviously. That's why I just told dad we were going for burgers whether he wanted to or not." You tickle her side until she laughs and turns on her back to escape you. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, I wasn't trying to. We're still friends, right?" 

"We're best friends." 

"That's what daddy said." You scoop her up into your side for a squish. "We're best friends forever," you whisper. 

She leans up to rub her nose against yours. 

[therealcocoshady]

Hey! I love your fics, would you be able write one of Marshall taking care of the reader while the reader is sick?

Author’s Note : thank you for your request 🖤. I made this a part of the Marshall + Lily series because why not 😉. Also… I think it is most fitting for Father’s Day 🖤.

Mama’s gon’ be alright

Synopsis : Reader is sick and Marshall has to take care of her and Lily.

You had been under the weather for days and, what your GP had told you was just a bad case of food poisoning was getting worse, in spite of you not being able to eat much. Even more curious was the fact that Marshall and Lily, who had been eating the same things as you were absolutely fine. On the weeks his youngest daughter wasn’t at his place, he was often at your house and you were more thankful than ever to have him around. Your stomach was hurting like hell and, overall, you were feeling like shit. That God, he was able to keep Lily distracted while you were able too lay down and get some rest. Her first birthday was fast approaching and she was now running around everywhere, with a lot of energy to spare. He spent a lot of time playing with her, as well as taking care of you, whether it was to massage your feet, cuddle with you or to help you with anything you needed.

- I’m sorry for this week, you mumbled.

- What are you talking about ? He asked with a raised eyebrow.

- You know… For being under the weather and stuff, you explained.

- Not your fault, babe, he said sympathetically.

- You know, I would have understood if you’d told me you’d rather stay home-, you began.

- I’m happy to be with you, he replied. I just hate seeing you like this.

- Me too, you groaned. Thanks for taking care of me. And for keeping Lily distracted.

- You don’t have to thank me, he chuckled. I told you. I’m happy to be here. Besides, I don’t know how you’d do if I wasn’t. Even if I’m tired after running after her all day.

- She’s growing up so fast, you commented with a smile.

- It’s crazy, he agreed.

As if she was able to sense that you were talking about her, you heard her call you, signaling that she had woken up for her nap. You let out a grunt as you got up from the bed to go and pick her up from her bed and Marshall looked at you with a worried look.

- Tell me again why you don’t want to go back to your GP ? He asked.

- He said it’s food poisoning and basically dismissed my symptoms, you groaned. I’m not going back there.

- You can’t stay like this, babe, he said.

- I can still work and change diapers, now, can’t I ? You almost snapped. It’ll pass.

- Forget I said anything, he sighed

You went to Lily’s room and she seemed genuinely excited to see you, which brought a smile to your face. You regretted not being able to spend too much time playing with her. You went to kiss her and pick her up but you immediately felt a sharp pain in your stomach, causing you to let out a scream.

- Mama ? Lily asked with a worried voice.

- I-I’m fine, baby, you said as reassuringly as you could.

- Y/N, are you alright ?! Marshall asked as he entered the room.

- It hurts, you said. Oh my God, it hurts so bad…

- Go and lay back down, I got this, he said.

- Her diaper needs changing, you said.

- Got this, he shrugged.

- Are you sure ? You asked.

- I haven’t changed a diaper in a while but, unless they now include a Bluetooth feature, I think I can handle it, he said with a smile.

- Ok, you conceded. I’m here if you need me.

You gave up and went back to your bedroom where you laid back down. You were feeling exhausted and a bit feverish. Every passing minute, things seemed to be getting worse and, even though you were frustrated with yourself for not being able to care for Lily on your own, you were thankful that Marshall was here. Once he was done with Lily’s diaper, he came to check up on you. She was in his arms, playing with his chain. Ever since you had started dating, roughly six months ago, they had gotten really close. She simply loved him and, whenever he was around, they would have a blast. He was very patient with her and, whenever he was playing with her, his inner child came out. At first, you were a bit worried. You knew being a single mom wasn’t exactly glamorous and would probably be a turn-off for many men, but Marshall didn’t care one bit. Knowing you had a four month-old when you met didn’t prevent him for flirting with you. It took two months for you to give in on the attraction and go on a first date with him and, ever since, he had been a staple presence in Lily’s life. In fact, a lot of your dates included her. He understood that you were a single mom to a very young kid and he consistently showed you that he respected that. He was always mindful of your schedule and, since he was a parent himself, you were in agreement that kids came first. You actually enjoyed dating a man who had three grown daughters, and you often talked about the struggles of parenting, you with a baby, him with teenagers and young adults. In many ways, Marshall was a blessing and him being a girl Dad meant that you easily trusted him when it came to Lily. In fact, he was the only one capable of reassuring you, when you were doubting yourself, scared of doing something wrong, feeling guilty for not following everyone’s advice. He made a point of reminding you of what a great mom you were to Lily, and how lucky she was to have you, often praising your hands-on parenting.

- Are you alright ? He asked as he sat on the bed and let Lily crawl to you.

- I think I just need some rest, you said. It’ll pass…

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow but didn’t say much. The three of you were laying in bed while he was reading to Lily. She simply loved having stories read to her and her favorite reader ever was Marshall, who put a lot of efforts into it. He was great at using his vocal skills to give life to the characters and you often thought to yourself that, if he was to give up on the music industry, he should get into voicing characters. Whenever he read to Lily, she was super involved and interested. This time, you were glad she was captivated and didn’t see your face scrunched up in pain. She was giggling at the voices Marshall made up for the characters and staring at the book while he pointed to the various elements. You, on the other hand, were unable to focus and felt your eyes close as the room started spinning.

- Y/N ? Marshall asked. Babe ? Can you hear me ?

- Mmh yes, you mumbled. Headache that’s all….

- I’m taking you to the ER, he said firmly.

- No need, you said.

- That wasn’t a question, he replied. Either I’m taking you, or I’m calling 911. You choice.

- Not 911, you pleaded. I don’t want Lily to be worried if they take me in an ambulance.

- ER it is, then, he said.

- What about Lily, though ? You asked.

- We’ll take her with us, he shrugged. I’ll stay with her in the waiting room while they take care of you.

- Ok, you said sheepishly as you closed your eyes.

He placed a hand on your forehead and commented on your fever being too high before helping you get ready. Lily was nervously looking at you and you tried to appease her by smiling - however weakly. Seeing as you were in no state to drive, Marshall drove your car to the hospital. He had packed a few snacks and toys for Lily, in case she would get bored. You expected the wait to be quite long but, as soon as she saw you, the nurse called a doctor and you were taken to an examination room.

- Mama ? Lily asked nervously as they helped you sit on a wheelchair.

- I’ll be right back, my love, you said as you cupped her cheek. I won’t be long. You stay with Marshall ok ?

Marshall gave you a weak smile and you could see the worry on his face. He stayed with Lily in the waiting room, playing with some toys that were there. Thank God, she was rather calm and easy to deal with. About an hour later, a nurse came to call them and they were allowed to see you. You were laying in a hospital bed, wearing a hospital gown and hooked to an IV drip.

- Mama ! Lily shrieked as soon as she saw you. Hug ?

- Yes baby, give me a big hug, you said with a smile. I need this.

Marshall handed her to you and kissed the top of your head. The doctor came in and informed him that you had peritonitis, which meant that you needed emergency surgery.

- I have already called my parents, you said. They’re in Cabo right now but they’re taking the first flight to Detroit. They’ll look after Lily.

- I could have taken care of her, you know ? He said.

- She’s my daughter, you said. My responsibility. You don’t have to-

- I love Lily, he replied. I know I don’t have to do anything. I want to.

- Do you think you can look after her before they arrive ? You asked. It shouldn’t take too long. You’d just have to make sure she eats, give her a bath and put her to bed.

- Of course, he said.

- I’m sorry to ask this, you said apologetically. But Tracy is busy tonight, and-

- I told you, it’s no problem, he said with a smile.

You were rather nervous about leaving Marshall to take care of Lily. Not because you didn’t trust him but because, as a single mother, you had always refused to let anyone else to care for your daughter. Even finding a daycare you could trust had been a struggle. Deciding to have her on your own, you saw her as your responsibility. But having to undergo emergency surgery, you felt helpless. Especially since the doctors had implied that peritonitis could be fatal if not treated quickly. You held your little girl in your arms, stroking her hair.

- My parents’ flight should land late in the night, you commented.

- Good, he said. Do you need me to pick them at the airport ?

- No need. They’ll take a cab. I just need you to look after Lily before they arrive… and if anything were to happen to me-, you said in a creaking voice.

- Don’t be dramatic, my love, he said as he held your hand.

- This is not me being dramatic, you said. This is me being a single mom. So if anything happens, there is a folder in a safe under my bed. With all the necessary instructions. The combination is Lily’s birthday.

- Alright, he said. But nothing is going to happen to you. You’re going to have this surgery, you’re going to be well again, and you’ll be healthy just in time for her first birthday.

You nodded and felt a tear roll on your cheek. You were grateful he had forced you to come to the ER. Otherwise, God knows what would have happened. He kissed you and, as the surgeon came to see you, He took it as his cue to leave. He held Lily and they both said goodbye to you. She was calm in his arms, which put you at ease.

In the car on the way back home, though, she started to get a little fussy and call for you. He started to get a little more nervous, realizing it would be the first time he was alone with her for so long. So far, he had only been there for the « fun » moments like playing with her, reading to her or carrying her on his shoulders when the three of you went for a walk. This would be the first time he would have to actually care for her and, even though he had done all of this with his own kids and even Nate, it was a little stressful.

- It’s just the two of us tonight, Lily, he said softly as they arrived home. It’s a first, huh ? Don’t worry, we got this. But just so you know, it’s kind of a big deal for me. Because if your Mama knows we did a great job, I might score a few important points. Which might help if… you know, I ever work up the courage to ask for her hand.

- Hand ? She asked as she looked at hers.

- Yeah, he said with a smile. It’s when two people have so much fun together that the guy asks if they can stay like this forever. And I’m having a lot of fun with you girls. We’re not there yet, obviously but, you know… one day, maybe, I might pop the question. I’d like to. But it won’t happen if I blow this so, I need you to help me, ok, Lily ?

She looked at him and almost shrugged. Obviously, everything he was saying didn’t make a lot of sense to her but, hopefully, she would register the important part which involved being good until her grandparents arrived. Which made him realize that he would be meeting your parents for the first time ever without you there. Talk about nerve-wracking. It was already dinner time for Lily so he put her in her playpen and attempted to find and prepare something for her to eat. For the first time ever, he silently cursed you for being the kind of mom who made everything from scratch. How the hell was he supposed to compare ? He wasn’t a bad cook by any means but he didn’t even come close. He settled for some vegetable sticks with toast and yoghurt. It wasn’t a five star meal but that would have to make do. She was starting to be a little fussy so he did something he knew you would never agree to : he let her eat in front of the TV, watching cartoons. Thank God, she wasn’t one yet and her limited language skills would prevent her from snitching. After dinner, they played for a while and he was relieved that she seemed to be cooperating. However, things became a little more difficult when he attempted to bathe her. It was always a time you shared with her, a mother-daughter ritual in which he was never involved. Maybe it was because she could sense his nerves, or she was tired and starting to miss you, but she started crying straight away and no amount of little toys made her feel better. After bath time was over, he went to put her down but, once again, she didn’t cooperate too much. As soon as she was in her crib, she started crying again and he didn’t have it in his heart to leave her like this so he picked her up and sat in the armchair next to her bed, that you once used for breastfeeding and now mostly used for reading. She was staring at him with wet eyes and a quivering bottom lip.

- I know you miss your Mama, he said. I miss her too, you know ? But right now they’re taking care of her so that she can come home soon and give you tons of hugs and play with you. And soon enough, she’ll be back home and we’ll do fun stuff. We can even go back to the zoo and watch the ducks.

- Duck ? She asked with a smile.

- Yeah, I know you love ducks, baby, he chuckled.

He grabbed the duck plushy he bought for her when he had taken the both of you on a date to the museum and gave it to her. It was by far her favorite stuffed animal. Ever since she saw ducks for the first time, she had been obsessed with them. She was sitting on his lap, mindlessly playing with her toy and it was apparent that she was not intent on sleeping. He grabbed a book and decided to read to her, hoping she would fall asleep. However, after three stories, she was more awake than he was. He sighed and looked at his phone. Four hours had passed. By now, he should have received news from your surgery. Anxiety started to rise. What if something had happened ? What if they had not performed the surgery in time ? The thought of something happening to you was upsetting but thinking about it while he was holding your baby was nearly making him sick. He kissed the top of her head and he let her play with a couple of toys while he called the hospital to get some news. He was put through to a nurse.

- We meant to call you, Mr Mathers, she said. There have been complications…

His heart started to rush. He looked anxiously at Lily, who was playing with a doll. In half a second, his mind immediately went to the worst-case scenario. Was he going to have to look at your baby girl and tell her that her only parent was gone ?

- The peritonitis was caused by an untreated appendicitis and was in an advanced stage that caused sepsis, which in turn caused organ failure. We were able to treat her, though and she’s still recovering from anesthesia. We’re monitoring her and she should wake up soon.

- Thank God, he said. Is there anything I can do ?

- For now, nothing, she said. I’ll call you as soon as she wakes up. She will have to stay here for a while, so you might want to bring some personal effects.

He sighed in relief and, as soon as the call ended, he engulfed Lily in a big hug.

- She’s alright, he said. Your mama is alright.

- Mama ? She asked.

- Yes baby, he said as he kissed the top of her head. She’s sleeping now, but she is all good. So as soon as your grandparents arrive, I’m going to pack her stuff and bring it to her so that she can recover and come home to you as soon as possible.

- Mama ? Lily asked again.

- Very soon, I hope, he nodded. She might need a little help, though, but I’ll be there, don’t worry.

They played calmly for a little while but, when he tried to get her to sleep, she got fussy. Evidently, without you by her side, her little routine was off and she was all upset about it. He resorted to the method he used when his own kids wouldn’t sleep : he laid on the floor, next to her bed and held her hand through the bed rails.

- I’m not leaving until you sleep, ok baby ? He said softly. Now you need to rest. The sooner you sleep, the sooner you get to see your mama.

He stayed like this for a while, humming lullabies and losing track of time. Eventually, he heard her soft snores and smiled to himself. They had officially survived and, if he said so himself, he had done pretty good. It had been a while since he’d had to take care of a baby - since Stevie was one, basically - but he wasn’t too rusty after all. And with Lily, the idea of having to do it all over again wasn’t too bad. He was in love with you and he knew you were a package deal. Thank God, your baby girl happened to be the cutest child on earth, right after his own daughters. She was still firmly holding his fingers in her small hand, not letting go. He smiled and yawned before closing his eyes and eventually falling asleep on the carpet.

He was awoken a couple of hours later by the sound of the door opening. He jumped before quietly going downstairs, making sure Lily was still asleep. He immediately recognized your parents from the family pictures displayed in the living room. He went to greet them with a handshake but your mom immediately hugged him.

- Hi, she said. Marshall, is it ?

- Indeed, he said. Nice to meet you.

- Likewise, your dad said. Although we wish it was under better circumstances.

- Of course, he hummed. I called the hospital earlier. They had some complications but she’s alright.

- Thank God, your mom said as she brought a hand to her heart. And thank God you were here to take care of Lily, too ! I knew Y/N moving here alone was a mistake ! And raising my poor Lily without a father… see, honey ? I told you we should move here ! What if Marshall had not been there ?

- She’s not alone, Marshall assured her. Don’t worry.

He tried to refrain from smiling. You had told him time and time again how much you had argued with your mom, about having Lily on your own, about moving from New York to Detroit… he knew that you loved your independence and that your mother could be a little too pervasive for your taste.

- Need help with your bags ? Marshall offered.

- It’s alright, your dad said. I’ll take these to the guest room. How is Lily ?

- She’s asleep right now, he replied. She was a bit fussy but she did good. I think it’s the first time being away from Y/N for so long.

- My poor baby, your mom said. Hopefully, Y/N will be back soon.

- Hopefully, yeah, Marshall said. I’m going to pack a bag and bring it to her.

- I can do it, your mother replied. I’m sure you have better things to do. Y/N mentioned you have kids. You must be eager to go back to them.

- All good, he replied. The eldest are in college and the youngest is at her mom’s, this week. I’ll let you get settled.

He went to your room and packed a bag for you, with some comfy clothes, toiletries, one of his hoodies (the one you always shamelessly stole from him), as well as one of Lily’s stuffed animals, that you kept in your room for when she would end up in your bed because she had a nightmare. He imagined just how hard it would be for you to be away from her. As he exited your room, he saw your mom going to Lily’s bedroom to check up on her. The little one was awoken by the creaking noise of the door and immediately started crying.

- Don’t cry, Lily, it’s just Granny, she cooed. I’ve come to take care of you.

She picked Lily up and tried to soothe her. The three of them went downstairs and Lily got to hug her grandpa. She seemed rather happy to see them and Marshall took it as his cue to leave. However, as soon as he put on his jacket, Lily started bawling, trying to reach for him. Her grandma tried to get her to stop crying but to no avail. He immediately took off his jacket and put it back where it was.

- It’s fine, baby, I’m not leaving just yet, ok ? He said softly.

- It’s just a tantrum, her grandma said. You can go.

- I don’t mind, he said.

He knew full well you hated the idea of letting a child cry and he couldn’t bring himself to go, seeing Lily like this. She seemed to panic at the idea of seeing him go. He grabbed her and held her close, reassuring her as much as he could. He realized that, of all the people in the room, he was the one she knew best. After all, even if they were not related, he saw her practically every day, whereas she only saw her grandparents every two to three months. He was the most familiar face in the room and it had been hard enough on her having to spend so much time without you.

- See ? I’m here, I’m staying, he cooed. No need to panic.

He rocked her for a minute and, eventually, she stopped wailing. She brought her hand to his face and stroked his beard. He kissed her forehead and went to put her to bed.

- So here’s what’s going to happen, baby, he said softly. I’m going to stay with you until you sleep, and then, I’m going to see Mama, alright ? Granny and Grandpa are going to take care of you. And I’ll see you very, very soon.

- Soon ? She repeated.

- Yeah baby, very soon, he nodded. As soon as possible. I’m going to miss you. But see ? We survived the night. Just the two of us. We did a good job. I’m proud of us, we’re a good team.

He planted a kiss on her forehead and put her to bed. And just like earlier, he held her hand until she was fast asleep. Then, he went back to the living room where your parents were having tea.

- She’s asleep, he said. I’ll leave you to get settled. Do you need anything ?

- I think we’re good, your father said. Thank you for handling her.

- No problem.

- She seems taken with you, your mother remarked with a grin.

- She’s used to me, he replied with a smile.

- We’re having a family dinner for Lily’s birthday next Friday, if Y/N is out of the hospital by then. Will you join us ? Your mother asked.

- Of course. I’d love to, he said.

He left and, as he got to the car, he smiled to himself. For a first encounter with his possible in-laws, it wasn’t too bad. It was in the early hours of the morning and he drove to the hospital to bring the bag he had prepared for you. As soon as he entered your room, he was relieved to see your face. You were awake and looked much healthier than before, though a little tired.

- Hi babe, he said with a smile. How’s my favorite girl ?

- A little loopy but that’s alright, you said with a smile. How is my favorite girl ?

- With your parents now, he said with a smile. She’s doing good. We survived the night. She misses you though.

- I miss her too, you confessed. I missed you as well.

- I was so worried for you, my love, he said as he kissed your temple.

- Thanks for taking me here, you said. If you hadn’t, God knows what would have happened…

- I don’t want to think about it, he said as he kissed your hair.

- How are you ? You asked.

- Tired but ok, he said with a smile. Survived my first meeting with your parents. That’s a milestone.

- Oh my god, you said. I didn’t even realize… how did it go ? Was my mom weird ? She’s like that sometimes but-

- Your parents are lovely, he assured you. They invited me to dinner for Lily’s birthday.

- That’s a good sign, you conceded. But if you don’t want to, you don’t-

- I want to, he chuckled. I love Lily. I love you. I want to be here.

- We’re lucky to have you, you said as you let your head roll on his shoulder.

You talked for a while, Marshall’s arm around your shoulder, your head on his chest. His presence was incredibly comforting. You didn’t really like hospitals but him being there made it bearable.

- I should be out of here in three days, you explained. But I won’t be able to go back to work straight away, I’m sorry…

- Don’t you dare apologize for this, he scolded. I’m not here as your boss, I’m here as your boyfriend.

- Still, I’m annoyed, we had all these things planned, the meeting with Dre…, you continued.

- Work is just work, he said. For now, all you have to do is rest and get better. Stay home a while, rest as much as you can…

- With my mom around ? Not a chance, you scoffed. I love her but she’s so… her. If I have to live with her for a week and have her tell me how to handle Lily, I will lose it, babe.

- Don’t go home, then, he shrugged. Come to my place. I’ll take care of you.

- Oh, no, I didn’t mean… it’s fine, you said. Don’t worry. I can’t just barge in there with my daughter and-

- Why not ? He asked. I can make a room for Lily’s in Nate’s old space. I can even baby proof the house.

- You don’t have to do this, you said. It’s fine.

- Let me take care of you, he insisted. I love you. I’m literally asking for it.

- We’ll see, you said.

- Now you better rest, he commanded.

- I’m starting to have double vision, you said with a yawn.

- Close your eyes, babe, he chuckled. You don’t want to see two of me.

- Two Marshalls ? You giggled. I might have a few ideas…

He chortled and kissed you chastely on the lips. He stayed in the room with you as you went to sleep, watching the serene expression on your face. As soon as he was sure you were asleep, he grabbed his phone and searched for tips on how to baby proof his house. Just in case. Because, after all, doing that Dad stuff all over again didn’t seem too bad, after the night he spent looking after Lily.

[edgeray]

Heyyooo!! I was wondering if you could make an Arle x afab reader with like a beauty and the beast plot?? Arle’s curse is slowly killing her though which is why her arms turned black and the only way she can save herself (this curse could also be affecting the House of the Hearth, up to you) is if she finds someone whom she can open up her heart to and they accept her fully and love her back in return! It doesn’t have to be exactly like that but I do think having a beauty and the beast au with arle x reader would be pretty fun to see.

Cursed Human

(Arlecchino x Fem! Reader)

A/N - Hi anon! This is a super interesting AU anon! If you choose to request as an anon again make sure to give yourself a name/emoji 🫶. I actually really love this idea. This gives a little bit of hanahaki au vibes (which is something separate that I should write and have been meaning to write, ack– too many wip). This will lean more into dark fairytale and will be based off of Arlecchino's backstory. (This turned out darker than I expected, and I'm very sorry for that.)  The switch up is crazy to me. 💀 How do I pull out horse girl au, platonic au, and domestic fluff, and then this shit? I'm versatile like that, I guess. But I promise it gets better after all the dark stuff.  Content warnings / info - afab reader, pretty dark, some brief religious notions, semi-graphic details of violence, a little bit of arlevie but only ‘cuz of the angst, hopefully not forgetting something, 1.8k words

Here tells the tale of a cursed monster. 

Peruere was said to be cursed from childbirth. A child who caused misfortune wherever and whenever, it was a surprise to none of the villagers when Arlecchino was dropped off at the doorstep of Crucabena, the head of an illegitimate orphanage. Misfortune began with the death of her birth mother. Afterwards, her father was stricken by an unknown illness, quickly becoming too ill to take care of her. The first day that Peruere arrived at the orphanage, the stocked vegetables and fruits had all rotten. And the first night, every child in the same room as her was suddenly struck with insomnia.   

(The pregnancy only intensified the already ill mother  in the first place. The stress from a newborn child and the death of his wife caused him to be ill. The recent intensity of humidity accelerated the spoilage of the produce. The mattresses were far too solid, the room was far too cold, and the piercing cries of Crucabena's daughter were far too loud to allow slumber.)  

The villagers deemed her as cursed, a threat to their quaint little town. They tried to persuade the town head, a powerful sorcerer, to eradicate the hell offspring. The town head rejected, suggesting that the mere existence of a child did not warrant taking away her life. Crucabena had stepped up to the conference, easing the villagers’ concerns by ensuring that the depravity would be beaten out of the wretched child. 

And Crucabena did just as she said she would. 

“Mother” had no issue every night carving the symbol of her archon into Arlecchino's skin in an effort to exercise the demon inside of the child. “Mother” sullied Peruere's once flawless skin with bruises, lacerations, and blood. The cursed child clawed and struggled away every night, and yet every night she only knew of the pain that was etched far past the layers of her skin, carved into her bones, and syringed into her veins. 

The wretched child became very familiar with the acute sting or the prickling ache. However, there was something else she became familiar with. While “Mother" dealt her pain, what Clervie dealt her was love.

Clervie was young and naive. Perhaps if the cursed child knew better, Clervie would not be tainted.  

“Mother” did not stop even when the screams of a six-year-old child rang through her ears. “Mother” did not stop when even her other children begged her to stop her demonstrations. “Mother” did not stop when her own daughter rose against her. “Mother” did not stop when her own daughter's blood spilt on her hands. 

Love is a strange thing. It can transform a meek sheep into a vengeful wolf. 

The same night that Clervie's life was extinguished, Peruere burned bright, hot enough to scorch Crucabena's life away. 

After hearing of the child's atrocity, the town head cursed the child, expeling her to a decrepit home amidst a dark forest, condemning her to a slow, painful death. Peruere will die a death befitting an unlovable, inhuman creature. For if she sins under the pretense of something so pure, then she shall forever be undeserving of it. Stripped from her final piece of humanity, her name, a new name is thrusted upon the child: Arlecchino, the Knave, the servant of a devil.

—

At Arlecchino's feet lay the corpses of the intrusive villagers, the ones that dared to enter her forest and prey upon her children. How dare they? 

It had been a decade since she had been cursed. A simmering fire burns within her veins, sometimes the constant ache so acute that Arlecchino believes that she is truly burning from within. She had long presumed that that was the very nature of her curse, that she would eventually burn from the inside like the very flames that consumed Crucabena. Her arms had attained the same color as char, the spread of the physical toll of her curse growing with each passing day. And her eyes, they gain red-crossed pupils, said to be the mark of a demon inside. 

After having been expelled, the villagers were ‘generous’ enough to give her an abandoned abode. With her hands, she made it into something liveable. After a few weeks of living in the forest, she encountered intruders on the eastern borders of her forest: children from another town, said to be cursed and so were being chased out by villagers with torches and pitchforks. Arlecchino had sheltered them, and they had remained with her since.

Arlecchino gives it another half-decade before the char completely consumes her body, and she will meet the same fate as “Mother.” But until then, she will protect her forest, her home, her children. Perhaps her children will grow strong enough to protect themselves when she is gone. 

Other children, in one way or another, made their way into her forest. One, whose mother had abandoned after giving birth to them, was left to die with nothing but a blanket bundled around them. Another, seeking a sanctuary to peacefully die was convinced otherwise, and now smiles everyday. Each and every child within her cabin had some tragedy placed unjustly on them, and so Arlecchino welcomed her arms to them. 

Arlecchino had taught them well, each child could not venture out beyond the woods for their own safety. But the villagers, across all five villages surrounding her forest, had grown bolder, determined to ‘exterminate vileness.’ 

She cannot protect her children for much longer. She will die, and her children–her nest of the outcasts, the abandoned, the cursed, the hurt–will be left to fend for themselves. Even she cannot escape fate, no matter how much she challenges it. That is the tragedy she must shoulder.  

She is tired. 

The warmth of her children, while welcomed, is not the same as the warmth she longs. The warmth of her children does not comfort her at nights when the bloodfire, so she calls it, creeps up, maiming any semblance of sleep. The warmth of her children does not undo or prevent the curse's effect, her arms still remain black, her hands still resembling the claws of a monster. The warmth of her children does not melt her frigid heart, does not make her any more human. 

She longs and longs for something she is destined to never receive. 

Because this is the most she deserves. 

—

One day, a person stumbles into her forest. She is neither a child or a malevolent aggressor. She encounters you, breathless and heaving as you clutch your bleeding side. Arlecchino can tell that you do not bear any spite towards her or her children, but she cannot deem you nonthreatening. 

“A-are you the Knave?” you're able to choke out, leaning against the tree.

“Would you like the misfortune of finding out?” Arlecchino forewarns, extending out her hands and showcasing her claws, remnants of other victims’ blood still on her fingers. You swallow thickly, your hand clutching onto the small dagger behind your back. 

“I'm… I'm looking for my child. They wandered into here and never came back. But… I refuse to believe that they're dead. They're alive, aren't they? You have them, don't you? Let me see them,” you boldly demand, despite your injured state. Your eyes burn with a dangerous determination, a familiar fire dancing among your pupils. 

“Are you unaware? That the Knave kidnaps and feeds on young children?” That was obviously a lie, but an effective lie that has dissuaded most villagers from entering her territory. 

You shook your head. “They're just rumors.”

“And how would you know?” 

You breathe in deeply. “I've heard of you. You're the first cursed child. But, I know why you were cursed. You wouldn't… you wouldn't do that.”

Arlecchino pauses, hesitance in her for the slightest moment. “I am cursed,” she says it like a shield, a wall that defends her from futile hopes. 

“The world isn't as just as most people like us to believe.”

The cursed human breathes deeply. “What is your name?” 

—

You were telling the truth. Arlecchino remembers one of her children yearning for their mother, the only source of comfort before they found the House. She takes you to her home, and you're reunited with your child.

Your child pleads with Arlecchino to allow you to stay, and begrudgingly, she does, to your amazement. You adjust well to living in the secluded home, often filling in for her the emotional support that the children always needed, but she could not provide. The children take to calling you ‘Mother.’ You joke with the children, insisting that Arlecchino was the ‘Father’ in that case.  

Something inside of her stirs when she does. It is both a familiar and foreign sensation, somehow a sweet and bitter taste in her mouth, soothing but perturbing at once. You are unbeknownst to this. 

There are traits that you learn about the cursed once-child, traits that you find endearing, and traits that you later learn to love. Although her words may be cutting, they can carry a tenderness with them. Her hands, that she so frequently despises, protect her children. There is no reason for you not to love them, despite their appearance. She utilizes her cursed status to protect all of you, and for that, how could you possibly see someone who is ‘cursed’ or ‘inhuman?’ 

One night, you lay awake, suddenly jolted by the sounds of scratching, originating from the room besides you. You approach the room, and view the forlorn sight of Arlecchino, hunched over and writhing in pain, the bloodfire overtaking her once more. Pained groans escape from her as her claws dig into the wall besides her, dragging them down as she searches for any sense of grounding. Her eyes glower, the color reminiscent of blood. It is in this moment where she looks nothing more like a beast. 

Still, you do not see her as such. Not when you take her hand, kissing each knuckle and finger, the same ones that had saved your child from danger, the same ones that had saved you. 

“Arlecchino,” you whisper out to her, and it calls out to her soul. The bloodfire weakens, and she gazes at you. Your eyes fill with a warmth that melts her.

“Don't,” she warns with a harsh gruff that wavers, attempting to wrench her hand out of her grasp, but she finds herself vulnerable when you grip tighter. You lean down, bringing your lips on her blackened skin, the very skin that signifies her inhumanity. The black gradient recedes, and you continue until you kiss up to her shoulder. By then, the charred hue only spreads up to her knuckles.

Shock envelops her expression, but she is hardly given the time to process when you slot your lips over hers. She sighs and leans in, bringing up her hand to cup your face. 

Her hands are neither clawed, nor charred at that moment, but the two of you hardly realize until the next morning. The bloodfire inside of Arlecchino dissipates.

Fate can be challenged, and destiny can be broken. Cursed or not, deserving of or not, Arlecchino will take what is rightfully hers. 

[rwi-writes]

A little bit of privacy

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial! This is my first piece of writing in a long time so I may be a bit rusty.

Fandom: Arcane Pairing: Silco x male!Reader (could be also read as gender neutral) Warnings: some tiny sexual innuendos, but nothing actually happens (even if it may seem like it will) Synopsis: Silco cannot stand being bothered unannounced, but nobody really questions it why. A man like him maybe just needs some alone time to de-stress from the hardships of being in control of an entire city.

Despite being a leader of quite a big faction within the Undercity, Silco fancied himself as a person who liked his privacy and alone time. Not that he got a lot of it, but even the evillest of men needed a break from controlling an entire city. So it was an unspoken rule among his people that, unless it was an emergency, all requests to see him must be transmitted through Silvika, and she will give them a time and day. But not everyone was up-to-date with this, and sometimes people would randomly burst into his office, unannounced and uninvited.

Such event happened on a pretty normal day during the golden age of Silco's control over the Undercity. Shimmer was flowing plentifully to and from the city through the newly constructed Hexgates. Every other random homeless person in the Undercity was addicted to the stuff. Other faction leaders made alliances just to get their hands on some of that shimmer. Everything was going good.

Silco was in his office, taking a well deserved break. When suddenly, the door opened wide to reveal two large men who looked like they had muscles instead of brains. The two meatheads walked in and started complaining about some people at the bar drinking too much and causing a scene. Silco didn't let them finish talking.

"Why are you telling me this? Do I look like the all-controlling force of the bar? Talk to someone who actually has time to deal with such mundane tasks." His tone was sharp and strict. It sent shivers down the two men's spines. Even they knew they fucked up by coming here, so they couldn't wait to leave and hope that their boss will forget about this.

He spoke a few words to dismiss them from his office.  As the door closed behind the two meatheads, Silco sighed. "I cannot stand these people sometimes." He groaned, moving his chair away from the desk. "Why can't they just let me be alone for two fucking seconds?"

A chuckle broke his train of thought. You got up from the confined space under the desk, stretching your muscles, hoping to get rid of the ache and pain. "A better question is why do I have to keep hiding from everyone?" You walked in front of Silco, taking your gun out of its holster and bringing it to your temple. "As your most trusted hitman, I could blow their brains out and leave no trace behind." You said, half seductively, knowing Silco enjoyed your little shows of power.

"Darling, if I let you kill every man that came in your path, I will be out of people to do my bidding." He responded in a low, steady voice. "Plus I like keeping my personal life private, away from the eyes of people who would rather want me dead than happy."

"All I am offering you is a solution to your problems..." You point the gun towards the door. "Just say the word and boom!" You say as you motion taking a shot at someone. But of course, you wouldn't do anything without your boss' permission. You put the gun back and turn to face Silco again.

Your eyes meet in a staring contest that last just enough for the both of you to burst into small laughter. Silco gently grabs your hand and gives it a kiss. Your hand caresses his scarred face. Your time together has resumed, and it won't be interrupted for another couple of hours. Life is good, even for the evil.

[koolades-world]

hiii i was wondering if you could write abt an asian mc ? with the brothers or the dateables i don't mind! i just think it would be funny to see yk asian mc who's a high achiever (so even at RAD when they know nothing abt magic they'll try to score high), always take off their shoes before entering a place (entering a place with shoes is forbidden !!), always cook rice or stuff from their country when on cooking duties ("wdym we already ate that when it was my turn last time?"), will make you special herbal tea if you're sick (first time i suggested to make tea for my ill white friend they laughed :( ), tells you to eat more and in the same fashion, whose love language is giving you food, etc... bonus point if mc swears in their mother tongue. And if the MC was living in their native country before going to the devildom, their ability to just nap anywhere as if it's normal.

As someone who grew up in an asian household it's just regular to me but i can picture the face Lucifer would make if the first time mc enter Dia's castle they take off their shoes casually or like MC stuffing Beel's mouth with food as if he just didn't swallow the biggest mouthful of udon ever saying "come on Beel you need food, you need strength to play Fangol"

For the nap thing i was thinking about my relatives who take nap on their wooden bad or just the floor during summer (cause its fresh yk). My grandma always said a hard bed is good for the back lol

Anyway no pressure!! Have a nice day and take care !

hi!! yes of course :)

i'm a different flavor of asian but some of the culture overlaps so this was fun to write! haha the amount of times my grandma has urged me to eat more is hard to count. oh and the amount of tea i drank when we went to visit. i'll never forget watching her make the tea because it was a whole experience

i'm half indian and someone actually requested an indian mc so that will be out tomorrow because doing these requests back to back easiest for me!

enjoy <3

Asian Mc

Lucifer

you're ALWAYS on him for the amount of coffee he drinks

you also always make sure he takes a break to eat dinner because he needs to eat in order to continue his work

despite how bothered he might seem sometimes, he really does value what you do for him

plus, you not only keep yourself in line, sometimes you do his brothers for him too. thanks on his behalf!

Mammon

once you grow closer, he's asking you to teach him swear words so he can cuss out lucifer

if you don’t, well, he’ll just pick them up when you swear and hope he can figure out what it means haha

if you want, feed him random words, or even compliments so when lucifer hears them, he'll just be confused haha

despite the fact that he's the demon, maybe you can help him in class

Levi

when he first meets you, he'd not sure what to expect

however he quickly learns you're the best at everything you do

this includes video games and everything of that manner

he's got competition now, but he has no clue how you got so good considering it was probably your first time at all of the games you've tried

Satan

he's impressed by your work ethic and desire to achieve

you got dropped in a totally new environment and instead of struggling to adjust like he predicted, you bounced back almost immediately and were at the top of your class like it was nothing!

he tried to ask you once why you seemed so determine to get the best grade and never asked again after the look you gave him

something the two of you can bond over, though, is tea! he can often be seen with a cup of tea so that's an easy conversation starter between the two of you if not homework instead

Asmo

while initially he thought you two might not get along, you actually do quite well

he's huge on no shoes in the house and especially in his room

after all, he wants to avoid bringing as many outside germs into his room as possible

can and will ask you to teach him how you make your special herbal teas because he hates being sick and genuinely just wants to know

Beel

he falls in love with your rice cooker

rice that easy and that quick? sign him up! if he didn't already love rice you've put him on it

he doesn't think he could ever part with you and your wonderful cooking

even if you do cook the same thing every time it's your turn, he will inhale it because not only is it delicious, but you're an amazing cook

Belphie

even he's impressed by your ability to fall asleep anywhere

at least he's always with his pillow and maybe a blanket but he's seen you just curled up on the porch waiting for someone to get home

but that sighting was rare, because he felt like he always saw you doing something

however he really appreciated all the little things you did for him, such as making his bed

[blackhairedjjun]

staying afloat - k.th

pairing: kang taehyun x gn reader | genre / tropes: angst, argument -> makeup, implied friends to lovers, office worker!taehyun, the subtlest of love confessions | word count: 899 | warnings: burnout and exhaustion from overwork

part of my 300 followers event (event masterlist)

prompt - HEAT: while engaged in a passionate argument with one another, sender, in the heat of the moment, blurts out “i love you!” to the receiver. think of like, that glorious trope where people have a huge argument and then suddenly sb drops the mic with “because i’m in love with you!” and silences the other person. u know the trope! (requested by anon)

author's notes: HI ANON im sorry this took sooooo long. as i said, this was hard for me to write bc i already did the heat prompt twice before and i didn't want to be too repetitive with the arguments... the argument here is a bit calmer and more one-sided on yn's part but i hope it still works!

“you are running yourself into the ground, taehyun!” you grab his shoulders and give him a little shake. taehyun watches you closely, and you can see the darkening circles under his eyes. 

he’s still standing before the threshold of your home, right in front of the door. with just one step he could walk in if you weren’t blocking his way. outside, the night air is so cold that you shivered instantly upon opening the door for him. the sky is dark, with neither moon nor stars, and the only light comes from the fluorescent bulb at the doorway.

“y/n, you’re up working too,” he says. his voice is steady but firm. “you can’t tell me what not to do when you’re also working like this.”

“i’m doing overtime for just one night, for god’s sake. but you 一 you’ve been so busy and tired for what, two weeks? you forget to answer my texts. forget!” you throw your hands up. “and you’ve never forgotten before, not in all the years that i’ve known you.”

taehyun stuffs his hands into his pockets and his gaze flickers away from yours for a second before it returns. though he tries to stand his ground, you notice the soft look in his eyes, laying bare the tiredness and worries weighing down on him.

“well, i’m here now. why won’t you let me make it up to you?”

“because it’s one in the morning and you’ve been staying up late for overtime and extra projects for what, two weeks now? you go home late and you wake up early, your boss dumps all this work on you, and you barely get any time off!” you take a step closer, now fully exiting the warmth of your home, to stand so close to him. “please, taehyun. it’s not that i don’t want to see you, but you’re so, so tired. i can see it in your face.”

you reach out to touch his face, but his expression goes taut and your hand hovers just inches away. he turns away from you before you can scan his eyes for the tired look you saw; a cold breeze blows by, causing both of you to shiver and pushing the bangs away from taehyun’s forehead.

he looks... sadder than what you remember. you remember how easily his face would light up before he took on his new position at his job; he would smile at the smallest of your remarks, his big eyes sparkling like jewels. you thought of the steady stream of texts from him day after day, reminding you to eat or commenting on a silly photo you took, and how that stream soon turned into a trickle. the memories make your body feel heavy.

taehyun says nothing for a few moments and just lets out a sigh. when he looks back at you there’s a pained look that wasn’t there before, and you feel an ache in your chest at the sight.

 “y/n, i... i don’t want you to worry about me like this. i can’t... i can take care of myself. please, please just trust me. i hate watching you worry like this.”

“oh, you hate watching me worry?” your tone rises before you even realize it. “and i hate watching you turn into this! you’re exhausted, taehyun. you’re not yourself anymore. i can’t even remember the last time i saw you smile! do you know how much it hurts to see the person you love lose himself like this?”

you tremble in your spot and your words start to trip over themselves. your emotions pile onto each other, keeping you from speaking straight: some anger, yes, but mostly disappointment, worry, loneliness, fear. “i ha一 i hate seeing you like this, taehyunie. i can’t一 i can’t watch一 i love you too much to see this一”

taehyun cuts you off to pull you into a hug. he holds onto you so tightly, as if trying to wrestle you away from the emotions gripping you. one of his hands makes his way through your hair. angry tears prick at your eyes but you relax in his hold, finally letting out a sob.

“i’m sorry,” he says, his hand combing through your hair then rubbing your back. “i know you’re just looking out for me... and you’re right. i am exhausted...”

something shifts and now you feel his full weight on you. now you’re the one holding him, his head moving to rest in the crook of your neck, his shoulders fully slumped. the weeks of exhaustion have finally caught up to him, and you wrap your arms around his waist to prop him up.

“i’m sorry, y/n,” he repeats. “for not... listening to you... for forgetting...”

your hold on him tightens and tears stream down your face, but you manage to speak. “i just don’t want you to hurt yourself...”

neither of you say anything more. taehyun doesn’t let go of you and sinks fully into your touch; despite the chill night air, he’s still warm in your arms. you let your tears fall freely as you keep a firm hold on the friend you love, as if letting go of him means he will sink and drown.

the night is so quiet that the murmur he lets out against your neck still comes out loud and clear.

“i love you too.”

[rootsofdread]

Hi! Can I request Trickster, Michael, Ghostface and Skull Merchant and Bubba with a survivor reader basically being goofy with the other survivors and fucking up gens every 5 seconds because their laughing and can't focus and when they get hooked they make jokes and try to annoy the hell out of the killer? And when it's time to escape they drop their stuff for the killer and leave cause they thought it was a fun match? GN reader pls :)

my first bubba request!! i loved writing him for you 🥺🥺

Bubba Sawyer / The Cannibal:

Bubba knows being in the Entity’s realm isn’t pleasant; it’s been a long time since he’s seen anyone have fun. So in all honesty — he kind of enjoys seeing you all have some fun. He’s the first to run over when he hears several explosions in a row from a generator, because he’s almost certain that it’s you, and he could always use a good laugh. You’re the first person in an even longer time to really make him smile, he loves getting to spend time with you during trials and he especially loves getting to laugh with you. For one trial, he can forget that he has a job to do. He can focus on you instead. His favorite thing is getting your gifts after the trials — he gets so excited seeing you leave something for him. He especially loves toolboxes, so he can work on his chainsaw, but he loves everything you give him. He always looks forward to seeing you again.

Michael Myers / The Shape:

Michael doesn’t really understand how or why you’re so comfortable being so…yourself in trials. It’s such a foreign concept to him. Everyone else is so focused on staying alive, but you, you’re…you’re out in the trials having fun, and laughing. He likes to sit and observe you from afar. You usually try to get him in on the joke, come on over here, Mikey, we’re all having fun, but he just shakes his head. Sometimes he gets closer to you and just looms while you and your fellow survivors cry laughing over your antics, exploding the generator you’re all working on at any possible turn. You’ll never get that done. He may seem judgemental, but really, he’s just…watching. He finds it entertaining, in a way, seeing some of you have fun here. He even feels a bit special when you take the time to leave him your things; he doesn’t necessarily have a use for them, but…it’s nice.

Danny Johnson / The Ghostface:

Danny is likely the only one that would be willing to join you in your antics; he seems to love a good laugh just as much as you do. Particularly, he loves either sneaking up on you by ending up just behind your shoulder and waiting to see how long it takes you to notice him, or by sneaking up on a teammate and not only waiting to see how long it takes them to notice, but also making gestures with his hands to try to get you to laugh, too. He loves how much fun you are — everyone else is such a buzzkill, he can’t imagine why, of course, but you just love to have fun here. You’re always laughing and smiling and making everyone else do the same, and it has him utterly smitten with you. You’re his favorite survivor to hang out with, and it absolutely delights him when you leave him your items at the exit gates. He takes everything you give him, and it’d be safe to assume he’s amassed a collection…somewhere.

Ji-Woon Hak / The Trickster:

Ji-Woon is a loose canon — for a long time, you were never sure how he would react to you, because it was almost always different. Sometimes he seemed annoyed by your antics, or amused, sometimes he completely ignored you and went for someone else; sometimes he was particularly bloodythirsty and you were his first target. It was always a toss-up. Over time, he gets more used to you and your shenanigans — he less feels the need to kill you for them and more just lets you have your fun. As long as you’re not specifically giving him problems, he doesn’t seem to really care. Sometimes, even, when he passes by you looking for someone else, he gives you a little smile or giggle, indicating he may just be amused by you now. And every time you leave him an item, you see him take it, and later, when he sees you outside of a trial, he hands it back to you with a genuine autograph.

Adriana Imai / The Skull Merchant:

Adriana, truthfully, will have none of it. She knows you won’t give her a challenge and she seems to not care much for that fact — she tends to leave you alone during trials and let you have your fun, slowly picking off your team members instead. Sometimes, she’ll give you a look when she passes by you, silently telling you to do something. Run, scream, hide, give her something to hunt you for. Yet, she seems almost flustered when you look back at her with that big grin on your face. She tends to let you go, too, always responding with you’re no fun if you ask her why, but you’ve always considered, perhaps, she has a soft spot for you. She’d never admit it. She does accept your items at the end, though. She knows she can find uses for them.

[themultifandomgal]

Hey you! I just read that you take requests for peaky blinders and I’m wondering if you could maybe write something for John x reader? Like from s1 when he calls for a family meeting, that he wants to marry Lizzie. But reader is there maybe she works with Grace at the bar and has known John since they were young. She was in love with him but he married Martha, reader helped with their kids and her births and when his wife died she stayed around to help John. But he never thought she looked at him like anything more than a brother. But Polly knew and Tommy too, so when John asks them about Lizzie in front of you. They all tell him he’s blind to not see how reader loves him and his kids. She is really sad cause she thinks he’s going through with the wedding to Lizzie but when he gets home that night and she’s watching the kids he finally talks to her and asks her how she really feels. Like he would see her in such a loving way he couldn’t even consider she’d ever want a man like him. A real cute ending would be lovely

John Shelby- Tell Me The Truth Pt1

I just realised writing this how similar to my last request this one is so this time I’ve used actual dialogue from the season 1. Might make this one into a little series. Hope you enjoy.

Also trigger warnings- swearing, talking about vomit, violence, the usual peaky blinders stuff.

“Oh for fucks sake” YN groans as a man vomits at the bar “I gotta clean that up now, fucking twat go ‘ome to ya wife”

“Why d’ya think I’m ‘ere love” the chap wipes the vomit from his mouth making YN shudder a little. Rolling her eyes YN goes to get her mop and bucket while she leaves Freddie and Tommy to talk, although knowing it may end up in someone getting hurt

“Hi YN” Finn, the youngest Shelby sibling says smiling at her

“Hey Finn, why aren’t ya at school” the boy shrugs his shoulders

“Borin’”

“It may be borin’ but do ya wanna end up like ya brothers? an alcoholic, an other a deceiver, another married at 17 because he fucked some poor girl. Get yourself some juice then head back to school”

“Fine” the boy whines but does as he���s told, well kind off. YN doesn’t need to know that he’s took the juice and headed off home.

Walking back to the bar with a mop and bucket and some other cleaning supplies, she now sees Tommy and Freddie holding Danny up. Glass and chairs thrown everywhere

“Oh hell did I do it again?” he asks

“You did it again Danny”

“Miss YN I’m so sorry” Danny cries

“It’s ok Danny” YN says sympathising with him. She knows better than anyone how the war has changed so many people and families. She worked as a nurse to help the injured soldiers. Combat Fatigue, or shell shock is what they called it when men would return home, but they weren’t themselves. Unfortunately Danny, once a sweet caring man, now has moments where he forgets where he is. Just a noise could set him off. Knowing this YN knows that she shouldn’t be harsh on him. It’s not his fault

“Mr Shelby you have to do something about him”

“Damn right Harry. You pay the peaky blinders a lot of money for protection. Your the law around here now, aren’t ya Tommy?” Freddie say as Tommy takes a swig of whiskey

“And what would you suggest? Hm? Putting a bullet through his head? Kill an innocent man? Thought you would have done enough of that during the war”

“YN back to work” Harry says pointing at the girl

“Sorry ‘man’s business’ right? that’s a load of fucking bollocks and you know that”

“Harry get YN to drop the bill off at the betting shop. We’ll take care of this” Tommy says putting his cap back on and walking out of the bar

“I don’t know why you’re still involved with that lot” Harry mutters grabbing a broom. YN shrugs

“Grew up with John boy didn’t I. They’re family”

“Yet the man you love married another. I’d leave them before they break you” with that Harry gets to sweeping the floor. What Harry said hurt YN, not the part about them breaking her, no. They wouldn’t do that, the Shelby’s all treat YN as family. The part that hurt YN was that John married Martha, YN’s best friend. Tommy always said it was only because he got her pregnant and wanted to do the right thing, but YN always wondered if he hadn’t of got Martha pregnant would he have ever married her? Would’ve he and YN had a chance? Well it’s to late now. John married Martha and now is a widower with 4 children who YN had help Polly deliver.

Later that evening YN walks home, having to pass Johns house where she can hear the chaos that is bath and bed time. Going against her better judgement, YN finds her feet making their way to Johns house and knocking on the door. A disheveled John answers the door

“Oh thank god your here. I don’t know how Martha did this everyday” sighing YN gives him a weak smile entering his house

“Just get a glass of whiskey for me for when we’re done”

[crazyk-imagine]

Hi there, hope you're doing well. I would love to request a fic where the reader is Sirius Black's wife who reunites with him after he escapes from Azkaban, takes care of him e.g. feeding him and grooming him, and helping him get better. Cheers!

Part II: Coming Home to You

Pairing: Sirius Black x Wife!reader

Characters: Wife!reader, Sirius Black, Marlene McKinnon, Alice Longbottom, Dorcas Meadowes, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans nee Potter, James Potter, Remus Lupin

Warnings: Angst, fluff, lots of stuff going on, I needed some background into, the reader is super traumatized bc of her powers, Sirius has missed his girl for too damn long, sad but good reuniting, this series is getting away from me, there's a lot going on the more you read, writing the deaths or the memories really hurts guys, but I'm doing it for you all even though no one asked

Word Count: 3,880

*Soooo, this became part of a short series, enjoy :)

A/N: Don't forget to ask if y'all want to be apart of the tag list, I love it when y'all ask :) <33

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You close the door, securing the cottage with a few simple shield spells; a reoccurring task since Halloween night all those years ago.

The small stack of paper on your counter reminds you of why you left to get supplies in the first place.

You place the basket on the counter and reach for the papers, the gnawing feeling returns to your stomach.

You knew going to Hogwarts after the night Harry lost his parents and lost... family would never be an easy task.

Trying to ask McGonagall to write letters to inform you of everything going on wasn’t the safest option but you felt there was no other way for you to check in on things… and make sure Harry’s okay.

It’s been too long for him to remember you and you’re sure he’ll feel like you abandoned him.

You sigh, resting your hands on the countertop, overthinking about the endless possibilities again.

The pain in your heart worsens whenever you think about the sweet innocent child who's had to endure the weight of the cruel and evil world on his own in ways you hoped never would happen to him.

You wipe away the fallen tears, remembering when Dumbledore stopped you before you left Hogwarts, informing you that he felt it was safer if you weren’t in contact with the child.

You regret not leaving something for him to know you’re out there, to let him know he has a safe place or just- someone to talk to and know there's someone who will take care of him.

You sigh and open the letter, only to find no letter at all. “Oh, Merlin.” Sirius’ wanted poster, you’ve seen it before but this- this was new. “You escaped? Oh, for Merlin’s sake.”

You lift the paper closer to you, wondering if this is somehow a trick. You shake your head, "Sirius what are you trying to do?"

-

He never knew what happened to you once he entered his cell. Although he never gave up the thought of seeing you again.

That's what kept him going, the thought of his little bird waiting for him, fighting to get him out.

It was all he needed and the reason he paws at your door.

-

Scratches on your door startle you, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin. "Oh, Merlin!" You take a deep breath, placing your hand over your heart to calm you. ‘What the-’

An idea pops into your head, "is that you Kit?" As you make your way to the door, a shadow catches your eye. "Kit-" You blink as your jaw drops while staring at the dark-haired dog. "S- so it's true."

You gulp down the saliva that's built up in your throat. "You did it. You escaped." You shake your head, ordering him to get inside so you can close the door before anyone knows where you are. “Hurry up.”

He trails inside, standing beside the door, watching as you franticly spell the place. He lowers his head, not used to seeing you be so frantic and paranoid before.

You spin around and stare at him with a face of pain. "Change back," you order him, tears trickling down your cheeks. “Please change back. I need,” you take a deep breath. “I need to see you.”

He trails into the kitchen, not wanting you to see his disheveled, dirty, and scrawny body.

“Sirius?” You step closer to the kitchen entrance. “Don’t leave.”

How could he leave when he's just found you?

He steps out, stopping in front of you.

“Is this real?”

“I should be the one asking you that,” he responds with a scratchy voice as if he hasn’t talked in a… while.

You can’t hold back anymore and wrap your arms around him, crying into him, burrowing your head deeper into his neck. "I've missed you so much."

His arms shake as he raises them, wanting to hug you back but feeling as though he is unworthy to do so.

Your arms tighten around him, "you can hug me, hug me as tight as you can and don't let go."

His fingers dig into the fabric of your shirt.

You pull back, letting him continue to keep his grasp on you. "How are you?"

He stares at you.

"What's wrong?"

He doesn't realize it until he's hunched over, gripping your shirt tightly in his grasp.

You hold the man as he breaks down, whispering comforting words into his ear. giving him the comfort and safety, he hasn't had in over a decade.

Eventually you get him to let go and the two of you sit down at the kitchen table. "Why are you here, Sirius?"

"A man can't come by to see his wife."

You purse your lips. "A man can but you're not just any man, you forget I've known you since we were children."

He zones out, keeping his gaze on the table.

You wander towards your cabinets, fixing something for him to drink. You place it down in front of him. "Drink it."

His eyes lazily glance over it before turning to you. "What's in it?"

"Do you trust me?"

He pauses, raising a brow. Do you know? "Have you given me a reason not to?"

You shrug, "you tell me."

He's never known you to be so harsh, even if you're not acting like it. "Would you poison the only person who cares enough to find you?"

"Or maybe you knew where I was."

"Are you waiting for me to- to do something?"

“Would you?”

“Do you even know what I went through? I-”

You slam your hands on the table and push yourself up, “no, Sirius.” You angrily point your finger in his face. “You don’t know what I went through when you- when you walked out of here, leaving me on my own.”

“You were safer here.”

“I was left to fight the traitor of our friend group.”

He pauses, turning towards you; if he had animalistic features, his ears would be tucked down along with his tail being stuck between his legs. “What are you talking about?”

Were the rumors true?

Had you been left to deal with Peter once he left?

His gaze moves onto the floor, feeling shame because he couldn’t protect his friend, nay his brother and his wife but to find out he put you in danger… Merlin, that hurts.

He’s been hurt before, his heart broke worse than it did when he thought he was in love with his first girlfriend (granted he was in his third year) but this is a different kind of pain; he’s genuinely hurt. It feels as if his heart is close to breaking.

"I do understand, Sirius and-” You throw yourself onto him, hugging him tightly against you, kissing the top of his head before pulling back to stare into his glossy eyes, wiping away the stray tears that trickle down his cheeks. “When you went to Azkaban. You- I thought I lost you.”

“You didn’t,” he huffs. “Now you have a cowardly husband.”

“Who says he is cowardly?” You sniffle. “Who? Tell me so I can handle them.”

“I am. You honestly can’t tell me otherwise, can you?”

You nod, staring at him with those loving eyes he’s only been told have been directed at him more than a dozen times by… them.

To see them for himself when he’s at his lowest, Merlin, you know how to make a man’s heart race.

“I can because no other man, other than yourself, would put himself in the most dangerous situation he could the way you did.”

“I left before I could protect you properly.”

“No, no. If you had been here, it would have been bad. We wouldn’t have been able to focus, you know, because we’d be worried about the other. Besides, I knew how to handle, Pettigrew.”

His head has never moved this fast (other than the time when Lily gossiped to Marlene, Alice, and Dorcas about you liking the man). “It was the rat.”

“Sirius now is not the time to get upset,” you say, wanting him to calm down.

“Calm down? Calm down! That damned rat is the reason we lost James and Lily, why Harry lost his parents, and we lost the only other people we could call family! And you want me to calm down!”

You cross your arms and raise your brow.

He takes a deep breath, sitting down once more. “Fine, I’m calm.”

“Did you, do it?”

“Do what?” He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, staring up at you with the same expression he did when you two started dating: eyes full of love, a smile full of mischief.

“Were you able to get revenge on him?”

“Nope much like an actual rat, he escaped.”

“He’ll be back again.”

“Yeah,” his face turns sour.

“Come,” you grab his hand, pulling him with you.

“Oh.”

You don’t have to turn around to wiggle his brows.

“You’re taking a bath.” You stand in front of the door with your arms crossed.

His eyes widen.

“Just because your animungus is a dog, doesn’t mean you get to act like a big cat.”

“I, on behalf of my animungus, is highly offended.”

“Yes, well, I don’t care.” You turn around to open the door and leave, wanting to give him the privacy he needs (and deserves).

His hand wraps around your arm, keeping you in place. Against all his judgment he does the one thing he didn’t want to. “Don’t leave.”

You close your eyes, never imagining hearing him sound so small. “Okay,” you spin around.

“I’ll stay.” You don't need to hear him say thank you, him coming home to you is enough. You tell him to stay where he is while you use a spell to fill the bathtub with water. You gesture for him to go get in.

“You're going to watch me?”

You nod, remembering when you were younger, and Remus took you guys to the muggle pool, and he said the same phrase.

Remus had opened the door and guided you all into the area. "Alright, everyone find a chair."

Sirius takes a seat beside you, not a surprise to anyone.

You take the sunscreen from Lily, watching over her and James, making sure they don't slip as they run and jump into the pool.

"You need help getting your back?"

You glance over your shoulder and raise a brow. "Really?"

He raises his hands, letting out a long, "what? I'm offering my service, helping a fellow marauder out."

"As if."

He offers a mischievous smile before standing up.

Your eyes follow his movements.

"You're going to watch me?" He asks, reaching for the bottom of his shirt.

"I need-"

“I need to make sure you don't fall in.”

He nods, knowing what you were referring to.

“I can turn around while you-”

“No, no,” he shakes his head. “It's fine. I'm- it's fine.” He worries you won't want him anymore with how he looks now, nothing like his old self, he knows. He unties the makeshift tie he made and lets his pants fall.

You hold your breath, not wanting to cough as the dust and dirt flies up into the air around you.

He slowly undoes the buttons, wanting to prolong his unveiling as much as he can.

You huff and stand in front of him, shaking his hands off you as you do so. “Sirius,” one button done. “Orion,” another. “Black,” you release the front of his shirt, letting it rest against his chest. You cup his cheeks, “you have nothing to be ashamed of, do you hear me? I married you, not because of your looks, although it is a plus.”

The corner of his lips curve upwards, you know you've got him.

“I don't care if you are not as you were all those years ago because if you weren’t you wouldn't have come back to me. I am going to give you all the love and praise you deserve because you do, and I will help you. We will do this together because we are better together, remember?”

“You only said that so I wouldn't miss the game for that girl.”

“And we still won.”

“I won that game.”

“Did you now?” You remove his shirt, letting it fall to the floor with his pants, guiding him towards the bath.

“We both know I did.”

“I don't know,” you say coyly. “Tell me again, how you won the game?”

“I’ve never been one to brag-”

You scoff, helping him into the tub. “That’s all I knew you did, even before we became friends. James had to do a lot of persuading.”

“He did?”

You nod, grabbing the off your bathroom sink. “Oh yeah. It took him a while too. He knew I wasn’t going to budge but seeing the way you were with him and Moons, it may have helped with Prongs’ persuading.”

“I never knew that.”

You smile at the man, scooping a cup full of water, holding it up for him to get the hint.

He scoots forward.

“I told him not to tell you. Ever, or else I’d have him be my tester for new spells and… other things.”

He closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the water and your fingers running through his hair. “When was that?”

“When he realized I liked you.”

“How long before we actually became friends?”

You don’t answer.

“Little bird?”

A wistful sigh escapes you, thinking back to your younger years. “Not long.”

“So, you’re admitting I could have asked you out sooner.”

“No, definitely not. We met when we were supposed to.”

“Is that what you told him?”

“That’s what I believe.”

He opens his eyes and stares at you. “How did I get so lucky to find you?”

“James found you and took you in.”

“More stray jokes,” he mutters. “Very nice.”

“You always knew you were special, don’t act like you aren’t.” You grab the cup, “close your eyes and tilt your head back.” You forgot to put up the mental block, being this close to someone after so long; images of him being taken and left in that cell flash through your mind along with his laughter.

You gulp and finish taking care of him.

He sits on your perfectly made bed and stares at the floor.

You lean against the doorframe, taking him in. “Why did you come back?”

His head tilts up, tired eyes staring at you. “Huh?”

“Why did you come back?”

“Are you saying I’m not welcomed by my wife?”

“I’ve said no such thing since you’ve arrived,” you snarl at him. “I’m only asking because I know you and if you know who did anything to you, you’d get revenge like the time James took your hair products resulting in the Black frizz of 74’ and you turned his hair green for a month. So, I ask again, why are you here?”

He brushes his freshly cleaned hair out of his face. “I found him.”

“Found who?”

He slams his hands down on the bed sheets. “I found that rat!” His face scrunches in pain.

“What- are you okay?” You rush towards him.

“I’m- I’m fine,” he tries to reassure you.

“You are not fine.” You grab your wand, waving it around him. “Is that better?”

“What’d you do?”

You shrug, “something to ease your pain until we get to the kitchen.”

“You trying to seduce me, little bird?”

You pull him with you, keeping him behind you. “I don't need to do much to seduce you if I needed to.”

“Is that a fact?”

“It is, because I know you inside and out no matter how much you deny it.” 

You gesture for him to sit down at the kitchen table while you riffle through your cabinets. “The others would say all I ever needed to do was so much as breathe in your direction.”

You turn, eyes widening upon the sight of your husband standing there, beside you. “Really?”

You nod before telling him to sit down. “I- I need space to prepare this for you.”

An amused smile dances across his lips. “Is that all you need me to do little bird?”

“It is, if you would just, please-”

“They told me the same thing.”

“About what?”

You move around him.

“They told me all I needed to do was look at you and you'd be at my feet, willing to do whatever I asked.”

You scoff, avoiding making eye contact with him, not wanting him to see the faint flush in your cheeks. “As if.” 

"If that's the case," he places his arms on either side of you, caging you in against the counter, leaning closer to your ear. "Why are you so red?"

You huff and elbow him, "go sit."

He holds his abdomen and smiles at you, even though you aren't looking.

You shake your head and continue working on the potion, a sense of deja vu flooding through you, thinking back to the times when you'd help him make potions for Moons after you found out about his condition.

You and Remus share eye contact.

"You know?"

You hesitate to nod.

"And you're not scared?"

"I know you, I've seen the scars. You hurt yourself more to protect everyone." You place the bottle in his hands, "this is the least I could do to try and help you. I know it's not much but-"

"This means more than you could know."

You fight the urge to let out a wide smile, knowing what the others are planning. "I wouldn't say that just yet."

You shake your head and finish with the potion and start preparing the meal you were going to make before... the re-arrival of your husband.

“Drink this,” you place the potion beside his hand, followed by the plate of food. “Eat this after or else you’ll get nauseous. Eat what you can and don’t force it down.”

He nods, listening to your words with all he can until he notices there’s only one plate for him. “Where’s your plate?”

“Oh, I’m- uh- I’m not hungry.”

“Liar, I hear your stomach growling. Sit with me.”

“I have too much to do, I- you need your energy more than I need it. Please just, eat some and then I’ll sit with you once I’m done.”

“No,” he shakes his head, fighting you. “I have been locked away for twelve years,” he holds onto your arm, preventing you from walking away. “I barely got to speak to our godson, I- I need you.”

“Sirius-”

“No, please just- just eat with me and if things are too different, I’ll- I’ll leave.”

You place your hand on his, squeezing his hand once seeing the fear in his eyes. “I won’t, just let,” you take a breath, “let me make something for us to share for old time sakes, okay?”

He slowly nods his head.

You let go of his hand and wander back into the kitchen, riffling through the cabinets and your basket, only to find ingredients for your favorite bread you two would share all the time during your shared time at Hogwarts.

‘Guess I knew beforehand yet again.’

Once it’s done you pull it out of the oven and place it on the counter. “I made it the same way the elves did.”

“You got their recipe?”

You shrug, not wanting to admit the truth. “I cannot confirm nor deny your statement.”

“Never been one to say yes but I know, I know the truth, little bird.”

“That’s why we work so well together.” You place the bread in front of him. You stare at him, curious as to what is going on inside his head.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?”

“What is?”

“This is the first time we’ve been together since we lost them.”

“Yeah… I know.”

“Have you seen him?”

“Who?”

“Harry.”

You quiet down, “no.”

“He knows about you, about us.”

“He does?”

He nods, “and Moons condition.”

“Oh my- it was a full moon yesterday, wasn’t it? No wonder you’re in so much pain. Why didn’t you tell me?” You push yourself out of your chair, holding his head in your hands; you gulp at the sight of him running with Harry and then nothing. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine, concerned about Moons... and you.”

You hold in a groan as you release him, offering a small smile. “You don’t need to worry about me, I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.”

“Just because you can,” he explains while holding your hand, “doesn’t mean you have to.”

“I know,” you tell him, trying not to get into a vaguely familiar talk with him. “And I’m not just saying that.”

“We should go see him tomorrow.”

You narrow your eyes at the man. “Do you not remember the fact that you escaped from prison and are now a wanted man because I’m sure that everyone within a fifteen-mile radius knows and will bring you right back to that cell.”

“They don’t know my animungus.”

“That doesn’t help your situation.” 

“Who would know?”

“Me.���

“Other than you.”

“Harry? Moons?”

“One, the boy doesn’t know and two, Moony is a solid mate.” He explains, knowing you guys were always there, supporting him to no end.

“It’s dangerous.”

“When has it ever been safe?”

You scoff through your nose. “Are we seriously arguing over your life right now? You say you came back for me, but you keep throwing yourself into danger. How am I supposed to close my eyes and pretend like everything is okay when I don’t even know if you’ll be here the next day.”

“It’s to protect those I love.”

You clench your jaw, holding in your sobs. “What about-”

A tap on the door interrupts you. You can sense it’s Kit and open the door, letting the cat hop into your arms.

“Who’s that?”

“Kit.”

“Why do you have a cat?”

“I found him.”

He narrows his eyes at the feline. “Why is it here?”

“He’s been the only company I’ve had for the last few years.”

“He doesn’t seem to like me much,” he notes, due to the way the cat seems to glare at him.

“He senses your different but,” you lean down and whisper into the little cats' ears.

The furry creature seems to have calmed down a bit and stares at the man with wonder.

“It’s a boy and I merely told him you mean no harm.” You return to your place in front of him and continue to eat your meal.

He doesn’t plan on staying the night, not wanting to endanger you.

“I don’t know where you're going but please don’t leave me alone again.”

He smiles in return. “I’ll be back, I’ve never broken my promise, have I?”

You shake your head. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t. I’m a man now.”

A mix of a sniffle, chuckle, and a cough escape you. “You’re barely a man.”

“I knew you’d remember.”

You tilt your head, “how can I forget? All of the memories we made were the only thing helping me through the loneliness.”

-

Previously: Part I // Continue to: Part III

-

Tag list

@kmc1989 @imthebadguyyy @twinkletwinklenotastar @abaker74

@callsignwidow @dreamingofmarauders @comboboo

[cheri-2047]

can you write a hurt/comfort Kaveh x reader where the reader feels insecure because they don't have any talents or passions and Kaveh reassures them that they deserve to be loved even without those, and if they want, he'd help them find something they like doing that makes them happy

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG !!! I had writers block 😔 anyways thanks for requesting :3 (idk how to title this do I just made it comfort)

Kaveh x Reader comfort

TAGS: mentions of alcohol, fluff

CHARACTERS: kaveh, mentions of alhaitham

BEFORE READING THIS:

I’m gonna make it so Kaveh and Alhaitham are still roommates, it’s just alhaitham allows you to stay over and stuff because you and alhaitham are friends too.

The scenario for this is you and kaveh were drinking and you accidentally say things you didn’t mean to say while drunk. (Alhaitham isn’t at home right now)

Lately you’ve been feeling down, but you didn’t want to tell it to kaveh because you felt like it would only make you a burden, that is until you accidentally let it all out one night.

“Cheers!”

Kaveh said, bringing his drink up to yours. You two haven’t seen each other in awhile, due to personal reasons such as him having multiple projects, but now that it’s over, you two decided to celebrate.

You two had been drinking for the past hour, your cheeks only getting more and more flushed per sip.

“Finally that project was over! That client kept wanting me to change things, it went from him saying it needed ‘minor changes’ to the point that he changed almost everything!”

Kaveh exclaimed, taking more sips from his cup.

“Anyways, how are you?”

He turns to you, noticing your flushed cheeks.

“Drunk already? Hmm… but it’s only been your third drink!”

He laughed, before noticing your sullen expression.

“Hey if you want to go to bed you can… I’ll wash the cups don’t worry”

When you didn’t stand up, kaveh placed a hand to your shoulder.

“Love?”

“Stop…stop calling me that”

He looked at you with a worried expression, gently cupping your cheek.

“What’s wrong?”

You buried your head in your arms, after taking a sip of the wine.

“You…I don’t deserve you… “

Kaveh frowned, setting his hand that was on your cheek to your shoulder.

“And what brought you to that conclusion?”

“Forget it”

You mumbled before taking more sips.

“No no please y/n, what’s wrong? Is it cause of my projects?”

The thing is, it was because of his projects, not because you weren’t spending time with him, but because you can’t help but feel like you’ll never be as talented as he is.

You hated how you made yourself feel bad about it, it’s not like kaveh said anything or anyone did. It was truly your own mind.

Kaveh noticed your silence, he felt guilty even though he didn’t do anything wrong.

“I’m sorry I’ll spend time with you more I swear! I promise y/n”

He said as I tilted your chin to look at him.

“That’s not it”

You mumbled.

“I’m not good like you… I don’t have any passions, I can’t do anything well, I don’t feel good about myself. I feel useless”

Why were you even telling him these? You don’t know. To your surprise, you kept talking.

“How could you possibly love someone as useless as I am? I can’t do anything at all!”

Kaveh set both your drinks aside.

“Please look at me”

He muttered, before hugging you tightly.

“I love you very much, I don’t think you’re useless at all. I think quite the opposite. I think you’re amazing, the way you’re so kind and caring…I love you.”

He rubbed your back comfortingly, looking at you with a frown.

“I think you’re more than enough love…”

He pulled you closer, burrying his face on the top of your head.

“And plus…there’s no rush, it’s okay, it’s everyone’s first time living…”

He cradled you in his arms

“If it makes you feel better, maybe I can help you? I know I’ve liked art since I was a kid, but I’ll do anything in my power to help you.”

He gave you a reassuring smile.

“I think you’re wonderful, I love you so much.”

To his surprise, when he looked down at you, you had already fallen asleep in his arms. Most likely due to you being drunk.

He presses a kiss to your head and carries you to his bedroom.

—

The next morning, he’s already prepared with stuff you two could try, and if you tell him that you feel bad for “wasting his time” he will always say no and that he loves you

Thank you for requesting! So sorry if this was mischaracterized or I wrote reader a bit weird 😞 I hope ure okay tho!! Just a reminder that everyone deserves to be loved <3

THIS WASNT PROOFREAD !!

[mybiasisexo]

holdddddsupppp you got a drabble game open HOW DID I MISS THIS. if you’re still accepting may i kindly request 33 & 36 with chanyeol please and thank you!

Fantasy 🎀

Genre: smut | nonidol!au Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Length: 1.8k Warnings: language | phone sex | explicit sexual scenes

a/n: this is lowkey nassssty 👅 but why do i find it wholesome??? lol. anywhooo writing stuff like this is not good for my thirst yall see what i do for you???? lmao

DRABBLE GAME | MASTERLIST

“Who shall I be for you tonight, Mr. Park?” You ask into the phone. You lean back into the pile of pink pillows on your king-sized bed.

“I want to switch it up tonight, if you don’t mind.” The sexily deep voice on the other end of the line had your stomach doing backflips. It’s easy to do your job whenever you have to deal with this client, especially with a voice like that.

“I never mind when it comes to you, Mr. Park.”

The sound of his sensual laugh makes you bite your lip. “You’ll need to bear with me. It’s not my normal request.” “I’m all ears.”

Mr. Park is your most loyal customer. He calls every Thursday night. You don’t know much about him. You don’t know what he looks like or what he does for work, but you know he’s a busy man–too busy for a physical lover. That’s where you come in. You fill that empty role for him, allowing him to seek the intimacy he lacks in his real life. Unlike most of your customers, who only call for a quick nut, Mr. Park is into roleplay. You never know what scenario he’ll create for you to bring to life and you find it exciting. You find the mysterious man very exciting. It helps that he pays handsomely for your service. 

He’s somber when he speaks again. “I’m currently away on a business trip, and as I take in this stunning view out the window of my hotel I can’t help but feel….” he pauses as he searches for the right words. “Lonely.”

You remain quiet. He’s setting the scene, but you can’t help but think he’s being vulnerable with you.

“I’d like for you to help with that. Can you make me forget my loneliness? Just for tonight? Could we pretend that we’re in love?”

You gasp at his request. You’re sure it goes against sex work code to blur the lines like this, but on the other hand, it’s your job to cater to his whims. If his sexual desire is to be romantic, to be loved, then that’s what you’ll provide. Honestly, you could use a bit of intimacy as well.

Curling onto your side, you cup your phone against your ear. “How’s the view?”

You must have startled him, because it takes him a second to answer. You hear the shuffling of sheets as he also adjusts in his bed and hear a smile through the line. “It’s gorgeous. The sun is setting now, and the ocean is sparkling…. You’d love it.”

“Send me a picture.”

You imagine him shaking his head. “I did take a few. Doesn’t do it justice though.” He sighs wistfully. “I wish you were here to see it for yourself.”

You smile softly. “I wish I was there too.” It’s your turn to sigh. “I just wish I was with you.”

He lets out a husky chuckle. “Does my baby miss me that much?”

Your heart lurches at the pet name. It takes you aback and you can hear him laugh at your shocked silence.

“More than you know,” you choke out. “When will you be back?”

“Soon, Baby.”

“You’re supposed to say that you’re getting on a plane right now because you can’t bear another second without me.”

He barks a laugh, it’s loud and genuine, causing you to giggle from its sincerity. “I’ll get right on that then.”

“And what are you going to do when you return?” You ask, pushing the conversation in the direction you get paid for it to go.

“First thing I’m going to do is take you out on a very expensive date.”

“Ooh,” you purr. “Ilike where this is going.”

“I thought you would. After that, we’ll go back home and take a hot shower. Clean the day off.”

“Okay,” you encourage.

He hesitates for dramatic effect. “And then I'm going to make love to you.”

“You will, huh?”

“Uh-huh. Gonna fuck you so good, you’ll forget I ever left to begin with.”

“That’s quite the plan you got there,” you say. It’s meant to be teasing, but you’re too breathless. It’s a dead giveaway to your growing desire.

“Aw,” he coos. “Got you a little worked up?”

“A little,” you admit.

“Let me help with that.” His voice drops a few octaves, vibrating against your ear. You can’t help but moan at the sound, having grown a bit obsessed with his voice. It’s the only physical bit of information you have of his real identity, and it drives you crazy.

“Please,” you beg.

He then proceeds to direct you to touch yourself. He always makes you build your pleasure, makes you tease yourself until you’re begging him to let you finger your throbbing, soaking core. He teases himself as well. It’s not until he hears your wonton moaning and the squelching of your wetness that he even bothers releasing himself from the painful confines of his pants. The sound of him unbuckling his pants is another thing about him that drives you crazy, and he’s fully aware of it.

You aren’t sure how much time passes as you both chase your highs. The only things that can be heard are heavy breathing, moans, and encouraging words.

“Let me see you,” he suddenly asks. “Please. I have to see your face when you cum.”

That has you freezing. Your anonymity is a part of the fantasy. You can be anything Mr. Park wants when he has no image to compare you to. It works both ways. It’s a form of confidentiality, of protection for you. That being said, you’ve always been curious about what Mr. Park looks like.

Blame it on the lustful haze, but you succumb to his request. “O–okay.”

Your phone instantly vibrates, the screen revealing a facetime request. Your heart is hammering so hard in your chest you can feel it in your ears. With a shaky hand, you answer the call and close your eyes, terrified of his initial reaction of finally seeing you.

It’s silent for an unbearably long time. Just as you’re about to hang up, he lets out a whistle. “You’re more beautiful than anything I could’ve conjured.”

Shocked, your eyes spring open. And then your jaw drops at what greets you.

Mr. Park is dangerously handsome. Not to stereotype, but you always feel only unattractive incels pay for phone sex. But with a voice like that, you knew Mr. Park couldn’t possibly be ugly. You’ve wondered numerous times what was wrong with him to have him resort to phone sex, but then remember it’s his job. 

The first thing to captivate you is his large dark eyes that currently are hooded over with desire. His olive skin is tinted pink and gleaming with sweat. His dark silky hair is pushed back, revealing the lovely shape of his face as well as endearingly large ears. He has a strong nose that your lust-filled mind wants to immediately ride, as well as full devastating lips you crave to taste and feel all over your body.

“So are you,” you let out without thought, too engrossed in his image.

He chuckles, and the sound has your empty core aching. “Well, thank you. I’m glad you find me attractive.”

“I always knew you would be.”

He hums and leans back against the headboard, staring.

“What?” You whisper, feeling self-conscious.

“Nothing.” He grins and it’s so boyish and playful, you fight back a shiver. “I didn’t tell you to stop.”

“I–er, sorry.” You slide down your bed so that you’re lying flat on the mattress, instead of propped up on the pillows, and hold your phone high over yourself. This allows him to see your body cladded in sexy lingerie. You pan the phone lower, to where your other hand has disappeared into your panties. Mr. Park doesn’t even blink as he watches the show, taking everything in as he starts to slowly pump himself.

“Can’t believe you were hiding all this from me,” he grunts. “Don’t get me wrong, your voice definitely does the job, but fuck, Baby. You’re perfection.”

His words have you blushing. “I wish you were here to touch me.” You lift the phone up so that your face is back in the frame. “To taste me. I want to show you just how perfect I can be.”

He groans and it sounds so devastated you can’t help but giggle.

The two of you start back where you left off. It’s intensely intimate with the way you both lose yourselves in each other’s eyes. You’ve never done this before and can’t deny the little thrill you feel at being able to see the man on the other side. Trust Mr. Park to keep things adventurous.

You come first. With a sharp gasp, you start convulsing, nearly dropping the phone with how powerful your orgasm is.

“That’s right,” Mr. Park praises. “Come on those fingers for me. So damn beautiful.”

He’s right behind you. A growl is ripped from his throat as he’s hit with his own release. His hips buck as he paints his exposed abdomen.

You’re both panting heavily in the aftermath. With some effort, you rearrange your pillows so that you can lean your phone against them instead of holding it. Laying on your side, you watch as Mr. Park dips his finger into his mess, lifting it up to watch it stretch out.

“Lemme taste,” you say, opening your mouth like you’re accepting food.

He laughs that sincere loud laugh from earlier and shakes his head, dropping his hand lifelessly at his side. “Freak.”

“That’s what you pay me for,” you say with a wink.

He shakes his head again. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.”

“Get off to my face?”

“Yeah,” he nearly moans. “There’s a reason why I keep coming back, you know?”

You purse your lips. “I thought it was my way with words?”

“That too. But, I just… I’ve always felt drawn to you.”

You smile and he tilts his head, the action feels affectionate.

“Thank you,” he says sincerely. “I really needed that today.”

“It’s my pleasure,” you say as seductively as you can post-nut. Growing just as serious you admit, “I needed it too.”

His expression softens with understanding .

“Our time is up,” you tell him, trying to brush off this new affection growing between you both. “Good night, Mr. Park.”

“It’s Chanyeol,” he says right as you’re about to end the call.

“I’m sorry?”

“My name.” he clears his throat nervously. “It’s Chanyeol.”

You blink at the revelation. The name suits him, you decide. It’s better than anything you could’ve guessed it to be. Feeling you have to return the favor, and leave him with a thankful parting gift, you reveal your real name as well.

His smile is blinding as he repeats it. “Gorgeous. Just like you.”

“Always laying it on thick, Chanyeol.”

He smirks. “I just wanted to hear you say my name.” You narrow your eyes at him and he’s laughing again. “See you next week.”

You hang up, stomach fluttering from what you just did. You know it’s wrong, but you’re way too eager for your next appointment with Chanyeol.

[gingerjolover]

valentine's request: julien being your secret admirer 🤭🤭🤭

guys this is so cute :(

another blurb? all of y'all hop on my magic carpet let's take a ride

(i wanted to make a strap joke but the magic carpet is more appropriate)

no warnings except this is RPF, fluff ahead!

okay i would have to imagine a scenario where you are friends with the boys

like maybe you work at saddest factory with phoebe or you know them through muna or you're part of their crew

either way i imagine you'd have to be around the boys a lot for julien to do the cheesy secret admirer stuff

and i think julien probably doesn't even mean to be a secret admirer like it happens accidentally

okay picture this, you're part of the social team or operations or something that you're spending hella time with the boys so obviously you start to learn a lot about them

and i mean you probably learn way too much like there you are on a friday afternoon loosening the buttons on phoebes button up with a little sewing tool because she decided she wants to flash the crowd meanwhile the band and jb and lucy are talking your ear off about something to do with philosophical trends in modern media

and you're so grateful for the time you've spent on tour because who would've thought this amazing group of people would have convos about their favorite colors and the best way to cook tofu and why certain toothpaste is better for your teeth than others

and so while you're soaking up all this info, jb in particular really takes a fancying to you but there's something always holding her back

luce and pheebs swear that you're sweet on her but she says "losing their friendship is NOT worth me admitting i find them pretty," because jb would rather have you working the tour and be a lifelong friend than freak you out

but jb lit can't help it, she's always remembering the little details and keeping them locked away in her mind

and one morning one of the crew guys heads out early and brings back pastries

and youre running around like a headless chicken before the show so jb saves your favorite flavor of muffin aside for you

she writes your name in a very quick and hasty, and honestly descript scratch

and when you finally catch a break the boys are prepping for soundcheck and your eyes light up at this little muffin sitting on the table all wrapped nice and neat

"thank you! to whoever saved this for me!" you say with sweet eyes and a smile that literally makes jules feel like she's gonna ascend

and jb is about to take credit bc duh when maybe phoebe is like "look at you with a secret admirer," which causes you to blush and holy hell if it's not the cutest thing jb has ever seen

her voice literally gets stuck in her throat and she can't say a word

she decides then and there she's gonna be your secret admirer

and boy does she COMMIT

girlie is buying your favorite candy and ordering flowers from local flower shops, or the second new merch comes in she's snagging a crewneck, or she's looking at your goodreads and getting a book on your 'want to read' list and leaving it in your bunk

and this goes on for MONTHS

i mean a majority of the tour, you're being spoiled and you try to ask around but literally no one knows it's julien

and finally lucy and phoebe and julien are at a coffee shop in a random city later in the tour

luce and phoebe leave to go outside and julien "forgets her wallet" going back inside and grabbing you a chocolate croissant, shoving it in her backpack gently to hide it in the venue when they get back

and phoebe catches her when they are in the green room

and she's shocked honestly, julien's hand pressing to the blonde's mouth

"shut the fuck up" julien hisses, wide eyes staring into phoebes

"you little fucker! just tell them!"

and phoebe is like "whatever", rolling her eyes but for the next 2 weeks smirks everytime a little treat gets found by you

but it comes to a head one of the last shows before break

you're on your period maybe or just not feeling well, medicine and a new heating pad are waiting for you in your bunk

and the bus is quiet like everyone is chilling, not yet asleep, but it's quiet hours and you just start to sob

jb finds you and is like "woah woah woah!" rushing to you, one hand on your back the other wiping at your blotchy cheeks

"you okay?" she whispers, trying to calm you down

and you just point to the items and jb's blood runs ice cold, she starts to stammer like, "what- i don't understand," trying to play dumb

and you LOSE it like, "i don't know who keeps giving me presents but i feel so guilty because i don't deserve them and when i was complaining about my heating pad it didn't mean i needed a new one and the person is spending money and i'm so confused-" like fully having a meltdown

and julien is holding your face so gingerly being like "hey, hey it's... it's me, don't cry sweetheart, you have nothing to feel guilty about," and you're sooooo confused

julien sighs, adjusting her baseball cap, "i- i really like you and i saw how you acted when phoebe said you had a secret admirer and it was so cute so i just kept doing it but i didn't realize how you didn't really ask for any of it and i see now how it could be taken as super creepy and invasive? and i didn't mean to make you cry i-" before you cut her rambles off with a bone crushing hug

"i like you too jay."