#it'a got a certain something

[hiperchile]

lmao tf is going on with spotify ??

[oh-my-may]

LET'S TALK GENSHIN AND REMURIA AND ARLECCHINO BEFORE I FORGET AND WE'RE ALREADY IN SECOND HALF OF THE PATCH WHY DOES TIME FLY WHEN YOU'RE AN ADULT

I'm gonna start the post with a few paragraphs I wrote just a few days after the patch went live:

So I finished the first Remuria world quest - it was beautiful. And really not as long as I first expected it to be. I probably could have finished it on the first day if I wouldn't have been as tired as I was

First of all the new map is beautiful. You'd think after 3? patches of map expansions where we already got underwater stuff it would feel repetetive but somehow it looks and feels different and refreshing. Maybe because majority of the map are caves where you can walk normally or they're ruins... idk.

I couldn't help but draw parallels between Remuria and HSR's Penacony tho, especially look-wise, the talk of a dreamscape and the theme of music. Especially now after finishing Penacony 2.2 I can't help but feel the two are very similar in certain aspects... the motive of Harmony and Song and Peace and saving a people and Gods? Also the way Remuria looks is so similar to certain things in Penacony? I already said rhis in my post on HSR, this is absolutely no hate whatsoever. I reckon there's only so much you can do with these motives? It's interesting how differently it looks in both games tho.

So yeah, Remuria is beautiful. The music is an out of body experience and encapsulates the whole thing perfectly. I haven't explored all of the map yet, but I like the new mechanisms a lot. The floating books look so cool and just generally the significance of music through it all... *sigh* it's so enjoyable.

So far for Remuria... i definitely missed a few things I wanted to say but it's been like 2 weeks since I played this and I definitely forgot something haha

AS FOR ARLECCHINO THO

First of all she's broken omg. It is kind lf annoying that it'll take weeks to max out her talents, rn for me she's sitting at crowned NA and skill and burst are level 7 each. But she still hits for like over 50k with each normal attack when she has a bond of life. Don't even get me started on her with Yelan MY GOD.

Okay with that out of the way let me talk about her story quest. First of all I find it very intriguing that hyv gave up on the usual pattern of having the second weekly boss for a nation be tied to the Archon and their respective second story quest (besides Mond ig)... i mean yeah Fontaine's archon situatipn is very peculiar but technically Neuvilette has taken over the role for now, right? Neither him nor Furina getting a second story quest makes me think Neuvi's probably gonna get his way later because it'll be HUGE. Again I wanna say that lore wise Neuvi is my fav character... HES JUST SO FNDNDBDN. And Furina is probably gonna get a pretty "random" one at one point kinda like Yoimiya did or Cyno... like its gonna be a good quest but it'a gonna be random. ANYWAY

I wonder how much different I would habe perceived the quest if I hadn't watched the Animated Short about Arlecchino that they put on Youtube... like it's her whole backstory? I could see where the quest was going right from the beginning because of it... that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, tho

Childe's little surprise cameo made me so happy c: MY BOY. He's alive snd well AND IN FONTAINE. Let me remind ypu we last officially saw him in the last Atchon quest gwtting yeeted into a black hole by Skirk. Then it was mentioned at the end that he was being treated and sent gome to Snezhnaya. Well...

The whole cryptic talk between Arle and Childe was quite interesting... so this project by the Fatui, right? (Forgot the name rn bc it's been a few days since I played the quest) Is it fonna be significant for Natlans story? What does it entail?? THE TEASE NNNNGNNGHH

I wonder if at some point in the game we're actually gonna see Lyney become the new head of House of the Hearth. Like... it's mentioned quite a lot in his story as well as in everything that has tp do with the House and Sröecchino herself... I wonder 🤔

Throughout the story I was reminded that one of the first things we heard about her (Childes voiceline that came out in like??? 3.0 or so???). It was that she would turn her back on and betray the Harbingers (AND THE TSARISTA) without second thought. She even says this herself in her voicelines. I just wonder what her ultimate goal is? To free herself from the curse? Which btw they tell us nothing about in the story. Story is all about the House and its inner workings and Arle's feelings about it and plans for the future (which I love btw but still not quite understand)... we also casually get told that Arle is not even that old??? Like the whole thing with Crucabena is so recent that Freminet remembers her???? Amd Arle was maybe a Teenager when she killed her so like??? She's only around 10 years older than the kids????

So how come she's a descendant from Khaenri'ah? I don't know if I read somewhere abput it or if its a rumor but not confirmed or if its said in her personal story which I haven't read yet but... she'a from the crimson moon dynasty? Or has some ties to it? And her curse is definitely related to it BUT WHAT IS HER CURSE EXACTLY. WHY DOES SHE HAVE IT. If she's only in maybe her late 20s she couldn't have been an actual Khaenriahn citizen (same as Kaeya and he still gives me the same headache thinking about this) so how does it all tie together in the end?? Does it have to do with the God of time maybe??? (Nevermind if this is talked about in her personal story in her profile I haven't read that yet)

So yeah... the fight woth her was so cool. The animation??? I saw people get upset about the fact that Traveler couldn't beat her but I actually love that?? Like... She'a #4 of the Harbingers and has some curse probably tied to Khaenriah and she KILLED A HARBINGER WHEN SHE WAS A TEENAGER??? Traveler nlt being this almighty MC makes them so much mlre likeable like yeah... they are obv far from having their actual power back? It took us ... how many times to fight Shuki No Kami before we could defeat it in the final try to learn all the patterns? The game wants to tell us that there's much more powerful enemies in Teyvat and rhis is only the beginning. Let me tell you yeah we beat Signora but it was Raiden who killed her... it was Zhongli who subdued Azhdaha. We only healed Apep with Nahidas help. Traveler has never been able to easily defeat these big enemies, they always had help. Yeah they have been getting stronger, they've been getting access to more elements but the bis enemies are just getting stronger and bigger too... I wonder where that will lead. Maybe the twins are only gonna get their true power bavk once they're united... ANYWAY

Her weekly boss fight is cool too. Using different mechanisms again, with the whole Bond of Life thing and all. She does this one attack in her second phase that I just... can't get behind tho. Someone always has to be the victim, THE SACRIFICE, to get me through haha. Idk how to dodge or avoid that attack. The one where she floats above the arena and then these bombs? Idk? Come down and basically crash down on the whole arena and I haven't found a spot where you can aboid getting hit and therefore killed immediately idk.

So yeah that's all for now. Very excited to play Cyno's second story quest. Heard only good things so far about it, which is good because I really didn't like his first one 💀 probably gonna get around to play it one of these days. Same as with the rest of Remuria exploration, gonna need mlre Clorinde funds :3

(Gonna add screenshots later, it's been so long that the ones I took aren't saved in the PS App anymore 💀)

[compassionatereminders]

should i be embarrassed by liking kpop because some people make me feel this way i am your age and i got into kpop at 14 i just love to support my groups but it's weird because people i know make me feel like i should be ashamed but it'a not that deep for me like watching videos that my faves upload makes me happy when i watch them their music claims me down and it helps me when i have a bad day. i love collecting albums as well. it's not like i'm obsessed it's just a fun hobby to me and it's so weird to me that people i know or other younger people online talk like we should stop enjoying something at a certain age. all idols i support are at least +20 and some even older than 30. when i see people my age judging me (when i upload a pic on my ig when i buy albums for example) i sometimes think well maybe i should stop enjoying it or start hiding it... people i hang out with say i'm wasting my money but my collections make me really happy. sometimes they make me feel (people i know irl + younger stans online who talk badly about other fans) like i am doing something bad but clearly i'm not doing anything weird. i always loved supporting groups and now when i have money i'm even happier i can afford merch

No way! I've never been that into kpop but that doesn't mean I'll ever shame anyone for finding joy in that kind of music! I mean the members BLACKPINK are all queens to me and I refuse to be ashamed of that! So go enjoy your favorite music - and don't let anyone shame you cause you don't deserve that!

[spencers-dria]

Something From a Fairytale

Someone To Stay Ch. 15

Spencer x fem reader

Y/N POV:

It'a Friday and you are prepared for a normal evening in, curled up on the couch watching Harry Potter with Spencer. That is, until you received a text from him stating: "change of plans, I'm picking you up at 7. Formal attire highly encouraged ;)"

The blush on your face fades as quickly as it appears, as you brush it off as him being goofy rather than flirty. Why was he picking you up, though? And dressed for something formal? Was he taking time to dinner? Was this a date? The thoughts flood your brain so quickly you nearly go dizzy. You quickly shake your head, trying to clear it of the chaos like a etch-a-sketch. Okay. Deep breaths. You're certain you are overthinking things. If  you aren't careful, you will allow myself to be accidentally lead on. You and Spencer friends. Nothing had changed. Sure you have seen him a bit differently lately, but you didn't do anything about it. But admitting those things out loud to your friends, his friends, well that made it feel pretty real. Pretty one sided too. Ugh, you're such a mess. Get it together.

You finally pull yourself up off the couch realizing you want to have enough time to shower and fix your hair, and to properly do your makeup. Not to mention the time it would take to no doubt go through multiple outfits before finally settling on one. You had grown so comfortable around him, you usually didn't prepare much for your movie nights. But something about his request had a certain weight to it. You can't place your finger on it, but tonight felt important.

After showering, shaving, and drying your hair, you throw on a robe and walk into your closet, letting your fingers flip through the clothes. Too fancy, too casual, too edgy...none of it felt right until your eyes land on a dark purple, strapless dress with a sweetheart neckline and long flowing skirt that reaches the floor. You start to second guess, shooting a quick text to Spencer: "Sooo how formal are we talking?"

He takes only a few seconds to respond: "That can be up to you. But probably nothing you'd wear to a sports event."

You roll my eyes. Ha ha. Very funny. You decide this will have to do. Besides, he loves purple, and you can't help but wanting to impress him once again. He'd already seen one side of you that night of a bar. You are ready to show him you can look classy, when you wanted to. You have more than just sweat pants and cocktail dresses.

After giving your hair some loose curls, you put on some light, shimmering eye shadow with bold black eyeliner and a darker pink matte liquid lip. You get so distracted by fixing little details in your makeup or hair that you're caught off guard by the knock at the door. You immediately feel a pit sink into the deepest part of my stomach, pure nerves.

You take a deep breathe before opening the door to see Spencer standing there looking far too nervous considering how fantastic he looks. A well fitting black suit jacket, black button down, and black slacks. He's standing with a hand behind his back, nervously staring at the ground. He's eyes shoot up to you as soon as you've opened the door.

This isn't what you were expecting at all, but you're not complaining. You're also still unsure what this is, as you try to push aside any thoughts that jump to premature conclusions. After staring at each other in silence for a few seconds, you finally speak up.

"You look incredible, Spencer. I mean, really handsome, truly."

He shakes his head slightly like he doesn't quite believe you. He looks down at the ground as you can tell he's contemplating his next words carefully. He finally looks up at you with the sweet brown eyes you love so much. He's so quiet that you almost miss it. "You're breathtaking."

You feel your breath hitch in my throat. He's always been sweet but this was different. Before you have a chance to get in your head again, he brings his hand out from behind his back, to reveal a single rose. Naturally, it's purple, which is apparently our theme for the night. You chuckle before taking the lavender flower in your hand and bringing it up to your nose. You close your eyes and inhale the overwhelming fragrance. You can't tell what's sweeter, the aroma of the rose or the moment itself.

You slowly drag your eyes back up to meet his when he finally speaks. "Would you do me the honor of being my date for this evening?" He steps forward and offers me his arm with a smile, slightly more confident. At a complete loss for words, all you can manage to do is nod your head. You're sure there is also a grin across your face so large, that you can't possibly hide how happy you are in this moment.

The girls were clearly very wrong about you needing to make the first move. Spencer had shown up at my door, like something from a fairy tale, ready to sweep you off my feet and whisk you away to an unknown adventure. As you took his arm and descend the stairs to the lobby, you know in that moment you'd follow him anywhere. He lead you to his car and opened the passenger side, allowing you to slip in. Spencer driving was such a rarity; You are impressed once again.

If you had any uncertainty of how you felt before, it was all but a memory now, replaced with an overwhelming gravitational pull to the man who is sitting next to you in the car. You try not to let your gaze linger too long. Part of you wants to take in how handsome he looks, but the other part just wants to take in every inch of the person who had all but just professed feelings for you. He'd asked you on a date. It felt like a whole new side of him and you are still in awe. You want to take in as much of it as possible, before it ever dares to slip away. Before he changes his mind, or you wake up...I mean there's always a twist right. But you bring your mind back to the present to focus in and enjoy every moment while it lasts.

You want to ask where you are going or why he asked you on a date but settle instead for the comforting silence of the ride. Somehow it isn't awkward. You just enjoy being for the moment, taking in one another's presence.

You can't help but admire his jaw line, the way his curls frame his face. He's definitely prettier than you, which isn't fair, but you don't mind seeing as you get  the pleasure of getting to look at him.

You've been staring a little too long when you notice he quickly glances your direction. Normally he would have turned red as a beet, but instead a small smile creeps on to his face. "You're staring." He says matter of factly, still smiling.

Impressed by his new confident demeanor, you decide to muster up the same confidence.

"If you didn't want me staring, you shouldn't have dressed up to look so darn good."

You catch a glimpse of redness on his face at your statement. You laugh to yourself, glad to still have the shy Spencer around when you want him.

"I didn't say I minded."  He states, smiling while keeping his eyes glued on the road.

Confident Spencer has caught you off guard once again, but you don't want to let that show.

"You're kind of a flirt, you know? Where did that come from?"

He just shrugs and laughs. Your eyes meet for a brief moment, bringing your attentions to the electricity filling the space between the two of you. It's a good thing he's driving, because his attention quickly shifts back to the road. After awhile he parks along a dimly lit street and exits the car, rushing over to open your door before you get the chance. He offers you his harm once again, helping you to stand as you try not to step on your dress.

"M'lady" he says with a cheesy smile.

You can't help but laugh. He's so corny, and you love every moment of it. He leads you to the entrance of what appears to be a theater or music hall of some sort.

"Did you get the times wrong maybe? There's no one else here. Pretty sure it's closed, Spence." You say, brow furrowed as you search for signs of other people.

He gives you a look that you can't quite read, confidence and amusement perhaps, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a set of keys. He unlocks the door and leads you inside. He leads the two of you  through a dark lobby, as if he knows exactly where he's headed. You're grateful, considering you can barely see but a few feet in front of you. You're still unable to determine exactly where he's brought you or why. You can see light crawling out from under a set of ornate wooden doors not too far in front of you.

He pushes to doors open to reveal a beautiful, aged theater. All the lights are on, curtains drawn, string lights draped from the ceiling. It reveals its age and history with every creak of the floor boards, each carving of the railings. The warm glow that fills the room leaves you feeling giddy. You have no idea why he brought you here, but my heart is already racing from excitement. You run your hand along the ornate design carved into the railings as you make your way into the room, taking in every detail.

Your attention is soon drawn to the stage at the front of the room. There, sitting under the spotlight, is a beautiful grand piano. Glossy black with pearly white keys. In front of it sits a piano bench, covered in a deep red velvet. You turn to look at Spencer for the first time since entering the room, curiosity and excitement showing on your features. He's got a mysterious smile that tells you he has a plan.

[danidoesathing]

So uh

Prompts! Angst time!

46: "I just need to be alone right now."

-------------------------------------------------------

Jay hated Tim.

He didn't really. Quite the contrary. But today, now, he did. After going out grocery shopping together they had went back to the car, now on the drive to the hotel they stayed at, and Tim had stopped at the side of the road to take a call. That wouldn't have been a problem, but they were standing for about 10 minutes now, rain heavily going down on the car, and Jay was getting nervous. He hated thunderstorms, every sound making him jump a little in his seat, feeling uneasy. And Tim still talked.

He wasn't even listening most of the time, his mind somewhere else staring outside or watching raindrops flow down the window, but now his attention went back to Tim quite quickly when he said something certain.

"Listen, I love you, really, but that's the dumbest thing you ever said, Brian"

Jay blinked slowly, taken aback for a moment. He didn't know. Were they...? No, probably not. It was just, a friends thing, right. Friends did say that sometimes, right? And after all, they were best friends, for years now. He wasn't as close to anybody else. He wasn't-

"Honey, listen. That's. A stupid plan"

Everything inside Jay began to curl. It felt like his guts were twitching, shrinking, his heart sinking and his ribcage tightening. All the air was pressed out of his lungs at once, a giant wave of emotions crushing down on him all at once. They had been held back behind cracked glass for a long time now and finally it shattered, and before Jay could even prepare himself the flood of feelings already rolled over him, ripping him off his feet and blocking his throat. He waved his arms desperately but he couldn't move, being thrown left and right by the masses of water he was slowly drowning in, twitching but unable to do anything. His arms gave up first, muscles hurting, then his legs, preventing him from moving them any further. Slowly he was being pulled down, deeper and deeper, salty water filling his nose and lungs and he couldn't breathe, eyes burning, heart racing. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe.

Tim looked up when he heard a door being opened, the sound of rain hitting the asphalt hovering over Brian's voice through the speaker, making it almost impossible to hear him. Jay was still hesitating for a moment before he got out of the car.

"Hey, Jay! What are you doing?"

-"Taking a walk"

"Get back in the car, you'll get sick if you go out now"

-"I need to get some fresh air"

"I'll be done in just a sec-"

He stopped mid-sentence when he saw Jay's face. Something about it worried him.

"What's wrong?"

-"Nothing's wrong, I'm just taking a walk"

Jay didn't explain any further, shutting the door, putting his hands in his pockets and just walking off, wanting to be far away, anywhere but here. The rain soaked him within a few moments, feeling just like the wave of confusing emotions in his head, hammering down on him and making his head pound. He had barely crossed the street when somebody grabbed his arm, making him spin around to look at them.

"Jay, come back in the car, we're going back to the hotel"

-"I said I'm taking a walk"

"It's raining and thundering, you're not taking a goddamn walk"

-"I just need to be alone right now"

It was hard to talk, his throat still blocked, avoiding eye contact. He was glad Tim couldn't see him cry but he still noticed something was wrong.

"What's gotten into you?"

-"I said. I'm taking a walk"

"And why that all of a sudden? During this weather? Now?? Jay, what's wrong?"

-"I need a break!"

A bit louder than he actually wanted his voice shot out of him after it had felt so hard to talk, scratchy and hoarse from crying. Jay pulled his arm back, out of Tim's grip, rubbing his eyes.

-"I need to be alone. I'm walking back to the hotel"

"What the hell is wrong, Jay. I know something is up"

-"It'a nothing. Nothing"

Sighing he looked down, his stiff shoulders loosening a little, sinking. Arguing now would've been no use and he couldn't tell him either.

"Let's get back in the car and to the hotel. You're gonna be sick if you stay out here any longer"

-"Fine, fine, you're right. I'm sorry"

Every step felt excruciating, his legs aching. He could barely move them, still seeing himself paddle weakly in the flood.

It's nothing.

"You good?"

-"Yeah. Not sure what got into me"

"Let's go back to the hotel"

-"Yeah. Yeah."

Jay's vision was blurry, nothing but a fuzzy mess of different shades of blue around him. His lungs were filled to the rim with water. He couldn't breathe, his body completely giving up under the weight and exhaustion, the comforting light above him on the surface further and further away. He was sinking. His tired body twitched with the feeling of suffocation, shaking left and right violently, everything inside him burning. Salty water filled his nose, made his eyes itch, his throat burn and the coldness of the water forced his hands to crumble up.

Thinking about it, Jay wasn't sure if he ever was able to swim. If he could have learned it if he tried, he didn't know. Maybe he didn't want to.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

WHY DO YOU INSIST ON HURTING HIM

[lavender-lotion]

Stony prompt: Avengers chilling at the tower, drinking a bit, watching some random show. Something leads them to talking about virginity, when they lost theirs, etc. joking about it. Steve looking super lost & someone guesses that he’s still a virgin, to which he blushes. Tony starts poking playful fun at him, but Steve gets really upset and embarrassed. Cue them talking alone later and steve admitting it’s because he doesn’t think of himself as attractive. Tony comforting him (you’re beautiful)

Took this in a bit of a different direction, but I hope you still like it! You can read it here on AO3!

***

Tony was sure the only reason he felt it was because he was halfway to sitting in Steve's lap, but the minute Barton asked about sex, the Captain's entire body went tense. A hush fell over the room as though they weren't only grown adults, but also superheroes. Then again, they were all more than a few drinks in, celebrating another win.

It hadn't been aliens this time, thank god, but it had been some sort of humanoid experiments gone wrong, these half rat things that had been scouring the streets and wreaking havoc. It hadn't been anything more than they could handle, but they were still taking it easy in the heart of celebration.

Scattered about the communal living room and lazily sprawled over the various couches and armchairs, they'd already been sitting around for nearly two hours when Clint suggested they play party games. Thor had spurred him on, stating that he didn't know any earthly party games and he wanted to learn. Truth or Dare hadn’t lasted long and Never Have I Ever wasn’t very fun when Tony had done everything, so the games had eventually trailed off.

Which had somehow brought them all to where they were now: going around the circle and telling the story of their first time. Clint had gone first, then Thor, followed by Natasha and then a shy Bruce. Tony really had no idea why this was happening—he himself was a few drinks in and caught up in just how warm Steve’s body was—and he hadn’t been paying much attention, but he was pretty sure it had been because of Clint. Most things that gave Tony a headache revolved around Clint, as of late.

Even if he hadn’t been paying attention, Tony was sure that Steve was all tensed up, since he was certainly paying attention to Steve. The entire night the Cap'n had been nice and relaxed and affectionate. He had let Tony curl up against him and he'd even thrown his arm over Tony's shoulders so he could get closer. It was nice, after so long of them dancing around...well, dancing around something. It felt a lot like progress was being made, especially when Steve didn't protest Tony throwing his legs over the bigger man's lap.

Now, Steve was absolutely not loose and cuddly and affectionate, but rather holding himself tight, as if ready to spring up and fight.

“So Cap’in Spangles, what’s your story?” Clint’s voice was slurred when Tony finally tuned back in, and Cap’s entire body got even tenser. The arm around his shoulders went tight and the already hard abdomen under his hand went rigid. Tony frowned, moving a bit closer so he could nuzzle into Steve’s armpit, hoping he wasn't overstepping the line they’d had in place for so long.

“I don’ave one.” Steve’s voice was as clipped and short as it could be with a slight slur. Unpleasant. Mean. Too much like when they first came together and Steve didn’t like him.

“Whaddya mean, babe?” Tony asked, scrunching up his nose as the endearment slipped out.

God, had he really drunk enough that he was letting himself use freaking pet names? Even still, he didn’t like how Steve sounded, or that he was staring ahead and not looking down at Tony like he had been. He patted the tummy under his hand and then gave it a little rub, beaming to himself when Steve’s lips twitched into the smallest of smiles.

Yep. Alright. He had definitely drunk enough to call Steve babe if he was rubbing his belly.

God.

“Wait...Cap, really? Aren’t you like, ninety years old? Can you just not get it up in your old age or what?” Clint laughed as he spoke and even as confused as Tony was, he knew it wasn’t a kind noise.

“I can get it up just fine,” Steve gritted out. Tony slipped his hand under Steve’s shirt to press against his warm skin, wanting to comfort and feeling too high on the way Steve was still holding him close to hold himself back. When Steve said nothing in protest, Tony made a happy little noise and cuddled closer, tracing over the bumps of Steve's abs as he listened to the conversation going on around him, letting himself float in the comfortable haze that had settled over him. It wasn’t often than he didn’t drink himself stupid, so this easy-going, little-more-than-tipsy state he was in was nice.

Even as tactical as they already were with each other—teasing touches and small moments stolen away together—this blatant, full body affection wasn’t something they’d had before. Tony felt starved for it, now that he’d finally gotten a taste, and he’d be damned if he lost it because Clint was being an ass hole.

“Do all warriors not mate before going into battle?” Thor asked. He belched loudly, laughing as he threw his mug onto the ground and it just bounced away. Yeah, Tony had learned his lesson about Thor and breakables.

“I’m sure 'ome do, if they have someone to do that with,” Steve told him kindly. How he was still managing to be so respectful was beyond Tony, since he was almost certain Steve was uncomfortable. Emotionally. He was very comfortable physically.

“Wait, you never had anyone? What about that girl? Thought you two were in love?” Natasha asked, leaning forward in her chair with obvious interest. Tony frowned as he wrapped himself tighter around Steve.

Mine, he thought, sliding his hand over bare skin so he could grab hold of Steve’s side. This is mine.

“Peggy and I were...It'as complicated, for how simple it was. But no, ‘Tasha, we never did that.” Steve was beginning to sound a bit clearer, but he was still obviously upset. Tony hated the way it deepened his voice and added infliction to his vowels.

“I think I’ll be heading to bed now,” Steve told the room, pulling his arm from around Tony’s shoulders and making to move.

“Noooooo,” Tony cried, wrapping himself around Steve’s rather impressive bicep and then getting distracted at how warm his skin was and how nice it was to rub his forehead against the hard muscle. He took a deep breath and told himself that if everything went to shit, he could say he was drunker than he really was. “Take me with you,” he said, and then quieter, only for Steve, “please.”

Steve let out a breath, and Tony didn’t look up in case the noise was one of displeasure. A moment later Steve's arm was returning to where it had been around his shoulders, but then slipping down to his back. Before Tony could say anything, Steve was standing with Tony in his arms, held in a bridal carry. If it wasn't such an impressive—and very, very arousing—show of strength, Tony would definitely protest being carried that way, but as it was, he tucked his face against the warm skin of Steve's neck and prayed they got to the elevator as quickly as possible.

----

When the elevator doors closed, Steve took a deep breath that shook through his body. His shoulders slumped, and Tony made a little noise of distress as he was lowered, wrapping an arm around Steve’s shoulders before realizing the man may have been trying to let him down. Thankfully Steve just straightened back out, saving Tony the embarrassment of clinging to someone who was trying to let him go.

Neither of them said anything for a long moment. The elevator blocked out the murmur of noise from the living room, and all that could be heard was their breathing. Steve was breathing quickly, obviously upset, and Tony made a noise that he hoped was soothing as he gently touched the back of Steve’s neck gently, just a soft caress with the tips of his fingers that made Steve shiver.

“Clint’s an ass hole,” Tony said quietly, tightening his hold on Steve’s neck when the man didn’t say anything.

When Steve broke the silence they’d fallen into, Tony wished he hadn’t. “We should talk,” Steve said, his voice sombre. Tony tensed up before shifting his weight so Steve would let him down. The soldier didn’t, and instead grabbed Tony even tighter, all but hugging him to his chest. “It’s nothing bad, darlin’.”

Tony shivered at the endearment, his heart kicking up. He’d never had much of a thing for pet names before but...damn did Steve’s voice sound good all rumbly. He cuddled closer, because despite what Steve was saying...nothing good ever came from those words, especially for Tony.

“Whatever you say, Cap,” Tony said, shrugging as much as he could while being held in Steve’s arms the way he was.

“Tony,” Steve’s voice was thick, and he turned to press his face into Tony’s neck. Tony moved even closer. When Steve spoke again, Tony could feel Steve’s breath against his temple. “If anythin’, I’m the one about to get my heart broken.”

That...had not been what Tony had been expecting. It was the closest thing to an admission that either of them had gotten to since things started between them, and it took Tony’s breath away. He knew how he felt, and God did he feel, but until now Steve hadn’t said anything about the tension between.

Granted, Tony hadn’t said anything either, but it seemed like that was about to change.

“My floor, J,” Tony mumbled, his lips brushing against Steve’s neck. The man shivered again, and it travelled through Tony.

The elevator ride was taken in silence, for which Tony was thankful. He had no idea what to say, and he wasn’t sure he would trust his voice like this, held closely to Steve’s body. He was overwhelmed by the man’s touch, even after they’d been cuddled so close to each other on the couch. This felt like so much more, if only because Steve was holding him up in his arms.

The doors opened silently, and Tony was grateful the trip had been silent and not filled with the rock music he usually had blaring from the elevators speakers. Steve carried him into Tony’s bedroom without a word, navigating through Tony’s floor easily. It certainly wasn’t his first time up here, but as Steve made his way easily into the bedroom, Tony realized just how fully Steve had infiltrated his space.

“You can let me down now,” Tony said quietly, not sure if he wanted to break the heavy atmosphere that had settled between them. Still, Tony knew he couldn’t hold it off forever, and he’d rather have Steve break his heart now than draw it.

“Okay,” Steve told him, but he didn’t do anything for a long moment in which Tony’s heart sped up faster and faster.

When Steve did let Tony down, he kept them pressed together tightly, his arms shifting to Tony’s waist, holding him in a hug. Tony’s own arms were still around Steve’s neck, and he slowly brought them down until his hands were cupping Steve’ collar.

“Steve,” Tony said quietly, staring up into the prettiest pairs of eyes he’d ever seen and losing himself in them. “I feel like I’m getting some real mixed signals here.”

Steve snorted, though he did take a small step back, his hands lingering along Tony’s hips before dropping to his side.

“I’m asexual,” Steve said plainly. His tone was defensive even if his arms were still held loosely at his sides.

Tony blinked, mentally replayed what Steve had said, and then blinked again. “Okay?”

“Okay?” Steve asked incredulously, his eyes widening.

“I mean, thank you for telling me. I’m bisexual? Pretty sure you knew that but in the spirit of coming out, there ya go. But what does that have to do with us?” Tony asked, fiddling with his fingers. Waiting for Steve to tell him he wasn’t interested was starting to get to him, and he picked at his cuticle absently as he breathed through his nose.

“Tony...” Steve’s voice was raw, and when Tony finally looked back up, Steve was staring at him with a look Tony didn’t know what to do with.

“We haven’t said anything but. I really like you. Might even love you, a bit. And I don’t know if you feel the same way, but I. I hope that you do.”

“Of course, Tony, darling, of course I love you,” Steve reached out and tugged Tony close, his hand so, so warm when it wrapped around Tony’s wrist and then around his waist.

“I know I’ve had a lot of sex, but I also know how to masturbate, and I’m really good at it,” Tony told him, placing his hand gently on Steve’s chest. “Is cuddling okay?” Tony asked hesitantly, and Steve’s smile was blinding.

“Yeah, honey, cuddling is more than okay. Love holding you close,” Steve rumbled, pulling Tony into his arms and holding him against his chest, looking down at him warmly. “Kisses are okay too.”

“Really?” Tony asked brightly, his face stretching into a smile that made his cheeks ache as his heart kicked up again.

Steve nodded, and told him, “I don’t like too much tongue, but I definitely wanna kiss my fella right about now.”

“Your fella?” Tony asked. He laughed happily, and the noise got lost in Steve’s mouth with their lips slid together, finally.

[jinelynsblog-blog]

To the people who's reading this, Good Day!

I am a girl who was born short, not-so-pretty human being and a person who eager to achieved the goal which I dreamt for and to be.  I am certainly and obviously a very simple one that is very comfortable and fortunate to be simplier as nobody else can't duplicate. I am being named as "JINELYN F. DUGHO" and living 18 long years as of now. I used to like people with strange attitude without knowing that those certain being had a bad adaptable influences from the past because I know that everyone has the right to change, I am the typical kind of girl who doesn't want extravagant things but values the smaller one. All my life I have lived with the people who loved, cared and supported me the most, my family. They were the one who let me engaged into even a very small thing but ofcourse they also gave me the freedom to appreciate and wish for a bigger thing. Like my family, I was screwed up within myself but they've got to gave me what I want such as letting me go together with the man I love. This is why, I myself has been craving for something I never wished they will.

In regards to the life I have now, I'm taking the course BS Psychology. In the view of the fact that this is the very choice I knew can change my way of living. Thus, It has many job opportunities. I never wished a certain course that would make other people amaze because once I questioned myself "What if i can't even go further this typical course? What if it has more complicated consequences?". The reason why I let myself to go further the course of BS Psychology, Because no matter where I want to apply for job, I can easily take it because I've got to know how I am going to deal with myself as well as dealing with others, of course there would be numbers of reason why Psychology made me think about my first choice for some reason and extent, I really wished to learn the things I want to go further such as knowing the people's behavior about on how they are going to deal with me and also enhancing my skill in observing people certain works and  perception, that's all.

When we talk about interest. Of course I have a lot of that! But the first thing that i love to do  the most and enjoy is Cheering. When I was a child, I always wanted to join dancing competition and even presentations, so i practised myself. But the thing that I never wished I could and would be is to become a CHEERLEADER. I myself has impersonated a skillful one without dreaming it, but ofcourse, I worked for it. I worked without the aim of anyone or anything. Cheering for me is the best and could be the best part of my entire life. Though it is very dangerous and riskful but still don't allow myself to give up because I know that everything in this world is achievable. Once Ienstein said " Everything a genius, but if you judge a fish by it'a ability to climb a tree, It will live it's whole life believing it is stupid". Therefore, I practised myself not to accept negative criticism because I know it would change my trust to myself and I don't allow myself to live with anxiety and depression. So instead, I am motivating through believing that I can. Remembering, " My journey should be more rewarding than my goal".

[bixgirl1]

Hello, Bix! I've been meaning to ask, whether you had got an inspiration for you "Balance. Imperfect" from "The Light More Beautiful" by firethesound? I've just read it and it's brilliant and I was excited to spot certain glimpces and ideas from your "Balance. Imperfect" there: Harry's leg injury, his insecurity about it and the massage scene where Draco helps to ease the muscle pains)) So, just curious. Thank you! P.S.: your 'Balance.. is my all time favourite number 1 !

Hi anon!No, I didn't. Although that's a really interesting observation, particularly since The Light More Beautiful is one of my favorite fics. But I don't think of that so much as a disability fic (strangely enough; it certainly deals with the aspects of disability, so I'm not sure why that is; I guess in my head it's more of a casefic/romance?) and when writing Balance, I really wanted to devote the themes clearly to recovery from disability. For a PT, things like massage would be expected in the therapeutic routine, so it just worked out like that. Mostly, my inspiration came from wanting to write something that dealt intensively with the healer/patient ethics, and with the grief that one has to cope with after being permanently disabled; I've mentioned in a previous ask that my husband is disabled, and watching him recover and adapt was/has been something very powerful, so I wanted to see if I could capture something similar in a fic. And I'm so glad you like it!! That always means a lot to hear, as it'a so close to my heart. Thanks so much! ❤

[nothesc]

Hii!!

New prompt! This is a mix of all the prompts I received about yesterday’s clip.

The prompts were:

“ I have a prompt request if it'a okay because I love the bakkoush siblings and Yousana :) Based on the latest "Ramadan" clip : Elias is angry at Yousef and confront him. “

“ Prompt after the newest clip of sadness, (please only get to this if you have time) Elias pov, talking some god damn sense into Yousef about what he's doing. Cus Elias doesn't have time for nonsense like this. “

“ Hellooo I have a prompt if you are looking for ideas: Elias grilling Yousef about what's going on with him and Noora (I'll let you decide whether he lets on that he ships yousana haha). Also possibly Sana overhears?? “

“ I have a prompt. Sorry, I know you probably have so many, but I want things to be okay, even if everything is so sad now. So I was thinking that while Sana was in her room, crying, Yousef will come back to the boys and he will be sad and will tell them everything, he will start to cry and then he will ask permission to Elias to let him see Sana and he will go to her room and she will not let him enter, but he would do that anyway and they will see each other crying and they will fix everything.”

“ Hi! Okay so I know you already wrote something about Elias confronting Yousef but I wanted to ask if you could write something about Yousef finding out what the boys said to Elias and realizing that Sana could have heard them and Elias could have thought he was playing with her sister's feelings... let me know if you decide to write it! “

So I decided to make a mix of all these prompts. I didn’t want to make Elias angry or violent or anything like this because I think that being Ramadan he would want to try and be patient with him and understand him. 

I hope that you like it and that it doesn’t upset anyone.

-------------------------------------x-----------------------

Elias was still shocked and angry about Adam’s and Mikael’s revelation about Yousef meeting Noora when his friend joined them.

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m late” Yousef said greeting each boy with a hand shake

When he got to Elias, though, he didn’t returned the greeting and just stared at him

“Where were you?” Elias asked

“Just out, dealing with some stuff” Yousef said shrugging

“It’s that how people call it these days?” Mikael asked laughing

“What are you talking about?” Yousef asked confused

“I know you were with Noora” Elias said bitterly

Yousef widened his eyes at that comment and looked at the rest of his friends trying to figure out how he could know

“Mikael and me saw you and Noora in a park in our way here” Adam explained

“It’s not what you think. I have an explanation” Yousef said facing Elias

“Really? Enlighten me”

Yousef thought for a moment about the best way to explain everything, he didn’t want his friend to think that he had been playing with his sister all this time, because he hadn’t, not at all.

“I met Noora to tell her that there won’t be anything between us, ever”

“And why would she think that there could be something between you in the first place?”

“Because…because we kissed a couple of weeks ago…at the karaoke place” Yousef admitted looking at the floor

It took Elias a moment to process all the information, his mind went back to that day and then to the days that had passed since then, everything was starting to make sense, especially certain girl’s behavior.

He wanted to scream at his friend, he wanted to curse him, he even wanted to punch him but he tried to calm down, he decided to give him a chance to explain everything, he wanted to forgive him.

“That’s why she’s so upset” Elias whispered more to himself than for the others to hear

“Who?” Yousef asked

“Who do you think?” Elias said, he didn’t want to say his sister’s name out loud, he didn’t want to reveal her feelings, not in front of the rest of the boys

“How could she…?”

“She saw you. I’m pretty sure she saw you”

“What? No, she couldn’t, how?”

“She didn’t leave with me, she probably just went back inside after the fight”

“I screwed up, I screwed up big time” Yousef said covering his face with his hands

“She’s been acting really weird since that day, always sad, always angry. I thought it was just about the fight but I’m not so sure anymore” Elias explained

“What’s going on?” Mutta asked “I’m lost here”

“Nothing, this is between me and Yousef” Elias said

“I screwed up, I screwed up, I screwed up” Yousef kept repeating

He looked at the sky and then back at his friend but something caught his attention.

“Is that Sana’s bedroom?” he asked pointing at a window on the house

“Yes, it is” Elias said confused as to why that was important

“The window is opened. Have you talked about me and Noora here?”

“Yes…”

“Do you think she…?” Yousef left the question unfinished

Elias widened his eyes when he realized what his friend was implying.

“Let’s go”

Both of them entered the house leaving three confused boys behind. They went straight to Sana’s bedroom and tried to open the door but it was blocked, like something was against it.

“Sana? It’s me open the door” Elias said

“Leave me alone Elias” Sana said

“Sana, please, why are you blocking the door? What’s going on?” he tried again

This time she didn’t answer. She had been crying for the past half an hour. She looked at the paper on her bed, the one with Noora’s password. She was tempted to use it, to expose Sara and to hurt them all the way they had hurt her, but something was stopping her. She didn’t want to be like this. She wanted to be a better person than them.

“Sana? It’s me, Yousef. Please let me in”

She froze the instant she heard that voice. What was he doing there? Why did he want to talk to her? Was he there to tell him that he was dating her best friend? She was definitely not ready for that.

“Please, Sana…” he almost whispered.

He turned around to look at his friend with a defeated expression.

“She’s not going to open the door” he said

“You think the window is still opened?” Elias whispered

“There’s only one way to find out” Yousef said making his way out of the house.

He went back to the backyard where the boys still waited for them. He got to the window, which was in fact opened, and climbed it getting in the bedroom with a jump.

“What the…what are you doing Yousef? Who do you think you are to enter my bedroom without my permission?” Sana yelled angry

“I’m sorry okay? But you wouldn’t open the door!”

“And why do you think is that?” she asked exasperated

“We need to talk”

“No, we don’t” she said wiping away the tears that had been rolling down her face.

“Please, don’t cry” he said taking a step towards her, a step she took backwards.

He nodded and looked behind him, all the boys were looking at them from the grass. He walked over to the window and closed it, this was a private conversation.

“Let me say what I have to say and then if you want me to, I’ll leave”

She avoided his eyes but nodded knowing that he wasn’t leaving anyway.

“Did you see us? At the karaoke place, did you see us?” he asked

She closed her eyes and said nothing

“I’ll take it as a yes.” He nodded “Did you hear the guys talking about me meeting her today?”

Again Sana said nothing, which he took as a confirmation.

“It’s not what you think” he said

“I don’t want to know”

“Just hear me out please”

Sana took a deep breath and sat on the bed preparing herself for the pain.

“I kissed Noora because I wanted to forget about you”

“What?”

“I…I thought you didn’t feel anything about me, I thought there was no hope between you and me.”

“So you kissed my best friend? Great” she said bitterly

“Sana, you ignored me for a week, you unfriended me on Facebook, then we spent this amazing afternoon together and I thought that everything was going to be okay, but then you didn’t talk to me during the whole week”

“Neither did you”

“I know…But I thought…I thought that maybe I was bothering you, that maybe me always trying to contact you was annoying to you. I thought that if you felt something about me you’d talk to me, that maybe you were just being polite and that’s all”

“I didn’t talk to you first ‘cause I was afraid that it was all a game to you” she admitted

“It wasn’t. I swear it wasn’t” he said taking a step closer. “When I got to the club that Friday and saw Even there, I thought that I was right, that you were only being nice to me so you could reunite us. It was stupid and I’m sorry. So when Noora kissed me I kissed her back thinking that I’d be able to forget you. But I couldn’t, so I stopped the kiss, told her I was sorry and left”

“You stopped the kiss?” she asked

“Yes. I didn’t know you were there, if I had known…I wish I had never kissed her.”

“I wish you hadn’t…”

“After that, you kept ignoring me and again my fears came back, I was sure that you didn’t feel anything about me, I was ready to finally give up on you but yesterday…playing with you, seeing you smile, it made me feel alive and I realized that I didn’t want to give up on you, I don’t want to give up on you”

“It was the first time I’d smiled in two weeks” she said looking at the floor “It was important to me. So that’s why it hurt me so much when I found out you were with Noora today”

“I was with her to tell her that I’m not interest in her, that nothing will happen between us, because I like someone else…I like you. And even if you hate me now, even if you never give me a chance, I can’t pretend that I can forget about you and be with someone else. I just can’t”

“We have a serious problem of communication you and me” she said shaking her head and feeling stupid for making assumptions.

“We do” he said approaching her and crouching in front of her. “But maybe now that it’s all out in the open we can get better”

“Not everything is out. There’s still one more thing that has been left unspoken”

“What is it?” he frowned

“I like you too” she said smiling

His smile matched hers after hearing those words from her mouth.

“But we can’t keep doing this, we can’t keep assuming things and not talking to each other” she said

“I agree. And I promise that I won’t act stupidly again”

“That’s a lot to promise” she laughed

“Okay, I’ll probably act stupidly, but I won’t ever hurt you again”

“And I promise I won’t make assumptions and I’ll talk to you when things happen”

“Cool. It’s a deal” he said smiling

“It is”

----------------------------x-------------------------

This is it!!

Thank you so much to everyone that sended at prompt and I really hope you’ve liked it!

Thank you all for reading♥

[tinaysabella]

Hi. Soooo there's just some stuff I wanna say. Confession or rambling or whatever. It's been awhile since I wrote something like this but maybe writing this down would make so much more sense.

This is purely self-indulgent. Maybe in hopes that this will bring me some sense of catharsis. God knows that I've been needing this for a long time.

(Part of me wants to see if there are people in my past who recognize me. Or what I once was before I... unrepressed some things. Part of me wishes that they look at me and see someone they're not familiar anymore. Because this one right now is sober and sharper and maybe disillusioned by any bullshit now.)

So I've been digging up a lot of repressed.... emotions and the one thing I dislike about this process is that it's emotionally draining. Terrifying at times. And while it's good that it's out there, it's painful.

A huge part that played in a lot of things in my life is this one toxic relationship. I know many look past it all and don't really think much but it hurts how invisible my pain comes across to a lot of people.

Imagine you're just a little kid. You don't know much about the world yet and you may have a slightly chaotic household in your childhood days with a huge dose of insecure attachment styles and on top all that, you have this toxic relationship with this friend.

Imagine being around them from preschool to gradeschool to high school. And thinking of them as if they're your whole universe, like it's you and them against the whole world. You don't want to think about all the people she pulled you away from or the people who warned you about her because you thought nothing mattered...

And for awhile that was your world. For awhile that was what you thought relationships are. For awhile, you thought you had no sense of yourself in any shape or form in the relationship and that was normal. This horrible horrible friendship is the pinnacle, the blueprint of what you believed in relationships of whatever form.

For a long while, you thought that was normal.

For a long while, you thought it was okay.

And people think, it's oh it's just a relationship, you got out of there. But if you've been in that environment for a long time, you realize (maybe a little too late) how much that messes with your head.

One of my best friends even said it was abuse. They reasoned that that person knew what they were doing was messed up and kept doing it anyway. I was too blinded for whatever I felt for that person to see how much this messed with my head.

It was only college (around 2015/2016) when it ended. It didn't mean I was okay, though. For awhile, I thought I was in the wrong. The relationships I had in college felt as though I was reenacting some form of what I had with that person. Because at that time, I thought that was what relationships were supposed to be... and that was what I was supposed to do.

2017 I was already at rock bottom (or my first rock bottom). I didn't know why I was the way I was at that time. I just knew I was lonely, that no one understood me, that "I'm not like the other girls" (and this was the thing that stuck with me since high school), and that I had to leave that place. Graduate. Get that degree and move on to med school.

2018/2019 me thought that this was it. A new chapter, a new me, a new person, meeting new people who have no idea where I'm from. I thought it was finally over. I moved past things.

But I was wrong. Late 2019 had too many depressive episodes and a whole dose of unrepressing a lot of shit. Too many late night epiphanies of the people you draw yourself to, the behaviors you perpetuate around certain people and how unhealthy your mindset towards romance, friendships, people, yourself and you wonder late at night just what else about these things have you been internalizing...

And then suddenly, something beautiful happens. I grew some kind of confidence for myself. I was aware of my abandonment issues, codependence (and comp het) and actually doing the work to unlearn my behaviors and thinking and beliefs. I recognize my wants! I recognize my needs! And my presence in relationships matter! I have worth!

I no longer want to tolerate that bullshit. It's the first time in years thar I feel so powerful and brave. I'm a little terrified of this part of myself. She hasn't come out of me yet but it's like she's biding her time. But I'm curious, even excited, for her to just be that badass bitch she's always wanted to be.

There are times when I feel them... lingering. What we had bled into so many friendships that came after that. But I want to move past that now. I want better things. I deserve better things. I deserve the best. I deserve more.

(My past self deserved better too. She deserved to be loved and cherished.)

It'a not over, this process. Whatever this is. But I'm getting there. I don't exactly know where but to some place better, more peaceful. I know I'm still a work in progress but at least this place is a lot better than before.. And I don't want to ever go back to how things were. Not ever.