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howl-fantasies · 1 year

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Jello~ just had some random gotham thoughts 😙

What if [name] was Thomas Wayne's junior in Gotham academy. The little turd helped Wayne get himself a Mrs.

What if [name] is bff's with Deathstroke. They're not even best frienemies, just bff's. And it makes both Victor, Ed and even Barbara jealous 😆

What if [name] was holding back on her abilities, even when it's only her and Victor? But for what?

What if, Thomas Wayne was the first Batman?? No one knew because he wasn't all "I am the night!" With it.

What if he then handed over the Bat to [name] but she didn't want it cause it felt like a burden?

But... What if meta villains started appearing in Gotham trying to take over? The Bat needed to rise again.

What if [name] was the one of the founders of the justice league and not Bruce?

What if Bruce started out as a Robin? He didn't know it was [name] under that mask, but he didn't care to know because he wanted to protect Gotham. And his mentor was doing just that.

P.s. if [name] was Batman and let go, she'd totally kick everyone's asses.

P.p.s [name] would be a much scarier Batman or woman? Idk- I'm not good with names

Hello dear! Thank you so much for your request, it gave me a lot to think about during my sport, and I absolutely enjoyed every second of this deep-thinking session you instigated. Made me forget the pain 😂

So! Here are the answers to your questions:

Warning: dark themes, Gotham, twisted moral, mention of violence.

Word Count: 4.538

Tags: @immortal-velociraptor @keffirinne

GOTHAM RANDOM THOUGHTS AND INSIGHTS

What if [name] was Thomas Wayne's junior in Gotham academy. The little turd helped Wayne get himself a Mrs.

It's technically possible and and love this idea. But it brings up another question first: how does a child from the Narrows find herself in Gotham Academy?

We know Y/N has a sharp brain. As she grew in The Narrows and had to work for Carmine after her dad borrowed money from one of the king's loan shark, she often found herself thinking about the mob and its working. Clearly, the dirty work she was doing was for men also doing the dirty work themselves for bigger fishes.

She hated every second of her courier job but quickly came to realize that her evolution into the mob, since she was now corrupted by it, was inevitable. Her father's debt would never be paid back and if he or her mother died - which they did, when she was 14 - she would have to carry the whole burden.

If she didn't do something, maybe one day she would be a loan shark herself, still doing the dirty work for Carmine's officers and having some wannabe thugs / hungry or coaxed children to order around. Still, she was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to pay Falcone and his goons back.

Plus, excuse her, but even as a kid, she had some ego. Being ordered around like a dog running blindly where it's told to was out of the question. So, she asked herself what bigger fishes had in common. Obviously, aside from knowing how to use a gun: a proper education. And a good and clean background to show off during public events.

She never participated one but she saw Carmine's officers parading in town and heard about the prestigious schools those fuckers had graduated from. Gotham Academy was one of them.

She took the tests, asking for Wayne's ancestral scholarship, and passed the tests with flying colors. Y/N was lucky she's got a good memory and knew how to break into one of the Narrows' dingy but surprisingly helpful library.

Her years in GA were pretty boring until the day she met THE Thomas Wayne. How? Not during one of his classmates' bullying or her beating the absolute shit out of them - she wasn't an idiot, fighting would mean losing her scholarship, she would pay one of her friends from the Narrows to do that for her later.

No, Thomas simply was interested by her point of view. His father let him read out of curiosity one of the tests she had to pass to be accepted in his world. It was about moral. And the pristine young man was quite curious about how his junior would already possess such nihilistic point of view. So he asked her.

And god did they talk. They were never able to find a common ground. Thomas was an idealist while she was claiming to be realistic, she told him more than once. But he liked her wit and she liked his. So they kind of matched and started a kind of friendship.

And this is because of this friendship that Y/N decided to play matchmaker with Thomas and Marta. Also because she was ready to rip her own head off as Thomas was sighing like a stupid enamored guy just next to her EVERY freaking time Martha was around.

"Dude, I tell you this as a friend. Grow some balls or something and go tell her some fuckeries about love, birds and bees and take her out. Or I swear I'm going to punch you."

He obliged. It was tedious and she had to experiment the famous and insufferable "let's pretend I'm your crush, what do you tell her?" Who do you think Bruce has to thank for his incredible awkwardness uh? You got it.

She wasn't too worried about Thomas being hurt or his family hating his potential lover. Martha was the perfect opportunity for Y/N to test her skills in spying and collecting information all around the school and town. The woman was clean, everything was perfect.

Got one of her more memorable shouting contest with Wayne after he found out about her little investigation, though. "What's wrong with you Y/N?!"

"What's wrong?! What's wrong?! Nothing, you fucking rich kid! I did what any Gothamite would have done before starting something with someone! Get out of your fucking manor and your pretty rich boy clothes and go see by yourself how it is necessary when you don't have an entire task force to wipe your ass, Wayne!"

He was stunned but have to give her some credit. She came from the Narrows and he wouldn't be a douche enough to pretend it may not have a huge influence on how someone sees relationships in Gotham.

Plus he had to recognize later she did a pretty good job. Had to tell Martha at some point, too afraid about what she would do if she ever finds out. She was mad, like he was, but impressed. She made her swear she'd never do it again, though. "Scout Word", was the only answer she got. And we all know what it means in the other woman's mouth. Exactly. Nothing at all.

What if [name] is bff's with Deathstroke. They're not even best frienemies, just bff's. And it makes both Victor, Ed and even Barbara jealous 😆

Oh boy, the drama here. But we all live for it, right?

I think both of them being best friends is very interesting too. I don't think they would meet during a mission where they had the same target, it wouldn't do. We all know Wilson is literally a beast. Even more after his coma, so it wouldn't make sense to put them in a conflicting position, she wouldn't even have the chance to move and he would eradicate her in a second. I also think they might have a few years difference too. Deathstroke being older.

Y/N met him a bit after his coma and the safari hunting thing. Let me explain. After his coma, Wilson heard he could no longer serve in the army and was depressed. His wife always suspected he wasn't really satisfied with his new hunting and safari thing. She was right.

Wilson found himself in Gotham when the Lady offered him a contract and told him to go to her illegal casino for a meeting. He wasn't the only one present here that night.

Y/N was here too. Even if she was still working for Falcone's family as a courier, she couldn't go to the man and simply tell him she hated it and would give him his money back if he let her start a whole new kind of missions for him.

First, she would never be able to approach him. She was a little woodlouse and he was the freaking king of the city. Second, even if she managed to barge into his house like some grand villain epic queen, what experience or guaranties would she have to offer to convince him to let her climb the crime ladder? None.

At this time, her only weapon was her brain. So she approached the lady instead. She Offered her to collect information around town about this and that to help her assassins. In exchange, she wanted to be paid and trained.

The lady wasn't impressed. But after Martha, Y/N had the time to work on her spying skills, and even discovered she was quite good with any kind of technology put into her hands, especially the first computers.

This is how she was introduced to Wilson. He needed some insights about his target and information. He could have done the job himself but didn't want to stay in town too long and make his wife even more suspicious. He liked young Y/N's way of working. She was clear, concise and damn well organized. Clinical.

His target worked in R&D for one of Wayne's rival company. He had to kill them and bring back to the Lady's client the technology he was working on.

While Y/N was spying, she developed a program able to crack and unlock practically any 'simple door', working with a digital code or imprint. Thanks GA and their super-nice computers bought by the Waynes.

For doors locked with more protections, well, "You're the G.I Joe here dude. Put some C-4 on it or fucking run like a bull on steroids to explode them. Your shit, not mine." He liked her foul mouth, and liked the diskette she had created for him, allowing him to finish his mission quickly.

He also saw the intelligence in it. And in her too cold brown eyes. Yep, he liked her, and didn't tell the Lady to go fuck herself when she explained him the "kid" wanted to be trained as a payment.

Wilson still is far better than her in combat or with weapons, but he did a pretty good job teaching her. Clearly, Jim and everyone in town who had the absolute shit beat out of them know who to insult now.

A few years later, when Y/N started to work and sleep with Victor, she mentioned she had an appointment with her 'sports coach' to Victor. Beings paranoid, he had to follow her and discovered her best friendship with Deathstroke. THE Deathstroke. Why and how did she always managed to know every interesting people in and out Gotham?! And why did they interact like they knew each other for ages? He was livid.

"Do you fuck him?" Woah, Victor being Victor. Always direct and asking the most inappropriate things with a placid voice and blank face. Man never disappoints.

"Dude has kids. Zsasz" She answered with a sigh.

"Oh. Did I ask if you fucked his kids?" He said making her laugh so hard she had to smash her hands a few times on his car dashboard.

"Well for the records, I'm not into kids. And I'm not into real daddies." She replied mischievously.

He wasn't convinced. And, if you ask him, he is still sure they both fucked each other at some point. And it makes him so mad he could shoot and cut the entire city.

He's not stupid enough to attack Wilson, Zsasz doesn't want to die so soon. But he may have sent a picture of his wedding band to him. His annular wasn't extended, though. But his middle finger clearly was.

Wilson found it funny and always find some time to rile Victor up with his true and incredible friendship with his wife.

Ed wouldn't acknowledge Wilson super-intelligence, always referring to him as 'the beast' or 'brawn-man'. Is he petty? Totally. But he refuses Deathstroke and Y/N genuine friendship. Wilson must have threatened her at some point.

Nygma would pout like a 5yo every time Wilson would answer one of his riddles right and accuse him to cheat. He tried once to tell him that he wasn't correct because he was expected one of Y/N's kinky and twisted answer instead and was baffled when Wilson would give him the exact answer she would have given to Riddler.

Nope. Nu-hu, it was only chance or some planets alignment. The beast didn't know her THAT well. He, ThE rIdDlEr, did. Even better than Victor and Barbara, he was sure.

Barbara would be beyond mad. Furious. She would spat like an angry cat at Wilson and threaten him to shoot him, to torture him, she even tried once her super-ninja skills on him and saw her sorry ass being kicked like it never was before. She owes her survival to Y/N, who had to explain Wilson with a loud and bored sigh that she was an "unkillable bitch".

Not because she was so good at what she did, no. But "because God might find her funny and reload her every fucking time, like a final boss or a running joke". Deathstoke snorted and like to remind Barbara what Y/N said anytime she threatens him to attack him.

What if [name] was holding back on her abilities, even when it's only her and Victor? But for what?

It would be difficult for her to hold back with Zsasz. He might not be as good as Wilson, but he's a pretty skilled and observant assassin himself. He would know because of her posture / reflexes that she's holding back. And it would be really dangerous for her.

Physically, she wouldn't try her chance against her husband, she would only win because she would outsmart him. Which is also quite difficult since Victor possesses a fine street intelligence. But she managed to do it once or twice before they started banging each other. Without this, she would be dead.

Now, what Y/N is holding back from Zsasz is information. She has her own vision and comprehension of the city and likes to know what happens, with who, and for what. Victor knows she's skilled with a computer in her hands, but he doesn't know she works on many digital and R&D projects on her own. Gotham was a little crime oasis now, but it would change, it always changes. And she would have to survive and adapt.

And the city won't be secluded forever. What would happen if some villain from another city decided to annex it or, who knows, what would happen if mutants like Wilson raised and decided to take over the city and plunge it into chaos? Don't get her wrong, she basked in chaos, but in a calculated one.

Her many discussions with Deathstroke led them to speak about his training for Vietnam and how the army tried to incorporate new ways of fighting and thinking.

Even if computers and technologies started to be used in Gotham, they both knew it would play an important role in everybody's life in a few years and could make terrifying weapons. So she decided to experiment, stealing Government's informations about their technological programs or Wayne's rival ones.

She was also very interested by the Wayne's own researches but asked Thomas if she could consult them, she was a criminal but with some manners, and they had history, and she offered to work on a few programs for him with one of his new employee: Lucius Fox.

Both would work very well together and promised Thomas they would never ever talk about their collaboration and act like perfect strangers if fate ever put them face to face outside.

Victor isn't an idiot, he knows about Y/N's restless mind and her capacity to anticipate things. As long as her secrets don't compromise his missions, he is ok with it.

He lives in present and for action, and is gladly letting the plotting and worrying about Gotham's future to his wife. Though, he often wonders what it would be to take a look into Y/N's head to see what keeps her awake so many nights.

Holding back on her abilities with the rest of villains isn't a problem. It's in fact one of her strategies to confuse them. She plays the sassy and insane woman really well, she also is but not as much as she likes to show. Her silly antics tend to lure them into a false sense of security.

Don't get me wrong here too. People in town know not to mess with her, she isn't Gotham No.2 assassin because of her Colgate's smile. She shoots very well and they know it too. But they don't really realize how capable she is in hand to hand combat. Jim experienced it once and realized she let him arrest her.

Oswald and Ed noticed it too when they kidnapped her, tied her up to a chair and couldn't do anything when she still found a way to escape. Same with the GCPD in the OS Bloodbath, they clearly didn't think Y/N would play Trinity or some Matrix character.

Clearly, she wasn't only good with guns. What was her limits? For now only Wilson and Zsasz know about it. If you ask them, be ready for a shit-eating grin making cold sweat break on your back.

What if, Thomas Wayne was the first Batman?? No one knew because he wasn't all "I am the night!" With it.

Again, totally possible. We saw it when Bruce and Alfred unlocked the soon to be Batcave. Everything was already set and the letter Thomas left to Bruce made me wonder how far he exploited the idea.

If Thomas was the first Batman, I think he would mostly watch and wait. Collecting information all around the city about every family and shady personality to use them later against them if needed, pretty much like Y/N did and still do but for other purposes.

Thomas wouldn't do it to fight people in a flamboyant way like Bruce will, but in a softer way, providing proofs and elements for the GCPD and justice to stop the criminals before they burn the city into the ground because of their greed. I think he wanted to preserve a balance.

The power dynamic when Thomas was working on the cave was already established with Falcone as the King, Maroni as his nemesis, thugs here and there but when it started to change and violence as well as corruption increased, Thomas was ready to start his vigilante's project but was brutally killed before he could concretize it. I think he wasn't as strict as Bruce may have been at first. His debate about morality in a city like Gotham with Y/N never really left him.

Gotham is a very special city, based on crime, deceiving and war for power. When Carmine was its King, it worked because the man had some moral and still thought about the city and the citizen, this is why he was frenemy with Jim's father and probably Thomas himself. Carmine was some kind of necessary evil to rule the evil spirits in this evil town.

What if he then handed over the Bat to [name] but she didn't want it cause it felt like a burden?

He would have talked to Y/N about his vigilante project at some point and she may have helped with Lucius to build it. Y/N also wants a balance between good and bad in the city, because she likes Gotham and because too much havoc would bring too much attention and inevitably force the Government to take measures and probably eradicate the city since we know it can't function without crime.

Thomas might have asked her to take his role as a vigilante if anything happened to him. She indeed refused. The burden would be too much, and she has some kind of twisted moral. She already was spying on the important figures in town and used the information mostly for her own personal benefits. She wouldn't do, she would be too tempted to focus on her criminal's mind instead of the greater good.

Someone else needed to take the position to counter her selfishness or the balance wouldn't work anymore. "Let's be realistic here, Thomas. We are friends, yes, but you know I am not a good person. This thing you created needs someone selfless, and it's not me. We both know it too."

Though, she agreed to keep an eye on Gotham until someone worthy takes the position. She hated it, but it wasn't forever. That is basically why she cooperates with the GCPD from time to time and tries to keep Jim and Harvey alive. Well, for Harvey, it's more because they have history and she finds him funny.

She thought Jim would be a good candidate for the job. But when she realized the path Bruce was taking, she quickly understood who would be Gotham next vigilante. She would always feel a bit guilty about it.

Thomas wouldn't have approved. But, like she told him, they both knew she wasn't a good person. So she let it happens. The kid had the shoulders to support the burden and would be way better than her for the job.

She made Thomas a silent promise, though: she would never try to kill his son. And she would stick to it.

But... What if meta villains started appearing in Gotham trying to take over? The Bat needed to rise again.

This is maybe the only scenario where she would be ready to wear a freaking costume and kick some villains' asses for the greatest good. She wouldn't let the city plunge into uncalculated chaos because some stupid super-powered sickos wanted to make everything explode just for the thrill of it. No, chaos needed a good motivation, a clear goal and a clear plan.

So, yeah. She would help Jim and the GCPD do their fucking job until someone takes the place. Jim would notice it's her at some point. And when he would ask her why, she would only say she wanted to eradicate concurrence.

He doubted it but didn't push. He would probably understand years later when Batman would come and he wouldn't see her again playing twisted hero. She was only keeping the vacant seat while waiting for the Batman.

What if [name] was the one of the founders of the justice league and not Bruce?

Since Y/N likes to worry about the future, she may already have anticipated heroes would at some point work together to stem crime, violence and new kind of villains.

Even if she wasn't very present physically in Bruce's life, I think she would always have some project for Lucius and him opened somewhere and exchange at least weekly with them about it.

She suggested the idea to Bruce, explaining him villains were already teaming up, so maybe it was also time for him to reach other super-heroes to do the same.

He wouldn't be too pleased to hear about his "criminal-consultant", as she liked to call herself, advice but Alfred convinced him to do it.

He would keep her updated about the founding of the league, ask for her skills to help Lucius provide them some tools and useful technologies but would always pay a great attention about what information he was giving her. She was still a villain. And technically one of his enemies. But he would hear her advice and gladly takes what she has to offer.

Nobody apart from Lucius, he, Alfred and she would know about who had the idea of the Justice League.

"You're better than me at playing Leader of the Light Brucie, even as the Dark Knight, which is pretty funny by the way. Nobody would ever suspect your good old evil Auntie was the one who came with this brilliant idea. Maybe Riddler, but he's far too busy to speculate about my precarious position between the good and the bad to give a shit."

"You're not my aunt, Y/N. And don't call me Brucie. What about Victor?"

"He would probably ask at some point. Like he asked me if I was the one who invited some aliens to Metropolis when your dear friend Superman started his brilliant heroic career.

"Like he asked me if I was the one who decided the color of the new GCPD's facade. Victor spent the last 15 years imagining I'm some king of great puppet master, or a god, or that you all are Sims and I'm the player. The idea will come and go, don't worry about it too much dear. Just let me brainfuck my husband." She would say. And he would trust her to do it.

What if Bruce started out as a Robin? He didn't know it was [name] under that mask, but he didn't care to know because he wanted to protect Gotham. And his mentor was doing just that.

The irony here. I mean, imagine him being trained by Alfred and Y/N but he didn't know it was her until much later, he would be really salty and some drama would probably happen between the two since she's one of the most prolific assassin in town. Bruce would feel betrayed. But it could be a good opportunity for him to understand things aren't only black or white. He already experienced it with Selina and Y/N would confirm it.

When he heard about some vigilante helping Jim and the GCPD to catch and arrest villains, he would tell Alfred he wanted to work with her, that she was doing the right thing, and, as a Wayne he had a duty to watch over Gotham. Alfred would cringe, he knew about Y/N and why she was doing this, and tried to deter his young master, failing brilliantly at it. He would call her and tell her about the teen's plan and she would be furious, demanding Alfred to freaking tie him up or break his kneecap to keep him far away from her. Again: epic fail.

Teen Bruce would force her hand, popping in all her confrontations with villains and putting his precious life at risk at first, getting an earful from Alfred and Y/N after. Both, the butler and the hitwoman would decide to train him after the fifth time he did it.

She would be his least favorite teacher since she can be cruel and ruthless. Hey, she promised Thomas she wouldn't kill the kid. She never said anything about beating the shit out of him, for his own good.

As an adult, he still sees Y/N as some kind of mentor, even if he would never say it aloud. It would be interesting to imagine Deathstroke recognizing some of Y/N's moves in Bruce fighting technique when he would fight him. Moves, Wilson would have been the one to initially teach her. He would confront her about it and she would politely invite him to go cook his ass on a burning hot grill. But he would know.

And his mind would understand why she did it, even if he wouldn't agree with it. He respects and like her too much to try to force her to reveal Batman's identity to him, so he would let it slide. Ignorance is sometimes a bliss and he didn't want to enter a political and moral game he didn't care about. It was her field, and Batman's.

P.s. if [name] was Batman and let go, she'd totally kick everyone's asses.

🤣I imagined her terrifying villains with her own "I AM THE NIGHT" with the same deep and modified voice Bruce will use later, just for the fun of saying it Bwahahaha!

P.p.s [name] would be a much scarier Batman or woman? Idk- I'm not good with names

She would probably, but not because she would be better than Bruce at fighting or intimidating people. But because she doesn't care to kill her foes. That difference would make her scarier. Villains wouldn't fight to escape jail or Arkham, they would fight for their life if she decided to kill them.

I'll go with my own P.s.: I love the idea of Y/N and Victor still being together many years later when Batman took his vigilante role. Zsasz would still be scary AF and have his own fights with Bruce, never knowing the Bat worked with his wife and personally know her.

As I said earlier, Victor would suspect Y/N's implication in the new order of the city. He knows how she likes to play the game of thrones from afar and monitor who is taking the crown or holding power. In a way, she makes me think of Varys but in a less noble way.

Anyway, as Victor often wonders what she was thinking about and what new secrets she enjoyed keeping from everyone, it would lead him to theorize about the most delirious things (see the points about GCPD new facade and the Sims).

He likes to observe her playing the game, it thrills him and remind him of their glorious days with Carmine. He was there when Falcone told Y/N she understands Gotham better than his own children and shares his vision for the city.

After Sofia's incident, he often thought about this moment and realized that if he had to give his loyalty not only as a lover but as a criminal too to someone, it should be to his wife. She was Carmine's true heir. Not Oswald, not any other mobster or villain. She was. The actual crown wouldn't sit well on her head, but she wears its shadow perfectly.

A/N - I hope you liked my babbling and it was clear enough for you my dear. Thank you again for your request, don't hesitate to ask again I love your thoughts and enjoy thinking about it! Have a beautiful day/night, take care! 💞

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kata-sans · 8 days

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The Tale of the Immortal Tweek

Part2

In South Park Elementary every kid has a thing. The thing as, everyone knows, is what people use to put a lable on someone. It's hard to believe but it's understandably true especially for the fourth grade students.

Tolkien for instance has more money than he knows what to do with. His lable, "The Rich Kid". Jimmy will never pass up an opportunity to crack a joke, labeling him "The Comedian". Even PC Principal is self evident.

Now some kids were known to have more than one lable and Tweek is a great example. His loud outbursts earned him his first lable of being a "Crazy Freak" among peers. He soon earned the title of being a "Trouble Maker" for his fighting skills. Above all he is most known for his "Gay Kid" label. Would it surprise anyone to know he was even labeled "Immortal" at one point?

Wait! How does someone earn a title like that? Well it's not like anyone in South Park is able to die and come back to life, right. Well luckily for Tweek, he didn't need to die to receive such a title. In fact it's an interesting story...

On an uneventful day in South Park, Kenny and his friends were at Stark Pond skating down the hills surrounding it. All the students had gathered at the pond to enjoy the break from school. After their third trip the boys were becoming bored until Cartman devized a plan to speed up the boards with fireworks. Despite Stan and Kyle's initial objection, soon for $2 Kenny was strapped to a rocket firework sitting on the skateboard. How does this relate to Tweek?

Well at the moment Tweek and his boyfriend Craig were walking hand in hand to join their freinds. Tweek was ranting about his newest concern about participating in boxing match.

"GAH! COACH SAYS I NEED TO START BOXING WITH REAL OPPONENTS BUT I CAN'T!! THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"

"Tweek, honey, calm down. You have been boxing for three months. This was bond to come up sooner or later. Coach knows what he's doing."

"NO WAY MAN! ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN TO ME ON THE RING. WHAT IF I DIE ON THERE WITH ALL MY FRIENDS WATCHING."

"Babe it's not gonna kill you to practice boxing with another person.Besides, I think you need to start being more adventurous. You can't live life fearing "what ifs".

Suddenly something flew between them at high speed. The gust of wind knocked the boys down and caused Craig's hat to fly on to the street. Tweek noticed immediately and ran to retrieve it. Craig was horrified as he noticed a car speeding on the road.

"TWEEK!" Craig cried as he tripped while trying to stand up. His eyes shut in pain as his knees began to sting from the impact.

Everyone present shut their eyes to avoid witnessing the imminent tragedy. They heard the sickening sound a car hitting a body and continue without stopping.

Craig quickly gathered the strength to reach his boyfriend who was laying on the other side of the road. He quickly assumed the force of the car must have thrown him in that direction. Tweek would be massively injured and in need of assistance pronto. Craig was shocked as Tweek began to sit up before he could reach him. He frantically began to search him for injuries.

"t-tweek stop, you might... you're injured... don't move. Oh God! What hurts! Are you bleeding! Did you break something! Tweek! I-i..."

"CRAIG! I-i'm fine. It doesn't really hurt. H-honest."

Craig was shocked, and he wasn't the only one. Every kid in the vicinity had run towards the couple when they head the car impact a body. The sound had been so loud, everyone expected to see a bloody mess on the pavement.

"Honey...h-how are you...the car! Did the car hit you?"

"I...think so. MY EYES WERE CLOSED BUT I-I FELT A HIT. OH GOD! I-I'M ALIVE!!!"

The crowd of kids were bewildered by the news. Wild theories began to spew from different sides of the crowd. Strong bones? Time Travelers? Aliens? Even Clyde had a theory, and not being one to keep his mouth shut, proceeded to shout out loud, "Dude you must be immortal or something!"

His best friend's words alerted Craig to the increasing crowd. Not wanting to cause Tweek's nerves to worsen, he quickly began to disperse the nosy onlookers with a middle finger and a few threats to vacate the premises.

As the crowd left the two, Tweek's anxiety subsided enough to process Clyde's theory. Was it possible? Tweek had faced off against death and emerged victorious. Could Tweek really be immortal?

He didn't fuss when Craig pulled him up and started heading back home. Craig clutched Tweek close to his side and proceeded to lead them home. They walked in silence completely disregarding the mangled corpse of Kenny McCormick, which had landed on the top branch of a tall tree. Unbeknownst to anyone, he held a familiar blue chullo hat in his hand.

#craig x tweek #craig tucker #sp craig #tweek tweak #sp tweek

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possessionisamyth · 1 year

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Unfortunately, my inspo didn’t strike fast enough where I could get a single bingo. But I’m glad I wrote so much for this ship and have another bingo card lined up to make more! I have several wips from these bingo card prompts that I can probably move and complete for my second one, but this event is very fun, and I’m glad to be a participant!

List of completed Logurt/Nightwolves fic under the read more so as not to clog dashboards!

9 to 5 Prompt: Sex Shop AU

Logan, an unapologetic gay man, is having a normal time running his sex shop until an unusual customer comes in one day.

A Late Night Visitor Prompt: Someone Calls In A Favor

Very awkward time catching your naked blue mom holding your current lover at gun point.

My Neck, My Back Prompt: Kurt’s Naughty Tail

Kurt's naughty tail gets him into a rather embarrassing situation.

Some Like It Hot Prompt: Flirting

After many failed attempts to officially woo his beau, Sheriff Logan knows tonight's the night he'll break his losing streak.

A Splinter Embedded For A Year Or A Trek Through Sharp Thistles Prompt: “What happened at the roadhouse, stays at the roadhouse.”

Kurt learns that the devil is both real and very much not his father. He makes a deal he may end up regretting.

Grief Is Just Love With Nowhere Else To Go Prompt: “ I have, as it were, my own sun and moon and stars, and a little world all to myself.“

As time continues to pass, Kurt discovers he's immortal. Logan is there to support him through it.

Sweet Thing Prompt: Terms of Endearment

While stuck indoors during a bad storm, Kurt finds a way to entertain himself. Unfortunately, Logan is the focus of his entertainment.

A Kiss For Luck Prompt: I Can’t Stop Kissing You

Logan learns the hard way that being nice has it’s consequences. (Bamfs within the fic are the cute blue chibis and not the weird little freaks)

Enter stage right. No, that’s the left. Prompt: Shakespeare In The Park

If all the world’s a stage, how come Nightcrawler seems to know his lines the best? A casual outing between friends turns into chaotic spectacle.

It’s 3AM Prompt: Touch-Starved

Kurt wakes up to see a bloodied out of mind Logan standing in his room. He takes his time bringing his dear friend back down to earth.

Shotgun Wedding Prompt: Surprise Wedding

A sequel to Some Like It Hot. Sheriff Logan and his special lady friend are faced with new challenges. It’s never good when family pays an unexpected visit.

And that’s all I got! Prost!

#kurt wagner #logan howlett #logurt #nightwolves #marvel rare pair bingo 2022

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sasaleleselfships · 1 year

Text

I HAVE NOT FINISHED SEASON THREE MY INTERNET DIED I AM WORKING ON IT

Courtney “Court” Deeba Soar

Court serves as what the Secret Society initially branded as, ‘The First One’-… The first immortal, that is. Born in the late winter of the year fourteen eighty-five, Courtney Hatchett grew up in a world that had no time for magic, or any faith outside of most Christian dialects. She was brought up, initially, as a church lady raised by a nun and the pastor before eventually growing up and realizing how little she cared for the role she was being indoctrinated into participating in. Maybe it was the scars she was born with or maybe even the fire she felt in her veins when she looked at the men with swords and stones, but she would grow to have none of it.

Running away was only the first part of her discovery of self, and nearly dying at sea after stowing away on her brother’s ship had been the second. Somehow, in the vanity of it all, the waves crashing against the shore and the blood rushing in her ears, she survived. This would’ve be fortunate had it not been the year it was, from here on out she to be was painted as a witch, and the people she crossed paths with were more than ready to villainies her for the mantle of it. There’s a saying, that you ultimately become what the world expects of you. Maybe that’s what saved her, feeling the fire coax her body thought the flames did nothing to subdue her as she was only released from the ropes holding her to the pyre. Of course that’s when it would happen, the recollection, and the reclamation.

Devoted now only to the ‘Great Dying’ or who is known known as Anubis, Court came the be a fully realized priestess of the ‘half-life’ and the self appointed Mother of Loss. She traveled for years before ending up in modern times as a writer and as a botanist with several degrees, something she wouldn’t have dreamed up until the recent years. She wanders for years doing things relatively forgettable, before landing a position as house mother at the Anubis House.

It was there did Court begin the see the signs she had been issues to expect for years now; What was to be the chosen one.

Trivia;

Court’s eyes are considered special for her title, and is often regarded as the ‘enchanter’ in older texts-… yes, older texts. With this in mind she still has to fully master the abilities her deity grants, due to this it is uncommon to see her without her shades on.

While a practicing witch, it is uncommon to see the house mother working with covens as she prefers the solitude her own profession offers her. Court classifies loosely as an eclectic divination witch.

During her years alive, Court bore three children each with subtle abilities of their own. The most notable being Lowel, her eldest son with the ability to predict future events at random.

Court was (involuntarily)made the center of a cult regarding the old gods at some point, being forced to use her abilities as favor under the assumption the ancient ones would bring her to salvation. This did not end well for anyone.

Yes, she is married to Victor(eventually).

#sorry this is so sloppily written #house of anubis #alternate reality #court soar #the first one #original female character #oc #my writing #hoa

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inhuman-obey-me · 2 years

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I've been thinking a lot about the mortality of the mc lately. The brothers, to the best of our knowledge, have never witnessed much of aging and subsequent death. And other than Lilith, not much has been said for their experience with losing someone to death.

Mc is human, they mention several times in the game that humans have short lives. But it's never been brought up in a way that the characters seem to understand the weight of that fact. For MCs that worry about how they would process that grief, or for how the demons may come to terms with the inevitable, I wish the game gave more clarity or closure on it.

That's an interesting topic! On one hand, it's true that the demon brothers probably haven't been as close to any mortal as they are with MC, so (assuming MC doesn't become immortal somehow like Solomon) it'd make a lot of sense that dealing with the grief of losing someone close to them to very human deaths like old age or sickness would be a somewhat new experience for them. Presumably, all of them are familiar enough with it as a concept, but of course, just knowing about it or hearing about it happening to humans they've been more loosely acquainted with in the past doesn't necessarily prepare them for dealing with it as a reality when it comes to someone precious to them.

However, the brothers are actually shown at one major point to be well aware of the weight of death and lifespans -- and not just for MC, but also for each other. When they suspect that Beelzebub may have angered the reaper, they all take a trip to the reaper's cave to check on his candle. There, they find that Beel's life candle, as expected, is burning down much faster than any other candle. Lucifer decides to add some of his own candle to Beel's, to which Beel protests that doing so will shorten his brother's own life, and then each of the other brothers attempts to help him too by adding a bit of their candles' wax to his, showing in turn that they do all understand the danger of his candle running out and what death means. But, just them adding from their candles is not enough to stop Beel's from burning down, and MC decides to pick up their own candle to contribute too. At this point, we are shown that the brothers are aware of the weight of MC's short lifespan -- Belphie speaks up against it immediately, saying that just because they all did it doesn't mean that MC should too, and Beel is alarmed and tells them to stop.

Lucifer and Satan have also both touched on MC's eventual death at times in a way that shows more of an understanding of MC's short life. The former in particular has multiple times had lines emphasizing that he will stay with MC "until the end of their days" or that he "can't help but wish for an eternity with them", etc. In the Devilgram for Our Story's Ending, Satan is similarly shown grappling with the thought of having to part with MC one day and crying at the thought of it.

When MC does die, all of the brothers will undoubtedly feel deep grief over it. We actually see some of that grief briefly after Belphie kills MC in season 1, and it's noted again when Belphie mentions in the anime that the brothers have been acting kind of weird towards him over it even well after MC has left the Devildom, so when the time comes that MC does actually die, each demon will come to terms with that and process their grief in different ways, just as humans do. But just as their lifespans mean that old age isn't often a factor, it also means that these are beings who have lived through a lot -- like participating in a civil war against their fellow angels and presumably losing a lot of those close to them in the process, which includes, as you mentioned, their dear younger sister Lilith. So while they may not be very familiar with human mortality in particular, they are not strangers to death, either.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me shall we date #obey me swd #omswd #obey me demon brothers #obey me mc #obey me analysis #ask and ye shall be answered

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starshipsofstarlord · 3 years

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Can you do a reader x Damon salvatore where everyone thinks the only reason they are together is because damon sired her, but she gets angry and tells them the truth that she always had feelings and didn't say anything because she knew he liked Elena...

Sire Or No Sire

damon Salvatore x reader / masterlist

summary; it is easily perceived why you look at Damon the way that you do, though most people think that is an affect of him having turned you to save your life. And that is the last straw of you realising that they know nothing / warnings; mentions of Damon x Elena, mentions of Damon x Caroline, jealousy, angst, mentions of the sire bond, mentions of sex, swearing, angst, breakup, toxic friendships

Their voices, their aloud opinions, brought you nothing but pain, the tragedy seeping into your vervain allergic veins, as you shook your head. It was as though they thought that you were unable to hear their chatter, but you knew that they would be wrong with assuming so. You were no longer weak, with human senses flooding your every whim, you were a vampire.

An immortal. It felt strange to think that you would no longer age in physical layers, instead, your mind would be the only participant within your body to forever grow with the various memories that you would be collecting through the next decades. Though, you weren’t the only one, Caroline was in that room, reprimanding Damon for saving your life.

You could hear her words loud and clear, as the Salvatores and the rest of your friends stood by, some agreeing with her, such as Elena, whereas others remained silence, such as the vampire that had turned you in the first place. The viscous tone hissing out of the blonde’s mouth scathed you emotionally, and ended with you thudding back against Damon’s bedroom door, before entering the room, and ensuring that it was locked behind you.

“The two of you are only together because of the sire bond. You turning her, had become nothing more an excuse to fuck and put a label on it!”

Did she think that she was defending you? Because to you, it didn’t sound like it, but that was Caroline for you, always insistent of her opinion, though, you two did get along. The pair of you understood what it was like to be on the sidelines, whilst perfect Elena played the victim every time, and got any guy she wanted, even her friends were swayed with the young gentlemen first.

Elena Gilbert was the epiphany of perfect; she was the damsel in distress, giving the opportunity to whomever she sought after to come and save her. You weren’t her, dissimilar to the whiny brunette, you were prepared to fight the monsters that threatened your life, human or not. And that included Damon long ago, before you saw how sweet the over century old man was.

One thing that you had never done though, was date someone and bluntly flirt with their brother. That was crossing a line, you appreciated honesty, especially in this lifestyle, and Caroline had declared her thoughts. She spoke truthfully, believing her own words, though they were far from facts.

They needed to know that you weren’t invested in a relationship with Damon because of him turning you, it was something you had never asked for, nor dreamed about. But it had happened, and whilst it brought the pair of you closer, there was no maker bond, instead, there had already been a flirtatious brewing between the pair of you whilst you were still human.

You becoming like him gave the two of you more time together as he trained you to breathe idly in and calm your bloodlust. Or how in the middle of the night, he would come by your house, and awake you from a terror, afterwards taking you for an innocent stroll through the woods.

Without him, you’d have been on a path to nowhere, lost and unable to find a route to continue on, wading through the life after death with no direction, nor set course to keep you in line. Surely, you’d have murdered many a man or woman, if you were dependant with surviving with her bewitched curse of immortality, digging into their inviting throats with your dagger canine teeth, that pulsed to be fed.

“That’s a load of- you know what, think what you want to think, you have a history of jealousy filled, toxic and werewolf involved relationships, you are not exactly the best person here to judge me on my healthy and loving romantic partnership with y/n!”

Damon half yelled at the vampiric blonde, however, another tone was fast to respond to his defensive outburst and cause the both of you a disgruntled pair of expressions. “She was turned by you brother, that runs the risk of a sore bond appropriating her feelings.”

Oh, noble Stefan. He had caused you to snap, thrusting the door open to his brother’s bedroom open, making its hinges weaken, as you whisked through the halls in seconds, joining the compendium of mystic falls in the living space, all eyes turned to you, well aware that you had heard all their smart mouthed and toxic opinions.

The sire bond wasn’t something that was too uncommon, however it affected nothing in your life. It was just for them to pick at something that was good, they could never allow something that was actually decent to revel in existence. They had to be the ones with the perfect prissy lives, not others.

“Shut your mouth, ripper!” Yes, you pulled at that string of his life, dangling it degradingly before his eyes, watching as his eyes that were focalised into you turned sour. “I love your brother, and just because you loved the love triangles the pair of you would be involved in with bitchy Gilbert over there, or bloody Katherine, does not make any other people that he or you are with invalid!”

Elena stepped forwards, her doe eyes boring with contained anger towards you. Though instead of speaking to you, her words were directed at her ex, and she wanted to gouge your reaction. “You promised me that we were going to last forever, are you going to do the same to her?”

“No, because I don’t need a time span to appreciate her presence in. I don’t need to tell her lies nor make selfish promises, because with her I am a better man.” Damon sneered at her, coming to stand beside you, protectively wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

“It’s the sire bond.” Elena stated furiously, hating the fact that she was not getting her way. In turn, you laughed, shaking your head at her incessant denial of allowing Damon to move on.

“Shut the fuck up, if you had maybe given a shit about me in the past, you’d have realised that I would stare at you enviously when you were at his side. But maybe you knew, and you just wanted to brag, but I can prove that there is no bond other than the one we already built together.”

“Yeah, and how are you going to do that?” She pestered, and with a sorrowful glance directed at Damon, you dropped your head, anything but proud with what you were about to do. Swiftly you turned, watching as Damon’s eyes widened.

“I’m going to leave.” Whence you began to walk, a hand grasped your wrist, keeping your feet locked where they were. Caroline’s voice broke through the air, her eyes were filled with regret, from all the things that she had said, and all the opinions that she had formed.

“You’re not serious! You’re gonna break up with him because of us?” Stiffly you nodded, watching as Damon felt a taken back. He gaped his mouth open, in shock.

“I’d do anything for my friends, despite the circumstances not being reciprocated. I’m not even allowed to be in a relationship with the man that I love because you are all endorsed with the idea that it’s some stupid bond. Yes, we have a bond, but it’s not a sire one.”

“Baby, don’t.” Damon practically begged, watching as you yourself were torn and conflicted in regards to the situation. A sad smile monitored your face, as you slipped out of his grasp.

“We might have to wait another lifetime until we’re allowed to be together without resorts of undermining and people that don’t really care about us. Some people want there to be a whole ass agility course to separate us, but maybe if we wait, we can prove how wrong they are, if they’re not dead by then.”

Caroline felt terrible, once again Stefan had taken his brother’s life from him, and Elena, well she felt accomplished. She went to reach for Damon’s arm, but he threw her consoling manner and herself across the room, heading straight after you, with a bottle of bourbon.

If you could leave them to prove a point, so could be; he loved you. That was enough, especially for him, he could leave those doses of poison behind, if he would grant himself permission without asking, a peaceful life with you.

#damon salvatore angst #damon salvatore fanfiction #damon salvatore x reader #damon x reader oneshot #vampire diaries damon x reader #Damon x reader angst #damon x reader imagine #damon oneshot #tvd damon x reader #damon imagine #damon salvatore x y/n #damon salvatore one shot #tvd angst #tvd one shot #tvd request

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acetrainermags · 2 years

Text

Pokémon Adventures Chapter 10-14: The One With The Scene

Chapter 10 finds Red in Vermillion City, where he encounters the Pokémon Fan Club. They’re… an eccentric bunch, to say the least. The club chairman thrusts a copy of their newsletter into Red’s hands, and we’re given this cursed panel:

Red’s expression really says it all: I don’t think I actually want any more context for these headlines.

Upon finding out that Pokémon have been going missing in town, Red decides to investigate. He sneaks aboard the ship docked in the city, where he meets Lt. Surge.

(Side note, I'm absolutely losing my mind of the henchmen's faces in the background)

Surge is a fascinating character, even outside the manga. His name and appearance make it clear that he was a soldier at some point in his past, though as far as I can remember, this isn’t directly mentioned in Pokémon Adventures. In the main series games, he’s explicitly stated to be a U.S. soldier (his title was literally “The Lightning American” until recently), and he fought in a war.

I know that there’s a popular fan theory around the games that there was major war somewhat recently, but I’m not sure it applies here. In any case, I wish we got a little more clarity on Surge’s character in the manga, especially given his relevance in later volumes. Or maybe the man just likes the camo aesthetic. Who am I to judge?

Surge deals with Red by knocking him out with electricity and tossing him into the ocean… or so he thinks. Sensing Red’s distress, Poliwhirl evolves into Poliwrath and brings Red back to the surface. Poliwrath defeats Surge and his Electabuzz with a Seismic Toss, and the stolen Pokémon are safely returned to their owners.

Next thing we know, Red is participating in a Pokémon bike race to try and earn some quick cash. He tries to take a shortcut through a forest, which works at first, until…

“Blorg”

Also, I noticed that money bags have the symbol for Yen on them. Pokémon has its own currency, simply known as Pokémon Dollars, but I’m guessing that wasn’t commonly used when this was written. I’ll have to watch in later volumes to see if it gets referenced again.

Following the bike race, Red arrives in Lavender Town, everyone’s favorite haunted village. There’s a lot to talk about in these last few chapters of this volume.

The people of Lavender Town aren’t very friendly, but Red eventually meets Mr. Fuji, who is paying his respects to his dearly departed Pokémon, Doduo.

A couple things here: I’ve always been unnerved by the idea that Pokémon can actually die. Logically it makes sense – they’re biological creatures after all, they’re not immortal. But there’s just something unsettling about it that I can’t quite put my finger on. But this comes up in the manga rather often, so I’m sure I’ll write about it more in the future.

On another note, it’s fascinating to look back and see how willing the “old” Pokémon media was to reference real-world religions, like the cross that marks Doduo’s grave here. It reminds me of Pokémon anime episode where Ash and company were lost at sea, and Brock referenced the Biblical story of Noah. As a child, I remember watching that episode with an acquaintance and he asked, “Is this show Christian?” I wasn’t sure how to answer.

Anyway, Red finds out that Blue was in Lavender Town recently. Blue went to go investigate the rumors of ghosts in the Pokémon Tower, and he hasn’t been seen since. In what is either a concern for Blue’s safety or a need to prove he’s just as brave as his rival (or probably both), Red runs to the Pokémon Tower to make his own investigation.

The Pokémon Tower is full of nightmare fuel, in case anyone was wondering. I don’t consider myself squeamish, but, uh… no thanks.

Red finally finds Blue and together, they face down the person responsible for the ghosts, none other than Koga of Team Rocket. Shout out to Red for not being intimidated in the slightest.

This is also the first time we see Blue and Koga interact. Keep that in mind for the future.

And it would be impossible to write about the first volume of Pokémon Adventures without discussing The Scene. You know which one I’m talking about.

And objectively, it’s a GOOD SCENE. We get to see Blue’s ingenuity and how he’s able to outsmart one of Team Rocket’s elite, and Red gains some newfound respect for his rival’s ability. Plus, it gives Koga a reason to desire revenge later on. It’s great writing!

But this scene has been ruined by the internet, as the internet often does. It gets paired with clickbait headlines like “The DARK Pokémon Series!!” which is… disappointing to say the least. Actually, I can’t stand it. It’s exhausting to keep seeing online edgelords try and make themselves sound cool because they read the “mature Pokémon” manga.

Like, these are from well-known gaming/geek websites. You can do better than this, Polygon. I know it.

Pokémon Adventures has so much more to offer than just extra violence. I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: What makes this manga so good is its commitment to telling good stories.

Pokémon as a whole is about wonder and exploration – it presents us with a colorful, unfamiliar world and invites us to discover its secrets. Pokémon Adventures doesn’t appeal to an older audience because it’s “dark and gritty,” but because it takes that childlike wonder and expands on it with endearing characters and engaging plotlines. Boiling it down to just “edgy Pokémon” is a disservice to the manga itself and the fans who enjoy it.

We've seen so many amazing things just in the first volume! That's what makes Pokémon Adventures so good - the adventure.

Whew. That was a lot.

Vol. 1 ends with Red saying farewell to Mr. Fuji and continuing on his journey. I’ll be writing a wrap-up post about this volume soon, then it’s on to vol. 2!

#forgive me for talking about the Arbok Scene #it had to be done #Pokemon #Pokemon Adventures #Pokespe #Pokemon Special #Pokemon Manga #Pokespe Red #Pokespe Blue #Blue Oak #trainer red #trainer blue #Pokespe RGB Arc #Pokespe vol 1 #Dexholders

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itsclydebitches · 2 years

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With Ruby and abandoment problems (**non canon, mostly theoretical talk**): it's fairly common for children to develop unhealthy attachment issues when they're cared for by mostly an older sibling, combined with loss of a parent. Like Ruby being overly attached to her weapon, not being willing to let Yang be on her own during the first volume, and a desire to follow on the footsteps of the rest of the family (to become a Huntress - help others just like her parents taught her).

Yup! Even talking about what is in the canon (meaning, what we see on screen even if it's not really acknowledged by the story proper), we've got a lot of implications attached to Ruby's major character beats:

A dead mother who she remembers enough to picture, but didn't fully understand the loss when it happened (according to Yang)

Not yet given any closer about how she died or, at this point, even if she died

May have received a lot of parental-like support from her sister while their father recovered from his wife's "death"

That bond led to moments like trusting Yang to take her out into the woods — to find her absent mother — and nearly getting killed by grimm

Is let into a combat school two years early and is framed as so socially awkward she'd rather look at everyone's weapons than make friends

By the next day she's made leader of her team, shouldering responsibility for three older fighters, including her sister

Witnessed Yang (supposedly) break a peer's leg after he'd bowed out of the fight

Arrived just in time to find the dismembered body of her friend Penny

Participated in a horrific fight they ultimately lost, leading to the destruction of their school

Witnessed her friend Pyrrha turn into a cloud of gold dust as she's murdered

Wakes up an undetermined amount of time later, realizes Beacon is lost realizes the rest of her team is gone, realizes Yang lacks an arm, is told she has a super special magical eye power

Runs off to hunt down the woman who succeeded in killing a (frankly) more skilled fighter, leaving her PTSD-riddled sister in the process, something she'll later break down in tears over

Is unable to protect herself from a kidnapping attempt and her uncle nearly dies from poison while saving her

Learns that said beloved uncle has kept his semblance hidden her whole life and also, FYI, there's an evil grimm queen trying to kill everyone

Happily gives herself over to Ozpin's leadership until she decides to steal his entire backstory, learning Salem is immortal in the process

Proceeds to nearly die while facing the Apathy

Unanimously rejects all help from adults up until now, only accepting future help if she remains in control

Starts a needless fight with a military official to get to Atlas

Staunchly ignores everything war related while spending time there

Insists she's nothing like Ozpin despite repeating his exact choices

Flinches from the idea that her team is like the Ace Ops in embracing some level of professionalism

(Ruby is simmering in denial this arc)

Turns on her allies when no good option is available

Positions herself to the whole world as the leader they should believe in and look up to

Proceeds to hide out for the rest of the fight

Hits on a last minute attempt at escape that very much reflects the idea she originally condemned (use the Staff, not everyone gets to make it out, etc.)

Watches her sister die

Dies herself

Ruby is a mess. In the sense that this girl has been through trauma after trauma that yeah, could (arguably should) result in someone with abandonment issues and a warped ability to handle making mistakes because she's The Leader and would likely think she isn't allowed. The last couple of years I've been watching this character and wincing at how far she's spiraling. Ruby is starting needless fights. She's anxious over her team wanting time to themselves and outright panicking over the idea of separating for a short-term mission. She (and everyone else) treats a simple criticism as a slap to the face and leans heavily into any reassurance that she's actually doing things perfectly. She's making grand statements about saving everyone, as The Leader must, but then hiding away because she doesn't actually know how to solve any of these problems. Ruby will confidently condemn Ironwood, confidently take out the Ace Ops, confidently tell the world to turn to her... and then sit with tea, commenting on how sad it is that everyone else is dying because when push comes to shove, when she actually has to fix things after making those promises and condemning other options, she freezes.

And damn if that's not a really compelling story. Ruby is fascinating in her current status as a teenager who, to be blunt, is trying to run a war she's not in ANY way ready for. It's interesting to see a story that (quite unintentionally) goes, "What happens if you put a thoroughly traumatized 17yo in charge of saving the world? Things go very badly." The only problem is that RT doesn't realize that's the premise they've given us, so 99% of Ruby's compelling characterization is ignored. Her social anxiety was quickly dropped. No time is given to her working through Pyrrha and Penny's death, not even when Penny was resurrected. Ruby's relationship with Summer was ignored for most of the series until the 'She's a grimm' reveal was suddenly dropped into the mix. And worse, the numerous mistakes Ruby has made lately — made out of grief and panic and optimistic stubbornness — aren't acknowledged as mistakes. She's not allowed to grow from them. Ruby continues to simmer in all the unacknowledged consequences of these experiences while the rest of the cast informs her (informs the audience) that there's nothing to unpack here. Because Ruby is different from Ozpin. May is wrong to have challenged her. Ren is wrong about the entirety of the group's choices lately. Blake is in awe of Ruby despite barely speaking with her for five Volumes. Yang doesn't even remember she fought with her sister, that's how unimportant the idea of Ruby making a mistake is — now she's worried about Blake. Ruby has a WEALTH of experiences to draw from in order to develop her character, but at ever turn the story insists that no development is needed because look, she's always right. There's no trauma, denial, abandonment, unhealthy attachment, or fear at work that might push Ruby towards questionable choices. There's nothing to explore here.

Which is why so many fans are worried about Volume 9 because the Volume 8 finale dumped a ton of new experiences on top of what we still have going all the way back to Summer's "death." Ruby watched Yang die. She basically died herself. Two Relics are lost. Jaune killed Penny. They'll eventually find out that all the evacuees are lost in a grimm-infested desert. If we can trust our visuals, they failed to evacuate everyone else, including Maria and Pietro. I want Ruby to break. Not out of some desire for angst porn or whatever, but because she's been through so much that the show has continually glossed over, reiterating that these experiences have had no impact on Ruby's ability to make perfect leadership decisions, regarding a war she only just learned about, no less. If RWBY were still a silly action show I wouldn't care at all about the glossing (that's normal in a ton of other stories), but post-Volume 3 RWBY has gone hard on that impact for other characters. It's going to be more than a little jarring if Ruby just picks herself up after everything and the show continues to insist that she's just fine, making fine decisions, everything is fine here. In the show that now gives whole arcs to trauma recovery for some characters and uses trauma as the catch-all reason for why others made their horrific decisions for, why would we ever think that Ruby might be negatively influenced by everything she's gone through since stepping on screen? I'd love to see how socially anxious, lost-at-least-three-loved-ones-to-murder Ruby intersects with world leader Ruby, both in terms of how she overcomes her previous limitations and the (acknowledged) mistakes she makes as an inevitable byproduct of growing up.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

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aminiatureworld · 3 years

Text

Etched Words

Characters: Xiao x gn!reader

Word Count: 2,920

Warnings: None

Premise: He'd long given up the idea. No one should be stuck with him, and fate would never be so kind to do so, no so cruel to punish someone in such a way. And yet you'd appeared, and now he didn't know what to do.

In which the reader’s familiarity is written on Xiao’s sleeve.

Author’s Note: Originally wasn’t going to write this tonight since I was afraid of how long this was going to be but oops. I love soulmate AUs, they’re probably the fic that I make up in my head the most, there’s just so much potential for it.

Xiao I’m sorry I’ve neglected a oneshot for you for so long, hope you forgive me and hope everyone who reads this enjoys!

Xiao would never admit the real reason that he was determined to wear a sleeve around one of his arms. Part of it was tradition, he’d worn it since Rex Lapis had first commanded him to fight, and even if those days of war were long forgotten to most the memories still burned bright to him. He couldn’t bring himself to completely lose that legacy, even in terms of what he wore. To those who knew him that was assumed to be the only reason; but every once in a while, when he was perhaps feeling weak enough, Xiao would lift up his sleeve to read the words snaking across his forearm.

What a lovely little bird, don’t you think? Those words haunted him, tearing apart his thoughts for certain lengths of time, filling his head with a sense of resentment and melancholy.

The last thing Xiao wanted was a soulmate. Soulmates were something destined for humans, those who could live life ducking most of its horrors, those who could feel passionately and indulge in the feeling of love without sorrow or guilt. Most important of all humans would never have to experience the feeling of losing one’s soulmate forever, and living on for millennia afterword with only memory and regret to keep them company. It was a curse to give an immortal being a soulmate, especially one such as Xiao, who battled every day with the chains of his past, with the acts he’d committed and the darkness he’d almost fallen into. No one, mortal or immortal, deserved a soulmate such as he, and Xiao for his part thought he didn’t deserve such a curse. Let him deal with his affairs alone, he didn’t want a punishment like this.

Besides, Xiao had long ago come to the conclusion that he was never to meet his soulmate. So long had it been since those words had been etched onto his skin that he was sure they must’ve been the mutterings of someone who’d long passed him by, or someone who’d never managed to say those words at all. After all, being destined to fall in love with someone wasn’t a guarantee that one would live that long, and fate could be so easily twisted and bent. Yes, his soulmate must be long dead. Perhaps they’d been a worshipper of long ago, or perhaps they’d been nothing at all. Perhaps they’d died in one of the wars in which the yaksha had participated in and perhaps they’d lived to a ripe old age, never once uttering that phrase which haunted him. Either way they were dead and gone, and Xiao didn’t want the reminder of that. He certainly didn’t want others to know, to look down upon him with pity.

So he kept it hidden, and though the words sometimes haunted him at least he had the certainty that they would never be spoken in his presence. Even if a small part of him doubted, and hoped for a miracle.

------

There was a new guest and the Wangshu Inn, and one that was most likely going to be staying for a while. Or so Xiao heard that morning as Verr Goldet checked on the breakfast and made the rounds. He liked Goldet, respected her for her ethic and her wry sense of humor, even if he loathed it being turned upon himself. She was intensely practical in nature, and always had a sense of what was important and what was ultimately not. So the mention of a new and mysterious guest stuck with him the whole day, and though he spent most of his time away from the Inn, he couldn’t help but turn Goldet’s words over in his mind, wondering if they would truly turn out as important as she made them seem.

It had been a busy day for Xiao, as Liyue was still reeling from its attempted destruction and negotiations between the adepti and the Qixing were long and arduous. The meal afterwards was even more so and if it weren’t for the traveler Xiao most likely wouldn’t’ve attended in the first place. By the time he made his way back to his usual spot on the balcony of the Inn he was tired and irritable, so much so that he only noticed he wasn’t invisible when you spoke after him, and after that he was too far gone to really register that fact.

“What a lovely little bird, don’t you think?” You were leaning on the railing, staring up at a nightingale, who was chirping away. “They’re so cute aren’t they, and they have such a classical sort of call. It’s really so peaceful.” You sighed for a moment, a sigh of contentment, and once more focused your gaze back to Xiao, smiling a slightly embarrassed smile. “I’m sorry the familiarity, I don’t believe I’ve met you yet.”

It was more of a question than a statement, but at that point Xiao could barely process what you’d just said, and the question itself was lost in the swirl of emotions he felt. Disbelief and shock were the primary emotions, for who could imagine you were real and not a figment of his imagination, but there were other emotions too; longing, frustration, fear, guilt. They all mingled together, reminding him of why he’d both longed for a moment like this and wished for it never to come. And now it was here, here and all too much. Letting out a gasp of breath that meant nothing at all Xiao vanished into the night, cheeks burning with shame as a part of him cried out that he’d just made the greatest mistake of his life.

At first Xiao had planned to avoid the Inn completely, to wait until he knew you were gone and then try to get back the semblance of normalcy that had been completely destroyed. He quickly realized however that it would be impossible to do so. The Inn had become a sort of refuge for Xiao, a familiar place where he could listen to the soft sounds of humanity in the evening and of the wilderness at night, where he didn’t have to worry about sudden changes in weather or running into treasure hoarders or monsters. Besides he’d underestimated the power of meeting one’s soulmate. And by the next morning Xiao was sure that he was going to finally drive himself to insanity if he didn’t go back and see you.

Not that you were there when he returned, for the sun was up and you’d already packed your things, going off to do whatever you did in the daytime. The hours stretched on and on for Xiao, but he attempted to busy himself by walking along the familiar valleys of Jueyun Karst, the familiar atmosphere grounding him as best it could while his mind spun this way and that.

You were real. You were alive and you had spoken to him and you were real. If the feeling of wanting to know you had suddenly appeared then so too had the feeling of overwhelming loneliness, a sudden realization of how dreary, how heavy all the years of his life had been. Xiao had acquaintances, allies, even friends, but those bonds had faded long ago, made weak by death or war or even the long peace that existed now. Even if he was grateful for the peace, he knew that it had made him lonely; all the adepti stayed within their domains and Rex Lapis had disappeared into the city, a place Xiao could never imagine dwelling in. There were humans of course, pilgrims, thieves, the curious mixing with the pious, mixing with the lost. But they were separate from him, and he had long ago developed a total disinterest in regards to most of their requests. He protected Liyue, not the interests of its citizens. And even if he had wished to mingle with them he knew that it would most likely bring them only despair, as curses clung to him and no matter how much he tried he’d never be able to exorcise them.

And yet you were human. Only now the thought truly cemented itself in Xiao’s mind. You were human, of course you were human. Fate would never be so kind as to simply drop you at his doorsteps, smiling and willing to talk and immortal on top of it; no you’d been born mortal, and in that fact Xiao saw only ruin. He might very well destroy you, for though he’d not truly spent enough time with mortals to see the long term effects of his karma might be, he could hardly imagine it to be pleasant. Even if he didn’t kill you time would. And then where would he be? If he already felt somewhat attached to you now, how would he feel then, after you’d truly gotten to know one another? The idea terrified Xiao so completely that for a moment he felt as if he was drowning. You were human. Why were you human.

Despite this Xiao couldn’t help but feel some sense of relief, even happiness, when you appeared on the balcony again that evening. You leaned against the railing for a bit, but eventually grew tired and went inside. Xiao’s disappointment however was negated when you came back, a chair in one hand a book in the other. Sitting down you opened the book on your lap, but instead of reading it you stared out into the night. And, eventually, you began to speak.

“The innkeeper tells me that what happened yesterday was normal. I’m so sorry I scared you in that way, or perhaps that I approached you so casually. I hadn’t realized you were an adeptus you see, although perhaps that was a stupid mistake on my part, as you hardly seem like a normal person. I’m sorry either way. She also told me that you were often up here in the evenings, so hopefully I’m not talking to myself.” You let out an embarrassed sort of laugh, Xiao loved nothing so much as your laugh in that moment, before continuing. “I don’t know if I’m talking to myself right now, but I do have something for you. I found it on my way here, and though it’s probably common enough here I thought it was pretty. I hope you like it.”

The next day nothing had moved from where you’d left it, and to your disappointment the Qingxin had gotten utterly soaked in the morning rain.

Xiao knew he should say something, knew that it was incredibly rude to leave your gift untouched. But he couldn’t help it, couldn’t break down the walls that he’d built up for so long. Not that he could completely stay away either. It’d become a routine of some sorts, to come back to the Inn each night and listen to you speak. You were always there, even when the heat became near unbearable or when you came back so late that it was closer to sunrise than sunset. Even then you still spared at least ten minutes to talk into the dark. Xiao wasn’t sure why you were doing so, although he somewhat suspected Goldet in the matter, nor could he tell why you were waiting for him, being hardly versed in the idea of soulmates and unsure whether you’d realized it or not. Regardless of how or why, the tradition still continued, Xiao silent, you filling said silence with words or laughter or sighs. And at least once a week there was a gift. Though Xiao never touched it and eventually Goldet would come and collect it or it would scatter in the wind.

“I have an idea!” Your voice was filled with excitement today and, as if to match it, you’d abandoned the chair, instead bouncing up and down slightly on your toes as you stared out into the sky. “I’m going to do something for you tomorrow, okay. So be sure not to come back until after sunset, or it won’t be a surprise.”

At first Xiao had been completely set on ruining your surprise, after all he disliked being thrown off guard, and you were hardly close enough an acquaintance for him to consider making an exception. The knowledge that the latter half of his reasoning was completely his fault however managed to keep him away, though he stubbornly refused to come back until a half an hour after sunset.

The balcony was the same as ever, and at first Xiao wondered if you’d hadn’t given up on whatever you’d been scheming. However he quickly became aware of what the surprise was when you came into view, a slightly bashful smile on your face and a plate of Almond Tofu in your lap instead of the usual book or weapon when it needed cleaning.

For once Xiao didn’t think about how Goldet had definitely tipped you off, or how he shouldn’t talk to you, or how you were so oddly persistent. He felt his invisibility fall off of him, as if he’d shed a coat or a second skin. Footsteps causing the wood to creak slightly he watched as you jumped for a moment, having obviously been daydreaming, before smiling widely.

“I’ve heard you like Almond Tofu!” You smiled, reaching the plate out towards the yaksha. Silently taking it Xiao stepped back a bit. You did nothing in response to the gesture, merely sitting there, hands folded in your lap and face full of anticipation.

The dish tasted wonderful, perfectly sweet and melty it seemed somewhat distinct, although why Xiao couldn’t really tell. Eating piece after piece he savored the flavor, for it’d really been quite a long time since he’d been offered Almond Tofu, and whether it was your cooking style or the fact you were the chef he couldn’t help but feel as this batch had come out better than the rest. Xiao couldn’t help himself. Looking up at you he let out a soft smile.

“I’m glad you like it!” You exclaimed, face bright with triumph. Standing up you walked slowly over towards Xiao, hand once more reaching out to take the plate. Instead of letting you take it however Xiao walked into the Inn and placed it on the nearest table. Coming out onto the balcony once more he crossed his arms.

“If you stay close to me you’ll die.”

This, instead of having any sort of negative effect on you, instead caused your eyes to widen, and your smile with it. Bouncing up and down once more you giggled slightly.

“So it really is you.” And, before Xiao could say anything, you turned around, hiking up the sleeve on one of your shoulders. Xiao didn’t need to lean in to make out the spidery lettering that trailed down towards your forearm. He wasn’t surprised in what he saw. If you stay close to me you’ll die.

Honestly, what does one do in a situation like this? Xiao couldn’t tell, having so long abandoned hope of something like this happening. Yet even while his mind reeled once more from the confirmation his legs didn’t. Stepping softly towards you, slightly weary, he reached out and traced the letters on the back of your shoulder, as if trying to convince himself it was real.

“May I see yours?” You said, turning around suddenly. Although your question was direct your tone had somewhat softened, and a slight blush dusted you cheeks. Nodding Xiao lifted up his sleeve, and your fingers ghosted over your words in turn. “I never knew what to think of those words, once I become aware of them,” you smiled softly, “but I’m so glad now I’ve found out.”

“They’re true.” Xiao spoke firmly, fear at the forefront of his thoughts. “You don’t know my past, my burden. Fate hasn’t been kind to you, and I might very well kill you.”

“I’ve read about your supposed curses.” You replied, leaning towards him slightly despite his words. “But you said ‘might very well’ not definitely. And besides,” you shrugged, “I want to trust in fate.”

“Why?” Xiao let out a bitter laugh. “Fate is hardly kind.”

“I don’t know, it brought me to my soulmate after all. If fate were so cruel, surely it would never do such a thing.”

“You’re acting reckless.” The words might’ve been a rebuke but Xiao couldn’t find it in him to be harsh. How much he’d underestimated what it’d be like to meet one’s soulmate. Well, he’d never do so again.

“Perhaps, but I’d like to stay and get to know you better regardless.” You stared at him, eyes both somehow piercing and soft. They were beautiful, your eyes, Xiao could drown in them and hardly notice.

“Very well.” Perhaps not the kindness of concessions, but nevertheless you smiled. Pausing for a moment you reached up and wrapped your arms around him. After a moment Xiao returned the gesture, too caught up in your gentle grasp to want to resist.

Was fate kind? Xiao couldn’t tell. He’d been so sure he’d never find a partner, never some he could call his home, his anchor. And yet it had come to pass, and though Xiao was afraid, so desperately afraid, he also was hopeful. How could he not be? The last thing Xiao had wanted was a soulmate, but now that he’d met you, he never wanted to be without you again.

Both your phrases faded over time. But your love never did.

#first time trying beta posting #hopefully it goes well #this is so self-indulgent #xiao #xiao x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #oneshot #my writing

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ladykissingfish · 3 years

Text

Under the Mistletoe with the Akatsuki // Part Eight // Kakuzu

What is with this group and wasting their free time doing such inane and pointless things? The old guy can think of at least 50 other activities (the majority of which involve making money) that everyone could be doing, rather than lining up to kiss each under a little green plant. When it’s his turn in the spotlight, he tries as hard as he can to back out of his “obligation” ... but Pein (and Kakuzu’s own persistent partner, Hidan) insist that Kakuzu participate. Kakuzu sighs and nods; he’s smart enough to know when he’s been defeated. However, Pein should know that Kakuzu will be adding a little extra money to his paycheck that week, for “hazard pay”.

Pein

Nagato was more interested in Kakuzu joining his group than any of the others. Immortality, money-sense, expertise and wisdom ... this is the man who survived the wars of the past. This is the man who survived the mighty Hashirama, God of all shinobi. Still, Nagato is no fool; he realizes that Kakuzu’s number one priority in life isn’t the Akatsuki, but money. Kakuzu would probably (and had likely thought about) betray them all in exchange for a tidy sum. So Nagato (as Pein) works to keep Kakuzu content enough to remain loyal, including making him the group’s treasurer and giving him complete control over everyone’s finances. And Kakuzu remains highly useful; strategizing, completing missions twice as fast (and ten times as efficient) as his younger teammates. Pein approaches Kakuzu and gives him a light kiss on the forehead, before returning to his room. He reminds himself to speak to Kakuzu later; he has some ideas about weapons he’d like to procure for the group, and needs to see if it would be financially feasible to do so.

Konan

Kakuzu genuinely likes Konan, and appreciates her company. Many men of Kakuzu’s generation were raised on the belief system that women were solely meant to be wives, child-bearers, and home-makers; to call a female a ninja was deemed unthinkable. But Kakuzu was a rarity in that he never saw this as being the case; man or woman, one’s inner strength was all that mattered in regards to being a shinobi. He’s spoken with Konan at length about her childhood, and the trauma she endured, and he knows that this little blue-haired lady is a sight tougher than a LOT of people (and Kakuzu’s met quite a few in his long life). Konan walks up to him and he smiles; it’s rare for Kakuzu to smile, but Konan brings it out of him. “Good evening, Kakuzu-san. I think it’s my turn.” He nods, and slips off his mask so that his lips are exposed. He leans down and very, very gently kisses her cheek. Her blushing skin is soft and her smile is beautiful as she thanks him and steps away, to let the next person go.

Kisame

Nobody knows this about Kakuzu (and he fears he would be mocked if they did), but the old guy puts a lot of emphasis on the idea of exercise. Five hearts is a lot of responsibility, and staying healthy is how Kakuzu intends to keep living forever. So every night, when the others are asleep and after he’s done with his reading, he’ll spend some time in his room exercising. One night Kisame passed by his open door and saw him using a pair of heavy books as make-shift weights. The next evening Kisame came to Kakuzu’s room with a set of real barbells , which he casually gave to Kakuzu with the admonition not to overdo it. Kakuzu greatly appreciated the gesture (and the unspoken support), and the two have been good friends ever since. But ... a kiss between them would just be too strange, so Kisame comes up with a better option: an arm-wrestling match, Kisame grabs the kitchen table and two chairs and sets them up under the mistletoe. Of course the rest of the Akatsuki gathers to watch, hooting and hollering and placing bets on who will win. Kisame and Kakuzu are both fairly evenly matched, so that challenge goes on for a while. Finally, with a final grunt of exertion, Kakuzu is able to slam Kisame’s hand into the table. Everyone claps, and Kisame laughs and tells Kakuzu that he’s “one tough son of a bitch”; high compliment coming from a man who was half-shark.

Itachi

Out of all the members of the Akatsuki, Itachi was by far the least problematic of the younger ones. Quiet, thoughtful, quick and efficient in completing missions. And polite; always forthcoming with “please” and “thank you”, and never failing to use honorifics with the others, even though some of them (ie Deidara and Hidan) don’t show him that same respect back. One time Kakuzu had caught a cold that stubbornly hung on for several days. Itachi came to his room every day with a cup of congestion-easing tea, something that Kakuzu didn’t ask for, but greatly appreciated nonetheless. Itachi comes up to him and nods. “Kakuzu-san.” “Itachi-san.” Itachi leans up and gives him a light kiss to the cheek, and Kakuzu is struck by a particular urge — to hug this kid. Something about him, perhaps everything about him, seems like a cry for parental love and affection. Kakuzu resists this odd impulse, but Itachi seems to sense that it’s something he wanted, because he leans over again and very briefly puts his arms around the older man. “Thank you,” he murmurs, before walking away. Kakuzu watches him go, slightly shaking his head.

Tobi

Tobi gives Kakuzu an uneasy feeling deep within his heart(s). Running around, speaking loudly, eating nothing but candy and sweets, acting like a complete fool — it’s an act. Kakuzu has never been more convinced of anything in his life. The only question is, why is Tobi putting on this act? To deceive them all into a false sense of security, before striking? Kakuzu has hunted bounties a good deal of his life, and a lot of the more difficult ones to catch have acted EXACTLY the way Tobi does, in order to throw off potential bounty hunters. Kakuzu learned to see through them, the same way he sees through Tobi. But to tip one’s hand and give away what you know is unthinkable in the chase and capture game, so Kakuzu never lets on what he actually believes. “Oh boy Kakuzu-san; does Tobi get a kissy now?!” Kakuzu nods, and Tobi slides his mask halfway off (Kakuzu notes the lines on the side of his face; accident, most likely. Possibly a disfiguring one) and the strange glint of his eye. Before Tobi can act, Kakuzu puts a hand on his face and kisses his forehead. “There. Now go.” Tobi slides the mask back on and hurries away with his usual chatter and giggling, and Kakuzu reminds himself to loom through the bingo book later for bounties with visible scarring on the left side of the face.

Zetsu

Five hearts means more blood needed to sustain said hearts. More blood means a stronger scent. A stronger scent means ... Kakuzu smells delicious to someone like Zetsu. Zetsu approaches him and looks around quickly; the two are alone. His brain runs through every possible scenario in which he could successfully kill and eat Kakuzu. He’s victorious in a few ... but most end with him mutilated by the man’s tentacles, and having to face the wrath of Pein on top of everything else. So he simply sighs, flicks out his tongue to taste the saltiness of Kakuzu’s cheek, and walks away again. Just that one taste was almost enough to make zetsu throw restraint to the wind and eat his fill, so he leaves before he can do anything he’ll regret. Kakuzu wipes off his cheek in mild disgust ... in a group full of freaks, Zetsu certainly seemed to take the cake.

Deidara

Kakuzu still remembers the day they brought this kid into the group. And that’s exactly what he was; a kid. Barely 15 years old, with a powerful “gift”, and full of anger at a village he felt betrayed him in not trying to understand his unique sense of ‘art’. Fast forward several years later and Deidara had changed, and most of that change was the better. Kakuzu could only surmise that the kid matured due to the constant council and guidance of his older and wiser partner Sasori; Kakuzu feels mildly jealous that Sasori was able to reign some measure of improvement over HIS young partner, but Kakuzu couldn’t do a thing with Hidan. Still, though, even Sasori hadn’t been able to completely tame the kid, as evidenced by Deidara managing to get BOTH arms blown off in a tussle with some Konoha nin. Kakuzu had been tasked with sewing his new arms back on, but to the kids credit, despite his painful the procedure had been, he didn’t utter a sound. Had even thanked Kakuzu, twice, afterwards. Deidara walks up to him and looks almost shy; 19 years old now and still with the face of a child. Kakuzu leans down and kisses the kid’s forehead, again noting his soft and smooth — and LONG — his hair was. It sways as Deidara walks away, and Kakuzu wonders how much he could get for those luscious locks, from the right buyer.

Sasori

Respect. Out of all the words that Kakuzu could use to describe how he felt about Sasori, Respect was at the top of the list. And the funny thing was, Kakuzu hadn’t even met the REAL Sasori until almost a year of being in the Akatsuki. The two had been sent on a mission, and at night, near the campfire, a soft metal sound made Kakuzu turn his head. It was a small, slender redhead, emerging from the being that Kakuzu had THOUGHT was a real person. The two had looked at each other for a while, and then started a game of cards as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As time went on, the two became closer. They both shared an interest in/knowledge of medical jutsu and procedures, and would often come to one another with questions or with articles on different medicines. Kakuzu nods at him as he walks up, and Sasori does the same. He thinks about it, bends down and kisses Sasori’s left cheek, and Sasori smiles at him, bidding him a quiet Good Evening before going back to his room.

Hidan

“Hey old fuck; you’ve been dying to get your hands on my sexy body all day, haven’t ya, pervert?” Kakuzu would roll his eyes at Hidan’s comment, but at this point, he’s ridiculously used to the things his partner says and does. As he looks at Hidan’s face, he wonders, and not for the first time, whether this is a punishment of sorts. Gaining five hearts and creating a kind of immortality only came for Kakuzu at the end of a long and bloody road, one paved with the unwilling sacrifices of other people. Was it Fate, that the Gods had put THIS man, this loud, overbearing, foul-mouthed heathen, into his path? And as the one person who just might be immortal, too? Hidan often joked about “When all these other assholes bite the big one, me and you might as well get married, bastard.” But what in the world was he saying? Surely he was joking; why would someone as young and attractive as Hidan want to be with Kakuzu? Kakuzu who was heaven knows how many times Hidan’s age, and — “So we gonna slobber each other or what?” “You’ve got a big mouth, brat. Learn to shut up once in a while.” “MAKE me shut up, fuck-face.” So Kakuzu grabs Hidan around the waist, tilts him back, and sinks into his lips. Kakuzu’s mouth is rough and scarred but Hidan’s is smooth and soft, and the contrast creates a dizzying effect for both men. Hidan grasps Kakuzu’s shoulders tighter, leaving slight nail-prints in Kakuzu’s flesh. Their lips are touching but in this moment it feels like everything is touching, even their very souls (if either of them still had one, that is). When Kakuzu finally breaks the kiss and pulls Hidan back up, the white-haired immortal seems fairly disorientated ... but that doesn’t stop his mouth. “You’re an even bigger pervert than I thought, old fuck. Who the hell said you could stick your tongue in my mouth?? And why —” Kakuzu suddenly reaches out and grabs Hidan’s face with both hands, this time pulling him forward into a very soft, closed-mouth kiss. “Better?” Instead of a smartass answer, Hidan simply nods; and now he’s smiling as he walks away. If he were to turn around at any point, he’d surely gasp; because Kakuzu’s smile was even bigger than Hidan’s own. “Stupid kid,” Kakuzu mutters to himself, still smiling as he makes his way back to his room.

#the akatsuki #under the mistletoe #kissing #kakuzu #hidan #konan #pein #tobi #deidara #sasori #kisame #itachi uchiha #zetsu

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silyabeeodess · 3 years

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FusionFall Headcanons: Professor Paradox

Whether in FusionFall or the Ben 10 multiverse, Professor Paradox is just an much an enigma as ever. He can appear at any point in the timestream to lend a hand or give a cryptic warning, keeping much of his knowledge close to the vest. However, while it is understandable that many would be wary of him, this time-traveler is only looking to help.

Despite all of his abilities, Paradox does mention that there are “places he cannot go and things he cannot do.” For the sake of this point, I’ll bring up Omniverse. In the episode “Ben Again,” Paradox warns Eon against travelling to a place in time “with two time-travelers (himself and Eon) already there” since he could “cause a rupture” on an already stretched timeline and lose himself in time altogether. This would confirm that Paradox can meet past or alternative versions of himself and must be extremely careful as a result. Since Ben and Gwen have met their past/future selves, it seems to be a bigger issue for Paradox since he is an immortal time-traveler manipulating the events of history. If a separate Professor Paradox exists in FusionFall, the two versions would likely need to stay out of each other’s way and/or silently agree to keep to their own, respective multiverses.

Paradox doesn’t exactly get along with the Time Squad organization due to their goals not always aligning: Paradox travels through time with the hopes of improving the events of history while the Time Squad does so to ensure that history follows its correct course. He’s run into their officers on countless occasions, both allying with them and going against them. Ultimately, both sides want to positively effect the timestream, but they have separate ideas of how to do so. Paradox views members of the Time Squad as being short-sighted, with their general focus on a singular timeline as opposed to the wider multiverse. Time Squad officers, meanwhile, often see Paradox as a threat/criminal disrupting past events.

Because of this, just like how Celestialsapiens and Chronosapiens don’t like Paradox, he isn’t always welcome in FusionFall or similar universes by other time-travelers. He’s a force outside of their control/knowledge and no one knows what he’s going to change for his view of a better timeline. He doesn’t follow their sets of rules. Luckily for Paradox, he’s developed the wisdom to know how to best act in most situations, including sometimes discussing solutions with other time-travelers in roles like his own first in order to avoid conflict when possible.

I’d like to think that Paradox has messed up at times, in the very least when he first began his journey as a time-traveler, contributing to the hatred he gets from various beings.

As mentioned in other posts, there are quite a few people who’ve time-travelled in the world of FusionFall. (Samurai Jack’s backstory, the Time Squad, the PPG in “Speed Demon” and “Get Back Mojo”; Dexter in “Ego Trip,” “Deedeemensional”, and “Old Flame”; Numbuh 4 in “Operation F.U.T.U.R.E.”; Billy and Mandy in “Test of Time”; Gwen in “Time Heals”; and, of course, the research participants in Dexter’s experiments from the game itself.) Paradox has even helped clean up a couple of messes left behind during some of these incidents, and it kind of fascinates him just how many countering forces can exist in FusionFall without the timeline imploding...

As to why some of these cases have halted aging while others haven’t, it has to do with how their jumps through time occurred--whether or not a being was displaced outside of time like Paradox himself. For the sake of FusionFall’s combined storylines, I believe this may have been what resulted in Samurai Jack no longer aging given Aku’s explanation in Season 5 and how we see the greater effects of his time-travel abilities in the game “Samurai Jack: Battle Through Time.” The game’s alternate ending allows Jack to save Ashi from being erased from the timeline due to the future Aku’s death/entrapment in a timeless realm of his own creation. The state of this realm and its greater effects of events outside of it are what makes me think that Jack was possibly removed from time already during his initial jump via the magical portal. Like Jack though, most people don’t even know what’s happened to them or that such an incident occurred until they notice their unchanging state over the course of years. Paradox is aware of who fell out of time and who didn’t, but usually chooses not to interfere. For one thing, most cases are more similar to Jack’s than his own, where the fall out of time is “brief” to that individual. They have to cope with their ageless state, but don’t share Paradox’s understanding of spacetime. He wouldn’t mind helping them if an individual chose the path of an immortal time-traveler, in the very least to avoid trouble later down the road: He just knows that many won’t, instead finding other paths. As such, the most he does is keep an eye out for them in case they’re being threatened by other time-travelers and see how their involvement in certain events could change history.

It’s largely thanks to Paradox that the wormholes disappeared. Along with the return of Dexter’s research participants to the past, he was able to push certain events behind the scene that stabilized the timeline enough to fix them by the time the events of the Academy version occurred. Once the wormholes went away, most of everyone’s memories of them also faded aside from Paradox’s own. Most people just vaguely recall the messages sent through them, similar to how Gwen remembered what (future) Ben told her to do in “Ben Again,” but not the events surrounding that moment.

Some of the stones in the Crystalline Caverns are the same type of quartz crystals used for his initial spacetime experiment.

#fusionfall #headcanons #video games #this is by far one of the hardest characters i've made a post for #i've written stuff with time travel before but i tend to work linear #maybe playing around with fate and the grandfather paradox #multiverses can just get messy #and i really don't like it when they're used as an excuse for an author not to keep up with their own lore #thankfully ben 10 used it for the exact opposite and made it an integral part of the plot #aside from keeping AUs separate in a multiverse i fee like i don't know what i'm doing #i have no idea how much i'd play around with this character

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dancingthesambaa · 3 years

Text

The Smell of Plum Blossom Tea Ch 9

Summary: Just like a butterfly wing, a single act of kindness can change the course of the future, it certainly did for MK as a black furred monkey put out a hand towards him.

Rating: Teen and up

Chapter 9: Decisions and Hesitations

“You really want to do this, you really want to try and race me?” Mei asks as she sees MK roll up in the restaurant scooter.

“I’m in it to win it!” He cockily said, “and besides I always wanted to try out one of these races, my new powers are gonna seriously help me!”

“So are we!” They see an orange and blue demon with their own car as they posed ontop of it.

“Yin!”

“And Gin!”

“You don’t even know the track!” The pro racer yelled out as she leaned in closer to him.

“I got Monkey King powers! I think I will be fine!”

“It doesn’t work like that!”

Needless to say, both demons were ignored, but the next demon wasn’t as he revved up his engine.

“Quiet peasants! I’m trying to get in the zone!” Red Son called out as he kept his eye on the track in front of him.

“Oh hey Red! I didn’t know you were participating!” MK smiled and gave a wave.

“Well the prize is a worthwhile venture to be acquired,” he huffed out.

“Well I hope you boys will like the taste of my fumes when I leave you both in the dust!” She grinned savagely.

“Please, you will be the one tasting my dust!” The Monkie kid shot back.

“You want to bet on it!”

“Oh yeah! The usual?”

“You know it, you want to join in hot head?” She asked the prince.

“As if I would want to participate in your frivolous competition,” he rolled his eyes.

“Awww, it sounds like you scared,” she began to mock him.

“What!” A burst of flame emerged.

“Chicken! Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!” MK flapped his arms as he did that.

“Red Son is no coward! What is the bet!” He hissed out as steam emitted from his mouth.

“Loser has to treat the other to an all you can eat ice cream!” MK quickly shouted.

“Deal!”

“And it looks like things are heating up down in the tracks!” Yin stated as he and his brothers entered the commenter podium.

“And on a totally unrelated note, we're the new commentators,” Jin added as he grabbed the mic.

“I really shouldn’t be surprised something like this would happen,” MK sighed as he quickly put his seatbelt on.

“And to spice things up we’ve gone ahead and altered the race track!”

“WHAT!” Not only the trio, but every racer shouted out as they saw the now new and updated version of the track on the screen.

“Here’s your start and here’s your finish, get there anyway you like!” Yin said as she pointed to multiple areas.

“Fuck me!” One of the racers screamed out as he slammed his head against the wheel.

“Well there goes all of my plans!” Another angrily said in a red car as she honked her horn violently.

“I’m gonna kill them,” a calm voice said as they gripped the wheel.

“This is fine,” someone’s eye twitches violently, “this is perfectly fine.”

“On your marks!”

“Hold on!” Mei cried out as she tried to figure out if that really just happened.

“Get set!”

“Wait what!?” Red Son blanched as he looked at the commentator sector, more specifically the twin demons, as if he wanted to climb up there and rip both their mouths off.

“Go!” They echoed together as only MK began to drive off as he had no previous experience with racing, so he wasn’t weighed down on the dangers, uncertainties, and screwups that can occur with not having the road memorized.

“See you at the finish line!”

“Oh hell no!” Mei revved her engine and began to chase after him.

“Get back here!” Red Son did the same as he quickly followed and soon enough everyone joined in as well.

“I still can’t believe that they weren’t real,” MK grumbled as he licked his ice cream.

“I still can’t believe the both of you thought it was real,” Mei smirked as she pointed her spoon at them.

“In hindsight, I should have never thought that the peaches of immortality would ever be a prize in a mortal sport,” Red Son grumbled as he bit into his cone. “Every demon, creature, and mortal alike would be flocking at the chance of immortality if it was real.”

“Well jokes on the both of you, cause now I can savor my free delicious goodness,” she held up her cup.

“You don’t have to rub it in,” the boy groaned.

“Yeah, I do. I mean, who was saying that they only needed the great Monkey King powers to win?” She put her finger to her chin, “Oh right! It was you!”

“I said I was sorry.”

“Well since you got me my wonderful prize, your apology has been accepted. Just try not to be dumb next time.”

“All I can do is try!”

“If it wasn’t for you, I would have won!” The flame demon half glared at MK.

“To be fair, how was I supposed to know that I crashed into you when I fell out of the sky!” He threw his hands up. “I was just trying to get ahead!”

“Well now my vehicle is in ruins because of you!”

“You're not the only one, Pigsy is gonna kill me once I get back,” he smacked his head on the table.

“Don’t you have Monkey King powers?” She pointed out.

“Huh?” MK tilted his head as the demon's eyes widened in realization as he smacked his face.

“You could have fixed it!” He roared out.

“Oh right!” He had totally forgotten that he could do that, “I am soo doing that after we eat.”

Red Son grabbed him by his collar and brought him close until they were nose to nose, “I have spent countless months making and fine tuning my car to my tastes and you, noodle boy, have ruined that in less than a second. You will fix my car now.”

“Oor I can do that,” he quickly grabbed his staff and went outside as the two follow.

“Don’t worry,” Mei patted the demon's shoulder, “I know exactly your pain. Love him, but he almost lost a hand after he managed to bust my engine.”

“I said I was sorry!” He called out as both vehicles reverted back to their original state with a few missing pieces here and there.

“Tell that to my motor!”

Red Son inspected his car and nodded his head, “still some parts missing, but an adequate patch up job nonetheless. I will bring it back to its former glory when I bring it back home.”

“Your welcome,” the Monkie kid smiled.

“You're the one who broke it in the first place!”

“Point,” he then walked a little way closer, “soo I guess this means you're gonna head home now.” He said a bit sadly, he liked hanging out with Red, he is one of the few, besides Mei, who can match his level of energy. So it was always a bummer whenever he had to head back to his crummy family, he had heard how parents talked to him and needless to say, he did not like it.

The demon side eyed his friend's words and huffed, “I can do whatever I want, you have no authority over me.” He marched back inside with his head held high.

Both MK and Mei's eyes slightly widened at this, but they both shared grins as they quickly followed him back inside the shop.

“So question, is water wet?” She couldn’t help herself.

“By the-of course it is wet!” He looked so lost at the random question.

“Nope it’s not,” MK stood firm in his belief, he knew what Mei was doing, but he was not about to let this go.

“Of course it is noodle boy! If water makes other materials wet then by default the water is wet!”

“Key word ‘other materials’ the water itself is not wet.”

“That makes no sense, of course it is!”

“It makes perfect sense!”

“Do you have a brain or is it hiding under all that stupidity?!”

“I will not back down from this, water is not wet!”

“In what world!”

Mei happily sat back and enjoyed the chaos she just unfolded.

“Nice job MK,” Monkey King complimented his protege when he saw him master the reverse strike. “You are getting quite the hang of this.”

“Thanks!” He smiled as he swung his staff back to his side.

“You're learning faster than I have ever anticipated, are you learning from another teacher behind my back?” He narrowed his eyes teasingly though it still held a hint of seriousness as he was curious about how he knew some of those moves.

“No!” He immediately said, but he backtracked moments later, “well yeah, but not like that! It’s just that my Dad has been teaching me some fighting moves for the past couple of years.��

“Lighten up,” he jokingly ruffled his head, “I’m just teasing you. Though I seriously have to meet your old man sooner or later, he seems like a pretty cool dude if he’s teaching you all this.”

“Of-,” he cut himself off as he realized what he was about to do. His dear ol Dad, the medicine monkey who has a grumpy temper, the biggest worrier he has ever met, was Macaque, the same monkey who tried to kill the Monkey King and the rest of the gang, albeit under a huge misunderstanding.

He cannot, under any circumstances, be allowed to meet his Dad again.

While he doesn’t think that Monkey King will go off the rails and try to exterminate him on sight, he rather not take the chance either way. But, as much as he hates to admit it, there will always be the possibility that the two will meet sooner or later.

“Maybe later,” he nervously said as he scratched the back of his neck. “But how about teaching me something else, likkke a certain 72 transformation technique.” He really wanted to learn this out of all the moves.

The monkey sage merely quirked his eyebrow at his student's blatant tell, but he let it slide…for now. “Oh ho ho, now why should I teach you that?”

“But why not?”

“But why?” He shot back.

“But, but, but it would be so cool!” It really would be so cool, transforming into all those different kinds of animals, but he does have to admit that he does have a certain animal that he is leaning towards.

“It is definitely a cool move,” he agreed as he balanced on his tail, “but you don’t have to learn that at the moment.”

“Oh come on, when will I be ready,” he huffed out.

“When I say you are,” he poked the middle of his forehead then playfully snagged his violet bandana off his head and began to run away.

“Hey! Give that back!” He began to chase the monkey as they traverse up the mountain.

“Here’s your next lesson,” he tied the bandana to his left arm as he was standing on top of a large boulder. “We will be focusing on your stamina next, you seem to have a lot, but I want to test out how long you can go for.”

“Oh I can go on for a long time!” He cockily stated as he had already climbed up halfway to him, “so you better give me back my bandana when I catch you!”

“Good luck with that,” he shot back with the same arrogance as he hopped over to a tree that was quite a distance away. He silently watched his protege leaped from the rock to the tree closest to it, then he saw him stumble a bit with the different texture as he climbed on, but this is when he became a bit confused as he saw him sit down on one of the tree branches and proceeded to take his shoes and socks off. “What are you doing?” He muttered out.

Then he saw MK begin to climb once more and, he noted, that he actually began to have an easier time with climbing and swinging from tree to tree. “Well, I’ll be.”

It was only when MK got closer did he ask, “so it seems that I have underestimated your climbing skills, is this what your Dad also taught you?”

“Kinda,” he brightly said as he kept on climbing, “I was raised in the Plum Blossom Forest, I might as well have been born in there! I think that I have climbed every tree imaginable that was in that forest.”

“The Plum Blossom Forest,” the Monkey King mused. He knew of it, it had popped up a couple of centuries back, but he really never had a chance to check it out before. “Sounds interesting, I didn’t know humans were living there,” he subtly asked.

“There isn’t,” MK automatically said, not understanding the sage question.

“Oh? Is that so? So you visit often,” he curiously asked as he moved to a different treetop.

“Stop moving! But, no I live there, I thought I already told you that,” MK huffed as he moved over to the next tree.

“No, you said nothing of sorts,” he mocked back, “but if there is no human there, then how about you and your Dad?”

“Well I am the only human, my Dad’s not,” he momentarily stopped mid climb as he just realized what he admitted, but continued to climb. “He’s a demon.”

“A demon, that is something you don’t hear every day,” he teased. He has nothing against interspecies relationships, but he does have to admit that there aren't many couples like that out there. Prejudice is a right bitch at times no matter how much the eras may go past. “Your parents must really have a strong relationship with each other.”

As MK was about to say something an idea began to form in his head as he calmly switched tracks and said, “Nah, it’s just my Dad. He adopted me after he found me in the rain out in the alley after I got lost.” While he doesn’t want the two to meet again, he can admit to himself that there will always be a possibility that it will happen, so why not let the Monkey King see his Macaque in a better light.

His eyes widened as he heard this, but other than that, his entire form stayed the same, “Well that was nice of him,” was all he said.

MK only felt a bit bad about trying to manipulate the great Monkey King, but he kinda doesn’t want his Dad to be turned into utter paste if they ever meet again. So he will use every trick in the book he learns from both him and Mei and makes sure that when this all blows up in his face then at least he will have some resemblance of a bomb shelter to shield them from the blast.

So like he said, he only felt a bit bad.

“Yep! He’s been raising me ever since then!” He cheerily added as he eyed a certain monkey keeping his poor bandana hostage.

Wukong opted to stay quiet at this as he let the rest of the implications fall over him on his student situation. Though he did move back to the mountain once he got too close once again.

“Oh come on!”

“Seriously, why does this Forest even have faeries?!” Red Son yelled out as he finally found his way to the treehouse.

“Hello to you too,” MK grinned as he saw him and Mei walk towards him. “I didn’t know you two were coming together.”

“We weren’t,” Mei grumbled in irritation, “but some faeries decided that this is the time that they wanted to be devious, so I was stuck there for three hours!”

“I was in there for two before I saw biker girl,” the demon added as he stomped over to the tree. “If we didn’t spot each other, I was about to set fire to everything around me just so I can finally come here.”

“Agreed,” she growled out. This wasn’t her first time dealing with those half pint brats and she knows it won’t be her last. “Even Baba was laughing at us.”

“If I didn’t respect her so much I would be furious with her,” Red grumbled. He had met the divine creature on multiple occasions as he has always felt like an ant in her eyes whenever they meet. It was both infuriating and fascinating at the same time.

“At least they didn’t try to make deals with you,” MK tried to look on the bright side, only to get twin glares.

“I know better than to even play nice with a murderous being that is not even the size of my pinky! Mei doesn’t fuck with that kind of trickery, I like my soul thank you very much.”

“The faeries of this forest don’t do deals,” both humans looked at him in confusion, “I know, weird, but apparently Macaque told me some time ago when I first mentioned them that he and the Queen of the colony made a deal that they can stay in his forest as long as they don’t attempt to harm anyone that wanders in.” Now when he first heard this he was more than a little skeptical. Faeries, especially Woodland Faeries, are known for tricking their prey into a deal that usually ends with them losing their soul. Just because they look cute and innocent, doesn’t mean that they aren’t cold, manipulative little bastards stuffed with wiggly cruelty. He should know, he and his family have met with several of their kinds in his travels and even his parents refuse to have anything to do with those cretins.

“But they can still do shit like this,” she pointed out.

“Unfortunately yes,” he grumbled and he couldn’t help but add, “and I would have been able to maneuver my way through this if you didn’t insist on going your own way.”

“Me?” She marched up to him and pointed a finger at his chest, “You were the one getting all high and mighty and strutting around the forest like your hot shit! I was just following you fancy pants.”

“Ridiculous! You were the one saying ‘Don’t worry I know this forest like the back of my hand’ but apparently, you don’t know it as much as you hoped,” he slapped her hand away.

“Guys,” MK tried to butt in, but it was no use as their argument grew louder.

“Oh ho ho! Look who's talking Mr. ‘This is hardly a hassle for someone like me!’ But I guess someone like you ain’t worth the title you own!”

“Mei no,” the boy looked towards her.

“Not. Worth. My. Title?!” His head flickered in fury as steam began to come out.

“Red please,” MK practically was begging at this point.

He almost seemed to listen…almost as he calmly retorted “That says a lot a little coming from you little miss princess.”

“Goddamnit,” he sighed as he quickly stepped back as Mei tackled Red Son as she screamed.

“I am no fucking Princess! I am a goddamn Queen!”

The two began to brawl wildly across the area and the more Mei punched Red in the face and Red kneed her in the stomach, more and more bruises began to form.

“Honestly I’m shocked that this didn’t happen sooner,” he admitted as he sat back and watched their fight.

Then when both Dragon successor and Bull prince managed to throw each other away from one another, one brought out a glowing viridian sword in hand and the other lit up his fist in all its blaze of glory.

“Shit!” MK shouted as he began to sprint towards them with staff in hand.

Mei rushed towards Red Son with frustration in her eyes and he charged her with irritation on his own and just before their attacks hit one another a certain staff blocked their way and the trio attack let out a devastating roar.

BOOOM!

They all were pushed back by a tidal wave of heat and air but managed to stay on their feet.

“Okay I wasn't expecting that!” MK was the first one to say as he got his bearings. “A little boom, yes, but not whatever that was.”

“I hate to admit it, but I agree with you noodle boy,” Red Son said as he lowered his arms and looked down at their crater.

“You’re telling me,” Mei looked impressed by their miniature destruction as she looked around the area, “we managed to cause quite a bit of-FUCK!”

“What?!” Both boys whipped towards Mei, who looked oddly terrified as she pointed towards the tree line. They followed her finger and what they saw made them match her own face as standing at what used to be a beautiful grove of Plum Blossoms, was now a charred pile of ash.

“Nononono!” MK rushed over as he tried to examine the charred ground. “I thought I blocked it!”

“Well I think you redirect it!” Mei said in a panic as well, she knew very well just how much the trees meant to Macaque and now they had all done and fucked them up.

“How?!”

“Magic does strange things,” was all Red Son could mutter as he looked down at his destruction. He has never known why these trees were so important, after all this whole forest has an abundance of these, but during his multiple visits here he has gotten small snippets from both Macaque unruly friends and the creatures that dwell here of how important these trees mean to the Six Eared monkey. So, he tries his best to neither harm nor burn down a tree when he visits, despite not knowing why. Now he has thrown that all in the trash as he sees he has ruined something of importance to him.

“Now is not the time?!” MK panicked screamed as he tried to pick up the ash, but it just fell through his fingers. “This is so bad.”

“Are you guys okay?!” They all stiffen and quickly turn to see both Macaque and Ahmed leap towards them with worry on their faces. The monkey continued, “I heard screaming and an explosion.”

They all rushed in front as they tried, and failed, to cover their mess.

“We’re perfectly fine,” Mei grinned wide, “nothing is wrong.”

“She is correct,” Red Son nervously smiled, “everything is quite fine.”

“Yep,” MK didn’t look his Dad in the eyes, “we didn’t do anything bad.”

Both biker and demon elbowed him.

Ahmed and Macaque both looked at each other questioningly.

“Okay, what are you guys hiding?” He crossed his arms and looked to them, more specifically his son.

MK couldn’t help but look up and saw his Dad questioning look and he caved in faster than a house on fire as he wailed. “I’M SO SORRY!”

Mei and Red Son flinched as well as their shoulders dropped down in shame.

“Hey hey,” the monkey kneeled in front of his son as the lion gave a comforting pat on the other two shoulders. “Whatever happened, I’m sure it’s not too bad.”

“No, we fucked up real bad,” she whimpered out with her head lowered. “I am really sorry.”

“No words of apologies can amount to my failure,” the demon lowered his head as well.

“Seriously what happened?” He tried to ask but got only silence and tears in reply.

Ahmed did a quick scan around and he snorted as he saw what was behind them, “I think they're referring to the charred pile of ash behind them.”

The kids all stiffen as they watched Macaque see their destruction and it was only a moment of tense silence that had passed as they all awaited the inevitable yelling, but it wasn’t the one they were anticipating as he started to chuckle.

“Pffffftt, I’m gonna take a guess and say this was you guy’s creation,” he couldn’t help but smirk.

“Yessss?” She drew out the ‘s’ in confusion, “me and Red got in an argument and, well-”

“We fought and then MK stepped in to stop us, but it made it worse and then that happened,” he waved over their mess. “You don’t look mad?”

“Cause I’m not.”

“Really?!” They all shouted as MK continued, “but you told us just how much these trees meant to you and how you grew them yourself and you're telling us that it’s okay?!”

“Yep,” he popped the ‘p’ as he said that.

“But, but why!?”

“Look kiddos, I know both you and gale watched Ahmed and I fight some time ago right,” he said.

“Yeah?” Both humans agreed.

“So you know that we may have gotten more than a little wild with our fight and some things got utterly wrecked.”

“What’s the point of this?”

“I think what he’s trying to say is that during our fight, we destroyed an abundance of Plum trees,” Ahmed stepped in.

“…you know you did, didn’t you,” Mei mused out.

“Oh,” MK blinked as he did remember the clearing getting trashed to the point where it was almost unrecognizable to its previous state. “I suddenly feel like an idiot.”

“You're not the only one.”

“What fight?” Red curiously asked as Mei gave him a quick rundown.

“It’s the thought that counts starlight,” he smirked as he ruffled his son's hair.

“Sure, but I still feel bad,” he mumbled as he kicked a rock.

“Hmm well how bout this,” he grabbed the trio's attention, “to pay me back, all three of you are gonna plant a plant in that spot.”

“Like another Plum Tree or-” the monkey demon cut her off.

“Any plant you want, heck you can even plant daffodils. Those suckers can grow practically anywhere, but you guys will be the ones to take care of your plant. Deal.”

“Deal,” they all nodded.

“Alright but before we do that,” he brings out some bags and gloves, “how bout we clean up your mess.”

“Okay!/Let's do this!/This area will look even better than before!” MK, Mei, and Red Son all shouted as they grabbed the materials and began to clean up.

“I just noticed,” MK said as he put on his gloves with a mischievous grin, as he looked towards Red, “you said my name!”

He blushed as he remembered, but turned away, “no I didn’t.”

Mei matched her brother's grin, “you totally did!”

“It was the slip of the tongue!”

“Awww, you're finally warming up to us!”

“Shut your lying mouth!”

Both monkey and lion shared an amused look as they watched two humans and a demon, one side playfully argue and the other in complete denial, go at it.

It was not until a few weeks later did the once charred spot began to reform back in its former glory, but instead of Plum blossom saplings in its place there was a patch of Protea seeds grown by a Dragon girl, some Lotus buds planted by a Bull prince, and a section of Magnolia saplings nurtured by a Monkey successor.

“One day, you have to tell me how you make these noodles,” Macaque said as he quietly slurped down the rest of the food.

“Trade secret simian,” Pigsy chuckled as he wiped down his counter. “But I might let my lips loose a little if you tell me how you make your Dim Sum dumplings.”

“That can be arranged,” he grinned as he put down his empty bowl, “so, how have you and Tang been doing?”

The pig demon groaned as he stopped himself from slamming his head on the counter, “did Mei put you up to this?”

“Yep,” he unashamedly said.

“Of course she did,” he grumbled, “well tell her that there is nothing there.”

“But you want something to be there,” he pointed his dark green sparkly nail at him. Breezy got him, Comet, and Spitfire to do some nail time and he can say it didn’t turn out so bad. He knows MK was proudly showing off his violet nails against Mei’s bright green ones, even Red was admiring his own sparkly black ones. He even had his long mane of fur braided by them and it goes to show that you can learn new things about someone, he didn’t know little spitfire could braid hair. Apparently, the little prince said he learned it after Daiyu had dragged him off one day to meet some of her siblings, let it be known that he has a weakness towards wide eyed baby birds.

“No I don’t,” he huffed.

He raised an eyebrow.

Pigsy threw up his hands in defeat, “okay fine! Yes! I do like Tang in more than a friend way, happy now.”

“Ecstatic,” he deadpanned as he took a sip of his drink, “so why haven’t you said anything to him? And don’t give me that BS of not wanting to lose your friendship with him.”

“But it is!” He gripped the counter tight for a moment before exhaling, “look, I’ve been through so many crushes and puppy love throughout my life, hell take Spider Queen for one.”

“I think that was more of a lapse of judgment,” he patted the stool next to him.

“Whatever you call it, but for Tang I…I don’t think I ever fell for someone this hard before,” he sighed as he sat down next to the monkey. “I know it’s not a crush, I’ve known him too long and I know him for too long to be something as simple as a crush.”

“So what is it then?”

“I don’t know,” he moaned out as he covered his face with his hands.

“You do,” Pigsy peeked out from between his fingers as he looked at the monkey. “But you just don’t want to say it out loud.”

“Say what?”

“That you love him,” he bluntly stated.

“I do not-”

“So you don’t love the way he smiles?”

“Wha-no I do, but that doesn’t mean-” Pigsy admitted and tried to deny, but was cut off again.

“You don’t like how he looks into your eyes?”

“…his eyes are pretty, but that still-”

“What about how he talks on and on about all that history?”

“Oh fuck off about that!” He lets off a low growl to him, “the man is passionate about what he loves, and goddamnit it’s amazing watching him go on and on about it because he reveres even the smallest of rumors as a treasure no matter how weird they may be! So you can’t sit here and tell me that someone like him doesn’t ignite a spark within your soul as you look deep within him and can’t help but marvel at just how beautiful he is!”

Macaque raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms.

Pigsy's whole body stilled as he realized what he said, then he firmly said, “but that doesn’t mean that I love him?”

“Why not?”

“Why not? For fuck sake I have never taken Tang out on a date nor do I even know if he even sees me as anything more than an annoying friend,” he slumped down on the counter.

“You don’t have to be dating to be in love,” Pigsy lifted his head to look at Macaque, but the monkey was steadfastly looking forward. “Love cannot be defined in such a small category, there are so many ways that someone can love another without dating. Sometimes it’s when you laughing along with one of their stupid jokes and you realize that there is something there. Sometimes it is loud and boisterous and even when the other is annoying, you can’t help but still want to stay by their side no matter what. Sometimes it’s the quiet times where you are with them and then it clicks that you want something more, that there is something more. It’s that moment, when you're curled up next to them with the sun high in the sky, you know that you love them.”

There was a silence in the air as both demons knew what was implied, but neither had the guts to say anything.

“Macaque,” the pig demon put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Love is not so biased to one category,” the monkey demon continued as if nothing happened, “it cannot be contained in just one. So, I’ll ask again, do you love Tang?”

“…I didn’t even realize when I fell hard until I was listening to him talk about some underwater temple and I just couldn’t stop staring at just how beautiful he was at that moment. He was hella annoyed when he found out I wasn’t even paying to him, but that was then I realized I truly did love him,” Pigsy softly chuckled as he put his hand down.

“You did?” His head shot up at the familiar voice and he turned around to the front of the door to see Sandy, MK, and Mei all surrounding the voice, which made his heart drop as he saw Tang.

“How much did you hear?!”

“Ever since the little crush bit,” Mei smiled widely.

“Mei!”

“We heard it all,” MK joined in.

“MK!”

“It was really sweet Pigsy,” Sandy cooed.

“Sandy!” The pig demon didn’t know who to yell at first and instead turned to the monkey, “Macaque! You knew?!”

“Well I did say I was helping Mei with her plan,” he shrugged with a smirk.

Before Pigsy could lay it on him, he felt a warm hand touch his shoulder and his attention was brought back to a wide eyed historian.

“So is it true?” He asked with something the pig demon didn’t recognize, “did you really mean that?”

It was at that moment when he really wanted to just say it was all one big misunderstanding and maybe, he would be able to salvage the tender relationship he still had with Tang, but when he looked into his eyes he knew that he couldn’t lie to him, not now. “Yeah, I do. I love you and I know this is out of the blue, but I…oh.” He cut himself off as two arms encircled his neck and hugged him as tight as he could. “Uhhhh?”

“We could have been doing this so much sooner,” he heard a small chuckle coming from Tang.

“Done what?” His brain hadn’t had time to properly comprehend what was happening at the moment.

Tang then leaned back to put his own forehead on his head, “I realized I love you a few years back when I saw you cooking dinner back at your apartment, you just looked so content at that moment, just smiling as you sang so badly to that song-”

“Never was a good singer,” he couldn’t help but say as his heart beat faster in his ears.

“ThatI just couldn’t help myself from falling in love with you,” his eyes twinkled.

“You don’t say…” he whispered as he drew the human in closer, “it seems we’re a pair of idiots.”

“You're not wrong there,” Tang agreed as he gave a small kiss on the demon's forehead.

His face blushed a fierce red as he mustered up his own courage and kissed the back of the historian hand that was entwined with his.

Tang's smile also grew brighter as he hauled Pigsy up closer to him and placed a kiss right dab on his lips. It wasn’t until elated cheers that the two released each other from the other lips, though they still didn’t let go of the other as throughout the exchange their arms wrapped around the other.

“Woohoo!” MK cheered as he leaped in the air.

“Freenoddleshipping for the win!” Mei pumped her fist in the air.

“It’s about time,” Macaque smirked as his tail swished behind him.

“I am so happy for you guys!” Sandy wailed as he picked both his friends up in a giant hug.

“Sandy! You're kinda crushing us over here!”

“And there goes my bones.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m just so happy for you guys!!”

“Sandy!”

“Operation Lovebird is a success!” The twenty year old grinned as she lobbed her arm around MK's shoulder. “I told you it would work, we just needed the right guy or the right monkey.”

“None of you knows subtly unless it hits you on the head,” the monkey demon said.

“You're not wrong!”

“Speaking of love,” the ponytailed boy walked up to his Dad, “it seemed that something was going on in that speech of yours?”

“Yeahh,” Mei slid up to him, “it seemed like you were talking about someone? Who is it?”

“It’s no one,” he slightly shook his head as he had a nostalgic look on his face, “just an old flame.”

The two shared a surprised, but curious look.

“Now how bout the three of us say our congratulations to the lovebirds for finally getting their head out of their asses before Sandy cuts off their circulation,” he grinned as he ruffled their heads.

“Yeah!/ I am so gonna hold this over both of their heads for a long time,” both monkey and dragon successor grinned as they followed their Dad. Though that little conversation did not leave their mind in the slightest as it was only shifted to the side for now. If the monkey simply thought that they were gonna let it go like that then he has another thing coming.

‘We’re gonna look into this?’ MK’s eyes said as it sideglanced Mei.

‘Duh, like hell we’re gonna let it go.’ Mei agreed with a slight narrow of her eyes.

They had to develop some kind of method to sneak past Macaque and his six ears, else they would have never been able to catch him by surprise.

He did not like this. This technically doesn’t go against the deal they made with Macaque, but he does not like this in the slightest.

‘Why does he have this? Why couldn’t any other mortal or demon have the skeleton key?’ Red Son silently thought as he snuck into MK’s room. ‘Why does it have to be ones I’m acquainted with?’

His eyes widened as he saw, lying precariously on the nightstand, was the skeleton key. ‘Why did it have to go to MK of all people?! Wait? Why the hell did you leave such a dangerous object out in the open?!’ He wanted to scream the last part out, but he held it in instead as he looked towards the key.

He then reached out to grab it, only to stop and retreat a few steps back then he worked up the courage to go back and grab it only for his hand to stop once more and he let out a frustrated groan as he pulled his hair.

‘Damn it! It’s right there and all I need to do is grab it and get out! But I made a deal with Macaque, but this technically doesn’t go against the deal as I’m not physically attacking him, but this still feels wrong!’ He angrily huffed out as he paced the room in agitation as he tried to work himself back up, but then he deflated as he walked to the window.

‘But I can’t do that to him, to them. I can’t,’ he opened the window with his head lowered as he was about to jump out, but then he froze as a prominent thought drilled out.

‘Mother and Father will be disappointed with me.’

He lowered his foot that was about to go out the window.

‘Mother and Father will be disappointed with me.’

He let go of the hand that was on the window.

‘Mother and Father will be disappointed with me.’

With that he rushed over to the key, quickly snatched it up, and placed it in his pocket as if it burned as he leaped out of the window and leaped from rooftop to rooftop.

‘I’m sorry MK, but I can’t have Father and Mother disappointed with me.’ Was his final thought as he moved further and further away from his friend's apartment.

#lego monkie kid #mk #monkie kid #macaque #six eared macaque #PlumTeaAU

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alaynaantics · 3 years

Text

A Feminine Touch-- Part 1

(( Yeah stuff about the cartoon Regular Show will now haunt my page until I feel like it. I’m binge watching this again on Hulu soooo yep yep yep. So without further ado I present to you a Regular Show Fanfiction Featuring Y/N and her friend Dakota.

Regular show is a cartoon network original not my own work obvi.

Enjoy ))

A Feminine Touch

Part 1

“Chick’s ain’t nothing bro!” Muscle Man started “I totally would’ve won that free t-shirt if that chick with the pigtails shut her mouth.”

Muscle Man continued to unfold into great detail of the event that had recently occurred. Earlier that evening himself and High Five Ghost participated in an eating challenge at Cheezers and were a hairs length away from winning. However, before Muscle Man could finish his last couple wings, his female competitor caught him using an illegal eating technique which caused him to be immediately disqualified.

The event left a sour taste in his mouth for the remainder of the day which led him to express his anger to Mordecai and Rigby who had also experienced a similar scenario themselves.

“Ugh! I know right! It feels like girls have it out for us today.” Rigby exclaimed, he leaned back on seat and took a firm swig of the soda he swiped from the snack bar.

“Hm, Hm, Totally dude. Earlier today me and Rigby saw this girl drop her purse on the sidewalk and we tried to help her but then she freaked out saying we tried to harass her or something. Almost got us arrested!” Mordecai spoke with a high level of irritation alongside Rigby who nodded in agreement.

“Sounds like she should stop taking birth control and start taking some chill pills! WOOOOOOOOAH!” Mordecai and Rigby call out in union, leaving Muscle Man and High Fives in a hysterical fit of laughter.

“But seriously guys we should get back to work before Benson finds us slacking off.” Mordecai said as he stood to return to his assigned task as the others followed in his footsteps. Not one man took notice of the figure that hid near the snack bar, every word spoken was heard by keen ears not about to be forgotten any time soon.

~~~

“Okay, Everyone listen up there are a few important announcements I have for today so I need everyone to pay close attention, I'm looking at you Rigby.” Benson voiced at the brunette raccoon which caused him to roll his eyes in annoyance.

“Now first order of businesses we have a CEO visiting the park today for a special proposal!” With new information everyone voiced their excitement between one another but before another word could be spoken a woman appeared from out of thin air. This caused everyone to halt with their chatter and focus on the strange individual before them.

“Ah! Diane, welcome my name is Benson and I'm the Park manager and these are my employee’s Skips, Pops-” unfortunately, Benson never finished naming the rest of his crew once the hand of Diane, the CEO, placed itself right in front of his face.

“I don't need names of your boyish workers who reek of sweat and testosterone.” She spoke with a heavy Russian accent. For obvious reasons this caused the guys to jeer at Diane with anger.

“GAH you girls are all the same! Always complaining and hating on guys when in all actuality it's your fault you're so uptight in the first place! You-you bitch!” Rigby blurted out to Diane who stood unfazed before him.

“Yeah, I get that you’re this big fancy CEO but that doesn't give you the right to pick on us because we're guys!” Mordecai joined Rigby against Diane alongside Muscle Man who joined in due to Rigby’s outburst.

“Yeah, you're just stuck up because no man would wanna hit that! Bahaha am I right Fives?” Questioned Muscleman who leaned over to his ghostly best friend for a high five. What should have been a celebratory high five in his eyes turned out to be the breaking point for Diane.

“Wow” she muttered her heavy accent now non existent “looks like I am in the right to discipline the lot of you.”

Diane shook her head in disappointment before she turned her head to the sky and released a powerful shriek that shook the earth to its core. The sound of the waves created a blast power so great it caused all fragile objects within a ninety mile radius to shatter into dust.

Luckily for Benson Skips protected his head from the soundwave which delayed the damage that would have caused his immediate demise.

“Run!” Shouted Skips but his words were left with no prevail due to massive tree roots that sprouted from the earth that continued to wrap themselves around their ankles in a viper clasp. Diane's eyes shined an envious green before the glow of her hues caused momentary blindness to the park employee’s. Their vision was temporarily impaired even when they cower beneath her gaze they could not escape the wrath of an angry woman. Suddenly, the tremors and screaming all came to a halt that left everything in dead silence.

Skips was the first to uncover his eyes but once his gaze settled upon the being in front of his he cursed beneath his breath. Since Skips rarely cursed in dire situations the other park employees opened their eyes and were not met with Diane but with a giant doe.

“Workers of this so-called Park heed my words!” A voice roared from above.

“It is I, Mother Nature! the Creatress of this planet you house yourselves upon. For centuries I have done nothing but nurture and provide the very resources that give you the very breath you take. So care take why do you believe I am here man?” She questioned, her voice stern yet diligent such as a mother would speak to a mere child.

Benson was the first fool to speak his mind.

“...To make a deal with the park?”

This displeased Mother Nature greatly, so much in fact that she struck lightning near Benson in a slight fit of rage for his incompetence. This caused Benson to shriek and therefore leap into Skips’s arms who skillfully caught him.

“No you blubbering fool! I stand before you today because of how you men view the actions of women! Throughout this disastrous day I have bore witness to everything shorter than a candle’s lick of compassion towards women. Only for heinous comments to follow soon after those encounters from these treacherous snakes you so call friends. Mordecai, Rigby, Muscle Man, and High-five Ghost since you’re so unappreciative of the gifts my kin bestow upon you I shall reap this land from this earth! And take you along with it!”

As she finished her words Mother Nature cast her arms amongst the park grounds leaching the essence and beauty of the land within her grasp. A bitter breeze ripped through the sky that ripped away any vegetation the park acquired through the years. Benson looked around in horror as he witnessed his park being destroyed for the up tenth time within the past few days. His gumballs turn a fierce shade of red as he turned to his two workers who latched onto the house for stability.

“MORDECAI AND RIGBY FIX THIS MESS OR YOUR FIRED!!” Benson screamed across the house lot where he too dangled from the neighboring park light pole.

“Yeah Benson like we totally know how to fix this!” Rigby yelled from afar using sarcasm directed entirely at Benson.

“Yeah Man even if we knew how to fix this I don't know if she’ll listen to us!” Mordecai chimed in next to his best friend a look of confusion stapled upon his features. Benson could feel the strength in his grip depleting by the second and by the looks of his surroundings if they don't act accordingly they won't have anything to hold onto much longer. So, he mustered up whatever professionalism he had left to make an offer in an attempt to save his workers.

“Skips! Skips! I’m begging you please find a way to get us out of this, please Skips help us!” Benson pleaded to his immortal companion, hot tears threatening to overflow and stream down his face. Skips sighed in defeat knowing that it was inevitable that he himself would have to fix everything this time. The white haired man took a deep breath and bet everything on his next words.

“How about we cut a deal?!” Skips yelled aloud and luckily his booming howl reached the Goddesses fluffy ears. Mother Nature hummed with interest allowing the discord to cease momentarily to hear the rest of Skips offer.

“Very well Sir Skips I will adhere to your offer and induct a challenge of my choosing. Understood?”

Skips nodded then continued to hear out her offer.

“I will give yourself and your companions precisely one hour to hire two female workers to be a permanent part of your team. These two individuals will be of my choosing, however, it will be up to you seven to decipher who these chosen ones are within a group of many others. If you hire the correct girls I will spare you and the park but choose wrong and I will drain the essence of your life back into the earth's crust. Do we have a deal?” Her words were sweet but laced with venomous intent as her outstretched hand dangled in anticipation.

This challenge was going to be difficult. They knew this, they all know that the chance of them finding the correct pair is like finding a needle in a haystack. Nevertheless, they all knew what was at stake and with an unspoken unison they all shared a glance with one another in a silent agreement to accept her challenge.

They each stood and placed their hand atop the tip of Mother Nature's massive finger, giving a firm squeeze as a sign of agreement.

“Deal.”

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baoshan-sanren · 4 years

Text

Chapter 33

of the wwx emperor au I’m thinking of calling “Wei Ying, you’re so stupid”

HuaiSang is angry.

Wei Ying passes him the jar as often as possible, hoping that the wine may mellow him out. Three jars later however, Jiang Cheng is leaning slightly sideways even while sitting down, Wei Ying is beginning to see two of everything, but HuaiSang’s anger is still present, an unpleasant fourth addition to their drinking circle.

The fire had been put out; the stench of burning lays heavy over the majority of the Immortal Mountain City, and although Wei Ying had washed up and changed his robes twice, it seems to linger at the back of his throat, bitterly mixing with the sweetness of the wine.

Lan QiRen is unharmed. No one else has been hurt. All in all, for an incident that could have claimed dozens of lives, a small palace burned to the ground is the best possible outcome they could have hoped for.

A-Sang swears. Explicitly.

Wei Ying does not think that fucking the arsonist’s ancestors to the eighteenth generation will do anyone any good, but he keeps his mouth shut.

“I should have doubled his guard,” A-Sang says.

Wei Ying says nothing to this either.

Two separate traps had been set. They had required time, and planning, and full cooperation by the people in the Immortal Mountain that A-Sang actually trusts. Unfortunately, the number of people A-Sang trusts is limited, and nearly half of them had been to sent to YiLing.

They had given the assassin three targets. Two in the Immortal Mountain, and the Emperor himself, seemingly alone and unprotected in YiLing. The assassin had chosen a fourth target, something that no one could have predicted.

Except that A-Sang believes he should have predicted it, and is furious to have been outmaneuvered.

“Let us sum up what we know,” Wei Ying says.

Jiang Cheng groans, “Not again.”

“Yes, again,” A-Sang says, snatching the jar out of his hands, “We should go over the information we have as many times as necessary. We are obviously missing something.”

Jiang Cheng groans again, and keels over, sprawling on the floor. Unlike Wei Ying, he has not had a chance to wash up or change before being pulled into A-Sang’s chambers. Earlier in the day, A-Sang had stuffed him in the Emperor’s robes to play the bait, but now the robes are singed and filthy, and will likely need to be thrown away.

Wei Ying wonders if this is where the lingering scent of stale smoke is coming from.

“Do we agree that nothing suspicious occurred before the Lan Sect arrived?” A-Sang says.

They have gone over this already, but Wei Ying forces himself to think about it again.

“There was nothing,” Jiang Cheng mutters from the floor.

“Nothing,” Wei Ying agrees firmly, “nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Good,” A-Sang says, “then we start at the beginning. The Lan Sect arrives the night before the first day of the festival. They are escorted into the Immortal Mountain by da-ge. They settle into the Peach Blossom Pavilion. Wei Ying goes to liberate the Six Fans Pavilion of its hidden stash of the Emperor’s Smile. Lan WangJi sees him running across the rooftops, and tries to stab him. A decision I still respect, by the way.”

Jiang Cheng snorts.

“Day one,” A-Sang goes on, “the Greeting Ceremony, during which Wei Ying blatantly ogles Lan WangJi--“

“Hey!” Wei Ying exclaims.

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng says, invisible on the other side of the table, “You did do that.”

“--then the Sect Leader meeting, during which Wei Ying displays obvious favoritism toward the Lan Sect, ensuring that even those sect leaders who had been ambivalent before, now have an entirely new set of reasons to despise them,” A-Sang says.

Wei Ying buries his head in his hands.

“Then the banquet, where Wei Ying singles out Lan WangJi again.”

“I just wanted to talk to him,” Wei Ying groans through his fingers.

“Do not forget the part where Wei WuXian drinks so much that he tries to piss into a potted plant,” Jiang Cheng adds.

Wei Ying snatches the jar out of A-Sang’s hands, “I thought we were talking about suspicious events.”

“He is right,” A-Sang nudges Jiang Cheng with his foot, “the Emperor getting stumbling drunk and trying to piss in inappropriate places is hardly out of the ordinary.”

A snort drifts up from the floor.

Wei Ying hates them both.

“Day two,” A-Sang goes on, “The picnic. Someone tries to poison Lan WangJi. The Jin Sect tries to pin the poisoning on Lan XiChen. Two servants are killed, their bodies stuffed in the stairway of the old north-west watchtower. No poison is found in their quarters. The sword fighting competition is postponed. Day three. The Immortal Mountain is searched top to bottom. All the servants are questioned. All the sects willingly submit to the search. Nothing suspicious is found. The Council decides it is safe to resume the competition the following day. The Emperor goes pining across the rooftops until Lan WangJi pays attention to him. He tells Lan WangJi that he means to enter the competition in secret. Lan WangJi tells his uncle and brother. The only other people aware of the ruse are A-Cheng, shijie, Wen Qing, and myself.”

“I did not pine,” Wei Ying grumbles.

“Day four,” A-Sang says, ignoring him, “Every sect and clan is present at the competition. The Lan Sect arrives on time, and is placed at the Nie Sect table. Lan XiChen fights da-ge and wins. The Emperor almost gets himself killed because he is too distracted by Lan WangJi to compete properly. An arrow from the West watchtower nearly costs the Empire its most valued subject. The Jin Sect tries to pin the assassination on the Lan Sect, again.”

“That is hardly suspicious,” Jiang Cheng says, hand reaching up to grab the wine jar, “the Jin Sect is terrible by rule.”

“Wait,” Wei Ying says, “wait. While I was competing in the West Gate courtyard I spoke to the little demon from the Nie Sect, Nie XuanYu. He said that only three of the Jin Sect disciples had signed up to compete with the rest of them, but that none had actually shown up.”

Jiang Cheng sits up suddenly, then sways.

“Gossip,” he says, then thinks for a moment, as if gathering his drunken thoughts, “There was gossip among the smaller sects about the Jin being too proud to compete in the bottom four tiers. Yao MingYu was told by one of the Jin disciples that the Jin Sect does not produce below average cultivators.”

Wei Ying snorts, “Bold of them to say that, when Fan XiaoHu keeps wiping the floor with Jin ZiXuan.”

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, “that girl is a menace.”

Wei Ying bites his tongue so he would not laugh. He had forgotten that Fan XiaoHu had wiped the floor with Jiang Cheng a few times too.

A-Sang taps the table with his fan, “Focus! Who has the list? A record must be kept of those who signed up to compete, whether they ended up participating or not.”

“Uncle Jiang should have it,” Wei Ying says, his heart immediately sinking.

He still needs to have a very unpleasant conversation with his High Councilor, one he is definitely not looking forward to having.

“Good,” A-Sang says, “We must get our hands on this list. See? We are making progress. Where are we now? Ah, yes. Day four. The day I was almost killed.”

Wei Ying is pretty sure that he is managing to look sufficiently contrite. Jiang Cheng only looks drunk and disgruntled.

“The Jin Sect tries to blame the assassination attempt on the Lan Sect. Lan QiRen reveals a note warning him to remove the Young Masters from the Immortal Mountain. A note that was placed in the Peach Blossom Pavilion before their arrival. Wei Ying cannot seem to keep away from Lan WangJi, even at the cost of ruining his virtue and good name--“ A-Sang points his fan at Wei Ying’s half-opened mouth, “and I am specifically speaking of Lan WangJi’s virtue and good name, because Heavens know you have none.”

Jiang Cheng chokes on the wine, adding more stains to the already ruined Imperial robes.

“Anyway,” A-Sang says, snatching the jar back, “this brings us to day five. Which is today.”

Jiang Cheng drops his forehead onto the table, “These have been the longest five days of my life.”

“Hey,” A-Sang snaps, whacking him on the back of the head with his fan, “Has anyone tried to kill you? No? Then stop complaining.”

Jiang Cheng half-heartedly pushes the fan away, but does not lift his head.

“Day five,” A-Sang repeats, “This faithful subject bears the agony of a deadly, grievous wound, obtained in the service to the Emperor, to take control of the situation. Two traps are set in motion. The first is set in the Imperial Gardens, the second in the North Watchtower. If the assassin has connections among the major sects, he should have fallen into the first trap. If he has connections among the smaller sects, he should have fallen into the second. If he has eyes and ears among those we explicitly trust, he should have gone after Wei Ying. But instead, the assassin opts to kill Lan QiRen.”

“So the assassin does not belong to any of the sects,” Wei Ying says, “otherwise, he would have walked into one of the traps.”

“Not true,” A-Sang says, his voice hardening, “it is also possible that the assassin saw three targets as clearly as we had presented them, and having no way to discern which one was real, had simply decided on the fourth. We also now know where his priorities lie. I no longer believe that the purpose of the second assassination attempt was to kill the Emperor. I think it was only meant to frame the Lan Sect for his murder, which would have been a death sentence in itself.”

Jiang Cheng lifts his head, “You think all of this is just-- to kill the Lan Sect? Why? Why would someone go through so much trouble to kill them?”

A-Sang does not have an answer to that.

“Any words from the Wen Sect?” he asks instead, and Wei Ying shakes his head.

His own message had gone out to Wen RuoHan only a day ago; it is much too soon for a response.

He takes the jar back from A-Sang, but finds it empty, and fumbles around for the last full one, still stashed underneath the table.

“Lan QiRen probably hates me even more now,” he grumbles, “I will be lucky if he still allows Lan Zhan to marry me after this debacle.”

The wine tastes less bitter now. He cannot tell if the stench of burning has grown less, or if he is finally too drunk to notice. He offers Jiang Cheng the jar, only to find Jiang Cheng staring at him with a wide, incredulous gaze, devoid of the earlier drunkenness.

“What?” Wei Ying says.

“Repeat what you just said,” A-Sang says slowly, his voice careful.

Wei Ying blinks at him and thinks back. His head is swimming a little bit, but he is not yet so drunk that he should be speaking nonsense.

“What?”

“Before that,” A-Sang says.

“Lan QiRen hates me? He will probably refuse to--“ Wei Ying chokes slightly, “--Oh. Erm. I-- we did not speak of this yet, have we?”

“You intending to marry?” A-Sang says sweetly, snapping his fan open, “No. It seems you had forgotten to mention that little detail. To me. Your Royal Companion.”

“Or me,” Jiang Cheng growls.

“Uh, this--” Wei Ying fumbles, “there were-- other things? You were nearly killed! I was-- uh-- distracted?”

“But not too distracted to decide to marry.”

“You have known him for five days!” Jiang Cheng bursts out.

“Hey!” Wei Ying snaps back, “These have been-- very long five days! You said so yourself!”

“Who else knows?” A-Sang asks.

Wei Ying wishes that A-Sang would yell at him. At least then, this may actually be a little less awkward, and he may feel a little less guilty.

“No one,” he says quickly, “only Lan QiRen.”

“Lan WangJi does not know? You have not asked him?”

“No, I-- I thought I should speak to his uncle first. It is the proper thing to do.”

“The proper thing to do,” A-Sang repeats.

“Yes,” Wei Ying says, feeling defensive, “Lan Zhan loves his uncle. If Lan QiRen disapproved, Lan Zhan would never agree.”

“You cannot just-- go around asking people to marry you!” Jiang Cheng exclaims, “You idiot! There are rules! Traditions! People who must be informed ahead of time! The Council--!“

“I am not going to ask the Council for an approval to marry,” Wei Ying snaps, indignant, “Lan Zan is the Second Young Master of the Gusu Lan Sect, not some farmer I picked up in YiLing.”

“He is the Second Young Master of the Gusu Lan Sect!” Jiang Cheng shouts loud enough to make A-Sang flinch, “The Lan Sect! Do not play stupid about this!”

“I am the Emperor!” Wei Ying thunders, “I make the rules and the traditions! The Council exists because I allow it to exist!”

The empty wine jar flies across the room and shatters on the door frame, making them both flinch.

A-Sang closes his fan.

“Are you both done?” he asks.

Jiang Cheng opens his mouth, but closes it when A-Sang turns to him with raised eyebrows.

Wei Ying, who knows better, remains quiet.

There is a short, uncomfortable silence, interrupted only by A-Sang’s fan tapping on the table. Finally he sighs.

“We have leverage to use against the Council. Admittedly, I never thought to use it in this way, but it will certainly not be a waste if you are determined to marry him.”

“I am,” Wei Ying says immediately.

Jiang Cheng opens his mouth again, but A-Sang smacks his knuckles with the fan, silencing him, “Shut up. Use your head. If the Emperor marries a Second Young Master of a traitor sect, this sets a precedent. One that you, in particular, might find useful.”

Jiang Cheng splutters, his face turning red.

“Can this wait until we have caught the assassin?” A-Sang asks.

Wei Ying squirms, “I did try to speak to him in YiLing, but I may not have made myself as clear as I should have, so-- if I do not ask him to marry me, he is likely to assume that I do not have honorable intentions. Towards him. In the future.”

“You are so stupid,” Jiang Cheng mutters, squeezing his eyes shut.

“A-Cheng is right,” A-Sang says, “You have been very stupid about this. You should have come to me first, before talking to Lan QiRen.”

“In my defense,” Wei Ying says, “I did not plan to speak to Lan QiRen when I did, it just-- happened.”

Jiang Cheng groans, turning to A-Sang, “How is he the Emperor? How?”

“The Heavens watch out for the idiots, because the rest of us can watch out for ourselves,” A-Sang says promptly.

“Okay,” Wei Ying says, “Okay. Can we, just-- move past this?”

“No,” A-Sang says, “I am fairly certain that we will speak of nothing else but your stupidity for the remainder of the night.”

“Fine,” Wei Ying says, getting up, “I am going to find Lan Zhan. You know, the man I am going to marry. Who does not think I am stupid.”

“Would you like to place a wager on that?” Jiang Cheng mutters, and A-Sang smacks his knuckles again.

“I want the list of the Jin Sect disciples first thing in the morning,” A-Sang reminds him.

Wei Ying flaps his hand in acknowledgment. He is a little unsteady, but manages to find the door without too much fumbling.

Jiang Cheng’s voice follows him out, “Try and not piss in any flower pots!”

#the untamed #cql #mdzs #ficlet #m #wwx emperor au #long chapter in which nothing much happens #except that wei ying is stupid #this chapter is clumsy af #but if i keep rewriting it it'll never get posted #and we gotta move on #anyway #thank you for all the nice messages and tags and comments #ily chickens

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