#its also a personal choice for the person to try and be kinder and treat others better or not

[godsfavoritescientist]

Personally I don't trust the Axolotl. A mysterious cosmic *apparently*-loving-and-understanding being who almost never interferes with the happenings of the multiverse, who has power to set the terms of when someone is "absolved of their crime?" Sounding a little too much like the kind of god I was told about in christian sunday school if you ask me 🤨

[divine-donna]

Hello there :) please could i request House of the dragon headcanons where they fall in love with Viserys’s adopted daughter who has had a dragon since birth and is a warrior 💙

hi! yes you may. however, i am making a few changes to your request if that is alright.

the first is that "daughter" will simply be changed to "child." a daughter implies a female reader and i don't believe a female reader is necessary. i want everyone to be able to read my work! however, i will be saying that (y/n) is perceived to be more feminine than their peers (if that makes sense).

the second thing is that "adopted child" will simply be "person viewed as an honorary child." idk if this may just be me, but i am not a fan of incest. and yes, it's inherently part of the show. that does not mean i'm going to write it. personally, i just don't want to do that. i did not state in my rules that i don't write for incest because i did not think it will come up. however, from now on, incest is always off the table with me. there are plenty of writers willing to go the extra mile. i'm just not one of them.

there is no debate here about if (y/n) being viserys's adopted child would make it technically not incest if certain characters fell in love with them. it's just incest, point blank.

anyways, sorry for the lengthy note. we'll dive right into it!

(y/n)’s backstory

the child to a dragonkeeper and a maidservant, you were born amidst unexpected circumstances. as a winter storm raged outside, you came into the world, fighting with as much might as possible with your little heart. perhaps it was a sign from the gods that you were destined for greatness, but none could tell. until that dragon egg your father was watching over hatched and bonded itself to you.

it was a strange occurrance, something sure to never happen again. but when told of this, king viserys took it as a sign that you were meant to be great. and so, instead of trying to put out your flames, he fanned them. you were raised to be a dragonkeeper, yes, but were also trained alongside his children. and in the process, you became a skilled warrior despite the conception that you were meant to be nothing more than a dragonkeeper and an avid watcher of tourneys rather than a participant.

the dragon that hatched from the egg you named viserion. to be fair, it wasn’t your choice to name your dragon viserion. you wanted to name it after a braavosi figure who you adored and idolized, partially because your family originally hailed from braavos prior to their migration to westeros. viserion was named in honor of the king. however, despite viserion being a masculine name, it was unknown if your dragon was male or female to others. only you knew but such trivial matters did not concern you.

viserion was a dragon that eventually grew to the size of syrax. a beautiful dragon, it was off white with a tint of pink within its scales and dark eyes. it was an aggressive dragon, one that only listened to you. even so, sometimes you had trouble giving viserion commands. weirdly enough though, viserion was very fond of vhagar. it reminded you very much of a young puppy playing with a much older, more tired hound.

ser criston cole

a someone seen with the same status as rhaenyra and aegon, criston knew that falling in love with you was wrong. it was wrong for him, a common man, to fall in love with someone perceived as highborn. and it was wrong because of his oath as a member of the kingsguard. and yet, the more he attempted to push his desires away, the stronger they came back towards him. he treated you with such contempt that you were convinced he hated you. the man would go out of his way to avoid you, if possible. it wasn’t until you confronted him about it, late at night, that he apologized for his behavior. alicent decided to slap some sense into his head. and while it does not excuse his behavior, at least he apologizes. and you know he meant it, because he became softer, nicer, kinder. and soon, you found yourself asking him to come take a ride with you on viserion, head to the vale for a diplomatic mission. and maybe he was a little more than eager to want to become your sworn protector even though you didn’t need one.

“i must apologize for my rude behavior, (y/n). it was not my intention to be aloof. i simply...have feelings for you. and these feelings are unbecoming for a man such as myself.”

daemon targaryen

daemon’s always liked challenges. when you entered into his brother’s court, he didn’t expect much of you. sure, a dragon had hatched and bonded itself with you. but to him, it was nothing special. he doesn’t pay any attention to you at all. not until years later when you participate in a tourney. you carry no flag, for you are of a much lower birth than the nobles you fight alongside. but when you knock daemon off his horse and then beat him in a trial by combat, he can’t help but feel his heart quicken. your sword almost pierced his head, stabbed next to it into the ground. yield. is what you told him. or would you prefer to become dragon feed? a strong warrior you were, he decided to seek after you. you had a small interest in the rogue prince but what really attracted you to him was how he treated you as an equal, as a capable fighter. perhaps because you had already proven yourself. either way, daemon has a thing for people with strength. defeating someone at a tourney in front of hundreds of viewers is the perfect way to get him to fall in love with you. even if it wasn’t on purpose.

“it’s not often that a warrior can defeat me. the last time it happened was with ser criston cole. tell me, little one, how did you do it? why even bother to let me live after knocking me down into the dirt?”

rhaenyra targaryen

rhaenyra very much admired you from the moment she met you. it did not matter your lowborn status. what mattered is that you rode a dragon. and therefore, you could ride with her. alicent preferred to stay on the ground. but with you? rhaenyra was free to go as high as she wanted and you would follow suit as a fellow adrenaline chaser. forget your duties and your lessons. you wanted to cross the narrow sea with rhaenyra and eat only cake. it was so easy for her to fall in love with you. she loved the way you nuzzled up to viserion, the way you smiled as viserion dove downwards through the clouds, the way syrax was always happy to see you. there were other things too, like the way you fiddled with your fingers when you were nervous or how you and her would have secret conversations in high valyrian. the way you swung your sword was effortless and with precision and grace. however, you were bound to your duty and firmly rejected her advances when you both were young. she understood, despite the shattering of her heart. rhaenyra expected you to side with her former best friend when the war of succession came around, as you were bound to the hightowers by an oath you promised to king viserys. and yet, viserion landed on the beaches of dragonstone with you on its back. and she was joyful because after all these years, she never fell out of love. only deeper.

“it has been years since i last saw your face and yet, i still remember vividly how you laugh. perhaps one can say i am sick with love. but i can never forget the first of them.”

alicent hightower

despite your lowborn status, the mere fact that you possessed a dragon mount made alicent view you as a deity, someone untouched by regular people. and yet, despite that untouchable status, she never stopped thinking about you, wanting to touch you. she was courteous when you were young, but she was cold. you did not think much of her, not until after she married viserys. it was a shock to you, much like how it was a shock to rhaenyra. and it was only until then did the two of you begin to interact more. it was how alicent got to know the real you. you would sit and listen to her laments, how she felt utterly destroyed by her sense of duty. you were all too familiar with that. despite all the good that came from your status, you wished you had stayed as a mere dragonkeeper. being...more was tiring, exhausting. and after taking care of her children, the two of you would lay by the godswood together, soaking in each other’s presence. and when the war of succession came, you bent the knee to aegon, second of his name. but not for him. no, you firmly believed aegon to be a rotten man, someone undeserving of alicent’s care and love. you bent the knee for her and it wasn’t until you bowed before her son that she realized how deeply in love with you she truly was.

“my family demands things of me. they are my duties. there is only one person who doesn’t demand from me (y/n), who has treated me with kindness. and that is you! i’ve been such a fool to ignore how i truly feel! and with you at my side, i feel not only powerful, but loved.”

aegon targaryen

aegon has always resented you. you were viewed as viserys’s unofficial other child. and at every turn, he was being compared to you despite the fact that you were younger than him! you always did what you were told, followed your duties. best of all, you were a talented warrior and dragonrider and were sober. all the time. it just made him hate himself even more. aegon was always cruel to you, much like how he was cruel to others. and what annoyed him the most was that you were nonchalant about it. you didn’t care. and in a way, you proved to him exactly how others felt about him. of course, that wasn’t the case. many, many times you dragged aegon back to the red keep after he got drunk too much or carried him back to his room. there was one time where you bathed him because his clothes were just dirty (and frankly, he smelled a little funky). he made leecherous jokes to you, called you cruel names. and yet, you sat there, sponging him down with warm water and scrubbing so hard his skin was red. and it was then he broke down. he didn’t want to open up. it was word vomit. but you sat and listened and said something so unexpected: i understand. how could you understand? and when he asked that, you simply told him that your duties feel too much to bear but you wanted to give your parents a comfortable life. he learned that night, as you dried him and dressed him, that you were like him. exactly like him. maybe not on the surface, but deep down you both were the same. and when he sobered up, he approached you to apologize. aegon has never really apologized so sincerely to someone. and yet, for you, he did. perhaps that should have been the first sign that he had fallen in love.

“you infuriate me because you represent everything i should be. and i cannot be everything you are! perhaps it is unfair to resent you to a certain extent. but i cannot bear the weight of pressure from your existence alone!”

aemond targaryen

aemond likes a warrior. he likes someone who will be on an equal playing field with him. as a child, he admired your skills even though they weren’t fully developed. after all, you had just come into court. and he didn’t know viserion was your dragon, foolishly attempting to bond with it. of course, the tips of his hair got burnt to a crisp. you simply grabbed a pair of scissors and trimmed his hair so his mother wouldn’t scold him for having gone back to the dragonpit. but despite the niceties, part of aemond resented you. because, honestly, how can a lowborn such as yourself be bonded with a dragon before him? a targaryen prince? the idea was so preposturous! it led to a weird hot and cold relationship with him. sometimes, aemond would be kind and open up to you. other times, he was cold, distant, and even short-tempered. you didn’t bully him. in fact, you got a bit of revenge on aegon for the pig prank he pulled. you were on his side. or at least, you desperately wanted to be. he just refused you at every turn. and then, he claims vhagar. vhagar, the biggest dragon. it was no surprise to you that aemond became quite arrogant, constantly bringing up how much bigger vhagar was to viserion. you did not care. and he hated how you didn’t care. you dare ignore him after he has successfully bonded with the biggest dragon? of course you didn’t care. it did, however, mean having to spend more time with aemond. because viserion loved playing with her. she looked very tired whenever it was around but had a fondness for viserion all the same. and as you grew older, you let yourself fall into aemond’s shadow. it was nice to sit back and not have to deal with expectations. after all, you already defied them when you were younger. and yet, after all these years and all the spotlight, aemond still aimed to oneup you. you made a jest towards him when he challenged you to a race on your dragons. you must be in love with me to keep egging me on for a race or a challenge. of course, he firmly denied the statement. but when he returned to his room and sat in a chair, it slowly dawned on him that maybe his admiration from long ago had evolved into something deeper.

“helaena, i fear i have let my ambition get the best of me. i have been meaning to prove myself to (y/n) for years. and yet, they don’t seem to care. and their jest today...perhaps i am sick with love.”

helaena targaryen

amongst the children with valyrian silver hair, you were an outsider. their hands, soft and smooth, were a stark comparison to yours which were rough and calloused from years of working in the dragonpit. you felt like an outsider. you didn’t talk like them, didn’t act like them, didn’t have the same manners. you may have been better at speaking high valyrian, but they trumped you in everything else. you were an outsider, someone unwelcomed by the other members at court. so you found yourself feeling lonely. that is, until one day while resting at the godswood, a gentle voice tells you not to move. you open your eyes, watching as the princess helaena gently urges the large spider to leave your body for her hand. and once it is off, she sits besides you, watching it move and make her hand its temporary safe place. helaena understands what it’s like to be alone, to be tormented and talked about behind doors. despite being born as royalty, she was treated as a peculiar woman. aegon especially did not spare her from his cruel remarks. so you found comfort with helaena. she was easy to talk to and understood what you meant when you talked. she did not think of you beyond a platonic sense. and it wasn’t until you both were much older did you reveal how you truly feel to the princess of the targaryen dynasty. the spark she felt inside of her when you kissed her, gently and tenderly, with so much love that it felt...unnatural. and she kissed you back as proof that she reciprocated your love.

“people are...fickle. but you, (y/n), are not. there is no one else i can think of that would hold me like you hold me, kiss me like how you kiss me, listen to me like how you listen. you are one in a million and i am grateful to the gods that you are mine.”

jacaerys velaryon

many people proclaimed you a bastard, a bastard king viserys. they cited your hair and eyes, which were passed onto you through your mother. you were clearly your mother’s child. many people presumed that viserys was your father because he brought you into court. part of you wishes that he didn’t. your life was comfortable, yes. but were such luxuries worth the constant chatter of your bastardy? many people, but especially otto and alicent hightower and her sons, loathed your existence. you were never welcome within them and aemond went out of his way to torment you (clearly as an outlet, which you don’t blame him for necessarily). there was someone who understood the insults well and was familiar with them: jacaerys, the first born son of princess rhaenyra. his bastardy was claimed always, lacking the signature silver valyrian hair. of course, his bastardy is true. but he understands the pain and loneliness. and one night, he unexpectedly visits you in your room with cakes and wine, asking if you would want to talk over some snacks. you let out everything, how much it hurts to hear that king viserys might be your father when that was nothing but false. the two of you have more in common than you initially thought. nevertheless, you are very happy to have someone you can lean on. it is only from there do you grow closer, training together, dancing together. it just clicks in his head one day as the two of you dance silently in his room. the way you move, your smile, and your gaze of love. he felt his heart quicken in pace and that feeling known as love began to creep up within him. and he just acted upon it without a second thought.

“(y/n), this may be sudden, but i want to ask if you would like to come to dragonstone with me. we leave on the morrow. king’s landing...you don’t belong here. i don’t belong here. we don’t belong here. so please, come to dragonstone with me. i assure you, swear to you, that you belong with me, with us, at our ancestral seat. you may not be a child of the targaryen dynasty, but you are a dragonrider and you belong with us.”

[mellowwhumps]

oc introductions!

heyo! now that i’m finally done with june of doom (which was meant to serve as a basic version of this) here’s all my oc introductions! i cannot for the life of me make it sound interesting but hopefully my future content compensates for that…roles are listed from least to most!

this is also the official announcement that i will be participating in @/whump-kia ‘s whumperless whump event!!! or at least half of it because i don’t think i’ll finish in time (artfight once again remains my priority for july i fear….) i’ll still try though

i’ll make picrews or coloured references like literally any normal creator. someday. soon. (lies)

side note: their personalities do change a lot between AUs since yknow. choices influence actions so yeah!! same yet different love that…as another side not everything i tag as simply “AU'' is just the main one i usually use since that’s the most developed

i really recommend checking their toyhouses since it goes into a lot more detail :3

haley !! 

toyhouse

quotelist + more in elowen’s quotelist

roles: whumpee-whumper (ex), caretaker

my scrunkly scrimblo…in a way i’d describe him as half living weapon. why half you may ask? because for the first half of his life he was treated as a human and then abruptly in the second half it just. changed. no more nice words. conflict between his ‘home’ and a neighbouring kingdom peaks, war comes, everything ends, though i mostly don’t focus on the war part haha. this guy knows he’s meant to be wielded and used, but just how much of a weapon is he? 

personality wise, he’s not a talker. despite his generally serious demeanour, he’s a much nicer person to be with than the one who raised him, caring about others because he thinks the world should just be kinder, and maybe if he cares enough he can repent for it all.

for the most part he shifts personalities quite widely between aus…

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halcyon !!

toyhouse (unfinished)

roles: whumpee (ex), caretaker

from the aforementioned neighbouring kingdom! she serves the queen as the captain of the royal knights, yknow the drill, there’s war and they started it. she’s the type of person who believes in what’s right but also won’t hesitate to rethink if her beliefs are wrong. her story is mostly about dealing with all the hard stuff like Feelings and the Aftermath because nobody likes doing that ew.

she’s trying her best. i respect this behaviour

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elowen !!

toyhouse (but i only have it for his AU)

quotelist

roles: caretaker turned (reluctant) whumper mostly but no fixed role

the guy that took haley in yeah. he cares. a lot. but sometimes his job matters more. he’s mostly there to drive the plot and then he literally just. dies. but that’s not the end is it? he lives on in haley’s memories, forever an enigma. their relationship is so complicated i wouldn’t do it justice in a short introduction…he’s alive and well in the AU and very relevant though

yes his intentions are good. yes he’s coping with it in the only way he knows how. he does genuinely care. he unwavers in his belief that he wants to give everyone a better life, wants to help more people than he possibly ever could. unfortunately, every decision has its downsides.

——————

ria !!

toyhouse

roles: whumpee (mostly emotionally i swear)

look. okay. i get to use at least one child for my found family agenda. once again i focus on the aftermath rather than anything else so it's mostly emotional whump

rogue. gremlin. she bites (sometimes) (affectionately) but she’s just dealing with how she simply is. she’s like the glue holding it all together as best as she possibly can, because she can’t even come close to understanding how bad it all was and sometimes that’s just better. can and will go through the five stages of grief before admitting that she cares and actually isn’t as independent as she thinks she is.

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twelve !!

toyhouse

quotelist

roles: whumpee

verrill and them are from a completely different universe than above^^ (some of my ocs were previously from their home city though) 

honestly their story is just based off one of my favourite dystopian literatures but i change it up a little! sorry their quotelist paints them as such a romantic because i sourced most of them when i was obsessed with their crackship…anyway!! damn this guy (gender neutral) can hold so much trauma with photographic memory that’s literally out for war with them

i think the best way to describe them would be dull exterior colourful interior! they hold so much hope in them…no 1 hurt/comfort extraordinaire

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verrill !!

toyhouse

quotelist

roles: whumpee/caretaker, pretty balanced

he's an adult he just has chronic babyface from my artstyle rip

the catalyst and the end of it all…this guy has Problems and refuses to deal with them. first attempt at a morally grey character, i suppose? extremely loyal, extremely caring, but only if it’s in his preference. loves playing hero but hates playing hero. walking contradiction. he cannot be described in a few words. he simply cannot.

——————

roles of other characters that might be mentioned (once again, least to most):

mc/emmei: caretaker

naeri: whumpee (90% emotionally) but really just there to drive the story. may/may not use her

frances (not mine): caretaker, whumpee

cerilux (previously unnamed character no 2): (whumpee), caretaker

unnamed character: “caretaker”, whumper

——————

misc. 

+ more later? who knows

oc asks

BECAUSE I WAS TOO SHY TO ASK PEOPLE TO. ASK. SO I JUST DID NEARLY EVERYTHING (please look at this to find out more i spent so much time on this it’s kinda insane) (still unfinished with spontaneous updates because i do whatever i want)

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anddd that’s it!! thank you for scrolling!! may or may not be extra ocs or content added later on but for now this is my final cast; feel free to send in whatever, whenever! prompts questions musings anything really 💥 please i get so happy if it wasn’t obvious enough by me maxxing out reblog tag limits for things i love pleasepleasepl

[irl]

like i been thnkn abt that anon n tht poem n stuff n lik idk man

its jus a culmination of my life n my choices n i honestly n truly n jus?? genuinely believe its how ppl shld behave n its actually rly baffling to me whn people dont and its hard to wrap my head arnd the justifications. and even then im learning more and more every day. like it never stops ykno?? im gonna look back at todays me a year from now n b like man.. im glad i grew from those things

ive been treated in my life with such. despairing inhumanity. from people i loved and from people i didnt even know. ive seen and experienced so many horrible awful things that if i wrote a book, people might want to toss it in the fiction section, ykno?? like. its just been a lot, and its been deeply wounding, literally all my life almost. it wasnt until the past couple yrs that i even started to get to more stable situations and learn how to breathe and exist as a human

and when i was trying to learn how to be an actual real human? as a 24 year old adult? basing myself off of all of my life experience? i was left with basically 2 options

1. wallow, the world has hurt me for a quarter of a century, i cant find it in me to trust anything or anyone, and im going to make it everyone elses problem because why shouldnt i, i deserve it. this is what a lot of people do when they get to this place. it started when i found out my dad died because of government and capital greed, and hell, just last year i had lit cigarette butts thrown at my face constantly and was hatecrimed twice in less than 8 months along with everything else. i deserve to reflect that back

2. learn how to live and be kind. the world hurt me for a quarter of a century, but also i survived it and it wasnt without help. even if i was in the trenches, i still met wonderful people who helped to lift me out sometimes. why not become that person for everyone else? humanity is at our core, and there are people worth fighting for because my love for them is worth fighting for. i deserve to reflect that back

my fight to be better for myself and be better for the people around me has been an ongoing one! its always filled with learning and figuring things out! and i will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!! make mistakes. and so will you. ive been fighting for this since i realized i deserved to be treated better when i was like 20 or smth n started the actual work to try and get better

i wasnt always a good person, and even good people have bad moments. but you learn, youll always be learning. im always learning how to be kinder and gentler to the world, and fighting for what i believe in

my aim will always be to fight to help, i want to help, i want to be able to support.

[themardlonk]

I just finished reading the books and I've come to the conclusion that I actually really like that Sam married Rosie and Frodo left? 

Before reading the books, the ending to ROTK used to lowkey upset me, because Sam and Frodo love tf out of each other! But Frodo leaves and Sam stays behind to get married to someone we don't know and is happy in the Shire without Frodo?? It bugged me. But after reading the books, I've come to the realization that in order for them to get the happy endings they deserve, Frodo needs to leave and Sam needs to stay. And Sam's life with Rosie is essential to his happy ending and completed character arc and is entirely separate from Frodo and Sam's love for one another. The reasons behind why I think their endings are perfect for them have to do with autonomy and the difference between choices made selflessly vs. choices made in self interest.

TLDR; Frodo and Sam’s endings are perfect for them (imo) because they get to choose them for themselves. Both hobbits spend the entire trilogy sacrificing everything they are for the Good of Middle Earth. Frodo leaving is The Good Ending for him because he is suffering the traumatic effects of the Ring; Frodo isn’t happy in the Shire and chooses an adventure of his own to Valinor so that he can heal. Sam staying and getting married and becoming part of the community is The Good Ending for him because he is invested in the Shire; from the moment he returns to the Shire, he chooses to pour his time and love into its restoration and abundance. Sam is a gardener and he chooses the Shire because it brings him happiness, but Frodo can’t find happiness there and so chooses to leave because that’s what’s best for him. (And then eventually, after Sam’s lived his happy ending in the Shire, he sails to Valinor to live with Frodo, and they both get that happy ending, too.)

There’s a little mini essay on Frodo and Sam that I put under the cut because it’s just me rambling, but if I didn’t make my reasoning clear enough above, it might clear it up. (Forewarning: These notes are probably uncoordinated af, because they were jotted down in my phone while I sat on the floor of my kitchen for 3 hours in a feverish ADHD-med-fueled determination to wrap my head around the LOTR ending.)

Frodo and Sam have the same goal (destroy the Ring), but their jobs differ. Frodo is tasked with the actual job of carrying the Ring (the metaphorical weight of the world) to Mordor. On top of physical, Frodo suffers through enormous mental and spiritual anguish to complete this task. Sam, meanwhile is tasked with protecting the Ring Bearer, and every decision he makes is in Frodo's best interest before anything else. He handles the Ring very little and his suffering is mainly physical, but he spends the entire time as Frodo's second, and defers to Frodo's choices and well-being above his own the entire time.

When they return home to the Shire, of the two of them, it's Sam who takes the lead in the resistance against Saruman. Afterward, it's Sam who spreads the dirt and plants the mallorn from Galadriel. It's Sam who takes an active role in saving and restoring the Shire. Of the four hobbits, I noticed that Frodo seems to be the one most affected by the Scouring of the Shire. While they're all affected, Frodo is the only one who doesn't actively start rallying troops and planning attacks. Instead, he takes on advisory duties and then withdraws as soon as he is able.

All four hobbits come back physically changed, but the book makes it pretty plain that on top of this, Frodo is also experiencing chronic PTSD, depression, and withdrawal from the Ring. Frodo isn't completely present in his life because he's trying to cope. He tries to be there for Sam, he even lets Sam and Rosie move in with him after they marry, but on the whole, Frodo is really, really sick.

Sam explicitly states that he loves Frodo, and he tries to be there for Frodo through Frodo's sickness. But unlike the trek to Mordor, there's really only so much Sam can do for him. I think Frodo is aware of this, and it's why he encourages Sam to actively pursue happiness (Rosie, a home, a family, social standing, etc.). Frodo loves Sam and wants him to have the happy ending that Sam wants, but Frodo can only give so much of himself as he is currently. Sam is in love with the Shire, but Frodo's happy ending isn't in the Shire. He's not happy there, and Sam is. Frodo can't give Sam what he needs, and vice versa. They have a conversation about this in "The Grey Havens" chapter. Frodo asks if Sam would be willing to travel with him, and Sam says of course, but that he can't go too far from the Shire. They love each other, but their needs are different, now. Frodo needs help with trauma recovery, and he can't stay in the Shire, but he's also not going to ask Sam to leave it behind to be with him while he recovers. Frodo doesn't need Sam to go with him, and he actually kinda needs to do this himself. And it's really important to Sam's character arc that Sam says he wants to stay.

Sam's life with Rosie is essential to his happy ending and completed character arc. Sam spends the entirety of the books looking after Frodo, caring for him, risking his life for him, and making sure they both go "There and Back Again." For 15(ish) months, Sam is on constant Frodo Protection Duty, and looking at how Sam addresses him and treats him beforehand and during the journey, Sam has honestly probably deferred to Frodo his entire life. But in order for Sam to really complete his character arc, he needs to choose his future for himself. When they get back to the Shire, he begins the process of self actualization, and Frodo helps it along. On the topic of Rosie, it doesn't matter that Sam marries HER necessarily, but it does matter that he settles down and gets to live a quiet life of gardening and family and community, because that's what he WANTS. And it's important that he himself chooses it, independently of anyone else's well-being.

For Frodo, it's both very similar and the exact opposite. He spends the journey to Mount Doom inside his head, facing things he can't physically fight, and he has to lean on Sam the entire way. Frodo DOES make the choice to take the Ring to Rivendell, and then to Mordor. It could be argued that every step he takes toward Mordor is a choice, but it's never his personal choice. It's a choice between Good and Evil. From the very beginning when Bilbo leaves him the Ring to a year later when he finally returns to the Shire, Frodo's one and only choice is the big picture question: Will you choose Good or Evil? Will you give up, or will you continue to put your mind and body through intense trauma so that your entire world doesn't burn? They're both terrible options, but they're the only ones he's given, and both are detrimental to him personally.

When Frodo returns to the Shire, he could go back to living quietly there for the rest of his life, and he actually does try to do that for a little while. But he has choices available to him now, and it quickly becomes clear to him that he's not happy there. He's been changed so much by the Ring and the experiences he's been through and the wider world around him that his journey can't end in the Shire. It's impossible for him pick up where he left off, because he's not that same hobbit anymore. He's unhappy and unhealthy playing that role, and it would be antithetical to his journey and the opposite of character growth. For Frodo, his happy ending looks like trauma recovery and a kinder adventure that he gets to choose for himself, and that's why Valinor is such a good ending for him.

Before he leaves, Frodo does as much as he can to put the Shire to rights and set Sam up to live his happy ending (he INVITES Sam to live in HIS HOUSE, did I mention that? I love them), and then Frodo leaves for Valinor to heal and find his own happy ending. And he gets it. He does heal, and after he's much recovered, Sam comes to live with him after he himself has lived a full happy life in the Shire.

OTHER (other) THOUGHTS:

(((This ending also makes sense, because if Frodo can't live happily in the Shire after going on a huge journey to save it, SOMEBODY better.)))

I also think it's nice that Sam and Rosie get to be in love, and that Sam is allowed to love multiple people. And I think it's lovely that his love for Frodo is not diminished in any way by his love for Rosie. "You're allowed to love multiple people deeply in your life, and that love is not made lesser because it's being given to multiple people" is SUCH a good message.

[sophiamcdougall]

So, there’s something I think is missing from the Booker Discourse and the focus on anger vs forgiveness, and whether Booker’s “punishment” is too harsh and who’s responsible if so, and its absence is beginning to slightly disturb me and it’s this: They don’t punish Booker. At all. 

No, really.

It’s one of the things I really like about the film -- how compassionately it treats Booker, both on a narrative and on an inter-character level. In most genre films wrongs against the good guys are usually settled with riproaring vengeance, even if in some the hero conveniently gets not to be the one to enact it directly.  But in the moment Booker’s betrayal becomes clear, character beats we have taken for mere melancholy click into place as heartwrenching grief and suicidal depression. We’re encouraged to grieve for him. We see Andy and Nile’s empathy for him. We see Nicky urging Joe to stop shouting at him even before they yet have any hope of escape. We don’t see a  moment of explicit compassion/restraint from Joe, but he does instantly put aside his anger to accept Andy’s decision that Booker’s coming with them, and does nothing to sabotage that choice. (In fact, it’s unthinkable that he would, but in plenty of action films it wouldn’t be.) And I agree with some of the arguments I’ve recently seen – the intensity of Joe’s fury isn’t necessarily a measure of how long it would last.

And then, as I say, they don’t punish him.

They don’t beat him up. They don’t work off steam killing and re-killing him. They don’t leave him for Kosak, or for the police. Of course they’d never do a full Quynh on him but putting him a box for ... a year? Six months? A week? It would be an option. They don’t do that, either.   

They simply stop hanging out with him. And they have the extraordinary grace to promise this won’t be permanent. And Andy, whom he shot in the back, sees him off with a goodbye hug.

I’m seeing a lot of debate about whether Joe (hotheaded, passionate) vs Nicky (still waters run deep) is The Angry One and which one of them might, by contrast, have been totally fine letting Booker back into the group immediately. I think you can plausibly headcanon the first part of that various ways. Personally I think Nicky would take a more severe line than Joe, although, as I’m about to argue, I don’t think that necessarily has to mean he’s “angrier”.)

What I don’t think you can plausibly headcanon is that either would actually be “fine” taking Booker back immediately, or any time soon.

Now I want to preface this with pointing out that anger is a completely natural and appropriate response to being hurt and whoever is The Angry One out of Nicky and Joe, has every right to that feeling. And to be fair I don’t think that’s really being disputed. But there does seem to be the idea that The Situation  – Anger = Everything’s Fine Now! And I do think it’s slightly ... victim-blamey, like the barrier to HEA isn’t what Booker did, it’s how long the people he hurt retain one specific emotion about it.  Whoever’s angriest is being staggeringly generous to Booker, and the result is 100% compatible with their not being “angry” at all. It’s compatible with “forgiveness” having already taken place. Just for a minute imagine writing to ... Captain Awkward, or Dear Prudence or Reddit Relationships. And explaining that your friend placed you in the power of people who wanted to hurt you, deliberately exposed you to very serious danger and your worst personal fear, and caused you to watch your partner trapped and in pain for somewhere in the ballpark of 48 hours ...  BUT, he is going through some very bad shit, guys, and you really do feel for him. Imagine what the response would be.  (”My friend wanted to commit suicide-by-cop, so he planted weed/guns in the car with me and my husband in it and called the police, although he knows we both have a particular phobia of cops after what happened to another friend who was arrested a while back. Oh and he attacked our other friend, because he wanted to be totally sure the cops would come for him, but he only meant to knock her out not to nearly kill her and he’s depressed and very sorry. I still want to put our friendship on a break. AITA?”)  They would yell at you to oh my god get away from him WTF how is this even a question please get some therapy learn to love yourself. 

And if you repeated that he’s really sad! And it went down worse than he thought it would! And you don’t want to hurt him! they would yell that it’s not about hurting him it’s about protecting you.   Just ... think about it. Imagine you’re either Joe or Nicky. Assume your anger has already completely evaporated, whether you think that’s in-character or not, and imagine you feel truly sorry for Booker. Take the most generous stance on what he did that you can. Fine. But every time you turn your back on him, or see him go off on a mission alone with one of the others ... how do you feel? Even if you don’t think he’d actually do this again, do you feel safe? 

 And imagine trying to recover from the trauma of what just happened to you. Imagine how much it would help to take refuge in all the soft, “family” touches which were also such a refreshing distinguishing feature of this film. Gift exchanges and bets and TV and hugs. Imagine trying to do that with the person who put you through it right. there.

 Nicky and/or Joe could honestly wish Booker no suffering at all, nothing but recovery and healing and peace, and Booker would still be a walking PTSD trigger and working/socialising with him would be downright self-destructive. 

Now, of course this is unpleasant for Booker because he’s already lonely and self-hating and it’s difficult -- though not necessarily impossible! -- for any of them to form a support system outside the group. But that really isn’t the team’s responsibility and, what is really the alternative? 

Maybe it’s being framed so much as “punishment” because Andy says “there has to be a price.” And there does; the consequences of Booker’s choice will unfold in some way whatever they do. The team do not have the option of simply resetting to normal, even if they wanted to. The only question is only who carries the weight of those consequences and how. Should Nicky and Joe have to pretend to feel comfortable around Booker, should they force themselves to go through the motions of friendship – hug him, smile at him, pass him a coffee – while their shoulders go up around their ears whenever he’s in the room, regardless of what that means for their own healing?

The injustice of that should be obvious but even if they did it, even if they made that colossal sacrifice for the person who just hurt them, would it really help Booker? Imagine being him and settling down to watch the football beside Joe and knowing what he likely remembers whenever he looks at you. Honestly, I don’t see that being a healthy path to recovery for him either.

Or OK. Maybe they don’t put on an act. They  keep spending time with him, but they don’t try to hide the nightmares and the flashbacks or the way their smiles drop whenever he comes into the room. Maybe they flinch whenever he gets too close and sometimes they yell at him but they all have to put that on hold every time there’s a mission and somehow they also they try to be his therapists?

I don’t know, it sounds a lot kinder to everyone to just get some fucking space.

Not hanging out with someone who gravely hurt you isn’t punishment, it’s basic boundaries and self-care for you and I’m beginning to worry about what it means that many of you don’t seem to know that.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Hi! I want to hear some of your opinions on the "born evil" trope, why you dislike and find it harmful. I personally dislike it but its a popular trope in fiction so Im glad that you criticized it in regards to Tom Riddle/Voldemort being described as "born evil".

I actually have a handful of posts in my inherent morality tag if you want to check those out.

I'm gonna make a bulletpoint list because that's easier for me, but here's some of my issues with that trope and the idea in general:

(putting it under a cut because it got long and heavy; warning for discussions of child abuse, racism, and religious trauma)

It's EXTREMELY Christian. It's very heavily based on the idea of Original Sin, that you're born wrong and must spend your life atoning for that wrongness because it's just how you are. It's bullshit and I am always going to stand by that.

(Nobody better try to claim that Original Sin is "Abarahamic", I swear to god. Look up any information on it from Jewish and Muslim sources and you'll see that it is 100% a Christian concept.)

It treats morality as something inherent instead of a series of choices and shifting perspectives. "Good" and "evil" are very subjective ideas and what we see as good and what we see as evil are dependent on our own experiences as individuals.

To continue on that, we make choices every single day, every moment of our lives. We are constantly changing as people, even if we don't realize it, and we can always choose to change how we live and act based on new information we have or a desire to be better (or worse). And again, my idea of "better" and "worse" are incredibly subjective and personal to me, and other people will feel differently. The idea that we're born "bad" or born "good" takes away our choices in our own lives.

The idea that children are "born evil" has been used to justify some truly horrific things in the world. So many children end up abused, tortured, traumatized, and even murdered because adults in their lives decided that something about them was "wrong". This was actually a huge part of Tom Riddle's characterization and story in Harry Potter, but it's also something done to real children, especially in fundamentalist Christian communities.

(It's also weaponized against Black and indigenous children especially. Some American Christian sects believe that brown skin is a sign of corruption and rejection of Christ, and therefore those children need to be "saved" or not born at all. In other communities, racist ideas that children of color are more violent or sexual or aggressive combine with the idea that morality is inherent and the results are devastating for those children.)

Finally, the idea of inherent morality explicitly discourages people from trying to change. Why would someone try to be better and be kinder and show more compassion when they're told that no matter what they do, they're always going to be bad? Either because of choices they made in the past or some vague evil they were supposedly born with, there's no reason for them to try to improve because they're convinced that there's something about them that's so terrible that it can never change. We should always strive to learn more and make choices that we feel are better for ourselves, others, and the world around us but people aren't going to want to do that when every choice they've made in the past is always hanging over their neck like a guillotine, declaring them evil and bad for even trying to be better.

[sharkbait77]

The Sun Sets With You

Chapter Four: The Foundation of Growth

Summary: A simple yet despondent farm life suddenly sparks with new hope when an unusual traveler makes your town his latest stop and brings with him intriguing and promising viewpoints and no one to share them with. Until he meets you.

Pairing: Ezra Prospect x f!Reader

Rating: M

Warnings: Silas is officially his own warning! Death of a parent, depressive undertones, grief, food, pls lmk if I missed any!

W/C: 3.3k

A/N: This one is loaded with feelings guys, I didn't mean for it to be so heavy handed in the grief area, but I hope the conversation Ezra has with Reader offsets that. I definitely got into my own feelings about loss with this one, so I'm really sorry in advance if it's too much to handle. Read at your own risk, I've said it before, this story is not for everyone, always take care of yourself first & foremost lovelies. I've got some fluff coming up to make up for this one! I'm still building the plot you guys, I hope you're still with me!

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Chapter Three || Chapter Five

~MAY THIRD OF EIGHTEEN SIXTY-SEVEN~

Two weeks have since passed; Pa and Ezra had tediously worked the fields, sowed the seeds with care, and the fruition of all their work thus far has resulted in the small sprouts now growing from the Earth. ‘One of Mother Nature’s greatest gifts’, Ezra had said once while you gazed upon the rows of leaflets. Rebirth, growth, new beginnings. You find yourself envying the fresh buds, wishing to crawl into the dirt and begin again as well.

The shop is quiet today. Since you chased away the older women looking to learn more about Ezra Prospect, you haven’t heard a peep since. Quite surprising, though you count your blessings and hope the silence will hold, if only for a moment longer. The children play in the road with the stray town dog and you catch yourself giggling as you watch them. Such innocence in their youth. You only hope life treats them kinder than it had to you.

The shop bell dinging pulls you out of your thoughts and you stand straighter to greet the customer. Lucille Jones enters, without the overbearing presence of her mother – a shock in and of itself. She walks with her hands entwined in front of her, her head lowered some, and blonde ringlets of hair fall forward to frame her face, but she still carries a gentle smile on her face as she looks up at you.

As much as you pitied the outcome of your own life, you could not help but pity Lucille’s tenfold. Her father had fought and perished in the war, the only person to have shown her love and caring, and she was now left with her mother, who was ready to practically pawn her off to the next richest man to come through town.

Were it not for her mother’s meddling, you know the two of you would be great friends. She may be the only other person in this town who can empathize with your despondency; her dreams, likely, have been ripped from her as well. Though, it makes the curiosity spark within you as you wonder why exactly she has shown up in the shop so suddenly and without her mother.

“Hello, Lucille. It’s nice to see you,” you say politely. She nods in return. Timid girl. “May I interest you in anything? I’ve concocted a new healing agent to help with the pesky bug bites during the summer,” you offer gently.

“I-I’ve…” She squeaks. You cock your head slightly at her.

“Lucille, what has your nerves so rattled?”

“I’ve come as a favor to my mother. And Mrs. Foster and Mrs. McKenna.”

She faces you head on now, her soft voice filled with determination to complete her mission, yet her eyes, filled with regret, betray her. You raise your eyebrows in contempt and sigh deeply, and upon seeing your reaction, Lucille’s desire to help her mother gossip dissipates. She quickly steps forward, the heels of her white boots clacking against the wooden floors and the skirts of her pink dress flowing behind her.

“I’m so sorry, I did not wish to come and gossip. It is not my desire. My mother… She would not rest until I agreed to come here,” she laments, the quiver in her voice proving to you that she truly meant no harm. “I will pass on the news that you will speak to no one. Forgive me,” she says, her head hanging lower now than at the start of this conversation as she turns to walk away.

“Wait,” you call out. She stops in her tracks, but does not turn to face you again. You walk around the counter to her position. “Lucille… Why do you follow what your mother commands of you?” You ask softly.

“I…” She looks up in your eyes, tears forming in her own and you swear you feel a string in your heart snap at the sight. “I have no choice.”

“Yes, you do. You can choose to leave all this behind, leave this town and its capability to drain the life from you. You do have a choice for how you desire to live your life.”

You hold her by her shoulders as you speak and you realize you are sharing advice with her that could very well be said to your own face. You know it is not a possibility for you, but if you were able to help Lucille leave town and save her from feeling the same hopelessness as you, a part of you would be freed as well, knowing she will have been able to move on to better things.

She stares at you, the tears in her eyes now dried up and you see a small spark of hope in them, but before you can speak more to nurture that spark into a larger flame, the shop bell dings again. Based on the dark figure in your peripheral, the stomp of large, gaudy boots walking in, the heady scent of cheap cologne filling your nostrils, you know exactly who it is.

Lucille looks at the man first and you remove your hands from her shoulders, taking a step back and inhaling a deep breath, nearly choking on the fragrance now overpowering the shop.

“Hello, Mr. Taylor,” Lucille greets, bowing her head slightly.

“Hiya sweetheart,” he responds in a predatory voice and you snap your head in his direction.

“How can I help you, Silas?” You ask quickly before he can intimidate poor Lucille.

“I heard you’ve got some queer working on the farm now,” he chuckles.

“Do not call him that,” you bite and Silas immediately stops laughing.

“Darlin’,” he takes a step toward you and Lucille backs away against the shop wall. “Don’t tell me you have befriended him. You’re too good for the likes of a freak.”

“You don’t know him,” you reply, keeping your head held high with determination, but you instinctually flinch when Silas barks out a laugh.

“And you do?!” He says, grinning wickedly. “For your sake, honey, I truly hope not.”

“What is your meaning, Silas? He works on my farm, it is only natural that I will, and have, come to know him.”

“Perhaps,” he says, his voice dropping to a lower, more aggressive, octave. “Just be aware of the consequences if you come to know him as more than the simple farmhand he is.”

You wish to spit in his face, to continue defending Ezra, yet the instincts within you beg for you to stop. Though you’ve never been one to cower at Silas and his schemes, you’ve also never seen him as he is before you. Crazed, animalistic, frightening. You’re unsure of what he truly is capable of and you would hate for now to be the time to learn.

Despite the resolute expression you attempt to hold, your eyes must shine with the light fear he managed to instill in you with his threat because he flashes a satisfied smirk, a laugh escaping his flared nostrils as he backs away from you. He turns on his heels and faces Lucille again, huffing a goodbye to her and glancing over his shoulder at you before walking out.

“Are you all right?” Lucille asks softly. You only nod in return. “That man is…” She scoffs, understanding how loathsome he is.

“Not a man. A beast.”

~MAY FIFTH OF EIGHTEEN SIXTY-SEVEN~

As you exit the house, ready to meet Ezra at the place you now share together, you reach up to grab an apple from the tree for yourself and throw it in your bag along with your book. You take a step away then halt just as quickly. You consider Ezra, and smile to yourself as you reach up again to grab another apple from the branch, setting it gently inside your bag.

As you approach the oak, you see Ezra standing near the edge of the river, his hands clasped behind his back and head held high. He seems to be enjoying the scenery and you try to lighten your steps so as to not draw him from his serene moment, but the grass crunches under your boots as you walk, regardless of how careful you are, and Ezra turns his head in the direction of the noise, smiling brightly once he sees you.

“Dear Sunflower, I was afraid you would not show today,” he says as he turns his whole body to face you.

“My apologies,” you catch your lip in between your teeth, hiding the amused grin forming on your face, your heart skipping a beat at the knowledge that he had been waiting for your arrival. You dig in your bag in search of the apple you plucked specially for him. “A gift for keeping you waiting,” you say and hold the bright, red fruit out to him.

“Sunflower,” he gasps softly, as though you had just handed him a precious gem. “Thank you. A sweet and kind gesture from someone as equally generous; it will not be forgotten.”

You nod once while you bite the inside of your cheeks. What has gotten you so giddy? He merely gave his thanks for your offering, but the smile on his face, his eyes searching yours to clue him in on what has you so affected, makes a schoolgirl-ish giggle escaping your throat.

You reach for your own apple and drop your bag down in the grass, closer to the tree, and you step closer to the river, kneeling down and carefully dipping the apple into the cool stream to wash the skin. Ezra kneels down beside you and follows your lead.

“These are from the tree by the house. The last tree I was able to plant with my mother before she-”

You pause, immediately feeling your throat constrict and halting any further words from falling from your lips. You’ve not spoken so carefree of your mother to anyone, and the suddenness of your desire to do so catches you off guard. Though you have gotten to know Ezra as more than an acquaintance, the truth of the matter was he is still a stranger to you.

You sense the energy shift around you, and you bite your tongue in penance for turning such a peaceful time into an unpleasant one. Ezra stops washing his apple and leans up straight again while you keep your hands under the cold water, scared to look into his eyes and see judgement.

“Sunflower,” he calls and you startle slightly. After a moment of silence, he speaks again. “If you were to wash that fruit any longer, I’m afraid it may lose its red complexion and turn into a shade of white.”

You cannot help the awkward chuckle that falls from your mouth and you lean up straight as well, still avoiding his gaze as you dry the apple with your apron. Aside from the running water next to you, the air is silent, neither of you speaking a word.

You continue drying the apple, turning it over and over in the cloth around your waist, even though you’re sure there are no water droplets remaining. Suddenly, a loud chomp is heard and your eyes snap up to the offending noise to see Ezra bringing the apple away from his lips, and the two of you break out into gentle laughter.

“Sunflower,” he begins after swallowing the piece of fruit in his mouth. “This is truly the sweetest apple I’ve ever bitten into, and I wholeheartedly believe it is because you and your dear mother were the ones to nurture the tree that grew it.”

The smile that remained on your face from your laughter slowly falls as you remember the day your mother suggested you plant the tree from a seed she accidentally bit into. You can recall her giggles as she grabbed you by the hand and pulled you outside, instructing you to grab the small shovel that was laid by the house while she held the seed in her closed fist.

Pa had said it would not take, chuckling and shaking his head as your mother shooed him away, reprimanding him for cursing the seedling before it had a chance to grow. And, with much love and dedication that your mother insisted on carrying out together, the small tree grew, and soon after, sprouted the shiny, red globes.

“I… I apologize for the sudden change of atmosphere, Ezra,” you say quietly, glancing up at him sheepishly and, to your surprise, are met with a gentle smile of understanding across his face.

“Please do not apologize for reminiscing upon your loved one. It is a hobby I frequently partake in. The memories… They are what keep them alive. No longer with us in the physical sense, yet they live in the grass, in the rivers. In the trees.”

“Like the Green?” You ask shyly as you pick at the stem of your apple.

“Yes. They are born again, just in a different form, but always here to remind you of life. Much like the apple tree is a reminder of your mother.”

You wonder to yourself if Ezra has been a victim of loss as well. The way he speaks of it seems as though he talks from experience, but you do not dare ask. As uncomfortable as it can be for you to speak about your mother, you’d hate to bring that discomfort to him as well. Yet… He speaks so openly, so calmly, that you feel yourself longing to open up.

“Perhaps if I dream of the Green, I would see my mother again,” you say under your breath, feeling the tears that have so long desired to flow build in your eyes with an unbearable pressure.

“You do not need to wait until your dreams, dear Sunflower. You only need to look around at the life surrounding you to know she is here. Close your eyes and she will appear.”

You only have the strength to nod, the lump stuck in your throat as thick as Pa’s dreadful grits he so enjoys making during the winter. A small laugh bubbles over as you remember the way your mother put up the facade of enjoying his grits only to empty them in a bucket to be fed to the cows at a later time.

You look back up at Ezra and he smiles, his eyes shining with compassion, no hint of judgement or scrutiny to be found, and the lump in your throat vanishes, comfort radiating from his person onto you like a warm, wool blanket.

“Would…” You hesitate, but an overwhelming urge to share with Ezra commands you to continue. “Would you like to see her?”

“I would love to,” he nods gently.

You smile softly, leaving your apple to rest in your lap while you carefully pull at the chain around your neck until the small locket emerges from underneath your blouse. You scoot closer to Ezra and he mimics your movement, leaning closer to you as well and you recognize that this is the first time he has been in such close proximity to you.

You shove the tip of your fingernail between the crevice of the locket until it pops open, revealing the black and white photograph of your mother that you yourself have not taken the opportunity to look at in far too long. The length of the chain is still too short for Ezra to get a proper look, so he leans in closer, your heads mere inches apart.

You feel your pulse thumping against your chest, the vein in your neck throbbing as you feel the heat emanating from him. He smells of cedarwood and the hay bed he sleeps on, a light scent of sweat from working the fields, and something almost sweet, a unique aroma to be found only on his person and no one else.

“She is very beautiful, Sunflower. It is as plain as the nose on my face that you are her daughter,” he compliments, backing away from you slowly and you giggle softly as you place the locket back into your blouse. “What is her name?”

“Emma,” you smile genuinely, for once feeling not one ounce of sadness as you say her name aloud.

“Emma. She is now the sun, moon, and stars that shine down on you, Sunflower.”

You smile once again and nod as you place your hand on your chest, feeling the cool metal press against the warm skin covering your sternum. You close your eyes and let the sun’s rays warm your cheeks as you take a deep breath, heeding Ezra’s thoughtful words and imagining that your mother is, indeed, the sun kissing your face.

“Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts, Ezra,” you say after a beat of prolonged silence. As you look over at him, you see his head lowering, too, as if he had mimicked your action and let the warmth of the sun fall on his face as well.

“You have no need to thank me, dear one. I am elated you deemed me worthy to share your thoughts with. If you ever desire to share again, please know I am here,” he says softly as he smiles.

“You are a very good friend, Ezra. I am happy to know you.”

“And I, you.”

You look down at your lap to your forgotten apple, raising it to your mouth to take a bite and Ezra resumes eating his as well. Once you’ve both bitten down to the core, you both toss them into the river and you stand up, allowing the blood to circulate through your legs again before heading over to the tree.

You bend over to collect your bag along the way and your book falls from the opening as you stand straight. Before you are able to bend down to grab it, Ezra is already there, lifting it in his hands while he reads the cover.

“‘Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland’?” He smiles quizzically.

“I understand it is for children, but I quite enjoy the adventure and wonder of it,” you say, smiling from embarrassment.

“I do not judge what a young lady chooses to read in her spare time, Sunflower,” he grins as he hands the book to you. “I have yet to read this one. Will you read it aloud for me?”

“Yes,” you nod. “If you’d like.”

You both sit down in the grass, leaning your backs against the trunk of the oak tree as you find the page you last left off. The scene of Alice’s trial has Ezra suddenly captivated as to what caused Alice to be put on trial, unfairly it seemed. You do your best to explain, which only produces more questions from Ezra.

You giggle at his frustration over the treatment of this poor girl and decide to start the book over for Ezra to follow along, a genuine happiness washing over you at the thought of reading this story to Ezra for the weeks to come. He leans in closer, as though the distance you had between you previously was too far for him to hear you and you stumble over your words slightly.

You still do not understand this feeling overcoming you; the only thing you do understand is that you do not feel the need to place a guard around yourself as you do with the others in town. You want to share with Ezra, you feel comfortable enough with him already, though he has only been here for two weeks.

Yet, you feel as though you know him better than most around you and you feel that he understands you better than even your Pa. It frightens you, yet you have no desire to run from it, but rather towards it. A new path you find yourself carving into your mind.

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[gwynsplainer]

On The Grinning Man and the De-Politicization of L'Homme Qui Rit (a Spontaneous Essay)

Since I watched The Grinning Man I’ve been meaning to write a post comparing it to The Man Who Laughs but I have a lot of opinions and analysis I wanted to do so I have been putting it off for ages. So here goes! If I were to make a post where I explain everything the musical changes it would definitely go over the word limit, so I’ll mostly stick to the thematic. Let me know if that’s a post you’d like to see, though!

Ultimately, The Grinning Man isn’t really an adaptation of the Man Who Laughs. It keeps some of the major plot beats (a disfigured young man with a mysterious past raised by a man and his wolf to perform to make a living alongside the blind girl he rescued from the snow, restored to his aristocratic past by chance after their show is seen by Lord David and Duchess Josiana, and the interference of the scheming Barkilphedro…. well, that’s just about it). The problem I had with the show, however, wasn’t the plot points not syncing up, it was the thematic inconsistency with the book. By replacing the book’s antagonistic act—the existence of a privileged ruling class—with the actions of one or two individuals from the lower class, transforming the societal tragedy into a revenge plot, and reducing the pain of dehumanization and abuse to the pain of a physical wound, The Grinning Man is a sanitized, thematically weak failure to adapt The Man Who Laughs.

I think the main change is related to the reason I posit the book never made it in the English-speaking world. The musical was made in England, the setting of the book which was so critical of its monarchy, it’s aristocracy, and the failings of its society in ways that really haven’t been remedied so far. It might be a bit of a jump to assume this is connected, but I have evidence. They refer to it as a place somewhat like our own, but change King James to King Clarence, and Queen Anne to Angelica. Obviously, the events of the book are fictional, and it was a weird move for Hugo to implicate real historical figures as responsible for the torture of a child, but it clearly served a purpose in his political criticism that the creative team made a choice to erase. They didn’t just change the names, though, they replaced the responsibility completely. In the book, Gwynplaine’s disfigurement—I will be referring to him as Gwynplaine because I think the musical calling him Grinpayne was an incredibly stupid and cruel choice—was done to him very deliberately, with malice aforethought, at the order of the king. The king represents the oppression of the privileged, and having the fault be all Barkilphédro loses a lot thematically. The antagonism of the rich is replaced by the cruelty of an upwardly mobile poor man (Barkilphédro), and the complicity of another poor man.

The other “villain” of the original story is the way that Gwynplaine is treated. I think for 1869, this was a very ahead-of-its-time approach to disability, which almost resembles the contemporary understanding of the Social Model of disability. (Sidenote: I can’t argue on Déa’s behalf. Hugo really dropped the ball with her. I’m going to take a moment to shout out the musical for the strength and agency they gave Déa.) The way the public treats Gwynplaine was kind of absent from the show. I thought it was a very interesting and potentially good choice to have the audience enter the role of Gwynplaine’s audience (the first they see of him is onstage, performing as the Grinning Man) rather than the role of the reader (where we first see him as a child, fleeing a storm). If done right, this could have explored the story’s theme of our tendency to place our empathy on hold in order to be distracted and feel good, eventually returning to critique the audience’s complicity in Gwynplaine’s treatment. However, since Grinpayne’s suffering is primarily based in the angst caused by his missing past and the physical pain of his wound (long-healed into a network of scars in the book) [a quick side-note: I think it was refreshing to see chronic pain appear in media, you almost never see that, but I wish it wasn’t in place of the depth of the original story], the audience does not have to confront their role in his pain. They hardly play one. Instead, it is Barkilphédro, the singular villain, who is responsible for Grinpayne’s suffering. Absolving the audience and the systems of power which put us comfortably in our seats to watch the show of pain and misery by relegating responsibility to one character, the audience gets to go home feeling good.

If you want to stretch, the villain of the Grinning Man could be two people and not one. It doesn’t really matter, since it still comes back to individual fault, not even the individual fault of a person of high status, but one or two poor people. Musical!Ursus is an infinitely shittier person than his literary counterpart. In the book, Gwynplaine is still forced to perform spectacles that show off his appearance, but they’re a lot less personal and a lot less retraumatizing. In the musical, they randomly decided that not only would the role of the rich in the suffering of the poor be minimized, but also it would be poor people that hurt Grinpayne the most. Musical!Ursus idly allows a boy to be mutilated and then takes him in and forces him to perform a sanitized version of his own trauma while trying to convince him that he just needs to move on. In the book, he is much kinder. Their show, Chaos Vanquished, also allows him to show off as an acrobat and a singer, along with Déa, whose blindness isn’t exploited for the show at all. He performs because he needs to for them all to survive. He lives a complex life like real people do, of misery and joy. He’s not obsessed with “descanting on his own deformity” (dark shoutout to William Shakespeare for that little…infuriating line from Richard III), but rather thoughtfully aware of what it means. He deeply feels the reality of how he is seen and treated. Gwynplaine understands that he was hurt by the people who discarded him for looking different and for being poor, and he fucking goes off about it in the Parliament Confrontation scene (more to come on this). It is not a lesson he has to learn but a lesson he has to teach.

Grinpayne, on the other hand, spends his days in agony over his inability to recall who disfigured him, and his burning need to seek revenge. To me, this feels more than a little reminiscent of the trope of the Search for a Cure which is so pervasive in media portrayals of disability, in which disabled characters are able to think of nothing but how terribly wrong their lives went upon becoming disabled and plan out how they might rectify this. Grinpayne wants to avenge his mutilation. Gwynplaine wants to fix society. Sure, he decides to take the high road and not do this, and his learning is a valuable part of the musical’s story, but I think there’s something so awesome about how the book shows a disabled man who understands his life better than any abled mentor-philosophers who try to tell him how to feel. Nor is Gwynplaine fixed by Déa or vice versa, they merely find solace and strength in each other’s company and solidarity. The musical uses a lot of language about love making their bodies whole which feels off-base to me.

I must also note how deeply subversive the book was for making him actually happy: despite the pain he feels, he is able to enjoy his life in the company and solidarity he finds with Déa and takes pride in his ability to provide for her. The assumption that he should want to change his lot in life is not only directly addressed, but also stated outright as a failure of the audience: “You may think that had the offer been made to him to remove his deformity he would have grasped at it. Yet he would have refused it emphatically…Without his rictus… Déa would perhaps not have had bread every day”

He has a found family that he loves and that loves him. I thought having him come from a loving ~Noble~ family that meant more to him than Ursus did rather than having Ursus, a poor old man, be the most he had of a family in all his memory and having Déa end up being Ursus’ biological daughter really undercut the found family aspect of the book in a disappointing way.

Most important to me was the fundamental change that came from the removal of the Parliament Confrontation scene, on both the themes of the show and the character of Gwynplaine. When Gwyn’s heritage is revealed and his peerage is restored to him, he gets the opportunity to confront society’s problems in the House of Parliament. When Gwynplaine arrives in the House of Parliament, the Peers of England are voting on what inordinate sum to allow as income to the husband of the Queen. The Peers expect any patriotic member of their ranks to blithely agree to this vote: in essence, it is a courtesy. Having grown up in extreme poverty, Gwynplaine is outraged by the pettiness of this vote and votes no. The Peers, shocked by this transgression, allow him to take the stand and explain himself. In this scene, Gwynplaine brilliantly and profoundly confronts the evils of society. He shows the Peers their own shame, recounting how in his darkest times a “pauper nourished him” while a “king mutilated him.” Even though he says nothing remotely funny, he is received with howling laughter. This scene does a really good job framing disability as a problem of a corrupt, compassionless society rather than something wrong with the disabled individual (again, see the Social Model of disability, which is obviously flawed, but does a good job recognizing society that denies access, understanding and compassion—the kind not built on pity—as a central problem faced by disabled communities). It is the central moment of Hugo’s story thematically, which calls out the injustices in a system and forces the reader to reckon with it.

It is so radical and interesting and full that Gwynplaine is as brilliant and aware as he is. He sees himself as a part of a system of cruelty and seeks justice for it. He is an empathic, sharp-minded person who seeks to make things better not just for himself and his family, but for all who suffer as he did at the hands of Kings. Grinpayne’s rallying cry is “I will find and kill the man who crucified my face.” He later gets wise to the nature of life and abandons this, but in that he never actually gets to control his own relationship to his life. When I took a class about disability in the media one of the things that seemed to stand out to me most is that disabled people should be treated as the experts on their own experiences, which Gwynplaine is. Again, for a book written in 1869 that is radical. Grinpayne is soothed into understanding by the memory of his (rich) mother’s kindness.

I’ll give one more point of credit. I loved that there was a happy ending. But maybe that’s just me. The cast was stellar, and the puppetry was magnificent. I wanted to like the show so badly, but I just couldn’t get behind what it did to the story I loved.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi JWB, analysis anon here. OMG, every time ai visit your blog, I have so much to savour and enjoy! Really in awe and wonder of the quality of your work and creativity! Well, I was pondering over the role of religion in the IPK universe—- while they did show divine miracles in Khushi’s case, Anjali being the most overtly religious one is shown to be the worst sufferer! Quite an exception in the ITV world, don’t you think?

Hello Dearest Analysis Anon!

Aaaaahhhh what's with all the love today? I'll melt into a puddle!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you - bohot bohot - for all the love.

The role of religion in the IPK universe

I think IPK was very pragmatic and honest in its way of dealing with religion - which is fantastic and very progressive. I've rarely seen shows post IPKKND have such a healthy relationship with religion tbh. Through subtle, smart ways the show showed some very important themes:

- People can chose to be an atheist or a devotee, what matters is each respects the other's choice. Arnav, although initially judged by Khushi for not believing in God, is never shown to 'transform' and believe in God. Rather Arnav learns to be kinder to those who do believe in God and Khushi realizes that religion alone is no measure of one's character and morality considering Shyam and Dadi are fairly religious.

- God helps those who help themselves. While the show beautifully left Arnav alone with his atheism, it is interesting to see how the characters who believed were treated. Buaji, Khushi and Payal keep getting assistance/good luck not just because they pray regularly, but for working their butts off to get things done. Khushi is constantly working hard to keep things afloat. Payal does everything to support her sister and keep the harmonious balance in the family.

- No devotion can help if one is blind. Anjali's blind faith is a warning on what can happen if we choose to not see things. Yes she's devoted and religion plays a massive role in her life but no God can help you if you choose to not see things for what they are.

- No one is punished for being an atheist. A lot of shows tend to show that if a person did not believe in God, then by events and pain the person will be forced to accept God exists - something that Khushi challenged Arnav with. What's beautiful about this is that IPK, in a way, gets religion right. God, irrespective of religion, does not have ego. This is a very human trait to force people to bow to our beliefs. So in a way I'm glad that Arnav never had a reflection of 'oh God does exist'. His pain and suffering (later in life) is due to external factors and his own deeds - not because of 'God is teaching him a lesson'. No 'God' does that, humans do though. Also Arnav is not ‘punished’ for trying to be ‘God’, he gets all the yelling for breaking another person’s privacy and trying to control another person’s life because that person rattled his ego. 

- Religious or not, you have to face the consequences of your actions. God does not 'fix' everything. Khushi suffers for keeping Shyam's truth away from Anjali - a truth that could've saved Anjali a lot of pain. And look at karma, Khushi's misplaced actions endanger Anjali's life so it leads to Payal's marriage being threatened. Anjali suffers for believing in Shyam despite her own flesh and blood telling her the truth of his evil ways. She goes against her good judgement to include Shyam in her life and that costed her her child. Arnav continuously suffered multiple heartbreaks and his own relationship was always at the brink of breaking given how he often disrespected and hurt Khushi and their relationship.

- If you believe in God, you'll find a way through your faith. If you're an atheist, you'll find a way through logic. Most importantly, you'll find a way if you're smart *lol* this is especially evident during the kidnapping track. Both Arnav & Khushi finds means to get through the trouble with the help of things they believe in. Khushi's faith in Devi Maiyya leads to the chunri falling on Shyam's shoes which she follows through her instinct and intelligence. Arnav's presence of mind and quick thinking helps him give a vital clue to Khushi - which was the restaurant with Laad Governor written on it.

- And true, Anjali suffered the most despite being the most religious - but she also had miraculous saves from accidents that would've literally killed anyone else. She keeps on cheating death - electric shock, scorpion, doused in ether, car accident and a dangerous miscarriage.

So yes, I love the way IPK dealt with religion (largely) because I see religion in the same way as well. I love my faith but I don't see the logic of doing something stupid and thinking 'God will fix everything'.

Well this did become very lengthy - thanks for the interesting ask!

Much love,

- JWB

[dumblemonchickenwing]

My take on Sev\erus Sn\ape. After all those years

I am aware of all his flaws. He had a rough childhood and never had anyone who would help him grow into a better person or give him a personality that would help him change. But that doesn’t excuse any thing he ever did throughout the series.

He was selfish and petty, and though he loved Lily, it was the only thing that brought any good out of him. And yet the reason he loved her, im  pretty sure, was that she was the only person he knew and was close to, and also because she made him feel human and he may have always wanted to be with her because she brought out good things in him, with her kind and sweet personality. He wanted to be around her because it would make him feel less lonely and make him feel good. He didnt want to be there for her, at least intially it never crossed his mind.  His love toward her also stems from him not wanting, not willing to change. He only knew Lily, and only wanted to be with her. He didn’t want to put any effort in changing that and looking at anyone else. He wanted Lily all to himself, even if it was bad for her. He was extremely jealous and he hated admitting he was wrong, he shifted blame on others, and even when he was confronted by her he kept excusing himself.

Even when he went too far and she cut ties with him, he felt he had the excuse to call her an extremely hurtful slur “mudblood”. He tried to get back to her even after he crossed the line and hurt her deeply, instead of holding himself accountable and realizing she deserves to be treated right. Not to mention his highly hypocritic attitude of calling every muggleborn a slur and treating them like they’re not human, yet only being nice to Lily, not caring to realize how mean this attitude is and how it makes Her feel. 

His love for her didnt change him at all, because he only cared about his own feelings, because he wasn’t willing to change for Lily, because he loved her out of his own pettiness and obsession. His feelings were centered around himself and what he saw and felt.  James Potter was a bully and a spoiled kid. But what people often gloss over is the thing he did what Sn\ape didn’t. James changed himself for Lily, because he loved her in a way that let him recognize and reflect on her feelings and what she wants. James was a jerk, he did bad things, he was a bully, but he made that part of himself his past, for Lily. 

Sn\ape didnt change himself for her nor for anyone, nor for himself, he chose to stay the way he is because he didnt feel the need to look into himself and maybe realize there are things he could have made different because what he does hurts Lily. He kept going the path he started . Maybe he knew he was wrong but he still didnt change.

The reason S\nape threw everything he started, away, and sworn to Dumbledore to protect Harry, was because Sn\ape hated himself for being the cause of Lily’s death. He grieved and was in a lot of pain, and he hated himself most but he chose to self destruct rather than become better and heal to not repeat the same mistake again. It was his choice. 

His self-hatred has become the core of his character ever since Lily perished. If he had decided to make up for his mistakes and learn from them, he would have changed what made him make those mistake he had made, and grow as a person. If he had loved Lily in a way that included her feelings in his mind, he would have looked at Harry differently. He would have become slightly better, he would have chosen to act differently and he would have been able to see things in a kinder light. But he chose to drown in self-hatred, he chose to hate himself and let it be the only feeling in his life. He subconsciously chose to hurt himself by making himself think that Lily’s son was a copy of the person who bullied him, instead of seeing Harry as someone different from that. Sna\pe hated everyone because of choosing to let his hate be the only feeling.

Sn\ape chose to betray lord Voldemort and death eaters, Not because he didnt want to be a death eater anymore. Not because he no longer shared their values.

He was into dark magic, he actively supported death eaters even when Lily was alive. Did it change? Did he decide he hates dark magic? Did he decide he hates death eaters? No. In fact, his values never changed, he never turned his back on them out of principle.

He did it because he still saw himself as a death eater. He still had same values as them. He followed them. But he chose to betray them because he chose to destroy himself.

Working for Dumbledore was a way to punish himself for having been the reason Lily was killed. I know he later on complained to Dumbledore that he puts so much effort in being a double agent and putting himself in danger, but thats because his human selfishness was speaking out (working hard and being upset its being taken advantage of)

In a way, protecting Harry was the only reason for living for S\nape. But he didnt do it because it was truly his reason for living, He didnt see Harry as his reason for living. He did it all to make up for what he did, and sort of take revenge on himself. Not even on Voldemort. It was never stated that S\nape hated Voldemort. In fact, he never did even after he killed Lily. The only possible explanation is that Sn\ape blamed himself for her death.

Sn\ape didnt atone for anything he did with the intention to make things better: to clear Lily’s name, to save her son she loved dearly. he only chose to do it all to feed his own hatred. In the end, the only person he saw, was himself. He didnt “see” Lily, he didnt “see” Harry, Dumbledore, Voldemort.  “I am the reason she died”  “I am the one to blame” “I hate myself” “I am in pain” “It all happened to me” “Lily meant a lot to me”

Sn\ape hated himself and took out all of his hatred on everyone around him.

IF Sn\ape could see Lily’s feelings and care about them, he would have looked at Harry and wonder how Harry feels and what troubles him. If Sna\pe’s love made him try to see what was important to Lily and not only to him, he would have tried to see James and Harry in different light and maybe let go of his petty hatred towards them. He would have at least tried to open up his “black curtains” a little bit and put down his pettyness and old grudges.

Sn\ape didnt think about letting go of his grudges even if they hurt Lily. He chose to dive deeper into them and hold them close to his heart, even when he had a person who brought out the good in him. He could have a lot of reasons to act that way, he had bad past, he was bullied, and maybe all that were the factors of why he chose to put his grudges and hatred above what was important to the person whom he loved. But the fact still stands: he chose that. 

His bad past doesn’t excuse all the things he has done later on as an adult. It can be understood, but not excused. It didnt give him the right to do what he did. The reason why Sn\ape is interesting, is not because he is good or misunderstood. It is because his story is tragic and human. He is very flawed. He is selfish. He is full of grudges. he chose to stay stagnant instead of growing. That is what made him so unique. He was the tragic character that never got to change and chose to self-destruct instead. 

He wasnt like Harry, who grew and changed and healed after everything that had happened to him. He wasn’t like Ron, who chose to grow out of his jealousy and pettiness at being the last at everything. He wasn’t like Slughorn, who tried to learn from his mistake and grief and be at least braver than he used to be. He wasn’t like Regulus Black, who actually realized his faults and that Voldemort is wrong. 

His actions and motivations were purely emotion-driven. But his emotions weren’t pure. Sna\pe stands out among all HP characters because he was one of the few who didnt change as people while managing to change everything.

[lassieposting]

Bit late and random but it's the anon you leave food out for here to give away I am also bi and I think exactly the same as you about bi val pretty much, every time Derek offers me representation my reaction is to slowly, hesitantly take it and say "thaaaaaaaaanks..." while rolling my eyes, in much the same way one accepts their least favourite flavour of sweet from an annoyingly enthusiastic uncle-type-individual. Ironically I feel I had more in common with her before the bi shit started up.

What I find really amusing is that Landy actually did reasonably well at representation when (and only when) he wasn’t trying. 

Oh god, this got long, anon, my ass rambled.

tldr; I'm glad actual bi people dislike bi val (or how Laundry handled bi val) as much as me, this will probably offend at least one person but i don't really care, Dirty Laundry wrote better rep when he didn't mean to write rep at all, and if he ever starts trying to "represent" groups I'm part of I'll take him out back like a dying horse and shoot him.

Like, yes. He had stupid and potentially offensive shit - I say potentially because what offends one member of a group won’t necessarily offend all of them. His attitude to mentally ill people is, frankly, disgusting. We’ve had “Skulduggery can’t be abused, he doesn’t have feelings”. We’ve had “eVeRyOnE iS bI eVeNtUaLlY”. We had Ping, who seemed to be pretty much universally offensive. And that's what's always going to happen when a straight, cis, white, wealthy, male author tries to write marginalised groups he doesn't know shit about, because inevitably he's going to fall back on stereotypes.

But we also had:

SEXUALITY REP: Phase One's nonstraight characters were treated like the straight ones, and like, isn't that the whole point? There was no need for a massive Coming Out Story TM to grab for those sweet sweet Woke Points, because sexuality isn't supposed to be important to mages. I never understood why Val needed that whole Coming Out Panic storyline. Like...Des and Melissa are ridiculously supportive, encouraging, loving parents. They accepted you dating a ~19 year old when you were ~16. They accepted you revealing you could do fucking magic and that you'd been lying to them for like seven years. They took your undead buddy in stride and the most pressing question your dad had was whether magic toilets exist. There is zero reason to think that "I'm bisexual" is gonna be the thing that makes them flip and throw you into the streets in disgrace, Valkyrie. Come on.

Tanith had girlfriends and it was just mentioned casually, because it's normal.

China had massive UST with Eliza. That was an opportunity right there to not only include a f/f relationship, but also to bring back one of the few precious surviving characters from Phase One, using characters and a relationship that already had several books' worth of setup and tension and interest from fans.

The Monster Hunters have a casual conversation about which one of the Dead Men they'd date.

Ghastly has a conversation with Fletcher about the pain he's been through being in love. He never uses any pronouns.

It was confirmed at one point re: the Dead Men that at this point, after 300-odd years, everyone's been with everyone else at some point.

Thrasher is gay, and while Scapegrace's...everything...is treated as a joke/comedic relief, Thrasher's love for him isn't. He's completely devoted to Scapegrace, and that in itself is not played for laughs, even though the rest of the scene usually is. Thrasher's description of their first meeting is essentially a love-at-first-sight situation for him.

"ABNORMAL" RELATIONSHIP REP: Age gap relationships are normal for mages. Off the top of my head, using only canon, canon-implied or almost-canon ships:

Ghastly/Tanith (~350 year age difference)

Tanith/Sanguine (~250+ year age difference)

Tanith/Saracen (~350 year age difference)

Caisson/Solace (~250 year age difference)

China/Gordon (~400 year age difference)

Kierre/Temper (~500+ year age difference)

If you include fan ships, there's also things like Mevolent/Serpine or my Mevolent/Vile, which are both ~600 year minimum age gaps based on the timeline, or Valdug (and its variations) which is ~400 years.

Now, whether you consider this kind of rep positive or negative is up to you, but it’s there.

MENTAL ILLNESS REP: more like "Which characters in this series don't have a mental illness or a personality disorder?" I have some of these issues, but not all of them, so this is just how I read it, but:

ADHD: Skulduggery

Dissociative Identity Disorder: Skulduggery & Vile

Dissociation: Skulduggery again, most notably in DD and DB

Schizophrenia (or similar): Valkyrie & Darquesse, Valkyrie "seeing" Darquesse's ghost thing in Phase Two

Impostor Syndrome: Reflectionie

Autism: Clarabelle

Trauma/PTSD/CPTSD: Skulduggery, Valkyrie, China, Ghastly, Erskine...pretty much everyone has a believable, understandable, morally grey trauma response in this series. People struggling with trauma are spoilt for choice of characters to see themselves in.

TRAUMA REP: This series is a trauma conga line, but everyone has a believable, understandable, morally grey trauma response in this series. I see little bits of myself in more than one Phase One character.

Childhood Abuse (of varying degrees & types): Skulduggery, Carol & Crystal, Omen, Fletcher, Ghastly, China, Bliss, Sanguine...

Estranged Family: Skulduggery abandoning his crest, Fergus & Gordon, China & Bliss

Bad Romantic Relationship: Skulduggery is also very clearly an abuse victim. He’s got a solid history of romantic attachments to women who manipulate, use and gaslight him for their own agendas.  There's a whole paragraph in SPX about how Abyssinia broke him down, isolated him from his friends and preyed on his desperate need to be loved, all classic abuse tactics.

And I’m personally a huge fan of this backstory for two reasons:

1) Society likes a plucky victim in media. The "My suffering made me stronger" type of victim. And it's not always like that in real life. Not all survivors come out of their abuse stronger or kinder or more understanding. Some of us come out cold and fucked up. Some of us end up as emotionally stunted, bloodied-nails-and-bared-teeth survivors, broken in ways that can't be fixed and sustained by enough rage to power a small sun. But society doesn't like to tell the story of that kind of survivor, because we're not usually a likeable protagonist. When we're shown in media, we're usually the sympathetic villain, or maybe the antihero. But Skug is someone who's done awful things and lost pretty much all his faith in humanity and been burned more times than he can count, and he still makes the conscious choice to try and be the good guy when he could so easily go Evil Supervillain on the world, and I don't know about any of y'all, but I've modelled myself on him in that. I've made the choice to do something good when all I really want to do is just become a horrible, shrivelled ball of nastiness and revenge. And that's because I saw him do it and realised that I could do that too.

Skug is an incredibly capable, strong, masculine Man's Man. He gets in fights all the time, and he usually wins. He's military, an industry that's Really Bad for stigmatizing weakness and mental illness, and he's right up at the top of the hierarchy. Almost everyone is afraid of him. He's a straight up cold-blooded killer. Skulduggery Pleasant is precisely the type of person who's not normally portrayed as a victim of anything. Nothing about him screams "victim" at all. But his abuse history is insidious. He's so conditioned to respond in a certain way to abuse from the women in his life, probably from a very young age, that despite all that strength and capability and stubbornness and ego, he just goes along with it. And it's an established pattern going back hundreds of years. He keeps going back to China, even though he knows she's bad for him and his friends keep telling him to stay away from her. Abyssinia latched onto him when he was traumatized and vulnerable and weaponized it against him to make him easier to control - and when she reappears, hundreds of years later, she jumps straight back into using, tmanipulating and gaslighting him and not only does he let her, he doesn't even seem to realise that behaviour is abusive. He thinks it's normal! That's how he's always been treated by his long-term girlfriends, with the notable exception of Wifey. Even when Val is being fucking nasty to him in the first couple books of Phase Two, sniping and lying and blaming him for everything under the sun, he just takes it. There's no attempt to tell her she's being unreasonable, no telling her to fuck right off and give her head a wobble, no defending himself even when she's bitching over something that isn't even his doing. And this is a man who has an absolutely gleaming steel spine the rest of the time; Skug has no problem saying no to anybody else, but he can't get past the way he's been taught to treat the important ladies in his life. Skug is a walking reminder that anyone can be a victim of abuse, even the ones who seem least likely to be susceptible.

GENDER REP: This one is the most iffy out of the bunch and definitely was not done very well in the eyes of the people who matter most, but I'll include it anyway because it mattered to some.

So there's Nye, who's...agender? Genderless? And uses "it" pronouns? Nye was generally considered horrible rep because it's also a war criminal and experiments on people and I've seen people say "Well I don't want to be seen like that" but? It's still possible to be a war criminal and also genderless. I never saw the two things as being related or relevant to each other.

There's also Mantis, who's in exactly the same gender/pronouns boat as Nye and always seems to be forgotten about, which sucks because Mantis is a war hero. It fought for the Sanctuary during the War and they never lost a battle when it was in command. It's called out of retirement to fight for the Supreme Council in LSODM, ends up fighting alongside Skulduggery during the Battle of Roarhaven, and ultimately dies attempting a very brave, very risky strategy. Mantis is, unreservedly, one of the good guys. It was also my introduction to sentient beings using "it" pronouns, and did it in a way that felt natural, so when I met my first person online who used "it" pronouns and hated to be referred to as he/she, it was...weird, but not as weird as it would otherwise have been, because I was like, "Oh yeah, like the Crenga. Okay."

And then there's the Scapegrace sex change plotline, which...I might have an unpopular opinion on this one. From what I’ve seen, trans people don’t seem to think was handled well or with any sensitivity at all. I’m not trans, so if the trans community says he was being offensive to them, I’m not going to claim otherwise. But...I first read the Scapegrace plotline as a young teenager in a tiny rural school with zero diversity, going through a period of being deeply confused about my own gender identity. He was more or less my first introduction to the idea that genitals =/= gender. I was relieved, at that point in my life, to read someone having a lot of the same thoughts I was having about being in the wrong body. So while it may have been badly done and yeah, the series would probably have been better without it, it did make at least one kid suspecting she might not be cis go “Huh! So there are other people who feel like this.”

Thrasher is also implied to be legitimately trans/gender-questioning, and that's not played for laughs either.

So? Phase One, while it absolutely had faults and issues and things that were just "Oh god why", was actually full of rep, at least compared to the other series that I read as a child/teen. But? As soon as Dirty Laundry started trying to be woke? He fucking sucks ass at it. Aside from confirming Phase One's hints that Skug has a background of abusive relationships, every single attempt at shoehorning rep into Phase Two is Bad.

The painfully OOC, forced, badly-written awkwardness of Val suddenly being rabidly horny for women out of fucking nowhere. The stilted, forced cringiness between her and any of the women she's flirted with - contrast that with Sorrowscorn's interactions, full of natural chemistry that had us all like 👀 I mean, I never shipped Val/Melancholia, but I could always see why people did - they had miles more chemistry than Val/anyone in Phase Two.

The fucking mess that is v*litsa, because if someone says "I'm really not interested in friendships/relationships right now", clearly the route to true love is to bulldoze their boundaries and forcibly insert yourself into their life and proceed to treat them like a delicate soft uwu flower, completely ignoring the horrible things they've done, while gleefully damning their best friend as an irredeemable monster for the exact same things, which is. You know. Gonna affect your so-called love's self-confidence and self-esteem because she knows she's no different to him. Y'all know I love an angsty ship, an unhealthy ship, a ship with fucked power dynamics, but I literally cannot roll my eyes any further back in my head at this shit. I never read Demon Road, but from what I've heard from friends who did, it does seem like every time Laundry tries to write an f/f ship, he comes up with a cringey abusive/manipulative caricature and tries to call it rep, and he needs to Stop.

Val's Mental IllnessTM arc. It's funny how he wrote Skulduggery as a wonderfully complex character with deep-rooted psychological damage and long-lasting trauma, but believes he wrote a character with "no feelings" - but when he tries to delve into the damage the world of magic has done to Val, he turned her into a weak, whiny drug addict who treats everyone around her like garbage and is so selfish and dislikeable that I? Honestly can't even reconcile Phase Two val with Phase One val. They're two completely different people. He's shown on Twitter that he doesn't have any respect for mentally ill people, and it shows. Other mentally ill people might see it differently, but the whole thing just makes me go "yikes".

Never, who has no personality outside of being genderfluid, and whose pronouns make no sense. I'm sorry, I have never met an nb person who insists that you change from male to female pronouns multiple times in a sentence, every time you refer to them. It's confusing as fuck. Now I have been told that Never has apparently received some character development in the last couple books, and if so, fair play, but I quit reading after Midnight, and Never and the rest of the personality-less new characters introduced in Phase Two who just seemed to be 2D Stereotypes to snag Woke Points were a big part of why, so. Development too late, I'm afraid.

(Now, if anyone is looking for a well-written genderfluid character, I recommend the Tawny Man trilogy by Robin Hobb. I have a lot of issues with her as a writer, and unfortunately I hate her POV character which puts me off the series as a whole, but she wrote the Fool/Amber/Lord Golden and their gender identity/approach to sexuality with so much more respect and realism. That is the kind of rep nb people should be getting: 3D, complex, realistic characters whose gender is only a tiny fragment of their personality, not the be-all-and-end-all of their existence. You know. Like cis people get. Nobody wants to be represented by a 2D cardboard cutout stereotype.)

Anyway idk how much sense this makes it just really amuses me that Laundry would include all this rep completely unintentionally and then go on Twitter and remind us all that actually he's a massive asshole via insensitive/offensive tweets about the groups he'd actually done a fair job of including (i.e. Skulduggery has no feelings, mentally ill people should find another series to read, the bullshit about Val being "heteromantic bisexual" on Twitter and then spouting all the "the woman she loved uwu" shit in the books (proving he has no idea what he's talking about), eVeRyOnE iS bI eVeNtUaLlY. He can only write half-decent rep when he's not trying and he inevitably outs himself as having a really shitty attitude towards those people anyway, proving that ultimately it's all either unintentional rep or performative wokeness.

[pact-mom-kyrie]

Hello pals. It’s been One of Those Weeks, and I really, really need to think about something good. Something that makes me feel better, you know? A story that makes me feel happy and hopeful.

As always, shoutout to @disaster-bi-canach for the help, and @spiritofthetiger​ for making the small post that made ditch insomnia and write most of this at 2AM. This will go a bit personal because I have a lot of feelings and objectivity is a lie.

So, are you ready for the ride? Cool.

Let’s talk about Efram Greetsglory, Imperator of the Flame Legion.

One of the first things we, as players, know is this: the charr shamans are assholes. I don’t know the details, but the GW1 veterans among us know everything. They used to hang out with Pyre Fierceshot, and that guy was really pissed off with them, because of their deceit, their titan worshipping stuff and general jekass tyranny.

In GW2 you discover they have become the Flame Legion. Still alive, still burning everything, still treating charr females as second class people even after Kalla Scorchrazor kicked their asses in the most spectacular way. Their Imperator, Geheron Baelfire, wants to become a god (and almost does if it wasn't for a human, a charr, and some meddling adventurers). After the defeat, they join this maniac terrorist sylvari and create one of the worst refugee crises in Tyria. In short, they are still the absolute fucking worst.

And years later, in what has to be the greatest charr party ever, they are there. Like any other legion. With a flag and a camp and everything, just as if nothing had ever happened. Crecia Stoneglow, the most level headed character in the whole map, asks you to talk with their Imperator. After knowing Geheron Baelfire, you can expect the worst. I mean, they are the worst after all.

But then you arrive at their camp and something happens.

(By now you’re used to the staunch militaristic and practical outlook of the charr. You have fixed tanks, fought ghosts, and enjoyed a metal concert. Rough stuff. What is expected of huge furry spartan engineers. And once again, you have no reason to think it would be any different this time)

But the Flame Legion ‘Imperator’ doesn't want you to do magic or fetch stuff, he wants you to console cubs.

Female cubs, that is, including his daughter. The big guy representing The Misogynistic Legion™ wants you to assure little bullied girls that it will be alright, that they are strong and worthy. That they don’t have to be ashamed of their magic or their origins. And after you do it, he asks his daughter, in a concerned dad voice, how about going back to the fahrar, to give it another chance.

At this time, you just wonder what the hell is going on?! Is it a ploy? Is it a lie? Why? Why why why why? Who the hell is this guy?!

And you will have three episodes to know why: because the Flame Legion, under his leadership, has changed. A lot.

You hear about a bloody civil war, about them being a splinter cell tired of war and suffering. A Legion that curses their old Imperator, and now is facing cultural genocide by having their cubs being raised by others. You see their females fighting too, telling their own stories of how they were exploited, and now they feel ostracized for being from the Flame Legion.

You start to realize that maybe it's not a ploy. It’s real. And its represented by this big old charr with a lot of horns, the one that showed himself not as a political and military leader, but as a concerned dad. Efram Greetsglory, the ‘Imperator’, the leader of a band of charr who decided to listen to Crecia, a cub born from one of their own.

During the story, Efram calls out a war crime, threatening to kill Smodur the Unflinchable, a charr that commands one of the greatest war machines in Tyria. He always gives his enemies the benefit of surrender, he does not enjoy the fights and tries to honor the dead. After the assassination of Smodur, he recognized that the Iron Legion Imperator was right, that his people are poisoned to the bone. He is maybe one of the few charr that realizes that his militaristic culture is doomed to an endless cycle of blood and conquest.

And because of that, he gets called out for being soft, for being too forgiving. He knows his Legion wants to be recognized as part of a greater society. He understands why some have betrayed him and the other Imperators for the hollow promise of power, rebirth, and redemption. He is just… kind, totally, unexpectedly, incredibly, kind.

He is also one of the most powerful and badass elementalists you can find in-game. Huge fire tornadoes and power to melt solid doors made of ice and all that stuff. He is a shaman and has earned his place, no doubt. He could be one of the Baelfire pretenders (he even has the same outfit), but he isn’t. His kindness is a choice, not something that just happened. 

All of this to say something simple. I really love this guy.

Like damn, I love a lot of characters in this game who are just kind people, but I didn't expect a huge charr from The Problematic Legion™ to be one of them. One who is part of maybe the greatest unseen redemption story in the history of Tyria. A character that is not scared of change, who goes above and beyond to build a new world, a better world.

Now, in these harsh times, when everything seems to happen all  at once, this is the story I really want, one that I really need. So, with that, let’s begin again.

Hi, I'm Ren. I live in a harsh place, full of harsh people.

And I love Efram Greetsglory, because that huge cat shows us that to build a new world, we have to be kinder, to honor the good in everyone, to recognize the faults and the qualities of our cultures, and try to be better. Efram shows that the cure against Bangar, against fascist death cult bullshit, is to fight with a flaming fist and a merciful heart.

And that is amazing, and it has helped me a lot in these hard times.

So, thank you Anet. And thank you reader, for being here.

Never thought I would ever say this but… for Flame Legion.

[hellraisered]

Can you make my order, please? Dynamic Alpha, Beta and Omega as the slachers (Michael, Jason, Brahms, Pyramid Head, Harry Warden and another assacino of their choice) were in the heat? How did they treat their S/O? And what dynamic would they fit?

the way that this ask was phrased has confounded me for several days. its invaded my thoughts in the middle of the night, plagued me for weeks. 

i don't write a/b/o or nsfw content and i don't understand half of these words. have random headcanons instead

michael myers: 

michael bites his nails a lot. you don’t see him take off his mask very often, but his nails are always as short as he can possibly make them. his hands are also covered in numerous tiny scars and cuts, some of which have gotten infected. he’s a scab picker, and doesn’t let anything heal.

he also doesn’t shower - he has lice, but it doesn’t particularly bother him. he’s not particularly enthused at the concept of being well groomed - it’s a waste of time for him, and being naked and vulnerable in a bathtub isn’t something he fancies.

jason voorhees: 

jason enjoys bird watching. it’s very calming to him, and it was something that his mother used to enjoy; he knows the names of most, if not all of the birds in the area, and is often careful not to disturb any nests in the forest in fear of scaring them off. tends to stick to eating squirrel, racoon or deer meat and will try to avoid fowl if he can. 

while he enjoys being doted upon, and being taken care of, he enjoys doing the opposite to his partner as well. successfully emulating his mother’s kinder behaviors makes him feel like he’s accomplishing something, allowing her to ‘live on’ in a way, even if he can’t do it well - ex: cooking, sewing and such.

harry warden: 

admittedly not a valentines day enthusiast. wasn’t into the holiday before the incident, and certainly wasn’t fond of it after what happened.

claustrophobic, but emotionally stunted enough so that it’s little more than a faint gnawing in the back of his mind. if he were functional then he’d lose his absolute shit in tight, dark spaces.

sucks at minecraft. fucking garbage at it

pyramid head:

in all honesty, there’s not much to be said about them. they are a manifestation of guilt, pain and sexual frustration with no real depth or personality barring purpose. they function mainly based on instinct, only caring to reach an end to their means. doesn’t mean they’re not hot as hell though.

brahms heelshire:

i don’t write for him, and i’ve also never watched the entirety of the film, but i imagine that he, like michael, also has lice. in his beard as well. 

[officially-dumb]

WOOO I very much hesitated on making this post because I’ve been sorting out my own thoughts on it for a while but I think I finally figured out how I feel about it all and felt like throwing it out there.

Warning for bnha spoilers below the cut. Tldr in the tags.

Just to preface all of this, I don’t believe Hawks made the wrong decision with Twice because I don’t think the situation was black and white enough for there to be a right and wrong decision. Do I think that Twice deserved to die? No. Do I think that Hawks made the choice to kill someone that, if allowed to escape, would have killed a Whole Lot of People? Yes. Personally, I think he chose the decision that not just saved more lives, but also the decision that prioritized non-combatants, since the PLF planned to take the fight into various cities in Japan. In light of this, be aware that I’m writing this from the perspective of those who do believe he made the wrong decision and that he needs to be punished in some way for his choice. MOVING ON

I have an issue with how redemption and atonement is discussed in fandom. And my controversial opinion is: suffering is not a requirement for character growth or atonement, and we should stop treating it like it is. I don’t think there’s a certain amount of punishment someone has to face in order to be a better person. To be a better person, you just have to... choose to be, and act on that choice. That’s it. That is the only requirement for a redemption arc.

Positive character growth doesn’t have to come from pain. Hell, personally it breaks my suspension of disbelief when I see a character undergo positive development after suffering, since I just find that incredibly not true to life. A character does not have to reach a certain threshold for pain or suffering before their redemption can be completed, or for their redemption to be genuine. People change without punishment, especially the kind of violent and punitive punishments that are usually suggested as proper retribution.

I don’t think Bakugou should lose his quirk or arms in retribution for bullying Izuku. I don’t think Hawks should lose his wings and be cast away by hero society and the Commission as cosmic punishment for killing Twice. Hell, I don’t even think Endeavor should be killed for abusing his family, especially considering his confirmed living family members, whose opinions on this matter the most, have expressed they don’t want him to die.

At a certain point, it feels like the emphasis is on the punishment, rather than the lesson learned. 

I also question this: If the three characters I talked about above have to be maimed/killed/tortured/etc. in order to properly atone for their actions, what does that mean for the LoV, who all have pretty high body counts at this point? I usually only see redemption for the League discussed in terms of “Are they too far gone?” (spoiler: I don’t think there is such a thing), but I do question what kind of “punishment” would allow them to be redeemed according to the definition I see thrown around in fandom. If Hawks needs to be maimed, cast out by the HPSC, cast out of general society, and have his actions be for nothing because he killed one man, what is an appropriate level of suffering for a redemption for any members of the League?

What kills me about this whole viewpoint is that I get it. Like, I was raised Christian: the idea of redemption through suffering is not new to me in any way. But all of my life experience as an adult has convinced me that pain and trauma does not make a better person, or a kinder person, or a reformed person. At the end of the day, I think someone trying to repair the harm they caused is a lot more valuable to me than trying to inflict the same amount of harm back onto them. The latter doesn’t feel like any kind of justice.

If life is precious, then life is precious. Life is not a zero sum game where cosmic forces make sure that everyone suffers in equal measure. If you believe that Hawks should not have killed Twice no matter what because he is still a person, then I don’t see how you can also think that Hawks needs to be punished in a life-destroying way as retribution.

So far, in its redemption arcs, BNHA seems to be working from the viewpoint that a person atoning for their actions is more important than them suffering for them. I hope this message continues on in the series with any other characters that are redeemed, because I personally find it a lot more compelling than a message of “Pain makes you a better person”.

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Hey! just saw your ask opening. I wanted to send prompt for Stony for marvel fics. New couple Steve/Tony,2012 Avengers. Top Tony / bottom Steve. very new relationship for Tony. Steve demands attention, pouts if Tony is late. Makes Tony eat and sleep. Always makes breakfast for Tony, takes lunch to his office sometimes. Changes things in the penthouse just a coushion or a painting and decorating. Tony feels its finally a home. Jarvis and bots treat Steve like the first lady of the tower. 1/3

Prompt Continued: Tony takes care of Steve, takes him out reintroduces him to New York, the world. Is always open for PDA. Makes Steve blush, Pulls chairs for him, opens door, kisses him on the cheek, in front of the team and Steve just turns red but cannot stop smiling. Tony is also romantic in the bedroom. Takes care of Steve but sometimes rough and feral and then Tony gets possessive and leaves hickeys. Steve gets really loud during sex and just moans and loses it, the Team laughs at and teases him for it.Steve makes sure they are always at team movie nights and dinner. Tony is just so giddy at his mother hening and holds him by the wais in the kitchen and just sways with him. Steve just makes his life worth living. He is Tony's sunshine. Tony is so thankful he asked him out and Steve said yes. Sometimes Steve just cuddles up to him and falls asleep in his arms. Cries when he is sad and Tony does everything to make him smile and just holds him. Tony falls for him harder than ever all over.

You can also find this on Archive!

Everything had changed when they finally got together. Steve often thought about that when he was wrapped in the warm arms of his lover with the familiar energy of the Arc Reactor pressed flush against his back. Tony slept so infrequently, though that too was changing, that mornings like this became time for Steve to mull over his thoughts like the slow mornings that he used to have with his mother back before she succumbed to tuberculosis. 

While Steve did miss his old life, he also enjoyed the life that he had made for himself in the future. He loved Tony with his whole heart, and was beginning to love this modern version of New York. It was easier to understand it when he had someone that he trusted so much. Tony was there every little moment when Steve became overwhelmed. He seemed to have an endless kind of patience when Steve needed something repeated to him so that he could try to understand it. Everything was so strange and different. Nothing was even remotely similar to the way that it had been when Steve was living here, and none of it was anything like the science fiction books and shows that he had seen either. To anyone else, it would have been so overwhelming that it would literally be mind-shattering. But Steve had Tony standing by his side and helping him through it, so he knew he could handle it.

When he said that Tony was the love of his life, he really meant it. He hadn’t dated that many people before his transformation into Captain America because he had been too scrawny to be appealing to anyone. Bucky had always been there, and the two of them had basically skirted around dating for their entire adult lives. He and Peggy had basically done the same thing, but he considered it a bit more like dating because they had actually been physically intimate with each other. After both of those relationships, Tony had seemed like a complete blessing.

Now, with Tony and with the change in prudence due to the times, he was allowed to show how much he loved another man without fear. He didn’t have to worry about being beaten to death or shamed because of his sexuality. He didn’t have to worry about what his friends and family were going to think about his choice in partner, other than the fact that Tony wasn’t exactly a popular person because of his own history with sex. He could enjoy their relationship and didn’t have to worry about being slightly sexual or romantic around their friends.

That being said, Tony wasn’t exactly the easiest person to be dating. He often forgot to eat or sleep at regular, human times. Steve was able to remedy that pretty well because he didn’t have a lot of other things to occupy his time. He would bring Tony meals or drag him upstairs so that his lover would eat with the rest of their friends. He also found that because he was taller than his lover, he could just pick Tony up and literally drag him to bed when it was time for sleep. Tony used to have trouble sleeping due to his trauma, both from their first fight as the Avengers and because of the events that led to him becoming Iron Man. Steve was able to sooth these as well because he had more than his fair share of trauma and PTSD from the war and his own fights. 

Outside of not knowing how to take care of himself, Tony could also be a right ass when it came to being compassionate. He had never learned how to deal with other humans when he was younger because of how isolated he had been (first because he didn’t go to public school and then because of how smart he was). They had more arguments than a lot of couples did about Tony saying or doing something that was rude and hurtful. Steve could see that he was at least making an attempt to become a better person and move on, though. 

He could see it with the way Tony stopped before he said something degrading and hurtful, and chose to say something else. He could see when Tony took a moment to do something nice for someone else that didn’t just involve spending ungodly amounts of money on them. Tony was beginning to remember things like birthdays, anniversaries, names, and the like. He had remembered the other day that Clint was deaf and spent a while learning enough ASL to get by as well as making sonic arrows that wouldn’t interfere with his hearing aide. Clint had been very touched with it, even if he did thank Steve behind the scenes. 

Tony was still a gentleman and a good person at the end of the day even if he didn’t know his way around people. He would do little things that someone might think he had an ulterior motive for. He did things like opening doors, pulling out chairs, and pretty much everything else that went with the old-timey chivalry that Steve had grown up dreaming about. 

The blond flushed a little bit as his mind strayed over to their sexual life. Tony was just as romantic and gentlemanly when it came to the bedroom as well. He would often spend hours upon hours worshipping his lover’s body and telling him how much he loved him before they got to the good part. That didn’t mean that he acted like that all the time. Every so often, Steve’s beautiful, flawed boyfriend would get so jealous that he nearly went feral. Steve still loved that kind of sex, even if it did leave him feeling sore and covered in bruises the next day. Whatever kind of sex that they had, the blond always had hickies all the way up his neck the day before.

The team was perfectly fine with their relationship as well, despite coming from all different walks of life. They were almost like Steve’s new family, even if no family would ever really be complete without Bucky. They teased the two of them, but none of them dared to go beyond a certain point like he had almost been expecting. Bucky had other friends back when they were younger and those friends used to tease the two to the point of making even Bucky cry. Steve cried easily, so that wasn’t a hard accomplishment.

The team weren’t the only inhabitants in the tower to treat him nicely, though. The bots in Tony’s lab as well as JARVIS also seemed to be kinder than normal to him. With JARVIS it could have been because Steve wasn’t very familiar with the world and so gave the AI more attention and thanks than anyone else in the tower. With the bots it was most likely because Steve remembered all of their names and would actually say hello to them when they noticed him in the lab. The blond was very fond of the bots, and even fonder of the way that his boyfriend almost treated them like his children.

Tony let out a worried noise behind him, and that brought the blond out of his thoughts for just a moment. He rolled over and placed a comforting hand on his lover’s face. Steve brought their foreheads together and let out a small, comfortable sigh. Tony wiggled closer to the warmth of the blond, burying his face into Steve’s neck. The other man chuckled softly and wrapped his arms around the small man so that he was completely enveloped in his hold. Hopefully he would stay asleep for just a little longer, and manage to get the entire eight hours of sleep that they always aimed for.

The morning sun was beginning to creep into the huge floor to ceiling windows that ringed the room, illuminating the carpet and hardwood floor. During the remodel, Steve had been there to stop Tony from doing anything too impersonal. Pepper had been good for him while she lasted, but she decided that Tony was far too much for her to deal with when he was also being a superhero on top of all of his other issues. She hadn’t been the driving force in Tony’s life that he needed, anyway. Not the way that Steve could be.

With his help, Tony’s house had been turned into something resembling a bit more of a home instead of a barren place that you would see in a magazine. It wasn’t anything big, just choosing warmer colors and thinking of practicality instead of flashy-ness when they had been repairing the damage done by Loki during the Battle of New York. After that, Steve had subtly brought in throw blankets and some of his artwork. Slowly, with the help of the superhero and the rest of their team, the penthouse suite that Tony inhabited had become a home instead of just another space to occupy.