#its confusing me as to how long they have known each other tbh

[hauntedhotel]

Finally got around to a re-listen of TMA and with the benefit of hindsight Jon’s initial hostility towards Martin is so ridiculous! In the very first episode he says he doesn’t even count Martin as an assistant as he's "unlikely to contribute anything but delays" but based on what? They barely know each other at this point so is his entire vendetta against Martin - to the point where Jon idly wishes for him to get chopped up by Angela the jigsaw witch - just because of The Dog Incident?

There's no way Martin is so terrible at his job that Jon could have valid criticism of his work that early on, and Martin came down to the Archives from the library, he’s probably the only person down there with the vaguest idea of what archivists are supposed to be doing! He's been working at the institute for 10 years or so and no one other than their mind-reading, eldritch horror boss ever twigged that he wasn't qualified, so there's no way he wasn't at least capable.

And if Jon does already think he's useless, it's probably because he's acting as though he's still in research and Martin is actually doing something adjacent to archiving.

Martin gets the transfer and he's kind of nervous cause a new boss means someone else to potentially be scrutinising his CV but he figures - it's archiving, it's cataloguing and filing and documenting, it's not so different from what he’s been doing in the library for a decade, he can handle this. It's only when he meets Jonathan "wtf is an archivist?" Sims and hears "okay so Tim is sleeping with the lead police officer on this murder case and Sasha has already hacked the guys home and office computers, I need you to harass this witness to make sure they don't want to refute their statement" that he thinks he might be in over his head.

It really only gives you three possible options:

1. He really is determined to never get over The Dog Incident.

2. He actually recognises that Martin seems to know a fair bit about archiving and is so afraid that at least two, possibly three of his assistants might actually be better qualified for the job than him that he’s lashing out.

3. He took one look at Martin and thought, "I've got a jam-packed schedule of stapling priceless documents, bitching about statement-givers on tape and running away from the spiders in my office, I cannot afford to get distracted by that guy's cute face and big sad eyes" and immediately did everything possible to push him away.

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 1

oooh and now we have another countdown - this time its five days until the tomb opens! which is both concerning and mildly confusing given Harrow already opened the tomb

and a new image for the chapter header - not an animal skull or a skull at all but a cave with chains over it! presumably representing the tomb itself which in of itself is very intriguing

‘Late in the year of nobody she really thought of in particular’ hah

ok so Nona’s dreaming of a painted face … the first two immediate options that come to mind are Gideon and Harrow, clearly. in a body of water, could it be the River? or possibly, if the ‘her’ in ‘her hands’ she’s talking about is Alecto, it could be the saltwater of the tomb?

so far the first thing thats struck me is just how sweet the relationship between Nona and Camilla is 

‘A beaker of violently orange liquid, radioactively orange even in the dark’ what the fuck kinda eggs are these guys eating

and Nona has black hair! very long black hair which grows fast, which very much suggests that this is Harrow’s body, given what Ianthe did to her hair last book. this also pretty much rules out another initial theory i had for Nona, which was that she might have been in Gideon’s body, since we know that was picked up by the BoE last book

and another point for being some kind of amnesiac Harrow - Nona appears to have a lot of issues with eating 

Okay … so Camilla and Pal are sharing Camilla’s body, kind of a reverse of Gideon-in-Harrow last book, but not quite given that they somehow seem to have swapped each-others eye colours. It’s not just that they’re sharing a body, since Gid & Harrow explicitly retained their own eye colours, but some kind of other situation

hmm Nona seems relatively upbeat, but there’s a lot of conversation about militia links and black market goods, life wherever they are doesn’t seem all that great tbh

and they’re hiding something about the overall situation they’re in from Nona, and its very unclear whose side they’re on. given the end of the last book, the fact they seem to be in some kind of hiding on a non-House planet, I doubt they’re fully with the Emperor/Nine Houses. but then they definitely don’t seem to be onboard with, and have a very uneasy relationship with, the Blood of Eden, especially given the whole kinda-Lyctorhood situation they’ve got going on. 

and there’s an awful lot going on here. they keep mentioning a search and recovery mission, which begs the question for what exactly are they looking for. it can’t be the Tomb or anything because its pretty well known where THAT is. and Pal and Pyrrha have very different philosophies on whatever’s happening - Pal seems to want to help some kind of situation with people trapped in barracks, while Pyrrha thinks its not worth it. and on top of all of that BoE is not quite one cohesive group as it was described in HtN, there’s some kind of inter-organisational conflict going on. 

‘I know how to farm … I can teach you and Nona’ rip G1deon who never got to live his Stardew Valley dreams. Locked Tomb: the Farming Simulator when?

also it is interesting that even G1deon, seemingly the most loyal of the Emperor’s lyctors (or at least the only one seemingly not actively trying to kill him) still had a backup plan and wanted to run away to just lead some kind of a normal life

and they need masks of some kind? and Nona’s immune - more points for her being Harrow, or at least in Harrow’s body, Nona’s body clearly works like a Lyctors 

oh shit there’s a mysterious blue light in the sky that’s ‘periscoping’? It could be some kind of surveillance but i think its far more likely to be the seventh Resurrection Beast, which is there for … some reason? Lotta questions raised just in this one chapter

[through-frost-and-flames]

you know, as someone who has been following this comic for a long long time (almost from the start. and is likely one of the worst offenders when it came to spam liking since i used likes to keep track of where i was. for that i apologize, but i digress.) and as someone who is very interested in psychology, the inner workings of the mind, what compels people to behave the way they do, etc., you have truly gone above and beyond here.

you are clearly so passionate about your characters, all of them (even if sootsky is somewhat of an exception, i still feel as though he means something to you as a character because you wrote for him and he developed at your hand) no matter how misguided, stubborn/uncooperative, and/or fueled by unsettled conflicts, unprocessed trauma mental turmoil they are; because you understand them.

they aren't just characters to you; they're like your "children" for lack of a better comparison. they're entirely three-dimensional to you and, although I'm not implying by any means that you don't see them as fictional, you breathed so much life into them that i truly do think that they have become something so special and alive. their world truly is that: a whole other World, with every individual living their own lives with their own thoughts, feelings, and motives, and while you obviously control what happens and make changes/add lore as you see fit, i truly do believe that these characters are telling their own stories through you.

i'm not sure if i'm being coherent/clear here as i am a highly abstract thinker and oftentimes overexplain things in an attempt to make it more understandable when it actually has the opposite effect and makes my thoughts more confusing/hard to understand. if i said anything that is incorrect, inaccurate, or pushing any of your boundaries, i deeply apologize. i just wanted to take the time and write out my thoughts to you in an attempt to say that i am so very impressed with the depth of this comic about cats with an origin from a game with randomly-generated events. again, it is so clear that you have put immense thought into each and every character, and your passion for this project is both admirable and very clear to any of your audience who are taking the time to analyze and read unbiased. and, even if some people aren't exactly doing that, there is no one who can deny the amount of effort you have put into this comic and how much you have accomplished in so little time.

you don't have to answer this ask or anything, so please don't feel obligated to. i don't require a response; it just feels nice to finally express my thoughts about this comic to you and it feels like the appropriate time to do so with the finale finally here and a new start coming soon.

i hope you have a wonderful day/night and that however long or short this next arc of the comic may be (and any other potential arcs/spinoffs), it brings you so much joy and pride. it certainly has given me a very complex and interesting story that i both enjoy and find incredibly thought-provoking/very relevant to my interests and studies. keep on doing what you're doing so long as it makes you feel good!

-crookedanchors / warriorwhiskers 💛

THIS IS SUCH A NICE ASK ur so right btw

I tend to put myself in my characters shoes and feel what they feel and I write how they're thinking and feeling from the heart

Some characters are inspired in places by real people I've known / their mindset and even me myself (but most characters arent)

Its crazy to me that I've managed to do all this tbh I've never created complex characters like this before this comic

This has all been very experimental for me

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy, Depression

Another week passed and I was still at my Grandparents. I’ve been here for 3 weeks now. Even my Cuz went back to university. Yesterday I had my exam. At least this thing went well. I passed it with almost maximum points. And yet I couldn’t be happy about it for long. I wasn't feeling well. My depression had reached its peak again, so I couldn't go to work this morning. I lay in bed all day long, staring at my walls. This still felt better than leaving my room. Just thinking about it, overwhelmed me. But I called my therapist. I told her I was pregnant. I haven’t seen her in weeks. Those group sessions I once mentioned, were okay, but I missed much. Anyway, she wanted to see me. She asked me to come to her practice tomorrow, to talk about my panic attacks and some other stuff. She also advised me to continue my medication.

 My Grams was worried about me. She noticed that Nico didn’t come to me anymore. So I told her he broke up with me and that I had to divorce Daniel. And I’m going to file the divorce petition, but getting a divorce is not as easy as I thought. Tbh, it seemed impossible!?? That... person/DA, who handled my divorce, simply did not accept the reasons I gave her for my divorce. She said it would take at least a year, bcs Daniel wasn’t there, and who knows? Maybe we’ll make up, she meant. 😡...Agh, it's going to be complicated. And Daniel will be back soon anyway. Nevertheless, we will not divorce, but we’re not gonna be together either. 😫

That evening, my Parents and my Sister came by at my Grandparents. My Mom wanted to know what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I come back home? My Grams was a little tense when my Mom started to get upset about me. But my Mom was just worried. I was pregnant! What happens now? Do I keep the Baby or not? This was still not quite clear. I had an abortion appointment in 3 days. My Grams got so mad at my mom for talking about that! But my Mom never told me to abort my Baby neither my Dad! They just didn’t know what I really wanted!!??... Am I getting a divorce? Am I keeping Nico's Baby? Why isn't he here? Are we even together? And why am I alone in my room crying? My Parents wanted answers!

And Ana was still confused about my pregnancy. She still thought Dennis might have knocked me up. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️Ana thought I was so sad because of that. So she finally decided to talk to me about this thing! She came over to my room. But somehow we both did not succeed in talking to each other. I admit, it was hard for me to look at Ana, without having to think about Adam. I mean..... I don’t hate Adam. Still, what he did to me was disgusting. And Ana also had that gross pic of Adam and me in her mind. She didn't feel comfortable around me. Ana & I weren’t mad at each other, we just needed some time, I think. 😞

Ana: Hey, A..... You ok?

Me: Hi 🫤

Ana: I’ve known you were pregnant for 4 weeks, I noticed when you took a pregnancy test. I didn’t want to ask you about it. You know?..... I’m happy for you, if you want a Baby, but... I’m not happy for Daniel. 😞

Me: Yea, that’s why I can’t be happy about it, even though I want a Baby.

Ana: You don’t have to...... do this, if you’re not sure. 🙁

Me: I love N. 😞

Ana: Honestly, A.! Can it be that you do not know exactly who you are pregnant from?? Dennis, you know? You were totally high! Maybe you slept with him and don’t remember?

Me: It's Nico's Baby. Trust me, I know when and how it happend! And I didn't sleep with Dennis!! We were going to, but... well, you know what happend. Adam interfered. And before you ask.... NO, I didn’t sleep with Adam!!

Ana: I know! He was just a few mins alone with you.

Me: You staying here tonight?

Ana: Why don’t you come home?

Me: Um.... I’m tired.

Ana: Ok...... I go back over.... Grama fears Mom and Dad will soon get divorced too, like our stupid uncle....

Me: I don't care. They are 41! They’ll know what they’re doing.

Ana: Whatever you say.

Like I said, I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to Ana. Honestly, I also felt a bit humbled because she thought I didn’t know who I was pregnant with.

Previous/Next

[cinnamon-todd]

neutral - jason todd x f!reader

a//n: i was jus in a silly goofy mood... this has not been proofread, just felt like writing tbh. i will start being more descriptive with my tags and warnings bc I realize I am stupid for not doing so.

warnings: none?

summary: jason being a good friend to the reader, letting her rant about her love life but hey there's a surprise for her!!!!

"its hard, sometimes..." she mumbles quietly, barely audible to the man next to her.

they sit adjacent to each other on the swing set, a nice feature the Waynes had added to their backyard.

the weather today was neutral. not too cold, not too hot. it came surprisingly to the two adults as yesterday it was pouring rain, Gotham's usual weather. but today it was neutral. the wind blew strong enough to move their calloused hair, but not too strong to be distracting or irritating that they had to make their way back inside - it was neutral.

"i know, you've mentioned that like 10 times." his snarky comment made her look up in annoyance.

she was met with his playful smile, and she tried her best to bite her smile. "you just know how to push my buttons, todd."

"hey," he nudged her shoulder, "one bad date doesn't mean the rest of them will be bad."

"no," she huffs, "but i dont even wanna bother with it, its exhausting."

he nods, unsure what to say next. she took this as a cue to continue, "I am in no interest to look for it, yet I still have this urge to find it. I'm always disappointed when I find someone who is willing to try it, but..."

find the right words, why arent the right words coming to her, why is she stumped.

"but?"

"but im not sure. as much as I can say 'the right one will come along', I'm not even sure if I want the right one, or even yet, know if it'll ever come."

"yeah,"

"its just so confusing, conflicting, just downright annoying." she continued as her best friend listened attentively. "I'm just so on the fence about it all. somedays I can be all for love, other days I just don't want it at all."

"Understandable."

"is it?" she asks, facing the man once again. he studied her face, confused, afraid, unsure. "I feel like there's something wrong with me. why cant I at least try?".

it wasnt a question, she didn't expect a response, but as the good man Jason Todd was, he gave his honest opinion.

"well," he clears his throat, "maybe that's the thing."

she looks at the man with a quizzical look, encouraging him to continue.

"maybe the partner that you need is someone who understands all that. someone that can respect it, someone that knows it, and expects it."

she looks down at the bark that lays as a flooring for the mini playground. unsure where he was going with this, she knew Jason would always be honest with her, but sometimes its hard to listen to the truth.

"you are someone who is always on the fence, very indecisive." he continues, "you are someone who doesn't need to be guided, but does enjoy it when someone gives their opinion because lord knows your judgement isn't the best."

"Todd..." she says sternly.

"hold on, lemme finish..." he says, "its sounds like to me that you need someone who you are comfortable with, that you've known a long time. someone that has to be very patient with you."

she nods.

"you hate to rush into things, yet you are very last minute with most things." they chuckle at the truth. "but that's what makes you, you."

she smiles at the end of his ramble. she knew Todd was one with words, yet he did surprise her with this number. "Thanks, Todd."

"Im not done yet," he says causing her to look up confused, what more could he add?

"you need someone like me,"

"Tod-"

"you dont have to say anything right now," he cuts her off, "I just want you to know that I like you, a lot. I understand that you are someone who can feel very overwhelmed, anxious, and so many emotions."

"but i hope that you know," he takes a deep breath, "that I understand that."

[femmesandhoney]

i have a genuine question. what is your friendship like with your trans man friend? i have people that i care about who have come out as trans but i always find myself emotionally withdrawing because i have gender critical beliefs and feel inauthentic hiding my beliefs/being silent when those discussions come up.

well i've known her since middle school and she started socially transitioning then too. i go back and forth between male and female pronouns for her when i speak of her tbh just because i've always known her to be trans and have respected that for as long as i've known her, but i also at the same time don't think she's a man so it's weird when i speak about her to others lol if i use male pronouns its just bc i've used them for her since we were like 13 sorry.

our friendship is fine. any areas of disagreement i've had with her throughout our friendship have never been about her gender dysphoria or identity, she's always been the first to acknowledge she's female with gender dysphoria and that transitioning has eased a lot of her dysphoria for the most part. she's not wholly better mentally, but she's happy and engaged and she is one of the better success stories for women who've transitioned socially and medically. i do not honestly think she's a good representation of all tifs experiences now that i'm learned more about the medical institution and its preying on children and girls, but i'm personally happy my friend at least doesn't seem likely in the future to be regretful.

we really don't discuss gender identity and trans rights and stuff when we hang out or talk, just because we've known each other so long we have a lot more in common to talk about that isn't discourse-y. i do try to just stay away from the discourse stuff though because we're not like best friends lol, but we're good long term friends and i don't see a reason to ruin that relationship by trying to fight her about stuff we rarely discuss anyways. i want her to remember our relationship with kindness, no need for her to think i hate her out of the blue. i know she would react out of hurt and anger rather than try to have any discussion with me (she's always been the type) and so i would rather just treat her gently with all the love i have for her rather than confuse her and make her think i hate her and women like her, which just isn't true. does that make sense? like there's a point where a white lie keeps the peace because you know how someone else will react since you've known them so long. she knows i'm a lesbian and progressive and politically where i stand, but since trans rights are so personal to her, i know she wouldn't be able to hear me out calmly. i have no wanting to make her think something i don't of her, so yeah.

[lanchang]

Hey! I just wanted to hop on here and say that I am /obsessed/ with your vortex posting. Everything about it is so juicy and dramatic I love it. I’m just a little confused on wether HC is also cheating on XL or not? I think that could be such an interesting dynamic to explore where they’re both cheating on each other somehow. Like maybe through the 800 years long period where he was looking for XL HC started to develop feelings for someone else (maybe HX or YY?) and just felt /so/ guilty and immediately repressed that shit because how dare he not be 100% in love and devoted to dianxia and well we all know how repressing yourself for 800 years goes lol. Obviously it’s your fic and I’m not trying to tell you what to do at all I just think it would be interesting and I wanted to know your thoughts on it

(Also if you’re still looking for mulian song recs then lacy by Olivia Rodrigo is /so/ mulian-coded to me)

thank you 🥹🥹🥹 i truly do appreciate the support and enthusiasm it keeps me going and im glad other people think its interesting and juicy and enjoying the DRAMA!! right now i dont have any plans for hc also cheating but i dooooo think its an interesting concept!! repressing yourself for 800 years does not come without its complications!! i do really like the idea of hc straying or thinking about straying while he was looking for xl and ive toyed with it a bit before!! i really wish we had hc's perspective from that time i think it would have been a much stronger story if hc HAD experienced doubts and developed feelings for someone else i think it would have made his devotion to xl stronger or at least more interesting. i would like to explore some hc extramarital sex if i get that far i mean tbh i have no idea how i would end this whole thing the vortex has sucked me in too its dark in here but also so exciting.... and he would feel so guilty and bad about it and idk sorry but i think its compelling and kinda hot when men feel shame about sex!!! even though i know its not a nice feeling!!! maybe its just relatable but anyway even if xl was already cheating i think hc would still feel guilty about having sex with anyone else because that would be admitting that his love for xl isnt enough for himself either...

i am really intrigued by the idea of huaxuan tbh i dont think they would have been casually fucking the whole 800 years that doesnt make sense to me but idk i want to know more about their relationship!!! and in my wildest dreams i think it would be interesting to mess around with gender since while both of them seem to prefer their male forms they have been known to appear as women so idk what i would do with that but it floats around in my head sometimes!! also omg LACY i think i did get that as a rec before but never added it to the playlist anyway i listened to it again and SOOOOO TRUE!!!!

[desiprincess111]

Hey how’ve you been? I’ve been reading your explanations on the Hindu scriptures and find them very interesting…I’ve recently been reading this book called I Am Not The Body , Discovering the Truth Beyond Bondage by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj and I think some of what was said in the book was quite similar. I was wondering how you personally reach the void and how the scriptures helped you?

Hiiii! I'm doing well and I loveeee your blog💗 I love the specific post about the I AM state from faith and fortune ( as I had never read faith and fortune, something clicked inside me when I saw your post 🌠 long story short, it helped me enter the void as I just focused on the I AM)

Well I have grown up as a Hindu....but I spent most of my life not wondering what tf it is and what does it mean to be one, like this term was something which I just used to tick off in the religion section of any important document.

Growing up hindu is confusing tbh....like my grandma used to do Puja/worship/rituals? everyday....but instead of Gods she used to keep images of some gurus in her altar. My mom was sort of following vedanta I guess( it's a school of thought from the Vedic path of Hinduism) while growing up I don't ever remember her telling me something about her path. My dad used to follow some guru in the past...but later in his life he turned into a nastika( people who don't believe in any creator and don't believe the major vedic scriptures to be of any knowledge)

As a result, I naturally became atheist. Also I was very very inclined towards science( it's hard to let go of logic, even to this day😔) my knowledge about hinduism was only reserved to polytheism, superstitions, idol worship and other stuff due to movies🤷 after discovering everything ( I started cuz like I became kind of a history geek, and discovered some really great philosophies)

The reason I'm telling you all this is hinduism is not hinduism. There is nothing called hinduism. The term “Hinduism,” is of relatively recent vintage. It was coined by Westerners in the 18th century as a convenient catch- all term for the “bewilderingly complex culture of dozens of languages and religious and cultural traditions” that early European explorers encountered in India. Each of these interrelated traditions conceptualizes the Supreme Divine in its own manner, though without disrespecting or disregarding the concepts of other schools.

Discovering law of assumption and Neville reaffirmed my belief in Indian traditions I guess... Earlier I was like no way consciousness is separate form the body, obviously its a by-product of the brain🤦‍♀️( but even science is not sure about this) So I'm still discovering things about my culture.... particularly shaktism ( cuz my ancestors were from a region which was known for shakta worship i.e worshipping goddesses and believing the ultimate reality is feminine)

I entered the by just focusing on the I AM. I AM pure consciousness. That's the only identity I have. Nothing else. Earlier before discovering the void I used to do a Hindu meditation which consisted of saying "I am not the body" & "I am not the mind" ( it's one of the spiritual practices of the kriya tradition) I guess that might have helped my subconscious....

it didn't take me long to enter the void. Just focusing on the 4D and destroying the separation of 4D & 3D while affirming in my mind, as I'm just pure consciousness from which everything emenates.

If you wanna know other stuff about "hinduism" you can msg me 😄

[supercantaloupe]

alright operablr might hate me for this one but i...was not wild about don carlo, tbh. i think it's kind of a mess. before i elaborate i want to stress that a lot of my opinions are taste based and i am not saying that the opera or anyone who likes it are Bad or Wrong, i just don't think it's quite For Me. adding a cut so you can ignore all this if you want

anyway after having seen both nabucco and don carlo within a week of each other (thereby doubling my previous experience with verdi of traviata and otello), i'm starting to feel like, stylistically, early/mid verdi is much more my speed than late verdi. i remember coming away from otello thinking "that was alright" whereas with nabucco and traviata i was thinking "wow that was great!"...after finishing don carlo last night i was just...confused. i feel like i'm missing something.

actually, i definitely am; i've seen people posting about recurring motifs and beautiful arias etc in the music and i definitely missed those. again, late verdi (along with a lot of late romantic music tbh) just Is Not My Thing, i think. and considering how late don carlo is in verdi's output i'm not surprised (very much a post-wagner composition, don carlo is. same with otello). i'm planning on writing a separate post about this so i won't go into much detail here but the music really lacked a lasting memorable-ness for me; what was there was nice, yes, but it didn't feel like anything stood out much. i mean, numbers like the brindisi and amami alfredo in traviata, va pensiero in nabucco, and la donna e mobile in rigoletto -- these all Stand Out, even after only a single listen, but i am not even 12 hours off watching don carlo and i don't think i could hum for you one of its melodies. again, this has a lot to do with personal taste; in general i tend to prefer 18th and early 19th century music styles, and i plan on going into more detail about memorable music in theater in a different post.

and man, the plot is a mess. also, not to apply too modern a lens of story criticism here, but the pacing is all over the place: act ii is, like, twice the length of act i, and act iv is no quick jaunt either, then v is pretty short again. (and really who am i to complain about a 3.5 hour runtime, as a giulio cesare fan, an opera which bumps up against 4? well, at least giulio cesare has a consistent if slow pace...)

it is all over the place. one moment it's a typical operatic romance, then a political intrigue, another it's a gay psychodrama, and then it's about the catholic church. i think this is a feature rather than a bug for some people but it really did not work for me. like it's all well and good watching rodrigo and carlo swearing their loyalty for one another in the most totally heterosexual way possible or making plans to save flanders or deal with carlo's embarrassing crush on his stepmom or whatever, but when the very next scene (with no real warning) is a public parade of heretics for shaming and burning...bit of a tonal whiplash there, i think!

again, taste is a factor here. known sexy oklahoma enjoyer sasha supercantaloupe is no stranger or opponent of tonal whiplash in theater, but when it comes to "no one expects the spanish inquisition!" i think there's a difference between guys with silly outfits and silly accents popping out from behind a corner and a crowd of people dressed in friar habits carrying crosses and torches around onstage...especially to a jewish viewer like me. the plot very much feels like something someone who doesn't like opera would make up to belittle the art form imo: it's like four different things at once all thrown together in a very long, kind of jumbled mess. (i mean, what does eboli even do other than show up, make things Even More Complicated, and then disappear within two acts?)

and...i get the sense that verdi/contemporary audiences might've thought this, too. obviously the fact that it got so many productions that it HAS so many different versions at all shows that people liked it enough to keep performing it -- but there being so many different versions of the opera (disregarding translations), four acts versus five, cut or revised arias, etc, i think also indicates that something about the opera was not working quite right that they kept trying to fix. now i've only seen one version (granted it came highly recommended to me by mutuals, but only one nonetheless) and can't comment on other versions of the opera; maybe another version works better for me, idk. on its own i actually think it's really interesting that there are so many different revisions out there to study -- a real lucky glimpse into the dramaturgical process that you don't normally get to see from shows of the era or earlier. (ask me about hadestown if you want to know more of my thoughts on changes made over the course of a show's development being for better or worse.) but the finished version of the opera (at least the version i saw) is a bit of a mess imo. i definitely think it has its high moments, but i don't think they completely overshadow its lows. comparing it again to otello, which was a much more consistent product in tone and pacing etc. to me, although a bit less interesting overall too.

i feel like i might be disappointing some people by saying all this lol but i have to be honest. don carlo was just not my thing. suffice to say that i think late verdi has absorbed too much wagnerism for my taste, musically and dramatically. maybe i'll rewatch it at some point -- i'd be curious to check it out in french this time -- but i don't expect to be doing that anytime soon, unless a friend or something is watching and really wants me to join (and i can spare four hours...). i can see why y'all like it (well, some of why y'all like it) and i do admit there's some good stuff in there to like. namely the carlo & rodrigo shit. i understand now lol. the opera definitely feels like it's ripe for shitpost/meme content and i am here for that. but i can't say this one is going at the top of my fave shows list. sorry everybody!

[luc1d-dr34m5]

I would love to know what the deal with dreadful harmony and happy chaos is 👀. They seems like fun together!

Yesss YESS YESSSSSSS sorry i am so excited as i type this rn just ajdjwjmJQHE HEHEHEHE THERE WILL BE MANY SPELLING MISTAKES IM SORRY

I might get some lore parts wrong since looking for other sources of GG lore is sadly not on my schedule so if u know other things then correct me

If it gets too long im putting it under a read more but but okay so basically so give a basis and such:

Dreadful Harmony was known as 'The Architect'. They are like, the other half of 'The Original' not in a literal sense but in a partners sense. They were Partners in the discovery of magic basically, while yes The Original still is the one who discovered the Backyard n got magic from there The Architect is the one who created a lot of the first spells ever. Due to this both of them are technically teachers of the Conclave and Asuka but to make sure theyre not confused, The Original is reffered to as 'Teacher' while The Architect is reffered to as 'Tutor'.

The Architect also has like, developed a magic theory called 'The Circle Theory' aka how circular forms of spells n such are the best way to express magic due to how imperfectly perfect it is and such, this one ill leave vague but basically this theory is kinda hard to grasp because theres a lot of intricacies in it. Asuka tends to use more geometrical shapes so while he can use Circle theory its a bit more taxing on him cuz hes not used to 'imperfection' in a sense.

Anhways on back to the YaoiYuri that is DH(Dreadful Harmony) and HC(Happy Chaos). The lore kinda changes here but tried to keep events close to canon/give explanations here. The Architect was trapped by the Universal Will like somewhere in the backyard bc they were the biggest threat at the time and this caused The Original to slip up and get caught as well. Anyways Things happen as plot like The Original getting out and wandering the backyard for years in a mad state but at the same time The Architect was absorbing all the info in the backyard like he was but instead of wandering theyre literally trapped and then The Original gets absorbed by the Universal will again so she can have an understanding of Human emotions only to like, fuck up bc of The Original aka Happy Chaos having become insane and flooded with pure human desire.

on the opposite end, The Architect lost all their humanity, their emotions their desires, not their memories, though, this does mark their shift to becoming Dreadful Harmony. Anyways Dreadful Harmony is like, freed after Lethargy's lore happens cuz Lethargy is like, DH and HC's missing humanity mashed together in a Valentine vessel HC got the Universal Will to make hence why Lethargy V. has free will i might elaborate more on Lethargy lore if wanted.

Bacl to DH and HC, their past relationship as The Original and Architect was romantic, they were abt to get married even. Its why DH's current outfit looks like a wedding dress in a way, cuz that was a very important moment in their life and yeah romantic love doesn't always define humanity but tbh these two are just, In Love. in general. Something that can be platonic and romantic and the spaces outside or betwene but the love is there and persists until now cuz like.

DH and HC call eachother their 'partner' and give like, diff answers each time asked if it was romantically or platonically. Even if DH doesnt have emotions nor desire they have Biases due to their memories and thus act upon said biases like how HC is so full of human desire he cannot truly love in the sense a normal person can. These two cannot love normally yet they still love eachother in their own ways. While HC lives for human emotion yet DH doesnt have any thus doesnt rlly deter the other so much cuz their love dosnt give either of them purpose.

If HC finds a purpose if DH is free from their prison theyll gladly follow along, filling up empty roles that oppose or support HC, either way they have the same goal for different reasons, HC cuz he cares abt humanity as a whole and DH because the world ending would be Horrible for the people they have Biases for. HC's reasons are selfless in a sense while DH's reasons are selfish yet regardless they aim for one goal so they go for it hand in unlovable hand clutching one another in a loving way.

They both are Wax figures, they direct and fill in empty roles as they see it in different manners and ways. Also demon imagery with Happy chaos and Angel imagery with Dreadful harmony is very intentional. Contrast babeyyy

Also to elaborate how their love for one another doesnt really count as a "Purpose" is cuz they both like Drama, Drama King n their Drama Queen, which is which u decide. Their love for ome another is so inherent they just know it'll always be there so why desperately cling onto it when its guaranteed to be there.

They are judt so RHRHRHRH TO ME not to mention the dynamic and relationship Dreadful Harmony has with Asuka is swimming in my brain alongside this just wkdjwnsnsn If things are confusing i can elaborate!! They are so silly to me.

[elegyofthemoon]

2nd eruption was SO GOOD it actually took me months to finish because it was so heavy emotionally to get through. but A++ manga id recommend it to ppl who dont even play the game haha

im so glad you love fu hua omg, youre gonna be so happy even more so down the line. and that chapter youre on is when i started falling for the hi3 story, as well as the first open world. when you get to the first open world/finish its main story, let me know! i think that might be a good time to send you the sakukallen event. itll still be confusing without context but id more than love to share what i remember of the story surrounding it

hoyo definitely seems to have learned from each preceeding game in terms of chronology and making things "easier" to get into imo. but you mention you have ideas and speculation and i'm all *eyes emoji*. tell me them! i wanna hear!!!

and ty for the well wishes and for your kind words over the years. i feel like we've both grown so much and come so far, its quite breathtaking

YES!!! It was really good and such an emotional rollercoaster, but I loved getting to see Anti-Entropy and Schicksal actually working together since in game, someone (forgot who) was raising the question of both of them being rather similar in function and goal so it was cool to see them come together in a way (albeit the story getting rewritten that Schicksal was the one to fight on their own), and all the characters within the manga was soooo good ; w; As I said, it was supposed to last me a month but. I couldn't put it down asdkjlfah Even now I'm like "yay time for bed!! lets go read the manga :DD" and realize. I already finished it :x

FU HUA YAAAAY that's exciting to hear!! I'm already liking the potential tbh because like with some of the flashbacks in Second Eruption I was thinking like >:OOOO WAIT IS SHE THE ORIGINAL OWNER OF FENGHUANG??????? I had a speculation for a while anyways that Fu Hua is much older than she appears within the game and getting confirmation that she is in fact older made me go :O IT WAS ALREADY A LOT TO FIND OUT THAT SHE WAS THE IMMORTAL CELESTIA (read Elan Palatinus before) so I couldn't help but be fond of her heheh I'm super excited though :>

Do you mean Sakura Samsara? :0 I actually finished through the main story! And the...side? (Right now I feel like the side story ended abruptly or something. idk if I just have to level up to get more story? but-) That's how I got more attached to sakukallen (with uhh Gratitude Arc being what piqued my interest in them). If that's the open world you mean, then 👀👀eyyyy

forgive me..... my brain needs to be prompted about specific speculations bc my recall is so bad aklsjfh but!! if something comes up i'll dm you :>

:O actually that made me think...I didn't realize just how long we've known each other?? I honestly can't remember when we met (but I'm pretty sure it was when I was ending high school/starting undergrad), which means it has been quite a while!! Much time has passed, and we've experienced a lot with it but it is such a nice thought to think about growing together with a friend :'> And there's still more to come!! Isn't that great?? I hope that it'll be good for the both of us and we keep growing 💪🏼💪🏼

[boba-beom]

it's honestly so great, i really missed being here. home. with the people i love. i spent most of my life here and sometimes, i really miss it and i wish i could've been able to stay here for uni as well. that happens when you live abroad i guess, you long for your home, for your people, for your language, for your culture and your food.

omg you had your birthday?? belated happy birthday 🥺 i hope you had an amazing time with the people you love❤️ i haven't known you for that long, but i really enjoy talking to you and seeing your posts on my notifs. you always manage to bring a smile on my face c:

LMAO NOT THE "you're getting older" message pls😭 i don't know much about the whole situation, but he seems confusing? is he being friendly or is this going to become some sort of casual thing between the two of you? idk if you've ever watched friends, but there's this submarine guy phoebe went out with at some point and basically he resurfaced every 2 years and they had the most amazing time together. so it could be something like thaaaat? or it could be just him being friendly. guys are so confusing honestly😭

ah, i swear, rediscovering things is a whole new experience and i'm sure you'll enjoy it as if it's the first time. i just love it when muscle memory kicks in, cause it feels like "wow i can't believe i remember this" and also "damn it, i AM good" LOL. what type of guitar do you usually play though? classical, acoustic or electric?

ahh, you're welcome. honestly at this point i'm convinced that you could write about a trashbag and i still would like it, because your writing is that good. it captivates you in its own way and i enjoy seeing all these scenarios i've never thought of or seen before on here (• ♡ •)

that sounds like a good idea. i hope everything goes well with your coursework and you get a good grade. you got this!!❤️

when it comes to university, i start my next semester in april and my timetable is such a mess, i'm really not looking forward to the next semester in a way lol. but on the other hand, i'm super excited for some of the lectures and seminars i'll be attending. we're finally taking two clinical psychology lectures and this one seminar about mental disorders. the clinical part has always been my main interest ever since i started my bachelor's, so i'm excited to finally dive in deeper. oh, that reminds me. what are you studying if you don't mind me asking?

that's so true smiles, thank you🥺❤️ i'll definitely tag you once it's out, thank you for being so supportive❤️❤️

ohh the uni trip sounds so exciting, i hope you had a good time!! and it sounds like you've had a very productive couple of days!! hope you're also resting and taking care of yourself <3 pls that post made me so soft, it was so well written and i just loved the moments between mc and beomgyu🥺 really showcased how well they matched each-other, almost fitting perfectly into one-another like two puzzle pieces. i also use bullet points to write sometimes haha they really do help with planning/brainstorming and then also connecting everything into one once you're done.

i've been pretty well tbh, just eating a lot and having a good time with my friends and family hehe. i can't believe i go home in three days though, these past few days really felt like a fever dream.

of course being in the comfort of your own home is the best over anything, but I'm really happy you got to spend time with your loved ones <3

this was longer than I expected lmao

and thank you! yes, it was only a small celebration since I had quite a loud one last year. plus I only stayed home for 3 days since I had uni a couple of days after my birthday.

it's funny actually, yesterday he went to my home city for an interview and he was there for two nights, but last night was his last night in the city and I was added to a group call with him and our bsf. my bsf left the call around 2am but he and I kept talking until 6am :') and he had a train to catch at 10am... it was nice, I feel like I did genuinely get to know him a little more without having our bsf there to prompt us to talk. but I feel like I enjoy talking to him, but I think I'm going to leave it at just friends... for now since that's all what it feels like at the minute :>

that's so true! and I have an electro-acoustic guitar!! I do want an electric guitar at some point though, or even a bass too. are there any other instruments you want to learn or have played in the past?

and pls, you're too sweet :') I do have the tendency to use flowery terms and what not, I can't help it though hehe but thank you so so much for always being so interested and I love hearing your feedback because I always wanna know what goes on through someone's mind or their thoughts about anything of mine that they've read.

but thank you! I've been progressing well, but I do need to make timetable or a schedule for things I need to do, slowly but surely I will be okay!

I hope your next semester won't be too hard on you! omg my sister does psychology too and clinical is something she's wanting to do :> I do interior architecture and design! I'm loving it, truly, but it's just the fact the deadline's coming closer is something that makes me anxious about my work is all.

I had a long rest over the weekend and I've been back on the grind since monday so I've been keeping on track with what I've been wanting to do! and yes, that piece was written a little differently than what I usually do but, again, thank you for liking it so much! I'm happy my imagination was envisioned well to you<3 and for writing, everyone has their own ways, as long as you enjoy the process then go for it!

I hope you have/had a save flight, my love! as always, there will be more times when you can come back home and spend time with them again! it's just something you can look forward to next time, yano? rest up and I hope you have good days ahead of you 💕

[honeytae]

Hi!! Idk if you’re taking requests or not, but I was hoping I could request something along the lines of where you’re in love with your best friend, taehyung, but he doesn’t know and he’s getting married soon. you don’t tell him how you feel until the night of his wedding when you’re a bit tipsy from drinking your feelings away. you can decide the ending! thank you in advance if you end up writing this! hope you’re doing well and staying safe. Xx

hi darling! i’m so sorry this took so long for me to write. i couldn’t get it to a point where i was satisfied with it for a really long time, i still don’t feel that good about it honestly but hopefully it’s okay for you!!! i tried to make it angsty (yikes) so hopefully it’s not horrible lmao

tags: @ahgasearmyfan, @hoseokayy, @the1921-monsters

genre: angst

word count: 1.6k

warnings: um so much heartbreak, oc is a little (very) in denial about the situation and comes off a little toxic tbh, requited love but nothing they can do about it now, mentions of tae going into a panic attack

You couldn’t handle it.

You couldn’t handle the ‘congratulations to the happy couple,’ nor the Mr. and Mrs. Kim sign practically floating over their heads. You couldn’t handle the copious bouquets and all the preparations that went into this.

And you felt like a complete asshole about it.

Which is precisely why you decided to prematurely exit the event, doing yourself and everyone else a favor by leaving for the night to go sulk in your hotel by your lonesome.

The elevator ride up to your floor was miserable, your own battles within your mind coupled with the fact that your floor was the top one, making the ride excruciatingly long on top of everything else.

Rustling with the hotel key in your bag seemed to take forever as well, finally barging into your half unpacked space with a sigh. You quickly shut the door behind you, hoping you’d been able to sneak away from the hotel lobby without any guests noticing.

Shuffling further into the room, you sat on the edge of the king bed in the center of the room, placing your head in your hands at the mere prospect of this weekend.

Taehyung was getting married. Kim Taehyung, your best friend, the one person you’d been pining for since middle school, would be legally bound to someone else in less than twenty four hours.

Maybe you just shouldn’t have come. Despite sending red flags to Tae, you couldn’t think of a better solution than fleeing at this exact moment. Why did you think you could handle this?

Two knocks against the locked door had your head raising from its resting place, cursing under your breath at someone coming after you.

You didn’t feel well. That would be your excuse.

“Hey, you okay?” Immediately upon opening the door, Taehyung spoke the question out into the air, dark eyebrows knit in concern and kind eyes imploring yours for an answer.

“Hi. I’m fine, just a little tired, Tae.” You pressed your lips together in a hopefully believable smile, the man frowning before nodding at you.

“Me too. Can I come in?” He asked, the question completely innocent however making your heart rate a bit faster at the what if. What if things had gone differently? What if it was still a possibility for things to escalate between you two?

Cut it out. He’s about to be a married man.

You raised your eyebrows at him for a moment, then stepped back to allow him in, putting all your concentration on shutting the wood for a moment as you took a steadying breath.

“What about your party?” You wondered aloud, the man humming as he took a seat on your fully made bed.

“I’m tired of the parties. They’re exhausting.” He chuckled, covering his face with his hands as he reclined back on your bed.

Your heart skipped another beat at the vision, his tight pants leaving little to the imagination and buttons from his dress shirt stretched to new limits with his strained position. Diverting your eyes, you walked over to the desk chair in the corner of your room, reaching for a water bottle out of your mini fridge. Get a fucking grip.

Tossing one over to the bed beside Taehyung, you sat down in the plush seat, grateful that the man didn’t seem to notice your distance from him as you glanced out the window.

Until….

“Are you really okay? I feel like you’ve been avoiding me lately.”

At his sudden words, you froze, gripping your water a bit tighter as you brought your eyes back to his face. He was closer now than before, having scooted to the edge of your bed to lean toward you, eyes showing concern for you as you shuffled in your seat.

Taehyung was never one to beat around the bush, and at times like this, you really wish he would just brush some things under the rug as easy as you could.

“I’m good, Tae. Just have a lot going on, I guess. I’m sorry I made you feel like that.” You said, hoping to clear the air and dismiss the topic as soon as you possibly could. The man’s stare wasn’t helping your state any.

“No apologies. Just wanted to check in on you.” He sighed, seemingly disappointed with your lack of response before a hideous painting across the room caught his eye.

“What the fuck is that?” He griped, making you chuckle as he sat up to lean toward the art piece, squinting with his lip curled in amusement.

“It’s not so bad.” You shrugged, smirking when he turned back to you in bewilderment. Realizing you were teasing him, his eyes went back to normal size, a smile meeting his own lips at the return of your familiar banter.

“How can you sleep in a room with that shit? I feel like asking for a refund.” He shook his head, making you laugh before taking a swig from your water.

“Somehow I manage.” You replied, twisting the cap back on the bottle with a sigh.

It’s times like these that you feel as though nothing is wrong. Times like these that transport you back to periods of your life when Taehyung was just a call away, and you thought maybe, just maybe, you two had a chance. But that was over now. Those days were no more.

Because Taehyung informing you about a blind date then turned into him in a full blown relationship, a serious one at that, and soon enough they were taking big steps such as meeting the parents, moving in together, and yes, getting engaged.

Your friends had been just as shocked as you were, pitying you with deep sympathetic looks over Taehyungs shoulder as you hugged him in confused congratulations. It had all happened so fast...how did you manage to lose him forever?

Waking up the next day, you felt a particular heaviness on your chest. It was the day before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner turned into an entire day of partying for their guests. A celebratory day, if anything.

But waking up and getting all dolled up for this occasion was the absolute last thing you wanted to do, today or ever. You had always thought that you’d have much more of a starring role in Kim Taehyung’s life. Shaking your head to dismiss those kinds of thoughts, you cursed as you left your hotel room, wondering how the hell you’d be getting through this day.

Four martinis. Four martinis was how you’d be getting through today. The bartender had become one of your closest acquaintances over the past few hours, eyeballing you silently as he poured you yet another cocktail, your demands obvious that you were not drinking out of celebration.

Sitting at the bar, you contemplated everything. From the time you’d met Tae, you had been so sure that you two completed each other. Were you that naive? And fuck, why are you still thinking about this now? It’s over. You and Tae will never be.

Nearly jumping off your stool at a hand suddenly clapping your back, you shifted your gaze over to the arm belonging to Jungkook, one of Taehyung’s youngest yet wisest friends.

“You’re sulking.” He said plainly, dark eyes tracing over your faded features, briefly examining the drink in your hand before shooting the bartender a knowing look.

“You shouldn’t be out here.” You sighed, nearly breaking into a sob when his hand laid over yours, fingers fitting between your own in a comforting gesture. With one glance at the man, you gained all the information you didn’t want.

He knew.

You wondered how long he’d known. Jungkook, being the quiet and relatively introverted person he was, was an observer. He knew everything about everyone it seemed, by not speaking to them at all. He noticed everything.

You just hoped he didn’t notice the way your eyes started blinking rapidly, and that he’d instead just go back into the party without another word.

“Neither should you.” He replied to you, his tone holding nothing but concern as he tried to catch your eyes.

You just couldn’t hold it in.

“Well maybe if I wasn’t in love with him I’d be having a better time.” You mumbled, leaning your head down on your hands, elbows pressed to the tops of your thighs, sad and tired as Jungkook froze beside you.

Unbeknownst to you, a concerned Taehyung had also come to find you, stumbling upon that very scene as Jungkook tried to console you.

Meeting eyes with his older friend, Jungkook’s mouth gaped open for a moment, opening and closing like a fish out of water as you cluelessly rambled under your breath about how stupid you were to ever let yourself come here.

With a shaky exhale, Taehyung silently began to put it all together. The way you’d been working constantly lately, picking up every shift you could to decline his repeated attempts at getting together with you, the way you’d ran off last night and brushed it off as you being too tired. It was all adding up.

You were struggling with this as much as he was. Maybe more.

But what Taehyung could do about this years ago was no longer an option, his hands shaking at his sides as he spun on his heel and walked out of the lobby. He could briefly hear Jungkook call for him but ignored it, breathing heavily as he rounded one of the hallways leading to the restrooms.

Unshed tears misted over his eyes as he hugged a corner of the wall, feeling rather unsteady as he leaned his forehead against the cool surface. The burning pain in his chest had him sinking down to the floor in an instant, sobs wracking his shoulders with heightening emotions rising in his throat.

You’d finally given him the green light. And it was too fucking late.

[illfoandillfie]

Kinktober Day 4: Bimbofication + Cockwarming

Kinktober Masterlist | Regular Masterlist

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Fem!Reader

Words: 3,164

Warnings: Bimbofication/intelligence play, hypnosis/trance state, cockwarming

A/N: This fic is very much set in my Future Management universe though I think you could get away with not having read the others. I’ve missed writing these two tbh and then I saw that one of the prompts for day 4 was bimbofication and decided it was a good enough excuse to get back to them. But I also really loved the second prompt for day 4, cockwarming, so decided to mix the two together!

After the long week you’d both been dealing with, you and Roger were glad to have a weekend to yourselves to relax. You’d spent too many nights out at various political functions, lobbying politicians and trying to convince the wealthy elite to donate to your cause. It was frustrating though and despite the numerous late nights and all your best efforts, it didn’t feel like you’d got particularly far. Roger had returned to the studio that week to begin recording Queen’s next album, so he was having a better time than you had been, though by all accounts everyone had been a little on edge as the week drew to a close. He’d come home complaining about how snippy everyone had been and how little progress they’d made that day. It was nice just to curl up on the couch together and zone out in front of the telly, not least because recently you’d barely found time to just be together without interruptions. It wasn’t a problem exactly, and you’d known you’d have patches like that when you first started seeing each other, but the lack of intimacy and physical affection created by your busy schedules did take its toll. So, on Friday night, Roger took great joy in turning off the alarm clock, deciding you could both use a lie in. You were too exhausted to even suggest anything more than talking before you went to sleep, but Roger made sure he was spooning you as you settled down, holding you tight.  

Roger was still asleep as you woke, carefully detangling yourself so you could tiptoe to the bathroom, but he offered you a sleepy grin when you came back.   “Sorry, did I wake you?” “Maybe a little. Thought we were going to lie in.” He pouted at you as if you’d betrayed him.   “I had to pee!” you laughed, “But I’m all for lying in now.”   Roger chuckled along with you as he beckoned you over, encouraging you to lay your head on his chest as you snuggled back up. His hand found yours, softly tracing the length of your fingers as he sighed happily.   “I missed this,” he half whispered, pulling your hand up so he could kiss your knuckles.   You hummed in agreement. For someone who’d not been in the habit of sharing your bed or encouraging physical contact, you’d certainly gotten used to Roger’s touch. He’d thoroughly converted you as the relationship became more serious, made you see how nice it was to be held, how comforting his hand in yours could be. And you had missed it over the last week when there’d not seemed to be enough time for those soft, quiet moments with him. You’d sat next to uninterested politicians who nodded politely at what you said but never offered anything useful, and thought about how nice it’d be to feel Roger kiss your temple or squeeze your thigh. And then your mind had taken it further, reminding you how warm you got when his weight was over you, how it felt to fill your lungs with his breath and to taste him on your lips. You shifted at the idea and realised you weren’t the only one who wanted more than just to relax. Scooting away from Roger so you could better face him, you began to suggest you could maybe slip down under the covers and help him get properly excited, but before you got more than a few syllables out he was talking about a different idea.  “So, I’ve been thinking about something I thought might be fun to try with my bimbo doll.”  “Oh?” You weren’t entirely sure how you felt about that. On one hand you loved when Roger turned you brainless and cock-crazed, how fun it was and how freeing. But this was the first time you’d really been able to be together in a little while. What did it say about the state of your relationship or his opinion of you, if he’d prefer your bimbo alter ego over the real you, “You want her?”  “Not necessarily right now,” he said, rubbing his knuckles softly against your cheek, “Not if you don’t want to. I’m happy staying like this with you all day.”  “Don’t pretend you don’t want to fuck. I want to fuck.”  Roger laughed, “Oh I definitely want to fuck. I’m just saying I’d be perfectly happy fucking beautiful, brainy, you, instead of the slutty idiot.”  You couldn’t help but smile at that.  “But it’s something I’ve thought about quite a lot. And I think it’d be kind of perfect for such a lazy morning.”  “Okay.” you said, thinking about it more, “I’m not entirely opposed to the whole bimbo thing. It might actually be nice to be a bit brainless, maybe even make it a bit easier to relax. Y’know, sort of keep me focused on enjoying the moment and really feeling everything. So why don’t you just tell me what the idea is and then I’ll know how up for it I am right now.”  “Hmmm. I thought maybe it could be a surprise. But don’t worry, it’s something we’ve done before. I’m just curious how she’d react to being made to do it.”  “Being made to?” you asked, raising your eyebrows in disbelief, “Is this something I like?”  “Oh yeah, definitely. Believe me, we’ve done this a few times before. Usually, it’s less part of sex and more to do with the aftercare or the foreplay.”  You tried to think of what he meant but nothing came to mind that fit the description. It was intriguing though. And you trusted Roger, you knew he wouldn’t take advantage or force you to do something you wouldn't normally do. If he said you enjoyed it then you must enjoy it usually.  Roger waited to see how you’d react.  “Nothing to lose?”  “Nothing to lose.” He said with a smile, “I promise it’ll be fun, love.”  “Okay, let’s do it. I’m insanely curious. But also, sometime later today or tonight, we’re going to have regular, non-bimbo, sex.”  “Anything you want. You ready?” 

You nodded and instantly felt Roger draw you back down so you were within easier reach. His fingers trailed lightly over your arms as he began to talk you down. You relaxed into the moment, letting his voice wash over you as his touch created goosebumps over your skin. As you closed your eyes your breathing began to soften and you felt the familiar drowsiness settle into your mind. Roger did his usual improvisation, making sure you knew how dumb you were, how easily confused and hopelessly idiodic you were. He made you understand that you couldn’t understand half of what he said, that you were just a giggly dummy who needed his help. And then, when he was sure you had gone brainless, he told you how horny you were. How all you could think about was his cock in every one of your holes, how desperately you ached for him, how being filled by him was your one goal in life. The only thing you needed or wanted. And how the longer you waited the hornier you got. He told you about being desperate and wet and you felt yourself grow desperate and wet as he said it though you couldn’t remember the word desperate. You tried you but just came up blank. The only world you could think of was cock. It flashed in your mind like a neon sign and just the thought of that word alone made your mouth water and you cunt ache.  You shifted, trying to rub your legs together, able to feel the slick forming between them as your stomach tightened with need. And then he told you one word, a simple word. No. He explained that every time he told you no, it was guaranteed to compound the horny desperation you felt.   “What’s co-com- ummm, com-pound?” You asked, confusedly.   “It means the feeling will get stronger. When I say no, you’ll get even hornier. Understand?”  “Yes,” you sighed, content now that he’d explained the hard word.  

By the time you blinked your eyes open, all you knew was that you wanted his cock. It was your very first thought and the first thing you said.   Roger looked at you, smiling, and greeted you. A pleasant, “Hi,” that made you feel warm and happy.  You’d smiled back, “Can I please have your cock Sir?”  That made Roger laugh, “No baby. That’s now what I want to do right now.”  Hearing him say that just made you want it more though.  “Please Sir? I could suck it for you. I really really really want to suck your cock.”  “No, I don’t think I want that either.”  You whined softly, “I promise I’m reallllllly good at it and I love sucking cock so much.”  “No. What else could you do instead?”  “Ummm,” it was hard to think, hard to remember anything beyond how horny you were, “Maybe I could ride you?”  “Hmmm, no.”  You groaned and clenched your hands into fists for a second as a bolt of energy ran through you, “Can I wank you?”  “No, baby, not that either.”  “Please Sir?”  “No.”  The bolt of energy ran through you again and you stomped your foot against the mattress to relieve some of the pressure.   “Keep suggesting things,” Roger grinned, “Maybe one of them might interest me.”  You scrunched your face up in concentration, trying to think of something Roger might like, “What about if you fucked me? I’d be so good and I’d stay so still and you could use my pussy and cum in me and-”  “No. No I don’t want that either.”  “But Siiiiiiir,” you whined, “You always tell me to take your cock!”  “Do I?”  “Yes!” you giggled, wondering how he could have forgotten, “You always say how good it feels in me.”  “I s’pose that’s true.”  “So can I have your cock now?”  “No.”  You whined and pouted but Roger didn’t budge.  “I’ll tell you what. Let’s start with taking your clothes off.”  “Okay Sir.” you nodded, giggling again at the idea, hoping it would lead to having one of your holes filled.  “Well go on then. Shirt off first, good girl.”  You rolled yourself off the bed and quickly began tearing off the pyjamas you were wearing, feeling hot as Roger’s gaze dragged over the newly exposed skin.   “Now undress me.”  You couldn't help but laugh as you crawled across the bed to reach him. He’d slept without a shirt so all you had to worry about were his flannel PJ pants and underwear pulling them down his legs one at a time. As his underwear came down your eyes fell to his cock, revealed inch by inch. You felt saliva pool in your mouth and had to resist the urge to lean forward and taste him.  “Can I touch you Sir?” you asked quietly, almost holding your breath as you waited for his answer.  “No.”  “Please?” you asked again, frustrated. Roger didn’t understand how bad you wanted it, how much you needed him. “I’ll do anything Sir, whatever you want.”  “No.”  With an impatient groan you threw yourself onto your stomach, beating your fists and feet against the mattress. It was the only way to relieve the energy and pressure building inside you.  But Roger just laughed, “Awww, is Dummy gonna have a tantrum? That’s not going to change my mind. My answer is still no.”  You whined and kicked your legs again, your pussy throbbing with how empty it was.  “You’re such a desperate slut, aren’t you Dummy.” Roger laughed again, “So maybe....”  You looked up excited and hopeful.  “I might decide to fuck you. Pin you down, fill you hard and deep and cum in you as many times as I can manage. Just to shut your whining up.”  You scrambled back to your knees and nodded happily, reaching to wrap your hand around Roger’s cock.  He slapped you away, “I said might, Dummy. That’s still a no. You’ll have to show me you deserve it. You’ll have to be a good bimbo doll and do everything I say. Can you do that?”  You whined but agreed you could. He didn’t need to make you promise to follow his orders. You’d have done that anyway. You’d have done anything he asked, anything to make him feel happy and pleased. 

“Sit up, hands behind your back. Show me your cunt.”  You scrambled to do as he asked, smiling proudly when he hummed at the sight of your spread legs and wrapped his fist around the base of his cock.  “You’re so wet Dummy. How’d that happen?”  You giggled again, “I told you I want you Sir.”  “Guess I didn’t realise how much,”  Your gaze fell to his hand and your breath caught as you watched him slowly stroke his length, stiffening more the longer your eyes were fixed on him. It just made everything worse. You couldn’t seem to drag your eyes away, nearly panting with desire. Wanting to touch yourself almost as much as you wanted to touch him.  “Oh you are desperate. I can see your cunt clenching around thin air and you’ve got drool on your chin. You don’t even care which hole I use.”  You shook your head. Whatever he wanted would make you happy because it’d make him happy.  “I could keep telling you no.”  A whimper slipped from your lips and you felt your pussy pulse with need.  “But maybe I’ll be generous. Lie down here, next to me. Good girl, now turn onto your side. No, other side, facing away from me. That’s right.”  “What are you doing Sir?” you asked over the creaking of the bed frame as Roger shifted around behind you. He didn’t answer though, just pressed himself against your back. You could feel his hard length being directed to your slit and you changed the position of your legs to make it easier for him.   “Good girl,” he said softly, his breath warm against your bare skin.  You moaned at the feeling of him moving between your legs, waiting for the sweet stretch of him filling you. Only it didn’t come. You could feel him between your lips, sliding easily through your soaked folds, every ridge and vein making you shudder. You tried to press back, to direct him into you, but his hand landed on your hip, forcing you to still.  “No.”  The word pulled another whine from you, louder than any before, exacerbated by how close he was to what you really wanted. But that just made Roger chuckle as he kept teasing you. It was pure torment, though worse was still to come.  

It took you completely by surprise when Roger stopped his teasing rubbing, readjusting his angle so he could sink into you slowly. The unexpectedness of it stole your breath but you managed to gasp out a small moan of thanks, finally getting what you’d been so desperate for. The position you lay in kept your bodies close as he sheathed himself fully, rocking his hips gently so as to withdraw a little and thrust back into you. You could have cried with joy at knowing you’d pleased your Sir, that you’d been so good and patient, and he’d finally decided to take what you’d offered him. And then he stopped. You tried to take over his rhythm, tried to fuck yourself on his cock the way you knew he liked. Last time you’d done that he’d praised you for being brainless and needy, called you a good bimbo whore and you’d kept going until he’d cum, laughing about how good it felt. But this time he stopped you. He pressed his hips flush against you and wrapped his arm tightly over the top of you.   “No, Dummy. No moving now.”  “But Sir,”  “No. Be good and lie still or I will make you,” He tapped the middle of your forehead with a finger, “Remember I have all the power.”  You didn’t know what he meant by that or why he’d tapped you but you knew how to be good. You knew how to please. And so you relaxed again and lay quiet and still, the way he wanted you.  “It’s still a little early for me to use you. I think I want to sleep a bit longer, so why don’t you stay here and warm my cock for me. It’ll keep me comfortable so I can sleep longer. And then when I’m better rested I’ll think about fucking you.”  You whined again, wanting to thrash your arms and legs again but unable to, wanting to be pinned down by your Sir and used, wanting to feel him move within you or to taste his cum or anything. But if that was what he wanted that was what you’d do, so you nodded and agreed softly.   Roger hummed happily which was all you needed to hear to feel happy too. He let out a tired exhale and seemed to still. You listened as his breath evened out into a shallow rhythm, and struggled to keep relaxed in his embrace. As far as you could tell he was asleep, though his hand seemed to come to life. His fingertips trailed over your skin, coming to rest on your chest. You tried to remain quiet but struggled not to moan as his hand cupped your breast and squeezed it. In response he moved slightly, though still slept on, his cock changing angle within you by a hair's breadth. In your state of heightened arousal it was enough to have you clenching again, trying not to wake Roger in case he got mad.  

There was a soft laugh from behind you and Roger mumbled, “C’mon Dummy, you should sleep too.” And then he kept talking, telling you how you’d still be horny when you woke but you’d have control of your brain again, you’d be back to his beautiful, intelligent partner. It sounded like nonsense (what did intelligent even mean?) but something about the way he spoke made your eyes droop and close. There was a small tap on your forehead and you awoke, disorientated by being brought back to the real world so soon.  “How do you feel, love?”  Roger asked and you twisted in his arms to try and see him better. You were pleased when you heard him groan at the change in your position.   “You’re a fucking tease Roger Taylor.” you half laughed, trying to sound less amused than you were.  He laughed too, clearly pleased with his little game, as he released you and withdrew his cock from your heat, “I told you you’d like it.”  You pushed yourself up to be more comfortable, “I don’t know that like is the word I’d use. All I feel is horny. Insanely so.”  “Do you want that fuck now?”  He was still laughing when you tackled him. 

Taglist: @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini

[gubler-me-up]

Heavy Lifting

Request: Okay for the Spencer prompt thingy? Reader has been at the BAU for a few years and has always been dorky and nerdy like Spencer however something comes up (idk what, maybe a group trip, some training thing, Moving house, I’m not sure) where reader rolls up their sleeves and picks up something super heavy with ease and Spencer is just in awe and bright red and Morgan’s probably pissing himself laughing in a corner whilst Spencer is  looking respectfully

A/N: I hope I’m writing your description properly and I really hope you like it! Thanks again for submitting your request, I appreciate it a ton :)

Category: Fluff, cuteness

Content warning: Nothing tbh maybe a mildly inappropriate joke idk

Word count: 1.8k

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Spending the last few years with the bureau had been a wonderful experience for you. You got to work with amazing coworkers who were pretty much family, got to help solve crimes before they turned tragic and also allowed you to break out of your shell a bit. The greatest perk of all was it paid you enough to move into a better apartment.

Your new apartment was everything you could ask for. It had a gorgeous kitchen, a bigger bedroom, no leaks in the roof and definitely no weird neighbours. Well, you were just guessing, but hopeful everyone in your apartment complex was nice.

With a new apartment came piles of boxes and furniture to move.  Good thing you had a strong friend like Derek Morgan to help you out and someone like Spencer Reid to be there for moral support. If you were being honest with yourself for once you were just glad Reid offered to come along. You had originally asked Morgan for his help since he knew about home renovations and the moving process. It so happened Reid was in earshot of your conversation and quickly turned around to offer his assistance.

As expected Morgan bellowed a laugh half the bureau could hear. Reid quarrelled with him, stating how beneficial it would be for him to help and went on about how lifting boxes wasn’t a tough skill. To break up their disagreement you interjected and told Reid you would love if he came. He instantly shut up and his cheeks became a noticeable red as he asked if I was sure.

You had never really interjected your voice between an argument before, not even the smallest of ones like this. Morgan definitely took note of it as well as he stared intently between you and Reid. You nodded and reassured him you wanted him there.

This was planned two weeks ago and every day you were anxiously awaiting to see if Reid would change his mind. It wasn’t his thing to do heavy lifting all day and you were worried you had gotten him into something he wasn’t comfortable with. Even though he offered, you felt as if he only did it to prove himself capable of heavy-duty labour. Was he proving himself to you?

You waited on the driver’s side of the moving truck. You checked the time on your watch since you felt as if you had been waiting for a while. 11:45 a.m. They were supposed to meet you outside your new place 15 minutes ago. Had they changed their mind?

Before you could overthink their tardiness, you saw Morgan’s SUV pull up across the street. You smiled as you opened up the door to hop out. You saw Morgan and Reid step out of the car. They were having a little dispute as usual with Reid looking annoyed and Morgan casually brushing him off.

You waved. “Hey, guys.”

Reid gave a quick wave back. “Hey, Y/N. Sorry, we’re late, but Morgan decided he needed an extra half an hour to sleep.”

You smiled and shook your head. “It’s okay, I should have known asking for help at 11 a.m. on a Saturday would lead to something like this.”

“See, Reid, that’s what you call someone who’s understanding,” Morgan said as he walked to the back of your moving truck.

Reid rolled his eyes. “Again, I’m sorry Morgan made us late, Y/N. I hope you weren’t waiting for too long.”

You shook your head. “Not for too long. I’m just kinda glad you didn’t change your mind.”

Reid widened his eyes in shock. “Why did you think I’d change my mind?”

You shrugged and put on your famous awkward smile. “I don’t know. Since you volunteered and you were running late, I just-”

“First of all, Morgan’s the reason why we’re late. If I wasn’t waiting for him to pick me up like we planned I would have been here on time if not earlier for you.”

You blushed at what he said and he soon did too as he realized what he said. Before you two could engage in a stuttering, rambling mess of speech, Morgan called you both.

“Hey, nerd one and two, a little help would be appreciated,” he said.

You and Reid glanced at each other, awkwardly smiled and then hurried over to the moving truck. Morgan shook his head as he chuckled to himself. He opened the truck and was taken aback by the amount of stuff you had to move in.

“Y/N, I wasn’t expecting you to have so much stuff,” Morgan said.

“I got rid of half my stuff before moving, so all of these things are near and dear to me,” you explained.

Reid pointed to a random box. “What’s in that box?”

“Geography textbooks. Mainly geography of the U.S. and I believe there are some rare ones covering Europe’s geography if I’m not mistaken.”

“Wow, those are keepers,” Reid said in amazement.

“Geography textbooks? Why do you even have those? For fun?” Morgan joked.

You playfully rolled your eyes. “I think you forget I had a double major in Geography and Criminology, Derek. You know, one of my many specialities I bring to the team.”

Morgan playfully put his hands up in surrender. “Okay, alright, you and pretty boy have the same unusual kink for geographic criminology, but what explains that?”

You looked at the box Morgan pointed his finger to. The label for the box was facing outward to read “Doctor Who figurines.” You nervously giggled.

“What can I say? I’m a huge fan,” you said.

“You told me about your Star Trek figurine collection, but you never told me you had a Doctor Who figurine collection. You’ve been holding out on me, Y/N,” Reid said as he looked at you in amazement.

You felt the fiery blush come back to your cheeks as his big, hazel eyes stared longingly at you. He always stared at you with such amazement, but this time around seemed as if he was almost hypnotized. His gaze made you think he was fascinated by more than just your extensive Doctor Who and Star Trek figurines.

“Dork’s who flock together, stay together. How about you two stop drooling over figurines and let’s start moving some of them,” Morgan commented as he picked up the Doctor Who figurine box.

Reid broke his gaze as you both refocused on the task at hand. Even though you didn’t want him to take his eyes off of you, they were there to help you move in. You saw Reid pick up a box labelled kitchen pots and pans. You were pretty impressed considering it was a pretty heavy box and he lifted it with ease.

You reached for the box filled with your geography textbooks. Before you could pick it up you heard Morgan and Reid trying to stop you.

“Whoa there, Y/N. Let’s trade boxes," Morgan said as he gave you his box and grabbed the box you were about to grab.

“You don’t think I can carry it?” You questioned.

You looked at Morgan, to Reid and back to Morgan. They both had a weary face on. Yes, you stood at 5’3 and weighed about 130, but they didn’t have to look at you as if you were fragile.

“Put the box down on the ground,” you demanded.

“But-”

“Now, Derek. Please,” you said in a slightly demanding tone.

Morgan had never heard you say something with such base in your voice before. He had no choice but to follow your command.

“Thank you,” you said.

You got into a squatting position in front of the box. You made sure your back was straight and your knees were bent at a 90-degree angle. You grabbed the box at its sides, took a deep breath and lifted it with no issue.

You looked towards Morgan to see if he was surprised at you lifting the box. He didn’t seem surprised at all. He was too busy holding back laughter. For a second you thought you made a weird face or you had looked stupid while lifting the box until you realized he wasn’t laughing at you, but behind you.

You turned around to see a red Reid trying not to look you directly in the eyes. You looked back at Morgan with a confused look. You wanted in on the joke as well.

“What’s so funny?” You asked.

“Nothing, nothing. I just think Reid wasn’t ready to see you drop it low like that,” Morgan said while letting out his laugh.

You looked back at Reid who seemed even redder. You gave him a shy smile as you didn’t even realize you were squatting in front of him. You just hoped your shorts didn’t ride down to expose your thong.

“Is that true?” You asked.

Reid shook his head. “No-I mean-yes-I mean, I was just very impressed by your form. It’s the proper physiological position to prevent muscle tears and slipped discs in the spine.”

You giggled. “I know. I’ve been powerlifting for a couple of months now. Who do you think loaded this truck up?”

Morgan was taken aback. “You power lift? I would have never guessed miss shy girl. Next time I’ll let you kick down the door as Reid watches you from behind.”

Reid let out a sound to try and silence Morgan. Well, that’s what you guessed the sound was anyway. You laughed at the both of them as you started walking towards the apartment entrance with the two of them trailing behind. Before all of you reached the entrance, you stopped and turned around. They both abruptly stopped in their tracks by your sudden halt.

You turned around to look at Reid. “You know if you want we can both go and work on our physiological positions at the gym.”

Morgan let out a laugh as Reid stood there completely dumbfounded by your sudden proposal. You don’t think he had never seen you propose a concept so boldly, but you thought it was the right time. You looked keenly into his eyes and he sheepishly smiled.

“Uh, of course,” he responded.

“I’m glad you’re both getting your “physiological positions” in order,” Morgan joked.

You rolled your eyes at his joke. You truly didn’t mean it in that way, but if it led to that direction who were you to say no to the universe. You turned around to start walking again.

“Maybe you can get your physiological position to be better. I saw your arms shaking as you picked up those figurines,” you said with a giggle.

“I think I preferred the shy, reserved you better, Y/N,” Morgan said.

“Don’t listen to him, Y/N. A good few gym sessions will give us enough strength to defeat Derek Morgan and his bad jokes once and for all,” Reid said.

“Bring it, kids. My fists will be waiting with your names on them.”

—–

MASTERLIST

[yuyupowers]

aristocrat!seonghwa

aristocrat!seonghwa x fem!reader

genre: fluff

trigger warning(s): patriarchal society mostly. let me know if there’s anything else!

author’s note: none of the pictures are mine!!

for reference, i’m using british peerage (hierarchy). there are five ranks: baron, viscount, earl (count), marquess, and duke - the highest being duke, and the lowest, baron.

second son of a duke

i imagine seonghwa to be someone who values tradition

unlike hongjoong who finds who finds the numerous aristocratic mannerisms pointless, hwa believes upholding these (rather stringent) rules is a sign of respect

perfect gentleman pt.1

excellent in swordsmanship, horse-back riding, and hunting

well versed in poetry, literature, art, and finance

(can maintain a conversation about politics but honestly it kinda goes over his head)

a bit on the shyer side, but a decent conversationalist

good at keeping the flow and mediating in case anyone becomes a little too heated about their opinions

definitely cares about his and his family’s image

naturally caring and tends to dote on those close to him

(translates into excellent manners)

holds the door open, offers his hand when stepping out of carriages, makes sure to walk on the side closest to traffic, diverts conversation when things are too “distressing,” wouldn’t be caught dead alone with a woman that wasn’t related to him or his fiancée/wife

and surprise, surprise !!

this is where you come in

you’re the second oldest daughter, fourth child out of six; born to an earl

hwa’s family had the highest title bestowed upon aristocracy

whereas your family accumulated more wealth and land than the park family

and since both you and hwa were prime marrying age™, your parents decided upon a mutually beneficial marriage

the first time you met seonghwa was under the watchful eye of both your parents, when the park’s invited your family for dinner

tbh, you were pretty relieved when you met him

“prime marrying age” was different for men, so you were just glad he wasn’t some old geezer

and he seemed like a decent person !!

a well put together gentleman, and his image was only consolidated throughout dinner

all in all, you didn’t have much to complain about from the initial impression

though it was kinda annoying when your little sister would not shut up about how he was the handsome man she’s ever met

even if you agreed

and didn’t she say that when she met woo?

anyways

after the first meeting with the park’s, both your parents set up multiple occasions for you two to meet

whether that be evening walks, picnics in the park, etc,,,

you learned a great deal about seonghwa 

how his favourite is black, how he loved the stars and that his favourite planet was mars

how he loved kids and doted on your youngest siblings (much to your sister’s glee)

how he enjoyed spending a quiet afternoon with you reading dickens, discussing afterwards the contrast between carton and darnay

how he was always considerate of your feelings and opinions

you liked to think you were a decent judge of character and thought overall that seonghwa was a kind and caring person

but you also noticed a few characteristics that-

you wouldn’t say it was off-putting or anything but,,,

it might bother you in the future

see, you were pretty good friends with hongjoong

and while you weren’t as extreme,

(you didn’t sneak out weekly to hang out with a bar maiden that you definitely did not have a crush on)

you certainly agreed with him on certain points

like hwa, you thought that abiding by certain mannerisms = display of respect

but unlike him, you didn’t care all that much about your image

okay, that was a lie.

you couldn’t say you didn’t care about your image

(social ostracization isn’t exactly fun ya feel)

but you thought it was,,,exhausting

it’s one thing to be respectful, but it’s another thing to say things you don’t mean

to fake humility

to undermine people that are supposed to be your “friends” or “one of you”

to be perfect, when “perfect” was such a subjective term anyways

it just felt so fake and that left a bitter taste in your mouth

even now, you could see all the efforts seonghwa made to constantly keep his image of a “perfect gentleman”

with perfect mannerisms and perfect answers and perfect-

yeah, it kinda frustrated you

not to mention how obedient he was?

of course you didn’t fault him for being a dutiful and filial son, but his loyalty blinded him

and it wasn’t like his parents were bad people !!

no, you’d say they were much kinder than the average noble family

especially considering their status

but when they made important decisions for their son without consulting him,

(because they were more experienced, because they knew better, etc,,,)

and he accepted whatever decision they handed to him?

well,,,

nevertheless, despite being his fiancée, you, by this point, had realistically had known seonghwa for a couple months

and you didn’t feel like it was your place 

(at least not yet)

to point this out

so the two of you continued your cordial but emotionally distant meetings

that is until “the incident” (as hwa fondly likes to call it)

okay, so-

one day you paid hwa a visit and the two of you decided to take a walk in his family’s garden

chattering about this and that

a lovely time !!

it was a bit overcast, but it didn’t look too threatening

so the two of you ignored the clouds looming in the horizon and wandered deep into the garden

big mistake

the weather took a turn for the worst, and soon it was pouring

by this point seonghwa was a little panicked

he knew that for women, getting ready could be excessively long and tenuous task

(courtesy of his little sister’s complaints)

and now !! you were getting rained on !! because he didn’t bring an umbrella !! just in case !!

!!!!

he turns to you, ready to shield you with his jacket and lead you back to the manor

but he’s at a loss by what he sees

he had expected you to be upset, to huddle closer to him, to,,,idk, maybe reprimand him for this thoughtlessness??

but instead, he finds you staring up at the dark sky, eyes shimmering with barely contained glee with the biggest smile he’s ever seen from you adorning your lips

he likes your smile

and if he was already confused (he was), he was about to become even more so

because the next thing he knows, you’re hiking your dress in one hand and grabbing his in the other, running through puddles of water and mud and everything in between, laughter falling from you like the rain

up until this point, you had been acting like the perfect (you hate that word) lady

polite, demure, charming-

in public settings, you only spoke when spoken to, with a voice that was purposely soft and soothing

you chatted with his mother and sisters about traditionally feminine things over tea with impeccable manners

whenever you two met, you were always prim and proper; never a strand of hair out of place

but here you were, getting not only yours but his clothes soggy and muddy, laughing without a care about how pleasant it sounded or how loud it was

seonghwa liked to think he wasn’t a judgemental person-

he wasn’t repulsed or anything by your sudden change in demeanor

just.

really confused

and when you looked back, you could tell,if his expression was anything to go by

but your grin only grew wider, because you could work with this

he wasn’t enjoying himself per say; a bit too confused and bit too stiff to do so

but he wasn’t horrified or disgusted

okay maybe he was a little grossed out; he liked to be clean thank you very much

you could work with this.

and so over the next few months, you showed him things he never dreamed of doing

some of which he liked, some of which he didn’t

some he was willing to try, some, less

like sneaking into the restricted section of the library (he’s never been so scandalized in his life)

or visiting the kitchen in the middle of the night so you could teach him how to make some basic recipes (which he surprisingly enjoyed)

or meeting hongjoong

(“of COURSE it matters if they got the colour wrong?! lord help me you’re the most insufferable person i’ve ever met-”)

and the more the two of you explored, the more he,,,real he became.

and vice versa.

gradually, the mask of perfection he worked so on hard to maintain was slipping before you

don’t get me wrong, he’s still kind and caring and a gentleman

but sometimes he would whine and complain when you encouraged him to do something he was less than enthusiastic about (usually something that involved getting him messy)

or he made The Face™ (the disgusted one) to you and when he didn’t like something or someone

or he would be stupidly stubborn about some random fact that you KNEW was wrong but he just WOULDN’T admit if even when you showed him proof

(“seonghwa for the last time toads don’t give you war-” “LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU” “eye-”)

once, he even playfully stole the strawberry from your cake

(big mistake. he’s never doing that again. he never knew a woman could move so fast or be so scary.)

it made you so, so happy because the two of you were finally getting to know each other

actually know each other

then one day, while the two of you were reading underneath a tree at the park

“,,,hey love?” (hwa)

“yes?”

“why are we doing this?” 

“what do you mean, dear?”

“i mean,,,i’m not complaining, but i guess,,,why did you decide to show me this part of you? the part that runs around in the rain?” hwa

you don’t reply right away

instead, you shut your book and idly stared at the willow swaying over the pond, wind running its fingers through its drooping leaves

after a few moments of silence

“,,,i wanted to know you and what you believed in. actually believed in.”

seonghwa tilts his head slightly to the side

“love, i hardly think my convictions have changed”

“but do you know what your convictions are?”

and you know when you hear something that resonates with you?

something that strikes deep in your core and makes you rethink everything you’ve know?

yeah,,,this is one of those moments

now it was seonghwa’s turn to set his book aside, falling deep in thought

after an unnaturally long stretch of silence, you began to panic a little

because ?? maybe you misread the situation and got a little too comfortable-

cause i mean you were questioning his core values, which is something he takes very seriously

o god you messed up didn’t you o crap you need to apolog-

“will you help me figure it out?”

“,,,huh??”

“will you help me figure out my convictions?” he asked

and you swear, you’ve never seen such a smile from seonghwa

one that conveyed a plethora of emotions, ranging from honesty and vulnerability, to confusion and loss, to lightness and warmth

it filled you with an unnameable feeling

like something sliding into place, fitting perfectly; like it was always meant to be there, filling you with comfort

shyly intertwining your hands for the first time, you looked up to meet his gaze with a pattering heart and a smile matching his own

“,,,of course.”