#its more like. i don't think my gender is fully Female or Just Female but Female isn't wrong?

[0046incognito]

i promise this isn’t being asked in ill intent, just curiousity:

how does hibiki being trans work since he’s a robot? if i have to guess, was he originally built to be female but he decided he preferred to be male instead? if not, if you’re comfortable can you elaborate on his trans story? <:) i recently rediscovered your art and i think the lgbt rep is very cool 🥺

TRANS ROBOTS IS SOME OF MY FAVORITE PART OF CMY2K WORLDBUILDING especially because both robots as a trans allegory and explicitly transgender-in-text robots are extremely important thematically. and this kind of thing is just interesting to think about!

basically yes hibiki was originally built female but considers himself 100% male instead. the only physical transitioning he's done is he gave himself a haircut partly because he's scared of maintenance/repairs/upgrades, but he's also a kid he's only ten so it's not like he needs much more than a haircut and people respecting his name and pronouns

and he's not the only trans livicom either!! there's quite a few actually, some of which are spoilers because they figure out their gender over the course of the plot and it's key to their free will/self-actualization journey, but plenty others already know they're trans from the start and either have transitioned or fully intend on doing so. mantid for example is in the latter category, and i don't mind spoiling this because it's so inevitable and kind of very obvious with the way he carries himself and hints at wanting it but he literally gets top surgery in his spotlight episode

physically transitioning gender is WAY easier for robots than it is for humans, since rather than having to take hormones and Wait, you can just switch out your parts at will. if you know which screws connect what you can even easily do surgery on yourself to Remove dysphoria-inducing anatomy, it's Adding parts that's more difficult because you have to find someone that will make and provide you with custom parts

but also on that note, livicoms by default don't have genitalia whatsoever, it's just flat down there like a barbie/ken doll UNLESS they're a model that was explicitly made for sex work, so bottom surgery is less of a thing unless they're either A) a sex worker android that wants different anatomy B) a sex worker android that wants No anatomy or C) a non-sex worker android that Wants anatomy

in terms of socially transitioning, when it comes to nonbinary robots, just as many of them use it/its as ones that use they/them, whether it's a matter of "reclaiming the dehumanizing use of it/its or just especially proud of being a robot to the point they don't want anything to do with feigning human identity" [as is the case with KK] or just because it/its is seen as a fairly default gender-neutral pronoun for robots. those aren't the only gender-neutral pronoun options [plenty of neopronouns existed pre-'99]; carmine for example uses xe/xem

speaking of KK, it's my favorite example of being both "robot as a trans allegory" and "textually transgender" at the same time, since its whole thing is "i'm sick and tired of feigning humanity for the sake of making humans more comfortable, just let me be myself [which is a robot that has decided to fully reject human notions of gender]". it's also basically ship of theseused its entire body by replacing/modifying All its parts as its transition, so good for KK

since this is 1999 and all, transphobia and homophobia alike are pretty rampant in society and not as open or known about as it is today, so circles of trans robots modifying their own bodies are kept pretty hush-hush and word of mouth, and they're very tightly knit and plenty of them try to go as stealth as possible. circa episode one hibiki isn't even really remotely aware of any other trans robots, he just came to this conclusion completely on his own and has yet to meet other robots like him, but trans humans keep pretty tightly knit too, so he has zinnia to look at as a trans role model at the very least [since she's a pre-E trans woman trying to go stealth][on the subject, blue is trans too, they're nonbinary and use he/they, but they're not out publicly nor do they know what the word for it is, so most people just call them he/him. zin's the only one that knows and Gets It]

i hope that sufficiently answered your question and if it raised any additional ones i am more than happy to answer^_^

[spacedykez]

.

[vexingwoman]

I'm sorry if this isn't articulated well and is a little rambly, I'm autistic, please take my words with a grain of salt. as a former member of that "whump community" (who's still into that kind of media) I know most of them are tifs, tho I was in it more when most of the popular writers on tumblr were still girls. It's also primarily autistic people from my experience.

you're definitely 100% right that they're not identifying as real men, I'm detrans and i don't even conflate the 2 in my mind which i think is a thing most RFs don't get about yaoi and this kind of thing, i didn't want to be a real guy, fictional men r like their own species lol. they're everything real men could never be. it might be hard to understand if you're less chronically online but I'm sure though not consciously, fictional men aren't even really related to real men in most of these people's minds.

With whump stuff I was always more uncomfortable or uninterested when it was a woman, maybe because women in media being hurt and weak is the norm (and it feels too real seeing a woman getting hurt since there's a closer connection), and it happening to men is an intriguing reversal. More male attracted women (im bi) are into more sensitive guys which sadly mostly exist in media, so it's just escapism.

I think that's also why they identify as trans males, they want to become closer to the fictional ideal of a male who can be soft and sensitive, or possibly being autistic and having trouble separating your special interests and escapist fantasies from every facet of your life.

(For context, this was sent in response to this post)

I think you’re onto something here. Brutality against female people is so common that we’re completely desensitized to it, and consequently, female characters being brutalized doesn’t emotionally move us. Either that, or brutality against female characters is highly sexualized, and further dehumanizes them. 

On the other hand, brutality against a male character is unexpected and unusual. Therefore, we are emotionally moved by it and able to recognize it for the tragedy it is. Indeed, this might explain why the “whump community” almost exclusively romanticizes the torture and anguish of male characters, and why so many of its members identify as trans guys. 

Furthermore, have you noticed that most of the tropes this community romanticizes are things that, at least in real life, female people are primarily the victims of? For example: rape, kidnapping, stalking, being drugged, being sold. It almost feels like an attempt to vicariously garner empathy for female suffering, without the element of being another cliché female victim. I feel like they impose female suffering onto male characters because they know the audience actually empathizes for males and views them as full human beings. 

In the end, I think it all comes down to female people’s desire to be fully humanized and to escape gendered stereotyping. For example, you stated that many trans-identified females “want to become closer to the fictional ideal of a male who can be soft and sensitive.” But why is a soft, sensitive male character so much more charming to them than a soft, sensitive female character? 

Because in their eyes, softness and sensitivity in a male character is seen as authentic; it’s seen as a consequence of his unique personality. But softness and sensitivity in a female character is seen as expected, as stereotypical—it’s seen only a consequence of her gender. This is also why characters who are fathers are adored, while characters who are mothers are overlooked or scrutinized. Because a male character taking care of children is kindhearted, nurturing, selfless, compassionate. But a female character taking care of children is just doing her job.

Basically, I think many trans-identified females would like their softness and sensitivity to be viewed as authentically as we view softness and sensitivity in males. I think many trans-identified females crave for their characteristics to be viewed as consequences of their unique personalities, rather than consequences of their gender. They crave to be seen as human first and female second—not the other way around. 

[saintsenara]

As someone who isn't the biggest Hermione fan and keeps it quiet because greater fandom LOVES her, I'm honestly gagging for more of your Hermione takes. Especially your takes on fanon Hermione, who I can't STAND. Have a good one x

thank you very much, anon - there are dozens of us!

hermione is certainly the character i struggle to find common ground with the most - and this has been the case since i first read philosopher's stone as a child.

[which has actually been a really fascinating pop-culture experience - i think we tend to overlook, both because the media landscape and its representation of child and teen girls has changed since the 1990s and because of jkr's increasingly harmful views on gender, just how groundbreaking hermione was as a female protagonist in media which wasn't marketed primarily or exclusively towards girls. there is a reason why so many girls and women identified with her when the books were coming out - and it was very interesting for me growing up to not be one of them.]

the cause of my beef with hermione is for the incredibly petty reason that i find people who possess many of her more... striking traits quite difficult to deal with in real life, particularly if they don't acknowledge [which people in the hermione vein often don't...] that these traits are things it might benefit them to work on in their interpersonal relationships...

but this doesn't prevent me recognising that canon!hermione [and any real person like her] is interesting - and that her more annoying traits work well with her more straightforwardly admirable ones to create a fully-rounded character who, from a fanfiction perspective, is a great vehicle for all sorts of tropes, themes, and storylines.

which brings us - of course - to fanon!hermione...

fanon!hermione is, at her core, another brick in the wall of mary-sues. she's beautiful, and so clever she can solve millennia-old puzzles without batting an eyelid, and she's preternaturally emotionally intelligent, and she's morally spotless, and she's always right, and the story's preferred romantic partner worships the ground she walks on, and anyone who doesn't like her is punished.

i don't think - to be clear - that there is anything wrong, per se, with people wanting to write fanon!hermione [nor, to be frank, with other flawless fanon versions of female characters, oc mary-sues, or self-indulgent self-inserts - i'll defend the right to have fun with characters to the death]. this is a hobby, and people's way of engaging with that hobby doesn't have to appeal to me - it's fun escapism sometimes to write a character who is wonderful and perfect and beloved and has a sexy partner; and when it comes to accusations of writing someone "out-of-character", let she who is without sin cast the first stone...

but i also think - and [sigh] here comes some discourse - that fanon!hermione is part of a slight... girlbossification of female characters in the harry potter fandom [and presumably in others, i just don't follow closely enough to know] which i've always been a little uneasy about.

i understand why this happens - this fandom, like many, has an overwhelming preference for making blorbos of male characters and for imagining these characters in slash relationships. the treatment of female characters in slash subfandoms - i.e. tonks in wolfstar spaces; lily in jegulus spaces - is often straightforwardly misogynistic, and even in cases where it isn't, female characters are often shuffled quietly to the sidelines, except when they pop up - often suddenly in a queer pairing of their own - to benignly cheerlead the male couple.

and i think it's good that this is challenged - as i also think it's good that the heteronormative vibes of a lot of slash are challenged - and that we, as a fandom, are increasingly interested in female-centric works [whether focused on a romantic pairing or otherwise] and discussions. i hope these continue to take up fandom space.

but i have also noticed that the way female characters are written and talked about in these context is - as i've said - quite #girlboss in its approach. the focus is on women as clever and competent and feisty and unruffled and brave.

[including female villains, there are a lot of girlboss bellatrixes knocking around...]

and great! it should be! - but from what i've seen this also comes accompanied by a resistance to the idea that women can also be boring, unintelligent, self-infantilising, vain, arrogant, ignorant, talentless, meek, domestic, rude, dislikable, conservative, incurious, complicit in their own victimisation, plain wrong, and so on, and not only still be worthy of exploration, but be worthy of these characteristics not being automatically considered bad things for someone to possess and it not being seen as letting down the sisterhood to explore a woman who possesses them.

and, sure, hermione cannot be described as many of these things - but she is...

self-righteous; cruel; petty; from a privileged class background in the muggle world which blinkers her understanding of the class structure of the wizarding one; stubborn; terrible under pressure; shown by the text to be intelligent largely due to an ability to rote learn; a people-pleaser with a tendency towards a slightly hagrid-ish blind loyalty; extremely deferential to authority and willing to tolerate cruel treatment from authority figures [i.e. snape]; the most childlike of the trio [she takes her schoolbooks on the run and reads through them for comfort! she's an enormous animal lover!]; interested in one of form of stereotypical femininity [knitting! wearing pretty dresses!] even if she rejects the form of stereotypical femininity liked by e.g. parvati and lavender [and anyone who thinks she's not going to get along with her mother-in-law because molly's a housewife is dead wrong - she's having the time of her life helping put together a sunday lunch at the burrow]; possessed of a filthy sense of humour [i will never understand why emma watson said that the key to playing her was to be prim...]; someone who obviously wants to be liked and to be loved; and so on...

[and also, by the end of the pre-epilogue narrative, eighteen. she's often written in fics in a way which makes her sound like she's seen a lot of life - especially if the fic wants to claim she's "too mature" to bother with men her own age... but she hasn't - she's a teenager, and the reason she's so unpolished and abrasive is because literally all teenagers are unpolished and abrasive. it's just one of the mortifying agonies of growing up.]

we should love this. it makes her thorny and messy and mixed-up and human - and i am perfectly delighted by explorations of her character which delve into unravelling this tangle.

i just like her less as someone who is there to be right and beloved and uncriticised.

unless it's by ron. everyone should be uncomplicatedly adored by their wife guy.

[pinchinschlimbah]

On "Coming Out" and Noel Fielding

I mentioned forever ago that I had this post in mind and then never got around to it, but now with the new interview quote I was yelling about recently it feels like a particularly good time to get it out of my brain and onto the page! tl;dr: musings on the concept of "coming out" as it has evolved over time, whether it's something that should continue to be necessary or expected of queer people, and why Noel is particularly inspirational to me in that regard since this is, after all, my brainrot blog. This may be extremely long and a bit disjointed but I hope some of y'all will enjoy it!

So a while ago myself and several friends were discussing the concept of coming out. All of us are some flavor of queer both in gender and orientation, but each is in a different place along their self discovery and identity journey, with some being long since out and proud, and others just starting to dip their toes into exploration past the expected cishet.

This discussion actually was prompted by a different discussion about Noel, spurred by comments we'd come across slamming him as being homophobic/transphobic on Bakeoff for making comments suggesting he has romantic or sexual attraction towards Paul, referring to himself with female-centric terms, playing female characters in the skits, and a particular moment where he brings up Old Gregg while talking to KimJoy and says "he was a sea transsexual....quite a demanding role for me" while laughing to indicate that that last part was said in jest. Hey fellas, is it homophobic/transphobic to be a little bit gay and trans? This got us talking about how the current culture of queer identity has evolved to the point where "coming out" feels more like something the public feels they're owed in order for them to view one's expression as valid, rather than its original purpose as something one does for themself in order to live most authentically. I don't think I need to go into detail about how many artists have been harassed by their "fans" into coming out before they were ready because people wouldn't accept the validity of that person's work without knowing exactly how that person identified, there've been plenty of articles and video essays and better written tumblr posts about that, but it's definitely a concerning trend. It can be particularly dangerous when it comes to people who aren't feeling confident or safe enough to come out, who end up being criticized and shunned by the queer community as being somehow problematic for not being able to fully articulate to a group of strangers the ways in which they're experiencing their identity. In this situation, the people who are struggling the most end up with the least support. Forcing people to either declare an identity or get out just leads to more people staying closeted out of fear of doing it "wrong" and never getting the chance to explore the most authentic and joyful versions of themselves, or even worse, feeling the need to out themselves before they're in a safe place to do so and suffering the resulting consequences. Questioning or cautious people deserve space in the community to experiment even if they haven't yet or maybe never will come out! My high school's Gay Straight Alliance was comprised entirely of "straight allies" when I was there. There was not a single "out" person in the school at the time. Nearly all of us in the GSA ended up being some flavor of queer or trans years later after graduation. But whether it was intentional closeting or just feeling an innate affinity towards something we couldn't quite pinpoint at the time, we all knew we belonged there and made that space for ourselves and others like us. Back when "coming out" first became a concept in the public consciousness, it was during a time where cishet identity was not just considered the default, but the only option. By coming out, queer people were giving genuinely revolutionary representation for themselves and others like them by telling the world that, as the old saying goes, we're here, we're queer, get used to it! Nowadays, we're lucky to live in a culture that is much more cognizant of queer identities being a thing, so in many cases coming out has become less about having to explain to those around you the basic concept of queerness existing, and moreso about which specific identity you fall under, and that's where things get messy.

My friends and I shared our own thoughts and experiences. One is currently identifying as "unlabeled" because they haven't found a term that feels correct yet, and therefore hasn't come out because they wouldn't know what to say. One spoke about how when they first came out they were much more insistent on what terms or pronouns people used for them but as time has gone on they've grown to find joy in being inscrutable and letting others wonder what they're perceiving. One expressed that given the state of the world they've been retreating somewhat back into the closet for safety reasons rather than being super outward with their queerness like they used to and is working on learning to embrace those parts of themself again. One said they felt like they'd already been existing as queer and expressing that queerness "before I even had the terms to come out to myself" and is now working on catching up on the conscious end of figuring out what's what. I myself never really had an official "coming out", I just became increasingly visually/socially/vocally queer as I became more and more confident in who I was and what I wanted to be and who I had on some level always been, and decided if people didn't get the hint that's their own problem. I came into consciousness of my queerness during the early 2010s original tumblr MOGAI microlabel boom, where there was a ton of focus on figuring out the hyper specific identity labels that exactly described what you were experiencing. I did a lot of digging and soul searching and experienced a lot of unnecessary stress trying and failing to find my perfect labels and landed on clumsy terms like "full time drag queen" because it was the closest I could get to what I was feeling about my gender, only to be told it was problematic for me to call myself that as an AFAB person because drag "belongs to cis gay men" (don't get me started on that statement, that's a whole other essay lol) It was a real wake up call once I distanced from these aggressively labeled and segmented online spaces and made my way into real world queer communities where I was relieved to find that in fact no one there asks to check your membership card before letting you in, if you feel like you belong there you're welcome no questions asked.

I had other people in these communities referring to me as "queer" and "fag" and "gay" and "queen" before I felt comfortable doing so myself based on online Discourse I'd experienced over who is Allowed to use certain terms, and having these community leaders I respected recognizing those things in me and welcoming me in like that gave me the confidence to really find my own footing in ways that attempting to find my exact correct identity label so that I could officially proclaim it never did. Once I could answer the question of what I was with a shrug and "queer I guess!" things became so much easier. Microlabels can be incredibly helpful and liberating for some, don't get me wrong if it works for you that's great, but let's not pretend that everyone is going to have the same experiences.

So anyway, back to Noel. Noel has never, to my knowledge, ever had any sort of official “coming out” or explicitly referred to himself as queer. So I know there are people out there who will disagree with me considering him to be queer. But so much of what he’s said and done throughout his several decades long career has indicated to me that this is clearly someone of queer experience navigating the world as such, and just as the queers in my local community welcomed me as one of them before I knew to do it myself, I extend that welcome forward. 

Let’s take a look at some of the facts. In the public span of his career, Noel has.....(in no particular order, also if anyone wants to add additional instances of note in the reblogs or comments please feel free, this is by no means a fully comprehensive list) -repeatedly called himself "the woman of the Boosh" or Julian's/Howard's "wife" in ways that suggest that's how he actually felt about it rather than it just being a punchline that he was mistaken for female in the show [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] -referred to himself at the GQ "Man of the Year" awards as "never been a man" and "a sort of girl, he/she" -been referred to by Sandi Toksvig as being "on the cusp" in regards to gender, to which he reacts with amusement and acceptance -consistently expressed excitement and appreciation when others refer to him with feminine terms or say he looks like a girl [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] -said "I love being a man-woman, it's much more interesting than being one or the other" and expressed that the loved shooting the Boosh Electro episode for this reason -referred to Vince Noir (a character who he's been pretty open about being based on himself) as "wasn't seemingly one gender or the other" -expressed that he felt most free and happy when presenting femininely [2] -had Julian, one of the people closest to him, express that Noel and Sandi (an out lesbian) may have "real sexual chemistry" because Noel is "all over the shop, he's a different sex" -used the "Confuser" line of "Is it a boy? Is it a girl? I'm not sure I mind" to refer to himself rather than Vince, and express that he's had to work to find new ways to feel as androgynous as he'd like now that he's older -referred to himself as a lesbian [2] -said that he "sometimes looks in the mirror and sees a woman", in the same interview that Julian implies that Noel is in fact a girl -referred to himself as a "girl/boy" -consistently referred to himself with feminine terms on panel shows and bakeoff -made a joke on bakeoff about not being a testosterone-based person -responded positively when asked about the ways Boosh had influenced queer and nonbinary youth -has said he's "quite obsessed with the man/woman mixup thing" -has said if he was an animal he'd want to be a seahorse because the males get pregnant -Had Lee Mack, who Noel used to live with, refer to him as "the little transsexual one, yeah I think she's fantastic" in a Boosh documentary and "a young lady who came out here happy to be herself" in response to Noel's Wuthering Heights drag performance -had his own mother refer to him as "the daughter I always wanted" -described his own appearance as that of a "transsexual witch" and when an interviewer attempted to make fun of him for calling himself "a transgender witch" by showing Noel a drawing the interviewer clearly found repulsive, Noel responded that the interviewer was "holding up a mirror" and called the image his passport photo

And I'm not even going to bother citing sources on the countless times he's made comments suggesting romantic or sexual attraction towards men. Literally just watch any non-character appearance he's ever done, it's kind of his whole thing??? Not to mention his penchant for picking up explicitly queer and gnc character roles, and also just [gestures vaguely to everything Noel and Julian have said about each other suggesting romantic and sexual tension between them and how they used their characters as an excuse to explore those feelings in a less scary way, again that could be a whole other essay on its own but ooh boy] I also think there's something interesting to explore in the idea of Noel repeatedly referring to his appearance as transgender or transsexual rather than identifying himself as such- at what point does the appearance of something become reality?

It all begs the question- is it even a joke anymore if it's that consistent? Either it's not a joke and it's an authentic expression of his real feelings and experiences, or he for some reason really really wants everyone to believe that he's queer when he's not, with this behavior spanning back to a time before the concept of queerbaiting was on anyone's minds and when being publicly queer could mean the end of your career. Which scenario do you think is more likely? And, does someone who’s been conducting themself like this for their entire career really NEED to come out? Honestly, I find this level of simultaneous authenticity and inscrutability aspirational.

In this Velvet Onion interview from 2012, Noel compares his penchant for dresses to both Grayson Perry and Eddie Izzard. This is interesting because those two people represent pretty opposite intentions behind their presentation- Grayson identifies solidly as cis male, and for him the shock value of crossdressing is the point, saying “I signed up for a gender and I want them to be very clearly delineated so I know I’m dressing up in the wrong clothes.” This doesn't seem particularly in line with where Noel is coming from given him famously referring to himself as "the Confuser" and stating in that same Velvet Onion interview that he "never even bothered giving it a label, I never went oh I'm a transvestite, I just went yeah if I fancy wearing a dress I do, never really thought about it really" Eddie on the other hand has famously said "They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes, I bought them." indicating that they were a genuine part of her authentic expression rather than a crossdressing costume, and has subsequently over the years identified more and more solidly as transfemme. I find Eddie's trajectory particularly fascinating because it's been so non-linear. In the 90s when the language for transness was much less public knowledge, she referred to herself consistently as a transvestite- a cishet man who enjoyed dressing as a woman, as well as using terms like "male tomboy" and "male lesbian" and "a full boy plus extra girl". Despite doing most of her standup shows in femme looks, most of her acting jobs were male-presenting, and there was a period of time in the 2010s where she dropped the femme presentation entirely in an attempt to be taken more seriously as the "crossdressing" was seen by many as a gimmick. Swinging back around more recently, Eddie has been explicitly identifying as genderfluid and transfemme, and in recent years has made the decision to "be based in girl mode from now on", and use primarily she/her pronouns. Since this announcement, in her trans advocacy work Eddie has described herself as being "out" as trans since the 1980s despite all of the above. She always knew who she was, it's just she's gotten access to more accurate terms over time to describe what she was experiencing, as well as feeling more safe to do so the more that transness became a known and accepted concept in the public eye.

The interview I mentioned at the very start of this post isn't really a coming out from Noel. And I don't think we'll ever really get one from him. In my opinion Noel has spent the past several decades conducting himself as someone who is in fact already out- it’s pretty clear Noel knows and is proud of who he is regardless of how he chooses to describe that identity. At this point, making some sort of official statement would just be for the benefit of others looking for clarification on their own perception of him and people who want to be able to put him in one box or another, and that’s not what coming out should be. The statement in the new interview is not "I am genderfluid", its "I've always been genderfluid", simply putting an accurate name to what's always been publicly visibly true now that he's got the terms to do so.

[butch-reidentified]

do you think it’s possible for a lesbian to be somewhat attracted to a trans woman (who passes well) if the only place she sees the tw is online/in videos/in pictures? i’m gender critical and i believe attraction is based on sex, but if somebody strongly resembles the same sex and you’re only seeing them from a physical distance, wouldn’t it make sense for somebody attracted to that sex to be able to find them attractive? (not referring to pursuing a relationship with them)

its almost 4am at the end of a long work week, and I'm still recovering from covid, so I hope this is coherent lmao

ik this will be controversial but I urge people to really mull over this before reacting in anger, though I really do understand the impulse:

honestly, as a (former) neuroscience researcher and someone still deeply passionate about neuroscience who likes to read neuroscience journal articles in her spare time... I think it's fucking complicated and there's a bit of intellectual dishonesty on both sides. the TRA side claims you can (only!) be attracted to someone's internal identity or ~gender feelings~ while the gc side claims that there is NO circumstance in which a person could pass well enough as the opposite sex to be perceived as attractive by someone whose orientation includes that "passing" sex.

and yet, I've had the experience of being at an lgbt bar or club and seeing someone I thought was a cute masc woman initially, only to realize it was an androgynous or slightly effeminate-appearing gay man - and many many lesbians I've told this to have shared similar experiences with me. I know a male transitioner online who is really cool and calls himself a eunuch rather than a woman or anything, and while I don't find him attractive, I have to admit that in the ~100ish photos I've seen of him (incl many candid full body ones taken by other people), I've not been able to "clock" any distinct male characteristics. maybe that would be different in person, but we live on totally different continents so idk.

I've known a TON of trans people irl, likely far more than most people on radblr or anywhere. this is partly because Florida has the second highest # of trans people in the country, and partly bc of where I went to college, and partly because my life is just strange like that. but I'll admit I've known a couple mt"f"-transitioned folks who I truly had no idea were male for quite some time - physically or behaviorally.

the reality is that your brain only knows what it perceives, and if it perceives a male as a female without your knowledge, and your orientation includes females, then it could be possible to feel attraction. however, I'm preeetty damn sure that would not persist beyond learning that person's sex is male, at which point you'd probably suddenly start noticing whatever male traits you were able to overlook initially. but I don't think it makes rational sense to claim that it's never possible to experience "mistaken" attraction for a period of time. there are known cases of historical women who lived as men who were flirted with by straight women who believed them to be male, for instance.

this is one of those situations where the truth (what I've said above) could be twisted and deliberately misinterpreted by the opposing party, which I believe to be why so few, if any, are willing to acknowledge this. but it's a question I've pondered a lot and this is the only logical conclusion I've reached. and it simply is not rational for anyone to act like anything I've said here implies that homosexuals can/should be open to dating/sleeping with the opposite sex. anyone who could come to that conclusion from this response needs a seriously intensive review of reading comprehension.

like I said I'm not fully awake so I'm sure I could have made my points here more clearly and I'm sure I'll get retaliation from people who want to nitpick my wording or whatever, like usual, but o well.

[defectivefanboy]

Hey there! I’ve read a few of your posts now and I truly enjoy your writing, you’re very good at it ^^

I was wondering if I could request an Alastor x gender neutral reader who is similar to Beetlejuice (personality and power wise). Like, how did he feel about them at first? And how did it progress into more of a relationship.

If not, that’s completely alright! I hope you have a great rest of your day <3

~ 🕷️🕸️

yessir!! this is actually the first time (and second for good measure) that I watched Beetlejuice fully through.

I was wondering if I could request an Alastor x gender neutral reader who is similar to Beetlejuice (personality and power wise). Like, how did he feel about them at first? And how did it progress into more of a relationship.

Overall notes: Stories written on this blog are GN until specified. While this story uses they/them pronouns, and I don't mind female readers on my blog, I do not write for y'all, and if you are a fetishizer fuck off????????????????? ew.

C/W: Cursing, Mentions of Pervertedness, its Beetlejuice, You're canonical Jesus Christ /j, or am I?, Dark humor, Possessive Alastor, Mentions of Bite marks, Dirt ball reader, just reader being gross here and there, nothing too much, youre Beetlejuice, reader has universal rizz

Notes: If you read the C/W warnings it was real late leave me alone. you'll understand when you get there. writing this my mind kept straying and just wanted to write Alastor love because god holy fuck I love him. Im an actual slut for domestic alastor I could write him all day.

The Radio Show...

Oh he's truly interested in you. Not remotely romantic or even platonically, but he is interested (at least at first)

Lets be real quick, he knows hes in hell, but what IN the hell is he looking at.

And what was that outfit you were wearing??? Did you just get out of prison prom???

But your first meeting with him was... interesting to say the least

But then again I think all your interactions are interesting (always more, never less)

But damn. He just had to think the 'sinner' was new to hell and could easily get a quick bite

Poor Alastor really thought the 'sinner' that looked around hell like a lost child as he strolled up with his uncanny smile

Last thing he expected was a jumpy, sporadic, and unfortunately a bit more then a little bit of a pervert.

The record stopped more than a few time at your comments–- Sorry Alastor.

And it had only been a few minutes of meeting you (rip)

And to be honest with you. come here. little closer

He did not know what in all of hell you were trying to pitch to him

He couldn't even get a word in with how fast you talked

And how many voices you did, you basically had a conversation to yourself.

"Ghost can't even scare humans away anymore, pfft. Can't you believe that shit. The last jack offs wouldn't even call me, I had to get some human girl to do it. Is it weird it happened twice? Second time her mom was dead! Gets funnier each time."

Oh?

Humans?

Now you have his interest

And you were able to travel to the human world

"So you're a hell born demon then, correct?" Alastor asked quirking a brow at the questionable individual in front of him, who quickly stopped talking to, well, themselves and snapped their head to him. They seemed to had just gotten here... or gotten back, as their clothes were slightly tussled and their hair was flying everywhere

With a quick dusting of your clothes you straightened your posture. Clearing your throat you spoke in a flat monotone voice. "Well, no actually, uhm, I was born in a manger inside of a barn, my mother, was a virgin and my step father Jospeh was a real piece of work let me tell you that. Died for your sins, y'know, should be thanking me."

This is the first time the radio show had gone radio silent... before he walked away.

Alastor had met a lot of demons, probably killed even more.

Hell he has even put up with that horny spider, but this was the first time he had to take a breather from another sinner? demon? enigma?

But damn it all to hell, he was curious

He had been for so long and he had only interacted with lower hellborn demons.

The occasional Goetia or hell royal would make a public appearance, but that that was all.

Never had he interacted with someone who went from hell to the human world on the daily

The first few meetings he truly tried to keep his distance, keyword tried

But you can only keep a person who teleports around at a distance for some long

Though it to end in you being pushed back by his microphone when you got a bit too close on accident more often then not

But overall he enjoys each of your meetings, enjoy being used loosely

He was more interested in the ever changing world of humans

You only get as knowledgeable of the new world as it comes in, but you have to find them

So having a way to always keep updated he truly enjoyed.

He kinda saw you as, well, while he would say a mole, as you get him information

Not that you honestly realize, you kinda just talk about random shit

He sees you as well, as uh, ahem...

"Quite the squirrelly fellow you are, aren't you?" He quipped with a smile on his face. The both of you walking along one of the many roads of hell as you talked about your latest excursion to the human world. Giving him a confused look you gave him a side eye a you spoke. "Now, what do you mean by that, hm? I don't storage tree nuts in my cheeks, I storage metal nuts in them." Taking your hand you drug into your cheek and pulled out a rusted nut before offering it to him. In which he squatted away with his microphone.

"No."

Alastor in or out of a relationship now seems like the calm one out of the pair whenever you two are together

And he always has a tilt to his head whenever he's with you as if he's always curious about your next move (well bc he honestly is)

Getting into a relationship is simple to him, but not to you.

He had to explain a few times (many times) to you that you two were on a date while out. Thank the lord he has more patience then he let's on

Truly he's only patient with you after learning he'll get no where either way

He tried threatening at one point, but it didn't work when you tried getting him to work for you in the human world.

Spoiler alert: that also didn't work

Alastor did tried to ask you out in a traditional way. Taking you to dinner, albeit at a cannibal restaurant, he really didn't know what you ate

He was disgusted when he found out, almost gagged, had to take a moment for himself

But he tried asking you out in a nice, classy, quiet place.

Spoiler again: didnt work

His question when right over your head.

"Go out? Aren't we already out? What we doing then? How more out do you wanna be? Gotta say though, never been to a place this fancy, must got some walking cash, huh? You know we could start a business together I be the brains, face and you can be..." You droned on as your hand flared around as you spoke. Alastor stared at you as static rumbled from his chest, one eye twitching in annoyance. Sighing he shook his head as he stared with a smile. Maybe you didn't understand what he was asking, or maybe you did. To be honest he doesn't know how much you know, but maybe letting you go on about whatever it is you're planning and get a deal out of you.

Nothing big, just a small pact that you two are "partners."

Cheeky Bastard.

He did tell you eventually someday, he's not heartless

Don't mention that it was after he had convinced you to move in his home (or apartment?? he staying at the hotel?? like??)

But it's another story for getting you to take a shower or a bath.

While Alastor isn't a clean freak or anything he much rather keep his house clean and smell free.

Alastor had quite a few sleepiness nights when you decided to sneak into his bed without a shower.

He almost banned you from the house until you agreed to take a shower after 'work'

now onto the good part

While he doesnt enjoy physical touch from anyone, only part taking in it when he's making someone uncomfortable

He settled on the fact you were gonna keep making every effort to get into his personal space

You only found out he enjoyed having you near him when your items from the guest room you had been staying in were now in his room

Be it having a hand placed on the middle of your back or letting you fiddle with his fingers as you talk

He always finds a way to get a touch in on a daily basis

What can he say? he likes to have a hold on what's his

That's another thing

He's a possessive lover, or person in general but ignore that right now

He just doesn't understand

Why do you have so much rizz

Both sinners and hell born demons seem to love you

And he hates it

Loathes it

If we wanted to get Nsfw real quick

He likes to leave bites and marks on you so even humans know where you belong <3

Going back to sfw

On the outside, beyond the walls of his home. He's well, he's Alastor

Cunning, Cruel, and Evil

But inside? .......Hey Siri, can you domestic a deer?

We already know he enjoys cooking, his mothers recipes are always a hit. He does have to convince you to eat something if it's new.

But he's decently domestic within the comfort of his own walls. As domestic as he can be will a feral dog in his home now. At least you're potty trained, right? Right??

He always enjoyed being alone, especially when he needed a break.

But as weird as it was for the first few months

Going to bed alone in a quiet home, everything neat and orderly was always a treat for the

just to wake up to a god awful mess like a hurricane had hit only the inside of the house.

Thankfully he's unable to fully freak out when he feels the weight of a body laying on him.

Arms wrapped securely in place as he moved around trying to view the full scope of the mess.

The look of defeat only rested on his face for a moment before he was pulled down by striped arms.

"What are staring at, red?..." You said half asleep as you pulled on the back up his shirt collar. "it's still too early to worry about the mess. Come back to bed" He gently shook his head in disgust opening his mouth to speak before getting cut off by a strong pull of his shirt. "I was setting up... sandworm traps. Couldn't't let them get my dearest deer." Alastor gave you a questioning look wanting to ask, but knowing better not too.

Sighing he let himself relax back into the comforter and wrap his arms loosely around as you laid right back on top of him. One of his hands softly treaded through your messy hair causing you to sigh and melt into his body. It was a quiet few moments until he had a passing thought.

"Wait... deer with an A, correct? Correct??"

He wasn't getting an answer from you anytime soon...

[blueangelcakes]

Hi :)! How are you ? I hope you're well ! I was wondering if I could request a headcanon or one shots? Or just a request actually lol.Would it be a headcanon or a one shot (which would be whatever you prefer but what do you care about a headcanon I think?) on Soukoku with a reader who would be like Ai Hoshino in the port mafia? The reader would have known each of them since approximately when they both entered the mafia and would have entered into it themselves after the mafia took them in. And the more Dazai and Chuuya know the reader the more they appreciate her but romantically despite the fact that she has never loved and that she is not sure of loving someone one day, especially since she noticed that Dazai and Chuuya loved him.And if you don't mind, add the reader's death like Ai's but with one of her subordinates stabbing her because he was sure she was lying when she said she liked her subordinates and that she would do its best to suffer as few losses as possible during the missions but there were a lot of them? And therefore replace Ruby and Aqua with Dazai and Chuuya when she dies?Sorry I wrote a paragraph, I didn't think I would write so much for a simple request - But sorry! Especially since I find that I asked A LOT instead of just asking for something simple🤦‍♀️ especially with the death of the reader (I cried so much when Ai died that my father thought I was crazy I think) Besides, if you are not comfortable with writing his death, don't do it. I wrote the reader's gender as female in the request but if you prefer you can make it gender neutral.And if you don't want to write the request or anything, don't do it and if you want to do it, take all the time you need!

Je ne parle pas anglais, alors j'ai utilisé Google Translate (mon meilleur ami) pour écrire ceci, donc je suis vraiment très très désolé pour les erreurs.

Prenez soin de vous et passez une bonne journée/soirée (ou nuit mdr) !

(and once again I am so sorry for my big request which is also super long)

Warnings:death, bad grammar i dint seperate dazai and chuuya separately so it coukd be just one thing

My honest reaction to this was excitement cause I am obsessed with Soukoku and ai so this is an amazing request!

Dazai and Chuuya were close tho niether of them acknowledged this cause of how stubborn they both are.

So when you entered the mafia everything was diffrent to say the least, they both were on guard around you cause of your eyes and positivity dispite being in the mafia.

Chuuya wasn’t particularly rude but not kind toward you he was neutral.he was unnerved by your eyes, how could someone with such bright eyes be in the mafia? He never questioned it too much as to not stress himself out but over the course of I’d say about 1 year he’d let his guard down not fully,and slowly he fell in love.

Dazai on the other hand was acting like “himself’ cheerfully eccentric as he is most time but he never truly let his guard slip. He’s a causious person who has been proven time and time again to not trust after all.So even after 2 or even 3 year his guard wouldn’t fall nor would his mask but thats not to say he didnt also felt romantic feelings toward you.As you three got even closer the more they got concerned,you were and overly cheerful and bright person they belive that a star like you shouldn’t be in a place like the mafia.But you had your reasons so the just left it alone.Until,they noticed how your eyes never held an once of sincerity when you told your subordinates that you loved them. your eyes were bright but so full of lies and deceit with a hint of desperation a desperation to belive your own words it always confused them.

You’ve know that they love you, it’s painfully obvious though you would like to return the sentiment you can’t you’ve never felt love towards anyone your entire life and resorted to lying about your love in how that it some day comes true.

You’ve had your eyes on one of your subordinates who’s benn acting strange they were alsways glaring when you’re around Chuuya an dazai you’ve brushed it off thinking they will just go away but it never stop it was always constant stares and glares in your direction Chuuya and dazai noticed and kept an eye on him.

So it wasn’t a big surprise to you when you got stabbed and it wasn’t to them either they were there as you bled out profusely you held Chuuya in your arms as dazai just stood there hovering over you two a mix of saddness and numbness swirling in his eyes completely frozen in his stop as if he was rooted there.

Chuuya on the other hand was sobbing in your hold he was loosing yet another person he cares about it’s heartbreaking and he only stoped once he realized you were actully dead but even then he was still sad even more so than chuuya one might say.

As you slowly lost consciousness you lifted chuuyas head up and whispered to the both of them”i.. love you guys..” when The realization settelesd in that it wasnt a lie a look of slight surprise coverd you face”now i know …that wasnt a lie..”

Im really not sure if im satisfied with this fic or jot but ive been putting off posting it for too long

[metanarrates]

i have a lot of mixed feelings regarding trans headcanons in orv, or in general in fandom spaces because of how often its taking transmisogynistic jokes and bending them to actually have a cool and awesome meaning instead of just reading fiction with transgender characters. how do you feel about this as an everyone in orv is transfem poster (not accusatory tone i am genuinely wondering your take on this)

I think it's complicated because i Do agree that most trans headcanons in fandom are rooted in transphobic ideas, especially when it comes to transfem characters. I actually personally wouldn't trust most people who headcanon characters as trans unless they're able to point out when something in the text is transmisogynistic. and orv does have transmisogynistic stuff in it. the whole joke with nirvana and the entire scene with the pink kids is based around transfems being predators and men in disguise. I really don't want to hang around other orv fans unless they're able to point that out. (also, i would Definitely not trust anyone who refers to those characters as trans icons or whatever.)

I'll also fully admit that I don't remember the revolutionary arc all that well. at the time when I first read it, I just simply assumed that jang hayoung was meant to be a trans woman, and any issues kim dokja had with recognizing her gender was interesting because of how it tied into the metafictional elements about how characters can change beyond a reader's perception. from my recollection, and from the readings of other people in my life who have read the novel, it seemed canon that she was intentionally transfem. similarly, I felt like the plot point of "yoo joonghyuk has a female alter ego" was taken pretty seriously, rather than being a meanspirited joke. if I'm not remembering that right, though, please let me know.

orv in general has a problem in depictions of lgbt people. there's the abovementioned transmisogyny with nirvana and the pink kids, and there's also the undeniable fact that "kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk are gay but haha Not Actually" is leaned on a little bit too much as a joke. I have a similarly complicated relationship to the idea of shipping them for that reason - I think their relationship is meaningful and rich, but I really dislike that the fandom seems to just take that joke as an uncritical BL trope, rather than discussing how it's sometimes a bit homophobic. again, I don't trust joongdok shippers who aren't able to discuss this.

at the same time, though, I do think that if you're aware of the problems in the text, it's possible to construct a lot of rich meaning out of applying queer lenses to the text. there's a lot to dig into regarding how the story depicts gender, for example, and how it depicts transcendence and self-actualization. you can't credit the authors here - like I said, their writing has several issues with lgbt people. but as long as you aren't advertising the story as Queer Fiction, I find that it's extremely valuable to discuss how a trans reading might cast an interesting light onto a character. and on a more personal level, I think having these sorts of open discussions about both the problems and merits of trans readings, as well as the issues present in a text, do tend to make a lot of trans people feel more welcome in fan spaces. both are necessary for making a story and space that may be hostile towards them feel more welcoming.

yes, I do agree that it would probably be better to read fiction with better trans characters. those stories are out there! this is also why I am wary to praise singshong for jang hayoung's character - I don't think orv exactly Deserves a reputation as a trans inclusive story, especially when there's a lot more of those that are much better at it out there.

but at the end of the day, there are going to be trans people who do like orv, all the same. I'm one of them, though I will say upfront that I am tme and therefore much less affected by the story's problems. my fiancee is transfem and she likes it. a lot of my mutuals who like orv are trans. I don't think it's such a bad thing that we've constructed these community readings in a work we already liked for its other merits. we're going to be here anyway. as long as we do our best to be respectful and point out problems as they arise, I think it's a good thing that we're having these sorts of discussions.

[thenightfolknetwork]

Im a nypmh. A forest nymph specifically. My days are spent dancing and singing and existing in the forest I was born to. Its great really. My forest is even protected so I dont need to worry about any sapios coming in an bothering me!

But Im also trans. Im a guy. But nymphs are supposed to be feminine and Im. Not. Ive already felt myself loosing connection with this forest as I begun transitioning. Im scared that if I fully transition, Ill lose it entirely. Can that happen? Or is the forest just disappointed in me?

Should I stop my transition? Ive tried to communicate with the forest but she wont respond to me when I bring it up. Im just not sure what to do

I'm sorry your forest seems to be struggling with your transition, reader. However, I think there is plenty of reason to stay optimistic here. You know as well as anyone that, if a powerful nature spirit really doesn't want you around, you'd know about it. The fact you still have a connection with her means she still wants you to have a connection with her.

You're correct in saying that nymphs tend to be female, but my understanding is that this is a linguistic matter rather than a biological one. The word we use for females of your genus is “nymph”, while males with similar cultural identities tend to be referred to as “satyrs”.

Your feeling of disconnect are very likely more related to how you perceive yourself rather than how the forest is perceiving you. The fact is, you cannot simultaneously think of nymphs as inherently feminine, and of yourself as a nymph, while also respecting and celebrating your own masculine identity.

Your forest can feel that inner conflict. She can see you're no longer comfortable with your identity as a nymph, but doesn't have the tools to help you through that discomfort. All she can do is try to give you space, loosening her hold on you and allowing you the freedom to make your own choices.

So, what are those choices, exactly? For one thing, I certainly don't think stopping your transition is a good idea. Your gender is not defined by your body, and a lack of medical transition won't make you any less male.

It also won't solve the underlying issue – that you, as a man, do not feel able to identify as a nymph. In fact, I suspect it will serve to disconnect you even more from your body and your forest, with the pain of dysphoria acting as a constant reminder of the authentic, masculine self you're trying to hide.

Instead, I recommend either unpacking your gendered assumptions around being a nymph, or embracing a positive, male alternative identity for yourself. Do you feel able to say of yourself, “I am a man and a nymph and these do not contradict each other”? Or would you be more comfortable identifying as a satyr or some other identity that feels more affirming?

There isn't a right answer here. You need to find something that works for you. But you do need to make that decision, and try to heal this conflict inside you.

As you do, I feel certain your connection with your forest will bloom anew – different than it was, perhaps, but also more authentic, connecting not with a mere idea or aspiration, but with the man you truly are.

[entropy-sea-system]

OK OK impromptu rant but I need to get this out there as I still feel somewhat connected to the aro community-

I have been watching the tags, I've been talking the people in my local a-spec community and I think it amazes me just how incredible the relationships put forth by aro and aces are, while the communities just don't reflect any of it.

I've stopped identifying with the aroallo label because there was no sense of community associated with it. The a-spec spaces are made for aces only and the ace stuff in them is abhorrent. I am tired of people passing it off as repulsion, while still seeing people saying "hookers" are disgusting in a-spec tags. I'm tired of people saying PDA is bad. I'm tired of people acting like aros and aces can only be clueless cinnamon rolls. I'm tired of people being so so so stuck in their own perspective of the world they act like people in romantic relationships can't be happy. So on and so forth.

The concepts we have are passionating. They're the coolest ones I've been exposed to in queer communities. However, nobody thinks about them. Nobody speak about them. All we have is endless messages about how the world is so so confusing or hatred directed at sex and romance. I get that but I wish we went even a tiny bit past that really. It's a community filled with adults that feels so immature and I honestly think there is some sort of self infantilization going on. I don't like that I don't have symbols that aren't associated with uwu smol bean dragon lover stuff. It makes me sick and is why I don't identify with it anymore but it's genuinely sad to see because technically that's still the people who will relate to me the most.

It feels like people are always desperate to understand how the norm works and how they can best align with it instead of fully experiencing their identity. And that's an understandable thing to do but the community is just that with sex and romance negativity sprinkled on top of it.

I wish they were angrier. I wish they were more introspective. I wish they thought about breaking the norms more instead of headcannoning every female character without a love interest as aroace and talking about how gross sex is. I wish I felt like I can connect with the people who are supposed to be at least partly like me.

Anyway you're cool and I hope you're doing well! Sorry to drop all of this onto you but yeah I trust you with my ranty feels about the community.

We didn't really expect this ask but thank you for sending it!!

There are a lot of issues with the aspec community, especially online, (we have no experience with irl ones yet). And what you described here explains the issues with it quite well.

I feel like most of the aspec community ends up catering to mainly aces, and to a lesser extent aros, and slightly to apls, while other atertiary is hardly discussed (and agender ppl often just lump w gender stuff instead even though its aspec). I think the community is also rather divided, personally.

We're in some discord servers w mostly other apls and aros/run by other apl aros (often also romo aro) and they tend to overall be normal about aspec identities without being negative about attractions or actions or gatekeeping aspec labels. Currently we logged off discord a bit but we have in the past been in aro spaces that had many of the issues you mention , and still come across people being that way on tumblr.

I think there is a problem where some aros think that calling romance inherently toxic is somehow "activism" and deny that romance negativity exists, then claim that they "don't have to consider every culture ever" when people state that some cultures are romance negative and do harm people for engaging in romance.

They seem to think its "punching up" and some alloaros in particular try to justify it by acting like the united states is the only country that matters and citing sex negativity as a reason for romance negativity "not existing". When aces do this about sex its harmful, but thats not supposed to be a reason to deny that being romance negative is toxic and harmful to others even if their country doesn't persecute people for engaging in romance.

I also personally see a some aros hesitant to id with ace or acespec terms that technically fit them because of how bad the ace community has been about sex and anyone who isn't ace, as well as aces and aros generally forgetting about atertiary ppl. Some of them prefer terms like lightspec or such or allospec partly because of that.

It's understandable that some people feel a disconnect from labels like aro and ace as a result of how the communities tend to be tbh. I've had moments when I didn't want to id as aro because of this, and I consider myself both aro and alloro due to my arospec orientation.

Also being tertiary repulsed and being repulsed by sex repulsion (it just happens to repulse me a lot to read about even if not stated in a sex negative way), makes it a bit hard to be around other aspecs. I feel really disgusted and triggered when other aros talk about squishes and qprs and friendships, even if I think they should be able to talk about that. Which makes it hard to be around some other aros.

I also get what you mean about people trying to align with the existing norm. I'm seeing a rise in people maligning labels they don't understand and this attitude of "the only kind of weird thats fine is the kind of weird I am", which the aspec community has certainly not been immune to either.

I feel like for some reason most aspecs I see online, especially aros, are minors? Maybe because the aromantic label only really caught on after 2005 iirc so older people less likely to have heard of it? Im not a huge fan of how aspec tends to be infantilised either. I find issues with how some of the aro symbols are very derivative of ace symbols because we are not some extension of ace we're our own community. I can also see how ppl may find it too infantilising to have symbols like frogs and griffons etc.

Also yeah what is with people doing that about characters who are women or girls and express that they don't want to get married??? Or even just don't have a love interest. I understand if aroaces want more headcanoned rep or non-aspecs I guess idk want to fill some headcanon diversity quota without actually supporting aspecs but.

Not wanting marriage or not having a love interest is not inherently equal to not wanting romance and/or sex. I feel especially that people like to assume not wanting to have children means not wanting sex (which I find pretty reductive in that its acting like thats the only reason ppl have sex, especially as a sex favorable person who doesn't want kids). And all aspecs deserve more canon rep to begin with. I think I have a gripe with ppls aspec headcanons almost always being alloace or aroace. It's like they forget other aspecs like apls, alloaros, neu aros, non sam aros, atertiary, etc. even exist!

Additionally I think its partly because romance is emphasized more for female characters that even fans decide to make their interpretations about romance/a lack there of as if its the character's only personality trait. In my opinion its just as obsessive about romance if someone thinks all there is to a character is not engaging in it. I also see people act like they're solely worried a woman/girl character is going to fall for a man/boy character they hc as aro but not often the opposite like. Just say you see romance as gendered/feminine in some way and go I guess lol.

I also feel like mainly allistic non-aspecs do this but when ppl hc an autistic character as ace or aroace it feels infantilising if theres literally no other rationale behind their headcanon. I feel desexualised at times as an autistic and thats mostly bc ppl pick up on some kind of nd thing and they assumed I'm too "innocent" to like romance or sex, or because they view us as "unable to consent"(which can be true of some people if their neurodivergence affects their ability to consent to things even as an adult, but isn't universally true.) . I think some of this perception is also rooted in eugenics (due to people equating sex with having kids and viewing disability and/or neurodivergence as a tragedy and thinking its 'bad' for disabled and/or nd ppl to have kids).

So I don't really appreciate implications that someone is ace just by virtue of being autistic. I think its also unfair to autistic aros and aces because our neurodivergence can influence our orientation, but being autistic does not mean that makes someone inherently ace and/or aro.

My physical disability is relatively mild and less talked about (chronic pain and fatigue), and I don't reveal it to most ppl(ppl who dont live with me won't know I get exhausted from non-taxing to abled ppl activities, and chronic pain is not visible at all and we can't get mobility aids due to not being independent yet) so Im not fully aware how people view my apl and aro identities in that regard.

And there is definitely an issue with aspecs trying to enforce NEW norms. They cry about how people are forced into performing romance and sex to fit in but then turn around and tell people they need to love or have friends or family or pets in order to be a good person. It's also very harmful to aspecs bc some of us are loveless or atertiary etc. in ways that aros and aces apparently hate lol. A lot of aros in particular are very platonormative.

The aro community is also rather hostile to romo aros. There are still people who exclude romo aros from the aro label or act like we have to bend over backwards and acknowledge that we are "amatonormative oppressors" for liking romance or feeling some connection to it.

I think also the meme about putting a box away on a tall shelf away from a child is relevant here. The word amatonormative is constantly misused by a lot of aros. I've seen aros call alloromantic apls "amatonormative" and act like "amatonormative" means 'person who engages in romance'.

Its not a term abt engaging in romance or liking it. It's also not an excuse to pressure people to have or like friends either. I think aros should have actual discussions about amatonormativity that aren't just US-centric and about romance(wow do aros love to ignore that monogamy, non-queer, cis, etc. are social categories deemed more valuable under amatonormative societal norms), instead of using it to describe anyone they deem as interested in romance .

On that note, a lot of them use some examples of toxic relationships as reasons to call romance toxic and almost advocate for romance to never exist(which is especially disgusting to see for me, as in my country a lot romance negative conservative rhetoric is literally worded the same way). These people almost never acknowledge that other relationships like friendship can be toxic too.

I think some of these people believe in 'morality of repugnance' in that they think if its something they personally find repulsive in some way, that means its inherently immoral, which is not conducive to having unbiased views of the world, or critical thinking. I think a lot of ppl my age and younger are especially trying to do this because Ive lost count of how many I've seen be like "ewww thats gross/weird and so its wrong/immoral", and literally spouting conservative rhetoric while thinking they're politically liberal/leftists, perhaps with different wording but yeah. (I think that one tumblr post abt ppl in that age range being 'conservative on accident', especially in the united states- though that is concerning given the way ppl from other countries tend to absorb american opinions and such too much, describes this phenomenon)

I think some aros are also still so caught up in how much of a tragedy they think their aromanticism is, and I feel bad for them but thats not all there is to being aro and its a bit weird when ppl act like it is.

I think one of the best things about being aspec for me is feeling more like I can engage in and not engage in relationships (Im only favorable to sexual partnerships w no label other than 'sexual partner', and romance only w two partners as of now, and completely averse to all tertiary/nonrose. before I fully realised my aspec identities i pressured myself to have friends and felt like I'd be obligated to be favorable to nonsexual romance if someone wanted that with me, to 'be an ally to aces', even though it repulsed me. I also felt obligated to want qprs especially after realising Im aro. Realising Im atertiary helped me stop forcing myself to want nonrose relationships.)

Anyways that was a lot of rambling but probably most of my opinions on the aro and some extent aspec community.

[beastlybardou]

Inspiration has struck and I just want to talk to y'all about how much I love Ginger Snaps and how I personally interpret its queerness as a werewolf story. This is inspired by my thoughts as I read Beware the Bite of the Were-Lesbian, but I opted to make it its own post because I don't want to derail that post away from lesbian discussion or to seem like I'm trying to say that I think my interpretation is a better one. I think that at its core Ginger Snaps is just a very queer story, one that each viewer is likely going to interpret as being about the group they most crave to see represented on screen, and that that is part of the beauty of it.

To me Ginger Snaps is a story about trans masculinity.

Before the bite, both Ginger and Brigitte express their displeasure at the idea of going through female puberty. This is seen in their disgust at the idea of starting their periods, being interested in boys, and being disturbed by their mother and the school nurse describing and being positive about the changes that they would be going through. Less explicitly, it can also be inferred that they may be experiencing dysohoria through their choices of layered baggy clothes that hide much of their body. I know when I was that age it was near impossible to pry me out of my baggy hoodie for that reason. However upon being bitten Ginger begins to change. As she sprouts more body hair, grows a small tail (easily interpreted as a phallic metaphor), and grows physically stronger and more aggressive (often viewed as male traits), she also gains confidence and comfort in herself. Its only after these changes begin that she starts to really stand up for herself and open up to socializing, becoming comfortable with being seen.

Upon the final transformation Ginger takes on a body that transcends human ideas of gender and sex. The wolf's gender is indistinguishable because it does not perscribe to human gender roles. The only sign of what was before the transformation is a pair of human breasts on an otherwise furred animalistic form, matching with the wolf that attacked Ginger which was described as being fully animal other than a human penis. I feel like the fact that these transformations seemingly change everything except for one sexual feature of the persons given the curse speaks of both the sexualizaton of trans bodies, and of the fact that we are still capable of change and going beyond traditional sex and gender perceptions even with body parts that many think tie us innately to our assigned sex at birth. The remaining features of what once was don't make the wolf any less of a wolf.

[jesses-life-updates]

people tend to think trans people are special snowflakes who get pampered by society so here's being trans from the perspective of a transgender 14-year-old who has no adult support in his life. please boost this message to transphobes, it might not change their minds but it could at least make them consider the real children they're hurting.

• when I came out at 13 I was yelled at by my parents until I cried

• according to transphobes it's somehow my fault that I was born with a female body

• people at school ask me what my pronouns are as an insult and call me slurs and nobody does anything about it, not even teachers care

• I came out to these people I thought I could trust and their response was to push me out of their circle of friends and harass me, constantly calling me a lesbian even though I'm not even a girl

• life seems to have lost its colour and I can't remember the last time I felt actual strong emotions

• actual grown ass adults complain about trans people on the internet just for clout and argue with each other about whether or not we deserve rights, as if that isn't the most dehumanising shit

• I've been told that my feelings don't matter by a teacher at my school because "people in countries at war have it worse"

• the prime minister of my country was on national television spreading hate speech about my people and everyone is acting like he's a saint for it, completely ignoring the other bad things he's done for this country because "he hates trans people and that's good"

• I have to stand idly by while trans people my age are committing suicide and I am so scared I will end up adding to that statistic

• there's bad apples in every group of people and just because I'm trans I have to be grouped in with every bigoted/hateful trans person when I'm just trying to keep myself alive and I'm not bothering anyone

• I am too scared to bring up my queer identity around anyone because I don't want them to think I'm shoving it in their face, it might as well be a secret even though I've been out for over a year

• i sometimes forget that I'm not physically a boy but then it hits me again when I see how much taller/deep voiced my male peers are

• I had to resocialise myself as male and change so many things about my behaviour that it's constantly at the forefront of my mind

• my chest constantly feels tight, I can't breathe deeply, my breathing is shaky and I get random rib pains every few hours

• I'm told that my gender is a "protected characteristic" but adults are doing a piss poor job at protecting me, I feel like I'm in danger because of being queer

• people at school harassed me so much for being trans that I practically forced myself back into the closet by telling them I don't care what they refer to me as (I most definitely do care)

• my identity is so normal to me but it's not normal for anyone else, I'll be talking about a girl crush I have thinking what I'm saying is normal but someone chimes in with "oh are you a lesbian?" and it brings me back to the harsh reality that being queer isn't normal

• I used to feel so much pride as a queer kid but now I just hate everything about being queer and I wish so badly that I could be just like everyone else

• more and more laws are being put in place against my people and one day I might not even be able to get gender affirming treatment

• the chemical imbalance in my brain is considered a political stance rather than just a rare condition a group of people have that shouldn't be a big deal

• I, a 14 year old boy, am more mature about gender than ACTUAL GROWN ADULTS who go on PUBLIC TELEVISION TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ME WHEN I AM JUST TRYING TO EXIST IN PEACE

• I keep being hit with the realisation that I still need to wait four years just for the chance of merely beginning to transition, which will cost me thousands of pounds and probably take more than ten years to fully transition, whereas my peers are just handed it at birth

• trans people are seen by society as "annoying" and "shoving it down people's throats" and "looking for an excuse to be special" for some fucking reason

• I have to juggle all this shit with trying hard in school and balancing life, all while my brain is not even fully developed yet. my cognitive and emotional processing skills aren't even close to being developed but i have to deal with suicidal thoughts, media pushing the idea that I'm mentally ill, internalised transphobia, constant harassment, transphobia from almost every single person in my life, feeling like a fucking freak for a chemical imbalance in my brain, and yet I STILL have to deal with normal teenage things like feeling ugly or struggling in school, and further yet I CANT TALK TO A SINGLE ADULT ABOUT MY SITUATION BECAUSE NOBODY BELIEVES ME OR SUPPORTS ME

• the cherry on top: there is absolutely nothing I can do about my situation until I turn 18, my only option is to suck it up and deal with it until either get actual help or end up killing myself

if you're an adult who thinks trans people are groomers/snowflakes/annoying/criminal, think about how your actions are impacting youth who are just trying to stay alive. you are not protecting children by making us wait longer for treatment or shielding us from supportive outlets. grow the fuck up. you're an adult, act like it. find something else to do with your life than attack an astronomically small minority of people.

[midnight-omega]

Anatomy hc

Okiii ur girl spent most of last night trying to figure some things out and draw some diagrams fr

This post focuses on the reproductive anatomy of my omegaverse. I'm gonna go through each of the 6 gender/dynamic combinations and give a little info about how I think it all works :> like everything else this varies from person to person so if this isn't ur thing no worries! If this is ur thing feel free to use it! But if you use my diagrams I'd appreciate it if you credited me be i spent a long time on them 😔

I also want to link this very in depth explanation because I did take a lot of inspiration from it for my male omegas! I adore this concept for them and I'll be using it going forward. The author talks about a lot more tho some of which imma steal some of which Im not :))

Okay lets get into it fr, be warned there are my messy diagrams of all kinds of private bits under the cut. Also if tumblr kills the quality im so sorry fr :((

Male Alpha

🌕 Let's start with our boys here.

🌕 Honestly they're pretty straightforward! There's not too many crazy anatomy changes here. They function pretty much the same as irl amab anatomy does.

🌕 They have a penis and external testes

🌕 They have a prostrate that can be stimulated via anal penetration

🌕 Male alphas tend to be on the bigger side concerning length/girth but this varies from person to person

🌕 Now, the defining characteristic of a male alpha is their knot. Only alphas have a knot!

🌕 The knot is soft tissue that expands during orgasm. This "locks" the penis into the vagina in order to facilitate conception. In simple terms, sperm stuck inside better change pregananant

🌕 The knot typically stays expanded for about 20min after orgasm, but this can vary. Any longer than an hour though, can be cause for concern

🌕 The male alpha usually has a larger knot than a female alpha and experiences higher chances of successfully "tying" (tying here meaning the knot actually gets stuck in the receiver)

🌕 An alpha can knot outside of rut, but these knots may be smaller or not fully expanded since they're lacking the overproduction of hormones that rut creates

🌕 A deflated knot is still visible as a ring of much softer tissue than the rest of the shaft

Female Alpha

🌕 oh boy, oh god, mother mary save us all

🌕 This one was so HARD to figure out fr... let me get into this

🌕 I've always liked the idea of a female alpha having a hidden penis best. One that's concealed where the clit ought to be but expands and pops out during rut or when aroused. I like this one best bc I'm not a super big fan of the anatomy set up of having a vulva and dick and balls all at once, and anatomically I never understood like... the concept of the clit swells a lil and thats the knot bc... penetrate how?? I also just don't like pregnant female alphas much! To me alphas impregnate only not carry

🌕 So hidden penis was my favorite option !

🌕 But once I started drawing out the diagram I immediately had problems placing the sheathed penis inside the body

🌕 My biggest issues were the bladder and pubic bone. The bladder I can move around easy enough, especially since female and male anatomy have it in slightly different positions anyway

🌕 But what was fucking me up was that damn bone

🌕 If we want to replace the clit with a penis the penis is going to need to run straight through that bone. The pubic bone in female anatomy sits right above the clit basically. In male anatomy its a tad higher up but even moving it up it would still be in the way of the penis

🌕 I could continue to move the bone or do away with it but then we compromise the human shape of the female alpha. The rest of the dynamics would look human in the hips and pelvis but female alpha she'd be.. little fucked up. Not to mention I'm sure there's some other wild medical consequence of removing or moving the pubic bone that I'm not aware of

🌕 So... we can't put the sheathed penis exactly where the clit is

🌕 I could put it where the vagina is, but then that eliminates the vagina entirely and makes female alphas unable to have penetrative sex and tbh I'm not into that give her a gspot yk?

🌕 I could move the urethra around, like push it forward towards the clit even more and push the vaginal opening backwards, or even combine the vagina and anus like the male omega but I wasn't a fan of that either. It makes her feel to male omega-y and less unique to me

🌕 Furthermore like... vaginas are low. Like lower than u think, clits are a little lower too. And penises are so high! So.. having a penis come out so low between your legs wouldn't that make penetrating kinda hard unless you had a crazy long horse cock or smth.

🌕 So I ended up keeping the penis sheathed like I wanted, but I moved it up

🌕 The penis head is a little above where a clit would sit but I still removed the clit from her anatomy

🌕 To avoid the bone I had to put the penis above it. This isn't super crazy since the vans deferens also comes down over the bone, but it is a little awkward because this isn't a little tube this is a PENIS. This is a whole long cord of tissue and blood vessels here and I'm not giving her a small flat cock to compensate she doesn't deserve that

🌕 So, her muscle, fat, skin, and what have you is gonna have to push out to make room for the penis sitting above the bone.

🌕 Insert female alpha sheath bulge >:))

🌕 tbh I think giving her a bit of a bump is pretty hot so I'm satisfied!

🌕 However bc its sitting right over a bone any pressure applied to it is going to be uncomfortable or even painful for her

🌕 So... ig if you wanna kick a female alpha in the nuts aim for her sheath fr

🌕 So then I was good for awhile, I had placed the penis in the body in a way that satisfied me and kept the vagina intact

🌕 But okay now the penis has to come out

🌕 The female alpha cock still sits lower than the male one, so we have to do a little more bending to get it to flip up in proper penis formation

🌕 No problem, I'll just give the female a longer base after the knot and said base will be way more bendy than a real penis np np

🌕 Okay but... if we have a noodle base how is the erection staying erect and not just becoming a top heavy string of stuck blood that flops tf over

🌕 Insert what I did with the labia

🌕 I want female alphas to enjoy vaginal sex if they want to mostly for kinky reasons yk but its my world so!

🌕 But this means that I don't really wanna touch the labia around the vagina, they should still get looser during arousal they should still be fun to play with yada yada yada

🌕 But the penis needs something to lock it upright. So I split the labia into even more parts.

🌕 On irl afab anatomy theres the inner and outer labia and that's that. On the female alpha tho I had to get creative. I gave her her inner and outer labia that would function normally

🌕 Then I gave her another set around the exit of her sheath. I called them! The penile labia for lack of creativity and anatomical knowledge! Unlike the outer and inner labia around the vagina, these ones stiffen and lock up during arousal after the penis has been unleashed. This keeps it out and helps it stand!

🌕 I also gave her a middle labia. This is an extremely tough piece of muscle that separates her upper and lower sets of lips. The middle labia supports our bendy base even more and tends to get engorged and may even expand a little to support the weight of the cock and knot

🌕 This isn't fool proof by ANY means and I'm sure ppl who know anatomy better than me have a million issues rn but yk what? This makes sense to me and took me awhile to figure it out fr so I'm content

🌕 Now... I gave her a uterus-like structure and still called it "uterus" for lack of better term. this is not a functioning uterus so female alphas cannot conceive

🌕 But in this model I have this uterus act more like a muscle that helps push the penis out of the sheath. Believable? Idk but its chill with me

🌕 The female knot is generally a littler smaller than the male knot because it's gotta fit in the body

🌕 The knot here doesn't even begin to expand until the penis is unsheathed, whereas in males it may puff up slightly on initial arousal

🌕 Since I did not give her balls, her testes are inside the body where the ovaries would typically be

🌕 insert the part where I tell you alpha sperm does not need to be cool. It can survive higher temperatures which also makes sense considering omegas practically have heat strokes during heat, the sperm would need to be a little tougher.

🌕 But then why do males have balls? I got u fam ! Bc while they can survive in warmer temperatures that does not mean they thrive there. The healthiest swimmers are still kept a little cooler. Female alphas may be less fertile even because of this which could be some fun plot points bc i love female alphas pls write them more

🌕 That was so LONG but I think that's it for her

Male Beta

🌙 The male beta doesn't really have anything super atypical from irl amab bodies.

🌙 The penis of a beta tends to be a lil smaller than an alpha's but bigger than an omegas, but again this isn't always the case!

🌙 We do have a prostate for fun anal times if desired

🌙 Beta sperm is not as heat resistant as alpha sperm. They can impregnate other betas just fine but may struggle with an omega in heat. It's suggested that b/o couples try conceiving outside of heat with the help of fertility experts :>

🌙 Male betas cannot conceive, they have no uterus or vagina

🌙 Betas do not knot!

Female Beta

🌙 Again, not a lot of differences to talk about here, typical afab anatomy

🌙 It is worth noting that in my verse I am not giving female betas periods bc thats mean

🌙 For this reason their endometrium is thinner than ours so the body can reabsorb it without a true heat easier

🌙 I'll also say that beta eggs are just built different for this thinner endometrium

🌙 usually you need a certain thickness for the egg to embed properly to the uterine wall, but imma say that for whatever reason beta eggs are totally chill with a thin lining. They have a better grip or smth ig!

🌙 This allows my girls to get pregnant without an extra added issue due to my silly anatomy choices

🌙 It also makes her different from the female omega which I'll talk about later :))

Male Omega

🌑 Okay ya'll get ready for shitshow number two

🌑 actually the male omega wasn't as bad to figure out mostly bc I stole the idea of the epivagina from the author I linked above the cut!!

🌑 I'll sum up if you don't want to read through the link (you should tho it's really interesting stuff you might wanna use in ur own verse!)

🌑 So like the female alpha there are depictions I don't like when it comes to the male omega. I don't like them not having a uterus and just being... a guy? Like having nothing about them that makes them different than a male beta. Also, like how I said I don't like pregnant alphas, I don't like omegas that can impregnate.

🌑 I'm also not a fan of not giving them a penis and having them only have a vagina and uterus. What makes the two omega genders different then? Breasts? Not a fan tbh considering I like my male omegas to breastfeed with their lil pregnancy boobies (cancer in venus I like boobies and lactation not sorry)

🌑 Basically I want my mpreg and I want my penis too

🌑 So, like the female alpha, we have to give them both parts.

🌑 Since there's not a ton of room between the balls and the anus (the taint is only so big yall) I'm not a fan of just giving them a vulva here

🌑 I'm also not a big fan of the birth canal that develops from the taint when pregnant just bc it doesn't make sense to me that the body just forms and unforms a hole that they have to push out a baby the size of a small melon through. Like in that case pregnancy must be excruciatingly painful on top of pregnancy already being painful and hard

🌑 So... butt babies. Except not quite

🌑 The popular option is the cloaca but... I have issues with that too

🌑 If you read the chapter on male omegas on the ao3 link you can see why. A short cloaca definitely results in poop in the vagina. I don't think I need to explain why poop in the vagina is like the worst thing. As the author points out it also makes it difficult for fun oral time just bc the amount of infections you can get from... constant ass licking/fucking especially bc I haven't seen any male omegas telling their alphas omg wait i need to shower, shit, and have an enema first

🌑 The long cloaca can work ig but then the penis never enters the vagina and thats just not fun. The male omega would never be able to have vaginal sex fr :((

🌑 So I'm going with what the author made up! The epivagina!

🌑 The epivagina is a strong valve-like muscle kinda like the middle labia in alpha females.

🌑 During non horny times the epivagina remains positioned in a way that closes off the vaginal opening. No penetration without literal tearing can take place with it closed. The anus is open and free for poop!

🌑 During heat and arousal the epivagina switches the other way opening the vagina and closing the anus so the opposite is true

🌑 You do not have to be in heat for the vagina to open btw! Just turned on

🌑 During birth we can just assume the sphincters and muscles around this anus and vagina were built for stretching, though it might be recommend for male omegas to anal train a bit to get all our muscles ready for it (there are literally butt plugs the size of a child's head so we can train out asses a lil)

🌑 Now the drawback to this would be that... you cannot have anal with a male omega if he's turned on. Tbh that's okay with me since i'm not really into anal anyway! If it's not okay with u then.. idk change it to fit ur kink babe im not stopping u

🌑 It also kinda acts as a rape defense too in a way.... like a duck if we're not turned on good luck entering the vagina. ofc... the exception to this is heat in heat it's p much always open unless we need to shit rn so ig vaginal rape protection in heat isn't a thing but it's neat outside of heat

🌑 Male omegas do produce very small amounts of sperm but they're such sad little boys it's basically impossible to get pregnant from them. Most of them have clear orgasms if they come from their cocks at all.

🌑 I did raise their balls a bit back into the body. We're still descended but not... exactly the whole way if that makes sense. Our sperm just isn't as cool this way and it's not heat resistant fr!

🌑 Bc omegas get so hot during their heats this can also decrease or fully kill off any remaining sperm production.

🌑 Technically this way you can still get pregnant by a male omega if you're a female beta/omega but.... bc its my verse and I don't really want that I'm gonna say it happens like once in a century it is not really a thing

🌑 The penis here is smaller than anyone else's, but not as small as you'd think. I'm not going the whole micropenis route with them you can still be satisfied through penetration with my male omegas!

🌑 Like the author, I also like the concept of giving them a prostate and an internal clit >:))

🌑 no real reason other than 3 ways for my boys to orgasm and I like it

Female Omega

🌑 Pretty similar to the female beta, not too much difference from irl afab anatomy

🌑 The biggest difference between a female beta and female omega are:

🌑 Slick production (beta's do not produce slick)

🌑 The endometrium

🌑 I gave my beta's a thinner one so their bodies can absorb it and we can avoid menstruation!

🌑 Well in female omegas the endometrium is thicker, about the same as the average one irl or maybe even a little thicker than that.

🌑 Her eggs just aren't as good as gripping just like irl fr, so we need a lot of cushion for them

🌑 especially since female omegas tend to release more than one egg a cycle (2-4 is normal) so if we're all embedding we need more room to do it

🌑 A female omega also can reabsorb her endometrium no worries I am not giving her a period either

🌑 Instead I'm going to say that heat has 3 phases. Pre heat where we get ready for ovulation that lasts about 3-4 days, heat heat which lasts about 1-2 days or less. This is when we are fertile we need to get pregnant NOW, and then post heat which lasts about 3 days where our body temperature is still extremely high and we're still horny and feverous but the egg has passed alas. Its during post heat that we reabsorb and break down the endometrium. Sometimes we might see a little blood a lil spotting yk, but for the most part our heat stroke helps us absorb it idc if that's unreasonable its what imma say

🌑 The term heat usually includes heat and post heat but not pre heat (I mean you get off work for heat and post heat and we use the term heat as a collective to include that 5 or so days but this doesn't include the pre heat) but i'll do a different post for heats later !

I think thats everything if you survived all that thank you for indulging me fr! Feel free to pop in my askbox if you wanna talk about smth and like I said in the beginning feel free to steal but pls credit my diagrams if u use them :))

[princeblue]

does fem genya refer to a gender bend, or is it a transgender (or specifically nonbinary, gnc, etc) headcanon? if its the latter then what is the point for specifying "fem genya" when any genya would be a fem genya? I'm asking because I think that if it's the latter case you might get much more out of the headcanon when you don't place the reservation that there must be another type of genya that is a "normal genya" rather than just the possibility that genya as her normal self could simply be a feminine person in identity or in expression. it's also kind of othering, why not just fully assert that you want to see genya as feminine? I think it's a great thing overall

There’s really nothing much to it besides genderbends have always been one of my guilty pleasures? When I say fem genya I’m talking about always a girl genya, but that does not mean I don’t love/support people who draw genya as feminine presenting when i also love genderfluid!genya and just like, queer genya in general, femininity isn’t also linked to just your gender identity, but rather a choice in expression as well. Which is also amazing!!

And I’m not looking to get the “most” out of anything when I’m headcanoning female!genya, all I’m simply doing is having fun on the internet.

If it’s a thing you find great overall? Then hooray! But I also have my own ways of enjoying things and at the end of the day it isn’t that deep.

[whomst-is-hex]

hi im a cis (late teenage) woman who was a transgender man for like 5 years and just recently figured out im not. throughout that whole period there was so so so much fear about how people around me would view me, and it was a very insecure time. BUT, unlike the general expectation of detrans (the asshole idea that transitioning was for trends) i'm really fucking glad i did it.

before i fully started going by he/him and Marcus, i had a couple months where i was just switching from gender to gender, sexuality to sexuality, because i just recently started comprehending queer people and was desperately searching for identity and community. i settled on the name and pronouns one day at a playground, where i told a stranger around my age my name was Marcus and i am transgender. i told my parents shortly after (i told my parents everything in that regard) and right after that i started to strip away anything remotely girlish about myself, which i kinda started doing anyway after i started to call myself a lesbian.

a few years in i started to notice that the "femininity" was around anyway. i admired my silhouette sometimes in the mirror, but quickly switched to trying to flatten my chest. i loved being masculine, i loved passing, but i really also loved my body in all of its generally-percieved-as-woman-ness. this pretty much balanced me out for the last couple years. i stopped trying desperately to pass, and started to accept myself as inherently masculine without binding or vocal exercises (and even in drag, which i still really fucking love doing)

and now we're at a few months ago, where i presented fully female for 30 days as an experiment. obviously my brain had went through SO many chemical changes, and i think just general maturity caused me to click and realize that i don't want this anymore. not to say that young trans people are immature, or that being a man is low, i just started to realize that i messed up and taught myself to fit in another box that i didn't fully want.

right now, i have ditched that box all together. but now i know that it never had to be a box to begin with. i believe that i really was a man for that period of time, even when i admired my curves and face and voice. i was looking for identity, and i found it. but now, i'm sort of a different person with different needs in life and myself. and because i had that experience of rapid change, experimentation, insecurity, and self love, i really really know how to be a woman now. and like the post i reblogged just before writing this says, being a woman doesnt have to mean much in terms of differences. in my case, it means that i am not the basic cisgender bisexual woman cutout i was terrified of becoming when i was younger. and it means im keeping marcus as my name, and my dead-name remains as my middle name.

my point with this was to catalogue my experience, but i think i really need to bring up how actual trans people experiment at all sorts of ages, and it works for them pretty damn well. i have friends who experimented just as much as i did and are way more cemented in their transgender identity than i ever was. i think its also important to say that my experience happens a lot as well. brains change, people change, and i've heard of trauma messing with identities too. point is, we have Got to stop generalizing trans and detrans people, or at least catch ourselves when we do. brains are so goddamned complicated and we dont even know everything about gender. what we do know is it changes sometimes, its unpredictable, and its across all cultures. like my dad says, the minute you figure out something about yourself, itll change. and i believe having a brain that doesnt change is no way to live

TL;DR: i was transgender, now im not, im happy, people are happy being trans or cis sometimes and thats cool as hell. dont be an asshole and stop trying to assume things about people like identity that shit sucks