#its. bad. written in just like two hours so uh. enjoy?

[honeybeebard]

Other Forms of Stimulation (Gale x Reader)

Summary// After a fight in the Shadowlands that very nearly takes your life, you realize just what Gale meant when he mentioned that book about brushes with death.

(I am so down bad for this wizard and I had to write this. It has been a while since I’ve written so I hope you all like it!! I’d love to write more if anyone is interested but for now, enjoy this :)! Also, while this is in second person, the name used for you is Tav!) 

WARNINGS: 18+, smut, talks of almost dying

As your sword cuts across the last of the shadow entities you stumble to the ground, your knees aching as you take in a deep breath. The only sound you can hear is your heartbeat as it thrums in your ears, your mind racing to catch up with what had just happened. 

It had been an ambush that, thanks to the curse, you couldn’t have even perceived coming. You and your friends were already weak after the fight with the cursed drider and his group of cultists so the last thing you were prepared for was something like this on your way back to camp.

However, your group had made you proud as they battled the shadows fiercely. Karlach and her great axe, Gale and his magic, and even Astarion was kicking misty ass with his longbow. It would have been over within minutes if you had been more on guard, if you had realized just how far you had gotten from your friends while fighting. 

A cold chill, like a kiss of death, had raced up your spine as you felt one of the wicked creatures wrap its hand around your ankle, knocking you prone and dragging you into the darkness. The scream you had let out could’ve woken the dead as you dug your nails into the rocky earth, scrambling for anything to hold onto. 

Darkness wrapped around you within seconds, your mind screaming in pain as you felt this dark energy seep into your lungs and heart. It only lasted seconds at most before Gale had saved you, a gigantic fireball lighting up the sky, but to you, it felt like hours. 

The warm hand that had pulled you back to the light was your lifeline, your words dying in your throat as you looked up at Gale who was surveying you for any damages. He had been so focused that he forgot about the fight, forgot about everything that wasn’t you, but you saw one of the wretched creatures coming towards him with its claws raised.

That was when you had leaped forward, using the last of your adrenaline rush to throw Gale back behind you and cleave the beast in two. It had let out an inhumane screech, turning into a vestige before your eyes. 

Now, as reality comes back to you, so does the realization of just how close to death you had been. You turn to examine the damage, seeing your companions in various stages of exhaustion. Astarion was leaning on Karlach who was leaning on her axe, both of them complaining about wanting to go to bed which made you smile. When you turned to look at Gale you saw him watching you with a mixture of awe and concern, strands of hair stuck to his forehead. 

Your eyes locked together, the tension from the past few weeks of adventuring and the fight coming to a head as you saw him move his gaze from your face to the rest of your body.

It could have been an innocent survey to see if you were hurt but when you saw the color of his cheeks and the way he licked his lips you knew it was something much more darker. Lustful, even. “I, um, once read a book that explained in some detail the effect the brush of danger has on one’s desires for uh…other forms of stimulation. Have you ever read anything on that subject?”

Gale’s earlier flirtation came to the forefront of your mind as the world seemed to close in on the two of you. While you were absorbed in your thoughts, Karlach and Astarion seemed to catch on to what was about to happen. Or, Astarion did at least. 

“Come now Karlach, camp’s just up ahead and I don’t want to be here to hear their pathetic humping in the bushes.” The vampire snarked, his smirk growing when you sent him a warning glare. Karlach gave you and the wizard her own knowing smile, wiggling her eyebrows, before dragging Astarion away towards the nearby campfire. 

“I, um, want to thank you for-” Gale began, stepping closer to you only to grunt in surprise when you all but grabbed him by the collar and went to a nearby tree, thankful for the brazier that was lit close by. “What are you doing?!”

“Thanking you for saving my life…and showing you how much I know about that book you mentioned earlier,” You smiled, pressing him up against the bark before pulling back slightly. “That is, if you want me to. I thought you were flirting earlier but if you were just going on another rant I am so sorry-”

He silenced you with a heated kiss, his soft hands coming up to cup your face gently as he spun the two of you around so that now your back was against the tree. “Hush now,” Gale murmured, his eyes dark as he slipped a hand up your blouse. “You’re talking too much.”

“That’s rich coming from you-ah!” You gasped, back arching as deft fingers went under your bra to palm at your nipples. It felt incredible. “Gods, Gale, more please.”

Gale hummed to himself, helping you rid yourself of your top and maneuvering your pants to sit around your ankles. It had been years since he had taken a mortal lover but he had been head over heels for you for a while. He intended to prove himself worthy to you. Worthy of saving you. 

Worthy of you.

You pulled him from his thoughts with another kiss, this one rougher than the last. The adrenaline seemed to be wearing off but somehow the desire was only increasing. He groaned low in his throat when your tongue brushed against his, tasting the uniqueness of you before he pried himself away. A whine grew in your chest but it was cut off when you saw him sink to his knees, his large hands resting on either of your thighs.

“Gale, I…” You trailed off as you watched him through your lashes. “What are you doing?” His gaze was intense as he tugged your pants the rest of the way down along with your underwear, settling himself between your legs as his lips turned up in a wicked smirk. 

“Thanking you for saving my life.” He echoed your earlier statement, his brown eyes twinkling with amusement before he trailed a single finger down your sex. You let out a huff of air when he brushed your clit, blushing as he felt just how slick you were as he whispered, “By the weave, Tav, you’re dripping.”

A whine builds in your throat once more as he continues his ministrations. He gently dips two fingers into your aching cunt, his own groan covering another one of your cries from just how tightly you grip his fingers. You can’t stop from bucking your hips forward towards him, silently begging him for more stimulation.

“Such impatience.” He chides playfully though you can see how ragged his breathing has gotten. 

“Perhaps you should hurry up then, wizard.” You say through clenched teeth, your eyes fluttering close as he bristles at your challenge and suddenly buries himself between your legs, licking a long stripe up your pussy. It was divine. “Fuck, yes!”

Gale’s tongue sets a pace that immediately has your thighs shaking, your hands flying into his chestnut hair as he shows you just how talented his tongue can be outside of spellcasting. You had lovers in the past who would taste you, some hesitant and some enthusiastic, but none of them even came close to the man beneath you. 

His nose bumps against your clit with each fervent lick, savoring the taste like he was a man starving. You raise one of your hands over your head, the other still fists in Gale’s hair, and start to roll your hips in time with his tongue. He moans into your cunt, his fingers digging into your thighs until you are they are going to leave bruises. 

“Please, Gale, gods it feels so good,” You whimper, voice an octave higher as he finally seals his lips around your clit and sucks. “Ah!”

“That’s it, love, take what you need.” He growls, worshipping your pretty pussy as one of his hands rustles under his clothes to rub against his aching cock. It was already hard and leaking, a stain on the front of his pants that he was sure he would be embarrassed about later. 

Your ears perk up at the schlik sound, your head dropping to watch as he fisted himself while eating you out. His eyes found yours, watching you in adoration, which made your hips increase in desperation. At some point you had hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, grinding deeper into his face to the point you were afraid you would smother him. 

Not that you think he would mind that.

A fire starts to brew in your stomach as he holds your gaze, his own hips rutting up in a desperate attempt to find release. You can feel yourself on the edge as he starts flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue, the sounds positively sinful. And just as you find yourself tipping over into the pleasurable abyss of Gale’s tongue, your defenses come down and your tadpole greedily reaches out to his.

He flinches at first, his pace stuttering as he sees himself through your eyes. The desperate look in his eyes, the way the entire bottom half of his face is covered in your arousal as he fucks himself needily into his hand. Gale could practically feel your pleasure through the link and it spurs on his own orgasm.

You feel your voice grow hoarse from your screams of pleasure, not caring that the camp could hear as Gale continued to take everything you gave him. For a moment you swore you could see the orb in his chest pulse with untamed magic, could feel an electric current pulse through your veins right before he pulled away with a gasp of air.

Gale smiles up at you as you sag into the tree. He takes in your disheveled appearance, from your hair to your slick-covered thighs, and ingrains the vision into his memory. You have never looked more beautiful. 

“I should,” You begin, chuckling when it takes you a moment to catch your breath. “I should save your life more often if that is my reward.”

“You don’t have to do anything quite so grave for us to do this again, Tav.” He murmurs, watching as you sink to your knees to join him on the ground. “I would gladly spend eternity between your thighs if you asked me. It is better than any heaven promised to me by the gods.”

Your lips turn up in a wicked smirk as you take his cum covered hand and bring it to your mouth, sucking the digits clean as you make sure to keep eye contact. Gale tenses, his mouth parting as you bat your eyelashes innocently. 

“I might take you up on that offer but first…” You trail off, pulling him closer so that your lips brush his cheek. “We have to face Astarion’s teasing.”

A loud laugh escapes his chest as he shakes his head at your teasing, cupping your face and kissing you tenderly. The taste of your and his cum mingles pleasantly on his tongue and he has to stop himself from deepening the kiss. 

“A small price to pay.” He smiles, standing up and holding his hand out for you. “Come, let’s show him exactly what a pleased woman looks like.”

[kyeomyun]

2:01 AM

pairings: dad!jeonghan x gn!reader

genre: FLUFFY FLUFF FLUFF :((

warnings: none... you might lowkey go through baby fever :)

word count: 0.8k

synopsis: jeonghan would do literally anything to stop his baby from crying, even if it included being dolled up.

::note: WELL- yes ik now those jewels on jeonghan hair are indeed stickers and not hairclips but YK WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS. also hello strangers :). it's been a fat minute since I have actually written something down so if this seems a little dry... just know I haven't written anything since august 🧍🏾‍♀️but i do hope you enjoy this absolute brain rot I wrote last night at 2 in the morning 😍

network(s): @kflixnet

If there was one thing Jeonghan absolutely despised, with his whole entire being, it would be seeing someone who he holds, oh so dearly to his heart, cry.

He knows crying is a trigger for intense emotion, don't get him wrong, he knows very well it was common with toddlers. Including his. But that does not eliminate the huge tear he feels in his chest when the salty crystalline drops roll down his wife or his daughter's cheeks.

And he would do about everything (except cook the pot roast dinner that you LOVE that takes almost 5 hours to make and Jeonghan could not, for the life of him, stand on his two increasingly aging feet for more than 2), to make his loved ones stop crying. Even if that included doing something he thought he would not fit..

"Almost done, darling?" Jeonghan asked softly, careful not to make the tire of his voice get the best of his tone.

It was 2 AM, and his daughter, Yoon, had a rude awakening with cold sweat and vivid memories of a nightmare that she did not want have the guts to relive with her father. Which the father could understand, reliving a nightmare is not fun at all and he did not want to force that scenario onto his precious girl.

"Nu-uh," She clipped another hair clip onto Jeonghan long hair, humming in approval watching her masterpiece come to life in front of her eyes. "You said I can put a lot, daddy!" She pouted, hands flowing through the overload of bows: baby pinks, baby blues, even ones with sparkles and stars dazzled upon the long strands of freshly washed hair. Messy? Yes. Did Jeonghan care? Just a little tiny bit. "I have to make you really, really, really, pretty!"

"I did say that, did I?" Jeonghan said that more to himself, his words playing back on him tremendously. His eyes were drooping, fighting back the wondrous dreamland he was in before he was awoken by a frightened 4 year old. As much as his body wanted to shut down, his mind was stuck on one thing and one thing only.

Well maybe 2.

How long will it take to take these hairclips out and how is his miniature him doing?

"Mhm!" She clipped glittery pink hairclip on a randomly selected portion of her father's hair. "But at least daddy will look extra, extra pretty!"

Jeonghan butt was staring to numb, sitting on the carpeted floor of his daughter's room criss-crossed and Yoon standing up behind him with the next 2 hairclips awaiting their home on his head. But his heart filled rapidly, an intense feeling he has always had at moments like these. Ever since Yoon was born, this feeling was almost... unexplainable. Too immense to be just happiness and too extreme to be just love. It could be a mix of both but those 2 words are just not enough. No words could ever be.

Oh, he is down bad...

The smile that stretched upon his poorly chapped lips was one worth describing though; a smile that held so much value, love, adoration, did he think love?

"One more, daddy!" Yoon announced enthusiastically, a pretty baby blue butterfly, clipped on a strand near the front of Jeonghan head. A small giggle was heard as the little girl admired her work, grabbing ahold of the mirror and giving it to her pretty caregiver. "Is it pretty?"

Jeonghan took the mirror, its weight light but enough to slightly tilt his hand a bit. This motion was able to show the awaiting face of his daughter, who too stared into the mirror and tried to read her father's face. But he obviously had his answer.

But he still pretended to contemplate, his pointer finger tapping his chin in wonder. "It's not pretty,"

That cute pout adorned her lips again, her fragile heart clenching painfully. "You... don't like it? I thought–"

"It's beautiful, baby," Jeonghan looked behind him, and nothing, absolutely nothing, could match the cuteness of seeing his other half, his small angel, puffy cheeks bunch with joy. A smile that could kill many, Jeonghan being one of millions. Billions.

"Yay!" The excitement was barely contained in her small body, slightly bouncing in her place she stood in for almost 30 minutes before her stubby arms wrapped around the neck of her father. "Do you think uncles will be jealous?"

"Very," Jeonghan stared back in the mirror, his smiling bundle of joy warming his heart to the greatest. "Very, very jealous."

A kiss was planted on his cheek, and now he was conflicted about what his members will actually be jealous about.

His marvelous creation on his head, hairclips and bows that were placed in no particular pattern, or the creator, that shined her crooked teeth and eyes shining just as bright as she went back to slightly messing with the butterfly hairclip that hung just barely in his peripheral.

Ok, definitely the creator.

did you enjoy your order?

if you did, please reblog, like, (pls) comment, all of that jazz :>

have a good day, sweets ^^

tagging: @wheeboo @etherealyoungk @rubywonu @trblsvt @icyminghao @idubiluv @odxrilove @stormyjisung @slytherinshua @fairyhaos @gyu-effect @hannieheartuu @jaehunnyy @luvhyun3 @lvlystars @mesanthropi

[flipphone01st]

PLEASE write the mafia 141 idea you posted🥺I'm in love with the idea so much already!!!

Mafia 141/Bartender reader- Part one

Johnny🧼

Mostly Johnny/reader in this fic, because ive decided to split this up into different parts that will focus on different characters Like part 2 could focus of Gaz/reader.

Warning: not proof read, bad joke, swearing, alcohol and smoking, Johnny is a lil shit, and pushy, poorly written accents, (if I forgot anything that could have a warning let me know )

this is literally my first time actually writing a full fic so it's probably mediocre, FEEDBACK AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS GREATLY APPRECIATED. Other then that I hope you enjoy :)

Stupid uncle, stupid debt, stupid bar. You hated this, but you suppose its your own fault. If only you had just closed the door when your uncle showed up at your door begging for help because he had gained massive debt to one of the most infamous crime bosses in the city... Johnathan Price...if only you had just said no and didn't drive your ass down to Price's club and demand to speak with him, didn't try and bargain for your uncle...maybe then you wouldn't be forced to work for the bastard...

Two hours...thats how much longer you'd have to spend standing behind this bar. You swear to god, if other drunk yells at you you'll shove a jigger down their throat, and your 'coworkers', if you could even call them that, weren't making your life easier. If anything they were hellbent on making it worse. "Yer lookin' a bit peely wally." Johnny chuckles while cleaning a margarita glass, it was just him today, said Kyle was off doing something for Price, you didn't want to ask what.

You glance up at him, eyes narrowing in confusion and slight annoyance "..huh?"

"Means you look like shite." He clarifies.

You sigh and stand up, nudging an empty box away with your foot "thanks... asshole." You grumble. He chuckles and raises his hands in mock surrender, "Awe come on, I'm just funnin' with ya. You look fine, a wee bit red in the face, but that's it." He grins, you didn't hate him, he could actually be quite hilarious sometimes... sometimes...You roll your eyes. He laughs and takes out a cigarette, lighting it up. "Ya want one?" He offers.

"no...I thought price didn't like us smoking around the drinks.."

"Aye, he doesn't." He shrugs, taking a drag of his cigarette. "but what ol Pricey doesn't know won't kill em."

"mm.." your nose scrunches in disgust at the smell. you take a small step away, not wanting the smoke to settle on your clothes. He blows smoke out the side of his mouth, away from you "yer no fun ya know that?" You scoff, "pft..I can be fun.", while crossing your arms, and leaning back against the bar with your lips shaped into a slightly grumpy pout. "Oh?" He chuckles again, leaning back against the bar himself "can ya? Let's see, tell me a joke."

you think long and hard "uuuuuuuuuuuh..ok I got one. What do you call a fake noodle?" Johnny squints his eyes "...what?"

"....an impasta..."

"..."

"..." You're both silent, completely silent.... just staring at each other...

"..." Johnny sighs "that joke was dogshite."

Your shoulders slump forward in defeat "I know." He chuckles, "Well at least yer aware." before taking another drag of his cigarette. before looking at you with the most smug grin you've ever seen "but that also just proved my point...yer no fun, pipsqueak."

"Pipsqueak?" You raise an eyebrow as your eyes narrow

"Yeah, you heard me. Yer a wee'un." He teased, god you wanted to whip that stupid grin off his equally stupid face. "you're not even that much taller than me."

"I'm seven inches taller than you." He points out.

"...nuh uh.."

"Fuck ya mean, nuh uh?" His eyebrows furrowed as he tries not to laugh, on the other hand, your brows furrow in annoyance. "I mean, nuh uh."

Johnny chuckles, and places his hand on top of your head. He then leans down, the tip of his nose almost brushing yours "dena it alllll ya want..." His eyes were locked with yours, the faint smell of cigarette smoke almost making you recoil in disgust. he leans even closer, you try and lean back but you're stopped by the bar. "...yer still a pipsqueak!" then ruffles your hair aggressively.

You slap his hand away, glaring at him while fixing your hair. "Jerk! Don't do that again." you grumble, and to make matters even worse, you feel your cheeks heat up a bit. "Awe, someone's all hot and flustered now." He smirks, giving you a small jab with his elbow "c'mon now, I was just joking around, relax."

You groan softly and roll your eyes, pushing him away and walking to the other side of the bar, trying to find anything that you could use to ignore him. Johnny grins, quickly putting out his cigarette and following after you "see! that's exactly what I'm talking about. Such a grump...don't tell me yer so boring that ya don't even like a bit of harmless flirting?"

"go away, Johnny." You don't look up from the drink you were pouring for a costumer "Aww, c'mon. I'm just tryna lift yer spirits." He wraps his arm around your shoulder "you like me don't ya?" He grins, not expecting a positive answer.

Your eyes widen and you move out from under his arm "no." Was your immediate response, your voice stern. Johnny grins wider and moves to stand right in front of you, leaning right up and practically invading your personal space. "Don't lie to me now. I bet ya daydream about me, don't ya? About all of us? Me and the lads, hm?"

Your face goes red "what?" He grins, almost deviously "you think I haven't noticed the way ya seem to float off into lala land while staring at me or Kyle work? When Simon's gotta rough up some jackass? Or even when price is literally just in the room with ya? Don't try to dena it, pipsqueak...just can't keep us all out of yer fantasies eh?" His hands slide their way onto your hips, he didn't seem to care about the bar patrons laughing and ooing, some even getting annoyed that the two bartenders were flirting with each other instead of enabling their alcohol addiction.

Your brain felt like it was short circuiting, it had become uncomfortably warm. If you were a truther..you'd admit that despite hating these four men...they were kinda hot. But you're a god damn liar and you'll be one till the day you die! "i-i!..no..no way!.. you're crazy! There's no way in hell id ever like any of you like...that.."

"Mm...sure... I'm definitely crazy." He leans even closer, his voice a whisper as he presses his body into you, the two of you basically chest to chest "...crazy about you." He leans down to try and steal a kiss, you're eyes widen comically large but thankfully before you could even react the gruff voice of Simon makes Johnny freeze just before his lips could graze yours "That's enough, you two 'er supposed to be workin, not swapping spit." He glares at Johnny, you didn't notice it but there was a slight hint of jealousy in his dark eyes... you didn't notice, but Johnny sure as hell did.

Johnny quickly backs up from you, and then looks at Simon with a smug grin on his face "Jeez... Yer no fun either, Si. We were just messin' around." Simon stares him down, not breaking eye contact with Johnny for a good two minutes, until finally letting out a deep sigh "just keep it outside of work..." then glances at you, "Price said you're free to go for today.."

You nod "uh..thank you." You awkwardly stutter, still trying to process what just happened and understand how it made you feel... were you embarrassed? Very. Were you necessarily uncomfortable?... strangely enough...no, you weren't uncomfortable. Simon nods then walks off into his little office behind the bar, Johnny watches him go, then his gaze wanders back over to you "Sooo, ya gonna head off then?"

"yeah.." you answer, somewhat shyly. Johnny nods, a quick look of disappointment on his face before he masks it with a smile "alright, then...have a good night, pipsqueak." He shrugs playfully, and begins walking off to serve a poor bastard that had been trying to order a drink for the past five minutes. ".. you too, Johnny.." you mutter while walking out from behind the bar to towards the break room to get your stuff and finally leave....what a weird ass day...

END OF PART ONE. Please let me know what you thought

[stomach-bugg09]

heya, lovely! can you do a big sis y/n sully and fali after the battle at the three brothers when all the kids (the sullys + tsireya, ao'nung) are huddled together during a bad storm and the parents cannot return from the hunt till it passes so tuk starts crying since they've been gone for half a week. y/n and fali being the eldest comfort their siblings/pseudo siblings. maybe even show a bit of tsireya and ao'nung's dynamic with fali?

summary: a rumor of treasure sends the sully kids + co. out into a storm they weren’t quite aware of.

a/n: okay so , i kind of took some creative liberties with this. hopefully you don’t mind !! but , that being said , the first half is like really well written and i’m super proud and then the second half . . . let’s just say i wasn’t prepared to write so much. i think it’s still good , of course , but i’m also desperate to get requests and works out. it’s still a very fun read , though , so i hope you enjoy. feedbacks + reblogs are always appreciated !!

tags: @rafeslovergirl @wxnderingthoughts @liyahsocorro @bonnibuckets @hjkshshjkhklhkl @itssiaaax @grierpilots @fleurbeass @23victoria @nyotamalfoy @gcldtom

warnings: sibling vibes, getting lost, a dangerous storm, a very bad ending (whoopsies), me slowly giving up writing well nearing the end

words: 3.6k

stuck

[y/n] had to admit, this was probably the stupidest idea she’d ever taken part in. unfortunately, the repercussions for such an act made the idiocy of it all even more obvious.

it’d been a perfectly fine day. wonderful, actually! [y/n] was busy with fali, the two of them bonding over some unbearable chores ( a punishment after they’d been caught past curfew ) as the beautiful weather kept them warm, even if the sun was leaving her skin sizzling.

to make it even better, when fali noticed the way she tensed under the beaming sun, he immediately grabbed ronal’s lotion and lathered some on her back. at that, [y/n] fought the urge to absolutely melt beneath his touch.

but, of course, as it always went, it had to be their younger siblings that ruined everything.

after the new layer of sun protectant had been applied, the two continued to unload the traps, hissing everytime a crab grabbed ahold of their sensitive fingers.

“bitch,” fali cursed loudly, flinging the crustacean back into the water to keep its pinchers from drawing any blood.

as [y/n] guffawed at the action, she immediately tensed feeling the change in atmosphere. from behind her, the ominous shadow of her brother sent her repeating the words, “uh oh,” in her head.

[y/n] turned slowly, eyes wide as she looked up from where she crouched on the dock. “can i help you?”

of course, the answer was always “yes.”

and so, that’s how [y/n] and fali found themselves aboard ilus that shot through the water. the sunlight burst through the surface, each wave distorting the reflection in the slightest. the magic of the sea always sent [y/n] into a phase of absolute awe.

apparently, tsireya and lo’ak had found some weird treasure-like thing out in the distance, just past the three brothers, and upon telling the rest of their siblings ( plus rotxo, although he was an honorary sibling at that point ), they all wanted to see. all they needed was a responsible young adult to chaperone them!

at first, [y/n] wanted to say no. they were already in enough trouble from the night before, and she definitely did not need neytiri and jake any farther up her ass. but, of course, fali had a way with words ( more like giving her the cutest eyes ever that instantly made her fold ) and off they went.

fali was a seeker of adventure. that in itself was more than clear. so, it was natural for him to bite when he heard of the journey that awaited him and the kids. plus, treasure? that sounded pretty sick, even if it ended up being something completely worthless.

despite the fact that he’d already been reprimanded just hours before, fali decided to take into account that his parents could only kill him once. a little more rules broken didn’t mean anything! that’d just be a problem for his future self.

fali felt a smile form on his face at the feeling of [y/n]’s arms wrapping around his waist from where she sat behind him. his own hand traveled back, resting softly against her thigh as they sped through the waters atop their shared ilu.

lo’ak and tsireya led the way through the reef, an event that caused [y/n] major second-hand embarrassment for everytime that lo’ak tried to impress the girl who rode beside him.

behind [y/n] and fali, ao’nung and rotxo caused quite the ruckus. it was often that fali found himself turning around to gesture for them to stop after they would push each other into some boulders that sat on the sea floor.

following dumb and dumber, kiri and tuk sailed gracefully. they watched the scenary pass by in peace, their gazes always stuck staring in awe thanks to the nature that paved the way.

neteyam, of course, brought up the caboose. he kept his eyes open for anyone straggling, often having his ilu bump into ao’nung or rotxo to keep them moving. they were lucky they even got along nowadays, otherwise the interaction would not be treated so dully.

but, alas, there was no more bad blood between any of them. not after a month ago, not after fali risked his life for neteyam. not after the sets of siblings joined forces for the first time to save payakan, a beautiful beast that kept the rest of the sully family from dying mid-battle.

it was a miracle that they all still lived after that traumatic night. even though it still haunted all of them day and night through physical scars and mental memories. it would never be forgotten, and maybe it was a blessing. or, it was a curse.

either way, they were alive and, for the most part, happy. that part was clear based on the way each of them smiled as they ventured through the reef, each of their eyes flickering towards the new scenery they had never seen before.

it was only when tsireya and lo’ak slowed down in front of them that they all regained full attention, suddenly remembering why they were even out there in the first place.

[y/n] tensed in the slightest, eyes narrowing as she scanned their surroundings. she took in every minute detail, a habit picked up by her upbringing as the eldest sibling. [y/n] knew that neteyam was doing just the same from the back.

“this way,” tsireya signed, an action that was then passed down along the line so that everyone was caught up.

[y/n]’s hands gripped fali’s biceps as the ilu made its way forward, the pace slow and steady. it was only when they entered the cave of complete black that she began to truly panic.

fali’s own worry was only triggered by the girl that clung to him, his thumb rolling softly overtop her skin to provide comfort. when they entered the dark cave, their bioluminescent freckles were the only sources of light beneath the dark surface.

[y/n] whipped her head around quickly, checking that everyone was there. after a quick head count, she felt a tad better, although she still used her hands to usher and corral them into a tightly packed herd.

“leave the ilus,” tsireya ordered quickly, eyes widening in concern when she noticed how tightly packed the cave was. “it is deeper within, and we can only fit one by one.”

“sounds joyous,” [y/n] responded just before she allowed fali to help her off.

once everyone was free from the confines of their ilus, they began to progress within the shelter. the farther they went, the tighter it seemed to get, an unfortunate reality due to the shoving that went on between the boys. [y/n] even had to give fali a look when he began to push around ao’nung and rotxo. he immediately stopped, of course, because he knew better to listen to her than get in trouble.

“just ahead,” tsireya offered quickly, eyes flaring at the way each other their movements got slower due to the lack of oxygen. “there’s an air pocket.”

“and treasure,” lo’ak added very quickly, an action that had tsireya slapping him on the back of his head.

he bristled, grumpily rubbing the location in which she hit him. his grumbling did not stop, not until they finally each swam through the small tunnel and resurfaced in the even smaller cave that, thankfully, had oxygen.

“oh, thank eywa,” [y/n] gasped once she found her way up, flopping down against the gravel. “i thought you guys were trying to kill us for a moment there.”

“ha ha,” lo’ak said with a roll of his eyes. “you are just so funny, [y/n].”

at that, the older sister was quickly on her feet and preparing to tackle him to the ground when neteyam gave them each an unimpressed stare.

deciding to stay cool and mature, [y/n] chose to instead stick her tongue out. of course, as a result, lo’ak hissed back.

“shut up,” ao’nung groaned from where he leaned against the walls of the cave. kiri nodded in agreement, eyes widened to only emphasize her point.

after a few moments of silence, tuk cleared her throat. “so, are we gonna just wait here or…?”

“right,” lo’ak trailed, not missing the chance to roll his eyes. “if i hadn’t been distracted—” he stared at [y/n]— “i would’ve showed you that—”

tsireya groaned, shoving him softly. “it’s down this way.” her nimble hand gestured down what seemed to be a gruesomely long and dark tunnel. at the sight, the entire group went silent.

rotxo was the first one to break the silence. “yeah, i’m good.”

“are you trying to kill us?”

“i have claustrophobia.”

lo’ak groaned, dropping his head back in annoyance. “come on, guys. there’s literal treasure back there.” [y/n] watched warily as he stepped toward the tunnel, his tanhì reflecting colorful light against the black walls.

“and what if there isn’t?” fali prompted, eyebrow muscles raised with his arms crossed across his chest.

tsireya blinked, jaw dropping as she tried to answer. instead, lo’ak stepped forward and assumed the task for her ( an action that had all the girls in the room unimpressed ).

“we saw it.” he sounded very sure of himself, but that confidence soon crumpled to nothing once the rest of the group just stared, then blinked, and then burst into laughter. “wha—guys!” he protested with a groan.

“sorry, bro,” neteyam attempted, dropping a hand on his shoulder to which lo’ak quickly shoved off as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “but, we will never trust your judgement of sight alone.”

“yeah!” tuk cried. “remember when you said that you saw that thanator creeping into camp.”

“oh, yes,” kiri agreed with a devious grin. “and after causing quite the scene, it was just tsukin dressed in his hunting gear.”

[y/n] bit her lip, trying to keep a smile off of her face. normally, she would be all for the teasing, but based on the expression that lo’ak wore, she was all too familiar with the jokes hitting a certain point. so, she kept her cool.

stepping forward, one hand raised, she offered in a cool tone, “okay, so, let us ponder.” silence settled in the cave, eight pairs of eyes resting on her frame. “if there is treasure, what would we do with it?”

tsireya stepped forward, a hand pressing to lo’ak’s chest before he could ruin their campaign once again. “well, from what lo’ak and i saw just the other day, it isn’t simply… treasure.” [y/n] narrowed her eyes, not quite understanding what she was getting at. “i mean to say, it is like a, uh, how did you describe it?” she turned to lo’ak.

“it is a statue, i suppose,” lo’ak answered with a shrug.

“yes, statue.” tsireya bit her bottom lip, the corners of her mouth up turning into a small grin. “so it is not as if it has any value since we are fully unable to haul it out of here, but it is beautiful and worth the look.” she blinked before smirking. “if you are brave enough, that is.”

oh, how tsireya knew exactly how to tempt that crowd. so, it was absolutely no surprise at all that [y/n] then found herself clinging onto fali’s shoulders as they swam through the dark, twisting, thin tunnel.

the textured ledges that jutted out caused many sputters and groans of pain down the line and back. at one point, [y/n] found her hair tangled on an edge and she was yoinked backwards, a burst of bubbles leaving her mouth as she let out a sound of pain and annoyance mixed into one.

luckily, the tunnel was no nearly as long as they thought, and soon enough, they were pouring into yet another cave. this time, however, each of them froze in their tracks as they stared in adoration at the gorgeous artwork that sat in front of them.

bioluminescent plants climbed up and down the walls, spilling onto the ground and growing up the figure that sat in the middle of the room. the statue, worn down by time, was a little dull on the edges, and it was a beautiful white marble. streaks of gray and black wrapped around its curves, adding a mark of nature on the na’vi made form.

thanks to the familiar shape of long pointed ears and a tail that wrapped around its waist, the figure was very clearly based on one of their ancestors.

[y/n] furrowed her eyebrows, swimming around it to catch every angle. her supple fingers gently trailed overtop what used to be a face, the only thing left after years of underwater living being small dimples of where the eyes and mouth used to reside. she softly petted the nose of the figure, a smile drawing on her face.

and that’s when it finally settled within her bones that something was wrong.

chills pricked on [y/n]’s arms as she looked around the dark cave, eyes flickering over the kids who were each grouped up and conversing with each other. kiri was busy admiring the work with tuk at her tail, lo’ak and tsireya were most likely flirting, and ao’nung, rotxo, and neteyam were arguing about something. panic settled in [y/n]’s gut when she noticed the words “storm” and “rising water” being exchanged between the trio of boys.

she swam up quickly, fali at her heels, and she stopped at the top of the cave. [y/n] pressed her hands desperately against the rocks, feeling for anywhere the water might escape, feeling for anywhere she could try and take a peek at the outside world. she cursed at herself when she found no luck.

by then, eyes were cast upon the older girl, worry settling on each and every one of their expressions. a hand on her shoulder caused her to whip around, sending fali floating back in alarm.

“what is wrong?” he questioned carefully, eyes filled with concern.

“i do not know,” [y/n] admitted truthfully. “but something feels… off.”

that’s when ao’nung decided to finally step up. “the water is warmer,” he offered. “it feels as if the tide is moving north, and that usually means—”

“a storm,” tsireya finished for him, worry evident on her face.

[y/n] turned to fali with a tight swallow. his face was frozen, clearly trying to figure out a plan. he was always good at on the spot thinking, but something about his closest friends and family members being the ones in danger sent him spiraling in the wrong direction.

“we must leave now,” ao’nung took charge quickly, spinning around and ushering tuk and kiri towards the place in which they entered from.

[y/n] felt as if time seemed to travel far too fast. before she knew it, she and fali were bringing up the back of the line to make sure everyone swam out quickly, not leaving any stragglers behind. tsireya and rotxo led the way, tuk padded by kiri and neteyam for safety.

the reality of the situation truly sat in when the air bubble in which they’d previously conversed in turned out to be half way full. they all silently decided that stopping wasn’t worth it, and instead gulped one last big breath of oxygen before exiting the cave once again.

by the time they resurfaced outside of all of the caves, finally back in the open sea, [y/n] felt her stomach rise to her throat at the sight of the storm. wind blew far too aggressively, and the tides were coming in strong. screams left their throats as they narrowly avoided a wave that almost crashed directly on their heads.

quick thinking resulted in their ilus left behind — although, there was also a possibility that the creatures already left them at the feeling of the storm coming in — and the group of kids climbing onto the boulders.

the cave they had previously swam in also had another layer on top, this time with oxygen and safe shelter provided. at least, enough to keep them from ( hopefully ) dying in the storm.

they now huddled, backs pressed against the rock walls as wind burst outside, an occasional very large wave absolutely drenching the boulder and sending screams echoing across the shelter.

[y/n] and fali sat closest to the entrance, but in their arms they held practically every single kid. faces pressed into their chests, the two young adults sharing looks of concern, worry, and pure prayers to eywa.

[y/n] clenched her eyes shut at the feeling of tuk trembling beneath her hands, sprinkles of sea spray causing her to feel sticky and wet. when fali pressed his head against her’s, she whimpered softly. she would remain strong for as long as the children needed it, but deep down, she was terrified.

they sat, huddled together, throughout the entire storm. from beginning to end. beneath every harsh wave, between every strike of lightning. instead of letting their fear best them, they only decided to just hold each tighter and tighter.

by the time the storm finally settled down, they were each soaked with cold water, the wind whistling through holes in the cave. each kid was shaking, although some held it together better than others.

[y/n]’s heart ached as she held tuk to her chest, quiet sobs wracking her small body. [y/n] rubbed her back with a soft touch, pressing an occasional kiss to the top of the young girl’s head. “it is okay, tuk tuk,” she whispered, eyes flickering up to watch fali and the rest of the boys wander back and forth across the cave, voices hushed and serious as they discussed how to approach their problem.

“i want mom and dad,” tuk cried into her shoulder, face leaned into the crook of her older sister’s neck.

[y/n] frowned. “i know, darling, and we will see them as soon as we can. but, we need to figure out how to get home first.” she pulled tuk away from her body for a moment, forcing her to lock eyes. “i promise you, mom and dad are okay, and they will be looking for us as soon as it is safe.”

meanwhile, tsireya and kiri were busy under the water, looking for any source of help. food, a safer shelter, maybe their ilus… but, no such luck.

as the girls busied themselves with a search, the boys wandered from one side of the cave to other, jumping into the water as they tried to track down exactly where they were. curses were exchanged as lo’ak and neteyam’s necklace intercoms didn’t seem to work thanks to the wreckage left by the storm.

the first sign of hope came from kiri and tsireya when the two girls resurfaced, smiles highlighting their features as they sputtered for breath after a long swim. “guys!”

at that, everyone gathered around, even [y/n] and tuk after the older girl quickly cradled her baby sister and brought her over to the group. “what is it?”

“i think we found a better place to sit and wait.”

luckily for them, the beach they found was unoccupied and quite helpful. the storm sure left a mark, but that also meant firewood that was much more easily accessible. 

it didn’t take long for the group to set up an actual camp. sticks and leaves, gathered by the younger girls, helped create small tent-like structures. [y/n], rotxo, and lo’ak dealt with fishing and food, and neteyam, ao’nung, and fali were busy dragging large pieces of driftwood to support their shelters as well as make an actual bonfire.

“ao’nung, would you please be cooperative for once?” fali grunted, the trio dropping the piece of wood for the eighth time in just a few feet.

ao’nung shot him a look. “i’m trying my hardest, but you keep stepping on my toes.”

“i am not!” the older boy argued, eyes narrowed. neteyam rolled his eyes at the sibling-like banter.

“lo’ak, do you lack braincells?” another argument took place just a few paces away.

“[y/n], do not act as if you are so much better than me!” the younger brother threw a piece of mulch at her, an action that she did not respond kindly to.

it was only when rotxo shouted in delight at the feeling of a fish tugging at his line that they suddenly forgot all of their previous issues.

across the beach, tuk was squat carefully as she organized sticks and leaves into two different piles, even going as far as to stack the leaves from largest to smallest. “woah!” she cried at one point, staring at a very large leaf with a gaped jaw. “it’s as tall as me.”

tsireya laughed, picking the greenery up and holding it next to the girl. “i think you have a few inches on it.”

hours passed by, but progress was made. so much progress that they each had their own tent by the end of the night.

of course, they still chose to stay up quite late, gathered around the warm fire as they exchanged different stories. a lot of personal sibling attacks were made, of course, especially towards lo’ak who seemed to be a permanent indigo shade after his older siblings told tsireya of every single one of his embarrassing childhood tales.

the later it got, the more they yawned, and soon it was spreading like a disease. [y/n] smiled at the sleeping figure of tuk.

but, of course, the light in the distance kept any more of them from drifting off.

"looks like it's time to go home."

“looks like it’s time to go home.”

[kylorengarbagedump]

Playing Soldier: Chapter 10

Read on AO3. Part 9 here.

Summary: You're starting to think you're never getting back home.

Words: 6800

Warnings: Serious attempts at historical war nerdery

Characters: William Tavington x Reader

A/N: Co-written with @bastillia

Hi, quick note here - we are not following the timeline of the film, since it's completely fucky and doesn't really adhere to any of the major battles closely enough for our nerd-brains to enjoy. As such, please note that the Battle of Camden occurred on August 16th, 1780, not whatever time the movie made up in 1778.

HELLO, WELCOME BACK. Sorry for the delay! We've had an insanely busy two weeks with family visiting, work being insane, and just generally having way-too-much-shit going on. However, we plan to have a new chapter out next week (though the one after that might be... uh, LONG), so please keep in mind we're doing our best to keep to a schedule of every 1-2 weeks!

(I used to write shit that was like, 2k words per chapter. What happened to that??? lmao how did I even do that. I don't even know)

THANK YOU EVERYONE for your very kind words and thoughts for last chapter. We were SO excited to write it and honestly I have been thinking about it non-stop? Idk I just want his cock so bad.

ANYWAY CHAT SOON <3

William.

William.

He’d asked you to call him William.

It had been about forty-two hours (not that you were counting) since your thoroughly unwise, thoroughly unfinished tryst with the colonel of the Green Dragoons. You had spent that time trying to purge yourself of his scent, his touch, his taste. So far, your greatest measure of success had been in slapping your hand whenever it crawled to relieve the pressure between your legs.

You cupped your hands in the creek, splashed your face cold.

Your thoughts needed to be clearer than the damn creek. To even offer this desire a place in your mind would encourage it. And the memory of his name in your ear continued to invite it to stay.

Another palms-worth of water, another splash.

Even more infuriatingly, it had managed to wriggle its way into your thoughts. Most of the time, he passed through your mind as Tavington, or Colonel, or both of them together. But there were moments. Weak, inane moments, wherein the only representation of him bore the name William.

William, as if he were a man who had introduced himself with a bow, a man who might call on your father and ask permission to write, a man who’d done anything other than everything he had done.

William, a name so representative of nothing William Tavington was to you.

And yet, in the dark of night, your fingers itching to chase away lust, that name drifted like foam on the sea of your thoughts; a word whispered in your voice; a soft, reluctant plea; a fantasy of a fantasy—that not only was he your relief, but a man who deserved his name at all.

You groaned, thrust your face in the creek and screamed into the rocks. A voice called your name from beyond the surface, and you jerked back to sit on your heels. Panting, water dripping down your face, you turned to see Lottie.

“Is everything all right?” She studied your expression. “This is, what, the third time you’ve dunked your face in there today?”

You exhaled, waving her off dismissively. “Oh, yes, I’m fine,” you replied, wiping the remaining drops from your face. “Warm day, isn’t it?”

She nodded, gazing back toward camp, squinting in the sun. “I suppose we’d best try to enjoy it before autumn comes.” Her attention turned back to you. “Did you want to play cards before dinner? Best out of seven?”

“Seven?” You grinned, pushing yourself to your feet. “Omitting last night, are you? Fairly certain I recall a winning streak.”

“I don’t know at all what you mean,” she replied with a smile. “Come! I���ve grown weary of stitching circles and gossip.”

You looked to the sky. The sun was cresting away from high noon. Daylight was in waning supply, and this was the first time since the storm that Tavington had left camp—your first chance to venture off without fearing him heeling at your shadow. There was no telling when he'd return, but you'd already spent at least thirty minutes of that time trying to wash him from your thoughts. You needed to get going.

“I thought I’d eat a bit later, actually.” You offered an apologetic smile. “I wanted to forage for some supplies before the day is out.”

“Later?” Lottie tried and failed to conceal a grimace. “With, er, everyone else?”

“Yes.” You raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Oh, well I…” She looked at her shoes, rolling back and forth on the balls of her feet. “It just may be uncomfortable. With Alice.” When you replied with only a confused blink, she continued, “She’s still, ah, a bit upset.”

“Still?” You scowled, folding your arms. “Why?”

A sigh escaped her as she searched the ground. “I don't suppose it's that strange,” she said, and then lowered her voice. “Her miscarriage was only a month ago.”

“So?” Snorting, you rolled your eyes. “I said I was sorry. To her face, even.”

Lottie nodded sympathetically. “You did,” she said. “But—”

“But nothing,” you said. “I apologized. It’s done with. She needs to gather her skirts and start anew.”

“Perhaps…” Lottie pursed her lips, regarding you as she considered her words. “Though I'm sure she feels differently.”

“Perhaps she shouldn't have started it, then.” You shrugged. “I certainly don't start arguments that I don't plan on winning.”

“As I've come to learn.” Lottie smiled wryly. “Give her time. Alice clings to her grudges even tighter than she does to her Bible, I think.”

You nodded. “Precisely,” you said, comforted in your knowledge that Alice was the problem and definitely not you, or anything you’d done. “She won’t disturb me. I’ll scrounge some food and find you afterwards.”

“Lovely,” Lottie replied. “Don’t stay out too late. Benedict said we’ll be moving to Camden soon, and you know how the colonel is about giving notice for such things.”

“Camden?” You frowned. “Did he say why?”

Lottie shrugged. “Apparently we are to meet the general and his men there.” She wrung her hands. “Do you suppose it’s to do with those rebels who attacked us?”

“Most likely.” You sighed, forcing down a disquieted squirm. “Though if they know what’s good for them, they’ll have long since turned tail by now.”

If only you didn’t suspect that to be a false hope.

“Might they still be in the area, though?” A little line of concern folded along Lottie’s brow, and she glanced out toward the woods. “Planning an… an ambush, or something?”

“I doubt it,” you said. “Those men got a whipping they shan’t soon forget.”

Lottie let out a relieved half-laugh. “They did, didn’t they?” Skipping forward, she took your hands in hers. “Still. Do promise to be careful.”

“Of course.” You offered a small smile. “I’ll not allow Alice the satisfaction of my abduction.”

She grinned and pinched your arm. “Don’t say such things!”

“You’re right,” you said through a giggle, flinching from her. “Far more likely I’ll be tarred and feathered.”

“Oh, you!” Lottie swatted at you as you retreated, lip pinched between your teeth.

“Strung up as a warning,” you said, pantomiming your own hanging as you flounced away.

“Cards. Tonight.” Lottie shot you a final, quelling look as she began to turn back. “This time you’re done for!”

“You’re on,” you said, and watched as she departed toward camp.

Smile withering on your lips, you breathed deeply, turned your head north. Continentals were not only patrolling the road that direction, you knew militia were stationed toward that way as well. If the Wilksburg company had joined up with them, then that would be the best opportunity you had to find someone—anyone—who knew anything about your father.

In an ideal world, of course, he would be there when you arrived. But you knew better than to practice idealism.

After casting around to ensure that you weren’t being watched, you started down the road. Keeping to the sides, in the grass, was the best strategy for now. It gave you plausible deniability if someone from Tavington’s legion did happen across you.

You hadn’t considered, yet, what you’d even do if and when you found the Continentals. You just knew you needed to do something, anything to peel the guilt from behind your eyes. Kissing Tavington had been an incredible mistake that would require incredible redress. Providing the Continentals with whatever knowledge you possessed was your first attempt to achieve that.

The sun dripped down the sky as you walked, a bead of honey making its way to the horizon. Its heat had gathered sweat at your temples by the time you reached the bridge crossing. With a strange pang of disappointment, you found it deserted, the ground scarred by boot and hoof. The Continentals must have made good on their plans to fall back, spooked by the numbers they encountered at Tavington’s camp.

Huffing a sigh, you hiked your skirts and started over the bridge, reveling for a moment in the rush of cool air above the river.

There was always the possibility that you wouldn’t find the Continentals at all. That they had retreated all the way back to North Carolina, and you were following their long-cold trail. That no trace of them would be found by the time evening fell and forced you to circle back.

Or perhaps you wouldn’t circle back. It would be so simple. All you would have to do is continue walking. Forever. You would never have to see or touch or taste or dwell upon thoughts of William Tavington ever again.

And without you, your home would be burned.

And without you, Grace would be killed.

And you would never know if your father would live to learn of any of it.

Anger lashed you, quickened your steps. It settled into its chosen home of late: a dull, scraping throb in the back of your skull.

No, such whispers of despair would not seduce you. You would keep its lips just as far from your ear as you would keep Colonel Tavington’s lips from your own.

Continentals had to be here. You would find them. And this cacophonous discord in your mind would finally cease, so long as you could affix your sights upon—

“Madam? Madam, can I help you?”

To the west, a nearly-familiar voice. You turned to meet a mounted horse trotting over the hill. As the rider drew closer, you recognized his face.

“Wilson?” you said. “Is that you?”

Wilson gaped, kicking the horse to a canter until he reached you. Your heart was torn between relief and elation, tempered by confusion, since the last time you’d seen Wilson he was waiting out a hanging in Dorchester. Given his appearance now—closer to a bedraggled, bearded orphan than a soldier—you would’ve thought he’d just escaped.

“By God, it’s you,” he said, examining you. He glanced around. “What are you doing out here?”

You grimaced. Perhaps Wilson was trustworthy. But this wasn’t something you wanted to bet your safety on. You needed someone of higher rank.

“There’s a lot I need to explain,” you said. “How did you manage to get out of Dorchester? Do you know anything about my father?”

“Your…” Wilson frowned for a moment before realization dawned across his face.. “Of course. Your father broke us out of that lobster pit. He’s back at camp.”

“What?” It was definitely elation, now. You sidled up to the horse, grabbing at the cantle. “I must see him.”

“Indeed you must.” Wilson held out a hand and vacated his stirrup, letting you clamber onto the back of his mount. “We’re only a couple miles over the valley.” He urged his horse into a trot and laughed. “Oh, he’s going to be thrilled to see you, kid.”

Your chest tightened with excitement. “I know,” you replied, smiling.

You explained on the short ride to camp that you’d been paroled, but omitted anything about working for the British in the encampment down the way. And obviously omitted anything having to do with any superior officers or your attraction to them and how that potentially endangered everyone in your life.

Guilt trailed the horse’s stride. You’d be rid of it soon. Your father—your father—was at the camp. Safe. Alive. You brought your focus to that and that alone. It didn’t matter, the weeks of struggle, the fear and torment over your family’s well-being, the weight of it on your shoulders. It would all be worth it to hear your father’s voice.

A white mass of canvas bloomed into your field of vision, split into distinguished tents as you rode nearer. When you were close enough to shout at them, you could restrain yourself no longer. Squealing, you hopped off the horse, stumbling to the grass and nearly grinding your face into the dirt. You didn’t care. You scrambled to your feet and ran, ran toward the camp, waving your arms above your head, calling a single word out to the air.

“Papa!” you cried. “Papa!”

A dozen heads poked out of or around the side of the tents, squinting in the direction of the wild running woman. Realizing you weren’t their daughter, they dismissed you, nudging their comrades to look in your direction. It wasn’t until a head crowned in a tricorn hat emerged from the crowd that you met recognition in someone’s eyes.

First it was disbelief. Then a yielding, laughing shake of his head. Then he stepped, ambled, bounded toward you, his arms outspread in joy. To see his face was to see a mirror etched with age. He called out your name.

“My girl!” your father hollered. “It’s my girl!”

In long, loping seconds, you crashed together, your arms curling around him, his own embrace crushing your shoulders and head against his chest. You laughed, burying your face in his shoulder, every single shred of shame, panic, and fear withering to the ground. He was warm. He smelled like home.

Papa. Papa was here.

“Papa,” you mumbled. “I’m so glad you’re faring well.”

Papa squeezed you again before holding you at arm’s length, and looking you over. “No worse for wear, yourself.” He met your eyes. “Now what in God’s holy blessed green-and-blue earth are you doing here, cub?” His attention fell to Wilson, riding up behind you. “Where did you find this rascal?”

“She was looking for us, Captain,” Wilson replied with a sheepish shrug.

You fought off a grin, tilting your chin to the sky. “I found him,” you said, fixing your hands on your hips. “And we have much to discuss, Papa.”

“Oh-ho.” A laugh broke out of him, and he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into another hug. “Of course you did. Of course we do.” He rubbed your back before guiding you around to face the camp. “But first—let me introduce you to everyone!” Papa led you forward, hand raised triumphantly in the air. “My girl is here!”

As you entered the Continental campground, men parted for you, greeted you, tipped their hats in your direction. Miss, missus, good day, pleased to meet you, pleasant to make your acquaintance; all floated in your ears, the words melting together in unfamiliar groups of sound. Never had you been treated with such deference. And never had men seemed so interested in earning your favor.

Even back in Catawba, where Papa was well-known and well-regarded, the local boys had grown up with you. Knew you too well to try speaking to you any more often than courtesy demanded To the Continental men, you were a potentially pretty stranger exposed only through anecdotes shared by a respected, impressive man.

Unfortunately for them (and, given your recent inclinations, perhaps you as well) not one of them impressed you. Though they were, potentially, not at fault for that.

Men shambled through the camp without shoes, without trousers. Handfuls waddled in mud only draped by blankets. Those who sought you to introduce themselves appeared to have gone without shaving—or washing, given the crescents of dirt under their nails—for days. Wilson had not been unique in his swamp-mongrel regalia, you realized.

The condition of the Continental encampment was abominable.

You looked to your father. Glee beamed from him like sunlight. If he was concerned about the deplorable circumstances of his soldiers, it didn’t show. He directed you toward a fire, where several men were seated in a circle, all of them outfitted in some sort of blue coat. They each eyed you as you approached, their gazes flitting between you and your father in confusion.

“Gentlemen,” he said, gesturing toward you, “this is my daughter.”

You gave them your name, bowing your head toward them. One of the men shot to his feet, his eyes wide and locked onto you. The rest of the men followed, standing and nodding toward you as they introduced themselves with names you didn't remember. The first man to stand tipped his cap in your direction.

“Miss.” He was dressed in an outfit that resembled your father’s and stood tall, with tawny hair and high cheekbones. “Captain Pearce. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Your heart stalled. Pearce. That name pierced your memory in a clap of thunder, a flash of lightning. Your eyes widened, and you offered him a tight smile in the most normal manner you could possibly muster.

It had been dark. Storming. He hadn’t been the one speaking to you, and no hint of recognition stirred within his gaze. When you met his eyes, he grinned and returned to a seat around the fire. Your chest fell in relief.

You planned to tell your father what you’d been doing, but involving anyone else seemed foolhardy. If Tavington learned from some desperate Patriot soldier that you’d been dipping between camps with the desire to undermine him, you didn’t think you’d be able to get to Grace before he strung you up on the nearest tree.

Besides, the thought of even considering, let alone explaining, what sort of game you’d been playing with him made your stomach sink. Now that you knew your father was alive and occupied by the war, you could even dare to hope you might never play that game again.

The thought sparkled like a distant star. You imagined bidding your father farewell, escaping back to Catawba, whisking Grace away to Pennsylvania and never seeing William—Colonel—Tavington again.

Why, oh why did some awful, craven piece of you wilt at the very thought of it?

“Cub?” Papa said. “Everything all right?”

You blinked alive. You’d been staring into the fire. “Oh!” you said, laughing. “Yes, yes, Papa, sorry.”

“Go ahead and have a seat, my girl.” He sat on one of the benches by the fire and patted the spot next to him. “You said we have much to discuss.”

Nodding, you took the seat. Your hands folded into the fabric of your dress, your palms sweat onto your knees. You weren’t sure why you were nervous.

“I have information. About the British Army.” There was something important Lottie had mentioned earlier, too. “And about Camden.”

One of the named-but-forgotten men sat forward. “You know about the attempt—”

“Hold on.” Pearce extended his arm as if to quiet him. “Hold on, now.” He met your eyes before setting his jaw, sitting up taller. “By what means did you attain this information?”

You stiffened, looked toward Papa. “I’d rather reveal that to only my father, thank you.”

“Is there a reason you refuse?” Pearce sat forward, gesturing to his uniform. “I’m a captain, just like your father.”

“That’s evident,” you replied, “but my father you are not.”

Pearce glanced at Papa before continuing. “Well, yes, miss. I understand. But I can assure you that I, too, can be provided with sensitive information. My accomplishments in the war—”

You frowned. “I care little for your achievements, Captain Pearce,” you said. “Your behavior is what engenders my trust, and I have seen nothing of that thus far.”

Papa held up a calming hand. “Pearce, it’s all right. She’s a skeptical type. As well she should be.” He grinned at you. “We can talk in a moment.”

“Thank you, Papa.” You folded your arms over your chest.

Pearce huffed, but relinquished, easing back and glancing around. “Very well, then,” he said. “Should we gather the militia?”

“No need,” Papa said. “I’ll inform Colonel Martin later. He and his boy went out scouting a couple of hours ago.” He nodded toward you. “Go on.”

You took a breath, glanced around the circle of men, then at the fire. Your chest tightened. You swallowed the feeling.

“First,” you began, “how long since your forces returned to South Carolina?”

Papa pursed his lips, glanced at Pearce. “Six days, I believe,” he said. Pearce nodded in agreement.

“And how far out have you managed to scout in that time?”

Pearce straightened, shifted where he sat. “Well…”

“Not as far as we’d have liked, cub,” Papa said, raising a hand to the back of his neck. “Our General, you see—”

“Our resources are occupied elsewhere at this time,” said Pearce, a hint of what almost resembled distrust flickering over his face as he regarded you.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes.

“Yes,” Papa said, and you caught a mote of frustration in his tone. “I suppose that’s one way to put it.”

“Show me the most current map you have,” you said. “Much has changed, even since you were last here, Papa.”

Papa nodded, then gestured to a man seated across from him, who sprang to his feet and made for one of the surrounding tents.

“Changed, how?” Papa asked, turning back to you.

“Well,” you sighed. “The British have not rested a day since taking Charleston. They fan the flames of Loyalism across the colony as we speak. By force, or by…” You swallowed. “Enticement.”

Papa frowned. “This land has more backbone than that, surely.”

“Evidently not,” you returned, perhaps too sharply. “More towns pledge fealty to the crown by the day. Lord Cornwallis has dispatched entire legions of men to sweep the countryside and ensure it.”

“Perhaps they lie,” offered Pearce. “Swear whatever oath they must to be left in peace, while their allegiances truly lie elsewhere.”

“Precisely,” said Papa, holding a hand out as if to showcase Pearce. “The soul of liberty is not so easily snuffed.”

You met Pearce’s eyes. His shoulders rolled back. Words of doubt on your lips were distracted by the soldier returning with the requested map. He held it out to your father.

Papa frowned. “I wasn’t the one who asked for it, Private.”

The private’s back hunched in submission and he handed it over to you. As you spread it on your lap, he retreated to his seat around the fire, and you shot him a glare for good measure.

“So.” Your finger swirled over a swath of land in the backcountry. “All of these towns have sworn loyalty to the Crown over the past months.”

Scrutinizing the map, you hummed, leaned forward, and plucked an old charred stick from the edge of the fire pit.

“And there’s a road you’ve not accounted for. Here.” You scratched a charcoal line into the map. “It’s part of what they’re calling the King’s Highway. Supplies move from Charleston to be disseminated to outposts across the backcountry. These seem to be their primary fortifications, as far as I know.” With each new trail, you drew a new, black line. “Fort Ninety-Six, to the west. Stono Ferry, in the south. And Fort Carolina, here in the north.”

“New points of attack,” Papa said, staring into the map. “They’ll be vulnerable along those routes.” He gazed at you, face splitting with a smile before he slapped your back so hard he earned a small oof. “That’s my girl!” He looked to Pearce. “I told you that she was quite a woman, didn’t I?” Before you could begin to question that that meant, he continued, “Do you have anything else, cub?”

“What about the movements of their officers?” Pearce asked.

Your mouth parted as your pulse skipped. “I’m not quite sure what you mean, Captain.”

Pearce sighed. “We believe colonel of the Green Dragoons—William Tavington, if you know him—”

If only he knew how well.

“—was spotted here not more than a couple of days ago after our patrols encountered a redcoat encampment. We nearly captured him.”

Papa nodded. “Too bad, too,” he said. “Would’ve been excellent information for Gates.”

“General Gates continues to resist suggestions for the procurement of further intelligence,” Pearce said, partly to you, partly to your father.

“Well.” Papa scoffed. “Gates is a damn fool.”

Pearce gave a commiserating look before turning back to you. “We have reason to believe Tavington’s legion is in the area.” Grey eyes scrutinized you, flicked over your face and hands before meeting your gaze again. “Do you know anything about that?”

Had it been Papa asking, your answer would have been instant. But this was something you didn’t want to confirm for a stranger who could sell you out with the right amount of pressure. And you couldn’t discern Pearce’s intention, couldn’t figure if he already knew the answer to the question he was asking. He was studying you in a way that made your skin want to flutter off in flakes.

“No.” You spun to face your father. “I have something I want to discuss with you.” You glanced at Pearce. “Privately.”

Pearce frowned, looking between you and Papa like he was lost. Papa scanned your expression, chewed his lip before acknowledging Pearce, nodding at him and the other men around the fire to dismiss them. Exhaling, Pearce’s shoulders sank. He stole a final glimpse of you before tipping his hat again and following the rest of the soldiers to the tents.

Before he could speak, you lowered your voice. “Papa, how are you men surviving?” you said. “The state of this camp is horrific.”

Papa grinned, shaking his head. “Don’t be preposterous! No, it isn’t.”

“It’s atrocious.”

“What do you mean?” Papa craned his head, surveying the grid of tents. “Can you not see the fervor here? The thirst for revolution?” Like a poor boy on the eve of Christmas, the reality of his circumstances were obscured by delirious thrill. “These men are Patriots! They believe in something.”

From your perspective, it was difficult to identify what they believed in other than not being fully dressed. Perhaps the British encampment wasn’t possessed by passion, but they at least had the provisions to make it through a single battle. You weren’t sure how the Continentals had gotten this far.

“I’m just a bit concerned with the state of your men right now, is all.”

“Don’t be,” he said. “The colonel of our militia is a legend from the French and Indian war. If I could only tell you of his feats at Fort Wilderness.” He looked at you with utter conviction. “A word from that man could stir even the most phlegmatic hearts to fervor.”

You nodded. “All right then. Perhaps I need time to see it.” Giving him a sly grin, you added, “As of now, I see no such stirring man.”

“Not one?”

“Not one.”

“Ah…” Papa rubbed his knees, shooting you a rueful grin. “So, Captain Pearce didn’t impress you?”

Your brow furrowed. “No, he didn’t,” you replied. “Speak your meaning plainly, Papa. From where did this question arrive?”

He leaned back, sucking in air through his teeth. “Oh, I don’t know, cub,” he said. “He’s been a great help to me, and he’s around your age. He’s intelligent. Ambitious. I know you’re not easily impressed, so I thought maybe…” He waved you off. “Forget it, forget it.”

“Wait.” Your jaw dropped. “Were you trying to…” A laugh of disbelief escaped you. That’s why Pearce had been acting so strangely in front of you. “You were trying to arrange something with him?”

Papa threw up his hands defensively. “No!” he insisted. “No, no, no. Nothing like that. I just thought perhaps if you met him…”

“What, he’d—he’d… wing me away in a fit of infatuation?”

“Not a fit—no!” He clapped to silence further discussion. “Anyway. Just. Forget all of that.”

You grumbled, but nodded along anyway. Papa had never cared if you were married and had never tried to foist a man into your arms regardless. The romance of war had swept him in flight. He’d simply hoped to pass it on to you, as he’d done with all of his other idealistic aspirations.

The relics of your rage from a couple of nights prior resurrected themselves. If it hadn’t been for these very idealistic, romantic aspirations over something incredibly dangerous, you wouldn’t even be sitting in this camp. The three of you could have fled the encroaching war together, could have done something sensible for once.

Instead, just one of you was left with obligation.

Just one of you was left to put out the candles, to sweep the porch, to lock the doors, to tuck the sheets under the mattresses.

What had Tavington said, that first night you’d met him?

Is your father so thoughtless, leaving his daughters vulnerable while he dies in war?

You ground your teeth together. He wasn’t right. He couldn’t be. He wasn’t allowed to be.

“There’s something else I need to tell you,” you said, shaking off all thoughts of the colonel and how right or wrong or whatever he was. You dropped your volume to a whisper. “I’ve been traveling with the British army since mid-June. Grace and I were taken—”

Papa’s eyes widened. “You—cub, you’ve been what?”

“That’s where I came from!” You inched closer to him. “Tavington’s legion is just south of the river. That’s where I’ve been. Papa…” You glanced around. “Do your men mean to advance on Camden?”

His face fell. He drew in a long inhale, gazing into the fire. “Dammit. So they know, do they?”

“You must withdraw,” you said. “Cornwallis is on his way north to defend it. Whatever you’ve got planned, it won’t be enough.”

Papa nodded, silent, chewing on his cheek in thought. “Thank you,” he said, finally. “Though I’m not sure what good it will do with this fool Gates commanding us. I doubt he’ll hear a word of it.”

“Then you must make him hear. Relief though it brings me to have informed you of it.” You could let the load of this war die in its own wake. After seeing the state of the Continental camp, you were more determined than ever to get home and get Grace out of South Carolina. “More relief still to know you’re alive. I’ve spent all of these weeks thinking you might have been dead. Or hurt, or… I don’t know. Worse.”

“And that’s what had you out here staying in… did you say Tavington's legion?”

“I did.”

He hummed, giving another knowing shake of his head. “Tavington isn't known for being obtuse. Or charitable.” He laughed. “You might have gotten yourself killed.”

Or worse—deflowered. “I can handle myself,” you said. “Besides—”

“I know you can,” Papa said. “Just don’t give them too much hell when you get back there.”

Your fingers wound around each other. There, as in return to the British encampment. Not head home. You swallowed, panic creeping up your neck and bringing a wave of sweat with it. You’d thought it would be clear for you to abandon this entire charade and put the devilish whims of war—and Tavington—behind you.

Had you been neglecting some duty when considering your plan? Was there some important piece of information you’d omitted?

“But…” The word sounded wrong on your tongue. “How will I… what will I be doing?”

“What you’ve already been doing,” he said. “We need Tavington crippled. He’s been slaughtering us.”

“But how will I get you information?”

He shrugged. “Write letters to Grace, if you’d like. She can keep them for me. But I’m not worried about the information. I trust you to do what’s right.”

It wanted to leave again. “But I…”

You would never do that. There was no way you’d even accidentally implicate her anything. The fact that he’d even suggested it irritated you.

“Of course.” And then, with far more acidity than you realized you’d been holding, “Grace is well, by the way, since you asked.”

Papa frowned, face drawn with concern. “Well, I’m glad to hear it,” he said, “I’m glad she is. But I never doubted she would be with you there.” He paused, considering you. “Everything all right, cub?” He nudged you playfully. “Aren’t you inspired?”

Shame consumed you. Your stomach fell to your feet. You hadn’t been careful. You’d been selfish. That was the problem.

You held importance to people like your father, who was clearly awe-struck by the vigor of rebellion. You served a crucial point in preventing him from coming to harm. At least with the information you’d given him today, he might stand a chance in escaping certain death from a confrontation at Camden.

This was your father. Of course he trusted you, of course he assumed the best in you. How was it possible you considered doing anything but what he hoped for?

You’d been so stupid.

Nodding, you looked at Papa. Forced a smile just like you had when he told you he was heading off to join the Wilksburg company.

“Yes, Papa,” you replied. “I’m going to do my best for you. I promise.”

Papa smiled and pulled you into a strong, close hug. You closed your eyes, a knot bubbling in your throat and escaping as a pained laugh. You pressed your face into the crook of his neck.

“I lost your boots,” you whimpered.

His body shook with a chuckle. “My boots?”

You nodded. “Redcoats took them.” Your voice strained the words. “I’m sorry.”

“Damn the boots,” Papa said, holding you closer. “Damn the redcoats, too. It’s hardly the most consequential thing they’d take from us, given the chance.”

Warmth spread through you. Your father was right.

Tavington hadn’t been, wasn’t, and would never be right.

You allowed yourself to feel safety in your father’s arms for a few more moments. The sun was painting purple streaks through the sky, and you needed to return to camp with at least a few plants in your pocket. But for just a few seconds, none of that mattered.

After you bid Papa farewell with another long embrace, you waved at the Continental officers and their poorly-clothed subordinates. Wilson offered a ride at least to the bridge, but you declined it. You were not going to put yourself or anyone else at greater risk than you were already in.

The walk back to camp was long, but helped to soothe your racing mind. And at least it gave you the opportunity to collect whatever vegetation you could find. You managed to snatch a handful of a few different prophylactics for swelling along the way—the sumac and plantain would be best for that—and added in some dogwood to help reduce fever.

By the time you returned to camp, the sun had tucked itself into the trees, the eastern skyline bleeding black into the dying day. You neared the perimeter, and a couple of soldiers seated by a tent spotted you. Their eyes widened. One stood and slipped into camp.

Your mouth dried. Instead of waiting to find out what that was about, you scurried to the hospital tent, hoping to make yourself appear very busy instead of very delinquent. It was empty when you entered. You couldn’t decide if that was a relief or a disappointment.

Holding your breath, you hovered over one of the work tables and grabbed your mortar and pestle along with a few bottles. There had to be something you could start on that would allow you to perform innocence. If William—Colonel, dammit—

The flap to the hospital tent parted. Colonel Tavington stalked through.

You turned to see his brow relax when he saw you, only for his jaw to shift and tighten when his eyes met yours. His lip twitched.

You looked at your hands. “Good evening, Col—”

“Where were you?” He stepped toward you, hands behind his back.

“Sir?” You gave him a placating smile, gesturing to your bottles. “I was out gathering supplies.”

Tavington raised a brow. “Is that so?” Nodding toward the table, he said, “Show me, then.”

“What I gathered?”

“Unless you believe there’s something else I’d rather see as proof of your reason for absence.”

You pulled your lips in over your teeth and retrieved the vegetation from your pockets, spreading them all on the table. They sprinkled across the surface like a handful of hay on a pig’s belly. The amount now seemed pitiably inadequate for the time you’d been gone. Heat flushed your neck.

He stepped closer to you, looming over your shoulder. A slow breath left him as he examined them.

“This,” he said, pitch lower and quieter than you anticipated, “is all you managed to find?”

Ignoring the twist in your lower abdomen, you shrugged. “This was all that was worthwhile. And they’re all that I needed.”

He reached around you, lifting one of the crimson sumac clusters from the table and spinning it in his fingers. “Tell me about this, then.”

“That’s staghorn sumac.” You forced a small grin. The breadth of his chest, the rumble of his voice there almost unsteadied you. Almost. “Helpful for inflammation.”

“Sumac,” he said, twirling it again. “I remember you asking me if I could identify it.”

Your heart thumped against your chest. “I did.”

“Does it always look like this?” He slid his thumb up the tender stem, flicked it across the base of the fruits. “This color.”

“It does.” Your chin quivered, your insides writhing in a knot. The very fact he’d even asked made you want to hop on the table and wrap your legs around his waist. “You'll…” You exhaled a steadying breath. “You'll know it, now.”

“I should hope I never need to.” You didn’t reply. Only watched as he laid the sumac on the table and cradled one of the white flowers in his palm. “What does this do?”

“Dogwood,” you murmured. The heat from his body was not distracting. You were not thinking about how his palms would feel on your hips, your breasts. “For. Ah. For fever.”

“I see.” He brought the flower—and his arm—closer to your waist. “Have you noticed any…” he said, the next word hanging on his tongue, “neglected instances of feverish behavior recently?”

“No.” You swallowed. “Just preparation.”

“Ah.” Returning the dogwood, he picked up a plantain leaf, humming thoughtfully. “And this?”

“It’s good for insect bites,” you murmured. The memory of his lips, the moan he’d made into your mouth stole the stability from your knees, and you braced yourself on the table. “I know the men have been complaining of mosquitoes recently.”

“How thoughtful.” He stepped closer, hips grazing yours. “And unlike you.”

“Perhaps so,” you said quickly, stupidly. You needed him out of your space. “But I’ve found them bothersome as well.”

His tone grew cold. “I believe that’s the first honest sentence out of your mouth all evening.”

You straightened, moving to the side. “I really must ask—”

Tavington gripped the table, barring your escape with his arm. Spinning to face him, you found his chest an inch from yours, his gaze boring into you. Every good intention you had to tell him to leave chilled to ice.

“Where were you?” His tongue rolled in his mouth. “This,” he said, crushing a handful of the flowers in his palm, “did not take you hours.”

“We’ve been camped here for weeks. I’ve picked these woods bare,” you replied. “I had to go far out into the field.”

His eyes narrowed. “To find scraps?”

The wicked edge in his tone cut a shiver up your spine. You could almost taste his lips again, could feel the yearning to dissolve against him. Clearing your throat of need, you lifted your chin to the air.

“I’m being honest,” you lied.

“Honest, are you?” That smirk that you found so irritating, so devastatingly irresistible, quirked on the mouth you did not want to kiss. “Then tell me this, my little soldier.” Tavington’s hand drew close to your hip, found the edges of your skirts, tugged at them by only an inch. You flinched. “Do I detect the vestiges…” He leaned close to whisper with soft, trembling rage. “... Of desire?”

Your nails dug into the table. Finding his eyes, you did the only thing you could think to do.

“Lottie!” you shouted. “Lottie, come quick! I want to show you something!”

Tavington’s brows rose, and his jaw stiffened.

“I knew you to be a liar,” he muttered. “But I did not take you for a coward.”

With a short exhale through his nose, he withdrew from you. Seconds later, Charlotte Goddard charged into the tent.

“I’m here! I’m here!” She was heaving. “What, what is it? When did you get back?” Spotting Tavington, she stood tall. “Oh, Colonel! Excuse me, sir.” She bowed her head. “Good evening.”

Colonel—yes, Colonel, thank you very much—Tavington’s attention flipped between the two of you. He marched out of the tent without a word. Lottie looked to the table, then at you.

“About as good as that’s going to get,” she said, walking over toward you. “What is it you wanted to show me?”

A long, heavy breath slid from your nose. An ache lingered between your legs. There were so many things you could have shown her, could have told her. All of them had to remain secret to your grave. So instead, you scooped up the sumac, dangling the clusters from your hands.

“Look,” you said, half-grinning. “It matches your hair.”

[atmosghoul]

Thinking about insomniatic Aether but it’s because his quintessence abilities means he can pick up other ghouls and siblings emotions and we’ll this happened at 1am enjoy.

Aether spends an hour and a half tossing and turning before he realises the restlessness keeping him awake is not coming from him or his pack but from a sibling of sin all the way across the abbey.

He reluctantly gets up and goes to track down the source. He follows the trail. It feels like a thread barely there but pulling him strongly.

He comes to a door and realises he doesn’t know who this door belongs to. He makes it a point to try and learn most of the siblings names and where they sleep in case of nights like this but he finds himself blank.

He sighs and glamours himself before he knocks gently, realising this might be a new initiate. He hears a gasp followed by muffle scuffling before the door is cracked open just a sliver.

A meek face peaks through and Aether can smell their fear spike. He offers a gentle smile and a soft wave of his hand.

“Uh hi,” he says barely above a whisper. “Sorry to bother you I just thought you might could use some help,” he gives a pause allowing them to reply but continues when they stay silent, still only able to see a portion of their face through the sliver of the door.

“I’m Aether. I’m one of Papa’s ghouls,”

More silence, but the door opens just a sliver more and they readjust their position so their full face is peeking through. Large green eyes slightly sunken due to exhaustion and possibly crying, shaggy brown hair in messy waves that fall in their eyes. Aether can see the tension already start to relax but there’s still fear there.

“Did they tell you about us ghouls?”

They take a moment but nod. Aether smiles wider and waits for any word from them but gets nothing but a face of fear attempting to be hidden.

“Can I come in? I usually offer the new siblings a bit of a welcome wagon but I wasn’t aware we had one. When did you arrive?”

They open the door wider and leave it open as they turn and walk towards their desk to grab something but don’t answer.

Aether notices the room seems more lived in than a new sibling’s should. Furniture moved out of its default arrangement, wall decor clearly having been there a while.

The sibling turns around holding a notepad with two words written on it.

Not new

Aether stares in confusion at the paper being held in front of him, wondering why they weren’t speaking “Oh I’m sorry I’ve never seen you around before. How long have you-“

He stops as the sibling turns around placing the notepad on the desk and writing something else before gently pushing it towards Aether again.

Face me when you talk

Suddenly it clicks and Aether feels like an idiot. He remembers hearing about a new initiate but never got the chance to meet them and in the fuss of going on tour he’d forgotten to introduce himself when they got back. A week ago.

He turns to the sibling and tries to recall the handful of lessons he’d taken years ago. Bored on the road during his first tour discovering humans had created a whole way of communicating with their hands.

His sign language skills are admittedly pedestrian but he gives his best effort.

I. Sorry. Not. Realise. My name A-E-T-H-E-R. Want. Help. You. Bad sleep.

The sibling smiles at the effort. They sign back a bit fast for Aether’s comprehension especially so sleep deprived as he is but he picks up the important bits.

They introduced themself as Rian and Aether has to ask them to spell it again because he thought they’d spelled Rain.

After a few times of Aether struggling Rian explains that they can read lips well enough and promises to sign slower so Aether can keep up.

Aether explains about his quintessence magic and what brought him to their room so late and Rian apologises before explaining that they’d been having trouble adjusting to life in the abbey. Being the only deaf sibling was difficult. The rest of the clergy were nice enough but trying to make friends was difficult and it had been weighing on them.

They chat through most of the night and Rian agrees to help Aether with his signing before they say their goodnights.

As Aether is headed towards the door he turns back to Rian and taps their shoulder.

You want help sleep? He signs.

Rian looks at him puzzled. Aether laughs and explains, speaking this time, that he can use his quintessence to help ease them to sleep before he leaves.

Rian agrees and Aether goes about explaining how it works before instructing Rian to lie in bed and get comfy.

Neither of them realised how often an occurrence nights like this would be.

[petrichoraline]

EIGHT SHOWS TO GET TO KNOW ME

tagged by @littleragondin mwah🥰 these are not all my most fave but they all represent a bit of me so i find them suitable

W.I.T.C.H - now i'm not gonna pretend to be the biggest fan but this used to be THE show for me before WINX came along and i'll always pride myself on being a witch girlie first and winx girlie second (the "not like other girls" syndrome began very early on for me); their powers, the visuals, the adventures combined with the daily struggles of teen girls, the boyfriends, the intro song omg, there is sm about this show, the countless books, the og comic.. good stuff <3

also those two >>>

Lovely Complex - my first anime iirc, i wish people would pay attention to it (but also i'm the only one who's allowed to get it, y'know); only a young romantic towering over her classmates could have the chance of understanding my feelings for it

also read the manga <3 but uh you can skip the live action lol

Hana Yori Dango - broooo- bro. this show was made for my basic romantic ass, it was my first asian drama (or one of the first), it introduced me to Matsumoto Jun, had me hooked for two seasons (though im pretty sure i binged the second season and movie in 24 hours, long after i had watched the first season..? idk what that was about)

i am of the opinion f4 thailand did best in many ways but this will forever be THE adaptation in my heart. the songs were unmatched, the drama breathtaking (there are so many cliches that i didn't know were cliches back then lol) and the experience surreal. i'll always treasure this questionable classic 💖

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? - i enjoy this an unreasonable amount - my country's edition, that is; i just like having it in the bg and being a smartass, sometimes i run my mouth off so confidently and proceed to apologise to the tv when the contestant turns out to have been right lol

Weekly Idol - hear me out on this - aside from all of its issues, the show has always been my way of finding more about groups. especially back in 2015, those low quality episodes on yt helped me so much with getting into kpop; it can be very hit-or-miss but i have so many faves; many artists have been on multiple episodes throughout the years and yet show something entertaining every time. you can find new groups to stan through the mixed episodes and learn more about the members of groups you're already interested in (though for that i also rec individual shows like gose, wanteez, monsta x-ray etc.). i'm especially excited for eunkwang and minjoo as the new hosts, they are so funny on their own and i want to see their dynamic so bad

Pride & Prejudice - i've watched this just once but i can't not appreciate the accuracy to the book (except for the iconic lake scene lmao) and it covers british tv, 90s shows, austen books and period dramas all at once - all things i enjoy

Bridgerton - i had a whole piece written bout this but simply put - season 2 and kathony were a Thing for me. got me researching and binging a bunch of jonathan shows, reading most of the book and a bunch of tumblr posts..even looking through gifs now im going feral, i love them

New Girl - i usually play shows like this in the bg but i found myself paying a lot of attention and actually losing it laughing so many times, also nick and schmidt are the most precious intense bromance i've witnessed in fiction

[welcomehomelostmediaau]

Redo of "I guess I'm doing a thing lol"

so uh I've been addicted to Welcome Home since the beginning of the year(2023)...and I'm normally the type of fan that just wanders around and gives my silent support with the odd comment left here and there....but seeing all the Welcome Home AUs I've got inspired to make my own...specifically by the who made the CreaturePirate AU...(don't let them see this pls I-I-I don't think I could function if that happened lmao XD)

....I haven't made any art for it yet but Ive got lots of notes so I'm just going to dump it all here so I've got it written down some where lol...keep reading on if you like or just keep drifting doesn't matter much to me...tho I hope you enjoy my info dumping :D

OK so to start I didn't have a proper name for this AU when I first wrote this but now I do!..it's going to be called Lost Media AU but for tagging purposes it will be WH Lost Media AU! Now onto the actual info :P

So the main thing that's different right off the bat is that instead of aimed at kids and being educational, this Welcome Home is aimed mostly for adults, young adults and maybe older teenagers but certainly not for kids [tho this doesn't stop parents from letting their kids watch it -_-]

The show leans into some heavy themes though horror seems to be its main theme with the goal of unsettling the viewers with reminders of advice given when they were kids. It started airing in 1949 and has had two hiatuses since then, one around 1957 lasting a year and the second one being 1970 lasting only a week.

Since their first hiatus in 1957 their broadcasting company has been changed but there isn't any information on the current company in charge of broadcasting the show, not even the location of the broadcasting studio could be found. The show had also went from being a mainly English broadcasted show to a multilingual one, being shown in whatever language was used most in the country the show was played in.

The Welcome Home! show was known for its lovable and eccentric cast of characters but also for its odd scheduling and bumpers. It played throughout the day and late into the night with the only interruptions being the 1-2 hour long bumpers. Depending on the time the viewer watched the show you'd get a different variant of the show. For example...

2 - 5am = horrifying visuals, sounds and a generally haunted feeling, odd creatures were mostly noted along with a few...noteworthy changes to the seemingly friendly neighborhood. [has caused many deaths tho these were wrote off as natural causes]

5 - 7am = the first of three bumpers. the mildest of them, its a bit weird and surreal as if you took way too many psychedelics at one time. Viewers might think they hear something in their home but don't pay much attention. [anyone whose seen this bumper can't remember what they saw]

7am - 9pm = the usual TV show that most people have seen, with episodes ranging from lighthearted adventures to horror/slasher plot lines. Nothing out of the ordinary here besides the odd detail or two being oddly colored or misplaced. [nothing noteworthy here besides the characters sometimes going a bit off script]

9 - 10pm = second bumper. a bit more intense than the first but again not the worst. Massive drug feel to everything as if you are on the way to having a very bad trip. Everything begins to bleed together and become oddly colored while seeing the characters head inside their homes. Wally's house becomes the focus with a sudden wide shot of the neighborhood. [has traumatized kids and caused many to faint once the bumper is done, an odd eye mark showing up on the nap of the neck barely noticeable anyone including the viewer]

10pm - 1am = the once happy and inviting neighborhood becomes very much unwelcoming, becoming an odd liminal space of sorts with distorted voices drifting in and out repeatedly. The camera is fixed on Home with things moving at the edges of the camera but that's all at least on the surface [has driven people to insanity and paranoia]

1 - 2am = the last bumper...very intense and the feeling of being watched comes to the forefront and quickly becomes overwhelming the mark given on the second bumper burns intensely and the viewer can feel themselves stiffen up leaning more towards the TV screen. [while somewhere in the viewer's home faint chanting can be heard]

A big coincident that occurred started during its run in the 60s seemed to plague the show till now. A cult had revealed themselves to the masses though the name has been seemingly lost due to some meddling by someone. At the same time quite a few people [between 12 and 33] began to go missing with no traces as to what happened or where they may have gone. The only key thing tying them all together was that Welcome Home! was on in their residence when they went missing. The cases had gone cold after a few years but many speculate that the show and the cult had something to do with it.

wow that was quite a lot now that Ive written it out XD and that's only like the lore stuff Ive got sorted out atm haven't even gotten to the characters and such lol...maybe when I get home from work I'll get all that stuff written down and posted? idk XD we shall see I guess

[frostedpolkabb]

Alrighty...I guess Im doing a thing XD

so uh Ive been addicted to Welcome Home since the beginning of the year...and Im normally the type of fan that just wanders around and give my silent support....but seeing all the Welcome Home AUs Ive got inspired to make my own...

....I havent made any art for it yet but Ive got lots of notes so Im just going to dump it all here so Ive got it written down some where lol...keep reading on if you like or just keep drifting doesn't matter much to me...tho I hope you enjoy my info dumping :D

OK so to start I dont have a proper name for this AU yet..the working title is Creepy Media AU for the moment but Im always open to suggestions! Now onto the actual info :P

So the main thing thats different right off the bat is that instead of aimed at kids and being educational, this Welcome Home is aimed mostly for adults, young adults and maybe older teenagers but certainly not for kids [tho this doesn't stop parents from letting their kids watch it -_-]

The show leans into some heavy themes though horror seems to be its main theme with the goal of unsettling the viewers with reminders of advice given as kids. It started airing in 1949 and has had two hiatuses since then, one around 1957 lasting a year and the second one being 1970 lasting only a week.

Since their first hiatus in 1957 their broadcasting company has been changed but no information on the company is available anywhere, not even the location of the broadcast could be found. The show had also went from being a mainly English broadcasted show to a multilingual one, being shown in whatever language was used most in the country the show was played in.

The Welcome Home! show was known for its lovable and eccentric cast of characters but also for its odd scheduling and bumpers. It played throughout the day and late into the night with the only skips being the 1-2 hour long bumpers. Depending on the time the viewer watched the show you'd get a different variant of the show. For example...

2 - 5am = horrifying visuals, sounds and a generally haunted feeling, odd creatures were mostly noted along with a few...noteworthy changes to the seemingly friendly neighborhood. [has caused many deaths tho these were wrote off as natural causes]

5 - 7am = the first of three bumpers. the mildest of them, its a bit weird and surreal as if you took way too many psychedelics at one time. Viewers might think they hear something in their home but don't pay much attention. [anyone whose seen this bumper can't remember what they saw]

7am - 9pm = the usual tv show that most people have seen, with episodes ranging from light-hearted adventures to horror/slasher plot lines. Nothing out of the ordinary here besides the odd detail or two being oddly colored or misplaced. [nothing noteworthy here besides the characters sometimes going a bit off script]

9 - 10pm = second bumper. a bit more intense than the first but again not the worst. Massive drug feel to everything as if you are on the way to having a very bad trip. Everything begins to bleed together and become oddly colored while seeing the characters head inside their homes. Wally's house become the focus with a sudden wide shot of the neighborhood. [has traumatized kids and caused many to faint once the bumper is done, an odd eye mark showing up on the nap of the neck barely noticeable]

10pm - 1am = the once happy and inviting neighborhood becomes very much unwelcoming, becoming an odd liminal space of sorts with distorted voices drifting in and out repeatedly. The camera is fixed on Home with things moving at the edges but that's all [has driven people to insanity and paranoia]

1 - 2am = the last bumper...very intense and the feeling of being watched comes to the forefront and quickly becomes overwhelming the mark given on the second bumper burns intensely. [while somewhere faint chanting can be heard]

A big coincident that acured during its run in the 60s seemed to plague the show. A cult had revealed themselves to the masses though the name has been seemingly lost to time. At the same time quite a few people [between 12 and 33] began to go missing with no traces as to what happened or where they may have gone. The only key thing tying them all together was that Welcome Home! was on in their residence. The case had gone cold after a few years but many speculate that the show and the cult has something to do with it.

wow that was quite a lot now that Ive written it out XD and thats only like the lore stuff Ive got sorted out atm havent even gotten to the characters and such lol...maybe when I get home from work I'll get all that stuff written down and posted? idk XD we shall see I guess

[pettyprocrastination]

A difference in Career

Pairing: Francisco Morales x Scientist!reader (pacific rim au) 

Summary: the legendary jaeger pilot Francisco Morales, finds himself back on base for the first time in 14 years. He meets a new face while trying to avoid a familiar one. 

word count: 552. this is a baby done for fun. 

Note: I had the pacific rim au idea like...a year ago and then I rewatched the movie twice last night, cried, and wrote this for funzies. Very short and just written for fun. Enjoy! Let me know if this is a concept you’d like to see more of. I've written out how each TF character plays into the concept and would even possibly have a relationship. 

tagging @madhyanas​ because she hasn’t seen this movie yet and we should all bully her until she does. Also tagging @pedrostories​ because im shit at tagging you in things i keep forgetting im sorry love lmao. 

------

“Does it bother you to see them like this?” 

A heart valve of a kaiju fought and killed in Tokyo six weeks ago, sat suspended in a murky yellow fluid. He didn’t turn away from it as you spoke, content to sit there and watch it move. Pulsing and thrusting liquid through it as if still inside of a body. 

“To see them like what?” “Fragmented.”

He pulled himself away from the tank, you stood next to him, peering out of the corner of your eye at the pilot. 

When Francisco arrived at the base, you were one of the first people he saw. A manic little scientist who moved through the base like a hurricane. A flurry of files and mumbles, usually toting some cart of kaiju entrails behind you. 

Most people parted when they saw jaeger pilots. They would stand and stare as he walked past with hushed whispers of “he came” “hasn’t stepped foot in one since his wife died” “what about the commander-” like he couldn’t hear them. They looked at him like a hero. A god. 

You looked at him the same way you looked at a kaiju. 

Like you wanted to pick him apart. Cut him open and figure out just what makes him tick. 

“I’ve seen my share of kaiju guts, this doesn’t bother me.” It’s true. Years upon years upon years of piloting. Of fighting. Of killing had steeled his stomach to the gore of these monsters. The first time he sliced one open he was 24 years old, barely enough stubble on his face to shave in the morning. 

He ended up having to clean the vomit out of his helmet when he saw it’s stomach split open, as if he wasn’t the one who did it. 

“But it’s different, isn’t it?” It was. 

Seeing a monster sliced open from a 60 foot sword in the middle of the Atlantic ocean wasn’t the same as seeing it plucked apart and examined like a dissected frog. To be studied and learned from instead of killed with zero mercy. 

“You know, you're the first pilot to come down to my lab.”

“I am?”

You hummed. “Nobody ever comes down here.” 

The lab was grimy. Coated in a layer of sweat and slick that never left no matter how much you scrubbed at it. All it managed to do was leave a lingering stench of disinfectant that was so strong it burned the nose of anybody who came in. 

“I can guess why.” 

You smiled at him, bathed in the dingy neon lights that danced across the walls from each tank, illuminating your face in a bouquet of pale yellows and vivid blues. Lips curls and teeth bared, for a moment he feels like he’s staring at one of them. 

A voice he hadn’t heard in person for years cracked over the intercom. “All jaeger pilots meet in the main training hall immediately.” A voice he heard on news reports and press metals that spoke of the pride in the jaeger program and memorializing all those who died. 

A voice he last heard calling him a pathetic coward for leaving. 

“It was nice speaking to you, Mr. Morales.” He dipped his head with a small mumble of “Nice seeing you doc.” before turning on his heel. 

[sukirichi]

— there’s always a price to pay when you get your hands on a work of art.

PAIRING: tattoo! artist megumi x reader

REQUEST. tattoo artist au + mutual pining + size kink, praise kink, thigh riding + reader is shorter than megumi and isn’t shy 

WARNINGS: feral megumi, scratching, vaginal sex, size kink, praise kink, mature content, slight overstimulation, sexual tension lol, unedited story

NOTES: ah thank you so much for this request, I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Here is my third contribution for FERAL MEGUMI FRIDAYS! and oh wow tattoo artist megumi uh no thoughts head empty

WC: 5.4k+

The tattoo saloon loomed over you, the neon signs almost blinding in the darkness. You could feel your heart pick up its pace in your chest as you hitched your bag up higher, the excitement settling in your toes. Mustering up the brightest smile you could have, you cleared your throat and pushed the door open, the tiny bell on top jingling to signal your arrival.

Your eyes roamed around the walls covered with intricate drawings, the leather seats dark and kept in pristine. Now that was rare – your leather couches always wore out in just a few weeks.

Making your way inside, grip on your sling bag still tight, you bit your lip as you peaked behind the counter. Empty. No one was there, and the nearby opened rooms were empty as well. Scratching your head, you scrunched your nose in confusion. You were sure you got the right place.

With a heavy sigh, you turned to leave, then stopped in your tracks when a dark-haired man exited a door you hadn’t even noticed at first.

He was tall – taller than you; his arms stretched until the sleeves of his black hoodie were pulled down, revealing a sliver of black tattoos that marked his skin. Upon hearing your awed gasp, his cold blue eyes fluttered to yours, the man – who was absolutely handsome despite his frown – froze in his spot.

You waved a hand to him, your smile bigger than ever. “Hi!” So you would be working with this cute guy? Maybe job-hunting wasn’t such a bad experience, after all.

“Hey,” he drawled out hesitantly, approaching you with his ink stained fingers pointed at you. He was still frowning, which was a damn shame, since you were sure he’d look even hotter if he smiled. “So...you’re Y/N.”

“Yeah!”

“And you...” he tilted his head to the side, inquisitive eyes studying your form. You would’ve felt conscious with the way his brows furrowed, eyes unreadable and lips pressed into a thin line, but you were sure you dressed to impress on your first interview. You admitted, however, that maybe wearing a white collared shirt with a pink tennis skirt made you stand out like a sore thumb in the heaviness of the studio. “...want to be a front desk man here?”

“Yeah!”

“What makes you think you’re qualified for this?” he crossed his arms on his chest, and you didn’t miss the slight bite of his voice. So he was handsome – but cranky. Great. “You don’t look like you fit in here.”

“Judging someone’s appearance and inferring that it has any relation to their credentials isn’t such a professional thing to do, you know,” you raised your chin proudly, jutting a pointer finger to his chest. He clearly didn’t expect this because he scowled and took a step back, while you fought the grin that threatened to paint your face. “Would you like it if people told you that you’re not qualified to be a lawyer because of your tattoos and piercings?”

He scoffed, “I don’t want to be a lawyer. As you can see, I’m a tattoo artist. And to answer your question, no, I don’t give a fuck what people think about me.”

“I can tell,” you muttered to yourself before smiling back up at him. He was too easy to read; his brow quivering and lips firm at your faux enthusiasm. “But yes, I do believe I’m qualified! I’m a fast learner and I’m even quick on my feet! I’m really good at talking to people too so I believe I can help schedule client appointments really well and guide them with this whole process.”

“Being front desk man doesn’t mean serving the clients tea and biscuits.”

“I know.”

“You know?” he snorted with a roll of his eyes. He then gestured you to follow him all the way back to the front desk. You expected he’d teach you about how to handle the appointment books or pick up phone calls, but instead he plopped down on the leather couch of the waiting area, his legs crossed on top of the other.

Your eyes followed the patch of pale skin exposed from his ripped jeans before you looked away, not wanting him to see that you found him attractive despite his less than welcoming personality.

“What exactly do you know about this industry?”

“Nothing, to be honest, but I’m not here to be a tattoo artist or anything. I just really need a job and I assure you I’ve got plenty of experience and knowledge when it comes to manning front desks or counters,” you stated confidently, “I know I look out of place, but I really need this job.”

The man only narrowed his eyes at you. Contemplation was written all over his face, probably wondering why you couldn’t just work somewhere else. “Why come here, of all places?”

“Because it’s the only one that has a flexible schedule,” you sighed, “I can’t work shifts anymore because I’m too busy at university. From when I talked to your boss – Geto, was it? – he said that the salon was open 24/7 and I could work until before my classes start. He’s not really strict about that kind of thing.”

“So you mean to tell me,” he leaned forwards, looping his fingers with one another while his ice cold gaze slithered over your desperate ones. “You’ll be at university for half the day, sleep until midnight, and then come here to work and attend class a few hours later? Isn’t your schedule a little irregular?”

“Oh no, it’s not like that! I also have mock classes after uni and it lasts until late at night, then I help clean at the local shelter. They’re running out of volunteers and the dogs are really adorable and take my stress away so...I make sure to come by when I have time.”

“You are one odd creature,” he noted loudly, almost as if he wasn’t completely aware he vocalized his thoughts. Well, at least now you knew he wasn’t the type to think his words over, which either made him more entertaining – or insufferable the longer you worked with him – if you began working anyway. “You could’ve used your spare time to rest. Do you even eat?”

“Yeah, I have a granola bar right now with me! I actually brought two,” you pulled out the snack from your bag, “You want some? I only got the oats, though.”

“Keep it to yourself,” he rolled his eyes, slapping his hands over his knees before rummaging over something behind the counter. “Fine. If Geto said he’s okay with you, then you’re hired.”

“Really, that easy?” your eyes widened, but then you chuckled when this strange man glared at you in response. He sighed as he pulled out a piece of paper, a pen on top of it. The papers read something about application forms and credentials, and you beamed, happily writing your information away with a slight bounce in your toes.

Unable to keep your happiness to yourself, you looked back at the bored man, wiggling your eyebrows playfully. “Huh. I was kind of expecting you would grill me – you’ve got that scary look in your eye. Let me guess, you often scare clients off?”

It seemed he could never get tired of glaring at you, because his eyes fuelled with heat as he leaned against the wall.

You hated to admit that he looked ridiculously handsome like that – the guy wasn’t even doing anything remotely attractive in the first place!

“I’m the most booked artist here, and I ask that you don’t get too comfortable with me. You haven’t even started working here and you’re already riling up on my train,” he groaned when you merely laughed in response. He made quick work of signing something in your form before handing you a key. “Here’s for your locker. Come to work tomorrow. Geto won’t be around for a week so I’ll be the one judging your performance. If you fuck up in the slightest – I won’t hesitate to fire you, you understand? We always have Yuuji coming around anyway, you’re really not that needed for the front desk.”

“Oh,” you nodded at his harshness, unsure whether to feel threatened or amused. “O-okay. I’ll do my best then. I look forward to you – ah, wait, what’s your name?”

“Fushiguro Megumi.”

“Oh, that’s a pretty name,” you muttered to yourself, uttering his name over and over again until it rolled smoothly on your tongue. “Shame you have a shitty attitude along with that handsome face, though.”

“You trying to say something?”

You faced him, about to laugh when he scowled at your not-so-subtle comments. Waving your hands to him, you made your way out the door, your smile only irritating him further. “No, I wasn’t. I’ll be taking my leave then – see you tomorrow!”

Seems like working in a tattoo studio wouldn’t be so bad.

You came to work the next day early and pumped with adrenaline. The idea of meeting the moody tattoo artist caused you to be giggly and happy the whole day, not even feeling the exhaustion of a long day of hard work as you made your way inside the shop.

Clocking in at exactly two in the morning, you proudly tugged your name badge on top of your left breast, patting it for good luck.

The bells jingled, making you look away from your tag. “Good morning – oh, where’s Megumi?” The man standing in front of you was taller than Megumi, his head nearly knocking over the doorframe if it wasn’t for his poor, slouched lanky frame.

He had white hair that brushed atop his cerulean blue eyes, and your eyes widened because wow, he was beautiful.

“Hey, you must be Y/N! Megumi told me you came around yesterday but he didn’t tell me the counter girl was this pretty,” He was in front of you the next second, his nose nearly grazing over yours that had you leaning back into the wall for space. “Hmm...he didn’t tell me that at all.”

“Oh, thank you. You are...?”

“I’m Gojo Satoru, one of the senior artists here. Since Megumi isn’t here yet, let me give you a tour!” Before you could react, Satoru already had an arm wrapped around your shoulder, his other arm waving and pointing to all the hung paintings and labels on each door. You found it odd that he treated you like you were an old friend, but you weren’t going to complain. Nice co-workers were always welcomed.

“Here is the holding area where clients wait to get their session done. This is Geto’s studio and right next to that is his office where he does all the finances and all that jazz, while this is my studio. Cool, isn’t it?”

Your mouth fell ajar as Satoru led you inside his studio, the walls painted the same aquatic shade of his eyes, but what caught your attention was the galaxy themed tattoo designs he made. They came in different shapes – a volcano head, a dragon, a worm, a four-armed monster – but inside them were all galaxies with sparkling and burning stars. You could see everything and nothing all at the same time.

“Whoa, you made all this?!”

Satoru’s chest puffed out proudly, “Yeah, I did. I’m flattered by your reaction, I really am, but you haven’t seen Megumi’s yet. There’s a reason our salon boomed even though he’s only been working here for two years.”

At the mention of his name, your interest was piqued, all ears and curious smiles directed to Satoru. “Oh, can I see Megumi’s studio?”

“You can – if you book an appointment.”

“But I don’t plan on getting any tattoos,” you frowned.

“You’ll never get to see his work then,” he chuckled to himself, the sound growing louder when you visibly deflated. What was the point of getting your hopes up like that then? “Megumi doesn’t like letting others in his studio without permission or an appointment.”

“Why not?”

“He’s just iffy about it,” he shrugged, “Don’t bother trying to decode his personality anymore, Megumi’s very hard to understand. Though if I were to make sense of it...” he rubbed his chin, eyes looking out into the distance. “I guess you could say Megumi’s not the type to be showy when it comes to his work of art. Did that clear it up?”

You blinked back blankly. “No, not really. But it’s fine – I don’t plan on getting to know him anyway.”

That was the biggest lie of your life.

The moment Megumi came around a few minutes later, a loud groan upon your animated greeting over his arrival, your chest bloomed with a different kind of fluttery warmth. He rarely came out after that, clients swarming in to both his and Satoru’s studios, but each faint glimpse of his door cracking open that allowed you to see him focused as he worked, you could no longer deny the heat burning down your legs.

You crushed on the grumpy tattoo artist.

And the more you came around work, greeting him zealously and teasing him to no end that he’d look hotter if he smiled, your crush only intensified for him – completely unaware that he too, couldn’t get his thoughts off of you even with his door closed.

In fact, he kept his door closed all the time because your voice distracted him too much.

“Hey, Y/N, you free?”

You looked up from the textbook you were reviewing, slamming it shut when Satoru’s head peeked out from his studio. He was still wearing gloves with a pen between his fingers, most likely still in the middle of a session.

“Yep! We don’t have appointments yet and I’ve already closed it for non-appointees. Did you need me to get you something?”

“Yeah, could you get Megumi for me? He isn’t picking his phone up and one of our special clients are coming soon. I’m packed right now so I can’t fetch him. I’ll send you the address and you get him, yeah? Just open the counter if you need money for a cab.”

You blinked owlishly at him. On one side, you’d be more than glad to see Megumi again. He hadn’t arrived despite it being four in the morning already, and you were worried, but you also didn’t have his number to ask how he was doing. Progress with Megumi was...slow, to say the least.

He still holed himself up in his studio, coming out only for bathroom breaks, although you noticed a drastic improvement when he finally began to mutter an almost shy “good morning” under his breath for the past few weeks.

It wasn’t much, but you’d have to make do.

“Uhm, when is this client of his coming? Should I run...?”

“Yeah, you need to fucking run. They’re coming in an hour and a half!” Satoru exclaimed, flailing his hands around like a madman.

Even after working with him for some time, you still couldn’t believe the older man was practically a man child, even asking for head pats sometimes. He would lean down with a pout, using a squeaky voice to call your attention, which always succeeded in Megumi fake gagging before he locked himself inside his studio.

“Forwarded you his address. Really sorry for the inconvenience, Y/N!”

“It’s okay!” you jumped out of your seat in an instant, not bothering to take your name tag off anymore as you left the salon, hailing the nearest cab.

Megumi lived quite far from the salon, which had you wondering why he chose to work there when there were plenty of salons in his area too. His place looked shady, as well, his apartment in a high-rise building with endless graffiti and several drunk stragglers hooting for you.

You ignored them all, taking two steps at a time from his staircase, your hands on your knees as you panted for air. Why did he have to live on the tenth floor?

“Megumi! Megumi!” you banged your fist on the door, throat parched from your sudden cardio session. You were sure you burned ten calories just from that sprint, and you sighed in relief when Megumi swung the door open, still looking handsome – and sleep-deprived – as ever in his black shirt and black skinny jeans.

“What?” he demanded. After seeing that it was you, he quickly snatched a water bottle and passed it your way, closing his door behind him. “Y/N? What are you doing here? How’d you know where I live?”

“Satoru said you had a really important client. You weren’t picking your phone up so he sent me to come get you.”

“It’s my day off,” he grumbled, answering your silent questions, your worries dissipating into thin air. Once you’d satisfied yourself by basically dunking the entire bottle, Megumi rolled his eyes, his hands flat on the small of your back while he guided you downstairs. The sudden touch flamed your cheeks; a stupid smile on your face. You were shameless, though, leaning back closer to him in the darkness of the early morning. “Why does he send a girl out of all people?”

“Something wrong with that?”

“It’s unsafe. My neighbourhood isn’t the best and who knows what would’ve happened to you if some goons came out?” Megumi hailed for a back, surprising you when he let you get in first and paid for the fee despite your outstretched hand prepared with the bills. “I can’t believe Sukuna chose this day to come of all times. I can never get a damn break.”

“Sukuna?”

“A special client. He’s a really huge tipper and comes on odd schedules – I didn’t think he’d come now.”

“Yeah, I checked the papers and he wasn’t there,” you frowned to yourself.

Megumi pressed his head against the window, eyes closed as his chest heaved up and down rhythmically. With the sun slowly shining from behind you, the golden stretches of it outlined his sharp features you adored, and you rested your chin on your palms, eyelashes fluttering at his beauty. “You know, Megumi, you’re really pissy sometimes – but you’re quite nice, aren’t you? I’d say you were even worried for me.”

He cracked one eye open, those blue eyes still shining with irritation, but make no mistake since his ears were flushed red. “I’m not. I just don’t want to be involved in a police investigation if they find your body near here.”

“How sweet of you.”

“Shut up.”

You and Megumi were beginning to get closer. You couldn’t pinpoint where he started to grow more comfortable with you, but it was definitely there and it was painfully evident that even someone stupid like Satoru noticed the sexual between you two.

He would always sniff the air whenever you and Megumi sat next to each other during lunch breaks, a wide grin on your face while Megumi buried his face in his hands, groaning because he knew the moment Satoru opened his mouth, nothing but dumb comments would come out. And dumb comments they were; the white-haired man merciless as he teased Megumi for acting like a cute little kid around you.

You never took it to heart, though. It was Megumi you were talking about; he was hot and cold; sweet then distant from one moment then an entire person the next.

Not that you minded, it only added to your fuelling crush on him, but you couldn’t control the way your heart fluttered every time Satoru whispered that he did like you, excusing that Megumi just wasn’t the best with words. Apparently, Megumi had spent too much time holed up in his apartment and studio that he had zero to little knowledge on how to talk to pretty girls – especially one that was clearly attracted to him as well.

Satoru encouraged you to go for it – that you should confess or break the ice first otherwise Megumi would never do anything about his raging boner every time you came around.

You only flushed at his statement, but you couldn’t deny that you too felt the same way.

One morning where Satoru and Geto were out restocking supplies, you and Megumi were left alone in the salon. Of course, he still resorted in the comfort of his studio, muttering under his breath that he wanted to try some designs before disappearing. Only this time, he left the door slightly open, the lights peeking through the slight crack.

Walking up to him with muted footsteps, you leaned over his shoulder, glancing over a sketch of...you? “Are you drawing me?”

Megumi yelped at your voice right next to his ear, throwing the paper away on the other side of the room before glaring at you. You laughed at his reaction, because how was it possible he was both so criminally sexy yet adorable? He looked terribly gorgeous today, as well, wearing a short sleeved black hoodie and black sweatpants, looking so comfortable and boyfriend like – and you couldn’t even begin to express your appreciation over his new lip piercing.

“Why do you always sneak up on me?” he snapped, “Didn’t I tell you I wanted privacy?”

“Then why aren’t you pushing me away?”

Megumi sighed exasperatedly, turning back to organize his pencils before glaring at you. “What do you want? Got no one else to bother since Satoru isn’t around?”

“I just wanted to see your art,” you mentioned, but kept your eyes directed on him instead of the plethora of sketches and designs hanging from his wall as to not offend him. “Satoru told me to never come inside. He said you’re really...private when it comes to your works,” you furrowed your brows at the last part, feeling your heart beat pulse at your tongue.

It was now or never.

“Can I see your tattoos too?”

“Why do you want to see them?”

“A work of art on a canvas who’s also a work of art himself?” you finally gained confidence to tease him again, getting riled up further when Megumi stiffened at your curious hands travelling under his shirt. His breath sharpened as his glare only deepened, though he didn’t make a move to stop you. “Why wouldn’t I want to see that?”

“Being flirty doesn’t work on you. It’s not cute.”

“You’re blushing though,” you remarked. Megumi groaned and pushed your face away until your buttocks landed on his recliner. Satisfied with Megumi not completely kicking you out, you swung your legs back and forth, still staring at his hoodie as if it was an offensive material.

“Can I...see?” Megumi rolled his eyes before he lifted his shirt up, revealing to you intricate patches of black ink splattered over ripples of muscles. Your mouth salivated, and somewhere down there, you drooled too. Tentatively, your hands reached out to finger the image of canines, Megumi shuddering over your cold touch on his warm skin. “It’s beautiful. What does it mean?”

Megumi pursed his lips before whispering, “These are the dogs I had as a child. My father got me them so I wouldn’t be too lonely when he’s away from work.”

“They’re very pretty. They look like black and white wolves,” you smiled, elated that he was opening up in more ways than one. Your touch flitted over to a winged creature under his left collarbone, small letters beside the image. “And this bird? Nue? He’s so majestic,” Your hands never stopped in trailing over his skin like a lost wanderer, sweeping over ink ink until Megumi completely discarded his hoodie to the side, his back faced to you.

A white viper tattoo stood large on his broad back, crawling until over his shoulder with the fangs ending just above his pecs. Megumi swallowed at each slivering touch, your fingers dipping and caressing every dent and curve of his body.

You couldn’t get your eyes off of him, your breath hitching in your throat as one of your hands gripped his biceps subconsciously. “You’re so beautiful.”

Megumi stiffened when your thumbs grazed over his nipple right next to the viper’s fang. Almost as if a switch was triggered inside him, Megumi growled, ducking to capture your lips with his in a sloppy, heated kiss. His hands tugged at the ends of your hair to arch your neck to him, his knees slapping your legs open before he settled comfortably between you, his low groans mixing with your breath moans.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. From the moment I met you,” he nibbled your lips, hands trailing down to thumb at your hipbones. “I knew that innocent good girl look was nothing but an act.”

You smiled through the kiss, a tiny gasp falling from your lips when Megumi pulled you closer until your heat grinded against the hardness inside his pants. Laughing at his harsh movements, you let Megumi tilt your head back, his lips sucking and teeth gently nipping at the sensitive flesh of your neck.

“Innocent girl?” you echoed, legs now wrapped around his waist to pull him closer. “What makes you think I am?”

“White lace panties? Short tennis skirts and sunshine smiles?” Megumi clenched his teeth, his hands eager as he tugged the white lace down until it looped to your ankles. You gasped, back arching when he thrusted two fingers inside you, curling and fingering against your bumpy walls. “You’re not fooling anyone, baby, especially not me.”

“Took you long enough to understand I wanted you though,” you chuckled through broken moans, eyes shut tight while your legs opened wider, heels digging into the hard cushion of his seats. “I was wondering when I’d get to break you from that tough guy act of yours and have you fuck me good,” Megumi growled at your words. You leaned forward to scratch at his chest, your tongue licking the shell of your ear as you rasped, “And on a side note, I am a good girl – only to those who can make me feel good, of course.”

Megumi cupped his palm to collect your arousal dripping of his, finally shutting you up when his fingers grazed over your sweet spot that had you clenching around him. And those were just his fingers. “You’re something else, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I know,” you nodded smugly, hands coming up to tug harshly at his hair. Megumi hissed at the sharp pain, prompting him to fuck his fingers in and out of you faster until you leaked down to his chair, thighs trembling and your high-pitched moans coating the walls of his stupid. “Megumi, ah! Just shut up and fuck me already – been wanting you long enough.”

“Needy little girl,” He pressed you down on the reclining seat, settling between your legs before he spread your lips open with two thumbs. At the sight of your bare cunt clenching around nothing, Megumi groaned, teeth biting his lip because he could cum right then and there. “Fuck, look at you. So wet already,” he ran a hand over your slit to collect your arousal, eyes dark with lust as your juices webbed between his fingers. “All this for me? You’re so good.”

“Fuck – yeah, yeah I am,” you leaned back harder into the seat, groping at your own breasts while you nodded dumbly, too fucked out to even form a coherent response. “Going to be good for you, Megumi, gonna make you feel good.”

“Sorry, babe, maybe next time. I’m too impatient to not feel your pussy around me,” he pushed away at your hands that planned to pump his cock, his hand coming down to push you hard against the seat until his weight loomed over you.

You felt Megumi begin to align his tip at your center, dampening his mushroom head with your arousal first that had you both moaning left and right.

Hands scratching down his back as your teeth dug into your lips, Megumi pushed into you with one thrust, the sudden stretch making your legs shake and your body writhe underneath him. “Shit, why are you so tight? So fucking warm and perfect,” he rasped next to your ear, and you could hear how hard he was breathing as he thrusted into you, his cock hitting all the right places.  “Could fuck this pretty pussy all day, baby, shit.”

“Me-Megumi – t-too big!”

“Shh, you’ll be fine. You’ll take it like a good girl, won’t you?” he cupped your cheek, grinning sinisterly as he watched the way your greedy walls sucked him in. “See how you take me so well? You’re so small and pretty wrapped around my cock. I could break you if I wanted you,” he growled, his hands gripping hard at your hips when you clenched around him, enticing the man above you to quicken his pace.

Megumi watched with a lust filled gaze as your breasts bounced at the relentless pace he started, his balls slapping at your ass. “Oh, you’d want that, wouldn’t you? You want to be stuffed with my fat cock in you? Fuck you until you’re a drooling mess? You’re so gorgeous when I fuck you stupid.”

“Yes, Megumi, agh. Keep going, keep going, I’m so close!”

“Oh, you feel like heaven around me,” he praised at your neck, his cock stretching you wide and pushing into you. Megumi groaned lowly at your ear as his palms flattened over your stomach that bulged every time he thrusted in, his balls tightening at the sight. “Look at how big I am for you, baby, but you’re doing so well. You were made for me – made to take my cock, shit, you’re so perfect around me. Gonna make you feel good, yeah? You’re such a good girl for me. Cum, baby, that’s right – I’m allowing you to cum.”

“Gumi, Gumi, fuckkk,” your legs tightened around him as Megumi panted with each harsh thrust, the black marks over his skin expanding and stretch when his forearm rested beside your head. His muscles clenched as he fucked into you deep, over and over again until he pushed you over the edge.

A silent sob left your lips when you came around him, your juices creaming around his cock. A few thrusts later, Megumi fell on top of you as you felt him spill his seed inside you.

He had too much that you felt both your cum dripping down your ass; Megumi pulling out with a slight wince from the oversensitivity. You struggled to catch your breath as you laid there, legs wide open and the cool air hitting your bare pussy. The door was still open, and Satoru and Geto could walk in on you both looking like this, but you couldn’t care, not when you could barely feel your legs.

You dropped your arm over your face, hearing Megumi pull his pants back up. “That was...”

“Intense?”

“Yeah,” you chuckled, wincing as you sat up. Your hair stuck to your forehead in sweaty clumps, dawning on you now that you were still very much covered in your sticky cum. You recoiled from the seats as you realized Megumi hadn’t even put on a towel underneath.

“Shit. Is this chair even clean?”

“I sanitize it every after session. Don’t worry about it,” he rolled his eyes, his tattoos covered and hidden from your sight once more when he pulled his hoodie over his head. Megumi retrieved a clean towel from his drawers and wiped at your sensitive pussy, your legs immediately closing around his hands when the towel accidentally grazed your clit.

Megumi gripped your knees with a silent glare. “Stay still. I’m cleaning you up.”

“I didn’t peg you as an aftercare guy. Thought you would leave me hanging here,” you teased, but really, you were feeling warm all over again as you watched Megumi wipe you all the way down to your other hole, your legs still tensing up.

Once he left to wash his hands, you could relax, tugging your panties back up with immense struggle. He wasn’t kidding when he said he’d fuck you good – you could barely feel your legs now.

“And have you make a mess by ruining my seat?” he sighed as he returned, helping you seady yourself while he snapped the slightly soaked panty back to your core. “No thanks.”

“You’re so mean, Megumi. I’m hurt.”

He rolled his eyes at your pout, leaning down to kiss you square on the lips. This time around, the kiss wasn’t rushed; it was slow and sensual, firm yet gentle, and his hands carefully massaged your sore hips that would soon bruise from his grip before.

“No, you’re not,” he mumbled through your lips, mimicking that lovesick smile on your face as he pulled away. “But babe, you know the rules. Now that you’ve seen my work of art – what tattoo would you like me to give you? My name on your inner thigh?”

[burnedbyshoto]

for want of a bento box

– It’s plain and simple, you see, someone is stealing your bento boxes and you will find your lunch thief! Or, in which Todoroki Shouto keeps taking your bento box and you declare war. 

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pairing: todoroki shouto x reader

warnings: fluff, cursing, shouto is a bad chef, I believe I made reader pretty gender neutral but I whipped this out in two hours and I can no longer remember if I used any fem!pronouns but im pretty sure I didn’t

word count: 3,060

a/n: this is for the wonder coworker bnharem collab! I had intended on writing a completely different theme and storyline but was very overwhelmed by how much time it actually needed to be written compared to the amount of time I actually had. that version will be out another time! but for now, enjoy some pure flufffffff!!!!

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Having a normal, functioning, well-paying job was probably the most desirable thing to you. It wasn’t to say that you were slacking or that you were homeless, broke, and never to be seen again because you were that in debt. But it was nice having a job!

When you entered the prestigious Toshinori Company, you joined not as an entry-level job employee but as a senior representative. You thought it was crazy.

It had to be crazy.

You had no prior experience, and now you were going to be in charge and the lead in certain areas?!

“And that was the entire layout of the office!” Mina chirped happily, throwing herself onto the desk chair across from yours with a big smile. “Any questions?”

“I don’t think so,” you mutter, brows creased as you look around the room again. 

The office space was ample, sleek, open. Each desk has its own grand computer that you currently could not afford with your own money, comfortable chairs, and beautiful wood desks. It was elegant, far superiorly fancy, and yet, you didn’t feel out of place. Strange.

“Oh!” you say with a roll of your eyes as you reach below your desk to bring up your packed lunch. “Where was the break room again? I need to refrigerate my food!”

“Omg, of course, come this way!” Mina grins, standing up and motioning you to follow her. You smile gratefully and do. 

The entire way to the office, Mina takes the time to point at the many different people on the floor and give them names. Everyone so far had sort of acknowledged you earlier as Mina was giving you the official tour. Some were much more open and friendly, and some had sneers or blank stares that left you dumbstruck. 

Definitely a personable group.

“Hm, well, I guess Todoroki-kun isn’t here today?” Mina mutters as you enter the break room that has couches and comfortable-looking chairs. “Such a shame! You would have loved to see the office hottie!”

You snort at that, lips curled into a granulous smile as you place your plastic container with food into the fridge. “I’m sure I’ll live,” you brush off the fact that there was an absent person on your floor today.

“That’s the thing, though,” Mina points a finger at you, a lone eyebrow raised and a confident smirk on her face. “You won’t be thinking that again the moment you see him!”

You laugh, eyes crinkling as Mina joins your laughter. Eventually, she motions for the both of you to leave, and you nod in understanding. And with a weird sense of comfort and belonging, you realized that this job was going to be good. 

.

.

Eventually, you had been working at Toshinori Company for two months.

Sixty-two days to be precise, and in all that time, you had only met Todoroki Shouto once. Even then, you had only seen the man walking through the office with a blank face, fingers in his pockets as two other men were walking in front of him, bickering lightly.

Had Mina not quite literally thrown herself across the table and gripped the collar of your shirt and twisted your head to look at him, you would have never caught a glimpse at the man with red and white hair. The three of them walked into the break room and came back out with their own lunches before leaving.

And that was it.

You had learned that the three of them (Todoroki Shouto, Midoriya Izuku, and Bakugou Katsuki) were within your department but worked very closely with the very high up members within the company. Many rumors pointed at one of the three taking over the company when the current CEO stepped down. They were, however, on the roster for your floor; they just never appeared except to pick up their lunches. Something they seemed to come to grab whenever you were a) way too fucking busy or b) not in the room.

You weren’t too bothered, though.

It wasn’t like you were trying to date one of them! You had only wanted to say hi.

.

.

.

Now, at ninety days, you had your first and probably most crucial evaluation. 

Toshinori Yagi, the man who founded and currently ran this company, sat before you, looking at papers within a folder with tired but kind blue eyes. He nodded, impressed (hopefully), making small comments about the work you had been able to accomplish, a smile becoming a warming grin as he looked up.

“I’m impressed by the performance you’ve managed to attend to despite the short while you’ve been here, y/l/n-shojo,” Toshinori spoke, his fingers threading together and placing them onto the table. “I knew it was an excellent decision to put you in that position, and you exceeded my entire expectation!”

You flushed at that, lips twitching as you attempted to suppress that smile of yours. 

“Thank you, Toshinori-san,” you practically wheeze as he waves off your thanks.

“No need to thank me, you’ve done all this work!” he laughs, tired eyes closing with a glorious supply of crow's feet blooming at the corner of his eyes. “Typically, at these evaluations, I ask a bunch of questions because there isn’t too much anyone can do in their first ninety days, I must admit.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm, but because I am curious, is there anything that has been happening as of late that you feel needs to be addressed with me?”

You felt yourself stiffen but knew your one and only complaint was not something to bring up in this setting.

“No, nothing,” you shrug, and Toshinori beams.

“I’m glad!”

Now, the problem.

The big, fat, stinky, hooligan, wanting to throttle someone problem.

For the past sixty of your ninety days, someone has been stealing your lunch.

Yes, you heard that correctly; someone was stealing your damn lunch! Every morning you woke up and prepared a delicious bento box for yourself. Some days you went as far as cutting shapes into your fruits and veggies just to make yourself grin. You weren’t the best chef in the world, but your bento boxes were pretty enough to make up for it, in your opinion. But the thing is, every day when you went into the communal fridge, you noticed two things.

One, your bento box was no longer in the same place, and two, the bento box was not yours at all.

The food was disastrously organized. Rice and lettuce spilling out in every partition in the box. The fruit and veggies often packed in this box had multiple cuts in them, implying that whoever did this was less than ideal with a knife. The meat was often oversalted, the sushi never sitting together, and everything was just… not it.

The first time you had sighed and eaten it, grumbling about how your precious lunch was stolen. But you had quickly figured out that it was inedible, and Mina, Uraraka, and Yaoyorozu thank god, offered to share their meals. 

Seeing that you were distressed about how someone stole your egg and octopus sausages one day, Mina declared that they would watch the break room for whoever was stealing your light blue bento box. The first day you staked out, you had done it with Mina. But ten minutes into waiting around, you needed to pee. So you stood up and left in a hurry, leaving Mina alone.

But when you returned, Mina was gone, instead standing by Kirishima’s desk with a bright grin and a stance that screamed that she heard something she liked (gossip, possible in-office romance, a love confession?). Her jaw dropped as she noticed you and Kirishima had turned and waved in your direction as you raced into the break room to open the fridge, and sure enough, your bento was gone.

The next time, you staked out with Uraraka. Your arms were folded, your bladder cleared, and your lips twisted into a pout as you glared and stared down every single member who entered the room. Uraraka whispered to you her guesses about just who might be the thief, every other person rating an 8/10 likelihood of stealing your lunch.

But as the both of you sat there, your eyes narrowed at each passerby, no one came to collect your bento today.

“Deku-kun, no packed lunch today?” Uraraka asked as the green, curly-haired man you had only met once previously raced into the break room, grabbing the extra chopsticks meticulously hidden in the third bottom draw.

“Ah, Uraraka-san, y/l/n-san! Uh, no,” Midoriya greeted you both, who apparently responds to the nickname Deku, laughs off as he grabs a handful of napkins. “Todoroki-kun left all our lunches in his car by accident, and well… they spoiled… Kacchan’s pissed, so I ran off to get lunch for us today!”

Uraraka laughed, shaking her head, “Leave it to Todoroki-kun to act that way.”

Midoriya laughed, bright and clearly in agreement, “You should have seen his face when Kacchan asked for his lunch! I swear–”

“HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GRAB FUCKING CHOPSTICKS, SHIT-KU! I’M FUCKING STARVING!” a voice roared from nowhere near the entrance of the break room. You did, however, jump a bit, eyes turning toward the break room entrance to see the blond man (Bakugou? Kacchan? You had no idea which was correct) near the entrance of the floor. 

“It’s only been a minute, Kacchan, relax!” Midoriya laughs, completely unaffected by the startling shout as he waves goodbye to both you and Uraraka before leaving, joining Bakugou as the both of them seem to talk comfortably… well, maybe more like bickering.

“Why are they–”

“Childhood friends, apparently,” Uraraka sighed, but the smile on her face betrays her exasperation.

No one stole your bento that day.

Yaoyorozu took up the third stake out, the two of you idly chatting about tea. You honestly had no idea what to talk about with Yaomomo; she was often just so elegant and mature despite being your age. When you learned that her family was in charge of the Yaoyorozu Corp, it had been strangely easy to accept that. 

It made sense.

So as the two of you stood at the kitchen sink, boiling water for tea Yaomomo swore would be the best matchup for your packed nigiri, the both of you missed the man who walked into the room, opened the fridge, and took your lunch.

“I… I am so sorry,” Yaomomo apologized, head bowed dangerously low as the both of you looked at the sloppily cut salmon in your not actual bento. “Please eat my food in reparation.”

“No, it’s okay,” you sigh, chewing on the somehow still warm salmon. “I deserved this loss.”

Luck was just on this man's side, it seemed. No matter what you did, you could never catch the man in action, and you were ready to give up.

But this was the last attempt you said to yourself as you returned to your office floor, the evaluation done, and the rest of your life coming to light. You could do this. No! You WOULD do this!

.

.

“Why don’t you just put your name on your bento box?” Bakugou asked, a lone eyebrow raised in what you could only assume was judgment and pity. The explosive man was standing in the doorway of the breakroom, watching as you and Mina were trying to climb up the counters of the breakroom to grab the camera you had previously planted. “Obviously, it doesn’t have your name on it.”

“Um,” you squeak, having been obviously caught by someone who intimidated you just the slightest bit. “That’s a good idea, thank you, Bakugou-san.”

“Tch, whatever, just clean up the damn counters, fucking nasty standing up on there. Some people prepare their food there.”

“We would never forget to do that!” you argue, desperate to not leave a bad impression on this man.

“I don’t know much about you, but I know raccoon eyes over there would.”

“MY NAME IS MINA!”

“Like I care.”

He left without so much as a wave but did seem to nod with his departure. You sighed as you hopped off the counter, Mina grabbing the cleaning supplies as she cursed out the long-gone man under her breath. 

But you were looking at the fridge with your missing bento box.

“I can’t believe I never put my name on it.”

“It’s okay! Not even Yaomomo thought of it, so I say we are still smart!”

.

.

.

It was the next day, you were at your desk, anxious as hell as you did your work, trying not to focus on the fact that it was lunchtime and you were actively avoiding the break room. You wondered if they wouldn’t come and collect it today. If somehow they were an asshole and wouldn’t care if your name was on it! What would happen then? What if it was someone like Bakugou who was taking your lunch? What then? You were sure you would cave in slight fear and major intimidation if he said that your lunch was his now.

“Want a cutie while we wait, cutie?” Mina asked, waving the small tangerine in her fingers as she grins.

“Please,” you say in gratitude for the food because you were starving. “Thank you.”

Eventually, you lost track of what was happening, becoming all too invested in the conversation that Mina was telling you about that involved Kaminari, Kirishima, Bakugou, Midoriya, twenty-seven Red Bulls, fifteen Monsters, and five shots of sake. It seemed that the former two were quite big instigators when they wanted to be, and the latter two were unable to back away from challenges, especially when the other was involved.

“Y/l/n?” an unfamiliar voice called from behind you, and you turned partially in your chair as you looked behind you.

Standing behind you was a tall man with red and white hair, and from this distance, you noticed immediately that his eyes were a deep grey and brilliant blue.

Todoroki Shouto.

“T-Todoroki-san!” you greet him back, voice unable to keep from trembling as your nerves shot up. What was going on? You two had never interacted before! He was always gone, never present, and whenever he was in the office, it seemed that you weren’t there.

He cleared his throat and raised up two identical bento boxes.

“It seems… I have apparently been stealing your bento boxes,” he concludes, pressing the blue bento box with your name written on it into your hands.

Your jaw drops as your fingers curve around the cool plastic, eyes blinking up a storm as you try to abstain from laughing high pitched and ugly like. 

“It was you?!”

A pink color blooms onto his cheeks as he averts his eye contact with you and nods slowly, “I am so sorry.”

“I just… how?!” you exclaim, exasperated, this man obviously being a bit dense if he had no idea he was taking your bento box!

“I prepare my bento boxes the night before, and I don’t really remember what I put into them….” Todoroki explains slowly, his hand rubbing the back of his neck, his tongue clicking the roof of his tongue. “I just thought that my cooking was improving and that I was somehow doing an amazing job.”

The grin that overcomes your face is one of subtle, strange fondness and soft warmth. “I can tell you that you probably haven’t improved much,” you tease, opening your bento box to see your prepared meal for the day. 

Cucumber salad, bulgogi beef, rice, and some fruit.

It was packed exactly how you remembered.

“I can’t believe I finally get to eat a meal I prepared,” you continue to tease, your eyes moving up to meet Todoroki, who was also looking at your bento previously. “Thank you for returning my meals and apologizing.”

“It was nothing,” Todoroki waved off with a single hand before opening up his own disastrously assembled bento box. It looked worse than usual today. Everything was just thrown in, it seemed. You saw egg and rice, but everything else in there was indescribable. He smiles at you before sighing at his bento. “This looks more like my stuff.”

You laugh, shaking your head, “You want to share my bento box? I’m sure you probably don’t want to return to that.”

“No, it’s okay,” Todoroki gently declined, although he looked at your bento with great want. He cleared his throat, gaze moving to lock on yours, and you swore his cheeks were still pink but no longer from embarrassment. “I just wanted to come and apologize for stealing your lunch for so long and to thank you for the meals; they were all delicious. Especially the soba you had made.”

“It’s all good; it’s in the past now,” you say gently, somehow finding yourself falling for a man you’ve barely just begun to talk with. The both of you stare at each other, and your skin feels warm. You chuckle, gaze averting for a moment before returning as you tease him. “Although, if you steal from me again, I’m not so sure if I’ll be so lenient.”

“It won’t happen again, promise,” Todoroki smiles, and you feel your spine melt. “But I would love to make it up to you somehow. I can make you dinner one night or something?”

You laugh, head shaking, “No, absolutely not; I don’t trust your cooking skills just yet. But you can definitely take me out to dinner.”

“Yeah, I can definitely do that,” Todoroki agrees, and the both of you fall silent as the shy stares continue. “Does, um… is Friday at seven okay with you?”

“That works,” you say, and Todoroki smiles.

“Good, I’ll uh, see you then?”

“See you,” you agree with a sweet smile before turning around, your fingers raised in a small wave. 

You turn to see Mina, Uraraka, and Yaomomo staring at you, eyes comically wide and so very intrigued.

“Oh… my… GOD!” Mina shrieked as Todoroki walks away, and you shriek as she jumps across the table and shakes you, screaming about office romances and meet-cutes being entirely too underrated. “PROMISE ME I’LL BE INVITED TO THE WEDDING!!!!”

“MINA!”

.

.

.

.

.

It would take about three years of dating, several months of teaching Shouto how to cook, which resulted in a few bellyaches. Still, eventually yes, Mina would be invited to your wedding.

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC’s Date With the Side Characters is Going Terribly and Then it Starts to Rain

Brothers ver.

Diavolo

It was a tragic truth that the poor Crown Prince didn’t get to go out and have fun very often, but he had managed to get a singular day off! He of course was going to spend it with the future monarch-consort of the Devildom!

Diavolo had a whole list written out that was full of fun cliche date activities that he wanted to try, and it was also full of stuff MC said they wanted to do, so the date was going to be completely perfect.

As Diavolo and MC walked hand in hand to Madame Scream’s, they both took notice to the fact that literally every single demon in the vicinity was staring at the two of them.

The crown prince laughed it off, saying that MC looked so positively radiant that everyone couldn’t help but stop and look. MC laughed and leaned their head against Dia’s arm, but both of them knew full well that everyone was really staring at Diavolo.

To be fair, wouldn’t you stare if the most powerful person in the entire realm walked by holding hands with a pathetic little human?

They got to Madame Scream’s, got their sweets, then Diavolo got a phone call. It was Lucifer frantically explaining that the RAD gym was on fire and he needed to run everything by Diavolo before he could do anything about it.

That ate up about fifteen minutes and the desserts ended up getting cold… Diavolo tried to make light of it as the two finally got to eat their chocolate chip cookies.

“So apparently one student thought it would be a good idea to set a firework off inside, you know I encourage having fun at school but maybe they should have set this off outside.” “Maybe..?”

Next it was time for a romantic walk on the beach! That would have gone better if Diavolo remembered it was giant-crab season. As cool as it was to watch Diavolo hammer-throw an eight foot tall crab into the ocean it left MC’s ankles vulnerable to get pinched by regular sized crabs.

And maybe they both should have wore appropriate shoes… they were sinking into the sand and it was getting into their shoes…

Okay, so the beach didn’t work out, Diavolo had plenty of other ideas! They just had to- wait he was getting another call.

Half an hour later, Diavolo was finally able to hang up and gave MC an apologetic look. He said that he needed to cut the date short and go to an unavoidable meeting…

Oh well, at least this date couldn’t get any-

A loud crack of thunder caused Diavolo to nearly drop his phone in surprise. Oh… oh no… not rain…

Large droplets of water pelted the pair as they waited for Barbatos to pick them up. Diavolo slowly lifted up his arm and shielded MC from the rain as best he could. Well… this outfit was ruined, the least he could do was try and save MC’s…

“Well…” Diavolo tentatively began. “I heard getting caught in the rain is supposed to be romantic..?”

MC only sighed and moved a little closer, they folded their arms and stared blankly ahead. Their glassy expression made the crown prince’s heart sink right to the floor. Maybe he could cancel the meeting! He promised he’d spend more time with MC and he intended to keep it!

“MC, I could-”

“Dia, no.” MC looked up and gave him a small smile. “It’s okay, I’m okay. I knew what I was getting into when I said I’d be with you. Your kingdom is more important than one little date.”

“But I wanted to make you happy today…” Diavolo mumbled. His kingdom had always come first, before his friends, before MC, before even himself, was it so much to ask to have just one day for him to spend with the person he loved?

The human reaches up and lowered Diavolo’s arm and looped it around their shoulders. “And you did, any time that I get to spend with you makes me happy. Besides, it wasn’t all bad. The crab moment was pretty awesome.”

MC pulled out their DDD and showed Diavolo a picture of himself chucking the giant crab into the watery horizon. “We can put at least one moment of this date into the photo album.”

The precise tapping of the falling raindrops cause the DDD to flick to the next picture, which was an awkwardly angled snapshot of MC brandishing a stick at a much smaller crab who had attached its claws to their ankle.

“Uh, maybe not this picture…”

Barbatos

The poor butler rarely ever gets a day off, and he could tell MC missed spending time with him, so he asked Diavolo for a day off.

Of course Diavolo said yes, but when the day of the date came…

Barbatos saw every mishap and disaster coming a mile away. The smart thing to do would be cancel the date, but NO. Barbatos was going to use his powers for good and make sure MC had the time of their life!

The first disaster was supposed to come in the form of a pickpocket stealing MC’s wallet, key word being supposed.

As the perp made their way through the somewhat crowded sidewalk, fully prepared to swipe some wallets, Barbatos quickly twirled and dipped MC out of the way. This action also conveniently had the result of Barb knocking the pickpocket out cold.

MC of course, was none the wiser of the attempted theft and just assumed Barbatos was being suave (tm).

The second disaster was both MC and Barbatos getting hot coffee accidentally spilled all over them. Or it WOULD have been if Barbatos hadn’t quickly notified the person that would have spilled the drink that their shoelaces were undone.

Hell yeah! Second disaster averted!

The date progressed smoothly, well, as smooth as it could have gone. All those days of work and the task of making sure MC was none the wiser of any of the nasty things that could have ruined the date was really making Barbatos tired…

“Barbatos, are you alright?” “*exhausted breathing* Y-yes dearest, of course. Don’t trouble yourself.”

MC would have bought that lie if Barbatos didn’t look like he had just finished running a ten kilometre long race through a heatwave.

After making sure MC was not in the path of the escaped hellhound that would be running down the street in three, two, one, there it went, MC was safe and sound, Barbatos sighed in relief.

Just one more thing…

In the smoothest possibly motion, Barbatos opened the umbrella he had been carrying and held it over himself and MC.

MC looked up at the umbrella perplexed. “Barbatos, why-”

Thunder rumbled as the first drops of rain pelted harmlessly against the umbrella. Barbatos smiled softly and took MC’s hand. “Did you enjoy the date, darling?”

“Have you been doing damage control all day..?” MC asked. “Oh no wonder you look exhausted…”

Barbatos’ face burned with embarrassment when MC wrapped their arms around him.

“You work way to hard, this date was supposed to be relaxing for the both of us,” MC sighed. “You know what? We’re going to go back to the Demon Lord’s Castle, and I’m making you tea and snacks.”

“MC..?”

They began to pull Barbatos in the direction of the castle and plucked the umbrella out of his hand.

“I’ll hold this.” MC smiled brightly. “You relax, mister.”

Barbatos was about to protest, then sighed, no future he could see in his brief overview involved MC giving up on their new mission to make him take a break. He felt himself smile, he really lucked out with this human, didn’t he?

Simeon

The next volume of TSL had been released and Simeon was officially completely exhausted. He had spent the past two days signing special hardback copies and his writing hand was officially deceased.

He needed to relax and unwind… who better to do it with than MC? Simeon simply invited MC over to Purgatory Hall to hang out.

Oh my~ premarital eye contact~

It was just so nice, MC rested their head on Simeon’s chest while they lounged in bed watching TV, their hands gently intwined, the smell of Luke baking cookies…

Simeon let out a content sigh, he was truly and completely at peace in that moment. The soft knock on the door to his room barely phased him.

Solomon poked his head into the room with a bright smile.

“Hi you two, so sorry to barge in on your date, but before Luke took over the kitchen I made way too much food. I’ll bring some in for you guys!” “Solomon no-” “Wait!”

The date was now in intense danger. They needed to get out of there immediately! The first thing the angel could think to do to save the love of his life was to throw them out of the window.

Fret not, MC’s fall slowed considerably and they gently landed on the grass outside thanks to Simeon’s magic, but the angel himself was not as lucky. Yes his fall was slowed, but he still faceplanted into the dirt.

The two ended up running for dear life away from Purgatory Hall, further exhausting Simeon.

Well, at least they ended up near a very pretty fountain. Simeon and MC sat on the fountain ledge and resumed their snuggling.

Until Simeon got a phone call from a very frantic Luke begging for help with his math homework.

Due to being quite rusty at the subject, Simeon had to teach himself how to calculate the square root of something and then teach Luke, which was honestly frustrating for everyone involved.

After the homework was felt with, Simeon got ready to sit back down on the fountain ledge, ended up missing, then slipped straight into the fountain. It was a good thing that the water was shallow…

Then to MC and Simeon’s horror, it began to rain.

“Well…” Simeon sighed, he accepted MC’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled out of the fountain. “This isn’t so bad..?”

Lightning cracked in the distance, Simeon pulled MC into his arms on reflex, only to then realize that MC had become just as soaked as he was.

“I… sorry, MC.”

Simeon slowly unwrapped his arms from around MC, but the human remained firmly in place. “Ah, it’s fine. Want to call a cab or back to Purgatory Hall?”

“Y-yes, that sounds-” Simeon felt around for his phone, then winced and looked into the fountain. His phone was lying at the bottom of the fountain… “Do you think you could call?”

MC perked up and planted a kiss on Simeon’s cheek. “Of course, we can cuddle in the car.”

“That sounds wonderful…”

Solomon

Solomon decided to text MC at two in the morning to ask them out. In his defence, he was up late making potions and didn’t notice what time it was.

“Hey MCMCMCMCMC-” “ITS TWO OCLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING.” “Wanna go on a date tmrw?” “…ok.” “🥳” “see you tomorrow, Solomon.” “Oh yea- that reminds me- look at this snail I saw yesterday.” “Effervescent.” “Marry me.”

Obviously super happy that MC said yes to the date, Solomon was newly rejuvenated and went back to making his potion. It was six in the morning when he realized that maybe he should have just quit while he was ahead and went back to sleep.

It was a little late for that! He needed to go to school, then go on the date. Solomon gracefully took MC’s hand, led them out of the school, then fell down the stairs.

It um… may have messed up his tailbone. Solomon never felt more like an old man than when he and MC sat down at the cafe for coffee and MC had to help him into his seat.

The coffee arrived, MC and Solomon drank it, and Solomon just sighed in relief. This was nice, time with his sweet MC…

The way they made him feel so completely at ease… that smile… those eyes… those eyes were looking very confused-

“Solomon…” “Yes my sweet?” “There’s uh… there’s a giant spider on your head…”

…Solomon looked up and the giant spider fell right into his drink. He wasn’t thirsty anymore.

A little later, he and MC were walking hand in hand through the park, the darkness of the Devildom was almost comforting as the fireflies and pixies created little balls of light that danced around the pair.

It was such a soothing sight to behold, Solomon and MC sat down beneath a giant tree. MC rested their head on his shoulder, and Solomon let out a content sigh. He was just going to rest his eyes for a moment…

Solomon was harshly shaken awake by MC who yelled at him for falling asleep in the presence of pixies. Solomon had completely forgotten that pixies like to possess sleeping people. That was probably why he was awoken in the middle of stuffing his face with cookies that were in his backpack.

The two unanimously decided that it would be best to head back to Purgatory Hall. When the two had just returned to civilization… Solomon heard thunder.

Quick as a flash, Solomon looped his arm around MC’s waist and pulled them closer, using his other hand to draw a circle above them, when the rain began to fall, the two were completely dry thanks to the shield.

“Ha… HA! HAHAHA!” Solomon pointed and laughed at the sky. “GOT YOU BITCH!”

“Solomon..?” MC asked tentatively. “Are you alright?”

The sorcerer looked at his dear sweet perfect MC, gave them a toothy smile, and shook his head. “No darling, I’ve been awake for 56 hours.”

“Wait what? You texted me at two in the morning, you couldn’t have been awake for more than an extra few hours..?”

Solomon peppered MC’s face with sleepy kisses as the rain pattered against the shield. “I have a weird life.”

“You know what, I buy it.” MC sighed fondly. “Do you want to go home and sleep?”

“More than anything, I’ll teleport us home!”

“NO! Let’s just call someone to pick us up!”

[latetaektalk]

after i left you | jjk

“when you decided to meet up with taehyung for dinner to reconnect, you didn’t expect to see jungkook, your ex, on a date with his current girlfriend and not to mention, end up fake dating taehyung.”

genre: exes! AU, fake dating! AU, enemies to lovers-ish! AU, unrequited feelings-ish! AU, angst, fluff

pairing: jungkook x female reader 

word count: 38.985 

warnings: cursing, reader feels very guilty in this one, alcohol consumption (nothing major/bad though)

playlist: happier - ed sheeran, just asking - aquilo, my tears ricochet - taylor swift, one last time please - dodie

a/n: uh, super nervous to post this because ive never written so much before, but i had a ton of fun and i hope you guys enjoy it! if you guys have any problems reading, liking or reblogging it, please let me know! im not sure if tumblr can handle such a word count, so id appreciate it if you guys would tell me if something doesnt work and ill figure it out! anyway, hope you guys enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing this!

The restaurant Taehyung picked was big but cozy. It was one huge room that stretched out further than your eyes could see. It was soaked in golden light, soaked in warmth and comfort. Everything was made out of wood, dark rich wood, and it smelled like home-cooked food. The smell wafted through the entire place. 

“‘Let’s all have dinner,’ they said, huh?” Taehyung said and looked around, no Yerim or Yoongi in sight. You laughed and shrugged.

“Yeah, sucks that they had to cancel last minute, but next time, we’ll be all together,” you said and skimmed the hard edges of the menu in your hands.

“Yeah, I know, but I thought we’d find the time once you returned,” Taehyung sighed and put down his menu with a frown.

“Definitely sucks,” you agreed and put down your menu as well. “But I’m happy that at least you and I could find the time.”

Taehyung and you smiled at each other and you could still barely believe it, could still barely believe that you were not only back in your hometown, but sitting in front of Taehyung and having dinner with him. It was all very surreal to you, and even though barely half an hour had passed since you had first seen Taehyung again in four years, things felt like they had never changed. There was no awkwardness, no long silences or weird tension between you. Both of you had simply picked up from where you left off. 

“Tell me, Y/N, how was America?” Taehyung asked and plopped his elbow onto the table before letting his chin fall into his open palm and tilting his head to the side. You mirrored him and let out a hum, the golden light pouring down both of your faces and bringing out the corners of your features.

Taehyung’s hair had grown out a lot since you had last seen him. In fact, it was permed now. And even though both of you had finished puberty by the time you had left, he seemed to have gotten a little taller. He had somehow grown into his face and turned into one gorgeous man with fluffy and luscious locks.

“Well, exhausting. I was always studying and pulling all-nighters, and it was so hard at times. The homesickness certainly didn’t make it any easier,” Taehyung smiled, “but it was- it was so worth it.”

“That’s great,” he said and you knew he meant it, knew he was genuinely happy for you. You beamed at him. “You really enjoyed it, didn’t you? America, I mean.”

“Yeah, it was- it was great, truly,” you said with a nod and remembered all of the memories you had made over the past four years. “It was really what I needed. Really the time of my life.”

Taehyung’s smile widened into a grin and you let your words sink in, sink in for him and for you as well. It was in the silence that you felt the guilt come back, hit you square in the face and leave you breathless.

You leaned back and grabbed the edge of the table. You lowered your head and Taehyung perked up, feeling the shift the moment it had happened.

“I’m sorry.”

Taehyung raised his brows at you and let his hand fall onto the table as he leaned forward, trying to see what you were apologising for.

“I- I feel bad,” you started up again and tucked a strand behind your ear. “It sounds like I didn’t enjoy being here and-”

“No, Y/N, don’t,” Taehyung reached over the table and grabbed your hand, taking it into his, “There’s no need to apologise. You worked your butt off to win that scholarship and fulfilled your dream. That’s great.”

“Yeah, but I abandoned you guys,” you mumbled and shrugged. You pulled away your hand, but Taehyung was quick to tighten his grasp, quick to put his other hand over yours and squeeze your hand. 

“Stop saying that, Y/N,” Taehyung shook his head at you, eyes drilling holes into your head as you continued to stare down at your lap, “You didn’t ‘abandon’ us. That’s bullshit and you know it.”

Taehyung pulled on your hand and waited for you to raise your head, and when you did and met his gaze, he offered you an even bigger grin than before.

“You don’t have to feel bad for going to America to go study,” he said and tilted his head to the side, bangs tickling his eyes. “We were and still are genuinely happy for you.”

“He wasn't.”

Taehyung’s hands tightened around yours at your words, and he pressed his lips into a thin line, giving you a look that had you shifting in your seat and shrugging in defense.

He hadn’t been happy for you at all when you had told him you had won a scholarship to go study in America. You had expected hugs and cheers, but received cold stares and bitter words instead. When the summer had neared its end and you had to leave, he hadn’t been there. Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi had all hugged and kissed you goodbye, had wished you the best, but he, the person you had wanted to be with you right now the most, had been by your side.

You were eighteen, barely an adult, when you had boarded the plane to America without him kissing your forehead and wishing you the best, and you never forgot that, forgot just how unhappy and miserable you had made him.

“He wasn’t,” you repeated like it excused your words in any way. Taehyung opened his mouth to launch into a speech, a speech you already knew by heart without having heard it a single time. 

“Y/N-”

“This place,” you started and pulled your hand away, gesturing around you. “It’s nice.”

Taehyung blinked at you, obviously contemplating whether or not to allow you to change the subject like that, and you were more than glad when he leaned back into his chair and nodded.

“Yeah, it opened recently,” he said with a smile and you smiled right back at him. Both of you shared a look for a moment and after many years of friendship, there was no need for words, no need for you to thank him for letting you off the hook like that.

“It’s so nice,” you repeated and you barely heard Taehyung’s laugh as you let your gaze wander, taking it all in.

Seemingly every table was filled, and everybody was in their own world. You could hear laughter and shrieks in between the conversations, and a smile stretched across your face. Your eyes softened at the sight of loving couples and you ignored the pulling in your chest, ignored the yearning for what they had sitting deep within you.

“I really like it here,” you said and Taehyung stuck out his chest a little. A smirk was painted on his lips and pride was glimmering in his eyes. You chuckled a little and let yourself sink into the chair before your gaze travelled through the room once more.

The restaurant seemed to be frequented by a lot of couples, and you understood why. This place reminded you of the restaurants Jungkook would take you to from time and time again to show you how much he appreciated you, one of those restaurants he had taken you to when he had confessed to you and told you he loved you for the first time.

“This is totally a place for him.”

You said it without meaning to, said it without thinking, and when your eyes locked with Taehyung’s, you both shared a knowing gaze. Panic wanted to flush through your chest—because was Taehyung going to circle back to your previous words?—but then, he smiled at you and nodded.

“Yeah, totally is. It’s his favourite restaurant actually,” Taehyung said and you weren’t surprised. “He dragged all of us out here on opening day.”

“Opening day?”

“Yeah, can you imagine this place on opening day? This place had been hyped up months before its opening. So, it was fucking insane when we got here. He almost got into two fistfights that day,” Taehyung laughed and sighed at the memory.

“The hostess couldn't find his reservation and he insisted that he had made one like months ago. Yeri literally had to talk him down. And when we finally got to our table, he almost fought Yoongs because he said he didn’t like it here,” Taehyung told you and shook his head with a grin plastered on his lips. “Can you believe?”

“Honestly?” You raised your brows and you didn’t answer your question because Taehyung and you exploded into more laughter. “Shit, he hasn’t changed at all, has he?” 

“He is dumber now,” Taehyung smiled and scrunched up his nose. “Definitely still an idiot.”

You nodded and this time when you both fell silent, there was no guilt building up inside of you, no coming back to the surface. 

“How is he?” you asked and Taehyung puckered his forehead. He tapped the table with his one hand while he ran his other one through his fluffy locks.

“He’s,” Taehyung hesitated and your heart stopped in your chest, but then you saw the smile pulling on the corners of his lips, “good.” Taehyung paused a moment before nodding. “He’s good. Recently finished up his studies and started his first job. He’s enjoying it.”

You smiled.

“That’s great. I’m happy for him.”

You meant it, meant it because he had deserved so much more, deserved better. When you had last seen him, he and you had been wrecks, crying and sobbing and angry messes, and it was great to hear that he wasn’t anymore, great to hear that he was doing better now. 

“Is he, you know, uh seeing-” you trailed off as the rest of the question got stuck between your teeth like chewing gum, but Taehyung knew what you wanted to ask. He gave you a look, a look you weren’t sure how to interpret. There seemed to be pity and almost sorry in his eyes.

“Yeah, he is.”

You expected that answer, expected it because someone as amazing and great and funny as he was more than desirable but it still hurt to hear. You couldn’t stop your chest from tightening and your heart from sinking a little deeper inside you, shrinking in itself. You wanted to tell yourself to stop, wanted to tell your heart to not be like that because you had no right to feel like that, had no right when you had been the one leaving him. 

He had every right to move on, had every right to forget about you and be happy with someone else. But your heart simply couldn’t help itself from clenching in your chest like you were the one that had been left behind and not him.

“Wait, where are you?”

Taehyung and you snapped your head around when the girl next to you suddenly spoke up, thinking both that she was talking to you. Neither of you had taken notice of her before or looked at her when the hostess had led you two to your table. Until now, she had been typing away on her phone, waiting in silence, but right now, she had her phone pressed against her ear, definitely talking a little too loudly.

“What do you mean you can’t find parking? There’s a huge parking lot right next to the restaurant.”

Taehyung and you locked eyes when it clicked with both of you that she was not talking to you two. You shared knowing looks, remembering the same thing.

“He never found parking either,” Taehyung mumbled and both of you leaned closer to one another, not wanting for the girl to hear that you had eavesdropped on her conversation. Smiles played on your lips and you snickered. 

You recalled the many times you had sat in his car and cursed at him for running another red light because you were late, again, because of him, recalled the many times you would sit in a restaurant on your own or in the mall, waiting for him with your phone pressed to your ear as he assured you over and over again that he had planned in time for traffic, but that it was just worse than ever before.

“And he always had his excuses,” you snorted and shook your head. “‘There was a fire, so I had to turn around and take this huge detour.’ I think there was a fire somewhere every other week.”

Taehyung laughed and grinned at you. “Oh, but I think ‘Someone dropped a bunch of mirrors on the road and when I tried to turn around, I couldn’t because there were a bunch of cars, so I had to wait until they cleaned up the road.’ is still my favourite.”

“Ugh, he’s such a drama queen, I swear,” you groaned and leaned back into your chair. 

“I have no idea how you dated him for most of high school. Like he’s so exhausting sometimes,” Taehyung mumbled and shook his head.

“Oh, you spent just as much time as I did with him,” you said with a roll of your eyes and Taehyung wiggled his finger at you.

“I didn’t date him though. There’s a difference,” he argued and you dismissed his words with a quick shake of your head before crossing your arms in front of your chest at a certain memory.

“Does he still insist on having his cucumbers diced and not sliced because sliced cucumbers don’t taste as good?” 

“Please, don’t remind me. Every time I think about that I want to stop being friends-”

“Wait, where are- oh, I can see you already,” the girl next to you said into her phone and Taehyung and you froze at her interruption. Both of you looked at each other and before either of you could get back to your conversation, you were interrupted once more.

“I’m so sorry, but I swear the traffic was just out of this world today.”

Your eyes grew wide at his voice and your heart plummeted into your stomach when you heard his voice. You recognised it immediately, would have recognised it even if you had been deaf. You could never not recognise it, could never forget his voice. Your heart thumped in your chest, thumped painfully, as you turned your head and your eyes landed on him and his eyes landed on you.

His lips parted the slightest bit as he looked at you, frozen, and he gripped the back of the chair as his brows furrowed together at your sight.

“Y/N?”

Your name slipped off his tongue and confusion etched onto his face. Hearing him say your name sent your heart into a frenzy, had the panic bulldoze you away and your brain short circuit. The world went silent, the conversations all around you faded away and left you in silence with him. Time seemed to stand still as he and you looked at each other, desperately trying to process what was happening right now.

“Jungkook.”

His name felt dry and heavy on your tongue, felt like cement, felt like something you had been wanting to say forever now, but had avoided saying because you knew you had lost the right to say it and therefore had never said it again, until now. Until now when he was standing wide-eyed in front of you.

“Wait, what’s happening right now?” 

The question barely registered with you as you continued to stare at Jungkook, continued to stare at the boy that had once meant the world to you, continued to stare at the boy that you once had the right to calling him your boyfriend, continued to stare at the boy that still had your heart in such a tight grip that he managed to send it into a frenzy and have panic pumping through your veins merely with his sight.

Jungkook had changed. Now, he was taller and stood out in this crowded restaurant, towered over every other guest. Jungkook demanded attention from everyone, from you, and you were willing to give it to him because how could you not?

His hair had grown out, was longer now than you had ever seen it before and you wanted to comment on his tattoos when you saw them, juxtaposing his golden and warm skin. From the day you had met Jungkook, he had been talking about all of the tattoos he had wanted to get once he was old enough, and you almost couldn’t believe that he had actually finally gotten some. You wondered if he had to go behind the back of his parents or if they gave him their approval since he was an adult now.

“Uhm, babe?”

It was the word ‘babe’ that had you snapping out of it, that had the world start turning again and the time unfreezing, conversations returning to their original volume. It was the word ‘babe’ that had your eyes tearing away from Jungkook and to the girl sitting next to you instead. Her brows were raised and her gaze was drilling into Jungkook’s as he slowly pulled himself together too.

For the first time, you actually looked at the girl, actually gave her some of your attention. Until now, she had just been the girl sitting at the table next to you, been the girl typing away on her phone, been the girl having a conversation a little too loudly, but now, she was the girl who had waited for Jungkook, was the girl who had called Jungkook ‘babe’.

Now, she was the girl who was seemingly Jungkook’s girlfriend.

Jungkook sank down in his chair, but the confusion never left his face. His eyes stayed on you before his gaze wandered to his left, meeting Taehyung’s. When he locked eyes with him, Jungkook’s whole face dropped once more, eyes growing bigger and wider than they were before.

“Taehyung?” Jungkook almost yelled and drew the attention of some people around you, but none of you could muster up the energy to give them an apologetic smile. 

“Hi, Kook,” Taehyung managed to cough out and filled the awkwardness and silence with it. Jungkook crashed against the back of his chair with a thud as he gazed into nothing, brain desperately trying to process this.

Taehyung and you exchanged glances, both of you not knowing what to do or to say. This wasn’t what either of you had prepared for. Both of you had only signed up to have a nice dinner and catch up while tiptoeing around the topic of Jungkook and you. You knew you were going to see him again because he was still friends with Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi and so were you, but you just hadn’t thought that you were going to see him today.

“Okay, uhm, babe, could you please explain to me what’s going on right now?” 

For the first time since he had arrived, Jungkook looked at the girl who was most definitely his girlfriend. His eyes were still wide when they met hers and there was a strained smile on her lips as she drilled her gaze into him, demanding some sort of answer from him, but he couldn’t deliver. He opened his mouth, but his throat felt scratchy and dry and so, he could only stare into nothing again.

“I- I need some water,” Jungkook managed to blurt out, reaching across the table to grab her glass of water and gulping it down like he hadn’t drunk something in years. He devoured it in seconds and stared at it with big eyes, mentally cursing at it for not holding more water for him to gulp down. 

Jungkook put down the glass, but he didn’t let go of it and instead held it, tightening his grip around it until his knuckles turned white.

“Okay, uh,” Jungkook started and massaged his temple as he screwed his eyes shut, fighting off the headache that made him think his skull was going to split open. 

“Uh, so,” Jungkook sighed and puckered his forehead before peeling his eyes open and gesturing towards Taehyung. “This is, uh, Taehyung. I- I’ve told you about him, babe, right?”

“Yeah, oh,” the girl next to you perked up and turned her gaze to Taehyung, offering him a genuine albeit tense smile. You couldn’t blame her, this was still very awkward.

“Yes, Taehyung. Hi! I’ve heard so much about you. I’ve been dying to meet you.” Taehyung forced a smile on his lips and it looked genuine, but having known him for so long, you could spot the difference right away. 

“I’m Heejin.”

Heejin.

A pretty name for an even prettier girl. It suited her, suited her to have such a beautiful sounding name. Of course, she did and you almost scoffed, scoffed because your name paled in comparison to hers. Hers had a pleasant ring to it, but yours just sounded off and wrong now. 

“Heejin, yeah, I’ve heard of you too.” Taehyung nodded and extended his hand. She took it and they both shook hands for a moment before she turned to you, her smile still tense, but the genuineness shimmered through.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I know-” Heejin trailed off and looked over to Jungkook for help, but he had his eyes locked with yours. And with that simple look, you knew.

He hadn’t told Heejin about you.

And judging from the way he was slightly shaking his head, he wasn’t planning on doing so just now. Taehyung and you understood immediately, but it had another dose of panic rushing through both of you.

“I’m Y/N,” you offered and extended your hand to Heejin like Taehyung had because this was the polite thing to do, the right thing to do, and for once in your life, you had to do the right thing regarding Jungkook.

“Hi, Y/N. Heejin,” she smiled, taking your hand into her perfectly soft one, and you made sure to smile at her too as you shook her hand. You smiled at her as much as one could smile at your ex’s current girlfriend. “It’s nice to meet you.”

No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t nice to meet Heejin, wasn’t nice at all. You wanted to shout it into her face, tell her you already hated her for simply existing and taking your place in Jungkook’s life and heart, but you swallowed all of the bitter and petty words, swallowed your anger aimed at her that was truly only anger at yourself, and nodded.

“Yeah, really nice to meet you, Heejin,” you said and let go of her hand, eyes turning to Taehyung instinctively. He offered you a smile, a smile that had your heart calming down a little, but then your eyes wandered to Jungkook and it sped up again. He sat up straighter and cleared his throat.

“Heejin, here- she’s, uh-” Jungkook stammered and the rest of his sentence refused to come out, leaving him with his mouth open and staring back at you.

“I’m his girlfriend,” Heejin finished with a smile and Jungkook and you locked eyes. It almost looked like he wanted to correct her with the way he sat up, with the way his back straightened out, but he didn’t. He didn’t correct Heejin because there was nothing to correct. And you knew that.

“Yeah, exactly, right,” Jungkook confirmed with a quiet voice and a nod. You tore your gaze away and looked around, looked around the room and stared at anything as long as it meant that you didn’t have to look at him, see him sitting across the girl who was his girlfriend.

You couldn’t bear the sight, couldn’t bear it to see Jungkook here with his girlfriend. You weren’t prepared for this, but you didn’t think that anything could have prepared you for this, for this bitter reality anyway.

“And, so, how do you all-” Heejin didn’t finish her sentence and gestured between all three of you instead. You shared a glance with Taehyung, asking him to say something because you couldn’t right now, couldn’t bring yourself to explain how you all knew each other.

“Uh, well, we all went to high school together. We were all friends back then,” Taehyung said and shifted in his chair to cover up the pitchiness of his voice. Heejin nodded at his words and looked between you all three once more before gesturing at all three of you again.

“Oh, okay, but why was Kook so shocked-”

“Well, it’s been a while since Kook and Y/N have seen each other, right?” Taehyung smiled and you could see the trembling corners of his lips. You nodded in confirmation because Jungkook was still somewhat stuck processing all of this.

“How come?”

“Well, I, uh,” you rubbed the back of your neck, “I moved away for college.”

You did. It wasn’t a lie, but it was also not the whole truth either because you moved to America and not to some neighbouring city that was half an hour away. Jungkook raised his brows at you and pursed his lips together, but you refused to look back at him, focusing instead on keeping the smile on your face for Heejin.

“Yeah, it was surprising for Kook to see Y/N, huh?” Taehyung asked and put his hand on his shoulder, and Jungkook looked at him before humming in confirmation and forcing a smile onto his lips.

“Surprising, for sure. Shocking, too.”

You folded your arms in front of your stomach and bit on your lip, trying to ignore the thudding of your heart ringing in your ears.

“Oh, so, this is like you guys reconnecting again?” Heejin asked and you begged her to stop asking any more questions, to stop trying to understand this because, fuck, this was only going to end badly. The truth was ugly and terrible and you didn’t want to face it, didn’t want to look it into the eye, couldn’t face it and look at it, at least not yet.

As much as you wanted to open your mouth and swiftly change the topic, the words were stuck to your tongue like gum stuck to the sole of a shoe. It was helpless.

“Wait, but why wasn’t Kook invited-”

“Well, actually, this isn’t us reconnecting again,” Taehyung interrupted and you turned your head to him. He placed his hand on the table and beckoned for yours, and too confused to use your own brain, you just put your hands into Taehyung’s. Bad decision as it turns out.

“This is actually a date.”

You almost pulled away your hand, but Taehyung was quick to hold onto it and tighten his grasp. Your heart was now beating out of your chest and you were sure everybody could hear it, were sure it was louder than the whole room.

“Y/N and I are dating.”

This time, you didn’t try to pull away your hand. This time, you actually did the opposite and tightened it. In fact, you tightened it so much that your knuckles turned white and Taehyung had to hold his breath to stop the groan from slipping.

“Right, yeah, boy and girlfriend. Super duper in love,” you croaked out with a tight smile before lowering your gaze. What else could you say? 

Jungkook drilled his eyes into your face. You could feel the holes he was staring into you right now, but you refused to look at him, refused to spare him a glance and possibly see his reaction to the revelation that Taehyung and you were supposedly dating. 

Even if it was a lie, an obvious lie, a lie that only needed to be told because Jungkook hadn’t told Heejin about you yet, it still knocked the breath out of Jungkook and had him bending over, still had his face etching into something else, into something unreadable.

“Wait, oh my God,” Heejin squeaked and her hand found her mouth as it split apart into a grin, covering it as her eyes flickered between Taehyung and you. “This is a date? Then-” 

Heejin turned to Jungkook with the most excited smile on her lips before whipping her head back to Taehyung and you.

“This is totally a double date then!”

The shock didn’t wear off for another five seconds, but when it did, you offered Heejin the most convincing smile you could muster up. Taehyung put his hand on yours when you tightened it around his other one a little too much, but you didn’t let go.

There was no way out, no revealing this was all a lie anymore and he was to blame. He was the one that had started it and dragged you along.

“I guess,” you said through a tight smile.

The scruffing and scraping of Jungkook’s chair against the hardwood floor when he got up rang loud, painfully loud in your ears and you cringed. He held up the glass of water and only looked at Heejin, but somehow you knew his words were meant to shoot through your heart.

“I’m gonna get you some water, babe.”

There was just something about the summer evening air that always managed to relax you, managed to calm you down and ground you again. 

The warm breeze blew through your hair and filled your lungs with much-needed oxygen, oxygen you had been craving for since you had first seen Jungkook again. He had taken your breath away, stolen it and left you dealing with the agony and pain with finding it again as you desperately tried not to suffocate.

The last hour had flown by you, had passed you in a blur. As much as you tried to, you couldn’t recall what you had talked about, couldn’t even recall what you had ordered and what your dish had tasted like. Everything was so hazy. The only thing you knew for sure was that it had taken Jungkook far too long to fill up a glass of water and that when he had finally returned, there was a glass of water in his one hand and a glass of whiskey in his other one.

At one point, you had gotten up with an excuse of needing to make a call and before anyone could protest, you had fled out of the restaurant. You did contemplate taking a cab and going home, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to unlock your phone—not to mention, leave without a word.

Going inside was just as difficult though, so you stayed outside, and simply let the view dawn on you. Because a restaurant like this, of course, had to be located on a small hill that overlooked the city, had to have the most gorgeous view.

Your hometown wasn’t magical, wasn’t pretty at all, but with the sun slowly dipping below the horizon, the warm sunshine turned the cracked streets into golden rivers and the lines and lines of cars waiting at the red lights into boats. The street lamps decorating the cracked streets resembled fireflies, buzzing and bright.

For a moment, you forgot, forgot about the world around you, forgot about the tension poisoning the air inside the restaurant and making every breath more and more unbearable and deadly, forgot about the web of lies you were slowly sinking into, forgot about the aching of your heart every time you looked at Jungkook.

For a moment, you forgot that Jungkook and you weren’t dating anymore.

“You’re dating Tae now?”

You jerked around at the question, eyes finding him instinctively. Your breath hitched in your throat and you opened your mouth to answer, but no sound would escape you.

Jungkook stood there, a few metres away from you, with his hands in his pockets and his head tilted to the side, and, God, was he just gorgeous, so breathtakingly gorgeous, beautiful, pretty.

Even though his tone was light and almost playful, his face was hard. Jungkook looked at you for another moment before his gaze wandered to the view in front of him. His eyes were cold, cold enough to turn the golden rivers into ice, cold enough to freeze the boats, cold enough to kill the fireflies.

“You know I’m not. He just panicked. Tae’s always been a shit liar,” you chuckled, trying to lighten the situation and cut down on some of the tension, unfreeze the world, but you fell short and failed miserably. Jungkook let a smile pull on the corners of his lips, but it was gone within a second.

You were frozen when he started closing the distance between you two. When he finally stopped next to you, there was a noticeable gap between you, a gap big enough to have your heart wrenching and twisting in your chest. 

Fuck, this was what Jungkook and you had become, huh? Two people that couldn’t even stand close enough to each other without that awkward and horrible gap between you.

There used to be a time when there was no gap, no space, used to be a time when you were always in each other’s arms, used to be a time when the air wasn’t cold and the world frozen. But there also used to be a time where you two could only smile and grin at the other, used to be a time where there were no hardened faces and cold gazes.

There used to be a time that was just Jungkook and you together.

“Yeah, that’s a fucking mess,” Jungkook laughed humorlessly and you didn’t join him, didn’t try to. “How are we gonna fix that?”

“I don’t think we need to,” you said with a frown and turned to him for a moment, but he didn’t reciprocate your gaze. You got the message and turned to face the city again, looking out like you hadn’t been doing that for the past minutes.

“I doubt we’re gonna see each other again, right? I mean-” you trailed off and shrugged, rocking on the balls of your feet as you struggled to finish your sentence.

“I mean, I would like to if that was okay and fine with you, if you’re ready for that, but I understand if you’re not.”

Jungkook turned to you, blinking at you for a second before ultimately turning away and looking out again.

“Yeah, no, you’re right,” he chuckled dryly and you thought you could even hear a scoff. “Are you going back? Leaving to continue your adventure? Is this just a pit stop before you’re off to continue your adventure?”

The words stung, cut into you and your heart clenched at them. A cold breeze blew through you, gutted you, and you were left shivering and with goosebumps covering your entire body. Your throat knotted into a mess, and you wanted to look at Jungkook, see his expression, but you trained your gaze on your frozen hometown, trained your gaze on it like it didn’t shatter your heart to see it like that.

Jungkook had every right, every right to be bitter and cold, but it didn’t mean it hurt you any less for him to treat you like that, treat you like you hadn’t been each other’s worlds at one point of your life.

“No.” You shook your head, desperately trying to rid your voice of its trembling. “I- I’m staying.”

Jungkook didn’t say anything, didn’t respond, didn’t even react in the slightest way. You thought maybe he hadn’t heard you, but when you dared to peek at him, you saw the way the lines of his face had deepened. He had heard you, loud and clear.

You both drowned in the silence, sank into it, deeper and deeper with each second, and you crossed your arms in front of your chest, tightening with each passing moment.

“Did you stay in touch with the others? Yoongs? Yeri?” 

You shifted on your feet and tucked a strand behind your ear. “No- I mean, we tried, but after like a year or two, we slowly lost contact with each other. We did check on each other every couple months and texted every now and then, but we- we did definitely drift apart.”

“I guess then they were meant to come too, right? Tonight?” 

“Yeah, they were, but they had to drop out last minute. We, uh, always said we were gonna have dinner once I returned,” you mumbled and Jungkook hummed at that, nodding a little. Both of you stayed silent for a while, and even though you wanted to say something, cut into the silence because it allowed you to think and right now, you didn’t want to think, you couldn’t come up with anything to say.

“How long have you been back?”

Your gaze wandered to your feet and you kicked the dirt a little, digging into it with the tip of your shoe.

“Uh, I got back a little over a week ago,” you whispered into the air and tightened your arms around your chest. Jungkook nodded, but he didn’t look at you.

“Why are you back?” Jungkook asked and when you struggled to answer his question, he scoffed. Your silence was telling, said more than you ever could. 

“You came back for a job, didn’t you?”

You didn’t reply, didn’t tell him you hadn’t come back just for a job, but because you had missed home, had missed your family, had missed Taehyung, Yerim, Yoongi and more importantly, had terribly missed him. You had missed everything and everyone here so much you couldn’t even put it into words, but you said none of that, didn’t correct Jungkook.

The wind blew through your hair and the once warm breeze that had filled your lungs with the oxygen you so desperately needed filled your lungs now with sharp and piercing icicles this time. You hugged yourself more, tighter. You tried to warm yourself up, but no amount of hugging yourself was enough to melt the ice in your lungs.

“What are you, uh, doing out here?” you asked and turned a little to Jungkook, eyeing him with a raised brow, but he didn’t reciprocate your gaze this time either.

“Heejin’s cold,” Jungkook answered after a beat of silence, brows knitting together as he kept his focus in front of him. “I’ve got a jacket in my car.”

You hummed and a small smile made its way onto your lips. You totally got it. You were cold too, freezing, in fact, but there was no jacket for you, no Jungkook running out for you to get it and warm you up.

“You still got a whole closet in the back of your car, don’t you?” you asked with a slight smile, trying to lighten the mood, but when you turned to Jungkook, your smile fell off.

Instead of flushing red in embarrassment or laughing because of how well you still knew him after all these years, Jungkook stared into your eyes, harsh lines etched onto his face. It wasn’t the kind of stare that had your heart thumping and your throat constricting and kaleidoscopes of butterflies in your stomach flying. No, it was a piercing kind of stare, the kind that had your breath hitching in your throat in the worst way possible and your heart sinking into your stomach.

“Don’t.”

The message was loud and clear, delivered with one simple word, but it was enough, enough for it to click in your mind. You didn’t try to catch your heart as it sank deeper and deeper inside you, as it sank down to the ground and came closer and closer to shattering into tiny little pieces that would take you ages to glue together again.

You opened your mouth to say something, but your tongue was a mess in it and the words sat deep in your stomach. It took you two more tries, two more times of you opening and closing your mouth for you to finally unknot your tongue and drag the words to the surface.

“You haven’t forgiven me, have you?”

You worded it like a question, but you knew the answer. It was written all across Jungkook’s face, surrounding him the moment you and he had locked eyes, spilling from his mouth every time he opened it.

Jungkook’s lips tightened into a hard line and his jaw locked up as he eyed you before ripping his gaze away to stare off into the sky and scoff quietly into the air. His hands balled up into fists at his side and his Adam’s apple bopped up and down as he desperately tried to keep his composure. 

You had seen all of this before, had watched him try and fail not to punch the air and let his anger out. Jungkook had done the exact same thing, had made the same face after you had told him you were going to America.

You expected him to blow up in your face, to explode, to burst at all of his seams and rip apart and scream, yell, curse at you because that was what he had done, what he had done the last time, but to your surprise, Jungkook didn’t, didn’t do any of the things you had expected him to.

“Fours years,” Jungkook scoffed, holding up four fingers like you didn’t know just how much four was. “We dated for almost four fucking years.”

You bit on your tongue, heart tumbling and rumbling in your chest like it was about to burst out and fall to her knees and beg for Jungkook’s forgiveness.

“And you left,” Jungkook continued, anger dripping from his words, but his voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “Just like that.” 

He snapped his finger and you cringed at the sound. It rang in your ears, pierced through your eardrums.

“Remember our promise?” Jungkook asked you and you could hear his voice wavering and shaking. “Remember our promise of forever?”

You wanted to tell him that you did, that, of course, you fucking remembered your promise of forever. It had haunted you, kept you awake every night, eaten you up and chewed you out every morning and kicked you to the floor every time it slipped your mind the tiniest bit.

“You know how people say that you always learn something from a relationship?” Jungkook asked you and you wanted to beg him not to, not to continue. You couldn’t handle this, couldn’t handle this much longer and you weren’t sure just how long you could keep it together.

“The only thing you taught me was that people are selfish.”

You were sure that you were drawing blood from your tongue now, were sure that your heart was on her knees now and begging, begging for Jungkook to just please forgive her. You thought that was it, thought he was going to scoff at you and walk away, but Jungkook wasn’t quite done.

“I really do hope that you’re right and we won’t see each other again after this.”

If you thought that Jungkook’s eyes were cold before, they were icy and freezing now. They were icy and freezing enough to bring in the new ice age, icy and freezing enough to stop time. Your lungs were shredded by the icicles, ripped apart by them like they were paper, and your heart shattered on the frozen ground, turning into dust before ultimately being dragged away by the wind and into Jungkook’s hands. And he crushed it, crushed the tiny pieces of your heart into powder.

There was no repairing anymore, no glueing the pieces together because there was nothing to repair or glue together or fix in any way or form.

Jungkook didn’t say another word, didn’t spare you a single glance when he turned on his heel and walked away, walked away with your pulverised heart on the ground and your world cold and frozen. The golden rivers didn’t burst through the ice, the boats didn’t unfreeze and start sailing again, the fireflies didn’t come back to life.

It stayed, lingered.

Your world took its time to come back, and you watched it, watched it slowly resemble what it once had been before Jungkook. When you looked at it, however, it wasn’t quite the same. The golden rivers weren’t rivers, but only weak streams, and the boats had shrunk into simple rafts. The fireflies were only humming now, barely illuminating their surroundings.

And this time, when you looked down, you didn’t forget, didn’t forget about the world around you, didn’t forget about the aching of your heart every time you looked at Jungkook.

This time, you didn’t forget that Jungkook and you weren’t dating anymore.

This time, you almost suffocated.

By the time you had reached your table, you slumped into your chair, falling into it with wobbly knees, defeated and panting. Taehyung and Heejin were too wrapped up in a conversation to really take notice and Jungkook, well, Jungkook did the thing he had grown to excel this evening, staring into nothing.

There was a jacket around Heejin’s shoulders, hugging her form and it took you one single glance to know. One glance was enough to prompt you to reach for your glass of wine and down it. The wine burned your tongue and your throat on its way down, and it was what you needed.

Because the jacket wasn’t just any jacket. It was the jacket you had bought for Jungkook with the money you had gotten for your 17th birthday, was the jacket he had called his favourite, was the jacket you had worn as much as he had, was the jacket both of you had used as a blanket when you had held a film marathon the day before school started again, was the jacket you had worn when you had told him you were going and he had demanded back from you.

And now, Heejin was wearing that jacket.

“You okay, sweetie?” 

You looked up and stared straight into Taehyung’s face. His brows were raised and you could feel Heejin’s eyes on you too. And you almost frowned at him and questioned the ‘sweetie’, but then it hit you again. You were dating Taehyung.

“Yeah, uh, I just had a shitty phone call,” you dismissed quickly with a wave of your hand, realising that you definitely shouldn’t have one-shotted your wine like that. “It’s fine. I’m just a little tired from talking.”

Heejin nodded at your words and seemed happy with the answer, but Taehyung’s eyes stayed on you for a few more seconds. He could read between the lines, could piece together what had happened outside.

“What were you talking about?” you asked, gaze finding Heejin because looking at her was easier than looking at Taehyung. 

“Oh,” Heejin placed her hands on your armrest and a frown settled on her face, “we were talking about films. Did you know that Taehyung has never watched ‘Titanic’ before?”

Your eyes wandered to Taehyung who had put on a smile and was shaking his head at Heejin’s words, but you could see that he wanted to question you, ask you what had happened outside.

“You haven’t?” you asked, trying to change the subject from you to him.

“The only film I haven’t watched yet.”

“Can you believe?” Heejin said it like it was a big deal and to her, it seemed to be. Her mouth was slightly agape and her eyes were blown out as she looked at you, obviously expecting for you to react the same way, thinking you were going to be as appalled as she was by the fact that Taehyung had yet to watch ‘Titanic’.

Maybe if you were in a better mood or maybe if Jungkook wasn’t sitting literally an arm’s reach from you or maybe if Heejin wasn’t his current girlfriend right now, you would play along, act appalled and criticise Taehyung for never having watched ‘Titanic’, call him a film illiterate even though you haven’t watched it yourself yet.

“I mean, I’ve also never-”

“Do not finish that sentence, Y/N,” Heejin cut in and while everything was in good fun, you couldn’t help but feel miffed and weirded out by her words. You two didn’t know each other and acting like you did was, well, weird to say the least.

But Heejin didn’t pick up on your tightening smile and slight raise of your brows, too busy acting appalled to notice any of that.

“Okay, that’s it. It’s decided.” Heejin clapped into her hands and looked at Jungkook to grab his attention. “I’m hosting a film night at my place next week. I can’t walk this Earth knowing that you two have never seen the masterpiece that is ‘Titanic’. It’s a must, a cult classic.”

Your eyes locked with Taehyung’s first and he had the same panicked look on his face before he turned to Jungkook, but you avoided his general direction, not wanting to look at him.

“Wait, no, babe, you can’t just host a film night,” Jungkook jumped to argue with Heejin and you swallowed.

“I really do hope you’re right and we won’t see each other again after this.”

“Why not?” Heejin asked with a tilt of her head and blinked at Jungkook as he stammered for a reason.

“Because- you just can’t. That’s not how this works.” A deep line formed between Jungkook’s brows and Heejin as she frowned at his unconvincing argument.

“What do you mean it’s not how this works? If you wanna host a film night, you ask people if they are down for it and host it. I just did that.”

Taehyung and you looked at each other, both deciding to stay silent. Not only was this the most that Jungkook had contributed to this ‘double date’ so far (without counting your conversation you had had with him outside, of course), but it didn’t seem like either of your places to chime in.

“No, babe, you announced you were going to have a film night and essentially demanded them to be there,” Jungkook said and Taehyung and you shared another glance. Heejin furrowed her brows and a pout formed on her lips. She wasn’t taking this nearly as serious as Jungkook was, but it seemed to dawn on her that he was.

“I don’t see where the problem is, babe. I thought you guys were all friends. Isn’t a film night a great way to reconnect then?”

Jungkook opened his mouth to argue against her, but he couldn’t come up with something to say. He wanted to tell Heejin that reconnecting with you was at the bottom of his list of things he wanted to do right now, wanted to tell her that you weren’t just an old friend of his, but his first love, the girl who had meant the world to him for years, the girl who had taken his heart and kept it before deciding it and he simply weren’t enough and shattering his heart, breaking it into dust and leaving him having to pick up the pieces again. 

You were the girl who had haunted him every hour of the day ever since you had left.

“Isn’t it great that we found a couple that’s cool and our age? We can do so much stuff together. Also, Taehyung did say you were all friends once, right? And Taehyung here is still your friend. I really don’t see the problem here. Am I missing something?”

And again, Jungkook was left processing Heejin’s words, prompting Taehyung to jump in.

“Yeah, no, we were friends and, yeah, Kook and I still are friends.” A nervous smile played on his lips as Taehyung shot you a glance, a glance you could barely meet. There was a moment where Heejin was just waiting for any of you to say something, a moment where neither Jungkook nor you met his gaze. It was at that moment that Taehyung made the decision.

“Next week you said?”

By the time you finally step out of the restaurant, the sun had made its way back home and fallen asleep, leaving the golden stream and rafts and fireflies to the moon. 

“Y/N!” You turned around at the call of your name and watched Heejin jogging towards you, hands reaching for your wrists. “Next week, right? Promise me. Next week.”

She smiled right into your face, smiled one of those genuine and big and beautiful smiles, one of those smiles that could charm anybody, and that included you.

“Yeah, next week,” you said and nodded. Heejin’s hands squeezed your wrists and her lips split apart into a grin. With a quick turn of her heel, she was facing Jungkook, who had come to a stop behind her with Taehyung to his left.

“Oh, it’s gonna be great,” she cheered and took hold of Jungkook’s hands now, squeezing as she jumped around him. The displeased look, which had etched onto his face when Heejin had declared this to be a double date and deepened when Taehyung agreed to the film night, slipped away. 

Jungkook couldn’t resist her, couldn’t resist Heejin and for the first time in four years, you saw a smile spread across his lips.

Fuck.

“This was great,” Taehyung cut in before Jungkook could lean in for a quick kiss because he always did, always leaned in for a quick kiss whenever his heart pounded a little too much in his chest, and it definitely did, definitely did pound a little too much just now.

Jungkook and Heejin looked at Taehyung and once again, you froze up when he took your hand into his. The fact that you two were dating slipped your mind again and again throughout the night.

“Yeah, definitely was,” Heejin agreed and interlaced her fingers with Jungkook’s, but unlike with Taehyung and you, it was normal for them to hold hands, second nature. “Right?”

She nudged Jungkook with her elbow and he looked at Heejin, looked at her like he wanted to disagree. Maybe it was because it was rude to disagree and say that one hated the night or maybe it was because Jungkook’s heart melted in his chest seeing Heejin looking at him like that, but a second smile found its way onto Jungkook���s lips.

“Sure was.”

Jungkook said it looking at Heejin, gazing into her sparkling eyes, and you wanted to look away, but you couldn’t, couldn’t because they were like a car accident, but the most beautiful and at the same time, ugliest and most painful car accident this world had ever seen. 

Heejin and Jungkook were in love, in love with each other.

“Right, definitely,” Taehyung cut in, breaking up Heejin and Jungkook as he drew everybody’s attention to him. You squeezed his hand a little tighter.

“We’ll text, yeah?” Taehyung continued and Heejin nodded at his words, beaming as she let go of Jungkook’s hand. You wanted to grab her by her shoulders and tell her not to, not to ever let Jungkook go, but then you realised that she wasn’t actually letting go of him, wasn’t letting go of him the way you had let go of him.

Heejin stretched out her arms and wrapped Taehyung into a hug, a hug he reciprocated without letting go of your hand, which led to you kind of hugging Heejin too. 

“Goodbye, Tae. It was so nice to have met you,” she said into his ear before turning to you and wrapping you into her arms. “So, so nice to have met you, too, Y/N.”

You also didn’t let go of Taehyung’s hand and neither did he when Jungkook leaned in for the hug. 

“Yeah, nice to have met you, too,” you breathed out, quiet, but it was enough for Heejin to pat you on your back and let go.

“We’ll text,” Heejin said as she stepped back to make space for Jungkook to hug you. He and you locked eyes, both knowing exactly what Heejin was expecting of you two. 

There was this terrible moment of hesitance, and you were ready to throw up a hand and give Jungkook a simple wave, but he leaned forward and stretched out one arm. You leaned forward too with your feet planted metres away from him, which led to a rather awkward half-hug thing, but it was definitely more than both of you could offer, more than anyone could really ask for.

Jungkook patted your back two times, and you frowned because who patted someone’s back twice and only twice? The ‘hug’ didn’t last longer than a second before both of you jumped away from each other.

“That was so awkward,” Heejin chortled and threw her head back, loud and beautiful laughter resounding in the air. Jungkook’s cheeks did what they should have done when you had commented on how he had a whole closet in the back of his car: flush.

“Whatever. We’re old friends, remember?” Jungkook argued and it was definitely the sight of Heejin laughing that had him do what he, again, should have done when you had commented on how he had a whole closet in the back of his car: laugh.

“Anyway, we’ll see each other,” Jungkook mumbled into your general direction before taking Heejin’s hand into his and leading her away from you two, throwing up his hand for a wave. Heejin beamed at Taehyung and you and you mustered up the best and most convincing smile for the last time this night.

“Bye. We’ll be in touch.”

“Bye.”

You didn’t say ‘bye’, too focused on the way Jungkook fixed the jacket that was slipping off Heejin’s shoulders, and when it almost landed in the dirt, your heart dropped. You wanted to catch it, take it and hold it close to your heart because that was your jacket. Jungkook caught it though just in time and you let out a breath.

“Really squeezing my hand here, huh?” Taehyung pressed through his smile and you looked down at your hands, realising only now that your knuckles had turned white. Immediately, you let go.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, face flushing hot. Taehyung simply dismissed it with a smile, but you could see him lightly knead his hand, stretching it to get the blood circulating again.

“It’s fine.” Taehyung tilted his head at you. “I guess you don’t have a car yet, right?” You were about to respond, but he didn’t give you enough time. “I can give you a ride.”

“Yeah, that would be great.” You nodded and Taehyung and you made your way to the parking lot. He held the car door open for you and when you were both strapped into your seats, you turned to him. “You didn’t have anything to drink, right?”

“Nope, been sipping on my water the whole night,” he chuckled as he put the keys into the ignition, slowly pulling out of the parking lot. You nodded and sank a little into the seat. The tension that had been sitting in your shoulders and in every single one of your joints slowly escaped you and you let out a sigh.

You typed your address into Taehyung’s phone, Google Maps doing the rest, and for a few minutes, both of you simply drove in silence, enjoyed it. The night had been hard on both of you, and you two were definitely ready to jump into your beds and go to sleep. The silence was exactly what you needed right now, at least you thought that was what you both needed.

“What happened outside?”

You should have expected him to ask because, of course, he would, but it still had you turning your head to him and eyes growing wide. Taehyung met your gaze and you put your hands together in your lap, thumbs rubbing against one another.

“Well,” your feet pressed into the ground, “he, uh, asked me if I was gonna stay here and if we all kept in touch. And,” your voice quivered only the tiniest bit, but Taehyung noticed, “how long I’ve been back and everything.”

You shrugged. “The basic things, you know. Nothing special.”

Taehyung hummed and his brows furrowed together with his lips pulled into a thin line. He was clearly not believing you completely, not buying what you were selling him. You pressed harder against the ground, begging for it to give in and let you sink into a hole.

“Anything else?”

Lying was stupid, lying to Taehyung was even stupider, but you seemed to like to be stupid today.

“Nope.” You said the last syllable with a pop and it had Taehyung’s frown deepening and his gaze digging into you when you two stopped at a red light. 

“Y/N.” A sigh followed and you lowered your gaze before shaking your head as your teeth sank into your tongue.

“Fine,” you breathed out and slammed back, head hitting your seat definitely too hard. “We- well, he-”

Taehyung turned to you, but you stared out the window, realising that you were almost at home now. His eyes dug into your face and you sighed, thinking of a way to word all of this.

“We- technically, we didn’t talk much at all. At least I didn’t,” you started again and took your time to get it all together. “But- he did say that he,” a heavy sigh slipped past your lips and you gnawed on your tongue before deciding to just say it, “learned from our relationship that people are selfish and that he hoped he would never have to see me again after this.”

Taehyung was stunned, stunned silent and you wished he would say something, react in some way. The tension came rising back, stretching every one of your joints to the point it hurt.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Taehyung muttered underneath his breath and when you turned to him, there was anger etched onto every line of his face. It was burning in his eyes and it had you quickly jump to Jungkook’s defense.

“No- it’s fine. I get-”

“No, Y/N, it’s not fucking fine,” Taehyung interrupted and to your dismay, you had reached your front door. He parked rather smoothly and when you came to a stop, Taehyung turned to you.

“Don’t say it’s fine because we both know it’s not,” Taehyung said and you didn’t meet his eyes. “It’s rude, unnecessarily rude. I get it. He’s pissed and you hurt him and whatever, but it’s been four fucking years. And he’s literally the one that broke up with you-”

“Well, I was leaving for America-”

“But you wanted to try, right? You didn’t want to break up, right?” Taehyung asked and you didn’t say anything. “See! You wanted to try, but he refused. Don’t even get me started on the fact that he didn’t say goodbye to you at all. You go to America and he doesn’t even bother to show up at the airport after dating you for almost four years, not to mention text you or call you on the day to wish you well? I haven’t forgotten that bullshit yet.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line and lowered your gaze.

Taehyung sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I still love him. He’s my friend after all, and it’s not like I don’t get it why he’s mad. I do, in a way, and not because I ‘hate’,” Taehyung made air quotes around the word hate, “you for going or anything, but because it was surprising. But still saying shit like that is not okay.”

“It’s fine,” you tried again, but your words seem to have the fire in Taehyung growing because he shook his head vigorously.

“Stop saying that! It’s not.” Taehyung paused, taking a moment to breathe. “It’s definitely not. He’s so-” Taehyung threw up his hands and pressed his lips into a hard line, words failing him as his anger consumed him more and more. 

“We all thought he was over it.”

“He isn’t,” you mumbled and Taehyung ‘duh’s your answer, realising himself that Jungkook was far, very far from getting over you leaving, not to mention forgive you in any shape or form.

Both of you sat in silence for a while and your fingers itched for the door handle. You hated this, hated this because Taehyung didn’t get that you were fine, didn’t get that you were fine with the way Jungkook treated you because you had fucked up and now, these were the consequences.

“You don’t have to do this.”

You kept staring out of the window, kept staring like you couldn’t feel Taehyung’s eyes dig into your profile and demand for you to look at him, kept staring like you couldn’t hear him.

“There’s no one forcing you to go next week. You could just simply-”

“I know,” you said and sighed. You leaned forward and covered your eyes, pressing on them slightly as you thought of everything that had happened today, thought of every little interaction you had shared with Jungkook.

“I know,” you muttered before looking up and turning your gaze to Taehyung, cheek falling into your open palm. “I know.”

Taehyung and you looked at each other for a few seconds.

“You’re still gonna go, huh?”

You sat up straight and unbuckled your seatbelt, arms stretching out to pull Taehyung into a hug. He reciprocated it and you tightened your arms around him a little more than you usually would, chin resting on his shoulder.

“You’re still great, Tae.”

Taehyung chuckled and patted your back, sinking deeper into the hug. You were the one to pull away, but you rested your hands on his shoulder and looked him dead in the eye.

“No, really,” you smiled and squeezed his shoulders. “You’re really great, Taehyung.”

Slightly embarrassed by your words, Taehyung looked down at his hands.

“You’re stupid, Y/N.”

You laughed.

When you came out of the shower that night and checked your phone, a frown etched onto your face.

[You’ve been added to the “DD” group chat]

[Unknown Number - 11:24 PM] : hi! it’s heejin here and I just wanted to ask if next saturday works for everyone!!

[Unknown Number sent in location]

[Unknown Number - 11:24 PM] : my address!

[tae - 11:27 PM] : uh DD?

[Unknown Number - 11:27 PM] : double date. couldnt think of anything else realy

[tae - 11:27 PM] : okay lol but yeah should work

[Unknown Number - 11:32 PM] : yeah, think I can make it too

[Unknown Number - 11:32 PM] : okay, great! only gotta wait for y/n’s answer now

[tae - 11:32 PM] : wouldnt expect an answer any time soon lmao shes too stupid to text

[You - 11:48 PM] : you take a shower once and immediately people talk shit about you :)) 

[You - 11:48 PM] : but should work for me too

[tae - 11:48 PM] : love you too sweetie! and goodnight!!

[You - 11:48 PM] : :))))

When you went to save Heejin’s number, you got distracted by her profile picture. She was smiling right into the camera, smiling the same smile she had smiled at you. It was almost scary how genuine her smile looked even through a simple picture. No one smiled like Heejin. 

Her number was saved rather quickly, but when you went and clicked on Jungkook’s number, you were, once again, distracted by his profile picture. You should have expected it for Jungkook to have Heejin and him together as his profile picture, but it still shocked and surprised you, had your lips pressing into a hard line.

Jungkook had his arm around Heejin and she was looking at him, mid-laugh There was a proud smirk on his lips, that proud smirk he got whenever he managed to make someone laugh. Both looked at each other and the sun brought out both of their eyes, brought out the love in them. You could practically see it glimmering in their pupils.

Your heart tumbled in your chest, tumbled in the most painful way possible, but you ignored it, ignored it because what else were you going to do? Complain? You had no right to.

And as you let your phone slip into your pocket, a certain thought planted itself into your mind, robbing you of the peace and quiet you thought you would get once you were at home. The roots dug deeper and deeper into you until it was ingrained in you, swimming through your blood and consuming you whole, chewing you up over and over again simply to spit you out.

You would have been Heejin if you hadn’t left.

“What is she like?”

There was a beat of silence for a moment and you hugged your knees you had pulled close to your body self a little tighter at the question.

Your phone was laying on your desk, speakers on.

“Well,” Taehyung sighed, “she’s- she’s nice, I guess.”

Taehyung said it like a question, clearly choosing his words carefully as he tried not to offend you in any way, and you almost smiled at that. 

“Yeah, she’s nice,” you agreed.

“That’s great,” Yerim started, uncertainty swinging in her words. “Right? That’s great that she’s nice, right?”

No one answered and after a while, you pressed your lips into a thin line and nodded.

“Yeah, it’s great,” you said and you could hear Yerim exhale in relief. You chewed on your lip, and tried not to think about how it was not great and that you hated that Heejin was nice because it made hating her so much more difficult.

“I’m happy for him.”

This time when you said it, you weren’t sure if you really meant it, weren’t sure if you could say it from the bottom of your heart. Jungkook still, of course, deserved so much more, deserved better, but the thought that he was doing so much better with Heejin left a bad and bitter taste on your tongue. You didn’t want to think or feel like that, but your heart was selfish, just like he had said.

“That’s nice,” Yoongi mumbled and his voice was muffled, but the familiar snarky tone came through perfectly. “Nice of you to lie like that.”

You bit down on your lip and buried your face into your knees.

“Dude,” Taehyung said and used ‘dude’ like he always did whenever he was getting mad and refused to use one’s name. 

“What? We all know it’s a lie,” Yoongi said, matter of factly. “It’s not bad. It’s commendable that Y/N’s trying, but let’s not act dumb and oblivious to it.”

“Yoongi,” Yerim sighed from the other side of the line, groaning. “You can’t just say something like that.”

“We were all thinking it.”

You pressed your face further into your knees, squeezing your eyes shut as you hugged your legs closer to your chest.

“Dude,” Taehyung warned again, voice dropping significantly, and you could picture Yoongi rolling his eyes at him before sitting up to defend himself.

“All I’m trying to say is that it’s stupid to lie and pretend that it doesn’t suck that Kook is with Heejil or whatever her name-”

“Heejin,” Yerim threw in and there was a beat of silence before Yoongi continued again.

“Okay, fine, Heejin, but it doesn’t really matter,” Yoongi paused and the silence that settled was deafening and you begged him to continue. “What matters is the fact that Y/N shouldn’t need to pretend to be happy for him. They both hurt each other and acting like Y/N only hurt him is so fucking stupid. Kook’s really gotta learn how to be civil and not act like a complete ass-”

“Tae!” You cut in and looked at your phone like he could see you. “You told them? I thought we agreed on leaving that out.”

“Please, you seriously didn’t think I wouldn’t tell the others, did you?” Taehyung scoffed and you huffed, brows furrowing together as you fixed your phone with a glare like it was to blame for this.

“And I’m happy that he did tell us, Y/N,” Yoongi said and you groaned, burying your face once more into your knees now. “You don’t deserve to be treated like that. I get it that Kook’s mad because it was all very sudden and quick and you were his first love or whatever, but it’s not a reason to be an ass to you.”

You didn’t respond, and for a while, the silence lingered on. It was almost unbearable, but you couldn’t think of anything to say, knowing already you were going to be shut down anyway.

“You don’t have to do this,” Yoongi said and sounded exactly like Taehyung. You looked up and put your chin on top of your knee before closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.

“Yeri?”

There was a shuffle and a moment later it was followed by a sigh. “No, I do agree with the others. Kook can be mad and everything—we all get it in a way—but it’s not an excuse to be an ass to you and say hurtful shit like that. You’re not selfish for following your dreams. Also, didn’t he technically break up with you? So, actually, I don’t get why he’s still mad at you.”

You stayed silent.

“Again, you-”

“I know, Yoongs,” you groaned. “I know that I don’t have to do this,” a heavy sigh slipped past your lips, “but it’s just this one time anyway and unlike what you guys might think, I’m not hurt by what he said.”

Neither Taehyung nor Yerim nor Yoongi said something for a while and just as the silence was about to become too unbearable and just as you were about to tell them you had to do something and therefore, hang up, Taehyung spoke up.

“You’re stupid, Y/N.”

You peeled your eyes open and lowered your gaze, a tight smile splitting apart on your lips.

“I know.”

You couldn’t recall how this had happened, how a simple film night turned into a dinner party, but somehow you were all standing in the middle of Heejin’s kitchen, preparing dinner. Taehyung and Jungkook were manning the stove, cooking the meat and Heejin and you were cutting up vegetables for a salad.

“Careful!”

You froze at Heejin’s voice and looked up, eyes locking with hers. Jungkook and Taehyung stopped messing around and turned their focus to you two, brows raising at the sudden exclamation. When you looked back down where Heejin’s fingers had curled around your wrist, you realised that you were about to cut off your fingers. Immediately, you let go of the knife and forced a laugh to spill from your lips.

“Shit. Good catch.”

“You okay? Almost cut off your fingers there,” Heejin said with a small smile and you quickly nodded, ignoring the gazes that were digging into your back. 

“Yeah, uh, just spaced out a little,” you mumbled and Heejin laughed, returning to cutting up the rest of her carrots. 

You grabbed your glass of wine and when you took a sip from it, your eyes locked with Taehyung’s. There was a deep line etched between his brows and in an attempt to smooth it over, you smiled at him. It took him a second, but he smiled back at you and seeing his smile had your smile turn into a genuine one.

Your gaze wandered and locked with Jungkook’s. You looked at him without meaning to. Your gaze just automatically travelled to him. His face was stiff and hard. Harsh lines were carved into it and you thought he was going to say something, scoff at you, but then he turned around without a word.

Taehyung and you looked at each other once more and his jaw locked up, but you shook your head. When he sighed, you thanked him with a smile and turned away, putting your wine glass down to focus on your vegetables again.

“Oh.”

Heejin stopped and looked up, raising her brows at your sudden exclamation.

“What?” she asked with a tilt of her head and you pointed at the cucumber on her cutting board.

“I, uh, like them diced more,” you said and Heejin blinked at you, expecting you to be joking. “Yeah, I- I just think cucumbers taste better diced.”

You shrugged and Heejin’s light laugh filled the air before she nodded and started dicing the cucumber.

“Okay, sure thing. Diced cucumbers it is.”

You smiled at her. “Thanks.” 

Heejin waved it off. You stopped yourself from shaking your head at yourself because a week ago, Taehyung and you were rolling your eyes at Jungkook for preferring his cucumbers diced, but here you were, making sure his cucumbers were going to be cut the way he liked them.

“So, tell me,” Heejin started when you picked up the knife. She tucked her hair away and looked at you. “What was Kook like in high school?”

You stopped chopping your tomatoes and bit on your lip. You struggled to think of something to say and Heejin’s staring certainly didn’t make it any easier.

“He, uh, well, the same, I think,” you started and your words had Heejin chuckling. “I mean, I don’t think he really changed that much since.” You kept cutting up your tomatoes, eyes focused on the task in front of you. “At least, I doubt it. He didn’t change much during high school, so, I don’t think he did now.”

“Well, what was he like during high school?” Heejin asked again, not getting the answer she had been fishing for.

“Funny and kind,” you said without missing a beat and surprised yourself. You paused before shrugging and transferring your tomato wedges inside the big salad bowl. “He’s—not to gas him up—but he’s always been funny and kind, I guess. Like, he’s just always had a good heart.” You took the last tomato, starting to cut it up into wedges too. “He’s always just cared about others around him and tried to make others happy. It’s- it’s really nice and sweet.”

“That’s-”

“Like, one time he stayed after school with,” you quickly swallowed the ‘me’, “uh, one of our friends for hours because they had lost their keys. And they didn’t even ask him to stay. He just did it himself and helped them out because they were, like, freaking out and on the brink of tears. And they weren’t even friends at that point. They were just classmates, but he- that didn’t matter to him. He helped them nevertheless.”

You laughed at the memory a little, remembering clearly how panicked you had been when you had realised that you had lost your keys.

“But he also definitely has his dramatic tendencies, and he’s also very picky with his food. I’m sure you know by now- oh, and he’s constantly late. At this point, it’s just chronic. Don’t get me started on his shitty excuses.”

You put away the last tomato wedges and your grip around the knife loosened. With your eyes on your hands, you sighed and without noticing, a smile stretched across your lips.

“But nevertheless, he’s a really amazing and great person.”

Heejin had long stopped dicing the cucumber and simply stared at you. When you looked up to her, you realised that maybe you had said too much. Your heart dropped into your stomach at the realisation and you were about to dismiss your words when a smile grew on Heejin’s lips.

“That’s great to hear,” she said and you couldn’t figure out if she meant it or not. “Sounds like you two were close.”

“Well, no- He was known for being kind and funny at our school. Ask anybody, they’d say the same thing about him,” you laughed and you hoped you could hide the wavering of your voice. “And if anyone was close to him, then it was Taehyung.”

“What was I?”

Taehyung stood next to you and you were about to respond when he took one of the tomato wedges and plopped them into his mouth. He stopped chewing when he saw the diced cucumbers and he looked at you, but you avoided his gaze.

“Don’t eat all of them. It’s for the salad. Also, are you done with your thing?” you said when he mindlessly reached for a second tomato wedge. You slapped his hand away, eliciting a gasp and whine from him.

“You’re mean, Y/N,” a pout formed on Taehyung’s lips, but you simply rolled your eyes at him, “and, yeah, Kook is finishing everything up.” He rubbed his hand. “Also, what was I?”

You sighed and put down the knife, reaching for the kitchen towel hanging from Taehyung’s shoulder to wipe your hands on it. “Close to him during high school.”

Taehyung raised his brows for a second before his gaze wandered behind you and it clicked in his mind. “Talking about the past, huh?”

“Yeah, Kook rarely ever talks about it,” Heejin said and you took the little piece of uncut cucumber from her cutting board, wanting to busy yourself with something.

“What are you guys talking about?” Jungkook turned off the stove and walked up to you, stopping behind Heejin.

“High school,” Taehyung said and Jungkook’s eyes shot to you. His gaze dug into you, but you acted like you couldn’t feel it, couldn’t feel him looking at you and instead kept your focus on dicing the cucumber in front of you.

“Yeah, you never wanna talk about it, babe,” Heejin repeated again and Jungkook frowned at her words.

“It wasn’t a good time.”

For just a second, you stopped focusing on the cucumber and instead focused on the icicles slowly forming in your lungs and the piercing breeze blowing through your chest, but you pulled it together and ignored the cold spreading through you.

“Wait, seriously?” Heejin asked and looked at Jungkook with raised brows. 

“Yeah, I guess-” Jungkook shrugged and you could feel Taehyung’s eyes on you as you poured the diced cucumbers into the salad bowl. “It wasn’t-”

Jungkook looked over to you for a second, but you didn’t meet his gaze. You just kept staring at the cutting board and over your head, Taehyung shot Jungkook a look that almost resembled a glare. 

“I just don’t like thinking back to that time.” Jungkook shrugged once more and you let go of the knife. It hit the cutting board with a faint thud that had your face contorting and Taehyung tensing up next to you. His fingers pulled on your wrist and wrapped around it, thumb brushing over your skin to soothe you, but it did nothing to thaw the icicles hanging from your lungs, sharp and ready to steal your breath.

“I mean it’s not like it was awful or anything. I did have my friends and a g- uh, stuff like that, and at the time, I thought it was great,” Jungkook continued on, and your heart froze up more and more with each of his words.

His eyes wandered to you, digging into you as he continued,

“But great things always have to come to an end.”

Taehyung was glued to your side for the rest of the time, and you thanked him with a smile when you felt like you could muster up one. He shot one right back at you and by the time dinner was actually served, you had almost completely forgotten about Jungkook’s words and the way they had frozen up your heart.

You almost forgot.

Because for some reason, you were the one sitting across from Jungkook. When Taehyung and you had noticed, you couldn’t switch anymore. And so, Jungkook and you made sure to keep your heads low and your legs tucked underneath your chairs.

“How come?”

You looked up and blinked at Heejin as she quickly swallowed the rice to continue talking.

“How come both of you haven’t watched ‘Titanic’?” she asked and pointed between Taehyung and you. 

“I don’t think there’s necessarily a reason, right?” you said and looked at Taehyung for confirmation. He hummed in agreement and shrugged, stuffing his face with some of the salad.

“Do you guys just not like romcoms?”

“Uh, wouldn’t say we don’t like them,” Taehyung mumbled, “but we don’t really watch them either.”

“Yeah, most are just a little too unrealistic for me,” you added and took a sip from your wine. 

“I get that. Unrealistic romcoms are definitely the worst,” Heejin laughed. “Kook and I really enjoy romcoms though.”

You almost told Heejin that you knew that, that you knew very much that Jungkook was a sucker for romcoms. He had been the romantic of you two, taking you out on the most extra dates, making sure that you always felt special, trying his hardest to make your relationship into a romcom.

“Netflix has put out some really great and realistic ones though recently,” Heejin continued. ”Like, ‘Set It Up’ is really great and funny and ‘To All The Boys I’ve Ever Loved Before’ while a little more cheesy, is still very great.”

“You really like romcoms, don’t you?” you asked and Heejin beamed at your question, clearly excited about the prospect of talking about romcoms in depth.

“Yeah, I absolutely love them,” she sighed and leaned forward a little, her smile widening. You smiled back at her because it was truly hard not to smile at Heejin.

“What’s your favourite one?” you asked and Heejin’s smile grew into a grin, eyes glossing over as the excitement etched onto her face. 

“Hard question, but I’d say ‘About Time’ and ‘Someone Great’ are some of my favourites,” Heejin said and you perked up.

“Didn’t we watch ‘About Time’?” You looked over to Jungkook without meaning to and when he met your gaze, his eyes were big and flushed with panic. Quickly, you added, “We watched it together, right? All of us?”

Your head whipped around to Taehyung and he was mid-bite, caught off guard. 

“Yeah, no, we, uh, did,” Taehyung coughed out, slightly choking on his rice.

“Wasn’t it great?” Heejin said with a big grin and you nodded, taking a big sip from your wine.

“W-what was the other one again? ‘Someone Great’? What is that one about? I don’t think I’ve heard of it,” you said, changing the topic. Jungkook quickly went back to focusing on his food, but Taehyung was still looking at you out of the corner of his eye.

“Oh, it’s about Jenny—she’s the main character—who is a journalist, and she lands her dream job, but to fulfill it, she has to move across the country,” Heejin started to explain and you thought you were hearing wrong. You almost choked on your own spit and you weren’t the only one noticing the similarities because Jungkook slowly raised his head and looked at you.

“Her boyfriend, Nate, of, I think, nine or ten years ends up breaking up with her because of it and then she and her friends, like, try to forget about everything and cheer her up. It’s a really good film. They also all have their own respective relationship problems and we also get to see Jenny’s and her boyfriend’s relationship through flashbacks,” Heejin finished up telling and Taehyung’s hand found yours. You let go of your fork to interlace your fingers with his because right now, you needed someone to hold onto.

“It’s not your conventional romcom,” Heejin said with a smile. “It’s why I love it so much. It totally brings up the question of love or work and what’s the right choice.”

You hummed and looked away, deciding not to look at Jungkook because you didn’t want to see the way his features contort and harden. You had seen it once already, had seen his face split apart in pain once before. You had seen it when you had told him you were leaving, and ever since, you hadn’t gotten it out of your head. It had haunted you all of these years. 

You knew if you looked at Jungkook right now, the guilt and bad memories would bubble up and chew you out again. A lump would lodge itself into your throat and your heart would tighten into an impossible knot and everything in your body would ache and scream and tears would prick your eyes and your lungs would freeze to ice. 

At the sight of it, you would be left on the floor, gutted and breathless and in pain and frozen.

“What do you think, Y/N?”

You were more than caught off guard by the question and you scrunched up your brows, tilting your head to the side as you met Heejin’s gaze.

“Like, the fact that her boyfriend broke up with her and she essentially had to choose between love and work. What do you think about that?” Heejin blinked at you and her expression was hard to read. Her lips were pressed into a thin line and her brows were slightly raised.

You stammered for something to say, incredibly aware that all eyes were on you. Jungkook seemed to be staring holes into you, almost like he was challenging you to say the wrong thing. Taehyung squeezed your hand even tighter now and you couldn’t thank him enough because it offered you enough strength to croak out, 

“I don’t know.”

For a moment, there was silence.

“Well, I think it was fair of her boyfriend to break up with her because leaving like that was just shitty,” Jungkook piped up and Taehyung scoffed quietly underneath his breath, whispering an ‘of course’ to himself.

“I wouldn’t say breaking up with her was fair at all,” Taehyung argued and you squeezed Taehyung’s hands, wishing he wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t start all of this, but you couldn’t get through him. He couldn’t feel your hand tightening around his, could only feel the anger coursing through his veins.

“How is breaking up with her not fair if they were going to break up anyway? It was inevitable. She essentially left him for a job. Might as well just do it instead of dragging it out,” Jungkook said and put down his fork and knife, leaning back to cross his arms in front of his chest.

“Dude, no, it wasn’t,” Taehyung spat out and tried his hardest to keep his voice level. “They could have tried, tried to work it out somehow. Maybe they would have broken up later, but not trying at all and then being mad at the other person is not fair at all and fucking ridiculous.”

Heejin looked between Jungkook and Taehyung as they threw words at each other’s heads like doing so would make the other understand. You sank deeper into the chair and never more did you wish for a hole to appear underneath you and swallow you. In fact, you wouldn’t mind if the hole swallowed you and never spat you out again.

The conversation had taken a different turn than Heejin had intended it to go and you hoped and prayed she wouldn’t piece it together, wouldn’t figure out what exactly was being said right now, wouldn't manage to read between the lines.

“Can you really blame her boyfriend, though?” Jungkook was slipping now. The anger was consuming him slowly and wholly, taking over him. “I- he must have been so caught off guard by the news that she was moving away. It’s not okay or fair to keep that shit from him all the time and then expect him to be fine with it or supportive after telling him-”

“Yeah, I get it. It sucks that she kept it from y- him, but ever thought that there was a reason, huh?” Taehyung was breaking as well and the mask of friendliness and neutrality was sliding off, sliding off so fast he couldn’t catch it. Not that he bothered to. ”Ever thought that she kept it a secret from him because she was scared and didn’t want to hurt him? Like, fine, dude, be mad at the moment, but hating her forever and not even bidding her goodbye-”

“You don’t seem to get just how hurt I- he was, Taehyung. It’s not that easy-”

“How is it not that easy to be a decent human being? If he loved her, if he really loved her, he would have realised that it was her dream and wished her well-”

“Well, if she really loved him, she wouldn’t have left him like that! But she did because she’s selfish.” 

At this point, Jungkook and Taehyung were essentially screaming at each other, words bitter and far too loud.

“Dude, how is it selfish to chase your dreams? Also, what the fuck are you trying to say? Is she meant to always choose him over everything-”

“No, that’s literally not what I’m saying. She should have talked to him-”

“And she did, but he didn’t listen. What was she gonna do? Harass him into listening?”

“No, because at that point, when he refused to listen, she had already messed it all up! She had already broken him. Fuck, they were literally dating for years and years and one day, she just tells him she’s gonna leave? Like, what the actual fuck? What about their promise of forever? What about that? Was he not enough for her now?”

Jungkook was glaring at Taehyung with his eyes blown out wide and his chest heaving, lungs aching for air.

“She can go fuck herself for that!”

Your knuckles turned white around Taehyung’s hand and your teeth sank into your tongue. It was your poor attempt to numb the pain rippling through you now with even more pain.

Jungkook’s words were dripping with venom and anger. They sliced into you and pushed out any warmth inside you, leaving you freezing and cold. They poisoned you, sent the icicles crashing down from where they had been hanging, and they pierced through your lungs and filled them up with blood. You could feel yourself choke, suffocate slowly and painfully as his words replayed over and over again in your mind like a broken record.

You wanted to press your eyes shut and run away. You didn’t want to hear any of it anymore, didn’t want to have to listen to Taehyung and Jungkook screaming at each other, yelling like it was a battle of who could be the loudest.

Your eyes locked with Jungkook’s and while his stare was cold and hard, colder and harder than you had ever seen it, there seemed to be something else glimmering in his eyes too. And that something made him look like he knew he had gone too far, look like he knew exactly what his words were doing to you, but right now, he didn’t care, didn’t care just how much he was hurting you because in his mind, you had hurt him first, had hurt him worse.

So, hurting you was okay, justified even.

Taehyung fixed Jungkook with a glare, but he simply held his own, eyes digging into Taehyung’s as much as his eyes were digging into Jungkook’s. Taehyung’s nostrils were flared and his jaw was locked to the point it had to hurt. Both slipped into a staring contest either were more than determined to win.

At the end though, it was Jungkook who tore his gaze away, but the anger and frustration were etched onto every line and edge of his face. 

Taehyung scoffed before throwing his fork down on the plate and jumping up. His chair hit the floor and you were about to pick it up when he yanked on your hand. You stumbled after him more than anything else and as Taehyung led you around the table and out of the kitchen, your gaze met Heejin’s.

Her brows were drawn together and for once, there was no hint of a smile on her lips. You wanted to apologise to her, tell her it was all fine—even though you weren’t even sure if it was—but then you saw her hand on his knee underneath the table and suddenly, there was an unbelievably uncomfortable knot sitting in your throat, stopping you.

“I hope you don’t choke on your fucking diced cucumbers, dude.”

[yoongs - 08:23 PM] : @y/n @tehyung how is the dinner going?

[yeri - 08:34 PM] : ohh, yeah, how is it? are you guys still stuck watching jack draw rose like one of his ~french girls~??

[yeri - 08:34 PM] : also yoongs do you have taes name saved wrong in your phone??? wtf

[yoongs - 08:57 PM] : have you guys gotten to that stupid door scene yet?

[yeri - 09:14 PM] : are you ignoring me? 

[yoongs - 09:43 PM] : @y/n @tehyung didnt you guys say youd try to go home asap

[yoongs - 09:43 PM] : how long is dinner and a film? or are you guys ignoring us?

[yeri - 09:45 PM] : tae, are you ignoring us like yoongs is ignoring me right now?? like y/n i get bc she sucks at texting, but you? tae? not responding? :o

[You - 04:57 AM] : hey, yoongs! please dont say anything to yeri or tae, but could you give me his address? kinda urgent.

[yoongs - 09:14 AM] : are you okay? why are you texting me at 4?

[You - 09:14 AM] : im fine. ill tell you all about it later. just give me his address please

[yoongs - 09:15 AM] : uff fine

[yoongs sent in location]

[yoongs - 09:15 AM] : its 201

In high school, you hadn’t been nearly as close to Taehyung as you were now. It wasn’t because you hadn’t been friends with each other, but rather because he had been so close to Jungkook already. Even after your friend group had formed, the two always had a different kind of bond, a deeper one. And even after Jungkook and you had started dating, their bond had been just as strong as yours had been with Jungkook. 

It had never bothered you because Taehyung and Jungkook had known each other forever, had known each other since they were in diapers. In fact, Yerim, Yoongi and you had always poked fun at that, always joked that those two were the true couple of your friend group. 

It was why you should have expected this to happen when you knocked on Taehyung’s front door.

“Jungkook?”

Your lips parted slightly as you stared at him with big eyes. He was equally as shocked as you were, clearly not checking who it had been before opening the door.

“How’d you get in?” he asked with a furrow of his brows and you stammered before pointing behind you.

“Uh, someone let me in when they were walking out,” you explained and Jungkook scoffed slightly, head shaking from left to right as he cursed his neighbour.

Jungkook was donning a simple white T-Shirt and grey swats. You had seen him in this outfit more times than you could count when you had dated, but it still had your heart quickening because, fuck, he did look good dressed like that.

And as you stared at him, all of the memories of yesterday came rushing back to you and immediately, you lowered your gaze to your feet.

“He isn’t here. Didn’t come home yesterday,” Jungkook mumbled, knowing exactly why you were here and that you definitely were not here for him. Judging from your reaction upon seeing him, you hadn’t expected to see him. Another scoff almost escaped him, but somehow, he managed to swallow it. 

When you looked back up to him, Jungkook was already walking away, but the door stood wide open. Interpreting him leaving the door open as inviting you inside, you stepped in and closed the door behind you.

You tightened your grip around your tote bag as you walked inside, steps light. You were ready to run right out if Jungkook was to ask you why the fuck you invited yourself inside, but he didn’t. He just walked into the living room and sat down on his U shaped couch before pulling out his phone and mindlessly scrolling through it.

Unsure what to do—not only because you had never been here before, but also because you hadn’t expected to see Jungkook—you stopped behind him, not daring to take a single step inside the living room.

It was small and most of the room was taken up by the U shaped couch, but somehow it still looked home-y and cozy. Something about it, about the way the furniture was arranged and the room was decorated screamed comfort and you knew Jungkook was to thank for it. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, just sit. Looks like I’m not letting you.”

You snapped around to see Jungkook rolling his eyes at you. He gestured around him, offering you the rest of the couch, but you hesitated to do just what he had told you to. His eyes continued to burn into you and after a second and some internal debating, you wandered around the couch and sat down, choosing the seat that was furthest from Jungkook’s.

The gap between you two was huge, enough to fit Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi between it, and you were more than thankful for it because the tension was palpable, thick, so thick a knife couldn’t even cut through it, so thick it could stop a bullet.

You put down your tote bag next to you, but you held it close to you, protecting the food inside. After a few seconds of silence, you pulled out your phone, unlocking it to open Taehyung’s and your chat.

[You - 09:32 AM] : where, uh, are you right now?

[You - 09:32 AM] : please come home asap. im sitting in the living room with him and its awkward as fuck. hurry

[You - 09:32 AM] : also why the fuck didnt you tell me you lived w him??

You were about to make a new group chat, add Yoongi and Yerim to it and panic text them when Taehyung came online and started typing.

[tae - 09:32 AM] : wtf??

[tae - 09:33 AM] : why the fuck ar u at my place?? you know where i lve?

[tae - 09:33 AM] : im there asap

[You - 09:33 AM] : i made you food as a way to say sorry

[tae - 09:33 AM] : go into my room its in the back. on the left second dor

[tae - 09:33 AM] : why sorry????

[You - 09:34 AM] : okay good. hurry

[You - 09:34 AM] : uh well your fight with him???? you forgot abt it?

[tae - 09:34 AM] : no ofc not

[tae - 09:34 AM] : but

[You - 09:34 AM] : omfg what does it matter. just come home

[tae - 09:35 AM] : fine

You sighed and hoped that Taehyung was going to come back in the next ten minutes or so because you couldn’t stand being in a room with Jungkook any longer. You just couldn’t forget that he was right here, that he was just sitting a few metres away from you, in the same room as you.

“But she did because she’s selfish.”

“When he refused to listen, she had already messed it all up!”

“She had already broken him.”

“He wasn’t enough for her now?”

“What about their promise of forever?”

“She can go fuck herself for that!”

You pressed your lips together and let your head fall, eyes squeezing shut as you tried to block it all out, tried not to think, but it was hard, hard when the person you had hurt the most in the world was sitting right there. You wanted to fall to your knees and beg for Jungkook’s forgiveness, but you doubted you had a right to even do that, not to mention talk to him.

The guilt had been eating you up since yesterday evening and continued on as you laid in bed, desperately trying to get some sleep. In the end, you watched the sun creep up the sky, painting your hometown in a tragic orange. 

“Here.”

You peeled your eyes open at the sound before slowly raising your head to see Jungkook standing right in front of you, hands buried in his sweats. He nodded towards the coffee table and when you looked at it, a cup of coffee was sitting on top of it.

“Looks like you haven’t slept in years,” Jungkook scoffed, almost like his words were meant to hurt you, but for once, for the first time since you had seen him again, they had warmth spreading through you. 

“Oh, thanks.”

You reached for the cup of coffee, and it was bordering on cold, but when you took a sip from it, you could feel the sun start to shine in your chest and thaw the remnants of the icicles that had stayed behind from yesterday, shine away the mess that yesterday had left behind.

“Thanks,” you mumbled again, but Jungkook had already turned on his heel and sat down again. You didn’t care, didn’t care because that had just been the first somewhat civil interaction Jungkook and you had shared and you couldn’t help but treasure it.

If you were completely honest, the coffee tasted okay at best and kind of bad at worst, and maybe it was because you were incredibly tired so any caffeine was welcomed or maybe it was because Jungkook had given you the cup of coffee, but somehow that was the best cup of coffee you had ever had. It dissolved on your tongue in the best way possible. 

“Uh,” you turned to Jungkook and he looked up from his phone, brows shooting up as his lips pulled into a thin line. You wanted to say something, but your voice had to have dissolved with the coffee because you couldn’t get it to come out.

You simply pointed at your empty cup of coffee and after a few more seconds of incredibly awkward staring, you managed to croak out, “Where can I put, uh-”

“Just leave it on the coffee table,” Jungkook said before immediately turning back to his phone. You nodded nevertheless and did as you were told.

You pulled out your phone too, and, so, you two sat there for a while in silence as you waited for Taehyung to come home. Almost twenty minutes had passed at this point and because you were too focused on your phone, you didn’t notice Jungkook turn off his phone and put it back in his pocket, didn’t notice him press his lips into a thin line before sighing and looking up to you.

“You remember how I like my cucumbers cut?”

Your eyes shot to him and you could feel the heat crawl up your neck at the question, recalling clearly how he had reacted when you had insinuated how well you still knew him, how that had led to him fixing you with the most piercing stare and ended with him telling you that you taught him that people were selfish and that he hoped you were right and that he didn’t have to see you again after this.

“Uh,” you started before carefully continuing, “yeah. I- I do.”

And it was then that you watched Jungkook crack a smile.

He smiled like he hadn’t essentially told you to go fuck yourself yesterday, smiled like you hadn’t broken his heart, smiled like everything was fine between you two. For the first few seconds, you thought your brain was playing a joke on you, thought you were seeing wrong and that the coffee was hitting you just really hard, but then-

“I thought it was dumb that I prefered diced cucumbers.” Jungkook scrunched up his nose and tilted his head at you, and a smile stretched across your lips, heart tumbling in your chest.

“It is,” you said, “but I’ve been kind of dumb these days.”

You shrugged and Jungkook’s smile widened the tiniest bit, and you had to bite on your lip to stop your smile from growing into a grin, from growing a little too big.

“I swear they taste better diced-”

“Oh my god,” you groaned and rolled your eyes at Jungkook in faux annoyance. “You still seriously think that-”

“I don’t think, I-”

“Yeah, I know you don’t think,” you said and slipped back into teasing Jungkook like nothing had ever happened between you two, like you had never left, like he hadn’t hated and resented you for it, like you hadn’t hurt each other, like yesterday hadn’t happened.

Jungkook gasped at your words, and you giggled when you saw the smile pulling on the corners of his lips that he was so desperately trying to hide, relieved to know that you hadn’t crossed a line.

“Damn, I didn’t miss this, Y/N,” Jungkook said with a light laugh and you noticed instantly that Jungkook had said your name. Your heart tumbled in your chest, involuntarily, and as much as you had tried to hide it by biting it away, a grin split apart on your lips.

For once, there was no tension in the air, no cold lingering around you two, no icicles forming in your lungs. For once, your joints weren’t tightening to the point it hurt and ached, no stiffness stretching you straight. For once, you felt somewhat comfortable around Jungkook, somewhat at ease.

“What did you miss then?” 

“You.”

The answer slipped past Jungkook’s lips, rolled off his tongue without a second thought and you knew it, knew he hadn’t meant to say that, knew he hadn’t intentionally said it when you saw the blood rush to his face and paint his cheeks a bright and blaring red.

Your lips parted slightly and you blinked at Jungkook. Both of you both fell silent again and snapped your heads around, avoiding each other’s gazes as much as possible. And slowly, you could feel the tension fill up the room again, seep into every crack of the room, but this time it was different. 

This time the silence was loud, louder than Taehyung and Jungkook had been yesterday when they were screaming at each other. And with each second it lingered in the stifling air, you felt like it was urging you to say something, urging you to break it and tell Jungkook all of the things you had been wanting to say.

And so, you did, did break it, but you didn’t say the things you had been wanting to say. You said the thing you knew was okay to say.

“Heejin is nice.”

You whispered it into the room, whispered it so quietly like you didn’t want to break the silence that had been begging to be broken. Your eyes stayed on the ground, stayed focused on anything that wasn’t Jungkook, and he did the same, didn’t look up either.

“Yeah,” Jungkook breathed out and propped his arms on his knees, body leaning forward. “I guess she is.”

You nodded, barely registering his answer because you weren’t actually listening for it, not that you could have if you had wanted to because your heart was thumping in your ears, each beat as loud as a bomb going off right next to you. 

“H-how long have you two been dating?” you asked and you were honestly not sure why you were asking because simply thinking about Heejin and Jungkook together hurt you. Somehow you had been spared of their relationship details so far and you were more than thankful for that.

“Well, uh, a couple months,” Jungkook said with a cough. “Almost six now, I think.”

“And she hasn’t met the others yet?” you asked and peeked over to Jungkook. He only lowered his head even more and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah, no, she hasn’t,” Jungkook mumbled.

“How come?” you continued in an attempt to lighten the whole situation, but somehow the air seemed to grow thicker with every word you exchanged. 

Jungkook took his time to answer, eyes scanning the floor like the words would appear on it if he stared long enough, like someone would whisper into his ear why Heejin hadn’t met his friends yet, like he would remember what his reasoning was.

“I- I don’t know,” Jungkook ended up sighing before curling up into himself, head lowering even more as if he was aiming to plant it to the floor.

“How’d you meet?” you asked.

“How does anybody meet anybody these days? Dating apps.”.

“What-”

“Did you date?”

The question was simple, each word easy to understand, but you had difficulties figuring out what he was asking you.

“When you were there, I mean. Did you date?”

You stammered for an answer, words running away from you like you were children playing Tag on a sunny day with your friends, and you were losing, miserably. The air was knocked out of your lungs and it took you seemingly an eternity to finally get it together and cough out some words, words that put together resembled an answer.

“I- yeah, I, uh, did.” You grimaced at yourself, head lowering to avoid Jungkook’s gaze the same way he had avoided yours before.

“So, you had, like, a serious-”

“No,” you cut in a little too fast. “I mean I dated, but nothing was really serious. I never had anything like a proper- you know.”

The corners of Jungkook’s lip curled up the tiniest bit at your answer.

“How come?”

You sighed and gripped your tote bag next to you, wondering now where the fuck Taehyung was because hadn’t he said he would hurry? 

“It just never felt quite right, I guess.” You shrugged and shifted from left to right, fingers tightening around your tote bag. “They were all funny and kind, but- I guess you could say that something was missing. Like, I don’t know, the spark or whatever.” Another shrug. “But also not like I had time to date. Was busy with my studies anyway.”

Jungkook hummed and for a moment, you both fell silent again. You were about to pull out your phone and mumble something about checking where Taehyung was to change the subject to something lighter, easier, when he cut in.

“Anyone significant though?” Your eyes shot to him and you raised your brows at him. His face was neutral, but there was definite curiosity swimming in his pupils. “Like, memorable? Anyone that stuck around a little longer? Or, you know, you liked-”

“No,” you said with a vigorous shake of your head. “No one that was in any way memorable or significant. Most just- they just kind of blur together.”

Jungkook looked at you for another second, words sinking in with him before he nodded and hummed. Both of you lowered your gazes again and fell into the all too familiar silence, tension creeping up on you.

But before you could be forced to break the silence once again and word vomit all over yourself, there was a rumbling and a frantic turning of keys. A second later, the front door flew open. Hectic and clumsy steps followed and soon enough, your eyes landed on a frazzled and panting Taehyung.

He stopped in the middle of the room, right in front of Jungkook and you. His chest heaved and judging from the sweat running down his temple, he had run a good amount.

Jungkook looked away when Taehyung stumbled into the living room, and instantly, you could feel a change in the air. The tension sat on your chest, suffocating you as it seeped into every corner of the room.

“My room,” Taehyung panted before pointing at you and into the hallway, not sparing Jungkook a single glance as he turned on his heel. You didn’t follow his words and only tightened your grip around your tote bag.

“I, uh,” you cleared your throat and Taehyung stopped, turning around to look at you with raised brows, confused, “I’d rather stay, uh, here.”

“What?” Taehyung asked and irritation started to mix with his confusion. “Why?”

His eyes dug into yours like he was trying to tell you just how little he wanted to stay here, and you sighed, tucking a strand behind your ear. Your tongue swiped across your bottom lip and you could feel your heart quicken in your chest, quicken impossibly.

“I-” you lowered your head before finally mustering up the courage to say it. “I know I said I came here to say sorry for yesterday, but I’m also here to say that I’d like to stop—I guess you could call it fake dating, right?—well, anyway, I’m here to tell you I’d like to stop fake dating you,” you thought to yourself, unsure how to call what Taehyung and you had been doing, “or whatever.”

“Why?”

“Because,” you started, voice quiet and calm, and you couldn’t look at Taehyung or Jungkook as you explained yourself because, fuck, all of this was so ridiculous and dumb, “I don’t like it. I don’t like lying. It’s stupid.”

You shrugged and when you looked up to Taehyung, he had his brows raised at you and his hands on his hips, obviously not believing you at all.

“You’re literally ly-”

“Also,” you cut in, not wanting to give Taehyung a chance to disagree with you and because you had to get everything out right now before the courage left you and you were staring at the floor once again. “Also, it’s just not fair to Heejin. She doesn’t deserve to be lied to you. She’s a good person and if she finds out that we’ve been lying to her, she- I don’t know, might break up with, uh, you know.”

Your eyes flickered to Jungkook. He was already looking at you, and maybe it was because your heart was beating in your ears, tumbling way too loud in your chest or maybe because you couldn’t properly look at him for more than a second, but you couldn’t read his expression. There was something in his eyes, but you couldn’t quite figure out what exactly.

“And we don’t want that, right?” 

Your voice wavered as you said the words and you hoped it would go unnoticed, hoped that neither Taehyung nor Jungkook listened closely enough to hear the waver. You folded your arms over your stomach, focusing back on Taehyung. He eyed you, continued to do so and you had to try your hardest not to shift and look away. 

“Fine,” Taehyung sighed, gaze tearing away to let it wander before his eyes returned to you like he had come to accept your decision just now. “What do you suggest?”

“I- uh,” you flashed Taehyung a nervous smile and wrung your hands together, “I don’t know. I- I figured we’d come up with something,” a short pause, “together.”

When you looked over to Jungkook again, he was staring at the floor before meeting your gaze, obviously not thinking he was going to be included in this. You wanted to muster up something that resembled a smile, but looking at him was something you couldn’t do, so, your eyes flickered to Taehyung. No smile for Jungkook.

“Together,” you repeated and Taehyung sighed, head lowering for a few seconds as he squeezed his eyes shut. When he looked up again, there was a deep line etched onto his features.

“Fine,” Taehyung breathed out before wandering into the room again and sitting down right opposite of Jungkook. 

All three of you occupied one side of the U shaped couch, Jungkook the left, Taehyung the right and you the middle.

“Okay, uh,” you started when the silence continued on too long, leaning forward to grab Taehyung's attention. “I- I’d say we have to break up amicably, right?”

You looked over to Taehyung for some kind of reaction, but his eyes were fixed on Jungkook and his eyes were fixed on Taehyung as well. Your head started to throb and you knew it was a matter of time until it split apart. Unable to take it any longer, you clapped your hands together and cut through some of the lingering tension.

“I thought we were gonna talk,” you said, voice quiet because you were too scared to speak up too loudly. You looked at Taehyung only because looking at Taehyung was easy and looking at Jungkook was not. “Let’s talk then, please.”

Taehyung and Jungkook locked eyes once more, the corners of their lips turned down, but both came to a mutual conclusion.

“Okay,” Jungkook sighed and shifted in his seat. 

“Yeah, fine,” Taehyung mumbled quietly, arms unfolding to rest on his knees. 

There was a moment of silence as he thought.

“You said break up amicably, right?” Taehyung pointed at you and you nodded. “Yeah, sounds like a good idea.”

“What does it matter if you two break up amicably or not?” Jungkook questioned with a furrow of his brow and Taehyung sighed.

“It matters because if Y/N and I don’t break up amicably, we can’t hang out in the future. So, if Heejin were to see us, it’d be weird,” Taehyung explained and the irritation was dripping from his words.

“You guys wanna hang out in the future?” Jungkook asked and Taehyung contorted his face at him.

“Yeah, of course, dude. Why the fuck wouldn’t we? We’re friends,” he said and shook his head at Jungkook, scoffing slightly.

“Don’t-”

“Okay, great. Break up amicably. How though?” you cut in before things could escalate any further, turning to Taehyung for some answers, but he simply shrugged.

“How about,” Jungkook started and ran a hand through his hair, “How about you two start acting annoyed with each other the next time we meet up? Like, start dropping hints and then, I’ll make some comment about how you two have problems and then, when we see each other again, you two are broken up.”

“Yeah, I doubt that Heejin would like to meet up again after yesterday,” Taehyung said and you hummed in agreement.

“Are you sure this is about Heejin not wanting to meet up or just you?” Jungkook bit back and you sighed inwardly, regretting not taking Yoongi or Yerim with you as support.

“Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?” Taehyung sneered with a scoff and a breathy chuckle, and you were certain your skull was going to break into pieces.

“What am I talking about? How about the fact that you didn’t come home yesterday?” Jungkook asked and pointed at Taehyung, the knit deepening between his brows.

“What does that-”

“Tae, please,” you interrupted and closed your eyes, hating every second of this. “Just don’t, please.”

You peeled your eyelids open and locked eyes with him, shaking your head from left to right as you were on the verge of giving this up and going home. Taehyung’s gaze softened when he saw how tired you were, irritation washing out of him in an instant.

“Yeah, no, you’re right. I’m sorry,” he mumbled, hand reaching for yours and you took it, squeezing it to thank him silently. You two shared a look and both of you were too occupied to notice Jungkook lowering his head and scoffing silently to himself, teeth sinking far too deep into his lip, so much so it should hurt.

“Okay, so, how-” you started, letting go of Taehyung’s hand to concentrate on the conversation again. “How did you imagine us meeting up again? Because I also don’t think that Heejin would want to meet up after yesterday.”

You glanced into Jungkook’s direction, but he kept his head low, acting like he was thinking when in reality, he was trying not to burst. 

“Maybe we could convince Yeri or Yoongs to host a game night or whatever,” Taehyung offered as a solution and you thought about his words for a moment before nodding, a smile tugging on the corners of your lips.

“Yeah, that sounds like something,” you said and turned to Jungkook slightly, glancing into his general direction to gauge his reaction.

“But,” Jungkook started, head raising a little as he looked at Taehyung with his brows slightly knitted together, “that’d mean Heejin would meet-”

Jungkook didn’t finish the sentence, deciding to swallow the rest of it instead and Taehyung and you exchanged a glance, giving him a few seconds to make up his mind again as to what he wanted to say.

“Yeah, no, that’s fine,” Jungkook sighed at the end, nodding, and Taehyung and you locked eyes once more.

“Great. I can talk to them about it,” you said with somewhat of a smile on your lips and Taehyung hummed in agreement and Jungkook just rubbed the back of his neck.

Stifling silence fell over all three of you, but then you remembered why you had come here in the first place. You dug through your tote bag and pulled out one tupperware box before pulling out another one. You placed them both on the coffee table and pushed them into their direction.

Taehyung and Jungkook looked up when they heard the sliding of the tupperware boxes and almost simultaneously, they furrowed their brows together and glanced at you. You didn’t meet either’s gazes, deciding to fiddle with the strap of your tote bag instead. 

“Breakfast,” you said with a shrug and it took Taehyung grabbing his box and removing the top for Jungkook to finally stop staring at you and grab his box.

“You made me food too?” Jungkook asked and stared at the box in front of him before glancing back up to you. You lowered your head even more, cheeks growing hot underneath his eyes.

“Well, no, not really,” you started, clearing your throat. “I mean I didn’t know you lived with Tae, but since he always used to eat so much I figured one box wasn’t enough and so, I made two, but I’m pretty sure two boxes were too much anyway. So, this works out perfectly actually. But it’s just a bunch of stuff I found in my fridge and threw together. Really nothing special.”

You shrugged more and Taehyung mumbled something underneath his breath, but you couldn’t catch it. Without a fork or a chopstick or any cutlery, he dug in, biting off a piece of the fried egg.

“Fuck, it’s good,” Taehyung said with a slight scoff like it was infuriating to him that your cooking (Could it be considered cooking though because you just made some bacon and fried egg and cut up some vegetables?) didn’t completely suck.

“Thanks,” Taehyung mumbled in between bites, enjoying the food so much that he couldn’t even raise his head to look at you.

You nodded and glanced at Jungkook, who had snapped out of whatever he had previously been and finally removed the top of the box, marvelling at the food in front of him. And just like Taehyung, he dug in, fingers first. You watched Jungkook try the bacon and shake his head as he chewed, a smile overtaking his lips more and more as he continued eating.

Jungkook looked up, eyes locking with yours and with the softest smile, he nodded at you.

“Thank you.”

And you nodded right back at him with your heart tumbling far too loudly in your chest.

“You’re welcome.”

All three of you fell silent and for a while, Taehyung’s and Jungkook’s constant chewing was the only thing that rang in your ears at all.

“Uh, Tae, could you give me-” Jungkook pointed at the box of tissues in front of Taehyung, out of his reach. He looked up at Jungkook’s voice, blinking for a few seconds because this had been the first time Jungkook had talked to him in a civil manner. Taehyung nodded and shoved the little piece of carrot into his mouth.

“Yeah, no, sure thing,” he mumbled before taking a tissue and leaning over the table to give it to Jungkook. He took it, wiping his fingers and mouth before locking eyes with Taehyung once more.

“Thanks,” Jungkook mumbled quietly and Taehyung smiled to himself a little before waving it off.

“Sure thing,” Taehyung mumbled equally quiet and you had to stop the grin from growing on your lips. 

For a few more seconds, you sat there as Taehyung and Jungkook practically devoured the food you had made (neither bothered to go to the kitchen and get some cutlery though) before you crossed your arms in front of your chest and turned to Taehyung.

“Why were you so late?” you asked and he looked up, a piece of fried egg hanging from the corner of his mouth. “And where were you that it took you half an hour to get back?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes at you and swiped across his mouth with the back of his hand, swallowing heavily. “I crashed at Yoongi’s, and I swear the traffic was just out of the world this morning. I hit more red lights-”

“What? Was there a fire? Or did someone drop a bunch of mirrors on the road?”

Jungkook choked next to you and you watched him cough and pat his chest, trying desperately not to suffocate. Taehyung and you exchanged glances, and even though it had been incredibly awkward and tense just mere minutes ago, things were slowly changing.

When he finally managed to swallow his food, Jungkook locked eyes with you and you tried to hide it, but a smile grew onto your lips, eliciting his cheeks to grow hot and red.

“You guys never believed me,” Jungkook mumbled, a dramatic pout forming on his lips, and when you looked at Taehyung again, both of you burst out into laughter.

“Can you blame us though? Fires? Broken mirrors?” Taehyung laughed, forgetting everything that had happened between Jungkook and him.

“Why would I lie? There’s literally no reason for me to-”

“Because you forgot time and are now running late and trying to shift blame because you don’t want to get shit on for being late, again,” you offered as an explanation, falling into the same old teasing you all used to do when you were all still in high school and your biggest worries were if your mother or Jungkook was going to drive you home today and if Jungkook was going to stay at your place or if you were going to stay at his.

“I would never do that,” Jungkook argued and you rolled your eyes, exchanging a knowing glance with Taehyung. “Hey! No, don’t look at each other like that. I can see you guys.”

“Never thought or said you were blind,” Taehyung grinned and plopped a small tomato into his mouth. You hummed in agreement, grin growing bigger and brighter when you saw Jungkook scoff and shake his head at Taehyung and you.

“It’s always been you two against me,” Jungkook complained and Taehyung and you rolled your eyes simultaneously, scoffing.

“Please, if anything it was always you two,” Taehyung pointed at Jungkook and you with a piece of carrot before pointing at himself, “against me.”

“That is not true-”

“It was,” you said and locked eyes with Jungkook, nodding. “We’ve gotta admit it. We bullied Tae more than Tae and I bullied you.”

“So, you did bully me then,” Jungkook said and you rolled your eyes in faux annoyance.

“You’re focusing on the wrong thing,” Taehyung started and pointed at you, waving the piece of carrot around like it wasn’t food. “Y/N never got bullied. Only we did.”

“Oh my God, we never did bully you,” Jungkook said with a dramatic turn of his head and you scoffed, shaking your head because, oh, you did get bullied.

“Yoongs bullied me,” you corrected with a raise of your finger. “And if anyone didn’t get bullied, it was Yeri.”

“No, Yoongs bullied Yeri,” Taehyung said with his brows furrowed together and dismissed your words with a wave of his hand, after having finally eaten the piece of carrot. “You know who actually didn’t get bullied?”

“Yoongs,” Jungkook replied and all of you locked eyes, the realisation dawning on you. There was a beat of silence before you all started talking again, simultaneously.

“That bitch really bullied all of us relentlessly, but never got some of it back.”

“How did we not notice earlier?”

“Looks like we’ve got some bullying to do, huh?”

Another beat of silence followed before you locked eyes once more and all started laughing, pearls of laughter spilling from your lips, loud and beautiful.

And all of the tension and stiffness was gone, gone as you laughed your hearts out. Everything that had happened between you three was forgotten for a moment, the grudges were at the back of your minds, locked away for now, and you took it, took whatever the universe gave you that resembled normalcy. Deep down, you knew things were going to be awkward and tense once you all saw each other again, but for now, it was different, was like it used to be. 

Everything was great.

“I thought you guys would never come,” Yerim laughed, trying so hard to hide the nervosity, but you could hear it. She threw her arms around Jungkook’s neck, pulling him into a hug as he mumbled some excuse into her ear.

“Yeah, sorry.”

You watched Yerim and Heejin meet for the first time and you caught pieces of their conversation, listening to the usual spiel that consisted of ‘Oh, I’ve heard so much about you.’ and ‘It’s so nice to finally meet you’ before plopping a chip into your mouth, deeming whatever Yerim and Heejin were talking about as not interesting.

You had decided to busy yourself with the snacks in the kitchen when the bell had announced Jungkook’s and Heejin’s arrival, coming to the conclusion beforehand that if you looked busy, you didn’t have to get the door and do the obligatory greetings and hugs. With the way the door to the kitchen stood open, you could only see parts of the living room, but you had a perfect view of the front door. You, however, were somewhat hidden by one of Yerim’s plant. Essentially, you stood in the perfect spot to observe without being observed yourself.

“I thought you hated these chips.”

Your head whipped around at his voice and you realised only now he was already standing next to you, fingers grabbing the chip you had been about to eat. A gasp slipped past your lips as you watched him throw the chip into his mouth and lean against the table, shifting his whole weight onto the table.

“Yoongs!” you said, exasperated, but he didn’t care at all, grabbing a handful as he watched Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook exchange pleasantries at the front door.

“Didn’t you say the last time we hung out that these were too stale and bland in your opinion?” he asked, eyes never leaving the people at the front door, and you shrugged, plopping another stale and bland chip into your mouth.

“Opinions change.”

“That was last week.”

“Fine, so maybe they are too stale and bland in my opinion, but Yeri doesn’t have anything else,” you grumbled and threw another chip into your mouth, barely allowing yourself time to swallow and realise (again) just how horrible these chips were and why exactly you hated them.

“Shouldn’t you be saying hello right now?” you asked with a furrow of your brows and Yoongi scoffed.

“Why would I? I don’t live here. Yeri does,” Yoongi said with a scrunch of his nose. “Also, these are fucking horrible.” He looked at the chip in his hand with narrowed eyes. “God, they are stale and bland. I think these are those healthy chips or whatever.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” you said, not really caring about the chips anymore, “but you haven’t met Heejin yet.” You nodded into her direction. “You should say hello.”

“Shouldn’t we all say hello to her regardless of if we’ve met her before or not?” Yoongi asked, plopping another chip into his mouth seconds after complaining about them. “So, shouldn’t you too?”

“I- Yeah, technically, I guess. But it’s different for you,” you argued.

Yoongi scoffed and shook his head, pausing a little as he focused on Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook again before snapping out of it. 

“I tell you what,” Yoongi started before shoving a handful of chips into his mouth, chewing to the end before continuing, “you go over there and say hello and then, I’ll do the same thing.”

You stared at Yoongi, but he didn’t meet your gaze, enjoying the view of Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook in the distance instead, and you huffed before mumbling underneath your breath for him to forget it. Both of you ate chips in silence for a few more seconds before he nudged your elbow with his hand, accidentally dropping a chip when he moved a little too quickly, but he didn’t mind or care at all.

“Tae’s going in,” Yoongi informed you and at his words, you looked up to see that, yes, Taehyung was, in fact, walking up to Yerim, Heejin and Jungkook, a strained smile on his lips.

“Yeah, probably because we aren’t,” you mumbled and Yoongi hummed in agreement. “Always there to save the day.”

“Look at Yeri’s panicked smile,” Yoongi said and pointed at her, and as much as you tried not to, you laughed a little, eliciting one from him.

“We’re bad people, Yoongs,” you snorted and he shook his head at you as he watched the horror unfold in front of him. 

“They haven’t made up yet, have they?” Yoongi asked and judging from the way Taehyung and Jungkook were hugging each other (or, well, actually not hugging each other because they were doing that awkward thing Jungkook and you had done the last time you had ‘hugged’ each other, and that was definitely not a hug.), it was obvious what the answer was.

“Obviously not,” you said and reached for your glass of water to wash down the salt. “Things are better though. Last time, they were ready to jump each other’s throats.”

Yoongi snorted and it was then that you remembered and looked over to him.

“Remember how I asked you for Tae’s address? Why didn’t you tell me he was crashing at your place then?”

A smirk formed on Yoongi’s lips and you wanted nothing more than to throw your glass of water into his face. The fact that he was still not looking at you only added to your irritation and frustration with him. 

“You told me not to tell Tae and Yeri, so I didn’t.”

“Yoongi!” you growled and jabbed him in his ribs, eliciting a breath from him. “You should have told me! Do you know how weird it was when he opened the door? You’re impossible sometimes.”

You scrunched up your brows and gritted your teeth, but Yoongi just cackled next to you, obviously enjoying your misery very much.

“You know what?” you asked and put down your glass of water with a little more force than necessary. “I take it back. We aren’t bad people. You are. You’re straight up a dick.”

“Oh, I never agreed with you,” Yoongi said and you frowned at his words, not getting what he was saying. “I know that I’m a bad person, but, trust me, you’re definitely not.”

Your frown deepened and you were about to ask him what he was talking about when Yoongi finally looked at you and stopped eating the chips, letting the few pieces in his hand fall back in the bowl. He dusted off his hand and straightened up to look at you properly.

“Look around yourself, Y/N,” he said and threw his hands into the air. “We’re at a fake game night party or whatever this thing is that you forced Yeri to throw, so you could act ‘annoyed’ with Taehyung because you’re fake dating him and you’re only fake dating him because that dumbass ex of yours, who is also somehow our dear friend, Jeon fucking Jungkook, forgot to tell his current girlfriend that you dated during high school.”

You tore your gaze away and bit on your tongue, trying desperately not to squirm underneath Yoongi’s gaze.

“This is fucking ridiculous,” Yoongi continued and you lowered your head, squeezing your eyes shut. “This is literally the dumbest thing ever. You’re making sure Jungkook, who, again, I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, is your ex, keeps his current girlfriend because he, again, was a dumbass and forgot to tell her about you. And on top of that, he’s been acting like a complete fucking asshole to you.

“Obviously. you’re not a bad person. You’re a fucking saint for putting up with and doing all of this.”

“It’s not like that-”

“Don’t try to convince me otherwise, Y/N,” Yoongi cut in and shoved his face with chips again before regretting it immediately and scrunching up his face in disgust. You peeled your eyes open just in time to watch him drink all of your water, but this time you didn’t complain. You simply sighed and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“I hurt him-”

“And?” Yoongi argued with a groan. “Stop blaming yourself for everything. We hate it if you do that. If Yeri wasn’t so freaking weak and had stuck to our agreement, this wouldn’t be happening right now.”

You shook your head and pressed your lips together. Yoongi didn’t understand, didn’t understand just what you had done and how much you had actually hurt Jungkook. In fact, none of your friends understood, understood why it wasn’t as easy as they seemed to think it was.

They hadn’t been there when you had told Jungkook you were going, hadn’t been there to witness him crumble apart in front of, hadn’t been there as his anger took over him and consumed him whole, hadn’t been there when Jungkook’s begs for this to be a joke turned into deafening screams and ultimately into bitter words.

“Out!” 

You flinched, flinched because Jungkook had never raised his voice withyou, had never looked at you like that. There was no warmth, no light, no love swimming in his eyes. All you could find was anger and pain, and you wished you could say you weren’t the reason for all of that.

His face contorted and hardened into something unreadable, something you had never seen before, and you wanted to soothe over every line, wanted to kiss them over and over again until they were gone. Even with the anger etched onto his face, Jungkook was painfully beautiful, heartbreakingly so.

“Please. Just let me explain, babe-”

“No!” Jungkook cut in and pointed at you, finger jabbing the air like it had wronged him and not you. Your heart rang in your ears and you were almost certain he could hear it too, hear it thumping in your chest. 

“Kook, please-”

“Do not call me ‘Kook’. I’m not fucking ‘Kook’ or ‘babe’ or even fucking ‘Jungkook’ to you. You’ve got no right to call me by my name anymore!���

A new wave of tears streamed down your face at his words. They pierced through you like bullets, hitting you in rapid succession and at the end, you were laying on the floor, on the brink of death.

“You’ve decided to- decided to leave me, no, us for your stupid adventure. You’ve fucking decided to break our promise! Remember our stupid fucking promise of forever?” Jungkook pressed through gritted teeth and took a step towards you, hands waving wildly around him. “You don’t get to say my name, don’t get to act like everything’s fucking fine and I’m your ‘Kook’ or ‘babe’ or whatever the fuck you call me after breaking it!”

You hiccuped and let your head hang as the realisation dawned on you that he was gone. He had slipped out of your reach and walked, no, ran away. He had put oceans and continents between you two, and there was no more asking him to come back anymore.

You knew then, he and you were done.

More curses slipped past Jungkook’s lips, but you couldn’t hear them, couldn’t hear the accusations he threw at you. For that, your heart was breaking and sobbing far too loudly in your chest.

You weren’t sure how much time passed, how long you stood there and cried your eyes out as he paced up and down his room, but by the time, you managed to lift your head, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his knees and hands folded together with his gaze stuck to the floor.

And you weren’t sure how much time passed, how long you stared at him until he opened his mouth again.

“I really really love you,” Jungkook mumbled through gritted teeth and you knew he wished he didn’t love you anymore.

You wanted to grab him, cup his face and whisper into his ear over and over again just how sorry you were, whisper into his ear until words stopped making sense and the stars rained from the darkened sky.

“I really do,” Jungkook scoffed, but tears spilled from his eyes, involuntarily and far too many. Too proud to cry in front of you now, Jungkook covered his face with his hand and sank his teeth into his bottom lip, but even then, he couldn’t silence the sobs and sniffs. They banged on the walls of his throat and bursted through his lips.

And you hated it, hated seeing him like this, hated seeing his entire body shake and tremble, hated seeing his face contort in pain, hated seeing the tears collect at his chin and drip to the floor, hated seeing his lips quiver uncontrollably, hated seeing him desperately try to keep it together.

You hated seeing Jungkook cry.

But he was, and all because of you.

You were to blame, to blame for the state Jungkook was in right now. You had inflicted that pain on him, had broken and shattered his heart, had made him cry.

“Please, just let me explain-”

“There’s nothing to explain, Y/N,” he said, a sob erupting from his lips again, and you shook your head, trying so desperately to say something, but your tongue was tied into a messy knot. You wanted to tell him that there was so much you wanted to say, so much that needed to be explained, but you couldn’t bring yourself to, couldn’t bring yourself to form the words necessary.

Slowly, Jungkook looked up to you, hand falling into his lap, and when your eyes met his, your heart raptured in your chest. His features were twisted in pain and agony as the tears scared his beautiful face.

“You’re leaving.” Jungkook whispered it into the silence like you didn’t know. 

“You’re leaving me.”

You closed your eyes at his words, shaking your head like you were about to disagree, but you couldn’t, couldn’t even bring yourself to make a single sound. 

The anger in Jungkook’s voice had dissipated into the air and been replaced by disappointment and hurt. And if you had to say which one was worse, Jungkook screaming at you or Jungkook simply looking at you with tears streaming down his face, you would choose the latter every fucking day.

Because without the anger and the screams to numb you, to silence your thoughts and mind, it was obvious, glaringly obvious. 

You had broken Jungkook.

“I hope you’re happy,” Jungkook continued, voice cracking in the worst way possible, and a deaf man could have heard that he was lying, could have heard the bitterness swinging in his words.

“I hope you’re happy knowing you’ve hurt me.”

“You don’t get it, Yoongs,” you mumbled quietly to yourself before looking at your hands. “None of you do.”

You had always preferred game night over film night. You just always thought that it was so much more fun to play games than to sit in darkness and watch some film half of you didn’t watch anyway or had already watched. Your competitiveness and need to win certainly played into your preference of game night over film night. But right now, you would choose film night over game night any day, would never have another game night ever again if that meant you could switch to having a film night now instead.

You really had no idea what Yerim had been thinking when she had decided to draw lots to determine the teams. 

“So, we need a total of seven points to beat them, right? Both rounds?” Heejin asked you and you nodded, your heart racing more and more as you waited for the game to begin.

2 rounds of Taboo. 90 seconds to get through as many words as possible.

“You sure you don’t wanna be the one explaining? I’m sure you’re better at this than I am,” you said and Heejin shook her head at you.

“Trust me, I’m definitely worse than you,” she smiled. “If we wanna win, it’s best if Kook and you do the explaining.”

“Are you ready, Y/N?” Yerim asked you, her finger hovering above the start button, and you turned around to her before nodding. It was a complete lie, you weren’t ready, but you didn’t think you were ever going to be. 

You always got nervous right before you started playing a game, but this time, it was different, different because it mattered so much more if you won or not. Never had you wanted to win more, and the thought of possibly losing had your stomach churning. You couldn’t disappoint, disappoint him because you knew that he was just as competitive as you, if not more so.

“Go!”

You picked up the first card and scanned it.

Tattoos

Ink

Permanent

Skin

“Okay, uh,” you turned around and looked at Heejin and Jungkook, “they are like paintings or sketches.”

“Black and white paintings?” Heejin guessed and you shook your head, biting your lip as you thought of something else to say.

“Uh,” you tucked a strand behind your ear before looking at him, “ you always said you wanted them and they can be in any colour.”

“You always said you wanted them and they can be in any colour‘? What is she talking about?” Taehyung laughed at your poor attempt at describing the word ‘Tattoos’ and you started to panic even more.

“Stop guessing. You’re not on her team,” Yoongi said with a slap to his arm and Taehyung simply dismissed him with a wave of his hand, but he kept his mouth shut.

“Once you get them, they’re forever.”

“Jesus, Y/N, did you get worse at this?” Taehyung laughed and you could hear Yerim’s laugh mix with his. You couldn’t blame them though because you were really struggling to come up with a way to explain ‘Tattoos’.

“Why is Y/N describing and not Kook? Wasn’t he always better at this than her?” Yerim asked and you regretted not putting up more of a fight when Heejin had told Jungkook and you to do the explaining. 

You had always been better at guessing and Jungkook had always been the one better at explaining. You had your roles, but with Heejin on your team now and refusing to do the explaining, you had to step up.

“You got into this huge fight with your parents once because they didn’t like them- oh, you’ve got some now on your freaking hand!”

“Tattoos!” Jungkook exclaimed and you let out a squeal. A smile flashed across your lips before you nodded at him and picked up the next card, the previous card landing on the floor.

Valentine

 February 14

Red

Love 

“45 Seconds,” Yerim said and you turned to Heejin and Jungkook with wide eyes, quickly starting to explain.

“Okay, uh,” you said and tucked a strand behind your ear, brain trying to come up with a way to word this correctly. “It’s a holiday at the start of the year.”

“New Years?” Heejin said and you shook your head at her.

“Later.”

“What holiday is at the start of the year but not New Years?” Taehyung asked and once again, Yoongi slapped his arm, telling him not to guess.

“Easter?” Heejin said and you shook your head.

“30 Seconds,” Yerim interjected and you wanted to curse at her because this was really stressing you out.

“Fuck, uh,” you turned to Jungkook. “We always made fun of it because we thought it was just so commercialised.” You gestured wildly around yourself. “It’s for couples-”

“Oh, Valentine! February 14th-”

You cheered once more before picking up the next card, letting the other one fall to the floor once more.

Harry Potter

Film

Scar

Magic

“Uh, this is easy” you mumbled. “It’s a fictional character.”

“Sherlock Holmes? Iron Man?”

“No, let me finish first,” you shot back with urgency in your voice. “ He’s really famous-”

“Iron Man!”

“No, God, just let me finish!” you groaned and Jungkook sat back down a little more, lips pressing together to let you talk. Heejin smiled next to him and placed her hand on his knee, trying to calm him, but Jungkook had his eyes fixed on you, desperately trying to get that win.

“15 Seconds,” Yerim smiled, definitely enjoying the distress in your eyes far too much.

“Okay, uh, we can get this one,” you said, stumbling over your own words. 

“You can do, like, quizzes.”  You looked at Jungkook once more. “We did them too!” You gestured between him and you. “You got really pressed because you got Hufflepuff, but you wanted-”

“Oh, Harry Potter,” Jungkook said and snapped his fingers.

“Time’s up!” Yerim said and you dropped the card in your hand.

“Three points, right?” Heejin counted on her fingers and turned to Jungkook and you. 

You let out a long sigh, feeling the stress wash out of you a little because now, you got to do the part you were actually good at, guessing.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nodded as he got up and stretched, preparing himself for the next 90 seconds. “So, four points.”

You walked past Jungkook, slumping into the seat he had just sat in. Your heart was still beating way too fast and the adrenaline was pumping through your veins like a bullet train.

“We can do this, right?” Jungkook asked and turned back around, standing in the middle of the room. When you realised he was looking at you, talking to you, you could feel the heat creep up your neck. “You know, like we used to?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” you muttered, far too embarrassed to respond properly. He blinked at you before nodding and walking up to Yerim, who was shuffling the cards.

“‘Like we used to’?” Heejin asked and turned to you with a furrow of her brows. You cursed Jungkook and slowly nodded.

“Yeah, uh, he and I were kinda always a team when we played Taboo,” you said before cleaning your throat and avoiding Heejin’s gaze as much as you could.

“Dream team,” Taehyung interjected and you rolled your eyes at him, leaning towards Heejin a little too slap his shoulder.

“‘Dream team’?” Heejin asked, but before you could answer, Yerim, thankfully, interrupted.

“Next round!” she announced and turned to Jungkook, nodding at him when he did. “Go.”

Immediately, Jungkook picked up a card and you turned around again, putting all of your focus on him and winning.

“So, this is something I want but it’s not a thing or object. It’s, like, alive.”

“Dog?” you started and he quickly shook his head. 

“Cat?” Heejin tried and before Jungkook could shake his head, you interrupted.

“No, he wants a dog, not a cat,” you mumbled, brows furrowing together as you thought about Jungkook’s words, trying to figure out what he was talking about until you got it. “Oh, a family!”

“Yes!” Jungkook grinned and gestured for you to think further. “Right, but that’s not it. When you have a family, you have-” 

“Kids?” You quirked a brow at him and Jungkook nodded.

“Okay, right, another word for kids is-?”

“Children!”

“Yes!” Jungkook cheered and grinned at you before throwing the card away and grabbing a new one. He read it and nodded to himself.

“It’s once a year, but not a holiday.”

“Not a holiday?” Yoongi mumbled quietly to himself even though he had told Taehyung not to guess.

“Say more,” you told him and Jungkook sighed, wrecking his brain before pointing at you.

“It’s your favourite day of the year and- You get a bunch of presents and, oh! We threw you a surprise-”

“Surprise party?”

“Yeah, but why did we-”

“My birthday! Is it birthday?”

Jungkook beamed at you and you mirrored him, beaming right back. Your heart was pounding in your chest, but now, it was out of excitement. You could practically taste the win on the tip of your tongue. 

“Okay, uh, this is hard,” Jungkook sighed after picking up the next card. He frowned before looking up. “It’s something you can eat.”

“Food.”

“Yeah, but that’s only the second word,” he said and gestured for you to think further again. “Like, ice cream-”

“Ice cream food? Food ice cream? Ice food cream?” you blurted all out, screaming one word after another, and Jungkook frowned at you.

“‘Ice food cream’? Maybe you’re not that good at guessing,” Jungkook laughed with a shake of your head, and you rolled your eyes at him, mumbling underneath your breath that it had been a long time, but your words fell on deaf ears. “No, it’s not ice food cream. It’s something you shouldn’t eat much of.”

“Sugar?” you guessed, but Jungkook shook his head at you.

“45 seconds,” Yerim said and Jungkook and you looked at each other, eyes wide. The need to win sparkled in both of your eyes and quickly, panic rushed through you, replacing the excitement.

“Say more-”

“There isn’t more. You’ve just gotta think- food is the second word!”

“But what about ice cream? Why did you-”

“Ice cream is-”

“Cold?”

Jungkook groaned, “No, I don’t mean cold.”

His brows furrowed together as he wrecked his brain before he thought of something and pointed at you again. “Okay, uh, we used to go to this one place all the time! Remember our midnight dinners? And the category of food that they sell is what we’re looking for.”

“Oh! McDonalds!” You snapped your fingers. “Junk Food!”

When Jungkook nodded at you, you squealed, watching him turn around and pick up the next card.

“If they get this next point, they won, right?” Yoongi asked Taehyung, but you answered.

“Yeah, we beat you then, losers,” you grinned and Jungkook laughed at your words before he turned to the card in his hand, scanning it.

“They’re really good at this, aren’t they?” Heejin asked Taehyung and leaned into him to make sure neither Jungkook nor you could hear her. Not that you two would have anyway, far too focused on the game at hand to pay her any attention, completely forgetting that she was on your team too.

“Yeah, both are incredibly competitive, so they work well together. Like, they practically always know what the other is thinking,” Taehyung mumbled as he watched you shuffle in your seat, not noticing the way Heejin looked at him at all.

You raised your brows when you saw Jungkook freeze up upon reading the card. His jaw didn’t go slack nor did his eyes go wide, but you could see, could see right away that something was wrong.

“Uh? What’s wrong?” you started, but even then Jungkook didn’t look up, eyes fixed on the card in front of him. Slowly, the others seemed to notice too, heads turning to see a frozen Jungkook. 

“20 Seconds.”

You exchanged a glance with Taehyung, but he shrugged at you, and so, you looked at Yerim for some help as she stood right next to Jungkook. She squinted as she tried to read the card herself.

“Oh, shit,” she blurted out and pressed her hand on her mouth when she realised that she had spoken without meaning to. She looked at Jungkook, mouth opening as she struggled to decide to say something or not, but then he snapped out of it.

Jungkook glanced at Yerim’s phone in her hand and looked up to you, eyes locking with yours like before, but this time, it was different. You immediately felt that there was a shift and you had a feeling that it was bad.

“It’s, like, a place you could say.” Jungkook’s voice quivered the tiniest bit, but you noticed immediately. You raised your brows and leaned even more forward, as if you could coax the word out of Jungkook that way.

“Really big,” he continued and looked at you like you should know what he was talking about now. When you furrowed your brows at you, he sighed, “You were there for the past four years.”

“Oh.”

Your entire face dropped as the realisation dawned on you and you sat back. You felt Taehyung eyeing you with worry etched onto his face, about to say something, but Yoongi put his hand on his shoulder and shook his head. Only Heejin was more lost than ever, but you paid no one any attention, far too shocked to say anything. 

All of the memories, all of the memories connected to America and all of the pain it had caused not only you but Jungkook when you had left to go there, hit you so hard you feared whiplash. 

“5.”

You tried to say something, tried to give the answer because you knew it and you really didn’t want to lose, but somehow you just couldn’t. Your voice was gone, had disappeared. The word didn't hurt you, but you knew it hurt him, and that was one thing you didn’t want to do ever again.

“4.”

Jungkook and you kept eye contact as Yerim counted the seconds and you watched his brows furrow together and his lips press together in a thin line. He was debating internally, trying to figure out what he wanted, if the win was worth it, worth the memories and pain.

“3.”

Your eyes were fixed on him and when you saw Jungkook sigh a little and nod at you, you knew right away what he was telling you.

“2.”

You nodded at him too.

“America-”

“1.”

And even though Jungkook had told you to say it, the guilt still bubbled up and formed icicles in your lungs, piercing tiny holes in them, and you could feel the blood slowly filter in, suffocating you.

Jungkook and you kept staring at each other, and you should look away because there was no reason for both of you to be still looking at each other, but you couldn’t. 

“Does it still count?” Heejin asked, breaking the silence, and looked at Yerim.

Yerim’s eyes were trained on Jungkook and you, and only when you two tore your gazes away and looked at her, did she speak up. 

“Yeah, it counts.”

Jungkook and you whipped your heads around, looking at each other with big eyes. For a second, both of you didn’t know how to react, but then, the corners of his mouth curled up into a smile. Your lips split apart into a big grin and squeals and cheers escaped you two. You jumped up and Jungkook ran towards you, hands held up for high-fives. You reciprocated it and both of you beamed at each other.

“We won!” 

Jungkook laughed at your words and nodded, eyes softening as he watched the joy spread on your face.

“Yeah, we did.”

His words were soft, incredibly soft. A whispered secret almost. 

“Yeah, we did,” Jungkook repeated with a nod and a smile. “We did.”

You looked at Jungkook and even though you should look away again, you couldn’t. You two were locked into each other’s eyes, locked into each other’s eyes like it was just Jungkook and you in this room, in this world, in this universe, like you were falling in love with one another all over again.

And for a moment, it truly felt like that, felt like it was just him and you in this room, in this world, in this universe.

But then, his gaze flickered to Heejin.

Your eyes grew wide at the same time and your smiles almost slipped off your faces before you both turned to Heejin and let out another round of cheers and squeals.

“We won, Heejin!” Jungkook said and you held up your hand for a high-five. She blinked at both of you and you thought she was going to ask you two what the fuck that just was, confront you on forgetting her for the second half of the game, but then a smile split apart on her face.

“Yeah, isn’t that great?” she smiled and gave you a high-five.

After another round of Taboo and a few rounds of Charades and Pictionary (which you all won), you were exhausted, definitely spread thin. The adrenaline got to you, but so did actively avoiding your friends’ stares and trying not to get too swept up in the games and forgetting about Heejin again. So, when no one paid attention to you, busy with cleaning up and preparing for the next game, Werewolf, you snuck away.

“Best part of Yeri’s tiny flat, isn’t it?”

You didn’t turn around at Yoongi’s voice.

“Truly is.”

Yerim had a tiny flat, but she had a balcony. It was tucked behind the kitchen and, you had almost not seen it when you had walked in and looked for some peace and quiet. Yerim’s fridge blocked the glass door a little because, after all, the flat was tiny and so was the kitchen. 

The railing of the small balcony was lined with flowers, flowers that Yerim had texted you far too much about, flowers that had gone from blooming to dying to almost blooming to what they are now, almost dying.

Yerim had sent you pictures of the view when she had first moved in, but standing on here yourself was different. Truth be told, the view wasn’t the best, wasn’t breathtaking, nothing compared to the view you had gotten to enjoy at the restaurant, but it was enough to ground you, calm you down and give you the sense of peace and quiet you had looked for.

“You okay?”

You snapped out of your thoughts and looked at Yoongi, offering him a smile as you nodded.

“Yeah,” you said.

“That’s nice,” he hummed before leaning against the railing with his arms, careful not to hurt the flowers. “You sure, though?”

Yoongi peered up at you and you thought about his words for a moment. You had truly thought that this would be worse, that it would be awkward and weird as hell, but you had to say it wasn’t. When Jungkook turned out to be your partner (You had Yerim to thank for that. How was drawing lots to determine the teams a good idea?), you had truly thought that things were only going to go down from there. To your surprise, they didn’t.

There had been some tension between Jungkook and you, but the moment you picked up the first card and desperately tried to explain ‘Tattoos’ to him, both of you completely forgot about it, and instead worked together to win.

So, with a smile, you mirrored Yoongi’s stance, resting your elbows on the railing like him and leaning forward before letting your cheek fall into your open palm and turning to him.

“Yes, I’m sure, Yoongs,” you said. “Thanks for asking.”

Yoongi blinked at you before chuckling quietly to himself and turning his head away, eyes watching the sun dip below the horizon.

“How are you though? You okay?” you asked and watched as Yoongi let out a long and heavy sigh, eyes staying on the horizon.

“I hate this. So, wouldn’t say I’m okay.”

“You do? Sure you’re not hating this because you’re losing constantly?” you teased.

“Yes, Y/N, I do and, yes, I’m sure it’s not because I’m constantly losing. I’m not Kook or you. I don’t need to win. I don’t care that much,” Yoongi said with a roll of his eyes and another sigh. “You realise how dumb all of this is, right?”

You looked at Yoongi, raising your brows at him.

“We’re only doing this so you can act annoyed with Tae and then you two can break up or whatever, right?” he asked you and you nodded. “And that’s what’s dumb about this.”

You tilted your head at him, eyes narrowing as you tried to figure out what exactly he thought was dumb about your plan.

Yoongi sighed once more. “You realise you don’t owe Heejil, or whatever her name is, an explanation, right? Fucking just text her that you’re broken up. Or, you know, better yet, don’t tell her because, again, you don’t owe her anything. She isn’t a friend of ours. She’s just the girl your ex and our dumbass friend is dating.” 

The annoyance was dripping from his voice as you continued staring at him. “Or, like, make up some story and the next time she sees you, just tell her that. You think she’s really gonna question that? She doesn’t know when you or Tae are lying.”

You blinked at Yoongi because how had none of you thought of that before? He was right. You didn’t owe Heejin any sort of explanation, but here you were, meeting up to put on a whole show (that you didn’t even put on) to give her some sort of explanation.

Yoongi seemed to be able to hear his words click in your mind because he scoffed at you. “You guys are fucking dumbasses.”

Now, you scoffed too, scoffed at yourself because, once again, Yoongi was right. You were dumbasses and you couldn’t believe neither Taehyung nor Jungkook nor you thought of this.

“Shit.”

Yoongi chuckled and shook his head at you, the corners of his lips turned downwards.

“Yeah, shit.”

You pressed your lips together as you let Yoongi’s words fully sink in with you, dawn on you and float away.

“Hey, guys.”

Yoongi and you turned around at Yerim’s voice, straightening up in an instant. You watched her slide the glass door open, a bowl of chips pressed to her chest as she stepped out.

“What are you two doing out here?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

“Oh, we-”

“Hiding,” Yoongi stated like it wouldn’t get you two in trouble and you whipped your head around to him, hand hitting his arm as you fixed him with a glare.

“Yoongs,” you growled, but he just laughed a little and rolled his eyes at you.

“Hiding?” Yerim questioned with a raise of her brows and tapped her foot like a mother about to scold her children.

“Yeah, hiding,” Yoongi continued and gripped the railing behind him, leaning against it. “We didn’t want to subject ourselves to that bullshit out there any longer. It’s really weird out there.”

“Yoongs, don’t say that. Yeri put effort into today. It’s not that weird-”

“Nope, Yoongs is right,” Yerim sighed and uncrossed her arms, tension washing out of her in an instant. She took a handful of chips and shoved them into her mouth, and as she chewed, a pout formed on her lips. “It’s weird as fuck outside. I don’t know what we’re doing really. Like, we’re playing games and everything and I guess it’s fun or whatever, but something’s just kinda off.”

Yerim shook her head and Yoongi grabbed a couple of chips as he chuckled at her words.

“Told you,” he said and you shoved him away when he grinned into your face, not appreciating the smugness. 

“I mean,” Yerim started again before eating another handful of the chips, “you’re right. Heejin’s nice, but I honestly think she makes things weird-”

“You think it’s Heejin?” Yoongi laughed with a shake of his head before pointing at you. “It’s Y/N and Kook. They’re the ones making it weird.”

“Excuse you? How am I making it weird?” you asked with big eyes, swatting Yoongi’s hand away,

“Please,” Yoongi scoffed with a raise of his brow. “How are you not making it weird? Kook and you are totally in your own world. It’s like you two are dating again, and we’re all, like, six wheeling.”

You scoffed and stared at Yoongi with your jaw open. Your hands balled up into fists at your side and you shook your head at him.

“Bullshit,” you said. “It’s not like that at all.”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that,” Yoongi said, enjoying the way you got all worked up. And before you could stop him, he had placed his hand against your forehead. “Woah, your face’s literally heating up.”

You shoved his hand away, lips pressing together into a line as you shook your head at him and waved him off.

“Bullshit,” you pressed through gritted teeth. “It’s just the sun. It’s summer. It’s hot.”

“Yeah, sure,” Yoongi scoffed at your reasoning, and you were about to curse at him when you realised that you getting worked up was exactly what he wanted.

You turned to Yerim for backup, but she simply stared into her bowl of chips and shoved her face with it, actively avoiding your gaze. A scoff slipped past your lips and you mumbled curses aimed at Yoongi underneath your breath, deliberately ignoring the fact that it was definitely not hot enough today for your face to warm up like that.

Yoongi was ridiculous, definitely ridiculous. Jungkook and you just get carried away when you play games. You were competitive, nothing more. 

Your heart definitely only beat so hard and fast in your chest because the adrenaline was pumping through your veins, and you were only so incredibly happy about winning a stupid game of Taboo because it had been a long time since you had played against your friends, making the wins even sweeter.

It was nothing, nothing like Yoongi had said.

Jungkook and you were acting nothing like you two used to when you dated.

“Uh.”

All three of you looked up at the interruption, and your breath hitched in your throat when you saw him. He stood there, gripping the handle of the glass door as he awkwardly shifted from one foot to another. A tiny smile pulled on the corners of his lips while he looked between Yerim and Yoongi, but not you.

“Hey, Kook,” Yerim said and did this terribly awkward dance with Jungkook as she tried to step away and make some space for him, but there was none left, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little. The fact that you were upset just seconds ago was completely forgotten.

“Sorry,” you mumbled between laughs when Yerim turned around to glare at you, and you had to bite your lip to hide the grin that tugged on the corners of your lips. 

Yoongi eyed you with narrowed eyes before he shook his head and sighed. He kicked himself off the railing, and his hand landed on Yerim’s shoulder, stopping her from continuing this terrible dance with Jungkook and drawing her attention to him.

“Yeri, didn’t you want to show me this one thing that you got recently?” 

“What?” Yerim furrowed her brows at him and it took Yoongi raising his brow at her for her to get it. An uneasy and tense smile stretched across her lips before she nodded her head, far too vigorously. 

“Ah, yes, right. That, uh, thing. I- I remember. Let’s check it out, yeah?” Yerim laughed, and you frowned at her words, not believing her even for a second.

Your gaze drilled into Yoongi to ask him what the hell he was thinking he was doing, but he was avoiding your gaze expertly. And when you looked over to Yerim, she had essentially buried her face into the bowl of chips, and you wanted to throw it over your shoulder and demand her to look at you. 

Without really meaning to, your gaze travelled to Jungkook. When you looked at him, his eyes were already on you. His expression was unreadable and you didn’t know what he was thinking, but you knew that it was a bad idea for Yerim and Yoongi to leave you alone with him, knew that you didn’t want them to walk away. Because what were Jungkook and you? Back to being friends? Was it okay to laugh and tease each other now? Or was Jungkook still mad at you?

But before you could say something, Yerim and Yoongi had walked away, had left you standing alone on the balcony with Jungkook right in front of you.

He didn’t step out, didn’t join you on the balcony, and instead chose to stand at the glass door with his hand still gripping the handle. It was like he was ready to slam the door shut and walk away if things started to get a little too much for him, if this conversation didn’t turn out the way he wanted it to.

And you gnawed on your lip as he stared at you, stared at you like he had done before when you two had won your first round of Taboo. Just before the silence got too unbearable to handle and the tension too thick for you to breathe in, Jungkook opened his mouth.

“I missed you.”

Your heart stopped in your chest, stopped in your chest like maybe if it stopped, time would stop and you would get to enjoy the moment a little longer. You had no idea how long you simply blinked at Jungkook, but by the time you finally managed to get your thoughts together and properly look at him, he was shifting from one foot to another with his knuckles white around the grip of the glass door and his eyes dancing around, looking at everything except you.

“What?”

When Jungkook spoke up again, there was the slightest quiver in his voice. The slightest quiver that told you just how nervous and uncertain he was, how much he feared you laughing into his face.

“I meant it when I said it. I missed you.”

It didn’t sound like a joke, didn’t sound like he was messing with you at all, but it still took your brain seemingly forever to comprehend his words, to realise that he was completely and utterly serious.

“You did?” you asked in a whisper and Jungkook’s gaze found the floor, a breathy chuckle escaping him before he nodded.

“Yeah, I did.”

You blinked at him before your lips curled up into the softest smile.

“I did too.”

Jungkook raised his head and looked at you, and you watched the corners of his lips curl up into the most beautiful and dazzling smile. This time when he smiled at you, it was nothing like the smile he had given you when you had sat in his living room or when you had both realised you had won. No, this smile was different. It was the smile you had dreamt of every night, was the smile you had remembered every morning, was the smile you had longed to see on his lips again ever since you had first seen it.

It was the smile Jungkook showed you when he had whispered the three words for the first time, 

“I love you.”

And so, your heart surged in your chest, rose above and beyond, reached the sky and the stars, touched the sun and moon, and when she fell back down, she didn’t land in your hands. No, she landed in his hands.

“I missed having you around, you know,” Jungkook started, voice still quivering as he spoke. “I missed being able to call you up or text you and talk about everything and anything until we both just fell asleep. I missed showing up at your doorstep and going out for our midnight dinners with you. I missed laughing at other couples for stressing over Valentine before going out ourselves and being one of those stupid cheesy couples we made fun of.

“I missed having my best friend around.”

Jungkook stepped out on the balcony and closed the glass door behind him, hands at his side. There was a heavy sigh, and instantly, you knew. Slowly, his gaze met yours and he stared into your eyes with that look, that look that broke you.

“Why did you have to leave me?”

You sank your teeth into your lip and wrung your hands together, chest rising and falling far too quickly as you ran out of breath simply thinking of the answer. There was so much weighing on you, so many things you wanted to say, but couldn’t say, couldn’t because you couldn’t handle it, not even years later.

“You know why,” you breathed out, eyes searching the floor for words, for words that would escape you.

“Please, tell me again,” Jungkook asked and you wanted to ask him why he wanted to know, why he so desperately wanted to bring it all up again when he and you had done such a good job tiptoeing around it before.

“I-” You shook your head at yourself and you thought that maybe Jungkook would interrupt you and tell you he had changed his mind and didn’t want to hear it again if you paused, but his silence demanded for an answer. 

So, you gave him one, one that was worded badly and didn’t even begin to explain why you left, but it was an answer, the most you could do right now.

“I- it was my dream,” you managed to croak out and you expected a scoff, but Jungkook simply looked at you, waiting for you to continue. “It was my dream to study in America. So, I did it. I- I fulfilled my dream.”

The quietest sigh escaped Jungkook and even though you could barely hear it, you felt your heart tumble in his hands at the sound of, felt her start to slip through his fingers.

“Have I ever told you what my dream was?”

You looked up at his question  and shook your head, unable to make a single sound, not to mention say something.

Jungkook smiled to himself before he wandered over to you, feet stopping right where Yoongi had stood, next to you. And once again, you noticed the gap, the gap between him and you, the gap that seemed to never really close.

“I’ve had it since the start of high school, but unlike you, I didn’t fulfill it,” Jungkook started, eyes gazing into the sky. “I still want it and I do think I’m gonna fulfill it one day, but I don’t think I’m gonna do it the way I thought I would.”

Jungkook shook his head and you were really not sure how to process his words, or what he was trying to tell you. 

“It’s stupid and childish, I guess, but I really thought I would fulfill it, fulfill it the way I had dreamt of.” Jungkook laughed to himself before he fell quiet again.

Slowly, he turned to you, eyes glazing over as he looked at you, looked at you with his incredibly beautiful eyes. You could see the warmth, the light, the love in them, but there seemed to be something else swimming in his pupils, and you hated it when you realised what it was. 

Sadness.

You bit on your tongue as you watched the wind blow through Jungkook’s fluffy hair and mess it all up, and even then, Jungkook was still breathtakingly gorgeous. And with the sun going down behind you, the most beautiful and heartbreaking halo was cast upon him, surrounding him, hugging him.

“You were my dream, Y/N.”

Your heart didn’t fall to the ground and shatter into pieces because she tumbled too much in Jungkook’s hands. She fell to the ground and shattered into pieces because Jungkook didn’t hold on tight enough, because he couldn’t hold on tight enough.

“You and me, forever. Together. A house, a kid or two, maybe a dog. Really, anything you wanted. That was my dream,” Jungkook whispered, words slipping off his tongue quietly and slowly, like it was a secret, a secret meant to be only shared between him and you.

The corners of Jungkook’s lips curled up into the saddest smile you had ever seen when he continued, “I thought we were going to be together and grow old. I truly thought one day I would get the pleasure and honour of watching you walk down the aisle.”

Jungkook raised his hand and for a moment, it seemed like he was going to cup your face, seemed like he was going to stroke your cheek, but then, he hesitated. It was like he remembered, remembered then that you were not like that anymore, were not dating anymore.

And so, Jungkook shook his head at himself and curled his hand into a tight fist, knuckles turning a painful white before he let his hand drop and swing by his side. It was like if he didn’t curl his hand into a tight enough fist, he would lose and cup your face, stroke your cheek anyway.

“I really thought you were my dream.”

There was no malice in Jungkook’s voice as he spoke. He wasn’t trying to make you feel bad or trying to hurt you. He was simply trying to be truthful, but the truth was ugly and terrible and neither of you liked it very much. But at least, the truth didn’t hurt Jungkook, it only hurt you, only stabbed you in the chest and asked you where your goddamn heart was, only cursed at you for leaving Jungkook, the one boy who had loved you more than anything else in this world.

“Do you regret it?”

You hated that question, hated it so much because, fuck, you didn’t know. You didn’t know if you regretted it, if you regretted leaving Jungkook. You regretted that he and you broke up, regretted the way you two broke up, but did that mean you automatically regretted going to America? Did that mean that going to America was the wrong choice? 

And even though you asked yourself these questions, you didn’t want the answers, didn’t want to know them because, fuck, you were afraid of them, afraid to realise that you regretted both and you had fucked up your chance of true and lasting love with Jungkook and spent all of this time, all these years in a foreign country without your friends and family for nothing.

You lowered your head and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to keep your skull together as it threatened to split open.

In the silence, Jungkook’s steps were loud, ringing in your ears, deafening. And you contorted your face and bit on your lip when you heard Jungkook slide the glass door open, a heavy sigh slipping from his lips before he spoke up, mustering up the best smile he could,

“We’re still gonna bully Yoongs for bullying us, right?”

You chuckled because how could you not? Of course, Jungkook could still make you laugh. It was a sad chuckle, but it was a chuckle no one else could have ever elicited from you.

You lifted your head  and peered at Jungkook over your shoulder, peered at him even though it hurt you to. He was just too beautiful to not look at.

“Yeah, we’ll still bully Yoongs for bullying us.”

You almost didn’t see the way the corners of Jungkook’s lips curled up into something that resembled a smile, almost didn’t see it with the tears swimming in your eyes, blurring your vision.

“Amazing.”

Jungkook nodded at you, fingers tapping the glass door before he turned around and walked away. And even though you shouldn’t, you watched him, watched him slip away more and more, watched him walk away from you.

You turned back around and only realised then that the sun had almost completely dipped below the horizon. The sky was painted an incredibly mellow and sorrowful orange, and even with your heart shattered on the floor and guilt leaving gaping holes in your chest, you had to smile.

And with that smile on your lips, the tears rolled down your cheeks, sparkling in the sunlight as you let them flow, flow because you didn’t see a reason to wipe them away. Sometimes it was good to just cry, let yourself feel.

“Tell me you’re not crying.”

His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, but you heard them. You pressed your lips together at his words because, of course, he would also come out to talk to you. You really should have expected it, should have expected it because he was simply that great.

“Well, guess you gotta give me a second then,” you said and rubbed on your cheeks, quickly wiping away the tears you knew were going to have his blood boiling and anger unfurling in his stomach.

“Y/N,” Taehyung sighed as he stepped out on the balcony, glass door clicking shut behind you as his hand gripped your elbow and turned you around. 

“What did he say?” You shook your head, smiling at him as much as possible, but your smile did nothing to soothe the deep line between Taehyung’s brow, did nothing to loosen the grip he had around your elbow.

“Tell me. I don’t care if he’s my friend, he’s-”

“No, stop,” you interrupted with a shake of your head and placed your hands on his shoulder, lips splitting into a grin because truly, Taehyung was the greatest, the greatest friend you could have ever wished or asked for. “It’s nothing. He didn’t say anything.”

You knew with the way Taehyung was eyeing you that he didn’t believe you, didn’t believe you for a single second, but you also knew that you could spend hours trying to convince him otherwise and he still wouldn’t believe you.

“You sure you don’t need me to beat him up a little?”

You laughed. “You think you can beat him up?”

Taehyung scoffed at your words and tried his hardest to look offended, but even he had to smile a little. 

“I’d try for you,” he said and you laughed again, shaking your head from left to right. The thought of a beaten up Taehyung popping right into your head.

“Let’s be honest here, he would just beat you up. No offence.”

Now, Taehyung laughed as well, laughed because he knew you were right. And for a moment, both of you only smiled at each other. For a moment, things seemed great and like he wouldn’t bring it up again that you had just been crying.

But just like a wise man once had said, great things always have to come to an end. 

“You shouldn’t feel guilty.”

Taehyung’s smile disappeared and your hands slid off his shoulder. You sighed, knowing exactly what he was talking about even though he didn’t specify. 

You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths before humming and peeling your eyes open, head cocking to the side.

“Well, I also shouldn’t stay up so late and get more sleep, but here I am.” Your attempt of humour wasn’t well received at all. Taehyung didn’t even fake a smile at you, and you quickly let yours slip away, realising the weight of the situation and just how serious he was.

“Y/N, I mean it. You shouldn’t feel guilty,” Taehyung said, stressing every word of his last sentence like he wanted to drill it into your head, like he wanted for you to remember it, like he wanted to tattoo it into your skin so you would never forget. 

“It’s not that easy,” you said in a quiet whisper and Taehyung pursed his lips, hands burying into his pockets as he suppressed the sigh from slipping.

“But it’s not like you try either, right? Not like you try to free yourself from all of that guilt,” Taehyung argued and you almost groaned because, once again, he showed you that he had no idea.

“Taehyung, it’s really not that easy. I can’t just wake up and say ‘Well, it’s his fault that he got hurt-’”

“That’s not what I’m asking from you. Yes, you can’t wake up and say that, but you can wake up and say ‘It sucks that Jungkook got hurt by me leaving and was unable to properly forgive me for not telling him earlier, but aside from that I didn’t do anything wrong because I simply chased my dream.’. I’m not asking you to wake up and be all ‘Jungkook can suck a dick.’. That’d be ridiculous, but I’m asking you to stop blaming yourself.”

You tore your gaze away and crossed your arms in front of your chest as you suddenly realised how mesmerising Yerim’s flowers were.

“It’s trying, trying to feel less guilty. That’s what I’m asking from you. And I realise it’s a process, but for the love of God, can you start it?” Taehyung said and tried to get you to look at him again, but you whipped your head around. 

“None of you understand,” you whispered and Taehyung scoffed, hands running through his hair as he tried not to snap.

“But we do!” Taehyung groaned and you turned around to look at him, ready to shut him up and tell him how exactly he was wrong, but he continued, “You seriously think that Yoongs or Yeri or I weren’t hurt by the news of you leaving? You seriously think that we weren’t mad too? You seriously think it was easy for us to go to the airport and wish you well? No!”

Taehyung gestured wildly around himself, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath, as he tried not to shake you and yell into your face to wake the fuck up.

“It wasn’t. It sucked because while, yes, none of us dated you, we still loved you,” Taehyung said, leaning forward to stress his words. “We were hanging out every day for four years, spending every minute together, and then suddenly, at the start of our last summer, you tell us you’re going to America?”

You swallowed heavily and bit on your tongue.

“It wasn’t easy and it fucking sucked, but we still wanted the best for you, still wanted you to go because we knew just how much you wanted to and how much you had worked for it. You deserved it, truly,” Taehyung said, voice growing soft as he calmed down a little. 

“It was why we did go to the airport with you and wished you well,” Taehyung spat out and for a moment, he stopped, paused and put his hands on his hips, eyes piercing through yours as you struggled to hold his gaze.

“Do you realise that you haven’t said his name?”

You blinked at Taehyung, unable to say anything as a lump lodged itself into your throat, growing bigger and bigger with every word that left him.

“I don’t think you’ve said ‘Jungkook’ or ‘Kook’ even once except for that time when we first saw Kook in the restaurant,” Taehyung said and you really thought he wouldn’t realise. “You feel so guilty you can’t even say his name. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

You uncrossed your arms and let them slip to your side, eyes darting across the floor as you tried to find your words, but you couldn’t.

“And what hurts and frustrates me the most aside from the fact that you will not recognise that your guilt is, in fact, ridiculous, is that Kook treats you like shit. And he’s so rude to you even though you go out of your way to fucking dice his cucumbers, even though you and I are fake dating for him, even though you organised this entire thing to break up with me so Heejin will never find out that all of this is a lie and you’re in actuality Kook’s ex.”

Taehyung was heaving at the end, chest rising and falling as the world spilled from his lips like an overflowing bucket. He levelled you with a gaze and a few seconds passed by before he spoke up again. But this time he wasn’t on the edge of yelling, this time his voice wasn’t dripping of urgency and frustration, this time he was calm.

“Look, I’m not saying that you did nothing wrong and that Kook has no right to be mad at you at all.” You pressed your lips together. “You did just leave, did just apply for that scholarship without telling us beforehand. That sucked, and you shouldn’t have done that. You should have at least told him.”

Taehyung ran a hand through his hair as he gazed off into the sky, eyes squinting when he looked right into the disappearing sun.

“But it doesn’t mean that it’s okay for him to act the way he does. You’ve both fucked up, but it’s been years.”

You leaned against the railing and let out a long sigh, eyes wandering to Taehyung. He offered you a smile and while you felt the corners of your lips quiver and your lungs ache, you smiled back at him. 

“You two obviously have a lot to work through,” Taehyung said and you threw your head back into your neck, gaze finding the sky.

“Where do I start?”

And without missing a beat, Taehyung answered,

“Start by forgiving yourself.”

When Taehyung came home that night after dropping you off, he found Jungkook in the kitchen, McDonalds bag sitting on the dining table.

“Got anything for me?” Taehyung asked as he made his way over to Jungkook, sitting down opposite of him and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Jungkook didn’t respond or look at Taehyung, simply putting down his burger on the wrapper that functioned as a makeshift plate before rummaging through the brown bag and tossing a cheeseburger at Taehyung.

“You took Heejin home?” Taehyung asked as he peeled the wrapper away, wondering how Jungkook had made it home before him when he had been at McDonalds before. 

“Uh, she insisted on going home herself. Called her an uber,” Jungkook mumbled between bites and Taehyung stopped unwrapping his burger for a moment to eye him before nodding and continuing. 

“I’m sure everything’s fine,” Taehyung said, trying to make Jungkook feel better, but he shrugged and didn’t really react. 

Interpreting Jungkook’s silence as him not wanting to talk, Taehyung didn’t say anything more and focused on the food in front of him, biting into his burger that was disgustingly cold now, but after the night he had, any food was welcomed, even if it tasted of artificial flavouring and left his throat dry.

And for the next few minutes, Jungkook and he sit in silence, eating. At one point, Jungkook reached for his second burger, tossing Taehyung another one even though he hadn’t finished his nor asked for one. Two bites into his new burger, Jungkook paused and stared at some point in front of him, just not at Taehyung.

“She broke up with me.”

Taehyung looked up, but Jungkook kept his eyes trained in front of him.

“Heejin broke up with me.”

A second passed before Taehyung put down his burger and straightened up. He wasn’t surprised because Yoongi had been right when he had told you that Jungkook and you had been in another world. A blind man could have seen that there was something between Jungkook and you.

“You okay?” Taehyung offered and forgot that he was, deep down, still mad at Jungkook, forgot that Jungkook still made him want to rip out his own hair. 

Jungkook scoffed before dropping his burger. It landed halfway on the wrapper and halfway not, but he didn’t care enough to adjust it. He leaned back and covered his face with his hands, fingers digging into his eyes.

Taehyung was about to make his way over to Jungkook, about to pull him into his arms because he was clearly not doing well, but before he could even move a single centimetre, Jungkook’s hands fell away and he looked up to him.

“Yeah, I am.”

It sounded like Jungkook couldn’t believe himself, like he was angry and frustrated with himself for being able to say that he was okay and mean it, like he wanted to be the opposite, crying and bawling instead.

“I’m okay,” Jungkook said, head shaking from left to right as he furrowed his brows and scoffed at himself. “How am I okay? How am I okay when Heejin, my fucking girlfriend, just broke up with me?”

Taehyung blinked at Jungkook, knowing exactly that he needed to rant right now, needed to get all of the words out.

“She told me to get her an uber and after I did, she turned to me and said that she thought we should break up,” Jungkook recounted, eyes unblinking. “Just like that. We broke up just like that.”

He rubbed his eyes and groaned before snapping out of it and looking back at Taehyung.

“I- I didn’t even fight her on it when she told me to call her an uber. I just did. I did as she told me to, but- but as her boyfriend, I shouldn’t have, right? I should have insisted on driving her home, but I didn’t. I- I knew I should have. I was screaming at myself to, but I just couldn’t. And when she told me we should break up-” Jungkook paused and gestured around like that would finish his sentence. “I, again, didn’t fight her on it.”

A bitter scoff escaped him and Taehyung watched Jungkook shake his head at himself, obviously confused by himself. “Instead of insisting to talk about it or whatever, I just went to fucking McDonalds.” Jungkook punched the bag and it tipped over, slow and sad. “I went to McDonalds! Can you fucking believe? Instead of driving home my girlfriend or fighting for my relationship, I just said okay and went to get food at the shittest place ever.”

Jungkook gestured around himself wildly, hands flailing around like he was drowning and trying to gasp for air. His voice grew in volume and the desperation and frustration seemed to thicken more and more, lacing his every word as he rambled on.

“And it all just doesn’t make sense because it’s not like I don’t care. I do. I do care about Heejin, but it’s just- it’s just-” Jungkook shook his head and pressed his lips into a thin line as he scanned the room for the rest of his sentence. “I just don’t know anymore. I don’t even know why she broke up with me.”

When Jungkook looked at Taehyung, it hurt him to see the frustration swimming in his eyes, hurt him to see how helpless he was. And so, Taehyung sighed and sat up even straighter, gaze levelling Jungkook’s.

“Do you love Heejin?”

“She’s my girlfriend.”

“Was,” Taehyung corrected with a raise of a finger. “But that doesn’t answer my question, Jungkook-” 

Jungkook furrowed his brows at him and shook his head at him.

“What? It does answer your question,” Jungkook said, staring at Taehyung like he had just said the most ridiculous thing ever. “She is- was, whatever, my girlfriend, so, of course, I love her.”

Taehyung scrunched up his nose at Jungkook’s answer and slid his burger to the side to lean forward and be a little closer to Jungkook, needing to look right into his eyes as he said the next word.

“Do you, though?”

Taehyung didn’t give Jungkook a chance to answer.

“Do you seriously love Heejin or do you assume you do because she was your girlfriend?”

Taehyung eyed Jungkook as the words sank into the air and dawned on him, as they replayed over and over again in his head, as they started to push through everything inside him and reached his heart.

“Jungkook, don’t you think there was a reason why Heejin and you had been dating for almost six months and we hadn’t met her yet? Don’t you think there was a reason why you never told her about Y/N?”

He looked at Taehyung, his gaze hazy and clouded with questions. Jungkook had no idea, had no idea why Heejin had broken up with him. She had simply smiled at him and wished him well before getting into the uber, no reason. But he also hadn’t tried to stop her from getting inside and demanded an answer. He had just accepted it with a nod and gotten into his car.

But now, with Taehyung looking at him, gaze digging deep into his, he started to think, started to replay the events of this evening, started to dissect every interaction today. 

He thought about how you all had played Taboo, thought about how you had smiled at him when he had gotten the first word, thought about how you had essentially beamed at him when you two had gotten closer and closer to the win, thought about how you had squealed and jumped up when you had realised you had won, thought about how beautiful you had looked standing on the balcony with the wind blowing through your hair and the sun highlighting your beauty, thought about how he wanted to hold you close to him when he saw you standing there, thought about how you had smiled at him when you had told him you had missed him too, thought about how you were the only thing he could think of.

“I love Y/N.”

The corners of Taehyung’s lips curled up and he nodded.

“I still love, Y/N.”

And once again, Taehyung nodded.

Jungkook slumped into his chair, hands in his lap as he stared at some chip in the dining table, mind far, far away. Never had he been this confused before, never had he ever struggled this much to process anything before.

But at the same time, it made sense, made sense that he was still in love with you. How could he not be? How could he not be when you were the only one that had ever made him so happy that the corners of his lips had started hurting from all of the grinning and his stomach aching from all of the laughing and his lungs screaming for oxygen? How could he not be when you were the smartest, kindest, funniest. most talented, brilliant, inspiring and prettiest person he had ever met?

It made so much sense that Jungkook was still deeply in love with you after all this time, it hurt his brain.

And so, he stayed silent, stayed silent even as Taehyung reached over and bit into his burger after finishing his own.

“What do I do?”

Jungkook surprised himself when he spoke, not intending to, but once the words were out, he wanted the answer. Taehyung put Jungkook’s burger down on his own pile of cheeseburger wrappers and brushed his hands off.

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to tell her. I want to try again. I want to hold her in my arms and kiss her until the sun rises-”

“Okay, calm down, Kook,” Taehyung laughed and leaned back into his chair. “I get it. You wanna rush over to her and profess your love to her in this grand romantic gesture, but take a moment and think about it, about everything.”

Jungkook lowered his gaze and looked up after two seconds, chest pressed against the edge of the table and legs itching to carry him to you.

“You think she’s still up-”

“No,” Taehyung cut in and pointed at Jungkook, burger abandoned to the side once more as he leaned forward. The smile that had pulled on his lips before disappeared.

“Kook, I need you to think about how you’ve treated Y/N these past weeks.” Jungkook straightened up and his legs tucked themselves under the chair when the memories came crashing down on him. “Really think about it.”

And so, this time, Jungkook did think about it, did take a moment and let all of your interaction run through his mind. And the longer he did, the longer he thought about what he had said to you and how he had treated you, the more he wanted to punch himself, the more he wanted to turn back time, the more he wanted to fall to his knees and beg you to forgive him, beg you to just please not hate him.

Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, fingers clawing on the roots as he cursed himself.

“Bad, isn’t it?” Taehyung said and cocked his head to the side. 

“What do I do?”

“Well, I’d apologise first if I were you and I’d take all responsibility for what, well, you’ve done. And I’d tell her that if she doesn’t feel the way I do, that it’s fine and I will do anything in my power to not make it awkward for her and the fact that she’s friends with my friends.”

Jungkook hummed, hummed because he really couldn’t do anything else. He just couldn’t believe how blinded he had been, how blinded he had been by all of that ugly and unresolved anger and pain.

Taehyung let Jungkook think for a while, think before he leaned forward again and said what he had been trying so desperately to tell him, what he had been trying to get through his thick skull all this time.

“But before that, Kook, I need you to realise that when she made your promise of forever, you were teens. Remember how dumb and stupid we were back then? And I know you felt like Y/N was being selfish and leaving you behind to go study in America, but in reality, she was following her dreams. And you thought that those dreams didn’t include you, but they did. You were the one that broke up with her. She did not break up with you. You did.”

Taehyung paused for a second, arms crossing in front of his chest. 

“You decided to not be in her dreams.”

You banged on the door, banged on it like you were about to kick it in, banged on it like your life depended on it, and when it finally opened, you almost banged on his chest, fist stopping mid-air.

“Who the fuck- Y/N? What are you doing here? It’s five in the morning- wait, why are you all wet? Did you run through the rain?”

You shoved your phone into his face and he squinted, your screen blinding him. The overhead light above you did barely anything to illuminate the hallway you were standing in, leaving both of you essentially in darkness. 

It took him a few seconds, a lot of blinking and wrapping his fingers around your wrist to hold your phone away to finally see what you were showing him.

[heejin - 11:21 PM] : hi! I wasnt sure if I should tell you this or not and I honestly contemplated not to

[heejin - 11:21 PM] : but at the end, I think you should know

[heejin - 11:21 PM] : I’m not too sure what exactly is going on between kook and you, but for what it’s worth, kook and I broke up

[heejin - 11:22 PM] : I hope you two figure out whatever is between you two because I do think you two would be cute. you definitely got my blessing!

[heejin - 11:22 PM] : dream team ;)

Your knuckles turned white around your phone before you let your arm drop to your side. Your heart was pounding in your chest, pounding so much that you were certain that she was trying to leap out of it and fall into his hands again.

Jungkook blinked at you, mouth agape as he struggled to find his voice, struggled to take you all in because did you really stand in front of him, soaked to the bones, hair all tangled up and wet from the rain, chest heaving like you had run all of the way here or was he simply dreaming? Did he finally fall asleep?

“Did I wake you up?” you panted and shifted from one foot to another, expecting him to slam the door in your face.

“N-no, I, uh, I wasn’t sleeping,” Jungkook said and you looked at him before nodding and letting your gaze travel to the side. Your brows pinched together and Jungkook was about to invite you in because, again, you were soaked to the bones, but then, you took a deep breath and opened your mouth.

Here goes nothing.

“Look, Jungkook, I debated with myself for the past four or so hours whether or not I should come here. And then, it started to rain, and, well, I know that you love your romcoms. And even though I also know you probably wanna be the one to execute the grand romantic gesture because you are you and you love so fucking deeply and wholly, I decided that I’m gonna do this because, well, you deserve it.

“When I left for America, I- I truly thought I was going to move on from you at one point, thought you were going to turn into an old love, a memory. I thought that one day I’d tell my grandkids about you, Jungkook, and how you were my first love and how happy you had made me and how bitter our ending had been, but,” you shook your head, “but the truth is, you still have such a hold on my heart. You’re still vibrant and alive in my mind, imprinted in there.

“And I know I’ve hurt you by leaving, but I didn’t leave because I stopped loving you, Jungkook,” tears filled your eyes, “I left because having you, having you by my side, as my boyfriend, Jungkook, made me believe that anything was possible, made me want to reach for the stars, fulfill my dreams because before America, you were my dream. You were the one thing I had wanted for so long, and then, I had you. Then, you were mine, and I was on cloud nine.

“I’ve felt so guilty all this time and beaten myself up for leaving because you were obviously still so angry and hurt by that, and unlike what you might believe, I never wanted that, never wanted to hurt you in any way. I need you to understand that I didn’t leave because you weren’t enough. You were and are enough, Jungkook. I left because you made the impossible seem possible, and so, I thought you’d be my side forever, even if oceans and continents and whatever were between us.

“And I realise that was selfish, selfish of me to just expect you to be fine with it. I should have talked to you, told you about the scholarship and my plans and not broken our promise like that. But I didn’t, and I made you think that everybody is selfish and that you weren’t enough. But that’s not true.” You shook your head and swallowed heavily, trying not to choke on your own tears. “Jungkook, you taught me that people are wonderful and amazing and you made me feel like I was more than enough, beyond enough. And you deserve to feel the same way, so, I’m deeply sorry for failing to do just that and for leaving without a proper explanation and talking to you beforehand.

“I know you probably don’t wanna hear this because you probably hate me now, but even if you decide to slam the door in my face and curse me out for the rest of my life after this and forget about all that I’ve said, I want you to know one thing. 

“I love you. I love you so much it hurts, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop, not even if you hate me.”

Jungkook looked at you, gazed into your eyes, and truly, you thought time stopped. You waited, waited for him to say or do something and it felt like eternities were flying past you as you stood there, blinking at him. And even with tears in your eyes, blurring your vision, you could see him clearly, could see Jungkook standing right in front of you.

“Y/N, oh, my love,” Jungkook started, voice shaky before he took a step closer to you. His hand reached up and he cupped your face. Your cheek was cold, cold from the rain, but the moment he touched you, you felt warmth push through you, through your chest, felt the remnants of icicles melt away in your lungs.

“Please, don’t apologise. I should be apologising to you, should be the one banging on your door and begging for your forgiveness. I don’t hate you. I could never truly hate you.” Jungkook swallowed, voice cracking as the words continued spilling from him without a pause. “I- I’m the one that fucked up so badly, I don’t even know how you can still love me. I hurt you so much, said so much dumb shit and made you feel so fucking guilty when you shouldn’t have felt guilty.” He shook his head at himself and held onto you a little tighter like he was scared you were going to slip away if he didn’t. “I’m so sorry, my love, for being so incredibly blinded by anger and pain for so long. I’m so sorry for hurting you and making you feel like you needed to apologise to me.

“Tae is right. I should have taken you to the airport and wished you well. I should have been there with the others and said goodbye. I shouldn't have screamed at you and stayed at home-”

“Kook, babe, no,” you choked out and grabbed his wrist, holding onto it as you shook your head at him. “Don’t apologise. I- I should have talked to you before. You had every right to be mad at me. I understand why you didn’t go. I understand why you couldn’t do it. It’s fine-”

“But I don’t want it to be fine,” Jungkook interrupted and your fingers tightened around his wrists. “I don’t want it to be fine because I know I hurt you by not being there. And I never want it to be fine or okay or whatever if I hurt you.”

Jungkook and you looked at one another, vision blurry and just as the first tear began spilling from the corner of your eye, you took a step towards Jungkook, closing the gap that had lingered between you two and pressed your lips to his.

You kissed Jungkook, kissed him standing on the doorstep of his front door, kissed him standing there, soaked to the bones, kissed him like it was just you and him in this universe. Your body leaned into his and your hands were desperate for him, desperate to just touch him. You grabbed onto whatever skin and piece of Jungkook you could get, and he did the same, but your kiss was soft and calm, the opposite of your hands. You held onto you like you were drowning, like you were Rose and Jack.

You moved your lips against his and your smile grew the longer you kissed Jungkook. And you wondered if he could also feel the sun shine in his chest, if he could also taste the honey and sugar and love trapped between your teeth, if his skin was also prickling everywhere you touched him, if fireworks were also exploding in his stomach like they were in yours, if this was enough of a grand romantic gesture for him.

You wondered if Jungkook could feel just how much you loved him.

The sun rose behind you two, and when you two pulled away to breathe, you smiled at each other. 

Jungkook didn’t let go of you and neither did you. He cupped your face once more and pulled you close to him. Your breath mixed with his, heavy and varied, but it was all good, all good because smiles were on your lips, all good because you had each other again.

“My love,” Jungkook breathed, and gazed into your eyes the way he had when you had won that round of Taboo and smiled at you the way he had when he and you had stood on the balcony. “I love you.”

“Kook, babe,” you started, pecking his nose before beaming at him, beaming at him like you had used to, beaming at him because he was your sun and your dream. “I love you more.”

Jungkook leaned in for a quick kiss, leaned in the same way he used to whenever his heart pounded a little too much in his chest. And you pressed right back against him, lips finding his, and you knew,

Jungkook was warmth.

Jungkook was home.

Jungkook was love.

“Fucking finally.”

Jungkook and you pulled apart and jerked around to the source of the sound, and when you saw them standing there, behind you, your heart stopped mid-beat. Your jaw went slack as you blinked at them, unable to process what was happening right now.

“Worth it, right?” 

Jungkook and you whipped your heads around one more time, and it was then that you saw Taehyung standing behind you, hands shoved into his pockets and body leaned against the door to the living room.

“Eh, was kinda obvious that this was gonna happen at one point,” Yoongi mumbled with a shrug, clearly unbothered, but Yerim was the complete opposite, hands pressed to her mouth as she tried to stop the squeal from spilling free.

“Oh my God!” she shrieked, voice so high it hurt and Jungkook and you cringed. “I- I’ve been literally dreaming of this!”

“So, worth it, right? Coming here?” Taehyung asked again and squeezed himself between Jungkook and you to step out into the hallway, prompting you to move to the side a little.

“Yes, absolutely!” Yerim grinned and nodded vigorously, and for a moment, you thought her head was going to come off.

“What’s happening right now?” you asked and your hands found Jungkook’s, your fingers lacing with his for some kind of support.

“Oh, yeah, I heard you banging on the door, so, I called up Yoongs and Yeri and told them to get their asses here because our best friends don’t get back together without everybody here to witness it,” Taehyung explained with a shrug.

“Wait, how did you two make it here in time?” Jungkook asked, thumb brushing over your hand as he stepped closer to you to look at Yoongi and Yerim.

“Yeah, unlike what you might think, Kook, traffic isn’t always so bad and there aren’t always fires around,” Yoongi smirked and Jungkook gasped behind you. 

Taehyung, Yerim and you looked at each other, jaws going slack before you started grinning and all three of you had to bite your lips to stop the laughter from spilling free. Jungkook tugged on your hand and you tried your hardest not to laugh, but when you looked at him, you just couldn’t stop it.

Pearls of laughter spilled out and you took Taehyung and Yerim with you. Taehyung placed his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder and gave him a comforting squeeze, and Yerim hid behind Yoongi, trying her hardest to avoid Jungkook’s gaze.

And even though he was offended and tried to keep looking like he was truly offended, he couldn’t help but laugh with you all, couldn’t help himself when he saw you grinning at him like that.

“Can we go now?” Yoongi smiled when you all had calmed down, the bags under his eyes darkening with every second he wasn’t in his bed. “It’s five in the morning and usually, I’m in bed during this time.”

Taehyung smiled at him. “Only if you say, it was worth it.”

Yoongi groaned and threw his head into his neck, not enjoying that answer at all. Yerim giggled and nudged him with her elbow, but instead of just saying it was worth it, Yoongi decided to argue with Taehyung.

“It was so obvious that they were gonna get together again. I honestly wouldn’t have minded if you hadn’t called me.”

“Min Yoongi, are you seriously telling me that you wouldn’t have minded missing out on our best friends getting back together?”

“Honestly? Yeah.”

“He’s lying. Yoongs loves Kook and Y/N together.”

“What’re you talking about, Yeri? I don’t-”

“Do I have to remind you that you texted me last week that you couldn’t believe that they weren’t back together yet?”

“Oh, Yoongs, that’s so cute.”

“Why would you believe her, Tae? It’s bullshit!”

Too busy watching Taehyung, Yerim and Yoongi argue with each other, you didn’t notice Jungkook turning away. So, when you suddenly felt cotton brush against your arms, you were more than surprised.

“What?” you blurted out before looking down at yourself and seeing one of Jungkook’s jackets around your body. 

“Thought you might be cold. You know, with all of that running through the rain and everything,” Jungkook hummed with a shrug and you stared at him for a little before you smiled at him again. You leaned up and pressed a quick kiss against his lips, a kiss that had the corners of his lips curling into the most beautiful smile.

You hugged Jungkook’s jacket closer to your body, trying to keep that warmth in your chest locked down. The smell of his detergent and sweat mixed with your senses and you felt all dizzy, but it was the good kind of dizzy, the kind of dizzy you loved, the kind of dizzy only Jungkook could ever make you feel.

And when he wrapped his arms around you, you quickly wrapped your arms around him too. Your lips brushed against his neck and you left a kiss there, trying to make sure that he would never ever forget that he was more than enough, never ever forget that you loved him like nobody else in this world.

And with his arms around your body, you, once again, felt like the impossible was possible, like the stars were yours to grab, like nothing could ever come between you, but unlike before, you knew that this time, it was all true.

“I love you,” you hummed into Jungkook’s ear and he smiled into your hair before tightening his arms around you.

“And I love you.”

Jungkook and you gazed into each other’s eyes, sunlight sparkling in your pupils before you both slowly leaned into each other, more and more. Your eyes flickered down to his lips and you knew that any second now, he would kiss you. And the thought alone had your heart racing and your breath hitching and your hands shaking but in the best ways possible. And right as your lips were about to connect,

“Fine!” Yoongi grunted and silenced Taehyung and Yerim, cutting them mid-sentence and Jungkook and you mid-kiss. “It was worth it. I missed Kook and Y/N and I’m more than overjoyed to see them together again! My heart is literally melting in my chest and I can’t wait to go home because I wanna shriek and scream into my pillow!”

Jungkook and you turned your heads around to see a panting Yoongi. His eyes were big and nostrils flared as he glared at Taehyung and Yerim.

“Happy now?” he asked through gritted teeth and he looked between Taehyung and Yerim, who were exchanging glances with each other. There was a beat of silence and a second later, the two burst out into laughter. Jungkook and you had to grin too, but you still shook your heads at your friends, the situation far too ridiculous.

“Hey, Yoongs,” Jungkook called over your head before looking at you. When you nodded at him, he turned back to Yoongi, who was, at this point, fuming and mumbling to himself, cheeks red. “You can go home now.”

“Thank you!” Yoongi grumbled and threw his hands into the air, but before he could turn around and drive home with his cheeks and the tips of his ears bright red, Jungkook interjected,

“But you are a dumb, little bitch.”

Yoongi’s jack went slack as he furrowed his brows at Jungkook, more than caught off guard by the sudden insult. It was clear he was struggling to process it, but so were Taehyung, Yerim and you, all three of you going silent at Jungkook’s words.

It took you a moment to understand why Jungkook had said what he had said, and when you did, you burst out into laughter.

You gasped for air as you threw your head back, laughter rippling through your chest, and Jungkook joined you, bending over as he laughed his heart out as well. And soon enough, Taehyung joined you two, finally making the connection himself. Yerim started laughing as well, but only because Taehyung, Jungkook and you were laughing.

Yoongi was left blinking at you three as he struggled to decide whether he was offended or amused, and judging from the smile tugging on the corners of his lips, it was the latter.

“Not like that,” you said with a shake of your head and Jungkook shrugged at you.

“What? Isn’t that we were talking about when we said to bully Yoongs?” he asked with that proud smirk on his lips, that proud smirk he always got whenever he managed to make people laugh. Taehyung and you shook your heads at him, both definitely not thinking of calling Yoongi ‘a dumb, little bitch’ when you had agreed to bully him a little. 

It took a while, but soon your laughter died down, but the grins stayed on your lips.

“Definitely not like that,” Taehyung agreed with you, fingers wiping away the tears, and you three locked eyes with each other, grinning, no, beaming. 

Yoongi sighed after he had enough of whatever this was, and turned on his heel, but once again, before he could go, Jungkook interjected,

“Hey, I think you should all just crash here. It’s, well, early and probably better for you two to not get behind the wheel right now.”

Yoongi opened his mouth to protest, but then, he stopped himself and paused, gaze levelling Jungkook’s.

“I get your bed?”

“Sure thing, I’ll kick you out of it,” Jungkook grinned and even though that had not been the response he had wanted, Yoongi shuffled inside, Yerim right behind him.

“I’m happy you guys are back together,” she told you two as she walked past you and you grinned at Jungkook, a grin he returned right away.

Taehyung let out a sigh, lips still pulled into a smile before he, too, shuffled inside, gaze meeting yours when he did. 

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, seriously. Thanks,” Jungkook hummed and Taehyung laughed before waving you two off, dismissing your words with a flick of his hand.

“No need to thank me,” Taehyung grinned. “I’m just happy that you two are back together.”

Both of you wanted to disagree, but Taehyung silenced you with a smile. And right as he was about to turn into the living room to figure out where Yerim and Yoongi were going to sleep, he looked over his shoulder and met Jungkook’s and your gaze.

“You can name your firstborn after me if you’re truly thankful.” A pause. “Taehyung Jeon. Doesn’t sound too bad, right?”

“You think we would name our firstborn after you?”

“You think I would take Kook’s last name?” 

Jungkook gasped next to you and took a step back, hand gripping your elbow to draw your attention to him. His brows were slightly furrowed together and his mouth agape.

“What’s that supposed to mean? What’s wrong with Jeon?” he asked and you stared at him.

“Gonna leave you two alone now,” Taehyung laughed, not wanting to see where that conversation was going, and joined Yerim and Yoongi in the living room.

“Nothing. Don’t you worry about it,” you said with a smile and stroked Jungkook’ cheek, and instantly, he melted into your touch, frown washing away. “It’s fine. It’s a nice last name.”

You pinched Jungkook’s cheeks, making him pull away and just as he was about to complain and tell you not to pinch his cheek, you continued,

“You know, fine and nice for now.”

Jungkook’s eyes grew big at your words and before he could ask you what exactly you meant with that, (because you knew he was going to. It was Jungkook after all.), you closed the door behind you two. You patted his chest and took his hand to lead him to the others, but he stopped you, pulling you back to him, smirk on his lips.

“You wanna fulfill Tae’s wish?” Jungkook asked with a quirk of his brow and you looked at him, lips pressing into a line. When you didn’t respond, the smirk fell away, prompting you to smile at him again. 

“Let’s join the others, yeah?” you said with a wink, enjoying teasing him a little too much. You didn’t wait for an answer and turned on your heel, but once again, Jungkook stopped you.

“How about we fulfill my dream, then?” 

Jungkook looked at you with the same smirk on his face again, and before you could stop yourself, you laughed at him, shaking your head from left to right. You leaned up to him and planted a kiss on his cheek before patting his chest and walking backwards, pointing at him as you did.

“Just get me a towel.” 

→  links don’t work, but don’t forget to message me with any thoughts/feedback! i’d love to hear it!

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Ten. Faces

warnings: swearing, hate comments word count: 4.1k (not including pics)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: sorry its late!!!! this feels rushed but i was just too excited to get to some parts!!! also i have had some parts written out for SO long that they dont even feel cute to me anymore so im literally praying to every deity rn that you guys think its cute lmao anyway enjoy!!!!

**********

It had been about a week since Karl's slip up but everything was already more normal than Y/n had expected it to be. Of course, George, Sapnap and Quackity were all very understanding and gave her space while simultaneously reassuring her that she was safe with them. She fully believed it too, she knew she was safe with them and they weren't going to tell anyone her name.

The one unusual thing was now she had a heavy guilt, like someone dropped another sandbag in her stomach, every time Dream texted her. If the others knew, it was only fair that she tell him her name too, right? I mean, it's Dream. Dream! The boy who had quickly slipped his way into her life and, though she wouldn't admit it to Karl or Naomi, her heart.

But how? Does she just come right out and say it or wait until it gets brought up? She hadn't practiced telling anyone her name because she wasn't planning on doing it any time soon. Though, maybe she should have been seeing as she was going to see them all in person in a little over a month.

Regardless of the guilt, Y/n had other things to worry about today; Quackity was coming to visit. Karl had picked him up from the airport and the two of them spent all day catching up and doing who knows what but Y/n still hadn't met him. She was scared. She wasn't scared of Quackity, but scared because it was the first time one of her online friends would be able to put a face to her name and voice.

Y/n shuffled across her living room rug and reached for her phone on the coffee table, looking for some sort of distraction while she waited for them to arrive.

-

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled, shaking her head as she threw her phone on the couch. Okay, he's right. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. It's just Quackity. If he said anything rude or annoying or anything she could literally just step on him like a bug.

A sharp knock on the front door of her apartment snapped her back into reality. She shook her limbs of nervousness as she made her way to the door, two familiar voices begging to be acknowledged from the other side.

"Let us iiinnn!! Y/nnn!!!!" Karl whined.

After countless times asking the same question, she finally convinced Karl that she was okay with him using her real name in front of Quackity. He clearly still felt guilty about telling the boys her name, asking her multiple times in different ways whether he should call her Y/n or Bugsy in front of the guest. She finally got it through his head that she didn't mind either way.

"Hold on!" she yelled back. She unlocked the door and swung it open to see Karl and Quackity. "So impatient."

"Holy shit, you are tall! Goddammit, I thought that was a joke!"

Y/n laughed shyly at the greeting, looking at Quackity like he was crazy. "Hello to you too. Tried to warn you, dude."

"Yeah but, damn! You're tall and attractive, what the hell?"

"Dude," she said with a warning in her voice. She thought the flirting on Twitter was funny, but in real life she got embarrassed easier and wasn't a fan. "I'm about to kick you out of my house before I even let you in."

This was weird, meeting Quackity before meeting some of her other friends. She loved Quackity, but she had known George much longer and Sapnap even before that. There was no problem with meeting Quackity, she just had no idea how to act since she felt like she hardly knew him.

"Am I allowed to tell people that you're hot?" he asked as he fell on her couch, Karl following right after.

"Quackity!" Y/n yelled, her face heating up at a compliment. "Seriously?"

Karl cackled and shoved Quackity. "Shut up, Alex! No, you're not allowed!"

"Sorry, is that compliment reserved for Dream?" He cackled at his own joke and Y/n's face heated up even more.

"I seriously will kick you out of my house."

"You wanna be flirty on main but not in real life?" Quackity scoffed.

"I'm not flirty on main, you are!" she laughed. "Seriously, don't."

"Okay, sorry, I'll stop," Quackity promised with a laugh in his words.

The three of them fell into easy conversation, mostly because Karl and Quackity were already comfortable around each other at this point. They eventually decided to go to the mall, just to mess around and do something.

*reminder: covid doesn't exist in this fic bc we only want happy things so ignore their masks :P*

Y/n frowned as she unlocked her front door, staring at her phone. She had been so happy with all the fans freaking out about the meetup so she looked at the trending list, expecting to see a flood of keyboard smashes and happiness, but that's not all she ended up seeing. BUGKARLITY was trending, so she scrolled through the tweets and was upset to see not all of them were positive. In fact, when she typed her name in the search bar, lots of the tweets using her name were rather mean.

A few that stuck in her head called her an attention whore and said that her friends only flirted with her because she paid them too. Who on earth would even do that? Some hurt way more than others but she tried to push them aside. It wasn't like this was the first time she had seen comments like this, but they had only gotten worse since her Minecraft date with Dream. She was worried it was cause more hate for her friends and the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of their own hate.

She typed several different messages to Dream, deleting them all after she reread them. She felt like she had to request the same thing from him in a different way. Maybe because she felt like his words meant more, even if he really was just joking like the rest of them. She decided to call him instead of texting.

"Hi!" he chirped happily from the other end.

"Hi, Dream," she said as her chest filled with something warm at the sound of his voice. "How are you doing?"

"Good," he dragged out the word. "How are you?"

"Okay."

"Just okay? What's up?"

"Um," she started, immediately forgetting the words she decided she'd use. "I just... would you mind, uh, not flirting with me so much on, like, Twitter and streams and stuff like that?"

There was a silence before Dream's frantically apologetic words came through. "Yes, of course, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. If I had known I was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have—"

"Wait, no," she interrupted but he must not have heard.

"—said things like... oh gosh. Bug, I'm really sorry—"

"Dream!" she raised her voice, getting him to stop ranting. "You don't make me uncomfortable."

"Oh. Really?"

"Of course not. I actually think it's really..." Cute? Adorable? Endearing? "funny," she decided.

"Oh. Then why...?"

She sighed heavily and explained what she told the others. "So, yeah. I just don't want you guys getting hate because of me so I figure if you stop then... you know."

"Bug..." he said gently. "I'm really sorry. I promise you that I don't—none of us think those things about you."

"I know."

"No, seriously," he said, clearly not believing her. "You need to understand that I..." he paused. "I mean what I say. Always."

Always? she thought. There's a few things he's said that certainly he didn't really mean... like calling her cute?

"I don't joke around like that unless I want to. I wouldn't say things like I say to you unless I really, really, genuinely considered you a close friend and felt comfortable around you. And I do."

Her heart swelled. "Thanks, Dream. I just... maybe don't do it so much for right now? Online, at least," she clarified, not wanting to deprive herself completely of Dream's flirting.

"Yeah, if that's what you want, of course."

"Well, I don't want you to stop flirting with me but, yeah."

He chuckled. "Oh, you do like when I flirt with you?"

She hummed and changed the subject. "Did I interrupt you doing anything?"

"No," his teasing voice dropped and was back to his regular self. "I'm just editing the video we filmed the other day."

"Oh, the 'Minecraft, but you can't touch the floor'?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh," she said, not meaning to sound disappointed. "I'll let you get back to it—"

"No. I mean, you can stay on the phone. Unless you're busy."

She smiled and put her phone on speaker and set it next to her foot on the floor. "I was just gonna paint. So I can stay."

Before she knew it, almost two hours had passed of them sitting in comfortable silence, occasionally speaking to share something with the other before going back to their tasks. It was comforting knowing she didn’t need to speak constantly and could just hang out with Dream.

Y/n's phone rested on the floor next to her, Dream on speakerphone on the other end, only the sounds of his keyboard clicking letting her know he hadn't fallen asleep or hung up. She wasn't sure when they started doing this, staying on the phone even when they had nothing to talk about, but they had done it a few times before. They had talked on the phone and Discord many times but it was usually always with purpose, not usually this silently-enjoying-each-others-presence nonsense. Who was she kidding calling it nonsense, she enjoyed it an embarrassingly insane amount.

She repositioned so she was laying on her stomach as she finished sketching an image that was in her mind.

"Hey, you still there?" Dream asked softly.

"Yeah. Sorry, am I taking away from your sitting in silence time with George?" she joked.

Dream chuckled lightly. "Nah, you're more fun. I was just seeing if you ditched me for Karl yet."

"Nah, you're more fun," she mimed truthfully. "But I'm very focused on this drawing."

"Can I see it when you're done?"

"Don't expect too much. It looks bad."

"If you don't tell me what it is, I can't know how accurate or inaccurate it is."

"Very true..." she trailed off, holding the canvas further away to examine it all at once. She wanted the sketch to be perfect before she made permanent choices with paint. She enjoyed the serenity they maintained even when talking, voices low and delicate like they were keeping secrets but not quite whispering. "Are you almost done editing your video from the other day?"

"Sorta. I'm at the part where you and Sapnap almost died laughing because a ghast knocked George into lava and then Sapnap laughed so hard he fell into lava."

She chuckled, remembering the situation vividly. "That was so funny. The way George screams is so funny."

"Let Naomi know that," he mumbled, causing Y/n to gasp.

"Dream!" she laughed loudly and he joined.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's true though."

"Disgusting!"

A distant voice sounded on the other end and she assumed it was Sapnap. "What do you want for dinner?"

Dream responded with a soft, "Nothing, I'm good."

"Are you talking to Bugsy?"

He must have responded physically because the next sound was Sapnap's very clear, much more lively voice speaking directly into the phone. "Hi, Bugsy!"

"Hi, Sapnap!"

"Can you tell Dream to eat some damn food? This man literally hasn't eaten a single thing all goddamn day."

"Dream," Y/n scolded slowly. "Please eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm not showing you my painting until you eat."

A door closed on the other end and she took that as a sign that Sapnap had left.

"I don't wanna see it anyway. It's probably trash."

"Take that back!" she gasped lightly. She looked at the canvas as she grabbed the first paint color and laughed. It was only a sketch and it was already trash. "Fine, then I won't go on the trip if you don't eat in the next ten minutes."

"That's punishing yourself too though."

"Who says I want to see you?" she asked.

"I never said anything about not seeing me being the punishment."

She had been caught. "It was implied."

"Sure it was."

"It's true though. Who says I wanna see your stupid face?"

He didn't say anything, but an incoming FaceTime call lit up Y/n's phone. A FaceTime call from him.

Her smile dropped. "Clay?"

"Answer it," his voice was lower and her heart started beating faster. Was he really about to show her his face to prove a point? Reveal his biggest secret that only a few close friends knew? To her of all people? She made sure she couldn't be seen in the small window and pressed accept, the voice call ending and the FaceTime call starting.

To her surprise, what came into view wasn't his face, but the logo of the hoodie he was wearing, the simple smile of his merch taunting her. She laughed, the anxiety slowly fading away as it was replaced with a heavy feeling in her stomach. Was she disappointed? Maybe a little, but he teased her into believing she would see him.

"Oh, wow! Dream face reveal! He looks just like his icon, no way!!!"

His chest moved up and down as he laughed, not moving the camera away. "You heard it here first, guys! You've known my face all along, the logo is actually my face!"

She laughed and returned to painting, not paying any more attention to her phone since he was now also showing his ceiling, a small corner of his monitor in frame but nothing else. "I mean it though, if you don't eat, I'm going to be so mad I won't even want to be friends anymore. Or you'll die from malnourishment before we get the chance to meet."

"I doubt it. I'm just not hungry."

"Whatever."

"Oh, hey, so you met Quackity today. How was it?"

"Very scary."

"Yeah?" he asked sympathetically, urging her to explain if she wanted.

"Yeah. But it turned out okay! He didn't act any different so it was fine. It was mostly just awkward. He's also so freaking loud. You would not believe how much louder he and Karl get when they're together."

"I can imagine. Aren't they doing a stream right now or something?"

"Yeah, I think so. I don't wanna watch though, I've had enough of them for the month."

Dream laughed. "How will you deal with them together for New Years'? It'll be for like two weeks."

"Who knows if I'll actually go?"

"Wait, what?" he asked abruptly, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice. His keyboard stopped clicking and she could picture him staring at his phone as if looking at her. "Of course you're going."

"Not if you don't eat food! You have, like, 3 minutes to eat something until I officially am busy doing other things whenever the trip is."

Dream groaned and clicked a few things on his computer before the image on the screen became blurry as he walked through the house, still pointing it at the ceiling. She looked away again and kept painting.

"Quackity's really funny though," she continued. "It was super awkward at first but it was fun to have someone else to help me make fun of Karl."

"Wait, Bug," Dream called out over the sound of wrappers crinkling.

"Hm?" She hummed, continuing to paint.

"Bug," his voice was much softer and he sounded nervous.

She looked at her screen and dropped the paintbrush as she focused on what she saw, grabbing her phone and holding it closer to her face so she could see, still making sure she wasn't in view. All the anxiety from the beginning of the FaceTime suddenly came back and hit her like a truck. Sitting on her screen, waiting to be seen, was Dream. His hood was up, tufts of blonde hair sticking out, and he was standing with his back towards a dark room, the dim light from his pantry making his face just visible.

He held up a cookie in front of his actual, real face. "Are you watching?"

"Y-yea... I... Yeah. I'm watching. Is that really you?"

He nodded once before shoving the cookie in his mouth. "There, I consumed food," he announced, his voice muffled by the cookie. "Now you're legally obligated to come."

"I—What? CLAY! WHAT?"

"What?" he asked innocently as he chewed, walking back to his room and still holding the phone up to show his face. His room light was on, making his face much more visible. If Y/n thought he was attractive in the harsh pantry light, he must have looked like a god in his room lighting, even as pixelated as he was due to the quality of FaceTime. He fell on his bed and Y/n could only gape at his features. He slumped against his headboard, surrounded by roughly a thousand pillows, sporting a small, shy smile as he stared at the screen. "Bug, what?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out. Needless to say, he was unbelievably handsome. Part of the speechlessness was from the shock that he showed his face out of the blue, but obviously, the majority of it was that he was pretty much the most attractive person she'd ever seen. It should be illegal for someone to look that good in a hoodie, especially when pixelated.

"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "Wanna take back what you said earlier?" He bit into another cookie.

"W-what did I say earlier?" Why was she stuttering???

"You said you don't wanna see me and that I'm ugly," he teased.

She paused for too many seconds too long before finally muttering, "you arrogant son of a bitch." He laughed loudly at that.

His eyes crinkled and he threw his head back. So that's what he looks like when he wheezes, she thought to herself, pretty.

Dream shuffled his position on his bed and rested his head on one of his hands. He looked so comfy. "Why are you so quiet, weirdo?" he mumbled.

She set her phone back down and touched her cheeks with her hands and looked away for a moment, grounding herself to the real world for a second. She couldn't process her thoughts when she was staring at a man as gorgeous as Clay. "I don't know, maybe because you gave me no warning before showing me your face? Or because you failed to mention that you're incredibly hot?"

She was so glad she had looked back at her phone or else she would have missed the glorious sight of his cheeks turning bright red before he turned the camera back to his ceiling. "Oh my gosh."

"Aw cute, I made you blush."

"Shut up," he mumbled. "You threatened to not come if I didn't eat something!"

"You didn't have to—you showed me your freaking face just to prove you ate a cookie!! DREAM! I would have believed you if you just said you ate something!" she laughed breathlessly, staring at the phone now for a chance to see him again. "I was joking anyway!"

"Sure you were."

"I was."

"Well, oh well. You deserved to see me anyway."

"Oh, I deserve to see you?" She laughed. "How big is your ego?"

"You know what I meant," he groaned. "You got doxxed by Karl and you met Quackity in person. And you've clearly had a bad day because of all the hate and stuff. You've done a lot of stressful things recently and you deserved to be let in on a secret too."

He was so sweet. Like, tooth-rotting, Halloween candy stash hidden under a kid's bed, upset tummy sweet. She also couldn't get over the fact that he was a million times cuter when he was shy like he was being now, his voice soft and unsure. It contrasted vastly with the confident, loud-mouthed Dream everyone usually saw, though she liked that Dream too. She wished he could show his face for just one more second to see what he looked like shy. Probably sickeningly adorable.

This was it, wasn't it? The chance she had been waiting for to tell him her name? He just let her in on his biggest secret, now he was the one deserving to be let in.

"Y/n," she said with a confident, but soft voice.

There was a long pause. "W-what?"

"Y/n."

He understood the second time immediately. "Y/n..." he tested, the smile in his voice clear as day. "I like it."

"Yeah, well, I guess you deserved to know the secret too."

"I would have been content never knowing."

"Really?" She didn't believe him. He seemed like the type to never be satisfied, always looking for something better. Not in a greedy way, but in a motivational, goal-oriented big achiever way.

"Really," he hummed. "I already feel like you're too good to be true so I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't a real person."

It was silent as she tried to collect her thoughts.

"Bug? You okay?"

"Yeah, I... it's just a lot."

"Sorry."

"No, it's not you. Well... I don't know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say when you say things like that," she admitted.

He paused. "I think you always have the perfect responses when I say things like that."

"What do I usually say?" She smiled shyly, pulling her hoodie up to her lips.

"You usually call me a nerd or say you can't stand me. 'Oh my gosh I cannot stand you'," he mimicked before laughing.

"What? How is that the perfect response to you saying you can't believe I'm real?"

He hummed and she could practically hear him shrugging. "Because it's a classic Bug response. It's a hundred perfect you. So yeah, it's perfect."

She was silent, trying to compose herself before she exploded.

"By the way, check Twitter."

"Why, are you bragging about me calling you hot?" she teased, hoping to make him blush like she had earlier. It worked.

"Oh my gosh, no. Just look."

She clicked her home button and navigated to the app, her feed instantly flooding with the same similar messages.

"Oh, my gosh," she muttered, her fingers flying away as she typed out her own tweet in response to the love.

Dream chuckled from the other end and when she asked him why, he vaguely said that George texted him but didn't explain further.

"Um, I have to go," she said mournfully. "Karl and Quackity are coming over again."

"Booooo," he pouted.

"Sorry, you aren't the only man in my life," she teased before instantly regretting her choice of words. Too flirty, Y/n, she thought to herself.

"Hm, shame. Am I at least at the top of the list?"

She bit her lips, wanting desperately to repeat what she had told him on their Minecraft date. In the end, she gave in. "I always mean what I say too," she started. "You're my main bitch, baby."

Dream made some sort of sound, a mix of a scoff and a whine but Y/n didn't comment on it, just glowing with heat in her cheeks.

"Leave before I don't let you," he said softly and the heat only grew.

"Goodnight, Dream," she pressed, the tone in her voice letting him know he was being a tease. "Thanks for... thanks for your tweet. And for everything you said earlier."

"Of course. Sorry that you have to see those kinds of things a lot."

"It's okay when I have people like you."

"People like me? What does that mean?"

"Just.... people like you." Cute, sweet, kind, genuine people who make her heart flutter.

She could hear his smile in his words and she figured he knew the unspoken words in her thoughts, the ones she was saying without saying. "Okay. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight."

**********

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[redhead-batgal]

Type: Two-Shot {A really really long part-one}

Part Two: Here

Pairing: Fem! and Librarian! Reader x Dick Grayson/Nightwing

Content: Cursing, flirtations, violence, reader with serious anxiety and some minor implications. Fluff, so much fluff.

P.S: An OC of mine is making an appearance in this so yeah just a heads up, it’s not the reader but she will be in it. Anyways, enjoy!

Word Count (So y’all know what you’re getting yourself into): 12,709 words

Y/N: Your Name, L/N: Last Name

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You hadn't meant for anyone to see, you thought that after hours of no patrons it would be fine, however you were wrong. It was more embarrassing than anything, embarrassing all because it wasn't just anyone who had caught you. No it just had to be the first man you found yourself crushing on since the nasty break up with your Ex, Daniel. It just had to be Dick Grayson who caught you dancing through the aisle as you reshelved books, of course it did. It was just your luck.

A pop song had played on the radio as you drove in to work and it had gotten stuck in your head, when everything went quiet at the library, you felt the need to sing. And singing, usually led to dancing, reshelving the books was just for something productive to do really.

You had just slid a book back onto the shelf when the song in your head had a melody that seemed perfectly twirl worthy. So, you started twirling. And then you kept twirling, hoping to spin your entire way back to your desk to grab more books. However, before you made it to your desk you slammed straight into someone.

Instead of going tumbling to the ground like you expected, you felt hands on your waist steadying you. Blinking, you looked and found Dick Grayson smiling at you.

Shit.

Heat flushed your cheeks and you're fairly sure you let out a squeak or a squawk in surprise, due to the fact that Jason suddenly began coughing and hitting his chest. That unfortunately made you realize exactly what had just happened.

Twirling and slamming straight into Dick.

Fucking shit.

You felt like an idiot and shame burned bright on your cheeks. You were seconds from going into an all out panic at not only being caught doing your guilty pleasure, but you had seriously embarrassed yourself in front of your crush. A habit that you wished had died in high school.

Almost as if he sensed your panic, Dick instantly let go of you and took a step back. You nodded in thanks, feeling the terror climb up your throat as the thoughts slammed into you.

He's going to think you're too weird, he'll never talk to you again

You tried to push the thoughts back or counter them. It wasn't true, Dick was nice and something as small as catching you twirling wouldn't drive him away right? ....... Oh no, this wasn't good. He was probably never going to forget this, forever remembering you as the bumbling fool who twirled right into him.

As if he'd think of you, The thoughts seethed.

You forced a smile and it was then you realized he had said something to you. He was looking at you expectantly... he had asked you a question. A friendly smile was on his face and you tried to remember what he asked you.

Taking small glances at his face you realized that you had squeaked out a sorry instinctively after slamming into him. But other than that you couldn't recall what he said and even more panic raced over you.

He's going to think your an ass for not listening when he was speaking, it's rude and you are one

Resisting shoving your face into your hands you let out a small sigh and squeezed your eyes shut. If you wanted to answer his question, you were going to have to ask him to repeat it.

You ran through possible excuses and two popped into your head instantly.

Sorry long day, could you repeat that?

What was the question again?

The first one seemed perfect so you opened your mouth to speak and then you met his gaze.

"Sorrylongquestionrepeatthatday?"

He blinked and you saw the confusion on his face and you nearly wince. You knew that you could get it if you tried again.

Unfortunately you were wrong.

"Sorrypleaserepeatthaquestlong."

"What?"

Wincing you put a hand to your face and dragged it across it. Avoiding his gaze with your hands balled into fists you raised your voice slightly.

"Uh. sorry. can. you. please. repeat. the. question?" You remark slowly, pausing to make sure none of the words blur together again.

"Oh, yeah sure. I asked what you were doing that caused you to run into me? It looked like you were having fun, so I got a little curious. "

FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK

"Oh uhm, well- uh it's super embarrassing, so I- uh- like- yeah." You stumbled over a reply before holding two thumbs up.

He looked at you confused for a moment before you decide not facing him was the best way to get through this. Moving quickly towards your desk, which was only a few feet away, you internally began planning your own funeral.

Moving behind the desk you sank down into your chair and spun around. Finding the top of a dark head you blinked until you saw the head raise and realized it was just Damian. He looked at your for a few seconds before narrowing his eyes and placing a book on the counter.

"Last time you recommended this book."

Picking up the book you looked at the title and cover. It was a standalone book by an author you rather liked, when the young boy had asked for a recommendation you nearly jumped for joy. Recommending books was one of your favorite things to do as a librarian.

"Yes, did you like it- sorry. Did you enjoy it?" You asked as you flipped through the pages, a habit to make sure nothing was stuck in the book and to keep you calm.

Something you realized with the youngest Wayne, was he preferred to be treated as an adult- or how he thought adults should be treated. So you pretend he was a scholar and talked to him as such. Damian appeared to be happy with the way you treated him and didn't completely hate you so you were content... at least for now.

"It was... adequate. Do you have any other recommendations?"

A smile played on your lips as you set the book down and a calming wave raced over you. Books were the one thing you could talk about and never falter, they were the one thing you knew so much about that you were sure you couldn't mess up talking about it.

"Well this author has multiple books that they've written... what was it about the book that made it... satisfactory? Was it the plot, the characters, or the writing style? Maybe even the genre?"

Damian's brow furrowed and you realized he didn't exactly know what he liked about the book. However, before you could offer to pick out another book for him, the boy nodded and stepped back from your desk.

"I will look into the other novels. Thank you."

He turned and began heading towards the aisles, the smile exploded on your face and you called after him.

"Happy to help."

Less than a minute later, Dick followed Damian shooting you a small smile. You instinctively looked down as your shame from earlier slammed into you yet again. After a minute or two you looked up and noticed how both he and Damian were out of sight. A sigh of relief escaped you and Jason came up to your desk, an eyebrow raised.

"You really fucked that up, you know." He remarked, setting a few books down.

Due to him constantly coming around and talking to you about books, you had become somewhat comfortable around Jason.

Rolling your eyes you waved a hand at him, "Oh buzz off asshole."

With a small smile on his face he raised his hands and shrugged. He apparently found your humiliation amusing, which did not surprise you. 

"I'm just saying." Jason said with a mischievous smile on his face. 

You gave him an irritated look and replied, "And I'm just saying I never asked."

He blinked almost in surprise and he raised an eyebrow at you and you dropped his gaze. Despite knowing him fairly well you still had a hard time looking him, or anyone else really, in the eyes for long periods of time. There was only really one person you didn’t mind looking in the eyes... and that of course was because it wasn’t his eyes you were looking into, but a mask. Before your thoughts could drift towards your vigilante friend a comment yanked you back into reality. 

"Well someone's touchy today."

You gave Jason a look, he was seriously testing your patience today. It was bad enough that he just stood there and laughed as you made a complete fool of yourself in front of your crush. You had expected him to at least help you out a little bit but he didn’t even though he knew how you felt about his brother... Maybe it was because of that.

He smiled at you and that only intensified your anger, you glared at him and he took a step back looking slightly defensive. If there was one thing about yourself you were proud of, it was your glare. You had been told that it scared even the bravest of Gotham’s vigilantes... though now that you think about it that was probably a sarcastic comment. 

"Hey,” Jason began leaning onto your desk, “as your friend I felt I should tell you."

Rolling your eyes you shook your head and began checking the book Damian had returned back in, "Of course you did."

Out of the corner of your eye you saw him narrow his eyes and move in closer to the desk. He was giving you a look almost as if he was daring you to say that again. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks his voice pitching.

Sometimes, he’s rather sensitive. Shooting him looks out of the corner of your eyes you tried to fight off the smile that was working its way onto your face.

"Take a guess."

He lets out a slight huff and curses under his breath as if he realized you were messing with him. Peeking at him you find Jason shaking his head, a amused-yet-irritated smile on his face. You reached over and grabbed a couple of books in need of reshelving and placed the one you just checked in on top. You stared at the cover of the book at the top of your stack and you realized to reshelf this book you would probably have to see Dick... something that you really didn’t want to do. 

Suddenly you replayed what happened in your head and embarrassment washed over you yet again. Fiddling with the pile you bit your lip then you shot Jason a look, hesitating slightly before you finally asked.

"Was I obvious and awkward or just an awkward mess?"

He shrugged as he gave you a look of contemplation. Rubbing his face he remarked, "Well I can't really say because I know you have the hots for him."

Your jaw dropped and you swatted at him, your face turning pink. He ducked away from your hand laughing and you glared at him. You cleared your throat and looked around. Standing no more than three feet away was an old lady you knew by the name of Whitney. She was sweet, but she loved to gossip. And you hardly needed your personal drama- well not drama, love life- it wasn’t really even your love life... you hardly needed personal things out and about, being talked about during Thursday’s bridge club. 

The only way you could continue your conversation in any privacy was to walk around and reshelf books. Picking the pile up, you paused to slide the book on top to the bottom, before you began walking towards the aisle. Motioning with your head for Jason to follow you.

“Come on,” 

You walked to where the new book on top needed to be reshelved, it just so happened to be on the other side of the library to your relief. You slid the book back where it belonged then set your pile on an empty space on the shelf in front of you. Leaning against the shelf behind you, you grabbed at a loose strand of hair that you missed when pulling it up into a messy bun that morning. Twirling the stay strand around your finger you let out a sigh and looked at Jason. You felt as if you had to explain. 

It wasn’t just a minor crush you had, not really. After the whole mess with Daniel you were honestly surprised you could like any man that way again. Yet somehow you found yourself feeling that way about Dick, he was nice and funny, and sweet and- you could go on and on. Letting out a sigh you bit your lip again.

"I do not have the hots for him, I- I-." You stumbled to explain exactly what you were feeling. 

"You fancy him?" Jason inquired, a smile quirked on his lips as he leaned in. 

You laughed slightly, shaking your head, "Have you been reading Jane Austen again?"

"No,” He replied, his smile slowly fading, “what is it about him that you like?"

“Well,” You began hearing your voice crack slightly. 

You didn’t really know how to explain it, and trying would only make you feel like a bitch if you didn’t explain it right. 

“I don’t really know how to explain it,” You sighed before you unraveled the strand from your finger and put your hands behind your back, “He’s super nice and sweet and funny. He- he’s nice to me but he doesn’t pity me despite knowing about... despite knowing about what happened with Daniel. I know that I find his presence comforting-”

Jason snorted, then remarked, “So comforting that you can’t speak?”

You let out a scoff and shook your head.

“He’s just so....”

“Ridickulos?” Jason laughed as he shook his head, “I’m sorry I had to do that one. If he found out I didn’t he’d never forgive me.” 

You rolled your eyes and shoved Jason before studying the bookshelf in front of you.

“Amazing, he’s fun and cool and- I have a hard time talking around him because- because I think I can’t really compare to him. I mean I’m a mess most of the time, barely able to make a coherent sentence without having to repeat it a bajillion times and yet he doesn’t treat me differently. I get so scared that if and I were to become friends he’d find out how weird I actually am and suddenly not want to be friends with me anymore. Worse when I talk I fear that I’ll say something stupid and the same thing with happen. That he’ll never want to talk to me again and my crush will literally end up crushing me. Even though I know that’s not true. He’s- he’s like everything I need.”

You faintly remember a phrase you had said the moment you realized you liked him. It played in your head as you waited for Jason to respond. 

All The Man That I Need

It was fairly true, as far as you could tell he was all the man that you needed. But you didn’t exactly fully know him so you couldn’t definitively say if the statement was correct. It’s a good thing however that you hated definites.  

“Well, what about the other guy?”

Other guy? You blinked as you realized what exactly Jason was referring to. You had told him that you were spending time with a vigilante, as friends of course. It was strange to think you had befriended Nightwing without really trying at all. Maybe making friends wasn’t as hard for you as you thought... well it didn’t exactly help that you did see him as a friend however he was, for the longest time, your celebrity crush. 

Befriending him was a reality check of sorts, he was a hero, but he was also just a guy. A guy who you surprisingly got along well with. However the reality check also made you realize no matter how awesome he was in person there could never be a relationship with him. He was a vigilante and you could never know his identity. That idea got promptly thrown out when you began to find yourself taking solstice in his visits back when you and Daniel were together. 

“I thought I told you,” You began with a sigh, “that it would never work out.” 

Jason shrugs and pulls a book off of the shelf examining it. He opens the book and looks at you. 

“You did, but I thought it couldn’t hurt to keep your options open.” 

Rolling your eyes you leaned over to see that in the book he opened characters were reading from William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Jason hums slightly before he closes the book and taps your head with it.

“Reading a lot of Shakespeare recently?” You question instead of protesting, protesting was what he wanted and you were beginning to feel the effects of socializing.

“More or less,” He replied, reshelving the book. 

He turned fully to you and a light appeared in his eyes. Jason got a devilish look on his face and you suddenly began to fear what was going to happen next.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"

You narrowed your own eyes and shook your head. To many possibilities for what could go wrong, better not, "I’d rather you didn't."

Jason leaned in, his eyes glittering as if he had a plan formulating in his head and in your experience Jason’s plans never went well. However before you could reaffirm your decision he commented, “Might make him jealous."

You blinked a few times, the idea seemed interesting. It was tempting as hell until the little voices, the negative Nancy’s as your mother used to call them, began to speak up.

As if he’d ever be jealous over you

He has to like you in the first place, he probably thinks you’re a freaky weirdo.

You swallowed trying to not let the harsh thoughts hurt as much as they actually did. Shaking your head you shot Jason a grateful smile.

"No, it's okay,” You paused as an idea popped into your head, “But I could compare you to a summer's day."

Surprise was frozen on his face for half a second before he snorted and rolled his eyes. He gave you a look before replying, "Eh, well I don't think it is accurate."

".... You could compare him to a summer's day." You said before you could think it through.

Without even missing a beat Jason replied, "Or you could,"

No, you couldn’t. If you tried, even though he wasn’t actually there, you’d probably combust due to embarrassment and it would be just your luck if he just so happened to be walking up as you did it. Anyways you weren’t very good with sonnets. Poetry and rhymes were a bit easier but regardless it just wasn’t your thing. 

"I’ve never really been one for sonnets, Besides it'd be more accurate if you did it." You informed him with a shrug.

"Of course it would."

His words were a bit sharp, as if something was bothering him. You decided to ignore it considering that it wasn’t really your business. However what he said was a challenge in itself. He was basically saying you were chickening out. He wasn’t wrong but he had no right to call you on it. 

"Are you implying what I think you are?" You asked, trying to keep your tone light. 

“Probably.” He shrugged, smiling that devilish, his voice softer than before.

Narrowing your eyes you crossed your arms and remarked, “For the sake of this friendship, I’m going to disregard that comment.” 

His eyes lit up once again and you realized you gave him what he wanted, while you didn’t know what it was for you did know what it was. An opening. 

“And for the sake of this friendship I am going to compare you to a summer’s day.” 

This was probably going to be the funniest or dirtiest thing you heard this week, and you honestly didn’t mind. You were getting exhausted and needed a good laugh. As they always say, laughter is the best medicine.

“Oh no,” You replied, pretending to tremble while weakly laughing. 

Ignoring your comment, he held his arms out towards you before he dramatically declared, “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”

Without hesitation you deadpanned, “No,”

He shot you a glare, taking a step forwards before getting the dramatic look on his face again, gazing past you he took in a breath.

“Thou art more hot and more smelly.”

You laughed slightly before he shot you a chastising look and continued,

“Rough farts do shake the tiny arm hairs of me,”

Giggles began to build up your throat, but you pushed them back as Jason waved his hands around the air almost as if he was trying to swat a fly. 

He took in a breath and looked directly at you, “And summer’s air hath all to gross a smell,”

Pressing a hand to your face you shove back your laughter and you nod at him a few times. His face is frozen, his hands hanging limply at his sides and you realize he’s stuck. Shaking your head you wait a moment when an idea for the next line pops into your head. 

“Sometime too wet the back of my neck shines?”

His face lights up and he smiles at you before remarking, “Oooo good one.”

Slipping back into the dramatic, Shakespearean crack actor he holds his hands out again. Forming his face into what you can only assume is a regal expression he continues, 

“Sometime too wet the back of my neck shines.... and often is it’s slick complexion....”

He paused for another moment and began snapping his fingers as if the word was on the tip of his tongue. 

“Dried.” You piped up nearly biting back laughter.

Pointing a finger at you he exclaims, “Yes!”

Jumping back once again into the persona he shoots you a wink out of the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes as giggles escape you. 

“And often is it’s slick complexion dried. And every fly from fly sometime declines.”

You give him a look, laughter fighting to be released before shaking your head and shaking your hands.

“That doesn’t make sense.” 

Jason swats at you not breaking his gaze, he had locked in on something behind you and you hoped it wasn’t a person, “Hush, I’m not done.” 

You snorted and then let out a cough to try and subdue the oncoming barrels of laughter that were threatening to explode from you. 

“By swat or by swatter’s shrieking ass stumbling.”

That was the last straw, giggles, cackles and chortles escaped from you and you pressed your hand to the shelf behind you to stay standing. 

“Oh my fucking gosh- stop- please.” You wheezed in-between your laughter.

Jason gave you a look and you tried to stop yourself from cackling.

 He waited until you had quieted down a bit to ask, “Should I do the next line?”

“NO! NO, I can’t take- I couldn’t make it through another.” You exclaimed shaking your head. 

Letting out a sigh Jason shot you a look that looked a little bit to much like pout for you to take seriously. 

“Can I at least say the best lines?”

“You’ve thought that far ahead?”

“Yes,”

Giggling slightly you sighed then nodded, “Fine.”

Slipping back into the Shakespearean actor persona he held his hand out almost exactly mimicking the classic Hamlet pose. The mere action of him going back into the act had you giggling again. He opened his mouth, covering your own with your hand to stop yourself from interrupting him anymore; you let out a slight snort. He stepped forwards and you pressed yourself against the shelves to get a better view of him. 

“When in eternal thighs to highs thou grow’st.”

A mixture between a wheeze and squeak escapes you and you have to squeeze your hand over your mouth and nose to stop yourself from cackling again. From where you stood, you could see Jason’s eyes glowing almost as if he found this amusing as you found the new sonnet funny. 

“So long as men can’t breathe,” He remarked, “or bi’s can’t pee.”

Another hybrid of a sound escaped you and you could see his shoulders shaking. He straightened himself out and began to finish,

“So long lives the bitch that gives fuck’s not to thee-” 

You couldn’t help yourself, it wasn’t like the other lines where it practically mirrored the syllables of the original line, the new last line was a mess. 

“That’s not rig-” You protested as you fought off a grin. 

Suddenly his hand was covering your mouth and you gave him a shocked look that momentarily stopped your laughter. After the shock left the laughter returned in ten-fold. Giggles escape you and you tried your hardest not to meet his gaze however you couldn’t help yourself, looking Jason in the eyes you saw how serious he was and you giggled even more. He removed his hand and you bit your lip to stop yourself from snorting again, it was the laugh of yours you hated the most, made you feel a little too much like a pig. 

Jason looked beside you and you were thankful, though he could be an ass sometimes he was nice enough to try and help prevent your anxiety or at least make it less intense. Your body began to shake as you fought off any and all laughter. You needed him to get through all of it so he wouldn’t repeat it. Covering your mouth with both hands you pressed against the shelves and squeezed your eyes shut

“As I was saying,” He remarked, “So long lives the bitch that gives fuck’s not to thee... and scene.”

Peeking an eye open you find Jason bowing and you lose it, your hands barely make it away from your face before you explode into a fit of snorts that don’t seem to stop. Your body begins to bend and you begin caving in on yourself, letting your head hang down you continue to laugh and snort. Rising back up you press a hand to your chest in a hope to make the laughter stop but it is in vain. You felt your cheeks flushing and your blood rushing to your face as you tried to quiet down.

Jason smiled and you took a breath before giggling relentlessly. Shaking your head you realized despite how funny it was you did have some critiques. 

“Can you say that stuff about bi’s?” You asked your breath nearly hiccupping as you snickered.

He shrugged before pressing a hand to the bookshelf right by your head and winking, “I am bi so I can say whatever the hell I want.”

“All-righty then, kiddo.” You nodded snorting as you moved your hand from your chest. 

Suddenly someone walks up however they speak before you can turn, “Hey guys, what you talking about?”

Something about the tone was off to you, you didn’t know exactly what but you knew that whoever the person was, they weren’t happy. 

Simultaneously both you and Jason say, “Nothing.” 

Giggling again you smile at Jason and look over to find Damian and Dick. Usually panic would flood you and slowly it was, however you still had laughter floating around your chest and it was slowly escaping you like a leaky faucet. 

Damian narrowed his eyes, “You were talking about me weren’t you?”

For a moment you were confused until you blinked, realizing that he thought the two of you were laughing at him. Thinking for half a moment about what you were doing made more laughter push through. However it’s not only normal laughter but scared laughter. It was something you noticed in the middle of your junior year, when in moments of high fear or panic where you didn’t know what to do, you laughed.

“N-no.,” You tried to start, but upon seeing Damian’s upset face terrified giggles stopped you, “we- we weren’t talk-talking about you.” 

Jason cleared his throat and you had flashbacks to when he was beginning the sonnet, a snort bubbled from you. It was loud and very pig-like causing your entire face to turn a brighter red than it already was. 

"We might be,” Jason said, “whatch-ya gonna do about it pipsqueak?"

The tone he had made the laughter begin to die in your chest, you knew that Jason and Damian didn’t get along well most of the time. You just didn’t know why, some days they seemed fairly close other days it seemed like they would rip each other’s throats out.

"I'll make you stop Todd." Damian seethed and your laughter vanished with one last hybrid squeaking snort. 

Moving away from you, Jason took a few steps towards Damian, shoving his hands in his pockets, "I'd like to see you try gremlin." 

"Stop calling me names Todd."

Jason laughed and looked back at you, you shot him a warning look but he ignored you, "Or what short-stack? You gonna bite my ankles?"

"Jason-" Dick began when Damian interrupted him with a snarl.

"Go on, keep calling me names, see what happens."

The two boys were closer now, a mere three feet away from each other. Without even thinking it through you stepped in between them and raised your hands as if to push both of them away from each other. Shooting them both a reprimanding glare you watched as the fight died from both of them pretty quickly.

Sighing in relief you lowered your hands and nodded before noting the stack of books that needed to be reshelved on the shelf almost gathering dust. 

“Alright boys, behave now. I’m going to go and reshelf the rest of these books. When I return I expect the two of you to be getting along, or else.” You remarked moving towards the books.

Jason stepped out of your way and seemed to understand the entirety of your threat, Damian on the other hand didn't.

“Or else what?” He asked his eyes narrowed

Picking up the books you turned back to him and raised an eyebrow, “Do you really want to know?” 

His shoulders sank down and Damian fully backed down. He looked away form you and you nodded satisfied. Turning you left to go reshelf the books. You got down to the last one when a young girl stopped you. 

She looked up at you with big eyes and asked, “Do you have any books I could read?”

You stared at her sweet face for a moment before pulling a book off of the shelf and handing it to her. She took the book with a bright smile on her face and she turned and left. Staring at the last book in your hand you slid it back where it belonged and spun around. 

Instead of finding a bunch of shelves you found Dick standing behind you, internally you screamed and you felt your eyes widen instinctively. He smiled and leaned in towards you. 

"Have any recommendations for me?" He asked

Panic washed over you and it was suddenly hard to breathe, you loved to recommend books but him asking was like someone asking to see your diary. 

Fumbling for words you replied, "Uh-I- uh well- what. do. you. like?

It was then that you realized Dick was here with you, which meant that the boys were left alone. Alone and unattended, while of course that could be a good thing. It also meant that they could trash the library, Jason could tell Damian about your crush, the small boy had a habit of blurting out things he found not secret keeping worthy! 

Giving Dick a worried look you stepped forwards and rushed to ask him, if he did in fact leave them alone,

"watdidyaeveemown?"

“I’m sorry what?” He gave you a very confused look.

“Did you leave them alone?!” You nearly shrieked as panic overtook your body.

“Uh yeah.” 

“SHIT.”

Turning you ran down two aisles back to where Damian and Jason were. Surprisingly instead of finding them in an all out battle you found them cackling.

"You- you are amazing. And so fucking dense." Jason breathed out in between his laughter. 

"What?" You asked completely and totally surprised as the panic began to slip away from you.

"Nothing, nothing at all Y/N." He sighed wiping imaginary tears. 

You were astonished and confused, how could they do that? Go from being at each others throats ready for blood to buddies in less then ten minutes? Shaking your head you let out a sigh and went to turn around when you spotted Dick in the corner of your eye. You then remembered he asked for a recommendation and were thankful you had an excuse to run away.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to recommend a book but more as it was hard to think straight around him. Your brain turned to mush and it was hard for you to bring any good books to mind. Looking at the shelf across form you, you spotted an old favorite of yours. Throughout all of high school it was your comfort book and it might just be the perfect book for him. 

Yanking it off the shelf you turned and held it out to him. He took it from you smiling slightly as though he was extremely confused but wanted to be polite. 

“What’s this for?” He asked

“Gookbood.” You mumbled out after you accidentally met his gaze.

You were stuck, of course you had the option to look away, however if you did you’d only feel even more embarrassed, if you kept looking however.. let’s just say you think it’d be bad for your health.

“What?” Dick asked leaning forwards clearly trying to hear you better.

“Bokgood-” You began before you realized you messed up only to try again, “Ookkbod.”

Slamming your eyes shut you clenched your fists and nearly yelled, “GOOD BOOK.”

With that you kept your eyes closed and turned walking away as Damian and Jason cackle at you. Probably at your inability to even form coherent sentences. Instead of heading back towards your desk you moved past it into the backroom, gathering your things as fast as you could you headed towards the front desk. Upon seeing you, Marian, the head library gave you a worried look. 

“Everything alright Y/N?”

“Uh, yeah I’m just gonna end my shift early.”

“You’re shift has been over for an hour dear... though you usually stay till closing...” Her tone told you that she was worried. 

Closing your eyes again you winced but then you heard Marian sigh and you peeked an eye open seeing her typing something in her computer.

“If any one asks...” You began before wincing again as the thoughts hit you.

As if they would

“If anyone asks, I’m not feeling well. Alright?” 

Marian nodded a small smile on her face as she looked at something in one of the aisles, "Go on Y/N, have a good weekend. I’ll see you again on Monday.” 

She waved you along and you hurried out the door. Before you could even make it to the parking lot you spotted one of the libraries regulars. Mira, was a few years younger then you and very excited about books. Unknown to her and probably himself, Jason had taken a shining to her. 

Upon seeing you her eyes lit up and she hurried over to you. Smiling brightly Mira enthusiastically greeted you.

“Hi, Y/N. I know you’re probably about to head home but I just wanted to tell you I loved the book you recommended and say hi.” 

Her face was it’s natural pink and she seemed to realized how much you were freaking out. Her smile slid from her face and she reached out a hand as if to try and comfort you before she put it back down. 

“Are you okay?” 

You didn’t exactly know what to say. While Mira was a constant and almost as close a friend to you as Jason was, you couldn’t exactly tell her what was going on. 

With a weary sigh you turned back towards the doors to see Dick, Jason and Damian walking out them. Even more panic raced over you as they spotted you and Mira. 

Mira hummed slightly before patting your arm and turning towards the boys, they began to approach. They were only a couple of a feet away when Mira stopped them.

“Hi,” She said grinning brightly, “I’m Mirabilis Cadman, but everyone calls me Mira. It’s nice to meet you.” 

You watched for a moment as Dick hesitated, Damian gave Mira a scrutinizing look and Jason, well Jason seemed to be completely unaffected however you knew better. Mira held her hand out to Dick and he shook it.

“Hey, I’m Dick Grayson. This is my little brother Damian. Pleasure to meet you.” He replied smiling

For a moment a strange look crossed Mira’s face her smile faltering then she blinked and looked to Damian for a moment. Then she noted the book he was carrying. Smiling again she also held her hand out to him. 

Shooting him a wink she remarked, “Good choice, glad to see one of you has taste.” 

It was then that you remembered how one night after Mira had volunteered to help you clean up the library after a long day of elementary school classes coming in you had told her of your crush on Dick Grayson and how it seemed that, at the time he was ignoring you. 

Fuck

Meanwhile Jason was trying to hide cackles behind coughs. Hitting his chest twice he gives Mira a amused look before he held his hand out to her. Once she took it he said,

“Sup, Jason, Jason Todd.” 

Mira blinked twice, confusion was clear on her face for a moment before she shrugged and let go of his hand. Looking away from the two of them you noticed how Dick was staring at you.

Shit.

Mira eventually caught his line of sight and you watched as her eyes widened slightly. She kept the smile on her face though. Dick gestured to you and began to speak, “We need Y/N, she is just-”

“She isn’t feeling well,” Mira explained and you noted the hand behind her back waving for some reason, “But, I’d be happy to help you out in anyway I can. I know this library like the back of my hand. I spend a lot of time here... maybe too much time.” 

You watched as she continued to wave and realized she was signaling you to leave. She was helping with your get away. As you hurried towards the parking lot and your car you know one thing for sure. You owed her big-time.

It didn’t take you long to get to your car, as you fumbled with your keys you came to a realization. 

You recommended him, Dick Grayson, a book. He frequently came to the library and sometimes tried to talk to you. He would want to talk to you about the book. Which meant the possibility of embarrassing yourself in front of him again, and no Mira to save you. 

Fucking shit

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Insomnia was a bitch, but it wasn’t just anyone’s bitch it was anxiety’s bitch... then again so were you. 

It was probably close to three a.m. when you decided you were hungry and climbed out of your very warm bed to wander into the kitchen. Unfortunately flies had beat you there, while there was only two or three, but they annoyed the hell out of you. Picking up the fly swatter you spotted a fly a few feet away from you and you lunged forwards swinging your arms and legs. You slapped at the fly and successfully hit it. Pretending to bow to a cheering crowd you mouthed ‘thank you, thank you.’

Standing up straight you held your fly swatter like a blade and a thought popped into your head.

Ninja, fly ninja, you are the fly ninja.

Jumping around as you let out soft hi-yah’s and other ninja noises you tried and failed to hit the two flies. Creeping up on one of the flies you swung the flyswatter out and smacked it into the wall. Jumping and doing a side kick you remarked,

“Hoi-yah! Take that fly! No one can best me. Because I’m The fly ninja.”

It was then you heard the chuckling. Blinking you turned and found standing in your kitchen in his blue and black glory, your friend, Nightwing. The thoughts slammed into you as you found yourself stumbling back towards your couch. 

He just saw you looking like a fucking idiot, you are never going to live this one down

However instead of freaking out, when you saw the incredibly amused look on his face you found yourself irritated. You froze for just a moment before you grabbed a pillow and chucked it at him. He dodged it with a laugh.

“Wouldn't ninja fly be better.... wait no that's a fly who is a ninja,” he mused while laughing and dodging yet another pillow you threw. 

He thinks your weird, he’s probably laughing at yo-

“You,” Nightwing said, yanking you out of the thoughts, “have the worst taste in cereal.”

Blinking you found him standing in front of one of your cupboards, crossing your arms you gave him a look and he closed the cupboard. Turning towards you he leaned against the counter with one hand, effectively blocking your way into the kitchen.  

“Just to let you know.”

Rolling your eyes you snorted, then pushed past him to get into your kitchen. Yanking a cup from your cupboard you walk over to the electric kettle and fill it with water before turning it on and placing the mug next to it.

"You,” You began as you walked back out of the kitchen, ”break into people's apartments in the middle of the night, what right do you have to judge my cereal?"

He snorted and rested his elbows on your counter. Behind him Red Robin slipped into your kitchen and began raiding your cabinets for coffee, which as of late, was normal.

“True, but do I really deserve such scorn from the fly ninja?” 

Behind Nightwing you see Red Robin pause and turn towards you. He mouths ‘fly ninja?’ tilting his head in confusion. Biting your lip to hold back laughter you smiled and then shrugged. He nodded and turned back to raiding your cabinets. 

Looking at Nightwing you raised an eyebrow and then rested your elbows on your counter before placing your face in your hands.

“You broke into my apartment, startled me. Insulted my ninja abilities and then you insulted my cereal choices. So yes, I do believe you deserve my scorn.”

Nightwing held up a hand in disagreement as he shook his head. Behind him the electric kettle steamed then clicked off, “I did not insult your ninja skills. I- I was admiring them.”

Narrowing your eyes you fought off a grin as you replied, “So you say.”

Usually you would be worried saying stuff like this to even the closest of your friends, however, despite your sometimes snarky remarks and extreme weirdness Nightwing continued to come and visit you. Which told you that it didn’t matter how weird or much yourself you were he wouldn’t leave... or at least you hopped so. 

Taking on a playful tone he remarked, "Well someone's grumpy." 

Holding up a hand you waved it at him as Red Robin grabbed a mug and began pouring the water into it, the instant coffee right next to him.

"Listen- listen I haven't had my tea yet." 

Nightwing blinked once and then he pushed off of the counter and he laughed slightly. It took you a minute to realize he was confused and a little nervous.

“You don't drink coffee?"

"Caffeine and I don't get along." You said with a shrug.

This only seemed to confuse him more, he shook his head and looked at you slightly astonished before he asked, “Then why do you have so much of it?”

Smiling, you met his gaze and pointed behind him, “Turn around.”

Turning he looked and saw Red Robin stirring a cup of coffee. He paused and watched with you as Red Robin pulled a small energy drink from his belt and he poured it into the cup. Nightwing walks over to him and picks up the mug from his body language; it looked as if he was giving Red Robin a scolding look.

"You know this is probably gonna kill you right?"

Red Robin shrugs and replies, "It was bound to happen sooner or later."

A giggle escaped you and both Nightwing and Red Robin turned towards you. You cleared your throat as Nightwing smiled and Red Robin looked at the two of you. A strange expression passed his face before he shook his head and headed for the fire escape.

“You owe me a new mug.” You remarked pointing a finger at him.

Nightwing looked startled then he gestured to the fire escape exclaiming, “No, he does.”

You shrugged as you headed into the kitchen “He’s your underling.”

“Red Robin is not my underling.” 

Though you couldn’t see him you could hear his tone. He sounded offended and a little upset. From this you could tell that he respected or at least had a lot of respect for Red Robin. 

A memory tickles the back of your mind, someone calling Red Robin little bird. You didn’t exactly remember who but your bet was on Nightwing. 

“Fine, he’s your little bird. Isn’t that what you call him?” You remarked with a shrug. 

“no.” 

You blinked a few times and sighed, “Oh, well anyways he’s still a kid and if he drinks that much coffee I doubt he could actually get me a new mug. I mean he literally has to steal coffee from here... maybe I should get disposable cups.”

A surprised look crossed his face, “Wait, he does this often?”

“Yeah, but usually he drinks all of the coffee and leaves the mug.”

Nightwing hums and he nods as if was contemplating something. Maybe it was why Red Robin did what he did or maybe it was something else. 

“Huh, he must like you if he keeps coming back.”

Letting out a snort you nodded before sarcastically remarking, “Or he likes the coffee.”

Not understanding you were using sarcasm, Nightwing shook his head, a fairly serious look on his face, “It’s instant coffee I doubt it can be that good... It’s a high honor to be liked by Red Robin.” 

“Sure it is...” You rolled your eyes not fully believing him, before you could stop yourself you said, “no one likes me, or at least they shouldn’t”

"Well I like you."

You blinked and looked over to him, he was giving you an innocent look and you blinked again. You couldn’t have heard what you just did right? People wouldn’t tell someone- they wouldn’t tell you they liked you to your face... right?

"Wait, did you just say what I think you said?" 

A smile appeared on his face and he nodded slowly, “Yes, I did in fact say that I like you."

He likes you, he just said so, and repeated what he said. So, he must really mean it, truly mean it. Before you were going about in unknowing and now the reality of everything hit you. 

Of course you were aware people who were your friends liked you, but no one had really ever said it to your face. You were shocked and a little embarrassed. 

"Oh."

A sly grin appeared on Nightwing’s face and he leaned in towards you continuing, “You are the fly ninja after all.”

"Oh my gosh.” You replied as you shoved your face into your hands trying your hardest not to laugh. 

“By the way I’ve been meaning to ask you the fly ninja to all flies or just certain ones?”

You closed your eyes, shaking your head as laughter bubbled up in your lungs. Nightwing ignored your attempts at withholding giggles and continued. 

“Like is it only fruit flies and the ones that hover around bananas or?”

Biting your lip you pulled away from your hands your face red, forcing the laughter back you looked him dead in the eyes and replied, “All flies obviously, I’m not discriminatory.”

He smiled and laughed. Silence cleaved the air and you felt nervous tension arise in you. 

Quickly clambering for a topic to talk about you asked, “What were we talking about again?”

“About how I find you very a-peeling.” 

You hesitated for a moment before giving him a disbelieving look. You shook your head, “... did you just- no. I’m not gonna, no.” 

Pretending it never happened, you look away from him and move towards your couch leaning against it you let out a sigh. 

“Read any good books lately.” Nightwing asks from your kitchen, a clatter of sorts following him, most likely he was raiding your cabinets as well. 

“Of course,” You sighed, working as a librarian meant that you always had a good book, “What about you?”

Almost chuckling he replies, “Well I’m reading a book about anti-gravity... It’s impossible to put down.”

“That’s terrible.” You smiled, shaking your head trying not to laugh as well. 

“Oh I know.” He laughed.

With a sigh you looked over your shoulder momentarily to see him looking into one of your cabinets. Not wanting things to go silent you decided to ask a safe question that will continue the conversation at least for a little while.

“How was your day?”

“It wasn’t too bad,” He began and something in his tone made you narrow your eyes, “Somebody stole all of my lamps. I couldn’t be more de-lighted. And this morning I wanted to take pictures of the fog but I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow.” 

Biting back laughter you turned away from him, placing your face into your hands, “Stop. These puns are too cheesy.”

“But I thought they were gouda.”

You froze rolling your eyes as a slight snort escaped you, “Dude.”

“It’s cheddar if you don’t get mad.” He continued.

Shaking your head again you closed your eyes trying your hardest to tune him out before you burst into a fit of laughter once again. 

“I swiss you had the same humor as me. I won’t provolone this anymore. After all, I havarti taken this too far.” Nightwing snorted laughing as he made pun after pun. 

“Oh ma gosh.”

Looking towards the ceiling you fought off a grin and the laughter, the tired laughter that was building up in your chest. 

“I colby a better parmesan and stop all these cheesy pins but I ricotta continue.”

Before you could stop yourself laughter escaped you as you turned towards him again to see him looking at you with a mischievous smile on his face. You laugh a little harder and his smile widens, “Brie the way, how was your day today? I saga know.” 

Letting out a snort, you smiled at him and decided to try a pun yourself, “That wasn’t very puny.”

For a moment a look of surprise crossed his face before a grin broke out across it and you felt your heart do a strange little fluttering jump.

Shaking his head he laughed, remarking, “Oh! That’s terrible, I love it.” 

Your heart did an even bigger fluttering jump and you looked away from him. You didn’t exactly like what was happening. But you knew. Trying to change the subject before your heart fluttered again you moved around the arm of the couch and sat down. 

“How was your day actually though?”

“Eh.” 

You froze for a moment, it was a rare occasion in which Nightwing only said one worded replies. Usually it meant there was something he didn’t want to talk about or something he really wanted to vent about or ask advice about. 

Not even turning towards him you stuck your hands under your legs and swung them slightly.

“Eh? Why eh?”

There was a pause, almost as if he was hesitant to reply, but then after a breath and silence filling the room making it slightly awkward he replied, “Girl troubles.”

This didn't really surprise you. Girl troubles were common amongst your guy friends, and since you were one of the very few girls who they didn’t ever plan on dating you were used to giving advice. However a strange sort of ache began in your chest and you felt hurt. 

Just a friend, The thoughts whisper almost menacingly, he just sees you as a friend.

Ignoring the ache and the vile thoughts nipping at the back of your mind you raised an eyebrow and turned over your shoulder smiling playfully at him. 

“Oooo do you like someone, as a civilian?... Wait, no, you like a civilian.” You corrected yourself, blinking a few times as you finally began to feel tired. 

Instead of a reply, at first you hear the door to one of your cabinets open with a loud squeak. A rustling for a moment then the cabinet creaking closed. He was stealing your food. A soft smile and feeling appeared and you brought your legs up to your chest. Placing your chin on the dip in between your knees you sighed. 

Honestly you didn’t mind but, it frustrated you a little though, that you were always going to be the best friend never the girl boys fell for. You were for friendship, not dating. Something you were beginning to wish you realized just a little bit earlier, maybe this would then all be easier. 

“Yes,” Nightwing finally replied, “and it was just so frustrating because it seems like she hates me and likes my brother.”

You blinked and for a moment you thought about looking towards him, but you knew if he did he’d realize what he said. You had to approach this carefully, wrapping your arms around your legs you hum slightly before asking somewhat casually,

“Oh wait, you have a brother?”

“Ye-,” You practically see him nodding before he stopped himself. 

Curiosity got the best of you and you decided to push your luck just a bit . 

“It's one of the vigilantes isn’t it.”

Silence followed your question and you looked over to see him giving you a look. A look that said to stop talking, not to press further because you were hitting the nail on the head. 

A smile of disbelief appeared on your face and you pulled away from your legs, eyes wide. 

“Oh my gosh they are all your siblings aren’t they? But obviously they’re adopted. I know Signal’s black, I’m ninety-nine percent sure there was a blonde batgirl and a red-head, Blue Bird literally doesn’t look like any of you, and no one is able to see Black Bat’s face. Oh and don’t get me started on the Robin brigade.”

As you began rambling your hands flew around your face in a flurry of motion. The vigilantes were one of your favorite non-book things to talk about. Mainly because of the one in your kitchen but you really weren’t going to ever get into that... hopefully. 

“You’re not wrong, “He sighed before pausing, “...Robin brigade?”

“I’m not getting into it.��� You shook your head turning back away from him. 

You weren’t about to tell him how ever since the first Robin came into play you like the vigilantes. Not about your opinions and theories, especially not when a lot  of them were about him. Waving away the question you decided to change the subject. 

“Anyways back to your girl problems. Why do you think she hates you?”

You could hear him munching on something as he probably contemplated how to explain the problem to you, “Well she never talks to me willingly, and when she does she always mutters or ends up sounding really angry.”

Twirling a strand of hair around your finger, you thought for a moment about what he said. It sounded a lot like what happens to you. Maybe this girl that he likes, also has anxiety and likes him, or it might just be because he makes her nervous. 

“She might just like you dumbass,” You snorted, rolling your eyes, “I know that’s how it is for me. I mean with the guy I like-, I can’t even say one word without messing it up. So I have to slow it down. ”

You heard more munching and the crinkling of a bag before he mused, “Hmm, you think so?”

“Yeah, or you just make her really nervous.” 

It was more than likely, for you it was both which only made matters more complicated and frustrating. Sometimes you wished you were normal, then this wouldn’t be a problem at all. 

“Makes sense... by the way do you think if you practiced you could talk to him?”

Practice? You had tried practicing in the past, but whenever you tried to talk to him your anxiety took hold of your mouth and you spat out a word jumble instead of what you really wanted to say. 

“Probably not, my anxiety always freaks me out telling me that I’m gonna say the wrong thing and scare him away because I’m too weird or something.”

He walked passed you into the living room before flopping down on your couch. You notice the bad and his hands and for the moment you decided to ignore it. 

“Well just think about it this way, you’re super cool and awesome. And if he can’t see that he doesn’t deserve you.”

You paused for a moment. and looked over at him in slight disbelief, “You think I’m cool?”

“The coolest.” He replied smiling at you. 

It was then that you noticed the bag he had was your Cheetos. While you didn’t mind, at the moment you felt... awkward. Standing up you walked over towards him and flopped down next to him. You needed someway to feel less awkward without sounding like a bitch... then you got an idea

“Aww, that's sweet...” You began turning towards him with a smile, “but if you take my fucking Cheetos again we’re through.”

For a moment you think you’ve made things worse until Nightwing bursts into laughter. Shaking his head he sighed and passed the bag over to you, with the bag now in your hands you looked over to him and took a moment to think over what he said. 

You’re super cool and awesome. And if he can’t see that he doesn’t deserve you

Sighing you sat down next to him and rested your head on his shoulder, pulling a small handful you ate some Cheetos then offered them to him. He began taking some.

Was he telling the truth? Or just trying to make you feel better by saying that. Not knowing which was correct you felt you had to ask him.  

“Do you really think that he wouldn’t deserve me if I make a fool of myself?” You asked as you felt him wrap an arm around your shoulder.

You heard him hesitate before you looked up to see him giving you a contemplating look. 

“If you make a fool of yourself he should be saying something like... like. I think- I think I might just love you a little bit.”

Snorting you rolled your eyes, looked away and remarked without thinking, “Sure he should because unintelligible gibberish is the way to a man’s heart.”

“If he’s worth shit he’ll think it’s cute. I know I do.”

You knew he was flirting with you, you knew because it was something he did regularly. Something that was common with his personality. He constantly, he was never serious of course, that much you knew. So when you looked up at him slightly snorting to see him staring at you a soft and serious look on his face your heart did the fluttery jump and your stomach flipped.

Fucking shit 

Looking away from him you felt your cheeks beginning to flush red. He was nice, he helped you feel a little less like an asshole, less like a bitch, more like a person. A good person. He made you feel cared for... and- and loved. He was amazing and a lot like All the man you’ll ever need-

Wait, no. No. It couldn’t be like that- no. He was hero- a vigilante. You would never be able to know his real identity. You wouldn’t ever actually able to be with him. No matter what your heart felt, no matter how spilt it was you couldn’t even entertain the thought.

His voice yanked you from your spiraling train of thought and you blinked. Giving you a soft smile he asked the question again. 

“How was your day?”

Happy to not have to think about your feelings again you raised your head off of his shoulder and turned to him. Fully prepared to rant and bare your soul. 

“Rough, honestly I made a complete and utter fucking fool of myself. I mean I panicked so much and I laughed, I full on laughed out loud. Cackled even, at the library. I never do that, and to make matters worse my crush, he asked for a book recommendation and I realized that he left his brothers, the two most chaotic people I know alone with each other and I panicked.” 

You were talking quickly, shaking your head as the words stumbled from you, embarrassment following it. For a moment Nightwing was nodding as if he understood when suddenly he sat up straight, looking at you slightly confused. 

“Wait, wait. What happened?” He asked an eyebrow raised.

“Well he asked me for a book recommendation and I realized that he left his brothers alone and I panicked and cursed at him before running back to make sure they weren’t trashing the library.” You explained again waving your hands about yawning afterwards. 

He blinked twice then gave you a shocked look for a moment, “Your crush? Wait, he asked for a book recommendation?”

“Yeah! And then I realized that his brothers-”

Before you could finish he interrupted you a strange look on his face, “Did he say anything else?”

Blinking in confusion you raised an eyebrow thinking over what he said, then you shook your head, “What? Oh uh no I don’t think so.”

“Hmm,” He hummed slightly a smile on his face before he relaxed back onto the couch, “okay.” 

Feeling confused and a little worried, you wanted to talk about how he was acting weird but didn’t know how. So you decided to continue talking about your day. 

“Well after seriously embarrassing myself by going that I fumbled over my words while trying to give him a book. Then I decided to flee so I wouldn’t embarrass myself anymore. I was like five minute away from leaving when a regular- Mira- I’ve talked about her before. Well she came and started talking to me, I swear that give has like a sixth sense because she instantly knew I was freaking out and was able to help me avoid my crush and his brothers... speaking of brothers. I’m like ninety-nine percent sure one of them likes her, or at least is interested.” 

Nightwing was smiling and he had an amused look on his face as if something was very interesting. Chuckling he looked to you seeing the confusion on your face he sighed before nodding. 

“Interesting...sorry but somethings on my mind. When you start to have an anxiety attack or think about something can you accidentally tune stuff out?”  He asked eyebrows raised

You blinked a few times before nodding and leaning against the couch once again. 

“Oh, uh yeah. Sometimes I’m spiraling into an anxiety attack or anxious thoughts I accidentally tune people out... well what happens is that the thoughts overpower my ears.” You nodded with another yawn. 

He nodded and gave you a strange sort of look, you were having a hard time focusing, blinking you kept your eyes open. Rubbing at your eyes you sighed. 

“Tell me about your brother’s fuck ups on patrol, I need a good laugh.” You muttered as you held back a yawn. 

“Okay then,” He replied laughing slightly. 

Leaning against his shoulder again you grunted slightly. After your long day you were finally feeling tired, tired and safe. Nightwing was saying something to you, but you were having a hard time paying attention. Your eyes kept fluttering shut and before you knew it you were asleep. 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

A few days later, you were in the library at your desk going about your daily routine when you spotted Jason in an aisle of book inspecting the pages of a heavy chapter book. Before you could spot any of the other Wayne boys Mira appeared in your peripheral vision a book in her hand and a smile on her face. 

“Okay, before you stop me I just want to say this book is amazing and when you have the time I want to talk to you about it because I need to talk to someone. All the people in my apartment complex are like fifty and above, married or five and under.” She paused for a moment a look of realization crossing her face, “Of course married people aren’t hard to talk to it’s just they don’t want to talk to me and I’m rambling sorry.”

You almost laughed, Mira seemed flustered, something you hadn’t seen ever. The ends of her hair were peeking out of her black hat in an array of different shades of purple. With flushed cheeks and her hazel eyes wide, Mira looked like something was bugging her. 

Leaning on the counter you let out a sigh, but noticed Jason approach towards your desk. A sly smile of sorts appeared on your face. If Jason was in fact interested in Mira a little push wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Unfortunately,” You began with a heavy sigh, “I don’t think I’ll be able to talk for a while... however, I’m sure Jason wouldn’t mind talking to you about it. He was actually the one who got me on the book.”

You gestured to Jason now stood behind Mira. For a moment, Mira froze before turning around, a tight smile on her face. She shot you a slight look of panic before she let out a breath and nodded. 

“Uh, if your willing.” 

Jason smiled at her and nodded. She nodded as well before giving you a quick wave goodbye. Watching them go you noticed how Mira stopped in an aisle still in your eye-line and sat down on the ground. Without even questioning it, Jason sat across from her. 

The library was quiet enough that you didn’t really need to strain yourself to hear what the two of them were saying. You watched as Mira opened the book, hearing Jason say,

“So about the other night-”

Before he could even finish Mira interrupted him her cheeks and ears flushing a dark shade of red, “I’d prefer not to talk about it please.” 

Nodding Jason let out a slight sigh before replying, “Alright.”

You were curious on what exactly had happened between the two of them, but before you could give another thought to it Damian walked up a stack of books in his arms. Raising an eyebrow you gave him a look,

“Starting a project of sorts?” You questioned as you began to check the books out to him.

Damian let out a slight huff before he nodded, “Father said I couldn’t get another pet until I know how to properly take care of it.” 

You paused for a moment to look at the books, they were non-fiction books about a variety of different animals. Spanning from monkeys all the way to squirrels. Shaking your head you bit back a laugh as you imagined Bruce Wayne’s face when Damian brought in all the animals.

“Hmm, I think there might be some more books about animal care in aisle five.” You remarked off handedly noting the gleam in Damian’s eye. 

“Really now?”

You nodded as you began to set the books to the side, pointing you showed him which aisle you were talking about.

“I can hold your books to the side while you go and grab some more, I mean you’ve got to cover all the bases right?”

While usually language like this would cause Damian to give you a look of distain, he bee-lined straight for the aisle. You laughed and turned to watch him when you spotted a guy standing right next to Mira and Jason.

“Are you here for me or him?” Mira asked not even looking up from her book. 

The guy blinked and a extremely confused look crossed his face. He gave Mira a baffled look as he said, “Why would I be here for him?”

A mischievous smile appeared on her face for just a second before she looked up at him, shock all over her face.

“Why the hell wouldn’t you be here for him?” She exclaimed gesturing towards Jason, “Have you seen him? He’s fucking gorgeous!”

You had to shove your fist against your mouth to stop from bursting into laughter. You watched Jason do something similar as his face turned red as his entire body shook. 

The guy went quiet and didn’t say anything else. Mira sighed and shook her head looking back to her book. 

“Well if your here for me fuck off, if your here for him…” She trailed off as if to let Jason finish her sentence.

He did, “Fuck off as well.”

A look of slight surprise was on Mira’s face as she looked to Jason, a smile playing on her lips. “Oh really?”

He nodded and her smile widened before she looked back to her book, looking surprisingly happy. 

“Awesome,” She remarked as she flipped the page, “anyways you heard us, fuck off dude.” 

The guy glared at the two of them and turned away cursing. You laughed letting out a sigh as you saw Jason and Mira share a look before they began talking about the book. 

Looking away from them you noticed Dick leaning on your desk a smile on his face. You flinched feeling your entire body beginning to panic. 

“Hi.”

“Oh, uh,” You remarked before giving him a smile in return, taking in a breath you continued, “Hi.”

“So I read the book,” He says as he pushed up from the desk. 

“Oh,” Is the only thing you can say, your mind felt blank as terror began crawling into every part of you. 

Breathe, you told yourself, remember what Nightwing told you. If he can’t see the real you he doesn’t deserve you

You nodded and tried for a genuine smile on your face. Something flickered on Dick’s face and he smiled brighter. 

“I was hoping we could talk about it over lunch or dinner.” 

You blinked, once, twice then three times as what he said was slowly sinking in. It took you a second to realize he just asked you out. Internally you began to scream, externally your pretty sure the smile was frozen on your face as a look of confusion began at the corners of your eyes. 

Taking in a breath you laughed slightly, nodding you let it out and tried your hardest to speak slowly. If you fucked this up you would never live it down, not only to anyone who heard the story but to yourself. 

“Oh, that. sounds. fun! Sure.” You replied smiling.

“Awesome.” 

It occurred to you, that you would be talking about the book amongst other things. And no matter his opinion you could give him other book recommendations. As excitement for the upcoming date raced in your veins a thought popped into your head, one of the whispers.

What if this is a prank? What if it’s all a practical joke being played

You hesitated for a moment before pushing the thought away. it wouldn’t-couldn’t be a joke. Dick was nice, nice and sweet. As your nerves began to climb up your throat you took another breath in. 

Breathe

Trust

You had to trust, you could do that. Shoving away your worries you focused on the fact that you could recommend more books... something you realized he didn’t know.

“Icabevrecbak-” You began before you heard yourself. 

Heat flushed your cheeks and you squeezed your eyes shut wincing. Peeking one open you didn’t dare try looking at him. 

You can do this, you just had to breathe

“Sorry,” You began not looking at him as you breathed and tried to take it slow, “I meant I could recommend more books if you liked that one.”

“It’s fine.” Dick said waving a hand as if to brush off the apology, “Honestly I think it’s cute.”

You froze, it felt as if your brain just short-circuited. Blinking you felt yourself give him a look of disbelief.

Honestly I think it’s cute, echoed in your ears and then you heard what Nightwing said the night before,

If he’s worth shit he’ll think it’s cute. I know I do

Blinking you realized that he continued to speak. Instead of pretending what was going on you gave him a confused look and he smiled. 

“I’d love if you recommended more book. How does tomorrow sound?”

You didn’t exactly know what was happening but you heard yourself replying, “Uh, great.”

You felt as if you were in a muddle, you could see what was happening and hear it but you could really feel anything. Faintly you heard a ringing and for a moment you were scared you were gonna pass out. A nervous laugh escaped you as you tried to breathe. An even wider grin appeared on his face and he leaned in towards you. 

“You get off at four right?”

Nodding you continued to reply almost robotically, “Uh yeah.”

“Well I’ll pick you up from here then.”

You blinked, the muddle was slowly fading and you were finding yourself again. Clearing your throat you nodded again. You could feel your heart in your chest doing it’s fluttery jump as your stomach did non-stop flips. 

“Okay.” You breathed out blinking again.

Dick nodded then shot you, what you can only imagine his classic playboy smile which sent your mind into a tizzy.

“I’ll see you then.”

“Uh okay, bye.”  You mumbled out as you watched him walk away not exactly sure about what just happened but fully aware that you had a date with him the next day. 

Holy fuck, you had a date with Dick Grayson. You couldn’t believe it, and as you felt your excitement race over you you remembered what Nightwing had, essentially, told you.

-You’re super cool and awesome. And if he can’t see that he doesn’t deserve you. 

 If you make a fool of yourself he should be saying something like... like. I think- I think I might just love you a little bit.  

If he’s worth shit he’ll think it’s cute-

Pressing your face into your hands you tried your hardest not to blush. Not only did you have Nightwing’s words playing in your ears but the feelings you had for both him and Dick. 

Fuck

You were completely and totally torn in half. After a moments thought you sighed. Maybe the phrase All The Man I Need wasn’t entirely true. After all one guy hadn’t exactly met all you needs, however if the both of them did have qualities that you needed- 

No, no you weren’t going to think about that. After all right now you needed to focus on one guy, he was after all the one you were more likely going to end up in a actual relationship with.  You had to focus on Dick Grayson... for now at least. 

For now.