#jail for a hundred years

[shishiiba]

[weirdprophetess]

tlt is so funny because yeah these ten thousand year old people hate each other because they've committed mass genocide, created an empire with so many faults built in and they've fought god knows how many times over the eons they've known each other but also one of these bitches ate peanuts in a meeting once and somebody else has NEVER forgiven him for it

[brainlessbaguette]

Linktober Day 26, Overgrown

Fi really needs a break after BOTW and TOTK. I'm hoping in the next one we can bust her out of some museum where she has been well taken care of. I might cry if they find a way to break her even more for no reason.

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #119

We've all seen the fics where the Rogues return and immediately assume that Peter is Tony's son, leading to a "prank" where Tony and Peter "act" like father and son (they soon realize they barely have to act, cue feelings)

Now, a fic that is a twist on that old favorite.

The Rogues return, and they quickly figure out that Peter is not Tony's biological son, that he started as an intern and as Spider-Man but the two have grown closer since then. The Rogues assume that Tony has never told Peter how much he cares about him. They believe Tony is too emotionally constipated, and that Peter must still think he is "just an intern"

However, in assessing the situation, the Rogues have failed to account for some pretty vital facts: 1) the amount of time that has actually passed, and 2) the fact that Tony Stark would do just about anything, even face and overcome his childhood programming, for Peter Parker

Peter and Tony have known each other for two years now. They have already had all the emotional conversations. Peter sees Tony as a father, and Tony sees Peter as a son, and the whole Ironfam knows it. No one is in the dark about what's going on.

...except the Rogues.

When Peter and Tony realize that the Rogues immediately assumed Tony is emotionally incapable, they decide to prank them by seeing just how long they will keep believing that

Around the Rogues, Peter calls Tony "Mr. Stark," and Tony pretends to be a stone cold bitch (even while "subtly" remaining a helicopter parent). Back on their own floor of the tower, Peter switches easily between "Tony" and "Dad," they have movie nights where they fall asleep on the couch together, and dinners with Pepper, May, Rhodey, and Happy.

The Rogues decide they need to help Tony and Peter realize their feelings. This goes on for a long time.

Then, one day, Peter gets hurt. Bad. Maybe he gets hurt as Spider-Man, maybe it's a kidnapping or hostage situation. One way or another, he ends up calling out for his dad.

The Rogues all hold their breath, expecting Tony to be stunned, to freak out and go hide in his lab. But Tony doesn't even blink. He comforts Peter, holds onto him, promises that he's safe

Finally, it becomes clear that the Rogues... might have misjudged the situation. Just a bit.

[johaerys-writes]

The Troy movie kills off Menelaus. Agree or disagree with the script change?

There is literally NO script change in the Troy movie that I agree with lmao, and Menelaus dying is no exception. Like where do I even begin? From the fact that it is blatantly incorrect? That it completely disregards and throws in the trash Menelaus' later role in the Iliad? That he is supposed to protect and carry Patroclus' body back to the camp (hello??) That he is supposed to survive the war and take Helen back to Sparta (an important detail of the Epic Cycle), and then also appear in the Odyssey to welcome Telemachus and his crew in his home? Like who is supposed to do all those things if Menelaus is dead?

And, okay, let's say that the directors of a shitty Hollywood movie don't give a shit about all that. You have Menelaus of Sparta, the owner of the finest thighs in the Achaean army, be killed by Hector?? Fucking-- Hector? Like I'm willing to forgive a lot but this is just irredeemable. First of all, Hector would never. To have him intercept the duel that is meant to decide the course of the war and which was agreed upon by both sides, to save his bro from supposedly ruthless, bloodthirsty Menelaus? That's just such nonsense characterisation and something unthinkable in the world of the Iliad, a transgression permissible only to a god-- which is what actually happens in the story. Like, I really don't know if Hector or Paris would have been able to go back to Troy and face the Trojan soldiers after having done something like that. The fact that Paris violated Menelaus' hospitality and took off with Helen is a huge thing all by itself, but the fact that Aphrodite had a hand in it is what makes it somewhat acceptable; to have their princes disgrace and humiliate themselves and Troy as a whole like that I think would be a step too far. How the directors even thought of changing something so basic is beyond me.

Second of all, the Troy movie's obsession with framing Hector as the ultimate, most noblest heroic hero PISSES ME OFF like nothing else. As I've said in a previous ask, there are no "heroes" in the modern sense in the Iliad. "Hero" in the Iliad simply means a warrior, a person who does things. The Trojans and the Greeks are similar in customs, battle prowess, culture and refinement despite the infighting and constant bickering of both sides, and despite the fact that the Achaeans are in an imperialistic war against the Trojans. I've heard the argument that the Achaeans are the "barbaric invaders" and the Trojans the "noble invaded" far too often and I simply disagree, this has never been my takeaway while reading the Iliad. Hector, although he's Troy's most powerful, illustrious, loyal defender, a god-honouring person who is kind to his wife, his child, his aging father and mother (there's a lot to sympathise with when it comes to his character), is just as foolhardy, self-important, stubborn, opportunistic and human as any of the Achaeans he interacts with, he isn’t portrayed as being "morally superior" than them in any way because such a thing is irrelevant in the Iliad. It's just not the point of the Iliad to put anyone on a pedestal and elevate them above the others, the humans in the story take a lot of risks and initiatives and their personal struggles matter, but at the end of the day they are all ultimately powerless against the forces of fate and the will of the gods.

TL;DR: to have Menelaus die in the film, and die in such an idiotic way, is a weak-ass, pathetic move that shows no respect for the source material whatsoever, or any of the central characters.

Thanks for the ask! 💙

[cluepoke-archive]

Scariest thing about today is that instagram yelled at me and gave me a community strike for saying I'd kill a man for a hot choccy 😔

[sophieswundergarten]

Mairi doesn’t smile a lot, partly because she has a natural RBF, and partly because she doesn’t smile unless she really means it (which growing up, wasn’t often). This is in stark contrast to Adonis, who smiles constantly. Not because she’s always happy, but because it puts people at ease, and because people are more likely to trust you if you’re smiling.

The only times Adonis drops her smile is around Mairi, and the only pictures you’ll find of Mairi smiling are ones with Adonis

WHY

WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME

[kannra21]

Biting his neck is a want and a need. A duty and a mission. A motto to live by. Life's purpose. Only acceptable form of capitalism except transaction is not money but his pretty moans.

Please, someone put him in a jar and keep him away from Gege...

[usermarquez]

tell them !!!!!!!

[its-shakespeare-baby]

It will forever piss me off that we never find out what happens to my boy Antonio at the even of Twelfth Night. If he got executed/sent to jail, I will riot. Sebastian better have gotten his brother-in-law to pardon his boyfriend, or I myself might just become a pirate.

[all-or-nothing-baby]

just had the most horrible of thoughts:

i know we've all been oops upside our collective heads with the knowledge that cavill is leaving and a hemsworth is taking over the role of geralt BUT SHIT WHAT IF THE PRODUCERS END UP WANTING TO REPLACE JOEY TOO BC THEY THINK THE CHEMISTRY HENRY AND JOEY HAD IS IRREPLACEABLE?!?

pls tell me this won't happen. like even if the show turns to absolute horse shit i'll still be tuning in for joey, y'know? I NEED JOEY DAMMIT

[heliios]

I don’t want to go see the english girl

[amiharana]

Not the anon from earlier but do u think Revali sings or hums for Link when he naps on him? Bird instict kicks in and he coos at him? Do u think sometimes he decides his songbird could use a song himself?

ou;ugh;; anon........ i'm clutching my chest at the cuteness overload... and hIS SONGBIRD OUGHGHHH i've fallen to my knees n i can't get up

i like to think that most rito are naturally good singers and that music/singing is a big part of their culture, perhaps even more so pre-calamity, so revali's pretty good at singing himself :] thinking about revalink singing a duet and harmonizing together now...

BUT REVALI SINGING FOR LINK AAUGHGHGHHHNN my HEART. as prideful as revali is, i think he would actually be a little bit shy n embarrassed about singing since it's not something he's obsessively practiced for like his gale, so he doesn't have full confidence in his singing ability. so he only sings for link under specific conditions, i.e. alone together in a secluded place where no one could happen upon them. but in the same way that revali is completely enamored by link's singing voice, link follows revali like a sailor to a siren's song in midst of a storm. if revali feels like singing, link will give him every drop of attention he can muster eyes wide open like he's trying to somehow tattoo revali's voice on his eardrums, like he'll never hear revali sing again.

thinking about link being gravely injured from a really difficult boss battle, and after revali is done panicking and obsessively tending to link's wounds he sings to link in their nest, mostly to comfort himself and reassure himself that link is fine. but link wakes up from his injury-induced slumber, listening to revali's song. it's soothing and link feels like his injuries are being washed away by the soundwaves from revali's voice.

"beautiful," link murmurs when revali finishes his song.

"you've been awake this whole time?" revali says, caught off-guard.

"hard not to be when you're holding a whole concert in my ears," link mutters, shifting so that his head is now in revali's lap. "keep singing, it's nice."

revali obeys, though still flustered and link falls back asleep to revali's voice singing sweetly to him.

also thinking about revali and link singing to their kids. thinking about link in revali's lap cradling their baby and singing zelda's lullaby to them, and revali humming along while he rebraids link's hair. thinking about revali leading a sing-a-long and fake-conducting for funsies, and link gazing affectionately at him, admiring how good revali is with their children. he joins in on the sing-a-long and revalink end up harmonizing together with their kids and it's a grand and beautiful choir made from revali and link's love <3

good lord anon. this ask is so beautiful and has so much potential within it. please send more i beg.

[mistninja]

how fast i can go from loving burrich to hating him truly i am fitz and fitz is me

[baladric]

i am filled with LOVE and ENTHUSIASM today and yet NO ONE is REPLYING to my TEXTS!! truly i am,, alone in this world,, , i will diminish...... i will go into the west............

[bitchapalooza]

On today’s episode of I Want To Scream:

“Gay people have more right than straight people.” — My dad