#very on brand and just BEGGING to be pranked about it

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #119

We've all seen the fics where the Rogues return and immediately assume that Peter is Tony's son, leading to a "prank" where Tony and Peter "act" like father and son (they soon realize they barely have to act, cue feelings)

Now, a fic that is a twist on that old favorite.

The Rogues return, and they quickly figure out that Peter is not Tony's biological son, that he started as an intern and as Spider-Man but the two have grown closer since then. The Rogues assume that Tony has never told Peter how much he cares about him. They believe Tony is too emotionally constipated, and that Peter must still think he is "just an intern"

However, in assessing the situation, the Rogues have failed to account for some pretty vital facts: 1) the amount of time that has actually passed, and 2) the fact that Tony Stark would do just about anything, even face and overcome his childhood programming, for Peter Parker

Peter and Tony have known each other for two years now. They have already had all the emotional conversations. Peter sees Tony as a father, and Tony sees Peter as a son, and the whole Ironfam knows it. No one is in the dark about what's going on.

...except the Rogues.

When Peter and Tony realize that the Rogues immediately assumed Tony is emotionally incapable, they decide to prank them by seeing just how long they will keep believing that

Around the Rogues, Peter calls Tony "Mr. Stark," and Tony pretends to be a stone cold bitch (even while "subtly" remaining a helicopter parent). Back on their own floor of the tower, Peter switches easily between "Tony" and "Dad," they have movie nights where they fall asleep on the couch together, and dinners with Pepper, May, Rhodey, and Happy.

The Rogues decide they need to help Tony and Peter realize their feelings. This goes on for a long time.

Then, one day, Peter gets hurt. Bad. Maybe he gets hurt as Spider-Man, maybe it's a kidnapping or hostage situation. One way or another, he ends up calling out for his dad.

The Rogues all hold their breath, expecting Tony to be stunned, to freak out and go hide in his lab. But Tony doesn't even blink. He comforts Peter, holds onto him, promises that he's safe

Finally, it becomes clear that the Rogues... might have misjudged the situation. Just a bit.

[mysadcorner]

Peter Pan Dating Headcanons

- Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted for requests -

Masterlist Navigation

• Peter would be very possessive of you, especially if you’re new to the whole concept of magic and the world he comes from. To everyone around him and especially the lost boys you��re something brand new to be around and for them this is exciting, but he doesn’t want them to like having your company - if anything he wants them to be indifferent to you so that he can have you all to himself.

• The two of you go on a lot of walks together away from everyone else as there aren’t many opportunities for the two of you to have some privacy. It’s during these walks that you have deep conversations and are able to enjoy the beauty of nature which always uplifts both of your moods.

• Peter holds you to the same status and respectability that he holds himself to, which is much higher than any of the other lost boys. He’s well aware that he’s in charge and absolutely maintains his authority, and in doing so you also become a leader type but more of a figure to be by Peters side rather than making any plans or actually being able to tell others what to do.

• If you’re not experienced in fighting or how to use swords and knives then Peter will personally train you. He’s always got the threat of pirates and anything else hurting you in the back of his mind, so nothing makes him feel at ease than knowing you’re able to properly defend yourself in the case of a dangerous situation or attack.

• Peter is one of the biggest teases you will ever meet in your life. Not only is he a big fan of teasing you to your face by making embarrassing comments and jokes but he also likes to hide your thing so that you purposefully need to beg him to give you your belongings back - especially if they’re important.

• You’re always being gifted little trinkets by him as one of the ways he wants to show his affection to you. He knows that he isn’t able to give you as much as you would probably have if you were living a normal life, but that’s the beauty of his lifestyle; everyone appreciates the little things and the sentimental value to the stuff they have means much more than their value in money.

• Peter would be practically glued to you whenever he isn’t in need somewhere else or has something urgent to attend to. He loves your company just as you love his and he never feels happier that when he’s with you, so why should he leave and not be by your side when that would only make him feel terrible.

• Both of you become almost dangerous by how often you’re prancing each other (and joining each other in prancing other people). Peters filled with childlike excitement for these kinds of things so there isn’t a day that goes by that someone isn’t being pranked, and if the long day is coming to an end and nothing happened yet, everyone is always waiting in anticipation for what will happen by the end of the day.

• Peter would never want you to leave him no matter how long the two of you have been together. He could have had you with him for 100 years or more and he still wouldn’t be ready to let you leave. He’s grown to need you, and if something ever happened then he wouldn’t never be able to forgive himself, and would probably also spiral into completely delusional and terrible behaviour at the same time due to the amount of pain he’s in.

• Peter tries to shelter you as much as possible and purposefully doesn’t tell you things as to not worry you or let you know that things may be going wrong. He very much believes that he can do anything and will stick by this no matter what, and as he believes this fully he doesn’t see why he should worry you over things that will soon fix themselves if he’s involved.

[bojackbrainrot]

Bad Habits

F/M Sebastian Sallow / F!MC

F/M Ominis Gaunt / F!MC

Could be read as future M/M Ominis/ Sebastian there are some jealousy elements here :)

………….

SUMMARY:

Sebastian has been brushing Ominis off every morning to hang out with that new fifth year girl. This is something Ominis can’t let go on without payback, and if he caught some feelings for the girl on the way- well he wasn’t really complaining.

…………

Sebastian was acquiring a bad habit out of late, every morning he would rise from his bed, mess with his hair and cast a quick scourgify to keep himself fresh. Then, he would turn right after leaving his quarters, instead of left. Both directions led down to the common rooms for the Slytherin house. However, Sebastian was specifically choosing to go the long way to walk around, he was choosing to walk the halls just outside the women’s quarters.

The reason for this may or may not be linked to the new bright-eyed, raven haired fifth year witch who called the third-to-last door on the right her home. Every morning Esmeralda Paddock would leave her room smelling like spice and vanilla, and every morning Sebastian would ‘conveniently’ run into her. Oh- and of course they would just HAVE to walk to breakfast together, for convenience, and if Sebastian ignored Ominis a couple days a week (or more) to do this then- well he hadn’t complained yet.

“Good morning Sebastian, lovely to see you.” Esmeralda’s voice cut through Sebastian’s thoughts, startling him.

“Esme, lovely to see you! I didn’t even see you there,” Sebastian nearly choked at the scent-heavy air that whooshed passed him, he must have caught her on a wash day. It took most of Sebastian’s self control to pin his arms to his sides, fingers absolutely aching to tie themselves in her raven locks.

“I’m sorry to startle you, Ominis sent me an owl this morning so I was in a bit of a hurry.” Esme grinned sheepishly.

“Ominis… sent you an owl? He didn’t tell me you two were on speaking terms.” Sebastian didn’t have a good feeling, anything that the other Slytherin boy said about Esmeralda was far from kind, especially after the Undercroft incident.

“He apologized in the letter, and said he wanted to apologize in person as well, isn’t that nice? I was going to go meet him in the library.”

Sebastian’s anxious brain highlighted the fact that she made no move to invite him along to their likely private meeting in the library, and something painful gripped his heart at the thought. His mind started to spiral, helplessly he reached out for her hand, running his thumb across her knuckles, practically begging with his eyes for her to stay.

“Will I still see you at breakfast? Don’t keep me waiting, I might decide to go pick a fight with Imelda just from loneliness” the adorable laugh Esme gave him was well worth the humiliation of admitting he would miss her.

“I won’t be long, I promise Sebastian. Save me a seat?” With that Esmeralda turned, her hand slipping from Sebastian’s as she left.

Leaving him behind.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Ominis POV

Ominis presumed his little prank on Sebastian might bring that insufferable woman closer to himself, though however long it took to shake the little witch off of him was well worth how envious Sebastian would sound when they finally met up for breakfast.

Of course Ominis had caught on to Sebastian’s (not very sneaky) attempt at brushing him off every morning to go gallivant with her, Esmerelda Paddock the brand new fifth year. Ominis just wanted to mess with Sebastian a bit, teach him a lesson about ditching old friends. He would do this by hitting where it hurt, if Ominis took the little Slytherin girl’s attention away from Sebastian for even a moment, he knew it would drive the boy insane. Just thinking about it made him giddy with anticipation.

Ominis was waiting in the school library for the girl, normally there were at least a few students about- rarely before the first meal of the day however. Which was the perfect time to play out his plan.

“Ominis? You wanted to see me?” Esmerelda approached the corner the blond had chosen to set himself in, she found him leaning against a windowsill.

“Hello, Esmerelda.”

“Call me Esme, listen- before you say anything I want to apologize too…”

Ominis had opened his mouth to recite the lazy apology speech he’d crafted for this moment, though it snapped shut when he was interrupted by the girl wanting to apologize to him instead. This wasn’t quite how he’d pictured this going.

“ Ah- Esme, right. I’m listening.” As far as he knew, only Sebastian called her Esme. Maybe this little plan was working better than he’d hoped.

“I’m sorry for lying to you about the Undercroft. Sebastian wanted to tell you about inviting me himself, but I realize that by trying to protect a relationship that isn’t mine I just made things worse. I’m really sorry, can’t we be friends?” Esme finished with a huff, letting out all her air at once in a nervous sigh. Her words had come out fast, and nervous and genuine. It was something Ominis hadn’t expected.

And then there were soft fingers grabbing his hand, and Esme must be pulling him towards her because he felt his palm press into something soft- and oh. So warm.

“Feel my heart beating fast? I’m really nervous right now, I really didn’t mean to hurt you, I hope you can forgive me.”

Her heart was beating fast. The feeling of the rapid thumps traced up the nerves in his arm, he could practically feel his own heart kicking to match its pace

“Ominis?”

He realized he hadn’t said a word in minutes, between the girl’s odd way of convincing him to forgive her, and her apology- well Ominis was beginning to feel a bit helpless. He could feel heat creeping up his neck to rest at his cheeks. Ominis doesn’t think Esme realized that in order to feel her heart, Ominis would have to be touching part of her breast as well, and while she didn’t seem to notice, Ominis definitely did. Which was the reason he started to sweat bullets while Esme continued to press his palm into her chest.

“Sorry, Esme. I was merely thinking it over.” His voice came out more like a squeak, he cleared his throat to continue, sounding barely better.

“I forgive you, of course.”

Esme dropped his hand then, Ominis missed the connection immediately. The warmth, the buzzing electricity that coursed through his nerves at being able to feel her, he missed it ferociously. His own feelings knocked the breath from him with their intensity.

“Oh how wonderful! Sebastian will be so happy to hear we’ve made up! Thank you for giving me a chance, Ominis. Walk with me to breakfast?” The scent of something spicy and sweet brushed past him, footsteps leading away indicated she was leaving and Ominis tried to match her pace.

“I doubt that.” He muttered slightly amused at the new development, Ominis’ heart hadn’t slowed since she broke away from him. And he could feel the beginnings of a bad habit forming, changing the path of how his mornings would go from then on.

Though it seems He and Sebastian may just have to share in this bad habit.

…………

I might make this a series so bookmark it on AO3 if you like my writing!

[wavering-eyes]

The Kids are Grounded - May 2022 Banlist

It’s been a while! What’s four years anyways.

Let’s briefly get into the last format. I’m gonna talk about it at two discrete points since I think both of them are important for context.

Also warning. This is a lot of me bitching! This format sucked hard.

First off, YCS Charlotte. The best deck without question was Adventurer Prank-Kids, with notable high placements from Tenyi Swordsoul, Eldlich (both Cyberse and stun variants), Despia, etc. That top 32 seems surprisingly diverse, but make no mistake: Adventurer Prank-Kids was the deck to beat. I took that deck (with zero practice, mind you) to game 3 of the final match of a regional flight and I still don’t know what Weather Washer actually does.

Since then, much has changed. Albaz Strike released and Branded Despia shot up to become the top deck of the format, again uncontested in that respect. I would put Adventurer Prank-Kids, Floowandereeze, and Tenyi Swordsoul as the main contenders right below that, and everything else in a tier below those, but for reasons I’ll explain later, I’m pretty sure Konami disregarded all of their tournament data after YCS Charlotte.

There’s a few things to note about all of this. First off, people have been begging for Artifact Scythe to be banned due to its degeneracy, but none of the decks playing it are tier 1 contenders. It is simply not that good to commit your DPE effect to an Artifact Scythe when one copy of Rite of Aramesir is enough to put you in a winning position without using the Extra Deck at all. Second, I said “seems” surprisingly diverse when describing YCS Charlotte’s top cut because most of those decks are playing either a DPE engine, an Adventurer engine, or both. And finally, right before/during YCS Charlotte, there was a phase where many players opted to play “pile” decks such as B.A.S.E.D. or Rose Dragon Adventurer Tenyi, etc, so I think it helps to categorize the decks of that format into one of three main categories:

DPE/Adventurer decks. Often seen together.

Halqifibrax-Auroradon decks. Always seen together.

Stun, including Floowandereeze and Trap-focused builds of Eldlich. Return to bird.

So what’s the strengths of these engines? Well.

DPE has totally displaced Red-Eyes Dark Dragoon because its interruption is still very strong and the materials let you draw two cards later on. It’s easy to look at a card like Dragoon, see that it’s Chaos Max with an omni-negate and removal, and assume it has to be the better card, but you still have to pitch a card to activate that whereas DPE rapidly lets you win via card advantage. Beyond that, if you draw Fusion Destiny, you can just activate it at the end of your combo, but if you draw Red-Eyes Fusion, you’re out of luck.

Adventurer cards are just stupidly overtuned for a million different reasons. The entire engine is ten cards including Foolish Burial. Water Enchantress’s search effect works in GY or hand and adds from GY or deck. Rite of Aramesir is completely impossible to interrupt with hand traps anyone plays in main. If you have any monster you can summon from hand, it makes an omni-negate by itself in under 5 summons which is also recursive if you don’t deal with Fateful Adventure. Dracoback, the Rideable Dragon, the “brick” people play with this engine, is free removal and a free Spell to pay for the plus of Fateful Adventure, and once you’re done, it can even be a free spell to send off of Magician’s Souls.

Like, seriously? Foolish Burial/Water Enchantress/Rite plus Magician’s Souls/Illusion of Chaos/Preparation of Rites puts three monsters and one negate on board while drawing two cards and potentially bouncing one of your opponent’s. This doesn’t even take your normal summon! You can play 7 or more copies of each starter of this combo!! Something is very wrong here.

It should really not be discounted that all these cards are huge. If you can wipe a board, Gryphon Rider and an Adventurer Token do 4000 damage by themselves. I played an Accesscode Talker and a Knightmare Unicorn in my extra at YCS Charlotte and never made either a single time because Adventurer cards did all of that lifting by themselves. It’s an all-in-one package: insane card advantage, disruption, protection, damage. Off of one card. The standard ratio for hand traps in a 40-card deck shifted up to 12 minimum because you need to count on having two at all times, since one of them is dead by default. Three of these will always be Ghost Ogre since that’s the one that counters Fateful Adventure.

Oh, and if you play Link Spider, you can turn these monsters into a Verte if you need to. Just thought I should mention that!

I imagine you’re probably well aware of how broken Halqifibrax is, but Auroradon combos have exploded in popularity recently, making Deskbot 001 the default tuner to summon off of Halqifibrax. Essentially, you make Halq into Auroradon, summon tokens, summon back the Deskbot for free, and go off from there. Into anything. You want Herald of the Arc Light to counter Forbidden Droplet? You got it, with two tokens left over to boot. Shooting Riser Dragon? You got that too, send Fairy Tail - Snow from deck and keep going with your remaining token. Borreload Savage? You got that too, just go through Cupid Pitch first and search another card while burning your opponent. Baronne de Fleur? Sure, why not, you have the materials right there.

With that said, the only tier 1 deck playing that combo is Swordsoul, and it has two main Halq lines. Off of two Tenyi monsters including Adhara, or any Tenyi except Adhara plus Vessel for the Dragon Cycle, you can either make raw Baronne to protect your following Swordsoul plays (since you still have a Normal Summon), or you can turn two tokens and the Deskbot into Yazi, pop it with Auroradon, summon out Taia, add back a Wyrm off of Adhara, sync for Baxia sending Mo Ye, and revive Mo Ye by popping an Auroradon token with Baxia, revealing the monster you just added.

So you get either a 3-card Swordsoul hand protected from interruption by Baronne, or you get a full Swordsoul board of Chi Xiao, Qixing Longyuan (you even get to draw a card off of this), and a Chaofeng made with Baxia, without using a Normal Summon. If you draw Longyuan here, you can also get Blackout.

In other words, Synchro is about as busted now as it was with Linkross.

Beyond that, Floowandereeze. If you’ve run into this once, you know what it does: it has a one-card combo that will lead to a Empen, a big beater and floodgate on legs, and your plays will probably be interrupted by Barrier Statue of the Stormwinds, Raiza the Mega Monarch, or Mist Valley Apex Avian. I have my complaints about Floowandereeze’s insane advantage loop and their ability to maindeck Dimension Shifter as disruption and insurance against common hand traps, but I think it’s kind of pedestrian by comparison to the broken engines floating around.

Anyways, this has gone on for too long. Let’s talk about the list.

Forbidden

Mecha Phantom Beast Auroradon

See above. Halqifibrax is not getting banned anytime soon because Konami loves it, so this is the next best thing. Good riddance.

Prank-Kids Meow-Meow Mu

Prank-Kids plays are no longer a 1-card combo since that’s precisely what the Link-1 enabled. You can consider this deck dead. I really don’t think the builds running Polymerization are going to win anything nowadays.

Predaplant Verte Anaconda

The Link era of Yu-Gi-Oh has led to a bunch of points where two monsters makes a broken full board. Two monsters used to be Orcust combo; now it’s DPE. As cool as the fringe strategies involving this card can be (I’ve drafted out a deck that uses it to send Miracle Synchro Fusion), this card needed to go for the health of the game; this was basically the default backup for any interrupted combo of any kind. Your opponent discards hand traps from their hand and then you just stick DPE anyways, and they win if they play through it and lose if they can’t. Fun, right?

On that note, since Fusion Destiny for DPE now has as many bricks as it does starters, you can expect to see it gone from most decks except HERO builds. Maybe there’s some merit in playing Keeper of Dragon Magic for it, too? There’s also a Predaplant fusion that searches Fusion spells if sent to GY, but it’s a slow search and I’ve only ever seen it once as a tech option in Invoked Dogmatika.

Limited

Jet Synchron

Jet Synchron was last seen doing one-card Halqifibrax combos (in Eldlich...) leading into Linkross plays into whatever else. Auroradon and Linkross are both gone so I guess they’re not scared of that anymore. One copy is enough for any deck playing legitimate Synchro combo, so go nuts I guess.

Also, if you pitch a card, this turns raw Halqifibrax into a Scythe lock with Baronne on top. Halq summons this, make Linkuriboh, pitch a card to revive Jet, link both for Dagda, pass. Next main phase, Halq effect, chain Dagda, then summon T.G. Wonder Magician and target the Scythe you just set. Once that resolves, cl1 Scythe on field and later on, chain Wonder Magician to Synchro with it.

That sounds like it sucks, and it kind of does. It’s about as viable as the Azzathot combos Orcust used to play, and I thought those sucked too, but they also saw play, so who knows.

Performapal Monkeyboard

I’ll let the expert take this one.

I really didn’t expect anything from Pendulum with the release of Beyond the Pendulum--I think that card is much worse and more prone to interruption than Electrumite, and Pendulum has lost a number of Extra Deck engines over the years--but now I’m not so sure. Pendulum might really be back.

Red Rose Dragon

This was a common component of pile decks running Halqifibrax and Auroradon; you could turn this and say, Magician’s Souls into Herald of the Arc Light, then this would summon out Roxrose Dragon, which searches Basal Rose Shoot to reborn a Rose Dragon later. It was a pretty solid engine for supplying a steady stream of Tuners to match all the tokens you get off of Auroradon and/or monsters you get off of Adventurer cards.

There’s a slim chance this could have seen play after the Auroradon hit, but I doubt it now that it’s at 1.

Yata-Garasu

This card is irrelevant at 1 and it will be irrelevant at 2 or 3 once they unhit it again. There is zero reason to Yata-Lock your opponent when you have the opportunity to win the game in a million other ways, novelty aside.

Crystron Halqifibrax

Shooting Riser Dragon

These hits do nothing; every deck that played these only ever played one.

Change of Heart

Mind Control is now at 2, except one copy is slightly better than the other. I’m not going to tell you that this card is bad, but given that most tier 1 decks have an 85% chance of drawing a hand trap in 5 cards, with a 47% chance of a probable second or more, and you’re nearly 100% likely to be interrupted by a monster going second, Triple Tactics Talent is this, except it can also be Pot of Greed or Confiscation if you need it to be. Also it doesn’t target.

So. Not bad, not irrelevant, but currently outclassed. Definitely keep a copy around, though.

Time Seal

This is irrelevant though.

Semi-Limited

Just gonna group these together to save time.

Dinomight Knight, the True Dracofighter

Trickstar Light Stage

Fire Formation - Tenki

Cyber Angel Benten

Unhits to decks that have been power crept or hit in other ways. Tenki in particular likes to go up and down the list a lot. Light Stage could have been put to 3 ages ago, though it’s still a pretty stupid card in my opinion.

Pot of Desires

Swordsoul still played the lone copy of this, so it’s strange to see it come up the list. I said it was hit to sell Prosperity, and I still stand by that, but in practice, Floowandereeze is the only deck that plays that card.and everything else that wants card draw just plays Triple Tactics Talent right now. Interesting.

Wall of Revealing Light

Reversal Quiz best deck 2022.

Unlimited

Night Assailant

Was reprinted in Hidden Arsenal... without an errata. No, that does not make it broken, or even good.

Trishula, Dragon of the Ice Barrier

This is by no means a bad card, and I’d say it hasn’t even been power crept, but Junk Speeder combo is the only deck that would ever make more than one and it has seen no serious play ever. Go off, Synchro kings. Just don’t get Veilered.

Salamangreat Miragestallio

Card was never played at more than two copies, usually only one.

A Hero Lives

Salamangreat Circle

Scapegoat

All consistency unhits. A Hero Lives is still pretty busted, but HERO will never do that well until it has an answer to Nibiru. Scapegoat has been power crept. Salamangreat has probably been power crept as well, though I think anything Cyberse will always have some potential in the future.

END OF LIST

So that’s that. I’m guessing that Konami took data from YCS Charlotte to make the banlist and ignored Guadalajara and the following Regionals where Despia dominated top cut because Despia cards are all over new product and they still need to sell it.

Adventurer cards somehow came out completely unscathed. I am baffled.

Prank-Kids are dead.

Swordsoul Tenyi still have all their cards minus the Auroradon combo. That deck’s probably okay but it’s much easier to interrupt.

Floowandereeze unhit. I haven’t played this deck for myself, but getting Shiftered while I was on Swordsoul Tenyi did basically nothing so I imagine that was one of its worst matchups. I would hazard to guess that they benefit a little overall, though that depends on how much Despia gets pushed up by this and how good that matchup is for them. Shifter is pretty destructive on paper.

Cyberse Eldlich is dead, so I guess that deck has to go all in on floodgates. Trap decks in general should have a much easier time since there’s no DPE, but Adventurer cards are still notably strong against floodgates.

Next update says “in a few months”. It is going to be a rough time for anyone not playing Despia, as far as I can tell. Prank-Kids was the best Adventurer deck, so I guess the next best one down the line is the default for anyone not playing that--but I expect a loose one-deck format unless Therions go huge.

Anyways, until next time.

[cosmojjong]

list of pentagon moments that are absurd and don't sound real but that are indeed:

1. kino took pics of shinwon in just his underwear like a proper photoshoot at the dorms and when pentagon hosted a little bazaar among themselves hongseok paid 70.000won to get his hands on that disposable camera. he still owns the pictures

2. them playing a zombie game (completely naked, at that) in the pool deciding they'd be biting each other and whoever was to scream would lose... sounds fake but it happened

3. them playing a game blindfolded, having to guess which member it was - shinwon guessed who hui was just by sticking his fingers up hui's nostrils

4. shinwon convincing hui to buy a box that had nothing but the balenciaga logo on it, telling him that it'd be filled with great, valuable goods. hui paid 50.000won for him to end up finding out it was only filled with paper, (and a piece of paper with some random ass prediction about how hui would have a great year) useless to say hui was NOT happy and side-eyed shinwon for the entire live

5. another one: when they sent wooseok and kino downstairs to get food and then the others were like 'you know what would be fun? let's spank each other and if the person getting spanked doesn't react, they have to switch places.' so the youngest ones got back to the hyungs spanking the shit out of each other. (thank you user ggunight)

6. shinwon changing his ucube nickname for fun and accidentally getting it stolen by someone who didn't want to give it back. he begged for it to be given back before moderators woke up. changed it to pentag0n_신원 (pentag0n_shinwon) while waiting and still... nothing. after two hours of trying he went to sleep and the following day he titled his live 'shinw0n say s0mething'

7. when shinwon asked unis to boo at them @ isac if they made mistakes. unis started booing so much that fans of other groups were wondering what the hell was wrong with ptg's fandom...... also pentagon spent 90% of their time doing everything other than focusing. let's not forget when they were fooling around jinho's shoe accidentally hit a group's member and he decided to buy them sweets to make up for it lmao

8. yanan literally implying that marriage is a trap on weibo (and he is absolutely right)

9. hui saying he saves demos with keyboard smashes a lot of the time to the point where many songs get lost or forgotten...... praying for the bangers that will never see the light

10. a few months ago cube signed a deal with tipco, importing juice from thailand. shinwon started drinking their orange juice like crazy to the point the company emptied their stocks to send him a wall of juice boxes. it didn't end there though..... my boy started reviewing their juice flavors and that entire free promotion scored pentagon a deal with the company, that decided to make them their brand ambassadors lmaooo

11. changgu was in the practice room doing some aerobic exercises he'd never done before and got injured, and because yanan didn't know how to speak korean well when he first got to south korea, he hurriedly rushed to shinwon and told him that changgu was dead and shinwon was like WHAT??????? jwkdhwkdjks

12. hui and shinwon tried communicating with a fan subbing their livestream in real time and completely lost it when the fan replied as if they'd just discovered the peak of technology lmaoooo

13. yanan pranking wooseok by turning off the boiler four times, the two of them having a conversation about the degrees of the water and wooseok consequently locking yanan on the balcony with his underwear only to get back at him

14. shinwon said when unis meet him they can greet each other, like, in a code. universe can say 'skrrrt' very quietly and he'll reply with 'skrrrt skrrrt' 😭

[i will keeping updating this]

[astaroth1357]

Brothers with an Insanely Lucky MC

Lucifer

Honestly, that kind of takes some weight off of his shoulders…

It’s a lot easier to keep a lucky MC alive, even if they’re only dodging death by the narrowest margin.

He really wasn’t sure how to take their impeccable luck at first… It was more than the fact that a weak human somehow surviving within the world of demons. Small things always seemed to go their way…

If he set them on a task, it would always somehow get done even if they forgot about it. Lesser demons could try to eat them, but they'd narrowly avoid their waiting teeth every time...

When he finally noticed that his brothers' plans wouldn't fail quite so horrendously in their presence, he actually started to encourage them to be around them more.

Don’t get him wrong, this wasn’t out of some brotherly desired to see his family succeed or anything. There'd just be less mess for him to have to clean up later... 🙄

Mammon

MC is his new religion.

You think I'm joking? After he discovered that the MC was like a talisman of luck or something he started worshiping them like a living deity.

Man waits on them hand and foot, if they need a drink then he's got it. If they need food, he'll feed them. Rest? How about a back-rub?

Of course, he's not doing this for nothing. They're his ace-in-the-hole baby!!

Pretty much uses the MC like a good luck charm of sorts. He makes them do a whole bunch of weird superstitious rituals when he goes gambling like blowing on his dice or picking numbers for him.

It all must work, because he starts getting into winning streaks more often than not!

Even MORE possessive of them if you can believe it. He almost never lets them leave his sight, lest they disappear and his future riches with them...

Pretty much proposes to them every time they net him another jackpot. He's only half joking...

Leviathan 

It took him longer than Mammon to realize how lucky they were (largely because he was mostly in his room) but even he could see it.

He started catching on when he began taking them to his merch giveaways. Any time he brought them with him, he always got something no matter how rare, how scarce, or how astronomically unlikely it was...

More or less converted to the Church of MC along with Mammon after their presence got him a limited edition Black Mage Ruri-chan figurine, of which only 10 of its kind in existence... 

After that point… well, he was almost as possessive and demanding as Mammon.

Chances are at any point of the day, Mammon and Levi are squabbling over who gets to be with the MC, especially if there's a drawing or contest happening soon.

He can, will, and has summoned Lotan against his brother before and is not sorry about it. Merch is serious business!!

Satan 

Doesn't believe in luck… or at least he didn't at first.

But after watching the MC for a while he did take notice that things often went their way… If they hadn't studied for a test, the teacher would be sick or they'd always be just in time for the last dessert in the cafeteria.

After some time he just couldn't ignore how… "lucky" they were. So he had to run some tests…

He spent a whole week doing little experiments with them. At one point he gave them a coin, told them to pick heads or tails and then had them do a 100 flips…

It was heads 90% of the time. That… that just shouldn't happen… And the rest of the tests went similarly. By the end of it, he was utterly astonished. It was like they were a black hole warping the statistics of the world around them!

In truth, they converted him to a firm believer in luck… not that he planned to use them nearly as much as Mammon or Levi.

He was more than happy to use them to his advantage when pranking Lucifer, thoug. Get the MC in on his schemes and 9 out of 10 were always successful (in some way or another). Good luck, Lucifer!!

Asmodeus 

Didn't think their luck was anything major until they started scoring the attention of even Devildom nobles…

And it’s not like they were some master of flirtation or anything. They’d just happen to be in the right place or say the right thing to become the center of attention without even trying! They could be having a completely unrelated conversation and then bam, whole room laughs! What kind of social sorcery is that??

He tried asking for their secrets but it turns out they’re just that lucky… Good for them.

Not nearly as obsessed with their luck as Mammon or Levi, but still thinks that it comes with its advantages all the same...

Asmo likes to take them out when he's looking for hookups because even he has better luck if they're backing him up.

Shopping trips are also a must. Sometimes they’ll walk into a store right as it has a sudden flash sale on his favorite brands and it makes him want to kiss them right then and there!

For Halloween, he helped them dress up as one of those Lucky Cats he sees in Levi’s anime sometimes, but that backfired hard because all it did was make Satan carry them off for the night... That was supposed to be him, dammit!

Beelzebub 

Honestly the last to notice how lucky they were, even behind Levi.

Beel’s a very “take things as they are” sort of guy so he didn’t expect that there could be a pattern to his human’s surprisingly charmed life.

Sure he noticed that he won more games when the MC attended, but that could have been anything right? He’d joke that they were like a good luck charm, but he never meant it.

Then he started to notice that the kitchens would mess up and give him bigger (than usual) portions when he’d bring the MC along…

Again, that could have been anything right…? Right?

Finally started suspecting that the MC had something to do with it when he saw Levi and Mammon fighting over them like some kind of deity meant to give them blessings… Huh…

Even after he figured it out the most he ever asked of them was to attend his games. He figured that his brothers Mammon and Levi would take enough of their time as is... Poor human.

Belphegor 

Couldn’t have cared less if they were lucky or not. He’s not a scumbag like Mammon or pathetic like Levi so he wasn’t about to go begging for them to “bless” his shoes or something.

Of course, he did get some passive benefit from it like everybody else. They were sleeping buddies after all.

He found out that on the nights they slept together something would usually happen in to the school the next day to cause either a late start or early out…

Pretty neat, but unfortunately he’d have to literally pry them out of Mammon’s whiny, irritating grasp to do so which meant it didn’t happen often.

Similar to Satan, he picked up that his pranks usually went better with them around. They didn’t even have to do much, they could just poke a tube or something and bang! Instant success.

Between Satan and Belphie, Lucifer really started to regret letting the MC help his brothers with their schemes...

Also realized that a more motivated man could try them out at the stock market, but that wasn’t him and he figured Mammon was so dumb that even luck couldn’t fix his stupid so he never brought the idea up to him. His loss.

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Safe With Me (Yandere!Plat!C!Ranboo x F!Reader) 2/???

TW: Yandere, blood, canon lives lost, mention of painkillers, kiddnapping, swearing

Part One

Over the next few days, he practically begged you to come to live with him in the Snowchester mansion, claiming that you could be much safer there, and closer to him. A.k.a, away, FAR away from Technoblade.

While you liked the thought, you explained to him that you liked your home and wanted to wait a bit before moving in. Ranboo was a little upset but quickly went back to smiling and saying he understood... He couldn't be mad at you... This was life changing for ender's sake.

Then your last day at his home came quicker than he would have liked.. but that's not the only reason he hated that day...

Maybe the voices took over?

Or maybe he was of his own free will when he did it..?

He never fully got the answer out of you and he never understood what happened... He never understood why that damned man decided to take everything from him that day...

You had walked out the door a few minutes ago with a smile on your face and a travel cup full of whatever hot drink you had made before leaving... Then he heard an ear-piercing scream.

Stumbling over his own long and lanky legs, he ran out the door as fast as he could, crashing and tripping over furniture before reaching his front door. He threw it open with a cry of your name and saw the scene he feared the most...

Every single one of his fears had come true.

You were laying lifelessly on the stark white snow, eyes and mouth wide open with dull terror as your clothes were covered in an almost beautiful ruby red liquid seeping from a hole in your chest. Your once shiny (e/c) eyes were glazed over like the glass eyes of a doll, your skin rapidly losing any sort of beautiful hue he had once studied.

Ranboo couldn't stop the scream of bloody murder that escaped his throat as he stumbled through the snow and collapsed to his knees beside your colourless corpse. His hands quickly became covered in the red liquid as it seeped into the snow, flowing freely from the wound that had been created by the man he has once respected.

He knew you were already gone by the time he came out, but he still kept trying to get you to wake up. His colourless hands gently shaking you, holding your face in between his stained hands, trying anything to keep the life from leaving your body, but obviously failing.

"She has one more life left. You're overreacting." His pink-haired neighbour growled softly as your body began to break apart into particles. Despite the piglin's words, the other hybrid sobbed hysterically with his head thrown back to the sky, ignoring the tears burning into his skin.

"I'll kill you."

"Heh?"

"I'll kill you for this, Technoblade." Ranboo tilted his head back down as the black part of his skin began to seep into the white part. His green eye turned into an amethyst-coloured purple and his mouth began to split open.

The next few days to him were a blur... Or that was his memory getting worse...

He'll never really know...

He just knew that you weren't safe without him... You were on your last canon life! You had to be protected...

Even if that meant you couldn't leave...

He had a few more days before you woke up from your respawn, so he set to work quickly. Ranboo began to build an obsidian building, reminding him very much of his panic room, but he couldn't focus on the fact for very long. He had to build something only he could get into. Something that would protect you. Something that couldn't be destroyed.

It was difficult and took longer than he would've liked... But it was safe and out of the way. No one would find it, but that was what he wanted. It was for your safety! And so he could remember you forever! He couldn't complain even if he was tired and his hands were covered in blisters from mining for so long...

Carrying your momentarily lifeless body through L'Manberg was stressful enough, with the emotional and mental pain of carrying the person he held closest to him, but with everyone quickly running up and asking what happen... He found himself unable to say anything other than, "Technoblade..." before brushing past them as quickly as possible, trying to get you to your new home.

There was an almost disgustingly familiar throbbing in your head that awoke you a few days later. You couldn't place where you had felt the headache before, but didn't think too much about it as you just decided to get up and start your day, "I wonder if Ranboo wants to hang out again, I mean... Then again, we've spent an entire week together. Mans is probably sick of me by now..." You laughed a bit to yourself, trying to hide the little stab of self-deprivation that filled your body.

Pushing yourself out of bed, you looked around and sighed, seeing nothing out of the ordinary, "At least I unpacked before I passed out... Now, where did I put the stupid painkillers...?" You walked out of your room, cringing at the cold wooden oak floors and sight of the darkened windows, "Ooookay. Slept less or longer than I thought... Maybe social interaction is more draining than I would like..."

You shuffled around your house and lit a few of the lanterns in your kitchen, digging through the cupboards to find something to alleviate the throbbing pain behind your eyes, "Oh! I went shopping before I passed out? Huh... Maybe I got a bit tipsy or something? Wait... I didn't buy painkillers? Dammit! I always need something I didn't buy..."

Groaning, you put your hand to your head before grabbing a sweater to put over the clothes you slept in, which were the clothes you left Ranboo's house in, before slipping on your shoes. Once you looked at yourself in the mirror, you deemed yourself ready to go outside and head by the store, so you opened the door...

Only to walk into a solid black wall.

"H-huh?" You whispered, gently reaching up and touching the cold material blocking your exit, "Ob...Obsidian? What on earth?... What kind of prank is Tommy pulling now?!" You huffed angrily and walked over to a window... Only to realize it wasn't dark... Every exit was covered in obsidian. "Okay, okay, what the- oh, wait I have tools! Ha ha Tommy, suck a pickaxe."

Walking over to your storage room and opened the chest that held your tools and materials to make tools, only to find it completely empty. Your armour was gone too! This... Was an elaborate prank... Maybe Tommy got help with it. You pushed yourself up and walked over to your enderchest, only to find it completely gone!

Dammit, Tommy definitely got help with this...

Realizing that they wanted you to panic, you huffed and sat down on your bed, crossing your arms in thought, "This... Ah, just gotta wait it out I guess..." You mumbled angrily, flopping onto your couch, groaning in annoyance as the action irritated your headache. Maybe you could sleep it off? Yeah, that was your best bet.

You weren't exactly sure how much time had past to be completely honest? Maybe a few days? Or a few hours? There wasn't much to really do during this horrible prank, you couldn't even enchant your tools or even make any! You didn't even have knives for cooking dammit! Plus... You were beginning to run low on food...

This time you woke up to something different. It sounded like Redstone activating and pistons sliding against each other before the door creaked open. The prank was finally over! Thank god! You shot up from your bed and walked towards the front door, only to see Ranboo standing there with bags filled with groceries dangling off his arms and tail. With a sigh, he decided to put them on the kitchen counter before looking around, only to completely light up at the sight of you, "(Y/n)! Hello!"

"Ranboo..." You smiled, your voice a bit hoarse from the lack of use, "Please tell me Tommy's terrible prank is over and I can go outside and touch grass again.

The hybrid's expression didn't change, "You can't go."

Your smile faltered a bit and you grit your teeth. This prank was still going on? How annoying. Turning quickly towards your door, you huffed as you saw it blocked off by obsidian again, "Boo... Please let me out... I'm not enjoying this prank anymore. I don't even have a clock-"

"Oh? Did I forget to build you a clock when I built this place? My bad, I'll make you one tonight so I can give it to you tomorrow." He continued to smile, beginning to put away your groceries for you... Somehow having the exact brands you always bought... And... Knowing exactly where they went, "But, you can't leave."

"This... This isn't funny anymore, Ranboo." You spoke firmly, but your voice wavered a small bit in realization as your face drained slightly of colour, "Built... This place? You put me here?"

The tone of voice, while still not lessening his smile, caught his attention, "Oh... You're looking pale... Here, let's get you to bed. You aren't looking too good and I don't want you getting sick." He walked over and put his hands on your shoulders, trying to get you to head into your room, but you wouldn't budge, "(Y/n), come on, I'm just doing what's best for your health and safety. We don't want you to lose your final life, especially to an easily preventable sickness, do we?"

"Final... Life...?" You were going to be sick... Quickly lifting your arm into view, you realized he was right. There was only one black line left. There were two when you visited Ranboo... What...? "I'm-I'm not tired... Ranboo, what happened?!"

"I'm not going to taint your memories with something so horrifying..." His voice, while sounding sickly sweet, sounded disgustingly morbid, "That's why you're in here! So I can keep you completely safe from the dangers of the outside world and remember you forever!" He was still wearing that damned smile...

He took you away from your life...

And he was fucking smiling...

-

GENERAL TAGLIST: Empty

'SAFE WITH ME' TAGLIST: @kylobensgirl

[friendlyneighborhoodcapricorn]

alright so I actually didn't want to directly start spamming you with requests but since the thing with lancelot happened, I'll throw all my principles out of the window and beg you to fix my broken heart. just,,, would you care to share some headcanons? any and all? of whatever kind. general, platonic, romantic, detailed or weirdly specific. something soft to carefully glue everything back together that the show shattered :')

Mary, you’re literally always welcome to request something. Even if it says somewhere that my requests are closed, you’re like one of the two people whom I make an exception for lol

Alright, so some of these might actually have been in the show at some point, it’s been a while since I last watched so that definitely could be 😂

(Here, have a Lancelot gif for the pain <3)

Alright, so right off the bat: you can’t convince me that Gwaine didn’t at least once make out with one of the other knights on like, a drunken dare. Who? Probably an equally drunk Arthur, let’s be real.

Speaking of Arthur, you can bet he dedicated some kind of memorial site in Camelot to Lancelot, and he went to out flowers by it every single year.

And Arthur isn’t the only one, everyone who loved Lancelot does so, but they all work out their own time to visit their friend. They never run into each other, and that’s alright.

That was sad, let’s move on.

So Gwaine is pretty clever when he wants to be, right? And he’s got a good sense of humour too. So I can imagine him playing pranks on everyone. Even on Arthur, who inevitably thinks it’s Merlin. So whenever he shouts for Merlin, Merlin just looks at Gwaine, knowing exactly what the fuck he did bc Gwaine is already laughing, even though he knows Merlin is going to get back at him later.

Morgana had a bit of a crush on Gwen when they first met when she was like, fifteen or sixteen? One of those “oh god you’re so pretty that I kind of forgot how to function just now” things. She only admitted it years later, and they both laughed about it bc at this point neither of them could ever imagine being anything other than each other’s best friend.

And now that I’m talking about Gwen, she and Merlin make a point of meeting every week where they just bitch about the past week. She’s still one of his best friends and I always felt like that wasn’t really shown in the later seasons. Arthur pretends he doesn’t know about those meetings, but he always somehow knows exactly when to dismiss Merlin.

Actually, that’s a pretty good way of describing how Merlin and Arthur’s friendship works. They aren’t very vocal about appreciating each other (unless there’s some kind of life threatening situation at hand) but they show it quietly, preferring actions over words.

Like, if Arthur ever notices Merlin’s shirt is literally getting threadbare (I love Merlin but he sucks at looking out for himself, he literally wears the same two shirts the entire show lol), you can bet Merlin finds a brand new one in his chambers the following day, one of considerably better quality. And Arthur will never admit to being the one who got it for him. The most he’ll say is “nice shirt, glad to see you finally realised that having two different shirts isn’t practical”.

You wouldn’t know it from looking at her, but Gwen is every bit as capable with a sword as her brother, you can fight me on that. She’s definitely kicked Arthur’s ass and he just fell more in love with her as she held a blade to his neck from behind him. If she’d been able to see the lovesick look on his face, she would never had let him forget it.

That’s about all I can come up with right now, but I hope they managed to piece your heart back together a bit <3

[ravenadottir]

what do you think the characters would be doing after the show/how would they be using their platform? for example, i think lottie would be using hers to give people astrology readings and stuff and i think the season 3 mc would be sooo problematic online

ok but you know what? definitely! s3 mc would be causing the stir she wanted to in the villa and couldn't. i'm almost certain she would be raging and saying absurd things to get attention, something like gabby hana you know? BIG YIKES.

one thing is certain... all of them (purposely or not) would be making thirst traps... and definitely supporting masks and registering to vote. so that's a certainty for almost all of them.

lottie. witchtok constantly. not necessarily giving readings but she would be an apologist and majority on that tag. her instagram would be split into two accounts: one for her personal endeavours like thirst traps and *looks of the day*, and a second for her brand as a makeup artist/personal stylist. cause i think that would be so fucking cool! lottie knows how to perpetuate her personal brand and would use social media for that as well. here's some edits i did in the past to explain it better. i headcanon a collab with elisa for wigs that they would both wear on social media, so that's something i really like! plus, advocating for women's rights, especially when a male politician says something dumb, so you know, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

bobby. in the middle of the pandemic? can't help thinking he would be doing some humorous videos, but in my head they're not the funny type. just some cringey ones... don't get me wrong, but bobby is only funny when he's not trying to, and in social media he strikes me as the type that not only makes videos but also puts the towel over his head to play a girl, so that's probably the majority of his content. some food of course, and DEFINITELY some *cute* selfies that he knows it works as thirst traps. i think he talks about registering to vote and blm, but doesn't give his opinion on anything else, politics wise. here's bobby's feed for the rest.

gary. i'm not thrilled to inform that gary would be thirst trapping all the time. now that he's relatively famous there's no reason why not posting those pics and videos. between tik tok trends to show off his muscles, and instagram to... well, do that exact same thing, he might take some time to show nan and the soup kitchen, but overall... thirst traps. possibly being blunt about masks and registering but his content is very closed off. also, he will get a dog and encourage people to adopt. there's a lot of pranks on dicky and vice versa, so that's something i thought for his social media, just couldn't find a good faceclaim that has a variety of pics.

lucas. mostly bringing awareness about covid and the use of masks, probably pointing it out a couple of political disputes, and definitely advising people to be careful about their votes all around the world. i like to think he's a huge advocate for legalization of a certain practice that women have to beg to have (you know the one), and i think he knows exactly how to make a thirst trap without making one. stop asian hate and blm carrds present, and often giving his followers the incentive to donate. DEFINITELY 'look of the day' for at least the weekend, and lots and lots of landscape from the places he's been visiting or wishing to.

henrik. he's everywhere and he takes his phone to talk about it. no doubt henrik is having the time of his life by travelling alone, or with his wife, and doing lives at all times. i think you would see him doing lives in the middle of the night, or watching the sunset/sunrise with his followers, besides making his *questionable* forest foraging and recipes. survival videos? MOST LIKELY THAN YOU THINK. here's his social media, where i covered mostly of what his relationship would like on instagram. (heavily based off "beyond the hill").

carl. the amount of rpg on his stories? immaculate. chess? you bet! lots and lots of carl's launchings for his company, which does have a separate account but he can't quite separate himself from it and it shows on his feed. his relationship would be discreetly displayed with cryptic captions since he's not so sentimental. here's his feed with some personal things he would be encouraged to post and boost that confidence of his.

anon that asked for more hannah stuff, this is for you:

hannah. i have one for her because i do like her aesthetic. don't mind the faceclaim, it was the only one i could find in so many situations. horses, books, some *cute* selfies, travelling pics and more. on tiktok definitely booktok, no doubt about it. she might do a lot of the "telling the story of my book as a story time" trend to promote it and say "technically it's real life."

elisa. it's all about branding and she knows how to do it well! some influencers might not get political because of how they can be perceived but i think elisa doesn't give a flying fuck about that. she talks often about blm and vaccines on her stories. i get a jackie aina vibe from her when talking about brands that support/encourage dark skin models and influencers, so that's a plus. she will give shit to a makeup brand that doesn't care for shade range and won't hide her feelings about it. here's her usual feed, with looks and tours (that i'm certain she would do a lot). i also think she'll eventually cave and have a brand of wigs, clothes and makeup, AS SHE SHOULD.

hope. there's no question about her activism on social media and i like to imagine she would be speaking up against anti-vaxxers and racism, mostly. just like yewande, she would probably talk about every time she felt the show might've favoured people that don't look like her. we would be getting the hot tea on everything since she's so honest. there's also lots of looks and promoting her friends' products because she supports them so much. priya's clothing line, elisa x lottie collab, etc. here's the feed i made for her a while ago.

chelsea. she might not be that deep into politics but she'll talk about covid and how people should be more careful about it, "wearing all these cute masks my babes lozza made for us!". LOTS of *look of the day* and tours on the spaces she decorates, besides the behind the scenes of parties and weddings (of ex-islanders) that i know she would throw. her feed also includes her closet, supporting her friends' endeavours and promoting them, besides some random mug collection shots and FOR SURE a pug selfie with mc.

priya. there's not much to say except for the occasional thirst trap (with those amazing thigh, ffs she should), lots of vaccine warnings, definitely political anecdotes and her clothing brand. i love to think she would have an actual boutique once things get settled after covid, and she would use social media to promote every line. her feed consists mostly of her travelling, designs, supporting the girls and her photoshoots.

kassam. lots and lots of backstage photos and that *prickly* way of demanding people to use their brains and wear a mask, besides getting the vaccine. in studio or just before the stage, selfies with a clothing line with his logo and definitely pics with islanders he didn't get to meet but is now friends with. during covid he would be using his lives to play for his followers, like lots of dj's and musicians i've seen doing on reddit and tiktok, probably called "late night music" or something like that. encouraging followers to donate for causes as well.

noah. not so huge on social media, might be the most discrete of them all. there would be lots and lots of pictures of the mornings before he opens the library, because i sincerely think he would keep his job. not the most outspoken about certain matters but carrds like the blm's and 'stop asian hate''s are on all of his bio's. i do like to imagine him taking selfies with the boys from the show, like ibrahim. he would be so present in noah's feed it's not even funny. the casual "cute unintentional" thirst trap too. family photos from ages ago and lots of his siblings as well. he does love to write long captions for whenever he posts his girlfriend. one thing though, during the first few months on the outside, he wouldn't be so present, afraid of facing the bashing on him if he got with mc in the show. that could be a reason for him to stay away until people "forget" about it.

marisol. SO - MANY - SUITS - SELFIES it makes me cry happy tears. between advocating for women's rights in a more technical way, she would definitely be using her platform to also talk about lgbtq+, especially after the realization she had during her journey. lots and lots of activism about those things, and i think she would be doing a fine job. definitely promoting the girls' products/services and an occasional thirst trap with a braless suit look.

rocco. covidiot. (i just wanted to use this nickname one more time). he might get a hard time from followers and villa buddies because of his stance on vaccines. i just hope he reads some articles instead of sharing bibity-bobity-bullshit on facebook and instagram. there's lots of vaccine memes on his comment sections no matter what he posts though. it's gonna take a while for the public to move on.

[thehalfbloodedwitch]

🔮Ophiuchus- Send me this emoji and your most favorite thing to talk about, your pet peeves, a bit about you + a character from Hp and I will write a letter from them to you!! (If you want you can mention your name as well so I can use it in the letter!)

AHH SO EXCITED FOR THIS!!

Most fave thing: astronomy..(altho I love talking so i can rant about anything and everything)

Pet peeves: when someone tries to see what I'm doing on my phone and when someone eats messy(or when someone not washes their hands after eating coz im slightly ocd-)

a bit about me: love talking, loyal, anxious, I don't talk to many ppl(including my parents), can be very annoying when I want to :/

character: dwaco malfwoy

you already know my name<3

Here's your letter darling!

Wi darling,

How have you been my princess? I hope you are doing well. I had to go to Malfoy Manor as my parents had some work to do. But I decided to write you a letter because I wanted to check up on you.

To start off, I know you love talking about astronomy so much, and I just love listening to you talk, so I decided on buying you a brand new book on space, it contains everything about space, from the muggle and wizard point of view. And don't ask me the price, anything is worth it for you! Hopefully, I will give it to you once I return back to Hogwarts.

I had talked to mother about you, she was really pleased to hear about you and was begging me to let her meet you, after all, we are going to get married anyways after Hogwarts so why not meet my parents? That's only if you are comfortable as I know you don't like talking to many people. Whatever you say, darling!

And remember this other day, we were in some muggle restaurant called, umm... Mac Donalds I suppose, and someone was eating a burger like it was their last meal, and you just went to them and told them to eat properly, I mean what was the matter? He wasn't your brother or something was he? I was laughing so hard that day. I want to go to the muggle world with you again, not that I like it, but because anywhere I go with you is memorable.

Wi, you have changed my life in so many ways, even though I had to be friends with Potter and the Weasleys but, you have indeed changed my life for the better, it's just so much fun pulling pranks on friends and enjoying life to the fullest rather than being boring like I was. But I want to thank you for that, Thank you for bringing light to my dull and dark life.

So, hopefully, I will come back soon, and we can have all the fun we want! I really do miss you terribly. When I come back don't you dare leave me for even a second, you have to be with me every second of every minute. Bye!

P.s.- Why did this turn out to be like a love letter? Don't ask me, it's 3 in the morning and I hate being soft to you, but I will send you this letter because I love you.

Your amazing, handsome, talented boyfriend,

Draco Lucius Malfoy

Join the celebration!! 🥳

[beelzegrub]

Can i request the side characters as dads please

Oof I’m so sorry these took so long lmaoooo

The Side Characters as New Fathers

They/Them prounouns but mentions of pregnancy and birth

Diavolo

This man is basically a child himself are you kidding me he’s so excited. But...

Pregnancy wasn’t easy. Demon pregnancies tend to be tough on humans but Diavolo’s child 😬

Spends the pregnancy doting on MC 24/7 even though MC has begged him to stop

MC is so relieved to finally give birth and end this. Diavolo tried to coddle them and MC nearly snaps their hand

Baby comes into the world screaming and stays that way for the first month

Baby just has a lot of opinions okay

Milk is too cold. Milk is too hot. It’s too loud. It’s too quiet. Daddy holds me too tight. My uncles hold me strangely

Even though baby is a difficult child, Diavolo is in love

Always with baby. Hates it when Barbatos pulls him away for work.

“Lucifer would understand.... he’d let me stay with Baby a bit longer.”

No he wouldn’t

Would 100% bring baby if MC would let him.

Barbatos

Already feels like he’s parenting Diavolo so adjusting to an actual baby isn’t hard tbh

Was pretty chill through the pregnancy. Knows he can take care of MC if they wish but also gives them space

Let’s MC scream and yell and squeeze his hand during birth no problem

Once Baby is born he insists on taking care of them and letting MC rest

Likes to be the one to get up in the night when Baby cries

On top of his full time job being Diavolo’s babysitter

MC gets frustrated and takes Baby over to the house of lamentation when she feels Barbatos is pushing himself

Barbatos knows. He lets them.

“As long as they are happy, a break isn’t so bad once and awhile.”

Simeon

Is surprised to find out MC is pregnant but excited nonetheless

Has a lot of experience in childcare isn’t too worried about the parenting part

But the pregnancy...

He knows humans are fragile. What could a half angel half human pregnancy do to his dear MC?

It makes MC a monster.

Are we sure this isn’t a demon baby? MC isn’t secretly a demon right? Simeon knows he certainly isn’t one so how did this happen?

MC becomes super demanding and snippy. Noticed it happening but can’t stop it. Hates it

Simeon is great and kind and patient and that makes MC feel worse

Baby finally arrives and both parents are nervous. This child might just be the antichrist....

Nope. Baby is, literally and figuratively, an angel. Doesn’t cry much, more of a whiner. Doesn’t mind being put down. Not a fussy eater. Likes strangers.

Hm.

What the hell happened

Simeon would have loved the baby even if they were evil tho

This man is such a good father.

Likes to play tricks too though he can’t wait until baby is old enough to get pranked

Solomon

😬

Okay listen

This man has the emotional maturity of a 14 year old

Thinks MC is Pranking him when they announce the pregnancy

“Oh, this is like that thing on tv right? Haha! Punked me!”

How are you both 14 and 50

Eventually comes to terms with the fact MC is going to have his baby.

Actually, babies

Surprise! It’s twins

Absolutely memes the shit out of it

Loves posting selfies of MC hunched over the toilet with him just smiling and giving a thumbs up

“Might be old but it still works!”

When the babies arrive, he’s not interested in the taking care of them part. Likes holding and playing with them but also finds them boring lmao

MC doesn’t let him get away with it though don’t worry

Babies are very much attached to their goofy father

Bonus! Platonic Luke!!!

MC tells Luke she’s pregnant and this child starts bawling on the spot

“A brand new life growing inside of you! I’m so happy for you!”

Bosses around the father during MC’s pregnancy. His fear of demons disappears when he’s protecting MC

If Simeon is the father he immediately starts referring to himself as uncle Luke

Waits in the waiting room during the birth

Dresses up because first impressions matter

Holds Baby/Babies for the first time and again just straight up bawling

Always offers to Help MC

Threatens the father if they’re not treating MC right

Thanks for reading!!! I hope this wasn’t too terrible out of character 😂

[sideblogformindtrash]

CW: Dehumanization; Crushing bones; mention of past amputation; It as pronoun; slave/past whump; ableism; really low self esteem; Nudity; Scars; Sensory Deprivation; unreliable narrator; emotional abuse; no-con touching (non-sexual this time);  

Master wasn’t happy to see Blue. But Blue was happy to see Master. Blue was very happy as it kneeled on the carpet on Master’s living room, waiting while they talked with the man who had took them for the past few days.

That carpet under its knees felt familiar, and it was so so glad to be back home. It knew it was in a huge trouble, that Master would be very angry… But still, it was Blue’s Master! The only one Blue wanted to be with. It had a new chance to show Master that it could still be good, that it still wanted to serve Master with all it could…

Blue hugged Bonnie, nervously caressing her soft fur, thinking of all the punishments it could get. Had this… Had this been bad enough that it would lose another finger? It had very few left… It had been one of the reasons why the man got angry at it so fast, Blue couldn’t do the chores as fast as the man wanted it to.

It bit the inside of its cheeks, scratching Bonnie’s ears. She loved those scratches, Blue liked  them too! She also liked nuzzling, so Blue pulled her closer, suddenly realizing it had wet her soft fur with its tears.

Its train of thought was stopped by the door slamming. It straightened itself on the carpet, bracing itself for Master’s wrath.

…Master had a severe look. Master was disgusted, and it felt ashamed. But still… It wanted to be good for Master. It was happy to be back.

“…This is the first time one of my pets gets returned. Of course it had to be you, Blue”

It lifted its head a little bit, feeling a shiver through its spine. Master’s voice sounded so cold. Where were the soft words that came with punishments? Had it really made such a bad mistake?

It breathed in deeply.

“S-s-s-sorry M-master I-it d-doesn’t w-w-ant to leave-“

Master kicked it. It fell to the side, curling up around Bonnie, tears starting to form.

“I don’t give a fuck about what you want Blue.”

It blinked away the tears. Needed to be good and beg. Master was kind and fair. Master wouldn’t punish them if it wasn’t fair. They had really made something terrible.

“P-p-please… It can be better. It can learn and be good for M-Master- It is-“

…When Master laughed it cut deeper than any knife ever had. It was common for Master to laugh at how pathetic it was, or to how easily it fell for the pranks in his videos… But Master never laughed at his apologies. Not when it truly needed to apologize.

“Blue your idiot, there is nothing you can do for me that anyone wouldn’t do ten times better. Now that my audience is tired of you, you are worthless” Master kicked at it again “…Put your hand out for me. The buyer said you were too slow to even do chores properly”

…It was shaking a lot but it reached a hand, keeping the other one wrapped around Bonnie. It could take the punishment good if the bunny was there with it. It could!

Still it whined when Master stomped on the pair of fingers, tears falling from the corner of its eyes. It was bad and worthless and deserved this. Punishment would make it better for Master.

“s-s-sorry –M-master…” it gasped, as Master slid the foot on its heels, crushing its hand further “B-b-blue l-loves Master”

Master let its hand go, so it pulled it closer, trying to hold the sobs. It didn’t look at it. It would be even more mangled than it already was…

“What did you just say, pet?”

“i-ii-it” it swallowed, closing its eyes and taking a deep breath“It loves you. Master, it loves you. It wants to serve you. Please”

…The laughter… hurt. Master walked to his bedroom. Blue thought he was going to get a whip or something, but he just… Called for someone.

…Blue’s eyes widened as a person… no, a pet, came out of Master’s bedroom. A very pretty, brand new pet, that had nice clothes and beautiful hair, dyed on a soft degrade of three different colors. The new pet was wearing Blue’s collar! It had a new identification plate, but it was its collar!

“Blue, meet Pastel. Your replacement”

…Its jaw dropped, arms trembling around Bonnie. Its… replacement? Oh. No. Nononononononono. Pastel was healthy, and fast and fit, and so pretty… There was no world on which Blue could compete with this! No way in hell. Blue could tell, even the audience would love Pastel.

And the way the other pet looked at Blue… Absolutely terrified, legs trembling like they would fail at any second. Pastel glanced to Master, desperate eyes meeting Master’s cold smile.

Master pet Pastel’s head and scratched  behind their ear, just the way they knew Blue loved.

“…This is a lesson for you too darling pet” Master said, while soothing the newer pet “…You don’t have to end up like him. But you will, if you don’t behave”

Master gently tapped the new pet’s face then walked back to his pathetic Blue, who was now sobbing on the floor. Replaced. Useless. Worthless.

Master grabbed it by the jaw and yanked it until it was by the feet of the new pet.

“See these pretty scars, dear little Paste? I never let any of my other pets get injured like this before. Because none of them were misbehaved little bitches like Blue here” Master kicked Blue, making it gasp, barely breathing through its sobs.

Pastel stepped back, pressing their back against the wall. Master smiled at this, and walked behind blue. Master yanked their shirt off, leaving it naked. It tried to cover itself, but Master held its wrists, pulling their hands up. Pastel covered their mouth, eyes full of tears running through Blue’s body.

“See? This was all because the little bitch tried to run away from me” Master stared directly at the new pet “…But you would never do something silly like that, would you, Pastel?”

“N-n-no m-master” the pet’s voice was just a squeak.

“B-b-b-b-onnie” Blue said, seeing her tumbling on the floor. It weakly tried to pull against Master. It knew this was such a terrible offense but – but it couldn’t leave Bonnie. Blue’s Bonnie!

Master saw what it was trying to do and kicked her away. Blue’s voice went from a scream to a squeak to a whimper, as it desperately tried to reach for the plush, unable to get free from the vicious grip.

“Pastel, dear. Be a good pet and take Bonnie to my office, will you?” Master smiled viciously. Pastel saw this as an opportunity to escape and quickly moved, getting the plush by its ears. Blue wanted to protest! No, that was its Bonnie! And she couldn’t be taken like that, she needed to be carried nicely!

Once they were gone – to replace it on Blue’s cage, on Blue’s corner of the room, with Blue’s Master…- its arms were released. It darted forward, but Master blocked its path… So it fell to its knees.

‘P-p-please” it begged, from the bottom of its heart “Please don’t… please… B-b-boniie….”

Master chuckled, watching its distress. Master grabbed Blue by its collar and pulled it down stairs into the basement for the punishment it deserved. How bad had it been to be replaced? It wanted its Bonnie back.

“Master…” it cried “Pp-p-p-please… It-it w-w-i-ill take any punishment p-p-please…”

“Of course you will Blue” Master shrugged, throwing it in the center of the room.

“P-p-please...c-c-c-an B-b-blue g-g-get B-b-bonnie back? P—pplease?  After p-punishm-ment?” Blue begged, wide eyed, as Master got the shackles around its wrists and lifted it to the air “P-p-please.”

Master grabbed its jaw, pushing the ball gag into its mouth. It kept trying to beg, making drool run from under it.

Master put the blindfolds and went to get the headphones.

“…Bonnie will be well cared for, don’t worry Blue. But I never said this punishment would even have an ‘after’” with that, Master slid the Headphones in place, leaving Blue sobbing, thrashing against its chains, absolutely panicked with the notion that this time, Master would never let it out again.

tag: @whumpzone @whumpropaganda @freefallingup13 @lave-whump

[lunarliza]

JJ Maybank Must Die | Chapter 5: Hair Dyes

fuckboy!JJ x Reader

series masterlist | prev. chapter | chapter one

JJ Maybank is the island’s most infamous fuckboy- not that you ever cared. But when a group of tourist girls come to your surf shop crying to you about him, you agree to help them plot revenge. Sabotage is all fun and games, until you find that the playboy you were sworn to ruin happens to be falling head over heels for you.

Yes, this is based on John Tucker Must Die lol

note: sexual-like content ahead. also pls keep in mind that this is just a playful haha funny story, this stuff isn’t meant to be taken seriously at all 

“So are you a virgin?” 

You scowled at the phone perched on your nightstand. 

“No,” you lied, continuing to paint your big toe. 

Oddly enough, after the whole nature-calling theatre debacle, JJ not only apologized profusely when the movie ended, but he actually pursued you even harder the week following. The universe really did work in mysterious ways.

He quadruple texted you during the day, sent you funny pictures of him lallygagging around the town with The Pogues, and called you every night until you both fell asleep. 

At first you found it clingy as hell, but seeing JJ in the girl-filter or watching videos of him pranking John B sleeping had you entertained enough to actually respond. 

Tonight’s phone topic was 21 Questions, and like the fuck boy he was, ‘what’s your favorite color’ turned dirty in a matter of minutes. 

“What’s your body count?” you asked, actually curious about what that figure might be. 

“Hm,” you could hear him smacking his lips, “To be honest, I don’t really know.”  

“Are you serious?” 

“Well,” he spluttered through the line, “I stopped keeping count after like 30. If I had to give a range it’d probably be from 50 to 70.” 

Your nose crinkled. “Charming.” 

Just then, you heard your mom’s voice echo from the front door, “Y/n! Package came in for you!” 

“One sec,” you told the blondie on the phone and waddled down the hall on your heels, careful of your wet toes. 

Ripping open the box, you gasped at the rows of assorted lacy thongs Annalise ordered yesterday to be sent to your house. You forgot rich people could afford express shipping. 

“Everything good?” JJ questioned through the line. 

“Yeah, uh, just a little shocked at how big the, uh, water bottle I ordered is.”

Your hand clawed through the stash, feeling how nice the silk and lace felt. No surprise, it was also a very expensive brand. You considered keeping a few for yourself. 

“Hm, interesting,” JJ responded, “Anyways, continuing our game, do you have any kinks, like in bed?” 

You held up a red g-string, inspecting the tiny bows lining the crotch area. “Yeah, I have a few.” 

------------------------------- On your next day off, JJ invited you to go fishing with him and his friends. He picked you up early to grab some equipment from the store. Afterwards, you both sprawled on his bed, waiting for the others to arrive. 

“Hey JJ?” you asked, hand tangled in his gold locks while he played some game on his phone. 

“Hm?” 

“So do you remember the other night when we talked about our kinks?” you asked as seductively as your inexperienced self could. 

He immediately halted his game, a sly smirk danced its way across his lips. “Yeah...” 

“Well,” you bit your lip, “I do have this one that just really turns me on.” 

“I’m listening,” he piped, running a hand up and down your thigh. 

You put on your best amateur sex-minx face, blinking up at him. “It’s a little weird though.” 

He shifted positions so he laid between your thighs, kissing up your exposed stomach from your crop-top. “I don’t care. If it gets you wet baby, I’m all for it.” 

“Okay then... I actually have a present for you.” 

Sliding out from under him, you scrambled through your bag and pulled out the red g-string. JJ whistled from his bed in response, leaning back on his arms at the edge.

“That’s sexy as fuck,” he dragged you closer by the back of your thighs, “Try it on for me real quick, before the rest of the Pogues get here.” 

“Oh no no no,” you hung the underwear out to him, “It’s for you.” 

JJ’s mouth went agape, his eyes nearly exploding. “What the fuck y/n?! Are you kidding me?” 

You pouted and sulked away with a huff. “I knew it! I knew you’d make fun of me! I thought I could trust you JJ!” You covered your face and wailed like a child who couldn’t get her way. If this wasn’t your Oscar-winning moment you didn’t know what was. 

“Hey, hey, hey, wait,” JJ cooed, stroking his hand up your shoulders behind you. “I didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t making fun of you, I was just a little shocked that’s all.” 

“But you think it’s weird!” you cried out, refusing to meet his eyes. 

“Well,” he scratched the back of his head, “I mean... you really want me to wear it?” 

You sniffled and nodded. 

“And this turns you on?” 

You nodded again, facing him. “I just, I think it’s so sexy when a man can embrace his sexuality like this you know?” 

“I guess... do you just want me to try it on?” 

“That’d be nice,” you rubbed the side of your arm, “Maybe you could even wear it today when we go out? It’ll be under your shorts so no one will see.” 

“Are you kidding me? N-” 

Your puppy-dog eyes stopped him dead in his tracks, threatening to burst into tears again. Boy, was this guy putty in your hands. 

He sighed, swiping the underwear from your hand. “Fine, but we do not mention this to any of my friends, got it?” 

You quickly shook your head with an excited smile, knowing damn well the thong was high-cut.

Minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom, giving you a little show of his new undergarments. You had to admit, under all those baggy shorts laid a nice pair of perky buns. The sight of him trying to body roll on the floor made you fall back cackling at his Magic Mike attempts. 

Annalise definitely should’ve ordered a size up because his rising bulge was stretching out the lace that was clinging on for dear life. You had to shield your beet-red face. 

The ring of the doorbell sent JJ scurrying to find his pants while you walked to the front to answer it. In came his friends- John B, Kiara, and Pope- who you greeted just as the blonde sauntered out of his room as if nothing was fishy was going on. 

“So, who’s ready to hit the water?” John B asked as the guys gathered up the fishing equipment. 

You followed the herd out to the docks where the famous HMS Pogue sat. JJ walked a little ahead of you and Kiara, casually picking at the wedgie through his shorts. Kiara scrunched her nose in disgust while you snorted and had to bite your lip from bursting out laughing.

Riding along the marsh, you chatted with Kiara on the back deck while the boys casted the net at the front. She raved all about the new tarot deck she bought and even practiced some palm readings on you. You didn’t know her very well, seeing as she attended the Kook school, but you were glad she was easy to get along with. 

“So what’s the deal with you and JJ?” she asked out of nowhere. From the corner of your eye, you could see Pope do a discreet double-take at her question.

“Um, I’m not really sure,” you answered, “We’re just hanging out, I guess.” 

“Well, you’re the first girl he’s ever brought to hang out with us,” she revealed, “Or even really hung out with in general, for that matter.” 

A sharp gasp from the boys snapped you both out of your conversation. There, at the tip of the boat, was JJ bending over the net with the prominent lacy bows of his g-string exhibited for the world to see. 

John B and Pope doubled over cackling like a pack of hyenas. “JJ what the actual fuck!” 

The blonde whipped upright instantly once he caught on, hand flying to cover his backside. His entire face went the brightest shade of red. “Shut the fuck up! Or I’ll kill you both!” 

Pope fell to the wooden floor of the deck, trying to regain his breath from the laughter as John B doubled over on top of him. 

“Stop it you guys!” Kiara scolded at the boys who were practically in tears. She had to hold back a few giggles herself. “If JJ wants to wear that then let him! I think it’s,” she accidentally snorted, “I think it’s cool!” 

JJ fastened his shorts and began play-fighting the hyenas. Meanwhile you filled your girls chat in on the hilarious scene, trying to muffle your own snickering. 

-----------------------------

“You want to be a what when you grow up?” 

“A hairstylist,” you repeated through the phone. You hoped the pitch change in your voice wasn’t too much to give yourself away. Nevermind the fact that you knew nothing about hair as yours was always wet from surfing. 

“Uh okay,” JJ responded, “That was kinda unexpected but you do you I guess.”  

You slouched on the old-fashioned armchair in Annalise’s condo while your friends gathered around to listen in on yours and JJ’s call. A fit of snickers and shushes flew through the room as they tried to suppress their noise. 

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to practice on people for a while now. I need to have experience to get into this beauty school I’ve been looking at,” you went on, “Do you think I could try something on you tomorrow?” 

You heard him scratch through the line. “Uh, why me? You don’t have any other friends that you could do it on?” 

“Because JJ! You’re like the only blonde I know. And I really want to perfect my bleaching skills. C’mon please! It’ll only be like a shade lighter. You’ll hardly even notice,” you promised in your well-rehearsed begging voice. 

“I’m not sure about this one, Y/n. It seems a little risky. Pope and John B are still ragging me for the underwear.” 

“Hmph,” you took the phone and held it closer to you, “Come onnnn JJ! I swear it’ll be fine. Please just do me this teensy little thing. I might even return the favor.” Your voice sang at the last bit.

He hiked in a long breath. “F-Fine. Just promise me it won’t be noticeable!” 

“Promise!” you cheered as the quad around you erupted in their silent happy dances. “Okay I’m going to go now, see you tomorrow before Sarah’s birthday Loverboy!” You sent him air kisses through the phone and hung up. 

“Men are so easy!” Sophia drawled, taking a huge bite of her ice cream pint. 

“You’re getting so good at this y/n!” Arabella pretend to wipe away tears, “I’m such a proud mama!” 

Maia whisked into her room and popped out seconds later, handing you a bottle of squeeze hair dye. “Here it is. Use it wisely young grasshopper.” 

------------------------------

You showed up to JJ’s house the next day. Thankfully, his dad was out a work so you had the entire house to yourself. Lord knows you needed it with the mild trauma you were about to put this boy through. 

You had JJ sit in the bathroom, away from the mirror with his head leaned back and eyes closed. Clumsily, you applied the dye like the Youtube video you watched the night before. Needless to say, you were getting it everywhere- on your clothes, JJ’s clothes, the counters. 

It was a disaster. But you played it cool, reminding JJ to keep his eyes shut or the dye will burn them. After wrapping his head in foil sheets and waiting 20 minutes, you bent him over the shower and washed everything out. 

Drying his still covered hair in the towel, you yanked it off him as he turned to the mirror and let out a deafening, ear-splitting shriek. 

“WHAT THE FUCK! OH MY GOD!” 

JJ looked like he was about to cry, horror-stricken, at his bright new bubblegum pink hair. 

“What the fuck is this?! What am I going to do?!” he paced back and forth in the clustered bathroom, “Sarah’s surprise party is tonight! John B’s gonna kill me if I don’t go! People can’t see me like this!” 

You bit your finger, glancing off to the side. “It was a mistake! I’m so sorry! It was supposed to be ash blonde but I might’ve gotten strawberry blonde instead.” 

JJ grabbed your shoulders, desperation drowning his eyes. “You have to fix this right now y/n! We have to be at the beach in an hour!” 

“You can’t bleach it again right now,” you protested, “You’ll fry your hair and then it’ll look like a bird’s nest!” 

“Then what are we going to do?! I can’t go outside like this!” 

---------------------------------

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” 

Throwing your head back, you finished the remains of the beer and tossed the cup into a nearby bin. The small crowd yelped as you threw your hands up. 

JJ crept up behind you and lifted you in the air, spinning you around. “Fuck yeah y/n!” 

You patted on the backwards cap on his head and he let you back down, pecking your cheek. 

Minutes before you guys arrived, he was able to rummage through is drawers for a hat big enough to stuff his Strawberry Shortcake hair into. Some specks still peeked out underneath, but, in the dark, you couldn’t really tell the island’s golden boy was now a pink poodle. 

The birthday girl, Sarah Cameron, skipped over to the group around you and thanked everyone for coming. She had her fingers linked with her new boo and party organizer, John B, as she hugged all her friends. 

You met her briefly after the big ‘surprise’ chant when she first arrived. When she referred to you as ‘JJ’s girl’ in front of everyone, you blushed and ignored her comment even though her and basically all the girls there were wondering the same thing. 

If only they knew. 

In your peripheral, you spotted your sabotage squad casually stroll into the beach and blend in with the pack of dancing kids. It was time to initiate Plan D. 

As the party progressed, you clung onto JJ side due to the fact that you hardly knew anyone there. You sat in his lap during a few drinking games and he even held you up while you did a keg stand. 

You were both dancing tipsy for a bit near the bonfire. His hands roamed your body while you pressed your ass to his crotch. You giggled when he bent over and kissed up your neck. 

“It’s getting kind of crowded now,” you mentioned at the growing swarm of people. Word probably got out about the party which definitely drew the hordes of tourists that were arriving by the dozen. JJ hummed against your skin. 

“We could get out of here for a bit,” you suggested, “Maybe go for a little dip in the water?” 

You felt his ears perk. He eyed you questioningly while you sauntered away from him and the throng of people, motioning for him to follow.

And he did. Just like a lost puppy. 

Both of you moved to a secluded section of the beach. The waves were calmer, and the music from the party muffled against the sound of the water crashing. 

“What is your cute little ass up to now,” JJ teased as you peeled off your top to set on a rock, revealing a sexy push-up black bikini. Again, one of Maia’s. 

“Come on! Let’s swim for a bit,” you coaxed, slipping out of your shorts. He grinned when you backed towards the water.

Here goes nothing. 

Sultrily, you undid the back string of your bathing suit and flung it onto the sand. JJ’s lips parted slightly. You swore his spirit left his body for a moment. 

You bit your lip. Still locking eye contact, you discarded your bottoms next. 

Twirling your nude body around, ass in full view, you cocked your head back at the awestruck teenage boy. “What? Cat’s got your tongue? Are you gonna come in or just stand there?” 

You’d never seen anyone undress at the speed JJ did, sans hat and everything. “Oh my God!” you squealed at the sight of him stepping out of the pink thong you gave him, “I can’t believe you wear those still!” 

He darted towards you and the ocean, the smile on his face stretched all the way to his sculpted cheek bones. “Hey, you like them and they make my ass look good. It’s a win-win for everyone!”

You also couldn’t help but notice his, uh, junk that was swinging while he ran with you. One peep at it and everything clicked in your head as to why women were obsessed with him. It was a very pleasing sight. 

Knees deep in the water, his hands drew up your sides. He ogled at your bare body, radiated by nothing but the moon, and you shifted a bit to make sure his back was fully facing the shore. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he rasped, resting his hands just atop the swell of your butt. “Fuck,” he purred, “C’mere.” 

Bending down, he crashed his lips onto yours, stroking up and down your backside. With one eye open, you peeked towards the rocks where two dark shadows hunched over and scurried away swiftly. 

Turning your attention back to the kiss, you briskly pulled away and splashed him before he could react. 

“Oh you wanna play huh?” he taunted and lunged at you while you playfully shrieked. 

You giggled as he picked you up, hand under your neck and knees, spinning you around a few times before dropping you at a slightly deeper end. You floated back up and splashed at him again with all your might. 

JJ swam towards you and wrapped your legs around his waist under the water, only your heads above the water at this point. “You’re so fun,” he gushed, kissing you again, a little more forcefully this time. 

You two stayed that way for a bit until you heard the kids from the party faintly singing ‘Happy Birthday’. 

“Fuck!” you shouted before scrambling out the water with JJ on your trail. You were able to pick up your bikini from the sand and pull it on. But once you got back to the rock, the only thing left was a single pink thong. 

“Where the fuck did our clothes go?!” JJ hollered, outraged. 

“Oh my God!” you joined, “Maybe some raccoons took them!” 

Not even bothering with your preposterous presumption, he held his hands up to his head in stress. “What the fuck am I gonna do? I have to go back through the party to even get to the car! And I have fucking pink hair!” 

“Uhh, maybe you could swim through the water past them? I could meet you on the other side with a towel.” 

“Okay okay! Just hurry!” he urged, hurrying back into the water in just the skimpy underwear. 

You jogged back to the party that died down by quite a bit. Only close friends remained. 

“Where’s JJ?” Pope asked as you surveyed the area, “He missed the whole cake. We were looking for a lighter for ages.” 

You merely shrugged. “Not sure, maybe he left for a bit?” 

Pope glanced around, confused until a voice- Sophia’s voice- shrieked from the sides. “Oh my gosh is that JJ?!”

A few gasps emitted from the crowd as Arabella and Annalise shone their flashlights at the bubblegum head perched on top of the water. 

“JJ what the fuck are you doing?!” John B yelled, “And why the fuck is your hair pink?!”

JJ looked as if he’d seen a ghost. He laughed sheepishly, “Yeah about that I-” 

Before he could finish, the tide pulled out to reveal the fuchsia g-string on his hips. John B face palmed himself and shielded Sarah’s eyes from the indecent scene. 

The party exploded in laughter, Pope and Kiara fell to their knees on the sand, joining the mass.

Middle fingers in the air, JJ dashed through the roaring flock and to the car. “Fuck you all! But happy birthday Sarah!” 

---------------------------------

note: hehehehhe. okay i had fun writing dis. pls msg me to be tagged!! 

chapter six

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[wallwriterstuff]

My Evil Twin ||Alec vs Jane||

Warnings: mentions of abuse, torture and trauma. 

A request for @ferb13​   “Can I request you a headcanon about the things that make Alec more evil than Jane?” 

You absolutely can because I love this idea!! Also, please keep an eye out for an updated Upcoming Fic List tomorrow. I have two more requests I admittedly forgot about I’d like to get out now uni is done for the semester. 

I firmly believe the trauma they faced caused both twins to turn out to be incredibly sadistic and ruthless vampires, but there is definitely a case to be made that Alec is the more dangerous of the twins.

·         Alec is not quick to anger, therefore his revenge is not as instant as his sister’s. Displease Alec and you will be left wondering when exactly he will strike back – or if he even plans to – and he will let you stew in your own anxiety for the fun of it. Why torture you if your already torturing yourself?

 ·         Whereas Jane’s anger is explosive, Alec’s simmers. He has the capacity therefore to really think about just how much you’re annoying him and respond in kind. His revenge is never as swift as the agony of Jane’s gift, he will draw it out. For every second you have made him suffer he will return the favour

 ·         His gift is incredibly potent, he can strip a person’s senses and numb them, but do you think that hasn’t come with any sort of consequence for him? The truth is he simply can’t feel emotion sometimes. It takes strong emotion to really entice him to open up and feel anything, such as finding his mate for instance, but most of the time he is just…numb, and it makes him incredibly difficult to read. As such, it’s easy to find yourself trying to please him or accidentally annoying him, but you’ll never know until he reacts – which he rarely ever does. Though he doesn’t always mean to, it can often seem like he’s stringing people along because of this, but he has been known to deliberately use people’s struggles to read him to his advantage

 ·         Both twins are sadistic but in different ways. While Jane thrives off of the pain of others, Alec feeds off of their fear. He strips the senses, but they are still very much conscious. Alec enjoys their terror as their minds turn against them, imagining horrific scenarios occurring to their physical bodies while they cannot see, feel or hear their attackers coming. In this sense, he is far more sadistic than Jane, as his version of torture leaves longer lasting scars that he has absolutely no remorse about inflicting on anyone who crosses his path

 ·         Alec and Jane were raised in this life by Aro in two very different ways. Jane has, quite frankly, been groomed by Aro and is therefore much more eager to please and maintain her position as the favourite. Alec is not. Oh for sure he is loyal to Aro and will remain so out of sheer gratitude that he was saved by him, but he is very self-assured in a way Jane is not, knowing his offensive capability will either A) keep him in favour with the Masters or B) ensure he has a way out when the Masters stop giving him the opportunity to exercise that power                + Since he has no need to play the favourite, Alec will happily act his physical age and play pranks on the secretaries. He is the main reason they go through so many of them, and his pranks are by no means childish. He is a sadist remember. Physical injuries are part and parcel of otherwise highly psychologically traumatic pranks very similar to the ones he had to endure as a child. Poor Gianna never quite got rid of the scars on her knuckles after he locked her in a room full of tarantula’s – he spent four hours listening to her beg to be released while pounding on the door

 ·         In many ways Alec is seen as the calmer and more rational twin, subduing his sister when she gets violent. Some might even go so far as to say he saved them from Jane’s wrath. They are wrong. Alec is saving you from nothing, because he is extremely protective of Jane and if you anger her, you anger him. You are simply opening yourself up to his specific brand of psychological torture, and believe me when I tell you he is ten times more ruthless when it comes to defending his sister, to the point he will gladly kill for her, even if it goes against orders

 ·         Since it takes so much to get him riled up, it takes a lot more to calm him down. Alec is far more dangerous than Jane in this regard. He is very reluctant to stop using his gift once he starts, the feeling he gets watching people suffer the effects is akin to a high or an adrenaline rush maybe. He pushes his luck a lot when Aro orders him to stop whereas his sister will stop immediately. Ultimately, not even the Masters can stop him if Alec decides to make you suffer

 ·         He wears socks when relaxing in bed, enough said

 ·         Whereas Jane is cruel for a purpose (usually Aro’s), Alec is sometimes cruel just because he’s bored. Has a trial bored him? Felix suddenly can’t see. A long day of guard duty in the throne room? The secretary is distracted packing up to go home for the night, the perfect target. Alec can and will use his gift purely for entertainment purposes for the thrill he gets watching others suffer

 ·         Alec didn’t want to rely solely on his gift after a brush with a newborn once. Felix and Demetri taught him to fight at his request, but it was Caius who taught him to torture others. If Alec is a sadist then Caius taught him everything he knows, and its him that will accompany the blonde Master to the dungeon when he needs to blow off some steam on the prisoners they keep below. He doesn’t ask nor care about the crimes they committed, but when his dark side itches to be free there’s nothing better to him than slowly cracking off a finger or two. Not even Jane knows about this side of him

 ·         Ultimately, Alec is a lethal weapon in the form of a child and the way he enjoys his gift and uses it so indiscriminately shows it. He is far more evil than Jane for the sheer enjoyment he gets from torturing others in a far more traumatic way than his sister can and unlike her, he is far more difficult to reign in

[ac3id]

moonstruck

pairings: yandere!toga x gender neutral!reader

summary: random letters from a secret admirer start appearing in your mailbox. oh, what could happen?

warnings:characters in story are 18+, slight knife play, toga being high-key psycho, slight language, fingering, panty stuffing, porn with a plot lmao

word count:2.2k

masterlist

The way both of you had met was rather unconventional. It all started when letters, more specifically, love letters started appearing in your mailbox. It was strange. In this day and age, nobody sent each other letters, there were several more efficient ways to communicate. 

At first, you thought it was a prank pulled by your friends to tease you. The contents of the letter were too bizarre for someone in their right mind to write. It might have even been cute if it weren't for the looming dread of the person wanting to cut you up and carve their name into your body.

You seriously thought it was a joke. 

So, you ignored the letters. The writer always asked you to place your response in the mailbox since they would check it but you never did. Eventually, the letters from the stranger piled up. You thought about reporting it to the police but as boredom hit you, you decided that you'd reply to these bizarre letters. 

The person had asked you many questions and talked a little bit about themselves claiming they had run away from their family. They said they were the same age as you- you obviously, did not believe them. 

When you started replying to the letters, albeit half-jokingly since at the back of your mind you still thought it was one of your friends pulling a prank on you but the person took your answers seriously. 

The questions slowly started getting more personal.

'𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘹 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘯?♥’

'𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘴?♥♥'

 One day they proposed the two of you meet. You were against it at first. You ignored their letters after that, even thought about getting the police involved but after a new letter revealed that they knew about your family's whereabouts and wouldn't think twice before hurting them. You didn't have much of a choice. 

Out of all the things you expected this person to be- you definitely, did not expect a young girl your age staring back at you. You were surprised. She was dressed in a school uniform but looked a little too old to still be in school. She had blonde hair which was made into space buns and rested on top of her head. She had bangs that covered her forehead and golden eyes almost matching her hair. A sweet smile played at her lips.

She introduced herself as Toga Himiko and as time went by, you both grew closer. Toga was a sweet girl, you felt comfortable around her, you shared your secrets, and your goals. She quickly became one of your best friends but it wasn’t the same in her case.

She loved you so much. She couldn’t believe she had finally you-- you were finally in her grasp but she’d notice how you didn’t think about her the same way. You’d not take her feelings seriously, often manipulating her to think she was joking. Toga felt hurt. She loved you so much. Why were you being so mean to her? She quickly decided she’d take things into her own hands. She had to make you realize that no one else was good enough for you.

After a few months, Toga proposed that you two move in together. She said she really needed a roommate and that it would also be very convenient for you so, you agreed. By the next week, you both started living together and the red flags started to appear. 

Toga would disappear for long periods of time and you hear nothing from her. She’d tell you it was because of her job- she worked in some company which did odd jobs that no one else wanted to too. Find a lost cat, find a missing person- somewhat of a private detective. Nothing which should worry you. But when Toga returned she was always badly injured and that worried you. There was something she was hiding from you. You decided to investigate it.

It was another one of those days when Toga disappeared without telling you a single word. 

But what you didn’t know was that she had caught on to you and she was waiting for you to slip up so she could finally show you who you belonged to. 

Barging into her room while she was supposed to be away, It was like you were begging her to take you. Her eyes glinting dangerously—and she pulled the corner of her lip between her teeth with a smirk. A horrible realization hits you. You grunt in pain as she runs towards you, tackling you to the ground and straddling you, fixing her warm gaze on your widened eyes. You were so close, she could hear your sharp intakes and shallow breaths.

“Toga, you're crushing me." You whined as she ran her fingers through your hair and caressing the side of your face.

"You look soo pretty like this sweetumms~" Toga admired, letting her hands roam all over your trembling body. Her fingertips tracing down from your shoulders to your chest, thumbs teasing your clothed nipples on their way. You whimpered pathetically, clenching and releasing your fists beside your head. a soft moan escapes her lips as you buck you hips-accidentally grinding yourself to her in an attempt to pry her off of you,

Her eyes rolling back as she pressed harder, grinding against your hips. Nuzzling her face in your neck and licking it 

your body jolted as you screamed hopefully loud enough for someone to hear.

You drag your nails against her face and she hisses at the sensation, letting her thumb brush down your lip to your chin, catching it between her fingers to hold you in place.Toga's lips widened into a grin as she watched your gaze trail down to the weapon in her hands.

"You want me to fucking kill your friends?"she taunts, she forces her mouth on yours and feels a jolt of fire course through her. The taste of your mouth was sweeter than what she imagined, she kissed you with hunger and passion, you bit down on her bottom lip as you felt something cold and sharp glide down  your chest and then down your stomach. The cold steel raking over your clothed chest as you whimpered into the kiss.

Rubbing her thighs together, she chuckled. "It’s brand new, I bought it especially for you," she twirled the weapon in front of you, the metal shone brightly in the low lighting of her room, testing the sharpness of the blade by cutting the neckline of your shirt, the tip of the blade trailing over your skin but not enough for it to hurt you. It went through the fabric with ease, tearing your clothes till it was open all the way. You lay vulnerable underneath her, upper half naked, and exposed.

"I want the world to know that you’re mine. Don’t you think that’d be sexy? You'll look so much prettier with my name carved out on you," her words end in a moan

"Toga, this isn't funny." you cried as she sucked harshly on your neck ,marking you with blooming purple brusies. You could feel her grinning against your neck, it made her clit throb in arousal as you begged for her to let you go.Your moans and whines were the sweetest melody to her.

"You talk too much, hush now, sweetumms," her hand went under the hem of her skirt and to her wet panties, lifting it slowly, making a show, and stepping out of it, leaving her bottom half completely bare. She leaned over you, shifting against your crotch, drawing a long moan from your lips. She stuffed her panties in your mouth without hesitation,muffling the sweet noises you made, beaming at the sight. As much as she'd love to hear you scream for her, she couldn't risk anyone hearing.

She straddled you again and took hold of the knife. Her skin was on fire arousal taking over her, chest heaving upwards. Your gaze shamelessly settled on her perky nipples. She brushed the blade of the knife up and down your chest teasingly, circling it around your nipples as she grounded herself harder to your crotch.

You cried quietly, weakly pushing at her shoulders. "Babyy, you gotta be still for me okay?" she whispered as you whimpered and squirmed under her. You nodded and she pecked your cheek in appreciation.

All the things she could do to you ran through your head. She could stab you, over and over again. She could kill you. She was much stronger than you, you wouldn't be able to fight back, even if you tried. You shifted beneath her, eyeing the knife and feared for your life,she got rid of what was left of your shirt and angled the knife just above your collarbone.

Her spare hand on your upper arm steadying her up also while keeping you in place. You felt your body growing limp as she glided the blade over the skin just above your collarbone, tracing your collarbone with the blade,sending shivers down your spine. You tensed when you felt the tip of the cold blade, piercing and slicing through the flesh and skin, you let out a loud shrill scream as the stinging pain kicked in. She dragged the blade in a straight line, creating a long, gaping cut as crimson liquid started flowing out.

You screamed desperately into the fabric, uselessly squirming on the floor. Tears flowed from corners of your eyes, the pain too intense. It was too much. You bit down on the makeshift gag in an attempt to muffle your pained cries, shoving at her, trying to pull her off.

The knife found your skin again, making another cut adjacent to the last one, carving out her name on you, the fresh blood pooling and dripping down your chest. You groaned, tears cascading down your neck and mixing with the fresh blood, body growing number from the amount of blood loss.

"You look so pretty like this," she whispered softly, pampering your face with kisses to soothing the pain, her gaze was fixed on the blood slipping out with ease, slowly draining you out of life. Listening to your muffled noises made her hornier. Her arousal dripping down her thighs as she grinds on you. You looked so damn cute with your face all scrunched up in pain.

She pulled away to look at her work and smiled widely before bringing the knife to her mouth the tip of her tongue licking it clean, groaning at the taste of your blood. Her other hand slid to your hips to hold you down, her grip was bruising. "If only you could see how pretty you look," she breathed out in awe, the wound sharply contrasting with unharmed skin. you were a piece of art, 

What did she ever do to deserve your naive and innocent self?

She wasted no time leaning down bringing the bleeding wound to her lips and delving right in,making you whimper uncontrollably. Her tongue flicked skill-fully over the flesh,lapping over it repeatedly,her tongue lashing out harshly against the open wound hungrily

"You taste like candy, So fucking amazing." Toga cooed as her grip on you got stronger.

"You're so perfect, sweetums" she praised you, the sweetness of your blood sending jolts of electricity right to her core. Melting in pleasure, she exhaled shakily, her hot breath making you gasp and arch your back involuntarily. Her tongue instantly swiping across your chest and tummy, gathering all the blood on her tongue,Humming lowly as she continued to taste the metallic liquid on the tip of her tongue. ravaging you as you trembled and quaked beneath her. 

Everything about you was amazing – from the way you felt against her to your scent, your taste, the image of your bare body-even more so now that her name was carved out on you 

With a harsh bite to your wrist, she straightened herself and abandoned the knife, she grabbed your hand in hers and guides it to the lower half of her body. Your fingers hovering above her clit, she guided your thumb to brush and rub against it making her gasp silently at the feeling,

Your breath hitched as your eyes locked at the sight of her soaking wet pussy, her slick was trickling down her thighs and onto your legs. "I’ve always dreamed of this moment and now its finally happening!” toga exclaimed making you slide a single finger against her slit and slipping it inside. and curling it, her breath leaves her body. She grips your wrist tighter, back arching when you slip another. Her walls clenching desperately around your fingers, leaving her flushed and whimpering above you.

“fuck,go deeper please." Toga moaned out and you complied angling your wrist so that your fingers it went further deep inside her. She rolls her hips to meet your movements, shamelessly riding your hand. "Y-yes, oh my god, yes." Toga whines, guiding your nimble fingers, roughly pumping them at a rapid pace, your thumb pressing against her clit, making her tongue loll out of her mouth and eliciting all types of feral noises from her. "Yeah f-fuck right then Y/N"

Broken syllables of your name fell from her lips as she came from her high, coating your digits in her release your hands dripping wet. You let out a muffled exhale as she met your eyes as she brought your fingers up to her lips, lapping up her release coating your hand while moans escaped her lips.

she kept her eyes locked onto her name carved out on you, "I love you, I love you so much," she kept whispering as she rocked you back and forth slowly as you slip out of consciousness 

bonus

yan!toga @y/n b like

also yn in eVERY fic

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[warriorswand]

A drabble in the explanation of what happened when Lily Evans was there for Remus Lupin while no one else was (alternatively, a Very Important marauders PSA)

When Remus Lupin looks down into the achingly familar face of Harry Potter and tells him of the time Lily Evans had been there for him when no one else was, he doesn’t remember the third month of his first year at Hogwarts, when his heart had threatened to beat out of his chest the moment he realized he couldn’t lie to his (first ever) friends about what they had so correctly guessed regarding his monthly absences and injuries. Nor does he remember the snowy January of his fourth year when he had shakily, nervously, anxiously, drunkenly confessed that while he certainly liked girls quite a lot (Mary Macdonald had given him his first snog 3 months prior after all), he also definitely liked boys just as much (one boy in particular if he was honest — he wasn’t, not yet anyways).

The other marauders, his idiot marauders, bloody ADORED Remus John Lupin (he never understood why) and didn't give a DAMN about his condition or who he wanted to date. James-do-you-want-to-kiss-me-as-practice-for-blokes-moony-no-it-isn’t-going-to-be-weird-I’m-delightful-at-snogging-I’m-trying-to-hELP-Potter, Sirius-fuck-fuck-FUCK-he’s-beautiful-he’s-everything-shut-UP-prongs-I-love-him-I-love him-will-he-ever-love-me-Black, and Peter-no-don’t-practice-with-James-I-need-practice-snogging-too-we-could-learn-with-each-other-and-STOP-LAUGHING-PRONGS-Pettigrew spent a month with mandrake leaves pressed to the roof of their mouths so that their best friend, their Moony, wouldn’t have to face his greatest horror alone ever again. These boys, these brilliant wizards, these masters of the map, figured out his “furry little problem”, his deepest secrets, the things he always believed he had to hate, had to deny, and they DIDN’T CARE, they didn’t blink, they didn’t flinch.

(James Potter was the first person to ever know, to ever hear werewolf, and step forward and seize him in a hug without fear, without hesitation, and Remus Lupin never, EVER, forgot and sometimes, years later, when he is alone and the moon has made his bones ache he remembers and he closes his eyes and tries to hold himself as tightly as James Potter’s uncompromising friendship had. It isn’t the same, nothing is the same, and oh how he mourns his lost boys)

However. They’re young, so achingly young, and so often drunk on the invulnerability and impermanence of youth. And in that drunkenness, there was that one time. That horrible time. That one, horrible time in fifth year. When Sirius, his Sirius, who had always understood, who couldn’t have done this to him, not Sirius no, does the unthinkable.

Sirius Black loses his temper (he’s always had such a temper, he says it’s the curse of his surname; Remus knows it’s the pain of his parents hatred) and in his anger and rage and while he’s looking to make someone else hurt more than he is, he plays a prank. Just a prank. Just a prank without thinking for even a moment that sometimes, sometimes Sirius Black’s actions can have consequences he doesn’t expect, and “it’s just fucking Snivellus what do you care Prongs? Prongs? OY WHERE ARE YOU GOING? JAMES?” and Remus’s body is tearing itself apart at the moon’s command, he’s no longer himself, and then suddenly there’s a boy (a horrible, oily boy) and then another (a horribly familar one) and the last thing Remus Lupin is aware of is trying to hurt them, kill them, take them both, and the voice of a friend rising above his own snarls, “it’s not your fault! don’t blame yourself, this isn’t your fault Remus!”. When Remus wakes, his secret is no longer his secret and Snape knows, Snape knows, bloody fucking SNAPE KNOWS. And he’s FURIOUS. He’s livid, he’s broken, he can’t breath and the world is ending and “how could you! HOW COULD YOU?! how could you do this to ME?” Sirius, his Sirius, the boy he was almost sure felt the same way he did, one of his best friends, the one he trusted with the most fragile pieces of his heart, used an affliction Remus hated and loathed and suffered endlessly from in a callous attempt to best a schoolboy rival with no regard, no thought, for how it would hurt him, Remus, most of all.

(Sirius Black never did learn to think before he jumped, and when he dies, high on exhilaration, drunk on the act of actually doing something, he briefly remembers the reckless joy of his youth, because, just for a moment, he is laughing with James beside him, throwing curses and exchanging one-liners — but wait. No. No, no. Not James. Sirius isn’t with James. Harry, he’s with Harry. Until suddenly he isn’t. And Remus Lupin doesn’t scream when Sirius disappears behind the veil, as he holds James’s son back from the same fate. He doesn’t scream. His remembers. A thousand fragments of a million memories. Little flashes slipping, slipping, slipping away just like Sirius through the veil. A handsome face. A barking laugh. Lingering glances in the Great Hall. Months of steadfast and earnest apology and “I don’t expect for you to ever be able to forgive me, I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, but I’ll still be here. Always. I solemnly swear.” A cocky, confident, black-haired man who always somehow seemed eternal. The second one to leave Remus Lupin’s life forever.)

And Remus is SHATTERED and he can’t even LOOK at Sirius, but, then, almost as painful, in a very different way, is James. James, who hasn’t met Sirius’s eyes since he bolted from him to save two lives, James who considers it the height of dishonor to betray ones friends, James who hollered for Remus not to blame himself even as he took the brunt of Remus’s claws when he attacked, will not leave Sirius as Remus has. James wouldn’t abandon Sirius (even though “it’s JUSTIFIED, he deserves IT” but even as Remus screams it he already knows that James agrees and still won’t walk away). Because for James, Sirius is his closest mate, his family, his brother in every sense of the word, and “Moony, please, Moony I know but he needs me, he needs me just as bad.” But Remus, Remus is so hurt, so lost, so fucking alone he couldn’t understand and could only see a second betrayal, this time by his first real friend, “how could you choose him? after this? instead of me?” and James begged “I’m not choosing him Moony please, please, he knows how wrong he was, I’m trying to fix it —“ “It isn’t yours to fix James! You don’t understand, you can’t understand, I was a fool to think you ever could” “Moony, I do, I do understand—” “NO, no, you DON’T or you WOULDN’T—“ “he needs us more than ever —“ “I needed you more than ever and I won’t make that mistake again!” “Moony, no, please, MOONY! OY! Please come back, Moony, PLEASE!” But Remus couldn’t come back, he couldn’t forgive, not this, this betrayal went too deep and it’s consequences were far too harmful.

(And really, it isn’t until James Potter is long dead and Remus Lupin is watching Harry Potter choose to spare the life of the man who ripped James away from them all that he truly understands the particular brand of loyalty James Potter had shown Sirius Black during those awful dark days)

Remus walked away from them, walked away from them all, not even attempting to convince Peter to join him. Peter, who was chalkwhite and pale and shaking from this fight, this fight that was destroying them, his favorite people torn apart, his preferred family splitting at the seams, was being eaten alive with guilt, guilt over Remus’s pain, guilt over thinking it had been rather funny when Sirius had told him exactly a half-hour before he’d told James, and guilt over his relief at being largely ignored in this moment. See, even if Remus had asked him to go, Peter would have stayed with James and Sirius. He wasn’t really expected to say anything in this fight to end all fights, and that was just fine by him, Peter was too afraid of Remus's anger (because of all of them he was the sweetest but he was also the most fearful, and he had never fully mastered James and Sirius’s ability to completely forget Remus’s affliction) and he was not at all willing to risk ending up alone if he chose wrong. So, Peter stuck with James. He stuck with James and tried to help alleviate his most favorite friend of the weight and responsibility of trying to reconnect them. And, with that, for the first time since boarding the Hogwarts Express in first year, Remus Lupin is alone. Refusing to reconcile with his best friends, burning with betrayal, and carrying a cracking, aching heart in his chest, he has no one at all.

(Peter loved Remus, he really did, he loved them all, honest, but he loved James most and he suspected the others knew, and hell, he was sure Pads and Moony loved James most too because why wouldn’t they? Who wouldn’t choose James? James with his easy smile and effortless popularity and hazel eyes that crinkled just so when he threw his head back and laughed. James who could make anyone feel special, who made Peter feel special when no one else ever had. Peter didn’t choose Sirius over Remus, no, he chose James. And Peter Pettigrew chooses James Potter only once more in his life — when he takes his artificial silver hand away from James’s son’s neck and turns it on his own because Harry Potter, oh Harry Potter, looks so much like the boy he loved most all those years ago)

It was just days after the incident and just hours after that last horrible fight with the others, when, with his head heavy in his hands on a bench in the shadowy corner of the courtyard, still sore from the moon, he felt a small, warm hand drop onto his shoulder and lifted his eyes to see flaming red hair and soft green eyes and that kind smile that was so quintessentially Lily Evans. And as his eyes fill with tears, she sits next to him, and, merlin he is so much taller than she is, but she pulls his head down onto her shoulder so he can feel small and protected and safe from the brutal cruelty of Sirius’s mistake. And she doesn't ask questions (but she knows all about Remus's condition, she figured it out ages ago, those marauders really were horrid liars for lads who considered themselves so bloody stealthy) and she had overheard whispers between James, Sirius, and Peter when she certainly had NOT been watching James Potter mussing up his stupid black hair.

(And she certainly hadn’t been worried over what had caused the deep bags under his normally brilliant hazel eyes, she’d never seen him so deflated, so serious, so grown-up, and where was the boy she’d always been sort-of mates with, the one who taught her to play gobstones back in second year, who was so cocky and unshakable, who could even make McGonagall crack a smile in the midst of reprimanding him, and she didn’t like this desperately sad James Potter, she missed awful jokes and horrible pick-up lines more than she ever could have imagined she would and DAMN was James Potter under her skin)

Even though she didn't know the details of what happened, she knew something had. She knew that it had to have been Something Terrible in order to come between those four and when Remus's breath was finally evening out, his shoulders ceasing to shake, he began talking. And talking and talking. Once he started, he didn't stop, didn't even realize that when he mentioned his "furry little problem" Lily Evans didn’t so much as flinch. He unleashed everything, all his pain and heartache and bitter rage, onto his fellow prefect. A girl he’d been mates with for years, who he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of, because if anyone could maybe understand what it was like to be fucking terrified of a blood-deep label it would be her, “a half-breed werewolf and a dirty mudblood what a pair we make, aye Remus?” And it was Lily who accepted his anger at the others, who didn't push him to get over it or talk to them again. It was Lily who late one night, unbeknownst to Remus, cornered Sirius in the common room and, without judgement or anger, helped him too, helped him push his shame aside and “Sirius you need to go to him — no listen — prove to him you regret it and show him you’re sorry, he doesn’t hate you, not really.”

So, it was weeks and weeks later, after a teary reunion and four repaired relationships, that Remus had just managed to stop laughing at Lily’s spirited re-enactment of James drunkenly getting his head stuck in the bannister railing at the last Gryffindor house party. And, just as the Fat Lady’s portrait comes into view with the completion of their rounds for the night, he glances down at the flushed, grinning face of Lily Evans and (feeling oddly sentimental, unusually emotional, and unendingly grateful) softly murmurs to her that he had always wanted a sister yet he hadn’t realized that she would have red hair and a massive crush on his best mate. Even as she shrieked and laughed in (quite forced) outrage, aiming a kick at his shins, she also reached out and squeezed his hand quite tightly, not dropping it as they strolled into the common room to greet their friends. Lily Evans was there for Remus Lupin at a time when no one else was, at a time when he was far too fragile for anyone else to be, because no one can care for you better than a sister.

(Lily Evans knew how to be a sister even after hers decided to hate her but never imagined that she could find a brother in the form of Remus Lupin, a brother who would love and accept her the way her sister never could. And when James and Lily Potter died, Remus Lupin mourned both his truest friend and only sibling. Years later, back on the Hogwarts Express, he hands chocolate to a shaken and embarrassed thirteen-year-old boy with James’s face and Lily’s eyes and wonders if Harry Potter would ever know that he hadn’t always been Professor Lupin, he had first been Uncle Moony)