#jamikali angst

[greenapplebling]

I was pestered with Jamikali thoughts so have a short fanfic that I might or might not continue 💖

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Pair: fem Kalim Al-Asim x Jamil Viper

Hard to love

***

"Jamil", the heiress called for his attention. "Do you think I'm hard to love?"

The servant sighed. He just had to finish cleaning and he'll be free to go, but of course Kalim would take it as the perfect time to make an uncomfortable question.

Yes, he wanted to say. But he felt like that would open a can of worms he wasn't in the mood to get into so he avoided the question.

"Does that matter?"

Kalim jumped up.

"Of course it matters! What would I do if my future husband doesn't like me?", she puffed up her cheeks but then deflated. "I wouldn't want him to be miserable..."

Future husband

So it's that what it was about? He worried that she was referring to his overblot incident where he spilled all his hatred towards her...

Still, there was a strange weight in his chest that refused to go.

"... Why do you think you're hard to love?"

Kalim looked surprised at the question.

"Well, you said it yourself!", oh, there it was. "I can't cook, I can't clean, I can study on my own, I couldn't even dress myself until recently!"

She plopped down on her bed and started kicking like a child.

"... What kind of person would love an useless wife?" she lamented after she stopped her small tantrum.

"But that doesn't matter", Jamil insisted. "Kalim, you're rich and have servants. You don't need to do these things. I'm sure your husband will spoil you rotten anyway."

He thought he gave a reassuring enough answer but he got taken aback when he looked up to his mistress' face. She was red in the face, with puffed up cheeks and a frown. She looked quite silly but it was also the angriest Jamil has seen her so far.

"I don't want to be spoiled rotten! I want to be-", she cut off her yelling before looking at the side looking more sad than angry. "I want to be loved...", she said in small voice.

Jamil had half a mind to leave it at that and walk away but he decided to change tactic instead.

"Kalim", he sighed. "There's a lot of people that love you, your parents, your siblings", he avoided talking about the rest of her family. "Lots of students from the dorm like you and I'm sure the friends you've made like you. Does that sound like an unlovable person to you?"

Kalim hesitated.

"No?", but then she jumped up again. "But that's different! I want to a loving wife to my future husband!"

She grabbed her phoned and showed Jamil various tabs about "how to be a good wife".

Really, Jamil was feeling his patience running out.

"See? All these articles say that a good wife should be able to do all that stuff!"

"Kalim-"

"A good wife should greet her husband with his favorite meal."

"Kalim, that's-"

"A good wife should be able to take on the chores when her husband comes back tired from work."

"Kalim, I-"

"A good wife should be able to take care of her husband as much he takes care of her."

"Kalim-"

"A good wife should make her husband feel loved", then she looked directly at his eyes. "Like I couldn't do for you."

"Kalim, you- Wait, what?", he mumbled.

"Jamil", she said softly while looking at him with tearful eyes. "I love you..."

Suddenly he found it difficult to breath.

He knew that. Of course he did, it was obvious, way too obvious... And yet...

"I'm sorry I failed to make you feel loved."

Right there, he felt like crumbling before her confession. Like she did before his betrayal.

[jellyfishrunaway]

The eclipse.

An: I felt silly. Also, first time writing angst for these two (and the first time I've written these two as well), sorry if anything is occ. Also nods to book 4 so spoilers ig?

Not beta read

Includes: wonky prospective, unrequited love/right person, wrong time

Jamil lay still on the overgrown grass. The wind danced with the grass as the sun set over the horizon. A cold hand ran through Jamil's hair, brushing through the small knots. Jamil wanted nothing more than to push away Kalim's hand, but he didn't dare move. Kalim stopped for a moment, keeping his hand in Jamil's hair. Kalim knew Jamil didn't really hate him, but he couldn't help but feel guilty. Guilty for not realizing sooner, guilty for not being more responsible. Thought the two didn't exchange words, they both knew that something had broken between them in that moment. As the sun's last rays painted over the landscape with oranges and blues, Kalim knew that Jamil hadn't loved him. Kalim knew that Jamil had only agreed so that no consequences befall him. Kalim knew deep down that Jamil only agreed so that nothing had to change. Kalim knew. Jamil knew he did. But they stayed silent. Kalim took a deep breath, quietly saying, "Maybe we could have loved each other. Maybe we'll just have to meet again when the moon overlaps the sun, we'll be ready. We'll be ready to love each other." Jamil stayed silent. The silence was loud, yet neither of them found the confidence to talk. The grass whispered, and the trees clattered. It was beautiful.

...

And maybe, in another universe, it could have ended how it was supposed to.

[vanilla-poisons]

If Kalim knew Jamil was hypnotizing him and hated him secretly, it does not make him stupid. It makes him hear Jamil make cruel comments under his breath and watch the light leave his eyes when he turns to face him. It means every time his middle schools friends asked who Kalim was, he heard him say nobody special. It means he has to panic knowing that if he doesn’t remember something it could mean he had been hypnotized. That every time Jamil compliments him or says anything kind, it’s laced with pain and resent. That every time he gently applies his makeup and ties his head scarf it’s done without love. It means that he has to go to sleep knowing the man he loves with all his soul would rather die than hold him sincerely. It means Kalim has chosen to believe in something so blatantly untrue to keep their relationship alive. He’d rather live with glass shards in his hand then have to deal with the emptiness of their absence.

[xochitai]

ooo I don't have time to write it now but thinking of a jamikali AU... A few months after winter break they get called back home seemingly out of nowhere. Turns out: someone told Kalim's parents about the overblot. Kalim makes every excuse he can think of, because if he can't Jamil will 100% be dead and eventually pulls the "I love him" card. His parents try to call his bluff and basically go "ok, prove it. Do this magic ritual that will bind your souls together and will make you unable to physically harm each other." Kalim knows Jamil's gonna resent him [for real this time] but it's the only way to keep him and his family safe...

Kalim clings to his father in a way he hasn't since he was a child. He's never been particularly tall, but he'll use every extra centimeter he has to keep the man from leaving and alerting the guards. He scrambles for something to say that he hasn't already. "If you woke up and mama was pressing a knife to your throat, would you stop her? Would you tell anyone what happened? Report it to any authority?" His father stops. "Kalim..." His voice starts firm, but quickly trails off. "Baba, please, you can't-" Kalim buries his face in his father's shoulder. He's out of options. Hopefully Jamil won't be too mad at him for this. "I love him." The man sighs.

All ye who were nosy and clicked the kept reading, your reward: a snippet. The only one I have [for now]

[werdyle]

scarabia stop being the most doomed by the narrative duo ever challenge level impossible

long-winded probably non-canon-compliant ramble incoming under the cut lol. even if most of it is not true to canon i like to imagine twst lore as much darker than is presented 😭😭 partially inspired by @vanilla-poisons lovely analysis

kalim knowing he was being hypnotized by jamil and knowing jamil secretly hated him and doing nothing to stop it doesn’t make him stupid. it’s just . sad. it means he hears jamil insult him under his breath. means he recognizes the mirthful sparkle in jamil’s eyes when emptily scolding the scarabia freshman for talking badly of kalim. he knows what it means when the light leaves jamil’s eyes as soon as he turns to face him, but wants to avoid them all the same for the eye contact could risk the hypnosis at any moment. it means he panics when he forgets parts of his day for fear that that time was lost under jamil’s control. it means his grades suffer because he doesn’t finish his tests on time; when he struggles to remember something, that fear crosses his mind. the memories come back. it means he knows that any compliment or act of service done by jamil is resentful beneath the surface. it means that though he trusts jamil to test his food for poison, he must always fear that one day, jamil will be the one to drip the cyanide into his cup.

it means that kalim never hears jamil’s true laugh directed towards him - never hears it except for when he’s got his ear pressed against the door while jamil talks to students in the dorm hall. maybe jamil cannot feel joy in kalim’s presence. but jamil’s true laugh is not subdued - and every time kalim hears it, he has little time to feel self-conscious, for his blood runs cold. he dreams of the oh-so-similar cackle from jamil’s overblot.

it means that he watches trey love riddle regardless of his overblot, and sees riddle’s barely-concealed gratitude. it means that he watches ruggie banter with leona, using that same arm leona nearly turned to dust to slap his leg in a fit of laughter. he sees the twins still pleased to work with azul - god, he doesn’t even want to think of azul, can’t handle the nausea of knowing what develops between him and jamil.

every morning jamil wraps kalim’s headscarf and applies his eyeliner, with surgical precision once mistaken for gentleness. jamil won’t let him learn how to do it himself, and kalim is frustrated to tears when he sits at his vanity at three am trying to figure it out, and realizing how utterly *useless* he is without jamil.

he knows that this is jamil’s design. jamil does not want kalim to be able to function without him, and yet he also does not want to be in servitude. kalim could let him go. kalim could fire the viper family – he’s basically royalty, he’s got the means. but he won’t. he will try to assure himself it’s because he knows jamil doesn’t want that for his family, because he cannot address the ache he feels at imagining jamil’s absence.

he doesn’t denounce jamil’s hatred for him and the murder attempt during the overblot, because in doing so, he’d have to rid himself of jamil. and he cannot function without him. he loves the man with his whole spirit - is it because jamil is all he has? all he could ever have? jamil is, in essence, his slave. jamil revels in kalim’s guilt far too much to leave, to let him take care of himself. kalim is too selfish and too fearful to remove himself. despite seeing jamil and his family live their whole life serving the asim house, he still doesn’t understand that jamil hates him not for who he is, but because he is a slave. kalim does not understand that he cannot just fix this. jamil understands that he cannot let kalim be independent, for he will realize that he can do without his retainer, that he will realize jamil’s violent actions, and the viper family will be ruined. but he does not know that kalim already knows that he is hated. he knows that the man he loves with all of his heart, the man who will not let anyone kill kalim because he wants to kill kalim *himself*, will never hold him in his arms willingly. but he will do it if kalim asks. and kalim, yearning beating morality every time, will ask.

he will believe this blatant delusion and grasp the shattered pieces of his childhood and his heart in his hands, the blood ignored, because he cannot handle the reality that would come from the cuts healing.

[raverin-2]

I'll Give You The Only Thing I Can

Summary: Kalim decides he's going to set Jamil free, but an impromptu meeting with their parents to discuss the overblot speeds the process up. It also happens to make Kalim snap in a way he never expected to snap at his own mother, but at least he knows Jamil is free and the Viper family is safely protected and can be freed as well under the Al-Asim name. Now, now he just has to stop worrying Jamil while he moves to his new dorm, and everything will be okay.

~There are Spoilers and there is mention of burning and blisters, magic things, it's glanced over but wanted to mention it!~

~Timeline mentions... if you play the game, I would put this after Idia's book, but before Malleus' book (which i haven't read obvi, so no spoilers there, I don't think, but I will mark spoilers on each piece in the future series). This way it would give them at least three months to deal with the whole situation, but also still have them coming to terms with it because of the other overblots.~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Public Release Date: September 23rd

lil sneak peek:

[redislonely]

Overblot gone wrong (pt 1)

[nami-moittli]

FUCK jamikali romantic angst what about jamikali sibling angst?

For context, there have been multiple instances of Kalim stating that Jamil is like a brother to him. I find it funny how many jamikali shippers delve so deep into the two’s relationship and never bring this up. Ofc, I get why, if you ship em, you probably don’t want to attach that label to them, but as someone who hates the ship, I will focus on it, thank you very much!

Kalim has a lot of siblings, way too many, really but it helps him understand all sorts of different relationships you can have with your siblings.

Including the bad ones. Imagine Kalim’s perspective, when it’s revealed that Jamil was the one who manipulated him. Of course, Kalim knew, deep down, but he didn’t want to believe it, to believe the one person he could trust was plotting his downfall, to believe that another one of his siblings wanted him gone so that they could be in the spotlight instead.

Do you think, in that moment, that Kalim saw the faces of all his siblings who tried to take him out, one way or another?

Kalim knew what happened when people, his siblings got caught in an assassination attempt. He knew the same thing would happen to Jamil, he knew that worse would happen to one of his beloved siblings on account of Jamil not being his brother.

And that was his weakness, wasn’t it? Loving to easily, to fully. Believing the good in others, always. That even the worst can change, because you never know, or perhaps, you know all too well, the reason why they’re the worst.

He didn’t want one of his siblings to hurt like that, even though he knew that those siblings never saw him as one

Anyway, I want to see less romantic jamikali and see more one-sided sibling jamikali. Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk

[starboyshoyo]

As much as I would love a JamiKali fic with “I won’t say I’m in love”, I don’t think you’ll feel comfy doing that so—Can I have a Say No to This fic with Malleus (without the cheating please 🥲, that makes me sad as hell)

Curtain Call: a songfic event

Song: Say No To This from Hamilton

Pairing: Malleus Draconia x fem!reader

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Genre: angst, hurt no comfort

Warnings: infidelity (Malleus cheats on an arranged fiancé with reader), intimacy (non-graphic; implied)

Malleus knows he shouldn’t do this- his engagement is for the good of the kingdom. So why are you so irresistible to him?

“Malleus? Is it morning already?”

“Shh. Go back to sleep my love. We still have a few hours… stay with me.” The dark fae soothes your sleepy questions, head tucked under his chin and curled into his chest. The moon is still high in the sky, and he wishes for it to stay forever- though he knows that it won’t. Soon, the sun will come to replace it, and his fiancé will arrive back at the castle to clean sheets and no trace of you except for your lingering scent in his mind. It’ll continue like this every time she leaves- and the guilt will continue to press on him every time he lets himself fall into your embrace.

Malleus knows he shouldn’t do this. He already has a ring on his finger and an obligation to his kingdom to pretend to love someone he never really could. He knows that if- when- this gets out, it will bring his entire world crashing down around him.

But when you’re in his arms, body pressed against him and buried under the sheets, he just can’t bring himself to care.

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[somany-fandoms-solittle-time]

My favorite type of Jamikali angst or Hurt/Comfort is when Kalim decides to slowly back off on complimenting and being around Jamil.... So Jamil gets that "shit. Oh fuck. Oh God oh Fuck." thought process while he realizes how much he misses it.

And then he has to overcome his pride and emotional constipation to start going out of his way to interact first. Just having to deal with the consequences of his actions and the absolute despair of not being the most important person in someone's life anymore and having to consciously pine over what was. The misunderstandings. Sifting through all the misplaced feelings while laying in bed staring at the ceiling. KNOWING that something had to change, but maybe you went too far and now everything's broken. You fucked everything up and the most precious person in your world is no longer the same.

But, ofc, Kalim is thinking THE EXACT SAME THING but he's slowly opening up to his support group (the Pop Music Club, the other 2nd years etc). Everyone's just watching this trash fire of a complicated relationship and how these completely down bad idiots are circling each other but too stuck in their own issues to do anything about it. It's painful and raw and it'd be perfect of they were JUST HONEST WITH EACH OTHER!!!!

Cue one of them is having a nightmare about the Overblot. Or Kalim takes Jamil's servitude in his own hands just for Jamil to suddenly feel tossed aside. Maybe Kalim gets sick or poisoned and has to go through the motions of that shared trauma but the status quo has shifted. A badly timed visit back home. The Al-Asim family sends a different servant to take care of Kalim and Jamil is not fucking having it.

[probably-iron-deficiency]

Victim

📌ao3 link

summary: More treasures than could fill a cave, more leisure than an oasis, more willing and able bodies than could fill a ravine, and Kalim would give it all up in a heartbeat to keep Jamil by his side. or, After Jamil's overblot, Kalim finds himself isolated in his home, reevaluating the only true friendship he's ever had. He should probably stay away from Jamil. He doesn't, and it's for the better.

✦pairing✦ JamiKali

✦CW✦ suicidal ideation, Kalim kills a guy but its for Jamil so-

✦tags✦ Introspection, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post Book 4, Pre-Slash

✦word count✦ 4k+

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄✧⋄⋆ fic below⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄

Jamil was right. Kalim was undeniably, in mind and soul, selfish. 

His knife-sharp words had dug an open wound into Kalim which hadn’t stopped bleeding since his overblot. It had been two weeks since the event, and Kalim found himself back in his own home. After hearing reports of “magical abnormalities” at Scarabia, his parents had requested that Kalim and Jamil return home until the term started again. No one knew what had happened during winter break, and in perhaps the last unspoken bond between Jamil and Kalim, they would never find out. It had been five days since they had returned home, and he hadn’t seen Jamil once. The palace was big enough to never interact without arousing any suspicion. Kalim’s room was essentially its own luxury suite- he didn’t have to leave it, so he didn’t. The space felt large and empty without another’s presence, and Kalim was left to fill the void with the things Jamil had said. 

With nearly a week of isolated thinking on it, Kalim knew that he was selfish. Maybe not in worldly things- he had enough of those to satisfy the greediest man a hundred lifetimes over. A verifiable army of people willing to flip themselves inside out just to get on the heir’s good side, allowing him to bypass any and all struggles that an average mortal might face. Of course, none of this was necessary: Kalim was nothing if not charitable, and despite the displeasure of the Asim treasurers, he was more than willing to give back where he could. 

And Kalim didn’t want any of it. 

More treasures than could fill a cave, more leisure than an oasis, more willing and able bodies than could fill a ravine, and Kalim would give it all up in a heartbeat to keep Jamil by his side. Maybe not physically- Kalim would never force Jamil to stay somewhere he hated (not that Kalim knew Jamil hated him until recently). His heart would be enough, wherever Jamil’s body was, his love would placate Kalim. Kalim wanted the one thing that wasn’t- couldn’t- be handed over to him, and despite his riches, he couldn’t let it go. 

Kalim was selfish. 

In all honesty, Kalim knew that somewhere, deep down, he knew what Jamil was doing to him before his overblot. He could’ve- should’ve- said something to Jamil, no matter how badly the conversation would’ve gone. But the idea of losing the only person that had ever only helped Kalim and never harmed, the only person that had ever stayed. Kalim, tactless, cemented excuses to his lash-line and greedily continued his blissful naivety. 

He wished for a moment more of peace, and it had nearly cost him everything.

(It had nearly cost him Jamil.)

Kalim remembered a conversation he had with Azul when they were cast into the desert. 

“He betrayed you, Kalim. Don’t you understand that? Aren’t you angry?”

Even now, weeks later, he wouldn’t call it a betrayal. It wasn’t fair to Jamil.

It would break Kalim.

Ah, perhaps he was being selfish even now. Perhaps Jamil had wanted to betray Kalim, wanted Kalim to actually boil into rage, give Jamil a decent opponent to pit his years of oppression against. Even this Kalim could not give him. 

Kalim vouching for Jamil did nothing to nullify the brutal whisperings of the Scarabia students. Some lamented Kalim’s inefficiency, his spinelessness in being controlled by Jamil in the first place and his continued failure to remove Jamil from his post. Others, less scared of the potential recoil from the vice-housewarden, spoke of Jamil as a ruthless dark magician. An insignificant, ungrateful moon that stole its light from the ever generous sun. 

Kalim had heard worse rumors about himself, and figured the students were entitled to their opinions. (He knew Jamil had heard worse about himself, too, and that he probably didn’t care about the ramblings of some third-rate underclassmen).

(No one but Jamil’s opinion mattered, anyways.)

It had been a… vaguely mutual decision to cut contact as much as possible after Jamil’s overblot. No longer bound by his facade of complacency, Jamil had made it very clear very quickly that he had no intention of looking after Kalim for the time being. Kalim didn’t mind that, really. He wanted Jamil to do what made him happy, and if seeing Kalim as little as possible made up for years of Kalim’s blindness to his feelings, then Kalim would gladly oblige. 

(Secretly, Kalim felt as though he had been ripped in two- his only lifeline to real, truthful connection severed. He barely slept, barely spoke, barely moved. Sometimes, when the moon shone clearly overhead, Kalim would sit on the balcony, legs dangling 14 stories over the Asim gardens, and wonder if it would’ve been better for Jamil if Kalim had just gone along with his plan and died. Jamil wouldn’t do anything for Kalim that he wasn’t obliged to do by familial pressure- Kalim knew that now. But Kalim would do anything for Jamil. Right now, if Jamil were to knock on his door and ask him to slit his own throat, Kalim would be dead before he hit the floor. If only Jamil would ask something of him.

Dizzily, he wondered if the scented candles Jamil used to light for his baths looked forward to being used.) 

Despite their lack of contact, Kalim still heard a knock on his door twice a day. Outside would be freshly cooked food, sealed in containers with a tamper-proof charm in place. Kalim clung to these moments like no other, even though Jamil was always gone by the time he got to the door.

Jamil wanted to be left alone; it was obvious. After spending almost 17 years of your life with someone you despised, of course you wouldn’t want to see them. When school started up again, it would be harder for Jamil to avoid Kalim- as Housewarden and Vice of Scarabia, there would be no end to the amount of time they would be forced to be together. Especially since Kalim was, admittedly, useless at his leadership duties without Jamil as his loyal advisor.

But Kalim was selfish.

5 days was the longest he had ever gone without seeing Jamil. Not a single soul had come to check on him in his near week of being home, not that Kalim blamed them for that. It was Jamil’s job to check on him, supposedly. (On the second day, Kalim realized it never should have been his job. He never should have been forced to be Kalim’s servant in body and friend in words- it was only time before he became Kalim’s enemy in mind.) 

Fleetingly, he wondered how many days it would take someone to stumble upon his body if he died here. He wondered if, in the end, it would be Jamil who found him. 

Kalim, alone in his room, was unraveling at the seams. 

He wanted to see Jamil. He needed to see Jamil, make sure he was still ok. Make sure, even if childishly, that he still existed outside of Kalim’s view. Just a glimpse of him would be enough- it was late, if Jamil’s ironclad routine still held true, he would be asleep. It would be quick.

Kalim was so, truly, selfish. 

Smooth, cool stone chilled Kalim’s bare feet as he padded lightly through the hall. The estate was built to ward off heat, and a brisk night breeze came through the paneless windows, palm leaves swaying in the wind. He shivered, pulling his arms closer to his chest. Jamil would chide him for walking around in pajamas in the middle of the night. He would have, anyway.

Luckily for him, Jamil’s room was not too far from Kalim's own. When they were around 10 years old, it was decided that Jamil would stay in suites designated for higher ranking members of the Asim family rather than the servant residences where his own family lived. Officially, the reasoning was that Jamil had been such a loyal retainer to his young master Asim that he was being rewarded with lavish living conditions. At the time, Kalim was just thrilled to be closer to his best friend- they could have sleepovers practically every night! Now though, Kalim wondered if Jamil was moved closer to his room just so he could serve him better, protect him more easily if someone were to stage an attack. Did Jamil even want to move out of his family’s home, back then? Did he cry when his parents told him he had to leave, or did he just accept it apathetically, resigned to his life sentence? Kalim wasn’t sure which was worse. 

At the expense of a 10 year old Jamil, a 17 year old Kalim easily traced the dark path between their rooms, expertly dodging open windows and lights shining from the rooms of those who had not yet gone to sleep or had just woken up. It would be better for everyone if he wasn’t seen. 

Kalim slowed as he approached the door, muscle memory guiding him directly in front of it. He paused, breathing deeply. Jamil’s senses were needle sharp after years of guarding Kalim, he would have to be exceedingly careful if he didn’t want Jamil to wake up and notice him. Somewhat ironically, Kalim’s own senses were sharp, if not sharper, than Jamil’s; attuned to hearing even the slightest changes in footsteps or the faintest smell in a freshly prepared dish. 17 years of protecting someone, no matter how you felt about them, would hone your abilities to react, defend, fight. 17 years of expecting to be murdered, even if you were known as an unbearably loud person, would allow you to nearly disappear.      

Kalim’s nose twitched, a peculiar scent drifting from the room. Sharp, almost as if someone had made sparks from sanding down metal, but capped with something more heavy. Magic. 

It would be near imperceptible to the average mage, but Kalim was on par with beastmen when it came to his uncanny ability to identify things by scent. Normally, he would expect this smell to be close to other practicing magic users, especially if they were back at Night Raven, with students laboriously practicing spells over and over until they had worn themselves out. 

But didn’t overblotting stop you from using magic normally for a few weeks? Kalim remembered Leona using his own overblot as an excuse to get out of Housewarden duties, citing his unpredictable magic as “too dangerous” to do work. Even Riddle had taken some time off after his overblot, much to the surprise of Kalim. When he asked Riddle about it a few days after he returned, Riddle explained that overblotting would leave the victim, no matter how strong they were, in a very weakened state afterwards, before he had quickly changed the subject. 

Kalim squinted. Something wasn’t adding up.

Silently, he took another step forward. The uncomfortably familiar smell of molten copper burned Kalim’s nostrils, and he clutched his hand to his face to stop himself from coughing.

No. Jamil must have cut himself on something, or maybe his wounds from the battle reopened. But then, why the thick scent of magic that clogged his sinuses the closer he moved to the door? Jamil shouldn’t be able to do magic like that right now, not without risking himself. It was 3 in the morning, what would he even be doing?

Something moved sharply in Kalim’s peripheral, and his eyes quickly followed the movement. From under Jamil’s door, lit by the moon, shadows danced mockingly at Kalim.     

Nauseous, he recalled a conversation overheard a few years prior. Kalim, looking for Jamil, had overheard him talking to someone. Not wanting to intrude, Kalim had waited behind a large stone pillar until an “appropriate” time made itself available. Accidentally, he began to eavesdrop.

“I’m lucky they only go after Kalim.”

“Jamil! Don’t say things like that.”

“Why not? It’s true, Najma. It’s a good thing most of his kidnappers are as stupid as they are shortsighted.”

“What do you mean?”

“If they take Kalim, someone will just go and save him, taking them out in the process. Me? I’m not worth the manpower. The Asims would pay the ransom and wouldn’t send anyone to investigate… I’m curious to see what I’d be worth, though.”

Kalim had soundlessly fled the scene, imploring himself to forget what he had just heard. When Jamil found him in his room hours later, he either didn’t notice or didn’t care to ask about Kalim’s red-rimmed eyes and blotchy face.

Surely not. Kalim crept forward. Surely the world would not be as cruel as to force Jamil to suffer further, not after he had nearly perished for simply wanting to be free. He held his breath, hand reaching for the cool brass of the doorknob. Surely he was simply over-tired- anxious from days of solitude away from Jamil’s watchful eyes. Slowly, he turned the knob. The door was unlocked.

The world had never been particularly kind to them, had it.

A horrible portrait invaded his sight, lit like a silhouette. Jamil, looking smaller than Kalim had ever seen him, struggled fruitlessly in the grasp of a horrifically muscled man. His hair had been ripped out of its careful braids, arms bent at an unnatural angle. Blood trickled like satin down the side of him, and the smirking man held a silver, red-stained dagger at his throat. 

Time seemed to slow as two pairs of eyes locked on Kalim’s intrusion. Quickly, he realized a few things. 1) The man was unmasked, meaning his plan was to grab Jamil and leave as quickly as possible without being seen. 2) His towering physique confirmed this- assassins tended to be slimmer, more agile, needing only to slip through a window and take out their prey. This was a bruiser more commonly seen in the market’s alleyways than infiltrating the estate, Kalim was more than familiar with his type. Their goal was simply to take, not kill, by any violent means necessary. 3) Even in Jamil’s weakened, magicless state, the intruder hadn’t bothered to use any spells himself to make the job easier. He wasn’t a mage.

Kalim’s heart beat loudly in his ears, drowning out the surrounding sound. No one moved, the struggle frozen in a fragile state of shock. Kalim’s eyes flitted to Jamil’s face, taking in the sight of him. His mouth was hidden behind one of the large hands of his attacker, but his eyes met with Kalim’s. 

For the first time in 17 years, Jamil’s gaze stared back at him with fear.

“Don’t move, little rich boy, and your servant will be just fine.” The man smirked. “What’s one of these, anyways? You have hundreds, I’m sure you’ll be fine until we get our money’s worth.”

Kalim used to vomit after Jamil saved him, hands still bloody from whatever sad battle had played out. He stopped getting nauseous after the 5th time it happened. After a year, he only found himself worried about the state of Jamil, carefully checking him over for any cuts or scrapes. 

Jamil had killed for Kalim countless times, under instruction. Kalim wasn’t sure if Jamil would kill for him under different circumstances. But Kalim would do anything for Jamil.

A tidal wave of emotion battered the rocky cliffs of his mind. The ever-present naivety that had been hairline fracturing for a lifetime, held together only by the fear of nihilism was chipping, cracking. Slabs of his principles and boulders of his morals crashed into the white-capped water of his soul, forming a whirlpool that churned and pulled.

Freezing cold something pulsed through his body.

Terror. Rage. Love.

In a flash, magic poured out of him, glinting like razor blades under the light of the moon. Deadly fast, it crashed into its target. 

The man holding Jamil froze, the muscles in his arms tensing violently. Kalim cricked his neck, and the intruder fell sideways, staring at the young heir in shock. Suddenly, he coughed. And coughed, and kept coughing, hands grasping futilely at his own throat as he began to choke up water, fresh and clear. His writhing gave way to desperate pleads.

“Plea-ugh. Mer- mercy.” He gasped in between breaths. 

The tempest of Kalim’s soul sneered. Mercy? What mercy had they ever given him? What mercy had they given Jamil? There was no answer, and the ocean rose again. 

Vessels burst in the man’s face, quickly overtaken by the mounting pressure within his body. His tears flowed equal parts blood and water and his eyes bulged from his skull like an unfortunate fish drawn too quickly from the depths. 

In hindsight, it was almost too quick. 

The man let out a final wheeze, perhaps a scream if his lungs hadn’t already burst, and his bloated corpse fell uselessly to the floor.

His life, like poetry, spilled into cool stone. 

Kalim stood, fists clenched hard enough to draw blood, body thrumming with the aftershocks of his magic. It seemed fitting that the most powerful storm he ever summoned was one for Jamil alone.

Jamil.

Kalim rushed forward, gathering Jamil in his arms. The latter breathed harshly, wincing as his injured arm was moved. Kalim shut his eyes, willing the reserves of his magic to come to the surface. He muttered enchantments as he skimmed his fingers across Jamil’s skin, wounds knitting themselves slowly back together. He would still need to be tended to by a proper physician, but healing magic was instinctual, and known to grow stronger with intent… Jamil would be safely in the clear, if not a little uncomfortable.

A hush fell over them as Kalim finished his work. Normally, after Jamil had protected him from someone (killed someone for Kalim), Kalim would try to fill the silence by chatting about some inane thing. Whether or not Jamil responded was besides the point- he just wanted to let Jamil know he felt safe, even if the words he spoke fell on deaf ears.

This felt different, somehow, and Kalim for once found himself with nothing to say. Instead, he allowed himself to focus on the sound of Jamil’s steady breathing- clear airways, no major injuries, no lingering scent of poison. Kalim had learned to appreciate this single comfort: the calm after a storm, and the two of them safe on the beach. 

“Kalim.” Jamil’s voice was somewhat gravely, most likely from being choked. Kalim gripped Jamil’s shoulder tighter.

“Jamil, are you feeling alright?” 

“You made sure of that.” He huffed, and Kalim felt the contents of his stomach churn anxiously. He couldn’t think of something to say, so he didn’t.

“Kalim. That man…”

“He’s dead.”

“Ah…” Jamil coughed weakly, body shuddering against Kalim’s. Kalim watched silently as the last of Jamil’s cuts sealed themselves up. 

“Your braids came undone.”

Jamil shifted against him, and Kalim paused to see if he would turn to face him. He didn’t.

“It takes a long time to do them, right?” He nodded without responding. 

Gently, Kalim allowed his fingers to brush through the ends of Jamil’s long hair. How long had it been since he’d touched it? Since they were kids, maybe. Since Jamil was forced to lower himself to Kalim, and stopped allowing Kalim to do anything for him. 

Brushing back a section over Jamil’s shoulder, Kalim began to weave patterns into his hair, the night breeze working against his progress. 

Kalim’s hands were not shaking, and Jamil’s breath didn’t hitch, breaking the silence as he cried.

~~~~~

“Kalim, your food is getting cold.” Jamil sighed, folding up some of Kalim’s school shirts. 

“Sorry, Jamil. I’m not that hungry.” Kalim gazed out the window, halfheartedly stirring his cup of tea.

“It’ll be a waste if it goes off.”

Kalim was lost in thought, the familiarity of the situation somehow off putting. It had been one full day since Jamil’s attempted kidnapping, and one hour since Jamil had knocked on Kalim’s door, waking him up for the morning with breakfast in hand. Kalim wouldn’t lie, a part of him was absolutely thrilled to have Jamil back taking care of him. The longest week of Kalim’s life had come to a close, in theory it would be easy to simply return to their normal routine. After all, they would return to Night Raven in 2 days time- it would be better to go back to how they were. 

In the past, Kalim would gladly take this opportunity without a second glance. But now, knowing what he knew about how Jamil felt… Did he want to? Was a facade of subservience and friendship truly better than the truth? 

Kalim knew now that he didn’t have to work for most of the things in his life- they’d all been handed to him without his knowledge. He knew now that those achievements were frail and paper thin, and the happiness he had paraded was one of the fingers that had strangled Jamil’s freedom. Maybe if Kalim worked for the things he cared about just a little more, they wouldn’t disappear like an illusion in his grasp.

“Jamil?”

“What is it?” He didn’t look over, continuing to pack away Kalim’s clothes. Kalim took a breath, letting the spoon rest in his now cold tea.

“We need to talk.” Jamil halted his work.

“About?” 

Kalim stood, walking over to stand behind Jamil.

“All of…” Kalim gestured around, “This. Everything.” Us.

Jamil resumed, walking to Kalim’s closet and pulling out more of his uniforms, expertly avoiding eye contact.

“I suppose it was only a matter of time.” Kalim blinked.

“For what?”

“You know for what. Look, I’m not gonna tell you I’m sorry about what I did to you, because I’m not. School’s starting in a couple days anyways, and you’ll have forgotten all about my overblot-”

“Your overblot?”

Finally, Jamil turned to face him. 

“Obviously. Don’t worry, once we’re back at school we’ll go back to normal anyways, I’ll take care of everything.” Jamil rolled his eyes, but Kalim could tell he was hiding something. Kalim clenched his fists.

“No.”

“What?” He raised his eyebrow, looking incredulously at Kalim.

“No, I,” Kalim was overtaken by a resounding urge. Jamil, in all his genius, didn’t even know what Kalim was talking about. He had to make it clear now, no matter the consequences. 

“I don’t care about your overblot, Jamil! I mean- I care, I care about you, I care about how you were feeling so bad so quietly that you had no choice but to self destruct- but not in the way that maybe I should. I’m not- I haven’t been angry at you. I’m scared.” Kalim’s eyes welled up with tears, and he steadfastly ignored them.  

“It was bad enough to lose you as my closest friend. But the other night I almost lost you for real. All for what, because you have to protect me? Because I’m stupid and naive and all that other stuff you said? Because I’m an Asim?” Kalim’s chest heaved, and he brought his arm up to hide his face and avoid looking at Jamil’s. 

Jamil was silent, and Kalim didn’t want to imagine what sort of expression he was making. 

“What happened the other night wasn’t your fault. You know how those guys are, they could’ve gone after anyone. It’s all money to them.” Jamil’s voice was slow and steady, and Kalim tried to cling to it. 

“It was my fault, though! If people weren’t always coming after me, you would’ve been safe!” 

“You can’t help who you were born to, Kalim.” He chuckled humorlessly, “And neither can I.”

Maybe, at some point earlier in his life, Kalim would have accepted that. They were both simply filling their roles, an heir and a servant, both seemingly content with their positions. Kalim would eventually take over the family business with Jamil at his side, and maybe they could live in some sort of amicable facade with a want for nothing. But Kalim, given everything, wanted none of it.

“I would give up my name for you, Jamil. I would give up everything.” He took a step closer, forcing Jamil to look at him.

“I would give you everything.”

For once, Jamil looked at a loss for words. Silver eyes filled with an emotion that Kalim couldn’t quite read, and his lips parted as if he were going to speak. No sound came out, and Kalim looked away.

“I’m sorry.” Kalim spoke unnaturally quietly. “For everything.”

A moment passed, and Kalim began to turn away. Suddenly, Kalim felt himself pulled into a hug. Jamil brought him close, arms wound tightly around his back and waist. Kalim gasped softly, immediately relaxing with Jamil’s touch. He brought his arms around Jamil, and took the chance to listen to his heartbeat. When was the last time Jamil had hugged him, and not the other way around? Had it ever happened? Kalim didn’t know. 

“We’re not friends.” 

Kalim smiled weakly into Jamil’s chest in spite of himself.

“Ok.”

“I won't baby you anymore- you need to learn how to do things for yourself.”

“That’s fine.”

“But if what you said about us being rivals or equals or whatever is true, then you have a long way to go.”

Oh.

“You have a lot to learn if you want to even get close to catching up. I won’t hold back.” Then, quieter. “Guess I have to stick around to see if you can do it.”

Kalim smiled, and he felt more alive than he had in almost a week.

“I won’t let you down, Jamil.”

[rayshippouuchiha]

Hi Ray!

Idk if you're into phone games, but I'm pretty sure you're gonna LOVE this one: Disney Twisted Wonderland. It's a rythmic!fighting-based dark!anime-styled game that I discovered in the last few months and I'm sad I did not discover it earlier.

The plot. Oh my god the PLOT. It's the best thing I've ever seen and it wil drag you around by your heartstrings like nobody's business and you'll be happy about it. The angst, the funny dark comedy will light up your soul and consume it.

The characters are amazing, almost all of them are the "they're a fucking asshole but I love them anyway" (except for Kalim my beloved and my absolute fav, pure ray of sunshine that he is) type and their character designs are FABULOUS.

Also, the designs, the story and a couple more things were made by the woman who made Black Butler (Kuroshitsuji), so you know it's gonna be gold.

I definitely rec this to you, absolutely no hesitation (also I'd love someone to rant about my beloved Kalim and the delicious intricacies of JamiKali with lol)

oh absolutely yes

[driedupeyeballs]

30 for the twst ask thing!!

30. What’s your hottest Twst take?

Got a little out of hand here

Honestly idk if I have any hot takes I’m vanilla as fuck

Shipping Rugkali is my hottest take 😔 /j

Idk I’ll try??

Ok I’m like. The bigggest fucking Scarabia fan to an obnoxious degree and I am very passionate abt the fact that there was no villain in that arc and both kalim and Jamil were neither in the right nor in the wrong but I feel like that isn’t super controversial?? Also I could probably talk abt book four for multiple hours unending so let’s not open tjat can of worms

I do have some ship takes that would get me hung at the gallows by certain ppl tho like I do NOT like Leomal or jamikali rlly any rook ship (I don’t mind rookvil I actually kinda like it but anything else is HWEEh *chill runs down my body* but that may just be bcuz I don’t like rook-)

Is not liking rook a hot take?? I know I’m not the only rook hater in this shit. Ok I don’t hate him but like. HES WEIRD. HES WEIRD AND I DONT LIKE HIM. OR HIS HAIR

I DONT LIKE SEBEK EITHER THERES A TAKE

He has grown on me I will admit he has definitely grown on me (also I haven’t played book 7 yet) BUT unfortunately he is also annoying 💔

I got way off topic there but yeah ship takes I don’t get why Leomal and jamikali are like some of the most popular ships cuz like I love a good enemies/rivals to lovers just as much as the next guy but Leomal just… the vibes… the vibes are off

And don’t even get me STARTED on jamikali AAAA their dynamic is so interesting as like a non romantic thing and I am so fascinated by them I love fics of them that don’t ship them esp angst IF YOU HAVE ANY NON SHIP SCARABIA FIC RECS GIVE THEM TO ME IMMEDIATELY

OK WAIT I KNOW WHAT MY HOTTEST TAKE IS

I do not find Malleus particularly attractive. Like I love his character so much and he’s so like ack I wanna eat him and like. Have a long philosophical discussion w him and I definitely see the appeal w fanart n stuff but his canon design just doesn’t do it for me… idk why cuz like he doesn’t have any archetypes or design choices i dislike like generally I love long haired characters n like the tall dark and handsome type and horns n whatnot idk what it is abt him??? And even in some of his card arts I can see it like his broomquet groovy and he is OBJECTIVELY pretty jsut not like anymore than most of the other cast imo??? Maybe it’s just his live2d??? Idk idk I love malleus but I just don’t think he’s as hot as everyone considers him? Am I gonna be hung? Crucified? Idk. This was a rant and a half thanks for coming

[vanilla-poisons]

Yeah yeah Jamil resents Kalim but I wonder if at first or eventually he resents adults entirely for what happened to both of them. The first time Kalim was almost killed and was crying out in pain in his arms do you think Jamil screamed for the adults to help? Do you think for a bit any time both saw an adult that looked like the attacker they panicked internally? Do you think Jamil wanted to cuss out the adults for letting this happen to Kalim…to both them?

How dare anyone hurt the person closet to him? How dare the adults let this happen? How dare they let a 7 year old try to stop the bleeding out of another 7 year old? How dare they put the responsibility of life in the hands of children? How tragic it is for your protectors to ignore you and make you fend for yourself in a world you cannot survive alone…

IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

[atikal]

thought of a pretty nsfw scenario for jamikali and then turned it into weird angst and like im torn on sharing it on here or not??? Like I feel like i need to tell someone about this weird thing I thought up of but like idk?

[amxrany]

Rating My Favorite Twst Ships But Based On Their Stans

Once again this is all from personal experience based on what I see or who I've interacted with, which means this is my opinion, we may have differing opinions and I completely respect that

Check out this post first for more context

Mallekei

7/10

You guys are like rare to find here on tumblr but TWITTER THO

Loving the domesticity and sadness we got here 👌

Istg I love ya'll so much like ugh you're way too nice and keep the content going 💗

Once again if you ship this, let's be friends

SilSebe

6.5/10

Looking for SilSebe stans is like trying to find Waldo

Nearly impossible

But when I do find one, YA'LL ARE SO NICE AND THE CONTENT IS JUST 😍😍😍

I really want to talk about this ship to someone so like slide into my inbox if you like them too ✌

Had no choice but to make the score a bit low since I don't know much people who like these two 🙁

ADeuce

10/10

You guys are just chaotic, keep up the good work

I SWEAR YA'LL ARE FUNNY IT HURTS ME 😭

JamiKali

8/10

Now who tf hurt ya'll why is there so much angst with these two 🤨

LIKE SERIOUSLY STOP MAKING ME CRY EARLY IN THE MORNING WITH YOUR CONTENT

Which is why when I read angst of JamiKali angst, I look for the fluff after

BUT DON'T TAKE THIS PERSONALLY, KEEP GOING WITH THEM ANGST

SilKali

3/10

Some of the ppl I met who ship SilKali are like the sweetest angels who came down from heaven to bless me

Or just straight up the most terminally online and toxic people who ship this because it's one of the "least toxic" and "morally correct" ships in TWST like okay we understand you're boring 😒

DON'T TAKE WHAT I SAID PERSONALLY, I STILL LOVE MOST OF YA'LL BUT FOR THE TOXIC PEEPS 💀

I swear I've seen a lot of toxic people who ship SilKali and it hurts man

Which explains the low score, but I gave some mercy since there's still some good people out there

Will be doing the honorable mentions in a separate post cuz I don't want this to be too long