#john's autistic rambling

[forestshadow-wolf]

Soap stimming by repeatedly clicking his pen over and over because he's understimulated

And ghost who's about to smack the shit outta him because he's overstimulated

[johnsspacesuittight]

discovered the Sherlock and Co. podcast randomly on Spotify yesterday (hey sometimes the algorithm’s not so bad) and my god is it beautiful perfect everything to me, I mean Sherlock is my one definite special interest so it’s hard to go wrong with anything even adjacent to that, but when you then have Sherlock pretty immediately list all his diagnoses importantly including ADHD and Autism I was pretty much as happy as I can be, literally spent a good chunk of my final year of uni being frustrated at all the ways people elect to just not acknowledge Sherlock’s autism/variable diagnoses nor sexuality despite like clearly making choices about how to portray him/writing some very undeniable traits for him, so I don’t think I can even express just how much I enjoy canonically autistic Sherlock

[cross-101]

thinking about how grave would tease the fuck outta how 141 says missiles

Grave: Miss-EYELs

Soap: Ya, it's misseyels.

Graves: it's missels, you're literally insane.

Ghost: I'm British.

Graves: that's your problem boys! Y'all ain't 'merican! We can fix that real quic-

Price: that's enough.

[fandomkicks]

Need a band together show DESPRATELY bad so I can see the brothers interact with Bruce’s kids. They all want to be the favorite uncle very badly.

[eternalplutoniangoddess]

Homelander is autistic in my eyes, sincerely an autistic bitch.

[grievetherat]

I feel like rambling a bit about the Beatles; they have been my special interest for a while now but recently I've become especially hyperfixated.

I'm in college right now but my experience goes back to the 2010s when my father brought me trinkets from his trip to Liverpool some of which were Beatles-related. Living in a Eastern European country was a bit of a bleek experience as a child if you grew up being influenced by Western media. Being glued to the family computer or the TV, all I could do was admire the ways decade's leading up the the 21st century was shown in media, times which I was told were the darkest for my family (no electricity, no running water, the looming Soviet Union).

As such I was a yearning middle schooler, jealous of the Western world and their ability to create media that I admired. Don't get me wrong, I have gone back since then to realize even my home country had its charms and memorable breakthroughs in our culture of music or style but for me, as a kid being infatuated with the West, I was jealous of people who had their parents pass down cool records to them because they lived through the times when such music was popular, have access to merchandise or memorabilia, or the ability to visit certain historical places because I was worlds away from them.

As such I became fixated much of my teenagehood on the prospect of "what it could have been" for me, If I had the chance, I was basically a westernboo, I was chronically online most of the 2010s, exploring the emerging internet culture, the online sphere, youtube (because who else would have been the perfect subject to develop a parasocial relationship with British vloggers ahem dan&phil), but I also began to develop taste in music. As such it coincided with my father's visit to Liverpool, which fascinated me, the trinkets he had brought back along with the LOVE album CD, were mesmerizing. I mean I enjoyed my fair share of 2010s pop music, but by the end of that CD listen, needless to say, I became a pretentious prick.

To say I was interested in them is an understatement, I was obsessed; but I couldn't really explore my Beatles obsession with anyone my age so I paraded my hyperfixation to my father (a beatles fan, who took pride in me developing this interest) and the adults in my family, as simply an infatuation with the decades (the 60s-70s) to seem smart and sophisticated. They would praise me for being a history nerd and ask me to tell them fun facts about the Beatles which i pretended to simply comply with, but in reality, I just wanted an excuse to bring up the Beatles. Of course, those fun facts needed reading-up so i consumed as much reading material online (or from the few english history books my school library housed) as I could. I read of their contributions to music, their history, rock n roll, the pre-Beatles, post-breakup, their solo careers, the hippie counterculture everything ( i guess as much as a i could comprehend at them time lol) but most importantly, i read of John's tragic passing as well as the many articles, hypothesizing on 'what it could have been' for the Beatles.

My undiagnosed brain had melted at that one singular possibility.

Truly, in modern internet slang, the alleged/hypothesized Beatles reunion has been my Roman empire since the day I graduated middle school to today simply because I think of it every day at least twice. Eventually middle school obsession had matured into a primary interest, a personality trait, more of a "hello, I'm Nym, and I'm a big fan of the Beatles" and it would automatically tell the type of person I was. Only a few things after the Beatles had the same lasting effect on me (Gravity Falls as an example lol).

It also didn't help that I listen to them and their solo releases on the daily and that they're actually everywhere, being the greatest band in the world, but I think it's only in my tism brain that can't scratch that itch that makes my enjoyment of the Beatles such a surreal experience. Perhaps I could finally put it into words to give middle school me some sort of closure:

There has always been something so devastating to me about John's and George's passings. humans come and they go but for them it was abrupt, cruel; living in the 2020s now, there's something so poignant to me that begs the world why they never got to experience the next century to its full potential.

We knew the Beatles were over in 1980, the tale isn't as obscure as the Roman Empire because it feels like it has only just happened, it's part of modern popculture right? And yet we live in the 3rd decade of the 21st century, completely shifting the perspective to a type of lingering wound from such a long time ago that it never really heals anymore.

At the time, I had told this to my mother, how it bothered me so much. She had assumed I had realized the concept of sudden death and become afraid of it, and to her credit, she had tried her best to help me 'overcome it' as well, but it was never death that bothered me, it was the unfairness, the lack of closure and I guess the bittersweetness that lingers with me every time I turn on a Beatles song.

Being a Beatles fan has been a surreal experience really; I believed this weird, almost para-sociality with the closure that never came that I yearned for so long as a middle schooler would dissipate over time and I could enjoy the Beatles legacy as every other adult had around me, enjoy a fun fact now and then, get a trinket from a trip. I never really achieved that, I'm in college and they still essentially function for me as the fall of the Roman Empire. Especially with the release of Get Back a year or two ago and Now and Then, it's essentially gotten worse. Sometimes I can't bear to think about it anymore and sometimes I can't help but reminisce on what it could have been.

Anyways, I still treasure them in such a weird way, I think it takes a lot for a human tale with all its flaws to be this compellingly tragic and bittersweet to keep up a gen z college student at night over half a century later. Idk

[nato-obenkrieger]

the black suits possibly the most autistic band ever. except for john he just has adhd. but everyone else. im shooting them with my autism beam. nato and chris especially

[pnrp1echa1k]

I am going to post more yaoi content whether or not my only writing ability is to express story through art like a storybook, Im gonna start rlly simple so sorry if it’s weird sounding it’s like 1 am LMAO

Me and my partner make SO many aus with Cyrus and John but this is the MOST developed.

Praise the Sun, which is just a swap au basically. John becomes the leader of Team Galactic and Cyrus becomes a priest.

I imagine they were probably roommates in college, since priests need at least a bachelor’s degree in order to become an actual priest. Sinnoh being. well. Literally the home of pokemon god so.

Cyrus finds faith in Arceus and John decides to not be a priest.

They split. Cyrus going to Unova probably, John staying in Sinnoh.

Molly is also here! I guess only for a plot device tho. She and John get married and later divorced. (Like in canon LMAO)

Really funny to me, the divorce is what made John spiral into forming Team Galactic. Calling up Lisa to join him, to which she is named “Earth”.

He names himself “AMARIS” (sun and moon parallels….explosio) Amaris now stating that the man “John Ward” is dead.

There is multiple endings to this au. All of which include Cyrus coming back to Sinnoh to find John after the events of FAITH. Only to find him in the Distortion World. (I would imagine that adventure would look like that secret fan game in the FAITH files. Actually! I made art for the high score screen of it for PtS! It’s old idk if I should post it lol)

This au also connects to my pokefaith au I’ve posted a few times. But not really, I do think Gary is still here.

They are very silly to me but also a little bit toxic yaoi. Poor things.

[bi-moonlight]

it's been a year since i cut off my hair like short short and with undercut

and in the duration of said year i realised I'm non-binary (agender) and that I'm autistic and have been going through all parts of identity development journey ahah

ahah is a weird way to put it - at first it was relief and giddiness of finally having explanation for so many things and having words and community and wanting to learn more and more , then, or rather, at the same time , it's realising all the not so bright aspects, getting angry, frustrated because of hermeneutical injustice and what it robbed you of and because of how society is built and is reluctant to change, and all the while getting overwhelmed and trying to distance yourself for some time and failing cause you have already integrated it all on social media so there's no escape from news, reading a ton of books and trying your best to get yourself all the accommodations needed all the changes needed and in this whirl forgetting that it requires money and therefore time and that actually change is hard for you ahah

now though, now i am aware that I'm feeling gender creativity again and having fun playing with it, now I'm trying to plan on getting the accommodations i need without hopeless panic strangling me

it's a neverending journey ofc, but i came a long way in one year, so I'm proud of myself, and so grateful for all the online communities and books and people

[asleepmottley]

I need less buff and mysterious that sounds like he could be from anywhere in England except any place with a strong accent John Constantine. I want, like, he hits 25 and his metabolism slows so he gains a bit of weight and starts to jokingly complain about it, but he doesn't care as much as he would have if he was still front man of his old band. I want that he stands on the edge of a street on a windy and cold day, eyes squinting and trench coat folded around him by his crossed arms. I want him to have thick scouse accent because living in London is becoming too expensive and he's moved up north. I want to see him get into tousles with skinheads and such like he did in the 80s comics. I miss the piercings he had in the original 80s comics. I want his horrible circumstances of birth back, the political messages to do with the problems with the current time Britain. I want him to be with more men, it could just be fun romps and flings like the women in the original. I want to see more of Chas's family, like his wife and daughter. I want see his sister and niece. I want to see him go to Liverpool football club games. I want to see him slightly more casual at home, wearing stuff like a slightly stained LFC shirt and maybe a pair of blue jeans. I want to see him do a little conning, some scamming, making gullible and power-hungry richer people shitty magical items for ridiculous prices. I want to see his working class struggles, to see him in a shitty little rented flat with leaky appliances and such and heating that doesn't work reliably. I want to see him get absolutely fucking hammered at the pub. I want him to have the yellowed teeth that smokers have. I want people to remember his little scar, the huge and detailed back tattoo and the pine tree tattoo on his bum. I want him to be cheeky, smug and fun, but I want him to be caring, unconsciously self-destructive and riddled with guilt from past horrible mistakes and situations.

At some point, I'll probably just do it myself. No guarantee though.

[forestshadow-wolf]

The tots/fry saga continues

@rainerestored I have nothing to say for myself. The tags are my argument... also yes I did have this conversation irl

Price, walking into the room: BREAKFAST EVERYONE! I got dunkie's

Ghost, the first to arrive: hashbrowns?

Price: *silently handing over a 2 sleves of dunkin' donuts hashbrowns*

Ghost: YES!

Soap: wha- bu-

Soap: how is that ANY different from tater tots!

Ghost, around a mouthful of hashbrowns: because they don't false advertise as fry adjacent!

Ghost: it's DIFFERENT!

[arborescreens-a]

EEK EEK ABORT MISSION. THE TEENAGERS ARE MOVING INTO OUR HOUSE TOMORROW.

[agirlwithmagicpals]

Prince Naugus the second/nole: has anxiety issues and semi masks his autism but only when other villains or strangers are around except Judas and has a strong sense of empathy for those he cares about

Judas: may be Geoffrey’s son but he still has undiagnosed ocd and has a superiority complex that only naugus is aware of

[starsofang]

simon riley x autistic!reader requested by anon! <3 tw: none!

When a certain John Price had recruited you under his own jurisdiction, you were cautious yet excited to be joining a new task force. It was an opportunity you simply couldn’t pass up, and you’d be insane to say no. Price had promised you would fill in the gap that seemed to be missing from their team, and for the most part, he was absolutely correct.

Gaz and Johnny were the most welcoming in the beginning. Price was more the serious type with an occasional bad joke here and then, but all in all, everybody approved of you and had your back so long as you had theirs.

None of them seemed to mind when you’d have days where you’d be talkative on one, and quiet the next. They’d listen to your passionate ramblings on specific topics, or they’d allow you to sit in comfortable silence if they knew you needed it.

There was one person in particular who didn’t seem quite fond of you, and that would be Ghost – or Simon, as Johnny called him on occasion. It wasn’t that he didn’t seem to like you, no. He just seemed distant, purposefully keeping you at an arm’s length and only acknowledging you when necessary.

Johnny had told you not to worry about it, that he’d come around eventually. Simon was impartial to new people and it took him a while to open up.

You did notice, though, that Simon was someone who stared. One too many times, you’d catch those brooding eyes boring into you, as if trying to puzzle you together and figure out where the pieces fit. It would always cause a bit of anxiety to well in you when you’d find his eyes across the room, already locked in on you, and you would find yourself avoiding his stare as soon as you felt it.

It wasn’t until a particular mission had gone bad that you completely shut down. In the presence of your new task force, you had successfully masked yourself as much as possible. But now, when Johnny had nearly been killed, all due to an error in your own judgment, that mask was slipping off and you needed time to let it crumble on your own.

You thought that was all you needed – time. But time proved fruitless as you spent the next few days on lockdown, avoiding all conversation and interaction. Your eyes would stray to the ground, or you’d find yourself staring blankly at the walls of the mess hall with your nails picking at the skin around them from beneath the table.

You didn’t think anybody noticed. After all, everybody was on edge and decompressing from the failed mission, and they didn’t have the focus to see your mind eating you up.

Simon did, though.

He’d seen all the signs, from the way you picked at your nails, to the way you’d consistently tuck your hair behind your ear, even if it was already tucked, and to the way you’d tap your foot along the ground in a repetitive motion, leg bouncing wildly underneath the table during breakfast or debriefs.

At first, none of it made sense to him. He thought it was simple signs of anxiety, and for that, he truly thought that if one bad massion made you close up this much, you wouldn’t last long enough to see a second one. But when he returned to his quarters and searched up all of your stims that he’d taken mental notes of over the course of the week, things clicked.

He didn’t know much about autism. To his embarrassment, you were the first person with autism that he’d actively been around on a daily basis. Everything he’d seen made complete sense, and that last puzzle piece he was trying so hard to fit seemed to fall right into place.

Simon took it upon himself to educate himself. He, too, had his own struggles that not many people had an understanding of, and now that he knew what made sense, he didn’t want you to continue hiding yourself away for the sake of the rest of the team.

It started off small.

When Simon would notice you picking at your fingernails, he’d place a large hand over yours to stop you without sparing a glance in your direction. If he wasn’t there to stop you, he’d silently wrap your fingers up in cute bandages he purchased himself, because he noticed you liked them more than the typical brown ones.

If he noticed you zone out and lose a piece of yourself, where your eyes would find the walls and focus in on them as if they were the most interesting thing in the world, he’d gently grab your shoulder with means to snap you out of it and remind you that he was there with you.

At first, you were surprised when Simon began showing you these subtle signs of companionship. He hadn’t shown any interest in you up until this point, but as time went on, you found yourself actively seeking out that safe space that Simon was slowly building for you.

You crawled your way out of that hole you found yourself in and began returning to normalcy; except now, you didn’t feel you had to mask all the time.

When you returned to your rambling moments, your hand would subconsciously find its way to Simon’s, grasping and fiddling with his fingers while you spoke. He’d never pull his hand away, and instead, he’d sit there quietly with his full attention on you, eyes soft and affectionate from beneath his mask.

Often times, when he’d head to the mess hall to grab a snack or a drink for himself, he began to bring you something back as well – cookies, chips, you name it. If he knew you liked it, he’d snag a couple of whatever it was and place it in front of you without a word (and would absolutely ignore Johnny’s childish whines of how he never did that for him).

This back and forth between the two of you didn’t go unnoticed, and when Gaz nudged Johnny when the three of them sat in the debrief room together, claiming that Simon had a crush, he didn’t blatantly deny it.

Simon wasn’t sure what it was he felt for you. He wanted to see you happy, that he knew for sure, but when Gaz and Johnny continued to feed into their teasing remarks, he was beginning to think that, okay, yeah, maybe he had a bit of a crush.

It took him months to even proclaim this confession to you. He didn’t want to overwhelm you, or god forbid you didn’t feel the same way, didn’t want you to close up on him like you had with others before. Being your safe space was something he took pride in, and for a man who had no knowledge months ago on how to approach you in a way that showed he understood, he didn’t want to ruin that.

That wasn’t at all what happened, though. When he had the gall to tell you, you were practically bursting at the seams. Hands moving wildly, feet causing you to bounce with excitement as you eagerly confessed your own feelings for him. He was scared your lips were crack open from how widely you were smiling and babbling on about your affection.

And when he had the chance to kiss you? He did it with so much tenderness, keeping it as gentle as possible, hands only cupping your cheeks when you told him it was okay.

You had never met someone who was so passionate about you, that they’d learn everything about you. He knew your quirks, your hyperfixations, your interests, your stims. He knew more about you than he did himself at this point.

To have somebody cherish you in such a way that they’d go that far for you, even when they themselves aren’t partial to getting attached to people, it was all Simon ever hoped to make you feel, and it was all you ever wanted to feel understood and accepted.

Simon would happily assure you of that any day.

—

thank u for this idea anon!! i really hope it lived up to your standards, i tried to make it as accurate as possible while trying not to make the stims too specific and detailed since i know many people have different ones and that autism is not linear! <3 please enjoy fluffy simon because he’s my favorite

[a-strawbebie]

if your tutorial for how to do smth is condescending esp if its simple youre going to burn in hell ill make sure you go there myself and you better not hope if i end up there that you meet me

[chiisana-sukima]

nine people i want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.

Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.

Fave color: Purple

Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery

Last movie: Knives Out

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty

Relationship: married x 27 years

Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".

Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.

@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.

Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.

I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.

If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.

Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.

Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop

@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.