#just clarification

[black-butler-meta]

Expanding on my last post about BOC…

Recently there was a post that was obviously related to what I recently wrote regarding the PTSD scene in Book of Circus. That person chose to make their own (not so) vague post rather than communicating directly via the ask box or a reblog, so I’m not going to reblog it because I’m guessing they don’t want to interact with me (totally fine, btw).

But I do want to make a new post to clarify what I apparently did not communicate correctly before, in case others are curious for a response.

First and foremost, I actually DO understand PTSD. I have a history of CSA and child abuse that persisted across multiple years, and it most definitely is an important part of who I am, and something I am still working through. So please refrain from making accusations about a stranger online just because you’re upset.

Now, about the post….

When I was describing the discomfort I felt between Sebastian and Ciel during the PTSD scene, I was not doing so as a generalization of “this is how their dynamic always is” and “their relationship can only be toxic/bad,” etc. I was only referring to that scene specifically. The discomfort I spoke of was referring to the viewer (which is subjective - I never said it wasn’t), not to the characters’ relationship.

It felt uncomfortable because of the contrast between Sebastian’s manipulative, predatory nature (which was very soothing and calming) and Ciel’s fragile mental state, emphasized by his regression in response to trauma. It’s about finding (as the viewer) Sebastian’s sensual actions arousing contrasted with Ciel’s obvious suffering that makes the scene have an underlying layer of unease. The dichotomy of arousal and discomfort would be there as well if Ciel were an adult, because the manipulation is the same. BUT, the discomfort is worsened because in this moment, Ciel’s behavior is more childlike than the way he usually is. It’s not to make Sebastian out as a pedophile/groomer, but to show Ciel at his most weakest, and Sebastian is taking that opportunity to push him over the edge into violence. Additionally, Ciel’s childness is also there to remind us that he’s not out of his trauma yet; that, in many ways, it’s still ongoing for him.

Of course not everyone has that reaction to the scene… maybe others find it protective, which I can also see those undertones, especially when Sebastian carries Ciel while fulfilling his orders, instead of simply leaving him on the floor by himself. Maybe there are those that find it romantic, a white night coming to save. I personally don’t, but if you do, then good for you! We can agree to disagree and leave it at that. I’m not here to cast moral judgment on others over fictional characters, and I’m not here to speak for everyone. These analyses are simply my own and so it’s about how the message comes across to me.

I had never said that Ciel didn’t find comfort in Sebastian. In fact, it’s the very reason that he finds comfort in him that Sebastian’s tender approach worked, and got Ciel to finally open his eyes and give him the orders that he wanted. But I did find the lip touch to be something that felt out of place, more the indulgence of a hungry demon inspecting his future meal rather than something done to console, and Ciel’s lack of reaction to it demonstrated how far gone he was in his panic attack. Yes, Ciel allows Sebastian to dress him, bathe him, carry him, etc.; but he also at times expresses boundaries either through body language (frowning, pulling back slightly) or verbal protest (e.g., when Sebastian tried to spoon feed him). Just because Ciel lets him care for him in some ways, doesn’t mean he’d give Sebastian a free pass to touch him in other, more intimate ways outside of his butler duties. That was why that moment felt unnerving.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that their relationship is largely positive. I wouldn’t call it entirely negative, either. In actuality, I would describe it as complex. Sebastian, first and foremost, is a demon and his purpose is to cultivate Ciel’s soul. Yana herself has described him as elite trash, hyper-narcissistic, and that he enjoys seeing Ciel struggle. And it’s because of this characterization that it’s so interesting to see Sebastian slowly evolve into someone who does care. There are absolutely clues of him learning to “care” in his own weird way. He’s been shown to be protective, and will do kindnesses that he doesn’t have to do, for Ciel and others, and worry when Ciel is in danger that seems to go beyond losing his meal. These glimpses contrasted with scenes where his demon side really comes through is what makes him such an interesting character to begin with.

Yes, in a strange way Sebastian is helping Ciel heal, but it’s in a warped sort of way, like a broken bone that never gets set properly and heals wrong. Sebastian’s goal isn’t to truly heal Ciel; it’s to help him complete his vengeance and ripen his damaged soul in preparation for eating. And yes, he’s likely going to grow attached to it by the end of it, which will make the act that much more personal and meaningful if/when it does happen.

The entire thing is complicated, dark, beautiful, and yes, in some ways toxic. The discomfort is there (for the viewer - or at least some of us), and that’s okay. It’s literally a part of dark fantasy, and, if you want to go there, dark romance. It’s the moral ambiguity of decisions and motivations, that blurring of lines between good and evil, and finding comfort in darkness and violence. If that discomfort wasn’t there, then the story wouldn’t be what it is. It wouldn’t be Black Butler at all.

[taiwanism]

england hetalia is a cis straight male and is not attracted to men

[conspicuous-clown-car]

oops..?

[gertritude-art]

HEARTBREAKING: local food blogger thinks it's funny to put on a rude persona in their recipe videos

[iamthe-walnut]

Adam redesign from Hazbin Hotel for fun. I hated this guy in the first episode but he rlly grew on me over time and became my 2nd favorite character. I wish he had more screentime, he had so much story potential, from his lore with being the first man and the his relationships with other characters. We could have had it all �� Hazbin hotel is good...but the pacing is rlly my main issue

I made a redesign cuz I wasn't rlly vibing with the fact that he looks like a demon and swears alot even tho he's suppose to be an angel. I think you can be more subtle with the idea that "heaven or angels are hypocrites" rather than making them act exactly like the demons🤷‍♀️ So in my reimagining, yeah he doesn't look like a demon but a priest/bishop vibe, he's still a misogynistic asshole and can either be upfront or backhanded with it depending on his mood. He doesn't swear but rather uses other more family friendly words to replace swear words but when he's pissed he won't care about censoring himself anymore.

I'm gonna do Lute next but that's it.

[ghostbsuter]

"Quick!" A- a girl? Wraps their arm around Steph's own, dragging her close and shielding their own face. Their eyebrows are knitted together, they're biting their lip.

"Pretend we're out together please– there are some creepy people following me for some time."

Steph's eyes narrow, she scoots closer, practically glueing herself to the strangers side and smiling brightly.

"Gosh," she starts, then lowers her voice, "what should I call you?"

They fumble for a moment too long, and Steph takes a leap of faith.

The blond grins. "It's been so long since we met up again, isn't it, Beatrice!"

The stranger plays along, giggling behind their hand. "I'm sorry, you know I've been terribly busy," they raise an eyebrow at steph, asking for her name silently.

"Agnes," she whispers, and they repeat. "Agnes! My cats have been missing you too, you should come over more."

"I will, I will," Steph promises, peering behind her to watch out, and just like her new friend warned her, there were some weirdos in white lab coats and some in suits walking around, searching.

"Thank you." 'Beatrice' whispers as they walk around a building, leaving the place in the dust.

"No problem." Steph replies with a smile.

They separate once far enough, and 'beatrice' fiddles with something before handing it to her.

"My number," 'beatrice' explains at the bewildered look. "You're pretty cool, I thought– maybe you'd like to stay in contact?"

"Yes!" She jumps at the opportunity, taking the number with care and getting out her phone.

"My name is Danny, He/him." they speak in low tones, steph following right by their side as they continue.

"Steph, She/Her." She shoots him a quick wink before sending a text and hearing the sound of Danny's notification ping.

"I gotta go now. It was really nice to meet you, steph."

"A joy for me as well."

[eyeballsoup7310]

“We need more morally grey female characters” we absolutely do but some of y’all can’t even handle Vanessa afton

[tiffycat]

Local Gothamite meets Superboy totally for the first time ever... totally

(Pt2 , Pt3)

[bonesandthebees]

hearing a youtuber I used to watch all the way back in 2017 read out the title of my fic in a video was not how I expected to start my day today

[partlyironic]

hey guys. remember this.

[saltcosmos]

gabv1el hc and v4v piece i'll probably never finish

[taiwanism]

nihao china is the worst character song in hetalia

[ruporas]

asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)

[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.

The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.

Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."

A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]

[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]

[doorhine]

May 18, 2024

[alpacacare-archive]

Not enough joy and light today. Time for silly dadster and papyrus 🙏

Bonus: