#just like in general i dont have any visions of my future

[skunkes]

I guess in some ways having a life that is very small and dark has its benefits especially when one finally gets to lay in a sunbeam (⬅️ saying this as a step down from "getting to step into the light", which is the metaphor i was Gonna use but i havent stepped into the light yet/its been minimal...so sunbeam)

Like...im in persistent unending agony but every little small thing is a joy now that im finally getting to experience a bigger variety of little small things

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

[dnftopia]

dnf + guilty as sin lyric analysis (delusional version)

I was validated by 1 anon so Now i need to do this. Its very crazy (WARNING!)

My boredom's blown deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry?

this part is soooo pre-meetup dnf. "my boredom's blown deep / this cage was once just fine" reflects so much on both of them -- dream having to watch all his friends meet george from across the world while being stuck in his house for years, and george being bored in london while also barely leaving his flat.

their cage was "once just fine" because we know that before they realized that they wanted to live together and just wanted george to visit, they were fine being across an ocean. But once the visa application started they expressed pretty clearly how much it affected their mental health to be apart from each other -- hence "am i allowed to cry"

I dream of cracking locks Throwing my life to the Wolves or the ocean rocks Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox I'm seeing visions, never mad or bad or wise

"i dream of cracking locks" might as well be a metaphor for the visa aka their lock to the door keeping them apart. and "throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks" is clearly a metaphor for controversy or the general public (the wolves). at the same time dnf are apart they're also becoming increasingly famous, dealing with newfound controversy and criticism.

"crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox" -- use of the word paradox makes me feel like there's some differing use in the meaning of the word "crashing". like the painful feeling of crashing against ocean rocks (controversy) versus crashing against him being comforting (dnf relying on each other for support and love). and "i'm seeing visions" -- wanting to be with each other sooo badly it encroaches on both their waking thoughts and their dreams

What if he's written mine on my upper thigh only in my mind One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh what a way to die

this is pretty clearly a "what if my feelings are unrequited" type thing to me. what if i'm his but he doesn't see me as his? one slip (i.e. a slip of the tongue revealing too much of their inner feelings) could ruin everything. Which like. in any friends to lovers relationship i feel that's a very real fear

I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss

do i have to say anyhting for this one WE KNOW DREAM THOUGHT ABOUT KISSING GEORGE. MULTIPLE TIMES

How I long for our tryst Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin?

yeahhh more pre-meetup dnf longing for their eventual meeting. without ever meeting each other, and without george ever seeing dream's face, somehow they still want each other

I keep thesе belongings locked In lower casе inside a vault Someone told me, "There's no such thing as bad fights, only your actions talk" These fatal fantasies given way to labored breath taking all of me

they keep their feelings locked up Ohh my dnfies. "there's no such thing as bad fights, only your actions talk" is like an actions matter more than words thing or alternatively could be flipping the saying "keep fighting the good fight" on its head a bit. again "fatal fantasies" of what could be post-meetup consume both of them so fully it's difficult to focus on anything else

We've already done it in my head If it's make believe Why does it feel like a vow? We'll fold apart somehow

THIS ONEEE. "we've already done it in my head ... / why does it feel like a vow?" Like come on. we know dnf have had many conversations about their future together and they're both fully committed to staying together as long as they can. the question for them is whether the other person feels that platonically or romantically

My bed sheets are a blaze I screamed his name Building up like waves crashing over my grave Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin?

Yeahh. dont need to go into detail on this one because we all get it. #DNFESEX!

What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway

aside from the Dresus comparisons. "rolling the stone away" in the context of christianity symbolizes rebirth and an intrinsic change. To me it could be seen as a metaphor for coming out publicly . "they're gonna crucify me anyway" -- we literally saw this happen with dream in real time. he doesn't come out and he's accused of queerbaiting, he comes out and people invalidate him and call him names LIKE. This hurts me

What if the way you hold is actually what's holy? If long suffering propriety is what they want from me They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly I choose you and me, religiously

even if they face vitriol and public scrutiny DNF WILL ALWAYS CHOOSE EACH OTHER TO THE POINT OF RELIGION!

Thats it the end. Thanks for reading peace and love Please support me and my crazyisms

[mammonsturtle]

Oh Baby! Brother’s Aftermath

A/N : So I wasn’t planning on making this into a series but I figured I’d do the brother’s reflections and perhaps the last part where they try to reconcile with Fem!MC. This fic will be written differently in the brother’s perspective if the child is their’s.

A/N pt2 : This might not be written as well as I’d like as you can tell from the various ways I’ve written the brothers. But I am burnt out on writing in the replaced!AU so a definitive ending will probably not be out. Maybe in the future, but I can’t promise anyone anything.

Best to read my fic Oh Baby! to get some backstory to this.

@underratedbitch-number13 @dont-ask-me-pls @sufzku

**​CW: general angst, parental abandonment, unhealthy coping habits(?) **

Having been banished by Lord Diavolo from ever seeing you and their child again, the brothers had silently returned back to the House of Lamentation where they were forced to face the reality of their actions.

You were gone, and your child was gone as well. And it was their fault for not catching onto the charm of Maura, no doubt learning the best from the Great Witch Maddi. They had been so easily charmed and believing that Maura’s baby was theirs, and you, out of jealousy had proclaimed you were pregnant as theirs as well.

You had been nothing but honest, you had held onto hope that the demons you loved would have believed you. Yet the brothers had easily evicted you in favor of the witch. And they had moved on as if you didn’t exist. The last they saw of you was your pained look and the upsetting cries of their baby were etched into their memories.

Scattered across the house were various things for the baby: baby supplies, books, clothes, toys, and in a cruel twist, they had turned your room into the nursery for Maura’s baby. The gifts they had once given you, had been tossed out and a group photo of you and the boys had been smashed on the ground. 

He couldn’t remember how that night went down, he could only guess that you were desperate for any affection from him, and that was how his child came to be.

And now they had to face the music and pick up the pieces.

Lucifer

Being the eldest and the most powerful of the seven brothers, he should have seen this and prevented it ever happening. Yet again, he had failed someone he loved. And as with Lilith, he couldn’t ever see you nor his child, and be a family once more.

Fuck. The Great Maddi

She had gotten him this time, this was her plan all along. The witches knew how close you were close to the Avatars, of course they would do anything to tear you apart. How could he not figure it out sooner before it got out of hand?

He should have payed more attention to how one by one his brothers had been deserting you, before he fell under the same spell as well.

He instructed his brothers to clear your room of the baby supplies, if anyone was up to it. Mammon could take them all back and sell them if he wanted, or Asmo could drop them off to the neighborhood children who wanted them.

He just wanted them out.

Sealing his room with a spell and soundproofing it as well, Lucifer drags his feet to his cursed record collection. Picking out the album that he was searching for, he blows the dust from it and sets it in the record player.

Pouring himself a glass of demonus, he sat down in your favorite chair where you had watched him work. The soft melodies fill the room as Lucifer swirls the liquid around and his vision starts to blur. The record was the same one when you both danced around in his office as a much needed break from his paperwork.

The song feels more hollow to him now.

How could he have forgotten how terrified you looked as you held his child? They had his eyes, trembling ruby red eyes that had gazed upon himself and his brothers. He couldn’t fathom the pain you had gone through without him and his brothers.

His literal pride and joy was stolen away because he hadn’t been quick enough to catch onto the way his brothers, one by one had betrayed and strayed from you. He could only imagine how you and his child was living your lives now without him.

There was no way he could compete with the life that Diavolo had given you and his child, you were basically living with royalty. Everything you and your child wanted and needed was there in a snap of a finger. Barbatos was considered his equal as well, so how could he compete with them both? You and his child were very much set for life.

And great devils, the angels had occupied your life, as well as his child. Surely they’d have an influence on his child, for the worse. Especially that damned chihuahua. Would he and Simeon speak ill of him and his brothers for what they did to you?

And Solomon? On the surface, he’d teach his little one spells and magic and since you were still his apprentice, he’d still be close to you. An awful thought came to him. That he would use his child as leverage to make a pact with him.

He had been a less than stellar parental figure to Satan, and in some ways hadn’t been the best older brother to the rest of his family. But being unable to be there for his child, and for you, it might have been akin to losing you a second time.

But he would never have wanted to be a horrible father. He had tried to distance the one who threw him and his brothers out of Heaven for opposing him. Would you have instill the fact that he was a truly terrible father to his child? 

He knew he and his brothers hurt and neglected you for the past months, and he knew that you would not forgive them so easily for the pain they had inflicted upon you and your child. 

As the record comes to its conclusion, he goes back to put the record on. 

Lucifer shakes his head as he grabs the bottle of demonus as such foolish thoughts wouldn’t gotten under his skin so easily. He proceeds to drink the entire bottle and wallow in his sorrow once more.

His pride wouldn’t have mattered if it meant losing you and his baby in the process. He would do what it took to find a way back to your heart. He would beg, plead, fall to his knees, if it meant you both would come back to him.

Mammon

Mammon, surprisingly was the first to get to work on your room. He had gotten a head start on disposing of Maura’s things, throwing out all the baby supplies and trying to get your room back to how it was before. 

Perhaps he’d sell them right after this, it was the most logical thing he’d do. It was probably what his brothers’ figured as it was him who bought nothing but the most expensive and flashy things for her and her baby.

He’d want to sell these awful reminders so he could buy you and his child the best of the best of course. But that moment was gone, you both were. Laying on your bed, he lets the tears fall as he tried to inhale any trace of you. But couldn’t smell a trace of your existence here. He knew why of course.

And it was his own damn fault.

He was your first man, he should have been protecting you from what Maura had planned. Yet he was the first one to fall under her charms. Of course she knew what words to say to sway him in her favor, and how to isolate him from you.

Damn his greed to feel needed and depended on.

Finding the smashed photo of you and the family, his eyes started to water. The moment he saw the little carbon copy of himself in your arms, with the same trembling ocean blue eyes gazing upon him. He could had easily seen himself in his kid’s eyes and it was like a stab to his heart.

He vividly remembers the fear in your eyes from the brothers suddenly appearing once they found out Maura’s baby wasn’t any of their’s. He remembers how it was him who outright rejected your baby. How he wanted to take those words back.

Why would you want him back? Or any of his brothers back?

Even if you wanted them back, how in the Devildom was he supposed to compete with the life you had now? You had everything you wanted and needed with Diavolo and Barbatos. He could hardly keep his greed in hold. How the hell was he supposed to provide for you and his kid?

Not to mention you had the Angels and Solomon by your side, were they going to tell his kid that he was the Avatar of Greed? A lowlife scumbag of an Avatar who did anything and everything for money at the expense of others? That his greed would bring harm to you and his kid?

You had made your point as they all had stepped up while he and his brothers shipped out. You had the best of the best now, why would you go back with him and his brothers?

As soon as he places the photo back to its spot, Mammon had sorted all the things he’d sell off, until your room was back to what it was before. Trudging over to the familiarity of your bed, he collapses as he starts to cry quietly.

His tears are soaked onto your pillow, he could only wish you were here with him. To hold him and to comfort him whenever he had a bad day with his brothers or the witches gave him a hard time. You had always been there for him.

Your unconditional love and kindness was something he had been greedy for in a long time. You were the best thing in his life and he so easily lost it as if it was another day at the casinos.

He wanted to be your first man again and he wanted to be in his kid’s life. All the grimm and treasures in the Devildom could never amount to the love you’ve given him. Nor could it buy the unconditional love his kid would have given him either.  

He wanted to give the world to you both, you deserved it after all that you had went through on your own. He wanted to be your protector once again, and he would be the protector his kid as well. 

You were both the most precious treasures in the three realms, and no other valuables or riches could compare to. He swore by his father’s name, he’d fight his greed to be there for you and his kid. However long it’d take, he’d make things right by you and his kid.

Leviathan

This was like that anime, ‘I Got My Girlfriend Pregnant But A Witch Interfered And I Abandoned Her But She Had My Baby!” Levi was sure you and him watched that during his anime marathon ages ago. You joked how silly it was and it’d never happen, but here you were.

It was hard for him to wrap his head around the fact that he and yourself had done the deed. That charm must have stirred some courage in him if you both ended spending the night together, and that night had resulted in his little spawn being conceived.

He could see the fear in tiny citrus eyes that stared back at him, his own little spawn afraid of him of all people. He had never felt the want and need to have something as precious as them.

He had retreated back into his room as he had sunk into his bedtub, left to wallow in his misery. He had finished at his pace on removing the unnecessary baby supplies from your room. It was disgusting that he had burned through his Akuzon account to spend on Maura. 

All the anime, especially Ruri-chan baby clothes and baby supplies were hard for him to let go of it. Being a devoted fan to his Ruri wasn’t as satisfying as to him now that he realized that being devoted to you and his child. At least he wanted to know the feeling of being one, if you’d let him.

All he wanted was his best friend back in his life again. 

He was the second to fall for Maura’s charms seeing how she played with his envy. She had convinced him that you’d never want to hang with a filthy otaku like himself, and that she ‘got’ him. She became his irrational thoughts come true when you couldn’t make time with him and he had cursed his sin for winning over your words.

He already knew he couldn’t compete with Diavolo and Barbatos as he was just lowly otaku. And the Purgatory Trio were able to care for you and your child without any commitment to lifelong anime and gaming. They were able to be there for you, unlike him.

He still had power as the Admiral of the Devildom Navy, but even that position would keep him away from you and his child if he was still on duty. Admiral or committed otaku. How could he devote a life with you and his child and still have both of the worlds he held?

It hit him now.

Would you want yourself and your child to be a part of his double lifestyle? He knew you probably wouldn’t if he was committed to those interests rather than his own flesh and blood and the only friend he had. He’d never be there and he’d choose his interests over you and the baby.

Would you have felt disappointed and disgust at the thought of him being jealous over all the time and attention you were giving to the baby instead of giving time for him and his wants and needs?

No.

You were the only true friend he had in his entire existence, and he wasn’t going to let you slip out his hands. Nor was he going to be like his father and throw out his children when they were against him.

Like the determined protagonist, he was going to do what was right. He was dishonoring the otaku code as he had sealed the return packaging for Akuzon returns and sent them out. He didn’t want to tie these disgusting reminders of Maura to his child. He would do better. For you, and his child. He wanted his best friend back in his life. 

What was the point of going back to his old life if weren’t there with him?

Satan

Satan’s first instinct was to wreck the entire house as it was where everything had gone to shit. Yet it would mean a part of you would have to go as well. Satan returns to your room, cat themed baby supplies, toys, and books sat, all from him.

Like Lucifer, he should have caught on sooner on what was going on as the brothers, one by one were falling for her charms and abandoning you. Perhaps the comment of learning from the Great Maddi was something he should have been more attentive.

Accursed witches.

“1...2...3...” Satan attempts to calm himself as he couldn’t find it in him to tear these items to shreds without leaving your room as a warzone. He had lost you already, he didn’t want to lose his child as well. If you two had ever decided to come back to them.

The night was a haze as he couldn’t remember anything, but as soon as he saw his child, staring back at him with those vibrant green eyes. You had been telling the truth the whole time, and he could only feel regret for not finding out about Maura’s plot sooner.

His anger within him were like ocean waves as they ebbed and flowed. He should have done more for you, a demon who valued knowledge, yet he had not foresee such a predictable outcome.

Carefully taking all the items in the room, Satan decides to leave them off at the local orphanage before he retreats back into his room. No little nuggets of knowledge or fantastical stories could distract him from the reality before him. 

Lucifer wasn’t a perfect parental figure to him growing up, and so he had to rely on his brothers to raise him. Particularly Mammon and Asmo. But the opportunity to be a parent to his own child was something he did not want to fuck up.

He wanted you and his child back, you both were worth more than the books and archives that he possessed. Finding a book from the human world, one on human anatomy. A rather large edition as he absentmindedly flipped through the pages. 

He wanted to be there with every step of your pregnancy, he wanted to experience the wonder that was birth with you. His own birth was an awful reminder to his brothers of what they had lost that fateful day. What would his child see their birth as?

He so wanted to distance himself from Lucifer, who he saw as a failed parental figure to him. And now it seemed he was the failed parental figure to his own child. His blood boiled at the thought of comparing himself to Lucifer once more, and for the last time, he would do everything in his power to not 

Perhaps his child was in better hands? His child would be in a more stable environment growing up with the Royals. Even the angels and Solomon would provide a calm upbringing compared to the hand he was dealt.

He’d devote himself to you and his child, he’d forgo his many pursuits of knowledge if it meant you come back. He’d take a break from the Anti-Lucifer League if you both would stay, even if he’d wanted his child to take a part in it. You had healed the rage in him and fixed his family, he now wanted to heal what he had broken. It was only fair that he’d earn his happy ending.

Asmodeus

Asmo was a mess when they had come home, never to see you or his baby again. You were the first to love him for who he was, in his beauty and his ugly sides. He couldn’t bring himself to clean your room right away. Eventually he would.

How could he though? He, along with Mammon had went all out in spending all the grimm in making Maura and her baby live like royalty. Having to let them go was such a waste, but none of that would fit you or the baby anyways. 

Being the Avatar of Lust, the knows full well of the consequences of the many flings he had over millennias upon millennias. He probably had thousands of children that he carelessly left behind in his wake.

Yet when it came to you, and he had saw his child in your arms, he could not fight the tears that followed. Of course you had been telling the truth, and he and his brothers didn’t believe you. Little light orange eyes that could only be his, had stared at him as he were looking at his own reflection.

The fact you had rejected him and his brothers when they had snapped out of their shared control, it hurt him more than anything. You were the only person besides his family that he truly loved, and he’d still want you even if you had banished him.

Asmo sneaks into your room and it seemed like the brothers had cleansed it of Maura’s presence. He lets out a quiet sigh as the familiarity of your room had returned for now, and decides to head into the closet. Inside, there were the maternity clothes and baby clothes that had been left behind. 

How did the charmer managed to be charmed? Asmo isn’t too sure but he’s pulling the clothes and tossing them into a pile. Warm tears were starting to blur his vision as he emptied your closet, all that was needed was your clothes to be put back in its place. 

It was beyond his wildest dreams to have a child with you. When he saw his child in your arms, his heart swelled with love and adoration. Yet, at the moment he could only feel so empty. 

You were more than just another conquest, you had seen the ugliest side of him, along with the angelic and caring side of him that had been buried deep within him. Your love for him mattered more to him than any of his adoring fans, and right now, he wanted nothing but to shower you and his baby with all the love he possessed.

Not only did you heal the rifts in his family, you had healed the many rifts of insecurities within in his own heart. You had reminded him many times over that he didn’t need to be perfect for anyone, but for himself. Yet he had wanted to be perfect only for you.

Between the sobs and sniffles, Asmo could only look at the mountain of clothes and accessories spent on. If only he could be the one that spent all his time and money on you and his baby,  

No amount of self care and partying could heal the hole you left in his heart as he knew you were in good hands. Diavolo, Barbatos, and the angels would treat you like the queen you were. And Solomon? Asmo had hoped he could find a way for Solomon to keep him in the loop on how you were doing.

He knew you wouldn’t come back so easily, but he could only hope you’d forgive them for something out of their control. He would throw himself at your feet, commit every fiber of his being to you and the baby if it meant you’d come back. 

Beelzebub

Beelzebub was reluctant to go back home, he desperately wanted to have you and his little one back to be a family once more. Again, it was his fault that he had lost those that he had loved.

He had lost two more family members, you and his little one. He had vowed himself as the family’s protector, yet he couldn’t protect you from himself, nor Maura’s charms over him and his brothers.

Remembering how it was him and his twin who guarded Maura, Beel felt how queasy stomach felt right now. He really was just the dumb muscle of family as he blindly followed his brothers without question.

Beel would help clean out your room of what was there for Maura, as he tried to find anything left of you. Clearly, that wasn’t the case after the day you announced your pregnancy and left the brothers for good.

How could he have not noticed the strange knots in his stomach and irregular hunger patterns? They were obviously from you as you had gone through your cravings phase. Throughout it all, did you eat well? Did Solomon feed your his gourmet atrocities? You must have been well fed since you got the best food from the three realms.

Cleaning out the room, he had found baby food that he had proposed, and with Lucifer and Satan giving the green light, had enough food for the baby’s first crucial years. Beel frowns at the baby food, of course he wouldn’t let it go to waste. Maybe he’ll join the brothers in taking all of it to the orphanage.

Staring at the cleansed room, Beel wished you were back here with his baby. Sure the baby shared his twin’s eye color, but he was observant to notice the light orange peach fuzz on their head. His own little bub, only to slip out of his grasp as like Lilith had done before.

Finding himself in the kitchen, he could only reminisce on the memories you both had spent here, to be never felt again. Finding the fridge full of food, yet he couldn’t find it in him to eat a thing. His hunger was directed elsewhere.

You were in good hands, weren’t you? You had Barbatos, and at one point he had wished Barbatos cloned himself so he’d be here at the House of Lamentation. You also had Simeon and Luke there, you and your baby had all the food he could possibly imagine he could be feasting on.

He was sure Diavolo and Solomon would take the place of your protectors, with the Prince and the sorcerer with 72 demons; you were protected no matter what. He had prided himself as the family’s protector, yet he couldn’t protect you, nor his family from Maura’s intentions.

There was a unending ache in his heart and in his stomach, and he knew the only way he could make it stop. He would do anything to have you back, he wanted you to cure this ache like you had done before.

He had wanted to explore the new possibilities with you and his baby. He had so many new places he wanted to show you and the baby. He wanted them to experience the many outings that he had done so many times with you.

He wanted to be your protector, and the protector for his child. He wasn’t going to lose any more people that he loved. If you were to come back, he would commit himself wholly to you and his baby. 

His family had been broken many times before, this time though. He would make damn sure that it would never be broken again.

Belphegor

Belphegor would have joined his twin in cleaning your room back, but he was too emotionally and physically exhausted from the fallout of what had happened. Their home didn’t feel like a home now that you had left them.

And he, once again was the cause of your demise.

Once the brothers had finished clearing your room of Maura’s things and her baby’s, only then did Belphie sneak into your room. Finding his way towards your bed, he collapsed.

The baby of the family sunk into the mattress, he was aware of the lack of your presence and he knew that trying to find any trace was hopeless. The last nine months were a whirlwind for him, and with the seven brothers. You were completely erased from their home.

He, along with his twin were the ones who had fiercely protected Maura as her personal guard dogs. He blamed his sin for not being aware of her charms as he and his brother were charmed together as one. 

He saw his child in your arms and even with his twins eyes, he knew that they were his. A terrible ache swelled in his heart as he guiltily tries to sleep the thought off, yet he could not. 

Belphegor may had the power to give people nightmares and put them into eternal sleep, yet he was quaking at the thoughts of his own nightmares of you both.

Your hatred of him would have bloomed back as quickly as you had forgiven him, and now would his child hate him as well? There were so many ways you could have punished the brothers for their incompetence and their baby would have been known of it.

He missed you, he missed the nights spent together whether taking naps in the attic together or staring up at the stars at the planetarium. And he wanted to share it with his little one now, but would you give him, or any of his brothers the chance?

You had repaired his broken family, and yet he and his brothers had broken you. And they were broken once more, when would the cycle of his family being broken over and over end? 

As he holds onto your pillow, he could only wish you were here holding him in comfort. But you were in good hands now, what reason could you come back to him and his family?

As much as he despised Lord Diavolo and Barbatos, as much as he loathed the angels having any influence on you, and as much as the thought of you trusting that shady sorcerer over him and his brothers...They were the ones that did look after you and now looking after the baby after you were cast out by them.

Why would you come back? Did the love for his family died the moment they all turned on you? Belphie held the pillow tighter as the tears dared to be shed at the thoughts of having to watch you and his child just be a fleeting image.

The pain of having to watch you and his child live your life without him was enough of a waking nightmare that he could only wish he could wake up from.

The weeks soon turned into months, and the brothers were no doubt miserable without you and the baby. The house had never been so quiet and empty as the brothers sat in the living room.

By now, the house had been cleared of all traces of Maura living there and your room had been restored to its former glory. The only thing that was missing was you and their baby to make the house whole once more.

Another day without both of you just wasn’t worth living as the brothers could only reflect on how they should have noticed the red flags. If they could go back in time and kick some sense into their old selves, none of this would have happened.

“I want to see MC and the baby again.” Beel breaks the silence as the brothers sadly groaned. Giving the brothers an apologetic look, Beel huffs as he gave up on his bag of newt chips.

It was apparent that no one spoke up about you since their banishment, and the brothers had resigned the fact that they’d never see you nor the baby again. Nothing was going to make it the same as it was.

“Why can’t we go see them? It’s not like we had any control of what happened.” Belphie mutters as he leans against his twin and closes his eyes for another nap.

The normally vibrant Asmo had been picking at his unpainted nails, “But...We haven’t been there at all, we might be here now, but she still doesn’t want us.” he sighed dejectedly.

Satan sighs as he shakes his head, and tossed his book aside. “Even if it was out of our control. We abandoned MC, and the baby. We couldn’t be there for her. There’s no doubt that she suffered greatly because of us, simple as that.”  

“Even if MC wanted to come back, why would she? She’s living the good life over there at the castle.” Levi mumbled as he had lost interest in his game and sighed as he slumped into the sofa next to the twins.

Mammon who had been uncharacteristically quiet since you had left, looked to the eldest as he always did in crisis. “Lucifer...Can’t ya do anythin? Anythin, whateva it takes to get ‘em back. I’ll stop bein a scumbag if tat’s what it takes to get em back.”  

Lucifer is silent for a moment. Anything? Memories of swearing allegiance to Diavolo flooded back to him. Would it have to happen to his brothers too, just to get you back? “There’s nothing we can do now. MC has made her decision...It may as well take a miracle that she decides to forgive us. We will wait until then.”

They gazed upon the family portrait that hung above the fireplace. There, you sat in the middle of the brothers, who had surrounded you in the shot. There was only one thing they wanted.

All they wanted was to be a family again.

It was a normal day in the Demon Lord’s Castle as you were in the middle of an routine appointment with one of the royal doctors as your little one was growing up quickly.

“Your child is growing just fine. Impressive for the little spawn, the avatar’s blood is strong in this one.” Felnara comments as your little one was already teething. “It seems the brews you had taken during the pregnancy haven’t affected your little one very much. Which is good.”

The weeks had gone by quickly as your little one was growing fast, it was so exciting, yet so bittersweet. They were looking more and more like their father, which made it harder for you to forget about the Avatars. You had wished they were here to see them reach their milestones. You wished he was there to see his child grow up. But with the brothers being banished, you knew it was for the best.

Deep down, you still missed them all.

You had traded in a normally chaotic life with the brothers for a calm, yet orderly life in the palace with Diavolo and Barbatos. It would have been full of hardship had you been a single parent, a human with a halfing would be daunting for anyone. But you were grateful for the Royals and the Purgatory Trio, who were there to assist you and let you have breaks from being a mother.

“MC.” Barbatos had come with tea and biscuits for you. Felnara bows to the steward, giving your little one a pinch on the cheek before leaving you both.

“Oh hi.” You reply back as if you were in a trance. But your little one’s squirming in your arms and their excited babbling in response to seeing Barbatos reminded you of the present.

Raising an eyebrow as he studies you, you had these fleeting moments as of late. As you let your child nibble on a biscuit, you kept your focus on them. Barbatos hums as he rubs his chin as he knew you too well. 

Since the day you found out the brothers had been banished from seeing you and your baby. 

“You miss them, don’t you? Especially him.” Barbatos figures as you look away guiltily and sigh. He chuckles lowly and shakes his head as he sits across from you. “Do you wish to see them again? Him?”

“I do...I know it’s foolish of me to. Since, you know...” You murmur as you wipe the crumbs off your child’s face and their eyes met your’s. There they were, a constant reminder of him. “I want them to know who their father is of course.”

“So you have forgiven them?” the butler speculates but you shake your head in response.

“I haven’t. Not yet. I know it was out their control, but I still felt the pain from what happened. But...” You look down at your child as they giggled at Barbatos and you sigh. 

“I may not want them in my life at the moment...But I can’t help but think about my little one. Somewhere along the line, they’ll ask me who their real father is. I don’t think it’ll change the fact that Lord Diavolo, Simeon, Solomon, and yourself are wonderful father figures to them. But, they’ll have to know the truth sooner or later.” You let out a frustrated groan as you could only imagine the many ‘what-ifs’ in the future when it came to coming clean to your kid about their absent father.

You felt worry lines creep across your forehead as Barbatos simply smiles, “I see. If that is the case, I will mention it to Young Master. He has feelings about father issues as well.” Barbatos states as he bows to you, leaving you with your thoughts.

Your baby fusses at the butler leaving them and you sigh as you kiss their head, “Well bub, what do you think?”

Now came the hard part.

Would you choose to forgive them for what they’ve done? And let them back into your life with their child? Or did you want to move on from them forever and forge a new future for the better of your child?

To be continued...?

[superchat]

Do you have vision or desire for who you are going to become ? Not necessarily something you are resolved towards but something you’d like to see in yourself and would welcome . It can be small or nonexistent if you really like the way you are

Ohh, hrmmm. idk, i think abt how i do get older and what i will be like, would i be a 45 year old who goes online too much and reblogs too much anime art still or what. i feel like ppl have an idea that "oh once im older things will just Be Different" like their current habits just..wont apply to themselves in 20 years, but i think itd be very easy to just never lose them

I will be honest, i dont really like who i am and think there is an Inherent part of it with just how im wired, i think back to me in 7th grade vs. me now and how things i liked then is just the same now. i had no idea what k-on! was back then but my ipod wallpaper app had pics of the characters, i downloaded a ton of the wallpapers of bassist like this, especially this outfit with the sleeves and hat, cuz she was just rllyrlly cool looking but i was super embarasssd abt any of it, i remember when my friend found out i felt lik dying

A song i listened to nonstop as a kid was nowthen by matt flinner. didnt have much understanding of why i loved it, but now i look back and im like "oh its secondary chords." i look at any song through my life where i resonate with it and its always secondary chords as the reason why i like them

So i see things like this taat dont seem to change and coupled with how i jost generally dont like myseof and thilk im weird and awkward and socializing alwys breaks down at some point, and im like "hrrmm. well. whatever ill be in the future, will probably just be me now, but more"

I think it will be a lonely life, but i was always one who veered towards being alone, my parents talk abt how easy it was to raise me cuz id go in my room and play with my toys by myself for hours at a time. and today i go home from work and i just stay in my apartment and go online, ive been in a couple relationships that lasted 2+ years when i was in highschool but thats been the most involved relationships ive had, i dont think i would be good in any right now even tho i rlly want to connect closely with someone, i think abt it all the time :33 but i dont think i can maintain that, i remind myself that im longing for a romanticized idea

So when im older i think ill be alone and half be okay with it, and half hate it but i dont think ill ever be like "this is unfair!" cuz i dont rlly have anything or anyone to blame, its just how i am rlly

[welcometothememeteam]

I have received a vision while catching all the starters in the new Pokemon dlc and so it must be shared. It's time forrrrrr.....

WHICH POKEMON STARTERS EACH OF THE BALDURS GATE 3 CHARACTERS WOULD HAVE

I am basing this off the final evolutions of each starter, for example infernape instead of chimchar

1. Wyll: I believe in my heart of hearts this man would be best fucking friends with an empoleon. Not only would empoleons steal and water typing make it very effective as a shield for the week, especially against demons, but empoleons personality generally is very proud and upstanding. Like Wyll, it is proud but not prideful, not full of arrogance or superiority, but the pride of responsibility and leadership. I feel like they both represent something more than they are.

Also I think both Wyll and Empoleon are extremely cool and swag. Thats just me tho

2. Lae'zel: I think Lae'zel would love a Feraligatr, and not because of any fucking jokes about what githyanki look like! I think she would deeply appreciate the ferocity and power that feraligatr has, with its incredible bite force and powerful legs. there isn't a lot in the pokedex about its personality, but I like to imagine it as a creature with a lot of loyalty, it sticks to those it has grown close to and will fight by their side until the bitter end. I think they would "spar" (read: play fight) often, with Lae'zel trying to give it more formal training, especially since totodile is known for having little control of its incredible jaw strength. I don;t think she would like that uncontrolled strength.

3. Karlach: Karlach is the genesis of this stupid idea. I caught a tepig and thought, 'man, karlach would love an emboar' and I am fucking correct. Karlach obviously needed a fire type, and nothing suits her more perfectly than one of the Fire/Fighting types. Emboar not only fits her personality, but also her fighting stye, with its Black and white 2 pokedex entry saying "A flaring beard of fire is proof that it is fired up. It is adept at using many different moves." literally perfect for 'set my engine on fire and i am a master of killing diffderent varieties of demon' karlach. Not only that, but its original pokemon black entry has the line "It cares deeply about its friends." Emboar is Karlach the pokemon.

4: Gale: This man needs a Delphox in his life fucking immedietly for a multitude of reasons. First of all, psychic types are genrally supposed to be smarter than your average person, so hopefully another companion like tara who would be able to keep with his smart ass. Speaking of his intelligence, we all know, despite this man's vast fucking intellect, he does not have the best foresight, making decisions that seem good in the short term, but not so great long term. Delphox can fix that! According to its X entry, it can literally see the future! let this man know if fucking with strange magic will go well or not. Also, its hidden ability is magician and its basically a witch. All in all, solid companion for Gale/

5. Shadowheart: This one was a bit harder, but if we are talking about early game, still devoted to shar shadowheart, its got to be incineroar because it dont think any other starter matches incin for sheer drama value. Its literally and on fire cat that is also a pro wrestler. Also the secondary dark typing and edginess fits. If we are talking late game, Selunite shadowheart, Meganium. Maganium's whole bit is renewal and healing, giving life where it was previously taken away. The only starter that could be better at healing is primarina and that doesn't fit shadowheart as well as meganium does. I think the whole evolution line fits shadowheart pretty well as well. Starting with Chicorita, a barely sprouting flower, through Bayleef, where you can finally see the beginnings of the vibrant flower that is Meganium. I think that is somewhat mirrored in shadowhearts process of growing into herself throughout the acts, as she finds who she is without shar.

6. Astarion: I think this one was the hardest for me, but I think it has to go to Decidueye. A ghost type archer whose signiture move is about taking control the battlefield by locking their opponents down? seems to fit with Astarion pretty well. The dex entry holds pretty true as well, stating that "Although (Decidueye is) basically cool and cautious, when it’s caught by surprise, it’s seized by panic." I am unsure if Decidueye is the perfect fit for astarion but the only other one I could imagine him with is greninja, but i dont think it fits as well as decidueye.

Anyway! thats the main six. I might do additional ones later. The Shadowheart and Astarion ones are definitely the weakest, but I think they are still pretty good

[bonesandthebees]

that ties into the fact that we have no idea whatll happen to wilbur afterwards

I would love to believe that he wont be forced into any roles (maybe even get to figure out his relationship with clara, communicate it out with her in a way or something tho that is very hopeful and foolish) and get to live as a person if he wishes to (which im confident to say he does)

he has phil on his side (and surely also tommy, niki techno, some other deathlings too) and I would even dare to believe eret wouldnt force him into a strict role like that, plus he did agree to the plan but im not sure if that really accounts for any insurance

but does any of that really matter if he still keeps getting visions

at this point it doesnt feel like enough for wilbur to get to be a person while still getting and relaying vision, bc there is deep rooted trauma

I think he either ignores the visions or fixes his relationship with clara ig (idk how that could even happens but it would definitely be very interesting ngl)

not sure if that makes sense but in general im just praying for some closure and freedom for him, my boy deserves at least that

wilbur has made some insane progress lately and it can be seen, especially in the last chapter and I go over that in my comments but just trusting more in general, less afraid to break pythia rules, ... im so proud of him

what I do want to point out is how, despite the deathlings being his friends/family now, the good ones basically, and even kristin being more there than clara ever really was, wilbur still doesnt like kristin and doesnt want to be a deathling

like hes with them and hes one of them in a way, but hes not a deathling, he isnt switching to kristin just bc he hates clara

and I absolutely love that, bc while switching to being a deathling would make sense, his journey here is about discovering himself, without the influence of anyone else, especially not goddesses (I think if he werent chosen as the pythia he wouldve been an atheist, talking to q about it was very intriguing to him)

on completely different note I noticed that the kind of visions wilbur receives (or maybe how he perceives them) is relevant to how he feels about something rn, like the vision about escaping vs the new vision being confused bc hes confused

not sure if thats what's actually happening but it feels like it

and ofc I cant forget, THAT SANDDUO SCENE? WITH THE NAME REVEAL? BONES YOUR SANDDUO ARE EVERYTHING TO ME

so unbelievably proud of wilbur for how far hes come and prying this all goes well and he gets to live the life he deserves

and a mandatory "the pythia"/"wilbur" narration changes bc I dont think ill ever be normal about that, it just always gives every moment even more meaning, its genius

2/2

hm... while it would be great for wilbur not to be forced into any more roles he IS still clara's chosen. he is still going to receive visions of the future whether he wants them or not. and that means something even if he doesn't want it to.

guess you'll have to wait and see how that turns out :)

yeah the thing is I think a lot of readers expected wilbur to switch to kristin since she's the 'opposite' of clara in a sense, but that's not the route i wanted to go down. wilbur's trauma is so deeply ingrained, any kind of religious institution leaves a bad taste in his mouth now. the past ten years of his life have been dictated by the rules of the divine, but he doesn't want that anymore. he wants to step away from the divine entirely, and get the experience he's been denied for so long: just being a person.

aaa thank you I loved writing that sandduo scene so much. he's made SO much progress it's been so fun to write his slow character growth throughout this entire fic, and finally reap the rewards.

[plagued-melodies]

※Request and writing guidelines and just overall what to expect from my blog <3※

Background information about myself

General information, interests, pronouns, DNI, etc

I am Lost or sometimes known as Melody (My online alias, they are by no means by actual names)

I am 18

This is my main blog where I'm just as annoying

I go by all pronouns and do count myself as genderfluid (I am afab)

Bi(myself)

I love to write (obviously), draw (as you can tell from my main blog), BAKE, and clean any space that is not of my own because god where I do I even begin.

I don't have many DNI honestly, my blog is pretty much open to anyone except I am uncomfy with older men. I don't mind them online but I do write self-insert ship stuff so take that with what you will.

I am VERY specific about certain ships. I do not care much what people ship, as long as it isn't gross (child and adult or animals with people) or whatever, I won't care because I understand having a specific ship most people hate but the only reason you ship it is because of VERY SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES that would have to occur that you could EVER imagine it in but you can't simply say that in a short breath so people automatically think you're weird or some creep when no it's not like that LET ME EXPLAIN- PLeAse

DO NOT INTERACT IF

You are okay with minor x adult ship or Beastiality

You are homophobic or transphobic (this means the exclusion of nonbinary people too, incels)

you ship siblings

Do not include Aro/ace people in the queer community

You are conservative (this is a pro-choice blog)

Fandoms I write for

Blue ones are my current brain rots as of writing this and will probably post about them the most (probably mostly Genshin though) but if you request any of these I will try my best :D

I have intense tunnel vision I'm sorry

BungoStrayDogs

Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun

Servamp

Genshin Impact

The Owl house

gravity falls (MAYBE??? still dont know about this one honestly maybe headcanons about Dipper and Mable's future or something)

Danganronpa

supernatural

Security Breach (mostly interpretive with this, it can be seen as romantic OR platonic, I can see the appeal but I cannot forget that they are ROBOTS 😭)

My Hero Academia (Haven't finished or started it much tho, I will literally only judge them based on what I have found online and how they look)

Kamisama Kiss

Voltron

Inuyasha

Black Butler

Breath Of The Wild

Mystic messenger

The Arcana

WILL WRITE ✨

Fluff

Smut

Angst

Multi chapters or harem type deals, where it all sort of interconnects I always find those so cool <3

talk of mental illnesses but will not do so if I am not knowledgable on something (see my restrictions for more info)

Platonic/familial with children (I.E child! Reader + [insert character] but purely platonic or familial)

Teen! reader x teen character pairings are okay though, I'm a teen myself but once I'm an adult I will slowly migrate away from that or age the characters up with me :)

Platonic pairings

canon Character x canon character pair headcanon (platonic, familial, romantic, etc) It doesn't have to be self-inserts^^

Any kind of reader, from god, mortal, fem, male (though I'm more hesitant to do male! Reader x male characters because I am afab but Im genderfluid so I can only feel comfortable taking such requests from MLM individuals if I even feel comfortable at all) and so on and so forth :)

QUEER HEADCANONS, if you headcanon [character] as trans or as aro or as anything like that I will 100% do so.

Spicy or suggestive but there will always be a warning

same with descriptive gore/horror but I will always put a distinct warning

Poly relationships, not poly myself but I am a multi-shipper and I say we have two hands for a reason so go ahead, give me the polycules 👁👁

FAMILY HEADCANONS, like if you wanted me to write about your reader having a family with a character and whether or not that reader and character have kids and if they do whether or not they adopt 🥺

SOCIAL MEDIA AUS OML I MAY START ONE THEY ARE SO FUN

JUST AU's IN GENERAL ARE SO COOL OH MY GOD

I WILL NOT WRITE

Anything regarding really complex mental health stuff such as eating disorders, depression, OCD, Bipolar, etc. I do not have these disorders nor am I knowledgeable enough to write about them (highly doubt anyone would ask but I wanted to make it clear)

Minor characters in NSFW situations

NO INCEST

Genshin is a bit more nuanced with ages but characters like Bennett, Fischl, QiQi, Sayu, Yao Yao, Klee, Chongun, Xinqiu, Xiangling, Barbara, Noelle, Diona, Razor, Dori, Nahida, Freminet (debatable but I can't tell with him honestly), and Sigewinne (there might be more) AS OF THIS MOMENT I see as all MINORS. I may have missed a few and many more will be released but will try to update this asap. (I think Dori is a minor? I've seen mixed reactions but I'm just gonna say she is or that I'm uncomfortable with writing anything suggestive with a character that looks too much like the children characters)

Anyways, please stay safe, hydrated, and have an amazing day <3

[quidfree]

for the r&j discourse... actually the main topic was about chatgpt is currently available in my country and someone made a post to discuss whether ai would rule the world (and concluded its not gonna be that dramatic like people imagine after he teaching chatgpt chess and asking it questions about moral dilemma). the most possible scenario is that ai will be people's mental counselor (or even the one can give advice on/effect our life choices, our morality), and specifically it will replace book/film reviewers cause chatgpt is excellent at these. and that said person made a joke about if those reviewers dont want to be replaced, they should write something that ai would 'despise' writing about; and then he gave an screenshot that he sent chatgpt a message like:

b

so i was just being nosy or whatever about that line "Shakespeare wrote r&j just to criticize love because he thought it's stupid" and thought i could ask you (admittedly i have never read r&j even it got stranlated into my mother tongue 'cause i think it wouldn't be the same when i can read it in its language and still need some motivation for shakespere's works is ...hard lol)

in the discourse, he even noted that current world with ai will be likelier a dystopia in 'Brave New World' by Aldous Huxley than the one in '1984' by 'George Owell' (which i must also admit i don't have a clue, but asking you once again to give thoughts lol)

it was so random and a lot, i know, and you always have been so kind and generous, no need to burdern yourself with this, just delete this without any qualms if this is too much

thank you ^^

interesting..... i was not expecting this to be the direction that query went in lol.

i find the whole chatgpt/ai = future moral arbiter argument so odd. it's an appeal to objective morality that i don't understand bc i don't believe that exists. humans shape morals and humans make ai. like at the end of the day when we see 'ai generated art' it's art ripped from art real people made, and likewise whatever output we get from an ai stems from some person somewhere. it ultimately is just borrowing the voice of real people and their real opinions.

shakespeare is absolutely hard because the english is old and full of references that even the english no longer understand without guidance! i think if you're interested in romeo + juliet you should absolutely watch the 1996 movie, because it's really beautifully true to the feel and emotion of the play while translating it into a modern setting which makes the text a lot more easily understood. and it's sick. mercutio is so cool. the visuals are outstanding.

i don't know that i can give a good verdict on 1984 vs brave new world as our likely future. my thoughts on those 2 books in particular were like... i remember brave new world gave me the vibe that huxley had a lot of weird sexual hangups, and like a lot of his type of author he had 50/50 valid criticisms of liberal/libertarian capitalism and moral panic over irrelevant issues. 1984 on the other hand is a very particular/time-specific critique and a lot grimmer, and as such easier to read because it's less believable a permanent future.

anw in terms of 'accuracy', a lot of elements from those books exist in our current society, but that's because most dystopia is based on the horrors of present day rather than any genius visions of the future. i will squarely admit i don't enjoy the genre, maybe because i don't like to induce existential anxiety in myself when i read or maybe because i prefer my fictitious social critiques to be less... idk, exaggerated. i feel the same way abt candide.

also your message is very kind to me anon, no need to be so hard on yourself either! i'm always happy to weigh in on random subjects of interest.

[dragonballevolution]

3 and 11 for the DB asks?

OUGHHH AN ASK. THANK YUO... oh god oh jesus i typed So Much i have so many fucking things to say. im putting this shit under a read more. forgive me for my long opinions

3. List your top five favorite characters in order of how much you like them.

oh god it is so difficult to say who are my top favorite Dragon Ball characters. like literally one of the things i think this series does best is have a lot of REALLY fun and interesting characters.... i will try but just know that this list fluctuates heavily based on who im thinking about at the exact present moment and if you asked me at a different time i would probably give you a nearly totally different list

5. Cell - hes simultaneously one of the funniest and one of the scariest DBZ villains. truly he can do it all. also whether i like it or not i get gender envy from his original fucked up bug form so he gets points for that

4. King Kai - hmmmmmmmmmm i am thinking about King Kai right now i want to put him on the list. i feel like he doesnt get put on many favorites list and that's making me sad. so right now he goes on the list

3. Supreme Kai of Time - ive rambled about my thoughts on her on here before. girlboss. i want her to be even more mentally ill. i dont know if shes Supposed to actually be as fucked up as i tend to read her as but she should be

2. Future Trunks - man what do i even say here its goddamn Future Trunks everybody loves him hes aewsome

Bardock - i am listening to Solid State Scouter right now which is definitely biasing me to put him at the top. im not sure i'd put him at the very top normally though, i have really complicated feelings on him though and like i think hes at his ultimate best in the Bardock: Father of Goku special and dont really vibe as much with anything making him more straightforwardly Cool And Heroic. i like him best when he's ultimately doomed

honorable mentions: Puar. hes very silly and i love him but i am very aware the version of him that exists in my head is Not how he is written in canon (...and in canon he has like, No personality)

Z Broly isnt even a Dragon Ball character to me anymore hes like some kind of creature. hes so fucking funny to me what the fuck happened for him to be written this way.

Bio-Broly is barely even a character but. Slime Man..............

-

11. Have you seen any of the films? If so, which one is your favorite?

i have seen nearly all of the z and super films except for Super Hero so far + Dragonball Evolution (obviously) though i havent seen any of the Dragon Ball/GT films and i haven't watched any of the weird obscure stuff like the bootleg live action movie or The Real 4D just yet.

DBS Broly is definitely imo unironically like. The Best out of everything ive seen, like its just fucking Good and i have no complaints about it that aren't petty personal taste fare.

HOWEVER. "yeah dbs broly is good" is like the most obvious take in the world so i think it would be more interesting to talk about the stuff i'd rank just below it in terms of attachment (in no particular order)

firstly i dont care what anyone says, Wrath of the Dragon was fucking good. it didn't feel like a Dragon Ball Z movie and also Goku had literally no place being the character to get the final blow in on Hirudegarn, but if you meet it where it's at it's a genuinely very enjoyable and INTERESTING movie. Tapion is such a neat character and after most of the 90s Z movies just feeling like mindless boss battles it is SUCH a breath of fresh air to get something that feels more character-driven

counting the TV Specials as movies here, its not like controversial to call History of Trunks a favorite lmao, its just plain good. AS FOR THE OTHER Z TV SPECIAL. i am fucking mentally ill about Bardock: Father of Goku. i did not care about Bardock (or really Saiyans much in general?) until i saw him get karmically tormented by psychic visions and die a futile death against his own boss. now im obsessed <3

the og Z Broly movie was honestly one of the most enjoyable of the 90s Z movies and i understand why it got so popular. however at the same time my perception of Z Broly has been warped so badly that everything to do with him is hilarious to me. ive watched too many Broly MADs (BTW Z Paragus is probably my favorite movie antagonist tbh. while im glad Super Paragus is still a sack of shit im a little sad he didnt get to have as much of an outright villainous role in DBS Broly. at least what actually happened to him was funny)

im stanning Bio-Broly because no one else will. honestly it genuinely wasnt that bad, i found it fun and honestly melting the Broly clone so he immediately stops looking liek broly is HILARIOUS to me. part of me considering it a favorite is just out of spite for people calling it the "worst" Z movie when fucking BROLY SECOND COMING came right before it.

AND. LASTLY. OBLIGATORY DRAGON BALL EVOLUTION. ITS NOT GOOD BUT. BUT. if you cant tell by my fucking url ive become weirdly attached to it. every single detail of that movie and the stuff surrounding it is FASCINATING to me. its like reached a point where i get genuinely excited when i see it acknowledged somewhere in a way thats not just "ugh remember this? lol" some sick part of me has even started to enjoy Geeko as a character just for how cringefail he is. btw the PSP game is unironically fun (its running on the Shin Budokai engine so of course it is but still). someone buy me the scary uncanny Enterbay DBE statues please

-

thank you again for the ask!!!!!!!!!

[rufusx2]

thinking more of my "autumn headspace" so to speak a thing that happens within me only during the autumn season typically end of august to mid october in which my mind is completely free of my material shackles and i become completely and totally convinced that i can become a different person overnight i am overcome with not only a want for life and a hope for the future but i actually do make changes and i feel things much more deeply than usual, but with an air of detachment from it as if i am not quite out of body but definitely not in it either. a sort of overlap between us both? i dont recall much but i remember crying at night but being so fervent during the day. jaw clenching and shaking and buzzing with that energy. in fact i would honestly describe it as more of a high energy phase than anything else- i would be genuinely unstoppable if i could trigger it on purpose, or choose to live like that permanently. it feels as if there is a haze of gold placed over my vision when i look back in my memories. and this with comes the burning need to walk and keep my body moving. during this time a coworker described be as a "busy body" and he was absolutely right. when i was a teenager this would manifest in me going on hours-long bike rides until i could taste blood in my mouth from moving so fast, and now i wander the nearby neighborhoods turning on random corners until i can't walk any more. i am like a shark compelling to swim and i just can't stop. and it is amazing. i think so many things and while i still think while i walk it's always a bit duller now. i remember walking out in the autumn not caring if i had work later and not adjusting my hair or bothering to check my posture. i would stare at myself in the shadow i left on the sidewalk only. of course i also at one point felt as if the blank walls of my bedroom were going to swallow me up but i have posters up now. i think up countless ideas, and can only try to match that intensity and continue my projects during the rest of the year. i rarely think of new ideas in spring summer or winter. and the thing about fall i think is not just the general "vibe" of it all. because i could easily replicate that by watching over the garden wall or listening to my Autumn bands or putting up my halloween stuff at different times of year. but i think the crispness of the air and the leaves falling off the trees and the relief of being over with summer fuels me. i go for walks in spring sure but the warmth and wetness of the air distracts me from falling into this. while it rains in autumn, it's dry whenever it isn't (which is why it's part of wildfire season). but going back to my detachment. i find it freeing. of course i am still plagued by daily anxieties, but it's more manageable i suppose? or at least, it doesn't happen as frequently. but the main thing that brings me artistic inspiration (or at least, HAS brought me artistic inspiration for this project specifically), is this idea of the Ideal self. how i can become a new person, and change who i am fundamentally. it's futile of course, but for the duration of this phase i really do do it. and i know i'm doing it because other people like me more. every job i have ever had, i got hired in autumn. i am calmer. i think differently. i do things that i cannot do otherwise. and i try so hard to keep this up but i just cant. again, not in my nature. but i feel as if i can change my nature during those few short months a year. and i feel less trapped by this body. and of course this can tip very quickly into self hatred which i have gone into before on this blog (it's what is meant by 'WWJD' and killing the old self to be reincarnated as the new self) but i still cannot help but wish i knew how to trigger it. what drugs can do this to you? i would trade this sober mind for her any day of the week.

[cleaning-has-its-benefits]

So, for a fic that I’m writing I started taking some notes on blackspace and I remembered that on the wiki there were some alternative names listed for each area, taken from the files apparently (which now that I checked again, are how they are called on the wiki now! When did they change it?) So, I decided to analyze them (though speculate might be a better word cuz I don’t think Im the best at analyzing) and how they relate to their respective area and see if I could wrap around my head on the thinking process behind them, hopefully to get a better understanding on how blackspace works on a symbolic level, since I don’t want to turn blackspace into some generic creepy place, I want it to at least feel like I made an attempt in preserving what makes blackspace unique, you know?

After that, I thought it was maybe good enough to make it a post and someone might find this interesting, so I translated my notes and here they are (also I tidied them up and cut some stuff so you dont have to see me ramble so much). Maybe my perspective could be useful to someone else planning to write about blackspace, or just fun to read. Dunno. I’m the first to admit that some of these are a bit of a stretch but at least I hope it doesn’t make anyone’s eyes bleed. I included some of the other alternative listed names, but not all because I got tired and I found this was good enough for what I wanted to accomplish.

This is blackspace what we’re talking about so you can get an idea of what to expect: Mentions of a deteriorating mental health, depression, unhealthy coping mechanisms, dissociation, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, trauma and negative aspects of religion (kinda?), among others. Some of these are literally just mentioned but others are a bit more described.

1- Suspense (aka pain area)

Suspense is defined as ‘that which maintains the expectation over a resolution. The state of tension in a determined situation’ (all the definitions I quote here are at least according to the first site I found them at.) With this, I would say this area reflects Sunny’s uncertainty about his future, if he continues the lifestyle he has currently. Deep down, he knows what will be the end result of that: pain, even more pain than he already feels.

It’s other name, Static World, could be taken as ‘a world that doesn’t move, doesn’t change’, which fits with how Sunny’s small world is currently, but probably it refers to the static seen in the background of this place. Since static is caused by a bad signal, this could refer to how Sunny, sinking into his depression and misery, loses contact with how vast the world is truly, with the good things and the opportunities he still has, and he thinks all there is is pain. Basically, it is related to how depression and a bad mental health can ‘cloud your vision’, so to say.

2- Subconscious spill (aka disco area)

‘Spill’ makes me think of excess or lack of care, while the subconscious can be defined as ‘that information stored in the brain which is of hard access, like a suppressed wish or trauma, and which the conscience doesn’t want to remember,’ but in this case I would associate the subconscious with blackspace itself.

With this, I think this name refers to blackspace’s advancement, slowly getting closer to headspace, as well as the deterioration of this one. At some point, headspace will stop functioning and everything there is in blackspace will reach Sunny, demanding to be heard, acknowledged. One day those feelings Sunny represses will ‘spill’ and Sunny will be forced to face them, wants it or not, ready or not.

The chaotic graphics of this area could reflect this state of being ‘overwhelmed’, but I think the visuals are a bit of an answer from headspace about this issue, Sunny’s coping mechanism becoming more extreme to keep in distracted, flooding his senses with colors and sounds to the point he can’t concentrate in any thought, no matter how much said thought keeps ‘yelling’.

3- Looping black field (aka scribble area)

I find this name sorta self-explanatory. It a looping and black place, though it catches my attention that this place is called a ‘field’, considering it looks more like a black void than any sort of field.

At least to me, a field sounds like a peaceful place, serene, a place where to lay down on the grass, relax and look at the world go on without you, or maybe forget about the world. This area contrasts with the last one. While that one was an overwhelming chaos, I think this one circles around numbness, which for Sunny, in comparison to being overwhelmed by guilt and fear, must feel close enough to peace. Maybe this place could also be associated with dissociation. It is almost empty, lonely, dark, there are stick figures that seem to decay, but Sunny calls it a field, or rather, he pretends it is a pleasant field. Even if it is a lonely place, it is a pleasant loneliness, or close enough to that.

4-Neighborhood (aka town area)

This name is also pretty straightforward, this area is a suburban neighborhood. Maybe the name is purposely generic. It’s not Faraway town, just some suburban town, purposely taking away it’s identity. The word ‘neighborhood’ makes me think of belonging and community, things that I doubt Sunny thinks he has anymore. After being shut away so long, maybe he feels like he isn’t a part of the town anymore, or feels like he has lost his bonds with it. It’s not Faraway, his hometown, just some ‘neighborhood’ his safe haven happens to be at, and this statement will be twice as true once he moves out to a new place, specially if he doesn’t make an attempt in reconnecting with the real world. His neighborhood feels more like a place that he can look at but not reach.

5-Forest of stumps (aka backyard area)

A forest of stumps makes me think of deforestation, a place that once was thriving with life, healthy, that has been devastated and now all that’s left are it’s remains, the proof or memory of what it once was. I think this describes pretty well how Sunny’s house is currently. Before it was a place where the group of friends often spent time, a noisy place, the noise of children playing, lively, but now it’s a place silent and empty (more so the closer the moving day gets and the place is emptied of everything), a shadow of what it used to be. The same could be said about the backyard, once a place where children played, now the place where a tragic death took place, the proof still there of both of these things (the toys and the stump.) Out of all the rooms of bs1, this is the one that references ‘the truth’ more than any.

6- Cat dissection (aka punishment area)

Another straightforward name. In general I think this room represents Sunny’s intrusive thoughts, specifically the ones relating to Mewo. Intrusive thoughts when having pets are a really nasty thing to deal with (well, it’s a nasty thing in general to deal with), and since Sunny already caused harm to a dear one when he never meant to, I bet they must be even more distressing for him. So, this room can be associated with Sunny being afraid of himself and the dread he feels at the further harm he could, in theory, cause (though in practice I really doubt he ever did anything to Mewo.)

7-Watermelon path (aka watermelon area)

Maybe I should stop mentioning how straightforward some of these names, since a lot of them are like that. Okay then, this name focuses on the watermelons, which here are empty of any objects they would normally contain, a reference to how ‘this path’ (continuing living in headspace) can only bring him empty rewards which at the end will culminate in Basil’s death? If Sunny truly wants to help Basil in a way that matters, rescuing him in headspace won’t be of any use.

Speaking of Basil, this is the place you find him for the first time, and while I don’t feel like finding what each of his deaths represents, I would like to make note, since this is the only obligatory death you have to see (if I remember well) of how this death is a bit different than the others, because Omori (so, the player) directly causes it with his actions by interacting with the watermelons, while the rest are caused by inaction, rather: Omori doesn’t help Basil get rid of the spiders, neither when he’s trapped in the elevator nor when the friends attack him. The death in the raft is vague and at the church is another exception, but I won’t get into detail about that.

8-Scribble (aka beach area)

In this room there are the photos that Sunny scribbled over. I think he did so because it was too painful for him to see the photographs of a reality that didn’t exist anymore and wouldn’t ever again. Mari was dead and the group would never be whole again. It was painful for him to confront the truth that the life he knew was over and that his childhood was left behind. It was painful for him to see his friends so happy and carefree of back then, in contrast of how hurt and destroyed they were now.

Maybe this is the last mandatory area because this was the moment when it truly hit Sunny that this life stage of his, his childhood, was over and he would never get it back… and this was the moment he choose to reject this new reality, ‘cutting ties’ with how his friends truly were, with their pain and all, and eventually he would go with the hs friends, happy and simple, nothing about the complicate grief.

Then there’s the other name, pink beach. Pink is a color that can represent things like innocence, while the beach makes me think of summer vacation, so this name could be related to ‘the good times’, the happy, carefree childhood, going to the beach to play with the friends, back when life was fun, so it fits well with what I said earlier. These photographs were the last contact Sunny had with that life.

9- Spider forest (aka spider area)

First optional area, a forest with spider. Spiders are one of Sunny’s phobias, while forest could be associated with familiarity, home, the forests of the suburbs he lived his happiest days. Then this room could represent the corruption of those places? Like, that which once was familiar and pleasant is now infested with fears? That fits pretty well in each night segment in the real world, when he hallucinates his house changing to torment him with one of his phobias (with a bit of the truth sparkled in!)

10- Safe spot (aka rain area)

This name stands out, among all the other names, which generally entail negative things. This room reminds me of the Vast forest, the grass has a similar color, and it also has the same music. My first impression here is that this was a forest that had been burned down, or in general a place that has been destroyed, all the trees (seemingly) dead and the ground barren, but with the calm music and the light rain… it gives the impression that this place is recovering from whatever happened, or that at least there’s something growing from the remains. The patches of grass look pretty lively, and there are a few flowers around, some rather fantasy-like.

With this, I think this name relates to the most benign side of headspace. Before it became harmful, headspace was truly a ‘safe spot’ for Sunny, a place where to find comfort and normality, a reprieve from his new reality so painful and confusing and solitary, specially when not having any real help or answer on how to deal with all of that. The days after Mari’s death and the separation of the group must’ve been really hard. Sunny’s life had been destroyed , ravaged, and that the place he was at when he created headspace. This is why the dead trees in this room are brown, like a real tree, to reflect this, while the other plants look more like they belong in headspace. Mari?’s dialogue can be associated with this too (as well as her fate being a warning of what will happen if Sunny ‘expands his mind’ too much), and the lamppost here might be a reference to headspace being ‘a light in the darkness.’ Basically, this room is about the beginnings of headspace.

11- Meat room (aka faceless area)

A meat room makes me think of a slaughterhouse. To get meat, an animal must be killed, and then the meat will be used as food, and food is necessary for a person to live. Taking in account that here is where ‘the mannequins’ can be found, I think this name can be associated to how headspace ‘butchers’ the memory of Sunny’s friends, so to create the hs friends, which are molded however it finds fitting to Sunny’s wishes, turned into caricatures, with little regard to how their personality actually are. At the same time, these friends are used to ‘sustain’ Sunny, to keep him sane, make loneliness more bearable, that’s how Sunny has kept himself alive when guilt and depression were getting a hold of him. The message of ‘kill me’ in the background could be related to that, it is easy to miss with all the friends walking around, they ‘distract’ from it, so to say.

12- Construction in the lake

I have no fucking idea. In my notes I keep rambling but I didn’t reach a good conclusion, so I’ll spare you all that text (and that also means I have to translate less!) For now, I’ll take this room as an example of how blackspace can exaggerate things. The closest think I think of about ‘a construction in the lake’ is the statue from which Sunny fell and from where his phobis originated from, as well as the place Mari saved him, and was so relieved of having saved him that she cried. So, this room represents the statue at the lake, but very exaggerated: the lake becomes a flooding, judging by the streetlamps at the background (a disaster then?) while the statue becomes… some sort of construction site? Well, at least is much taller than the actual statue, surely to reflect that Sunny’s memory isn’t perfect and that he could have the impression the statue was much taller than it actually was. And the shape is similar if you squint.

The other name, nighttime treehouse, could be a reference to the neighbor's room, ‘Sunny’s most precious room’, which is based on the treehouse and which he visits at night, or at least it is in a place that’s always at night. Still I’m not sure about the symbolism, but at least the text of the objects inside the treehouse in this room give me a sense of desperation, with how they are a single word every time. It makes me imagine Sunny desperately searching among the confusion for… anything that he has left. Also, there’s a bit of a sense of desolation, with the objects that have the word ‘fun’ also having the word ‘gone.’

Soooo, maybe this place is related to Sunny’s attempt at ‘rebuilding’ after/among the disaster?

(hey, now this section is way more tidy and conclusive than my notes, yay!)

13- Fish out of water (aka fishbowl area)

Not much to say, this is pretty easy to understand. Sunny feels like a fish out of water, specially if comparing himself to other ‘normal’ boys his age, how he is supposed to be if he was normal, how he could have been if nothing had happened. Probably Sunny doesn’t feel that much like a teenager, or like a person even.

14-Basil’s raft path (aka raft area)

for this one my notes are also messy as hell so I’ll try to condense them.

Two main elements to have in mind: Basil and the raft. Starting with the raft, it is a very simple thing, can be hand-made relatively easily and in calm water it does it’s job perfectly fine. A raft makes me think of a survivor from a shipwreckage, stuck on an island, making a raft to get out of their predicament. This is about movies and stuff, because I really doubt in reality the raft that’s shown in this area, which doesn’t have a sail nor any way to control it, would be ideal to traverse the ocean, much less if the ocean gets stormy. That’s just bound to end in tragedy.

The hs Basil found in this area is, together with the one at the church in Sunny’s route, the most aware of all the hs Basils. He hides to keep himself save until Omori arrives (showing some level of independence), he points out that Omori is ‘acting cold’ (showing he’s observant), and is very probable what he tried to say was something related to the truth. For this, I could say this Basil is pretty far from the standard hs Basil… maybe even closer to rw Basil, as close as a hs Basil can get.

With this, I believe ‘Basil’s raft’ is related to how Basil and Sunny’s relationship was after the incident and before Sunny became a shut in, and the support that Basil tried to give to Sunny, and just a reference to their state in general. They kept ‘afloat’, if on a bare-bones foundation, relying on their own means, however they could manage. No one could give them the help they needed, because only they knew what had truly happened, so they were by themselves.

Then we have their clashing opinions regarding how to handle the truth business: Basil seemed to want to talk about it with Sunny, but Sunny wanted to pretend nothing happened. Even if Basil was the only source of ‘honest’ comfort Sunny had (I say honest because Basil wanted to stay by his side even after what Sunny had done, while other people that could have tried to offer comfort didn’t know, so Sunny would keep thinking they would change their mind immediately if they knew), both these clashing opinions and the already conflicting feelings Sunny had regarding Basil… well, although the raft was in a river, rivers eventually can lead to the ocean, and neither of them did good in water.

15-Twoside (aka mirror area)

probably this refers to the whole Sunny&Omori business. This is the inability of Sunny accepting himself for who he is, both his positive traits as well as the negative ones, both the little brother and the murderer. Now that I think about it, since Sunny has surely a hard time thinking anything positive about himself with all that self-hatred, as well as coming-to-terms with what he did, it makes sense he decided to be nothing, then.

16-Time (aka bed area)

out of all the rooms, I think this is the easiest to understand. This one can either be keeping count of how much time Sunny has spent rotting in his bed, or the time he has left before moving away. Or both. Why not.

17- Incubation (aka reef area)

Personally, I find this room to be the most disturbing out of bs1. I t makes me think of a lab really ethically-questionable. Brings me memories from the plague dogs, so surely that why it irks me so much. I think this relates to how the hs friends are artificial, ‘lab made’, so artificial you can get as many copies as you want, carefully researched to be ideal for Sunny’s haven. Replaceable. Kinda ironic, considering how much Sunny values his friends. Surely in real life he must think he could never have different friends and the idea of making new friends must be foreign to him, if he doesn’t outright reject it. He could never replace his friends. In headspace though, he has done so many times, and it could even be said that the hs friends are already more of a replacement than just ‘reliving the good times.’

18-Neighbor playground (aka neighbor area)

Generally, the word neighbor can be associated to Kel, Hero and Aubrey. This is the only room of bs1 where the friends show some level of conscience, at least comparing them to the mannequins, though their dialogue is… unnatural. Like they are reciting, and they know those lines are the ‘greeting’, but they don’t remember the order. Are they defective? Or maybe corrupt is a more accurate word.

A playground is a place where children play at. It also could be refering to the playground of headspace, that could be considered the ‘home’ of all the hs gang. After each adventure, they eventually go back there. It makes sense this place is at the center of hs, since that’s what its bases are: games, adventures, having fun. This is accentuated even more in the hikikomori route, with ‘Playing forever’, music exclusive of this route, a tune that leaves it pretty clear that this idea of Sunny playing forever in his mind isn’t anything good.

One of the hard truths that Sunny must accept is that he isn’t a child anymore and he cannot spend his days simply playing. To keep pretending, to keep latching onto the old times that are gone only will cause him even more harm.

This idea of harm can be related to how aggressive the friends are here. The hs friends in general have become harmful, and maybe the failed attempt of these ones to welcome Omori is a demonstration that Sunny cannot connect with them meaningfully. Sunny needs a real connection, thing that the hs friends, for as much as they are fabricated to Sunny’s idealization, they can’t give him that. Actually, maybe that’s exactly why they can’t, because relationships are two-ways streets, and his real friends aren’t perfect nor their lives circle around Sunny 24/7. The hs friends never encourage Sunny to improve at anything nor make any effort in anything nor learn to solve problems that may arise nor learn to compromise or communicate. They don’t have their own hobbies nor aspirations on their own and much less do they change. The longer Sunny stays with them, the more damaged his ability to form relationships with actual people deteriorates.

Another interpretation to ‘neighbor’ is to imply something belonging to someone else, something that can be lent, but that isn’t owned. ‘Someone else’s playground.’ Headspace itself is someone else’s playground, and that ‘someone else’ is Sunny from the past, a time where he was an innocent child that could spend all day playing with his friends, because that’s what children do. The Sunny from the present isn’t that person, nor this ‘playground’ is his place anymore, no matter how much he wants to go back nor how much he pretends through Omori that he’s still that child. Accepting this is hard and painful, but is the only way he can make a place in the world where he fits as he is, and above all that adapts to his actual needs. Letting go is the way Sunny can start looking for what he truly needs.

19-Temple (aka church of something)

Temple is defined as ‘edification used for religious worship of a god or gods.’ It is specifically about a physical place, while ‘church’ has more meanings. Speaking of church, that was the place where Sunny saw Mari for the last time, where he was meant to say goodbye forever… but he didn’t, considering one of his conflicts is that he has to accept Mari is gone.

I’m gonna make an exception with this room and also analyze it’s more well-known name, since I find it interesting. Like I said, ‘church’ can have various meanings, for example, at least in christianity, it can refer to the christian community as a whole. Then maybe it could be considered a synonymous with religion, ‘religion of something’ , then. A religion is meant to tell you how to live, what values to have and what’s good and bad, right? Among other things, sure, but I’ll focus on that first one.

Maybe is a bit of an stretch, but maybe ‘church of something’ could be related to how Sunny’s life was torn to shreds after the incident, or more specifically, how ‘something’, the trauma, now dictates every aspect of his life, his choices, his self and his relationships, or lack of. His day-to-day is heavily influenced by fear and guilt. Even headspace, purposely meant to keep any reminder of what happened at bay, wouldn’t exist, at least in its current form, if it wasn’t for the trauma. Whitespace, headspace, blackspace, redspace, reality, everything in Sunny’s life is influenced by his trauma. How does the ‘church of something’ tell him to live like? Running away, is the only way to get some reprieve from the pain. What kind of person must he be? Omori, because is the only way he can live with himself. Overall, this goes with the most negative aspects of religion.

He can let his fear influence his choices, too, such as when Kel knocks on the door. Sunny wants to be with his friends, that has never changed, it is what he wants more than anything in the world, and here he has a friend, right behind some wood, but his fear, of confronting his friends are different people, of comparing himself to how they have changed when he hasn’t and gaining perspective of how truly fucked up he is, can prevent him from reaching out.

Obviously Sunny doesn’t ‘worship’ something, but is not like he can simply one day just go and say he won’t let these things have a hold of his life anymore. It takes work, and this is the room where the ‘internal work’ that Sunny has done, so to say, manifest, or the lack of it condemns him. Here, is where he either sets on the path to keep living by how ‘something’ dictates it, or defy it and eventually have a chance at letting Mari’s memory rest in peace, together with the childhood and innocence she represented, things that Sunny doesn’t have anymore, but by letting go of what he doesn’t have, he can rediscover what he still has, the kind of person he is: someone creative, quiet, good at listening, someone who can make a positive difference in the community (going with the universally loved route) and which, overall, is much more than his trauma.

I kinda think I could have worded all that better and that I may have gone off the rails, but Im tired. forgive me. why is this nearly 5k words.

To finish this, here’s a summary:

1-suspense/static world: sunny’s dread for a future filled with pain. Sunny’s vision of the world being clouded by his misery, where he can only see pain.

2-subconscious spill: sunny’s overwhelming feelings eventually reaching him. Sunny becoming even more dependent of his coping mechanism, to an extreme point where he loses control.

3-looping black field: numbness, dissociation. Sunny’s act of imagining he’s in a better place than he actually is.

4-neighborhood: lack of belonging and community.

5-forest of stumps: the aftermath of mari’s death. Sunny’s home being a shadow of what it used to be.

6-cat dissection: sunny’s intrusive thoughts. Sunny being afraid of himself and the damage he could cause, even if he doesn’t mean to.

7-watermelon path: a warning that if sunny keeps chasing after empty quest/goals in headspace, he will fail at doing what actually matters.

8-scribble/pink beach: sunny rejecting the reality that the good times of childhood are gone.

9-spider forest: what was once familiar, home, is now nightmarish, infested with fears.

10-safe spot: headspace beginnings, when it had a more benign purpose and gave reprieve and to sunny when he couldn’t find it anywhere.

11-meat room: the friend’s personalities are butchered to create the hs friends.

12-Construction at the lake: Sunny desperate attempt at building a sense of normality after the disaster.

13-fish out of water: Sunny feeling that he doesn’t belong in his own world, or that he’s even a person.

14-Basil’s raft path. How sunny and basil’s relationship was like after the incident, comparable to a make-shift raft. Basil’s attempt at offering comfort to sunny.

15-twoside: sunny’s inability to accept himself for who he is, the good and the bad.

16-time: sunny’s dread for the past of time.

17-incubation: how sunny has replaced his friends with artificial copies.

18- neighbor playground: how the hs friends damage sunny’s ability to form relationships with real people. In general, Sunny’s latching onto a reality that doesn’t exist anymore.

19-temple: how trauma has affected every aspect of sunny’s life.

[crimsonophelia]

I came across this blog by pure chance and to say I’m in love with your work would be a COMPLETE understatement <3 If you don’t mind, could I request an imagine involving Diluc and a femme maid reader? The reader has feelings for Diluc, but knowing the consequences of what would happen if she were to even try anything with him, she instead devotes all of her love and care into her work—cooking him extra hearty breakfasts, staying up late well into the night to welcome Diluc home after his duties as the Darknight Hero and to help patch up any wounds he might have acquired, etcetera—entirely unaware of Diluc subconsciously picking up her signs and slowly growing fond of her for it.

It all comes to light when the reader makes a passing comment about being excited to take care of Diluc’s children someday. (“Well, who wouldn’t be excited to take care of their own children?” “...My own children? I was talking about your children, Master Diluc.”) And Diluc promptly ends up struck with the realization that he can see no one else take care of him and his future family better than the reader herself (as his wife, perhaps? 😉)

I apologize if my request was a little specific, feel free to absolutely take any creative liberty with it—just the honor of you writing it would be MORE than enough. Thank you, and I hope you have a truly wonderful day! <3

featuring: diluc x fem!reader

warnings: none

published: april 23 2021

form: imagine

a/n: anon you’re so nice i’m gonna cry TTTT but really, you flatter me, and i also love this request. diluc deserves soft domesticity. i hope you like it, my dear! <3

mondstadt around windblume festival was always quite busy. the knights were busy setting up the decorations around the favonius headquarters, and all the local businesses were preparing for extra-heavy business during the season.

dawn winery was no exception. the ragnvindr family, led by young master diluc, made lucrative incomes during this time of the year, what with all the young lovers courting one another left and right, feeding the city’s wine, restaurant, and flower businesses. the winery also leveraged its monopoly on mondstadt’s most diverse selection of wines and spirits, and hosted numerous winery and vineyard tours throughout the course of the windblume festival. 

needless to say, the staff and owners of the dawn winery were not short of chores and tasks that needed to be completed in order to prepare for incoming business. you were certainly no exception, as a maid of the winery, and by extension, the ragnvindr estate. 

you were tasked with decorating the interior of the winery with various floral arrangements of what they liked to call “windblumes”, but in reality were just a number of other flowers that vaguely fit the description. the rest of the maids were outdoors, preparing the vineyard for the wine tours and marking which barrels of wine would be made available to visitors on the wine tours.

though you were rather abashed, you hoped that this would be an opportunity to find some time to be alone with master diluc. you would never openly admit to yourself your painful longing you felt for the master of the estate, the beautiful man with the flaming hair. regardless, it was unbecoming of a maid to think such things about her employer. having a roof over your head and a stable income was already more than you could ever ask for.

but you couldn’t help but to feel a certain way whenever the young man occupied the same room as you, his presence so large yet so humble, always conscious of those around him. ever since he was a boy, when you had first met him, he had nothing to offer but kindness.

it was years of him returning to the estate in the ungodly hours of the night, covered in cuts and bruises, in which you patched him up, never asking more than “where does it hurt the most”, during which you fell for him as fast as his bandages turned as bloody red as his silken hair.

it was years of you two sneaking glances at eachother, summers in which you and the maids were out under the sun, counting the season’s harvests, where you would catch diluc’s eyes roaming you and only. and when you met his gaze, he would turn away, bashful as a naughty child, and cheeks dusting a rosy pink, almost as dark as the grapes he so loved to walk amongst.

leaving your memories and returning to your duties, you continued to string up the lanyards of cecilias and lilies across the darkwood of the winery foyer. the flora was indeed, quite pretty, although their lightness did clash a little with the dark and brooding mahogany bookshelves you were pinning them onto. reaching up to try and place some cecilias onto the top shelf, you realized that your fingers could only reach a few inches short of the top. dammit. you would have to go fetch the stepladder from the storage closet.

as you were about to turn around, you noticed an arm from your peripheral vision reach up and place the flower up onto the upoer shelf with ease.

“good afternoon, [y/n]. these decorations look lovely. good work.” flashing you his uncharacteristically warm, familiar grin that he seemed to save only for you, diluc finished stringing up the rest of the lanyard across the parts of the bookshelf he know you would be too short to reach.

“good day, master diluc. you flatter me.” you turned away, ashamed at your own girlish excitement. “i hope your work is going well?” the formalities exchanged between you and diluc had become almost like a secret language, one always being able to effectively distinguish the other’s true feelings, beneath the saccharine emptiness of upper-class etiquette. yet this time you hoped he wouldn’t be able to read the fluttering of your heart through your words.

“hm. quite well, indeed.” the man stepped back from where you were working, and looked at the room, as if assessing every nook and cranny with his usual, critical glare. he wasn’t wearing his usual leather suit and fur jacket. today, the young master donned a sharp, three-piece suit, always neat and pressed. perhaps he was ready to go into the city to take care of winery business.

he looked around the foyer, squinting as if looking for something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“is something the matter, master diluc?” you questioned. did you place the flowers asymmetrically? or perhaps there was too much space between the shelves and the potted cecilias.

“[y/n], do you ever feel like the winery is too empty?”

confused, you shook your head. perhaps now wasnt the time to bring up the emptiness left behind after master ragnvindr, senior, passed away. you always felt for diluc, and master kaeya as well, after their shining light of a father left the world. diluc had never been the same since then—you had caught him looking through childhood photos in the estate library when he thought nobody else was present.

“well”, you started, choosing your words carefully, “when the time comes for master diluc to have a family of his own, the estate might feel a little livelier then. and i would be very excited to nanny the future generation of ragnvindrs as well, if you’ll excuse my preposterousness.”

the man blinked, as if trying to make sense of what you just said. “nanny? dont you mean-“

oh. diluc sensed that he might have made a mistake. but yet, it made such perfect sense. in what universe could he accept [y/n] not being the mother of his children, the pillar keeping both himself and this entire estate afloat? certainly not this one.

the realization dawned upon him, as well as the regrets from years of inaction in his past. he wasn’t about to let someone else slip through his fingers. not again.

“say, [y/n], my dear. how do you feel about going into the city with me tonight? i have some business i need to run and i’d be much obliged if you accompanied me.”

a/n: aaaaah im pretty happy with how this turned out, and i hope you like it too! i wasnt able to go with your prompt word for word, which i hope is okay. the whole time i was literally imagining scenes from downton abbey lolol

[ta0ken]

koikee-kork asked: HEYO its me again ahah :lipbites_respectfully: (count on me to he painfully oddly specific 🤡) so like,,,, sorry for another genshin req but the character can be easily swapped with a dangan person 👀 ,,, so anemo they/them who's the nonchalant gremlin type interacting with xiao; alternatively, same kind of person w/ dr1 byakuya it can be one or the other, either way, i dont mind. dont force urself and have a good day >:))

⇢ ˗ˏˋ XIAO .ೃ࿐ “...Why are you here again? Leave me alone.”

- you know, at first, he didn’t want to hang out with you. he found you annoying, bothersome, not really worth his time (no mortals are really worth his time, really). - even if you have an anemo vision, he doesn’t care. he really, really doesn’t (it’s just sad, really). - he didn’t want to be your friend, he didn’t want to deal with anything that involved you. - but you kept bothering him, time and time and time again, he didn’t understand. - then you’d offer to keep playing these... games that were considered ‘normal’ to the human standard, but he’s not human. each time you offered it towards him, he would constantly leave you by yourself. - just leave him alone. - for the last time, he doesn’t care about the fact that you want to bother the hilichurls. - xiao would be the type of person to not care about how much trouble you’re getting into, but would be the first person to be there as long as you call out his name. - he would never admit it, but he finds you as a friend or at least, acquaintance. you’re the only person that tries to hang out with him besides the hotel owner of wangshu inn or the traveller and their companion. - in all honesty, he’s not sure if he wants to be around you. - you’re too much of a hassle to deal with, but he also just doesn’t want to lose any more people than he has already (he’s lonely enough as it is, what’s another friend leaving him going to do?). - he will never understand what you wanna do, though. you’re too confusing. - he doesn’t want to deal with them, for he’s too busy nowadays to even bother with the small fry (but maybe you aren’t, he doesn’t know). - he doesn’t even know how you managed to hang out with him or find him, considering he didn’t want to be found. not by you, at least. you weren’t someone he cared for, but maybe... no, nevermind. - either way, he doesn’t want to be your friend. - (don’t) stop bothering him.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ BYAKUYA ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- “Shut up already, you’re making my ears ring with how loud you are.” - as you can tell, he clearly likes hanging out with you. - byakuya is literally the definition of “i hate you, but i’ll hang out with you since i’m lonely” or something like that, in all honesty. - that’s what he did with makoto- - anyway, whenever you go to bother him, he’s constantly berating you just like he does with toko. of course, it’s not appreciated, but hey! you consider him a friend (for some reason), and he deals with your bs. - he doesn’t really like it whenever you bother him to the point that he doesn’t get to do any work, since he considers his work to be very important. - really, he doesn’t want to be bothered in general, but he’ll deal with it. for now, of course. - you sometimes help around with his work, only if you’re not feeling a little bit more annoying/bothersome. - he prefers being alone, after all. - byakuya would be the type of person to do things anonymously, but then also make fun of you for receiving something as “childish” as whatever item you were given or whatever. - he would not pay for your food. - he would, also not pay for any outings that you two might have in the future. - maybe. - it’s not confirmed yet- - just know that he wouldn’t pay for anything you’d ask him for, because he absolutely despises your guts (he doesn’t, he just refuses to pay for you).

[justiceleaque]

Hey Leaque! I know you watched the new Justice League movie and I was around when you were doing the very first DC movie reviews back in the day. I would absolutely love a review of this one if you have the time :)

i've been a fan of Snyder's universe from day 1 so i understand this might be considered an off-balance review already, but i want to note that i didn't come in wanting the film to be good or willing to see it as good despite actual impressions. i wanted to watch it as the Justice League movie i was supposed to get back in 2017, the same one i was willing to not watch for years if it meant Zack Snyder got to finish his vision even later down the line

i was actually as neutral as i could possibly get because at this point i don't have any real emotional involvement in whether this version of the DCEU continues or not. WB execs have done some fucked up things with the treatment of the cast/ray fisher, so i take this as Snyder's DC trilogy and nothing more (which makes it bittersweet for me but that's a different topic)

heavy spoilers follow

it's incredibly comic book-like. i remember typing the exact same words back in the Dawn of Justice days: it doesn't read as a superhero film a la Marvel but as a comic book film. each frame could be a realistically painted comic book frame; the dialogues would fit freakishly well if they had to fit speech bubbles. the damn scene overlaps and changes are heavily reminiscent of a comic book. better yet: of a Justice League comic book. if you’re familiar with comic book events where big things happen and it affects everyone, this is how this reads

it’s a heavy film but it’s not hopeless. i’ve been seeing reviews pop-up already: “ZS’s Justice League film is twice as longe and twice as hopeless” is the maybe verbatim title of most articles. the one thing i kept thinking throughout these four hours is how much hope this is filled with. we’re dealing with a post-superman world that was shaken by the loss of a beloved superhero and you see batman, the #1 comic book superhero known for brooding and darkness and all things sad and bad, be the loudest, most hopeful person in the film, trying to get a team together to save the world, and later on being two steps from literally screaming that bringing back superman is what should happen no matter the cost because of his faith and hope in winning. did we watch the same film?

in the same vein, the 4 hours seem like a stretch until you realize each part has an actual purpose that introduces or ties in important aspects related to the film’s one purpose: take down Steppenwolf and Darkseid. i don’t believe any scene was wasted on useless information. it can get tiring in the way watching a shot tv series gets tiring: it does NOT get boring at any point

such wonderful character arcs. seeing each of the team’s personalities and quirks, the way they clash with each other, the way it makes it all work so goddamn beautifully. the way they click because they just keep interacting so much? Whedon’s cut didn’t give me a team, it gave me five different people in costume that were forced to sort of work in the same vicinity as each other. Snyder’s cut gave me a version of the Justice League that worked so flawlessly together by the end of the film it felt like a dance. felt like comic book page spreads

right before the epilogue they all pose together in the rising dawn, clark included, having won. super reminiscent of the JL cartoon intro. i cried a bit

J’ONN J’ONZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU KNOW THE AMOUNT OF SPECULATION ABOUT GENERAL SWANWICK BEING THE MARTIAN MANHUNTER BACK WHEN MAN OF STEEL WAS RELEASED???? VINDICATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

listen to me. i need to make this clear. listen.  j’onn. j’onny boy. the way he’s designed and cgi’d..........the adorable frown............the kind smile......................his obvious need to make others feel better and to simply help......................i love him

his interaction with bruce only comes in the end and it’s super brief but seeing those two still not know how the hell each other works even in film format is hilarious. bruce having accepted aliens and magic and shit is the new norm after like 20 years of only having to deal with the joker attempting to rob neon green hair dyes or some shit is so much bigger of a character development than i ever expected, especially coming from BvS where he’s just a stupid fat-bat-carrying onion

i wasn’t a big fan of Suicide Squad’s joker portrayal but we get to see him at the end of the film while we’re seeing a possible future where lois lane has died and superman is best friends with darkseid playing tic-tac-antilife equation. Snyder somehow managed to turn jared leto into a disgustingly legit comic-faithful joker. dont’ ask me how

in the same scene they mention jason and his death

: - (

we see a few bits of some green lanterns in some scenes, one from the past and one from a possible ultra dark and edgy darkseid future. still convinced bruce simply willingly did not go looking for hal, which, fair

they cut out the fish joke bruce tells arthur when they first meet which immediately turns the whole film into a 1/10 for me

ben affleck’s bruce wayne and batman continue being my favorite on-screen batman iteration to date. we finally move from the usual dark lone soldier version Hollywood is relentlessly giving us into one that belongs with the Justice League. incredibly heartwarming to see

there’s a scene when the JL are first assaulting Steppenwolf’s base and they’re all fighting parademons and shit and there’s a moment where you see batman fighting the Space SWAT From Hell alone and the way he moves? the way he flows from one position to another and another like i’m watching a damn comic book animation????????? sir????????????????????

barry allen saved them

like, literally, barry allen saved them. superman was back and everyone was ready to dance one final time and they were all going ‘steppenwolf fucking SUCKS’ and steppenwolf was crying to darkseid and then the motherboxes did their thing and they all were obliterated into star dust and then barry allen was like ‘bitch i told you i need FRIENDS’ and turned back time and now they’re all okay again :o)

darkseid @ batman through his magic spacetime portal: i’m gonna get your ass one day soon and take you back in time and you’re gonna eventually bring about the end of the world by having every dark twisted batman invade your universe because you inspired them

batman:

batman:

batman: i haven’t read Rebirth bro

i know i’m forgetting stuff but that’s the gist. hands down one of the best comic book film experiences i’ve ever had. with an aside to barry allen being more of a mix of barry and wally, everyone feels incredibly faithful to the source material. also batman definitely killed like, at least 400 parademons in one night, but pest control doesn’t count

(like. he straight up obliterates them)

(pulls out a batbazuka on them)

(amazing)

[bloodycassian]

Azriel x Reader - Trying. 

TW- DEPRESSION//sadness - Thank you anon for this request. I have struggled with Dysthymia for almost my whole life. It felt good to write this little piece of representation. 

Nothing but a ghost. Like the two wraiths that waited to serve you at your command. The wraiths that had nothing to do. Granted, they had tried pushing food on you, or books or paints or whatever other form of entertainment or sustenance but you ignored them. Knowing that if you had put up the fight to say anything you may lose your control completely and break down. You could let the time pass, numbly without a care. It was better than having to deal with the reality of not being alive at all.

  Rhysand had set you up in a beautiful room in the house of wind after the village attack. You could see the entire city below and the ocean beyond. It did nothing for you. If he was hoping for some kind of gratitude he didn't show it. He simply explained the house would provide if needed and that he would check in weekly. You were surprised he wasnt asking for more - that he wasnt going to try to get any information from you about Hybern's forces on the continent. After months of war you had become numb to the idea of peace. It never seemed like an option anymore. Perhaps the two generals he had brought with him to save your village had gotten all the information they needed.

  Weeks of sleeping later and you felt your eyes getting heavy again while looking out to the Sidra. The bright city below seemed buzzing with excitement about the upcoming summer solstice. You couldn't wait until you could go to bed. The tower of books on the table beside you casted a shadow over your feet, then your legs, up to your arms. Until finally, it was dark on the balcony, the stars above twinkling like the white caps on the ocean. Dread twisted in your gut, and you slowly got up, letting your body adjust to the change. Dark spots edged in around your vision.

  You could feel the chasm open inside you. The pit of loneliness - the empty void of demons waiting to take you as soon as you dropped your guard. The head rush from getting up made you want to vomit. The acid in your stomach churned, burning up to your throat. Fasting for so long would make Rhysand force your hand to eat, you knew. But you couldn't bring yourself to even try. You felt weighted, like there was a tired blanket over your being and you couldn't get it off no matter how hard you tried. The demons pulled at you.

The pain was good though, a solid reminder of why you would not eat. Why you could not eat. You did not deserve such a pleasure. You doubted you could stomach anything more than crackers anyway after weeks of fasting. Rhysand was not subtle with his advances of trying to get you to try food when he visited. The smell of some of the treats he brought made you gag at times. Your stomach howled at you now though.

  The knock on the door didnt surprise you. It was time for the high lord's weekly visit where you would tell him everything was fine and you didnt need anything. And he would try to get through your shields, and there would be a flash of disappointment on his face at the obsidian stone you would slam down on him. Then he would leave. And you could let the sting of that disappointment burn you alive until you were on the bed sobbing.

  "Enter, your highness." You smiled to yourself slightly, knowing the title would bother him. The voice that came once the door opened made you whip around. Not Rhys. "Actually..." The spymaster. The general that had guarded your village while the other barreled through the enemy lines. "Rhys was busy. He sent me instead." He stood in the doorway, tentatively.

  "Oh.." You felt your cheeks go red at the embarrassment of him seeing you like this. From the defender of your village to..what? A tired being that craved nothing more than to simply not exist anymore? "What is he doing?" You asked out of courtesy only. You were used to the high lord seeing your mess of a room, but Azriel was.. different for some reason. You walked over to the bed and kicked the sheets under the frame. Attempting to tidy up even slightly. The rest of the room was a mess of clothes and empty containers, drink cups. Nerves made your heart race.

"Nightmares?" He asked, stepping inside and closing the oak door behind him. He leaned on it, arms crossed over his chest. His simple tunic seemed to eat the light in the room, not reflecting a thing.

  Your face burned. You felt your eyes sting. Clearing your throat you nodded, folding your arms over your middle. Your ribs seemed to jut out more now that he was watching you. You watched him, as his shadows snaked around his shoulders and curled around his ear. They searched the room. You sighed, going to the closet beside him -ignoring the mirror mounted there- and pulling out a folding chair. You placed it next to your own, facing out to the starry sky. You sat in the familiar padded chair, leaning on the arm rest. The half cup of cold tea next to the book tower rattled slightly on its plate as he approached. A bubble of tranquil quiet seemed to encapsulate the area. A feeling you recognized as relief flowed through your bones. You felt the tension in your body fade slightly. You breathed a bit easier, like he was taking a weight off your chest.

He sat next to you for a long while before he spoke. "I used to hate night time." His voice was level. You tore your eyes away from the most interesting spot on the floor where you were thinking of nothing to look at him.

  He kept his eyes out to the balcony, a cool wind gusting through. His wings were folded in tight behind him, the shadows coiling over everything in the room. The trees below sighed at the caress of the breeze. The night seemed to finally speak as he spoke. He brought his hands together in front of him, rubbing over the scarred texture there. "I would hear absolutely everything in that basement. I could tell when night fell, even without windows. I could hear the beasts hunting outside, or my bastard father getting drunk and-" His hands clenched, and you thought you heard his teeth grind together. "He was a cruel male. To everyone, even my half brothers."

  A shudder rippled through you. You wondered what he had done to Azriel, if his father was cruel to his more beloved children. They had forced him into that basement, even when they knew first hand how Illyrians craved the sky. He knew of total darkness and silence - of pain that seemed to stretch on without end. He knew loneliness, he was locked up with it for the first part of his life. His shadows circled around your ankles like a cat, like they recognized you. Your voice was little more than a whisper as you spoke. "I dont even know whats wrong with me." You were relieved your tears didnt spill over. They pricked your eyes but you blinked them away.

He was quiet, taking in the information. "I didnt either until I found out what a shadow singer is." He paused, glancing at you as you tucked your legs up under yourself. "It dosent mean anything is wrong, it just means you need help sometimes. To figure out exactly what you need." He stood from the chair and flexed his wings, the shadows collecting around him like a puddle.

  He held a hand out to you, patient even while you considered. Getting out of the chair seemed like so much work with such a tired body. Tired soul, tired spirit. Anything beyond existence seemed like a complete burden. But his hand there, waiting, unwavering. Challenging. it made you sigh and finally, stiffly get out of the chair that housed you. The chair that had sucked you in, prisoned you for months.

His smile was stunning. His dark eyes seemed to light up. He led you on to the balcony and leaned over the railing. The pines far below rustled with the breeze. You swore you could hear the Sidra as well, bubbling with the current over the rocks. "How did you get out?" You asked, your eyes locking into his. He looked at you without sorrow, no fear or judgement lurked there. Just that half smile that had stayed since you stood from that chair.

"I was.. released by my father, but I still had to battle the darkness that I had learned. It wasn't until I met Rhysand and his mother that I began to... cope." He contemplated for a moment, his wings moving slightly with the wind that came through. "I'm familiar with what you're feeling. I ask that you try. I can come back again if you'd like." He left it as an open ended question, not as a demand or promise.

  "Just try? You're not gonna make a checklist for me?" You mocked, he just shook his head. "I think I would like that." You answered. At least he wouldnt pester you as much as the high lord did. At least he could bring this feeling of relief to your bones. He nodded, and the shadows seemed to spike, receding from the room and joining him, wrapping around his body and melding him with the night. "I'll be back tomorrow, then." He said simply, raising himself on to the balcony railing with ease.

  You nodded, wringing your hands with nerves as you watched him flare his wings, preparing to fly. "Dont let the bed eat you, Rhys wouldn't be happy if I had to break more of his furniture." He said over his shoulder with a wink. You felt a fleeting smile come to your lips as he jumped, wings catching him as he glided on the wind. You made a note to yourself to ask what other furniture he had ruined.

  He disappeared quickly, the shadows and the comfy bubble of silence gone. When you closed the door to the balcony and turned back to your chair, there was a plate of crackers and fruit waiting there. Your stomach rolled at the thought. Instead, you went to the closet, putting his chair away. You made a mental note to get a different seating option for him, to accommodate the wings. Knowing he was coming back, you saved yourself the future embarrassment and began picking up your clothes, putting them into the corner bin where they disappeared. You didnt pause long enough to check to see if the clothes were reappearing clean in the closet, you just kept cleaning. Trusting the house to understand you were in fact, trying. You dared not pause, knowing if you stopped there wouldn't be a beginning again.

  You went as far as requesting a mop and bucket from the Wraiths. They were wide eyes with shock at your room, at your abruptness. But they said nothing about it, just bringing you the items you requested and then some. Naula snuck in a plate of meat and cheese, leaving it next to the crackers on the end table now that there was more room with the book pile cleaned up.

  You requested the extra chair. They promised it would be in the room by morning. You made your bed, and once you were satisfied with the shining floors you stood back to admire your work. It looked like a different space, clutter gone and the books organized again. You had given the cups the Cerridwen before they left, thanking them both.

You went to your chair, hesitant to sit. The wear marks on the arm rests and the seat were apparent. Instead, picked up the plate of fruit and crackers and took it to the bench at the end of the bed, picking at the more neutral fruit as you went. A spark of something bloomed in your chest at the thought of Azriel coming back. Of what his reaction would be at the clean look of your room. You dared to hope that he would notice at all. Something told you though that he would consider this trying. He made it sound so easy.

  The bed welcomed you, clean sheets caressing your legs as you fell into the most peaceful sleep you had in a long while.