#just saw the date and realized the trip i've been planning is in two months now !

[quaranmine]

waow....trip in two months :]

[thesirencove]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･𓆜 A DATE AT THE AQUARIUM -- SAM WINCHESTER X FEM!READER

a fluffy fic for once !! i've been wanting to go to the aquarium for a while now , and what better way to fill that piece in my heart than a cute , fluffy sam aquarium date fic ?! i hope you all enjoy this one :)) thank you to riri (@rrylies) for beta reading and helping me with my fishy madness -- ILY !!!

my requests are open and if anyone wants a part 2 , let me know ! :)

sam winchester x fem!reader (romantic)

summary: reader has been on non-stop hunts for a while and needs a break . she loves going to the aquarium , so what better way for sam to cheer her up than an aquarium date ? :)

warnings: none !

word count: 914

the aquarium was always her favorite place to go. there wasn’t much normalcy in the hunter life, but a trip to admire the fish always restored a little sense of peace in her heart. something about the aquarium always made her feel calm, and ever since her childhood her love for marine life had been as wild as she was.

after four months of hunt after hunt, that feeling had once again started to disappear. it’d been a long time since she last got to take a trip to the aquarium, and she was starting to miss it. she missed the dark environment, the subtle noise of the water sloshing around as she shivered and rubbed her arms from how cold it was. she missed it so much, yet didn’t expect to be going any time soon because of how many hunting trips she and the winchester brothers had been taking. 

so when sam, her most loving boyfriend, told her to get ready because they were going out for a while, to get out of the continually shrinking walls of their motel room, she thought nothing of it. she assumed they were just going for a drive, maybe they’d stop and get something to eat along the way. and when she realized sam was pulling into the parking lot of an aquarium, her eyes absolutely lit up. 

sam looked over to her, noticing how she shifted to sit straighter in her seat. her hands were clenched by her side on the seat in excitement, and she was grinning from ear to ear. he couldn’t help but smile at how excited she looked, the look in his eyes overflowing with love.

“please tell me this is real and not a dream,” she blurted out. sam chuckled at her response, taking one of his hands off the steering wheel to lightly pinch her.

“not a dream, sweetheart. we’re going on an aquarium date,” sam said, only to hear y/n quietly squeal. 

they pulled into a parking spot, y/n practically jumping out of the still running car after sam hit the brake. sam turned the car off as fast as he could, locking it and walking towards y/n near the sidewalk. she was bouncing on her heels, smiling up at her boyfriend as he stopped next to her. he held his hand out for her and she rose up on her tip toes to kiss him. he leaned down, his lips meeting hers, and she smiled once again to break the kiss.

“thank you,” she whispered, her eyes sparkling as they looked into his. 

“anything for my girl,” he murmured back, pulling her along towards the aquarium. they bought two tickets, and got their hands stamped with a blue fish to allow them to enter. 

as they made their way through the exhibits of fish, y/n couldn’t stop looking around her in awe. she would stop and watch as the fish swam by, pointing at certain ones and telling sam what kind of fish they were. at one point she saw a shark, one of her favorite marine animals, and pulled sam away from the fish they were looking at to see the shark. he laughed at how giddy she was.

they reached a smaller exhibit of fish, admiring the coral and all the smaller fish that swam in and around the coral. at one point, y/n noticed a small orange and white fish – a clownfish.

“sam, look at that one! it’s a–”

“nemo!” sam finished her sentence, though that wasn’t at all what she was planning on saying. she giggled, shaking her head.

“a clownfish! nemo is a clownfish, though, so you got that one right,” she said, turning her head back to look at the fish again. 

this time, sam pointed at another fish, coloured with red, yellow, and orange. its face was spotted two shades of red and its body had orange and yellow stripes. three black dots traced the middle of its body back to its tail. 

“what’s that one called?” he asked her, looking intently at her for the answer. 

she kept staring at the fish before saying, “that’s a blackside hawkfish! they’re actually really popular in aquariums, and it’s mostly solitary. it eats crustaceans, so like shrimp or krill, and small fish! it’s also a really cool predator, it’s an ambush predator, so it sits and waits until prey swims by, so it can dart out and eat it! and they’re sequential hermaphrodites, so the adults are all females except for one, and if that one dies or something then the largest female hawkfish becomes the male. they’re such cool fish. and isn’t it pretty?” y/n said, ending her long-winded rant about the hawkfish. 

sam kept looking at her, his expression soft as he watched the way her face tipped up and the way she stared in awe at every fish that passed by. 

“yeah,” he said, still looking at her, “the prettiest.”

in that moment, he realized he wanted nothing more than to marry her.

he wanted to put that ring around her finger, hear everyone call her y/n winchester, have her officially be his. he was already thinking up the plans – where to buy that proposal ring, where to get down on one knee.

soon, he promised himself, soon. perhaps they’d hold the wedding by the sea, so he could watch her face as she glimpsed at the fish in the water.  

[httpwintersoldier]

『you are him. || winter soldier x reader』

pairing: winter soldier x f!reader words: lenghty summary: you get tangled up in paralel affairs as the Winter Soldier makes you part of his mission.

Unbeknownst to you, the Winter Soldier watched you from afar. Intently.

How would you know? Going unnoticed was what the soldier was best at.

At first it was just a mission. The Winter Soldier was to "eliminate" your husband, whom was working in uncovering the HYDRA officials hiding in the government. He was a cockroach that HYDRA wanted to eliminate before it became a problem, and as per usual, they used the Winter Soldier to do so.

He was tasked with a recognition mission first. The Soldier was to take note of what your husband had come to find out, what leaks and what careless acts lead to certain people being uncovered. And then. after acquiring the knowledge, he was to kill the man.

However, there was a hiccup in the plans: you.

The Winter Soldier first saw you when he had entered your home to look for your husband's work files and you came back to the house because you had forgotten your phone, and he knew, then and there, that he wanted you. No, he yearned for you.

Ever since then the Soldier would make sure to delay the mission as much as possible so he could admire you.

Every time your husband looked at you, touched you, kissed you... it enraged him. But what infuriated him the most was how he'd often ignore as creature as beautiful as you, how he would exchange you, for his work. The work that would soon lead to his demise, no less. It made him glad the man would be gone, via his own hands.

The problem lied in the fact that, for the first time, the Soldier didn't know how to act, how to proceed in the face of an objective set by himself.

That was, until a perfect situation opened the doors for the Soldier to swoop in.

"You're leaving?" Your voice sounded hopeless, as you stared at your husband's back when he began putting on a coat.

"Yes! I just got the most amazing tip about someone I've been tailing." Your husband's voice was excited, seemingly missing your sadness and anguish, something that had been common the past few months.

Your husband went on and on about his job, and how this particular trip might be what "seals the deal" as he stuffed clothes and documents in a trolley, but all that was background noise as you tried your best to hold back the tears, the realization hitting that your marriage was falling apart, that it was falling behind in your husband's priority list.

One week. A one week trip, he told you, among other useless information about the trip. And one week apart wasn't the end of the world, it wasn't a long time, really. The problem relied in the fact that your marriage anniversary was in two days. And the worst of all was that your husband hadn't even apologised for leaving near such a special date, because he didn't remember it.

He didn't remember anything that wasn't related to work. It seemed like he barely remembered you at times...

The man that you once called your best friend and soulmate, left, with nothing but a quick kiss and a chime of "see you in a week".

You headed towards your (not so often) shared bedroom with heavy steps and let yourself fall on the bed. You needed to give yourself some time to break down and cry, to let out all the sadness, anger, anguish and hate.

After a solid hour of sobbing and finishing off the tissues on your nightstand, you decided that you needed to recompose and get your mind off of the situation.

You were in your kitchen attempting to cook up something that would make you feel a little better and less tempting when a shiver ran down your spine.

You felt as if someone had entered the room, as if someone was watching. But you knew that was impossible, your husband was gone and so you were alone in the house. Or so you thought.

When you turned around to look for something in your pantry, when you were met with a figure.

A tall man, wide and scary looking, staring directly at you.

Your only reaction was to gasp and back up against the counter, which your held onto for dear life.

With widened eyes and a heaving chest, you analized the man. Thick combat boots, tight black pants, a leather top, a metal arm... a metal arm? You recognized that. You knew who that was. Fuck, you were tired of hearing about him.

The Winter Soldier. Your husband's favourite HYDRA "myth". He'd go on and on about his story, and how people thought he wasn't real, but he believed the Soldier wasn't just a story.

And now he stood in front of you.

Your arm reached out slowly, your index finger pointing in his direction as it shook slightly.

"You're... You're him. The Winter Soldier. You are the Winter Soldier."

The Soldier was a little surprised you knew who he was, and that you recognised him with such ease.

But the man didn't reply, he simply stepped closer, until his body was pressed against yours and he was looking down at you.

You were frozen in fear. Obviously you didn't know what to do in the presence of a hitman, a mass murderer. If he was there to kill you, you were already dead.

He reached behind his head and undid his classic mask and glasses, letting them fall to the ground.

Wow.

The man was... beautiful. His face was well sculpted, and his jaw-lenght dark hair brought out and complimented his icy blue eyes, and he expression on his face was authoritarian - it intimidated you... In a good way.

"You're here to kill me." You said, accidentally voicing your thoughts.

What other reason could there be for the man to be in your house, standing in front of you, showing his face.

"I'm here because I want you."

His voice was low and assertive, and if he could be any scarier or any more intimidating, that would be the reason.

You gulped, as you tried to process the sentece.

"You want me... to join you? You want to take me to HYDRA?"

The Soldier almost chuckled at your innocence, and the way that you could possibly think that he showed up in the middle of the night and trapped your (barely covered) figure with his body because he wanted a recruit.

The man's fingertips made their way up your naked thighs, slowly riding up the flimsy t-shirt that covered you.

"No, Y/N. I want you." He whispered in your ear, emphasizing his intentions by hooking one finger in the waistband of your panties and letting it snap against your skin.

You couldn't think of a moment you had been more aroused, other than that very second.

You had married your husband out of love. Out of the purest form of love. So pure that you overlooked the inexistant sexual tension. There had never been a moment where you felt like you needed your husband, a moment when your skin burned under his touch, a moment where you wanted to beg for him. He lacked the dominant, possessive side that you sometimes wished he had.

And all that he lacked, all that you wish your husband was, was standing right in front of you, waiting for your confirmation.

Arousal spread between your legs and you couldn't help but press your thighs together, hoping of the elast bit of friction.

You wanted to say yes, you wanted to let the Soldier take you and do with you whatever he pleased, but the constant flashing image of your husband in your head stopped you from going ahead.

"I understand. I will come back, you know which day it will be." The Soldier paused, inching his lips closer to your ear "And when I do come back, I will fuck you dumb. I will fuck you so good you'll forget all about your husband, and all you'll be able to think about is my cock."

And with that, he vanished. The Soldier was right in front of you, but still, he managed to vanish into thin air, and you had no idea how.

"You know which day it will be". And know you did. Your anniversary. He would target you on the day you were loneliest and saddest, and yet he was cocky to the point of giving you a heads up. He assumed you'd stay home and wait for him. And you would be lying if you said you hated his confidance and arrogance, it just suited him.

That night when you went to bed, you kept thinking of the man, of the way he made you feel, and, above all, the way he touched you. You couldn't help the tingling finger in your body as you remembered his touch, and so your fingers sneaked inside of your underwear. You rubbed circles in your clit, fingering yourself not longer after.

Even if he wasn't physically in the room, he was still the one that made you cum, as it was the image of his face, his fingers and his cock that made you climax before you drifted off to sleep.

The next few days you thought of him too, and although you couldn't see him, you were sure you could feel his presence.

One thing the Winter Soldier managed to do was revive the excitement you had for the day of your wedding anniversary. You now wanted the day to come, but there was a dilemma burning in your head: should you do this, or remain faithful to a relationship you were in on your own?

Yes, your husband ha dbeen completely neglecting you for the longest time, and he constantly ignored your needs and pleads, but could you really do this to him?

Yes. Yes you could. And all doubts ceased to exist when you went into your bedroom and the Winter Soldier was sitting on the arm chair by the corner of the room, awaiting you.

Your husband had been selfish for the longest time and would continue to be, and now it was your turn.

"Fuck!" You said loudly, placing a hand over your heart as you spotted him.

The Soldier smirked and stood up. His strides toward you were long, as if he was impatient to touch you.

"Already screaming for me?" He asked, cockily, as he placed one hand on your waist and the other on your cheek.

The man slightly tilted your head up, and licked his lips.

"Have you thought about my proposal?" The man asked, bringing you closer to him.

"It didn't sound like a proposal." You replied, your eyes glued to his lips.

Upon hearing the snarky ironic reply, the man knew he had the green flag to go.

"You're right, it wasn't."

Right after those words came out of his mouth, his lips attached to yours, kissing you as if the world was about to end. Both his large hands found their way to your ass and squeezed it, pulling your crotch towards his in the process.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and didn't hesitate in moaning into the kiss.

You could feel his semi-hard cock pressing against your hip, and teased him by rolling your body against his. The Soldier replied with a low grunt and delivered a slap to your ass.

He guided your body towards the bed and had you lay down.

You didn't know his name, however you seriously doubt he'd tell you.

The man stripped you from your nightgown with ease, grinning when he found you had worn no panties.

"Ready for me, were we?" He asked with a smirk, fully knowing he was right.

You didn't get to respond, as he parted your folds with his fingers and you immediately gasped. The fact that you hadn't felt someone else's touch in a long time was evident.

The Soldier experimented entering you with one finger, slowly pumping it in and out, before adding a second one. He could see from the look in your face and the way you gripped the sheets that you'd be cumming very quickly, so he knelt down and began sucking on your clit, as he added a third finger, stretching you out just enough to get you ready for what was to come.

One of your hands remained gripping the sheets, but the other found its way to his hair.

"Oh my- fuck I'm gonna cum." You warned him, and so he slightly quickened the pace, until a particularly loud scream and your arching back told him you had reached your climax.

The Soldier stepped back and undressed, giving you time to come down from your high. You watched in awe, as he revelaed a body that seemed to have been sculpted by Michael Angelo himself.

He then climbed on top of you, pressing desperate, sloppy kisses all over your naked body, ending with a long kiss to your lips.

The Soldier's shaft rubbed against your folds, teasing to enter you at any time.

"Please... Please fuck me." You begged, desperately wanting him to keep the promise he had made days ago.

"Anything for you doll." He said and then paused as he gripped your waist and aligned his tip with your entrance "You ready to be fucked dumb out of your pretty little mind?"

His tone was cocky and condescending, and fuck did you love it. It was the best switch-up from the goody-two-shoes attitude you were used to.

"Yes, please!"

Those words were the key for the Winter Soldier to bottom out inside of you, and you swore you saw stars. Your back arched, and you let our a loud moan, one that you didn't know you were capable of, it sounded pornographical.

His hips snapped against yours, and your whimpers and pleads for more mixed with his groans.

The Soldier was filled with ecstasy, finally being able to fuck you, to be inside of you, after yearning for it for so long. He bent down to kiss you as he fucked you, and the way your nails attacked his back almost made him cum in you.

He loved the way it felt, he loved how you were marking him, and so he did the same. His lips sucked and bit on your neck, making sure that the evidence would be there the next day.

"Shit doll, you feel so good and tight around me..."

You brought his lips to yours, brushing away the hairs stuck to his forehead due to the sweat.

The Soldier would often slap your thigh, bringing you closer and closer to your high again.

"Fuck princess, I'm gonna cum."

"D-do it- I'm so close." You pleaded, breathlessly.

The man picked up the pace in which he fucked you, and not long after he bottomed out inside of you and came, as did you. He kept a grip on your thighs (and you were sure it'd leave a mark), and you held onto his shoulders.

He placed a kiss on your cheek, and rolled off of you. You both laid there for a second, regaining your breath. You closed your eyes for a second and when you looked to your side to ask him if he would stay, he was gone.

And so you were left wondering and wishing he'd come back.

[TAGS]

@browneyedgirl22

[cowboybarzy]

aaah hey could i request for a blurb with barzy in singapore? im from there and i cant wait to see what you’ll come up with hehe i love your writing so much :-) have a great summer!!

tysm for your request! always love seeing you in my notifications <3 hope I did well!!

this is the end of the world trip! thank you to everyone who requested and everyone who followed along! here is the masterlist of the world trip for your convenience :)

disclaimer: I don't know much about the country so I've looked a few things up on google and obviously used google translate (lang. used: malay). please please lmk if anything is wrong (translations or anything relating to the culture). I'm always open to learn and already did a bunch from my quick google search haha I've been on a few websites that shared traditional foods and now I need to go asap and taste everything!! EDIT: one very kind anon reached out and gave me a little history lesson/clarification so here is what they had to say!! ty anon!!

📍singapore with mat barzal

"Oh my god, it smells amazing in here," your boyfriend Mat exclaimed when you entered the small restaurant.

"I know," you answered, your face lighting up at the familiar scent. "It's my favorite place ever."

The hostess, a close friend of your grandmother, light up when she saw you walk in. "(Y/n)! ia telah begitu lama. Tengok awak. Awak sangat cantik." (It's been so long. Look at you. You're so beautiful.)

You smiled, catching up with her quickly and finally introducing your boyfriend to her.

"Selamat berkenalan," (It’s nice to meet you.) he said, his pronunciation a lot better then when you practiced with him on the plane ride.

When you were finally seated, your favorite table of course, and immediately started looking through the menu. Almost two days ago you and Mat had made it to your home country, Singapore. After a year of dating, you were ready for him to meet your family back home and show him where you spend most of your childhood. Mat was very excited for you to show him everything and was a very good sport when eating all of the cultural foods he was not used to. He loved exploring and expanding his food palate.

"You've already had the chili crab, but this place does it better than anywhere else, so you can have that again if you want." You translated the menu for him, but he wanted something with rice or noodles. "Then I'd do the char kway teow. It's pretty traditional stir fry based dish. I think you'd like it."

"Ok, I might take that then." He looked around more, still deciding on what he's in the mood for.

A server, also someone you knew, then came over to take your orders. You gave her yours, then looked at Mat, unsure if he had made his final decision. "You ready?"

He nodded, then looked at the server. "Saya tolong minta char kway teow." (I will have the char kway teow, please.) Your mouth dropped in shock. How did he just say this sentence, pronouncing the words almost perfectly? The server nodded, then left towards the kitchen.

"What?" He grinned.

"How did you know how to say that?" You were still shocked, but a smile crept over your lips. You had taught him a few words here and there, but not how to say whole sentences.

"Oh, I didn't tell you?," he asked innocently. "I've been taking duolingo lessons since we've planned this trip." That was almost three months ago. Tears coated your eyes when you realized what that meant.

"Mat." He smiled, taking your hand in his.

"I just thought I could impress your family a bit. And you, by the looks of it." You broke out in a small, emotional laugh.

"I want to squeeze the crap out of you right now. And kiss." He laughed and kissed the palm of your hand.

"We can do that later. How about you let me have my last meal first?"

[fairycosmos]

Can you and your followers let me know if I'm be dramatic by being upset about this? Sorry for how long this is and for it being worded like a reddit AITA post.

A very close friend (as in I've known her for 5 years, we lived together during uni, etc etc) and I made plans back in like January to see a musical in August and we already bought tickets (which are expensive) and I've been openly very excited about it because it's a musical I've wanted to see for a while. Then, in May, she met this guy (now her boyfriend) and after a few weeks of knowing/casually hanging out with him, he asked her to go with him on a trip the same weekend we were planning to see the musical. And she agreed. Now, despite the fact that I've easily been her closest friend throughout uni (and I literally would always cook for her and clean after her without reciprocation) she has deliberately avoided telling me about any details regarding her relationship and also didn't tell me about the fact that she's bailing on our plans. She told another Mutual Friend and told her to not tell me because she wanted to break the news herself. But that Mutual Friend did end up telling me because one day I was ranting about how she's been keeping me out of the loop of her new relationship and barely speaking to me. So I knew for a month now that she's bailing on these plans and was just waiting for her to openly tell me. Then yesterday she accidentally revealed it without realizing in a group chat, and when I asked her privately she didn't even say sorry she just said that she completely forgot and got the dates mixed up. Which I know isn't true.

On top of that, two weeks ago was my birthday, and around like 7pm, I told Mutual Friend that this friend hadn't wished me yet. And she got really upset about it but I didn't want to make it into a big deal. And then that friend ended up wishing me at 11:30pm and said she was at training all day at work, which I knew was bs because who trains for 12 straight hours and because I literally saw on Twitter that she had tweeted multiple times earlier that day so she had access to her phone. But I let it slide. And yesterday, Mutual Friend revealed to me that she actually had to remind this friend that it was my birthday because she was afraid the day would pass by without her wishing me and didn't want my feelings getting hurt. Am I crazy for letting all this upset me? I'm happy that she's found a boyfriend but she's literally been icing me out since then. It's normally very difficult for me to get my feelings hurt and I feel so dramatic being this upset about a birthday wish and a cancelled plan but idk. I want to confront her about it but I've been told that I should just keep my distance for a while.

hey i don't think you're an asshole for this - something that did cross my mind is that maybe ur friend is in a sort of controlling or unhealthy relationship with this person? just based on how shes been isolated from you, someone who is rly close to her, and how distant she's been since getting with the guy. ofc that's a very worrying and nuanced situation to have to confront and that's a big assumption on my part -it truly may not be the case, and even if it is, obviously as an outsider looking in obviously there's only so much you can do to try to get through to her. butttt if right now it just seems like she's gotten into a new relationship and put your friendship with her entirely on the backburner with no explanation, then i think your feelings of anger and hurt are entirely understandable. i've honestly been there myself so many times like when girlfriends get boyfriends and suddenly you're basically invisible to them. it's sooo discouraging and hurtful and you feel like a freak for being sad about it but still you're sad about it. and while obviously people's priorities change when they get into a relationship, it's not ok to neglect all of your friendships just bc you're seeing someone, you know? i completely see why you're upset and i don't think you need to feel like you've done something wrong for simply questioning her recent behaviour. especially when it comes to that expensive gig!!! she should've had the respect to come to you herself about that if she was cancelling, point blank. i would be pretty pissed myself in ur shoes. it's obviously entirely up to you where you go from here, and i guess i can't answer that part for you as i don't know the ins and outs of your circumstances + dynamic with her -- but whatever you need to do to ensure you have your own best interests at heart here is alright. whether it's taking time or talking to her or a mixture of both. and btw this is just my singular perspective ofc so maybe im wrong or missing something. sending so um grain of salt and all that, but yeah that's how i see it. sending a huge hug your way. x

[dorefasolsido]

43. Omg it's been a while

10 HOW’S

How did you get one of your scars?

Two years ago I was rollerskating with my sister and a tiny rock got stuck in my wheels, so I basically flew forward and slid headfirst into some debris. Luckily, I have plenty of experience falling on rollerskates, so there was no significant damage, but my elbows were hella scraped. So I still have a scar on one of them.

How did you celebrate your last birthday?

I didn't do anything for my birthday, really. I wasn't feeling it anyway, and one friend was celebrating her move to Germany on that day with a picnic, so I just went to that instead. But I am planning to do something for this one! I haven't received any presents in two years lol

How are you feeling at this moment?

Pretty good right now! I finished all my work for this month, so I can take a bit of a break, and thank god for that.

How did your night go last night?

Well I was working my ass off until like 1:30 AM lol. It's not that I had to, but inspiration hit hard, and I couldn't let it go to waste.

How did you do in high school?

Pretty well in the academic sense, that was never too difficult for me. Very poorly in the social sense, though I did have some friends, only one of which I am still in touch with today.

How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?

I think my mum bought it for me ages ago, it's probably from my high school days.

How often do you see your best friend?

I saw her last in 2018 since we live in different countries, and lots of things came up in the meantime that prevented us from visiting each other. I want to do that soon, though.

How much money did you spend last month?

I feel like I was more thrifty in June? Aside from the Scandinavian trip I paid for, I think I tried to contain myself a bit.

How old do you want to be when you get married?

I don't want to get married.

How old will you be at your next birthday?

I'll be 29 very soon.

9 WHAT’S

What is the most important part of your life?

Hmm, my family and my writing. I do a lot of the latter, but mostly not for myself, which is something I want to change.

What did you do last weekend?

I was working throughout the weekend (the joy of end of the month deadlines), and aside from that, nothing special. For the past week I barely even left my house because I am on a socializing break, and it's been so wonderful.

What did you last cry over?

I don't really remember tbh. But I must have cried recently because June is somehow always such a bad month for me. So I was in a pretty gloomy mood before I went on my socializing break. But that has been really healing.

What are you worried about?

About the book translation deadline lol. I'm not even halfway through, and they already asked me when I am going to deliver it. At the same time, though, I can't force myself to work on it now.

What is your mother’s name?

I'm too paranoid to answer that.

What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?

Run BTS or any BTS content really, driving around aimlessly while blasting music, those awful sweaty dance cardio workouts. And like, renewing my hair colour.

What would you rather be doing?

Right now, nothing. I'm happy I finally got to do this, since I either wasn't in the mood or was too busy for months.

What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?

I guess what would be the most important is just understanding and respecting each other. Everything else can fall into place if those two things are there.

What did you have for breakfast?

Nothing.

EIGHT HAVE YOU’S

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?

Oh for sure. Just recently I've texted someone I know I absolutely should have no contact with. But eh, so far so good.

Have you ever had sex on the beach?

Nope.

Have you ever been backstabbed by a friend?

I don't think I've ever been outright backstabbed, but I've had moments when I realized, yeah, this person is not my friend.

Have you ever been out of the country?

Yup.

Have you ever dated someone younger than you?

Nope.

Have you ever liked someone who already had somebody?

Well yeah, I sometimes get these platonic crushes on taken people lol. I would never do anything about it, and I genuinely think it happens because I know they are unavailable and therefore are "safe".

Have you ever been brokenhearted?

Sure have.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?

Oh yeah, Stephen King's Carrie just last year. It's a short book and it hooked me right in, I spent the whole day in my room just reading.

SEVEN WHO’S:

Who is the last person you saw?

My sister.

Who is the last person that you texted?

My best friend.

Who called you last?

My dad, I think? But I missed the call, and he talked to my sister instead.

Who is the last person you hung out with?

Aside from my sister and grandma, no one in particular in almost two weeks. But I've had more than enough hanging out at the beginning of June.

Who did you hug last?

No idea, maybe my parents when I came home?

Who is the last person that texted you?

My best friend.

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

Oh I have no idea, I don't say that very often.

SIX WHERE’S:

Where does your best friend live?

In Lithuania.

Where is your favorite place to be?

Depends, but right now, I enjoy nothing more than being right here in my childhood home alone.

Where did you sleep last night?

My bed.

Where did you last hang out?

Two weeks ago I met two of my friends at one lake in Belgrade.

Where do/did you go to school?

Elementary and high school in my hometown, university in Belgrade.

Where did you last adventure to?

Well, I did quite a bit of mountain climbing at the beginning of June.

FIVE DO’S/DOES

Do you ever wish you were someone else?

Yup, quite often. Not because I hate my life or anything (well, most of the time lol), but because I would like to experience how it is to be, I don't know, a famous singer, or an astronaut, or an explorer, or all these other things. I can't do all that in this one life, I've chosen my path and I don't regret it, but still, it would be cool to have all these other experiences.

Do you think anyone despises you?

I'm not really sure. I don't think anyone full-on despises me, but I can think of at least one person who might dislike me. Yet, at the same time, she does like texting once in a while.

Do you like someone right now?

Nope.

Does the future scare you?

Eh, sometimes. It depends, sometimes I feel like I can take on anything, and sometimes I have no idea how I'll make it past 30.

Do you have any secret powers?

Not that I am aware of.

FOUR WHY’S:

Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)?

We've been there for each other through good and bad, it's easy to talk to her about anything, and we are both very different but also match really well.

Why did your parents give you the name you have?

I have no idea lol. I think my dad wanted to name me after my grandpa if I was a boy, my mum was against it, but it didn't matter anyway, because I turned out to be a girl. I mean, Mila can be seen as a shorter version of my grandpa's name, soooo, maybe that's why?

Why did you get a myspace?

I actually never had it lol.

Why are you doing this survey?

This looked fun! I like surveys that have some kind of a theme or a special style or something like that.

THREE IF’S:

If you could have one super power what would it be?

Teleportation because ho boy, I could spend a 15-minute break literally anywhere in the world.

If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?

I wouldn't after all.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

Germany (probably Berlin) or maybe Lisbon. Japan is high up on my list of countries I want to visit, but since I haven't gone there yet, I can't say if I'd like to live there.

TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?

Yeah, why not. I mean, hair seems like a small price to pay for someone's life.

Would you ever get back together with any of your exes if they asked you?

Hopefully not.

LAST ONE:

Are you happy with how your life has turned out?

I'm okay with it

[a-court-of-messy-break-ups]

Hi! Could I request a Morrigan x reader fic. They have been sneaking around and secretly dating behind everyone’s back for a bit and the inner circle catches them in a cute moment together. Idk something romantic like slow dancing under the stars or on a cute picnic, it’s totally up to you! And reader can be gender neutral or fem, whatever you would like :)

Morrigan x Reader

Mor had been planning this day for weeks now, she'd make sure to clear everything so her time would only be spent with you. She'd arranged for a trip somewhere in a secluded area, it was a popular destination for vacations and she thought to bring you there for your anniversary.

It took her plenty of excuses and convincing but eventually, Rhysand had agreed to give her the month off, though he did find it ridiculous for her to go on a trip alone for so long especially with the fact that she'd go even without his permission.

Nevertheless, he brushed it off, not thinking much of his cousin. Mor was ecstatic and left immediately making sure to take you away unnoticed, you two had made sure to keep your relationship a secret after all that has happened Mor wanted you all to herself for now and was planning to introduce you around the summer solstice.

The both of you arrived in the small cottage she had bought herself, she wasted no time in undressing you that night, marking your body with her love, that morning you woke up to find her making breakfast herself serving it to you in bed.

You giggled as she buried her face into her chest mumbling a string of sweet compliments, "I've missed you so much, love." she said kissing your shoulder. "You saw me three days ago." both of you grinned as she continued to plant kisses from your neck to your lips then your nose "I will always miss you no matter when we've last seen each other." her mouth pressed against yours as she kissed you.

"After this," she whispered pulling away "There's a lake nearby, would you like to go for a swim later?" you nodded kissing her again, completely forgetting the food she had cooked for you.

"Babe calm down, your food is getting cold." she chuckled at your neediness "I don't mind," with that both of you fell against the bed, you straddled as she held you tight kissing you soft but passionately.

Her hand found its way down your ass, groping it as yours roamed her hair.

Suddenly you heard the door click and an abrupt gasp, you realized someone had walked in and you jumped off your lover as Mor let out a groan glaring at the intruder.

"Why the fuck are you all here?!" she yelled out, eyes wide you stared up at the inner circle as they looked at Mor and you with both confusion and amusement. You noticed the High Lady blush as she continued to stare until she turned her face to her mate.

"You said she'd be alone!" the High Lord chuckled an awkward response, "Well you can't really blame me, darling, Mor wasn't really honest about it." the Shadowsinger glared at you, "A heads up would've been nice." you moved to Mor who looked like she was about to explode "Why in the name of the gods would you even come here in the first place!." she yelled back at them.

Elain, who was a friend of yours spoke up with wide eyes "We wanted to surprise you..?" her answer was more of a question as General Cassian looked between you two "We thought you might like some company." your face grew red as you realized the position you were in, though Mor had a dress shirt on you were completely naked underneath the sheets.

"The brochure for this place looked nice too," his mate spoke as if mocking you, this time making a small whine leave your lips "Oh for cauldron's sake get out all of you, you're bothering her," she grumbled moving the blanket higher up so you could hide more.

Lady Feyre spoke again this time with a teasing tone, "Alrighty then but after this, you have to talk to tell us who exactly she is." your partner looked at you as if asking permission you just nodded since there was no point in hiding things now. "Right, now go before I end up hitting all of you." they left the room, "Lock the door next time!" the second in command yelled as the door shut, your face still red as you thought about the current situation.

"No privacy." your lover huffed as she glared at the spot the inner circle had occupied, "I'm sorry about them love," she leaned down to you leaving a few soft kisses all over your face. "I shouldn't have told them where I was going, to be honest." you smiled at her "It's okay," your head left the sheets meeting her lips in another gentle kiss as she wrapped her arms around you tight .

"We should get dress, no?" she asked looking down at you shaking your head, "They can wait, it's the least they could do after interrupting us."

Mor smirked as you stood on your knees straddling her again, her hand took a lock of your hair kissing it with a grin "Right, they can wait."

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Californian Dream (Pt. 04 of 11)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Being part of one of the richest families of California doesn't mean you're happy. Your life is boring, and you're surrounded by meaningless people and their meaningless talk. Even during Summer, with the break you have from college, there's nothing good going on. Nothing but the new pool guy, Billy, the most handsome man you ever saw. You were successfully avoiding him, not wanting to act like an idiot in front of the guy until Billy accepts to be your date for a fancy gala you're forced to attend. The night was going well, even better when he sneaked you out to go to the beach. But a gang of criminals breaks into the party, kidnapping the heirs to the wealthiest families, which includes you. So, for your safety, your parents want you to stay with Billy, living in his apartment until the criminals are caught. And that could take weeks, maybe even months.

Warnings: Light violence

<- Previous part (03)

Next part (05) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

×

Distance

In the morning, you tiptoe to the living room, but everything you find of Billy is a small note left on the kitchen table. He's at work and must be back by 5 or 6 pm. He said you can make something for lunch, and that he'll bring dinner. So, now that you're alone, you can't help but think. The names of those who died to keep playing back, and Gisele's is the one that comes louder. You feel bad for all the times you were mean to her, when you left her talking alone, storming away. But it's useless to feel this way now. It won't bring her back.

You're pacing around the living room, the news channel on, as they repeat the same things over and over. When you put both hands on your head, out of desperation, you feel as Billy's shirt lifts a little, exposing your thighs. And you realize you'll need clothes. And all your personal stuff. “Ame.” You mutter, going to the phone and calling home. As usual, it's Amelia who answers, and she squeals, happy to know you're fine. After telling her everything that happened and where you'll be staying, you start giving the instructions. Well, she's the one to point out what you'll need and how to cover up who you are.

The goal is to remain hidden, but you won't be stuck inside the apartment. So you need to look different, and for that, Amelia advises you to buy new clothes, normal clothes, instead of using the ones you have. And she kindly offers to buy everything you'll need and bring them over later today. She'll also bring all of your personal stuff. And money. Amelia tells you to keep some money with you, in case you need it. You're not sure what for, but you agree.

She gets here after lunch, with three huge pieces of baggage, and she helps you drag them to Billy's bedroom. Then, after you change out of Billy's shirt, she shows off the last part of her plan. Amelia wants to dye your hair and cut off a few inches. You don't think it's necessary, but she's worried about the situation, and for the sake of the woman who raised you, you let her do it. Once she's done, she helps you clean the bathroom before leaving, giving you a tight hug and asking you to keep in touch and be careful.

Then the rest of the day is pretty boring. You do give some trips to the bathroom, just to check the hair. It's nice having your natural color back, but you never thought it would be in these circumstances.

You're watching the news again, seating on the couch, when the door opens. Turning your head, you give Billy a small smile. When his eyes find you, he furrows his eyebrows. It takes a while for you to understand why the confused expression.

“Oh! It was Amelia.” Quickly, you explain, standing on your feet and noticing the pizza he brought. “I called her and she helped me get some stuff done and well...” You gesture at your hair. “I've been bleaching it since Elementary school so I bet nobody will recognize me now. Amelia is probably the only one who remembers my natural color but... This is it.” You're speaking too much, and maybe a little too fast, but you're not sure why. “What do you think?”

He squints his eyes, moving to put the pizza on the table. “I think you're already planning on going out.” Well, obviously. He can't possibly expect you to stay locked up in here.

“I was talking about the hair, but ok.” Shrugging your shoulders, you gesture at the pizza. “Can I eat it?”

“Yeah. I'll take a shower.”

“I'll wait for you then.”

“Alright.” Billy stands there for a few seconds, awkwardly, before walking to the bedroom. “The hair is good, by the way.”

“Thanks.” You mutter, smiling a little.

“(Y/N)!” He calls out suddenly, startling you. “Why is there a bag full of money on my bed?”

“Oh!” Rushing to his bedroom, you find a very confused Billy. You left the dark blue bag on the edge of the bed, and you completely forgot about it. “Amelia said I should have money with me, just in case I need it.” Running a hand through your hair, you sigh. “But, uhm, if you need or want to buy something, you can, I mean... It's fifty-seven thousand dollars.” Reaching out inside that bag, you take one of the many piles. “Every pile has one thousand... So if I fall and break a bone you can use it to pay the hospital.

“Break a bone? Should I worry about that?”

“Just trying to light up the mood.” Giggling, you glance at him. “I won't jump from the window or anything. And those are my things.” You gesture, at the pieces of luggage. “Amelia got me new clothes. Normal clothes, not the expensive ones my mother makes me buy.”

“Amelia has everything figured out.”

“She does... I'll let you do your stuff.” Nodding to yourself, you walk away. You can't help but feel a little weird with all this, and the sensation of being nothing but a bother to Billy is starting to kick in.

You patiently wait for him, watching the news again. And the content of the tape was finally made known. And it's not good. Everyone was expecting a normal rescue. They'd say how much they want, get paid, and let the kids go. But apparently, that's not how it'll be.

“(Y/N).” The mention of your name startles you, your heart skipping a beat, and that's when you notice how focused you were. “Everything alright?”

“No.” You breathe out as Billy turns the TV off. “They have thirteen kids, right? It means they want thirteen parts. They'll let the media know how much, and when they get paid, they'll release one. Whoever they want. It doesn't mean that the Whaylands will get James out if they pay up.”

“These guys know what they're doing.” Billy looks down, thoughtful. “This will create chaos between the families.”

“Yeah... I'm even glad I'm stuck here because I wouldn't want to be anywhere near that mess.” Standing from the couch, you move to the kitchen table. “Can I?”

“Sure.”

Drumming your fingers on the table, you sit down, thinking about everyone they got. Alice, James, Daniel. Melissa, Candace. Michael, Antony, and Ryan. There are more... But you can't remember. Where are they now? Are they hungry? Are they being treated nicely? You doubt it. By the violence those men showed, they're not being nice. It could've been you, who knows where now, maybe starving, terrified... They're not your friends. They're just people you know, but still, you want them all back, alive and well. You want to hug them, to talk to them again, even if it means being part of their superficial conversations. You just want to have the chance to.

“Hey,” Billy calls, and you snap out of your thoughts, noticing you were biting your lip too harshly. “You ok?”

“Yeah.” Muttering, you take a slice of pizza, taking a bite.

“What did you have for lunch?” The question comes in a careful tone. Low and steady. He knows what you're thinking about.

But you can't answer it. It only hits you now that you haven't eaten anything all day, and the pain in your stomach is only surrendering because you're eating now. So you clear your throat, giving Billy a look. “Uhm... I haven't.”

“What?” He puts his slice down, a serious face on. “Couldn't you find anything you like?”

“That's not it I... I was watching the news all day and the police did next to nothing.” Gesturing at the TV, you sigh. “And I just can't understand how those big ass vans just disappeared into the night. It's just... One of the three people who were in the hospital died. Five of those working in the kitchens died in the explosion. They found the bodies today, and I just... I just wasn't hungry...” Maybe you should just say the last part. Billy doesn't need to know how desperate you feel.

“(Y/N), you gotta eat. What would your father say if he knew–”

“Billy, I need you to stop thinking about my father.” Cutting him off, you push some of your hair back, out of your face. He has to stop doing that. You don't want to be a job, you don't want him to see you as someone he has to look after. “What? Do you think I'll give him daily reports on my routine?” Making a pause, you take another bite, now a little annoyed. When you swallow it down, you stare at Billy again. “Day one. I woke up in Billy's bed, wearing one of his shirts. He left a cute note. I spent the whole day watching the news, freaking out a little, crying a little. Them Billy came back and brought me pizza.” You make sure to sound as annoyed as you feel. “Day two...”

“Maybe you should do that.” He says, those blue eyes locked on yours. Why is he staring at you like that, so intensely? Is he doing that thing again, trying to understand you? Because he always succeeds.

“Maybe you're crazy.” Shaking your head, you focus on the pizza again, silently finishing your slice. It might be so weird for him. Billy doesn't bring girls here, and here you are, invading his private life, stealing his bed. “The bed is yours today.”

“Alright.”

“Yeah...” As you take a second slice, you remember the gala. From the moment he picked you up until right before the explosion. It was easy talking to Billy, you didn't have to think before speaking. It was... Good. Effortless. You couldn't stop smiling, and you did wish you could hang out with him more. You felt free from all the rules and regulations, finally able to be someone genuine. Not the fake version you present to people.

But now... It's weird, uncomfortable. You did expect it to change as the days go by, but it didn't.

You started to count, obviously. Day three, day four... And it only got worse, if that's even possible. He always brings something to dinner, and you eat silently on the kitchen table, only to sit on the couch for a while, as far from the other as possible, and watch TV in silence. It's like two strangers sharing a roof, and you slowly give up the idea of this being something good. It isn't. Billy doesn't want you here, that's pretty clear. And it got even more obvious after the weekend. You told him he could go out if he wanted to, but he didn't. And it was just the same. Few words were spoken, a cold distance kept. He's like someone else entirely, not the same Billy from the beach.

And on the eighth day, you had enough. So you wait for Billy to go to bed, since it's his turn, and wait an hour before tiptoeing to the phone. Amelia is the only one you can talk to, whose advice you trust. So you call the private line she keeps in her bedroom, nervously biting your lip as you wait for her to pick up.

“Hello. Who's this?”

“Ame. It's me.” You whisper, giving the hall a look before turning around, leaning against the wall. “I'm sorry to call so late but I needed to talk.”

“Of course, honey. You know you can call me whenever you need.” When you were at the house, you used to bug her even late at night when you needed help, or just to rant about something. She was always there. “What's going on?”

“Uhm... Ame, this... This isn't working. Living with Billy is... Complicated.”

“Why?” You hear something in the back, maybe a glass being put down. “I remember you were getting along just fine since the day he saved you from drowning.” She giggles. “I saw you going around with him, laughing and chatting.”

Sighing, you shake your head a little. It was different back then. You don't know how, but you know it was. “Yeah, but he just... It just...” Damn it. Of all people you know, if you had to pick someone to do this, as crazy and insane as it is, you'd pick Billy. In any other house, those mansions, you'd have to act on your best behavior, participate in those formal rites for every meal, be always polite and kind. Here, you thought it would be better. You thought you'd have fun, as you used to on those days, with funny comments and quick remarks. Now... You don't know. “Billy doesn't want me here.” You burst out, keeping your voice low.

“Why do you think that?”

“He's just... Distant. Cold.” Why does it bother you so much? The Billy you met before was the one treating you as his boss. One of the owners of one of the houses he works on. What did you think? That he'd keep the act? “I'm an inconvenience. He's just doing that because my father will pay him in the end and no, I have no idea why it bothers me so much, but I just... I thought it'd at least be nice, but it isn't so...”

“(Y/N), Billy is a guy. I'm sure he's just making sure you don't feel uncomfortable.” She speaks slow, and you start bouncing your leg nervously.

“Amelia, I don't want him to fall in love with me, ok? I just thought we'd become friends or something like that.” The words come out fast, and you're a little pissed. “Billy doesn't want me here.” You repeat.

“Why does it bother you so much?”

“Because I had a nice time with him.” You burst out, throwing your free hand in the air. “He's so different from the idiots I'm surrounded by. I don't have to fake it, I can just say the stupid things that come to my head and I never had anyone I could be myself with. And God, I was so stupid to think this would be fun, or...” Taking a deep breath, your voice fades as you collect your thoughts. Moving from the wall, you start pacing around. “I'll just look for some apartment to rent, Ame. I don't want to be–” The sentence is cut short when you see a figure standing by the end of the table. Your eyes go wide, a hand on your heart as you recognize Billy, arms crossed, his eyes on you. “Ame, I'll have to go. Talk to you tomorrow?”

“Alright, honey. Try talking to Billy before making any decisions.”

“Ok. Good night.” You mumble before hanging up. Swallowing hard, you step back, leaning against the countertop. “Did you... Hear anything?” That's a stupid question, of course he did. He wouldn't be looking so pissed if he didn't. But it doesn't matter. This gotta be over soon, so you both will feel better.

“From the very beginning.” He says, tilting his head at the phone. “Heard you talking to someone and decided to check.”

“Ok.” Nodding to yourself, you look down at your feet. “I was thinking and I believe it will better if I look for some place I can rent around here. But don't worry, I won't tell my father so you'll still be paid.” As you speak, you make your way back to the couch, but Billy grabs your arm, forcing you to stop.

“So you think I don't want you here,” Billy mutters, his face lit up by the bluish light coming from the TV. He's gorgeous, so gorgeous that it's hard to say something to his face.

“That's crystal clear, Billy.” Giving your arm a pull, he let it go. “You said it yourself, you don't bring girls to your place and you were forced into having me here and I totally get that you don't like it.” Turning your back at him, you sit on the couch, eyes on the TV, but not paying any attention.

“You got it wrong.”

“I don't think so.”

“I just...” He makes a pause, so long it makes you look up at him. “I'm trying to give you some space.”

“Well, you gave me so much space it actually feels like I'm living alone.” Angrily, you move to lie down, fixing the blanket on your legs. “It'll better if I just move out.”

“Listen, I know you don't like this place.” Billy turns the TV off, and if it wasn't for the dim light coming from the street, you'd be in complete darkness. “It's tiny, your bedroom is bigger than this apartment.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“Remember when the railing of your balcony was broken by a storm? I fixed it.”

You remember it. There was a huge summer storm, and a branch was ripped from a nearby tree, knocking down half of your railing. When you came back home on the next day, it was fixed. But you'd never guess it was Billy. “Thanks.”

“You don't have to thank me for doing my job.”

“Goddamn it, Billy.” Kicking the blankets away, you stand up. “Stop treating me like some rich chick! Stop putting words in my mouth and stop saying I can't thank you for doing something!” You're yelling, despite the late hour. The neighbors won't like it. “You never asked me what I think about your place so you can't possibly know if I like it or not. And yes, thank you for fixing my railing, thank you for keeping my pool clean, for cleaning the leaves, for... Hell, for sheltering me! But it's getting tiring. I thought you'd treat me like a normal girl like you did on the beach, but I get it now that it was just an act so I'll just leave.” That said, you're already in motion, not sure why. But you're unlocking the door and storming out, furious, easily finding the stairs and rushing down.

“(Y/N)!” Ignoring Billy, you don't stop, wiping some tears that escaped when you push the building doors open, the fresh night air making your breath in deeply.

You're overwhelmed. There's nothing new about the kidnappings. The criminals asked two million dollars for the first kid, but that was it. The police can't seem to get any closer to finding them, and the same goes to the many private investigators on the case. And the only good thing that came out of this shit, being with the only person on Earth with who you felt like you could be yourself, backfired. You feel stupid, deceived. Walking down the sidewalk, you roll your eyes when you hear the building doors banging, quickening your pace.

“(Y/N).”

“You wanted to give me space. Then give me some freaking space.” Your voice is cracking, which only makes you feel more like an idiot.

“Alright. I'm sorry, ok?” He raises his voice, and soon enough he's grabbing your arm. But you push him away until he let it go. “I shouldn't assume you would turn out to be like the other girls. You're not like any of the rich kids I met.”

“You don't have to do it now. You made everything very clear.”

“Would you listen?” Billy furrows his eyebrows, stepping back, a hand on his head. “I have this habit of expecting the worse, it always kept me from being caught with the guard down. But I'll admit I was wrong about you.” Avoiding his gaze, you pace around, not sure if you want to believe it. “I had a nice time with you too. That was the worst party I've ever been to, but it was good to know there's someone from their world who isn't completely rotten on the inside.”

You don't know why but the insult makes you giggle. But it's only because he's right. The fact that they're being held hostage doesn't change how some of those people are mean and rude. Their situation doesn't change who they are. And, being born into what Billy called ‘their world’, made you see the worst side of everyone. Money corrupts weak minds, you've seen it. The more they have, the more they want.

“Fine then...” Finally turning to face him, you sigh. “What now?”

Billy reaches out his hand, and you look at it, not moving yet. “First, let's get inside. You're in pajamas in the middle of the sidewalk.”

That makes you laugh, looking down and taking in the leggings and the baggy shirt you're wearing which leaves one of your shoulders exposed. “My mother would literally squeal if she saw me now.”

“She doesn't have to know.” That makes you smile even more, and you feel like you just got a glimpse of the Billy you were with at the beach. So you take his hand, breathing in, and letting him guide you back inside.

×

@multific @dontxfearxthereaper @nope-thanks @nikkixostan @shinydixon @clockworkballerina @infinitelycharmed23

[alj4890]

Misfortune's Intentions

(Liam x OC*Elisse Millan) (Drake x Riley)

A/N A couple more months have gone by. Liam and Elisse have attended many of the same events in Cordonia, gradually getting closer to one another. In this chapter, they begin the necessary steps toward a more personal relationship. Liam also has an honest conversation to the two that he once trusted the most.

@gkittylove99​ @krsnlove​ @kingliam2019​ @texaskitten30​ @hopefulmoonobject​ @yourmajesty09​ @mom2000aggie​ @ofpixelsandscribbles​

Masterlist

Chapter 3 Heart’s Honesty

The Royal Palace, Cordonia...

Liam looked up when he heard the murmur of feminine voices passing by on their way to the solarium.

Creeping towards the cracked door, he peeped out to see who it was.

He caught just a glimpse of Olivia, Riley, and Madeleine turning toward the right.

Curious yet not wishing to get caught up in conversation with any of them, he settled back in his chair and continued to review a trade proposal Elisse had given him from Amalas.

Monterisso's queen was not going to wait around on Riley's baby in making inroads toward a strong, beneficial relationship between their two countries. Since the pregnancy had been announced a couple of months back, Liam and his close knit group of friends had spent numerous events speaking to pushy foreign monarchs.

The only bright side to meeting so often, were the moments he had with Elisse. They were few and far between and much too short to satisfy him. A dance shared, a few words spoken here and there, possibly a shared smile over a private joke. All ended up making her the first person he searched for when entering into a room.

"Would you like me to bring a tray in here, your majesty or would you prefer having lunch in the dining room?"

Liam looked up at one of the footmen. "A tray, please." He called the man back. "Is there some gathering this afternoon?"

"The Queen Mother is hosting some ladies for tea in the solarium." The footman replied.

"Ah." Liam tried to focus. "Do you know who she invited?"

"I know some, sir."

Liam cocked an eyebrow, trying not to be impatient.

"Duchess Riley is the honored guest." The footman began to go through the usual name of Cordonian ladies. "Queen Isabella and Queen Amalas have also arrived."

Liam grit his teeth at not hearing what he wanted to most. "Did Queen Amalas bring another lady with her, by chance?"

"I'm not sure, sir. Should I go inquire?"

"No." Liam muttered. "Just bring my lunch in here, please."

"At once, sir." He bowed and left the king alone.

"There you are."

Liam nearly cursed. "Drake. Join me, won't you?"

"Thanks." He sat down on the couch across from him. "Haven't seen much of you recently."

Liam held up the documents he was reading. "Kingdom business."

"Ah." Drake drummed his fingers on his pants.

Liam tried to tune him out.

"Riley's having a tea party with Regina and a few others."

"So I've heard."

"Did you know the Spy Queen has returned?"

"Yes." Liam responded. "So did Auvernal's queen."

Drake ran a hand through his hair. "So, uh, have you gotten anything out of the spy that has taken up residence nearby?"

Liam lowered the documents. "Spy? What are you talking about?"

"Your investigation with Queen Amalas’s cousin." Drake narrowed his eyes. "That is why you are spending so much time with her isn't it?"

"Lady Elisse is more of a messenger between me and Amalas." Liam bit out.

"I've never seen you make sure to share most of your dances with messengers before, much less spend anymore time than you have to."

"I am doing exactly what I promised." Liam informed him. "I am taking time to get to know her. All these new events have limited my chances to be alone with her."

"Alone with her?" Drake leaned forward. "Why are you wanting to be alone with her?"

At this moment, Liam did not want to admit to Drake that he believed he was ready to try and fall in love again. He had yet to actually have a real date with Elisse, much less kiss her. He also wasn't certain her own feelings about taking that next step.

She seems to like me, he thought. Is it more than a friend? Or am I simply fooling myself like I did with Riley?

"Li?" Drake waved a hand. "Still with me?"

Liam closed his eyes. "Yes, sorry." He cleared his throat. "If I am alone with her, then she will be more inclined to talk about things she would never feel comfortable doing at a crowded gathering."

Drake slowly nodded. "That's true. Sounds like a good plan."

A plan to test her and see if she feels as I do, Liam thought.

"Are you going to try and get her alone after the queen's tea?"

Liam's eyes widened. "Elisse is here?"

"Well, yeah." Drake tilted his head slightly. "Liam, you sure there isn't anything wr--"

"Positive." Liam excused himself. "I need to put these papers in the study. Feel free to call down to the kitchen for an extra tray for lunch."

***************

The Solarium, Royal Palace, Cordonia...

What would I do without all these pastries?

Elisse gratefully took another bite of a strawberry tart. If her mouth was full then she wouldn't be pressured to talk.

Which was a good thing considering how she felt about Lady Riley Walker.

It nearly turned her stomach at how everyone was complimenting the waitress turned duchess. There was only so much bowing and scraping for attention Elisse could stand.

Especially to someone who had hurt Liam so horribly.

It didn't take a mind reader to realize that the reason Cordonia's king was not actively courting or planning on having little princes and princesses of his own was sitting across from her, gushing about what kind of father Drake would be.

"He has already promised to take all the late night diaper changes." Riley giggled.

Elisse didn't bother to hide her eye roll, earning a slight kick from her cousin.

Amalas sent her the look that somehow conveyed the reminder that they were trying to gain favor with the woman carrying the royal heir so stop making faces at every little thing she says.

Feeling somewhat chastised for possibly letting her cousin down, Elisse averted her gaze and poured herself another cup of tea.

How much longer are we going to have to sit here?

"Bradshaw would have fainted dead away if I remotely asked him to change one of the twins diapers." Isabella's brittle smile formed with the mention of her husband and children.

Elisse's eyes narrowed somewhat as she studied Auvernal's queen. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but there was something not quite right. She cut her eyes to Amalas, wondering if she too was seeing this.

Her cousin tucked a lock of her own hair behind her right ear and gently tugged on the earlobe.

Elisse returned her attention to the conversations, satisfied with that secret signal that Amalas not only saw it but was planning on investigating it further.

"What about you?" Riley asked.

Elisse glanced up and realized that all eyes were on her.

"I'm sorry." She stammered. "Did you ask me something?"

"Can you picture your husband changing diapers?" Riley prodded.

"I'm not married." Elisse forced a pleasant smile. "It's difficult enough imagining him doing so when I don't even know what he looks like."

"Oh!" Riley glared over at Madeleine. "I'm sorry. I was told you were married."

Madeleine chuckled softly. "Perhaps if you read the reports I give you, you wouldn't make a mistake like that."

Riley ignored her and focused once more on Elisse. She was determined to find out more about this woman who seemed to always find a way to be near Liam.

"Enough baby talk." She decided. "Let's talk romance."

"Zeke is taking me to Switzerland next week." Penelope shyly said. "A trip for just the two of us."

Kiara laughed. "He is so excited about it. It is all he talks of whenever one of us asks him something." She smiled at Penelope's blush. "Très romantique, non?"

"Very." Hana sighed. "You two are so sweet together."

"Anyone else have that special someone?" Riley asked. "Or needs a little help from Cupid to get them to act right?"

Olivia shook her head. "By Cupid, you mean you."

"I do." The duchess replied. "I know all about stubborn men trying their hardest to keep from being with the perfect person for them."

Elisse sat up a little straighter. "Is that how you and his grace got together?" She did her best to make her question sound like polite curiosity. "Did you have to convince him to be with you?"

Amalas stilled. She had been the one to tell Elisse all of what happened during Liam and Madeleine's engagement tour.

Riley had a dreamy expression on her face. "Drake Walker put up quite the fight. It took all my I had to get him to be with me."

"When did you realize he was worth it?" Elisse asked while turning in her chair so that Amalas couldn't kick her again. "Most would have focused on someone who seemed interested."

Olivia snorted in agreement. "I will never understand how you could choose Walker over Liam."

Riley's smile turned tender. "What can I say? He was a complete marshmallow whenever we were alone. I saw past his snark and knew he had to be mine."

"I think it's terribly romantic." Hana added. "He has shown over and over that you are the most important person in his life."

While Hana and Riley went through the list of things that made Drake perfect, Elisse tbought of Liam's actions in each scenario.

"He took a bullet for her." Hana explained to the visitors.

"I will begrudgingly give him credit for that." Olivia grumbled. "That and for helping take Anton down."

Elisse mentally countered that with Liam coming and facing Anton and his minions alone to rescue the couple.

"He sounds like he will be a protective father." Amalas interjected before they continued to extol his virtues. "One that knows the value of family."

Issabella narrowed her eyes at her. "I agree. Which is why I would love to have him as father-in-law to one of my," she took a gulp of tea, "darling twins."

While the two queens tried to sway Riley toward choosing their children, Liam stepped into the sunroom.

Regina looked up and smiled. "Liam dear, would you care to join us for a cup of tea?"

He shook his head. "Thank you, but I came in here for something else." His charming smile flashed to the ladies. "I do hate to interrupt, but I need to speak to Lady Elisse a moment."

She set her teacup down. "Yes, of course, your majesty."

When Liam noticed the curious looks, he explained that he needed her to clarify one of the requests in the document she had given him.

"Perhaps you need Queen Amalas too." Isabella smirked. "Since she is Monterisso's ruler. Plus, I'm certian Duchess Riley would enjoy hearing something other than Prince Josip's darling ways."

Amalas kept her cool and did not rise to the bait. "I would be more than happy to." She winked at her cousin. "But Elisse was such a help to me as I drafted it that she knows it as well as I do."

"We will only be a moment." Liam promised, setting Elisse's hand in the bend of his arm.

Riley, Olivia, and Hana all shared a knowing look.

Regina noticed their exchange and cleared her throat.

"Would anyone care for more tea?"

**************

Once they were out of earshot of the solarium, Elisse spoke up.

"What problem did you come across in the trade agreement?"

Liam's cheeks flushed. "Actually, I haven't seen any problem."

"Oh." She attempted to not let her imagination get away from her. "Then why did you take me away from the tea?"

Liam rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not--that is--I" he chuckled softly while turning to face her. "I guess I simply wanted to see you."

Elisse doubted that anyone could be more adorable than Liam was in this moment.

She smiled and lowered her eyes. "Would it be too forward to say that I had hoped to causally bump into you while here for the tea party?"

"Definitely. Much too forward." He responded in a serious tone.

Her head jerked up and she saw the humor in his eyes.

She playfully pushed him away. "That certainly cured me of ever doing so again."

He laughed out loud, took her hand, and pulled her along with him.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"To my study to look over the documents."

"But I thought you said there wasn't a problem."

Liam opened the door for her. "There isn't. But one must have their alibis in order, m'lady."

"What am I to do with you?" She teased once he shut the door.

Liam allowed his heated gaze to settle on her. Her question sparked his imagination. There were several things he would love for her to do with him.

"Is this where you spend most of your day?" She asked, exploring his bookshelves.

"For the most part."

Her eyes cut over to him. His casual stance as he leaned against the door was one she was noticing happened whenever they were near one another. His image he maintained to the rest of the world was one of proper, ram rod posture. There was rarely any softening or relaxed muscles.

Except with me, she thought.

Still highly curious and a touch nervous, Elisse sat down on a small couch.

"The Queen Mother told us about the ball you're hosting. How are the preparations going?"

Liam shrugged on his way to sit near her. "They must be going well. No one has come to me with any problems yet."

She turned towards him. "Is it for a special reason?"

You mean other than wanting a night where I can easily steal you away?

Liam kept that response to himself. "I suppose it is. Now that Lady Riley has gotten over most of the morning sickness, we can host a ball in honor of the royal heir."

Elisse was unable to control her facial expression. "I see."

Liam's eyebrows drew together. He had noticed that same irritated expression appear whenever the viscountess heard that particular name. "Elisse, do you not care for Riley?"

Her lips parted, ready to admit how she truly felt about the one that had hurt him, only to close shut. She knew she needed to be more diplomatic for Amalas’s sake.

She turned away from him and shook her head. "She seems pleasant."

Elisse was surprised she didn't choke on that word.

"Pleasant?" Liam's lips began to curve.

"Yes." She pointedly looked out the window, knowing he was amused at her answer.

If I look at him, it will all be over, she thought. She had to fight to keep her smile from appearing as he slid closer to her.

"You find Lady Riley pleasant?" He propped his elbow on the back of the couch and rested his head on his hand. "I don't think I have ever heard such a mild compliment toward her before."

Elisse was unable to resist and turned back toward him. He quirked an eyebrow in silent question when she simply stared at his face.

All she could think about was how generous he had been. Allowing Riley to live here to be near Drake. Giving her a title and a castle. Hosting their wedding. Standing as best man. Fighting to save their lives with little regard to his own safety. And now to naming their child as his heir.

Kindness barely scratchs the surface, she thought.

"Elisse?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you thinking so hard about?"

Without pausing to consider if she would end up embarrassed by her answer, she said exactly what was on her mind.

"You."

Liam didn't think any other answer could possibly top that one.

He slid his hand over hers. "I think of you often."

"You do?"

"No." He grinned at her frown. "It is more than often. You are rarely if ever far from my mind."

Her warm smile returned. "I suppose I am the same way."

Liam drummed up the courage to ask her out. "Elisse, would you--"

"Liam, I wanted to--" Riley's eyes widened at the pair on the couch. "Sorry. Drake told me he had seen you come in here. I didn't know you were still reviewing..."she noticed there wasn't one scrap of paper between them, "trade documents."

"We cleared that matter up quickly." Liam kept a hold on Elisse's hand. "Is there anything you need, Riley?"

"Yes, um, the ball. What exactly did you have planned?"

"Is there anything other than dancing, drinks, and food that Cordonians do at balls?" Elisse teased.

Liam chuckled. "Other than taking a moment to obsess over our apples, not really."

Riley narrowed her eyes. Their little jokes and touches were more serious than she thought.

"I wanted to come in and offer my help, if needed." She muttered.

"Thank you, but everything is under control."

Riley hesitated a moment. "Liam, Drake and I were hoping to speak with you," she glanced at Elisse, "privately."

Liam sighed softly. "I'll join you and Drake in the west drawing room in a moment."

"Okay." She couldn't think of a reason to stick around and see what was going to happen between him and the viscountess.

Once she shut the door, Elisse focused on Liam. "I suppose I should find Amalas."

"Not yet, please." He lowered his eyss to her hand in his. "Lady Elisse," he cleared his throat, "I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me one night."

"Of course. I know we should to discuss the terms--"

"Not for work." He quickly interrupted. "I'm asking you for a date."

Elisse wondered if he could hear her heart pounding. "I would love to."

Liam released the breath he had been holding. "Then I will call you this evening and we will discuss the details."

She stood up, suddenly more nervous than she had been. "I look forward to it."

Liam lifted her hand to his lips. "So do I."

***********

"Drake, they were definitely not talking about trade deals." Riley paced back and forth. "He was holding her hand!"

"Take it easy." He placed his hands on her shoulders. "You know stress isn't good for you and the baby."

"What if Liam starts insisting that we sign an arranged marriage between our baby and Queen Amalas's son?" She cradled her small belly. "What will we do then?"

"We'll fix this." Drake reassured her. "Aren't you the one to point out how we always find a way to defeat those that come at us?"

She slowly nodded.

"Then don't worry." He pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. "We got this, Brooks."

The couple looked up when Liam came into the room.

“You wished to speak to me.” He sat down in one of the chairs.

“Liam,” Drake began, “what were you speaking to Elisse about?”

“We were discussing dinner plans this week.”

"Dinner plans? You have a date with Elisse?" Riley asked.

"Yes." Liam didn't bother to hide his smile. "We've had dinner and lunches together numerous times, but..." His voice held a hint of the true happiness he felt. "It has always been work related. I thought it was time for us to be together for no other reason than because we want to."

"But she's the Spy queen's cousin!" Riley exclaimed.

Liam quirked an eyebrow at her. "I know who her family members are."

Riley motioned to Drake to say something.

He cleared his throat. "Li, you know we only want to see you happy." He shifted under Liam's piercing gaze. "But we don't know if we can trust Amalas or anyone associated with her."

"I know I can." Liam's tone held a warning to not push him on this. "Elisse has never brought up the subject of your child marrying Amalas's son."

"She is probably waiting until you get more comfortable around her." Riley grumbled. "Seems like something a secret agent would do. Seduce the target into agreeing--"

Liam's hand slammed down on the end table next to him, causing the couple to jump in surprise.

"That's enough!" He snapped. His kingly authority reverberated within the formal drawing room. "I won't hear another word against Elisse." His blue eyes sparked with fury. "What proof do you have?"

"None." Riley stepped back from his glare. "Liam, you're so trusting that anyone can take advantage of your kindness."

"Yes," his soft tone scared them even more than his shouting. "I can see where you would both think that, given that I trusted you."

"Liam, what are you talking about?" Riley asked.

"I'm talking about the fact that nearly three years ago I trusted you with my heart." His eyes went from one to the other. "I laid it at your feet, Riley, and asked Drake to guard you while I tried to help uncover this conspiracy against you." He folded his arms. "If anyone shouldn't be trusted in this kingdom at the moment, it would be the two who betrayed me in the worst possible way."

Tear slipped down Riley's cheeks. "Liam, I...I thought you understood." She swallowed. "You stood there as Drake's best man at our wedding. You named our child your heir."

"Just because I understood, forgave you, and accepted it; that does not necessarily mean that I have forgotten." He replied. “I still trust you, but I have become more cautious in doing so.”

"Liam," Drake's voice cracked with regret. "I'm sorry. I had no idea you still felt--"

"I don't." Liam interrupted. "I haven't for a while now." His stance relaxed with his next words. “Since meeting Elisse, I have realized that I am able to move on from the past.”

He thought of the excitement he felt just in anticipating seeing her again. That desire to touch her. Finally feel what her lips against his. Seeing her smile. Holding her close.

He focused again on two people he still considered his best friends. "Regardless of what her cousin does, Elisse is innocent. She is the woman I intend on knowing on a personal level. You either support me in that and treat her with every bit of friendship and courtesy she deserves or you can return to Valtoria until you are able to do so."

With that, Liam left the couple with jaws dropped.

**************

Pier at Cordonia’s Capital a few nights later...

"Elisse?" Liam called out when he finally reached The Semblance sailboat.

She popped up from the galley. "Liam?"

His smile formed when she came over.

She climbed up the side, held onto the various ropes, and leaned forward. "Ready to come aboard?"

"You know, I'm not exactly fond of boats." He admitted. "One too many bad experiences."

Her smile turned tender. "I know. That's why we aren't going sailing." She tilted her head to where she had a table set. "I just wanted a spot where I could have you to myself."

Liam grabbed the same ropes and pulled himself until he was face to face with her. His lips curved at her slight intake of breath. "I could be on board with that."

She rolled her eyes playfully while groaning. Gripping his blazer she tugged him onto the boat. "Only you are cute enough to get away with that awful pun."

"I try." He teased.

She slipped her arm around him. "I hope you like what I prepared." Her eyes darted around as if she was worried someone would overhear. "Felix has been trying his hardest to teach me how to cook."

"Elisse, you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble." Liam tucked her long dark hair over her shoulder. "Just having a moment with you away from court and our duties is enough for me."

"Liam," she slid her arms up his chest, "I have a confession."

He placed his hands on her waist. "Oh?"

"Years ago, Amalas began a file on you." Her eyes darted to his lips before lifting once more to his crystal clear blue eyes. "And I read it."

Liam grimaced. "It sounds like you're about to say something I'm not going to like."

Her tender smile caused him to pause in pulling away.

"On the contrary," she stepped closer to him, "everything I read, I liked." Her dark brown eyes held his. "That's why I hope you like everything I've done."

Unable to resist the temptation any longer, Liam captured her lips in a heated kiss.

Her fingers tangled in his hair as he continued the sweet exchange.

Their eyes met as they began to part, only for them both to rush forward in a more passionate kiss.

"Liam." She said in a breathless voice when his lips brushed her cheek. "I've been waiting on you to do that for months now."

He chuckled, cuddling her close. "You have no idea how often I wanted to shove everything off my desk and yank you on it."

Her eyes twinkled. "I might have had similar thoughts."

He thought his face was in danger of being set in a permanent goofy grin.

A breeze brought their attention back to the carefully set table.

"I don't want to let your dinner go to waste." He murmured, kissing her neck.

"It probably tasted horrible anyway." She smiled at hearing his laughter. "I would like to get a second date out of this. My dinner might have sent you running as far away from me as you can."

"It wouldn't." He pressed his forehead against hers. "I have no intention of running away from you, Elisse."

Her smile took his breath away. With a slight joyful squeal, she kissed him once more.

"Would you like to lay here and watch the stars appear?" She motioned toward another section of the boat she had piled with an air mattress, blankets, and pillows. A bucket with chilled champagne was on hand with two glasses.

"Love to." He let her go, watching as she retrieved some strawberries and set them nearby their pallet.

He popped the champagne and filled their glasses.

"What should we toast to?" He asked.

"To the longest waited first date ever." She tapped her glass against his. "And how happy I am to finally be here with you."

Liam held her gaze as he downed his glass. He set it to the side and pulled her back in his arms. "Nowhere near as happy as I am."

****************

A few ships over, Olivia lowered her binoculars. 

“The date seems to be going well.” She whispered.

“Do you think she can be trusted?” Hana asked. 

“There’s only one way to know for sure.” Olivia passed the binoculars to her accomplice. “We need to dig up all we can on the viscountess and queen from Monterisso as well as everything I can on Auvernal’s monarchs.”

“If Liam falls in love with her,” Hana took a deep breath, “it will hurt him horribly if we discover she is using him.”

��He’s already been through so much.” Olivia murmured. “I don’t want to be the one to deliver news like that to him.”

“But we promised Riley we would investigate Elisse.” Hana shifted. “Do you think she is wrong about suspecting her?”

“I--” For the first time, Olivia doubted they needed to spy on Elisse. “I honestly don’t know.” 

[yetanotherreader]

Useful—4

Genre: College AU

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Y/N Y/L/N, slight Dean x Lisa

Summary: The school’s most popular boy wants to be friends with Y/N, out of the blue. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with her hot best friend, though.

Word Count (For the chapter): 2,627

Warnings (For the chapter): Language, self deprecative thoughts.

[For some reason, some of the tags aren’t working. I’m sorry about that.]

[[ Also I’m sorry for the no Read More thingy because it doesn’t happen on the phone app :-(]]

Useful Masterlist

Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Time flew by faster and in no time, it was the last week of the semester. Winter breaks were going to begin and you didn't know what to do with your life during the vacation. Lisa was going to be spending it with her family, Dean was going on a road trip with his friends and you had no plans whatsoever. You had no funds to go visit your family, overseas. You were saving for an apartment, and your parents understood. You were, in fact, surprised that they did without any clashes but again, maybe, living away from each other did mend your relationship with your family better. You missed them and, hopefully, they missed you too.

Right now, though, you were trying to figure out how you were going to survive the holidays, browsing the library for some books you could use for your time alone. Older times, you would have enjoyed it. Would get bored, might go into overthinking drives, beat yourself up for things of the past, but still somehow enjoyed the undisturbed two weeks. Now, it was different. Everything was. You were not used to being alone all the time anymore, there was a certain green eyed idiot who made sure to be around you as much as he could. The idiot you've started to dangerously feel for. He introduced you to Cas and Jo, and they were amazing people. Lisa had started spending time with you, too. It was funny. A few months ago, you had literally no one to talk to and now, you barely got to be alone.

"There you are! I've been looking for you."

"Well, I'm honored. Hey, Lis."

"Gotta say your sense of humor has worsened more," she said with a laugh, "Hey. So mom is going on a holiday with her fiancé for the new year. So had to cut the trip short. They invited me but I bailed out"

"I'm sorry," You knew Lisa and her mom's new boyfriend didn't get along all that well. The previous guy her mom was with, though, treated Lisa like her own, and she missed him. For some reason, they broke up and that was why Lisa  moved here for college from Michigan. Her mother's new fiance was a nice man, according to Lisa, but she just couldn't give him that place in her heart.

"Yeah. So, yeah, I'll be here a week earlier."

"That's cool. We can catch up on some movies then."

"And bars and parties and hot boys at the beach."

"Oh, Lord." You laughed, and she soon joined you.

"Hey Y/-" You heard Dean stop, abruptly before continuing, "H-Hey."

You looked up at him to see him looking at Lisa, only to realize it was her he actually greeted, "Um..hey, Dean."

He practically tore his gaze away from her to look at you, "Oh, hi, Y/N. You didn't tell me your friend was going to be here with you."

"Uh, you didn't tell me you were going to be coming here, Dean." You laughed awkwardly trying to cut the tension in the air.

"Oh, yeah, actually I was looking for you. Well, I was wondering if you-"

"Y/N, won't you introduce me to your friend?" Lisa chimed in, practically eye-fucking your best friend—and you hated to notice, it was coming right back at her.

"So, you don't know who I am, huh?" Dean smirked, flirting. You couldn't help but roll your eyes.

It was like you weren't even there while they continued to make filthy comments and it was disgusting, you audibly groaned making your way out of the library, "God, ew."

For the rest of the day, you were supposed to be busy. You had assignments to submit before the vacations started, but it seemed like you dropped your concentration somewhere on the road. You couldn't stop wondering what Lisa and Dean were doing right then. Did they kiss? Or were they planning somethi-

You shook your head, shaking away the thoughts. They were your friends, you should be happy for them if it came to something like that. What you felt for Dean was a tiny, little crush which would fade in no time. You weren't going to make things between you two awkward by acting on it. This friendship was important to you, after a long, long while you were willing to put your trust in someone. You didn't even remember the last time you ever talked to someone like you talked to Dean. He was starting to become the closest friend you'd ever had, so yeah, you were going to be happy for him no matter who he dated.

The only thing was...you weren't.

You typed furiously on the computer, trying to ignore the insecurities that were creeping inside you little by little. Dean is going to leave you too. No one will stay. Everyone leaves. Your fingers danced across the keyboard smoothly yet faster than before as you hurried to get the work done so that you could get the hell out of the premises and take a nap. Because you deserve it. You're not worth any love. You're a disgra- You typed the last words and emailed yourself the document, not bringing anything that was going on in your mind show on your face.

"Y/N!" You stopped at the familiar voice, turning around as Lisa made her way towards you, "Guess what?"

"What?" You asked, not surprised by her happy attitude. She was always so happy, it made you wonder what was wrong with you that you couldn't be.

"You never told me you were friends with that hot snack!"

"Um.. actually. I did." You said, rolling your eyes. Obviously she wasn't paying attention.

"No…" you gave her a long look, "you did?"

Exhaling heavily, you made your way to your room, "Lis, I've had a busy day. I'm really really exhausted. Can we gush over how hot Dean is later when I've had some shut eye?"

"No, I didn't stop you to tell how hot Dean is. I mean, yes he is but I wanted to tell you he invited me to the road trip he's going on with his friends." Your eyes shot up to her face, searching for any signs of it being a joke. It wasn't. Dean, actually, did ask her. They met...like...just now?

Lisa must have gotten an idea of your discomfort 'cause her eyes saucered in realization, "oh my god...I'm so sorry, Y/N! I completely forgot about you and the plans we made. I can drop going, I'm so sorry."

"No..it's..it's okay. Really. Go enjoy your holiday. I was, anyway, going to spend my time alone before we made those plans."

She looked at you, guilty, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah.." You smiled in understanding.

"I can always ask Dean to let you tag along."

You chuckled at the irony. You were his best friend, you didn't need anyone else to ask him anything for you. And you even felt a little insulted by the statement. You could do without this favour. You could definitely do without anyone 'letting you' tag along, "Braedon, really, go. I'll be fine on my own."

She went away without another word. The pit in your stomach only seemed to grow as you did your best to drag it aside. You, somehow, managed to stop the slumping of your shoulders as you walked into your room. You changed out of your jeans into your pajamas, ready to call it a day. You made yourself a peanut butter sandwich and was done with all the chores that you settled down on the bed. Switching off the lights, you pulled the warm blanket over your head. It was then that all the thoughts you'd been pushing aside started making appearances.

Your friend 'completely forgot' about you and the plans, your best friend didn't even bother remembering that he forgot about you. It was like you didn't even exist. You knew it was stupid, in fact it was really childish to think like this. Them people have gotten their own lives which DID NOT have to revolve around you. And pretty honestly, you knew no life revolved around you, not even your own. No one would give two shits if you suddenly disappeared, including you. Still, you weren't supposed to feel this way. You weren't supposed to be so much affected because of something like this. Being left out was not something that was happening for the first time to you. But this time, it hurt a little. The thought of you getting replaced bothered a little when it shouldn't. It wasn't a crime or anything. What did you ever do to make a lasting impact in someone's life anyway so that they'd want to keep you forever?

You woke up to constant pounding on your door. Groaning, you got up to open the door.

"I was about to knock the door down, sleepyhead." Dean ruffled your hair playfully as you slapped his hand away annoyed.

"I was sleeping, asshole."

"Shocker."

You looked at him, bored, for a while before widening your eyes and pulling him inside and locking the door behind, "What the hell are you doing here? If the warden saw you, she'd rip me two."

"For a second I thought you were going to kiss me," he snickered sheepishly. "I called you to inform, you didn't pick up." He made his way inside the room, putting the box of pizza and a backpack on the couch. You scrunched up your nose at the action.

"Pizza? Why?"

"Why are you surprised?"

"It was Tuesday. Did I sleep for three fuckin' days straight?!" You said, flabbergasted for a moment until you saw Dean making the most annoyed face ever.

"Y/L/N. It is still Tuesday. Wednesday, actually. And our Friday night outs are at my place, not here where your warden is ready to eat me alive."

"Your point?"

He sighed, "We didn't spend any time together today, Y/N. I saw you earlier, you didn't look well."

You frowned before the memories made their way back, "oh…

"Well that's exactly why I was trying to sleep, Winchester." You scolded, trying to not sound too cold.

"What is it?"

"What?" You turned away from him, walking to your bed, Dean following suit.

"What's wrong? And don't give me there's-nothing-wrong-i'm-okay shit. Tell me." He sat himself beside you as you crawled under the blanket to the other end.

"There's nothing wrong, I'm okay." Dean rolled his eyes as you pulled the covers over your head.

"You know I hate it when you do what I tell you not to."

"Then don't tell me what to do." Your voice came out muffled, as you replied back sharply. He sighed.

When she walked out of the library, groaning as Lisa and him flirted, Dean had noticed. He thought it was just the playful best friend reaction seeing them two flirt with each other, so he let it pass. Later that day, he went to meet Y/N and saw her working on the computer. She would look normal to anyone around there, but Dean had secretly picked up on her habit of doing her work extra smooth when she's stressed. Her shoulders were tensed and eyes sharp. Yep. She was definitely bothered. What he was about to tell her would have to wait, first he needed to know what was bothering her. He decided to talk to her after his class, but by the time his class was over, Y/N was already out of the campus.

"I never got to tell you why I came to talk to you this morning."

"Oh, you came to talk to me? Didn't think I was so lucky." Was that what it was all about? Was she... jealous? But why would she be jealous? She was so darn confusing, it frustrated him sometimes.

"You need to talk to me, Y/N. What's going on?" He said, pulling her blanket to him before she pulled it back.

"Nothing is going on Dean, really. It's nothing. I'm just tired is all."

"And grumpy?"

"And grumpy."

"I need you to know no one is going to take your place, sweetheart." He felt her stiffen just a bit, not enough to be noticed but enough to be noticed by him.

"Stop thinking you're that important to me, Winchester. You're not." He flinched. He knew Y/N didn't mean that, it was just her defence mechanism with some extra sass but it still painfully tug his heart a little bit. She made a lot such comments, mostly playfully, with that serious face but playfully. Maybe it wasn't the comment but the fact that she was hurt that was bothering him? He wouldn't know. One thing he knew, though, was whatever was bothering her, he needed to make her smile. Maybe she noticed his sudden pause because she immediately spoke up, "Sorry. It came out harsher than I intended."

"S'okay. So you're not gonna tell me what's bothering you?"

"Nothing is bothering me Winchester."

"Whatever you say, Y/L/N." He gave up. It bothered him that she had still not opened up to him even when they'd been 'best friends' for so long. Every time he thought she would, she would close off and change the topic. She still was the mystery girl he met at the beginning of the college, a mystery he didn't know how to figure out "So, you coming?"

"Where?"

"The road trip?

"So Lisa did that after all."

"Lisa did what?"

"Nothing. And well, I've got some work so I can't come."

"Yeah I know what work you got. Come on, Y/N. Be easy on yourself sometimes. It's gonna be fun."

"But-"

"Great. So it's a 2 weeks long trip. Pack accordingly and now we have that pizza." He stood up before she could protest and got the pizza.

"How many times are you going to watch this show, Dean? Don't you get bored?" You said taking your third slice.

"As many times as I please, babe. It's Dr. Sexy M.D, it never gets boring." He said casually, thankfully missing the pink that dusted your cheeks at the nickname in the dark.

After a couple more episodes, you were starting to doze off, and so was Dean, "Alright, let's sleep. We have classes tomorrow.

"There's no morning class. Just one more epi." He said, clutching the remote in his hands, like a child, "please?"

"No." He pouted at your response, defeated.

"Okie." He said letting out a small yawn. Sleepy Dean was always adorable, "So it's settled that you're coming with us?"

She paused for a moment before shrugging slightly.

"I guess...yes," he smiled cheekily as she said that, "but, why did you want me there all of a sudden?"

"Because I want you there? It's gonna be fun. I've heard girls need their girl-friends on these tours for some 'girl-company' thing. I invited Lisa, so-"

He stopped abruptly as she stood up and made her way out of the room, "I'll go and throw these boxes, you change in here."

"- that you could get some company." He whispered mostly to himself. What the hell just happened? He shook his head, too sleepy to think about it right now and stripped out of his clothes into his pajamas.

Obviously. There it was. The reason he wanted you there, it's all here. It's because he didn't want Lisa to be alone around people she didn't know. You stood by the sink and chuckled to yourself, feeling a sting in the back of your eyes. Wow.

"Same old easily replaceable Y/N." You whispered.

-------

Chapter 5

A/N: alright. I know I know. I'm a terrible author who do not care about her readers but it's not that. I'm really, genuinely sorry. Life's been really rollercoastery and I've been dealing with stuffs lately. I promise I'll be better next time. And if you could take out a minute of your day and pray for me and a lot of people who need it, please, I'll be really grateful. They say prayers are powerful and I think I can do with them a bit.

Also, please don't do something wrong with yourself. You're worth every effort you make for a better life. Each minute of your life counts, just make sure you keep yourself and others as happy as you can. Be kind to you and others, I'm rooting for you. ❤️

And show some kindness to the animals too, they deserve it. ❤️

.

.

Tags for useful:

 @fandoms-fiend @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @itsjaybro16 @mml232 @blablatiti @stilltoomuchafangirl @bat-shark-repellant @bluebell-24 @shortwinchester @always-money-in-the-banana-stand @ima-be-a-mongoose @soullessbabee @infinityspacesuniverse @vicmc624 @roonyxx @fandoms-fiend @slythermyg

[omnivorousshipper]

Hi ! It's finally Friday! So How about five time Luke gets jealouse and Deck think he's being stupid. And one time Deckard is even more jealouse then Luke? I dont think I've seen A jealouse Deck and I thought It might be interesting. Maybe even a/b/o if it works

Oo!! I love both of them being jealous!

1.

Deckard glared at everyone in the room. He didn't want to be back at Nowhere, but there he was, being asked to track down some huge international terrorist. The Toretto crew was all there, and seemed genuinely happy to have him there

But he didn't want to be there.

Not when he had been off his suppressants for some time and his natural scent was still very ovbious

No one had said anything about his scent now showing him to be an omega and not the beta he'd been pretending to be. Which they had better say anything or else they'd see that he still could take down half an army by himself. Omega or not

He was sitting in the chair at the other end of the table, Mr. Nobody at the other end. To his left was Ramsey and the right was Hobbs

Luckily, the alpha hadn't said or indicated that he noticed Deckard's scent.

"Now, I'm sure none of you have heard of Mr. Brindley before, so, I want you all to read up on his file," Mr. Nobody was saying, waving to the big screen showing the terrorist's face

One of Mr. Nobody’s agents walked around, handing everyone a copy of the thick file. But, when he was about to hand Deckard his, Hobbs snatched it out of the agent's hand

Deckard blinked as he watched the large alpha bare his teeth at the agent and hand Deckard the file

Deckard's shock quickly morphed into anger. Snatching the file as well, Deckard hissed

"Fuck off, she-hulk. I don't need your territorial bullshit today."

Hobbs looked shocked at that and didn't say anything in response

Ignoring him for the rest of the meeting, Deckard didnt notice the way Hobbs moved his seat closer to Deckard's

2.

Deckard grimaced as he listened to the planes roar through the sky above his head. His senses were heightened extraordinarily by his pre-heat, so it felt as if every plane was using his ears as a runway.

He and Hobbs had just finished a mission in Egypt and were about to take different flights home. Good timing because Deckard could feel his body slowly reacting to having the large alpha near him and encouraging him to invite Hobbs back to London for his heat

"So, which one is your brother's?" Hobbs asked, looking around the tarmac. He would be taking a private plane provided by Mr. Nobody.

"That giant one," Deckard said and nodded towards the plane. Squinting, he could see a figure walking down the stairs of the plane. "It's the one we stole from Cipher. Oh didn't want to get rid of it."

"Lucky bastard. He know how to drive it?"

"Of course he does," Deckard scoffed. He could see that the figure was indeed Owen as he made his way closer to Deckard and Luke

Deckard stepped away from Luke and met Owen halfway, enveloping his little brother in a hug, when they pulled back, Owen was pulling a face

"What?" Deckard narrowed his eyes

"You stink." Owen said simply, scrunching up his nose in disgust

"Of course I stink to you." Deckard rolled his eyes. "I'm going to be in heat in a few days."

"Fine, but don't leave a smell in my plane."

"You little-!"

Suddenly, Owen was moving away and pushing Deckard behind him. Scowling, Deckard looked at what had Owen so defensive

He had almost forgotten Hobbs had even been there, in all honesty. But now, looking at the alpha, he could see that Hobbs was ok edge

His whole body was tense and he looked ready to pounce on something

Glancing at Owen, Deckard could see the other alpha was in a similar state

"What the bloody hell do you two think you're doing?" Deckard barked

Owen didn't move, but Hobbs seemed to realize what he as doing and looked apologetic. He forcibly relaxed his body and looked at Deckard

"Nothing. I hope you two have a safe trip home."

With that, he turned on his heel and headed towards the plane that would take him home

"What the bloody hell?" Deckard mumbled to himself

"Deck. Did something happen between you and Hobbs?" Owen asked, his voice neutral of any emotion. It put Deckard on the edge

"No. Why?"

Owen stared after Hobbs, but just shook his head.

"Nothing. Let's go home."

Deckard's eyebrows furrowed. What the hell was wrong with those two alphas?

3.

Taking a small sip from the champagne he had, Deckard scanned the crowd of people at the party he was at. He was undercover with Tej, the only other omega in their crew.

They were playing the parts of bored trophy omegas who's alphas were old and unable to get it up.

Normally, Deckard wouldn't mind playing spy and the simpering omega, but tonight, it made his skin itch.

He'd never felt uncomfortable flirting with people to get what he wanted, but whenever someone flirted with him so far tonight, he felt off.

Like he didn't want anyone's attention

Well, almost no one's attention

Looking across the room, Deckard could see Luke pretending to be a guard at the event.

They had been doing missions together for the last few months, and gradually, Deckard's found himself enjoying the alpha's company.

He would much rather be next to Luke, cracking jokes and the like, and not listening to bullshit the rich alpha next to him was saying

"So, I tell Orville, come on, how much would it cost, a few thousand dollars?"

Deckard nodded along, barely paying attention. But he noticed when the guy tried to wrap his arm around his waist

Smiling tightly, Deckard firmly grabbed the man's wrist

"We're in public." He said

"Then, let's go somewhere private, hm?" The guy sent him a sleazy sneer

"Not yet. Have to keep up appearances and such."

"Oh, come on, baby. You know you want me."

Deckard was about to snap at the rich asshole before someone else did it for him

"Is there a problem here?"

Deckard felt his whole body relax at the deep growl that came behind him. Somehow, Luke seemed to always calm him down

Immediately, the guy's hand was off him and he was backing away

"No! No trouble. In fact, I need to get going."

Deckard rolled his eyes as the guy nearly ran through the crowd to get away from Luke. Turning to the large alpha, Deckard narrowed his eyes

"The bloody hell are you thinking? You could have given out whole mission away!"

"Sorry. Some guys need to learn when to actually listen." Luke said, and immediately winced as he realized he wasn't following what he just said. "Dont worry, it won't happen again."

"It better not," Deckard hissed

4.

The house was dark when Deckard closed the front door behind him and locked it. It was well into the night and he wasn't expecting either Luke or Sam to be awake.

His flight from London had been delayed, meaning it had gotten into LA around midnight

Being deathly quiet as he moved through the house, he was surprised to see the master bedroom's light on. Opening the door, Deckard sighed as he saw Luke still awake, sitting up in bed on his laptop

"Luke, you should have gone to sleep hours ago."

"I wanted to see you when you came home." Luke shrugged and got out of bed. As he walked towards Deckard, he smiled softly. Smiling back, Deckard let himself be wrapped up in Luke's strong arms

"Glad to be back."

He clung to Luke's back, taking in the alpha's strong scent. Deckard had missed him

Suddenly, he felt Luke smelling at his neck. Deckard tensed

"Something wrong, twinkletoes?"

"No. It's just..."

"Just what?"

Luke pulled back a bit, but kept his arms wrapped around Deckard

"I can smell another alpha on you."

"Are you kidding me?" Deckard hissed.

"Deck, I-"

"Luke Hobbs! You know I was visiting a few of my mates. Some being alphas. So, no shit you can smell another alpha on me!"

"I didn't mean-"

"Didnt mean what?" Deckard snapped, and pushed Luke's hands off him

"I just don't like smelling another alpha on you-"

"Get used to it then! I have two siblings who are alphas!"

"I know that-"

"Then stop complaining!" Deckard snapped and turned away from Luke and headed into the bathroom. The only reason he didn't slam the door was because he didn't want to wake Sam

+ 1 Time Deckard was jealous

"You ok there, Deck?" Ramsey asked quietly, leaning into Deckard's personal space

Deckard nodded sharply and had to concentrate on not breaking the glass in his hands

He and Ramsey were on the far side of a large room, watching as rich omegas and betas were betting at an auction to give away dates to handsome alphas for charity

Deckard had never wanted to kill so many people at once

The crew knew that some grifters were swindling people out of their money with the auction, so they had gone undercover, with both Dom and Luke being bet on

Deckard had to wonder if Letty would be willing to hid the bodies with him

"Don't worry, it'll be over soon." Ramsey said soothingly

"Mmhmm."

Deckard wouldn't be feeling so angry if so many simpering omegas weren't tripping over themselves to win a date with Luke. Ay least ten of them were fighting over him

"Look on the bright side," Ramsey said cheerfully. "You don't have to pay a dime for a date with him."

"Good." Deckard grunted and took a sip of his whiskey. "Because I have a plan in mind to finish our bond when we have a chance."

Hope you enjoyed friend!!

[idkhyuck]

Fireflies- NCT DREAM Fanfic pt1 

I couldn’t shake the happy, freeing feeling this song gave me. So here’s the result of that

Y/N Goes on a camping trip with her best friends to celebrate their last year as teenagers

DREAM OT6 !BestfriendREADER with hints of romances.No warnings other than swearing as it’s really fluffy. A/N I don’t really know the Dream Timeline too well yet so in this they’re idols and it includes things from their careers but I've kind of created my own timeline. I Kind of want to continue this if anyone likes it. Feedback is appreciated. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure this is all we’ll need?” I asked looking at Jaemin and Jeno loading up our cart with a few sleeping bags. They both turned to me and nodded

“My dad’s got some stuff in the garage I can use. We can spend more money on food this way.” Jaemin said confidently as he pushed the cart down the aisle “maybe we should grab this just in case.” he said reaching for a tarp. I sighed knowing we’d end up back in this aisle before we left the store. Jeno nodded and followed behind him grabbing a few packs of the rope. and followed him, I rolled my eyes and grabbed the tent pegs they both walked passed. I’m so excited they have the weekend off. We’re going camping to celebrate our last summer being teenagers. Chenle and Jisung still had a some time left but it wouldn’t be the same without them with us so we’re bringing them along. We continued our shopping trip. I spent most of my teenage years with these boys. I stuck with them all through their trainee days after meeting in middle school, They’re my best friends and will forever have my support.

“I need swim shorts!.” Jeno said freezing in place as he turned to look for a sign to tell him where to go, he was such a lost puppy at times. I grabbed him and pointed him in the right direction. We made our way to the men’s wear section. I felt the stares of the girls that passed as they watched me walk with them. I wondered if they knew who they were or if they were just amazed at the beauty of the two of them like I am continually. I’ll probably never end up dating any of them but that didn’t stop my heart from noticing how handsome they’ve gotten over the years. I’ve literally had a legit crush on all of them at least once in the past 7 years, except Jisung he’s my baby and he hates it. the worst was Haechan at 17. They all knew except Haechan and it drove me nuts. You know when you have a crush for so long and it just grows into a content love. That’s what I have with each of them. They’ve seen me at my worst, and vice versa. We grew up together basically and at the end of this year We’d be adults. Man times flies when you’re having fun. “My mom said yes to taking her van, she’ll be here with it later.” Chenle said as he walked into the practice room throwing his bag at me in the corner.

“hey!” I yelled as the bag landed a little too close to me with a thud,

“Oh. Hi.” he said indifferently as he started stretching. Haechan sat up laughing from across the room.

“Great to see you too.” I added sourly as I pulled his bag over and laid on it. We were supposed to leave for our camping trip after practice which is why I’m here so god damn early. Renjun walked in he looked so incredibly tired.

“Renjunie. did you even sleep?” I asked him as he sat on the floor beside me

“Kind of.” he said sheepishly meaning he was up all night playing games. I sighed as he changed his shoes beside me.

“You can sleep in the van on the way out.” I said as the staff came in to the room. They were filming a dance practice today. That would be fun to watch. I had all of my things for the weekend in a backpack. Jaemin and Jisung hauled all of our camping gear in here last night. The boys went on practicing hard for a little bit. the hours flew by fast as I watched them perfect the choreo enough to film it. They started filming takes for the video. After the first take chenle came over

“Call my mom please. She can bring the van now.” he said taking a sip of water before running back into formation. I went out into the hall to make my phone call. Chenle’s mom as already on her way with the van when I reached her. I thought I’d take this time to haul our stuff to the doors so it would be easy to load up. I started with the tent, I made a few trips back and forth. The guys at varying degree of choreography each time not even noticing me coming or going. I saw one of the execs in the lobby as I carried Mine and Jisung’s bag to my growing pile.

“Those boys treating you good?” he asked me. I nodded politely bowing. “Have fun this weekend.”

“Thank you.” I said. It was still so scary knowing that everyone here knew me. I’d pass other idols in the halls and they’d greet me like any other. Most people would die to be in my position and I thought about that often. Like they’re just 6 boys that became my friends. Mark and the other NCT boys too. Mark was gone on a work trip or else he’d be here camping with us. I missed him a lot, He’s always so busy, He’s such a hard worker. We barely saw any other the other boys. We were so busy with graduation and other things. The older boys were busy with tour prep and comeback scheduling.

“Wow!” Jisung said as he saw all the stuff loaded into the van. His hair freshly showered and extra soft looking. The smell of their shampoo radiating off of them as we all loaded into van.

“FOUR DAYS OFF!” Chenle yelled as he closed the door behind him and sat beside me. All the other boys started cheering. Jaemin started the van and we pulled out as Haechan sat in the passenger seat fixing the radio with the playlist he made just for this weekend.

“We have enough food?” Renjun asked as he settled in with the cooler between him and Jisung in the back seat. I was stuck in the middle between Chenle and Jeno.

‘Yeah. Me and my mom packed it all last night.” I said “There’s all kinds of good things in there.” I added. “As long as we have a fire. We’re set.” I said

“okay.” Renjun quietly said from behind me I didn’t even have to see I could already tell he was drifting off to sleep. I looked as we passed all familiar places in Seoul. Soon enough we’d be entering the country side. It was early afternoon. The sun high and shining brightly. I couldn’t wait to be at our campsite. I’m so glad that we get to be completely off the grid, no body guards, no staff, no cameras. Although I planned on taking tons of pictures and videos of our time together. The windows being open brought in just the right amount of breeze so we weren’t hot. Jeno was playing on his phone or responding to emails, he was always working. Chenle was listening to the music playing with his eyes closed. Haechan was texting on his phone. And Jaemin quietly sung along with the radio. Jisung and Renjun were passed out in the backseat, i could hear them both snoring softly. This was already so relaxing, I felt myself getting sleepy. I yawned and laid my head back. I felt jeno’s arm wrap around me “lean on me. you’ll be sore.” He said quietly

Jeno was my first crush out of all the boys I’ve ever known. He was tallest in our grade and strong and so so handsome. I couldn’t help but feel things for him. I hated myself for it. We were really good friends, and I wasn’t the only girl that had a crush on him. I WAS the only girl that got to see the real him. the soft boy who loved games and singing and dancing and sports. He was so passionate about his work, he worked so hard to get where he is. He’s kind of goofy despite being called NoJam and I loved that side of him. He looked so tough and hot but he was so soft and that’s what got me. This was pre-debut. I struggled to hide my feelings around him because I didn’t want him or anything between us to change. Or worse they’d think I only liked him because he was going to debut. I spent a whole year crushing on him and then I saw him one night late at the studio it was just us because he was my ride home. He was very frustrated with himself, There was new choreo he couldn’t get and and he’d been working for hours and we were supposed to go hang out at the river before we had to be home but we were already late. He misstepped and fell to the floor in frustration, I ran over and saw him slump over in defeat. He was so exhausted, they’d been working non stop since their debut a few months prior. I sat on the floor beside him.

“Hey. its okay.” i said trying to keep things bright. it was when I saw the tears fall to the floor as he refused to look up at me that I knew he wasn’t okay. “Hey no, Jeno.” I said reaching out to touch his arm. “You’ll get it. You have time.” I said trying my best to reassure him. “Lets go home. You’ve worked hard.” I said as I watched the tears mix with sweat and fall off the tip of his nose. “Don’t be to hard on yourself.” I said “You’ve been working so hard, You’ve done so good. So good!” I said ‘I’ve never seen anyone work as hard as you.” I added “You should be proud of yourself and celebrating. You guys are the best rookie group out there right now. It’ll be okay.” I said reaching down to wipe his face. His eyes finally met mine and I saw how upset he really was. I immediately wrapped my arms around him and held him close, a few tears escaping me “Jeno.” I said my voice cracking “I mean it. You’re doing amazing. You don’t need to be perfect.” I said trying to keep my voice even. He was breathing hard against my shoulder “We’ll be okay.” I said “You’ve got this.” I added as I rubbed his back. He finally pulled away and started wiping his face.

“I’m sorry.” he said “I didn’t mean too here.” he said wiping at his nose gesturing around with his hand.

“No. It’s fine” I said smiling at him “It’s why I’m here.” I said “We’re best friends you can always tell me anything. I’ll always be here.” I said and in the moment I realized I meant it, I couldn’t imagine my life without Jeno in it. I woke up to Chenle pulling me out of the van, catching me as I fell out only to let me go and go running “WE’RE HERE!” He said as he ran to the other side of the campsite. it took me a second to adjust my eye sight to how bright it was. I turned and ran into Haechan, he just laughed as he slid me over to the side to start unloading. I yawned and made my way over to the back where the rest of the boys were unloading bit by bit

“Tent first.” Renjun said as he pour the contents out of our tent bag. I went over to help him. We bought the biggest tent we could find. It was an 8 person tent. Renjun and I slid the poles in. as Jisung and Jaemin set up the rest of our campsite with our chairs and our coolers and bags. I smiled at Rejun as our poles met in the middle Renjun was my second crush, it had only lasted about three months. He was helping me learn Mandarin and I longed for the time we spent together at the building when he was on breaks. It was just the two of us and I really got to know him then. I lived for the late night phone calls we shared. They’d start off as study calls and then it’d turn into him getting distracted and he’d tell me about aliens and ghosts and his theories and whatever else he was reading at the time, he was so incredibly real and honest. He was so confident in the way he carried himself even though, He was tiny, I loved his tiny features. He was almost delicate but still such a strong, handsome boy I was sure I was in love with.Then he admitted his crush on a girl in our class and my feelings for him died instantly. We all let out a sighs of relief as we settled into ours chairs, Haechan and Chenle spent the past hour setting up our fire pit with rocks and sticks and grass and leaves. We had our food and extra supplies set up in a make shift lean to with the tarps we bought. Jaemin’s dad had a bunch of chairs and sleeping bags and a cool fire starting kit. The sun was a a low place in the sky right now. it wasn’t quite twilight but everything was getting glowy. I took out my phone.

“Smile!” i yelled as I started taking pictures of them. I wanted to remember these moments forever. They all laughed pretending to hide their faces. haechan hid behind his hoodie. I stopped to focus on him. He was reaching for my phone blindly before he got up and started chasing me. We ran around the camp screaming and laughing as i took pictures of them as best as I could while running . it wasn’t long before chenle and jisung joined in trying to intercept me. It was chenle that grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me. I was giggling hysterically by now. I felt his chest heaving against my back as my own breath and heartbeat drummed in my ears. He picked me up and carried me over to the chairs, he threw me in to my chair laughing.

“Better sell those to the fansites, you’ll be rich.” he said with a laugh. I stuck my tongue out at him as I snuck one more of him

“Just when you think you escaped the cameras.” Jaemin said with a wink as he drug the cooler over.

Jaemin was the my third crush. I developed it while he was on time off. He spent as lot of time at my house because being at the dorms or at his house depressed him. He couldn’t do what he wanted to do and it was eating away at him. We’d spend hours watching movies, He’d leave for appointments only to come back for a few more hours. Usually bringing food. He trusted me with all his worries, We’d talk for hours about what his future looked like with the band and we’d cry and then we’d laugh at ourselves and eat some food. We watched and cried together as NCT dream got their first win. I honestly thought he might have liked me too. the rest of the boys would tease him about being with me all the time. We didn’t care we were having fun.it wasn’t until I went to the SM Christmas party with the boys and people started asking us if we were dating then he’d deny it. it kind of hurt me but I was just grateful to have that connection with him. to this day he’s one of my BEST friends in the world. There’s honestly no one I trust more than Jaemin, I’ll always go to him first with anything. “Of course you know how to start a fire.” I said as Chenle was hard at work starting our fire. He just turned and gave me his signature Chenle smile. I hoped to god I wasn’t blushing I was still getting over that crush on him It was the first day back at school from winter break. I hadn’t seen my friends much over the holidays so I was scanning the room for them. Specifically Renjun and Chenle, They went back to china for almost a whole month. The last time I saw either of them was at the SM christmas party. Chenle and I shared three dances that night. Jeno and I two and the rest I had to beg to dance with me at least once. I even danced with Mark and Jungwoo. I was having the time of my life. Chenle and I we’re just about to go out to the dance floor when the song changed to a slower one. I froze with his hand in mine, He just shrugged his shoulders and continued dragging me out to the dance floor. Once we got there he carefully placed his hands on my waist. it was a foreign feeling. this was my first slow dance with a boy but I’d never admit it to anyone except maybe Jaemin. I thought to myself as I enjoyed the feeling of being whisked around the dance floor. The music from some drama I never finished blasting through the speakers. I was looking around at other people dancing some of the couples I’d begun to recognize in the media were here. dancing to this song and here I am holding on to Chenle. I went to look up at him and realized I had look a bit further up.

“When did you get so tall?” I asked looking at him in the eyes as I now began to realize just how high up my arms were on his shoulders.

“I can’t be short forever.” He said pushing me out for a spin. I laughed as he pulled me into him. Why was he so good at slow dancing. Was there anything he can’t do. The song was over and he dragged me back to the table. The next day he left for china and we barely got to talk because he was busy with family. I couldn’t tell if I was developing feelings for him, it was like I was seeing him in a new light after the party and I dwelled on it the whole winter break. I was hoping he’d be here early like he usually was so we could hang out. I texted him to no avail. I felt a hand tap me scaring me as i waited in the hall

“What are you doing?” I jumped and screamed at the sound of his voice, only to turn and see he had died his hair light and that he was at least another two centimeters taller causing me to scream again causing him to jump back and lift his hands up “GOD what the hell is wrong with you?” he said “I don’t look that scary.” he added as he clutched his chest. The adrenaline running through my veins at the scare, and the sight of him caused my heart to race and i started laughing uncontrollably.  Jeno and Jaemin came over to see the commotion.

“What’d you do?” Jaemin asked Chenle as he stood there confused out of his mind

“No I’m fine.” i said “Not you.” I managed to muster between giggles “You scared me.” I said gaining composure breathless I looked up to see all three boys staring at me confused out out of their minds. I looked at Chenle and immediately felt my cheeks get hot again. I looked away before they could notice. “I was looking for you guys. I never gave you these.” I said digging out bracelets I made for them as apart of their Christmas gifts. They were green with all our initials on it. Jeno rolled his eyes as I tied it on him. Jaemin excitedly accepted his and when I got to chenle I almost dropped the bracelet as he bumped me while pulling up his sleeve. good lord I’m already awkward around him I thought to myself as i\I fumbled to tie it around his wrist. The bell rang and I bowed to them and ran off to my class before I made things worse. The last thing on my mind was the lesson we were reviewing that day from last unit.

That day at lunch I met with the rest of the guys and gave them their bracelets. Jisung and I qucikly ran to the convenience store to get food for the rest of us. When we got back we spent  the rest of our lunch hour discussing what we did over break. Renjun and Chenle distributing all the Chinese candy they brought back for us. We had fun like normal, I couldn’t help but sneak a few glances at Chenle. Jesus christ I thought I was done with this after Haechan. Speaking of Haechan he was no where to be seen because of his injury. and I missed him. I’d gone to see him at his place so many times over the break. I sent him an “I miss you” text. only to have him reply with a ugly seflie of him in bed. “If only i could be so lucky to lay in bed all day.” I replied

“Come join me then.” he replied. He didn’t mean it, he never did. That didn’t stop me from smiling like an idiot.

“Y/N! come on!! we’re gonna be late. Flirt with Haechan later!” Chenle was yelling at me from across the lunch room. I yelled at him and chased after him. He was running through the hall, I was so close to catching him when he suddenly stopped causing me to run straight into him. He caught me as I fell and placed me straight up while bowing to the teacher that passed and gave us a dirty look. I scrambled to bow quickly at her. I turned to Chenle

“You brat!” I whispered loudly while hitting his chest.

“How about I make it up to you?” He asked quietly looking around leaning in. My heart nearly jumped out of my throat. before I could even say anything he had his hand around mine and placing something in my hand closing it, while pretending to make sure no one was looking “i knew how much you loved these last time so I brought some extra for you.” He winked at me and then left. “Don’t tell the guys.” He mouthed to me as he walked into his classroom. I didn’t even realize I was holding my breath until the room started spinning. I looked down at my hand and saw a whole bag of the jelly candy i loved. I blushed as I opened one and ate it and made my way into my class. Jeno seated at his seat behind me

“You still have some?”he asked he watched me eat the candy.

“Oh. O didn’t eat mine at lunch.” i said quietly putting them in my bag and opening my books. I played with the candy wrapper for the rest of the afternoon with that sickening feeling you get when you know you’re gonna like someone. shit I didn’t want to have a crush on Chenle yet here i am already head over heels. it’ll pass it always does. I said to myself. And I continued to say that over the next six months. I said that as Jaemin and I were on the phone one night and he confronted me about it about a month and a half ago.

“So Chenle?”

“what about Chenle?” I asked him

“Why are you drooling all over him all of a sudden?” he asked

“I’m not!” i said trying to sound offended

“y/n….” he said flatly

“I KNOW! OKAY I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. HE LIKE GOT TALLER AND HE BROUGHT ME CANDY, AND HE BUYS ME LUNCH. AND HE’S GETTING SO GOOD AT DANCING AND LIKE DUDE. he’s such an amazing singer.” i said taking a deep breath “like it’s like one second he’s an annoying little brother then he’s swaying me around the floor at the Christmas party and he’s not so annoying anymore.” I said

“christmas? That’s how long this has been going on?” he asked shock in his voice

“I know.” i sighed “It’s fine. you know how I am. So shallow. It’ll pass.” I said in a light tone, but it really wasn’t anywhere near passing. I tried so hard since then to push the feelings away and it was working.

“First Haechan now Chenle. Are the rest of us not good enough.” he joked.

“Shut up.” I said. As I got over my crushes on them I made sure to make it seem like I had a crush on another guy or an idol or something so it didn’t seem like I wasn’t crushing on someone. Haechan was the first one out of them that the found out about and intended to keep it that way. “Hey uh don’t tell anyone okay?” I asked him serious

“”I won’t.” Se said I could hear the sincere smile in his voice. He then proceeded spending the next month telling me to tell chenle despite me telling him I was getting over him and I really felt like I was getting over him. I hoped this camping trip wouldn’t help that.

The campfire glowing as the sun set around us. It as absolutely perfect.

“is this what fireflies are like?” Jisung asked as he watched the embers of the flames rise and float off into the night.

“i imagine so.” Jeno said as he turned his stick over. He was currently burning his hot dogs but refused to listen when we told him to take them out. Jisung went over to the cooler and brought back marshmallows. He took a pile and tossed the bag to Jaemin. who took some, this continued until the bag got to me. I said

“Wait is this the first time for everyone?” I asked and looked around as everyone nodded “Let’s do a marshmallow toast!” I said excited grabbing my stick to put them on. I stood up ignoring their protests and watched excitedly as they all stood up reluctantly. “To being twenty.” I said sticking my marshmallow high above the fire

“to graduating.” Jeno said “to being friends.” Jaemin said earning a shove from Haechan and Jisung on either side of him. “To being friends forever.” I added “To being us!” Renjun said finally before shoving his marshmallow in the centre we all did that and roasted our marshmallows. I looked around the fire at each of them all unique in their own ways, all meaning different things to me, it made me sad, We’ll be adults next year. What if things change. I’ll be off in college all by myself while they’re enrolled online. Lord knows what the future holds for them career wise. I don’t even want to know how Jisung and Chenle feel. There’s talks of Renjun joining WayV in china. The other boys don’t know their future yet, Everything changes and all of this feels so final. I looked around at them laughing and having fun and living in the moment. The way Jaemin and Jeno fought as their marshmallows stuck together. Chenle and haechan fighting trying to knock each others marshmallows into the fire. Renjun sitting in the back eating his burnt marshmallow laughing and Jisung trying his best to roast more than one at once. They were still the same boys I met back in middle school but not at the same time. I sat back in my chair and tried my best not to cry. Haechan noticed my quietness and came over to sit beside me. I loved the way his skin glowed, I hated when he wore makeup on stage. He was so absolutely stunning and it hurt me. I had a crush on Haechan for 4 months now. It was getting worse with each day. NCT 127 had just released a new album and this all started as I watched Haechan practice his parts in studio. His voice was so angelic I literally sat there blushing the whole time he was singing. He didn’t notice, he never did. I bought that album, first album I bought myself only so I could listen to him singing on it. His parts had such an effect on me and I hated it. I thought I was doing good at hiding my crush on him. I wasn’t awkward around him. We teased non stop like always, only it was driving me nuts, and had no effect on him. We’re always cuddling or holding hands because that’s haechan, but at least it was something right. I was sitting outside during lunch on the front steps listening to my CD. 127 was doing promo so Haechan was away from school for awhile and I missed him. it was the first time he was really away from us and I was going through it. Jisung was the first to find out.

“Who are you listening to like this?” he asked pulling my headphones out as he sat down beside me with his face in his hands and batting his eyes  

“I’m not like that.” i said shoving him

“Like what?” Jaemin said sitting on the other side of me.

“She’s in love with someone.” He said reaching for my old CD player I got from my mom. as I pulled away from him Renjun came from behind and grabbed it.

“Give it back.” i whined. looking up at him to no avail he opened it

“Oh my god 127 hyungs!” he said with a gasp. all the boys looked at me “It is johnny?” Jisung asked “i bet its johnny.”

“No it’s Taeyong.” Rejun said said

“Is it Jungwoo? He’s your type” Jeno asked as he sat beside Jisung. they continued this game as I denied all of them.

“Ten hyung!” Jisung said beside me

“NOOO” i said annoyed with them

“Then who? Renjun asked confused “the only one we didn’t name was…” they suddenly all yelled “HAECHANNIE!” “Arghhh! ” I said beyond annoyed with them  

“Oh my god it is.” Jisung said hanging his head with disbelief. Renjun tsked as he handed me back my CD player. I sighed as Jaemin looked at me trying to get an answer.

“What’d I miss?” chenle asked as he approached us out of breath. We all looked up at him. then they all started talking all at once telling various versions of what just happened. Chenle choked on his drink

“Haechan?!” he asked “Why?!” he was the first person to ask anything. “I don’t know.” I said still annoyed with them. “Ah, you should have seen her sitting there.” Jisung said as I shot him a dirty look. “Are you going to tell him?” Jaemin asked a concerned look on his face and I could tell why, he was just as scared as I was of things changing

“Noooo. God no. He can never know.” I said panicking “Why?” renjun asked “Because it’ll make things weird and like it’s just a stupid crush anyway. I’ll get over it.” i said matter of factly. I didn’t get over it for a whole year… He was just so handsome and he seemed so more mature compared to the rest of the boys. He wasn’t and still isn’t but like The fact that he was out in the world touring and working on music and like he just seemed like he was on a different level then the rest of us here. Like he was still the same old haechannie who liked to tease me but like I just saw him differently and he was so incredibly untouchable it hurt. Like I think it’s his passion that drew me in. He practiced so hard, He worked on his singing so hard. Watching him at a piano was a treat. I still love him and would date him in the drop of a hat to be honest but like I know he doesn’t see me that way, I’m still the same ol me to him and I don’t think that will ever changed and that’s how I eventually got over him enough to be here normally. The boys didn’t help either. They’d constantly tease me about it behind his back I’m honestly surprised he never found out. “What’s wrong Y/N?” Haechan asked sitting down beside me

“I’m just thinking.” i said hoping to keep my voice even.

“About?” Jaemin asked from across the fire.

“Life.” i said my voice sounding smaller than I wanted it to. I now had all their attention. “Ah shit. Here we go.” i said looking down “We’re almost adults. 20 years old in 6 months. doesn’t that scare you?” I asked “not just at work but here. and in real life too. I get anxiety thinking about what will happen to you guys at work honestly. We barely see mark.” I said “And like it’s just all gonna change.” I said my voice finally cracking I looked down as my eyes welled up “I’m so grateful to know you guys as stupid as you are.” I said trying to laugh. “We’re so lucky to have met how we did because I honestly can’t imagine my life with out you guys and idk if you feel that same way or I’m just some dumb girl but like you’re all gonna be there when I get married and I hope when I have kids and like I just want to be friends forever. and I don’t want to lose you guys.” I turned to Renjun “I don’t want to lose you.” he knew what I meant and I was full on crying at this point “Not yet anyway.” I sighed in my seat and I looked up at all of them. They were all so quiet and somber I thought I had ruined the trip  then Haechan spoke up

“We’ll always be friends no matter what.” he said and all the others nodded. He said it with such a finality that he didn’t need to say anything else. It was when I looked around and saw each of them looking at me with concern and worry that I knew. They really did care for me.

“lets have some more marshmallows.” i laughed “I’m sorry.” i said wiping my nose with my hoodie sleeve

“No. it’s understandable.” Jeno said “We’ve been so busy. life catches up with you.”

“let’s play truth or dare!” Jisung said hating all the sad stuff. i smiled a knowing smile at him and nodded

“Yeah!” i said. We all stood up again and played rock paper scissors to decide who would go first. Jisung would go first and we’d go around the circle asking to our left. Renjun chose truth so Jisung asked him

“what’s one thing you can’t live without?”

“easy. Headphones.” Renjun replied quickly “truth or dare?” he asked Jaemin who said Dare “I dare you to do karaoke for us. one song WE PICK.” He said motioning for Haechan to come over with his phone and speaker.

“Argh not this one!” Jaemin said as the most popular song in korea rn started playing “I’ve heard it a thousand times.”

“sing! or we’ll throw you in the lake!” Jeno said as the song started into the melody we’d all heard at least 1000 times. Jaemin started singing his voice cracking here and there because it wasn’t in his key. The guys laughing at him as he turned various shades of pink. it was a sexy song and he hated it

“choreo! come on!” rejun said as the chorus started soon enough they were all up dancing various stages of the song.

“you guys are a mess.” i said in between laughing. the song came to an end and they all sat down. “Thanks for the show.” i laughed. they all threw marshmallows at me. “okay next.”

“Jeno! truth or Dare?” Jaemin yelled as he opened his water.

“truth.” Jeno said

“Favourite idol you’ve met.” Jaemin asked

“EXO hyungs.” Jeno said easily

“boring.” chenle asked “I pick truth.” He said taking a bite of a hotdog he had cooked himself

“Favorite place we’ve been so far.” he asked stiffling a yawn

“Brazil.” he said “truth or dare?” he said turning to me.

“truth.” i said pondering how bad it could be they were doing easy questions i should be safe

“first crush.” Chenle said i wasn’t safe.

“um. like first first crush? or first real crush?” I asked

“first real crush.” he said “we all know about you’re crush on Goku.” he said rolling his eyes

“hmmm.” i said pretending to think while looking across the fire at Jeno .”No names BUT we were 15.” I said looking away from Jeno as our eyes met i could tell he knew immediately. “First time I’d ever noticed a boy in this way that was my age. wanna guess?” I said looking around at the boys as they all have puzzled looked on their faces.

“We met already?” Renjun asked

“yup, you guys were in training. He was the only boy in our grade that was this tall and handsome.” i said looking down as I could practically all hear them whip their heads towards Jeno.”it was short lived but this boy will forever remain as the boy I liked first.

“Is he still as handsome?” Jeno asked looking at me from across the fire with a small smile, i could feel the rest of the boys eyes peering into me.

“Other girls seem to think so.” i said smiling back at him. Haechan laughed beside me

“AWWW! LITTLE Y/N’s FIRST CRUSH IS JENO!” He said roaring with laughter, which caused all the other boys to start laughing.

“WHAT?! i wasn’t the only one to crush on him that year!” i said defending myself “not my fault the rest of you refused to go through puberty.” i said they all took that so well. I was kind of shocked

“Hey! my voice was dropping already.” Jisung said defensively

“it’s still dropping!” I said to him “girls go crazy for it online.” i said “if they only knew what a baby you are.” i said laughing. He shot me a dirty look. “Okay if you are all done.” i said turning to Haechan

“Dare.” he said looking me in the eye.

“I dare you to finish that bottle of juice in 30 seconds.” i said pointing to the full bottle beside him

“Easy.” he said picking it up “timer!” he said

“Go!” Jisung said. We all watched as he chugged the juice quickly “he’s done that before.” Jisung said as he watched. He finished the bottle with 7 seconds left and wiped his lips while looking at me

“Told you.” he said. I sat there pouting. The game went on for two hours. We had tons of fun. Chenle made me do their choreo in front of everyone while they filmed it. I wanted to die. We all sat around the campfire just talking about the past school year and how much fun we had. Jeno yawned first.

“we should go to bed.” i said stretching my legs out. “How are we all sleeping?” I  asked standing up a shiver went down my spine as the wind brushed my hair across my neck. “it’s getting chilly.” I said I went over to my bag and dug out my comfy clothes. sweats and a long t-shirt.”I’m changing in the tent!” I said running into our tent. I could hear then all fumbling around outside the tent, yelling at each other, beating each other up from the sounds of things.

“y/n hurry upppp.” Haechan whined from just outside the tent pulling at the zipper.

“Stop it! or you’re all sleeping outside.” i said as I slipped into my sweats. I changed from my real bra to my sports bra and slipped my shirt over. I sat down and washed up my face.

“What are you doing??” Jisung asked

“Washing up.” I said as I went over my forehead a few times.

“Washing up on a camping trip.” Jeno said flatly.

“Don’t come for me when you’re all breaking out when we get back.” I said as I packed up my things “Come in.” I said shoving my bag in the corner. The zipper  opened they’re all came piling in carrying sleeping bags and pillows and blankets. They were all kind of hunched over and bumping into each other shoving and i’m backed against the back wall of the tent “GUYS! wait!” everyone back out!” they all practically fell out of the tent I followed suit and grabbed my sleeping bag and pillow from the pile they abandoned it in. I looked at them all varying stages of bickering with each other.

“Oldest to youngest.” Renjun said.

“Fine.” Jaemin said knowing he had a chance at a good spot being fourth, the rest of us all groaned and nodded in agreement. My birthday was in November.so I was third last. This was my first time sleeping over with all of them. over the years i’d spend the night at one of their houses or one of them mine but never all of us at once. I sometimes wonder what other stuff I missed out on having no girlfriends I grabbed my headphones and my blanket. I was waiting. Renjun went into the tent first and set up his bed along the back wall.

“HEY! wait!” I  said as Jeno started walking into the tent! “There’s enough room for me to sleep along that back wall too. Renjun and I Horizontal and the rest of you guys spread out vertical along us.” I said looking at all of them hopeful “look at you guys if any of you try and fit there it’ll never work.” I said gesturing at how tall they were. “Renjun is JUST short enough that I’ll fit and it’ll create more room!”

“wow! she’s a genius!” Jaemin said as he looked at the room they’d all have. they all nodded and i made my way into the tent. I rolled out my sleeping bag and sat on it. the rest started coming in and rolling out their things. Jaemin and Chenle slept on myside. Jeno and Haechan on Renjun’s side and Jisung planted himself straight in the middle. “I can’t believe it.” Jaemin said laying down starfishing on his sleeping bag “so much room.”

“We don’t get to cuddle.” I said pretending to sound sad.

“What are you talking about. i’m gonna cuddle Jeno all night.” i heard Haechan say from the other side of the tent.

“YOU BETTER NOT!” Jeno said. and then they started fighting. At least I think, my eyes were closed i was so comfy.it was warm in the tent, it was really getting cold outside. “First to sleep has to build the fire and cook in the morning.” Renjun announced as he sat up and took out a deck of cards. We started our uno Marathon. It was already kind of late. The first few rounds were fun and exciting, then I started losing and getting tired.

“Look! y/n’s getting sleepy.” Jeno teased as I dozed off.

“I’m not.” I whined opening my eyes.

“I can go all night.” Haechan said excitedly

“We know!” we all said in varying stages of annoyance. Haechan was really a work of science, the boy barely slept and was still so energetic.

“I’ll have that food ready when you guys get up.” I said grumpily as I slid back into my corner of the tent. I faced towards the window so the glow of the lantern we had on wasn’t as bright. I put on my headphones and fell asleep listening to my favourite songs. I woke the next morning to see the sunlight coming through the crack in the window cover. I blindly rolled over and let my eyes adjust to the glow. I saw Jaemin sleeping right in front of me, at least I think it was jaemin, his head was covered. I looked and saw jisung beside him rolled up like a burrito and down to see chenle all spread out half off his sleeping bag. I heard Renjun lightly snoring above me. I couldn’t see where jeno and Haechan ended up. I reached around for my phone it was around 10. Perfect time to get up on a day off I thought. I tried my best to quietly get up, I was actually so warm in that tent. The sun shining warmed everything up. I quietly made my way out of the tent trying really hard not to step on anyone. I saw a glimpse of Jeno and Haechan in the back corner of the tent. Haechan clinging onto jeno for dear life. I couldn’t help the giggle the escaped. Jeno would die if he knew. I went and dug a bottle of water out of the cooler, I chugged half of it and started digging for our food. I took out the eggs, and instant rice we bought. I grabbed the kettle and filled it with some of our water. I walked back over to the fire and wondered how I would start it. I saw chenle doing it last night but did he make the sticks a certain way, did he use a match? why did he need that paper? I sat down on a chair trying to think back to how he did it. I heard rustling in the tent then as if on cue Chenle popped his head out and sleepily made his way over to our bathroom bushes. I waited for him to come back 

“You going back to bed?” I asked him as he sleepily approached me 

“Nah I’m up.” he said walking over to me, his morning voice something I’ve never heard before. 

“Good.” I said. “I need help.” I said looking up at him batting my eyes holding the matches out to him. he laughed as he took them. 

“You wanna learn?” He asked as he crouched down rubbing his eyes with one hand sliding the matches out of the box with the other, He pushed up his hoodie sleeves I noticed the bracelet I gave him at christmas still tied on his wrist. I nodded then crouched down beside him. “okay.” he said clearing his throat. “First we make the wood pile nothing too crazy, just enough to burn for a while. He said “then we take something small to burn first. In this case.” He said holding up the newspaper i had brought along “it’s paper, you take a small bit of this and then crumple it so then you light it and throw it into the smaller sticks underneath and then slowly the rest of the wood catches fire.” he said as he lit the newspaper.and threw it in. Sure enough there was smoke and small flames growing. 

“Wow.” I said and he turned to me and smiled. “Thank you.” I said he nodded then sat on the chair behind him. I stood up, I went over to get him a water bottle. I brought it back to him he looked up at me thankfully. he opened it and chugged all of it. “thirsty?” I asked he nodded. He was so sweet when it was just the two of us. I loved that he was this comfortable around me to let his little guard down. He’s told me all of his worries in the past. stuff only Jisung and I would probably ever know. He wasn’t just a spoiled rich kid. He lets people believe that about him sometimes. “It’s easier that way.” he said to me. He’s so incredibly passionate about everything he does but it seems like it all comes easy to him. Every one goes on about Haechan’s sunny demeanor but no one ever notices Chenle’s. I used to wonder it if was an act for him to be this happy and fun all the time. Then I realized he really loves what he does and who hes with. He wears his heart on his sleeve. These are all the things I’ve loved and will continue to love about him once I get over my phyisical attraction to him. don’t even get me started on that. I looked over at him as the fire grew before us. His hair catching the light just right, His face a little puffy from sleeping but that just made him cuter. his facial features delicate in a way. The way his hoodie hung on him slightly as it was too big for his growing frame. His little sweater paws. i smiled. He looked over at me 

“What?” He asked with a shy smile looking away 

“Nothing.” I said “You’re just a cutie.” I added teasing him. he blushed ten shades deep and looked away swatting his hand at me. I laughed “Thank you for the fire. i would have never done it.” I admitted 

“It’s no problem.” he said “I learned years ago.” He laughed as he thought back “my mom wanted me to know. you’re wife will thank you later in life.” she would tell me.” He laughed looking up at me through his eyelashes 

“lets’ hope your wife is as good a chef as me.” I said teasingly and he blushed again. He was so fun to tease. I went over to my pile of food and started getting it ready. I put the kettle on the fire and took out a frying pan. I started scrambling the egg’s in a big bowl. “you think they’ll get up anytime soon?” I asked him, he shrugged “this is enough for the two of us?” I asked him holding my bowl. He nodded. I poured them into the pan and cooked them til they were perfect. As if on cue the kettle slowly started it’s crescendo into screaming but Chenle stopped it before it could go full volume. i smiled a thanks at him. I took the eggs off and put them onto a paper plate. I Then opened two rice cups and poured the water in. I put the kettle off to the side.

“I’m starving” He said as we waited for the Rice to cook. I separated our eggs and got us cups of juice. Chenle and I sat beside each other sharing a small table between us. “let’s eat.” He said holding up his rice cup to me then digging in. It was so peaceful, the birds we’re chirping, The sun was shining but not beating down on us too hard that it was unbearable. The fresh air now mixed with the smell of our food. I looked up at Chenle between bites as he ate his food.”this is so good.” He said smiling at me. We slowly started talking about what he plans to do next time he goes to china, We talked about how much fun it would be if we all went out with him. He told me of all the places he wanted to show me. It was honestly so much fun just sitting and talking with him, He lit up when he talked about things he loved and that made me happy. I forgot it wasn’t a camping trip with just the two of us until Jaemin was suddenly behind Chenle. 

“Morning.” he smiled at me a huge smile and thumbs up from behind Chenle 

“Morning.” I said looking down

“Anything left for me?” He asked looking at our empty containers

“Yeah. coming right up.” I said, getting up to gather my cooking items. So much time had passed I put the kettle back on 

“I wasn’t interrupting was I?” he asked sitting down across from us pointing between Chenle and I yawning.

“we finished awhile ago.” I said trying to discreetly give him a dirty look. 

“Ah.” he said sitting back as Chenle tossed him a water bottle. I cooked him a bunch of scrambled eggs and let the kettle scream this time so everyone could wake up. After I took it off I heard a bunch of grumbling coming from the tent. I couldn’t help but laugh as one by one they all crawled out of the tent. 

“So are we swimming today?” Jisung asked excitedly as he ate.

“Yeah!” renjun said “The lake isn’t far from here.” 

“okay. Eat up then we’ll go.” I said. I had been saving a two piece suit forever, I always wore a one piece around them and they wore t-shirts too but i was almost an adult now I could wear what i wanted. I was too scared to wear it in actual public. “You guys go to the lake and change there i’ll come after.” I said as they all finished eating “I’ll clean up then meet you in like 15.” they all nodded and and gathered their things I could hear their banter slowly fade as I cleaned up all of our breakfast. I threw some water on the fire and went to change in the tent. I wasn’t as revealing as I had previously thought. The bottoms were almost shorts and the top was almost like a sports bra but it had cute little lacing up the middle. it would be perfect for the lake. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me, I felt self conscious as the breeze his all my exposed skin. I grabbed Haechan’s speaker and some bottles of water and made my way in the direction they had left. I  wasn’t walking long before I could hear them all playing around screaming. I walked closer and closer to the sound then I finally smelled the freshness of the lake. I could see it in the distance all of their heads floating around. 

“HEY!” I yelled out. they all turned and waved, only their heads poking out. I waved back “is it cold?” U asked 

“No! Just get in here!” Haechan said. I put my things down and laid my towel out. I turned to see all of them staring at me. Different unreadable expressions Jisung looking down and anywhere but at me, I sighed, Teenage boys. of all times for them to notice me it’s now. 

“You bought that when we went to the mall?” Jeno asked confused

“No” i said making way towards the water and jumping in “I’ve had this for years.” I said popping up and pushing my hair back “I’ve been too scared to wear it but it’s just us.” I said 

“In that case.” Jaemin said making his way to the shore. He got out to about his knees then flung the t-shirt the clung to him off and made his way back in 

“He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Jisung said floating on his back

”Jaemin make me uncomfortable?” I laughed as he came over and shoved me over. I splashed him back but ended up hitting Haechan behind the head he then came over and shoved me under the water. I came back out and then we started chasing each other all over the water. We played around for a few hours before I was exhausted and needed a drink. I went over to the shore and laid out my towel. I sat on it bringing my knees close to my chest as I drank some water. I looked out at the boys. Chenle and jisung  and Haechan we’re still playing with each other. Renjun was floating around living his best life and Jaemin and Jeno made their way towards me. 

“You brought the speaker!” Jeno said excitedly as he sat beside me splashing me in the process. I protested and shoved him over as he shook his hair at me. “Give me your phone!” he said as he fiddled around with the speaker. it wasn’t long before he had songs playing on the speaker for all to hear. They all turned in our direction and started making their way over to us. It wasn’t long before we were all laying on the lake shore, music blasting, The shade of the tree above protecting us from the hot sun that shone down.We lazed around on the shore all afternoon. It was late afternoon, We should be heading back for food sooner or later. I sat up 

“Anyone hungry?” i asked. They all said no. 

“i want to go back in the water, We should have brought a ball or something.” Jisung said. as they all agreed in varying stages of laziness. 

“Lets go then!” I said standing up and running into the water. Jisung followed suit. the were a few rocks so we were chasing each other back and forth to those seeing who could swim faster then that brought everyone else into the water. I washed away all of my impending worries in those moments. Living in the moment as the summer faded around us. Times I will remember for the rest of my life. The smiles of each of these boys that mean the world to me. The time where all we had was each other and we knew we’d be okay. I sat up on a rock and looked out at them. The same boys i knew at 14 now almost adults. So much we’ve been through but so much to go through yet. So many feelings and experiences to explore. So much life to live and i’m grateful to live it with them.  

[thiswreckageivebecome]

As Long As It Takes (“The End.” -Part 25) (Sebastian Stan x reader)

Description: “I’ll wait for as long as it takes, as long as I get you at the end" You meet Sebastian Stan on the street in New York. What starts off as a fan encounter stretches to an unexpected coffee date and before long you’re caught up in a whirlwind and left with an internal struggle of what to choose.

Word Count: 4108

Warnings: Language.

Authors Note: As noted in the title, this is the final part to this story. Thank you for sticking with me through all of this. It has meant more than you’ll ever know. ALSO, in the process of moving my computer screen was destroyed so I’m trying to post all of this via the mobile app and we all know what a bitch that can be. Therefore, I apologize for the formatting issues that are found here. If it’s too annoying, you can find the story on Wattpad and AO3.

———————————————————————-

The following eight months seemed to rush by, yet move as slowly as slime simultaneously. You worked on getting your things and your life, in many ways, packed up and ready to move into this new chapter of your life.

Sebastian had to assure you multiple times a week that everything would be okay. You knew it in your heart but starting over somewhere new brought you anxiety some days, not to mention that packing to move was the worst experience of your life. When Sebastian had free time, he came down to assist in packing. The majority of the time not much packing was done, but instead laying in bed binging television and just enjoying each other's company. There were some instances, however, when Sebastian did help. The two of you went through your things, things you had retained in your possession all the way back into middle and high school.

"I have hoarding tendencies if you couldn't tell by now," you told him one time after the two of you had spent the last three hours looking through one tub of letters and pictures from way back when. The memories had brought back happy tears to you and much laughter for both of you.

"I love you regardless and I will officially put into my vows that I'll never submit you for that hoarders show."

"Ha-ha," you said the words out stocatto-like, drenched in sarcasm. Soon enough, September was ending and Green Day was calling your name. You had just shipped the last few pieces of furniture to Sebastian's apartment, it still felt weird to say our apartment, when a honking horn was directed at you. You smiled when you saw your friends, Beth and Caroline driving up.  As you hopped in, Beth addressed you first, "ready to go drop some dollar bills!!!" You couldn't help but roll your eyes.

"Please, please, don't tell me you're actually taking me to a strip club for my bachelorette."

"You'll just have to wait and see," Caroline peeped in. The three of you headed to the airport to board your awaiting plane. When you landed, your friend Talley was waiting for you at the gate. You embraced as you hadn't seen each other in a year or so. You all headed out and to your awaiting vehicle which Sebastian has lined up for you. The limo took you to the hotel where you met Olivia who had flown in from LA to be a part of your wedding party. The five of you decided to nap before heading out for the evening. Sebastian knew you were off limits until the wedding Sunday but you still planned to facetime.

"Hey, babe," Sebastian practically hollered at you once the call connected. You had to rip your headphones out of your ears to avoid hearing damage. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry," he attempted to apologize, not thinking about the headphone not being back in your ears yet. You got the headphones positioned back in your ears and smiled at the screen while talking small.

"You're feeling good, huh?" You chuckled lightly. It was obvious the boys had already gotten started. Seb's eyes were glassy and he had that dorky, albeit very tipsy, smile you loved so much plastered on his face.

"Yeah! We're about to head back out. These dudes, I swear, (y/n), I love them so much." His face quickly sobered. "Not as much as I love you, of course!" His face lightened again.

You busted out laughing as quietly as you could so not to wake anyone already napping.

"Thanks for that. Make sure you tell every one I said hello." The next thing you knew your ears were hurting again before you could remove the headphones.

"GUYS! HEY GUYS!! (Y/n) SAYS HELLO!!" You just barely heard a chorus of "Hey, (y/n)!" in response.

"Babe, you're going to end up marrying a deaf woman if you keep it up."

"Shit. I'm sorry...again."

"It's okay. Well look, I'll let you guys go so you ca-"

"(Y/n), Chris wants to talk to you. Here he is." You heard the phone drop to the floor and the pickup amidst of "Damn, Sebastian. Hey, man. Why don't you go sit down for a minute. I'll bring you the phone when I'm done talking to (y/n) so you can say goodbye." You heard Seb agree before you heard Chris' voice.

"Hey, (y/n), how are you?"

"Oh, I'm good. Not quite as good as y'all are, though, it seems."

"Not as good as Sebastian and some of the other guys, you mean. I'm good. I've only had a beer or two thus far. Someone's gotta keep an eye on these fellas."

"Honestly, Chris, why am I not surprised?"

"At what exactly?"

"That you're taking it easy so that you can keep an eye out."

"Yeah, well. It seemed like the thing to do."

"Well, I appreciate it, Chris. I mean. It's still early and if they're already that tipsy, there's no telling how crazy the night is going to get." You paused, mind swirling as an unsettling thought crept in. Before you could stop yourself you said it aloud. "Sebastian must be getting really nervous about getting married."

"Hey, hold on just a second." You heard a door open and shut and a few more seconds of little sound.

"I wanted to step out where it's a little quieter so we can chat without distractions. Why do you say that? That Sebastian is getting nervous?"

"Just forget it. I honestly didn't mean to. It just appeared in my mind and transitioned to my mouth."

"Well, it clearly bothers you so I think I shouldn't forget it until we talk about it or you talk about it with someone. I would put Sebastian on the phone but honestly, I don't know how much good it would be with his alcohol-filled headspace right now."

"Chris, I really don't think I want to talk about it," you replied even quieter than before.

"You may not want to, but I really think you need to."

"Look, the thought literally just came out of nowhere because of him being so wasted so early. It just seems like a lot of alcohol very early in the evening. I know sometimes he tends to drown out his concerns with alcohol, not always, but sometimes. God, I make him sound like an alcoholic. He's not, Chris, and that's not how I meant it."

"I know, (y/n), I know."

"Maybe I'm the one that's nervous about getting married."

"No, I don't think you are. I feel like you've never been more sure of anything." His response couldn't help but make you giggle.

"You're right, actually."

"I thought so."

"For what it's worth, I think Sebastian feels the same way. I know I've told you before but I've never seen him this happy in my years of knowing him. I think he just is happy to be back together with his buddies he hasn't seen in a while and they were wanting to drink so he joined can.” He paused. "Man, I make him sound like a peer pressured teen." He started laughing and you joined him.

"You really did to be honest. Awww, teenage Seb. I wish I had known him then."

"Has Georgeta shown you the photo albums yet?"

"We've made it through his second year. That's it, though." He guffawed at this info.

"Well, the good news is, after Sunday, you'll have the rest of your lives to look through them."

"It'll probably take that long too," you giggled. A moment passed. "Thanks for talking with me about the irrational fear that creeped in for a moment. Everyone here is napping so I'd have no one else to talk to about it."

"Of course, (y/n), you're one of my best friends. That means we're here for each other. If you need to chat at anytime all you have to do is pick up the phone. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose I do, despite that I never really think to do so, honestly. That goes both ways. You know that, don't you?"

"I do. Oh God, I hope Sebastian doesn't hear because you realize we just both said 'I do''s, don't you?"

"Oh hell, we did didn't we?"

"Yeah, but I'll keep it on the down low." You laughed.

"Thanks, Chris. I was so worried you were going to show up and try to move in with me," you said sarcastically. "Granted, I'm unsure where you'd move into since I currently an homeless." You could practically hear his eyes rolling in his head.

"You're not homeless, dramatic."

"Well, technically I am still in transition. I'm just saying."

"In transition my ass. All of your shit is here and unpacked."

"No, it's not."

"The stuff you have in your suitcase doesn't count."

"No, but the majority of my stuff is still in boxes spread throughout Sebastian's apartment." He took a moment before answering.

"(Y/n), it's not, I swear to you. I have yet to see a box and I've been here all afternoon." You began to think and wonder because you had literally FaceTimed Seb before the girls picked you up and the only things you had shipped were furniture pieces so all boxes had already made it up there. In fact, Sebastian had tripped over a box of your things while you had been on the call.

"I don't understand." How in the world would he have gotten rid of all of the boxes.

"Hold on a sec." You heard rusting on Chris' end of the line. "Oh shit," you heard him say quietly and you could almost see him looking down in frustration. "(Y/n), I'm so sorry. I think I just ruined a surprise."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I think Sebastian unpacked everything for you and had already put it around the apartment. I bet he wanted you to feel right at home and wanted to surprise you by having everything unpacked when you guys got back. He's already separated his closet and one side is all of your clothes. Shit, (y/n), I'm so sorry."

Your eyes began to tear up, touched by how thoughtful and time consuming this gesture had to have been. He must have only had a few boxes left when you had FaceTimed.

"Oh, Chris. It's okay." You sniffled.

"Oh, God, please don't cry. I feel like shit already."

"No!! No, it's not that. I'm not upset. I'm just touched by his gesture."

"Oh, thank God. I was worried for a minute there."

"Well, look, I need to get off of here and take a nap. Thank you for keeping an eye on him, all of them, tonight. I really appreciate it, Chris. You have no idea how much I do. I know we're not supposed to see each other before Sunday but will you please let me know if anything happens and I need to be there? Or if you need backup because I feel like it's gonna get pretty rowdy."

"Well, you may be right about that, but I can handle it."

"Chris. You have Seb, Mackie, Chase, and Chu. Just those alone are enough to cause concern. Let alone the other four.” Chris busted out laughing in response.

"That is very true. Okay, I'll call if I need backup, I promise."

"Thank you. Also, don't take this the wrong way because I love all of them, but for God's sake don't let Seb promise anyone another spot on the groomsmen team. Please promise me that."

"I got you, (y/n). I'll keep them in line and out of the groomsmen line," he said chuckling.

"Thank you, Chris. Seriously, all joking aside, thank you. I forever owe you for all of this."

"Don't mention it."

"Don't mention what?" You teased.

"Oh okay, smartass. Let me go tell Mackie you added him to the wedding party."

"Shit. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You both began to laugh again.

"Alright, well I'll let you go so you can nap and I can check on the boys. It's awful quiet out there."

"Yeah, you better go, then. I’ll talk to you later and thanks again."

"Anytime, see ya."

You quickly fell asleep. The next thing you knew, you were being awoken by Caroline and Beth jumping up and down on your bed.

"Damn, you guys." You tried to remain serious but couldn't stop yourself from grinning.

"Let's party!!!" They dragged you out of bed and quickly into an almost endless night of fun. After brunch you all finally headed back to the hotel to rest. Vegging out with plenty of laughs, catching up, and chick flicks were all in order on the night before you married the man of your dreams. Sunday came and the wedding went off without a hitch, surprisingly. You all danced the evening away before Sebastian and you headed out for your two-week honeymoon on a 2am flight.

Your honeymoon was spent traveling through Italy, Romania, and the Philippines. Before you both knew it, it was time to return to your home in NY. Sebastian still had a few weeks off of work so you two spent practically every moment together. Once he was down in Atlanta, you decided that you'd begin a job hunt, looking for something part-time. It worked out that Sasha happened to need some extra help around the shop so you stepped in. Since Sasha knew the inner-workings of you and Sebastian's relationship, the job at the shop gave you something to do and some income while he was away yet the freedom to visit him when it was convenient for the both of you. About a year and a half after you were married, you surprised Sebastian on set in Greece.

"Babe!!!" He exclaimed entering his trailer, running to you, picking you up, and spinning you.

"Sebastian," you squeezed his neck, "oh, I've missed you...so fucking much." You kissed him as he released you back to the floor.

"Oh, that goes both ways," he quietly replied after your lips parted. You both smiled softly but only for a moment. "So, babe! What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"Ahm, Sebastian, babe. It's called a surprise," you responded sarcastically.

"Oh, thanks for the info. I had no clue." He rolled his eyes back at you.

"I just missed you!"

"Well, I'm so fucking psyched you're here. How long are you here for or is that a surprise too?" Now it was your turn to roll your eyes.

"No, that's not a surprise. I'm only here a couple of days. I have to be back to work on Monday." Seb's face dropped a little bit. "Sure I can't call Sasha and work something out?"

"Don't call her. She doesn't know I'm here."

"What?" His eyes grew in size. "You didn't tell Sasha something? Since when?"

"Oh, hush!"

"I'm serious!! You told her about that one night that I had to go to the doctor the next day after what we did. It was like you couldn't wait to laugh at me behind my back. Actually I take that back, you laughed in my face. It was like you couldn't wait to have other people laugh with you." You attempted not to bust out laughing in his face once again. "Go ahead, laugh. I can tell you want to. Your face is about to turn purple from you holding it in." You complied and had to bend over as you couldn't stop laughing. He took your arm to keep you from tumbling over. Once you caught your breath again, you leaned back up, thanking him for the laugh and for steadying you.

"Okay, so a little bird told me you get off around seven tonight?"

"Who've you been talking to?"

"A little bird. I just said that."

"Well, you're right so you must have been talking to someone important or at the least, correct," he laughed.

"So dinner tonight?"

"Of course. Then a little dessert?" He winked seductively. "Actually, how about a lot of dessert? Maybe a couple of dessert trips?" He waggled his eyebrows at you. You slapped his chest.

"Stop, Seb. I get it, okay."

"I mean, it's been a month."

"Seb, I get it!" He pulled you by the hips to him, your face flushing.

"Okay, I'll stop...talking about it. But is it a possibility?"

"Dessert is a possibility."

"Wait. Just to be clear...dessert or," his voice dropped to a gruff tone, "dessert?"

"It'll be a surprise." He smiled, reading your mind. No surprise would be had that night. The next morning, however, Sebastian had a big, slightly prankish, surprise waiting for him. He had left you asleep in the hotel suite and headed to work. He stepped up to his trailer on set to go in and get ready, or so he thought. When he opened the door, about 30 pink plastic bodies slid out of the trailer. He was shocked but then he realized what the pink plastic bodies were. He couldn't see anything but plastic bodies inside his trailer.

"Surprise!!!" You shouted behind him about 10 feet off. He spun around quickly, jaw dropped in shock.

"Wait. What??" He said as a ponderous smile began to spread across his face and his eyes ignited with joy. "Are you saying???"

You simply nodded with a painful cheeky grin. He ran to you, picking you up into a bear hug lifting you off the ground in the process.

"We're going to be parents!!!" He shouted for anyone in earshot to hear. Little did he know most everyone on set already knew as you had roped them into helping you with the surprise. Everyone came out of the woodwork, or rather, from behind trailers, props, and inside the building, clapping and cheering, passing on their congratulations.

Later that evening after Sebastian got off of work, he rushed back to the hotel but when he walked in you were asleep. He fixed himself some breakfast for dinner. As he turned around to plate the food, he saw you standing next to the island.

"Shit. Did I wake you up? I'm so sorry."

"Sebastian, it's okay. I didn't mean to fall asleep, it just happened. I wanted to be awake when you got back."

"Are you hungry?? I'll fix some food real quick...for both of you." You smiled and walked leisurely to him, putting your arms around his back and interlocking your fingers behind him.

"I think we're fine for now. We ate a lot earlier. Thank you, though. We both appreciate it."

Sebastian lowered himself to one knee and placed his hand on your stomach despite that no one could really tell you were pregnant yet.

"I can't believe you're here, little one," he said caressing your stomach. You ran your fingers through his hair as he continued to speak softly to the baby and sneaking butterfly kisses here and there.

"You're going to make a great dad, you know."

"You're going to make an even better mom."

"We shall see. I have said for about seven years now that the only way I'd have kids was if they were yours. I couldn't deprive the world of little Sebastians running around."

"I can't wait to meet her."

"You want a girl," you asked incredulously. He stood up to his full height and pulled you close.

"Yeah, I want the world to have a little you running around." You shook your head and chuckled lightly into his chest.

"I love you, Sebastian." After a moment, his hands moving to your arms and leaning you back quickly he exclaimed,

"Wait! So you're telling me, you knew you were pregnant...and we did ....what we did last night!?" You burst out laughing.

"Seb, you can have se-" his hand flew over your mouth stopping your sentence short.

"Shhh!! She doesn't need to know about," he whispered and then softened his whisper even more to finish, " s-e-x yet." You couldn't help but giggle at how silly he was being and he removed his hand.

"Seb. Babe. Stop." You continued laughing. "You're being ridiculous."

"How long have you known?"

"A couple of weeks."

"So...you mean the last time we...before last night, of course."

"A month and a day ago, yes." You grinned.

"I just can't believe this. I'm as happy as I've ever been."

"Me too, babe. Me too."

You went back home. After another couple of months, Seb was home and on hiatus from work for the following two years. In the meantime, he didn't miss a moment of your pregnancy, the child, Sophia Faye Stan coming into this world, or her first year of life. After Sophia had passed the age of three, Sebastian and you began trying again and it wasn't long before soon you were pregnant again. This time you got the little Sebastian you had been hoping for. Mihail Stan was born in May two months to the day before his sister's fourth birthday. Sebastian continued to work but it was less frequent typically only working a couple of months a year and limiting PR so that he could spend time with you and the kids. Your little family purchased two homes, both near enough to either side of the family so that the kids could know their grandparents better. Your family spent three-fourths of the year in NY as it had become your home since moving and the remainder of the time in NC with trips down in between visits. After Mihail had gotten to the age of two it worked out that a new child came into the family but by adoption this time. Rosamie Sampaguita Stan came into your lives on December 22nd. Adopted from an orphanage in the Philippines, Rosamie was dropped off at the orphanage and no one had been able to track down her parents for the past year of her life. She brought so much joy and a feeling of wholeness to your little family.

By the time the kids got to high school, Sebastian decided to limit his work even more. He stuck to jobs that would be local and didn't require travel. You continued your photography business you started after Rosamie turned six. Sophia pursued acting, like her father, but studied at Syracuse. Mihail grew up loving animals and became a veterinarian, moving to North Carolina to attend vet school at NC State. He graduated with honors and moved to Boone to open his own practice. Rosamie remained close to you. She loved to dance and after studying dance at Juilliard, she opened up her own studio downtown, purchasing a home just a few blocks from the quaint two bedroom home you and Seb downsized to after she graduated college.

The remainder of your days were spent with joy and love. You welcomed the sons-in law and daughter-in-law and adored the grandchildren you were blessed with. It was a beautiful 45 years of wedded bliss.

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I can't believe it's finally over. A part of me has died as I have enjoyed writing this story so much. Thank you to all of those who read and enjoyed. I'm eternally grateful for your kind words and eyes. I want to quote "Chuck Shurley/a prophet/ God" in Supernatural to finish everything out:

"Endings are hard. Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always going to be holes. And since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you they're a raging pain in the ass...So what's it all add up to? It's hard to say...No doubt, endings are hard. But then again, nothing ever really ends, does it?"

@pari0924 @yesixoxo @a-d-v-e-n-t-u-r-e-s @verymuchso-youknow@moniquefitzgerald@chmereaustin@rayonship07@buckyband@wydari@parisispretty@mylexlife@ivoryfoxfigliadeifiori@pepperspraymeiwillpeppersprayyou @crownie-sr@sebstan01@awinterloveuniverse@linksforlaylor@layoutmellet@theliarone@rebekastan98@discophony@inthenameofrock@glitterintheairblog@millie-saurus-rex@celinejfong@camerica96@emilyinbuffalo@seargantbcky@sebbysebbastan@iamwarrenspeace@jeelicious78@valentinachr@badassbaker  @sebbystanlover-vk@mummastace @ssweet-empowerment @void-imaginations @ilovebeingjoyful @superwholockian5ever @mashed-fandom-imagines @the-nonsenseblog

[onrainynights]

So I'm about to tell y'all a tale, buckle up. Everything here is 100% true, except names are changed or shortened because duh. Also warning there is slightly nsfw content, nothing explicit and only mentioned but still warrants a warning.

So, I'm 17, almost 18. I'm a high school senior. The story starts almost two years ago, in the fall of 2018. I was a sophomore. One of my best friends, V, was in our school's show choir for the first time, and had made friends with a new guy one year our senior who was also in slow choir. I knew before I met him that he was gay, because V told me. This guy can be called E. One day, he sits at our lunch table and I'm not really paying attention to his conversation with V, I'm just eating my lunch. But then I look up and my first thought when I see him is "eyebrows" because he has really thick eyebrows and then "wow he's actually really cute." He was the first person I was attracted to in over 2 years. I proceed to ask V all about him while admiring him from afar for several months. At this point its nothing more than attraction because I've never really had a conversation with him. Then, in the spring, I volunteered at the show choir competition my school hosted. I ended up talking to him (yay), and he hugs me within minutes of meeting me. One of the first things I ever say to him is "I like your eyebrows." Things are slightly awkward, because I'm an awkward person, and so is he, but it's pleasant. Unfortunately I don't get to spend too much time with him because we both had things we needed to do and there was A LOT of drama that night not involving either of us.

After that point we would talk occasionally but never really got to know each other, UNTIL fall of my junior year and his senior year. By this point I had a crush, but it wasn't more than that and I didn't feel we knew each other well enough to warrant me telling him my feelings. We were both in the fall musical. At auditions, we were friendly. Except he asked me about J, a guy one year younger than me, who was also just as gay as both me and E. The way he asked me "Who is that?" I knew, immediately, that he was attracted to J. He sounded exactly like I did when I first asked V about E after seeing him for the first time.

Regardless, E and me talked a lot more during rehearsals, though we usually kept our conversations light in topic. We flowed well, and he was just as physically affectionate as I was. After a few weeks, I see him cuddling with J during rehearsal, and a friend informs me they started dating. I asked them both questions about how it started—a Snapchat story, go figure. At first I was jealous, but I saw how happy E seemed, and that was all that mattered. But I didn't really know J, like at all other than his name, so I started spending as much time as I could with the both of them. They were a cute couple, I have to admit, but they always did PDA because of J's homophobic family. They only ever saw each other at school.

The first time I talked to J without E there, we bonded. I don't remember over what. The next time, we were alone because I pulled him aside after he made a dirty joke that I honestly couldn't tell if he meant (he did. It was hilarious, and I told him up-front that I wanted to be friends with him. He enthusiastically agreed.) The time after that, it was because I decided he should know about my feelings for E. I didn't want him to potentially find out later on and think I was trying to steal his boyfriend. He was amazingly mature. He said he felt bad for taking E from me when I had liked him longer, but I assured him that E didn't belong to me by any means and besides, J made E happy and that was all I cared about. I think I was already in love with E by this point but I didn't know it yet. J and I joked about my feelings for E whenever we were alone. We got along really well and it was a great time.

One time I cuddled with them, and it was nice, and when E had to get up J and I kept cuddling and talked about how much we both just wanted E to be happy. It was really nice.

And then, closer to the opening night of the show when the set was being built and there were more places to be out of sight, something strange happened. Now, earlier when I said PDA I meant they made out in front of others frequently, and the first time they did anything sexual with each other was in a well-known security camera blind spot in the upstairs math hall after all the teachers had gone home. I know that because J and E (mostly J) liked to tell me about their sex life. In fact, I knew more about their relationship than most people probably did.

So we were backstage one day, when E wasn't needed on-stage much despite playing a main character. There were two prop chairs between the three of us. J sat on E's lap on the chair that had a higher back and I sat as close to them as I could in an office chair. They weren't kissing or anything, just talking.

It was innocent, at first. But then J started working E up, if you know what I mean. It wasn't really uncomfortable for me, because J somehow made me feel ~included~ in their activities. He would whisper something lewd to E, who would blush or say something back, and then would tell me about how affected E was, how hard he was. At some point I think E mentioned not wanting to come in his pants, but I'm not sure. I kinda forced myself not to look into this event after it happened, so the details are a bit fuzzy. Eventually, E made J stop because he had to go on stage soon and didn't want to have a boner while pretending to be straight. J and I talked afterwards, but I don't remember what about, and it was never mentioned between us again. I'm fairly sure that J was a bit of an exhibitionist, and that E wasn't really one but wasn't opposed to what J was doing, either.

Honestly, in hindsight, I'm not sure what to think about this, because I was always so certain they both viewed me 100% platonically, but then they included me in their "sexytimes" without hesitation. In fact, at one point a plan was in place for me to room with them on an overnight trip so that they could do the do without making their roommate uncomfortable. They were both fully aware that I was probably the only person who didn't mind their PDA, and that sentiment may seem incongruous for a love triangle such as this, but I never questioned it. I loved E selflessly, and so it made me happy to see him happy, no matter what—or who—was doing so. Also, I think perhaps I was crushing on J at some point, but I'm not sure. These screenshots are of me explaining the event to a very close friend a few days ago after the shock wore off that I hadn't told her about it as soon as it happened.

At some point, a mutual good friend of mine and E's, who we'll call A, hosted a party for the cast of our musical. I'm not sure if this was before or after the casual exhibitionism incident, but I'm inclined to think it was before.

This party did not involve alcohol of any kind because theatre kids don't need any to make a party unique, wild, and totally unforgettable. It was small, with maybe 20 people at its peak. E and I were there and J was not, because his family thoroughly sucked ass. Anyway, at that party E told me he was in love with J, and wanted to marry him some day. I, obviously, thought that was kinda crazy to say after knowing each other for two months, but I held my tongue because E smiled so widely when he said it. Later that same night, everyone was sitting around a fire, playing a game somewhat similar to truth or dare. Due to a lack of seating, E ended up sitting on my lap for most of the game, which lasted over an hour, my hands around his waist. It was very nice, and when he got up he laughed and said he forgot he was sitting on my lap. He forgot little things like that a lot. I always found it endearing.

Then the show performed and then it was over, and I didn't get to talk to E again until a few months later, and I never talked to J again. Unlike most teens, I do not talk to people online /through text unless I already know them super super well. I hate getting to know people over text. By the time I see E again, because he's the student assistant in my choir class that semester, he and J have broken up. It was messy, and E is hurt. They're on-again-off-again for several months, but I can never forgive J for hurting E, not when he had talked about only wanting E to be happy. Despite that, I wish I could have spent more time with J. He was a good person, but he and E had a toxic relationship after the honeymoon stage, I think because J simply was not ready to be in a serious relationship. (A agrees with me fully on this.)

So E talks with me and a mutual "friend" (we're all friendly but I wouldn't consider this person a friend. Funnily enough, he also had a crush on E at some point, and we bonded over this. Funny how that happens.) about his relationship, and the things he says raise some red flags about J (including J doing something E didn't like during sex and then not stopping when E asked him to. I was very very angry at this but tried not to show it). It became clear to me that their relationship was toxic, but I didn't feel like I could do anything about it. In hindsight, I should have known their relationship was doomed a lot sooner.

Specifically, there was one point during the musical that J had to resolve things with his ex, who was a friend of mine (who I didn't know was queer and wasn't supposed to until E accidentally let it slip.) While J and his ex talked, I cuddled with E and reassured him that everything would be ok. He was convinced that J would cheat on him or get back with his ex. This lack of trust should have been a sign for me, but I didn't realize it until much, much later. I was focused on comforting E at the time and J couldn't have been farther from my mind.

Then, after E and J got back together again for the last time, covid happened, and school closed. I haven't spoken to E since, and no one knows what's going on with J. The only thing anyone knows is that they're not together anymore, and from what I can tell, they're not in contact at all and aren't going to get together again. E graduated, J is at a different school, and despite everything, I miss both of them.

Every day, I pass by a photo of E and A in the hallway of my school, and my heart swells, and I feel like crying. A graduated too, and she's moving thousands of miles away at the end of October for college. E is still living in our town, going to community college, but I never get to see him.

Our school is doing a fall play instead of a musical this year, and E and A are coming to visit and see a rehearsal before A moves away. It could be one of the last times, if not the last time, I get to see either of them. I'm going to tell E about my feelings, because for the first time since I realized my feelings for him were not skin-deep, he's single and not recovering from a nasty breakup. I'm not expecting him to return my feelings, but I'm expecting surprise. I've been very careful up to this point to keep my feelings from him—I thought it would be selfish to tell him when he wasn't emotionally available. A loves the idea—apparently she thinks someone confessing feelings for her after years would be sweet—but I know that if someone did that to me I might not be so happy. I would be shocked and surprised first, and then my reaction after that would depend on the person.

Also, to complicate all of this, I'm trans and he has expressed confusion about that before (poor guy is uneducated in that department, but not bigoted and certainly better than some gay men can be, but I still have no clue if my trans status would deter him from having feelings for me)

My feelings for this guy are deeper than anything I've ever felt before. I really love him, and I know that I'll regret it forever if I never tell him. His visit feels like it's as close to the right time as I'm gonna get, and it might be my last chance on top of that. I don't need him to return my feelings, but I need to know that I did everything I could to take my chances.

TL;DR: I'm a gay idiot but I'm finally gonna tell him how I feel

[whatthejwang]

I wanted to take some time to reflect on my thoughts and write about them.

Sorry for not appreciating you more. You deserve so much more than I gave you. Sorry I became someone you couldn’t love anymore. I spent too much time focused on the things that I thought mattered but instead I was drifting further away from you. I was self-centered and arrogant, and I used you as a crutch to carry me and validate myself. One of my biggest regrets is using you to justify my 2018 Fall semester. You're right. It wasn't your fault. I ruined that semester for myself. I'm sorry for doing that to you. I spent so much time feeling bad about myself and never did anything about it. I spent so much time doing that, I didn’t have enough time to pay attention to you and your needs. I was selfish. I just kept lying to myself, telling myself that I needed time to relax instead of going over to your place. I let you come over to spend time with me while I did who knows what instead of cherishing what little time we had in our busy schedules. I'm sorry that it always takes you getting fed up with me for me to start changing. I'm sorry that I'm all talk and no action. I want to reevaluate my own life equipped with the understanding that I have gained. I want to start being true to you and myself again.

I want to work on myself and us in the Fall. Sometimes I say things are impossible, because I don’t believe in “nonsense”. When I saw that our schedules didn’t line up, I made plans. But, I was so stupid so I just skated by on the easy answer and said, “I guess we won’t see each other” when deep down, I knew that I could damn well get off my ass and go over to your place and cook you dinner, have some wine, and play a board game. I'm sorry about that.

I know that my lifestyle has been a large issue for you. My energy level has defnitely decreased since we first met, and I have gained a lot of weight since then. I feel tired a lot more often and lead a sedentary lifestyle because of it. I don't want to make excuses to you saying that I have been lacking as a boyfriend because I gained weight and feel bad about myself. I'm making it a goal to get back in shape this summer. Not just for you, but also for me. I miss when I had an abundance of energy and my body felt like it was healthy. I'm pretty sure you know, post workout high is real. I felt like I had so much more energy in the Fall that we met. I also know that I'm kind of a slob. It's a really bad habit of mine, and I'm trying to change it. I hope you'll stick around to see me throw away my trash in the fall. I also want to work on my mental health. I haven't been in a really good mind state and instead of facing my issues, I've packed them away and let them sit there. I want to take control of my life again and deal with the problems that I've been having. I'm sorry that all of this has had this effect on our relationship and you.

I think that there was something lost in translation in my head when I thought that I wanted to date someone completely different from me. I initially wanted to experience new things and get into new interests. But instead, as time went on, I ended up interpreting that as I can have my interests and she can have hers and that’s ok. I somehow twisted that thought into the idea that I don't need to show interest in what you show interest in. Having that talk to you was very eye-opening when you said all of the things that I like and I was, but I couldn't say anything about you. That is one of the emptiest moments of my life. And I'm deeply and extremely sorry about that. I want to take time to learn about you and your goals an passions. It's not you job and not fair for you to just be my cheerleader. Every time you would plan someone or want to go do something, I would’ve just rather stayed in my room. I was comfortable there. I became too complacent in my life and our relationship to see that I was tearing us apart. I can’t change the fact that I never went stargazing with you after that night in the beach. I can’t change the fact that I couldn’t get the idea that you loved that moment through my head. But trust me when I say that I want that. I realize now that there are experiences that I will never get to have if I don’t do them now, while I’m still young and here. I want to share these moments with you. I want to dance around on the beach at 3 in the morning and stargaze. I want to point at the whale that showed you the goods at the aquarium. I want to take a walk in the park. I want to stomp in puddles. I want to hype you up when you walk out into the room with that new outfit on, or when you cut your bangs, or when you're doing drunken history with your friends. I want to travel to new places and see new things. I want to go see a show at the Fox. I want to lean how to stop chasing the money and start chasing my dreams. I want to sing to you, your music or mine, but mainly Ed Sheeran. I want to slow dance in your room, because that shit is cute, and I love you. I want to cook for your again, good food or bad (I know you would prefer good, but sometimes it just happens). I want to talk more. Not about our days or what we want in the future. I want to talk about things on your mind, the whimsical ideas. I really miss just talking about nonsense. I want to surprise you with flowers. I want to show you new foods, hopefully ones that you'll want to eat! I want to take out out to so many more anniversaries. I want to send that good morning/ good night text. I want to ride that huge ferris wheel that we see every single time we try to leave campus. I want to get drunk and go watch comedy. I want to go on weekend trips with you, just us two. I WANT TO TAKE YOU ON DATES AGAIN. Not just dates at Chick-fil-A. This list could go on and on so I think you get the idea. If you want to hear more let me know! I want to stop buying your love, and be your love. I understand that just paying for things isn't good enough. I want to stop protecting you and start loving you for who you are. I want to stop taking myself and my life to seriously. I want to work through my own problems, so I can be better for you. I want to take more interest in your goals and aspirations instead of being so wrapped up in mine that I don't pay attention to you at all. I want to hear your plan to create your own company. I want to see that drawing of a snail that you drew an hour ago, no matter how bad you think it is. I want to become friends with your friends. I want to learn how to care for you again. I want to be there for you, no matter how hectic my life gets. I want to stop taking myself so seriously and love you unapologetically. You make me a better person. If I am able to get one last chance from you, I will turn all of the "want to"s into "will"s. You have my word, however much that means to you now. But know that I am adamant to get my life together and be the best I can be.

I’ve had a girlfriend for the last six or seven months, and I understand now that I want a relationship instead of just “having a girlfriend”. I'm sorry again that it took me this long to realize this when we've been arguing about it for the past couple of month. I'm sorry that I have been reluctant to change. I know this puts you in a hard place, and I'm also sorry about that. I want a relationship where we both contribute to create a rich and meaningful bond between us. I want to communicate effectively. I know that you need your space right now, and I understand that. Please do whatever you need to do to be happy. I want that for you. I want you to reunite with your friends, and discover new things about yourself. But, I want to be a part of your life again if all possible. I want to show you who I really am. Who I am out of my shell. Who you fell in love with in the beginning. It's not your job to coerce me out of it, I just needed a wake up call. I don't want to lose you because of my own inadequacies. I know you said that a relationship shouldn't be this hard. Please let me show you that ours isn't. It has been my fault this whole time. I understand and can admit that now. I want to show you what this relationship could be. Like they say, hindsight is 20/20, if I knew that my actions would cause this, I would've faced myself and forced myself to change for the better a lot earlier. I was lost. Very lost. I now see how much this has affected you and I want to make it up to you. Please call me if you need anything, I just want to chat, as friends no strings attached. You can even set up ground rules. Once again, I'm sorry that it had to come to this for me to realize that without you, nothing else really matters that much. Please don’t cut me out of your life. I can and am going to do better. I know that this is all talk right now, but I'm thinking of this post as a road map to what I need to do to be the best me I can be. I hope I can ask you on a date again come fall and show you how far I've come. Until then, please don’t forget about me. You are the most important thing to me, and I'm sorry that it took me so long to understand and appreciate that. I want to be with you, I want to stand by you, and I want to love you. I want to kiss you and hold you. I will be better. I love you. I love you so much, honey-bun.

P.S. Please call me if you see this, I miss chatting with you.

[laencore]

broken promise

Alex: I'm not proud of you.

I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. To hear that from the person you love most in life, she tore right thru me.

I've been with Alex for 6 years and she's the love of my life but there has been few occasions (5 she's been counting), where I have made her feel insecure, unhappy... I've made her feel like shit. She doesn't trust me. Before I say anymore, let me take you way back where this started.

Alex and I met in high school. It was a new school where I had no friends but two cousins Steph and Miguel. Thank God for them if not high school would of been a really dark place. Miguel and I were the new kids in school oh and a couple hundred since 2006 is where all California decided to more to Texas.

Steph already had been there and had a few friends and one of those friends was Alex. From an outsieders view Alex seems to be one of those girls that liked you if you were convenient, if not she would pay no mind. After getting not know her, I found out that she came from a family with great morals, someone who treats people like she wants to be treated and feel respect. We stayed friends all thru high school. I started noticing her differently after that. I developed felling along the way. Certain thing she would do I became in love with. For example, she's a pusher but in a good way, she pushes people to do their best. She's the type to cheer at a pool table game, even if you made the eight ball when your not suppose to. She's the most confident person, she goes into situation that are new to her with no doubt and if their is fear, i've never seen it. Never in a million year would i think this girl and I would be more than friends. I don't know how she decided to be mine but she is.

I have had this friend since high school, Celia. When Alex and I became boo's, Alex became insterested in knowing Celia. They both became friends and everything was great, if Alex and I were planning to go out or do something, we decided to invite her. Not that she tagged along all the time but everyone was good. The first year of our relationship I didn't know how to express emotions all that well, Alex and I called it quits. It was my first real relationship, even though Alex says it wasn't that serious, I cried like a lil' bitch that night.

Celia being a friend, she would be there. She would be the person i would vent to about everything that was happening. A few weeks passed and on of my cousin's, Miguel, would be turning 22 and decided to celebrate this birthday at this bar called SoHo in the middle of downtown San Antonio. I asked Celia if she wanted to drive together since she was invited too. The truth was, that asked for her to go with me because I knew Alex was going to be there.

Celia and I were one of the first ones there, we waited for everyone to get there. We sat on a table that faced the bar but you were able see the coming in. I saw her walking by, Celia and I both said "Hey Alex!" Nothing, not even a glance at our direction. Celia and I said to each other, "Fuck it, lets just have a good time." And we did. Celia was always there and so was I. She was a little boy crazy. If she was feeling down, I was there to cheer her up because she was there for me.

A few months after that, Miguel was graduating for community college and he wanted our group of friends (which pushed me aside for Alex) to have dinner at Piranha. Celia wasn't invited because her ex-boyfirend was dating a new girl and well Miggs (Miguel) is a no beef type of guy. I was sitting next to Kurk and Ed, which was Celia's ex boyfriend. He started talking about the Air Force since he had enrolled a few years back and hadn't seen him in a while. The door opens and I hear her laugh. I could feel peoples eye looking my way. I grab my drink and i sip my gin and tonic because that's what Colin Firth and Julianne Moore drank in, A Single Man, one of my favorite movies.

Still talking to Ed and Kurk, I'm eavesdropping on Alex's conversation with the group. She just flew in from Tempe, Arizona where she was working as a trainer for a call center for JP Morgan Chase. I looked up and said the first thing that came to mind, "How's the weather over there?"

She relied, "It was good, it's usually pretty cold."

We continue to talk asking each other how we've been... small talk. After everyone was caught up with each others lives and done with eating, Miggs, decides we should all go to Bar Louie to continue the celebration.

Some of us got there before others, Miggs and Johnny and I were the first ones there. They both say to me, "That went well." I reply, "What do you mean?" They continue, "You and Alex." I looked confused "What were we supposed to do, fight with each other, cause a scene? I don't think we're that type of people." Miggs and Johnny get closer "We're just happy everyone is getting along. It's been hard since you and Alex have slit. Sometimes we're not sure if we should invite you or her or both of you guys to things." I get louder. "Is that why I haven't been invited to go out with you asshole!?!" Both of them, "Yes! It's been hard, you guys left us in an uncomfortable spot."

Alex gets there about ten minutes after we did, we all get drinks and it feels less tense. Everyones laughing and telling stories of all the things we've done together. The times we've gone on our mini rode trips, the many wild nights at The House of Scum. The House of Scum was the home of Ed, Johnny and Miggs. They were in their early 20's and i think Ed was 19, you can only imagine what's happened there. No rules and no fucks given, good times.

The more and more Alex and I spoke, I knew I never stop loving her. Her laughter, her smell, the way she looks at you when you got her undivided attention. She makes you feel calm even if your in a bar full of people and a DJ blasting music. I knew she was the one. And that night was the night I was going to confront Alex. I knew I still had feelings for her and I didn't know if she had any feeling for me anymore but I was going to get her alone so we could talk. I leaned in and asked her is we could go somewhere we could talk. "Okay," that's was she said.

We walked out of the bar and she locked arms with me. Thinking to myself, "I might still have a chance." It was too cold to stay outside. We went to the nearest car with was her truck. She put the heater, we talk about how our year had gone, we both did a little bit of traveling which was our new obsession. I've always gone to Mexico to visit family but that year my brother and I had gone to Mexico by ourselves where we didn't know anyone and it was a life changing experience. She had traveled too and she told me she went to New York City and I was instantly jealous. I've always wanting to got to NYC and never did and here she knew how much I wanted to go. I had so many questions for her. After a few minutes I asked, "Why did it take so long to talk to each other?" asking her while rubbing my hand together to keep warm. "We've been busy." her looking outside into the lights of the parking lot. "Sure but we've always been busy and that never stopped us before." She smiled and said, "You talk more." I looked confused and said, "Really, should I shut up now?" With a half laugh she said,"No, I like it." I asked, "Why did we even brake up?" She took a moment and said, "We broke up because you didn't talk about much, I didn't know how you felt about things. If you were happy or if you were upset. I was talking to myself sometimes." "I didn't want to argue of get upset at things that don't feel worth getting mad over. I just rather enjoy our time together when we were together." "You would only talk about how you and Celia went to this place, how you did this or that. If you would get upset you would vent to her. Where was I in all of this? It would never be me." "I guess I never noticed until now." Her, still looking at the lights,"That's why..." "Why did you ever tell me?" "I'm not going to tell you how to do things. You're suppose to make your own choices. Plus, I'm not going to ask you to loose a friend." "That's it though, she's just a friend and good friend. Everyone else took to your side, I didn't even know there was sides and fucking left me. The only person that stayed was her." She looked at me, "I'm sorry, I guess thats my fault. When anyone mentioned you, I didn't want to hear about you." "If you would of told me how you felt things would have gone differently." It was silent.

"Do you remember Miguel's birthday?" she asked. "Of course I do. I said hi and nothing." I look at her with a frown. She continues,"I had all the intention for us to talk but who was there right next to you? Her."

"I never knew you felt that way," while holding her hand

"Well know you know." Her hand were warm like they always been. Mine were like popsicles, cold.

She got a phone call. She say, "I'm going with a co-workers party and Miggs is going with me but i want to see you tonight."

"Okay. What time?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, its a bit of a drive. I'll call you when I'm leaving the party. Stay up?" She asked with smile.

"Alright, I'll see you tonight." I told her.

A few hours passed and I get her text, "Are you up?"

I reply with a simple,"yup". I pull up to her drive way and see her in her car with. I get out of my car and knock at her window and she looked startled. She opens the car door and I whisper to her, "Why are you outside?" She whispers back, "Everyone's asleep and I don't want to wake them" We get into my back seat of the car. The stay up talking and in silence. She leans on my shoulder and says, "I missed you." I tuck her hair behind her ear and touch her face and say, "I missed us."

Since then, we've been together and that's been since 2012

The issue now is that I've betrayed my baby's trust. I've lied or kept where I've been going. While writing this i realized thats been an issue since we've broken up the first time. I've never cheated on Alex nor has that ever been an issue. There's nothing in this world more that I love than my Alex. I've always thought that i would do for her but I've failed. I'm willing to do anything to get her trust back. And it's hard to just tearing someone from your life but its harder for Alex to be torn by the person you love. I'm willing to sacrifice a friendship that hurts the person that I love. And I hope she can forgive me.

I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry, I stabbed you in the back when you weren't looking. I don't want to make up words and just say sorry because i've said them before. I broken the promise i made to you, i promised to never fail you, to follow you where ever you go. i'm sorry baby.